#that hasn't stopped me yet though
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Question for you! What makes Nero an appealing character for you specifically as a creator? I love to hear people's thoughts on their fictional bebes :]
I love writing his kind of characters. I love love love portraying flawed mindsets, bad behavior born from insecurity, characters who have tunnel vision and anger management issues, straight up selfishness, greed, desperation, struggles to fit in with kind and considerate people. Not saying Nero has all of these, but I love musing about these characters the most. Which honestly sucks because there's this ridiculous and loud mindset going around calling these characters out, and their writers with them. It's ILLEGAL to enjoy morally grey characters, god forbid they're villains, and man it's so tiring to see. Sometimes it feels like baby sensory videos are the only safe media to consume.
BUT on the topic of Nero, I just get him. I get his train of thought, and while I don't agree with how unfair and offensive he is, I get where he comes from and where the anger stems from. He's the easiest character for me to write. There's a lot to him that is still unexplored in the comic, I can't talk about that. But those parts of him are very important. I also really like his design, he's a joy to draw.
#ask#nero#writing a story from a villain's point of view is something I'm very interested in making but I instantly get exhausted even thinking about#some of the comments it would garner.#that hasn't stopped me yet though#i just don't really look forward to posting what I'm cooking on my freetime
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The woman who is basically a second mom to my girlfriend doesn't think I'm real and it's absolutely fucking hysterical oh my god
#i have not stopped laughing about this shit all day#it's giving she goes to a different school you don't know her#although to be fair me and my girlfriend don't really take photos together and she hasn't met me so i get it#but holy fuck we've been dating for almost a year#like imagine pretending to date someone for that long#im gonna be meeting her next week though so at least she'll know my girlfriend didn't make me up#but tbh part of me would love to keep the bit going for as long as i can#but seriously i am excited to meet more people in my girlfriend's life#although i also understand why I haven't met her yet because 1 i get super nervous around new people and my girlfriend is very aware of that#and 2 she's the mom of my girlfriend's ex so uh yeah that's like 5 extra layers of awkwardness to deal with#shit is probably gonna be weird as fuck but from what ive heard she's very sweet#plus she did invited me on a ski trip that she was gonna completely pay for back in January so im sure everything will be fine#and we'll be at a concert so I can always just pretend like i can't hear anything because the music is too loud if things get too awkward#personal
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Three days sober and the cravings are getting stronger. Out of fear of impulsively buying alcohol and downing it in a park or something, I only leave the ward together with my roommate - which shows I'm acting responsible I guess.
On the inside I've been thinking about numbing myself like half of every waking hour, though (today). Like discharging myself. Just telling them I'm fine. Nope, I don't have any thoughts about S/I anymore. You can let me go. Or contemplating what would happen if I'd really just go to the store and get fully wrecked. That would cause so much drama. 75% is very keen on not doing it. The other 25% don't care.
Right now I feel like I'll certainly relapse once I'm home. Even want to turn down their offer to take me as a patient for their day clinic (and coming up with excuses for that inside my head). And since I think I'll relapse anyway, waiting another 7-10 days until I'm discharged feels like such a long time.
But my healthy self is still here too, and this self says "Stay here for these 7-10 days. Take this time as a chance to find a reason you want to stay sober for. Talk some more. Reflect on yourself."
The problem is with self worth. I really don't think I'm worth the help and care - especially not the help and care of others. (And yes, logically I know that's not true but my emotions don't care about logic.)
[Typing this to distract myself. Only 1 hour until I can take my sleep meds and tomorrow will be a different day 🤞🏻]
#personal posts#I was honest with my doctor yesterday#and said that I couldn't go to a store rn without buying liquor#and I go to all the group therapy and other appointments#it just feels like I haven't hit rock bottom hard enough though#you know what I mean?#it's been this way with my ED and with my self harm as well#I always knew I had a problem.#and seeked help pretty early on (at least for the s/h)#but in order to develop the high amount of will power you need to stop for real#I had to sink really low#like really low#I had to be utterly frightened#drama had to happen#only then the 'click' happened#with alcohol this click hasn't happened yet and I don't know if I can do it without it#I *thought* it happened when things went out of control#but somehow it didn't scare me badly enough#maybe because my life isn't worth much to me rn#maybe I need to work on that#self worth and finding some kind of purpose#maybe tomorrow I'll text my social worker about it#because I need to trust someone in order to talk about this topic and I haven't developed that kind of trust with the staff here yet#oh well#tw addiction#tw self harm mention#tw Ed mention#tw suicidal ideation mention#and yes I know it's normal to struggle with The Urges#especially since I'm only three days sober lol
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I had Spider-Man 2 mailed to my house when I pre-ordered it and it hasn't arrived yet so I've just been spending my entire day dodging spoilery Youtube thumbnails like Tobey Maguire dodging Green Goblin's razor bats in slo-mo in that one scene.
#honestly i need to stop having games mailed to my house when i pre-order them cause it just makes it stressful to wait for them#like it just makes me nervous that they're just not gonna show up#even though that hasn't happened yet like i did the same thing with jedi survivor and mortal kombat 1 and they both arrived on the day#so like this one shouldn't be any different. ideally.#yet i get nervous about it anyway#i think part of it is these last few weeks in general have been incredibly stressful#two of the jobs i applied for got back to me at around the same time#and i gotta pick which one i wanna go forward with but i don't wanna burn bridges with either of them#so i'm basically just stringing them both along until i can pick one#and i'm still doing the online graphic design course but all the job shit is making it hard to stay caught up with that#AND i got a transaction notification for something i didn't purchase so i had to deactivate my credit card and get a new one#idk who got my credit card information or how or if i can get that money back but hopefully it doesn't happen again#basically i just need this damn game to get here on time so i'll have one less thing stressing me out#also another reason i need to stop having these games mailed to me is they always arrive in the afternoon#abd modern games take fucking forever to download onto the console#so even when you get them on the release day you gotta wait a billion hours to start playing#so when they arrive in the afternoon it basically means they won't finish downloading until well past midnight#so basically you judt gotta let it download overnight while you sleep and start it the next day#so yeah after this i should probably just go back to picking uo pre-orders at the store#especially when i get an apartment i wouldn't want the mail person just setting a $70 game on the floor outside my apartment while i'm gone#shut up tristan
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mmmph you can tell if negative feelings are persistent if the song you always jam out to is not helping with them
I was distracted by Several Happenings in the process of making this post but i'm still saying screw it and posting it
#a call from the void#posts made by me#unfortunate echoes#is that still my tag for this sort of thing?#I suppose it's probably a good thing that I haven't used the tag for so long that I've forgotten what it needs to be#anyway though!! i've been stuck in a bit of a bad way for the past ages but I figured if I didn't say anything it might go away#except it hasn't. so now not saying anything feels like i'm holding myself back! so I will stop doing that#TLDR nothing is engaging anymore and writing (either ask answers or full-on pieces) has become impossible#I feel like i'm hiding and I do not know whether going back to uni is going to help with any of this either or just make it worse#I also feel like i can't come across as seriously/sensibly as i'd like to#it's!! not a nice feeling!! there is nothing outright wrong and yet I feel like I have a mute button and it's been pressed#no ability to create!! no ability to contribute to conversation!! no ability to answer questions!!#if I can sort of do it on discord (and can talk on discord) then why can't I do it on tumblr!!#I don't know how to describe any of this most accurately and I feel like a petulant young child for attempting to#and this is all a terrible note to end the night on but i've gone past the point of caring!!!!!!
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Just screamed so loud in my car that both my ears rang and a spider fell from the ceiling. My throat hurts.
#my pharmacy won't fill my meds AGAIN because some motherfucker decided to make a new policy that requires more instructions or something#i keep not getting my meds when I need them because every time i get a new script sent out (like one I haven't been on before) i hear...#...nothing back from the pharmacy; generally for days; and then when i call them (every 10 or 15 or 30 minutes for several hours) no...#...one picks up the goddamn phone and i have to make time to go in in person and ask the pharmacist when my meds will be ready.#and then they tell me 'oh yeah we HAVE the script from your doctor. we just need MORE INFORMATION and sent them an ELECTRONIC NOTE...#...(reminder that i live in fucking rural idaho so most people use a fucking phone and not 'an electronic note') and haven't heard back...#...from them yet so we're just waiting on that :)' and then i have to smile and thank them bc it isn't their fucking fault the policy is...#...some fucking bullshit and then i have to call my doctor on the phone (and can never reach them directly so i have to get a...#...receptionist to leave them a note that i HOPE they'll see in the next couple of days but sometimes they don't) and since i never have...#...an emergency it's often 2 or more weeks before anyone gets back to me. i usually have to call the pharmacy again. and then they don't...#...always answer and i usually have to go in and ask AGAIN why my meds aren't ready and they go 'oh we're still waiting on your doctor'...#...:) or 'they sent us a message back but it wasn't ENOUGH information and we sent them another ELECTRONIC NOTE that they won't see for...#...days or weeks so we recommend YOU call your doctor even though we're the ones flinging you around like a rag doll and you have 0...#...control over it. and by the way we're going to continue doing this for like a fucking year every time you get a new script. and when...#...your doctor asks you if the new meds are working you're going to have to say 'i have no fucking clue because it took 6 weeks to get...#...my goddamn prescription filled and it takes 3 months for the medication to show signs of working so my pharmacy wasted HALF of that...#...time sending electronic notes instead of filling my motherfucking prescription and i was supposed to be off these meds by summer...#...since they cause intense sunburn and shit and i have an OUTDOOR JOB NOW but my acne is still bad and hasn't gone away enough to stop...#...using the super intense stuff and my face hurts and swells and oozes and i have to wear a wide-brimmed hat and sunscreen EVERY time...#...i go outside because i can get a sunburn in 20 minutes now and i've been having heat rashes from the sun for the first time in my...#...LIFE and i have to fucking monitor myself every time i go outside and it's the warm season and i need a new pair of lighter work...#...pants but they don't sell above a size 18 for women even though men go up to like a size 45 which is like a size 24 or 26 in women's...#...and men's pants don't fit me bc i was blessed with the largest ass in the history of mankind' and i am so. fucking. tired.#of all the bullshit.#i feel miserable. my mom is buying me otc imodium bc i have NO IDEA when my prescription will come available. i just want the cramping...#...to stop. i've been having diarrhea all day every day since sunday. the cramps HURT and they keep me up at night. i haven't been...#...eating much bc there's so much shit moving around and hurting in my gut that i can't feel when i'm hungry and food doesn't soumd great.#so i'm weak and slow and tired and can't go to work and i'm using up all the sick days i was hoping to save up to visit my friend in...#...cyprus this winter. so that probably can't happen. but anyways. my mom came by while i was typing this out and i feel betterish.#personal
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😔
#he hasn't noticed I'm upset yet. he's telling me his financial woes. and i feel bad about it now.#I just paid him £600. and he's still talking about it. look man please stop talking about it I feel bad#he doesn't mean to make me feel bad. but he is. i know im financially irresponsible man just stop it#like do you know how shitty it feels when you thought something was a gift and then he turns around and says Actually You Owe Me#:(#it's okay though I'll get over it in like 2 hours probably#me#ramblings
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i wonder if i should post my sus thoughts here as well. hidden away, where no one i know can see them... lol. maybe ill make an alt for that
#NOT sus#been thinking of xav again lately#he hasn't found this blog yet thankfully so i can say whatever i want#he keeps saying really weird shit to me#along with things a---s (censored so he doesnt find it LMAO) used to tell me#i really wish i could just fucking talk to xav but i cant. icant i cant i cant i cant i cant#hes so fucking disgusting kill him die DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE GET CANCER DIE DIE DIE#he pretended to be a---s in my inbox for fucking YEARS even when i already knew he was gone#as fucking horrible as xav is i can imagine that he will never get over this#i was listening to music the other day. songs that a---s liked#and im only really now realizing theyre all depressing as shit#i feel so stupid#all of our text messages are gone#it's like he never even fucking existed.#i deleted our messages along with every single piece of art we drew together a couple of days after he stopped replying#i couldnt take it#i still cant take it#the only thing i have left of him is memories#and songs that he loved#i dont know anymore#ive been so suicidal recently#sure it's all passive#that doesn't stop the thoughts though#i'm not going to do it willingly#obviously#but if something were to happen#i think i would relax#and let it happen
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Someday I will get S+ on Unsustainable Inconsolable... someday...
#it just hasn't clicked for me yet. need more practice I think#I struggle with slower songs in general so the ending always throws me (and the five shot ughhh)#I can get up to A+ on it which isn't bad!#rhythm doctor posting#I was 1 away from perfect on Dreams Don't Stop today though so that's progress
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i'm over here quietly distancing myself from my dad and then he has to send me a hanukkah package which includes a quilt my stepmom made for me and now i'm over here like 🥺
#i haven't opened the quilt package yet bc i'm waiting for hanukkah but it ripped a bit so i know what it is#i don't like my dad BUT#my stepmom has always been so kind and sweet and caring#and i know she's disappointed in my (lack of a) relationship with my father#that hasn't stopped her from doing really nice things like this even though i don't talk to her either#in another life i'd be closer to her and i'd make an effort with my father#don't mind me
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You Again*
Summary: The one where Harry is your sister's ex-boyfriend and you finally get to see him again after 5 years.
Word Count: 11.4k
Content Warning: 18+, smut, age gap (6 years), sir kink, choking, use of a toy, exhibitionism if you squint!
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."
Your eyes widen as you look up toward the man making his way into the diner. You'd recognize him anywhere. The dark curly hair. The tattoos that bleed through the fabric of his light shirt. The rings on his fingers.
Just like that, years' worth of memories come flooding back to you all at once.
"Harry," you shriek, sliding off the stool before practically flinging yourself into his arms.
He smells exactly the same. Like teakwood and spearmint. A rather odd mix, yet subtle enough to remind you of home.
Of him.
His chest vibrates with a deep laugh as his arms wrap around your frame to keep you against him, prolonging the hug a minute or two longer than socially acceptable.
And when you finally lean back to see him, your cheeks begin to warm.
It's been...four years? Five? Since you last saw him? Just days before he and your sister broke up, effectively removing him from your life for good.
It had been a hard time. You wanted to be there for your sister. To comfort her through the grief of losing such a long and meaningful relationship.
But you wanted to be there for him, too. After all, he was one of your best friends, age difference or not. He had always been the comforting, influential figure in your life that you relied on. That you counted on to get through different hardships in your life.
He had picked you up after your first day at your new job. Had held you in his arms as you cried over your first break-up. He had even listened to you talk about the boy you had fallen in love with.
Losing him felt like losing a part of yourself.
And now, five years later...that part of you has come home.
"Hi, Dot," he beams, reaching out to take hold of your chin and squeeze. "Shit, look at you. When did this happen?"
His eyes rake over your figure and you feel your skin grown hot under his appreciative gaze. "Stop, it hasn't been that long."
"The last time I saw you, I was helping you move into your new apartment across town,” he recalls, arms crossing in thought. "And now...now what? You’re still at your job, I assume?"
"I am. I just got a promotion, actually. I’m an assistant editor now.”
His eyes seem to light up, that soft green sending chills up the back of your neck as you glance down at your feet. "Dot...that's amazing. I'm so proud of you."
You wave the compliment away. "Thanks."
"Really," he insists before following you back to the counter where you'd previously been sitting. "I know how badly you wanted to pursue a career in publishing, and this...this is really amazing. Do you like it?"
"I do," you tell him as you settle back onto your stool. "Yeah, it's really nice. The people are great, the work is fun. Plus, the promotion came with a raise."
"That's amazing," he sighs, head shaking like he can't believe it. "Really, that's so...I honestly can't believe it. I can't believe it’s been so long. You’re so…adult now.”
You snort to yourself as you twirl your straw around your milkshake. "Yeah, I know. Though I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.”
"You should." He smiles, and it's big and beautiful. "You’ve always been grown up. Even before, you were mature for your age.”
“Well…yeah. I was twenty-three. That does make me an adult.”
“And now you’re twenty-eight.” He shakes his head again. “I can’t fucking believe it.”
You glance down at the rim of your glass. He’s right, it almost doesn’t seem possible. It feels like only last week that you were following him and your sister around town, begging to be included. Traipsing after them to bars, the mini golf course, and to any and all dates. Even though you knew your sister couldn’t stand it.
But Harry was nice and always inclusive. After all, he was your friend before he was your sister’s boyfriend. And he was determined to make sure that didn’t change, no matter how many times Atta rolled her eyes.
"I don't know how you put up with me," you finally admit. "God, I was so annoying. Atta used to get so mad at me for never leaving you alone."
He shrugs one shoulder up. "You weren't annoying to me. I liked it. I mean, I liked that you still felt so...safe? Around me? I guess?"
"Yeah, I did.” You smile. “Honestly, I think you were my best friend.”
He laughs as he looks back over. "I better have been.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Cause you were mine.”
"Good."
He smirks. "Remember how you used to fall asleep on my shoulder every time we watched a movie?”
"That's right," you groan, burying your face into the palm of your hand. "See? Annoying."
"Not annoying. Cute."
"It was not cute, it was annoying. And you know she hated it.”
“I don’t care. She fell asleep on my shoulder, too. It was nice.”
You snort. “It was weird, let’s face it. But I swear I've outgrown such habits."
He seems to hesitate for only a moment, eyes flicking between yours. "Too bad."
A beat.
You feel your stomach flip as you look away, breaking you both free of the tension. "So...what, um...what brings you to town? I was a little surprised to hear from you."
He takes the cup of coffee the waitress had poured him and slides it closer. "Oh, yeah, I'm...I'm here on business. And I remembered you lived here, so...I thought I’d reach out.”
"I see."
"Yeah.” He hesitates again. "And...I missed you."
You can’t fight the flutter in your chest. "I missed you, too, Har."
The conversation lulls as the busy diner continues to bustle around you. And despite how glad you are to see him, something feels...off. Different.
You aren't sure what. Can't quite put your finger on it. It almost feels like it used to, but something has changed. He looks like your Harry. He sounds like your Harry. He feels like your Harry. And yet, he feels like a stranger.
Maybe it's because it's been so long since you've seen him. Maybe it's because you aren't twenty-three anymore. Or maybe it’s because now he’s no longer Harry, your sister’s boyfriend.
Now he’s just…Harry. Your old friend.
When you notice the way he’s staring, your eyes narrow. “What?”
"Nothing." He shrugs again before chuckling under his breath. "No, nothing. Sorry, I just...I don't know. It's just...so strange to see you again. Like this."
"Like...this?"
"Yeah. Just us. Alone. No Atta.”
“Ah.” You swallow. “Right.”
“It’s not…weird, is it? I mean, it is weird but it’s not…uncomfortable, right?”
“No,” you rush to assure him. “No, I wanted to meet you. What happened with you two has nothing to do with me.”
He glances down at his lap. “Right.”
There’s an edge to the memory that wasn’t there before, yet despite your curiosity, you bite your tongue.
“What about you?” you say instead. “What have you been up to in the last five years?”
He smirks. “Oh, not much.”
“Uh-huh. You think I’ve grown up, you’re basically an old man now.”
“Yeah, yeah, all right. I’m only 34.”
“That’s still six years older than me, which makes you old.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m serious. You're not that idiot on a motorcycle anymore. Now you say things like, 'I'm in town on business,” and you wear expensive suits, and ridiculous watches."
He glances down at the aforementioned object on his wrist. "In my defense, this was a gift.”
“Sure.”
“It was,” he insists. His eyes flick over your face. “Look, I would have reached out sooner, but…after we broke up, I figured you wouldn’t want me to. I mean, you had just started your new job, and I knew it wouldn’t be fair to ask you to be a side, so…”
“There were no sides,” you argue softly. “You both just…grew apart. You wanted different things.”
“Yeah,” he agrees with a sigh. “But I know it hurt her. It hurt me, too. And it was weird having to say goodbye to all of you. And leave all those memories behind. You were both such a huge part of my life."
"Yeah," you whisper. "You were a huge part of mine, too."
"Does Atta know you're meeting me?"
"No. Didn't really think it was any of her business. This is about us, not her."
His brow raises. "Would she be mad if she did?"
"I don't know,” you admit. “Probably not, but...would it really matter?"
"Of course it would. I'd never want to get in the way of your relationship."
"You aren't," you insist. "Look, she's dating somebody anyway. And I'm sure you are, too. You've both moved on. We're just...old friends catching up, and she'd have to understand that."
He seems to consider this before saying, "Yeah. I'm not, though."
"You're not...what?"
"Seeing anybody," he clarifies, tongue coming out to swipe across his bottom lip. "Haven't really dated anybody since she and I broke up."
"Oh, Harry," you murmur. "I'm...I'm sorry—"
"No. No, don't be," he insists. "It wasn't...I've just been busy. Working at the firm and renovating my house. I've gone on some dates but nothing serious. I just...haven't met the right person, I guess."
"The right person, huh?" you muse teasingly as you take a sip of your drink. "Okay, and what does Harry Styles' right person look like?"
He exhales an amused chuckle. "God, I don't know. I don't really think I'm that picky. Just...anybody I can get along with, I suppose."
"That's it? No, 'They need a fat ass and the ability to make me a sandwich?'"
He grins so big, the corners of his eyes crinkle. "For fuck's sake. No, nothing like that. Look, I don't know. Call me old fashioned, but...I think sometimes you meet somebody, and you can just...tell. You know? There's this energy, this shift. You look at them...and it all just makes sense.”
And as he looks you, waiting for you to consider this…the air shifts.
"Yeah," you agree quietly, allowing your attention to fall down his features and land on his lips. "Yeah, that's...you're right."
He seems to notice the way your focus has wandered because he quickly clears his throat and looks back down at his mug. "What, um...what about you? I'm assuming you're seeing somebody."
You look away as well, willing yourself to calm. "Oh? And why do you assume that?"
"Come on," he nearly snorts, eyebrow cocking. "Look at you. You're beautiful and you're smart and you have this effortless ability to make anyone around you feel good. Who wouldn't want to date you?"
"Well...pretty much every male in the city," you retort. "I don't know. I've tried dating but...there's always something missing. It never really feels quite right."
"Yeah. I know what you mean," he hums. "There's this...disconnect. Like you're forcing something that you know isn't right."
"Exactly! It's not that I don't want to find somebody, I just...haven't. It's not as easy as it is with you."
His head tilts. "With me?"
"Yeah, you know," you sigh, hands waving about the air as you try to explain your point. "I haven't seen you in five years but we still, just...picked right back up, you know? As if no time had passed. We're still just us. We can talk, and we can laugh, and we don't have to force anything."
He nods. "Right."
"I mean, honestly? Sometimes I think it would be easier to date somebody I already know. The problem is that all the guys I know are assholes. And too immature, I guess. They've got no sense of purpose, no drive. And it’s not like I need to be taken care of, but…it’d be nice to know they could. You know?”
"Yeah. You need someone with a good head on their shoulders."
"Exactly. I need someone who feels more like an equal than this thing I need to take care. I want to date a man, not a Tamagotchi."
He laughs again and the sound brings the butterflies back to your stomach. You feel proud to have amused him. And even more proud of the way he casually places a hand on your arm as he takes a deep breath.
When he lets go, you look down at the spot on your skin as if you can still see outline of his fingers.
"You'll find somebody," he tells you, and you do your best to ignore the sparks dancing up the back of your neck. "You will. And they'll be perfect for you. Old enough to know better and wise enough to do it right."
You place your palm over the spot he once touched, squeezing it gently. "Yeah. Hey, and you, too. Anybody would be lucky to have you."
His eyes linger on yours. "Yeah?"
You smile. "Yeah."
The next few minutes are devoted to sharing stories about your families. He asks how your parents are, you ask about his. He tells you about his job and you tell him about your roommate. You recall every detail of the past five years, and once you've finally caught up to today, he pays for your drinks, and offers to walk you home.
You make your way along the busy streets of the city as Harry tells you that he's thinking about getting a cat. You laugh and tell him that he'd make a wonderful cat dad, and he seems to flush.
You wonder why.
Fifteen minutes later, you're walking up the steps to your building, already apologizing for the messy state of your apartment before he's even stepped foot inside.
He snorts the implication away, assuring you that no matter what, it can't be worse than how Atta used to keep her place.
And the mention of your sister breeds an odd feeling in your chest. Unease, and this strange tinge of jealousy. Like you're almost peeved at him for bringing her up. For reminding you that he's seen the inside of her room before.
But you shake it away as you push the door open, refusing to linger on the thought.
"Well...this is it," you declare, stepping aside to let him enter. "Probably looks smaller than you remember, but…it does the trick.”
He takes a moment to glance over your knickknacks and decor before he grins. “I love it.”
"Really?"
"Yeah." He shoves his hands into his expensive coat pockets and nods. "Yeah, really. It feels...fitting."
"What do you mean?"
"I don’t know. It just feels like you.”
Your teeth gnaw on the inside of your cheek as you walk to the kitchen. "Well...thanks. I think."
You offer him a glass of water, to which he declines, before you join him back by the door. You're not sure that you’re quite ready to say goodbye, but you know he can't stay forever.
You wonder if you actually want him to.
You wonder if it would be so bad if you did.
"This was…really nice," he says as he takes a half-step through the doorframe. "Really, Dot. I'm proud of you. And everything you’ve done. And I'm really glad that I can still call you my friend after everything."
Your heart starts to pound a little harder inside your chest. "Yeah, me too. I really missed you, Har. I hope we can catch up again soon."
The side of his mouth curls up as his eyes soften. "I'd like that."
With that, he moves into the hall, and you close the door behind him.
The feeling that follows is...strange. Overwhelming. Like something is wrong. Like something has just been ripped away from you.
Like something is missing.
You feel on edge. Off-balance. Confused and unsure and you have no idea why. There’s a pain in your stomach that wasn’t there before and a hollowness in your heart that didn’t exist before you saw him.
Suddenly, there's a sharp knock on your door. "Dot?"
He's back.
Confused and slightly excited, you swing it back open to find him braced against your frame. He’s quiet as he studies you, brows woven together in what appears to be deep thought before he strides back inside your apartment and begins to pace your floor.
"Okay," he begins. Strained. "Okay, tell me...tell me this isn't just me. Tell me this isn't just in my head."
You shut the door. "What do you mean?”
He looks at you before frantically gesturing between your two bodies. "This. This thing we’ve been doing all afternoon. Tell me it's not just me. Tell me you feel it.”
And you're almost certain you know what he means, but the implication of it scares the shit out of you.
So, you simply tilt your head. "Har...feel what? I don't know what you're talking about—"
"Us.” He stares at you. “Us, there's something...there's something different here. Something that wasn't here before."
"Like...?"
"Like...like the way you look at me," he says, eyes on yours as you feel your heart begin to race. "You never used to look at me that way."
Your lashes flutter, and suddenly, you feel acutely aware of the way you've begun to gawk at him. Have you been looking at him differently?
"And the way you speak to me," he continues. "Talking about needing someone to take care of you. Someone older. Someone...more mature."
You swallow.
He takes a step closer. "And all day, you've just...you’ve found a way to brush your hand against mine. Or your arm. And you laugh at everything I say, even when it isn't funny. And I know you. I know this can't be what I think it is, but...you gotta tell me I'm not going crazy. You have to tell me it's not just...me."
And you realize now that you have an easy way out. You could brush off the accusation and tell him that it is just in his head. That he's your sister's ex-boyfriend, and he's your friend, and that you would never make a pass at him.
But then you say, "…what if it wasn't just you?"
He goes still, lips parting as he leans back. Almost as if struggling to understand what you've just said.
Truth be told, you're struggling to understand it yourself. You hadn't realized just how differently you'd been acting toward him. Or that you’d begun to wonder what would happen if he was your Harry instead of hers.
Because he’s not hers anymore. He’s just a man. A very attractive man. With a job, and a house, and enough emotional maturity not to make a fart joke every three minutes.
And it's not your fault that you're starting to see him in a different light. It's been years. Five whole years since you've spoken to him and you're both adults now. Completely different people, and would it really be the worst thing if you wondered what could have been?
"Dot…" he begins slowly, clearly wrestling with what he wants to say, "…you don't…I don't think you really know what you're doing."
You take a step as well, challenging him. "What am I doing?"
"You're...you're—" His fingers find the bridge of his nose as he squeezes. Hard. "Fuck, Dot. Don't…don't do this—"
"Do what? Flirt with you?"
His palms fly to his ears with a wince. "Stop. No, you didn't...you didn't say that. You're not flirting with me. You're not flirting with me—"
"What if I am?" you retort, following after him with a surge of confidence you didn’t realize you had. "Why would that be so wrong?"
"Because,” he scoffs, shooting a stern look your way. "You’re Atta’s little sister. And we’re friends. And you’re basically a child—"
"I'm not a child," you remind him. "I'm twenty-eight. I've been making capable decisions for quite some time now—"
"But not this," he hisses, the muscles in his neck straining. "Not…shit. You can't do this. You can't—”
"Why not? You said it yourself, there's something different here—"
"But not this—"
"Why not?"
"Because…you're you," he huffs. "You're...you're my best friend, and my ex’s little sister, and I’m…I’m just this big, bad man come to ruin you.”
And somehow, the idea goes straight to your cunt.
"You're not ruining me, Harry," you say, even though you wish he would. "We’re adults. Old friends catching up and realizing that maybe things can be different now."
He takes in a breath. "But they can't be. They can't be different—"
"Why—"
"Because it's not right—"
"What's not right? What?" you argue. "Is it just the age difference? Is it Atta? Is it that you aren't attracted to me, because I know you were flirting with me, too—"
His entire face twists into a grimace as he inhales sharply and presses his hands back over his ears. "God. Don't say that—"
"You were," you insist. "Like it or not, I'm not the little girl you used to know. All right, and there's...there's nothing wrong with us testing the waters—"
He steels himself, arms dropping back to his sides. "We can't."
"Why?" you repeat for what feels like the hundredth time. "Why can't we? Huh? We're not breaking any rules. We're not doing anything illegal. I don't see what's so wrong with just trying—"
"I'd ruin you," he says again, with so much conviction that it makes your stomach drop. "I would ruin any chance you had at a normal relationship—a normal life. All right, being with me...it would complicate everything. And I'd never do that to you—"
"I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just asking you to try—"
"Try what?"
"Try seeing." You take another step, making sure you have his full attention. "Just…try seeing if what we think is here is actually here. If maybe we were meant to find each other again after all this time. If this is where it all finally makes sense."
He considers this for a moment. Considers you. And you aren't sure when you suddenly became so enamored by the thought of Harry, but you’re here now. And he’s here. And there’s a shift.
And it feels right.
Then, his head begins to shake. "No. No, I know better. I have to know better. I have to do better than this. I can't...God, I can't believe I'm even...no. No, you mean too much to me for me to ruin this."
You feel your chest deflate as your lips press into a thin line. And you stare at him. You stare and you see the indecision and anguish on his face. You see the way he wrestles with the idea you've given him. The way he wrestles with himself.
The way he wrestles with you.
You don't want to push him. Because you know this is something you can never take back. And maybe there's just too much adrenaline in your veins right now. Maybe you aren't thinking straight, and once he leaves and the moment passes, you’ll wonder what you were so worked up about anyway.
But right now, all you feel is disappointment.
"Fine," you whisper, and his eyes soften. "No, fine. You're right. You're right, this is...I never should have said anything. I was…confused. I was just happy to see you again and I thought it was something else, but…you're right. It's nothing. And I don't wanna be your mid-life crisis. I just want us to be friends again.”
Your tiny apartment falls silent as you both settle onto this conclusion. As you let your heartbreak dangle in the air.
Then, his fingers between to flex and his teeth begin to grit, and watch in real time as he starts to change his mind.
Then, he murmurs, “Oh, fuck it.”
Next thing you know, he's closing the gap between you, taking hold of your face and kissing you hard.
You don’t have time to process it. Don’t even care to process it. But you don’t care. Because everything makes sense now.
So, you feel him. Surrender to him. Indulge in the dominate pull of his hands on your jaw as he takes a taste of you on his tongue. As he presses his hips so hard into yours that you feel your knees go weak.
You make a noise in your throat as he goes deeper, and he growls. Like he's fighting himself. Fighting the urge to take as he begins roughly walking you back until you’re slammed against the wall.
He knows exactly what he's doing in a way that younger men never have. He makes you feel both taken care of and somehow, still completely helpless. You don't have to think about anything with him because he does everything.
He presses his strong, tall frame into yours until he practically disappears into you. His large hand grips onto the back of your neck as you whimper, taking control of the moment—of you—until the only thought left in your head is just more.
And you don't doubt that he'd give you more if you asked, but before you can, he pulls back, and puts the moment on pause.
You feel breathless. Dejected. Wilting in his hold as he meets your eye and looks for your reaction.
But he won’t find it. And you bite back a whine as you wait for him to come back.
He sweeps his thumbs along your cheek before sighing to himself. "Dot..."
You feel your stomach turn at the nickname. At the way it comes out raspy and desperate. "Don’t say it."
But he does, anyway. "We shouldn't do this."
"I know," you murmur, fingers disappearing into his hair while he seems to nestle into your touch. "I know, but I want to. I want to, Har. So…please don’t make me lose you again.”
Another beat passes before he groans and presses his forehead to yours. “God,” he nearly growls, and the sound makes your thighs squeeze together. “Dot—”
"I won't tell," you promise while his jaw clenches. "I won't, I swear. I'll be your secret."
Just like that, the hand he placed on your thigh tightens. Squeezing until you're squirming beneath him. He’s losing his conviction and you’re losing your patience.
"This is wrong," he mumbles. "S'wrong, Dot. I can't do this to you. Can't do this with you...I can't...I know better. I have to do better.”
You tug on his hair as you straighten up, whining beneath a strained breath. "I don’t want you to do better. I want you to do me.”
He exhales deeply with this, nose running down the side of your face as his lips travel to your neck. He seems to take refuge there, subtly pressing kisses to your throat as he thinks. "I want to," he tells you softly. "You have no idea how badly I want to. How badly I want to do everything for you. Show you how a real man fucks. Until you see stars.”
"Har," you just about gasp, anxious to have him do just that. "Please...please—"
"Fuck." His thigh slots between the both of yours and you writhe against him, searching for anything you might find. "Be so easy to take you. Be so easy to show you what you're missing. To wreck you until you’re begging for more—"
"So do it," you plead, pulling on him until his mouth meets yours. "Do it, Har. Please. Just once. Just once, and I promise I'll be so good. Be so good for you. Won't ever ask you again—"
His hold on you grows more determined before he's ripping you away from the wall and slinging you toward your bed a few feet away.
He’s on you in seconds, hovering about where you lie as you greedily grab for him. "Promise me," he hisses as his palm slips beneath your shirt, and a needy whimper bleeds from your throat. "Promise me that this is what you want."
"I promise," you repeat quickly, arching into his touch. "Promise—"
"Promise me...that you'll be good," he says next, fingers brushing over the material of your bra. "That you'll behave. That you'll do exactly what I tell you."
"Yes," you breathe, eyes falling shut.
"Fucking promise me..." he continues as he scratches down your chest, "...that you won't tell. That you'll be my dirty little secret. That you'll be mine. That you'll let me ruin you and that you'll fucking thank me for doing it—"
The last domino falls. Crashes to the ground as you tug him down to you so you can kiss him. So, you can prove your loyalty. Prove that this is everything you’ve ever wanted.
You feel him smile.
"You little fucking minx,” he purrs.
Your skin warms as Harry's stunned but unceasingly enthralled gaze lingers on the red lace of your underwear. However, his fingers move instead for your hips. His hauntingly empty touch ghosting across the fabric of your underwear as you anxiously await contact.
But he doesn't give it to you. Not quite, not yet. He just wants to look at you. Wants to drink you in. Allow himself the privilege of seeing what he never has before.
"Did you wear these just for me, little one?" he asks in a gravely drawl, eyes flicking up to yours from where he lays between your thighs.
You swallow as you look across your stomach at him. You're not sure why you picked out this particular set today. Perhaps it was a subconscious choice or perhaps destiny was simply on your side.
"Maybe," you murmur, nails curling into your palm as you work in shallow breaths. God, you need him to touch you. Need him to do something about the mess that's sitting two inches in front of his face.
The very same mess he's pretending he doesn't notice.
Your response encourages a smirk as he hums and glances back down at the little white bow placed delicately in the center. "S'cute, Dot," he says softly, pinching the ribbon between his thumb and forefinger. "Fucking precious, actually. Knowing you got yourself all dolled up. Just to see me."
He pulls his lip between his teeth and glances back over your face. He's amused by the weary and desperate expression you wear and you're two seconds away from groaning.
His touch moves down. Down, down, down until the pad of his finger brushes over your clit.
You tense before releasing a shaky exhale.
Satisfied with this reaction, he moves even lower. Until he finds that growing wet patch that's beginning to hurt.
"What's this?" he coos, looking down toward the darkened red fabric. "Oh, darling...s'this for me, too?"
You're not sure where your quippy attitude from before has gone because now you can do nothing but nod mutely as you shift beneath his hand.
"Yeah?" His eyebrow raises as he grins at you. "Is this what has you so anxious?"
You give him another nod.
He hums. "Think I need to see for myself, hm?" He smirks and pats his palms against your hips. "Take these off for me."
You quickly reach down to hook your fingers around the hem of your underwear and drag them down your thighs. Once they've been pulled from your body, you get ready to toss them onto the other side of the bed. But before they can be flicked from the tips of your fingers, Harry snatches them with his fist.
"Uh-uh," he tuts as he tucks them into his suit's breast pocket. "These are mine now."
You suck in a sharp, eager pant. "Har—"
"Shh." He settles back onto his stomach, hands curling around your thighs to guide them apart and allow him a better visual. "M'busy, little one."
But it’s nearly impossible to stay quiet as his warm breath fans across your pussy, making the mess that much more obvious to you both. In fact, you can practically see the glistening reflection in his eye as he studies your cunt in the most intimate of ways.
You're not sure what he wants. What he's doing or planning or thinking. And you don't know why, but the way he stares at you does more for the apprehensive coil in your gut than him actually touching you has.
Finally, he makes another satisfied noise deep within the back of his throat before he brings his fingers back to you.
Two are placed just above your clit before he teasingly drags them down. However, when your hips buck up, he merely shoves them back down with a tsk.
Once you’re still, he starts again. Easing himself through your folds as he spreads you with the utmost glee. Fascinated by the way your body feels, the way it reacts to him.
His tongue sits between his lips as he ventures down, and the moment he finds the pooling of arousal waiting for him...you see the muscles in his neck contract.
"Darling…" The nickname is whispered across your body as he scoots closer. "Bet this hurts, doesn't it?"
"Yes," you reply instantaneously, straining around the singular word as you resist the urge to whimper.
He circles the tip of his finger around your aching hole, almost as if to test you. "Oh, precious girl...how long, hm? How long have you been in so much pain?"
Truthfully, since you hugged him at the diner.
"All day," you say aloud, hands gripping onto the duvet beneath you. "All day, Har. Been thinking about you all day."
And that is the honest answer. You'd been anxiously awaiting your meeting from the moment you woke up.
But he smiles as if he knows better, despite the way he seems to bask in your response. "All day, hm? And what were you gonna do if I never came back? Were you just gonna sit here and rub your pretty thighs together?"
Your heart skips while your hands gather atop of your stomach.
His brow raises. "No? Well then how were you gonna take care of it, hm?"
For a moment, you think this is simply rhetorical, but the longer the silence stretches, the more obvious it becomes that he expects an answer.
You swallow the odd lump in your throat. "How do you think?"
"Uh-uh," he chastises again. "I wanna hear you say it. Want you to tell me exactly how you were gonna fix this little problem of yours had I not been here."
Your head flops back against the pillows as you glare at the ceiling. He's always been rather infuriating but now he's a menace.
"Dot..." He's warning you. Calling you back. Urging you not to be so bratty.
With a tentative sigh, you look back at him. "My...vibrator."
He perks up. "Yeah?"
You nod faintly.
"Tell me how," he instructs next, jutting his chin toward you. "Better yet...show me. Show me how you've been taking care of yourself all these years."
Feeling rather embarrassed under the spotlight of such an intimate request, you shyly look over toward your nightstand and outstretch a hand. After pulling the drawer open, you slip inside and find the purple wand that's just small enough to fit snugly inside your palm.
And Harry watches with a certain wonder in his eye as you bring the dainty toy closer. Yet, he says nothing while you slowly guide it toward your stomach and down to your thighs.
But he does, however, shift in order to make room, scooting back by a hair to allow you the space you need to place the head right above your aching clit.
For some reason, doing something so private in front of him feels...odd. Strange and almost unsettling. And perhaps that's just nerves, but you can't deny the heat that rushes to your face as he looks between you and the vibrator.
"S'this it, then?" he murmurs, a hint of teasing laced within the remark. "Don't even have to turn it on?"
Your thumb taps against the power button, a nervous tic, although you refrain from switching the toy on just yet. "No..."
His smirk is borderline haughty. "Then what do you do, little one? How do you use it?"
You say nothing. You hold his stare, and you hold a deep breath, and you hold the wand to your glistening cunt.
Then...you flip the switch.
The soft, dainty vibrations echo across the room, across your bodies, and across your clit as it's met with the instant stimulation of the pulsating wand.
You choke on a gasp as you return your eyes to the ceiling, allowing for the feeling to take control of each remaining sense.
And as you do, Harry's hands make themselves known to you as they begin to smooth up your legs, helping guide your thighs further apart once again.
There's an ever-so-slight stretch that follows as your muscles are pulled, and the distinctive burn makes your lashes flutter shut.
"There you go," he whispers. "So pretty, darling. God, could watch you do this all day."
Truthfully, you imagine you’re quite a sight. After all, you’ve watched yourself before. You know how it looks. Know exactly the kind of visual fantasy Harry is witness to right now.
So, you play it up, give him a show. After all...he's got a front row seat.
You rotate the head slowly, circling down and around your hole before retreating and dragging the object back up and through.
And you shiver every time it brushes against that particular sweet spot. Every time the pulses slow just to speed up once more. It's almost torturous the way your body is being bent to such salacious desires. And cruel the way you're forced to do this while he only watches.
A whimper slips free, and you arch off the bed, pressing the toy as tight against your body as you can stand.
You hear Harry chuckle.
"Easy," he warns before you feel his fingers curl around your wrist, encouraging your grip to relax. "Take it slow, Dot. Not in a hurry, are you?"
"No," you breathe, head shaking zealously. "No, m'just...feels good."
"Does it?" He almost sounds surprised. "Hm. Interesting. Seeing as you're doing it wrong."
Your head lifts.
He glances toward the vibrator. "May I?"
You nod.
Pleased, he slips the toy free from between your fingers and clears his throat. Focused eyes landing on your body as he readies the bullet.
Then...he begins.
It meets your clit—an innocent, familiar touch—before it's instantly being dragged down. He's slow with it. Giving you enough time to feel each particular flutter and twitch.
Your soft gasps and grateful sighs carry him further, until the tiny head of the toy is swimming through your arousal. You fall still, attention locked on the man by your knees.
But he’s still focused. Soft, green eyebrows weaving together as his pretty cherry lips stretch into a smile.
Something changes—everything changes—when he slips the head inside. Your entire body ripples from the vibrations as you stumble over his name and squirm across the mattress.
He only laughs before placing his arm overtop your stomach to keep you cemented to the bed. "None of that. Stay still for me."
"Har," you whisper, depleted of any strength. "Please..."
"What, little one? What do you want?"
"I need...please, I'm..."
"What? Does it feel good?"
"Yes. Yes...yes, feels so good. Please..."
"Please what? What do you want, sugar?"
More. Everything. Anything. "Fuck, I'm—don't stop. Please don't stop."
"Oh, darling," he breathes. "I'd never dream of it."
He takes the toy out and moves it back to your clit, circling gently a few times before pressing down hard.
And you almost miss the full feeling it provided as it was eased into you, but before you can dwell for too long...Harry's extending his fingers and slipping them into your cunt.
Not one, but two of those beautiful digits push past your walls and begin to stretch you, ripping a gasp from your throat at the simultaneous stimulation.
"Attagirl," he murmurs from below, and you can hear the smug undertone. "That's what you wanted, hm? Needed something to fill you."
Your chest heaves, the red lace of your bra lifting and falling as you roll your head back. "God, Har—"
"Tell me, darling," he continues, easing himself out just to push back in. "Were you gonna use your own fingers? If I wasn't here? Gonna ride your pretty little hand?"
You can't tell if he already knows the answer or if he just wants to picture your hand between your thighs.
Either way, you pant out, "Mhm."
"Yeah? How many, honey? How many were you gonna use?"
"...two."
He tsks, seemingly disappointed with this answer. "Just two? Hm. And would it have felt like this, darling? Would they be able to do it for you the way mine can?"
To accompany this ask, he curls upward, nearly yanking the pleasure out of you as you choke on a cry and writhe away from him.
"Fuck—" Your teeth tug on your bottom lip. "Shit, Har—"
"Is that a no, then?" He thrusts his fingers out and back in again. "Would you have gotten yourself this wet...with just your own hand?"
The sound of him slipping through your arousal meets your ear as you groan and look down.
"No?" He adds a third finger while making sure to keep the wand of the vibrator exactly where it needs to be. "What about when you thought of me? Would that have done it for you, sugar? Thinking of me while you soaked your sheets? While you dripped down your knuckles as you fucked yourself?"
You've never heard a man talk to you this way. You already knew his experience superseded that of any man you'd been with before but this. None of those other boys ever knew how. But Harry...God. He knows just what to say. Knows exactly what you need to hear, and it overwhelms you.
"Har...Har—"
"Need an answer," he reminds you, but when you refuse to offer him one, he takes himself away. His fingers, the toy, his body. Leaning away completely as your pussy goes completely quiet.
"Harry," you just about moan, pushing up onto your elbows to leverage the playing field. "You...I'm...I was just—"
"Disobeying," he answers for you. "That's what you were doing. And I don't think that's fair, do you?"
You frown. You know this tone he's taking with you. Authoritative and condescending. It makes you huff. "Fine. I'll try again."
"Good girl," he murmurs, nodding at you as if to encourage confidence.
"I...wait, what was the question again?"
He smiles at this, releasing an amused chuckle beneath his breath before crawling back to you. His hands find the mattress beside your hips and he settles between your parted thighs, lips dangerously closer now.
And you can smell him. Smell his cologne, and his aftershave, and his shampoo. Can feel the heat radiating off his body, even through the expensive suit. Can see how much he wants to take care of you—ruin you. As promised.
"Do you get yourself this wet...when I'm not around?" he repeats, and the tip of his nose brushes against yours.
Your breath hitches. "No."
The answer was always obvious, but you know he needed to hear you say it.
"Do you touch yourself...the way I touch you?"
"No."
"Can you make yourself come the way I can?"
"God, no—" you gasp before taking hold of his face and smashing his mouth against yours.
His lips are perfect and his kiss is perfect and the two of you are perfect together. A connection so seamless, so effortless...it's as if you were always meant to be.
A ridiculous notion, you think to yourself, but right now...it's quite nice.
He pulls himself back just enough to meet your eye and offer a devious grin. "Then let’s find out, hm?"
Rough fingertips travel up the length of your inner thigh, forming goosebumps in the wake. You shiver, ready to receive his touch once again before he dances right past your cunt, and up your hip.
He moves for the lace on your chest, tugging on the wire between your breasts with a disappointed tsk.
"I want this gone," he decides, plucking it from your skin. "Need to see all of you, Dot."
And before you can even reach back to undo the hook, he's looping an arm underneath your back, lifting you up, and flicking the clasp free.
Once done, he yanks the bra down your arms and body before flinging it somewhere behind him.
Your eyes shut as your naked chest is revealed to him, heart hammering against your ribcage.
But then, you feel those lips again. He wraps his mouth around your left nipple before you can even whisper his name, sucking on you as though he's determined to make you see stars.
Which you do the moment his teeth pull on the sensitive skin. And you can't help but mewl as his tongue flicks cruel and merciless patterns against before moving for your collarbone.
He groans as he goes, situating his knee between your legs and pressing it directly against your cunt. His other hand gropes at your right breast, kneading at the tender flesh until his mouth reaches your neck. He nips at a vein just below your jaw and you arch up into him, chest knocking into his.
He sucks sweet bruises into the curve of your throat before licking apologies over the newly ruined skin. It's slow and painful and beautifully good.
Everything about him is beautiful and good.
His entire body seems to cater to yours as he cages you to the mattress and easily pulls whimpers from your throat. As he touches you, and pleases you, and knows you in a way nobody else ever has.
You grind yourself against his leg before glancing down. And that’s when you notice the way your arousal has begun to soak through his nice pants. The way a dark little patch seeps into the fancy—and expensive—material. A sight both erotic and humiliating.
Your whimper forces his eyes to where yours reside, and he smirks when he sees your mess.
"What's the matter, little one?" he asks, taking his hand from your tit and using it to grab onto your jaw. "Are you embarrassed?"
You nod, despite his hold.
"Oh, my dirty little girl,” he hums. “I don't mind you soaking my trousers. But I'd rather you soak my cock."
You'd rather that, too, and you're more than grateful when he leans back to undo his belt. You don't know where this will lead you. If you’ll fuck him and then lose contact for another five years.
Or if you’ll fuck him and change everything.
But right now, you don't mind. You'll happily exist in this moment with him. In these bad decisions until you're coming so hard, you forget your own name.
He leans back to begin ridding himself of his clothes and you scramble upward to help him along. Your greedy hands grab at his jacket and his shirt, wrestling them down his arms and off his broad chest. Wanting to see him the way he can see you.
You nearly moan when his inked skin is revealed to you. You knew he'd gotten a few tattoos in college, and even some a bit after. But seeing them now, painted across such a tan, toned canvas makes your head spin.
"Easy," he laughs, reaching out to swipe his thumb beside your mouth to collect the pooling drool. "Save some for me, hm?"
But you can't. Instead, you take his finger between your lips and bury it beside your tongue.
Surprised, his lashes flutter. But once you realize he won’t be able to undo his pants without both hands, you regretfully pop his digit free. Allowing him to slip out of his briefs until his cock springs free.
He’s…perfect. Still. Somehow. Red and swollen and leaking just for you. And you clench from the mere thought of having something so beautiful inside you.
You crawl closer, eager for a taste, but Harry simply grabs hold of your chin.
"Yes, little one?" he murmurs, using his other hand to hold his cock. "Did you want something?"
You nod and lean forward another inch.
"All right," he concedes, pumping himself before subtly tugging you down. "Just a taste, honey. Since you've been so good."
He leads your mouth to him and without a moment's hesitation, you outstretch your tongue, and drag it along the underside.
You revel in the way you feel him twitch. In the way he exhales a deep breath through parted lips while moving his fingers to your hair, guiding you closer but not too close. Just enough to get him on your tastebuds.
You hum when you reach the tip, eager to indulge in the pre-cum already beading in pearly drops. And the vibrations from your eager appreciation make the muscles in his stomach quiver as he curses your name.
However, you barely get the chance to wrap your mouth around him before he's yanking on your hair, and straightening you back up.
"What did I say?" he hisses. "Don't be greedy, Dot."
"I'm sorry," you whisper, swallowing the bit of him still lingering in your mouth. "M'sorry, won't do it again."
"No, you won't. Or I'll go back on my promise."
"No," you whine, needy fingers wrapping around his wrist to keep him close. "No, won't do it again. I promise."
You know he’s amused with your desperation, and even though you're slipping fast, he can't help but be entertained. "We'll see, little one."
With a fervent motion of your head, you scramble back to the pillows to lay down, legs spreading as if to invite him in.
He smirks as he strokes his cock a time or two more while settling himself between your thighs. You imagine he could have you in a number of ways, a plethora of positions. But he chooses this. He chooses to see your face this first time. To see every ounce of pleasure etched within your features.
And truth be told, you don't mind. You could stare at him forever.
"Do you have any condoms?" he asks next, dipping down to press his lips to yours for only a second. "Or would you prefer to go without?"
You consider this. You're on birth control and you do have a bit of a creampie kink, so you shake your head.
"Without," you answer quickly before lifting an eyebrow. "Unless you'd like to?"
"No," he chuckles, placing a kiss to your nose this time. "Just wanted to make sure. Promised to take care of you, and that's what I plan to do."
Your heart flutters.
"Okay, gonna need you to be good, honey," he tells you now, large palm landing on your hip to steady you. "Gonna need you to take me and do as I say, all right? And I'll make it worth it."
"I will," you agree quickly, fingers traveling up the dips in his arms, ghosting over each muscle until you reach his shoulders. "Be so good, Har, promise."
"Uh-uh." His hand smacks against your inner thigh in warning before his thick eyebrow cocks up. "S'not my name, darling. Not right now."
Curious as to what he might mean, you study him for only a moment before you realize.
"I'm sorry, Sir."
Just like that, something in his demeanor switches.
Truth be told, the name doesn't do much for you. But you revel in the way he feeds off it. Find absolute euphoria in the way he lights up at your obedience until you want nothing more than to please him again. To call him anything he wants as long as he keeps looking at you like that.
"Good girl," he growls beneath a deep breath before he's bringing his cock closer.
He starts by dragging it along your clit, making you jolt and buck before his hand splays across your stomach to force you back down.
"No," he says simply, eyes fixated on the torture he's currently implementing.
He does it again, letting your swollen, puffy clit jump from the slight brush of his tip while he drags it through your arousal and shifts forward.
"Breathe," he orders next, stealing a quick glance at your puckered lips and wide eyes. “All right?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He slides in slowly, pushing past your tight walls, coaxing the muscles to stretch to his size.
At first, it's nothing more than a soft, easy sensation. Relaxing, in a sense as it aids the ache and fills the void his fingers left behind.
Then...he goes deeper.
And this is what you'd been waiting for. The slight tension and subtle burn as your body is forced to accommodate him. You're thankful he goes slow. Not just because of the pain. But because you both want to watch.
You want to watch the way he pulls your body apart. Wanna watch him disappear into your tight hole that pulls him in. Wanna watch the way you flutter and clench and claim him the way he’s claiming you.
"Oh, that's my fucking girl," he groans to himself. "Fucking hell, Dot. Didn’t think you’d be so tight."
"Yeah, well…never had someone like you before," you tease, gauging your body's reaction by slowly rolling your hips up.
"Yeah?" His hand lands on your throat, smoothing up the sides of your neck until he can squeeze a gasp from your lips. “Never, huh?”
You shake your head and with one quick thrust, he bottoms out, forcing a strangled cry as you arch into him.
“Never had someone stretch this pretty pussy the way it deserves, yeah?” He tsks again. “What a fucking shame.”
He rears back, and the pain and the pleasure that follow him out make your chest cave in.
However, he’s quickly driving himself back in before you can complain, pushing past the fluttering muscles once more as you keen and rake your nails down the blanket.
"Harry," you breathe, his name like a lifeline as you drown in his sin.
But it earns you another firm smack to your outer thigh as he grunts his disapproval into your neck. "No," he warns before nipping just below your jaw. "You know better."
But really…you don’t. "Sir...please," you amend.
"Hm. S'a good girl," he praises. "Knew you'd behave for me, yeah? My perfect little toy—"
A rather debauched moan rips from between your gritted teeth as his hips ram into yours. You can feel him everywhere. In your stomach, in your head, in your heart. His legs against yours, his chest against yours, his entire body against yours until you're almost convinced he's gonna become one with your bloodstream.
Not that you'd mind.
His arm slips beneath you once more in order to lift you up and provide him with a new angle. Then, he thrusts himself into you again as your mouth hangs open in a silent gasp for air.
"There she is, that's what you needed. Yeah, little one?' He does it again, brushing against that one spot that makes your toes curl. "The other boys never did it, did they?"
You whine, knees bending besides his hips as you attempt to follow after him when he pulls back.
But he's quick to tut and knock you back down onto your ass. "No. You don't rush me, darling. We do this my way. On my time. If I wanna stay here and fuck you nice and slow, then you’ll behave, and you’ll fucking take me.”
You’d like to agree, but he’s thrusting himself back in before you can.
"You will thank me for taking my time," he continues in a coarse cadence that seems to reverberate from his chest. "You will thank me...for being so goddamn good to you. And you will thank me…for doing it right."
"Harry, please—" you just about wail, hands finding his arms as you grasp on for dear life.
But the fingers around your throat tighten until the edges of your vision begin to blur.
"There you fucking go again," he growls, stilling his rhythmic attacks as he meets your eye. He seems to enjoy watching your focus go fuzzy. "Starting to think you like to be punished, hm? And here I thought you had a praise kink."
You clutch onto his wrist, nails scratching along the veins in his arm as he pounds into you at a harder pace.
But you don't mind. You enjoy watching him give into the voices inside his head. Enjoy the way his chocolate brown curls sweep across his forehead, the way his eyebrows weave together and the muscles in his jaw constrict.
For a 34-year-old man, he seems to possess quite a bit of stamina. He'd mentioned earlier his enjoyment for running and exercising, detailing his rather excessive and diligent routine.
And you'd smirked because you'd assumed he was showing off or because he was trying to stay ahead of the inevitable "dad-bod" in his future.
But now you understand why he's really so meticulous. He's a long way from looking his age. Apart from some subtle, but soft crinkles near his eyes and a few gray hairs that peek through the auburn waves, he looks rather youthful.
And his body. You swallow another noise as you let your hungry gaze trail over every inch, every muscle, every quiver in his thighs as he braces himself above you.
Sir feels like a more appropriate title to you now. Because he is. He is your superior in this moment A man to be respected and revered. Someone who not only knows better,.but knows you. Knows your body and how to play it like an instrument.
There's something exciting about submitting to him. Something tantalizing about being at his mercy. Most of the other men you've been with have felt more like your equals than anything else. Which you haven't minded in the least bit.
But the way Harry has managed to fit you into the submissive, subservient role so quickly suggests that perhaps...this is where you were always meant to be.
Beneath him.
"Oh, honey," he coos, a mix of condescension and amusement. "Can feel you squeezin' me. Need it so bad, don't you? Need to come, hm?"
"Yes. Yes," you whisper, nuzzling your face into his neck, lips eagerly pressing into the salty skin at your disposal. "Please, Ha—Sir. Please let me come. Can't...can't hold it—"
"You will,” he says before he’s grabbing hold of your wrist and hosting it above your head. Burying into the pillow and preventing you from reaching for your clit. “Forget it, Princess. Told you to take me. So you will. Exactly how I tell you.”
"Sir—"
"I said no. I plan to keep you here for quite some time. Plan to feel you coming around my cock as many times as I see fit. And I expect you to behave for me the way you promised. Can you do that? Or do I need to stop?"
"No," you gasp, tears springing to your eyes at the very thought. "No, no, please—"
"Then what are you going to do?"
You swallow a moan and lift your chin proudly. "Take it."
A pleased smile crawls across his face as he hums and dips down to press his mouth to yours. "There she is," he murmurs, nipping at your bottom lip. "My good girl. Try to remember that, yeah? Or I'll keep you here all day."
However, that’s something else you wouldn't exactly mind, and you shiver as he pushes your knee into your chest.
"Fucking hell, Dot," he mumbles, eyes falling back down to where you're coating his cock. "Oh, my perfect toy. Look at the way you treat me, honey. Treat me so well, fucking soaking me, aren't you—"
"Yes, Yes, please…"
"I know. I know, little one. Feels so good to be filled, yeah? To be fucked the right way—"
"God, yes. More...please—"
"More, huh? Need more? Need me to make it better? Need me to fucking take—"
Suddenly, your phone rings.
The soft, melodic chime cuts through Harry’s vulgar response, bringing the moment to a close as his thrusts falter and he glances over.
God, you hate that stupid, evil, sadistic machine. Right now, you wish you'd never bought it. You wish you could throw it again the wall until it shatters into a thousand fucking pieces so as long as he just keeps going.
Instead, he searches your nightstand for the small device before he's releasing your leg in order to reach for it.
"No, Har," you plead, attempting to grab onto his hand. "Just let it go to voicemail, it's fine—"
"But that wouldn't be very polite, now, would it?" he tuts, glancing over the screen. "And I think you need to take this, darling."
"Harry, please—"
"Shh," he says sharply. “You're gonna take this phone call and you're gonna use your word. And then, and you're gonna come for me."
His thumb hovers over the green button and he guides the phone to your ear.
"And you're not gonna make a fucking sound," he adds, dropping his voice to a threatening hiss before pressing the receiver to your ear. "Or I fucking stop. Do you understand?"
You do your best to nod, and he smiles before tapping the screen.
Through a slight quiver, you say, "Hello?"
"Hey! Long time no talk, babe. How are you?"
Your eyes just about pop out of your head.
Atta.
Her cheerful tone and eager greeting make the blood drain from your face as you look up at the man hovering above you.
"Speak," he mouths with a wicked grin while nodding his chin at you.
But you can't. You physically cannot get the words to come out of your mouth as Harry keeps the device glued to the side of your head.
"H...hi," you stammer, forcing a more confident cadence. "I'm...good. How...how are you?"
"Oh, I'm good. Good, yeah," your sister replies, and you hear a bit of shuffling. "Been working a lot. Got today off, which is nice. God, you'd never believe how much shit we have to go through since we changed our filing system—"
"Mhm," you reply right as Harry rams his hips into yours.
You gasp and quickly turn your head away from the phone in an attempt to keep the excitable noise from making it into the microphone.
However, he uses his other hand to grasp onto your jaw and force you back. "No," he whispers, shooting you a stern look of warning. "You know better."
"—which is wild because we've been using the same program since '08," Atta is saying, although you can hardly hear her over the imminent pleasure rushing through your veins. "But...whatever. Once we're done, it'll make things so much easier. Which will be nice. I can cut back on my hours—"
"Yeah, mhm," you repeat, and it's outrageously strained as Harry pulls himself out, leaving you depraved and so goddamn empty.
You have to fight the urge to cry out for him, glancing down at the string of arousal that follows his cock. And it's almost too much for you to handle as you greedily reach for him once more.
However, he bats your hands away and brings his free fingers from your chin to your clit, rubbing into the sensitive nerves until you arch up.
"—so, yeah. What about you?"
Your eyes squeeze shut as that tightly wound ball of pleasure in your stomach expands. "I'm...I...good. I'm...good. You know, not...not a lot going on. At the moment."
Harry smirks to himself before sinking all the way back in and thrusting up.
Your lip fights its way between your teeth and you writhe beneath his chest while praying for the strength to stay quiet.
"Well...I guess no news is good news, yeah?" she chuckles. "Oh, hey, speaking of which...I heard that Harry's in town."
That's not the only thing he's in.
"Oh?" you squeak, placing a palm on Harry's chest almost as if in retaliation. "He is?"
"Yeah. Saw it on Facebook," she answers, and you hear her move around. "Figured he might try to reach out. I know you guys are still on good terms, right?"
"Me and Harry?" you repeat pointedly, garnering a curious look from the aforementioned man. "Uh...we're...yeah. I guess. But we’re not…that close."
He grins.
"Well...I just thought I'd let you know in case he does," she says, and your lashes flutter shut as the guilt begins to find you.
"Would it be weird...if he did?" you ask before the patterns being traced against your clit make you whimper.
Terrified, you quickly cough in an attempt at burying the sound, but Atta doesn't seem to hear.
"I mean...maybe? I don't know. He and I are fine, I think. And I know you two were friends. I guess you could at least...check on him. Make sure he's doing okay."
"Yeah," you breathe, sneaking a glance up. "I'm...I'm sure he's doing just fine."
Harry smiles once more before moving his palm to your thigh and pressing it into the bed to spread you at a different angle.
"I hope," Atta sighs. "Anyway, I wanted to call and check in. Just to make sure everything is going okay for you—"
"Mhm, yeah. I'm...I'm glad you did," you blubber while attempting to send Harry a pointed look. You're close. So fucking close, and if he keeps going...
"Are you sure you're all right? You sound a bit flustered—"
"Yes. Yes, yes, I'm..." Your head shakes quickly, nails scratching down Harry's chest in warning. He needs to stop. He needs to stop or you won't make it. "I'm fine. I'm...a little under the weather, but I'm—"
Suddenly, he sheathes himself inside your cunt, face burying in your neck with a groan as your entire body shivers.
"Are you sure? You kind of sound like you're in pain—"
"Listen, Atta, I...I gotta go—" you gasp, so close to your orgasm that you can practically taste it. “I’m sorry—”
"Oh, yeah. Hey, text me, okay? Just let me know that you're all right—"
"Mhm, yeah, I will—fuck—"
It happens before you can stop it. Ripping through every muscle and fiber in your body as you rake your fingers down Harry's back and choke on a moan.
Thankfully for you, Harry has already ended the call and thrown the phone to the other side of the room so he can loop his arm beneath your hips and tug you up into his body.
"Go," he breathes. "Give it to me. Come on, little one. Just like that. Good fucking girl, just like that. Let me feel you—"
Your room fills with the sound of his name, dancing effortlessly between the whimpers that follow.
It feels like you've touched heaven. A sensation so overwhelming and euphoric that you don't even realize his hand has returned to your throat. Don't realize he's squeezing your neck in his tight fist as he comes, filling your cunt with everything he has to give you.
You don't even realize you can't breathe, but you love it. Love the way he presses his teeth into your shoulder and presses his body into your chest. Until you're trapped against the mattress while you live through the high.
Every joint in your body aches. Radiating pain and pleasure all at once as you hook your leg over his hip and snake your arms around his neck.
And you keep him inside of you for what feels like hours. Even after you've regained a bit of consciousness. And a bit of common sense.
Perhaps the moment he pulls out, you'll realize the mistake you've made. You’ll realize that this isn't a secret you can keep. Or a choice that you can ever choose again. And maybe he’ll realize it, too.
But until then…
You’re happy to have your Harry back.
~ Masterlist
Taglist: @littlenatilda @prettythingsworld @heartateasee @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @monicaalexandraaa
@cinnamonone @triski73 @lemoncrushh @vamprry @lady-lamb21
@lillefroe @kirstiea05 @ribbonknives @lunaharrygurl @harringtonhundreds
@swiftmendeshoran @sundresstyles @eldahae @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs
@hannahdressedasabanana @sykostyles @lukesaprince @daphnesutton @love-letters-to-uranus
@lovrave @nuggetdean @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @babegoals @lc-fics
#harry#harry styles#harry edward styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles imagine#harry styles fan#harry styles smut#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles concept#harry styles one shot#smut#imagine#concept#harry styles writing#harry styles oneshot#dom!harry#softdom!harry#angst#agegap!harry#harry styles age gap#sister's ex!harry#harry and dot
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SWORN RIVALS
Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!Reader
Summary - Taking up sparring with your sworn rival is likely never a good idea.
Warnings - barely edited, blood, implied fighting, suggestive language but no real smut, likely ooc given that the episode hasn't even aired yet lmao
Word Count - 1.1k
!MINORS DNI!
// masterlist // send me your thoughts // comments & reblogs appreciated! //
Pain splinters throughout your hand as your knuckles collide with his jaw. He stumbles backwards—just barely managing to keep himself from falling right onto his ass.
“You fight like a girl,” you jeer, purposefully antagonizing him. “Though I suppose that’s to be expected of a Blackwood.”
A raspy laugh rumbles through Benjicot Blackwood’s chest—a bitter, deep sound that sets your toes curling.
“You’ve got quite a mouth on you.” Forcing his chin high, he flashes his crimson-stained teeth in a wry grin, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. He muses, “But perhaps we should put it to better use, don’t you think?”
You cut your eyes at the bawdy implication. “You’re disgusting, Ben.”
Another chuckle as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, inadvertently smearing blood along his bottom lip. The sight is entrancing—in a morbid sort of way. It glistens like pomegranate juice and, for a mere breath, you wonder if it would taste half as sweet.
“C’mon!” Ben’s teasing tone slices through your thoughts, forcing some sense back into you. “Don’t act like you’ve never thought of it before,” he says, waving a hand between you both, “the two of us–”
You don’t let him finish his sentence, cutting him off with a sharp glare. “I haven’t,” you practically snarl, taking a half-step towards him. “And you shouldn’t either,” you add, “I’d much prefer to be left out of your…" you blow out an exasperated breath, "depraved fantasies!”
“Oh, but you are my depraved fantasies, sweetheart.” Ben’s grin widens as you groan, shaking your head at him. “You're also a liar, Bracken,” he adds, “and a shitty one, at that!”
“You can believe whatever you want, Blackwood—but that won't make it true.”
“Just admit it,” he continues. Swinging one foot forward, he takes a lazy step towards you—then another. “That’s why you train with me, isn’t it? ‘Cause you’re so desperate for someone to put you in your place—and none of those pansies along the Red Fork are fit for the task, are they?”
You grit your teeth, knowing that his words aren’t entirely false.
Training with Ben hadn’t necessarily been a purposeful decision. It was something that just sort of happened. Yet, in spite of the rivalry between your families, you’re willing to admit that you do prefer training with him over the Tully or Roote boys.
He fought you like a true opponent—unlike the others, who felt the need to pull their punches or slow their own strikes, forever treating you like a helpless maiden rather than an equal.
In many ways, you found Ben to be more tolerable than any other boy in the Riverlands, anyway. He was fierce and tough and undeniably skilled with both blade and fists, making him your ideal sparring partner.
You still despise him, though—if only because that is what’s expected of you by your father, the Head of House Bracken.
“Big talk from the boy who hasn’t gotten a single hit in today,” you smugly remind him. “Perhaps if you spent as much time training as you do thinking with your cock, you might actually stand a chance at victory, Benji.”
Less than a foot-or-so of space separates the two of you when he finally stops, his grin souring like rotted fruit.
“Don’t call me that,” he chides, his bottom lip jutting slightly. Your brow furrows, trying to discern if he’s pouting or if it’s simply swelling from when you hit him. “Besides,” Ben continues, “have you ever considered that maybe I’m just going easy on you?”
You don’t buy his weak attempt at goading you—though you do entertain it, asking, “And why would you do that?”
His shoulder lifts into a languid shrug. “Maybe I like it when you push me around,” he drawls, teasing.
Another step and he’s towering over you, his chest mere inches from yours. His scent—a blend of leather and rich sandalwood—floods your nostrils, stirring your senses and leaving you dizzy.
“Although,” Ben’s smirk returns, laden with his usual mischief, “I think I’d like you even more if you were on your knees-”
A scoff rips from your throat, cutting him off with a rough swat to his chest. “Oh, go fuck yourself, Blackwood!”
“Only if you’ll watch, Bracken,” he croons, mocking you.
Every inch of your body is suddenly humming to life, an unrelenting blaze of rage—or was it desire?—setting your nerves alight. Before you can muster a response, a comeback, his fingers have closed around one of your wrists.
“Go on,” Ben murmurs, his voice tantalizingly low. Your breath hitches as he presses your hand to his chest, feeling his pulse beat beneath your palm. “Hit me,” he dares, louder now. “Push me.”
You don’t speak—don’t move, as those storm-cloud eyes dip once again. “Fucking do it—”
You cut him off, fingers curling around the scarlet fabric of his tunic—you should kill him for being so crude, for acting so utterly lascivious!
And yet, despite all logic and reason, you tug him closer. Pulling him down to your level in one swift motion, crashing your lips together in a kiss that is anything but soft.
On instinct, your other hand slips to the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in soft, brown hair. You feel his heartbeat stutter beneath your fist, still gripping his tunic. For no more than a breath, you worry you’ve fucked this whole thing up.
This is wrong! You scream at yourself. Wrong wrong wrong!
But then he moves—hooking an arm around your waist, his nails sinking into your hip in an effort to bring you closer—and you loathe just how right this feels.
Your legs tremble as his tongue slides along your lower lip, a soft moan spilling into his mouth. You feel him grin against you—can taste the blood on his lips, the bitter sweetness dancing on your tongue as he utters, “Eager, are we?”
Tightening your grip on his hair, he hiss slips from his teeth. “Shut up.”
He obliges—his mouth drifting from your lips to your jaw, leaving a bloody trail of kisses in his wake. You try not to think as he finally reaches your neck, earning a soft whine as he nips at your flesh. You try to forget who he is—that you’re supposed to hate him—as he shoves his leg between yours, offering you the very friction you so desperately desired.
“This changes nothing, Benji,” you pant.
He bristles at the nickname, letting his teeth sink deeper into your flesh, a deep bruise already blooming along your neck. “Sure." His own breathing is frantic and uneven as he rasps, “Whatever you say..”
Your hand falls from his chest to his breeches, fingers already fumbling with the laces when you choke out, “I still think you’re disgusting, Blackwood.”
His own touch disappears beneath your tunic, fingertips trailing along every inch of your skin until his palms finally skim along your bare breasts. He gives one a rough squeeze before flashing that stupid, bloody grin of his.
“And you’re still a liar, Bracken.”
a/n - writing fan fic for a character that hasn't even appeared on screen yet is wild. (hbo, this better be bloody ben or else I'll riot because this is perfect casting). anyway, I don't wanna be held accountable for how terrible, short, and rushed this is (I was bored and didn't feel like putting more effort into this than necessary rn) OR how wildly ooc this will likely prove to be come Sunday.
also---turns out that writing without actually knowing the character is hard! who'd have thunk, am I right?
#hotd imagine#house of the dragon imagine#ben blackwood imagine#benjicot blackwood#benjicot blackwood imagine#bloody ben imagine#bloody ben#ben blackwood#ben blackwood x reader#benjicot blackwood x reader#bloody ben x reader#benji blackwood#hotd x reader#house of the dragon x reader#house of the dragon fanfic#hotd imagines#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#ben blackwood imagines
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he's a ten but he...
premise. sometimes certain bad habits of theirs make their overall rating just a tad bit lower—besides the fact that they keep doing it.
characters. dorm leaders
content. gender neutral reader
malleus (doesn't have a sense of space)
"look beastie, that flower is a native of ours,"
"I agree mal, but I didn't think you taking up the entirety of my seat will make me see it better,"
he blinks, then shrugs.
like i said, has NO sense of space.
if an average person would make an excuse to constantly be in physical contact with who they admire, then malleus is the complete opposite. well, not entirely but he doesn't even bother to construct an explanation as to why he's literally sat over your seat when you coincidentally get put in a table together.
if you start questioning him about it the most you'll get in a very outright 'because he wanted to.' it's not even one of those sarcastic replies he's 100% serious!
cause he believes there's no use in lying about things to be honest.. to further emphasize that, if he ever acts like he does hold fondness for you that surpasses the platonic meter but doesn't mention it he probably hasn't realized yet.
if he did he'd already walk over and bluntly tell you about it.
(I wish I could be that unbothered.)
lilia thinks it's the cutest thing though. you swear you see flashes of light for a split second from the ceiling but when you look up there's only a suspicious swinging chandelier.
^ totally has his own album full of pictures.
if malleus ever discovers it he won't even be disturbed, probably would ask for a copy 💯
since human lives, and their bodies are so fragile he'd taken it upon himself to protect you from harm. even if it means trailing behind you everywhere way too close for comfort, or standing a bees wing away.
while he is respectful most of the time, he's encouraged if you don't comment. if anything, he seems pleased you dont seem to be bothered! (and it'll get harder to tell him to stop when he's so happy the more you let it happen..)
"child of man, have you slept?"
*starts leaning his body forward, to squint at your eyes.* practically right in front of your face.
"WTF."
not even a warning or anything! but atleast he's concerned?
idia (won't even show up for anything and insists a 'virtual' date is better.')
user: where tf r u??
ghoul666: WDYM? at the dorm?
user: IVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 20 MINUTES
unintentionally stood you up 💀
you literally have to tell him that you're waiting for him to arrive at the specified area you discussed where your date would take place but would end up vastly irritated when he questions if you guys even did.
ghoul666: we do??
user: I'm taking my minecraft bed away from urs.
ghoul666: NO PLS
ghoul666: HELLO????
next time you log in minecraft it's probably because he begged you to play, you WILL end up seeing some kind of structure that probably took days to make. that's not even the entire thing cause the inside is entirely decorated to your taste.
in short: he constructed some kind of venue for a wedding.. even changed his skin to wear a tuxedo 😭
though he has sparked your pettiness, hence the ignoring him period. even you have got to admit that it's freaking adorable...
big sign, emphasis on please: Im sorry pls put ur minecraft bed back I can't sleep w/o u and I have to wait entire days for it to turn into morning :(
with what he's built you're sure it's 65% true.
if you do end up forgiving him, few weeks later attempting to schedule another date will only end up in naught.
ghoul666: can we not go there
user: 😐
user: you are testing my patience love
ghoul666: 😓 (he is screeching about the term of endearment part btw KABSJAJSAJA ortho would enter his room very concerned.)
ghoul666: how abt
ghoul666: mimic together? call
user: sighs
user: I'm only agreeing cause I want to spend time with you
queue more screeching from his end that you're completely oblivious to.
the only screeching you're gonna hear though is when you guys do get into call as you play, and it's mainly out of terror when his soul gets sent to the void ascending when the entity pops out of a corner and starts chasing him.
"I GOT THIS. ILL CARRY U THIS IS FINE" *screams again* but really wants to impress you so he pushes through.
unsurprisingly does carry you.
asks to match avatars right after (idia love languange)
vil (frets over you way too much.)
"vil, did you see the chocolate in the freezer?"
"oh, that? I noticed that you've already gone through the ideal number of bars this week so I took it upon myself to make sure you don't go sick on me,"
"I love you but please give it back—"
"I love you too, and no."
disclaimer: he does this for your own good 😜 (average mom excuse.)
looks out for you more than he does for his own dorm residents. everyone is wondering where he ran off to after class, especially since he's the one that scheduled the pomefiore meeting every fridays!
and to think he was the one getting irritated over the more newer first years for being late..
*shows up literally half an hour in*
why you ask? you simply shouldn't have texted him about abandoning your daily walk together through the gardens in favor of catching sleep since you called in sick (you're suspicious if crewel really did go in to check for proof, and not concern.)
vil's really feeling the absolute regret of not checking his phone during classes.. well, he only saw the message which was coincidentally sent like somehow ONE minute after the lecture started and he's only seeing it 59 minutes later.
oh you poor thing!! though the lunch break is short, he has about 5 minutes for a trip to the mirror chamber..
you'd think the 'seen' icon below your message was a weird omen for something you're not sure but it must be doom cause vil is right at the front porch of your crappy dorm. at his own expense?! looking more disheveled than you've seen him before.
if a few stray hairs was disheveled at all. more importantly, he still looked drop dead gorgeous!
you probably looked quite terrible with the blanket draped around your shoulders looking like you just crawled out of your grave, because he looked absolutely mortified at your state.
"oh great sevens.." he looked like he was faint, huffing and fanning himself with his hand. "look at you, why didn't you tell me sooner, darling?"
you blink, swallowing to make your throat less dry but your voice still comes out raspy. "I did, like an hour ago—" without your invitation whatsoever, he steps in. promptly shutting the door behind him (which surprisingly still stands sturdy.)
vil takes a hold of your shoulders before reaching his hands upwards to tilt your face around. "you should have sent earlier," he says. you keep in the comment that you were sleeping during it, and you told him about it during second period so.. "your face is so pale."
you sigh.
"yeah, I just saw. I know, I look hideous right now."
vil frowns at you, stopping to angle your face at him. "don't ever say that. I always find you beautiful even if you are.." he glances at you from face to toe, then back up. "sickly."
"... I feel offended."
"hmph, shush now. let me draw you a bath then I know something that will boost your system."
after much coaxing in his end, you reluctantly take a warm bath in the hopefully hygienic bathroom. true to his word, vil did... concoct something. though it looked pretty the random steam that flew from it was really suspicious.
the residents don't dare to question, except rook of course. who already knew what transpired! :)
epel: 😃 (atleast vil wasn't around.)
"roi du poison~ tell me, tell me! is the trickster well? have you cured them with your love?"
"rook, you have 5 seconds to get out of my face."
rook giggles away.
kalim (thinks money will buy anything, including your forgiveness.)
"here!" there's a suspiciously bright smile on his face as he hands you.. some keys?
you deadpan, jingling it in your hands. it weighs heavy than the average, probably because of the fact that it's literally made of gold. "... kalim what is this?" you emit a sigh, from suspicion and concern.
"a gift!"
"wait why does it say lot 111--"
as you can already, that was an actual, literal house. which you imagine would probably be a lots more grand, and new compared to your old baby ramshackle.
but you do love it despite it's love for falling apart at the most inconvenient of times..
fighting with kalim was rare but it was hard to even argue with him because the notion of disagreements are so bizarre to him that he unintentionally doesn't treat you seriously with your concerns, accidentally downplaying them aaaand now you're upset.
after the ranting to jamil about how you must be busy with a lot, since you haven't even talked to him in the past 2 days. all it took was a side glance to his friend in denial and jamil immediately knew.
"what do you mean they're mad!? D:"
"just.. go apologize, I don't want to get caught up in this."
if his definition of an apology is buying you an entire house...
( ^ it is btw.)
kalim really doesn't mean any harm. he just really wants to sate whatever anger you held for him <- maybe he's overthinking it but it's kalim so he's 99% sure it's his fault! even though it hasn't even been confirmed from your end he'd probably accept it whole heartedly.
he wanted you to talk to him again so badly that he wouldn’t mind showering you with houses... since your living situation doesn't live up to your kindness (sorry ramshackle love u xx)
you know what. he wouldn't even notice he's the reason you're upset at first even though he's been asking around on who put you in that mood. despite himself being the perpetrator but he didn't really know that did he?
the only reason he does is because he assumed you were just because you avoided him like some sort of.. cockroach! (he dislikes those.) and he couldn't take it anymore.
was probably 1 sec away from barging into your dorm which wouldn't take a lot of effort since one ram to the door would probably break it.
bless jamil for jailing all the carpets so kalim doesn't find them.
even if said carpets fling him off when he's riding them.
"kalim, why would you buy a literal house... and you also got a rare address paid--"
"for them! ;D"
"... you do know they'd be more offended by the fact that you'd try to replace that.., ahem. dorm, right?"
"oh... should I buy them a vehicle then?"
you only promise to forgive him once he takes back the keys, and the house entirely...
(grim begged you to keep it, 'house for him apparently.')
azul (keeps trying to offer you discounts thinking it's a good excuse to have you over.)
"I assure you. you'll find no deal better than this."
"I'm not even that hungry for sea food, actually I'm craving some--"
"you're in luck then! ahem, it's 26% off due to a special event for today."
pro tip: keep insisting to eat at other places cause he's gonna keep increasing the discount by 2% until you eventually relent. once, you made him go to the point of 75% off, it's almost hilarious if not for the fact it only worked once.
now he won't go last 50!
ahem. if you look closely you can almost spot tiny cracks accumulating with each denial you respond with, and each increase of his discount. he's grown to be wary about the bullshit 'lucky' promos you just happen to stumble on.
last time you did he practically lost a week's worth of the presumed income he's predicted cause you actually went around and told your first year friends about it... who.. in turn told some, other friends of theirs about it and you could guess.
love must hurt.. and unfortunately it's his wallet wailing.
but azul is not so easily swayed by this! for you have swayed him first! *wink wonk*
but azul has another trick up his sleeve... keeping on roping jade and floyd into it; whom are far too enthusiastic cause finally— something fun to do! someone to bother! not only have you got the most stubborn octopus having frequent suspicious 'deals' but here are his equally suspicious lackeys.
who keeps.. talking about fried octopus..
yeah, you're not sure if preaching about azul’s species is the job they were assigned.
they're fairly easy to point in the right direction anyways. the tweels have always associated you with the word 'fun' so just a little, friendly suggestion from and they were off to their merry way. mortifying every single person you come across with their sudden attachment.
one of their tricks? following you around. and just somehow, every single place you enter is just mysteriously full even though you peered inside and there was like 7 tables empty. what are they hosting? ghosts? spirits?
...
they do look like they've seen some though..
jade rn: "a shame indeed, you must be hungry. why don't we escort you back to monstro lounge?" :)
long story short you can't even reply cause the sleek eel is already guiding you around by the use of his hands on your shoulders. just to make sure you don't stray away from the destination, he says.
"didn't you say that yesterday's promo was like, a one day thing?" you quirk a brow, and you almost fool yourself into thinking he flinched.
azul clears his throat. "well—today is.. the month before you've graced octavinelle with your assistance—"
he praises himself for his quick thinking.
COME ON! it doesn't matter if you're sick of eating stir fried shrimp, or the butter one, or every single dish they serve that includes shrimp! (also do not mention that you ate somewhere else before you just decide to visit his dorm because that establishment just mysteriously got filed a non-legal business report.)
then you've got floyd chasing you around with a fork. which is more terrifying because he's holding it in a notion that would seem like he'd just stab down at you when he catches up with your little goose chase.
it's just.. you're not sure if your stomach could take another bite of the poor food he stabbed into, and is now chasing you around with.
you screech. "JADE PLEASE."
the man shrugs. "it's a free taste."
"AZUL."
"... only on a condition of course."
frankly. it took all the balls he had to actually sputter out the most simplest sentence ever, cause during the time he rehearsed that in front of his mirror it just plagued him with embarrassment but he's getting desperate.
'I'd like to take you out to dinner, somewhere else of course.'
actually, maybe obliterating any possible craving for the food of his lounge just might've been part of his plans to ask you out..?
leona (prevents you from actually being productive via dragging you down to 'nap' every. single. time.)
"I will literally fail if you don't let go of me right now."
"hmph. so what? it's not like failing a grade killed anyone."
"leona just because you've lived through a lot of fails doesn't mean I have to, we're not all rich enough to not finish school."
to which he'd retaliate that all you'd need is to marry him and you'd be set for life.
there is no winning an argument with leona when it comes to his naps. if he states that you're to be next to him as he sleeps, its final. no buts, no retaliations, cause apparently they're all invalid according to him even if you drag him to court.
rhetorically of course, that if its a comical court scene his only statements are; 'well you're wrong', 'who cares', and 'i dont care'. one way or another he's still gonna win you over and now you're fit snugly in his arms, lamenting.
and if crowley chastises you for not doing the errands (via leona's common interference.) the only thing you need to honestly do is to complain to leona about it and suddenly crowley has the kindness to forgive you for your 'laziness' then says something about enjoying your time together?
leona's work no doubt.
you suppose he does has its perks. even if most of it isn't exactly ideal.
if you're being smart then you should give him an ultimatum or something, or bribe him. but... that really has no guarantee to work either cause you're ending up defeated, or just defeated and flustered since he's somehow unconsciously flirty.
at the end of the day you can't really hate him cause the following day you find out he sent an already sleep deprived ruggie to do your work. 'so you can shut your fussing up and let me enjoy you.' he says, and you quote.
it goes something like;
"if i finish my work i'll stick by you all day."
a stready flow of confidence keeps your voice firm as you glower down at the blank-faced leona sat on the grass. he merely tilts his head, raising a brow at you and seemingly pondering from the way his eyes fly to the sky.
you'd think that maybe your plan actually worked but he merely grunts and flops backwards, holding the back of his head with his palms as he laid. and! he ignores you.
...this little greedy man... "why should i care whether or not you finish your work?" he huffs, like the evil, arrogant spawn he is but you can't really defend yourself cause said evil spawn bewitched you so much that you actually still like him.
"because you care about me?"
"...fine," he scowls, releasing a breath you'd mistake for irritation. "then, do you really think i need you to finish your work when i can just keep you right here?"
you sulk. "i'll do anything you want?"
he deadpans as if you said something stupid. "i don't need you to anything else but sit still and be pretty."
...
...
see what i mean about him eventually winning you over? yeah.
next morning there's a rebellion in savanaclaw about overworked residents and ruggie is the head of them.
"he said that he doesn't need you today." <- ruggie, steering you away.
"really?" <- you, confused
riddle (overthinks TOO HARD.)
“I'm just a little busy.”
“I understand,” riddle says.
“I'm just a little busy.” he understands.
“a little busy.” its just… a small thought…
“I'm just busy.” his mind is a hazard at this point.
for someone as supposedly maintained as riddle—you'd think his mind is as composed as it is organized. like the pens you'd perfectly align in correlation to order of colors, or the neat pile of clothing folded neatly, tucked in some corner in your closet that is farther in since it's used less.
that's just how he is, or at least seems to be. a bundle of organized thoughts, every thought connected to another. a mind too clean to be going on haywire (when he isn't in a particular mood, that is.)
you're just busy. he thinks. you said it yourself, with that agonizingly nice smile that must be sprinkled with some kind of spell from the way it just eradicated all the protests in his throat upon sight. he isn't one to question it, he wants to help but not if you don't ask.
he can only stare with resigned acceptance at your insomnia induced eyes.
but when the curtain of darkness befalls night raven college, even in the comfort of heartslabyul is he still thinking about that thought–and he can’t help but wonder; why exactly are you busy? its not that he’s suddenly hyper aware of your lack of presence since you’ve been attached to the hip the previous week and now you’re just.
…busy…
riddle likes to think of himself as a level-headed, private person. like the boy he raised himself to be and therefore proud of. but its way past 10AM. which is usually the time he sleeps, and let me tell you that he’s never once broke the cycle for years. yet here he is, a frown of frustration present on his face as he wills his mind to sleep.
somehow closing his eyes felt forced, he immediately snapped them open once his mind decides to conjure an image of you even in the darkness his lids offers.
“THIS IS ABSURD.”
and the yell promptly woke up the entire dorm from the ferocity of his scream. (and of course gave them the flashback of their year.)
that night was one of the worst he’s ever had because he woke up with red rimmed eyes and a pounding headache that ensured his bad mood the rest of the day.
everyone noted to steer clear.
and he unknowingly steered clear of yours since you were ‘busy.’
“why are you sulking?” a voice queried, spoken as though they were eating something as they asked. a reprimand rises in his throat, but it all just dies down once his sharp eyes settle on you, slipping into the seat in front of him then raising a brow and the traces of irritation practically evaporates from his eyes.
he feels the need to cough–so he does. “i’m– i’m not.” he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes but still sneaking in glances, something he notes is that you’re still looking everytime he does. (and boring an unimpressed face because he knows you don’t believe him at all.)
guilt rises in his mind, because he feels a slither of annoyance and its the presence of pettiness that bothers him. riddle knows you’re not at fault, just his mind at convincing that you just somehow decided in the span of a day that you might not like him anymore–so he can’t help the bite.
“why are you here?” a glance not intended to look mean.
“i thought you were busy.” he adds.
your brows raise, he spots your teeth holding your lips back from showing your grin and he feels warm. “what?” he hisses defensively, despite you not even having replied to him yet.
he leans backwards, straightening up in his seat when your chin leans forward, resting on your intertwined fingers. you flash him a smile.
“mr. rosehearts, are you perhaps… sulking because i’m busy?”
“no!”
silence.
“no.” he repeats, weaker.
“well,” you continue, beaming. “i heard from ace that you were awake the entire night, and that you kept him awake too. are you alright?”
he sputters. “it wasn’t because of you!”
you snort. “i didn’t even say anything about me.”
so you incline to following riddle around, poking fun at him and still trailing after the seemingly enraged red head because despite his angry protests, demanding you to go away because you’re annoying he keeps glancing back to see if you’ll follow,
so cute…….
#ㅤ◜◡◝ . . signed !#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland scenarios#twst fluff#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil shoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#riddle x reader#azul x reader#kalim x reader#malleus x reader#idia x reader#leona x reader#vil x reader#gn reader
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Where he would propose and how it happens [Genshin Men]
Warnings: haven’t written in a while please excuse and tell me about pronoun slips, I’m sleep deprived, not proofread (this will be my fixed disclaimer as a writing parent, haha)
Notes: All of these were captured by me in game. I just felt like exploring the beauty of Genshin more and this was a great way to do it while mixing it with writing. Note that you may not agree with some of these, and that's totally fine, these are my thoughts and ideas :)
Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Venti, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader
Aether
Aether is a simple man, and though he plans his proposal he doesn't really think much of the place, somewhere where the two of you frequent, maybe on your daily/nightly walks.
It happens just as the two of you are about to go back, this is where you sit and relax for a while as the sun sets. You can see Mondstadt in the distance and the beautiful orange sky.
As you're about to turn and walk away he catches your wrist and pulls you back into the middle of those tiny pink flowers.
Now that he thinks about it... This is where his journey really started: Starfell Lake, and how perfect would it be to start a new one with you?
"Y/N, I...want you to stay. I mean, forever," the words are simple but it gets across.
Albedo
Also a simple person. You might think Dragonspine when you think Albedo and I agree that all that snow could be romantic but I went for Starsnatch Cliff. It's a good place to see Mondstadt, and he takes you there after the sun has set.
He would probably comment about how you can see a lot of things from here, and how the world is such a great, vast place, full of things to explore and discover.
"...and yet I find myself thinking... how all that I want is right next to me. Would you do me the honour of being my lifelong partner?"
Alhaitham
Something's up and you can tell, this isn't your usual route home, and honestly you've never stopped in these parts of the city. You've passed by it sure, but never with Alhaitham.
You ask him where the two of you are going and if there are some extra errands to run before going home. He only shakes his head and ends up leading you over right next to the glowing Padisarah flower.
He HAS planned this, so why does it feel like he hasn't? Even has a ring in his pocket (granted it is the SIMPLEST ring one could ever imagine, that's just how he is)
Ends up just taking the ring box out and showing it to you while trying to speak "I..." doesn't speak much of his emotions so has a hard time, but feels pathetic afterwards so meets your eyes straight on. "...A promise... That what I feel for you... is everlasting,"
Ayato
That small shrine/garden/sitting area just outside the Kamisato Estate. It's just a bit more private than the sitting area INSIDE the estate.
You wouldn't think anything of it because you do hang out here from time to time.
Ayato might seem like a grand person but in the end he doesn't want to stray far from home.
"I'm...sorry if this is a bit abrupt," fishes out a ring box from his long sleeve. "I've been meaning to ask for a while now, will you share your life with me as my beloved?"
Baizhu
That nice little hill just outside of Bubu Pharmacy, where you can find Glaze Lilies strewn about and the night view is quite nice. It's a place the two of you go just to get some quick, fresh air if Baizhu isn't feeling too well. Changsheng is left at the pharmacy from time to time, this is one of those times.
"I've been thinking...how precious time really is," he looks at you with tenderness in his eyes, yet a lot of uncertainty shrouded in them. "I don't know where this road will lead me... but you alone are my lifelong remedy. Would you accompany me on this journey?"
Cyno
Cyno often comes here to watch the sun set, since he was a student, but he does think it's more beautiful at night.
The two of you are leaning over the railway and looking at Sumeru, just talking about the day.
Cyno doesn't really plan it. He seems to be the type to but when he feels that it's the right time, specially when he feels it strongly, there's no better time than the present.
It's while he's watching you talk enthusiastically about your day, that there's a sudden twist in his heart. This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
"Y/N--" he cuts you off successfully, wonder in his eyes. "What do you say to being intertwined for life?"
Dainsleif
Anywhere where there is an unobstructed view of the stars and night sky, but particularly at the hill of Cape Oath, where the two of you lie side by side on the grass, staring up at the stars.
At this point the two of you have been travelling together for a while, looking for answers to his curse. To Dainsleif, the two of you are pretty much married already, but just to confirm it, every night, he asks "Is this the path that you choose? To bind your fate with mine?"
And every night, like a promise, you say yes.
Diluc
Diluc doesn't stray far from home too. He prefers to stay close to his memories, no matter how painful they are.
He HAS planned it, but ends up proposing at an unexpected time.
It's when he's on the road home and you're waiting right by the lamp post for him. It's late. Later than usual and here you are worrying about how it's a cold night and that he should've worn more.
It's at that moment that it hits him, "Y/N, the thought of being separated...it's not something I'd want to imagine" he grips your hand tightly. "...For the rest of my life, it's you that I want to spend it with,"
Doesn't even have the planned ring on him and apologizes about the word vomit he just did. He was just overcome with emotions right then and there.
Gorou
That small spot next to Bourou Village. Watatsumi Island is beautiful in general, but Gorou knows the good spots.
Is nervous but tries not to show it, but you can totally tell because he's way too stiff.
"Wh-What do you mean? Nothing's wrong!" When asked if everything's fine.
When standing at this spot though, his nervousness seems to go away and for a minute everything is normal until... "H-Hey, Y/N, so..." you look at him and he's fumbling with his hands, unable to meet your gaze. "Y-You, and I--We've been...You know--"
Seems to panic. He is SO uncool right now. Closes his eyes and just blurts it out when he realizes this isn't working out "With all my heart, will you marry me?!"
Heizou
Little secret garden just next to Inazuma city. Quiet place yet you can hear a bit of the hustle and bustle in the city.
Heizou is the type to get on one knee and confidently, directly say it.
He's planned it, and gets you right in the middle of the bridge (has probably asked someone to take a photo as well)
"Y/N, beloved," grins "would you unravel the mysteries of life with me?" (thinks it was such a cool line, then hands you the ring in a box)
Itto
Does not think about it nor plans it. Just happens and it happens because he talks about it casually. You can't really tell if he's serious.
He has this conversation with you in Chinjuu Forest, which is a naturally beautiful place, but he's really only there with you to look for onikabuto.
"You know, it'd be really cool if we could keep doing this huh?"
You ask what he means cause you don't really have any idea. You guys have been doing this for ages. Why would it stop now, is what you think.
"I mean, like, you know, forever," he says this while looking under a rock. "Like if we were just onikabuto fightin' partners forever, get it?"
You stall for a moment and wonder if he knows what he's saying, and you ask if he specifically means he just wants you as an onikabuto fighting partner.
"Oh, well, yea it's ONE of the things I like about you, but I like your kisses too. Hehe," scratches the back of his head then looks like he gets a bright idea. "Oh hey that's an idea! How 'bout we just become partners for life, Y/N?"
Yeah, that's how it happens.
Kaeya
Kaeya keeps it simple, but also romantic. He gets that spot above the gate of Mondstadt, where you can see Barbatos' statue from a distance. He knows how much you love the city and he has a special place in his heart for it too.
The two of you pretty much keep each other warm up there, with him behind you and his arms wrapped around your shoulders.
At some point, as the two of you have been talking for ages and when the perfect silence descends, he leans into your ear and asks you to close your eyes. When you do, you feel him slip something onto your ring finger as he says "A thousand words wouldn't be enough to tell you how I really feel...Would you want to create a thousand and more memories together instead?"
Kaveh
Kaveh thinks its only appropriate to propose at his masterpiece, but he thinks you're even more of a masterpiece than anything he's made or encountered before.
Plus the place just holds a lot of meaning and memories for him. It's beautiful too and you've always said that you're proud of him for completing it.
His is a pretty simple proposal. "I've always thought that something's been missing in my life...I think I've figured out that it's you, Y/N. It's only going to be you,"
Kazuha
Inazuma holds a lot of memories for Kazuha, some that are rather unpleasant. But home is still home and perhaps he wanted to create more good memories there.
Truth be told he could have proposed to you anywhere, and I don't think he had really planned it. It was just something heartfelt that he wanted to say as he sees you climbing up the stairs to the shrine. The sunlight hitting you perfectly and the sakura blossoms just cascading around your form. It's perfect, he thought.
You're a few steps further up from him and it makes him look up at you the slightest bit. With a shine in his eyes and a smile on his face he asks, quite sincerely "Have you ever felt like home was right next to you, Y/N?"
and before you could answer he answers his own question first. "I have, despite the storms and catastrophes I've gone through...Y/N, you're the home that my heart forever needs,"
Lyney
Lyney plans it, but doesn't do it in a grand way. He just wants it to be sincere and special. He thinks this place is cute, what with the little sort of gazebo with a small sitting space to just sit and drink tea.
He proposes to you as the two of you sit, you've never been here before and wonder why the two of you are out here, actually.
"Oh, is it strange? Haha, I just wanted a bit of a change," Rubs the back of his neck and starts to feel nervous.
You explain that you're not complaining, just curious, but you like it!
"Oh, that's a relief. I'm...Uh..." sort of fumbles with something in his coat, really funny seeing as he's a magician and is supposed to be nimble with his fingers. Recovers quite fast and manages to do his classic "flower-behind-your-ear" trick and hands it over to you.
He does the same trick, but this time takes a ring out. "Y/N, you complete me in ways words can't express...will you..." gulps before he continues "marry me?"
Neuvillette
Seems very posh but prefers to keep it simple. He thinks its more special rather than making a super grand gesture. He could of easily proposed in front of the Opera Epiclese, but instead did it at one of the small fountains in Marcotte Station.
The two of you are out on a nightly stroll and this is just where the two of you ended up.
Clears his throat before starting, takes your hand in his, but its his eyes that really do the talking. "I may not be the best in expressing my deepest thoughts and emotions...but there is one single thing that I am quite sure about," he stalls here and seems to look into your soul.
"And it's you, my love. As I take my next steps into this life I lead, I would be honoured if I take them with you by my side,"
Scaramouche
Has it on his mind but doesn't particularly plans when or where he's going to say it. Just knows that he wants to.
While out on an assignment the two of you pass by Mawtiyima Forest. You've always thought it looked like such a magical place. You request to sit on a hill for a bit before moving on.
Scaramouche, as usual, grumbles about this but relents and ends up plopping next to you as well. Truth be told he also liked this particular forest and how quiet yet vibrant it was.
No words are exchanged for a while, just the two of you looking at the view. Scaramouche sneaks a glance at you and you have that stupid, wide eyed look on your face, the glowing blue mushrooms reflecting off of your eyes.
He secretly thinks its cute.
He shows that by aggressively saying. "I don't know what you had in mind when you agreed to come with me, but you're stuck with me till the end now, got it?"
Yes. That's pretty much his proposal.
Tartaglia
Is one who would take you on a vacation off on an isolated, quaint and cute island like Petrichor with wonderful views of Fontaine's waterfalls.
Is the type to get down on one knee while this beautiful background is in sight. Totally plans it and is the cliche, basic proposal. Would totally love the townspeople to clap and cheer while this is happening too.
"Y/N, every day spent with you is a treasure, and I want it to continue for the rest of my life, will you marry me?"
Thoma
Has planned it. Makes sure you have a good time beforehand, probably at some festival and it's when the two of you are winding down, sitting on that rock with the lamp on it that he asks.
"Isn't it magical?" he asks as a starter and you ask what exactly he's talking about. "How it's always a good time and how easy life seems when I'm with you,"
You tell him that's because he always takes good care of you and he laughs heartily at that. "I'm glad to hear it," kisses your forehead and smiles down at you.
"Every day, Y/N, I just fall deeper in love with you...Do you think, maybe, we could spend our whole lives together?"
Tighnari
Plans it and is calm about it. Has everything under control. He chose Pardis Dhyai specifically for its aesthetics and specifically the inside in case it rains. (He doesn't want you to get wet as he proposes, but also doesn't want his ears and tail wet as it happens.)
Clears his throat before he starts, doesn't have a ring because he just doesn't seem the type, for him its more of a pact.
"Rather than talk about emotions alone, I'd want to highlight that you've been quite the mind-stimulating study partner," coughs into his hand "but of course, that's only one aspect of you that I like...it's safe to say that I like you enough to propose the pact of marriage...would that be alright with you?"
Venti
Where else would he think was a good place to propose? Of course he would do it here.
No roundabout way of saying it. Confident in all aspects, partly because he's a God but partly because...what has he got to lose, really?
Doesn't really propose marriage cause...he's not a mortal. Forever might be a thing for him but maybe not for you.
"It's been a while since I've felt really at ease with someone, you know?"
You jokingly say he seems to be at ease with everyone, specially after a few bottles of wine. He laughs out loud at that, and remarks back that no one can make him laugh the way you do.
"It's blossomed into something more beautiful than I thought it would be, Y/N. You, me, and us. Can we stay like this till the end?"
Wriothesley
Has planned it and has stuck to his plan. At a little vacation home at the Southeast of the Beryl Region. The two of you spent a few days relaxing there, under the guise that Wriothesley needed a break.
On the last day he surprised you by revealing that he had asked your family and friends, both from faraway regions and nearby towns to come and celebrate with the two of you.
Celebrate what, you ask.
That's when he gets down on one knee and pops the question "You know, I could still be mistaken," he grins at this but is clearly joking. "but I don't think I am and seeing as you've put up with me, Y/N, I think it's safe to say you're my forever person,"
It was days after when you realize how confident he is of this whole thing when you think about the fact that he had pre planned to invite all your friends and family over to "celebrate"
Xiao
Also a person who doesn't stray far from home. The rooftop of Wangshu Inn is actually quite romantic on quiet nights, with a view of Liyue and a gentle breeze.
To Xiao, marriage isn't really about a ring and signing papers. It's a contract and a promise to each other.
On one of the nights, he just thinks it's the right time to say it.
He's more quiet than usual and you ask if something's wrong.
He pauses for a while before answering. "...Apologies, there's a lot on my mind..."
Xiao has become a lot more open with you through the years.
"...I... just wanted to propose the prospect of being...binded together," you ask what that means cause you're not really familiar, you end up asking if that's the same as marriage.
"M-Marriage? Uh... Yes... I suppose that's what mortals call it... but being binded together is more..." stops talking and gets red in the face. "Let's... just leave it at that,"
I like to think that the process of binding is just that your souls are entwined together...So when one of you passes, you still remember them in your next life, type of thing. Cause if you're a mortal, chances are, you'll die earlier than Xiao. Anyhow, that's a completely different story.
Zhongli
Zhongli prefers the quiet and the nature. This is probably part of your occasional stroll when the two of you need some quiet time.
Zhongli, with how long he has lived, also doesn't see marriage as the normal get-down-on-one-knee-with-a-ring-thing, but for him, it's a contract. It's more binding than anything in the world.
"Y/N, we've walked this path countless of times before," he starts as the two of you continue to stroll. You reply saying that you like this particular area where the bamboos are.
"Is that so?" suddenly stops and looks at you. "In that case, would you care to listen to a proposal I have?"
Clears his throat when you give the approval. "As I've said, we've walked this path countless of times before..." he takes your hand in his "but for me, who has lived longer than you, I've traversed this path for even more times," he closes his eyes. "Yet, with you by my side, this path changes. It transforms into something resplendent. As if...every time had been the first time I've walked through it. It is with you, Y/N, that I discover life anew, despite the thousands of years I've lived. Would you consider forming a contract of lifelong partnership with me, and only me?"
End
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sometimes i worry that people can tell i'm hitting on them, or the opposite: people thinking i'm hitting on them when in reality i am simply a silly fellow whose intentions do not always come off how he intends. i just want to be liked.
#maybe I shouldn't be hitting on people who i think would reject me. unfortunately though#(despite what some people might say) i have a heart bigger than my ego.#myevilposts#it's this grand fight between my mind telling me to stop and giving me the fear about hitting on people#and my heart screaming I MUST MAKE YOU LOVE ME! LOVE ME! EVEN THOUGH-!#and it hasn't gotten me in trouble yet but at some point it probably will. but it has caused me plenty of heartache.
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Imagine
Kinich with
With a breeding kink
Imagine him not allowed to finish inside at the beginning, but gods does he beg to
Eventually reader gives in and allows him to
Hhhhhhhhes so jekfmekdkfke😞
──── i wanna see some!!
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ synopsis. baby fever & kinich (i cant think of anything aesthetic)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ pairings. kinich x gn!afab!reader !!NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!!
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ director's notice. thank you all again for 1k, i might be a bit slow with posts since projects are going crazy at class rn sob
kinich who has to plead and beg to cum inside of you. even if it is in the heat of the moment; there's no shame in asking, you are his partner after all.
after a few times where stress gets to you and you both wanna relieve it (sex)- you might as well indulge into the activity, right?
but after a few more tries, you can sense how tempted your lover was to keep your hips attached to his before he came, literally having to ask you with that oh-so-whiny voice.
"ah- pretty, please- ahhn- fffuck let me cum in you- need it s'bad." you felt bad hearing how desperate he was, but no no no you both had lives outside of this. it could be a lot of hassle. jokes on you though because he already has baby names planned out for them ^_^
so in love with the way your hole just takes him so good he can't help but ask more and more, it'd be an honor to orgasm with you anyway, he wouldn't have it any other way.
kinich who already had your legs hoisted up on his shoulder, his gloved grip strong against the plush of your thighs, archons was he hot. "p- please.. c'mon i've been treating you real nice, right? let me breed you." he whispered into your ear as he leaned forward.
ever since he saw you with mualani's baby niece in your arms, cooing to her like how any parent would. making the small child in your arms smile, and giggle at your peekaboo attempts, or how you tickled her with a sense of gentleness.
what would your kids with him look like? shit he could already imagine.. his black-blue hair and your (e/c) colored eyes. or what if they had your hair, and his eyes? or maybe they'd be your little carbon copy, and take after their dad for personality. his mind hasn't stopped ever since seeing the situation unfold in front of him.
but when you finally let him, of course he has to build up the best orgasm for you both to share! fitting his head into the crook of your neck; "what do you think our kids would look like? or act like?" it felt like the more he talked, the faster he went. "mmph.. maybe i jus' wanna see you with a round belly. jus' wanna see you bearing our child."
he could already imagine life after you've given birth, what would he name them if it were to be a girl, or perhaps a boy? maybe a mixture of both of your names? or let you decide?
"ahh- u- uhuh? you like the way i thrust into you, right? i'd hate for you to be uncomfortable." he hummed as he continued drilling his cock into you. your hole was already so wet from the previous foreplay beforehand, well of course when you let him cum inside, he'll want a taste of your pussy before it's alllll gone!
he'll still ask you if he could kiss you right after. he wants to make what'll happen now special for you and him to look back onto in the future. laughing or not at the past, he'll make sureit's memorable..
of course by the evident, and growing bulge in your tummy. oh fffuck you could feel it coming already-
"d- don't cum yet, p- pretty. w'na do it together." he mumbles out, barely being able to control himself, he placed one of your stray palms onto the mark on your stomach. "you feel me inside you?"
you couldn't help but let out a loud moan, throwing your head back before he quickly pulls your hair to look back at him.
"don't look anywhere else, pretty, i wanna see the way you look when i make you cream on my dick while i cum too. okay?"
you could hear the loud sound of his shaft slapping against you loudly in the stray hallways of the outside lobby of the hotel you both stayed in- previously on a mission.
even what felt like the fifteenth time you've came on his cock again, it just seemed like it only throbbed, continuously hard throughout all your climaxes. each dominant vein on his cock you could feel, the way his grip tightened around your waist as he took the gloves on his hands with his mouth to make sure not to waste a drop.
"mmf- k- kin i'm g'na-" you try to close your thighs, but to no avail, as kinich's palm, previously on your hair, moves swiftly to keep them open. "i know y'can take me baby, don't worry."
kinich who wrapped a possessive arm around you as you came, holding your waist close to his as you came. as his warm load shot up inside you, letting you arch your back all you wanted on the base of his cock. your arms instinctively rang around his neck, still shaking, trembling almost from coming with him.
he slowly let you lay down on the comfort of the pillows.
he leans down next to you, his fingers still keeping themselves inside your hole.
"not a drop wasted, 'kay?"
he couldn't wait 'till the day came that he'd be able to see kids of both your descents-
"what's with all the-" ajaw's jaw drops at the scene of you cuddling, and kinich hand still inside your hole.
"..." "..YOU ARE DISGUSTING!!"
i kind of ran out mid way for ideas, so sorry if this isn't what you were looking for sob
#──── resin: performances#genshin impact x reader#genshin drabbles#genshin headcanons#genshin fanfic#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin fluff#genshin imagines#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact smau#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x you#genshin x gn reader#genshin x you#kinich fluff#kinich#kinich x reader smut#kinich smut#genshin kinich#kinich x reader#smut#x reader#natlan x reader#cw breeding#cw sex mention
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