#that person who voted for the final person on the list. that was the only vote cast for the last six parties.
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toytulini · 2 years ago
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act annoying on this post and ill block you ♡
everyone accusing black sails fans of Being Rude In The Notes owes me $10 for making me look in the notes (like. What. WHERE) and $10 more for subsequently making me witness the Stede fans also being unhinged petty assholes but it doesnt count when they do it, i guess?
at this point im saltier about Black Sails fans being repeatedly being called assholes but ofmd fans Not being called out for probably the same behavior or worse? and with what feels like very little. evidence? god damn
#toy txt post#pirate poll#if you reply to this post you are in danger of being blocked and ignored#note: after having looked in the notes at what yall are calling mean and cunty amd asshole behavior from flint stans#i would like to add a disclaimer that none of you literally owe me $10 its a silly fucking thing im saying online that means nothing#lest ppl decide to add exortion to the list of crimes we're accusing flint stans of out of ? little to no basis#ftr im a flint voter but i also like stede and ofmd bc im starved for gay pirate shows. these shows are holding hands. these#shows are having a conversation and all of your being dumb in the notes about either one of them owe me and the#poll runner $10 each. again. not a literal statement unless u like. really want to i guess? lmao#i have issue w all yall. those of u voting flint cos stede took a pardon and irl stede bonnet was a slaveowner#are voting for the correct choice for entirely wrong reasons#its not irl stede on the vote its ofmd stede. flint has said his crew has sold more slaves than theyve freed#and the pardon........ill get into that tomorrow#the ppl hating stede for abandoning mary are hilarious to me sorry. he abandoned her and then she was like. finally thriving#the ppl hating flint for being edgy.....specifically that person admitting they didnt even watch past the first episode...#im glad u are not in the fandom i dont think we'd get along lol#u think flints bad for being edgy........whew#to the person who hasnt seen either show but voted flint bc he seemed more chill: you are the funniest person on this earth and i love you#that man is the least chill a man has ever been#and only finally seems chill by comparison when its Silver's turn to go off the rails and then its like not even for very long#hes the least chill there is and hes valid#anyway. one fear: thousands of salty ofmd fans hatevoting flint into oblivion into the next round#if you do that or are planning to do that. i hate you and you are extremely annoying#god he really is vriska. god forbid gay pirate women do anything 🙄#they h8te to see a 8ad 8itch winning
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genniviva · 1 year ago
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The mood was pretty weird while counting votes tonight. We were all... baffled? Baffled, yeah, especially at first when we were unfolding the votes and were met with party four, four, nineteen, four again. Wilders' PVV ended up with more than a quarter of the votes cast at our location.
We tried, but none of us could imagine what that guy would do if he were to somehow form a coalition. He has been opposition for so long that we had to wonder--does he even know? He doesn't have a party program beyond "fuck migrants." He relies on charisma and the neat thing called "not being in charge of the government people hate." Dick.
Anyways. Not happy about this at all.
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sirfrogsworth · 8 days ago
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Early voting to beat the lines... the best-laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.
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So... yesterday was quite the day.
After being stuck in bed for the past 6 weeks with some mystery slump, I was finally feeling better. So I decided I would try to cram as many errands into my day as possible. That works better for me when I drive out into the world because I end up only having to do one big recovery instead of a bunch of little recoveries.
My to-do list...
Go to the doctor
Vote early
Return oxygen machine to FedEx store for scammy eBay guy
Return Amazon package to the UPS store
Get gasoline for my whip
Go to Discount Tire to get my tires filled for free
Drop a check off for my lawn guy
Mail a secret package to Katrina at the US Post Office
It would have been nice if I could have gone to just one shipping place instead of all three, but the universe has a sense of humor and likes to do shit like that to me on a regular basis.
So, I get my checkup, it goes quick, no long wait, I'm feeling good.
As I get in my car, it starts to rain. It was an ugly day and it actually has not stopped raining to this very moment a day later. Just gray, windy, chilly, and wet. I look up the voting place and start the GPS.
Wipers and music on full blast, it's time to get my vote on.
When I reach my destination, I realize early voting is at some kind of private golf club. And at the center is a recreation center—which is a public building.
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So it's like this private/public turducken situation.
I was expecting this errand to take 20 minutes. Because early voting always seemed like a way to get in before the crowds of election day for a more convenient voting experience.
But the parking lot was packed and I feared my expectations were about to be subverted.
As I walk through the parking lot I see a bunch of signs in the ground.
And a particular one caught my eye.
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This is bullshit.
Like, just a straight up lie. No truth to it whatsoever.
Amendment 3 in Missouri basically restores abortion rights in the state. And Republicans have taken issue with the following language...
"The Government shall not deny or infringe upon a person's fundamental right to reproductive freedom, which is the right to make and carry out decisions about all matters relating to reproductive health care, including but not limited to prenatal care, childbirth, postpartum care, birth control, abortion care, miscarriage care, and respectful birthing conditions."
They claim the phrasing "but not limited to" means you can give an 8-year-old kid "sex change surgery."
This is how their online flyer puts it...
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It could also include a free puppy.
Or a zillion bucks.
Or a clown will come to your house after the abortion and honk your nose.
It's ridiculous and desperate. I honestly don't know how it is legal for them to put a lie like that outside of a polling location, but here we are.
The organization "Missouri Stands with Women" is run by... a man.
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It was set up by a lawyer named "Edward Greim" on behalf of the Federalist Society.
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His law firm has a lovely biography about him. And a bunch of publicly available contact information. I say that for no reason whatsoever.
The Federalist Society funds all kinds of shit like this. Their main thing is installing conservative judges all over the country who will reinterpret or negate legislation. And they do it all to "stand with women" by taking away their reproductive rights.
Here is the board of directors of the Federalist Society.
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Ya know, before I looked this up, I said to myself, "I bet it's going to be a sausage fest." I am psychic.
I think it would be more accurate to say they stand with A woman.
Just one.
And she sucks.
Nicole is a law professor at Notre Dame. She chose her Catholicism over her right to choose. The Catholic Church will fuck your rights and your children and Nicole will help them do it.
Anyway... back to my quick and easy voting experience...
So as I'm walking in to vote I keep passing a ton of these awful signs. I notice an older woman standing next to the aforementioned "child sex change" sign and she says, "Can I talk to you about Amendment 3?"
At this point, I'm pretty angry. I look her dead in the eyes and say with my most assholish tone, "NO." as I walk past her.
And then she finishes her sentence...
"...to protect the reproductive rights of women."
Ah, dammit.
I thought she was an old Karen but she was cool as heck. Standing out in the rain telling people the sign is bullshit. I wanted to turn around and apologize but I was stuck in full social anxiety mode so I just kept walking.
If that old lady happens to have a Tumblr and follows me and is willing to read this giant story... I just want to say I am sorry. I thought you were awful and I should have let you finish your sentence. You're super cool and I'm happy there are folks like you fighting for what is right.
I get inside and a young woman greets me. She tells me the line is in the next room and points. I still wasn't quite sure what the situation was. The parking lot being full gave me pause, but I was still hopeful I could have a swift early voting experience.
But I walk through the doors and into a huge gymnasium and my heart sinks.
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It's hard to represent in pictures how long this line is.
It goes all the way to the end of the gym, loops around, and comes back. At first I was not too discouraged, because there was a nice gentle ramp at the start of the line.
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But then I notice several sets of stairs at different stages of the line. And I'm just thinking how hard it would be to stand in this line and then also having to go up and down several sets of stairs.
So I go back to the young woman working there and ask what their accessible voting options are. And she told me I could do curbside voting and points outside. I then notice a line of cars wrapped around the parking lot. I don't know how I didn't see them walking in, but I guess I was too busy being a jerk to elderly progressive women.
My biggest concern was time.
The longer this takes, the more energy I use up, the longer my eventual recovery will be.
They tell me the car option is the slowest. And I could be in line for 2 to 3 hours. And then an old man who seemed to be in charge walks over and tells me the fastest option is to stand in line.
So I walk back out to my car and grab my cane and decide to try the long serpentine gynasium line.
I start walking up the ramp and some of the other folks see how slow and labored I'm walking and they start encouraging me. "You can do it! You got this!" Which I suppose was meant to be a positive helpful thing. But I found it to be embarrassing.
I get to the end of the line and notice most of the line has bleachers directly next to it. So I decide to sit down and rest and figure out how I am going to survive this experience.
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It took me a while to recover from the long walk to this spot. I watched a bunch of people pass me by and the line was actually getting much longer as I rested. I was not really sure what to do. I was trying to problem-solve this situation but the answer that kept popping up in my mind was just... "go home."
But I felt this was too important and that wasn't really an option.
My best idea was to ask someone if they would hold my spot in line. Perhaps I could just sit in the bleachers and follow them around in the line, staying as close to them as I could. But my social anxiety was set to maximum and I was not finding the courage to ask someone.
After about 10 minutes of sitting, resting, and thinking, I basically say, "Fuck it, I'll try to stand in line."
I get up and start walking to the end of the line.
Then I hear a voice yell out to me.
"Hey, man! Come over here! This is your spot!"
A young man was waving at me. He was accompanied by his wife. Both of them were dressed in black and they had a sort of goth skater aesthetic going on. He had a competitively bushy beard, but with less gray. And she had very vivid purple hair.
I was a little confused and still processing what was happening. Then they both started waving at me to join them in line. They remembered I got there just before and told me I should be in front of them. I walk over and thank them. Then he suggests...
"Hey, why don't you just sit in the bleachers and follow us around the line."
He suggested my idea!
Without me asking!
I felt like he read my mind or something.
Can bearded people read each others' minds? Was this some beard skill I was unaware of?
"I got you, man. You just sit and we'll keep your place."
And his violet hair'd significant other agreed. "Yeah, we got you."
The kindness of strangers was more accessible than my polling place and I was just so thankful in that moment.
So I sat in the bleachers and watched them traverse the line. In the middle of the gym there were some teenagers playing basketball. And so I just rested and watched them play.
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That young man in the red pants was like a goddamn Harlem Globetrotter. He was just embarrassing the others. He was bouncing the ball behind his back and through his legs and then he just danced around his opponents like a figure skater. It was such an unbalanced matchup. He might as well have been playing 4th graders. Not only was he significantly faster and more maneuverable, but he was consistently hitting 3-pointers.
And then during a break, he ran towards the hoop, jumped from the free throw line, flew all the way to the net, grabbed onto the rim, and proceeded to do several pull ups as if they were the easiest thing in the world. I don't think I've seen anyone jump that far and that high in real life and it was just a bonkers display of athleticism.
I spent the entire wait watching him humiliate the others—hoping he would get a full ride scholarship to some prestigious university.
And I hoped the other boys paid attention in school and got straight As, because basketball was not going to work out for them.
As my new goth skater friends progressed through the line, I would make sure to keep sight of them. Every once in a while I'd give them a head nod to acknowledge we were in this together. After an hour and a half they were at the final segment of the line, so I sat next to the wheelchair folks.
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I probably could have argued to sit with them in the first place. But I really did not feel like making the case that I was just as disabled as them and needed that level of consideration. The old man running things seemed quite stressed and was putting out 8 fires at once. And my anxiety wasn't really cooperating enough to be assertive in my needs.
But it worked out in the end, so I'm not going to dwell on the lack of accommodation for people who weren't *visually* disabled.
My new bearded friend neared the end and waved me over. I thanked him and his wife profusely.
I joked, "Thank you for adopting a voter."
They seemed confused by my joke.
"No problem, man. Happy to help."
I told him and his wife they truly saved me. "I honestly don't think I would have made it through the line." And then I looked back...
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I said, "As crazy as this is, I do find this kind of turnout encouraging." His wife agreed and said, "We were saying the same thing!" And then I thought, "Can the wives of bearded people absorb the mind reading ability? I hope she can't read my mind right now. Although, I'm mostly thinking that her hair is a really cool shade of purple, so she'd probably find that complimentary."
As I waited to get my ballot I could hear the happy couple behind me. They were very cute. They were making fun of each other in a very lovey-dovey fashion. I had high hopes they were going to grow old and gray and purple together based on their chemistry. And I was just so thankful they were able to recognize that I needed help without me asking. Because I probably would have just caved to my anxiety and not asked for help otherwise.
I got my ballot and sat down to fill in all of the appropriate squares. Thankfully I had prepared a cheat sheet on my phone.
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It was an exact replica so I was able to copy it and finish quite rapidly.
Then I fed my votes into the vote-eating monster and they gave me a sticker.
My quick 20 minute adventure to vote early only took 2.5 hours!
And because I didn't want to buck tradition, I stood outside in the wind and the rain and took a voting selfie.
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Yep, that seems about right.
Ah, crap... that was only the second thing on my to-do list.
Let's speedrun the rest of this story, shall we?
I drove to FedEx. I hauled a 40 pound box inside. I plopped it on the counter and said, "Man, this thing is heavy!" as I tried to catch my breath. The 20 year old working there then lifted it like it was a feather and I felt great about that.
I drove to the gas station because I was nearly on empty—that is both a metaphor and not a metaphor. I filled my ride with go juice.
I noticed I was a mile from the tire store and they fill up tires for free. So I did that and the guy was super nice and complimented my tires. I felt both weird and proud about having my tires complimented. Like, I had nothing to do with my tires being nice. But I accepted the praise on their behalf.
I drove to the UPS store. The last time I was there I made a scene. They refused to box up a return and I got upset and wasn't feeling well and they had to find a chair for me to sit in because I was going to faint. So I was hoping the same woman wasn't there, but she was. She didn't recognize me, so it was fine.
I drove to my lawn guy's house. He wasn't home. I dropped a check in his mailbox. My checks have corgis on them. My checks are cute.
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I drove to the post office. I sent a secret package to my bestie, Katrina. I'd tell you what is in it, but it is an inside joke and you wouldn't get it. The woman noticed my voting sticker and I couldn't help thinking about what I just accomplished to get that sticker.
On my way out I noticed a miracle.
2 of the 4 doors were fixed!
I mean, I don't know why they couldn't fix all 4, but now the employees won't freeze in the winter. So I take that as a win. It only took a year and a half to accomplish and I'm sure all of my phone calls and emails did not help at all. But I'm going to pretend I saved the day regardless.
And then... I drove home.
5 hours of errands.
I was so fucking tired. My back was on fire with pain. I immediately collapsed into my bed. I passed out. And I slept for 14 hours.
The End
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marisatomay · 1 year ago
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not from the us, whats going on with the speaker?
So back in January when the new Congress was sworn in it the republicans had a very slight majority in the House so by majority votes they get to confirm the Speaker—who is the leader of the House of Representatives and third in the Presidential line of succession—but a small-ish faction of those Rs are wacko nutjob conspiracy theorists because of course (those will be the wackos you see bloviating on TV) and they wanted their own idiot in charge or at least to get assurances from R leadership that they would bend to their will and they wouldn’t give it in so many words so it took the (now former) Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy FIFTEEN (15) votes for people to fall in line and finally confirm him as Speaker (deeply embarrassing—usually it takes 2 votes at most to confirm a Speaker).
Anyway his Speakership lasted for pretty much exactly 9 months until yesterday when, in a bunch of things coming to head—McCarthy’s refusal to impeach Biden for some reason at the request of the wackos, the currently-delayed shutdown of the government over a refusal to pass a new budget, his former ass-kissing to Trump even at the near-cost of his own life, his general unpleasantness—one of the wacko republicans (who may or may not be a sex trafficker but that’s for another time) put forth a motion to remove McCarthy as Speaker which, for the reasons listed above, found enough votes on both sides of the aisle to pass.
So, currently, we have an Acting Speaker of the House (which essentially means the person in charge only exists to bring order to the chamber and can’t be counted in the line of succession or anything), we still don’t have a new government budget, Biden is NOT being impeached but the wackos don’t seem to understand that, and the wackos ALSO don’t seem to understand that as much as we all hate McCarthy they have just shot themselves in the foot for no reason. But, on the bright side, Kevin McCarthy—an absolutely odious, slimy man who spent the Obama years doing racist dog whistles and the Trump years kissing his ass until it, quite literally, almost got him killed upon which he had a brief moment of moral fiber before once again bending to Trump’s demands despite, again, almost being murdered by an angry mob that stormed the Capitol—had the shortest Speakership since 1876. A fetus spends more time in the womb than Kevin McCarthy spent as Speaker of the United States House of Representatives. He has been completely humiliated. You can see it in his eyes. Delicious.
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wroetojaw · 1 year ago
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SIDEMEN BRUTALLY RANK MORE YOUTUBERS | H. Lewis
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
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summary: cozy day in with your boyfriend and watching the sidemen
tags: fluff, w2s x reader
warnings: slight cursing (not really)
a/n: instead of doing my literature essay I completed this story hope you guys enjoy!! more stories and stories about other youtubers are coming soon! ⋆。˚
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“Welcome to MoreSidemen, where the Sidemen, talk badly, about other youtubers” Simon says as the others cheer jokingly.
You giggle quietly while watching the video, leaning back into your boyfriend’s arms. Harry said you were one of the people they ranked and asked if you wanted to watch it with him. And, of course, you agreed because who wouldn’t. You watch Harry as he gets up from the couch to go get a snack.
"You look good in this video by the way," you complemented him as your eyes wandered back to the screen. "I reckon I look good in every video, don't know what you mean..." He remarked. You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him when he sat back down next to you only to be grabed by the waist and pulled closer to him.
"They are our friends, so don't take any of these seriously," Simon continues with a disclaimer, knowing how the internet would react if he didn't. "Maybe not for much longer if I get ranked last for any of the nice ones." You say, half-accusingly glaring at Harry. He puts on a guilty look and shrugs.
"Which Youtuber would you most want backing you up in a fight, we have seven people." The said seven people then popped up at the bottom of the screen. It was you, Deji, Theo Baker, Callux, Danny Aarons, Randolph, and Calfreezy. “Oh shit, it’s my girlfriend oh no,” Harry says, putting his hands in his face. The guys laugh at him and Vik says, “someone’s sleeping in the dog house tonight.” "Bro you better watch what you say."
"Who'd you want most", "Well Deji has got to be number one", "Yea Deji number one," they say in agreement. "Hey! What about me," you say, turning around to pretend to punch Harry. He ducks out of the way and says, "Come on Y/N, he's literally a professional boxer". "Yeah well...I can throw a punch too." You grumble, turning back around to face the television.
"...Theo's up there because he's pretty w..." You hear your boyfriend say in the video. "I could take him down," you mutter. "I know you could okay Y/N," he says as he kisses the top of your head. The guys continue discussing their rankings, not once mentioning you at all. "Okay now hold on a sec, because I personally think Y/N could pack a punch you know, I feel like she's got the temper enough to take a bitch down." Simon reasons with the group.
"Remind me to give Simon a big hug the next time we see him." You say gleefully, happy someone finally recognized your strength. "Yeah, I agree. I think she has the ride-or-die kind of mindset because she will fight for you and what-not, god I love her." Harry says. You look up lovingly at him and kiss his cheek.
"So we're going Deji, Theo, Danny, Lux, Y/N, Freezy, Randy," they say as they list out their rankings. "Are we sure about Freezy and Randy?" Tobi asks, to which Harry responds, "Y/N loves getting into fights so yeah..." You glare at Harry, unsure if it was a compliment or not. "You know she's actually mad strong. The other time she accidentally turned around and elbowed my stomach and it had a huge bruise for a week," Josh added. "Does that mean you're just weak then?" Simon says. The lads just laughed and before Josh even tried to defend himself, Simon already started talking about the fan's rankings.
"Randy's third? And Danny's six?" Simon says in disbelief. "No way I think Randy and Danny swap," Harry says, he looks down the lists and sees you've been ranked at sixth. "Wait no way they voted Y/N as last. Guys have you seen her during our challenges, she would take a bitch down," Harry continues. You thanked him for 'defending your honor' and gave him a big smooch on the lips.
They continued to disagree with the fan rankings, but you honestly couldn't care less anymore. Knowing that your boyfriend thought you were tough and could hold your own was enough for you. You begin to dose off as the video continues playing, hearing Harry chuckle every now and then when his friends make a joke, as he combs your hair unconsciously.
However, one of the questions you hear as you fall asleep catches your attention. "Which youtuber is the most attractive?" You sit up, curious about what would be their rankings. The rest of boys in the video look at Harry, thinking that he would instantly say his girlfriend, but boy were they wrong. "Number one Callux," Harry says immediately. You both burst out laughing as he continues to try and correct himself, in the video, realising his girlfriend was also in the list. You pretended to act offended as Harry 'apologises profusely', peppering kisses all around your face. You couldn't help but giggle at your boyfriend's adorableness.
Laying back down in your boyfriend's arms as he wraps them tightly around you, with the video playing in the background, you look up at Harry, wondering how did you get so lucky and how much you love your life.
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truth-has-a-liberal-bias · 30 days ago
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When Catherine Crews’ doctor told her in May that she had six months to live, she cried.
Then she asked her husband to call the courthouse.
A politically active Democrat, Crews had been watching the presidential election closely and was looking forward to voting for President Joe Biden in November. But diagnosed with a terminal illness, she wanted to know: How soon could she vote?
...
The election was still six months away, so Crews wanted to know her options. From the hospital, she had her husband call the Lafayette County circuit clerk’s office to see how soon she could vote.
Not until Monday, Sept. 23, when absentee voting would begin in Mississippi, came the reply.
Her heart sank.
“I said to myself: ‘I don’t think I’ll make it,’” she recalled.
Mississippi residents who are 65 or older are allowed under state law to cast an absentee ballot. Inside the courthouse, Crews stepped behind the small electronic voting booth that had been set up for people wanting to mark their absentee ballot in person. She marked her choice for president, Democrat Kamala Harris. She then gave her ballot to the clerk, who placed it in a sealed envelope. Only one more thing was left to do: Crews signed the ballot, and then she and Billy walked home.
Back at her house, Crews logged onto her computer and posted a Facebook message that she had written a week earlier in anticipation of this day.
“I cast the last vote of my lifetime to preserve Democracy in the United States of America and around the world,” she wrote.
She voted to protect the Constitution, she said. She voted for honesty, decency and integrity. She voted for loving her neighbor, regardless of their race, religion or who they love. She voted for immigrants who she said want to live and contribute to the country but who have been the targets of political rhetoric and hate. She voted for women to have the right to make decisions about their own bodies and for building up the poor and the middle class.
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mistycreativelilacs · 2 months ago
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Can you please write a Bruce Wayne imagine where he catches her singing or something cute like that?
Welp… it only took me -checks watch- three years to respond to this, but uh… here’s a 5000 word drabble I guess.
Kitchen Off Limits
About a year into living at Wayne manor you enacted an (ever growing) list of rules. Originally the list only had three rules on it:
1. Sunday is family day. Baring any Gotham destroying/world ending catastrophes everyone is to be in the dinning room no later than 11am for brunch followed by a previously voted on family activity.
2. Family Activity planning occurs on the first Saturday of the month, activities for the whole month will be decided then.*
*Attendance is NOT mandatory, however those who do not participate do not get to complain when we spend 3 Sundays in a row at the zoo.**
**No liberating animals from the zoo.
3. Monday thru Saturday the kitchen belongs to Alfred. Sunday morning’s the kitchen belongs to Mom*.
*That means no one, not even Alfred can enter the kitchen until AFTER brunch**.
**Yes Tim that includes you. You can wait for your morning cup of coffee***.
***ABSOLUTELY NO coffee pots, mini fridges, microwaves, blenders, hot plates, or dry food storage in your bedrooms or you WILL be personally hunting down every rodent and bug that comes crawling into the manor****.
****You can NOT train an army of cats to hunt vermin as a trade off for a mini fridge.
Certain amendments had to be made to the list with each new addition to the household. The final amendment to rule three inspired the creation of its own rule.
243. If you bring a pet into the house, YOU must personally care for it at all times. This includes feeding, grooming, walking, training and cleaning up after them as well as insure they have a proper habitat to live in*.
*Your bedroom is only a proper habitat for regular domestic animals (ie. dogs, cats, fish, small reptiles, small birds, caged rodents such as rats, Guinea pigs or hamsters and snakes, within reason - no large pythons). Large animals whether native to our region or exotic must be housed in a properly built enclosure on the grounds.
Needles to say the Wayne children kept you on your toes. Which brings us to now.
You awoke at the crack of dawn this morning to prep for the day. In a not so shocking twist, Damien had lied, cheated and outright bribed several of his siblings in order to get a zoo trip in this month. The Waynes were such regulars at the zoo (and contributed so much in donations) that they’d named an entire section after the family. The Wayne Reptile House (filled to the brim with several of the reptiles you’d ‘rescued’ from Damien’s room upon Alfred’s discovery of Damien’s unsanctioned renovation of his closet). It was important to you that the children experienced even just a smidge of normalcy amongst all the vigilantism.
You’re staring into the pantry, debating whether to do pancakes or waffles, when an old favourite song comes on the speaker. This was your favourite part of Sunday’s. Once everyone realized how serious you were about the rules, Sunday morning had become your alone time. If the kids were fighting, they handled it amongst themselves. If someone had a question, they went to Bruce or Alfred for answers. Mom was not to be disturbed.
The word Mom still brings a small smile to your face. You’d never really pictured yourself as a mother but when you’d stumbled your way into a romance with THE Bruce Wayne, he’d already gained 2 of your ever growing hoard of children. You’d stumbled your way into motherhood much the way you stumbled into Bruce’s arms.
You begin to softly hum to the song as you decide to just make pancakes and waffles. With a family full of crime fighters more was always the safer option. No one wants a repeat of Tim and Richard’s destructive fight for the last cinnamon bun. You had to spend a fortune redoing the dinning room after, replacing antiques was not cheap, and your heart still hadn’t recovered from the sticker shock. Needless to say the boys were still working off their debt by assisting Alfred in the daily runnings of the manor. As you got lost in the gargantuan undertaking of cooking for the whole Wayne clan, your gentle hums morphed to soft whispers of lyrics.
Just as you were frying the last batch of pancakes the opening chords of your and Bruce’s song came through the speakers. It would be more accurate to state that you’d unilaterally declared it your and Bruce’s song. During your second year of dating you had slowly begun introducing him to the world of romcoms. One particularly chilly fall day that year saw Bruce catching a cold. You took advantage of that to force him into a binge of some of the best and cringiest of your favourites from the 2000’s. Two particular movies seemed to make the notoriously stoic Bruce Wayne emotional. The obvious one being ‘Two Weeks Notice’, but it was the Hugh Grant, Drew Barrymore semi-musical ‘Music & Lyrics’ that would produce the perfect song for your and Bruce’s life together.
As the sounds of Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore came through the speaker you began to sing in earnest.
‘I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on’
Your mind drifted to how you and Bruce met. Recently heartbroken and determined never to let another man hurt you, you’d sworn of men and decided to dedicate all your attention to advancing at work. Your first steps were taking the assignment no one else wanted to touch with a ten foot pole. Being Bruce Wayne’s personal assistant. Those who succeeded at such a gargantuan undertaken seemed to excel through the ranks at Wayne Enterprises, but those who fell short well, you’d heard his last personal assistant had moved back home to small town Kansas and given up the corporate ladder completely.
Your first week had been a cake walk, seeing as Bruce had been away on business meetings in Europe. It’d given you time to get settled in and a system in place. You were determined to be the best personal assistant he’d ever had.
Upon Bruce’s first day back in the office, you’d mustered up all the courage you had and waltz into his office. With barely a good morning you’d launched into a tirade of how things were going to be and that unlike his past assistants you were going to set boundaries. He’d blinked at you slowly, and you were convinced you were about to be fired. His mouth opened and the word okay seemed to unintentionally fall out. You both stood there a moment, seemingly shell shocked at the interaction, before you gathered your wits. With a pivot of your heels you rushed out your own okay before returning to your desk.
Unbeknownst to you Bruce himself had been going through a touch of heartbreak, having had a fall out with his former paramour Selina. His accounts of your first meeting paint you in a much fiercer, more beautiful light. But you’re sure he’s simply remembering the day with rose tinted glasses seeing as you had a poorly concealed coffee stain on your blouse and your hair had definitely begun its escape from the clip you’d rushed it into on the train that morning. Nevertheless he claims it was your fierce determination that stunned him into submission and not his utter exhaustion from sleep deprivation.
‘I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need ‘em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind’
The weeks following your initial meeting were a full of meetings, calls and insuring your boss took proper care of himself. It took exactly three days for you to realize he’d forget to eat, four to realize he seemed to not be sleeping either.
You quietly placed a standing order with the sandwich place down a couple blocks from the building, and then methodically went through Bruce’s calendar and put a two hour meeting blackout everyday around 2pm. You’d also had the couch that sat on the wall just outside his office doors moved into his office proper. The next day you simply waltzed into his office at noon and dropped the sandwich on his desk before returning to your own desk. Two hours later you waltzed in dropping a pillow and blanket on the couch and closed the blinds without a word. As you turned to leave Bruce questioned what you were doing. You simply informed him that you’d place a permanent daily block on meetings between 2pm-4pm and that his office doors would be locked for that period of time as well.
When asked, Bruce will claim that as the day he fell in love with you.
You continued on that way for months, the world seeming to move in a blur around you. Your friends encouraged you to start dating again, but you just weren’t sure you could ever trust a man again. Besides, work was so exhausting most days that you were certain you’d simply pass out at the restaurant if you did go on a date. What a terrible first impression that would make.
It was a seemingly unremarkable Tuesday morning when the world came screaming into focus again.
‘All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh’
You’d been tutting about the office while Bruce attended a meeting with Lucius in the lower levels of Wayne Enterprises. You had just started printing off a report for Bruce’s next meeting when your printer ran out of paper. Normally this would be a none issue, except for reasons unknown to you, the night cleaner had developed a habit of putting the box of printer paper on top of the bookcase in the corner. A bookcase that stood nearly three heads taller than you. He’d been doing it for weeks despite your many conversations with him about it. You had tried bringing it up to Bruce, but he just blamed it on the language barrier and claimed it as a non-issue since he could just grab it for you.
It was just your luck that the printer would run out when Bruce was in the midst of a meeting and wouldn’t be back for at least another hour, probably two seeing as his meetings with Lucius always seemed to go over their allotted time slot. You’d been certain the office would have a step ladder hidden around somewhere, but after nearly twenty minutes of searching and being put on hold with maintenance, you’d given up. You could just wait till Bruce returned, but you had only printed half of the first of ten copies of a 40 page report that was required for his next meeting. You’d begun cursing everyone from the night cleaner for his obsession with moving the paper to the head of marketing and research’s assistants for not sending the reports yesterday when you’d requested them. Difficult problems required creative solutions, however the only thing you had that was light enough to drag over to the bookcase while giving you enough height to grab a ream of paper was your office chair. As the head of the companies employee safety committee you knew this was a terrible idea, as Bruce Wayne’s golden assistant the risk of letting your boss down for the first time ever outweighed the risk to your personal safety.
Even with the chair you needed to climb the bookshelf to actually reach the shelf the paper was on. Ream firmly in your grasp you moved to step back into the chair. As your foot touched the chair your hand slipped from the shelf and you felt yourself go backwards. You closed your eyes and braced for impact but it never came. Instead you felt arms wrap around your back and hip, securing you to a firm chest. You opened your eyes coming face to face with Bruce. Had his eyes always been that blue?
“What the hell were you doing.” He was angry, his blue eyes tightening with worry. A warmth flitted through you at the thought that he cared about your safety.
“Grabbing the printer paper.” You gasped out, bending to grab the ream that had fallen to the ground when you’d lost your grip.
“You could have injured yourself if I hadn’t shown up in time.” Bruce was still in your personal space and it was starting to overwhelm you. ‘Had he always been this… large?’ He seemed to tower over you.
“Yes, well I wouldn’t have needed to do all that if the cleaner would stop placing my printer paper up there.” You’d stepped back from Bruce, needing something to keep you from ogling your boss, you began fiddling with the printer.
“You could have waited for me.” He got in your space again, his voice softer now as he took the paper from your shaking hands.
“Do you understand how ridiculous it is to have to wait for the CEO of the company just to load a ream of paper into my printer?” You huffed out, turning back towards him now. The two stood there, chest to chest just staring at each other. You didn’t want to be the one to back down first, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep from blushing while staring into to his eyes.
‘What was with you today? You’d never had a problem going toe to toe with Bruce before. Now suddenly your acting like a horny school girl, daydreaming about climbing this man like-
“Fine.” Bruce stalked off to his office, an indiscernible glower on his face, leaving you to ponder what the hell had just happened. And why you seemingly out of nowhere had very inappropriate thoughts about your boss.
That night marked the first of many failed blind dates, agreed to only after having decided that it was your lack of a love life that had you daydreaming about your boss.
The next morning the box of paper was on the bottom shelf of the bookcase.
‘I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s gotta be something for my soul somewhere’
Things between you and Bruce changed after that day. You’d never realized how comfortable you two had become with one another until you suddenly weren’t. You’d taken to communicating with him almost exclusively through emails and his calendar due to how awkward everything had become. He’d try to ask you about your life and you’d just clam up, not wanting to tell the object of your recurring lusty dreams about your string of failed dates. Failed because after less than two minutes you’d start comparing all of them to Bruce. The whole thing was getting so out of hand, you’d started seriously contemplating putting in for a transfer.
You’d been so lost in thought it took Bruce loudly clearing his throat for you to notice him standing in front of your desk.
“Yes, Mr. Wayne?” You’d resolved that complete professionalism was the only sure way to put everything back to normal. Or at least it will hopefully allow you to cling to some semblance of normal until you stop chickening out and put in for reassignment.
“I was wondering,” he seemed nervous, fidgeting with the snow globe I kept on the edge of my desk. “Do you have a date to the Christmas Gala?” Oh. He’s not? Is he? He couldn’t possibly-“I was just thinking if you didn’t have one, we could go together.” He was- “just as friends. We are friends aren’t we?” n’t.
“Yes, Mr. Wayne I suppose I’ve come to regard you as a” the word friend seemed to catch in your throat “friend over these last few months. But, to be quite honest with you, I wasn’t planning on attending the Christmas Gala.”
“You have too. In fact, I’m making it a mandatory requirement of your job that you have to be there. I’ll pick you up at 7pm.” He didn’t even give you time to respond before waltzing back into his office. It took all of 30 seconds for you to follow after him.
“You cannot force me to go to the gala Mr.Wayne.” You’d stopped in front of his desk, arms crossed over your chest.
“Why not?” He leaned back in his chair, smug smile glued to his face.
“Because I’m a human being with free will and, according to the Wayne Enterprises Employee Handbook, attempting to force me to attend would constitute harassment.” The smile slowly dropped from his face as he rose from his chair.
“If you truly don’t want to attend, I won’t push the matter.” He took slow, deliberate steps towards you, halting just far enough to be considered proper, but still close enough for you to catch the scent of his cologne. “However, it’d mean a lot to me if you did attend.” You’d been so distracted by his eyes and the seemingly sincere look on his face that you hadn’t even noticed he’d reached for your hand. You stood there utterly unmoored by the events of the past few minutes. You mentally shook your self out and opened your mouth to once again decline his invitation.
“Okay.” You were stunned with utter disbelief at the disconnect between your brain and your mouth. Bruce smirked.
“Perfect, like I said early I’ll pick you up around 7pm. If we’re going together, I really should match my tie to your dress. What colour is it going to be?” He’d started heading back to his desk.
“Mint.” You mumbled out. If you were going to be photographed on Bruce Waynes arm, even as just a friend, there was only one dress in your wardrobe that was even close to passable. Turns out you would get a second wear out of the bridesmaids dress from your sister’s wedding.
‘I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions’
The Christmas Gala was a disaster. The gala itself was wonderful, decorated to the nines, wonderful little hors d’oeuvres being passed around on trays that looked suspiciously like real silver. You however were a disaster. After entering the gala on Bruces arm, to the flash of what seemed like a million cameras, you’d been immediately pulled away to solve a crisis for the marketing assistants. The crisis turned out to be nothing more than a minor tear in her dress. One strategically placed safety pin later and you found yourself in the midst of the gala uncertain where Bruce had wandered off too.
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing standing alone?” Oliver Queen. You’d had several run ins with him whilst working for Bruce.
“Oliver, not that it’s any of your business but I’m looking for Bruce.” You didn’t even bother glancing at him, lest you encourage his flirtations. “You haven’t seen him recently, have you?”
“Does Brucie really have you working on Christmas? He truly has no shame. If you were working for me-“ You cut him off before he could descend into what was sure to be a thinly veiled innuendo.
“We’ve talked about this Oliver. I’m not interested in you, professionally or personally.” You levelled your iciest look at him.
“Sheesh, can’t even give a guy a shot in the spirit of Christmas?” You harden your glare. “Fine, fine. I can take a hint sometimes.” He raised his hands in surrender before placing them on your shoulders turning you in a full 180. “Your beloved Brucie is right there, and it seems he’s decided to use the spirit of the season to rekindle an old flame.” You were met with the sight of Bruce and Selina Kyle in an arch way locked in a kiss.
“Oh.” Logically you knew you had no right to be upset. Bruce had made it abundantly clear the two of you were just friends. But if that were true, why did this feel so much worse than any breakup you’d gone through in your near 25 years of life. ��Excuse me, I need to- I should check- I…” You left Oliver standing there as you rushed from the ballroom.
‘All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end’
You wrote your two week notice on the train ride back to your apartment. You were sure you looked quite the sight, shivering in your evening dress, makeup running down your face from the tears you couldn’t hold back. It took an hour longer than normal to reach your corner of Gotham, it gave you time to compartmentalize. Due to the Holidays you’d only have to work out one week of your two weeks notice, but that was still one week of having to see the man who had unintentionally shattered your heart. The worst part is you couldn’t even be mad at him. He’d done nothing to lead you on or imply that you were anything more than friends. You’d simply allowed your imagination to get the better of you and now here you were crying because you’d broken your own heart. You were so lost in your own heartbreak you failed to notice the man standing outside your apartment building until you literally walked into him.
“I’m so sor-“ you began to tumble out an apology as you lifted your eyes to the face of the torso you’d just slammed into, only to be met with achingly familiar blue eyes. “Bruce?”
“You left.” He looked upset, almost as if he were the one heartbroken. “You didn’t even say goo- Have you been crying?” His hand lifts to your face, thumb trailing under your eye. You have to repress a shudder at the feeling of his warm hand on your cold cheek. “Was it Queen? Did he say something again? I’ll have him bared from the building.” You step out of Bruce’s embrace.
“No, it wasn’t Oliver Mr.Wayne.” Professionalism, detachment, that was the only way you were going to get through this final encounter with the man you’d come to love. “It was a personal matter and it’s been handled. But since you’re here I might as well do this face to face. I’m resigning from my position as your personal assistant effective immediately. I’ve already emailed HR and-“
“No.”
“No? This isn’t a yes or no, situation Mr. Wayne. I’m not asking your permission, I’m telling you. I quit.” You’re astonished at the level of strength in your own voice.
“No, you don’t. And while we’re at it you’ll stop with this Mr.Wayne nonsense and go back to calling me Bruce.” He’s agitated now, angry at you.
“Mr. Wayne once again it’s not up to you. I’ve already sent my notice to HR, and accepted a new position elsewhere.” A small lie, but a seemingly necessary one seeing how hard of a time Bruce seems to be having with grasping the concept of your departure from his life.
“Then I’ll buy this new company you work for.” He’s invaded your personal bubble once more.
“Mr. Wayne you can’t just buy a corporation to stop me from quitting.”
“Bruce, and yes I can. I’m a billionaire if you’ve forgotten.” You’re nearly chest to chest at this point. “If this personal matter is the reason you’re quitting, then let me help. I’m sure with your brains and my money we can figure out a solut-“
“I’m in love with you, you idiot.” You push at his chest, anger fuelling your every movement now. “I’m in love with you and I didn’t relish the thought of having to sit in that office day after day watching you moon over Seli-“ He’s kissing you. Bruce Wayne is kissing you. Your to stunned to do anything other than let him.
‘There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation’
When he’d finally pulled away, self satisfied look on his face, you began to berate him. It was his turn to be stunned into silence while you cursed him out in the middle of the street (unbeknownst to either of you, one of the teens from your apartment block filmed the whole thing. It went viral by morning and Wayne Enterprises PR team had to work overtime to spin it in the companies favour). It would take the better part of a week for him to convince you that what’d you seen was Selina’s last ditch attempt at winning him back. It’d taken him another two months of failed wooing attempts to finally get you to agree to be his girlfriend.
‘All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end’
The song fades out and your left standing in the middle of your kitchen lost in thought when a gentle chuckle penetrates your subconscious. You whirl around to find Bruce leaned against the entryway, smile lighting up his face.
“How long have you been standing there?” You could feel a blush beginning to bloom across your cheeks.
“Does it matter?” He advances on you, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“Yes, I need to gauge how embarrassed I should be.” You sink into his embrace, wrapping your own arms around his neck. He bends down and plants a gentle kiss on your lips.
“What were you thinking so intently about?” He gently sweeps an errant strand of hair behind your ear. It was your turn to plant a distracting kiss on Bruce’s lips, the last thing you needed was to inflate his ego. “Ah, so you were thinking about me.” He smirks when you break for air.
“I was not.” Your blush deepens, as if thinking about your husband was the most scandalous thing in the world.
“Mom’s always thinking about you. It’s kinda gross actually.” Jason sat atop your counter eating a cinnamon bun. “What do you even see in the old man anyway? You’re young, attractive and funny. You could do a lot better than Bruce.”
“Off my counter.” You pulled out of Bruce’s embrace to admonish your son. “And put that down, those are for brunch.” You swat his hand away from the fruit tray. He hops off the counter planting a kiss to your check, as he grabs the fruit tray and starts carrying it to the table in the adjacent dinning room.
“It is brunch though mother.” You startle a bit at the sound of Damians voice coming from beside you, nearly 15 years in and you still got startled by the way they all seemed to move in utter silence popping up from seemingly nowhere. At 5’4” your youngest was nearly eye to eye with you, a few more years and he’d tower over you like his brothers.
“Did you all collectively wake up and decided today was the day to disregard all of mom’s rules?” You move to turn off the speaker, mourning your few hours of peace and beginning to mentally prep for the chaos of having all 7 of the Wayne children in one dinning room. “Tim you better be putting that coffee into a cup.” You had a sixth sense for Tim’s caffeine habit and, unbeknownst to him, had been taking steps to curb it. Your most recent ingenious plan was slowly mixing decaf into the regular coffee. Your current batch of grounds was 60% decaf and only 40% caffeinated.
“Of course mom. I wouldn’t dream of breaking your rules.”
“Bullshit.” You whisper under your breath. “Aren’t you all currently breaking rule number 3?” The boys had the decency to at least feigen sheepishness.
“But it is brunch.” Duke, Stephanie and Cas shuffle into the kitchen together.
“Technically the wording of the rule does state that we’re not supposed to enter the kitchen until after brunch, which is why I entered the dining room through the hallway.” Richard leaned his head through the entryway between the two rooms.
“We get it, your mom’s favourite little suck up.” Jason slaps the back of Richards head on his way back into the kitchen. He loads his arms with various platters from the counter before turning back to his siblings. “Well come on half-wits, if you’re gonna break mom’s rules might as well make ourselves useful.”
“Jason, don’t hit your brother.” Your admonishment is half hearted at best, knowing full well your second eldest was likely to simply pretend to listen, while waiting till you turned your back to strike his older brother once again. “And Richard don’t even think about retaliating while he’s holding those platters.” You lean against the back counter running a hand through your hair, releasing it from its haphazard bun. You watch the other kids with the eyes of a well seasoned mother, fear for your antique dish-ware seizing you. You really should just invest in plastic dish-ware at this point, or perhaps you can commission Lucius to develop a line of indestructible dish-ware. There has to be a market for that, right?
Bruce comes to stand beside you, placing a mug of tea in your hands. You lean your head against his shoulder, a content sigh leaving your lips.
“No regrets?” He asks, as the sound of a squabble erupt from the dinning room.
“Not a one.” You smile. No, you wouldn’t trade this for anything. CRASH Okay, maybe you’d trade out whichever child just broke- CRASH - TWO plates. “Boys what did I just say about fighting with my antiques in your hands!”
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afeelgoodblog · 1 year ago
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The Best News of Last Week - June 26, 2023
1. California's Lake Oroville now at 100% capacity following megadrought; 1st time since 2019
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Once a stark example of the drastic effects of California's yearslong megadrought, Lake Oroville has rebounded and is once again filled to capacity, data from the state's Department of Water Resources shows.
Lake Oroville, the state's most beleaguered and second-largest reservoir, is at 100% of its total capacity and 127% of where it should be around this time of year - a huge boost after the climate-change-fueled megadrought sucked away nearly all its water supply.
2. Blue whales are thriving in California waters – the story of their amazing comeback
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If you’ve recently taken a Southern California whale-watching tour, you may have been lucky enough to come across earth’s largest animal. Pacific blue whales grow up to 110 feet long and can reach a weight of 200 tons. Decades ago, blue whales were nearly hunted to extinction, and although still listed as protected under the Endangered Species Act, marine biologists and researchers are heralding a “conservation success story,” unlike any other.
According to a study published in 2014 by researchers at the University of Washington, the West Coast blue whale population has bounced back at tremendous levels, recouping 97% of its pre-whaling population
3. Newborn left in Florida Safe Haven Baby Box adopted by the firefighter who found her
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Zoey is now 5 months old. Courtesy Zoey's family
A firefighter in Ocala, Florida, was pulling an overnight shift at the station in January when he was awakened at 2 a.m. by an alarm. He recognized the sound immediately. A newborn had been placed in the building’s Safe Haven Baby Box, a device that allows someone to safely and anonymously surrender a child — no questions asked.
“To be honest, I thought it was a false alarm,” said the firefighter, who wished to remain anonymous to protect his family’s privacy. But when he opened the box, he discovered a healthy infant wrapped in a pink blanket.
That baby would become his daughter, Zoey.
4. Iceland suspends whale hunt on animal welfare concerns
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Iceland's government said Tuesday it was suspending this year's whale hunt until the end of August due to animal welfare concerns, likely bringing the controversial practice to a historic end.
"I have taken the decision to suspend whaling" until August 31, Food Minister Svandis Svavarsdottir said in a statement. The country's last remaining whaling company, Hvalur, had previously said this would be its final season as the hunt has become less profitable.
5. He wanted to pet dogs for his 100th birthday. Hundreds lined up.
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Alison Moore had a unique idea to celebrate her father's 100th birthday: a pet parade filled with as many dogs as possible. Her father, Robert Moore, has always adored dogs and wanted to pet every one he saw. So, Alison took to social media and invited the community to join in the festivities. Little did she know that over 200 dogs and their owners would gather for the heartwarming event.
The parade brought immense joy not only to Robert but also to attendees like Rodger, who has Alzheimer's disease, and his daughter Denise, who hadn't seen her father smile so much in a long time. It was a day filled with wagging tails, smiling faces, and love that made Robert's milestone birthday an unforgettable celebration.
6. Historic decision: Estonia legalizes same-sex marriage
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Tuesday, the Estonian government has survived a vote of no confidence in the Riigikogu tied to amendments to the Family Law Act and related legislation, which is granting same-sex couples the legal right to wed. 55 members of the Riigikogu voted in favor of the measure, while 34 voted against.
It is proposed that the institution of marriage, as defined by family law, be modified so that  any two natural persons of legal age, regardless of gender, may marry. The words "man and woman" will be replaced with the words "two natural persons."
7. US approves chicken made from cultivated cells, the nation's first 'lab-grown' meat
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For the first time, U.S. regulators on Wednesday approved the sale of chicken made from animal cells, allowing two California companies to offer “lab-grown” meat to the nation’s restaurant tables and eventually, supermarket shelves.
The Agriculture Department gave the green light to Upside Foods and Good Meat, firms that had been racing to be the first in the U.S. to sell meat that doesn’t come from slaughtered animals — what’s now being referred to as “cell-cultivated” or “cultured” meat as it emerges from the laboratory and arrives on dinner plates.
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chameleonwritess · 6 days ago
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Incoming essay about Yuzuru Fushimi and why I believe he is the least normal Ensemble Stars character
Before we begin, I’d like to thank @normalestenstars both for giving me the motivation to actually write this at last, and for the polls that have allowed me to ponder over the normality of each enstars character, along with how normality would even be gauged. I’m aware that the concept will have differed from person to person, and so I’ll attempt to explain my metric of normality in order to explain why, say, Kanata, Wataru, or HiMERU aren’t my ‘least normal’ character (okay, what is it with blue hair and insanity in enstars, bc Tatsumi is kinda making the most insane list too). I'll also put the essay under the cut because... it got long. But if you wanna learn about Yuzuru, you came to the right place!
I was judging normality to be a combination of life experiences through from childhood to adulthood, behaviour, current responsibilities and activities, ways of reacting to situations, ways of interacting with the world, mental headspace and its subsequent projections, and any juxtapositions between those- particularly with regards to internal and external worlds of a character (this might not make any sense… it made sense to me but I’m hardly a most normal character myself).
First up, as Kanata was dubbed the audience voted least normal, I’ll touch  briefly on which specific aspect differed here between Kanata and Yuzuru that made me choose Yuzuru over Kanata. Both by the general audience and by the characters within the world of Ensemble Stars, Kanata is perceived as weird and strange, and his backstory explains that weirdness very well… perfectly well, basically. Of course he’s weird and outlandish given he grew up believing he was a living god. Meanwhile, Yuzuru is deemed as pretty normal by both characters and the general audience. At least on the surface! The amount of enstars fans I’ve heard call Yuzuru boring just confirms this, really. Who would ever dream of calling Kanata boring? But the characters who know Yuzuru better, or for those who finally get to interact with him more than very surface level, they suddenly uncover that oh shit hang on this guy is TERRIFYING and INSANE and what the actual FUCK IS GOING ON??? (See: Resort Live when Adonis is in the water and when Yuzuru dives to fetch him he felt like he was being followed by a wild carnivore and was confused as to how the hell Yuzuru had hidden that kind of aura up until now). Love how I said brief and then reached this length BUT essentially it’s the juxtaposition of Yuzuru’s external perception versus his actual reality that puts him on top of the weirdness ladder for me. Kanata’s weirdness is very in line with his history, giving him an aspect of normality, or at least expectedness, in my opinion (I’m in no way denying that Kanata is NOT NORMAL, though, don’t worry. My only actual denial of any not normal allocations is Wataru… but we’ll get to that in another essay xoxo)
RIGHT now let’s start with the Yuzuru focus. We’re gonna go back to his past to begin with. And no, I don’t mean the military camp, actually (although the very fact I just said those words should hopefully be clueing you in to Yuzuru’s abnormality). I’ll leave a list at the end of this of all the stories I got my facts from, as well as some key Yuzuru focussed readings if you want to learn more hehe. Saying that, I talk about Yuzuru’s past pre-military because it starts off as a wild backstory even before we get to the slightly more unhinged stuff. He was born into a family of butlers, and thus was fated to work for the Himemiyas and serve them… WHAT???? Yuzuru’s family are essentially slaves, and we know next to nothing about his parents. So many enstars characters are highlighted for having abusive families as an aspect of their abnormality and the weirdness with which they were raised, but yuzuru never gets brought up amongst those. How does this scenario even happen in the modern world???? I am SO CONFUSED and we have basically no answers. Does Yuzuru get paid?????? He’s been a butler since he was BORN so… probably not?? Is he essentially a slave???????? I suspect maybe!! We already know the Himemiyas are NOT EXACTLY THE EPITOME OF MORAL CORRECTNESS (see: they run an orphanage that filters into a fucking military training facility) so I would not put it past them. So- backstory and utter weird environment to be raised in? CHECK!!!! Yuzuru might have been raised in the weirdest environment out of all enstars characters except perhaps Kanata. Or joint weirdest WITH Kanata!! He grew up being trained to be perfect and to be entirely subservient. He had no interaction with peers, no downtime, doesn’t even have his own house given he lives at the Himemiya’s mansion. It’s absolutely insane if you stop and think about it for more than five seconds, and no one ever seems to talk about it??? Yuzuru Fushimi, man.
And we don’t know much about Yuzuru during this time (probably for good reason- he is cagey about anything that makes it look like he doesn’t enjoy his role and boy does this time include those feelings!), but we do know from Tori that he was not naturally talented at being a butler, would make loads of mistakes, and would hide in the shadows and cry over it. Yuzuru was just a KID. He’s only one year older than Tori, but he was expected to perfectly master pretty much every skill ever. He’s way too over-competent at seemingly everything, and as easy as that is to attribute to the military training…. a lot of stuff doesn’t make sense for that. He was trained to do e v e r y t h i n g. Child abuse, yay!! That’s essentially what it is when you think about it!! Were his parents trapped like this too?? How did his parents meet?? Are they the ones trapping him in this role, or is it the Himemiyas??? Because Yuzuru certainly seems to believe that his parents hold the authority, but idk how much of that is a biased perspective from what Yuzuru saw and knew as a child.
Okay. I think I’ve set the scene for why Yuzuru is insane and weird as fuck. I’d also like to give a brief breather from the agonising lore (bc it’s military time next) to let you all know that I’m writing this whilst desperately smacking auto-live bc I’m grinding for Ghostic Treat House Yuzuru <3 fine I love you <3
That’s all the reprise you get, trauma time again! So, you’re probably aware if you only watched the enstars anime to gain familiarity with ! era lore that Yuzuru spent time at a military facility with his good childhood friend Ibara (he would stab me for saying that lol). But that’s not all! So yes, Yuzuru was sent to the Himemiya’s military facility, where they were actually trained for wars, given the Himemiya’s army are actively fighting ppl during the events of Primavera (lol so much for me saving references to the end). Did Ibara and Yuzuru actually see the battlefield? Textual evidence would suggest perhaps, because Ibara mentions it being funny how a man who can face enemy forces alone is afraid of dogs. But that could be a metaphor and it may have just been training. Either way, definitely had to learn battle relevant skills and were given brutal training. But that’s still not all! From what we can gather from Yuzuru’s internal musings (although he is a somewhat unreliable narrator like 50% of the time tbh), he was sent to the military facility to learn better discipline so he’d stop acting up and play the role of a butler properly. This, combined with the crying when he messed up, gives two plausible reasons for him being sent. 1. he was considered too incompetent and the military was supposed to train him to be more competent as a butler, or 2. he was acting out big style and they wanted to quite literally beat him into submission so he’d treat his role more seriously. There is a scarier third possibility here, but that’s coming hehe don’t worry (: 
What happened when Yuzuru got to the military? Because so far yeah this is a wild situation but it doesn’t highlight Yuzuru’s utter insanity quite as well as I advertised. Ohohoho, don’t worry. Yuzuru was somehow so naturally gifted at being in the fucking military (whilst not being naturally gifted at being a butler, I remind you all!!) that he rose up to leadership and became an instructor IMMEDIATELY. He was in charge of Ibara, and assumably other people too, despite being the same age as him (and quite probably younger than others). Is it possible he rose through the ranks because of his status? No not really. He’s a butler to the Himemiyas, not an actual family member!! And he’s essentially been cast out by them, so why would they care?? It’s also implied and makes all Yuzuru lore add up if he was just… incredibly and terrifyingly talented with weaponry, fighting, tactics, etc etc don’t ask me what military things are important i don’t know. So I’m choosing to believe that the lore all checks out and that Yuzuru was made an instructor because he was freakishly good. Now about his role as an instructor!! 
Most of our info does come from Ibara which is… likely to be negatively biased, but we also have actual flashback scenes which legitimately support Ibara’s perception. Which was, in short, that Yuzuru’s training was spartan. He was harsh and ruthless and ruled with an iron fist… but he also genuinely cared about his pupils (and again, we infer that he had multiple bc he calls Ibara his favourite pupil. Although funny if he’s his fave by default lmao). The military is also the first time Yuzuru gets the chance to be a kid, which is ironic given he is AN INSTRUCTOR IN THE MILITARY. But he gets the chance to sit and talk with Ibara in between training and attempting to murder each other (which is like the closest thing to playing tag that Yuzuru has ever participated in, I reckon). I could write a separate essay about how important Ibara and Yuzuru are to each other, but that’s for another day (pls pls pls ask me to write it pls i just need the excuse). 
We find out some interesting things from Yuzuru’s conversations with Ibara. He hopes to die on the battlefield to show his parents (haha remember that scary third option…. what if this was their plan HAHAHAH). He wants to die out of spite, and he wants to die for the freedom. He hopes he never has to return and be a butler again. He feels free at the military camp, which is ironic given the intent was to trap him there to teach him a lesson. It’s also ironic, given both Ibara and Yuzuru refer to the training camp as an awful, horrible place. 
That definitely isn’t the end of me talking about Yuzuru and military experience, but it is the end of it in this linear fashion I’m taking to explain why Yuzuru is so fucked up and weird and insane.
So, he returns from the military! Read: he is forcibly taken back to the Himemiya mansion. And when he returns, Tori cries and hugs him and begs him to never leave again because he was so lonely without Yuzuru and scared etc etc. And we know that Yuzuru looked at him crying and decided that actually, this was something worth treasuring and putting his life towards. Tori was worth serving- he cared about Tori and wanted to protect him, and he had the abilities now (and probably always) to do exactly that. Was this inspired by Ibara saying he just wanted something to treasure and dedicate his life towards keeping/obtaining? Yep!!! Same story!!! Yuzuru took Ibara’s goal and went ‘snatched, mine now’ but fr… they had such an impact on each other. So, Yuzuru is ‘happily’ being a butler now. In other words, he’s taking his fate and making it his decision, as much as he can (or probably to convince himself hmmm). But where’s the insanity here, before we reach idol time? Well, here we discover that Yuzuru contemplates murdering Tori multiple times!! As a means of escape? As a reflexive urge to kill that he’s developed/been suppressing all along? Who knows! I still can’t quite believe that this is even canon but yeah!!! It’s not always a joke when Yuzuru says scary things to Tori and threatens him with weapons! He has legitimately contemplated murdering him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yuzuru Fucking Fushimi, folks!!!!!!!!
This section is also where I’d like to discuss Yuzuru’s fear of dogs, because he also had to acquaint himself with King (Tori’s dog) during these years. Do you know the reason why Yuzuru’s afraid of dogs? I hear you ask, because I am inside your walls rn. Was there an incident? At the Himemiya’s? At the military camp? No!!! Tori says he’s literally always been afraid of dogs, and Yuzuru confirms this and gives us an explanation as to why! He says that dogs are inherently ferocious hunters- killers at heart- and yet they wear an innocent, harmless mask of being ‘man’s best friend’, covering up the human lives they have taken and are easily capable of taking at the smallest provocation. He fears dogs because he fears their true nature that they’re hiding behind their perceived harmlessness. They’ve masked their bloodlust with domestic obedience- a facade many dogs have tricked themselves into understanding as reality. When I thought about Yuzuru’s explanation for about five minutes before I started this essay, it suddenly slid into place in a way I’d never studied Yuzuru’s fear of dogs before.
Yuzuru fears himself. This checks out with the dog metaphors he makes of himself, of Ibara, that Ibara makes about Yuzuru and of himself. Obedient lapdog, untrained mutt, guard dog etc. etc. The parallels were right there. Yuzuru is an obedient lapdog for Tori… but he’s a predator by nature. A born killing machine whom everyone trusts without hesitation because of the loyal and obedient facade he parades, convincing even himself is reality. Yuzuru is afraid of the hunter he is and when his true nature might escape. I don’t read it as a ‘being afraid of when others will find out that he’s secretly evil’ sort of situation. More a ‘being afraid of when he won’t be able to stop himself & the mask will disintegrate forever and reveal the hunter within. Being afraid of when he might attack’. Ouch. Yuzuru can I give you therapy pls I’m begging. ANYWAY Tori then gets into idols and Yuzuru is dragged along to fine shows, and when Eichi sees him in the audience (ignoring the fact that his first thought is ‘damn that bitch fine as fuck, i love a guy with blue hair purple eyes and a ponytail, smash’), he says Yuzuru looks wild and rugged (i’m going off memory I cba getting Daydream up just trust xoxo), which is interesting given he’s trying his best to be a loyal butler right now. He’s not quite mastered the mask at this point, I suspect. Other things we know from this era are that Yuzuru helped sneak Tori out to go to karaoke as idol practice. I wonder how he felt getting to sing and dance for the first time.
Fun fact in case you hadn’t noticed by now- I’m not very good at staying on topic bc I loooove to go on random tangents of character analysis. I swear this is still about how Yuzuru is the weirdest enstars character… somehow….
So! We’ve finally reached canon timeline in the chronological part of this essay (HOW LONG IS THIS THING GONNA BE?? I hear you worry because, once again, i am in your walls). Yuzuru joins fine yayyy and he’s a transfer student to Yumenosaki given he’s just following Tori. So… did he even go to school before??? Given he has to follow Tori??? Did he take a year out? I’’m so curious as to Yuzuru’s history because how tf did his childhood work? He passes the fine test easily bc turns out he’s also very naturally talented as an idol. He’s very physically fit so it’s unsurprising. What’s sooo fun to know about his joining fine, though, is that he immediately knows exactly what Eichi is like, immediately gets links with the StuCo and joins Keito’s club to get In There with the top people (networking innit and also… club with bow and arrows. Tsukasa confirms he’s freakishly good wow who would’ve guessed Yuzuru would be so naturally talented with a weapon), and apparently immediately developed an escape plan for him and Tori so that if Eichi ever tried to destroy them, he could take Tori and dip. I wonder if that escape plan is still in place, now! Anyway, we also learn in this era that Yuzuru starts to love being an idol and finds he’s genuinely enjoying it. However, the reasons he’s enjoying it are… not exactly normal. He loves being an idol because he’s surprised that it’s able to spur the human emotions of anger and frustration within him (basically, he’s surprised that being an idol brought out his painstakingly buried emotions). We also learn that he’s extremely envious that Tori and Eichi were able to escape their fates laid out by their parents to pursue being idols, but he immediately tries to suppress thoughts like this. The difference between having money and not, huh? Tori and Eichi could escape. Yuzuru was always going to be trapped :( Yuzuru also starts to experience having friends for the first time (does Ibara count as a friend?? It was way wilder and more insane than that) so essentially Yuzuru’s first ever experience of normal teenager things is when he is 16/17. But at least he gets to have a pillow fight and absolutely destroy everyone! And get yelled at by a teacher!! Proud of him for having fun. 
This era is also where we get Yuzuru completely lying to himself, us, and his peers. Everyone is quite conscious of getting Yuzuru to enjoy his life outside of being Tori’s butler, and he’s very much manipulated everyone (including the audience even though we can compile the evidence to discover otherwise) into believing that he’s always been such a loyal and simple butler with no thoughts of his own aside from those that are wishes to serve his master. We know this isn’t true… and yet Yuzuru tries to convince us and everyone in the story that this is reality, to the point that we get people being proud of Yuzuru for coming so far. We get Tori being proud of him! And feeling guilty for him always sacrificing his life for him. Ugh I love Tori actually. The second I started reading stories about Tori and Yuzuru it hit how much guilt Tori has over Yuzuru’s fate and AGHHHH oops I got sidetracked again. Anyway. Yuzuru’s an unreliable narrator and that’s important to his weirdness, because he hides his true utter insanity from even us as the audience!! He lies to himself, to us, to his peers, everyone!!! You cannot fool me, Yuzuru Fushimi. I see through you. I’ve figured out your utter unhingedness. The complete juxtaposition between the very ordinary bland background character you depict yourself as versus the utter fucking WEIRDO that you actually are <3
Moving onto !! era, Yuzuru introduces himself in the main story by being INSANE and everyone seems to forget about it? The first thing he does is discuss how beneficial it is to show up first to important events and prepare the drinks because you gain the upper hand of knowing you could’ve poisoned them and everyone knows you could have, but that he’d never do that because everyone would indeed know it was him. And that’s one of the joys of being a butler! HELLO??? YUZURU WTF BABE????? But that’s always just glanced over. Also there’s the whole insanity of Eichi reminding us that Ibara is the only person whom Yuzuru shows this other side of himself around, and by that we mean the side where he… openly threatens extreme physical violence. Also frontline watchdogs happens. And we learn that Yuzuru still very obviously cares about Ibara gahhh. Anyway, back to insanity time, Wataei are kinda mean to Yuzuru in this era, because they do end up toying with him quite a bit, and we get a lot of Yuzuru dealing with thoughts regarding the Himemiyas and the impact of ES and stuff, because he can’t even just be an idol, he’s also essentially in charge of Tori’s responsibilities until Tori is ready, AND he’s becoming an actor because wow how surprising he’s really good at fighting roles and getting into character (sarcasm, bc… it is not surprising. hey who wants to hear me scream into a forest about wataru and yuzuru and facades it’ll be super fun I promise). Other insane stuff includes the time Yuzuru thinks Ibara is holding Tori hostage so he walks into a room and straight up STRANGLES IBARA because he knows how Ibara responds to being tortured for info so knows he’ll get the truth here. He also proceeds to reveal he’s learnt vocal mimicry from Wataru and will fuck shit up if Ibara tries anything using that trick (how did he learn that???? Plus Wataru is cagey about teaching new skills so it is either an omg yay wataru and yuzuru getting close moment or a…. yuzuru did you just analyse his ability and somehow replicate it??). Also in this era, we learn that Yuzuru accompanies Eichi with a lot of business related things, because of course he gets to be involved in the big ES happenings, and that he’s become wayyy more petty and rude to Eichi. It’s a big step for Yuzuru, who’s been forced to be so polite to his superiors. Like can you believe it. The Himemiyas’ butler being rude and passive aggressive and turning down THE Eichi Tenshouin?? He’s wild for that, but he knows Eichi well enough to know he’s safe because Eichi loves it. Yuzuru is so good at reading people. Oh yeah the other !! era moment I was going to mention was the time he took both Adonis and Hiiro in a fight. Canonically strong guys with training in martial arts/defensive techniques. And he legit scared Hiiro with how suddenly his demeanour changed from passive butler to ‘don’t hold back on me >:)’ oooo I love the utter thrill he always gets when he can go all out and attack people!! He’s so fucked up!!
And now on the theme of that, we have !!! era, because pretty much all he’s done since this new era began is fight people. In his cross scout with Kaoru, he gets disappointed in himself when Nagisa outruns him. It’s interesting to note that despite the lack of practice of his abilities Yuzuru gets outside of situations often purposefully set up so he can fight (usually by Eichi and/or Wataru like the incident in Fist of Idol Togenkyo), he still assumes himself to be… the best at any sort of combat out of everyone in his current environment. Do you know what I would give to see Yuzuru and Kuro fight??? I would LOVE to witness it, but I know neither of them would be willing to go all out on each other :(. So when Nagisa ends up out-running/outmanoeuvring him, he’s peeved. Like it’s not a surprise given Nagisa is genetically created to be The Best at Everything, but damn, how highly does Yuzuru think of his own combat abilities? It never really hit me until this point. Not only is he trained at combat, but he very much thinks/knows he’s good at it, and essentially takes pride in that fact? He’s such an interesting critter. Then we have the shuffle unit, too, where Yuzuru gets to go all out and apprehend a thief and he VISIBLY has fun doing it, as well as internally discussing as much. But we also have textual proof from someone else (a random director) that Yuzuru’s ‘snap’ is a thing. He can switch between this polite, passive butler and a bloodthirsty beast in SECONDS, and the joy he feels from being a vicious hunter is probably palpable. Other people can see him essentially change mask at the flip of a switch and become someone else entirely, and it’s wild. The fact Niki is the other person who does this is also beautiful because Niki in hunger mode is also a terrifying bloodthirsty beast. Can’t believe he won most normal, even with CrazyB being CrazyB.
I’ve finally covered somewhat of a chronological series of events for Yuzuru’s character that have led to the juicy stuff of why I view him as the straight up weirdest and least normal character. Whilst that was a lot of character analysis to do with who he is at his core, as well as his background and where he’s at mentally and in terms of progression in the story, now is for a beautiful collection of utterly unhinged things he’s said/done that make me go ‘what the FUCK Yuzuru’. Which, admittedly, I do a LOT. 
he MCs for the new year live featuring Trickstar and Akatsuki and decides to fuck around with Keito because he looks too serious. He then gets drunk on the joy of fucking with Keito and just keeps screwing with the scoring system and everything whilst Keito is seething with the betrayal
he used to genuinely think his drawings were lovely, but then according to others they looked like ‘horrifying yokai thirsting for blood’, ‘vegetables committing cannibalism’ or just ‘makes [them] anxious looking at it’ so wtf is actually wrong with his perception???
has said he feels the urge to kill Tori sometimes, but ‘a true gentleman suppresses his anger’…. JUST SIT WITH THAT ONE FOR A WHILE
He’s said he wants to dissect Wataru… medically… bc of his stamina levels
He’s also threatened to take Wataru to a secluded area and cut off each of his fingers with a bradawl. YUZURU??????
Nagisa is surprised at his dexterity when he very competently ties Jun to a pillar
He cleans ES and Yumenosaki in secret because he doesn’t trust other people to do it right. Not the most insane thing ever but it adds to his issues. Also cleaning is his favourite thing to do. Cleaning. This man has a body count and I mean in the murder sense
He loves to draw even though he’s shit at it. It’s just really funny to me that he’s very dexterous and talented at pretty much everything except the one hobby he wants to have
He can pilot a helicopter- only he and Madara are known to be capable of this
He’s the best at archery and at using firearms in Yumenosaki. And most likely ES. But he’s careful not to show off his talent and ‘true nature’ because he’s an idol and doesn’t want to scare people off
He has abs. Multiple characters have commented on this. Koga has felt them up
When he gets lost in thought he tightens his grip ridiculously tight. Figured this out due to him subconsciously tightening his grip on both Ibara’s neck during SS and Tori’s clothes during Resort Live
He speaks overly politely, but with the exact same dialect as Ibara which- i’m gonna lose my linguist status for the way I’m about to butcher this- from what I can gather is easy to interpret in a rude and sharp/passive aggressive tone. I’m going off characters who say Ibara and Yuzuru speak exactly the same, and the way Rei and Eichi highlight how Yuzuru says polite words but they’re very rude and barbed despite the politeness
His dancing is sharp and impeccable and his physical abilities are apparently ridiculously impressive, far above what would ever be expected of a butler (who’s surprised?)
His administrative abilities are incredible because he’s just overall a freakish genius apparently
He can completely hide his presence. He managed to scare Nagisa during the recent Halloween event and Nagisa is a very literal freak of nature who has been lab made to be a perfect specimen with like every skill ever soooooo terrifyingly impressive imo
Now, to conclude this insanity is my main point as to why Yuzuru takes the cake as the most insane enstars character to me. And whilst yes it’s obvious from all of this that he’s absolutely batshit insane, so are many other characters, but the reason my vote goes to Yuzuru over anyone else is because of the disparity between his public perception vs. who he is. And I mean both in game and out of game. I asked my lovely partner whose biggest flaw is not giving a flying fuck about my beloved Yuzuru Fushimi no matter how many times I yell about him what their opinion was of Yuzuru prior to knowing my insanity about him. I’d like to highlight that my partner is a big fan of Ibara, so knew about Yuzuru’s backstory at least, but was otherwise oblivious to most fine lore outside the main story, being a CrazyBP. My girlfriend said that, to them, Yuzuru was just a mild mannered butler who doesn’t come across as a big personality, especially next to the rest of fine. She said he’s very overshadowed when you have 2 characters very in-your-face personality wise and Eichi Fucking Tenshouin in your unit. Further thoughts were that whilst some characters you can soak up information of via osmosis, Yuzuru isn’t one of them.
And this was INSANE to me. Because how is it possible to be an Ibara fan and a NikiP who loves Niki’s kitchen and somehow no Yuzuru lore has seeped into your awareness???? And this is what makes me go oh yeah. Yuzuru is the least normal character from a character perspective as well as within the narrative. How do you write a character THIS INSANE with this many unhinged things being said and done in pretty much any story he shows up in, but the fandom who don’t pay attention to him just,,, completely miss it all and view him EXACTLY AS HE TRIES TO PRESENT HIMSELF TO OTHER CHARACTERS: as a mild-mannered, overly polite butler who loves servitude?? Yuzuru Fushimi has not only bewitched the characters into believing his facade, but he’s thoroughly hoodwinked the general audience of ensemble stars too. No one believes Wataru to be normal and casual, and arguably he’s the most normal of fine (at least in terms of upbringing, consistency, motivations etc….. but also he is literally me and i’ve been told I’m devastatingly Not Normal, so maybe that doesn’t count). No one would claim to call Kanata normal. No one thinks HiMERU or Mayoi or Shu & Mika, or the twins are normal. Everyone knows, at least in part, how insane they are, whether they produce the unit and know the lore or not. But Yuzuru!!!! He has fooled you all!!!! He has fooled everyone, and that’s exactly what he wants to do but exactly what he is terrified of doing, too. He fears the utter insanity inside him, but he’s also desperate for any chance he can find to unleash it and, for lack of a better phrase, go beast mode.
Yuzuru Fushimi, folks. He is one hell of a character and I hope you’ve enjoyed my ridiculously long essay on exactly why he is the craziest son of a bitch in ensemble stars. At least to me <3
And now for an incomplete list of references because I legit forget where half my knowledge comes from, I just read it once and forever absorb it into my brain:
! Era:
RESORT LIVE!!! lots of Yuzuru insight
Noble game. A lot of Yuzuru, specifically within his Butler context
GANG!!!! This is the backstory & ibayuzu lore story and it kills me every time
Flower Fes. Not huge on Yuzuru lore but gives an insight into his beginnings at Yumenosaki
Toyland. Yuzuru’s drawings and feelings about being an idol come up here. As well as Tori’s guilt about Yuzuru
School Trip. Aka Yuzuru unreliable narrator the novel
!! Era:
FRONTLINE WATCHDOGS!!!! It’s the Ibayuzu lore of !! era. !!’s answer to Gang
SS finals. It’s really long so specifically the chapters with Ibara and Yuzuru are where the lore is
Fist of Idol Togenkyo. I didn’t mention it much here but it covers Yuzuru’s acting and fighting quite well
Tempest & Primavera are the fine stories that discuss Yuzuru’s current role in ES and Tori’s life best but I didn’t reference them loads
Fair Waltz. It’s a short scout story but it’s so good for Yuzuru & Eichi dynamic & Yuzuru fighting
Grand Slam. There’s like one chapter during the sports festival about Yuzuru and guns lol
Yuzuru idol story episode 3. Ibayuzu reflect on their past & I cry
Seasoning as you like (Niki idol story). Niki’s kitchen revealing some of Yuzuru’s violent tendencies
!!! Era
Intelligence. Cross scout with Kaoru where the Nagisa incident happens
Ballade of the Lost Ones. Shuffle Unit!!!! Yuzuru goes wild!!!
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onakomiyaki · 6 months ago
Text
just a silly crush (not) pt.2
pairing : daniel ricciardo x childhood friend-brabham!reader
summary : your wall is starting to crumbling down, thanks to daniel. and the ice exterior you've been putting on for years started to melt, thanks to the daniel, the sunshine himself.
warning: unedited and rushed work, harsh words, slowburn.
a/n : we start to explore what's going on with y/n brabham. and honestly this is one of my favorite chapter to write so far!
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most of juniors that tried to befriended you have one same goals; to get you to help them to get close to some of your friends-your driver friends of course. or maybe that's just how you've been treated your whole life when you grow up, so you just assume that they want you for something–link to the drivers in this case.
if there is something you know best about f1 is that it is a hot topic amongst your juniors in modelling world and oh how they wish to be one of the wags of the f1 drivers.
many have tried, from buying you some expensive gift, trying to go on a lunch date with you, or just be your matchmaker–which let's be honest, sound kind of dumb when you surrounded by some of good looking-breath-taking drivers, not only in f1 but on some other motorsports as well–and the list is still counting.
and you, by natural, got a lot of heat from it. but you're fine. by the end of the day you're still the one who spend some holidays with those drivers, not them.
but not even once succeeded to even own your private phone number.
"(y/n) you really need to be nice to your colleagues, the media is onto you again." anna, your manager, watch your reflection with annoyed expression.
"what is it now?" you simply ask, eyes closing as you massage your temple.
"you were voted as the most cold-hearted models to work with." she exclaim, walking towards your direction with ipad in her hand.
you just stare at the pad with unamused expression. you read the headline with a frown on your face, then let out a scoff.
"(Y/N) BRABHAM, THE EVERCHANGING ICE PRINCESS,"
"COLD AS THE ARTICS, HERE ARE (Y/N) BRABHAM'S ICONIC RESTING B**** FACE!"
"i honestly adore (y/n) so much, she's an icon. but it is-it is hard to get close to her. to make friend with her outside the work talk. almost like she build this wall around us."
"i remember she's constantly sat alone in the dressing room-sometimes she just sat there with her headphone on. and when she's alone no one dare to talk to her-she's just that intimidating!"
and there's more articles and some interview snippets from your junior about how unapproachable you are.
"ice princess? what am i, elsa from frozen?" you said, scrolling away.
"i told you to be nice to those young models, (y/n)." anna said, snatching the ipad from your hand.
you finally turn your body, looking up at your manager. "they only want me because they want to get to know my friends." you stated.
"well maybe they want to be your friends? can't you just humor them for once? it won't kill you to gave them some of your friends' numbers..." she asked, sitting down on the sofa, just across you.
"anna, im not trying to gatekeep those men. they are welcome to get to know lewis, lando, carlos, charles, max, esteban, pierre-"
"and daniel."
"-nope. not daniel, not a chance." you finally turn your body, pointing at anna with frown on your face.
"why not? you know him the longest i'm sure you'll find a model that will fit him as a girlfriend." she asked, throwing a little smirk at you.
"that's the problem, i've known him almost all my life! what if i introduce him to a wrong person then shit went downhill? what if they only want his money? i can't risk that anna." you said, voice gone an octave higher.
"(y/n) you know that's not true. that's just you being scared of nothing-"
"anna you don't understand! he is the one constant in my life that i can count on–he keep me grounded okay? i am me with him and the thought of losing him-"
"(y/n)-"
"‐point is im not gonna risk my friendship like that. especially with daniel. if they want to get to know those drivers, just attend the race, get a paddock pass or something. im sure if those drivers truly interested they will come." you finally stated, voice stern as you turn your back on your manager like a kid throwing small tantrum.
anna shakes her head in disbelief as she walk away from you, taking the ipad with her. "you're such a child sometimes."
"oh but you love me enough to stay with me for 10 years." you bite back.
"and i am amazed at myself for doing that. okay back to the topic, can just think about befriending your junior, please? that's all i ask from you, and you know i never asked anything from you." anna said as she walk out from your room, closing the door behind her.
you just sat there, pouting as you return your attention to your original task, watching the replay of british gp on your laptop.
it has been almost 2 months since your party and your meeting with daniel. and its also been 2 months since you call him. yes, texts were exchanged, but of course you miss his voice as well.
between your tight schedule and his race, you never find a time to call him. well you can but choose not to. you don't want to distract him.
as you saw the checkered flag being waved you take your phone, wanting to send daniel a congratulations text for his p5.
p5 bigman. congrats! podium next maybe? i miss watching your shoey thingy.
you stop, hovering at the send button. you want to call him. should you call him? you should probably call him instead. its his highest position of this season afterall.
but what if he's busy? he should be loaded with interviews by now right? ah there's also briefing right? you shouldn't call him. but, it won't hurt trying to call him. worst thing that can happen is the call never got answered anyway.
so you just sat there, phone in your hand as you chew the inside of your cheek, tasting a bit of iron when you accidentally bit too hard.
10 minutes have passed, and you're still staring at your phone. pretty sure by now daniel would've changed his outfit, already out of his race suit and maybe already headed back to his motorhome.
before you chickened out, you press the call button. the call is connected and you shriek, pushing the phone away as if the phone burn you.
"please don't answer, please don't answer! please-"
"hello?"
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"p5 mate, that's a good one." one of the engineers welcome him with a clap on his shoulder, but voice is not as excited as it should be.
"yeah, thanks. i can do better, i will do better next time." daniel said, voice a bit trembling from the adrenaline that still coursing through his body.
he pull the baclava off or his head, sweats dripping from his brown curls. his freckled face flushed, chest heave heavily as he wait for his water. if you look close enough, you can see steam seeping out from his racing suit.
he tear the velcro of his race suit, pulling the zipper down. "daniel! points for both of us!" lando, race suit sat snuggly on his hips, greeting the older man with a beaming smile.
"and you did amazing out there. keep up with the goodwork." daniel said, ruffling the younger's hair, smiling proudly at the young brit.
although daniel got points for mclaren, he knew that all eyes are on him. expecting something more from the ferocious honey badger, a win maybe. and truth be told he also expected more from himself.
the fact that p5 is his current highest position in this season really speak something. of course its not a bad thing, but he can't help it. he knew mclaren put a lot of faith on the 7 times champions to take home the first trophy for mclaren.
he silently walk back to his driver room, helmet sat snuggly on his waist beneath his arm. michael, his trainer, follow him while he ramble about their next training session.
but of course the only voices he heard right now is just some static buzz and noises. he is dissosiating, moving autopilot towards the sofa and plop down. his body instantely melts as he stare blankly at the ceiling.
"- and (y/n) will be there and all." michael said.
at the mention of your name, daniel's ears perk up and he only gave the other man a puzzled looks.
"sorry, you were saying?" he said.
"daniel this is getting ridiculous. i've spent 5 minutes explaining how we can improve your training and you just listen to me after i mention (y/n). just call her for godsake." michael said as he put some notes for daniel down on the table, throwing an acussing stare at him. daniel flustered under his gaze.
"sorry i was just– its not that! i–"
"i get it buddy, you're hopelessly in love with (y/n)" michael said, patting the aussie on the shoulder as he walk out from his room. "you really should call her man, stop playing the tough guy card, you're not fooling yourself or anyone."
daniel sigh in defeat, unable to come out with a comeback. to think that everyone but her knew about that–his feeling–is just sad at this point. michael was right, he is hopelessly, pathetically, desperately in love with you. for years now.
he knew he loved you eversince he saw your freckled face blushed under the australian heat, helmet in your hand 20 years ago as you listen to your father explaining how you can improve your turns and how you should control your kart well.
he loved you eversince you introduce yourself, voice cocky and proud after winning the carting session. "(y/n) brabham, and i will be an f1 driver." he remember what you said as you walk towards him and he was stunned, just silently watching as you walk away from him, your ponytail swaying left and right.
he loved you eversince you give him a can of cold soda, putting the can on his cheek. he jumped, flinching at the sudden cold sensation on his cheek. and that was the first time he heard your–oh so cute–cackles.
he loved you eversince he found you hiding away out of the karting field, sitting alone on the grass. he saw how your back was trembling, so he sat down with you. "i will never be a driver. i will never be enough." you said, wiping your tears as you lean into his left shoulder. and daniel listen to the voice of your soft sobs, letting his race suit wet from the tears.
he loved you. still love you. and will always love you. desperately so that it hurts him whenever you call him your bestbuddy ever or whenever he listen how you cry after unlucky relationship with some random man or when he went out on a date with some random girls, trying his best to burrow his feeling deep, which of course doesn't work.
just let me be your man, dammit.
so, daniel let out a deep shuddered breath as he sat down. his eyes landed on his phone that laying on the table, next to the report papers michael left for him.
should he call you?
he shakes his head, raising from his seat to walk towards his fridge. he took one of the bottled juice michael had prepared for him. he took the lid off as he empty the bottle in no time.
after throwing away the empty bottle, he shurg off his race suit, tossing it to the nearest chair.
he was halfway from taking his heat suit off of his body when his phone rang. its so embarassing how his head whipped quickly to his phone and how he struggle to just shrug his heat protector away.
"oh shit-"
he crashed, fall to the floor before quickly running for his phone. he accept the call, let out a wheezed air as he press the green button.
"hello?" he calmly said as he rub his elbow.
"hi danny, you busy?"
"no-no not at all. i was just chilling in my motor home. i have interview in 5 though. do you need something?" daniel finally sat down, this time on the floor.
he wait for your response as lay down, face facing the ceiling.
"oh. no, not at all. i just want to congratulate you on p5."
"you watch the race?"
"i always watch your race, maybe not in person, but i never missed your race."
and now daniel turn into 17 years old girl who got called by his crush, giggling and twirling his hairs. "really?" his voice squeak pathetically, so he clear his throat.
"yes, of course! i will always support my best buddy no matter what, even if it from afar."
oh.
yeah, bestfriend.
ouch.
"aww, geez. thanks, brabham. i knew you're in love with me."
"hah! you wish, ricciardo! anyway-"
"yeah?"
"you're doing great sweetheart. do not forget who you are and what you capable of. keep your chin up, bigman."
daniel smile slowly creeping back on his face. he can feel how flushed his face right now.
"thank you, (y/n)."
"you are most welcome, honeybadger. bite 'em okay?"
he turn his body so that he's laying on his side. he used his left arm as a pillow.
"can i bite you instead?"
silence. daniel held his breath, biting his bottom lips as he wait for your answer. and when he about to apologize, daniel heard you clearing your throat.
"alright pump the brake romeo. anyways, i will leave you be now. i'm gonna catch some sleep here. talk to you later, ricciardo."
"alrighty, cheers, brabham."
and the call end just like that. and daniel feel silly. he pull his phone closer to his face, gently hitting his forehead with it.
"you stupid boy..." he said to himself.
but he can't help it, he wished that you're here with him. god how he want to hug you right now. even better, kiss you right now.
"oi, danny! we need to go now!" one of the pr team shouted as he knocked the door.
"yeah! coming! just gimme a sec!"
meanwhile, you on the other side, had to stop and do a manual breathing after the call. you're slapping your face with both your hands as you watch your reflection on the mirror.
"bro pull yourself together! he is your bestfriend!"
"can i bite you instead?"
"AAAAAAAAAH!"
you let out a scream as you recall what he said to you. his deep voice haunted you–making you both dizzy and anxious (in a good way). no, definitely not. you can't! panicking, you get up from your seat as you pacing around the room.
"that bastard."
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batboyblog · 24 days ago
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2016 is often considered the point when leftism managed to get itself into the mainstream and became more popular, but I honestly can't help but wonder, given the sheer descent into conspiracy theory and selfish cruelty of the current state, whether in hindsight it was actually leftism's step into decline.
I've been thinking about this a lot, sadly I'm getting the start of a Migraine, so the edges of my thoughts are all fuzzy so idk if I'll be able to do what I think justice, but lets try.
The human mind doesn't really like complexity, it'd a pattern recognition machine built to find food and stuff that thinks you're food in the African brush. So we like to find patterns and lump stuff together, its hardwired in.
so "Leftism" I do understand what you mean, but I think it covers a really wide area.
and I think in politics we like to assign ideological and policy logic to things to political movements, it has to be about a coherent and rational ideology and world view we think. But... I think, often times it's emotional as much as anything. Did people vote for JFK or Reagan so much for policy as they, personally in their person, seemed to be the antidote to what was wrong in the moment? JFK seemed young and energetic when compared to an elderly and ill President Eisenhower, Reagan had the claiming aging leading man energy to make everyone feel like it'd be okay, a movie cowboy to lead us against bad guys we didn't understand while nice guy Jimmy Carter seemed stuck.
So back to 2016, I think there was so real ideology to start. The Left of the Democratic Party felt empowered after 2006, the left of the party had been against the Iraq War from the jump and that turned into the organizing issue that pushed Republicans out of power in 2006. A San Fran liberal, founding member of the House Progressive Cause was the first woman Speaker (and in favor of gay marriage too). In 2008 the Left of the party for largely emotional reasons sided with Obama over Clinton, even though they largely overlapped on policy and where there were (minor) differences she was to his left.
so riding high from two back to back wins, having gotten a lot of progressives elected to the House and Senate (like Bernie Sanders) progressive Dems were pretty let down by the real results, the ACA got bogged down and their dearest wish list item, the public option, which Pelosi fought for so hard, failed to make it into the final bill, and then 2010, a blood bath. And understandably there's been some frustration with Obama for not living up to the hype and also failing to really focus on state level races, Democrats got tarred hard
BUT! there's also an emotional side, Occupy Wall Street. I remember at the time being interested in it, I was young and more radical, but soon I got really frustrated because they had no demands, I watched every night MSNBC which was very sympathetic, but no one could articulate what it is they wanted, past a vague idea of "punish" the guilty.
I think there's a lot of restless frustration, some of it grounded and based in reality some of it not, in this country and its only grown over time as well as a contempt for and a break down of any kind of respect for experts and norms any anything established.
SO! I think that emotion latched onto Bernie and the left of the Democratic Party. As someone who worked that election I can tell you, at first knocking doors in New Hampshire, I got the taste of the very start of the campaign. And people would say "oh I'm voting for Bernie now, but I'll vote for Hillary in the general" but soon it went from friendly, from "we're pushing her to the left" to something bitter and angry. I had Bernie supporters tell me 1990s Fox News conspiracy theories around the Clintons, I had a Bernie supporter (in the general election) follow two college girl volunteers for blocks back to our office to SCREAM at us all.
Bernie won the New Hampshire Primary pretty commandingly that year, and partly because he had a strong volunteer network. But in the general despite many efforts we could barely get any of his regular volunteers to come work with us against Trump. I remember one lady who showed up just once and looked RIP SHIT! to be there, I think she said that all the positive stuff we said about Clinton, at a canvass launch for Clinton, made her "sick" and "don't expect me to say anything nice about her!" and she was one of only a tiny number of Bernie people who showed up in the general so she was better than some.
I remember the only Bernie Volunteer we got to become a regular. He'd knocked doors for months in New Hampshire for Bernie, organized his own phone bank into Nevada for their primary, drove down to South Carolina and spent the week before their primary knocking. Clearly a true believer, and when he decided to volunteer with us they kicked him out of the Facebook group he started and stopped speaking to him. I'll always remember what he said, that around the Bernie office they used to say that "a Trump voter was just a Bernie voter who hasn't been educated yet"
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, there were real motivations of the progressives and the left of the party, real policy based frustrations, particularly around how health care worked out, and I think Bernie Sanders himself was running because of that and to express that. But it tapped into something else, something not really political and much more emotional, rage and bitterness and a need to punish, the same energizes Trump taps into. It made a permission to be nasty to people you don't like, particularly women, I won't repeat the things people said on the phones, horrible.
now in 2024, almost 10 years later, there's a lot more depression mixed in, Trump talks about America as a 3rd world country all the time, there's just a vibe of having given up, hopelessness. There's a genocide and everything is horrible and hopeless and give up and die.
I don't believe in giving up, I don't believe in bitterness, I'm not a sunny person in real life, but I believe the point of politics, the politics I'm a part of, is lifting people up. It might be corny and uncool, but I believe in America, not that we're prefect, no, we're not, but together we've done great things, we fought a world war and went to the moon, and we can do great things together still always if we believe in each other, build each other up, stop being so afraid and weak and sad. I want to be beat fascism again, I want to go to the moon again, I want to beat climate change, and finally finally make the promise that all men are created equal REAL, and I don't believe in hiding behind walls, and crying that we can't do it any more, fuck that shit.
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kirbyoctournament · 7 months ago
Text
🌙 Welcome to the Kirby OC Tournament! 💫
CURRENTLY: VOTING IS CLOSED!!!!
the oc tournament is back again this year, and will be hosted by @starflungwaddledee and @moonverc3x!
this is a fun and friendly popularity contest for kirby-verse original character designs and their associated stories or lore. competitors can submit their characters to the competition during the submission period, after which characters will be matched randomly together in public polls for voting!
there will also be a second-chance bracket, to allow folks voted out early to continue playing and participating in the contest. polls are open for anyone, competitors and spectators alike!
in between each match-up, competitors can create artwork "propaganda" for their characters which will be shared to the blog! getting your character in front of voters will help people to recognise and care about them, and can increase your chances of getting votes-- as well as new fans-- for your OC!
🗓️ schedule of events 🗓️
submissions open: april 8th see below for how to submit your oc! submissions close: april 30th brackets announced: may 10th voting begins: may 13th bracket length: 1 week break length: 2 weeks each voting bracket will last One Week with public tumblr polls on the @kirbyoctournament blog. there will be a week between polls to give competitors time to draw up additional propaganda! depending on the size of the first bracket in particular, poll posts may be staggered over several days. if this happens, the break week will begin after the final poll closes.
🥳 how to submit your oc 🥳
Submissions are CLOSED as at midnight of April 30th. to submit your oc (only one oc allowed per participant!!), simply make a post on your own blog introducing your character with art and/or any lore you'd like to include! make sure to tag the @kirbyoctournament in your post (please do not submit via the ask box.) despite being an oc centric event, you can include canon characters in your OC backstory and propaganda. here is a template for submissions, but this is just a guide and you can deviate from it as necessary! if you want to write a lot of text, consider putting it under a 'read more'! Name: Reference Image/s: Notes on Personality (optional, but preferred!): Backstory and Lore (optional):
remember, this is a friendly competition, none of you will get hurt!
if you have any questions, send us an ask! (please do not dm either hosts, the askbox is where you need to go with questions!)
🔗 useful links 🔗
kirby oc tourney discord server. here you can chat with other competitors, mods, and get pinged when polls are posted! current confirmed competitors list. if you've tagged the blog in your submission post you can check here to make sure we've got it! Though, please allow us 24 hours after submitting your oc for them to be added before contacting us! We are doing our best to keep things up to date, but we cant be online all the time! tournament brackets here you can check to see who your oc is paired up with! polls a fast pass to the polls (2024) tag!
🌑 mod disclaimer 🌟
@moonverc3x and @starflungwaddledee are cohosting the tourney to make sure it runs smoothly this year and so that the event can hopefully bring some joy and interaction to the kirby oc tumblr community, but we also always wanted to compete. because this is a popularity contest with public voting and all pairings are 100% randomised, we don't think this gives us any sort of advantage, and all propaganda will be posted on our private blogs like everybody else's. however we do just want to be upfront about it!
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warping-realities · 2 months ago
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Part of the Family
Hey guys, first of all this is the long overdue 1000 followers special and also the last story for a while. I'm warning you that it may not be to everyone's taste. There are sensitive themes in the middle and I wrote it more thinking about a horror story than anything else. I don't even need to say that I don't agree with the thoughts and ideas presented by the person responsible for everything who is a fucking psychopath who piously believes that his vision of the world is the only possible one. Anyway, I hope it's an interesting read.
Alexander couldn't believe where the hell he was at that moment. For the young New Yorker, visiting a small town in Texas was way at the bottom of his to-do list, just above getting his teeth pulled without anesthesia. But Abby insisted, and he eventually caved. They had been together for a few months, having met at college where they shared a common class in Columbia. Despite her hick name, Abilene Marrie Johnson, Abby had a sharp mind and a biting sense of humor, able to throw shade right back at his sarcastic remarks with ease, making him quickly fall for her. Not that the fact she was a hot blonde with a petite, well-proportioned body gets in the way. Even her terrible Southern accent was just a remnant of what it used to be, almost unnoticeable, though he still found himself grimacing when she let it slip. That was happening way too often since she arrived in her hometown, where her dad and brother worked in construction. How low-class was that? Not that he was about to say anything to his girlfriend, who was eager for him to meet her family. He didn’t share that anxiety; he could overlook her flaws, but being stuck with two ill-mannered troglodytes was out of the question. This was gonna be his one and only trip to this backwoods hellhole, and he was doing it just to please her—later, he’d make up excuses to avoid going through this crap again.
“A July 4th lunch in a community center… how… proletarian.” He commented condescendingly while looking for his girlfriend at the entrance of the old manor that served as the town's gathering spot. Watching the myriad of folks around him, from all sorts of races mingling just fine, surprised him since he expected a bunch of racist rednecks. What didn’t surprise him was seeing most of them wearing something with the American flag or at least some stripes and stars. Abby wanted to dress like that too, but he’d never let himself be seen with someone dressed so… tacky, to say the least. Independence Day had never been celebrated at his house; his parents were fierce liberals with anarchist tendencies, viewing the day as something hijacked by far-right conservatives who used patriotism to justify their anti-democratic antics. Not that any of them had bothered to vote in any of the recent elections. Seeing such a display of mindless patriotism made him think this day was gonna drag on forever. After a three-hour drive from Dallas to the place, he just wanted to find his girlfriend and get through this torment as fast as possible. He finally spotted her chatting with a hulking Southern dude, older than both of them, with that corn-fed hick boy look, prom king, varsity team… the whole package. He wouldn’t have given a damn if it weren't for the way she was talking to him—too damn cozy for his liking.
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“Hum-hum.” He said, positioning himself next to them.
“Alexander, you made it!”
“How could I turn down your invite, even if it means hours of driving to such a… picturesque event? However, I had the impression that it would be a family event.
“May seem strange to you, city boy, but in towns like ours, community is important; everyone knows each other and has helped one another at some point, so we take every chance to be grateful to each other and to the country.”
Said the muscular blonde man who was with her, wearing a sweatshirt with the American flag on it.
“Alexander, let me introduce you; this is John Paul Sanders; he’s been my brother’s buddy for life, from school all the way to college. Now he handles the accounting for a bunch of businesses in Bushfield, including my father’s.
“So you’re the guy who finally won our Abby's heart? You’re gonna run into some pretty jealous dudes, she’s quite the heartbreaker.” The man said, extending his hand to Alexander, who, wanting to avoid looking arrogant, shook it only to feel his fingers crushed by the giant's hand.
“Guess you must be one of them.” He commented venomously while trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.
“Oh no, quite the opposite. Abby and I are cousins by marriage; my wife Susie is the daughter of Trav’s sister, Abby’s dad. Speaking of which, I gotta run, Abilene; Huck is being a handful; the little demon broke your aunt’s favorite vase yesterday. We’ll catch up later,” he said, kissing her cheek before leaving without even glancing at Alexander.
“Interesting type; I imagine there’ll be more. And as much as he says he isn’t, I thought he seemed pretty interested in you.” He remarked as they made their way to the huge backyard.
“Babe, my house was practically a hangout for the football team; my brother’s friends basically lived there; JP and the others are like older brothers to me, and they all still see me as Tommy’s little sister; it’s natural for them to be jealous. Plus, he’s head over heels for Susie, who’s my best friend. Don’t worry about nonexistent stuff.” She said, caressing his arm.
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“My dad’s probably in the back grilling, and my brother… oh, look, there he is.” Abby smiled at another blonde man emerging from a covered area full of tables where the crowd would likely feast later. Sporting a muscular, defined physique, with a five o'clock shadow and that dangerous but cute country boy vibe that certainly caught the eyes of many women, he quickly sparked disdain in Alexander. Did these types multiply by binary fission? The feeling of animosity seemed mutual, as the man’s smile vanished the moment he saw who his sister was with.
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“Hey, Abbey Road! Looks like the big city hasn’t changed you one bit; I was afraid I’d find you with blue hair, unshaved armpits, and covered in piercings, with some feminist nonsense tattooed on you.” He said, hugging his sister without giving Alexander a single glance, who was taken aback by the nickname her brother used for Abby, as he imagined that a hick ogre like that would reference crap country music about driving tractors and screwing horses while drinking beer or whatever. Only to then be hit with a mix of disgust and rage at the guy's macho comments.
“Shut up, Tommy, you jerk!” Abby shot back, smiling, without really correcting her brother’s remark, then pulled Alexander by the hand and introduced him. “This is Alexander, my boyfriend.”
“Whats up, bro?” Tommy said, extending his hand to Alexander, who, reluctantly after the last experience, reciprocated the gesture only to feel his delicate hand crushed again as the giant flashed him a wicked smile before turning back to his sister.
“Can I ask what you’re wearing? Dad’s gonna flip if he sees you without a flag on; tradition is tradition, Abilene; I thought you knew that, but maybe the big city got to your head.” He said, glancing at Alexander, as if he knew exactly who to blame for that, before continuing. “I’ll call Angie to get you something from her place.” He turned and called a beautifull and very pregnant Latina woman who came smiling toward them.
“Abby! So good to see you! And you must be Alex; she’s been talking so much about you!”
“Alexander, my name is Alexander.” He replied, annoyed, since he hated any kind of nickname.
“Sorry, Abby called you that and I…”
“It’s all good, Angela, mi amor; why don’t you take Abby over to my place to change and let me and my brother-in-law get to know each other better?” Tommy interrupted, putting himself between his sister and Alexander, wrapping his giant arm around the smaller, skinnier man’s shoulders.
“Sure, I think if you guys chat, you’ll become great friends.” Abby said with a smile.
“I’m sure of it, Abbey Road; now hurry up.” Her brother replied, smiling, while his arm’s strength almost crushed Alexander. As soon as Abby and Angie left, Tommy finally released Alexander, looking at him with cold eyes.
“Speak to my wife like that again, and you’ll wish you’d never set foot in Texas… Xander.” He said threateningly.
“Believe me, that wish already exists… Thomas.”
“The name’s Tommy; I’m not some Thomas.”
“How curious, using the diminutive as a proper name.”
“I guarantee you, nothing about me is diminutive.” Tommy replied, flexing his muscular arm. “And you know what curiosity did to the cat, right?”
Ignoring the threat, Alexander continued.
“I just find the choice strange; your parents should’ve done the opposite and left Abby’s name in the diminutive. Where the hell did they come up with Abilene?”
“It was the name of my dad’s mom, so you better watch your mouth, kid. Actually, I think it’s about time you and my dad had a chat; come with me, city boy.” And he turned toward where he had come from. Not knowing what else to do, Alexander followed him.
“You know, Abby’s always had a weird taste in guys; all the guys on the football team from my time and hers would’ve done anything to date her, but she always preferred… well… people like you.”
The audacity of that hick!
“As far as I know, I’m her first boyfriend.”
“Yeah, exactly.” The other man replied with a mocking grin before pointing to a huge, gray-haired man working the grill, wearing only shorts and an apron with the ever-present American flag.
“Dad’s over there; good luck with that, city boy; you’re gonna need it.”
Tommy said, widening his grin and walking away, leaving Alexander to head over to his father-in-law by himself. Travis Johnson, a self-made man in the construction business, started as a laborer before opening his own company, a pillar of the Bushfield community, Abby’s dad, and apparently not too pleased with the figure approaching him, though he forced a stiff smile for the sake of his daughter when he saw Alexander coming.
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“Good morning, son; you must be Alex; Abby’s been talking a lot about you.” He said, taking a long swig of beer.
“Same about you, Travis.” Alexander replied, not correcting his father-in-law on the nickname; he knew he was dealing with a man who wouldn’t take kindly to being corrected.
“Mr. Johnson, son; call me Mr. Johnson; calling me by my first name is an acquired privilege.” The man replied.
“Of course, Mr. Johnson; then I ask that you call me by my correct name; I’m Alexander, not Alex.” Since the old man was gonna act that way, he saw no reason to try to please him anymore; it seemed any chance for a good relationship with his girlfriend’s family was shot, and he wondered once more why he was such an idiot to come to this place.
“Of course, Alexander. We have a lot to talk about, but before that, you want a beer? The meat should take a while, and by tradition, women and kids eat first around here.”
“Thanks, Mr. Johnson, but I’ll pass; I don’t drink anything alcoholic, and my diet is vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian? I see… But the beer is all craft, made right here; The Dubois Widow brews it on the family farm.”
“I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on that too, sir.” He said, thinking about contamination and the filth of the pigsty where the old lady probably brewed that horse piss.
“Fine, and I fear we’ll have to move on to more serious matters without anything to grease the wheels.” The father-in-law replied with a voice that was undeniably hostile.
…..
Watching the altercation from a distance was Tommy, sitting at a table with Diego Ramirez, his best friend, snickering at Alexander's pained expression.
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“The kid’s shitting himself.”
“Poor city boy. Tommy, that boy wasn’t made for this; I don’t know what got into Abby’s head bringing a city slicker here.”
“Abilene’s always had strange tastes.”
“Hey, asshole, do I need to remind you I was her date to the prom?”
“Only because you were one of my best friends and she knew all her friends would be jealous seeing her with the most eligible bachelor in town.”
“Only because you and our other golden boy, JP, were off at college.”
“Still, it was that night that you and Betty hit it off, and Austin was born; you should thank me for making you take Abby to the prom.”
“Abby herself didn’t seem that grateful; thank God she went to college right after. Which makes me think, a pretty woman like your sister dating for the first time only in her junior year of college is a bit strange.”
“I told you, Abby’s always had strange tastes, as you can see.”
“Dude, your dad’s about to grill the yankee for the barbecue.”
“Would be a better use for him, but the kid’s so skinny he wouldn’t even make a decent serving.” They both burst into laughter, stopping only when a small, dark-haired boy about three years old came running toward them.
“Hey, big boy, come give your uncle Tommy a hug.”
“Austin, come here! Let me see that arm! One more minute and you’ll be bigger than me!”
“I can’t wait to put the kid in pop warner, but there are still two years to go; at least now he has Huck to play with, and Angela’s about to pop with the twins. You’re in for some rough nights, bro; if one’s already a handful, imagine two boys, especially if they inherit my sister’s temperament.”
“Don’t even get me started; if I didn’t love that woman so much… but that’s the burden of a man: providing for the family and understanding when the wife is going through tough times before she gets back to running the household. Speaking of which, how’s Betty’s situation with her mom? The Dubois widow is a tough nut to crack.”
“Imagine being her son-in-law, man. She won’t hear of selling the ranch, but since my father-in-law passed, things have been rough; the cattle and horses need care and Charlene’s not cut out for it, especially with the brewery to run, and Betty’s got our house and Austin… I try to lend a hand, but working as your dad’s foreman, it’s no cakewalk.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I would’ve found a way to help.”
“You have the bussiness to help manage, a coaching gig at the school, and a pregnant wife with twins, Tommy; a wife who, by the way, is my sister and would kill me if I overloaded you with my problems.”
“Angela knows you’re like a brother to me, especially after we lost Mateo.”
“I know, bro, but think about it; she’s pregnant with twins, two boys; imagine the tension in her head remembering seeing me and him running around the house or playing ball with you and the guys and thinking that suddenly one of them could be taken from her?”
“That’s not gonna happen, Diego; but you know, I think the conversation got way too heavy for a day of festivities. Austin, your uncle Tommy needs a favor; go find uncle Hunter, uncle J.P and Huck for me.” He said, setting the little guy down before looking at his dad.
“Let’s have some fun.”
….
“What I want to say is exactly what I asked: what are your intentions with my daughter? Abilene may be in New York now, but she’s a country girl, wants to be a vet, and you, with all due respect, kid, you don’t belong here.”
“With all due respect, sir, I think it’s way too early for us to be talking about that, but when and if the time comes, we’ll figure it out.” Figure out way to stay far away from here, he thought without saying it out loud.
“You’re not getting it, kid; maybe in the big city things are different, but here we do things the right way. You came to my house with my daughter claiming to be her boyfriend without asking for my permission first, and you have the gall to say you have no plans for a future with her? No marriage or kids…”
“Oh, as for that, you can rest easy; I don’t plan on having kids.”
“Kid, what do you think you’re doing here? What were you expecting to get?”
“I’ve been asking myself the same… wow.”
He started to respond before being knocked over onto a table by two three-year-olds, with a good amount of cold sauce spilling onto his clothes and hair.
“Little brats! And you ask me why I don’t want to have kids… if I catch those little pests…” Alexander said angrily, getting back up.
“What’s going on here?” asked the biggest cop Alexander had ever seen, a gigantic black man about the same age as his brother-in-law. “Any trouble here, Travis?” He continued, his face serious, though with traces of a teasing grin on his full lips.
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“Nope, not at all, Hunter. The kid just lost his cool a bit, that’s all.”
“I think so.”
“Sorry, officer.”
“We respect the kids in this town, kid, and you were talking about my godson and Travis's great-nephew, and the other one is Travis's son’s nephew.”
Alexander looked to the side and saw one of the brats on the lap of the blond ogre who was apparently married to Abby's cousin, and was staring at him menacingly.
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“Let it go, Hunter; the kid just lost his head. Speaking of Tommy, where is he?”
“I saw him just a bit ago with Diego at a table a little further up, Travis.”
“If you could take the boy over there, he’s gonna need to clean up and change clothes.”
“Sure, come with me, boy.” The giant said, grabbing Alexander by the arm and dragging him like he was one of the kids.
“Be careful with that mouth of yours, boy; J.P. is a cool guy, but Diego is hotheaded and also the dad of the other of those boys you recklessly threatened.”
Alexander, dazed by the events and indignant about how he was being treated, but also fearing for his own safety, said nothing, allowing himself to be led by in diection of another giant, this one a Latino of the same age as the others. What the hell was in the water in this damn town that created monsters like that? He had no doubt that one day those little brats who knocked him over would grow up to be just as big as their progenitors.
“Hey, Diego, bro. Where’s Tommy? Abby’s boyfriend is looking for him.”
At that moment, the other man was chugging a beer from a pint that looked more like a jug that even one of his giant mitts couldn’t hold on to alone. He finished taking a huge gulp and passed the jug to the side before grabbing his own cup, letting out a loud burp, and bursting into laughter. How could Abby stand living with those kinds of people?
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“Oops.” He said, wiping his mouth with his hands. “Tommy went to meet Angie and Abby to find out what’s taking them so long. If you want, I can walk you over there, man.”
“No, thanks; I think I’ll find my way on my own.” Alexander replied, making a disgusted face, finally breaking free from the cop and heading toward the front of the community center before anyone could stop him. He walked quickly, determined to find Abby and tell her he was leaving that place right then and there, and after that, they’d deal with it when she got back to New York for their senior year.
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He only stopped walking when he saw his brother-in-law strutting down the street like he owned it, with an air of superiority and arrogance that, if Alexander had the slightest bit of self-awareness, he would’ve recognized as the same vibe he himself typically radiated when not caught in such an embarrassing situation.
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“Hey, bro. The guys told me you were looking for me; looks like you’re in need of a little help.”
“I just want to find Abby.”
“Sure, she’s at my place with Angie; let’s head over there, clean up a bit, and I’ll lend you some clothes.”
“I can grab a clean outfit from my car.”
“Nonsense; I must have some clothes from when I was younger that should fit you; that way, we avoid ruining any more of your expensive threads if another accident happens.”
Not wanting to admit he was planning to bail on this place as soon as possible, Alexander opted to follow his brother-in-law to his house. Arriving at the place, a big and cozy house, Tommy asked Alexander to strip down to his underwear.
“Angie will kill me if I mess up her floor, man. Women, you know how they are, especially with pregnancy hormones…Wait here while I grab the clothes, and then you can take a shower.”
“Where’s Abby?”
“Oh, I forgot to mention; she and Angie went to the house next door; Sara, Hunter’s wife, who you met a bit ago, is about to pop; she’s a couple of months ahead of Angie and couldn’t make it to the party today. But I assure you, Abby will be back soon.” He said, handing Alexander a towel. “Dry off with this while I get the clothes; once you’re clean, you can sit in one of the chairs.”
Alexander did as he was told and, feeling surreal, sat there in his underwear while waiting for his brother-in-law to return. After a few minutes, Tommy came back with a change of clothes, which he placed on the coffee table while heading for the kitchen.
“Take a look and tell me what you think.” He said while heading toward the kitchen and coming back with two cups of beer. “So, what do you think?”
“There’s no way I can wear this, man; it’s way too big for me, and I don’t wear tank tops.” Alexander said, holding up a tank that looked more like a sheet, along with a pair of shorts that would easily fit two of his legs in one of the leg holes.
“Why don’t you take a sip of beer, Xander?”
“I already told you my name…”
“We don’t poison our drinks; feel free to drink.” Tommy cut in, then took a sip from the cup he prepared for Alexander before bursting into laughter at seeing his brother-in-law automatically lift the cup to his lips and take a swig for the first time in years. The beer was cold and tasted just like he remembered from the few times he’d had it before.
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“Good on ya, Xander. Isn’t it way better this way, acting respectful toward your hosts?”
Alexander was shocked at himself; why the hell did he do that?
“What… what?”
“Hush, boy. You’re about to listen; oh, how I love this part! You have no idea where you’ve gotten yourself into, city boy. You know, I made a promise to my mom a little before she passed; I’d do everything to protect Abby, and I’ve kept that promise ever since in ways you couldn’t even imagine. The things I’ve had to do…But why don’t you let me show you?” Tommy said, and suddenly Alexander found himself in another place, walking alongside Tommy wearing clothes he’d never be caught dead in: ragged shorts, a tank top, and flip-flops, pretty much the same thing Tommy was wearing. Up ahead, walking down the same alley they’d just taken to get to Tommy’s house, was a younger version of himself, all sweaty, shirtless, in shorts and running shoes.
“That’s me on summer break before my senior year in college in Knoxville; I got in on a football scholarship, but I didn’t qualify for the NFL mainly because of what happened a few months before this day you’re seeing. My best friend from school, Mateo, had just died in an accident, and that hit me hard. I couldn’t accept the injustice of the world; first, my mom’s illness, then a stupid accident; it felt like life was just out to punish me. But on that same day, life handed me an unimaginable gift.” He spoke as they approached the backyard of the same house they had just been at. Sitting out front on a bench was a figure that stood out from the rest of the place. An effeminate kid with long blonde hair wearing a feminine outfit—maybe a trans woman? Alexander tried to formulate a question only to realize he was completely unable to speak.
“Hmmm…”
“Let me handle this, Xander. That’s Dylan, one of those weird kids who don’t really know what they are; a rarity around here; you won’t find any of them in town today. I didn’t dislike him; he was polite and considerate, in his last year of school, and undoubtedly eager to leave a place like Bushfield behind once he graduated. Strangely, he and Abby formed a friendship even though she was three years younger than him, and if I could say anything in his favor, it’s that he treated my sister like she was his own. So understand, what you’re about to see was born from frustration and mourning; before this, I might have made a joke or two about the kid, but generally, we treated each other with a modicum of respect. But seeing him there, a dude who refused to be what nature intended, someone who was giving up his masculinity while Mateo, a real man, a warrior, my brother, had left this world, that awakened something in me—an incandescent rage. But not just that; look.”
“What are you doing standing there, fag? We don’t want someone like you dirtying our home and our image.” The younger Tommy said.
“Tommy, come on, that’s not how you…”
“Shut up, you little shit, you fake woman; how can it be that God takes the men and leaves something broken like you…”
“Tommy, that’s enough; you’re not gonna talk to me like that; I get that losing Mateo hit you hard…”
“Don’t you dare say his name with that filthy mouth, you queer… I wish you were like him so I could beat you up and not feel like I’m hitting a woman.”
And then it happened; for a moment, it seemed like Dylan was going to burst into tears, and then, in the blink of an eye, where he had been, was now an older man just past twenty, clearly of Latin descent, with well-defined muscles, a bit dazed for a moment.
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“Mateo?” the younger Tommy asked.
“Hey, I miss him too, bro, but you’re talking to the other twin.” He said with a smile. Then the illusion shattered, and Alexander found himself back in Tommy’s living room, unable to move or speak, just thinking about the impossible thing he’d just witnessed.
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“And that’s how Diego came into my life; what a surprise it was to find out that to the rest of the world, he’d always been Mateo’s identical twin, and any mention of Dylan raised eyebrows and brought laughter; there’d never been one of those in Bushfield. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what happened, without getting any answers. It wasn’t until over a year later, when I was back in town working as an assistant coach at the high school, that the situation recurred. Abby was starting her junior year and got involved with a troubled kid; Hugo Lafévre had transferred from New Orleans and was the worst kind of troublemaker; he organized protests and rallies against everything I’d been taught to value; he was pro-abortion, anti-gun, and railed against what he calls police violence. He had zero respect for authority figures. I had to do something.”
Again, Alexander found himself in a scene against his will. This time, he was wearing a coach’s uniform, just like Tommy was now, as well as a younger version of he, talking to a young black kid who looked at him with a mocking gaze.
“I have no idea what my sister sees in you; you’re insubordinate and disrespectful.”
“You’re just scared of losing control; for people like you, it’s all about control.��
“Without control, our society falls apart.”
“And what’s the problem with that? It’s about time to dismantle the society you’ve built.”
“Then I think it’s about time you man up, kid.”
“We have very different definitions of what it means to be a man… coach.” The kid replied before breaking into laughter, not realizing the fury building in the older man, who seemed ready to pounce on him, but amid the laughter, the boy seemed to get scared, and puff; suddenly, the giant black man Alexander had met earlier stood before the two, resuming the laughter and speaking.
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“… that’s style and lets my abs breathe, and you’re really gonna say anything against a cop, bro? Especially when you need my help to train these little troublemakers; I would’ve been a professional edge rusher if I hadn’t chosen to be a cop.”
“In your dreams, bro…” the younger Tommy replied, still dazed before the image dissolved again.
“It was the transformation of that little shit Hugo into my bro Hunter that made me realize what happened to Dylan wasn’t just a coincidence; I decided I was gonna explore these skills of mine. Slowly, I started hunting down the worst types in town, the punks, the deviants, and the insurgents, and turned them, one by one, into productive members of society. Abby, for her part, finished high school without getting involved with any other undesirable types. But then came her time to go to college; she could’ve gone to Austin or Knoxville, but no, she had to go to the Ivy League, Columbia! What a dumb idea, but my dad agreed, and I wouldn’t dare challenge him. Everything went well for a while, until her first summer break. She showed up here with some older, fat, scruffy dude, who smelled like weed, a wannabe poet who wanted people to call him Sartre; I didn’t even bother to find out his real name; it didn’t matter.
A new vision, quicker than the last. He and Tommy, dressed in Levi's jeans, flannel shirts, and cowboy boots, watched a Tommy dressed exactly like them, who in turn was watching the man Tommy had described, clearly high, turning into the well-groomed blonde guy Alexander met that morning.
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“And that’s how J.P. came to be, John Paul, get it? Bet you thought I was some dumb redneck, didn’t you? By then, I didn’t even need to think much to get what I wanted, and I always made sure to keep Abby’s boyfriends close to me because my sister has a knack for finding the most annoying types who end up becoming my best projects. Now you… with you, she outdid herself… with you, I’m gonna have a blast.” He said with a sinister grin on his face. “You can speak now; the last words of a dying man, or did the cat get your tongue?”
For a moment, it really seemed like Alexander was going to say something, but what came out of his mouth wasn’t words; a slimy piece of flesh he couldn’t tell if it was his tongue or something else pushed its way through his lips, prying his teeth apart in an unnatural way and slithering across his face like a giant worm. Soon after, he felt his abdomen contracting with insane intensity, while his face contorted and his skin burned and bubbled in a transformation much slower and more painful than those he had witnessed; not that he had time to think about that amidst all the agony. As the environment around him seemed to darken, only illuminated by the source of heat he had become. Then the pain in his abdomen became unbearable, and while he squeezed it, desperately seeking some relief, it felt like his hands were sinking and merging into the muscular fabric that had just moments ago seemed so solid. But it wasn’t just his abdomen; his arms and legs grew and bulged as he threw himself forward, trying to puke, only to feel his mouth stretch unnaturally wide, while his expanded body was drenched in sweat that seemed to evaporate instantly, only to be replaced by another torrent. Just like the pain began, it stopped, only to start again within his head; it felt like his brain was melting, thoughts, ideas, his very identity turning to mush. He didn’t even notice he now had well-defined abs and toned arms and legs or that his hair had gone from red to a dark brown almost black, while it was drenched in sweat. His physique was nowhere near the monstrosity that was Tommy and his minions. But that was about to change; as his mind emptied of any memory or sense of reality and he threw himself back, leaning against the chair, his arms grew to monstrous proportions, his abdomen became a brick wall, and his chest swelled, while a beard sprouted on him, and finally his thighs ballooned like cords of pure steel, and his calves achieved the angular form of someone used to pushing them through strenuous workouts, while his feet grew absurdly large, emitting a powerful funk that could only be rivaled by that coming from his armpits.
“Almost there, Zander, bro, almost there.”
Upon hearing that name, his head exploded with images, color, and sound, with memory after memory flooding into his mind in such rapid succession that if any trace of Alexander had remained, it would have been instantly suppressed. Then, much faster and more painlessly than when it began, it ended. Throwing himself back, the brute that had replaced Alexander was panting, grinning stupidly, staring blankly at nothing.
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“Zander, man, you good? Why don’t you take a sip of beer to cool off?” Tommy asked with a seemingly concerned tone as the light returned to the environment, and the brute in front of him seemed to shrink a bit in size while the sweat that was pouring down his body became just a sheen on his bronzed skin, as he automatically lifted the cup of beer to his lips.
“Ahhhh, I really needed that, Tommy, bro. That was a rough night.” The man said with a grin.
“I can imagine from the screams of the chick you had in my guest room. And from your smell, you reek, bro.”
“Hey, the ranch was way out, and you know how my mom is. Plus, you gave me the key to your house and told me I could use it in case of emergency. Damn, I really stink.” He said, scratching his balls over the old, worn-out underwear he was wearing, lifting his hands to his nose and sniffing them before bursting out laughing.
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“Man, an emergency isn’t banging every skank in town in my guest room; you’re lucky my dad didn’t say anything.”
“Uncle Trav doesn’t care about that.”
“Usually not, but it’s not a good idea to do that when his daughter’s at home.”
“Abby’s here? Fuck!”
“As if she didn’t know your habits, man. But I’d be more worried about the fact that you were supposed to be helping my dad with the barbecue and that your mom had to deliver the beer herself; if it weren’t for me and Diego helping out, I’m sure she would’ve stormed the house and dragged you out by your hair.”
“Damn, Zander Dubois, you’re a complete idiot! Man, I need a shower and some borrowed clothes!”
“And what do you think this is on the table, you moron? Don’t worry; we’re the same size.”
“And I didn’t know that? We’ve been borrowing each other’s clothes forever. So who’s the moron, college boy?”
“Get your ass in the shower already, you asshole; I’ll be waiting with a cold beer.”
Zander took a quick shower, knowing it wouldn’t be enough to wash away all the stink from the night before, but he didn’t care as much about that as he did about disappointing Travis; the man had been like a second father to him after his own dad died and helped him with the ranch’s organization while J.P. kept the bills in check. He’d never been the smartest guy, though he knew how to take care of the cattle and the horses, and had his mom’s talent as a brewer. Besides he was one hell of a hunk, of course, he thought while admiring the muscles earned from years of ranch work and playing football in school, the dream of becoming pro ruined by his father’s untimely death and the need to take on his responsibilities, not that he thought he’d have much chance of keeping a decent GPA. But that was all in the past; he had a good life, although his mom bugged him to marry and give her grandkids like Betty had already done, especially since he was the last single guy in his friends group. Worse of all he felt that call every time he played with Austin, the kid would be a hell of a player one day, maybe good enough to achieve what his uncle and dad couldn’t.
“Damn, you are a damn stud, Zander Dubois!” He gratified himself, admiring his muscles in the bathroom mirror before putting on the shorts Tommy had lent him.
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“Thanks, bro!” He said walking in the living room and grabbing the cold beer cup Tommy offered him, taking a long sip, wiping his mouth with his hand, and letting out a small burp.
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“Hey, Abbey Road!” Tommy waved to someone behind him, making him turn around startled. Only to find no one there.
“Asshole!” He said, punching his friend’s arm.
“You should’ve seen your face, bro!” Tommy replied, cracking up, with Zander joining in.
“That was a good one, bro.”
“Put on the shirt and let’s roll; my dad’s waiting!”
…..
“Sorry for the wait, Uncle Trav; I wasn’t feeling well.” Zander said, taking off his shirt and putting on an apron, if Travis Johnson was throwing a barbecue like this, he wouldn’t be the one to break tradition.
“How odd; you seemed pretty lively last night, Zander.” Travis said with a mischievous grin.
“I’m sorry about that; if I’d known Abby was home, I wouldn’t have done what I did.”
“Don’t worry about me, but I gotta say that ain’t gonna win you any points with her.”
“What do you mean?”
“I ain't born yesterday, kid! I see the way you look at her, and all your buddies are already hitched while you’re still bouncing from bar to bar, hooking up with the first girl who crosses your path just to avoid any commitment.”
“I... I…”
“No need to say anything, son; I’d be more than happy to have you as a son-in-law; I’ve watched you grow up and I know what kind of man you are. But I gotta warn you, something tells me Abby's gonna show up here with some slick city boy who thinks he’s hot stuff just ‘cause he came from the big city.”
“Uncle Trav, it’s almost time for her to finish college and she’s gonna be a vet; there’s no better place for her to work than here, have some faith!”
“I have faith, my boy, but a father’s heart doesn’t lie.”
“In that case, you can count on me and the guys to knock some sense into any city punk who shows up around here.”
“I know that, son. Now enough chit-chat; we’ve got plenty of mouths to feed, let’s get to work!”
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In the afternoon, when everyone was well-fed and the booze buzz had taken over a good chunk of the minds present, Zander found himself in the spacious field next to the center, watching kids of all ages play while keeping an eye on Austin and Houston the twelve years old son of his older sister who lived with her husband in Fort Worth so his sisters and brothers-in-law could dance a bit in the hall. And when the not so little guy scored a touchdown in the middle of the fun and ran to hug him, he couldn’t help but feel emotional.
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“It’s about time you had your own.” He turned and came face to face with Diego, who was waving and smiling as he watched his own son run over to Huck and J.P., who at that moment was teaching his kid how to hold the ball properly.
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“You have no idea what that feels like!”
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“Was it my mom or Betty who told you to say that?” He asked, even though he felt a longing inside to be part of that world, to have a little version of himself running around, taking care of the horses, tossing the pigskin in a packed stadium on a Friday night.
“Both!” Diego replied, laughing. “But the boys care about you too, man; what are you waiting for?” He asked as Zander watched Abby play with one of her cousins’ daughters.
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“Sometimes we get so focused on something that we forget to see the bigger picture, bro!” Diego continued, turning Zander towards the dance floor full of young women, some sneaking glances his way. “A guy like you ain’t gonna have any trouble finding the right woman; I’ll keep an eye on Austin and Houston; you take advantage.”
….
After dancing with several of the single ladies at the party, Zander sat down to catch his breath while watching the ebb and flow of people, lowering his glasses and checking out a very interesting girl that passed by. Until a whistle startled him.
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“Zander Dubois, was that you hitting on Caroline Matthews, a girl from a good family?” Someone said, placing a beer cup on his table.
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“What??? Haha, hey Hunter, bro! I'm glad your shift is finally over. And unfortunally, the time to settle down comes for everyone. I want my kids to grow up alongside yours and the other guys’, having the same life I had.”
"So our lone wolf has finally decided to join the pack, thinking about adding a Dallas or a Knox to your mother's list, bro?" Commented Tommy approaching while bringing out snacks and dips and placing them on the table. "The rest of the guys are coming, they're just going to drop the boys off with their moms. We're going to have some boys time. Caroline Matthews then? She's hot, man. But I admit I had hopes between you and Abby."
"Me too, but it's like I said, you and Hunter are going to be parents soon, Huck and Austin are already growing up, I want my kids to grow up with them. And Abby..."
“I get it, man. I just worry about her; she’s always had a strange taste in guys.”
“Your dad mentioned he’s worried she might show up with some stuck-up city slicker.”
“And what did you tell him?”
“That if some snobby city boy shows up here with Abby, you, me and the guys would take care of him, country man style.” Zander replied emphatically.
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“Thanks, man. I know I can always count on you!”
“Dude, we’re family. And one day, Abby’s gonna find a guy who’s just right for her; I’m sure of it.”
“I believe that too, bro. And it’s gonna be someone just like you and me!” Tommy replied with bright smile.
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limes-sagau · 9 months ago
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Starting My Sagau Writing Journey
Ok Im wanting to dip my toes into the Sagau writing scene and I wanted to put out about 3 ideas I have and plan on writing. Each idea will be outlined below and people are welcome to take inspiration off of them just make sure to tag me in the writing. There will also be a poll at the end where you can vote for which one you want to see first. When I finish writing each chapter they will be put up on AO3. 
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Shimeji AU: 
For those who don't know, Shimeji is a browser extension that spawns a chibi version of a character onto your browser. This character can then move around and climb on the borders of your web page and just be a cute little distraction (I know this might sound like malware but its not I've had a Venti and a Lumine Shimegi for a while now and haven't experienced anything that can imply they are malware) 
This would be more of a drabble and less of a full fic. 
Basically the characters in genshin become aware through their Shimeji and then begin acting up in your browser when you're out of the game (when you're in game you're fine).
If you leave your web browser opened when you leave your computer you will come back to it being on a weird page 
Like Venti looking at a wine website 
Diluc somehow ending up on a streaming service watching Batman 
Yae Miko finding your writing 
I'll likely start off with characters from Mondstadt and go down the list for each region.
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Kidnapped by the Harbingers (not the final title): 
Exactly as it sounds, in the middle of the night you are taken from your college dorm (or room I likely won't specify) to Teyvat after the harbingers find a way into our world. 
Haven't decided which harbinger will be sent (leaning towards Childe because I feel like it would fit best and he'd be down for that type of experiment). 
Most of it will take place in a separate castle from Zapolyarny Palace. 
If you want to know my specific location I have in mind their is a visual novel called Dottore And The Spy where you become Dottores apprentice (highly suggest this visual novel) but its main story takes place in a castle in the middle of a frozen wasteland away from civilization where both Pantalon and Dottore live. This will be the main location for the story. 
I'll also be adding in Capitano as another permanent resident of this castle because I want to write about a big strong man who is the emotional intelligence of the three main harbingers present. 
The other harbingers and the Tsaritsa will appear but they will be much more understated in their role.
I want this fanfic to go into the mental load that being locked away from the world has on a person's psyche.
Readers' powers will slowly awaken, making it harder for the Harbingers to keep us a secret from Teyvat and specifically Celestia.
This won't be a full blown yandere fic with the harbingers, they will be slightly possessive but it is more about your safety since Celestia doesn't like you. 
Celestia will be the ultimate enemy over all but the story will not be focused on shooting down Celestia from the sky as readers powers will not ever reach the strength needed to face Celestia alone. 
Harbingers plan will not have changed; they are still working to take down Celestia.   
This will be taking place after Sumeru (so no Scara or La Signora and their will be less clones)
The story will also include 
Getting to know and bond with your castle staff like maids or ladies in waiting (I know these are typically only given to female presenting reader but I want to write about gossip and forming friendships so this is what I'm going with) 
Quality time with each harbinger
Impressing Dottore with your basic levels of knowledge on Astronomy (since Teyvats sky is fake)
Eventually a runaway arch
Lots of tears and mental breakdowns, but don’t worry there will be comfort as well
Shenanigans 
Possibly NSFW after reader finally convinces everyone to stop calling them “your grace”
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To Make a Haven (Title might change):
Imposter (but reader is the real deal) AU
Reader gets killed once by a mob of NPCs 
I want it specifically to be NPCs so the reader still has emotional attachment to the playable characters
Reader seeks out a safe and secluded place  
Teyvat awakens to readers distress and opens up a hidden area of the map to the reader that can only be accessed through very specific means. 
Reader eventually starts bringing in Hilichurls to what for now im going to be calling “the Grove” 
Reader will begin messing around and experimenting with her powers and finds a way to somewhat heal the hilichurls 
This isn't a full fix it will be like layering a curse on top of a curse in order to negate some of the effects of the original curse
The hilicurls will not return to being human they will become something else (human like but not human) 
This fic will contain way more original characters 
Reader will be more spiteful in this fic but less in like a “make everyone suffer” way and more like “lets shake up the system and make everything more challenging for people because they tried to kill me” 
This fic will span over a larger span of time in world with the reader building a full city in the hidden area Teyvat made for them.
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Well those are my three ideas! after this poll is done I'm hoping to get the first chapter out with that week, but I'm a college student and it been a while since I have written fanfiction so i make no promises.
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rtc-graphic-novel · 4 months ago
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welcome to the graphic novelization of ride the cyclone
have you ever wondered what ride the cyclone would look like as a graphic novel? well, so have i. after about a year, i’ve finally decided to at least try to pursue this project. however, i don’t want this graphic novel to be something that only i want to see. therefore, I’m going to set up various polls from time to time to see what you would like to see. this will be a collaboration between me and anyone who answers the polls.
the current timeline for this project consists of a few stages, which will be listed below:
picking the “cast”. for each character, i will be making a poll of as many different actors/actresses that have portrayed the character. whoever wins the poll will be the inspiration for both the characters design and personality.
character sheets. i will be posting character sheets with basic information on each character after the poll is finished, so feel free to send in your hcs/characterizations of the characters
designing the main “set”. much like the characters, i will be making a poll of as many different sets of rtc that i can think of. whichever set wins will be the primary inspiration for the actual setting
writing the script of the graphic novel. while i will likely be sticking very close to the script of the show, i will be making polls on adding scenes, different choreographies, and much much more
creating a model of the main “set”. this will be worked on in tandem with four, however, will likely not be posted/as featured. i will however be posting progress shots along the way.
making the comic. this likely will be the slowest part of the project, but will ideally have the most content posted/created. i also will (hopefully) be making fanart during this project so that way there is still content to be consumed. the posting of pages/chapters will be voted upon in a poll when we are closer to this part of the project
about the author-
hello, i’m aster! (main- @forecast-disaster)
please keep in mind that this is going to be a very long term project and be patient with me. i firstly have a lot of work cut out for me, secondly have little experience in making comics, and thirdly have a life outside of my project, which means that i may not be as speedy quick as a pro webcomic artist
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chiibi-chaan · 1 year ago
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Gojo Satoru//hide, doll.
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Content warnings// DARK CONTENT, +18 (minors dni), afab!reader (non uses of specific pronouns), ghostface!Gojo Satoru, yandere!Gojo Satoru, stalking, obsessive behavior, mention of murders, Y/n is threatened, manipulation, pet names (baby, doll, angel, my love), breaking into Y/N’s house, hide and seek (fear play?), knife play, dirty talk, blood kink, injuries, cunnilingus, slight choke kink, dub-con at first, unprotected sex, hidden camera.
Word count// 4.2K
Synopsis//He needed you, to the point of becoming crazy, to the point of killing. He wanted to grave his name into your skin, marking you forever, leaving a trace of his own existence directly into your body. You were his, his pretty doll… and you looked even more beautiful now that he had drawn his own art into your flesh, you were his perfect canvas.
A/n// NOT PROOFREAD (I'll correct it later). I apologize if there are mistakes, I had to publish this like 5 days ago but the whole thing was deleted by Tumblr because the app crashed before I could save my work, and I had exams too- I apologize to the people who were waiting for this, and I'll certainly write this week about the winner of the list some of you voted for (Sugar daddy!Toji is the winner for now, there's only one day left!)
JUJUTSU KAISEN MASTERLIST. MASTERLIST.
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It was finally Friday, and after such a long week of work, you needed to rest for at least the whole weekend. You didn’t plan to go outside, mostly because of the last events that occurred in the city where you lived. Indeed, a serial killer sowed discord in the streets, slashing innocent people in the most atrocious way. Most of the victims were acquaintances of yours, not close friends, but people you knew and to whom you would say good morning when you met them. You lived in a small town where everyone knew each other, and the thought that this killer could be one of your friends, was frightening. You couldn’t even walk in the streets without being paranoid, after all, without their mask, the killer could be anyone and anywhere. When you weren’t working, you stayed in your house, making sure that everything was locked and that the house was secured. The only people that you would let in your house were your parents and your best friend, but lately you didn't have the chance de see either of them. At least, your best friend was coming for a sleep over. You needed to relax, and it was the best way to forget everything that was happening. Even though you knew that a murderer was out there, you had this innocent idea that they wouldn't come for your life, because you weren't a bad person, just a normal office worker. How naive were you to believe that. You were the perfect prey, the perfect victim, a weak and ignorant person who wasn't paying enough attention to their surroundings, even if you tried, it wasn't enough, and it was clear that nothing you would do would be enough. Unfortunately, that simple mistake, was going to cost you more than you could give.
Soon, you received a text from your best friend, telling you that something came up and that you'll have to see each other another time. You sighed, closing your eyes and tilting your head back. It seemed like you'll be alone another night in your house. You stood up, quickly making sure that your front door was locked before walking to the bathroom, taking a quick shower. After putting on a comfortable shirt and shorts, you went back to the first floor, heading to the kitchen to make yourself popcorn that you were going to eat while watching a movie. Suddenly, your landline phone started ringing, startling you. You sighed, frowning a little and answering the call.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Y/n."
You raised your eyebrows, frowning even more as you didn’t recognise the deep, low voice talking to you, and yet, it seemed like the man at the other end of the call knew you. You sat on the kitchen’s counter while the popcorn were in the microwave.
"Who is this?"
"Mmh… A very, very bad guy."
"Don’t you have anything else to do? It’s late already, stop wasting my time."
"I have a question for you. What is our favorite scary movie?"
"It's not funny, you think that you're something, acting like that sick murderer just for a little prank?You're pathetic."
"If you hang up, I’ll—"
You didn’t listen anymore, hanging up before he could finish his sentence. That call clearly made you in a bad mood; with everything that was happening, dumb kids still made pranks like this? The only thing that bothered you was the fact that he knew your name, but except that, you didn’t pay anymore attention to it, or at least, until a few seconds later. The landline phone rang again, making you frown and glare at it in silence until it stopped. You thought that the person would get bored and stop, but you were wrong, it kept ringing, again and again, until you had enough and answered again.
"What is wrong with you?! Leave me alone!"
"If you fucking hang up on me or ignore me again, I’ll gut you like a fish."
Your hand almost let go of the phone in shock, your eyes widening and you body becoming stiff on the counter as you heard his low voice threatening you.
"W-What?"
"I’m sorry, Y/N. You made me lose my temper for a second."
"Are you crazy? You’re clearly sick! I don’t even know you and yet you’re here, threatening me and harassing me? Leave me alone if you don’t want me to call the police!"
You said with a loud yet trembling voice, ready to hang up again but stopping in your track when you heard him yell, your body stiffening even more and your blood running cold.
"Do you think I’m joking, Y/n? Oh, no… no, no, no… I can see you, doll… you’re so pretty, sitting on this counter like that… are you waiting for me? You can just open the door and I’ll keep you company…"
You gulped, looking up at the window of the kitchen just in front of you, only seeing darkness outside. But you knew that if you could only see shadows, the man staring at you outside could see you perfectly in the light of the room. You stood up, your legs a little weak and your hand trembling a little as you held the phone to your ear, your voice not about a murmur as you whispered;
"W-What do you want?"
"I want to play a game with you, doll… nothing too difficult."
"Will you let me live if I do…?"
"If you win, I will. It’s a real simple game, doll. You just need to be quick and smart, but you’re such a perfect girl, I’m sure that you can go beyond my expectations."
"What is the game?"
"Hide and seek. I’ll let you some time so that you can hide… and then, I’ll come in and look for you. If I can’t find you, you win… but if I do…"
He simply chuckled, his deep, husky voice sounding like a threat against your ear. What did he mean by that? He was going to come in? In your house? You gulped and looked through the window again.
"And don’t think about calling the police, doll… if you do, I’ll have to kill you. Now, you have five minutes to hide. I won’t cheat, promise."
You could hear the smirk in his voice and a little scream escaped from you mouth as the electricity in the house has suddenly been turned off. You gripped the landline phone tightly and ran upstairs to your bedroom. Your closet had a false wall, which no one knew the existence except your parents and best friend, and you planned to hide there. You were sure that this crazy man wouldn’t be able to find you. You removed the false wall of the closet, holding the wooden plank in your hands and sitting inside the closet, fitting just right into the hole behind your clothes. You put back the false wall in place and waiting, holding the phone to your ear again and listening to the his voice, he was still counting, and you shivered as you heard him finally pronouncing 300. You gulped nervously, trying to control your breathing while he spoke again.
"Ready or not, I'm coming to find you, doll."
You trembled as you heard a loud crash downstairs, he was really in the house, it seemed like he broke a window to come in. You could hear him chuckle softly, as if he found all this funny. For him, it was just a child play, but for you, it was a deadly game, your life was at stake. And unfortunately, fate wasn’t by your side today. You could hear his heavy footsteps as he goes up the stairs, he didn’t even lose time looking for you on the first floor. Maybe he thought that you would instinctively go upstairs as a way to change position in the house, or he just knew from the beginning where you were. And if it was the latter, you were sure that you would not be able to escape, not even if you tried to put up a fight.
"I hope you are still listening, doll… because I have a little surprise for you. I’m sure that you won’t answer me, since you’re supposed to be hiding and stay quiet, but I really miss hearing your voice. I can say, without doubt, that you’re curious about who I am, after all, we live in a small town, where everyone knows each other, but here I am, killing the people I saw all my life. Isn’t it ironical?"
You could hear him chuckle, before he became silent for a few seconds. And as you listened carefully, you heard him stop walking, the sound of his footsteps stopping right in front of your bedroom’s door. You closed your eyes tightly, praying that he wouldn’t find you, that you will win the game, or at least that he will be merciful enough to let you. But you were wrong, so wrong.
"You know, at first, I tried control it. This urge, this consuming thirst of blood… of death. I had this small part of my brain telling me that all of this was so, so wrong, and which made me feel even more guilty. But desire takes over everything, and soon, what held me from killing disappeared, engulfed by that other part of me, more cruel, more evil. So, I started to kill. I killed the people getting in my way. And I’m sure that you’re even more confused. I mean, why you? Why am I telling you this? Why am I doing this? The answer is very simple; it’s all for you, for us."
Your blood ran cold and you froze, your hand trembling as you held the phone tightly Your mind was completely blurred by insane thoughts, and as if the time stopped, as if only him and you existed, you understood. Tears formed in your eyes and a small sob escaped from your mouth as you tried to forget, to not think about what you feared the most. You didn’t want to believe it, to even think about it, but you couldn’t stop yourself, you couldn’t chain that dreadful realisation in the back of your head, like it never existed. And as the door of your room opened, the slow creaking of the wood making your heart beat in your temples and the sound of his steps echoing between the walls and in your ears like a drum of death, you couldn’t deny it anymore. Tears rolled down your cheeks and you looked up slowly, sobbing quietly as the sound of the closet opening was heard, before the false wall hiding you was slowly removed. And as your eyes met the dark chasms that were his eyes, or more precisely the eyes of his mask, you cried even more.
"hello, doll. Did you miss me?"
He whispered softly, chuckling behind his mask and crouching in front of you, his hand slowly playing with a dagger. Now, you could finally guess who it was, you could be sure of it. You could recognise his voice without even trying, this voice you heard all your life, since your childhood and until now. You knew this man, but the realisation that you actually didn’t was even more difficult to swallow.
"W-Why?"
"Because I can, and because I want to."
He simply answered, and before you could react, his fingers were already wrapped around your ankle, pulling you out of your hiding place and of the closet. You gasped, the back of your head and your back hitting the floor. You tried to fight back, but he was much stronger than you, his hand gripping one of your wrist and his other holding the blade of his dagger to your throat. You trembled, slowly calming down as I felt the weapon cutting my skin slightly, blood dribbling down my neck. He pulled back slightly, still holding the dagger to your neck and removing his mask with the other hand, provoking a small sob from your mouth as you saw his face, this face that you knew so well; the face of your best friend.
"S-Satoru... please, stop..."
"I can't stop, Y/n. It's too late. But you'll forgive me, right? You love me, doll... You can jut stay by my side and I'll protect you from all the disgusting men looking at you the wrong way."
"W-What? You killed them just for this? Satoru, you're delusional!"
"You think I'm crazy, right? You think I'm sick? but I'm not, I did this because I love you too, Y/n. It's my job to protect you, because I'm your everything, I'm the only person you can love besides your parents. They love me too, and they can't wish for a better husband for you, I'm the best choice! I'm rich, I'm handsome, strong, smart and funny. I can make you happy, your know that. So don't push me away, my love."
A small gasp escaped from your mouth once again as he pressed the dagger harder against your skin, your breath hitching and your hands holding on his black cloak. You then whimpered, trying to make him listen to you.
"Y-You're hurting me, 'toru..."
"I'm sorry, baby. But it's not by whining that I'll trust you. Unfortunately for you, I'm not an idiot, I may be I love, crazy in love, but I'm still smart enough to see what you are trying to say. "
"P-please, just put the knife away, you're scaring me..."
He sighed and nodded slowly, putting the dagger in a pocket of his cloak, away from your eyes. You closed your eyes in relief, but yet again, you couldn't think about relaxing with an insane murderer in front of you. Satoru ran his fingers through his silver hair, his baby blue eyes looking down at you. He leaned forward again, his hand wrapping around your neck, his thumb trailing along the small cut he made and wiping the blood. His eyes stared back into your eyes and he sucked his thumb with a slight smirk, licking your blood.
"You forgive me, baby? I just got a little excited... I wanted to taste you for so long, I'm almost desperate."
He chuckled, his hands gripping your hips and pulling you against him, lifting you lower body off the floor. he buried his face in your neck, his tongue slowly licking your cut, making you shiver and feeling things that you were ashamed of; your body stiffening and a small gasp coming out of your mouth. You could feel him smile against your skin, his hands running along your thighs and squeezing your hips gently. But even though he did this, you didn't do anything to stop him. You knew it was wrong, so wrong, and yet you still couldn't truly believe it, you couldn't accept that he was a murderer, that the man you've known all your life, the man you trusted and loved, killed people. You couldn't even deny the words he said earlier; he was handsome, smart... He described himself perfectly, and until now, you really thought that he was. Your heart started beating faster, bumping madly against your rib cage. Your hand gripped his hair, pulling his head away from your neck, your eyes hooded with a mix of desire and embarrassment.
"Satoru, it's... it's wrong..."
"It isn't, baby... just relax. let me take care of you..."
"but..."
"shh... trust me, okay? I can make you feel good..."
He kissed you softy, his hands holding your thighs around his waist, his hips slowly grinding against yours. You could feel the bulge of his erection straining against his pants and pressed against your crotch. Satoru smiled, his hands pulled your panties down your legs and he looked down at your exposed cunt, biting his lips softly before trailing his fingers along your folds, feeling your wetness against his fingertips.
"You're so wet, doll... You want me, don't you? Say it for me..."
"I...!"
Your lips parted and you let out a small gasp, his thumb rubbing your clit gently and his middle finger and forefinger slipping into your hole. Your thighs clenched around his waist and you moaned, your eyes almost rolling back when he curled his fingers up, pressing against your g-spot. He hummed softly, his lips trailing along your jawline and your throat while he pumped his fingers in and out of you, his cock pulsing in his pants with each sweet moans coming out of your mouth or even the lewd and wet sounds your cunt let out as he fingered you. His free hand removed your shirt quickly, and he sat back a little, taking in the sight of your breasts and of your whole naked body. He pulled his fingers out of you and lifted you up in his arms, carrying you to the bed while kissing you passionately.
"You’re too good for me, baby… fuck, I know I don’t deserve you, I really do. And it hurts so much to be aware of that. But let me be selfish one more time, Y/n. Let me have you, let me taste you, let me make love to you, just let me love you."
He said softly, his voice not higher than a whisper softly as he rested his forehead against yours, laying you down on the bed and hovering over you, his forearms on each sides of your head keeping him up so that he wouldn’t crush you with his body. He sounded desperate, wounded by having to admit this aloud. He looked vulnerable, almost pitiful, and you couldn’t prevent yourself from feeling touched by his words. You pulled him closer, pushing aside all the things that happened today and all the things you discovered and just hugging him tight, melting in the warmth of his body and nuzzling your face into his neck, accepting how weak you were for him, forgiving and forgetting all the things he did, just because you loved him. He kissed the cut on your throat again and pressed his hips against your bare cunt, grinding against you and grunting softly.
"I wanna hear you, baby… please, I need you… say it for me, yeah? Let me hear your sweet voice, tell me you want me, tell me you want me to make love to you… I’ll make you feel so good, I promise…"
"Please, ‘toru… I want you too…"
"That’s right, baby… you’re so perfect, my sweet angel…"
He whispered and pulled back, quickly pulling his black cloak over his head along with his shirt, exposing his bare chest and chiseled stomach. You whimpered softly at the sight, your hands gently brushing against his skin, stroking delicately the scars on his skin. You looked up at him, meeting his eyes which were already staring right at you. He leaned forward and kissed your forehead softly before removing his pants too, only keeping on his boxers, which looked tight and uncomfortable due to his erection. His hands then held your thighs, pushing them apart as he laid down between them, his face close to your cunt. He looked up at you with hooded eyes, his hot breath caressing your sensitive skin and he pressed a gentle kiss on your inner thigh, his mind already completely clouded by the scent of you, by your mesmerising beauty and simply by you whole. Then, he finally put his mouth where you needed him the most, his eyes half closed as he looked at your every reactions while his tongue lapped at your folds, licking and swallow your wetness while his nose rested against your clit, his tongue pushing into your hole slightly, teasing you. Your heart pulsed faster into your chest as you tried to hold the eye contact, your face becoming hot with embarrassment and desire as you took in the sight of him, of his head buried between your thighs and his mouth eating you out almost desperately while his mesmerising eyes looked straight back at you. You moaned his name, one of your hands gently gripping his hair while the other held on the sheets tightly. He took only mere minutes to make you come undone on his tongue, moaning himself against your core while grinding himself against the mattress, his hands gripping your thighs firmly as he sucked on your pulsing clit, his lips and chin glistening with your slick.
"F-Fuck, you taste so good, baby… could make me cum in my boxers like some virgin high school boy…"
Satoru whined softly, kissing your clit one last time before pulling away, his tongue running along his lips and licking your juices. He quickly pulled down his pants, along with his boxers, and sighed as his member sprung free, no more confined by its contraints. A small gasp escaped from your mouth at the sight of his cock, much thicker than you had imagined, his pinkish tip dribbling with precum. He pumped himself in his fist, groaning softly and being his bottom lip. You stared at him with hooded eyes, gasping softly when he rubbed the head of his cock against your folds, pushing between them ad gliding it along your slit.
"Do you want it, doll? Do you want my cock inside your pretty cunt, mmh?"
You could feel your face radiating with heat, your body even hotter with boiling arousal. You nodded slightly, not trusting your voice as your mouth let out a moan when his tip teased your clit, rubbing against it. You whimpered softly, your body stiffening as you felt him slowly pushing inside of you, his thick cock filling you up to the brim.
"f-fuck, fuck...! I love you, baby... o-oh god, you can't even imagine h-how much I dreamed about having this sweet little pussy around my c-cock..."
Satoru stammered, his dick twitching inside of you while he clenched his teeth. he could barely stay sane at this point, his mind completely foggy with lust and euphoria as he tried to stay still so that you could adjust to his size. You gasped for air, your back slightly arched and your eyes rolling back as you felt his tip kissing your cervix, small whimpers escaping from your mouth. Soon, he started moving, each thrusts of his hips sending your mind into a storm of bliss, your mouth agape and your nails scratching and digging into his back while he pounded into you, losing control over himself.
"you feel so good, baby... so much better than what I could ever imagine..."
He grunted, his face buried in your neck, his teeth digging into your skin hard enough to leave a mark, his breathing becoming ragged and heavy. He moaned as loud as you, his hands gripping your hips, your ass and your thighs desperately, anything that could ground him and keep him wrapped in your warmth.
"I w-want you, fuck...! Y-You're mine, doll. Do you understand? A-All... mine."
He whined into your ear, practically rutting against you like a dog, his voice shaking as he babbled incoherently into your neck. He could already feel himself getting closer to orgasm, one of his hand resting against your lower belly and his thumb rubbing your clit furiously. His trembling voice begged you to come with him, he needed to feel your pussy clenching and convulsing around his cock before thinking about allowing himself his own release. A loud cry of his name echoed in the room as you felt your orgasm overwhelming your nerves and muscles, your eyes rolling back and your back arching, pressing your breasts against his chest. He moaned, one of his hands wrapping around your neck and squeezing your throat enough to make you lightheaded, the bliss and lack of oxygen making everything even more overwhelming. He kept thrusting sloppily into your sensitive pussy, his free hand gripping the knife in the pocket of his cloak while you weren't even able to see. He licked his lips, pressing the tip of the knife against your skin, drawing the initials of his name on your lower belly. You couldn't even feel the pain, too focused on how his cock was ravaging your insides to the point of making you mindless. His cock pulled inside of you at the sight of the two bloody letters graved into your skin, his eyes rolling back as he buried himself deep inside of you, releasing his cum in your womb. His body trembled a little and he held you tight against him, breathing heavily against your neck. After a few seconds, he looked at you, a small smile stretching his lips as he saw you passed out, sleeping peacefully with his cock still deep inside of you. He whispered softly, nuzzling his face into your neck and closing his eyes, resting against your body a few minutes, before standing up, pulling back on his clothes and cleaning you up as best as he could. Then, he kissed you tenderly and covered you with a blanket before glancing at your desk against the wall, smirking as he saw the cute teddy bear he got you as a gift. He walked to it and took it in his hand, staring at one of the eyes of the stuffed animal and winking at it. It seemed like he now had a really good video about you both, which he would certainly watch when he missed you... His sweet and dumb doll.
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