#that most recent post in the tag is actually insane but these are things ive thougt abt saying for awhile

[ladystoneboobs]

[Cat, to Brienne:]"And Arya, well . . . Ned's visitors would oft mistake her for a stableboy if they rode into the yard unannounced. [...]" -Catelyn VII, aCoK

ok, this is another thing that makes me feel like i'm taking crazy pills bc i never see it talked about with all the implications behind it. so if anyone is more versed in androgynous medievalish clothing, feel free to correct me here, but my thinking is if unannounced visitors mistook arya for a stableboy, would that not mean she was wearing boyish riding garb, trousers and all? bc if she was running around with messy hair and a dirty gown, wouldn't she more likely be seen as a female servant? if my reading is not wildly offbase that does not jibe with the idea of arya being terrorized all day by both septa mordane and her mother to be more ladylike. rather, this limited freedom to be mistaken for a servant could suggest that pragmatic catelyn was picking her battles with arya too, not forcing her to always appear prim and proper on days when they were not expecting any guests to see her. catelyn "despaired of ever making a lady of" arya, though neither she nor ned could abandon the goal, which could mean a more measured approach, not exhausting herself by going after arya for every unladylike move she made, especially when she was still a prepubescent child. the quote above starts a paragraph which ends with catelyn feeling "as though a giant hand were squeezing her chest" after saying she thought arya was dead like bran and rickon, after no word of her since ned's arrest. in that context of grief, i think all her words about arya should be read as coming with bittersweet fondness, just being honest about their problems, not sugarcoating any of it.

but let's compare catelyn's trials with arya, including her often running around looking like a stableboy, to arya's interactions with lady smallwood, somehow seen as an even better mother-figure than her own mother, whom arya found easier to comply with bc of her kinder manner. first of all, lady smallwood's efforts to make arya ladylike included two baths and two dresses in one day after arya and gendry ruined the first dress, before finally giving her boy's riding clothes to leave in. i would argue a full second bath was unneeded when they could have just washed the dirt off her face and hands, and, furthermore, that both the dresses were an impractical waste when she knew arya would be riding back out with the outlaws and could not look a highborn lady when doing so. idt pragmatic catelyn would have gone to all that trouble just to make arya look ladylike for a few hours when there were no other ladies around. as for the claim that arya found it easier to comply with her? no, that's just flat-out demonstrably false. the text says she was "forced" into a tub and "they insisted" she wear girl's clothes. what room did she have to refuse as a hostage in a stranger's castle? she certainly felt no compunction about fighting gendry in the acorn dress she'd been forced into, and only felt bad about it afterward when lady smallwood talked about her dead son.

now, let's move on to the only canon quotes we have from cat to/about arya in arya's pov.

"Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith." -Arya I, aGoT Her father had hunted boar in the wolfswood with Robb and Jon. Once he even took Bran, but never Arya, even though she was older. Septa Mordane said boar hunting was not for ladies, and Mother only promised that when she was older she might have her own hawk. -Arya V, aCoK Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. -The Blind Girl(/Arya I), aDwD

in the first quote we don't know catelyn's reaction to septa mordane's rude disapproval of arya, certainly not if she agreed with it. what we do know is she was not interested in only hearing endless praise of sansa and wanted to hear if arya had made any progress. although admittedly that was a vain hope, which ignored arya's true strengths and the possibility that she could never master and enjoy needlework the way catelyn did.

the second quote better shows the difference between arya's mother and her septa. catelyn does not criticize arya for wanting to hunt boar nor dismiss her interest. instead she tries to mollify arya and accomodate her desire with the promise of a future hunting hawk. that this was a promise, not just an idle thought, suggests this would have happened in due time and could have been a bonding activity for them if the plot hadn't intervened.

the third quote is definitely a backhanded compliment and doubly unhelpful in comparison to sansa, but at least it shows catelyn did not think one of her own daughters was ugly. she thought both were pretty even tho sansa was the more admired as traditionally beautiful, and she thought arya's looks were held back by her messy hair and clothes. (useful to remember for those fans who like to keep track of how many characters called arya pretty vs. how many call her ugly.)

yes, it is a bad sign that arya genuinely wondered if her mother would want her back, dirtier than ever in her disguise as a peasant boy. their relationship definitely had faults which the adult parent must bear responsibility for. but we must remember that arya also worried if robb would pay a ransom for her, and was most ashamed about the people she'd killed, and couldn't bear the thought of ned knowing all she'd done. and we must keep in mind that even ned never openly gainsaid septa mordane on-page either, and that arya desperately wanted to renunite with her mother and felt confident gendry could stay with her if she vouched for him with her mother. that confidence would seem completely unwarranted if their mother/daughter relationship was as utterly bad as some fans make out.

[retros-artandstuff]

vriska + a transmasc dave doodle

[0809sysblings]

it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???

[jeanvanjer]

Hi, I hope you don't mind the question, but do you have a list of (historical) romance novels you recommend somewhere? I'm pretty new to the genre and would like some recs to start off with.

Thank you!

Of course I dont mind! I dont have a list here (but if you check the book recs tag or reading romance im sure youd find books ive read or books friends have recommeded) so I'll just post a few here.

Fair warning! I am horrible of keeping track of the books I've read so my recs will be a just a bunch of random books I like. @mermaidsirennikita and @triviareads are far more organized in their book recs than I am so you can always check their pages.

Please let me know if you'd like specific tropes!! Or more importantly if you have any TWs!

The Chief (the entire Highland Guard series actually) by Monica McCarthy. Tor MacLeod is a highland laird very much focused on helping Robert the Bruce with his secret plan to free Scotland from English Rule but his sudden marriage to sweet Tina is distracting him. They're forced to marry after she's found in his bed (her dad blackmailed her into getting herself ruined instead of her sister). The entire series is honestly a banger. It marries actual history with romance in a very clever way. The Chief is 1 of 12 so you have a lot of different tropes and stories to choose from if this one isnt for you!

Convergence of Desire by Felicity Niven - A TRULY WONDERFUL book with great disability rep. Harry (Harriet) is probably the biggest STEM heroine Ive read in HR (I know you love those based on your writing) and is on the spectrum. On paper Thomas is a rake that cannot fathom committing to only one woman but he needs to marry for money fast and she just wants to solve Fermat's Last Theorem. They enter a marriage of convenience and this book is just plain lovely. The very few books that have made me cry. Its emotional and the relationship that builds between these two is just🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽

The Winter King and The Sea King by CL Wilson. CL Wilson is an amazing writing imo. I haven't read romantasy since high school and these books were the first ive read and enjoyed after such a long time. The first book is a marriage of convenience/ forced marriage situation. Her brother killed his brother and fiance?? I dont remember the specifics. But he wants a bride as payment and Thasin (our herione) father is an ass and decided TW there is dubcon. The first sex scene is the wedding night and there are aphrodiacs involved. Second one Dilys is a merman. Thats always fun. Super feminist too. Dont remember the exact details but did have a great time reading this one too.

The Duke Gets Even by Johanna Shupe. Shupe is a great writer and from the very few books I've read of her, The Duke Gets Even is probably my favorite.

Anything by Lorraine Heath but the most recent book I remember reading is The Duchess Hunt where the hero appoints his secretary (who secretly loves him) to find his a wife. Preferably one who is as organized, wonderful, and knows him as much as she does LOL. Lorraine one of the best writers in the genre and they always hit emotionally. You won’t go wrong with anything by her.

Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas. An all time favorite book of mine. Think Persuasion but with a revenge plot. Aline drives McKenna away when they were younger to save him and he comes back a rich ass bitch ready for revenge. The chemistry between Aline and McKenna is insane. One of the few times I truly believed the “soulmates” thing. These two are definitely soulmates. And there’s a wonderful secondary romance as well.

What I Did For a Duke by Julie Anne Long. An Age Gap romance where Alexander plans to seduce Genevieve as revenge against her brother (who slept with his mistress) but she susses him out quickly from there they become sort of friends? he helps her win over her crush, he tells her she has stars in her hair, and along the way they fall in love. Alex is one of my all time favorite heroes.

Lord Of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase. As much as I love the hero of this book, Dan I recommend this book a lot solely for the heroine. Jessica Trent has my heart. She is that bitch.

Heartless Duke by Scarlett Scott. An intense romance between Leo, an agent for England and Bridgit, a fenian rebel. Lots of angst and sexual tension. So good.

Lost in Your Arms and That Scandalous Evening by Christina Dodd. These books were one of the first books I read when I started my own reading journey so these hold a special place in my heart. LIYA is about Enid who’s living her life as a widowed caretaker but then someone comes to tell her husband is alive and on the brink of death so she’s forced to nurse him back to health. The love confession that happens is honestly one of my favorite confessions of all time. TSE is about Jane who is back from self imposed exile after a scandal that ruined her ten years back. Ransom, the cause of her scandal and her last crush, suspects of being a spy and tries to stop her. With his heart (and dick).

[thepowerisyouth]

Eh mental health is annoying. Buying & cooking cheap low-FODMAP diet is annoying. My best top note for now is I'm using this blog to practice writing. I need more practice in it. I only know business, accounting & economics stuff. Its stupid stuff. Theres too much actual fraud everywhere that its annoying

Also I use mobile so formatting sucks cause Nvidia GPUs, or Arch dont like tumblr site. Or tumblr site dont like tumbkr site

Also also I 100,000% support all my fellow ones-and-zeros and their identity. Everyone is welcome here.

Except transphobes/zionist/long list of others but you get it. I'll help harrass any of those types endlessly if someone wants to tag me, and bring me in on an argument like that friend you call for backup with fights

Im unhinged so who's to say exactly what will end up here but this is also a completely public blog to me friends, family, hell, even acquaintances i dont give a fuc.

Blog should be expected to be roughly as child-friendly as simpsons or bobs burgers. But also boring like a civics/economics lesson sometimes. Yay

--------

I (and my husband) am ex mormon. Its a weird thing. Look into it if you havent recently. Realllllyyyy look into. Takes time to figure it all out in this fuckin fucked up world.

I just moved a year ago. Didnt watch the US stock market as much as I normally do. Had my first snowstorm 10 weeks ago, that was.. fun to handle while ill prepared. About 6 weeks ago I was hopping back on the market and notice its a huge tech bubble about to pop and all the conditions Ive been warned about my whole career imply this is not good. Just took a little more thinking & digging and I'm a little too confident to stop talking about it now.

(Oh I'm also care-free as fuc so I dont really read or desire to change past posts more than lil-nitpicks. More informative for the reader & myself-in-the-future-reading that way)

And I'm not kidding I do love feedback & questions. Its a very public blog tho so I get that part for sure.

If you search "life story" in my tags I had that pinned for a min Im just moving shit around rn

Being poor sucks. Will write more on that later.

---------------

First of all-- the exact timeline of an "economic shock" is literal insanity. Dont worry about the exact timing of any of this-- just know its doomed to happen soon.

Here are some effects I predict of this upcoming economic downturn

If anyone comes across any sources for these events that support my arguments please feel free to add in comments, reblogs, etc.

This concise list is mainly for my own reference, but it would be great to add to it if any one has something to add!

0.5. US Stock market collapse-- I have no desire to try and predict this one exactly. Too many conspiracies are actually correct about this big guy. Lets just say 7 US Tech stocks are worth 25% of the entire worlds market, roughly. "Too big to fail"-- I believe is the phrase

1. Corporate (slightly later will be residential by extension) real estate crisis: currently way too overvalued. Most of the houses, land, & urban corporate property we see could stand to decrease by about 60-90% from its current price.

2. Bankruptcy crisis: similar to the after-effects of the 70s inflation-- we can expect to see a huge wave of bankruptcies affecting a variety of business: from the micro-self employed; to the small business with leased buildings; to the largest corporations who commit massive accounting fraud & hope to escape accountability in time

3. Bank runs-- there is an extremely high overreliance on the Federal Reserve, who does not have good control over this situation. Once it becomes clear that there is a crisis (we call this a catalyst event)-- bank runs for physical cash are a surety. Hard to say how long a crisis like this might last. I should ask my siblings who lived near the SVB bank crisis hotspot (but those were rich fucks they do their "bank runs" over the phone)

3.5. Global currency collapse, which takes effect in every single local, state, & national economy at slightly different times. This means prices lower. Much lower. But takes time

4. Whatever the fuck the geopolitics is gonna do???. Its weird. You got Russia wanting to invade Europe? (Look at global economic forum 2024) Trump wants to let them. Biden wants to be an establishment corporate ass. North Korea has changed its #1 public enemy to South Korea (dont remember my source but it was a couple months ago). USA is stationing more troops in Taiwan, but probably only because of semiconductor technology?

The scope of our global financial woes are larger than can be explained in any of our lifetimes. Its much, much closer to pre-revolution France or the late 1920s. Big change is coming. Itll be soon

5. More to come

[kk4pups]

hi. i am a person that saw your tags out there and wants to ask you about your vocaloid playlists. go wild have fun <3 have a good time

hi. i love you. i have mental illness. lets talk about it

theres 22 right now........... some of them have silly names but i am not changing that for this post. i had to put emojis on all of them because i started having trouble finding my playlists at a glance. big al is my favorite (105 songs/covers but like 10 are privated so more like 95) but he actually doesnt get new additions to his playlist that often because no one gaf about big al (and im unreasonably picky about how people tune him given how little content he gets too) but i did add one (1) cover last night so thats awesome

my brain rot playlist is the biggest sitting at 855 songs/covers atm, probably an Unreasonable percent of that is covers because most of my favs (big al, piko, fukase, etc) dont Get originals very often for various reasons. but honestly even in the case of favs who get plenty of originals (len, flower) i still have lots of covers for them too i feel like this is somehow a funny reflection of my tastes which i think are kind of unconventional in terms of the selection of synths i enjoy. but at the same time, my dex playlist has literally 3 songs in it because i just found out i had a dex playlist (i forgot) so all of them are various levels of filled out.

the oliver playlist is particularly sparse (8 songs/covers) which i am sad about because oliver is in my top 5-6 vocaloids but i Rarely find things i like with him (because a lot of people use him for ballads and i am incapable of enjoying ballads 99% of the time even if i can appreciate their beauty. i get bored) and im praying to god that maghni will save me from this terrible fate of empty playlist

my rin playlist is pathetic though because probably at least half of it is rin/len duets but this is not the case for my len playlist so my bias is 100% there unfortunately my matsudappoiyo playlist (66 songs/covers) probably sees the most activity in recent days because i listened to just a few covers for him and it was then the only thing youtube would recommend for several months. ron keine is incidental because people ship him with matsudappoiyo so he just kept Showing Up during this period (14 songs/covers. actually since these are two are utau they might all be covers) but ive grown to like him so i actually listen to it frequently and want to add to it my misc utau playlist doesnt have an emoji right now because what the hell emoji do you use for that. the 🇺 emoji isnt a real emoji outside of discord it just converts to unicode do you know how mad i am about that. open to suggestions on this issue i want to make one for kiyoteru but i probably have less than 10 songs for him right now. maybe less than 5. and every time i make a new playlist i have to wrestle youtube to load my 855 song playlist in its entirety, so that i can find all the songs i have for that specific vocaloid, but is so laggy that its actually a problem, i dont know what to do about it. but ive also seen people with 2000+ song vocaloid playlists so i have no idea what im going to do when i get to that point which given enough time i Will but also its taken 7 (?) years to Passively get to this point so i dont think its an immediate concern either (? unless i go insane? which is not an unrealistic possibility at this point) also im open to vocaloid song suggestions always, and it really does not matter who the vocaloid is because i like all vocaloids (yes all of them. yes even that one) in a perfect world i would make a playlist for every vocaloid, but i think if i made an active effort to do so i would literally die, and its something that can only occur if it happened naturally, which it probably wont because even if i am happy to listen to any vocaloid i Do only actively seek out my favs i really need to make more playlists. but like i am already in this position lol

[prisonguards]

@astronomical-bagel

I am. SO terribly sorry about how long this took to reply to, my brain wanted to sit down and write an Essay for u but Ive been. SO BUSY. But seriously Ive been treasuring and hoarding this ask :) its SOOOO so so nice that other people enjoy them as much as I do and Im so happy I could help collect us a little with the tag ^--^ we are all friends now <3 EDIT ALSO TUMBLR ATE THE FUCKING ASK???? I did have screenshot of ur ask thankfully, Im soooo pissed tho idk where it went

So Im gonna go into my history with them a bit cause I kinda got into them backwards ig augshsg. Or at least different from how most ppl in the tag/posting abt them rn are. I was primarily a Traffic and Emp S1 smallidarity guy for the longest time! Funnily enough I was a late adopter of Emp S2 smallidarity (enemies to lovers usually isnt my thing) but the way the community latched onto it and got everyone talking about them really, really got me invested (also getting kin feels helped /shot. Who said that.) I think the other funny thing is that smallidarity is a dynamic where I like the platonic version (almost) equally as much as the romantic—I push for the romantic just because its easiest to collect ppl with a shiptag (although I did intend Smallidarity to be both a platonic and a romantic tag, ftr. Post both! Any! All!) and because I enjoy Complicated dynamics that are easier caught/categorized under a “romantic” lens sometimes even if they arent Necessarily that. But I just love when theyre important to eachother in general.

I actually have Such delusions abt their Traffic dynamic. Im so insane abt it. I think theyre good friends with Joel having slowly building romantic feelings for Jimmy throughout the seasons, which Jimmy is… pretty much aware of and would reciprocate—if Joel would ever ask (he never will). The Last Life dynamic in particular is one that haunts me, because it. Feels like their most amicable Traffic dynamic, at least in my memory, and in no small part of that is Joel pledging to avenge Jimmy (and Mumbo but this is a Smallidarity post isnt it). That small comment profoundly impacts my Traffic Joel characterization and Im planning to incorporate little objects of remembrance for Jimmy into my late game Joel designs. Traffic smallidarity… like many Traffic dynamics that captivate me… its about the missed opportunities, its about the lack of time, its about Tragedy… I just have such bad Last Life brainrot on the mind rn so this has been whats living with me Daily rn.

I also think their 100 Hours is one of the most funny and most OBVIOUSLY flirty dynamics, though I may get into that a bit more with another ask that I got recently, and, well. My Sorry Sir compilation covers a lot of it.

Double Life is what actually converted me but I cannot think of what the Exact moment was. I went back to my messages from when the eps were coming out and.

They immediately got me.

Theres so many good Traffic moments. One day I will make that clip compilation. I swear.

EMPIRES S1……… theyre best friends… I think it would be funny if Joel is independently dating both him and Lizzie and Then they all find out Jimmy and Lizzie are siblings and Joel is like. Oh jesus Christ my type is Even More specific than I thought. Fishkisser boy. Joel making the joke romantic montage of Jimmy before declaring hes gonna be proposing to Lizzie made me. Drop dead. This dynamic is Everything I craved out of them, watching this directly after Double Life and during Emp S2, when theyre most antagonistic, made me fully insane. I LOVE when theyre nice to eachother. So much. Best friends who kiss. Little design headcanon for them is like. Joel is Fully embellished by pearls he gets from Jimmy and Lizzie. I should give Jimmy n Lizzie azaleas to wear in exchange too auughh..

Okay finally circling back to Where We Are Now. Emp S2. These fuckers.

So Im delusional and like it best when theyre Soft right? So even though S2 lends itself So well to toxicity (and dont get me wrong. Sometimes I Gotta indulge) I rlly like making it cutesy as fuck. Joels obsession and complete infatuation and cute aggression is everything. Hes so infatuated with this guy he doesnt know what to do with himself and just is Relentless. schoolyard “hes bullying you because he likes you” type beats. Hes my moron hes my annoying king. I cannot remember if Ive talked abt my design headcanons fully but Im big on the Jimmy Was Human but Joels god powers are Changing That. I think its subconscious, hes not doing it maliciously, reality just bends to his will too much.

Also. Found my decision moments… these are from July 3rd.

I think. Overall the most enthralling thing about them is the care that underlies everything. That despite the endless teasing and bullying, Joel really genuinely care about Jimmy in a way he struggles to express sometimes. I think its really special and charming and compelling. I just have illnesses about them

[dotsayers]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad 

this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb

way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter

as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)

do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)

standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)

a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)

where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter  because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy 

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it! 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo

14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?

oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing

16. What are your writing strengths?

once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope

tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this

[quintennyson]

creator tag game

Rules: answer the questions and then tag 10+ other creators to answer the questions!

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: first and most recent

one of your favorite creations from 2020: this is probably my favorite gifset ive made this year just bc he’s............. so pretty and the coloring looks good and it’s just!! brilliant

a creation you’re really proud of: this one, which is one of my most recent sets... it just looks good to me? and it was something new i tried this year (and yes its the one from the next question) and it turned out nice and i just? really enjoyed it??

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: i started using actual typography in edits in like. the last couple of days lmao which i did here and here, i always thought sets w typography were so cool and i. wanna learn to do it more

your favorite coloring: this the boys set looks really good imo and i’m super proud of the coloring (blood tw) also this dash and lily set has really nice coloring and also i really like this the modern age: my week with cameron collier set very much it looks pretty

a creation that took you forever: this blue set and this red set both took a really long time (and was also a new style i tried this year) and im v proud of them

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this dash and lily nick jonas cameo one and once again i must say thank you nick jonas

a creation you think deserved more notes: this jack and dean set just bc like... they predicted covid y'all

a creation with a favorite scene/quote: this xander harris set!!! the zeppo is one of my absolute favorite buffy episodes and this scene just.... hits real hard for me

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: dash and lily!! but also i kinda got heavy on the austin abrams fandom lmao i’ve made a lot of things for both (including an entire austin abrams source blog which IS linked throughout this post) but as far as dash and lily goes im really happy with this lily wardrobe gifset bc its like. idk it looks good to me and im proud of it and its also almost my most popular set of the year

a creation you made that breaks your heart: this escape the night s4 death scene absolutely kills me because tana did Not deserve to go out like that, also this dash and lily set kills me every time

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: this gifset is literally just a few gifs of an outfit but i adore it very much, this set is also just a one second clip put into two very simple gifs with barely any coloring but i adore it v much

a creation that was inspired by another one (add both your creation and the one that inspired it!): okay i literally just posted this set but....... i love it ok and it was inspired by this set by @lorelaigilmo

a favorite creation created by someone else: okay i have. a lot of gifsets i ADORE from this year but immediately coming to mind are this set by @anakin-skywalker which has such pretty coloring and such an awesome layout, this set by @zoeyxjoan and tbh i havent seen the show its from but the coloring and typography and everything about this set is so GOOD, this set by @meliorn is so pretty i havent seen this show but the rainbow coloring has me weak, this set by @stupidape is so pretty i havent seen lotr but its such a pretty set the colors and typography and everything i love it, this set by @msjessicaday is so pretty i could scream the rainbow colors are so nice and the layout is so cute i love it, this set by @eddiediaz has me going insane its so pretty and so well done and i could scream, and this set by @robintunney is super cool and i love the cutouts!!

some of your favorite content creators from the year: there are so many but people ive really loved especially in the past few months are @nomoregoldfish, @jakeperalta, @danslevy and @cerealbishh

for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: this ani achola set bc she’s very pretty and a Good character and also i just like how the set turned out, also this ani achola set again bc she’s pretty, this charlie st george set bc its adorable, this chalex set where charlie’s being protective af, this the boys set bc the development... i could sob, this dash and lily set is hilarious, this one is also hilarious and dash said gay rights

i was tagged by @danslevy but i’m too nervous to tag people skdfjhsd but if u wanna do it pls do and say i tagged you!!

[hannahchuu]

I was tagged by @makeitpoppy 💕😍

Are you staying at home from work/school?

So, I haven't been to work since beginning of March but I have to go back there next week (for now it's just a meeting bc I'm working in a hotel & my schedule depends on the amount of guests we have). I've been really happy about that tho bc I still get paid & just before the pandemic happend, I got really overwhelmed by my work & started to hate it a lot. I also had some issues with a colleague & I dread having to see her again. I had really wished that I wouldn't have to go back there anytime soon.

University has also been cancelled after only one regular week & I only have online classes now. Tbf tho, I would've only had one class overall this semester bc I'm in my last semester of university & only my master's thesis is left. My only class is a Japanese conversation class, which is online now & I'm really struggling with the format lol. It's so odd to have to talk to people when you can't see them & half the time you also can't hear them properly.

As for my master's thesis...at first I was fine with quarantine & uni being cancelled bc I thought it'd give me time to focus on my thesis but unexpectedly libraries also closed for two months & I wasn't able to get any books until beginning of May. So I basically didn't do anything at home ahaha.

If you’re at home, who is there with you?

No one. My mum used to be there occasionally but she has since gone to her boyfriend's house and rarely ever comes. (Which is totally fine btw. She really stresses me out lol)

Do you have pets to keep you company?

No 💔

Who do you miss the most?

I have social anxiety so I'm actually quite happy about not having to see anyone. I also feel like I talk (via phone) to my friends & family way more often now. I do however, miss certain activities like going shopping with my friends. Oh & hugs! I also miss my sister & her girlfriend bc it's always fun being around them. And I miss the people in my Japanese class. Online classes really take away the social aspects of it (Like talking with people before & after).

When was the last time you left your home?

Yesterday! I went to the supermarket bc my fridge was v v empty. The last time I left to go somewhere else was last Thursday when I went to the library.

What was the last thing you bought?

The last thing I bought in person was food. Last online purchase were face masks (as in sheet masks) ahaha.

Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

I'm sort of relaxed? Like more relaxed than usual I think. I'm a bit stressed out about my future bc I'm right at the end of my university education & I actually planned to finish my thesis & get a full-time job by the end of the year but I'm not sure whether there will still be jobs or job interviews ahahah. My thesis also stresses me out a bit. But I think all of this would've also stressed me out w/o quarantine so overall I'm relaxed. I'm getting stressed out by the prospect of going back to work tho.

Are you a homebody?

Yessssss

What movies have you watched recently?

So I was planning on watching tons of films during quarantine but I haven't watched any so far ahahah

I mainly watch anime & YouTube

An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

Two anime conventions I've been going to religiously with my friends T_T

What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

My Japan trip. It would've been my very first trip to Japan but a week before we were due to leave Austria issued a travel warning for all countries. Later on all tourists arriving in Japan also had to quarantine themselves for 2 weeks. I was super upset about having to cancel it but also sort of relieved bc I wouldn't have wanted to go there in the middle of a pandemic. I also got all of my money refunded so yay.

What’s the best thing you had to cancel?

Any kind of social interaction and work ahahhahaha

Do you have any new hobbies?

Not really. Before I started working on my thesis, I studied Japanese more frequently but that's about it.

What are you out of?

Skincare! I put off ordering any new items bc I was supposed to go to Japan & I thought I could just buy everything there. Well, now I'm out of toner, essence, a good cleanser and face masks :(( I ended up ordering more at the end of March but my order still hasn't arrived yet (It's stuck at customs T____T)

What music are you listening to?

Mainly German Hip-Hop ahahah

What shows are you watching?

Soooo, I've literally watched 7 anime series so far:

Chobits

Kimagure Orange Road

Yuru Camp (my favourite)

Sabagebu!

Citrus

Fullmetal Alchemist

Asobi Asobase

So yeah, quite productive! I gotta focus on my thesis now tho so I’ve only been sporadically watching Ojamajo Doremi.

What are you reading?

My only goal for this quarantine was to finally read all of the books that have been piling up on my bedside table, which I did yay

I've read The Scarlet Letter, The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea (I recommend), The Moon over the Mountain, UFO In Her Eyes (I can also recommend) & In Dreams Begin Responsibilities and Other Stories.

I got 3 more books for my birthday (Poems To Fix A Fucked Up World, Japanese Tales of Mystery and Imagination & Roadqueen), which I haven't gotten around to reading yet.

What are you doing for self care?

Taking long baths & reading in the bath tub 💕 I also apply lash serum, a lip mask & body lotion every night.

Are you exercising?

Yes! I actually started exercising everyday in September & I'm still doing it yay

How’s your toilet paper supply?

I still have enough left ahahah I was supposed to be quarantined w my mum but I ended up being by myself & I don’t need a lot.

Have you made any changes to your hair?

Not yet. I've been considering getting bangs & the only thing that (luckily) is stopping me is that one tumblr post that's like you don't need bangs! you need therapy!!!!

I tag @lunarix @swaddle @motherfuckinbuddha @ive-beendreaming​ @kaizoku​ @piggiechi​ @regenbogen-flummi​ @misodelivery​ @vroomkat​ @zyphyyr​ @my-selfish-love @giantoflight @frillypinkdreams @catpacks @cupidie @emograntaire @sugarmickey @bubbleteaboy & everyone else who wants to do this

[jejciu]

why do you always assume no one wants so see your work? probably none of us have the midground tag blacklisted, if someone follows you it's probably for your work and art! dont be so hard on yourself, we love your drawings and the way you talk about your ocs, its actually really inspiring to see someone so invested in their characters. keep doing the good work!

anon making me cry already, and its only 11 am………….. i am melting

the thing is, until very recently, i would very often lose some followers when posting/reblogging my drawings. and i know i shouldnt care, its just a number. but it still sucked sooooo much, bc it kept happening almost every time, and my drawings would get less than 10 notes. and my ocs kinda started feeling more and more personal bc of that, and u know… when something is so personal, u just kinda get used to the thought that most people dont care. especially considering the fact that ive been writing midground since fall of 2014, and the first time i even mentioned it on tumblr was 5 months ago. i still cant get used to it…….. its just such a fresh concept to me, having someone pay attention to what i create…….. and even genuinely like it…….????

honestly, im insanely grateful for all the support im getting. i would still be getting 10 notes tops on my drawings if it wasnt for my sweet, wonderful, angelic mutuals and followers, without their support, their posts that r like “HAVE U SEEN MAURYCYS ART???”, the way some people would use my drawings as their icons?????? which is fucking wild, okay. i cant believe it.

and thank u so so so so much for this ask!!!!! it really made me happy, ok. i hope ur having a very nice day sunshine!!!!!! 

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 12

spoookyyyy season, lmao I tried answering as many as I could but now I am going to be deleting the rest of my inbox so sorry if I didn’t get to answer you :( also WCIFs are on hiatus rn but you can find a lot of the stuff I use on my cc finds blog

Anonymous said: hey, have you ever thought about making a blackpink inspired hair?            

Most of my hairs start off being K-Pop inspired and then don’t look like what I was trying to achieve, so if I tried making one it wouldn’t look right once I finished it haha, I have a hair based off Lisa though!

Anonymous said: are all of your hairs also male compatible? there's a guy sim i want to make who has shoulder length hair and one of yours would be great to use

I never check that since I make them for female sims, but if you change some tags in S4S you should be able to check the hair you want yourself :D

Anonymous said: would you be ok with people converting your hair?       

Sure! I plan on converting some hairs eventually but if other people do it then I don’t mind at all. Just credit me obvi and link to the original post

Anonymous said: Hey, I love your CC (especially the hairs) and your sims are so beautiful! However, I noticed that so far you only uploaded your female sims (not that I’m complaining, they’re all gorgeous!) but I was just wondering if you could upload one or two male sims sometime? They look amazing too!            

I actually have had my male model sim in my drafts since JANUARY ready to post, I just need to get his tray files haha. Will try to do it soon! Also ty

Anonymous said: Have you posted your female "model" for everything on the sims 4 gallery?

yeah they’re on the gallery! Aharris00britney is my origin ID

Anonymous said: hiya, i was wondering if you created your own hair textures or if you used ea's (or anyone else's textures)? thanks!            

I use EA textures as bases and usually edit them somehow by combining different ones together when needed.

@ellebellsims​ said: Hello! Tysm for all the lovely hairs you provide for us! I end up using at least one of your hairs for every household in my game, haha. I had two quick questions.. the first, for someone that has limited abilities in making recolors (and never with hair before) how difficult is it to add an ombre accessory or recolor for one of your hairs? Also, how difficult would it be to convert for kids?    

Recolors are really easy to do, there are tons of tutorials on YouTube that will help with that. Ombre accessories are a bit challenging but hopefully I can get a tutorial for those out one day. Converting to kids is really simple if you know Blender basics, you can use my converting to adults tutorial to get an idea of how a conversion would work.        

Anonymous said: You had a obession with the flowers lmao            

lmao, very true!

Anonymous said: wcif the ice cream in this post? /post/174729716466/icecreamedit            

the ice cream was drawn in by @ayoshi-sims​ :( so it isn’t a real thing

@wholegrainsims​ said: hey there! i saw in your about that your favorite show is game of thrones! mine too! also your hair that’s coming out on 9/30 looks like a mm cersei hair & i’ve been dying for some mm got cc! looking forward to it!            

omg true! I didn’t even think of Cersei while making it lmao, thank you for pointing that out to me :D

Anonymous said: O M G  your selfie in the 57 facts tag was the most adorable thing ever. You're like insanely handsome?? I am shook???

Anonymous said: how does you feel being extremely beautiful?          

@theforgottensimblr​ said: omg, just saw your post at the fire alarm and I just have to say that you are so cute. That's it, you're cute. Hope you're having a good day        

Anonymous said: YOU ARE SO BOOTIFUL      

Anonymous said: You are a very beautiful human being. I like your face and personality very much.❤️                  

haha thank you guys! I don’t find myself that attractive of a person so the compliments helps keep me from being super self conscious :P thank you again <3 very much appreciated

Anonymous said: not sims related, but opinions on the most recent bts comeback?            

I don’t keep up with a lot of the boy group comebacks, but I listened to it and thought it was okay? I am pretty strictly into girl groups/female singers though so I’m not the best person to ask about it haha

Anonymous said: hi austin!! i just wanted to say i love your creations and you are one of the most amazing hair creators out there! but i had a quick question: will you ever put your "dean" hair model available for download? 

I don’t know if he is saved, but if he is I will try to put him for download!

Anonymous said: ok so i have a question if you dont mind, i feel like it's kind of stupid but how do you manage to move parts of the hair mesh in edit mode without the part you selected like 'seperating' from the part you didn't select and making a big ass gap in the mesh? like does that make sense? when i try to edit shit in edit mode i cant ever bc the faces separate from eachother when i try to translate a part of it or make it smaller, etc. if this makes sense, thank you if not im sorry im just stupid.            

REMOVE DOUBLES!!!! lmao that is the only way you will get anything done in edit mode. Proportional Edit Tool and Removing doubles from the entire mesh makes it a lot easier than sculpt mode. Make sure to split edges later though

@bishyouknowit​ said: I just recently went cc free and now I see your new hairs and I just wanna download all the hairs I had from you again and put them back in my game. I love your stuff so much!! ❤❤❤❤❤

aww thank you!! I am glad you like my cc <3 good luck staying cc free haha I could neverrrr

@bangtansabotage​ said: who's your loona bias?        

Kim Lip <3 then Yves, Jinsoul, and Hyunjin

Anonymous said: Absolutely love the content you're coming out with! You're so talented. 💝

thank you so much <3 glad you are enjoying my cc as much as I enjoy making it :P

Anonymous said: Is it wrong I forgot you were a guy?            

Yes.... LMAO egfdbv I am joking :P It is fine you forgot, it isn’t like I am posting a selfie everyday showing off my radiating masculinity sfdcfbvb which I don’t even have

Anonymous said: you’re very good 👌🏼

at what 👀👀 ****** ***?

Anonymous said: Do you put your things up on Simsdom? because I just found you Em hair on there            

I don’t :( but as long as they are linking to my post and not to the download link there isn’t much I can do.

Anonymous said: Columbus never set food in North America, he landed on various Caribbean islands. Also, Delaware was the first state.

take that up with my history teacher from like 2nd grade ok rwedffvb

Anonymous said: you're in virginia? I go to college in virginia too but i'm from missouri!! it's cool to think that one of my favorite content creators is so close to me! much love!!!!           

ooooo exciting!!! I go to Radford lmao it is like 30 minutes from Virginia Tech

Anonymous said: Yooo! You're from VA! Ive never met anyone online from VA except from me!

omg that is crazy you’ve never met anyone from here before haha, I have only met like one or two so makes sense I guess

[she-toadmask]

So the post I literally just reblogged I didn’t feel like rambling in the tags and making a mess for anyone looking for something else

(Fuck I went on forever under the cut this goes everywhere fast)

Before Sword and Shield came out, during their hype season, I had this really silly fic idea where 3 girls that were kind of versions of myself and also kind of not (like one of them was going to be Asian at one point which...I have no idea why it just was what I was planning, if I did it now they would be all as white as my indoor ass) would just suddenly be in Pokemon and it kind of went between being Galar and not being Galar

The youngest was kind of mostly an Ash expy, just really quick to do things and really energetic and excited; the oldest was just this very serious girl who was very strategic and stern and did not agree with the middle; the middle was just kind of...not exactly my depression but just way less into all of this and was kind of just following because she didn’t have anything else to do.

I thought of it again recently and thought about how their battle styles would be different if they were doing the gym circuit, though how the middle got in and what her starter would be (kind of thinking she would end up with a Blipbug somehow and I had another Pokemon in mind but I don’t remember what it was) because the young one would get Grookey because energy and loud, Hop would have Scorbunny because fire type like Leon, and the oldest would have Sobble and I eventually decided the other day when I was thinking about the idea again that it was because she had done copious amounts of research and decided that Inteleon had a battle style close to what she wanted to do. The young one would just go head-on into battles like Ash does because young and dumb, she would just be super enthusiastic and a little performative, and she would get team members just the way most people do, just encountering a Pokemon (or sometimes getting a fun interaction with energy n shit) and now they’re part of the team. The oldest would be super strategic and, instead of just ramming into the problem with the most force she could like the younger, would look at more detailed strategies. Less ‘spam your strongest move and then also do the anime style shit’ and more ‘strategic planning based on the species’ strengths and the opponent’s style and team’. She would look for strong Pokemon and have what she wants in mind before catching. The middle just...I haven’t really gotten her thing down yet? I know she just kind of catches Pokemon who seem to vibe with her on an emotional level (hence Blipbug, starts small and nervous and then ends up pretty dang cool, I think another was a female Kirlia who wanted to evolve into Gallade but couldn’t so she gave the Kirlia a necklace with an Everstone and helped Kirlia train to fight like a Gallade and there’s a bit of a theme with self-acceptance and growth but idk) and she more just kind of goes with the flow in battle and tries to just get the vibes n stuff. She’s the least likely to dynamax of the three, though if I were to watch the recent anime I might get a different idea. The story would be from the middle’s perspective (probably third but still focusing on her) just because she’s not as enthusiastic about all this as the others are and is just going along because it feels like that’s what she’s supposed to do. None of them really nickname their Pokemon probably, but the middle probably has unofficial nicknames like calling her Kirlia ‘kid’ a lot of the time, but that isn’t really a thing so much as I thought it would make sense.

I don’t know most of the stuff other than at the beginning the youngest rushes off to meet Leon and get her starter and the oldest is not too long after, but she doesn’t bother to wake the middle one up so the middle one doesn’t get a trio starter, hence the likely Blipbug partner. The youngest apologizes but is too excited to really talk too much, the oldest is just rude like ‘well you should have gotten up then.’ Also in the mines, the oldest and youngest split off to explore or look for Pokemon, but the middle just wants to get through and rest so she encounters Bede. There has to be an encounter later on when Kirlia should have long evolved if she was going to, and Bede is kind of mocking about it and the middle just wipes his team with Kirlia because that’s just a dick move. Also middle at some point when they hear that Bede beat Hop in a battle and just ruined his self-esteem, the youngest challenges him to a battle, the oldest probably is acting as ref, and it’s the middle one who goes to find Hop and check on him and stuff. If I were to actually write it, there would probably be some really good talk about living up to expectations and stuff and it doesn’t fix everything but it makes Hop feel less like he’s a disgrace to his brother.

There would also probably be more plot ish stuff? Like Rose actually doing bad shit? And I can tell you that the fact that the region is so linear can totally be spun as a control thing and I can pull back in that pre-release (and sometimes still in some content I’m certain) theory of Rose rigging matches so Leon would go undefeated. Otherwise we just get the gang calling him out on his bullshit with the 1000 years away, but both is good.

In the same vein of Pokemon fanfic but totally unrelated, I had some idea about a human from our world dropping into the Pokemon world and the thought about durability. Like in the anime we regularly see Team Rocket getting yeeted with the twinkle and they’re right as rain next we see them, and the number of times Ash has gotten shocked or burnt or whatever is absurd, so Pokemon world humans have to be way more durable than we are. I just had the thought that the human dropping in would realize that everyone is way more durable than they were and just try to avoid battles and stuff as much as they could because their body just can’t take the beatings that some trainers take. And like they would have to try and figure out how to dodge the fact that they’re always so distant from Pokemon when they aren’t calm and stuff. A tackle that might just take the breath out of a Pokemon world human could break one of their ribs. It was just a weird idea I had once.

Pokemon isekai again, I was thinking at one point that if I were to go into Pokemon I probably wouldn’t want to be a trainer or a professor, like I had these ideas of what I might do instead that was still really positive and involved Pokemon. The more wishful one was me being basically a crazy cat lady except with Eevee and the kids in the town would get them as starters. Aside from the Eevee themselves I would have a Flareon, an Espeon, an Umbreon, and probably a Leafeon. Flareon and Leafeon being the parents of most of the Eevee, and Espeon and Umbreon being accidental friendship evolutions before I started giving all the Eevee Everstone collars to prevent more accidents. The other was also kinda wishful but more feasible probably and was just like me being a berry farmer. (I just found my notes so I can give the Pokemon I wanted: Eevee because it’s my favorite Pokemon and it’s small and cute, a Tropius because neck fruit and also can reach berries and help harvest, a Flareon to cook berries apparently, and a Squirtle to help water and harvest.) Super wishful stuff and it still resonates, despite the fact that I’m even less active now than I was when I first thought of this stuff. I just want to have a nice peaceful life with nice Pokemon and be able to just be calm and happy. Yeah some evil team might try to destroy the world or something, but more often than not, someone comes along and helps out.

Unrelatedly my friend said the other day when we were talking that if we were to move in together in an apartment because we’re best friends and it’s cheaper to live together (also it wouldn’t be dating because even if she does turn out to be bi her girl type is buff girls and I am a twig) that she would cook and I would bake and just the idea of us living together and having stable jobs and having a cat if they were allowed and just...it sounds so nice and so many things if I think realistically like my current mental health struggles and the US being a dumpster fire and the pandemic and the US being fucking insane it just feels like it couldn’t happen and it’s just

(IT GETS REALLY BAD BELOW HERE JUST A WARNING SERIOUSLY ITS REALLY BAD)

I want to be happy but it feels like I can’t do that and I have so much shit piled up that I have to do and my medicine isn’t doing what it did at first so I guess my body got used to it like how people can get caffeine tolerance but ive had it less than a month so idk am i just fucking up that much it just fucking sucks i just wish i could stop having to worry and just live in a hole with my safe corners of the internet and my video games and a couple people online to talk to so i dont get too too lonely and just im not doing well and college is bad because my depresso is being super bad now and tonight i feel like im wasting my parents’ money because im just not doing what i need to do to exist as a student and it just feels like too much and i dont want to do any of it anymore

[a-plague-on-both-your-houses]

I'm just gonna rant for a bit

But, for once, it's a good rant. I wanted to write this down somewhere and since I only know like 2 ppl on Tumblr, I thought I'd write it here. It might get a bit long, sorry lol (pls don't waste your time reading this honestly). [rant starts now] I've been REALLY happy lately. Like really really happy. So, I'm going to write about all of the things that make me happy right now. Actually, I'm going to write about all of the things that make up the moments when I'm happiest bc it'll make me even happier for some reason. When I'm happiest, I'm found in my room with the door closed while everyone's asleep/out of the house. It's completely quiet. I'm sitting in front of my beautiful computer (that isn't actually mine rip) and watching some sort of kdrama or anime (basically some sort of cringy shit). I also enjoy watching the daily videos that my favorite youtubers make, they're such great people and they mean the world to me. Meanwhile, I'm eating noodles or cookies with pink lemonade and ice with the perfect texture for munching on. My phone is right next to me and on my phone are the many messages I've received from my loving friends that I've made online. They tell me about their day and their favorite things and we rant about the things we like and we tag each other in funny things and it's so beautiful. I also have messages from my irl friends, who are equally as beautiful (that's a complete lie but some ppl are exceptions (if you know me irl and you're reading this, you're probably one of those exceptions). My 3 friends that I see everyday make me very happy though, and I'd probably go insane if I didn't have them. We don't really hang out though, but I'm really okay with that. Seeing that they're doing well for the most part and knowing that I make some sort of impact on their lives everyday is enough for me. I receive notifications that my favorite kpop groups have tweeted a picture or a funny post, which makes me happy for some reason. I'm glad that they're happy and I enjoy feeding off of their success rip. My skin is clear from a face mask that I just removed (which I've learned to be an amazing feeling). I also feel healthy and happy after learning a new dance, which is hard but fun. My dog has recently learned that he can get me out of my room by scratching on my door, which I find very cute (even though the only times he actually does it is when he wants to go outside or he's trying to find my mom). Another thing that makes me happy is when my friends are livestreaming. It makes me feel like I'm their with them and we have amazing conversations. I especially like the livestreams of my artsy friends, i enjoy drawing at the same time as them and have them give me drawing tips and feedback. The kdrama that I'm currently watching makes me insanely happy. It's very cute and I hope it never ends, I think it's one of the best shows I've ever seen in my life. I'm also happy that I'm not in a relationship and no one is really depending on me. I used to feel so uncomfortable with the fact that I don't have a boyfriend or that I never hang out with my friends. I don't worry about either of those things bc I finally learned how to feel comfortable and happy with being completely alone. I think this is the biggest reason why I'm so happy. I'm trying to make myself more confident so I can try and be alone in public as well. I've never really made a New Years resolution before, but I think being more confident in public is a good one to make. The last thing that makes me happy is not having a stressful time at school. School has always been very stressful to me and to have that weight lifted this year is an incredibly feeling. Ive never ever been this happy before and I hope this feeling never ends. I know my life is going to get turned upside down when I move out and go off to college soon, but I hope that I stay just as happy as I am right now. I think I will though, now that I've gotten to know myself enough to know exactly how to make myself happy. I never really thought that I would get to this point and the funny thing was that I wasn't even trying to. I've been trying to for so long, and then it suddenly started happening on it's own. I can confidently say that I'm excited for what's yet to come

[pchoo]

ALL THE DAMN QUESTIONS YOU HOBO

i can’t beliEVE YOU…………….. here we go.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

gah ok….. CURRENTLY. Hallelujah - Panic at the Disco , Menswear - The 1975 , Good Ol Fashion Nightmare - Matt and Kim , Duele El Corazon - Enrique Iglesias , Welcome to My Life - Empire of the Sun , Ode To Sleep - Twenty one Pilots

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

simon pegg! my favorite actor!

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

it’s my textbook for my online class i don’t wanna get up to grab it

4: What do you think about most?

huh… recently? my dog

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Thanks Har, I got your email” its my group text for my job omg

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with! i couldn’t sleep naked. i’d be too cold

7: What’s your strangest talent?

i’m good at imitations?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls RULE boys DROOL

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

no but i had a secret admirer once

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

last week i was jammin out to some metallica 

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

i don’t like when people hold knives or scissors or anything sharp near me and i’m afraid of loud noises

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

pencil

13: What’s your religion?

raised christian but i’m personally agnostic

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

in the hot tub or riding my bike

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

BEHIND. BEHIND BEHIND BEHIND

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

no. this question can die. no.

17: What was the last lie you told?

uum….hm…. i didnt tell my mom i threw up twice last week? that’s… withholding information.. kind of like a lie, right?

18: Do you believe in karma?

eh.. kind of

19: What does your URL mean?

itS FROM HOMESTUCK. when john goes in the rocket and its like “PCHOOOO”

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness: i trust people too easilystrength: i………..i’m smart.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

gah i have a lot… currently though it’s tom holland (spiderman!!!!)

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope. i want to though!

23: How do you vent your anger?

rant to my friends usually. otherwise, i don’t

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

i used to collect cool tags back in the day. like from clothes and stuff? but i stopped doing that. now i collect post cards and shot glasses

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

uh.. neither?? i’m really shy usually.. but i guess if i had to pick i’d say phone. definitely

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

um… if i’m honest, no. but i realize that there’s a lot of things i want to be like. like.. traits i want to have? but the only thing standing in the way of that is myself, so. gotta work on that and stuff.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate…..anything that’s loud, really? umm….. specifically… motorcycles, though. yeah.a sound i love…. meows from cats!

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

hmm… “what if i don’t like my job in the future” or i guess like “what if i’m not happy in the future” i’m really afraid of not ending up where i want to end up

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES!!!!!!!!!! yes. to both. yep. yes. ive had experiences with both, so

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm: my phoneleft arm: my nightstand

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

..n.. nothing….? i smell nothing, omg

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

puerto rico. i don’t remember which part though

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

east!

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

uuuh… i like matty from the 1975 a lot. and eminem. and fetty wap. and brendan urie….. god

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

do what makes you happy

36: Define Art.

something you create?? yeah

37: Do you believe in luck?

yes. i don’t have any

38: What’s the weather like right now?

cold. night time. rainy

39: What time is it?

3:10am

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and nope

41: What was the last book you read?

wintergirls by laurie halse anderson i’ve read it like 10 times by now

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

so many………. dani, dan, denpy, denby, iza, kuni, deni, dop, dopanopi, dp, click, my last name, dime, daniel, danielson

44: What was the last film you saw?

ROGUE ONE. CRIES

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i split my big toe last year it hurt a lot

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no ):

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

god yes. overwatch, servamp, bsd, shameless

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

fuck if i know

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

nopes

50: Do you believe in magic?

i guess i’d like to, but i have a lot of doubts

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

no which is both a good and a bad thing

52: What is your astrological sign?

PISCES!!!!

53: Do you save money or spend it?

both

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

movie ticket…… no, actually it was popcorn

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

non non!

57: How many relationships have you had?

2.5

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope!

59: Where were you yesterday?

i went to breakfast with friends & then lunch with fam

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yeah a pair of pink flip flops that i actually don’t like but i left my flip flops at school when i came home and i needed a pair for florida

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

always

62: What’s your favourite animal?

PENGUIn

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

i…. uh………….. oh. i try and be funny @ them

64: Where is your best friend?

currently? connecticut

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oh god. i’m not tagging them but: faecakes, hextant, pitayas, jaspboner, & akaaschi

66: What is your heritage?

i’m german, french, italian, lithuanian, & irish

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

watching the road to el dorado with my cousin

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

satan rocks

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

yep

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

yeah!

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

fuCKING SAVE THE dOG?? FUCK U BOSS IDC

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i probably wouldn’t lmaob) take all my money and go somewhere tropicalc) yes & no i guess?? honestly i can’t answer that. i have no idea

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

The Rain - Calvin Harris

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

6305

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

umm.. communication, and going out and DOING THINGS! adventure!!!!

77: How can I win your heart?

be funny. that’s it. that’s all u need to nab me

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yes

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

what to do after college

80: What size shoes do you wear?

womens 7/8

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

for the record, i want to be cremated, but if i were to have a tombstone i’d want it to say “here lies dani, she’s having fun as a ghost, don’t worry”

82: What is your favourite word?

um……….. i like “blep” a lot. blep… like when someone just pokes their tongue out of their mouth like BLEP

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

fucking sweethearts why i don’t even like those

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“i was born ready”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

The Rain - Calvin Harris. i didn’t turn it off after i looked for the link sO

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

green!!!!!!!!

87: What is your current desktop picture?

ah its just a default mac one because for some reason whenever i restart my mac it just sets to this one no matter what i have the background as so…. i’m not bothering to change it anymore

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

uum.. man i don’t.. really know. i probably wouldn’t even be able to push the button, honestly. lmao

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

uh…… good one.. hm. “what’s your darkest secret?”

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

probably scream and cower in fear tbh….. then once i realized they’re just standing there i’d probably touch one and see if they did anything then?? talk to them maybe. chill

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

TO FLY!

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

my first imagine dragons concert when they played Tiptoe

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

when i did acting?? why did i do that

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

hmhm mhmh mhmh ok matty from the 1975

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

australia or bora bora

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

nope

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

nopes

98: Ever been on a plane?

yeah!

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

uuh hey guys whats up i’m tired and i’m about to sleep hope u guys r having a great 2017 ok byye