#that lore literally destroyed me
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CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER (bark), THRILLER (bark) NIGHT
Usopp's outfit is so funny for reals
He got the whole squad laughing
Luffy enablers at it again.... (Robin.... I know.....)
The humor panels so far have been so good!!! God this arc is so funny
HE SAID IT‼️‼️
They look like birds 😭😭
It's just too good... luffy taking cerberus and zombies what can't he do
It's just banger after banger what can I say
Franky feeling for other people because of his guilt complex and sanji lying through his teeth and pulling out the women excuse to seem unaffected... yeah
Look at them.... look how they ate
Omg joyboy reference?? (No)
Sanji is rubbing off on usopp.... also chopper noticing that is sogeking's weapon akdhaksjak
ANOTHER SLAY!!!!!
Their priorities: I'm not strong enough, there isn't enough food, and nami isn't here
Franky going from wanting to kill brook for his jokes to making a joke like his after he hears his backstory... exactly (Robin was already enabling him before the backstory even fdagjsfha)
Sanji is altering his body and actually being on fire to communicate to us how fucking mad he is..... I need more of him going insane I do I do
My god what is he doing ALDJALAJALA
AHSAHAHQHAH THEY ARE THE SAME!!! naaah sanji wouldn't force a woman to be his wife
You cant see me but I am nodding my head in agreement over and over
You don't understand he altered his body to communicate to us how mad he is. He inploded himself and then reconstituted again. Those germa 66 genes are insane
You tell em usopp!!!! The first of many girls you've scared into defeat!!! Akdjqknql
Zoro zombie regressed to not trusting robin akdjaks he's still in there
ROBI-CHO SUPLEX??? HELL YEAAAAAH
There is zosa- [GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]
Super frapper gong.... he is doing combo shots with frobin... omg.... parents....
Everything is so fun I'm having such a good time reading.... and then zosan angst like damn I am being fed well here
#in the anime the guys didn't say they wanted to die aldjlajala for the kids luffy just wants to turn into a clam#thriller bark is so funny.... 'worst arc' my ass.... it's funny as hell and then we get zosan angst. best thing ever#same with skypiea but there we got really nice relationships betwen characters and nolan x calgara homoeroticism for the ages#and LORE for the ages. not like the kuma incident won't be talked about in the history books but yeah#everyone calling absalom perv salom... yeah#sanji in that fucking penguin never gets old.... also HELLO LOLA#moira fought against kaido and lost akdjsksnks is that why he became a warlord? just like whitebeard defeated crocodile?? out of spite??#also what is the land of ice where moira got oars? he also mentioned it before too... i thot he was referring to ryuma so it was wano but n#the legend of the continent puller who built a nation of villains.... okay okay oars....#oars was killed 500 years ago.... ✍️✍️ this somehow feels important bc of its closeness to the void century etc#zombie luffy oars wanting sanjis food.... 🚬🚬🚬 of course.....#oars luffy maintaining his dream... yeah yeah. also namis outfits for this arc are so sickening.... i miss them already#the zombie generals being at absalom's wedding... thats so funny..#luffy oars is so funny aldjslsn just making himself a hat and steering his giant ship... of course#you guys think they are going to make sanji mad about the clear clear fruit in the opla or completely ignore it bc his reasoning is bad#like it makes sense with the wci backstory it does but that would be spoilers lmao. so its either he wants to peep on women or nothing#i love the greek chorus of the two zombies telling the audience how they are both as bad in that regard. amazing#did ryuma use french for his attack.... there is zosan everywhere for tho-[GUNSHOTS]#zombie ryuma's design is also cool as hell.... his blood is literally fire.... come on now....#also zoro says he wants to act like this fight didnt happen... is that why he says fuck all in wano to hiyori? damn. he said i put shame#in you and your country but i will keep it quiet bc you gave me a cool sword and fight and i am actually so honorable. thats him yeah...#zombie zoro and sanji remaining tfait being that they hate (love fighting) each other... there is zosa-[GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]#i forgot how much oars destroyed them... after enies lobby they seem untouchable but without their captain there... the gears are turning..#also btw i cannot believe im gonna get an answer about why the skypieans and the shandians have wings. thats insane#i am enjoying luffy oars so much it is so fun. trying to enjoy it bc i know i won't be laughing anymore once sabaody kicks in.... fuck me..#usopp and franky wanting to wait for luffy to beat oars down but zoro and sanji know... and they will KNOW soon enough....#i forgor kuma asked about ace to nami... what is going on. kuma coming from the warlord meeting too.... did he want to warn him??#he wanted to inform moria about balckbeard becoming a warlord omg here we go.... also moria being racist towards kuma hello???#and he strictly follows the government.... until here bc he lets luffy go.... christ.... he asks about ace bc he knew what blackbeard did..#reading one piece
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i'm for sure not finishing veilguard. i set it down a while and tried again and ahh i'm just not enjoying it. the characters dont have a depth im looking for.. the insertion of a writer's white guilt onto the elves that are based on real life indigenous people and have been in-games enslaved and treated horrifically and are the ones who don't have "real" gods that are actually just blighted tyrants. everything with taash and the qunari. the gameplay was fun for a while but then it made my hand so numb i couldnt do anything for a week. the last straw was taash's gender talk that suddenly turned into picking a cultural identity for them to align with out of nowhere and then soon after learning that Another antagonist is of course an elf. starting to feel like their implying that all elves become evil when given power jfc. i think i'm actually done with it it started making me feel gross and bored. i don't care if you enjoy it or not, everyone's got a different threshold it just crossed mine.
#i wish i'd told my brother to not get it for me but he was so excited to get me a gift. i would have rather pirated it#i wanted to be hopeful they'd have made more strides since dai since it had seemed to be getting better ish.#but the bioware team clearly don't think mulicultural people are 'true to themselves' or that arab people are well. People.#or that anyone could enjoy and align with the religion that is heavily modeled after islam. ofc it's just stifling and constraining right.#everyone who follows it is evil and awful and the fucking. blighted qunari turning into literal giant monsters when nobody else is affected#like that. what the Fuck.#how did it get More racist than dragon age 2.#anyway. long chatter short i think my final personal onion is that i do not like the game and i kind of wish it didnt exist. thumbs up#there's cool concepts in there but.. the racism got Worse. the established lore was tossed out the window. the music is forgettable.#the pacing is off. the therapy talk gets annoying after a while. my favorite things are: davrin and assan. davrin is so funny also his bo#also neve. i love neve i wish her story was more..... More. i like that she got upset at her city being destroyed even though she didnt#want to blame my character she couldnt help herself from blaming him. mixed feelings on how gender is incorporated. could be better but it'#good for a triple a game. wish they used the established in-universe terms for being trans but eh.#i wish the world wasn't so sanititized down. it feels like a desire for everything to be 'good' and perfect but it makes it feel hollow#and like a kind of immature unwillingness to tackle hard subjects but well. that's a running theme of the lead writer of this game lmao
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as a media psychology researcher 85% of my job is figuring out the most horrifically academic way to say "you idiots wouldn't last a day on tumblr"
#my job really is turning band lore into observations that are abstract enough that we can do math about it#ADT my beloathed </3#time for me to rant now#you have no idea how frustrating it is for the general consensus in your field of research to be so completely off-base#sometimes the way I have to talk to get other researchers to listen to me makes me feel like I'm a traitor to my own beliefs#like yes. in a -very very basic- sense we do tend to like nice people who do good things and dislike mean people who do bad things#there are traceable social-evolutionary reasons for that#but its SOOOOOOOOOO reductive. especially when it comes to fiction (and it's not even limited to that!)#my entire dissertation is probably going to sum up like 'hey uhhh maybe sometimes people like characters because they're INTERESTING'#(cue 'what do you mean 'interesting'?')#and you'd think that's so fucking obvious (it is) but it will take me literal non-metaporical -years- of research to get that point across#when am I ever going to get further down my hit list. I also need to set aside time to destroy the concept of moral purity#and don't even get me STARTED on character identification. the measures for parasocial shit are so broken we might as well just start over#don't get me wrong I love my job. I get paid your hard earned tax dollars to do gay science#but sometimes I want to scream
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why does consuming content destroy me. i am so bad at this. why can't i just read books and play video games like a normal person
#e#i'm sorry for this but i never make posts with essays in the tags so bear with me for once#every time i find a new Thing it eats me alive until i can forget about it#after i finished earthbound i cried for 2 days straight. u think i am exaggerating but i am not... it was scary. i could not stop bawling#when i read the locked tomb series i was literally emotionally destroyed for a whole ass month#while i had the books out from the library i just kept reading them. and rereading them. and rereading them#and i read really fast so i probably read each book like 5 times at least. and the emotional parts i read over dozens of times#anyway this time my Thing is lore olympus. i read all of lore olympus in two days and now i don't know what to do with myself#(ok to be fair i was caught up in like 2021 but it's been a while so i had to start from the beginning again)#side note: i can't wait for alecto to come out so i can be completely destroyed for the rest of my life
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this isnt the account for this i KNOW but jjk just ended and it was the worst thing ive ever read oh my daysssss
#my god bro#IT ENDED THE EAY IT STARTED. THERE WAS NO DEVELOPMENT AT ALLLLLL#it literally ended w sukunas finger in that same shrine box thingy....some dumb mf is gonna eat that thing again and make jjk2#electric boogaloo#1. why the kenjaku/geto tease at the end of the previous chapter. what even was the point of that it wasnt even MENTIONED#2. we got a scene with megumi burying his sister which understandable...BUT NOT ONE FOR GOJO????#NO OFFENSE BUT TSUMIKI APPEARED TWICE LIKE IF SHE CAN GET A BURIAL SO CAN GOJO#3. dont get me started on gojo bro ive never seen such a mishandling of a character in my life#all im gonna say is that 2 page flashback of him being like 'everyones gonna forget me once im not the strongest anymore'...and he was RIGH#HE WAS RIGHT HE DIDNT GET A BURIAL OR ANYTHING HE GOT HIS GODDAMN BODY POSSESSED JUST FOR NOTHING#HIS BRAIN IS WHO KNOWS WHERE#the ones who truly won were the sukuna gojo shippers bc one of the last things gojo said was 'everyones going to forget me'#and sukuna said 'ill never forget you for as long as i live'...sukuna TECHNICALLY isnt dead so hes fr the only one honoring gojo#3. i just wish we got some more worldbuilding bc for the last couple chapters theyve been mentioning a whole bunch of clans#and trying to explain their significance??? like kusakabe becoming the leader of the simple domain clan#they talked about that for a whole damn chapter WHAT SIGNIFICANCE DOES THAT HAVE??? EVERYONES BEEN USING A SIMPLE DOMAIN WYMMMMMMM#and then yuta and todo are like kinda cousins and are in the same clan but again we never got introduced to them before IT MEANS NOTHINGGGG#AND THIS WAS EVEN AN ISSUE IN THE SUKUNA FIGHT!!! like they talked about all these generals and clans he defeated but we never saw them#so it literally means nothing!!! just give us a little piece of heian era lore please please please#oh my god and them just pretending everythings fine and dandy bc sukuna is sealed again#youre telling me japan had shibuya and shinjuku absoltely destroyed in the span on 2 months and we just never got#any insight about how the country recovered??? or whats going on AFTER sukuna was defeated???#the closest thing we got was the american soldiers coming to japan to defeat some spirits but thats literally it
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& btw I’ve lost about a week of my life to thinking about this egg. Hi
#NOT tagging as art#me#blood#(fake he’s fine)#(considered drawing egg yolk all over the floor but decided against it)#watched the epilogue last Sunday and then Friday we had a blackout and I’ve literally been talking about Maggie almost constantly since#might throw up some conspiracy theory boards to summarize idk#kirby#magolor#(removing from main tags cause I’m a bit anxious it might be misconstrued as hate!)#(for the actual original context: I said this when talking about how all of my recent discussion has been completely overtaken by Kirby#lore and a friend replied to it with ‘Kit standing over a mangled corpse’ and I was like yeah that’s funny. I should draw that#Two weeks ago I was like ‘yeah Magolor is the type of character I would really like but in practice I’m not like super into him!���#hard cut to a week later. My dm’s with my fiancé: destroyed. My channel in my friends’ server: annihilated. Mental illness +30% this quarter#I was listening to Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds and had the though ‘oh hey this would make a good Magolor song!’#The babygirlification process has started and I fear it may be irreversible.#like I’m enjoying myself but also I pulled three all-nighters in four days and I really need to speed up my wedding prep agh)
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If they make a Halo reboot I will actually go nuclear
EDIT: just rumours! So we can breathe easy
#hearing talk around and all I can say is NO :)#why would you throw away an entire universe and story like that not to mention spit in the face of literally everyone#if this ever happens I will literally walk out of this series and never look at it again#don’t you fuckin destroy everything that’s been built for your goddam profits we are already struggling w bullshit management#don’t you throw out all that goddam lore and worldbuilding don’t you disney Star Wars me I swear to god#also lol this would enrage everyone I’m pretty sure like MAN#dread talks#this is maybe overreacting to a possibility that may never happen BUT STILL I GOTTA SAY IT#FUCK REBOOTS#remasters/overhauls of games are not the same tahts just making an old game prettier/updated
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¨
#lol i see the jealous caelus art and it's too cute#but i can see why he would be ^^;#the danheng/trl tag on ao3 is still ahead of the danheng/jingyuan tag but jingheng has gained a lot#it used to be like 1/3 of dancae but now it's almost half it's getting a lot of new content#i feel bad for caelus he's starting to not get written about as much the trl in general i mean#like the jingheng tag is 418 and jingcae is stalled at 47 SO MUCH FEWER :(#and i bet we'll see a time where the jingheng tag exceeds the danheng/trl one#going back in old bookmarks there used to be SO much better fic quality for dancae#but i hate to say it most of the better writers i think have gone on to liking danheng with others :/#which is kind of sad bc i love that pairing so much but there's just not that much fic happening and it's not as good as it used to be#and ofc no one ever wrote my ot3#i'm glad for the occasional art but dang i wish there was stuff to read#ugh i just read stats for a pairing i dislike and the numbers piss me off and make me sad#bc it's just like the pairing i hated when i was into vtrn where it's not based out of anything not out of chemistry or interactions#just shit fan hcs that somehow explode even though it's based on literally nothing actually real in story or lore#wow and i think ship i dislike has just destroyed the jingren tag like there's almost nothing for it anymore and there used to be so much#i really dislike how x ship has become the klnc of sr :/#anyway it's just sad that caelus gets no love from fans in the writing department :/
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thinking gabriel thoughts (again)
#the guy who cut down minos without a second thought is the same guy who was the only angel to care about the ferrymen. fucking dies#his terminal entry literally says hes popular in heaven because of his radiant personality. he does nothing but insult v1 in 3-2#get you a man who can do both#minos swears revenge on him while the ferryman literally worships him.#the skeleton in 1-4 who is worshipping him even after their life is long gone and the mural in 4-3 with traitor written over it#he looms over the narrative even when hes not there#he encourages even those in hell to Be Good and Have Faith but destroyed minos for trying to make a better life#different characters have extremely different views of him and all of them make sense!#heaven's specialest little boy can be hell's worst nightmare. as a treat#i also think about minos a lot by extension#i was just chilling on the wiki when i got hit with the 'he thought it unreasonable that people were punished for loving' and cried#like even as someone whos aroallo. it got to me!#it also raises the question of how much homosexuality is part of that. to me#is heaven ultrakill homophobic. discuss#i mean they do have Major bisexual lighting. in lust.#yeah sure theyre in hell hell is eternal punishment but he really was just. trying to make a peaceful existence#also the sisyphean insurrectionist lore fucked me up a little#ultrakill on the surface looks so simple but then you open up the wiki and its 'yeah the ferrymen tore their own flesh off their bones'#'king minos attempted to make a peaceful civilization in the lust layer and was killed for it but he lingered bc hes op'#'yeah actually the sisyphean insurrectionists are like that because the angels took away everything they didnt need for the punishment'#and you just have to live with that information now. you wont go back to blissful ignorance. you cant.#or thats just on me for taking lore too seriously. v1 doesnt care
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problem with the elder scrolls lore is most of it is definitively not canon. even "canon" source materials are usually biased as all hell and we all pick and choose what non-canon materials we accept
but i need dudes that believe michael kirkbride's star wars comic book fanfiction is canon to not talk to me we do not believe any of the same fundamental things we are speaking different languages
no i do not believe the story where the world is destroyed in a disaster by a giant robot and ppl go and live on the moon is canon in my high fantasy story about elves. yes i dislike it bc there is an entire plot beat where a bunch of gods turn into literal superheroes. we will never agree i need you to not speak to me ever again. my theories are not wrong kirkbride literally said this is open source and to not take everything he says as canon gospel so i don’t. you on the other hand need to internalize that message
#tesblr#tes lore#morrowind#i gues#i just dont like c0da it feels like too much of a departure from the genre#and also it literally crushes me inside to hear that the world i love so much is destroyed and now ppl are living on a soulless moon#that so many races and places are just. gone and most ppl dont even remember where they came from#i cannot think of a worse ending to a place i love#a more depressing conclusion#id rather alduin just fucking eat everything again#which is what he does in my brain
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and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
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The character in question that I've had a crush on since I was 9, by the way
#i haven't even played worl.d of war.craft since i was 16#but nel.tharion/death.wing is still on my mind#9 year old me was really like “i could fix him”#his VOICE though....#apparently some more recent stuff kinda ignored the fact that the reason he went Evil(TM)#was that he was basically manipulated over thousands of years and effectively mind controlled by beings known to make people act like#the opposite to how they usually are#and instead bliz.zard have decided to destroy their own writing of a tragic character by going “actually he was kinda bad the whole time”#LIKE WHAT. HE LITERALLY WASN'T. GUY HELPED SAVED ALL THE PROTO-DRAGONS FROM GETTING EATEN AND THEN WAS A PROTECTOR OF THE LAND FOR MILLENNIA#i don't get why they couldn't still acknowledge that yes he was an antagonist while also still keeping his ACTUAL LORE#anyway i'm thinking back to my old sort of “what if” style of thoughts with nel#if i do put him on The Official F/O List(TM) then it'll be that au version in my head#like an au where he doesn't have to be killed because he does manage to break away from the control of the old g.ods#and is then left having to cope with the fact that he's not really had full control of himself for who knows how long. centuries or more#anyway for some clarification i didn't start playing that game when i was 9 but i did however watch my dad play it. a lot.#and i'd always be asking him about the dragons (especially nel.tharion/death.wing. i was a little obsessed.)#so like. yeah that dragon was one of my first fictional crushes#(this is all official artwork by the way)#thorn talks#crush tag
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not gonna respond to anything past the initial post bc its A Lot, but anyways. Yesss. I too have so many thoughts about them
"Sorry that being a normal person means I won't get to play with you anymore."
Except Kusuo was never a truly normal person and never could be. And that's why Kuusuke likes Kusuo. He likes him for who he is, the freakish, "monstrous being" that he is. As much Kuusuke has always resented Kusuo, he's also admired him. That's why all of Kusuo's friends/classmates like him, too. He's not ordinary at all, in all of the right ways. They are drawn to him because of the extraordinary kindness and character he has. It shines through, no matter how much he pretends.
Kusuo trying to become "normal" is the ultimate denial of himself. He wants to be average, like everyone else. but to be that would get rid of so much that makes him him. In the end, Saiki k manga says Kusuo's powers are just another inherent part of him. that's so so so important. No matter what you are naturally like, you deserve to live as that person, quirks and all.
been thinking about the saiki siblings a lot lately....... their dynamic of "guy who experiments on you to feel something" & "guy who lets you experiment on him to feel something" is soooo compelling to me......
what if you were a genius scientist and there was only one person in the world who could compare to your talents, but he was better than you in every way and testing the limits of his superiority was the only thing that even remotely interested you. what if you were so powerful as to be considered inhuman and there was only one person in the world who understood that well enough to legitimately challenge you, and even though you know he'll never be able to beat you, maybe knowing you well enough to test your limits and take advantage of your weaknesses is close enough.
what if you were both so hyperaware of your own isolation from not only the rest of humanity but also each other that you couldnt ever leave each other alone. you reach for the person who comes closest to understanding you, and your inability to relate to each other is a constant reminder that neither of you can ever be normal. its the fucked up symbiotic relationship between a horrible monster that doesnt belong anywhere except in a lab, and the researcher who has been obsessively gathering data on it for his entire life. life was boring without you so i built a time machine and plunged the world into darkness. im sorry that being a normal person means i wont get to play with you anymore.
they can understand each other without speaking. the only time kusuo ever bleeds is at the hands of kuusuke. they have nothing in common except a shared complex about not being understood by normal people. and they hate each other. insane. im insane
#its so rargh#friendship and love save the day#let's ignore the whole world implications of Saiki being himself literally altering the fabric of reality HAHA#that's a conversation for another post#for me it belongs in the same category as the beastars lore bit about#Bears in Beastars having to take a drug that weakens them and gives them all these horrible side effects#something something Kusuo's limiters essentially destroying part of his brain. uhh umm ANYWAYS#at some point I *will* respond to all of this probably after I finish putting out my current fic#also im glad someone finally pointed out how they share a sense of alienation from humanity#to build on that a little#Kusuo is able to find some connection to people but only through Kuusukes' work which ironically enough requires his own isolation#from the rest of his peers#itsso augh good parallels#yeah someon remind me to finish this eventually#i have alot of thoughts about them
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Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.
By: J
major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention
uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.
uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.
talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!
i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.
hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭
(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)
——————————
yknow,
you havent been a great person
or a good one even.
yet you still question as to why i dont love you
or like you,
maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.
maybe not
i dont really care about your feelings.
at all.
not now.
i put up with this for fucking 14 years.
my entire fucking life.
ive put up with your shit.
but now?
now im done.
you have no idea how badly you fucked up.
when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up”
yknow.
he mightve not been right for what he did.
but,
it was just a mistake.
it was a goddamn mistake.
you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?
how many times ive repeated them?
how many times i fucking meant it?
just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.
you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.
dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”
bullshit.
bullshit you dont.
you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!
you had a goddamn kid
you had two goddamn children.
with this man that you fucking DESPISE.
you knew it back then too.
you told me you did.
you fucking told me.
almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.
nothing.
you have no right to act like that.
no.
you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.
for such a simple mistake.
i dont care if he talked about it since friday.
i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.
you.
you as a goddamn human.
have no right.
none.
in the slighest.
to hit another living being.
for talking about something in your eyes “too much”
or making a mistake.
youre a hypocrite.
need i remind you?
you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.
that youd be a better person.
stop the fights.
stop the beatings.
stop all of it.
and everything would be okay!
.
i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.
youre a liar.
just how you said i was.
you didnt quit.
you didnt stop.
hell two months after you hit him again!
you threatened to kill him and yourself!
cmon.
dont you get it yet?
i fucking despise you.
maybe to a degree i feel shocked.
but.
i really dont think thats it.
youre the root of my problems.
every single last fucking one.
——————
need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?
.
need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?
.
need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?
.
need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?
.
need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?
.
need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?
.
need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?
.
need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?
.
need i remind you of what i seen?
.
need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?
.
need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?
.
i dont care about your feelings anymore.
i gave up years ago.
but now.
i dont feel just numb for you.
i hate you.
in every sense of the word.
.
i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.
.
i dont care about what you think of my appearance.
.
i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.
.
i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.
.
you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.
you yelled at me.
no.
you fucking screamed at me for weeks.
im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.
i dont give a fuck about you.
and yknow?
if.
no.
if it would work.
if it was possible.
id fucking kill you.
id stab you.
right here.
right now.
to end my suffering.
to end his suffering.
all of it.
id end it all.
i dont care if its wrong.
because i know no one else knows about whats going on.
yknow.
only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.
and i havent even met her in person.
yknow.
the people i used to be close with from school.
only just learned you had an affair.
i know that.
the police are do-less.
since you know them.
and hes a man.
not a woman.
it wouldnt be taken seriously.
that he should just fight back.
yknow.
youve ruined what life he has left.
his parents beat him.
his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.
and here.
youve done the exact same thing.
yknow.
he’ll never get to see how love truely is.
because of you.
because of what youve done.
i cant say i really like him either.
but.
that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.
.
yknow whats worse?
how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.
is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.
i know i joke about that night.
but.
really.
hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.
its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years.
and even now.
if you were to as so much to touch me.
while in a fight.
id do it all over again.
you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.
but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.
i wont forgive you for what youve done.
even if he will.
.
i want nothing to do with you.
get out of my life for good.
#j writes badly#woohoo i just love living in a very fucked up house its soo great /sarcasm#ughnf whats worse is that if it werent for my parents rn my life would be quiet literally perfect.#holy shit the being pissed at my mother instead of destroying my arm thing is actually working irl holy shit#(actually shoked abt that tbh)#unironically i wanna make a less oily fuck rn. like so badly. bc my parents went to the store and got eggs so i can#oh yea for the new gen folk that dont know all of the j lore (this has been bothering me bc its coming up on the anniversary)#i know how to break someones fingers and make it look like an accident!#turns out theres a specific way thats more common in abuse versus accidents!#dont ask why i know this 🙂 (or do- it reallt doesnt bother me) (also not that i would- /gen)#this is basically me catching everyone up through j lore im not even kidding tbh#and yes. i have hit my mother before bc she wouldnt stop “playing” as i had hot ramen in my hands!#(look. it wasnt the best move at the time but uh. really saved me in the long run unironically!)#THERES FUCKING GEESE FLYING OVER MY HOUSE RN HOLY SHIT#sorry. uh. i cant help it tho. i heard them and it was cute#oh yea even MORE j lore; i have a mildly unhealthy obsession with “being stronger” because im consitently (and rightfully)#paranoid that my mother is gonna try and hit me!#when the whole 2020 chrismas thing (when i hit her) happened i had just got done wih archery so i was still pretty strong#but then eating disorder happened and i quit archery. muscle atrophy etc etc#so like. its a big ass thing i think abt every day now!#yea theres a real reason why i consider my friends as “safe” 💀#heheheheeeeee when no where else is safe thats just life ig!#oh god i need to brush my teeth fuck.#hhvtbd but my mother is awake :(#HHGBHGBSNS i need to start doing that at an ealier time bc it keeps getting in the way of things#again. how the fuck does smth so simple as brushing my teeth make so much feel better 😭😭 its weird#sighh well! time to go back to trying to find drawing inspo!#(i unironically cannot use my own trauma as a drawing point bc it makes me actually suicidal. thats why i write it! /srs)#CHOKEKSSSJ ok ill hush now!
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okay look, calming down - i understand why some people would want zelda to be a protagonist in like a totk-style 3d zelda. that would be great! the reason i predicted 2d for playable zelda is because its a smaller gamble for nintendo - imo, its realistically what we could get. especially at the end of the switch' life cycle AND so soon after totk.
BUT i'm very happy, for a few reasons:
1. it IS mainline zelda. its not called "triforce heroes" or "tingle's rosy rupeeland", its not a peach-style spinoff or side game. its a real zelda game. its called THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: ECHOES OF WISDOM. that alone, giving the mainline zelda brand prestige to this, IS a risk. and its one i super appreciate nintendo taking!!!
2. i disagree that just because it has the links awakening toy-style aesthetic, that automatically makes it a "lesser" or unserious game. links awakening IS a good game! its some peoples favorite! it added interesting lore to the zelda series, its a canon part of the timeline, its mechanically fun, and it has the fun psychological element of analyzing it in terms of links feelings about the dream. like how even the boss monsters are fearful of "dying", begging link not to destroy the island. which of course isn't "real" since its a dream, but its interesting that link would THINK that. also, marin 💔
3. like i said in the prediction post, this could be understood as a testfire for the concept. IF its as successful as any other 2d zelda game (and thats a big if! i already see people calling it more niche or for babies. i hope that doesnt catch on too much and depress hype 😞), maybe nintendo WILL see it as less of a gamble to make zelda the protagonist in a full-on, "serious" 3d title. nintendo is, after all, a business. trying it out with a smaller game makes total sense.
also... it looks like a good game? when a link between worlds was released, everyone thought the wall merging ability was brilliant and a great way to turn 2d zelda into a more unique experience.
this, to me, looks to have similar potential!! the fact that zelda can essentially order enemies to fight for her and use her environment to think of intelligent solutions to any problem is very in-character! it's fitting both for a princess and for the bearer of the triforce of wisdom.
also, its not just building/environment traversal! she does fight!
idk y'all, this looks like a great time to me! i don't know why people would presume its any "lesser" than any other 2d zelda... when we've literally seen another 2d zelda with this exact artstyle. and its an original game!! its not a remake!! :D
#the legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#the legend of zelda echoes of wisdom#nintendo direct#tloz#princess zelda
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The thing that still gets me is. Look. Culture wise. Lore wise. Why are ANY of the factions who side with the elven Gods actually siding with them. Obviously the darkspawn are controlled by Ghilan'nain so that's fine but:
The Venatori; largely upper class Tevinter mages, are working with the ELVEN gods???? The elves they believe are so beneath them that they quite literally form a slave class? And they're just willing to be subservient to them without any pushback whatsoever???
The Qunari; strong philosophical/religious philosophy which does not incorporate God-like figures. Culturally very against the idea of chaos (which Ghilan'nain and the blight very much symbolise). From what I can see, the Antam left the Qun because they believed that it wasn't following it's own principles well enough; are they really going to randomly start following gods from some bas religion. FURTHER these gods are powerful mages. Qunari historically are very against powerful mages. I mean, there's a whole DLC about how they decide Solas is a huge threat on sight and needs to be eliminated immediately.
And THEN you have the fact that these two factions, the ANTAM WHO ARE INVADING TEVINTER AND ACTIVELY MAKING SLAVES OUT OF TEVINTER CITIZENS AND DESTROYING THE MINDS OF TEVINTER MAGES are going to just be fine with working with THE TEVINTER IMPERALISTS WHO BELIEVE THAT TEVINTER SHOULD RULE ALL THEDAS AND THAT MAGES ARE GREAT.
Surely these two groups should be the MOST diametrically opposed to working with one another because even if they can wipe out everyone else together, for either to achieve their stated aims the other HAS to cease to exist.
It would be interesting if they were sorta going at this like...the way that the Soviet Union and the US worked together in WWII but then it erupted into a cold war once their mutual enemy was defeated. Or if the gods were hiding the fact they were working with both of them. But that doesn't seem to be the case.
It's just. It's a wild choice. It's basically 'evil people work with evil people no matter what' which is categorically just not how things work.
#datv#dragon age#bioware critical#i mean i also kinda feel this way about the red templars in dai#but this is Worse
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