stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?
Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.
Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?
Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.
south africa was banned in the olympics in 1964, 1968, 1972, 1976, 1980, 1984, 1988 & 1992. a total of 8 times. for 28 years they didn't set foot in the olympics. you know why? apartheid. apparently the olympics disagreed with the apartheid regime in south africa. russia & belarus aren't allowed to take part in the olympics this year. you know why? because of their involvement in the war in ukraine. several countries throughout history haven't been allowed to participate in the olympics because of various reason from their involvement in war to human rights abuses. now if the olympics aren't blind to all that... why in the world are they blind to what israel has been doing to gaza for the past 10 months? why is a genocidal apartheid nation allowed to participate in the olympics when any other country in its place would've been banned?
chAAAinnnnn walletz. shirts wiv Jack ssSSkellingtin that. bBoney Boney! BOYYyh :D Hau would you like to see! 👀 a INNNNN 🤤🥵flux of customehrs *big breath* SOLELY due to the ssssUDDEN rrRRrRR(😖🥵🥵🫨🤤🤤🤤👅🫦)RApid SUc-- 💦💦💦💦💥💥🤯😵-------cess 😮💨 Of. HAZZBEEN HOE-TELwe're!!!!!BACK !!!!!Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaallll the freaky little "𝕲𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖘" who smellllllike 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒐 Baaaaaaags Cummmm Trudging Thru our DOhwrs once more........... """ehdventure Tiiiiime""" ? eKhHhHN HN HMMM~~~ >:]]] 😈🦹🏻♂️ SPENNNNDINNNG TIIIIIME YOU SAUCY MINXXXXAH!
the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.