#that med compliance works???

[frnkiebby]

that stupid adorable fuckin smile pls~🎃

[wetslug]

.

[oozeyboozey-archive]

still feeling a bit low today , so i'm probably going to be pretty quiet for the most part. nothing personal to all my mutuals , i just really need to not feel like anything is expected of me.

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY. you of course are welcome to send in memes , and i will be working on stuff writing wise.

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

feeling a certain species of hopeless today tbh

the last couple weeks have been rough despite a few really good changes happening...but man today was. a lot. and i have a ton of shit to worry about next month too

[psychabolition]

do you have any thoughts or opinions you'd like to share on the concept of "recovery"? id be glad to see your take if you feel like talking about it

I think whats especially interesting about the concept of recovery is the moral obligation to 'recover'. The question is why do we feel like we need to pathologize certain behavior/feelings/desire? I think the answer to that is that it relieves shame to say that its a disease causing us to not be able to do something that is expected societally. Its easier to say that you have a disease that makes you do/think/feel 'bad/immoral things' instead of feeling like you ARE a bad person for thinking/feeling/doing 'bad/immoral things'.

But what if it isnt immoral to want to kill yourself? What if you arent a bad person for wanting and/or needing to use drugs? What if your inability to work/study/go to school isnt bad and wrong and makes you have less worth in our society? All of these things are literally morally neutral if you think about it, even if they arent coming from a 'disease' in your mind/brain.

Also, to take it a step further, what if we stop seperating us into our mind/brain (which is diseased and ill and dysfunctional and that wants to kill us/harm us) and our 'Real' Self that is Healthy and that wants to Live and Thrive? If we think about it, we ARE our minds and body and brain.

In a world where our struggles arent atomized, individualized and blamed onto us by calling our minds diseased instead of asking what real tangible societal/communal issues cause our real and justified distress, we could finally stop blaming ourselves (/our minds/brains) for the way we experience distress/pain/neurodiversity and the ways which we dont fit into this ill society. In a world where we are able to truly look after each other our needs will be centred and madness will not be seen as an individual failing but a greater incentive to solidify our communities.

Also I think the concept of recovery sucks in general. We deserve better than carceral systems seeking to "recover" our compliance and productivity in service of the state & capital. In my experience (as sb who was labelled with extremely stigmatizing labels like aspd/npd/...) if you dont embrace this concept of the 'recovery' that psychologists force onto you then you are denied your personhood+ the 'social absolution that embracing "recovery" offers.

I was told that 'I dont know whats good for me' in therapy. That my recovery 'goals' are something that Im too ill to set for myself (because what I want for myself doesnt align with what they/society expects of me). They tried to coerce me into taking/staying on meds that made it easier for them to deal with me (antipsychotics/mood stabilizers), not meds that actually made me feel better. I confused them to no end because I never suffered from the things that THEY said I suffer from (like for example hallucinations - to me they were a reaction to stress similiar to crying. I dont suffer from hallucinations in the same way others dont suffer from crying 😂). I personally am firmly anti-recovery. I dont plan on becoming more normal ,Im fine with being mad. Especially since I met people who actually value and like me for my neurodivergency/neurononconformity. Finding community made me feel so much better without having to literally change my whole personality (remember: Im diagnosed with personality disorders)

Thank you for your ask!

[cripplecharacters]

I have a character who has schizoaffective disorder and I wanted to check if the way I was introducing that to the reader was bad or not. I don’t want it to be any type of plot twist reveal or anything, so I planned to have the character’s disability shown to the reader initially by having them take their meds and briefly mention them in convo (the character is MC’s roommate, so it would be like an offhand joke / comment like ‘if i forget to take them after work tomorrow i give you permission to scold me this time’ or something similar). However, I understand that there’s stigma surrounding medication especially for mental health conditions, and I don’t want the readers to immediately make judgements based on stigmas, so should I focus the introduction on something else other than the pills or is it unlikely to cause a problem? (PS as a side note I just wanna add I don’t agree with the stigma and think medication is good in case it came off as though I thought meds were scary, I’ve just seen a lot of articles about stigma and medication and wanted to be careful)

I think that unfortunately there is a lot of stigma surrounding everything regarding mental health, especially something like schizoaffective, so there's no completely avoiding stigma. I think introducing the character while taking medication is a great idea and gives an introduction that allows medication and the character to be normalized while also introducing a part of the relationship with the main character and that they are able to joke about these types of things. I also love the idea of a character who struggles with medication and medication compliance (a real symptom I have due to my schizoaffective) not being demonized for this symptom.

This sounds really cool! -Mod Bert

[coryosmin]

i can’t stop thinking about modern!uni sej who wears reading glasses when he studies and sucking him off because you want his attention 💓💓 MY STOMACH IS CURRENTLY HAVING BUTTERFLIES

nsfw | mdni | modern au ofc

imagine sej sitting at his desk, studying for his biology midterm that he has coming up. he’s a med student so it’s vital that he gets good grades. but he’s been studying so much that he’s barely even given himself a chance to relax. you, being his beautiful and amazing significant other, have been very supportive. over the past week or so, you’ve made him food, reminded him when to get some sleep, etc.

but you were also feeling a little bit neglected sexually. you actually desperately wanted sejanus’s cock in your mouth. and as sej sat at his desk taking notes as he looked at the power point on his laptop, you couldn’t help but think about sucking his cock underneath the desk while he studied.

so you walked over to sej and crawled underneath his desk. he was so buried in his work that he didn’t even notice you until you put your hands on his thighs. he jumped, looking down at you. “holy shit,” he said, putting a hand on his heart. his glasses slid down his nose a little bit. “you scared me, love. what are you doing down there?”

you smirked up at your lovely boyfriend. “focus on your studies. i’m going to take care of you,” you said, running a hand over his bulge.

sejanus swallowed, pushing up his glasses with his finger. “take care of me how?” he asked, taking a deep breath.

“gonna suck you off,” you murmured, palming him through his sweatpants. you could feel him hardening underneath your touch. “go back to studying, sej.”

and so he did.

you smirked as you grabbed the hem of sejanus’s sweatpants, pulling them down gently to reveal his hard cock. and without hesitation, you licked the tip, swirling your tongue all over. sejanus let out a gasp followed by a tiny moan but otherwise kept his gaze fixated on his computer screen. you eased your mouth onto his cock, making sej moan.

you began bobbing your head up and down his length, hollowing your cheeks to add to the pleasure. sejanus couldn’t help but sit back, throwing his head back in pleasure. but as he did that, you took your head off his length, causing sejanus to whine and pout as he looked down at you. “do your work, sej,” you murmured up at him.

sejanus groaned, nodding his head in compliance as he leaned forward to pay attention to his biology work. you smirked before going back to sucking sejanus’s cock. you moved your head up and down, bringing a hand up to massage his balls as you did so. sejanus bucked his hips as he took notes. “fuck, baby, you’re making this so hard,” he groaned, trying to write down important information.

you hummed around his cock, sending vibrations down his length. “oh fuck,” he moaned out, his cock stiffening in your mouth. “gonna cum, baby,” he moaned, leaning back again as he brought a hand to your head. sejanus came with a loud moan, holding your head in place as he shot his load down your throat.

you swallowed all of it, sucking his cock through his orgasm. and when he finished, he let go of your head and you eased off of his cock. you smirked up at him. “i think you need to take a break,” you said hoarsely.

sejanus let out a breathless chuckle. “most definitely.”

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Hey! I've read some of your works and I gotta say I love your writing! I was wondering if you still write for Mafia?? I'd love some headcannons with Vito, Joe, Tommy, Sam and Paulie with a S/O who has ADHD? Or a sort of Hyperactivity? Thank you sm!!

A/N: Aww thank you so much! Of course I don’t minddddd but I don’t have much to write about Joe at the moment.

Warnings: I do not have ADHD so please note that my knowledge comes from the internet. If anything is a bit off, please respectfully let me know and I will have no problem altering something for you. :) I don’t mind writing these things as long as this can be an understanding environment.

Requests: always open

Masterlist

Tommy

He doesn’t really mind it much at all. Tommy puts up with Paulie all day, you’re a piece of cake in comparison.

He’s a more mellow and mature guy, he’s probably not going to be able to keep up with you as much but he loves you.

Tommy is great at redirecting you when you’re struggling to complete tasks or just forgetting about things.

He’d definitely leave behind small notes and reminders of things, and I can see him making time out of his day to check on you.

Actually just in general he’s great at helping you become more organized and productive throughout your day

Please—if you are a risk taker…stop😩 jk jk

But like this man is stressed out when you do dangerous things without any regard for your personal safety

Your excitedness is rather adorable to him, I can only see him becoming a bit frustrated if he is overwhelmed with things in his life. But he’s never viscous and will politely suggest you sit down with him.

Any hyperfixations you may have and want to rave about, go ahead. Actually he will sometimes surprise you with more of that item(s) when he comes home.I Imagine him sitting on the couch with a cigarette, watching you open up the gift from him. He’s so proud

Sometimes feels a bit bad when you’re super bored of everything. He doesn’t always have the energy or knowledge to keep you entertained and engaged.

If he finds you becoming increasingly more anxious or fidgety about things, he will try his best to comfort you.

“Look what I got you on my way home. You said that you love these things, right?”

Sam

AD-who? He doesn’t really understand it but he still loves you.

Doesn’t mind your hyperactiveness *that* much because he’s used to the younger guys on the job…but he has a bit less patience than Tommy.

Definitely a little more blunt when he’s getting a little annoyed with your behaviors but it’s not meant to shame you. It’s just Sam.

*panicks in public because he lost you in the busy city of Chicago*

If you take medication i can imagine him reminding you of it. If you dislike taking meds, he’ll try to make it bearable for you. Crushing up the pills for you and offering you a sweet kiss in exchange for your compliance.

He knows how much it sucks. Sam would gift you a very beautiful pill case so maybe you’ll be a bit more excited about the whole process.

Sam pretends he hates how much you talk about your hyperfixations but then turns around and tells the guys all about it.

Financial impulsiveness doesn’t bother him too much if it’s on some nack that’ll make you happy for a little while. But you should be mindful of making huge purchases and decisions without his guidance

If your AD-HD causes you to struggle with reading comprehension, complex subjects and other things, he’ll never belittle you. He might poke a little bit but ultimately, it’s sweet how vulnerable you are with him and how you go to him with help.

I don’t think he’s the best at handling mood swings or anxiety attacks but he will always offer his presence when available. He’s learned how to better engage in aggressive episodes and to try his best to de-escalate.

He usually will tell you stories about his funny adventures or just simply hold your hand while you’re anxious.

“Don’t worry about it, Doll. You can hold onto me if you need.”

Paulie

Best boi ™️

In all seriousness I think he’s pretty great at handling things with you. He’s not judgmental of your behaviors in the slightest.

He lives to hear all about your interests and rants, it makes him so happy to see you this excited about something. He’s the most engaging with it too.

Even though he’s older, he likes to move around and is very young at heart. So if you struggle with sitting still, it’s okay so does he. Whatever you want to do, he’s down for.

Maybe not the best at handling the more productive things like time management but

Your impulsive behaviors aren’t too bad. it’s okay he makes plenty of these mistakes.. he’ll try his best to fix them with you. If you struggle with speaking over him/cutting him off a lot, he’ll probably let you know and remind you that he likes to finish his thoughts first.

If you have no sense of danger this man is keeping a close eye on you. why are you walking in the middle of the busy street like that and then saying it’s fine because you’ve never been hit before. Please—😭😭SAVE THIS POOR MAN

Depression and mood swings are all too familiar with him. While he completely understands, it does make him sad to hear that his baby is going through the same thing as him. He might worry that it’s because you’re not happy with him, but after explaining he will understand it better.

He’ll try his absolute best to cheer you up! He’s not above making a complete full out of himself to just make you smile.

He hates making you take medication so he’s so lax about it but if he sees a decline in your overall health, he’ll enforce it better.

“I know, it really sucks baby. But you have to take it, it’ll help with things a little bit. I promise you, I’ll make it up to you.”

Vito

You being hyperactive isn’t usually too bad but he might be a peeved at times. He isn’t very energetic despite his young age, he’s a tired guy. So he’s not always able to keep up with you

Vito likes to set aside specific times for your rants/raves. He prefers it if you don’t immediately bombard him with everything as soon as he walks through the door but after dinner he’ll sit down to listen or play with you. On weekends he’ll take scrolls with you or go out to fun places so you can get some of that energy out.

I like to think he carries around little trinkets in his pockets and pulls them out to give you something to fidget with if you’re becoming overwhelmed.

Vito is great at offering you a routine and structure throughout your daily life. One of the perks of being ex-military.

He’s also fairly good at talking you out of impulsive behaviors and dealing with any agitated feelings.

Very stern about you putting yourself in danger and is constantly reminding you to take care of yourself while he’s gone.

He takes care of financial matters and planning for you. He understands that you struggle with these things so he takes the reins.

I headcanon that Vito takes medication for his medical issues caused by his time serving. It’s something very private that he doesn’t discuss with anyone but when he sees you stressed over taking them, he now will take his medication with you. Just to make you feel better and it’s now become an intimate experience.

He also keeps you out of triggering environments and situations, he won’t take you to any events where you’ll have trouble sitting for long periods of time. Vito is never embarrassed by you so don’t worry about that, he just wants to prioritize your needs first. If anyone does say anything disparaging about your behaviors and excessive talking, they’ve made a date with death. He’s very protective over you.

“Don’t ever speak about her like that ever again. She can talk about whatever the hell she wants for however long that she wants. —and if you still got a problem about it, you’ll take it up with me outside.”

[dreamingkatie]

Therapy 5

Part 4 is here. Look, buds, if you're not into micromanagement and food control and junk, this is where the story veers into your ick territory.

“What have you eaten today, Kate?” Sean says. He leans back in his chair and crosses one leg over the other. His pants are dark gray today. 

I hate him. I swallow.

“Mexican for lunch. I went out with some work friends.” 

“But what did you eat?” he asks, smiling.

“Chips and salsa. A taco. Rice, not all of it.”

“Are you feeling ok about eating?” he asks.

“Mostly, yes.”

He gestures for me to continue.

“I skip some meals. I’m binging sometimes. It’s not great. It’s not the worst it’s ever been.”

“Do you think it’s time for more treatment around that?”

“Oh, no. I’m alright,” I say.

“I’ve looked at a residential treatment facility. It’s in Charlotte, so not too far,” he says.

“I really don’t think it’s time for that. My weight is healthy,” I stammer. “I’m stable. All the meds…”

He folds his hands on the desk and leans forward. I look at his shoes, his striped socks. 

“Your med compliance is much better, absolutely. But you seem depressed. Your weight is – and I don’t want to overstep my bounds here – but if anything, Kate, your weight may be a little too healthy.” 

“That’s… I guess that’s true, but, I mean, the quarantine.” I try to smile but my eyes fill with tears.

“Ah,” he says, “The perfect excuse for not taking care of yourself at all.”

I stare at him. 

“I…”

“Let’s talk a little more about your purging, if you’re comfortable with that, Kate.”

“Okay, yeah. I haven’t done that in a long time, though. It’s such a miserable thing.”

“I’m sure that it is. Did your professor have you keep a food diary, or was it less formal?”

“Less formal. Sometimes I’d jot down notes, counting calories, but I wasn’t great at keeping up with that,” I say. “I remember most of what I eat.”

“I’d like you to start a daily diary,” he says. “I’ve consulted with a colleague and intermittent fasting might be the way to go.”

“Oh.”

“Clearer mind. Hard boundaries.”

“But…”

“I’m emailing you the app now,” he says, and he opens his laptop. “Sending login and password information. You enter everything, as and after you eat. Not at the end of the day. Not as an afterthought. Everything, as it’s happening. I’d like to monitor this in real time.”

“Oh, um, wait,” I say, “You’re accessing the account?”

He looks up, his head tilted. His forehead creases. 

“What would be the point of doing the diary if you have no accountability?” he asks.

“Well, I--”

“One eating window from noon until six. No calorie limit there. We’ll reassess on Thursday, and every week thereafter.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” I mumble.

“I think that you do understand, Kate,” he says, standing. “When we look back at the last ten years, when do we see stability? When do we see growth? Or something approximating happiness?”

“I don’t know,” I say, “I don’t know.”

“You do. And you’re going to do the food diary, precisely and accurately, and you’ll be here right on time in two days.”

The tears that have threatened for an hour spill over, finally. My hands are trembling, and I pull on the hem of my sweatshirt. 

“It’s ok to cry,” he says. “Why don’t you take the afternoon off, and you can go home, get your app all set up, and you can cry.”

I sob.

“Kate?”

“Yes, Sean. I will.”

“It’s 6:30. Window to eat is over,” he says. He holds out his hands and helps me up, his hands smoothing over my shoulders, squeezing. 

“But…”

“Nothing else today. Ok, sweetheart? No, look at me. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Wonderful,” he says. He pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and runs it over my face carefully, sopping up tears. Leading me to the door, he whispers low and close.

“No food. No scrolling. Maybe a book and some rest. And Kate – hang on, hang on. Let’s get your baseline weight before you go.” 

[foster-the-world]

Baby boy's school is hosting an immigrant rights info session. Its also on Zoom as I'm sure people are scared to go in person. Thankful for good people fighting the fight. No way our teachers will follow through with this new education executive order nonsense. Such garbage. I know the point is to scare people into compliance but the idea that they are going fire millions of government employees while at the same time enforce vague rules inside school buildings is bonkers.

We will find out if baby boy got into our first choice school today. I kind of forgot about it. Which I consider very good news. Its a sign I'm totally happy with the other option. Once the contract is signed I'm treating us to a night out. Maybe a magic show??

Rebel went to a friends bday party at Applebee's last night. They had off school for the Lunar New Year. I thought it was a bit of an odd idea but it turned out to be a really cute. All of the kids felt so grownup sitting at their own table. Free flowing drinks, which she loved. The little girls been in her class since prek. So thankful for sweet classmates. This weekend she's going to see Dogman for another friends bday party. This is her fourth bday party in the last two weeks. All of them invited Bee, also because we have a sweet community. I let her go to two and had her skip the other two. Rebel didn't want her to go. I can understand wanting your own thing. They've been bickering a lot so we've been trying to give them some space.

I know little girls get a rep for being mean but they can also be gushingly sweet. Bee convinced everyone in her class to celebrate her 1/3 Bday (HA! HA!). She comes home with a backpack full of "Birthday" cards. Each one was nicer then the last. Lots of "You are the best, You are amazing, You are powerful." Love it.

Baby boy's med trial stopped working. Such a bummer. Need to figure it out. He had two really great weeks. I finally felt like all of those people who were like "this (insert therapy, drug, treatment) changed our life." He was much more able to slow down and communicate with people, sit and eat a full meal, play games with his sisters AND he was still acting like his funny self. We weren't spending every second of every day telling him to stop doing one thing or another. We will figure it out. I just don't want it to be hard on him while we do.

[mojavejourneys]

I am sick and slightly loopy from cold meds but I am about to explain why the song Compliance by Muse actually fits really well with Shinra and why it could also be particularly centric to Sephiroth in particular.

The overarching theme of Compliance is the whole 'if you follow and comply with our demands then you needn't worry about anything again' which honestly fits in with Shinra's entire doctrine. Because as long as people follow Shinra and give everything they have to the company, they needn't worry about anything ever again.

Sell a strong enough spiel and you can hide all kinds of horrors under it, not just the whole thing about sucking the lifeblood of the planet up, but also the various war crimes that the company was committing in order to maintain that lifestyle.

We just need your compliance You will feel no pain anymore No more defiance Just give us your compliance

Is this not how Shinra is able to get them? And this doesn't just cover the employees who work with their deepest, darkest secrets. This also applies to the citizenry of Midgar that has come to rely on Shinra for their many needs. Give everything to Shinra and you needn't worry about anything anymore, right?

Now where it gets really interesting is this one lyric in particular.

Our toy soldier, you'll do the dirty work Stay loyal to us, we'll take away the hurt

This is the lyric that made me realise that this could apply to Sephiroth, but also to SOLDIER as a whole. And potentially the Turks too. Because as long as those who gave their lives to the company also gave their loyalty, they'd never need to worry about anything ever again, right?

After all, it is known that those who could compromise Shinra are met with the fate to be eliminated from the picture. As soon as someone questions the status quo, they're done for.

anyway I'm sure this made more sense in my head but enjoy my weird analysis

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

I really like Moonpaw’s design! And I’m hoping she is secretly a NightSun kit, with like a callback to the Three, which I think would be really cool. Probably not, but she is in my heart.

I quite like it as well! I actually have multiple au versions of her because nothing is even set in clay yet, let alone stone.

I personally love the versions of her where her absorbed twin is the "scary evil voice" (or just a bit more... "Mean", not afraid to call someone a dumbass), but also the version where she is the reincarnation of Bristlefrost. Sadly, that doesn't work with WCR...

I have the Meta Commentary/Cosmic Horror/Fandom heavy version of her as a NightSun baby, at the cost of Sunbeam's life. She wants to do lots of different things, and gets more into crafting than anything, but... She wants her dad to back off. Then the Moonpool gets involved... (This version is more canon compliant, no Bramble Strike happened and Crowfeather is closer to canon, that is to say a jackass) Meta Arc 9 AU

I've got the Continuation of ASC version of her as a FringeSpire baby, coming off the heels of the Skyclan Split and Gray Wing War. She's got a lot of pressure on her, and wants to one day be Leader. She has a fascination with the Moonpool when Waspstar takes her there. (She would be protags with Brightheart, who is oraganizing a way to fight the encroaching Twolegs with Cranberrynose and Skybranch) (this one is even funnier because I already had kits planned for them named Moonkit and Poolkit, born at the Moonpool) Moon + Bright Arc 9 AU

I've got the other version of that where she's a ShellFern baby. It's much more simple, where her big desire is to be a Mediator. (She is protag with Tawnypelt, but also with Breezepelt struggling with his chronic pain and new role) ShellFern Arc 9 AU

I've got a StormCherry version, where there's pressure from being Daisykin, which has been developing quite the legacy. She's a little Poppyfrost clone! She would be the little sister of Silverspots, Flywhisker and Snaptooth, and they are already CherryStorm babies. The other protags are Leafkit, daughter of Featherpelt and Toadstep, who is hard of hearing, and Daisy, who is determined to get to the bottom of why Twolegs have begun to get closer, leading to a very... Strange discovery. Daisykin Arc 9 AU.

And then, I think my favorite little version of her, is the most WCR compliant. A WhistleFrost child found at the Moonpool the day after it was purified. The voice she hears in her head is her Nana Curlfeather arguing with other Dark Forest spirits. Is this Moonpaw going to be a hero? Maybe, maybe not. Multi-Med Cat Arc 9 AU.

Any more canon compliance and I'd make her a corrupted Ashfur/Bristlefrost fusion through Thriftear calling Queen's Rights after her journey during Thriftear's Heart. The Bristlefrost reincarnation absorbed the Ashfur reincarnation to create Moonpaw! She would carry pieces of their memories/personalities inside her, struggling with that, and with her deep connection to the Moonpool that she is growing more and more obsessed with... Reincarnation Arc 9 AU

But... All in all, I'm glad we have such a unique looking Protagonist. I still don't trust the writers, but I'm gonna give them a single point for going absolutely BONKERS with her design in ways that would make 2011 fans whine and scream. Keep going, give these kitties weird features!

[capricandoitall]

ADHD Tip:

I have a "missed Rx" bottle. Any time I forget to take my meds (and realize it), I put the pills I should have taken into this bottle. I treat these like they don't exist, which is why I don't leave them in the original bottle (yay for adhd object impermanence). This helps prompt me to get my refills on time.

THIS IS NOW MY EMERGENCY STOCKPILE of medication - particularly for my Adderrall.

If I don't/can't get my refill in time, if there's a shortage, if there's some kind of weather event or other emergency that prevents me from accessing a refill, etc, I have this. For controlled substances prescriptions, there's no other way to have a backup that I know of.

I occasionally swap the "forgotten" pills out 1:1 with new pills so they don't expire - I try to do it when I pick up my new prescription.

----------------

The rest of this became my personal manifesto regarding access to ADHD stimulant medications. Sorry, not sorry.

Anyone with ADHD who is lucky enough to be medicated knows that suddenly being unmedicated can be life destroying. And that's not an exaggeration - life-threatening accidents go up, risk of being fired for ADHD-related performance issues go up, interpersonal/telationship conflicts increase, etc, not to mention the increase in anxiety and depression for many while it feels like the very structure of our lives is decaying, and it's ALL OUR FAULT.

So, needless to say, med compliance is really important for stability. But getting med refills can be a chronic problem for people with ADHD.

Most ADHD medications are controlled substances, so we need a new script every month. For various regulatory, legal and ethical reasons, the onus is on the patient to initiate a refill with their doctor rather than the doctor's office being able to provide any kind of proactive support. In a lot of cases, we need an appointment every month, and at a minimum we have to remember to contact our prescriber to ask them for the refill. It's hard to remember to do that, especially to do it in advance so that they can submit the refill in time so we do not miss days. It's particularly hard to do it in advance vbecause we can't request the refill too soon because they're on guard to ensure we only have exactly the number of pills we need and not a single one more. Because we all must be abusing our medication.

In addition, pharmacists can only fill our new prescription the date they show we will run out based on the pick-up date and not a minute earlier. Sometimes a day in advance if we're lucky. Because, again, thw system assumes we must be abusing these medications.

To say the least, the timing of getting a refill is very exacting - for people who literally struggle with exactly this kind of challenge.

On top of all of this, there have been amphetamine supply shortages over the last few years. This is because the DEA restricts the amphetamine market for pharmaceutical companies, but does it in a way that leads to hoarding, exporting, and other market inefficiencies. The DEA will determine that there's enough of the ingredient available to meet patient demands, and won't give pharmaceutical companies additional allotments, even though the companies actually manufacturing the medications don't have the ingredient they need to meet demand. While this has improved since The Year We All Ran out of Pills, the issue is chronic and systemic so shortages still pop up occasionally.

Thus, even if we do everything perfectly to get the prescription, our pharmacy may not be able to fill it when it's time. This can often happen the day before we're going to run out (see above re timing of refills), often the evening before, in fact, because a large number of folks pick up their meds after work.

This then means people with executive dysfunction need to call around for a pharmacy with available pills, and we have to do it RIGHT AWAY because we are going to run out of pills today/tomorrow. Quite often, though, we have to do this while unmedicated, because in the moment we may not have time for the process (and it takes time - I've spent an hour on the phone with pharmacies before) or the pharmacies may not be open. And that assumes we're lucky enough to have access to an alternate pharmacy. Then, even if/when we can find a pharmacy that can help, there's another hurdle: pharmacies often can't transfer prescriptions for controlled substances (even from store to store within the same chain/company), so now we have to coordinate getting a NEW refill from our doctor (and don't get me started on the mess that is partial refills of controlled substances). Fingers crossed that it's our doctor's office's business hours (it never is).

Because forgeting tasks and difficulty with motivation due to executive disfunction are KEY SYMPTOMS of ADHD, this can trigger a (sometimes long) period of without medication, which can be dangerous (see above). AND SO, I have my baby emergency stockpile of pills.

There's not a lot of sympathy for the problems this causes for people with ADHD, which means getting support through this process is challenging. In fact, there's still a lot of stigma. I've personally been treated with suspicion and doubt by a pharmacy assistant while panic-crying because I couldn't get a refill. I've heard comments about how people trying to get refills act like drug addicts. I have thick skin and a supportive community, so those experiences didn't stop me from pushing for what i needed, but I know there are people who would give up after an encounter like that.

There is no political will to improve the system. In fact, there's more political will behind increasing restrictions on and further limiting access to stimulant medications. This comes from the narratives that 1) ADHD isn't real ("everyone forgets things" "everyone gets distracted" "it's trendy to have adhd" "stop making excuses"), 2) ADHD is overdiagnosed and/or overmedicated ("you should just try harder" "why are you so lazy" "have you tried using a planner" "o knew someone who..."), and 3) ADHD medications are being widely abused recreationally.

During the pandemic, the FDA started allowing doctors to prescribe controlled substances via telemedicine, which has increased access to treatment and improved patient ability to actually attend appointments (from decreased time commitment, lack of need for transportation, lack of need for much advance planning/remebering, etc). Add to this the increase in adult diagnoses, particularly for women who went undiagnosed/untreated as a result of systemic social issues when we were children, and the result is a general and not insignificant increase in patients being effectively treated for ADHD, including being prescribed ADHD medication. However, if you doubt ADHD or the effectiveness/importance of medication in treating ADHD to begin with, the increase in stimulant prescriptions is an indication of drug abuse, over diagnosis and over medication, NOT better access to care and decrease in missed diagnoses due to bias. Nevermind pretty solid science around the prevalence of untreated ADHD, medication being the single most effective and life-improving treatment for ADHD, and the very reasonable conclusion that telemedicine improved both access to healthcare as well as ADHD patient appointment attendance.

Which is to say, the FDA keeps pushing to revive the requirement for in person appointments in order to received prescriptions for controlled substances, like stimulants.

[oldmannapping]

I should probably put a disclaimer somewhere on my page that says:

I’ve loved Batman and assorted fandoms for 25+ years.

When I was 10, before I ever heard of fanfic, I wrote a story on my dad’s work laptop which was literally just Dick Grayson Robin getting hurt for 7 incoherent pages and my tastes haven’t really evolved.

However:

I’ve read one (1) actual comic cover to cover, which was a Tim Drake-centric Robin one back in like 2001.

I’ve read many out of context comic panels posted online.

I’ve read perhaps 17,000 fanfics (*not an actual estimation, I’m hungover and not going to do actual math) across the Batman/Nightwing/TT/YJ/Robin/Red Robin/Red Hood etc etc fandoms since the year 2000.

I’ve seen a few of the animated movies but only once each and not many of them.

I’ve seen none of the tv shows except 1960s Batman and a few eps of BTAS in 1995.

I’ve dipped in and out of the fandom for years.

I don’t consider fandom my life, it’s more of a fun hyperfixation that distracts me from daily anxieties.

Since going on meds for OCD, I don’t care as much about strict canon compliance - I think this is also because I don’t know canon very well.

If I knew canon, I’d probably be more of a stickler for accuracy because i don’t like OOC any more than you do.

But I don’t. So my page is a happy ignorant mess.

Pls take all of my blatherings with a boulder-sized grain of salt.

They’re for fun, not accuracy.

If I annoy the crap out of you because my stuff isn’t comic-canon-compliant, soz. You’re right, you’re a better fan than me. But I’m happy with the amount of space fandom takes up in my life and don’t have the capacity to do homework for it.

Love y’all. Xoxo

[damnedifivoodoo]

vent post, feel free to ignore

my chiropractor who ive known longer than my closest friends, who has become a dear family friend in her own right, is retiring. I have my last appointment tomorrow and I'm bad with times of transition

no thanksgiving plans this year because the side of the family we used to visit stopped inviting us when that uncle passed, and mom and i are too unwell to cook

there was a sudden, unexpected death on my mothers side of the family

five months have passed and im no closer to answers about my mystery medical episode, and i feel the clock counting down to the point they write me off as a hypochondriac and stop searching

trying not to be swallowed with dread because every intrinsic part of me is going to come under fire in the new political landscape. struggling to reckon with the fact that at least four of the people closest to me voted in favor of an administration that will further disenfranchise me and everyone like me. sick every time they say they love me, because they only know the manicured version of me i present to them. i have known for a long time it is not safe or welcome to let them know the whole of me. even more sick that i have no choice but to minimize myself because i depend on them to even keep myself alive

fully on edge with the societal shift back to cruel shock-based humor, obsession with thinness and a resurgence of that pervasive, in-your-face, bully-you-into-compliance brand of american christianity that is reopening all my church wounds on a daily basis

spent 30 minutes crying while combing mats out of my hair because ive been too unwell mentally and physically to care for it or myself in the most basic of ways

too afraid to go back to therapy or seek treatment for this downward spiral because incoming government officials think neurodivergence and depression meds are an addiction worth sending someone to work farms over, and i cant afford the discrimination diagnoses would open me up to, medically or otherwise

too unwell and lacking the will, motivation and physical and mental capacity to do any sort of community building or organizing that might reduce the overwhelm of anxiety and existential horror.

In awe of the way i continually think im at my worst only to get buried even deeper. clinging desperately with everything i have to one last flickering mote of hope. i want joy. i want peace. i want to die. i want to live. i am so tired.

[lascapigliata]

.

however new shrink wants to put me on abilify if i decide to go for it. and that’s fine in theory but i’m so nervous about the weight gain bc i know it happens and i’ll have to like actually start working out to compensate and i know like in theory weight shouldn’t matter etc except i still don’t want to yk. for better or mostly worse i’m finally like not unhappy with my body 100% of the time and obviously it’s bad that it’s connected to just not eating enough but meanwhile it’s nice to not be upset when i look in a mirror on occasion. i don’t want my fucking weight obsessed family to start making comments either. and she said abilify has the least effect of all the antipsychotics but then someone on reddit said they took it and gained like a hundred pounds and then had to go on ozempic to get back down and like ok so i can go on it then get off it if i’m unhappy sure but like. i don’t want to go on ozempic! i know i need to improve my diet anyway but i don’t want to eat salads nonstop and do what my m*m does and like restrict what i eat until i’m absolutely fucking miserable! it won’t work anyway! i don’t want to have to become a gym rat! that won’t happen either! losing 100lb is not easy!!!!

like she also thinks my lithium dose is way too low, i didn’t realize it was like the intro dose, and bc she is the first doctor ever to actually take me seriously when i say i have compliance issues she’s worried that since it requires blood monitoring that it might not be a good idea. but it is easier to stick to actually taking my meds than to lose a ton of weight. idk if they do the same thing though. like if going up on lithium and hoping nausea goes away will curb hypo there are apparently other meds good for depression which don’t have the same risk??

i feel so like shitty about this politically bc i really know i shouldn’t care about weight! but i have high blood pressure and diabetes in my family and i don’t want to deal with either of those in my mid thirties if i don’t have to!!! i also don’t want to have to buy all new clothes or toss mine. or whatever. i was feeling so good coming out of the appt and now i’m feeling extremely bad