#haemey has idaes

[haemey]

"We could have been... us."

What if "us" wasn't only "us together" but also "ourselves?" What if Crowley was telling Aziraphale that they could have had a chance at not having to hide not only their relationship anymore, but also their being "just a little bit a good person" and "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing?" What if that's the whole point? They weren't doing a great job hiding their relationship before, but they both still guarded their true selves very closely.

With Gabriel and Beelzebub gone, with Heaven and Hell without leaders, no one to care about them anymore - they could have been... them.

[haemey]

On top of this ^^^ there's also this thing that sometimes, you need to be shocked by something to snap out of a panicked state. That can be a physical stimulus like pain (a slap in the face seems to be popular), temperature (remember that post about sucking on an ice cube when you're having a panic attack that sometimes comes up?) or really anything jarring; or a mental one, like a surprising joke, or your friend being completely ridiculous and pulling the "I'll never talk to you again" card.

Aziraphale was just as deep in panic as Crowley and had no solutions to offer either, but he managed to reset Crowley's brain to go from panic mode to problem solving mode. Whether that was intentional or not is a different question.

Aziraphale was having a fight response, if him brandishing a sword at his best friend is any indication, with nothing to fight against, so he has to defer to an equally incapacitated Crowley. Which is really cool, considering we never see him get actually aggressive in any other situation. The closest (I think) would be him shaking that bell at the Archangels and the Dark Council in S2, but that's barely comparable, or holding up the candelabra during the demon attack. Even when his shop is being invaded, he goes into defense mode instead, leaving the attacking to the humans he's trying to protect. Which is... not what I would want aguardian figure to do, but fortunately, Maggie and Nina got this.

I wonder what it would take for him to actually consider using that sword.

I like that Crowley had a freeze response when confronted by Satan in season one. I know we sometimes want characters to be total badasses and not experience fear, but... that's not realistic. And it gets old seeing a lot of characters who can handle everything thrown at them without a sweat. It's also annoying how people irl act like they'd be the hero in every difficult situation they hear about (way easier said than done, especially if you're an individual who has been exposed to chronic stress before suddenly having a difficult situation thrown at you).

Crowley looks like someone who can act... but he sometimes doesn't. He sometimes just wants to avoid his problems, or in this scene... assumes everyone is fucked now. It's not even that he's selfish either. He's probably just overwhelmed by some of his problems and assumes the easy way is the best solution. It takes Aziraphale verbally kicking him in the butt to get him to do something about it.

That's how I see it. I believe the popular hc that he has trauma.

And yes, obviously Crowley has plenty of his moments too. Rescuing Aziraphale and all.

[haemey]

Oh you guys liked my "we could have been... us" take?

Here's another heartbreaking thing I basically never see people talk about: when Crowley drives back to the bookshop to apologise for the fight over Jim, "Good old-fashioned loverboy" is playing in the Bentley. We cut to Nina and Maggier trapped in the coffeeshop, then back to Crowley.

This is in real time, the song lines up. You know what part we don't hear over Nina and and Maggie’s concersation?

"Dining at the Ritz, we'll meet at nine precisely, I will pay the bill, you'll taste the wine."

We hear the instrumental bridge before and we cut back to "driving back in style in my saloon." But, well... Crowley does get to drive back in style in the end, heartbroken though he may be, but they do not get their dinner/extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz.

This is excellent foreshadowing, I love it! It hurts everytime.

(Maybe I've seen no one talk about it because I only really joined the fandom in November and this was old news by then, but, well... in that case, let's bring it back!)

[haemey]

Ooooh, I just came up with a theory while rewatching season 1, or at least a hypothesis:

All the higher-up demons are kind of monstrous in their Hell appearances (a bit less when they're in earthly bodies). Beelzebub has boils on their face and a fly on their head, Dagon has fish scales and teeth, Hastur has the frog thing, boils, and black eyes, and Ligur the chameleon and colour changing eyes. In the group shots, there are some demons who are more or less disfigured in some way, but some also just look... perfectly normal and human. Not even weird makeup.

So.

What if, the more rebellious you were, the more disfigured you came out after the Fall? Some were turned into literal monsters, while others just maybe got sharp teeth. Crowley has his snake eyes and the sigil on his cheek, and, according to the book, it's not entirely clear if he wears snakeskin boots or it those are just his feet. So, he's kind of in the lower middle range or monstrousness? Meaning his offenses weren't as bad as others, but he was worse than some.

Maybe because he was so high ranking (Throne, Dominion or above, to be able to open the file on Gabriel), he got punished harder? Or he isn't as innocent as he likes to say? Or God just really doesn't like being questioned?

Food for thought.