#that is the haemey way

[haemey]

Ask game my lovely mutual:

Falafel, Bentley, Alpha Centauri

(I had to recite these over and over in my head like a spell so I wouldnt forget them by the time I got to your inbox)

And now I shall have to do the same when I go back to the post to see what they mean... thanks for asking :D

Buckle up, this is a long one

Falafel - a thought I can never seem to outrun.

For me, that would be just your basic, everyday, run-of-the-mill existential dread. I just finished my studies at university and I don't have a job lined up this season. My executive dysfunction makes it hard to send out applications. And there's a bunch of other stuff I need to think of - get my own health insurance (not US, thank someone), find some students to get some money in, figure out how taxes work as a freelance musician and vocal teacher, find an agent, register as unemployed, etc. It's a lot. And all of it is stuff that shouldn't be too difficult. It's a bunch of small, relatively easy tasks. But I just can't seem to get myself to do them. Meanwhile, time is passing and the little voice in my head that goes "are you sure you're cut out for this job?" is getting louder. It's not exactly impostor syndrome - I know I'm good enough. It's more just me listening to the bullies in my own mind.

What a cheerful note to start on! Yay!

Bentley - my most prized possession.

This is a difficult one. In terms of most expensive, it's probably my e-piano. It's almost a decade and a half old by now, but it's still really good, even compared to the ones on the market now. It cost almost 2.5k€ when it was new. I didn't buy it myself, though - it was a gift from someone who wanted to support my plans to become a singer. Which is kind of crazy.

When it comes to emotional value, it's more difficult to say. I'm a bit of a hoarder and I have a hard time letting go of stuff, but I'm also not super attached to anything? Maybe the necklace my sister gave me for my birthday. It's a tiny heart-shaped pendant with an opal in it. The stone is from my late grandma's wedding ring. It had two, and my sister had both of them made into necklaces, one for me and one for her.

Alpha Centauri - where do I run off to when it feels like the end of the world?

Honestly, my bed. I tend to hole up and hibernate when things get tough. Which isn't the best strategy to deal with stress, especially when said stress comes from things needing to be done. I used to flee into games like Animal Crossing or Breath of the Wild, but I'm kind of burnt out from those. So now, it's tea, my beloved plushie I've had for like 18 years, a bunch of pillows, and fanfiction, until my mom calls and tells me to come home for the weekend. She has a weird talent for calling when I least want her to (which is to say when I actually most need her to)... and then I tell her I'll see if I can make it, because I have so much stuff to do (which is usually true, becaude I've let it build up), and of course I make the time, and I go to her place for the weekend, and I still won't feel good, but it's a little better.

Aaaand now I'm crying. PMS at 2:30am be hitting hard, yo

Was that too much information?

Sorry, not sorry

Damn, you really picked the heavy ones forst, huh 😅

[haemey]

On top of this ^^^ there's also this thing that sometimes, you need to be shocked by something to snap out of a panicked state. That can be a physical stimulus like pain (a slap in the face seems to be popular), temperature (remember that post about sucking on an ice cube when you're having a panic attack that sometimes comes up?) or really anything jarring; or a mental one, like a surprising joke, or your friend being completely ridiculous and pulling the "I'll never talk to you again" card.

Aziraphale was just as deep in panic as Crowley and had no solutions to offer either, but he managed to reset Crowley's brain to go from panic mode to problem solving mode. Whether that was intentional or not is a different question.

Aziraphale was having a fight response, if him brandishing a sword at his best friend is any indication, with nothing to fight against, so he has to defer to an equally incapacitated Crowley. Which is really cool, considering we never see him get actually aggressive in any other situation. The closest (I think) would be him shaking that bell at the Archangels and the Dark Council in S2, but that's barely comparable, or holding up the candelabra during the demon attack. Even when his shop is being invaded, he goes into defense mode instead, leaving the attacking to the humans he's trying to protect. Which is... not what I would want aguardian figure to do, but fortunately, Maggie and Nina got this.

I wonder what it would take for him to actually consider using that sword.

I like that Crowley had a freeze response when confronted by Satan in season one. I know we sometimes want characters to be total badasses and not experience fear, but... that's not realistic. And it gets old seeing a lot of characters who can handle everything thrown at them without a sweat. It's also annoying how people irl act like they'd be the hero in every difficult situation they hear about (way easier said than done, especially if you're an individual who has been exposed to chronic stress before suddenly having a difficult situation thrown at you).

Crowley looks like someone who can act... but he sometimes doesn't. He sometimes just wants to avoid his problems, or in this scene... assumes everyone is fucked now. It's not even that he's selfish either. He's probably just overwhelmed by some of his problems and assumes the easy way is the best solution. It takes Aziraphale verbally kicking him in the butt to get him to do something about it.

That's how I see it. I believe the popular hc that he has trauma.

And yes, obviously Crowley has plenty of his moments too. Rescuing Aziraphale and all.

[haemey]

Yay, I managed to write a bit over 1k for my S3 fic (after not touching it for at least a month)! Which I'm hoping to get to a publishable state before S3 drops - ideally before we even get the first peeks at it. Will I manage to do that? Only time will tell. I have been working on it on and off for about a year, now. It's actually the first fic I started.

I've almost finished chapter 5 out of... I don't even know how many. My main document is 36k/76 pages, out of which the last 25 pages are just bullet points, and that's maybe halfway into the plot. Or well, halfway into the timeline, rather. Things will pick up in the second half. Plus another 23k/44 pages in my document with later chapters. I have another 44k/101 pages (since it's mostly bullet points, so very "vertical") of notes and ideas (probably won't use all of them, though), and I haven't even dared write down some of my plotpoints.

This is going to be long, y'all O_O

And that's including all of the timeskips I'm probably going to have, since there's just no way I can come up with enough stuff to write about every day of seven weeks.

Wish me luck!

[haemey]

Silly Game Time: If you had to have a four-legged lower half of your body (like a centaur), which quadrupedal animal would you choose for your lower half?

Whatever you choose will be sized appropriately, whether you prefer to make the animal part match your human size, or to make your human part match the animal's size.

Whatever animal has a fully evolved spine that's meant to work with its form of locomotion. Especially if my lumbar spine gets replaced by the animal's. That'd be great.

Oh, and soft fur. I want something soft and cuddly.

And it should allow me to still sit somewhat normally.

... sounds like bear.

Gimme bear.

Can walk on two legs, too, so I can now reach all of the top shelves. And possobly finally install my ceiling lamp after living here for three years. And open jars. And justify eating all the salmon I want to eat.

Actually, bear sounds awesome!

[haemey]

@knifeforkspooncup and I got up to some silliness, I went "ok who's gonna write that fic" and well... this happened:

The newest addition to Credo. The title, which I'm treating rather improperly, translates to "Of all things visible and invisible."

Rated G, 5.8k words, making this the longest part of Credo to date.

Tags: Post-Scene: Soho 1967 (Good Omens), the inherent romanticism of crime, cereal as a love language, Comedy, Oneshot. Bickering, bickerflirting, POV Crowley, with a tiny bit of, POV Aziraphale, Ineffable Idiots, innuendos, the inherent eroticism of sugary cereal, does this count as, Crowley has a food kink, Author apologises, Author regrets nothing, author spent an inordinate amount of time not very successfully researching sixties cereal branding, Mention of specific branded cereals, hashtag not sponsored, tiny reference to, Period-Accurate Homophobia, Blink and you'll miss it, silliness, Crack Treated Seriously, Footnotes

Two years after Aziraphale stopped Crowley's... caper on the church, he's getting the crew back together for a different heist. Cereal-based silliness ensues.

Excerpt: “By the way, Crowley, I can’t help but notice that you seem to have taken a liking to… eating breakfast? Only, I didn’t think you had such a sweet tooth.” Blessit all. “Uh, nope. Nah. Not much for cereal, me.” He pulled a disinterested grimace, but in the face of several kilos of the stuff in his car, this was rather ineffective. And a little pathetic. Why did the angel have to show up right then, anyway? “I’m on an assignment, is what I am. Yep. Y’know, make a few parent’s lives harder by buying up all of their kids’ favourite cereal.” A thought occurred to him and he grinned at Aziraphale. “So really, you’re enabling an evil deed, here.” “Oh dear!” Aziraphale looked conflicted for a moment, then brightened right up again. “Well… really, those children should not be eating this much sugar, anyway. We’re really doing them a favour!” “Ngk.”

I had an inordinate amount of fun writing this. Half the time I was just cackling to myself :D

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

Tagging @goodomensafterdark again, thank you~

[haemey]

Since I don’t have anything new atm...

I feel like these two deserve some more love!

G- rated, 5.8k of silliness!

Featuring Crowley, Aziraphale, and the criminal trio from 1967 (except it's 1969 now) AND cereal!

It's a heist story, and it's got everything: There's action! There's banter! There's idiots! There is a single braincell!

This is... a thing.

T-rated for way too many f-bombs, 3.2k of psychic damage.

It's a Crowley POV, and... well. Let's just say the reader isn't the only one suffering. It's his own fault.

Despite the description, this is 100% angst-free. Crowley and Aziraphale go for a concert and then a dinner. The demon is being an idiot, the angel is being a bastard. Standard fare, really.

omg it’s FAN FICTION FRIDAY

Reblog and promote a fic of yours <3

[haemey]

God, I don't usually get stage fright, but just woke up from a dream where I was in the audience for the premiere of my current piece (I'm the cover). First act goes, and I realise that there are scenes in there I've never done before. Nothing difficult, but wtf is my colleague doing down there (I'm on the balcony)? [Note: this is because irl it's actually been a while since we rehearsed the first act and my colleague and I are equally panicky about it, the premiere is this Friday]

First act is over, break time. I talk to some of my friends, they tell me, but only weirdly indirectly, that I need to go backstage ASAP because my colleague is too nervous and can't do the second act, what am I still doing here? I'm confused, because she's been doing a great job and I haven't gotten a call or text or anything.

But ok, I make my way downstairs and backstage. No one there, no one panicking, so obviously false alarm. I go back upstairs. Someone else tells my I really need to go because I have to sing. I check my phone again, no messages. Realise it was in airplane mode, fuck shit damn, turn everything back on - still no messages.

Panic, run back downstairs, against the masses of people in the audience who are trying to get to their places. Have to take like weird crawl-through-holes-in-the-wall-and-squeeze-behind-seats shortcuts, but I make it. I find our stage director. She's a nervous wreck and goes "oh haemey, good that you're here, listen..." and starts rambling about something or other.

I ask her, "do I need to sing?", while I frantically put up my coat and stuff. She doesn't hear me apparently, too lost in her own thoughts, so I asl again, louder. She startles and goes "oh, uhm, well, that's, uh, yes?"

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME"

She's now crying and looks like she's a hair's breadth away from a complete breakdown. "I don't know! Well, first of all, I'm gay, and..."

"Congratulations, we knew that."

"Well, I just realised and it's new!"

"...oh."

I decided to abandon her there in favour of getting to hair & makeup as fast as I could. I woke up while thinking that I had probably ten minutes at most to get dressed, get my makeup done and warm up before the second act started. How does the second act start again...? OH FUCK RIGHT, WITH ME

When I was finally mostly awake, I realised we don't have a break between act 1 and 2 in this production, because we shortened a 3-hour opera to 90 minutes. Also, while the music was correct, they were performing the wrong opera. Also, it was the wrong colleague. Also, I have no idea if my stage director is gay or not. She might be, for all I know, but she might also be straight, I absolutely cannot tell.

And now the beginning of the second act is stuck in my head.

The costume my colleague was wearing was fire though, a dark red under fabric with gold on top, kind of like scales, so when you move, as well as where the fabric was draped to stretch a little, the red broke through the gold, it made this amazing curving shape over the body and it kind of shifted with every movement, and it was hourglass shaped like nobody's business. Now I want that costume.

[haemey]

Nothing has to change (1920 words) by haemey Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 02, Angst, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), That is… well… you'll see, Heartbreak, Standalone (for now), No beta we fall like Crowley, POV Aziraphale (Good Omens), Angels Can Sense Love (Good Omens)

Summary: As Aziraphale returns from Heaven to ask Crowley for help with the impending Second Coming, Crowley decides to take drastic measures in regards to his own feelings.   Excerpt: “Undo?” Crowley withdrew his hand, forcefully enough to make a point, gently enough to make another. “Who knows. I won't try, either way. Should have thought of that before you broke my heart Satan knows how many times.” His voice was soft now, kind despite the words. “This is better for both of us. Maybe you should do the same.” What a lie, Aziraphale thought, as he followed Crowley outside. It was a lie then, it is one now. And for a demon, you are an awful liar.

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My first fic! It's angsty and open-ended, so if that's something you're into, do check it out and let me know what you think!

omg it’s FAN FICTION FRIDAY

Reblog and promote a fic of yours <3