#that part at the end starting at 12.30 is my favorite

[swallowedabug]

In this interview, shortly before debuting their brand new 'In Cauda Venenum' material for the first time. I spoke to Mikael Åkerfeldt about perfection, Opeth and language.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Serendipity - Part II. (Harry Styles)

a/n: hello lovelies! thank you so much for the likes and reblogs on the first part, i hope you are enjoying the ride so far! here is part 2 for yall and as always, i would LOVE to read your comments and feedbacks!

pairing: Harry x OC (Annalise Lloyd)

word count: 8k

SERIES MASTERPOST  ⚫️ my masterlist  ⚫️  come and talk to me about Serendipity!  

Serendipity (n.) Finding something good without looking for it.

Annalise finishes up the lasagna with shredding some cheese on the top before sliding it right into the oven, listening to Benji reading up the text from his book, struggling with some longer words, but then manages to put it together in his head at the end. The doorbell rings and she tosses the dirty dishes into the sink.

“Good job, Benji. Read that last part,” she smiles down at the boy, sitting at the kitchen island, his legs dangling, hanging down on the tall stool, arms placed on the counter, his eyes following the lines.

“…However… the rabbit… slept longer…” Benji carries on as Annalise walks to the door, already knowing who’s gonna stand on the other side.

“Hi girl!” Chloé smiles at her upon pulling her into a hug before she walks in.

“Hey, I just put the lasagna in,” she smiles back at her best friend.

“Oh, amazing! Hi Benji! How is my favorite little dude?” Chloé scruffs his light brown locks, the little boy smirking up at her as she sits on the stool next to him.

“Hi Chloé! Wanna see my new dinosaur?” he asks, excitement sparkling in his eyes.

“Well of course! You know I love dinosaurs!” she cheers and Benji is already about to climb off the stool, but she stops him.

“Hey, what about reading? Have you finished?”

The look in his eyes tells her the truth that he hasn’t reached the end yet, he sucks his lips into his mouth, trying his best not to smile slyly. She can’t help but chuckle and shake her head at him.

“Okay, you can go,” she sighs and he is fast to shut the book and jolt upstairs to get his newest toys. Annalise just stares after him with a delighted smile.

“So what’s up? I can tell something happened today,” Chloé starts, leaning on her elbows on the counter, eyes examining her friend.

“How can you tell?” she chuckles furrowing her eyebrows as she puts away the leftover ingredients.

“I can see that little shine in your eyes,” she grins pointing at her. “So spill it!”

Sighing she washes her hands and dries them on the kitchen towel before she leans against the counter, folding her arms on her chest.

“Remember the guy I met on New Year’s Eve?” Chloé’s eyes light up at the mention of the mystery guy Annalise met a while ago, but she didn’t tell much about him, just that they had a great time and he kissed her. She was also mad at her when she found out she didn’t even give him her number, but has gotten herself over it by now.

“The musician? Of course!”

“Alright, so there are two things about him,” she starts, wanting to come clear, but right as she would continue, Benji appears, holding his latest toy, a vicious looking T-Rex in his hands.

“Chloé! Look!” he beams, handing her the figure.

“Oh, wow! This looks so cool! Does it have a name?”

“I call him Reggie!” Benji proudly states, making both women smile, because only he would name a murderous dinosaur Reggie.

“Love it, Bud. I’m almost jealous!” Benji grins up at her, hugging the toy to his chest.

“Hey, Benji, why don’t you go watch the telly a little, so we can talk over here?” Annalise asks and he surely likes the idea.

“Bye!” he sings running off without a question and a few moments later they hear the telly turning on with whatever cartoon he has turned on this time. Chloé turns back to Annalise, eager to hear what she has to tell.

“So hot guy musician, go on,” she gestures as Annalise leans onto the kitchen island across her.

“Hot guy musician’s name is Harry Styles,” she mumbles, lowering her voice, as if someone else was around and could hear her say that. At the same time, Chloé’s eyes basically leave his sockets, widened to the point where Annalise thinks she completely zoned out.

“What the fuck?” she whisper-yells, careful not to let Benji hear her cursing. “Lis! That’s like a major point you left out!”

“I know! I just… I never thought I would ever see him again, so I thought I would keep it to myself.”

“Wait, so you met him?” she gasps, almost falling off the stool, making Annalise laugh.

“I ran into him at Tesco today. Totally randomly in the cereal aisle.”

“Oh my God, I think I’m gonna have a heart attack,” Chloé gasps, placing her hands on her chest, taking some deep breaths. “So what happened? Did he recognize you or what? Wait! You were with Benji?” she gasps again and Annalise nods shortly. “You said you didn’t tell him you had a kid, oh my god!”

“It was so fucking awkward, I wanted to die,” Annalise chuckles awkwardly. “He came up to me all nice and flirty and I was in full panic mode and he was telling me how I didn’t give him my number and then Benji ran up to me calling me mummy.”

“Jesus, I wish I was there to witness it,” Chloe snorts and Annalise gives her a look, though she sees why she finds it funny, she is just not there yet to laugh about it. “What did he do?”

“I sent off Benji to get something and tried to explain it, he was shocked, to say the least. But he was more upset about the fact that I didn’t tell him, rather than that I was a mother. He thought I was married and that’s why I ran off.”

“Can’t blame him, would have definitely crossed my mind too,” Chloé comments with raised eyebrows. “So what else happened?”

“He was desperate to get my number, like literally desperate. When I paid, I could see the panic in his eyes that I’ll flee before he could pay his stuff and come after me. Felt bad for him, so I waited for him.”

“Oh my! You were giving him a chance already!” she cheers and Annalise shakes her head.

“I was not! I wasn’t planning to do anything!”

“Oh but you were. You can deny it all you want, but I can see right through you,” Chloé snorts and Annalise just rolls her eyes at her. “Okay, so what happened then?”

“He convinced me to give him my number. But I told him I’m not looking to date, he said he just wants to be friends. For now.”

“The dude wants to fuck the shit out of you.”

“Chlo!” you snap at her, glancing in the way of the living room, making sure Benji didn’t hear her.

“What? It’s the truth!” she laughs, clearly enjoying the sight of you all blushed and nervous.

“Well, that’s not gonna happen. I’m not getting myself into anything.”

“You mean a nice, satisfying relationship with a clearly amazing guy who is on his knees already for you? Yeah, sounds horrible,” she scoffs, earning another hard look from Annalise.

“No one is talking about relationships. Maybe he does just want to fuck,” she answers with a shrug.

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Chloé,” she sighs shaking her head.

“I know, I know. You are pretending to be a nun just because you have a kid. I get it.”

Annalise rolls her eyes at her, taking a glance at the oven to make sure the dinner hasn’t burned down yet. It’s clear that the two of them are not on the same page when it comes to Harry. Chloé understands her closed-up behavior when it comes to dating, but she thinks Annalise is taking it a little too far, while Annalise thinks it’s perfectly fine to shut every male out of her life.

Just as they settle in a short silence, Annalise’s phone lights up with a buzz, signaling that she got a text. They both turn in its direction immediately, Annalise’s stomach dropping before her eyes snap at her friend.

“Is that him?” she asks, urging her friend to check the sender. Annalise walks over and grabbing the phone from the counter her lips part seeing the name on the screen.

Harry: Hope you haven’t spiraled and regretted giving me your number just yet.

“What’s he saying?” Chloé asks in excitement.

“Just… asking if I’ve regretted giving him my number.”

“Tell him you want to suck his di—“

“Don’t you dare finish that,” she warns her, typing her response to the text.

Lis: I’m sorry, who is this?

Harry: … very funny!

Lis: Sorry, I had to. And no, I haven’t regretted it, though I’m close to spiraling.

Harry: Oh no, then I have to do something about that quickly!

“You cheeky slut,” Chloé murmurs right from behind her, making her jump, because she didn’t realize she was standing there.

“Fuck, don’t scare me like that!” she scolds her before returning to the text thread. “And I’m not a cheeky slut.”

“Yeah, you are. Totally flirting with him.”

“We have very different definitions of flirting then.”

Harry: When do you have lunch break tomorrow?

Lis: Usually around 12.30

Harry: text me the address, I’ll be there

“Shit, he wants to have lunch with me tomorrow,” she sucks on her breath looking up at Chloé, who read the whole thing shamelessly over her shoulder.

“So what?”

“Should I say yes?” Annalise looks at her in panic, feeling like a lost, nervous teenage girl.

“Oh my God! If you don’t say yes I’m gonna literally murder you, Lis!” she groans, her head falling back in annoyance.

“Alright, alright! No need to be so harsh!” She quickly turns her attention back to the screen and just sends the address without a comment. No reply comes, he just likes the message.

“I hope he fucks you in a restaurant toilet,” Chloé bluntly comments, making Annalise’s jaw drop.

“You are so vulgar, I shouldn’t even let you into this household with that dirty mouth of yours!”

“Oh come on, I know it took you years to stop cursing around Benji, I’m pretty sure one of his first words were fuck.”

“That is not true! I hate you, why are we even friends?” Annalise grimaces, grabbing her oven mittens to check on the lasagna.

“Because I’m fun, I’m honest and I babysit for you sometimes,” Chloé lists with a proud smile on her face as Annalise pulls the dish out of the oven, the warm smell of the fresh lasagna immediately filling the kitchen.

“Right, remind me of that more often, please.”

They set the table together and Lis calls for Benji, who abandons the couch without a word. Annalise has always been grateful for having such an unproblematic boy. Becoming a mother at such a young age, she had many doubts and fears about how things would turn out and the worst was that she would somehow ruin him, watch him turn into a deviant, low-life criminal. Though Benji is only six and a lot can happen in his life that lies ahead of him, Annalise has been feeling a sense of relief whenever she looked at him. The way he handles his everydays, doing what he is told to do right away without a second guess or throwing a fuss, it makes her think that maybe, probably… hopefully she did a good job raising him. As a single parent, having been one for years now, this is all she wishes above all the happiness in the world for her son. 

The three of them sit at the small dining table, eating dinner while Benji rambles about how excited he is about the field trip that’s coming up soon, his teacher is taking the whole class to the zoo and Benji is over the moon to see his favorite animals up close.

“Which one do you want to see the most?” Chloé questions, pointing her fork at the boy.

“Giraffes and the monkeys!” Benji cheers, bringing a smile to his mother’s face, seeing him so enthusiastic about it. She knows that Benji doesn’t just want to see the animals, but can’t wait to learn about them. He is a curious little guy, Annalise knows that already.

Chloé helps to clean up the kitchen and they hang around the living room a little longer before it’s nearing Benji’s bedtime. Annalise walks her friend out, hugging her goodbye at the front door, but before Chloé could leave, she turns back around and gives a hard look to Lis.

“I’m serious about this whole Harry situation. Please don’t close up entirely, alright? You deserve to have some fun, get to know him better. You could never know what’ll turn it out to be.”

“That’s what scares me,” she mumbles quietly, eyes fixated on her feet. “Not knowing how it’ll end.”

“Take the chance. Live a little. You haven’t since… graduation?”

Annalise keeps quiet, biting the inside of her cheeks. She hasn’t let herself completely relax since she found out she was pregnant. Being barely out of high school, having to deal with the fact that she would be a somewhat teenmom was shocking enough for her to regulate her whole life to the point where she couldn’t even remember the last time she actually enjoyed herself without a worry. That night in the pub, Harry managed to make her feel that sense of freedom. Like she could finally let go of everything that keeps her tied down into this strictness in her everydays. For one night, she had no worries, no fears, she just allowed herself to be… herself. Her old self for once.

“You deserve it, Lis. Don’t convince yourself that you don’t.”

She just nods without a word and lets Chloé embrace her in another hug before she walks down the stairs of the small townhouse and makes her way home with one last wave in her direction at the door.

Annalise’s proudest achievement is that even with a child and being a single mom, she managed to get a college degree and score a job she actually likes. No, she adores what she does. As a caretaker at a retirement home. She works from nine in the morning until four in the afternoon. Her boss let her have those one hours bunch up and get pushed back to Saturdays so she could drop Benji off at school easier on weekdays. Having to work on Saturdays weren’t a big deal, because Benji usually came with her, have the best time with the elders in the home while Annalise worked, they even helped him with homework. They would have lunch somewhere after work and have the rest of the day to themselves. 

Going to work the next day Annalise can’t push her excitement down, thinking about seeing Harry later that day. Arriving to the home she is immediately met with Eloise and Bart, one of her favorite pairs in the home. The old woman’s eyes light up the moment Annalise walks through the door and she greets her brightly.

“My Darling! Good morning!” she beams as Annalise approaches them. “How are you?”

“I’m splendid, how about you, Elly?”

“Fantastic. Bart promised me to take a walk in the park today, right Bart?”

The quiet man nods with a shy smile. They are quite the pair, Annalise always thought. Elly being a chatty, lively, social butterfly, while Bart was more the kind to stand behind and let his lady shine and Annalise always found that endearing. 

“How is Benji?” Bart questions shortly.

“He’s good, getting better with reading day by day,” she smiles.

“I can sense something on you, Darling,” Elly comments, narrowing her makeup-covered eyes at Annalise. “There’s a little sparkle in your eyes, want to share what that’s about?”

Annalise chuckles shaking her head. Nothing and no one can fool Elly, she reads people like she does with the morning paper, easily seeing through them without a fuss.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” she smiles, though they both know it’s a lie, but Elly lets it slip.

Annalise says goodbye to them and heads to the dressing room to get ready for the day. Though all her thoughts were about Harry in the morning, once she gets down to work she easily shifts her focus back on her tasks. The hours slip by faster than she expected, always having to do something, and before she notices, there’s only ten more minutes till the time she told Harry she’d be getting her lunch break.

She finishes up changing the sheets in one of the rooms, drops off the dirty ones at the washing room before heading back to the break room to collect herself a little before Harry arrives. She thinks it’s silly, but she feels like an excited little girl with a crush, finally seeing her favorite boy on the playground. She never bothered to lie to herself about how attracted she is to Harry, because it’s quite obvious. She’s just still not sure what she really expects from the situation on her hands.

She pulls her hair tie out of her ponytail, letting her hair fall to her shoulders in loose waves. Tapping under her eyes she gets rid of a mascara smudge, fixing up her makeup quickly before she takes one last look at herself in the mirror. She is definitely not trying to look like she wants to impress the man, but she doesn’t want to look like a mess either.

Her phone vibrates in the pocket of her light pink scrubs and fishing the device out her heart leaps upon seeing the sender of the text message.

Harry: I’m right outside.

Lis: Coming!

She pulls on her knitted sweater she wore in the morning and throws on her coat before grabbing her wallet and heading out. 

“I’m eating out today, I’ll be back soon,” she calls out at the station downstairs where some of her colleagues are seated. They all smile back at her, carrying on with their work as she walks out the double doors of the home. 

Her eyes immediately find the tall frame leaning against the little gate that separates the foregarden of the home from the street. Harry is dressed in a pair of black pants and a navy blue sweater under his black coat, a pair of sunglasses covering his intent green eyes. 

“Hi,” he greets her, his smile bringing his dimples out as he watches her walk out the small gate and stand in front of him.

“Hey. Found the place easily?” she asks with a soft smile.

“Yeah, it was all good. Ready to leave?”

“Yes, but I need to be back in an hour.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” Harry smiles and walks her over to the black Range Rover parked at the sidewalk, opening up the passenger side for her. She mumbles a quiet thank you sitting inside and once Harry is behind the wheel too, she turns to him feeling her nerves creeping up on her neck like it’s the first time they are seeing each other.

“Where are we heading?” she asks, but Harry just smiles in her way starting the car and leaving from the home.

“You’ll see.”

Harry effortlessly strikes up a conversation, asking Annalise about how long she’s been working at the home and why she chose it. She finds herself easily sharing all the information.

“I’ve been working at Golden Sunshine for about three years now. I absolutely love it, my boss is very flexible and understanding, which is kind of essential in my… situation.” 

“And why did you choose to be a caretaker?”

“I don’t know, I was always told that I’m great with taking care of others and I think I’m patient, which is great when you work with elders, especially when they have different health problems, having a hard time remembering simple things. You can’t imagine how many times I need to introduce myself to residents that’s been living there for years,” she chuckles softly. “But it’s alright. I like helping them, making these last chapters of their life as peaceful and comfortable as possible.”

Harry glances in her way with a genuine smile and he needs to push down the sudden urge to envelope her in his arms. He is fascinated by how big of a heart Annalise has and that she’s not afraid to share it.

“I bet they all love you,” he smirks, glancing at her shortly.

“I guess,” she shyly shrugs. “Though I think they love Benji more.”

Her smile fades for a moment. She can’t help but feel nervous to bring Benji up in front of Harry. She still doesn’t know for sure how he really feels about him and she is not trying to be the kind of mother who can’t talk about anything else than her kid.

Harry senses the change in her and is quick to clear the water.

“Lis, don’t feel bad about talking about Benji.”

“I just don’t know if…”

“If I want to hear about him?” he helps her out and she nods shortly. “I do. I think I made it pretty clear that I’m interested in you and that involves everything. Benji as well. I know he is a big part of your life so I wanna hear all about him. You don’t have to hold yourself back around me, alright?”

“I guess I’m just not used to… a man being interested in him.”

“I assume you had some bad dating experiences.”

“You could say that,” she chuckles bitterly.

“How did they react when they found out about him?”

Annalise doesn’t even realise that they have parked down and Harry has stopped the car. They sit there and Harry listens to her intently, genuinely interested in anything she shares.

 “Guys my age are not really ready to deal with a child. Most of them swore it wasn’t an issue, but at the end… it always was. So then I stopped talking about it, but I quickly realized that it’s not something I can just not tell.”

“Obviously,” Harry nods.

“So now I just don’t know what to do and what not to do.”

“Well, I know you’ve heard it plenty of times, but I really mean it that it’s not an issue to me in any way. From what I saw, he looks like a great little guy and though I was a little shocked last time when I met him, I’m not against seeing him again, if that’s how things turn out to be. I like kids, I really do, so don’t feel bad about talking about him. I want you to. I’m asking you to.”

Annalise is not sure how to react. She still has a lot on her heart and mind, but she genuinely believes Harry, something is just telling her that she can. Not sure what it is about him, but she is trying not to overthink it.

Moving her gaze away from him she looks out the window and sees that they are parked near a little park.

“Where are we?”

“One of my favorite places,” Harry smiles getting out of the car and Lis follows him to the trunk. 

He opens it up and there’s an old fashioned basket, one she always sees in movies when they are having a picnic. Harry grabs the basket and shuts the trunk once he has everything he needs and then the two of them start walking further into the greenery.

“I come here sometimes, just because not many people know it exists so it’s quite peaceful most of the time. Easy to stay unnoticed, ya know?”

Lis nods as they follow the graveled path that leads through the small park, squished between townhouses. It really isn’t big, she can see the other end from where they are, but there’s a lot to do and see. A nice playground takes up most of the space, but there are several benches, a little fountain a little further down the way, chess tables and even a small group of abstract monuments that’s also used as a playground by some kids. Annalise finds the place endearing and it’s like a hint of magic in the middle of the city. 

They aim for a bench, Harry sets down the picnic basket between them and opens up the lid, revealing that it’s filled with goodies.

“I wasn’t sure what you like or don’t like, so I packed a whole bunch of stuff,” he truthfully admits, making Annalise smile as she watches him roam through the basket, pulling some stuff out.

He really did think of everything. There are loads of fruits, sandwiches, all kinds with and without meat, cut vegetables, sauces, snacks, both sweet and salty. Even the worst picky eater would find something to eat in the load Harry packed for their lunch.

“You could have asked what I liked so you didn’t have to do all this,” she shyly tells him, but he just smiles at him with his head tilted.

“Wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Well, I’m surprised, so you succeeded,” she admits with a soft chuckle as Harry’s fist pumps into the air in victory, making her laugh.

Annalise chooses to eat a ham and cheese sandwich while Harry chooses one with salami in it and they have the little container filled with veggies sitting on the basket so they both can reach it.

Suddenly, she can feel the guilt crawling up her back and neck, reaching all her thoughts about how bad it was that she didn’t tell him about Benji. Even with her intentions of never seeing him again, she should have told him or at least mentioned it when she saw his interest in her. It’s been a struggle of hers for so long, wanting to protect herself and Benji, but also knowing that it’s not information you should keep to yourself for too long.

“I uhh-- I want to apologize,” she speaks up, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

“For what exactly?”

“For, um… That I didn’t tell you about Benji. I know I should have, but I--”

“You didn’t plan on seeing me ever again. I get it.” Glancing over at him, she sees that there’s no sign of anger or disappointment in his eyes, just a calm smile stretched across his face. “I’m fine to move on from this part. I understand your reasoning and I’m not mad at all. Would have been nice to know, but it’s all fine.”

“Are you really okay with it or are you just saying it because you know it’s what I want to hear?”

“I really mean it,” he tells her, looking at her with eyes that are completely open and she can read them like a book. She feels the relief coming over her.

“Okay. I just still want you to know that I’m sorry. It’s not like I’m ashamed of him or being a mother.”

“Doesn’t look like that.” Harry chews on his sandwich before speaking up again. “Can I ask… what’s the situation--I mean--”

“About the father?” she guesses and Harry nods. “Um… We started dating in tenth grade, he was my first… everything. First kiss, first boyfriend, first… love.”

Harry ignores the bitter taste in his mouth as she talks about loving this mystery man, but he chooses to stay silent as he waits for her to continue.

“I was planning my future with him, though looking back after the first year I was just desperately trying to hold onto the idea of being in a relationship, having a partner, it wasn’t healthy for sure.” She lets her hands fall to her lap, holding the remaining of her sandwich as she carries on. “So then, not long after graduation came the shocking news that I was pregnant. We barely turned eighteen, it was a proper shock for the both of us, I was terrified. We kept it to ourselves for a few days, trying to figure out what to do, but then I told my parents.”

She falls quiet for a moment and Harry doesn’t say a word, just lets her take her time, continue whenever she feels like. 

It’s been long since she told anyone about how she ended up being where she is, given the fact that her small circle consists of Chloé and her parents. She’s known Chloé since elementary school, she was there through the whole process, didn’t have to tell her the story. Outside that, she doesn’t go around and talks about getting pregnant at eighteen so she definitely needs to pull her thoughts together now.

“They were mad. Like, so fucking mad, I thought they are going to disown me,” she huffs with a bitter chuckle.

“Did they?” Harry finds himself asking.

“No. I could feel their disappointment for a while, but they said that they want to help me and be present. It never occurred to them to ever throw me out. I just had to deal with seeing it in their eyes for months.”

She scratches her neck, taking a deep breath and trying to find her words to get back to the story. To her story.

“So I figured out that I want to keep the baby and I told Austin about it.”

“Austin?”

“Oh, yeah. His name is Austin.”

Harry notices how she used present time, so he knows that the reason why he is not present is not because something happened and he died. Austin is very much alive, just chooses to be a douche and not care for his son.

“He tried to convince me to get an abortion, but I didn’t want to, so he had to accept my decision. Though he didn’t shy away from voicing his disapproval. Anyway, we tried to stay together, but it was just a whole lot. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to uni, I wanted to support myself financially and not live on my parents’ money, I just couldn’t deal with his behavior which was absolute trash.”

“Did he ever…?” Harry trails, hoping he doesn’t have to finish the sentence and she will know what he means. Luckily, she does.

“No. Austin never hit me, I think he is too chicken to do that, but he surely liked to give me all the pain through his words. Treated me like shit and I think he was trying to bully me into breaking up with him, so it wouldn’t be him who left his pregnant girlfriend.”

“Fucking asshole,” Harry mumbles, not able to hold himself back. He can feel the rage crawling up his neck, numbing his fingers, aching to bring justice. 

“Yeah,” she nods. “Well, he succeeded and I threw him out when I was in the eighth month. He tried to stay present for a while. He was there when Benji was born, though not in the room, but he was there. And he genuinely tried to get into the role of being a father, but I guess he just… couldn’t. He started coming over less and less until he barely even asked about Benji once a week, only seeing him a few times a month. And I still don’t know if I should have tried to reach out and help him connect with Benji and just the idea of being a dad, but… I didn’t. I just watched him break all contact with us and disappear into thin air. By the time Benji turned two, I couldn’t even tell if Austin still lived in our town or not. Haven’t heard from him in about three years,” she finishes and Harry is left at a loss of words. He can only imagine what it was like to go through all of this at such a young age.

“Though it seems like everything turned shit, I still think that I managed to bring the best out of it. A year later than my peers but I started uni, my school offered a chance for people like me to have a special timetable, manage my courses more losely than others, so I had only two days when I had to go in and I could bring Benji with me if I wanted. My teachers were super helpful so I got my degree and moved up to London when I got the job at Golden Sunshine.”

“Weren’t you afraid of moving out from your parents? I assume they helped you a lot in the beginning.”

“Oh, I was,” she chuckles softly, bringing a smile to his lips too. “I couldn’t have done it without them, and I’m very thankful for them. The moment they saw Benji I could feel them shift, I didn’t see the disappointment anymore, just the endless love and caring for him. They are in love with being a grandparent and maybe I could have stayed longer with them, but I wanted to find my own place, start my own life and not depend on them forever.”

“That’s very respectable,” Harry nods in awe. Not many would have thought that same way as she did in her situation. 

“I’m not saying it was easy at the beginning, because I had very little support system here in London. Luckily, my best friend, Chloé was already living here and she was always happy to help me with anything. She still is. But if I’m being honest I thought about moving back home a few times. Though I’m glad I didn’t. I think I needed to face this and I’m happy I didn’t try to push it too much, I forced myself to make the change before I could get too comfortable at home. Now I feel home here as well and I think Benji does too. I like to think that I’m doing a good job raising him, but I can only hope,” she chuckles lightly before bringing her sandwich back up to his mouth and she starts eating again. 

Silence comes over them, but it’s much needed and appreciated. It lets Annalise have a breather after everything she just shared, think about her words, while Harry is trying his best to process all the information he just learned. 

He thought he got to know her pretty well that evening when they met, having to talk to her for hours on end, but this just put her in a whole different lighting and though he wasn’t mad at her for not telling him about Benji before, he couldn’t have been now after hearing everything. Annalise went through more in just a few years than most people experience over a decade probably. And on top of everything, she nailed it all like not many could have. Harry envies her bravery and strength, her ability to start over after being thrown to the ground several times. He could have never done the same.

Harry feels the need to voice his appreciation.

“I know that you will probably doubt the validity of my words, but I just want to say that I think you are an amazing person. Everything you did, for yourself and Benji, it’s a miracle and it’s all thanks to you. If I can say that… I’m proud of you.”

Annalise is at a loss of words. She can’t remember the last time someone told her they were proud of her and she definitely did not expect to hear it from Harry, but here they were, sitting on a bench in a park, eating lunch together, seeing each other for only the third time ever. Though she was stubborn not to let her walls down too fast and easily, she can now feel them trembling. A lot. 

“Thank you,” she breathes out, feeling too shy to look him in the eyes, so she keeps her gaze fixated on her hands. 

Following the quite serious topic they just discussed, Harry manages to ease the mood a little, starting a conversation about things that are much lighter. He is pleased to see that they are able to pick up where they left on New Year’s Eve, talking and joking about basically anything without taboos. This is what has drawn him so forcefully to her right in the beginning. She is unapologetically herself regardless of who she is talking to or what she is talking about and it encourages him to be the same. He can so easily leave his ties back he usually feels on him most of the time in life. But not with Annalise. She can easily make Harry forget about the existence of any other human being on the planet and he is desperately trying to keep this feeling close to his heart. 

However that short hour is nearing its end quite soon and they are forced to head back to her workplace so she can make it back in time. Harry saw today solemnly as a chance to be her friend and strengthen her trust in him, but when they are sitting in his car heading back to the retirement home he finds himself having a hard time thinking about her in a friendly way. He wishes he could just easily switch it in his brain, but Annalise messed it all up so easily and gracefully that he can’t even be mad. However, he feels too weak to stand the tempting urge and not give in. 

As they are nearing Golden Sunshine Harry is chewing on the inside of his cheeks, gripping the wheel a little tighter than usually, trying to figure out what to do once they arrive. While right next to him, Annalise is having a somewhat similar fight with herself, because she genuinely enjoyed her time with Harry and though her strict side is telling her to keep her distance, her heart is screaming at her to let him get closer.

The car comes to a halt and they both just sit there for a few moments, lost in their own head, waiting for something to happen. Right when Annalise is about to say something and end this little meet-up on a neutral note, Harry speaks up breaking the silence.

“Annalise, I want to be very honest with you,” he starts seriously and she is a little taken aback by the tone, but nods.

“Okay.” Harry stares out the windshield, hands still on the wheel, as if he is trying to ground himself, have a grip of something solid in his fists to mask the nerves taking over him.

“I know that I said that I’m fine with being friends and I still think that, don’t get me wrong. Above anything and everything, I would love to be your friend. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t want more, because I do. I definitely do and I’m not gonna lie to myself or you. So this is kind of my warning that… I will shoot my shots as often as possible and I’ll see this—“ he gestures between him and her nervously, “as something that I want to work on and head in a…” It’s hard for him to find the right words, as if Annalise just made his mind blank when words are usually his best friends. But not now, because all he can think about is the woman sitting next to him.

Sighing he lets his hands drop to his lap, turning to face her finally, finding her bright eyes already staring back at him intently.

“I want this to head in a romantic way, Lis. I really do, because I just can’t stop this attraction I feel and if I’m being honest, I don’t even want to stop it. I remember and understand everything you said about wanting to protect Benji and how dating has been for you, but I want you to know that it doesn’t stop me from trying over and over again.”

Staring into her eyes he is desperate to read something out of them, but for once, she looks completely blank, just blinking at him, seemingly deep in her thoughts. He almost entirely regrets opening his mouth in the first place, but then she notices the tiniest smile playing on her lips.

“Okay,” she quietly says, clearly surprising Harry with her short, but unexpected reaction to his words.

“Okay?” he repeats the word, eyebrows raised at the woman beside him. Annalise nods.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Harry repeats it again in his mind, trying to find a different meaning behind it, but there’s none. It’s an okay which is neither bad nor the best kind of reaction, but way better than what he was expecting.

“Okay,” he nods, saying the word again, noticing how ridiculous this conversation just sounded, but he couldn’t care less. That okay means more than anything to him.

“Thank you for lunch,” Annalise smiles before opening the door.

“It was a pleasure,” Harry returns the smile and waves in her way, watching her shut the door and he stays right there as she walks up to the entrance. She glances back one last time, her smile widening for a split second before she disappears inside the building.

“Harry?”

Mitch’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts for probably the fifth time today as he has been far from the studio, clearly putting his mind somewhere else than into the songs they are recording.

“What? Sorry. Zoned out a little,” he mumbles rubbing his eyes, hoping to return to the present.

It’s been just two days since he has last seen Annalise and though they’ve been staying in touch through texts ever since, he is keen on seeing her as soon as possible.

“Care to share what’s got your thoughts occupied?” Sarah chimes in from the corner of the room. Her comment is not harsh or rude, more like curious and kind of delighted. Studio sessions between Harry and the band have always been seen as more of a creative environment where they get to do anything that helps the workflow, rather than a compulsion or pressure to create. They all know it’s not how good music is born, so it has never been taken badly when someone was not at the top of their game.

“If I had a guess I would say it starts with L and ends with Is,” Adam smirks from his chair, mindlessly pushing himself to left and right, his eyes watching Harry.

“I’m just trying to figure out what to do next.”

“Have something on your mind?” Sarah questions, leaning forward to rest is elbows on her knees.

“I do, but I just don’t know where the boundaries lie with Benji. If she would let me… meet him, I guess,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, leaving his locks fall messily back, before they slowly return to frame his forehead.

“Why don’t you just ask her?” Mitch easily questions.

“I just feel like… I’m walking on eggshells. What if she takes it the wrong way?”

“What do you mean?” Adam asks.

“She said her encounters with men didn’t end well when it came to Benji. I’m afraid she would think I’m just trying to get closer to her through Benji, which is totally not the case. I want to get to know him because I know how important he is to her, so I obviously want to be close to him as well.”

“Harry,” Sarah smiles at him warmly. “Just tell her exactly this. From what you told us, she sounds like a smart woman. Worst case, she’ll say no to you meeting the kid. Just don’t take it to your heart too much.”

Harry nods knowing she is right. Fishing his phone out of his pocket he sends a quick text to Annalise.

Harry: Let me know when you have the time to talk so I can call you.

He doesn’t think she would get back to him too soon, but just when he is about to return his attention to the task on his hands, the screen lights up.

Lis: I’m free now.

“Sorry guys, I need to make a quick call. Be right back,” he excuses himself leaving the room, walking out to the empty hallway as his thumb glides across the screen, opening up Annalise’s contact. He draws a deep breath, keeps it in and then exhales sharply before he finally taps on the right button and starts the call. She picks up just after two rings.

“Hey!” Her joyful voice rings through the phone, instantly making Harry smile.

“Hi, I hope I’m not bothering you,” he breathes out.

“I literally told you it’s fine to call,” she chuckles. “How are you?” she asks and he just knows it’s not one of those empty questions. She is genuinely interested in the answer.

“I’m good, just working at the studio, but I wanted to ask you something.”

“Alright, shoot it.”

“I hope I’m not crossing any lines and please tell me if I do, but I would really love to have you and Benji over at my place for lunch or dinner sometime and I thought we could play board games. I have a bunch for times when my friends are over and I’m sure we could find something Benji would like.”

All his blood rushes to his head as his anxiety is reaching its maximum level. He has never felt this nervous about just a simple question, an invitation, but everything about Lis makes him go into a spiral, afraid he might lose what he has with her for now.

The silence on the other end of the call is wrecking him and he even goes to check if the call is still on, because he can’t hear a thing. Right when he is about to ask if she’s still there, she finally breaks the silence.

“When?” she asks shortly and that one little word means the world to Harry. For a split second he thinks he’s going to faint as all the blood rushes out of his face at the answer.

“Whenever it’s good for you. I can push around my plans in the next two weeks so I’m open to anything,” he answers eagerly.

“I’d rather not do it on a weekday, I don’t want Benji to go to bed late. I’m working on Saturdays and the afternoon is always our time, so that leaves us with Sunday,” she explains so precisely, Harry feels like he is listening to someone talk about the solution of a mathematical problem.

“Alright,” he nods following her trail of thoughts.

“He has a football game next weekend so this week would be the best for us.”

This week. This Sunday is only two days away, meaning that it would happen sooner than he expected, but there’s no way he would turn her down. Sunday it is.

“Works for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Lunch or dinner?”

“Maybe lunch? I take bedtime really seriously,” she explains and he makes a mental note, storing it along with everything else he knows so far about her and Benji.

“Perfect. Lunch is great.”

“Are you sure it’s not too soon for you? You can tell me—“

“Lis, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it, alright? I’ll text you the address and exact time after I pushed back my meeting.”

“If you have work to do, then we could—“

“None of that,” he cuts her off again, not letting her push it around until it won’t happen. That will not be the case if it’s up to him. “I said it’s all good and I meant it. Don’t worry about it.”

After a short pause, she finally gives in. “Okay,” she sighs. “Thank you for the invitation. And for thinking about Benji too.”

“Of course. I hope you’re not taking it in a negative way though. I really want to get to know him as well.”

“You haven’t given me a reason to think of you differently,” she states confidently before adding: “Don’t make me regret it.”

-

NEXT PART 

-

TAGLIST

let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!

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[avengerscompound]

The Surrogate - Chapter 9

The Surrogate:  A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  1637

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Pregnancy, talk of miscarriage, medical procedures

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.  While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people.  When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want.  Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 9

If you thought that Natasha and Clint were around a lot before you were pregnant, it was nothing compared to after you got that positive test.  The only time at least one of them wasn't there with you was when you were sleeping or at work, and even then, they were often there.

They were being hyper-protective and nagging you a lot about taking your vitamins and not overexerting yourself.  They pushed for a conversation with Steve about changing your work and pulling you off active missions, which, given that your skillset was ‘can’t get killed so use as cannon fodder’, it meant there wasn't a hell of a lot you could do as part of the team.

All of this would have been incredibly annoying except for the fact you really liked having them around.  Even if they were being a little too overprotective.

It was definitely a problem.

On the day of your five-week ultrasound, they were both a couple of bundles of nerves.  Natasha was mostly silent.  Sometimes you could see her worrying at the inside of her cheek and you knew that she was expecting to go in and find that the pregnancy hadn't taken properly after all or worse, that there would be no heartbeat and it would confirm the fact that she'd never get to be a parent.

Clint seemed to be hung up on something quite the opposite.

He paced the ultrasound room as you sat on the chair in your hospital gown waiting for Cynthia the on-site ultrasound technician to come in.  You knew her well, as you did most of the medical team at the compound considering how many tests they'd run on you, not to mention how they'd get you in to donate blood regularly or see if you could help with any injuries they had.

Natasha was sitting on a stool beside your chair and the more Clint paced the tighter the grip got on your hand.

“Oh god,” Clint babbled as he walked.  “What if there's more than one?  How can I be a dad to three kids?  I can barely even look after myself.  I can't take care of three infants too.”

“Clint,” you said, as you watched him turn and pace back again.  “How about you wait and see how many babies there are and then freak out?”

“Right,” he said, and let out a breath.  “Right.  Sorry.”

He took a seat and put his arm around Natasha just after Cynthia came in.  “Hi!”  The bubbly tech said as she came in the door.  “This is exciting, isn't it?  I hardly get any pregnancy stuff here?  It's always x-rays for broken bones.”

She sat down on the stool and began turning various things on and typing into a computer.  “You must be so excited, huh?  Going with surrogacy, this baby is gonna be so loved and wanted.  I bet the others are excited about being aunts and uncles too.”

“Yeah, we’d kinda given up,” Clint said.  He was rubbing Natasha's back in soothing circles as she seemed to almost start turning green.

Cynthia took the controls for the chair you were on and reclined it so you were lying flat on your back with your knees up.  She took the imaging wand from the holster and prepped it.

“It's going to be hard to see them so don't freak out that it might take a little while to find it.  It's just the size of an orange seed,” she said.

“Oh my god,” Clint said.  “So small?”

“Yeah,” Cynthia laughed.  “So be patient. It's like finding an orange seed in a full-grown adult.”  She scooted the chair closer and brought the wand up.  “There will be a pinch,” she warned and pushed the probe inside you.

It pinched as it entered and there was as uncomfortable pressure inside you as she moved the wand around, trying to find the embryo.  Natasha’s hand squeezed harder and harder on yours the longer it took.  And the longer it took to find them the more uncomfortable it got and the harder you squeezed her hand back.

A little black spot appeared in the sea of static gray and inside it was a little circle blob.  “There it is,” Cynthia said.  “One perfectly normal five-week embryo.”

“Where?” Clint asked, narrowing his eyes and peering at the screen.

Cynthia circled the spot on the screen.  “This thing here,” she said.

“That?” Clint said in disbelief.  “How could you even tell?”

“Training mostly,” Cynthia joked. “But I promise, that seed is the very start of a baby.”

“Just one?” Clint asked.

“Let me just do another check,” she said, moving the wand around again. When she seemed happy she focused on the original spot again.  “Just one.”

“And it's fine?” Natasha asked.

“So far so good,” Cynthia said.  “I mean, I'm not a doctor and you’re doctor will be able to tell you more but this is all in the normal regions.  We can take a look again at eight weeks and you’ll be able to see the heartbeat.”

Natasha relaxed and nodded.  “Thank you.”

“Agent Romanoff,” Cynthia said as she pulled out the wand.  “It’s still very early stages, so there are no promises made that this will be a successful pregnancy but if you're ever really panicking, you can just call and I can check on them.  I don't mind.  Even if it's the middle of the night.”

“Really?” Natasha said, even as you internally cursed at the idea of being woken up for an ultrasound at midnight.

“Yeah, if it will put your mind at rest,” she said.  “We can keep a close eye on them.”

“Thank you,” Natasha said earnestly.  “I appreciate that.”

“No problem,” Cynthia said as she started packing up.  “Okay, I'll forward all this on to Martina and she'll get in touch.”

“Can I put clothes on?” You asked, hopefully.

“Sure can,” Cynthia said.  “I hope it was as good for you as it was me.”

You laughed as you got up.  “I mean, I’ve had better,” you teased.  “But I guess I've had worse too.”

“Solid average, right where I was aiming,” Cynthia joked.

You went into the dressing room laughing and got redressed into your uniform.  Cynthia was gone when you returned and Natasha and Clint were waiting expectantly for you.

“So that’s good news,” you said.  “Nat, you get one.  And Clint, you only get one.”

Clint snorted.  “Yeah, that was a relief.  I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl.

“Long time off before you find that out,” you said as the three of you headed out.  “What do you want?”

“Hmm,” Clint mused.  “I don’t even care.  I’m gonna dress them in purple either way.”

“Your brother had red hair right?”  You asked.

“He does,” Clint confirmed.

“Little redhead baby,” you said, running your hand over your stomach.  “Oh imagine if they get the red hair gene and the blue-eyed one.  That’s the rarest one.”

“Then they’ll look like Pepper and Tony will think you had her kid,” Clint joked.

Natasha stopped walking as the two of you were babbling to each other and it took you both a moment to realize that she wasn’t with you anymore.  When you both realized she wasn’t with you, you turned and looked at her.  She was covering her face with her arm.

“Nat, what’s wrong?”  Clint said, going over to her and putting his arm around her shoulders and crouching so he was face to face with her.

She shook her head.  “When you started talking about what they’ll look like, I could picture them.  I want them so bad, Clint,” she said, taking her hand away from her face.  She wasn’t crying but she seemed closed.

Clint pulled her into his arms and held her, looking almost as helpless as she seemed.  It was not at all how you were used to seeing them, but it was getting more and more common as the process progressed.  You hoped by the time the baby was looking like a baby she’d accept it was going to happen for them.

“You’re gonna have that baby in your arms, little redhead with blue eyes.  I promise, Nat,” he soothed.

She hid her face in his chest and breathed him in without saying anything.  He just held her rubbing her back.  You stood there watching them, wanting to leave because this was their moment and despite the fact they were your best friends and you were carrying their baby, this part was private and had nothing to do with you.  Yet at the same time, you wanted to go to them and reassure them.  You wanted to tell them that you knew this was going to work.  You knew for sure.  So you just stood and waited awkwardly for them.

Natasha took a deep breath and pulled back.  “Okay,” she said.  “I’m okay.  Sorry.  This whole thing is so much harder than I expected.”

“Do you regret it?”  Clint asked, his thumb caressing the inside of her wrist.

She shook her head.  “No.”

“Good,” you said.  “‘Cause I’m not raising this baby alone.”

Clint started laughing and draped his arm around Nat’s shoulders.  “I wouldn’t worry about that,” he said.

“Alright, you two,” you said.  “I gotta get back to work.  Filing shit or whatever busy shit Steve’s got me doing.”

“I think I’m gonna go punch some things,” Natasha said with a nod.

“That sounds fun,” Clint said.  “Shall we all meet for lunch?”

“Yeah, the cafeteria at 12.30?” Natasha asked.

“Sounds good,” Clint said and they both looked at you.

You chuckled.  You were theirs for the next 9 months, and you felt that it should annoy you.  It didn’t though.  You just wished it would be for longer.

// NEXT

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

yeah, i don't lie a lot either, not only because i'm just really bad at it but also i'm a pretty honest person, i rarely see a reason to lie about something to people i'm close with. i do lie to teachers too though. because i am not just gonna tell them that i'm planning on procrasting an assignment for 3 weeks and then doing it on the last night. no, thank you. about that i can lie very convincingly.

there was also this one memorable occasion where i was lying horribly and then somehow managed to save the situation? it was weird. basically this guy i was friends with asked me out and I panicked coz i didnt want to hurt his feelings but i really didnt like him that way, so i said i'm sorry i have a crush on someone so i'm not emotionally available. and he was like oh cool who is it? because he obviously didn't believe me (see: my terrible lying skillz) and i was like oh it's my classmate [insert random name that does not belong to any of my classmates] and he asked for his facebook because again: didn't believe me. and so i panicked even more because i didn't know any people with that name so i told him yeah you caught me, i was lying, i actually have a crush on my best friend (we're both girls) so hopefully ur not homophobic dude. he was not homophobic! so that was great, even if i did lie so horribly at first that i had to come out to save my lie 🤷‍♀️

i'm pan ace by the way! and i'm only out as pan to 5 (i think) people irl and literally no one outside of tumblr knows that i'm ace (because i'm apparently really horrible at telling who in my life is aphobic and after one attempt at coming out as ace and backtracking asap i did not try again!)

also, i figured that you would like to know, that i found some hair dye i bought before (the second) quarantine in my country started and forgot about. so i dyed my hair red again! at 1am (well it's 12.30 but thats close enough right?) i also accidentally dyed my favorite (white) sleep shirt red because in my excitement i forgot to change. so now it looks like someone's head was cut off while wearing it! the chaos! i'm loving it

Oh yeah, I had this one lecturer last trimester that would give you assignments and expect you to have started them like, a solid month before it was due. If it was like a MASSIVE assignment I would understand of course. But half the time it was just like a 1000 or 2000 word essay. Two weeks from the due date I’m pretty sure she expected a draft. That is of course not what I did. I’m over here chatting with my tutor the day it’s due like yeah I started last night gonna try to get it done by the due time tonight :)) shoutout to that tutor, I gave her second-hand anxiety and stress and she did not deserve it. But when talking to the lecturer? nooo I’ve made a start for sure :). On the other hand that was my worst class last trimester and my results just. weren’t vibing. so maybe I should’ve started weeks prior sdkfsdfsk. Lying to teachers about having started an assessment is my specialty. stressing tutors out about having not started so close to the date is also my speciality (i’m so sorry sdfkshdf).

oh my god what a legendary way of saving that lie in the end. that’s incredible. I think I would’ve panicked so much in that situation it just would’ve been stuttered half words and a sprint in literally any direction to get away. What a save. 10/10 quick thinking skills there honestly. to be fair there also weren’t enough people in my high school to get away with naming a fake person. when a guy asked ME out I just stood there staring at him with great fear until he reminded me I could say no so I said uh, yeah, I mean no sorry, and speed-walked away. he was good about it though. until I found out he wanted to ask me to the ball in year 12 I believe and I suddenly disappeared whenever he entered a room. Weird how that worked. so strange. odd. top 10 unexplainable things in the world.

so when I was younger I was ‘dating’ this guy on minecraft. there! i said the first sentence! cue laughter! meanwhile a guy at school had started to show interest in me (the dude above) and i mean. what was i gonna say. sorry dude i’m actually dating someone on minecraft so :)) can’t date you! but some friends got really curious about why I was so against dating him because we did actually get along pretty well as friends. and I wasn’t about to tell THEM the truth either. so i. so i- so. i um. i uhhhhhh. hhhhhh. i confess. the worst lie i’ve ever told. went something like

so the thing is I’m actually in a long distance relationship with someone, which is why I can’t date this guy and am not interested. we met in new zealand though! he’s in america now. it’s SUCH a weird story. we met in [insert place two towns over] and started dating and it was all going really well when his parents found out. they weren’t happy with us dating so they decided to move away so he couldn’t date me anymore. they moved ALL the way to the US just because they disapproved! we still keep in touch through messaging apps and that though. so. then my friends took me to maccas after school asking more questions and what he looked like. so I showed them his insta profile and explained a bit about him. that part wasn’t a lie but geez, THEY MOVED ALL THE WAY TO AMERICA FROM NZ BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T APPROVE? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT ASS LIE IS THAT. THAT IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER COME UP WITH. I THINK I GAINED MY ABILITY TO LIE SOMEWHAT WELL AFTER THAT BECAUSE IT TRULY COULD NOT GET WORSE. anyway. that’s something i never want to reflect on EVER again. thank god i’m only exposing myself to all of tumblr. i was like 14 or 15 there is no excuse for a lie that god awful at that age. and yet. ANYWAY.

that’s awesome though! 10/10 identity in my opinion, thanks for sharing!!! I came out to my entire english class in year 13 as part of a speech assessment just cause it seemed to fit the speech topic at the time and i was like fuck it. last year here. let’s do it. and my parents still didn’t find out. despite reading the speech. it was a coming out comment that clearly just went over their heads. they still don’t know. everyone else does. it’s wild. I feel you though. I’m so comfortable saying I’m bi or I’m gay or I’m queer or anything of the sort with people I know are chill but the ace side of things? it’s just trickier for me, at least. the first time I mentioned asexuality was to my Dad when he asked me to explain what the acronym LGBTQIA+ meant after seeing it on the news or something. So I went through each and explained them carefully so he understood. And I got to asexuality and I started explaining and he was like oh but that one’s a choice though with a very final sounding voice. And I didn’t really know my sexuality exactly at the time but I was questioning if I was ace and I was like ! neat ! i’m never telling anyone now ! i’m sure he didn’t really mean harm or anything and if i genuinely sat down now he’d listen but it was enough to keep that part of my identity more private. still i met a bunch of ace people at uni by accident in one class. it was rad. english attracts queer people i swear.

and omg, awesome! I hope it turned out well! well except for the shirt. but honestly, that seems like an awesome edition. i’m feeling a serial killer who collects the shirts of people whose heads they just cut off. who then wears them to bed to sleep in cause like obviously you can’t just wear that in public. what a vibe. also at 1am? sdkfjskdfsdf mood. i’m glad you’re vibing with it though!!

[viranlly]

What To Expect When You’re Not Expecting The Outdoors in Vancouver

in partnership with Tourism Vancouver

It’s no doubt that Vancouver is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Some even named them one of the best cities to live in. Yes, I absolutely agree (I’ve been here 11 years now, somehow). I mean... what’s not to like? Fresh air, the mountains, oceans, and of course, the great outdoors that put Vancouver on the map as a global tourist destination.

But what if, you’re not even remotely interested in the outdoors? *I have to admit, I’m probably the least outdoorsy person out there (don’t @ me!)* Will Vancouver still be enjoyable if one is not planning to go to Capilano bridge or doing the Grouse Grind? 

The answer is yes.

Vancouver is also home to some of the most talented, hard-working and innovative chefs, bartenders, and restauranteurs in the game. Making it a city that’s filled with delicious eats, drinks, and exceptional coffee culture - don’t believe me? Ask Chris Morocco from Bon Appetit Magazine ;) Plus, we are blessed with the bountiful amount of fresh ingredients, whether it’s fruits, veggies, seafood particularly, and even meat.

Every January, the city also hosts the annual Dine Out Vancouver Festival, a culinary festival that invites both locals and visitors to explore and experience what Vancouver has to offer. For the 18th edition of Dine Out Vancouver this year, there will be 318 restaurants participating in this two-week-long festivity. If you’re local, this time of the year is also a fun time to play tourist in your own city - which, I do, occasionally.

While I might not know where Garibaldi lake is on the map, and I definitely don’t know where to go for the best three-day camping trip (not that I want to do that ever), I do know exactly where you should be sipping your martini and eat your world-renowned aburi sushi. You can trust me on that.

Without trying to sound like a know-it-all, here’s how, in my ideal world, I would spend a typical 48 hours in Vancouver. 

8:30 a.m - Ride Cycle Club.

Nothing like starting your morning with a loud, steamy and sweaty spin class. The playlist is always on-point; the instructors, typically with a sexy, raspy voice, definitely gets you going first thing in the morning. There’s so much joy in watching everyone move to the beat, all together. It’s an experience for sure.

10:30 a.m - #dailycortado at Revolver.

If you know me at all, Revolver is practically my morning home base. The rustic, charming, long hallway is usually filled with highly (or soon to be highly) caffeinated individuals, chatting, working, or geeking out about coffee and other stuff (anything from cameras to vintage Rolexes). The menu is simple and straight forward, with beans selection rotating daily -- hence, Revolver. Solid pour-over bar, well-executed, picture-perfect espresso-based bevies too. But this is not the place to order a skinny, two pumps vanilla, one pump hazelnut, caramel macchiato - if that’s even a thing lolz. 

11:30 a.m - Snack and fresh flowers at The Birds & The Beets.

By snack, I mean, a freshly sliced of pillowy yet perfectly crusty sourdough with butter and sea salt - as simple as that. Or do the one with their house-made preserves if you’re fancy. Should you need another jolt of caffeine, their coffee is pretty damn good too. Pick up some fresh flowers on your way out too. ALSO, come back later at night when this cute coffee shop turns into Juicebar,  a natural wine bar where all the cool kids hang out and drink magnums of pet-nat all night.

12:30 p.m - Deep-fried everything tacos at Tacofino Gastown.

It’s problematic how addicting the crispy chicken tacos at Tacofino can be. I’ve had my days when all I ate was variations of this crispy chicken taco: as a burrito, as a ‘salad’ bowl, as a taco again, and repeat. Juicy tender chicken,  pickled veggies, epazote chimichurri, drizzled with buttermilk chili crema - mouthwatering. Their fish tacos are also delicious, it’s, as a matter of fact, their claim to fame, nuff said. You can’t also say no to their nachos, with a glass (or pitcher) of margs, obvs.

2 p.m - Stroll and shop through Gastown.

Drooling over luscious house-plants and Japanese cookware at Old Faithful Shop, selecting new fragrances at Le Labo, I also might as well pick up body balm at Aesop. Oh, and of course, stopping by Roden Gray to see some Thom Browne.

4 p.m - Spritz o’clock at Di Beppe.

Get a table at the cafe to people-watch while drinking bottled, branded Aperol Spritz. It’s an afternoon well spent, you gotta wait til’ 5:30 for happy hour anyways ;)

5:30 p.m - Happy Hour at L’abattoir.

L’abattoir, hands down, has one of the most beautiful bars in the city, with one of the strongest beverage programs too. The cocktails, both original and classic, are always crafted with such passion and precision. The Avocado Gimlet particularly is now a L’abattoir and a Vancouver classic: bright, boozy and herbaceous. Their wine list is a fun one to explore. Whether you’re feeling playful and adventurous, or classic and familiar, the team will find the wine for you. Their happy hour is probably my favorite one in the city: short but sweet. Make sure you make it there 5:30 on the dot to score the highly coveted bar seat (find me in the corner of the bar). You MUST order their iconic baked Pacific oysters, covered in a mountain of foamy truffle-garlic butter. Oh! and the pan-fried sweetbreads on toast is unforgettably delicious. L’abbatoir Dine Out menu can be found here.

7 p.m - Dinner at PiDGin.

One of a few restaurants in Vancouver that figured out how to perfectly marry the east and the west. An Asian-inspired menu, by the way of French cooking, using the freshest ingredients from the Pacific North West. Every dish is always a burst of flavours: rich and indulging without being pretentious. The umami-filled Foie Gras rice bowl is one of the most drool-worthy dishes. So uniquely, and iconically Pidgin. It’s a dish that has stood the test of time and has been there since the restaurant opened its’ doors six years ago now. Their beverage program is also focused on showcasing Asian spirits and flavours: numerous Japanese whisky, craft cocktails, and an impressive sake library. Explore Pidgin six-course Dine Out menu here.

10:30 p.m - Nightcap at Botanist.

I’ve talked about Botanist a lot, and I mean, a lot. While they’re still relatively new, they managed to sky-rocket their way to the top of the restaurant scene. With their award-winning bar team and innovative bar menu, it’s no surprise that Botanist is one of the best bars in the country. Sitting at the bar, sipping Botanist martini, while geeking out about cocktails and spirits is always a fun way to end the night. Botanist martini is an ideal nightcap: boozy, velvety, and obviously tasty. It’s like a vesper that gets an elegant Fairmont makeover, with a Pacific North West influence. This year, Botanist is hosting a Punch Brunch as part of Dine Out Vancouver AND to kick off Vancouver Cocktail Week next year. So exciting!

Day 2

10 a.m - Breakfast at Nemesis.

A hip and happening coffee shop with an impressive brunch menu and delectable baked goods. Of course, the coffee is stellar, and the space is beautiful with bright lights streaming through the windows. Their brunch and pastries, however, have been stealing the show for quite some time now. If you’re in Gastown, the cauliflower hash and the steak and egg are essential. If you happen to be across the bridge, the burrata and scrambled eggs on croissant loaf and is to-die-for. Not to forget their dreamy, kinda fancy croissants (think about Reuben sandwich, strawberry cheesecake in the form of croissant kind of fancy). Oh, and both of their cookies: the insanely luscious classic chocolate chip and the updated ferrero-esque cookie sandwich are worth crossing the bridge for.

12.30 p.m - Aburi lunch at Miku.

If there’s that one place I usually take visitors for the sake of impressing them, it’s Miku. It’s probably one of the most well-known Vancouver restaurants that even Beyonce was spotted dining there. The menu is unique. The world-famous aburi sushi is iconic. And the seafood? It doesn’t get any fresher than what Miku offers. Let’s not forget the multi-million dollar waterfront view, overlooking the harbour and North Vancouver. Their sister restaurant Minami is doing a Dine Out Lunch special too, by the way.

2:30 p.m - Nap.

It’s absolutely necessary.

5:30 p.m - Dinner at Como Taperia.

Oh what an exciting time when Como finally opened its’ doors in Mount Pleasant last year! The premise? A no-fuss-no-muss Spanish tapas restaurant with vibrant food, fabulous Gin and Tonics, and unbeatable conservas list. The room has been buzzing with people since day one - until recently they placed second on Enroute Magazine Best new restaurant. Even more people are now trying to get in to Como. The foie burger is simply a must, and so is the crispy eggplant, drizzled with honey. The oxtail, pepper and frites is so tenderly delicious. They’re also doing fun happy hour starting at 4, offering free tapas- just like they do in Spain. Drink the El Bandarra vermut on tap while munching on the tapa, or make sure to check out their daily tortilla feature.

8 p.m - Cocktails at Hawksworth’s Bar.

Hawksworth is probably as swanky as a Vancouver restaurant can get. While the dining room is very much upscale and can be intimidating, the cocktail bar is lively and chic. Again, get a spot at the bar and start with the Hotel Georgia Cocktail: bright, juicy and refreshing, inspired by the historic hotel itself. If you’re feeling extra fancy, they have a ‘from the vault’ menu that features classic cocktails made with vintage, extremely rare spirits.

10:30 p.m - A burger and nightcap at Pourhouse.

Located in the charming water street, Pourhouse is a cocktail bar nestled in one of Gastown’s historic buildings. The room itself is very old-school America in the prohibition era - luxurious, charming and welcoming. The menu is fairly simple but everything is well-executed. The Pourhouse burger is particularly memorable. I’ve vouched for this burger as the best one in town over and over again - no, I don’t want to argue with anyone on this. Classic cocktails are always crafted so meticulously here: Manhattan, Boulevardier, or a cognac Sazerac. You can’t go wrong with any (or all) of them. Their Dine Out menu this year is outstanding and really showcase what the team can do in the kitchen.

Well, that’s one hell of a list for y’all. I surely hope this helps with planning your delicious next trip to Vancouver! 

Discover the full list of restaurants participating in this year’s Dine Out Vancouver Festival here!

See y’all in the 604 soon!

instagram @viranlly

food | lifestyle | restaurant

[kcowgill]

8/02/2018 7.64 miles/12.30 kilometers Another run-in with Rene! With music! YTD: 826.52 miles 214 days in a row

So Rene joined me AGAIN, but this time on the treadmill. I was gearing up for my 7* mile tempo run, he’s just trying to make sure he can still run (in part to prepare for his upcoming Air National Guard physical test, but he’s also still signed up for the Chicago Marathon).

So my training plan calls for a mile each warm up and cool down, but 7 miles at tempo takes long enough as it is, and the longer I’m away from work, the later I feel obligated to stay.

Narrator: He does not like to stay late.

So I just did a half mile warmup, and the ~.14 mile graduated cool down from hitting the cool down button on the treadmill.

Rene hooked me up with a spare pair of his favorite headphones - which is a good thing he remembered because otherwise I’d have had no music for my run. The verdict? They’re OK. They stayed in place for a couple of miles, but by the end of my run they refused to stay in my ears. I’m hoping a fine-tuning (ha!) will help keep them in place.

The treadmill I was on was probably** still in “marathon mode”, but I think marathon mode is something different from “automatic shut off after 60 minutes”. I was prepared for it to stop so I made sure I was watching the timer and the mileage as 60:00 approached, so I stopped, hopped onto the siderails, cleared out the treadmill, punched in my speed, waited for the belt to get up to speed, and started again, noting the mileage that had passed while it got up to speed.

OTHER THAN THAT, I’d call it a successful tempo run - no other pauses/breaks/slowdowns. I brought a couple extra towels to wipe off excess sweat every so often, so the treadmill belt didn’t get soaked. Thanks to @coffeeandmuscles for the suggestion - it worked out better than I expected (although toweling off at speed is much harder than slowing down to do it like I did the week prior).

Before dinner got out of the oven*** my kids decided to treat us to a “show”. I’m still unclear as to what exactly they were trying to perform :)

And after they went down, I shared a virtual beer with a couple of my Ragnar West Virginia teammates (including @coffeeandmuscles) as we ironed out our departure plans for Thursday.

* Original plan calls for an 8 mile tempo run, but I switched things up a bit to ramp more gradually from a 5 mile tempo run to an 8 mile tempo run. Next week it’s 8 for sure.

** I know for sure it was still in marathon mode on Tuesday, because as I was programming it for an interval session I set it for 80 minutes and it said “MARATHON MODE” and didn’t complain otherwise. I highly doubt it got switched off between Tuesday and Thursday given that it’s been like that for at least a couple of weeks.

*** I’ve decided that after especially challenging run days I’m not about to cook anything that requires more than throwing something on a backing sheet and throwing it in the oven.

[baesketballers]

iv-a. i knew i loved you then

but you’d never know ft. akashi seijuurou

Characters are adults here, think late twenties. I also think this is longer than the other stories in Cantabile, because *inspiration*!

Maybe everything happened because of fate.

The recital hall is packed, and you’re not exaggerating when you say it literally looks like a sea of people. The traffic was hectic, which lead to your almost late arrival. You regret not being able to meet your student to give her encouragement, but thankfully her mobile was reachable just a couple of minutes ago, so you were able to cheer her on through a simple phone call. 

You’re struggling to find an empty seat—the lights are dim, making it harder for you to look for one. Eventually you see one empty seat right beside the aisle, a man sitting on the seat next to it. You walk over in a slightly faster pace than you’re used to, not wanting the seat to be taken by someone else.

“Excuse me,” you say, grabbing his attention, “is this seat taken?”

Shocking scarlet eyes look back at you in mild surprise. He looks your age, somewhere between mid- and late-twenties, though his face might pass for early-twenties instead. He’s dressed formally, like most of the people attending the recital, including you. When he speaks, his tone is professional and dignified:

“No, please.”

You smile, relieved and thankful, as you shuffle into your seat, fixing your clothes as you’re seated. You murmur your gratitude, while he replies with a simple “you’re welcome”. Realizing that there’s still at least five more minutes until the show starts, you glance at him, pondering if you should make small talk.

Before you can decide, he beats you to it.

“What brings you here today?”

“Oh,” you blink, surprised at the initiative, “it’s my student, actually. She’s performing.”

His eyes shines with interest, that much is plain to see. A small smile graces his lips.

“Really. Instrument?”

“Piano. She’s playing Schumann today.”

He hums and nods, seemingly pleased with your answer.

“And what about you?” You ask.

“My friend’s daughter is playing,” he replies, “though I came here rather late, and I couldn’t seem to find him.”

“Wow, that’s unfortunate,” you say sympathetically, “did you get caught in the traffic or something?”

“Yes,” the redhead answers, shaking his head slightly at the memory of the traffic jam he experienced earlier. Owning a luxury sedan doesn’t make life easier in Tokyo. “I didn’t expect it to be that bad.”

“Same,” you sigh, “but at least we’re here now.”

The lights are dimmed down, and the two of you gather that the recital is about to start. Amongst the minimally lit room, however, you can see that the man has extended a hand.

“Akashi,” he says, “Akashi Seijuurou.”

It takes you two seconds into the handshake to offer you your own full name upon realizing that the person next to you is the CEO to an extremely successful company.

“How did you enjoy the performance?” Akashi asks you in the middle of the applause at the closing performance. You need to lean in a little bit to hear him, and your shoulder unintentionally touches his. He doesn’t seem to notice—if he does, he doesn’t look like he minds. You, on the other hand, have to mutter a simple apology, moving away before answering his question.

“It was intriguing,” you reply, slowly stopping your own applause, “some of the pieces were interpreted differently by their respective performers. I feel refreshed.” You smile, standing up the same time as he does. It seems like Akashi is going to at least walk out of the hall with you before parting ways, and with that in mind, you tread up the stairs with him by your side, exchanging banter mostly about the recital that just ended.

The light outside is almost blinding, since it is only 4 p.m. and the sun is still shining in the desaturated blue of the winter sky. You have to squint slightly a few moments upon exiting the dim hall to adjust your eyes. Akashi, on the other hand, doesn’t seem too bothered, and you notice just how he looks three times more captivating under the late afternoon sunlight.

“Your student performed brilliantly,” he compliments, “her teacher must be excellent, as well.” When he says that, he looks at you with mirth in his eyes. Is he teasing you? You can only chuckle and bashfully look down to the ground.

“Ah, speaking of which, I need to congratulate her,” you say, looking around outside the auditorium entrance to spot your student. She must be with her parents here somewhere.

“I suppose I should also say hello to my friend,” he replies. “But before you go, ___________-san...”

You turn to look at him writing something on what looks like a business card, before he hands it to you.

“I hope you don’t mind me giving you my personal number,” Akashi says with a smile. It is somehow different compared to the other smiles he’s sent you during the short period of time you’ve got to know each other—ever enigmatic, but somehow this time it’s more... gallant. 

“I’d like to get to know you more, perhaps over coffee or lunch. Call me if you’re free,” he says, before spotting someone from afar—green hair and tall stature makes someone much easier to find in a crowd. 

“And that would be my friend. Until next time, ___________-san.”

You’re in a standstill, his card still in your hand as you watch him walk away to greet his friend. Until next time, huh... he’s that confident that you’re going to call him. 

You can’t say he’s wrong. 

‘Getting to know each other’ ends up happening over lunch dates instead—he picks you up at 12.30 sharp every time, drives you to a restaurant that he recommends, and you’d talk and eat for an hour. From the four lunch dates that he’s taken you to, you now know several things about him: that he knows how to play the violin, and his favorites are Bach and Brahms, and that he also knows how to play the piano (unsurprising, in your opinion). He used to play basketball in high school—you know the whole story—and you know of his family. You know that he likes tofu soup, and a bunch of other things that would take a whole day to describe.

When you see him through the window of the classroom you’re teaching in, you can’t be any more surprised. 

“Can you complete number 5 and 7, too? I will check your answers when you’re done with everything,” you tell your student, who replies with a simple “okay” before you walk to get the door, closing it once you’re out of the room. The look on Akashi’s face tells you that he’s entertained by your shocked expression.

“Akashi-san, what are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too,” Akashi says, holding out a small, simple bouquet of red tulips. Knowing him, who likes things of extravagance and class, he probably doesn’t want you to look unprofessional in your work place. 

“I thought I could pay you a surprise visit,” he continues.

“Well, you succeeded on that,” you reply, holding the flowers in your hands, “and you shouldn’t have, really.”

“I wanted to,” he smiles. You have to hold in the urge to blush.

“Thank you, they’re lovely.”

“You’re welcome.”

Silence sets in the two of you for a few seconds, and you certainly aren’t able to gauge the look on Akashi’s face while your eyes keep looking anywhere but him.

“I was wondering if you’re free for dinner tomorrow night?” Akashi asks, a casual hand in his pocket.

“Yes, I am,” you say, “are you picking me up?”

“Of course,” he replies smoothly as he flashes one of those dangerously charming smiles to you. You thought that seeing it more often for the past three weeks would make you somewhat immune to it, but his charm, if anything, gets even stronger. Or is it you who is getting weaker?  “Is seven alright?”

“Yes, that works just fine,” you say, smiling back at him. He takes your hand and kisses the back of it, like he always does before and after a date with you—you told him you thought only people in the olden days did that, and he laughed. This time, however, you don’t comment. The pink on your cheeks tell him everything he needs to know.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

You wave him goodbye as he walks away from the classroom towards the exit—the front desk must’ve told him you’re almost done with this class and let him in. You hope the other teachers weren’t around to see that... Opening the door to your classroom with the bouquet in your hands, you see your student still twirling the pencil in his hand, and when he looks up at you, he’s mildly surprised at the bunch of flowers you’ve got.

“How are we going along?”

“Sensei, was that your boyfriend?” The boy teases, grinning mischievously with curiosity in his eyes. You burst out laughing.

“He’s... someone I’ve known for a while. Now, if the question asks you to identify the tempo in Mälzel's Metronome—”

The dinner was splendid, even Akashi has to admit at least that. He told you beforehand that the restaurant isn’t really one you can enter without complying to a certain dresscode, which took you by surprise, but he must say that you look gorgeous with that outfit on. He just has to examine you from head to toe another time, you sitting quietly in the passenger seat of his Aston Martin, looking out the night lights of the city. 

Akashi is never one to quickly jump into things that is uncertain. He does make swift decisions, but all of them are accurate, precise, calculated, and always right. 

So when he thinks meeting you is love in first sight, that might as well be the truth.

It wasn’t all flowers and pink auras in your first meeting, that’s for sure, but he remembers exactly how it felt when his eyes met yours. There’s something different, and a voice inside him (his conscience, or his demons?) telling him that you’re different. Of course he included the possibility of being physically attracted to you, which is a very natural thing considering how appealing you are, but he’s never one to be simply allured by looks.

After various processes in his mind, he concluded that the butterflies in his stomach can only be the product of the so-called love at first sight. 

“Akashi-san, are you finally going to tell me where we’re going?” You ask, a small smile on your face. Trying to guess where he’s taking you makes it all the more exhilarating—you haven’t felt this way in a very long while.

“My home,” he answers, and before you can retaliate or question him, or think of other more suggestive possibilities, he continues. 

“I want to show you something.”

When he brings back a violin case to the living room where you’re sat, you gasp. He can only smile back, taking extreme delight in your shock.

He’s going to play for you.

And it’s not like you’ve never heard someone play the violin. You’ve been to many violin performances, the recital where the two of you met counts as one, but to have someone that is a romantic interest to perform in front of you, just the two of you—

It has to be a serenade.

He elegantly holds the instrument up, his fingers delicately hovering over the strings, and as his right hand starts to move the bow across the instrument, you find yourself surprised yet again.

Liebestraum.

“Love’s Dream”, so it is called, by Liszt. It is a classic piano piece, you’ve never heard it on the violin before, but the melody sounds so enchanting when Akashi plays it. The room is quiet, and the sound of the instrument resonates so beautifully in the midst of the silence, letting you hear each and every note clearly. 

It’s his confession of love.

Akashi is deep in concentration as he plays, so when his scarlet eyes look up at you from the violin, you can’t find it in you to look away. He’ll only gaze at you for so long before returning back to playing, eyelids fluttering once in a while as his fingers dance to the theme of the song. He said that he hasn’t played for a while... did he practice for this? Visions of him playing the violin somewhere in his mansion, alone, spending an hour or two for this piece—it grips your heart so strongly.

When the main melody is repeated in a higher octave, you know that the song is about to end, but it sounds so sad and beautiful that it makes your eyes water, hand cupping your mouth to prevent whatever unelegant sound you’re about to make. The piece reaches a romantic conclusion, like the last word written in a book, or a couple exchanging sacred three words. 

Akashi exhales, puts down the instrument and looks to you to gauge reaction.

Instead of the applause he’s expecting, he sees you walking towards him and cupping his face with both hands before kissing him.

It’s something that he returns whole-heartedly, of course, for he’s sure his heart has never felt that close to bursting at the seams. The touch of your lips are initially soft and tender, but something in him decides to take more of you, and his hand moves to your waist to press you against his body. His mouth moves against yours in a passionate dance, encasing your bottom lip in his to suck on it, while he has a hand behind your head to pull you impossibly closer to him.

He wouldn’t have stopped if it weren’t for the wetness he feels against your cheek.

“You’re crying,” Akashi says after slowly pulling away, his finger wiping away the tears, only to find more of them streaming down your cheeks. You sigh helplessly before resting your face against his chest, inadvertently inhaling his scent.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, “that was just... beautiful, I don’t know what else I can say—”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he says, chuckling a little bit, and you can feel the vibrations deep in his chest. 

“I—did you—Akashi-san, how long—”   

“Please, call me Seijuurou,” he cuts you off, patting your head lovingly in attempts to calm you down. “I shall also call you  ___________, if you wish.”

“Seijuurou,” you begin again, and he prays to heavens that you don’t catch the way his heart beats like a hammer against his ribcage when he hears you say his name, “how long did you spend practicing for this?”

“That’s a secret I can’t tell,” Akashi answers, mischief apparent in his gaze. You pout, disappointed at the answer, but you lean up to kiss him again nonetheless, this time with your arms wrapped around his shoulder. Akashi’s lips curl into a subtle smirk against the kiss, and when your mouth opens slightly as a form of invitation, he wants nothing more than to accept.

When you part, your eyes are half-lidded, and Akashi can’t decide if it’s from lust or love before he concludes that it’s both.

“Aka—Seijuurou, are we...”

“A couple?” He finishes your sentence for you when he senses you trailing off, and then dips down to your jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your skin. “Yes, we are. I’d like you to be mine.”

“Mmm,” you hum in both agreement and pleasure from his treatment, “I’d like that too.”

Scarlet eyes look deep into yours, and he sees love in them just like you see love in his—it’s just a matter of time until the two of you feel right to say it out loud. For now, his violin has initiated the conversation, and you’re speaking with your eyes, with how you admire his face and how he watches your lips move as you speak. For now, the two of you will just bask in romance’s dream.

A time will come in the future when he’ll say he fell in love with you first and you had no idea, but that’s for later, Akashi decides.    

[shadfoland475-blog]

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HOW CANISTER YOU BE POPULAR AND MARKET 1 MILLION IN 2 DAYS As Well As TOP RECOCHOKU DOWNLOAD CHART( prominent among teens and also people in their 20s) BY JUST DEPEND ON BIKINIS OR WOTAS?! . Any kind of instrument that assists a staff member improve their performance pays constant dividends. LECCO - Anche la stagione elderly ha preso avvio con la primavera e anche per quest'anno è la nostra Manuela Valsecchi a portare i colori del Group Gamma nel circuito di Coppa Italia Lead. Preferably, your group should be comprised of individuals with complementary skills, group, experience, and also behavior roles. Within the group in the Circus Maximus in Rome, after the Italian team scored against France. When faced with a tough job, they are quick to aim out short comings of the team. There is no far better method to create a joined and also hardier group than to bond via exercise as we challenge each other's restrictions. Seems by the remarks in recent days those from all parts of the Rugby world provide the All Blacks approval for the best sporting activities team of all time. Establishing excellent communication between staff members is crucial to a company's success, and that's exactly just what synergy achieves, as well as the best way to develop a sense of team" is through specialized training. She joined the Administrative Group in September 2003 as well as is the primary meeting organizer for European conferences. So not only will your work be a lot more enjoyable, it will certainly additionally be far more successful with people you like on your team. . Ancora un weekend dall' attività differenziata per il team Silmax X-Bionic che vedrà i suoi atleti impegnati individualmente sia nelle Granfondo che nell' attività Cross Nation. Last but not least Spartak, despite being potentially my least favorite, still outstanding for 4 star with welliton (really quick, good finisher) in advance as well as mcgeady on one wing, midfield respectable, but once again defence a mild letdown. Most importantly, the group leader ought to gathering with all employee, and also ask each individual for their concepts. As there are a significant variety of variables which affect an individual's involvement within a team Carron, Widmeyer and also Brawley (1985) established the Group Atmosphere Questionnaire (Often referred to as GEQ) which concentrates on four measurements of team cohesion. Perhaps if every person were wearing their matching dart t-shirts on each group one may choose to go around and also NOT interrupt the suit, having the assumption that arranged competition remains in progress. Each participant has their tasks and also tasks that have an affect on the result of the team overall. One of the best ideas I can give you is to have a look at a few of the web sites online that concentrate on information about group building exercises. Group dynamics are drawn out outdoors and ways to use them to excellent effect could be created.