#that guy would be dead and I'd be in jail

[ronearoundblindly]

What do the cevans + bucky guys do if someone's trying to move in on their girl? Someone with more of an in than a rando - an ex, a coworker, a friend.

So this took me a while because there's a difference between exactly who is making a move on you and exactly what your guy's situation is. I've done my best to generalize but also add enough context.

Warnings for some questionable reactions, language, and possessiveness. MINORS DNI.

James Mace

He's away for long periods, so I could see him being quite upset with someone getting too friendly while he's gone. Mace understands people are supportive of each other in stressful times; he can't be mad at you getting support, but if he ever caught that friendly, supportive guy touching you? Absolutely, a fight would break out. He's not bulky but scrappy as all hell, and he will viciously defend you(r relationship).

Curtis Everett

Possessive. Super duper possessive. If he gets a whiff of any other man in your life--in any part of your life--being interested in you, there's a 'talking to' that happens, and either the dude backs off respectfully or you never fucking see that guy again. All your exes are either dead to you or really dead. Period.

Jimmy Dobyne

Ok, shockingly, not that possessive. In some ways, he finds it flattering that others are interested in you. Why shouldn't they be? You're great. As far as them making an actual move on you, Jimmy expects you to shut it down firmly, quickly. The only time he'll get physically involved is if a guy tries to hit on you while you're drunk. Un-fucking-acceptable. Do not fucking try it, asshole. Jimmy don't care if that's your boss's boss or the goddamn governor. Step the fuck off his girl. You're allowed to enjoy yourself without fear of someone taking advantage

Johnny Storm

lol, what? What's going on? Unless Johnny sees or hears you distressed about it, he's not bothered. He trusts you, and he assumes you're having fun getting some attention unless you give him a look (or text) that says 'step in, please.'

Jake Jensen

Does the guy mind being doxxed? Does he want himself to suddenly receive subscriptions for gay BDSM magazines or have his personal number listed as a provider for STD treatment? "Hello, I'd like you to take care of my genital herpes." "Oh my god, man, my dick burns. You gotta help me!" "Uh, can you get crabs from a rimjob???"

Yeah. Go ahead, put that arm around Jake's woman and see what happens. Here's your copy of Anal Angels Monthly, dickhead.

Jake...won't actually tell you he's doing any of this, but he hopes that fucker goes insane or to jail. No big deal. What are you thinking for dinner, babe?

Lloyd Hansen

Um, he probably put you in the dude's path on purpose, honestly. Like you are there to distract while Lloyd works in the shadows of that guy's life and steals something, tortures someone, or lures them in to kill. Lloyd thinks it's nice you're so useful in this way.

If a nobody (to Lloyd) gets close to you, he doesn't really care because you know Lloyd's got that good D you'll come back to...🫣 He has his own criteria for who is nobody and who is somebody, and it doesn't really matter what you think of the person or who they are to you. They are you are either useful, or Lloyd doesn't care.

Ari Levinson

Whole thing about it here from Bedrock and Blueprints, but in general, I do see Ari as on-guard for you receiving unwanted (or wanted) attention from men close-r in your life. His go-to move is to plant himself like a brick wall beside you until you make it very, very clear to the guy that Ari is your one and only. He doesn't think of himself as a possessive person because he will do this subconsciously.

Ransom Drysdale

Usually gets nasty and snippy with you. How could you not shut down the flirting? How could you let the guy think he has a shot?? How come you didn't apologize to Ransom for the embarrassment??? It's bullshit, but good fucking luck getting Ran to see that...

Andy Barber

Mixed bag. Andy arbitrarily gets super-pissed or doesn't notice at all, based on the level of attention he's paying in a social situation. Maybe he's distracted by a case at work when you all are out at dinner with people, so the fact your recently-divorced coworker is thrilled by your concern for him goes right over Andy's head. Maybe you two are at a friend's wedding and your bestie from middle school wants you to come onto the dance floor with him for that song--the one you made up moves to back in the day,--but Andy refuses because you're his and promised him all the dances tonight. He's unpredictable without knowing the full context.

Steve Rogers

Whole thing about it here for Fools Rush In, but Steve doesn't really get flirting. He barely does it himself, so it's hard for him to recognize someone being too nice to you. Someone making a move on you--short of physically moving to take you somewhere--goes right over his head. He isn't the jealous type as long as there's trust between you. Steve might get a smidge frustrated if he can't relate/speak about huge, important subjects to you, but instead of being jealous of guys who can talk to you about those things, he just learns more about them to join the conversation. Pretty simple solution if you ask him.

If, however, the guy makes you uncomfortable, Steve will do everything possible to separate you from that, though he will do it discreetly in public so as not to draw more unwanted or uncomfortable attention.

Bucky Barnes

Highly unjealous until he is megajealous. No, those aren't words, but they are applicable. Bucky just lets most things roll off him like a duck in water when he's happy in a relationship. He'll start off a bit prickly while getting comfortable and gaining trust in you, but after that, he's all-in...until someone goes too far. If a guy you know is flirty or whatever, Buck's fine (excepting you don't seem mad or upset about it), but if one motherfucker professes his love for you and how you should ditch Bucky, etc, you'd be hard-pressed to find the words to stop Bucky from hunting that son of a bitch down. The guy would be forbidden from being near you, if you work together, someone has to quit, and if it's an ex? Well, likely that guy disappears off the face of the earth and his body is never found. The end.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would... Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (Final Timeline)

Warnings: suggestive (i might have to change this warning to "mentions of sexual content" bcs it's too tame of a warning for the stuff that's actually in here), swearing, the word "pedophile" is mentioned, mentions of substance abuse

Desc: Everyone finds out Takemitchy and Mikey are time leapers, which leads to some...interesting questions

Mitsuya: so let me get this straight

Mitsuya: you're a time traveler, and you've lived dozens of timelines to prevent Hina from dying but she kept dying anyway but then when you got to one where she didn't die, Mikey was some deranged criminal lord and was miserable and depressed and tried to kill himself so you had to go back in time again to make sure everything was fixed but ended up dying while fighting Mikey but then somehow you both went back in time and rewrote all of our entire lives??

Takemitchy: yeah...

Baji: cap

Mikey: it's not

Mitsuya: so Mikey's a time traveler too?

Mikey: yeah it's crazy i know

Draken: do you guys have any way to prove this?

Chifuyu: this explains why i keep getting random visions of me in alternate universes. holy shit

Haruchiyo: weird ass prank

Takemitchy: i think it happened since you're close to me and we basically did everything together. i'm not sure

Inupi: we're just gonna believe this?

Koko: wait, i kind of do

Kisaki: this...defies all logic of anything ever.

Mikey: shut up Kisaki

Mikey: i'm sorry it's just that in ever other timeline you've ruined my life so it's difficult to be nice to you sometimes

Kisaki: so you don't like me because of something i did in another universe?

Takemitchy: *timeline

Mikey: yeah. my bad

Baji: i'm gonna entertain this cause i'm bored but what was i like in other timelines

Mikey: dead

Baji: ...all of em?

Mikey: yeah, it kinda drove me to insanity

Baji: damn

Baji: why?

Mikey: you killed yourself to save Kazutora

Baji: what was the context

Mikey: long story

Baji: there wasn't any other way?

Mikey: you're kinda pissing me off cause that's what i was wondering, actually

Baji: damn

Kazutora: thanks man. appreciate it🙏

Kazutora: i'll slobber on your meat later, as a proper thank you

Baji: i'd appreciate that. thanks homie🙌

Koko: what about me?

Baji: you wanna slobber on my meat? i mean i won't stop you. as long as i can call you kitten.

Koko: ...i was talking about me in alternate universe's😐

Takemitchy: i don't think we should go there guys. there's too many timelines, and not everything was exactly the same. and also in general it was a really traumatizing experience for me and i kind of want to end my life every time i think about it

Hanma: womp womp. what about me???

Mikey: murderer

Hanma: YESSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭

Hanma: THANK GOD, I KNEW IF I COULDN'T DO IT HERE, MULTIVERSE ME WOULD HAVE LIVED THE DREAM

Hanma: are me and Tetta-san together in every universe

Mikey: surprisingly, yes

Hanma: and he denies we're soulmates😔

Kisaki: i will not hesitate to get another restraining order

Hanma: a piece of paper won't stand in my way. let's get married

Kisaki: i will call the police

Draken: guys are we really entertaining this?

Mikey: you went to jail in one of the timelines and you were bald LMAO

Draken: sure

Baji: why'd he go to jail?

Mikey: these guys killed Emma and Ken-chin took revenge

Baji: respectable

Mikey: he was given a death sentence

Baji: that's tough fr

Ran: i'm kinda curious

Ran: humour me, what was i like?? was i famous?

Mikey: you were a criminal. killed people

Ran: sounds about right if i'm being honest

Ran: and Haruchiyo and Rindou?

Haruchiyo: leave me out of Takemitchy's psychotic episodes

Haruchiyo: i think you have a hallucination/delusion disorder or something

Mikey: but don't you believe me?

Haruchiyo: ...

Haruchiyo: Mikey, you're also pretty mentally ill

Mikey: says you???

Haruchiyo: i just have substance abuse problems and i'm getting clean so...

Mikey: GUYS I'M TELLING THE TRUTH I SWEAR

Mikey: I'VE BEEN GOING CRAZY KEEPING THIS A SECRET

Draken: when was the last time you slept?

Mikey: ☹️

Baji: guys just play pretend.

Rindou: what about me?

Mikey: same as your brother just uh, less gay and slutty?

Rindou: story of my life

Inupi: you didn't do Koko

Mikey: criminal

Koko: the whole time?

Mikey: yeah

Mikey: Inupi got normal at some point because he and Ken-chin got close and they fixed bikes together and had sex

Inupi: Draken????

Draken: you're really starting to piss me off.

Mikey: Akane died in the fire though like she was BURNT

Takemitchy: uh Mikey-kun...

Mikey: she was a crisp i'm telling you

Mikey: Inupi you had an ugly red scar on your face and no one wanted you

Mikey: Izana i know you're reading this, you were fucking insane dude like you killed Emma for some fucking reason then Kisaki shot you 3 times in the chest and you died while having a really bad mental breakdown. it was a major L on your part

Chifuyu: Mikey why are you leaving out the fact that the common denominator in every single timeline was that you killed every single one of your friends in the most brutal ways possible🤨?

Mikey: no comment

Smiley: how'd he kill me?

Chifuyu: uhhh

Chifuyu: Takemitchy help me out here

Takemitchy: i don't want to talk about it😐

Chifuyu: I REMEMBER

Chifuyu: backshot

Smiley: ...

Smiley: he killed me by giving me backshots..?

Smiley: i would NEVER take it from behind

Smiley: especially from MIKEY

Smiley: small dick having ass

Smiley: my bootyhole is not to be messed with

Smiley: i'm so pissed off right now holy shit

Smiley: how did i even die???? dick so good it killed me?

Smiley: i'm so angry

Angry: and i'm Smiley😂

Baji: 3/10 joke 👎, poor delivery, fell flat

Smiley: i hope you kill yourself, Mikey

Mikey: trust me, i've tried

Chifuyu: ???

Chifuyu: he shot you in the back with a gun?

Chifuyu: what's wrong with you

Smiley: oh my bad i though you meant like, he was taking me doggy style

Smiley: i'm no bottom

Ran: what is happening

Chifuyu: i'm moving on😐

Chifuyu: Hakkai was tied to a chair and burnt to death

Hakkai: wha-

Hakkai: WHAT DID I DO??

Hakkai: jesus 😟

Chifuyu: why am i getting all these memories, i'm freaking out

Hakkai: Mikey please tell me what i did to deserve that ☹️

Mikey: idk Hakkai i was going through a lot

Draken: have you been diagnosed with anything?

Mikey: i don't need a diagnosis bcs i'm fine now, you're all alive and i don't have any murderous intent!!! yippee🤗

Mikey: isn't this great Takemitchy??

Takemitchy: well, yeah no ones dead so that's great

Izana: this is obviously completely fabricated

Izana: are you guys that bored?

Senju: man for all that time traveling you sure are a shit boyfriend😭

Takemitchy: how????

Takemitchy: did Hina say that☹️??

Senju: it's an observation

Senju: you've had way too many coincidental close calls with other woman💀

Draken: yeah you pissed me off when you thought i was gifting you a prostitute. you had a whole ass girlfriend. shame on you

Senju: and you also almost slept with Emma and you "don't remember"

Smiley: Mitchy's low-key funny as hell because what do you mean you stripped yourself and another girl down to your underwear by accident

Baji: wouldn't Takemitchy be a pedophile then?? Emma was 13 dawg🤨

Mikey: he was 14 though😭

Baji: you're gonna ride Takemitchy's dick to defend him from trying to sleep with your 13 year old sister??? crazy

Baji: wasn't be mentally 26🤨?

Baji: bro i'm gonna beat your ass actually

Mikey: hmm

Mikey: you know what Mitchy, why did you do that 🤨?

Smiley: LMFAOO

Mitsuya: why did i come back to Takemitchy facing pedophile allegations, like what's going on right now

Kazutora: is it not enough that he changed the space and time continuum just to be with his girl?

Kazutora: cheating this cheating that, my boy deserves all the pussy he wants

Kazutora: he's been beaten, shot, stabbed AND killed

Kazutora: i personally believe he's the goat

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: goat is an acronym for "greatest of all time", Baji-san

Baji: what's an acronym

Chifuyu: i'll dm

Kazutora: bro you're so fucking stupid😭

Draken: i don't care if he was skinned alive by an orangutan, there's no excuse to cheat on someone

Rindou: i think being skinned alive by an orangutang warrants having more than one girl. idk that's just me tho

Ran: not the point that's being made rn

Rindou: what exactly is the point that's being made

Rindou: is this real. are we being serious.

Rindou: i don't think i get the joke

Haruchiyo: i think we should all stop talking now

Mikey: Mitchy we need to talk a bit

Takemitchy: i told you this was a bad idea

[sturnboos]

KIDNAPPED BY CHRIS PART FOURTEEN

CURRENT WARNINGS: Stockholm syndrome, emotional, crying.

A/N: have your tissues and your favourite plushie prepared… cause your gonna need it

Six months later. I'm truly in love with him. Im currently laying in bed with him.

"Chris come here" Nicks voice yells.

"I'll be right back" Chris whispers and kisses my forehead. Forehead kiss. He's always done it. I love it. He gets out of bed and walks out of the room.

"We have to take her back" I hear nick say.

My heart drops. I sit up listening to the conversation.

"Nic-" "I know Chris, but it's been to long, she has family, you know that" Nick says.

"No" Chris says.

"I know your scared you'll lose her, but love doesn't work that way, you can still see her but we have to take her back now" Nick explains.

"He's right Chris" Matt says. "Especially since they just reopened the investigation…"

"I can’t" Chris says.

"Chris you knew this was gonna happen someday, you knew we can't keep her forever, it's been six months, everyone thinks she's dead" Nick says.

"I know" Chris says. "But I can't see her anymore if we take her back, it's to risky, I'd have to go to jail" Chris says.

"And maybe we all should do that" nick says.

What? A tear leaves my eye.

"But for how long would we be there for nick, at least 15 years" Chris says louder. "We'd be over the age of 30 by the time we got out" Chris adds on.

"Theres no way I'm going to jail, I think we just gotta drop Delilah off somewhere where no one goes then she can walk to her house" Matt says.

"Mhm today Chris, you can spend time with Delilah. Matt and I will figure out a plan" nick says.

I don't wanna go back.

Chris walks in the room and stands in the doorway leaning against the frame. I look at him then stand up. He walks over to me, I quickly wrap my arms around his neck and he hugs me tightly.

"I'm so sorry" Chris whispers.

"It had to happen" I whisper.

I can hear Chris crying. "It's ok Chris, we can still we eachother" I whisper and look at him.

"Yeah, but not for at least another few months" he whispers.

A tear leaves my eye. "It's gonna be ok" I whisper. This is when he completely breaks down. He falls to the ground. I quickly sit next to him and pull him close to me. He rests his head on my lap and I lean back on the bed. He continues to cry, i let a tear fall from my eye too but quickly hold myself together.

We sit on the couch at 6:00pm exactly dreading when Nick comes in. I hold Chris's hand tightly and rest my head on his chest.

"It's time to go" I hear Nicks voice.

"Ok" Chris whispers. I stand and so does Chris. We walk into his room and he hands me my hoodie to put on. I take his hoodie off and put my now clean one on.

"What's your address?" He asks and I tell him.

He walks to a drawer and pulls out my phone and keys.He hands them to my as a tear leaves his eye. I take them and put them in my pocket. "Delilah I love you so much" he whispers. "I know" I smile, "fuck, i don't know how I'm going to live without you here" he laughs. I smile, a tear leaves my eye.

"Come on you guys" Matt yells.

"I would take your phone number but that's also to risky, I'll send you something in the mail" he whispers as we walk out.

"You don't have to Chris" I laugh.

"I want to" he smiles.

We walk outside, we slowly get in the backseat of the car and Nick and Matt in the front, Matt's driving. I rest my head on Chris shoulder as Matt begins to drive. Chris places his hand on my thigh, "Delilah I'm gonna need you to lie down" Nick smirked looking back at us. "not in that way Nick!" he shakes his head chuckling. "I mean we don't want police to spot her with us right?" I nod slowly and lay down curled up in the seats with my head on Chris's lap. He plays with my hair softly.

when we’ve finally reached my neighbourhood the car stops.

"Well" Matt sighs, I sit up, I look at Chris. I lean and kiss him passionately, he kisses back. I pull away and he kisses my forehead. I smile, a tear leaves his eye. I wipe it away. I open the door and step out of the car. "I love you" I whisper and kiss his hand softly. He smiles, I then turn and Chris let's go of my hand. "I love you too"

I walk onto the footpath my house is right here so I walk up to it and get my key out. I unlock the door slowly and open it. I open it and my mum stares at me in shock. "Delilah?" she whispers. "Uhhh hi" I say, she runs over to me and hugs me tightly, I hug back.

"Where the fuck have you been" she begins to cry.

"I got lost in the woods" I lie.

"I thought you were dead, did you not get my texts?" She asks looking at me.

"My phone died"

She stares at me then cups my cheeks. "Oh my gosh Delilah" she whispers and kisses my cheek. "I can't believe it" she says.

"Delilah?" I hear my brothers voice. I turn to him and look at him standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah" I nod slowly, he runs over to me and jumps on me, "you stupid idiot, you made me cry" he says and pulls away and starts punching me. I laugh, "so you actually do care about me?" I say, "no I hate you" he smiles. I laugh

Meanwhile back in the car Chris had watched as Delilah's mum ran over to her and hugged her tightly. a tear left his eye.

"You alright" Matt asks looking at him. Chris nods slowly. Matt begins to drive away.

Delilah looked back at the car driving away.

"What really happened Delilah?" My mum asks looking at the car.

"Go to your room" I push my brother away. "I want to talk to mum privately" He rolls his eyes but walks away.

"I was kidnapped" I whisper.

"By that mini van!?!" my mother says.

I nod slowly. "But, you can't turn them in, they aren't like that, I had the choice of coming back but I didn't want to come back" I explain quickly.

"What?! Delilah, you didn't want to come back?!" She asks, I shrug, "I- I think I fell in love" I whisper as a tear falls down my cheek. Her heart drops. "I feel in love with the kidnapper" I begin to cry, "aw Delilah, I know it's scary" she whispers and hugs me.

"That's not why I'm crying, I'm crying because I can't even see them" I sob.

"Them?" She asks.

"Yes" she pulls away and looks at me and smiles.

"Love doesn't just get pushed out of the way, I bet they'll find a way to see you again" my mum whispers. I shrug. After a while I walk up to room, which hadn’t changed at all since I left, my dirty laundry still on the floor, journal still wide open.

TAGLIST: @blushsturns @blahbel668 @riasturns @iloveduckssm @cl1tlover3000 @emmaweasley @chrissbxby @sturnobessed @kayskreativeideas @tits4matt @cherryswifeyy @mattsfavho @sturniolobananas1 @courta13 @alexisa78 @chrisissos3xy @sturnobessed @mattschelseaa @sturniolos67 @norahsturns @dolliraez @jibitzlesscrocs

[npookie0]

The Chaotic Duo.

A Ronin x Misaki fic

︻デ═一・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Misaki was sitting on top of a building. Shotgun by their side, phone in their shaky hands.

<@hitmeupp>: Anyone wants to be my assassination support?

This was yet another time when they send a message like this to the server, they always did that when the target was either too dangerous or they had a very shitty day. This was the former, their clients hired her to kill a CEO of a big filming company who was also entangled with some shady mafia business. The amount of armed men around him was really getting on the poor assassin's nerves, they just wanted an easy kill, is it so much to ask for?

Well while they were cursing their client in their head, they heard a silent DING, someone dmed them!

<@goreboy>: heard you Needed some Support

<@goreboy>: what's up?

Well, that was unexpected.

Ronin usually doesn't text her when she sends a message like that, it's usually Angel who helps them. Maybe she sent Ronin because she's busy? Yeah, that's probably it.

"Dude oh my fucking God, I am dyinggg here. Like seriously, how guarded can a guy be?" They sent him a short voice message, if Angel really sent Ronin to the rescue then he wouldn't be surprised by the voice message, right?

<@goreboy>: heh seems Like the Best assassin in The Whole fucking japan is really Stressing over a small fry

<@goreboy>: who's The target btw?

"Oh shut the fuck up, I can get stressed!- oh shit he almost looked this way... oops" They send the message and then sent another one. "Some guy who worked with the mafia, the money for him is high."

<@goreboy>: damnnn alr Then maybe shoot him Before He sees ya

<@goreboy>: we Don't wanna our Fav assassin dead

They chuckled at his respone.

"Awh stop or you'll make me blush while i'm killing someone." They said jokingly, Ronin could hear them loading their gun in the message.

<@goreboy>: maybe I'd like to See ya All blushy hm?

Misaki didn't see that message until after they left the rooftop, Ronin's message really did make them blush.

<@hitmeupp>: Oh stfu

<@hitmeupp>: He's dead

<@hitmeupp>: Thanks for the help

<@goreboy>: when You need help Call For the devil and He Will help You out

Ronin chuckled after he sent that reply.

Would he really help the assassin the next time they need help? Never say never, he could as well replace Angel and take some of her worries off of her shoulders, right? Also it's important to keep the server's members alive and out of jail.

Misaki in fact did use Ronin's help, texting him directly to help her out and he was there every time. His replies were different from Angel's, well that was to be expected, they are two different people with very different personalities.

Ronin was encouraging them more in the devilish style, he was flirting with them to keep their mind off of the nerves, made jokes about the target and fed Misaki's ego about them being THE assassin.

<@goreboy>: hey Wanna Call?

<@goreboy>: i'm Bored

Misaki was surprised to receive this DM, Ronin wants to talk, and he wants to do this only with them. Weird? Maybe a little. But he could consider Misaki's interest piqued.

<@hitmeupp>: Ofc babes

Immediately after sending that on their screen was a pop up.

@goreboy is calling.

They picked up without a second thought.

Normally Misaki wouldn't show anyone their living arrangements, but only did they know Ronin for two whole years, he also was pretty open about being in possession of their IP address which meant that he knew where and how they live.

"Hey, hey. What does the big devil want from little me?" Misaki asked once the call connected.

"Not much, jus' bored, and you're quite good at amusing me." Ronin replied with a confident smirk glued to his voice.

"Woah, am I your clown now?" They asked with a fake hurt in their voice.

"More like my personal chaos maker." He was obviously flirting with them, and Misaki wasn't going to let him have his fun alone.

"Maybe we could make chaos together then?" They joked, there was no chance for them to do it together in real life, even if Misaki wished that they could meet up... Wait, what?

"About that." Ronin's voice cut through Misaki's thoughts. "I just happened to get my hands on a plane ticket to Tokio, was wondering if you could be my guide." Ronin's words made Misaki's eyes widened.

"What!" They fell from their chair. "Ouch... wait, wait, wait! What do you mean you have a plane ticket? And to Japan?"

"Don't ask so many questions, you don't need to know." Of course Ronin wouldn't answer, he has to be a fucking mystery. A hot mystery who's really helpful...

"Yeah sure whatever, so you want me to be your guide?" They crossed their arms over their chest.

"Who's better to show me around than the best assassin the whole Japan ever saw?"

"Are you seriously feeding my ego just to get me to agree? Wow Ronin... Why does this actually work every time?" They whined. "Of course I will show you around." They smiled.

"Great, I'll be there next week."

"Wait, what-"

Aaand he hang up.

Yeah. very Ronin style.

"He's coming here? Oh fuck! Ronin IS coming here! Oh my god..." Misaki's voice was mix of stress and excitement.

They started to feel something for Ronin a while ago, but they didn't really know if it would work out. But with him showing up so randomly? Maybe it was a sign?

"Oh my god! Why does it make me so fucking excited?" They groaned and fell on their bed, their face buried in a pillow so they could scream their excitement out.

A week had passed without Misaki even noticing it.

They are standing near the airport exit with the most cheesy and cringey welcoming cardboard ever: "Here stands the devil's servant" written in English, with some edgy stickers all around the words.

It didn't take Ronin long to find them and he was barely keeping in his laughter when he approached Misaki.

"Damn, such a warm welcome. Makes me feel like royalty." He said with that cocky smirk of his.

"...Why are you even hotter in person?" Misaki asked bluntly.

"You're not too bad looking yourself, quite on the contrary, you look so much better in person." He said, Misaki didn't know if he was genuine or if it was just the regular teasing, but their poor heart still took the damage.

"Uh um, yeah! We need to get to your hotel!" They changed the subject, which was answered with Ronin's chuckle.

"Sure, lead the way darling."

The assassin couldn't say that their time with The Butcher was boring. It was anything BUT boring.

Not only did they spent some fun time at the local karaoke, ate some amazing food or did other fun activities. Ronin also made sure to do some illegal activities together, going around abandoned buildings, setting trashcans on fire, Misaki watching Ronin kill a guy, or Ronin waiting for Misaki after their assassination.

They had a good time together. And undoubtedly they grew closer. Close enough that Misaki stole Ronin's shirt from his hotel room and he let her do her thing.

"You're drowning in it." Ronin's voice came from behind Misaki who just put the t-shirt on.

"AH!" They yelled and turned around. "Man learn how to walk and make sound please?" They said and glared at him.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway... You can keep it." He came closer to Misaki. "Suits you." He smirked.

Misaki's face turned red.

"Uh.. um... thanks?" They weren't sure how to interpret his words, but oh lord even without a proper interpretation their heart went crazy.

"Told you, you're my chaos maker." He whispered into their ear. "And we can just bring chaos to the world together."

Was that really the Devil's confession just now?

[maze-mind]

Ivy Trio (In)Correct quotes.

Yes. Part 3. It's too late for me *dies*

------------------------

Store Worker: Would a “Newt” please come to the front desk?

Newt, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Minho and Thomas: I believe they belong to you?

Minho and Thomas, simultaneously: We got lost.

Newt: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me...

---------------------

Newt: I have a bad feeling about this...

Thomas: What do you mean?

Newt: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Thomas: No.

Minho: That actually explains so much.

-----------------------

Newt: What’s up? I’m back.

Thomas: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.

Newt: Death is a social construct.

------------------------

Newt: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Minho: I'm a knife.

Thomas: He's the little spoon.

------------------------

*Scenario: Minho+Thomas in jail together*

Thomas: So, who should we call?

Minho: I'd call Newt, but I feel much safer in jail.

-------------------------

Thomas: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever, and you're both invited.

Newt: 'If?'

Minho, sarcastically: Great! The only party I've ever been invited to, and you might not even *die*!

--------------------------

*Scenario: Newt driving Minho+Thomas*

Newt: So, how was your guys' day?

Thomas: We almost got surprise adopted!

Newt: What?

Minho: We almost got kidnapped.

Newt: Oh, okay.

Newt:

Newt: WAIT, *WHAT*?

---------------------------

Minho: What do you think Thomas will do for a distraction?

Newt: He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.

*A building explodes, and several car alarms start beeping*

Minho:

Newt: ...Or, he could do that. Seems like Tommy.

--------------------------

Newt: Hey Minho, can I have some dating advice?

Minho: Hold it. Just because I'm dating Thomas does not mean I know how I did it.

---------------------------

Newt: ...Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Minho?

Minho: No.

Thomas: I do!

Newt: I know, Thomas.

Thomas: I'm sad!

Newt: I know, Thomas.

---------------------------

Minho: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?

Newt: Go the shuck to sleep.

Minho: What gif I don't want to?

Newt: Shuck You

---------------------------

Someone: How many kids do you have?

Newt: Biologically, emotionally, or physically?

[maras-mischief]

She's got that look again...

Ever since my boyfriend, Sid, took too many doses of Vari-8 and became Sydney, I've had to keep a close eye on him... her. She's my BFF for sure. There is way too much history between Sid and me not to be. But Sydney has an impish side that Sid never had.

I think it comes from being the most beautiful girl on campus now. Sid was rather plain, if not on the goofy-looking side, if I'm being honest. I had no idea his female Vari-8 version would turn out to be a goddess.

I gave Sid Vari-8 once to sneak him into a sorority party at the local university. As a high school girl, I didn't want to go alone. Sydney was the life of the damn party. Everyone gravitated towards her, both men and women. There was something about her that was...gravitational. You couldn't help but get pulled in.

Then Sid took it a few more times. He was careful each time, but he loved how free Sydney was. She could get away with anything. In fact, she did. It was the first time I saw her devious side. We were at a party and she disappeared with Brad Weston. Brad was dating Mallory, the school bitch and Queen bully. She used to bully me senselessly during my sophomore year. Suddenly, the whole party was watching a POV livestream of Brad fucking some girl. She made him talk about how amazing her pussy was and how much of a dead fuck Mallory was. The whole school laughed as Brad spilled every nasty thing wrong with Mallory.

"Her tits are lopsided. One grew before the other, so she has to pad the left one. She can't cum unless I have a finger in her butthole and she has to scream Daddy when she cums. She has no gag reflex so gives the worst blowjobs in history."

The whole party was laughing as the video went on and on. It finally ended when Brad pulled out and jerked off on her tits. It was then that I recognized Sydney. I'd seen her breasts enough times to spot them. The video ended, and Sydney appeared 5 minutes later. The whole party ended when Mallory found Brad, beat the shit out of him, and the cops were called. Mallory was taken to jail for assault. Brad is still in the hospital. His testicular repair surgery should work once the swelling goes down.

Then it happened. Sid spent the entire weekend as Sydney — that's 9 doses of Vari-8. That was the weekend my little brother lost his cherry, my wicked stepmom had a lesbian affair, and my dad filed for divorce papers. Am I mad that Sydney fucked my little brother, sure. But at least I know he'll be a good lover; Sydney has standards and taught him a thing or two. Plus, my stepwitch is out of our lives. I just have to keep a close eye on Sydney. She enjoys causing mischief when she's bored.

"Whose that?"

I looked at the guy pulling into the student parking lot in a red Porsche convertible.

"That must be Devon, the new kid. I heard his Daddy is loaded."

"Married?"

"Just divorced. He...Sydney..."

"What?"

"Don't give me that. What are you going to do?"

"Maybe Devon. Maybe Daddy. Maybe both."

"Sydney!"

"What? I'm bored."

[heavenlymorals]

In Defense of Bill Williamson: A Curious Case Of Hear Me OUT-

Warning: this post contains mentions of rape, homophobia, and period typical attitudes.

The first time I played RDR2, I was very curious and went into Sonny's cabin. If you know, you know.

I was horrified over learning what happened to Arthur and the shock of it all was impalpable. The fact that Rockstar put in such an encounter was diabolical, but either way, it happened, and I was pissed and heartbroken for Arthur. Out of all the encounters that happened in this game, all the awful encounters, this is the only one that did not get a journal entry- mostly likely due to the trauma of getting raped and the shame of it as well- let us not forget that Arthur is a man, a very tough and burly man, living in 1899 America. The likelihood that there would be any support for him is nigh on none.

I fed Sonny to the alligators (obviously) later and more or less forgot about it because I avenged my Arthur.

Then Bill came along.

"I met a guy at the swamp who seemed to know a lot about you. I mean A LOT about you…"

I was pissed and it was the first time in the game that I heard pure, unadulterated hatred in Arthur's voice as he more or less growled at Bill to go away. From then on, I always antagonized Bill for seemingly mocking Arthur like that for getting raped.

But then I played again and again and played Red Dead 1 too and learned that Bill is gay. Even though it isn't said outright, it is implied so heavily that it would be laughable to suggest that he liked women.

So after a while, my reaction to Bill's words changed. I pity him now.

Now I know what you are thinking- Heytham, how the hell can you pity a man who mocked a fucking rape victim?

Because I don't think Bill thought Arthur was raped.

Here is how I came to this conclusion (feel free to disagree with me, but here is how I came to this conclusion):

Being a homosexual in the 1800s was a very isolating and daunting experience, with the threat of jail time and even death. Society was super judgemental and cruel to people who did not fit into what was expected of them, so being a homosexual would feel like hell on Earth because there wasn't a real way to express this attraction beyond longing and secrecy, which would make finding other gay people hard to do.

Beyond just isolation, homosexual actions can ruin careers, which we can assume is one of the reasons that Bill got dishonorably discharged ("deviancy") alongside attempted murder. Crazy to think that "deviancy" is on the same level of attempted murder and was probably shamed more, but that is neither here nor there.

Even the gang wasn't really accepting of Bill's sexuality, which speaks a lot about the gang's supposedly "progressive politics", as they aren't really politically progressive and more so idealistic in the romantic standards of 1800s America. In terms of Bill's sexuality, it felt more like a outta sight, outta mind sort of deal. Bill is the butt of jokes and his sexuality is too ("Is he gonna kiss that guy or punch him", "Bill and Phil", "He likes to do a lot of things with men on their knees (RDR1- John says it to purposely shame Bill more to the people he works with)")).

When his sexuality seems to be a bit more upfront, there is agression and disgust. The biggest example of this is Arthur's reaction to Bill wanting hair pomade. He sounds disgusted and mean and the sneer in his "Yeah, I'll get you your hair pomade…" is very telling that Arthur thinks that Bill is asking him for pomade for gay sex because of the way he reacts to it- he already has a disposition to thinking this is why Bill wants the pomade and it disgusts him, even though he does it anyways.

To give Arthur the benefit of the doubt, I'd be pretty weirded out if someone asked me for lube, but Arthur didn't know if that is what Bill actually wants. He could very well just need it for a job that requires him to look nice, which happens in the ball mission. The point is that he had a disposition and that disposition made him react in not only a bewildered way but a disgusted way. Im serious, just listen to that interaction- I don't think I am reaching.

In any case, it is quite obvious that Bill feels isolated and that isolation makes him awkward and aggressive around men that he does like (Kieran) and overall just angry at the world because of it, amongst other things. He has no one to talk to, no one to relate to, and he is shunned and despaired over something he cannot control.

So then Bill meets Sonny and whatever the hell they did together, Sonny talks about Arthur, and let us be real, what is the likelihood that he would flat out tell Bill that he raped Arthur? Low, I'd think. Most likely, he would just say that the two of them had sex.

Now think about this- Bill has mostly likely lived his entire life hiding his sexuality and only expressing it in secret because if he does otherwise, he will be punished in some form or another. But now he learns that another man in camp, the fucking enforcer of all people, has apparently went to this man for sex.

Do you realize what this means for a gay person? Especially a gay person who lives in a society that actively discourages and punishes same-sex relations? It doesn't necessarily mean that that person would try to drum up a relationship, but there is comfort in the fact that now you know another person who is experiencing the same thing you are- the solidarity in that is priceless. I would know, I come from a culture that still kills gay people.

When Bill comes up to Athur, he genuinely sound giddy, like he found a big secret. There wasn't really any malice in his voice, other than a "haha, guess what I just found out" sort of tone.

When Arthur tells him to get out of there, he didn't seem offended. He didn't seem annoyed or aggressive, which is unusual for Bill. He just puts his hands up in surrender and goes off, almost as if he was saying "hey, I get it man," in the sense that a man during this time period, especially a man like Arthur, wouldn't want to be found out as gay. Internalized homophobia was definietly rampant.

He genuinely doesn't seem to have malice in that tone- Bill only talks like that when he is either excited or happy or acting like a human being. And at this point in the game, Bill still respected Arthur, so I doubt he would want to step on his toes, especially in a way like that.

If I am not talking out of my ass, this could be such a great moment of character development for Bill- sympathy for another man supposedly like him in the world that they lived in. Fucking Bill having sympathy and empathy- who would've thought.

Or he could be mocking Arthur for being a rape victim because Bill is genuinely a piece of shit.

But on the off chance that he does not? What an interesting microcosm of LGBTQ+ dynamics in 1899 America.

In any case, FUCK SONNY AND DONT GET INVITED INTO HOUSES IN THE SWAMPS-

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Settle For This

Day #22 - AU | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: E | CW: Sex Acts, One F-Slur, Abuse of Power (Eddie's Not Mad At It), Brief Reference to Recreational Drug Use (Weed) | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Eddie x Gator, Minor Steddie Mention | Tags: Modern AU, Fuck The Police, Literally, Blowjob, Semi-Public Sex, But No Speeding Tickets Here

"Fuck the police," Eddie says, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. The van can't outrun the oversized penis metaphor of a truck behind him, red and blue lights flashing, so he eases to the shoulder. 

"Goddamnit, Eddie, I told you to slow down ten miles ago!" Gareth yells from the back, trying to hide the last of the weed.

Jeff's up front, and Goodie's sprawled out across the middle row, both dead to the world. 

They can't afford a speeding ticket, and definitely not anything more, if the guy's a real dickhead. 

The cop taps on the window, and oh, he's for sure a real dickhead. 

Stupid camo pants, stupid thigh-holster, and douchebag tattoos he definitely picked off a flash wall. This dimwit from the Stark County Sheriff's office is just gonna fuck up Eddie's whole night. Eddie can see it now.

He doesn't even give an opening spiel, just taps his nightstick on the side of the van, "What're you? Some sort of band? 'Spose yous guys are on tour, eh?"

"Yes," Eddie answers, trying not to sound sarcastic. But honestly? Did the logo give it away?

"Well, what kind of music do y'all shitbirds play?" he asks.

Eddie would rather just give his license and registration.

"Heavy metal," Eddie says.

"I like Metallica," the cop says in his thick accent, as if Metallica isn't the most well-known metal band in existence, but Eddie just nods. 

"I'm gonna need you step out of the vehicle," the officer says, and fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fine.

Whatever.

Just get this over with.

He's led to the back of the patrol truck, parked behind the van, lights still flashing, bouncing around in the darkness.

"I'm Officer Tillman, Gator if you're nasty," he says, and Eddie blinks at him. Did he really just say that? 

And Gator? What kind of name is Gator? Makes Goodie sound normal.

"I'm gonna have to give you the once over," he drawls, and then he's frisking Eddie, too rough, too long, and way too interested in what's between Eddie's legs.

"If you want to fuck me, just say so," Eddie snaps, and the hand that was brushing against him clamps down, squeezing his dick.

Eddie wills himself to not get hard. On principle.

"What'd you say to me, faggot?"

"I'm not the one squeezing cock, now am I?" 

Gator lets go, but keeps patting Eddie down.

"I ain't got nothing on me. I'd suggest a cavity search, but I think you'd like that a little too much, wouldn't you?"

"Don't make me handcuff ya."

Eddie grins, "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Eddie gets shoved against the tailgate of the truck for his trouble, and a knee slides between his legs, pushing upwards. 

And a hand, big and rough, grabs a fistful of Eddie's hair, pulling. Hard.

His dick is a goddamn traitor, because that does it. He's fucking hard against this asshole's thigh between one breath and the next. 

Fuck it.

Eddie grinds down, and briefly wonders if he's really fucked now. If he's gonna end up in jail, or worse.

But Gator pulls back, and his hand is firm on Eddie's shoulder, pushing him down, down, down to his knees, forcing him into the gravel.

Eddie hates that he isn't mad about this. Hates that he wants it.

Eddie goes.

And Gator is looking down at him, holding some intense eye contact, as he starts unbuckling his belt. Eddie watches and licks his lips. The dick that he pulls out of those camo pants is big, and thick, and Eddie wants nothing more than to put his fucking mouth all over that cock. 

Eddie sticks his tongue out of his mouth a little, an invitation, and Gator steps closer, taking it. Eddie wraps his hand around the thick length, and guides it towards his mouth. Rubbing the tip against his bottom lip, before sliding it all down, nose to pubes, showing off.

Gator groans, and grabs a fistful of Eddie's hair. Eddie doesn't mind that at all, and starts sucking his dick in earnest. Enjoy the stretch, the musk, the sore jaw that comes with the territory.

And when Eddie flicks his eyes up again, Gator is sucking on a goddamn vape. He can't even smoke a cigarette like a real man, apparently, but he definitely thinks he's big and bad. 

Eddie will just have to bring this fucker to his knees, as retribution.

"Fuck me," Gator moans, and boy would Eddie like to do just that. But right along the highway, as deserted as it is, seems unwise.

He'll have to settle for this.

And Eddie bobs his head, wet and hard and intense, as Gator claws at his scalp, pulling his hair, forcing himself deeper. Eddie's sure he thinks he's getting away with something here, but Eddie wants him that deep. 

Wants him to swallow him fucking whole.

"Oh fuck," Gator says, and then lets out a wounded noise as he comes against Eddie's tongue, down his throat. Fucking filling him, still grinding in.

When Eddie finally pulls back, he's sure he looks thoroughly debauched, as he demands, "My turn."

And to Eddie's utter surprise, Gator slips his vape into his pocket, moving to his own knees.

Back in the van, after, Gareth is all up in his business.

"What the fuck? Did you fuck a goddamn cop?" Gareth asks, leaning over between the seats. "I didn't know you were serious when you said fuck the police, Eddie. Fucking hell."

"Didn't get a ticket, did I?" Eddie says, answering without answering. 

"That's like, illegal. You could have him charged. Abuse of power or some shit," Gareth says. 

"Well, that's a thought. But I'm not dissatisfied with the way my night went."

"How? Why?!" Gareth screeches. 

Eddie turns, and grins, "Did he not look like Steve Harrington?"

"No, he didn't look like Steve Harrington. He looked like a fucking douchebag!" Gareth argues, exasperated.

Eddie shrugs. 

He looked a little like Steve Harrington.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Not to humor the idea of Light taking a single millisecond to question the lack of actual due process in his world view, but What If Light saw a news report saying that without a shadow of a doubt, a suspect he killed was entirely innocent and wrongly convicted, with the real culprit even outright confessing? He seems like the kind of guy to view the law in general as basically infallible, context-less holy scripture, so how would he react to a dime-a-dozen failure in it? Would he rationalize it as a false report, some kind of guy on the inside, a necessary causality for the bigger picture?

To be fair to Light that's not "the law", an ephemeral concept, but the enforcement of the law. Though Light sees these as much the same things in the series.

As for what he'd do, I think he wouldn't believe it. Light, I imagine, believes he does his own due diligence in deciding who lives and who dies. This is why he kills people that law enforcement has otherwise let off or convicted with jail time and not death.

In these tumultuous Kira times, I think he'd see a sudden confession from someone else that Kira has killed is a publicity stunt (because what a fast way to get Light's attention and get dead). It's another Lind L. Taylor to show that 'Kira' is not a god, is infallible, and he just arbitrarily killed the wrong person. Well, Light certainly knows better than that.

As it is, I highly doubt anyone would be confessing while Kira's on-going. You might get a few but, well, "oh heart-attack god, please kill me, I'd like to die painfully and potentially humiliatingly". The only way I see most if any criminals confessing during this time is if they get an agreement that their case will not, at all, be publicized and their name and face not released.

Sort of like hiding from the mob, very similar in that there are real risks that, if one is not extremely careful, they will be killed in prison.

[weebsinstash]

Ya know, I've made posts about the yandere Batfamily before, and I've been thinking lately about one person in particular, and I think I've decided that Alfred is probably the most dangerous and formidable person in that entire house and have been brainstorming what a formidable platonic yandere guardian sorta figure he would be

For one, he's the man that canonically kept THE Batman from going over the edge, basically THE sole reason Bruce Wayne grew into the man he is. Literally, in alternate universes where Bruce never had Alfred, he literally 9 times out of 10 becomes a murdering sociopath. Alfred doesn't just have intelligence, he has EMOTIONAL intelligence

We're talking about the tenured elderly man who is former MI6 and doesn't give a fuck about murder, has killed, and will kill again. Bruce finds someone attacking you, he'll beat them up and cart them off to jail to be arrested and rehabilitated. Alfred will pull a pistol on a robber and shoot him dead before he allows you to get even a single scratch on you, just puts the guy down, "oh dear, I suppose I'll be late making dinner tonight, it seems I'll have to give testimony to Mr Gordon again"

I've seen fics where the sidekicks kidnap Reader or disable them for Bruce's sake, but don't you think Bruce himself would cross that line for Alfred? This man cooks, cleans, does everything for him, is practically a second father and his greatest friend, really kind of RAISED HIM. I just picture Alfred getting attached to Reader like you're practically his grandchild and then you return to your normal life, move out after staying them for a period of time or whatever, and Bruce can tell Alfred is... out of sorts, a little sad frown on his old withered face as he absent-mindedly sweeps the same corner of the same room for an hour, sighing, thinking about how he wanted to teach you all sorts of things, but, you're just gone now. Siiiiiiiiigh. And Bruce can't stand seeing Alfred like, actually depressed, even making mistakes he doesn't usually make, dropping things, lacking his usual playful sarcastic wit, just kind of a shell of his former self. You don't think you'd be getting an extra super special Uber ride in the Batmobile from the Dark Knight himself after that?

But I also think Alfred would be capable of really putting his foot down. He once told a disrespectful Damian he should be thankful Alfred wasn't his father in a very "because I'd actually discipline you" coded sort of way, and, say Reader grew up without a dad, or any parents and maybe has some traumas and potential behavioral issues from that. I could see Alfred being the kindest, sweetest, most patient grandpa, teaching you how to bake, keeping you company in the library, teaching you all kinds of things, and then the second you do things like start getting drunk, acting out, THROWING things, then he's putting his foot down, "now you listen HERE! Your behavior is absolutely unacceptable and you will not be allowed to degrade yourself within the walls of this home!" and manages to simultaneously scold you without putting you down, leaving you in ashamed embarrassed tears over your behavior that you're standing there crying, and he pulls you to take a seat in a nice chair and starts combing your hair and telling you he just wants best for you while you're bawling for his forgiveness, and he tells you he's already forgiven you and that he can run you a nice bath before bed

I can see a captive Reader scenario where you manage to break out of the house while everyone else is gone and you think, oh, you're home free! Batman and everyone else is busy! Lost in your own hubris as if Alfred doesn't have perfect knowledge of everything in the Batcave including the equipment and vehicles. You're in an alley cornered by a bunch of drunks who just want to beat the shit out of someone and suddenly, is that Batman? Wait, the costume is different, and the height, and, the body shape, and, and, and it doesn't even matter because Alfred can still lay all of them flat, blood on his knuckles as he wearily regards you, "you're not going to make a tired old man have to carry you to the car, are you?" and after what you just saw, you know better than to put up resistance

But like I can't get over the idea of, Reader staying at the Wayne residence for a limited period of time, you're injured and Bruce is offering you safe harbor, you're being targeted by a specific criminal group and need protection until the thugs are caught, something along those lines, and, one day, when everything is better, you just. Leave unexpectedly. They had already offered you a permanant place in the house but you still seem to be falling into a depression until one day you're straight up gone, only leaving a note that Alfred is the one to find, only 3 word, "Thank you. Sorry." and hr suddenly??? Can't think straight??? You're gone??? Why??? Why didn't you tell them?? Are you hurt?? Did they do something wrong??? How is he supposed to know if you're sad or if you're hungry or if you're in DANGER if he doesn't know where you are and what you're doing at all possible hours?

Just visualizing the idea of Bruce coming home one day and you're suddenly in the house again and you're seeming very much distressed but Alfred is looking fit as a fiddle again and it is very extremely incredibly obvious to Bruce that Alfred straight up brought you back against your will. But. He doesn't care because he agrees with Alfred that OBVIOUSLY since you're a member of the FAMILY NOW that OF COURSE you have to stay in the house

Can you imagine yandere Alfred but Bruce and everyone else is just, totally normal and just hardcore mega coping with Alfred's sudden change in behavior and occasional questionable actions. One day Alfred is dusting and without turning around, "Master Bruce, would you care to fetch my granddaughter for me while i finish this room?" and Bruce is just like "granddaughter????" And Alfred looks to him like he just said something BEYOND stupid, "Yes, my granddaughter, about ye high, awfully broody much like yourself, currently housed in the spare second floor bedroom at the end of the hall on the right? You act as if she didnt help bake that casserole you and the boys absolutely devoured last night"

Nightwing going down into the Batcave for like actual mission stuff and Alfred is already using the Batcomputer to monitor all your online internet use. What's that, some young man is trying to slide into your DMs? O-oh no, there was, uh, suddenly a glitch and he received a threatening message with no traceable source that told him to stay the bloody hell away from you! Whoops!

You're just his captive little grandchild who he helps teach recipes to and teaching you anything you're curious about. You make an offhanded comment one day that you would've loved to learn to play piano "but I'm too old now/it's too late now/I probably wouldn't be any good at it" and later on, after Alfred has brought you back after trying to live alone again (you being drugged if need be), and when you wake up he's all smiles, telling you about all the new structure he's about to introduce to your life, and, of course, you have to pick a day of the week for your new (now mandatory) piano lessons :) on Mondays you'll go for walks and have tea in the garden, Tuesdays you'll read in the library, on Wednesdays you'll learn piano, on Thursday he'll teach you a new recipe every week, Friday--- this old man is gonna force you to be productive and happy is all I'm gonna say

[loz-chainsofcorruption]

Headcanons on Gerudo?

Comment or reblog with any and all headcanons you may have for the Gerudo people! We've got some information on them, of which I'll list under the cut (do tell me if I got anything wrong or am missing anything)

But there's a lot that could be filled out, so I'm curious of y'all's thoughts since I'll be working on a project that will heavily involve the Gerudo. I'm especially curious on any thoughts regarding the males since there's not much information there. Like, we only ever see Ganondorf, unfortunately. How old do you think the male must be before he officially takes the throne (Riju is 12 when she takes the throne I believe, but is that because there was no other blood relative to take charge until she got older? Would the throne auto be handed to the male as soon as he was old enough, or would the chief keep ruling until he was a certain age? And how old even is "of age"? The girls in the dating/how to deal with voe class look like full on adults) Do you think his contact with girls that haven't come of age is limited? Do you think he takes a lot of wives so he can help populate the Gerudo with more full blooded Gerudo? Or only one wife?

But honestly I'll take ANY headcanons. I'd love to absorb some things for this project òwó

Reblogs to help more people see this would be much appreciated

What we know:

They live in the desert

They're often, but not always, thieves

They're tough, resourceful warriors (they seem to use scimitars, even duel weilding, spears, swords/claymores, bow and arrows, and shields)

They're mostly female, ruled by a chief, but one male, who becomes king, is born to them every 100 years (though that is so odd to me because 100 years is not a very long time and it's just like? Never mentioned beyond the fact that it's a thing? There's never "oh yeah the past king, my mom/grandma knew that guy". Like. It always feels more like hundreds of years go by... And "they only have male children if the previous guy is dead and since Ganondorf was sealed and not dead, they didn't have any" doesn't make sense because if Ganondorf was alive at the very founding of Hyrule, as that's where the Zonai are placed in the timeline, that would mean a male was straight up not born throughout the entirety of history, right? Any thoughts?)

They're not a fan of outsiders but especially are against men entering their area, unless, perhaps, they have proven themselves somehow (except like, in FSA? According to the encyclopedia, they're kinder to outsiders as a way to reform ties with Hylians after being driven out)

They leave home to find partners amongst Hylians and, at least in botw, the married women don't typically come back except to sell their wares according to Spera (though we don't ever see them settled down anywhere outside of Gerudo Town? Where they at? We know at least one mama came back bcuz a guy is in jail wanting to see his wife and kid, and we also know at least one vai who does stay with her hubby, but that's all? So idk) - their children go back to live with the other Gerudo until they're of age

Their family name comes before their given name

They seem to have their own religion

They have their own language and script

The position of chief is sometimes passed down from mother to daughter (like in the case of Riju), but sometimes seems to be a case of having to prove oneself (Dohna from EoW) (perhaps this has to do with the wishes of the previous chief, whether they want it passed down to their child or for it to be a sort of competition of who deserves it the most)

[crownmemes]

Detective Sentences, Vol. 27

(Sentences from various sources for detectives and/or muses that like to solve mysteries. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Relax! I'm not suggesting that you ask our murder suspect out!"

"You are not the damn judge and jury!"

"You did this? Had me arrested and dragged down here like a common criminal?"

"One doesn't tend to kill over rumours."

"I've never been removed from a case before."

"I was told I could observe a criminal case, and presumably that means you and I will have to be in the same room occasionally."

"You know what, instead of interrogating me, why don't you do something useful?"

"Do me a favour? Don't solve any murders today."

"Murder's not what it used to be."

"No man involved in crimes like these can live in them forever."

"Innocent men don't resist arrest."

"Are you planning to follow me around every time I have a murder case?"

"I've seen murder before, but nothing like this."

"Is that your idea of treading carefully?"

"If you have any information, I'd be obliged if you bring it straight to me."

"We're creatures of habit. That's what creates patterns."

"Do you reckon I'll get one of those medals for bravery?"

"Do you ever have one of those moments where suddenly you understand everything?"

"A cute guy like you wouldn't last a day in jail."

"I really want to apologise for, you know, the massive crime I've committed."

"There are no accidents. Not in this game."

"You're just here as an observer, right?"

"Are you sure you're a policeman?"

"If we wait any longer, the evidence could be destroyed!"

"I spend every working hour I can here. The dead have become my family."

"You're a cop? Why the hell would you become a cop?"

"I'm in charge of you, and I still like you enough to give you one good piece of advice: drop it."

"Serial killers are not fascinating! They're not evil geniuses! Most are merely opportunists!"

"Why am I being interrogated? I'm supposed to be the damn policeman!"

"Could someone be deluded enough to believe they killed even if they didn't?"

[musical-attorney]

Lemme rant for a quick second bc omg. (Spoilers for Phoenix wright AA, Justice For All (briefly), Trials and Tribulations (briefly), Apollo Justice AA, and Duel Destinies)

So I just got done playing Duel Destinies, right? And I appreciated the experience, the music was great, Athena was great, the Klavier callback was great, and so on. DO YOU KNOW WHAT WASN'T GREAT?! THE FACT THAT THEY WON'T MENTION KRISTOPH GAVIN EVEN ONCE.

Now I understand this is pretty much a non issue in terms of general gameplay but it's a HUGE issue in terms of story!! Like, I understand that they're probably not trying to spoil the past game for any new players (even though I'm not sure who starts at DD but whatever) but that's not even an excuse because in Justice for All, they outright said Manfred Von Karma was in jail and dead!

Furthermore, I wouldn't even be ranting about this in the first place if it was a lesser culprit like Matt Engarde who had zero greater importance in the later series, but Kristoph is objectively the most important culprit in Ace Attorney!! According to Duel Destinies itself, the dark age of the law was started mostly thanks to two events: the UR-1 incident and Phoenix's disbarment. You'd think that someone who contributed to this damn near decade of legal corruption would be mentioned a bit more?!

But no! Literally they dance around this man's name more than Edgeworth does with Phoenix in AAI. Even then, at least he got "that man." Kristoph is treated like everyone collectively forgot about his name and face. Sure, you could argue that they talk about everything he did as vaguely as possible without giving spoilers but that's arguably worse! Duel Destinies full on brought back Klavier, showed a full clip of 3d beanix that the devs put time and effort into modeling, and showed a quick clip of the gramarye trial AND YET NOT ONCE DID THEY TALK ABOUT THE MAN WHO CAUSED IT DIRECTLY!!

Not only is that a cowardly move in the writing room, it's also limiting character growth for multiple characters! I understand that Duel Destinies isn't about Kristoph but instead about introducing Athena as a character, but Turnabout Academy was PRIME TIME to have even a single line about him directly. Klavier, Apollo, and Phoenix were in the same damn room!! Athena could've left for a moment to go find more evidence and the player would get to be in Apollo's POV. And I'm not asking for a whole 5 minute conversation about Kristoph because even I think that'd be a little too much, I'm just asking for the characters to either address him in passing or for Klavier to literally say ANYTHING about his brother at all. They are in the midst of a legal breakdown and they can't have a single line of dialogue about how Klavier strives to undo what Kristoph (and himself by proxy) has done to the legal system?!

No one can tell me that wouldn't give him so much more depth! Same thing goes for Apollo and ESPECIALLY Phoenix! Don't get me started on Phoenix. Honestly, I'd think he'd have the most to say about the man who literally ruined his life for 7 years but apparently not! Apparently seeing black psyche locks on your employee that you've only seen ONE OTHER TIME on ONE OTHER GUY doesn't warrant a flashback or something!

Again, I genuinely wouldn't be so pissed off if this was about Matt Engarde or Dahlia Hawthorne or something, but love him or hate him, Kristoph is a vital culprit in the Ace Attorney series as a whole. Without him, there'd be no 7 year gap, Trucy wouldn't have gotten adopted by Phoenix, The Magical Turnabout probably wouldn't play the same, the concept of black psyche locks would only show up in Duel Destinies, Klavier would be a shallow character, and probably even more aspects depending on what angle you look at it from/how the player interprets the effects of Turnabout Trump and Turnabout Succession.

Maybe this is a non-issue and I'm ranting for nothing. Maybe I'm biased because Kristoph is my favorite character in the entire series. I don't know. But what I do know is that the way Duel Destinies piggybacks off of Kristoph's actions and cannot be bothered to actually address the elephant in the room is actually disgusting. It's like talking about the "I Have a Dream" speech and then not saying who gave it. And I just feel sad for the character development that could've been with Apollo, Klavier, and Phoenix. But I get it. Duel Destinies is Athena's game. So why beat a dead horse?

[tinfoil-jones]

Hey what would happened if Stan didn't cut their twin bonds? (You know the angst potential is big lol)

Let's first look at the reason Stan severed it; he didn't want Ford to feel what dying felt like. But lets say the twin bond didn't manifest last minute like it did in the story - the reason it manifested in the first place is because Stan asked Bill to tell Ford that he loved him if he ever asked about him (Caryn told Ford later on that to manifest the bond you had to remember how much you love the other person). But maybe this time he didn't humour Bill at all and just ignored whatever Bill was saying.

Ford would have had a massive panic attack for somewhere between 5-12 minutes, it would have stopped abruptly once Stan's heart started again, but he definitely would have been shaken up because he didn't have a history of panic attacks and he hadn't been doing or thinking about anything particularly stressful at that moment.

This time he would have listened to Caryn's full phone call instead of hanging up on her because he wanted to ask her if he'd ever had episodes like that when he was young, and he supposed he could bear having to listen about whatever harebrained scheme of Stanley's she was about to tell him about.

But she tells him through tears that Stanley died in a car accident and please Stanford won't you go to his funeral, Shermie can't make it and your father can't handle it.

One of the things the twin bond gives them is the ability to uncannily know when that the other is still alive, even in face of all evidence otherwise.

Ford refuses to believe Stan is dead, he cannot be swayed even though he can't properly explain why (because he didn't know the twin bond was a thing). So he refuses to go to the funeral on principle.

If anything this just makes Ford mad, because he comes up with a theory all on his own that clearly Stan must've faked his death so internally he's like Really Stanley, you faked you own death? Did you do it for sympathy? Did you hope I'd show up to your funeral and sob all over the place like some soap opera? Your tricks and manipulation won't work on me.

There's two branches from here; one where Stan does come to Gravity Falls, and one where he does not. This is because there's two unconfirmed theories on why he even came to Gravity Falls; either his broken end of the twin bond was trying to drag him over to it's other half, or the weirdness magnet of Gravity Falls drew him in because as someone who died but came back, and also having a Bill-shaped imprint on his psyche, Stan is an anomaly.

First branch: Let's assume it's the weirdness magnet that brought Stan to Gravity Falls. Just like in the story, Ford comes across him. But instead of planning on initially ignoring him, Ford goes full-on angry and aggressive. So he goes over to Stan and starts demanding why would he ever fake his own death, how could he be so selfish and cruel to do that to their Ma and Shermie. It's not like Ford himself was hurt (in the grieving sense) because again, he always knew Stan was alive. An Amnesiac Stan is just standing there confused as to why this guy is yelling and screaming at him, but his fight/flight/flee response doesn't kick in because as shown before, Stan subconsciously associates Ford with safety and would never assume Ford was going to hurt him in any way.

But this time, he's wrong; Ford does. He throws a punch or something at his midsection because Stan is 'playing dumb' and when Stan crumples over, he doesn't get back up because Ford failed to realize until he looks at his fist and see's it covered in blood that Stan was already injured, and Ford just made it a lot worse (because at the start, Stan had three stab wounds and was implied to have enough blood loss to warrant a blood transfusion).

Now Stan is in the hospital and Fords been arrested for assaulting and hospitalizing a man, and no amount of "wait he's my brother" is getting him out of county jail. Once Stan wakes up, he's going to freak out and run from town entirely, never to be seen again. He'd experience a sense that whatever he was looking for, he can never have (he could only handle rejection so many times without his memories), so he gives up being a wandering vagabond on Earth and probably reaches out to Rick again, and settles down somewhere in space because again, Stan actually had a pretty decent thing going on in space.

Ford would be released from county jail because it's not like the victim is going to press charges seeing as he fled from the hospital, and now his guilt and confusion is just mingling with the anger that didn't go away. So as he usually does, he absolves himself of fault (burying his own guilt and sense of loss deep down where he can just pretend it doesn't exist) and goes back to how his life was before, except now his entire family thinks he's crazy because he insists that Stanley never died so Shermie probably has an even more distant relationship with him than he originally did and the mystery twins never get sent to him. So this time around, he never feels the need to bring Fiddleford back into his life, and his only consistent friend is Bill Cipher who is never forced to respect Fords boundaries and limitations.

Stan would probably be living as a space / multiverse outlaw for about thirty years, and would die for real around the same time the OG series would have started because luck runs out and trouble catches up to you eventually. And then fifty-seven year old Ford, still a lone researcher, gets another panic attack, and when it ends he's hit with the realization, this deep knowing, that Stan is actually dead this time. This time he would ask his no-boundaries-respecting-ass muse what that was about, and since this is the first time Ford ever directly asked Bill what happened to Stan, Bill finally tells him what really happened thirty years ago and Ford is horrified because his brother was legitimately an amnesiac and he chased him away forever.

Second Branch: In this one, the only thing that kept Stan in their dimension / planet in the first place wasn't the weirdness magnet, but his broken bond trying to find it's other half. Without that broken bond, Stan never would have left Rick's side.

And there's no point in getting upset with Bill because… well, he doesn't have a Get Out of Pact Free card, so Bill is just going to continue to drink up his pain because pain is hilarious to Bill and well you didn't care for forty years Fordsy why be upset now?

And not leaving Rick's side would end in disaster because it's like Stan said, he and Rick would either kill each other or get each other killed. And in this case, they go off on some dumb adventure that ends the both of them around the same time Stan should have appeared in Gravity Falls, and Ford goes through the whole 'oh-god-Stan-is-dead' panic attack again. And again, he questions Bill who tells him what actually happens, so everything that just happened in the above scenario is speedrun, except now Ford can spend the rest of his life being sad about Stan instead of being mad about it like he was in the above scenario. Because Bill said it himself, Ford would be haunted if Stan died.

So yeah, Stan severing the bond was the best-case-scenario. The 'moral' of the story I guess you could call it, is Stanford and Stanley learning how to love each other again, or at least seeing selfless acts of love from each other.

Stan severing the twin bond was a selfless act of love on his part. His greatest fear and worst nightmare was dying alone and yet, without hesitation, still chose to sever the only connection he had because he didn't want Ford to suffer.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Listen can you make one with blackmask and the other rogues find out that some random college student made a dedicated sub reddit fan account that just posts random supportive messages and borderline wtf how did that bitch know what i ate last night or what body wash I use 😂

www.wtf-

When did the Internet get so scary?

TheRiddlerLover88: Convinced my parents to paint my room Riddler green 😍

Quackingduckquakes: If there's no Penguin fans in the world then I am dead x

Quittakingallthegoodusernames: spank me Two-Face and then send me to jail, thanking you.

HarleyQueen04: AYO, I heard Roman Sionis uses a new cologne. Internet do your thing, I need to spray down all my clothes with it x

N0turfanboi: low-key penguin can bend me over and-

It was a nightmare. Stuff of pure nightmares.

IamBatman96: guys, I found the same jacket Roman Sionis wears.

Igivemetheick: send pics or it didn't happen.

IamBatman96 sent an image.

Igivemetheick: ...omw.

Candyblues92: wait if I burn one half of it would I have Two-Face's jacket? Asking for a friend x

There truly was such a thing as too much Internet and no one dared to go too far into the rabbit hole.

Black Mask: He hated that the most commonly asked question on his thread was where he lived. He also hated how many were dangerously close to figuring it out. Apparently, triangulating his businesses and club gives a rough idea where he lived. Apparently he had to move because he just read one of these crazy bitches just said they wanted to feed him pie with their hair in it. He took out his phone sending an account URL to one of his goons. 'Make sure this one never finds me.' He'll appreciate the support...from the other side of the planet for safety.

The Riddler: The Riddler had hoped for some kind of decent intellectual discourse to laugh at. Instead he got nightmares. He saw a lot of discourse about his fingers. About how long they were and somehow that brought comments about how...skilled...he must be in various things. Then people were volunteering as tribute- whatever that meant- but then someone said. 'BRB, writing the fanfiction right now x' and that comment got too many likes for comfort. 'No man has pulled off green before the Riddler and no one will pull it off after the Riddler.' Finally the voice of reason has arrived. The riddler soon types up a response. No one knows its him but he'll argue with everyone until everyone sees things his way. It's practically a public service. He's educating the masses more than the pathetic excuse of an education system ever will.

Victor Zsasz: "I'd polish that bald head any day of the week, daddy. Hm. Good to know." Victor said aloud as he read. After some scrolling, he cracked a smile. "Aww SniperKnife really loves me." He never makes himself known on the Internet. Never cared for it beyond the occasional funny pet video. However, that username popped up all the time. It made him smile. Even on the hardest of days he could rely on SniperKnife to cheer him on. He read another. "What that gun do tho? ...well someone struggled in English class." He hummed. "Poor kid doesn't even know what a gun does."

Two-Face: First of all- he and Roman don't shop in the same place and how dare those little assho- ahem. He was a little salty after someone started a thread asking what the difference was between Two-Face and Black Mask and all anyone coukd really come up with was that Two-Face was burned and Black Mask...wore a mask. Which turned into people questioning what made everyone sure that they weren't the same person if one was masked. That sparked a debate before someone pointed out their different heights. That Two-Face was taller. That then turned into people analysing the heights of doors and other surrounding objects to determine each person's height. Then someone through off the conclusion by mentioning stilted shoes. He didn't really care who supported him or not. He found the public to be flimsy anyway so he never really notices the regulars.

Penguin: Who the hell started the rumour that Oswald was raised by penguins? And why is it STICKING!? The next thing was how big was a certain appendage and someone did some anatomical research to determine very much in his favour. That was definitely his favourite part of the conversation. He chuckled. "Oh Babycakes224, you're this close to getting a job." There was a pause. "Oh wait this one wants to buy me a boat!" "Eh?" A bartender asked. "I want to motorboat him-" "boss that's not what that means!"

[tomssexdoll]

part 2 to the night we met because I need a happy ending and you guys do too

The media was filled with Toms accident, papparazzi had already taken photos, plastering pictures of his staker walking away from the scene.

Little did they know I was still in hospital with Tom. 20 minutes later they found a pulse again, by some miracle he had survived.

I sighed in relief, my heart thumping out of my chest. He slowly woke up, groggy and extremely tired. They gave him some fluids and food and treated him.

After 3 weeks he got better, we returned home and he had a slight limp, still recovering from a nasty shot wound. It had punctured an important artery but was 2mm from killing him completely.

We turned on the news and saw her face burn into the screen, a mugshot of her, her eyes evil, full of rage.

I turned it off, not wanting to see her ever again, flashes of that night haunting my mind. I turned to Tom and just held him close, his weak arms wrapping around me softly.

"I'm here baby..it's ok" he whispered into my hair, I started to sob, just like I did at the accident. Tears flowed from my eyes and onto his shirt, drenching it completely.

"Oh baby..don't cry" he winced, pulling me closer and kissing the top of my head, "I was so scared..you being pronounced dead for 20 minutes was the worst time of my life, the longest 20 minutes I'd ever experienced.." I sniffled, looking up at him and holding his face in my hands, needing to touch him desperatly, feel his skin on mine.

"I don't want to lose you again" I cried out "I need to feel your skin on mine to feel safe again, feel content" he nodded and just held me for hours, whispering sweet nothings into my ear, reassuring me nothing bad was ever going to happen again, that she was far away from us and wouldn't be getting out of jail.

The band decided to take a break from touring and cancelled the last city they were going to play at. From then on we upgraded our security, getting bodyguards and therapy for the both of us. Some nights I'd wake up from horrendus nightmares of the night. Sometimes it was just her face, some was just him being slowly dragged away, but all would end in me screaming and waking up in a cold sweat, Tom having to hold me for a full hour before I was ready to sleep again.

It was scary, the whole situation traumatized me but I was glad I had Tom, if I lost him the world would stop turning, nothing would matter anymore. When I'm not with him, I hold that photo I took of him that night close, texting him every 5 minutes to see if he's ok.

tags: @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @bkaulitzlover @ballhair @estxkios @charliesgoodboy @ge-billsgf