#that hurts a lot
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Something about me is, I’ll be like “okay, I’m going to bed.” And then I’ll spend the next several hours writing the most raw emotional shit you’ve ever seen in your entire life.
#nobody is ready for chapter 2 of When It Grows Dark#that shits gonna slap#like a bitch slap#that hurts a lot#i think anyway
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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there's no temptress quite as irresistible as the mid afternoon sleepies
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tango doodles
first you make up a guy and then you struggle to draw him correctly
#i need to stop drawing all the faces in 3/4 this is just silly.#gahh#anyways yes! im still on my quest to make tango look at least a little older#because every time i hear his voice the image in my head doesn't fit the sound at all.#dude has a raspy voice that doesn't exactly fit a little guy. if i could id draw him with more realistic proportions but i cant.#because um. reasons.#i can't just give up on my creachur cmon now...#ive noticed recently i tweaked a lot of my designs to be less cartoony. not sure if i like that actually. hm.#man i keep saying stuff like 'oh i gotta make weirder designs' but then i do the exact opposite??? huh?#i should stop trying to be normal. it's really hurting my image#GOD anyways. tags under the post yes.#tangotek#my art#sketch
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The death of Vanessa and the birth of Vanny in FNAF
(Inspired by this art by Yuto Sano)
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#glitchtrap#security breach#fnaf help wanted#fnaf fanart#I HAD to redraw these panels with Vanessa/Vanny..#it fit her vibe way too well not to#I’ll always stand by Vanessa as a character#her story is so good and she’s so interesting#having the protagonist of one of your games becomes the villain in the next PEAK honestly#the general idea here for this comic is when Vanessa lost herself and when Glitchtrap took hold#and the vanny persona was made and fully realized#first panel having Vanessa in fear and wounded#to the second panel with Vanny overjoyed and has hurt someone else#I HAD a lot of fun drawing this out#the detail and expressions were especially fun#idk if I’ll do something like this comic again#but if folks like this one I might do more similar to this#it’s fun to just draw out strong emotions in a character#and getting a full story from that#Love Vanessa/Vanny dearly 💜🐇#the girl to ever do it
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CONTROL YOURSELF
#the substance#my art#your body as consumption vs consumption as your body and so on#still thinking a lot about this film. boy does it manage to nail the angle of simmering self hatred#but the line ‘is it getting harder to remember you deserve to exist’ has stuck with me. its sad but its also very resonant#and its an important reminder. there is no dissociative self you’re hurting. there is only you#the substance 2024#demi moore#margaret qualley
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"It was affection that held us together."
zoom in for better detail (tumblr likes to butcher my quality lmao)
#as someone going through a tough time in friendship land this took a lot out of me to draw#ive been both a jayce clinging onto something that isnt there and a viktor withdrawing to avoid needed conversations#and arcane just. was hiding writers in my walls ig because that line was made to hurt#ANYWAAYYYYY have my favourite little queers having a liquid time. detroit become magic ig#art#digital artist#artists on tumblr#spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#arcane season two spoilers#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayce arcane#jayvik#arcane#my art
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ohhh so ur scrimbly??
#my art#cotl#cult of the lamb#jakub#chirin au#cotl goat#cult of the lamb goat#i literally did not know how to caption this i just wanted to draw them so littleeee#i told my friends that jakub is gumpy bc they had a successful crusade#he likes to get hurt a lot and die lol
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Having dug out the Unfinished Tales to reference a conversation Tolkien wrote between Gandalf and Pippin (but didn’t publish) I thought I’d share it. Gandalf is talking to Pippin about the history of Thorin’s company, hobbits and why he chose Bilbo.
This is evidence for the grand statement I just made about how Bilbo was intended to be a catalyst that changed his society, and that hobbit society was indeed significantly different after his journey, with large social changes occurring between The Hobbit and Fellowship. But it’s also a very funny passage to me so here it is:
‘And then there was the Shire-folk. I began to have a warm place in my heart for them in the Long Winter, which none of you can remember.
They were very hard put to it then: one of the worst pinches they have been in, dying of cold, and starving in the dreadful dearth that followed. But that was the time to see their courage, and their pity one for another. It was by their pity as much as by their tough uncomplaining courage that they survived. I wanted them still to survive.
(😭😭😭😭. Also the theme of having pity for each other is what redeems both Bilbo and Frodo re: Gollum.)
But I saw that the Westlands were in for another very bad time again, sooner or later, though of quite a different sort: pitiless war.
(This is possibly one reason why this passage didn’t make it to publication - Gandalf shouldn’t have had this much foreknowledge of the upcoming war of the ring.)
To come through that I thought they would need something more than they now had. It is not easy to say what. Well, they would want to know a bit more, understand a bit clearer what it was all about, and where they stood.
(It’s also explaining that Bilbo’s role in Thorin’s company was predetermined both by a more omnipotent Gandalf and by Fate; that Gandalf selected Bilbo to be a social catalyst, to return and provoke hobbit society into a more adaptable, resilient state; therefore increasing their chances of surviving.)
They had begun to forget: forget their own beginnings and legends, forget what little they had known about the greatness of the world. It was not yet gone, but it was getting buried: the memory of the high and the perilous. But you cannot teach that sort of thing to a whole people quickly. There was not time.
(Thus Bilbo was supposed to be changed, and return changed by his journey, to teach his people.)
And anyway you must begin at some point, with some one person. I dare say he was “chosen” and I was only chosen to choose him; but I picked out Bilbo.’
‘Now that is just what I want to know,’ said Peregrin. ‘Why did you do that?’
‘How would you select any one Hobbit for such a purpose?’ said Gandalf. ‘I had not time to sort them all out;
(He is SO funny)
but I knew the Shire very well by that time, although when I met Thorin I had been away for more than twenty years on less pleasant business. So naturally thinking over the Hobbits that I knew, I said to myself: “I want a dash of the Took” (but not too much, Master Peregrin)
(This is brilliant we are always BODYING pippin constantly. NOT TOO MUCH TOOK 👀. We were ROBBED not having this in canon )
“and I want a good foundation of the stolider sort, a Baggins perhaps.” That pointed at once to Bilbo.
(Eugenics! Observing them like laboratory mouse lines! Call him a Charles River BILB/o the way you’re genotyping these poor little bastards for your purposes)
And I had known him once very well, almost up to his coming of age, better than he knew me.
(??? Hiding in the bushes spying or…?)
I liked him then. And now I found that he was “unattached” – to jump on again, for of course I did not know all this until I went back to the Shire. I learned that he had never married. I thought that odd, though I guessed why it was; and the reason that I guessed was not the one that most of the Hobbits gave me: that he had early been left very well off and his own master.
(Was it cos he’s gay as fuck, Gandalf)
No, I guessed that he wanted to remain “unattached” for some reason deep down which he did not understand himself – or would not acknowledge, for it alarmed him.
(I 100% now and for always love a narrator in a constant state of Just Fucking Lies To Everyone All The Time, Giving Us Nothing, Acknowledging Nothing Including Himself. NOPE NOT PROCESSING ANYTHING TODAY THANKS. WE’RE CLOSED. COME BACK TOMORROW. just A Massive Liar about everything and for what!!! Bilbo Baggins my beloved you were born wrong.)
He wanted, all the same, to be free to go when the chance came, or he had made up his courage. I remembered how he used to pester me with questions when he was a youngster about the Hobbits that had occasionally “gone off ”, as they said in the Shire. There were at least two of his uncles on the Took side that had done so.’
You can see why I love this! And I can see why Tolkien didn’t include it, too. Still very fun passage and near enough to canon to be used if you ever want to.
#there is a joke here I will explain#Charles river breed laboratory mouse lines of which BALB/c is one of the most prolific in the world#all BALB/c mice are basically clones#🐁 they look like this that’s the mouse . they’re inbred white mice of over 100 years of inbreeding which is an unspeakable number#of mouse generations. that’s The Mouse of a lot of laboratory research.#which I did VERY briefly as a baby lab biologist a million years ago. the trick is to work in every scientific discipline so you can make#jokes like this which will hurt one (1) mutual.#also I am tagging this#weasel heart in defiance#just so I can keep it together for purposes of - no reason.#no reason.
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wondered when exactly Damian started casually chatting with his hallucinations of Alfred in Robin (2021)
figured isolating himself in a dark tower carrying pictures of Alfred and the weight of his death would do the trick! (Detective Comics (2016) #1032)
#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#batbabyart#'not-great-dad Bruce' rant ahead but. Bruce aware of Damian's guilt and allowing it to fester for so long still boggles my mind lol#there's a couple headscratchers i can think of but the worst instance had to be the Pennyworth RIP comic#Damian confessing his regret and leaving in tears while Bruce SAT there going 'he knows there's no blame :l'#when Jason already loudly blamed Damian lol!! and Bruce silently blamed Damian too!!#(ofc lots of internalized hurt and blame with grief but still)#ANYWAY the Alfred and Damian photos from that tec issue were so cute so this was partially an excuse to redraw them haha#this used to be Damian's og outfit+vest combo but it looked too silly to me sdgf
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” Am I not right to weep? O my children, cursed children of a hateful mother - ”
#medea#my art#cw blood#cw mild nudity#euripides medea#greek tragedy#greek theatre#this play is Female Rage by excellence#hmm yes the blood of her sons on her face hands breasts and belly the parts of her body that her children knew the most yes indeed#im really proud of this#:)#lots of symbolism here#the red shawl is her hate while the black one is a mourning blanket#it's dwarfed by her heartbreak which enveloped her whole and bears no blood bc it's already red#her eyes are golden like Circe's who's her kinswoman#the handle of the dagger is Jason who isn't explicitly wounded by her but drove her hand (the blame of the murders actually befalling him)#<that's why it's not bloodied unlike the blade which was used to hurt#her tear washed down the blood on her cheek representing her being absorbed of her crime by both the gods and her grief#on the mural behind her is Medea enchanting the dragon while Jason steals the Golden Fleece#and above (right) is Hera and Iris and (left) Helios in his chariot#with female chorus masks lamenting Medea's crime like the chorus in the play#the pose and expression are inspired by the poster for Médée by Mucha for the Théâtre de la Renaissance starring Sarah Bernhardt#overall proud of this#i think women deserve to go a little mad and violent when they're angry. as a treat#anyway thanks Euripides for the 500bc feminism
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It really stings when I put so much work into an art piece and it gets literally no likes because it doesn't happen to have Solas in it.
Like damn, that's a kick in the tit and demotivates me like nothing else.
#eli rants#fucking hurts dude#i spend hours on something and it gets ignored#but my stupid fucking scribbles get note after note#that hurts a lot
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Heh...Literally nothing personal, kid.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#sect leader yao#This episode has a lot of scenes I know people are excited for and starting here seems odd but here me out:#The sheer hilarity of this opening scene was too good to not give a highlight to.#Dare I say it? I think this is THE most underrated scene in the whole series.#You have one guy flashing WWX his prosthetic leg. Another complains about his dead parents.#And the third guy? He has no personal grievances at all. He's just here to be included.#You cannot get better comedic timing than that. Sect leader Yao you will always be famous to me.#There is also something to be said about how this scene is about shifting blame and holding a false trial.#And we also have the main theme about rumours vs truth in how Sect leader Yao is only here based on what he's been told to beleive.#And WWX is so exhausted by the blame! He was one breath away from saying 'form a queue and I'll take your complaints one by one'#WWX (overall) didn't do those things directly but he's the one the responsibility falls on.#Despite the fact that the first siege was *not* incited by him. It's like hitting someone and getting mad your fist got hurt.#What a brilliantly frustrating scene!#Anyways next up are the long awaited pheonix mountain flashabck scenes. We finally made it.#and AHH Season 3!!! The last stretch! Thank you all for rooting me on up until this point!
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guys are you ready *gives your effo long hair i mean. it kinda fits him!
#also i headcanon that he slouches a lot because hes kinda tall and has a bunch of short besties#and his back hurts too yayy i love making characters suffer.#spinning etho with a messed up spine and fluffy hair in my head#alex draws#hermitcraft#hermitblr#etho#ethoslab
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You don't understand how much I actually love you shang siblings au!
And it's funny that all it took for og!sqh to survive is a little sibling. Just, "you wouldn't kill a guy who's also a father, would you my king?"
If someone kidnapped airplane, how would og sqh react?
Ah I'm so glad you do!!! They're so cute like a wide eyed little airplane going around the world spouting the most nonsensical things known to man while also saying some things absolutely NO ONE knows but iy somehow is true??? All while the OG dots on his weird little brother, who he would do anything for, anything.
Of course he'll get you that double chocolate chip ice cream, once he can find it. Also Airplane talking about all the games he used to play so OG the master of lying is just guessing on what they are
"Playing Minecraft" is going outside to dig holes and chop some things
#svsss#shang qinghua#original shang qinghua#scum villain's self saving system#scum villian self saving system#scum villain#shang bros#shang brothers#ask#my art#nibbelraz#ARENT THEY THE BEST SIBLINGS!!!!#poor Airplane god kidnapped but he genuinely wasnt worried he knew his brother would find him but ah#why is he so scared something bad might happen to his brother?#why is he so worried someone is going to get him?#kid airplane is stuck firguring out two worlds and he knows a lot of things he shouldnt but doesnt remember where eahc thiught goes#but he feels his brother might get hurt so hes svared that if he saves him soemthing will happen#but hes fine!#and he wasnt scared of his brother which was a worry from OG he knows his brother is kinda ruthless!!!!#blood#tw blood
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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