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geekeryandsentiment · 4 years ago

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Hey! I hope you’re doing fine! I’m sending a few, see if any of these work for you 😄 1- Liam and “you’re embarrassing me.” 2- Alby and “that’s gross.” 3- Arthur and “you should have thought about that.” Have a great weekend!

1- Liam and “you’re embarrassing me.”

“Liz,” William almost hissed the words, using every ounce of self control in him to refrain from swatting her hand away from him. He felt his cheeks burn as his little sister continued to make kissing faces while his girlfriend’s back was turned. “Liz. Lizzie. Kitty. Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”

Elizabeth’s hand flew to her chest, “what do you mean? I’m not trying to!” Her lips curled into a small smirk as she raised an eyebrow to give him a faux questioning look.

William’s jaw clenched as he stepped forward, wrapping his hand around his little sister’s upper arm and dragging her a few steps away from his girlfriend who was distracted by a conversation with his dad. “Stop. Stop it.” He held up his free hand, leaning forward to put his face closer to hers, “don’t look at me like that. Stop it. We are in public. Lily is nervous. I am nervous. There are cameras everywhere. And if you don’t stop taunting me I’m going to make sure your life is hell for however long it takes for the press to stop reporting on your bratty attitude.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened as William’s expression darkened the longer he spoke. “Shut up, stupid,” she shrugged her shoulder, pulling her arm away from his grip.

“Leave me alone,” William’s expression grew almost pleading, “just go…I don’t know! Walk with Alex! Or find Matty. He’s around here somewhere. You can torment Lily and I when we get back to the palace.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Elizabeth’s arms crossed. “I’m just talking to her.”

William bit back a hostile reply, wanting nothing more than to bring up all the things that he could just talk to his girlfriend about that would embarrass and mortify his little sister. Before he could threaten her with any embarrassing stories, though, Waverly entered his line of sight, pulling his attention away from his little sister.

“Mum,” William pointed at his little sister as the older woman approached them, a questioning look on her face. “Tell Lizzie to leave Lily and I alone. Please.”

“Lizzie,” Waverly’s voice wasn’t chiding, but it didn’t leave any room for debate, “why don’t you go ask your aunt if she wants a break from holding Lucas? Hmm? Maybe you can help feed hi before he goes down for a nap?”

William breathed out a sigh of relief when an excited smile spread across his little sister’s face and she disappeared, running off to steal their baby cousin away from their aunt.

“Thank you,” he mouthed to Waverly, spinning on his heel and making his way back over to his girlfriend, fully intending to save her from whatever God-awful conversation she was probably stuck having with his dad.

2- Alby and “that’s gross.”

Alexander leaned forward, his nose almost touching Elaina’s as she continued to speak, her voice growing quieter.

“–and that’s really hardly an excuse. I don’t think he should be allowed to run again if…if he’s…he’s been so very corrupt…and…” Elaina trailed off, her eyes dropping to Alexander’s lips, almost looking cross-eyed for a few moments. “You have cookie crumbs on your lips.”

“Do I?” Alexander raised a brow, “are you sure? Maybe you should check?”

Elaina huffed, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she heard her boyfriend’s chuckle in response to his terribly cheesy attempt to ask for a kiss. “Okay,” she couldn’t resist, pressing her lips against his for several long seconds. “Yes, I can definitely taste your mother’s cookies.”

“Ewwww,” Albert’s face scrunched up as he stood in the doorway, “that’s gross.”

Elaina and Alexander froze, their heads turning slowly to meet the gaze of the six-year-old in the doorway.

“Why did you eat a cookie off of his lips?” Albert stepped into the room, his judgmental expression, “it’s…gross. It’s already been in Alex’s mouth.”

“It’s just kissing, Baby,” Elaina pulled her feet up onto the couch, watching as the six-year-old walked across the room and snagged a cookie from the plate in the center of the coffee table. “One day you’ll understand.”

“It’s gross, and it’s how you get sick. You’ll give each other all your germs!” Albert took a bite of his cookie, his expression growing exasperated. “What if Alex is almost sick? Not sick, but like he’s gonna be sick tomorrow and he doesn’t know yet but he’s still courageous now even though he doesn’t know it and then you get sick now because you kissed him!”

Elaina blinked, not able to address all the words that Albert just said because she was caught up on one. “Courageous?” She turned to look over at Alexander, her eyebrows pinching together. “Is he wrong or am I?”

Alexander held back a snort, raising a finger and pointing at his little brother, “it’s contagious, Baby.”

Elaina relaxed slightly, shaking her head as she recovered quickly from worrying that she had used those two words wrong her entire life. “And…even if he is contagious,” Elaina emphasized the word, turning her attention back to her boyfriend. “I think I’ll risk it. Come here.”

“Ewwww!” With his mouth full of cookie, Albert covered his eyes and ran from the room. “Mummy! Alex and Ellie are kissing again!”

3- Arthur “you should have thought about that.”

“I’ve decided not to be Queen anymore,” Waverly lowered herself back into her husband’s deck chair, raising her heels onto his desk, using her free hand to gently stroke baby Alexander’s face. “I’m just going to have babies. You can do all the running the country and I’ll just have children and play with them all day long.”

Arthur was only half-listening to his wife as he read over a few papers. “That sounds fine.”

Waverly raised a brow, a small smirk forming on her lips, “I think we should just have another one right now.”

“Okay,” Arthur turned the page he was reading over and began to skim it, making a few lines down and making a few notes. “In a few minutes.”

“Like now,” Waverly chuckled, not at all upset that her husband was so clearly not paying attention to her. “I want to announce that I’m pregnant again in a few months, and just keep having babies until I’m forty. I think we can probably fit in another eight or nine, minimum.”

“Mhmm,” Arthur hummed, chuckling softly as he did begin to listen to his wife speak, hearing from her tone first that clearly what she was saying was outrageous, and then catching the second half of her statement. He stifled a laugh, but didn’t respond.

“Yes,” Waverly’s voice rose in pitch as she leaned forward and kissed her son’s face, “I’ll fill this palace with little babies and you’ll just stay little babies forever.”

Arthur huffed, refraining from commenting on the tantrum of epic proportions their eldest child had thrown the night before over bath time.

“I don’t want to be Queen,” Waverly’s mock pout was evident in her voice, pressing several long kisses to her child’s forehead. “I just want to be Mumma forever and ever.”

“I suppose you should have thought about that before you married the king,” Arthur lifted his head, a small smile on his lips. “How is William? Is he still napping?”

Waverly nodded her head, a wide grin spreading across her lips, “and this one woke up in a very happy mood.”

“Only because you’re holding him,” Arthur commented, pushing himself onto his feet, the paperwork not he table long forgotten as he walked around his desk, peeking over his wife’s shoulder at their almost two-month old son. “What happens if we have eight more and they all demand to be held like him?”

“I suppose we’ll have to grow more hands,” Waverly stated seriously, tipping her head back to give her husband a serious look. “I will not have my babies lacking the care and affection they desire.”

“Of course not,” Arthur didn’t comment on the physiological impossibility of growing more hands, instead he just leaned down and pressed a kiss to his wife’s head. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

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Thought I managed to get a little bit of everyone in these three. Hope you like them :)

#Just a little treat #Biden won the election and I can't even tell you how relieved I am #Liam #Arthur #Waverly #Alex #Elaina #Alby #Lizzie

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rebellect-writes · 4 years ago

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[b]Name:[/b] Jess. [b]Age:[/b] 20. [b]How did you find us?:[/b] Ummm...

[b]Name:[/b] Alexander-James White. [b]Nicknames:[/b] [LIST] [*] AJ White. [*] Alex. [*] Prat Prince. [/LIST][b]Age:[/b] 28. [b]Date of Birth:[/b] August 31st, 1984. [b]Gender:[/b] Male. [b]Sexual Orientation:[/b] Bisexual. [b]Occupation:[/b] Bar tender at Club Hell and food for vampires that call the underground complex home.

[b]Animal:[/b] Wolf. [b]Animal Description: [/b] [IMG]http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyc8izHx2B1r6bovho1_500.jpg[/IMG][LIST]In wolf form, he’s powerfully built there’s no denying that. With a dense fluffy mottled grey, white and black coat, he looks nothing like your average dog in this form, but from a distance, he can pull off looking like a husky, especially if he wears a collar. He doesn’t wear a collar though, and his amber eyes give away a human intelligence that no normal mutt could. He weighs in at 180lbs in this form, a large 6’5 inches in length from nose to tail tip and stands 31 inches tall at the shoulder. [/LIST][b]Do you have a hybrid/Alpha form?:[/b] [URL=http://static.open.salon.com/files/werewolf_21252782517.jpg]ALPHA FORM[/URL][LIST]His alpha form is what he calls his ace in the hole. Standing tall at 6’9 feet tall and weighing 400lbs, this shaggy beast can be a little intimidating, but only just a little when he’s up close and personal. The dense grey and black coat covers him from head to toe, with the lighter white patches spanning across his chest and belly. He’s not one of those Hollywood werewolves either, even if there are claws, and paws where hands and feet should be, a bushy tail and a muzzle packed full of fangs. A.J’s perfectly capable of talking in this form and not a mindless monster. Capable of talking, that is, if you can understand what he’s saying under the growling tone. [/LIST][b]Rank:[/b] Suttung. [b]How long have you been a lycanthrope?:[/b] 12 years. (Infected at age 14) [b]Mindset:[/b] Dominant enough. [b]Power level:[/b] Alpha.

[b]Face Claim:[/b] Bradley James. [b]Description:[/b] [IMG]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfsx48zc121qgozudo1_r1_500.jpg[/IMG][LIST][i]Height:[/i] 6’1 [i]Weight:[/i] 165lbs [i]Eyes:[/i] Icy blue. [i]Hair:[/i] Blonde. [i]Build:[/i] Lean but toned, oh yes. [i]Visible marks:[/i] Alexander has a nasty looking bite scar in the crook of his elbow from where the werewolf that infected him, managed to get a good hold and tear into his arm. He’s thinking about getting a tattoo, but he isn’t sure what one he wants yet. He has a small birthmark on his left hip and that’s about it. [i]Style:[/i] Well, if it’s comfortable he’ll wear it. It doesn’t matter to him really, but he does try to make whatever he pulls on in the mornings, look good be it raggedy jeans and a t-shirt or something else all together. [/LIST][b]Special Skills:[/b][LIST] [*] He’s a good listener; it comes with the job of being a bar tender. [*] Got a way with the local wolf callers, he’ll come to them willingly as long as don’t force him to shift. [*] Good with blades, oh yes he is. His father made sure of this from an early age. [/LIST][b]Personality:[/b][LIST]AJ is just your typical lad, from a typical snobby family maybe, but typical nonetheless. Sure he may come off a little distant at times, but that’s only because he has no idea of what to say or do at times. It doesn't mean that he doesn't try and muddle on, even when moments like that crop up. It's just what he does, moves on with things, really. He’s a bit loud of course, likes to do things his own way when and if he can, and if he has to, he’ll follow other peoples lead as long as they’re decent at leading.

There is the odd chance that he won’t actually follow someone’s lead and that’s when he thinks or knows that whoever’s trying to get him to follow is a complete and utter idiot. People with an ounce of sense rattling around in their heads, he’ll give them a chance, those that don’t have two brain cells to rub together can wander off and get themselves hurt. That would probably explain his trust issues, he’s never had a father or anyone really stable in his life so he’s not likely to go out and open up his heart or put a noose around his neck for just anyone.

Despite the odd occasional trust issue, he’s a natural born leader. He says and does what he wants, and isn’t easily put into a spot that forces him to do the complete opposite. You could say that he was loyal to what he believes in, loyal to the few real friends that he does have and if his father ever decided to welcome him back and accepted his werewolf side, AJ would be a loyal and loving son to him too. Even with his few issues, he’s a pretty easy kind of guy. Good to have at your back in a fight, polite and if he pushes himself, could charm the birds out of the trees.

AJ likes to have a laugh, even if his actions get him into trouble, it doesn’t mean that life has to be such a drag that he has to be so serious all the damned time. Let’s not forget that when he isn’t being a good mate, or a listener to some drunk at work, he can be – at times – idiotic, bull headed, brash, annoyingly whiny and a multitude of other things that I’m sure Danny will tell you all about. [/LIST][b]Likes:[/b][LIST] [*] Hanging out with friends after work. [*] Horse riding! He does actually spend time at the local stables. [*] Having someone he can trust at his back. [*] Orange juice in the mornings. [*] Not getting caught up in local gossip. [*] Werecats, when they aren't being annoying. [*] Helping the pack whenever he can. [*] Relaxing in the tub once in a while. [*] Vanilla ice cream. [*] Running in the morning. [/LIST][b]Dislikes:[/b][LIST] [*] People that can’t take a joke in any form. [*] Needless fighting. [*] Having to sit things out. He has to find ways around things quickly. [*] Late nights, followed by early mornings. [*] Werewolf flicks. It’s good to see how people have messed up. [*] The ideas of being a submissive to anyone. [*] Idiots in the pack. They make him growl. And then snarl... [*] Clingy women. [*] Getting ignored or talked over. It really makes him…whine. [*] People bringing up his parents or his family. [/LIST][b]Weaknesses:[/b][LIST] [*] Bull-headed at times. Totally charges into things without thinking. [*] Doesn't trust people unless they prove themselves. [*] Wounds from other alpha weres heal slowly, almost human slow. [*] A pretty face can kill him every time. [*] Using his alpha form repeatedly uses up too much energy. [*] He doesn’t know how to show his appreciation properly. Or much emotion for that matter. [/LIST][b]Strengths:[/b][LIST] [*] Listens to people before making his mind up. [*] Defiantly stubborn at times. [*] Loyal. No mutt jokes thank you very much. [*] Potential leadership qualities. [*] A good tracker in both wolf form and human form. [*] He knows when to ‘retreat’ when there’s a need for it. [/LIST][b]Family:[/b] [LIST] [*] Father: Colin White: 57 yo: Alive. [*] Mother: Angela White: 49yo: Deceased. [*] Stepmother: Bridget White: 55yo: Alive. [*] Half Sister: Lenora White: 18yo: Alive. [*] Step Brother: Jeffery White: 13yo: Alive. [*] Grandmother: Janet Ashton: 67yo: Alive. [/LIST][b]History:[/b][LIST]He’s a London born brat that’s had no real purpose in his life until he was infected with werewolf lycanthropy and managed to pull himself away from his ‘family life’, but if you insist, I guess I have to tell you his life story. In that Readers Digested, condescended version, anyway. What? I don’t want to bore you to death after all.

Born in the Autumn of ’84 to Colin and Angela White, what was supposed to be a happy day for the White’s was short lived as mere hours after Alexander James was born into the world, Angela suffered from an unforeseen side effect of the drugs she’d been given during labour. It was a joyous day, and a devastating one all at the same time. Alexander was left without a mother and Colin without a wife, and for the babe, while it didn’t impact him then it certainly shifted the way Colin viewed his boy subconsciously. If AJ hadn’t been born, he’d still have had a loving wife, but that was just the way the cookie crumbled. It wasn’t like his father would abandon him though, much, even if he had been born into a one man’d blue blood family.

Growing up without a mum wasn’t that bad, at least that’s what Alexander thought all the time, as he did the things that normal kids did. Went to school, made friends, had silly little one hour crushes that lasted through the lunch time break only to die when he went back to class. At the end of each day though, when he walked to the gates of the primary school he attended, watching the kids get collected by beaming mothers with buggies and dogs, Alexander always felt a bit jealous and he threw temper tantrums in the Lexus on the way home with only the chuffer or maid that picked him up to try and talk him down from it before they got home. Most of the time, it worked, and some times it didn’t, and Colin caught wind of it.

Bless Colin’s heart, he did try to be a good dad – and yeah, he failed epically – to see what A.J wanted so those anger issues took root and became steadily worse as he got older. There was that typical rebellion stage when he hit his early teens. The thing that really stuck in the youngster’s craw was that around the time of his fourteenth birthday, his father brought along some woman, Bridgit, that he’d been seeing and with her, these two younger kids and his future siblings, Lenora and Jeffery. A.J didn’t like it, didn’t like them and he certainly didn’t like the fact that his father had ‘ruined’ his fourteenth birthday. After all, it was just supposed to be them camping in the Lake District and he took off from the rented cabin without so much as a ‘may I be excused?’.

Probably shouldn’t have done that, in retrospect. The lad didn’t answer his phone when his father blew it up with voicemail, nor did he turn back when it started to get cold and then rain, nor did he stop when it got dark. He just kept going. Now, when you grew up watching horror movies with the staff that his father employed on the family estate, the moment the werewolf howl cut through the early night, the first thing that came to his mind was the older and uber scary movie, [i]An American wolf in London[/i]. And then he did something even more stupid then not calling his father and asking to be picked up, he ran out of the woods he’d been walking in and out into an open field with a freshly bitten werewolf following on his heels. [i]Beware of the moon, and stick to the path.[/i] You don't say...

Well, like you’d expect from any wild animal, the attack was very messy. There was no nip on the leg like some would expect. The newly turned lycanthrope tore into the boy leaving him at deaths door, the pack that came out of the woodwork did all they could do to help him, even had the resident witch and her apprentice step in and try and help A.J while the Ulfric got the other wolves under control and somewhere else very far away from the two witches and the teenager knowing that if A.J survived, then the kid would be changed for life.

It was touch and go for a few days, but when A.J finally came around; he found his father sat beside his hospital bed, crying his eyes out over the idea of losing his boy. There was no sight of Bridget or her kids, and in a twisted round about way it was nice. Shocking, but nice. And Alexander had no idea what to do next expect heal up and work from there, hell, he didn’t trust his fathers new found emotions and to top it off, the moment he could move without being helped by a nurse, Bridget was back and he was shocked to find out that while he’d been in hospital, his father had grown smitten for this woman and had proposed. It was enough to knock down Alexander; he didn’t have the strength to fight his father and some woman with her own baggage. Less than a month later, Bridget Banks became his step mother and legal guardian should something happen to his father. It was so lame!

What was even worse, with his new mother - he flat out refused to call her mum like she insisted - he started to feel different. Like there was something under his skin, waiting for the right moment to come out of hiding and take on the world. His shrink put it down to the emotional trauma of a wild animal attack and the new addition to the family, but he wasn't convinced. So the typical teenager angst hid what was really going on until one night, he excused himself from dinner intending to go to bed early...And he passed out...Only to wake up naked in the forest not far from the house, with a stranger stood over him. That did not go down too well, considering the guy was naked too and looked like he’d been dragged through a hedgerow backwards.

Before Alexander could freak out, the other werewolf told him about what had happened. How he'd been sent to watch out for him since his release from the hospital. AJ was also told that werewolves were real, and so were vampires and everything else that came straight from the fairy tales. The coolest thing – in retrospect, he knew that he should have been shocked – that he learnt was that he was a werewolf too. The only snag in that train of thought was that he had to tell his father, but Quincy, the other werewolf, said that he didn’t have to if he didn’t want. The pack would help him out behind the scenes until AJ was ready to tell his dad. That made A.J’s day, and he accepted the deal.

However, he didn’t tell his family until he was eighteen and thinking about moving out of the family house. By that time, he had a pretty good handle on his wolf too, thanks to help from the local pack. At first his dad thought it was a joke, some elaborate prank for attention, and even went as far as demanding proof and AJ just couldn’t do it to him. He apologized for taking up his father’s time and went back to hunting for a place to live. He found it in the unlikeliest place, some city in the North called Jackford, it sounded vaguely familiar. After tossing the name out casually one evening during dinner, and was surprised to learn that his birthmother had come from there, and that his grandmother still lived there. He didn't even think that his father had known what he'd been saying until Alexander didn't speak up again after that little revelation.

Well, not until seven months later when he was packing up his jeep and on the way to Jackford, already having been in contact with the local Ulfric, Joel, and his grandmother. At nineteen years old, the world outside of something that he’d known most of his life was a big place but he managed to get a room at the Kiss’s compound under the promise that he’d give blood and work for his keep. He agreed, and to make things better, his gran didn’t seem to mind much either. She was cool with him being a werewolf; he’d told her that the first time he’d talked to her over the phone. Things really were starting to look up for him. They’ve been pretty good times ever since he rolled into town. AJ’s been a long standing member of the pack, met some pretty good mates and keeps his head down unless there’s trouble and just gets on with his life.

His father still hasn’t accepted that he’s a werewolf to this day; denial is a strong emotion after all. However, it isn’t like he can change what he is. He still expects his dad to sit him down and try and turn a conversation around, as if he’s got some kind of curable disease and if he stops being a werewolf, he can just be normal. Yeah, and pigs will fly. [/LIST]

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ruffiorocks · 5 years ago

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Supegirl season 5 ep 2 review

Little late to the game with episode! But here goes!

Opening scene..... ugh they really are trying hard with the 'tech is bad' trope aren't they?

Nawww Alex made brekkie and now she's sad she might have killed Kelly! Am I the only one who wants Danvers Blueberry Pancakes?

Nawww Brainy made brekkie!! 😂😂 Nia is hilarious and adorable!

Sooo James is going to be a senator? Oh for RAOs sake! He's a photographer who allied himself with Anti Alien Nazi's and is a bloody vigilante!! Not an ex vigilante a CURRENT out and proud vigilante. Correct me if I'm wrong but vigilantes aren't usually wanted in politics right? Oh but we need to send James off on a high note, so let's give him the worst idea since making him CEO of Cat Co!

I quite like the twist that if a green Martian attacks his brother he gets pain to.

Oh so Kelly is ahead of her time with her tech! Kew waves! Go Kelly!!

Sooo... I know Kara is worried about Jonn by she knew she had a meeting to go to but is taking advantage again?

Oh that little girl is good at acting creepy!

Awww Lena is talking to Hope like this is her best friend, it's the way she gets excited, like when she used to talk to Kara! It's so sad 😥

Hmm... Lena talks about how humans and aliens lie but it's not their fault it's just how they are programmed. I almost thought this was a suttle way of Lena saying she doesn't blame Kara for lying , like She's making an excuse for her.

Lena's idea is actually a noble one, it's what everyone dreams of. A world where people can't hurt eachother, but it's not a plausible reality. The writers really are trying to make Lena unstable, which to be fair after everything she's been through she probably is.

It's soooo out of character for Lena to want to use or basically steal someone else's tech since people have been using her tech for nefarious purposes since day one! This isn't Lena, she's done a complete 180 that makes zero sense.

Oh so Kara decided to show up to work ? Hang on a sec, Nia called Kara to say Andrea was on the war path because she won't start the meeting without everyone there, but Nia waited until Kara got there to go into it? Is she trying to get on Andrea's bad side? Go to the meeting Nia!!

Kara can't stop looking her nose down at Andrea can she? Oh she was given an assignment but it's apparently below her?? Oh she's trying to get another great story thought someone else she knows.. ugh. Like I know it's good to use for resources but Kara has such unfair advantages. How about going after a story you haven't had handed to you on a silver platter?

Oh so now Kara has been told she can do both stories but Nadrwa wants hers done first (fair) and wants it done by noon (fair) but apparently Kara doesnt have time for this? No!! This is getting silly now, Kara this is YOUR job! You can't decide when you want to do it or decide when it's convenient. If kara can't do the job because of Supergirl she shouldn't be doing it. Kara needs to learn she isn't working for Cat, Lena or James anymore. This is the real world now, no more Molly coddling.

I'm loving Kelly this episode! She's only been around 5 minutes and is already way more interesting than James has ever been.

Lena is frighteningly calm right now. Lena can monitor Eve's brain and Eve is telling her that 'they' are controlling her but this doesn't interest Lena at all? NO!! Lena Luthor would be beyond interested in this!

Oh so now Kara is pissed she has to be 'stuck at work' instead of doing her super stuff. THIS.....IS.....YOUR.....JOB!! She's not even subtle with her muttering when she walks past William. When did Kara get like this?

😂😂 the sushi scene was hilarious!

Oh Alex and Brainy discussing relationships is adorable! Her voice went up and then she deepened it 😂

Aww Kelly is amazing helping our Jonn! Although those contacts are creepy as heck!

I love how Kelly was automatically accepted into the group but I wish Lena had been given the same courtesy.

Oh so now Kara is just sneaking out of Cat Co without even bothering with real excuses now?

Kara a isn't trapped in a Tower Alex! Kara is choosing to be there and making life difficult for herself because she refuses to even try and get on with Andrea.

So clearly something is up with Williams wife?

This show really likes it's white Martians.

Ohhh so Jonns brother is the reason the Green Martians downfall.

Oh wow, his brother just killed a teenage Martian and were those mass graves? Supergirl isn't pulling it's punches at the moment.

Oh so that's yet another white martian that was killed when it could have been captured. So that whole "we don't kill rule" really has been thrown out the window. Not that they ever stuck by it anyway.

Hahaha they all stink! Brainy is hilarious

Alex in tech gear on a bike gives me life.

Sooo Nia's job now is to call Kara whenever she's about to get into trouble? Kara you're putting on Nia now and it isn't fair!

So Kara is back at Cat Co and Andrea is miffed (rightly so) that Kara couldn't do the one thing she was asked to do. Kara thinks by saying 'i was about to file it' which she absolutely wasn't at all about to do then Andrea should shug it off. William did it ans Kara is pissed, well Kara maybe you should have done the one small job you were given to do. I get she has super duties, but that is Kara's choice.

Andrea tells her to do some copy exciting, Kara is surprised and put out by this I'm not a copy editor ' Well Kara, you were given your job to do but apparently couldn't do it.

Kara is so miffed she isn't being Molly coddled anymore by her bosses. William was actually right, Kara should be doing that.

Oh so Kara just had an actual tantrum and dropped the work she was given on Williams desk and told him to do it. Sooo.... Kara once again is above doing the one thing her boss asked her to so! Seriously Kara should be sacked!! I would have sacked her by now.

Ooh Andrea and Lena show down. Hold the bloody phone!! Lena's assistant is Andrea's best friends girlfriend?!! This is another betrayal!! That assistant let Andrea in, and Lena was surprised she's there! Sooo other than Jess, is Lena allowed a freaking assistant that isn't going to double cross her or go behind her back?! Enough writers! Enough with the God Damn betrayals it's getting so old!!

Again, Lena isn't the type to try and mess with someone sense tech and steal it!! No!! This isn't her!

Oh so Lena is addicted to the lenses, Andrea even said she was 'cut off' sooo.. This tech is basically a drug??

Brainy is cute with the food 😅 'my heart also burns! 😂 Nia telling Brainy she likes lots of things is going to bite her in this ass

Oh so Kara has abandoned work again!! To have a brew with Jonn at her loft? Even Jonn says 'shouldn't you be working?" Yes Jonn she should be! But Kara says he's a welcome distraction, erm... a distraction from what Kara? You haven't actually done any work or really even been at Cat Co all day!! You were given one job!

Oh so another reference to Williams wife? Intriguing 🤔

I love how it only took a touch from Alex to know that wasn't Kelly! Nawww!!

Hang on!! All the Super watches are connected? Shouldn't Lena's have gone off to? I don't remember Lena being in on any of this?

Ahh so Alex did in fact kill the White Martian.

James says 'we' have to go to Kelly? 'we?!!'

Ok so Alex V Kara is awesome!! Chyler bravo!

Holy shit! James actually brought along is civilian unarmed sister to a massive dangerous super fight? What the hell was he thinking?!!

Awww Alex knows it IS Kelly though a touch.

That fight was epic!!

Flying Chyler!!

Alex knew it was the real Kelly!

Oh look Kelly could have fallen to her death because d**khead James who wants to be a senator brought his unarmed sister to a dangerous fight where neither she NOR He should have been anywhere near!

Hang on, James is supposed to not be allowed to be Guardian anymore! That was the whole point of Lena trading info to stop him going to.jail.... but now it's suddenly OK? Do the people who called him about being a senator know about this?!! This is just stupid now!

Oh so now Kara is back at work and decided she has time to do her job.

😂 Kara is accusing William of sabotaging her when she's actually doing a fine job of doing that all on her own.

Nawww Alex and Kelly are the best!! She really frikken likes her! She called her 'my kelly".

😂😂😂 omg Brainy in Nia's apartment! I'm dying 🤣

Oh what Lena did Eve isn't OK, I love Lena but this is NOT ok. Lena is seriously needed up right now, but she knows she shouldn't be doing this, you can see the tears in her eyes. That slow Girls Wanna Have Fun is actually really fitting.

The writers have moved Lena here to quickly. The Lena we know would never have dine that. That's like making Nia suddenly evil! It makes no sense!

See Kara, Andrea is good when you actually do the job she asked ya to do.

Nawww William isn't so bad!

I don't trust Hope, having a body just marks her more human and capable.

Sooo over all a good episode! Best parts were the Non Alex/Kara show down and the Alex and Kelly parts! Worst bits? Totally OOC Lena that makes zero sense, and Kara's 'I'm above this and can't be bothered' attitude towards her job.

Or her good bits include Kelly and Jonn working together and ALL of Brainy!

Minor worst bit? Everything they did with James.

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara Danvers #alex danvers #kelly olsen #anti james olsen #jonn jonzz #brainy #brainiac 5 #brainia #nia nal #eve teschmacher #eve tessmacher #andrea rojas #william dey #supergirl #dansen

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piratewithvigor · 5 years ago

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A Review Of Classic Rock Fanfics I Wrote When I Was 12 That I Cringed Over For Years And Now Find Oddly Hilarious Now

GNR

Back In The Shadows: My necessary vampire AU where 3/5 of the original members are vampires and there’s a lot of angst. May rewrite someday with less cringey dialogue and more smut. 7/10

Crashing And Burning: A world where music is illegal and Axl has voices in his head that are the souls of dead musicians. Pretty much everyone makes an appearance. Steven has a stuffed elephant named Stacy. Would have been great if I ever finished it. 9/10

Junk: Written as a gift. Izzy and Steven create their own Christmas ornaments after realising how expensive they are. Little bit of shipping, but not enough. Feels rushed. 4/10

Meltdown: Axl throws a tantrum. I wrote one scene when I was angsty at my parents and then added a shoddy beginning and end. 3/10

Sleepless On D Block: Proud as hell of this one. The only one I was brave enough to post on AO3. Izzy is a death row guard who falls in love with his inmate- Axl. Like The Green Mile, but more gay. 10/10

Motley Crue

Ink: A badly-written poem about Nikki’s tattoos from his POV. For only 4 verses, it packs a punch. 6/10

Love, Nikki: It should have stayed as one chapter. Was going to be an imagining of Nikki’s suicide note to his bandmates. Progressed into the aftermath of the suicide where he’s forced to watch the world slowly forget about him. Why did young me romanticise this so much? 2/10

The Outlaw And His Whore: A wild-west AU with a Twincest ship (is that the ship name for them?) that I wimped out of writing an actual sex scene for, so I decided that Vince was narrating a sexual fantasy out for them in present day instead. Pretty much unreadable. 0/10

Rush

A Love Poem: Another angst poem. In this one, Alex is writing it for his husband, Geddy, who died of cancer. Made everyone who read it cry, which was exactly my intention. 7/10

By-Tor And The Snow Dog: A cross between Lion King 2 and Lord Of The Rings, but with Rush. I hadn’t planned it out enough, so it died after 2 chapters. Could have been epic. 4/10

I Do The Best I Can: Written for a prompt about how John would feel after having been replaced and how it impacts his relationship with Alex. Actually fairly proud of this one. 8/10

July 21, 2005: The date of gay marriage being legalised in Canada. Complete with a Dirxst ship and only 100 words long. 4/10

Just One More Story?: ‘What if these rockers read their own fanfics?’ was the question this resolves, complete with excerpts from Dirxst fanfics written by writers I admired (only one acknowledged their inclusion and loved it). Would have preferred to use my own writing. 6/10

Sleep With Me?: Geddy and Alex finds Neil’s attempt at erotic writing. 3/10

The Trees: Basically a fanfic written for kids based on The Trees. 2/10

Workin Them Angels: Another gift. Another unplanned story that went sour. After a near-death experience, Geddy meets Alex, his guardian angel. 1/10 and I’m sorry to the gal I tried to write it for.

Led Zeppelin

Dyfi Valley: Robert and Jimmy write Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp while in seclusion in a cabin together. Casual homoerotic undertones, but there doesn’t have to be if it isn’t your thing. Mostly just two guys being dudes and appreciating each other’s beauty. 9/10

Miracle Worker: AU where Jonesy is a roadie and bass tech who Robert recruits to take over his own bass duties while on the road to reduce strain on himself. Not bad for 3 hours’ work. 7/10

Quick Lovin: A 100-word drabble about Robert subtly domming Jimmy during Moby Dick. Good for brief smut. 5/10

The Traveling Wilburys

And They Never Forgot: A few words in honour of Tom Petty’s death. Published the day of. 6/10

Van Halen

Another Blonde: Dave being salty about being replaced. 8/10

I Charge By The Hour: Eddie and Dave get together after being perfectly uncomfortable with each other in the name of lending one another PA equipment. Not as awkward as it feels. 7/10

Queen

Who Wants To Live Forever?: Freddie comforts his band in his final hours. Sad as hell and I did not know a single thing about Queen when I wrote it. 4/10

Alice Cooper

The Strange Case Of Mr Vincent And Alice Cooper: Vincent Furnier is slowly possessed by the spirit of a girl named Alice Cooper, slowly corrupting his mind and driving him away from his bandmates until she can achieve world domination through him. Great beginning, lousy end. Had to watch the 1969 Rock Festival Performance too many times to write it. 6/10

Kiss

Beyond The Makeup: Paul contemplates his identity as he suits up for a show. Totally a ripoff of the opening of his book, Face The Music. 2/10

Hooligan: Ace and Paul put on each other’s makeup. 1/10

David Bowie (And Rolling Stones)

Lazarus: Written with lines from the song, this was written for the first anniversary of Bowie’s death, cause I was feeling emotions. 4/10

Miss You: David and Mick’s reunion after spending months apart. Then they realise that Charlie is in the bathroom with them. A great amount of awkward, but I still kind of like the ship. 6/10

Sweethearts: A collection of bad one-shots with David and Mick just being a couple in love. Features Saturday morning cartoons, baking cookies and a bachelor auction. 5/10

The Doors

The Neighbor Upstairs: My first and only attempt at an OC within fanfics. No one hated it, but no one really loved it. Also my first story. My first review was a notice that it had been improperly formatted. 1/10

Crossovers

The L.A. Vampires: Alice Cooper, Jimmy Page and Ozzy Osbourne gather for their yearly feasting ritual and to induct their newest member of their group, Nikki Sixx, but Nikki is missing and about to face his first bloodlust. A slightly better vampire AU, but not as well-crafted as my first. Best part is the title’s word play. 4/10

Bitch’s Brew: Tommy Lee and Steven Adler join destructive forces and create a cocktail made with all their leftover alcohol. They then make a drinking game bet where the loser has to destroy Axl’s room and stay there to face the wrath. It ends with a pretty sweet kiss. 8/10

#Writing #Classic Rock #yes this whole post is me feeding my ego #but also a little bit of looking back on my teens fondly #GNR #Guns N Roses #Motley Crue #Led Zeppelin #Rush #Kiss #Alice Cooper

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a-million-little-stories-blog · 8 years ago

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Always Yours

I’m back with a new story. Hope you’ll like it. You can visit my AO3 page, where you’ll find this story and more: http://archiveofourown.org/users/Millkywaay

Chapter 1: Buddy

Hello Weekend! No, not the boy-toy new Selena's boyfriend... The actual weekend. Two days off to relax and recover after four days of intense work and one of partying a little bit too hard and long. That's exactly how Alexandra's week went. She's an interior designer who works with ordinary and famous people and does movie set designs. She loves her job, she practicaly lives for it. Alex is always searching for new ideas and fills her calendar with new projects. Her small office in downtown is bussier than Miranda's in The Devil wears Prada.

It was Saturday. Alex woke up at 9 in the morning-as usual-brushed her teeth, jumped into favorite workout outfit and took her dog for a run at the beach. Buddy was his name. Bud was a labrador retriever who loved food as much as Alex did and because this breed is considered more likely to get fat than other breeds, Alex made sure he ran with her to stay in shape. Buddy always listened to her, but today of all days, when he knew he will be going to the vet for check-up, he decided it was the perfect time to throw a tantrum. While Alex stopped for a moment to breathe and tie her shoe laces, Buddy charged forward and ran after some guy's dog almost making the man fall down on his ass. "Bud, c'mon!" Alex huffed and ran after him. Thank god it was still too early for most of the people to come down to the beach. Less embarrassement. "Buddy, I'm not joking, come here or I swear I will leave you to the vet!" she shouted to the dog who barked back, like a child he sometimes was, and jumped into the water.

"He's got some spirit" the owner of the other rebelious dog said with a grin.

"You have no idea" Alex laughed watching Buddy rub himself in the sand "I'm sorry he almost knocked you down"

The man smiled, gesturing "It's fine. I would've survived"

"I sencerely doubt that. When Buddy comes at you, believe me, he comes at you" she joked making the owner laugh.

"Okay, I believe you" he kneeled down to pet his dog who came back wet from swimming with Buddy."What am I going to do with you, huh Dodge?"

"Buddy, come here" Alex said once again, more sternly this time and the labrador came as slowly as he could, eyes guilty, tail between his legs.

"Look at those eyes" the man said "How can you be mad at him?"

"I can pretend" Alex smiled and put the leash on her dog "No treats for you today" she stated looking at Buddy who whined in protest and lied down on the sand.

"Well, don't punish him too hard" he said with a smile and put the leash on his own dog "C'mon, let's get home" he said and smiled goodbye to Alex.

She smiled back thinking that the man looked familiar, like she's seen him before. Maybe she did. They both were at the beach, so maybe he also came here to walk his dog. "Let's go home" she said to Buddy who obayed and together they walked back to their apartment building.

Alex was about to blow dry her hair when her phone rang. She quickly tip toed to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed to pick it up "Hello?"

"Hey there, kiddo! You sound weird. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Hey, Bob. No, no, I'm fine. What's up?"

"Before I tell you, can you promise me to just listen and don't say a word before I'm finished?" he asked hopefuly.

"It depends..."

"Lexie.." he pressed.

"Ok. Fine. Go"

"Remember when you told me not to show your amazing designs to The Avengers directors?" he carefuly asked.

"Robert...you did not." she rose from the bed and started pacing.

"Shhh, listen. Remember?" he replied "So I've just talked to the Russos, took my script and whatever, when they tell me they're still looking for the set designer, so I thought, why not you? And so it happenes I had your portfolio in my car, so I just gave that to them and they were really impressed"

"Really?" Alex asked biting her lip. She already had a contract with Marvel, because she designed the sets of 'X-men' movies and even 'Logan', but she never expected to work with the Russo brothers. The Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, those where the epic movies which required lots of research and hard work.

"Really. And they want you to design Infinity war" Robert replied with a smile.

"Are you shitting me right now?" she asked, her arm on the right hip.

"I shit you not. They want a meeting with you later today. If they like what you have to say, you're officialy a part of the crew" Robert announced proudly.

"I don't know, Bob. I have a shitload of work right now..." Alex chewed on the inside of her cheek.

"Lexie,this is big. I know you want this. You're perfect for this job!" he didn't give up.

"Okay"

"Okay?" Robert asked giddily.

"I'm in" she smiled hearing him beam behind the phone.

"Yes! I'm so happy for you right now!" he exclaimed making Alex laugh.

"Contain yourself, old man" she joked "When's the meeting?"

"I'm 35" he stated "At 2PM. I'll text you the adress"

"More like 55" she teased again.

"Whatever, Reed. I'll see you later" he then hung up.

"Bye, old man" she said quickly before he did so.

She couldn't believe it. She was given a major opportunity, she was still shocked. Only because of Buddy, who decided to shake the water from his golden fur, after the bath they took when they got back from the beach, her mind came back to reality. "Seriously, Bud? Are you going to be mad at me the whole day?" she playfuly asked the dog who barked back and then licked her palm. "I thought so" she smiled and went to get dressed for the appointment with the vet and then the Russos.

"Robert showed us your work. It's impressive." Anthony said with a smile while he flipped through the pages of Alex's designs.

"Thank you" she replied continuing to explain the detailing in decor she did on 'Logan'.

"Okay, so if we were to hire you oficially, how would you change the Avengers tower?" Joe asked making Alex smile.

"First, I think it lacks elegance. It's New York City, after all. I get that it's futuristic, because of Stark industries, but it should also be modern in a way that captures not only the future of technology but also New York's spirit. " she answered politely "I'm more qualified in interior design, but if you'd let me, I'd like to draw a few sketches in exterior design, so I could show you what I mean"

Joe and Anthony looked at each other and smiled "That's exactly what we wanted to hear" Joe said.

"And before I sign anything, I'd like to say, that I have my own methods of working. I'll need to interview each of the actors to capture their sense of their character in order to do my best" Alex demanded with a smile. She always worked like this.

"You have a deal" Anthony nodded "Our lawyers will send you the contract later today"

"Good. I'm happy to be a part of your team" she smiled.

"We're happy to have you" Anthony smiled giving her a brief hug "We're like family here, so please, come and meet the crew and later we'll be having a meeting with the cast, though I think Robert is already here"

With that the three of them exited the room and Alex was introduced to every single crew member. She had the time to interview a few of them, she was especially interested in costume designers who gave her a lot of details in what captures the essence of Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Thor, Hawkeye and etc. She was happy with what she already had and was looking forward to meeting everyone in person.

"Sooo, what's my favorite human being besides my wife and kids doing?" Robert came from behind startling Alex, who was sitting in a large conference room, typing away on her laptop.

"Jeez, you scared me" she slaped his shoulder gently when he sat next to her "I'm finishing up my notes for each character"

"Will you be making changes to Stark's tower?" he asked curious.

"Yup. I'll make it pink. The Russos are totally fine with it" Alex nodded in all seriousness.

"Don't you dare" he warned "Am I going to regret revealing your talent to them?"

Alex shrugged "It depends"

"On?"

"If you're going to be a pain in my ass" she teased crossing her arms on her chest.

"Never" he grinned like the Devil he was.

"Seriously, though, thank you for this, Bob"

"It's no problem, kid. You know I love you like my own, right?" Robert looked at Alex sweetly and took her hand.

"I know" she nodded, tears welling up in her eye sockets "You think he's watching us from above?"

Robert nodded "He is. And he's freakin' proud of you. I know I am" he smiled making them stand up and hugged her.

Robert and Charlie, Alex's father, were best friends. Unfortunatelly a year ago, he died from cancer. Alex was an only child and very close to her father. And when he died, Robert was the one who picked up the pieces and helped her through everything. He became Alex's father figure and a close friend. Her mother was a drunk who only contacted Alex when she needed money. She only had Downeys and her grandparents who lived in Atlanta.

"Okay, enough of crying. I can't stand to see you sad" Robert broke the silence making Alex breathe in and clean up.

"You're right" she agreed "The meeting should start any minute anyway" And with those words, her phone rang so she excused herself to pick it up. She could see the cast was starting to go in one by one, or two at the time. While Alex chatted with her assistant about a current house she was working on, she couldn't believe what she saw. Freaking Chris Evans in all his glory. And she knew. He was the man her dog almost knocked down on the ground. This was going to be embarrassing. She finished giving Julie-her assistant- direction on what to do and which sketches to send to the owners and hung up.

"Alex, come, meet everyone" Anthony Russo grabbed her elbow and together with his brother lead her to the conference room where at least 10 curious eyes stared at her. But her eyes, however, were only on one man, who looked back at her with a polite smile. He already forgot. What an ass..."Guys, meet the newest addition to our crew, our awesome set designer Alexandra Reed"

"Thanks, Joe" she quickly recovered and smiled profesionally "First of all, call me Alex and I'm looking forward to working with you guys."

"We were lucky enough that Mr. Downey introduced Alex's work to us, so please be cooperative" Joe added.

"Please, don't patronize him" Alex joked "He will be more unbearable after"

"Hey!" Robert pretended to be offended making everyone chuckle.

"So you two know each other?" Scarlett asked curiously.

"We're practically family" Robert smiled at Alex and she smiled back nodding.

"Not by blood, but you could sort of call us family" she agreed "And while I have your attention, I'd like to interview everyone of you to get a sense of your character. So if you could just write down my office number and make an appointment during next week, I'd appreciate it" she smiled looking at Chris again, who now smiled at her with a knowing smile. So he remembered after all.

"See anything you like?" Sebastian whispered to Chris who looked at Alex intently while she showed everyone rough sketches she did on the Avengers tower.

"What?" he blinked "Oh. No. I mean. Yes, the sketches are great"

"Man, you're being too obvious" Seb teased.

"You really are" Scarlett added with a grin.

"Oh stop it you two" Chris rolled his eyes "Besides, I've already met her before"

"What? When?" Seb was surprised.

"Remember the dog story I've told you about before? That's her" Chris replied.

"Wow. You weren't kidding. She's gorgeous." he nodded in agreement.

"Are you going to do anything about it?" Scarlett rose an eyebrow.

"Yeah man, you should ask her for coffee or something" Seb nodded.

"We'll see" he simply answered still staring at Alex.

"M-h-m" Scarlett grinned shaking her head.

"Okay, guys. The meeting is done. I expect all of you on Monday for your costume fitting and the start of the filming" Joe said "Have a great the rest of the weekend"

Alex finished chatting with Anthony and typed a few notes to her laptop. She then bid her goodbyes to everyone. The cast was realy friendly and welcomed her with open arms. This project was going to be epic. She could feel it.

"Hey, kiddo, you were fantastic!" Robert exclaimed "By the way, I'm having a little shindig at my place tonight. Some of the cast will be there. You're coming, right?"

"Thanks, Bob. I hope you like the "A" on your tower. It really will be pink" she teased closing her laptop and putting it in the bag "I don't know. I was hoping for some rest. Too much wine yesterday.

"I'll choose to ignore the first part" he smiled "C'mon. You'll rest when you die. Susan and the kids missed you"

"Fine. Fine. But only for Susan" she teased an gave Robert a hug "See you tonight."

"Bye, love you, kid" Robert kissed her forehead and left the building.

Alex was about to follow, but she fogot her phone, so she stopped mid-hallway and turned around and bumped into someone 's hard as a rock chest.

"Shit, are you okay? I'm so sorry" Chris looked concerned when Alex yelped a muffled "auch" and took her nose between her index and middle fingers.

"We have got to stop meeting like this" she joked suddenly very aware that Chris' palms were on her upper arms.

"Agreed" he nodded with the crooked smile that drove every girl wild "Here, you forgot your phone"

"Thanks" she took the phone and stashed it in her purse. Well, this isn't awkward at all.

"So will I'll be seeing you tonight?" he asked. Small talk. Wow. They were nailing it.

"Yup. Bob would've dragged me out if I didn't say yes" she chuckled.

"He could be persistant" Chris agreed "Okay then. I'll be seeing you later then" he awkwardly put his hands into his jeans pockets.

"I guess so, yeah" she replied biting her bottom lip "And sorry again for my dog"

"It's no problem" he smiled again "And I'm sorry for... that"

"Yeah, it's fine" she laughed nervously "Okay then, Bye"

"Bye" he replied as they started to walk in the same direction. "Garage?"

"Yep" she simply replied fixing her hair.

"Mind if I walk with you?" Chris seemed to feel as uncomfortable as she was.

"I don't think there's harm in that" she smiled walking foot to foot with him.

"You can never know" he joked.

"Very comforting" Alex joked back.

"Is it me, or is this really feels awkward for no reason?" he finally had the guts to ask.

"Thank god, I thought I was the only one" she let out a short laugh.

"Let's just start over, forgeting your dog and..." Chris was out of words.

"Chest" she filled in the blank absentmindedly

"Exactly" he nodded chuckling "I'm Chris. It's nice to meet you, Alex"

She looked at him biting her bottom lip "Nice to meet you too, Chris"

"That wasn't so hard" he decided.

"Definitely not" she smiled and stopped "That's my car. I better go, it's time for Buddy's meal and he's not very happy with me today"

Chris laughed from his heart making Alex grin widely. That sound was something else "Goodluck. I'll see you later. I hope"

"See ya" she smiled and sat into her car. She let go of the breath she was holding. Jeesus. That was fucking intense. Alex had to slowly breathe in and out to calm herself down. This was weird. She felt weird. And unreal. She needed a drink or two. Or a reality check. Chris Evans was her co-worker. She was going to a party where he and everyone else were going to be there. To say that this day was surreal would be an understatement.

#Chris Evans #Chris Evans Fanfiction #Always Yours #AO3 #Marvel #Captain America #The Avengers #Fanfic #Chrisfic #Chris Evans Fandom

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bachelorbro-blog1 · 8 years ago

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Season 21 -- Week 4

Is it just me or did this week’s episode feel like the longest episode in the history of this franchise? I don’t know, maybe I’m just already over this season.

We open with Corinne sleeping. At this point I’m pretty sure she has narcolepsy.

The other ladies are shit talking her, which is nothing new. Moving forward...it’s almost time for the rose ceremony. Nick approaches the girls and lets them know that he’s so glad they’ve allowed themselves to open up around him (except for the ones whose names he doesn't know -- I’m looking at you, Whitney).

Taylor and Sarah ambush Corinne while she’s sleeping and tell her that she needs to calm down with the bouncy castles and bouncy chest. “I am not privileged in any way, shape, or form,” says Corinne, a 24-year-old woman who has a live-in nanny.

Time for the rose ceremony! Everyone (including Chris Harrison) is discussing Corinne and how she needs to go home immediately. “Girls are haters,” says Corinne.Then she makes a fart sound with her mouth.

Christen explains that she feels that she’s further along emotionally with Nick than some of the other girls. She is promptly eliminated. (As is Brittany, a girl who I only remember as the one who was really amped about sports). Alexis, a perfect person, gets a rose. Alexis, if you’re reading this, I would very much like for us to be friends.

When Corinne gets a rose, Josephine’s jaw drops. Taylor shit talks her in a talking head interview. “I thought Nick was looking for a mature, adult partner,” says Taylor, who is 23 years old.

Christen cries near a fountain. Brittany explains that she used to make fun of girls for crying on the show and then bursts into tears while waving her hands near her face so as not to let the tears fall.

Corinne licks a rose, grabs her chest, and almost falls out of her chair. She is absolutely the girl that you would find at a frat party asking people if they had seen her friend (who was not in attendance at said party in the first place).

Taylor is slowly, but surely, becoming this season’s second villain, much like Alex became the Lefou to Chad’s Gaston last season.

“Pack your bags,” says Chris Harrison. The girls cheer. “You’re going to Wisconsin,” he adds. There is less cheering.

The ladies arrive at a mansion in Wisconsin, a sentence I never thought I’d write. Nick’s mom and dad give a talking head interview. His mom looks like Kate Gosselin at a rock concert. I am not entirely convinced Nick’s dad isn't just Nick wearing special effects makeup. “We don't want to see you on the show again,” says Nick’s dad. “I agree,” says everyone in America.

Welcome to Waukesha, the place where the Slender Man stabbing took place three years ago. Danielle L. gets a solo date and Nick leaves the rest of the women in a park. They have nothing else to do so I assume they’re going to plot against Corinne back at their Wisconsin mansion.

Nick and Danielle L. decorate the scariest cookies I have ever seen in my entire life. Danielle’s fake laugh is awkward so Nick kisses her to make her stop. That somehow makes everything even more awkward than it already was. Cool.

Oh my gosh! It’s Nick’s ex in a coffee shop. She just happened to be there, already mic’d. How weird! “This is so trippy,” says Nick. “Oh, so this bitch gets to be on the show?” screams Liz, from her couch.

Nick continues to tell Danielle L. about every girl he’s ever had sex with, which is a perfectly normal thing to do on your first date with someone. They finally end up at dinner at the fanciest restaurant in Wisconsin. Nick is wearing a jacket that matches the exact couch they’re sitting on. He asks Danielle L. to talk about her flaws, which is also a perfectly normal thing to do on a first date. Danielle L.’s parents are divorced and she thinks that makes it harder for her to open up to people.

The next group date is announced. “Say cheese,” says Danielle M. Please, please tell me they’re going to be making cheese pasta. Please. Raven gets the one-on-one date. She is excited that Corinne won’t be getting any private time with Nick this week.

Danielle L. gets a rose, unsurprisingly. Nick announces that he has a surprise for her, and they end up at a Chris Lane concert. I don’t know who Chris Lane is. I am 100% sure that Danielle L. also doesn't know who he is, but she plays along while visions of engagement rings and messy tabloid breakups dance in her head.

Every contestant who isn't Danielle L. or Raven winds up on a group date at a farm. There are baby cows everywhere. I am crying. Most of the ladies are ready to get down and dirty even if they don't particularly love shoveling poop or milking cows. Of course, Corinne is not interested in taking part unless Raquel can do her chores for her.

Everyone is shoveling poop. Corinne says poop about 50 times and then declares that this is probably the worst date she's ever been on. I really, really don’t believe that. She sits outside and cries while the rest of the women make poop-related jokes at her expense.

Corinne says “poopie” more than a few times. She has effectively made sure that everyone is aware of the fact that she has the mental and emotional maturity of a 6 year old.

Kristina mentions that she’s had a rough life, but doesn't delve into any of that just yet. She kisses Nick for the first (?) time. Astrid is tired of talking about Corinne, but America isn't. Corinne makes a corn metaphor or something. I don’t actually know what’s going on.

Vanessa gives Nick a book made by her coworkers and students. She is 100% the winner. The end. We can stop the season right here and just go into the next season of The Bachelorette, starring Rachel, who is important and does not need to be wasting her time with Nick.

“If I did anything, come to me,” says Corinne. Every girl immediately comes to her and then she throws a tantrum. She rattles off a list of people who have taken naps in their lives, including Michael Jordan and Abraham Lincoln. I’m not sure what kind of comparison she’s trying to make. I am officially done with her.

Kristina, in the surprise throw down of the season, calls Corinne out. “I’m not stupid. I choose to handle things head on and you hide away,” she says. I would very much like more screen time for Kristina.

“We’re fighting for a fiancé, not a...pickle,” says Corinne. Something tells me she was sick the day her fourth grade teacher taught the class about metaphors and similes.

This horrible date is finally over, and it’s time for Raven’s one-on-one. She meets Nick’s little sister, Mia Hamm, as well as his parents. “What kind of name is Raven?” asks Nick’s father, as if he has never seen That’s So Raven.

Josephine is effectively becoming the Daniel to Corinne’s Chad. I’m not sure why. Taylor H A T E S Corinne. She is going to drown her in the bath tub that she’s pretending is a hot tub.

Nick and Raven end up at a roller-skating rink, which actually looks like a lot of fun. Raven and Bella are having a private conversation while Nick skates around in the background, hoping to impress his second, third, and fourth wives. “I really want another sister-in-law,” says Bella.

Anyway, Nick and Raven go to the Milwaukee Art Museum and have a very private dinner in a very large, very white room. Raven reveals that she is the inspiration behind Carrie Underwood’s classic “Before He Cheats.” She walked in on her boyfriend and some other girl having sex and then bashed his head in with the girl’s stiletto. I am officially obsessed with Raven. If there is any footage of this historic event, please send it my way. Nick gets a weird boner while Raven weaves her epic tale. She gets a rose.

Taylor expresses her desire to kick Corinne in the face. Corinne has similar feelings about Taylor. They are going to fight to the death, but not this week, as there are only about 15 minutes left.

Danielle L., who has a rose, pulls Nick aside anyway, which is a power move. Taylor does not appreciate any other women making power moves. She yanks Nick away from her and proceeds to lick his mouth.

Corinne and Josephine eat pigs in a blanket, drink wine, and talk shit (i.e. exactly my kind of party).

Corinne and Taylor finally get to throw down (they sit near a fire under a blanket). For the first time this season I am on Team Corinne, not because I like her, but because Taylor feels that she has the right to speak down to everyone in the house. Remember when she said she had no friends as a kid? I think we’ve found the reason for that. Next week they’re going to have a two-on-one date. Taylor will go home. Bye.

After the previews, perfect Alexis lets us know that she is afraid of Nicolas Cage and that she thinks Raven might be an alien. Please keep her, ABC. She makes me so very happy.

My top 5:

1. Vanessa

2. Danielle M.

3. Raven

4. Rachel

5. Alexis

#the bachelor #bachelor recap #recap #nick viall #chris harrison

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londontheatre · 7 years ago

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Lazarus Theatre’s Edward II

Edward II is a wonderful example of the exquisite sixteenth-century theatre craft of its writer, Christopher Marlowe. It explores, in depth, power, kingship, class, lineage and, yes, the close, divisive relationship of Edward and his lover Piers Gaveston. To describe it, as the press release does, as “the first gay play” is historically inaccurate (if it means the first play to deal with love between two people of the same sex) and, I believe, entirely misses the point by putting a twenty-first century construct on a masterpiece written during the reign of Elizabeth I: it’s a bit like saying the horse was the original driverless vehicle.

That is a shame because here we have an explosive and riveting production, directed by Ricky Dukes, that does full justice to the poetry and power of Marlowe’s original – despite some quirky aspects to Dukes’s adaptation. It gets going with a mesmeric opening salvo by Bradley Frith as Gaveston, which not only sets the scene for us but establishes the tone of the production and puts down markers for the mayhem that is to come. Frith is brilliant throughout, tough but flippant and dismissive of the barons whilst appropriately fawning with the king, his pliant and doting meal-ticket, whilst maintaining an underlying sense that this whole escapade is just one long opportunistic blag (yeah, that’s a 21st century construct – I learn fast). Frith returns at the denouement as Lightborn and has the transfixing gaze of a cobra as he goes about his deadly business.

Counterpoint to Frith’s strong and unsettling performance comes from Luke Ward-Wilkinson as Edward. Lurching from frail and fidgety to feisty and frighteningly unhinged, Ward-Wilkinson perfectly portrays how feeble Edward is and how unsuited to the office of a king. Besotted, consumed by lust and gooey-eyed love-angst, living off the adoration of shallow, make-weight acolytes, frankly he’s a bit of a nut-job and Ward-Wilkinson gives us the full gamut of child-like tantrum and unconfined self-interest until, coffined in the dungeon-sewer of his castle prison, he is pushed over the edge into full madness. Ward-Wilkinson’s eyes flare wide, his arms flail uncontrollably and his whole body becomes a repository for self-inflicted grief and despair. A consummate performance by Ward-Wilkinson that keeps us on the edge of our seats. As with Frith, these guys get Marlowe’s language to a T, revel in the poetry and play out the undercurrents with knowing glances and subtly expressive gestures.

Strong, stentorian, scheming Mortimer is played with exponential relish by Jamie O’Neil. He’s not very nice: the archetypal playground bully who gets everyone on his side, by fair means or foul, so as to persecute the flimsy Edward and make him suffer. It’s more than just a power-grab with Mortimer: there’s a real distaste for lifestyle and values and O’Neil brings this off with powerful and disturbing accuracy. With an eye for the main chance he teams up with Edward’s spurned queen, Isabella, played with muscular intensity by Lakesha Cammock, who reveals an iron fist inside the lady’s frills. Cammock flutters her eyelids or puts the boot in hard as occasion demands and adds in some unexpected humour keeping the audience engaged and gripped throughout her authoritative performance.

Lazarus Theatre’s Edward II

Alex Zur as Edward’s brother, Andrew Gallo as Mortimer Senior, John Slade as Warrick, Stephen Emery as Lancaster and David Clayton as Canterbury all play their part in a strident ensemble that creates an atmosphere of intimidating ferocity, never more so than in the final dramatic execution of the beleaguered Edward. Though here I do take issue with the adaptation.

The play is re-imagined in a quasily-vague twentieth century England. No problem with that – Marlowe – and Shakespeare – lend themselves well to “modern dress” scenarios. The show’s featured prop is a sixties-style red BT telephone use at the beginning to reveal the death of Edward I and at the end for the future Edward III to castigate Mortimer. Here we get into “how technology would have altered history/literature territory”. If they had ’phones then Gaveston’s banishment would have been less drastic – they would have been on the ’phone to each other every day. It makes the first stage direction – enter Gaveston reading a letter – completely redundant. (A similar problem occurred in a recent modern-dress production of Richard II).

Christiano Casimiro’s costume design is excellent: grey shirts, formal grey trousers, some ties for the assembled barons, a gold suit for Edward with an assortment of catch-me cloaks: but I spent much of the play wondering why no-one wore shoes or socks with these smart clothes. The answer came at the death scene where everyone had to strip to their underpants. So – ease of undressing seemed to be the answer: rather a case of the tail wagging the dog, I feel.

But it’s the death scene itself where I really part company with Duke’s “re-imagining”. Spectacularly gory and extremely effectively done, it once again misses the point and veers violently away from Marlowe’s original. Lightborn, the murderer, is a wonderful Marlow creation. Almost a bit-part player – we don’t see him until the end – he is the original hit-man. Master of his craft, he revels in the pain of others and the ability to get the job done in the most effective and imaginative way possible. In the original, Lightborn tells his accomplices to prepare a hot-spit and have a table and a feather-down mattress available. The table is to be placed on the victims chest with the mattress between table and skin so no bruising occurs and one of the accomplices stands on the chest to expel the air and hold the victim’s legs.

Edward thus lies on his back – not on his front as here. Lightborn then applies the red hot spit. The whole point of this is so that Edward, the king, can be despatched without visible wounds – which are inside him – and without anyone knowing how he died. “Was it not bravely done?” asks Lightborn afterwards. Here with copious torrents of blood gushing down from the ceiling, plastic sheeting employed by the murderers in their underpants and Edward left in a blood-stained heap on the table after a bulkily decorative candlestick is used, there’s no doubt how he died.

Also eschewed is Mortimer’s connivingly cynical despatch-letter – unpunctuated so that it can be read two ways. All this, I believe diminishes the power of Marlowe’s play the full title of which is The troublesome raigne and lamentable death of ‘Edward the second, king of England: with the tragicall fall of proud Mortimer‘.

Yes, Edward II is a tragedy: and it’s as much the tragedy of Mortimer as it is of Edward. Here, the final scene where Mortimer is sent to his death by the new young king Edward (over the ’phone), everyone is still standing around in their kecks: that’s not tragic – that’s just bizarre.

Despite these reservations this is a superlative show, powerfully performed by all. Marlowe, like Shakespeare, is obviously ripe for “re-imagining” (Samuel Beckett, for example, isn’t, and won’t ever be allowed to be). But for me, changing the text so that it fits into a twenty-first century idealogical construct is going a little bit too far: let the play speak for itself.

Review by Peter Yates

The King is dead. His son, Edward II, is crowned King. His first act: to call home from banishment his lover, Gaveston.

“Why would you love him who the world hates so? Because he loves me more than all the world.”

Marlowe’s homoerotic epic comes to the stage in this all-new, all-male ensemble production. Marking 50 years since the decriminalisation of homosexuality in England and Wales, this production investigates, celebrates and explores identity and sexuality.

Edward II sees our return to The Tristan Bates Theatre and The Camden Fringe after our smash hit productions of ‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore, Coriolanus and Tamburlaine.

CAST Edward II Luke Ward-Wilkinson Queen Isabella Lakesha Cammock Gaveston Bradley Frith Kent Alex Zur Mortimer Jamie O’Neill Mortimer Senior Andrew Gallo Warwick John Slade Lancaster Stephen Emery Pembroke David Clayton

All other roles played by the company

CREATIVE TEAM Writer Christopher Marlowe Director Ricky Dukes Designer Sorcha Corcoran Costume Designer Cristiano Casimiro Lighting Designer Ben Jacobs Sound Designer Jack Barton Dramaturge Sara Reimers Stage Manager Charlotte R L Cooper Assistant Director Dinos Psychogios Company Photographer Adam Trigg Production Graphic Designer Will Beeston Associate Producer Gavin Harrington-Odedra

EDWARD II Lazarus Theatre presents Christopher Marlowe’s classic. Adapted & Directed by Ricky Dukes Tue 22 August – Sat 9 September

Tristan Bates Theatre 1A Tower St, Covent Garden WC2H 9NP http://ift.tt/23UW86S

http://ift.tt/2wY3cFo LondonTheatre1.com

#IFTTT #LondonTheatre1.com

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cryopisces · 8 years ago

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From Gandalf to Gollum: the terrestrial field season at Steffen Glacier - part 1

After two weeks of decompression time (normal life adjustment!) after returning from Patagonia, I thought it time to update the PISCES blog. I first apologise for the title. Not only do I lack creativity, but I’ve included an insider camp joke (LOTR reference part reflecting our mental and physical state of mind). I’ll try to include many photos as possible, rather than boring text.

The plan was to update this blog on a more regular basis, but it turns out a field season in Steffen is a much more isolated and exhausting affair than I first thought. We struggled with rain (much, much rain..), wind, isolation and power (mainly due to the clouds that came with the former rain!). Working days were long and hard, and this made writing a blog post difficult (we tried to start one many times…).

I’m starting first with an update on the terrestrial fieldwork – Work Package 1 to those who are interested in official talk. First, I’d like to acknowledge the heroic efforts of all those involved. In the photo below you can see the main bulk of this terrestrial team (excluding Rory – sorry Rory! Photo to come later). From left to right Jon Hawkings (“Juanito”), Alex Beaton (“bad boy Beats”), Matthew Marshall (“Mike Mike”), Helena Pryer (“Hotel Papa”), Anne Kellerman (“Kellers”/ “Alpha Kilo”), Jemma Wadham (“el jefe”), Laura Robinson (“Laura”), and Ale Urra-Gallardo (“Alpha Unicorn”). This hardy bunch managed to survive inclement weather, too much tinned mackerel and tent living from 3 days (Jemma and Laura) up to 48 days (Matthew and Ale). Also featured in this image is another vital member of our crew, the basecamp tipi, where we spent most of our time while in camp. It was the cooking and socialising hub, and (mostly) did us proud when Patagonia threw its worst tantrums.

Not all of us arrived at Camp Steffen together. Initially the teams were split into two. Team 1, “glaciers team”, comprising Alex, Matthew, Jon and Ale, left the UK on the 3rd January, with over 350 kg of excess baggage (some of which can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CryoPISCES/status/814885757429104640). Team 2, “rivers team”, comprising Jemma, Laura and Helena, left a day later, with similar levels of baggage. Team 2 were to be joined by Anne, flying from the USA, a few days after. Team 1 were tasked with the camp insertion and set up, while Team 2 embarked on an intensive river sampling transect down one of the world’s most amazing roads, the Carretera Austral. As I was only involved in Team 1 fieldwork, I’ll try to cover our perspective. Team 2’s exploits will be revealed in a later, likely better written, blog (stay tuned!).

I won’t bore you with details of the epic journey from the UK to Patagonia. If you’re interested you can read one of our previous blogs here - http://cryopisces.tumblr.com/post/149864498059/to-the-npi-and-back-in-10-days-with-only-a-couple. I’ll only mention our stop in Coyhaique to buy supplies (food, additional equipment), and collect/prepare chemicals for fieldwork from our fantastic collaborators at the Centro de Investigación en Ecosistemas de la Patagonia, who gave us some essential logistical support (CIEP - http://www.ciep.cl/). We had 36 hours to buy enough food for at least a month of fieldwork (which turns out is rather a lot of food), and all our additional camping and science supplies. We managed to fill a large minibus with everything (not including us!), which met us after a 9 hour drive down the Carretera Austral to the small, fjord-side settlement of Tortel.

Camp set up is always quite stressful. It involves moving a large amount of equipment and food from A (where A is Bristol in the United Kingdom in this case), to B (which is the middle of wild Patagonia, hours from the nearest human settlement). This was not made any easier for us by the Patagonian weather. Tortel, the nearest settlement to our field camp, receives around 2 metres of rainfall in an average year (by comparison London receives <100 cm). The summer of 2017 was much wetter than the average. The poor weather conditions when we arrived in Tortel meant the port was closed and we were stuck for an additional night. This was actually an unforeseen benefit, as we could sort through and organise our equipment and food. We had over 500 kg of “stuff”, and a large problem was that we couldn’t fit it all on one boat, so prioritising was essential. We had to leave quite a bit of food and some non-essential equipment in Tortel for Team 2 to bring with them when they entered camp, around 10 days later. Despite this setback and additional work sorting through our supplies, we were still in good spirits.

We left Tortel for Steffen Glacier on the 9th January in a small tourist boat packed to the gills with our equipment. There was an hour window in which the port was open, and we managed to sail just in time. When we have finished our (fairly rough) 2-hour journey to Steffen valley the weather had turned again. Rain was now lashing down, and we organised our equipment in order of priority for the local settler Don Rene (supplies essential to survival first). Don Rene was key in this whole plan, as he owned and guided the horses (amazingly hardy Patagonian horses which could seemingly carry anything) that would carry all our supplies to where we were camping, near the proglacial lake of Steffen Glacier. The four of us left with personal bags on the 2-hour hike, hoping (and praying) that we would find Don Rene in camp with our tents, cooking equipment and (essentially) food. After a rather unpleasant wait (in the rain), where some emergency food was consumed, Don Rene finally arrived out of the mist with three fully laden horses. A sight for sore, wet eyes. We finally felt at home when the trusty camp Tipi was erected and we had personal tents ready for sleeping. After a meal consisting of tinned goods, we were ready for some rest. Camp Steffen would be our home for the next 48 days.

Posted by Jon

#patagonia #chile #research #glaciers #fieldwork

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