#that fucker has so many enemies it’s not funny

[windybluebelles]

In an au where the batkids (minus Cass cause I couldn’t do that to her) are all chill with murder and only don’t because of Bruce’s no kill rule, they have 24 hours where they are allowed to murder anyone they want.

Who are they killing?

My thoughts are:

Dick is on a fucking mission to kill DeathStroke. Just doesn’t like him, many reasons.

Babs and Jason team up to kill BlackMask (Barbie gets rid of the defences, Jason actually does the shooty shooty pow pow 💥)

Cass doesn’t want to kill anyone, she’s done it before, shockingly didn’t enjoy it very much.

Steph kills the joker.

Tim, maybe Ra’s? Maybe Lex Luthor? I can’t think of anyone good.

Duke aims to get rid of most of the corrupt police force. Might help Steph kill the Joker? He has good reason to want him dead but I don’t think he’d actually be able to go through with it himself.

Damian would kill no one because he is a young child who doesn’t want to. He is healing from the cult he was raised in.

And they all team up to kill condiment king /j

I didn’t want Barbara and Jason to be th wines killing the joker, Jason could’ve done that himself if that’s what he wanted. It feels cruel to make them kill him for themselves as opposed to making someone else do it, Steph does it because Joker’s victims are three people in her team that she cares about and respects (fuck whatever they were doing with her and babs in some comics) she wants to avenge them.

Babs and Jay killing Black Mask is basically mostly just them paying back Steph. Steph kills the guy who ruined their lives, they kill the guy who ruined hers. We chill?

[monstersandmaw]

Male 'yautja' x female reader - alien 'reverse harem' - Chapter Two

Due to Patrons' enthusiasm over on Discord and your comments on the previous chapter (thank you!), here's the second chapter! As I said on Discord, this is gonna be a mix of reader POV and 'hunter'/yautja POV. I'm not giving away our friend's name in this one, but future 'hunter' chapters will have their names in. The next chapter is reader POV again, and we meet the rest of the crew.

Also there's this:

(text is a screenshot of a Discord message: Ghosti: It’s basically just an excuse for the reader to boink different aliens (sometimes more than one at once) but I’m really enjoying writing it so far.)

So yeah, this is just a fast track to 'how many aliens can the reader boink?'

Content in this chapter: young (but still adult) horny alien POV, self-deprecating attitude and self-worth issues, non-human anatomy referenced ('slick, sheath'), and his quite severely injured state continues...

Wordcount: 2690

<- previous chapter (free for anyone to read on Patreon)

Preview:

I wake slowly and painfully, blinking up at the ceiling of my ship and wondering how I came to be there, when the last thing I really remember was scrapping with the Enemy.

A series of rattling clicks rises in my throat and my mandibles twitch in indignation. Surely one of the others hasn't come to help me? It was my First Hunt, and they were honour-bound to let me make my first kill, or let me die trying! I had actually thought I was going to die when the Enemy’s tail spike punched through my gut like that. And my shoulder.

Actually, now that I think of it, I’m surprised that I’m alive enough to be surprised at all.

Fuck. Ouch.

Oh, fuck, my guts hurt.

Nothing in training ever hurt like this. It does hurt less than it did when it first happened though, and all because…

…because the human helped me.

Fuck.

Did this even count as a successful First Hunt if… No. I killed it. I ripped its damned head right off. I feel a growl rumble up from my chest and my mandibles flare. Nasty fucker. The growling makes my stomach hurt though, so I force it to stop.

Where is the human now?

Carefully, I sit up and discover that the healing gel has closed off the wounds and kick-started the healing process. My flesh beneath the hardened patches of gel feels itchy where my body is already knitting itself back together, and it’s so tender, but at least it’s healing. I’ve always hated feeling weak and small. Ever since I was a pup and I was made to feel less than worthy because of my runty size. Well fuck everyone who said I’d never make a Blooded Warrior. I’ve found my squad now and we hunt together. And now I’ve completed my First Hunt and killed an Enemy by myself. Even Stark tolerates me, though I can tell he still thought I wouldn't survive this hunt.

Well, I did it, so fuck him. Actually, if I know Stark, it’ll be the big guy getting fucked, not Stark himself. He’s the only one of us who never takes it. Whenever he fucks me, I always end up walking funny afterwards. Bastard. Gods, it always feels so good though…

Despite my injuries, my cock twitches deep in its sheath at the memory of getting pounded by Stark only a few days ago, and I groan. Now’s really not the time to think about being fucked. Alchemist is only a few years older than me, but no one else on our squad seems to have as high a sex drive as I do, damn it. The Old Man says it’s natural and healthy – desired even – in one my age, but I can’t help feeling a bit embarrassed that it takes quite so little to set me off. It’s not like I’m a randy adolescent in the communal barracks anymore. Gods, that was… inconvenient.

Fuck.

All the same, I’m halfway to slicking myself already at the mere memory of Stark’s aggressive snarls and the way his claws had actually punctured the skin at my hips while he drove his cock repeatedly into my dripping wet slit…

Fuck fuck fuck. Not now, you moron.

With another chittering sigh, I ignore the way my sheath is throbbing, and swing my legs off the bed before I leave a mess on the sheets. When my clawed paws hit the cold ceramic floor, I have a go at standing up. It takes me two goes, but I get myself upright eventually, and then I cast about for my helmet.

Read the whole thing right now on Patreon and get access to the 9k word monthly story, featuring a huge Shire centaur who tows the reader's truck for them when they break down...

[dr-spectre]

TWITTER RANT/VENT!!!

This is gonna be a rant about my personal issues with twitter and what it has done to me and my mental health. This will be a vent so if you wish to not see my ramblings then move on.

TWITTER FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE THIS STUPID WEBSITE/APP SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL I WANNA DO IS LOOK AT SOME OLD TWEETS ON AN ACCOUNT BECAUSE I REMEMBERED SOMETHING AND SAW A FUNNY CROPPED SCREENSHOT ON MY GALLEY IN MARCH! BUT I CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT BECAUSE WHEN I TRY AND SCROLL "oh no something went wrong dumbass! try reloading mother fucker!"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN TRY AGAIN!?!? I DID THAT 3 TIMES ALREADY ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!

So i go, okay fine I'll just use the mobile app version to find what I'm looking for right!? WRONG! THERE'S A HARD CODED LIMIT ON HOW MANY TWEETS YOU CAN SEE ON AN ACCOUNT ON MOBILE!!!!!!!

WHYYY?!?!?!? I THINK IT EVEN APPLIES ON DESKTOP TOO!!!

I am so angry man, this website has actually ruined my mental health and it's impacts are still felt till this day. No other social media website has caused me this much anxiety and pain. Why do i become so fixated on finding this thing? Why do i become so angry? Restless? Aggressive? Anxious.... My chest gets pain and it's just... i want it to STOP!!!!!!!!!!! I want my brain to stop reminding me of old tweets and trying to find those old tweets.... It's this painful cycle and it's giving me SO MUCH ANGER AND RESTLESSNESS! Sometimes my head friggen hurts and i groan in pain, it's like something in my brain activates and forces me to act. The only way for this restlessness to stop is either to find the thing, or just burn myself out with trying to find it to where i just give up.

I have quit twitter pretty much but i will quickly look at stuff for like a couple of minutes in some days. But not often anymore thankfully because it fucked with my brain. It has permanently done something to my mind and i just want this anxiety to stop. Social media is actually evil bro, it can seriously mess with your brain chemistry and i don't wanna put the anxiety and anger i feel onto my worse enemies. It feels like torture to me.

I think i need a hug or something. Like a LONGGGGG hug.

i can't believe I'm going this insane over TWITTER! FUCKING TWITTER! GAHHHH!!!!!! I HATE WHAT THIS WORLD HAS BECOME!

[snowwald]

I really love how like, fundamentally stupid Corrin is, don’t like quote me on this but I went to read tvtropes for corrin last night and they kept insisting oh! Corrin’s NOT stupid!! They READ and play PIANO and defeat MANY ENEMIES! Buddy please remember that Silas is the only reason Corrin didn’t get blown up on sight after waking up from almost dying in a blizzard in Nohr where they’ve gone out dressing how they do, when they’re familiar with cold weather, and almost told the chief of the village they came to suppress the rebellion of that they came to do this exact thing. Like Corrin yes is well read! They love Philosophy. They’re wretched at tactics as we learn from Leo’s supports and he is literal when he says corrin has the devil’s own luck. Corrin is depicted as fairly foolish in the 4koma too, not that the side comics are super canon, but like. Corrin IS smart when it comes to philosophy and morality and their emotional intelligence is off the shits but everything else in their brain is such hot garbage it’s a miracle they’re alive. Honestly? Corrin is not the reincarnation of Robin, this is like, chrom’s reincarnation if Chrom picked up a book because he wasn’t let outside. TVtropes saying Corrin is not stupid and then also explaining that they also need so many things explained TO them about their own country’s people is so funny to me. Like I’m putting stock in Garon purposefully not outright educating Corrin because he wanted to use them as a bomb later and this fucker just survived. I think the only reason corrin survived was because of the crumbs of education they got from their siblings & reading but mostly the tremendous amount of love and affection they were given, mikoto’s shielding from danger moment got them through round one but the ego death of dragon transformation could’ve just finished them off had their siblings Not done the work because you KNOW garon did fuck all about raising this child in the middle of nowhere.

anyway this is my corrin’s a thembo propaganda in 2024.

[galebrainrot2024]

Gale x Tav Enemies to Lovers Part VI

This part is a bit shorter than the others, critical plot ahead though, be warned. Gale POV once again.

Surprise, shorties.

Gale followed silently behind Tav, Shadowheart and Karlach as they began their trek to the Goblin Camp. The group was uncharacteristically quiet, the strain between Tav and Gale palpable and coupled with the anxiety that comes along with any battle. Even those with hearts of steel forged in the fires of courage and might experience the nervousness that creeps through the body and seeps through your bones and into the very marrow of your being. Even heroes understand that life is precious and nothing is guaranteed. 

When Tav explained their mission to them earlier, she spoke directly to Karlach and Shadowheart and tangentially to Gale. Today they were launching their final assault on the camp, leaving no stone turned or rather, no goblin alive. 

“The leaders are dead, there are only a few more on the outskirts of their camp.” Tav pulled out a crudely drawn map and pointed to a spot on it, “This is where we’re headed. There’s normally a scout stationed here,” she dragged her finger along the map, all four of their heads huddled over it. Tav looked up at the sky, the darkness of an impending storm looming above them. “We should move, while the weather’s still on our side.” 

“And what if there are more than we anticipate?” Gale asked, the question was innocuous enough - he wasn’t trying to challenge her, he liked to be prepared. He should have anticipated that she would not see it that way.  

Tav ignored his question and Shadowheart, also a pragmatic, echoed him. “Tav - Gale has a point. Regardless of whatever qualms you have with him, he’s right as much as I hate to admit it.” Shadowheart gave Gale a sly smirk, she was teasing him. “We need to have a plan if things go awry. It would be foolish not to.” 

Tav shot a dirty look at Gale and he shrugged smugly. She rose her eyebrows and pursed her lips, “We’ll be fine. They’re just goblins.” 

Fine with me, he thought, his arms crossed across his chest as he absorbed the task at hand. He heard Shadowheart’s annoyed, but compliant huff and Karlach chuckled, pumping her fists in the air. “Poor fuckers, have no idea what’s about to hit them.” 

** 

As they began their sneaky, eastern decent upon the camp, Gale’s knees creaked and he groaned. “This is no fun at all,” Gale grumbled. He hated sneaking, he hated being crouched like this. It felt ridiculous. There was an entire cliff face between them and the Goblins. Who was going to see them? 

Karlach snickered, whispering, “You alright there, Grandpa? I think they heard that crack all the way in Elturel.”

“Ha-ha,” Gale said mockingly, releasing a puff of air from his nose, “Very funny.” Tav shot Gale a withering look and he rolled his eyes, and then stuck his tongue out at her childishly as she turned around, something that sent Karlach into stitches. 

“I like sassy Gale,” Karlach whispered and Tav once again gave them a look of death, eyes like daggers into the spirit. “Alright, alright message received solider.” She held her hands up defensively and smiled at Tav, hoping to defuse the situation. 

They crept along the cliff-face, launching their assault from the side. Tav would go first, killing the scout, and the rest would follow. Simple, easy she said. Taking down the leaders had apparently been a cake walk which eased Gale’s anxiety a bit. Tav quietly and efficiently killed the scout, gesturing for the rest to move. 

They lined the crumbling wall, prepared to attack. Karlach jumped, succumbing to her rage and threw a spear wildly at one of the Goblins - nothing quite like the element of surprise - and so it began. Gale heard the blood rush through his ears as his heart thumped loudly in his chest. After so many days back at camp, he had forgotten how thrilling being in the thick of battle was. Everything becomes crisp, every sense heightened as he looked in the face of death. 

“Gale, NOW,” Tav yelled, signaling for him to launch his attacks. In one fell swoop, Gale pulled at the Weave, focusing his adrenaline into what he knew best - magic. Tav launched multiple patches of grease that Gale followed, hitting with fireballs that lit the Goblins up and sent their charred bodies writhing into the dirt. 

A low rumbling in the skies portended the weather ahead, the clouds darkening as a maelstrom brewed above them. The rain was hardly a mist at first before it deluged them with water, pouring down as if the Gods themselves sent down a tsunami. Gale’s hair clung to his face and he noticed an ogre headed straight for Tav - she hadn’t said anything about ogres - her back was turned and by the time he locked eyes with her it was too late. 

You know the feeling when you’re dreaming how everything feels ridiculously, painfully slow, that even when you try to shout your voice catches in your throat, when you try to run it feels as if you’re pushing through molasses - the world ground to a halt for Gale and he felt suspended in time, as if it happened in slow motion.

There she was, on top of the crumbling wall, the ogre barreling towards her with a spiked club in hand. “TAV!” Gale tried to yell, but the sound of the torrential rain and thunder drowned out his voice.

He watched as the club made contact. A THWAP reverberated across the camp and her body spun as if she were a rag doll. She fell from the wall, the sound of cracking bone and cartilage assaulting his ears. “NO!” Gale cried out, his movements inhumanly quick as he throttled the Goblins before him, killing them in one volatile flick of the Weave and rushed over to her, falling to his knees. “Tav, TAV,” he brushed the soaking hair from her face looking battered and bruised, her lips blue. His hair plastered to his face from the rain, heavy drops rolling into his mouth as he shielded her. 

Time stopped. His heart felt ripped from his chest as he struggled to find a pulse. “SHADOWHEART, SHE’S NOT BREATHING. COME, QUICK, PLEASE,” He shouted to her from across the encampment as he held Tav in his lap, the evident swelling of broken bones and internal bleeding consumed Tav. He was shaking violently, holding her against him. Karlach was in a frenzy to hold the rest of the Goblins back and took down the ogre as Shadowheart sprinted to them. 

Shadowheart dropped to her knees, closing her eyes and hovered her hands over Tav, casting cure wounds but it wasn’t working. “I don’t know what’s wrong,” she was frantic, trying other spells yet Tav’s wounds remained, her body deadly still. “I can’t… I can’t find a pulse, Gale. I don’t.. this is beyond my abilities…” Shadowheart’s voice was barely a murmur, drowned out by rain and thunder. 

“You must,” he hissed, still holding Tav in his arms as the rain poured in his eyes and soaked his robes, Tav’s blood mixing into the fabric. “You’re a cleric, aren’t you? What isn’t working? Why isn’t it working?” 

“I don’t know!” She snapped, throwing a potion of healing to Karlach that she chugged as she single-handedly finished the goblins who remained. 

“You can’t be…” Gale gasped, his entire body quaking with a harsh sob. “No..no.. there must be a way...” His words caught in his throat, his entire body feeling as if it might disintegrate as he wept and held her against him. 

Karlach came bounding over and placed a hand on Gale’s shoulder. “We have to go. Now. I have an idea,” She scooped Tav in her arms as if she were light as a child, her fires doused by the rain, and Gale and Shadowheart followed dashing back to camp with as much haste as their feet could manage.  

[qedmirage]

The chapter 14 release event means it's story blitzin' time so let's GO GO GO. Thoughts on story after the cut (obvious spoilers!) so first let's talk about enemies and mechanics. Because this chapter was pretty rad!

More than any enemy the cost limit mechanic is the main feature of the chapter. I liked it as a sort of gentle challenge; it keeps some of my more busted 20+ DP cost operators from jumping out in a rush, and it gives you a reason to do anything other than Bagpipe + Flagbearer starts. But it's a restriction with many many ways to work around it, so it's fun. Especially on stages with Roadside Emergency Reserves; there, you can blow up the boxes to speed up your gameplan, but they often interfere with enemy pathing, as a natural roadblock. Leave them alive and you can force enemies into long and deadly winding paths, instead. Fun mechanic, good stages.

The Spy Gang is a fun reflection of the chapter's fights against Damazti. Real amongus hours. I like that the civilians can turn into several different enemies; the Norport Spy does extra damage but is forgettable, the Sentry Spy is invisible (and kinda cute, with their scarf) to avoid ranged DPS strategies, the Armed spy is a huge pile of beef that takes up block count, making it easier for other spies to get through. Every new enemy in this chapter was unique and memorable. 'Worst Enemy' award goes to this fucker:

Mostly because their sprite is very tall and so I mess up which tile they're on. (protip: look at their shadow). Special mention to the boss enemy for having a very funny amogus mechanic. Also, a fight where I really got use out of Nearl The Radiant; your arts and phys reduction means nothing to a lady with True swordspear swings.

This one was pretty relentlessly depressing, at least whenever Glasgow was on the screen. Being a civilian under siege sucks! I like that Doctor's plan to save Norport revolves around messing with Ducal politics such that the dukes have to intervene; if mass victorian civilian slaughter is known they have to intervene.

with Damazti rolling up the Self-Salvation Corps' intelligence network, this is a chapter of some dark spy stuff happening. Golding gets the worst of it, compounding on her disillusionment from the last chapters. And in a dramatically ironic twist, her decision to embrace death and suicide ends up being one of the more lasting impacts she has on the story. Because, Damazti is there to witness it, and try to comprehend her emotions and desires at that time. And they end up following her. There's a repeated statement in Babel and some of the Arc II chapters of new life coming from barren, broken ground; of death bringing renewal, usually referred to alongside the Kazdel Royal Court.

It's artistic, but it's also something of a political statement; that Kazdel's ruling class of politicians, all well into their 200s at least are unable to lead the country in a new direction. They who made their careers during the last great war are unable to guide people to peace...including, in her own conception, Theresa. In chapter 12 that's brought somewhat forward, and down goes the oldest of the Royal Court's nobles. Damazti wasn't the most extreme by a long shot, but they compare themselves to an elderly person who cannot hear no matter how hard one yells - so ancient, so experienced, they judge everything on old experience and can't see things as new.

Amiya has an interesting time. Even after coming face to face with the Revenant's mentalism, she remains firm that she will not pursue war in the way they do. She's a new, unforseen element in their whole politics. Babel drives home how much in a world of immortal blood wizards and ancient gestalts and legendary heroes, Amiya is just...Amiya. A Cautus orphan Doctor saved one day. There remains in the end a distance between her and the people she is the (unrecognized) king of, but that distance is why she can choose a different path.

Zombie Theresa is an interesting one. There is in her speech a kind of bitter skepticism to the whole KMC affair, with a resigned fatalism...and Manfred doesn't seem to pick up on it, or if he does, he ignores it in favor of his mission. "The shadow of the airship covers all indiscriminately", an observation that this war can destroy the Sarkaz as well as their enemies. "If this ultimately is proven to be the only way", an extremely qualified statement, gets turned into "This is the only way". Okay, random stills I liked time!

Great cinematography on that transition.

Ace Combat Briefing map, you love to see it

Imagine being Kal'tsit in this chapter. You just got your shit rocked harder than the time you fought an Emperor's Blade and the first thing you see when you wake up is W. Bedside manner worse than a cockroach.

pretty hard to make this twink scary but the flames help

why DOES he keep Paprika around

Loved this call-forward to Babel (released after this)

Closure talking to Kal'tsit about real facts

[anxiously-sidequesting]

(SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR MIRAGE, EMPYREA, AND POLARIS) Okay horrid name games and completely hilarious poll aside, once again I am rising out of my trash heap to offer my perspective and opinion on another Wizard101 character that I like A LOT. Let's talk about Grandfather Spider okay. C'mere let's talk about Old Man Cob

Okay yeah I know totally different from my Forgotten OCs Posts but I've always really liked GS as a character even as a little kid. I'm really fond of those "Actually Super Evil but Still Treats Protagonist Like Their Child" tropes. And it's so funny because this is Satan. This is the magical wizardly world's equivalent to Satan and yet he straight up admits "Yeah I've basically adopted you at this point"

Also the fact that Grandfather Spider has a little (a fuck ton) more personality than your generic "wise ancient being from beyond the universe" and he's actually just petty and slimy as fuck. Like remember in Mirage where he literally revives three of our greatest enemies from the gotdamned afterlife just to say "Epic Gotcha Moment :)"

But his silliness aside, I wish the game explored Grandfather Spider's apparent """fondness""" for The Wizard more. Like don't get me wrong that fucker is evil as all hell and has manipulated The Wizard many many times to suit his own goals, but you can still see where he """cares""" for us in his own weirdass way.

Like, I totally believed him in Empyrea when he offered to make the new Chaos World in our image if we joined him. Fucked up? Yeah Absolutely! Manipulation was GS's whole entire thing and even if we actually decided to be like "okay fuck it, sure your ex wife is getting on my damn nerves anyway" and he got some Immense Glee out of seeing the Spiral's Savior and Grandmother Raven and Bartleby's most trusted scion under his beck and call, I still think that Grandfather Spider legit still viewed us as one of his kids.

Like the moment where he appeared to The Wizard in that cave in Polaris and said "man you're so tired. you'd be so much better off staying at home man trust me :)))" was so impactful, like.... he used Grandmother Raven's growing paranoia and wrath against her, in the most "I'm the better parent" way possible. Grandmother Raven hit us up on the phone just to say "if you fuck this up im mowing your ass like it's grass" and not a second later Old Man Spider calls us and goes "hahaha man isn't this all wild? lmao you do too much you deserve to rest", but he says it in like this fatherly, soothing way.

Point is, this bitch KNOWS what he's doing. Grandfather Spider uses his own feelings of kinship towards us to his own advantage, it's a mix between "I see this child as my own" and "Even so I'm gonna screw them over and hopefully they'll join my side. Weeee" and that is so funny and fucked up. The game did a good job I think portraying that and even still I wish I had more

[bazhowletts]

Full Name: Baz Howlett.

Nicknames: Baz.

Age: 39.

Pronouns and Gender: He/Him, Cis Male.

Birth place: Aurora Bay.

How long have they been in town?: His whole life / various leaves of absence but he always ends up back one way or another.

Sexuality: Bisexual.

Housing: Fisher's Cove.

Occupation:  Front Desk @ Titanium Gym.

tw crime, drugs, death // @aurorabayaesthetic

QUICK OVERVIEW:

tearaway teen yup yup yup

only child to perpetual disappointment pipeline

fell into a bad crowd with very little prompting in high school and got involved in some dodgy dealings

shit stirrer since birth

not a violent guy (unless pushed) but he got a little too big for his boots when money started rolling in and pissed off the wrong people in increasingly more creative ways

was with his best friend when he was ended up being killed over a drug dispute that got out of hand and escalated from an argument to a shooting

took off when he heard sirens

still wonders if he could have done something more that night to actually save him - kind of shut down for a long time over that and has done absolutely fuck all to process it really

hasn't told many people about that incident or his actions in the aftermath despite both being there when it occurred and being one of the coffin bearers at andrew's funeral

joyriding since before he could even drive properly (or legally), was the fastest fucker around when it came to stripping cars for parts which is why when he ended up going straight becoming a mechanic was about the only thing he could think to do that didn’t make him want to die of boredom 

broke his mothers heart tbh his dad always likes to remind him that that's what killed her (more aptly it was illness, but it do be getting in on him) 

very much uncomfortable with everything about himself and his life and i don’t think he’s felt genuine joy in years 

suffers from a terminal case of seeming out of place and disinterested 

after working as a mechanic ran its course for him he tried his hand at being a mailman

that lasted all of a year and a half before he was let go after suspicion of mail tampering and not delivering to people he has petty vendetta's against

absolutely justly let go but he'll never acknowledge that

currently working the front desk at titanium and finds amusement in telling gym bros they're looking tiny and questioning the nutritional value of protein aloud

if he cares then he cares but he’s just not the best at making that translate 

a ghoul!

PERSONALITY.

+ funny, confident, indepedent.

- abrasive, disinterested, petty.

FUN ADJACENT FACTS.

ocean crest apartment anti even though he doesn't even live there anymore, can’t stand the ruckus that’s always being caused and has several lifelong enemies in the form of long-term residents who he's beefed with

drives a shitty car, especially for someone so formerly into cars, but he's spent too much time under the hood of other people's cars to care much about that

pathological liar. no real reason for it, it just gives him a giggle

thinks grace and frankie is the greatest show ever made 

known harasser of local politicians

thinks taxes are optional

voted most likely to tell you to get off his lawn

CURRENT CONNECTIONS.

ex-husband of @kaylatullz

employee of @ecchs

friend of @clint-bennet

friend of @peterbasara

cousin of @tabithaxking

sometimes mechanic to / goblin co-kings with @marsmoran

friend of @calinxsava

went on a vday blind date with @the-nelson-quinn

SPECIFIC WANTED CONNECTIONS.

ocean crest residents -- any of the folks he's got absurd beefs with. can range from nonsense to legit, let's goooo!

ex-gf from high school -- someone who knew him before andrew's death and saw that massive shift in him after it that's carried through to this day. pre-plotting required.

people who's cars he's worked on/will take a look at cheap -- from back in the day when he was a mechanic. hasn't much of an interest these days but will do nixers if it's into the hand

ride or dies / friends -- u know u know.

past exes/flings/fwb -- lets get messy.

neighbours @ fisher's cove -- can be positive or negative vibes

just all of it 

GENERIC WANTED CONNECTIONS.

connections wise he’s pretty much an open book right now, but some baseline ideas that can be springboarded off are:

friendly.

a best friend / ride or dies / close friends / childhood friends / pseudo-siblings / friends / drunk friends / new friends / former roommate / people he met on his travels (hasn't been outside of america but anywhere within can be plotted).

romantic

flirtationship / friends with benefits / one time hook ups / tinder matches / unrequited crush (can be either way) / exes from high school / exes on good terms.

antagonistic.

enemies / former (best) friends / exes on bad terms / frenemies / rivals / negative influence / tbh he's an acquired taste so most antagonistic connects would work for him.

[heatwa-ves]

Tia do you have any fav jojo character so far? 👀 I'm curious to see your opinion

currently midway through stardust crusaders so I still haven't met that many characters but of the ones I've met I think my fav is jotaro!!! I think he's so funny and he was so good in the temperance episode. I find it hilarious that he went to commission a new school uniform jacket when his old one was destroyed. I like his yare yare daze thing he'd be friends with saiki... I also really like joseph he was so good in part 2 shoutout to bisexuals. avdol is literally my wife (I'm in denial.) I love him so much you don't even understand.. caesar was great and I miss him babygirl I want you back...

I don't really have a strong opinion on kakyoin yet (kat said they think I'll like him and im hoping I will) but I do think he's autistic shoutout to autism 💖

I like anne and lisa lisa I just wish they weren't written Like That. araki fight me

and finally I just want everyone to know I hate polnareffs guts I want that french fucker dead I don't think I've hated a character this much in so long every time he's on the screen I want to murder him. I get so happy whenever one of the enemy characters tries to kill him and then so disappointed when he beats them. I hate his stupid hair and ugly outfit and lack of eyebrows and I hate that he has silver chariot who is the coolest stand to me. silver chariot come to me im way better than that cunt. anyway. enough being a hater.

[adultswim2021]

Tasty Twosday (Tuesday)

Assy McGee #16: “Showdown in Magic City” | June 9, 2008 - 12:30AM | S02E10

Hey gang, long time no queef. I was back yesterday, and I actually sat down to watch+review this episode, but I wound up rage-quitting because the Adult Swim app wouldn’t let me rewind the episode to check on some very important detail. Oh well. 

Also, I need to really apologize again. I am being targeted by harassers who think it’s funny to take my Tuesday posts (which, I’ve established, are rare because of my work schedule) and titling them stuff about “Tasty Tuesday”. There is nothing tasty about this day, this post, or this episode. In fact, it’s repugnant. 

In this one, Assy and Sanchez investigate a Miami crime syndicate who are targeting jai alai players in Exeter. They wind up getting a little more than they bargained for when they sniff around their Miami turf. Sanchez is kidnapped, and they leave behind his mustache with his whole upper-lip attached. Gross! The ending involves a daring rescue and Sanchez’s disgusting disfigured face. 

This one has a couple of moments that are at least somewhat funny; the theme song suddenly having lyrics is great. Actually, that’s it. That’s the only thing that’s great. Damn. Sad, but true.

EPHEMERA CORNER:

The Boondocks: The Complete Second Season (June 10, 2008)

Okay I’ll do the AI thing for this, because I really struggle with talking about DVD sets I never owned. Just go look up a review, sheesh: 

The Complete Second Season of The Boondocks on DVD is a must-have for fans of the show. The season features all 13 episodes, as well as bonus features such as deleted scenes and commentaries. The episodes are just as funny and thought-provoking as the first season, and the bonus features are a great addition. Overall, this is a great DVD set for anyone who enjoys The Boondocks.

This did not mention the two originally-unaired-on-Adult-Swim episodes. Those are on there. 

MAIL BAG

So, I saw the Venture Bros. finale over the weekend. I binged the last couple seasons as a refresher, as well as watching the seasons 1-4 and season 5 recap videos. Season 5 would’ve been good to watch again, but you know. I really liked it! I watched an ILLEGAL COPY because I knew I was going to buy the blu-ray eventually. But guess what? It’s sold out at all the places that still carry new blu-rays! So I ordered it on amazon like I should have, and it says it won’t come for AN ENTIRE MONTH. What the hell? I guess it’s heartening that the blu-ray is selling so well. But damn!

do you like assy mcgee better than axe cop

I haven’t seen a TON of Axe Cop. But, yes.

are you gonna do more Tasty Tuesdays in the future? That was fucking weird.

I need to reiterate that Tasty Tuesday is being forced onto me by some malicious trolls who hate me and they hate you and they hate our freedom. I’ve recieved many threatening letters from them telling me that if I make posts on Tuesday that “it’s over for you” referring to me. This is a twisted game they are playing. I would call it “twisted Tuesdays” but I don’t wanna give these FUCKERS ideas. 

I think my ideal tasty tuesday is spaghetti, steak, and a handburger. I eat all of that before 2PM and I also have a full-fat coca-cola while on my work shift. Then I just snack all night. Nilla Wafers, pretzels, you name it. Happy Tasty Tuesday, Adult Swim 2021!

Wow, what a spread, sounds good to me. But, I refuse! I will not participate in this custom because it simply isn’t real and it’s being perpetrated by enemies. 

Are you going to do tasty tuesday again? I've seen some weird stuff on this website but this particularly is pretty bizarre imho

Okay, I’m convinced that the person whose hacking my blog and making it say “Tasty Tuesdays” on my Tuesday posts is the one writing these Mail Bags. Fuck you, pal. If you are just a fan/best friend, I’m sorry. 

what is tasty tuesday? say it! say IT!

NO!

Will we get an update for Tasty Tuesday I wonder>

>_<

[plumsaffron]

Roasting the miracusalters as much as I can! Pt. 4!

I hope y’all got your rabies shots because I can see your frothing saliva from a distance!

Brainrot? You and your content are the prime example of that on the poor new internet users. Not just the low quality content farms on YouTube or anywhere else.

Y’all feel that triggered by minor inconveniences such as school issues? I STG I didn’t hear shit like that on canonically difficult battles!

Could y’all tag properly? Or separate them from other things? There’s a thing called specific tagging for your so-called pathetic plots not just tags referring to the series as a whole!

Wait… do some y’all secretly have a vendetta against black and white people? That’s why Alya and Adrien usually get the short end of the stick in your content?? Even though Marinette is half Caucasian and half Asian??? Not trying to accuse anyone but I’m seeing a pattern with that kind of psychological projection with the hurtful racial stereotyping.

Hold up, are some of y’all rabid SJWs trying to create hetero erasures? Because I’ve been seeing less straight characters in fanworks, unless they’re being used for your pathetic bashing too. And why the fuck did you make some characters homophobic? That’s wrong and inappropriate! The show actually has some canonical LGBT characters and couples!

Speaking of TVTropes, the character bashers’ content are the equivalent to Stinkmeaner’s crew from the Boondocks (hating everyone) but way less funny even with good consistent writing. Also actually unreasonable, pathetic and delusional as fuck even when canon made significant improvements.

Double standards Double standards…:

Miracucunts when a character has hurt feelings: “*le gasp* Who hurt you?! Lemme fight them!”

Miracucunts when Adrien has hurt feelings: “Oh come on! Suck it up! You weren’t acting like this before!”

Miracutards when any non-ML character tries to be good: “Redemption Arc let’s gooooo!! I know you’ve killed someone/many people but you were forced to do it! Blame it on that fucker for turning you into a criminal!”

Miracutards when any of the most salted/hated characters try to be good: “No no, you don’t deserve to be redeemed for going behind your friends’ backs/turning against them!”

Miracubozos when a literal murderer does something: “Aww! Hope that ‘victim’ was a really bad guy!”

Miracubozos when one of their canon characters does something: “WTF?! Immature fool! Bitch ass! Bad writing!”

Miracutwits when a character is written as a Yandere even if they go too far: “But they’re also hot! They truly love their sempai more than those admirers!”

Miracutwits when their canon character is written as a Yandere who didn’t do too much: “FBI OPEN UP! They deserved to be locked up or executed ASAP! They’re sick in the head!”

Miracusalters are crabs in a bucket.

Miracrabs do love making minor inconveniences their real struggles in life. They the type to be able to defeat the final boss countlessly but they would collapse facing a common enemy in practice mode that rarely appears in the game. I’m almost curious how they survive in real life.

Maririding is a big epidemic for the miracustankdom. Seems a lot only accept when Adrien and Alya subjugate themselves completely to the supreme order or they Cat Walker into the collective populous’ or hotshots' interests. They are bored or just want to find or make up excuses to fume upon the two and hold onto it, just because they didn’t function as they wanted them to.

They’re kind of funny forsaking the two, all because they want them to do only what they think they should only in this specific way into to. If Adrien or Alya were to react different from what some watchers collectively seen or the duo had another different perspectives from them, miracumsocks still would collapse. They talk about how they want something different but they really just want same old apples permanently instead of pears and possible other fruits. They don’t want fruits at all, only this one, this way, this shape and form.

Seems as long as they do not align to their status quo of how the believe things should go, they still would be rather ugly to the two still. Surely have a strange lust for attacking characters they see as weaker or easy targets. Probably because they feel like it or because they are who they are or what they are. Just because it’s them. It’s likely they would find another character to scapegoat if either didn’t exist. It’s a twisted form of worshipping the two.

Speaking of projecting, such peeps are really lame. They have seen episodes in their face why projecting too much is bad and what it leads to. Instead, such scuds have related heavily to the projecting will or absorbed into their being and spread it all around. Appears they use it as a mask of righteousness or somethings. Believing they accomplished something. Think they found a solution but they would still end up repeating the cycle. Just as they’ve been doing for years to almost a decade.

Sucks they don’t understand what Adrien’s been through (and still unfortunately is going through). Strange scales they use against him or induce invalid equalization to bring him down.

They sure like being choosey when to be offended and when to completely brush it off as rubbish or making out to be it’s this one’s fault when it clearly shows it’s not. Disturbing points of distortion of what they’ve seen and known, inorder to fit how they wished it did (and unfortunately many followed that way as truth).

A lot of times people saying bad writing seems more like an escape term used just because they fumed over things not going the collective way and others agree upon like mindless mobs. They also use it when defending a character clearly in the wrong or be like ah I blame the writers but if it was another character, it open fire (and strangely may include if they are in the right) It’s all they can hold onto. Kind of like flaw finders that want to suddenly hate found flaw. Maybe they are badly written & wish to continue that for themselves.

But yeah Double Standards This Miracuscabhorrent Fandom Has.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Modern Family Guy?

Family Guy first aired in 1999. For the past 25 years, the show has survived two cancellations, a couple friendly jabs from The Simpsons, a not-so-friendly bashing from South Park, has been the subject of many controversies, had a few banned episodes, was the target of PTC groups, and it’s still going. Nowadays, the only thing the series is good for is the nostalgia for the classic episodes, because let’s face it, the show FUCKING SUCKS NOW!! At what point did the once beloved adult cartoon become an embarrassment to animation? Some would say starting with season 9 when the show made the jump to HD, others would say around season 7, personally I’d say around season 8, right around the time they made Brian and Quagmire mortal enemies. So, what earned this piece of shit show its fall from grace? Time to set the record straight!

1. Character Flanderization - Each character had traits that have been overly simplified while other traits have been greatly exaggerated. Take Brian for example, cause he was one of the hardest hit characters with that concept. At the start of the series, he was the intelligent voice of reason, but now he is an alcoholic, pretentious, unlikable scumbag! Peter went from lovable doofus to domestic abusive, underoos psychopath, and Lois went from caring housewife who played the piano beautifully to sexual deviant who’s obviously cheating on her husband, and not just with Bill Clinton! Meg went from typical awkward teenage girl to the show’s punching bag (more on that later), Joe was a heroic cop in spite of his handicap who’s now seen as pathetically worthless. And don’t get me started on Quagmire! While he was always perverted, he at least used to be likable. But now he’s noting more than a sex-crazed maniac. And he had the BALLS to call Brian out on his faults when he’s the BIGGEST FUCKING HYPOCRITE OF ALL TIME??!!

2. Convoluted/Recycled Episode Plots - A LOT OF EPISODES ARE THE SAME SHITTY PLOT!! No matter what season we’re on, if you get asked if you’ve seen the most recent episode of Family Guy, and you ask, “Isn’t that the one where Peter does some reckless shenanigan that leads to Brian ‘finding love,’ only for the relationship to end abruptly because of how unlikable that fucker is?,” YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!! Also there’s the problem of two things going on at once. In one episode, Stewie gets PREGNANT (more on that later), while in that episode’s B-plot, Peter and the guys are trying to make a viral video. Honestly I forgot how well that turned out cause I was already disgusted by, uh, THAT plot! WHICH WAS WHY THERE SHOULD NOT BE MORE THAN ONE FUCKING PLOT IN A FUCKING EPISODE!!!!

3. Drawn Out/Extended/Overused “Jokes” (aka Filler)- Yeah, I put that in quotation marks because a joke is supposed to be FUNNY! Not even the Joker would find the “humor” in this shitwad of a show hilarious! But I digress! You know the writers have not written enough material for an episode when they throw in something as filler just to fill up the 22-minute runtime. Like the chicken fights, while they are epic, they’re just really used as an excuse to make up for lack of material, because each fight just gets longer, and Longer, AND LONGER! And don’t expect that to end anytime soon, because Peter brings Ernie back to life solely because he didn’t want to be the only one responsible for paying for the damages their conflict has caused throughout town throughout the years! Oh and the Conway Twitty jokes! I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t really like them the first time, but that was at a time I DESPISED country music (I still hate modern country music, but thanks to New Vegas, I broadened my horizons, and my favorite music is metal). But in one scene, they decide to SHOW AN ENTIRE 3-MINUTE SONG!!! 3 MINUTES! OUT OF A 22-MINUTE EPISODE!!! Eventually, even God told Peter that Mr. Twitty himself says to cut it out and actually write a joke! And who can forget Peter falling and hurting his knee? The “SSS, AHHH” gag was funny the first time, but after being used repeatedly, it gets old fast! Also, I should mention the wasted minute of Carter smashing a park bench with a bulldozer.

4. Shocking/Grossout “Humor” - I purposefully didn’t mention this in my last point, but that moment when Peter “rescues” a beached whale with a forklift truck? Yeah he actually impales it with the truck’s forks, killing it instantly. Not only that, but he spends a minute and a half getting it off the forklift, spilling its entrails and even its fucking jaw! How about that episode where Brian GIVES STEWIE HERPES??? OR THE ONE WHERE STEWIE IMPREGNATES HIMSELF USING BRIAN’S DNA?!?! THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING!! I ALWAYS SKIP THE LATTER TWO EPISODES BECAUSE I DON’T EVER WANNA PUT MYSELF THROUGH THAT AGAIN!! How about a moment that got an episode banned from rebroadcast, when Peter wins the Boston Marathon by getting in his car and running over the other competitors? That’s NOT funny!

5. Mean-Spirited Show - Peter even admits he’s no longer attracted to Lois AND he didn’t like being around the kids, Lois encourages Meg to commit suicide, Brian became an unbearable douche after he writes a best-seller, Stewie tells Brian that he’s gonna buy a cake when he dies, Bonnie is hellbent on leaving Joe, even contemplated killing him, and the list goes on and on. That’s all I have to say…

6. Not Living Up To The Name - It’s called “Family Guy,” not “Idiotic Menace Does Whatever Moronic, Reckless Shenanigan That Pops In His Head With Zero Regard For His Family, His, Friends, Or His Whole Community At Large, And Gets Off Scott Free And Learns Nothing!” Peter Griffin, the so-called “Family Guy,” is a selfish, immature, drunk, abusive, unfaithful, apathetic, unsympathetic, unlikable, idiotic, psychopathic JACKASS!! HE PUTS HIS OWN DAUGHTER’S FACE TO HIS ASS AND FARTS IN IT!!! MORE ON THAT LATER! HE CONSTANTLY CHEATS ON HIS WIFE, HE DOESN’T REALLY CARE ABOUT CHRIS OR STEWIE, AND HE CONSTANTLY BELITTLES OR PUTS DOWN HIS OWN BEST FRIENDS, DRINKS WAY TO MUCH, AND DESTROYS THE FUCKING TOWN EVERY FEW YEARS FIGHTING ERNIE THE GIANT CHICKEN!! HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT IN PRISON?!?!

7. Meg Bashing - WHY. THE. FUCK. IS. THIS. A. THING?!?! Meg started the season off as an unpopular high school girl, you know, normal teenage bullshit, and she suddenly becomes UNIVERSALLY HATED BY EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY HER FAMILY!!! LOIS AND PETER ATTEMPT TO ABANDON HER AT A FIRE STATION AS A BABY, LOIS MAKES IT A POINT TO PUT HER DOWN EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS, PETER FARTS ON HER, AND THE LIST GOES ON!!! WHY ALL THE HATE? BECAUSE APPARENTLY SHE’S “UGLY??” SHE’S NOT EVEN THAT UNATTRACTIVE!! EVERYONE ON THE SHOW SHOULD DIE A HORRIFIC DEATH!!!

[baeddel]

Please. Please can you tell me what a baeddel is and why people (terfs?) used it in a derogatory manner on this website for a hot minute but now no one ever uses it at all

you asked for it, fucker

[2k words; philology and drama]

baeddel is an Old English word. i have no idea where it actually occurs in the Old English written corpus, but it occurs in a few placenames. its diminuitive form, baedling, is much better documented. it appears in the (untranslated) Canons of Theodore, a penitential handbook, a sort of guidebook for priests offering advice on what penances should be recommended for which sins. in a passage devoted to sexual transgressions it gives the penances suggested for a man who sleeps with a woman, a man who sleeps with another man, and then a man who sleeps with a baedling. so you have this construction of a baedling as something other than a man or a woman. and then it gives the penance for a baedling who sleeps with another baedling (a ludicrous one-year fast). then, by way of an explaination, Theodore delivers us one of the most enigmatic phrases in the Old English corpus: "for she is soft, like an adulturess."

the -ling suffix in baedling is masculine. but Theodore uses feminine pronouns and suffixes to describe baedlings. as we said, it's also used separately from male and female. but it's also used separately from their words for intersex and it never appears in this context. all of this means that you have this word that denotes a subject who is, as Christopher Monk put it, "of problematic gender." interested historians have typically interpreted it as referring to some category of homosexual male, such as Wayne R. Dines in his two-volume Encyclopedia of Homosexuality who discusses it in the context of an Old English glossary which works a bit like an Old English-Latin dictionary, giving Old English words and their Latin counterparts. the Latin words the Anglo-Saxon lexicographer chose to correspond with baedling were effeminatus and mollis, and Lang concludes that it refers to an "effeminate homosexual" (pg 60, Anglo Saxon). this same glossary gives as an Old English synonym the word waepenwifstere which literally means "woman with a penis," and which Dines gives the approximate translation (hold on tight) male wife.

R. D. Fulk, a philologist and medievalist, made a separate analysis of the term in his study on the Canons of Theodore 'Male Homoeroticism in the Old English Canons of Theodore', collected in Sex and Sexuality in Medieval England, 2004. he analysed it as a 'sexual category' (sexual as in sexuality), owing to the context of sexual transgressions in the Canons. he decides that it refers to a man who bottoms in sexual relationships with another man. i don't have the article on hand so i'm not sure what his reasoning was, but this seems obviously inadequate given what we know from the glossary described by Dines. Latin has a word for bottom, pathica, and the lexicographer did not use this in their translation, preferring words that emphasized the baedling's femininity like effeminatus, and doesn't address the sexual context at all. Dines, however, only reading this glossary, seems to decide that it refers to a type of male homosexual too hastily, considering the Canons explicitly treat them separately. both Dines and Fulk immediately reduce the baedling to a subcategory of homosexual when neither of the sources to hand actually do so themselves.

by now it should be obvious why, seven or so years ago, we interpreted it as an equivalent to trans woman. I mean come on - a woman with a penis! these days I tend to add a bit of a caution to this understanding, which is that trans woman is the translation of baedling which seems most adequate to us, just as baedling was the translation of effeminatus that seemed most adequate to our lexicographer. but the term cannot translate perfectly; its sense was derived from some minimal context; a legal context, a doctrinal context, and so forth... the way Anglo-Saxons understood sex/gender is complicated but it has been argued that they had a 'one sex model' and didn't regard men and women as biologically separate types, which is obviously quite different from the sexual model accepted today; in any case they didn't have access to the karyotype and so on. the basic categories they used to understand gender and sexuality were different from ours. in particular, Hirschfield et al. should be understood as a particularly revolutionary moment in the genealogy of transsexuality; the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft essentially invented the concept of the 'sex change', the 'transition', conceived as a biological passage from one sex to the other. even in other contexts where (forgive me) #girlslikeus changed their bodies in some way, like the castration of the priestesses of Cybele, or those belonging to the various historical societies which we believe used premarin for feminization [disputed; see this post], there is no record that they were ever considered men at any stage or had some kind of male biology that preceded their 'gender identity.' the concept of the trans woman requires the minimal context of the coercive assignment at birth and its subsequent (civil and bio-technological) rejection. i have never encountered evidence that this has ever been true in any previous society. nonetheless, these societies still had gendered relations, and essentially wherever we find these gendered relations we also find some subject which is omitted or for whom it has been necessary to note exceptions. what is of chief interest to us is not so much that there was such a subject here or there in history (and whatever propagandistic uses this fact might have), but understanding why these regularities exist.

a very parsimonious explanation is that gender is a biological reality, and there is some particular biological subject which a whole host of words have been conjured to denote. if this were the case then we would expect that, no matter what gender/sexual system we encounter in a given society, it will inevitably find some linguistic expression. if, like me, you find this idea revolting, then you should busy yourself trying to come up with an alternative explanation which is not just plausible, but more plausible. my best guesses are outside the scope of this answer...

anyway, all of this must be very interesting to the five or six people invested in the confluence of philology and gender studies. but why on earth did it become so widely used, in so many strange and unusual contexts, in the 2010s? we're very sorry, but yes, it's our fault. you see apart from all of this, there is also a little piece of information which goes along with the word baeddel, which is that it's the root of the Modern English word bad. by way of, no less, the word baedan, 'to defile'. how this defiled historical subject came to bear responsibility for everything bad to English-speakers doesn't seem to be known from linguistic evidence. however, it makes for a very pithy little remark on transmisogyny. my dear friend [REDACTED] made a playful little post making this point and, good Lord, had we only known...

it went like this. its such a funny little idea that we all start changing our urls to include the word baeddel. in those days it was common to make puns with your url (we always did halloween and christmas ones); i was baeddelaire, a play on the French poet Baudelaire. while we all still had these urls a series of events which everyone would like to forget happened, and we became Enemies of Everyone in the Whole World. because of the url thing people started to call us "the baeddels." then there was "a cult" called "the baeddels" and so forth. this cult had various infamies attatched to it and a constellation of indefensible political positions. ultimately we faced a metric fucking shit ton of harassment, including, for some of my friends, really serious and bad irl harassment that had long-term bad awful consequences relating to stable housing and physical safety and i basically never want to talk about that part of my life ever again. and i never have to, because i've come to realize that for most people, when they use the word baeddel, they don't know about that stuff. it doesn't mean that anymore.

so what does it mean? you'll see it in a few contexts. TERFs do use it, as you guessed. i am not quite sure what they really mean by it and how it differs from other TERF barbs. i think being a baeddel invovles being politically active or at least having a political consciousness, but in a way thats distinct from just any 'TRA' or trans activist. so perhaps 'militant' trans women, but perhaps also just any trans woman with any opinions at all. how this was transmitted from tumblr/west coast tranny drama to TERF vocabulary i have no idea. but you will also find - or, could have found a few years ago - i would say 'copycat' groups who didn't know us or what we believed but heard the rumours, and established their own (generously) organizations (usually facebook groups) dedicated to putting those principles into practice. they considered themselves trans lesbian separatists and did things like doxx and harass trans women who dated cafabs. if you don't know about this, yes, there really were such groups. they mostly collapsed and disappeared because they were evildoers who based their ideology on a caricature. i knew a black trans woman who was treated very badly by one of these groups, for predictable reasons. so long-time readers: if you see people talking about their bad experiences with 'baeddels', you can't necessarily relate it to the 2014 context and assume they're carrying around old baggage. there are other dreams in the nightmare.

the most common way you'll see it today, in my experience, is in this form: people will say that it was a "slur" for trans women. they might bring up that it's the root of the word bad, and they might even think that you shouldn't use the word bad because of it, or that you shouldn't use the word baeddel because it's a slur. all of this is a silly game of internet telephone and not worth addressing. except to say that it's by no means clear that baeddel, or baedling, were slurs, or even insulting at all. while Theodore doesn't provide us with a description of how we can have sex with a baedling without sinning, and it may be the case that any sexual relations with a baedling was considered sinful, sexuality-based transgressions were not taken all that seriously in those days. there was a period where homosexuality within the Church was almost sanctioned, and it wasn't until much later that homosexuality became so harshly proscribed, to the extent that it was thought to represent a threat to society, etc. and as i mentioned, there are places in England named after baedlings. there is a little parish near Kent which is called Badlesmere, Baeddel's Lake, which was recorded in the Anglo-Saxon Domesday Book (as having a lord, a handful of villagers and a few slaves; perhaps only one or two households). it's not unheard of, but i just don't know very many places called Faggot Town or some such. it's possible that baedlings had some role in Anglo-Saxon society which we are not aware of; it could even have been a prestigious one, as it was in other societies. there is just no evidence other than a couple of passing references in the literature and we'll probably never have a complete picture.

[catacombbee]

this popped up on my dash i guess for the second time cus i already liked it so time to rant about it bc i have so many thoughts that need to get out of bouncing around my skull like pong

i think maybe originally that's how it ended up for me but i am a diehard multishipper i enjoy so many different pairings so even if like idk Tyden or t. Tylyn? Ashler were either of the firsts i paired Tyler with i would've eventually ended up shipping Tylenol

but i will absolutely admit they're kinda overrated, i don't hate the ship but man i could go on for so long about Ashler and Tyden my GOD i could rant about these fuckers the enemies to lovers ENERGY they start out annoyed with each other and the annoyance gradually turns to tolerance which turns to genuine care/concern and then suddenly they realize that they're in love and they don't even know how long it's taken them to come to this conclusion

but honestly if it weren't for "Tylenol is the only-two-left ship" i feel like they'd be a rarepair? like idk. not much interaction and speculating about a dynamic that really has no canon foundation. sounds like a lot of rarepairs i know and love. but unfortunately they got the leftover treatment. and the fact that it's a gay ship and while i love gay ships there have been times people are shipped initially just to make them gay. idk how to word that better that sounds kinda weird sorry

but anyway idk i still like the idea of the ship i just like it equally as much as any other pair personally. i like Tylenol because i love a couple where one is loud and rough and the other is quiet and soft. a couple where the aggressive one is actually a hurting softy deep down and the one that looks weak is the one that has a knife to your throat. yknow?

all that to say that i think Logan would go to the counter to say he asked for no pickles for Tyler. that's just a funny image

Ngl I kind of thought people shipped Logan and Tyler together as they were the only two left

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3300 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost…

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9   Part 10   Part 11   Part 12   Part 13   Part 14   Part 15  Part 16

Part 17

Billy couldn’t stop gawking at you, wondering how it was possible you grew more beautiful each time he saw you. The red wrap dress you were wearing accentuated all your curves, and it took every bit of willpower he had not to rip it off of you and fuck you senseless right then and there. Unfortunately, he had to behave himself. Caravan was a pretty bouji place that had recently been labelled as one of the hottest restaurants in Manhattan and he had to pull a few strings to get a last-minute reservation for tonight. But seeing the smile on your face when you realized this was where you were dining had been completely worth all the hassle.

As the hostess guided the two of you to your table, he noticed a few assholes at the bar admiring you from afar. Immediately he snaked his arm around your waist to draw you in closer. You were his. If he could he’d pluck out every one of those fuckers’ eyes so they never made the mistake of looking at you again. Better yet, he’d keep you locked behind closed doors. Of course you wouldn’t agree to anything like that because you were too goddamn independent for your own good.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, taking a seat at your designated table.

Billy’s attention returned to your face as he followed suit, his gaze inhaling you in. “You look too hot. Too many assholes staring at you,” he grumbled.

The worried look on your face was replaced with a beaming smile, one that made his cock twitch.

“You’re being ridiculous” you remarked, scanning the menu.

His eyes drifted down to your chest, the swell of your soft, supple breasts just begging to be kissed and licked by him.

“Stop staring at my boobs, Billy,” you chastised even as a small smile graced your lips. “This is a proper first date. You can’t just ogle me like that. You have to behave like a gentleman.”

He quirked his eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I’ve never been that.”

“Well, try,” you ordered.

The waitress came by with the bottle of red wine you’d requested and poured some in both of your glasses. He noticed the redhead giving him a friendly smile, her green eyes lingering on him for a second too long. Fine, yeah, she may have been hot but she wasn’t you. No one was. So while he would have happily slipped her his number in the past, now the idea of being with someone who wasn’t you no longer excited him.

Once she left, he took the opportunity to move a few inches closer to you. What he really wanted was to get on his knees and bury his head between your legs, but something told him eating you out in in the crowded restaurant wouldn’t go over very well with you.

“I think she likes you.”

Hand propped on the back of your chair, he started playing with your hair. “Who?”

“Our waitress. She didn’t look at me once, her eyes were on you the entire time.”

He leaned in, ecstatic at the thought of you acting possessive. Even though you’d confessed to having feelings for him, Billy still worried you were ready to bolt at any moment. To see you jealous meant you genuinely cared and he didn’t have to worry about you leaving him. “She’s not my type. I have my eyes on someone else.”

You made a show of looking around the restaurant. “Oh, is Madani here too?”

“Funny,” he retorted, taking your hand in his.

“Your ginger’s lucky. I’m dressed way too nice or I’d take my knife and stab her with it.”

He smirked. “You’re vicious when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I just don’t like bad service.”

“Bullshit.”

“Billy, you’re hot. You know that. All the women here are checking you out. If I freaked out every time someone did that, I’d have a breakdown.”

He wanted to destroy the fucking world at the thought of someone even looking at you but apparently you were simply ambivalent about him. “So it’s that easy for you? Your brain tells you to turn off a feeling and your heart just does it?” Even to his own ears he sounded bitter. “Guess you’re not all that invested in me.”

Your eyebrow quirked up, apparently surprised by his edgy tone. “Do you want me to go nuts?”

“Just want you to give a damn.”

“You think I don’t?” you snapped. “Every time she looks at you I want to tear her hair out. Even though the rational part of me knows she’s probably just flirting with you because it’s part of her job or she’s hoping for big tips. Or maybe she really does want to fuck you. Either way, I want to punch her across the face. Happy?” You gulped down your wine.

Grinning, he squeezed your hand. “Then why not just tell me that? Why act like you don’t care?”

The agitated expression on your face was replaced with tenderness, your eyes soft. “Just because I don’t have a jealous fit doesn’t mean I don’t care. I just…” You exhaled a sigh, and he sensed this was difficult for you. “I express my emotions differently than you.”

“I noticed. You put on an act while holding everything in.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“But I want you, the real you, not the version everyone else sees.”

“It’s not that easy, Billy.”

He brought your palm to his lips. “I’d never told anyone about my mother.”

“You didn’t tell me either,” you pointed out.

“You found out anyway, and I’m so fucking glad you did. Otherwise I wouldn’t have realized I could be real with you.” He placed a tender kiss on your skin. “I don’t want to hide anything from you, Y/N.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Then tell me about William Rawlins.”

Your request gave him pause, his eyes roaming over your face. He’d taken painstaking measures to keep his partnership with Rawlins a secret yet you’d discovered it. “What do you want to know?”

“He gave you a lot of money.”

“I earned that money,” he said in a defensive tone. “He and I were partners for a while. Then he died.”

“You went to a lot of trouble to hide your connection to him.”

“You found out about it though.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m good at what I do.”

“Yeah, too good,” he muttered. He released your hand, watching you intently. “So what do you want to know?”

You leaned in closer, your voice barely above a whisper. He was momentarily distracted by the sensation of your tits pressed against him but he forced himself to concentrate.

“What happened to Rawlins, did you have anything to do with it?”

Billy took a swig of his wine. “Why do you think that?”

You quirked your eyebrow at him. “Knifed by someone in the parking lot. They never found the guy who did it.”

“He had a lot of enemies,” he pointed out.

“Okay, so maybe I was wrong.”

He studied you for several seconds, trying to decide if he should take the leap or not. “You’re not wrong.”

Realization dawned on your face as the truth set in. “Why did you do it?”

“You sure you want to know?”

“I’m asking, aren’t I?”

So he told you, about Operation Cerberus, his role in it and the money he earned, how he’d eliminated Rawlins a year ago when the prick plotted to take out Frank and his family. To this day Frank didn’t know about Billy’s partnership with Rawlins or how close he came to dying and he intended to keep it that way.

Throughout his confession his eyes were glued to your face, gauging your reactions. The part of him determined to do anything to be a success, the one who didn’t let society’s morals get in the way of his ambitions, would never be accepted by his closest friends. Despite the myriad of reasons to have kept that side of himself hidden, he didn’t want to do that with you. Because as risky as it was to be so open with you, it was also exhilarating. There was no one in this world he’d ever been this honest with and that kind of intense connection with you was addictive. He wanted you to know everything about him, all of the dark and vicious thoughts that ran through his head, the burning ambition that kept pushing him forward. He wanted you to know him inside and out and he wanted the same from you.

Before he could prod you to speak your mind the server came by with your dishes, setting your meals on the table. The redhead took her time, all the whilst your gaze was focused on the table, avoiding his. Billy’s heart started to pound in his chest, he was suddenly filled with doubt. Had he made a mistake in telling you the truth? Did he just completely fuck this up? Every second the goddamn redhead lingered at the table felt like an eternity when all he wanted was to shake you out of your stupor.

The second the server left, he moved in on you. “Are you gonna say something?”

You finally looked at him, your forehead burrowed. “We need to do a better job of hiding your history with Rawlins. I found it, that means someone else can too.”

“You gonna help me with that?”

You shook your head ‘yes’. “Yeah, I have to. You need me.”

“What I did doesn’t bother you?”

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “Of course it does, but there’s nothing I can do about it. You’ve seen me at my worst and you didn’t judge me. I won’t do that to you either. Besides, when the universe deals you a shitty hand you’ve got to find other ways to even out your odds.”

A strange feeling of warmth flooded over him, compelling him to angle forward and kiss you on the lips.

You pulled away a second later, smiling at him as you rubbed the corner of his mouth. “This lipstick isn’t kiss-proof.”

“I don’t care.” Wicked visions of you flashed through his mind. Your bold red lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him off the way he liked it. His cum spread over your tits, your neck, your lips. The taste of your sweet, delicious cunt on his tongue as he fucked you with his mouth. The heat of your tongue against his as he rammed into you over and over-

“Stop looking at me like that,” you warned.

“Then stop looking so hot,” he snarked.

You smiled, biting down on your bottom lip.

It blew his mind how sweet and shy you were when he paid you compliments, like you didn’t expect that from him. Obviously he needed to fix that, because you deserved to know how insanely beautiful you were all the time.

“Has Anvil been okay without Rawlins?” you asked, taking a bite out of your butternut squash ravioli.

Swallowing his steak, he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “It was tough for a while but we’ve been doing pretty well the last few months.”

“You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished, Billy. You took a big risk going into business for yourself and you made it work. That’s amazing. I could never do that.”

Billy’s insides radiated with happiness. Other than Curtis and Frank he never really had people who genuinely believed in him so to have you cheering him on was exalting. Especially considering you were great at what you did and he had so much respect for you.

He poured himself and you more wine before reaching for your hand again. “I think you could. You’d make a shitload of money if you freelanced.”

You shook your head ‘no’. “No way, I’m too much of a coward to take a risk like that.” You took a sip of your wine. “Plus I get to go to Paris for work.”

“Or you could go to Paris on vacation and not work.”

“Then I’d have to pay for it,” you pointed out, grinning. “When you grow up the way I did, you learn to appreciate free things.”

Your enthusiasm was infectious, he couldn’t hep but smile back. A part of him was hoping this would be the perfect opening for you to talk more about your childhood, about everything you went through, because he desperately wanted you to trust him as much as he trusted you with his secrets.

“I’ll be there for two weeks,” you continued, oblivious to his disappointment. “We’re going to scout out locations for the new branch and-”

“We?” Billy interjected.

You cast him a quick glance. “Roger’s coming with me on the trip.”

The jealousy that struck him felt like a swift kick to his gut. Images of you and that goddamn bastard traipsing around and enjoying romantic date nights in Paris assaulted his mind. Agitated, he pulled his hand from yours. “I bet that fucker can’t wait to be alone with you.”

“Billy, come on. You can’t be serious.”

“How would you feel if I took off with someone who wanted to fuck me?”

“First of all, he doesn’t want me.”

His jaw clenched with frustration as he glared at you. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s thought about fucking you.”

“Even if he does, I don’t want him.” You reached out to cup his face, your voice so soft and tender in your attempts to placate him that he momentarily forgot how upset he was. “You really think I’d jeopardize what we have for a fling with Roger? I wouldn’t do that.”

“Then don’t go. Turn him down.”

Irritation flickered over your face, he could tell you were done coddling him. “Billy, you have no right to ask me that. I’d never interfere with your work.”

Underneath all that jealousy he knew you were right. As much as he despised the idea of you going away to Paris with another guy, he couldn’t demand that you not go on work trips. If you did that to him, it would annoy the fuck out of him. Yet despite his rational side recognizing he was asking for too much, he couldn’t help but feel bitter. “That asshole’s gonna make a move on you, I know it.”

“What if he does? What do you think is gonna happen?”

Hs eyes met yours, urgently seeking some kind of validation from you. “You tell me.”

“Do you think I’m going to sleep with him?”

He flinched. “Don’t talk about fucking another guy, please. You’re gonna make me lose my appetite.”

You took his hand and placed it over your left breast, probably to distract him from all the disgusting images that were running through his brain. “I wanted you so badly and even then it took me like a month to fuck you. Trust me, I’m not going to sleep with him when I’m not even attracted to him.”

Spotting the earnestness in your eyes, the knot in his stomach finally loosened. Roger may have had a hard-on for you but Billy knew you felt nothing for the fucker. He’d noticed that even at the night of the gala. So that meant he had to trust you, there was no reason not to. “Call me every night when you’re there,” he grumbled.

“Every night? You’re probably going to start blocking my calls,” you laughed.

He booped your nose. “Every. Fucking. Night.”

You beamed. “Fine.” A wicked glint flashed in your eyes, a seductive smile on your lips as you slowly moved his hand lower, his fingers now on your nipple. “Hey, just ‘cause you’re not there with me doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

He stroked your nipple over the fabric of your dress, enjoying how the nub hardened under his touch, the way your breath hitched in your throat when he continued his ministrations. With his other hand he tucked your hair behind your ear, whispering to you. “Phone sex is alright, but nothing beats this.” His tongue curved along the shell of your ear, and you trembled against him. “Right?”

The waitress seemed to come out of nowhere this time to ask how your meals were, and you jumped back. Disappointed, he sighed.

“Food was great. Thank you,” you replied, smiling stiffly at the redhead.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“Privacy would be great,” Billy muttered.                                                            

You kicked him under the table. “Dessert menu?”

“Sure. I’ll bring it right over,” the waitress said, taking your plates away.  

“I’ll give you all the sugar you want once we get outta here,” he murmured seductively, caressing your thigh.

You giggled, rolling your eyes. “That’s a terrible line!” You took his hand and removed it from your thigh. “Billy, I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”

“Why not?”                                                      

“Because it’s our first date and I don’t put out on the first date.”

“Now that’s a terrible line,” he fired back, mimicking your earlier tone.

“Also, we already had sex this morning.”

“So? I’m greedy. I can’t get enough of you.” There was that shy smile of yours again, and he reached out to give you a sweet peck on the cheek. “You blush every time I tease you.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, it’s adorable.”

Your cheeks grew even more red. “I’m not used to it from you. A part of me still thinks you’re bullshitting me.”

Billy stiffened. “Really?”

“I know you’re not playing me,” you reassured. “It’s on me, not you. I just have a hard time accepting when good things happen.”

The waitress came by with the dessert menu. He briefly glanced at it before ordering a slice of pecan pie while you ordered a piece of chocolate cake.

As soon as the redhead left, he broached the topic with you again. “I’m not gonna hurt you, babe. You have to believe that.”

You didn’t look at him, your eyes fixed somewhere on his chest. “I do. You were so pissed off at me last night. I honestly expected you to hit me because you were so angry. But you didn’t.”

It made him sick to his stomach that you actually thought him capable of hitting you. It hadn’t even occurred to him that you would worry about that, but of course you would. With your childhood it made perfect sense, he was just a fucking idiot who hadn’t realized how much it still impacted you. “I’m never gonna lay a hand on you. I swear.” His eyes locked with yours, hoping you can sense how much he meant those words.

“I believe you.”

His voice was insistent, his gaze boring into you. “Why did you think I would?”

Your eyes wavered from his eyes to his lips for a long time, the atmosphere thick with tension. Your facial expressions ran the gamut of painful emotions, from uncertainty to fear to sheer panic.

It finally sank in that maybe the reason you were keeping the truth from him had noting to do with if you trusted him or not. Maybe you didn’t want to be assaulted by memories from the past that caused you so much pain. The last thing he wanted was for you to experience that hell again. Regretting his demanding tone, his hands caressed down the length of your arms. “You don’t have to tell me, It’s okay.”

Your eyes brimmed with aching vulnerability as you looked up at him. “I want to… I just… give me some time, okay?” You pressed your lips against his, giving him the softest, sweetest kiss. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight for so long, I don’t want to ruin it, you know?”

His heart felt full, his mind reeling with wonderment at the thought of you truly reciprocating his feelings. His arms wrapped around you as you sank into him, burying your face in his chest. His fingers stroked the back of your hair, murmuring soft, soothing words to you. Somewhere in the distance he heard the server’s voice trying to interject, but he didn’t give a damn.  He was yours and you were his and nothing was going to ruin that. Nothing.

Part 18

A/N - I realize not much happened in this chapter but I just reallly wanted to write a dialogue heavy part where they simply get to know and enjoy each other. I think they’ve earned some fluff. LOL.

As always, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Please let me know your thoughts.

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[prisonguards]

@astronomical-bagel

I am. SO terribly sorry about how long this took to reply to, my brain wanted to sit down and write an Essay for u but Ive been. SO BUSY. But seriously Ive been treasuring and hoarding this ask :) its SOOOO so so nice that other people enjoy them as much as I do and Im so happy I could help collect us a little with the tag ^--^ we are all friends now <3 EDIT ALSO TUMBLR ATE THE FUCKING ASK???? I did have screenshot of ur ask thankfully, Im soooo pissed tho idk where it went

So Im gonna go into my history with them a bit cause I kinda got into them backwards ig augshsg. Or at least different from how most ppl in the tag/posting abt them rn are. I was primarily a Traffic and Emp S1 smallidarity guy for the longest time! Funnily enough I was a late adopter of Emp S2 smallidarity (enemies to lovers usually isnt my thing) but the way the community latched onto it and got everyone talking about them really, really got me invested (also getting kin feels helped /shot. Who said that.) I think the other funny thing is that smallidarity is a dynamic where I like the platonic version (almost) equally as much as the romantic—I push for the romantic just because its easiest to collect ppl with a shiptag (although I did intend Smallidarity to be both a platonic and a romantic tag, ftr. Post both! Any! All!) and because I enjoy Complicated dynamics that are easier caught/categorized under a “romantic” lens sometimes even if they arent Necessarily that. But I just love when theyre important to eachother in general.

I actually have Such delusions abt their Traffic dynamic. Im so insane abt it. I think theyre good friends with Joel having slowly building romantic feelings for Jimmy throughout the seasons, which Jimmy is… pretty much aware of and would reciprocate—if Joel would ever ask (he never will). The Last Life dynamic in particular is one that haunts me, because it. Feels like their most amicable Traffic dynamic, at least in my memory, and in no small part of that is Joel pledging to avenge Jimmy (and Mumbo but this is a Smallidarity post isnt it). That small comment profoundly impacts my Traffic Joel characterization and Im planning to incorporate little objects of remembrance for Jimmy into my late game Joel designs. Traffic smallidarity… like many Traffic dynamics that captivate me… its about the missed opportunities, its about the lack of time, its about Tragedy… I just have such bad Last Life brainrot on the mind rn so this has been whats living with me Daily rn.

I also think their 100 Hours is one of the most funny and most OBVIOUSLY flirty dynamics, though I may get into that a bit more with another ask that I got recently, and, well. My Sorry Sir compilation covers a lot of it.

Double Life is what actually converted me but I cannot think of what the Exact moment was. I went back to my messages from when the eps were coming out and.

They immediately got me.

Theres so many good Traffic moments. One day I will make that clip compilation. I swear.

EMPIRES S1……… theyre best friends… I think it would be funny if Joel is independently dating both him and Lizzie and Then they all find out Jimmy and Lizzie are siblings and Joel is like. Oh jesus Christ my type is Even More specific than I thought. Fishkisser boy. Joel making the joke romantic montage of Jimmy before declaring hes gonna be proposing to Lizzie made me. Drop dead. This dynamic is Everything I craved out of them, watching this directly after Double Life and during Emp S2, when theyre most antagonistic, made me fully insane. I LOVE when theyre nice to eachother. So much. Best friends who kiss. Little design headcanon for them is like. Joel is Fully embellished by pearls he gets from Jimmy and Lizzie. I should give Jimmy n Lizzie azaleas to wear in exchange too auughh..

Okay finally circling back to Where We Are Now. Emp S2. These fuckers.

So Im delusional and like it best when theyre Soft right? So even though S2 lends itself So well to toxicity (and dont get me wrong. Sometimes I Gotta indulge) I rlly like making it cutesy as fuck. Joels obsession and complete infatuation and cute aggression is everything. Hes so infatuated with this guy he doesnt know what to do with himself and just is Relentless. schoolyard “hes bullying you because he likes you” type beats. Hes my moron hes my annoying king. I cannot remember if Ive talked abt my design headcanons fully but Im big on the Jimmy Was Human but Joels god powers are Changing That. I think its subconscious, hes not doing it maliciously, reality just bends to his will too much.

Also. Found my decision moments… these are from July 3rd.

I think. Overall the most enthralling thing about them is the care that underlies everything. That despite the endless teasing and bullying, Joel really genuinely care about Jimmy in a way he struggles to express sometimes. I think its really special and charming and compelling. I just have illnesses about them