#that damn yellow sweater because it was a winner

[nervouslywild]

What’s that thing when you see something cute and your first instinct is to maim and kill? Yeah, that’s this. 

With and without the blur because I think Eddie looks cool.

[cloudytamaki]

bnha » favorite seasons

no warnings, just fluff!

@slut4kaminari because i know you love denki ;) @sugarmaplewings-fics because i know you love kiri :)

katsuki’s favorite season is summer. as we know, he loves to cook, even though he won’t admit it. grilling patties and smirking while kaminari begs for more is his thing. he’s fun to bring to cookouts; he’ll cook the food and yell while everyone vibes. when he’s with you, he enjoys summer camping. even though you have fun with him when you go camping, it’s always so damn hot. it’s humid and sticky and you have to beg him to go swimming in the lake to cool down. the best thing about summer camping is going out at night to look at the stars.

hitoshi’s favorite season is winter. he likes to sleep and be cozy. frankly, the worse it is outside the happier he is. he enjoys sitting on the couch with you, talking while drinking hot chocolate. winter means more cuddling and time spent together, in a safe environment. sometimes he sits with the cat by the fireplace. he doesn’t often go outside during winter, but sometimes he will. he likes to see the snowcapped mountains and snowy trees.

eijirou’s favorite season is fall. of course, every season is the best when he’s with you, but fall is the winner. his birthday is in october, which is a little factor, but he loves wrapping up in a scarf and warm coats. then you two go to the park and walk under the orange trees while the leaves fall. in the mornings you make pancakes and you have maple syrup with them - delicious. the breeze is crisp and the leaves crunch under your feet when you walk. literally the best season. cough sweater weather-

shoto’s favorite season is winter. to be frank, he actually doesn’t have a favorite season, since all of them are okay. like shinsou, he does enjoy cuddling under the blankets with you, and he does go outside. he will be extremely surprised if you throw a snowball at him, and this will lead to a war. he likes to try new activities such as sledding or skiing, and who are you to refuse? the best thing about winter is ice skating, period. you and him will go on that rink and do fucking flips like you’ve been skating for you entire life. he’s a fast learner and within five minutes, you’ll be racing him around.

denki’s favorite season is summer. unlike bakugo, he doesn’t really like cooking. he enjoys going to cookouts with his friends, partying with them and having fun. a secret hobby of his is going skating. no, not ice skating, roller skating. his skates are yellow, and he bought you some red ones. he often wakes you up at 2 am to go skating to a gas station for some snacks. the air is warm at night, and it’s comforting in a weird way to go out with him like this. he likes to go swimming with you or go to the arcade late in the afternoon.

keigo’s favorite season is spring. it’s not because of the hatching birds and new flowers - okay, it is. he likes opening the window at 7 am to hear the birds singing and see the sun shining. he wakes you up, telling you to get dressed to go outside. he enjoys going on walks with you, taking in that earthy smell. when it does rain on some days, he likes to dance in the rain with you. sometimes you two are in the rain or you’re inside dancing while it rains outside.

tamaki’s favorite season is fall. he is a soft and shy bean who loves wrapping up in sweaters and scarves (this way he can keep his ears warm). in your warm clothes, you can go on walks while it’s cool and go downtown. he likes tiny things like collectables, teacups, and small things like that. the downtown area has cool shops and coffee places, and he loves sitting with you while sharing a cinnamon latte. thanksgiving is also another big one for him, he likes being with your family (they’re so sweet to him). the food is so good he can’t resist.

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

Klainetober day 20

Prompt 20: Corn Maze

Summary: New Directions go to a pumpkin patch

AO3

Kurt grabs his boyfriend’s hand as they stand in front of the corn maze.

“It’s not fair that Kurt and Blaine are on the same team,” Santana says.

“You’re just mad, Britt’s not on your team,” Kurt replies.

Santana glares at him. “They win every game night!” she exclaims. “We separated them for a reason!”

Rachel sighs, “but we picked names from a hat.”

“It was random,” Tina adds.

Santana just rolls her eyes.

“Okay,” Rachel says. “Teams are as follows: Kurt and Blaine, Tina and Quinn, Finn and Brittany, Artie and Mike, Mercedes and myself, Santana and Sugar and Sam and Puck.”

“First ones out get a free dinner at Breadsitx on the rest of us,” Finn reminds them.

“Okay, let’s head out,” Sam declares, “or in, I guess.”

They all start off in the maze together until Tina and Quinn and Sam and Puck take a right instead of left. Soon enough, all the pairs are separated. Kurt and Blaine are still holding hands content to just take whatever turns they feel are right. They might get lost but at least they’re together.

Eventually, they find a spot in the maze that’s empty of other people. Blaine looks utterly adorable in his golden-yellow sweater and tight jeans, no one could really blame Kurt for pulling him aside and pushing his boyfriend up against the sturdy stalks of corn.

“What–”

Kurt quickly silences his boyfriend with a kiss on his lips before tracing the line of Blaine’s jaw with his tongue.

“Kurt, we’re in public,” Blaine says, moving his head back so Kurt has more access.

He’s moving down Blaine’s neck, tugging the neckline of the sweater to expose more skin. If he’s going to give his boyfriend a hickey in the middle of a corn maze, Kurt’s damn well going to be smart about it. They had lunch plans with the glee club after this. Kurt wasn’t about to let them turn lunch into a conversation about Kurt and Blaine’s sex life. Not that there was a sex life to be discussed at all. Okay, there may be a little bit of a sex life to talk about but only if those talking about it are Blaine or himself.

“Kurt,” Blaine murmurs, “please.”

“Please what?” Kurt asks, staring directly at the mark he made on Blaine’s skin.

“Either make out with me or let’s keep going and win this.”

“How much do you want to win a free meal?” Kurt asks.

Blaine grabs his hand and starts walking.

“I really just wanna beat Santana,” Blaine admits.

Kurt smirks, “and you know that my dad and Carole won’t be home until late.”

“What?” Blaine says with fake surprise. “I had no idea we’d be alone after lunch and I certainly didn’t hint to Finn to spend time with Rachel and leave the home empty for us.”

Kurt tugs his boyfriend closer and takes a left turn out of the maze.

“I knew I loved you for a reason,” Kurt tells him, pecking his cheek.

“Because I’m a winner?” Blaine asks, gesturing to the lack of glee clubbers at the exit.

“You’re kidding,” he says, “we stop to make out and still won?”

“Looks like it.” Blaine shrugs.

They find a bench across from the exit and curl up together watching people exit the maze waiting for their friends. They talk about what to get for lunch and how many pumpkins to get. Blaine sneaks in some whispers of their plans for later in the day causing Kurt to blush.

“We’re in public,” Kurt chastises.

“Coming from the boy who gave me a hickey in a corn maze.”

“We were alone.”

That’s how Artie and Mike find the boys when they come out of the maze: arguing over PDA. When Santana and Sugar finally emerge (fourth place), Santana freaks out on the couple claiming they should’ve separated them. Apparently, Blaine and Kurt are “too good of a team” and she considered them “sneaky little bitches” but not even Santana could say the two boys were cheaters. Blaine was much too earnest for that.

Sugar managed to calm her partner down because she said her daddy could rent out Breadsitx for her and Santana if she really wanted dinner that badly. Though Santana really wanted the satisfaction of winning and a free meal, she’d take what she could get. In the end, Sugar insisted on the entirety of the New Directions should come so Kurt and Blaine ended up winning two free meals at everyone’s Favorite Lima Italian Restaurant. Coincidentally, favorite in this statement is a synonym for only.

[ahgastae]

Fashion Don’t

Minho x Reader

Crack/Fluff

Word Count - 1.6k

“You are my only competition for this ugly sweater party, but I’ve won the past two years and you will not end my streak.”

“Han Jisung, when I find you, you are dead.” I receive a few concerned looks as I dodge and weave through the sea of party goers, mumbling threats to my best friend under my breath. When he said he didn’t want to be seen with me at the party, I didn’t think he was going to disappear within two seconds of us setting foot in the door. Besides, my sweater’s not even that bad this year. 

Speaking of...

I glance down at what Jisung refers to as, “the bane of his existence”, adjusting the knitted sweater on my body. I’m quite proud of it this year. Not that I’m not every year, but this year, I think I finally managed to outdo myself. It wasn’t easy finding yarn in this specific shade of snot green, and the cashier at the crafts store looked at me like I was crazy when I bought up their entire stock of tinsel. Clearly, I am the only one who appreciates my craftsmanship.

Finally, I spot Jisung through the crowd, nestled away in the corner of the room with Felix and Hyunjin. I should’ve known he’d be with those two. I don’t even try to hide my approach, marching up to them with the bells on my sweater jingling loudly with each step. The boys look up in surprise, and I see Hyunjin’s eyes widen as Felix immediately bursts into laughter.

“Oh my God!” He chokes out. “Y/N, that’s-”

“Absolutely disgusting,” Hyunjin’s lip curls up in distaste. He squints his eyes, holding a hand in front of his face. “God, you could decorate an entire house with all the lights you’ve got on that...thing.”

“Yeah, I know,” I smirk, pointing to the letters sewn across my chest. “That’s why I’m...”

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Too lit to quit!” Felix descends into another fit of giggles, while Jisung rolls his eyes and Hyunjin visibly cringes.

“See?” Jisung sighs. “This is why I ran away from her.”

“Ah, you guys are just jealous,” Felix wipes a tear from his eye, shooting me a thumbs up with his other hand. “Y/N, I’d say you got first place in the bag again.”

Hyunjin shakes his head, taking a quick sip of his hot chocolate, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I think you’ve got some real competition this year, Y/N.”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you saying there’s someone dressed worse than her at this freaking party?” Jisung’s voice is laced with disbelief.

“I didn’t say he was going to beat her,” Hyunjin shrugs. “Just that it might not be an easy win like it was last year.”

“And the year before that,” Felix chimes in. “C’mon, guys, Y/N’s the ugly sweater champ at Woojin hyung’s Christmas parties, she’s not going to lose to some newbie.”

“I’m not going to lose, period,” I cross my arms, staring Hyunjin right in the eyes. “You know who it is, don’t you?” He audibly gulps, glancing between the other two boys helplessly. I narrow my eyes, reaching to turn on the speaker in my sweater when he caves.

“Okay, fine! I do!” Hyunjin exclaims. “It’s Lee Minho!”

“Isn’t he Chan hyung’s friend?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin sighs. “This is the first year hyung’s actually been able to convince him to come.” I nod my head pensively, stroking the imaginary beard on my face. So this ‘Minho’ is Chan’s doing...

“Mayhaps, I should have a talk with Mr. Bang...”

Jisung rolls his eyes, but waves me off nonetheless, “Just don’t go too crazy, okay? I don’t wanna have to bail you out for holiday vandalism.”

“No promises!”

I wink at the boys, and turn to skip off back into the crowd I came from. My eyes scan the room in search of the black hoodie I know Chan is wearing (because it’s what he always wears, despite Woojin’s requests and complaints), but something else catches my attention. Or should I say, someone.

Standing over by the refreshments table, I spot a boy wearing the most atrocious sweater I’ve ever seen in my life. The base of the sweater is a bright purple, and the neon yellow ruffles going down his sleeves are a total eyesore. He’s facing away from me, but the black felt cat butt sewn onto his back tells me I’m dealing with no mere novice. This is definitely the boy I’m looking for.

I steel myself, ready to walk over and show him that my ugly sweater crown is not to be trifled with when he suddenly turns around.

And he’s absolutely beautiful.

My eyes lock with his, and I stumble, tripping over my own feet and almost sending myself sprawling onto the floor. Almost because two arms wrap around my middle, and adjust me back upright before I can even blink.

“Woah, there,” Sweater boy smiles, and I have to remind myself that his cute face does not negate the fact that he is the enemy. “Are you okay? I’m Minho.”

“You!” I narrow my eyes, pointing a finger in his face. “What business do you have showing up dressed like that, Lee Minho?”

Minho raises a brow, looking around my finger to meet my glare, “It’s an ugly sweater party? And I wanted to participate?” His eyes glance down at my own sweater, and he smirks. “Apparently just like you did. How did you get those ornaments to stay like that?” I falter, hand falling lamely back down to my side as I gape at him.

“I...What?”

“I wanted to put more glitter on mine, but Chan hyung told me he’d make me ride in the trunk if I did, so,” Minho rolls his eyes at Chan’s obvious irrationality. “I’m blaming him if I lose the competition because of it.” My ears perk up, and I suddenly remember why I’m talking to him in the first place.

“You’re trying to win the competition?” I cross my arms, trying to appear nonchalant in my curiosity.

“Yeah!” He nods, and the cocky smile returns to his face. “People have been telling me I have a good shot, but to keep an eye out for the reigning champ. Apparently, she’s known for going like, all out.”

“Is she now?”

“That’s just what people have said,” Minho shakes his head confidently. “I’m sure I can beat her, though. I mean, the only person I’ve seen with a sweater that’s not totally boring or unoriginal is...” He trails off, eyes flicking down to my sweater as his lips curl into a catlike smirk once more. “You.”

“I would take that as a compliment,” I try not to blush when his gaze returns to mine, “but I think that’ll just make it all the more painful when I crush you into second place.”

“Damn,” Minho laughs. “They weren’t kidding when they said you don’t play.” He leans in closer, grinning when I instinctively take a step back. “Well, neither do I, sweetheart. So how about we skip the trash talk and make this a little more interesting?”

I cross my arms, eyeing him warily, “What do you mean?”

“Simple,” He says. “We make a bet. If you, somehow, manage to win first place, I’ll back out of the competition forever, and you can keep your crown as queen for years to come.”

“And if you win?”

“You’ll see.” Something twinkles in Minho’s eyes, but between the arrogant look on his face and my stubborn competitiveness, I don’t think twice before holding my hand out for him to shake.

“Deal.”

“Hey, Y/N, don’t be sad,” Felix coos, patting my back in . “At least you got that sweet gift card out of it.”

“Gift cards aren’t first place, Felix,” I grumble, crossing my arms and sinking further into the couch. I toss my stupid consolation prize on the coffee table, “Besides, I don’t even like Starbucks that much...”

“Oooh, does that mean I can have it?” I wave my hand dismissively, and Felix gleefully scoops up the gift card for himself. “Awesome, thanks, Y/N! But, uh, sorry that you lost and everything.”

I sigh, running a hand over my face, “It’s fine. Second place isn’t completely losing, I guess...” The memory of the announcement of the winner flashes in my mind, and I throw my arms up in exasperation. “But how the hell did he make the choir of cats on his sweater sing the entirety of All I Want for Christmas?!”

“The same way you managed to be brighter than a Christmas tree,” A familiar voice trills. “With skill.” I look up to find Minho standing in front of us, signature smirk on his face and first place trophy under his arm.

“I, uh...I’m gonna go.” Felix, the coward, scurries off before I can stop him, leaving me alone with my new public enemy #1.

“Mind if I sit?” He doesn’t wait for me to respond, plopping down in Felix’s old seat, and setting his prize on the table. “You know what that means, right?”

I roll my eyes, “That you won the competition?”

“Yes, it does, but what else does it mean?”

“That I lost the bet.” I force the words out through gritted teeth, and Minho grins beside me. “What do you want me to do, Lee?” Minho smirks, biting his lip as he leans closer.

“Go on a date with me.”

I blink, definitely not expecting that to come out of his mouth, “What?”

“Go on a date with me,” He repeats with a shrug. “I want to know more about the queen of ugly sweaters, even if she’s been decrowned.”

“Fine, Minho, you’ve got a date,” I can’t help but smile at the excited look in his eyes. “But don’t think I’m not kicking your ass next year.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Minho laughs, throwing an arm over my shoulder. “Unless, of course, our sweaters are matching.”

[andrewmoocow]

Fooly Falls chapter 5: Don’t Lose Your Way (originally posted on August 21, 2017)

“Ah, another fine day in this dirty riff-raff town.” Preston Northwest said to himself as he overlooked Gravity Falls from his office window. “Perhaps I should've started out somewhere nice like Colorado.” he added before he heard the door open. “Mr. Northwest, sir!” an employee exclaimed as he rushed in.

“We seem to have obtained security footage from our Medical Mechanica factory last night!” he explained, which caught Preston's eye. He turned around in his chair to face his employee, only to find himself spinning in it. “Oh not again, can someone stop this chair?” the billionaire groaned before his butler grabbed hold of the back. “Thank you Phineas.” he thanked getting up.

“Alright Lawrence, show me the footage.” Lawrence turned on a screen to show footage of a group of individuals standing atop the factory. “Last night, two children accompanied by a pair of senior citizens, a Medical Machine and a girl with a Vespa bike have trespassed on factory grounds during the D.I.I's Satellite Geo-Saki's collision course with this town. Much later on, the footage started giving out as three more people appeared before it cut to static.”

“Wait a minute, rewind and zoom in on the one with the guitar.” Preston ordered as Lawrence did just that, focusing on a boy that was all too familiar to the philanthropist. “Oh goody,” he grimaced. “you.”

Dipper, Mabel and Ford were sitting down in the living room watching an episode of Ducktective. “I don't get it, what's the appeal of this series?” Ford wondered as the show's title character and his partner the constable solved another case. “The creator was inspired by his childhood where he and his pet duck would solve mysteries together.” Mabel replied. “Yeah, and he also made this with the whole family in mind.” Dipper added. “Silly jokes & fun adventure for the kids and some witty humor for the parents.”

Just then, they heard Haruko yowling as Stan came crashing down from the ceiling. “Hey, what's going on here?!” Dipper shouted to Haruko before turning to his grunkle, who was wearing a red jacket for some reason. “Aw come on babe, play nice now.” Stan muttered woozily, still reeling from the fall.

“NOT IN A HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS WILL EVER GET ANYTHING FROM ME EXCEPT TONS OF BULLETS TO THE FACE YOU OLD COOT!” Haruko screamed as she fired at Stan with a rifle. “Hey, calm down there!” he exclaimed in reply.

“What's with the red jacket Grunkle Stan?” Dipper wondered. “Oh, I got it from another one of Soos' anime. I think it's called The Wolf, about a cool thief with a love for the ladies.” Stan explained as we then cut to Canti washing dishes. “This was the jacket he started out with and a favorite of the original author Simian Slam. What, do you prefer the green one from Palace of Shamballa?”

“Okay, I'm going up there to give her what's what.” Dipper sternly proclaimed before marching up the stairs and opening the door to their attic room only to lay his eyes upon Haruko wearing nothing but a pink bath towel and shaking Gompers the goat in her arms.

“What, are you saying I have personal feelings for that kid?” she asked the goat, who bleated in reply. “I don't think so! The reason this mission has been delayed because the channel to N.O isn't open!” As she continued speaking to Gompers, Dipper watched in shock as she waved her butt in his face. “It's not about liking or disliking! Damn, the connection's dead.”

When she tossed Gompers to the ground, she turned towards Dipper smiling. “Oh my, were you listening?” she asked him. “Can you please put on some clothes? Puberty is pretty crazy you know.” the boy replied shielding his eyes.

“How's this?!” the Vespa woman exclaimed now dressed like Elvis Presley, complete with large pompadour while a chalkboard appeared behind her. “I meant normal clothes. And where did you get that board?” he said. “HARUKO'S MASTER THE GUITAR IN ONE MILLISECOND CLASS, YEAH! SIGN UP NOW!” she hollered.

“I think this is the part where I lose my mind.” Dipper said turning to the readers before he got fired at by Haruko with her rifle. “Grab a guitar and you can be a pop idol!” Haruko shouted some more. “Chicks dig it dude, pyon!”

“Pyon?” her younger friend questioned. “Like Filter, or Slash!” she continued on as her pompadour and her head got bigger. “Like Red Hot Chilli Peppers or Rage against the Machine or Richard Gene!” she screamed as her head became as big as the attic could take it. “Wait a minute, Richard Gene isn't a-” Dipper began before getting shot at again.

“You have to learn to say it like a cool rock dude pyon! Guys like Jimi Hendrix all started out like this!” she explained loudly before spinning her bass like a helicopter blade and hovering in the air. “Haruko wait! What's going on?!” Dipper exclaimed before getting shoved into his bed with Haruko on top of him, now back in her bath towel.

“You know it's dangerous to wave that thing around like that.” he stated blushing. “Use your guitar again Takkun, just one more time.” she purred. “Speaking of which, that was fantastic last night.”

“Not interested right now, now can let me go already?” Dipper responded. “I should teach you how to be a man Takkun.” Haruko giggled. “Yeah, like you know how!” he snapped back before he was shoved into her face by his horn until they locked lips, and conveniently enough Mabel & Stan walked in on them.

“Aha, I knew it all along!” Mabel cheered as she started taking pictures. “Wendy owes me big time!” The old trickster on the other hand was completely stunned as his face went red, then blue and every other color of the rainbow.

“Oh Takkun, that's more like it!” Haruko said. “No, this isn't what it looks like! It was my horn!” Dipper tried to make something up. “First kiss, good one!” she replied. “Liar, our first “kiss” was technically the first time we met when you gave me CPR!” he snapped back before Stan let out a mighty roar. “I can't believe it Takkun, you've been havin' sexy times with a hot chick and didn't bother to tell me!” he exclaimed. “And what's worse, that's my partner you were smooching!”

“Like I said, it was my horn!” Dipper tried to defend himself before getting shot at by his great uncle. “That's it kid, you're grounded.” Stan finally said whipping out a pistol. “And by grounded, I mean I'm putting you six feet under! We shall have a duel to the finish, winner gets Haruko's love and a box of Mrs. Pell's Fishsticks.” he announced.

“I'm for it!” Haruko interjected raising her hand. “You know what, forget the duel! My weapon's yours Haruko!” he exclaimed leaping out of his clothes before getting slammed into the wall by a boxing glove that came out of nowhere.

Later that day outside the Mystery Shack, the duel between great-nephew and great-uncle was about to begin. On one side were the twins & Haruko while the other side was Stan, Canti and Soos. “What's the matter kid, too chicken as usual?” Stan, dressed as some sort of heavy weapons guy, boldly proclaimed. “C'mon, show yourself and fight me like a true man!”

As Dipper was hiding in the tall grass, Haruko snuck up on him and tangled around him like a snake much to his displeasure. “What are you doing Haruko!” he exclaimed. “Aw come on bro-bro, Team HaruDip has to get along so that we can win.” Mabel said. “I even made team sweaters for everyone!”

She was currently wearing a yellow sweater with the P symbol from Haruko's Vespa and a blue pine tree on it. “This is no time for sweaters Mabel, one of us might be killed by our own uncle out here!” he replied.

“Are you sure about this Mr. Pines?” Soos stuttered as he tugged on the dogtags and red T-shirt he was now wearing. “I mean, it's perfectly normal for a little boy to have the hots for an older girl. Like when Dipper had that crush on Wendy.” he explained. “Not right now Soos, it's the principle of the thing!” his boss replied. “Oh Takkun, save me!” Haruko moaned from afar as she continued smothering Dipper. “Now's your chance Soos, fire!”

“I'm so sorry dudes!” Soos winced before he fired at the opposing team. “You better not be eating those fishsticks Ford, they're for the winner!” Stan called to his brother sitting on the porch, who already ate one. “Uh, they're all here Stanley!” Ford replied trying to hide the fishstick he ate before taking notice of a small car near the shack which a woman rose out of. “Can I help you miss?”

“Target sighted commander! It's blue, I repeat blue!” she spoke into a cellphone as she picked up an anti-tank rifle and aimed it at Canti. “Are you sure it isn't red Kitsurubami?” a voice on the other end asked, which happened to be Commander Amarao at a hair salon.  “So the blue is confirmed then? I already have the unofficial consent of both Medical Mechanica and this town's resident billionaire Preston Northwest so we'll take care of it here so they can't interfere.”

As he put down the phone, everything turned into something out of an adult cartoon from 1997. “I have work to do so let's make it quick!” he said. “Okay, but I wanted to look cool, you know what I mean, in a manly charming grown-up kind of way!” He picked up the phone again to contact Kitsurubami. “If we screw up here, Medical Mechanica will be all over us! Just forget Raharu, she'll just complicate everything! Just take care of yourself til I get there.”

“You know, more mature-looking, something a woman that I haven't seen in a long time would think 'This guy really is a hero but also nurturing and supportive', something like that. That's what I'm looking for.” he turned back to his hairdresser before taking notice of a boy in a chair next to him receiving some candy. “Oh, don't I get one of those candies? I prefer the super sweet ones, the sweetest ones if you know what I mean.”

Dipper was charging into battle with his twin pistols before firing at and pouncing on what seemed to be his grunkle before he learned it was one of many traps set by him. “Y'know for a smart kid, you're easy to fool!” Stan boasted from afar as the boy continued falling into his traps.

“They seem to be playing some kind of game. Looks really stupid, I'm sure I can handle this myself. ” Amarao's right-hand woman continued analyzing the scene as she peered through the scope of her firearm. “Hm, who's the girl he hasn't seen in so long?”

“What are you two doing just laying around, you should be helping me!” Dipper complained as he landed back into Mabel and Haruko's hiding spot. “My guitar isn't plugged in.” Haruko replied pulling out her Rickenbacker. “Don't ask bro-bro, even I don't know why she brought it along.” Mabel added.

“Are you crazy, this is a game of life and death!” he snapped back at the girls. “And squeegee, and bungee, and grungy! Oh, we're in trouble kid.” Haruko said. “Well, can you at least give me some backup Mabel?” Dipper asked his sister. “Anything for you Dipps!” Mabel cheerfully answered. “Good kid, now go out there and prove that you love me!” Haruko exclaimed kicking the twins out.

When they got up, Dipper charged at Canti with a bloodthirsty look on his face while Mabel jumped in the air with her bazooka. “Check it out Dipper, I can rocket jump!” she exclaimed before crashing down into the ground. “Oh no, Mabel down! Mabel down!” But her brother didn't seem to notice as he and the Medical Machine went all out against each other before Canti started getting fired at itself from an unknown assailant, which was Kitsurubami.

“Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, cobalt blue!” she exclaimed with each shot from her anti-tank rifle. “It's seven of nine, he's a sign!” When she got his head in her sights, she fired again. “CYBORG!!!” she screamed taking one last shot. “Cyborg my butt!” Haruko shouted back batting the bullet away from her as Dipper continued fighting Canti.

“Actually, confusing cyborgs with robots is a common misconception.” Ford stated. “But there are a few cyborgs who are mostly machine, like this policewoman I've met who's only organic part was her brain and strangely looked a bit like Scarlet Johansson-” He was interrupted when the bullet flung back at Kitsurubami's car, blowing it up and tossing her into the fray.

“Take this squirt!” Stan cried charging towards his great-nephew before being knocked over by the government agent and sent tumbling around. “Soos, Canti, you're on your own for now!” Dipper however saw this as an opportunity to land the killing blow. “Alright, one more shot and I win!” he proclaimed as he prepared to pounce on the machine before being interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Hi Dipper!” It was Pacifica, who had come by for some reason. “Oh no Paz, get out of here!” Dipper exclaimed jumping in front of her as Canti fired one last bullet at his torso, knocking him out. “Oh no dude, you alright?” Soos cried rushing to the boy's side. “I'm fine Soos, I just don't know how I could survive that.”

“And by the way Canti, I get three time-outs!” he turned to Canti, who blankly stared at him in reply. “Don't give me that look!” Dipper exclaimed much to the heiress's confusion. “Are you okay there Dipper?” she asked. “Oh, it's just that my great uncle wants to kill me because he thought I got 'busy' with his new friend.” he answered. “So what are you doing here anyway?” he wondered.

“Oh yeah, my dad sent me out here to tell you that he's kinda ticked off about you trespassing on his Medical Mechanica factory.” Pacifica said. “Speaking of which, is this Medical Machine like, your servant or something?” she asked. “Yeah pretty much. Hey Canti, can you go to the grocery store?” The machine did as it was told as it soared off into the sky. “And remember to get the candy Mabel likes!” Dipper called.

“So what was that about your father?” he asked turning to Pacifica. “Like I said, he got pretty mad about you and your family stepping on his territory when that big satellite nearly killed us all last night.” she stated. “And I saved us!” Dipper responded fiercely.

“Wait, you did what?” his rich blonde friend stuttered. “Yeah he did, he was all bang-slam-kerpow!” Mabel exclaimed getting back up with only a few scrapes on her. “With a Gibson?!” Pacifica continued, still utterly stunned. “It's true!” Haruko replied dancing into view and glomping Dipper, while Mabel chanted “Smooch, smooch, smooch!” several times.

“And I thought that lumberjack ghost was freaky.” Pacifica said to herself before discovering Ford sitting on the porch. “Hey, is that supposed to be your great uncle? He looks so different from when I last saw him.” she wondered. “Oh yeah, that is out great uncle, but he's not really Stan.” Dipper replied. “Yeah, Grunkle Stan had this weird portal behind the vending machine in the gift shop that he used to bring his brother back from some parallel universe or something crazy like that.” Mabel added.

“He-hey Sixer!” Haruko called to the polydactyl professor while pulling at Dipper's face before he started to feel faint.

“So this Haruko woman just decided to stay at your place after nearly killing Dipper?” Pacifica asked Mabel as they walked through the woods. “Pretty much, fate is crazy that way.” the sweater girl replied. “Plus ever since then, all kinds of crazy robots started popping out of this weird horn on his forehead like Canti for example. Plus Haruko really hit it off with Stan, even coming with him on a revenge trip.”

“And Dipper was stuck into some weird shootout after your great-uncle caught him making out with that Haruko?” the blonde added blushing. “Why would you ask that?” Mabel wondered for a bit before going silent and putting a coy expression on her face. “You like Dipper, don't you P?” she said. “What, no I don't!” Pacifica claimed blushing harder. “I just think he's a nice guy, okay?”

“So that was Preston's girl, huh?” Ford wondered with his mouth full of fishsticks. “Yeah, it turns out she doesn't have the best parents and she saved my life during Northwest Fest. How she's doing now I don't want to know.” Dipper replied.

“And are you sure you have a crush on her?” the old-aged genius added, much to his younger counterpart's embarrassment. “Okay maybe I kind of do, but I'm afraid to confess my feelings to her because I'm terrible with girls.” he admitted. “I can definitely relate Dipper. One time when I was your age, I held hands with a girl who suddenly freaked out and ran away because of my six fingers.”

“And then there's Haruko.” Dipper continued. “She was initially a complete annoyance to me but as time went on, I'm starting to like her more. Maybe it's because of all the crazy adventures we went on because of her.” Ford then came to a conclusion. “Maybe it's because she has connections to Canti.” he said. “Maybe it seems that this town's weirdness has brought her here and all the robots with her. “

“Y'know speaking of weirdness, where did Grunkle Stan go anyway?” the boy wondered before his other great uncle pulled a pistol on him. “Whoa whoa whoa, I thought you were better than this!” Dipper exclaimed. “Don't fret kid, Stan left behind one of his ten guns and I want to see how durable your head is with that horn.”

Meanwhile somewhere near the Shack in the forest, a battle-damaged Kitsurubami was retching up dirt and grime from her tussle with Stan as she contacted her superior. “I'm on the ground. The attack was a failure, some old man got me distracted and I lost the target.” she spoke into the phone as Stan got up and walked away. “

That little tumble was fun and all babe, but I gotta go find Haruko.” the con-artist said. “It's a horrific entity that flies around like it hasn't heard of gravity.” Unbeknownst to her, Canti happened to float near her until she turned around and screamed.

Meanwhile back at the salon, Amarao was still on the phone as Kitsurubami started making random noises. “Kitsurubami, Kitsurubami! Are you alright?” he exclaimed into the phone before he got hit with a splash of water. “Now hold still sir, we're gonna do the hair color next.” his dyer stated as she started rubbing his red hair. “Now who do you want it, auburn, chestnust or maybe even, fooly cooly color?”

“Fooly.......cooly........” It took Amarao a while to realize it, but he recognized that voice from anywhere and the two pulled weapons on one another, with the woman revealing herself to be Haruko.

“What's with the eyebrows loverboy? An attempt at bushy masculine charm?!” she exclaimed pointing a razor at his neck. “Chicks dig the clean-cut look, that what you were thinking?!” Amarao wasn't having it as he pointed a handgun at her forehead. “Raharu!” he growled preparing to pull the trigger. “Deciding to send your little commando on a mission!” And that's when they went all out against each other with tons of firepower.

“Ow, are you done yet Ford?” Dipper exclaimed as Ford fired a few bullets at the boy's head. “Guess I am, that noggin of yours is really sturdy.” Ford replied as he tossed away the gun. “Your horn's acting up again, could it be that fooly cooly Stan keeps rambling about?” he asked noticing his great-nephew's horn as it started to wiggle.

“Hey guys, whatcha talkin' about?” Mabel wondered as she returned to them and sat down on the couch. “We were just discussing how much Haruko has changed us and Ford shooting me to see how tough my head was.” Dipper replied before taking his sister's head. “C'mon, let's go find Grunkle Stan.” Meanwhile, Kitsurubami had enough and started emptying lead on Canti. “NOOOO! STAY AWAY!” she exclaimed.

In town, Stan was charging through the streets looking for Haruko until he ran into a overweight man wearing a shirt that had a pizza on it. “Hey big guy, you seen a young lady about yay high, has pink hair and pretty much mentally unstable?” he asked panting before the pizza guy pointed at the hair salon. “Cool, thanks!”

Back onto Haruko and Amarao's firefight, the two continued giving each other all they got before standing off. “I'm not a child anymore, I'm an adult!” Amarao proclaimed putting on a pair of sunglasses. “I can buy my own insurance and everything!” Just then, dozens of other agents assembled behind him carrying guns like him.

“That robot is too dangerous. If we don't take it out, Medical Mechanica will make its move.” he explained. “You understand what they're planning and how it would affect the planet. And that thing, when it turns red, it's Atomsk.”

That last sentence alone made Haruko really angry as she opened fire on pretty much everyone in the building, shooting agents that busted in left and right until the front door was opened by Stan.

“Haruko, I've been wondering where you were!” he cried before turning his attention to Amarao. “Hello there eyebrows.” he grimaced at the head of the D.I.I. “Stan Pines, I knew you would show up here.” Amarao replied pointing his gun at the old trickster. “I'm surprised you didn't recognize me at first last night.” the great-uncle replied pulling out a gun of his own. “Was it the fake mustache?”

“You didn't have a fake mustache you idiot!” Amarao roared before turning to his men. “Pines isn't important right now, just stop Raharu!” At his command, they all dogpiled and pointed their guns at Haruko before she blasted them off her and pointed her Rickenbacker at Amarao. “You've got to be kidding me.” he groaned surrounded by the unconcious bodies of his fellow agents.

“Two against one, sounds like pretty good odds.” Stan added brandishing some brass knuckles.

Meanwhile, the Pines twins were running into town searching for their uncle. “You know bro, you've been acting pretty different lately, a bit less awkward and more awesome.” Mabel said. “Maybe Ford was right, maybe Haruko did have a part in the grand scheme of this.” Dipper boldly deducted. “Seriously Dipper, you've become so much different ever since she came here. She taught me to be braver in the face of life-threatening situations.”

Meanwhile, Stan and Haruko continued duking it out with Amarao while nearby townsfolk ran for cover, with the two tricksters getting the upper hand.

“You already are pretty brave. By the way, what's with that weird thing on the back of your head?” Mabel responded staring at the gun that appeared on her brother's head without his knowledge. “Be honest, you like her!”

Dipper stopped right there on the sidewalk as he was taken aback by his sister's words, given that he wasn't very good with romance and that Mabel's personal goal this summer was to meet a cute boy that would date her. Suddenly, he felt something click in his head as his horn burst out and planted itself in the ground before pushing him skyward as Mabel grabbed onto it.

The siren from Medical Mechanica sounded as the boy's horn grew larger, large enough to be noticed by Kitsurubami & Canti, Pacifica and all the people of Gravity Falls. Amarao, now on the ground after losing his battle with the man of mystery and his pink-haired partner and losing his large eyebrows, got up to notice what happened.

“Oh no, where are my eyebrows?!” he screamed before turning his head to the giant horn in the middle of town. “Medical Mechanica is using these machines to destroy this town and the rest of the planet, we are so screwed!” he continued on, much to Stan and Haruko's annoyance. “Yeesh, for such a calculating government agent, he sure is a wimp.” Stan mocked him. “Your friend is the one who caused all this Pines, and now we're all screwed because of her!”

“I don't care you idiot, got it memorized?” Haruko added scowling at Amarao. “Your guitar's not up to it, that's it!” he replied. “You're a million years under-evolved, you primitive monkey!” she screamed. “Whoa, take it easy babe!” Stan exclaimed trying to calm her down. “That's discriminatory language against underdeveloped planets!” Amarao shouted back before he was hit in the head with Haruko's bass before she waved it around while chanting.

“You can't do that here! Where are my eyebrows, my eyebrows!” Suddenly, a small thing appeared on the redhaired agent's forehead. “A little small as usual, but it'll do.” Haruko said plucking it off before revving up her instrument and taking off. “You handle him yourself Stan!”

“Stanley!” a voice called from a nearby alleyway. Stan walked into it to find his brother hiding. “Thank goodness you're still alive! Listen, we need to save Dipper & Mabel and the town!” Ford exclaimed. “Yep, that's the biggest one this story might put out.” Stan replied turning back to the giant robot.

“I have a feeling Diamond Brandy might show up, so I've decided to bring this along.” Reaching into a duffel bag, the genius pulled out a stone mask with a red gem on it.

“Oh mama, that looks like mob-boss quality!” the con-artist exclaimed reaching for him before his hand was slapped aside. “This is the Eyes of Heaven mask, an ancient artifact that I've recovered many years ago from temple ruins. If Diamond Brandy dare touches it, it could bring about the end of days!”

“Seriously, what does that chick see in those kids, especially the one with the hat?!” Amarao whined still looking up to the sky. “I don't know, maybe it's because he sort of has a pair.” Stan replied with a laugh.

Meanwhile high up in the sky, Dipper and Mabel were clinging on for dear life on top of the new robot's hat as it started moving towards Medical Mechanica. “If this is our last moment together Takkun, then I want to say it's been an honor being your sister!” Mabel exclaimed hugging her brother.

“I love you too Mabel, now hold on!” Dipper replied as he tried to find a way to safely return to the ground until a red light appeared zooming across the sky. It was Haruko, surfing on her guitar and wearing a Playboy bunny outfit for some reason. “Hey, it's Haruko!” the shooting star exclaimed. “Wait, why is she dressed like that?”

“DAICON FIVE!!!” Haruko cried as she fired a small guitar like a slingshot at the robot, knocking it back a bit. “Stop it Haruko!” Dipper shouted clinging on for dear life. “Please Takkun, summon Canti so that you can save us!” his sister cried ducking for cover. “Wait, are you serious right now?” the younger by five minutes boy exclaimed. “Of course I'm going to save us! CANTI!”

The Medical Machine sprung into the air and landed by his side. “And by the way, you've always known me as Dipper, not Takkun! You better remember that!” he shouted before getting eaten by Canti's torso jaws and making it turn red. As the robot pulled out a gun and started firing at the Vespa Woman, she gracefully dodged all its attack before being knocked down to the ground by one. Suddenly, Canti soared down and picked her up, seating her on its back.

Haruko prepared to attack with the slingshot again, but it proved ineffective against the mechanical monstrosity. “Ugh, useless!” she groaned throwing the slingshot away before slamming Canti's head, turning it into a cannon which fired at the gun-toting machine. It landed quite a hit, knocking it over while Mabel nearly fell off before Canti swooped in and saved her.

“It's falling!” Grenda exclaimed as she and Candy held each other close. “If this is the end of the line, then it's been fun being your friend!” the Asian girl replied before they noticed Mabel landing right in front of them. “Well, it's official. I have a fear of giant robots with cowboy hats and guns!” she exclaimed dusting herself.

“FINAL ROUND?!” Haruko exclaimed as the robot toppled over. Canti launched one final attack, which proved nothing when the robot repelled it by firing back and sending it careening into a nearby billboard. “I'm all out of ammo!” she complained before leaping into the air with her Rickenbacker in hand, but the robot aimed and fired all its weapons at her as it formed into a hand-like shape.

“Commander!” Kitsurubami cried as she and Amarao drove into the action. “I told you this was impossible!” her superior replied in panic before they were hit by a stray bullet. The bass-playing bunny continued falling as the robot got back up on its feet before she fell into Canti's arms when his screen started glowing.

“This is bad, it's heading towards the factory, it's gonna activate it!” Amarao screamed in terror before he spotted a beam of light spilling out of the Medical Machine's head. It grabbed the light and pulled it out, forming a guitar-shaped object. “It's....” Amarao said. “It's Atomsk's....” Haruko shouted in surprise.

“GIBSON EB-0 1961 MODEL!” they shouted in unison. Dropping Haruko, Canti launched itself at the robot, smacking it with the bass and finally making it fall over. It tumbled a bit before bouncing atop Medical Mechanica and turning into a giant hand. “I can't believe it, that must be the one!” Amarao exclaimed as it continued falling. “It's the real Pirate King!”

Canti struck one final blow, creating a large hole in the palm and causing a piece of machinery to burst out. Suddenly, steam erupted from the factory covering all of Gravity Falls with it. Meanwhile, Stan, Ford, Soos and Wendy were on a Mystery Shack golf cart searching for the kids. “See them dudes?” Soos asked. “No way Soos.” Wendy replied. “But we do see some kinda meteorite headed right for us.” Stan added. “Wait a minute, that isn't a meteor-RUN!” Ford exclaimed as they all ran far away from the golf cart as it met its untimely end in the hands of the clump of technology.

The red ammo fell from the billboard as the girls all watched, later joined by the Stans and the Shack employees. The golf cart crashed into a nearby fire hydrant spraying water on the glowing bullet before it turned back into their friend Dipper, followed by Haruko landing right next to him as she gazed into Atomsk's screen. “Atomsk!” she moaned.

“Dipper, you're alright!” Mabel exclaimed as she hugged her brother. “I was worried for you too.” he replied hugging her as well, before they patted each other on the back. “It's nice that both of you have their heads still attached which means your parents won't try to kill me, but now let's head back home.” Stan said picking them up by the arms. “I think you might need some rest.”

As they all happily walked back to the Shack, everything became frozen as a portal opened before them, which out climbed none other than Diamond Brandy. “Oh, did I miss the party?” he wondered as he raised a bubble around him and the Pines family. “Well, at least I get a few goodies.”

“Someone help us!” Mabel shouted pounding on the shield. “Soos, Wendy, Haruko, anyone!” Dipper added also pounding. “That shield won't work children. Outside things are going normally but here, I get to slaughter you and nobody will notice.” Diamond replied. “Now Six Fingers, I sense you have the item that I've been looking for.” he said turning to Ford. “I said it once and I'll say it again, I will never hand you the Eyes!” Ford declared. “Well then, if I can't take the mask, then I'll take your family's lives instead.” When he finished that sentence, the rest of the family became buried neck-down in the street, struggling to escape.

“Now what will it be Stanford, your loved ones or my key to ultimate power?” Brandy offered as he summoned a sword caked in blood in his hand. “You should know this sword is painted with the blood of my enemies.” Ford quivered as his brother and great-nephew & niece begged for mercy as he lowered the sword at their heads. “I think I'll start with.....” he pointed it at Stan. “YOU!!!”

“WAIT!” Ford interrupted his brother's execution by pulling out the mask. “I'll give you the mask, just leave my family and this planet alone!” The ruby gem resting atop its forehead glimmered in the light. “Very good choice.” the demon thanked him before pulling the three up like vegetables. “Now hand it over.”

“Hey wait, before you go off and destroy the galaxy, why don't you tell us your backstory? You just can't be evil because why not.” Mabel asked. “Fine Shooting Star, allow me to let you relive my past.” His fingertips glowed before he touched the Pines' foreheads, sending them all the way back to a Mayan-looking village. “Welcome to the story of how I became the monster you see today.”

“Before now, I was just another weakling that was picked on by my kinfolk.” he narrated as a young boy that looked like Diamond was picked on by other children. “Stay back, I have awesome powers that would make you wet your trousers!” the boy that would become Diamond Brandy exclaimed before throwing his hands out, expecting to release an awesome attack but nothing happen.

“Face it Deh'Go, you're not gonna go far.” one of the kids stated as they all walked away. “If you want your own powers, then why don't you just walk into a mud pit, I'm pretty sure you'd get earth powers.”

“Good Lord, and I thought Crampelter was bad.” Stan said as they all watched the younger Brandy weep in sorrow. “I just want to hug that nice and chubby baby so hard!” Mabel exclaimed as she tried to run up to the child, but failed.

“Sorry girl, we're spirits now. Meaning we can't interact with others while in this state.” Brandy explained. “My life was pretty terrible, but then everything changed when Atomsk attacked.”

He fast-forwarded time to a point where he was standing in the flaming ruins of his village. ”I wanted to help ward him off, but I failed and our home was reduced to rubble.” A short man with a bushy beard and white robes marched up to Brandy, looking very angry. “Do you realize what you have done Bu'Ran'Doy, now we have to rebuild!” the man barked as many other equally upset villagers gathered behind him. “But Atomsk is gone, that's good right?” the taller man sheepishly replied before his fellow Pole People started throwing rocks at him. “I was exiled from my home that day, but then I found help.”

Fast forwarding a little bit more, an image of Brandy drawing a circle in the dirt surrounded by a set of eight makeshift candles. “Hey, this is just like when Gideon summoned....oh no.” Dipper realized. “Indeed Pine Tree, it was at this spot where I first met a being you might know as Bill Cipher.” the demon explained as they all watched him summon the three-sided terror.

“Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!” the younger Diamond Brandy chanted with his eyes glowing blue as a familiar shape began to form, manically laughing along the way until Bill Cipher appeared before him.

“Hey there pal, name's Bill! And I suppose you summoned me for your own goals?” the dream demon greeted Brandy. “Indeed I have oh Great Triangle God of Weirdness,” Brandy replied kneeling before him. “I seek revenge on my people for shunning me all my life for my lack of special powers.”

“You mean those Pole People? Yeah, I think I can help you with that.” Bill replied as he began scrolling through different types of magic. “Which one would you like? I got water, earth, fire, air, metal, blood, etc!” All of those sounded interesting to the young Pole Person, but one had caught his eye. “I would like fire please.” he answered. “Firestarter? That's pretty hard to master.” the triangular terror said as he turned back to Deh'Go with his hand covered in blue fire. “Now do we have a deal?”

“It's a deal.” the future destroyer replied as he shook the demon's hand. “Alright, Firestarter's all yours pal!” Bill exclaimed as he started to disappear. “And remember, THE MEANING OF LIFE IS A JOKE, I WILL RETURN HERE ONE DAY, HERE'S JOHNNY BYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!!!” Cipher had disappeared, leaving Buh'Ran'Doy with this paper rune as he cackled evilly. “Look out Cylindoria, I will return!”

“What I didn't realize was that a lone villager was spying on me and Bill.” And he was right, a villager with a prominent bald spot watched as Brandy laughed, fearing the worst for his people. “When he returned to the city of Cylindoria, he explained what he had saw to the high council and they decided to create a mask that would end my reign of terror. And the rest was history.”

With that, he fast-forwarded through the rest of his story, from the creation of the mask, him mastering his powers, the destruction of Cylindoria and being sealed by the last Pole Person, who turned out to be that same villager. “Now that we got my backstory out of the way, the mask please.” Brandy ordered, in which Ford complied handing it over. “Yes, ultimate power is mine!” He put it on and everything was silent. Then, beams of light burst out of his limbs as he felt his power growing.

Then everything went silent again as the mask crumbled into pieces and falling onto the pavement. “Thank you for your time mortal, I promise your planet will be left unharmed.” Diamond Brandy thanked Ford before summoning his sword and soaring into the sky while the shield disappeared.

“Hey dudes, we were wondering what happened to you.” Soos said with a concerned look on his face. “Yeah, while you were gone Haruko ran off with Canti because of some weird Pirate King stuff that isn't related to that pirate show Soos watches.” Wendy added. “We actually weren't gone, we were held captive by this crazy guy who wanted to kill us unless Ford handed over this mask he wanted!” Mabel exclaimed while Dipper gazed into the sky, wondering where Haruko had gone.

“Aw chin up kid, Haruko may be gone probably for good and the whole universe is in danger, but at least we got Mrs. Pell's Fishsticks!” Stan reassured his great-nephew which Ford blush. “Well that's a pretty funny story. I uh, ate them all.” he nervously confessed showing the empty box to his brother. “They tasted so good when they're raw!” Stan replied by punching him in the face.

Hello everyone, Ford here. Well this is it, the final chapter is almost here. I just want to say it's been a fun ride with you all and I really had a fun time, even if I nearly doomed us all. Join us next time for Fooly Falls chapter 6! Now go beyond, PLUS ULTRA!

[junker-town]

Why The Open is the best major in golf

There's nothing in golf like The Open. Here's why the 148th edition will be special and worth watching again.

Every major championship has its own identity, but none is stronger than the oldest in golf, The Open. The easy and popular choice for "favorite major" is the Masters. The event at Augusta National has marketed itself perfectly and elevated its importance in what is a relatively short history compared to the other majors. I prefer The Open.

For several reasons -- the identity, how it stands so apart from every other tournament of the season, my own personal interaction and memories -- this is the championship that resonates most with me. I get up for it more than any other major. Here are some of the ways it's the best, most entertaining major in golf.

1. Links weather

It can get a little monotonous for the American golf fan. Sure, there are occasional seaside venues and many courses have a signature hole or quirk. But there are certainly months-long stretches with little variety.

The Open's great appeal is that it presents the players and audience with such a dramatically different venue and style of golf. There's an increased level of creativity often required to succeed -- we've seen Tiger win without ever taking his driver out of the bag, we've seen unknown Todd Hamilton win using a damn hybrid to bump-and-run his way around the greens, and we see winning scores that run the gamut. At Troon, a runaway duel between Phil Mickelson and Henrik Stenson left us with a winning score at 20-under. The Open rota is mostly predictable set of venues but this year's, Royal Portrush, is an unknown for the pros. It’s the first time The Open has come to Northern Ireland and Portrush since 1951 and it’s sold out, a rarity for this major. The pros may not be familiar with it, but it’s a world-class setup fully capable of hosting and will provide many of those traditional links feels and views we get in Scotland and England.

It's just a totally different style of golf and the weather can change it all from day to day, morning to afternoon and hole to hole. Sure, the big hitters and bombers often still have the advantage that they enjoy at many of the other venues on the season schedule. But at least they have to think about it some more, adapt different parts of their games and get creative at times. There are *options* on almost every shot, especially up around the green.

Many of the courses on The Open rotation have been lengthened, like all the other championship tracks across the world. But these venues still look the same -- you know immediately that you're at The Open. Links golf through the weather is the defining characteristic of an Open Championship and it's rewarding to dive right in for one all-important week each year.

2. Middle-of-the-night golf

Again, a unique aspect of The Open that is part of its charm but would be quite miserable if it went on for more than one week per year. BUT ... it's just one week, so suck it up and embrace the glorious blessing of middle-of-the-night golf. Getting up in the middle of the night to watch every hour of The Open broadcast once let me witness the greatest player-caddie interaction of all time.

The Phil-Bones dynamic made this job more fun. Maybe my favorite Vine ever from '14 Open. #RIPPhil&Bones #RIPVine pic.twitter.com/bCsV8VJiWk

— Brendan Porath (@BrendanPorath) June 20, 2017

You never know what you might get as the rest of your house presumably sleeps. It's a fun party -- social media starts to stir, you know who's up and around and ready to plow through a 14-hour march.

In recent years, ESPN would come on the air around 4 a.m. for the first two rounds. This year, however, Golf Channel and NBC are back again for their fourth straight Open and will run a 50-hour broadcast from the very first tee shot until the conclusion on Sunday afternoon. So we'll do it live dammit! starting around 1:30 a.m. ET on Thursday. You now need to get up three hours earlier than you used to.

Whatever your preferred method is for getting through it -- crashing early Wednesday, or just going out for a late dinner, then staying out and powering through until Thursday afternoon -- make the effort. It's just one week and it becomes a fun personal tradition.

3. The 18th

Fewer and fewer things in golf really get the emotions running high -- so much of it is produced and forced. But the scene at the 18th of The Open never fails. Like so much with the oldest major in golf, it's because you know exactly what you're getting there. The courses may change but the R&A creates an ideal theater at the 18th each year. The only difference, really, is the clubhouse, which can serve as a "back wall.”

Grandstands go deep up the fairway from the area around the green, creating a tunnel of sorts. They also always look the same -- a similar arrangement with the blue-and-yellow scoreboards lording over the scene. It's a tradition and it looks inspiring even empty before Sunday...

Major championships are special, the walk up 18 at @theopen is another level. Sometimes have to stop and enjoy those moments with your dad!

A post shared by Justin Thomas (@justinthomas34) on Jul 15, 2018 at 9:01am PDT

... and then completely chilling when that Sunday comes and the crowds envelope the final group walking up to the green.

"It's the greatest walk in golf."pic.twitter.com/rk1I6xN1i7

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) July 18, 2017

Every major is going to put up a grandstand at its final hole, but no one sets the scene and does it with such a traditionally consistent look like The Open.

A major championship may not always produce the sexiest winner, but whomever makes that walk up the 18th at Portrush on Sunday will be gripping to watch.

4. The starter

Only at the Open Championship does a 156-player field all go off the same tee for all four rounds. It's just not possible at the U.S. Open or PGA Championship, where they send the full field in groups of three off both the 1st and 10th tees.

At The Open, however, it often stays light out way past 9 p.m. and sometimes pushing 10:30 or so when it's north in Scotland. They start the first and second rounds at 6:30 a.m., and just run everyone off the first tee for almost 11 hours until just after 4 p.m.

Standing guard at the 1st tee for the entire 11 hours, never taking a bathroom break, was always Ivor Robson, the iconic Open starter. Mr. Robson retired four years ago at St. Andrews, so we no longer have his incredibly unique and amusing voice at the start of every single round.

It will take a generation for someone to have the built-in familiarity that Robson had. David Lancaster got the first call for the impossible task of replacing Robson, and he didn't fly solo, unmoved for 11 hours like the great Ivor, but rather had occasional support from a second chair.

5. Pot bunkers

Bunkers, or sand traps if you're so inclined, aren't what they used to be. They're often not that penal for the best in the world, who sometimes even prefer that the ball go in a bunker for an easier up-and-down. At The Open, however, you can count on carnage. The pot bunkers are another tradition that make the golf of The Open so different from what we're used to, and it's fun to watch the best be challenged. Many of these might as well be hazards.

Steve Flynn-USA TODAY Sports

6. Gorse

A word that's really only used, and used constantly, at The Open. It's junk, schmutz, jail, death. These are the plants so thick that once your ball goes off line and lands in them, you'll have trouble just finding it. There are fewer of these gorse bushes at Portrush but there are large swaths of unkempt and unplayable fescue and wildflower fields Playing it and making a swing is often not really an option. So much like the bunkers, these are unofficial hazards. You don't need ponds and lakes everywhere to force big numbers on a scorecard.

7. The outfits

Your browser does not support iframes.

Yeahhh, the outfits from past decades at the other majors look questionable and can be jolting in retrospect. But the players tend to get a little more creative at The Open, going for some amalgam of modern and edgy gear that's also a nod to the history in the home of golf. This was Rory McIlroy's getup at Carnoustie in 2007 -- not some mid-70s tournament, although there's an overflowing library of those, too. A mock turtle, deep V sweater and white pants.

The weather always forces the players to layer up and all the #brands want to display their best, most innovative or iconoclastic stuff. What you get is a four-day adventure in style.

8. The Claret Jug

I am biased. If you've read this far, you understand that I love almost everything about the way The Open stands out from the others. So I am sure there will be some objections in some quarters ... buuuut the Claret Jug is the best trophy in sports. There are only one or two active trophies that are older, and it's the oldest in golf. There's nothing incredibly ostentatious about it. It's relatively small, has an actual utilitarian purpose and is the most sought-after trophy in the game. The presentation of the jug, as the R&A chief drones "champion golfer of the year," is another goosebumps moment at the end of this event.

You can have your green jacket. I want to put $40,000 bottles of wine in my jug like Phil Mickelson.

* * *

There are so many little quirks that separate The Open from every other event in golf. A first tee start or a logo or a trophy all taken individually seem minor and unnoticeable. But the combination of all these differences and touches make The Open what it is, and that's the best major in golf. The course, the players, the time of day, the broadcast, the history ... there are so many things, both subtle and conspicuous, that make up a major's identity. The combination at the modern-day Open make it the most fun in golf.

[lauradoeslipstick]

February Favorites

February was an unusual month for me. I rarely travel these days, but in early Feb I flew to DC for a girls trip- which was truly amazing but also left my skin destroyed (no sleep, terrible diet, dry airplanes) and it took the whole month to recover (hormones!!). I also got paid a little extra and decided to treat myself to some new things after several months of buying gifts for others only. 

skincare

- I broke down a few weeks ago and ordered the newly available smaller size of the Sunday Riley UFO Ultra-Clarifying Face Oil. I know I’ve talked about SR and this specific product before, but it’s truly the only thing that treats and prevents my breakouts, ESPECIALLY hormonal ones. For half the price you can get half the full size, and I honestly think that’s all anyone needs since you’re only using it 2-3 times a week and a little goes a long way. 

- In my Sephora Play box this month I got a sample of the Clinique Pep Start moisturizer, which I was surprised to learn is also a pore-filling/blurring primer! I really liked the way my skin looked after application, and the fact that it does double duty as skincare. If you have truly dry skin you might need to apply a heavier moisturizer underneath, but it worked amazing for my oily skin. Would be fantastic for someone who doesn’t need coverage but wants to have smooth, even-looking skin. 

- I don’t think I’ve talked about GlamGlow products before because many of them irritate my skin, but this month I turned back to what is IMO the best one- the Supermud Clearing Treatment mask (in the white container). I have a small size that I use as a spot treatment when I get my monthly chin outbreak or anytime my skin feels congested, and it honestly works within minutes. It either brings stubborn zits to the surface or calms inflamed ones and reduces redness. I don’t think I’d use this all over my face, but as a specific area mask it’s amazing

beauty 

- I finally tried (and liked) a new foundation! I decided to check out the Estee Lauder Double Wear Light range (the original Double Wear was a little too heavy and a little too yellow-leaning) and damn... WE HAVE A WINNER. As we all know, I have extremely oily skin that eats makeup and causes thin formulas (like most BB creams or tinted moisturizers) to simply slide off over the course of a day. This is the only lightweight foundation I’ve tried that stays put, even without a major dose of powder. I love that it’s low maintenance enough that I can throw it on to go to my office or run errands, but full coverage enough that I can wear it for a night out too. If you have oily skin, you need this. 

- I haven’t changed my eyeliner game in years, and I decided I wanted to step out of the box a bit... but not too much! So I tried the step-sister of my beloved MAC Teddy- MAC’s modern twist Kajal liner in “groundbreaker”. It’s still a shimmery brown, but it’s more of a bronze than a warm gold like Teddy. I’ve been smudging this into my lash line instead of using liquid liner for a wing and loving the low key messy vibe. Plus I think it makes my eyes look extra blue!

- Another thing we know I love is a good peach blush. Of course I love MAC Peaches, a matte coral shade, and NARS Luster, a shimmery peachy-pink. But I wanted to see if there was one in between the two (a secret about me is that I often mix blushes because one is too bright or too matte or too whatever) that would be juuuust right. I tried MAC Style, which was a little too orange-y for me though I kept it and will continue using it for mixology... and kept my eye on several other high end peaches. Then I saw that a dupe for Too Faced’s “I Will Always Love You” blush is Wet N Wild’s Color Icon blush in “Apricot In The Middle”. I picked it up immediately ($3!) and it’s fantastic. I would say it’s a slightly more orange-toned version of Milani Luminoso (the infamous peach drugstore blush), and lasts a little longer. If you’re looking for that peach-y glow, definitely try it out.

- Also in my PLAY box this month was a sample size of the NARS velvet lip guide in the shade “bound”. This one is tricky to describe- it’s not a matte liquid lipstick that dries down and doesn’t budge, it’s got a sheen to it but it’s not a gloss, and it does last a good amount. Bound is also hard to describe- it’s like a muted dusty rose? Almost a desaturated version of my exact lip color, which makes it perfect for every day. And because it’s almost moisturizing there’s not the same fussing an intensely matte lipstick requires. I can see myself buying the full size of this shade and wearing it to pretty much anything. 

clothing 

- This month I ordered 3 new pieces from ASOS Curve and love them all. I’ve been wanting a black wrap-top jumpsuit for months, and I finally caved during the President’s Day sale and picked this one up. It fits well and is comfortable but fancy enough to be worn to a nice event. I also grabbed this polka dotted wrap dress because it’s very on brand for me, and when I tried it on BF said it’s his favorite thing I’ve ever worn! It’s almost a sliky blouse material but totally opaque and also comfy. Very 50s pin-up. Finally I ordered this pale pink leather jacket totally on a whim, and have decided that it’s perfect for my needs. It’s edgy without being dark (like all my other clothes), comfortable and lightweight enough to be worn over bulky sweaters in the winter or light dresses in the spring. It also fits me almost exactly the same as the model, which is a surprise that never happens. 

etc. 

- BF and I have been sleeping on a literally nailed together wooden bed frame we got mostly for free with our queen mattress this past fall. We decided we needed an upgrade and something a little lighter, and went with this white metal frame from Ikea. At first I was skeptical that it looked a little hospital-y, but it’s exactly what our small bedroom needed, and is so lightweight that it will be a charm to move. 

- John Wick 2 was great! As was re-watching the original. Moana was kind of fun, though I thought the songs sucked. BF and I have also been re-watching the first season of True Detective, which of course is amazing, and I’ve been re-watching all of Pretty Little Liars. 

- Food-wise, I’ve been enjoying Halo clementines, though they also are the culprit behind some bad heartburn episodes. I like to keep mine in the fridge after they ripen a bit, because there is nothing better than a cold orange of any kind. I also picked up these Gatorade 32 oz water bottles, which are probably the best water bottle I’ve ever used: They’re spill proof but easy to drink from, you can unscrew the top to add ice, and they’re cheap enough that replacing is easy! 

xoxo

[junker-town]

Why The Open is the best major championship in golf

There's nothing in golf like The Open. Here's why the 146th edition at Royal Birkdale will be special and worth watching again.

Every major championship has its own identity, but none is stronger than the oldest in golf, The Open. The easy and popular choice for "favorite major" is the Masters. The event at Augusta National has marketed itself perfectly and elevated its importance in what is a relatively short history compared to the other majors. I prefer The Open.

For several reasons -- the identity, how it stands so apart from every other tournament of the season, my own personal interaction and memories -- this is the championship that resonates most with me. I get up for it more than any other major. Here are some of the ways it's the best, most entertaining major in golf.

1. Links weather

It can get a little monotonous for the American golf fan. Sure, there are occasional seaside venues and many courses have a signature hole or quirk. But there are certainly months-long stretches with little variety.

The Open's great appeal is that it presents the players and audience with such a dramatically different venue and style of golf. There's an increased level of creativity often required to succeed -- we've seen Tiger win without every taking his driver out of the bag, we've seen unknown Todd Hamilton win using a damn hybrid to bump-and-run his way around the links, and we see winning scores that run the gamut. Last year's runaway duel between Phil Mickelson and Henrik Stenson left us with a winning score at 20-under. This year, at Royal Birkdale, if the wind blows as expected, the winning number may be over-par. It was 3-over the last time the Open visited this spot in the rota, Paddy Harrington's 2008 win.

It's just a totally different style of golf and the weather can change it all from day to day, morning to afternoon and hole to hole. Sure, the big hitters and bombers often still have the advantage that they enjoy at many of the other venues on the season schedule. But at least they have to think about it some more, adapt different parts of their games and get creative at times. There are *options* on almost every shot, especially up around the green.

Many of the courses on The Open rotation have been lengthened, like all the other championship tracks across the world. But these venues still look the same -- you know immediately that you're at The Open. Links golf through the weather is the defining characteristic of an Open Championship and it's rewarding to dive right in for one all-important week each year.

2. Middle-of-the-night golf

Again, a unique aspect of The Open that is part of its charm but would be quite miserable if it went on for more than one week per year. BUT ... it's just one week, so suck it up and embrace the glorious blessing of middle-of-the-night golf. Getting up in the middle of the night to watch every hour of The Open broadcast once let me witness the greatest player-caddie interaction of all time.

The Phil-Bones dynamic made this job more fun. Maybe my favorite Vine ever from '14 Open. #RIPPhil&Bones #RIPVine http://pic.twitter.com/bCsV8VJiWk

— Brendan Porath (@BrendanPorath) June 20, 2017

You never know what you might get as the rest of your house presumably sleeps. It's a fun party -- social media starts to stir, you know who's up and around and ready to plow through a 14-hour march.

In recent years, ESPN would come on the air around 4 a.m. for the first two rounds. This year, however, Golf Channel and NBC are back again and will run a 50-hour broadcast from the very first tee shot until the conclusion on Sunday afternoon. So we'll do it live dammit! starting around 1:30 a.m. ET on Thursday. You now need to get up three hours earlier than you used to.

Whatever your preferred method is for getting through it -- crashing early Wednesday, or just going out for a late dinner, then staying out and powering through until Thursday afternoon -- make the effort. It's just one week and it becomes a fun personal tradition.

3. The 18th

Fewer and fewer things in golf really get the emotions running high -- so much of it is produced and forced. But the scene at the 18th of The Open never fails. Like so much with the oldest major in golf, it's because you know exactly what you're getting there. The courses may change but the R&A creates an ideal theater at the 18th each year. The only difference, really, is the clubhouse, which serves as a "back wall" -- this year it's Birkdale's quirky stone white Art Deco thingy.

Grandstands go deep up the fairway from the area around the green, creating a tunnel of sorts. They also always look the same -- a similar arrangement with the blue-and-yellow scoreboards lording over the scene. It's a tradition and it looks inspiring even empty before Sunday...

Beautiful view of the 18th coming in at Royal Birkdale this evening. Perfect #Birkdale http://pic.twitter.com/Vnnbfpjbs3

— JustinBuckthorp, MSc (@JustinBuckthorp) July 10, 2017

... and then completely chilling when that Sunday comes and the crowds envelope the final group walking up to the green.

"It's the greatest walk in golf."http://pic.twitter.com/rk1I6xN1i7

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) July 18, 2017

Every major is going to put up a grandstand at its final hole, but no one sets the scene and does it with such a traditionally consistent look like The Open.

A major championship may not always produce the sexiest winner, but whomever makes that walk up the 18th at Royal Birkdale on Sunday will be gripping to watch.

4. The starter

Only at the Open Championship does a 156-player field all go off the same tee for all four rounds. It's just not possible at the U.S. Open or PGA Championship, where they send the full field in groups of three off both the 1st and 10th tees.

At The Open, however, it often stays light out way past 9 p.m. and sometimes pushing 10:30 or so when it's north in Scotland. They start the first and second rounds at 6:30 a.m., and just run everyone off the first tee for almost 11 hours until just after 4 p.m.

Standing guard at the 1st tee for the entire 11 hours, never taking a bathroom break, was always Ivor Robson, the iconic Open starter. Mr. Robson retired two years ago at St. Andrews, so we no longer have his incredibly unique and amusing voice at the start of every single round.

It will take a generation for someone to have the built-in familiarity that Robson had. David Lancaster got the call for the impossible task of replacing Robson last year, and he didn't fly solo, unmoved for 11 hours like the great Ivor, but rather had occasional support from a second chair.

5. Pot bunkers

Bunkers, or sand traps if you're so inclined, aren't what they used to be. They're often not that penal for the best in the world, who sometimes even prefer that the ball go in a bunker for an easier up-and-down. At The Open, however, you can count on carnage. The pot bunkers are another tradition that make the golf of The Open so different from what we're used to, and it's fun to watch the best be challenged. Many of these might as well be hazards.

Steve Flynn-USA TODAY Sports

6. Gorse

A word that's really only used, and used constantly, at The Open. It's junk, schmutz, jail, death. These are the plants so thick that once your ball goes off line and lands in them, you'll have trouble just finding it. Playing it and making a swing is not really an option. So much like the bunkers, these are unofficial hazards. You don't need ponds and lakes everywhere to force big numbers on a scorecard.

The gorse can also add to the legend, as it did at Royal Birkdale, where a plaque commemorates a recovery shot by Arnold Palmer that helped him win the 1961 Open Championship. Palmer, who always went for it, decided to play from the stuff and the plaque reads a "hugely powerful swing uprooted the bush and placed the ball on the green." Palmer coming across to play The Open, and then winning it, gave the championship an enormous and greatly needed boost that brought it into the modern era, especially for an American audience.

7. The outfits

Your browser does not support iframes.

Yeahhh, the outfits from past decades at the other majors look questionable and can be jolting in retrospect. But the players tend to get a little more creative at The Open, going for some amalgam of modern and edgy gear that's also a nod to the history in the home of golf. This was Rory McIlroy's getup in 2007 -- not some mid-70s tournament, although there's an overflowing library of those, too. A mock turtle, deep V sweater and white pants.

The weather always forces the players to layer up and all the #brands want to display their best, most innovative or iconoclastic stuff. What you get is a four-day adventure in style.

8. The Claret Jug

I am biased. If you've read this far, you understand that I love almost everything about the way The Open stands out from the others. So I am sure there will be some objections in some quarters ... buuuut the Claret Jug is the best trophy in sports. There are only one or two active trophies that are older, and it's the oldest in golf. There's nothing incredibly ostentatious about it. It's relatively small, has an actual utilitarian purpose and is the most sought-after trophy in the game. The presentation of the jug, as the R&A chief drones "champion golfer of the year," is another goosebumps moment at the end of this event.

You can have your green jacket. I want to put $40,000 bottles of wine in my jug like Phil Mickelson.

* * *

There are so many little touches that separate The Open from every other event in golf. A first tee start or a logo or a trophy all taking individually seem minor and unnoticeable. But the combination of all these differences and touches make The Open what it is, and that's the best major in golf. The course, the players, the time of day, the broadcast, the history ... there are so many things, both subtle and conspicuous, that make up a major's identity. The combination at the modern-day Open make it the most fun in golf.

[junker-town]

Why The Open is the best major championship in golf

There's nothing in golf like The Open. Here's why the 146th edition at Royal Birkdale will be special and worth watching again.

Every major championship has its own identity, but none is stronger than the oldest in golf, The Open. The easy and popular choice for "favorite major" is the Masters. The event at Augusta National has marketed itself perfectly and elevated its importance in what is a relatively short history compared to the other majors. I prefer The Open.

For several reasons -- the identity, how it stands so apart from every other tournament of the season, my own personal interaction and memories -- this is the championship that resonates most with me. I get up for it more than any other major. Here are some of the ways it's the best, most entertaining major in golf.

1. Links weather

It can get a little monotonous for the American golf fan. Sure, there are occasional seaside venues and many courses have a signature hole or quirk. But there are certainly months-long stretches with little variety.

The Open's great appeal is that it presents the players and audience with such a dramatically different venue and style of golf. There's an increased level of creativity often required to succeed -- we've seen Tiger win without every taking his driver out of the bag, we've seen unknown Todd Hamilton win using a damn hybrid to bump-and-run his way around the links, and we see winning scores that run the gamut. Last year's runaway duel between Phil Mickelson and Henrik Stenson left us with a winning score at 20-under. This year, at Royal Birkdale, if the wind blows as expected, the winning number may be over-par. It was 3-over the last time the Open visited this spot in the rota, Paddy Harrington's 2008 win.

It's just a totally different style of golf and the weather can change it all from day to day, morning to afternoon and hole to hole. Sure, the big hitters and bombers often still have the advantage that they enjoy at many of the other venues on the season schedule. But at least they have to think about it some more, adapt different parts of their games and get creative at times. There are *options* on almost every shot, especially up around the green.

Many of the courses on The Open rotation have been lengthened, like all the other championship tracks across the world. But these venues still look the same -- you know immediately that you're at The Open. Links golf through the weather is the defining characteristic of an Open Championship and it's rewarding to dive right in for one all-important week each year.

2. Middle-of-the-night golf

Again, a unique aspect of The Open that is part of its charm but would be quite miserable if it went on for more than one week per year. BUT ... it's just one week, so suck it up and embrace the glorious blessing of middle-of-the-night golf. Getting up in the middle of the night to watch every hour of The Open broadcast once let me witness the greatest player-caddie interaction of all time.

The Phil-Bones dynamic made this job more fun. Maybe my favorite Vine ever from '14 Open. #RIPPhil&Bones #RIPVine http://pic.twitter.com/bCsV8VJiWk

— Brendan Porath (@BrendanPorath) June 20, 2017

You never know what you might get as the rest of your house presumably sleeps. It's a fun party -- social media starts to stir, you know who's up and around and ready to plow through a 14-hour march.

In recent years, ESPN would come on the air around 4 a.m. for the first two rounds. This year, however, Golf Channel and NBC are back again and will run a 50-hour broadcast from the very first tee shot until the conclusion on Sunday afternoon. So we'll do it live dammit! starting around 1:30 a.m. ET on Thursday. You now need to get up three hours earlier than you used to.

Whatever your preferred method is for getting through it -- crashing early Wednesday, or just going out for a late dinner, then staying out and powering through until Thursday afternoon -- make the effort. It's just one week and it becomes a fun personal tradition.

3. The 18th

Fewer and fewer things in golf really get the emotions running high -- so much of it is produced and forced. But the scene at the 18th of The Open never fails. Like so much with the oldest major in golf, it's because you know exactly what you're getting there. The courses may change but the R&A creates an ideal theater at the 18th each year. The only difference, really, is the clubhouse, which serves as a "back wall" -- this year it's Birkdale's quirky stone white Art Deco thingy.

Grandstands go deep up the fairway from the area around the green, creating a tunnel of sorts. They also always look the same -- a similar arrangement with the blue-and-yellow scoreboards lording over the scene. It's a tradition and it looks inspiring even empty before Sunday...

Beautiful view of the 18th coming in at Royal Birkdale this evening. Perfect #Birkdale http://pic.twitter.com/Vnnbfpjbs3

— JustinBuckthorp, MSc (@JustinBuckthorp) July 10, 2017

... and then completely chilling when that Sunday comes and the crowds envelope the final group walking up to the green.

Every major is going to put up a grandstand at its final hole, but no one sets the scene and does it with such a traditionally consistent look like The Open.

A major championship may not always produce the sexiest winner, but whomever makes that walk up the 18th at Royal Birkdale on Sunday will be gripping to watch.

4. The starter

Only at the Open Championship does a 156-player field all go off the same tee for all four rounds. It's just not possible at the U.S. Open or PGA Championship, where they send the full field in groups of three off both the 1st and 10th tees.

At The Open, however, it often stays light out way past 9 p.m. and sometimes pushing 10:30 or so when it's north in Scotland. They start the first and second rounds at 6:30 a.m., and just run everyone off the first tee for almost 11 hours until just after 4 p.m.

Standing guard at the 1st tee for the entire 11 hours, never taking a bathroom break, was always Ivor Robson, the iconic Open starter. Mr. Robson retired two years ago at St. Andrews, so we no longer have his incredibly unique and amusing voice at the start of every single round.

It will take a generation for someone to have the built-in familiarity that Robson had. David Lancaster got the call for the impossible task of replacing Robson last year, and he didn't fly solo, unmoved for 11 hours like the great Ivor, but rather had occasional support from a second chair.

5. Pot bunkers

Bunkers, or sand traps if you're so inclined, aren't what they used to be. They're often not that penal for the best in the world, who sometimes even prefer that the ball go in a bunker for an easier up-and-down. At The Open, however, you can count on carnage. The pot bunkers are another tradition that make the golf of The Open so different from what we're used to, and it's fun to watch the best be challenged. Many of these might as well be hazards.

Steve Flynn-USA TODAY Sports

6. Gorse

A word that's really only used, and used constantly, at The Open. It's junk, schmutz, jail, death. These are the plants so thick that once your ball goes off line and lands in them, you'll have trouble just finding it. Playing it and making a swing is not really an option. So much like the bunkers, these are unofficial hazards. You don't need ponds and lakes everywhere to force big numbers on a scorecard.

The gorse can also add to the legend, as it did at Royal Birkdale, where a plaque commemorates a recovery shot by Arnold Palmer that helped him win the 1961 Open Championship. Palmer, who always went for it, decided to play from the stuff and the plaque reads a "hugely powerful swing uprooted the bush and placed the ball on the green." Palmer coming across to play The Open, and then winning it, gave the championship an enormous and greatly needed boost that brought it into the modern era, especially for an American audience.

7. The outfits

Your browser does not support iframes.

Yeahhh, the outfits from past decades at the other majors look questionable and can be jolting in retrospect. But the players tend to get a little more creative at The Open, going for some amalgam of modern and edgy gear that's also a nod to the history in the home of golf. This was Rory McIlroy's getup in 2007 -- not some mid-70s tournament, although there's an overflowing library of those, too. A mock turtle, deep V sweater and white pants.

The weather always forces the players to layer up and all the #brands want to display their best, most innovative or iconoclastic stuff. What you get is a four-day adventure in style.

8. The Claret Jug

I am biased. If you've read this far, you understand that I love almost everything about the way The Open stands out from the others. So I am sure there will be some objections in some quarters ... buuuut the Claret Jug is the best trophy in sports. There are only one or two active trophies that are older, and it's the oldest in golf. There's nothing incredibly ostentatious about it. It's relatively small, has an actual utilitarian purpose and is the most sought-after trophy in the game. The presentation of the jug, as the R&A chief drones "champion golfer of the year," is another goosebumps moment at the end of this event.

You can have your green jacket. I want to put $40,000 bottles of wine in my jug like Phil Mickelson.

* * *

The course, the players, the time of day, the broadcast, the history ... there are so many things, both subtle and conspicuous, that make up a major's identity. The combination at the modern-day Open make it the most fun in golf.