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daily-rayless · 1 year ago

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15 Years of Natalia

November 2008. I think these are my first Natalias. As you can see, I haven't yet committed to the full floofiness of her hair.

So we've come to the end of my character appreciation series (for 2023, stayed tuned for next year), and that means it's time to turn to Tales of the Abyss, which I first played toward the end of 2008, during a very stressful point in my life. Perhaps because of that, but definitely because of the game's excellent story, it became one of my very favorite games, and there are lots of characters in it that I'd class among my favorites. But right at the top, and close to the top of my favorite characters of all time, is Her Highness, the national hero, the false princess, the girl with too many letters in her name, Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear.

Let me tell you why.

November 2008. Asch often features in my Natalia art. I like him a lot, both as a character and as part of the pairing itself. But I want to focus this post on Natalia, not Natalia and Asch.

When first glancing over the game's booklet, I identified Tear as the character I'd like. Looking at Natalia's design, I was actually quite turned off by her – all the frills, all the curls, all the puffs and scallops and ruffles. For a fan who loved cool, no-nonsense, knightly heroines like Celes Chere, Chris Lightfellow, and Mitsuru Kirijo, Natalia didn't seem to offer much.

December 2008. A Natalia panel from my first attempt to do an Asch-Natalia comic.

And then you get her first scene in the game, where she blasts in at her absolute worst, domineering, catty, snobby, obsessed with her own little world of childhood promises. She barges into your party, insists she won't be a burden, and continues to bully everyone right and left.

December 2009. My interest in Abyss cut off abruptly in early 2009 when I got into Persona 4, but it never died completely. It never does die completely.

But none of Abyss' party members are simply what they seem at first glance. Not only is Natalia soon revealed to be brave and generous (and more than a little unintentionally goofy) but the story forces her to mature.

May 2011. See? The obsession's right back here again.

And it's not a shallow maturity, where she becomes cold and uncaring, hardly the same person she was before. Even as she faces betrayals and difficult choices, she remains emotional, even naive.

June 2011. Trying to draw Asch and Natalia as regal and courtly as I possibly could.

But she stops focusing so much on herself, learns to treat others better, and realizes – though it takes her right until the end of the game – that she can't ask anyone else to make her dreams come true.

October 2011. Natalia at the ending battle. I was so proud of this one.

So I very quickly learned to love Natalia. By the time I finished the game, I was hooked, already off and writing fanfic. But the thing was? I still didn't like her design.

August 2012. Not sure what's happening with her elbow there. Maybe she's inviting someone to stroll with her.

I couldn't dispense with the flippy curls, but at least I could lose some of the ruffles, which is why so much of my art features her in alternate costumes or even completely new clothes.

October 2012. It's hard to make Asch look both happy and in character, but I think I manage.

But as time's gone on, I've started to appreciate her canonical design. Yes, she's a frilly princess. That's okay. She's a dashing, gallant, daring, floofy princess. She doesn't need to become (or look) “stronger” because the game already proves her to be incredibly strong.

March 2013. Post-game Natalia, looking older and more resolute.

And what's best about that is that you aren't merely told she's strong. She shows it, repeatedly, from immediately launching into rescuing the citizens of an enemy nation, to crossing a battlefield in order to halt a war, to risking her own life to negotiate with her father when he's literally named her an enemy of the state, to being punched by a man in a rioting crowd and then standing up to calm everyone and promise she'll do her best to protect them.

February 2015. I wasn't drawing much Natalia that year, but I found this sweet little sketch. I believe that's an early sketch of Eider she's sharing the page with.

And this isn't stuff she does while the hero, Luke, is the one really doing it. These aren't moments where she's assisting him on various plot points in his quest. These are things she does for her own reasons, as key plot points in her own arc – connected to Luke's, but still distinct from his. She's not just one of his entourage, she is going through her own story right up to the end of the game.

February 2021. And then after years of quietly resting, the Abyss-love hit me again. Time to draw the fanciest wedding Natalia possible.

In early days in the fandom, the female characters were often ignored in favor of the boys, and it was popular to bash Natalia. She's the “girly” one, the emotional one, the one whose story often focuses on her wanting to be loved and acknowledged by several male characters.

November 2021. This is one of my favorite Natalias. I wanted to emphasize her physical strength as well as her personal strength, and I think she came out looking very different and striking.

She isn't stoic like Tear. She doesn't suffer in silence. She gets petty, she cries, she falls to her knees, she can be so caught up in her own mind that she doesn't know what to do, and the game itself goes so far as to slap her for it at her very lowest moment. I think for a lot of gamers, they weren't able to see past Natalia's shortcomings and annoying traits.

March 2022. The cover for the newer Asch-Natalia comic.

But during my time in this fandom, I've noticed a shift, a positive one. More fans openly love the female characters, and I see much less scorn for Natalia these days. I wouldn't expect everyone to like her – she has her bad moments, and what makes one character work for one fan won't work for all fans. But I think people appreciate her heroic traits more now.

September 2022. In the old days, there was this feeling she wasn't good enough for Asch. I've long argued Asch isn't good enough for her.

So Natalia is now one of my very favorite characters. I'm so happy that my first impression of her was so very wrong.

August 2023. Her Glorious Majesty Natalia

#natalia luzu kimlasca-lanvaldear #tales #tales of the abyss #art progress #character appreciation #tales of the abyss spoilers #meta #we'll be back with this series next year

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crackerdilez · 6 months ago

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also the reason why I had Mappy quit as a cop and became a stay at home dad is because technically that’s canon. And what’s also canon is that while his time as a cop, he was only just retrieving things and never using brute force. He never really saw the thought of him being a cop was bad until that day that changed his views. (When he finally got to go on patrols with his peers and all.) Realizing that this isn’t helping people, just bullying them to submission

OOPS WE ENDED UP MAKING AN ACAB PART OF THE STORY

also With Goro and His wife’s story, there’s also some good bits here too! His wife always tried to pull him in the right directions however most of the time his bad habits keeps getting him into trouble.

basically something kinda similar with the fantastic Mr. Fox film from 2009. It was already bad enough she thought she had lost him after an Event pre-first game of mappy. Basically Mob family fight, some were arrested some were killed some even ran away. It was a traumatic time for him and his wife.

his wife encourages him to be a painter after seeing some of his art instead of continuing his life of crime. (Which can be questionable at time he is good of heart, it’s just that he likes to do petty crimes sometimes) he does paintings however little did she knew, he straight up still does steal things from time to time. Ie like I’ve mentioned fantastic mr. Fox similarities.

Sorry for replying to this late, I forgot to check my Tumblr this weekend 😭🙏‼️

Oh God I adore the part on why Mappy did quit as a cop, someone as kind as him shouldn't be in such a terrible position like that can be ;-; I mean, again, all cops are bastards. Also awww Goro's wife sounds like a very sweet woman! So bad Goro doesn't care to fully listen to her advice :(

#crackerdilez answers #mappy #Goro probably would get more money selling his paintings than stealing :v

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nicomrade · 1 year ago

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i didnt read nearly as much this year (2023) compared to last, i mostly re-read my faves that ill maybe post about one day and i read non-fiction from libraries. I am a Communist by Park Kun-Woong and Ichi-F by Kazuto Tatsuta are the two that id say stood out the most in that regard, but i kinda wanna keep these retrospective posts to fiction only so lets go for my actual 6 picks naow

Poison City - Tetsuya Tsutsui (2014-2015) opening with my favorite author, poison city is about art censorship- specifically of mangas in japanese libraries- how it happens, why, by and for whom, who it affects, how it shapes the publishing industry and so on. it was written after tsutsui found out his own work (manhole) had been banned in a prefecture, without him ever being notified. its only 2 volumes but the most nuanced discussion of the topic ive seen. like all tsutsui work it is in my brain forever like a worm and if i see it IRL i get an urge to reread it right there right now. which happens often cuz french libraries (justifiably!) love it

Gekiga-Yose: Fallen Words - Tatsumi Yoshihiro (2009) i got into a little gekiga rabbithole sometime last spring that segued really nicely into a rakugo moment for me. Fallen Words is neatly at the junction of the two and maybe the best way to experience rakugo stories if you cant watch performances? its not rakugo but it tries really hard to make the original jokes work in a new medium. fascinating project that i really enjoyed and laughed outloud at while reading. it also helps other rakugo-based fiction have more context and depth for a non-rakugo liker audience

Blood on the Tracks / Chi no Wadachi - Oshimi Shuzo (2017-2023) "this is not a work that wants to teach you how to heal, how to cope, or give you catharsis, or tragedy." chi no wadachi is about parental abuse and keeps to following the protagonist for as long as his mom has influence over his life, in all of the ways that she does, and nothing more. its heavy, its hard, and its something you need to meet halfway. not the oshimi shuzo work id necessarily start with but its the one i read fully this year and also the one i got into comment fights on mangadex about lol

Billy Bat - Naoki Urasawa & Nagasaki Takashi (2008-2016) billy bat is about art and its about making art and its about what if there was a bat on the moon that gave you catharsis. its got historical fiction its got protagonist changes its got walt disney its got an insane amount of historical research put in. its got two bats. its art as an universal language, as something its artist owns but that also belongs to everyone who's ever connected with it, art as the root of humanity, as the lense through which people view and shape the world. and its about a japanese-american artist named kevin.

Bokurano: Ours - Kitoh Mohiro (2003-2009) bokurano is about kids who are roped into a mecha war for earth's survival. it questions whether you can live without harming others, the nature of remorse, childhood trauma, and so on. its dubiously a death game- i count it as one but its also explicitely interested in this very question- "is this a game?". is bullying a game? Is csa a game? Is parental abuse a game? Neglect? Sibling violence? War? Is that what a game is? anything that children do?

Undercurrent - Toyoda Tetsuya (2004-2005) its easy to say reading undercurrent feels like youre drowning because the water motif is already omnipresent but this really is a piece where the story and the artistic motif are just in symbiose. undercurrent explores one woman's life managing her bathhouse almost on her own at the same time as she's dealing with more personal issues, and my first instinct upon seeing the cover is always to hold my breath. cannot say anymore just read it

+ bonus mention to Gantz - Hiroya Oku (2000 - 2013) for ruining my whole life. i didnt start it in 2023 but i was overcome by some sort of fever in january that made me finish this fucking manga and it hasn't left me since. don't read gantz. you can watch the live action movies they cut out 95% of the manga and make it actually good also akagi's actor (kanata hongo) plays my fave character in them. but whatever you do, don't read gantz.

#my death games #nicomreads #hongo playing that guy in gantz ruined me cuz now i cant remember the name of the actual character i always just call him akagi #i think hes nishi? who cares hes akagi. they put akagi in gantz. hes besties w the ball

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maliciouslycreative · 1 year ago

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I was always so jealous of friendships in shows growing up. I wanted that best friend that you lived at each other's houses and shared clothes and all of that stuff. I never got that. I was bullied all through elementary school and didn't have any close friends after the beginning of the 4th grade until like the 8th grade when a new girl moved to the school and we got close because we were kinda the 2 outcasts. I had friends in high school but it was still never close like I wanted I never met anyone that shared all my interests. I was so lucky to meet Christina online in 2003, she was my big sister but unfortunately lived so far away it always left me wanting that little bit more. Her untimely death in 2009 was so fucking devastating. It was like someone ripped the floor out from under me and I tumbled down down down...

When 2011 came around I barely survived it. But I made some changes and finally did make it. I had a new close friend group and I thought maybe I could make it. L could have been that ideal friend, that one I wanted so bad to live like their home was my second home. But I was in my mid 20s, that's not what we were supposed to do, right? We were close though and getting to see her almost every weekend for game night made me so happy.

It's funny because once her health got critically bad she told me how she wish she could have had that kind of friendship with me and my partner. She was going to try but her husband told her no that was weird and to not and gaslit her into thinking we wouldn't want it either. We've talked a lot the last several months ad her health deteriorates more and more and her husband became more and more abusive how we regretted so much. We've spent a lot of time crying together and I love her even more.

On Monday I lose her forever. She will always live on in my heart, her memory a grave eternally next to Christina's. And I will cherish them both to my last breath.

And I just. I just want to know why worthy of that friendship I wanted. Why does society hate people so much that want to value deep friendships? Why are people so fucking cruel and mock and belittle people that are different or just want to look at the world with kindness. I just want kindness and to love and be loved and instead I just keep getting devastated.

If you read through this thank you for reading all my pain. I truly will be ok I just needed to get out somw of the bitterness and sorrow. Please tell your friends you love them in whatever way you share your love. Love Greely without shame. You never know when you could lose someone forever so don't leave things unsaid.

I love every one of my friends I've met online. Truly you have saved me more than you could ever know and I wish only that I could pull you into my arms at least once and remind you that you are loved.

#malicious musings #sorry to be sad on main always #this just sucks so much #gonna go listen to spring day on repeat

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leohtttbriar · 2 years ago

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7, 12, 16, 18, 20 - that's a lot so take your pick, I just always like seeing your opinions

right back at you! was secretly hoping you would reblog the game :)

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

never really encountered this phenomena before cobra kai except for the vaguest hint of an aversion to samwise gamgee after everyone kept calling him the "real hero," but that aversion never took, and i'm ashamed to admit such weakness even now.

johnny lawrence was one of my favorite characters in cobra kai season one and then i logged onto tumblr and now i just Do Not Get It. a feeling i think from pre-season 3, even, when he was still a good and consistent character in the show. another character was robby. predictably, he was a bit babygirlified and he got soooo much more attention than sam and tory and even miguel and tbh, that made me pout massively. like. i don't care about him :(

i could be intellectual about this (and, okay, clearly the root of this petty hate is that particular sort of frustration that comes over a girl when all the boys in her fourth grade gym class get mad at her for being faster than them and then they refuse to let her play in their recess soccer game even though she's the best player--and it then sticks with her for the rest of her life) but in a vacuum i probably wouldn't feel the way i do. like, my ire is definitely in response to how other people feel about the bully character from 80's sports movie karate kid.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

you can bet that any female character that has ever been called annoying is at the top of this list. feels like girls like that are always popping up and torturing pop-culture consumers. the only one i can name right now is sam larusso, since that's the most recent model.

but also i read pride and prejudice in seventh grade. didn't get a single word of it, but i did understand that mrs. bennett was extremely annoying. then i read it again a few years later and have been her fierce defender ever since. female characters with high-pitched voices and anxiety: i adore. if you don't like those characters, in my head im thinking you're only as intelligent as me at 13.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

any sort of portrayal of spock as someone who is violent and angry and just holding it back constantly bc he hates being half human--i do Not Get It. any sort portrayal of an alien species on star trek in which the aliens learn to embrace their humanity, or something. like, i can't stand it.

i want spock to be super-duper logical and stoic. i want that to be a good thing. i want all alien characteristics to be embraced and explored. i want the weirdness. new trek just isn't doing weirdness enough! and if human morality and social structures are so universally important, stop being cowardly and explain whyyyyy.

this also applies to fanfic which is, in fact, disastrously worse on this subject. especially fanfic based on the 2009 star trek movie.

but okay it's like---the roswell conspiracy is really fun and stuff cause it is really just the government stoking some nonsense so the russians can't figure out all the special-stupid weapons and spy-equipment they're making. and then it means that everything in roswell, nm is alien themed: little green faces everywhere, three-fingered hands waving at you on billboards, "greetings earthlings," 50's era space-art, and so on. I am very into that aesthetic, especially in the middle of nowhere southwest desert with not a mountain or forest for hundred of miles. of course people were looking up and being like "there must be Something out there. look how big."

all good, yes, and silly. but people really believe it and they really believe that the aliens look the way they do! the way the "witnesses" described little looking men with big ol eyes in a big ol head and extra long arms. sweeties! that's a primate! that's an earth-creature! there's no imagination! there's no weirdness! what if the aliens didn't have a face. what if they didn't have eyes! what if they were made of a chalky substance that molted every few minutes to maintain a needed basic pH and their way of observing electromagnetic radiation was not light projected thru a lens but like little pores of mucous all over their body like the one's on sharks (ampullae of lorenzini) that absorb electromagnetic radiation and also give the creature poles which means they can block all visible light with special mind powers and maybe photosynthesize or something.

i realize that fanfiction is largely concerned with two attractive men going at it, but for all that people claim to be "monster fuckers," that really hasn't borne out in star trek fanfic. explore eroticism with the weird, with the actually alien. i want that. that'd be great. i know octavia butler and others already Did That but i want to see a star trek go boldly, you know what i mean. also, i want something more like eroticism for the sake of the erotic--not as metaphor about feminine subjugation or something (no offense ms. butler).

even if that doesn't happen, would love to read a fanfic or watch a tv show in which, for example, spock's journey is not about how oppressive being a vulcan is, or whatever.

#i could say so much more about the last one #like it is a High Horse i am riding and im not climbing back down anytime soon #star trek

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nerdfighterwhatevernumbers · 8 months ago

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I don't think everyone gets how niche nerd culture was before all the marvel movies. People would make all kinds of ungenerous assumptions about you based on your interests, but most of it was being socially awkward about something other people didn't understand. Everyone knows what cosplay is now, but in, like, 2009 if you said you were playing dress up as a teenager and your costume is some alien no one's heard about, you're a freak. Most people now have seen at least one anime on Netflix, but if you were a middle schooler with a Naruto phase you'd be doing cringe stuff like glomping your friends in the hallway and using random Japanese phrases with your friends and people would think the Death Note tshirt you're wearing is creepy. People made fun of you for listening to music that wasn't in English because they're racist and K-Pop wasn't mainstream in the U.S. yet. You know the only Kpop song that hit when I was in high school and college? Gangam Style. Before Brony culture became synonymous with being really right wing, people were made fun of for just liking a cartoon, because cartoons are for children. Worse, men were into a cartoon for girls. Some of them are girls now. People understand being really into anime and video games now because everyone is. But when you were too into something, into something people didn't want to understand, or something that wasn't American or 'manly' enough, it turned into 'bully you so you act normal' territory

Also I think that a lot of people currently involved in the backlash to early 2000s/10s nerd culture are not quite grasping how often "nerd" (and similar terms) were/are softer versions of autist/r-slur/gay freak/etc.

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tribow · 3 years ago

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I went through the touhou fanworks of 2009 and so much happened with the fanon. This year was the release of Undefined Fantastic Object and Hisoutensoku. (which is easily the best side game objectively, this is not an argument). A new and wild batch of characters gets dropped on the community and some older characters get significant developments as well. So yeah, here's my notes:

Sanae is officially evil now. She may act nice, but she's scheming under that facade. Obviously this isn't the case in all works, but she is certainly way less nice than last year.

Koishi actually opens her third eye in several works either for a gag or after getting convinced to re-open it by other Satori and/or other characters. Some of these works punched me right in the feels and it hurts knowing that canonically, she aint opening that eye.

Utsuho isn't very stupid around this time. She's just extremely forgetful. Don't give her a task that has more than 3 steps!

Morino Hon starts producing fanworks in 2009!!! That's my favorite doujinshi creator! Read their stuff it's top tier.

Marisa cooks increasingly more dangerous food.

Nue has no prior connection to Byakuren in canon like the rest of the UFO cast, but in fanon she almost always does.

Yamame is practically Kisume's mom

Yamame also gets hella bullied.

Wriggle is uuh, Wriggle is getting dominated quite a lot.

Tenshi and Iku rarely show up, did SWR get slept on?

Daiyousei has finally snapped. She either gets pretty scary when mad or is even depicted as much stronger than Cirno in some way, but is hiding it. Don't mess with Daiyousei!

Mima tends to be seen hanging out with Yuuka rather than haunting the Hakurei Shrine now

bkub? pog (i might have the wrong year)

Kogasa can't surprise people with scares since she's too cute, so instead she usually ends up surprising people with sudden declarations of love. Whether or not this actually feeds her never seems to said.

Nazrin will never admit it, but she really does like cheese.

Byakuren is genuinely scary. Many works take her philosophy to the absolute extreme. The lengths she goes to protect and bring salvation to youkai can spell genocide for humans. Those who oppose her philosophy may be brutalized even if they're youkai. It's a very edgy take on Byakuren and is nearly the opposite to how she is canonically. I wonder if this depiction will last long outside of 2009 when she gets more fleshed out (especially with Ten Desires).

Shou is depicted as mostly pathetic which is surprising to me...look she's the only reason I haven't beaten UFO I can't see her as weak!

Yuugi is everyone's big sister.

Would you believe that Meiling almost never fell asleep at the gate until now? Usually she was just too weak or stupid to guard it properly and now she just sleeps.

Murasa always goes down with the ship if it crashes (which happens often)

Kisume does not get enough content. For shame!

Both Reimu and Marisa die a lot this year.

Utsuho really likes eggs for some reason...and not in a motherly way.

Mokou's friendship ended with Kaguya. Now Keine is best friend. Eirin is there for Kaguya though.

Aki sisters are desperate for popularity. They'll do anything!

Okay this is a western joke and I can't even confirm if this was 2009, but I would be remissed if I didn't mention the SAKE NOT EVEN DROP post about Yuugi. It's still funny.

Mystia's grilled eel stand doubles as a barstand now.

No Ichirin/Unzan focused content??? For shame!!!!!

Kanako has her own "charisma break" situation going on. She does her best to look cool, but completely crumbles whenever someone embarrasses her.

This bleeds into 2010, but Alice tends to start trying to bring life into her dolls and it often puts her character in a real dark place. It's the most introspective the fanbase gets with her.

Muuuch more focus on the newer characters. SA gets some of the most heart-wrenching doujins here and the UFO-cast is mainly used for gags (unless your name is Byakuren).

A real interesting year.

Also read Warugaki's, Morino Hon's, and bkub's stuff. Not sure if 2009 is their start or not, but they're all legends in my book.

#touhou #doujins #fanon #fanwork #managed to condense it a bit than originally planned #the 2008 post was larger than I thought it was. but i feel like I could have removed half of those bullet points ngl #Here everything feels way more significant #also we have reached peak Meiling hours #do people even read tags this far #i can put anything in here #flat chest utsuho is better than big tiddy utsuho. it's true #2009 #touhou fanon years

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furuyalover · 3 years ago

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really specific hobbies i think jjk characters have

— ft. various jjk characters

warnings: swearing and me being right 😪

AN: 100% canon bc i said so. ALSO HALF OF THESE ARE BASED ON THINGS I DO HELPAJF

YUUJI: plays just dance religiously. practically daily. has every single game since 2009, and his favorite one is just dance 2011 because obviously. also makes everyone play just dance with him and gets mad at megumi for having no energy.

MEGUMI: does crosswords all the time.... brags about his new york times crossword subscription, and how he can do all the complex puzzles... i know he lives in japan and not america but bear with me also there’s a corner in with room with a stack of crossword books. they’re all finished. i’m convinced this is an addiction.

NOBARA: archive fashion. i just KNOW she follows a fuck ton of archive fashion blogs and accounts, and has the BEST pieces. also has such diverse taste like from vivienne westwood, to jun takahashi, to rick owens, etc.

GOJO: playing chess and sucking ass. started because he wanted to seem smart and impress women but turns out.... he’s so bad. hes spent so much time learning how to play, yet he uses no strategies at all... won against nanami ONCE though and will never let him hear the end of it

NANAMI: beating gojo in chess. also i feel like nanami is really into art history... like he knows way too much about art and no one realizes because he’s just keeping all this knowledge inside him until someone goes to a museum with him

GETOU: bullying gojo. as accurate as that is thats not his actual hobby, but instead it’s analyzing mitski lyrics. no further explanation.

TOGE: making memes.... OK HEAR ME OUT the boy can’t talk without ripping a hole in the space time continuum or some shit, so he expresses himself with memes 😭 AND I JUST KNOW HE MAKES MEMES ABOUT HIS CLASSMATES AND GOJO

MAKI: writing a diss track about the zenin clan and reading jane austen books. MAKI LOVES JANE AUSTEN I WILL TAKE ZERO CRITICISM !! also commenting “L,” “ratio,” and “mid” on people’s posts learned this from nobara...

YUUTA: i can’t explain why.... but yuuta gives me hardcore pokemon go player vibes...he’s 100% been playing since it came out and refuses to quit. he’s also played almost every pokemon game on his switch and ds... this just makes so much sense to me.

CHOSO: SPORTS. any of them. doesn’t matter because he’s good at all of them and looks good doing it too. he’s also a little too good and sports video games... especially wii sports whooped yuujis ass in wii baseball

JUNPEI: does movie reviews except he calls them “films” because a pretentious little shit. has a yt channel for this and occasionally invites yuuji to feature in a video

SHOKO: binge watching. anything. sometimes it’s for background noise, other times it’s a show she’s really into and will invite her friends to this marathon that’ll go on all night... uses this as an excuse to drink

UTAHIME: similar to choso, sports! she’s really good at everything but she prefers watching to playing sports. since she’s well versed in a lot of sports + pays attention to all the teams she uses this to gamble... also convinced mei mei to give her gambling money by saying she’ll give her 50%...

MAI: i just know mai is artistic as fuck and can probably draw really well, but i have a feeling she uses these talents for vandalism.... she goes from graffiti tagging to little mini murals making fun of todo, and has yet to be caught maki thinks her murals are really funny though

MIWA: photography!!! miwa first just took photos of things she thought looked nice but then she just got infatuated with photography and taking unique photos! even though she’s a photography snob she cherishes her chaotic iphone selfies with her friends and gojo the most

NISHIMIYA: thrifting + gardening!! she gives a gardener vibe but she’s more into it for the cute pots and gardening accessories, this is where the thrifting comes in! invites mai & miwa to thrift w her so she has an excuse to hangout w them

KAMO: I JUST READ HIS WIKI AND IT SAYS HIS HOBBY IS STUDYING... kamo sweetie i love you, but no. your record is vinyl collecting now. it just makes sense to me and you can listen to them while you study ig....

MECHAMARU: computer science. “oh you’re just saying that because he controls a robot” OK AND ?? bro just programmed all the robots abilities and he taught miwa how to code too <3 ik this is probably so off but let me have this i wanted an excuse to write about him and miwa.

TODO: making off beat edits of takada and running a very successful fan page for her as well. ALSO HANGING OUT WITH BESTIE YUUJI 🙏🙏

SUKUNA: killing people ??? idk man

#game time!#they just like me fr #yuuta’s is based off of myself.....#i’m so funny and creative lol.#jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jjk hcs

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 3 years ago

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For those of us who remember well how the mainstream media enthusiasm for war helped fuel not just this ill-advised war in Afghanistan twenty years ago, but the even bigger debacle in Iraq, the current media narrative is both bewildering and exhausting.

To be clear, there are some errors Biden made in withdrawing. Critics focused on the Afghans trying to flee the country without help from Americans are 100% right, and every effort should be made to get refugees to safety. Still, this larger media outrage over the withdrawal is a dark reminder of the pro-war bias in the press that helped create this mess in the first place: luring the American public into thinking a war in Afghanistan could ever end in any other way.

[…]

Biden spent eight years watching military leaders mislead President Barack Obama into believing that there was a way to win this war. Indeed, as blogger-turned-journalist-turned-blogger-again Matthew Yglesias — who also learned the hard way the dangers of buying into the media's imperialist war hype during the Iraq War — pointed out on Twitter, military leaders "were still hoping that turning the Trump/Biden withdrawal policy into an embarrassing shitshow would successfully bully the White House into reversing course the way they squeezed Obama in 2009 and Trump in 2017." He also suggested it would have worked if Biden hadn't spent 8 years witnessing that bamboozling in action.

[…]

The generous view of this pro-war bias on the media's part is that journalists give undue credence to the opinions of military brass and foreign policy hawks. It's tempting for a lot of journalists to treat these leaders as objective experts, rather than as people whose own egos have led them to embrace forever war to avoid admitting defeat. Certainly, it seems that the "defer to the experts" mentality is why Obama, who went into office with an anti-war message, was so easy to cow on these matters. But even the Washington Post's own reporting shows how much of a lost cause the Afghanistan war has been for years, and probably always was, making this "Biden screwed up" narrative even more inexcusable.

The less generous interpretation is that the mainstream media is thick with dudes (and a few women) who have read one too many doorstopper histories of WWII and are still wrapped up in fantasies of American military triumph. Either way, the result is what we saw over the weekend: A press that appears to have learned nothing about the dangers of reflexively backing a hawkish foreign policy and military establishment, despite debacles dating back to the Vietnam War.

"Perhaps the only thing Trump has in common with the current president is that Biden's also been an Afghanistan skeptic for years and was known as a voice pushing for ending American involvement within the Obama administration," Heather "Digby" Parton wrote back in April. Donald Trump had "no understanding of the complexities and only saw it as a way to burnish his reputation as a 'winner' and a 'deal maker,'" she added, and yet even he still understood that there is no value in a forever war.

This is why it's good to be skeptical of the kneejerk assumption in the mainstream media that Biden will pay politically for "losing" the unwinnable war. Polling data on American attitudes about Afghanistan has long shown a mess. Most Americans don't know or care enough about the issue to have informed opinions. But this tacit agreement between Trump and Biden that it's time to get out — again, probably the only thing they agree about — points to the fact that this endless conflict in Afghanistan doesn't really fit into what ordinary Americans, right or left, believe the American military is for. Liberals tend to reject American imperialism outright and see the military only in defensive terms. As for conservatives, well, Trump's tendency to talk about "keeping the oil" from Middle Eastern countries was, as usual for him, gross and illegal. But it was also an insight into how ordinary conservatives see American imperialism, as something only worth engaging in as a pillaging exercise. This whole pretense that we're going to set up other nations as democracies at the end of a gun no longer holds interest among ordinary Republican voters.

[…]

It's doubtful, however, that most Americans will ultimately remember this differently than they do the end of the Vietnam War or the withdrawal from Iraq — as a sad but inevitable end to yet another misguided American adventure war. Biden won't be seen as a failure, so much as the guy who just accepted a reality that multiple presidents refused to embrace.

Unfortunately, the media response to the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan after 20 years doesn't leave one with much hope that the mainstream press will be wiser the next time the hawks start beating the war drums, trying to lure the U.S. into yet another expensive entanglement bound for failure.

#just pasted like half the article #but it’s a good read on the background of American journalism and the Afghanistan war #also like you can’t talk about Afghanistan in 2021 without talking about Iraq in 2003 #politics #us politics #media #journalism

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passable-talent · 4 years ago

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ya boi is back with a new niche character played by hayden christensen for yall to enjoy.

CW: blood, wounds, cursing, piercings, tattoos, guns, fighting, deaths of unnamed characters

AJ x gn!reader - Takers (2010). the stupid hat grew on me.

dedicated as always to @haydens-moles and @iscariot-rising for being my friends and for appreciating hayden as much as I do

The story of your life, as you loved to explain it, boiled down to a little math joke. Excited five, you called it, or it’s official terminology- five factorial. Written as “5!”, hence the awful pun.

“Factorials,” you’d say, “for those that don’t remember, are a multiplication of every number up to the one that’s being discussed. As such, five factorial is five, times four, times three, times two, times one.”

Your life, your excited five, was as follows: five major scars, four tattoos, three piercings, two eyebrow slits.

“The one is usually ignored,” you’d say, “as it makes no multiplicative difference. That’s why I don’t have a ‘one’.”

In August, 2009, you got your ‘one’. Its a doozy. But we’re not there yet.

~~~

Five major scars.

December 25, 1983. It’s your first Christmas. Your parents think you’re just being a cranky infant, but something way more serious is going on- they find out the next day that you’ve got RSV, a respiratory virus that’s especially dangerous for infants. You spend the next three years periodically using a ventilator whenever the coughing acts up. You don’t remember much of it, other than the vaguely crayon-looking piece of the machine, but you can’t forget that it happened, due to the pretty white scar over the bridge of your nose. It’s not such a gnarly wound as it is a reminder- not of the ventilator that wore through your skin thanks to frequent use, but of the virus that almost took your life only a few months after it had begun.

July 28, 1993. You’re seven years old, staying at your grandmother’s house with your cousin, who’s six months older than you. You’re playing cops and robbers- he’s the cop. The forest streaks by as you run the length of the property, slightly faster than him, but he catches you and throws you down. You land on your back on a jagged rock, not only painfully impacting your spine but digging deeply into your muscles beside it. It was the first hospital visit you remember, and the dark, long scar halfway between your tailbone and your shoulders reminds you never to fall without controlling it.

January 15, 1998. You’re in sophomore year of high school, and not the most popular. You like to play by the rules, and some asshole junior decides that he doesn’t like the way you won’t let him cheat off of your trigonometry homework, and decides that a knife is the best way to settle the problem. Those homework answers weren’t worth the long white line over all four of the knuckles of your left hand, but it is a pretty little reminder that lowlifes do what they want. And law enforcement, or whatever your school called the ‘anti-bullying league’, does jack shit about it.

October 30, 2002. You’re almost done with your certification to become a cop- thank god. You couldn’t stand the people who were to become your graduate class. They were so ready to become cops just to bully people, just to get to weild an iron fist and hide their bloodlust behind the law. Not you- you’re here to do some real good. That’s what they don’t like about you. And that’s why Fred Young splits open your cheek when just he’s supposed to be practicing his sparring. It’s an ugly scar, needed six stitches, but it’s a reminder that even the cops aren’t always the good guys.

May 14, 2004. You’re a new cop, working under detective Wells. There’s a robbery of a jewelry store a few blocks from where you’re patrolling, and as you’re making your way to the scene, a man in a fedora runs smack into you, taking you both to the ground. Broken glass digs into your shoulder, but he apologizes, and his blue eyes look so genuine. He’s afraid. You’d not realize until a month later that he wasn’t a scared bystander, but in fact one of the thieves. The fifth of your scars matches your first meeting with AJ- who would, by the end of the summer, become one of the most important people in your life.

~~~

Four tattoos.

August 4, 1999- Left wrist, inside knob of the bone. The little symbol had represented something to you when you were sixteen, but it had long lost whatever meaning you’d given it. Now, it was just a pattern to pass your thumb over whenever you got restless.

February 16, 2002- The cap of the right shoulder. It was your bunk number, from when you were training to be a cop. Nothing extravagant, but it was supposed to represent the beginning of the rest of your life- it was supposed to represent your calling.

June 1, 2004- Left arm, the outside of the forearm. Bleeding from your first tattoo was a new one, the largest one on your body. It was geometrical and high contrast, black lines loosely following your veins up toward your elbow, as though that left hand was bringing darkness into your body. It did- you shot with your left hand.

July 17, 2004- Right collarbone. A single, circular monogram, made up of six letters.

T A K E R S.

~~~

Three piercings.

April 7, 1989. Your father took you to get your ears pierced, but insisted upon arrival that it was too expensive to get both done, so you only got your left. The assymetrical style would have to grow on you- at six years old, you hated it.

May 19, 2003. You couldn’t have piercings at the academy, they were unprofessional, they were dangerous. So the night of graduation, you went out and got a hole punched into your nostril- the pain made tears well up, but more than anything, it was the satisfaction of giving a pretty little ‘fuck you’ to your superiors, who you’d never see again.

July 18, 2006. AJ takes you to a fancy beauty salon for an eyebrow bar after hearing maybe once that you’d wanted another piercing. You knew you were in love with him- who else in your life had ever paid such close attention to you?

~~~

Two eyebrow slits.

June 23, 2004. You leave the police force. You tell Wells that it’s because you’re pissed you can’t find the guys that robbed the jewelry store, but that’s not even close to the truth. You’ve found them- hell, you got a good look at one of them on the very day of the robbery. But you’ve done the looking, and didn’t have the heart to bring them in. They had families. They donated ten percent of every heist to a charity. They did more for the community than the police you worked for, and they did it clean- they didn’t hurt anybody, if they didn’t have to. They did what you’d hoped to do, when you joined the force. What you’d never gotten to do. Eyebrow slits were considered extremely unprofessional, so the moment you were free of your two week notice, you split open your right eyebrow. It would give a good balance to the bar piercing you hoped to put through your left someday.

March 4, 2007. You’re cleaning up your slit when AJ walks into the room and stands behind you so that you can see him through the mirror. You keep your eyes on the trimmer you’re so delicately running over your skin, but when he opens up a little felt box with a pretty ring inside, you whirl around with such panic that you make the slit approximately half an inch wider than it should’ve been. Lilli helped you fill in the gap for the engagement photos, but you decided to keep a second slit on the other end of the unfortunate shave- a little reminder of the evening in which he proposed to you.

~~~

“The one is usually ignored,” you’d say, “as it makes no multiplicative difference. That’s why I don’t have a ‘one’.”

On August 27, 2009, you got your ‘one’.

You’d been out of the game for two years, choosing not to take a cut of the winnings. You’d advise, you’d plan, you’d set up, but you did not want to be on site when the heist went down. The boys had it taken care of, and you butted heads with Jesse far too often for anyone’s comfort.

You especially couldn’t work on this project, thanks to a little fucker named Ghost- he didn’t trust you, as a member of the Takers he’d never met, and you didn’t trust him, as a criminal you’d never grown to respect.

You knew that most of them didn’t trust Ghost either, but everything he brought forward checked out- AJ must’ve mumbled the plan thirty times in his sleep in the five days from its suggestion to its fruition. There were no holes. Knowing Gordon and John, they had some ‘insurance’ for Ghost, anyway. In case it went wrong.

Still, you stayed at the Hotel Roosevelt through it all. You were their sitter, keeping the hotel room warm and ready for their arrival. They arrived back one by one- and like usual, AJ got there first. He, Gordon, and John were usually the first to get out, but he always made it back to the room first, because that way he could get some time with you. That way, he could have a private reunion, fresh off of a job.

“Hey, baby,” he said as he closed the door, and you waited for him to turn his eyes to you before you gave him a smile. He threw down his bag onto one of the chairs, and it landed with a heavy thump, but you’d long grown used to the sound of the score. However much he pulled, good for him. You were just happy to slip your arms around his neck and feel him kiss the scar on your cheekbone before sliding his lips to yours.

He always kissed different right after a job- before the boys had all gotten back, before the total was counted. He had a confidence to his movement, but there was fear, insecurity, just a tinge. He wasn’t just a taker, he was a man, who had worries and risks just like every other man.

You were out of the game for a few reasons. They had it taken care of. You butted heads with Jesse. You didn’t trust Ghost. But you knew that you were AJ’s biggest fear- you knew that if you got hurt on a job, he’d never forgive himself.

So he kissed you, he held you close, he reminded himself that you were here, you were fine. His long fingers seems to take up half your back, and his hair was already in his face, as though you’d tugged it there yourself.

With just one more pass of your lips over his, you pulled away.

“How’d it go?” You asked with a soft voice, rolling your first finger through the curls at the back of his neck.

“Could’ve gone better,” he said with a chuckle, “but we got it done.” You heard a knock at the door, and Gordon was the next arrival- then John, then Jake, then Ghost. Jesse came last, and with him, a whole host of new problems.

A bullet splintered the door and caught AJ somewhere under the ribcage. Everyone hit the floor, diving behind couches, and you popped your head up long enough to see AJ launch over the kitchen island. The room shattered into gunfire and feathers from expensive pillows, glass shards littering the ground like raindrops. It all moved so fast, and the air exploded into noise. You could barely track AJ through it all, he was so far away, all the way across the room. And you wanted to keep your eye straight down the barrel of your gun.

“AJ!” Jesse called from beside you, hidden behind a brown leather couch, “You okay?” You looked around the side of it, and saw him ten feet from you, the longest ten feet of your life, behind the kitchen island. He was struggling, on his hands and knees.

“Get up,” you snarled, knowing he’d already taken a hit.

“Out the back!” John ordered from the doorway behind you, and you started to realize the moment, the dangerous, heavy moment. AJ was all the way across the room- he couldn’t cross it. Not with these mobsters holding ground.

“Let’s go!” Gordon shouted, and your eyes connected with AJ’s. He saw the same thing you did.

“Go,” he said, voice calm, and it cut through the chaos of the room, cut through every hardened lesson ever pounded into you, cut through every wall you’d ever built around you, around your heart. “I’m coming.”

AJ was a good liar. But he couldn’t lie to you.

“No,” you growled through gritted teeth, and you made a rash decision.

You’d always been good at gymnastics. You had strong control over the movement of your body, and had, ever since you’d learned from your cousin throwing you down onto that stone that split open your back. You could move and slink and roll and dive in ways that would keep you not only from falling, but even from being noticed.

Using the chaos as your cover, you did a tight diving roll across the room to him, slipping between shelters unscathed. This brought you just a bit closer to the mobsters, but further from the back door exit that Gordon had been trying to guide you toward. You’d chose AJ over your safety any day- the surprise and the fear in his eyes said that he wished you wouldn’t.

Making sure you had enough ammo, you considered your final move- this didn’t end until these mobsters did. There were five of them left, after all this commotion: four in the room, one in the hall. You couldn’t take all five, not with their guns being so much more than yours, but you could take out a few. You could shift attention, you could buy time.

And hopefully, you could stay breathing, too. That’d be nice.

“Stay down,” you hissed, leaving AJ behind the island where he’d be forgotten about, or assumed dead. Then, you rounded the corner and rolled to the feet of the closest mobster. As you came out of the roll you caught his legs in yours, wrenching them from under him and taking him to the ground with one of the first moves you’d learned in basic training. He hit the wall hard, and was unconscious by the time he landed- the same could not be said for his friends.

From your right, you could see Gordon, still firing, still hopeful for your and AJ’s escape. Your shoulders were above the couch, so you knew he saw as you turned your weapon to the second mobster before he could turn to you, and stopped his heart.

Your commotion had caught the attention of the other three who still remained. You whirled around and raised your gun to one of them, but they managed it first.

Gordon had to swallow back his horror as he saw a bullet enter the front of your side profile, and blood explode from the back. He took out the mobster who still had his attention on you- but your shoulders smacked to the ground outside of his view, and he closed the door.

Luckily, their aim was spotty. You now had a useless left arm, but you were still breathing. Not that you’d let the one remaining mobster notice that.

You and AJ played dead, only a few feet from each other, but the kitchen island becoming a thicker wall than any you’d ever been split by. As you stared blankly at the ceiling, taking shallow breaths hidden by the folds of your shirt, you hoped he didn’t think you were dead. You hoped he wasn’t bleeding out.

After what felt like agonizingly long minutes, the shooting finally stopped, and the door opened again. Gordon was the first to enter the room, and rounded the couch to you, grief in his eyes, expecting the worst.

But you could give him a smile.

“Surprise,” you groaned, and he lit up in relief, helping you sit up with your good arm.

“Look at you, playing dirty,” he said with a laugh, “I thought you were gone for sure.”

“AJ,” you heard Jake say from across the room, and finally AJ could sit up from where you’d forced him down. The two of you had both bled straight through your shirts, but there wasn’t any time for sweet reunions- everyone had to get out, and fast.

AJ left his car wherever it was. John gave the two of you a ride to the airstrip where Gordon was going to disappear for a while, and on the way you and AJ attempted to give each other first aid until the personnel on the plane could take care of it.

Eventually, you leaned against his left, and he against your right, your wounds still stinging and sticky with blood, but manageable, for as long as they needed to be.

The night didn’t get any easier, but that didn’t matter- you were home free, they’d managed the job, and Ghost was out of the picture, and neither of you were going to die.

And someday, when you felt brave enough to recount your near-death, near-loss, near-jailed experience, you’d say:

Five major scars, four tattoos, three piercings, two eyebrow slits. And one gun shot wound.

-🦌 Roe

#reader insert #angst #aj #aj takers #takers #takers 2010 #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #x reader #gn!reader #aj x reader #fics

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phanfictioncatalogue · 4 years ago

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Fics To Make You Cry (3) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: June 13th, 2023

part one, part two

A Cough You Can't Shake (ao3) - Emptylester (timelordangel)

Summary: The tours are finished and wrapped up into two films and a book, but Dan's re-branding might be something unexpected. As the most eventful year of their lives comes to a close, Dan finds himself with an unexpected diagnosis and a best friend he just can't fathom leaving.

Bad Boys Don’t Smile (wattpad) - phanci

Summary: Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school’s stereotypical ‘bad boy’. But if he’s so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone’s heart?

blue can be kind, too (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: A tale of being scared, starting fresh, and making your first ever friends after experiencing violent bullying.

Or rather, four-year-old Dan's first day at his new kindergarten.

can we try again? (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: “Yeah, Phil. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dan answers, softer than he’d wanted because he already knows what he’s about to do next.

(or Dan doesn't turn up in 2009 and bumps into Phil 11 years later at a youtube convention)

Details of an Asteroid (ao3) - dantiloquent

Summary: When Dan and Phil keep bumping into each other, they eventually give in to chance and start talking. Soon enough, Dan makes a home at the library Phil works at, and they talk about nothing and everything so often that there is no going back. The two survive the future just fine, until they learn the flaws of leaning the weight of your existence on someone else’s shoulders.

Go Ask Your Father (ao3) - dannihowell (anotherdaughter)

Summary: The five times Dan happily said ‘Go ask your father,’ and the one time he didn’t.

If You Don't Love Me, Pretend (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: All his life, Dan has wanted to have the chance to be a parent someday. He would be the best parent that ever existed, he was sure of it. Fostering might not be the most traditional way on the road to parenting, but Dan's dead set on doing it anyway. But, well, it would be easier with a co-parent, right?

the bed-sharing, fake relationship, friends-to-lovers, parent fic i was desperate to read; when i shouted into the void and was met with silence, i decided i'd do it myself

just once to be lifted strong (ao3) - The_Blonde

Summary: "Maybe it is random. Maybe the lynx was just the next one waiting in line for its human and that human had happened to be Dan, awkwardly manoeuvring his way around the outskirts of situations while it prowled at his side. Or maybe it represented some inner part of Dan, golden and glowing, hidden somewhere amongst all the shadows, something that he could get to if he actually looked. Dan’s more inclined to go with the first one (though he’d considered the second one numerous times. It just wasn’t possible)."

Or: Dan is a boy with a missing anima. He finds a Phil instead.

Love You For Always (ao3)- TwistedRocketPower

Summary: (tw) In the UK, an estimated 6,000 children die each year. When Dan and Phil became parents almost seven years ago, they never imagined they would become a part of that statistic.

my heart will howl (till you pull it off the ground) (ao3) - islet

Summary: Dan caters to his wanderlust by driving them from London to France, Phil ponders the idea of marriage, and nobody wins at this game of life, after all.

Not So Simple Misunderstandings - xinyanhowell

Summary: It was the most regular of Tuesdays in the lives of Dan and Phil. But what happens when Dan gets a call during a liveshow that may change his life forever?

seasalt (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: prompt: retirement

dan and phil have lived a good life together

Staring at the Sea (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Dan wears a braided chain made of finest silver from the north of Spain, a locket that bears the name of the man that he loves.

Texts Phil Never Read - six-foot-two-phanchild

Summary: Phil will never read Dan’s texts. He still sends them, though. He’s not too sure why.

The Warmth of Other Suns (ao3) - Emptylester (timelordangel)

Summary: The entire time Dan and Phil are in America, Dan is technically pregnant- but he's the only one one who doesn't talk about it like he's sick with a cancerous growth that needs to be removed as soon as possible. It's pretty horrible to have hope that you'll get to have a biological kid with your significant other and then have it ripped away; this is more about the emotional journey. The baby might not make it, but Dan and Phil will.

when i sing, you sing harmonies (ao3) - The_Blonde

Summary: "Dan’s two minute sonatas reduce to one minute and then to a sad thirty seconds of something lilting and beautiful. It’s sad in such a way that Phil, having begged Dan to play, actually can’t stand and listen to something so full of longing. Sad in a way that it could have been written for Phil (but not possible. Dan doesn’t even know Phil). Sad in a way that Dan could just walk over, take Phil’s heart from his chest and say can I have this? and Phil would say of course, it’s yours".

Or: Witch Phils and the Piano Playing Dans that they just want to make happy (with a sprinkling of magic).

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #angst #tw #ficstomakeyoucry #ficstomakeyoucry masterlist

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unbound-space-trash · 4 years ago

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Tagged by @oonajaeadira 💜 one day I’ll get tagged in one that I can tag you in first

1. Why did you choose your url? I’m not entirely sure why I chose it, I just know that I was like “hmm, I’m trash, why not be space trash!”

2. Any side blogs? yeah, @roll-for-stupid is my Critical Role sideblog because I wasn’t quite ready to let it go when I deleted my old main. I completely set that one back up before I did anything with my new main

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? this account is baby, but I’ve been on tumblr since 2009, maybe end of 2008 (and hooooly shit I just realised how long ago that was o.o )

4. Do you have a queue tag? no queue because I can not be fucked

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? for a fresh start. like I said, I’ve been on tumblr for like, 13 years, and I’d had the same account right up until the beginning of this year. too many people I know irl were following me (and only a couple of them were people I still liked), and I wanted to go back to that delightful nerdy anonymity

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? because it wasn’t my face. I’m actually thinking of changing it

7. Why did you choose your header? bisexual flag? bisexual user? the math is easy on that one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8. What’s your post with the most notes? probably the first fic that I wrote when I dove into the Mandalorian fandom

9. How many mutuals do you have? lmao like, 8

10. How many followers do you have? 43

11. How many people do you follow? 114

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? alllll the time, they’re usually Critical Role related ones though, so they’re on my side

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day? ... I don’t think I’m quite ready to embarrass myself by answering that...

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? yeah, years ago when I broke off a toxic friendship that person got one of their friends to try to bully me

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? the ones that are like “you’re a bad person if you ignore this” to guilt trip people into reblogging them? I ignore them out of spite. I’m trying to get better at reblogging fics, but I’m still so used to hiding that part of me for so long

16. Do you like tag games? I love them

17. Do you like ask games? yuppers

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? you’re all famous in my heart 💜

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? all o’ y’all 💜

20. absolutely no pressure tags: @omgreally @beefcakebarnes @clints-lucky-arrow

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houroftheantichristwolf · 4 years ago

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Lesbian Politicization

This was published 1990 in a book called Dykes-Loving-Dykes: Dyke Separatist Politics for Lesbians Only and illustrates exactly the long-standing issue with women appropriating lesbianism, using their political beliefs to try to define female homosexual existence in relation to opposing men. The agenda, of course, is to say fuck males and to fight the ever elusive and ever changing culture of patriarchy.

That’s 100% relevant and helpful for actual homosexual females....not.

I’ll make this short though, this is just to show how feminists been appropriating lesbians and applying their values to lesbian existence.

In the 1980’s, a decade of reactionary politics, femininity became an accepted value among many Lesbians. Even many politically radical Lesbians, who I would most expect to support Lesbian self-love and self-respect, who usually call male bullshit for what it is, began to openly admire feminine ways of dressing and acting. Femininity! A patriarchal hype if there ever was one.

Lesbians who didn’t look the way you personally think is more useful for your cause probably didn’t care to make a political statement out of their existence. The point of lesbians seeking lesbian communities is to find other lesbians - with the exception of those who WANTED to seek out political radical lesbian communities. That is not an inherent aspect of our existence, and to be honest, it’s not even a large part of it as women appropriating lesbians usually populated those communities. Here is a recap of the origins of radical “lesbian” separatism: *** [ In the late 70s a group of lesbians in Leeds, known as revolutionary feminists (RFs), made a controversial move that resonated loudly for me and many other women. They began calling for all feminists to embrace lesbianism. Appealing to their heterosexual sisters to get rid of men “from your beds and your heads”, they started a debate, which reached its height in 1981 with the publication of an infamous booklet, Love Your Enemy? The Debate Between Heterosexual Feminism and Political Lesbianism (LYE). In this, the RFs wrote that, “all feminists can and should be lesbians. Our definition of a political lesbian is a woman-identified woman who does not fuck men. It does not mean compulsory sexual activity with women. It’s no surprise that the booklet was so controversial. “We think serious feminists have no choice but to abandon heterosexuality,” it reads. “Only in the system of oppression that is male supremacy does the oppressor actually invade and colonise the interior of the body of the oppressed.” https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/30/women-gayrights “Political lesbianism originated in the late 1960s among second wave radical feminists as a way to fight sexism and compulsory heterosexuality. Sheila Jeffreys helped to develop the concept when she co-wrote “Love Your Enemy? The Debate Between Heterosexual Feminism and Political Lesbianism”[3] with the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group. They argued that women should abandon support of heterosexuality and stop sleeping with men, while encouraging women to rid men “from your beds and your heads.”[4] Heterosexual behavior is seen as the basic unit of the patriarchy’s political structure, lesbians who reject heterosexual behavior therefore disrupt the established political system.[5]Ti-Grace Atkinson, a radical feminist who helped to found the group The Feminists, is attributed with the phrase that embodies the movement: ‘Feminism is the theory; lesbianism is the practice.’[6]” ] ***

Lesbians’ acceptance of anything “feminine” is part of the weakening of Lesbian politics—a Lesbian parallel to the right-wing trend of het politics.

LOL good. Being a lesbian does not mean representing anything political. Also what the fuck? This is where queer activists got their penchant for calling lesbians Nazis lol. Where’s that meme that’s like, anyone I don’t like is a Nazi? lol great homophobia, Queen/dumbass.

Those Lesbians who act out the feminine model and claim it’s a contribution to Lesbian culture, a flowering forth of their “real selves,” are of course Fems

So feminine lesbians’ real selves aren’t acceptable within your framework because they trigger your contempt of gender presentation that you yourself do not have to take part of? But your “real self” - a non-lesbian pretending to be a lesbian - is commendable because you want other lesbians to act and look exactly how you do which supposedly is off-putting to patriarchy AKA you use our sexual orientation to say fuck you to men? I think not.

The het media is full of stories about the het feminist who “realizes that she doesn’t have to give up being a woman to be a success in life,” who “regrets having tried to be like a man,” and is now “rediscovering the excitement of feminine seductiveness, the fun of dressing up in high heels, make-up and skirts, and her deep need for the joys of motherhood.”

“Realizes she doesn’t have to give up being a woman to be a success in life”; “and her deep need for the joys of motherhood.” So you understand femininity = heterosexuality. This is the 80s/90s, I wonder what her opinion is now that ‘femininity’ has changed: heterosexual women wear gym clothes, lift weights, have short hair, wear no make up or minimal make up etc., and men love it. And yet I see feminists also say that heterosexual women who are like this are still trying to please men and so are still feminine even though what they’re doing and how they’re looking is not “feminine” according to the original perception. So what’s the truth about ‘femininity?’ It’s equating it to anything that heterosexual men find appealing, which changes constantly. You really want lesbians to spend time to think about how to be as unappealing to males as possible when they’re not even relevant and so don’t dominate our every thought and action (unlike you maybe because you’re not homosexual and so have to try harder?)? Please, get real.

She’s a threat to the Big Lie of “feminine woman,” and so men and their women collaborators make up all kinds of ridiculous, hateful fictions to explain away her existence. The pressure is meant to humiliate and bully her into accepting femininity, and it must put her through soul-shaking self-doubt, even if she knows other Butches.

While I do know this happens, the reason behind that is homophobia 100%, being “masculine” appearing is a red marker of homosexuality. The threat is the big lie of heterosexuality. “Feminine” lesbians were assaulted when with their partners or if found out that they are indeed homosexual, they were just less of an obvious target than “masculine” women. It’s not Oppression Olympics, this should be used to understand hate crimes against homosexual women.

Meanwhile, girls who accept femininity—the vast majority, unfortunately—are accepted as “real girls” and encouraged to take pride in their feminine ways. There are degrees of femininity, of course. Some Fem girls accept the complete emaciated drag queen sex-object ideal while others take on just enough feminine identity to still be accepted as real girls.

“Real girls.” I was definitely acknowledged as a “real girl” when I was still more “unfeminine” in my appearance and not out than I am right now being out. What degree of ‘femininity’ am I considered to exhibit now according to feminist praxis, who knows. Either way, my relatives disagree that any amount of femininity would make me a ‘normal’ female. My mother was sad toward the end of her life because she felt conflicted that I wasn’t a ‘real’ female. You know what would’ve changed her perception? Being with a man and having kids.

It means spending time, energy and money on nail polish, perfume, hair-do’s, dresses, diets, body-shaping exercises, poses and games; fantasizing yourself as the center of sexual attention, making everything into a sexual game, getting yourself further and further away from female reality, from real female Lesbian power. It means identifying more and more with het values and choosing to see yourself through men’s eyes.

I thought femininity was clothes, makeup and seeking to attract men. Then it’s wanting a family and diet and exercise, which aren’t exclusive to heterosexual men and women. But because heterosexual males find that appealing in their lives it’s considered feminine? So, again, “femininity” is anything heterosexual males find appealing in females. Got it. And that answers my question about what her thoughts probably are on contemporary “femininity.”

Most importantly, choosing to be an obvious Lesbian is about living with integrity. A Butch’s choice to resist femininity is the choice of a female who’s being true to herself, choosing to be as alive to her female self as possible, regardless of the punishments inflicted on her as a result. I find in that resistance a key to Dyke power, Dyke beauty and Dyke love.

A lesbian being an actual lesbian - not pretending to be one or basing her existence on her capability to spite heterosexual males and females - and living her damn life is living in integrity period. Associating a lesbian’s life with political intent and political values has no integrity, is manipulative and is suspect as hell.

#Catch me NOT getting pigeonholed into any fakebian separatist activism #I'll keep doing me...you do you...but when you try that political B.S. I will say something #Do not project onto us and use political ethics to do it stop using lesbians as your coping mechanisms

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