#that he got pregnant. long story short - he gets fucked over in more ways than one

[artssslut2]

Unexpected: Part Ten

Final Part!

Warnings: Graphic Birth

The days had passed slowly since you and Art got home. Not a bad slow, it was nice to relax and spend time together before your lives changed forever. You were in a better mood since Art had seemingly found the cure for your back pain; being in the water. You would swim in the ocean almost everyday to relieve the pain in your body.

Today your good mood faded because you were officially 41 weeks pregnant. That meant you were a week overdue. You knew it could happen you’ve seen it happen, but now that it was happening to you it was a whole different story. The worst part is that there is a possibility that it could last a whole other week before doctors would induce you. You were over it. You and Art had been trying to induce labor naturally, going on long walks, herbal teas, bouncing on a yoga ball but it wasn’t working.

It was nighttime and you and Art sat in your living room. You were miserably bouncing on the ball googling more ways to induce labor.

“This one says to try pineapple” Art suggested leaning over the counter reading off his computer, you didn’t reply you just stood up walked to the fridge. You took out a pineapple, luckily you had one because it was one of Arts favorite foods.

“Babe I could’ve gotten it for you.” He told you smiling a little, you again didn’t reply. You were too tired and too determined. “You know you could try to relax, just try enjoying these last few days.” Art suggested trying to be helpful but that’s not how you took it,

“Well that’s easy for you to say Art she’s not moving around inside of you all the time, or kicking you in your ribs, or making your back and feet and everything else hurt” you scoffed giving him a death stare. He got the message,

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I have no idea how you feel or how frustrated you must be.” He apologized and kissed your hair. You looked at him your eyes softened and you leaned into him a little as your way of telling him it was okay. He smiled at you and then took a piece of pineapple from the cutting board,

“Art don’t touch my pineapple!” You swatted his hand away, he looked surprised and put it back. You didn’t feel bad he knew better than to touch your food this late in your pregnancy.

“Do you really want to help me?” You asked him with puppy dog eyes,

“Of course baby, whatever you need” he told you, he was happy you asked for his help because he loved helping you.

“Okay. I’m gonna finish this entire pineapple and then we’re gonna go upstairs and have sex.” You told him casually while taking a bite of your fruit. Art was taken aback, sex was the last thing you seemed like you wanted to do, he stuttered a little before speaking

“Uh- o-okay. Um are you… sure?” He asked rather confused.

“You put her in there and you’re gonna get her out Donaldson. What,do you not want to fuck me?” You asked him, even though you were huge art still found you hotter than ever, he swallowed

“No of course I do-“

“Alright then let’s go.” You interrupted licking your fingers. Art felt his erection grow in his shorts it had been a long time since you two had been intimate he didn’t think he’d last long. He followed you upstairs to the bedroom.

You and Art had very hot slow side by side sex, the only way you really could these days. You came a few times and art came inside of you to hopefully get labor going. You couldn’t wait until you could have normal sex again.

“What a great way to celebrate.” Art said pulling out and rolling to his back,

“Celebrate what?” You asked also rolling over to face him, Art looked at you confused

“My um … birthday?” He said trying not to make you feel bad for totally forgetting. How could you have forgotten your best friends birthday,

“Fuck how could I forget! Art I’m so sorry-“ you felt yourself getting worked up, he could tell and tried to calm you down

“Hey it’s ok y/n. We have so much going on, this year has been insane don’t worry about it. It’s really no big deal I promise.” He said stroking your face gently. You tried giving him a smile,

“I’m still sorry babe. I love you.” You said kissing him “I’ll get you a present I promise.”

“You’re the only present I need my love.” He kissed your forehead. You didn’t have time to hate yourself for forgetting his birthday because you felt a pain in your stomach. Fuck. You winced. Art pulled away and looked at you.

“You might be getting a present anyways.” You said trying not to panic. Art stared blankly, “I think it worked.” Art still looked at you dumbfounded. “Art I think I’m in labor!”You said as clear as you could be, finally his face changed to slight panic,

“Well. . Um.. what do we, how-“ Art struggled to find words his face was as white as your sheets. Usually you would be the one to keep you both calm but you didn’t feel calm.

“Uhh do we have everything?” You said stuttering as well, you have almost two years of nursing school under your belt but you couldn’t remember anything important right now, art shot out of bed and went to the closet and grabbed a bag

“Yes! We have everything ready” he said putting the bag on the bed, he looked to you for further instructions

“Um.. then let’s uh… go for a walk.” You said finally finding words, now art looked really confused. His mouth hung open “So we can make it go faster. Oh and time them! Can you time how far apart they are?” You said getting out of bed and putting clothes on. Now you were in go mode,

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to go for a walk?” Art asked as he put a shirt on

“Yes these things take forever especially the first time. We can’t go to the hospital until they are five minutes apart. I don’t want to just sit here waiting around I want to speed this up.” You said finding your shoes.

“But-“ Art started to protest but you stopped him

“ART! You are going to listen to me right now! I’m so terrified right now and I need you to just do what I say okay?” You yelled with a voice crack. Art nodded his head slowly and you smiled “okay then come help me tie my shoes” you ordered and he rushed to your side to help you.

You and Art had walked around your neighborhood for about an hour. Surprisingly things were moving fast… maybe faster than you would have liked.

You were hunched over with one hand under your belly and the other grabbing arts shoulder for support, he stood right by you.

“Shit this fucking hurts… I knew it would but it’s way worse than anyone could possibly imagine.” You groaned as the contraction finished. Art grimaced, he hated seeing you his best friend and love of his life in pain. He was the biggest empath.

“Can I do anything else for you baby?” He asked pushing your hair from your face. You shook your head,

“How far apart are they now?” You asked standing up straight again. He looked at his watch

“Four minutes” he said then paused, his eyes went wide and so did yours and you looked at each other “fuck! Four minutes?!” He said looking at his watch again panicked

“Art I said tell me when it was at six!” You yelled also panicking.

“Shit I’m sorry I just- I - I didn’t-“ he couldn’t find words he put and hand behind his neck,

“Let’s go we gotta go!” You barked at him. You were a few minutes from your house, you’d have to walk back and then drive to the hospital. This was not how you had planned this, how was it going so fast?

By the time you made it back to your house and to the car the contractions were three minutes apart. Now you both were panicking. You prayed that you would make it to the hospital because no way were you having a baby in Arts car. His new car. You waited by the car while Art went to lock the house. As you stood there you felt something leak down your leg. Fuck. Your water had just broken,

“Ready?” Art said rushing to the car, he came to your side to open the door, you just looked at him with fear in your eyes “what?” He asked looking at you and then scanning your body

“My water broke.” You said a little above a whisper, surprisingly Art didn’t panic he was the one who stayed calm

“Well then we should go.” He said holding your face forcing out a smile. You felt another contraction hit you hard, it was worse than any of the others. You yelled in pain and grabbed Art to hold you up.

“Art I don’t think we are going to make it”

“What? What do you mean yes we will come on” he said trying to get you into the car but you wouldn’t.

“I’d rather have the baby here than in your car” you said firmly, you knew you were going to have the baby soon. You didn’t have time. It terrified you but you didn’t have time to be scared

“Y/n I-“

“Art! Just trust me on this please, I’m the one who’s been a nurse and is in medical school so you have to listen and stay calm.” You begged. Art took a deep breath and closed his eyes

“Let’s go inside” he said helping you walk to the house.

You barely made it to the house, half way there you felt the urge to push. The baby was coming now. Art pretty much had to pick you up to get you Inside. As soon as you got through the door you were on the floor with Art next to you.

“Fuck. It’s happening now Art” you cried,

“Okay - Okay what do I do?” He asked frantically.

“Get something to grab her with like a towel make sure it’s clean okay?” He didn’t respond he just shot up and ran to get one. He was back in seconds. You had taken your pants off and were against the wall sitting down.

“Okay, can you see her head?” You asked out of breath, you had never felt so much pain in your life. Somehow with all the chaos you weren’t even focused on the pain.

“Yes I see it. Oh my god I see it.” Art said he was in awe of the strength you had. You nodded and took a deep breath

“N-next contraction I’m gonna push again… tell me when her head is out.” You directed, Art listened to you closely, he was calm now and he was ready. As ready as a freshmen twenty year old could be, while listening to your screams of pain,

“I’m so proud of you y/n your doing amazing” he told you starting to get teary eyed. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you were terrified and so was Art,

“I love you” you said catching your breath waiting for the next contraction

“I love you so much” you felt another contraction rip through you

“Okay now” you could barely get at words, you started pushing, you yelped out in pain. You wished you were in a hospital with drugs and doctors so your boyfriend could just hold your hand rather than deliver your baby.

“The heads almost out keep going” Art encouraged “it’s out. Oh my god it’s out!” He cried. You felt like you were going to pass out but you needed to get her out, that was your only focus. You centered yourself and looked back at Art

“Okay now..” you regretted what your were about to say you knew how bad it would hurt but it was the safest way to get her out quickly “now reach in and grab her shoulders, I’m gonna push and she will come out so be ready to catch her okay?” You instructed through gritted teeth. Art nodded along with fear in his eyes. Art did as you said and you screamed out in pain, he stopped he looked like he was going to cry

“No keep going!” This was the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Art hated seeing you like this he felt so bad but he followed instructions. You screamed as the baby came out. Art caught the tiny baby in his hands and a loud cry filled the air

“You did it. Jesus y/n you did it. Thank you. Thank you.” Art cried he had never been so in love, he couldn’t believe how proud he was of you for practically delivering your own baby. He had never seen such a smart strong badass women before.

Art brought the baby closer to you and you both held her in your arms and cried.

“Art she’s so beautiful.” You sobbed looking at the life you and your best friend created.

“I can’t believe you just did that baby. That was insane.” He smiled kissing your head and touching your foreheads together. Your baby had stopped crying and you kissed her head. Art called an ambulance and you both waited while sitting on the floor with your newborn. Neither of you cared about the mess or the pain, all you cared about was your little girl. Art sat behind you holding you up as you held your baby. It was perfect.

Once you were all at the hospital, you and the baby were checked out and the both of you were healthy and safe. Art felt the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders when he heard both his girls were okay. You and Art sat in your hospital bed watching your baby sleep in his arms peacefully.

“We still need a name for her” Art cooed keeping his eyes on the infant

“We already have one” you whispered looking at him, he turned to you and realized what you were saying,

“No way. really?” He asked, his eyes lighting up. You nodded. “Sunny. Hi my little Sunny girl.” He told the baby with the biggest smile you had seen. You were slightly angry because you didn’t want that to be her name, but after hearing Art say it so much you couldn’t picture her name being anything else.

“I’m gonna marry you y/n… I’m gonna give you and Sunny everything.” He said before kissing you.

Never in a million years did you think this is what your life would be like this. You wouldn’t change a thing.

“Hey happy birthday. Both of you.” You said to your two favorite people. “Congrats on beating teen parenthood Donaldson.” You joked. Art chuckled and then kissed your forehead

“You’ll be on my level in two months don’t worry.”

[gizkasparadise]

final leg of a journey to love thoughts!! (eps 35-40). this got so gd long so under a cut it goes. spoilers, of course:

PLOT STUFF/PACING

pacing for the plot definitely got shredded in the last chunk, which is a damn shame because otherwise i've been finding the pacing pretty much perfect. eps 35-37 in particular felt like they could have been like a 10 episode arc. ep 38, which mostly dealt with wu palace politics, should have been cut or streamlined imo and more time given to the characters we've actually been riding along with the whole story. by the time we get back to the pregnant empress, prince danyang, the first prince whose name i dont even remember, and the prime minister, i do not care about any of them and i think this subplot was simply just trying to fit too much shit into one bag

that said, this show still let the emotional moments hit and breathe and linger. i love the grief for the fallen liudao comrades as we go, as well as the less heavy but still emotionally important moments like yang ying and tongguan bonding over their upbringing. and we got a wedding /;3;/!!! for this show, the relationships and characters matter more than the storyline so im not mad about anything at all

side note: it's so gd millennial to have a story about a bunch of 30 something year olds who want to fake their deaths and retire into obscurity but instead they go and die for a boss they hate

CHARACTER STUFF

this show consistently brought a lot of depth to its side characters (and side side characters!!). i said it in an earlier post, but it bears repeating that even someone like deng hui i didnt expect anything from, but he got such good development and writing that he became a stealth fave. his dying words essentially being "dude, quit fucking around" ? iconic.

i didnt like tongguan as much as everyone else, so im pretty meh about everything regarding him. the attempt to force-wed ruyi was tonally really weird and didnt make sense (i assume there was some cuts made surrounding it). but LOL at him reusing all the outfits and decor immediately for his wedding to yang ying. baby duke, you tacky motherfucker. i ultimately think yang ying deserves better than him, but the good thing is that she knows this, so she'll be able to hold her own and then some entering into this partnership

shisan really was the heart in a lot of ways--the mom to yuanzhou's dad for the liudao. i was not expecting him to break my heart the way he did, but the fact that he held both qian zhao and sun lang as they died and then tried his best to remove yuan lu from harm and saved chu yue and was just very much a nurturer all the way through got me. his character couldve been cheap comic relief but the writing + performance really elevated him into one of the (imo) most memorable wuxia characters. his line wondering who would get to behead his beautiful skull!!! and how his mantra was always that he was going to drink the best wine, see the most beautiful women, and make the best of friends and he dies having lost the ability to see and having just had wine in memory of qian zhao, yuan lu, and sun lang. like. shut up!!

ruyi and yuanzhou were both so great and they're gonna be the drama OTP to beat forever. i loved the gender reversals, that they both were so respectful of each other, and that they also felt very mature in how they handled things and communicated. they were really interesting characters both together and apart and that's always a win-win. they had a schroedinger's ending where it's not super clear if they're alive or dead (i interpreted it as the latter), but what's kind of beautiful is that either option is satisfying to me. if they both died, they're reunited and with their comrades and the story is truly about the journey and the meaningful short connections we have. if they both survived, it's a bookend with the beginning where they each faked their deaths to escape. A+

COSTUMING

i gotta just separately mention the costuming for this show because it was 15/10. the textures, shisan's accessories, the way red became integrated with yuanzhou's wardrobe and blue with ruyi's. the details on the liudao name amulets!! SO GOOD. i love when characters' clothes tell a story on their own

overall i just really loved this drama it is probably my favorite wuxia ive seen so far! it's gonna be in my brain for awhile lol feel free to send fic prompts if you've made it this far :'D

[rebouks]

Previous | Next

Transcript:

Norma: It’s not uncommon to find yourself on the wrong path in life, Oscar. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Oscar: I could’ve turned back earlier-.. I don’t know why I didn’t. Courtney reckons it was fate. Norma: That’s one way of looking at it.

Oscar: I was in a bad place.. ignoring everything seemed easier at the time, but the more we got involved, the less freedom we had. I figured they’d get bored eventually, y’know? Find someone better suited to the job than a depressed junkie. Norma: Bumping into Kate, that changed things for you?

Oscar: It felt so personal in comparison-.. these were innocent people; people I knew. I couldn’t sit on it. I knew the cops were in on it as well, so I took her to the only person I thought I could trust. Norma: Joslyn.

Oscar: [nods] She helped Kate, but she couldn’t help us, not after being promoted by Spencer. Norma: She tried her best. Oscar: That Agent Key guy was twice as useless as her, he fucking ghosted us.

Norma: Well, I looked into that after Joslyn told me about it. He had a heart attack-.. recovered just fine, but chose to retire early. The importance of your case was most likely lost amongst a mountain of paperwork. Those local departments are horrendously unorganised, bound by red tape; it should’ve landed on our desk.

Oscar: I was pissed that no one seemed interested-.. but I’m stubborn, so I figured I’d write it up myself, take it to the top. I kinda got waylaid though; Del Sol, Courtney got pregnant, I checked myself into rehab.. it’s all a bit of a blur. Norma: Do you know why Wyatt sent Courtney to Del Sol?

Oscar: It turns out they’d met outside all this; maybe he was jealous, suspicious, unhinged.. all three? The weirdest thing is, after all that, he turned around and helped us? I don’t get it. Norma: Really? That’s interesting.

Oscar: For some reason, yeah. He helped us expose Spencer. Norma: Is there any chance he could’ve felt guilty-.. had a change of heart? Oscar: [scoffs] I doubt it, he’s a pretty disturbed guy.

Norma: It’s no wonder, growing up in that environment. Oscar: He doesn’t deserve an excuse. Norma: Now, now.. don’t get all bitter; we never truly know other people’s intentions. We can guess, but still…

Oscar: It’s hard not to be. Norma: I’m sorry that you fell through the cracks, Oscar.. I really am. If you were a CI, or even an undercover agent, you would’ve been pulled out of this situation a long long time ago. The fact that you persevered is admirable.

Oscar: [sighs] I just-.. I wish Courtney hadn’t been dragged into it. Norma: Life’s too short for regret, dust yourself off and move on. Oscar: How can I move on when-…

Norma: We have a name, a place-.. Eugene’s already in Del Sol; it’s only a matter of time, trust me. Oscar: I suppose it’s your job now. Norma: [chuckles] Not one to hand over the reins easily, are you? You and your friends got us this far, we’ll do the rest.

Oscar: [nods] Thanks for being one of the good ones-.. I think? You haven’t been a dick to us, at least. Norma: Aha, the key is to pick your battles. You’re not the real bad guys here. Oscar: Are you, uh-.. we’re not gonna need lawyers once you’ve wrapped up in Del Sol, are we?

Norma: No, there’s no evidence against any of you; some dealings here and there, racketeering, assault-.. whatever else? Some of our agents do much worse, it’s a means to an end… I told Bruno we don’t always do things by the book, and I meant it. Oscar: That’s.. good to know.

Norma: [nods resolutely] Such a remarkable story-.. anyway, I think you’ve given me enough of your time. Oscar: Well.. I didn’t think I’d be saying this, but it was nice meeting you. Norma: Likewise! I’ll be sure to let you know of our progress, okay? In the meantime, you ought to try and give yourself a break.

[donniesbabygirl28]

Dallas x single mom reader (pt 2)

You were awaken by your daughter smacking you in the face.

“Mommy~~ time to wake uppp~” she says, holding one of your eyes open.

You looked at the time, which said 10:30.

The door opened, seeing Dallas and Two-bit, and Johnny.

“Hey ladies!” Two said happily.

“Hey Two.” You said, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

You sat up, wrapping the blanket around yourself, going into your bag and handing your daughter a granola bar for a breakfast-ish snack.

You got up and ran into the coffee table.

“Fuck!” You said, rubbing your foot.

“Fuck.” Ally decided to repeat.

You looked at her with wide eyes.

“Um..don’t.say that?..” you said, honestly not giving a fuck what she said, but wanting to be a good influence.

She grabbed her stuffed bear, throwing it at Dallas.

“He needs a butt change.” She says plainly, just staring at him with a straight face.

“Why can’t you do it?” He replies back to her.

She gave him a “really bitch” look

“…I’m four.” She states sassily.

He look at her and then looked at Two-bit and handed it to him.

“He needs a butt change.” He says, also with a straight face, imitating Ally.

You laughed at them. It seemed like they were really bonding.

You looked at the time again and figured you could take her to the park or something.

“Hey Ally. You wanna go to the park?” You asked her.

“Hell yeah!” She exclaimed.

You sighed. Once again. She gets her mouth from you. You grabbed her bag and changed her into a Bon Jovi t-shirt and pair of shorts with daisies on them. She loves Bon Jovi.

You changed also matching with her. You walked out of the bathroom and put all the stuff you need into the bag.

“You want us to come with y’all?” Two asked politely.

“Yeah of course.

“Yayy! Dal Dal and Two-Two!! What’s your name?”Ally exclaimed, then asking Johnny.

“That’s Johnny cade, hun.” You said sweetly.

“Yay Johnnycake!!!” She said, mixing up her words.

You looked at her with a smile.

“Is that their new names?” You smiled

“Uh huh” she said, jumping over the cracks in the cement.

You soon arrived at the park, letting her play with Two-but on the swings.

Dallas sat next to you.

“So..how is it?” He said, not looking at you.

“What do you mean?”

He paused, wondering if it was rude to ask.

“Like…how is it being a mom at 17?..” he said hesitantly.

You chuckled.

“It’s exhausting. But at the same time it’s amazing.”

“Was she planned?..”

You looked at him, shaking your head.

“This boy I dated when I was 14 was a little shit. Long story short, I thought he would stay if I went all the way with him. But he left when he found out I was pregnant, leaving me with more weight on my shoulders. Turns out he was cheating.” You paused.

Dallas say there, listening to every word that was coming out of your mouth.

“But she looks nothin like him. And her personality is nothin like his either. She’s really sweet. But she can definitely be a little stubborn. But that’s okay because I would rather her have my flaws than his.” You said, looking at Ally, Johnny and Two-bit. She turned around and waved at you, Which you waved back.

Dallas nodded, understanding what you meant.

“..Do you have a boyfriend now?..” he hesitated.

You shook your head.

“I’m not even sure I’d want one.“

“Oh.

Ally came running to you guys, breathing heavily.

“Can…you play..with me and.. Two-Two.. and Johnny..?..” she said to Dallas, taking breaths in between her words.

“Oh.. uh I’m talking to your mom right now.. maybe when we’re done?” He said, kinda wanting to know more about your life.

She pouted at him, hugging him, laying her head against his chest.

“Please Dal Dal?..”she begged.

He couldn’t resist. She was too sweet.

He looked at you, as a way of saying “Is it okay?” , not wanting to leave you, especially after you told him what happened.

You shooed him off, letting him play, smiling at them.

Later on Two had to go home to babysit his little sister and it was almost dark out.

Leaving only you three

Dallas and Ally were laying in the grass, pointing at stars and playing twenty one questions.

A red car pulled up, you knew exactly who it was when the person driving stepped out.

Bob walked up to y’all. You knew about socs when you were in elementary school with Two. You and him would see people getting jumped all the time. You were always a greaser. Even when you moved away. The greaser habit always stayed with you. Your daughter was a greaser too. I mean, come on, how can a baby pop out and just be like a soc when the mother was born a greaser.

“Y/n? Am I going crazy or is that you?” He said

You glared at him.

“Yeah it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.” (Stranger things ref anyone?”

Ally ran up to you, grabbing your hand.

“Mama. Who’s that?”

“Nobody important.” You said, pulling her behind you.

Dallas picked her up, pulling her into his chest, trying to distract her.

“It’s been a long time since I saw you.” He said sweetly. But it was oh so fake.

“Yeah..obviously not long enough.”you said.

You’ve always had a smart mouth. Especially towards people you hated.

He laughed.

“You’re still a smartass. I see you have a kid now.”

You looked back at her, looking worried a little.

“Yeah. I do.”

“Where’s the dad. Don’t tell me it’s Dally boy.”

Your eyes widened, blushing a little bit.

“No. Of course not. The father isn’t in the picture.”

“You were always a slut. I mean, I’m not shocked he left.”

That’s when your daughter was getting annoyed.

“Go away. You’re giving me a migraine.” Ally said, rolling her eyes.

Bob stepped closer.

“What’d you say?”

She looked him up and down and made a disgusted face.

“I said. Go. Away. You’re really annoying. My mom obviously doesn’t like you. So I don’t know why you’re trying.”

“Oh shut up you little shit.”

“What did you just say to her?!”

Bob and Dallas made eye contact.

Dallas handed her to you, telling you to take her back the the Curtis house.

“Are you sure? What if something happens?”

He looked at you.

“I’ll be fine.”

You listened to what he said and walked as fast as you could to the Curtis house.

You walked in the door and sat her on the couch. The boys were out doing whatever. Probably getting groceries.

You held your head in your hands, frustrated and scared. Johnny rubbed your back while you gathered yourself together.

“Is Dal Dal gonna be okay?”your daughter said with teary eyes.

“You must really like him.” You said, smiling.

“Yeah. He’s sweet. And he’s really tuff. He also has pretty hair.”

You smiled more. You were really happy that your daughter found people that she feels comfortable with. You could tell that Dal was her favorite besides Two and Johnny.

But if something bad happened it would break her. She’s very protective over people she loves.

Dallas came through the door later on with a busted lip and a black eye.

You gasped. And pulled him onto one of the couches.

She heard you gasp and went to look over at you, before you turned her away and covered her eyes.

“Don’t look.”

“But mommy! I wanna see! What’s wrong?!” She said, tearing your hand away.

She looked at Dallas.

She walked to him, putting her hand on his cheek.

“Did he do this to you?” She said softly.

“Yeah. But hey! I’m fine, doll.”

“Why did you two fight? Was he being mean to you too?”

“Nah. He was being mean to you.”

She teared up, hugging his neck.

“Thanks dally. You’re really tuff.”

He smiled.

You told her to go play with Johnny, which she reluctantly agreed.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You said, sitting next to him.

“Yeah I did. He was bein a jerk. And you’re a lady. No one should talk to a lady like that.” He said, lighting a cigarette. He offered you one and you took it.

You haven’t smoked since you’ve been with the Curtis family. You know they didn’t mind, but you’ve just been worried about finding a place to live.

“Thanks.”you said softly.

He hummed in response.

“We’ve talked about my life. What about yours?” You insisted.

He hesitated, not sure if he could trust you. But after all, he got in a fight for you and your daughter. And you told him everything about yourself.

“I used to live in New York but my mom died when I was younger. I’m 17 now, same age as you. And my father was a dick. So I came here. And honestly..I’m happy here. I have friends here that actually care and I’ve met you guys. So that made it better.” He said, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Well that’s good. I’m glad our presence made you happy.” You joked.

Ally came back to the living hesitantly.

“You okay?..” she said, standing next to the couch.

“Yeah, doll.” He picked her up, sitting her next to him.

She laid against his side, feeling tired.

“So what should we do tomorro….” You said, but cutting yourself off when you see them both laid out on the couch, sleeping.

You placed the blanket over them, kissing her forehead, but she pulled your hand.

“Can you stay with me and dal dal? What if the monster eats me and him?” She said, genuinely scared for his safety and hers.

You agreed, laying with them on the couch, holding your daughter.

Dallas wrapped his arms around both of you.

This was something you could get used to.

[alexanderwales]

TV Review: Dark Matter

This should be a short review, because it's a show that I felt was pretty short on ideas.

Spoilers follow.

Dark Matter is another Apple TV scifi show, and so far as I'm concerned, Apple TV has had a really good track record for scifi. Severance was one of my favorite shows of whatever year it came out, I thought they did Silo justice, and while For All Mankind has its warts, I have been happy to watch it.

Dark Matter is a multiverse show, and the multiverse is a difficult concept to work with, especially if you're taking it to its logical extremes where there are infinitely many universes. The show is based on a book by Blake Crouch, which I haven't read, and don't plan to.

Most of the plot revolves around a professor of physics, his wife and son, and the alternate version of him who takes over his life. It felt like it took way too long for the basic premise to be revealed, but there it is. Early on, Jason1 got removed from his own universe by Jason2 and placed into Jason2's original universe, sort of a Prince and the Pauper situation. In Jason2's universe, they have created "The Box" which, with a brain chemical, can put a person into a state of "superposition" that allows them to travel an infinite hallway to find other Earths that are always geographically identical but might vary wildly from each other. If the first episode is almost pure setup, then episodes two through seven are 1) Jason1 discovering what happened to him and 2) Jason2 trying and failing to slip into the life he thought he wanted.

Here's one thing I wanted to start with: it makes zero fucking sense that Jason2 would put Jason1 into Jason2's original universe. He obviously could have killed Jason1 and then dumped the body in one of the alternate universes, but he could also just as easily have dumped Jason1 anywhere else. In fact, he does this later on to a different character. If there's a justification, which I think there isn't, it's that Jason2 is not really a killer, and really did feel bad about taking over his alternate's life, and then ... I don't know, wanted them to do a swap, I guess, rather than putting Jason1 in a place where he would thrive.

The whole plot hinges on this decision, but I'm willing to move past it, even as dumb as I think it is.

The reason I love speculative fiction is that it gets to swing for the fences and set up all kinds of scenarios that make metaphors or thought experiments into realities. I have always been a sucker for time travel stories, and branching timelines aren't quite that, but they're close. The thing that this show is most interested in exploring, for most of its run, is "what would it be like for this character to have made a different choice". The choice in question is leaving his then-girlfriend Daniella when she discovered she was pregnant, and this is the main thing that separated the two Jasons: in Jason1's universe, he has a wife and a teenage son, and in Jason2's universe, he builds The Box after some investment from a side character who was really unimportant for how much screentime he got (setting up for a season 2 that almost certainly will not happen unless this show is way more popular than it has any right to be).

As the core of the show, this difference between Jasons is ... fine. It's a very middle-aged sort of question, and a very particular sort of question, since I have to believe that not a lot of people ever had to choose between a successful career as an engineer working on quantum physics or a job as a professor. But there's something about "the one that got away" and "the road not taken" that resonates even with some of the plot beats being a bit meh.

For a show that's including the entire multiverse though, it sure does seem to be shy about showing us other Jasons who had even more different life paths. Jason1 ends up visiting a lot of worlds while trying to get home, and there's not a lot of interaction with other versions of himself. I wanted to see him in different professions, married to different people, with different children. I wanted them to take the "road not taken" inquiries to their logical conclusions. If it's the full multiverse, then there have got to be truly miserable and truly exceptional Jasons, and come on it, it's a character study, you can show us new and interesting things about the character.

The most egregious of these was when he went to a universe where that Jason had gone to prison and his wife was afraid of him, and they don't even tell us what he went to prison for. Come on! This is the bread and butter of an alternate universe story, a real character revealing moment, and they just skipped over it. The show takes the understanding that all these Jasons are, essentially, the "same" person in some way, that the things one Jason does reflect the things that another Jason could do, given the right circumstances, but it mostly does it for a "not so different" message.

Alright, let's talk about the universe traveling, which is the main gimmick of the show. It's only really relevant to Jason1 trying to get back, but there's at least one clever twist: the doors in the infinite hallway that expands when you take the drug do not actually matter, as any door can lead to any world, and instead, the world that you end up in depends on what your mind is doing at the moment you open the door.

This is obviously pretty dumb and not how we would expect this thing to work, but I am going to forgive it because it ends up being really neat in terms of what it allows in the story: any door Jason1 opens leads him to a world that reflects his psyche. If he's worried about the life his wife would leave without him, he'll find a world where she's completely fine. If he's worried about her death, he'll find a world where she's dying. Unfortunately, the show doesn't do all that much psyche-exploring through this mechanism they've set up, which is one of my main problems with the show: it doesn't seem like it wants to go that deep.

There's an upcoming game called The Alters where you're an astronaut on an alien planet who uses some quantum machinery to pull in "alters" of yourself from other timelines. You're doing this because you need people with different skills to repair your ship or whatever, but they have a whole map of every life choice the protagonist has ever made, and look, I just played the demo so maybe it's shit, but they did seem to have mapped out multiple points of divergence.

In Dark Matter we mostly just get Jason1 and Jason2. Jason1 is trying to get back to his family and does not really even have that much of an arc. Jason2 does an absolutely hack job of becoming Jason1 and realizes that this is actually not the life he wants (but partly this is because he keeps fucking up).

Starting around episode 8, we get some plot events that I thought did redeem the show a little bit, if only because they were interesting things to do with the idea. Jason1 finally comes back to Universe1 ... and we find out that he's not the only one. There are lots of Jason1s, because through the power of quantum or whatever, they've been multiplying with every decision made during the universe-hopping trip. I don't think it was necessarily handled all that well by the writing or cinematography, but it was interesting, and I found myself re-engaged.

Unfortunately, the show didn't seem to really know what to do at that point. When there are two Jason1s, they can have a conversation with each other, but when there are thirty ... they set up a chat room where the hundreds of Jason1s talk with each other, and we get some fun stuff like them having identical lines of dialogue, and his wife and son get their phones blown up with identical text messages from all the variants. For what seems like a tenuous reason, Daniella decides that one of the Jason1s has special privilege and gloms onto him as the "real" one, which is not supported by the show's rules, and after some thriller stuff, they eventually leave through the Box and go to another universe where they can presumably have normal lives or whatever.

I thought the "hundreds of Jasons" stuff would have made a good story, or maybe a movie. It's "wouldn't it be fucked up if" scifi, "wouldn't it be fucked up if there were three hundred of your husband and they were all fighting to be the one that's married to you". I kind of want to write my own basic version of that story, with the other stuff stripped away. Actually, now that I think about it, I did write a story like that, but about a man who got his brain uploaded and ends up linking up with the others, who gets an automated response from his college girlfriend saying "I know this is unique for you, but versions of you contact me at least twice a day". I wrote that fifteen years ago or something like that, so it's probably not very good.

The problem for Dark Matter is that they don't really care about the mechanics of the scifi, and it makes the whole rest of the story feel less substantial than it might otherwise have. The hundreds of Jasons thing ends up being a pretty substantial plot hole, on top of a few other gaps.

The rest of this review is just going to be me working out the shape of these holes, sorry.

To start with, the Box is created in universe 2, and when it does its superposition thing, it seems as though the Box gets placed in new universes at the point when the door opens. From what we know, the Box is always in the same location, sometimes underwater, sometimes underground, but usually in the facility where the box was made, or an abandoned warehouse in universes where that company didn't exist. In a few cases, the Box ends up in a park or something, right out in the open. This isn't really explained, and I got the sense the show creators didn't care about it, but it felt like it should be important, especially when Jason exits a Box in the middle of a park and then just ... leaves? As though there's no risk that someone is going to come along and cordon this artifact off, at the very least?

There's also the issue that the box supposedly only works if the door is closed (something something observer effect) but this does sort of not work well with the mechanics of what happens later. Leaving the door open would mean that no one could enter that universe through the Box, unless traveling to a universe closes the Box, but for there to be hundreds of Jasons in the final episode I think it's pretty much a requirement that you can come into a universe even if the Box is closed. It was one of those small things that irritated me because it had implications for how it all worked and was never clarified. (Jason2 does at one point encase the Box in concrete to prevent entry, which I guess he wouldn't do if you could just leave the door open, but ... what happens if the center of the box is filled? What happens if there's stuff in the way? Very unclear.)

The biggest problem for the show is that it's got the Whole Damned Multiverse, and logically, you should be seeing tons of Jasons even before the eighth episode. It should be happening before the start of the show, in fact, because by their logic Jason2 should have shown up eighty different times. (It would have been cool and clever for Jason2 to have some kind of solution to this that Jason1 was ignorant of, but nope.) Having a bunch of Jasons show up is cool, but it essentially nukes the rest of the show. The whole premise of Universe 2 is that no Jason2 ever came back, and that two other test subjects went out and never came back, and ... that shouldn't be the case, right? Funny enough, there's a part where they run into one of the test subjects who's been traveling the multiverse and ended up in a hellish supermosquito world, and ... there have got to be tons of her out there too, right? So they didn't run into her, they ran into a version of her. That's not a plot hole, just a funny bit of recontextualizing, and it makes what felt like a weird random coincidence a bit more logical.

When episode eight came out, and it was revealed there were multiple Jasons, I actually had a different theory about where they were coming from. You see, obviously there's not just Universe 2, there are infinitely many variants of Universe 2, which means infinite variants of Jason2, who had traveled around to get to variants of Universe 1 and Jason1. But assuming that all those Jason1s put Jason2 in Universe 2, I thought it would be a neat twist for all the Jason1s to come back to a universe that wasn't their own, but instead, the idealized version of home. There are billions of Jason1s, all with their small variations, but they're seeking out universes through force of will and mental models, and those probably aren't as varied. There must necessarily be a universe where Jason1's wife cheats on him and he never knew about it, but that's not the universe that he would go back to, he would go back to one where his wife is as perfect as he's been thinking this entire time. But no, it's that the Jason1s were multiplying.

The show somewhat ambitiously sets up a bunch of things for a second season. There are people lost in the multiverse, and at least one scene that had an "I want to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative" vibe. Jason's story felt like it was over to me, but there are at least four secondary characters that could potentially have some kind of plot happen involving them.

Is it good scifi? I would say that it's not. They don't care about the mechanics of multiverse travel, and by the standards of the multiverse, there's nothing that really wowed me. Even the apocalypse planets felt dreary and unimaginative: nuclear fallout, plagues, rising waters, frigid cold ... the supermosquitos were the only one that I really liked. There are two utopia worlds, and the one we spend the most time in is pretty lame. Funny enough, they say that they've discovered cold fusion and Jason just ... doesn't seem to care about that, or about bringing back the technology to his own world. Say what you want about Sliders, but at least it showed a lot of creativity.

So the show that I'm left with is one that cares a lot about its characters and all their varieties, and that's also not everything it could be. I wanted more backstory on Jason, more understanding of how he became the person he is, more on who he could have been, given the right pushes at the right times.

[charleslee-valentine]

For the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Fan Works Event Day 5: The Saw is Family

Ship(s): Lefton

Word Count: ~2,000

Warnings: Pregnancy and sexual themes, pregnant ftm trans character, discussion of abortion and miscarriage, implied abusive family dynamics, period typical transphobia, brief misunderstanding about consent.

note: This is the groundwork of an au where Drayton is Sissy’s father who raises her like a brother, rather than being just her brother. Inspired by this post from @fry-house

@texas-chainsaw-fanworks

________

Still living with his mother, it was nothing short of humiliating that he fell pregnant.

Leave it to Drayton to get himself knocked up just as soon as he got even a few folks to recognize his chosen name. Even mama was starting to be willing to call him by something other than a throwaway nickname like “girl.”

Not if he comes home with a round belly.

Boude would be the one to know what to do, but he’s also the one waving his dick around gettin’ people pregnant. One time. Let him get that horrible thing near him just once, and he ends up with child.

He’s heard the horror stories. About men like him so desperate to not carry a little one to term they end up bleeding out in their own bathrooms. That could never be his choice. Drayton’s too much of a coward to take his own shots, let alone perform an operation on himself.

He’ll have the baby. It’s just, he doesn’t have to pretend to be thrilled about it.

Can’t un-dead this rabbit, though he’ll certainly try to ignore it as long as he can.

When mama's sister Nancy was pregnant, she was out working on the farm ‘til she couldn’t even stand anymore. He’s got at least three or four more months in him before he’s resting in bed.

Except Nancy never had her baby. Maybe following after her isn’t the best idea.

Cold, sickening dread settles heavy in every bone that makes up Drayton body. Some things you just can’t wish away. Like the damned organs in his body that make it possible for him to even be in this mess, God knows Drayton tried to wish that the lady parts away.

Maybe this is punishment. A cruel fucking trick from the big guy in the sky himself for changing what ought not to be. Too damn bad God gets to sit on clouds all day while there’s mortals in their human body’s going through the evil he placed onto this earth. So fucking what if being a predestined, pretty little baby factory wasn’t the life Drayton wanted.

Damn it all to hell. Burn the bridges of the past self.

As much as he hates to admit it, if he’s going to be this stubborn, he can’t do it alone.

Already he’s suffocating under the weight. Or maybe he needs to loosen the bandages some. It’s the same damn issue either way, and he needs his boy to help fix it.

Drayton usually pays his visits under the guise of business. Trading meat for dairy, wool for fruit. Just in case the folks are home and he shows up without reason knowing damn well they don’t approve.

Though that cover today doesn’t go as gracefully as he’d hoped.

The packages he and mama wrapped up this morning for the job smelled something awful. Usually it don’t bother him at all, being raised in meat and everything, but he was off the path and hurling up his guts before he was even halfway to the neighbors. Heightened sensibilities.

That’s of course, how Lefty found him. Doubled over in the weeds. Sweaty and pale and a disheveled goddamn mess. No worse than the done deed itself, Drayton supposed. At least this time, he wasn’t totally vulnerable.

Still, he’d like to not be gawked at. He swipes the back of his sleeve, pulled over his hand, at his mouth, “You just gon’ stand there, Enright?”

“Right. Sorry.” Lefty goes into action mode quick, taking both of Draytons hands and steadying him, letting him choose how much contact he needs. Drayton settles for leaning into his side, so Lefty throws one arm around him to support him best he can. They walk together, at a pace set by the weaker one between them.

Growing a human ain’t easy work.

It’s silent until Lefty asks, hesitant but too concerned to let the unknown linger, “You.. alright, Dray?”

Before he can stop himself, Drayton scoffs, “You should know..”

Those big blue eyes sparkle with worry and remorse, “Did I do something?”

If he weren’t relying on him to walk, he’d be pushing the oblivious asshole away, “Oh yes sir. Oh-ho yes…”

Lefty gets him into his yard and sits Drayton down on a random crate, taking away the little excuse package. Thankfully nobody else from the Enright family is home at the moment, won’t be for a while either, so they’re free to talk in the open air. Mama’s lazy ass surely won’t come snooping.

Maybe he shouldn’t say that about her; Drayton’s not the only one going to have a baby. Mama’s six months or so along. Just a few ahead of her son. That’s half the reason he’s fucking terrified. Having kids that close together, they might as well be siblings.

Lefty don’t know the reason yet to be afraid as he should be, so he keeps prodding, “Whatever I done.. Let me make it right, lover.”

He’ll blame the sickness for how red his face gets, a fever at fault for the warmth under his skin. Blame that quickly turns into frustration and lashing out at him, “This one, you can’t fix. Can’t just, fuck it away, ‘cause- ‘cause thats the damn problem, you hear!”

Lefty’s face sinks. The dread and the anguish in his features, tells Drayton he gets the wrong implication.

He sounds like he’s choking, “I’m sorry, I-I thought we both..”

Drayton cuts him off. Angry as he is, he doesn’t want that kind of anguish in Boude’s heart.

“You’d be right, Enright. But it’s your damn hair-trigger got us into this mess anyhow.”

Confusion. Revelation. Something else unreadable. Almost.. pleasant.

“Are you telling me you’re-“

“Yessir.”

“Drayton that’s-“

“Don’t tell me. I don’t need your damn opinions. I’m keeping it, damn it.”

Really, he shouldn’t be as confident as he is. Lefty Enright can be trusted, sure, but that don’t change that he’s an open transsexual, and now a pregnant one at that. A poor little farmer's child in the most fragile of situations, acting like he has total control.

His Boude is more than used to that. Lefty smiles gently, “I was going to say it’s great.”

“You’re not the one lugging it with you.” Drayton counters.

He won’t argue that it’s a positive. Or even that it’s amazing really. Every part of him is just so afraid, so not used to this particular struggle on top of all the others that he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. Really, he feels guilty for taking it all out on his boy.

The very same who so heroically offers, “I would if I could. For you.”

Lefty bullies his way onto the crate seat next to Drayton and holds him. Proving even more of his gentle and sweet nature. His face won’t show it, but Drayton knows he’s desperate. Trying to be heard.

His heart wants to give in. So badly. To roll over and show his (swelling) belly and let Lefty have the validation. For the moment, he’ll indulge some, by leaning heavily into his embrace.

Something rises up. Not just bitter bile, but even harsher words. Mostly, dear.

“That don’t make you some saint, you know that? You still got an unwedded man, a queer, pregnant.”

And then he hurls onto the grass. Instant Karma.

Lefty just rubs his back through it. Soothes him. Only argues with him a little bit, “But I’m a lover, right? A partner, who done nothing but care for your little ass. That makes me a father too.”

A father. They both will be.

They’re only young. Not too young to handle it, but life just started for real. Popping kids out is a lifelong investment to no longer goin’ sneaking. Experimenting. Whatever you could call what it is they’ve been doing together.

It’ll be expected that they get married right away. Before this damn bump starts to show itself would be ideal. A nightmare for someone whose legal name on the certificate wouldn’t match the one his favorite people know him by.

Drayton isn’t ready to face those realities. He shakes his head, pulls away from Lefty just a little, “We can worry about that in a few months.”

It’s not outright denial. He wants Lefty involved and that is thankfully obvious. The intricacies really can wait. For the sake of him not losing his mind already.

Lefty agrees, focusing on the present as well, “What do you want from me right now?”

“Take me inside. Please.” Drayton holds his arms up, finally allowing himself to be as weak as he feels.

He’s not expecting to be fully lifted up and carried there, but since he’d just delivered some relatively life changing news, he’ll let that slide as well.

Lefty assures, as strong willed as he is physically tough, “We’ll figure it out, Dray.”

That’s not the part Drayton was afraid of. He never doubted that Lefty would want to do right by the kid. A man who places that much value on his family isn’t going to just kick a child he’d created to the curb.

His partner is maybe another story.

Lefty loves him and he loves Lefty, easy, but it’s not been as simple navigating what that meant when halfway into their almost decade long relationship, Drayton confessed the truth about the disconnect between body and identity. His boy has always been perfect with it, which is what makes it so terrifying. Unlikely as it is, there’s always that whisper that he’s only been pretending to accept it.

Now that Draytons put out, and of course got knocked up on the very first time doing so, there’s no real reason to keep him around. Lefty could pick up the kid on the weekends, settle down with a nice woman. Move the hell on.

They’re so in sync at this point, Boude sort of reads his mind, “I’m not gonna leave you.”

Tears burn in his eyes and ball up his throat with emotion. Drayton just nods a little in acknowledgment of his boy, not saying a word still.

It’s exactly what he was thinking and it still blindsides him. Some wounds, like the ones that come to be when his daddy left years ago, well maybe they never close up.

Lefty can’t take the silence. He tries to prompt, “I lov-“

“Enough.” Drayton stops him there. He knows it already. But talking about it isn’t his thing. Loving somebody is enough without all the sappy bullshit. “I’m not ready to talk.”

Lefty looks sad. Frowns a little bit. But he doesn’t argue. Never does. That sort of makes Drayton feel worse.

But they really will talk. One day down the line. Give it some time and he’ll be ready.

He places a hand on his belly. The baby is too small to be moving yet. Probably about the size of a pebble. There’s time. Mama will have her baby first, almost like a trial run.

Yeah.

They’ll be able to do this.

Shaking, Drayton takes Enright’s hand. He doesn’t know what to do with it, it’s awkward, but he wants to show him, in some minute way, that he gives a shit about him too.

A small smile is all the acknowledgement he gets. It’s enough.

Hopefully it’ll be enough to save them until Drayton is ready to talk more. Best he can do now is stay curled up in Lefty’s arms for the few hours he’s able. Going back home at the end of the day won’t be easy, it never is, but neither will parenthood be, so. Guess it works out anyhow.

[avkizi]

⌗ 𝟔. stockings ; what is your family like? what are your relationships with different members? any extended family? who is visiting for christmas?

(answering for my obx and mha drs ♡)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

obx dr: my family is lowkey complicated so ima try and break it down best i can. i have my mom (fc/vc: constance wu), my stepdad (fc/vc: ryan reynolds), and my little stepbrother (fc/vc: adam project era walker scobell).

my moms name is clarity miyazaki, and i literally love her to death shes so amazing. we can and will talk abt literally every and anything. she's super chill, and is a stay at home mom, but sometimes will voluenteer at an aquarium on the mainland. we used to live over on the cut, but literally my whole mf life changed after she met my stepdad.

so my stepdad in this dr is literally just, like, ryan reynolds. like he still acts and everything, but he's not with blake or anything. him and my mom met and got married when i was in 4th grade, and we moved into a house with him and my little brother on figure eight. he's also really chill as a parent and is super funny, and sometimes brings me on work trips or to cool events.

my little brother's name is walker reynolds (don't even) and he's mostly based off of a combo of young walker scobell and one of my cr friend's little brothers. he's 11 and is very snarky, and loves jj with all of his entire heart. sometimes he's a little shit but i love him anyways.

i'm not really connected with my mom's side of the family (they r all in japan lmao) but my stepdad's family is really nice and fully treats me like i'm one of his kids, so it's okay.

mha dr: god i feel like i've talked about my mha dr family/backstory so much but i cannot help if for i am but a girl so buckle in.

my father (aka takami) was not the best (see hawks backstory) and despite having a wife and 5 year old kid (tomie and kei) ended up getting a woman with a nocturnal quirk (not his wife) pregnant. my bio mom died right after i was born, so he had to raise me. me and kei ended up getting pretty close despite being half siblings with a 6 year age gap, and just refer to each other as siblings atp.

kei got scouted by the hspc when i was 9, and moved him to a long-term facility when i was 11. i ran away a couple months later due to being neglected (shit mom), and lost contact with my entire family for a little over a year. i was pretty much mia for that time, and by sheer fucking luck ended up in a warehouse fire. kei was one of the heroes on the scene and recognized me. long story short(er) he filed to become my legal guardian, and he's pretty much the only bio family i have left.

rumi's like my older sister in a lot of ways, and is just chillin in our apartment more often than not, and i've gotten really close with 1/2-A since starting UA, so i'd consider them family, even though we're not like blood related or whatever.

[autumnapricot]

I looooove your writing!! I'm so excited for whatever you decide to gift us next <3

I have a question though, and I mean this in an inspired and curious, not an offensive way: Do you ever have a moment when you're like... what am I doing here writing rpf omegaverse mpreg fanfiction on the internet? I have some ideas and want to write too but I always feel a little weird at the idea because most people I know in my life would shame every aspect of that and think it's so weird, you know? :(

no no no, anon, listen. wrong mindset baby. your friends? ordinary. boring. they got nothing going on for themselves. you? extraordinary. creative and dedicated and blessing other people with your art. 💅

on a more serious note, no worries i‘m absolutely not offended in any way, because yes, sometimes when i think about it too much i do kind of like stop and think…damn. what am i doing? people my age are actually having babies and buying houses sheesh.

and i think unfortunately writing fanfiction is shamed by society, like it‘s accepted for teenagers, but it‘s seen as weird when older/ grown people do it, which is very much a shame itself. i personally admit that no one irl really knows i write fanfic, not even my partner (i will grill his arse rn and say that he knows that i‘m writing but not what exactly, and if he ever went through my docs on the phone…his english is not good enough to read it lol) or my best friend or other friends because yeah, i too think they would think of it as ‚weird‘ or ‚childish‘

however. i love writing. and if i feel inspired to write, i will. and i know that i have read so so many fanfics from other people in my life that even were more amazing, thought-through, and written beautifully than actual books by actual authors, and it would be an absolute shame if i would‘ve never been able to read them because these talented authors felt too scared to write and post them.

so if i may give you some advice—do it anyway. whatever you love to do, do it. your friends think it‘s weird? they don‘t have to know, (lovingly) fuck them. write the things you want to write if that is what you want to do. i sound like an old granny here haha but personally i‘ve held myself back in the past from so many things because i was too afraid of what some friends would say or if anyone would judge it, only to later on reflect and realize, fuck, i would‘ve loved to do that and i regret putting other people‘s opinion of how to enjoy my life over my own.

long story short—write all the damn fanfics you wish to! life is too short! let the f1 men get each other pregnant! 💃🏼💅🥰

[thatguywiththefaceog]

Kinktober 2023 Day 25-Pregnancy

Gravity Falls-wendip

While at a nude beach, a pregnant Wendy gets Dipper to film them having sex

written by @kinktober2023

requested by anon

This story is rated E for explicit. It is for mature audiences only. All characters are over 18. NSFW under the cut.

It was a reasonably warm Saturday, so Wendy decided it was the best time to pay a visit to her favorite clothing optional beach. As her husband, Dipper, drove them there, she placed her hand over her swollen stomach. The red head was five months pregnant and she and Dipper were very excited.

They drove to the parking lot and stepped out of the car and grabbing their stuff, made their way over to the changing booths. Dipper looked nervous. "Are you sure this is the best place to be right now? Being naked around others usually turns you on and-"

"I don't get off on being naked! This about being close to your natural-"

"Honey, I love you and I know you. You say it's not a sex thing, but it is. You do get off being naked in front of strangers a bit. You are very good at keeping that in check most of the time. But you are pregnant and your hormones have been making you very horny. And I worry you won't be able to control yourself. I just don't want you to be kicked out of your favorite place."

Wendy sighed. "Okay, I understand your concerns. But I'm an adult and I can control myself. Now take off your shorts."

The nude couple made their way to an open spot. Wendy, who tried to spend most of her time nude more often than not, didn’t really have any tan lines while Dipper butt was distinctly paler than the rest of him. Not only was Wendy’s crotch in its normal state of being super bushy, she hadn't shaved her legs or pits in a bit either. Her normally b-cups had swollen to c-cups due to the pregnancy. Dipper tugged along behind her, his eight inches dick flopping around free. He too had some pubic hair but no nowhere near as much as his wife. He also had grown a bit of chest hair in adulthood. He was half chub as he had a good look at his wife’s freckled ass. It made him excited no matter how many times he had seen it.

They set up their umbrellas and beach towels. Wendy started applying sunscreen to her nude body. She started with her face and arms, asking Dipper if it was too visible on her face. When he told her it was fine, she moved onto her baby bump. Okay it was more like baby hill at this point. Then she moved onto her breasts. As she rubbed the lotion onto her bare breasts out in the open in eye shot of several people, she felt something stir. Damn it, don't let Dipper be right.

"Hey Dip, you got my back?"

Dipper was just finishing applying sunscreen on himself. "Yeah."

He squirted some more sunscreen between his hands and rubbed them together before spreading it across her back. This was a bad idea Wendy thought as her whole body shivered. As he rubbed Wendy’s back, Dipper felt her ass rub against his cock.

"Wendy."

"I need it Dipper, I need it so fucking bad."

"Honey, people can see."

"I want them to see."

"But do they want to see it?"

Wendy groaned. She stopped rubbing herself against Dipper’s now fully erect penis. He was right of course. This was a family clothing optional beach. She could hear some children playing. Fortunately this wasn’t the first time Wendy had been horny at the beach. “We can go to the alcove,” Dipper told her.

Wendy groaned. “Alright but grab the phone.” Dipper took her cell phone and the naked couple tried to be discreet as they made their way to bone. They found the rock cliff and made their way behind it. Dipper laid down on his back while Wendy straddled him. His fully erect cock pressed against her pussy lips.

“This is gonna be a great video. My fans are gonna love it.” While Dipper was working as an undergrad in paranormal studies, Wendy had made a career of producing photos and videos for Onlyfans. Dipper was reluctant to help in his wife’s videos, after some prodding he agreed to help as long as his identity was kept anonymous. So his face was never shown and he did his best to keep his voice down. While they wouldn’t be able to stream this live at the beach, Wendy could still post the video after the fact.

Dipper turned on the video on the phone and pointed it at his wife as she rubbed her pregnant stomach. “Hey guys it’s Wendy. I’m just chillin’ here at the beach. And I’m super horny. Don’t worry, I got Big D with me. Say hi Big D.” Dipper waved his boner around like he was waving. “Let’s have fun shall we?”

With a little difficulty Wendy raised her body and lowered herself onto Dipper’s cock. “Aw, Big D.” She found her rhythm, bouncing on Dipper’s manhood. With one hand free, Dipper put it on Wendy’s hips. Wendy placed hers on his. Dipper bucked back into her. Her breasts shook with each thrust and bounce. Her swollen boobs mixed with her hard nipples made for quite the sight. The sounds of waves lapping mixed with the sound of flesh slapping together and their moans and grunts.

Dipper alternated between shooting his wife’s chest, their connected privates, and the bliss on her face. “Ngh, fuck!” Wendy came, her walls squeezing Dipper’s cock. In response Dipper gave in and came too. His cum flooded her occupied womb. Dipper pulled out, making sure to capture his cum dripping out of her pussy.

“Poor, if I wasn’t already knocked up that would have done the trick. Thanks Big D. Hope you liked the show.” She winked at the camera. Dipper stopped filming. Handing Wendy a tissue, she cleaned herself up. The couple relieved themselves out in the sand. “Thanks Dipper.”

“I told you so.” She gave him a playful punch on his shoulder. He kissed her cheek.

She stood up, stretching herself. “Come on, let’s go swimming!”

Taking his hand, they both emerged from behind the rocks and ran toward the ocean.

[erigold13261]

Please tell us that Matvey is getting what he deserved. As in alone and miserable looking at his daughter being successful. (Once again, fuck people who beat their children. Everyone deserves a second chance but still. I have a bad feeling he didn’t change even if there were chances.)

I... don't think he has changed at all. I kinda WANT him to, just so I can use him more as a character in Tatiana's life because I like his design, but in all reality I do not see someone like Matvey ever changing even if given many chances, which he was.

So he is probably the same bitter asshole that hurt Tatiana and drove Anatoli away. Honestly, I can see Calina leaving him because of his controlling nature, and possibly she got pregnant again and did not want him to hurt this other child or possibly her once Anatoli left their lives.

I don't think he would be miserable though. If anything, he is probably happy to not have a family. I have this idea in my head that his family was extremely traditional, so once he got married he felt obliged to have a kid that he didn't want. And once Alyona died, he was just so angry and upset that he was "saddled" with Tatiana that he started changing and taking his anger out on her. The same anger that his father took out on him when he was young. (He was offered to let Tatiana stay with the rest of the Qwartz family but he took that as an insult and kept Tatiana out of principle instead of love).

And that abuse he had as a child is not an excuse to his actions, but an explanation. Matvey chose to continue the cycle of abuse that his parents placed on him. And instead of being like Neon's parents, who changed after losing their first kid (or at least were willing to change if Neon gave them a chance that he was obviously not obligated to give them), Matvey doubled down and probably got a lot worse.

He probably doesn't even know Tatiana is the same person as his son as I don't see him keeping up with news and also just flat out refusing to see his "son" as a woman, still deadnaming Tatiana and complaining about both his sons being miserable traitors to the family whenever he talks about Tatiana or Anatoli to any friends he might still have (probably also abusers who tell him he did nothing wrong and all the blame is on the rest of his family, only furthering their toxicity).

So yeah. Matvey is not going to become some nice guy or have a change of heart. I can see Tatiana and Anatoli meeting up at some point and maybe thinking of inviting their father over so they can talk and see if he changed. Or maybe at some huge get-together Neon suggests Tatiana invites her father as he is inviting his own parents and that maybe her father changed (which she would only agree to if she and Anatoli talked because even though Matvey didn't change, it looked like he did because he treated Anatoli better than Tatiana, but that was only because Anatoli was not trans, and it wasn't much better).

Well he didn't change, and I can see him making some incredibly asshole-y comments or causing a scene that gets Purl to try and fight him (Purl you are strong, but I'm sorry he is going to destroy you) which either has Tatiana or Joust step in to break up the fight/fight Matvey. Honestly, I would love it to be Joust because when they were younger Tatiana would fight Joust's dad for being abusive to him and this would be Joust's way of finally repaying Tatiana back (not that she ever wanted to be repayed, but Joust has always wanted to make it up to her for how awesome and supportive she was).

Okay, sorry! I am rambling now ideas I want to play with one day when I have time! Long story short! Matvey is not changing and is not miserable unfortunately. He has a successful business making specialized clocks/watches that help timekeepers stay grounded when messing with times, but also fixing old clocks and watches. Something that Tatiana and Anatoli were supposed to learn how to do, but neither wanted to carry on the family business (even though Anatoli kept his watch and passed it down to Cyril).

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 53 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

After our big fight, things became so much better.

I felt like I was able to get off my chest all the things that had been weighing on me since our forceful separation by Theo.

I also learned the extent of an Alpha's protectiveness over their mate, which is insanely intense and now I know not to push his boundaries.

It was unfair of me to let Jay go unchecked for so long.

I told Daemon everything about what had happened at school.

How Trent targeted me and almost killed me.

There was no stopping his vengeance then.

He and Lucien had him expelled and put under house-arrest.

Daemon wanted to banish him from the pack altogether but the council thought it was too harsh of a punishment for someone so young.

That was BS, in my opinion.

Daemon seethed about it for days.

As for me, I've been working on my stability.

Daemon helps, of course, ensuring I take my medication every night and that I eat enough.

I hate feeling like a burden to be taken care of but Daemon assures me that he loves me every time, giving me endless affection that practically makes me melt into his arms.

I love him more than anything.

I've been trying to better myself in different ways, like exercise or reading and while I'm no where near completely okay and don't think I will be for a long time, I feel like for once I'm just fine as I am.

I haven't spoken to Jay.

My friends and I avoid him at all costs at school and since summer is fast approaching, I really don't think we'll have a reconciliation before then.

Not that I want one.

He crossed the line. I understand that now.

And I respect and care for Daemon too much to ever let something like that happen again.

Wren isn't really allowed to associate with him either after Tristan found out about how Jay got him pregnant and ditched him after their hookup.

Wren says that after he told his mate the whole story Tristan wanted to rip Jays head off.

So yeah... Jay's not exactly on best terms with two of the most feared Alphas in the pack.

Daemon has also tried to lay off his crazy possessiveness, even despite looking like he wanted to rip off the head of an Alpha that flirted with me at my work the other day, unaware my mate was sitting at a table just a few feet away.

But he's trying for me and I love him for that.

I also have been trying to shut people down more directly so my kindness isn't taken advantage of again.

Another good thing is I've finally gained some substantial weight.

Gone is the hollowness of my stomach and the sharp boniness of my limbs.

I've filled out my figure nicely and it drives Daemon wild when I flaunt it.

The other day I wore a tight pair of shorts and a cropped tank out on a date and teased him the entire time.

I got what I wanted eventually because the second we got home and he all but ripped the outfit off and fucked me right there in the entry way.

I wear whatever I want because Daemon can fight.

I know that all too well.

And yeah, everything is perfect.

Except... well, except for the fact that I can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched.

I try to ignore it.

I mean, paranoia is a symptom of PTSD, so it could just be that.

And I don't want to let my mental problems rule my life.

But... it's just so there. Like I can feel it.

I haven't told Daemon, not because I don't want to but because I want him to believe I'm getting better.

He's been so proud of me lately for taking care of myself and not letting the negative emotions take hold of me and I feel that if I bring this up all that progress will go down the drain.

He'll think I'm back to my crazy, fearful ways.

And it's probably nothing. It has to be.

Daemon and I are out on a hike, courtesy of my new quest for self improvement.

He doesn't really like hiking but the second I said that I'd just go alone while I'm in preheat he sprung into action, grumbling as he pulled his boots on.

If there's one thing he'll never risk, it's my safety.

My friends call him overprotective but I adore it.

He doesn't even let me sleep downstairs on the couch when I doze off watching T. V. always scooping me up and taking me up to the bed room.

When he told me that it's because if an intruder broke in somehow I would be the first one they'd get to my heart absolutely melted.

Overcome with how much I love him I squeeze his hand, look to my right where he walks beside me.

He glances over and I can't help but smile, stopping our trek to pull him down and stand on my tip toes so I can press a kiss to his cheek.

A pleased expression comes to his face.

"What was that for?"

I nuzzle into his side as he wraps an arm around me.

"Oh, nothing. I just love you."

His eyes soften in affection, kissing me back but on the lips this time.

"My pretty baby," he coos and I giggle as he attacks me with more kisses on my face.

Yep. We are totally the lovey-dovey couple that people hate.

Lylah always acts like she's going to barf when Daemon can't keep his hands off me when we're all hanging out.

I never tell him to stop, though.

"Am I really that pretty?" I ask up at him and he raises an eyebrow in question.

"Ever looked in a mirror?"

I flush, loving the way it makes me feel when he calls me pretty.

I'm really starting to believe it now and it's a nice change compared to previously thinking I was ugly and disgusting my whole life.

"You know I'm serious, right? You're the most beautiful Omega I've ever seen," he continues, his eyes darkening with how serious he is and at this point I think I'm as red as a tomato.

I look down, the smile on my face literally hurting my cheeks at this point.

"Oh my God," I breathe.

"You're as bad at taking my compliments as ever," he jokes, pulling me against his chest and I hide in it.

"I-It's just overwhelming for me."

"You're the one who asked."

"Well... that's because I like when you say it," I confess embarrassingly, curling my hands into the fabric of his shirt.

"You're adorable," he rumbles, kissing my head as he strokes my hair behind my ear.

We start walking again but it's not long before I have to pee.

Daemon crosses his arms.

"Just go. No one's here."

"You're here," I pout up at him.

"Baby, are you forgetting that I've eaten you out on my father's dining table? There's no reason to be so shy," he smirks as my face explodes with color and I glare at him, smacking his chest.

"Naughty Alpha," I scold before marching off behind a tree.

I spot a shadow in the corner of my vision the second I'm behind the tree and no sooner is a wrinkled hand grabbing my arm and pulling me towards a large figure.

"Daemon..." I scream in terror as an Alpha's one green eye bores into my own, my stomach tightening in fear.

I need to get away.

In seconds my mate is there, wrenching me away from the man and into his arms.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he growls at him as his hold on me tightens in protectiveness.

I let out a shaky breath as I look back at the Alpha.

He looks dirty, like he hasn't had a proper bathe in ages.

His hair is gray and long, strings of it falling over the hard lines of his face.

A huge scar runs across the left side of his face, right over his the socket of where an eye used to be.

But he still has the other... And that eye.

That eye that, once I look at long enough, turns my world upside down.

That's my eyes.

"Ash," the man says in a broken, raspy voice.

I shake my head, a sob catching in my throat as I look at him, at the expression on his face.

"Ash Willow. That's your name, right?" he asks in a pleading voice, stepping towards us.

"No, you back the fuck up," Daemon threatens, his body tensing around me. "I don't know who you are but..."

"D-daddy?" I finally manage to choke out the words, feeling like I'll faint.

"Yes... It's me, it's daddy."

The man's face seems to light up, crinkling in a desperate smile as his eyes gloss over with unshed tears.

"How? I... I can't, how can this..."

I barely get a few words out before I start to feel lightheaded.

My knees buckle and I fall into Daemon who's quick to scoop me up into his arms.

I bury my face into his chest, hyperventilating until my world goes black.

[mystiika]

re; isaac's survival guilt

this post is not for the faint of heart so proceed at your own risk. in this i cover his mother ( amelia ), his brother ( camden ), his father ( simon ), erica, boyd, ending with allison. then at the end i go into how isaac managed confront the feeling at all & manage it the best he can

as time passed, his comfort asking his father about his mother dwindled, & cam was finding it increasingly difficult to remember things to tell isaac about their mother. isaac had been given the box mentioned in amelia's info post over here. along with a bunch of loose photos cam had collected for him — mostly of their mother & a good few of her while pregnant with isaac. at first he liked it a lot, he got to hear stories about this woman who'd loved him so much & how amazing she was. but then he started to really understand it all.

he started to notice this loss when he compared himself to his peers. where so many people had a mother's arms to run to, he was shown the outstretched hand of his big brother. where others would excitedly make mother's day cards, isaac was reminded that on top of no mother, he had no grandmother or aunts to substitute with. at first he'd made "mother's day" cards for his father, then for cam, then eventually he'd write a short note of things he wanted her to know about him & how he was doing. then once he was old enough not to be forced into it, he stopped it all together.

& as he got a litte bit older, he was slowly given more & more reminders that he was the reason she'd died. he didn't want to die, he never did. but when there's an onslaut of threats & gaslighting, h'd started to regret being born the slightest bit. if he hadn't, then his dad would be happier, cam would have his mom still, & he didn't didn't have to walk on eggshells for fear of encurring his father's wrath.

he never felt mad at her though, not really. &, from everything he's heard about her, he knows it's not an outcome she would have ever chosen & can't fault her for not knowing the future. but hewas angry about a lot of things, the number of which only increased as he got older, but never at her. instead he felt so unimaginably bad, overwhlemingly guilty just for waking up in the morning. & once he got a little older still, he started to question whether it really was his doing. cam had been saying it all along but isaac found it hard to believe for a long time. then when he felt doubts, that's when he started to get angry at his father.

& despite figuring out the truth of it all, he still had to actively stop himself from blaming himself for what happened, that none of it was his fault & that he didn't really deserve what was happening to him. once cam left home, it was hard for this voice of reason not to be overshadowed by the ever increasing reminders of just how much he was to blame.

then came the news that cam had gone missing in action & was declared dead. isaac wanted to grieve, but couldn't find it in himself, it hadn't really sunk in. he felt a little numb afterwards if he was totally honest, like he was going through all the motions but he couldn't cry. cam had been his protector, his best friend & confidante, his favourite person in the entire world, & a better role model than isaac could have asked for. cam was the only reason isaac felt loved growing up, & truth be told, he was afraid that he'd used up all the love the universe had granted him. he felt undeserving of any more than that. he was such a fuck up, maybe cam only loved him because they were brothers — after all, that was part of his fathers doctrine.

& with no one else to blame except maybe himself, simon put the fault on isaac once again. if he wasn't such a terrible son, a terrible brother, maybe cam wouldn't have run off to join the military. isaac was the reason he'd been driven from their home just as it was isaac's life that had taken amelia's. the way simon berated him, kicked it was as if isaac had killed them with his own two hands.

&so the guilt just for being alive grew larger. even if he knew nothing had been his doing, his father's voice & insistance was so loud, echoing in his mind for hours, at times even days. & when chained up in that tiny freezer in their basement, those words were the only things he could hear over his screaming & scratching & pleading to anything listening just to let him out. sometimes he passed out having exhausted himself, other times he wasn't so lucky. it was like a never ending panic attack. then once let out & back in his room, he sobbed nearly every time despite all his best efforts & then he felt so weak, so angry at his father but himself too for being able to do nothing else. he wasn't even sure exactly why he cried. not when there were so many posible reasons he'd never really been able to figure out why. it felt like it was from the exhaustion but being as young as he was, he couldn't understand why that might have been.

then when his father was murdered, he felt such intense relief knowing all those . & he felt so guilty over that feeling. deserving such a brutal death or not, he'd left that house to chase isaac down. later once isaac found out why his father was killed, he felt a little less guilty whether his father died that night or some random night after. it would have happened eventually regardless. but once simon was dead & buried, isaac had to sit with that fact that he was alone. sure he had derek & the others, but they didn't feel like they were his people. he was with them because they had use for each other, that was all. ( monkeys together strong lol )

unfortunately, his family were just the first deaths of people he felt guilty just for outliving them. after all, why him? why was he mistreated from the time he could walk, only to be thrust into the world as a teen ( as a child ) that had nothing? there were lawyers, social workers, teachers, good officers like the sheriff, but that wasn't enough. they helped him as far as what was related to simon's death, but soon enough came the day when his phone didn't ring again. once their jobs were done, what good was talking to a 16 year old just to ask if he needed anything, if he was even okay. 

he was old enough that they couldn't force him into the system but he also had no interest in keeping the house, paying bills with what money? anything his father had was locked away until isaac turned 18. but all his savings were from working at a graveyard & being forklift & backhoe certified didn't do much good for him. 

so he went to derek. the man was isaac's alpha, & if isaac couldn't go to him, what hope would he have for anyone else? all his life he'd lived for someone else, he didn't know how to be his own person & so derek became the newest star for isaac to orbit. they were a pack, he was meant to be able to rely on the alpha, meant to be cared for ( as gruff as the older man was ).

then for a time it was just isaac, erica, boyd, & derek. he didn't care for derek much, he felt grateful he was given an out from his old life, given a means to protect himself as well as others. but he also knew derek was just using him. if it wasn't isaac, it would have been someone else. derek needed a pack, he needed the strength that came with it.

erica was the first person he really grew close to after this new chapter in his life began. scott & his pack all felt more like begrudging allies, rivals even. & derek was, well, derek. erica on the other hand was kind, she was sweet, he had such comradery with her. he finally felt like he was having fun, realising the first time she makes him laugh when he can't remember the last time he had. then boyd joined them. he & isaac never really grew close. they were in the same pack but that was about where their relationship ended. especially since boyd rather wanted to monopolise erica it didn't exactly aid their non existant friendship ( isaac had a crush on her too, though he was so late to realise his feelings he'd lost her before he had the chance to do anything ).

then the two asked him leave with them or to stay in beacon hills & isaac made a decision that still haunts him from time to time. they were supposed to make it to a nearby pack they'd heard about, but it was clear something happened to them & isaac spent the next 4 months non stop searching for his packmates. he found them too, but was attacked & unable to do anything besides retreat on the verse of passing out saved only by braeden, & to come back for them with help. but when he finally did, he was too late & erica was gone. he'd left her there alive. he should have helped her leave on her own two feet instead of carrying her lifeless body past the abandoned bank's threshold. but he couldn't save her, he was too weak. he couldn't protect her & it ate away at him bit by bit just had all the others. he couldn't help but blame himself, thinking that maybe if he'd just gone with them both that night he might have been able to prevent her death. he knew that he was just as inexperienced as them & in all likelihood would have just died with them. but guilt doesn't always follow facts. besides, he already had a tally of 3 graves on his back, what was one more?

afterwards, he managed to lessen the gap between himself & boyd just slightly, both driven by a mutual desire to get revenge on the alphas for killing erica ( along with all the other atrocities that they had committed throughout the years since their formation ). but only just in time to see boyd too become another casualty isaac was left behind to grieve. after their deaths & his ever dwindling faith in derek, he found himself moving towards scott as his new alpha before he knew it. he just wanted to get away from all the loss & grief that seemed to haunt him.

what he didn't expect was to add more names to the list of those he was afraid to lose.

what he didn't expect was to fall in love with allison ( about as in love as he'd had time to do anyway ).

what he didn't expect was to watch her die, twice. once even by his own hand.

her first death was awkward for them both. he'd been selected as both her reaper & guardian. he was forced to hold her underwater, to feel her fighting back against his hands firmly planted on her shoulders & the fear he felt when her fighting stopped. then came the waiting. 16 hours of waiting for her to come back to them, tired but all too wired from anxiety about what would happen if she never woke up at all. he ran it through his head over & over. maybe the worst part of it was the idea of having to live remembering that terrible feeling when he closed his eyes or remembering the sound of her breath escaping her lips beneath the water whenever he heard bubbles, or maybe it was the idea of him having to tell allison's father chris what it was that he had done. 

the second time was a little different. his budding feelings for her clouded his mind with thoughts of envy & jealousy in equal parts at scott being the one to hold her in the end, to hear a final confession of love for her ex as if their time together had meant nothing, that he meant nothing. but all that aside, once again he was left angry at himself, thinking that maybe if he'd done more, been stronger, been faster, been smarter, then he might have been able to stop it. & its also the first time in a long time he wishes it had been him instead. he had the least to live for, the least people to grieve his death, why did everyone else have to die & leave him behind? his heart shattered too frequently, only just shoddily glued back together in time for it to break again & pick up as many pieces as he can.

he didn't know what to do with himself after that, the bulk of the shock wore off faster for himself than the others from the sight of her dying right in front of them. instead he went sooner into the pain from the loss. then chris came to each of them, making sure everyone had their stories straight. isaac seemed quickest on the upkeep, left wondering if all his practice outliving so many made it easier to focus when it came down to it. but that had been the immediate. he remembers afterwards a bit more. sitting in a row, lydia, scott, & himself in dead silence among the ever noisy police station, waiting to be called in to give their statements. it wasn't hard to pretend to be in shock, he knew what that felt like & how it looked. but he also knew his lines — he was sorry, it all happened so fast, one minute things were fine, the next they were attacked & allison fell to the ground. that he couldn't remember anything else. 

then when he didn't have to worry about remembering his lines perfectly, he starts to sit in his thoughts, his tears pricking his eyes, heart aching, stomach sick. he couldn't help but sink into the pain of it all, the regret, the hurt, the fear, the guilt.

he was grateful chris took him home, crying into his shoulder as his arms gripped isaac tight. his life with chris from then on didn't alleviate any of the depression or blame he'd put on himself, but he felt a little less alone. melissa too had been good to him, taking him in after derek kicked him out & isaac was beyond grateful for that, but at some point  after all the time, the days & nights he'd spent at the argent household, he'd started to view chris almost like a father figure — a sentiment that only grew when chris became his guardian, moving to paris together where isaac was able to get a fresh start away from his painful past. 

he's not totally fine in modern day either though. occasionally still feeling the effects of all the trauma & the seemingly never ending guilt that everyone in his life died, abandoning him behind in the land of the living to question over & over again — why him? why not him? but during isaac's final year of high school he got himself into therapy. it helped him process so much from his youth & he learned helpful coping mechanisms for once instead of running or working out to the point of exhaustion, until the point of passing out. & blasting music in his ear all the while in an attempt to drown out any thoughts swirling around in his head, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

eventually the nightmares dwindled, lessening his insomnia & even now the nights he lies awake stewing in his negative thoughts were fewer. he felt a little less angry at the world too, for the hand he'd been dealt when he'd never even asked for a seat at the table. but he was alive, & knew he needed to make the most of his time, to finally act like a stupid teen instead of a "perfect" child who was forced to grow up too fast.

but for better or worse, he was alive. & originally he had no idea of what he wanted to do after graduation. he never really had the time to consider it, nor did he want to create this dream for himself when he was constantly fighting a balance between life & death. 

reasons for his choice to become a paramedic is a whole other meta BUT, i'm mentioning it as being able to save lives & prevent people from experiencing the same loss he had, made isaac feel a little better. no matter how many people he saves, it will never completely undo the fact he'd been unable to protect those he'd cared about in the past, nor the painful feeling of surviving them all. but with every successful call, it was like he finally found a purpose. if he'd died, he'd never have been able to do what he does & make the difference he had.

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

The last of us - Broken together 6

You stumbled out of the small boat used to cross the river and followed your party in silence. Ellie had narrowly missed being bitten, and had saved Henry and Sam from clickers. You had been trapped between infected and Kathleen's men as they scrambled to get away. One man took the opportunity to grab you and punch you, hitting your wound. It took stabbing him with your knife in the neck to get him off you, only for you to be pounced on by an infected. By the time you'd got further enough away from them Ellie was already crawling under a van to get away.

Joel grabbed your shoulder pulling you along with him as Kathleen was taken down by a clicker.

For hours you all walked, in silence until you came to an old motel. Picking a second floor room you all dropped your things and settled down. You slid into the bathroom and locked the door. To your surprise the fawcett spluttered water into the sink. Enough to wet a cloth and clean your wound. Holding your breath you pulled back your shirt revealing the ripped flesh.

"fuck." You gritted your teeth and pressed the cold cloth to your skin. There was no way you'd be able to stitch it on your own, but you weren't about to worry everyone. Using what you had left of medical supplies you covered it in a gauze and tapped it up as best you could. You grabbed a new shirt from your bag and threw the bloodied one in the bathtub.

When you returned to the other room Joel was cooking some tins of beans, the children were in the bedroom reading a comic book. You dropped onto the sofa as gently as you could without causing suspicion. Joel looked over at you, his eyebrows drawn down in concern.

"I'm fine, just tired." You said. Slowly you zoned out of the conversation again, staring out of the window at the setting sun. Joel handed you a bowl of beans that you held in your hands for a while. Joel tapped your foot with his.

"hey, you gotta eat."

You blinked yourself back to him and nodded.

"sure." You said sitting yourself up straighter and spooning food into your mouth. Joel was talking to Henry both of them fairly serious. You heard parts of it, the story of how he'd got medicine for his brother and you thought back to the things you'd done for Frank's pills. You'd worked with Joel and Tess to do it, but He'd never know what you did in that hospital room. What you had to do to get them while he waited outside. If only you hadn't given your weapons to the guy at the door.

You had slid closer to Joel, your legs and shoulders pressing together. You caught Ellie looking over at you.

Henry commented on the late hour and it was decided the kids should sleep. You followed Joel and him into the bedroom.

"hey, you're a good kid ya know." You told Ellie as she tucked herself into bed. You saw it at times like this, how she looked just like her mum. Anna had been a friend of sorts a long time ago. It had been more than fifteen years since you'd seen her but you had known she was pregnant. There was no denying that this was her child. The knife at her side gave it away if nothing else did.

Joel stood close to you. Ellie smiled.

"listen," she whispered, "if you two wanna play grab ass you should probably go to another room. Don't think Henry wants to see that." She laughed. Joel scowled and you, you tried to ignore the jolt in your heart.

"night short stack." You ruffled her hair and walked out of the room. You sat as far away from Joel as you could without it being awkward. Though it was definitely awkward.

Once Henry had fallen asleep you turned to Joel who had laid himself on the floor so you could have the couch.

"I think, no, I know I knew her mum." You breathed out. Joel looked up at you.

"Ellie's?"

"yeah. Her name was Anna. I met her years ago. Last time I saw her she was pregnant and I left her. I left her alone. She was a firefly and it pissed me off so I just went. If I'd stayed-"

"hey, you can't think like that. We all do shitty things but you didn't get anyone killed okay." He squeezed your knee, "get some sleep, it's been a long day."

You nod and settle down Joel directly below you on the floor. Sleep consumed you but it wasn't restful. Nightmares plagued you until the sun rose in the sky. Before moving you lay still looking up at the aged ceiling testing your breaths against your wound.

"morning sweetheart." You heard Joel as he crossed the room. The nickname stirring something in you. With a grunt you sat up seeing the coffee he was pouring into a flask for you. You held it, letting the warmth fill you. Flipping your legs over the edge you allowed room for Henry to sit on the other end.

"he's pretty tight lipped, what is the situation here?" He asked you.

"oh, there's no story, we were all going the same way I guess. Joel was a friend of my uncle's. Made sense to travel together." You answered.

"looks like more than just some friends." He pushed further. Sighing you stood up.

"I guess that's for us to worry about."

Joel looked back at you both.

"we should get the kids, it'll be a long-" his sentence cut off as Ellie screamed and rushed through the door. Sam followed pouncing ok he r and knocking her to the ground. Joel grabbed for his gun and you tried to lunge forward. Henry hit you in your wound sending you to the ground as he grabbed the gun pointing it at Joel. Ellie called for him, her voice broken and afraid.

Without thinking Henry fired, killing his brother. Ellie pushed his body aside and sat up, tears running down her face. Henry, confused turned the gun on himself. There was no time for you to do anything and he dropped beside you, his blood splattered across your face.

"you okay?" Joel asked Ellie. She nodded. He helped you to your feet and without saying a word the three of you moved in unison. You grabbed Sam in your arms and Joel lifted Henry. Ellie ran down the maintenance closet grabbing shovels. A short distance from the motel you worked together to dig two shallow graves. Placing them side by side. Ellie had wandered off at one point, coming back a few minutes later with your bags and weapons. Without a word she walked forward placing the magic pad on the ground and walked away. You read the words "I'm sorry" on it and felt your heart break just a little more.

"You coming?" She called. You and Joel followed her. You shivered. Winter was coming.

[theshelbyslimited]

I am FINALLY getting to doing a commentary on this fic and I am so sorry for how long it is but god was it just too brilliant to keep short ❤️

"He was buried deep inside you as you moved up and down on his shaft, his strong hands making sure you were close to him." OH how j wish this were actually me right now (actually always) 🤣🥵

"The new angle, seeing him above you, broad shoulders, strong and toned biceps contracted by the effort he was applying, looking up, you found Tommy biting his lower lip, his fringe hanging against his forehead as he hit your g-spot over and over, it was all too much." LORDDD just imagining this in my head makes me feel like I need a cold shower 🤣🥵

“Jesus fuck, woman, every time I’m inside you is like you plug in my cock in the fucking outlet.” sir please 🤣 this is such a good line though.

“Daaaaad, Y/N I arrived earlier!” ahhhh the most precious little sweetheart has arrived 🥺🥰

"Listen to me, this is your house, ey? You come and go as you please, you don’t have to ask.” CUTEEE DAD!TOMMY 🥺

“You two are disgustingly cute, can I join the hug?” Y/N is me bc little Charlie + Tommy are simply too cute for words 🥺

“Sandwich!” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭

“Oh! I saw a couple of presents left under the tree, but I didn’t look at the tags…” “Those must be mine!” Charlie is a kid who most definitely has his priorities straight, hugs can wait but presents simply cannot, especially when it's Christmas time 🤣🥺

“Father Christmas is a little bit busy, so the company, we’ll your Daddy here volunteered as Santa’s helper.” “You help Santa?!” “That’s so cool Dad!” he's so in awe, like MY DAD KNOWS SANTA?!?! 🥺🤣

“Son, some families have to leave the kids at the orphanage because they can’t take care of them, they can’t give them food and pay for school.” “another times, when the parents pass away, they have to take the kids there, so they can be safe.” I really like their way of explaining it to him in a gentle yet honest manner 🥰

“Wait for me!” “Can I give those kids these too? I never opened them and I got plenty of toys!” OH. MY. HEARTTT 🥺😭

“He’s smarter than we think.” “And kind,” “and generous…” “just like his Dad.” NO BUT THIS. I know Tommy finds this difficult to believe but he is truly so much more kind and generous than he could ever truly know 🥺

“Some of my classmates said they would be staying up late during Christmas Eve to see Santa , they wanted to caught him leaving the presents… but I didn’t do it, I swear Dad.” the way this precious boy tugs @ my heartstrings w/o even having to try 🥺

“You’re going to have a little brother or sister, Y/N is pregnant.” AHHHHHHHHHH 😭

“Y/N let me open the door!” PLS I JUST WANT TO PROTECT THIS LITTLE ANGEL W MY ENTIRE HEART + SOUL 😭

"Charlie immediately ran off to play with the kids and help you and Tommy give the presents, he also volunteered to serve the food and cupcakes you brought, showing by his actions that he had a kind heart, he was a pure soul. And even showing leadership skills as he was making sure all the kids got a present, informing them that Santa didn’t forget about them." CHARLIE SHELBY TRULY HAS MY HEART 🥺😭

“Dad?…” “Can we go back to the orphanage to celebrate Rebecca’s belated birthday? I could buy her a big balloon with the money you give me for lunch.” PLS I AM GOING TO CRY 😭

“I think that’s a great idea Charlie, how about we go once a month and celebrate every single kid who will be celebrating their birthday that month?” YESSS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 🥺

“Sometimes, son blind dates go wrong, that’s when you take your chance and get the girl.” YESSSS 🥺🙌🏽

this was EVERYTHING. Charlie truly has all of our hearts and although I adore Tommy w my entire soul, little Charlie truly stole the show this fic. I love how you were able to portray the best attributes of Tommy through the thoughtfulness and kindness that Charlie possesses, even from such a young age. I adore Liv's 'Blind Date' story in general but this was such a beautiful edition to this wonderful pair and I loved it so much! thank you for absolute blessing mi amiga Mar, amazing amazing amazing ❤️🙌🏽

Collecting moments, not things.

Modern Tommy Shelby x Reader (one shot)

First story of 2023! ✨🎉 can’t believe it… hope you all celebrated the holidays and had a good time with your loved ones 🥰 I want to take a moment to thank every single of you for all your support during 2022…

Now *drum roll* I wrote this story to celebrate @gypsy-girl-08 3,000 followers!!!! Inspired by our beloved “Blind date” couple that I simply adore and can’t enough of. Liv I can’t thank you enough for being an inspiration, you already know this but you are one of the very first tumblr fan accounts that I found here when I googled “Tommy Shelby fanfiction”, thank you because of your work I got the chance to start day-dreaming again, to imagine, to distract me from the daily stress, to really enjoy a moment to myself, and that lead me to write again, and the rest is history… ♥️

⚠️ Ah! I almost forgot, smut at the beginning then fluff 🔥🥰

This is set between those days after Christmas and before NYE, and of course, Charlie has my heart 🥰

Your fingernails would probably leave marks on Tommy’s back from the force you were applying, but as his lips sucked hard on the skin of your left shoulder, you couldn’t keep down the moan that came out from the deepest part of your soul.

He was buried deep inside you as you moved up and down on his shaft, his strong hands making sure you were close to him.

But soon, he switched positions in a swift motion and now you were laying on your back, with his weight on top of you as Tommy slammed all the way back in and out of your body with a pace that made you think you wouldn’t be able to walk in five days.

Feeling him pull out from you completely and your eyes snapped open, you were in route to orgasm-road and now you felt empty. But before you could protest, you saw him kneeling in bed between your legs and his hands sneaked under your body at the small of you back level, he lifted that part of your body and with most of your back still touching the mattress, he entered your body one more time.

Tommy started moving your lower body to meet his thrusts. He was in charge of the pace and speed, you were lost in pleasure, your hands moved up your own body, until your fingers found your breasts, with your middle finger, you barely fanned over your nipple, causing Tommy to stop momentarily, he leaned on his heels as you added extra pleasure to what you were already experiencing. Resuming his movements a few seconds later, he was insatiable that morning.

“Ahhh!” You moaned.

The new angle, seeing him above you, broad shoulders, strong and toned biceps contracted by the effort he was applying, looking up, you found Tommy biting his lower lip, his fringe hanging against his forehead as he hit your g-spot over and over, it was all too much.

Time stopped and soon you felt a pleasure you’ve never felt before.

Ecstasy hit you hard, one wave of pleasure after another as Tommy was still holding your lower back up in the air, throwing his head back he reached his own climax as his load was released inside you.

Carefully, he placed your lower body back down in the mattress, bodies still connected as he tried to catch his breath.

“Jesus fuck, woman, every time I’m inside you is like you plug in my cock in the fucking outlet.”

You chuckled at his comparison, running your nails through the shorter parts of his hair, sighing as he rolled on his back pulling out from you to have some rest. Desperate for a cigarette, he just rubbed it against his lips, without lighting it… out of habit, he couldn’t smoke around you anymore.

“You know, I like having another Christmas dinner, even though is no longer Christmas.” You admitted walking naked towards the en-suite bathroom, his eyes taking in your figure. A few seconds later, he heard the shower running.

***

Tommy watched you from the bed as you took something from your jewelry box. Fuck you looked like a bombshell in that green cocktail dress and nude shoes.

“You’re so quiet.”

Your words brought him back, walking towards you, he took the delicate necklace in your hand, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder as you moved your hair to the side.

“Just thinking.”

“I get scared when you do that.” You chuckled and found his eyes looking at you through the mirror.

Tommy clicked his tongue, a playful look back in his deep gaze as his hands roamed down your body. “You should Y/N, you should.”

But the moment was interrupted by a desperate small voice storming into the bedroom.

“Daaaaad, Y/N I arrived earlier!” Charlie rushed to both of you, a huge smile on his face, showing off a couple of missing teeth.

“Oh, hi Charlie!” You welcomed him as his arms wrapped around you.

Tommy looked at you, worried. “Hey son.” But he was genuinely happy to see his child.

“Mum said she could only drive me for lunch, so I told her OK!”

Clearing his throat, Tommy crunched down to his height, to look Charlie in the eyes. “Listen to me, this is your house, ey? You come and go as you please, you don’t have to ask.”

Charlie seemed to process his father’s words for a couple of seconds, only to nod eagerly after throwing himself for a hug. Tommy groaned at the contact, he wanted Charlie to feel he had a safe place there. People who loved him deeply.

“Happy belated Holidays Charlie.” You said caressing the back of his head.

Tommy had barely released his son, only to pull the kid back for another hug, wishing him a Merry Christmas.

“You two are disgustingly cute, can I join the hug?” You joked, adored to see Tommy interacting with his son.

“What do we do in these circumstances?” Tommy asked Charlie, with his eyebrows raised.

A huge grin decorated his features. “Sandwich!” He ran off to hug you from the front while Tommy positioned himself strategically behind your body.

“Ah, best group hug ever, but I need to breathe.” Your whole body tingled, by feeling Tommy’s body against yours, his deep laugh in your ear.

“Do you know if Father Christmas stopped by Y/N?” The boy then asked pulling your hand.

“Oh! I saw a couple of presents left under the tree, but I didn’t look at the tags…”

His little face lighted up. “Those must be mine!”

And he didn’t wait another minute to find out, before you could say anything else, Charlie was gone.

He had spent Christmas with Grace, and he would be with the Shelby’s for New Year. It wasn’t the best or ideal, but it was better than nothing. Co-parenting is never easy, there are a lot of ups and downs, bitter moments, irritating phone calls and discussions back and forth. But the most important thing, at least for Tommy was making sure than Charlie was happy.

“What do we do with the orphanage celebration?” Tommy asked you looking for advice, his son was supposed to arrive for the belated Christmas dinner the family organized after having lunch at the orphanage and giving them the Christmas presents they got for the kids. But since he arrived way too early, he didn’t know how to make the logistics work.

“Ask him if he wants to go with us? I’m sure he would love to.” You replied running your hand up and down his back, knowing how tense he was.

“You think so?” But before you could answer you did, Charlie called out for you.

“Look at all of these presents!” Charlie moved around faster than a tornado, checking out all of the wrapped boxes. “Aunt Pol, uncle John, Katie, Frances…” He read out loud.

“I think I heard Father Christmas hiding a couple of presents…” You winked, taking the couch.

“Before you burn down the whole house looking for ‘em, I need to ask you something.” Tommy sat next to you and beckoning his son to come close, he helped him up to sit on his lap. “You remember we have an orphanage?” Watching Charlie nod, Tommy placed his hand on your knee. “Every year we go over there and give the kids presents,-”

“Father Christmas is a little bit busy, so the company, we’ll your Daddy here volunteered as Santa’s helper.” You interrupted, running one hand up and down Tommy’s back.

The look on Charlie’s face was priceless.

“You help Santa?!” His little mouth hung open, wide eyes looking at Tommy.

Tommy didn’t know how to react, he was out of words, you had never seen him like that.

“That’s so cool Dad!”

Tommy chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Yeah…”

Charlie’s eyes lightened up. “You’ve seen him?”

“No, no… we can’t see him, he just asked for a little help.” You explained, but before Charlie could keep the interrogation going, you asked him; “would you like to come with us? We don’t want to leave those kids without their presents, but we don’t want to leave you alone either…”

“And everyone is coming back here after we finish.” Tommy stated.

“So, this is the plan,” you started, “we go over there, give the presents to the kids, we also got some food for them, then we come back, have dinner and open the presents Father Christmas left?”

“Yeah!” He jumped up happily from his father’s legs, but soon more questions invaded his mind; “Why are they in the orphanage?”

Tommy looked at you, trying to find the right words to say.

“Son, some families have to leave the kids at the orphanage because they can’t take care of them, they can’t give them food and pay for school.” Tommy cleared his throat after explaining the first thing that came to his mind.

Extending your hand to Charlie, you then added; “another times, when the parents pass away, they have to take the kids there, so they can be safe.”

“So they celebrate their birthdays and Christmas there? Alone?” You could see his little mind speeding up, trying to comprehend the new information.

“They’re not alone, Charlie, there are other kids and the adults responsible for them.”

“That’s why we are bringing the presents, to help put a smile on their face.” You could feel the lump in your throat growing, making it hard to speak. Tommy was looking at the floor.

“If you don’t want to go, is fine Charlie, we’ll stay here… I will ask Aunt Ada to cover me.”

Shaking his little head, you saw him walking out of the room. “Wait for me!” He demanded from the stairs.

“You made it sound so easy.” He squeezed your tight.

“What was I supposed to say? Some parents don’t want their babies and they just leave them there? Or they grew in an abusive household and are taken away?”

“Do you realize I was supposed to end up in a place like that?” Tommy looked at you intently. “If it wasn’t for Pol…” His eyes watered.

You touched his face, hurt by his words. “Don’t say that, everything you went through made who you’re today. Made you stronger.”

“Sometimes I wonder where would I be if some things were different, easier.”

He was trying to be a good father for his son. You knew how hard he worked for him.

Charlie interrupted what you were about to answer.

“Can I give those kids these too? I never opened them and I got plenty of toys!”

Tommy was completely speechless by his son’s actions. Surprised by his kindness and selfless act, he nodded.

“Of course honey, let me wrap them quickly.” You smiled at him and then looking back at Tommy, who was leaning on one of his legs, you gave him a cute pout. “I heard aunt Ada left some Christmas cookies for you, why don’t you ask Frances to give you some?”

After Charlie was out of sight, you walked back to Tommy, he still had a surprised expression.

“When did he grow up so much?”

“He’s smarter than we think.” You moved his arm to the side, to sit on his lap, his hands around your waist in seconds. “And kind,” you kissed his cheek, “and generous…” you kissed then his jaw, “just like his Dad.” You added then, kissing the tip of his nose.

“All that?” He joked not fully believing all those compliments.

You felt him relax under your touch and when you moved back a little, you found him with his eyes lids closed, a smile on his lips.

So tempting, so inviting… leaning forwards, your lips found his and a deep groan vibrated through his chest.

But before he could deepen the kiss, your hands pushed away his shoulders a little, to stop him.

Your fingertips touched his lips. “Charlie could walk in any minute now.” You stated adjusting the red tie with gold circles you gave him for Christmas, along the vintage pocket watch you found at a vintage store.

As Tommy rested his head on your shoulder, he asked you a very important question; “when are we telling him?”

“Tell me what?” Charlie questioned holding two cookies in his hands.

Oops, you thought trying to come up with an excuse, looking at Tommy silently pleading for him to sort the situation. But the spark in his eyes told you that he wouldn’t even try it.

“Charlie? We need to talk to you about something.”

Charlie’s face changed immediately. “I didn’t do it.” He defended himself clasping his hands behind his back.

“What?” Tommy squinted his eyes at his son. “No, I mean we have some news to share with you,” as he saw his son relaxing, Tommy’s guard started to build up. “What is it you didn’t do?”

“Some of my classmates said they would be staying up late during Christmas Eve to see Santa , they wanted to caught him leaving the presents… but I didn’t do it, I swear Dad.” He was so mortified that you couldn’t stand the worry in his eyes.

“Is alright Charlie, we know you didn’t.” Standing up, you went to take his hand and walk with him to the couch, making him sit between Tommy and you.

“You know what happens when you sneak and catch him, ey?” Charlie shook his head, waiting for an explanation. “That’s when the magic ends, there’s no going back, he won’t be taking any more letters, he won’t stop by to eat cookies and have a glass of whiskey.”

“Dad! You can’t give Father Christmas whiskey!” Charlie stated shocked. “He’s supposed to be driving the sled.”

Tommy looked at you this time pleading for you to rescue him from the crave he just got himself in.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, it was just a sip, he was thirsty.” You tried to explain.

“And he’s got immunity worldwide, the police can’t touch him.”

Thinking how you just praised him for being a good example and now Tommy was portraying Santa Claus as someone who liked to drink, you preferred the previous discussion.

“So… Charlie, the news we wanted to tell you earlier…”

“You’re going to have a little brother or sister, Y/N is pregnant.” Tommy confessed with a smile.

Charlie’s face lighting up, he started running around squealing in happiness, he couldn’t believe the good news, but he walked to you for another “sandwich” hug, excited to have a sibling. At the beginning you were afraid of how to tell him, or how he would react, after seeing the smile on his face, you knew it would all be alright.

You were so happy, the pregnancy was unexpected but you loved each other and it would have happened eventually.

Charlie was so excited that he almost forgot about going to the orphanage. Luckily Tommy reminded you and the three of you headed out to the car.

“Y/N let me open the door!” Charlie requested, after watching his father do that every time you went out, he was starting to mirror a couple of his actions.

Tommy stopped on his tracks as he heard his son say that, looking through his Ray-Bans at the blonde boy rush to take your hand, he was surprised one more time.

At the orphanage, it couldn’t be any different, Charlie immediately ran off to play with the kids and help you and Tommy give the presents, he also volunteered to serve the food and cupcakes you brought, showing by his actions that he had a kind heart, he was a pure soul. And even showing leadership skills as he was making sure all the kids got a present, informing them that Santa didn’t forget about them.

Looking around, you couldn’t find Tommy, it was time to leave unfortunately, but you had to be back home for dinner with the Shelby’s, turning in your heels, you found him kneeling in front of a girl who was crying inconsolably, her little face turning red, maybe you got the wrong presents list and you missed hers? Charlie wrapped his arms around her as Tommy took out from his pocket the handkerchief to wipe her tears away.

And you saw it clearly, the man he really was, to you, it wasn’t really a surprise to see Charlie doing things his father usually did, or repeating his words or mannerisms, they were like look-wise both on the outside and the inside, and that’s the thing with kids, they’re always watching.

Tommy tried to make everyone feel scared of him, his family, his employees, his enemies… but at home, he was just your Tommy. You could feel emotions building up as you thought how Tommy would be a great father to the kid you were expecting.

Charlie still had a lot of energy as you all got inside the car to go back home, it was hard to make him stop playing.

“Why was Rebecca crying?” You questioned turning in your seat to see Charlie.

Tommy took your hand and placed both on his lap.

“She was sad because her birthday was on Christmas Eve and she didn’t get anything.” Charlie explained rubbing his eyes.

“Oh!”

For a couple of minutes, the drive was made in complete silence, each mind thinking of the events of the day in their own way, until Charlie spoke again.

“Dad?…” Tommy looked at his son through the rear view mirror, blue eyes reflected. “Can we go back to the orphanage to celebrate Rebecca’s belated birthday? I could buy her a big balloon with the money you give me for lunch.”

Tommy stopped the vehicle at the red light, looking at his side, he found you looking at him already, a genuine and beautiful smile on your lips.

You can’t make kids say things like that, those come from the heart, from what they see around them.

The monster of business, the shark of trouble, the king without a crown, was surprised by his five year old boy. You knew he was lost for words, so you decided to intervene.

“I think that’s a great idea Charlie, how about we go once a month and celebrate every single kid who will be celebrating their birthday that month?”

As Charlie answered enthusiastically at your proposal, Tommy could only squeeze your hand tightly, his heart exploding of love as he stopped the car outside his house, Polly and Ada’s cars already parked, they were unloading wrapped presents.

“From now on, we will do that Charlie, on Saturdays, so you can go with us.”

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” You looked back at him again.

“How did you and my Dad meet?”

A soft smile played on Tommy’s lips at the memory.

Clearing his throat, Tommy turned in his seat as well. “Sometimes, son blind dates go wrong, that’s when you take your chance and get the girl.”

Winking at you, he was pleased by the way that night turned out to be.

For the first time, Tommy felt that he was collecting moments, not things.

***

A/N: Even though this was based on the couple of Blind date, I added a couple of things of my own (like the pregnancy), but this was made with all my love and respect to the original writer 🥰♥️

Master list

Tag list:

@lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @lespendy @zablife @gypsy-girl-08 @cillmequick @onlydeadcells @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @forgottenpeakywriter @esposadomd @stevie75 @strayrockette @the-forest-witchh @fastfan @elenavampire21 @moral-terpitude @babaohhhriley @peakyscillian @heidimoreton @ange-thoughts @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @cutecurly-hair

[writemekpop]

Love Sick | Jung Jaehyun

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x Reader

Summary: As 'the nerd girl', you can't believe your luck when you hook up with the hottest guy on campus... until he gives you chlamydia. Get ready for the freakiest love story of your life. 

Genre: Fuckboy!Jaehyun, enemies to lovers, NCIT universe 

Word count: 1.9K

Warnings: Frat boys, sex in weird places, STDs, Jaehyun’s frat friends are bitchy, bad physics puns 

You should never have slept with Jung Jaehyun. 

That was truer than the fact that the Andromeda galaxy will collide with the milky way in 50 billion years. To be honest, you wished that would happen right now. You wanted to disappear. 

Jaehyun was the classic stuck up college boy, who thought that, just because he ruled his frat house, he ruled the world.  

Jaehyun could not be more different to you. Jaehyun was only here because his parents donated a whole lab to the university. You were here on a full academic scholarship, on track to become the first female astrophysics professor in NCIT. 

To cut a long story short, it was a late night at the lab, you were both alone, you were missing your ex… and maybe you’d had one too many contraband beers. As much as you hated Jaehyun, you couldn’t deny that he was smoking hot. So when he offered to fuck you right there on the lab bench, you swept away your textbooks and said hell yes. 

Three weeks later, it had all gone to shit. Because you just found out that you had chlamydia. And as he was your only hook-up this year… it didn’t take a genius to work out who gave it to you. And now, you had a duty to tell him. 

“Oh Jaehyun, you feel so good,” you moaned, throwing your head back in delight. You were sitting on the lab bench, stark naked, legs spread with Jaehyun between them. Your pulse was skyrocketing. 

Jaehyun removed his glistening fingers from your core and unbuckled his jeans. 

“Condom?” you asked, placing one hand on his hip. 

Jaehyun sighed. “I don’t have one, but don’t worry baby, I’ll pull out in time.” 

What a jerk. Sure, you weren’t pregnant. But you had an STD, and to you, that was worse. 

---

Next Monday, after your quantum computing class, you decided to confront Jaehyun. 

You stormed down the hallway towards where Jaehyun was standing. He was with Taeyong and Yuta, two of the guys in his frat. Both useless jocks who could barely count to ten. 

“Hey! You!” you cried. Jaehyun glanced in your direction, cold eyes raking over your figure. Then he shrugged and went back to talking to your friends.

You slammed your fist on the locker doors. “I’m talking to you!” 

Yuta nudged Jaehyun. “Hey, look! It’s little miss teacher’s pet. Sucked off any professors today?”. 

Jaehyun turned towards you, crossing his arms over his large frame. “What do you want?” 

You glowered back. “You gave me chlamydia… you, you dickwad!”

Jaehyun’s eyes went wide. You watched as his neck turned the faintest red. For the first time, you saw his cool demeanour falter, just a little. 

Mark, Jaehyun’s stoner friend, piped up. “Woahhh, Jae banged the nerd chick? That’s… messed up, bro.”

Jaehyun’s expression hardened. “You need to get your facts straight. I never fucked you. You must have got your… disease from someone else.”

Your jaw dropped open. “Stop lying! It had to be you! I haven’t slept with anyone else!”

A small crowd of students had collected around you. Some were snickering, others were simply shocked just to see the most popular guy in the year was talking to you.  

Jaehyun shrugged, plastering on a smirk. “Maybe you fantasised having sex with me or something, but it never happened. Go back to… humping robots or whatever.”

All of Jaehyun’s friends erupted into laughter. Murmurs of attention-seeking slut, dork, bitch, leapt from the crowd. Normally you didn’t care what anyone thought of you, but now, you felt your eyes welling with tears. 

Before Jaehyun could say anything else, you ran off. 

You spent the rest of the day hiding in the old Chemistry lab at the back of the campus. It had been empty for so long that leafy vines had burst through a broken window, letting in a breath of rain-moistened air. It was your secret hide out place. 

You were flicking through the latest issue of Nature, trying not to think about Jaehyun, when you heard the door rattle. 

“I thought I’d find you here,” Jaehyun said, striding in, brushing raindrops off his dark blue hoodie. 

You looked up at him in shock. “H-how did you know I was here?” 

Jaehyun smiled, one dimple appearing on his smooth cheek. “You walk here straight after class. You’re not that mysterious you know.”

You scoffed. “What do you want?”

The smile dropped off Jaehyun’s face. He sat on the bench next to you, so close you could smell his minty aftershave. “I’m sorry about earlier… My friends… they- they see basic human decency as a sign of weakness.” His eyes dropped. “I just wanted to check that you’re okay.”

You frowned.. “Why do you even care?” 

“Look,” Jaehyun said. “You’re good in bed, for a nerd. Like really good. If you got chlamydia from me, that sucks. Do you need me to help pay for your meds?”

Your jaw fell open. “I’m not your little charity case! I only told you because you need to get checked up yourself!”

Before Jaehyun could say anything else, you ran off. Leaving him alone. Again.  

---

Over the next week, Jaehyun kept invading your personal space, trying to talk to you. He somehow got hold of your number, and then your phone was pinging like a broken Geiger counter. 

You had to admit, he was starting to wear you down. You still thought he was a good for nothing jerk, but you couldn’t deny how your body reacted when he was around. 

Late one night, you were struggling with your assignment in the physics faculty library, when you felt a finger tap your shoulder. You looked up to see Jaehyun. He was holding a textbook, smiling. 

He was wearing a tight grey sports tee and his hair was dripping wet. He looked… delicious. But then you remembered the horrible meds you had to take for your STD. 

And that was all Jaehyun’s fault. Him and his stupid dick. 

“What are you doing here?” you spat. 

Jaehyun sat down on the seat next to you and thumped the textbook onto the desk. “I want to study with you. We’re both in the same advanced calculus class, it’s… time efficient.” 

You scoffed and opened his textbook, marvelling at the crack of the spine. “This has never been opened. Come on, Jaehyun. What do you want from me?”

Jaehyun shifted awkwardly in his seat. The tips of his ears went red. “Maybe I… like you, okay? You’re… not like anyone I’ve ever slept with.” 

You snorted. “Did you really just say I’m not like other girls? Get over yourself!” 

You stood up, the chair screaming against the wooden floor. 

“Wait Don’t go!” Jaehyun grabbed your arm. “I really do want to study with you. I-I can help you with your problem!” He stared intently at your notebook for a few seconds.

Then, he picked up your pen and started filling in the blanks in your equation. You watched in awe as he worked, pink tongue sticking out. 

After five minutes, he looked up, beaming. “Done.” He held out the notepad for you. You scanned it over, and then sat back down, eyes wide in shock.

“i-I’ve been working on this equation for two weeks!” 

Jaehyun nudged your shoulder, smiling. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know.” 

“Woah.” You said, staring into his hazel eyes. Suddenly, Jaehyun was looking handsomer than ever. You didn’t care he was a jerk. You didn’t care that he gave you chlamydia. You didn’t care that he bullied you. All you wanted was him. 

You grabbed him by his hoodie and pulled him towards you. You kissed him, hard. Jaehyun curled his fingers into your hair, kissing you back just as deeply. The wetness of his tongue sent your head spinning, hurtling, out of orbit. 

Overwhelmed with the feeling of him, you climbed onto his lap. Your thighs brushed his soft sweatpants, but the warmth from underneath drove your skin crazy. If someone asked you to list the planets in the solar system right now, you wouldn’t be able to name one. Not when Jaehyun’s lips were brushing the base of your neck, right above your pulse.

One of his hands slid down your waist and cupped your ass. You pushed his hand further down, inviting him to slip his hands underneath your skirt. Which he did. You gasped when you felt his cool fingers graze the cotton of your underwear. 

You felt the bulge in his pants begin to grow too. 

And that was when it happened. 

Sudden, unwanted, like someone dumped an ice-cold bucket of water over your head. 

Your mind flashed back to the last time you did this with Jaehyun. And that’s when you remembered everything that happened between you. All you could hear was Jaehyun’s friends laughing at you, all you could feel was shame. 

You shoved Jaehyun off you, tears pricking your eyes.

“What’s the matter?” Jaehyun muttered, completely oblivious to your pain, eyes still hooded in pleasure. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this!” you said, re-doing the buckle of your bra strap that Jaehyun had manage to unhook whilst you were kissing. 

“What is it?” 

You huffed. “You’re still the jerk who denied sleeping with me then humiliated me in public! And then, and then, you come up and tell me you like me when no one’s looking, like I give a shit about your feelings. You- you suck!”

Jaehyun rolled his dark eyes. He hadn’t fluttered so much as an eyelash at your outburst. “That’s rich, coming from you.” 

You frowned. “Meaning?”

His voice was quiet, but it pulsed with pain. “Don’t you get it? You told everyone I have an STD. Do you not realise how embarrassing that was? My friends haven’t talked to me since! I… have feelings too, you know. And you hurt them.”  

Your mouth dropped open. You looked at Jaehyun, at the way he twisted the Armani ring on his finger, the way his cheeks were dusted with blush.

Your voice was quiet. “I guess I didn’t consider that I could have hurt you. That… was wrong.” 

Jaehyun touched your cheek. He slid his fingers down your face, resting on your bottom lip. “Can we start again?” 

You nodded. 

Jaehyun smiled. He thrust out his hand for you to shake. “Hi. I’m Jaehyun. I have an STD. But I’m working on that. I’m also a jerk. But I’m working on that too.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you shook his hand. “I’m Y/n,” you said. “A girl who’s working on her anger management and also seeing the cutest guy in her physics class.” You could feel your cheeks going warm.

Jaehyun waggled his brows. “The cutest, huh? You gotta tell me more about this hunk.”

You laughed and slapped his arm. “How about I tell you on the way to the clinic? I think we could both do with a check-up.” 

Jaehyun held his arm, and you linked your arm through his. 

He smiled. “Who knew that chlamydia would bring us together? Does that mean when I propose I have to give you syphilis?” 

“Jaehyun!”

—

MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

[jaehyunfirstlove]

You decide you’re ready to have a baby. The catch? You’re not seeing anyone at the moment. Enter your best friend, Jeong Jaehyun. Will he be the answer to your dilemma?

Pairing: best friend!Jaehyun x f.reader

Genre: best friends to fwb to lovers, fluff, angst, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: mentions of infertility, pregnancy and childbirth, sperm donors, IVF (in vitro fertilization), fertility drugs, mood swings, fingering, unprotected sex, cum play, nipple play, breeding kink, oral sex (f.receiving), dirty talk, pregnant sex, rough sex

Word count: 10.6k

Taglist: @jaehyunnie77​ @mrg-jjh​ @keeach​ (send me a message if you want to be tagged in future fics)

A/N: this was only meant to be a short fic but it morphed into this monstrosity. I tried to tag for everything but if I missed anything please let me know. Inspired by the fact that Jaehyun wanted to be a teen dad (but they are not teens in this story, just thought I’d make that clear :) Also please excuse my unimaginative name for the baby, I’m terrible at coming up with names lol

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional so please excuse any inconsistencies.

“So what have you got planned for today?” your best friend, Jaehyun, asked you as he took a sip of his coffee, shielding his eyes from the sun’s rays coming through the window of the cafe.

It was your weekly Saturday brunch, at which Jaehyun would show up, nine times out of ten, hungover, wearing dark sunglasses, a baseball cap, a black t-shirt and sweats. There was never a deviation from this outfit, even on the times when he came not hungover.

“Oh not much, just an appointment at the fertility clinic this afternoon.”

Jaehyun paused, as you took a sip of your latte. You couldn’t see the look in his eyes through the sunglasses but his fork had stopped midway to his mouth. It hovered in the air, scrambled eggs sliding off of it and plopping onto the plate below.

“The where?” he asked, tipping his head to look at you above the top of his sunglasses.

“Fertility clinic. Looking into getting a sperm donor.”

The matter-of-fact way you were saying everything seemed to shock him, his fork still not moving towards his mouth or back onto the plate.

“Excuse me, a sperm donor?”

You put your coffee cup down, and sighed. “I don’t know why you’re so shocked, I told you before I wanted to have a baby.”

“I thought you were joking!”

“Well I wasn’t!” you don’t know why you were being so indignant, maybe because all you’d heard from everyone around you, from your parents to your doctor to the lady that sold you pretzels from a street cart, was negative. You shouldn’t have a baby without a partner, was the main point of contention, but how was that going to happen if you weren’t seeing anyone, and hadn’t had a serious relationship in almost a year.

“But a sperm donor, Y/N?” he asked, after mulling over what you just said.

“Yeah? What’s wrong with it?” you countered. You were so sick of everyone around you criticizing your plan.

“I don’t know, what if he’s like, a serial killer or something?”

“They do psychiatric assessments on everyone who donates.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an undiagnosed illness-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jaehyun!” you’d had it, letting out an exasperated huff, “Do you have a better idea? Do you want to be my sperm donor?”

You weren’t at all serious, you were just mainly upset and unfortunately, taking it out on him, but he actually sat back in his chair, eyebrows raised, as if he were contemplating it.

“Anyway, forget it. I don’t need your approval. I just hoped that you’d support me, of all people.” You couldn’t help but pout. He was your best friend and he’d stuck with you when no one else had. You may have said you didn’t need his approval but deep down you wanted him to be on your side.

He leaned forward, took his sunglasses off and looked you in the eye. “Of course I support you,” he said sincerely. “If this is what you want, then I’m with you one hundred percent of the way.”

You smiled, your heart feeling lighter, and just as you took a sip of your latte he said the one thing that would complicate your life forever.

“But I get to be that sperm donor.”

You spluttered, almost choking on your latte. “I wasn’t being at all serious, Jaehyun,” you chuckled nervously, but one look at his face and you could see he was being completely serious.

“I just don’t like the idea of some stranger being the father of your child,” he said quietly, looking down at his plate of food while he said it, “might as well be me, right?” He looked up at you hopefully.

You didn’t know what to say. This was your best friend, the one you’d grown up with, the one you’d catch tadpoles with, the one you’d drag to the playground with you, the one you told all your innermost secrets to. The one who knew you best. Didn’t it make sense then, that he would be the one to share this with you, in the end? You looked at his face; open, sincere, beautiful. You knew he was attractive, with the trail of broken hearts he’d leave in his wake, but you hadn’t really looked at him in that way before. Suddenly he was a new person to you, and now you didn’t know how to feel.

“Jaehyun, I-” you rubbed your hands together nervously, still unsure of what to say, “it’s a big thing, you know? This will change the rest of your life.”

He nodded, but there was no trace of hesitation in his actions. In fact, he looked as sure as anything. “Yeah that’s a given. But I’ve thought about it and I’m ready.”

“Jaehyun, you’ve literally thought about it for, like, the few minutes we’ve been sitting here.”

He smiled, “Actually I’ve thought about it for a long time.”

“About being a sperm donor?”

He laughed. “No, not specifically a sperm donor. But it’s a start,” he shrugged. “So what do I have to do?”

---

Jaehyun accompanied you to the appointment at the fertility clinic, where they outlined the plan and what was required of the two of you. It didn’t sound too bad, but you did find that having Jaehyun there to support you was really helpful. Every time the doctor explained something that made you nervous you would look over at him and he would smile confidently at you, sometimes squeezing your hand if you looked particularly concerned.

It was the fertility drugs they gave you, that threw your world into chaos. They had warned you of the side effects but you didn’t think it would be this bad. Your mood swung back and forth like a pendulum, one moment you were happy, the next you were crying into your cereal. You were irritable more than you had ever been in your life, and constantly snapped at every little thing. Not to mention that your breasts were sore and you had nausea, making you feel like you were pregnant already. You felt bad for Jaehyun when he was around for your mood swings and irritable moments, but he handled it much better than you thought he would. He’d give you your space when you needed it, but also sit by your side when you didn’t want to be alone. You found yourself thinking about how he would be as a father, but then you would remember that he was just the sperm donor.

One day, when he was sitting beside you on the couch, rubbing your back after you’d cried over your coffee order being wrong, you ended up asking him how much he wanted to be involved.

“We didn’t talk about the ‘after’,” you said, still sniffling. He stopped rubbing your back and looked at you.

“What do you want the ‘after’ to look like?” He asked, his tone level and gentle.

You had visions of Jaehyun rocking the baby to sleep, of Jaehyun seeing the baby walk for the first time, of Jaehyun teaching your child how to ride a bike, piano lessons, soccer games, first day of school. The perfect family. Except he wasn’t your husband, he wasn’t even your boyfriend. You didn’t know what to ask of him.

“I don’t know,” you whispered. He went back to rubbing your back.

“I’ll be as involved as you want me to be,” he said softly, “my only request is that I get to be a part of their life.”

That sounded fair, you thought. This was certainly going to be more complicated than getting a stranger as a sperm donor.

---

You went through several cycles of IVF, but none had been successful and you were losing hope. Not to mention the fertility drugs were really taking a toll on you, and the doctor had recommended taking a break. You were devastated, seeing it as the end of your dream, no matter how much the doctor reassured you that it wasn’t.

“There has to be another solution,” you pleaded at one appointment. Jaehyun hadn’t accompanied you and you felt yourself falling apart without his presence.

“Well, of course there’s the surefire way,” the doctor shrugged.

“What’s that? I’ll do anything!” you were hopeful once again at the doctor’s words.

“Regular sexual intercourse.”

Of course, you thought bitterly. You couldn’t help but think this was society punishing you for doing this without a husband. Undeterred, you resolved to discuss it with Jaehyun.

---

The look on Jaehyun’s face when you broached the subject was one you had never seen on him before. It was a mixture of shock, terror, resignation, and… something else, almost like acceptance, as if this were the natural course of things.

You resolved not to make it weird, it was just sex after all, and you would get a baby out of it, and that was the most important thing. However, your palms still got sweaty at the thought of it, your heart racing imagining him naked. You’d gone swimming with him plenty of times, went on beach outings often, and you realized you’d always avert your eyes from his bare chest. You figured you were just doing it to be polite, but you had no trouble looking at other men’s chests (you were only human, after all). You shook your head of your thoughts, while waiting patiently for him to agree or disagree to your request.

“I know it’s weird,” you began, when he still hadn’t said anything, “but I promise it won’t change anything in our relationship.” You needed him to agree, and at this point you would say anything to convince him. He looked at you thoughtfully, before he nodded.

“Okay, I’m in.”

---

You’d been keeping track of your cycle and had the days you were ovulating marked on your calendar, which you had shared with Jaehyun. It was agreed that he would come to your place after work, where you would have sex in the hopes of making a baby.

The first night you were nervous, pacing your room as you waited for him to come over. When the doorbell rang you literally jumped out of your skin. When you opened the door you were relieved to see that he was nervous too, although he tried his best to hide it. He joked around with you, trying to keep the mood light, and you had to admit you appreciated it. But when you got to the bedroom, you both went quiet. Jaehyun stood at one end of the room and you stood at the other, the bed looming between you.

“Do you want me to turn around while you get undressed?” he asked awkwardly, and you realized you hadn’t thought through the details.

“Um, yeah, sure,” you replied, and when he turned around you hastily undressed and jumped under the covers. “Done,” you advised, and he turned around. He didn’t make a move though, just looking at you pointedly, until you realized and turned your head away. Once he was done undressing you felt him lift the covers and get into the bed with you, and you couldn’t stop your heart from hammering in your chest.

“Y/N,” he said softly, because you still hadn’t turned back to him. “Can I touch you?”

You bit your lip, still not looking his way, and nodded. His touch made you jolt, even though his hand was warm, the electricity you felt made all your nerve endings feel like they were on fire.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his hand moving tentatively across your stomach. You nodded but you realized you were panting already, and he had barely touched you. “Tell me if I do anything you don’t like,” he suddenly whispered in your ear, and then he was kissing your neck.

You weren’t prepared for the intimacy, you had really only thought about the intercourse part. You hadn’t prepared yourself for the kissing, and the touching, and how he was so good at making you feel good. You felt like you weren’t supposed to enjoy it, that it was supposed to be “just sex” because you were friends and you weren’t doing this because you loved each other, you were only doing it to have a baby. But the more he touched you, the more he kissed you, the more you fell under his spell. You felt like you should tell him to stop, to just get on with it, but you knew he was doing it to get you nice and wet and therefore more comfortable to take him.

His kisses started to move along your jaw, towards your lips, and when he was finally there, his lips on yours, you felt a panic bubble up in your chest. It was too intimate, too much for someone who wasn’t yours. You pulled away, and he looked at you in surprise.

“No kissing on the lips,” you managed to say, maybe that would be enough to keep it less intimate, you told yourself. He nodded without saying a word, his hand coming up to your breast.

“Is it okay if I touch you here?” he asked, his eyes on yours. You thought for a moment and decided it was okay, and when you nodded he cupped your breast tentatively, all the while watching you for your reaction. When you didn’t pull away he squeezed gently, rubbing your nipple with his thumb.

You pressed your lips together, trying to suppress a moan, because everything he was doing was making you feel so good. He kept watching your reaction, and when he was satisfied that you were reacting favorably he got bolder, his hand slipping down between your legs.

You yelped when he touched you there, your legs involuntarily closing and trapping his hand. He froze, looking at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry,” you apologized, flushing with embarrassment, “reflex reaction.”

“It’s okay,” he said softly, as you slowly opened up your legs again. He moved his hand slowly, gently, just rubbing the inside of your thigh. “You can relax, Y/N, I promise I won’t hurt you.” His words were soft, his tone gentle, and it did wonders to calm and soothe you.

You nodded, giving him the go-ahead, and he reached tentatively with his finger, just lightly touching your folds. The electricity you felt when he first touched you came back with a vengeance, and you almost melted right into the bed. Your reaction encouraged him though, and he pressed his finger further in, rubbing your wetness around. When he was satisfied with the state of your arousal he got into position between your legs, placing the tip of his cock at your entrance. He paused, looking you in the eye, gently stroking your cheek.

“Ready?” he asked gently, “I’ll go slow.”

You nodded vigorously, to be honest the anticipation was killing you and you were very much aroused, wanting him to just get on with it. When he pushed into you though, you realized you should really be careful what you wished for. The feeling of him stretching you was almost too much, every inch he pushed in agonizingly slow amplifying your arousal to a dizzying degree. By the time he was seated all the way inside you you were panting, almost out of breath already.

“Okay?” he asked, through gritted teeth. You could tell he was holding back for dear life, but he purposely went achingly slow to make sure you were comfortable.

“Yes,” you said, having adjusted to his size, “you can move now.” Your pussy clenched involuntarily around him and he hissed.

“Don’t do that, Y/N,” he groaned, “I won’t last.”

“Sorry,” you said sheepishly, and as if to get you back he snapped his hips, making you cry out.

“Fuck!” you screamed, and that definitely encouraged him, and he set a pace, fucking you into the mattress. You felt your toes curl, a familiar knot building in your stomach. Once again, you thought, you felt like you shouldn’t be enjoying it as much as you were, it was more important for him to come inside you. “Come on, baby, come for me,” you whispered in his ear, hoping the dirty talk would encourage him.

“Almost there,” he grunted, and as much as you tried not to enjoy it, the way he was drilling into you felt too good. You bit your lip and grasped at the sheets, trying to keep your orgasm down, but he took it as a sign that you were about to come. He reached between you and thumbed your clit, and at that moment your orgasm exploded out of you without warning. He groaned as you clenched around him, finally spilling his seed inside you. You were dizzy, mind hazy from your orgasm, but you were content at the feeling of his cum inside you. He started to pull out, then stopped.

“Oh,” he said, and you looked up at him to see why he was saying that.

“What is it?” you asked.

“It’s leaking out of you,” he pointed down between your legs. You panicked.

“Well you’re not supposed to pull out right away!” you wrung your hands frantically, “push it back in!”

He looked at you incredulously, before looking down at his already softening cock, realizing it was useless at that point. So he just used his fingers, gathering up the cum that had leaked down and pushing it back into your pussy. You bit your lip again, because the more he pushed in, the more aroused you became, surprised that you weren’t oversensitive at this point. He must’ve noticed your reaction because he didn’t stop, pushing in further and further, in and out, faster and faster, until you were coming again, pussy pulsing around his fingers.

You took a deep breath to regulate your breathing, while he pulled his fingers out of you and sat back.

“Are you okay?” he asked, when you still lay there, unmoving.

“Yes,” you responded, staring up at the ceiling.

“Well, I guess I’ll get going,” he said awkwardly, when you didn’t say anything else.

You nodded, still staring up at the ceiling. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here.” He dressed without saying anything more and left the room.

---

He came over again the next night, and you repeated the same awkward scene from the night before. This continued for a few cycles, with no success, and again you were losing hope.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with me,” you said dejectedly one day. Jaehyun looked over at you, concern etched on his face.

“The doctor said you were fine,” he replied, attempting to soothe you.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with you then,” you huffed, but Jaehyun just shook his head.

“Y/N, they put us through a bunch of tests and said we’re both fine,” he put a hand on your knee to reassure you.

“Then why isn’t it working?” you lamented, on the verge of tears.

“Do you want my opinion?” he asked hesitantly. You looked up at him in surprise.

“Yeah, of course,” you replied, curious as to what he had to say.

“Well, I’ve been reading those links the doctor sent, and it said stress is a big factor,” he stated carefully, “I think you just need to relax, and let it happen.”

You were floored. On the one hand you were touched that he had actually read the links the doctor had sent (you had been too impatient to bother), on the other hand, what exactly did he mean by ‘letting it happen’?

“Let’s do things differently next time, what do you think?” he had a twinkle in his eye that was starting to alarm you.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked suspiciously.

“You’ll see.” He smiled, much too widely for your liking.

---

The next time came around and you were more nervous than you were the first night, and if this was his idea of making it more relaxed he was already failing miserably. When he showed up at your door though, you almost didn’t recognize him. 

Instead of a t-shirt and sweats, he was wearing a crisp white button-down and jeans that sat sexily on his hips. Instead of his hair flat and falling in his face he had it pulled back, with just a few strands falling over his forehead. He also smelled incredible, a musky scent that forever trapped you in his hold, and made you want him in every way he would let you.

He smiled at you, but not in the way a friend smiles at a friend, and when he leaned in to give you a kiss on the cheek you almost passed out from the warmth of his lips and the intoxicating scent emanating from his skin. He walked past you to the bedroom, leaving you standing there with your mouth open and your underwear dampening.

When you finally collected yourself, you went upstairs to hear the bath running. You walked into the bathroom to see him drawing a bath, candles surrounding the tub, flower petals in the water, and the most luscious smelling bath bomb marinating in it.

“Jaehyun, what-” 

“Shh,” he put a finger to your lips, and even that act was so sensual you had to squeeze your legs together, “let me take care of you.” He reached down and turned off the water. “Get undressed and get in the bath, and I’ll come back and help you get relaxed.” He left the room and you did what he said, calling him back in once you were in the bath and the cloudy bubbly water reached the tops of your breasts.

He had such a calm and serene look on his face that it almost threw you off, but then he was taking your puff and squeezing body wash on it.

“May I?” he asked, and when you nodded he gently took your arm and ran the puff along it. He did the same with the other arm, and that simple act, along with the warmth of the bath water, did wonders to soothe you. You felt like you were floating, with the calming scents of the bath bomb, and his gentle touch. He started to run the puff along your neck and you bent your head back and sighed. Soon enough he was dipping below the surface of the water, running the puff between your breasts, and you sighed even deeper as he got lower, past your stomach, and lower still. The puff was forgotten, and now it was just his hand, reaching down between your legs. It all felt so good, you spread your legs even wider, wanting more.

“How does it feel?” he whispered, so close to your ear you shuddered.

“So good,” you couldn’t help but moan, and then his hand was there, cupping your pussy.

“I want to make you feel good, Y/N,” he purred, his voice like honey, “will you let me make you feel good?”

“Yes,” the word came out on a long exhale, as he plunged a finger between your folds, and you couldn’t help but fall apart. He fingered you until you came, water splashing all around you as you writhed in pleasure. When you were done he picked you up out of the bath, not caring that his clothes were getting wet, and carried you to the bed. You couldn’t care that you were probably soaking the bed, because his lips were on your neck, hot and urgent, leaving marks that you’d have trouble concealing the next day.

You pulled at his shirt, wanting it off already, and he obliged, throwing the damp fabric to a corner of the room. You rubbed your hands all over his chest, feeling the firm muscle there, then down to his abs. He groaned against your neck when you undid his belt and slipped your hand over his hardened cock.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he hissed, when you wrapped your hand around it and pumped.

“Don’t come yet,” you whispered, taking your hand away, opting instead to pull the rest of his jeans and boxers off. You wrapped your legs around him, encouraging him to enter you, but he pulled back slightly.

“Slow down,” he breathed, and you could feel him smiling against your neck, “this isn’t a race, Y/N,” he continued kissing down the column of your neck, down to your chest, “relax, and let me make you feel good.”

You finally relented, relaxing as he’d ordered, letting yourself melt into the mattress as he sucked on your skin. Your body was on fire, both from the heat of the bath you just had as well as the way his lips were ruining you. When he got down to your lower stomach you realized where he was headed, and instead of fighting the pleasure you were feeling you simply gave in. As soon as his wet tongue collided with your wet folds you let go, moaning wantonly at the feeling. Every sound you made spurred him on, every jerk and jolt of your body gave him the impetus to push you to the height of pleasure, until you were yanking at his hair and convulsing around his tongue.

“That was fucking hot, Y/N,” he almost growled, wiping at his chin as he moved to hover above you, “I almost came.”

“Don’t,” you panted, trying to catch your breath, “you need to come inside me.”

“You want it? Want my cum inside you, fill you up,” his voice was deep, intense, a tone you’d never heard from him, and certainly words you’d never heard from him, but it certainly was doing the job and making you very aroused.

“Oh god,” you exclaimed, unaware that dirty talk was something you liked. Your previous boyfriends hadn’t been this filthy, but you found you loved it.

“I’m gonna fuck you hard, and you’re gonna take all of my cum,” he continued, voice raspy, breath hot in your ear, “I’m gonna knock you the fuck up, and watch your belly grow with my baby.”

“Jaehyun!” you cried out, losing yourself completely. You grabbed a hold of his neck and pulled him down, and for a split second you saw his eyes grow wide as you smashed your lips against his, your no-kissing rule forgotten. He kissed you with the same passion and intensity that he ate you out with, and you wondered why you had ever put that no-kissing rule into place if he could make you feel like that with his lips. You moaned when his tongue entered your mouth, just as he slid his cock inside you.

This time you didn’t hold back, allowing yourself to feel everything. The way his cock slid in and out of you, the way the tip kept hitting that spot so deep inside you. The way his tongue moved in your mouth, the way his hands rubbed up and down your body, sometimes squeezing your breasts and flicking your nipples. Your hands roamed over his back, feeling his muscles move, and when you felt your orgasm start to build you dragged your nails against his skin.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna come,” he broke from the kiss to drop his head down to your chest, his thrusts getting harder but more erratic.

“Oh god, do it,” you panted, your orgasm about to burst out of you, “fill me up, baby, I want your cum so bad.”

That was enough to send him over the edge, and he pulled you flush against him as he came inside you, the particularly forceful thrusts triggering your own orgasm and making you clench around him. He let out a loud groan as you milked him, fingernails digging into his back.

When you were both done you held him against you, not wanting to let him go. He obliged, just holding you, his face tucked against your neck. You could feel his hot breath against your skin and that, along with his arms around you and his weight on top of you was all oddly comforting.

“I’m gonna pull out,” he finally said, when he had gone soft inside you. You sighed but nodded, and once he had pulled out you clamped your legs together, trying to keep as much of his cum inside you as you could.

He dressed quietly and you watched him, heart stuttering in your chest, your mind reeling. You had promised him that the sex wouldn’t change anything in your relationship, but you couldn’t believe how wrong you were. You wanted to reach for him, wanted him to stay, but you held back.

“Thanks for that,” you said quietly, and he turned to you and smiled.

“You’re welcome,” he said sincerely, “I’ll do anything for you,” and he brought his hand up and cupped your cheek, his eyes soft as he looked at you, “you’re my best friend.”

You smiled at him, but inside your heart was breaking. How could you ever think you could do this and keep your friendship as it was?

---

A few weeks later you were late, and although you tried not to get your hopes up you couldn’t help but think this was it. You waited to take the pregnancy test, wanting Jaehyun to be there no matter the outcome.

“What is it? What’s wrong? You said it’s an emergency.” He looked so concerned when he came over, and you almost felt bad for not saying what it was about right away.

“I’m late, Jaehyun,” you announced nervously.

“Where do you have to be?”

“No, I mean my period! I haven’t gotten my period yet!”

He paused, the pieces finally falling into place, and his face suddenly lit up. “Oh shit!” He covered his mouth with his hand as he looked at you with wide eyes.

“Come with me, I’m gonna take a pregnancy test.” You led him upstairs where he waited outside the bathroom door while you took the test. You placed the stick on the counter and opened the door to let him in.

“Well? What does it say?” he asked, rubbing his hands in anticipation.

“It’s gonna take a few minutes,” you answered nervously, “I can’t look, tell me what it says.” You turned away, so anxious you thought you would pass out.

“One line, so far,” he stated, and you tried to stay calm but your heart was beating out of your chest.

“Hold my hand,” you reached behind you and he took your hand in his, squeezing to comfort you. He was silent for a while, and you couldn’t take it anymore. “Well? What does it say now?”

“I see…” he started to say, and you so desperately wanted to turn around but you were too scared.

“What?! Just say it!”

He pulled you to him, turning you around and lifting the stick up to your eye level. “Two lines.”

You blinked a few times, wanting to make sure you were seeing it right, but every time you opened your eyes there were two solid lines. You were pregnant.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, both of your hands going up to cover your mouth. Jaehyun whooped in celebration, jumping up and down with glee. You saw the genuine happiness in his face and so many emotions ran through you that the only thing you could do was burst into tears.

“Aw, Y/N, don’t cry!” he laughed, gathering you into his arms, thinking you were just crying from happiness. But it was so much more complicated than that. You were getting what you wanted, a baby, but you hadn’t prepared yourself for all the complications of having a baby with your best friend, who you may have developed feelings for.

---

The first trimester was hell. You were throwing up every morning, and feeling nausea for the rest of the day. You had an aversion to most food, even hating the smell of certain things, like meat. The only things you could keep down were bread and noodles, and you wondered how the baby could grow when that was all that you ate. But at every appointment the doctor reassured you that the baby was doing well and developing at a good rate. Jaehyun insisted on going with you to your first ultrasound and as much as you wanted him to, you also dreaded it.

When the fuzzy form of your baby showed up on the screen for the first time you felt a surge of happiness overcome you, tears springing to your eyes at the sight of the tiny figure on the screen. You heard Jaehyun inhale sharply and turned to look at him. The awe in his face was so endearing it made the tears run down your cheeks, and seeing your reaction he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a hug.

“That’s our baby,” he whispered, his voice almost breaking, and you cried harder.

“Congratulations!” the technician said, patting you both on the shoulder. You felt like you should correct her, tell her that although the baby was technically yours and Jaehyun’s, you weren’t together and wouldn’t be raising the baby as such. But how do you explain that to a complete stranger? You looked over at Jaehyun, who was smiling from ear to ear, shaking the technician’s hand and making no move to explain the situation.

Later, as you were getting ready to leave the clinic, you saw the technician hand over a copy of the ultrasound picture to Jaehyun. He took it happily in his hands, as if it were the most precious thing in the world. As he walked towards you he slipped it into the plastic window spot in his wallet, where your drivers’ license should be, but his now housed a blurry black and white photo of your baby.

“Hey, wanna get something to eat to celebrate?” he asked, slinging an arm around you as you both left the clinic.

You shook your head. As much as you wanted to spend time with him, you found it hurt more than it helped. Once the baby was born you’d have to deal with him being around more often, so it was better to save up your strength for that.

“I’m actually really tired, I just want to go home and rest,” you answered without looking up at him, “besides, I’m still off most foods.”

“Oh, okay, makes sense.” He said, removing his arm from around your shoulder and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He didn’t sound upset or offended, but when you looked at him out of the corner of your eye you saw a flash of emotion cross his face, almost like hurt or disappointment. You felt bad, knowing you had been avoiding him, even giving up your weekly brunches, but you felt it was better this way.

“Listen, I’ll let you know when the next ultrasound is, okay? You can come with me again.” You wanted just to wipe the look of disappointment off his face, and luckily it worked.

“Yeah, that would be great! Thanks so much, Y/N,” he leaned down and hugged you, and it was the closest he’d been to you since the last time you’d had sex to make the baby. You held him close, committing the feel of him and the scent of him to memory, before you pulled away and walked towards your car.

---

If the first trimester had been hell, the second trimester was heaven. Miraculously the nausea disappeared, and you found yourself actually craving food. You felt more energized and less tired, and slept so much better. Your belly was starting to grow, and you actually had to start shopping for maternity clothes. Your mood was so much better, but what really came back with a vengeance was your libido. During the first trimester you couldn’t even think about sex, but now, it was all you could think about.

Usually your vibrator would do the trick, but there were always moments where you’d think about Jaehyun, think about how good he could make you feel. Sometimes just thinking about him fucking you was enough to get you off, but when you really thought about him, about the feeling of his cock parting your folds, or the feeling of his strong hips pounding into you, his face sweaty and his scent overpowering the air between you, nothing was better than the real thing.

Which is how you found yourself one night, holding your phone and dialing his number without hesitation.

“Hey, what’s up,” he answered, his voice sounding distant. You realized you hadn’t spoken to or seen him in weeks, and instantly you felt terrible.

“Um, actually nothing. I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t wake me,” you could hear him shuffling around, like he had been lying down and started to sit up, “is something wrong, Y/N?”

He always saw right through you, you could hear the concern is his voice, and there was no turning back now.

“Could you come over? I think I need some… company.” You didn’t know if you could just ask for sex over the phone, and was it really only sex that you wanted? Or did you just want him there, with you.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, I can come over,” you heard more shuffling, like he was getting dressed, “are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’ll be better when you’re here.” You answered truthfully.

When he showed up at your door you couldn’t stop yourself from pulling him towards you and hugging him tightly. He didn’t protest, just held you and rubbed your back gently.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked softly against your hair.

“I miss you,” you admitted, voice muffled against his chest because you were too ashamed to look at him.

“I’m around, you know,” he chuckled, “you’re the one who cancelled our brunches.”

You pulled back and forced yourself to make eye contact with him. “No, Jaehyun, I miss you.” You touched his chest when you said it, giving him a look laden with meaning. He understood right away, his eyebrows rising slightly. You took him by the hand and pulled him inside, leading him upstairs and to your bedroom. He let himself be led, but once you were behind closed doors he suddenly took you into his arms and kissed you. The kiss wasn’t subtle, or gentle, it was intense and forceful, his intent surely to rile you up. It definitely worked, because you could feel wetness pooling in your panties as he stuck his tongue down your throat.

“You want my cock again,” he growled, breaking from the kiss to suck a line down your throat. You gasped at his aggressiveness, but you had to admit it really turned you on.

“Yes,” you breathed out, as he stripped you of your clothes and pushed you towards the bed. You fumbled at his clothes, trying to get them off but you found your limbs were weak from the way he was handling you. He took over, stripping off the rest of his clothes, his cock springing forward when he pulled his boxers down. You admired it for only a second before he turned you around, pushing you onto your hands and knees on the bed.

“You like my cock, don’t you, you like me fucking into your little pussy,” he spoke so low, his chest flush against your back so you could feel the reverberation of his voice.

You didn’t have a chance to answer, because he rammed his cock into you, a scream tearing from your throat as he went as deep as he could.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, his hands gripping your hips as he started to pound into you. You weren’t sure how pregnant sex would feel, since so many things were changing in your body, but you weren’t prepared for what you got. It felt like your entire body was on fire, pleasure coursing through every part of you. He hit places inside you that you’d never felt before, and all of it was like nothing you’d ever experienced.

“Jae,” you panted, “Jae, oh my god!” your orgasm was coming on, super fast and beyond your control.

“You’re gonna come already, baby? Alright, come on, come all over my cock,” he reached down, and although it was a little awkward because of your belly, he managed to get to your clit and rub it with the pad of his thumb.

Your vision went white when your orgasm hit, your fingers and toes going numb as your pussy clenched around his cock. You could barely hold yourself up, your upper body falling to the bed as you convulsed around him. He kept going, fucking you through it, and when you stilled he pulled out and lay you on your back. He gave you a moment to catch your breath, before he entered you again. You cried out at the oversensitivity, but he went slowly, and soon enough you started to feel pleasure again.

“I can keep going,” he said, as he fucked into you at a slow but deliberate pace, “you want more, don’t you?”

You nodded vigorously, already feeling another orgasm building. He propped himself up then, and pounded into you, the bed shaking from his harsh thrusts. You gripped and pulled at the sheets, unable to contain the needy whines and moans coming up out of your mouth. You forced your eyes open to see him hovering over you, a look of intense concentration on his face, his brow sweaty, hair falling into his eyes. When he saw you looking at him his concentration faltered, and he bent his head down for a kiss. You were expecting a kiss to match the intensity with which he was fucking you, but instead it was soft, gentle, lingering. You felt something in it, something above and beyond what he was doing to you, something that carried you where you most wanted to be but didn’t dare go. The orgasm you had then was different, not just purely physical, not just filled with lust, but something more elevated, more emotional.

He broke the kiss to grunt loudly as he came, spilling more of his seed inside you. When he was done he pulled out, and sat at the edge of the bed.

“Y/N,” he said, and you don’t know why he sounded so defeated. You sat up, preparing yourself for what he was going to say.

“Jaehyun,” you reached for him but thought better of it, your hand dropping into your lap.

“I can’t keep doing this with you,” he said, his voice quiet but determined, “it’s fucking me up and I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Your heart sank. He was pulling out of your life, and it was all your fault for doing this to him. “I’m so sorry, Jaehyun.”

He got dressed hurriedly, without looking back at you, and before he opened the door to leave he turned back.

“You need to decide for yourself what you want me to be,” he still didn’t look at you, opting to look at the floor instead, “I’ll always be here for you, but I need to know where I stand.”

The door closing behind him echoed in the room, the absence of him already settling into your heart.

---

You went through the rest of the second trimester on your own, too ashamed and heartbroken to see Jaehyun, and too confused to sort out your feelings. He’d text you once in a while to ask you how you were doing, how you were feeling, but there was no talk beyond the pregnancy. He didn’t come to any more of your doctor’s appointments, nor did you ever invite him to any more in the first place. The third trimester hit even worse than the first, your belly was now so big it was almost uncomfortable to do anything, you now had constant heartburn, and you were going to the bathroom every ten minutes because of the weight on your bladder.

About a month before your due date, you were making dinner in the kitchen when you felt an uncomfortable tightening in your abdomen. You clutched your stomach, gripping the counter in alarm and wondering what you should do. The feeling came and went, but returned after a few minutes. Concerned, you called your doctor, who advised you to come in to the hospital just to get checked out. As you were getting ready you got a text from Jaehyun, asking how you were doing.

Jaehyun: hey just doing my check-in

JH: how is it going today

Me: well it’s probably nothing but

Me: just going to the hospital to get checked out

JH: wait what

JH: let me take you

Me: i should be ok

JH: Y/N pls let me take you

Me: ok

JH: thank you i’ll be right there

You sighed, wishing you had never told him and made him worry. Luckily you didn’t have to wait long since he lived nearby, and soon enough he was pulling up to your house. You didn’t bother to wait for him to come to the door, coming out as soon as you saw his car. You were locking the front door when the uncomfortable feeling came back, making you double over, clutching your stomach.

“Y/N!” you heard Jaehyun yell behind you, and soon enough his arms were cradling you as you crouched over. “What happened? What’s going on?”

His voice sounded frantic, terrified, and when you looked up in his eyes he looked so scared that it made your chest ache.

You smiled weakly, trying to placate him, “Don’t worry, it’s probably just false labor,” you patted him on the arm and soon enough the feeling went away. “My doctor just wants me to come in and get checked out, just in case.”

He nodded, but didn’t look reassured at all, creases of worry still lining his face. He also didn’t let you go, holding onto your arm as you walked to the car. At the hospital he didn’t leave your side, until the doctor came to do your examination.

“I’ll wait outside,” he said hesitantly, but you could tell he didn’t want to leave at all, eyes looking longingly back at you as he left the room.

After the doctor examined you and reassured you that it really was just false labor, you were cleared to leave and found Jaehyun in the hall, pacing. Once he saw you he ran up to you, searching your face with frantic eyes.

“Well? What happened?” he’d taken your hands in his, and his palms felt cold and clammy.

“It was nothing, just false labor, the doctor told me to go home and rest.” You reassured him, squeezing his hands and smiling softly at him. He let out a long breath, collapsing into a nearby chair.

“Oh my god, Y/N, I almost died!” he passed the back of his hand over his eyes dramatically, and you suppressed a giggle at his overdramatic show.

“Don’t laugh!” he sat up and looked at you incredulously, “I lost ten years of my life just now!”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” you pressed your lips together trying not to smile. He broke into a wide grin then, pleased with himself that he had managed to lighten your mood with his sense of humor.

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

---

The drive from the hospital had been quiet, both of you realizing that there was still this huge wall between you, and neither of you were brave enough to breach it. He walked you to your door in continued silence, and once you reached your doorstep he turned around to walk back to his car.

“Jaehyun,” you called, unable to stand it anymore, “do you wanna come in and talk?”

He turned around, a mixture of hope, fear, and resignation on his face, and nodded.

The time apart had made you realize how much you missed him, and seeing him again had made you realize how much you still wanted him to be a part of your life. You were hoping to salvage something of your relationship, but you were fully aware that you could never go back to what it had been.

You sat him down on the sofa and took a deep breath.

“Jaehyun,” you began, getting more and more nervous as you went on, “I know I made things weird, even though I promised I wouldn’t,” he opened his mouth to say something but you stopped him, determined to get out what you wanted to say. “I was so focused on having a baby that I didn’t think about what involving you would mean, and what it would do to our friendship. I think I was just naive, I didn’t think anything would change, and I was so wrong.”

He sat across from you, and even though he was just inches away it felt like he was miles away, like an unfathomable chasm had opened up between you. Then he looked up at you, hesitant, but determined.

“Y/N, we can’t go back and change things anymore. What’s happened has happened.” He tilted his head to regard you, taking a deep breath before moving on, “so I just need to know one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Do you want me to be a part of your life?”

“Yes. Always.” You answered truthfully, without a doubt in your mind. He smiled, but there was still something behind his eyes.

“Hey, do you remember that pact we made in eighth grade?” He suddenly asked, his eyes twinkling.

“The marriage one?” you scanned your eighth grade memories and that was the only pact you could think of.

“Yeah, the one where we said if neither of us are married by the time we’re thirty, we’ll marry each other?”

“Yes, I remember.” It was during PE class, when you and Jaehyun were sitting in the field while everyone else was running around chasing soccer balls. You don’t remember how the subject came up, but soon enough you were doing pinky swears and Jaehyun was fashioning rings out of blades of grass for you and him to wear. You both had a good laugh over it, and never thought about it again until this moment.

“So what if we didn’t wait?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if we didn’t wait until we’re thirty, what if we just did it now? I mean, we’re having a baby together already.”

“Jaehyun, are you proposing right now?” you said it as a joke, even chuckling to yourself, you weren’t taking the whole thing seriously at all, except Jaehyun wasn’t laughing.

“I mean, I don’t have a ring, but…” he looked around the room, and seeing your spider plant on a nearby table he picked a leaf off and rolled it around itself, making a ring out of it, and slipped it on your finger. You were speechless.

“Jaehyun, you’re serious.” You managed to say after the thoughts stopped running through your brain. You hadn’t really thought about marriage, none of the guys you’d dated had ever made you think about it. You knew you wanted kids, but marriage was something you figured you couldn’t achieve, never having found the right guy. Yet here he was all along, Jeong Jaehyun,  your best friend, someone who knew you inside and out. A dawning realization hit you then, that maybe none of your relationships ever worked out because you kept comparing them to Jaehyun, and no one ever held up. You were in love with your best friend, and you didn’t even know it.

“Well?” he asked, with raised eyebrows and hopeful eyes. You stared at the leaf ring on your finger, turning it around and around, your heart and mind finally finding peace in your realization. You looked up at him, cupping his face, and he looked like he was bracing himself for a possibly negative response.

“Yes.” You answered, smiling brightly at him, and it took him a moment to realize you weren’t turning him down. His face broke out into a wide grin, his dimples as deep as ever, his eyes shiny. He pulled you in for a hug, but your belly made it somewhat awkward.

“Oh my god, Y/N, you’re huge!” he looked down at your belly in awe.

“Jaehyun what the fuck!” you smacked him on the arm, slightly offended.

“No, I meant I was too busy being worried about you that I never noticed how big your belly had gotten.” He reached out his hand tentatively. “Can I touch?”

“Of course,” you said, happy that you could share this with him. You took his hand and placed it on your belly.

“Can you feel the baby move?” He asked, eyes growing wide when his hand landed on your stomach.

“Sometimes, mostly when I’m lying still though.” You let him rub his hand over your stomach, endeared at how awestruck he was, his mouth forming a little ‘o’ as he moved his hand around. He suddenly leaned forward, his face getting very close to your belly.

“Hey little one,” he called softly, and your heart clenched at the sight of him talking to the baby in your belly, “I’m your dad.”

Suddenly you felt a jolt in your ribs, as the baby stretched and kicked inside you.

“Oh my god, Y/N! Did you feel that?” Jaehyun clapped excitedly.

“Damn right I felt it,” you groaned, patting your stomach, “keep it down in there, kicking mama in the ribs really hurts!”

Jaehyun burst out laughing, gathering you in his arms and hugging you tightly. “That was adorable!” he exclaimed, and your heart felt warm as you wrapped your arms around him.

---

You decided to just do a small backyard ceremony for your wedding, neither of you fond of big parties that meant even bigger expenses. Jaehyun moved into your house since he had been rooming with a friend, and once all of his things had been moved in and installed, you were left alone with each other once again.

You don’t know why, but your first night as a married couple felt like the first night you’d had sex, awkward as hell. Once again you stood on either side of the bed, unsure as to what to do.

“Bed?” he finally asked after you’d both stood there for too long.

“Bed,” you answered, and you both got in at the same time. You couldn’t help but laugh at your awkwardness, and that certainly broke the tension. You turned to your side, the only way you could get comfortable with how big your belly was, and he slotted his body behind you, wrapping an arm around you and resting his hand on your belly. You sighed contentedly, loving the feeling of being in his arms.

“This is nice,” he whispered, but his breath against your ear made you shiver, and suddenly contentment wasn’t the only thing you were feeling. Not to mention his hand that was on your belly had moved to your hip, fingers tracing wide circles over the fabric of your sleep shorts.

“Jaehyun,” you didn’t mean to, but his name came out in a moan, and his hand stopped its circuit, the faintest bit of pressure being applied to your hip.

“Y/N?” he questioned, but you were taking his hand and moving it up to your breasts. Once he cupped them you moaned again. “Holy shit, Y/N, your boobs are huge!”

“Jaehyun!” you reprimanded him, but he apologized quickly.

“Sorry, sorry, I just-” he cupped and squeezed, feeling the weight of them, “wow,” was all he could say.

“Well they won’t be this big for too long, so you better take advantage of them now,” you encouraged, and he did, tweaking your nipples until you were moaning into your pillow.

“Tell me if I do anything that hurts, or makes you feel uncomfortable, okay?” he whispered into your ear, before he started to plant wet kisses along your neck and shoulder. Your mind went hazy at the feeling of his lips on your skin, and soon he slipped a hand down, past the waistband of your shorts.

You inhaled sharply when his fingers found you wet, when he gathered some of your arousal to rub it around your clit. You moaned loudly when he made circles around your bud, pressing your face further into your pillow.

“Don’t do that, baby, I wanna hear you,” he pulled the covers off and pushed your pillow away, helping you take off your shirt and the rest of your clothes so you were fully exposed to him. He looked at you, lust and hunger clouding his eyes. “Fuck, you look so gorgeous knocked up with my baby.”

Your pussy clenched at his words and you pulled at his own clothes to get him to take them off. “Come here and fuck me, husband.”

Your words ignited something in him, and he bent down, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder and pushing into you. You cried out, not caring anymore how loud you were being, the feeling of his cock inside you throwing you into the heights of pleasure. Once you started though, you couldn’t stop, moans and whimpers and whines tumbling out of your lips as he pumped his cock inside you.

“You like it, don’t you?” he growled, “you like my cock so much you let me knock you up.”

You moaned even louder at his words, your orgasm starting to build in the pit of your stomach. “Yes, god, yes!”

“You want my cum, baby? Look at where it got you, huh? You let me come inside you and now you’re knocked up.” His voice was raspy, deep, and it cut right to your core.

“Fuck, Jaehyun! I’m gonna come!” you warned him, grasping at the sheets as your orgasm hit you, your pussy pulsing around his cock. It didn’t take much longer for him to come, one last thrust that took your breath away, and he spilled his seed into you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, brushing aside a strand of hair that had fallen into your face, “did it hurt at all?”

“No, not at all, it felt good,” you smiled at him, wanting to alleviate his concern. He looked relieved, before he bent down and kissed the swell of your stomach.

“Sorry, baby,” he said sheepishly, addressing the baby, and you could only laugh, rubbing a hand through his hair as he smiled up at you.

---

The next day Jaehyun had left for work, and you were almost out the door yourself when you felt something gush between your legs. You figured you knew what it was and, resolved to stay calm, you quickly called Jaehyun.

“Babe, what is it?” he answered on the first ring.

“I think my water broke.” 

“Okay, stay calm, I’m on my way back.”

It didn’t take long for him to come back since he’d just left, and you drove to the hospital all the while holding tightly to his hand. The contractions started then, not too bad at first but as time went on the pain was hard to bear. By the time you reached the hospital you were grimacing in pain and Jaehyun was yelling for someone to come and help you.

You labored for hours, Jaehyun never leaving your side, giving you strength even when you felt like you had no more to give. You wondered how you could have ever done this without him, without his unwavering support, his cheerful but calm demeanor raising you up when you felt like giving in. Soon enough you had a healthy baby in your hands, a boy that an ecstatic Jaehyun had already dubbed his ‘mini me’.

---

If you had known what the first few weeks with a newborn would have been like you would have seriously rethought having a baby in the first place. You were exhausted more than you had ever been in your life, catching sleep for only those precious moments when the baby would sleep. Your breasts were sore from breastfeeding, and if you never saw another poopy diaper in your life it would be too soon. What made it all worth it, was the look of pure innocence in your baby’s eyes, and the way your husband would stare at him like he was the most precious person in the world.

One night you were woken again by the baby’s cries, and trudging to his room you were surprised to see Jaehyun already there.

“Sorry to wake you,” he whispered, “I was changing him and he lost his binky.” You stood in the doorway and watched as your husband expertly handled your son, swaddling him in his blankets and making sure the pacifier was situated in his mouth. “Go back to bed, I got this.”

Jaehyun had done many things during your time together that you considered sexy, but this was probably the sexiest thing he had ever done. You walked back to your bedroom, mentally reminding yourself to reward him when you were more awake.

You lay in bed though, unable to fall back asleep. Your mind was racing, anxieties resurfacing at that dark and quiet time of night. Jaehyun eventually came back, sliding into the bed and spooning you, his arm coming to wrap around your waist.

“Jae?” you whispered, hoping he hadn’t fallen back asleep right away.

“Hm? I thought you were asleep.” He sounded tired, tightening his arm around you.

“Is this the life you wanted?” you asked him, rubbing his arm that was wrapped around you.

“Absolutely.” He answered, without hesitation.

“No, I’m serious.”

“So am I. Why wouldn’t you think I was being serious?” he suddenly propped himself up on his elbow so he could see your face.

“Because you had a life before this, and now it’s just-” you waved your hand in the air, “me and the baby.”

“Just you and the baby? Y/N, you and Yuno are the most important things in my life right now.” He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “Yeah I had Friday night drinks and Sunday basketball games, and that was fun and all, but you two are my family now.”

“Don’t you miss it?”

“If I did I’d just go and do it? So no, I don’t miss it right now. Maybe eventually? But that doesn’t mean I’d love you and Yuno less.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d told you he loved you, but you knew you’d never get tired of hearing it. You’d been surprised when he’d told you he’d been in love with you for a while, not daring to say anything about it for fear of ruining your friendship. When you’d told him that you wanted to have a baby he knew that there was no one else in the world that he wanted to bear his children except you, and he was relieved when you accepted his offer of being a sperm donor. He had been prepared to be just that, but the sex threw everything into chaos, including his feelings for you and his resolve to keep your relationship as just friends. He felt himself falling even deeper for you, but his heart couldn’t handle the push and pull he was feeling from you. He never wanted to pull out of your life, and he spent more time staring at his phone waiting for you to call or text than he dared to admit. Bringing up the marriage pact had been a gamble, and he was terrified that you’d say no, but when you said yes, he could barely contain his happiness.

“Listen,” he said, taking your hand in his, “this life is more than I could have ever asked for.”

“Really?” you asked, turning to look at him, “With me?”

“Baby, it’s always been you.”