#that don’t rlly hurt the ppl I am close to

[alittleemo]

guys what are the symptoms of Covid these days. my friend j told us all she has Covid and now I can’t tell if I already had a sore throat, manifested one, or if it’s covid :||

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - final part (7)

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: reader and spencer meet in the afternoon like they’d promised to play chess and get coffee. everything is prefect and comfortable, even as reader gets brave enough to do something she felt sorry for not doing sooner. 

a/n: gang… i don’t wanna end this one… but idk what i should do past this part😭😭😭 but if yall want more just request smth cuz im obsessed with how this turned out🤓 ALSO ty for all the love you’re given this series, ive had a blast writing this (literally destroyed my sleep schedule i made because i go back to school in like four days or some bullshit) and it’s rlly awesome being a writer that makes fun little things that ppl end up loving!!!! so big ty to all of yall who’ve been reading 

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was this too much?

i stared at myself in the mirror as i adjusted the collar of my sweater with my fingers. 

i’m just going to see my best friend, so why am i dressing like this is a date? and why am i so nervous. 

it’s a good nervous. the kind that had an entire rabble of butterflies fluttering around my stomach.

it wasn’t fancy, just a casual outfit that he’d definitely never seen me in before. i would wear this on a date though. on an occasion like this one.

i stepped away from my reflection. it was 11:30 and it wouldn’t take me longer than ten minutes to get to the coffee shop but i got my shoes on anyway. it doesn’t hurt to be early. 

i left my apartment in a giddy rush. my feet were louder on the stairs than usual due to my quick pace. 

one of my neighbors who was walking inside gave me an amused smile. “what’re you getting up to today?” she asked. 

i directed my eyes towards her. “i’m going to see a friend.” my lips were pinned in a smile. 

she grinned widely. “is it that boy who’s always coming over? the handsome tall one with brown hair?” 

“maybe.” i nodded. 

she gave me a knowing look. “oh honey, are you sure he’s just a friend?”

i tried to hide the flush over my cheeks. “i’m sure.” 

“okay.” she nodded slowly like she wasn’t convinced. “i’ll know when he’s more than that.” 

i rolled my eyes and left the building, deciding to walk instead of drive. maybe it’ll help my energy levels. 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

i was cold by the time i got to the coffee shop. the autumn air was motionless apart from when cars would drive past me on the street, and the chill bit at my face and hands, even though i had them hidden in the sleeves of my sweater. it was bearable though. 

“welcome in!” 

the cheerful voice of a barista behind the counter mingled with the bell above the door and the chatter of customers placed across the establishment. it was warm inside and it smelled like coffee, for obvious reasons. 

“hey.” a familiar voice sounded behind me. i turned around to look at spencer while he closed the shop door behind himself. 

“hi.” i smiled. 

“have you been here long?” he wondered. 

i shook my head and freed my hands from my sleeves. “no. i got here a minute or two ago…” spencer’s hand on my face had me trailing off. his fingers moved some of my hair away from my eyes.

“did you walk?” his brows were pinched together, more so as i nodded. “it’s cold out.” 

i smiled. he’s too sweet. “i’m okay. it’s not that bad.” i promised him through the tone of my voice and the look i gave him through my lashes. 

he smiled softly with a nod. “good.” 

“we still have a chess game to go play, so you better not let the temperature get to you.” my hand reached out to gently clamp around his wrist so i could pull him after me into the short line so we could get our coffees and then walk to the park. 

“can i try yours?” i asked while walking down the sidewalk, outside again. i gestured to his coffee by tapping the side of it with my index finger. our arms brushed as we walked. 

spencer hummed a ‘yes’ as he handed off his cup to me. 

i excitedly took his cup and sipped from it, cautiously because i’ve heard morgan say that it would put him in a coma if he had more than a sip of it after mixing up an order. this happened years ago but morgan still talks about it.

he was right because when the drink hit my tongue i closed my eyes, pulling a face at how sweet it was. “jesus!”

spencer’s sweet laughter swirled inside my head. he gently took his cup back. “too sweet?” 

i nodded quickly. “yeah. how do you drink that everyday?” i sipped my own coffee to try and get rid of the sugar that still lingered on my tongue. 

when we kissed he tasted like that.

he shrugged. “i don’t know, I’m just used to it i guess.”

our arms brushed again because i can’t walk in a straight line but he didn’t seem to mind. “what did you get?” he quizzed. 

i read the barista’s handwriting on the side of the cup. it was what i got whenever i went to a coffee shop but i still liked to get my answer right. “a half dark half white chocolate mocha with caramel. i got a double shot of espresso today so… we’ll see how that plays out.” my eyes trailed up to his face while we stopped at the crosswalk across from the park. he glanced down at me, eyes all content. his pupils were blown wide which made it hard to see the brown of his eyes. 

“don’t get a caffeine rush on me.” spencer told me. “i might not be able to handle you.” 

i scoffed with a squint of my eyes. “please, you’re able to handle me no matter what.” 

he agreed with me. 

while we were stepping away from the safety of the sidewalk i mindlessly grabbed spencer’s hand. it was just a habit i’ve always had. an instinct to reach out and hold onto whoever i was with while crossing the street. 

when we reached the other side i quickly released his hand. i met his eyes with my own. “sorry. force of habit.” i smiled shyly. 

spencer smiled back. “it’s okay.” 

he found an empty table to play chess at, which was the only one that wasn’t occupied. i never knew people favored playing chess in a park so much until now.

i sat down on a stone chair on one side of the board while spencer sat across from me, pulling a box of chess pieces out of his bag. i watched him slide the white colored pieces over to me. “do you just carry those around all the time?” i wondered while placing all the pieces in the correct places. 

“yeah.” he nodded. 

i smiled. “you have a marry poppins bag.” 

“i love marry poppins.” spencer hummed. 

i laughed quietly in endearment. he’s really pretty today. 

“okay,” i put my hands flush against one another and rubbed them together. “prepare to loose.” i slid one piece forward.

spencer shook his head. “in your dreams.” he moved a piece. 

i watched him and processed a few things i could do before moving. 

we went back and forth in silence for a few minutes before i looked up at him. he was looking at the board with furrowed brows. “when did you learn to play?” 

spencer moved a piece before answering. “when i was a kid. me and my mom would play a lot.” he focused on my lips for a moment before shifting to my eyes. he smiled almost timidly. 

i stole one of his pieces with my next move. it was held between my fingers beside my face. “gotcha.” i whispered. 

he took a piece of mine and mirrored me. “you were saying?”

i frowned. “you’re mean.” i moved again.

“this is all part of the game.” he laughed as we kept playing. 

i rested my head in my hand and stared at the pieces in thought. i moved another piece over the board before taking a quick sip of coffee. 

the park was nice today. there were a lot of people walking or sitting or playing chess like us. it was comfortable. i don’t know why i haven’t come here as much. 

spencer’s hair fell over his face when a light breeze blew through the park and i wanted to reach out and brush it out of his eyes. 

i don’t remember moving my arms to do so, but i leaned across the small table and did so anyway. spencer didn’t take his eyes off of mine, not while i was moving his hair with my fingertips on his skin, and not when his hand mirroring mine took the one in his hair in his own. he intertwined our fingers and i thought i was dreaming as he moved so our elbows were propping our joined hands over the board. 

he nonchalantly went back to the game, taking one of my pieces. “your move.” he squeezed my hand to snap me out of my trance the physical contact put me in. 

i nodded, pursing my lips. “right.” i felt like there was more attention on me and it made my focus dwindle. i still moved a piece that spencer took after a few moves, but he smoothed his thumb over the small extent of my hand he could touch. 

i smiled suddenly as i took a piece of his. “while i was leaving my building my neighbor asked me where i was going. when i told her i was seeing a friend she asked ‘the handsome tall one with brown hair’ and i thought that was such an accurate description of you.” i sipped more of my coffee. being outside had cooled it down significantly. 

spencer squeezed my hand that i was convinced he wasn’t ever going to let go. i met his eyes. “you think i’m…” he trailed off momentarily while he moved another piece. “tall?” he asked, that stupid but addicting smile slipped onto his lips. 

i scoffed, mouth open in an amused smile. “yes, yes i do.” i nodded with a laugh. “all 6’1 of you.” 

spencer’s eyes were so soft on mine. they were just full of adoration and endearment. i didn’t have a problem with getting lost in them. i’d get more lost just in his company every day. 

“you’re so beautiful…” his voice was so quiet i wouldn’t have caught what he’d said if i wasn’t looking at him. i read his lips in slow motion. 

“thank you.” 

we played the rest of the game in silence and secret glances. spencer won which didn’t surprise me. he told me i was good though, and that must mean i’m really good if its coming from him. 

spencer let go of my hand so that we could put the pieces away. my hand got cold immediately. i worked quickly to group the colors of pieces and slide them over to him. 

when we left the table, people immediately occupied it. i laughed slightly. 

“is there this many people here often?” i asked, my hand brushing his as we walked. 

he slowly interlaced our fingers again, being casual with it. “this isn’t the busiest it’s been.” he replied. i nodded, looking down at our joined hands. 

my feet stopped moving across the sidewalk and spencer stopped with me. “you okay?” 

i looked up at him, searching his eyes for what he must have searched mine for when he’d first kissed me. 

i wanted to kiss him. 

i can’t deny that anymore. 

so in the middle of the park in the afternoon i did just that. i stood on my toes and kissed him. my chest pressed against his and i swear i could feel his quickened heartbeat while our lips gently pressed together. 

spencer dropped my hand to cradle my face, meaning i couldn’t pull away so soon. and i was just fine with that. 

i slid my hand around his waist to his back. my palms pressed flat into him, making a soft hum pass from him to me. 

when we did pull away for breath, spencer whispered, “it’s not too early to love me.” his forehead pressed against mine. 

i smiled. “you heard me that night?”

“yeah.” he nodded subtly. “and i’ve played it over and over again in my head.” 

i smiled, tilting my head to kiss him once. “it sounds like you love me.” i ran my hands down his back. 

“i do.” he whispered. “i really do.” 

my head rested on his chest as i hugged him closer. his arms wrapped around me in an instant. “i’m sorry i made you wait for me.” i muttered. 

“i’d wait for you no matter what.” spencer replied, kissing the top of my head. 

i smiled in content, breathing in his scent that was like a muscle relaxant. everyone and everything around me and him just faded away. 

until both of us got a phone call. 

i frowned and dug into my pocket to answer the same time as spencer. 

“hello?” 

“hello my lovely, we have a case and need you here ASAP.” penelope’s cheerful voice filled my ear. i sighed and looked up at spencer as he gave me the same look. 

i nodded. “okay. we’ll start heading over.” 

“who’s ‘we’?” penelope asked. 

“me and spencer.” i replied, not really caring if she freaks out because it’s worth it for him. 

she squealed over the line. spencer had already hung up and was waiting for me. “that’s so adorable. okay, get here quick, hotch is looking at me impatiently.”

“okay. see you soon.” 

“bye!”

i shoved my phone back into my pocket. “there goes the weekend.” i took spencer’s hand as we walked to where his car was parked. 

“i’m glad we got to do this.” he told me. i smiled, running my thumb against his hand. 

“me too.” i agreed. 

spencer stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to kiss me once. i giggled with my eyes closed. “what was that for?” i wondered. 

“just to make sure this is real.” he replied. 

i stood on my toes to kiss him again. “it is.” 

he kissed me one more time, which resulted in some guy telling us to ‘get a room’ to which i started laughing, head leaned back. 

spencer started dragging me to his car with that, we were in the safety of it when he kissed me one last time. 

“the team is waiting.” i reminded him. 

his eyes went wide. “i forgot.” he chuckled softly. 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

when we made it to the roundtable room morgan whistled at us. “about time.” 

i smiled awkwardly and sat down, spencer following right beside me. “sorry. my car wouldn’t start.” i lied. 

“ah yes, so you repaid pretty boy with a kiss?” 

i whipped my head towards spencer and noticed a mark from the tinted chapstick i was wearing on his lips. i discretely used my fingers to wipe away any color that escaped my lips. “that’s not from me that’s from… a random girl on the street.” i avoided everyone’s eyes while attempting not to smile. “she thought he was handsome.” 

the whole team exchanged a series of unconvinced looks. hotch was the first to speak. “start the brief garcia.” 

with that she got started, talking about the new case full of gruesome details that i only heard half of. i was too distracted by the way spencer grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it to assure we were okay. 

the team definitely didn’t believe any of what i’d just said but it didn’t really matter. neither of us cared. 

it definitely wasn’t too early to love him. 

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hello ari i am gently bonking your head with mine hehehe this is how we exchange ideas ok..... now that i've heard abt arisugu n arigojo first meetings.... i do need to know abt arikenny's first interaction now!!!!! and and and.... is.... is arishoko also a thing.... bc i think she would absolutely love you too like holy fuck you guys would work so well i feel like!!!!!!!!!!! why'd i immediately think of a first meeting that's like a little clumsy and cute?? like smth along the lines of you just bumping into her in like a coffee shop???? and you'd apologize over the shoulder and then she's just staring at you with that little devious smile of hers???? hehehe idk i feel like this could be canon ok anyway ily don't stay up too late my love!!!! mwah<3 - @teddybeartoji

HELLO MICKEY :33 this is us rn

okay so !!! i thought a Lot abt this one….. arishoko n arikenny are definitely the ones that r the least. Clear. in my mind. bUT i love them very dearly so!!!! we’ll see if i can make this cohesive 😭

FIRST OF ALLLL arishoko :33 it’s very very much a Thing honestly i think that. realistically. out of all four options shoko is the one i’d get together w irl… she’s just very much my type n i think i could charm her w my silly ways !!!!! but yes …..

OKAY SO I THINK. that. you’re absolutely right….. it’s a lot more soft n sweet than some of the other ones 😭 THE CAFE IDEA IS SOOOO CUTE cafe dates would be our standard for sure…… BUT I FEEL LIKE. we would meet. at a Bar. i don’t drink so i’d probably just be there accompanying a friend and i’m hating every second of it bc :// there r ppl around :/// the music is kinda loud and the lighting hurts my eyes :////// i’m just suffering and trying to read my lil book while my friends are dancing in the corner and ohhhh would you look at that…… a pretty girl is sitting rlly close to me…………. and i’m trying to subtly stare at her bc i’m enamored and. i think. she catches me in the act and i get flusteredPBDKDBDJD you get the vibes. i’m normal abt her.

so she strikes up a conversation …….. for SURE teases me abt coming to a bar just to read my gay little book and order sweet non-alcoholic drinks smh (may or may not make a throwaway comment abt how she has a friend who’s just like that… i’m forever thinking abt her calling gojo a big kid in one of the light novels bc she had to find a bar that sells non-alcoholic drinks for him LMAOO)…. and i am just. a little smitten. this is 100% an ari falls first kind of scenario i can’t resist the allure of a super pretty mysterious woman !!! :((((( and then i think she recommends a bar . that’s a lot more chill. that she likes. and she kinda just coaxes me into dating her i think 😭😭 i doooo see it as a slowburn but not nearly as much as the others shoko has me wrapped around her finger 💔💔

OH ANDDDD i should mention that i thought more abt the Lore both for arishoko and arigojo and!!!! i think that i’d probably be a non-sorcerer in both…. bc i think satoshoko in particular would rlly benefit from that ?? likeee shoko just meets someone outside of the school / jujutsu society and it’s just. a kind of normalcy that she doesn’t usually have!!! one that she finds rlly precious!!!! :((( and it’s the same w gojo but even worse bc i think he Craves normalcy. shoko already has canonical ties to non-sorcerers but gojo is kinda stuck in the jujutsu world so :’3 i feel like he’d meet a rando and just. fall for them very hard. they don’t know who he is, they don’t know he’s the strongest. to them he’s just. a Guy. and i think he loves that a lot. i’m just their Just Some Guy <333333 i think they’d both be reallyyyy adamant on Not getting me involved in their world at all. gojo introduces me to the students and shoko (begrudingly) introduces me to gojo when he crashes our date (😔) but it’s like. they’re protective … yk ……

…… this is already rlly long T—T BUT THE TRAIN NEVER STOPS i need to let it run its course…….

with that being said !!!! arikenny. the Forbidden selfship. the deranged version of arisugu. where do i even begin w this man….

honestly . this one is… yeah . i imagine it as an established relationship (<- very vaguely) bc it’s hard to picture Anyone capturing kenny’s attention w/o being reallyyyyy special 😭😭 which is why i have less thoughts on the Lore and more on the dynamic itself!!! but ummmm . i can picture us meeting in a coffee shop…. there’s this old wip i have where reader spots him sitting in a corner and eventually they start talking. abt the books they’re reading. nothing much just kenny picking their brain a little and yapping just to yap….. so i could picture it being kinda like that!! maybe i capture his attention somehow? 😭 it only really makes sense if i happen to be beneficial to his plan or something…? BUUT again i’m not super interested in the lore for this one!!!! so i’ll just talk a lil abt the dynamic hehe.

i just think. kenny is a freak. i’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure him out when it comes to x reader stuff bc i think his love is very unorthodox 😭 he’s just so detached yk?? buuut i think he can be very silly and affectionate in his own way :3 i fear he’s a Mother and a Father in one. in the worst of ways…. i could only picture him being in an Actual relationship w someone he views as his equal, but i don’t know if . that could ever apply to me LMAO. so if anything i think it’s similar to moji in that….. he just. finds a puppy in the pouring rain and brings it home. bc it’s kinda silly and good company. so maybe he does see me a little like. a Pet. kind of . I DOOO WANT TO SAY HE CARES FOR ME BUT. yk… he really wasn’t built for selfshipping. he’s a weirdo!! but i think it’s love at first sight for me…. i’m weak for milfs i fear 💔💔 and i think he does develop some kind of soft spot eventually :3 we’re. roommates. roommates who play board games and sleep in each others’ lap. roommates who kiss. i’d like to kiss his brain. WHO SAID THAT…

ok that was a big big ramble but !!!!! standard arimickey interaction let’s be real. it’s funny bc arishoko is so grounded somehow and arikenny is 💀💀 the way it is. i guess it’s sort of like a god/devout believer pairing … but without. the religious aspect. i think there’s very much a power dynamic involved this bitch is ANCIENT….. anyway that’s all tysm for reading my lovely sunflower baby <33333 i hope !! you’re having a nice day!!! ilyvm!!!!

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

[mymegumi]

HAII im late but here’s my entry for the matchups thing 🥹🥹

name: logan ⭐️

preferred anime: jjk !!

preferred gender: you can roll the dice for me 🤓

fave thing abt the holidays: definitely the weather, if we’re talking abt christmas in the northern hemisphere i love when it gets cold bc im so used to living in tropical weathers n i love wearing sweaters when i go out, also im lowkey domestic as fuck so spending it w the ppl i love in my family is also nice 🥹

personality wise i come off pretty unserious 80% of the time but it’s all in jest, i truthfully struggle with expressing my raw emotions/thoughts out loud sometimes so im more of an action person (my love language is quality time which explains it pretty well, i basically am very much a “i dont know how to tell you i like being with you in a way that fully encompasses it so let me make up for that by dedicating all of my time to you”). also my aesthetics/interests and overall likes tend to lean more towards anything alt/niche and ‘nonconforming’ as i have this innate desire to be as unique as possible (yes i was an edgy not like other girls teenager and yes i regret it) but i draw inspiration from the world around me and i could never see myself without the people i hold dear to my heart :’) im also a huge nerd lol im a stem major specifically astrophysics and i like to think im pretty smart but just suck at explaining/teaching things to others so yeah. this is probably more than u even needed from me but i hope this works !! 😭

hi logan!!!! its soooo good to get to know u more and i hope u know that i am so excited to get to know ever MORE! but for this wintery match up today, i match you with:

GOJO SATORU !

listen, i think gojo lowkey loves that ur like shy w ur affection and is always teasing you abt it!! he tries to get u to say u love him n he’s always always trying to make u blush or get flustered!!! he thinks it’s such a treat when you finally, finally tell him you love him and will absolutely smother you in affection when you do! he says, yeah i’ll love you enough for the both of us, baby, don’t even worry. he also loves! loves that you’re smart and that he can talk to you about his jujutsu and even can explain the limits of it and the mechinations in a way that he can’t with ppl that don’t understand physics/calculus. he thinks it’s so nice to be able to have someone even remotely on the same level as him in terms of like,, his jujutsu!! and i think that he’d also appreciate how you were so much smarter than him in certain aspects. he also loves ur perspective on life and i can see y’all having vvv nice convos abt the world and how both of you see it!!! it’s just such a wholesome lil couple and ik that he’s ur fave but i truly think y’all would get along rlly well and have good convos. and he would be so teasing and pretend to be hurt when u say smth lowkey mean and make u give him kisses and apology!!!

RUNNER UPS: ⠀ ෆ none ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ tbh i lit cant think of anyone else that would be a ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ better match for you loge!!!

gojo laughs with his chest as you brush at your hair, eyes concentrated and brows furrowed as you try to get the melting snow out of your hair. his chest is light, full of joy and happiness at the ease of which he feels with you. “baby, why are you so grumpy? it’s just a little snow in your hair.”

“i know it’ll melt, but my hair was so cute tonight!” you grumble, hands clutching onto gojo’s as he attempts to tuck a stray piece behind your ear. “ugh, whatever. let’s just keep walking.”

“okay, princess.” he knows not to argue with you, because he’s smart and he loves you. “want to get a coffee at that cafe?”

“yes please.” you pout, tucking yourself as close to gojo as you can for warmth. putting an arm over your shoulder, he rests his head on your not-so-soggy hair. “i can pay.”

“don’t insult me like that.” he huffs, tugging on a piece of your hair gently. he loves to spoil you, and you just hate letting him have his way. too bad you were stuck with him now, though.

back to main masterlist

[pancakehouse]

heyy mads so actually i need more of your thoughts on amy/laurie and why you don’t understand people defending them…. i remember being kind of baffled by them when i read the book as a young teen so please <3 be a hater <3

hiii laura oh my god i will (gladly) be a hater it comes sooo naturally to me and we all rlly gotta be biting our tongues on here daily, don't we :-/

(pls ... if you are a passionate amy/laurie fan .. just close your eyes and keep scrolling babes i love you sooo much this post cannot hurt you i promise !!!)

OKAY. so i feel like the whole amy/laurie vs jo/laurie debate has been widely discussed (both on The Internet and in my household lol) but for me it's less that i think he should've ended up w jo and more that i think acting like a/l truly love each other and totally definitely make sense is so stupid. it's soooo stupid laura i am rolling my eyes!! can you see me!!!

and the reason i think this! is because, essentially, Alcott uses the four sisters to like ... represent the few limited life paths that were avail to non-wealthy american women in the 19th century, right?

like meg marries the man who is able (if only just) to provide her a stable home. beth pursues her music (piano? if im remembering right) and is content to live her life at home, with her family. amy wants to (and eventually does) marry a wealthy, cultured man of ~Society who can give her a life above the one she was born into.

jo is the wildcard, ofc. the one who goes off-script for the normal young woman, and ofc who alcott views as a reflection of herself. we know that alcott wanted jo to remain unmarried and was strong-armed by publishers to put her w someone, but if she knew she'd have to, then my only explanation for it to not be laurie was to spite the predictable narrative and spite the readers lol.

the guy jo does end up w is so random and just .. makes no sense. if you're making sense of it, you are having to reach so far up your ass to do so! sorry to be crass!!! (rlly leaning into my hater-moment oops)

anyway - the way this connects to amy and laurie is this:

i do not believe (and i'm sure we are not meant to believe) that meg married for love. beth (</3) did not marry ofc. and it's impossible to believe jo married for love if the author intended her to be unmarried. that storyline doesn't exist to me now.

and amy is the sister that is represented as a bit vain; a bit entitled and spoiled in the way youngest children are allowed to be. from the start, it's clear she plans to marry for wealth. even if we're taking from gerwig's adaptation instead of solely the book, then amy still isn't really represented as particularly romantic (the whole 'i'm not a poet' scene) (also tbf it's been awhile since i read the book, but imo she romanticizes her life, yes, but not love itself).

LAURIE is the romantic, the most so, out of all the characters. i genuinely feel like this is the ONLY reason ppl latch onto amy/laurie and try so hard to rationalize it .. bc they can't bear to think of laurie in a marriage that was w his next-best-option rather than True Love (sorry.. by no means a dig at amy...but cmon guys ..)

because i also feel like the only thing laurie really wanted even more than to spend his life w jo, is to be apart of the march family. it was always clear he wanted that, just as it was always clear he loved jo from day 1! and so the only conclusion i was ever able to come from all this is that he loved jo for being jo and he loved amy for being a march sister.

ah god sorry this is SO anysmally long i am SO SO sorry laura dear!! so grateful to you for this opportunity to hate on them (read: cringe & take the romance out of) them as a couple!!! but there is simply no scenario where i can imagine knowing a boy has loved my sister his entire life and then MARRY him after ?? bc she rejected him ??!!! esp knowing amy and jo's history of shared drama. esp bc the entire story is one of sisterhood!

like bro that girl (amy) has mentally been your sister-in-law for a decade ... and now we're saying we LOVE her? puke vom i hate it it makes me cringe and twitchy and yuck. its so weird ppl !!!! so weird.

[jihyoruri]

never thought I'd see the day Id do a wowyn analysis... Keep in mind its been a second since I reread all the wowyn works😭

Id like to preface this by saying I do not have a very good grasp on wowyn as a character- I am not entirely sure how you guys view her but I've said this before.. I think wowyn is truly a very sad person. maybe she's not sad emotionally but the way she views things and acts at certain points makes me... I don't know. she does some shit that annoys me 😭I don't view her as a baby or something like that.. she's clearly the "cool" one in the group lmao😭

I'll be focusing on wonyn, and chaeyn for this..

wowyn clearly is uncomfortable with being "known" per se. When she starts to really like someone, she immediately distances herself. I can't tell if it's because she's afraid of getting hurt, or just because her issues with her dad gave her an avoidant attachment style..

I'm not completely sure what happened with her father, and why she's like this now..

wowyn is nonchalant with chaewon. From what we've read, chaewon has started to like(?) wowyn, and finds her cool. I don't think wowyn has started to like chaewon yet, and if she has.. damn😭

I can't tell if wowyn Is avoidant of vulnerability at all, because it seems she keeps up this cool and unaffected front so she doesn't show emotions she doesnt want other people seeing. Shes clearly scared/uncomfortable to love someone(?) because, as you said, she realized she liked minjeong so she broke up with her.

wonyn.. It brings me a sort of satisfaction to know that wowyn will end up with chaewon and not wonyoung. the idea that someone will always come back to you, and that they'll always want you, so you just expect them to ?? chase after you?? rubs me the wrong way. I hope that wowyn will at one point get over wonyoung and actually like chaewon more (even though it seems impossible) cause its CRAZY wonyoung thinks chaewon is delusional (it's not crazy she lowk is)

If she DOESNT get over wonyoung... I feel bad for chaewon. knowing that you'll always be second place SUCKS.

I don't know what made wowyn so attached to wonyoung in the first place, but I'll guess they met when they were a bit younger because the wowyn now seems like she doesn't let people in like that anymore..

In conclusion I do not understand wowyn at all. I know she has an avoidant attachment style and clear vulnerability issues from something with her dad... but fundamentally I find her sad. I can't tell if she wants to be understood and wants people to know her, but she's scared, or she doesn't at all because she's scared, or she doesn't care and I'm reading it wrong?? wowyn seems like the person that never lets people too close, always with a suitcase in hand (metaphorically) ready to leave when she realizes "this person knows me". I mean in that one ask "aeri knows too much about wowyn to date her" or something along those lines.. does she not want to be known, or does she secretly want it?? I don't know.

I'm glad she'll be with chaewon in the end, but I hope she gets a therapist because if I was chaewon's friend I'd be like.. don't go for someone so painfully emotionally unavailable 😭

(this might be all wrong, I literally don't understand wowyn she has such an insane mindset to me. im ace so ig I've just never had a crush that has me always coming back to them like this?? I don't know man wowyn is confusing to me. the way people act like her stans here scares me cuz what if I get jumped but... wowyn isn't a monolith.. she's cool on stage but her mental state is definitely... a whole trip.. pathetic isn't the right word but I've said sad so many times.. like her mindset and actions just make me frown I kind of pity her???)

-🎏

it kinda makes me smile when you say that she don’t understand wow!yn cause that means that I did what I wanted to do with her she’s rlly complex like I want people to have a hard time understanding her, like every time ppl try to analyze her they’re completely wrong and it makes me giggle LMAOOOO

you always seem to go back to wow!yn chasing and always going back to wonyoung 😭 and I feel like I’ve said this before but wow!yn doesn’t have some crazy crush on wonyoung she USED to but she doesn’t it’s just wony is that person always in the back of her mind who she find comfort in because she’s someone who yn is so close with it’s not a situation where it’s like omg I love you so much I can’t get over yo, it was never that yn knows her and wony aren’t going to work out I’ve said that before like that’s something that’s something that yn isn’t even waiting for. Honestly I want to know what actions of hers annoy you because from what I’ve written wow!yn is just so chill and nonchalant like you guys she haven’t seen her make any decisions yet besides breaking up with winter.

[colonel-insomniac]

I maintain my opinion that in the sentibubbler episode, chat was not being childish. This is a child that has been neglected almost all his life, and has literally no knowledge as to how to work out his frustrations.

Second, being from a home somewhat like that, I know that it is hard to not let yourself just get angry over something that might seem small. But to him, it isn’t small. He’s spent his whole life out of the loop and in the past year (mlb time ofc) hes finally been able to get out and have a chance at being in said loop. The promis of freedom to those who don’t have it will always be enticing. It will always be something that’s craved. And so when he becomes chat noir he prob thinks this is the thing that’s gonna fix him.

And maybe it does help. But then he realizes he’s being kept out of so much (I.e siren). He doesn’t know what’s happening and it’s like being thrown out of what he’s worked so hard to build, that in his eyes he’s ready to give up bc hes not thinking rationally. He’s thinking that no ones ever gonna tell him anything and that he’s always gonna be out of the loop so why bother with secret identities and alter egos?

Then lb talks to him and convinces fu to talk to chat, and thankfully Fu listens. And so Adrien moves on.

And then, season 4. Adrien realizes he can’t have a relationship w kagami bc he can’t give her what she needs. And obvs he’s not happy w that, but when gang of secrets comes out, he realizes that lb isn’t happy either. So he pushes his own issues aside to help her with hers. Maybe he thinks they’ll revisit his issues, maybe not. But lb lying that she’s ok?? He’s starting to suspect that maybe he’s being kept out again.

And sure enough as the season progresses, we see him literally being sidelined, either unable to make it to the battle for some reason, or being trapped somewhere or to something.

So in sentibubbler when he realizes he is being kept out of the know, he gets frustrated. And takes us out on a chimney, saying that the miraculous ladybug will fix everything. He’s not in a good state of mind mentally, and he doesn’t know how to a) communicate that and b) take it out in a healthy way (I.e art, music, writing). He feels trapped.

So no, he is not being childish. I vehemently oppose this statement in light of the most recent episode bc he really is not being childish. (Yes, maybe it seems like it’s over smth childish but think abt his life as a whole, and think abt the psychology behind his at-home/public/social life)

Also my boy adrien literally wanted to cataclysm himself bc he heard nino being upset that he couldn’t help adrien?? My guy is not ok mentally rn and calling him childish is the wrong thing to do. He’s literally only doing what he thinks will have zero long term damage and not harm anyone bc the “miraculous ladybug” will fix it

[crowhyun]

actually y’all i need to rant and i’m going to sound like a pathetic loser but i’ll wait until shame comes in so i can delete this later but rn it’s night time and it’s the right time

so like, idk abt yall, but during the late hours of the night, my emotions are heightened unlike during the day. Like if I’m happy, i’m all smiley and giggly and i’m never like that during the day. I’m a night person yeah. But i get sad easier at night. And tonight i am sad boohoo

what am i sad about? IM LONELY AS FUCK 😭

the thing is, i’ve been single my whole life. i’ve been told and convinced that i wasn’t beautiful or worthy of love, and no one has ever shown interest in me. Boys would bully me the most over my looks. And i’m not going to lie and say “but i was beautiful all along” bcs i wasnt. I was a lol scrawny nerd who wore glasses and the same hoodie everyday. I didn’t care abt my looks at all, but it’s a bit diff bcs i’ve grown up in places where there weren’t ppl like me. So in either predominantly white or asian schools. I was never beautiful to them.

but it’s not just that. I’m convinced there is something wrong with me, bcs when I see my sister, I see everything that i want to be. She’s feminine, pretty, confident, strong etc etc. Ever since she was little, she’s had everyone all over her and people would always compliment her and overlook me.

i remember when my grandpa straight up called me ugly and then said that my sisters were like “pretty princess” to my face. I’ve always hated him. This might sound morbid, but i’m glad he’s dead. He was never a good person anyways.

my sister used to make fun of me for my looks as well bcs i was never as pretty as her. Everyday, I nitpick at every little thing because of her. My shoulders are too wide, i’m not feminine enough, my skin is too dark, i look like a child etc etc etc like WHYYYYY can’t i stop????? ARGHHH

and WHY does it seem like everyone has had love in their lives but me???? no one has ever been interested in me, and i feel like i’m going to be alone forever. I keep trying to convince myself that someone would come along one day, but i continue to lose hope. I’m so scared to get close to people, and im not good at making conversation, i can’t even make friends, how do i expect to one day get married?

i have a skin condition that makes my skin rough and bumpy, and people have always commented about it, and i don’t even want people to get physically close to me bcs of it. i hate when people touch me, and im always so hyper aware of someone’s proximity.

like what happened to the little girl that loved hugs and holding hands? i hate that i’ve changed. i used to be so extroverted and happy and social, but i’ve gotten shut down and hurt so many times and now im a fkn recluse like ew i hate myself

sometimes i get the urge to drink myself drunk so i would stop thinking and so that i’d be free from shame and embarrassment and anxiety, but i don’t do that bcs 1. alcohol tastes disgusting and 2. i feel like if i give in, i’d develop an addiction.

i feel so sorry for all of the friends that i do have and for the future boyfriend that i may or may not have. i’m so insecure that it ruins everything. I think that no one rlly likes me and they’ll all leave me one day just like my friends have done in the past, just bcs i wasn’t pretty enough or cool enough.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

not 2 exaggerate or anything but youre my absolute fav writer on tumblr 💥💥💥💥💥 im a big fan of domestic/comfort/simple, warm moments type of genre in fics and your works just rlly scratch that specific itch in my brain. whatever fics u post im like yo.... this is everything im looking for in a fic..... wheres the source from..... r u sucking them out from my brain be honest have u dug a hole already and using me for popularity 🤨🤨🤨 (/J)

might be bc im on my period or wtv but i was gg thru your masterlist ytday night before gg to sleep and i cried while reading "i've alw loved the way you eat," "i dream now of a normal life with you," and "ask me to leave and i'll stay forever." like jfc theres such a specific type of intimacy and soft moments you convey through your words SO WELL i physically feel my heart melting reading them. like UGH esp in "i dream now of a normal life with you" where suguru is just so soft and sappy over reader im just like UGHHHH I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME LIKE THAT AND FOR ME TO RETURN BACK THE SAME LOVE, IF NOT MORE TOO!!!!!!!!!

u get it, u rlly do - honestly u have the best fanon hcs and characterization of suguru i love that man sm so to see him so accurately represented rlly makes me so happy tq for understanding him....... sometimes i see a mischaracterization so bad in a fic i just have to close the app and touch grass LMFAOOOO but u get it.... u rlly do.... never once posted a wrong hc about suguru.... op ur brain <333 u make me so happy i love u sm thanku for creating such beautiful fics i alw come back to reread a bunch of ur stuff, they never get old, it's literally everything im looking for. idc how "boring" hurt/comfort fics r, like even if there's no drama, sometimes simple is best and u do it so, so well thanku op i lov u muacks ❤️

anon ……….

you are . the sweetest in the whole wide world. in the universe. u genuinely don’t UNDERSTAND how big my smile was when i saw this…. melted into a tiny little puddle on the floor

I LOVE YOU….. 🥺🥺🥺 i love you forever and ever and i’m so thankful for your support!!!!! i don’t even know where to begin i’m so overwhelmed pbdkdbdj (AFFECTIONATELY)…. YOU CALLING ME YOUR FAV WRITER? IS SO INSANE??? AND SUCH AN HONOUR????? i cried a bit ngl i’m just. very very thankful T_T but anon.. you can’t expose me like that </3 how am i supposed to get my daily dose of clout if you go around telling ppl abt the ideas i steal directly from your brain???? smh /j ily <3

I’M. just. so unbelievably happy that my writing can mean something to you 😭 and make you feel something!!!! when i hear that ppl cried reading one of my fics i always get so . emotional. it just means so much!! i don’t want you to cry but i’ll accept your tears happily :’3 i hope they were sappy tears and not Sad Tears…..

ON THAT NOTE. THE SAPPINESS. THE SOFTNESS. YES. i’m so happy you could feel it bc most of my fics rlly are just intimacy and nothing else and!! i rlly like writing them that way….. m just happy you enjoyed reading them too :’’’3 i dream, now, of a normal life with you is very near n dear to my heart so!!!! i’m overjoyed that you liked that one in particular 🥺🥺🥺 it just makes me feel so happy and appreciated and . i want to explode a bit. soft sappy sugu is best sugu!! i’m sure you’ll find a love like that some day anon <33 we all deserve it!!

ON THE TOPIC OF SUGU. there truly sincerely is nothing i love hearing more than anons who tell me i do sugu justice. IT MEANS SM TO ME…. he’s so complex and multifaceted and knowing that my own take on him can resonate w anyone makes me soooooo happy…. 🥺🥺 and you saying i have the best characterization of him????? just makes my soul want to ascend. sniffle. thank you!! he’s our golden boy and i love him very much…. honestly i’m way more picky abt gojo than sugu when it comes to mischaracterization but i understand you completely anon…. sometimes i see a take that my brain won’t even let me conceptualize bc i disagree with it so much and then i just have to close my eyes and reboot </3

op ur brain <333 u make me so happy i love u sm thanku for creating such beautiful fics i alw come back to reread a bunch of ur stuff, they never get old, it's literally everything im looking for. idc how "boring" hurt/comfort fics r, like even if there's no drama, sometimes simple is best and u do it so, so well thanku op i lov u muacks ❤️

sorry had to copy paste this bc it made me want to CRY. you make ME so happy hello???? you have no idea the pure amount of endorphins this ask gave to me 😭😭😭 I’M HAPPY I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY…. you have my whole heart and soul anon atp let’s just get married i think . my heart is yours to keep!!! i can’t tell you how mushy i get knowing there are people out there who read my fics not once but multiple times….. yeah. i’m just. very grateful for you anon <3333 thank you so much for your support and for sending me this lovely ask. i’m gonna be reading it forever n ever !! :((((

[sweetmotherof]

Haikyuu Fics: The Classics™️ (pt 2)

PART 1

I already thought of more, and I didn’t want my first part to be super long, so here is a part 2!! I’ll probably make another couple of parts because I know I missed some. So again, please comment if you have any recommendations for me to add, it’s highly appreciated. Also, just some housekeeping, please mind the tags and go give the authors some love and support!! I hope you guys enjoy!! (My summaries are super bad for this one so just look at the summaries for the work or ask ahah id be happy to elaborate)

*contains nsfw fics, so please read the tags*

⭑=my faves

TSUKKIYAMA

~quick deanpendragon spam (they are the mastermind of tsukkiyama fics read all of their stuff pls)~

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon

M, 74.4k words

This is the classiccccc slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn through high school fic. With an amazing plot, beautiful writing, and stunning characterization, if you like Tsukkiyama at all, you should literally just read it. It’s just....perfect.

the certain things we lack by deanpendragon⭑

M, 89.6k words

AHHHHHHHH STOP DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS. no no no it’s so good like should be published good. It’s Kei-centric, and him and Yamaguchi are so <333 ugh i can’t stop. High school au, canon compliant, getting together yeah yeah yeah but the writing is.....i’m speechless it’s so good. Something about it connected with my soul and the writing, i can’t stop the writing is so good. If you like to read, like you just appreciate the art of literature, read this read this read this. 

blue summer sky by deanpendragon⭑

T, 32k words

Deanpendragon, take all of my money. You deserve it after this one because, oh, oh MY GOD it’s so good. Yamaguchi working in a pet store. Tsukishima working in a music store. Right next to each other. STOP READ IT NOW YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. It’s Yamaguchi’s POV and his like stream of thoughts is SO relatable oh my god. It’s too good. This is hands down one of my fave fics so,,,,, u should read it. Also, it’s a series so, thank you for that one.

~~~~

Stoplights by 5yenwish(iamacamera)

E, 48.6k words

Something about Tsukkiyama authors, I would literally ask the president to get you ppl published because JESUS we do not deserve these works for free. I mean, this is just Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Karasuno being VULGAR and hilarious, and it’s like,,,,you have to have a certain type of humor to enjoy this. If you don’t like sex jokes AVOID this fic, but I loved this SO MUCH. The writing, ughhhhhh the writing is horrifyingly good. I kinda just really want to pay this author money because you made my life smmm better. On Hiatus tho,, probs forever so <//3 STILL READ IT

MATSUHANA

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia⭑

E, 91.5k words, cw: EMOTIONAL ABUSE, mental health issues that come with that

SAD BOY HOURS ughhh. This fic is so angsty and hurt so bad to read,,,,,,but so,,,,goood. Of course it’s depressing, it’s Hanamaki, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi watching Matsukawa be in an emotionally abusive relationship, all the while Hanamaki is in love with him,,,, eyeroll it’s very hard to watch. But, the writing is amazing, the plot is painful but good, so if you’re considering, you definitely should read.

rated m for by orphan_account

T, 10.6k words

Voice acting au. The most beautiful voice acting au ever. I love Matsukawa and I love Hanamaki, and you should definitely read this because it’s so funny. The writing is so good, the plot is so funny, and I love to laugh my ass off and this fic is funny lol. They act in a BL even though they hate each other. PLS READ IT AHAHHAH.

plus one by orphan_account

G, 6.1k words

This is the cutest lil getting together fic that so adorably fluffy it hurts. If you want to come down from, oh let’s say boiled frogs ahahhaha plug (look above lol), this fic will literally rot your insides with how cute it is. It’s quick, easy, and a fun time at a wedding, so if you just want some matsuhana for bedtime or something like that (?? what am i saying lol) then I definitely recomeend this one.

DAISUGA

Open Tab by Mooifyourecows⭑

E, 541.5k words, cw: anxiety, breakdowns (not that bad, but some parts made me feel a bit on edge so I thought I’d let u all know)

The longest fic I’ve read, and worth every second. I BINGED this mf, like in a couple of days lol and it’s so good. Artist Suga, bartender Daichi, gay panic and basically all of the other main haikyuu characters lol,,,,, read it if that sounds interesting. I think this is probably the staple Haikyuu longfic, so you should definitely check it out at one point or another. Also, it’s SO funny and the writing is rlly good. Oh, and it’s a SLOW BURNNN.

bell, book, and candle by skittidyne

M, 762.9k words, cw: blood, swearing, violence, minor body horror, death, anxiety/anxiety attacks/panic attack (part of the author’s warning)

I’ve seen so many people recommend this one, so I thought I’d include it in this recommendation, even though it’s focused around a lot of the ships, not just daisuga. It’s a supernatural hunter fic, and even just the summary is super captivating and interesting. If you like fantasy, mythology, or anything of the demons and magic sort, you should definitely check this one out. There is also some ~~magical~~ romance.

Cardboard Castles by valiantarmor

M, 18k words, cw: homophobia, mental strain that comes with homelessness

For the sake of your guys’ brains, I included this shorter fic that you could definitely complete in a short amount of time. Basically, this is about coffee barista Daichi, and how he meets Suga, who is secretly homeless. And romance blooms, of course. I definitely recommend this one if you want a short, kind of angsty, but happy ending read.

KYOUHABA

Police Dog by surveycorpsjean⭑

E, 34.9k words

This fic is so so sooo good. I usually stray away from like shifter, werewolf type fics, but this one handles the trope so so so well. I love the kyouhaba dynamic and this fic exemplifies it without making it too cliche. The premise of the fic is Kyoutani is a dog shifter and Yahaba is a police officer. I really had a great time reading this and I definitely think that you should check it out ahhah.

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

T, 61.1k words, cw: HOMOPHOBIA LIKE BAD (not violent but very internalized and prevalent) 

Yahaba and his self-acceptance journey,,,,ughhhh im crying. This fic is vvvery emotional and filled with angsty self-hatred that makes me :(((. but BUT its worth it because watching him grow :’) and find love in Kyoutani. it’s very warm and happy at the end. If you want a CLASSIC coming of age set in high school and very gay so <33 pls check it out. The plot and writing are really well done and it is a work of art srsly.

[dontxxaskxxxmeh154]

:(: You Choose

When ppl think of Summer, they think of pool parties, late nights, vacations, flip-flops, beaches, parties, flamingos, beer and no school. I see the same things with the simple feel of the word ‘Summer’. However, as an introvert, summer to me isn’t just that. It’s freedom. Not freedom from school; I highly enjoy school. I like to learn and discover new things. I’m saying, freedom from the people at school. I’ve already had three of my first panic attacks, At and before school. I don’t want to sound like a whiny, self centered, diary bitch, because I’m not. I actually hate writing about myself. But; my counselor told me that it can help to write about my anger, whether than contain it. So, here I am, writing the hell away. My mom gets upset at me for not inviting friends over now that it’s summer vacation. I, however, quite enjoy the peace. I say that because I’m always in a battle, spiritually, At or away from school. I’m a huge over-thinker, and apparently, since I’ve gotten older, overthinking results in panic attacks. I don’t why I hate ppl at school, why I overthink, why my grades suck ass when I’ve been rlly trying to keep them up all yr. I don’t even know why, at times, I give in and let Satan take over me. I know at this age, everything seems hard. I just feel like, my main question right now is ‘Why?’. Why everything? I’m even wondering myself, why the hell aren’t you explaining this to anyone? My answer though, is because I don’t want someone to paint my own life for me. Like school and the people in it. I ask myself, why can’t I fit in? Why can’t I have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and when I’m close to getting one, why I turn them down? Guess I’m afraid of getting hurt, again. But, in the end, we are all hurt. I have to move forward. I just feel like every time I do move forward, a chunk of myself goes missing. And every time I talk to family, my counselor, or someone I trust, they give me a different answer, than the one in regards to my main, unspoken question: WHY? I know I have to move forward. We all do.

So, my new question for this hell of a world is: Why can’t we all help each other to our feet, and move forward-Together?

World, everything happens for a reason. One that no one on this earth can explain. We all seem to avoid the grudges, anger, and resentment that we hold on to, and instead of pointing the gun at those enemies: We point it at each other.

[wetslug]

2, 3, 6, 8, 10, 18, 19, get well soon!

thank you!! im actually rlly grossed out bc i just woke up in a pool of sweat so even though i dont have a thermometer i think im running a bit of a fever :/

2. what is your preferred method of non-physical self destruction? oof, i dont do this so much anymore but id used to read very sad fanfics to push me over the edge, or id look at those gore sites. now that im Medicated™ im more likely to listen to music that'll make me sad on purpose or overeat til my stomach hurts.

3. what is your favorite way to self care? making plans w people and actually following thru!!

6. what is something that you’ve always wanted to do but have never been able to do? date or have any romantic intentions w another person... idk if this is a gay thing or a low self-confidence thing but ive just never dated :/// ive tried dating apps recently but i almost feel like its an accidental catfish bc i think i look Ok in photos but then i look a lil fucked up in person lmao

8. what is something that gets to you that you wish wouldn’t? i cant handle joking/light-hearted needling about my insecurities :///

10. tell me about an insecurity you overcame. when i was HS-age i rlly hated my weight (plus it gave me gender dysphoria) and id calorie restrict but now i just dont give a shit... im not 100% happy w my body but the changes id want to make arent entirely related to weight

18. what is something you can’t bring yourself to get rid of? for some reason i hang onto shoes that r too big for me??? as if my feet will still grow?? im 23??? hello

19. tell me something you don’t like telling the people you are close to. im pretty open w/ everyone i know (bc i have no filter or shame alas) but something ive always experienced that i obviously dont want to brag about is my weird inability to truly value n connect w friends...i value what they provide for me (companionship) but i feel like on an individual level i dont view them as distinct ppl in my life and so theyre almost interchangeable ?? am i a freak idk

[scoopsgf]

Hi, Bee Dee! Big fan of yours here, I’m in the middle of a writer crisis today and would like to bother you asking for advice, hope you won’t mind!

So, I write for this pairing that has a very small fandom and most of the time I ignore the fact that 8 people (max) will read this fic I spent weeks planning and working on and putting all my love into, because... well, I’m doing it mostly because I love the ship and I want to tell stories about them. I tell myself it’s mostly self-indulging but you know how it goes. When you release it in the world, all you want is to talk about it and you want people to be excited about it too, and tell you which were they favorite parts, etc. Then you get 0 comments and 1 dm telling you what they liked but they don’t want to keep talking about that thing you’re so passionate about. They move on quickly bc that story wasn’t stuck in their heads for a long time like it was in yours, I’m left empty after this, then I start working on a new draft because all I can dream about are stories involving these two idiots. I feel so alone and egocentric when I whine about it, but it really hurts, how do you deal with these type of feeling? I’ve seen you feel bummed that X chapter didn’t get many comments or kudos, that’s why I’m asking. I know you can feel this way too even though usually you get lots of people interested and excited for your work (as you should!), I just wanted to hear from someone that seems as in love to what they write as I am for what I write (writing is the thing I love the most in life), how do I stop expecting something I know I won’t get? (I know this feeling won’t last (I’ll distract myself from it soon enough) but today my brain is totally crushing me and making me feel so so small :()

honestly, i think most writers—as soon as they publish their work—hope for some kind of feedback. i mostly tend to feel this sort of worried/anxious hopelessness when i notice a dip in engagement or feedback (which i monitor extremely closely bc i’m insane). if a chapter gets like 30 comments (rlly good feedback) and then the next one only gets 20, i panic and wonder what happened to the other ten people and why this chapter fell short of the mark. it’s mostly about wanting to ensure that i’m still satisfying the ppl reading my fics and not boring them. and tbh, i’m really tired of the narrative that writers should feel ashamed for wanting feedback! we put this stuff out there for free and many of us are working around jobs and school and even kids, but we’re doing it because we love the material and it’s fun and it creates this sense of community. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with wishing for that, especially when it comes to smaller fandoms. bigger ones like HP are so huge you have niches within them, like people who only care about the marauders or people who solely stan draco malfoy. smaller fandoms require constant engagement to keep going, which is why it’s important that people put in a tiny bit of effort to rb the gifsets content creators spend hours making, and talk to each other about this opinion or that, and leave a comment on a fic or rb it to boost it. i think my best advice for you would be to keep writing, keep publishing, but also make sure to engage with other people in your fandom. give as good as you get! reply to any comments you receive, comment on other people’s work, get to know people and try to foster that bond through fandom! and write. like really, all the time. the more you write the better you’ll be. writing is like a muscle that needs constant flexing to stay in shape. on that note, read too. you’ll come across new words and ways of thinking that influence your work and make it better. and try to do it just for you at the end of the day. write everything before publishing so a story is your own before it’s anyone else’s <3

[bratz-kitten]

i am scared but read my vibes

you’re still in love with your ex and you have this weird superiority/inferiority complex going on. i feel like you have a lot of virgo in your chart, venus dominant. you hate your appearance but you don’t want anyone to know so you act rlly confident. bullied in the past for your appearance, specifically your weight. i feel like you hate your belly? for no reason because it’s literally so pretty. you listen to so much music it’s borderline unhealthy. claustrophobia? i feel like you get very nauseous in closed spaces and you feel suffocated, you love places with high ceilings and open windows. this goes for ppl as well, you feel very suffocated soon if they show you too much affection and you back off quickly. you always leave before you get left and you fear that unpredictable things keep happening in your life, you don’t understand why but it’s like you can’t have a day of peace. your mother never respected your privacy and used to read your diary and your text messages, she really hated when you started dating and tried to forbid you from going out. someone in your life really cares about you but you’re afraid of giving them a chance because you don’t want to be hurt. pretty eyes and you exercise a lot

TELL ME HOW RIGHT OR WRONG I AM

[atlas-the-bastard]

I'm having a huge, massive, gigantic crisis.

I love marvel stuff and more specifically, lgbtq+ Marvel stuff. I have a few close friends that like marvel, but but I can't rant to them about gay marvel shit bc even tho they support the lgbtq+ community (and I'm like 96.73% sure one of them is gay) they don't like discussing the romance/sexuality side of it. The like the action stuff. And my one friend who IS lgbtq+ and likes marvel, I don't know that well and I'm not entirely comfortable pouring my stupid, gay as fuck, marvel obsessed heart out to about the fact that bucky and sam were made for each other, Stephen and Tony were 100% gay during infinity war, and Loki being genderfluid and bi, as well as valkaryie being bi and deadpool being pan is the best thing. I also don't have her on any social media platforms, and as it's holidays, I can't discuss gay marvel shit with her even if I was comfortable enough to. I'm pretty sure my parents know I'm pan, at least my mum does, but they haven't said anything (I think I'm just going to come out when I bring home my first girlfriend). Also none of my family want to listen to my marvel rants. But Tumblr is a wondeful place bc there will always be someone willing to listen, and you can pour your heart out. Even if no-one sees this or reads it, it's still helps me.

Also, if you've made it this far, GOOD JOB AND THANKYOU. I will now proceed to sum up my emotions regarding marvel and gay marvel relationships

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

But like screaming in a good way.

Also don't go past this line if you haven't watched episode 3 of Loki (it only started streaming where i am an hour ago so it's most likely most people will not have seen it.) I know I probs should wait until most ppl have seen the episode to write this, but I couldn't contain my rant any longer soo....

___________________________________________

⚠️⚠️⚠️ THERE WILL BE SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️⚠️⚠️

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

ARE YOU 100 PERCENT SURE U WANT TO READ THIS? COS THERE IS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 3 OF LOKI.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

MORE WARNINGS IN A LARGER FONT CAUSE I RLLY DONT WANT TO SPOIL THIS FOR ANYONE

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Ok so like Sylvie is Loki, but from a different multiverse or something right? (Correct me if I'm wrong). So we already have and example of genderfluid Loki, right off the bat. *insert high-pitched squeeling*

Also, when they're on the train talking about love and their past relationships and stuff, when Sylvie said "any princesses...or princes?" my heart JUMPED and did a happy little dance, and then Loki said "well, like you i suspect, a bit of both"

At that moment, I died. ITS BEEN CONFIRMED!! LOKI HAS HAD AT LEAST ONE BOYFRIEND BEFORE!!!

Although then he went on to say that none of it was really....real.

SO WHOEVER HURT MY POOR BABY LOKI, PLEASE KINDLY GO DIE IN A HOLE

But on a happier note..

IT ALSO CONFIRMS THAT SYLVIE HAS HAD AT LEAST ONE GIRLFRIEND BEFORE!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it for now folks, but I am sure that the next episode will supply us with a fresh batch of gay marvel shit.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION LOKIUS (Loki x Mobius) BC EVEN THO MOBIUS ISNT IN EPISODE 3 THEY HAVE SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION IN JUST 2 EPISODES!! LIKE LOKI FIXING MOBIUS' PERFECTLY FINE TIE, AND GETTING ALL IN HIS FACE AND CALLING HIM ADORABLE??? SO FUCKING FRUITY!!! AND THE CAFETERIA DATE WITH THEIR LEGS ENTANGLED UNDER THE TABLE?!?!??! AND MOBIUS GENTLY NUDGING LOKI AWAKE DURING A LATE NIGHT STUDY DATE?? TELL ME THATS NOT GAY!!!!!

Alright I'm done now.

Bye.