#that line from nine of 'how many others?!' just strikes me in the core when you go beat on the quesh scientist

[ebitenpura]

remembers lore I had of Eight being one of the original test subjects for the Castellans, but was saddled with a faulty prototype that only takes effect half the time. he willingly stays in Intelligence even after that-- there's nothing and nowhere else he can go, and who's to say that having that edge of unpredictability on your masters isn't a secret boon? is the man taking orders like a droid before you actually under your control, or doing so out of his own free will?

it's a waste of an operative to axe him for retaining only half of his autonomy. yet he seems even more dangerous to be on your side to begin with, and you don't know what scares you more: that he puts up with this at all, or if he's compliant in the first place. it's a gamble whether that drug works, and he knows it. a guinea pig for control. an example for the rest. a weapon asking to be used. living evidence of a crime, and perfectly fine with it. his continued existence is his own leverage against the empire, he says, with a smile that drowns in the dark of his eyes.

whatever the reason, you think you understand why the enigma of Cipher Eight is left well alone.

[epersonae]

Director's cut of "For The Benefit of All the Broken Hearts", please! (p.s. - is it annoying if I send more than one of these? I have Curiosity)

I saw that it was for the whole fic and I just [stares into space] - because not only is it 62,158 words, which is a lot of words, for me anyway, but it also is one of those stories that occupied my entire brain for months on end, and is still kind of a core part of my personality. I could probably do a whole Taika-commentary-track-of-Boy thing with it, and be equally weird and revealing. 😅

But in trying to pick out a single aspect to write commentary, I realized I've never written the post I've been threatening to write for a year (WHAT), which is what I learned about writing an unnamed protagonist. (Or at least I can't find anything in the #carlita coded content tag.) It's now been a year, so it's likely I will miss something important, but it was such a striking learning experience that I think I can do pretty well with it.

This got long, so more under the cut:

Because aside from being obsessed by the subject matter and vibes and all that, writing for the benefit of all the broken hearts was an incredible boost in my writing craft. (the other big boost was around dramatic pacing and narrative tension and foreshadowing, btw.)

She didn't have a name in the original, and deliberately so, and I was committed to that in my work. See also: Rebecca; this post's tags has some thoughts about Rebecca as a narrative influence in addition to the technical aspects. And unlike Rebecca, I was writing in close third person. (One of the reasons that when I'm feeling particularly cocky I will say SUCK IT DAPHNE DU MAURIER.)

And that's not that hard to do when there's only two characters in a scene and they use different pronouns, but so much of the story is her and Mary. (this post made me laugh A LOT) Which means I can't use pronouns to do the lifting, instead I had to think about other ways to handle it structurally.

Using Mary's name probably more than I would normally, to be quite honest. Her name is in many more dialogue tags and starting actions than I think it would be otherwise, because if Mary's doing one action, she's doing the other action; if Mary is saying one bit of dialogue, she's saying the other.

Using line breaks strategically, clearly separating character actions; and I think over time this actually made a difference in distinguishing how they act (and speak) differently from one another, that carried over to her interactions with Ed and Stede as well. And that carries over to how Mary also becomes a more distinct character.

In some cases, this went as far as actually rearranging the physical action. I don't remember the precise details, but there's something about when they first go into the kitchen in Ch 15, when Stede is making drinks, where you have all four characters directly interacting: I reworked who was doing what where to disambiguate which "she" I'm talking about.

There's also a lot of very fiddly sentence rewording, rethinking every individual sentence, and does every clause need to be there, and what is every single sentence doing. Because there's a lot of ways of writing that are "natural" (aka I have been writing fiction off and on since I was probably nine years old, and even with a wholeass English degree and a lot of supplemental reading about craft, I'm still kind of intuitive about my writing) that lead to structures where clearly her name would go here, but I can't do that, so: is the sentence working? Should it get flipped the other direction? Do I need a paragraph break? Is it okay if it's a little ambiguous -- there's a line in one of the coffeeshop scenes where it's kind of unclear which one of them does some gesture or another, and I decided that the ambiguity worked, actually.

And then probably my favorite craft becomes theme trick, particularly where there's sort of a repetition of sentence structure, or where Mary has been doing something and her actions are in reaction to that: sometimes it makes it work to just remove the subject of the sentence. Walks across the room. Picks up her coffee. It both somehow makes things clearer despite offering less detail AND reinforces this thematic thing of her being both absent and present.

Bonus difficulty level, btw: even if epithets had made sense for the tone (which they did occasionally, iirc), I deliberately chose to have very limited physical description of both her and Mary, on account of them both being amalgams not of actor and character (like Ed, Stede, Jim, Roach, etc), but of either two real people and real person and character played by a different real person respectively. They are both entirely secret third thing, and giving them things like hair color/style (beyond a vague reference to length) or eye color takes that away. (Instead they have some details of their overall physicality - age, respective heights - and clothing, both of which also tie into the themes of the thing.)

Honestly, overall it was an interesting creative puzzle, and I learned a ton -- Through the Storm, which is a very very very different story, owes a lot to it, and I've managed to commit to the bit through all the missing scenes fic (altho since a lot of that is alternate POV, there's a lot of "Ed's wife" construction, which is not my favorite) and the alternate bad endings fic.

tagging the beta team in case anybody has anything to add; this was very much a group project, esp in identifying places where it was clear to me but not to other people: @emi--rose @veeagainsttheday @gaypiratebrainrot

also, going to leave this here - when I went to ECCC in 2023 the original artist of this meme was selling versions with a blank word balloon and you could have her write in something, and I got it left blank with the idea that I would write other things on the plastic or if ever get a glass frame, but uh, it's been Carlita? since March of 2023.

there's so many other things I could have written about at this length about this story (both specific details and the thematic stuff), I'm serious.

and to answer your ps: NOT ANNOYING AT ALL. clearly I enjoy talking about my writing. :D

[director's commentary asks]

[evecolourshock]

Fic idea time! Tron's been in many games, some lethal some not, what about him blurring the lines between... earlier ones than that?

Tron heaves a breath through gritted teeth, somewhere between a grin and a grimace. Beck's getting good now, enough to make him actually exert himself to stay ahead, and as much as he enjoys the challenge his scars...

He shakes his head, twists out the way of a leg sweep Beck almost slips past him. Not the time. "Good." He grunts out, striking open-palmed to make Beck lean back. It's not enough to make his friend overbalance any more, and Tron's bared teeth inch closer to a grin. Very good. He's learning.

Beck stalks around him, eyes gleaming with thousands of calculations, and Tron-

Tron gets distracted enough for Beck to clip his side with a kick. He growls, wordless, amused, and a little annoyed at himself. He's normally better than this.

But damnit all to whatever Users mean by hell, Tron's having fun. And Beck's pushing at his limits, learning how to get around Tron's defences and apply his function to a fight, and if Beck can beat Tron he can beat anyone, and if he just calculates a few nanoseconds faster-

Tron falters.

Beck pulls a strike at the last moment, palm close enough for Tron to feel the heat radiating off Beck's circuits on his cheek. "You okay?" Beck backs off a little, knowing even before Tron does it's time for a break. He's learning that, too, and Tron's so proud of him.

It's just-

How can he answer Beck's question, when for just one moment fluffy black became curly grey-tan? That bold lines became a maze on a jacket fought hard to keep? That Mechanic became Actuary, that salle became ring, that young became peer, that black became white and Tron saw a long-gone friend instead of the one here and now?

Who is he betraying, when he conflates the two? Tron's core creaks dangerously at the mere thought.

Beck takes his silence for the negative response Tron can't bring himself to voice. "The MCP is derezzed." Beck tells him quietly, voice sure and calm, clearly thinking of the last time Tron's attention wavered during a spar and trying to bring him back from that buried precipice of fear - when Tron's strikes changed from instructive to desperate, thinking he was back in the Gladiator Ring. "You're safe. The UNIX timestamp is nine-zero-one seven-five-six zero-seven-three three-five-B F-B-four A-nine. You're at your Spire - your home in the mountains near Argon City. The only life around aside from you and me are the Bits in the underground caves near Theta Section."

It's... endearing, Beck's rambles as he tries to ground Tron. And effective, too. He has no idea where Beck learned this new skill, and a flash of that infamous curiosity of his he thought long suffocated makes him want to find out.

It takes him a little while to notice Beck shepherding him to the benches he'd caved and added so they had somewhere to sit when discussing new tactics or moves, even longer to notice the glass of energy in his hands - he notices that when he feels the first sip reach his reserve, and with no small amount of wonder realises it's the first time in a long time he hasn't been wary of anything handed to him.

Because Beck wouldn't do that to him. Doesn't think he can worm his way into Tron's trust (or... other things) by plying him with gifts that have invisible strings. Beck just... treats everything practically, and if Tron cam't get it himself for some reason has no qualms about fetching it for him. To Beck it's simple. Easy. He has functioning hands and sees no reason for them to be idle if something needs to be done.

Rather like someone else Tron once knew.

Thinking of... Tron's feeling brave, right now. Brave enough to let Beck in past his guard, to allow him just that little bit closer to his vulnerable core. He takes a shaky breath. "Did I ever tell you about... he'd be the first Renegade, probably." One corner of Tron's mouth curls up, the closest he can get to a smile. "We didn't... call ourselves such, at the time. But he'd probably be the first one, if we'd had the title back then."

Beck shakes his head.

Tron hums quietly, understanding, mustering the courage to risk poking at grief long-buried. "He was an Actuary Program. Calculated... heh. I never really understood his function. Loans and annuities and insurance and many things that made sense to Users and the Programs that helped them. Clever, sneaky, cheeky little thing, for all he was a bit older than me. Lethal at Jai-alai, and nearly my match in the Disc and Lightcycle arenas."

Beck's eyes widen. "What was his name?" He asks in a near-whisper, awed but also aware Tron doesn't use the past tense without reason.

"Ram." Tron murmurs, pulling up a memory even now so crisp and clear - Ram's laugh at the energy springs, bright and playful, flicking some at Tron teasingly as they took a respite... dumping a discful on Tron's head after he pushed his friend into the shallows, long before the MCP got hold of either of them. "His name was Ram. He... he was my first real friend."

Beck snuggles into his side, warm and curious, and Tron swears he can feel a life long-gone drape over his other shoulder. "Tell me about him?" Beck asks, and-

Just this once, Tron does.

Thinking about how much Tron loved the games in Betrayal before they turned into killing games. Beck participated in games with the garage gang. Do you think their sparring/training ever brought Tron back to the days of the original games? Do you think some small part of him was happy to be fighting again, without the goal of derezzing his opponent?

[shihalyfie]

Some things to know about the upcoming 02-related movie

As someone who seems to be known for being a 02 metablogger now (and 02 lover in general), and who’s been closely following Kizuna’s development and is generally fond of the movie itself, I figured I’d probably need to address the elephant in the room that is the announcement of the upcoming (unnamed, as of this writing) 02-related movie. This is also especially because I’ve personally been on the record saying that I absolutely did not want a Kizuna sequel. And, well, on top of that, to be a bit blunt about it, a lot of us, especially 02 fans, have a lot of reason to be skeptical of Toei right now given some of the things they’ve done with this series in the past, and 02-related things in particular (trust me, the wound is still extremely fresh), so it says a lot about what it took for me to get even remotely positive about this prospect.

Well, here’s the good news: while I of course still think there’s good reason to be apprehensive, and while I wouldn’t say everyone should be getting their expectations up for it to be guaranteed fantastic (which is something I would say about anything, regardless of whether it even has to do with Digimon or not), I don’t think there’s too much to be panicked about with this movie. Again, it took a lot for the staff to gain my trust in this respect, so it’s not something I say lightly. But if you’re a 02 fan and you’re extremely apprehensive, here are my reasons for feeling this way, and, hopefully, they might make you feel a little better too.

The reason this movie exists to begin with

One of the most striking things about this movie’s reveal was that they’ve literally only just started production on this movie. This was to the point that, at DigiFes, where this was revealed, even the voice actors stated outright that they knew absolutely nothing more than what the audience knew from the trailer. Katayama (Daisuke) only knew anything in the sense that they had him record those few lines for it. So even though it’s been a whole year and a half since Kizuna released to the public, it had only just been decided to make a new movie like this. All of the statements between Kizuna and now stating that there was nothing particularly in the works at the time were completely accurate. Of course, there are obvious hints that they were setting up for this possibility (many, many people noticed the suspiciously favorable position the 02 group was in during Kizuna, and the press releases were carefully worded so that having a movie about “Daisuke and his friends” would allow any statement about Kizuna being “the last adventure of Taichi and his friends” to still be technically truthful), but for all intents and purposes it seems like there had been no actual commitment to making this 02 movie until now, and that they’d at least wanted to gauge the surrounding climate and fanbase reactions for what people were looking for before they decided to go ahead with this.

The obvious reasons as to why this movie exist involve the fact that Daisuke and co. are pretty much the only “out” you can have to continue the Adventure universe without constantly defaulting to Taichi’s group yet again, because at the very least it’d be something that you can’t deny hasn’t exactly had the best representation in recent years. Of course they’re trying to capitalize on this! I’m not going to pretend they aren’t! But producer Kinoshita left a very interesting comment about a particular goal they have with this movie:

This time, the core behind the movie is everyone from 02! Daisuke’s group has their own different kind of charm from Taichi’s, and we want to express that precisely because we’re in the times we’re in right now.

That comment alone has a lot to unpack. (For a frame of reference, Kizuna released in Japan in February 2020; development had already long finished by the time the pandemic first hit, and it was unfortunately one of the first victims of the initial lockdowns because of how bad the timing was.) Acknowledging directly that there’s something different about Daisuke’s group and their dynamic, which makes them especially suited for what we need in “the current times”...hmm, what could that be?

The implied answer is one that many 02 lovers will know very intimately: the 02 group’s particular specialty is in uplifting others and giving each other emotional support. While Adventure had traces of these themes, 02 was the one that went really hard on the themes of dealing with grief and loss, the existential crisis of what to do with oneself in a world placing heavy pressures on you, and how to move on from hardships with the help of others. The fact that the 02 group specializes in this more than anything else is probably one of the most distinguishing factors between them and their seniors, so there’s a very heavy implication here that they understand what distinguishes 02 from Adventure, and what it uniquely would bring to the table in this kind of movie. So this isn’t just “we’re relying on the 02 kids because they’re part of the same universe”; there’s some degree of substantial understanding of what makes 02 as a series unique, and a desire to use this to its fullest extent.

Still don’t believe me? Well, how about this...

This staff really likes 02 a lot

Seki Hiromi, the original producer of Adventure and 02, was involved as a supervisor on Kizuna’s development. Seki was personally involved in the creation of these kids and 02 itself -- she’s the one who noticed the story of the nine-year-old boy skipping grades into Columbia University, the one that formed the basis of 02 itself and eventually came back for Kizuna -- and even personally vetted Kizuna’s script to make sure everyone was in character, gave her thoughts on what the kids would be like in 2010, and was (repeatedly) commented as seeming to love the kids like her own children. As of this writing, it hasn’t been confirmed whether she’s involved on the new movie, but even if she’s not, this means that the staff on Kizuna that is returning all listened closely to those discussions about what the characters are like, straight from the mouth of one of their own creators. The new character song releases had a brief mention in Lounsbery Arthur’s interview that there were apparently extensive discussions with the staff on what the characters should be like at this time, so while Seki’s involvement with that is unknown, at the very least, a lot of conscientious thought seems to be put in at all times into maintaining these characters’ integrity.

Of course, just having an original creator alone on it doesn’t necessarily do it by itself, so here’s another interesting thing: Taguchi Tomohisa, director of both Kizuna and this movie, is also very fond of 02.

I suspect we’ll be hearing more from him as this new movie goes further into development, but Taguchi himself implied that 02 was actually the one he happened to connect with in particular, and when you really think about it, given the circumstances surrounding Kizuna, it’s not actually surprising that a movie trying to be conscientiously aware of 02′s position in the narrative would have someone with a particular fondness for it on its staff. (Reason being: a lot of Adventure fans don’t care much for 02, but you’ll almost never meet a 02 fan who doesn’t also adore Adventure.) The really fun part about this, however, is that Taguchi has repeatedly stated that 02′s first movie, Hurricane Touchdown, is his favorite Digimon movie -- in a climate where everyone else was talking about Adventure. The expected answer for the majority of Adventure fans in terms of “favorite Digimon movie” is almost always Our War Game! by knockout, but no, for Taguchi, it’s Hurricane Touchdown, and not only has he said this, he won’t shut up about it. He’s been saying this since 2019. Even Seki noticed. A whole article got made about this. He brings it up whenever he has a chance to. To top it all off, when a Kizuna event asked everyone present about their favorite characters, and everyone gave Adventure-related answers, Taguchi’s response was instead Terriermon and Daisuke. And I mean, look at Kizuna itself -- its entire plot revolves around having to move on from unhealthy nostalgia, represented by kidnapping people and turning them younger and an antagonist swallowed by their own negative emotions, which, well, is literally the plot of Hurricane Touchdown. (Yeah, that Wallace cameo is very, very likely to be sheer self-indulgence.) And considering that Taguchi said his favorite human character was Daisuke, not Wallace, it means that he understands what Hurricane Touchdown brought out of Daisuke, what his interactions with Wallace meant for both characters, and how Daisuke’s best strengths lie in his ability to support and uplift others.

And, finally, we have Yamatoya, who was responsible for penning both Kizuna’s script (and, thus, being privy to Seki’s corrections) and the bonus drama CD that came with it, on the script, and he personally said that he enjoyed writing for the 02 group because he felt they were important to lightening up the mood of the heavy story Kizuna was becoming. In fact, every comment from this staff about what the 02 group brings to the table in particular has showed a good understanding of what their appeal is -- that they have to be “fun”, that they were “healing in a heavy story”, and Taguchi himself said that he got the impression that the 02 group had more straightforward paths to their epilogue careers (which is interesting, considering that I’ve also personally pointed out that the 02 group seemed to have careers with significantly lower bars than their seniors’ due to their difference in priorities). All of these things are observations you make when you know this group and the importance of the story they came from.

Extend it even further to the rest of the staff members and you’ll find there are a lot of 02 fans on there, including the animation staff, who made some very neat observations about 02 and its finale. Miyahara Takuya is a particularly amusing case, because he seems to love Imperialdramon so much that in the thanks booklet for the deluxe edition for the Blu-ray, he drew a picture of Daisuke and Ken with Imperialdramon Dragon Mode because he didn’t get to be in the movie. (As in, he actually said, point-blank in the caption, that he loves Imperialdramon and wanted to draw him because he wasn’t in the movie.)

Of course, even if you’re trying your best, things may not always work out, so I’m not saying having love for the characters will necessarily guarantee that the product turns out for the best. However, considering that historically a lot of our fears come from the idea of them milking the name value of the characters without really caring about their integrity or understanding what the series was about (especially since a lot of people in the fanbase itself don’t tend to read 02′s nuances very well), I think, at the very least, we don’t need to worry about the staff for this movie not being conscientious, nor the idea that they’re making this movie without understanding or caring about 02.

Furthermore, one thing I appreciate is that they’re actually leading the advertisement with a premise that is distinct from Kizuna’s. Of course, it covers a similar topic of “partnerships”, and it’s very possible it’ll cover the issue of the solution to Kizuna’s problem (especially since the answer was already hinted to have a heavy relationship with 02), but nevertheless, it’s an actual premise that’s not just “Kizuna’s story, but more of it”. It’s an understanding that something 02-related should be allowed to stand on its own rather than just tacking it onto an Adventure-related thing. Beyond that, while I think it’s generally expected that a side story like this should have an original character, I think it’s actually very good this time in particular that there’s a new element/character for the 02 group to interact with; again, as with Hurricane Touchdown and Daisuke, these kids often have the best brought out of them when they’re supporting others, and honestly, because the kids suffered so much in their own narrative, I’m not particularly fond of the idea of seeing them having to go through too much more trauma themselves (it’s a big reason I don’t like the idea of a 02 reboot). So while I’m sure a lot of 02 fans feel a bit antsy that the actual group itself wasn’t advertised first, I actually consider it a positive sign that they have an understanding of what context this group performs best in, and, moreover, well...the last time they unveiled something that was so focused on advertising the return of old characters that it forgot to actually be straightforward about the premise, I don’t think that ended well. So to speak.

In general, the track record is good

It’s easy to just smile and nod at the portrayal of the 02 quartet in Kizuna, because in general everything from them is in-character, but I just want to point out how significant it is that they were portrayed so conscientiously when it is really easy to mess them up. (As I like pointing out very often: even official has not historically been very careful with Daisuke’s character.) There are so many easy pitfalls you could have fallen into and pigeonholed the kids into, but Kizuna absolutely demonstrated the quartet at their best, showing off all the nuances of their character and bringing up all the parts that were most important, especially Daisuke’s best quality being “positivity and cheerfulness” and not all of the other things about him running in circles or having a crush on Hikari-chan. This even goes down to the casting; Katayama Fukujuurou sounds terrifyingly like Kiuchi Reiko in terms of all the little nuances and pitch shifts she had in her performance, and the cast themselves spoke of all the nuances present in their characters as they were studying for their roles. These are things that even fans of the series tend to miss, but the voice actors for the quartet nailed their roles so well that it’s very easy to tell that the direction understood exactly what they were looking for and needed, and casted accordingly. Even those who didn’t care for the movie much had a very hard time disputing the voice casting for the quartet (and this is saying a lot given how much voice actor changes are often a really sore point among Japanese fans).

But while the 02 group had a limited amount of screentime in Kizuna, the staff also had a lot of opportunities to prove themselves with the drama CD and the new character song CDs, and every single aspect of these reflects something that was represented in 02 itself -- again, things that often go over the heads of people who aren’t paying as close attention. The drama CD captures a lot of the essence of the dynamics between the group in only short lines, and all of the statements about the characters in the character song interviews are accurate (and remember: Arthur said directly that there were discussions with the staff about keeping them true to character). On top of that, not only do the lyrics in said songs directly mirror each character’s development from the time of the original Best Partner series, there are also a lot of things in said songs that demonstrate a nuanced understanding of each person’s character and what they got out of the events of 02. Someone with only a surface-level understanding of Ken or Iori’s character might think that Ken should only have a soft song, or that Iori shouldn’t want to do anything ridiculous, but the series goes ahead and gives Ken one of the most passionately emotional rock songs in the batch and Iori outright rap with Armadimon, which are both fitting decisions in light of Ken actually being one of the more emotionally assertive people in this group, and Iori only being stoic because he’s strict with himself and being willing to let loose in certain circumstances (especially after the events of 02).

As of this writing, I don’t know if the new movie is going to be featuring the entire group in a major role, and I’m not sure if I even want it to; as much as I do strongly feel like the group should always work together at all times, one minor personal complaint I had about Kizuna was that it tries to do too much in too little time, and I’m personally fine with this new movie being more Daisuke-centric or something if it means it can just get a nice story on the table (after all, if I wanted something that more evenly represents the entire 02 group, I’d just go back and rewatch a very nice anime series called Digimon Adventure 02). There’s also the very thorny question of what to do about Tokumitsu Yuka, since I don’t personally really like the idea of still dragging her out of retirement like this (but I also wouldn’t want them to awkwardly write around her just for this, and I’m wondering if Sonozaki voicing Tailmon in the reboot would let people accept her as a replacement without much fighting).

Nevertheless, I think Kizuna’s staff has proven more than well enough that they understand the essence of 02 and its characters, so, again, regardless of how it turns out, I at least expect that this can be made with some degree of conscientiousness, and at this point, that’s all I can ask for. I don’t think it’s fair to expect or want this movie to be the second coming of 02, because, again, if we wanted that, I think it’d be better for us to all go back and watch that lovely little 50-episode anime called Digimon Adventure 02. But in terms of being something that can add a little nice thing to the mix, I think, so far, this movie at least has positive signs of turning out that way -- and, remember, think about what I just said about initially being very against this idea; as a diehard 02 fan who has a lot of very picky feelings about how to best represent it, it took a lot for the staff to earn my trust in this sense.

[charmspoint]

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT ABT THE BSD MANGA ILY THANK YOU I FEEL LIKE MY OPINION IS FINALLY VALIDATED WHICH IS: BSD has turned meh. I have become indifferent towards the plot due to the fact there are no real stakes - I feel like the OP characters like Dazai will always have a solution with a deus ex machina feel to it, making it impossible for me to care. With the recent chaos happening in the manga (I too gave up on the manga a year or so ago!), I was baffled to find out I could no longer enjoy it. My memory is poor, and I can't really pinpoint it at the moment, but BSD just... doesn't engage me as it used to. Keep in mind I was an obsessive fan of it and analyzed it to the tiniest details, but all of my great love for the series has long died, sadly. But! I am glad to hear you feel similarly about it because, yes, the potential was there, but it got terribly wasted.

Bruh don't I feel it, me and @autumn-foxfire have like monthly bitch sessions about the state of bsd at this point. I was also super invested in it in initial arcs (Up until the guild arc ended) and then slowly started petering off only to drop it the first time around the hunting dogs introduction. Then after some time i was like okay ill go give it a second shot, came to the vampire arc went 'wow this is really fuckin stupid' and dropped it again. Idk will I pick it up again, maybe I'll just stick to being an anime only, even tho I also have problems with some adaptation things but that's BESIDES THE POINT.

Please click under for The Point

The thing about Kafka is: He's really good at coming up with interesting concepts and ideas and REALLY BAD at executing them in any sort of satisfying way. Like, when I say I only like bsd until the end of the guild arc, I don't mean it was perfect. It could have handled it's female cast better, it would have been fun to see more mafia and agency team ups besides soukoku and shin soukoku, I still don't get why shin soukoku is supposed to be a replacement in training since Dazai and Chuuya still work together perfectly and even if they hate each other they hate each other less than Akutagawa and Atsushi AND have way more experience fighting together but that once again is besides the point. The point being those arcs of bsd were SATISFYING. We got introduced to two organizations, seen them butt heads and then have them forced to work together against a common enemy. It's very simple but it's effective and it's satisfying.

And then the rats struck.

While up until then bsd wasn't perfect it was fun and had lovable characters and an interesting plot and engaging dynamics. Rats arc wasn't horrible per say, the idea of the cannibalization was really fun (Though I think Kafka should have used it to get rid of Mori, nobody fuckin likes Mori) but this is where we slowly get introduced to what I think are two main failings of Kafka's writing: That he's unable to handle characters properly and that he likes writing smart things but doesn't know how to write smart things.

Kafka has a very, very bad habit of INTRODUCING TOO MANY FUCKING CHARCTERS. Every arc is a new massive group with like a bunch of members, one of who may actually end up being fleshed out before they are inventiblely replaced by another large group or maybe two why the fuck not. The mafia and the guild left lasting impressions on me and I can still name all the main members but fuck me if i know a single rat aside from Fyodor (AND ILL GET TO FYODOR). Kafka feels like someone who's idea of rising conflict is 'introduce a bigger enemy each time' and it's just so annoying. Chapters and arcs end up centering around these groups of new characters while old characters, who we loved the manga for, just fall into obscurity. He almost had me in the hunting dogs arc by giving Yosano a backstory. I was so excited! I was like!!! finally development for the agency!!! But that barely went anywhere did it. I've talked about this with Foxy but it really feels like Kafka is just BORED of the og characters and is trying to silently sideline them for his new shiny characters. When's the last time we saw Chuuya again, you know, the ex partner of one of the series protagonists? The next predicted mafia head? Is he important? Foxy tells me Dazai's been sidelined too, fUCKIN DAZAI, for a good while I was sure Kafka liked Dazai a lot better than Atsuhi for protagonist and now he's getting sidelined. I know bsd is still really popular in japan but at this point i think it would have been more merciful for Kafka to just end bsd and start a new manga with new characters instead of doing whatever weird metamorphosis this is turning out to be.

Introducing new characters isn't a bad thing of course, but bsd has become mcdonalds of new characters. They are cheap and disposable. I can't feel anything for them because I know nine times out of ten they'll barely make any impact and they'll disappear as soon as the new group slides in. When adding new characters you should do so while knowing what role those characters will play in your plot, what will they bring. If a character is just there to waffle around until they get shoved away they should probably be cut because they are wasting time and space. AND YOU SHOULDN'T SIDE LINE YOUR CORE CAST FOR UR SHINY NEW CHARACTERS YOU'LL GET BORED OF IN COUPLE OF ARCS ANYWAY, ARE YOU A TODDLER???

I still think that bsd could have been SO much better if instead of focusing on the next big evil group they just focused on shifting tension between the agency and the mafia. I mean they've had to team up for the guild and then they immediately got thrown into the cannibalization. It would have been interesting to see them pull against and pull towards those ties made during the guild arc when they are forcefully pitted against each other again (and decide that killing mori would be in everyone's best interest). Instead we got, idk I already forgot what the rats arc ended up being about, atsushi and aku team up again yadda yadda yadda, Chuuya gets done dirty and never recovers, Fyodor ruins Dazai

SO ABOUT FYODOR. As I said, Kafka strikes me as someone who REALLY likes to write geniuses and who wants people to think he's super smart but also has no idea how to show his work. At first this was okay. We had Dazai and Ranpo who were very good at pushing the plot along and sometimes you'd get explained how they got to that conclusion and sometimes you didn't but it usually wasn't a big deal. But then the writing became more and more and more of 'well he's smart so he figured it out so just trust me' without actually explaining anything and as you said, it ended up feeling boring, unengaging and very deus ex machina. You know what Kafka's writing reminds me off? That video about how Sherlock is so happy to stroke itself to how smart they look while never showing their work, you know the one. Kafka likes writing smart characters but doesn't actually know how to write smart characters so instead of giving us reasons and clues and explanations to how they come to some conclusion, how they predicted or planned or whatever, he just goes 'oh well they are super smart so they figured it out'. I don't think I need to explained why this is bad, annoying and unengaging writing. This is why i say Fyodor ruined Dazai for me, Dazai was fine as a genius but then they had to pit him against Fyodor who's another genius and things just got ridiculous. You know how in that sherlock video the guy points out the one scene that encapsulates every irritating thing about sherlocks writing. This had been it for me and BSD (thank you Foxy for helping me find the panels)

THATS NOT HOW CODES WORK, THATS NOT HOW ANYTHING WORKS, THEY WOULD JUST BE COMING UP WITH TWO DIFFERENT SETS OF CODES HERE. Even if they were both smart enough to remember every conversation in detail, how on earth are they supposed to 'guess out' what the other means. How are they supposed to confirm or deny that's what a certain word means in a way that can be understood, how can they even guess what the word the other guessed is IF THEY ARE BOTH TALKING IN CODE. KAFKA'S ANSWER: THEY'RE MONSTERS, THEY ARE JUST THAT SMART, NO NEED TO EXPLAIN IT BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST THAT SMART AND THAT'S YOUR SOLUTION AND THAT'S BULLSHIT. This scene broke bsd in half for me and honestly made me dislike Dazai for a long time (I got better), but it honestly shows so well how Kafka wanted to make his characters so smart he actually made his manga really fuckin stupid, ruining very good and interesting concept he had started with.

In the end, Kafka writes how I wrote when I was 15. With no idea where the plot is headed, adding new characters and situations whenever it strikes his fancy whether they work for the story or not, ending up just flopping around plot holes and fizzled out character arcs and boring ass writing. And that's fine for a 15yr old writing fanfiction. It's not fine for a presumably grown ass published author of a relatively popular manga.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[gamersonthego]

Matt Giguere’s Top 25 DS Games

It’s strange to think Nintendo, once again, had to prove themselves in the handheld space after the Game Boy and Game Boy Advance handily served every bit of competition it faced. Yet in 2004, the Nintendo DS faced an uphill battle to show that having the best and fastest hardware wouldn’t necessarily result in the best sales. 16 years and 154 million units later, the legacy of the DS is strong, evident in the deluge of smartphone and mobile games that rely on a touch interface. It’s a shame Nintendo and other publishers are not being better stewards to their catalogues of games as there are still many that are only playable on the original hardware, and few seem to make the jump to the current set of consoles and computers. Still, it is easy to find an original DS that works and there are still plenty of cheap titles to pick up. Here’s a selection of my favorite games to hit the handheld.

1. Meteos

Can a puzzle game top Tetris?  Honestly, thanks to the minds of Tetsuya Mizuguchi and Masahiro Sakurai, Meteos manages to blast past the mesosphere and comes the closest to a space rendezvous with the original falling brick puzzler. What makes it fun to play? While it can get rather hectic and fast paced, the touch screen makes matching three or more pieces a cinch. Blasting off these little “meteos” using rocket propulsion and fighting against the forces of gravity creates a very addictive hook with some variety that keeps it from being stale. It is a simple and effective puzzle game that showcases why a touch-based interface can work for some games better than what button presses can do. Add in easy to use single cart multiplayer and the single-player Star Trip mode to keep you sharp, and you have a puzzle game for the ages.  

2. Elite Beat Agents

Imagine being stuck in an impossible situation, like having to face down a runaway golem, or sneak into a corporate office using your ninja powers? Who do you call to help in this situation? This is a job for the Elite Beat Agents: A government agency that cheers you on to the grooves of radio hits from the ’70s to the ’00s. The idea of playing a rhythm game where you have to tap and slide didn’t sit well with my snobbish DDR and Guitar Hero ways. Why tap a screen when I can “dance” and “rock out?” Little did I know this was just as valid a way to feel the music and beat out a jam, and soon after I was feeling the hand cramps of too much furious tapping while I carefully made sure I didn't “Ouendan” the bottom screen. There’s a very strange energy to this game that permeates from the different scenarios to the beat of the soundtrack. I might not dig every song served in the playlist, but I can’t help but try and top my score on Sk8er Boi for the 100th time! With all the trouble in the world, maybe we need more games (and people) like EBA these days.

3. Advance Wars: Dual Strike

Oh Advance Wars, your time was too short over here. But hey! At least we were given a great first outing on the DS, and all these years later, it is still a blast to play. Using the second screen to quickly glance at unit and area information is a welcomed addition, but Second Front battles add a new dimension to the core strategy game that really sells the top screen. Throw in all the CO Tag Powers and a map editor built for a touch interface, and it’s hard to see how anything can top this release of Advance Wars. But seriously Intelligent Systems and Nintendo, please give the franchise one more shot!  

4. Tetris DS

Yeah, it's Tetris. But also, it’s Tetris! Maybe it is one of those “skips a generation” thing, as you can kind of plot the best versions of portable Tetris are on the GameBoy, the DS, and the Switch. Tetris DS may be sacrilegious to some with its hold options and infinity spin technique, but this is what I think makes this version unique beyond the various modes and dual screen support. To me it creates a faster version of Tetris that is easy to get into, but can be a fun challenge to master. The addition of Nintendo-themed boards to go with the different modes of play not seen in other versions also adds to this unique addition to the Tetris line. Looking for a version of Tetris with more to do than just the base game? Tetris DS has the most to offer.  

5. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

This game should have been a hit. Maybe the marketing hyped this game up too much? Maybe more people were spoiled by the full 3D realization of the GTA formula with GTA 3? Maybe the music wasn’t the same without the radio hits? Maybe if the synthwave revival had hit the scene sooner it would’ve helped? Whatever the case, this is a gem of a GTA game. While it misses out on the full production of the home console and PSP “Stories” line (I think full voice acting would have helped this version of the game immensely,) just about every aspect of the big brother version is here in this miniature version of Liberty City. From hijacking cars to outrunning the fuzz, this top-down 3D GTA gives a full helping of the open world mayhem the series is known for. The bottom screen minigames can get a touch annoying, but they hardly get in the way like many other games on the DS. Rounding out this game is the drug peddling economy minigame. Not only does it fit the setting and overall style of the game, but  it enables a great opportunity for emergent gameplay to unfold with big risks and big gains. It baffles me* how Rockstar won’t develop this further in their games’ single player campaigns. Check it out, as it’s still rather cheap on the DS and is also available on the PSP and most modern mobile devices. *I’m clearly ignoring the real money cash flow of online microtransactions. 6. Kirby: Canvas Curse

7. Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

8. Mario Kart DS

9. Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck

10. Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia

11. WarioWare Touched!

12. Star Fox Command

13. Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

14. 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

15. Final Fantasy IV

16. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

17. Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day!

18. The World Ends with You

19. Professor Layton and the Curious Village

20. Mega Man XZ

21. Pokemon Black/White

22. Photo Dojo

23. Style Savvy

24. New Super Mario Bros

25. The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass

[starstruckteacup]

Cottagecore Films (pt. 10)

Elizabeth (1998)

TW: blood, mild gore, torture

starring Cate Blanchett, Christopher Eccleston, Geoffrey Rush, Joseph Fiennes, Daniel Craig, Richard Attenborough

This dramatic retelling of the early years of Queen Elizabeth I’s reign over England opens at the death of Catholic Queen Mary in 1558, whose demise brings her half-sister Elizabeth to the forefront. Elizabeth must battle the unforgiving French abroad, dangerous conspirators at home, and at times even her own advisors as they push their agenda onto the young queen. As she grows in experience, Elizabeth learns to put her own needs before the mischief of the court and the confusion of unbalanced alliances, declares her undying love for her people, and establishes herself as one of England’s strongest rulers to date.

I really enjoyed the strength and grace carried by the entire film. Overall, the film maintained an air of dramatic tension, but never felt as though it strayed from the truth of Elizabeth’s story. I do think that, at times, the film felt perhaps too historical though, like a documentary. At moments of high stress, such as assassination attempts or uncovering the conspirators, the film felt a little too factual instead of emotional. It continued the same tone and level of emotion throughout, instead of raising it and lowering it with each scene. That said, Blanchett performed impeccably as Elizabeth, bearing the dignity of a monarch so fluidly you might think she truly was one. Every emotional response was executed so fully that it was as if the audience was given a real look into her life, rather than watching a mere biography. Even though many of the actors in this film are well-loved, I feel like the film could have done more with them at times. Eccleston played a manipulative villain who truly believed he had the best intentions for his country, but he was given far less screen time than he deserved. I would have loved a deeper insight into the complexity of this character, which Eccleston tried to deliver fully in every scene, but there simply wasn’t enough time with him. Similarly, Craig was on screen for mere moments at a time, with few to no lines, yet the audience was expected to fear him and worry for Elizabeth’s safety. Craig’s character was truly menacing, namely in the scene where he walks down the hall in the dark with his robes billowing, but we saw so little of him that he felt almost insignificant to the overall story. The film was over two hours, but with this cast I would have loved to see a limited series or something of that nature, just to provide more depth to the story. As a side note, I don’t know how historically accurate this film was, so I’m not going to comment extensively on that. If that was something you were looking for, you won’t find it here. 7/10

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

TW: blood, gore, fascism, war

starring Ivana Baquero, Maribel Verdú, Sergi López, Doug Jones, Ariadna Gil, Álex Angulo

Ofelia, a young girl caught between her love of fantasy and the horrors of fascism surrounding her, finds herself pulled into a mysterious world after she meets a Faun in a nearby haunting labyrinth. The Faun orders her to complete three tasks to prove that her soul is unchanged and that she remains the true princess of the Underworld. As she struggles to complete these tasks, Ofelia’s life is threatened on many occasions, both from the fantastical world of the Faun and the human world she’s forced to remain in. Horror and death strike as her home falls to the revolution, and they quickly catch up with her, even as she strives to protect the life of her newborn brother and understand who she is truly meant to be.

This was an absolutely fascinating film. The settings alone were absolutely haunting, from the camp to the woods to the labyrinth, but most especially the Pale Man’s table. The attention to detail at every point brought this story to life, and truly filled you with constant dread. The way the Captain carried himself, the pile of worn-down shoes in the corner, the pomegranate on the Pale Man’s table, the microexpressions on every character’s face, Ofelia’s green dress (reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland, especially within the context of the scene)... Every small detail contributed to the story, even when they aren’t actively moving the plot along. There was never a moment for the audience to feel relief or victory, even as Ofelia overcame trial after trial. I spent the entire film waiting for the next terrible thing to happen, but instead of being exhausting like other movies, this one has me thinking about it nonstop. I watched it the day before writing this, and I can only think of watching it again. I feel like it demands a second viewing to truly understand it, which is a marvelously rare feeling for me. The acting is also truly exceptional. Child actors tend to struggle with conveying complex emotion on screen, but Baquero conducted herself with the grace and skill of any experienced adult. She pulled at the childlike wonder in me, but still grounded my adult side with her gravity. Ofelia carried the burden of trauma, but never relinquished the belief in something more; Baquero conveyed that in a most excellent fashion. All of the actors were phenomenal, but Baquero outshone them. Also a brief aside: Jones was incredible as the Faun and the Pale Man. I’ve never felt so wildly uncomfortable or threatened as I did watching the Pale Man walk around. I hated it viscerally from an emotional standpoint, but from the film and acting perspectives, Jones created something mind-blowing. I definitely had to be mentally and emotionally prepared to watch this film, but it truly was a masterpiece. 10/10

The Garden of Words (2013)

starring Irino Miyu, Hanazawa Kana

Rainy days bring lonesome highschooler, Akizuki Takao, and struggling adult, Yukino Yukari, together at the Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden. Takao shares his dreams of becoming a shoemaker, but Yukari says very little about herself, instead focusing on supporting Takao’s goals. When the rainy season ends, the two don’t see each other for the rest of the summer. When school resumes, Takao accidentally learns a devastating truth about Yukari, but it doesn’t change the way he feels about her. His naive love, however, changes everything.

I greatly enjoyed the aesthetic of this film. It took place mostly in the beautiful gardens, with artistic emphasis on the water, trees, and plants that surround the character. It was truly beautiful to look at, and really serves to push the audience toward visiting the actual garden as well. The artists also focused in great detail on the small movements of the characters; each emotional change was reflected in their movements, which you don’t often see done so gently in any realm of animation. The whole film felt incredibly soft and touching, and truly brought to life the small moments that make living so special. Despite the artistic aspect being so beautifully done, I felt the story to be a bit lacking. While I enjoyed Takao’s story, and much of his process was befitting of a 15 year old boy, I felt that he could’ve been given more depth. Basically all of his potential for personality was crammed into the last five minutes, and what we got was beautiful. I definitely felt that the movie could have been longer than 45 minutes to accommodate this character expansion. The same can be said for Yukari. Her twist was monumental to the plot, but we didn’t get to see what the real impact of it was. She says throughout the film that she has to learn how to walk again, and we learn that she has some kind of physical disorder, but we never learn what that is and how it ties into her mental health, which seems to be addressed as an entirely separate point. We got several scenes of her alone, so even though Takao didn’t know much about her (which fit the story well), the audience certainly would have benefitted from learning more about her character, especially for the climactic end scene. Lastly, their relationship was kind of natural, if uncomfortable, at first--it makes sense for Takao, a young impressionable teenager, to fall in love with an older woman--but then it takes a turn for the hugely unhealthy--Yukari puts the burden of her own mental health on the shoulders of a boy--and this is implied to be okay. The film didn’t outright condone it, but it also didn’t condemn the potentially toxic dynamic. I wouldn’t say it was a pedophilic relationship by any means, but it was definitely unhealthy at its core; you could see hints of it over the course of the film, even though the story maintained its innocence. It’s definitely playing with fire though. 6/10

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven // Part Eight // Part Nine

[keldae]

Drastic Measures -- Chapter 29

“Your brother told us part of what had happened to you,” Lana shook her head as they walked down the killik tunnel, leaving the rest of the new arrivals from Dantooine to scatter into the rest of the cell, “but the full story is even more insane.”

“Tell me about it,” Xaja muttered. “I’m considering switching career paths and becoming an author.”

Lana’s lips twitched in a smile. “You would have to market this as fictional, I'm afraid. No one would ever believe it to be true.”

“If I hadn't just lived it, I wouldn’t either.” Theron looked over at Xaja and lightly nudged her arm. “As co-star of your future bestseller, do I get royalties?”

Xaja laughed as she followed Lana around a curve in the tunnel, opening up to what seemed to be the main command hub of the base. “Naturally. Hopefully this story gets a happy ending.”

“We’ll do our best to make certain that happens,” Lana reassured the Jedi with a smile. “Keeping you alive and out of Arcann’s hands is our goal.”

“And pissing Arcann off with our continuous survival is my current objective in life.”

On Lana’s other side, the Zakuulan officer she had introduced as Koth Vortena grinned. “That’s a good objective to have. Assassin or not, you’re all right, Outlander.”

“I do my best,” Xaja smirked, deciding she liked Koth already. Her first instinct upon Lana introducing him as a Zakuulan defector was one of caution and worry, but within a few moments of meeting him, she and Theron both relaxed. She resisted the urge to ask what had driven him away from Zakuul. That could wait… for now.

Beside her, Theron lowly whistled as he looked around the base. “I knew there was a cell here, but I didn’t realize it was this expansive. This is all Thunder’s network?”

“To the best of my knowledge, most of it is.” Lana nodded in confirmation as she led them up the ramp of one of the larger command platforms. “We’re reconvening here to plan our next movements. Thunder still has assets across the galaxy, but they’re remaining in place for the time being.”

“Any thoughts as to those next steps?” Xaja asked as she flopped into a metal chair beside a table covered in datapads and flimsi pages. 

“Take stock of our losses from Dantooine; determine how many of us can still move freely without attracting a legion of bounty hunters; and then find a new location to serve as headquarters. Thunder has indicated that they want to increase the rebellion’s power base, which will mean more resources than we can accumulate by having several scattered little cells. Tatooine served as the last major base, but with your brother attacking the Star Fortress bunker there, the system’s now too dangerous for us to hide in.”

Xaja felt a little burst of pride that Korin, her renegade, responsibility-dodging brother, had led the strike team that landed such a successful hit on one of Zakuul’s most visible assets. Being an active leader in the rebellion might make a responsible adult out of Korin yet. “But between that hit, Theron and I dodging capture this long, and the loss of the Zakuulan forces on the ship on Dantooine…”

“He’s gotta be furious,” Theron finished with a grin, leaning against the table beside Xaja. The bond rippled with a feeling of smug satisfaction.

A grin pulled at Xaja’s mouth, only to fade at the thoughts of what could come of Arcann growing vindictive. “Is he taking it out on anyone else?” she asked. Stars, if he was anything like Darth Angral had been… 

“Not yet -- or at least, not as far as we know.” Koth sat down in another chair and scrubbed long fingers across his goatee. “Besides the attack on Dantooine, and reinforcements arriving as we were leaving Tatooine, nobody’s heard of another conflict recently. My crew -- they deserted with me when I left Zakuul —  they’re keeping an eye on things from a distance.”

“There are still Eternal Fleet ships stationed at Coruscant,” Lana added. “And after learning you had been on Dromund Kaas, Arcann sent some of his forces there to investigate. But with your brother having fled already and Acina having no idea about you being on the planet, the pressure has lessened there… from Zakuul, at any rate.”

“Last I’ve heard,” Sorand added as he walked up the ramp, having been held back by Shara and Corey for a few minutes. “The tensions between the Republic and the Empire are escalating. Saresh is calling you both traitors to the Republic — sorry about that — and claiming you’ve been working with me since the Revanite crisis. Which technically isn’t wrong…”

“The schutta ,” Xaja hissed as she felt Theron settle his hand on her arm. “She’s saying that publicly?”

“And kriffing over any chance you might have had of being able to disappear into the Republic,” Sorand muttered as he frowned down at a datapad in his hands. “From what I’m reading, it’s full-blown propaganda. She’s probably hoping for any loyal citizens who see either of you to turn you in as traitors.”

“Which gets Arcann off her neck,” Theron muttered. “The Empire?”

“While she might, in other circumstances, do so, Acina’s acting thoroughly insulted by the notion that she would ever have an allegiance with a Jedi.” Sorand rolled his eyes. “Besides naming me a traitor, and putting Lana and Dad about a step below me on the most-wanted list, she’s made a comeback at Saresh along the lines of calling her a slave-race coward who can’t admit she can’t find two high-profile war heroes-turned-traitors.”

Xaja winced at that. Theron’s own cringe echoed along the bond as he spoke up again. “Dare I ask what Saresh said in response to that?”

“Probably not,” Koth commented. “But if this keeps up, it’s going to turn into a galactic-stage catfight.”

“I’d find that more amusing if we weren’t stuck in the middle of it with Zakuul tearing the galaxy apart looking for us,” Xaja muttered.

“Both Saresh and Acina will be hesitant to go to open war,” Lana interjected with a frown. “With Commander Malcom walking away from the Republic, and Acina missing the two top assets in Sith Intelligence and one of the surviving Dark Council, they’re both strategically crippled. And that’s without mentioning how few Jedi remain, or how many soldiers from both sides have followed their chosen leaders into rebellion.”

“They just have their own fleets and militaries, and more resources to their names,” Koth grumbled. 

“But while they’re threatening each other with said fleets,” Sorand started, “this is the perfect time for the resistance to vanish. Considering we’re not sure how long Alderaan will be safe, I feel like we should find a new base soon. Arcann’s not going to greatly care about the Republic and Empire clawing at each other, not while he’s still looking for you two.” He nodded at Theron and Xaja. 

“There’s too many high-value targets here, and too many civilians who could be endangered by us,” Xaja muttered. “Worst case scenario, how long could the resistance keep running?”

“Perhaps another few years. But I’d rather not see it come to that.” Sorand hummed in thought. “The galaxy is vast enough that we should be able to find an unpopulated planet, or one with a low population. Perhaps Rakata Prime?”

“Force knows there shouldn’t be too many live Rakata left there after Revan bombarded the place,” Xaja said.

“Not Rakata, but there have been Republic historians exploring that world since the fall of the Revanites,” Theron spoke up. “Not to mention that it’s near to the Core.” And too close to Coruscant went unspoken.

“That one ice ball from hell -- Hoth, maybe?” Koth offered. “Distant Outer Rim, and nobody sane goes there.”

“Aside from both Imperial and Republic forces trying to raid the starship ruins, and pirates crawling all over the place. Rumour has it there’s a new Star Fortress being constructed in the Hoth system as well.” Lana frowned at her crossed arms, then looked up. “I don’t suppose there are any other abandoned Jedi planets like Tython to be reclaimed?”

“If Ahch-To or Ossus had been found, it would have been all over the Holonet by now,” Sorand mused, running a hand over his own scruff in thought. Xaja barely had time to be surprised by the fact that her brother seemingly was familiar with Jedi history, or to remind herself that his academic leanings and his insatiable curiosity about the Jedi would have pushed him to learn all he could about the near-mythical Jedi worlds. “Yavin is the only other system I can think of that might work, but it’s uncomfortably close to Imperial territory. It’s something we’ll need to think about while we plan our next moves. Maybe we can find an uninhabited moon somewhere.”

“Cipher Nine may also have contacts who can help us,” Lana suggested. 

“That wouldn’t surprise me. I swear my father knows at least half the galaxy, and there has to be a decent number that don’t want to shoot him… somewhere.” A grin flickered across Sorand’s face for a second. “When he gets in, I’ll talk to him, see if he has any suggestions.”

That was a reasonable strategy. Xaja was pretty sure Sorand wasn’t exaggerating the claim of how many people their father knew. And Force knew the old spy could be… persuasive. “When is he expected?”

“Within the next couple of days, I think.” Sorand straightened up from where he had been leaning against a console. “Anything else that anyone wants to discuss right now?”

Silence answered him for a moment before Koth shook his head. “I dunno, I think that got just about everything important. I’ll send a ping out to my crew on Asylum, see if they’ve got any leads for uninhabited planets they’ve found.”

“Thank you, Koth.” Lana stood up and gave Xaja and Theron a smile. “Corey’s been in contact with Mandalore; I had best check in with her latest updates. We’ll have a chance to catch up soon.” 

Theron nodded as the blonde Sith took her leave of the platform, then looked back at Koth. “So, former Zakuulan Navy, huh?”

“Yep. Captain and only decent pilot in my crew…”

Xaja looked away from the conversation, making eye contact with Sorand. He subtly nodded, indicating the far corner. She rose and fell into step with him as they stepped off the platform, leaving Theron and Koth to talk.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Sorand let the worried frown show on his face. “You said things wound up… complicated?” he softly asked, touching his forehead. “You feel… better, almost like normal.”

Xaja nodded. “The Dreamwalkers had been wiped out,” she quietly answered, and saw Sorand’s shoulders slump at the news. “There were other Voss healers who helped me as much as they could.”

“But…?”

“He’s still in my head.” Xaja shuddered as Sorand sighed in worried disappointment, raking a hand through his hair. “They think they’ve managed to suppress him for the time being.” She hesitated, worrying her lower lip for an instant. “You know that bond I had with Theron before…?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Annya froze as her boot touched down on the duracrete floor of the Republic-friendly spaceport. Ignoring Jonas bumping into her back, she stretched out her focus, closing her eyes. She could pick up on Jakar Forseti’s nearby Force-signature as he landed the Balance of Justice, and could recognize a few Organa civilians whom she’d met on earlier visits. But right then, she didn’t care about that.

It was what she could sense a couple of kilometres distant that demanded her attention. Her brow furrowed slightly when she recognized her aunt’s presence — what the blazes is Aunt Mairen doing here? But that was quickly put to the side, to think about later. 

A slight nudge confirmed Xaja’s presence, and Annya grinned as her cousin reached back, just able to feel the other Jedi’s delighted surprise. She lightly pushed again, getting a read on her cousin’s well-being. The younger woman felt alright — no flares of pain, no lines of grief or rage. There was a strange darkness clouding part of her signature, and beside that, a small thread of light that Annya was pretty sure hadn’t been there before. But that was something to worry about later. Xaja wasn’t physically hurt, and if she wasn’t being consumed by grief, Agent Shan had to be here too.

She turned to face a confused-looking Jonas and gave him a delighted smile. “Xaja made it. She’s here. And I’m pretty sure Theron is too.”

Jonas’ eyes widened in relief as he let out a breath. “Good!” He nodded before his eyes narrowed dangerously. “Theron better be here. That asshole has a punch coming that he deserves.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Xaja suddenly fell silent mid-sentence as a bright Force-signature she knew made itself known only a short distance away. Ignoring Sorand frowning in confusion, she reached out, and felt a familiar nudge pressing against her mind. Joy flooded through her as she recognized her cousin, a delight she could feel echoed in the Force.

She turned her attention back to the present as Doc made his way over to her and Sorand. “Annya’s here!” she exclaimed, turning to Doc with a happy smile.

“Annya? That cousin of yours on Corellia?” Doc grinned. “Hells, today’s full of good news, Red.”

Sorand blinked in surprise. “Wait — we have another cousin?”

“Yes! Annya is a Green Jedi who—” Another presence made itself known on the planet surface; the recognition of that presence sent shock flooding through Xaja’s veins, her words dying in her mouth again. Impossible! He was killed months before Zakuul hit… unless he…

Shock turned to confusion, then joy, then what could be best described as indignant fury. “I’m going to kill him,” Xaja hissed. She ignored Theron’s sudden confusion over their bond, or the slight hint of subtle, smug amusement from the new presence.

Doc frowned for a moment before his eyes widened knowingly, a grin appearing under the mustache. “Only one person would make you react like that, Red. Jakar isn’t dead after all?”

“Not yet, he’s not,” Xaja growled as she turned and began stalking toward the central hub of the hive, still inwardly debating if she was going to hug the Barsen’thor of the Jedi Order before strangling him.

Behind her, Doc took a step to follow, stopped by Sorand’s hand on his shoulder. “Not to interrupt,” the Sith slowly said, “but would you mind explaining what the Hells that was all about?”

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“I’m relieved you’re all right,” Senya said as she walked through the killik tunnels with Satele, their bootsteps echoing in the cave. “From arriving here and realizing nobody else knew where you were…”

“I’m relieved to be alive too.” Satele smiled and offered Senya’s arm a squeeze. “I was pleased to hear you had made it here with no problems.”

“None to speak of,” agreed Senya. She gave Satele a sidelong look as they walked for a few paces further. “While I was here, I did not find a way to heal my children, but I did learn something about… about your son.”

Satele’s eyes were cautious when they looked back at Senya, but she did finally nod. “So you know who he is,” she finally said. It was a statement, not a question.

Senya nodded. “I hardly blame you for keeping that quiet.” 

“I am not convinced that he was planning an attack like what Arcann claims.” Satele pursed her lips as the two women rounded a corner in the tunnel, coming across a busy crowd. Apparently more rebels had just arrived. “I don’t know what he was doing there, but terrorism wasn’t on his agenda. It’s not his style.”

“It could be argued that freeing someone accused of regicide is terrorism,” Senya commented.

“I’m not sure that he would care in that respect.” Satele strained to look out over the crowd. “Not when he was…” She paused, a frown marring her features. “Watching him after Master Taerich was declared killed in action… I didn’t know if he would ever be happy again. He was devastated.”

Senya slowly nodded as she followed Satele’s gaze. Her eyes landed on a handsome young man in a bright red jacket, currently talking with Captain Vortena and Lord Beniko— Lana, as the Sith had insisted on being addressed. She knew his face well from studying the bulletins, but seeing him in person, she could see now how much he favoured his mother in terms of appearance. He certainly didn’t look like the type of person to orchestrate a plan to blow up an entire city, especially not when he smiled and his amber eyes softened. 

A commotion off to her right stole her attention. Turning away from Satele’s son, the Knight focused immediately on the girl who had reportedly murdered Valkorion. Senya’s first impression was of brightness — vivid red hair, a blazing, almost-familiar presence in the Force, and a delighted smile as she ran to embrace another redhaired woman in Jedi clothing who had entered the cavern. She certainly didn’t resemble a coldhearted assassin. If anything, her bright presence almost reminded her of Vaylin… or how Vaylin had been before she had been taken to Nathema. 

The former Knight of Zakuul sighed and dropped her gaze from the Jedi girl. “I can’t blame you for not telling me their names,” she quietly said, low enough that Satele had to strain to hear her. “I can hardly judge.” She took a shaky breath and looked at the former Grand Master, watching the Jedi’s eyes go wide with shock at her next words. “Not when my son is the one hunting them down.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fury raged through Arcann’s veins as he stalked back and forth in front of the Eternal Throne. The next person to deliver bad news to him was likely to be thrown off the walkway, run through with a lightsaber, or perhaps simply crushed to death with the Force.

The teams sent  to Tatooine turned up little more than exhaust fumes from the departed rebels. The inept Paladin had been far too slow to catch the resistance as they fled from the Fleet. For all that Arcann knew, Thunder themselves had been in that base, escaping before they could risk capture. Taking down the reputed coordinator of a sizable resistance group would be almost as great a boost to morale as capturing Taerich or Shan.

And that was another subject that enraged him. The few fragments of data collected from the ruins of the Dantooine outpost hinted that the two fugitives had been there; the former Jedi Grand Master had been confirmed by the presence of her personal ship. And yet, the Eternal Fleet patrol ship and its entire crew had been destroyed. He was still no closer to knowing who was responsible.

Had it been the Republic, coming to save their precious Jedi? The Empire, seeking Jedi playthings and not wanting to share? Imperius, or forces loyal to him, rushing to aid his Jedi sister and her people? Thunder’s forces? Arcann scowled behind his mask. There were too many options, too many variables, and not nearly enough answers.

“Brother.” Vaylin’s voice finally cut through the cloud of rage in Arcann’s mind. Judging from her tone, and her raised eyebrow and crossed arms, she had been trying to get his attention for some time now. “If you’re done stomping about for now?”

“There had better be an update,” Arcann growled as he stormed back up to the Throne, practically throwing himself into the seat. One eye glowered up at her. “What do you have?”

“Republic agents were seen on Dantooine, going through the ruins. Judging by the communications we were able to intercept, the poor idiots had no idea the outpost was even there.” Vaylin shrugged. “Clearly the Republic is even more inept than we thought, or it was a classified black-ops mission of sorts.”

The Republic, by all accounts, did have a few elite black ops teams who had survived the war and occupation. They had not been a priority of late, but Arcann filed that notion away for later consideration. His thoughts then lit on the one completely capable Republic commander he knew. “And Commander Malcom?”

“House Organa claims he’s been an honoured guest at their estate on Alderaan, this whole time. The spaceport records seem to support the claim.” Vaylin shrugged. “I suppose he really doesn’t care about his bastard son. Or he’s as stupid as the rest of the Republic and didn’t know about the Jedi outpost, or where Shan was last reported.”

That sounded like something Valkorion would have done, had he been in the same position as Malcom with the knowledge of where his offspring were. But if the Republic’s intelligence services hadn’t known about the Jedi hideout, perhaps the former Supreme Commander simply hadn’t known, either. “Has he been seen by any of our people?”

“He’s withdrawn into the castle after hearing about the raid.” Her voice was thick with contempt as she continued, “He’s reportedly in mourning .”

That was definitely not something Valkorion would have done. Arcann shrugged to himself. Malcom was clearly weak. “Anything else?”

“Still no news from the Empire regarding Imperius. But I do have one more little thing.” A smile pulled at Vaylin’s lips. “A diplomatic envoy from the Republic has contacted our diplomats, requesting parlay. Apparently the Senate believes that, since Satele Shan’s ship was on Dantooine and her body wasn’t, she was taken prisoner.” For a moment, the smile vanished in a frown. “Of course, this could be terribly awkward if news gets out that we don’t have her.”

“If news gets out,” Arcann said, grinning under his mask. This, he thought, could be a useful advantage. If Taerich and Shan had been on Dantooine, they had to know that the Grand Master wasn’t a captive. But the Senate didn’t need to know that, and it was doubtful Taerich or Shan would be in contact with the Chancellor. Then again, if the two fugitives hadn’t been on Dantooine at the time of the attack...

Yes… yes, he could use this.

[aboyandhisstarship]

SICON verse: the interview/Kvella

Kvella moved down the corridor of the council news service, an private company who handles broadcasting over the councils subspace bands, she entered the office of her Boss a Kalber who groaned “the public is demanding more information after that footage leaked!”

Kvella asked “footage sir?”

The boss asked “you haven’t seen it?” pulling up the shaky footage from Sorak 9, it was clearly shot by civilian who typed a Human protecting a Kalber, the human grunted and groaned in its language before the Kalber followed the Human back to a group of other’s. The Human kept grunting and groaning before the other humans chanted something then a little bit latter there was a massive roar as 5 objects blasted through the air before the footage went crazy after there was a flash of white and the video ended.

Kvella asked “uhh what was that?”

The boss answered “exactly! No one knows and the public wants to know!”

Kvella asked “you contact SICON press division?”

The boss groaned saying “the human kept saying called…classified no idea what it means.”

Kvella experimented with the English word “class-a-fried?”

The boss said “something like that…listen I called in a couple of favors and found out about the Kalber in the footage, His name is Specialist T’Mai and get this…he is currently assigned to a SICON ship.”

Kvella said “so no chance of an interview?”

The boss said “who said that? Not me…The council needs interest in this war and the humans want to improve their image on the galactic scale…so you are being brought aboard The SICON ship Watson for a little while.”

Kvella asked  “sir why me?”

The boss said simply “SICON needed someone with experience in bad spots as a requirement for the job”

Kvella nodded “and I was in the piece core…”

The boss said “exactly…you are on the next shop heading for Fleet station nine.”

Kvella said “sir?”

The boss laughed “human outpost…Pack light you leave in an hour.”

 The Watson:

Lieutenant Ericson entered the bridge of the Watson saluting saying “you sent for me sir?”

The Captain nodded adjusting her hat saying “Will I’m sorry.”

Ericson asked “what exactly is going on Hailey?”

The Captain said “sorry this is official Ships business.”

Ericson chuckled “my apologized Captain Hernandez…should I have to squad prepped?”

Hernandez shook her head saying “not physically…command just came informed me that a council reporter is coming aboard…and will be assigned to Dagger.”

Ericson said “permission to protest this for the record?”

Hernandez nodded “permission granted.”

Ericson said “that’s a pile of nonsense; we don’t have time for a tourist.”

Hernandez chuckled “your protest has been noted…she will be coming aboard when we stop at Fleet station nine I suggest you prep your squad Lieutenant, dismissed.”

Ericson sighed saying “yes ma’am.”

 Dagger squad Quarters:

Sargent Francis Mulligan saw Ericson coming flying to his feet shouting “officer on deck!”

The rest of the squad hurried to their feet and to attention as Ericson saying “at ease…everyone we will be having someone else joining us for a short time.”

Mulligan asked “who exactly sir?”

Ericson sighed “a reporter from the council news service.”

Madeline Depoint Team medic/doctor asked in accented English “why exactly would a reporter want to speak with us?”

Futuba Kurogane the team’s combat engineer, computer genius   and “baby” of the squad answered simply “because of the humans can fly incident…”

Ericson said “that what!?”

Futuba rolled her eyes “remember that air strike back on Sorak nine?”

T’Mai eyes went wide “that’s what they have been asking me about?”

Francis said “what is that Hitchhiker!?”

T’Mai growled saying “my family has been writing me letters asking for how long have humans been able to fly.”

Ericson nodded “apparently a lot of council civs are getting weirded out…to the point Command is worried we could have an image problem and has allowed this reporter to come aboard.

Francis crossed his arms “sure bring a tourist along is wise LT?”

Ericoson frowned “decision has been made Sargent! But I checked her out she is legit, former war reporter with the Council peace core”

Francis stepped back chastised as Ericson said “since she will be joining us for a bit we need to on our best behavior, Understood!?”

Everyone chanted in unison “Sir Yes sir!”

Ericson nodded “alright, carry on I got some paperwork to fill out” before he turned to leave.

Madeline asked “soo this video?”

Futuba smiled “ill pull it up.”

Fleet station nine:

Petty Officer Melissa woods waited patiently in full dress uniform outside of the Medical Bay. After a minute the Alien exited Kvella looked kind of like resembled an earth squid equipped with an torso and arms and legs, she looked around before making eye contact with the Yeoman.

Woods smiled “I assume you passed your medical checks ma’am?”

Kvella answered “yes I did…?”

Woods smiled “Petty officer Melissa Woods I will be taking you aboard the Watson and giving you the standard tour.”

Kvella nodded a little drone like device buzzing around her shoulder as she asked “Petty officer Woods…do you speak for SICON?”

Woods frowned “ma’am?”

Kvella asked “Are you who I am going to be interviewing?”

Woods shook her head saying “no ma’am that will be dagger squad…your news service was quite adamant about speaking to them.”

Kvella opened her eyes wide “the same humans form the humans can fly video?”

Woods blinked “ma’am?”

Kvella smiled “apologies Petty Officer please show me your vessel.”

Lieutenant Ericson’s office six hours Later:

The human shifted awkwardly He was wearing a brownish T-shirt with SICON logo on it a pair of Cargo pants and had a medal Necklace hanging over the front of his shirt that he called his “Dog tags.” Kvella’s drone hung nearby it’s Universal translator microphone pointing at the human who asked “you sure I should not be in dress uniform for this?”

Kvella made a gurgling noise roughly equivalent to human laughter “don’t worry about Lieutenant…we are going for an informal feeling”

The human shifted saying “I’m really not a PR guy…”

Kvella asked “PR?”

The human made an odd noise that the subtitles described as a chuckle “public relations.”

Kvella nodded “well let’s get started a reminder that is going to broadcast all over council space.”

The human went red before baring its teeth “uhh hi everyone?”

Kvella shuttered “please don’t do that…”

The human asked “do wha…oh yea sorry” closing its mouth.

Kvella gurgled again before saying “soo the first question is the big one what exactly was those birds?”

The human frowned “birds…wait what birds?” the footage from the flying human incident was shown with subtitles showing what the humans were saying.

Kvella said “those birds…you referred to them as Rollers.”

The human scratched his head saying “those are planes…do you guys really not have planes?”

Kvella looked at him blankly as the human explained “a long time ago A couple of brothers living in a place called Ohio decided that they wanted to fly so they crashed a bunch of prototype’s until they eventually succeeded for about 14 seconds. After that aircraft have been developed and used in many of the major conflicts on earth as well as the first contact incident.”

Kvella asked “so humans can fly using machines…do they flip like wings?”

Ericson shook his head “no…the planes used in that footage are jet propelled aircraft.”

Kvella asked “jet?”

Ericson recited “Jet propulsion is the propulsion of an object in one direction, produced by ejecting a jet of fluid in the opposite direction. By Newton's third law, the moving body is propelled in the opposite direction to the jet. Or in layman’s term we shoot something out of the back of the plane that pushes it forward at high speeds.” Kvella replied “wow that is…insane!”

Ericson nodded “I guess it is ma’am…I am no expert on that topic so you have any more aircraft related questions I can’t help you.”

Kvella asked “so what about that flash in the video.”

Ericson nodded “that was dentation of a low yield tactical nuclear device.”

Kvella said “wait a nuclear bomb?”

Ericson answered “it was a low yield device.”

The Lieutenants console lit up and he said “sorry ma’am but you can’t be here for this communication…we will have to resume this interview later.”

Kvella turned to the camera “stay tuned for more exclusive interviews.”

 Dagger squad quarters:

The drone drifted in to see a group of different humans doing various things, one was on her bunk reading a book another was on her computer and another was playing a video game the Camera locked on to the Kalber as Kvella approached “T’Mai?”

The Kalber glanced up from his grooming saying “yes?”

Kvella said “I’m Kvella from the council news service I would like to interview you about what’s it’s like on a human ship?”

Before T’Mai could say anything one of humans grunted the subtitles reading “officer on deck!”

The camera whipped around as Ericson entered saying “listen up! We got a group of dug in bugs on Tozau. Council folks already landed but they want us behind the lines we are out of the Chekov and ready to drop in forty questions?”

Ericson looked into the camera saying “Futuba…get the reporter combat ready.”

Watson equipment room T minus 27 minutes until drop.

A wide shot was shown as Kvella was standing up a young human fitting a metal casing around her body the subtitle’s displayed  “this is your power suit…it will keep you alive as well as in contact with the rest of the squad when we land.”

Kvella asked “land?”

The young human said “yep orbital insertion” Kvella looked like she was ready to protest but was cut off as the human held up a slivery weapon saying “this is Marita A14 P pulse rifle it fires projectiles very fast and can punch holes through bugs like they were not even there, underneath it is a grenade launcher for explosive’s.”

Kvella said “of course.”

The Human said “alright you’re ready…as you will ever be.”

The screen went black before cutting to a helmet camera inside of a tight capsule subtitles reading “inside of the human drop capsule just before dropping out of hyperspace”  as second later the Camera Jerked around hard for several seconds as the subtitles read “dropping out of hyperspace” there was a loud noise and a tap on Capsule the subtitle’s read “they are checking that I am set” Kvella hit the capsule back making a taping noise.

Human grunts were heard over a loud speaker the subtitle’s said “Dagger squad coordinates dropping now!”

The capsule began to lurch before it shook again once hard before it began to vibrate and Kvella was heard screaming the subtitle’s said “drop has started”

The vibrating got worse as the camera shook, rocking form side to side as the subtitles explained “the capsule is shedding outer layers making the falling capsule harder to track using computers.”

A minute of shaking later the entire capsule opened up and the camera was pointed at the sky seeing Anti-aircraft explosions before the camera flipped around to see other sets of power amour bellow rapidly approaching the ground.

The wings open up on the back of the suits deploying rockets, a second later the camera started freaking out as the subtitles read “my jets just activated.”

The camera hit the ground shaking for a second as loud noises was heard everywhere and Ericson spoke “Move out! Kvella turn that thing off!”

The camera went black.

When the camera turned back on when it hit the ground Kvella leaned over a dirt mound as a bug charged but was shot by a human whose helmet had the name “Depoint” written on the side, the medic said “Stay close Kvella”

The camera showed the other side of the dirt mound as hundred’s bugs charged. It looked down to see the Mortia rifle in Kvella’s hand start firing.”

Depoint fired a series of bombs blowing bugs up before moving out of the shoot as a giant Bug charged the camera rolled again and went black.

The camera was on the ground as a human groaning was heard the subtitle’s translating “corpsmen!”

The power armored human leaned down adjusting something out of the camera view before groaning in response the subtitles reading “she is hit but it’s not bad she is just out of it.”

Another human groaned subtitles reading “good work Depoint! On your feet tourist!”

Kvella was dragged up by Depoint and Mulligan as a human groaning was heard the subtitles reading “come on you want to live forever!” the camera want black again.

 Watson infirmary:

The drone buzzed over to Kvella’s bed side as the human grunted smiling “you wasted a good set of power amour you know”

Kvella said “Sorry…”

The human said “don’t be…you did good work…for a tourist.”

Kvella made a gurgle noise before one of pain saying “stop being amusing human!”

Ericson shook his head “get well soon…” before the camera went black

[mountaindelta]

"If you woke up this morning, then you have another chance."

My grandmother used to say that all the time. She never explained what the second chance was for or why. In hindsight I saw that it was a blanket statement that covered anything. Get personal with it and think of it like this: "God woke me up this morning. He's given me another chance to do what He's asked of me" or "God allowed me to wake up this morning so I can try and mend my broken relationship with xxxx.) I like to look at it like this: "Why did God allow me to get out of bed this morning? Why has He gifted me another day on earth? What is my deliberate mission that He wants me to do today? What is the thing that He's keeping me alive to do?"

I'd like to get personal and intimate for just a minute. I've been blessed beyond belief with chance after chance, not only with sobriety, but life in general. Relationships that were lost because of my selfish addictions are being restored. My relationship with God is being restored. Since I began my walk with Christ, He's had me preaching from the pulpit, crying at the alter and listening from the pews. He's had me involved in things that I never would have done on my own. I've worn many titles and been called lots of things. Things like dopehead, drunk, racist, scumbag, piece of shxt, klansman, felon, sexist, violent, hate monger, no good, skinhead etc. Titles you don't want to put on a resume. I embrace the fact that I have one true title now: "A Child of the King."

I have this cool little box in my office. It's got some sentimental things in it. It has a few tie tacks I was given for production and safety awards, challenge coins from both the military and companies I've worked with offshore, old hunting licenses and federal and state duck stamps. There's patches, a small pocket knife that my uncle carried while he was beating the crap out of the Nazis at Monte Cassino, and some of my father's Air Force and Masonic stuff. There are a few more things in there. Those are the ones I'd to share.

Each one of those coin like pieces of metal are called sobriety chips. They are Alcoholic Anonymous awards given for different lengths of clean time. Each one represents a second chance that God gave me to stay clean. If you look closely, you'll see several shiny silver ones. Those are 24 hour chips. You're given that if you've been clean for one day and night. In my opinion, it's the most important chip to receive. If you look close enough you'll see that I have more of those than any other. Back then I was very stubborn about recovery, and in some ways I still am.

I have gotten clean and relapsed so many times that it's hard to count. But after each one, my heart was screaming " I DON'T LIKE THIS AND I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE." God would hear the screams and step in to intervene. As long as I had God filling the void in my heart, I was successful. But my disease (who I like to refer to as Satan) would whisper "I'm proud of you. Look how far you have come. Look how good you feel now. Look at all the great things you are doing. Look at everyone telling you what a good job you've done. Everyone has put you on this pedestal because you deserve to be there. Look at all the people you're helping. You accomplished this all by yourself without the help of anyone. And all this time you thought you needed God!"

Cunning, baffling and powerful. That's what the disease of addiction is. I don't know of any other ailment man can have that constantly tries to convince you that you aren't sick. The apostle Paul talked of a thorn in his flesh. He said it was a messenger from Satan that was sent to buffet (strike repeatedly) him. Theologians have argued that passage up and down as to exactly what that thorn was. I can only talk with certainty about my own thorn. Addiction. My addictions remind me that the enemy is right around the corner, waiting and watching. For every millisecond that I don't fall for his trap, God's glory shines through.

When God commissioned me to start doing recovery work in McDowell County, I was pretty sure he had picked the wrong dude. I was by far the LEAST qualified person to do it. How was I to help others when I constantly have World War three going on between my ears? Why didn't He get someone who knew what they were doing? Did He forget about my track record? What in the world is He thinking? And then God reminded me of Moses.

When God told Moses to get his kinfolks out of Egypt..... here came the excuses. "I'm not good enough, I don't have all the answers, folks won't believe me, I suck at public speaking, I'm really not qualified etc." When Moses finally obeyed, we all know how that turned out. One of the most amazing supernatural events that God has ever orchestrated was put into motion by Moses' staff.

I'm not perfect. I don't have all the answers. I get mad and cuss. I've relapsed before. A bunch of times. I have a daughter in Mississippi that hasn't spoken to me in eight or nine years because of decisions I made while under the influence. I looted a lot of stuff before, during, and after Hurricane Katrina. I've chewed tobacco for almost 30 years and I'm still not responsible enough to have a spit cup in the house. Everyday I feel like I fail God, my wife and my boys. I don't listen to much gospel or contemporary Christian music. I don’t belong to any particular church. I've had a porn addiction that God allowed me to overcome. Gambling too. And womanizing. I listen to metal-core and industrial heavy metal music inappropriately loud for someone my age. I don't care for Donald Trump or country music. Because of the life I used to live, I always have a pistol within arms reach. I've been baptized like 5 or 6 times by 5 or 6 different denominations (that’s not a good thing.) Shannon and I shacked up before we got married. I’ve been in a gang. Steve Hill laid hands on me at the Brownsville Revival Reunion in Mobile and I heard the audible voice of God. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, tardive dyskinesia, Lyme Disease and depression. Because of all that I take 14 pills a day. Because of the PTSD, I can't sleep without medication. I'm a college graduate (somehow.) I have shot and been shot at. I consider myself a Calvinist (not the man bun craft beer and Starbucks kind of Calvinist.) Shannon isn't my first wife. I spent two and a half years in prison because I got caught breaking the law. I was in rehab when my daughter was born. I was born a fifth generation Mississippi Klansman. I'm adopted. I have some evil looking tattoos that cover up more evil looking tattoos. Both my biological parents were 15 when I was born. I've shot down a military drone with a machine gun and got in a lot of trouble. I've hurt so many people in my life that sometimes I'm overwhelmed with grief. I left my father in his hospital room and let him die alone. I've done CPR on three people and they all died. I've watched a man blow his head off with a shotgun and I did absolutely nothing to stop him.

So if you hear any rumors about me they are probably true. If you hear anything that isn't on this list, let me know and I will add it for future reference.

Do you understand now why I think I’m not qualified? By worldly standards I’m the last man for the job. So to say our God is a God of second chances is an understatement. God knows what He’s doing. He’s been in this line of work a long time. I wholly trust him with my life and the Recovery in Mcdowell program. Sometimes I feel very selfish whenever I am working with anyone that is struggling. Helping them helps me stay clean that day. While I've been typing this, using hasn't crossed my mind. My heart breaks for anyone who is hurting and struggling. When I say "I know how you feel", I really KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

When we wake up in the morning, then God has given us another chance. It never ceases to amaze me at the powerful things that He can do with a broken soul. Mine or anyone else.

Ya'll holler if you need me.

[reverseblackholeofwords]

Reversiverse Master List

Updated December 21, 2019

Discord Server: https://discord.gg/SD8Yzvb

Unfortunately, the following links will not work on mobile; however, the list can act as a guide for reading through the blog. If you only have access through mobile, simply search the name of the story on the blog, and it should bring that up for you. Or you can ask for a mobile-friendly link, and I will send it to you personally!

The Main Stories:

Markiplier Manor: The Ipliers have been gathered together under one roof, but Amy discovers that doesn’t make them one big, happy family.

The Warfstache Affair: Amy wants to bring a little humanity to the Egos, and Wilford Warfstache, the infamous killer, might need it most of all.

Deviancy: Among this perfect unit of robots, anything “human” is looked down on, but when Google Oliver starts experiencing glitches, he might go deviant.

The Puppet: No one is quite sure where Natemare came from, but he’s determined to figure out who he is, even if it means putting up with the Googles.

The Looking Glass: In a hall of mirrors, the Host struggles to run away from his past while it continues to destroy everything around him. Including his dreams of a better future.

Playing With Fire: Marvin the Magnificent is a powerful magician, constantly playing with fire, but when Anti is released from the mirror, Marvin might get burned.

A Domain of Evil: Markiplier Manor is a source of evil, and the two darkest Egos are about to finally go toe to toe in a date with destiny to decide who is on top.

Error in the Code: Now that Anti is trapped in Markiplier Manor, many of the Ipliers are forced to stare their problems in the face and realize there’s an error in all their codes.

Magician and Moon: No one really knows how or why Marvin came to join Anti, but it might be about time to reveal this untold story once and for all.

One Man Show: Wilford Warfstache’s memory is a strange thing indeed, and when circumstances take a turn for the worse, it might just be his undoing.

Nine Lives: All three of the Ego families get tangled up in puppet strings when they try to face Anti and are met with quite the shock.

In the Night: In a world of masks and monsters, the line becomes blurry between the heroes and the villains as Mare and Anti struggle to find their place.

The Jack of Hearts: Marvin thinks that he’ll do anything to become more powerful, but that’s before he learned about the Trial by Fire.

Duality of Man: Everyone wears masks, and no one is who they appear to be. But the truth always comes out.

Thicker Than Water: Family ties are tested and forged when the Egos are threatened.

Waking Nightmare: The Author breaks everything that he touches, but will the Battles be able to survive this nightmare?

Rotten to the Core: The Septics might have a solution for what the Author did to Anti, but something’s up with Jack.

Pink Carnations: With the Author and Dark working together from the Forgotten, the Ipliers will have to work fast to find a way to beat them.

Danger in Fiction: Dr. Iplier’s life is on the line, and the only way the Host can save him is to revisit his memories of when he was the Author.

Masquerade: As the fight between the Egos and the Author reaches a fever pitch, Phantom seems to be acting strange. The final blow is coming swiftly.

Something Wicked: Now that the Author is defeated, the Septics face a new problem. Anti’s static is spreading.

A Demon’s Disgrace: Almost a century ago, Phantom lost his horns and was cast out of his Hoard, but now, he might have a chance to regain what he lost.

By Any Other Name: As more of Dark’s history is revealed, a long-lost Seer reappears to find out what her brother has been up to while she’s been sleeping.

Salvaged: The Googles have always thought themselves unique, as the sole survivors of the Google IRL company’s crash, but there are also the Salvaged.

Means to an End: Henrik has watched his family crumble for long enough, and now he’s willing to do anything to keep them safe.

Branded a Nightmare: When Google wants to learn the truth behind who Mare is, it leads to something bigger and scarier than anything you could’ve imagined.

The Monomyth: Every hero has a story, but who is the hero of this tale? And who are the villains?

Five Nights: Five nights, three stories, a Hoard of characters are being knit together as a family. But will they get their happy ending?

Homebrew: Jameson Jackson hasn’t had a lot of time since he appeared in this world to build a life for himself, and it turns out to be much harder than he expected.

Incorporated: As the Egos learn to band together in order to defeat their daunting enemies, the Actor makes a move that could sever the fresh alliance.

Lost and Found: Brothers have been lost, but maybe, with a little luck and a lot of magic, they might be found.

A Tale of Two Brothers: Marvin thinks he needs to change himself to be lovable. Chase is willing to risk it all to show him otherwise.

The World Tree: With the spread of the Void, Phantom opens a doorway to get back to the Retro. But doors go both ways.

Quicksilver: Jameson Jackson is unsure of his place among his brothers. He needs to find his own path in order to break the cycle.

Black Heart: With Legion trapped away in the Void, the villains are running wild, but will the hero’s heart turn black for good?

Take Me Anywhere: Sharper has the ability to bring back people’s most pleasant memories, but he has very few of his own. It might be time to find out why.

Fresh Faces: The enigmatic box from the Heist appears in Ego Inc. along with a few Fresh Face just before disaster strikes once again.

Bo and Yancy: Yancy and Professor Beauregard have a history, but can Yancy move them towards a better future?

Memento Mori: Dark, Anti, and Mad are missing after the Actor’s most recent assault.The Void tore them apart, but their families might just be able to bring them back together.

Miscellaneous:

Talks: HC’s and drabbles that we discuss together on the blog.

Prompts: They are what the name implies...

Guardian of Lost Souls (AU): The Host’s new partner, the Doctor, is a fledgling Guardian not prepared to deal with the weight of protecting a lost soul, but he’ll have to learn quickly if he wants to stay alive.

Seance (AU): The most powerful of the Iplier Egos are shocked to find that there is new competition in town, and when they meet, chaos is going to fall.

[duality-deactivated]

Name: Violet 'Vi/Vi-Vi' Carmelia

Alias: Stitched

Age: 26

Gender: Female

Affiliation: Neither; Was once a part of Overwatch's Blackwatch program but now she works with Satya in the Vishkar Corporation.

Backstory: Violet lived a rather peaceful life before the Omnic Crisis. She grew up in southern Texas, her homeland being one of the many cities that developed in poverty and by Violet's recreation, it was not a good place to live in. Violet is also a person with very heightened anxiety, she prefers her environments to be tidy, quiet and free of distractions. Seeing the potential in her, one of Vishkar's leading members took her in under the command of the gonverment of the area in exchange for money. Isolated and forbidden to return to her home, Violet busied herself with both the classes and the training of the new equipment that the company gaver her access to. Unlike the rest of her peers who used the equipment in a construction manor, Violet used it much like the old habits she formed at her home, the act of knitting and sewing. Hench her given name, 'Stitched.' She quicky grew in ranks and her classes before she ened up joining Satya at the Rio de Janeiro field mission.

Weapon of Choice: A submachine gun. It is a gun similar to Symmerta's Photon Projecter yet uses the power of Electrons to create hard-light bullets. The gun is known as a 'Electron Enforcer.' It holds 90 Bullets and used a 'clip' to recharge. All shots fired from this gun have a small knock back effect from the electrons repelling whatever it happens to come in contact with.

Appearance/Face Claim: Amy Nelson.

Nationality: American/Indian

Health: 250; 150 Health, 100 Shields.

Abilities:

Primary Fire- Right Trigger- Electron Enforcer.

Stitched rapid fires small needle shaped bullets from three chambers in her gun, each chamber holding 30 bullets with each bullet doing around 4 damage each. After each chamber is emptied (The chambers empty out one at a time) the gun repels enemies within a one meter radius until the gun in fired again.

Secondary Fire- Left Trigger- Electron Enforcer

The gun charges up a large needle shaped bullet to shoot and repel enemies at the cost of ten ammo, meaning the gun would have to be reloaded after nine shots from the secondary fire; very useful for long range in comparison to the short range of the primary fire.

Switch Weapons- D-Pad- Darting

Stitched exchanges her gun for duel wielding sewing needles called Dartings. These needles are made out of hard light snd are msotly used for melee damage yet can be thrown during one of her abilities. They do roughly 50 damage per strike.

Ability 1- Right Bumper- Yarn-Ball

Stitched uses a capsule filled with the same Electron bullets to throw at her enemies. If the Balling directly hit an enemy, it locks them in place while repeling all other enemies within a two meter radius.

Ability 2- Left Bumper- Threading

Stitched throws one of her sewing needles at an enemy and if it lands on the enemy, it brings the enemy closer, if it doesn't land on an enemy and instead lands on an object, it brings Stitched to the object.

Ultimate- Triangle- Patchwork

Stitched takes her two sewing needles and attatchs yarn to them before trowing them at nearby walls. The two needles connect and blocks off the enemy team with damage if they try to enter through it. The patched wall has holes in it that both teams can see through. Since the needles don't reach all the way up, the ally players could walk across the tops of the needles if they wanted to. This last for 12 seconds.

Era: Petras

Class: Damage

Love Interest: Symmerta

Difficulty: 3 Stars (***)

Other: Along with her heightened anxiety, she also suffers from paranoia.

Name: Void Hanagan

Alias: None. He just goes by Void.

Age: Around 42

Gender: Transgender from Female to Male.

Affiliation: Overwatch (Formally) Talon (Current)

Backstory: Physically abused and abandoned by his father at around age 5. Void was stranded within the busy sector of Kings Row. He was taken in by a young Ana Amari and raised as her own. After being taken in by Ana, he was also partially 'raised' by Zenyatta starting when he was around age 18, the monk helped Void control his anger and frustration as well as gave him coping mechanisms for his schizophrenia. He was taught and trained by what was his family at the Overwatch HQ. Once Overwatch was disbanded due to the Petras Act, Void fell into hiding, becoming a guns for hire until Overwatch was recalled. During several missions before the Petras act, Void was forced to gain several prosthetics due to a lack of safety on his regard. He is currently residing with Talon due to the Blackwatch controversay

Weapon of Choice: A semi-automatic gun nicknamed 'Cosmic' The gun has two scythe heads located on the top of it.

Appearance/Face Claim: He wears a deep navy blue jacket that holds a galaxy pattern with the hood appearing like a black hole. He makes use of a protruding black, diamond shaped helmet that has a shaded visor to protect his eyes. He wears reinforced blue jeans as well as calf high, black combat boots that have white stars near the bottom. His face claim is Matthew Patrick/MatPat. His hair is a deep brunette with his eyes being a hazel color. If you were to look closely, his right arm, from his shoulder downwards, is robotic. His spine was also replaced as was his left leg. Both replacements being synthetic and/or robotic. He is 5'4" and weighs 162 pounds, being a bit on the chubby side.

Nationality: Arabic/American

Abilities:

Primary Fire- Cosmic:

His Primary Fire is a semi automatic gun that has a maximum number of bullets, that being 85. The bullets are easily depleted within a five second period and use a clip to reload, each bullet does about 7 damage, meaning it would take you about two-three clips to kill a Roadhog or a Winston.

Health: 350. (200 Health, 150 Armor, affecred by Torb's Molten Core bonus on armored enemies)

Ability 1- Right Bumper- Hyperspace

Void charges forward with his head lowered to inflict 75 damage and stun a target directly in front of him. It, in turn, will stun Void if he hits an object instead (This includes any Shields, Orisa's Supercharger, Torb's Turret or Symmerta's Teleporter (All Enemy items)) This has a six second cooldown.

Ability 2- Left Bumper- Supernova

Depending on the number of allies nearby, Void will gain shields to himself to held guard against enemies, with no allies around, the base amount of shields given is 100. This has an eight second cooldown.

Ability 3- Left Trigger- Blackhole

Void sprints to the nearest high platform at the cost of 50 Armor, once his 150 Armor has been depleted, this ability has a twn secons cooldown in order to let the armor recharge. (Does not affect armor given from Brigette's Rally or Repair Pack)

Ability 4- D-Pad- Comet

Void shoots off one/both of the scythe head(s) from off of the top of his gun to give a 'Shutdown' effect to an enemy, this effect shuts down an enemies passive ability, if they do not have a passive, it inflicts 50 damage. This also reveals the location of the enemy to Void and can be placed like a Widowmaker Venom mine.

Ultimate- Triangle- Extrasensory

Void makes use of his adaptive shields by spreading it to his teammates within a ten meter range: This act allows him to absorb the damage they are delt and return it two-fold, this lasts for 8 seconds.

Era: Founder

Class: Damage-Tank Hybrid

Love Intrest: Siberian Du Kuiplr

Difficulty: 3 Stars (***)

Other: He suffers from heavy schizophrenia, having many reoccurring nightmares as well as visual and auditory hallucinations. He is known to disassociate and he had a long history with anger issues.

Other 2: He is good friends with Xavier.

Heroes/Quotes:

Void/Quotes

Hero Selected

"Don't need a big name to break the mold"

(This is a reference to how planets are named after their discovery)

During Set Up

"Is it possible to reach space from here?"

"The stars are aligning tonight."

"Bright night. Good fight."

"Entertain yourself with the idea of creation."

"Lets' make this space something worth while!"

Respawn

"Look at the stars"

"Well, That wasn't supposed to happen."

"Get into the fight!"

"Entertain the cosmos."

"Reach into the void."

"Let's try that again."

"A cosmic shutdown."

"The cycle will continue on."

On Fire

"I am on fire!"

"The stars align with me! Stay out of my way!"

"The universe is on fire!"

Damage Boosted

"This power? A gift from above."

"Rain down upon our enemies"

"Strike like a black hole."

Nano boosted

"I feel unstoppable!"

"I'm Unstoppable!"

"The multiverse has empowered me!"

Discord Orb Recieved/Northstar Destroyed

"Crap!"

"Damn!"

Voted Epic (5 votes)

"The universe thanks you."

"I knew I could help!"

Voted Legendary (10 votes)

"The universe has chosen me."

"Aw! Thank you!"

Enemy Resurrection

"They rise like the stars*

Resurrected

"I return"

Heroes/Communications

Void/Communications

Hello

"Heya!"

"Hi!"

Need Healing

"Need Healing!"

"I gotta get some healing!"

"Hey Doc!"

(When hidden interaction with Zenyatta) "I need Harmony!"

Group Up

"Group up with me!"

"Group up!"

"Yo! Group up here!"

Ultimate Status

(0-90%) "Extrasensory is charging"

(0-90%) "My ultimate is charging"

(91-99%) "Extrasensory is almost ready!"

(91-99%) "Almost ready with Extrasensory!"

(100%) "Heads Up! Exteasensory is ready!"

(100%) "Hey! Extrasensory is ready to pop!"

Voicelines

Void's Guide "Void's Guide to the Galaxy" (Default Voice Line)

Planets  "Some planets are much smaller than you would think"

A New Discovery "A New Discovery is always exciting!"

You stared "You stared into the void, and it stared back"

Fun Fact "Fun Fact, Blackholes are actually invisible"

Watch Out! "احترس"

Follow Me! "اتبعني"

Gathering Shadows? "What's this about gathering shadows?"

I love stars "I love the bright stars"

I couldn't "I couldn't stand you if I tried"

Acknowledge

"I got you"

"Understood"

Thanks

"Thank you!"

"Thanks!"

[pass-the-bechdel]

Continuum Season Three Full Review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

92.3% (twelve out of thirteen)

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

35.1%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Six, episodes 3.02 “Minute Man”, 3.03 “Minute to Win It”, 3.04 “A Minute Changes Everything, 3.05 “30 Minutes to Air”, 3.08 “So Do Our Minutes Hasten,” 3.10 “Revolutions per Minute.”  

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

One, episode 3.09, “Minute of Silence.”

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-four.  Eleven who appear in more than one episode, five who appear in at least half the episodes, and one who appears in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Forty-six. Eighteen who appear in more than one episode, nine who appear in at least half the episodes, and none who appear in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Aside from a higher average percentage of female characters per episode—and, not coincidentally, a much higher Bechdel score, there isn’t much to note. (Average score of 3.0)

General Season Quality:

Easily the best season so far, in terms of juggling storylines and characters. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

As solid as season two of Continuum was, it often quite felt as if it was ultimately stretched thin, with too many balls aloft. Looking at season three, it seems like the showrunners agreed, as many of the plotlines set across that season are quietly pushed aside—more on this later—and the result is a season that, while still juggling a lot, feels a lot more cohesive.

The show’s decision to reboot itself by shunting Kiera and Alec to a different timeline is one of those things that would normally give me pause: why should I care about Travis or Garza’s deaths, if they’re going to be undone? Why should I care about the previous two seasons, if, as this season suggests, it’s events were a tangential, transient part of Kiera’s life? And what of Carlos and Betty forming an alliance with Julian, one of the season two finale’s most interesting tidbits?  As was noted in a conversation I had about the series, there is the risk of the show turning into something like The Good Place, where the continuous reboots and mindwipes can’t help but exhaust.  

And yet…it works. Part of it is because time travel is part of Continuum’s core premise, even when it means only going back a week, and part of it is because the series actually understands the implications of what it’s doing. Yes, it’s weird to hear Carlos treat Red Kiera and Green Kiera as completely different people when the only things separating them is a week. And yet, he’s perfectly right: to paraphrase an episode title, a week changes everything, and the characters we meet throughout this season are not the ones in the Red timeline.

Furthermore, while the season abandons the Red timeline, it does not forget it, and the writers are able to use our knowledge and expectations to good effect. The story of Betty’s role as a Liber8 mole gains more poignancy because we know how it played out in another universe, where Carlos was more disillusioned with police work and more willing to choose her over the CPD. Alec’s anger over things like Escher and Emily feels more deliciously ironic, given what he doesn’t know about them. And of course, we get yet another set of complications, as Red Kiera and Alec’s presence in the new timeline throws it completely out of whack, completely derailing the future as we’d come to know it.

One of my favorite moments about Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, a series with a similar prevent-the-future premise to Continuum’s, occurs when Derek Reese and Jesse Flores, lovers and time-traveling freedom fighters from a future in which humanity battles terminators for survival, realize they don’t actually come from the same timeline. While their timelines of origin share generalities—enough that they don’t realize this until they’ve been interacting for weeks, if not months—they are not identical—Jesse has memories of experiences that did not occur to this version of Derek, and vice-versa. It remains one of television’s more interesting attempts to deal with the mechanics of time travel and timeline-altering, and similar elements form the backbone of this season of Continuum. And it works really well. 

While the previous seasons played coy when it came to answering whether Kiera and Liber8’s shenanigans were helping prevent their version of 2077 or ensure it played out, by this season, it is clear that it is the former. While this means that Liber8 technically succeeds, it also means that the future it’s created also has time travelers, including some that may prefer the future where the world is owned by corporations to the one where Liber8’s presence brings them down (along with everyone else). It’s a smart expansion of the show’s premise and universe, and the timing couldn’t have been better: while the Kiera / Liber8 conflict is more interesting this season than it had been in the past (not that it was ever un-interesting) it also wasn’t a thing that could continue indefinitely. Something needed to change, and this season does that, and quite well.

Still, the biggest change isn’t the timeline shenanigans, but the one that occurs within Kiera herself. As mentioned, one of the more interesting things about Continuum during the first two seasons is that Kiera was, when one looked at the big picture, the bad guy.  Liber8 may have had the body count to justify all the energy that’s expended to stop them (although it’s worth noting that this season has the group taking pains to make their campaign less reliant on indiscriminate bloodshed) but Kiera is the one supporting the continued oppression of the 99%.

While the first two seasons of the show got a lot of mileage from the dissonance between Kiera’s politics and her role as hero, this one finally begins the journey to her epiphany, and the road to her realizing that her 2077 cannot be allowed to exist—even when doing so guarantees that her son will not exist either—is one of the season’s best stories, and it not only again cements her as one of the top-tier sci-fi protagonists on television, but also leads to the series’ biggest “hell yeah” moment to date, as she teams up with Liber8 in order to prevent both the future she knows and a far worse one. 

On that note, if there’s an element that consistently doesn’t work this season, it’s the addition of Brad Tonkin as a love interest.  As mentioned before, he makes sense from a storytelling perspective: he’s reverse Kiera, the spouse and parent from the future who willingly gets himself stranded in the past in order to change the future.  Furthermore, there’s plenty of other reasons for him to be there: he not only provides proof that the battle being waged in the present has concrete (and terrible) consequences, but he’s also vital to the season’s “who killed Green Kiera?” subplot. I’m not sure if him and Kiera bonding the way they have is an example of a romance that’s been shoehorned in, one that simply hasn’t had time to develop, or one that makes sense for the kind of characters Kiera and Brad are, and frankly, the answer doesn’t matter: it still strikes a very odd chord, and while it’s not an entirely unpleasant one—there’s something weirdly appealing about all their interactions—I can’t help but feel that it didn’t need to be here.

Season three is Continuum’s best season so far when it comes to the Bechdel test, with all but one episode passing.  At the same time, this is an excellent showcase of the incompleteness of the Bechdel test as a measure of feminism—that improvement doesn’t translate into a better positive content score.  Furthermore, it’s hard not to notice that this season ends with the loss of three key female characters, who are also all three women of color.  While the show still has considerable racial diversity, all of it is male, and that is a problem.  It feels odd that a show that is so fundamentally political can also be negligent when it comes to things like this, but that’s also not surprising, or new.

Still, it’s hard not to accept these circumstances, given how solid the season is as a whole, and just how different Continuum continues to be.   For its faults, its singular and very defined point of view—a rare thing, in TV, especially when it comes to entities as deified as the police—combined with its skill at under-appreciated storytelling elements like world-building and cast juggling, continue to make it  pleasure to watch. 

[milkteavns]

the library.

if you knew chris for quite sometime you would know that he never comes up with the greatest ideas if there wasn’t alcohol or partying included, so chances were you wouldn’t be tolerating any kind of behavior he’s scheming onto. “you know, the two of us could also have fun. we really shouldn't let our friends take out all of it.”

rating: nc-seventeen + college!chris au

‘thanks’ — was the last word your roommate had stated before dropping out of sight in front of you with a huge grin upon her face, leaving you to stand there at the empty university hallway during half past ten in the evening. and it felt like nothing but the shade of mockery as your stared into the doorway.

there wasn't anything earnestly wrong with your roommate considering she has been a handful with you quite a ton especially when it came to your exams or anything related to college.

but the thing is, whenever she had the nerve to bring a senior guy into the shared dormitory every night it always drove you nuts since you had to wait for several hours until they could finish off.

and that wasn't even the worst part mainly because it was either you stay seated against the ground while continuing to stare and unwillingly listen at the inappropriately disembodied voices coming underneath the door or the other option was to stay in the goddamn library and bore yourself to death.

obviously you went for the second choice — the area smothered well in books and lists of students who seem to be cramming for their final examinations, since at least it was a sex-free environment, right? or so you thought.

therefore you dragged your feet over the deck, leading your way past the dozens of doorways and exiting yourself from the building. surely took you sometime before recalling which directions to take until you got to the university library that was open twenty-four seven.

your fingers wrapped around the metal handle of the glass door as you read the sign that said to pull. then your sneakers eventually came in contact with the dark grey carpet floor and caught the scent that libraries consistently had, fresh pages upon every book stored.

it was definitely colder in the library compared to any hallway or room there is around the campus which had you upon liking the area more. nevertheless your opinion still considered this as a boring place and would prefer a bed over this any time in the day.

barely any students had occupied the seats around the room and you could perceive around three people along with the librarian who seemed to be at the age of fifty-three. meanwhile the others were either on their laptops researching for important details or on their headphones and dozing off.

nobody gave a fuck around here especially when the clock strikes past nine, everyone had focused onto their own worlds; however it also meant that nobody had their attention gazed upon you and it always saved you from any kind of embarrassment.

and so you began to walk around the numbers of bookshelves planted onto each section, browsing around the kinds of genres there are whether it was a book for cooking or research purposes. the university library was insanely huge compared to the public ones you had gone to in the past — truth be told, no wonder others come here to fuck.

your sleeves reached for each spine as some were rather dusty while others seemed to be new. if you had the time it would have been really fun to hang out and read here on certain occasions, yet tonight wasn’t alike that because all you really wanted was to feel your back pressed against your bedsheets without a single moan coming from the other side of the room.

instead of further daydreaming about your bed and how you could be sleeping right now rather than stressing inside the library, you plopped your body down against the matting and relaxed your body against the wooden shelves while letting your thoughts wander.

“mind if i join you there, kiddo?” a voice broke in though your eyelids were fixed batted down. 

since the area where you were sat on was far behind the desks you were somehow not expecting anyone to hop in and start a conversation with you, it was your first intention after all, you didn’t want to be disturbed. 

“yes i would mind, this aisle is taken.”

afterwards, instead of taking in the serenity of the place, you felt someone nudge against the side of your shoulder which made you flutter your eyelids open this time and discerning the familiar blue-eyed blond being right by your side. 

“hey, evans.” a contagious smile crept upon the corners of his mouth as you followed along before he rested his back onto the shelves and slinging an arm from your behind. meanwhile you went along and cocked your head onto the side until it came in contact with his broad shoulder, and resting it up against there.

chris had been a somewhat acquaintance of yours since your sophomore year in college. he wasn’t that close and you only knew the guy because you’ve been partnered up with him several times back in the days during biology class — was an asshole at first but became less of one once you get to know him.

“so what does an ass like you come here for?” you questioned.

“an ass like this comes for an ass like that,” chris retorted as he was pertaining to you before having to receive a slap against his chest that came from you and afterwards playfully taking back what he stated, telling that he was merely joking around.

he casually shrugged and chuckled at you before answering, “sebastian’s been hitting off with a girl and texted me specifically not to drop by the room until he finishes off with her.”

clearly he had the same situation going on like yours and you pitied him for it too. sooner you stated your reason for being here, utterly sounding alike his, as he offered you a smooth high-five although dodging your hand before it could even come in contact with his

then you asked how in the world did he find you as his reply was following you around once he caught a glimpse of your figure walking past the layers of shelves until it resulted to where you both now were sitting right next to each other. "our roommates are dicks, huh?"

“tell me about it. they get so unfair and steal every night away trying to bang someone up in attempt on stealing all the have fun rather than letting us get rest for the next day,” you groaned while letting your body fall against chris’ chest.

and the brightest yet dumbest idea struck onto the blond’s thoughts having him jolt in amusement before making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and question him what was that about. a huge grin plastered upon his face as he wouldn’t stop weirdly staring at you, making you feel odder by the minute.

if you knew chris for quite sometime you would know that he never comes up with the greatest ideas if there wasn’t alcohol or partying included, so chances were you wouldn’t be tolerating any kind of behavior he’s scheming onto. “you know, the two of us could also have fun. we really shouldn't let our friends take out all of it.”

this time a cocky smirk had glued onto his face while raising an eyebrow as he waited for your reaction to his proposition. obviously you weren’t too happy at all with his idea of having fun, especially not in a library. “your brain is literally stuck up your ass, huh, evans?”

seriously who walks up to someone and offers them sex? it’s fucking insane geez!

“just think about it, doll, instead of boring ourselves to death, why don’t we try fucking here? unless you have a better plan up your ass.” his voice full of mockery while trying to stay low as he gyrated his head amongst all angles and observed if anyone was around the perimeter. 

regardless of how convincing he was becoming you knew it was dumb as you attempted on stating the obvious, “i don’t fucking know — we could always read here, you know like what most normal people do in a damn library?” 

no matter how many times you repeated your statement in attempt upon warning him what he’s risking on it still couldn’t puncture through his thick skull. chris doesn’t even seem slightly convinced with what you were telling him as he stared onto your face as if his mind blacked out.

this man’s intellect was beyond your belief and sometimes you couldn’t imagine what he did to get into the university. but his roommate was probably worse considering upon how chris has always described him. 

though somehow your body wasn’t saying anything to decline his offer. he made a cheap point and it was about time since you had sex let alone somewhere in a public area. “despite anything else you do know i would hate your guts even if something may or may not happen tonight.” 

the response was enough consent for chris to continue as his smirk reappeared, “attagirl.” 

without a second past chris had sneaked his hands around your waist and leaned in to crash his lips onto yours, tugging you close as he stayed seated while you straddled atop of his lower region. you had to remind him about getting caught but he seemed way too confident about where the both of you are located right now, being around the farthest away from the entrance and all.

his actions didn’t hesitate anymore as he grasped onto your hips firmly before hauling down as you were feeling his growing erection force against your core. he guided your movements until you notice you were already grinding your body on top of his.

meanwhile your fingers winded up onto chris’ neck as you pulled him close to your face. both your lips eagerly took delight onto each other while you continued on sucking against his bottom lip, waiting until it could turn into the shade of red and swollen.

you took pauses between the kiss to get a breath before pursuing what this could lead onto. your chin pressed against his as both your heads moved the same time, seeking to claim dominance and overpower the other end of the line.

things weren’t going smoothly due to the fact that chris wasn’t going to agree upon losing to you while you had the same prideful problem. furthermore the several minutes that had gone by consisted solely upon who was going to come out on top — innuendo included. 

chris heightened his game up once you felt a cold hand slide under your shirt, swiftly unhooking the clasp of your bra with one attempt and damn was he good. he began to knead around one of your breasts although being further distracted at how you were rocking your hips.

casually, you tried to permit a tongue from your mouth into his as it brushed past his upper lip and went straight to lap against his own tongue. both your eyelids were sealed the whole time as you were indulging the whole scenario, everything happening insanely too fast however the intimacy remained at an unhurried pace

after some time your hands instinctively went down onto his pants and began to unbuckle his belt before hauling it down past his thighs. it left chris is awe as much as it did with you but you were needy and there was too much tension built up you could slice a knife right through it. “who’s eager now, miss we could always read a book in a library.”

a shaky breath exited past your lips while you ordered him to shut up unless he wanted you to walk out from him and find another are to standby on. that simply hushed him enough seeing he wouldn’t want a perfect moment like this ruined — and you couldn’t deny it felt somewhat sexy being authoritative.

his hands began to unbutton your shorts as he slid them down and discarding it close alongside as the two of you were dangerously close to being partly naked, considering now that your ass and lace underwear was exposed into the frigid environment.

everything felt weirder by the second and you were torn between wanting all of this done already due to the fear you were clutching onto or enjoy every rebellious moments being done. either way chris wasn’t going to let you choose as his only intentions were fucking you against the stack of books later on.

the fabric of your panties began to soak through the wetness coming from your core, drenching them while keeping the rhythm ongoing. a mellow moan exited chris’ lips while you were harshly biting onto the inside of your cheeks since you knew you couldn’t keep your moans as sound as him, heck this was your first encounter of public indecency.

afterwards you felt chris’ fingers draw your panties aside while pulling his hard-on out, though you continued your actions but this time it was skin against skin without any kind of garment acting as a barrier. it felt too good to be true, covering his cock with your cunt as you glided your hips upward and downwards. “you’ve got a condom?”

he nodded before reached for the object behind, tearing up the wrapper almost instantly merely between his teeth and afterwards rolling the latex down onto his shaft.

your hand finally reached out for his length and blindly aligned it against your entrance ironically doing all the work now because you couldn’t hold back your thirst any longer — chris being a major tease wasn’t helping any who also.

out of nowhere chris suddenly picks you up from the area amidst your waist and thighs as he slammed you against the bookshelves. the back of your head had a hard hit as a groan fell out your lips with no intent on resisting. “it was fun seeing you dominate me for a moment. but it’s my turn now, babygirl.”

then you enfolded your legs around his rock-hard body along with your arms around his neck. this time you caught a stronger whiff of his cologne, the prominent scent of aftershave with a hint of musk surrounding and having you melt into a puddle.

the feeling of chris’ nose snuggled into the crook of your neck as he left subtle kisses against your skin subsided. he looked up at you as you were met with the pair of blue orbs that screamed none other than sex, he didn’t have to raise a voice and ask you anything before it had you nodding repetitively — you both wanted this, didn’t know why it took that long.

your eyelids sealed close while your mouth formed into an oval once you felt him slowly slide his cock into your cunt with ease due to the fact that you were drenched beforehand, tightening your walls around him at first while you adjusted yourself to his size.

for the first few thrusts he took it slowly as he moved his hips forwards and backwards, holding your body with care and initiating the pace fondly. this time the both of you couldn’t help but lowly moan into each other’s faces as the intensity increased.

of course it wasn’t enough for chris as he continued thrusting himself into you until your back smacked against the spine of history books, making subtle thwacks for the moment. and you didn’t mind nor’ worry one bit owing to the fact that you were too distracted with chris’ cock. 

every action he executed felt too good as you moaned into his ears — god you liked being fucked alongside being kissed also. his lips linked with yours again though it wasn’t as heated this time since chris was more focused upon slamming his hips between your inner thighs.

for numerous times you kept on moaning his name as your legs began to quiver whilst enveloping his body. his cock forced into you harder as the bookshelves were close to wobbling and falling onto the it’s other side, if someone had to walk into the moment like this right now neither chris or you would be turning back.

“fuck i’m close,” chris’ moans were deep as it was followed with a growl.

his cock had throbbed into your cunt making you clench around as it didn’t help any further with the situation. your toes were curled up tight inside your shoes while your fingers were agitating — if this happened during the middle of the day you were sure the both of you had chances of getting caught and suspended in school,

chris’ thrusts were sloppy and noisy though his final thrust had the back of his head falling behind before you felt finally him orgasm into the rubber latex, partly loading into it as you bit onto your lower lip.

later on you stared onto each other looking directly into those ocean orbs while heavily breathing into his mouth. your heart beat was increasingly rapid and your muscles were tensed, sweat was forming right around your hairline as it streamed down your face.

have you every felt that feeling where everything was so wrong yet you couldn’t help but take it so rightly. “we should probably leave now, before anyone catches us.”

who doesn’t like sneaky university sex, am i right?? 

@ughlmao @ballyhoobarnes

[lacquerware]

Mega Man should stop presenting its flaws as indispensable features

When I was fifteen, I learned to play the song Malagueña on the piano. It was a laborious project; the culmination of nine years of piano lessons under the tutelage of Mrs. Diane Miller, and the main event for her upcoming student showcase.

This arrangement of the piece was a seven-pager, and somewhere around page four was a problem phrase I kept playing wrong, a rapid two-handed run up the keyboard with tricky fingering. I got to a point where I could play flawlessly up to that phrase, only to flub the phrase every time. Each time I flubbed it, my teacher would stop me and send me back to page 2. “You have to perfect that phrase,” she would say, “so try it again, but first play the preceding two pages, so it’s no longer fresh in your mind by the time you get to it again.” Alas, this would result in more flubs, and after three flubs in a row she would send me back to the beginning of the entire piece. “You’re still not getting it,” she’d say. “So I think we should run through the stuff you’ve already mastered one more time.” I would glance at her, trying to read her intent, and she would stare back at me, bug-eyed and malevolent.

The above story is false,because Mrs. Miller was a kind, intelligent, and non-insane person. Like all people of that description, she understood that you don’t work out a problem area by indiscriminately repeating ALL PRACTICE. When you get one problem wrong on a math quiz, you don’t review the entire textbook. You don’t work on your free throws by drilling layups and then also free throws. You can’t learn to poach an egg by toasting English fucking muffins all day. To suggest otherwise is an act of hostility.

Mega Manhas always carried this hostility. The game dishes out its challenges in neat little screen-sized units, but penalizes your failures with gratuitous setbacks, often requiring you to replay entire stages from the beginning. This makes learning inordinately tedious. You have to retread every yard for every yard gained.

I guess this is a relic of the arcade age, when games were designed with the express intent of punishing players—unless they paid up. Indeed, most of Mega Man’s NES contemporaries inherited this same feature in the form of finite lives and scarce checkpoints, but it never made much sense on home consoles. You could argue that it prolonged the lifespan of each game, but that only held true for the masochists who continued to tolerate this torturous system rather than reallocate all that wasted time to more fruitful pursuits like, I dunno, learning to play piano or poach an egg.

I’ve always liked Mega Man, but it was already starting to feel like a tired concept as early as Mega Man IV. I was about eight years old by then, and starting to catch on that they were running out of boss motifs. Pharaoh Man felt like a red flag.

Mega Man has since proliferated into a multi-faceted franchise spanning more than 120 titles and three decades (and for the record, I’ve played through almost all of them), but it’s never really dispensed with its ancient baggage. Mega Man X brought new visual flare while diversifying the core action; Mega Man Zero imbued the series canon with new consequence and cool factor; Mega Man ZX fused the classic gameplay with the Metroidvania template; but all of these spin-offs continued to punish, punish, punish, to gatekeep their content from the series’ own consumers to no certain end.

When Capcom revealed Mega Man 9, I was momentarily taken with the nostalgia of it, but quickly lost interest when I realized that Capcom had no intent of evolving the series’ concepts, even in basic quality-of-life ways. Lives and weapon energy were still pointlessly commodified, checkpoints sadistically scarce. They’d even removed what few innovations the series had seen to date, such as the slide and the charge shot. Nor did the roster of Robot Masters appear any more inspired than the cast of rejects that had turned me off five installments prior. Capcom had had seventeen years to think about it and all they’d come up with were lame analogs of pastbosses, like Tornado Man and Magma Man. It’s like they thought they hadto retread the same shit beat for beat or people would get confused. Even their ace, Splash Woman, was just another in a long line of water-themed bosses.

Mega Man 10 as a follow-up was downright depressing. Strike Man, Pump Man, and Chill Man are what you get when you realize yesterday was the deadline and all you’ve got is a pen and a cocktail napkin. I can’t fathom that a bunch of game designers sat around brainstorming ideas for Mega Man fucking 10 and someone was like, “Hmm, what about an ice-themed boss.”

Now we have Mega Man 11, the long-awaited, belligerently-demanded revival of the MM franchise after some eight years of dormancy. After playing the demo, I find myself wondering why. Why are we here? Why is Mega Man 11 Capcom’s answer after saying no to Mega Man for eight years? It’s the SAME.

Yes, it looks and sounds nicer and there’re a couple new mechanics—which are themselves comically uninspired takes on the ancient tropes of bullet time* and Devil Trigger—but I’m mystified at how unchanged the formula still is after eight years of seemingly adamant dismissal of the entire franchise, let alone the thirty-one years they could’ve been critically examining it. Do they realize that other developers have been building on this genre since the eighties?

*Weird side note: The tutorial for Mega Man’s new “Speed Gear” ability explains that the gear makes you “move so fast that everything else seems slow,” but in practice Mega Man moves just as slowly as everything else. So it’s not Mega Man who’s moving fast, it’s. . . the player?  

Punishment as “Difficulty”

In the Block Man (lol) stage of the demo, there’s a section where you have to jump and slide through elaborate platforms as they scroll toward you, an insta-kill grinding device nipping at your heels all the while. The third platform has very peculiar collision detection, such that your head bonks against the empty space you’re supposed to jump through, seemingly rendering the challenge impossible. This is several screens into the stage but still prior to the first checkpoint (on Normal mode), so every time this platform killed me, I had to start the entire stage over. After about fifteen tries, I discovered that the collision doesn’t trigger if you’re holding left as you make the jump—an illogical thing to do unless you’ve died so many times you’ve run out of other ideas. By the time I cracked this idiosyncrasy, I’d already spent close to an hour replaying the preceding screens over and over for no reason. Why is this still a thing? This is punishment, not difficulty. It contributes to the challenge only in that it makes the experience less fun, “challenging” your resolve to continue playing. Think of all the origami you could be learning. All the old ladies you could be helping cross streets.

The Mega Man games are quite clever in the way they parse out the platforming and shooting in little bite-sized units. Each screen is essentially an action puzzle for you to solve. It would be so logical for each screen break to be a checkpoint, because each screen break isa checkpoint—the start of the next challenge. Games like Super Meat Boy do this, meting (meating?) out their challenges in bite-sized, infinitely repeatable increments. Nobody accuses Super Meat Boy of being too easy because it doesn’t make you repeat the shit you’ve already completed when you fail at the current task. If you wantthat kind of punishment, no one’s stopping you from resetting the game.

Mega Man 11 adds a “Casual” mode which increases the number of checkpoints, but it’s still annoying to me that the more punishing model is treated as the norm while the more logical distribution of checkpoints is treated as a concession. Soulsplayers will tell me to “git gud,” but that’s why I led with the piano analogy. I got damn good at Malagueña, and I still had time left over to do my homework and play video games.

Special Weapons

Using your Special Weapons in Mega Man games is like spending the money you might need to pay rent on stuff you could be getting for free through your well-connected friend Dave. The trial-and-error pairing of the right weapon and the right boss is such an integral part of Mega Man’s progression that any other use of anyspecial weapon becomes a high-risk gamble—unless, of course, you just Google the answers.

I understand the need to impose limits on the more powerful weapons, but games have figured out countless better ways to do this in the thirty-one years since Mega Man 1. Cool-down times. Cool-down meters. Recovery proportional to damage inflicted. Recovery proportional to damage received. Recovery by way of skillful attack, à laMetal Gear Rising. Enemy fire absorption à la Alien Soldier and Radiant Silvergun. Ranger X on the Sega Genesis had solar-powered special weapons; why not steal that idea for this game’s allegedly solar-powered protagonist?

Instead, even in its eleventh installment in two-thousand-goddamn-eighteen, Mega Man still employs an RNG-based item drop system. Replenishing your meter is as simple and menial as finding an enemy spawn point and brainlessly standing and shooting until an enemy happens to drop the energy you need. Don’t forget to cycle over to the gun you want to replenish, or else the battery is wasted, as if Mega Man just eats it by mistake.*

*Later games in the series introduced the Energy Balancer, a purchasable item which automatically refills the weapon that needs refilling even if you don’t have it selected. Why is that a thing you have to buy? Why put a fundamental improvement to the game behind a paywall, virtual or otherwise?

Meanwhile, MM11still employs the same bizarre meter continuity between deaths as past installments. Each death means repeating sections of the stage without reacquiring any previously spent meter, effectively creating a difficulty vortex—the harder this game is, the harder it gets. There was a ruthlessly capitalistic logic to this in the arcade days,but the Mega Man series has never been coin-operated (with a few obscure exceptions). It hasnevermade sense that, often, the best strategy is to voluntarily leap to your death over and over to force a Game Over, just to restart with a full weapon meter as an alternative to the tedium of refilling it manually or facing the boss without it. What is the explanation for this meter continuity in the first place? Are we supposed to think Mega Man is repeatedly exploding and materializing but he can’t materialize a few extra shots from his bubble gun while he’s at it? There’s a multi-faceted idiocy to this whole system.

Rush

Capcom ought to take a long, hard look at Rush, Mega Man’s transforming robot dog companion. It’s hard to believe the same guy who invented a fully autonomous solar-powered robot boy couldn’t design a dog-shaped spring that runs on renewable energy. Special weapons are one thing, but why does Rush have an exhaustible meter? He’s a fucking spring. It makes no sense as a narrative detail nor as an element of game design. What exactly are the designers trying to limit? Your ability to spam high jumps? The logistics of the Rush Coil already do that; you have to set him up like a lawn ornament and he peaces out after a single bound. He’s unspammable, even with a full bar. To begin with, there are rarely that many useful opportunities to use the Rush Coil within a single stage, and energy power-ups are infinite as long as you’re willing to endure the chore of finding them, so it’s not as though the game is challenging you to budget your resources—it’s just discouraging you from searching for those meaningful jump opportunities in the first place. It’s driving you to Google.

Bosses

The Robot Masters have always received special star treatment in the Mega Man games but rarely been very interesting as boss fights. You know the deal: dodge the dizzying hail of projectiles in an empty square room while desperately scrambling to land enough hits with the weakness weapon before you die. Considering all the fanfare these bosses get (mug shot, intro screen, and now reveal trailers), most of them feel kind of interchangeable. Most of them have nearly identical silhouettes and shoot functionally redundant projectiles in superficially different shapes. Every gun is a Lucky Charms marshmallow.

The boss fights actually do seem a little more interesting in Mega Man 11—Block Man in particular stands out with his mid-fight transformation into a hulking colossus. I’d hoped to see more of this in future Mega Mans—fights that evolve and really set each Robot Master apart as a distinct embodiment of its corresponding motif—so maybe they’re onto something this time. Still, it’s a little ridiculous that this game has yet another fire boss, electricity boss, cold boss, and bomb boss. Why are we still here?

Before the mob comes for me, I want to stress that there’s always been lots to love about Mega Man, and I’m glad Capcom is investing in the IP again. I just hope this is the start of a long-term effort to reevaluate and improve the series, not another short-sighted extension of a tired status quo.

[thirstinmore-blog]

Best Albums of 2018

BEST ALBUMS 2018

20. Noname: Room 25

19. Jeremih & Ty Dolla $ign: Mih-Ty

18. Tierra Whack: Whack World

17. Parks Burton: Pare

16. Oneohtrix Point Never: Age Of

15. Angelique Kidjo: Remain in Light

14. Shannon Shaw: Shannon in Nashville

13. Curren$y & Freddie Gibbs: Fetti

12. Ariana Grande: Sweetener

11. Vince Staples: FM!

10. DJ Koze: Knock Knock

9. Mariah Carey: Caution

8. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel

7. The Carters: Everything is Love

6. Snail Mail: Lush

5. Shannon & the Clams: Onion

4. Teyana Taylor: K.T.S.E.

3. Kacey Musgraves: Golden Hour

2. Blood Orange: Negro Swan

1. Dirty Projectors: Lamp Lit Prose

(Spotify playlist)

(Capsule reviews of Top 10 below) 

10. DJ Koze: Knock Knock.  The music writing trope of “a sounds like b + c” is as lazy as it is played, but sometimes you hear a record and those type of comparisons spring to mind, like when I first heard Saint Pepsi’s Hit Vibes and instantly thought of J Dilla making a disco record.  That was also my response to Knock Knock, which sounds like the Avalanches making a more patient update of Since I Left You for 2018 ears.  The record is long and lush, and draws from roughly nine billion different aesthetics, but its particular mélange still manages to sound fresh.  As with SILY, the album is best experienced as a complete piece of music (though several tracks, such as “Lord Knows” and “Scratch That” would sound great in a mix or DJ set).  Knock Knock takes the listener through ambling pathways that wrap around and revisit each other, like an evening stroll through the spacious Joshua Tree National Park depicted on its cover.  It’s nearly a two-hour journey, but it’s well worth the price of admission.

9. Mariah Carey: Caution.  Mariah got a dirty mouth and I’m here for it.  As mother, a twice-divorcée, a woman nearing 50, her work and her image are all her own; if she wants to include the word “fuck” in a bunch of songs on her new album (“GTFO,” “With You,” “The Distance”), then who the fuck are we to tell her no?   It’s a refreshing twist from someone whose public persona is often so curated, but I’m burying the lede.  The real story here is that Caution is a batch of excellent R&B songs from one of the genre’s all-time greats.  It’s not overwrought – by contrast, the album’s sultry blue cover art is indicative of the moods within.  The Ty Dolla $ign-featuring “The Distance” is laid extremely deep in the cut, assisted by some subtle production from Poo Bear, Lido and—holy shit, Skrillex?  Yup, and like Mariah herself, everyone involved uses an even hand and measured patience to let each song breathe.  

A personal highlight for me is “A No No,” which flips the Lil Kim/Lil Cease classic “Crush On You” on its head.  Here, where Biggie intones “he’s a slut, he’s a hoe, he’s a freak/got a different girl every day of the week,” there is no irony intended.  She gauges her suitors’ intent and responds simply: “that’s a no-no.”  In fact, the word “no” accounts for easily half the song’s lyrics, but it’s still a blast on subsequent listens.  But don’t get it twisted – highlights abound herein, from aforementioned singles “GTFO” and “The Distance” to the thoughtful, expansive, Dev Hynes-helmed “Giving Me Life,” which begins as a downtempo club hit and morphs into a surrealist dream.  Mariah Carey is one of the artists who’s been in my life the longest – I’m so happy she’s still killing it.

8. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel.  Courtney Barnett is what I was raised to believe an indie rock star should be: an unassuming, smart slacker with regular clothes and the ability to unleash earthbound poetry and atmosphere-puncturing solos with equal aplomb.  That effortless cool permeates every facet of her work, from her casual half-singing style to her loose but proficient playing, a mighty guitar god in the body of a humble 31-year-old.  (That she recorded a collaborative record with renowned cool guy Kurt Vile should surprise no-one.)  But what’s really striking about Barnett’s work is her wryly observant lyrics; whether she’s describing the banalities of urban life (“City Looks Pretty”) or eviscerating toxic masculinity (“Nameless, Faceless”), her keen eye and incisive wit pervade every line.  Tell Me is the sound of a strong artist getting stronger.

7. The Carters: Everything is Love.  I often say that as I get older, my favorite elements of songwriting are editing and restraint.  That’s why I tend to hate double albums and love EPs.  I just believe that most double albums would be better if distilled down to one really strong record.  EPs, on the other hand, leave the listener wanting more.  Such is the case with Everything is Love, which reads like a Beyonce trap record with a number of guest verses from Jay. Regardless of speculation on who did the lion’s share of the writing on the record, both are in top form.  Bey’s signature vocal virtuosity is on display as ever, but the real delight is in her capable delivery as a rapper.  She glides effortlessly through triplets like “Poppin, I’m poppin, my bitches are poppin, we go to the dealer and cop it all.”  Big Sean could never.  Meanwhile, Jay turns in a few of my favorite bars of the year (and also a very slick Drake diss) on “Boss:”

“You not a boss, you got a boss. N*ggas gettin’ jerked, that shit hurts, I take it personaly.  N*ggas’d rather work for the man than to work for me.  Just so they can pretend they on my level, that shit is irkin’ to me.  Pride always goeth before the fall, almost certainly.  It’s disturbing what I gross.  Survey says: you not even close.  Everybody’s bosses till the time to pay for the office, till them invoices separate the men from the boys. Over here we measure success by how many people successful next to you.  Here, we say you broke if everybody is broke except for you. BAWSE.”

I don’t know if they intend to release more records as The Carters, but Everything is Love is a fun, successful experiment.

6. Snail Mail: Lush.  There’s no reason for a debut LP to be this good.  The record, from solo project-turnt-band of 19-year-old Lindsay Jordan is focused, clever, and sophisticated.  Every component of these songs appears exactly as it should.  Jordan’s songwriting is clean and incisive (“I hope whoever it is holds their breath around you/’cause I know I did,” she sings on album standout “Heat Wave”).  The arrangements are smartly simple; seldom do they deviate from the four-person rock lineup, so the embellishments that are included (the French horn on “Deep Sea,” the layered keys on “Speaking Terms”) really leap out.  The playing throughout is lovely, with Jordan’s beautiful guitar technique front and center (the finger-picking on “Let’s Find an Out” is a particular delight). Everything in its right place – only where Radiohead’s inward gaze can be mopey and self-indulgent, the core strength of Lush is its efficiency.  There’s no filler here – just the exact amount of support that each piece requires.  The drumming feels especially strong in this regard – there’s an economic directness in Ray Brown’s playing that prioritizes the backbeat over everything, including his ego. The fills that he does include are modest and workmanlike.

It’s right that the record would be released by Matador, because these songs are drenched in the influences of the 90s slacker rock of Yo La Tengo, Sonic Youth, Sleater-Kinney and Sebadoh.  And as with each of those bands, Snail Mail’s songs are buoyed by excellent lyrics.  Jordan doesn’t just sound wise beyond her years, she actually seems to have lived more in her 19 years than many folks twice her age.  There’s a subtext of sobriety in some of the songs (“It just feels like the same party every weekend, doesn’t it?” on “Pristine,” or “I’m so tired of moving on/spending every weekend so far gone” on “Heat Wave”).  Perhaps the self-reflection that’s required in recovery has helped to distill her worldview.  

And look, I don’t mean to be patronizing here – this album would be a major achievement from any person of any age.  But to hear an artistic vision this crystal clear and laser-focused from a 19-year-old is something truly special.  I can’t wait to hear what she does next.

5. Shannon & the Clams: Onion.  Upon first listen, Onion struck me as the best record the Clams have released to date.  Now, admittedly, I’m a sucker for keyboards, and the inclusion of organist Will Sprott is pure Patrick-bait.  But beyond my own tastes, the organ both fills out and anchors the Clams’ garage doo-wop sound.  There’s a welcome succinctness to Onion: the songwriting is tight, the guitar playing is melodic and utilitarian, and the vocal performances from both Cody and Shannon are more technically refined than in any of their previous outings.  One wonders if Shannon’s work on her own solo album (the very good, Dan Auerbach-produced Shannon in Nashville, which also came out this year) pushed her to improve her technique.  And don’t get it fucked up – this is still a Clams record.  It’s still shaggy and loud and rambunctious – but they’ve worked hard to reign in their wildest tendencies.  Some might say that it’s layered, just like-- *an oversized cane hooks around my throat and drags me offstage* ….Well…..let’s just say it’s good.

4. Teyana Taylor: KTSE.  Of all the seven-song mini-albums Kanye produced in Wyoming this year, KTSE is both the best and the least talked-about.  She arrives seemingly out of the blue, a fully-formed artist who knows her strengths exactly.  She has bars when she feels like spitting them, a beautiful husky alto when she feels like crooning, and a profound connection to multiple styles of club music that’s borne of her history as a dancer.  It’s become a bit trendy to nod to vogue & ballroom culture in the last few years, but while Drake’s Big Freedia feature on “Nice for What” feels a little forced, Taylor can walk it like she talks it.  A dancer by trade, her comfort in the ballroom is palpable. 

Ye keeps it simple, remaining comfortably in his wheelhouse and flipping excellent soul samples such as Billy Stewart’s “I Do Love You” (which he repurposes into a nostalgic 4/4 slapper on “Hold On”) and The Stylistics’ “Because I Love You, Girl” (which he expands into a melancholy mediation on the horn section of the original).  It’s a welcome return to form.

3. Kacey Musgraves: Golden Hour.  In her SNL performance earlier this year, Kacey Musgraves appeared as a flat-ironed, longhair disco queen.  As she slayed Golden Hour’s catchy lead single “High Horse,” I was reminded of Dolly Parton.  I’ve been spending a lot of time with Dolly’s mid-70s and early-80s catalogue this past year, having purchased vinyl copies of All I Can Do, New Harvest…First Gathering, and Dolly, Dolly, Dolly.  Parton is one of those artists whose discographies are so gigantic as to seem practically impenetrable, so I’ve been trying to hear as much as I can.  Dolly, Dolly, Dolly is an especially interesting entry: released in 1980, it was her 23rd album, and it represents a pretty clear swing for crossover success.  A handful of the tracks are straight-up disco, and these are what Musgraves called to mind.  I was thrilled – Dolly’s disco experiments were widely panned, but I think there’s a lot of good there, maybe Golden Hour would be an attempt to vindicate Parton’s vision?

Unfortunately or not, I was incorrect.  In total, Golden Hour bears more resemblance to Dolly’s friend & frequent collaborator Emmylou Harris (Kacey’s hair should’ve tipped me off, SMH).  It’s a beautiful, understated, and thoughtful set of songs that could fit as well on a folk radio station as a country one.  Like Harris, Musgraves has an innate sense of how to let a great song be great, hanging back in both arrangement and vocal performance.  She’s emotive when she needs to be (“Rainbow”), and contemplative as needed (“Golden Hour”), always letting her writing breathe.  Also, she has the confidence to bury the lead single so deep on Side B that you almost forget it’s there (and are thrilled when it is).  As a person who prefers the full album experience to that of a shuffled playlist, this is one of my very favorite tricks.

Quite simply: great songs + great arrangements = a surprising list-topper for me.

2. Blood Orange: Negro Swan.  For years, the roles of sexuality and gender in black identity have been foci of Dev Hynes’ work as Blood Orange.  He spent time with drag queens and sex workers while writing his debut album Coastal Grooves, and has often cited transgender icon Octavia St. Laurent as one of his primary influences.  But while these interests have colored his previous albums, on Negro Swan they’re the bedrock.  In a press release preceding the album, Hynes described the album as “an exploration into my own and many types of black depression, an honest look at the corners of black existence, and the ongoing anxieties of queer/people of color.  A reach back into childhood and modern traumas, and the things we do to get through it all.  The underlying thread through each piece on the album is the idea of hope, and the lights we can try to turn on within ourselves with a hopefully positive outcome of helping others out of their darkness.”

These ideas are fundamental to the songwriting, and they’re reinforced by snippets of conversations with Janet Mock and Kai the Black Angel (who adorns the cover in a durag and angel wings) peppered throughout the album’s 49 minutes.  On “Family,” Mock defines community as “the spaces where you don’t have to shrink yourself, where you don’t have to pretend or to perform, you can fully show up and be vulnerable in silence, completely empty, and that’s completely enough.”  That search for community, the desire to be seen and loved and supported as your whole self informs each of these beautiful songs.  Already a competent producer, Hynes continues to grow, selecting beautiful flourishes like the jangly, perfectly out-of-tune guitar on “Charcoal Baby” or the soft, echoing snare drum on “Dagenham Dream” to characterize the thematic content of each piece.  Negro Swan is a powerful and complete work of art.  It sounds like he’s finally found some answers to the questions he’s been asking. 

1. Dirty Projectors: Lamp Lit Prose.  On Lamp Lit Prose, David Longstreth appears to be having more fun making music than he has in years, probably because almost 100% of his band has turned over (kudos to longtime bassist Nat Baldwin, whose playing tethers him to his own beginnings).  Beyond the new Projectors themselves, Longstreth spent the months during the writing of the album making new friends in the LA music scene, and bringing them around the studio to record various parts.  Members of Haim contribute to album standout “That’s a Lifestyle,” Syd (of The Internet) anchors the refrain in “Right Now,” and Fleet Foxes’ Robin Pecknold and Vampire Weekend alumnus Rostam Batmanglij stack harmonies onto the swirling ballad “You’re The One.”

I see LLP as the second half of a diptych begun by the self-titled Dirty Projectors, released last year.  While that record wallowed in the pain of a broken relationship with former Projector Amber Coffman, LLP reveals a healed and newly in love protagonist.  Both records feature David Longstreth at his most vocally competent: he’s now able to truly execute the melismatic R&B runs he lovingly wrote and charmingly attempted in his earliest work, his diaphragm now supports his every leap and bound, and his croon is sweeter than ever before.  But furthermore, both albums expand on ideas that have popped up throughout his illustrious and impressive body of work.  Whether he’s reviving the Rise Above era blasts of noisy guitars on “Zombie Conqueror” or revisiting the orchestral ambitions of The Getty Address on the stunningly soulful “I Wanna Feel It All,” Longstreth sounds like a worker with a complete toolbox and a detailed blueprint.  He’s been working at honing his craft for years.

I saw the Projectors in June, at a time when only “Break-Thru” and “That’s a Lifestyle” had leaked.  I didn’t know what to expect, being among the seemingly small minority of fans who liked their previous record.  But their set was staggering.  Flanked by his group of mostly-new faces, Longstreth was bouncing all over the place, proudly showcasing each instrumentalist & vocalist (seemingly everyone had at least one moment in the spotlight), visibly excited about playing with this group of people.  And that makes sense: LLP is Longstreth relishing the fundamental glee of musical collaboration.  The joy is positively bubbling over in tracks like “Right Now,” “I Feel Energy,” and “I Found it in You.”  To see him play these songs live is to wonder if he’s talking about the act of musicmaking itself when he sings: “Ask now, I’m in love for the first time ever.”