#that fic lives rent free in my mind you cannot blame me

[incorrect-supercorp]

kara: this is my girlfriend lena and this is lena's girlfriend, andrea

[an indefinite period of time later]

kara: these are my girlfriends, lena and andrea

[gayferrari]

lost days of June director’s commentary pls! fic that lives in my mind rent free

lost days of June. Carlos/Charles, alpha/alpha, hate sex

“I’ve never done this.” Carlos presses his lips to Charles’s throat and licks the skin there. He doesn’t bite him again, but he could. “Never met an alpha who was enough of a whore to beg for my knot.”

omggg Jo thank you!! that fic was so breezy to write. I was feeling high on the drama of Spain 24 (which. in hindsight. was the moment that made me a full-on charlos shipper ops) and I saw the kinkmeme prompt and it just came together in like 2 days.

Title from Evening by Joseph Brodsky. We are wholly alone in the evening gloom / And my fingers are warm like the lost days of June.

I was (and still am!) so stunned at the reception this fic got. Authors I admire commented on it and I started talking to so many people because of it, and I'll always be very fond of it because of that.

More thoughts under the cut!

Prompted after Barcelona 2024. Bitchin. After a bad race, charlos have a fight in private. Somehow, this ends with Carlos fucking the annoying out of Charles.

The prompt made me RUN because I think non-traditional omegaverse dynamics work so well for so many F1 ships with the push/pull of their vibes. charlos have that in spades. I'm very a/b/o orientation agnostic (I could buy any combination of alpha/omega/beta for most of my ships) but there's something about, "they are both alphas and they fuck about it" that immediately went to my brain. It's So reflective of all the things I like about their RPF dynamic

BITCHING (omegaverse au) — the moment when an alpha bites an alpha or alpha-like beta; usually causes instinctive submission/appeasement in the one who was bitten.

I've said this yesterday but F1 was my first time writing omegaverse at all and I still struggle with it because so many of the tropes don't come naturally to me — the amount of times I reread my own fics like "they are supposed to smell each other! write more smells!!" — and somehow, that made it easier to write all the dirty talk. Is a/b/o bitching real? Does getting bitten change you fundamentally? <- none of that matters they're just talking shit and getting turned on and having nasty sex

He looks at Joris again. They’ve barely exchanged five sentences since the season started; they all started with ‘Charles says’.

When considering AUs where charlos are fucking on the down low I'm always like. Do their respective entourages know? What do they make of it? Not that Carlos cares here. Hiiii Joris. Bye Joris.

Rereading this now, I'm not sure I got the post-Spain charlos vibes right, even filtered through omegaverse smut, but I definitely got the fandom vibes right. It's one of those fics where if anyone finds it 2 years from now they'll be able to tell exactly when it was written, down to the week on the race calendar, and I think that's kinda cool.

Also rereading this: I think I nailed the vibe I was going for! My idea was, like, that moment when you're in a push-and-pull kind of vibe with someone and it can be fun and sexy, but then suddenly the friction becomes nasty (teammate says mean things about you in the press) and all the things about that person that you used to find charming become absolutely fucking unbearable. That's what Carlos's POV is like in this fic. He's reached a saturation point and now they're fucking and sucking and calling each other names.

“Well?” Charles says, impatient. He’s looking at his nails. “Say what you have to and be on your way. I am sure you have things to do. It is your home race, after all.”

You can TELL I had so much fun with their shortly-lived bitchy beef <3 Week of all time. I cannot be blamed for making it into porn where Charles gets bitten and turns into a sexed-up horny mess

or maybe he's just roleplaying at it to have an excuse to go along with something they both want while pretending he doesn't. Same for Carlos's "tell me you're into this or I bite you and who knows what'll happen next?" <- probably nothing. They're both aware of it. But they're into pretending it does :3

In better times when they're not actually angry at each other they're gonna do SO much alpha/omega roleplay. This is so important to me. Charlos dynamic where they're both alphas and play around with omegaverse designation roleplay in a very inexperienced gross raw way is THEE a/b/o fuckbuddies evolution of their whole vibe

There's a lot of dialogue in this fic that makes me go "ok maybe this was a bit too much" but HEY, I am writing tropey porn, and it was so fun to write that I stand by it wholeheartedly. Seminal lines like

“A little bitch like you, have you ever been fucked?” Charles’s face is red. Like this, out of sorts and horny out of his mind, he can’t deny what he really wants. “Yes,” he spits out. “What, did you want to be my first?”

that make me go. WOW. Marie Kondo I LOVE MESS.gif.

Anyway. Carlos after will tell himself that Charles was lying. Charles is not lying. They will have jealous sex about that too.

The ending of the fic where they're like. Oh this hate sex was so gross. We should totally do it again <3 <- that's romance. To me.

THANK YOU for making me revisit this fic, it was so much fun! Happy halloween <333

[ughgoaway]

happy (late) halloween omg ace! i am so glad to see we are all in shambles over the halloween show i swear matty chose violence (quite literally) with the patrick bateman costume like..... will instantly be imprisoned if I voiced my thoughts about those photos bye-

also the halloween blurb???????? mainly just sending this to scream ab how it literally killed me bye this is so stupid but it instantly made me so happy to read after work and oh i am weepy and weak at the idea of annie masterminding a group costume 😭 even the simplest or ur writings i absolutely adore (still not over the massive list of pre reader dad matty blurbs oh that made my DAY i tell u...)

can we just.... the idea of annie begging u to join them trick or treating,,,, and reader meeting mayhem and mayhem holding the candy bucket in his mouth while annie shows u how well she can walk the 'massive horse dog' 😭😭 and the way u just fit in their unit together so well... oh matty absolutely can feel his heart bursting at the sight gn (and also u getting mistaken for being annies mom/his wife multiple times and the way he just cannot handle how oddly right it feels.... bye!)

(bff anon hopes ur doing better ace! just know basically anything u post..... ive basically read bye need to stop lurking like an insane person 💀 xx)

HAPPY VERY LATE HALLOWEEN!!! It is my fault this is so late, I just couldn't stop talking… are we shocked tho? Jail is calling my name with some of the things I said in dms… let alone my thoughts FUCKING HELL. it was too good-

Stop I'm so glad you liked it, I just love them on Halloween so much. The fact that it made you happy after work actually just added 20 years to my life I'm so glad!!!! I made your day?!?!? Please I'm gonna vomit. You are so sweet and kind. Those ideas were all so fucking good, a google doc has been created bc I loved them so much. You are a genius truly.

Literally, this idea has been living in my mind rent-free in my mind ever since you sent it. MAYHEM HOLDING THE BUCKET YOU'RE KIDDING. Any mayhem content and I am obsessed (hence the mayhem reference in the actual fic), but this image has me sobbing.

(lots more insanity below the cut)

I am gonna alter what you said so slightly bc teacher girlie is PROFESSIONAL and she has work/life boundaries… sometimes… let's say Annie does BEG you to come trick or treating with them and you have to break it to her that you definitely cannot do that but you hope she has the best time ever. “But miss y/n I want you to meet my doggy, he's coming with us. He's gonna be scooby doo! My daddy is shaggy, and I’m Daphne. He's trying to get my uncle George to be Fred, but he wants to have a party with my auntie Charli. They are gonna be-” You have to cut in before Annie gives you a detailed list of everyone she knows costumes (but also, isn't the Scooby gang iconic for them all?!). 

You, of course, have a pumpkin out and are waiting for trick-or-treaters and have the full-size chocolate bars because you always wanted to be that house. A knock at your door happens, and you come running to it in your Wizard of Oz costume. Who is behind that door but the whole Healy family? Matty just makes a noise of shock that he later over-thinks massively, “but Ross, it was such a weird noise. I basically choke-coughed at her. No stop laughing-” Ross eventually assures Matty you didn't notice. 

You did and later tease him about it when you finally get together, “I swear I had to actually bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh, it was so ridiculous” and Matty is like “Can you blame me?? You were in that cute little dress, and you had those plaits with the bows on the end. You were asking me to choke on thin air when you dress like that, sweetheart.” And you're like… “well I think I still have that costume in my wardrobe upstairs if you'd be interested in-”. Immediately, his face lights up, “WHICH ONE? THE BIG WARDROBE OR THE SMALL ONE?” he shouts whilst dragging you up the stairs as you giggle uncontrollably.

Anyway, sorry I got distracted, HALLOWEEN! They're reasonably late in the night, and somehow Matty gatherers himself enough to talk to you, “ohmygod hi!” he says and awkwardly waves, another moment he thinks about far too often (“Why couldn't I do anything normal around you.” and you reassure him “dont worry, babe. it was cute, I swear”) 

Annie perks up and shows you mayhem who just adores you, wagging his tail and you bend down to his level and he's licking all over your face and you just can't stop laughing, matty is mortified. “Oh god y/n I’m so sorry he isn't normally this friendly, very weird actually… but please just- oh mayhem please can you stop-” and he's tugging at the lead trying not to die of embarrassment.

You insist it is fine, and Annie begs you to walk him “Just for a little bit miss y/n! Because then you can see how strong he is and then how strong I am because I walk him all by myself” This comment has you looking at Matty behind her who just shakes his head, confirming that this, in fact, is not true and just another Annie exaggeration.

You agree, grab your bag and come to walk with them for a bit, only after confirming with Matty about 30 times that it's really okay, “are you sure I do not want to intrude” you ask and Matty just dies at your kind eyes looking up at him whilst cuddling mayhem.

“Of course! I'm sure Dorothy would be good friends with the Scooby gang. Please, walk with us” and he offers his hand to pull you up. It's the first time you've really touched, and god, the spark flying thing may seem like a fairytale, but you both swear in that moment that you actually get a shock from the touch. Of course, his hand lingers a little longer than necessary as you stare at each other just vaguely holding hands. Your brain catches up, and you start moving, but god, you wish that moment could've dragged on forever, as does Matty.

As soon as you and Matty get properly talking, you end up walking with them for a longgg time. One house in particular though makes a mistake that lives on in infamy in your relationship in the future.

“oh god, that one house that thought we were together, that moment was on replay in my head for weeks after. The idea that someone else could see us together just confirmed to me I was head over heels for you, and then sadly solidified that it couldn't happen after you corrected her and I was sharply reminded you were my daughter's teacher”

Maybe it's an older woman who opens the door and jumps at mayhem originally but is soon cooing over him and giving him milk bones, “What a pretty boy” and Annie is giggling and telling the woman all about her “horse dog” (nice reference btw bff anon I love u).

Soon, she looks up and actually addresses you and Matty, “Sorry! You must be mum and dad. What a lovely little girl you've raised, and what a beautiful couple you are! Reminds me of me and my husband, constantly talking and laughing” You and matty just stand there open-mouthed like fish for a good few seconds. Annie is, of course, laughing hysterically. You both stutter out explanations, “Oh no-” “Oh I'm actually her teacher. It's a funny story so they knocked and i was like-” Of course, the woman apologised profusely, but the comment haunts you and Matty for WEEKS.

Perhaps a few more people coo at your “lovely family” and perhaps you just… stop correcting them…

Cut to Matty talking to himself (and mayhem) at 3 a.m. in the kitchen whilst making tea, “No it's totally normal people thought that. Man + woman + child + dog = family. and so what we stopped correcting them?? That's normal too… We just got sick of it. And it's also fine that it made me feel weird. It was a weird situation. Anyone would get butterflies at someone saying they're a nice couple. Right, mayhem?” and Mayhem somehow gives him a look that says “Really?” and Matty sighs and nods.

I think this might be the moment he goes “fuck.” and realises he really does like you. And he just… freaks out. Calls Ross and talks a million miles an hour.

I'M SO SORRY I LITERALLY CANT SHUT UP, WHEN WILL I STOP?!

I am doing much better and I literally cannot believe someone likes my bullshit enough to read my posts, I am genuinely obsessed with you?!?! KEEP LURKING I LOVE IT! I LOVE YOU!!!

blurb masterlist here!!

[kingofattolia]

The Good:

1. Sarcasm. There were SEVERAL good bits that I can totally hear Obi-Wan’s voice saying in my mind

“I had hoped that dying would be enough to untangle me from the Skywalker family’s Issues. And yet here I am again.” (The capitalization of Issues is literally there in the text.)

“The Jedi Order may have died out, but their dedication to posturing theatrics is alive an well in Master Yoda.” (YOU’RE ONE TO TALK, OBI-WAN)

“This isn’t the first time I’ve had to make an appearance here to facilitate a group therapy session between [Luke] and Yoda.”

“I don’t know why I am defending Anakin -- even in my own head -- especially after he killed me. Old habits.”

2. We Are All About Anakin. for a guy who insists that Anakin Skywalker ceased to be, Obi-Wan sure does let him live rent free in his head. he CANNOT even go 2 dialogue exchanges with Luke without getting 100% lost in an Anakin flashback. I respect that.

3. “...Jolting awake in the middle of the night thinking, Anakin probably doesn’t know how to swim; I have to teach him how to swim. How do you teach someone to swim?” YES. YES. I FREAKING CALLED THIS. Did I not write this EXACT FLASHBACK into LAWCA????? Take THAT, Ms. Claudia “teenage Obi-Wan didn’t know how to swim” Gray!!!!!!!!! CHECK AND MATE

4. Bail sent reports about how Leia was doing to Obi-Wan while he was on Tatooine. GOOD.

5. THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH

MMMMMMMMMMMMMPHGPMFPHG. THIS IS REEFING ON MY HEARTSTRINGS. ALL 3 OF MY FEELINGS ARE WOUNDED.

6. “It isn’t about Anakin anymore, I remind myself.” L O L. You can try to tell yourself that, but we all know the truth, Obi-Wan.

7. “...The incident with Tru Veld and the fireworks in the reflecting pond.” I need to know more about this!!! Who’s going to write the fic.

The Bad:

1. Mackenzie Lee is apparently a very vehement anti-Jedi Order partisan.

“The robes and the ceremony and the rituals and the endless rules that had been carved into me so deeply and at such a young age that I sometimes couldn’t discern what I actually believed in and what had simply been told to me over and over before I was old enough to understand what any of it meant.” 

This strongly intimates that Obi-Wan considers himself to have been almost brainwashed by the Order. Does this sound like the man who has repeatedly called the Jedi his family and struggled to remain one even after the Order was gone because it was the core of his faith and his highest ideal?

There’s an entire paragraph of Obi-Wan mentally blaming Yoda and the Council for being too hard on Anakin, giving him “obstacles no one else had to overcome,” trying “to force him into a mold he would never fit.” And saying, “You can only be pushed and pulled and reformed so much before you break.”

Like... after what Obi-Wan has been through and with his personality, doubt and second-guessing is only normal, and as he says, he’s had nearly 20 years to do this on Tatooine. But this sounds like he is literally saying that the Council sabotaged Anakin and are to blame for his choices. And the sentiment about “only being reformed so much” is a direct contradiction of Jedi beliefs, which are about CONSTANT evolution, seeking, and becoming better over time for everyone.

And this paragraph ends with the sentiment that, “Any Jedi would have fallen.”

ANY JEDI WOULD HAVE FALLEN

Can you imagine Obi-Wan saying that if treated the same way as the Council treated Anakin, ANY JEDI WOULD HAVE FALLEN? Like, how can Anakin even be blamed for his mass murders, right?? Actually, the Jedi Order totally deserves its own genocide, honestly! They practically did it to themselves!! 

Definitely something Obi-Wan Kenobi would say.

“The types of liaisons the Jedi Order had overshot on repressing.” BRO.

Then later, he blames Qui-Gon. 

Then later, he blames himself. “For every way the Council had broken Anakin down, I had stood by and let them.”

Doubt and sadness are natural. But apparently everyone in the whole world is at fault here for Anakin in the space of one day going from wanting to kill the Sith to instead joining them, and killing everyone else he ever knew and loved, except Anakin himself. Where is the Obi-Wan that told Qui-Gon’s ghost in The Life and Legend of Obi-Wan Kenobi that Anakin “made his own choices”?

This is a big yikes, Mackenzie. Like, if you want to write your anti-Jedi manifesto, that’s fine! Plenty of people have done it! 

But you CANNOT use the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi to do it. That’s just a ridiculous, absolute travesty of characterization.

2. Characterizing Obi-Wan Kenobi is a tightrope of uneasy balance and contradiction, and she falls off it on the “strait-laced, too-rigid, never-broke-a-rule” side repeatedly.

“Qui-Gon had tried to nudge me off that straight and narrow, encouraging an embrace of the spirit of the Code rather than the literal interpretation of it, but his relaxed attitude had only made me more determined to be the Good Jedi.”

“I had only had to think about touching Siri Tachi’s hand under the table at midday meal to feel as though I deserved a punishment handed down from the Council.”

MPHGPMFPHMGJPmfpgmgpjfgufmgmgh. Yes let’s totally ignore that we have it re-canonized in M&A that it was Obi-Wan’s very rebelliousness that got him assigned to Qui-Gon in a feat of reverse psychology. Let’s ignore Legacy of the Jedi and Secrets of the Jedi, where Obi-Wan yells at Qui-Gon in a garden over the whole Siri Tachi affair. 

I’m embarrassed for these quotes, honestly.

oh wow this Obi-Wan story in ESB FACPOV is a hot mess