apollosnovice

[apollosnovice]

it was the first morning of spring | ronan lynch x reader

wordcount: 1.1k warnings: tiny mentions of ronan's drinking habits and getting hurt (accidentally cutting knee on glass) a/n: i don't really like the use of y/n so i gave reader a neutral name (Eden). i also chose they/them pronouns because i felt like they were the most neutral pronouns to use. i hope this makes it easier to change the pronouns to your preferred ones! this work is crossposted on ao3 under 'deardynamight'

It was the first morning of Spring and the world hadn’t hurt them yet.

Two of Ronan’s front teeth were missing but he smiled like all his adult teeth had grown in already. He was a wiry kid — tall and clumsy. Eden often wondered how much taller he would grow and if they would get to see it. 

Dandelion seeds twirled on a gentle breeze. Eden’s hair joined the dance when Ronan blew another wish into the world. 

“Are you supposed to make two?” Eden asked, turning their head to look at the side of Ronan’s face, watching as he pursed his lips again to blow away the ones he hadn’t caught the first time. 

“Are there rules to follow?” he replied, unbothered.

Eden thought for a moment to the three wishes of Aladdin, a movie they had watched not too long ago. Huddled under blankets they had piled themselves in front of the TV, hot chocolate at their feet. Eden was on their second mug because they had spilt the first in a bout of their usual clumsiness. The living room floor was still sticky. 

“Maybe not,” they mumbled back, laying their head in the space between Ronan’s shoulder and his face. That little space was made for them, and them alone. 

Would the universe punish two kids for being dreamers? For yearning for more than the life they have been given? The world hadn’t hurt them yet but unbeknownst to them — it would. 

Eden took their chances and held the dandelion Ronan had given them between their forefinger and their thumb. Their first (and what they thought was their only wish) had gone out to that new bike they wanted. It had felt like a waste, a missed chance of wishing for something meaningful. They would take their second chance now.

Ronan moved away a little and Eden mourned the loss of his warmth. Goosebumps rippled over their skin but they didn’t reach for him. They enjoyed the gentle caress of the sun and the teasing tickles from the wind. 

He was looking at them — ice blue eyes so full of youth and joy still. They weren’t the cold glaciers of the North Pole yet, they didn’t scare people into submission yet. They were beautiful, as they always would be, and they were gentle when they encouraged them to blow their wish into existence. 

I wish for this moment to never end.

But it did.

The good moments ended again and again and again until Eden didn’t dare to rely on wishes anymore. No matter how many dandelions they borrowed to try, Ronan built a wall so high they couldn’t reach him anymore. 

When his dad passed and his mom slipped into a never-ending slumber, his eyes hardened, even when they looked at them. The Ronan they knew was gone and they had to learn the new Ronan all over again.

And they did.

Eden loved him through every fight, every police call, every bottle of beer that smashed hopelessly on his bedroom floor. They loved him through the scars on his hands and the blood running from his nose, and K's hands on his body.

They dared to wish again in their most hopeless moment where they were doomed to lose everything to Gansey and Glendower and his incessant need for gratification. 

Their wishes were more mature now.

I wish for Gansey to find Glendower.

I wish for Noah to stay with us.

I wish for the knowledge to save my friends.

I wish for everything to end.

Ronan followed Gansey, like he always did — a guard dog, loyal to a fault — until Eden broke. 

Tears wouldn’t stop flowing as they fell apart on Ronan’s bedroom floor, cutting their knee on broken glass. Chainsaw wouldn’t stop kawing, her usual sounds now so distressed it threatened to unravel them. Ronan had frozen at first, unsure what to do. Little by little the wall he had built seemed to break away until Eden saw a glimpse of the boy he had been.

Glacier eyes now wide and boyish again, helpless, scared.

Ronan was next to them in an instant, cursing as he held them up then lifted them into his arms. 

It was the first day of Spring and Ronan smelled like the sun. 

Eden buried their face in the warm leather and expensive cologne. they inhaled the boy they once knew and exhaled the boy he had become. He wasn’t Gansey’s after all, he wasn’t Blue’s, he wasn’t even Adam’s, not to the extent that he was theirs. 

“I’m sorry,” Eden hiccuped and Ronan quickly shushed them. The hand in their hair was bigger now, calloused, but it was still Ronan’s, still as gentle as the boy he had been before the world had broken him.

Where Eden stayed soft, Ronan had hardened. Where Eden had stayed kind, Ronan had become cruel. Not to his friends, never to the ones he loved. But Eden had resented him all the same. For taking away their best friend and replacing him with someone they didn’t recognise. For making them lose the boy who had felt like their soulmate a lifetime ago.

It was when Ronan’s hands cleaned their wound so tenderly that they realised who he was again.

It was when his eyes filled with fire when Eden finally confessed that Gansey hadn’t been nice to them, that they were falling apart, that they needed him on their side and not his that they realised their soulmate had never left. 

They had been soulmates then, when they were young and innocent and the same. Platonic soulmates who held hands and danced in the sprinkles placed around the Barns and slept in the sun holding each other. 

They were soulmates now that they were older and Eden’s softness didn’t just parallel but filled the gaps of Ronan’s hardness. They were soulmates in every sense of the world who found each other again when the world was ready for them to meet again. 

It was the first day of Spring and the world had hurt them terribly — but they had healed each other again.

Eden was lying in the sun under the big oak tree that looked out over the pasture where Ronan was feeding the cows. 

Soon he would come over to them and kiss their lips and Eden would look up at him and ask for lemonade and sandwiches. And they would hold hands and dance in the sinking sun. Eden got to watch Ronan grow taller and grow up and mature into the man they always knew he would be when he was a little kid.

The dandelions surrounding them remained whole until the wind picked up in the evening again.

They had nothing more to wish for.

It was the first day of Spring and the world didn’t hurt anymore.