#that give me anxiety related to the rain right now

[medicinemane]

It's amazing how much having the roofer who put my roof in and have a direct monetary incentive to finding something wrong with my roof telling me it's fine other than some bruising lets me calm my anxiety about the rain

I'm still worried about whatever's causing the water to leak around that pipe (only when it rains so... I wouldn't think it's plumbing related), but... I can put that one aside if I know it's not a problem with the roof

It's just amazing though what solid information can do

[luveline]

hi bae, just wondering if you could write something like roommate!marauders and reader with anxiety where everytime one of them goes out she gets really worried that’s somethings gonna happen to them and waits up for them and just feels like a burden when she calls to make sure they’re alright and just general anxiety things and them being so sweet about it

love u

love u too♡

cw death related anxiety

“Hey, Remus?” you ask tentatively. 

Your housemate lays across the sofa with his dinner half eaten on the coffee table and a book tented on his chest. He's ignoring both in favour of the television, a rerun of Family Fortunes turning the sofa cushions and his pale skin a light blue. 

He drags his blue-tinged gaze from the subtitles to your frowning. “What's wrong?” he asks. You're surprised he heard you over the sound of Sirius’ stereo echoing down the stairs. 

“Where did James say he was going?” 

“I think he said he'd be at the gym for an hour now he's not in work. Want me to call him?” 

“Why would you call him?” you ask, instead of saying yes, please, like you want to. 

“You're worrying again.” 

They know how you are. It doesn't mean they have to understand —it isn't logical to think James is hurt because he hasn't been home today yet, and none of them are required to humour you in your worry, but they always do. 

You feel sick as he takes his phone from his pocket. You've convinced yourself that James is dead, that his car curled around a bend too quickly on the drive in the rain, or that something happened at the gym, or that he never made it there at all, had a fit in the car park outside of work. Even as you think it, you know it's implausible, unlikely, just a repetitive negative anxiety worming its way into your head, but you can't make it stop. 

James doesn't answer the first time, which doesn't help, and then when he does answer the second time you're waiting for bad news. Remus smiles as he talks. “Hello? Jamie?”

James doesn't need speak phone to be heard. “Remus! I'm at the gym, what's happening?”

Remus wrinkles his nose. “What's happening? Since when do you say that?”

“What's up?” James corrects. “I'm on my way out of the gym, can you talk? You can keep me company while I drive.” 

Remus holds out the phone to you. 

“Remus?” James asks into the room. You take the phone before he can hang up, and decide to be honest, but the words get stuck like toffee between your teeth. “Hello?” 

“Hey,” you say, sending Remus a grateful look. He moves over to make room on settee for you, and his arm wraps familiarly around your shoulders as you settle in. He turns his attention back to his show. 

“Oh my god hey, angel. Remus okay?” 

“I was making him ring you, sorry. I thought… you know what I'm like. It's getting late and you aren't home, and I know I don't have the right to pester you about where you are.”

“Yeah you do,” James says, his voice louder, like his mouth is very close to the microphone. “Course you do. I'd worry too if you weren't home yet.” 

“I do this all the time, though.”

Just last week he and Sirius were out late and you'd panicked that they'd both been hurt. You stayed up until almost one in the morning waiting for them to get home from a music shop in the city, each minute after eleven like a shot of ice water in your veins. Sirius jumped when he saw you waiting in the living room, but then he'd given you a hug and rubbed at your shoulders roughly. You didn't wait up for us, did you? 

“It's worse lately, yeah?” James asks. You hum non-committal, and Remus gives you a squeeze in typical Remus fashion. You hadn't even realised he was listening, but his support makes this easier. “You're worrying about us more.”

“Yeah,” you say. “I don't know why. And it sucks because I know it's making me a lot to deal with.” 

“I would one thousand percent prefer it if you rang me then sat there worrying. That would make me feel better. And Remus and Sirius feel the same way, okay? We could all stand to ring each other a bit more anyways.” 

You rub your nose into your hand. “Sorry,” you mumble. 

“There's no need to be. I love you, ‘n I just want you to be happy. If a phone call can make that happen then why shouldn't you do it? And it's not like they're a big imposition, I like talking to you. We all do.”

James is home from the gym what could only be ten minutes later, and he leans over the back of the settee to kiss your forehead chasely. “Here we are, all safe and well.” 

“You haven't seen Sirius yet,” Remus points out.

“I can bloody well hear him. What is he listening to? Is that U2?” James shakes his head in disgust. “I can see why you were so worried I wasn't coming home. Let me go put a stop to that immediately.” 

[sillygoosealert]

Both arms cradle you now (Before you're wrapped in cloth)

ANGST, DEATH, comfort and fluff in the beginning !! (trust me..)

There is no one to relate to you. You feel so much and let it fill you, eventually becoming your only defying trait. Some even knew you as the girl who will always be forgotten at best and Sukuna's second option at worst. If you were forgotten, you were just like others. If you were a second option, you just weren't good enough.

But as your thoughts consume you, knowing the people around you stare with something close, but not quite pity. Someone sits beside you while you're self-loathing in the tea house.

It was raining not too long ago, hence why you chose to get under somewhere covered instead of the many benches and grassy spots across the garden.

When you look beside you, you see a radiant girl with a smile that stretches ear to ear. Saying anything else about her appearance is difficult, as trying to remember her face is just a blur.

She was close to being the Great Sukuna's second wife but came just 3rd place when next to you and Haruko. In your opinion, she was better than you. Loads more optimistic than you if you were asked to be more specific.

She was humming something absentmindedly, tapping her fingers against her lap.

"Did you ever think about your future with Sukuna? With and without him having a seconded wife," There's no eye contact when she asks that, just more humming and admiring the wet landscape.

"A little. But I don't have a say in how most things go, so I don't get my hopes up."

"I think you have more of a say than you realize," She pauses before going on.

"The garden always looks so pretty when it rains, more comforting." You snort at that, knowing you wouldn't be out here if you knew it would rain.

"I'm glad you have something positive to say about it. I think it's too melancholy," Relaxing a little, you take another look at her, soaking in the smile still plastered on her face.

"Did you ever fantasize about being the wife of Sukuna?" At the moment, you immediately want to take back your words, but you're glad you asked. It's nice to keep talking to her.

"Much more than I'd tell. I wanted a cute room with a baby and a garden just for the three of us. I even picked out baby names- boy and girl."

"Sounds like you had it planned out."

"We did. If only I could know what I know now," She says with a shakey voice, and when you look over, her eyes are wet with tears; that's your clue not to pry anymore.

"I notice your eyes gloss over when he's with Haruko. I want you to know I see you," Now she's looking at you, and you bring yourself to look right back at her.

"Do you know what it's like to mourn something and not know what it is at the same time?" You choke out.

"Yes, I do," She smiles at that, and while your eyes can't reciprocate it, you smile back.

"I'm not sure how someone with so many eyes can't see he's hurting you. I don't think I could ever treat you so negligently if you were my wife," That makes you giggle, in turn letting a few tears fall from your eyes.

"Really?"

"Really. I wouldn't take you for granted by getting a second wife," Those words remind you that there was a time when it was just you and Sukuna. Nothing in his behavior has changed off the top of your head, but seeing him so easily give that affection to someone else still stings.

"I think I need to go. Goodbye," With that, she stands up, not adorning a big smile anymore, but a more standard look for someone who has gone through nothing but hurt. You probably won't see her anymore, as the look in her eyes tells you something has died- most likely her hope. It reminds you of going through so many remedies for anxiety only to realize it won't go away. Nothing stopped your overthinking, and nothing most likely will.

You make your way to Sukuna's room, now with a new perspective on how you see yourself.

But your thoughts get cloudy when you're sat with him in the room.

"I don't want to be with you," the words come out much blunter than you meant them to, but he responds before you can say anything else.

"Wherever you have found this new confidence, leave it," He gets up to leave.

"You have another wife. Are you that selfish you must have two?" This makes him turn around.

"Selfish? You have everything you could ever need. You dare to call me selfish?" He scoffs, getting closer to you.

"The nightstand that was custom made for you, in my room? The paintings across the halls, for you? The garden I had made for you?"

"Was I the one in mind, or were those choices made after you weren't satisfied with one wife? I never wanted half of the things forced into my hands. I wanted you to listen to me. You used to," And with that, he grabs you off the bed and shoves you to the ground.

"I still have to listen to you. Name one time I didn't."

"I asked to spend a day with you in the garden. I spent the day with you and Haruko in the garden."

"You got what you asked. Give a better example and a reason I should listen."

"I asked for pink Daisies by the fountain in the garden. You put the white ones, Haruko, couldn't stop raving over by the fountain in the front and the pink ones in the back." His eyes widen, and he opens his mouth.

"You're jealous," It sounds like he's in disbelief, but you know he's mocking you in his own way.

"Of course I'm jealous! I wasn't enough for you, so you got another wife. Now I'm seconded place to the one person who's supposed to love me."

"I don't love you," This comes out more as a confused question than a statement.

"I hate you so much, Ryomen."

When he goes to grab your head, your first reaction is to cover your face. But as time slows and the grip on your hair tightens, you realize you were wrong.

Sukuna never loved you. This wasn't him falling out of love with you for someone else. He liked you, so he kept you around- but he loved Haruko, so he wanted her to stay with him.

And when your head is bashed repeatedly into the desk he got for her, your last few conscious moments are spent realizing that. It was silly of you to think anything else.

Your knees buckle beneath your deadweight, forcing your body into an uncomfortable praying position; your hands stretched out in front, giving your head a soft spot to rest on.

Even in death, all you can do is pray for a different outcome. But all you can do now is wait for your vision to fully become dark as pieces of your skull pierce your brain, effectively killing you in the process.

Sukuna almost doesn't hear Haruko creak open the door, worried after she hears cracking noises. What she didn't know was what she heard was your head splintering. But what she knows now is despite having two pairs of arms and two sets of eyes, Ryomen Sukuna only needs one wife to be complete.

this took longer than I'd like admit, I MIGHT go on a break for like 3 days because I am getting worse but I am getting anxiety meds so if they help more fluff!!! but if they don't more angst and ill probably crawl into a hole and die.

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲!

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, r's birthday party organised by flo herself (lol), flo and r being sooo in love (i want what they have), surprise birthday party, billieee

warning(s): r having a 'rough' childhood (not much details tho), mentions of anxiety and stress and overthinking (?), grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 1.9 k

requested?: yes, you can find the request right here

note: NONNIE, I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG. I hope you had an amazing birthday, full of joy. And I also hope that you like this, as much as a loved writing your request. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you all enjoy, happy reading, and happy birthday or very merry unbirthday! Lots of love, M <3

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

The rain was pouring, your coffee was growing cold and your eyes were getting heavier by the second, but you just couldn't take your eyes off of your book.

"Are you done yet?" she complained.

"Almost," she huffed at your response, the same answer she had been getting the last 30 minutes.

"Yeah, you keep saying that," she wanted to sound annoyed at you but she just couldn’t.

"I swear I'm almost done," you chuckled.

"You know what? I'm just gonna—" she said as she took the book off of your hands.

"I wasn't done," you scoffed.

"And now I'm gonna get over here," she sat on your lap.

You smiled at her, impossible for you to stay ‘mad’ at her for more than just a few seconds.

"Hi."

"Hi."

She pecked your lips, the simple action sending a shiver up your spine even though it wasn't the first time that she did it.

She went to peck your lips once again, but this time your lips captured hers, while your hands at her hips pushed her closer to your body. Florence moaned into your lips as she felt her chest being pushed against yours. Your soft warm hands slowly crawled around her back, setting her skin on fire. Your book long forgotten.

“Wait,” she said, almost breathless. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah, sure,” you said, your lips moving to the soft skin on her neck.

She threw her head back, giving you more access, trying to hold back her moans and focus on what she wanted to tell you.

“I’m serious, Y/n.”

“I’m listening,” you mumbled into her skin.

“Your birthday’s coming up,” she breathed out.

The mention of your birthday made you stop for half a second, but then you gathered yourself up, shrugged all the memories away and decided to focus on marking Florence’s soft skin. But your small action didn’t go unnoticed by your girlfriend.

“Yeah, it seems so… what about it?” you wanted to kiss her so she could just drop the subject, but you knew she meant well.

Florence’s brows furrowed, it was your birthday for god’s sake, and she felt like it was just her who was excited about that special day.

“Well… I was thinking,” she cupped your cheek with her warm hands, forcing your eyes to meet hers, “we could invite everyone over, maybe I can cook some pizza and we can do karaoke and…,” she sounded so thrilled that it hurt having to cut her off.

“Flor, it’s okay. We don’t have to do any of that,” you grabbed her hands and left a sweet kiss on the back of them. “We can just chill here, order something and watch some films.”

“But it’s your birthday and I wanted—.”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

Florence stared at you for a minute, trying to read your thoughts. She figured that your mood changed and your birthday were, somehow, related.

“You don’t want to celebrate your birthday, do you?” she quietly asked, as her fingertips transcend small circles on the back of your hand.

“I mean… I just…” you huffed, clearly annoyed at this whole conversation.

“What is it, babe?”

"I just…" you let out the breath you had been holding onto, blinking the tears away that you hadn't even noticed they were about to spill.

Florence kissed your forehead in an attempt of offering you some comfort, she didn't know that your birthday was a sensible topic for you to talk about. She waited, patiently, for you to talk, giving you time to gather yourself up, and letting you know she was right there for you.

"Back then we didn't have enough money, we weren’t poor but we always were short on it. So a birthday party just wasn’t on our plans, but mum always made sure to cook my favourite and I always had a great time,” you smiled at the memory.

“Y/n…”

"I loved those special meals, but deep down it made me sad. All the kids on my block had all these amazing birthday parties and I just had a family dinner like any other day,” you laughed, but there was not a trace of humour in your tone.

“But I’m grateful for everything my parents did for me, I don’t want to sound ungrateful,” you shook your head, emphasising your words.

“You’re not ungrateful, Y/n. You could never be.”

You breathed in, pushing all the messy emotions away, nodding to her words. “So, I don’t need everyone to come over, or you cooking pizza for everyone or karaoke,” you chuckled.

“But… but you deserve it,” she tried.

“It’s okay, Flo,” you pecked her lips, and a second later you yawed. “Well, I’m going to sleep now,” you wrapped yourself in the soft warm blankets. “Don't stay up late, missy. Love you,” was the last thing you said before finally closing your eyes, leaving Florence with her own thoughts.

The only thought on her mind was that you deserved the happiest of birthdays someone could ever have. She decided that it was up to her to give you the birthday party you could never have had as a child. She didn’t blame your parents for such an arrangement in the past, she understood they did their best with what they were capable of. But she was there now, and she was going to make sure to give you everything you deserved, and the least she could do was to throw you the best birthday party she could ever organise.

She smiled to herself as she watched you sleep, a million ideas rushing to her mind, picturing you with a big smile on your face when the day came.

[…]

It wasn’t easy for her, especially with so little time left for your birthday. But she wasn’t going to give up so easily, not when it was about you. Florence had only two weeks to organise the best birthday party you could possibly have.

The date was already set, the same day as your birthday, which was a Friday, so it was perfect. Given the short time, she had no other alternative than to host the party in your shared home, but it was fine, it was just about right for everyone she had planned to invite over.

Raffie, her little sister, helped her out with the digital invitations and they were already sent, every guest confirming their attendance, which brought a smile to Florence’s face. On the invitation Florence —and Raffie— clarified that everyone should be right on time, so they could be all there when you walk in the door after work and surprise you.

The food was the easiest part of it. She gathered Toby, Arabella and Raffie, and the four of them got to work, and in no time they had that problem solved. Pizzas and sandwiches were made, and were ready to be defrosted as soon as Friday came. And lots of different cakes were ordered, one of them wishing you the happiest of birthdays on top.

Now, what was left was convincing you that she wasn’t up to something. Hiding this little secret was a bit hard for Florence, she wanted to come clean to you, she felt terrible about lying to you about your birthday. But she knew deep down that you would love the surprise. So she did her best and kept her mouth shut. And luckily for the both of you, she managed it pretty well. With some help of Raffie, of course.

[…]

Florence was sweating, even though it was cold outside.

She was getting nervous as the time of your arrival came closer. Everyone that was supposed to be present was already there, which was a good thing that gave Florence some comfort. But she was worried about something else.

“What if she doesn’t like it?”

“Flossie—,” Toby tried but her sister cut him off.

“She didn’t want this,” she shook her head in disapproval of herself. “She told me she wanted something simple.”

“Y/n will love this,” Raffie tried to calm her sister.

“She will hate me, she will definitely hate me after this. I shouldn’t have—,” she cut herself as she heard the breaks of your car outside. A second later Billie barked at her, as if confirming you were there.

Her eyes winded as her heart skipped a beat, which Raffie took notice of. “Hey!” she grabbed her sister by the shoulders. “She is going to love this, I swear. Her mum told me, okay? You are good.”

Raffie’s words sinked into her. Florence took a deep breath, nodding to herself and got the last step of her plan in motion.

“Okay, everyone at your place, please. Y/n’s here,” she said as she moved closer to the front door, turning off all the lights on her way. “Don’t say anything until the lights are on, and remember it’s: Surprise, Y/n. Okay?” she heard everyone humming in agreement. “Okay,” she confirmed to herself, getting into her position, straightening her skirt with her sweaty hands.

She felt Billie right next to her, getting ready to surprise you as well. Sensing her owner’s unstillnes, Billie nudged Florence’s leg, with the tip of her nose, trying to comfort her. Florence smiled at her dog in the darkness, taking in one last breath as she heard you unlocking the door.

“Flo—? What the—?” you said, confused, as you opened the door to only find a darkened home.

Your hand went to turn on the light, but Florence beat you to it.

“Surprise, Y/n!” the loud cheering straddled you, but it also brought the biggest smile to your face and tears to the corner of your eyes.

“Happy birthday, baby!” Florence said excitedly, leaving a kiss on your cheek. Some of her anxiety washed away as she watched you smile, her heartbeat finally beating properly.

In a sudden movement, you grabbed her and brought her into you, hugging her tightly, as if not wanting her to slip off from your arms ever.

“I can’t believe you did this whole thing for me,” you whisper into her ear, as your eyes trailed all over the place, taking in all the details.

There were balloons everywhere in the shade of your favourite colour, some shiny fringe backdrops hanging from the ceiling, big shiny balloons in the shape of your new age number, and most importantly, everyone you cared for was there. Florence even succeeded in bringing your grandma. And your heart became even warmer when you saw Florence’s family as well, her parents, her siblings and their partners and, obviously, granzo Pat.

She pulled away from the hug, much to her dismay, and cupped your cheeks with her warm hands. “Of course, I did, silly,” there was so much love in her eyes, that you swear you could have melted right there. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you smiled at her.

Billie nudged your leg, wanting to get your attention, and she slowly howled to you, which you took as a ‘happy birthday’.

“Why, thank you, missy moo,” you said as she looked up to you and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“Y/n!” you heard your name being called.

“Go,” Florence pushed you forwards. “Everyone wants to say ‘hi’ to you.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you smiled at that thought.

Everyone was here for you and only you, you felt like your heart could burst out of your chest from all the happiness you were feeling.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[kevin-the-bruyne]

Came across your meta posts on bl, and dude, same brain. I find the kafabe of it all so fascinating. The theater. The idea of one's self as a performance. The blending of your fictitious self and your irl self. The way they're all low key lives of an irl fake dating au. The psychology and sociology of it all makes me want to do long term studies and if I ever try to talk about it I either get shut down by normies who don't want to hear my bl ramblings or by bl fans who don't want me to rain on their parade.

On a somewhat related note, you mentioned you used to be into znn and I find what's going on with them, and the behavior of their more problematic stand FASCINATING right now

I want to peer into the folds of Joong Archen's brain, I want to study every corner of it. I am pretty sure Dunk is the love of his life and I am tempted to even guarantee that it's all staged. It's why I like this word so much better than fake because fake implies deceit. Currently obsessed with Joong so I brought them up but they're all like that to a very great extent.

It's a performance and boy do these guys tend to love their little self blorbos. Like there's an astounding amount of buy in from the actors themselves for so many of these become their own thing. The drama, the intricate unspoken rules, its like watching peacocks dance.

zeenunew gives me a lot of anxiety because no one should be that deep into the fanservice like I love them but not even a real married couple can hold a candle to the fantasy of their relationship. I'm glad they're going strong and would love them to continue for as long as its beneficial to them but I have a minor paranoid streak too.

[i-would-have-come-for-you]

Can't love you in the dark (Chapter 2: The night we met)

Chapter 2: The night we met

When the night was full of terror

And you had not touched me yet

The night we met (Lord Huron)

___________

Nights were always chilly in Suna, accompanied by sweltering days. It had taken Hinata some time to get used to after the unpredictable rain showers of Konoha’s metropolitan. But after 4 years, it felt natural for her to withstand the warmth of the desert city.

Still, the nights never failed to give her goose bumps with the chilly breeze like right now. She let her feet touch the floor boards as she moved to close the window she had forgotten. Instead of closing it, she parted the curtain and looked at the dark night outside.

The normally noisy neighborhood seemed deserted at this hour, almost like no one else existed there except for her. A chill went through her, unrelated to the cold. She admonished herself at the thought.

She didn’t need to scare herself.

She glanced at the wall clock, which showed it to be 1 a.m. She sighed tiredly before closing the windows. “Why can’t I sleep?” she asked no one in particular as she decided to leave her room to make a cup of chamomile tea.

Talking to herself had become a habit she developed with no one but a toddler to talk to at home. Speaking of her son, she decided to check on Daiki before making tea. It was a habit of sorts, to check on her son throughout the night, as if he’d vanish if she didn’t.

There had been a lot on anxiety-induced sleepless nights in the last 4 years. The stress related to managing her job, taking care of her son and juggling with paying the utilities that came with a neighborhood as safe and nice as hers- it kept her up sometimes.

And sometimes, she was just lonely- missing so many people.

The sound of Daiki’s heartbeat always grounded her. He was the reminder of everything she was working for; her baby boy, the light of her life.

She moved quietly into the room next to hers. Walking over to the small bed, she looked at her son who slept with quiet, even breaths. She ran a hand to sweep her child’s dark hair off his forehead. He barely stirred.

She smiled as she leaned down to peck his cheek. He was such a deep sleeper, totally unlike her. He’d be energetic as usual in the morning tomorrow whereas she’d barely be holding it together thanks to sleep evading her right now.

Hinata didn’t know why she couldn’t sleep. She just had an anxious feeling in her heart. In Daiki’s green night light, she checked all his windows to ensure they were closed before making her way out, closing the door behind her softly.

“Get it together,” she whispered to herself when the anxious feeling returned. The hallway light was on and she stopped in front of the hallway mirror for a second to look at herself.

The red silk pajama set she’d splurged on last year looked bright against the pale of her skin. Her shoulder length hair was disheveled from the tossing and turning in bed. She looked thin, but still her curves made her look healthier than she felt.

She straightened her tank top and shorts before padding towards her kitchen, where the light was still on.

Strange. She must have forgotten to turn it off before turning in for bed.

Her heart stopped when she turned into the kitchen. In the light of the kitchen, the silhouette of a man was visible, sitting at the kitchen table.

She abruptly thought of the gun she kept in her bedside drawer. Before she could act on the instinct to get it, something familiar about the man’s profile nagged at her mind.

She stopped by the doorway as the man, sitting straight, turned his head to face her.

If she was scared before, she felt her blood turn to ice when she looked at his face. She felt herself growing faint as she staggered a few steps forward and gripped the counter for support while her lips parted in shock. The man’s face was expressionless as he stood from the chair to face her.

It felt like she was trapped in a nightmare, staring at a phantom from somewhere long ago. Her heart thundered and she struggled to draw in a breath.

The man in the immaculate striped suit did not look at all fazed. He did not behave as the intruder he was. No, he simply looked at her before raking his eyes all over her frame.

Finally, her husband met her gaze and smiled the way he used to smile at his enemies to put the fear of God in them. “Hello sweetheart. Did you miss me?”

_________

Author notes: And the story continues. What do you think is going on ;)? Let me know how you're liking the story so far. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Please do leave a comment and reblog to share the story and increase the exposure as it motivates me to keep writing SasuHina in this dying fandom.

If you want to read this story on Wattpad, the link is here:

[justkeepwalkingnothinghere]

Luz, Willow and Raine for the ask!

I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG MY BRAIN REFUSED TO WORK!

Luz:

Sexuality HC: I could feel her bi disaster energy long before Thanks To Them.

OTP: LUMITY ALL THE WAY! I’m gonna be in a wheelchair hopefully 70 years from now shouting ‘Lumity for life!’, recalling the kiss once more!

Brotp: Luz and Hunter Noceda. End of story. Noceda-Clawthorne-Whispers if Eda and Raine adopt Luz at the end.

Notp: Lunter. Also end of story.

First HC that pops to my head: Unfortunately I got nothing.

Favorite line: Literally everything she’s ever said because it is impossible to choose and it would be a sin to do so. I LOVE HER SM!!

One way in which I relate to her: Nearly everything. The nerdiness, the cheery attitude, almost everything she does and says is exactly what I do/say, we would 100% be BFFs if we met, and I relate to her more than any other fictional character in existence. I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT HER OKAY?

Things that give me second hand embarrassment: Despite never experiencing it myself, I could feel her pain throughout the Tunnel of Love. I could feel it deep in my soul.

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave: Give this girl all the cinnamon in the world, cause she deserves it!

Willow:

Sexuality HC: I’ve never really thought about that until now. And my brain’s got nothing.

OTP: (chanting) Huntlow! Huntlow! Huntlow! Huntlow!

Brotp: WILLOW, LUZ AND GUS BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE!!

Notp: Boschlow. No j-just no. And I have to ask…why? Why would you do this?

First HC that pops to my head: Once again, got nothing. (I’m not very good with headcanons)

Favorite line: “These past few months have been weird but look at all the new memories we have now. It's been nice to finally spend some time together.” -Thanks To Them

One way in which I relate to her: This girl’s determination is ON POINT! When she sets out to do something, she does not give up!

Things that give me second hand embarrassment: One word: Nothing. Mostly because I can’t think right now.

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave: One of the sweetest cinnamon rolls in the Demon Realm!

Raine:

Sexuality HC: Always been torn between Bi and Lesbian. And it looks like I’m never going to choose.

OTP: YOU KNOW IT, YOU LOVE IT, IT’S THE LEGENDARY RAEDA!! MY OTP, THE OTP, IT IS THE BEST!!

Brotp: Raine and Darius! I need their history from Hexside! I need to see them get a little bit more on each other’s nerves! And I would LOVE to see Raine and Luz bonding! Like Raine teaching her bard magic and Luz teaching them glyphs! Hopefully we get a little bit of that in the finale.

Notp: Nothing comes to mind, unless you count Raine and Terra. After everything Terra has done to them, keep them apart for the rest of their lives!

First HC that pops to my head: THEY. ARE. SO. SNUGGLY!! A complete snuggle bug! And I love this!

Favorite line: Tied between “How’d you become the Owl Lady with your stage fright?” and “Is it so unbelievable that I wanted to keep you safe? But in typical Eda fashion, you’re not going to stop until you make things right.”

One way in which I relate to them: I know the pain that comes with the social anxiety. I can feel it deep in my soul every time.

Things that give me second hand embarrassment: “Trying to…mute the magic of our hearts? -distressed groan-“ Ooowwww…

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave: THE SWEETEST ROLL ON THE ISLES I LOVE THEM TO DEATH!!

This was actually pretty fun to think about, ngl! Thanks for the ask!

[gaywiththesauce]

Hi hello sorry it’s not Wednesday anymore BUT. I remember you saying at one point that you were listening to your Giyuu playlist? (am I remembering right?) and I’m. so unbelievably normal and was wondering what your top 5 songs you associate with Giyuu are. Or top 10. Or top one million. Ok thank you sorry goodbye again_(:3 」∠)_

Hi Rose👋!! welcome back to my dropbox lmao

okok so so I don't remember saying that but it's totally possible that I did. I think about blorbo a lot so I think I mentioned it

These won't be very descriptive because many of the songs are just related to emotions or specific scenarios so you'll have my 4am ramblings. lil warning, I'm a swiftie, but I have a variety of other different music tastes too. here's my top 20ish because I'm obsessed with my blorbo Giyuu Tomioka the Queen

Telephones by Vacations - "my thoughts are crawling, you're all I see" "wherever I go, you'll always be next to me" has massive brain rot energy :) he only sees his love(s) everywhere

Verbatim by Mother Mother - I kinda perceive Giyuu as someone that doesn't conform to gender norms (totally not projecting) but he would totally be unapologetic for his expression. maybe a lil oblivious but not sorry

First Love/Late Spring by Mitski - the lyrics speak for themselves of anxiety that he can't love anyone else because he's too scared to lose them. "please, hurry, leave me, I can't breathe. please don't say you love me."

Long Live (TV) by Taylor Swift - this song is specifically for my fantasy prince/knight au I made and fully fleshed out with Minecraft building and shit. the idea of happy fluffy marriage makes me giggle

Gilded Lily by Cults - self explanatory. sad song. "haven't I given enough?" "always the fool with the slowest heart" (help please he has the slowest heart because his way of communicating isn't verbal and only a very select few understand-)

Daylight by Taylor Swift - "I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden, like daylight" kyogiyuu energy, first impression of Kyojuro's "burning red" but it turns out he's a soft "golden"

Screaming by CHVRCHES - beautiful song. it talks about the past and how time has been stolen. not knowing what side of the coin you're on and if it's wrong or not. good vibes song to look out the window to

New Year's Day by Taylor Swift - SUCH A GOOD MESSAGE SONG! it's all about the tranquility that comes with love and life, how the couple would be there for not just the fun moments but the calm or hard or maybe boring moments. also "please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere"

Money by The Drums - Giyuu would totally want to give back to the world he believes he's stolen from (he's still alive, which is something that he stole from others-) but he has nothing else to give other than hard training and killing demons, saving people when he can

Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol - this one I can't really explain. the build up and release just kinda speaks for itself. it's cathartic and makes you want to jump up and down and rip an air guitar

Don't Let Go by The Ghost Club - "I'm falling off the edge but you never ever let go" another relationship one! who woulda guessed? again, love that lasts because love is not all sunshine. it rains and pours and you have to get an umbrella. very fun to listen to!

The Mute by Radical Face - this was shown to me by a beautiful moot when my one ficlet reminded them of it. it makes sense! "if you only listen with your ears, you can't get in [my head]" (your fic today reminded me of this song too and i listened to it again after reading tehe)

Nightmares by CHVRCHES - "Another poem designed for revenge. Now I'm living a nightmare again, and it won't end.

Black Out Days by Phantogram - gives me remembering Sabito vibes. So painfully thinking of him but trying to forget him and keep that part of his mind away from now but it doesn't want to stay away. He isolates himself from his memories that he "[doesn't] even recognize [Sabito's] face"

I miss you, I'm sorry by Gracie Adams - it's less of the lyrics and more the vibes. i just kinda really like this song. "I still love you, I promise" to Sabito---

Become the Warm Jets by Current Joys - listen listen ok hear me out: slow song, sad voice, sad song, Giyuu-themed? totally feel canon with "All my life is just something I can't ignore."

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be by Jess Benko - wow. sad angst sad song about regret because wow. just angst.

Young by Vacations - dissociation central. not knowing how things are moving and wanting things to be right and okay. that childhood innocence of want everything (read: Sabito) to be his

i love you by Billie Eilish - Giyuu being in denial of everything. How could Kyojuro say that he loves him? How could he open up so easily to Kyo? "the smile that you gave me even when you felt like dying" FFUCCK

Dress by Taylor Swift - this is that song when the pairing finally gets together after a 20K slow burn. smiles. "Carve your name into my bedpost 'cause I don't want you like a best friend."

A Love Song by Ladyhawke - happy upbeat love song. Imagine running through a crowd, holding hands, laughing and giggling as Kyo pulls Giyuu along to show him something he's excited about

I didn't mean for this to be this long (this was originally 10) but now you have 2/3 of my Giyuu playlist! I accidentally deleted my Giyuu playlist like four months ago so I'm building from the ground up unfortunately😭

I hope this satisfies your curiosity! Enjoy listening if you do!

[italic-doing-random-shit]

all of them. unless you're uncomfortable with any

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

only with my mom

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

I last said I love you to panda

03: Do you regret anything?

yep, lots of things

04: Are you insecure?

hell yeah, plenty to not like about me but that’s the anxiety talking

05: What is your relationship status?

taken

06: How do you want to die?

quickly, calmly

07: What did you last eat?

hamburbur

08: Played any sports?

play soccer mainly, but dabbled around

09: Do you bite your nails?

unless I paint them, yes

10: When was your last physical fight?

fourth grade

11: Do you like someone?

yeah, I’m dating them

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yep

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

I hate actions not people, unless the action is unjustifiable. So like, Israeli military and my dad

14: Do you miss someone?

I miss my moots in a way of ‘we never met but I want you here way’

15: Have any pets?

yep, always lived with dogs

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

really shitty

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope, never even kissed someone

18: Are you scared of spiders?

nah, they’re little guys

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

nope, might get killed legally

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

haven’t yet

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

take a fucking break

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

maybe, all I know is I want to adopt

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

none, but I want basic earibgs

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

anything art related or english

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

no, I left them for a reason

26: What are you craving right now?

sleep and cuddles

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

yeah,,,,, I didn’t want to hurt them but I’m not going to date someone I don’t like back. It’s not fair.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

nope

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

I believe so, but we were being sweet and it was a while ago

30: What’s irritating you right now?

school

31: Does somebody love you?

yes

32: What is your favourite color?

red

33: Do you have trust issues?

yes

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Me, someone was trying to kill me

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my teacher when asking for stock footage

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

I think but also everyone deserves a new chance

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

don’t know, still growing

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

haven’t had one

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

when I was like one

51: Favourite food?

Cheese quesadillas

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

yeah, why else would they happen

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

hug my mom

54: Is cheating ever okay?

only on tests that don’t matter much

55: Are you mean?

playfully mean

56: How many people have you fist fought?

three

57: Do you believe in true love?

yes

58: Favourite weather?

summer rain

59: Do you like the snow?

YES

60: Do you wanna get married?

yes

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

yeah, I love pet names

62: What makes you happy?

a lot of things

63: Would you change your name?

yes, I did

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

no? I kissed my mom on the check and I’ll do it again

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

(well as a trans male) if I was single and liked them then maybe but usually I just say I’m not interested and run off embarrassed

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

not really

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Inka

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my mom

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

yes

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

no, but there plenty of people I’d live for

[lokisprettygirl]

Oh, chapter 14...it's a good and important one...

Loki and y/n are so adorable when they are together now. It's still a long way to go but the chances to make it right one day are good.

"...it had been two days full of kissing, making out and other filthy stuff, really filthy moments of like him looking at you as if you were his most cherished possession, him kissing you at every chance he gets, him making eye contact ...Such indecent moments "

It must be love, no one can tell me otherwise. They try, they really try to be non-toxic with each other and I love to see it. But the anxiety that old habits could return is real and relatable.

"...sometimes you still felt as if he was playing an elaborate prank on you and would scream 'Psyche' out of nowhere. The thought absolutely demolished you, you didn't think you'll be able to survive that situation. "

She just wants to have him around her but if Loki is going to do it again I'm sure her heart would shatter into pieces.😢💔

Their teasing and flirting is everything 😍 (his bedroom sexy voice is hunting me 😏🥵). Loki can't help himself, he has to kiss her all the time...and he's honest with her and I appreciate that!

"...when I asked you to teach me to drive and you straight up denied?...Why...?"

"Because I want you to stay dependent on me."

'...everything he did turned you on for some reason, even when he was clearly trying to be honest about his manipulative behaviour you found it rather hot...you enjoyed the feeling of him controlling you, it would have bothered you if it was someone else but never him.'

"...keeping you reliant..it's like having a pet who's dependent on me..."

'You didn't mind being his pet or his whore...you'll accept willingly. '

"God you're so hotttt... " Wicked little whore, getting aroused by the thought of being owned "

I'm dyyyiiiiinnnngggg 🥰🥵😍....yesss please control us, own us but please, let us make important decisions together and before that let's talk about it. It might be not the right way how Loki protects her but his intentions were never bad ones! As we can see, he was right again, Jane and Stephen just wanted to use y/n to their advantage.

It's a great step for him to give her driving lessons because...for y/n it's a step towards independence! And she could leave him like Jo did when things became difficult. And that's one of Loki's greatest fears.

And here's the point: Jo ran away when it became hard to love him, she didn't want to face his sad, dark side. She only wanted the funny and bright side of life with him. But where the sun shines, there's also rain...so damn, take an umbrella 🌂 ☔️ and wait for the sun to shine again🌦☀️ and in the best case, do it together!

But y/n? I'm sure she will never leave Loki!! He's broken? He's scared? Everything is fucked up? Yesss, but she'll never leave him. She waited for him, saved her virginity for him, and toxic or not, she loves him. He was always there for her!

"You don't want to be that person, sweetheart, trust me okay?"

"You don't know me Loki, you don't know how much I love you."

'...he wanted to give you everything but he couldn't give himself to you completely, at least not those ugly parts of him that he knew would make you want to run.'

How does he know? He can't look into her head! And she gave him an answer yet!

"...I just want to be there for you...not just in these happy moments..."

Y/n is NOT Jo! Y/n could have had other guys but she only wants him. And he is gone through worse than her! Loki not only saw worse things but he was also forced to cause them and got beaten up for his caring feelings. He's a good one, a man with a beautiful soul and a good heart but they broke him and nearly destroyed him, physically and mentally. And he still feels so guilty and thinks he's a monster. He's not! I could cry, believe me! 😭😭

Loki needs someone who accepts him with his dark truth. He needs some self-love and self-respect and he needs to forgive himself otherwise he might not be able to have a sane relationship. How he thinks about himself is self-destructive. He couldn't have saved the other girls even if he wanted. He never had a chance he was a victim, too. Hopefully, y/n can help him with her genuine and unwavering love.

" You need to be hurt?" He glared at him as you questioned him.

"It's none of your business sweetheart." your eyes teared up as he snapped at you...it was a touchy subject for him but you didn't like him being rude to you again... he had several issues and so did you.'

She doesn't know about his past yet. One day she'll know and she'll be shocked but I'm sure she will love him even more, she will never go and leave him alone. He wouldn't have done it either back then but it was better for y/n and himself. I would shower him in pure love and pure tenderness, especially after sex. I would deny hurting him physically after making love to me.

I want him to feel good afterwards, not guilty or bad or like a monster...because he makes me feel good, too. Love and sex are wonderful and y/n should help him to feel like this too/again someday.

Y/n had also things to deal with. She needs support, too. Everyone everywhere thinks of her she's 'just' the girl from the cult as soon as people learn about her past. That's sad and not fair...and not to forget that so many people think she's a whore and that she played along with all of these prejudices.

'He shouldn't have snapped at you... , this was one of his fears about this relationship, when those women got upset he didn't have to worry or care about them, but he can't treat you the same way. '

"What do you want me to do? " "...apologize?" "That will fix...thisss?" "No, but it opens the way for further conversations." 'When did his sweet buttons become so mature?'

"Why did you snap?" "I don't want to discuss it" ...he never wanted to discuss the past, neither did you, you both wanted to leave the history behind but it wasn't really helping because none of you had moved on from the said past.'

They both try, they really try. And they need to talk about their past sooner or later. But it won't be easy.

'He wasn't ready, he didn't think he'd be ready anytime soon...all of a sudden he felt overwhelmed by everything, you, this relationship, your life with him. Was he fucking this up even more by involving you romantically with his messed up self?'

Both need time and they should take the time they need. It won't be all right overnight.

The whole scene before Loki got the call from Jo is so sad and bittersweet 🥺💖😢🥹

"...I desire you like this as much as you desire me, it's not one-sided."

I'm not sure if I trust Jo. Was she really threatened by Thor or is it just an evil plan? Like: I help you to find Loki and you help me to get him back? Or is she just a victim, too?

Odin and Thor know that Loki would come and help his ex, he still cares about her somehow. So what is Thor up to?👀👀👀 Also, Odin is still there, lurking somewhere in the dark to get the virgin's blood 💀🩸...and maybe he wants revenge and Loki's death too 😳😳

Queen 👑, what a wonderful chapter! Why don't you like it as much as I do? 🤔😅 It's a great and absolutely important one!

I love this story💘, I love Lolo💚, I love y/n 🩷 and most of all I love you 😍❤️💖😘

They are definitely in love and have been for a long time 🥺

He's definitely trying to take a step towards a healthier approach when it comes to their relationship, he's trying to trust her that she won't run away which is a big deal for him.

They're for life and won't abandon each other that' easily, she's willing to stick around but ofcourse his insecurities aren't irrational, he doesn't trust her to not ditch him because he hates himself and he thinks once his reality comes out she'll hate him too and he can't take that, he won't be able to survive that.

He's definitely a good man even though life has been cruel to him and gave him the pass to have his cliche "villain" arc, all he wants is to be able to take care of his gal and keep her safe 🥹

She has been through alot as well 🥺, in next chapter we will see what bothers her and how loki will deal with it.

Loki's need to feel pain is the direct damage caused by Odin in the cult, everytime he cared he was called weak and as he was lashed , the pain became his distraction and it made him feel not so weak, so there are several reasons why he likes to hurt himself and hurt others during sex.

Thor is definitely upto something 👀

I do like this chapter, it's just not my fav 🤣

I love you too my dear thank you for such a good analysis 🥰❤️😍

[wishful-seeker]

Today, after trying my hardest to keep my lovely kitty happy and healthy after he became chronically ill, me and my family have reached a point where we must let him go. I would like to share with you all what my wonderful boy Puph is like because he deserves to be remembered. The only reason I am sharing this is to share his memory and express what a wonderful cat he Is.

His eyes look pale yellow inside and light green in the sunlight. It resembles labradorite with a yellow/green flash.

He is a black cat, but his black fur has a lot of redish brown from spending years in the sun. Especially his belly.

He has a very tiny patch of white on his chest, which is an uneven spot, and a spot on his right front wrist. And has a white spot in between his back legs, and in his ears.

He is missing his front left leg from the elbow down.

He is a manx cat and has a bunny tail.

His face is a wide, angular triangle, and he resembles Batman.

He is an average to small sized cat.

Out of all of our cats, he smells like the earth the most. He smells like dirt that's damp from morning dew or rain. All the cats smell like this but it's stronger with him.

He is our oldest cat right now and has lived 10 to 12 happy years give or take.

He loves and protects every other cat in the family, even if they aren't related by blood. He is the only cat that is unfazed by our playful 2 year old cats playing and let's her attack him, everyone else hisses at her, but Puph, being the kind old man he is, entertains the little one. Sometimes he nips at her to play with her. He is our only cat that worries about the other cats. When everyone isn't around he gets worried, especially when he's missing his younger sister (related by blood). He has spent his whole life watching over every single member of our family, even though he has anxiety and wont let anyone near him except me and my mom. He may be our most anxious cat, but despite that he chooses to care deeply about his family and take care of them, and he will always be our bravest cat for that. That is a fact. When he's outside, him, his sister, his nephew, and his niece travel together in a pack. When I was younger my pack would follow me around everywhere I went, even into the woods, and for a very long time Puph was the one who lead that pack to follow me. I think he felt he had to make sure it was safe.

In the last year or so, he learned to trust me, because i was the one who gave him his meds, so he had to. He learned I was safe, and that I could pet him. He learned that if I put him on my lap, it was okay for him to stay there for a moment before he left to continue cuddling with the pack. He really only liked being pet when his pack was right next to him. Im glad I got to earn his trust before he has to go.

I love you so much little man, good luck in the next life.

[letterstobojack]

IT GETS EASIER.... it really does.

Hey Boj,

Hehe,well anyways my whole life I've dealt with depression,alcoholic/abusive mother,suicidal thoughts/self harm,in and out of foster care,and just horrible family and "friends" around me. I dealt with a negative mindset or" rain cloud" over my head & heart which made me emotionally numb to care about myself and others,just hating myself the most. I got into my dads custody around 15 after my mom abandoned me(while we were living in a halfway house and shelter that we eneded up in because of her addiction)at 14 just few weeks shy of my birthday,which put me in foster care for the 3rd time,my dad smokes pot so he had to drop pot for a full year right then and there till he got full custody of me. I love my dad hes just very narcissistic,and abusive when hes angry which is a lot, but hes sadly all I have left. I was still depressed,I was diagnosed with PTSD from everything I endured with my mother,btw I've been diagnosed with adhd,depression,panic and anxiety attacks, and in therapy since I was 5yrs old. So I already had a track record with my mental health and now I had literal abandonment issues. I started to self harm I didnt want to live,I felt that I wasnt worth it,anyways fast forward a year into being with my dad we had to move cause the people we rented from lost their house to gambling issues,so we saved up money n left, but while were between places I'm working my hardest to graduate early which i did so we didnt have a reason to come back a whole county over every day. After we finally moved in and I graduated I had an online friend recommend ur show to me,I almost clicked off after the first epsiode not gonna lie,but I stuck thru it because if people just left after the first time with me they wouldn't get to know me or even be in my life. I stuck through it,had just turned 18 I didnt work for the first 6 months of being 18 through out those 6 months I watched all the 4 seasons that were currently out over and over all day, everyday. Why?cause I fell in love with ur show,and needed to understand it more,I didnt understand some episodes till like the 10th time watching. In the words of Wanda"some things take time". I related to you so much,bojack,from unloving,neglectful parents to just wanting to be something and people to like you even in your self destructive behavior. Feeling nothing on the inside or nothing on the outside. When you started you're brand new attitude or BNA, it really inspired me,but it really hit me when you went back to look for CuddlyWhiskers. When he said " takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are, and even longer that it doesnt have to be that way. Only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy." . That really hit me hard,its like a flip switched in my body,I seen things on the other side of the glass for once. I "woke up" sorta.... I realized i am more than my sadness or pain. I smoked a lot of pot and eventually went cold turkey and sober from everything. I wanted to find myself,care for myself, care about me the way I so sadly craved for others to care about me. I started my BNA. I wanted this for me and only me,cause I'm the only one that needed to matter in my world not others. Call me selfish but for the first time in my life I was happy. It took so long for me to truly see how miserable I was,and longer to see the option was always there for me to flip the script.  Thank you so much,ik in life we naturally grow in our minds,but I dont think without ur show I wouldn't of clicked so soon or at all to be honest. I didnt think there was someone or anyone who could see things how I did or do. Let alone a talking horse who stands on his own 2 legs and stars in his own movie with a on and off cat gf/agent in the town of Hollywoo. Thank you for being real,raw,and such a genuine display of emotions,nothing was sugar coated things were hit head on. I dont self harm anymore,I rarely have any anxiety or panic attacks,I'm definitely not depressed anymore, I somehow see the cup half empty n half full at the same time. I guess it keeps me sane knowing theres bad and good,and that those options are there and you have to make the beat of which ever you are handed with. Thank you Bojack Horseman,Princess Carolyn,Todd Chavez,Sarah Lynn,Diane Nguyen,even ....ugh Mr.Peanutbutter *face palm*. You all made this show amazing,and this show made my life easier and understandable for the first time. This show did something for me that Doctors, Therapists, prescriptions,religion, family,friends, the system never did for me. This show helped me and most importantly showed me to help myself. Thank you so much!!!! I can not even begin to explain my gratitude for this show and the characters lasting effect on my heart. You saved me from the tar I let myself fall into. I was able to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I've shared what I learned with others and saved some friends IRL and online from the tar that effects us in life. I'm not saying I have all the answers but I sure know that life will not always be this way and that there is hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if u have to crawl ur way there and leave some people behind cause those things and people will thrash  and struggle and try to take you down with them. You have to find ur way up from whatevers putting you down. See things from the other side. Not many people know it doesnt have to be this way even if that sounds easy it's really not,but knowing it can be helps and those around you willing to help really helps. Thank you for being there for me,thank you for showing me you can do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around,cause that's what it's all about. 😭 I CAN NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH THE ENDING BREAKS MY HEART BUT IT BRINGS IT BACK TOGETHER IN A WHOLE NEW WAY.IM HAPPY SEEING ALL OF YOU HAVE A POSITIVE ENDING A TURN AROUND OR TURNING YOURSELF AROUND 😂💕 THANK YOU BOJ, I WILL MISS YOU DEARLY BUT WILL ALWAYS CARRY WHAT YOU TAUGHT ME

LOVE,SOPHIA DEMARTINO OF FULLERTON,CALIFORNIA,USA. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH💕💕💕💕💕 

P.S. thank you,again,obviously.... 

[kaoarika]

Just a vent thing because I feel shitty (this will be more meaningful shortly in a TMI manner)

GOOD god.

So, I don't know if I ever shared about it here, but from time to time I tend to happen some muscular pains around my hips/back and I'm always all "maybe it's because I sleep or sit in the most AWFUL position posible, I'm not 20 anymore" or "ovulation". I fear for a third (or fourth) secret thing, ngl, because own health stuff situation MAY lead to that and I may NOT be taking care of myself 24/7 (I want to disclose that I have hypothyroidism, and I am medicated), and, again, I'm not in my 20s anymore, so.

This pain I have may not even be muscular, I'm awfully aware, but you know. I was looking through my old tweets (because I complain about this on twt much more than here), and some of these tend to fall around whe I ovulate and while these may make SO much more sense (in the way that once I started to medicate my situation, my periods became much more regular and I started to feel more usual pms/menstrual symptoms), some other times, I do not know.

Last period cycle before this month's was the most painful I had have in a LONG while and I attribute that much more to the stress that I had between April and May (and early June). Luckily, after that one, I didn't complain much and I had a very much normal average period cycle (afaik or remember). But then, then...

This past Tuesday I woke up with an awful mood, and the area between my hips and lower belly started to hurt (also, started to have a back-related pain). Not much appettite, either. And I start to fear the worst. Also happen to be the days which I would normally ovulate (according to my calculations), so it would be a 1+1 = 2 situation, but then... I seemed to have constipation which also adds a neat asterisk to this at whole. Which is... so fucking fun... I even tried to take an ibuprophen but it didn't fix anything and the pain(s) persisted.

Yesterday I felt like dead, lmao. Not mood for anything, and I didn't want to move a lot because of this (so I wonder if the back-pain is related to this?) and it was all adding up to my constipation and stress, and it made me more and more annoyed (adding salt to the wound, it was raining outside). I tried to sit alright, I tried to get moving, etc.

I tried to get to the conclusion that, maybe this was all gastrointestinal, so I tried my best to fix the constipation itself, so you can imagine early this morning me doing almost everything suggested online (eating fiber, drinking (black) coffee, slight exercises, natural laxatives, drinking lots of water, etc.) until it worked this afternoon? But even so, I feel everything still got me later (did I do right or did I get a stomachache? I wish I could give a straight answer, I still feel slightly nauseous, too), :'), and I even used heat to warm these annyoing pains that still remain. And... that's pretty much where I am.

These pains or whatever are still somewhat bothering me. I know that my solution to fix everything is not a quick one, but at least I did something and that seems to be okay... but the rest? not so much.

One of the third or fourth things I don't want to think about is if it is related to my kidneys... but I cannot know for sure because, if I had a VERY serious problem, I feel it would be MORE obvious -and I mean, the back pain I have is somewhat located around my right kidney, I think?-, like I couldn't walk or even having a fever, but, what do I know?

Ugh, the more I think about it, is that I should go to get a general revision or something. Im still seeing my specialized doctor in a week and a half, and I GUESS, I should ask them about this. But even, so. I'm not sure of what else to feel like and do right now. There's a chance this is all related to my ovulation days/period and bad habits and stress and (possible) anxiety, and I'm paying it all now that I'm in my 30s. There's also a chance it would be a third or fourth secret thing and I'm pretty scared to find out.

Chances are that my (specialized) doctor might ask me to get a blood and urine test, but MAAAAAAAN...

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #220

When was the last time you were bitten by an animal? What kind of animal was it? My cat, but not aggressively.

When was the last time you had sex/did something sexual? How was it? Slightly over a week ago, fine. I was having anxiety issues and I was totally fine afterwards so that was nice lmao

When was the last time you did something illegal? What did you do? Pirated music semi-recently.

What was the last colour you dyed your hair? It's a pastel lilac right now!

Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera. You mean like... the five I see first/the five most recent? I downloaded two nature-related wallpapers a few days ago, then there's two pictures of me with my new hair, then one from the Pride event.

Who was the last person you know to have something big happen to them (i.e., get engaged/married, have a baby, etc.)? My acquaintance Ian got engaged.

Is there anybody over the age of 40 that you think is hot? heh

Have you ever been punched in the face? No.

Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No, I pace.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No, I may not like her, but I don't think she deserves death.

How’s the love life going? Great.

Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? She has a child, no.

Have you ever been cheated on, or had a guy move on extremely fast after a long, seemingly sincere relationship? Yes to the latter.

Have you ever had someone drag his or her nails down your back? well a survey ain't asked that before, but yes

If you’ve been hurt in a past relationship, are you more jaded this time around? Of course.

[TW: ABUSE] Have you ever been in a physically abusive relationship? No, this is NOT something I would tolerate under any circumstance. I'm out.

Have you ever felt more like you needed someone, and less like you loved that person? No.

Is there any habit, attachment, or addiction that you feel you have beaten or risen above? World of Warcraft. I still play it a lot, but by god it's nothing like I was when Jason and I dated/maybe a year and some change afterwards. In my waking hours, it's all I did. There was nothing more fun to do, in my opinion. I would turn down better things to do because I wanted to play it. I consider myself very lucky that I fell out of it because of money (it's not free to play, although it later implemented an in-game currency way of paying, which I use now), and I was without it for at LEAST a year, I think more. When I started playing again, I was never quite the same about it, and today, I find it way less engaging and tend to only have fun for short bursts of time in it. Even though I have the game open a lot and may tab in to do stuff, my relationship with it is nothing like it once was. I've gone on breaks by my own will when I just stop having fun.

Have you ever lived with a friend? Yes, technically, because I was homeless at the time. I wasn't actually an official resident though, and I only stayed a couple months while my mom secured a home.

Have you ever only liked someone because you found out they liked you? This isn't exactly the case, no. I only dated Tyler because he wanted to; I wasn't particularly interested, but I decided to give him a shot. We were friends in high school and I thought he was a fine guy then, so I figured why not. I never really reciprocated the liking, though. I was just trying things out.

Do you think people act weirder or that stranger things happen when there's a full moon? No.

Do you think you would make a good parent someday? No, and that's why I won't be one.

In which were you happiest: elementary, middle, or high school? Elementary.

Have you ever written something on a street sign? No.

Life is nothing without passion. What are you passions? Animals, nature, proper education on them and their conservation; human rights and autonomy; and photography, among other things.

How's the weather lately? It's too hot and not enough rain. We're in a bad drought; we've only gotten one rather short, mild thunderstorm as of a few nights ago.

You can bring back one dead pet to life. Which one? REALISTICALLY, I wouldn't do this. I don't want to experience a pet's death a second time. But for the sake of the question, so long as he wasn't dealing with what he was at his time of death, Teddy, my dog. He was my pet of all time.

Is there a pillowcase on your pillow? Describe it: Yeah, it's just a basic beige one.

School: what classes are you taking at the moment? I'm not in school anymore. I don't think I'll ever be going back.

What scent is your deodorant? You know what, I have no idea. It's just Secret.

Are you happy with what you see when you look in the mirror? Nope.

Does it get super hot in the summer where you live? Yes it does, and it keeps getting worse. Global warming, y'know.

Would you ever date someone of the same sex? I've done it before and I'd do it again.

If you HAD to be raised by another family member than you were, who? Um... probably my mom's actually sane brother and his wife. They're good people.

Are you close with you best friends' parents? Do you know them very well? I'd say we're close, and I feel I know her relatively well.

Do you like reptiles as pets, or do they gross you out? Reptiles are my ideal pet, actually.

What is the youngest age you would consider dating somebody? Maybe like... 22. But that's still pretty low for me, I'd have to really, really like you.

Favorite type of seafood? Shrimp is the only seafood I've found I like.

Are you more traditional or progressive? Progressive as fuck.

Are you into the occult? Aesthetically, totally. But as far as faith and stuff goes, no.

How long was your longest relationship? Three and a half years. Girt's catching up, we're pushing three. Got a good feeling we'll pass that.

Did you ever honestly believe you were going to marry your highschool bf/gf? Oh, I was entirely and utterly convinced that this was fact. It was GOING to happen. It didn't, and my life nearly ended because I couldn't cope with that.

Are you a virgin? Do you believe virginity is "sacred?" Yes, no.

Would you say that you have a lot of friends? No.

Are both your parents alive? Yes.

Were you raised by your biological parents? Yes. My dad didn't do much raising, but.

Has your family ever been broken? Oh for sure. It still kinda is.

Do you think your parents respect your space? Yes.

Are you close with you siblings, if you have any? No. I wish I was...

Have you ever in anger told your parent(s) that you hated them? Oh, I absolutely have to my dad. Maybe not those words exactly, but trust me, the message was clear. I will always regret that letter.

What’s your favourite Thai dish? I don't know Thai food. I haven't knowingly tried anything from it.

Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? I straight-up dated someone I met online for I think over two years. We were fine. We each just had too much going on mentally to keep each other afloat in the way couples should.

What sort of games do you like to play? Horror, fantasy, so long as the stories are great and the gameplay is fun.

What was the last candy you ate? I can't even remember.

Do you know anyone who is deaf? No.

Do you eat or drink as soon as you wake up, or do you wait a while? I get plain water, yes. I have to take my thyroid medication, then 30 minutes later, I can have flavored drinks and eat.

What's your favourite kind of Oreo? Double-stuffed.

Do you play any games on your phone? If so, tell me about one. Pokemon GO everyone knows, but I also like Dragons of Atlantis: Heirs of the Dragon. I liked DoA when it was an online computer game, and I enjoyed that more, but the app version is fine.

Do you have more male or female coworkers? I don't have a job.

What's the longest stretch of time you've spent completely alone? Somewhere around a month, when Mom was in New York while her mother was dying. I was very lucky I had some sort of video hyperfixation going on at the time, because otherwise that long alone would've driven me fucking mad. Mom herself was surprised I was fine the whole time.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? No, hers are brown and mine are a grayish blue.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yes, and for a colonoscopy.

When was the last time you went bowling? I don't think I've been bowling since Girt and I tried dating the first time in like '17 and he took me there on a date.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? I know multiple transgender people.

Do you have piercings anywhere except your ears? How many and where? I have a vertical labret in my bottom lip.

What’s your opinion on leggings as pants? I don't give a shit.

Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? The person I'm dating currently.

Do you have a secret life? You could say that, I guess. I keep my online life under lock and fucking key, for no real reason other than rejection-sensitive dysphoria; I'm terrified of people judging me despite me not doing anything truly "out there." It drove my mom insane growing up, she was so convinced I was doing something immoral with how secretive I was and it resulted in a lot of fights, but I think she gets it now, especially as I've become more aware about my autism and open about how mortifying the concept of people judging me is. I've talked more about the topic.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yes.

Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Chocolate.

If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be? Nostril stud. I want one, it's just not something we can afford right now. There are more important things that need monetary attention.

The last time you held a baby: Not since Emerson (my four-year-old niece) was just born.

Does your mom eat meat? Yes.

What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? My mom doesn't have her reproductive organs anymore. My dad is married to a woman who has absolutely gone through menopause. Neither are having anymore kids.

How do you feel about snails? I think they're adorable.

Are you physically affectionate with your friends? I'm a hugger, but that's pretty much the extent of it. I guess I'd kiss the cheeks of ones I'm exceptionally close to as a gesture of comfort, but idk.

Do you kill spiders when you see them? Absolutely not. I will ignore them or most often take them outside.

Would you ever adopt a child? Girt would like to adopt a teenager when we're a lot older, so I guess. I'd PREFER not to, but I'd take a teenager over an actual baby that I needed to more intensely "mom" over, if that makes sense. I might very well change my mind about it by then, maybe I'll thoroughly want to adopt too.

Do you like your name's meaning? No, it's boring.

Do you and your mom look like sisters? No. We look similar, sure, but definitely not like sisters. Her eldest child ABSOLUTELY does, like it's fucking scary how much Mom and Katie look like twins, excluding the apparent age difference.

Are you the same height as your mom? I think she's half an inch taller than me.

What subjects do you like to read about? Meerkats, reptiles (especially ball pythons/their care in domesticity), spiders, photography techniques and stuff.

Are there any (obviously fictional) villains you can't help but love? Darkiplier, but I mean, if you know the universe Mark created with his characters, is he REALLY even a villain lmao. Besides that though, tbh I tend to enjoy villains a lot, so. I just think they tend to be more interesting and Hot goddammit

Can you name a villain who you could kind of side with? ^

What color eyes does your significant other (or crush) have? (If applicable.) Brown.

Does anything around your home need repairing? Well, the car more than anything. It's been dead in the driveway. A couple of the wood pillars that hold our front porch up need some TLC too; the paint is super worn and one especially has a portion that looks like it was eaten at by termites, even though we don't see any, and it's been like that for years now, so if something WAS actively eating it, it'd be down by now. The dishwasher leaks at one corner, but not severely; Mom just places a towel there when it's on.

[ramblesinshamblesgreenbus]

i talk to T and I tell him, i'm doing to you what he's doing to me - why are we both so stupid? why do we both consent? why can't i treat you like a respectable human being instead of an emotional crutch. why do i get mad at you, like those shit owners that yell at their dogs when they yap in joy that they're finally home.

i tell him, you have the softness i crave. the gentleness i was robbed of. you disbarred the winding road to your heart, so why do i just wish to squash it? i would hope it's more than ego - i was hurt, i need to hurt someone else. maybe i need to teach you a lesson. maybe i need someone to really relate to. to look at and ask "see how it feels?". maybe. to do to someone what was done to me and hear "what you did was shit - you're a bad person" because then maybe I'd believe it about him.

late november and the bad mood comes from inside but the culprit is external.

what vexes me so about T? the fact that he admits his weakness? the fact that he doesn't lash out or act high and mighty when i hurt him? the fact that he is what i crave to be and what i loathe becoming? I'm puking my anxieties into the air, hoping they'll drift toward the ceiling but of course they rain back down on me. I’m not stupid—I know I’m creating my own misery.

I remember a man at the head of a seminar table saying that character should be able to be summed up simply by describing the way the moon appears over their shoulders. most writing advice gives me secondhand embarrassment but this made me sit up and pay attention. did I really understand what it meant? I was nineteen, chickpea-brained and perpetually high (should i give that a try? helped me navigate much shittier situations), hard to trust any assertion from that version of myself, but the idea that the world looks a particular way to everyone is an old one. every set of eyes sees differently and its up to the author to tether the moon to the character’s particular vision, individualize it. I suppose the revolutionary goal of all writing is to show someone else the inside of your own head, or inside the head of a character you made up, which is also your own head but with a specific kind of filter overlaid. at that seminar table, I thought to myself: to G, the moon looks like a curled-up girl crying in his bed. it came to me like that—easy. obviously he was an abuser and not my character, although I had invented enough good qualities of his for that to be considered a work of fiction. T can only see full moons - if I were to look him in the eye while he was looking at the moon, I'd see it reflected full in the blue of his gaze. why is that. make a joke about it being made of cheese. what's the moon like to B - probably a dark void right now, all-consuming, endless pit of a black hole. to me the moon is jagged and slim and pointy, and past me would want to resemble her, and present me just begs for it to be more, to shine brighter - my eyes hurt in the dark.

I think I was nine when I came home with the question of do you see the same colors I see and my mother said, “i don't know, tell me about them,” which meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, stuff rarely does - but it meant everything to me. let's create together. Dante and Aristotle or some shit like that. I want someone to get me like mum does.

the work has been good, better than good, but I can't articulate, or don't wanna articulate what has gripped me over the past few months even though it’s been transformative because the thing that’s gripped me also feels drenched in what the storm cloud discourse decided was Bad. obsession, perception, possession, boundary dissolving sublimity. art, I guess. creation. I don't fucking know. yeah I’m still haunted by all that same old shit, really wish that I weren’t. hard to write without thinking about it. my problem is certain arguments still ring thru my head because I found them so stupid and therefore chilling.

writing without righteousness makes me feel like a maniac, like a villain straddling a rocket aimed for a stranger's brain, whipping its flank like, faster faster. it also feels really good. C always warned that I was the kind of girl destined to ruin a life, but it can't be mine that’s destroyed because look where I am: quiet mornings with the cat on my lap, afternoons of work directed by me, produced by me, conjured by the sorcerer within me who either stands arms spread like angel wings or lies in wait, a fox curled in my heart-den. a girl curled in a bed, nose tucked into her tail. I really don't think I'll be able to live like this forever, don't believe I’m actually charmed. this has to be a trick, some kind of glitch that eventually will be corrected, but in the meantime I'll play the bandit, the congirl with an opal heart. I'm getting away with it. another corridor revealed, cobwebbed and stale. doubt does creep in, like maybe I shouldn't be searching so relentlessly, maybe I'm going to find something I shouldn't, maybe regret is around the corner.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

1/11/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Job 29 - 31

Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm China. Today is the 11th day of January, welcome. I hope you are feeling well. I still have this cold going strong man. I'm ready for it to be over. It's time to get out of here, but I hope you are well and you are having a great week getting settled into this new year. Curious, like are your Christmas decorations still up or did you take him down? My husband Ben, he had time off from Christmas to New Year's. We had like a full week off and as soon as we traveled to go see his family after Christmas and so once we got back, I was like, take it all down. I'm ready for my house to be clean and for the stuff that gets moved around for the Christmas decorations to go back in its place. And the ours has been taken down for quite some time, but yeah. And now here we are. We're in Nashville and middle Tennessee. This is now the time of like, oh, it's raining. No, I think that's snow. No, it's raining. Is that is that snow? Is it going to snow? Oh, no, there's going to thunderstorm. Okay, now it may be 60 degrees. Next week it's going to be 30 degrees. And then probably in two weeks we'll probably have an ice snow storm. And that's how it's been my whole life. Like January and February, late January. February is like when we get our ice and our snow. Don't love it. Not super big fan, but those days where we get like 60 degree days and the sun is out, I'm outside barefoot and I'm in short sleeves trying to soak up all the sunshine. But I think now we're in the rainy season. I don't know, even if I was a meteorologist, it would still take me by surprise. I don't know. I never studied weather a day in my life. But anyways, here we are. Hope you're having a great day, great week, great weather, and if not, that's okay too. Glad you're here. When it's come around the global campfire together and read the word of the Lord. We're continuing on in Job 29 through 31, and we are in the New International Version this week.

Commentary

I think if I'm understanding Job correctly today he's saying if I had done all these things that were wicked or things that deserved this punishment, then I could understand why I would be in this place. But I didn't do these things. So I'm confused why I'm in this place. And I wonder maybe if you can relate to that, where you felt like I've done all these good things. I served here, I've shown up faithfully here, I've given this, I've followed that, I've done all the things that were good that make me a good person or that I really felt like the Lord was leading me to. And now I'm in the situation that really stinks. And I'm calling out to the Lord, but I don't hear him. I'm asking Him to save me, but I don't feel saved. I'm trying to do all these things, and yet here I am. Like, what do I do that's the right thing to get God to move? Or how do I pray the right things so that this desperation will flee me? Or how do I maneuver through this depression? Or how do I get out of this anxiety? I wish I had the right words to say that would comfort you, because I'm not sure that I do. But what I do know is that if you find yourself in the story, that's okay. That means you're human and somebody else long before you also felt these things. And if nothing else, know that you're not alone. And sometimes hearing that doesn't always comfort me. Sometimes it does. And I think, too, maybe you've never read through the story of Job before, so I won't give you the ending of it, but I know that we're not at the end of the story of Job right now, and you're not at the end of the story that you're walking through right now. And I just want to say I'm sorry. That really sucks, but it's really hard what you're going through, and I couldn't imagine that. And I'm sure you didn't imagine it to go this way either. And I know that the Lord is for you. I know that he hears you. I know that he has not forgotten you and he's not overlooked you. I also know that he cares for you and he loves you. I don't always know the Lord's timing. I don't always understand it. Sometimes I'm having to remind myself it's not my timing, the Lord's timing. And I don't even super fully know what that means all the time. But I have to trust, and I have to bow myself low and humble myself and trust that, okay, God, you are sovereign, I'm not. You are holy. I'm not. You are perfect in all of your ways, and I'm not. You're the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. And if that's the truth, then I'm going to be okay. And so I don't know the right words to say to you again. We have some friends of Job's or some men surrounded around him that I feel like had good intentions or maybe some didn't. I'm not really sure. I don't have a look into their hearts. But some things were helpful and some things weren't. And if you have things that are being said that are unhelpful, I'm sorry for that too. That really sucks. And sometimes I wish people wouldn't speak. They would just be there. But I know that people are trying and they don't always know what to say, and so out of nervousness, they just speak. But I just want you to know you're not alone, you're not forgotten, and you're not going under. You're not drowning, even though it feels like it. That's something that I really, really felt after I had my daughter, Reagan. Maybe if you're new here, you haven't heard this, but I had really bad postpartum anxiety with my daughter, and I constantly felt like I was drowning, like I was just taking on so much water. And I went to church one Sunday, which is pretty rare. I didn't really like to leave the house, especially to go to church, because it just interfered with. Is she going to sleep? Is she going to want to eat? I don't know how I'm going to handle all this. And so I remember one Sunday I went and someone had pulled me aside, and they were just like, hey, you've really been in my heart, really been praying for you. And I just broke down. Because I was like, that means a lot. But I also must be really bad if the Lord is putting me on other people's hearts. And she had prayed over me, and she was like, I just keep hearing the Lord say, like, you're not going down. You're not going under. And I was like, and she has no idea. She has no idea that this whole week I felt like I've been drowning. And I just like, wept probably the hardest that I've ever sobbed. And I'm pretty sure I held up the service. My pastor came over and started praying over me as well. But it was a really sweet and holy moment where I felt like I really had people that cared for me's attention, but I also had the Lord's attention, and he was speaking over me. I have you. You're not going down. You're not going under. And those words forever hold me in a steady place because they're from the Lord, and that's the truth. And so, yeah, I don't know. I feel like there's a lot of people who may need to hear this today, but if not, and if it's just one, then great. This is for you. This is from the Lord. You are not going down. You're not going under. The Lord, his hand isn't short. Nothing is too far out of his reach, and his hand is not short. He absolutely has the ability, the willingness, the desire to reach down and to save us as he again and again and again will and has always done. So I don't have much more to say, and I don't really know how to tie this up, but maybe just enter into a time with the Lord where you have all distractions put away, put aside. Just have a moment with the Lord and ask Him to speak over you and to speak into whatever it is that you're feeling. And maybe if this is not you and you're not relating to this, maybe ask for, is there someone in my community that really needs something that where I could be a vessel and to really bless someone. That's all for today. I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Line

Hey, DABC family. My name is Valerie and this is my first time calling the prayer line. I just want to take this time to lift Debbie up in prayer. Debbie, I pray that you find comfort and strength in your growing relationship with God and that you experience a safe and healthy pregnancy. When you poured your heart out to us, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in a way that I haven't in a very long time. I feel as though I can relate to you in many ways. I am also 22 years old, and all the way up to this point in my life, I have been struggling with anxiety, depression and isolation. I have no friends outside of family and I experienced suicidal ideation during the holidays as well as throughout most of last year after trying three different medications unsuccessfully. I want to share this with you because I want you to know that you're not alone and that you're worthy of love. I love you, God loves you, and you are loved by this entire community. Sometimes God sets us apart from others to work in us, spend time with us and sanctify our hearts. I believe that this season in your life is a part of your story and your calling, that God strengthened you in the darkness. And without that darkness, there is no place for light to shine. He sees how bright your light is from within and is cultivating your testimony in this time so that you may be a blessing to others in the same ways that you have been blessed. I pray that you take some time to soak your mind and your heart in Psalm 23 and Psalm 139. I love you, sister in Christ. You are in my prayers day and night. Amen.

Good evening. The DABC Family this is Rachel from the UK. I'm just ringing a response to Debbie's prayer request. Debbie from Washington. Oh, I just want you to know, Debbie, that I see you, I hear you and I love you. And I'm going to stand shoulder to shoulder with you on this. I to deal with agoraphobia daily and depression and self loathing. At 49, I still haven't worked out how to like myself. But last year during the DABC, God broke through all of that and showed me his love and how much he loves me. And you know, Debbie, God created you because he loves you. He didn't only create you, he created you intentionally. He created you for purpose. He created you to be his child because he loves you. You are here because you are meant to be here and you have so much to give. And right now, in this horrible, dark and painful place that you are in, I just pray, Heavenly Father, that you are able to reach into this space and just show Debbie how much you love her, how much she is valued, how much she is needed, and how it will not always be this way. I love you, Debbie. I will be praying constantly for you. Huge hooks. Take care.

Hello, DAB family. My name is Tamika Griffin and I am new to this study and I'm enjoying immensely thus far. I was calling in for prayer for myself. I need a kidney transplant and I am dressing and believing God for a living donor. I am from Charlotte, North Carolina, and I've been on dialysis now it will be three years in July and I'm ready to be delivered from dialysis. I also want to pray for a young lady who called from Washington State. I don't remember her name, but she's 22 years old, she's pregnant, she just moved from California to Washington State. She's dealing with depression and she said she tried to kill herself on Christmas Day and she's afraid to go outside. But she does have a supportive partner. So I'm praying that God will deliver her and she gets the help that she needs so that she will be healthy mentally and physically for her baby that she will be having. I really am trusting and praying God for her to live her as I heard the sadness in her voice. And again, my name is Tamika Griffin from Charlotte, North Carolina, and I'm praying for a kidney very soon from a living donor and praying for the young lady in Seattle, Washington who's dealing with depression. Thank you so much for this beautiful program. My cousin introduced me to it and I love it. Look forward to hearing more tomorrow. Thank you.

Good day. Royalty. This is Tulanendaba from Johannesburg in South Africa. This episode absolutely amazing. Thank you very much for the mother and daughter who came up with this idea and who are serving us in this really awesome way, exposing us to the whole Bible within a year. For many years now, I've been struggling with reading the Bible consistently and I found that this is really one of the best ways for me to engage with the Bible in a really practical way and on a daily basis and chronologically like, it's really amazing. I'm super grateful for you guys and I really pray that God may enlarge your territory. I pray for everyone in this group or on this app for you guys to be consistent, for God to help you to understand, for God to help you to apply everything that you are learning through this exposure to the word of God and that you may be given the ability to spread the gospel as well. Tiny prayer request. I have applied for a couple of universities, for universities to be exact, and some of them have rejected me. Only one of them has accepted me for a course. So please just pray for God's favor upon my life, for me to get acceptance I'll be studying either pharmacy or bio kinetics, and I really, really love those courses, and I really pray that God may help me to get in. But yeah, grace and peace for him. I love you very much.

[00:17:30.990] - Speaker 6

Hello, DABC family. My name is Yolanda. I'm calling in for prayer for my family. We just recently had the loss of my beloved niece Maya, and this one has really rocked my family to the core, because just seven short months ago, we buried her grandmother, my mother. I'm just asking for prayer for healing, stress, comfort and restoration for my family. Thank you.