#that i would be mourning the loss for so long
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HAPPY NATURIST MIDWINTER
I write on the Eve of the year's longest night. This is the turning point of the natural year, one when nature seems to all but stand still. In the Wild Wood near our home, all seems quiet bare and still. It is as though the earth holds its breath while gathering strength. Still there are signs of strong and vibrant life. The holly trees are green, glossy and magnificent right now; the females laden with scarlet berries. Ivy glows in its shiny glory, its flowers giving way to the slowly ripening berries. By January they will turn glossy black. The Yew trees stand guard, wearing a darker green. There are blue tits twittering in the thickets as they hunt for food. High winds are forecast this weekend and the strong breeze will naturally trim the branches above us.
Now is a time when the ancient Celts mourned the loss of sunlight and looked forward to nature's rebirth. At this time of year, people have always headed into the abundant woodland to forage. Clothing was certainly optional. So it is for us too. I might wear a coat if it is near freezing but little else. People gather those fallen branches to fuel their winter hearths and keep warm. They gather green branches too to cheer their homes. All is at should be and we wander naked among the trees, enjoying the little light there is right now.
I am a person of faith, though not a Christian. I am a mother and appreciate that for some, this is a time to welcome a baby's birth. I brought my own first born into this beautiful world in cold January, not long after this time. New birth always brings joy to everyone, and for a new young Mum as I was, contentment. Your baby rests on your belly in full view where before she nestled inside you. Her little mouth searches for your breast and she imbibes life. All this is done naturally. You are naked, she is too. You will wrap her to keep her warm later but for now you are both as the creator intended you to be: No shame, no worry about clothing, just you and her.
For me and my faith, this is a time to recollect when our liberty was threatened, when the right to be who we are was denied. On the night of the 25th, we light one candle and celebrate our freedom; freedom to be who we are. Each night will see a new candle as others join in that celebration. We eat the produce of the earth; frying potato pancakes, and drink the fruit of the vine. As a naturist I am all too aware of threats to liberty and the right to express who I am. Like the turning of the year when we reject the idea of death and affirm life, I reject those who project shame onto me for being naked. For a woman, it can be tough. Men can tend to see your naked body as their property. They see your nakedness as flaunting something which is theirs by right. There is a tendency to sexualise you and see you as a loose woman. I am my own and my body belongs to me. I belong to my husband as much as he belongs to me. The union of naked female and male is a perfect balance of forces. We lean back and our partner supports us. In a great relationship, that balance is effortless and strong. My body then is without shame, perfect and wonderful. There is no need to cover anything. Certainly not my breasts or my vulva. Why would I want to cover or be ashamed of something that brought my precious and beautiful daughter into the world and why would I want to cover the means by which I fed her?
With my husband, we decorate the house for Christmas in a Dickensian fashion. Our house was brand new when it welcomed Christmas in the 1862. Just 19 years before, a 31 year old Charles Dickens published 'A Christmas Carol'. It captured the public's imagination with its depiction of Scrooge and the spirit of the season. Though I don't keep Christmas personally, I support my husband by celebrating this joyful time. Likewise, my husband joins in my celebration of Chag Urim: The Festival of Lights. We will celebrate life, being naked and the joy of being free. Everyone gets one gift for eight nights. This year our two festivals coincide; the first time since 2005. However and whatever you celebrate: The Solstice, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Christmas, anything else, or just The Season to be Jolly; we wish you the best of times and the most wonderful of holidays.
Since you have read this far, you are almost certainly a naturist or at least naturally inclined. You don't need to read further. Happy Holidays! Please like and repost with our blessing. Do remember however that the text and images remain our copyright. While you go and do that, I have words of warning below the next picture, for others who aren't like us.
For those of you who didn't bother to read or were simply captivated by my naked body, not naturism, I have a new message. I am getting weary of seeing my posts shared on your sexualised blogs. By doing this, you totally misunderstand naturism. Naturism celebrates the naked lifestyle and not just sex. I absolutely adore sex but It is just one beautiful aspect of being naked, not its sole purpose! So from this point onwards, if you have a weird and empty blog with a name like 'hardon1969' or similar; if you just repost naked girls; other naturist's creative work and don't post your own - I may just have to block you, sorry. You will certainly also be blocked if you send sexualised messages and images of one tiny part of you! (you know what I mean) Do me a favour. Get naked in 2025. Post affirmative images of yourself on your blog. Better still, write something inspirational about naturism too. Make sure you also post an avatar that is actually you and not an icon. Be brave, be yourself and enjoy a Bright Nude Year!
Jane x
#naturist#nude outdoors#clothesfree#nude in nature#normalize nudity#girlblogging#outdoor nudity#hiking#woodland walk#nonsexual nudity#winter solstice#midwinter's day#midwinter's night
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Alright! The Empty House(Full Analysis, yay!]. My apologies that it's taken this long, but here we go.
So, a lot people know the story, that Holmes returns from the dead, having faked his death for three years, and helps solve the murder of Ronald Adair.
What I want to talk about though, is how Empty House is both a child of love, and resentment, and how it permeates throughout the story.
Resentment is obvious, at this point. Doyle resented the public pressure of 1893 England to have him bring back Sherlock Holmes, that that was what he was famous for, instead of his historical novels and Spiritualist work.
And it's colored into the characters as well. Different adaptations of Sherlock Holmes vary on levels of resentment. For example, the BBC Sherlock adaptation colors it heavily with resentment, and anger.
But even then, there is resentment between the characters as well. Even if Holmes's return is hailed as a joy by Watson, there is a resentment, a hesitation, in plunging back into his life with Sherlock Holmes.
Can you blame him? How would Watson know that Holmes wouldn't vanish again? How could Holmes traipse back into his life, free from the trauma and despair from Mary's death, and his own loss?
Perhaps, too, in this case, Watson serves as a mouthpiece for the audience. They resented that Holmes died. That the figure in their great game was gone. Dead. Their letters to Doyle, to anyone, to newspapers are desperate and resentful.
Doyle created an icon. And taking him away quite literally created a literary firestorm.
Resentment, I'd even argue, colors Holmes too. Watson did not live life in fear for three years, going from continent to continent, place to place, away from Moran, who knew he was alive.
Moran, of course, is another figure of resentment. He resents Holmes for taking Moriarty away. He resents Holmes for living when Moriarty plunged into the Falls, dead. And he resented Ronald Adair for cheating him out.
With all of these, it is no wonder it is from a pen of a bitter writer.
But, but. Love, is also strong here. It's incredibly strong. Perhaps even more so than resentment.
As I mentioned in my prior blog, Holmes’s return is gentle. He treats Watson's faint with care and a delicate hand. Mrs. Hudson accepts him back, and Watson does not ask him to leave(as much as I think Doyle wanted to...), and instead, is pleased Holmes is back, alive, and not dead at the bottom of Reichenbach.
I'd even argue that it's love that brought Holmes back. Love of his family, love of his brother, of John Watson, of Mrs. Hudson, of being able to help people, brought him back from Reichenbach and his three year exile.
(And, to even buying Watson's practice so Watson could have something to go back to after Mary's death. Whatever you may believe in between Holmes and Watson, that, to me, is a show of love and support. To help take care of a mourning friend.)
Remember: it was a murder that brought Holmes back. People needed help, and so did Watson, and everyone back in London with Moran on the loose. And as much as Holmes decries being bored at the face of crime, he is a man who loves to help. He loves being the one people turn to when other options are exhausted, or the police laugh them off.
Love and loyalty drive him to despair, when he can't save his clients.
Doyle didn't have to treat this story this gently. It didn't need to be there, for him, as he was caving into public pressure.
But it was. There is a dual element of both love and resentment from the pen of a bitter writer, and I think it's utterly fascinating.
#sherlock holmes#acd canon#acd holmes#acd watson#the empty house#sir arthur conan doyle#sherlock holmes analysis with clear#Exploring the implications of the Empty House#And all of its adaptations#So#to that extent#granada sherlock holmes#soviet sherlock holmes#bbc sherlock#And additional shoutout to other Empty House adaptations#near and far#they all explore this fascinating dynamic#and its wonderful
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TERRIBLE, BUT GREAT - CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
SUMMARY:
“Harry Potter.” The cold burrowed into his flesh, the scent of cloying death and molding earth clogged his senses.
“The Boy Who Lived.”
A strange sense of loss and disappointment rose within him. That brilliant, yet cruel boy could’ve been so much more if he’d not stepped down this bloodied path.
Terrible, but great. He pitied this creature.
“Come to die.”
Harry Potter faced the flash of green light with the bravery of a Gryffindor and the broken heart of a Hufflepuff.
—
When Death gives Harry a third option, one that can save everyone he ever cared about, he takes it unflinchingly. Even when that means doing the impossible: falling in love with the enemy, Tom Riddle.
—
FORTY-TWO EXCERPT:
Harry giggled. “Hello there, Hubert,” he said, stroking Hubert’s muzzle. The beast purred, low and deep. “Been enjoying yourself in the Forbidden Forest?”
Hubert shook himself again and let out a low humming warble. He swayed back and forth, his bones clacking together. Those glowing red eyes settled onto Tom and he sent a snuff of hot air. The beast nuzzled him gently. Tom relented and gave him a few pats on the snout.
“So long as you don’t try to sit on me again, we’ll get along just fine, you great beast.”
Hubert chuffed.
“I wonder why the magic hasn’t left him,” said Harry, still petting the dragon’s muzzle. “Shouldn’t something like this go away eventually? It’s been two months now.”
Tom frowned. His usual dislike for the beast twisted into intrigue and he took a good look at the creature. He’d been too busy being annoyed to really focus on just how remarkable it was that he was even alive. Technically. He really oughtn’t be alive considering he had no organs, no blood, no nerves, and no flesh.
“Usually, transfiguration spells and enchantments do wear off,” said Tom, studying Hubert for a long minute. “Only powerful wizards and witches can create something that is sustained throughout their lives. However, it always disappears upon their death.”
Harry slowly nodded, eyes clouding over.
“Since we’re both alive and he was animated by our combined magic, it’s likely he’ll always be sustained by magic until we both…”
Tom trailed off, his lips pursing together. Something inside of him rebelled at the thought of either of them dying. It felt taboo to speak its inevitability out loud, as if he were invoking something better left untouched. Birth and death came to all living persons equally, no matter one’s station in life.
But the idea of Harry dying gripped him by the lungs, stole his breath, with its terrifying possibility.
“My mom once transformed a petal from a lily into a fish,” said Harry softly. “But when she died… the fish disappeared.”
The unreasonable fear pricked at Tom’s heart.
Hubert let out a low, mourning tone. He butted his snout against Harry’s side. His smile softened; Harry patted the dragon a few more times.
What beautiful magic would disappear from this world if Harry suddenly wasn’t at Tom’s side?
How deeply would he feel the void?
Ridiculous. He had plans to avoid such a future. Tom’s hand flew to his collarbone; he pressed down, feeling the weight of the locket against his skin. Perhaps… Harry would agree to join him in that future, despite the dark magic the ritual would entail. It was a price worth paying if it meant they could always be at each other’s sides, right? Tom let out a low sigh and the fears faded from his racing heart. Maybe one day he’d broach the topic of horcruxes with Harry.
Hubert grew restless and distracted, his attention turning back to the forest. His large head tilted to the side, as if listening for something. He let out a deeper chuff and shifted his stance.
“You want to go back already?”
Hubert dipped his head, shifting back and forth on his hind legs again. Harry threw his arms around his muzzle, giving him another pat, before backing away a couple of paces.
“Bye, Hubert!” said Harry, waving at him. “See ya later!”
Tom forgot, much too late, that standing so close to a dragon lifting off would be an issue. The beast spread his wings and crouched. It bolted into the air with an enormous gust of wind, once more knocking the pair of them off their feet.
With a cry of surprise from Harry and an annoyed grunt from Tom, they fell to the ground tangled together. Tom landed hard onto his back with Harry landing on top of his chest, his hands slamming down at the sides of Tom’s shoulders. The weight of Harry bore down; a leg nestled between Tom’s thighs. Cold, wet snow frosted his back, yet the heat of him on top of Tom burned it all away. Harry’s chest heaved with each shaky breath and pressed against Tom with each exhale.
Those green eyes pinned Tom down. For a half a beat, they stared at each other, frozen in place.
Until Tom’s body reacted.
To his horror.
Oh, the betrayal. He knew what it meant. Understood. Oh, god. It wasn’t like he hadn't woken up to this before; it happened on the rare occasion, just like any other boy his age. But it never reacted to another person. Shit. The blood drained so fast from his face, Tom almost grew faint where he lay in the snow, almost swooned there on the ground as he lost all breath. No. Goddammit! How dare his trousers tent with this betrayal.
And the worst part of all?
Harry’s eyes widened.
He knows…
HE KNOWS!
#harry potter#tom riddle#tomarry#hp#fanfiction#fanfic#harrymort#hp fanfic#soulseeker#harry potter/tom riddle#mywriting#isa's writing#terrible but great
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Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite because even though I don't agree with most aspects of branded-ship culture for BLs, I would be absolutely heartbroken if OffGun, GeminiFourth, or FirstKhao ever permanently split
#obv i will still support all the actors no matter what#but like these couples' chemistry is so top teir#that i would be mourning the loss for so long#and i'm not really even talking about doing BL shows tgt#just their friendships in general i hope they never lose#offgun#off jumpol#gun attaphan#gun atp#geminifourth#fourthgemini#gemini norawit#fourth nattawat#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#khaotungfirst#khaofirst#khaotung thanawat#first kanaphan#gmmtv actors#gmmtv bl#bl actors
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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HOLY SHIT- HOLY. SHIT. I CAN'T BELIEVE, EVIL EARTH IS BACK-
I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK, WE'D HEAR FROM THE OTHER DIMENSIONS AGAIN-
THIS ENTIRE EPISODE WAS SO FASCINATING!!!
Earth's entire character revolves around making people happy! She is the caretaker, the therapist, the golden child.
She is kind to a fault, always wanting everyone to be happy, and putting the people around her above her.
She was created and taught to do so. It's her purpose.
THIS IS SUCH A CLEVER SPIN TO HER CHARACTER-
Taking the character trait that defines her the most, and twisting it into something sinister?? Holy shit, I love that!!!
This truly makes her feel in-character, while still giving her a chilling edge!
Instead of simply trying to make people happy, she's actively forcing them to! Even brainwashing them with camps!
And if they can't be happy? If they won't be? Then they are tainting her perfect utopia, and need to die.
This Earth seems to idolize the Creator a lot more, or he, at the very least, generally seems to have rubbed off on her, considering her apathy towards her sinister actions!
I cannot describe to you, how much I love this!!
I'm also really interested in her dynamic with her brothers, and the general world-building!
For one, she actively mentions, that their hatred for her comes from a place of prejudice, because she's a robot. The Creator's robot, to make it worse.
I love, how they consistently throw in humans' distaste for animatronics, and the latter's lack of rights!
Though in this case, that's definitely not it-
She also generally seems to take more of an older sister role? The way she talks to her Lunar sounds like an indeared older sibling, using a higher tone and generally seeming amused by their antics! Also her mentions of them being "silly" again, much like an older sibling indulging in her little sibling's games. This also plays into her patiently explaining everything.
I can't quite say for her dynamic with Moon, though it has shifted somehow!
There's little to go off, when analyzing the brothers, though they too seem generally more apathetic, and honestly tired. Especially Moon.
It's also interesting to note, that this Lunar apparently has a lot of memory issues, the humans actively meddling with their systems to put them against their sister! So much so, that Earth seems very much used to it!
This world fascinates me so much, and I hope, we'll see them again!
With her comeback, I also have hopes to see the other AUs again!
Listen- I need Lunara to make an appearance- I need them to be an antagonistic maniac- I need to know more about their resets, and how long it's been going on- I need them in my life-
I really hope to see a glimpse of Lord Lunar and Servant Eclipse again, and see if their dynamic has shifted since Gregory came by-
I want God Eclipse to be a smug bastard-
I also want go give a shout out to Ruin for being absolutely UNHINGED when it comes to building- Buddy legit built a high tech spaceship in underneath a year, and got a hold on several whiterstorm pieces-
And it feels CRIMINAL not to at least mention Earth's dream episode- Which I haven't done, cause brain fog-
It made me incredibly emotional too!! It's just-
The atmosphere was so incredibly somber…
Earth KNEW, he wasn't real, yet still found comfort in his memory-
OUCH-
-Stardust
YEHWYSYAYAYYAYAYA I KNOW RIGHT!!!!! GENUINELY I'M SO HAPPY THEY BROUGHT HER BACK AND SHOWED OFF MORE OF HER CHARACTER AND HER WORLD IT MADE ME SO HAPPYYYY!!!! I always thought it was a lil weak sauce that, last time, they just went "she's a dictator, evil enough!" so having them revisit her to elaborate and make her properly villainous is EVERYTHING TO MEEEE
AND YEA YEA YEA I LOVEEEE HOW THEY TWISTED HER MOTIVE!!! Exactly like u said abt her having more the Creator's influence, I adore that it's still distinctly her goal, it's just that she's not as emphatic about what she has to do to achieve that goal! And YEA the fact people were particularly displeased about her being the Creator's creation fascinates me.
In my heart I'm imagining someone in her universe made a very online callout post about her and her ties to the creator HSKAHSKS "ouf, unfollowing her now. i was a fan of her 'keep everyone happy' goal but i didn't know she was made by That guy 😬" LMAO
BUT ALSO WITH HER SIBLINGS YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!! She's definitely more authoritative with them, especially with Moon just outright calling her "boss"?!?!!! Whatever is happening there has me SO INTRIGUED. It definitely make me wonder what the lead-up to all this looked like...
I was sort of talking about smth similar with a friend earlier, like. if any of them ever pushed back at any point, only to be put in their place, or if they've just always been too scared to work against her.....
SPECIFICALLY LUNAR HAS ME SO FASCINATED THO YEAH. I cannot explain why for the lofe of me but the fact they're usually a target of the rebel's attacks and have constant memory issues as a result just scratches smth in my brain I rlly like it HAKAHXK
AND YEAAAHHHHHH OH MY STARS IF ANY OTHER AUS ARE REVISITED I THINK I'D GENUINELY ASCEND. MY SOUL WOULD LEAVE MY BODY. EXTRA DETAILS AND INTERACTIONS... TSAMS... TLAES... IF YOU HEAR ME PLEASE HAJAHAJAHS
ANS RUIN YEAHSJQHSKHS IDK HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT BUT LIKE. LITERAL SOLAF BEHAVIOR. THEY BOTH APPARENTLY LOVE TO WORK THEMSELVES SILLY 😭 AND EARTH'S EP I KNOWWW I KNWOEHHRGRHEGRHRGRG
Genuinely that whole ep was DEVASTATING. The whole "you don't know what he'd say, do you?" coming out of his own mouth had me MESSED UPPP 😭😭😭 1 MILLION EMOTIONS ATTACK FOREVER
#asks#anon#stardust anon#ALSO UR TOTALLY FINE FOR NOT LIKE. IMMEDIATELY COMMENTING ON ALL THE NEW EPS#there ain't as much breaks as before via the gaming videos so i totally get it to skip over some or ramble later!!!!#ouh but on topic tho i also wanted 2 say !!!!!#i can't help but wonder if. like. earth doesn't allow her sinlings to be unhappy either.#specifically bc i'm wondering how they would have handled loss. like if they had their own solar and he died too. would she even Allow them-#-to grieve? would she allow herself to? or is that against her goals. are they allowed to truly mourn the loss or do they just have to go-#'oh well. we'll miss em.' and move on. yk? yk?!?!!!!#just. GAH. RLLY INTERESTING SET-UP OVERALL YK HDJSBSKSHDKS#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#lunar and earth show#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#long post#very long post
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you are watching mythic quest season 3. i am watching the mythic quest season in my mind where cws death has an actual effect on most of the characters that prompts their development. we are not the same
#someone ask me to elaborate (PLEASE)#jk i’ll do it anyways#i just think that. for me death is something that is very emotional and to see it unutilised here is disappointing to say the least#like the fear of death coping with loss is something i KNOW these fuckers aren’t equipped to handle#and it doesn’t effect all of them and it’s not cw all centric#ian has a midlife crisis rachel loses her creative mentor david starts thinking about death and how people will#remember him (s2ep8 callback) we even saw brad moved at that bit to stay close to your friends!#poppy is too shunned to care dana is too emotionally healthy and doesn’t know cw that well jo. jo#david being in this state can also help brad show jo he’s weak (seeds of doubt in david’s leadership)#and ALSO dana not having an emotional reaction to cws death can also create#more of a rift between her and ian because it’s something she just can’t relate to#ian also mourning in silence also would’ve been so much fucking sadder after sarian knowing the two parental figures that admired and#inspired his creativity are gone#god#this show is evil anyways#also i have a long sad letter cw would write rachel from the grave would y’all like to see that#mythic quest#kaitlinshottakes#poppy li#brad bakshi#ian grimm#cw longbottom#jo mythic quest#rachel mythic quest#dana mythic quest
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#dkhghgghkslghhhgh I'm Not Normal about rotg#my interest in it picks back up for a few weeks each year and I just. sigh#please dreamworks I know you had sequels planned. you don't know how big it would be amongst today's audiences. I prommy#director PETER RAMSEY and executive producer GUILLERMO DEL TORO both want to give it a second chance#as does joyce. the guy who sold the IP to dreamworks#nooo because there are so many interesting things the movie could pull on if it starts looking at the guardians with respect#to events of the past#a big critique of rotg is that it doesn't have much plot and I think that largely comes as a result of the movie being mostly setup#it needed to spend so much time establishing its world and I'm so glad that it did#but it did lead to people questioning what the heck bunny and tooth are and why pitch feels so flat etc etc#oh my GOD if they dug into how pitch was created it would add so much subtext to the antarctica scene#I wouldn't care about whether they brought in nightlight stuff or not by integrating more material from the books bc movie canon#is already so distinct but YOU'RE TELLING ME that this man... a guard in his own right... succumbed to the powers of fear#because he was mourning the loss of his child??? because he wanted to protect her??? and then he tried to connect with jack#(a child) over how much he longed to be known and have a FAMILY??? how am I supposed to be normal about this#there are so many ghosts of the books' influence in the first movie that could be explored so much#not to mention something something fear exists to keep people (kids) safe and eliminating it completely would be Bad Actually#maybe I'm realizing I just want pitch to be explored more sdkfjsldfjks#I've seen a lot of folks say they want more seasonal characters to be introduced and I guess that could work in the context of a show#but if they dove more into how the guardians came to be and what MIM's deal is and how that all affects the present#ohhhh baby that's good content right there#fern muses
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#also i've finally deleted L's number from my phone and the sad spotify playlist and the list of her fav things#(also i feel like saying list of her fav things sounds weird and creepy. just to clarify i keep a running list for each of my friends with#like important info and their fav food and coffee order and stuff like that because i have a really bad memory and can't always remember#details like that even though i really care. i just have trouble recalling details when i want to get them treats and stuff)#but anyway.. i deleted all that stuff from my phone. i even charged my old phone so that i could delete her number from there too. i want to#let her go. i've moved on so long ago but for some reason i just haven't been able to fully let her go so i've held onto these little things#but i'm finally ready to fully let her go#so i deleted that stuff. i cut that connection. i no longer have her number. and it feels so good#like that tiny part of me holding on is a little sad. but it's more mourning the loss of what could've been#but i've accepted that it doesn't matter. i can't keep thinking about what would've happened if she hadn't moved or if i'd reached out#sooner when she got back. i can wonder and wonder but i'll never be able to go back in the past. i don't need to wonder anymore#because honestly i don't even want to be with her anymore.. it would kind of be embarrassing. idk i was just such a different person when we#were seeing each other. i feel like a completely different person than that and idk it's almost embarrassing that she knew me like that when#i know how much better i am now. like i just truly like myself more now than then. i'm so much cooler now lmao#but yeah. i don't want her anymore. i'm letting go. i can finally actually let go and it feels so good#and not only for me but like i'll no longer have that tiny layer of guilt when dating anybody else#and i'll be able to actually fully be all in for that person and that's what i want#i don't want to hold out for her anymore#and honestly. i hadn't been while dating N#that's a whole other thing i have to deal with#but i'm just glad that i'm no longer holding onto L. i just feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me :)#blake says shit
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To Be Abnormal for a second Every Frame A Painting If Jo Is In It right... an exquisite top pick... his attitude and body language are So Cunty when he's in control of a situation... he's just very fun to watch and the Context that the cap is part such a sequence and what comes before and after elevates it...
Plus the lighting and color grading in the office is very suited to Jo's design with the purple and pink undertones, and the general framing/negative space/value distribution in that particular shot is Just Good; the blinds also make for a nice backdrop and the way he casts this really soft shadow behind him does a lot to make him subtly stand out from the background... ALSO I love the detail of the blinds being Kind Of Fucked Up In Places like he put his hands on them with a little too much force at some point and [being dragged away to be institutionalized]
BUT YEAH NO I DELETED THE POST BUT I DEFINITELY. HAD SOME THOUGHTS. AS YOU CAN SEE.
It's not JUST that it's A Disservice To Mr. Tsutsumi it's that... as I was sort of talking about at the stream with young [i.e. eighties] Jo although I didn't elaborate... this and some other decisions age him so much. Like, when Tsutsumi was actually around that age, he looked like this. A Baby.
And I just think... NOT having that wide-eyed innocence isn't as fitting. It's like buying into Jo's Belief that he's all-grown-up when really he's still got the mentality and coping mechanisms of a child at fifteen and hangs onto a great deal of it well into adulthood... I think it was important to give him a face people'd instantly want to protect to place visual emphasis on the enormity of everything going on in Jo's monologue.
Would also apply to what you were talking about in the MineDai-AraSawa comparison ask, how Arakawa might feel extra-concerned for him because he's younger [I can't say much because my age gap with most of my friends is big anyway, but I frequently see my friends in their mid-twenties or later feel that way with their friends in their early-twenties]
Like it's THERE I just want it to be there visually... in a visual medium... in the ONLY visual medium where de-aging someone with 100% accuracy would be possible... is that so much to ask...
HIS CUNTINESS YEAH that's the way to put it (❁´◡`❁) tbf i color corrected the scene Just A Little since the cap i had was just Weirdly Dark BUT the colors ARE still there.... his suit and overall character does just Pop against how white/grey everything is around him
AND YEAYEA THE FACT HIS BLINDS ARE A LITTLE BENT IN SOME PLACES it's a tiny detail but it's one of my favorite things i noticed- i didnt think it was worth mentioning but im glad you noticed it too (╯▽╰ )
BUT BEHIND THE LORE REASONS™️ TO NERF TTM'S LIPS YEAH lowkey that's how ive forever chosen to interpret jo's flashbacks and why he seems so much older in them (Alongside with arakawa sounding older than he reasonably should at that point BUT ig you can make a case of The Yakuza Aging Someone idk not the main point). i think rgg just knew that if they kept ttm's natural lips i wasn't going to take sawashiro seriously for any longer than five seconds before being wholeheartedly distracted.. ( ̄人 ̄)
#long post#snap chats#SORRY IT TOOK ME A BIT TO GET TO THIS i was finishin up that last comm and i was havin a quick shower. before a 3h walk.#no it doesnt make sense but i wont be able to shower tomorrow and Its Complicated NOT THE POINT ANYWAY#forever thinking about jo's fucked up blinds... bro what'd you see that had you so pissed.....i have to KNOW#I CANT EVEN BULLSHIT A REASON JUST LET ME KNOW WHY HE SO PISSED ALL THE TIIMMEE#rgg was smart in the nerf like bro gon be pissed and i Would Not have been paying attention ☠️☠️☠️#at least coulda brought it back for when jo was younger... but again i can justify it in my head not to...#makes it sadder that way... but also bring them back a mod even i'll even take a mod i just wanna see--#I FEEL LIKE MY RESPONSE IS TRASH BUT ITS ALSO CAUSE IM RUSHING CAUSE I GOTTA BOUNCE IN A COUPLE MINUTES SOOO#i have a follow up post regarding my. Sporadic Timing Nowadays but as for this ask BYE BYE TY FOR WRITING IN#AND AS ALWAYS TY FOR MOURNING THE LOSS OF HIS LIPS WITH MELKVAEJLVKJ#most sane. most sane rgg complaint.
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man. I knew jumping spiders didn't have a long life but seeing mine slowing down and reaching the end of hers hurts way more than I expected it too
#pet death#pet loss#she's not gone yet. but she's certainly not got long#i knew even more she wouldn't last long with me since she clearly wasn't a baby when i got her#but man. this sucks#she's lost her grip on things and can't produce web anymore. she keeps falling onto her back and i have to gently flip her over#getting her to eat is becoming hard . harder than it already was with her picky ass (affectionate)#hhh. not having a good time#vent#<- sorry i just need to get it out somewhere. i really didn't think it would hit me this much but watching it slowly happen is like#agonizing#and i feel really silly preemptively mourning my spider. but shit man. sucks#just trying to distract myself in the meantime while checking on her every hour or so. the least i can do is try still#h.#ask to tag#<- in case i forgot something
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tw - dub/con, afab!reader, cockwarming, medical malpractice, nonconsensual drug use, manipulation, unbalanced power dynamics, and obsessive behavior.
[commissioned piece. donate to palestinians in gaza here.]
“It really is a shame to lose such a lovely patient.
His hand drifted from your thigh to your hip, rocking you back as you tried to squirm away from him. He was too deep, too big, and you’d been sitting on his cock for too long. Whenever you tried to shift your weight, though, the arm wrapped around your waist would tighten its hold and drag you back into place, leaving your ass slotted against his hips and your cunt struggling to clench around his base. You didn’t know how long he’d kept you like this, but it must’ve been longer than an hour, if not two, three, four. Despite your foggy senses, you could feel slick dripping down your thighs, an empty void in the pit of your stomach where pleasure should’ve been. You could remember hearing that Harper was a good doctor, but that couldn’t be right. Doctors weren’t supposed to make you feel so bad.
“I mean, I know it should be a doctor’s goal to see their patients off as happy and as healthy as can be, but—” He paused, sighed, and you could picture him rolling his eyes, feigning wistfulness as he let out an airy chuckle. “Good, obedient patients can be so rare, especially in a town like this. I’m allowed to mourn the loss of my best charge yet, aren’t I?”
You felt him twitch inside of you, and in search of a distraction, your gaze fell to the collection of papers fanned out over the desk in front of you. You knew you were supposed to be reading them, but the text seemed so impossibly small, and your last round of medication was still clouding your senses, making it hard to focus on much of anything beyond the throbbing in your core, the feeling of his cock stretching you open despite your body’s best attempts to force him out. You could recognize the phrases, signal out words like ‘unfit’ and ‘dependent’ mixed in with the rest of the benign text, but when you tried to put it all together, none of it made sense. It was all you could do to check the boxes Harper pointed to, sign your name on any dotted lines that hadn’t already been filled by his. You could only hope that, when you finished, he’d let you stand up, get off of him, go back to your cozy room with its nice, soft padded walls. You couldn’t imagine having to sleep in his office, again.
“And you’ve been so cooperative, too,” he went on, his chin coming to rest on your shoulder. You felt his lips against the shell of your ear, then your cheek. “Always taking your medication, always following your treatment plans, always coming to our little sessions with an open-mind – the pinnacle of an ideal patient. Honestly, sometimes I think I could tell you to stick your hand in a vat of boiling water, and you’d do it with a smile on your face. All for the sake of your recovery, of course.”
It was him moving, this time – shifting forward until your stomach was pressed against the blunt edge of his desk and he was all-but draped over you, his body pressed flush against yours. You let out a pitchy whine by way of protest, but Harper didn’t seem to notice, only humming as his hand found yours. “Almost done, little mouse. Just one more page.” He was practically cooing as he took you by the wrist, guiding your hand to the bottom of the final page. Two thick, cutting lines occupied most of the available space, his neat signature taking up the first. He brought you to the second, almost daunting in its vacancy, his index finger tapping against the back of your hand. “You remember your name, right? Can you write it for me?”
It was so hard to think, to stay awake, to try and remember a time where he hadn’t been planted so deeply inside of you. “If…” you started, only to trail off. You blinked once, then twice, and did your best to force your tongue to move. “If I do, can I go home?”
Usually, Harper hated it when you talked about the orphanage, about school, about home. You hadn’t meant to, you just wanted to go back to your room, and you moved to correct yourself, to promise that you didn’t want to be anywhere but this hospital, his hospital before he frowned and prescribed you another electrotherapy session, another dose of the small, white pills that left your thoughts blurred and your body hot. But, anything you might’ve been able to spit out died with a breathy laugh, a peck to the corner of your jaw. “Of course,” he purred, rocking his hips gently against yours. “Sign, and I’ll take you home tonight.”
For the first time in weeks, you felt yourself start to smile. Hastily, smudging the ink more than once, you scrawled your name across the brutal line, dropping the pen and going slack against Harper as soon as you were finished. There was another open-mouthed kiss to your throat, then the dip of your shoulder, and he dragged you back onto his lap with a playful squeeze to your thigh, a grin pressed into the crook of your neck. You squirmed unabashedly, now, your hands graspingly weakly at the arms of his chair in hopes of pulling yourself to your feet, but Harper held you tight. “Where do you think you’re going, little mouse?”
“I need to— You said I could go—”
“Just give me another minute, darling.”
His cock pulsed against the walls of your cunt, and you felt something break open inside of you.
“I want to appreciate this moment before we get you to proper, brand-new home.”
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#degrees of lewdity#dol#harper the doctor#dol harper#harper x reader#yandere harper#dol harper x reader#yandere drabble#yandere degrees of lewdity#degrees of lewdity imagines#yandere dol#dol imagines
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it’s never over | sebastian vettel
pairing: sebastian vettel x actress!reader
summary: ten fateful years ago, y/n and sebastian vettel broke up, breaking hearts all over the world. present day, y/n starts leaving small hints about finding another lover. the world goes crazy.
liked by redbullracing, and 284,920 others!
ynandsebplscomeback: we are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of yn and sebastian vettels relationship. 10 years ago today, their breakup was announced, shattering the hearts of millions. please, we ask for a ten minute silence from you all, thank you.
view comments below!
user1: pls-i can’t take this rn 💔
user2: IT BEEN TEN YEARS??????
user3: ten depressing ass years
user4: the way we all thought they were coming back when they were sennas memorial tribute 🧍
user5: THEY WERE TALKING AND GIGGLING IT UP!!!!!! THEY TRICKED US 💔
redbullracing: 💔💔.
user6: i honestly think nobody was more hurt about the breakup then the redbull admin. they have been liking y/n+seb content since they broke up 😭😭
user7: THEY BROKE UP SO SEB COULD FOCUS ON HIS CAREER. HE NO LONGER HAS A CAREER SO THEY NEED TO GET BACK TOGHER RIGHT NOW.
user8: i remember when seb announced his retirement and everyone was so happy??? because this meant a more chance of y/n and him getting back together 😭
user9: i can’t do this right now. maybe tomorrow. not today.
user10: everyday i pray they get back together, today i will pray harder.
liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 837,205 others!
yourusername: calm days 💗
view comments below!
user11: no….no…no this can’t be
user12: who tf is that
user13: WHAT IS THIS?? ON THE TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY?? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS
user14: m-maybe that’s seb?? pls cmon tell me it’s seb. y/n i beg.
user15: you’re dating another white man and it ISNT seb??? this is unacceptable.
redbullracing: why would you do this to me
yourusername: ?
user16: DONT. do not. question mark us right now.
user17: THAT ISNT SEB Y/N AND YOU KNOW IT.
user18: guys don’t worry!! that’s definitely seb!! just look at the finger tips…i compared them to other pictures of seb and it’s literally him!
user19: this is what crazy looks like
charles_leclerc: 🤩🤩
user20: WHAT DO YOU KNOW CHARLES
user21: SEE because if it WASNT seb charles definitely wouldn’t have commented. he’s the biggest y/n+seb shipper, behind the redbull admin ofc
user22: unless i see that man man’s face, and im 1003847% certain it isn’t seb. i will continue to believe that it is sebastian and they reconnected and are planning to live happily ever after 😝😝
user23: can you guys stop harassing y/n for moving on after 10 years 😑😑
user24: seb and y/n haven’t dated anyone since they split. i feel like it’s time for her to move on. this is good for her
liked by yourusername, scuferiaferrari, and 962,927 others!
sebastianvettel: calmer days!
view comments below!
user25: wait a damn minute
user26: ITS HAPPENING STAY CALM EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM
user27: that’s y/ns leg. i fucking know it.
user28: AND HER HAND!! ITS HER FUCKING HAND GUYS!!
user29: WAR IS OVER
user30: omg wait i’m crying
user31: istg if this turns out to NOT be y/n. i will be killing myself.
redbullracing: are those the birds chirping? the sun shining?
user32: i know admin is jump in up and down in happiness
user33: OKAY GUYS WIAT WAIT WAIT J BEED TO PROCESS THIS. I NEED TIME
charles_leclerc: ❤️❤️
user34. HE KBEW!! HE FUCKING KNEW!!
user34: wait he knew….
user34: YOU FUCKING KNEW AND DIDNT SAY ANYTHING FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG?? YOU SICK SICK FUCK
user35: nobody will ever understand how happy i am right now
liked by redbullracing, yourusername, and 1,730,026 others!
sebastianvettel: happy one year anniversary to my beautiful beautiful wife ❤️❤️ here’s to many more!
view comments below!
redbullracing: what
redbullracing: is this a joke?
redbullracing: please don’t mess with me like this
redbullracing: OMG
redbullracing: OH MY GOD
user36: holy. fucking. shit.
user37: you sick fuckers. YOU HAVE SEEN WHAT YOUR BREAKUP CAUSED AND ALL THIS TIME YOUVE BEEN MARRIED???
user38: FOR A WHOLE ASS YEAR NO LESS
user39: i don’t know if im happy that your married or mad that you LET ME THINK YOU WERE STILL BROKEN UP
user40: so many mixed emotions rn
user41: this is making my head hurt…in a good way
user42: THIS MEANS THEY WERE TIGTHER DURING THE SENNA TRIBUTE. I FUCKING KNEW IT.
charles_leclerc: happy one year 👏👏❤️
user43: okay but how did charles keep this a secret…
user44: RIGHT?? i feel liked he’d be the first to accidentally say something 😭
liked by sebastianvettel, charles_leclerc, and 964,016 others!
yourusername: my beautiful beautiful husband 💗 one year down! many more to come!!
view comments below!
redbullracing: my god it’s real…
redbullracing: MY GOD ITS REAL
redbullracing: AHHHHHH
user45: this is the most relatable thing ever
user46; thank you gods 🙏🙏🙏
user47: ive reached peak happiness
user48: okay but when are we getting wedding pics???🤨
user49: NO FUCK THIS. i need a timeline of EVERYTHING. when they met, when the got together, when they b-broke up, WHEN THEY STARTED DATING AGAIN??, when they got engaged, AND WHEN THEY GOT FUCKING MARRIED???
user50: what kills me is that we will probably never get this information 💔💔
user51: i can die peacefully now, thank you y/n ❤️
. . .
notes; my first seb smau, hope you enjoy!! :)
#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel x you#sebastian vettel x y/n#sebastian vettel social media au#sebastian vettel smau#sebastian vettel fanfic#sebastian vettel fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 social media au#f1 smau#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one smau
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COMFORT ME, STAY WITH ME
pairing: aegon targaryen x targaryen!reader
word count: ~1.6k
warnings: spoilers for s2e2 of HoTD, mentions of murder and death of a child, surprisingly i thinks there isn't any cursing or smut, maybe next time ;) just good old sad aegon
a/n: this is my first time ever writing for HoTD or GoT for that matter. please be kind to me. i tried to use appropriate wording for the time period. i'm somewhat successful but i have work ahead of me to become a pro.
i felt so enraged when alicent walked out on her grieving son to go fuck around with cole. what the fuck is your problem? i always gave her the benefit of the doubt but this episode just proves what a terrible mother she is. i figured the only person fit to comfort my baby boy aegon is someone raised by rhaenyras gentle heart.
lowkey want to make a throuple out of reader, aegon, and helaena. readers gonna be a little psychologist lol. she'd hold their hands and force them to kumbaya haha but obviously they'd be like this cant work without you. maybe they'll follow aegon the conqueror and have her as a second wife but idk would anyone be interested in that? i'm rambling. enjoy!
Helaena’s Turn
STAY WITH US
The cold stone of the Red Keep kept you company as you strode through its halls. The breeze of the night offered you comfort and aided your mind to forget the terrible events that have plagued the Keep.
And yet, despite your energies being depleted, you can't seem to find rest. Loss weighs you down and spirals you into a depth of overbearing thoughts, making sleep a mere idea.
The Red Keep, the place you once called home, has become your prison. For weeks, you were not allowed out of your chambers, and for a short time afterward, a guard followed you wherever you went.
It has all changed, though. The death of the King's son has diverted all of the guard's forces to find the culprit. The priority is to search for the monster that gruesomely and cruelly decapitated a child while he slept rather than to watch over a harmless Princess who is simply not on their side.
As a result, you're now free to roam the castle, granted there are eyes all around. You wouldn't be able to step foot outside the castle if you tried, and any suspicious activity would immediately be reported to the Hand of the King.
For an unknown reason, your feet guide you to the King's chambers, where indiscernible, muffled sounds come from. You look around and find that the guard meant to protect the King is absent. It's worrisome. You stand in the middle of the stone hallway, your hands clasped, as you make a decision.
While your loyalty lies with the Blacks, you cannot stand and watch more of your family be killed, including the Usurper. Daemon has always been 'kind' in mentioning that your gentle heart will cause your death. You'd argue it's an honorable way to go.
You slip through the ajar door quietly, getting closer to the sound. There is destruction across the room. The Old Valyria model your grandfather worked on for most of his life is scattered on the floor, beyond salvation. Goblets and spilled wine, thrown in a fit of rage, decorate the walls.
It is only when a sharp gasp and a shuddering breath echo around the room that you recognize the sounds you heard outside. They are cries.
You release a breath of relief. No one is in danger, although it does not signify someone is not hurting. You peak further into the room and debate on your next course of action. If the mess inside the chambers and the lack of guards mean anything, it's that the King would like to be alone.
But you know Aegon. You grew up with him. He's not one to reach out for help until it's too late. You make a haste decision. Aegon will not grieve alone tonight.
You know what that's like. Your brother, Lucerys, was murdered not too long ago, and you had no choice but to mourn alone. The Hand of the King locked you in your chambers, afraid your temper would lead you to do something drastic. It's the most horrid thing you've ever endured.
How you wished for Rhaenyra, or anyone for that matter, to hold you while you cried. A maid would've sufficed, but no one was allowed entry into your chambers.
Aegon sits by the fireplace, his head hung low, as he cries for his dead son. It might not have looked like it, but Aegon deeply cared for the boy. He wished to be better than his father ever was, and he was succeeding.
Until two days ago.
You've witnessed firsthand the blanket of sorrow that has covered the Red Keep, spent many hours by Haelena's side, offering her your shoulder, and never realized the King would need the same.
Why is Aegon alone? He should not have to go through this by himself. You expected he would have surrounded himself with his men and countless bottles of wine or sought refuge in Helaena's arms since they shared the same grief.
A heartbreaking cry snaps you out of your thoughts—his whole body trembles from loss. Aegon gasps for air to aid his burning lungs, yet he can't control the tears that track down his cheeks and the raking breaths that course through his body and limit his breathing.
He does not know what to make of himself. His fingers shake as he fumbles with the ring on his finger—the one with the dragon crest. Aegon doesn't know what to make of himself. He's never endured this sort of loss.
His sobs are the ones of a man who lost a part of himself. Jaehaerys, his legacy, has gone too soon. Aegon spent time with the boy the morning before his death, doting on him like Viserys never did to him.
He's so lost in his grief that Aegon doesn't hear when you stumble upon a piece of cast from the model. Being careful with your steps, you reach Aegon's side and place a hand on his shoulder.
Alarmed, he turns to face the person who disturbs him, only to find you—you who have been keeping the Hightower siblings together despite belonging to the other side.
"Leave me be," he sniffs, staring back into the fire. He wonders if that's how his son's pyre looked earlier that day.
You kneel on the floor, settling between his legs to cup his cheeks in your palms. Wide, glossy lilac eyes stare back as they fill with more tears.
As his tears fall, you wipe them away. It's enough to make Aegon crumble in your arms, releasing louder cries and questions that will forever remain unanswered.
It's so easy to let go when you know someone is there to catch you.
Aegon fists your dress like a child would to its mother. You rub his back soothingly, holding him as tightly as you're able. You press a kiss to the side of his head, whispering calming words.
Aegon never wanted to be king, yet the moment he tries to fulfill his duty the moment he tries to be a proper king, he is rewarded by his son being brutally taken from him.
It's not a fair world. The Gods have never been kind to him, and he's afraid he'll only ever live a life of torment.
Now, more than ever, he doesn't want to be King. It is a mere reminder of how heavy the crown truly is. It's a shackle meant to keep him in place while others act upon his name while he pays for the consequences.
"Jaehaerys was a bright soul. I am sorry this has happened. You should've never had to experience this pain," you whisper in his ear. No parent should experience the death of their child. It is a sad reality the Targaryens have experienced all too well.
Aegon nods in agreement, and only when he's calm enough to speak does he tear himself away from your embrace. He instantly misses your warmth and the smell of roses in your hair.
"Why are you comforting me when you should be celebrating my demise?" His waterline is stained red, just like the tip of his nose, and he's never looked more innocent than in that moment.
You tilt your head sadly, that same emotion reflected in your eyes. "I do not celebrate the loss of innocents, especially one that has gone too soon. I also do not particularly like the notion of someone I hold dear grieving alone."
"You did," he sniffs. He remembers hearing your cries that night; the whole Red Keep could. You cried and screamed the entire night until you fell asleep from exhaustion and starvation.
Otto prohibited them from coming to you. Haelena tried, but he dismissed the idea with the false notion that you'd hurt her in your grief. Otto confuses you with your parentage. Unlike them, you're kind and gentle and wouldn't dare hurt anyone.
"Which is how I know I would never wish it upon my worst enemy." You brush your fingers through his blonde hair, tucking the messy strands behind his ears.
"Is that what I am to you? An enemy?" He asks, disgruntled.
"No," you answer immediately, your hands coming down to rest upon his chest. His breathing has calmed since you first saw him. "At least, not yet."
His lilac eyes bore into hers in search of the truth; shyly, you hold onto his gaze with nothing to hide except your intentions to help. Sighing, he closes his eyes and bumps his forehead against yours. Aegon will take what he can get. There's seemingly no one else to help him deal with his emotions.
"Stay," he pleads, holding onto the hand that's placed on his chest. This is the most at peace he's felt in a while. He wishes to savor it for a moment longer.
"For as long as you need, my King," you reply, closing your eyes.
"Aegon," he says. He refuses to be reminded of what lies outside his bed chambers. For just a moment, he wishes to simply be Aegon.
"Aegon," you respond, correcting yourself. He squeezes your hand appreciatively, tucking your head on his neck.
He keeps you in his arms until late hours in the night, recounting memories he shared with Jaehaerys. The pain is real and raw, and he won't be well for a long time, but for this night, Aegon will seek solace in your embrace, where he knows he won't be judged or be seen as a burden.
In your arms, he's not Aegon' the Magnanimous.' He's not seen as careless or reckless or the lesser child of Alicent Hightower.
He's Aegon.
helaena’s part has been posted! HELAENA’S TURN
Final part! STAY WITH US
that’s it! it’s sweet and short. i just wanted to have someone comfort aegon like he deserves. during that scene i wished i could jump into t he screen and hug him. it’s all so tragic.
i wish i could do the same with haelena. my girl needs to be coddled. fuck alicent. fuck otto. most importantly fuck criston cole.
if you enjoyed this one shot please don’t forget to like or comment and if you want more of it feel free to let me know! i don’t bite (unless you want me to)!
#fanfiction#aegon targaryen fanfic#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon x reader#aegon ii targaryen#hotd aegon#hotd#hotd season 2#hotd fanfic#hotd fanfiction#house of the dragon fanfiction#aegon targaryen fanfiction
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The Proposal
This mini fic was inspired by the anon prompt to @faeriekit linked here and all the development that Faeriekit did for the idea. This fic is perilously regional. I half expect angry yelling from other areas of the Midwest.
Original post
Word count: 2718
Masterpost of my Archive Down Fics is here.
Jason came to with cream cheese stuck under his fingernails and in the creases of his fingers. He looked around the room wildly, trying to understand the situation he was in. The kitchen smelled fucking weird. He sniffed the air. Meat? Like, ham and also vinegar?
He washed his hands really well, grimacing at the greasy texture. Then he reconstructed what must have happened by the debris. This was not his first post-blackout rodeo, but usually he was reconstructing a literal crime scene.
There was an empty pickle jar on the countertop. There were packets of deli meat in the trash.
There was some kind of abomination on his nicest plate, which was obviously made of cream cheese wrapped around pickles, blanketed by the meat, and sliced thin like sushi rolls. It was lovingly protected by a perfect sheet of cling wrap.
“The fuck?” Jason said, a little scared and pissed off.
He paced the kitchen for a while and then went to pace on the balcony, because he needed a smoke to process this culinary abomination but something in his gut wailed at the tragedy of ruining it with cigarette smoke. Which was absurd, partly because the plate was in the refrigerator. He sensed in his bones that it needed to cool until the cream cheese was as hard as it would get, so that he could safely transport it. Transport it fucking where? Was this an assassination attempt against Batman? That sappy motherfucker was probably the only man in the world who would choke that down to make Jason happy.
He had a long drag on his cigarette and tried to ignore the way his fingers shook.
“Okay,” he said, squeezing his free hand shut and opening it. Maybe stimming would prompt his brain to go brr and explain this. “Did I have a stroke? Maybe I was possessed?”
It was hard to tell. He ground out his cigarette and tossed the butt in the tray before venturing back inside. He was calm. He was more centered. He flicked on the kitchen fan to clear out the pickle stink and then he went and put on his coat and grabbed the plate.
Why was he doing that?
The compulsion led him three blocks before he realized where he was going.
Not far away from the safehouse he was in, some college freshman had wasted the Joker when the clown tried to drag him into a van. He had called the police, crying the whole time in shock about being a murderer.
Jason had not been on the scene. He had only heard through comms. He had been out of town when the Joker got out. He had been rushing back on his bike, heart pounding and sick with nerves at the thought of his family out there without him.
And then the fucker had failed to secure the first victim for whatever sick play he’d had in mind, and the poor out of town kid who had apparently never heard of the Joker was breathing a sigh of relief that ‘oh, this wasn’t like, a birthday clown? Whew, that’s alright then,’ previous guilt over ending a life all gone.
Jason liked that. It was hugely undignified that the Joker had been got by someone who didn’t even know who he was. If he’d known, it would have killed his ego. As it was, Jason had laughed himself nearly sick before barricading himself inside to read the file Timmers put together on Danny Fenton.
Well. If his gut said that he should deliver this horrific dish to Fenton as thanks for the murder, well…
Jason grimaced. He just wouldn’t be seen doing it. If Fenton thought it was an assassination attempt and called the cops, Jason would never fess up.
He broke into Fenton’s apartment, very glad that the guy was in class at the moment. He mourned the loss of his plate but honestly, this was the least destructive black out he’d had, so it was whatever. He put the pickle rolls in the fridge, looked around, and then left. He was done. He’d thanked Fenton, or whatever (maybe he’d attacked him, honestly, Jason didn’t know how he would react to finding that trash in his fridge.)
It could end now.
The next morning, Jason scrubbed away a yawn and realized that he had just scraped a mess of chopped snickers bars into a bowl that already had clouds of something white and -
He took out a piece and bit into it to confirm that it was perfectly cubed green apple.
“I am possessed,” Jason said in horror, looking around the counter to see what the Pit Madness had cooked up this time. Why did the fucking Lazarus Pit know these recipes?
The white shit was a mix of cool whip and vanilla pudding, apparently. There was an untouched bottle of caramel sauce waiting innocently.
“...Does that go in?” Jason wondered, vaguely horrified.
Well, maybe an evil witch was doing this to him. Bottoms up. He poured caramel in until it felt right, guided by what had to be someone else’s goddamn ancestors, and then mixed it all up with a spoon.
This looked a lot better than the last thing. Jason scraped it into a bowl and then stole a spoonful of it to try.
“Holy shit. It’s like eating a caramel apple,” he said, muffled around the food. He swallowed and genuinely considered taking more.
Nope! His gut said nope. This was another offering for–
“Hold up, offering?” Jason put it in the fridge, clingwrap on top, and let his mind be blown. He put his face in his hands and just reeled. He was making offerings for this motherfucker now. He opened his phone, intending to search the things he’d been blackout making and froze.
His lock screen was Danny Fenton’s police intake photo, looking pretty relaxed after he'd been told the booking was a formality.
“I don’t remember doing that!” Jason frantically changed it back to his old lock screen, a grimy alleyway with a hilariously shaped filth puddle and one of his favorite rats.
He snuck this dessert thing into Fenton’s fridge, collected his clean plate with some relief, and left. He didn't know if Fenton had eaten that shit or if he'd thrown it away, but at least he'd washed the plate.
“That was the last time,” Jason told himself, pacing around his room. He wasn’t– that was two days in a row now that he had a normal day, went out on patrol, went to bed, and woke up in his kitchen. It wasn’t going to happen again.
He chainsmoked all day to such a degree that Stephanie Brown saw him, whined “Dude,” in disbelief, and jumped off a building while holding her nose to get away from him. It was a fair reaction. He had a shower before patrol so that no one could make a connection between Jason, stinkiest man in Gotham today, and the Red Hood, a guy who owned a shower.
Patrol went fine. He caught himself veering past Fenton’s shitty apartment building twice but no one was nearby enough to call him out for it.
He went to bed and got a jumpscare because at some point of his most recent fugue state he'd gone out and bought a bunch of wedding magazines and made them into a nest. He made a roar of frustration and pushed them off the bed with only a twinge of interest in what that swan centerpiece was made of.
Jason went the fuck to sleep, determined to walk this off.
He woke up the next morning in his kitchen. “Cream cheese, again,” Jason complained. He gave the bowl he was mixing a furious stir and then shoved it in the fridge.
Cream cheese, chopped meat, and chopped green onion. He searched the internet to identify the fucker. This was a cheeseball.
…He frowned, thinking of the fugly mess in the bowl.
It was the larval form of a cheeseball, he amended.
Why did he know this shitty recipe.
Stomach tight with dread, he looked up the other things. Day one was a pickle roll. Day two was snickers salad.
These were all real Midwestern potluck dishes. He hadn't made them up. Why did the pit know these recipes?
The Snickers salad offended him as a concept and he bitterly regretted finding it delicious.
“Salad,” Jason repeated in aggrieved disbelief. It was good but it was no goddamn salad. “I could just make him a real salad. Will this end if I bring Fenton good food?”
It wasn't the worst idea. He put a pin in it.
Grimly, as if he was going off to war, Jason researched how to shape the ball. If he was doing this, which apparently he was for no goddamn reason, he was going to do it to perfection. When he was done he wrapped it up tight, got an assortment of crackers, and left it at Danny Fenton’s apartment with a sort of tired resignation that this might as well be happening.
This time was different. This time, Fenton was home.
Jason barely avoided being seen by rushing out the window over the sink and hiding from the immediate line of sight. He was, however, close enough to hear–
“Holy shit, is that a cheeseball? Who loves me?” and then some truly ghastly, wet crunching as Fenton tore through the crackers and cheeseball like a wild beast. It felt like being in a horror film. Jason very badly wanted to leave. Jason very badly wanted to crawl back inside and present himself for a scrap of Fenton’s approval.
What the fuck? What the fuck!
He fled. And this time, he decided to take action. He was going get out of this sick mind trap and-
“Nothing wrong with you, it's not a curse,” Zatanna said, bored about it. “Whatever is going on is safe, sane, consensual, and none of my business.” She portalled away before Jason could argue that it did not feel sane. He was having an entirely new category of mental breakdown and when one of the Bats found out about it, he was going to be a case study.
Fine. He gritted his jaw. New plan. Maybe he could beat the curse by showing it up.
He called out of crime for the day and ignored the confused commentary in the background of his phone call– can he do that? Of course he can, he’s the friggin’ boss– and spent it furiously researching. He needed a crowning achievement. He needed to find out what was sacred in this culinary tradition, master it, and then tell the compulsion to suck on bricks.
Casserole. The answer was a casserole.
Jason scrolled through dozens of recipes, scowling fiercely. That was no good. That offended his senses. He just knew that would be bland. He-
“Do I want to make that?” Jason asked aloud, puzzled by his fixation on the old-fashioned goulash casserole recipe. Worcestershire sauce– he didn’t have that in this safe house for sure. Beef, pasta, tomatoes… yeah, okay. This was the one. For no fucking reason at all, this was the one.
He went out shopping like he usually went on life-or-death missions, full of grim purpose.
He got back and assembled his ingredients. It was not exactly a challenge to follow the recipe. Jason turned off the stove top and froze in place. “I don’t have an ancestral pan,” he said, horrified. Holy fuck. How could he dare to give it in a regular baking pan- he had to get one. Where the fuck does one acquire an ancestral casserole pan on short notice?
Panicked, he called the Manor, hands shaking as he packed the whole thing up and stuffed it in the fridge to keep it food safe until he could bake it.
Bruce answered, sounding a little choked up. “Hello, Jason, so glad-”
He hung up. He texted Tim. “I need you to steal something for me from the Manor.”
“You’re allowed in, you gigantic freak,” Tim wrote back.
Jason did some meditative breathing and resorted to outright pleading immediately. “What do you want? I will give you whatever you want. I just need an ancestral casserole pan.”
“I am NOT stealing from Alfred’s kitchen,” Tim wrote back. Which was fair. “Drake ancestral pan alright?”
Jason thought about it. It was still a family pan, sorta. By the transitive property, and that was a perfectly good property. He sent back a thumbs up, his GPS pin, and the word “Hurry.”
A while later, Tim dropped off a glass dish, loudly said “I don’t wanna know,” and slammed Jason’s door shut.
Fine. He was already moving his stuff from the now-cold frying pan into the casserole dish. It went into the oven from there. Jason spent the bake time trying to think of new coping mechanisms, because apparently smoking wasn’t up to this level of mental fuckery.
He waited out the bake time. He let it cool enough to be safe to travel with but hot enough to deliver warm. Jason grappled to Danny Fenton's apartment for the fourth time in four days, let himself in, and nearly jumped out of his boots when he realized that Fenton was in the kitchen watching him.
“Hey,” Fenton said. He was sitting on his counter in his pajamas, eating ice cream out of the bucket with a spoon. He was certifiable. Jason wanted to cross the room and kiss whatever Fenton would let him. Hands, face, feet, whatever.
Wow, weird.
“...Hey,” Jason said, way too late.
Fenton crunched down on his ice cream. “...That a casserole?” He said.
Jason nodded wordlessly, feeling very grateful that he had his hood on. He put the casserole down on the counter. He took a step backwards to flee.
Fenton pointed at Jason with the spoon, wholly unintimidated by the heavily armed man who'd broken into his house. “This is a proposal.”
Oh. Oh, motherfucking shitsocks. Jason felt weak through the knees. It was. Why was- why was he proposing??
Fenton took in his shock with a detached air. “Huh,” he said, like he'd learned something from this. “Um, it's nice of you and all. Have you been like, fixated on me for a while or- ohhh. I avenged you, didn't I?” He dropped the spoon in his ice cream carton and slapped both his palms down on the countertop. “He killed you? That sucks, man,” Fenton empathized. “I get it. I think if someone smashed the portal with a hammer I'd be down on one knee.”
Jason's brain was simply not running any program any longer. He gaped. He wasn't coherent enough to ask why Danny knew he'd been murdered by the Joker, but he had his shit together well enough to be fixated on the point.
“Um, it's not usually me being chased,” Fenton said. He made a face. “I… huh, I think I'm flattered.” He very obviously gave Jason a once-over. “I suppose this is your way of showing that you're a provider.” He heaved himself off the counter and went to investigate the casserole, sniffing and lifting the lid. “Oh, fuuuuuuck,” Danny groaned. He sniffed appreciatively. “Good demonstration of your husband material, t-b-h.”
Jason resisted the urge to tackle him to the ground.
“That's the good stuff.” Fenton closed it back up, but not before giving his ice cream spoon a considering look.
Oh, yuck. This guy was so grungly. Jason needed him badly. He shuddered.
Fenton looked at him.
Jason looked back.
“Do you wanna try moving in and see how we get on?” Fenton offered. “Take it slow, no wedding just yet.”
“Absolutely.” Jason full-body twitched with just how eager he was. “How do you feel about swans?”
“Neutral,” Danny said, after a brief moment of consideration. “I like stars, though.”
Okay, so that would be their wedding theme.
Jason only realized he'd said that aloud when Fenton's eyebrows shot up. Mortified and really wondering what was wrong with him, Jason offered a weak smile.
Fenton made a considering noise. He crossed his arms. He looked Jason up and down. “...Can you grill?” He asked. “Like, beer chicken?”
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gameboy :: p.js — two
genre: gamer! jisung x gamer! reader, college au cw: female reader, fwb to lovers, explicit smut, pervy jisung, male masturbation, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex, inexperienced jisung, cum play/breeding kink, pet names, slight humiliation kink, size kink, creampie, probably more. not proof read wc: 14.963k
[one] [two]
18+ minors do not interact!
“Is that my cardigan?”
Forget distraught, forget embarrassed, forget every possible synonym for the word humiliation. Not a single one would do what he’s feeling in this moment even a sliver of justice. Jisung is convinced his soul has left his body, that he’s passed on or that the ground has swallowed him whole. In fact, he’d prefer it that way. He has never felt more panic in his life as you quickly approach the cum-stained cardigan that he took from you, that he pleasured himself with countless times, that he still hasn’t washed…
“You dropped it in class, and I-I meant to give it back to you, you know, a-after I washed it, but then—”
As you turn the material over in your hands, taking note of and examining the stains, Jisungs breath completely cuts off. You spin slowly on your heel, facing him. There’s an unreadable expression on your face, and it takes every bit of the little pride he has left to not squeeze his eyes shut.
“Are these—” His voice is no more than a sputtering squeak, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. Fuck, you must think—”
“Jisung.”
“I didn’t mean to keep it for so long, or-or at all, really, it’s just—”
“Jisung.” He’s pretty sure you can hear him gulp. “Were you using my cardigan to get off?”
“I-”
“Were you?” You ask sternly.
He sucks in a breath, unable to look at you any longer as the faintest of yeses leaves his pouty lips.
There’s a moment of silence. A terribly long, excruciating moment of silence where Jisung can think of no way to make this up to you. He’s beyond ashamed, palms clasped together and sweating, face red with horror, inside of his cheek clamped tightly between his teeth, the whole nine miles. So much for mulling over how he’d reveal who he was to you, and so much for all the overthinking he did, all the times he planned out exactly what to say to you and how. Now, it’s all coming to an end because of this damned cardigan. He should’ve just washed it and given it back to you after the first time—no, he shouldn’t have used it at all. His mind is filled with thoughts of everything and nothing at the same time, and he’s already beginning to mourn the loss of your friendship when you say the unthinkable:
“Show me.”
Jisung works his jaw to gather some spit to swallow, since his mouth has managed to run completely dry in record time. His breathing has picked up significantly too, at your words and the way they drip from your lips with silky lust, or venom—he can’t tell which yet, since he’s not entirely sure he heard you correctly in the first place. For all he knows, they may be one in the same, and that would make him quite the textbook masochist; to be so humiliated and simultaneously, so fucking flustered.
The reddening tint on his face pales suddenly as he realizes that he has yet to respond and the seconds continue to pass. With a shaking voice, he chokes out a single word: “...What?”
There is no beat, no single pause before you speak. Similarly, there’s no hesitation in your words that spill seamlessly from your smooth lips. “Show me how you get off using my cardigan,” you repeat loudly, clearly.
There isn’t an ounce of playfulness in your voice, much less in your stature, upright and commanding. Your expression is unreadable as you stand in front of him expectantly, holding out your cardigan with its new (and not so new) decorative additions for him to grab ahold of.
With a heavy gulp, Jisung lowers his head. “You already got me to admit it. You don’t have to embarrass me any more.”
“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” You explain, taking a few cautious steps forward until you’re but a foot away from him where he sits on the edge of his bed, “If you’re feeling embarrassed, that’s not because of anything I’ve done.”
He gulps again.
“I just wanna know what you did as you…” Your index finger finds the underside of his chin, tilting it up so that he’s forced to look at you, “...thought of me.”
Oh.
Oh.
For a brief moment, he can’t construct a response, only gawking at you speechlessly as he attempts to process whether or not you really mean the words that are coming out of your mouth and their twisted implications. Then, his length gives a twitch and he fully wishes the ground would swallow him whole because, how could he have so little shame?
“Ji…” you start, and his attention is fixed on you once more. The heat in his cheeks returns as you brush your fingers through his hair, pushing all the strands back to allow you a clear view of his face. “It’s kinda pathetic, you know. Having me so close and still using my cardigan…”
His stomach churns, his dick leaks, and his hands grip the bed sheets as you use your index finger to push him back on his chest until he’s resting on his elbows against the mattress.
“If only you would’ve let me know sooner…maybe I could’ve helped you.”
“You can help me now,” the words are tumbling from his lips breathlessly, “please.” He isn’t above whimpering any more, or begging. You have him wrapped around your finger, you have for the last few months, and he’s pent up and desperate. There’s nothing he wants more than to have you sink down on his length at this very moment—and he can't believe how plausible that reality actually seems. Still, you have other plans.
“Tell me what you thought about, baby.”
He gulps, taking a leisurely glance over your body now that the situation allows, each and every thought his imagination previously concocted coming up to the tip of his tongue where it sits idly, unable to be uttered. He’s so embarrassed, so turned on, so conflicted.
You give him an encouraging nod, casting your eyes down to his lap where his length strains against the fabric.
“Can I?”
Jisung nods eagerly, and you pop off the button of his jeans, sliding down the zipper so slowly that the buzzing is the only sound either of you can hear for a second or two. The next sound that echoes around the small dorm room is a hiss from Jisung’s drooling lips, elicited when your hand brushes his hard on. He can tell your actions are nothing less than methodical when you reach for his hand. You place the black cardigan in his fist, then lay it over his lap.
Then, you spin around, bringing his desk chair over and taking a seat expectantly.
When he still doesn’t respond, horny and frozen in shock, you smirk.
“Need me to walk you through it?”
Oh, God. He could come undone just from that thought alone.
“Please.” He squeaks out.
“Take off your pants, Ji.” You instruct, leaning forward to rake your nails along his thighs, “I want you to tease yourself as you tell me what you thought about.”
”Fuck, I—” he glances at your hands that rest just inches away from his length, “I wanted you—I want you so bad.”
You scoff. “Not very obedient, are you?”
“Sorry—“ he clears his throat, hoping that of all times, his voice doesn’t betray him now. Following your directions, Jisung hurriedly slides his joggers down so that they’re resting at his knees, before speaking up, “I thought about you, what you looked like. Thought about your body in some pretty little outfit like the one you’re in now.”
“You thought about me wearing clothes?”
”I thought about you taking each piece off, one by one. Just for me,” he adds.
Perhaps, it’s a reward for his compliance, or maybe it’s a punishment; regardless, you lean back, sliding the shirt he had lent you off so that you’re sitting before him in nothing but a lacy black piece.
If he thought your breasts were spilling from your top at the party, it’s nothing compared to the way they sit in your bra, constrained by the lace and begging to be held in his greedy palms.
You hum for him to continue, and he has to remind himself he isn’t dreaming. Subconsciously, his hand has begun to squeeze his cock over his boxers and you don’t miss the way the action makes his lips part.
”I pictured you touching me, like it was your hand instead of mine.” As he mumbles this, he slides his left hand into his underwear and gives himself a generous pump, then another, a shuddering breath making his chest heave.
“Like this?”
Jisung freezes as you reach in to chase his hand, grabbing a hold of his length for yourself. Instantly, he throws himself back onto the mattress, covering his face with his palms as he moans.
“Nuh-uh, baby,” you scold him, “You have to look, otherwise you’re defeating the purpose.”
“Feels so good,”
“I know,” you coo, letting your thumb swipe along his slit. The prettiest sounds leave his lips in the form of whimpers and whines, and he forces his eyes open to watch how you pull him out from his boxers.
“Can you tell me what I did next?”
”You—fuck,” Despite his best efforts, his voice cracks, “you used your mouth.”
“My mouth, huh?” You lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his head. Some more precum leaks, coating your pouty lips, and Jisung thinks he may have actually died and gone to heaven.
It takes everything in him to keep his head up, especially when you wrap your mouth around him. Your nails dig crescent moons onto his bare thigh and Jisung croaks out a throaty groan as he feels himself poke the back of your throat. There’s a bit of drool gathering at the corner of your mouth, and he brings his thumb forward to swipe it away. With the salty taste of him
on your tongue, you blink at him appreciatively, coming up for air with a gasp.
His dick is so red and swollen that you can’t help the praise that leaves your lips. “So pretty,”
“You should see my view.”
His reciprocation only makes you more eager, and you kiss him again. Teasing him is creating a mess between your legs and the only relief is the way the friction feels when you roll your hips against his desk chair.
You hum contentedly, tongue poking out to kitten lick his flushed head. He shudders and rolls his head back for the nth time, gripping his sheets.
“Shit, you’re driving me crazy,”
You bat your lashes at him, taking him into the warmth of your mouth again. You hollow your cheeks to suck on his head, eyes fixed on his and watching for a reaction—and boy, does he give you one. His jaw goes slack, brows dipping down to hover over his half-lidded, glossed over eyes. As his thighs tremble, he watches you intently, wary of your every move you make and anticipating your next one. The sensation of your wet tongue, and the inside of your cheek, and your tightening throat that swallows around him—it’s almost all too much, and it has him using absolutely all of his self control to keep from bucking up. He wants to enjoy this, to soak this in; he needs to.
But his balls already feel so heavy and tight, and when you moan around him, he feels the vibrations in the form of tingles at the end of his spine. He can barely get a warning out quick enough before he’s releasing a load down your throat.
“Oh, fuck—I’m coming—“
You lift your head off of him with a pop, but not without sticking your tongue out to catch the spurts of white cum that dribble and shoot from his spent cock. A string of strained purrs and whimpers fall from Jisung’s ‘o’ shaped lips as he sees this, right before his vision whites out and his nerve ends go numb. His arms fall limply at his sides as the waves of pleasure drag on and through him, till he’s emptied every last drop into your waiting mouth.
You can tell from the way he’s shaking that he’s starting to become sensitive, but your hands don’t stop stroking him, nor do they let up on their pace—not until he takes them into his own and grips them over his abdomen, chest red and heaving.
His ears are ringing by the time he comes down, the only feeling being your lips that kiss at his thigh and the thumb that swipes along his knuckles. He blinks down at you in awe and mentally professes his love and devotion to you, courtesy of the insane head, though on second thought, he realizes it might just be a side effect of post-nut-stupidity.
“You’re too fucking good at that.” He lets out breathlessly, wiping some sweat from his chest.
“Thank you,” you laugh. The moment you retract your hand from his hold to swipe at the cum and drool that sticks to your chin, Jisung shoots up, cheeks reddening again at the mess he’s left on your face.
“Shit, sorry. Here.” Somewhat awkwardly, he shimmies his joggers back on after tucking himself into his boxers with a wince, then runs to the other side of his room where he gets you a pack of wipes, some tissues, and a fun sized water bottle from his mini fridge.
“Are you hungry? I’ll make you some instant noodles or—“
“I’m fine, Ji.”
“Ji? What happened to Sung?”
You ponder for a moment, then give him a little smile as you wipe away the mess of fluids on your face.
“Ji suits you more.” You decide, “I called you Sung before I knew you, like, really knew you. And now that I do, I think Ji is more fitting.”
He’s lost count of how many times he’s gone red in your presence, but he can’t help it. Not after the way the night unraveled, and certainly not when your cheek presses into his shoulder. You’re still not wearing a shirt, and the night’s makeup has started melting off around your cheeks and lips, but for whatever reason, you’ve never looked better. He’s glancing down at you warmly, lost in thought as he tries to decide which feature of yours is his favorite.
It’s a pointless battle, and a decision he gives up on quickly, because there’s no way he’d manage to decide on an answer. Your eyes that looked up at him from between his legs just moments ago are filled with the most extravagant mix of light and mischief, and every time they meet his, he thinks he could float away. Your lips are velvet, he can confirm since he’s felt them now, albeit not on his own. Nonetheless, they’re pillowy and soft and wonderous, and he can’t wait for the moment he gets to taste them.
As he watches you rub your legs together, he’s confronted by a mix of emotions: Firstly, he feels relief, because this could only mean you were worked up, and more importantly, because of him. Then, he’s instantly grieving the fact that he hadn’t asked to return the favor, and now you were needy and helpless. But no matter, because he clears his throat, mustering up a bit of boldness from the alcohol that still swirls through his system.
“Let me eat you out.”
“What?”
”Let me eat you out, please.” he tries again, and instantly grimaces at the poor attempt at rephrasing.
This is why you’re bitchless, Jisung.
You don’t seem to mind, though, letting out a light laugh as you straighten up beside him. “You don’t have to,” you whisper shyly, but you barely get the words out before he’s interrupting you.
“I want to!” He corrects quickly, and you flash him a sweet smile.
“Not today,” You can practically see the way he deflates, so you quickly explain,“I’m on my period.”
“Oh.”
“But that just means you owe me next time, right?” His eyes instantly light up at your proposition, and you can practically see the way his pupils dilate.
Oh.
“There’s gonna be a next time?”
You feign offense, “You’re already going back on your offer?”
“No!” he answers quicker than he means to, clearing his throat, “I mean, no. Definitely not. Like, really. I can’t wait. I mean I can wait, but—”
He can’t even process the moment your lips press against his because just as quickly, they’re no longer there. A peck, and then you’re mumbling “good” against his mouth and going in for seconds as his brain starts buzzing.
He acknowledges that this gesture was to shut him up, but he doesn’t care. His mind is numbed by your taste and the way your tongue glides against his teeth. If this is how you intended on getting him to be quiet, he’d never stop running his mouth. It doesn’t help that he can taste himself; that thought on its own is almost enough to give him a semi.
You pull away with a small smack between your lips and instantly, Jisung feels himself melt, leaning into your hand that comes up to caress his cheek and mess with the ends of his hair at the side of his head.
“I should head out.” You sigh, and he thinks he’s never been so disappointed after hearing just four words.
“It’s cold out.” He protests, trying not to sound too whiny.
“Am I supposed to stay here?” He knows it’s a rhetorical question, but he still has to bite back the urge to ask you to do just that. “You can just lend me a jacket. I mean, that would make us even, right?”
When you pick up the end of your cardigan as a notion, Jisung grimaces, but decides that ultimately, if it wasn’t for this cardigan, he might’ve never ended up where he is now: with your hand in his hair and the taste of his cum still lingering on your tongue.
“You want me to walk you home?”
“Please.”
And so he does, with his jacket wrapped tightly around you. He drops you off in front of your door, with an endearing wave of his hand and the plan to see you again after class on Monday set in motion.
•.¸¸☆*・゚
“This is convenient.”
“What is?” he perks up, watching as you sit criss-crossed on his bed, a stack of astronomy books piled up on your lap. You don’t look up, but gesture around.
“We can just study at yours,” you say as if it’s obvious, “we don’t have to worry about booking a lab.”
Jisung hums in agreement, gleeful at the idea that you intend to spend more and more time with him, and even more importantly, in his room.
Here, where he can only remember the way your mouth felt around him, and the countless times he’s pleasured himself to the thought of you. Here where you lay, on his bed, in a skirt that’s definitely too short for the harsh winter season, which could only mean you wore it for him. Here, where if he leans back, he can catch a glimpse of the cotton, light blue panties you’re wearing under the hem of polyester.
After he returned from walking you home, Jisung collapsed into his bed, overjoyed and buzzing with energy, and so grateful there was no class the next day—Since he was not sure he’d be able to work himself out of bed with his mind still in a haze. By the time he managed to stop kicking his feet and replaying the night in his mind, the clock had striked six and the sun was beginning to peek over the hilltops.
He can’t stop thinking about what the two of you had agreed on doing the next time you hung out, especially not when your pretty legs are bare and exposed.
It’s a shame they’re not wrapped around his head.
Nonetheless, he remains hesitant to make a move because: what if you had forgotten? Or perhaps, it was the alcohol talking that night and you really didn’t intend to do anything else with him—a totally plausible reality, as much as he hates to admit it.
Although he had gotten the go-ahead with you, and his dick is already growing at the thought of how your cunt would taste, his crippling fear of rejection still managed to choke him. A single, suggestive brush of his hand against you could make you uncomfortable, since the line between sexual and friendly intentions is so blurred, and that terrifies him.
Very quickly, however, he realizes that’s not the case.
“What do the books say about Castor and Pollux?”
“Well,” you start, “for starters, it’s more detailed than all the stuff we’ve found online.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Like, for example,” your leg unfolds from its position tucked away under you, and stretches out to rub along Jisung’s thigh. That’s how it starts.
“In the book it goes into a lot more detail about the battle which inevitably leads to Castor’s death.”
He can barely register what you’re saying, because with each word, your foot, adorned by your tantalizing knee-high socks, is rubbing shamelessly over his bulge. You watch out of the corner of your eye as his jaw goes slack, his gaze tracking every move you make over his lap. In fact, the only time he glances up at all, is when you lay back against his pillows and prop your legs apart, granting him a clear view of your panties that now showcase a wet mark.
Jisung sucks in a breath, “Y/n, I think we should take a break–“
“Did you know that Pollux gave up half of his immortality so that Castor could live?”
To put it bluntly, Jisung really couldn’t fucking care less.
“Mhm?” He hums, except it’s practically a moan, because now your legs are fully spread, and your leg is restless, rubbing against him with no remorse. He’s fully hard, so hard that it’s beginning to hurt, but he feels stuck in place.
“Fuck, we need to stop, I can’t focus if—“
“We should add some of this stuff to the presentation.”
You’re playing some kind of game, and he’s happy to take the bait. Your eyes that hover over the top of the book flicker up to his for a split second, glossed over and sultry, revealing just how needy you actually are.
And so, he breaks.
Your leg is flung off his lap as he leans forward, settling his shoulders between your knees and attaching his lips to the plush of your thigh. Wet kisses make a path toward your core before he turns to give some attention to your other leg. It’s indescribable, how soft your skin is under his puckering mouth and how riveting the view of you is from this angle.
You’ve moved the book a bit to the side, giving him full visibility so he can watch the way your eyes roll back for a split second when his big hands push your skirt out of the way, the material bunching up at the small of your waist.
Despite the fact that you’re clutching the pages of the book so tightly that your hands are turning white, you maintain your composure. “When Castor was revived, Zeus turned them into the constellation. Then–“
He tunes you out, squeezing your skin like a stress ball as a newfound determination manifests. You’re only acting unphased—the growing wet patch on your covered folds giving you away—and he’s dead set on breaking your facade.
As bad as he wants to taste you, he won’t; not yet. Not until you’re writhing and shaking and desperate to be touched.
He keeps working his kisses up to your center, then pulling away, alternating between using his teeth to nibble and tug at the more giving parts of your skin, and licking at the firm areas, like your hip bones and below your navel.
Him nuzzling his nose into you tickles, especially since you can feel his breaths as they grow more uneven. Your view isn’t so bad either; you can make out the way his hips rut into the mattress and his hair flops as he moves to kiss across your skin. You only dare to steal a glance when you know he’s not looking; otherwise, you’re reading off the page in the steadiest voice you can muster, though your patience is slowly withering.
When he finally gives any attention to your core, it’s over the panties, nose digging into your clit and breathing you in. His next breath is full of you, and all he can feel is your thighs as they slightly tighten around his head.
The slight friction is ruinous, and it almost manages to make you stammer over your words, but Jisung interrupts you with a groan and misses the way you stifle a whine.
“Put that book down so I can make you come on my face, baby.”
“Y-you’re distracting me. We’re supposed to be studying–“ you argue, but the book is already hanging loose in your hands, moments away from being discarded to meet the rest of the pile. Jisung catches this, and he doesn’t entertain your resistance any longer. You’re about to snap, he can feel it—he can practically taste it.
And so, his tongue pokes out to lick a long stripe from your entrance, up to your clit. His pace is menacingly slow, he still hasn’t moved your panties aside, but somehow, the action rips a moan from your throat and causes your hips to buck.
Humming in satisfaction, he does it again, and the small whimper you let out the second time around almost makes him bust in his pants.
“Ji..”
With his arms hooked under your thighs and his palms situated over your abdomen, he hums in acknowledgement of his nickname and presses his face further into you. Your heels dig into his shoulders to tug him closer, but he tuts, flickering his narrowed eyes up to you.
“Is something wrong?” His tone is teasing and cheeky, and you take your lip between your teeth.
“No–I just,” you huff out, reddening cheeks filling with air, “please–“
“Please?” The single syllable is dragged out, encouraging you to elaborate, but all you can manage is another helpless moan.
“Just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you, angel.”
“I–please, I need your mouth or–or your fingers. whichever,” you pant, “fuck, Jisung, I don’t care–just touch me—“
You don’t have time to finish your babbled plea before he hooks a finger on the material of your panties and pushes them aside. His tongue darts out to lick your clit, and he instantly, both you and Jisung moan in fervor. When he dips the muscle into your entrance, your essence coats his taste buds, and he decides then and there that he’s never tasted anything better.
He’s also never seen anything better than the sight of you arching your back and digging your hips down to push your aching folds closer to his mouth. And it works, because he gets a mouthful of you and he begins to suck on your bud contentedly.
Forget reading about the constellations, you were practically seeing them.
They swirled over your eyelids when you closed them and swam around the room when you managed to peek them open for a glimpse of the boy laying between your legs. Any time his eyes flicker up to yours, the pleasure peaks, and you have to clasp a hand over your mouth to contain yourself.
He hopes you can’t tell that he’s never done this before; by the looks of it, you have no idea. Your moans are growing louder by the second, with every swipe of his tongue against your slit, and your fingers have long forgotten the book you were clutching earlier. Now, they tug on Jisung’s hair, scratching at his scalp affectionately and pulling on the locks at the root anytime he does anything a tad too well.
He laps you up again and again, replicating everything he had ever seen work in porn videos, until your toes are curling and you seem to be running out of air. Broken cries fall from your parted lips, with an occasional call of his name that has him rutting into the bed at a pace that almost provides as much friction as he desperately needs.
“So pretty like this,” he manages to sputter into your core, and you instantly shiver, pressing him closer to you with your heels—if that’s even possible.
You breathe out a series of phrases, all incomplete and taking after a whine more than anything else: “I’m gonna–“ and “Feels good–“ and “Keep going–“.
No part of your brain is composed enough to form an actual sentence while Jisung’s tongue buries itself into your hole, but he seems to get the memo. He devours you like he’s famished, and when his hands reach up to grab ahold of your breasts, your efforts to contain your moans become obsolete.
Your orgasm crashes into you as he returns his attention to your clit. His fingers busy themselves pinching one of your nipples and his deep hums vibrate at your core, and you find your vision going dark until there’s no choice left but to squeeze your eyes tight and reconcile with the ecstasy that has no means of stopping. For a second, your legs begin to shake, but as the feeling of coming from his swirling tongue becomes overwhelming, they fall limp, held up only by Jisung’s shoulders.
And he doesn’t stop, until he’s completely sure that you’ve taken everything and have started to come down. His face is flushed red from the effort and a bit of sweat shines like gloss on his forehead, when you’re finally able to open your eyes and take him in.
Secretly, he’s both surprised and proud of himself that he’s managed to make you come—for some reason, he wasn’t as nervous as he thought he might be under this pressure—mostly put on him by him. If he couldn’t manage to give you an orgasm, he’s not sure how he would have faced you again.
“Holy shit.” Your voice is thinned out and dreamy, and you don’t hesitate to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him up to you for a kiss. He moans into your mouth, slick covered lips disappearing between yours as you make out with him.
“Damn,” You mumble as you break apart, “You eat out all your friends like that?”
His eyes that were shut dreamily flutter open at once, and his brows pinch in slight confusion that he refuses to address for the moment.
Technically, you aren’t wrong.
Technically, the two of you are friends.
But that title is the very last one he expected to and wanted to hear right about now.
He can’t spare it another thought, because just quickly as the words leave your mouth, he’s lost again in your kiss. The feeling of your soft lips is so invigorating that it makes him salivate, and as he situates himself properly between your thighs. A few brushes of your wet cunt against his bulge and he’s releasing into his boxers with a groan, emptying himself as you continue to taste his spit and your release on his tongue, hips grinding down to stimulate him further.
He comes hard, considering the compromising position he’s in, but just the idea of his member being so close to your pussy, especially after he’s tasted it, is enough to tip the scale.
“Mmph..”
“Feel good?”
“So good,” he nods, rutting until every last drop has been expelled and his tip is too sensitive to touch. Then, he collapses into your arms that wrap around him, palms smoothing through his hair and down his spine.
“Gimme a kiss,” You plead softly, and he looks up at you, peeking through the strands of hair that cover his eyes until your fingers move them away. He happily puckers his lips to place a gentle peck on yours. He’s almost smiling into it, until then and there, in the back of his mind, he thinks back to your choice of words. Do friends kiss like this? He supposes they do, in a talking stage of sorts. When the lines between friendship and more have been blurred, as they have here, and some sort of romance is blossoming, friends can kiss.
Typically, though, that blur is discussed and some boundary is set. Considering his dick has been in your mouth and he just gave you head until you and him both came from the effort, he figures some of those rules don’t necessarily apply here.
He decides he’d rather not overthink. It got him nowhere when he wanted to come up to you before, and now that he has you, he’s sure it won’t help him here, either.
So instead, he melts into your touch and relishes you until the moment you pull away and remind him of the half-written notes on his laptop that lie discarded since long ago. This gets him to regain focus for the rest of the night, and the two of you manage to get a decent amount of work done without ripping off each other’s clothes. He’s only slightly regretful of that, but the soft look of content on your face is enough.
•.¸¸☆*・゚
The project had gone off without a hitch. It seemed that the trick to being productive when it came to you two, was releasing some pent up sexual tension; then, your buzzing neurons would reward your efforts and get to work—like the time you met up at the library, just three days later.
Barely fifteen minutes of little-to-no productivity had passed before you found yourself bored and pressing your thighs together to give your slick-covered pussy any bit of relief. And Jisung, hyper aware of you as always, noticed. It took one lustful glance from him and you were crawling onto his lap, leaning into his side, and nibbling softly on the lobe of his ear until his dick was so hard it almost hurt. His hands flew to your hips, pinning you down until your cunt was rubbing against him. He had barely half a mind to keep you quiet, because the computer labs had no lock on the doors. With his hand clasped over your mouth, you rolled yourself against him until both of you came in your clothes, eyes rolling back and chests heaving with exasperation. That day, you wrote over three thousand words on the constellation—talk about post-nut-clarity.
The powerpoint that came hand in hand with the essay was an idea that came to be at your apartment. He found out Karina was your roommate during his visit, and she had invited Heesung over so they could work on their assignment, too. It wasn’t long before Jisung noticed your dissipating patience, and the overwhelming relief on your face when the two of them announced they would go grab coffee as a pick me up. You pulled him into a kiss almost instantly, discarding your notes and forgetting about the due date that was closing in.
All that mattered in that moment was being close enough to Jisung to breathe him in, and who was he to complain? He wanted nothing more than that sweet bliss—sharing your air, tasting your spit, squeezing your skin, making you come.
He was only denied the last of the four today, because as his tongue sunk into your hole and lapped you up, the door clicked and both of you rushed to straighten out your appearances. Karina and Heesung didn’t seem to suspect anything, only mildly reminded the two of you were in the room after finishing their own sweet interaction.
Karina gasped when the coffee she sipped burned her lip, and Heesung popped off the plastic cap of the cup, blowing the steam away at once and scolding her for not being careful. The scolding was more endearing than anything, and Jisung found himself being jealous at the way Karina’s pupils practically became hearts, gawking at Heesung as he cooled down her drink before returning it and giving her a kiss on the forehead. It became clear as he watched them that you had never really looked at him that way, though he tried not to think too hard about it or the stinging in his heart would get worse.
That’s when he suggests the powerpoint, which both of you finished that very same night. As a reward for his ingenious contributions, you dragged him out into the hallway to “say goodbye” later that evening and palmed him until he ruined his third pair of underpants this week.
Professor Hwang seemed to be more than pleased with your finished product, because when she spontaneously announced the scores for the project would be curved, the two of you got the highest marks in the class—and this called for celebration.
You had to attend your Literature class, but promised to come by his place later, which left Jisung just enough time to do the absolute bare minimum: clean his room, take a shower, make a playlist.
After his shower, the boy spent the better part of an hour obsessing over which cologne to put on, or if any of the three he owned were even pleasant enough for you, at which point, Mark knocked on his door with complaints about how the bathroom on his side of the hall got flooded.
“What do you want me to do about that?”
“You’re an RA, no?”
“Yeah, but like, RA’s don’t fix toilets, you know?” Jisung shrugs.
“Dude–then, at least let me use your bathroom—”
“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll call—“
“Hey!”
Your sweet voice calls out from the end of the hall, making both Jisung’s and Mark’s heads turn your way. You look ravishing today, a huge grin plastered on your face and the newest book you’d be analyzing in your Lit class clutched in your arm. Your hands hold two coffee cups, and you stride down the hall to meet the two boys where they stand.
Quickly, you place a kiss on Jisung’s cheek, direct and short but very bright “hello!” at Mark, then step inside his room with a decisive and upbeat pep on your step. Jisung knows why, of course, but as he turns back to Mark’s dumbfounded, and quite shocked expression, the smile on his lips instantly falls.
“Was that–“
In less than a second, Jisung closes the door to his room and grabs the boy beside him, dragging him down the hall and out of earshot from you as he turns back to glance suspiciously at the wall you stand behind.
Jisung gulps, holding him still, “Mark–“ he knows what’s coming, but even then, he can’t mask the dread on his face.
“It was, wasn’t it? Jaehyun’s ex?” Mark’s eyes are so large, they look like they might roll out of his head.
“Yes, but–“
“Are you crazy?”
“Keep your voice down!” Jisung scolds, but Mark just lands a hit on his shoulder, disbelief written over his features.
“What the hell are you doing with Jaehyun’s ex? You realize he’ll kill you if he finds out, right?”
With a nervous reluctance to his tone, Jisung begrudgingly sighs out, “We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, cause you and I kiss all the time when we say hello.”
“Okay, we’re a little bit more than friends, but–why does it matter?”
“It matters because you don’t mess with your friend’s ex, dude..” At this, Jisung’s lips press tightly together. He can’t think of anything to say or argue in an attempt to defend himself, so Mark continues, “If it was Chaewon? Man, I don’t think I could even look at you again.”
“He won’t find out.”
“Dude, not the point!”
“I know, I know. I’m just–“ I’m in love with her “–nevermind. you don’t get it.”
“No, I don’t.” He echoes, “Figure it out before Jaehyun puts the pieces together.”
“You don’t think there’s even a slight chance he’ll understand?”
“If i’m being honest with you man…” He pauses, and the hope in Jisung’s eyes dwindles as Mark casts his own eyes away and sighs. “No. I don’t.”
Mark gives him one last look before striding past him and to the bathroom.
Meanwhile, Jisung drags his feet back to his room, only slightly mulling over Mark’s words and the likelihood of their truth—but the guilt dissipates the moment his hand twists the doorknob and his eyes land on you. You’re sitting on his bed, evidently anticipating his return because you aren’t on your phone, or with your nose in your book.
You’re sitting up, hair tucked behind your ear, eyes wide and looking his way as he closes the door behind him and moves closer.
Perhaps, it’s the overwhelming lust or like or even love that he feels every time he looks at you—or maybe it’s a bit of his frustration from the devastating inconvenience of your affiliation with Jaehyun, he’s not sure—but he finds himself taking long strides to close the space between you and him.
“I got you coffee–“
You don’t manage to finish your sentence before his lips are on yours, swallowing down the surprised whimper you let out before reciprocating his affection. In less than a second, he’s crawled onto the bed with you, hands holding you wherever they can.
Your thighs grow sticky almost instantly as he draws moan after moan from you, rushing to peel off every last article of clothing that obstructs him from feeling your warm skin. It’s not long before you become as ravenous as him, only breaking your kiss to pull your shirts over your heads or readjust so he can crawl between your legs as you lay back.
When he finally has expended every last bit of oxygen in his lungs, he moves back to take you in, finding that, for the first time, you’re fully naked before him—and god, are you a sight for sore eyes.
He can see your chest heaving, the action slightly bouncing your curved breasts that sit prettily, spread from laying on your back. Your nipples are eager and perked up, inviting his tongue to run over them, which he takes a mental note to do in just a second. Your smooth stomach, tightened in anticipation, leads down to your messy wet folds, and your thighs, soft under his big hands, tremble as you grow shy and unsure under his gaze.
“Ji? W-what’s wrong?”
“Literally, and I mean this with every fiber in my being, baby—nothing is wrong. You are so,” he leans down to kiss you softly, completely unlike the kisses you shared earlier, “so,” he travels down your chest, “so beautiful.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, baby. God,” he huffs, “I need you so fucking bad.”
“So have me then.”
His movements stutter for a moment, and he snaps his head up to look at you. “You mean?”
“Yes.” You nod, “Please.”
When your fingertips dip into his boxers, he nuzzles his face into your neck and sighs out dreamily, allowing you to pull his fully hardened length out.
“I want you so bad, Ji… Need to feel you inside of me.”
Your words send shivers down his spine so intense that he practically shudders, and he knows for a fact you can feel his dick twitching incessantly your palm.
Jisung clears his throat, leaving back to look into your eyes.
“Let me eat you out first, yeah?”
“It’s fine, I just-“
“Please,” he basically whimpers, “I love tasting you so much,”
“Fuck.”
Your legs spread expectantly for him, but he takes his time, stopping at your lips again as if he can never feel them enough. Then, he makes his way down, licking and nibbling, pausing to lap at your nipples as he so desperately wanted to do earlier.
“Jisung, holy shit–“
“So pretty, so good for me always.”
“Baby–“ you gasp out as his lips come off your tit with a pop, and in an effort to quiet yourself down a bit, you take his index and middle finger into your mouth, swirling your tongue around them and muffling your cries of pleasure. At this, he has to peel your moving hand off his cock at the risk of coming into it.
He can feel how the layer of sweat coating bus skin, and he can feel the way it’s sticking to yours, slick and wet.
“Your pussy is so perfect,” he purrs, lodging his shoulders under your thighs and settling down between your legs where he belongs.
He dives right in, molding his mouth over you in a way that has you arching your back and squeezing your eyes shut. He can feel your cunt pulsing under his tongue, all wet and gushing with your arousal. It’s dizzying, your taste, your smell, you, all of it has his mind spinning and him melting further into you.
You can hear the sounds of him devouring you, as well as the noises he’s muttering into you, indiscernible strings of praises that have you on the brink of undoing.
The moment his tongue slips in you, you pull his fingers from your mouth, reaching your own towards his hair. “How are you so good at that? Please, Ji, I’m so close–“
“Please,,” he echoes desperately, “come for me.”
That, and his finger slipping into you has you grinding down onto his tongue and hands, dissolving into your orgasm that he so willingly paints out for you, using every little tactic he’s noticed you like so far, like curving his finger to hit your sweet spot, or sucking on your clit until you’ve got tears prickling at your eyes.
You come on his face, writing and shaking and gripping his locks for dear life as bliss bubbles through your nerves. You’re soaked and breathless by the time he lets up.
“So good,” he reminds you, making his way back up to your lips so you can find out for yourself just how intoxicating you are.
Your hands reach for his hips and tug him closer, and the two of you yelp into the kiss as his length brushes your still sensitive folds. Jisung can no longer think straight, especially with the way your glossy eyes blink up at him sweetly. The realization of what’s to come dawns on him at once. He doesn’t intend to tell you you’re his first, because that’s pathetic and embarrassing, but nonetheless, he can’t hide the nerves.
“Are you sure you still want to… you know? We don’t have to if you’re not comfortable. We can do something else, yeah? I’ll just take care of myself really quick in the bathroom and we’ll–“
“Ji, baby.” he gawks at you. You smile and brush a few hairs back from his eyes, not even minding when your hand brushes against his slightly sweaty hairline. “Who’s the talkative one now?” His cheeks glow at your attempt to lighten the mood, and you kiss them generously.
“I’m so sure I want this,” you start, “I’ve never wanted anyone this much.”
And that makes his heart beat so fast and swell up so much inside his chest, he thinks it may just burst from within his ribs and land right in your hands where it belongs.
His head bobs in a soft nod, and he swallows down the spit in his drying mouth. Between your bodies, one of his hands spreads your legs a bit while the other guides him towards your slick. He rubs his head between you, lathering his dick up in your cum, eyes never leaving yours in fear of missing the way your jaw goes slack at the sensation.
“Okay,” he nods again, “Then I’m all yours.”
“Good.” You whisper back.
“Let me know if you need me to stop, yeah?”
Unlike some of his friends, Jisung has never been addicted to porn—addicted to masturbating? Maybe, but that was partly due to his addiction to you. For the first time ever, he realizes how useful a porn addiction might have been right about now, even if it did build unrealistic expectations. Simply because then, he’d know what to do in this situation. The expectation part doesn’t concern him, you’ve already surpassed all of his anyway; the only thing eating him up is whether or not he’ll be able to please you.
For his own sake, he gulps down his nerves and focuses on the pretty girl lying before him, with watering eyes and drooling lips who’s shaking in anticipation each time his head teases her entrance. He’s twitching in his own hand, clumsily bumping into your clit, but you seem to like that, reaching for and squeezing his arms with every accidental brushing.
And finally, when he sinks into your sopping walls, it’s like a breath of fresh air.
Your hands slither around his shoulders, willing him closer until the two of you are chest to chest, and his hips push in far enough to bottom out within you.
“Oh, my god..” The words leave you in a whisper, cock stuffing you full and balls pressing against your ass. The stretch is notable, though not painful, and given that you already came once today, you can’t help the way you clench down on him, making him hiss.
“You okay?”
“Yes.” you nod, leaning up for a kiss.
Slowly, he starts rocking his hips, reminding himself to slide almost all the way out of you before thrusting back in. That’s what he’s supposed to do, or so he thinks. Your moans start as little hiccups, soft and airy, but as his rhythm continues, they get louder and whinier, and so he matches their pace and enthusiasm, speeding up in tandem.
After leaving a wet kiss on your neck, Jisung sits up and looks down at where the two of you meet, pushing your knees up until they’re together on your chest. Every time he glances up at you through his brows, you squeeze him instinctively, and the new position just amplifies the pleasure for both of you.
Each graze of his fingers on your face or boob or arm, the weight of his hands keeping your thighs still, it’s all so satisfying that you feel your inevitable orgasm well on its way. It only takes a few more seconds of him fucking your soft, warm walls, before his fingers find your clit and start rubbing it. Instantly, your head is thrown back and you’re calling out for him in pleasure.
As you come again, Jisung has a moment to take you in.
You’ve infiltrated all of his senses: he can see you, hazed and fucked out and staring back at him with an infatuated look—the same one he saw on Karina’s face when she looked at Heeseung, and the very one he’s been longing to see on you. He can smell sex in the air—taste you still on his tongue from when it was in you just moments ago. He can hear your loud moans and pleas, every syllable of his name as it slips from your lips. And finally, finally he can feel you, stretching out around him and sucking him in deeper still with every thrust. You’re gushing so much that your thighs and his are covered, and his sheets have grown darker in the spot below where you’re connected.
“Ji, please–“
“Please what, baby? Just tell me and it’s yours.”
“Fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop, please.”
He wouldn’t dream of it.
Each drag of his cock through you solicits a new wave of pleasure, and you’re coming so hard that you’ve gotta grip his arms to keep from floating. Your nails dig into his skin and Jisung moans, pounding into you faster and keeping his fingers at work until he’s sure you’ve begun to come down. Only then does he slow with you, leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss.
“Good?”
Through tear-brimmed eyes, you blink up at him, feeling drunk. “ So good.”
He hums into your mouth when your tongue finds his, fingertips losing themselves in your hair.
“Mm, lay down,” you start, slurring, though he catches every syllable you utter with ease, “I wanna ride you.”
His eyes snap open to find you giggling at his reaction, and he doesn’t realize his mouth is hanging wide until your gentle palm reaches up to hold his chin and close it.
“Is that something you’d like?” your thumb tugs on his bottom lip, and he presses a kiss to it before answering quickly.
“God, yes.”
You laugh again, giving him a kiss for his endearing reaction. When he doesn’t budge, still slightly in shock, you prop yourself up on your elbows, pushing him back and guiding him to lay down where you were just a second ago.
The moment your plush thighs settle on either side of his, his hands go limp by his sides. It takes your patient ones to grab ahold of them and place them on your body, one by your waist, the other holding your boob. You keep your hand over his and squeeze, encouraging him to the same, and he does, letting his fingers swipe over and play with your pretty buds.
“You just dicked me down and suddenly, you’re nervous?” You hum, swirling your hips over his length.
“I don’t think I’ll ever stop being nervous around you.”
“Baby…” You coo, wiping some of the sweat from his cheeks, “You think I don’t get nervous around you? Every time I know I’m gonna see you… You should see how long it takes me to pick what to wear.”
“I mean, you look perfectly fine like this, too.”
“I’m sure you think so.”
Jisung starts to laugh, but it turns into a hiss as you sink yourself down on him. The feeling, he realizes rather quickly, is absolutely incomparable to anything he’s even felt or anything he might ever feel. He’s balls deep, completely hugged by your gummy, wet walls. Your skin pressing against his and your weight on his lap feels so, so right.
“You feel amazing,” he whispers, and you ready yourself to move but he stills you, “God, hold on. Please, just—“
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing—It’s just,” he pauses, looking anywhere but at your eyes. “I-If you move right now, I might...”
“Oh.” The skin on your cheeks goes hot. Part of you wants to teasingly roll your hips anyway, but the furrow in his brow tells you he’s not bluffing and he really will blow his load if you so much as clench. So, you give him a few seconds, leaning down to kiss his chest until he bucks up into you as a go-ahead to start moving.
“So good,” he repeats, and you moan back a similar phrase. Each time you take the entirety of his length, his tip kisses the smooth spot inside you and you can’t help but mewl into his neck, giving him back every babbled praise he manages to spew to you though his tightened voice. You start bouncing yourself on him, with your hands resting on his chest for balance, until you feel the pit in your stomach begin to turmoil again.
”I’m really close,” he warns you.
“Me too..”
“Shit, I have to pull out or I’m gonna-“
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill.” You whisper, and his eyes widen, “I want you to come for me.”
He can barely mold his mouth to form the beginning of an “Are you sure?” before your walls squeeze him and he’s spilling himself inside of you. He lets out a guttural groan as he does so, clutching your hands in his as you milk him for all that he’s worth. The sounds you’re making are absolutely delectable and the grip your pussy as on him makes his ears start ringing so bad, he’s convinced he might pass out.
“Ji, I’m-“ his release triggers your third one of the night, just as you lose yourself in his arms and in the whimpers he’s releasing as he grows more sensitive. You can see his eyes through a sliver, finding them to be dazed and adoring and admiring all that is you.
So you grind against him until you’re both left sweaty and spent, holding on to each other until the pounding in your chests simmers down.
You naturally collapse on top of him, face near his neck with his hand petting the back of your head. For a few minutes, the two of you stay like this: breathing in each other’s scent and basking in the aftermath of what happened. Both of you are sticky with sweat and cum and spit, but neither seem to mind for the time being.
It’s only when your ringtone blasts through the room that either of you move to get up. With a heavy sigh, you pull yourself off of him and waddle over to your bag to find the disturbance.
“It’s Karina.” You announce, and Jisung lays back down with his arm tucked behind his head, admiring your naked body pacing around his room before you swipe to answer and tuck your phone between your cheek and your shoulder, reaching for his shirt to slip it on.
“Hey… Tonight? Oh, you mean like right now? Uh… Yeah, it should be fine.” You glance over at him to find him raising a brow, “Oh… Oh. Okay, I see. Yeah, no worries. Tell me about it after, yeah? Alright! Bye!” Your shorts are tugged on as you spin around to face him.
“Um…” You start, and Jisung sits up instantly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just…” The corner of the mattress dips as you take a seat, “Heesung is over.”
“Oh.”
“And he and Karina are gonna…”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
He remembers the layout of your room, two beds in one open space. It’s a standard room, like Mark and Chenle’s or Jeno and Jaemin’s. The only reason he scored a solo dorm is because he’s an RA for the floor, a blessing at times like this, where he can confidently say:
“You can stay the night here.” When you don’t answer, he clears his throat. “You know, since they’re gonna…”
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course,” his hand reaches for yours, pulling you towards him. “We can watch a movie, or study…”
“Or…” you tease, “we can do something else…” The moment you climb on his lap, it clicks for him—what you mean. And when your lips find themselves on his neck, a shudder goes down his spine.
“Thank you, though.” You smile and he looks down at you and quirks a brow.
“For what?”
“For letting me stay over. You’re such a good friend.”
It’s instant—his stomach dropping before the last syllable leaves your mouth. His hands are on your shoulders to push you away and his stomach is tied into a dozen knots as he blinks, repeating what you’ve just said over and over in his mind. For a moment, he thinks his lunch is starting to come back up, too, and he’s sure he’s gone drastically pale.
You’re absolutely oblivious and confused as you meet his eyes. “What–”
“You don’t mean that.” He insists.
“Ji–”
“You can’t mean that. Right?” When you tilt your head, still lost, he purses his lips, and this time, his question comes out with much less assurance. “Right?”
The disorganized sheets are shoved off of him in an instant, and he’s up and tugging his sweats back on, spinning around as to not look at you for a second. His heart, which he holds his hand over, starts beating faster.
“Y/N. Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I–You are a good friend. I do mean that. But–why– I’m so lost, Ji. What’s wrong? Was it something I said?”
‘Was it something I said?’
He hates this. He hates everything about this. The look on your face, the nerves in your voice, the way your hand is shakily reaching for him—there’s nothing he wants more than to forget how that word feels each and every time you utter it. He wishes he could brush it off, and crawl back under the sheets with you and mess around until the sun rises the next day.
But it stings, and it burns, and it fucking aches that you insist he’s nothing more than a friend, reminding him for the second time now that he can’t have you as his—and that’s the only way he intends to have you, for the sake of his poor heart that beats only for you.
He didn’t hallucinate. You looked at him the same way Karina looked at Heeseung that night; he saw it, there was something there.
He thinks back to what Mark said earlier. Friends don’t kiss—and they certainly don’t fuck the way you two just did. If he could just get you to admit that…
“Do you do that with all your “friends?””
“No, of course not!” You shake your head quickly, and he can see the offense flash across your features at his implication. Still, he insists.
“Then what are we?”
He sees you physically deflate, but he retains his composure. “Ji…”
“You’re telling me that after all that, and after everything we’ve done this semester–”
“Jisung–“
“–and after all the time we’ve known each other.. You don’t see me as anything more than a friend?”
“I…” That’s it. That’s the only word you manage to mutter, because your thoughts are tangled together and working against you to, for the first time since he’s known you, render you speechless. “I don’t know what to say.”
A pricking sensation in his eyes commands him to turn around, because simply put: he refuses to cry in front of you.
“I like you. A lot, in case it wasn’t painfully obvious.”
“I-I like you, too but—“
“But you still like Jaehyun?” Truthfully speaking, he doesn’t even know where that came from. But the words have already left him, and even though he can’t see your face, the fact that you’re hesitating tells him all he needs to know.
“It’s not like that,” you start after a pause, “It’s just—how do you even know about that?”
“It doesn’t matter. I-“ He takes a shaky breath, “Fuck.”
“Jisung…” You mumble cautiously, quietly, too nervous to approach him any more.
“I like you,” he repeats, “so, so bad.”
“I do, too.” You whisper. It’s no use, and you discover that quickly—the moment you see him tear his doubtful eyes away from you and towards the ground.
“Stay the night here. I’ll be down the hall.”
He grabs a random shirt from his drawer, since you’re occupying his, and puts it on as he makes his way towards the door.
“If you need anything,” he adds quietly, “just message me.”
He steps into the hall and shuts the door behind him as you call out his name, storming down the ugly carpet that looks uglier than usual today, until he’s reached Mark and Chenle’s.
He hesitates before knocking as he realizes the tears he’s been fighting to hold back really will start rolling any second. So he passes their door angrily and barges into the bathroom.
He’s careful not to step on the filthy water that covers most of the floor, verifying Mark’s claim that the bathroom had indeed flooded, and navigating the dry patches with his slides to get to the sink. He turns on the faucet and washes his hands, then cups them and brings a decent amount of water to splash some on his face. It washes away the stray tears that managed to escape, and he repeats the process over until his eyes are no longer bloodshot, but not without a few broken sobs escaping his parted lips.
Whether it’s hurt, frustration, or both, he doesn’t know, but before he knows it, he’s fully crying over you, until his throat is dry along with his eyes.
After a lazy once over in the mirror, no longer regarding his looks, he treads carefully back to the exit and toward his friends’ room.
He can hear them through the wall as he gets closer, tapping his knuckles on the wood. They sound like they’re watching the play-offs. He’s not sure, but anyway, he’s never cared about basketball, and he can’t bring himself to care about much now.
It takes him knocking one more time before one of them hears him, and the door opens.
“Oh, it’s you. Hey did you call about the toilet—“
“You look like shit.” Chenle interjects. Jisung just rolls his eyes and walks past them.
“Can I stay the night?”
The two boys look at each other, then back at him.
“Uh… Not that I don’t wanna have a slumber party but… Why?”
“Y/N is staying in my room.”
At the same time, both of their eyes bulge.
“Oh.” Mark says, but Chenle quickly shakes his head.
“You have a girl in your room? Like a real one? No way.” At this, no one cracks a smile, “Why do I know that name, though… Y/N… Y/N…”
”I thought it was going well, though,” Mark inquires, “How did you get kicked out of your own room?”
”Y/N…. Y/N who…”
“We fucked and I asked her what we were.” Jisung regretfully admits. He had no time to mull over how much detail he wanted to share, but confiding in his older friends sounded more helpful than not.
At this, Mark doesn’t reply, but the way he purses his lips is more than enough for Jisung to let his head swing down and he catches it in his hands.
”Y/N… Wait.” Having reached an epiphany, Chenle shoots up from the couch, “Y/N as in Jaehyun and Y/N?”
“I don’t get it…” Jisung sighs, muttering mostly to himself, “everything was fine.”
“So what went wrong?” It takes him a second to ponder Mark’s question, but the answer sits at the tip of his tongue. The hesitation in actually speaking it out loud—a sliver of embarrassment that shows in the way he stutters. “She k-kept calling me a friend and well, I don’t know. I just… ran my mouth.”
“If she made it clear you guys were friends then why would you ask her if y’all are a thing?” Chenle wonders, raising a curious brow. Mark gives him a shove.
”Because,” he starts, “We’ve been hooking up almost the whole semester. And not just hooking up. Talking all night, flirting… meeting up between and after classes.”
“Yeah, that’s not friendly.” Mark agrees.
“She does like you.” Chenle says with some level of astonishment, earning another shove from Mark and a gesturing glare that alerts him of Jisung’s obvious dishevelment.
“Chenle’s right.” Mark says, in a more gentle way, “She wouldn’t do any of… that if she didn’t. Maybe,” he puts a hand on Jisung’s shoulder and the younger boy looks up through wet eyelashes, “she was just a little overwhelmed by your confession.”
“She called me a friend.” He shakes his head, “I just had sex for the first time and she called me a friend.”
Mark quickly interjects before Chenle considers saying something insensitive, “Okay. But you have to remember: her and Jaehyun dated for two and a half years—“
“That’s not what I wanna hear, man.”
“—And,” Mark continues, “they only broke up earlier this year. You and her are new, and she’s probably just getting used to that. Besides, you only confessed after you guys… hooked up—nothing was established before.”
“If you liked her, you should have asked her out first.” Chenle sighs..
“So this is all going wrong because I didn’t do things by the book?”
“Yes.”
“No.” Mark glares at Chenle who at this point, gives up, leaning back to watch his game in silence. “I think if you would’ve made your feelings clear before, she might have reciprocated. She assumed you two were still friends because… you technically are still friends. Maybe she didn’t want to assume and have you freak out or something.”
At this, Jisung nods slowly, processing Mark’s words.
“What are you studying?” Chenle pokes the older boy.
“Engineering. Why? Also, we’ve lived together for two years and you don’t know my-“
“Drop out. Become a relationship counselor.” Chenle pats him on the back. Mark quickly shoves him off and turns to Jisung again who has shot out of his seat with a newfound confidence.
“I’m gonna go and apologize.” He decides. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Chenle replies without looking up from the screen. Mark just sighs.
“Yeah. Let me know how it goes.”
When Jisung knocks on the door to his room, he hears no answer. When he pushes the door open, he finds his room empty, with you and your things nowhere to be found.
The first thing he feels is worry, because where did you go? Not back to yours, because Heesung was there. He knows you have other friends, but he doesn’t know if you’re close enough to any of them to stay the night at theirs, and it was almost 11PM at this point.
He considers calling you, but if you didn’t answer, he would be shattered, more than he is already at the thought that you might have been hurt by what he said. So he settles into his bed that still smells like sex and you, and curls up on his side, legs restlessly shifting in a failed effort to get comfortable.
He spends the better part of an hour planning what to say to you tomorrow after class, or the next day, or whatever day you decide to give him a chance to explain himself and apologize for some of the things he said. Eventually, he drifts off, clutching to his chest the pillow where your head laid.
•.¸¸☆*・゚
Absent.
You were absent.
You have never been absent from astronomy before. Your seat besides his is empty, and you’re absent from class.
All morning, Jisung went over his speech as he paced around his room. He changed his sheets after finding some cum stains on it as he recited his confession, his apology. He planned how he would explain his mistake and how he would relay his understanding for your confusion.
He went over scenarios in his head on how to possibly get you back, because truthfully, that’s all he wanted. You were all that he wanted.
And now, you weren’t here.
Karina and Heeseung were, but the two didn’t even look his way, and had sat near the front of the class—an act which worried him, because: had you told Karina what happened? Did you go back home upset and interrupt them? Were they mad at him now, too?
Inevitably, class went by slowly. Painfully slowly. Unable to focus, all that Jisung could think about was you, so when the bell rang and all the students left the lecture room except him, he didn’t notice. The only thing that caught his attention finally, was your name being called out in Professor Hwang’s sharp tone.
“Huh?” He looks up from his laptop.
“I asked,” she starts, not too happy about having to repeat herself, “If you knew the reason for Ms. Y/n’s absence.”
“Oh.” He mumbles. As he looks around and notices the lack of classmates at his side, he starts packing his things. “No. Why do you think I would know?”
“Because, Mr. Park, the two of you are attached at the hip.”
“Well, I don’t.” He swings his bag over his shoulder and jogs down the stairs, “Maybe Karina does.”
As he’s about to pass her, Professor Hwang points her pen at his chest, stopping him.
“When you run into her, let her know her absence will count against her unless she has an excused note. And,” she slides her glasses off, folding them and tucking one of the legs to the neckline of her shirt, “I hope the two of you make up.”
“I-“ He’s speechless, “H-how did you know?”
“Educated guess.” she states simply.
Jisung nods once, and she lifts her pen to allow him to pass. He heads for the door, pushing it open and making his way to the quad so that he can go home.
He’ll just message you. That’s what he decides. He’ll just ask you to meet up with you, he thinks, that shouldn’t be too hard.
But the moment he hits the send button on a message he so carefully crafts for you and looks back up, he sees you from across the huge field of green.
A smile almost breaks out on his face, because he sees your hair and the pretty outfit you’ve chosen today, layered to keep you warm with a scarf tucked under your chin. But he doesn’t quite get to smile, because you’re accompanied by the last person he’d like to see you with right now.
You pause your conversation with Jaehyun to look down at your phone, presumably to check the message Jisung just sent you. Without replying, you quickly tuck it away into your pocket.
Jisung watches as you and Jaehyun stop and sit at a bench on the quad, engrossed in what looks like a serious conversation.
Now: he doesn’t want to be dramatic. It’ll get him nowhere and he knows that. That being said, he still pulls your contact up again, and writes you another message, rereading the one from earlier, too.
To: Y/n :3
hi. i noticed you weren’t in class today… i hope you weren’t avoiding me. i want to apologize to you in person for what happened last night. can we meet up if that’s okay? Sent at 2:10 PM.
To: Y/n :3
i’ll be at my dorm in 10 so just pass by when you have a chance. please.
Sent at 2:17 PM
He presses send and watches, as you pick up your phone again, read the message at lightning speed, and put it away.
Fuck.
•.¸¸☆*・゚
Jisung feels absolutely fucking ridiculous.
Why time seems to circle around you and waiting for you to come over so can apologize, he doesn’t know. The rest of his day is meaningless; he doesn’t eat, doesn’t study, doesn’t shower, doesn’t play video games, doesn’t call his mom, doesn’t do any of the things he normally does.
You don’t pass by today, meaning you read his messages, and willingly ignored them or put them off. Doesn’t mean he didn’t think about you or thought about you less; your continuous absence gave him more time to think and dwell.
He’s tired and feeling wide awake at the same time, missing your scent that he can no longer find on his sheets. Maybe he shouldn’t have washed them, even if they were filthy. He’s done worse things, like go to class with dried cum on his stomach, or used your cardigan to jack off. Your cardigan, that’s still by his desk, would have remnants of your scent, but he doesn’t have the energy to get up to retrieve it. And, even if he did, he would probably get hard and he definitely did not have the energy to jack off right now.
So he tosses and turns restlessly until he passes out with his mouth half open and his leg half hanging off the bed.
That night, he dreams of you. The next morning, he wakes up to someone continuously knocking on his door.
“I’m coming,” he grumbles into his pillow, quite literally rolling out of bed and in the process, getting tangled up in his comforter and falling on the carpeted floor of his dorm with a thump.
Jisung lets out some sort of distressed moan before struggling to his feet and wobbling over to the door. His left hand rubs his elbow which braced his fall, while his injured arm reaches out for the doorknob.
The knocking hasn’t stopped, so when he opens his door, his eyes are narrowed with sleep and annoyance.
“What?”
“Dude, why haven’t you called about the bathroom? I had to take a piss in the middle of the night and I stepped on toilet water. In my socks.”
Jisung only rolls his eyes at Mark, turning back to his bed and plopping down on it with a hiss as the rest of his body feels the damage of his fall.
“Have you talked to her?”
“No.” Jisung grumbles.
“Okay.” Mark sighs, “Well, when are you supposed to see her again?”
Jisung looks at his phone for the time. “Right now.”
“What? Is she coming over? Should I go?”
“No, you’re good. I have astronomy with her right now.”
“When?”
With a pause, Jisung rubs his eyes as he calculates, “47 minutes ago.”
Mark huffs, “so you just didn’t go to class?”
“Nope.”
Mark steps further into the room, looking around. “Is she supposed to come over at all?”
“Hopefully.”
“Alright, then. Get up.” His eyes bounce around the room until he finds a trash bag behind a clutter of Jisung’s things, then repeats himself a little sharper. “Get up and start cleaning.”
Instantly, Jisung groans, rolling over and getting under his comforter that seconds later, is yanked off of him. He starts to complain but Mark just shoves a bag in his hands.
“Non-negotiable. You think you’re gonna win her back with your room looking like a rat’s nest? Tidy up a bit, man.”
“Okay, mom.”
Reluctantly, he follows Mark’s lead, throwing away empty water bottles and cans that littered his room, as Mark focuses on any other pointless trash like empty packaging boxes.
“Where’s your hamper?” He asks, and Jisung extends a finger towards his closet.
“Dude.” Jisung turns to him. “When’s the last time you did laundry? This shit is overflowing.”
“Haven’t had the energy.”
“You had plenty of energy before this week. Here,” he kicks it over carefully so it doesn’t tip, then points at the clothes that litter his room, “Put it all here and go wash it. I’ll make your bed and throw out the trash.”
Jisung has never missed his mom so much. Sure, she’d nag him about his mess for days on end, but she was his mom, so eventually, he’d come home and everything would be tidied up for him. He definitely took her for granted, that much is painfully clear now as he gives Mark a long look of disdain. The older boy doesn’t budge; he only shoos Jisung away from the edge of the bed so he can get to work on spreading out the comforter.
Jisung does as instructed, too tired to argue or form a fuss, especially when all Mark is doing is helping him. That being said, he does do it in a very Jisung fashion: shoving all clothes, clean or dirty, into the hamper and literally dragging it down the hall to the laundry room. That includes your cardigan, which he gives one last glance to before tossing in the washing machine. It’s about time he gave it back to you anyway.
He watches his clothes spin around and around in the cycle for two different reasons, the first being that he’s generally zoning out, thinking about you. The second being that he’s making time before going back to his room, cause despite his friends best efforts and even better intentions, he does not want to clean.
But eventually, those two mix together, and he realizes Mark does have a point—if you came over and his room was a mess, that’s just one more thing he’d be embarrassed about.
So, he leaves his things in the washer and sulks all the way back to his room where he finds Mark accommodating the clutter at his desk.
“What a difference, huh?” Jisung wishes he could just shrug, but Mark’s eyes are filled with expectation.
“Yeah, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it!” He grins, grabbing his phone from the dresser. “I’ll leave you to it. Take a shower and try texting her again.”
Jisung nods once.
He checks the time and notices that you’d be out of class shortly, and if you didn’t come over, he’d have to stop by yours later. Regardless of how, the plan is to talk to you today, because Jisung simply can’t keep existing with his even-waking thought being you. The minute that class wraps up, he types out a message to you as he walks over to the shower. He makes a quick call to maintenance for the bathroom down the hall before turning on his ringer in case you reply and stepping into the shower.
For a while, he lets the water run over him, hissing as the temperature fluctuates between an acceptable barely-warm and an icy cold that matches the weather outside. The building’s heating system isn’t consistent or reliable, especially as the temperature drops more and more in the winter months, so he ceases his stalling and washes himself quickly before the water decides to stop cooperating.
He types away into his phone after wrapping the towel around his waist.
“We… really… need… to,” he reads out his text as he writes it, sighing out the last word, “talk.”
But as he walks down the hall to his room with the towel still hanging loosely and his hair dripping over his chest and shoulders, and consequently, the innocent carpet of the hallway, his feet skid to stop. Just as his finger presses send, he hears the ‘ding’ of the receiving end.
Both of you look up from your screens at the same time. As Jisung jumps in surprise, his towel drops, and you yelp.
“Sorry!” You spin around and cover your eyes as frantically looks around the hall to make sure no one else saw the mishap. He picks it up and ties it around himself again, securing it in his grip this time.
“No– I–It’s fine. You… You can look.” It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.
Cautiously you spin around, peeking through your fingers to check before peeling your hands from your face and dropping them at your sides. The air between the two of you is thick for a minute, until you sigh dejectedly.
“I got your texts.” You smile weakly, and Jisung can’t help but mirror your slightly embarrassed expression. The moment is awkward and bittersweet, and neither of you move until Jisung realizes he’s still standing naked in the dormitory hallway.
“Oh, right.” He shakes his head and moves to unlock his room door. “Here,” he gestures, and follows you inside.
You move cautiously through the small space, glancing over at his bed and chair before deciding you don’t wanna take a seat.
“I came over because…” you sigh again, “well, because we have to talk.”
The only word he can utter is “yeah.” as he watches the way you shift your weight between your feet, not knowing he was doing the exact same thing.
“Do you wanna wanna maybe…”
He follows your gaze as it reaches his towel, and he almost jumps out of it again.
“Right! Sorry! I-” he huffs, “could you just…”
Wordlessly, you turn around and opt for twiddling your thumbs as he waddles over to a drawer and finds a pair of shorts and shirt to slip on, but not without glancing over his shoulder to make sure you aren’t looking.
There’s no hiding the red in his face and ears as he spins back around with his lips pursed. “I’m done.”
There’s a pause as you spin around slowly… and another pause as both of you debate the right moment to speak up. It’s so awkward that his skin crawls and his mouth runs dry. There’s no noise, only the creaking of the floor as he walks to his bed and offers you a seat beside him.
“No, I-I’m okay with standing.”
Another pause.
“Jisung–”
“Y/n–
“You first.” You both reply, and you sigh as you realize you should probably go first, seeing as you’re the one who came over to talk in the first place.
“Okay.” With a shaky breath, you nod to yourself once before speaking, your voice coming out quieter than intended. “I came to talk to you because… Well, I saw your messages and… I don’t like how we left things off, Ji.”
“Me either.” He admits, looking down at the floor as his mind swarms him with all the possible things you may or may not say.
“I talked to Jaehyun earlier. He’s my, uh,”
“Ex.” He says at the same time as you, and both of you make eye contact.
Jisung’s heart pounds as you stand before him, voice tentative and unsure. When you say, “It wasn’t fair of me to downplay everything between us. I just… I got scared,” he can’t help but clench his jaw. He wants to be understanding, to remember that you’re figuring things out too, but the memory of you calling him just a friend gnaws at him. How was he supposed to take that?
“So… was it just comfort for you, then? Convenience? A quick fuck?” he blurts, his voice tight. “Because I thought I meant something to you.” He doesn’t intend for it to sound so raw, but the words slip out anyway, his vulnerability laid bare.
You look up at him finally, eyes wide. “You do. You mean more to me than anyone ever has, Jisung,” you say, looking at him with a mixture of guilt and longing. His heart stutters.
You take a shaky breath. “I talked to Jaehyun about us.” Jisung’s eyebrows shoot up. You talked to Jaehyun, that much he knew. But about him? He swallows thickly, nodding for you to continue, bracing himself for whatever you’re about to say.
“He told me that… that you’re a good guy,” you continue, voice soft. “He said I’d be lucky if you… if we…” You trail off, biting your lip, and Jisung’s heart tightens.
“So… Jaehyun’s okay with what happened between us?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nod, looking at him with an intensity that makes his heart race. “He is. And he’s right, Jisung. You’re good to me, and I don’t want to push you away. I didn’t want to call it something more because I was afraid I’d mess it up. But now… I don’t want to ignore it anymore.”
He lets out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of your words. He takes a small step toward you, closing the distance, his hand lifting almost on instinct to brush against your cheek.
“Are you serious?” he asks softly, his voice barely steady. “Because if you’re in, I’m in. I’ve been in this whole time. I’ve wanted us to be more, and if you’re ready, I’m… I’m here.”
You nod, relief and a hesitant smile lighting up your face. In that moment, Jisung’s fears and doubts melt away slowly. He pulls you into his arms, holding you close, as if he’s finally found his way through the maze of emotions you both have been lost in.
In the warmth of his embrace, you whisper, “I’ve got you. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Jisung holds you close, but there’s a hesitation in his touch, like he’s afraid this might disappear if he lets himself fully believe it. His fingers press into your back, grounding himself in the feeling of you, warm and real against him. He swallows, his heart heavy with the months of wanting, wondering, hoping, and fearing. Finally, he lets his eyes close, murmuring, “I thought I’d have to keep pretending forever, you know? Like maybe if I just waited long enough, I’d be okay with just… us as friends.” He laughs softly, the sound more fragile than he intends. “But I was never okay. I don’t think I ever would’ve been.”
You pull back slightly, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice. You search his eyes, looking for the hesitation, the doubt that lingers in his gaze.
“I know,” you say quietly, your voice soft but full of sincerity. “I wasn’t fair to you. I didn’t give you the chance you deserved. I was so afraid of what it could mean, of what I could lose, that I… I pushed you away.”
Jisung’s jaw tightens, and you can see the struggle in his eyes. “But now you’re here. Saying you want this… with me,” he whispers, his hands shaking slightly as he cups your face. “How do I know… how do I know you won’t change your mind again?”
“I don’t know,” you admit softly, your voice quivering. “But I do know that I’m not running this time. I’m here.”
And then, almost imperceptibly, you both laugh. It’s soft at first, a tiny giggle that slips out between the quiet, and it catches both of you off guard. The sound is shaky, like it’s laced with the bittersweet relief of finally breaking the tension that’s been building between you for so long.
“God,” Jisung chuckles, his hands moving down to your shoulders, giving you a soft squeeze.
The smile between you both widens as you inch closer, drawn by the gravity of each other’s presence. Slowly, almost cautiously, you lean in. And when your lips finally meet, it’s tender and slow.
The kiss deepens, and this time, there’s no hesitation. Jisung pulls you closer, his hands resting at the small of your back, guiding you into him as if he wants to feel every inch of you, to make sure this is real. You respond just as eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck, allowing yourself to melt into the warmth of him, the gentleness that’s always been there beneath the surface.
His lips move against yours with a tenderness that makes your heart swell, as though he’s savoring the moment, soaking in everything that’s been unsaid for so long. The kiss is slow, deliberate, and full of promise. There’s no rush—just the sweet, simple taste of your mouth on his.
When you pull back, both of you are breathless, grinning at each other. His hand gently cups your face, his thumb brushing over your lips, still tasting the lingering sweetness of the kiss.
You laugh softly, resting your forehead against his. “I’ve always been here. I just needed to realize it.” You tilt your head back slightly, locking eyes with him.
With a gentle pull, Jisung brings you in for another kiss, this one more playful, less tender, but just as full of emotion.
You pull away first, your lips tingling, and look at him with a teasing smile. “So, what now?” you ask, a little shy.
He raises an eyebrow, his grin matching yours. “Now, we take this one step at a time, but together.” He wraps his arms around you once more, pulling you into him with an ease that feels natural, “And maybe…” he starts, voice teasing as he buries his face in your neck, “we make up for lost time.”
You gasp out softly, tilting your head to give him room to continue to kiss and lick at your throat, “sounds… good to me.”
He turns his head, his lips brushing the edge of your ear, “Let me lay you down, yeah?”
You nod, ‘Mhm…”
Jisung pulls you closer, his hands sliding down your back as the space between you both shrinks. The air feels thick with anticipation, and the playful teasing that once filled the room fades, replaced by something deeper, more pressing. His touch is gentle yet urgent, guiding you toward the bed with a quiet confidence, the two of you knowing exactly what comes next.
The world outside this moment feels distant, irrelevant. There’s nothing but the heat of his skin against yours, the way your bodies fit together so naturally, as he realizes, he finally got you.
*. * ·
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