#that one game about dental hygiene

[geebeeskoos]

Jimmy was so, so wrong about Anya throughout the game it makes me furious. He was wrong about her in basically everything, but it's especially aggravating how he dismisses basically everything she has been doing as a nurse.

I wouldn't be the first to say that the fact that she kept Curly alive for fricking five months or so is just insane. And the fact that Anya managed to stabilize him more or less with what limited resources that the crew had is just as impressive. Curly's condition was probably much worse when the crash first happened. Hell, he was definitely dying considering the injuries he got. Yet Anya saved his life! You know, actually, if Pony Express' nursing crash courses are bad, then what Anya managed to do is even more impressive than it already is.

Yes, she failed to get into a proper medical school, but we really don't know the details. Is it her anxiety and other mental health problems that compromise her? Is it the competitiveness of the field? Are the entry exams are even more brutal in the future than they are now? In any case, Anya still doesn't give up, she found a nice source of income considering the situation. Her job gives her the money to not die of starvation and keep trying to get into a medical school AND is related to the field she wants to work in! She's getting plenty of hands on experience that can help her to get what she wants!

So Anya's doing great. And Jimmy, what a surprise, is a stupid petty hater. He's just projecting big time when he talks lowly of people around him, just remember how he sounded at the birthday party scene. Since he's miserable, he must drug everyone down. He's completely blind to the fact that if anyone's a worthless loser who can't achieve anything in life on this ship, it's him.

[scarycranegame]

HI I CANT REPLY TO THE POST BUT YOURE SOOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT

I had the thought that they probably slept together and regret it after bc of the pregnancy but the idea that he raped her was so prevalent online I thought it was stated canon and I was just misremembering or something and i've not yet replayed it

FINALLY OH MY GOD SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS...... we're spinning around and frolicking in a field right now

but yeah no seriously yr right, it is never canonically stated and tbh i dont even consider it heavily implied because. yknow. [gestures to the 2 hours it took to write my theory post]. like.. its a valid interpretation of course, its just that the fandom treats it so much like it was canonically stated that some people think the entire game is about it. which. it very much Is Not™. so i guess what im trying to say is that im really glad to see someone else follow the same train of thought as me!!! :DDD feels good to know im not totally out of touch LMAO

[kobochajunkbox]

Copypasta'd a charming quote I saw from the Mad Max game (2015) to search the source and-

[tatsumi-rin]

Anyone else thought about this?

With the popularity of Mouthwashing as a game, I've seen people who talk about it talk about the mouthwash itself as a metaphor for Jimmy (and they're definitely correct in their read imo), but dear god NO ONE is talking about it as a potential metaphor for Pony Express itself as a company.

This is an item considered to be an essential. It is a dental hygiene product dentists would generally recommend you have. 99.9% of bacteria gone - but this one is loaded with sugar. Using this is going to be detrimental to its own cause and probably worse than using no mouthwash at all.

Pony Express? No matter your start, it seems like a good, stable job and a promising future. People will always need goods transported to other planets. It even has a cute mascot representing pride in their work that they sell toys of to kids!

Butttttt, the caveats. Oh boy, the caveats. All of those cute images are done to soften the blow of little red pieces of text about how doing things to the point of basically existing means your credits are going to get docked - something that's just as much Aperture Science-esque dark humor as horrible foreshadowing. Late delivery? Docked. Resting in any manner for more than five hours? Docked. Using medical support in any manner? Docked. REPORTING ISSUES TO HR??? MOTHER. FUCKING. DOCKED.

And trying to avoid any of those dockings; those detriments? Pretty much impossible, and that would spell doom for anyone: including members of a certain ship. With every one of those rules, if they survived that payout would be hilariously low. The usual rules; made by out of touch people in fancy suits.

The members of the Tulpar all (mostly) had reasons to be there, even at radically different life stages. Reasons why they needed the work, and reasons why it should fulfill those reasons and enrich their lives.

It was meant to be Jimmy's ticket away from struggling on earth. It was meant to be Daisuke gaining direction in life. It was meant to be Anya finally getting into medical school. It was meant to be Swansea gaining a stable and fulfilling life as he made it into sobriety, and it was meant to be Curly making it further up into his career path with glowing words of praise.

As per capitalism's usual spiel that we were even shown in the game itself via public domain cartoon, taking this job was meant to be joyous opportunity and innovation for their lives; but with so many flaws in the system around them around them - including the words on those posters - just trying to find benefit in the system they needed in order to survive was nothing more than fatal poison. The dead pixel, the sugar, and the 0.1% all working together.

[yngtort]

— toothache ❄️

♫ All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth ♫

kinkmas day 1

Fem!reader. mdni. 2.9kw. in which doctor bangchan fills your cavities and the entirety of your mouth.

It hurt like hell.

Exposed to the cold early morning air of the winter, your teeth ache in your mouth. The pain was so aggravating that it had you zooming through the icy roads, trying to get to the dentist as soon as possible.

You had a cavity.

It was obvious, but it still caught you off guard. You genuinely always took good care of your teeth. You brushed, flossed, washed, and even went the extra mile to buy that expensive LED teeth whitening thing from TikTok.

Your hygiene was top tier.

but you’re still pulling into the parking lot of diamond dental with your hand glued to the side of your face.

“Seungmin, I’m freaking the fuck out.” You mumbled into the phone as you hop out of your Nissan, locking it multiple times because you're that kind of person.

The type to worry over little things like a stolen car and dying in a dentist chair.

“It’s not that bad, y/n. You won’t even feel anything.” Your coworker, most importantly your best friend, tells you from the other end.

“You’re acting like you’ve never been to the dentist before.”

He’s right, you have been there— but just to get your teeth brushed a couple times and handed a sticker right after. Not, to be stabbed in the mouth with a needle.

“It’s just been a while and you know how I feel about people’s hands in my mouth.”

“I don’t like the way you worded that.” He faked gagged, “anyways, call me when you’re done, Kay?”

“Kay.” you replied, slightly disappointed as he hung up the phone. Leaving you to walk the path of shame into the dentist office alone.

-

After filling out an extensive amount of paperwork, anxiously shaking your leg for an hour, and losing a mean game of virtual uno— your name was finally called.

You were led to the back by a small lady whose steps were short but impactful. She was so fast, you couldn’t tell if you were a patient or a Maury cameraman.

“Go on in,” she gestured towards the basic oral operation room. You take a seat, awkwardly deciding to put your hands on your stomach.

fuck you’re scared shitless, and the woman seems to notice your discomfort as she tries to distract you with a small conversation. But your eyes are still trained on whatever the fuck she’s putting together.

You inadvertently move away as she holds a silicone piece to your lips, “open as wide as you can,” she instructed.

Gosh, this was embarrassing. You were almost considering letting your teeth rot. But no, that’s gross.

Once the what-ever-it’s-called is placed in your mouth, she brings over another contraption. You assume it’s just a glorified camera, which was correct.

after a few pictures of your teeth, which kinda hurt btw, the woman inspected the photo. “Looks like you have a cavity on one of your molars. Other than that, you take pretty good care of your teeth.”

Pretty good? You felt like your efforts deserved higher praise but whatever. She goes on to tell you what needs to be done and how long it will take.

You grimace at the details.

“The doctor will be with you shortly.” She told before promptly leaving.

And now you’re left in complete silence. Well, not exactly silence. There was some music playing in the back, falling in melody with the constant sound of mechanical wiring from people in the rooms over— probably getting the same procedure. It sounded like someone was dying in there, seriously.

Anxiety filled you to the brim as you considered darting out that room right that second.

But just as you’re about to swing yourself out of your seat, there’s a voice that enters the room.

“Hello, ms.y/n . I’m dr.bang, I’ll be taking care of you for the day.” The doctor says as he steps in-front of you and suddenly you don’t want to move from that seat anytime soon.

He’s an undeniable hottie, even in those generic dentist scrubs that everyone in the faculty sported. For some reason, he just sparkled in them. Maybe it was because of the bulging muscles and his tan skin— whatever it was, your mouth was watering.

“Hello,” you said rather dryly, still locked on the vain that ran down his toned arm.

The doctor gives you a smile, a bright one too, and pulls a seat next to yours. “I hear you have a cavity. Mind if i have a look?” He asks as if you really have a choice. like he’s not already lowering the back of your chair so he can get a good look at your pearly whites.

He goes in with a tiny mirror, holding your chin with his free hand as he inspects the cavity. “You’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth, hmm?” he asked, thumb gliding over your bottom lip.“suckers, perhaps?”

Damn, he called you out.

Now this may sound a little weird, but you’ve always had quite the addiction to lollipops — suckers, the tootsie pop ones specifically. it’s even gotten to the point where you have a jar of them waiting at home on your nightstand.

And it’s not even the flavor of candy itself, you just…like putting things in your mouth?

Moving on !

Dr.bang finally moves back, releasing your jaw that was just starting to hurt. “It's only a small cavity. just need to fill it in for ya and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Honestly, with a face like his, he could play in your hair for as long as he wanted to. Give it a few tugs while he’s at it.

“Okay, but um..” you gulp a bit, toying with the end of your jacket. “Are you gonna give me a shot? My mouth is a bit sensitive, and I was wondering if there were any other alternatives.”

The doctor chuckled softly hearing your concerns. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s heard something like this.

“Unfortunately, the numbing gel that we use wouldn’t be as effective for this procedure.” He said before placing his hand on your shoulder in a reassuring manner. “But I promise it’ll only hurt for a second. I’m sure you can take it, yeah?”

take what? him ? Or the damn needle?

You have no clue, but if he’s gonna talk to you like that, you feel like you could break through a wall if you put your mind to it.

The dirty thoughts don’t get any better throughout the rest of your time in that damn chair either. Dr.bang had quite the mouth on him.

“Open up for me” “atta girl.” “That’s it, just a bit more”, he would say this while fingers were damn there down your throat.

A bit of an overstatement, he’s drilling your teeth, but you wish was drilling his dick—

“All done.”

The back of your chair is lifted up and you try not to let your body slump over. You’ve been lying in that spot for about an hour and a half, teeth being tickled, and eyes being blinded by the dingy light above your head.

And yet, you don’t want to go home.

“Does everything feel okay, ms.y/n? Nothing bothering you?” he asks, removing his glasses and placing them in his —soft— hair.

You shake your head, “nope, just can’t feel my tongue.” You say, poking the side of your face, testing how much force it will take for you to actually start feeling it.

The doctor laughs at your comment, dimples on full display. “The numbness should wear off in a hour or so. Just try not to eat, don’t want you biting your tongue off.”

“Has that actually happened?” You asked, wide eyed and Mr.bang only laughed again.

“On occasion.” He told, “But you’re a smart girl, so I know you won’t disobey doctors orders.”

Does he get paid to talk like that? Or is he just written by a woman with daddy issues?

Both probably.

“Speaking of doctor orders, try to lay off the sugar, yeah? I’m sure you don’t want to see too much of me after today.”

—

“That was obviously an opening for you to flirt with him.” Seungmin scoffs as he closes the register.

You’re at your job, a small candy parlor called sweethearts, talking to your dear coworker about what transpired earlier that day. You didn’t spare him from the dirty laundry that harvested in your mind while you were getting the fill in. Seungmin doesn’t care tho, he’s not judgmental.

That, and you’re his only source of entertainment as the slow part of your shift comes around.

“Flirt? With the dentist? Isn’t there like a rule against that?” You asked, shifting the cherry flavored sucker in your mouth over to the other side of your cheek.

“For him, yeah” Seungmin shrugged, “but I doubt that anyone actually cares nowadays.”

“He’s probably in a relationship.” You popped the candy out your mouth, lips stained in a pretty red. “He’s too fine not to be.”

“And? ” he crossed his arms.

You blink at him a couple times, “I’m not fucking a taken man.”

“Loser.”

“You’re so-“ you sigh. “Whatever, just go restock something.” You push him from behind the counter.

The next few hours seemed to fade into each other as you stood absentmindedly behind the register. Seungmin had already clocked out since he got lucky and was offered a short shift for today. now you’re slouching at the register— phone in hand, while sucking on another tootsie pop.

“Just can’t stay away from those things, huh?” The voice grabs your attention with a force of seven suns.

you know that thick accent too well.

It had replayed in your head for the entirety of the day after your first encounter.

“D-Dr. bang?” you stutter, eyes round as you take in the man in front of you as he sets down a heart shaped box of chocolates.

“Chris.” he corrects, “I don’t like being called doctor outside the clinic. Makes me sound old.”

It makes him sound hot, in your opinion.

You nod a few times before clearing your throat, reminding yourself that you are on the clock.

”Christmas shopping?” you asked, still mentally going feral as gaze over his stature.

He’s dressed like a chase Atlantic song, how could you not ?

“Yes actually. I was looking for some small sweets to fill up a gift basket.”

“Oh” you perk, scanning the chocolates and placing them in a bag. “for your girlfriend?”

“No, don’t have one.” He says with a shrug, “it’s for my mom.”

A mamas boy ! Woo !

a spark of relief shoots through your body as you hear his words. You won’t have to be a homewrecker after all. Not saying that you were planning to but,, it’s just good to know.

“$6.58.” You tell and Chris follows through with the transaction. his hands brushes against yours as you pass the bag to him and you can’t help but blush like a schoolgirl.

“What about you?”

You blink, “what about me?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Is he showing interest too? Is that what this was?

“No, but I dont think these are the kind of questions doctors are supposed to ask.” you say teasingly.

“I’m just trying to get to know my patient better.”

“Uh huh, sure.” you raise an eyebrow, “got anything else you wanna ask?”

Chris crossed his arms, eyes flickering down to the stick that laid between your plump lips. The Candy was completely gone, leaving behind a blue hue on your mouth.

“Your obsession with suckers might’ve peaked my interest.” He told, “do they taste that good that you have to go against my orders?”

That's a really good question. it’s not the first time you’ve heard it, but it stumps you every time. You’re actually a savory kind of girl, like if you had to choose between pie or chips— you’re grabbing the saltiest bag you can find.

But it’s like all your life, you were always sucking on something. Your thumb, jawbreakers, ring pops— anything really.

“I don’t exactly know.” You start, thinking about how to word this. “It’s not exactly the taste…I just kind of like putting things in my mouth?”

Every part of you was expecting to be laughed at, but when not a chuckle left the man’s lips you were just confused.

“So you have an oral fixation?” He asks

“There’s a name for it?” “There’s a name for everything, love.”

“And how do you know all of this?” You push and Chris clicks his tongue.

“I’m a dentist, remember?” Chris takes a step closer, leaning against the counter. “I also know how to satisfy that urge you’ve been feeling.”

Oh.

—

you don’t remember how you ended up like this. pressed against the break room door, tongue tangled with a man you just met.

It’s a crazy situation, but honestly it’s not the wildest thing you’ve done.

your melting into his hold, kiss making you dizzy as if his saliva was laced with some kind of drug. it was absolutely intoxicating, the way his tongue explored every part of your mouth with no restraint.

“Taste so fuckin’ sweet.” He mumbled against your lips.

Chris’s hands roam under your shirt. his cold palms against your warm skin sends a shiver down your spine. Goosebumps follow behind him with every contact as he massages and squeezes your curves.

He pulls back from the kiss and you couldn’t help but whine at the sudden detachment. You try to get him back, but his hand grabs your jaw.

“Don’t worry pretty girl, I got something to fill that dirty mouth of yours.” He coaxes, thumb brushing your swollen lips. “On your knees.”

You take to the floor with no questions asked, eyes coming in direct contact with his bulge and you can’t help but wonder that would even fit in your mouth.

But you won’t back down from the challenge. Your hands almost beggingly climb up his thighs as you look up at him, silently asking for permission.

“If there’s something you want, say it.” Chris tells, head tilted to the side in such an attractive way.

You lean your face up against his leg, “can I put it in my mouth?”

The older grins, “Of course, baby.” He says before unzipping his pants and letting them drop to the floor.

You gulp at how thick his thighs are. Just imagine riding them, wetness dripping all over his skin.

And that’s not even the main event.

his boxers were wrapped so tightly around his dick, each inch was on display and it had your mouth watering. you wasted no time pulling them down, watching it pop up as it’s freed.

“ So big.” You whispered in awe before taking the base into your hands and guiding it to your lips.

“open up for me, love” Chris instructed and you do as told, parting your lips and taking him into your mouth.

the man above lets out a low groan as he's stuffed down your throat. He’s a little surprised at how easily you're handling his girth, lips wrapped around him so snuggly without a single gag.

“Just like that, good girl,” he praises as you suck him like a lollipop. “taking it so well.”

Your head bobbed at a generous rate, hands gripped onto his thighs while you slobbered over his dick. It was such a lewd scene to witness. only worsening when Chris grabs you by your hair, stopping your movements before he takes full control.

his hips reel away before slamming back into your face, fucking your mouth roughly. you whimpered as the head of his dick jabbed the back of your throat repeatedly.

Tears started to well up in your eyes from the harshness of his thrusts. Your throat was rubbed raw and there was an extreme ache in your jaw, but you can’t help being more aroused by the pain. The feeling of being tortured orally had your panties soaked.

So it’s only natural that one of your hands was tucked between your thighs, kneading your clothed clit between your fingers.

“Pretty lil mouth must feel so good finally being used, yea? been practicing on those stupid suckers just for this?” Chris asks cockily, knowing he’d never receive an answer.

He fucks you until his dick is twichting uncontrollably on your tounge, ready to release his thick seed down your throat. But before he even gives you the satisfaction, he yanks back, dick leaving your mouth with a pop.

He decided he’d rather see his cum painting your face than having it disappear without a trace. So he pumps himself in sync with your fingers that were still buried in your pants.

It’s only a matter of seconds before his white ropes drench your face— tongue, lips, lashes— all covered in his mess.

“Fuck” he curses and says something else, but you can comprehend. You're too deep in a daze.

“Y/n.” He calls and calls and calls and calls—

until suddenly his voice loses that thick Aussie accent and instead starts sounding more like your coworker.

“Yo, y/n? I'm gonna clock out soon.” Seungmin says waving his hands in front of your face, “your break was over 30 minutes ago.”

“W-what the fuck???” You blink, still confused and the male just sighs.

“You and your daydreams, man.”

:)

Kinkmas has finally started ! hope you guys enjoyed day 1. I had to quickly cut it short because I type too much and I definitely wouldn’t make the deadline if I continued. That being said, if you would like me to continue toothache as a series just let me know !

— sincerely nni

Tinytag list (open) : @sydnerss @sunnyyangie @foxinnie8 @panjakes

[fyrebendyr]

scott summers / cyclops headcanons i have

his favorite show is seinfeld. regularly chuckles at '80s/'90s sitcoms.

he is a lunch food enthusiast, with his favorite meal being soup and a sandwich. picky eater and only likes specific restaurants if any.

he likes fall because he gets to go on walks with the x-fam and wear his cool jackets. however, one caveat is that fall colors mess with him because the warm tones don't show well through his ruby glasses.

he cares a lot about his hygiene, especially hair and dental care. thinks cologne is obnoxious and unironically wants to smell like a car air freshener.

he likes playing solo card games like solitaire.

he crosses his legs when he sits.

he doesn't use social media because he gets confused easily by it. jubilee tried to make a facebook account for him once and that resulted in nothing.

he genuinely enjoys doing yard work. mowing the lawn can and will be the highlight of this guy's day.

[0utofspellslots]

Inktober day 20: Uncharted

With that one scene from the new dental hygiene game. I'd like to think Anya mentally mapped out that whole night sky while thinking about what would happen the next 8 months. She deserved better man😭

[rottenpumpkin13]

Just wanted to say ur posts always make me cackle 😂. Forget them haters!

Thoughts on how AGSZC would react at the dentist??

(thank you ❤️ 😂 )

Angeal: SOLDIER has a dedicated team of dentists who provide dental care for its operatives, and Angeal is eternally grateful for it. Because his family didn't have much money, he rarely had the opportunity to visit the dentist. While Hollander did offer dental treatments on multiple occasions, Angeal's mother was always wary of Hollander being near her son. So when Angeal joins the army and SOLDIER and gets ready access to dental care, he's determined to follow the dentist's instructions. Too determined, really. He thinks it's a competition.

Angeal: So what's my grade? Dentist: You don't get graded on your oral hygiene. Angeal: But how are my teeth? Dentist: They're in perfect condition⏤ Angeal: Perfect I got an A. Dentist: Angeal: Take that, Genesis. Dentist: Angeal: He got an F didn't he?

Sephiroth: His experiences with dentists have been limited to Hojo either performing his dental work himself or closely monitoring professionals during surgeries and unnecessary procedures (like pulling out teeth to observe how fast they grow). Needless to say, he was hesitant about visiting a regular dentist until Angeal suggested it to show him that not all dentist experiences are uncomfortable.

Sephiroth is pleasantly surprised by the dentist's office he visits in Sector 8.

*During his appointment* Dentist: How are you finding things? Sephiroth: Excellent. The waiting area was stocked with books and magazines, there was calming music, the receptionist offered me coffee. Now there's a TV on the ceiling, which I'm so distracted by that I barely notice the treatment being done. You're also being very gentle. Thank you. Dentist: I'm flattered⏤ Sephiroth: It's nice not having to worry about one of my teeth being extracted against my will. Dentist:

Genesis: "He hates the dentist" is what he tells people, when in reality he lives in constant fear that he'll randomly black out one day and wake up strapped to a dentist chair. No one knows why, not even Genesis himself understands why the dentist makes him so uncomfortable. He doesn't like sitting with his mouth open while someone pokes around in there, he doesn't like how sterile the dentist office feels, he doesn't like the prospect of having a cavity or something he'll have to be treated for, so he combats this by simply not going to the dentist. Done. "If you don't know about it, it doesn't exist."

Unfortunately this backfires horribly the day Genesis won't stop complaining about a toothache⏤and refuses to get it checked⏤so Angeal and Sephiroth take matters into their own hands.

*Lazard sees Angeal and Sephiroth carrying an unconscious Genesis into the elevator* Lazard: Please tell me he's still alive. Sephiroth: No, not murder. We cast sleep on him. Angeal: We're taking him to the dentist. Lazard: And what will you do once he wakes up screaming? *Sephiroth produces a hammer out of nowhere* Lazard: ...............

Zack: Loves the dentist. LOVES it. If Zack could go to the dentist every week, he would.

Angeal: Hey buddy, how was the dentist?

Zack, with his face full of stickers and sucking a lollipop: It was great! They got a new gaming setup for the waiting room. And I watched a movie while the dentist worked, plus he was suuuper proud of how white and healthy my teeth are. He praised me, and I even got a gold star. Oh! And on my way out, he gave me a goody bag. *Zack lifts a bag filled with toothbrushes, toy cars and crayons* Sephiroth: Does the sign outside your dentist's office say 'Pediatric' before it? Zack: Yes, why?

Cloud: Cloud doesn't fear the dentist. The dentist fears Cloud. His dental records come with a warning for every new dentist at the barracks: "WARNING: BITER." He's not doing it on purpose, in fact, he'd rather not have the reflexes that make his jaw clamp shut tightly around foreign objects. His habits are also every dentists worst nightmare. Chewing ice, nail biting, using his teeth as a tool to open things, and drinking a blend of black coffee with soda "because it tastes nice."

Zack: How'd the dentist go? Cloud: He went to the E.R. Zack:

[hassians-sernuk-boyfriend]

okay bc the game has decided I'm not allowed to play I guess: today I am thinking about Oral Hygiene

idk if I've seen evidence of toothbrushes, but everyone SEEMS to have straight, healthy teeth. I am absolutely sure this is something we're not supposed to over-analyze but I'd like to see them Try to stop me.

Zeki has a gold tooth which implies extraction and replacement technology. (probably grimalkin tech??)

Chayne is the town doctor so presumably he's in charge of the town's dental health - the shrine he works at has, like, 4 cots and some jars and does not seem ideal for any sort of surgery but I assume they have some sort of sterilization technology I am not aware of.

possible brushing implements are things like sticks, grasses, reeds. I think bamboo?

pastes/etc I can think of them using..... idk, various soaps. baking soda and salt. alcohols? things like fennel seeds I think

Braces: this one is driving me crazy. With age and poverty, Badruu and Delilah seem like they would have a lot more dental issues at this point, so they're my main evidence that Something is different than how this works irl

Majiri live 150 years how many sets of teeth do they have........................ are they like sharks........

in closing: I think in palia, teeth just naturally are more healthy than irl. I'd love casual chewing-stick/etc mention in game. I'd love some sort of enamel repair mentioned. I'm staring into space thinking about the evolution of human grain chewing teeth and the implications of the same teeth in another species that was possibly Created by the Moon (????) (do they even have evolution in this world..............)

[castleofclouds]

You do have quite the “Sweet Tooth.”

A mark lee × reader au

Genre : fluff, humor, slice of life, doctors

Disclaimer : everything are fiction, non-idol au, grammar and typo might happen, mark as doctors.

Story are by © castleofclouds, do not copy, or repost without any tags!

—✧—⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖—✧—⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖—✧— ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖—✧—⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪

This is your third visit to the dentist, for the same reason of course cavity treatment, this is the third time in a year your teeth been nothing but aching, and if there is one thing about you, is that you hate dentist. Especially the one in front of you.

Any of them actually, even though the dentist that are treating you right now have a face like a porcelain sculpture, you still didn't like seeing him sighing, breathing heavily.

doctor Mark is what you would normally called is your dentist, and you are quite a loyal customer/patients for his clinic.

“Again? What did you do this time? Eat chocolate and don't brush your teeth after it? I told you too many times how important it is to brush your teeth two times a day?” Mark, your dentist look at you with another dissapointed gaze.

You don't understand why he is mad, isn't it his job to treat you as his patients? Besides if you keep coming to his dental clinic? Isn't that an advantages for him than yourself? He kept getting payed and you get to keep destroying your teeth. Case closed? Why is he so worked up about it?

“You know me..” you answer sheepishly, he rubbed his forehead, confused in what way any more can he told you? He keep explaining to you how mouth hygiene were everything, and you should stop with your bad habits of keep eating sweets like they are your meal for the day.

“What about the diet that I assigned you?” he asked again, you shakes your head to show your disagreement.

You don't like the diet, one thing about you, that doctor Mark keep reminding you off, are the facts you don't even eat fruits, you even once said you rather got starving in the middle of the desert than eating a fruit.

That's right, you hated fruit.

It's not a secret any more, well at first it is, Mark never see someone that hates fruits as much as you do, he keep assigning you to at least eat fruits a day, but you always ended up coming back to his clinic with your teeth aching, he shakes his head, not in disagreement, he is just predicted this. Disappointing but not much of a surprise.

“Why do you hate fruits that much?” he asked eagerly, you wondered why, you never really thought of it yourself, you just hate them, some fruits have weird textures, some fruits have odd smell, some fruits are just not up to your liking, you just hate them without ever trying to eat them.

“If I love them, I wouldn't be here wouldn't I?” your sarcastic remarks, causing him to chuckle in pity, not for you, but for him, to even think you had another reason why you don't like the thoughts of fruits.

Well Mark is a very diligent doctor, he takes pride in his job, it pained him to see a patient that couldn't be healed, well he seems to be a very honest person isn't it? Or he is just that kind to even let you, basically a stranger to have a healthier life, where your teeth are perfectly fine, and you ate fruits like its your breakfast, no one knows.

Then there's a thoughts, an idea, crossing through his head into his mind, like a sudden light show on top of his head, turn on by his idea, like a brilliant character you often see in an old movie, an idea that he will hate later, but Mark is Mark, and he is a dentist, he works as one, then he gonna be doing his jobs right.

“What about a bet?” hearing the sounds of bet, are too intriguing for you not to hear intensively, like if your minds had a favorite keywords, bet would be the first one to pop.

You like the thoughts of a game, and hearing it from Mark, your usual dentist is not something you often see, like what is it? And what kind of prizes you could asked for later? Your mind already running wild with thoughts when he snapped you out from your daydream.

“Sure! A bet is fun, what kind of bet?” you asked, he thinks for a while before words spilling out of his mouth, “A bet, if you could eat at least one fruits, any kind, doesn't matter if there is a repetition, as long you eat, a whole fruit within a day for a solid one month, I'll consider that as a win.” He declared waiting for your response.

Seems fun, but you hated fruits? Can you even do this? Hesitation clouded your mind like a rainy day, you tried to think how you are going to do this challenge?

“But what are the prizes if I do win?” you asked, he thinks for a while before flicking his fingers in instant, “Free treatment for a whole month?”

This is great idea, you are in need of some savings, you couldn't always relying on your salary that doesn't even cover most of your meals, this is like a gold that you found on a random dig hole on random mountain walk, you hit a jackpot!

You were almost agreeing, when a fun idea came back filling your mind, like a circus full of entertainment, “But how do you know that I'm not lying?” you grinned, he was dazed, he didn't think it through though? How can he make sure you do eat your fruits?

“I... I'm not sure..” he tried to found a way, that's when your fun ideas came to play, “How about we play fake dating?” you joked, how does that could run through that pretty head of yours? You don't know but you don't mind, it's fun to tease anyway.

So how does this make any sense? Well at first you know you just have to make sure that you win this bet, Mark would 100% change his mind and didn't agreed, but you would still win, why? You can just play pretend, like you somehow eat a fruit, nowadays it's not hard to manipulate a photo? This will be easy.

“Great idea, sure!” you smiled, completely didn't get the idea, “Of course just as I thought you wouldn't be.. Wait what?!” you were astounded, yelling a question that you would never understand why, “I said it's a great idea, let's do it, besides I feel like this would be fun!” Mark felt a rush of dopamine filling his mind into his heart, he loves this feeling, this is the first time in 5 years since he became a dentist.

Well.. Turns out dating or in your case, play dating with a dentist, isn't as fun as you thought it will be, it's been a week, and he had been nothing but a nagging mom.

Mark would make sure to call you every time his appointment ended on weekday, like some days ago, he were busy making sure to see you eat your grape that he send you himself this morning, sometimes when he isn't that busy, he would just barged in, like he owns the house (he is actually not, you just loved being dramatic) he often make sure to visit you, just to watch you swallowing down those orange juice that he makes.

It takes a whole dedication to do all of that, and two days after which is now you are having a date, at a very cute cottage vibe cave, with lots of natural plants, and sunlight, he prepared your food, it's a cute strawberry croffle with lots and lots of strawberries and some berries on the side.

“How is it? I know you probably bored eating and drinking just juice and fruits, so I tried something fun, I picked this one myself actually..” he blushed, you smiled shyly, never knew the dentist that always up right and uptight had this romantic side of him.

You kinda wanted to know, does he ever dated before? He looks so experienced in it, kinda make you feel sad, but then you shakes those thoughts away, why do you feel sad? This is Mark, the dentist that are always at your throat remind you how much fruits are important, nagging you about your mouth hygiene and much more.

“Why? You don't like it? do you want to try anything else? Or swapping with mine? It's blueberry croffle it's less sweet, oh you have sweet tooth do you perhaps wants chocolates one?” he asked softly, gosh he looks so attractive with his casual clothes, you imagine him smiling and spoon fed you the croffle, like actual boyfriend.

“Oh nothing, it's great too, strawberry is fine.” you answered, he worried, “Sorry, this is boring isn't it, I don't know much about dating, I only watch them on some movies, I saw this scene of taking your girlfriend to a cute cafe and enjoy a croffle, I should have asked you first..” as soon as you heard that, you chuckled, quite loudly people looks at your table as you tone it down.

“No, this is fun! More fun than most dates I've been, it's.. Sweet, thanks.” you smiled as soon as the laughter died down, he smiled genuinely, “As sweet as chocolates?” he teased, you laughed and nodded, “As sweet as chocolates.”

Few weeks passed, many things happen, Mark morning call had been nothing but your favorite part of the day, every dates is fun, he often takes you to a random cafe that served cute fruits dessert, he often brought you to the parks, eating ice cream, crepes, bagels, even though after that he will lecture you at evening, how it's important to always brush your teeth before go to bed, sometimes you would be so tired you just fell asleep while he lectures you about many things, he would always make sure to just spend a solid 10 minutes listening to your soft breathe as you sleep soundly on the phone.

Mark couldn't focus one bit, he always find himself to wonder how would it be, if you two were actually a thing, he couldn't help but putting so many aesthetic cafes around the city hoping one day you both would go there and have a talk, not like the usual patients and doctor, but as individual that enjoying each other company.

As soon as you came to your usual checkup appointments, he smiles brightly, like a kid that just see his favorite person came into the room.

“Do you have breakfast yet?” he asked, you smiled, “Yes doc.” he sighed in relief, “How is your teeth any sign of pain lately?” he continues, you shakes, lately your teeth have been nothing but being good, you don't feel any aching you often feel at night.

He smiles, when he were writing on his notes, you look around his office, you see a calendar next to his notes and clocks.

It's already been 28 days, it's almost times up, you feel sad, you didn't want this feeling to stop though, you want someone to keep remind you to eat apples once a day, prepare a healthy orange juice, cute dates, stroll around the park, sight seeing the scenery of the beautiful city you live in, a daily lecture before bed that Mark often do, so many things that he did somehow feels like a habit for you, you didn't want it to stop.

He found your eyes looking at the calendar, he didn't realize, he cough a bit to catch your attention, “Ah.. It's almost time isn't it?” he speak, you agreed.

How can you tell him that you wish the bet didnt have to end, you couldn't, Mark on the other way thinking of what he should say next, can he asked for this playing dating game to continue? What if you didn't want to play it anymore? At the end both of you just ended up taking a glance at each other no conclusion what so ever.

Even after the bet ended, you ended up winning but at what cost? You aren't this fake girlfriend of Mark as you used to, your morning today seems dull, nobody called you, even though you have been waiting, so many fruits on your fridge left untouched, you take a stroll, today is a weekend so you wish to enjoy your time alone, somehow so many couples walk past you, you wanted to curse yourself to even take stroll on this park, today park were crowded with people holding hands, kissing, talking, yet you alone.

You sighed, you wish Mark were here, as you sit at the park bench, you sat there wondering if you should just go on some random blind date to found someone to fill the emptiness inside your heart, when a breeze of winds blew your hair, flowers today were beautifully bloomed, on the corner of the crowd you see someone walk with his eyes focused on you, bouquet of flowers on his right hands, a smile that warms your heart, as he close the gap between the both of you standing in front of you.

“Sorry, am I late for our date?” you couldn't believe your ears, you didn't have to think twice as you throw yourself to his embrace, Mark holds you tightly as he whispered, “Let's stop playing pretend this time okay?” you laughed at that.

You guess you didn't have to worry about your sweet teeth anymore, because you found someone more sweets than all of the chocolates and candies in the whole world.

Masterlist.

A/N

Okay, I want y'all to know HOW MUCH I LOVE I HATE FRUITS gosh, at first I don't really understand why so many people fond of it, until I read the lyrics, gosh. IT'S SO SWEET WTH? and actually I got this ideas from this habit of mine tho, I don't like fruits, and I fear mark hear my thoughts and make the song? (I'm joking, about the song based on me, but I do doesn't really fond of fruits okay?) And I just got this idea somehow all of the sudden how do yall like it? Hope you like it tho, another one shot ig?

[radioisntdead]

(To maybe save our hearts from the angst, how about a cuter idea? could be any gender really and be seen as platonic or not just very vague fluffy fun)

A reader who is similar age to Susan and is the opposite type of old person, a gentle Grandparent who has old person candies at all times. Most importantly however is the only one who can calm Susan's feral chihuahua energy, only when they need to of course.

They play cribbage on weekends, and definitely both chat about the youngins- maybe playfully feud on which is better Knit or Crochet

Good evening my dear! This is a little shorter then I wanted but I did write it in a hair salon, where at the time of posting I'm still in.

Bitter and sweet

Warnings!!!

Cannibalism, Reader is GN but gives off old lady grandma vibes, this is written in little drabbles mainly because I wrote them in an hair salon

Susan had a neighbor, she lived to the left of her house, while Susan's house was more stale and strict appearing her neighbor's was more soft colors, with gnomes outside and a lovely garden filled with all types of hell's flora,

You'd think the two would be at odds but they got along well, going out for tea each day, on weekends they'd go to bingo or play a game of cribbage, although they did get into tiffs about what was better between crochet and knitting, like how crochet is easier for some to pick up with the sole hook, or how knitting uses less yarn then crochet, They were dear friends, and this is some tidbits with them.

You and Susan had opposing aesthetics but that didn't stop the two of you from matching outfits in some way or another, she wore her usual pinkish dress? You were two feet away from her in more brighter attire.

"Kids these days are getting more and more foolish each day, fucking crying in the middle of the streets!"

Susan said, sat on a bench looking across the street at some poor cannibal gal sobbing as her dearest assumingly ended things

When you didn't respond she looked over at you only to see that you were gone,

"Where the hell- [Name]!"

You had dashed over to the gal, swatting at her former lover with your handfan, scolding him for breaking things off in the middle of the streets inside of somewhere private or inside a restaurant as the girl sobbed into your arms,

"Shh, it's alright you deserve better, someone with manners!"

You said patting her back, glaring at the unmannered former lover while Susan groaned from her seat, you just had to butt into other people's business didn't you!

Like she didn't do the same at times.

......

"You uncultured, red-40 looking, bad dental hygiene, modern technology radio man!"

Susan raised her cane to the Radio Deer man, you had just entered Rosie's Emporium for a snack,

"Susan! No! That is terribly rude!"

You shouted dashing over quickly before Susan could do anything, pushing down her cane, while apologizing,

"My apologies! I'll escort her out, here buy yourself something tasty"

You said taking the radio demons hand and placing some money and a few pieces of candy into it before linking an arm with Susan and taking her outside while scolding her as she grumbled, leaving the Radio demon lowkey stunned and missing his mother.

You were how he imagined she would've been if she lived to be elderly.

.....

"For fuck's sake! Why are you in my house?"

Susan shouted as she walked into her kitchen only to see you adorned in an old lady apron chopping away at some vegetables while some type of meat simmered on the stove,

"Making us lunch obviously! I have news about that lovely gal we met on the street a few months ago! She's going steady with my nephew, the one with the good job not the one that's married, and I must tell you what her scandalous ex lover had to say-"

You rambled on, mixing up slang from different decades Susan could care less about the gal who was sobbing on the streets but you seemed to hellbent on telling her about the 'tea' as you called it.

.....

"Susie, let's listen to what the princess has to say before booing her off the stage, this is why she called you an old bitch''

You said linking an arm with Susan before shouting over at Charlie as Rosie pulled her aside,

"My apologies!"

You chased down Charlie at a later date to give her some candies for her troubles with Susan,

You paid visits to the hotel after that, bringing treats for the residents.

....

"Knitting is superior, it uses less yarn then your hook, knitting takes far more skill and that little crochet thing seems easier.''

Susan said knitting a scarf as you sat across from her, crocheting a net.

"Susie, you are my dearest friend and I love you, But I can and will surplex you into a wall if you say that again."

Hearing that while you wore the sweetest smile would strike fear into the average sinner.

......

"Are we thinking barbecue? Grilled? Perhaps baked? Oo I recently picked up some new seasonings we could try!"

You shouted over to Susan as you threw a net at an exorcist pulling them down and stabbing them with an angelic weapon before discarding them to the side to harvest their wings later,

"I don't give a donkeys ass as long as they taste good!"

.....

"Susie?"

"Hm?"

"I'm dying again."

"Don't be dramatic!''

She smacked you gently on the head with her cane as you broke out in laughter, angel wing in your hand and gold around your mouth.

Good evening folks! I am actively dangling Susan around like a keychain, I should invest in a Susan keychain, are Susan keychains a thing???

[geebeeskoos]

Anya was so right when she said that in the back of her mind the [dead pixel] is always there btw

[scarycranegame]

people who think mouthwashing is about rape clearly haven't played how fish is made/the last one and then another

[mintyisms]

Strange Horticulture Inspired Headcanons

prompts inspired by some of the names, descriptions, and uses of plants from the game Strange Horticulture

Aguria - How does your muse feel about psychics? Would they ever seek one out for answers about the past, present, or future?

Bella Nox - Is your muse prone to obsessions? Do they ever become so obsessive they might forget to eat or sleep? What is their current or most recent obsession?

Brimlock - Does your muse prefer cold or warm weather? Do they travel as the season changes to avoid cold, rainy, or scorching seasons?

Burdum - Does your muse have any superstitions? Do they have any objects they consider lucky or unlucky?

Caballia - Does you muse believe in an afterlife? Do they believe their actions in their current life have any impact on what happens in the next?

Candlewood - Would your muse be considered neurodivergent? Have they been diagnosed with or treated for any sort of mental illness? How do they feel about the concept of mental health in general?

Carnivorous Torren - Does your muse eat meat? If so, would they ever consider going vegetarian or vegan? Why or why not?

Cauldery - Does your muse hunt? If so, what do they use to hunt what type of game? Do they have any sort of moral stance on the way hunting should be done?

Clavilium - Does your muse know how to pick locks? If so, how have they used this skill in the past?

Common Trouse - How good or bad is your muse's eyesight? Do they need any kind of corrective lenses to be able to see? Have they undergone any sort of surgery to correct their vision issues?

Daisy Dock - Has your muse ever experienced an event that required them to show great courage? What kind of impact did it have on them as a person?

Demmel - What sort of behaviors does your muse display when they are worried or nervous? Do they have any coping mechanisms they use to calm themselves down?

Embersoul - Where would your muse consider to be their safe space? Does it have more to do with the place itself or the people associated with the place?

Feverkiss - Does your muse depend on caffeine to make it through the day? What's their go-to form of liquid energy?

Forest Camphry - How quickly does you muse fall asleep? Are they able to sleep anywhere or do they need specific conditions to fall asleep? Do they sleep soundly or wake up multiple times over the course of the night?

Fox Button - How many friends does your muse have? Are they able to form friendships easily? How much effort do they put into maintaining friendships?

Gandyroot - Are there any foods that cause your muse gastrointestinal discomfort? Do they avoid these foods, take medicine to help with the side effects, or just eat them and suffer the consequences?

Glowhorn - Is your muse afraid of the dark? Did they sleep with a nightlight as a child? Do they as an adult? What kind of things do they imagine lurk in the dark?

Grey Sandfire - Does your muse keep up with their dental hygiene? Are they missing any teeth? Are they at all self-conscious about their smile? Have they ever had braces?

Harlequin Blue - Has your muse ever screamed in genuine terror? Did the situation scar them in any way, whether mentally or physically?

Haverage - Does your muse believe in the idea of soulmates? Have they found theirs yet or are they still looking?

Henchuck - How forgetful is your muse? Do they have any methods for reminding themselves of things?

Jacob's Worth - Has your muse ever gotten genuinely lost somewhere before? Were they able to find their way to safety/home by themselves?

Lesser Merrydock - How sharp are your muse's mental faculties? How much value do they place on their mind? How would they react if they discovered they were suffering from cognitive decline?

Lisle of Neptune - How honest is your muse? Do they believe white lies are okay? How do they handle being lied to?

Mary's Breath - How good is your muse at keeping secrets? If sworn to secrecy, is there a price someone could pay (monetary or otherwise) to get them to spill the beans? Do they trust others enough to share their own secrets?

Mellow-Glow - Does your muse ever feel invisible or ignored? How do they react to these feelings?

Mountain Astory - How persuasive is your muse? Would they ever consider going into politics or sales?

Red Abony - Does your muse have any secret hiding places? What sort of things do they hide there?

Solomon's Sceptre - Does your muse believe that witchcraft is real? Do they embrace it or are they afraid of it?

St. John's Poppy - How is your muse's hearing? Do they often engage in activities that may damage their hearing? Do they wear hearing protection?

Sunset Mountcap - Does your muse believe in ghosts? Would they ever try to communicate with ghosts or spirits?

Thum - What kinds of scents does your muse prefer when it comes to things like soaps, candles, or body sprays? Are there any popular scents they absolutely hate?

Trimblehuff - How does your muse feel about weddings? Is there a particular kind of wedding they enjoy? Do they dream about what their own will be like? Do they even want a wedding?

Wild Cole - How often does your muse drink? Do they commonly experience hangovers? Are there any cures they swear by for dealing with hangovers?

Winterbore - Is your muse the type of person to relocate a spider or kill it?

[alitheakorogane]

My Genshin Impact SAGAU Masterlist

Made a master list for my SAGAU content so you won't get lost. Will be updated with new content.

Will always be updated as soon as a new SAGAU content comes by!

Reader's Protection Squad Series (SAGAU Imposter AU)

Freedom's Protection (Mondstadt)

STATUS: Still in the works!

The Two Imposters - Our beloved protagonist had finally met the Anemo Archon himself. Is he really one of your allies in surviving in this world where people wanted to kill you for 'stealing' the face of the Divine Creator or is he one of them?

May the Anemo Archon Protect You - You were chased out by your beloved characters from Mondstadt who thought that you were the imposter that 'stole' the face of the person you remembered who never even exist in the game files. Meanwhile, their own disguised Archon had done something stupid that could change everything forever.

A Blasphemy or The Truth? - Venti's outburst shocks everyone, making the people of Mondstadt question everything they knew about their Archon.

Stirring Up a Hurricane - The bomb was finally dropped, leaving nothing but a series of chain reactions spreading around the area... Literally. Venti revealed himself as the Anemo Archon Barbatos to his people as a last resort for defending you, causing the entire nation of Mondstadt to go into chaos.

The Eye of the Anemo Archon's Anguish - Venti had accidentally raised a wind barrier to defend you, your friends, and himself... but it caused some people to suffer the brunt of the Swirl reaction and activated his underlying trauma, causing him to lose control of his emotions and his power. As he was getting close to a nervous breakdown, the people noticed that the skies above the city of Mondstadt are starting to change.

Please Forgive Me - Venti tries to visit you while you're still recovering from your injuries and tries to apologize. At the same time, you found out the truth about the Divine Creator from Venti.

----------

Glitching Impact (Corrupted Game SAGAU)

STATUS: Title is STC, while still plotting ideas for this concept...

The Original Corrupted Game!SAGAU Concept of

Corrupted Game!SAGAU, but loosely based on Wreck-It Ralph...

Plot twist Idea Based on Corrupted Game!SAGAU

---------

Random SAGAU Oneshot Stories

"Who's your favorite Genshin Impact character?"

Just A Normal Genshin Impact Game Time...Is It?

SAGAU featuring the Unusual Hilichurl (Wei)

---------

SAGAU Fanarts

Corrupted Game AU - Venti (Based on Faceless Ayato concept)

------

Random SAGAU Ideas and Thoughts

What if the Seven Gnoses are actually fragments of the Divine Creator's Soul?

What would happen if Venti got the same treatment as the Reader in those angsty SAGAU fics?

SAGAU and Regarding the Artifacts!

Short Villain!SAGAU Dialogue (1)

Short Villain!SAGAU Dialogue (2)

SAGAU (Imposter AU), but you have a snarky personality and a fiery tongue.

My SAGAU Playlist (Imposter AU) - PART ONE

Heights in SAGAU

Wishing for Characters Despite You Haven't Met Them Yet In-Lore

Kaveh: From a Humble Architect to a Man of Destruction? (Based on the now-confirmed recent hack using Kaveh)

Imagine Playable Characters Saying This (Screenshot came from a quest in Genshin Impact 4.8)

--------

Reply to SAGAU-related Asks from Anon

How I Will Portray the Archons In My Twist of the Imposter AU

Venti's Characterization In Reader's Protection Squad

U alive???

A Teaser for The Eye of the Anemo Archon's Anguish

We will give him the best treatment that our beloved Venti deserves.

--------

Random Incorrect Quotes for SAGAU

Among Us

Arrows With Love

Does Barbatos even know the existence of dental hygiene?

Chased Out By Obsessed People

Venti reacting on his SAGAU!Imposter/Cult AU self and his insane actions

Making Fun of Venti's Terrible Aim

Zhongli's Meteors Probably the Cause of the Dinosaurs' Extinction

Memory of Dust

Peace Was Never An Option

A Suggestion: Drinking Contest

[sl-newsie]

Mature (Dr. Spencer Reid x College Student)

(Summary: The BAU gets a case that takes place near a college campus, and one student seems to catch Reid’s attention. There is a bit of an age gap. This is based during the end of Season 6. Warnings: Talk of cannibalism, gun violence)

“Remember class: Monday’s exam will have 150 questions and no makeups. Remember to study hard!”

My dental hygiene professor finally releases us, signaling the beginning of the weekend. It’s currently 5:30 on a sunny but crisp Friday in October. Nothing special, but the lack of leaves and chilly frosts makes it one of my favorite seasons. But I can’t take too much time to watch the weather- I’ve got work to do.

Of course I’m the only student who dares to sit in the front of the lecture hall, and I take my time to gather up my things as the others start filing out.

“You going to the game tonight?” One guys asks his friends.

“Yeah it’s gonna be sick! You’re bringing the beer, right?”

“Sure am! And what about-” He whispers: “The pot?”

Their conversation dies away as the walk out of the room, leaving me to shake my head in disappointment. No doubt their whole weekend will involve drinking, getting high, and possible sexual content. More than likely they’ll fail the exam.

“Merrian! Are you coming to the game?” I hear one classmate, Regina, ask.

“No, I can’t. I’m going for a jog and then starting my flashcards for the exam.”

Regina, one of the more popular and *cough* snobby girls gives me a fake smile. “Oh you never go to any social events! Why not give that brain a break and be a college student for once?”

I just shake my head and continue to look through my notes. “I am being a college student, only I’m being a smart one and actually trying to get through this class without depleting any brain cells through alcohol abuse.”

But my insult flies right over Regina’s head. She just keeps smiling, turns and walks away, leaving me (no surprise) alone again. But it appears today has something else in store, because the door opens and my professor walks back in leading a group of people who look way too professional for a place like this. The one that appears to be the leader is tall, dark-haired, and is wearing a traditional business suit. The man following next to him appears to be of Italian descent and is wearing a dark suit similar to the leader’s. Next is a blonde woman wearing- quite honestly, one of the most unique outfits I’ve ever seen. It’s a purple and blue patterned dress, hot pink heels, and a big purple bow with her hair in pigtails (it almost puts my current Veronica Sawyer gray skirt and blue blazer outfit to shame). Another man is bald with darker skin and a more athletic build, wearing a more laid-back style of clothing, obviously the muscle of the group. And last behind him is- huh. He’s a lot younger (and much cuter) than the others, one might say a few years older than me. He’s dark-haired like the other men and wearing slacks with a white shirt with a gray vest and blue tie, almost matching me. But what stands apart from his attire is the pistol tucked in a holster attached to his belt. It’s almost like the one I’ve got tucked under my skirt (for protection, of course). Are these guys from the police station? They don’t look like local authorities.

But sadly I’m still in the front and am caught looking.

“Who’s the model?” The blonde with pigtails asks, making me turn pink.

My professor finally notices me. “Oh yes. This is Merrian, one of my students. She’s just packing up-”

“On the contrary, it might be nice to have a younger person’s opinion on this matter,” the Italian agent speaks.

A younger opinion?

“By the way, I love your blazer!” The blonde squeals and rushes over to get a better look.

I title my head. “Not too bad yourself, Barbie.”

But the leader doesn’t seem too impressed. “At ease, Garcia. Remember why we’re here.”

The blonde nods and backs off, leaving me facing the group head-on.

“Is she trustworthy? We need to keep this as confidential as possible,” the athlete says.

My professor nods her head. “Merrian is one of the most dedicated students I have. I guarantee she’ll give you her best effort.”

“Very well.” The leader steps forward to shake my hand. “I’m FBI Agent Hotchner of the BAU. These are Agents Rossi, Morgan, Garcia, and Dr. Reid.” He points to each agent, and when he introduces Agent Reid I can’t help but notice his body language shifts. He keeps playing with his hands and changing his footing, and isn’t as relaxed as the other agents. Maybe he just drank coffee.

I give a small wave. “Hello. So, what is it you guys do? Obviously you’re a government department but I’ve never really paid attention to that stuff.”

“Don’t you watch the news?” The blonde ‘Garcia’ asks.

“Nope.”

This answer gets me surprised reactions, especially from Reid. 

“Why not?”

Yes, he’s definitely younger. His voice reminds me of the smart nerd type, but with my educational history I’ve never actually been able to meet many smart guys so it’s very new to hear this.

I shrug. “Ignorance is bliss. I figure if there’s something that’s truly important that’ll affect me then I’ll hear about it sooner or later. I try not to let the fear that strands from current events control my life.”

“Ok. Then to catch you up, we have a potential threat that’s been sited near the edge of town. There’s a man who’s been catching people in hunting traps and then eating them.”

Uh- Oh my! Was not expecting that. 

I try to keep a steady face. “Alright. So what does this have to do with me?”

“Your current study of dental work, plus the unsub seems to prefer female victims,” Reid speaks up. “There’s one witness who managed to escape his trap, but not before he bit her. We’ve been able to analyze the teeth marks, but it doesn’t match the correct dental records. They show the unsub’s supposed to be someone who died 10 years ago. We checked the death certificate and sure enough the body’s buried in a nearby cemetery. Do you have any ideas why?”

I take a deep breath and try to piece together what I’ve learned so far. I’ve only been in this program for a year, but that doesn’t mean I’m useless.

“Take your time,” Agent Rossi assures. “It doesn’t have to be much, just anything we might have missed-”

I snap. “I got it! Have any of you guys ever seen the movie The Whole Nine Yards with Bruce Willis?”

Most shake their heads, but then Reid seems to follow my idea.

“Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? Brilliant, Marrian!”

“Excuse me, mind letting us in on your inside joke?” Agent Morgan questions.

“At the end of the movie, they modify another body’s teeth to match Bruce Willis’ character and then burn it in a fire so the mafia will think he’s dead. What if this unsub had dental work done so he couldn’t be traced? ” My explanation starts the agents sparking up new conversations, leaving me to believe I might have actually just helped solve an FBI case.

“I know it’s not the type of professional answer you might have wanted.”

“That’s just the kind of insight we were looking for,” Agent Hotchner finally addresses me. “Thank you, Merrian. We’ll be sure to stay in touch and inform you if this threat is neutralized.”

He walks out, followed by Morgan. But the others linger for a moment.

“You’re taking all of this surprisingly well,” Rossi points out. “Ever consider becoming a profiler?”

I chuckle. “I did once, a few years ago. Sociology is one of my favorite subjects to learn, but I’ve just used that as a hobby. When I looked further into the job description I decided I wanted a career that wouldn’t take so much out of my free time. So for now I’m sticking with dental hygiene.”

He nods. “Well if you change your mind, here’s my card.” He hands me his contact info and exits after the other 2 agents.

“Tell me- where did you get your shoes?” Garcia asks when she points to my feet.

“Oh. Um, Goodwill actually.” I’m a bit embarrassed to say I’m a thrifter, but in college all money must go to classes.

“They’re so cute! I’ll email you my list of favorite thrift websites later,” she remarks as she walks to the door. 

“B- But Agent Garcia you don’t have my email-?”

“I’ll find it.” She winks. “And call me Penelope!”

She gives Reid a smirk and shuts the door, leaving me alone with the last agent.

“I gotta ask, how old are you?”

My blunt question doesn’t seem to be new to him. “30.”

I was right!

“Sorry for asking, but it’s just very different-”

“To see someone like me on a government bureau team,” he finishes. “It’s ok, lots of people ask. I could say the same thing about you.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

He mirrors my confusion. “Aren’t you close to my age?”

“I’m 22.”

Reid’s eyes widen. “No way! You look- I mean, you seem- Um… you don’t act 22.”

I chuckle and go to grab my backpack. “I get that a lot. My mom says I’m more mature than most people my age, which means I have to be forced to associate with immature peers. I just hope other people never assume I’m the typical college type. You know, drugs, drinking, sex, procrastination. I’ve never even gone to one party. I apologize for the idiots you might come across here.”

I expect the FBI agent to leave it at that and go off to find his team, but instead he jogs up behind and walks with me down the hall.

“No I don’t see you like that, it’s just… you’re definitely more mature, and seem more clear-headed than the other students I’ve seen here so far.

I hold my head back and laugh. “Oh, no. By no means am I as smart as you might think. I have what I call ‘selective knowledge.’ I never picked just one topic I like, so I find bits and pieces of information about all kinds of topics. But not too much in depth that I’m an expert. With what I know about you so far I’d say you’re way more smart.”

He looks down. “Yeah, kinda.”

“Spill it. What’s your education background?”

“Um… I’ve got PhDs in mathematics, chemistry, and engineering. Bachelor’s in psychology, sociology, and in the process of one in philosophy.”

I stop dead in my tracks and turn to look at him with wide eyes. “And you’re downplaying that? Jesus, you’ve got more knowledge stuffed in your brain then I’d ever have in 5 lifetimes! Why choose a job in the BAU?”

He considers this. “I find that I do some of my best work under intense terror.”

I nod. “It’s nice to know what type of job works best. I’ve jumped around different jobs, and still haven’t found one that fits right. As for the terror thing, props to you for dealing with that on a daily basis.”

Dr. Reid seems surprised. “Hm. You don’t mind crazy talk, do you?”

I stifle a laugh and hold the next door open for him to pass. “‘Crazy talk?’ What’s that?”

“Talking about subjects that any random passerby would find odd, like murder or psychological disease.”

“You’re talking to someone who watches The Conjuring as a comfort film. I don’t call that crazy talk, I call that enjoyable conversation,” I smile cheekily as he walks past me through the doorway. “You gonna go find your team now?”

Reid clears his throat and bites his lip. “Well, um… Since the unsub’s been sighted near the city I should make sure to get you to your dorm safely.”

This unsub must be pretty dangerous for him to be this anxious. Or is it something else that’s got him so worried? I must say it feels nice to have a smart guy to talk with who’s actually taking the time to make sure I’m safe instead of daring me to chug a beer.

“Aw, that’s sweet. But I don’t live in a dorm, I live in a small rented room downtown.”

“Really? I guess you really aren’t like normal students. So where are you going now?”

Is he asking professionally or out of curiosity?

“There’s a secret spot I have in the theatre lab. Dark and quiet with a nice table. Good for studying.”

He perks up. “Dark? Do you think you could show me?”

I shrug and start leading him to the lab, pushing my sleeve back to check my watch. “Sure, just don’t tell anyone. I like having a place where stupidity is at a minimum.”

Reid gets a wide grin on his face and follows eagerly. “Your secret’s safe with me. It’s kind of embarrassing but lately I’ve been dealing with- Oh my gosh! Are you hurt?”

I follow his gaze to my arm, which has gauze wrapped around it. I’m surprised he noticed- usually people don’t give it a second thought.

“Wha-? Oh, no. I donated plasma earlier today and have to keep this on for 2 hours.”

“I see. Do you get paid?”

“Yup. If they’re willing to pay me to sit in a chair for an hour, money is money. Gotta pay the college bills somehow. So what have you been dealing with?”

“Right. Um, I’ve had these headaches for a while now and none of the doctors I’ve seen can tell me what’s wrong. They’re triggered by bright lights, so that’s why I like to find dark places to think.”

Hearing this makes me sad, especially since a nice guy like him shouldn’t have to go through something like that.

“Then don’t have me keep ya waiting. Here we are!”

Now we’re at the theatre lab and when I open the door to let him in, Reid . “So then how are you liking your dental hygiene clinicals?”

I set my backpack down and switch a small light on. “I like it, but it’s more of a job that pays well and allows me free time. Next summer I’m looking into a program that gives me a certificate in culinary pastry design-” I stop myself before I start ranting. “Sorry, I don’t mean to talk your ear off. People don’t always listen this long so I usually just talk to keep away any awkward silence. Americans are intimidated by it, you know.”

Agent Reid just nods and sits down on a nearby stool. “I don’t mind. I like hearing you talk.”

“But it’s not as intellectual as you’re used to.”

“Maybe not, but- how should I describe it? You’re like a funfetti cake.”

Reid’s analogy makes me giggle and give him an odd look. “Um, thanks? How so?”

“Because you’re not just one flavor. You bring a sprinkling of all different topics, and none of them are boring or immature. Go ahead, continue.” Reid sits back as if he’s sitting in for a lecture, and I’m the teacher.

“Um… ok. So anyways, between work, school, and all my other hobbies it’s no surprise when I keep telling my mom I haven't gone on a date-”

“Wait, seriously?” Reid interrupts. “You’ve never gone on a date?”

I try to ignore the heat rushing to my cheeks and go turn on the music speaker. “Never got a chance to. Back in high school I was more introverted and read all the time. Now no one wants to be around a boring, mature college student who dresses… like this.” I gesture to my unusual outfit.

“Hm. I’d think you would’ve been able to find at least one decent guy.”

I’m not sure if he’s kidding or just trying to be nice.

“Don’t make me laugh. Even the few guys I’ve talked to see me as a colleague or acquaintance, not even friendship status. I’ve steered clear of all the red flags and bad habits college kids typically get into, and it’s gotten me this far. All I’ve got is some family, my cat, and my brain.”

Reid doesn’t say anything, and a part of me is glad for it while the other half is a nervous wreck. While I don’t want to really get into the details of my miserable social life, at the same time I’m strangely anxious about what the handsome doctor thinks of me.

“It’s the musical season, isn’t it? I can tell you’re a fan.” How does he-? “I’m guessing on account of the Newsies sticker on your water bottle and your outfit that resembles Veronica Sawyer from Heathers.”

A smile grows on my face. “Oh! A profiling genius and a theatre fan! You’ve got quite the brain, Dr. Reid.”

“I actually only recently got interested in it after watching one of Garcia’s plays- oh! You actually remembered!” Reid scratches his head and smiles. “Thanks, that means a lot.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“People don’t always address me by my full title. So what’s on your agenda now?” He seems to rethink and adds: “Not that I’m being nosy!”

His curiosity isn’t uncomfortable for me. If anything it’s nice to have someone take an interest.

“I was going to practice for musical auditions, but since you’re here I’ll just do some homework.”

“Oh I don’t mind! Really! I won’t laugh, promise,” Reid says sincerely.

“No, no. I do my best work alone, as always.”

He frowns. “That’s not a healthy mindset.”

I chuckle darkly. “I’m not exactly the ‘teamwork makes the dreamwork’ kinda gal. I’ve always done best on my own, so I don’t argue it-”

“Attention, attention!” The intercom starts blasting an alarm overhead. “There has been a potential shooter spotted near the edge of campus. All students, staff, and visitors are to head immediately towards a sheltered area. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill!”

Agent Reid immediately goes alert and checks his pistol. “We better get to a more secure location. Come with me!”

He goes for the door, but I don’t see a reason to leave.

“No, you go find your team. I’ll stay here. It’s a hidden spot, anyway.”

But Reid shakes his head with concern and takes my hand. “No, I can’t allow that. If the unsub is here he’ll go after you. You’re his type, Marrian, and I won’t let you get hurt.” 

Wow. I’m sure he’s just doing his job. Still it’s becoming incredibly difficult to ignore the growing affection for the geeky agent. And it doesn't help that normally I’m a very anti-touching person. 

He pulls out a cell phone and dials a number. “Hotch, this is Reid. What’s your location?” After a few moments he says: “Yes, I’m here with the student we interviewed in the theatre lab. We’ll meet you there. Yeah I know, we’ll be careful.” Reid seems to notice my slight reaction to his physical touch and his hold tightens. “I need you to stick close to me, understand?” 

I nod and follow him out. “This is… definitely not what I planned for a regular Friday evening, but as my mom always says I need to stay open-minded. Lead the way, Dr. Reid!”

His stern face lightens by a fraction. “Um, you can call me Spencer if you want.”

Is- Is he trying to flirt? Seriously, I wouldn’t know. Somebody tell me!

“Isn’t that less professional? I thought you FBI guys were all suits and no humor.”

He doesn’t answer and triple-checks the hallway before signaling the all-clear. We quietly make our way to the main office, and the whole time I’m trying to ignore Reid’s hand clutching mine. 

“We'll be able to-”

“Look out!” I push Spencer out of the way just as a bullet flies past my head, but I’m not too lucky with the second one. It buries itself in my left shoulder blade and the sudden force sends me crashing to the cold floor.

“Oh my God!” Reid shouts and kneels down to address my wound.

“Well hello, my pretty,” a deep sinister voice chuckles. A figure in a black hood lurks out from the corner, with a hunting rifle pointed directly at Spencer.

“I’ve gone too far this time, too far to disappear. But I’ve got one more chance, right? That’s right.” He points at me, the gun wedged pointed on his shoulder. “I’ve been watching you, girly. And I like you. Your healthy diet is most delightful, and…” He gets a twisted look with a sinister smile on his face. “Such a pretty face…”

“You leave her alone!” Reid speaks sternly. 

I turn to find him pointing his pistol at the unsub, but the man just laughs.

“My my, Dr. Reid. You’ve grown quite attached to this woman. I’m almost sad to have to kill her and end such a blooming young love.”

Love? I don’t know who this guy thinks he is, but he’s creeping me out! Still not what I planned for a regular Friday evening… 

The unsub starts to creep closer, and before I know it I’m backed against the wall with Spencer at my right.

“Don’t you touch her!” Reid shouts. “Stand back or I will shoot!”

“Oh no you won’t, Dr. Reid!” The unsub turns angry. “You won’t, or else I will skip my evening meal and blow a hole in this girl’s brain right now!”

He’s going to kill me… Eat me… Oh God. But I can’t let him hurt Spencer. His life is worth a thousand times more, and I couldn’t stand to see him get hurt.

The unsub is still focused on Spencer, so while he’s distracted I slowly inch my hand towards my skirt, almost to my concealed pistol-

Bam!

The unsub fires what seems like a warning shot and in the sudden chaos Reid fires his gun too. Reid doesn’t get shot, and instead his own bullet buries itself in the unsub’s calf. He stumbles out of sight around the corner.

“Quick! In here!” Reid pulls me into a nearby classroom and shuts the door. “Are you in pain?”

Yes! Every inch of skin in my shoulder is screaming at me and the adrenaline is starting to wear off, allowing the pain to escalate. But I need Reid to focus on the task at hand.

“I’m fine. I’m fine…” My head starts to feel dizzy and I put a hand to my shoulder, pulling it away to find it covered in blood.

“No you’re not fine. Here-” Spencer takes off his tie and does a makeshift tourniquet near my acromial region. “It won’t last long, but it’s the best I can do.” He kneels down and starts searching through his pockets. “I’m all out of bullets!”

“My… my skirt. Under my skirt…” 

He lifts the fabric up to reveal my pistol. “When did you get that?”

“Since I turned 21, but I’m too dizzy to shoot it. Take it!” Reid removes my pistol from its holster, using careful hands to show modest intentions. “Now go. Go stop him.”

“But if you don’t keep appropriate pressure on it then you could bleed out!”

“Just go! I’ll figure it out. I don’t care if I pass out, you gotta go stop him and end this.”

I’m pretty sure Reid’s now speaking through panic mode. “No you can’t die! I still need to ask you out!” Did I hear that right?

“You- what? I think I’m starting to blank out. You need to what?”

But Reid doesn’t answer. He just rubs a hand through his messy hair in frustration, while all I can do is slowly slip in and out of consciousness. When he’s decided his next move he leans down and kisses my forehead, and if it weren’t such an unusual situation I’d actually have butterflies in my stomach.

“I’ll be right back, Merrian. I promise.”

And just like that he sprints out. I don’t know how long it’s been, but soon I hear gunshots in the hall and all I can do before I pass out is pray that Spencer’s ok…

“She’s lost a lot of blood, but she’ll live.”

“Quiet an injury. She’s lucky you were with her.”

“And where is she going to?”

My mind buzzes to life and I start to become aware of my surroundings, opening my eyes to find myself in a hospital bed. My arm has an IV. More than likely they’ve given me morphine for pain control. But the biggest relief is when I see Reid talking to one of the doctors at the foot of the bed.

“Spencer… you’re ok,” I croak through a groggy voice.

He notices I’m awake and quickly rushes over to give me a gentle hug. I see he has no wounds, another relief.

“God Merrian, I’m so sorry. I was supposed to protect you-” He whispers into my hair.

“No, don’t worry about me. You did all you could, Spencer. Is the unsub taken care of?”

He nods repeatedly. “Yeah. I shot him dead right after I left, but by the time I got back you’d already blacked out-”

“Excuse me sir,” the doctor steps forward. “I’m afraid she has to be transferred now.”

I look up with wide eyes. “Transferred? Where? What do you mean?”

“The bullet nicked one of your main arteries,” the doctor explains in a calm voice. “We don’t have the proper tools or expertise to perform the surgery on your shoulder, so you are being transferred to Grand Rapids.

“Then I’m going with her,” Reid pipes up.

“I’m sorry sir, but unless you are a guardian or next of kin then you cannot accompany the patient-”

“She’s the victim of a BAU unsub. That makes this a government matter so I should be able to find an excuse to go-”

“No you can’t, Reid.”

We all turn and find Agent Hotchner, along with the rest of the BAU team, walking into the room.

“We’ve been called back to Quantico. I’m afraid you need to say your goodbyes now.”

Spencer and I exchange disappointed looks, but I figure good things must come to an end. All this unsub business is enough excitement to last me a long time, even though I am sad to see the handsome agent go.

“I’ll be fine, Spencer.” I give him a small smile. “Go do what you do best.” 

He nods, seeming to debate something in his head. “I- I’m glad I got to meet you, Merrian.”

I chuckle. “I should be the one saying that about you, the great Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Spencer returns my laughter and takes my hand again. “Feel better. I know from personal experience that recovering from a gunshot is no easy task. I’ll come visit as soon as I have free time. And… I’d like to take you out sometime, maybe someplace where you won’t get shot?”

His question is asked as if it’s a simple classroom inquiry, but it’s making my heart jump (unfortunately shown by the heartbeat monitor). I can tell Reid’s nervous just as I am, but I know it’s all part of the dating ritual.

“I’d like that.”

He cocks his head. “What part?”

“The not being shot part is definitely a perk, but I’d like to finally go on my first date. With you.”

Spencer gets excited and I can already see the wheels spinning in his head just as Agent Hotchner calls for Reid to get going.

“I- I’ll see you later, then! Hope you won’t mind me ranting about literature by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?”

I squeeze his hand just as the paramedics start to get me ready to leave. “It’s a date, Spencer.”

Reid’s POV

The ride on the Jet is quiet, and as usual I chose to read alone in a corner. This time I’ve chosen Hallowe'en Party by Agatha Christie, most appropriate for the upcoming holiday in a few weeks.

“Hey loverboy! You gonna join us for a card game?” Morgan smirks from the table. “Or is your head too fuzzy thinking about your new friend?”

“You do know I could still beat you, right?” I ask matter-of-factly.

“Screw cards! I wanna hear all about the boy genius’ new girlfriend!” Garcia giggles.

I just shake my head and turn back to my book, ignoring their gossiping chatter. I won’t let their teasing get to me. Ever since Emily died my mind’s been in a fog, but meeting Merrian seemed to snap me back into reality. Give me something to hope for. All I know is I can’t wait to get time off so I can see her again…