#that he does more consider the spirits like little small animal nuisances that need to be trapped rather than convinced to help | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anonymous-jpeg · 4 years ago

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*beep boop* *robotic voice* here you go

Pebbles skittered as I clung to the side of the building. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind this evening,” I said, as I made my way around the large edifice.

“Hey,” I asked Robin, “how many synonyms for ‘building’ can you think of?”

He blinked at me. “Why are you asking me this right now?”

I shrugged. “I dunno.”

He let out a long, exasperated sigh. “We are literally in the middle of a job, and you’re asking me about building synonyms?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then. Let me see...um…construction, edifice, hut, architecture, domicile, home, erection, framework, I guess.”

“Hmmm, most of those wouldn’t work for this exact building. I mean, nobody would really call a tavern a home, do you?”

He looked at me, and replied, “First of all, I know you are a good thief, but most don’t make chat during the job. That’s typically reserved for afterwards.”

“What can I say, I’m a special person.”

He sighed, and said, “You got that right. And most taverns don’t have 4 stories. Remind me, why is this one so tall?”

I shrugged, and told him, “I’m not sure, a lot of customers, I guess. It isn’t known as the best tavern for 500 kilometers for nothing. Most only get about 10 guests a night, this one gets almost 75.”

“We should really focus on the task we have on hand, don’t you think?”

I sighed, and said, “Fine. But how much farther do we have to go, anyway?” He reminded me that we had three more rooms to go by before we got to the correct one, and we continued on our way, slowly making progress, just two friends vibing on the wall of a dark tavern. As we were edging our way to our destination, I quietly said, “we need music. Where’s our bard?”

Robin quite exasperatedly replied, “Dude, we are literally thieves trying to be sneaky and quiet so that we aren’t caught. We definitely don’t need a bard right now.”

“But what if we get caught and we need to seduce the halfling?”

“We aren’t going to get caught. The only way we would get caught would be if we had a bard that would make so much noise that everyone in the tri-state area would awaken.”

“That’s fair enough. Well then, I shall hum under my breath.”

“Do not hum under your breath.”

“Fine.”

Each of the rooms had a small balcony, which made moving across them easier. The beginning was the hardest, because we didn’t start with a balcony, but once we got to the first, we could move across it and then jump to the next. We didn’t always make it all the way, but we were careful enough to jump close enough to the wall so that we could land on the small strip of extruded wall and not fall to our likely deaths. I tried multiple times to make small talk, but Robin was not in the mood. He apparently was ‘focused on the mission’ and ‘didn’t have time for my nuisances’. As we got closer, I got quieter, until we were on the correct balcony.

“Now remember,” Robin said seriously, staring me in the eyes, “This particular barbarian is very dangerous. You already know this, but I think I should refresh your memory, just in case you decide to do things because ‘you only live once’. He is one of those very special barbarians that we’ve been tracking, one that covers himself in those runes. They will amplify his strength, and go even crazier than normal.

“Under no circumstances are you to wake him up, do you understand me? He will rip us to shreds, and I’m too pretty to die. To be honest, I don’t think we should be doing this anyway. A little talisman isn’t worth this kind of risk.”

“It is when that ‘little talisman’ could turn him into a hulking rage monster, should he handle it improperly,” I rebuked.

“Oh, so we’re Good Samaritans now, making sure he doesn’t destroy stuff? Maybe we should go down and kill us some dark elves while we’re at it, or go after bandits for the lols.”

“Come on man, it’s not like that. I just don’t want to die because of him, and plus, that talisman can fetch a hefty price. We’re gonna need money if we’re going to succeed in nabbing that staff, didn’t we agree?”

“Yeah, speaking of which, didn’t I only agree to that one theft? The only reason I’m here is because, and I quote, ‘I’d make a mess of things if I went in by myself, and we really need the money it’ll fetch if we’re going to take that staff.’ You haven’t even told me why the staff is special. You’ve been really evasive about it.”

“I promise, it’s for a good reason. Now, let’s focus on what we’re doing here. We need to be careful, and we’re burning moonlight,” I told him. We carefully brushed aside the curtains so we could peer into the room, and saw that the barbarian was lying on his bed, half-naked, his runes glowing softly in the darkness. We started using a system of hand signals to communicate, similar to, but simpler than, the hand code of the drow. We walked softly into the room, my enchanted boots making not a sound, Robin’s normal ones making barely more. We crept through the room, being careful about potential dangers, but not too worried, as barbarians almost never set up defenses because of their overconfidence. I walked toward the closet, which was covered with a curtain, which I pulled back. There was nothing to note, other than a wicked club which was studded with sharp-looking metals. I left everything where it was, except for an orange I found in a bag. Robin clicked softly to get my attention, and then gestured toward the barbarians chest. The talisman lay there, shrouded by chest fur, and quite obviously unobtainable. To try would be to wake up the beast of a man, which was like inviting Death itself into your home.

“I’m going to snatch it and run,” I signalled, to which Robin replied, “NO. No you are not.”

“Get out of here,” I said while creeping toward him, “I know I can make it out, but only if you aren’t here. Go, and I’ll follow.”

He rolled his eyes, but went out onto the balcony and started climbing down. I plotted what I would do, which ended up being pretty simple. I’d yank it off his thick neck, then run and try to jump to the next building. I went to the balcony, and noted the distance to the shop next door, as well as the fact that Robin had made it down safely. I walked back to the sleeping form, and readied myself. Just reach down and take it. By the time he would awake and come after you, you’ll be on the next roof, making your grand escape, and he’ll never know it was you. Go on. Do it. I carefully reached through the hair, and wrapped my fist around the magical thing. I pulled it off his meaty neck and tried to run, but his fist was around my neck before I had taken a step.

He growled at me, very angrily, as the runes started to glow brighter. He marched over to the balcony, and threw me as hard as he could, which was a bit of an inconvenience, but also helpful, because it meant I was no longer near him and his strong grasp.

I hit the ground painfully, groaning. Why did being thrown have to hurt so much? I heard someone running toward me, but couldn’t muster the strength to look at them.

“This is bad, this is bad, this is bad, why did I agree to this, this stupid idiot probably got himself killed, and now I have no one to talk to,” I heard a familiar voice say. Robin knelt down next to me, and, with concern in his eyes, asked me, “hey, are you okay? You’re bleeding quite a lot.” I laughed, and replied, “Yeah, but you should see the other truck. He’s really quite strong, and I don’t think I used that idiom, or whatever, correctly. Anyway, I should probably see a doctor or something, because everything hurts. Also, what’s your last name? I feel like we should tell each other this, because we’re so close. Mine’s Naïlo.”

He looked at me, and said, “Yeah, this is bad. You only ramble this badly when you are trying to take my attention away from something else. In this case, I think you’re trying to keep me from noticing that your foot is backwards.”

I raised my head, and looked down at my body. “My foot is backwards? Huh. That’s why it hurts this much. I thought it was just my entire body. Yeah, we should get to a doctor.”

He grabbed under my arms, and tried to lift me. “OW! Ow, ow, ow. Yeah, that isn’t gonna work,” I said. “Maybe grab a stretcher, or bring a healing mage here?”

“Fine.” He left to do that, and I just laid there, looking up at the stars and wondering why I did things like this. Probably because I’m an idiot. It was actually kinda nice here, kinda calm, relaxing, other than the pool of blood that was getting larger around me and the utter pain my body was going through. Eventually, I fell unconscious.

When I came to, Robin was kneeling over me, as well as a second person that I could only assume was a mage, considering that my body no longer hurt as much.

“Hey,” I said, “is it as bad as it felt?”

“Luckily, no,” he responded, staring at my abdomen instead of my face. The mage stood up, and held out his (to be honest, I have no idea their gender, I never found out, so I’m using male pronouns) hand, demanding payment. Robin handed over a couple gold coins, and the mage left. He helped me stand up, and though I wobbled for a few seconds, I quickly recovered.

“Well, that went well,” I told him, showing him the talisman I had stored in a secret pocket of my clothes. He laughed, and we started to walk back to the guild. “Hey, so what does it do, anyway?” he asked, as he stretched his body toward the sky.

“I have no clue, but I’m sure our client is a good person. She had a good demeanor, don’t you think?”

Robin sighed, and responded, “The only reason she gave us this job was because she had heard your reputation. She literally threatened to cave your skull in.”

I spread my hands, my hair turning pink. “She only said that because I pointed out she had a bird in her hair. What was I supposed to do, not stare at it?”

“She was a druid, obviously. Yes, they don’t typically threaten people, but it is possible she likes animals and hates the more sentient life.”

“Eh, whatever. It’s probably like a spirit gem or whatever druids like. Likely unimportant to us.”

We returned to the guild, slept through the rest of the night, and the next morning set out to find the druid. We found her at a tavern, one a few blocks away from the one we had visited that night. She was at a corner table, staring into her mead and probably thinking some nature-esque thoughts, I don’t know what druids think. When we got close, she quickly looked up at us, looking scared.

“Do you have it?” she asked hurriedly, grabbing at my arm.

“Chill, yes, I have it,” I replied, and took out the talisman. I hadn’t really taken a close look at it before, as I had been busy getting tossed around and/or knocked out. It had the imprint of a unicorn on it, and it seemed to be made of some kind of silver or other such material. She swiped it from my grasp, and just as I was moving toward her, indignant, she pushed a bag toward me. I opened it, saw that it had the correct amount of payment, and looked back up. She had disappeared, which wasn’t surprising, considering how paranoid she had acted, and so Robin took the bag and we left.

When we got back to the guild, we sorted out the reward. It was sizable, perhaps a little more than the amount of work we went to, or at least the amount of work Robin had gone to.

“So, what happens now?” he asked me.

“Well, right now? I am going to go get a new blade,” I responded, “and then another job.”

“Why do you need a new blade? The one you have works fine,” he asked me. I tossed my current sword at him, and replied, “Yes, but I’ve had that one a while now and I’ve been looking at a magical one for a while now. Well, I’m off.”

As I left the guild, I passed Sylvan, a male elf who has constantly tried to one-up me, even though I couldn’t care less about him. I ignored him, even when he tossed his half-eaten sandwich at me. He’s a real jerk, and is probably just intimidated by me. At least, that’s what I’ll keep telling myself until I finally decide to do something.

I found myself at Durtor’s blacksmith shop, which looked the same as pretty much any other blacksmith’s, except with a bit more magic, as Durtor’s specialty was enchanting. He greeted me, and I replied in kind. He asked me, “What do you want, Alushtas? That blade I gave you was supposed to last at least a decade, and it’s barely been two years.”

“That is true, and it was a good blade, but I desire something else. It is fairly special, and will most certainly be expensive, but I’m sure I can pay.”

“Ah? So what’ll it be?”

“I’m not sure exactly what it is called, but I want a sword that can shift dimensions according to my will, such that it will disappear and reappear when I want, if that makes sense.”

“Hmm… I think I know what you are talking about, and you are correct in that it will be expensive. I can make such a blade in about a week, or, if you would rather enchant an existing sword, it would probably take about 2 days to properly set. Which will it be?”

“I want a new blade. You know that the newer a weapon is, the better the enchantment will be. Also, I know you are always working on improving yourself, and I am confident a new sword will be well worth the price.”

Durtor nodded, and turned away. “I’d better get started,” he said, as he moved through his workspace. “But there are a few things I need to know.”

I gave him the necessary information. I wanted, actually, two blades, a shortsword and a longsword, which would “take a bit longer, probably closer to two weeks. This is the stuff you need to tell me at the beginning, okay?” They were to be made out of mithril, a rare ore that “really drives up the price, are you sure? Other metals are pretty good too. Really? Okay, okay, fine.” A few other details were necessary, but not really important for just anyone to know.

Over the next two weeks, I did a few more jobs, but nothing very exciting. I was really just filling the time until I could have my new blades, which I had decided to call my ‘vorpal blades’, because it sounded cool, even though an actual vorpal blade simply could decapitate a person and any of mine could do that if necessary.

After the two weeks, I went to pick up my new weapons. It was a Mountday, and I was, to be perfectly honest, quite excited. I had never had magical blades, as I had thought them unnecessary, but I had made an exception for these.

“You must bind them to your will,” Durtor told me, “or else they will never obey you.” That seemed kinda obvious to me, but hey, it was a fair assumption about my intelligence. “What do I need to do, anyway?”

“You must take hold of one of the swords, with both hands.” I did so, feeling like a paladin or something. “Now, press the tip into your forehead, enough to take a drop of blood.”

“This sounds painful, but most rituals are.”

“Yes, blood is a powerful bonding tool. Now just do it already.” I moved the longsword until the cool metal of the tip rested against my head, and then pressed it as Durtor had told me to. A drop of blood fell onto the blade, and ran down it until it hit the guard, where it soaked in. I felt a shiver go down my spine, as a feeling of openness surrounded me.

“You may feel overwhelmed by the many strange feelings coming over you. This is a synchronicity with the sword, which shares with you the vast feeling of many dimensions. No matter where you go, this blade will follow you, and you will control its power. It is a weapon sought after by many, though as long as you live, only you will be its master. Guard it well, for it is a great tool, and it will guard you as well. Now, the other one.”

We did the same process with the shortsword, including Durtor’s speech, which probably contained power in and of itself. Following that, I followed him to the training arena, where several magical fighters stood at attention. They were unintelligent dummies, set at several levels, for fighting against, both newbies and veterans with weapons. I selected ones about middling level, so that I could practice with these different swords. In addition to the two vorpal blades, I had shield-like protection on my forearms, leather armor on the rest of my body, a dagger hidden on the side of my boot, two more daggers in my coat, and a shortbow slung across my back, with a quiver of arrows. I walked into the arena, readied my swords, and called out to start.

Two dummies ran at me from an archway, one with a hand and a half sword, the other with a club. I quickly checked around me to make sure that no other enemies were coming, and, reassured that these were the only ones here, moved such that the one with the club was directly in front of the sword dummy, thus giving myself one target at a time.

The dummy swung the club at me, which I easily dodged back to avoid, then I rushed forward and plunged the longsword into its chest. It lurched to the side, and I phased my blade so that I wouldn’t be knocked off balance. The sword only contained the weight of the handle when phased, which was good to know, so that I wouldn’t overcommit myself or make a mistake based on weight, and I rolled to the side to dodge the next swing.

Almost too late, I remembered the other dummy, and moved my arm shield to block the strike I heard coming from my left side. I brought my shortsword in, hooked the much larger sword with the guard, and braced myself. The dummy pushed hard, trying to use brute force to overpower my blade, when I moved my body to the side and phased my sword. The dummy fell, overbalanced, and I calmly stabbed it in the head, the only place capable of deactivating them. The club dummy was up now, and coming for me. It brought the club down hard, but I rolled to my right and quickly switched my blades (my typical arrangement is longsword right hand, shortsword left hand). I brought my longsword into the thing’s back, shoved it to the ground, and stabbed it in the head with the shortsword. The fight now over, the two dummies got up and went back to their storage area, waiting for the next fight.

“Impressive,” Robin said, walking up to me.

“Sloppy,” I corrected, panting, “but I can improve. Were you watching the entire fight?”

“First of all, I was talking about the swords themselves. You, however, were terrible. Second of all, yes, I saw the whole thing. Making them come at you one at a time was a good idea, but you have to remember that they are both there. I saw your surprise when you had to block that sword dummy. Good move with the phasing out, though. Could be very useful in the future.”

I shook my head, amazed at what he had said. “Yes, that is why I got them. That is exactly what I wanted.”

He raised his hands, shrugged, and replied, “Hey, I didn’t know what kind of swords you were going for. Two weeks ago, you just told me ‘I want a new magical blade and hey, here’s my current one because I’ve only had it for two years and don’t want it anymore’.”

“That was a pretty good impression of me. Good job,” I said, and he smiled.

“Why do I even hang out with you?” he asked, “because all you do is the wrong or rash thing and never tell me anything.”

“It’s either my winning personality or the fact that you are the one that recruited me into the guild.”

“Well, it’s certainly not your personality.”

“Haha, very funny. Now, let’s go get us something else to do. I’m bored.”

We made our way to a tavern (taverns are great, they are like restaurants mixed with motels, aka motels with good food) and got some food, because it was about midday.

“Hey,” I said to get his attention, “you wanna steal from that dude I told you about right after telling you about getting these epic boots?”

Robin shrugged. “Sure,” he said. “Now, what about this mage do we need to know?”

“Well, they are very powerful and dangerous. Their name is Noxlumos, or the light in the darkness, which is all cool and all, but their staff is the good bit. I’m not sure if it teleports the user, or makes them invisible or what, but I know it doesn’t have a master because I’ve seen multiple people use it. They live at the edge of town, and I know they have very good defenses. We will have to be extremely cautious, but I think we can do it.”

He sighed. “Well, I’ve been waiting for a good reason to die, and this seems like it. Let’s do it.”

As per every mission we do, we had to get the necessary materials. I went to the blacksmith’s again, as well as a magical item shop and a general shop. I made a couple other stops, which aren’t necessary to mention, and I had all my equipment. I met up with Robin at the guild, and used our hand code to ask him whether he had the things I asked him to get. He said that he did, and we were ready to go. When we got near, we saw what we were up against.

They had a large house, more like a mansion, with grass out front, and a stone path up to it. It was very nice, except for the clay golem out front.

“Well, that makes things a bit more difficult,” I said.

“Wait, you did scope this place out first, right? That’s how you knew what to get?” he asked, worriedly.

“Yes, I knew to scope the house out, but this is a new addition. Makes me wonder what else might be in there. Eh, no matter. We got this. Just need to sneak past a creature designed to not sneak.”

He sighed. “You know, I was joking when I said I was ready to die, but hey, whatever. Let’s do this.”

We crept around to the side of the house, and started to climb it. I made it to a second story window, which had actual glass in it, went up onto the windowsill, and waited for Robin to join me.

“Now, I don’t know exactly what we’re going to find here. I know most of the defenses, but I can’t be 100% sure of everything, and the layout of the house and where the staff is isn’t really known to me, except for perhaps an idea based off of other houses of similar construction,” I told him.

“Okay, let’s just go. I’ve resigned myself to this fate, let’s get it over with,” he replied.

I used my shortsword to cut a hole in the glass (gotta love freshly sharpened blades!), and we quietly climbed through. We found ourselves in what looked like a bathroom, except everything was white. It seemed to be made of some kind of stone, like quartz, though much more fragile, from the way it felt. In fact, the entire room was like something out of a fantasy book, with many strange and unknown things in it. We were very confused by the whole thing, and so moved on. We went into the hallway, which was covered in rug-like material, like a carpet over the flooring. We neutralized any alarms we found, and almost activated a few before noticing them

‘This “mage” seems much more powerful than I thought’ Robin signalled at me.

‘Yes, it is possible he is a wizard, but I only knew he used magic, not exactly what kind,’ I responded. ‘Now be quiet. We don’t want to attract attention.’

We continued, looking through the rooms, finding many strange-looking things which we didn’t touch, for we did not know what they would do, and we were too smart to risk it. We found what appeared to be a kitchen, dining room, and living area, but no sign of the staff. Finally, we found a bedroom, which contained the wizard, sleeping in a large bed.

‘Since I have the magical boots and know what the staff looks like, I’ll head in. If I see the staff, I’ll signal you and grab it,’ I told him, and he nodded in agreement.

I crept into the room, careful to make sure my boots made not a sound. I looked around, but couldn’t immediately see the staff. I moved to the side of the bed and looked under it. Nothing was underneath, and so I turned toward the closet that was to the left of the entrance. It was full of wizard clothing, as one might expect, but there was something else that I could make out. It didn’t appear to be the staff, but I was curious. I moved close to the closet, and saw a bow. Well, I thought, that is good to know, I suppose. I looked around again, and saw a chest on the other side of the room, which might contain something magical. I quietly moved toward it, and used one of my charms, which was supposed to Detect Monsters. I had encountered a Mimic before, and had no desire to do so again, especially right next to a wizard. It seemed to be a normal chest, so I used a few more charms to check and neutralize any alarms I could find on it, oiled the hinges so it wouldn’t creak, and then it was time.

I reached for the chest, readied myself, and opened the lid quickly. It is always best to do certain things quickly, similar to ripping off a bandage. The chest opened smoothly, and didn’t seem to trigger any alarms, though I looked at the wizard to make sure they weren’t awake. I looked into the chest and -

“Eureka,” I said under my breath, reaching in and taking out the staff. It was long, probably about 5 feet tall, and I couldn’t understand how it fit in the chest at first, until I realized it was a Chest of Compression, which made items smaller when they are put in them. It was fairly nondescript, a tall, wooden pole, except for the top, where the image of a spider stood, raised on all 8 legs, in bronze. On its abdomen was a gem, and its eyes were studded ruby. I had seen it before, and so knew it was the correct staff, as well as the thrill of power running through it.

I moved back out into the hall after closing the lid of the chest carefully, and signalled to Robin that I had the staff, to which he replied, ‘Well, I think that’s obvious, considering the fact that you are holding it.’ I told him not to be a smart aleck, and we made our way back through the strange room to where we had entered. I wrapped the staff in cloth, strapped it to my back alongside my bow, and climbed back out the window. I quickly made my way down, and Robin followed. We crept away from the house, doing our best not to awaken the golem, and we must’ve done something right, because we made it all the way back to the guild without the beast coming after us.

The next day, Robin came over to my room. I had put the wrapped staff under my bed, where it had lain below me while I meditated. When he got there, I took out the staff, and slowly unwrapped it. In the daylight coming in from my window, we could better see the figure at the top. It was definitely a spider, and the crystal in its abdomen looked like a blue amethyst, in the shape of an hourglass.

“This almost definitely has some kind of symbolism or significance to it,” I said, “but I have no idea what. Eh, I’m sure it’ll come up again later.”

Robin sighed. “That’s a terrible way to go through life, but okay.”

“Come on, man, let’s see what it can do. Actually, scratch that. Let’s check it for malevolence, and then use it!”

We left my room, and went to our wizard’s quarters. We handed him the staff, told him we found it in a shop and liked it, and asked him to check it for anything evil. He found nothing, except that it contained very potent magic, and wondered “what kind of shop will just sell something this powerful?” We shrugged, and went back to my room.

“Well, now can we try the stick?”

“Fine.”

I took out the staff, braced it against the floor, and gripped it with both hands.

“Do I have to say something, or will it just happen, or what?”

“Dude, I have no idea, you’re the one who saw people use it.”

“Okay, I think I just have to concentrate on… something… I’m not sure. Grab the staff as well, just in case, though.”

Robin grabbed the staff, just below where I was holding it, and I, not knowing what exactly I was doing, moved one of my hands and gripped the spider’s body in my hand, on top of the staff. A shiver went down my spine, similar to the thrill of power I felt when I first held it. One at a time, the spider’s legs moved, coming up for a second, and then settling back down on the staff. This freaked me out a bit, though I found that I couldn’t let go of it.

By this point, I was having second thoughts, especially as a wind picked up, circling throughout the room, and the amethyst set in the spider began to glow. Robin had already started screaming, and I was panicking a lot. My eyes wide, I tried to move away, but the staff was firmly stuck, attached to nothing, and I was attached to it, as was Robin. The room started to spin, or at least it appeared to, and colors were flying everywhere, reds and blues mixing and bathing the room in a multi-colored madness. The wind was at cyclone levels now, or so it felt, and my last thought before spinning into unconsciousness was, Please mommy, let me off of this ride, it isn’t fun. I’m guessing I was a little loopy from whatever was happening.

When I woke up, I was in a field. It seemed to be farmland, though the crop was unknown to me. It was tall, almost as tall as me, with some kind yellow thing on the end of long, green stalks. As it hadn’t attacked me, I had to assume it was either a passive entity or inanimate. Robin was laying next to me, with the staff nearby. I quickly rewrapped the staff, which looked the same as before we tried to use it, and tried to wake Robin up.

“Robin!” I said, slapping his cheek, “we need to go!”

“Wh-what?” he said groggily, his eyes opening up slightly. “Where are we?”

I looked around, and saw that it was about midday here, as well. “I’m not sure, but I don’t think it’s anywhere good.”

He got to his feet, I put the staff on my back again, and we started off. After about 10 minutes of walking, we saw something resembling a house, which we stopped to look at, though it was entirely blue and the structure was different from most of the houses I had seen in my life. The closest I could think of was the wizard’s house that we had stolen the staff from, which did not fill me with confidence or excitement.

“Well, we might as well go in,” Robin said, and I sighed and started to walk toward it again.

“Sure, while we’re here in this strange place, let’s go to the random house. That sounds like a great idea, yeah,” I said sarcastically, and we got to the door.

“Should we knock, sneak in, or what?” Robin asked me. I reached up and knocked, for I felt like being dangerous. A few seconds later, a woman answered the door. She was wearing strange fabric, and was very tan.

“Yeah? What do you want?” she asked exasperatedly, to which I replied, “Hello, um, where are we?” She blinked, and then laughed.

“Yeah, a lot of folks get lost out in the country. Your car must’ve broken down, huh? Well, if you follow that road-” She gestured to the side, where a road lay “-for a few miles, you’ll find yourselves in Chicago. Were you going to a convention of some kind? I didn’t know there was a Comic-Con going on around here, but I’m not really that kind of gal, so what do I know? Nice costumes, you must’ve put a lot of work into it.”

“Uh, thank you? We’ll be leaving now.”

“Okay, okay, I’m probably talking your ears off. Enjoy yourselves!”

As we walked over to the road, I mulled over what she had talked about. Cars? Chicago? Conventions? Comic-Con? Where were we?

We started to walk down the road. The sun beat down, burning us up, and strange machines whizzed by us at frightening speeds. Considering what the woman had told us, I assumed these were cars, which terrified me for what might happen should they break down at those speeds. Robin tried to make conversation, but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

After about an hour, we were both exhausted, though, in the distance, we saw buildings towering up into the sky, which I assumed was the city. Half an hour later, we were dragging ourselves up the road, and the city was laid out in front of us. It was terrifying, because wherever we were, the sky was blocked off mostly by the giant buildings, which looked like they were scraping the top of the world. We collapsed beneath one, and Robin almost immediately fell asleep. I, still watchful and cautious of a new place, sat in the lotus position and meditated.

When I was finished, about 4 hours later, I decided to leave. I set up some defenses, though one of my charms didn’t seem to be working properly, which was strange. As I walked through the city, I was glad to know that I could read all of the signs and such around it. It seemed to be in Common, though it possibly had an enchantment to let anyone read it in their main language. There were many strange and disturbing things, and the ‘cars’ seemed to take over most of the walking space. Many people stared at me, but I am used to that, especially because of my hair. I pulled my hood up to cover it, but they continued to look. I was getting pretty annoyed by that point, and so I moved into a building. It seemed to be some kind of clothing store, though not with any kind of armor or protection in general as something important. The main deciding factor in what people were buying seemed to be the design, which seemed inane and unimportant to me, but whatever.

I decided that I needed some new clothes so that I could fit in wherever we were, but I wasn’t willing to give up what I was already wearing. I decided to get a large blue sweater to wear over my clothing, with a hood so that I could cover my hair (and ears, for it didn’t seem like anyone else here was an elf). I decided to get some ‘sweatpants’, simply because they seemed to cover my legs the best while also allowing me to move. I brought them to the counter, where I tried to pay with a couple silver coins, the price I would gauge for the items, though apparently wherever we were used small, green slips of paper as currency. Somehow, I managed to get the clothes honestly, and get out of there. I had to find a place for my bow, which I simply ended up leaving behind near where Robin was, and I had to enchant the appearance of the staff so it didn’t look like it had the spider on it. Other than that, with the clothes I got (I forgot to get any for Robin, though he blended in a little better), I think I fit in enough to not draw too many looks.

When I returned to Robin, he was awake and standing. He looked a little upset, which I suppose he was entitled to considering I had left him alone here.

“So, where are we? Did you find that out when you left me here?” he asked, annoyed.

“Yes, I believe we are in the ‘Chicago’ the woman told us about, and the people here use green slips of paper for currency. Everyone speaks Common, so you don’t have to worry about that, though I only saw humans, not any dwarfs, elves, or even halflings.”

“Could be an entirely human settlement.”

“Maybe, but it seems too large for that. Also, the clothing store I went to didn’t have any armor or defenses at all, only thin fabric like this. In addition to that, some of my charms didn’t work. One of them almost blew up in my face, which definitely isn’t normal.”

“Let’s ask around, see if we can find where we are. We should split up and meet back in, hm, an hour? Yeah, an hour.”

We went in different directions, him down one street, me down another.

“Well, Alushtas,” I said under my breath to myself, “Where should you go to find out information?”

I looked around for a while, and saw some more stores that I decided I would not enter until I had the correct money to pay for items, as well as some residential buildings. Everything was extremely tall, even taller than the tavern we had stolen from weeks ago, and it all confused me quite a lot. Eventually, I found a pawn shop, which luckily didn’t look too different from the ones I had seen before, except for the neon signs and the human pawnbroker (most of the ones I knew were goblins or orcs, for whatever reason). I managed to trade some of my gold pieces for about $150, which seemed like a good amount. By this point, it had been half an hour, but I kept looking around.

After about 5 minutes, I saw a large building, mercifully not nearly as tall as the others surrounding me, but still quite big. By this point, I had decided that either we were in a very far away part of the world, or we had shifted dimensions. I went inside, intent on finding a mage that could help transport us back to Faerûn, but when I got to the person at the desk, who seemed to be someone in charge, all she told me was, “Look, sir (which I did not appreciate), there are flights to San Diego, California, you might find a convention there. I don’t know much about them, but I’ve heard of wizards at conventions.” I thanked her, and booked two tickets to California.

I returned to our meeting location about five minutes before Robin arrived. I told him what I suspected about where we were, and that there were wizards in California that might be able to give us the assistance we needed. He told me that he didn’t find anything, though he also managed to get some money, as well as some food. It was similar to foods back home, but strangely different as well.

We got to our flight a bit late, but managed to board, and it was terrifying! We were trapped in a metal tube, thousands of feet in the air, with nothing to do. It took about four and a half hours, and somehow Robin was able to relax. I hoped that I wouldn’t have to ride in such a monstrosity again, for I didn’t even like riding animals that flew, let alone mechanical beasts.

When we landed, I got as far away from the metal machine as quickly as possible, though I did collect the things I had in my luggage. I am not sure how we made it through security, as it seemed to have detectors of weapons, but I’m assuming Robin used some kind of magic to fool them. It was nearly night, so we looked around and found a place to spend the night. It was a motel, and didn’t cost too much, which was nice. We crashed into our beds, confident that the next day would bring us good fortune.

As an elf, I didn’t really sleep, I merely meditated. 4 hours of meditation for me is about the same as 8 hours of sleep for a human, I believe, and much more productive, for I can think, ponder, and contemplate as I desire while meditating, instead of being dead-brained or dreaming. I woke up much before Robin, and decided to explore again. I left him a note this time, and left the room.

The city was similar to Chicago, but definitely different as well. From what I saw, we were in luck, for the ‘Comic-con’ was going to be in about a week. I didn’t know exactly what a Comic-con was, but from what I’d been told, it definitely seemed like the sort of place where I’d find a wizard. Also, it quickly became clear that we had changed dimensions, and the only seemingly sentient creatures here were humans, with a lot of the other races I knew to exist living only in the pages of fantasy books and games. I found one roleplaying, tabletop game called Dungeons and Dragons, which had a lot of information about a lot of things that I knew about, including my own species. A large world that was a part of D&D, as it was called, was even called Faerûn, which freaked me out. After some thinking, I decided that someone had been to this universe, and created a game based off of our world, giving me hope that they may be able to help us escape.

When I returned, I found Robin eating breakfast. He didn’t seem angry that I had left, especially when I told him what I knew.

“Well, it’s a stretch,” he said, “but I think if an actual wizard was here, they would be at this Comic-con. I found some information, and apparently a lot of people dress up, or cosplay, as different fictional people or species, including, surprisingly, elves. Probably the only place in this realm that you can be uncovered without attracting attention.”

I laughed, and responded, “I think I’ll still attract attention, if just because my elf cosplay is so good.”

“Fair enough.”

We spent the week learning more about ‘Earth’, which is an interesting place. It seemed that magic did not naturally occur here, but could exist. It was what is known as a Chaos realm, where both technology and magic both exist, though magic did not always work correctly because it isn’t natural there. However, possibly because they were designed to go between dimensions, my Vorpal blades worked perfectly, which was wonderful in a world that, while being much more violent than most, absolutely did not tolerate using such blades.

The day before we went to Comic-Con, I believe it was a Wednesday, we really didn’t have anything to do. I was sick of learning about Earth, and Robin had learned as much as he needed to, which was good enough for him.

“So,” he said, walking up to me. I was leaning against a wall of the breakfast area of the motel, eating a bagel with cream cheese. “We have gotten to know each other, and grown, I think at least, to be friends. However, I don’t know anything about your past. All I know is that you are a thief, and a good conversationalist. Tell me about yourself.”

I took a deep breath, and thought for a minute. “Okay, do you want me to start all the way back at the beginning?”

“Yeah, I think that would be a good place to begin,” he said after a moment’s consideration.

“Okay, then. Let’s see… My birth was special, for most elves are born male or female. I, however, was born completely androgynous, with neither sexes’ genitals or anything, in the image of one of the elven gods, Corellon Larethian. At least in my culture, anyone can be anything, and gender doesn’t hold anyone back, though we androgynes are special. Because of our androgyny, we don’t experience puberty like other elves. It is difficult to explain, but the point is, we don’t experience sexual attraction or the normal mood swings or whatever of being a teenager. We cannot be seduced because of this, though I suppose we could be seduced romantically, because we can still feel romantic love. We typically become warriors or something like that, and I later chose to be a thief, because it’s fun.

“In addition to that, I also have my hair. It evidently changes color depending on my mood, which can make it difficult to hide my emotions, though it has helped me become more in tune with them than I believe others are. I do not know why it changes colors, though I have tried to find out in my past.

“I lived in elven woods, for, yes, I am a wood elf, and my woods were fairly safe, and there were some more wild woods next to ours. I believe there were animals there that we didn’t feel comfortable dealing with, and our woods were plentiful enough, and so we were content to stay where we were. There was a halfling settlement in our forest, not too far from the wild woods, and I spent a lot of time there. Some elves lived as caretakers for the young halflings, and one of those halflings was my best friend, a young boy named Tyr. We got into a lot of mischief, which probably got me on the path to be a thief and a rogue. He was a lot of fun, though, one day, when he was a teenager, he wanted to go with his sister and caretaker to explore some ruins he heard about in the wild woods. I advised him not to, as there was a reason we didn’t go there, but he didn’t listen to me. He got his stuff together, prepped himself for the mission, and left. I never saw him again.”

“That’s terrible,” Robin said sympathetically.

“Yeah. He told me he would be back in 2 weeks, but after a month, I was disparaged. After it had been 2 months, I felt incredibly guilty. I felt that if I had gone with him, I could’ve protected him. I left home, for it held too many memories of him, and went out into the world.

“I traveled around a bit, ended up in Ten-Towns, and stayed for a bit. Eventually, I moved on, and moved around more. Finally, I ended up in Calimport, where I became a thief. You heard about my first job, and then I just kind of made my way around until I found my way here. That’s about it for me, I think. What about you?”

Robin sighed. “My story really isn’t that exciting. Still, I guess I can’t dissuade you. I lived with my parents until I was 16, when I was kicked out for being aromantic and asexual. Humans are, unfortunately, much less accepting than other races. Anyway, similar to you, I kinda just went around, being a street rat, stealing what I needed. Eventually, I managed to pull off such a big stunt that, of course, my current guild found and recruited me, just as I recruited you.”

“That is certainly shorter than my backstory, though just as important. I’m sorry about your parents.”

He shrugged, and said, “Eh, yeah, I’ve gotten used to it. It hurt at first, but by now I haven’t talked to them at all, and I’ve understood that not everybody is accepting, and that is something that needs to be changed.”

“I didn’t know you were ace aro, why haven’t you told me?” I asked, cocking my head to one side.

“Didn’t feel the need to, I guess. I don’t know,” he responded sheepishly.

“That’s fair. Anyway, what do you want to do today? We’ve stood here for about half an hour, we still have like 10 hours or something about math and time.”

“Uh, I don’t know, there’s a park somewhere around here called SeaWorld, wanna go?”

I considered for a moment, and then replied, “Sure, as long as we can get in”

We went over to SeaWorld, where we luckily had enough to pay the entrance fee. To write, it wasn’t very exciting, though Robin did try to free the otters: “They’re just too cute to stay here! We have to help them!”. We rode the few rides there were, and in the end, I didn’t really enjoy the trip, because we both felt bad for the animals. When we got back, we reviewed our game plan for Comic-Con.

“So, we’re going to go as ourselves, because lots of people will be like that,” Robin said. “Your ‘costume’ is the best of anyone’s around, obviously, and so you will probably draw a crowd. Do your thing, use those blades, dazzle them. I’ll be looking for anyone that looks like they are too interested in what you’re doing, and approach them. I know what I’m going to say, though I will definitely end up improvising. I’m sure we’ll find someone that can help us.”

“Sounds good, and I’m hopeful we can get back soon,” I replied.

The next morning, we were both excited. We were finally going to get our answers. Fairly early that morning, we set out. It took us a bit to find the convention center, which Robin remarked upon: “This sounds exactly like the sort of thing we should’ve prepared for earlier this week”. I hate it when he’s right.

When we got there, we were awestruck at the spectacle before us. Hundreds of people, dressed as wizards, elves, orcs, comic book superheroes, video game characters, and soooooooo much more were there. Cosplayers of every kind, colors everywhere, it was incredible! I can’t begin to describe the wonder I felt, or everything I wondered at.

“All the hype was worth it,” Robin whispered to me, and I slowly nodded.

“This is… wow,” I responded, my eyes large. The twos of us, Robin and I, walked into the center, and my jaw dropped. It was even better than the outside! So many people, packed into the place! I knew it was big, but now I was wondering how exactly I was supposed to entertain everybody while Robin looked through them.

“Okay, slight change to the plan. I’m going to go up on that stage and begin my act. I’ll invite some people up, do some cool stuff. I’ll use a spell to broadcast my voice, for I think it’d be difficult to get a connected microphone headpiece thing. You get up there-” I pointed up to some of the pathways near the ceiling, probably so that those large posters on the wall could be hung, or something “- and use this charm of seeing” -I produced a small magnifying glass from my pocket - obviously enchanted, not just a magnifying glass “-and scan the crowd. You know what to look for, and, I don’t know, figure out a way to contact them. Maybe you have a charm, or something, I’m not sure. Improvise, you’re good at that!”

“This is a terrible idea,” Robin told me, “and you’re going to get kicked out. Still, I can’t think of a better idea.”

I grinned. “Good, and besides, if I do well enough, they won’t want me to leave. Now go up, and get ready.”

I waited while he made his way through back ways and such, until he was up on the pathways (I should really figure out what they are called, but we don’t have them where I come from, and I don’t feel like learning it). He tossed something down at me, not sure how it got to me through the crowd, and I looked questioningly at him. He mimed putting it in my ear, and it did look like some kind of earpiece. I gently placed it in my ear, wincing slightly, for I didn’t think it was meant for my pointy elven ears.

“Hey,” a voice that sounded like Robin’s came into my ear. I jumped, and looked up at him. He was grinning, of course.

“Can we communicate through these?” I hesitantly asked, to which I heard, while noticing it was definitely Robin speaking, “Yeah, I found a couple earpieces and tuned them to each other. Don’t know how I managed, but hey, if it ain't broke, don’t knock it.”

I chuckled, and responded, “Fair. Let’s get this show on the proverbial road and the literal stage.”

I pushed my way through the crowd, passing Captain Americas, Captain Rogers’, Captain Mal Reynolds’, and many others that were not Captains. Finally, I made my way to the stage. Wondering what exactly I would say, I jumped up onto it, where there were luckily no people, and muttered to myself, “I’m an introvert, and yet I’m here at such an extrovert place, about to do something terrifying. It’s a good thing I really want to get home, and I really hope this works.”

I activated my charm as people looked up at me, wondering what an elf was doing up on stage, and began speaking.

“Hello, all of you. You might be wondering what I’m doing up here on stage. To be honest, I am not sure either, but I think I’m supposed to give a demonstration or whatever it’s called for my cosplay, but they didn’t really tell me. Hey, can I get some boxes or something destructible up here?”

A couple confused convention workers brought up some empty boxes, while I sweated, wondering if I should make a run for it. Somehow, though, nobody came up and stopped me. I wasn’t even sure why there was a stage up here in the first place. Was an event or actual demonstration supposed to happen? Whatever the case, this was working, and I could see Robin up there scanning the crowd, though none of them really should be interested yet.

It was time to change that.

I deftly pulled out my sword, keeping it in this dimension. I did some basic fighter’s moves, which seemed to impress the people.

“This is one of two Vorpal blades of mine. The name is misleading, or rather, does not do my blades justice. A vorpal blade simply is one that has the capacity to decapitate a foe, especially in fantasy games such as Dungeons and Dragons. However, all of my blades are like that.”

A few nervous laughs floated to me. I looked up at Robin for support, and he gave me a thumbs up. He spoke to me, saying, “Now, tell them the special thing and give them a little demonstration.”

“Okay. My blades are special, for they are enchanted. They can change dimensions at my will, and thus pass through objects in this one when I desire, and join back up in this one to cut what I want.”

To demonstrate, I deftly stabbed my sword at the first box, phasing it just before it broke the flimsy cardboard.

“Now, that may not look impressive, as you do not know that my blades do any damage at all, or that these boxes were not staged so I would not appear to do any damage. Furthermore, optical illusions could render it such that I did not stab the cardboard at all, and thus am a fraud. Now, will someone please come up here? I really don’t care who.”

People murmured amongst themselves, until one person stepped forward.

“I will,” they said, and I asked them a little about themselves. They were John, a human male, who came alone, dressed as The Arrow from DC. He loved coming to Comic-Con, and was excited at the opportunity to be a part of what he thought of as a very real and planned demonstration. He came up on stage, and I appraised him.

“I loved your T.V. show,” I said, saying the first thing that popped into my head. I had never seen a single episode, but knew that it was a thing and hoped he wouldn’t question me.

He beamed at me, and said, “Thank you! You are a really good elf!”

“I try. Now,” I directed this at the crowd, “I shall prove, in front of a witness, that these blades are no joke.”

I quickly pulled the handles close to myself, phased them back into reality, and drove them into the boxes. They easily cut through them, for they were designed to cut through things much tougher than some boxes. I then rapidly whirled, phased my blades out of sync, swept the handles just in front of John’s face, and phased them back in sync with the world. I asked a stunned, slightly scared John to touch the blades, and he reported they were very sharp.

“Now, was that an optical illusion? I think not. I am also a great fighter, and master of small charms.” At this, I tossed up a charm I had created haphazardly and quickly earlier, which exploded into a sunburst of light. I had built it to be merely light and not also heat, a better model, I think, than the fireworks of Earth. I pulled another from my cloak, threw it to the ground, and watched as the image of a unicorn burst from it, dazzling the crowd as it dashed between them, an apparition and nothing more. After lapping the center, it returned to the charm, which I picked up. I asked John to return, and I thought about what I would do next.

I heard Robin tell me, “I may have found someone. Here, let me give you some sight.” Before I could protest, I was looking through one of Robin’s eyes and one of my own, which was quite disconcerting. I closed the eye connected to my own vision, and looked through Robin’s. He was looking at a wizard, quite a well done cosplay, perhaps too well done. He was staring attentively at me, but not the same way as the others. He wasn’t awed, or surprised, just kinda wide-eyed, like he couldn’t believe someone else was here. I nodded, prepared for vertigo, and opened my other eye.

After a moment, I noticed the position of the wizard. I noted him in my mind, noted where he was, and whispered to Robin to disconnect us. My vision was yanked back to my own perspective, which was nice, and I prepared my next bit. Everyone was still oohing and aahing at my magic, and so I decided to have a little fun.

“You there!” my voice boomed, my finger pointed at the wizard. He panicked, and I quickly said, “No, please, come on up. I won’t hurt you, I just want another person for my next part. John was lovely, but you look like you know some real magic!” I laughed, and the audience laughed as well. He was pushed forward, and reluctantly got up on stage.

“Now, what is your name?” I asked him, which was the polite way to go about things, I believed.

He glared at me, and responded, “I am Thuzhal, a wizard banished to this realm for many heinous acts.”

“Ooh, nice backstory. I like it! What kinds of acts?” I replied enthusiastically.

He sighed, and said, “Well, people don’t really ask me, so I say they’re heinous. I was just kinda messing around and apparently broke something important, and so I was magically exiled. I was trying to figure out how to get back in, looking through probably forbidden texts, when I tried a spell to return me to the place so I could undo my exile, but it instead sent me across dimensions and I ended up on this technology-ridden, climate-changed planet.”

I clapped, and people in the audience followed my example. “I like that! Gives you an objective, something dark, and just enough flare of mystery. Now, my good sir, I am also not from around here. I was transported here when I tried to figure out the true magical nature of my staff, here-” I gestured at the staff I had leaned against a wall, yes, obviously the one topped with the spider, “-and found myself in a cornfield in Illinois! Naturally, I was confused, as corn does not exist in my world, and I did not know that I had changed dimensions. Now, my man, I believe we can help each other! You know magic and magical items, and I have my staff! Now, for my demonstration…” I decided to try a little something. I pulled out my blades, and concentrated on making them visible, but slightly out of sync with Earth. The sword blades usually became invisible when phased, but I did my best to keep that from happening.

The blades flickered, trying to change dimensions, but I did my best. Eventually, they came into full view, but I passed them gently through my hand to make sure they weren’t physical. I then whirled and, similarly to what I did with John, tried to swing it through the wizard’s neck. However, he was also armed, and so tried to block my attack, which obviously failed. My blade passed straight through him, and he retaliated, swinging a small dagger at me with ferocity and a wild look in his eyes. From the way he handled his blade, I could tell he wasn’t experienced. This was going to end quickly, luckily, I thought, and parried his frenzied swing.

With a series of quick swipes, jabs, kicks, and punches, I disarmed the wizard and sent him to his knees. “Look, man, I didn’t want this to happen. I’m sorry for swinging at you, but it was part of the demonstration. You can get up and help me, or leave, alone, stuck here, probably never to return to your home. Which would you prefer?”

Thuzhal considered my words, and grudgingly got to his feet. I handed him his dagger, which appeared to be made of mithril, and smiled.

“Good, now let’s get out of here. I’m not even supposed to be demonstrating anything here, I just got up on stage and nobody stopped me for whatever reason.” I deactivated my microphone-like charm, and told Robin, “Come on, let’s go.”

He ran into a door, and quickly joined me. I surveyed the crowd, which was full of whispers, no doubt about me and what I had just said. I jumped down, followed by Thuzhal and Robin, and we pushed past the crowd, out of the door, and ran a block before slowing to a walk. We returned to our motel, and I was happy we had managed to complete our goal for that day.

“I’m afraid we may have a problem,” Thuzhal said, walking into the bedroom.

“What kind of problem?” I asked, a little surprised by his sudden entrance and a little frustrated that he couldn’t immediately solve all of our problems.

He winced at the strength of my words, and responded, “Well, I know what kind of magic it uses, and I can partially control it. However, I cannot control the exact dimension. I can make it so that we don’t end up places we can’t survive, like in the vastness of space, or on a planet where the air is poisonous. We will have to travel many worlds until we either get lucky and end up in the right one, or find someone who can use your energy signatures to lock onto our universe. Will that work?”

I thought about it, looked over at Robin, who was sitting cross-legged on his bed, and looked back at Thuzhal. “Well, I guess we don’t really have a choice, so let’s go with that. Do we have any idea how long this will take?”

Thuzhal grinned, and said loudly, “Nope!”

I sighed, and replied, “Well, pack your bags. Might as well get right on down to it.”

We packed the gear we wanted to bring with us, which included some probably illegal items. It has been neglected to mention that these items included two assault rifles, lots of ammo, a couple grenades, a few other guns, including a sniper rifle and a pistol (of course we also had plenty of those ammos as well, and I intended to get a blacksmith or something to break them open and figure out how to make them and potentially augment them/the gun.). There were others, but I shouldn’t really mention them.

We gathered behind the motel, in the parking lot, after checking out and getting our stuff all ready. I readied myself for what was about to happen, planted the staff at arm’s length in front of me, and Robin and Thuzhal both grabbed it. After exchanging grim looks with both of them, I grabbed the spider, and it did the same thing as the previous time we used it, though the eyes seemed to glow brighter and the wind seemed stronger. I closed my eyes, and wondered what would happen on the other side, just before I lost consciousness.

When I returned to consciousness, I was confused. The sky was a pastel purple, with red dots swirling through it. It seemed like some kind of strange dream, and its colors were chaos. The ground was some kind of acid green, and there were portable toilets everywhere. They were in every shade, from green to blue to pink to yellow. I closed my eyes, as I felt a migraine coming on. I shaded my eyes and reopened them, looking at the ground for Robin and Thuzhal. I found Thuzhal covering his eyes, peeking through his fingers at the landscape, and Robin was still passed out on the ground. Oh, and, by the way, Thuzhal is a human.

“This is a strange world you have brought us to, elf,” he told me, and I followed his gaze. I had originally thought that the toilets were just sitting there, but as I really looked at them, I saw that they were moving. There was even a small village, made of what I couldn’t say, as there wasn’t a tree or rock around. Even the ground itself was a deep green, and made of a substance I couldn’t make out. It was smooth, and I could push my hand through it, like a partial liquid. It was strange, as none of us were sinking into it, but it didn’t seem like good building material. The toilets weren’t walking, or splitting apart in any way, but just seemed to glide, all of which seemed very strange and impossible to me. When they came to a step, they seemed like they just jumped, but with no downward movement to create thrust upward, if that makes sense.

“Let’s… explore?” I said hesitantly, and Thuzhal strode toward the settlement. I followed him, after a moment’s consideration, and dragged Robin behind me. When we got closer, we could see that it was made of some kind of wood, and so I guessed that they had just taken down any trees in view. It seemed similar to a Wild West town, minus the dust everywhere, horses, natural colors, or people. I was quite unnerved, and moved close to one of the johns.

“Uh… hello?” I said (asked?) hesitantly. It’s door turned to me, and it seemed to make an annoyed, squishy sound from within it.

“Do you guys have any wizards or magic folk at all?” I asked it. It moved toward me, making angry sounds from within it, and I backed away. “I don’t think it likes the sound of ‘wizard’.” It moved faster, squishing louder, and other toilets started coming over. I pulled Robin into a fireman’s carry on my back, and readied one of my blades.

“We should get out of here, Thuzhal,” I told him, and he nodded, his eyes frantic. I turned and ran, but there were toilets everywhere.

“No time! We have to do it here!” I shouted, and he grabbed the staff. I shrugged Robin forward and held his hand around the pole, and grabbed the arachnid on top.

When I awoke, I simply lay there. I didn’t really want to open my eyes and find out where we had landed, but I suppose it would have to happen eventually. I slowly opened my eyes, and squinted at the bright light coming from the sun… suns? There were two shining orbs in the sky, one more yellow-y, and one more orange-y. It was very hot, and the ground was grainy. When I looked at the landscape, I saw that we were in a large desert of sand, and there were a couple houses in the distance. It looked like about midday, but I couldn’t be sure how long the day lasted, so it would be best to start moving. I got to my feet, and noticed that both Thuzhal and Robin were still passed out.

“Hey,” I said, shaking Robin. He stirred, and started moving. I moved over to Thuzhal, and patted his shoulder.

“Wakey, wakey, time to get up sleepyhead,” I told Thuzhal, and his eyes snapped open, then quickly shut.

“Where are we, and why is it so bright?” Thuzhal said, and Robin nodded in agreement.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure, but there are some houses over there, we can ask them. I hope it goes better this time than last time.”

Robin looked confused. He held up a finger, and said, “Last time? Do you mean Earth?”

I was also confused for a second, before I remembered that Robin had been asleep the previous dimension.

“Well, we travelled dimensions, and you know how we always fall unconscious when we do that? Well, you were asleep while Thuzhal and I almost died from sentient Porta-Potties.”

This only served to bewilder him even more, and I described the events that had taken place in the strange, colorful dimension.

“Anyway,” I said, finishing up, “we should get moving. We aren’t going to kill ourselves, after all!”

With that lovely remark, we started walking toward the houses. It was extremely hot, hotter than Calimport, even hotter than California in summer. I didn’t know how people handled it, but then I thought, perhaps the people here are different and more adapted to this environment.

After probably 15 minutes, we got to the houses. They were strange, quite small and kinda dome-like, circular, with person-height walls and a sloped, domed kinda roof. It was similarly colored as the sand, probably so that it could blend in, though the satellite dish looking thing on top of it kinda ruined the effect. It was silvery, and very much did not blend in.

“Sh-should we go in?” I asked tentatively, and Thuzhal marched forward, grinning. “Um, is that a yes?”

“I recognize this place!” he said in response, and knocked on the first door. I rushed toward him, but it was too late.

“HOW, exactly can you recognize this? You’ve never been here! You were directly transported to-” A thought rushed into my mind, causing me to stop in my tracks. “It’s like Faerûn, huh? Someone came from this world, or travelled here, and made a story or whatever based on this place?”

He slowly nodded, and simply replied, “Star Wars.”

The door opened, sliding to one side, and a man came out. I hadn’t seen a lot about Star Wars, but there were a lot of cosplayers at Comic-Con that I had recognized as probably being from this universe. The person that opened the door looked like Obi-Wan, except his hair was black. I blinked, for, while it was true I didn’t know much about Star Wars (already mentioned, but it makes this sentence flow better. Shut up, stupid), I knew that: 1. He wasn’t supposed to be on Tatooine until much later, when he looked old with white hair, or something, and 2. His hair was brown, not black. All of this was very confusing, especially once Qui Gon Jinn walked past, asking, “Who is it, honey?”

“U… u-um, I’m Alushtas, and these are Robin and Thuzhal,” I stammered, my eyes searching for answers I doubted I would easily find.

“Ah, hello! What lovely and strange names! What can I do for you?” he asked nicely, and I looked at my companions.

“Uh, can we come in? I think we need to talk to you,” I said kinda randomly, for I was still very confused and needed to figure out what was happening.

He smiled, and ushered us in. “Honey, come meet our guests!” he said, and Qui Gon walked back in.

I looked back and forth between the two men, and I asked Obi-Wan, “Why does he keep calling you ‘honey’?”

They looked at each other and smiled, and Obi-Wan told me, “Well, we were dating for a while, but then this wonderful man approached me, what, probably almost a year and a half ago, and proposed to me! Of course, I said yes, and we’ve been living here ever since, happier than ever!” Qui Gon came over and hugged Obi-Wan deeply, and the two men sat down on a couch, holding hands.

Thuzhal looked confused as well, though I had realized that this was not the normal Star Wars universe I knew, and the wizard asked, “Where is Luke? I thought he lived here.”

“Well, yes, he has, but once he married his spouse, they’ve been travelling the galaxy. Would you like some blue milk?”

“Uh, sure,” I said, and Obi-Wan waved his hand. A glass came over to me, as if by magic, and I sipped it warily. It was good, similar to Earth milk, but more coconut-y.

“Soooo, who has Luke married, anyway?” I asked Qui Gon, taking a longer drink from my glass.

“Oh, he ran off with that hooligan, Han Solo, for a bit, but he came back eventually, and told me they were getting married. I was shocked, for it seemed sudden, but they were happy, and so we gave them our blessing,” he replied, and I, suddenly realizing something, asked another question (we really wanted to ask questions, I guess), “So what happened to Chewbacca?”

“Ah, good old Chew. They are going around the galaxy, exploring, happy by themselves. They liked Han, but they always felt less, you know? They are very introverted, and just like to explore. They find people difficult to understand, and they’ve told me that everyone just goes too quickly for them. Last I heard, they were going to Coruscant, which is nice.”

“Mhm. Anyway, you guys haven’t mastered inter-dimensional travel yet, have you?” I asked, realizing that, while cool, this place wasn’t really gonna help us.

“Unfortunately, that project was shut down because of its possible repercussions and side effects and all that,” he told me, “did you need something like that?”

I shrugged, and said, “Yeah, it would’ve been nice, but I think we might be able to manage. We should be going, though. Thank you, both of you, for everything.”

Qui Gon smiled at us, and asked, “Are you sure you want to leave? We’d be happy for you to stay.”

I sadly smiled back at him, and replied, “Yeah, we need to go.”

We said our goodbyes, and left. When we were out of sight of the house, it was probably about midnight.

“Well guys? Shall we?” I said, holding out the spider-adorned staff.

We travelled through many more dimensions, probably more than I could ever describe. As we travelled, and got used to dimension-hopping, we slept for less and less time, and eventually simply got tired, and then slightly dizzy.

Something that I have talked about, but not really explained, was that Earth was a Chaos realm. This means that both magic and technology work there, though there are other realms in which magic works and tech doesn’t, ones where tech works and magic doesn’t, and ones where neither work. However, this is a flawed perspective. It is one described by wizards of old in my world (yes, interdimensional travel isn’t completely unknown back home in Faerun), and their experiences in other realms.

This is flawed for a couple reasons. It isn’t so simple as just ‘technology and magic, or one, or neither’. Magic can take many forms, and magic that works in one place doesn’t necessarily work in another. In the Star Wars-like world, there were Jedi that could manipulate objects using their mind and what they called the Force, which seems to be a type of magic. Meanwhile, my own magic could have been unstable or unusable, because it is a different world than mine. Similarly, magic could exist on Earth, though its inhabitants didn’t usually have it, leading to unpredictable results. I was lucky that only a couple of my charms failed or had issues, and not more of them. There were many other forms of magic, but to go into detail would take too long.

Technology is also a difficult thing to pin down. It’s basically just the application of knowledge for practical purposes, and so almost anything creature-made could be said to be technology. Again, some technology could function in some places, but not in others. Some steampunk worlds, for instance, couldn’t ‘fathom’ the existence of further innovation, like cars or computers. Other worlds were stuck in the Stone Age, and in some, not even bird’s nests could be made. I am not sure what would happen if one tried to make a bird’s nest in that world, but I had decided not to find out.

As we went along in our journey, I collected items. I wanted mementos of our travels, and hey, they might be useful in the future. Unfortunately, I wasn’t always able to pick things up, whether because of being chased by the inhabitants of the world or something else (and if you’re wondering if I took something from the Star Wars world, yes, I palmed a handle-looking thing with a button from a counter). This led to some fights, some running, and some pain. Still, I wanted certain items, like I think one was called a “Babel fish”, which allowed me to understand others, no matter what language they spoke.

Something that I realized was that no matter where we went, some items were still able to be used. I eventually figured out that it was because they were dimensional items, which transcended some of the ordinary rules of the realms. We started with two - the staff itself, which is a good thing, because otherwise we would’ve ended up stranded on a random world. The other was my Vorpal blades, which was nice, because I liked them. However, the realm we received the third (and fourth and fifth?) dimensional item(s) was very… strange…

We had come from a world of robots. There wasn’t a single human, elf, dog, orc, sentient species of any kind, or really any organic being that we found. Everything was automated, and seemed as though there had once been people, but then they had left, potentially leaving the robots there to keep things up until they returned. However, we realized that it was unlikely, if not impossible, that a machine could bring us home, rather than magic. Therefore, we left pretty quickly, though not before I got a small bracelet that had nanotech that could form a dagger in my hand in a millisecond, which could be quite useful.

When we arrived in the new realm, we found ourselves in a smallish room. There was a bed of flowers, yellow flowers, illuminated by a fairly dim light coming through a hole in the ceiling of the room. Actually, it seemed more like a cave, though we couldn’t really be completely sure. There was a hallway, or corridor, or whatever to our right. We went through it, and found a doorway.

We went through it, and walked through a system of rooms, some of which had puzzles, and traps, though none of them actually hurt us (well, except for Robin, who got a sprained ankle after falling through some leaves). We saw beings, some might call them monsters or abominations, which had very strange physical makeups. This wasn’t really uncommon for us to see, because of everywhere we had already been, but weird stuff is weird. One had a large eye as most of its body, and another looked similar to a frog. They ran from us, so we didn’t have to worry about fighting them, and when we got to the end of the rooms, we came to a small house.

We tentatively opened the door, and found the house deserted (or at least visibly so, and nobody came to the door to see who was there). There were stairs leading down to what I assumed was a basement right in front of us, a living room looking area to our left, and a hallway to our right. It seemed like an odd way to set up a house, but again, lots of places were quite queer (in both senses of the term).

Anyway, we entered the living room. There was a table with chairs, bookshelves with books on them - “How to Cook Snails, Snail Basics, Meals with Snails?” -, and an armchair in front of a fireplace, fire included, which seemed like a fire hazard, but whatever. We didn’t find anyone, so we went through the door leading out of the room (not the one we entered).

We were in a kitchen, which seemed normal, except the stove didn’t work, there was white fur in the sink, and a pie on the counter. There was a faint smell of pie crust and cinnamon in the air, and I took a slice for later, in case I might want it (hey, I’m a thief, what would you expect, perfect morals?). We went back to the first room, and entered the hall.

There were three doors, two of which were bedrooms. We decided not to explore them, though one looked more like a child’s bedroom and one like an adult’s. The third was locked, however, and had a sign that read, ‘Room under Renovations’. Because there was no more of the house to explore, we went down the stairs to the basement.

There wasn’t really an actual basement, as far as we could tell. It was a long hallway, which, after walking the entirety of, showed us a doorway, similar to the one at the entrance, which we went through, as we didn’t want to walk back. We found ourselves in some kind of snowy, forest-y area, though, when we looked up to the sky, we could faintly see a cavern roof.

I’ll spare you the details, but basically, we went through this region, a very wet, cave-like region, and a very hot area. In the hot area, we came across a laboratory, which we chose to go into. It had a large video screen, seemingly inactive, though I couldn’t tell its use. As we continued walking through the building, we saw a cluttered desk, a bag of dog food(?), and a dark hole in the wall. When we got to the hole, the door to a bathroom hitherto unseen opened, and a tall lizard woman (?) came out. She looked quite surprised to see us, but hurried over nonetheless.

“More humans? This is quite unusual… umm… hello? Who are you?” she asked hesitantly.

“I am Alushtas, and I am not a human… which I only tell you because I don’t know why. I am an elf, This is Robin, he’s a human, and Thuzhal, whose race I never actually found out, I think,” I responded.

“And I would prefer to keep it that way,” Thuzhal said, smiling and extending his hand toward the person. “And you are…?”

“Oh!” She blushed furiously. “M-my name is A-alphys, and I’m the-the royal scientist for King Asgore.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Do you guys have any, you know…, magic?” I asked Alphys. We seemed to do a lot of questioning in these worlds, and not much else.

“K-kinda, we have magical a-attacks and the like, and fire magic, and probably other kinds.”

“Oh.” I must’ve looked really sad, because she immediately responded with, “B-but that’s okay! Here, I can improve your phones! You… don’t… have phones? Um, I can get you phones!”

She rushed upstairs up an escalator, then quickly came down another closer to the entrance. She was holding three small objects, which I assumed was a phone, and hoped her word for phone meant the same thing it meant for me, because it could be useful. It seemed that way, so yay.

“Here! I have a phone for each of you! Y-yes, I had them l-laying around… anyway, they can text, access the internet wherever, access special Dimensional Boxes, defuse bombs, and activate a jetpack! Here, t-take them!”

We each took a phone, and I immediately checked out the Dimensional Boxes. They each had space for 8 items, seemingly no matter the size, which didn’t make sense, but whatever. There were 3 boxes, which was nice, so I didn’t have to worry about 24 items taking up space in my Bag of Holding.

“Sweet, thank you!” I said, and she blushed again. “Oh, don’t worry, I just like helping people! S-speaking of which, there was this human that came through a bit ago. Have y-you seen them? I think Toriel is coming after them, and I’m a b-bit worried.”

Thuzhal and I exchanged looks as Robin looked between us. “No, we haven’t seen anybody except a couple dudes back at that purple place,” I told her, and her eyes widened.

“O-oh! You n-need to go… I’m s-sorry I can’t help more! Now, g-get out of here!”

She pushed us out of a back door, while I protested and tried to ask her about dimensional travelling. She didn’t listen to me, and locked the door after us.

“Well, now what? Do we go after the human? Do we go see the king? Do we leave? What do you dudes think?” I asked, looking at Robin and Thuzhal, whose backs were to the lab.

“I think I can help!” a cheery voice said from behind. I whirled around, dagger forming in my hand. A little yellow flower had popped up from the ground, and it had a face which was smiling at us.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Thuzhal asked, suspicious of the small being.

“I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower! You were just talking to that overgrown lizard, huh? Don’t listen to her, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!” the golden flower told us.

“Um, she seemed nice, while you were insulting her. Not really the way to play the ‘nice guy’ card,” Robin interjected.

Flowey gave a wide smile, and said, “Oh, sorry. We all insult her, ‘cause she’s senile and ignorant of the world. Even nice old King Asgore cracks jokes about her!”

By this point, I was very unsettled, but decided to humor Flowey. “So, you said you can help us. How?”

“Easy! The rules down here are simple. You k i l l, o r y o u b e k i l l e d.” As he spoke, his face grew ugly, into a mixture of a smile and a look of utter hatred. He sent little white bullets at us, which we tried to dodge, but some still hit us. They really hurt, and it felt like my life force itself was being sapped. I swung my dagger at him, but he popped back into the ground and back up a bit further on.

“Hope you guys have fun! See ya later!” he said, smiling, and vanished into the ground.

“That… was horrible,” I said, and both of my companions nodded.

“We should leave and never return.” Again, they nodded.

I pulled out the staff from my Bag, held it out, and we did our thing. However, as we began to flicker out of the strange, underground world, none of us noticed the edge of a flower root curling around the base of the staff.

From there, we continued on our way, oblivious to our nefarious passenger. After that moment, I’m not sure where exactly he went, so let’s ignore him for now, eh?

We travelled more, were attacked, Thuzhal broke a leg, Robin scared a cat badly, almost starting an apocalypse… anyway! We picked up another passenger on another realm, though this one was like Thuzhal - a nice one, which would be invaluable later on!

The previous dimension wasn’t very exciting, and as such won’t be talked about. Only the finest highlights here! I remember something about big dogs, though, so that was nice. Anyway, back to the important one.

We arrived in some kind of stronghold. The room we were in was deserted, luckily, and there wasn’t a lot around. There were some unlocked cases that had ammo in it, which was nice, because my guns were running out of ammo. There were also a couple of… vending machines? Except, one of them dispensed different shields and healing items, and the other sold… ammo and grenades? What kind of world was this? There was some kind of human height machine, though we couldn’t ascertain its purpose. It was next to a small set of rickety stairs, which led up to the vending machines. A carpet led to the right, where a small building stood, and two entrances stood to each side of it. The building was more of a hut made of metal, and didn’t seem to serve any actual purpose.

Now that the description is out of the way - wait! To be clear, we were in a building, and the roof was not far from our heads, and pretty much everything was metal. It’s difficult to describe, as that’s not really my strong suit, but I do my best. I’m alluding to what this place ended up being, because it does exist on Earth to some extent, and so maybe you’ll figure it out. Think of it like a puzzle, or a mystery. If you fail, either you didn’t know the game (whoops, I said it was a game! There’s another hint!), or I’m terrible at explanations, or you didn’t know the specific place. Maybe you’ll realize later what I’m talking about. Maybe not. By this point, I’m not sure I really care. Anyway!

We walked through the door, and immediately were fired upon. There were bandits everywhere, and they were shooting at us. We ducked behind some metal thingys sticking up from the ground, which shouldn’t have stopped bullets, but the improbable had decided to visit us today.

“What kinda world is this, where we don’t even get to introduce ourselves before people hate us?” Robin shouted at me.

“I know, right? At least hate us for who we are, not just because we exist. However, the fact that we simply appeared in their encampment might have to do with it.” I replied, pulling out my assault rifle from my bag.

“Don’t do anything stupid!” Thuzhal warned me, and I smirked at him.

“When have I ever done anything stupid?” I said, and peeked out from my hiding place. They just kept firing, not caring about hiding behind barriers (That was the word! I guess it isn’t perfect, but words never are). I was peeking through a small hole in the thing, and pushed the barrel of my gun through another hole in it. I aimed carefully, adjusted for the simple fact that my eye was further from the barrel than normal, and started firing. Some of them ducked behind cover, though some just stood around, and there was a big one with a body shield that didn’t need something so trivial as cover.

My bullets didn’t seem to be harming them, however. I pulled the still-warm muzzle of the rifle out of the barrier, and told my companions: “My bullets don’t seem to be harming them!”

“Well then, try something else! Something magicky!” Robin yelled at me over the loud clamor of the guns.

“We don’t know the rules of this place! It could go horribly, or not work, or work perfectly!” When I saw the look he was giving me, I conceded, “Of course, if they shoot us full of holes, it won’t matter whether or not we use magic. And, if it fails, maybe it’ll take them out, and not us!”

I pulled my bag of charms I had collected over in front of me, and sorted through them. I had one that summoned a lion, but there were a lot of guns, and I wasn’t sure any animal could survive long enough, plus I like animals. I found one that would explode, but I didn’t want to blow us up as well if I could avoid it. Finally, I found one that released gas that would immediately knock out anyone that inhaled, and worked through gas masks and stuff as well because magic. I readied it in my hand, glanced through the hole so I could aim, drew back my hand, and -

A humanoid figure quickly appeared at the entrance I had come through. They were slashing a sword through the air and pretty much staying in the same place, which seemed like a bad idea considering there were a lot of dudes with long range weapons. The bandits started shooting at this new and very much visible opponent, and bullets ripped through them. They didn’t flinch, and kept swinging their sword randomly, until they flickered, and disappeared. At the same time, a sword materialized in the back of the big, heavy dude with the shield, coming straight through his heart and out of the shield.

As the shield dude toppled to the floor, a person flickered into view. They looked the same as the one that used to be in the doorway, and I later realized it was a hologram, used as a deception for the actual fighter. The bandits looked toward them, confused, and the figure regarded them, then spoke:

“How are you doing? I need to kill you right now. It’s not personal.”

They suddenly flashed into action, a gun appearing in their hand. They jumped toward me with inhuman strength, turned toward the bandits, and started shooting at them. Their bullets were much more effective than mine, and quickly dispatched the bandits. One of the bandits managed to hit them, but the bullet hit a blue field that… just showed up? Like, there was nothing, then just as the bullet hit what was previously invisible, it flashed light blue.

“Um, hello? Thank you for saving us. Who are you?” I asked once all of the bandits were dead.

“My name is Zer0. I am searching for the Vault. And now, who are you?” said our mysterious savior.

“Well, I am Alushtas, this is Robin, and here is Thuzhal. We are trying to find our way back home, but so far ‘here’ doesn’t seem to help.”

“You need to find your. Way home? Might I be able. To help you in this?”

“Your words sound jilted and strange. Does that have a reason? I’m not trying to be insensitive, but I want to know,” I said, to which Zer0 started moving, agitated.

I should probably explain. Zer0 didn’t really appear human, but perhaps like a human in a suit. The suit was blue and black, with a belt, and down the legs there was a bag for holding, probably, ammo, and something was strapped to the calf, with a brace, or pad, or something on it. They had a smooth faceplate, and the head overall looked like mostly glass and metal. On their elbows, they had some kind of a spike, and they had 4 fingers (Eh, by this point it’s pretty obvious I’m bad with description. Go look up Zer0 using that computer or phone you’re using. From Borderlands 2). On their face played emotes, in this case a question mark.

“I can only speak. In haiku, I am not sure why. Part of my being?”

“Anyway, you said you might be able to help us? What do you mean?”

“There are things out there. That you will need help killing. I’m bored, something new.”

“Um, okay… we won’t be staying here unless you guys have inter-dimensional travel… are you sure?”

“Yes, I am quite sure. I thought it over quickly. I don’t want to stay.

“The search for the vaults. Is fruitless, and as such I. Shall move on elsewhere,” he finished, in his strange, haiku way.

“Are you sure? I think I’ve played this game, and you end up finding the vault.”

“Fine, I just want to. Avoid this fate, which I have en-. -dured too much before.

“This game has three modes. Regular, true, ultimate. I’ve done them too much.

“I am bored of it. The same thing over again. Won’t continue this.

“I will go with you. Help where I can with my skills. Have new adventure.”

I smiled at them, and replied, “That sounds good. We might even be able to help fix that haiku voice, and let you speak as you want. Anyway, I guess... you’ll be joining us? That sounds... good… Oh! Though it isn’t permanent, I have a charm that might help you communicate for a bit… “ I rifled through my bag, and withdrew a specific charm. “Here you go!” I said, as I handed it to them.

It seemed to kinda soak into their hand, and their faceplate displayed an exclamation mark.

“Ah! What… happened? That was weird. I can speak… normally now? Now that I can talk normally, I can explain myself. I have destroyed BNK3R, killed the Warrior, and taken Handsome Jack off the face of Pandora way too much. I am as powerful as I will get, and killing bandits only gets old. I want something new, not involving Vaults or psychopaths. This seems worthy.”

“Okay… then… I suppose we might as well go? Not much else to do here, from what you said.”

“Yes, let’s.”

We did our thing with the staff, and left what Zer0 later told me was called Bloodshot Stronghold. What a place.

From there, we continued our journey, and, while each of these dimensions is important, it must be annoying to read, like “oh come on! Either say all of them or write barely anything!” Eh, whatever, I’m writing it how I want.

#Dee's story #Alushtas #Here #have my story #all of what i have #Dimensions and Dragons

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03/27/2017 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 7:1-8:20 ~ Luke 7:36-8:3 ~ Psalm 69:1-18 ~ Proverbs 12:1

Today is March 27th. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian. It is wonderful to be here with you. Man, we are rounding the corner on another month, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Here we are, the 27th day of the third month of the year and almost since the beginning we’ve been chasing this story of a land of promise and been trying to get there and we are on the banks of the Jordan. It's not time to go into the promised land now. We’re listening to the final words of Moses as he speaks from his heart and with a weightiness that is necessary to these people, because he is going to disappear from the story when he is done talking. So, back out to the banks of the Jordan River. Deuteronomy chapter 7, verse 1 through 8, verse 20 today. We’re reading from the Common English Bible this week.

Commentary

We are on the eastern side of the Jordan River in what would be modern day Jordan, the ancient land of Moab, across from Jericho. Moses has the children of Israel assembled. Like we’ve been saying, he is saying the last things he has to say. This is the parting shot. He has been encouraging them in all kinds of areas, basically reviewing the law, basically saying, “Look, if you’ll do this stuff right here, it is going to be perfect. It is going to be exactly like what God wants. If you don’t, it's going to be everything but that.”

He encourages them today. “When you go into the land, you have to be careful about these other gods that they are worshipping and not fall for it. You’re not going to go in and take care of all this business in one day. You’re not going to invade this land and it is going to be yours in one day. It is going to take time. It is going to be a little by little thing, a bit by bit thing. Because if you went in and just wiped everything out, you’re not equipped to take possession right now of all this promise anyway. We’d be giving the land to the wild animals who would become a nuisance for you, and so it is going to be a little by little thing.”

That is important. It is important to this story, but it is also important to our lives because a lot of times we’ll get a promise, we’ll get an understanding, we’ll get some clarity about where the Lord is leading us and we’ll start filling in the blanks about what that is going to look like, and then we rush across the proverbial Jordan River into the promised land and boom! It is a little more complicated than we thought. Then we’re discouraged and we’re like, “Where are you going before me? I thought I was just going to be able to waltz into this thing.”

No, we have to contend for things in this world. And that is what gives them value. Think about it. The things that you have had to contend for, that you have had to stand for, that you have had to fight for, the things that you’ve had to press into, the things that you have had to work through, those are the things that you treasure, right? Those are the things that have built your character.

So the children of Israel are being admonished that this is how it is going to be when they go into the promised land. It is going to be systematic, but it is going to be a bit at a time. We need to remember that. We need to remember that this is a process. Life is a process. It is something that is building one thing upon the next upon the next. So wherever it is that we are in our lives, if we are following the Lord, then we are on the right path. The momentary circumstances that would oppose that, that is normal. That happens. We will be victorious. That part is done. So we must stay true and content, little by little until the promise is fulfilled.

Prayer

Father, impatience is something that is all through this species of humanity, especially in this day and age, because our cultures, they try to sell us instant gratification continually, that if we just have enough money we can buy whatever we want. And that may be true, but it does not build character and it is not something that we’ve contended for. It is not something that we’ve stood for. It's not something that has been carefully crafted. So as we move through our lives, may we treat them like the treasure that you do and may we pour into them good things as we stand true and firm and walk with you little by little, step by step, bit by bit, day by day. Come Holy Spirit, we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, (877) 942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian. I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Requests and Praise Reports

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family. It's Brian from Costa Mesa. It's March 23rd and I just finished listening to the prayer requests. This goes out to Scott from Southern California. You just had thousands of people around the world hear your plea for prayer. What you described is heartbreaking and I'm sure we can only understand a small portion of what you’re going through, but first let me just say that you cannot sin more than God is willing to forgive and you have a good hold on who God is and who you are. Trust in that faith. Let this body of Christ surround you and lift you up in prayer. Stay strong. Stay in the faith and be open and honest. I don’t know where it will lead, but I know that the Lord is going to restore you. We pray for you. We pray for your wife. We pray for your kids. We pray for everything surrounding your life. Just know that you have a family here that is standing strong with you. Keep checking in, let us know how it is going.

Good morning family. This is Mary from Melbourne, FL. I would like to pray. Precious Father, I pray for the upcoming More Gathering and all of our precious women who will be attending. I pray that you would draw close to each one in a very special way and reveal yourself to them. Bring them lots of laughter and lots of tears of joy as they are renewed by your Spirit. Meet them all right where they are, Father, and fill them with your Holy Spirit. We pray for Jill and Brian, Father, that you would minister to the people through them. Give them the words to speak and, Father, I pray that you would get them all safely there and safely home and bless them to overflowing. We know you have so many great things for them, Father, so we just ask you to be with them. Give them a joy that they will never forget and we praise you and glorify you in Christ's precious name. Brian and Jill, we love you so much and we thank you for what you’re doing. We know that this is going to be a blessing to our women and we lift them all up knowing that God is really going to bless them. He is going to surprise them with the things that he has for them, so thank you so much for all the work that you’ve done to go behind the scenes and in front of everyone to prepare these women for a wonderful, wonderful blessing from God. We cannot thank you enough. Hallelujah. God bless you all and I just want you to know that we’re praying for all of you women, that you will come back excited and renewed by the Spirit of the Lord. God bless every single one of you. We love you and we know that this will be a wonderful, wonderful weekend for all of you women. God bless you. Goodbye.

Morning DAB. This is Loralee from Boynton Beach, FL. For the new people, glad you’re here. I'm a 10-year listener and I wanted to read something for Candace in Oregon and for Bill B. It's from The Valley of Vision with a few words changed. Sovereign Lord, I am a tree of the vineyard you have planted. Grant me not to be barren with worthless leaves and wild grapes. I'm a voyager across life's ocean, safe in heaven's ark. May I pass through a troubled world into a harbor of eternal rest. Prune me of useless branches. Water me with dews of blessing. I am part of the Lamb's bride, the church. Help me to be true, faithful, loving, pure, devoted. Let no strong affection with the world draw me away. By grace may I live high above a love of things temporal, sanctified, cleansed, unblemished and holy. Your love my fullness, your glory my joy, your precepts my path, your cross my resting place. My heart is not always a flame of adoring love but, resting in your Son's redemption, I look forward to the days of heaven where no apathy shall oppress, no iniquities bite, no cloud of unbelief dim the eye, and no zeal ever tires. Father, these thoughts are the comfort of my soul. In Jesus’ name, amen. You have a blessed day. We’re thinking of you and praying for you.

Hi lovely family. This is Pastor Gene from Bradenton, FL. Here are a few words that gripped my heart as I was listening to the word of God in Numbers. God saying this about his people: How much longer will they reject me? Why won't they trust me after all they have seen? How much longer will they complain about me? Father, these words pierce my heart as I recognize myself in them. How many times have I said why did you bring me into this world? How many times have I said why did you place me in this situation? Please forgive me and forgive us when we declare that we don’t appreciate the gifts that you’ve given us, when we doubt you after you have brought us through so many situations. Forgive us, O Lord, and help us to love you. Help us to trust you. As __________ from you in the word says, we believe. God, help our unbelief. Father, we come before you asking that you will fill our brother Dean with hope. That you will let him know how much you love him. That you will let him know you are not going to quit on him. Please bless our brother Dean __________ and let him know how much you love him and how much he __________ this community. Father, I pray for our brother Pastor Tom from the UK who is currently in hospice battling terminal cancer. We believe that just as you have brought him through for the last two and a half years, you’re able to touch his body with the power of your Son's resurrection and heal him completely. And Father, we are believing and expecting a miracle. And finally, Lord, I pray for all the victims of the terrorist attack in London, whether they are from the UK or whether they are from a different country and were visiting. O God, have mercy. Touch them. Lift them up and deter the evil that has overcome us. In Jesus’ name I pray. This is Pastor Gene from Bradenton, FL. Bye.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family. This is Dee from Virginia. I'm a new listener since November 2016 and a first-time caller. I just want to say I appreciate Daily Audio Bible greatly and thank you. I also want to let you know that I'm agreeing in prayer with the prayers that are being lifted up daily on behalf of those calling in and I'm just praising and thanking God for answering in the way that he knows is best. Please join me in praying for Stanley who called in around the 18th or 19th. Isaiah 40:31 says they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint. And Galatians 6:9 says so don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Father, thank you for your word and how it will reassure Stanley in his role as an educator. Thank you for giving him the wisdom, the understanding and knowledge he needs for the opportunity you have given him. Help him to seek your face for guidance and direction. May he be encouraged and know, Lord God, that you love him and you care about the things that are concerning him. Please, Father, give him courage, confidence, strength, and peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is Jay calling from New Jersey. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, God, we praise you and we bless the mighty name of Jesus Christ this morning. Father, we thank you for life. We thank you for health. And we thank you for the strength that you give us every day. Father, we confess now of any sins that we’ve committed in our hearts, with our flesh, with our minds. We repent, Father. We turn away from it. Father, we come to you because we’re dealing with so much that we need to lean on you, God. Father, we’re dealing with anxiety. God, we’re dealing with depression. Jesus, we’re dealing with isolation from friends and family. Father, we’re dealing with financial issues that just seem to be too much. God, we’re dealing with pornography. Father, we’re struggling with our flesh. God, we’re dealing with alcoholism and drug abuse. Father, we’re dealing with emotional and physical abuse. God, some of us have been raped. Some of us have been mugged and robbed and stolen from and lied on and cheated on. So God, we’re coming to you. Jesus, we need you. Holy Spirit, come now. Comfort us in our time of need. We thank you, Father, for your word that says that you give us the peace which passes all understanding. We pray for that peace now, God, as we go to your word each and every day. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, amen.

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