#that being said. the matty healy stuff is fucked up!

[uselessnocturnal]

you’re losing me lyrics that are shaking me to the core kinda

“i wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her”

“how can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dying?”

“i’m getting tired even for a phoenix”

“how long could we be a sad song ‘til we were too far gone to bring back to life?”

[wreckedandpolemic]

forgive me? - matty healy

prompt: lovers' quarrel

(mdni) and we continue ahead with valentine75!! ok pls do not look too closely at the argument here i suck so hard at angst i cant even half ass it as a setup for porn lol

warnings: oral (f receiving), hand stuff, idk there isn't huge amounts to this

The silence in your flat is deafening, stretching between you and Matty like a chasm, your anger welling so deeply at the bottom that you want to drown him in it.

“I’m sorry?” he ventures, and you whip around to face him. The sheepish grin he wears is, admittedly, distractingly adorable; usually, it’s enough to melt you at least a little, but this time you can barely see it through your blinding anger.

You scoff. “You’re sorry, huh? Oh, well, I guess that makes it totally fucking fine, then!” You kick off your shoes with more force than necessary, sending your expensive heels skittering across the floor. “Tonight was important to me, do you even realise that? Are you so up your own arse that you think everyone wants to be on the Matty show twenty-four seven, or do you just not care?” A sense of sick satisfaction spreads as he processes your words, expression crumbling for a split-second and reforming into a sharp sort of anger that warns that Matty isn’t going to make this easy for you.

Which suits you just fine. You’ve never been one for an easy win. Never been much for losing, either. You fold your arms as Matty rounds on you. “I’m up my own arse? That’s fuckin’ rich, comin’ from you, treatin’ me like a fuckin’ toddler all night!” He’s gesticulating wildly, accent thickening through his frustration, and it takes a tremendous amount of your self-control not to laugh. “Matty, don’t touch that. Matty, don’t talk to him. Matty, come back here.” He puts on an affectation of your voice and accent that’s equal parts insulting and hilarious, and you’re lucky he doesn’t pick up on your quiet snort of laughter. “You actually said come back here! Like I’m a damn dog!”

“Dog would’ve been better behaved, probably,” you mutter. “Wouldn’t have got belligerently drunk and accosted the press, either.” Matty steps closer, breathing hard, tongue darting out to wet his lips tantalisingly. Your traitorous eyes flicker down to his mouth, soft and pink and wet and tempting, and it’s a mission to haul your mind back on track.

“I didn’t fucking ‘accost’ anyone. I told them to get the fucking cameras out of my face, ‘cos I wasn’t gonna give them a fuckin’ story at your fuckin’ event.” Matty defends, and, okay, the sentiment is there, but he had just made everything endlessly worse.

Groaning, you bury your head in your hands. “I told you. I fucking asked you, one time, just nod your head, smile, say you’re proud of me. Was that so fucking hard for you?” You hadn’t meant to admit that part. That it stung not to have his approval.

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Matty snaps. “Of course I’m fucking proud of you. You’re a fucking star. Just wish you weren’t so embarrassed of me,” he adds, and whatever part of your anger that had crumbled at first sharpens in your chest again at his attempt to guilt-trip you.

He’s not being fair — of course you’re not embarrassed by him, but his behaviour fucking embarrassed you! “You told a fucking crowd of journalists that Jamie, who I have been on a fucking months-long press tour with, and I quote, ‘acts like a massive wanker.’ And he fucking heard you!”

Matty shrugs. “Well, he does. Don’t like the way he talks to you. Could’ve called him a rude cunt, too. Would’ve been even more true.” he mutters sullenly, scowling at the ground.

“God, Matty, you are so— mmph!” You’re cut off by him surging forward, crushing your lips together in a bruising kiss. You pull his lower lip into your mouth and bite down on it, iron spilling over your tongue as the skin tears beneath your teeth. After a long, indulgent moment, you force yourself to shove him away, gasping. “You never fucking listen! You can’t just kiss me ‘cause you don’t wanna hear it,” you snap, pushing down the heat that wells instinctively between your legs.

He’s flushed, breathing hard, unfairly gorgeous like this. “You look so pretty when you’re mad, baby,” he murmurs, tucking a wisp of hair behind your ear, the gentle touch making you shudder. He’s a master at this; resolving your arguments with doe-eyed pouts and wet, needy kisses.

Your resolve is crumbling. “Matty, don’t,” you warn feebly, lust spinning dizzily in your mind and swelling until your rational thoughts are dissolved. Matty grins, predatory — he has you pinned, and he knows it.

”My pretty girl,” he murmurs against your lips. “My little star. Forgive me?” His eyes are wide, faux-innocence shining down at you as your last thread of self-control breaks. It isn’t lost on you that he hasn’t actually apologised, but as his lips press against yours and his tongue sweeps into your mouth, you can’t remember why you care.

His mouth doesn’t leave yours as he walks you to the sofa. Your stomach swoops as he pushes you down, desire thrumming in your veins. Every last thought falls out of your head as it knocks against the armrest, your back arching up towards him. “C’monn,” you whine, reaching out to him where he stands above you, his gaze hot as it roams eagerly across your skin.

Matty climbs over you, adjusting your legs so he can kneel between them, goosebumps breaking out where he slides a hand up your thigh, agonisingly close to where you need it. “Lift your hips for me, love,” he instructs, sliding your dress up your body until a puddle of satin pools around your waist, cool and slick against your heated skin. His warm fingers crook around your panties and he drags them down your legs, exposing your dripping cunt. A soft moan escapes you as he rubs a slow circle into your clit, pressing a gentle kiss to your inner thigh. “So much better than fighting, hm?” he teases, and a flash of annoyance cuts through the lust as you remember exactly how you got into this position.

”Don’t push it,” you hiss, raking a hand through his curls and tugging harshly. He whimpers deliciously against your skin, a pulse of heat spiking deep in your bones. “I’m still mad at you,” you warn, searching your rapidly-blurring mind for your long-foregone anger.

“So take it out on me,” he murmurs, eyes fixed on your cunt, your body tingling under his gaze.

”What?” Your mind is already hazy, the sight of his head low between your thighs infinitely distracting, the promise of his tongue unfathomably tempting.

“I’m going to put my mouth on your sweet little pussy, and I’m going to listen to everything you have to say until you come. Call me names, if you want. Tell me everything I’ve ever done in my life that’s fucked you off, and I won’t say a word.” It’s such a Matty way of resolving an argument that you can’t find a response. “You get to yell at me and you get to get off. Pretty good deal if you ask me.” Matty’s smirk splashes you with a bucket of cold water, latent frustration blooming under your skin — a sudden need to slap the smugness off his face overtakes you.

You beckon him, waiting until his eyes are closed and his lips are parted, a gentle breath brushing against your mouth. He relaxes, expecting a kiss, expecting to be off the hook, and you crack a hand hard across his cheek with a grin. “God, that felt good,” you say as he recoils, rolling your eyes theatrically at his punched-out moan. “Such a fucking slut. Put your mouth to better use before I change my mind.” He shouldn’t make it so easy for you to take back the upper hand.

It’s almost comical how quickly his tongue is buried inside you, a thick pulse of heat sent kicking in your cunt. Unwilling to give him the satisfaction, you swallow a moan as you bury a hand in his curls. “Wish I could fuck your pretty mouth. Shut you up proper for once.” Matty moans into your cunt, the sound deliciously gratifying as it vibrates through you. “That’s your problem, you know,” you continue, the effort of keeping your voice level monumental against the waves of pleasure rising inside you. “You never fucking shut up. You’re— mmh, so fucking arrogant. You act like— ah!” His teeth scrape over your clit and you cry out, grinding your hips against his face as heat throbs sharply under your skin.

”Go on,” he says, grinning up at you with wet, slick lips. He hisses as you yank his curls harshly, dragging his mouth back to your cunt. He licks at you like a starving man, heat pooling in your belly, your limbs trembling and toes curling.

”You act like the fucking world revolves around you,” you continue, struggling to drag the words to the forefront of your soupy mind. “You’re so fucking— God, Matty, fuck!” you whimper, the rest of your sentence lost in the mind-numbing pleasure swirling through you. Matty isn’t playing fair, licking and sucking and kissing at you sweetly, your world blurring around him.

He pulls away and quirks an eyebrow at you, like he’s waiting for your surrender. As fucking if. You take a moment to catch your breath, fingers digging into the edge of the sofa to anchor yourself before he dips his head again, licking a broad stripe along your cunt that makes you whine pathetically at him. “You’re ridiculously pretentious,” you bite out, gasping as his tongue fucks into you in an obscene, glorious rhythm. Ecstasy coils in your limbs, your body heavy at the edge of oblivion. “Disrespectful. And you just. Don’t. Fucking. Listen.” You punctuate your last words rocking your hips against his face, your cunt fluttering around his tongue.

Matty presses wet kisses to your thighs, sweet and teasing as you whine. “Are you done?”

“Repeat it back to me,” you order as he licks his lips, framed prettily by the V of your legs. “So I know you were listening.”

“I’m irresponsible.” He kisses your inner thigh. “Arrogant. Inappropriate at the worst times.” He licks at your clit and you buck your hips against his face, fighting to hold at bay the flood of heat waiting to overwhelm you. “The people you work with think I’m white trash.”

You fist a hand in his curls, tugging hard enough that you feel him hiss in pain against your skin. “Don’t be a smartarse.”

You can sense that he’s about to argue, but thinks better of it at the last second. “I’m pretentious. Disrespectful,” he continues. “And I just.” He laps at your clit. “Don’t.” Heat floods your body as Matty slides two fingers into your sopping cunt and crooks them at an angle that has molten pleasure spilling over you. “Listen.” He sucks gently on your swollen clit, the pleasure enough to pull you over the edge, ecstasy coiling deliciously around your insides. You whimper, grinding down against his face as you come, your cunt fluttering around Matty’s tongue.

You sigh contentedly. “Good boy,” you murmur, savouring his shudder. “So good when your mouth’s full of my cunt. Like you so much better when you’re not talking.”

Matty looks up, eyes wide and face soaked with you. “Forgive me?” he asks, wearing the same sheepish grin that had failed to sway you before.

You sigh dramatically, the seeds of an idea taking shape in your mind. “Come here,” you say, a fond smile tugging at your lips. It’s a struggle to keep it from turning cruel as he takes the bait. “Silly boy.” Eagerly, Matty climbs over you, cupping your jaw and pressing his lips to yours, gently at first, turning hungry as you swallow down the taste of yourself. He moans into your mouth, grinding his clothed cock against your sensitive core. “Needy, are you?” you tease, a faint edge of danger lacing your tone. “Want me to get you off?” Glassy-eyed, he nods down at you, sweet and pleading. “Use your words.”

He swallows thickly, blinking hard. “Want you to make me cum,” Matty murmurs, casting his eyes down like he’s ashamed. You raise an eyebrow when his gaze lands back on your face, and he adds a reluctant, “Please.”

Sliding out from under him, you lead him into your bedroom, laughing derisively as he strips out of his jeans and boxers before the door even shuts. “God, you’re pathetic,” you scoff, smirking as his eager expression falters slightly with the realisation you haven’t let him off the hook.

“Mhmm,” Matty agrees, switching tack and plying you with sweet doe eyes.

“Get on the bed,” you order, kneeling in his lap when he obeys. His hands wander to the hem of your dress, brushing over your thighs as he starts to lift it, and you swat him away. “Think you deserve to fuck me after the way you acted today?” You glare down at him, pulling at his hair to tip his head up towards you. After a long moment, his internal war clear on his face, Matty shakes his head mutely. “No. But you’re being good now, so…”

Matty inhales sharply when you wrap your hand around his cock, flushed and sticky with want. You pump him slowly, spreading precum over him, and he trembles with the effort of holding himself still, sweetly pliant under your hand. “Thank you,” he mumbles, swallowing thickly.

You lean down to press your lips against his, swallowing his needy, suppressed moans. “It’s okay, baby. Being so good. Can fuck my hand if you need to.” You’re being cruel, now, knowing how you’re going to leave him, but it’s sickly thrilling having him in your power like this.

Murmured thanks fall from his lips between sweet little whines, his hips bucking into your fist as his cock leaks over your skin. Languidly, you press your tongue into his mouth, trading long, sloppy kisses broken up by Matty’s pleasured moans.

Taking Matty apart under your skilled hands is easy, now; you’re practised in everything he likes. You dig your thumb into his slit, twist your wrist just so, swallow every sweet noise he makes. His body tenses, his groans deepening, turning rhythmic, signalling his orgasm. You let him chase his release up until the very last second, pulling away and smirking meanly down at him.

Confusion clouds across Matty’s face as he looks up at you, reeling from his ruined orgasm as if you’ve slapped him. You let him catch his breath before you take him in your hand again, working over him, pulling him to the edge again. “Do you have anything to say, baby?”

Matty’s mouth falls open, the struggle to pull any meaning from your words plain on his face. “Please?” he tries, face falling when you shake your head, a moan escaping him as you flick your thumb over his slit. “Thank you,” he mumbles thickly. “I love you.”

You cock your head, appraising him. “That’s nice. But not quite. Try to think a little bit harder, yeah? I know that’s tough when I’ve got you all stupid for me, but try,” you croon, tone sympathetic and deriding all at once.

Matty’s face scrunches in concentration. “‘M sorry!” he chokes out, whining when you press a kiss to the head of his cock.

“That’s it,” you breathe, kissing him softly in reward. “Good boy.” Arousal coils in your belly at the sight of him, breaking into a thoughtless mess under your hands. You stroke over his cock a few times more, watching his stomach tense and relax as his orgasm builds. Then you stop, letting him whine desperately into your mouth.

He hasn’t wised to your game, still hopeful through his lust-hazy gaze. “You embarrassed me today,” you chide. “Why?” You dip your head, lapping over the tip of his cock, letting him thrust into your mouth, a spit trail connecting your skin for a brief moment. You kiss the salt of him back into his mouth, devouring his desperate moans as you stroke him. “I asked you a question,” you murmur against his lips.

There’s an answer forming on his tongue, you can see, watching him struggle to swallow it down. You pull away, lifting your hand to lap the taste of him off your fingers, giving an exaggerated moan. Matty whimpers, desperate, hips rocking against nothing as you batter against his defences. A burst of pleasure licks up your spine when you drag your fingers through your still-soaked cunt. Matty’s answering moan as you wrap your wet fingers around his cock is nothing short of pathetic, low and thick with lust. Clicking your tongue disapprovingly, you repeat your question, the ensuing silence thick with the unsaid. You know the answer, but it’s no fun not to pry it out of him. “I was jealous, okay!” he gasps out. 

He won’t meet your eyes, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Aw, I know,” you croon sympathetically. Your touches turn tender, coaxing. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t need to be jealous. Don’t want anyone but you. I’m yours, yeah?” you promise, lifting his head to deliver your words into his shadowed eyes.

“Mine,” he echoes faintly, rolling his hips up into your hand and whining. Your thighs clench at his possessive tone; you love being his, being the only one who gets to have him like this. “Gonna cum, fuck, please let me cum, fuck!” The last syllable crumbles into a sob as you pull away, ruining him for the final time. “‘M sorry, ‘M sorry, please let me cum,” he whimpers, so sweetly pathetic that you almost want to let him cum.

Almost. Matty’s chest heaves, struggling for breath and sanity as you climb off him, smoothing your dress down nonchalantly. Pouting down at him, you click your tongue condescendingly. “Poor baby. You don’t get to cum tonight, okay? How are you gonna learn a lesson if I give you what you want now?”

He gasps, chokes, twitching as he fights to stay still. “Please?” he murmurs, so quiet that you aren’t sure whether he’s addressing it to you or subconsciously voicing his need.

Either way, you shake your head at him with a shrug. “Get control of yourself and we can watch a movie, yeah?”

Matty gives a shuddering nod as you turn to leave, squaring your shoulders so you don’t look back at him.

After a few minutes, Matty slopes into the living room, dressed but still looking fucked-out, hair wild and eyes downcast. You rest your head in his lap when he comes to sit beside you, smiling blithely and uncaringly up at him.

“Are you still mad?” he ventures, petting your hair tentatively.

“Depends,” you answer, feeling his body tense at your words “Are you gonna pull that shit again?”

“No,” he replies without hesitation, shuddering at the thought of what you just put him through

“Then no,” you grin, and Matty relaxes under you. “But you still don’t get to cum,” you can’t resist adding.

He pouts down at you, but his eyes are shining with mischief, any lingering tension fully faded now. “Can I make you come again, then?”

Sitting up, you climb into his lap and kiss him for a long, luxurious moment, heat swelling between you as his tongue slides against yours. “Say please.”

[toomuchracket]

seeing as how flatmate girlie is a lawyer, do you think she helped/helps in the malaysia case? i can imagine her scolding matty, then hugging him cause she’s still so shaken up by him being briefly imprisoned and stuff.

well, your idiot husband didn't actually bother to TELL you he was gonna stage a political protest onstage (likely because you would've said Respect but also Maybe Don't), so after the initial "oh i'm proud of him" (and "right macdonald back tf off") your first reaction is one of slight terror - there's a very real possibility that matty could get put in prison and leave you by yourself with two little babies, and until he phones you HOURS after the show ends to be like "i'm okay, darling, i'm alright" you literally hug dylan and elena tight and pray to whatever may or may not exist that your husband and your friends get home safely. of course, matty gets a big hug and a kiss when he gets home, and then he gets a BOLLOCKING; like, you literally send the girls to george's so they won't hear you shout and swear at their father for being a "fucking IDIOT, matthew, that's a criminal offence there! jesus. i so understand why you did it, but fuck me would it have hurt you to think of the consequences?" and also the subsequent "i love you i love you i love you" emotionally charged sex that followed lol. and when the case against them arrives, you don't work on it as such, a) because conflict of interest and b) "because it's fucking stupid of them to be filing anyway", but you do look over it and advise - very you writing in the margins like "no relevance to case" when they made a point of mentioning matty's history with addiction, and making notes for a defence like "demand proof of why the rest of the festival had to be cancelled - no apparent reasoning nor relevance for this" and "defendants, namely mr healy, have a particular history of making political statements (e.g. dubai kiss/abortion ban speech) and indulging in reckless behaviours with potential negative implications to selves (e.g. health risk due to raw meat) onstage. this was known to festival organisation and management teams, and there is no proof to suggest these teams requested the defendants prohibit such behaviours during the event" and "with regards to drone - a/v footage shows defendants felt threatened by machinery and asked repeatedly for this to be removed. as such, destruction could and should be determined as self-defence". matty is so impressed ("you are so smart and hot i love you") and very grateful for this, and you're grumpy like "still think it's fucking stupid i'm only doing it so they don't win the case and we have to sell the house. i've only just gotten the kitchen how i want it" lmfaooo. but yes! you're glad he's ok, obv <3

[graciegoeskrazy]

“and i do make art ty very much”

Matty Healy x Teen!Daughter!reader + lil bit of george

a/n: random thought the popped in my head. enjoy this cute lil blurb :)

As soon as you walked in the door you were expecting to follow your usual routine - burst through the door announcing your presence, grab a snack, tell your dad all the details and mundane facts about your day, then go upstairs and hide for awhile until your dad yells at you to do your homework or makes you come downstairs to get dinner. Today, however, that didn't exactly go to plan.

“I’m Home!” You said, but instead of being greeted my your dad or uncles, you were met with silence. “Hello?”

Nothing.

“Dad? George? You here?” You didn't worry and just headed up to your room deciding to shoot a text to your dad to make sure he wasn't dead. Before you could hit send though, you found your father when you walked into your room.

“Jeez! You scared me!” You yelled.

Instead of a ‘sorry’ or ‘oh my bad’ he kept a straight face when asked, “What’s this?”

It took you a second to register exactly what he was worrying about, but eventually you realized it was your journal. Like your father, you kept at least 2 journals going at the same time. You however had 3. One for your usual ‘dear diary, blah blah blah’, one for the stuff your therapist makes you write, and another for the lyrics and poems you jot down in your spare time. And that just so happened to be the one your father held in his hands.

“Something you weren’t supposed to find.” You shyly replied.

You weren't mad at your father one bit. You tell him everything anyways, it’s like there isnt even a need for a diary because he a human version of one. Filled with all the knowledge of your hopes, dreams, stupid habits, and crushes. This, however, happened to be one of the rare things you kept from your father.

He looked at the pages again, “When did you make this?”

You quickly diverted the conversation. “Why are you going through my journal!?”

“I was cleaning.” He replied.

“You never clean.” You said, looking at him quizzically.

He shrugged and smiled. “You’re right. George told me you got high the other day and I was looking for drugs.”

“Ugh! That bitch!” You said, throwing your backpack on the ground.

“But screw that- this is really good! When did you make this?”

“That one was like a year ago? I don’t know.” You said crossing your arms, suddenly feeling a bit insecure.

“Can you stop reading my private feelings and thoughts please?” You tried to grab the book out of your dad's hands but he pulled it away before you had the chance.

“Is this one about your crush on June?” He said tauntingly.

“Dad!”

“Awe! You’re in love!”

You finally grabbed the book from him and held it tight to your chest.

“Why did you never tell me about this?” he asked.

“Because I didn't want to embarrass myself. Duh.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dad, you're a Grammy-nominated musician and I’m an angsty teenager who writes about teenage love. There’s a fine line and I don't want to embarrass myself by crossing it.”

“Darling, those were good! Hell, those are fucking great!”

“Thanks?”

After an awkward silence he continued.

“You should record those-”

“No-”

“It would be really good-”

“Get out-”

“I know some peopleeee.” He said smiling.

“Get out!”

He smiled and left the room, not before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

When he got downstairs, he was greeted by George in the kitchen. “What was happening up there?”

Matty got a drink from the fridge, “My baby is a songwriter.”

“Hm?” George asked.

“She wrote lyrics, George. And they're good too.”

George looked confused. Matty continued,

“We need to get those songs she wrote and make her record them.”

“Mate, you can’t force your daughter into the business.”

“Yeah, you’re right…”

“But I’m her uncle so it’s okay if I do it.”

Matty just laughed.

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole - Part 6: Inside Your Mind

A/n: Hi everyone :) just want to say thank you to everyone has read this series so far, the support means so much to me and its mad to think some of my fave writers on here think this series is good! crazy to me but thank you thank you thank you!

Hope you like this chapter :)

warnings: smut, mentions of drug abuse, addiction and rehab

over 5k words

Series Masterlist

Part 5

Their lips were on each other's again the moment they were in the hotel room, the drive to this particular hotel had been torture. She had been teasing him from the moment they got in the car, allowing her thighs to spread, dangerously close to flashing all of the boys in the back of the car. The usual tour bus wasn't needed for this seemingly short journey (one which felt far too long with how badly he wanted her)

Her lip was being abused by her teeth and he could see her nipples pressed against the "I hate Matty Healy" shirt she was wearing.

The boys kept teasing him too, commenting on the fact he seemed distracted by something. He was very much distracted: by the tanned flesh of her thighs, by the visible bruises scattered across her neck (of which he just needed to attach his mouth and maybe teeth too, darkening them further), by the fact that her underwear was stuffed into his back pocket, by her lips which were just begging to be kissed and sucked; by everything that was her.

But now they didn't have to hold back, they could simply show one another how badly they wanted each other.

"We should probably have those drinks with the boys like we said" she said as his lips drifted along her neck, down to her chest, pressing against her collar bones. The t-shirt she had been wearing had been thrown across the room as soon as they entered the threshold, as were his trousers, shirt and her skirt. She knew she didn't really mean her words but wanted to see what he said.

"They can wait, let me have you to myself for a bit" he says, lips not moving from her chest. He pulls against her bra, revealing the swell of her right breast.

"Fuck how are you so perfect. God I don't deserve you" he says, lips wrapping around her nipple, her hands fly to his hair as her head snaps back and she moans loudly.

"Can't believe I haven't seen all of you yet. Doesn't seem fair does it love?" He asks and she doesn't even know what he's saying, not really, but she's nodding against him. Now she thinks about it, whenever they've done stuff before, either one of them had been partly clothed, the thought of being completely bare in front of him has her feeling a bit nervous.

As if he could read her mind, his lips stop their ministrations as he looks her deeply in the eyes.

"You're so beautiful love. Unbelievably so. I'm the luckiest, you know that right?" He asks as he takes her hands in his, pressing kisses along each of her knuckles, it was sweet, a clear change from how they were acting earlier.

"And we don't have to do anything okay? Not if you don't want to. I'm just happy to have you here with me. But if you want to go join the guys that's fine" he explains as she pulls him into her for a soft kiss. She was growing to like this side of him, a side she was just learning about, one in which they had barely scratched the surface of.

"I want to, I want you" she says against his mouth, he doesn't speed up his movements, he simply holds her against him, his grasp firm but not harsh. His lips move softly against hers, tongue making languid movements against her own.

He slowly moves them to the bed, hands supporting her back as she fell against it with a soft thump. She knows now this was going to be different from before. And she felt anxious at the thought but was also excited to see a different side to Matty .

"Matty" she says, her voice hesitant.

"Tell me what's on your mind" he says softly, lips wandering to her neck where more soft kisses were placed. Her own hands ran down his bare back, over the muscles, sketching him out like a map, trying to memorise every curve, every bump and vein.

"I'm scared" she admits, her voice quiet. She didn't struggle to be sincere quite as much as Matty, but she always worried that her words (no matter how sincere) would be rejected, or laughed at, or worse denied.

"What are you scared of my love?" He asked. Her heart fluttered at the words "my" and she pulled him away from her neck to look at him. She didn't know whether to tell him the truth: tell him she was scared of all the feelings she was feeling, how quickly she was falling for him, how he didn't even have to say he was sorry anymore because she forgave him the minute he told her his true feelings. She didn't speak and he simply pressed another gentle kiss to her lips, trying to draw the words out of her.

"Nevermind, I'm being silly" she says and his eyebrows furrow.

"Don't do that love, don't push me away. Wish I could be in your mind right now, hear what you hear, all your thoughts and feelings" he says, lips pressing against her cheek.

"That's what scares me" she whispers, fingertips drifting along his skin, not managing to find his eyes, afraid she'll spill every single thought that was bouncing around her mind.

"What love?" His fingers find her chin, slowly lifting it so they're looking at each other again.

"Think you already know all that.... You seem to know what I'm thinking without me telling you" she says and he nods, because he felt like it was true.

"Truth is love. I hardly know you, not in the way I want to. Want to know everything there is to know, all your secrets, all the things you've never told anyone before.... Not G, not Ross... No one" he admits and her heart swells at the idea.

"I'd like that" she smiles up at him and he places another kiss on her lips.

The moment where they so desperately wanted each other seems to have passed, now replaced by one which was more special. One where they wanted to talk, about everything, and so they did, some things he already knew, things he had memorised during the time in which they 'hated each other'.

Like her coffee order, her favourite colour, her favourite flowers, her birthday, all sorts. She was surprised he remembered half of it, but the fact he had made her realise how much he truly did like her.

Matty told her everything she wanted to know too, like his favourite books, his favourite songs, stories about his childhood that she didn't get to witness. Some things he struggled to say but wanted to, like his experience with drugs and addiction.

"What's your favorite song?" He asked, something he was uncertain whether he knew.

"Hmm... Good question, what genre?" She asks making him laugh.

"Probably... Something by Fleetwood Mac. Hard to pick which, maybe Storms, Silver Springs, or Landslide" she explains and he smiles down at her. He notes in his head that they're pretty sad songs, songs about unrequited love. He wonders if that's the only love she knows, a question for another day he thinks.

"Wanna know my favourite song of yours?" She asks, hands pressing against his chest to properly look at him.

His nodding down at her, fingertips drifting along her back, the skin was warm under his touch. She had never spoken about their music to him and he was excited to know what she thought, having spent years writing songs and wanting nothing more than to pick her mind about them.

"Inside Your Mind" she asks and he smiles, a hidden meaning behind his smile.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" He asks, he couldn't wait to tell her the true meaning of the song.

"Think it's a beautiful song... Remember the day G showed it to me... Couldn't believe how beautiful it was... Remember thinking I wish someone wrote such beautiful things about me" she admits and his smile stretches wider.

"What?" She asks, wondering why he's smiling at her the way he is.

"I wrote it about you" he admits. Her breath catches and she pauses, eyes drifting over his features to see if he was taking the piss.

"What do you mean you wrote it about me?" She asks, shoving him slightly, testing whether he was being earnest.

"I wrote it about you... Remember the summer before the album was released? We spent most of the summer together... Well you with the boys more than me" he says and her mind flicks back to the memory.

George had begged her to go on holiday with them, it was one of the only times their busy schedules lined up. She remembers agreeing despite knowing Matty was going to be there. She was having a difficult time with a relationship and she wanted nothing more than to be with her best friends.

"We seemed to avoid each other the whole holiday though" she says and he smiles at the memory.

"You avoided me... I was watching your every move love. I remember it was one of the first times I really got to see you... Without all the arguing because we hardly spoke..." He admits, she allows him to just speak, not interrupting him.

"There was this one night... Don't know if you'd remember, you were quite drunk... To be fair I was high as a kite too... I remember all of it though" he laughs at the memory. She listens intently wanting to know what he's about to say.

"We were all sitting out on the patio of that house, remember the huge pool? You had your feet in the water and I remember wanting nothing more than to just go up to you and just talk, without all the arguing" she nods at this, she thinks she would've liked that.

"Anyway... You came and sat with us and we were drinking and we were all talking, it was the first time we actually properly spoke without being mean to each other. Remember you like... Squeezed in-between George and me and I was shocked I had you that close" she remembers it now and she can't help but smile at the huge smile that rests on his lips as he tells the story.

"think I remember you were particularly bearable that day so I was nice to you... Also I was high too" she smirks and he chuckles at her, pressing a kiss to her head.

"We all drank way too much and Hann forced G and Ross to go to bed, you didn't want to so you stayed" he says, she doesn't remember any of this and she feels bad.

"I thought you were going to leave because it was just us... But we spoke for quite a while" he says.

"About what?" She asks, genuinely curious as to what they would've spoken about back then.

"About all sorts: your tour, our tour, you told me about this coffee place you had found in New York, told me to visit it, you told me about some douche you were seeing at the time" she groans at the last part making him chuckle

"... And then you fell asleep on me... And I didn't wake you up because I just wanted to have you there forever" he admits and her eyes soften as she looks into them.

"I eventually took you up to your room and then wrote that song... That whole holiday I was trying to memorise everything about you, just in case I never got to see it again" he admits.

"It was the November after that holiday you-?" She goes to ask, stopping her words completely worried she was pressing on something he didn't want to talk about.

He knows what she's saying even though she doesn't say it and he nods, grasping her hand, placing a gentle kiss to the back of it, letting her know it was okay to talk about.

"Can I admit something to you? Without you... Despising me for it.." he asks and she nods.

"That summer... It made me realise how much I had fucked up... I knew I could've had you the way that the guys had you, if I was honest with you from the start... The idea of never having you kind of broke me" he admits, she frowns and she feels her heart hurt at his words.

"I always hoped that one day it would all fall into place. But you went on tour after that and I dunno... I missed you even though... Even though I didn't have you. And I kind of just... Broke" he admits, she frowns up at him. She felt like it was her fault and he's quickly pressing a firm kiss to her lips as he sees her features fall.

"Baby you had nothing to do with it. It was me... Me being stupid and selfish and getting myself into this fucking pit of misery... There was other stuff too, don't want you thinking it was all about you because it wasn't. I got to this point in my life where... I didn't like the person I saw in the mirror, the douche that had fucked up his life... And using, it just made all that go away" he says and she nods, still feeling awful for his confession. She appreciates him being honest and that overshadows his confession.

"In rehab... I kind of realised that I can either pine over you for the rest of my life... Or I can do something about it. Kind of had that realisation about a lot of things in my life. I just knew I had to fix my life and myself otherwise I risked losing all of you"

"Matty" she says softly, leaning forward to press her lips to his. Her eyes were tearing up now, and he felt a tear drop to his cheek making him pull away.

"Why are you crying love?" He asks, pulling her tightly into her chest. She knew now she didn't need to be scared about anything, he was her person. He always had been.

"I just know now. I know how you feel about me. You don't need to prove anything Matty... That- that song, that story, it's everything I need to know" she says, pushing herself away from his embrace to look at him.

"Would you be mad if I said I wanted to prove it?" He says making her laugh.

"Of course not" she says, pulling him into a hug now. In fact she loves that he still does, he could easily settle now, accept the fact that she had forgiven him but he still wanted to prove how much he cared and that was the sweetest thing.

"Thank you" she murmurs against his neck.

"Thank you for what sweetheart?" He says.

"For telling me all that" she says, she knows it isn't easy for him to be like this with people and she's so thankful she is the one he's choosing to be like this with.

"One sec" he says, going to his bag to get something, whatever is, is being clutched in a tight grip in his hand and he hesitates as he puts it into hers, clasping his hands around hers, not letting her see it yet.

"I bought you something on that holiday... I knew... Well no: I hoped, that one day I'd be giving it to you, and have carried it everywhere with me since then... Just in case I needed it" he says, removing his hand, allowing her to open her hands, revealing a gold necklace, attached to the chain was a pendant, a small letter "M".

"Matty..." she says, voice trailing off as she looked at the piece of jewelery. "It's beautiful"

"You don't have to wear it... Not yet. Not if you don't want to" he says and her eyes find his.

"just promise me something yeah?" He says.

"Anything" she nods.

"Promise me you'll wear that when you're mine. When I've proven to you how sorry I am, how I truly feel" he says and she thinks he's already proven all of that, not that she lets him know that just yet.

"I promise" she says, pulling him into another tight hug.

"Let's go join the boys yeah?" He asks and she nods, not before pressing a firm kiss to his lips. He watches her as he leaves the bed, begging her to stay there for a second whilst he grabs his phone, snapping a quick photo of her, she looked so cool, clad only in her underwear, tattoos on display, tanned skin almost tempting him again.

"You're so beautiful love, could look at you all day" he says, palms flat against the bed as he lowers his mouth to hers quickly before they finally dress and join the boys.

----------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks later the band are all sitting around this huge room at one of the venues. The past two weeks have been absolute bliss, it somehow felt that they had all grown closer, they all spent every waking movement with each other, never tiring of each other. You'd think spending 5 weeks with each other, 35 whole days, would make them sick of each other, but she loved the time she spent with every single one of them.

Matty and Lou had almost been in their own little love bubble, every day Matty did something to prove how sorry he was for treating her so badly for so many years. He made her a coffee every morning, sung songs to her when they were alone, scattered loving kisses to every inch of her body he could find. Sometimes in the middle of the night when they should've been sleeping, he would tell her a story, a small fact about the old days, that just proved that he really didn't hate her after all.

The band were now scattered about the room on various sofas. Matty sits on a round leather chair, it almost swallows him, makes him look tiny in comparison.

Ross is sprawled out on the ground next to him, his legs extending in front of him as one arm rests under his head. Matty laughs at how ridiculous he looks, his head resting near Matty's calves as the two spoke, Ross's voice slightly distorted from lying upside down.

The sound catches the attention of Lou, they share a look briefly before she continues talking to George , the two laughing with each other, G's arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders, the two spending some much needed time with each other (especially considering Charli had left to do her own shows) but the sight made Matty's heart swell.

"I've never seen you so happy mate" Ross says from below him, making Matty turn his attention to the lanky lad laid beneath him. The tall man turns on his stomach, looking up at him the right way round now.

"It's good mate" he then says. Matty nods, his eye wandering over to her again. He almost draws her in his mind: laughing uncontrollably with his best mate, tears coating her cheeks, a huge smile resting against her lips, those lips that he can never get enough of. Her hair is up in a ponytail, carelessly showing the bruises scattered around her neck.

"She's just the best" Matty says and Ross nods.

"She is. Thanks for that, glad you plucked your ideas up, glad we didn't lose her in the end " Ross says and Matty smiles at him "one of us forever now".

Matty nods "yeah" he has half a mind to ask her to get the 1975 box tattooed, she was part of the band after all, but she was also so much more than that.

A little while later, Ross has moved from the floor, now mucking around with Hann and George.

Matty remains in the huge chair, too comfortable to move. His phone rests in his hand, scrolling carelessly through Instagram, coming across a photo Lou had posted, the one he took, he smiles before commenting, reading his mates comments too, smiling down at his phone.

His phone pings, notifying him of a text. He smiles when he clicks on it, a selfie of the two of them set as her picture, "Room for one more?".

His eyes leave the screen, when he sees her, her own phone resting in her hands as she leans against a wall on the other side of the room. He nods and she walks over. He holds his arms out as she climbs onto the chair, he adjusts her so her legs are hung over his, holding onto her side as she rests against him. She smells faintly of cigarettes and he thinks that must have been where she was previously, but its her scent that is so overwhelming her; sweet and addictive that evades his senses.

"Hi" he says quietly, a wide smile breaking out on his face.

"Hi" she smiles.

"Missed you" he says simply, she nuzzles into his side, not saying anything for a beat, her lips press against his cheek, feeling the rough stubble he had let grow against her mouth.

"Missed you too" she pulls back to look at him, his red lips call her name and she can't help but push hers against his. His hand flies to her jaw, controlling the kiss quickly. His mouth opens on instinct and her tongue quickly meets his, moving against each other passionately. She pulls away slowly, making him groan in protest against her, only making her giggle. Oh that laugh, he fucking loves it man. He loves her.

"What was that for?" He asks, not complaining in the slightest, just curious.

"You guys are adorable" George says sighing deeply. They break away to look at him. A frown on his face.

"Fuck I miss charli' he says and they both frown.

They share a look, nod and both open their arms up, inviting him to join on the huge chair. He practically throws himself onto the pair, the both of them wrapping him up in a warm hug.

----------------------------------------------------------

They were both acting absolutely feral before the show, they were annoying the shit out of everyone with the amount of sexual tension that was in the room.

The moment he walked out in his suit she felt her eyes darken, her breath pick up and her heart beat faster in her chest (and core). Her eyes raked down his form, how the shirt clung to his chest in just the right way, how his slacks fit his slender legs perfectly. He looked godly and she found herself swallowing at the sight.

He knew that look all too well and he smirked at the sight. She looked fit too: black leather skirt clinging to her delicious thighs as she sat on a high chair, her booted legs swinging, the top she was wearing wasn't particularly low cut but he could see the "M" necklace he bought her resting in between the swell of her breasts.

"Fuck" he muttered to himself, it didn't take her long to wear the necklace at all and the thought had him falling deeper by the minute.

He felt a hand clasp his back making him have to peel his eyes of her.

"Mate, we've got 5 minutes before we have to be on that stage, I know she looks fit but don't start something you know both of you can't finish" Ross says and George nods next to him. He sighs but nods agreeing with the sound advise.

His legs take him to her anyway. The boys flee just in case, getting ready to go on stage and leaving the pair be.

"Wow Healy" she says and a groan grumbles in his chest at the sultry tone she uses.

"Right?" He says, giving her a twirl, trying to ease the tension for his sake only. His eyes find hers again and he almost loses it.

He runs a hand through his curls which aren't tamed by the usual hair gel tonight and she almost pounces on him. His feet betray him and take him the rest of the way to her. His eyes land on her delicious thighs, hands finding them without a single thought. They're spread not a second later and oh how well they welcome him. His eyes catch a glimpse of her black lace underwear and his eyes snap shut.

"You're killing me here" he says as her neck strains to find his Adams apple.

"Baby" he groans eyes snapping open, their dark eyes finding each other.

"You look so good" he says, the vowels drawn out.

"You don't look so bad yourself Healy" she says, fingers playing with his curls, he didn't even see how they got there but they're curling around the strands gently, she knows she can't mess up his hair too much.

He breathes in deeply as he looks at her, breath bated and sharp.

"You look so good baby" she sighs out, repeating his words back to him, her breath hitting his lips.

"Oh fuck it" he says, smashing his lips against hers. Their tongues quickly find each other, meeting messily. He presses his core forward, his hands finding her hips and pulling her tight against him, she almost falls off the chair, but his tight grasp has her held against him, flushed.

Their make out session is quickly cut short, bells ringing to let the band know they're due to be on soon.

"Fuck" he murmurs against her lips, he sighs against her before they both pull away to go on stage.

He had clearly decided to make this show more painful for her. Particularly when he did the 'bit' on the sofa. It felt all to real when his fingers grasped the buttons of his shirt. Usually he would look up, away from the audience but this time he turned to where she was standing on the stage.

His eyes found hers, he took a puff of his cigarette, lips pursing as he blew out, he winked at her making her gasp. His hand smoothed down his chest, he only looked away when his palm lay flat against his trouser covered cock, that's when he decided to throw his head back, he purposely let out a deep sigh.

She swore she heard her name and the fans in front of her looked to her and screamed. Oh shit he said her name.

"You little shit Healy" she murmured to herself.

During the final bows, she made her way backstage and waited for him there. She sat anxiously for a while before she left, deciding to wait in his changing room. When she heard the crowd screaming loudly she knew they had left the stage.

She knew he'd rush to find her so she had to be quick. Her fingers found the zip of her skirt, discarding it. She took off her top, revealing a black lace bodysuit, something Matty hadn't seen her in before. She found one of Matty's white shirts and threw that over her frame. She heard the door slam against the wall behind her and she whipped around to seem him. His shirt was nowhere to be seen and he had already started on the buckle of his belt. He shut the door behind him and turned the lock until it clicked.

"There she is" he said, his voice deep as his eyes found hers.

"That wasn't fair now was it Matty?" She says, stepping slowly towards him. He froze in his tracks as she approached him, finally taking in her attire. A groan rumbled from his chest and his cock twitched in his pants.

"Fuck me you look hot' he says as her hands are placed on his bare shoulders. She lowers herself until she's on her knees, her lips finding his abdomen as he throws his head back.

"Don't get me wrong, you looked so fit. Running your hand down your chest like that" she said, mimicking his earlier actions.

"And the way your head was thrown back when you..." She says, her hand moving down more until flush against his core.

"But it wasn't fair Matty. Saying my name as if no one would hear" she says.

"Lou" he sighs again. She looks up at him through her eyelashes, her fingers find the zipper of his trousers and they make light work of undoing them. He helps her remove them, he knows she's the devil when her lips press against his clothed core.

"Fuck me" he says. Looking down at the beautiful woman on her knees for him, trying to commit the view to memory.

"oh I will, don't you worry baby" she says and he groans. Her hands find the hem of his boxers, pulling at them until his member is free and snaps against his abs.

This is completely uncharted territory but he's thriving off it.

"You're so hard for me" she says and he nods bashfully. She's too turned on and needs him too much to tease him, so her lips quickly find their place around his tip. The red and leaking tip disappearing against her red lips, her lipstick marking his member.

He groans and his hands wrap around her hair, making a makeshift ponytail .

"oh fuck you're good at this ' he groans. Her lips move down his shaft, all the way to the base and she moans against him, the vibrations nearly killing him. She begins bobbing up and down on him, the head of his cock hitting the back of her throat perfectly. She doesn't gag, she moans and it has Matty's stomach clenching.

"Oh fuck you're the best" he says and she looks up at him, continuing her work and making him writhe against her. All that can be heard is his deep grunts and the wet sounds coming from below him and it's like music to his ears.

"Baby I can't, I need to be inside you" he groans, she moans against him and his hands are quickly placed against her shoulders, pushing her off him until a pop sounds. His hand finds her and he pulls her to her feet, he grabs her hips and pulls her flush against him, he quickly picks her up, leading her to the countertop to the left of them. He pops open the lace bodysuit, she grasps him in her hand and leads him to her core. His tip brushes against her clit before dipping into her cunt, coating just the head of him with her juices. He gives her a look and she nods at him, letting him know she wanted this.

"Fuck you're so wet, who made you this wet huh?" He says, lips pushing against hers, tongues fighting.

"You, it's always you" she says against him.

"Please fuck me Matty" she sighs.

"oh I will' he says, a smirk resting against his lips before he thrusts harshly into her. She takes all of him and they both moan loudly.

"Oh god Matty' she moans, hands grasping at his back, trying to get him closer although not possible.

"You were made for me darling' he looks down at where they meet, nearly coming undone at the site.

He pulls back before his hips snap forward again, sending his cock deep into her. Her head snaps upwards as she screams. They moan, groan and scream in unison, his cock driving to and from her at an unforgiving pace, curving upwards slightly and hitting her gspot perfectly. His eyes are trained on where they met, the sight filthy, turning him on even more. He felt unbelievably lucky that he got to have her like this. He had never felt this good with anyone before, but he also couldn't believe how connected it made them feel.

Her mouth opens and forms a "o" as the tip of him rubs against her soft spot.

"That it baby?" He groans and she nods vigorously. He continues driving himself into that spot, the spot that has her convulsing around him. His own head shoots back now, her lips sucking against his Adams apple. His fingertips find her clit and he circles it.

"Cum with me" he says, his words sending her over the edge, he cums not a second later joining her in the white hot pleasure.

It was a hard and fast fuck, what both of them needed to shake off the tension that had started to become unbearable mixed with adrenaline of the show.

He holds her tightly against him, pressing soft kisses to her lips. He pulls back to look at her and finds her smiling up at him.

"Never going to get used to that" he says and she nods in agreement. His pulls out of her, making the both of them groan. His fingertips find the "M" of the necklace as he smiles down at her. He doesn't ask if this means she's his, because the both of them already knew that and neither of them needed or wanted to confirm it just yet. They were enjoying just figuring it out for now.

"Look pretty with my initial on you" he says and she smirks.

"Marked your territory real good" she says and he all but groans at that. His territory. Her words had basically confirmed she was his anyway.

"Spoke to the boys earlier.... We think... If you want. That you should get the box tattoo" he says and she smiles up at him. If anyone asked her about this moment, she knew she wouldn't be able to do it justice, or explain how it made her feel. It was the best thing that had ever happened to her, it let her know that she was where she was supposed to be with the people who loved her most: she was home.

"I think that's a wonderful idea" she says, fighting back the urge to cry at the sentiment.

"Now what are we going to do about the fact you moaned my name in front of thousands of people?" She asks and he laughs loudly, leaving her to get a cloth to clean her up. He's gentle with the process knowing she would be easily overstimulated. She appreciates the softness of it all, especially when he places a soft kiss on her forehead when she winces.

"That's up to you love. We can let them speculate, or we can tell them" he says and she nods, thinking through the possible options.

"Tell them what though?" She asks and he agrees, at this moment in time, nothing was confirmed, they both knew how they felt but nothing was set in stone yet, they were going with the flow.

"I don't know... But I do know I don't want to have to hide. Want to love on you whenever I want... Flirt with you on that stage and over Instagram" he says making her laugh.

"How post-modern of you" and they both laugh loudly at that.

"Well then... Guess we just let them speculate" she says and he nods at her. His lips press against hers before they both get changed, returning to the boys.

"You guys are gross" George says making everyone laugh.

"Oh shut up, we've heard much worse from you" Matty says.

"Oh Charli... Just like that" Ross says, in a high pitch voice, completely taking the piss out of G. She's thankful he's taking some of the heat off of Matty and her.

"I do not sound like that thank you very much!" He says, defensive as ever. They join the group, Lou talking with Hann about various things as Matty messes around with the other lads.

She couldn't see how this could get any better.

Part 7

[noturvlentine]

the same damn thing

matty healy x reader based on this request🖤

requests are open still!!! this is my first matty request so to anon i hope it somewhat resembles what you had in mind :)

do not copy my stuff elsewhere but reblogs are appreciated 🖤

Summary- when you decided to take a break from your own music, you focused on helping matty and the boys on their new record and tour, offering your vocals for about you during a few live sets- though tonight, Matty’s lyrics hit differently. You realised that theyre about you-

lots of random doubting and fluff?

Word count 1.3k

༺ ♰ ༻

You were set for the stage any minute now, though it was a matter of how dramatic Matty was setting himself up to be that night. Tonight was your last time lending a hand to The 1975 before you set back on your own tour, for the past two shows, Matty had asked for you perform About You with the band on stage- an offer you couldn’t decline.

You remember London, 02, night two. You were an unannounced guest but honestly didn’t expect as huge of a welcome as you got that night, probably because you were no where near as interesting as Taylor swift from the previous show. You and Matty had always been a thing, platonically and sentimentally since Jack Antonoff introduced you two back ages ago. However, Matty would cowardly disagree.

First, he asked you if you’d like to be on a track for their latest album. He’d asked if you were willing to record your vocals for About You, and he’d ask when you were free.

And secondly, he was still in love with you. Whatever had been brewing inside him for the past- god knows how long had finally eaten him up from the inside and he was done being subtle. He was petrified that this tender desire to be with you would eventually suffocate him- he was done avoiding writing about you. The moment he swore to George about being earnest, he knew it was completely over for him. He’d tried to love you once. Though that was interrupted by a round of horse therapy and two rounds of tours from both parties- he didn’t know if it’ll end the way it always did. And something in side you was clawing at your rib cage too, curling around you heart and spreading infectiously under the radar.

On your second night, in Birmingham you felt the warmth of his stare prying its way into your mind, and down to your heart. You’d spent the entire night and the rest of the next day, until now- trying to tend to the animal of feelings that had scratched its way out from your chest. How long has it been like this? How long had you tamed your love for him and why now?

It all made sense now. The way he’d make up for your lost time together right after coming home from tour, in between shows and whatever he was up to. The desperation in his eyes when he’d ask if you’d come perform for them and this new doomed earnestness he’d adopted for the album. You stared blankly at the lights illuminating the stairs from the hallway to the wings, your earpiece rested around your neck, fidgeting with your hands and picking on the bottom of your top. Why now?

Were all your anonymous love songs secretly for written for Matty? Did your subconsciousness realise what you had going before you ever saw clear enough? Did you mean everything you’d supposedly said about him in your music?-

“Hey! You’re up!”

One of the stage hands had motioned for you towards the wings, that frail white door waiting for you to open it. You couldn’t drop your thoughts about Matty- you were fucked.

Pressured by the song, already crescendoing through the speakers, you made your way through the dark towards the door, opening it quietly as you walked onto the dimly lit stage. You made your way past Jamie and George, picking up a microphone set on a stool next to a pillar- exactly like you did the previous night.

You and I,

Don’t let go-

Were alive,

Don’t let go-

With nothing to do, I could lay and just look in your eyes

Your voice was slightly lower than Polly’s but it made for a good harmony. The Birmingham crowd had lost the moment you’d began those words.

Wait,

Don’t let go-

And pretend,

Don’t let go-

Hold on and hope that we’ll find our way back in the end

You started to think that the song was too optimistic for a man who couldn’t make up his mind sometimes. And indeed Matty had never given up on you since he first realised that he was in love with you- only now were your paths beginning to cross. Making your way down to Matty, sitting on the edge of the top half of the stage looking down at him, you saw that same flare in his eyes that had landed you in an entanglement of intoxicating emotions.

Do you think I have forgotten?

About you?

His eyes were fixated on you, and maybe you liked the way he looked from this angle but whatever it was- it made your heart race exhaustingly, more than any rush of performance adrenaline could ever accomplish.

There was something bout you that now, I cant remember

Its the same damn thing that made my heart surrender

And I miss you on the train, I miss you in the morning

I never know what to think about

I think about you-

And in the moment of that exact brief surrender of a heart- it finally hit you. Matty had written this song for you- unable to decide whether it would be the end of him if you ever picked up on it. He didn’t know how you’d screwed him over with your smile and gentle eyes that rained and flooded his mind all too often. He simply couldn’t deal with it much longer as the house he’d built around his love for you would eventually collapse under his swelling heart. You kept singing on autopilot, your legs now crossed as you sat on the floor still looking at him.

Do you think I have forgotten?

About you?

Dont let go-

About you-

Do you think I have forgotten?

About you?

Dont let go-

Matty could see the shock in your eyes as his inevitable exposure had crossed you. He saw the way you were looking at him even through the strobing lights on stage and the unforgiving roar of crowd. You microphone had now been turned off and switched to earpiece transmission only. It was then out of carnival instinct you picked it up and held it right against your chest-

‘I love you’

You blurted out like a bittersweet whisper which passed straight into Matty’s earpiece. He looked at you equally stunned as if his collection of ‘almost confessions’ were laid out right on your body.

Without even asking he walked the distance towards you, closing the gap between you as he stood before you. His eyes never left yours and during a fleeting moment of confessions, he snaked his hand up around you neck, bringing you down into a kiss. You were now leaning over the side of the stage, and Matty was on the tips of his toes- the rest of the band were still going to your surprise but the rest of the arena had just lost their collective minds. He kissed you. Tender and sweet. It was rotten work to love you but he did it anyway as he stained your heart in return.

Matty pulled away from the kiss, taking both your hands and pulling you down to his level of the stage. His hands were now cupping you face as you stood in front of him, his back still to the audience as John’s sax solo faded into the background.

‘Will you be mine?’ He said, a whisper with the volume of a thousand speakers despite the fact you could barely hear him over the crowd. One nod of the head became two- and soon a million times more as he brought you into a kiss once again.

AN: hope that wasnt a confusing read!! I kinda lost track of where i was going with this one but it made some sort of sense in the end :)

[thezfc]

What's going on with TS right now, Zero?

Are you living in a cave girl!? Basically she announced her break up with DEBJ after six years and then like two minutes later she “dating” this Matty Healy from The 1975 who was (is?) a drug addict, makes out with people on stage of any gender, says crazy rude shit, has made racist comments, has done a Nazi salute was saying that Kanye was awesome etc. He also said that he would never date her because it would be emasculating and yet suddenly he’s at her show they’re being photographed in New York together. Her fans are up in arms because he is not the squeaky clean unproblematic man she usually fakes it with.

Then there’s the fact that he was on a podcast where someone brought up the rapper ice spice and they asked if she was Inuit or Chinese and they did voice is acting like they were Chinese and he laughed it up. Then when that podcast came to light, and has been removed by now of course, he half ass apologized and TS fans are mad at her for dating a man like this and what does she do? She gets ice spice to record a rap verse in the middle of a remix of her terrible song Karma and then of course you can sell that album again with new remixed songs on it and she brings her out on stage at one of her concerts. And that’s supposed to make up for him?

It’s also casting a light on the fact that she only cares about social justice issues when it behooves her to do so. Whether it’s feminism when someone is calling her out for something, like when Ginny and Georgia -that Netflix show -did a little joke about her and she had a fucking hissy fit about it and it made her fans harass and send death threats to the actress who said it. That’s feminism!?

When she wants to exploit the LGBTQ+ community so she can sell a song during pride month years ago -does it does she say a word about them or support them in Tennessee where laws are being passed eradicate drag performers and trans people? Not a WORD.

She posts on Juneteenth one year that she is going to do everything in her power to fight against racism and then never says another fucking word about it.

And that Miss americana documentary she talked about how she wants to be politically active and she can’t stay silent when this stuff is happening that’s hurting people and then she never ever said another thing because that was performative for the cameras to make her look like this sad little girl who is finally gonna like to fight her parents and think for herself and it was for nothing.  Well, it was for was for her fans to use as a come back and example of how she cares because she said this is one thing that one time 🙄

People are finally putting that shit together. 

Well that really hit a nerve that I needed to get off my chest. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk 😆

@kaleidoscope-vol2 did I miss anything? 🤣

[yourtouchismidas]

What about if Matty and RG got called into school for something, like one of the girls got in trouble for something, nothing major, maybe just typical high school stuff like smoking in the toilets ahaha. I can’t imagine Matty being any good at discipline, he loves his girls too much bless him

so i think most of the girls are well behaved at school, and keep most of their experimenting and stuff outside of it. there is one exception though. stevie matilda. stevie came out a little rule breaker. she was always crying til she was red in the face if she didnt get her way. she would draw on the walls and pinch her sisters when they were playing quietly and run off giggling.

you and matty pretty much try everything. the naughty step. early bedtimes. no pudding. but stevie sits on the naughty step and entertains herself by singing. she goes to bed early without a fuss, talking sweetly to matty as her lifts the cover for her, as if its a normal bedtime and not a punishment.

"she's happy at least," you say, as you and matty groan into your before-bed-tea at the kitchen table, after another day of trying to get her to do what you say.

"maybe it's just a phase," matty says, "a terrible seven? is that a thing?"

"no matty. but even if it was, stevie has a terrible six too. and five. and..."

"okay i got it," he says, placing a hand over yours and tapping. you look at him. his laughter lines. his crows feet. his greying hair. the warm light reflecting in his glasses.

"you're too soft on her," you tell him.

"i'm not."

"you are. she listens better to me. hell, she listens better to george."

"okay maybe i am. i just cant help it. i mean. have you seen her? the smile? the dimples? she's fucking adorable."

she keeps growing and you send her off to secondary hoping that the teachers are more equipped to dealing with naughty kids. your children have all gone to regular school their whole lives, despite matty earning enough to send them to private (the exception being valley once she hit eleven and needed more advanced classes).

"if public school was good enough for me. it's good enough for my girls," he said.

"stevie will probably get expelled if we sent her to private school anyway. apple doesnt fall far," you agreed.

so off stevie went to secondary and amazingly, you didnt hear anything. no phone calls. the occasional detention but nothing major. something odd happened with the twins early in their school journey. close as anything at home, they separated at school, made new friends, took different classes, became themselves, before returning to their shared bedroom at night to gossip until they fell asleep, sometimes in the same bed.

then the call came.

"hi is that stevie healy's mum?"

you'd just finished lunch and all the girls were at school . you were expecting a call from gigi at uni today and thought that's what this was. you beckon matty over from where he is stuffing crisps in his mouth and whisper "stevie." his eyes go wide. you hold the phone up to both your ears.

"unfortunately stevie has been sent to the headmistress today..."

they explain what has happened. stevie was caught on top of the gym hall roof with her friends. no one knows how she got up there and when asked to come down she refused, telling the teacher she didnt want to show other kids how to get up there, and he shouldn't want that either, or tomorrow everyone would be doing it. apparently there had been damages to school property. no one was hurt. you're asked to come and collect her. suspended for the rest of the day.

"stevie healy!" you yell at her when you see her, sitting outside the headmistresses office, head in her phone.

"hey mum," she says. like its regular pick up time.

"what do you think you were doing?" matty says, trying to put on a stern voice and failing. stevie smirks a little.

"i dunno. all the older kids take up all of the field and grounds to eat lunch. there was nowhere to go. this school should really provide more places for year sevens to eat if they want to stop this kind of behaviour from happening again."

"unbelievable," you say.

"when we get home we're going to have a massive talk about respect," matty says. the headmistress is behind him now. watching. he sounds stern enough for her. not for stevie.

"didn't you set fire to uncle george's trousers when you were my age?"

"thats... well... that's not relevant right now. come on. we're going home. we'll pay for the damages," matty assures the headmistress.

when you're leaving, matty hears a little voice.

"dad?"

it's lexie, staring at you all crossing the courtyard, frowning.

"what's happened? you okay stevie?"

"your sister has been in trouble."

"god sake steve," lexie says. "got all scared then. thought there was a problem."

"there is a problem. your sister," you say. while matty kisses lexie on the side of the head, making her blush and assures her not to worry.

"see you at home," he tells her.

at home you both sit stevie down at the table and tell her off. you tell her she needs to sort her act out. that authority is hard sometimes yes, but you have to get by and stop doing things that could harm others. matty is actually stern. and stevie looks shocked. she looks in her lap and almost cries. but then locks eyes with him again. willing to take the yelling, knowing she earned it, and also that she can take it.

there is a silence afterwards. stevie sits and the two of you lean against the counter.

"okay, shall we go to a movie or something then?" matty says.

"matthew!" you say.

he shrugs, "what? she's off school. may as well."

you sigh. "too fucking soft," you mutter, but you grab your bag anyway. may as well.

[abiiors]

okay so while we’re on the topic… i’m a newer fan of the boys, i actually got tickets to one of their concerts back in october when they were touring in america from my aunt even though i had never really been a fan of them (her heart was in the right place 😭😭 bc i do listen to a lot of music that’s like in their sphere ig?? and i’ve been to festivals that they’ve performed at so i can see why she would’ve thought to get me those tickets, i just never really listened to their music before) but i went to the show regardless bc hello free concert tickets?? would have been a sin to let them go to waste tbh and oh my god am i so glad i did, it was actually one of the best shows i’ve ever been too!! especially considering i only really knew their popular songs?? like robbers, somebody else, aaaand it’s not living if it’s not with you

ANYWAYS that being said, since i had never really followed them before i always pretty much ignored anything i saw about them on twitter and stuff, mainly the negative things said abt matty bc not my faves, not my business?? but i gotta ask someone who’s been a fan of them for a lot longer than i have, what iiiis the deal with all the “matty healy racist” “matty healy homophobic” “matty healy [insert smth hateful here]” rhetoric??? bc from what i’ve seen of him after getting to know more abt the band he doesn’t appear that way at all?? like were there things he said that were taken out of context??? what’s up with the nazi accusations??? also homophobic??? is twt not aware of what he did in malaysia?? also straight men that are homophobic would never have the kind of close male friendships that the band have with one another… it seems like he’s twitter’s scapegoat tbh but idk i’m simply so confused and anything i find online trying to explain it all seems very biased based off the language they use so if you can/would like to… pls help 😭

okay first of all, welcome to the fandom!! i'm so glad you're here and i'm so glad you got to see them live!! they genuinely are so so incredible <33

now onto the questions!

i won't say matty's a saint. he's definitely done things in the past that are disappointing (to me at least, as well as to many others on here). last year he went on a podcast called the adam friedland show where many tasteless jokes were made about japanese people, the porn website ghetto gaggers, ice spice as well as countless other tastelss things were said.

now i really really want to clarify that matty never made those jokes but he did laugh along to them which is also a shitty fucking thing to do. he's since said that he was advised not to go on the podcast by people close to him and he still did it. however, he's also publicly apologised to ice spice and she's also said that the 1975 are one of her fav artists.

in may of 2023 he started allegedly dating taylor swift (i still don't believe it, i still think they either just made music or they just fucked or both) which exposed him to a whole new level of fame that was unprecedented. and the swifties are... rabid, to say the least. they made fun of his appearance, his past addiction issues, hoped he would have a relapse and die, all sorts of horrendous stuff. they discovered the podcast which was pretty fresh at the time and the whole thing spiralled into him being labelled a racist, homophobe, transphobe, pedophile, nazi, you name it, he was being called it.

however literally NONE of it was backed by evidence (but i don't expect people whose sole source of information is twt to realise that)

they have clearly never learned what a nazi is. i'm not even going to try to debunk that here because i feel like it would be insulting to your intelligence

he's not homophobic or transphobic, he's literally an ally to the point of being a fruity lil shit. he's been banned from 2 countries (dubai and malaysia) for openly supporting queer rights. they were also briefly jailed in malaysia for the stunt they pulled and had a lawsuit filed against them. he's even won ally of the year at the diva awards in 2019

literally every single fan who's ever met him has had nothing but amazing things to say about him. he's been incredibly kind and sweet to people

the band has always been openly political and vocal about their beliefs

you're absolutely right about him being the twitter scapegoat because unfortunately that's exactly what it is </3

i hope that clears things up tho, i'm sorry this is so long!!

[myvirtuesuncounted]

From what I have seen it was the triggered liberal woke warriors who even put a "nazi" adjective next to that salute. I've literally seen Jewish creators talk about this on tiktok and say it is not a nazi salute. My friend who is Jewish has said the same.

You can't say it doesn't matter that it wasn't done with right arm straight up extended and lifted (which IS the nazi salute).

That's in the same fucking zone as people being Niger (the country) is problematic bcs thats v similar to n-word. Or when someone on tiktok said montenegro was a bad country name bcs of the "negro" portion of the name.

Like connect two dots and accept that context matters. I am not even defending Matty Healy anymore, I am defending common sense (specifically with regard to the whole nazi salute and antisemitism accusations).

i would like to preface this by saying that my first reaction to seeing this ask was full-on laughter because i had made a post yesterday criticising people for saying 'context matters' when talking about acts of bigotry. so thanks for that anon.

since you love the idea of context so much, let's talk about it!

*trigger warning for mentions of antisemitism and nazism, read under your own discretion*

in the same week as holocaust remembrance day, matty healy is performing his song 'love it if we made it' in which there is a lyric that says 'Thank you Kanye, very cool' (recall that kanye west is infamously someone who holds nazi ideologies). now at this exact line referencing a famous neo-nazi, matty marches on the spot, puts his left arm at his head, and extends it all the way out. now you can come at me and say "diya, it's the wrong arm and the salute doesn't start at the head, he was doing a military salute". two things:

military salutes do not stretch the arm out all the way like the nazi salute does, and it's not held for an extended amount of time like the nazi salute.

let's go back to the mantra you're chanting at me: context matters. it's a lyric about kanye west, someone famously antisemitic. now this is the first time he's done the salute to this lyric, so it's not a fucking act or whatever. and it's most definitely NOT mocking kanye or as satire. this is an action that represents severe danger for jewish people and is BANNED in germany for what it represents.

ok but let's say you still don't agree with me that matty did the nazi salute and that my accusations of him being antisemitic are outlandish. that's fine, he's done quite a bit of other antisemitic stuff we can go off of!

let's take the time where matty posted on his instagram story a screenshot of a link to a wikipedia page entitled 'lists of jews'

now if you don't know what this means, it's a reference to the fact that nazis used extensive records and lists to keep track of jewish people and to hunt them down during the holocaust. this was posted in the same month matty allegedly did the nazi salute, a time when antisemitism around the world was on the rise. unfortunately, that's not it. take a look at an excerpt of a video i saw on a jewish creator's tiktok criticising matty healy:

notice how a joke about jewish people prefaces a song about death? and he seemed to point that out as clearly as he could. now maybe that wasn't his intention but the timing of it is very off and out of touch.

(also i recommend you go check out danielle if you can, they have extensive videos on matty healy's antisemitism and how harmful it is)

what i hate most about your ask is how you're comparing this situation to stupid internet discourse. it is anything but that. many jewish people have been hurt over his actions and even if you still can't believe matty is an antisemite, he has done heaps of other shit to other marginalised communities that is not worth excusing.

[allamericansbitch]

'but i do think she's just in a moment of "what if i make all the worst choices humanly imaginable"'

I'm sorry, but I gotta laugh at some of these takes here lmao. Even if that WAS the case (which would be absolutely batshit of her), are we then just supposed to forget about it and move on?

Matty healy is racist, antisemitic, homophobic and sexist and probably some other shit as well. So how are the fans who one or more of these labels apply to supposed to feel? Because this shit affects us. It's not just 'tehe making some bad choices, in my dgaf era ✌️' This is hurting people, and we shouldn't just let it slide considering what times we live in and what's happening to these groups of people everywhere. I've especially seen lots of poc fans who are really upset by this.

Like, I'm aware we can't dictate who she dates, but we also don't owe her blind support and worship. I've been with her for 15 years, I've defended her when she got undeserved criticism while also acknowledging when she fucked up. I was disappointed by her silence regarding anything politically important the past three years, but that's a lot easier to swallow than her actively associating and dating a trash human being like matty.

This goes against everything she used to claim she was (and against the 'activism' she liked to use to promote stuff...), and as fans we should not just be okay with this because idk, she's going through something and wants to make some bad choices??? When I go through it, I eat a bunch of trash food and smoke a pack of cigarettes and cut my own hair, I don't go dating a bigoted piece of human garbage.

Yes!! This is so well said and exactly what I was trying to say. Literally I have nothing left to say, this is perfect, no notes.

[the1975attheirverybest]

do you have any tips on how to be less parasocial? I hate feeling so emotionally attached to celebrities, but my brain won't stop doing it

oh, I might be the absolute worst person to ask about this because, a long time ago, I decided that being parasocial is not a bad thing. indeed, 90% of the time its a good thing. YEAH I SAID IT. COME FOR ME I DARE YA.

Like, im sorry but since when has caring for and loving something or someone been a bad thing????? This is why I dont get bothered by the hate anons who are like "you dont know Matty Healy grow the fuck up" like im sorry if you are so limited in your emotional and cognitive capacity that you cannot fathom an understanding of somebody, however partial, or incomplete in your brain. I genuinely feel sorry for those people. But thankfully, im human enough to use my brain and my emotions. and I like to think that we *do* know Matty. maybe not on a personal everyday basis. like maybe we don't know his favorite pizza place in london or the wacky story behind how he ended up with an ex-gf's brother's t shirt or whatever. But we KNOW his heart. we know what type of guy he is. we know what he believes about being in the world. whats important to him. what he wants to do with his life. what he thinks about important topics.

AND FUCKIN HELL MAN! Like isnt that the fuckin reason art exists??? like isnt that LITERALLY how it work. the artist puts their feelings and thoughts and world view into their art, shares it, and then the consumer goes "wow me too! i didnt know other people felt this way about this." or "wow this has made me experience someone else's pov. i never would have thought about it in this way but thanks to this novel or song or film or whatever now im thinking about it."

and how can you not be emotionally invested in something or someone that makes you feel less alone, that challenges you to think differently, comforts you, or teaches you, or inspires you to be a better person???? the fuck is wrong with people, man????

I think the only time that being parasocial can be bad or dangerous is when it leads to people disrespecting the celeb or whatever. like stalking Matty's house? yeah dont do that. sure he feels like your best friend, but frankly, even if it were my best friend, if someone shows up at my house without invitation id be mad. feeling entitled to his time or his energy just cuz hes performing or in public? yeah thats bad dont do that. feeling like you can ask him about taylor's private jet (this was back in may) bad, dont do that. like stuff like that! you know what I mean? like dont be a fuckin asshole. other than that BE MORE PARASOCIAL WHO CARES I THINK ITS A GOOD THINK! It shows how capable we are of connecting despite our differences and our capacity for love and understanding that we can bond even if we never met. thats literally the best. fuck haters. be weird man.

[tales-of-a-wallflower-swiftie]

crucify me daddy (or how I learned to stop giving a shit about celebrities relationships and focus on the nu cold war) *insert edgy title here by Fall Out Boy* - a rant with love

So TTPD has finally graced us with it's presence and it's an amazing album. It's a mix of Folklore + Speak Now + Reputation + Midnights in one bundle. Will have to give it a few more listens before I can decide my personal favorites but Clara Bow has been stuck in my head quite a lot.

Now... elephant in the room. I am a fan of The 1975 but I am not a Matty Healy apologist by any means. Do I think he's a racist, fuck no! If so, why are pretty much all of The 1975's work r'n'b based and has a black influence and collaborations with ethnic artists. He's not dancing in a KKK outfit or anything or wearing blackface or beating up a Pakistani kid or . Why are the many artists he's supported over the years people of color or *coughs* ASIAN! FOR FUCKS SAKE HIS LAST GIRLFRIEND IS BLACK AND WAS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE TO WHICH HE SUPPORTED AND STOOD UP FOR EVEN GIVEN HIS SICKENING PORN TASTE!

Do I think he's a twat and an idiot who sticks his foot firmly in his mouth a lot and says and does a lot without thinking, YES! The whole Love It If We Made It incident which started the entire Matty hate mob was an honest ill thought mistake. He shouldn't have shared his own song during his BLM post, I agree. It was fairly cringe for him to kiss the gay fan and put a target on that fans back but his heart was in the right place in calling out the bullshit in the eastern areas against stuff like this.

Cum Town helped Matty through his rehab and in return he was invited as a guest to which he joined in on some edgy jokes about Ice Spice and shared his porn taste of the hardcore variety like most men watch. The episode was out for many months prior to the news of them getting together however the psycho swifties wanted any ammunition to cause a fandom jihad.

So to no one's surprise, I was expecting at least a few Matty mentions. Boy was I in for a treat. Peter, But Daddy I Love Him, The Tortured Poets Department among others.

But kudos to Taylor for actually sticking up for herself and Matty during But Daddy I Love Him. I loved Taylor before but I completely adore her for having the guts to say to those parasocial dicks who thinks everything is a coded message or an easter egg, enough is fucking enough

"I'll tell you something right now I'd rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin' I'll tell you something 'bout my good name It's mine alone to disgrace I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing"

It sickens me to see some of Swifties wish death, rape, bus crashes, , overdoses on Matty and his family. She chose to be with him, she wasn't shotgun wedding or married off to him and fuck me, imagine genuinely liking someone once you get to know them and not look at the edgy stuff they said online... crazy am i right?

Look what happened to Mac Miller, Ari's fans launched a crusade against him and he ended up doing himself in because of it

You know we're going to be nuked soon anyway... china, russia, israel or even if Trump gets re-elected. Mexico is over run with videos of people getting their faces cut off and Logan, Jake and KSI sell poison to kids and have yet to be assassinated. Life's too short to care about the relationship of two celebrities. Go touch grass, go milk a horse blindfolded, go kick a hornets nest, go burn yourself alive in front of Trump tower. Be a decent human being stop fixating on relationships of the stars

#staygay

[graciegoeskrazy]

Healy!reader’s relationship to the boys

george - as mentioned previously, george is the official-unofficial godfather. (official because matty deemed him that, and unofficial because your father is an atheist) your dad also always puts him down as your 2nd emergency contact - him being first of course. He was one of the first people to hold you when you were born and was looking forward to life with his new little buddy. He always called you “bubs” and when you were a baby and first started to babble, you tried to say it back and eventually kept saying “bubba” instead and kept pointing at him whenever you said it or tried to get his attention. from then on he was bubba to you and he loved that he had a nickname. you call him whenever you're in some sort of trouble that you don’t want your dad finding out about. You had him pick you up from a party and admitted to him you tried drugs but swore immediately that you’d never do it again. He was like “Bubs, what the hell?!” and you said “I know, Bubba. I know, I’ll never do it again!” and he said “No not doing drugs- doing drugs without me! Next time you feel like having fun, you call your uncle George and let him get you something. I need to make sure you're not getting worse stuff on the streets or someone is trying to rip you off!” you we’re like uh okay cool but no thanks. your dad was pissed when he found out. Not at you ofc - he was happy you were out and about being a teenager. he was pissed at george for the encouragement and that he didn’t tell him.

Adam - your dad likes to joke that you started having conversations with people that moment you were born. you would always make these noises. Eventually your dad could differentiate them and he would be able to tell if you were hungry, or tired or whatever. You tried to call people by their names before you could really speak. Again- they were just like sounds. Adam became “adi” and that’s all you’ve called him since. usually nowadays it’s “uncle adi” or something of the sort. he was set on you being a musician from the very start. he gave you your very first guitar lesson at the ripe age of 3 which was basically just him playing guitar to whatever song was blasting and you strumming along on your hannah montana mini guitar that bubba got you for christmas without playing any actual chords or holding any rhythm. He’s the uncle you spill all the tea to first. He knows who everyone in your school is because you two always shit talk about the bitches in your school and gossip about whatever taylor swift was doing that day. “So she called me literally CRYING that her friend canceled on her and i was like ‘gurl don’t worry we can go out together tmr’ and so we made plans for the next day” and he’s just like “uh huh” and just nodding on and on “but THEN she cancels our plans the very next day and was like ‘oh i have a family event’ but then a check her instagram story AND SHES OUT WITH ALL OUR FRIENDS WITHOUT ME!” and he matches your energy and is like “WHAT A BITCH!” he loves you very very dearly and would drop everything in a second to be wherever you needed him.

ross - When you were little and started speaking little words you would point at ross and just say “tall” which always made everyone laugh. It eventually turned into “tallie” (t - ah - lee) the vowels never made sense to the boys but they just chalked it up to you being a baby of a britt being raised in america. he’s the most ‘uncle like’ (?) like he’s always making sure you do your homework and makes sure you're home at a certain time and shit. all 3 are overprotective as FUCK but ross definitely takes the cake for most over protective. he’s like “be back my 10” and you’d always fight him and be like “10!?! cmon! midnight man!” and he sticks his ground. “no way.” “what about 11:30?” “it’s about to be 9 if you keep it up…” “fine i’ll be back by 10.” - you, accepting your defeat.

[missyourflight]

some stuff i read and watched in june:

taskmaster (s1-5): haven't done an early seasons rewatch in so long, s4 and 5 are basically perfect 2 me. incredible that mark watson manages to be both my favourite type of taskmaster guy (hopelessly despairing) and also nearly won the thing lol. nish forever obviously

silo: got well into this! probably at some point apple will stop throwing millions at sci-fi shows but i'm going to enjoy their folly in the meantime

mission: impossible ii: hadn't seen this one! the weakest of the lot but the john woo of it all is undeniable

mission: impossible iii: PSH outrageously good as the villain, hi keri russell

mission: impossible - ghost protocol: so much fun, especially the sequences where you can see brad bird's animation brain going

mission: impossible - rogue nation: ILSA my beloved, the opera sequence is so gorgeous, no notes!

mission: impossible - fallout: it's good when henry cavill reloads his arms, it's better when tom cruise is sprinting around london rooftops and breaking his ankle etc, my most basic trait is that i Love when they're in london like oooh tate modern. anyway i'm very ready for dead reckoning

asteroid city: the bits about making art really got to me! the vending machines were cool!

joint security area: crash landing on you prepared me for this, blank check weren't lying when they said it was homoerotic, song kang-ho forever etc

dodie smith, the town in bloom: the most delightful narrative voice i've read in Ages and v funny. easy to sell me on 1920s theatrical shenanigans

k patrick, mrs s: So hot and butch, i liked the butch friendship stuff almost more than the sex stuff. more sexy lesbian novels Please

kj charles, the secret lives of country gentlemen: another winner from KJC, my most reliable romantic comfort reads. this time it's smugglers!

alice slater, death of a bookseller: sticky little thriller about being poisoned by true crime, great sense of place, So many pints of dark fruits

laura kay, wild things: bisexual disaster in love with her best friend, tragically very me- and also george russell-coded, god i want to swim in a pond again

SOME STUFF I SAW AT ROCK WERCHTER

the dj on the first nigt who played a mash up of i'm gonna be (500 miles) into temperature and then the 1d cover of one way or another into little lion man (deeply cursed fandom flashbacks etc)

weyes blood with candelabras and glowing hearts and amazing adam curtis projections on the big screen behind her

king princess sending the gay girls of belgium absolutely wild - "you wanna hear a sad lesbian song?"

matty healy is a dickhead but he's very good at being the frontman of the 1975. like if ben whishaw was straight and kind of disgusting

stormzy!!! literally the rain was pouring during blinded by your grace pt 2

mumford and sons - this whole festival was like being borne back ceaseless into the past but the cave still fucks me up, marcus really in his ken marino era, face-wise

PUP - i do believe if this tour doesn't kill you, i will to be a wholly perfect song, they had a trans flag on stage, best vibes of the festival

sigur ros - sometimes you just want to be in a massive barn with thousands of people with your faces turned up in the dark feeling like you're inside the sound somehow

muse - fucking incredible live band still!! every time i'm see them i'm floored by how hot chris the bassist is and then i forget about it and then i see them again and i'm poleaxed etc. they had a tech meltdown during knights of cydonia at the encore so we got showbiz instead!!

christine and the queens - beautiful and terrible as the dawn

jacob collier - asked if we wanted to get funky then put on a special hat, bit george russell-coded in the face

arctic monkeys - sometimes you just want to be in a field with one of your oldest friends singing the songs of your youth!! i love the 70s act actually! there are so many sexy songs on AM!! the skies finally cleared for the beautiful full moon, thank you belgium, good night

[harrystylescherry]

I want to circle back on Matty Healy because I’m having this argument with my friends now and I need the opinion of someone who’s a fan of his and is also a sexual being.

People are coming for him for watching porn. The porn he was watching was women getting face fucked, peed on, double penetration. But the fact that they were black is what makes it racist?

If as a white woman I search big black cock because that’s my preference, is that still racist? If I’m black and ask my white boyfriend to fuck my face, is that racist? I’m just truly trying to understand.

You’ve beautifully written a woman ASKING to get her face fucked because it can be enjoyable for a woman too and it is many women’s kinks!

I’m trying really hard not to sound like a Matty Healy apologist but what they’re saying about him really comes off as kink shaming to me and I need someone else’s take. Thanks in advance.

The issue is that society has a history of fetishizing black women and black men, making them a kink rather than a preference. It’s sexualizing them because they’re black, or objectifying them, seeing their blackness as a kink. Its about THAT specific aspect, not taking them as a whole person. Theres a very very long history of this in society that goes all the way back to slavery and before.

It’s not the face fucking, or the being peed on, or whatever other kink thats the problem, but that it seems these kinks, for him, only apply to black women. Does that make sense?

And no, if you’re black and want your white bf to fuck ur face, it’s not racist because youre not fetishizing yourself. Thats not really how that works. That being said, if a white guy only dated black women bc he believed they’re more promiscuous, or kinkier, or whatever—THAT is racist and falls under fetishization which is wrong. Also, the BBC thing plays off of and into a major stereotype about black men…so that one…prejudiced at the least. Theres a lot of nuance that happens here and its tied up in a lot of other stuff.

The Colonial Roots of the Racial Fetishization of Black Women

Why there is a big difference between loving and fetishizing black women

Fetishization of black men is a form of prejudice

Those are some resources if you’d like to take a read (and i recommend everyone do so)

Im by no means a scholar, but the criticisms of him are valid in these aspects. Theres nothing wrong with being attracted to black women or black men—but there could be something wrong with WHY youre attracted to them and in what circumstances…only sexually? Only for certain kinds of sexual acts? Thats where the issues lie. Again, i am by no means a scholar, and i might not be getting all of this 100% right but yeah

Im moreso a fan of the band’s music…my parasocial relationship with matty ended in like 2015…thankfully