#that one braincell chugging along

[damnyoucully]

One of my favorite moments in TFA is the face Steve makes right before he jumps the bridge in the collapsing factory at Kreischberg. Not sure if he’s going to clear it but… no choice but to try.

He huffs out a preparatory breath before he jumps out of the elevator in CA:TWS, knowing it’ll be unpleasant but that he’ll survive the drop. Same Steve, but he’s had time to take inventory of his capabilities, his reality is more lived in.

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

let me paint a picture for you:

imagine jason on a summer afternoon, a tight tank top sticking to his sweaty, muscular torso. he's doing maintenance on his bike, a bit of soot on his arms and face, and his headphones hung around his neck but you can hear the metal music because it's that loud. he's a bit red from the heat, a light blush on his shoulders and cheeks. he knows his limits, and knows he won't pass out from the heat - but there's no harm in pulling him back inside for a shower to cool him off.

(i had to share, my brain is imploding; i have one braincell and his name is jason todd)

Um, yes and yes. I don't even need to add anything buuut:

His hair is a mess, and sweat is dripping over his shoulders and down his arms. He's nodding along to the music, occasionally humming and stopping to reach for a new tool. (Giving you a great view when he stretches)

He's focused, fingers nimbly working over his bike with clear practice and ease. (The only time he looks more focused is when he's in bed with you, and he's intent on making your eyes go glassy)

You've been bringing him drinks and snacks when you get the chance. But this time, when you watched him chug down the water bottle and saw the drops that ran down his throat, your self-control goes out the window.

He doesn't understand what's come over you, as you drag him towards the shower and insist on helping him out of his sweaty clothes. But he doesn't seem to mind when you get in with him, and he gets to lick the salt and water off your skin.

[monicahar]

not what it seams...

wanderer x gn! reader, oneshot, comfort/hurt, fluff, he's referred as kuni bc wanderer is just blarhghgg, mentions of cheating and affairs, kuni being insecure, mouchie bday special ! !

anyone with two braincells could obviously tell you were up to something.

the rushed less-than gratifying kisses, cautious and hurried steps in nearly everything you do, nervous glances thrown his way when you think he isn't looking—he'd be as dumb as a rock if he couldn't at least pick up on your strange behaviour.

with how you were leaving your shared inn during the dead of the night, thinking you're being slick without his knowledge—he's growing suspicions now.

just what is it?

perhaps, you're doing errands? but why is it at night and why aren't you bringing him along with you like the usual?

are you in any danger and is unable to tell him? he's worried.

is it an affair? he's scared.

he's tempted to follow you whenever he hears rustling of bed sheets next to him during ungodly hours of the moon's turn, but he's afraid of what he'd come to reveal once he tries to pry it himself.

this is awfully out of character for him—considering he never beats around the bush and just always does what is necessary and whatever he feels obliged to.

as much as he doesn't want to admit it, it's highly likely due to the fact that your relationship is on the line—he could lose you, and he does not want that at all.

if you were truly in danger, you would've long asked him for help or at least told him in a more roundabout way should there be some type of factor preventing you from directly saying it to him. you both have multiple ways of letting the other person know one is in danger, so that's simply checked out.

but abandoning that sentiment would leave with you having an affair.

if he's right about you hogging another partner behind his back, then pathetically enough for him and his pride, he wouldn't know what to do.

just by simply imagining you enjoying life with someone else already has him stumped. he shakes his head to remove the disturbing image in his head whilst an uncomfortable feeling lurks inside his chest.

he can't stop pondering about what is really wrong with you, and it's effectively stopping him from getting a single wink of sleep—aside from the factor that you aren't beside him right now trying to warm him up with your bear hugs.

heck, he should just get this over with. like what you've always said—communication is key. he'll just confront you head on. 

if you turn out to be a filthy cheater, then he should be able to drop you easily. he has no use for a partner that doesn't carry respect for him.

...

—right?

"are you cheating on me?"

he finally drops the dreaded question one day during an unsuspecting lunch with you—saying it as if he was plainly discussing the weather as some mere small talk to share.

when you choke on your food as a response—he does not budge, refusing to look at you in the eye as he stares at the untouched meal before him.

is this cowardice? he holds in a small huff at the thought. is he that attached that he still doesn't wish to part with you even under the heavy suspicion that you're hiding someone else behind your back?

he could feel your intense gaze on him when you calm down from your fit of coughs with a haste chug of water, non-verbally asking for an explanation through your questioning stare as to why he uttered such an accusation.

unfortunately for you, his silence merely grew thicker in return.

seeing as he wasn't making move nor had any intention to speak up any more after the initial vocalising of a cheating allegation, you heave a deep sigh.

“...and what makes you say that, kuni?”

your voice came out more calm and collected than the wanderer...anticipated. a pleasant tone coated in saccharine as to somehow relay that you genuinely want to talk this out with him.

he honestly expected a much more violent response—jabbing a finger at him for even thinking of saying such a repulsive claim, slamming a hand on the table as to being defensive when pressed on a matter of being basically called a liar or being extremely defensive—he's expected a much worse reply.

you asked for what made him say that as a response, a much better retort than he expected, but not the one he really wanted.

“just answer the question. i'm not mad at all.”

not mad he says, but why is he clenching his fists underneath the table, almost trembling in the process?

he feels like he could puke. like a boiling pot of water threatening to spill its contents at how much it seethes in flames.

please answer. he begs in the depths of his tempestuous mind.

he's struggling to hold in his erratic emotions right now because he just wants an answer. a proper one that would decide whether he'd leave this table at this instant or not.

something is violently hammering against his chest nonstop as his exasperation grows.

being too preoccupied with trying to keep his composure and not break down right in front of you, he doesn't notice you circling around his seat until you gently wrap your arms around his shoulder, pulling his back to meet your embrace as you place a soothing kiss atop his head.

“no.” one word, and his tense shoulders refuse to move a single inch under your hold.

you euphoniously whisper all of it, only for him to solely hear and no one else. “i'm not cheating on you.”

the wanderer leisurely cranes his neck to look at your face, scouring your expression in bated breaths as he desperately searches for an ounce of a false truth: a lie.

after a nearly dehumanizing moment, relief washes over him like he'd just went under a spring waterfall—cleansing him of all his pessimistic and obstructive thoughts in one instant.

he finds nothing, but sincerity in your pools.

quickly shifting in his seat to face you fully, he gingerly wraps his arms around your waist as he buries his face onto your clothes, his hands gripping the cloth like it's his last lifeline.

you don't bother to hide your shock as you lightly squeal when he tightens his grip on you, feeling his lips quivering against the soft frabric of your shirt.

suddenly feeling a cold wetness form in your shirt, you raise your hand to delicately caress the tresses of his hair and massage his scalp with your fingers as you coo at him quietly.

listening to his soft cries with his face still hidden away from the world against your body, you frown as you try to think of what possibly made him think this way in the first place. your usually snarky and cynical lover crying like this wasn't a minor matter in any way.

wait a moment, is this because of that...?

“were you awake each time i was leaving in the middle of the night?” you ask straightforwardly, without hesitation as if you couldn't believe it if it revealed to be the truth behind all of this.

he sniffles as he somehow buries himself deeper onto your chest, his voice coming out strained from all his crying—“you weren't being particularly discreet, you know? you idiot...”

“ahaha...” you rub the nape of your neck in slight embarrassment. he never moved nor breathed when asleep so there was absolutely no way you could even figure out if he was asleep or not. a huge misstep on your part. “forgive me, it wasn't supposed to look that way.”

“what was it supposed to look like then?” even in this vulnerable window he's warily let you in, he's still being the sarcastic bastard he is, it seems.

you tut as if it wasn't your fault from the start. “you weren't supposed to look in the first place, kuni.”

you immediately yelp in pain when he pinches a small part of your skin through your clothes, earning him a light demeaning pat to his shoulder for his unnecessary engagement of a teasing action.

“what were you even doing...in the middle of the night at that.” he grumbles.

you hum in content when he finally raises his head to meet your eyes, tears still brimming on the ends of his lashes as his inevitably gaze softens at the sight of you looking down at him with a small smile. “i was visiting a tailor. she's helping me make a gift, discreetly as i asked to.”

cradling his face in your palms, you start to rubs circles on his cheeks, feeling the dried streak of the tears he let out for you. you hold in the urge to pinch his puffy cheeks.

“a gift? for wh—” and suddenly, for split moment—the wanderer felt dumb.

“looks like our special birthday boy forgot something, hm?” you couldn't help the smirk that crept up on your face as realization dawns upon him like a brick.

“i've finished the gift just last night, but it doesn't look the best so i was still hesitating whether or not i'd give it to you because you might not like it—”

“give it to me.”

looking down at him, you realize he's since long pulled away from your hold, staring at you with his indigo hues like a child waiting for his toy to be brought to him.

“... don't laugh, okay?”

he immediately raises a brow at that as he rubs his eyes out of its puffiness. “uh, sure. if it's that bad.”

reaching for your bag at your end of the table, you slowly bring out the gift from its confinements, shoving the gift into his arms as the embarrassment slowly eats up all of your confidence from earlier.

a doll, you gave.

a handsewn doll that looks like you to match the little one hidden in his navy kimono sleeves.

“it's...” he starts, thumbing the small details you added in to make it more convincing that it was supposed to look like you.

[e/c] beads as your eyes, some small chipped material of sorts to accommodate your hairstyle, clothes are spot on save for the small tear on its back... it's so...

panic overcomes your senses when a tear starts running down his face yet again, his eyes widened in surprise and fascination as he stared at the mini you sat on his palm.

“w-wait a moment, why are you crying?! my gift wasn't supposed to make you do that!”

“shut up! i'm just crying because it's so ugly!”

whatever the boy filled with derisiveness says, yet he holds the newly gifted doll so closely and snug to his chest, a smile so miniscule gracing upon his lips that he probably doesn't even notice it himself.

but you do.

—and it's more than enough for you to fully discard the blunt insult he threw at your gift just now.

(not what it seams cause get it? reader sewed a gift for him while it's all just a big misunderstanding? hehehehe hahahahaha😐)

once again HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BABY SCARAMOUCHIEEE pop a fart rn if you want to kiss him virtually

[stolenbythegods]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

ROLEPLAYER NAME: Beth, or Semeiya

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she/her

MUSE NAME: For this blog, Ganymede. For my sideblog myth multi: Medusa, Aglaea, Amphitrite, Pasithea, Minthe. For my sideblog BG3 multi: Sabine, Nethala, Mystique. More will probably be added to both multis in time haha.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: IMs or discord, though the latter probably won't be given unless we're also rping on discord, which I am happy to do with any mutuals, or we get close.

EXPERIENCE: 20 years. Which sounds wild to me, but I started very young and lost myself in it from there haha. I have slowed down a bit because of life and mental health, but I'm still chugging along!

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: I'm pretty flexible, but I'll admit that very long replies are harder these days and take a lot out of me, so I usually stick to a few paragraphs. I can do one-liners for short bursts, but it usually ends up turning into longer stuff aha.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: I think my dealbreakers are the same for most people tbh; being disrespectful, being a bigot, general RP dealbreakers etc. I don't tolerate petty drama and vagueposting about others. Refusing to communicate is another. Basically don't be a dick, don't be immature, and don't break basic RP rules. Follow these, and we'll be fine!

PLOTS OR MEMES: Both, but I lean towards memes a bit more. But it can be hard if we've never interacted before, so in that case I highly encourage doing at least some baseline plotting to establish things between our muses. After that though, meme me up baby!

BEST TIME TO WRITE: when the planets align and my two braincells collide? In all seriousness, my schedule is kinda chaotic so I write when I can, and when my mental health allows. I wish I could be more organised, bus alas, I am cursed :')

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: Most of my muses have a little something of me inside of them, but some are more like me than others. For Gany, the desperation to be loved is definitely like me haha. We probably share quite a few traits if I dive deep enough, but I'll save myself the identity crisis lol

Tagged by: @nectaric

Tagging: @neverhangd @bloodedstars @knife-like and anyone else who sees this :3

[definitelynotshouting]

Oooo, I see you started playing MC as well ^.^

My brain has been stuck in the game for a solid 2 months now, I've had so many ideas for building, so it's nice to see you enjoy it too <3

And to be fair, I do use creative mode for some things in my singleplayer world (cuz I wanna skip to the good parts lol). But I think if the potion lab I build in the survival multiplayer I'm in was what I had made in that singleplayer, a sad Grian looking for weakness potions would be delighted to stumble upon it pffttt

I have 2 double chests of finished potions, huge nether wart field, endless water source, 5 brewing stands, a whole double chest of at least 3 of every potion ingredient, pre-prepared awkward potions, 3stacks of bottles, blaze rods for days, you name it and it's there

The only issue is that all weakness potions I have ready are turned into splash potions, cuz I've never really had the desire to chug them myself (besides that one time I tired to get the "have every potion effect on all at once" achievement xdd)

~🌠

Ive been watching mcyt religiously for abt 2 yrs now (prior to that i had ZERO exposure to minecraft at all) and have joked before that its given me fucking minecraft shingles bc i never got my crafting vaccination as a kid. This thing has DESTROYED my braincells its just all minecraft blocks now, im obsessed

Ive also shamelessly used cheats in my first proper singleplayer world-- pretty much just to teleport to coords bc i get lost real easily and an hour of trying to navigate back with F3 is not my idea of a good time 😭😭😭😭 but with this new 1.20 singleplayer my plan is basically play on peaceful until i can get set up with a house and get a bit more practice with movement, then switch it to easy to practice killing mobs, then slowly ramp up the difficulty until i get to hard so i can cure zombie villagers. I watched p much the entirety of Pixlriffs' Survival Guide S2 around January after getting super sick and needed smth to entertain myself with, and now im following along with his S3 bc he is just the guy ever to me :] its taught me a lot abt the mechanics of minecraft which has been REALLY nice for a late learner 💀💀💀💀

YOUR POTION ROOM SOUNDS SO COOL!!!!! Thats so many ingredients,,,, i love your organization system that sounds so nice. Ive found my favorite thing in minecraft is literally inventory management SKDNEKDJD hermits beware i am the anti-chest monster guy<3 but yeah gods can u imagine if Grian had used splash potions 😭😭😭 he wouldve dropped SO FAST, RIP

How do you usually plan your builds??? I got myself a creative flatworld to make stuff in, but ive found that idea i had with taking a screenshot of the area and drawing on it has REALLY helped me put some concrete visuals to the ideas ive had which has been SUPER helpful. I just finished building the silhouette of my future lakehouse the other day (via the Pixlriffs stone method) so now im just messing around with block palettes to see how i wanna incorporate the cherry wood :] im super excited to build it for real in survival!!!!

[penname-artist]

I've got a long rambly pile of additional thoughts to make to this post, so, grab some snackies... :3

I absolutely love the concept of Maru having been a medic on the set for CHoPs. Though it's not even a part of my own headcanon (in part because I'm far too lazy to change it when I already break my own HC boundaries every other Wednesday) I still WILDLY support the idea as though it were fanon. And I've seen it so well portrayed in fics to want to say it's on its way to being such! Like the plane beds thing.

As well, the concept of the three of them being or having once been a thing - whether in terms of all friends, two lovers and a friend, all lovers, or just a queer-platonic hodge-podge of bros sharing braincells - is a really neat and sadly under-explored concept.

Blade and Maru do have *some* at least friendly interactive content sprinkled into fics, but romance is rarely if ever depicted, and Nick and Maru basically never get to share space together in a story (I might be blanking on some fics if any do exist though).

Having all three of them as queer-platonic bordering romantic poly-relationship is one of the most heart-wrenching fluffs ever, too, PLUS if you went the route of Nick dies, Dusty could be a much later on third/fourth addition to the couple. All I'm saying is that there is room for some INTENSE snuggling from all parties.

And the smaller side facets to the trio? Gold mine.

Nick and Maru probably get along like two bantering jokesters, though ones always getting into trouble and the others fixing him (think Dusty and Dottie, & Dusty and Chug...like combined). And of course they bond over their gushy attachments to un-gushy Blade, and they probably intentionally make him the center of their cuddling, just to make him flustered. (and in their um...other activities- *cough* I mean uhh-)

Then obviously there's Blade and Nick, the starcrossed lovebirds that I'm sure Maru saw coming a mile away, and possibly had a fork in the causation of... And they both respect Maru in such a deep way, there's no way they wouldn't be committed to paying him back for what he's been able to do for them, and spoiling him well beyond rotten.

And there's also, of course, Blade and Maru, who are both deep thinkers and hardworking sensible people, but also somewhat loners and bonded over their experiences. They likely bond over Nick together in that he's the heart and soul of their trio, a bright light to bring warmth and joy. They probably debate together how on earth he's still so cheery.

On top of aaaall of that, in my personal collection of Blade and Nick and Maru fic contents, I swear to you, I HAVE a new NSFW, WoC Blade x Maru...THING that will get made..."eventually"! It's 75% finished, and it's a request from a friend I meant to do like a year ago and just didn't.

I was actually supposed to do a whole lot more related to Blade and Nick and Maru's friend-slash-lover triangle, way back in 2021, but the ideas were cut short mid-formulation, due to some unforeseen personal events. "Doctor's In" (that Blade x Maru drabbly smut thing), in particular was typed up in the midst of that timeframe and anything I may have had getting ready to go out with it got either scrapped or pushed wayyy back. And this upcoming story is a continuation of that very piece.

But in total I definitely agree that the ideas for all three or just Blade and Maru in a more-than-friendship light is rare to see. As far as already existing content goes, I could of course immediately point over to ObsidianJade for their Blade x Nick story that got me hooked on it and Blade and Maru's close bond, or my buddy fight4me and their fic featuring Blade and Maru's close-knit companionship, or even the lovely HungryFlowers' NSFW pieces here for Blade x Maru. Anyone else I'm either not thinking of, or thinking of but I dooon't want to explain why I'm not gonna list em

But hey, could be a lot of great fic and art opportunities! Not me making side notes for future projects already... 👀

Heyo, little side note I forgot to add til the end: another thing I've seen at least in a small handful of places is Maru being headcanonned as asexual, or somewhere within the spectrum of asexuality. It's a really neat concept, and I think it'd go really smoothly with these ideas as well!

Considering how popular Blade x Nick in this fandom, it's kinda surprising to me that Blade x Nick x Maru or even Blade x Maru seemingly hasn't ever been considered (at least anywhere I can find).

It's basically near universal fanon (that was formed from the implications of some canon scenes) that Maru was on the set of CHoPs and thus knew Blade and Nick, so it wouldn't even be that hard to justify.

Blade x Nick x Maru has AMAZING potential for angst. Like imagine being Blade or Maru, happily in a relationship with the two people you hold dearest and one of them fucking dies!! It's violent, and sudden, and you could do nothing but watch as he died. Blade, canonically, was the first to the scene and literally watched him die before his eyes. Then there's Maru, a mechanic, meant to be able to save lives, who physically couldn't get there in time, and, because he might've been the first physician on site, very well might've had to be the one to declare Nick's time of death. Imagine the fucking fallout of that and how you'd even cope with not only the death itself, but the fact you and your partner watched your other partner literally die. I can't even begin to imagine how irreversibly that would change the romantic relationship between Blade and Maru.

I love Maru having a platonic relationship with Blade and Nick but like there is SO much interesting stuff that could be done with them as a romantic pairing and I am shocked no one has jumped on it! Not even once!

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Stranger things incorrect quote generator (feat. Max and her Moms, ✨the girls✨, random shit again)

Pt 2.

Max and her moms

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night.

Max: You were flirting with Nancy .

Robin: So what? They're my partner.

Max: You asked them if they were single.

Robin:

Max: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

(well that started good already)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I told Max their ears flush when they lie.

Nancy : Why?

Robin: Look.

Robin: Hey Max! Do you love us?

Max, covering their ears: No.

Nancy :

(This is the most adorable thing I've ever seen🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Ronance adopted Max, it's in the future so they are older]

Robin, pointing a camera at Max: There she are, our sweet baby.

Max, holding a cigarette and a beer: What-?

(🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: We need a distraction.

Max: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Robin, whispering: My time has come

(I love Robin very much)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: You bought a taco?

Max: Yes.

Nancy: From the same truck that hit Robin?!

Max, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.

(Oof)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[+plus the Es]

Nancy: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

El, Erica, Max, and Robin: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

(erica also has them.. Idk if she would do this but also I feel like she would)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Robin: ...Your what?

Nancy: My friends.

El: Are they saying “friends”?

Max: I think they're being sarcastic.

Erica: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Nancy! All of your friends are in this room.

Nancy: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task.I complete tasks.

(I just love Erica saying that and also accurate.. What other friends?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Where's Robin, El, and Max?

Erica: They're playing hide and seek.

Nancy: Where?

Erica: I don't think you get how this game works.

(sassy queen)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Robin: Tubular AF!

El: Mood to the max!

Max, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Erica, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she's a square.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

El: It was Robin.

Max: It was Robin.

Erica: Robin broke it.

Robin:

Robin: ...YOU PROMISED-

(welp- it was great having you Robin)

(also El being the first is funny, she really said "Friends don't lie")

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El, trying to convince Robin to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Max: And loud!

Erica: And grumpy!

Nancy: And oblivious to reality!

Robin:

(big oof, we love her tho ofc)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: What do rainbows mean to you?

Robin: Gay rights.

Max: There's money.

Erica: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood.

Nancy: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

(gay rights 👍)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!

Nancy: First who would you kill?

*Erica points at Robin*

*El points at Robin*

*Max points at Robin*

Robin: * shrugs * I would kill me too.

(well Damn)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[the random shit]

[Eddie in the Upside Down being alive again]

Eddie: My life is a mess.

Venca: Eddie relax, go get a beer.

Eddie: I don’t want a beer.

Venca Who said it was for you?

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Eddie rushes by with an armful of water bottles*

Argyle: What's going on?

Robin: Eddie wouldn't drink water.

Argyle: ...And?

Robin: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle.

Eddie, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

(this trio would have been too powerful)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: *sees Jonathan and Argyle together*

Robin: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Dustin: You mean... you ship them?

(✨jargyle✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: Say no to drugs.

Argyle: Say yes to drugs.

Robin: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

(the accuracy... I feel like it's very accurate)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Dustin.

Steve: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.

Steve: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.

Dustin: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.

Steve: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.

Dustin: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.

Steve: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

(it's them 100%)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: I think I'm falling for you.

Nancy: Then get up.

(Stancy S4/#AntiStancy)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: *sees Nancy and Robin together*

Will: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Mike: You mean... you ship them?

(Will, you have good taste in ships)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Slash gamemode creative.

Mike: Dude, this isn't Min-

Max: *starts levitating*

(and I oop-)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You're violent.

Nancy: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

(short queen)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Mike, fuck off.

Jonathan: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

(omg yes, this is canon ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Dustin: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?

Robin: Mike, probably.

(Oof, Robin would say that tho, after hearing what he said to Will)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Neighbour Bonding]

Eddie: What do I get?

Max: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Eddie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Max: It won't be you.

Eddie: I'll get my coat.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Dustin: You disgust me.

Eddie: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

(I feel like he would do that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

(self aware queen)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Eddie and Argyle in Eddie's trailor smoking some weed and then Dustin appears]

Argyle: How did you even get in here?

Dustin: Eddie's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Dustin's door"!

Eddie: I’m closing the window.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Hey Dustin.

Dustin: *punches Nancy in the stomach*

Nancy: What the fuck?

Dustin: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young....YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!

Nancy: What the fuck are you talking about?

Dustin: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.

Jonathan: See ya! *leaves*

Nancy: I'm not pregnant!

Dustin: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes.

Nancy: I was never pregnant, Dustin!

Dustin: Are... you sure?

Nancy: Yes I'm fucking sure!

Will: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

Dustin: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—

Will: *punches Nancy in the stomach*

Nancy: AW, MOTHERFU--

(I just find it funny... Also that Jonathan was there and left 😂👀 sus)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Elmax(as a ship) + Mike(not as a ship)]

El: Well, remember when Max made a romantic dinner for me?

Mike: El, they microwaved you a pizza.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night.

Mike: You were flirting with Max.

El: So what? They're my partner.

Mike: You asked them if they were single.

El:

Mike: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

(Lesbian/gay solidarity)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Max: Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~

El: Wh- What? NO, YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Mike, recording: This is so cute.

(She tried, she's just too precious 🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Mike: * turning to Max* How tall are you?

(ah yes, frenemies)

Another example:

El: If you had to choose between Mike and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Max: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Mike: Max!

El: 63 cents.

Max: I'll take the money.

Mike: Max!!!

( I love this 😂✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[✨Byler✨]

Karen: You're giving me a sticker?

Joyce: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me- wow!”

Karen: I'm not a preschooler.

Joyce: Fine, I'll take it back

Karen: I earned this, back off!

(a given name was Karen and then I just felt like adding Joyce and here we are)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I don't have any rn but if you want more, you can like or smth so I see that you enjoy them, lots of love ✨❤️✨

Also comment what other characters or with combination you wanna see.

[draftingteacups]

What would happen to NRC if Soni decided to go on strike ?

This.

This is what would happen to NRC when Soni goes on strike.

The day that Soni snaps is one that no one is prepared for because not only is she pissed off from the stress, there's also the Berry Farm and Moomoo Milk business + all the other things that she's planning that give her a decent income. I swear, in another AU of NRC, Soni doesn't have her TA side-hussle and is just a straight-up farmer/Berry Farm/Ranch owner who gets thrown into the school's BS because she happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time or something. idk how that AU would work, but at least we have a name for the farm now: Ramshackle Ranch.

With her partnership with Sam, she doesn't need to worry too heavily about supplies because Sam would give her a fair deal and because of Grim's tuna can eating.

Crowley would have to beg on his hands and knees to get her to even think about getting within a ten-meter distance of Ramshackle.

With George on protection duty and Lukas just out there to vibecheck people if they dare trespass + the other Pokemon with various Status-inflicting Moves + Swanna, it's just a waiting game and mini battles to see who wins out. The Wild Pokemon were told ahead of time of what was to come from the strike and they prepared like the biggest storm was about to hit.

Spoiler alert: Crowley caves in first because everyone's just suffering in the process since they've always relied on Soni to a degree, mostly because of the OB they dealt with and such.

The Braincell Trio (mainly Ace and Deuce) are the ones to set up the meeting because Soni's just that angry and because Heartslabyul is the first dorm to get entangled with Ramshackle (and their products a whole + what happens in Episode 1), they were the ones to help things chug along smoothly. The rest of the Heartslabyul gang helped them, don't worry 👍

Diasomnia and Pomefiore were big runner-ups in the whole thing, given their own shared history with Ramshackle and the Dorm Head that runs it in varying degrees.

Swanna is there in the corner, watching this whole thing go down as well as Croagunk being watchful. Ace and Deuce are there to be the support on Soni's side (Riddle allowed this because they were pretty much honorary Ramshackle Members anyways) with Grim looking peeved by this whole thing too.

[mrpenguinpants]

I am a firm believer that Childe is indeed younger than Keqing and has no form of respect for her regardless.

It’s moreso a form of me establishing that the Keqing is a short adult in her mid to early twenties who has to inevitably deal with the constant neck pain she gets from having to look up at her co-workers just to make eye contact. She curses either herself for it for never growing an inch or curses everyone around her or, well, both. Regardless, she can occassionally be found in her office stomping the floor and feeling like the battle is her against the world LMAO

As a side note, I loved the little headcanons of the boys as children you included! It was a different thing that would’ve never came to mind otherwise. While I’m totally ride or die on the “four men accidentally hire themselves a babysitter and a daily slander machine (she does it out of love)” train, I do appreciate different variations to the idea.

Oh and seeing myself on the anon list makes me feel a bit warm, it feels like I’m being acknowledged as family for crashing this wonderful blog with brainworms lmaooo— on a much serious note, I really appreciate hearing me out whenever I have an idea or two to share.

Sincerely, Keqing harem brainrot anon

(I felt like using a dash was too orthodox, and these are basically my mini love letters to you for being an overwhelming amount of seretonin, so I figured why not give it a little twist)

Minor Spoilers for Character Backgrounds

I wrote some more on this here: Genshin: Royalty AU HCs

---

FUCKING CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB AS I HOLD THIS PRECIOUS ASK IN MY HANDS. I THOUGHT YOU DIED. I WAS SO UPSET. REMEMBER THAT ANON ASK THAT I JUST REPLIED TO WHERE ANON FELT LIKE THEY WERE COMING HOME? THAT. THAT IS HOW I FEEL RN.

Yes. I know anons have lives outside of tumblr. Am I a parent penguin now? Yes. Yes I am. I’m fucking crying, it does feel like I’m seeing my family again.

---

Out of all the “adult” genshin characters, I firmly believe Childe is the youngest. He is just hovering that adult status because of his height. Can I also say how much I love that the “culturally insensitive white boy” idea came from people on twitter getting tired of Chili fanart where Childe calls Zhongli “sensei” even tho the mans Chinese? 

Speaking of short people, and because I will never shut up about this, XIAO IS 5′2. Ty for coming to my ted talk. I can literally astral project and visualize Zhongli being Keqing’s boss or co-worker that’s super respectful - but lowkey a bit slow because he keeps forgetting his wallet and Keqing is too nice to leave him without lunch - but when he’s spitting facts about the ancient art of ink blocks she’s cursing him in her mind. Why is this man so tall?? She can feel the neck muscles in her neck crying out in pain that when she finally relaxes and stares forward rather than upward, she get’s a killer cramp and ends up dying on the floor (I HATE THAT FEELING BTW). She’s out here googling ways to grow taller after puberty and chugs milk cartoons like it’s air. 

This is why I absolutely love sharing ideas with others. There is so much food to be brought to the table so I always try and encourage others to share their ideas. Plus it let’s me get my over-active brainworms out haha. 

I just love the dual personality of younger vs older genshin characters. We got to see a little bit of young Diluc in the manga (pls..I know it’s completed but crumbs. I beg of you) where he was this starry eyed and friendly knight attitude. Actual sweetheart. Your typical childhood boy next door type of vibe that was sweet and polite but was a lot smarter than he looked. He has a pet turtle (or tortoise?) and I find that so cute. I can totally see Diluc being hard working to make his father proud but also slacks hard and watches his turtle awkwardly eat a strawberry most of the time haha. He would both die for his turtle and go to war for it. Honestly, I just love the idea of child Diluc being a bit of a slacker compared to his older self, who is trying to speed run his life.  

As for Kaeya, I’m going to say this now. I fully believe in the art of shy and quiet Kaeya when he was a child. It makes sense in terms of the lore since he was basically shoved into an unknown world and all alone. Poor guy probably has a lot of insecurities and is super standoffish to happy and loud children his age. He might come off as rude but he just doesn’t know how to socially interact. As sad as this may sound, he probably mimics other children as his way of expressing emotions. Since he spent most of his time with Diluc, he probably tried to mimic Diluc’s mannerism to try and fit in but Diluc is smart and caught on. It was actually a really wholesome connection of Diluc trying to help Kaeya express himself rather than copying others. Until well, the incident that separated them. 

Complete side note since I know we’re talking about a modern au but: I know I’m stretching this super thin and this doesn’t hold up in the lore at all but I really like the idea that Kaeya is secretly the Prince of Khaenri’ah and Khaenri’ah is a code word for the Abyss. This is basically me saying I want the Abyss mages and Kaeya to actually get along but due to moving in with Diluc’s family and the world’s view on monsters. He has to talk and play with them in secret. I think it’s kinda cute haha. 

As for Childe, actual angel. Have you seen Teucer? Who is this pure innocent soul and what the FUCK happened to create this Grade A Brat? He got too many vitamin gummies and became a gorilla. I mean, both younger and older Childe would walk an old lady across the street but only older Childe would then try to 1v1 the old lady. I’m actually crippled by the idea that Childe used to be this scrawny kid that decided to bulk up due to deep insecure attitudes towards himself or protection ideas for his younger siblings. Fighting became a need to survive and he hated it at first until he met his Master and found the fun in it because it was his way of having control of a situation. Though of course, while this man has two braincells, he’s still sensible. Childe may be a clown but he’s a good big brother. 

Then there’s Zhongli. In my mind, he was basically like Kaeya. Probably came from royalty as well. He didn’t know how to express himself except his boy was actually hollow. A complete husk of a person that was just doing what he was told to absolute perfection. That was until Guizhong, who I completely headcanon as someone older than Zhongli and acts as a sister figure (fucking fight me), grew concerned for this poor child and tried her best to teach him how to have fun. That there was life outside his studies and duties. While it didn’t work out perfectly and Zhongli is still a bit slow on the uptake, he genuinely is thankful to her and her help. I can see him have a little notebook of all her advice and teachings - heck, drawings of human emotions - that he sometimes has to turn to because he’s lost. (why..do i keep making Zhongli’s part so sad). 

BUT ASIDE FROM MY BRAINWORMS. “Four men accidently hire themselves a babysister and a daily slander machine” IS SUCH A CONCEPT. I want them all to have the worst habits. Childe LICKS the yogurt peel in front of Keqing slowly because he knows it absolutely disgusts her, Zhongli eat’s his sandwiches vertically, Diluc blends coffee with 5 hours energy and doesn’t tell anyone (so everyone has the worst hangover 3 hours later because they all leech off each other), and Kaeya, for the love of god, cover your tit window. It’s too early to get arrested for public indecency. 

---

I’m happy my anon list made you feel fuzzy 💕💕. I’m probably missing a lot of anons on that list because I have the memory of a goldfish so I just listed the ones I could remember. Since you know, you’re some of the few that came back to talk to me which I honestly really appreciate. I know you all have lives outside of this small blog so it does make me really happy seeing you all come back. I’ve mentioned it before but don’t be afraid to chat with me about anything, doesn’t even have to be genshin^^ but I absolutely love the stuff you come up with. 

I never thought of an anon list acting like a family acknowledgement (more as a literal list) but I’m fully on board with that. I went back to my older anon asks to see if I missed anyone (and I probably have since the tumblr search tag is garbage) but I hope they are all still around on this blog and wanna drop by to say hi^^ 

I’m going to go change my anon list to pengu family because holy fuck that’s cute. But with that said, 

Welcome back home keqing harem brainrot anon!

[thecrimsonjaguar]

A Short List of Adventure Time AUs

So I got a google doc of adventure time aus I’ve made over the past two or three years. Here are some of my favorites (and also the ones I came back to and edited)

If you’ve got ideas for an au or ideas to add onto the preexisting ones I’ve got here, please tell me! I’m always up for some au discussion. 

1.) Jermaine AU: Jermaine comes to live at the treehouse after his house blows up. This, unlike canon, happens rather early in season 3. The rest of the series mainly stays the same, except this time there's three brothers instead of two. He's a kinda anxious dude with demon hunting expertise and a painting hobby. He sometimes wonders if he made Dad disappointed by letting all his work explode. Finn and Jake help him out, and he helps them. Despite this, Jermaine is the only one with a brain, and Finn and Jake share exactly one (1) braincell that they trade every so often. Jermaine is tired. (Jermaine is the only one who tries to clean regularly, and he's also the one to keep Neptr, Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant, and a few others company. He's a bit of real wisdom the early series Finn and Jake needed.

2.) Melted Ice AU: Mid season two, IK is hit with something that de-ages him. He turns six. Maybe this mystery de-aging thing blows up the top of the ice mountain, who knows. Maybe he wakes up in the snow, with no memory of how he got there or why. No memory of the last one thousand years. Finn and Jake don't know about his backstory since that happens in season three. Simon is carried by a snowman out of the ice kingdom where he breaks down in the plains. Finn, of course, finds him and is ecstatic to meet another human. Completely missing the fact that this small child is, in fact, the Ice King, Finn declares to help this boy no matter what. That promise soon becomes difficult when people hear about the second human in Ooo, and whatever effect that's keeping him young starts to wear off. (Marceline comes to visit and has a heart attack)

3.) Adventure Falls AU: AT x GF baybee!! Seventeen year old Stanley Pines hops on the Stan O' War and sets sail when he's kicked out. Unfortunately, that boat is nowhere near sea worthy, and all it takes for him to go overboard is one sudden (magical) storm. But, miraculously, Stan doesn't die. He washes up on Ooo, the island of misfits. Where there's daddy issues galore and punching things and getting gold is a legitimate career. He's found on the shore by none other than Finn, who asks if he's okay and if a dungeon adventure would soothe his worries. Stan accepts, because that sounds awesome, and they maybe date. For the next ten years, Stanley is a professional hero. He travels with Finn, he lives in a tower with tons of gold, he's respected, adored, and has made a family for himself. Ooo has a habit of forcing traumatic therapy onto to people, so Stan gets (read: is forced) to work his issues out. And then, somehow, he gets a postcard from his brother.

4.) Young Pups AU: Jake's kids grow up fast- but not that fast. He stays with lady for a few episodes being Dad and when the Pups are old enough, go visit Finn and Jermaine. Also Jermaine is there when the pups are born that always bothered me in canon like what the fuck. This whole AU results in Jake the Dad being a better father than in canon, because he actually has time to make mistakes and learn from them. He sometimes shapeshifts into one of those baby carriers but suited for five kids instead of one. Finn and Jermaine fight for best uncle privileges. Finn is considerably more awesome but Jermaine's got magic junk and juicy stories about Jake. So far the votes are: FINN: Jake Jr, T.V.  JERMAINE: Kim Kil Whan, Charlie. Viola remains undecided.

4.) Evilgreen AU: Evergreen was evil. His idea to make the crown to stop the comet was actually a cover story to take control of all the elements and freeze everything. Of course the same thing happens here as it did in canon, Gunther gets the crown and wishes to *be* evergreen. This is bad. Very bad, so bad in fact, that things get FUnKy. A couple eons later, Simon gets the crown as per canon, and then things start to slide downhill. Since the crown is significantly worse, Simon tries to get rid of it. No amount of magic pull is going to get him to put on the eldritch hat. It teleports back. When things go to shit, the crown tells him he's got two options: He can either live, or he can live unwillingly. This all coalesces in super angst and mild horror as Simon has to fight off evil urges and somehow keep both he and Marceline safe. Things start looking up, though, when he summons Hunson Abadeer.

5.) Nightmare Therapy AU: Simon, now himself post canon, has some funky nightmares. Problem is: he's due for a visit from the cosmic owl due to some mystical bureaucratic bs. If that were to happen, Simon's dreams of Golb and Orgalorg and the world ending and everyone dying and maze would come true, without the veil of metaphoric junk dreams are known for (also due to bureaucratic bs). So, Simon gets a dream therapist. An OC, probably, that would fight off his nightmares when they came and talk to him about his issues.

6.) High School AU: Except they're all still magic and crap. Finn's a jock that's part of the LDnD club(Literally Dungeons and Dragons), Jake's got a job at a pancake place and hosts the Card Wars clubs on Wednesdays, Jermaine's in college and their parents were still detectives/demon hunters. PB is preppy/nerdy girl with weird fucking family and is absolutely a mad scientist. Marceline is still a demon/vamp (vampire biker gang, they all died, deaths pending) and her uncle is Simon. Simon is a history teacher whose ex wife might be an eldritch abomination (the students wonder, but there are no answers)((simon says cryptic things every so often that are the subject of much ridicule, but he's a nice guy)). Ooo High has all of the AT characters in some shape or form. Tree trunks is the lunchlady, Mr Pig is a janitor. Lemongrab is just there. LSP(Q?) is a teacher because that's hilarious. Hunson is dead along with Marceline's mom because fuck hunson. Magic Man is a hobo that snuck onto campus and can't be chased off (his brother is the superintendent, Glob). there's a lot more but that's for a different word doc.

7.) Back to the Future AU: So PB fucks around with time travel, right? For science. She gets sent back in time a thousand years, before the war. Now, she's a pink lady who can shoot jelly beans from her hands, of course needs to lay low. And of course she needs to get home, but she's in a Futurama situation where she only has one type of time machine; the one that can go into the past. Not to mention her own time machine got busted on her way there, so she's double screwed. But, she remembers something. There is an individual (two, actually) that knows about time travel in this time period. She knows him, and he's likely to help her if she plays her card right. She needs to find Simon and get back to her own time, preferably without dooming herself in the process. (perhaps she tries to steal the notes Simon has, and Simon's completely oblivious, except Betty can smell trouble from a mile away and immediately notices some pink woman trying to steal books and she goes ham. Perhaps she goes ham in such a way that Simon doesn't notice. Perhaps this goes on for seven acts.)

8.) Bread and Butter AU: Bella Noche during the episode Betty creates a huge black cube that engulfs all of Wizard City. This box acts as a cage and prevents Wizards from escaping the magic purge. Simon is unable to bring Betty back from the past, and he's fading fast. In a desperate attempt to stop things from escalating, Simon chugs a bottle of anti-magic like a fucking god. He gets through the cube that surrounds Bella Noche and knocks their lights out. He passes out, and when he comes to, the anti-magic he consumed as merged with him. This is because of a simple rule: Magic sticks to magic, anti-magic sticks to anti-magic. And since humans have always had just a little bit of anti -magic present within them, humans and anti-magic go together like bread and butter (badumtish) ((I have actually written a fanfic about this, you can find it here))

9.) Swapped AU: Through various shenanigans Ice King's and Magic Man's powers gets swapped. These shenanigans somehow land them in space as well. This happens before Magic Man's trial. The swapping of their powers results in Simon getting his memory back. It also gives Magic Man the Ice Crown, unfortunately for him though, it seems to hate him. Simon's glad to back, but quickly realizes one issue: He's still crazy. So the pair try to make it back to Ooo. MM needs his powers to swap himself with some other shmuck so he doesn't croak when his trial comes, but Simon's made it clear he isn't giving his powers up without a fight. The pair starts off rocky, neither trusting the other, but space trouble forces them to work together. Simon's a nice enough guy he wouldn't leave someone to die and MM really needs Simon alive so it works out. A weird friendship forms, and they learn get along. Just a couple of crazy space wizards. Then the crown is destroyed. MM is freed from the crown's control, and he's freed from magic. He gets his sanity back, just in time for his trial.

that’s all I’ve got for now!

[viviae]

can you like. tell me a little about dragon age. seeing your posts about it has got me interested in playing but i have little to no clue what it actually is

Boy can I explain nonny <3 This is a bit long so strap in and im sorry

Dragon Age is (currently) a three game series composed of Dragon Age: Origins (PS3, Xbox 360/Xbox One, PC), Dragon Age: II (PS3, Xbox 360/Xbox One, PC), and Dragon Age: Inquisition (PS4, Xbox One, PC) and its really unique because of its selling point that your actions impact the games as you progress. Like if you kill one character in one game they’ll stay dead through the rest of the series which makes you feel lived in the story and that your actions matter. Dragon Age is also an RPG so a roleplaying game kind of along the same lines of DnD where you get to make and play your own character. And yes there are romances and you can be gay.

The First Game of the series is Dragon Age: Origins where you choose from a selection of six unique (technically seven) origins or backgrounds for your character. You can be anywhere from a human noble or a Dalish elf, the unique elven culture in Dragon Age of nomadic clans dedicating to reclaiming their past. But eventually, from the events in your origin, you wind up a member of a secretive and elite order known as the Grey Wardens whose duty is to protect the world from the Blight.

The Blight is this spread of a horrible disease known as the Taint but is characterized by the presence of Darkspawn, a kind of zombie like creature who exists only to destroy the world. Grey Wardens take the heavy duty of protecting the world from the Blight, which have nearly wiped all of humanity multiple times, at all costs. And currently the country of Ferelden is under going a blight and due to events you wind up the only Grey Warden with your companion Alistair to save the world and reunite Ferelden which had fallen under a civil war.

Along Origins you meet many interesting characters. Alistair is your friendly co-warden who has a mysterious parentage that he hides under his happy go lucky attitude. In contrast to Alistair is the witch Morrigan who is your favorite goth swamp queen who would insult you and you thank her. In addition you meet your chaotic bi rogues Zevran and Leliana. Leliana is a nun who is on the run and hiding from a dark past and she is suspiciously good at murder. And Zevran is not at all hiding his aptitude for murder as an Assassin for hire who tried and failed to kill you but who can ignore that charming bastard?

Dragon Age II follows a much smaller story of a Ferelden refuge who had escaped from the Blight to the city of Kirkwall named Hawke. Unlike in origins where you get to pick your background 2 limits you to Hawke but fear not, Hawke is a loveable bastard and you can still customize them. Throughout DA2 you get to experience all the delights Kirkwall has to offer: Demons, crime, corrupt cops, and fighting your way to survive in this city and make a name for yourself.

Where Origins sets the stage for the world DA2 you are the actor in that play - literally the game is divided into 3 acts that take place over a span of 7 years. DA2′s main conflict is the argument of Mages vs Templars, as in DA’s lore while there are those who are born with magic they are forced to live in prisons policed by the Templar order and the church. You explore the more political arguments of; are the Templars right in their fears of magic as Kirkwall is filled to the brim with corrupt mages or do Mages deserve the chance to live and prove themselves freely from their prisons.

Your romancable companions in DA2 are all bisexuals as the true theme of DA2 is: be gay do crime. You have the foils of Anders: the runaway mage who fled from the prisons the mages are housed in and is determined to bring mages to freedom, and Fenris: the runaway escaped slave who curses magic for only inflicting pain and suffering in his life and wants his warnings to be heard about the dangers magic bring. In addition you also have Merrill, your cute but terrifying Dalish mage who would probably murder you with a cute smile and then go oops. And of course, my pirate wife Isabela, who lives a life free from commitment and is dedicated to the idea everyone should have a good time no matter the cost. Also while not romancable Hawke’s bff Varric deserves every ounce of praise he gets as never before has the energy of “two idiots sharing a braincell” ever been so well adapted.

Then finally we reach Inquisition. After the events of DA2 it triggers a full on war between the Mages and Templars that is destroying the land and causing severe damage that neither side can handle anymore. Desperate for an end to the conflict the Divine (err... fantasy pope) calls for a meeting on both sides... only for the entire thing to literally explode. Killing everyone present and causing a hole in the sky which now means demons are raining like cats and dogs you are the only one to survive. In Inquisition you can once again return to pick between unique backgrounds like in Origins but you don’t get to play through those backgrounds sadly.

You now possess something on your left hand which gives you the ability to patch up the hole in the sky that is pissing demons and due to being the only survivor everyone is incredibly confused about you. Eventually the Inquisition is formed around you, the character they are calling the Herald of Andraste (Andraste is fantasy Jesus) due to your ability to seal the holes. The mystery unfolds as over the course of the game you learn what caused the explosion, how you are connected, and what exactly the mark on your hand is.

DAI has the largest numbers of romance options so I’m gonna give a quick bullet point list for them all

Iron Bull (Pansexual, All Races): A Qunari (think Tiefling but big and beefy) mercenary who is far more clever than he lets on, as well as being the rope top dom of your dreams. Literally! Bull’s romance is a really healthy bdsm relationship if you are interested its very well done

Josephine (Bisexual, All Races): Your loveable ambassador and advisor for the inquisition. She is a workaholic noble who is a tried and true classic romance. Sweep her off her feet and duel for her hand all while navigating the nobility

Dorian (Gay, All Races): The flamboyant pariah rock star mage, he demands attention whenever he walks into the room. Although he wants to be all talk and no emotions make no mistake he is making puppy eyes at you the entire time and gets deeply offended if you say he is. Also not going to lie Dorian is the best piece of gay male rep in gaming history.

Cassandra (Male-only, all Races): Your stern warrior wife who is all serious no funny business... expect she is a bleeding heart romantic who reads horrible smut for fun. You wish to COURT HER?? I mean... if you want 👉👈 she won’t say no...

Blackwall (Female-only, All Races): Your weird dilf who wants desperately to prove himself every step of the way and help people. He is a constable for the Grey Wardens, but all the details on him seem murky... Ah well I’m sure its nothing, the Grey Wardens are a secretive order after all.

Sera (Lesbian, All Races): My wild child, monster chugging, beer guzzling, arrow shooting lesbian. Sera is here for a fun time and not a serious one, she’ll always make sure to keep you humble and ensure you aren’t getting to big for your breeches. 

Cullen (Female-Only, Human and Elf only): Cullen’s the Inquisition’s commander who oohh boy is steeped in a lot of trauma. Cullen’s actually a character you get to know through out the series and see just all the horrible nonsense he’s been through. But he is your tragic self loathing... he isn’t princely but he is your adorkable charming

Solas (Female-Only, Elf Only): The humble apostate who joins the Inquisition out of curiosity of the breech, he is an expert on what the hell is going on with that hole in the sky. However, he holds a wisdom that goes far deeper than your typical apostate. Smooth talking and refined he carries a heavy cloud over him.

I left out a lot and all the nonsense with books and what have you but this is the easiest overview of the series I can offer. It’s main selling points is the deep story and characters throughout the games. And of course who doesn’t love the ability to make and roleplay your own character as a bonus? The games are bit of a flawed gem and Origins in my ugly child but they are truly a delight if you are interested

[gamerwoo]

Pentagon headcanons: Pentagon as Disney Characters’ Kids

a/n: you can thank my cousin forcing me to listen to the descendants soundtrack for this. may or may not do oneshots for these at some point so uh,,,,,,we’ll see

-

Hui, son of Dr. Facilier

while hui never wanted to take on ‘the family business’, he feared his father so he did it anyway

and now he has debts that he has to pay

but he really does want to be a good person and he tries to avoid doing bad things as much as he can

he tried going to jinho to see if he could help lighten his problem a little bit, and that’s how they initially became friends

he doesn’t come across as creepy like his dad, but rather tries to read the person he’s trying to scam

so sometimes he uses his cuteness to his advantage, sometimes his sexiness

he does his best to target bad people to scam rather than just anybody off the street

he still can’t help but feel somewhat guilty no matter what though

-

Jinho, son of Hades

like his dad, he’s sarcastic and short-tempered

but jinho knows how to mask his anger pretty well

and then he’ll get his revenge later

he’s not really the greatest at making friends so he just kind of hangs out with hui and yuto

hongseok gives him the benefit of the doubt too

he really can be a good person but when your dad is hades,,,,,

despite how much alike they are, jinho and his dad don’t get along very well, so jinho often spends his time away from the underworld

-

Hongseok, son of Gaston and Belle 

you read that right kids, he’s the son of gaston and belle

not saying she had an affair but might be implying it

he’s basically got the bodystrength and cockiness of his dad, but the kindness and braincells of his mom

no one's slick as hongseok no one's quick as hongseok no one's neck's as incredibly thick as hongseok’s 

he’s basically gaston but he’s not an asshole and he drinks his respect women juice

he feels really bad for his dad so he still talks to him but he wants him to change his ways and actively tries to get him to do so

loves to play with the kids in town and will often buy them snacks and stuff from the stands

there’s a lot of debate in the kingdom as to whether he’s even a prince but he still has girls lining up to marry him lmao

-

Hyojong, son of the Mad Hatter

nobody is really sure why hyojong is the way he is

but really who was sure why his dad is the way he is either

likes to do literally whatever he wants and does not give a shit what anybody thinks

which is why he doesn’t have many friends

even hui doesn’t try to mess with him

his only friend is basically wooseok because everyone else either thinks he’s crazy or just thinks he’s obnoxious

but he’s actually a really sweet person, but nobody actually gets to know him except those curious enough to find out

but he does still pull really dumb pranks on literally anyone

he’ll even go for jinho if he’s around

he’s here for a good time not a long time ok

-

Shinwon, son of Genie

uses his power to do whatever he wants in possibly the dumbest ways possible

he’ll literally just turn into a toaster and pop some toast out of himself like he just does things that doesn’t make sense

but he thinks it’s funny and entertaining so whatever

despite having his freedom, the keeper of his lamp is hyunggu because his mom wanted to study it and shinwon was fine with it

he doesn’t technically have to live in his lamp anymore but he just prefers it

“you should see my gaming setup in there”

he’s friends with pretty much everyone

the only exception is yuto just because his dad is wary of him

-

Changgu, son of Hercules and Megara

obviously hercules is known for being yknow a god

but he gave that up to be with meg and thus changgu was born

an absolute sweetheart who just wants to help people

wants to be just like his dad so he works out a fuck ton

tbh,,,,,,,,really wants to be a god because his dad was so he feels like he’s kind of in his shadow

people will be like “wow changgy is just like his dad BUT he’s not a god”

thinks he can’t become one so he basically tries to be one just without yknow the magic and immortality and stuff

but he lives in a fairytale works so i mean cmon anything is possible

wink wink

-

Yanan, son of Cinderella and Prince Charming

the Perfect Son TM

well, in front of people at least

his parents are super iconic obviously but he’s kind of sick of everyone’s expectations of him tbh

he looks like such a sweet beautiful prince and he is but god he kinda wishes he could just not be a prince for a little while

everyone expects him to be as fantastic as his parents and he hates it

but he won’t voice it directly he’ll just be lowkey passive aggressive lmao

he’s not always like that tho he’s still a polite boi

hates going on dates with suitresses 

at first it was because he was really shy but now it’s just because he finds them all to be kind of the same

despite his feelings toward everyone’s expectations, he does want to be king and he wants to be good at it

but he wants to make his own name for himself

-

Yuto, son of Jafar

other than his powers, he’s nothing like his dad lmao

okay well other than the powers and the animal sidekick

his best friend is a fennec fox named adi who can’t talk like iago could but she’s much less sassy anyway

well, usually

everyone in town assumes he’s mean and scary because he looks pretty intimidating but he’s literally the sweetest and kindest person ever

he tries to give things to the poor kids but nobody will take anything from him

he has a staff very similar to his father’s which is how he uses most of his magic, so he basically hardly uses the thing lmao

jafar expects his son to basically fuck over aladdin and jasmine’s kid since he failed

and despite being forced into this giant scheme, yuto wants nothing to do with it

but he fears his dad way too much to tell him no

-

Hyunggu, son of Honey Lemon

The Sweetest Boy TM

considering who his mother is, you know he chugs his respect women juice

the biggest smarty pants but he’s not a showoff about it

he’s not like that one annoying kid in class who answers all the questions, he just sometimes will randomly spit out lil facts and stuff

he’s exactly like his mom personality-wise

super sweet, very outgoing, loves learning new things and making new friends

manages to see the good in everybody

one of the only people who are nice to the villains (other than hongseok) even though his mom is still lowkey kind of wary of them

but she still always says “their kids are not them, so we can’t assume”

honestly thinks his mom is the coolest person on the planet

close second is baymax lmao

honestly if baymax were a human it would be hyunggu just like,,,,,,less puffy lmao

-

Wooseok, son of Alice

super duper curious about everything

he’s a little tiny bit strange but nothing close to hyojong

always has very vivid dreams and tbh he can’t ever remember if they’re dreams or old memories

typically pretty quiet but sometimes he just,,,,,,,,gets very loud and strange

usually brought out when he’s with hyojong

sometimes he hangs out with hongseok just because belle used to babysit him and read him all kinds of stories

so wooseok is more friends with hongseok’s mom than hongseok lmao

he hasn’t really done anything bad but the town is still kinda wary about him

but they’re nice to his face they just talk about him behind his back

he’s usually too lost in his own little world to notice tho

[ladyanput]

Seeing Red Ch.1

So, here's the long mentioned Seeing Red. The story takes place parallel to Seeing Green, just all of the junk with Eva you've missed. And it's rated explicit. Enjoy.

---

Evangeline sat on her hotel bed, her head in his hands as she felt her head throb hard. Today had been far too eventful for her liking, and she had nearly lost Marinette to that stupid Two Face villian. Eva had never been more terrified than seeing that gun pressed to Marinette's head, the trigger just inches from being pulled. It was only their second day in Gotham and they were already running into trouble.

"-And so I'm heading down."

Eva blinked and looked up, staring at Caline Bustier, who stood before her in a lovely little black dress and kitty heels. 

"What?" Eva croaked out, her eyes feeling heavy in her skull. She just wanted to sleep, to forget about today. 

"I said that the students invited me down for dinner, so I'm heading down." Caline repeated patiently, smiling at the TA as she grabbed her purse. "I'll be back up in a few hours." 

They had invited Caline, but not Evangeline. They never did, she was pretty sure the kids hated her, ever since she supported Marinette on her first day at that school. Well, except Adrien, he was a sweet boy, though a bit clueless on how the real world should work. But Eva did find herself pitying the boy… 

"Have fun." She spoke, watching her mentor leave, before standing. Perhaps she should go check on Marinette, lord only knows that Caline hadn't checked on the girl after her near death experience, thinking that she was 'strong and independent, fully capable of handling herself'. 

When she had first said that to Eva, she had wanted to spit on the French woman. But, of course, she had withheld, not wanting another lecture of keeping her temper in check while in Paris.

Once Caline was gone, Eva heard a soft tapping noise. Her brows drew together as she glanced around the room, trying to locate the noise, before drawing close to the window. Just behind that curtain, that was where the tapping noise was coming from.

Could it be a tree branch? No, she was on one of the higher floors. And it couldn't be a bird, it had a rhythm to it. Her body tensing up, prepared to bolt if she had to, she pulled open the curtains.

Only to see a man suspended in midair just outside her window. It took everything in Eva not to scream as she scrambled back from the window. It took her a few minutes to realize it was Red Hood that was dangling outside. Giving him a withering glare, Eva stormed up to the window and shoved it open.

"Are you trying to be a fucking stalker and give me a heart attack?" She snapped as Red Hood took the moment to slid into the room.

"No, I thought I'd drop by and see if you were okay. You did a gutsy move today." Red Hood crossed his arms, glancing around the room. "Small space."

"Yeah, well, the school couldn't exactly afford high-end suites." Eva responded dryly as she watched the vigilante carefully. "Not to be rude, but this could be considered creepy on so many levels; find a woman's hotel room and sneaking in through her window."

"Well I assure you, I'm not trying to be creepy." Red Hood shrugged, then crossed his arms. Eva couldn't help but notice the muscles in those arms, then found herself blushing when she remembered how it had felt being pinned under him at the mall earlier.

God, she really needed to get laid.

"Well you're doing a terrible job at it. Listen, is there something you need, Mr. Hood?" Eva eyed him once again, then promptly turned back to the vanity, taking her hair out of its bun carefully. "Because I've had a very long day and I'd like some sleep."

"I wanted to take you out for an evening stroll." He shrugged, then reached out and took her hand, giving a dramatic now. "A reward for your balls of steel today."

Eva's brows rose, as she weighed her options. On one hand, he could maybe kidnap her or plan to sell her into some sort of smuggling ring, but on the other hand Marinette told everyone she wanted to be left alone tonight, so Eva's only company would be Caline when she gets back. Yeah, the kidnapping was a preferable thing to choose.

"What would be on the agenda?" Eva crossed her arms, mimicking his stance as she felt herself smirk. "Gonna make me watch you beat up a bunch of baddies, hoping I'll get wet simply from the testosterone radiating off of you?"

The choking sound he made was beyond satisfying, a chuckle escaping her before she could stop it. Red Hood straightened and went to the window, pushing it open once again.

"Listen, I just thought you'd like a bit of fun before you head back to boring ol Paris, okay? So you wanna come or not?" He held out a hand to her. After a moment's hesitation, Eva reached out and took his hand.

---

Jason had to admit, he wasn't entirely sure why he went after his woman. Maybe it was that 'no bullshit' attitude she seemed to have when he confronted her back at the mall. Maybe he was simply being a hot blooded male and her ass had been on his mind a lot today. Or that he wondered if she had a pretty smile. Ah, the mysteries of life.

Red Hood wrapped an arm around Eva’s waist, her wrapping her arms around his neck in return. He quickly landed near the more questionable parts of Gotham, where he usually dwelled. He set her down on a ledge of one of those multiple stories with the weird gargoyles on them. He motioned for her to wait, before he jumped down into the alley. 

Eva frowned and brushed some snow off of the roof and took a seat next to one of the gargoyles closest to the building, pulling her knees to her chest. She had to be insane to come here, but the sight of the lit up Gotham was a pretty one. She was so caught up in the sight, she barely noticed when Red Hood landed back on the roof and handed her one of the bottles of beer he was holding. 

“Thanks stud.” Eva shot him a dry smile before cracking open the beer and taking a swig. She watched as he sat on the other side of the gargoyle, hiding most of his body, then listened as he cracked open his beer and took a swig. “It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like this.”

“What? Have a beer?” Jason’s brows shot up, but a smirk played at his lips. He stared down at the brown bottle in his hand and chuckled to himself. “You never just sit and have a beer?”

“Not really. I try not to drink often, I don’t wanna fall into the habits my father did.” She muttered, glaring down at the bottle, but took another swig and leaned back against the cold, damp stone of the building. “But what I meant was I don’t really get to relax like this. I always have to be this high strung bitch because the supposed teacher of my class is shit at her job.”

“You wanna talk about it? I mean, you ran in after one of those students today and nearly got shot, you looked like you could have used some relaxing or ranting. Shit, maybe I should have taken you somewhere to beat the shit out of someone, that always makes me feel better when I’m pissed off.”

There was a heavy silence in the air before he heard her let out a defeated sigh.

“You know the French class that won that big contest Bruce Wayne hosted a few months ago? I’m the TA for that class, but I wish to God that I could be their teacher because the one they have doesn’t do jack shit. She actually has the nerve to tell everyone to get along, she doesn’t reprimand bullies, and she knows this bitch of a brat Lila is lying, but she is convinced that it’s some disease that causes her to lie. It’s a disease alright, it’s called being a fucking psychopath! She’s accused me of being a pedophile before!”  Eva threw her hands up in the air, feeling her anger rise. Every part of her was suddenly telling her to shove it down, to stomp on it before those flames could blaze, but she let herself get angry, truly angry. She wasn’t in Paris, Hawkmoth couldn't reach her here. “She causes so many fucking akumas, but no one wants her to get akumatized, but there will always be akumas, there’s never not a fucking akuma in Paris! But hey, you think they'd put that in the brochure or something so that a young Canadian teacher who wishes to strengthen her French by going to France, the girl would not choose Paris, but noooo, that’d be bad for tourism, not the literal fucking supervillian that has made it so that Parisians can’t cope with their anger anymore because they’ve been groomed to never be angry ever!”

Jason closed his eyes and listened to this woman rant about stuff that had probably been on her chest for a long time. He smiled when he heard her chug her beer, then sighed. He began to take a swig of his own beer.

“I think maybe I just need a good, rough fuck. Maybe then I’d feel better.”

Her words nearly made him spit out his beer, but he forced himself to swallow. 

“Why would you want that?” He asked after coughing for a minute, setting down his beer. He felt his cheeks heat up as his mind wandered to less than savoury places.

“Because then maybe I’d unwind a bit. I’m always so worried or stressed lately, especially with Marinette almost getting akumatized last month thanks to that class of hers…”

He watched as she walked towards the edge of the ledge, setting a hand on a snow covered gargoyle. She could have looked back, could have seen his face, but she didn’t. Jason smiled at that and put his helmet back on. Slowly,  he made his way up beside her, setting a hand on her shoulder.

“Why did you run after that girl today? You know that was pretty reckless.” He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Because I care about her. Not too many are caring about her right now and every part of my body is telling me to be there for this girl, to be… To be a part of her team. Her entire class excludes her, she’s this social outcast, save for the rest of the school who aren’t sharing one fucking braincell.” Eva sighed and turned, allowing Jason to stare deep into those vibrant purple eyes of hers. “I’m sorry, I went over all of my issues, but I didn’t let you talk once. That wasn’t fair.”

“I have brothers I can vent to, don’t worry about it. Besides, hearing you talk is kinda nice.” He shrugged, then blinked when there was a faint darkening to her eyes. 

“Tell me, Mr. Red Hood…” Eva smiled and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. She could feel the warmth radiating off of his body and it made her shiver in delight. “Why would you bring lil ol me to a roof and get me some alcohol? Hoping to get lucky with a foreign girl?” 

Her smile widened as she listened to him sputter, taking a step back, but grabbing the lapels of his jacket and tugging him along with her.

“I have a proposition for you. I want a week of fun, no strings, kinky as we want sex. I know you don’t know me, and I sure as hell don’t know you… But, what do you say?” At his silence, she let out a chuckle and leaned closer. “Unless you don’t think you can handle it.”

He was silent for the longest time. So long that Eva’s alcohol buzzed brain began to panic. Wait, what if he was ace or gay? Or was already in a relationship? He didn’t know her, why the fuck would he-

“You really sure you want this?” Red Hood leaned close, grabbing her wrists and giving them a light squeeze. “I’m not some gentle giant.”

“Oh, I certainly hope you aren’t.” Eva let out a lustful purr before she could stop herself. 

“... Tomorrow night, I’ll be there around six thirty, got it? I’m taking you somewhere and we can work all of these pent up emotions out of you.” He hissed at her softly, making her tremble. “No excuses.”

“No excuses.” She agreed and grinned.

He took her back to the hotel, giving her a playful bow before he went back out into Gotham, disappearing into the night. Eva smiled as she kept the window open, watching him go.

“Evangeline! What are you doing with the window open, it’s freezing!” Calina snapped as soon as she stepped into the room, scowling at the TA. Eva didn’t respond as she shut the window, the dopey smile still on her face.

Taglist: @chocolate1721 @the-navistar-carol

[himboskywalker]

9 and 13?

9-This one was really difficult to answer because there are honestly so few tropes I don’t like and if I don’t particularly care for something I simply don’t think of it and don’t put much thought into it beyond that.But the biggest trope I can think of that I have no interest in writing is probably genderbending but literally typing that out makes me want to go write something to prove myself wrong.I think I should say,rather than I don’t like genderbending in general,because I’m not against the concept,is that I’ve never personally come across a genderbending fic I enjoyed or that really resonated with me.*sigh* But that just means I should try it myself and see if I can come up with something I don’t hate lol

13-It’s different for every person but I don’t really get writer’s block so much as I get burnt out or my creative energy runs low after I’ve burnt the candle on both ends for a while.I typically write a little every day,even if it’s a line or two,that’s a habit I got into while in college during all my creative writing classes.It’s just like working out,the more you do it,the more in the habit and the easier it gets.But usually after I’ve worked on a big chapter or a longer fic and really put my nose to the grindstone I’ll find that I’m simply not in the mood to write for a few days afterwards,not even a line or two.When that’s the case I simply give myself the time off and don’t even touch my laptop.Usually in a day or two I get that itch again and just because my brain is difficult,the busier I am with other stuff,the stronger my urge to write becomes.If I hit a hard part in my story that I’m having a difficult time navigating through,perhaps a scene I’m unhappy with or a chapter I feel a bit aimless in,I usually switch over to another project to at leasy stir up the creative braincells and put words on the page.Once I’m in the zone and really chugging along I can usually switch back and find myself more inspired or with more braincells firing to navigate myself through the corner I’ve put myself in.

[ashdoesfandomarchieved]

Valentines Day shenanigans with the ship of your choice? Or maybe board game/poker night with the main four?

(Direct sequel of midnight revelations)

It starts like this:

Mariner is teaching Tendi poker. Or well, Mariner is teaching Tendi her version of poker which involves no pants—for some reason—, various pointy objects that Sam is keeping his distance from and an abundance of multi-language profanity that is rather impressive for two women outside of the linguistics department.

Really though, Sam is impressed

Tendi, who has absolutely no poker face, is somehow winning and Mariner is somewhere between proud mom friend™ and shoving her throwing stars at the first person who pokes fun at her losing streak. Somewhere in all of this, Mariner runs out of credits and contraband, so with a sigh and a characteristic half-smirk, she tosses her last chip on the table.

“I’m going all in.”

“Your all in would be scarier if it literally wasn’t your last credit,” Sam remarks sarcastically from where he’s nursing a beer.

Mariner flips him the bird. “Whaddya you got for me, D’Vana?”

Tendi, trying to hold back her shit-eating grin and failing—again no poker face—shoves her huge pile of chips into the center of the table.

“Oh, I’m all in, baby.”

“Good,” Mariner grins back.

“Good,” Tendi replies, crossing her arms.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“I’m glad you went all in.”

“So am I.”

“Please stop flirting and finish the game,” Sam mutters, rolling his eyes.

Mariner doesn’t flip him the bird this time but gives him a side-eye that would have been its usual level of pee-your-pants-terrifying if not for the light blush that dusts her cheeks.

Tendi giggles. “Wanna raise the stakes?”

“Have you met me?”

“That’s fair,” both Tendi and Sam say in the same voice. Mariner rolls her eyes but can’t suppress her smug grin.

“Loser has to ask out the next person who enters the room,” Tendi says, dramatically steepling her hands in front of her face.

Mariner snorts. Loudly. “What are we, fucking twelve?”

“You got a better idea?” Tendi taunts.

“Actually,” Mariner lets a smirk crawl across her face. “As long as we’re going with sleepover levels of dares…loser has to get the next person who walks through that door to date them for three weeks without cracking.”

Tendi cackles, throwing down her cards.

“Full house,” Sam absentmindedly notes. “Not bad, Tendi.”

“Yeah, not bad,” Mariner says, revealing her hand to be royal fucking flush. “Enjoy that date, D’Vana.”

Sam chokes on his drink, while Tendi groans. Mariner laughs psychotically. “Work on that poker face, baby girl. You’ll get it eventually.”

“Ugh, you were just letting me win.”

“Maybe,” Mariner grins innocently. Tendi scowls at her. “Oh, come on,” she laughs. “Whoever comes through that door next can’t be that bad.”

This was the exact moment that Sam realizes that the universe has a sense of humor, because Brad fucking Boimler walks through the door.

Tendi turns a little blue around the cheeks—the Orion equivalent to blushing, Sam guesses—and smiles at him, waving.

“Fuck,” Mariner hisses. “Abort mission!”

Sam and Tendi frown at her. “What?”

“D’Vana, you cannot date Boimler,” Mariner whispers furiously.

“That was the deal!” Tendi hisses back, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Babe I love you, but you can’t fuck with him like that.”

“And it’s okay to fuck with other people?”

“Yes!”

Sam slaps a hand to his face. “You fuck with Boimler every day of the week, Mariner.”

“That’s different!”

“How?” Tendi demands.

Mariner—the woman who had been promoted and demoted so many times that her file was longer than a goddamn Britannica, jumped head first into anything that remotely whispered of danger, fought with the Captain daily, snarked at superior officers, gave zero fucks about Starfleet protocol, and had probably, at some point, flipped off the devil—is rendered completely speechless.

Sam begins to rapidly connect some dots.

“It’s only for three weeks,” Tendi continues. “And Brad’s kinda cute, in like, an intense I have crippling anxiety way.”

“Brad?” Mariner repeats, looking horrified. “You call him Brad?”

“Yes?” Boimler says, coming up behind her. Mariner lets out an uncharacteristic shriek and jumps about a foot in the air.

“Dude what the fuck.”

Boimler looks very very confused. “What?”

“What?” Mariner repeats loudly, eyes widening.

“Brad, wanna go out?” Tendi chirps, smiling innocently at him.

Aw, and now Sam has two adorable friends who are blushing, well, adorably at each other and one friend who is having a complete mental breakdown in the background.

“What, really? I would love to—why aren’t you guys wearing any pants?” Boimler asks, exasperated.  

Tendi lets out a snicker. “Mariner.”

Boimler gives Mariner an unimpressed look. Mariner tries to glare back, but it’s weak for her standards.

“I actually just finished my shift,” he says, turning back to Tendi. “Do you want to hang out?”

While Tendi cheers enthusiastically, Sam discreetly eyes his other friend. Mariner is kind of hyperventilating in the background, hands twitching toward the half-filled bottle of vodka she and Tendi had been chugging earlier. Sam carefully inches it away, unsure if she’s going to chug the rest of it or attack someone with it.

She makes a wounded noise at Tendi, who grabs Boimler by the arm and drags him out of the room, unreservedly talking a mile a minute about something that Sam’s already lost track of.

“What the fuck just happened.”

“I think Tendi asked Boimler on a date,” Sam replies, calmly. Mariner whips her head around and stares at him. The look behind her eyes is deranged.

“We have to break them up.”

Sun, moon and stars, the next three weeks were going to be a Mariner sized nightmare.

“I don’t get it, she’s completely out of his league—”

“Not true.”

“—they have nothing in common—”

“Sometimes opposites attract.”

“—and she’s just stringing him along! She’s going to dump him in two weeks!”

Sam sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. They were about a week into Mariner’s dare and he already was ready to throw Mariner, Tendi and Boimler—poor, clueless Boimler—out of an airlock. Mariner had already tried to break the two up somewhere around two dozen times and had only succeeded in bringing them closer together.

This of course made Mariner even more determined to sabotage her friends.

“It’s not the end of the world, Mariner.”

“Of course, it is!” she hisses at him. “They break up and then I have to deal with Boimler being sad forever while also not shit-talking my best friend and not letting him know that I was the person who set them up!”

“Or they have an amicable break up and go back to being friends. Dude, they haven’t even progressed past basic hand holding. I don’t think it’s going to be a huge heart wrenching dumping.”

Boimler and Tendi enter the room, holding hands. “I feel like you’re the only one who understands me, sometimes,” Boimler says.

Mariner’s eye twitches.

“What should I get Brad for Valentines Day?” Tendi asks five days later, apropos to nothing. Mariner sits up so fast that she hits her head on the top of her bunk.

“WHAT.”

Tendi frowns over at her, looking up from her data padd. “Valentines Day? It’s a Terra Prime holiday that humans generally celebrate yearly around the Terra season of—”

“I KNOW WHAT VALENTINES DAY IS.”

Sam winces, along with the few unfortunate ensigns who happen to be in the cabin, at the volume. “You and Boimler are celebrating Valentines Day?” he weakly asks.

Tendi grins, her tongue sticking out between her teeth adorably. “He told me about it last night and asked if we could exchange gifts!”

There’s a dull thunk as Mariner repeatedly hits her head against the wall.

“Do we need to talk about this?” Sam asks, watching Mariner chug half her weight in alcohol at the bar.

“My liver, my rules.”

“Not your alcoholic diet,” Sam sighs, taking a seat and signaling to the barman. “Although I would lay off the tequila if you want to be functional tomorrow morning.”

Mariner scowls and raises the bottle to her lips again.

“I’m talking about your feelings for Boimler.”

Mariner chokes. “My fucking what.”

Sam rolls his eyes. He had hoped—for about a millisecond—that when Tendi had joined their group that someone else would finally, perhaps, have some braincells to go around, but no, it seems that Sam Rutherford is the only rational fucking person in their dysfunctional foursome.

“Don’t be the idiot you pretend to be,” he replies, calmly taking a sip of his own drink.

Mariner narrows her eyes at him. “I don’t have feelings for—”

“I’m not an idiot either, Mariner.”

“Look,” she snaps, “I’m vaguely attracted to almost everyone, it’s just who I am. I do not have feelings for Boimler, I’m just aware that he’s. Aesthetically pleasing and nice to be around.”

“Then stop acting like a crazy person whenever he tries to date anyone,” Sam snaps back. “If you’re not interested, then you need to back off.”

Mariner is quiet for a long moment. “Do you think he and D’Vana—”

“I think they enjoy each other’s company and that they’re both kind of lonely,” Sam replies, before she can finish. “If you want to know more, talk to Tendi.”

His friend nods, soberly. Sam feels kind of bad for snapping at her, but also knows that she appreciates his honesty.

“There’s worse things then falling for Boimler,” he says, nudging her encouragingly. “Even if he is a complete spaz.”

This coaxes a weak grin out of her. “He is so fucking awkward.”

“You should tell him.”

“That he’s awkward? I have, he got all fussed up and started—”

“That you like him,” Sam specifies, grinning.

Mariner, seemingly forgetting that she had just been denying her crush on their friend, protests, “He’s dating Tendi, dumbass, I’m not going to—”

“Hey, trust me on this one,” Sam says. “Just follow your instincts.”

“My instincts are telling me to desert him on an alien planet before I become too attached.”

“Follow my instincts.”

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Mariner does not, in fact, follow Sam’s instincts.

He isn’t there for what happens next, but hears about it from an amused Tendi who swings up into his bunk that evening to give him the lowdown.

“So, Beckett has a crush on Brad,” she says, hugging his pillow to her midsection.

Sam puts down his data padd and watches Tendi very carefully. “Oh?”

“Yep. She cornered him in the cafeteria, told him his eyes were pretty and that she liked him and then left, screeching something about sitcom-b plots and Starfleet alumni. I think she has inside jokes with herself? I’m not sure what that was about.”  

Sam can’t suppress the laugh that bubbles out of him. “God, she’s crazy. Are you okay?”

Tendi frowns, confused, at him. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Your best friend has a crush on your boyfriend?”

“My—my what? Wait, oh nine hells YOU GUYS THINK BRAD AND I ARE DATING?”

Sam has a sudden moment of clarity where he realizes that he does not, in fact, have all the braincells in their group.

“You aren’t?” he dumbly asks.

Tendi starts laughing. She laughs so hard she almost falls out of his bunk—he thankfully catches her in time, but it’s a close one. “Rutherford. Sam,” she wipes a tear away from her eyes. “I’m aromatic, you absolute complete dumbass.”

“You are?” Probably not the best reaction to his friend coming out, but Sam hardly has time to apologize, before Tendi is laughing at him again.

“Brad—well, I probably shouldn’t tell you, it’s his thing—but he kind of understands where I’m coming from. We were having friend dates.”

“But…Valentines Day,” he stresses.

Tendi rolls her eyes. “I asked Brad about Terra traditions and holidays and he gave me a fucking history lecture it was so boring. I did like the idea of Valentines Day and asked if I could partake in it with him. He suggested gift giving.”

Sam stares at her. “I am a dumbass.”

“You are,” she agrees. “But I need your dumbass brain to help me get Brad and Beckett together.”

“Oh, so you do have all the braincells,” he says, grinning.

Tendi’s smile is sharp. “I have no idea what you’re on about, but yes. Yes I do.”

Getting Mariner and Boimler together is way easier said than done. Mariner is avoiding everyone like a goddamn plague and Boimler is fluctuating between literally vibrating with anxiety and being depressed as shit.  

“Well they definitely don’t have the braincells,” Sam says, after another failed attempt to trap the two of them in a room together.

“You need to stop talking about braincells,” Tendi sighs. “Why don’t we just tell them that they like each other?”

“We can’t do that!”

“Why?”

“It’s too easy that way!”

Tendi stares at him.

Sam stares back.

“I’m telling Brad that Beckett has squishy feelings for him,” she deadpans. “And you’re going to try to catch Beckett and tell him that I don’t have squishy feelings for him. And then we’re going to lock them in a goddamn turbolift until they get their freak on.”

Tendi either has all of the braincells or none of them.

Their plan surprisingly takes a whole lot less subterfuge than Sam was expecting and a lot more—well—emotions. He did manage to find Mariner and after guiltily admitting that he may have been a bit wrong about the nature of Boimler and Tendi’s relationship, she was off in a shot, shrieking some nonsense about “third-act bullshit” and how she didn’t sign up to be the “pawn in a romantic subplot.”

Mariner might, actually, be certifiably crazy. 

Brad hears about one of the turbolifts breaking from another ensign in his department. He and Tendi subtly high-five.

Six hours later—“if there was ever a time for buffer time, that time is now, Tendi”—a grinning Mariner and a mildly disheveled, exit the turbolift.

It ends like this:

Tendi is attempting to teach Sam poker. Well. It’s not actual poker, more like a hybrid of Mariner’s version of poker and a card game from Tendi’s home world, but it’s close enough and they’re having fun, so it really doesn’t matter.

Mariner is drunk as fuck, alternating between casually hitting on a flustered Boimler and insulting the shit out of anyone who even looks in their direction.

Tendi lays down her cards. Straight flush. Sam moans in despair. Boimler lets out a shriek of stop doing that we’re in public you moron and Mariner cackles in that unhinged way of hers.

None of them have the braincells.

[beanie-on-a-string]

Dark Crystal AOR Modern Au Headcanons

Rian

So like

I’ve said this before but

V-necks everywhere. Also flannels. He likes flannels. And on an especially good day... flannel on top of v-neck.

He’s like... average height, maybe a little taller

His dad put him in fencing when he was super teeny and now he loves it and is really good

Also just a side note but MIRA IS NOT DEAD IN THIS AU SHE JUST HAD TO MOVE AWAY OK

They’re not dating anymore but they’re still friends and keep in contact

Anyway

He’s just a smartass. This guy won’t keep his mouth shut.

This guy takes amazing care of his hair. Like, it’s not even funny how well cared for his hair is

But sometimes you wonder if there’s a brain under that hair of his

Once he considered dyeing his whole head blue like the color of his streaks and Gurjin was like “...dude no”

Picky eater

Is in love with Deet and it shows

Is also convinced that she doesn’t like him that way

Has tried a man bun once. Does not like it.

Will let Deet certain people braid his hair

Very tactile when you get to know him

Even when he’s just met you he’s a little more tactile than the average person

Gurjin

HOODIES

Out of him and Rian he’s the one that usually holds the braincell

Always keeping Rian from making stupid decisions

He and his sister both had dreads

Pretty tall

He used to fence with Rian but didn’t really enjoy it

He used to swim on the side but now it’s his main sport

Man buns man buns man buns

Rian is confused on how he can stand them

“They HURT though”

Mom friend

Shakes his head at everything

A lot of the time he gets pulled into situations he doesn’t really know about, but he helps his friends no matter what

Keeps trying to tell Rian it’s obvious Deet likes him but the attempts are ignored

Him and Brea are trying to get them to realize it but it’s sO HARD

Can cook

Brea

Obviously keeps a diary

Denies being a good artist

Also she’s one of those people that has so many books on her bedside table that they look like they’re going to fall any second

She wears knee-high socks and is into pastels

Headbands and ribbons

She can and will give everybody hugs all the time

Bakes a lot

Her and Gurjin will usually provide food

Gurjin and Brea just have a great friendship ok

Looks cute but she could really kick your ass if she wanted to

Laughs at everything

Kylan is teaching her the flute

She’s close with Kylan but at this point she only likes him as a friend and is oblivious to his huge crush on her

When she helps Deet garden, she complains about getting dirty but does it anyway

Has a vendetta against pigeons

Sometimes it feels like she never sleeps

Just a little shorter than average height

She can be surprisingly dirty minded at times and everone will be like “ *gasp* BREA” but Rian would be in the corner snickering

Seladon

Moody ™️

Great at makeup

ROCKS BLACK LIPSTICK FIGHT ME

There was a phase when she acted out and acted rude and selfish towards Brea, Tavra, and their mom but looking back on it she realized she was a butt and is trying to improve

Will sometimes help others with makeup if they need it

Goes all out at Halloween and everyone always loves her costume

Doesn’t like when other people touch her

Awkward hugger

She’s, like, the top of her class

Queen of sarcasm

She’s insecure about herself but Tavra always supports her

Has a soft spot for Tavra

Gets discouraged very easily

Morning person

Does ballet and wants to dance professionally

Deet

Deet is pretty short compared to the others

Everyone always uses her as an armrest and surprisingly she’s fine with it

She’s newer to the group but everyone just fell in love with her like effective immediately

Now it’s like she’s been there all along

Also tactile (but not as much as Rian)

She wears overalls a lot

Gardening is her passion

Dirt under her nails all the time, which annoys Gurjin and Seladon to death

Smells like flowers

Everyone loves her baby brother

He can be a bit of a gremlin though

She loves hats

Sunhats when she gardens

She’s, like, the sweetest person

Absolute cinnamon roll

The entire group agrees that they must protect her at all costs

Can be savage on accident

Will send memes to everyone at ungodly hours

“Deet it’s 2 am why are you still up”

Also vegan

Loves animals and doesn’t understand why Brea hates pigeons so much

Fell HARD for Rian

Kissed him on the cheek once but he thought it was because they were good friends

Loves to braid Rian’s hair

Also fun fact but her dads are 100% the people to say “if you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all”

But Deet always has something nice to say so she’s good

Tavra

Chugs Respect Woman Juice ™️

Her and Onica have like the cutest relationship ever

She’s like the cool aunt

Does martial arts and will not be afraid to kick your face off

Would do anything for her sisters

Is always disappearing to places with Onica

By now everyone’s used to it

Can see into your soul

People always go to her to talk/rant because she always listens and gives good advice

Sticks up for Seladon no matter what

Kylan

Music prodigy

He has a humongous crush on Brea

Wears polo shirts

Flautist flautist flautist

The only thing he can make is soup

And he’s good at soup

Everyone loves his soup

Quieter than most of the others

Kids love him

Astronomy buff

Also loves folk tales and mythology

Meditates

Brings his flute everywhere. Sometimes it looks like he has no space to even old his keys but WHOOP there’s the flute where did he even-

Believes very strongly in the supernatural

Naia

General badassery

Tall like Gurjin

Also a swimmer

Skeptical and always questions Kylan

Does not give a damn what you think

Leather jackets

When she laughs she laughs LOUD

Doesn’t realize how STRONG she is

Muscles for days

Eats like a monster