#matty healy x ofc

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 7: All I Need To Hear

a/n: okay i actually really love this chapter (it might be my fave so far) ... ready for some cuteness between lou and matty and some protectiveness from the boys? i sure hope so. hope you enjoy it

Warnings: smut, fluff, spelling/grammar mistakes

IA Masterlist

Part 6

Minors DNI

Lou was sat on the front of the stage, her legs dangling over the side, her guitar rested in her lap and her notebook was sat by her side, the edges were frayed and ink was spilled on the surface. By every sense of the word, it was worn; beaten up and used. She loved it nonetheless and took it everywhere with her, it was quite a thick notebook, stuffed to the brim with songs of course, but also pictures she had taken (of her loved ones, her fans, strangers, nature, everything you can imagine), fun things she had found like flowers that she pressed to preserve, receipts from places she had visited, small mementos people had given her: it was all apart of her creative process.

She had several like it back home, but nothing made her happier knowing that this notebook was also filled with Matty now, Polaroid's she had taken of him throughout their time together, making up for the years where he wasn't present.

A pen rested between her teeth as she strummed and hummed, she occasionally stopped to write something down before playing again.

Matty was watching intently at the side of the stage, listening to how her voice somehow filled the empty venue, despite it being huge and her not having a microphone. He was enamored with her, well and truly infatuated. He loved how she used notebooks too, not opting to write it on her phone like some people, she found it easier to write this way and so did he, the words flowed out of them easily.

"And I'm, on, my way to believing" she sings, liking the words so writing them down, nearly finished and happy with the song she was writing.

"Can feel you staring y'know" her voice catches his attention then, she didn't look at him as she spoke, too heavily focused on what she was doing. He feels like a child who was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, his cheeks flush and he looks down at his feet.

"You can join me if you want..." She says, turning her head to look at him now, his heart pounds twice as hard and three times as fast as her soft eyes find his, as her lips prick up into a smile upon seeing him. He can't help but smile at the way she pats the spot next to her, it was cute.

He was wearing a hoodie which was a size or two too big for him, black jeans and his hair was slightly askew on his head. She liked him best like this, this was her Matty, not the persona he had created for stage, or interviews or online. This was just Matthew Timothy Healy, the boy she grew up with that she hated for most of her life, who had turned into one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

The boy she hated felt like a distant memory now, she doesn't know how long it's been since he confessed his feelings but she truly doesn't care. Every bad memory she had of him was overwritten by a wonderful one, ones that made her heart flutter and butterflies swarm her stomach.

She realises as he walks to her that he's not wearing shoes, his feet clad in a pair of black socks, making his footsteps that much lighter. His movements are slow and fragile, not wanting to disturb her thought process. He truly can't even believe she's letting him witness this, he finds it quite intimate, watching someone write.

He doesn't speak for a few minutes, just listening to her, watching her intently as she plays a few chords, then jots them down in her notebook, singing beautiful words, before she's scribbling them down.

"Sounds beautiful darling" he says, quietly, needing to tell her his opinion but not wanting to interrupt her.

"Thank you Matty" she says, still not looking at him.

"I can leave if you need to be alone" he says and she looks at him then, frown resting on her face.

"Hey no. It's okay. Don't leave. Quite like having you here" she says, her words rushed and panicked.

"Okay I'll stay" he says, leaning forward to place a peck to her cheek, awkwardly moving around the guitar.

He doesn't quite know what to do when she doesn't continue writing or playing. She's just staring at him, before she puts her guitar down next to her.

She leans her head onto his shoulder, looking out at the venue. She used to dream about playing venues like this when she was a kid, when they were just kids playing in George's garage.

When her own band started selling out venues similar sizes to the one they were at, sometimes bigger, she couldn't quite believe it, she suffered with imposter syndrome for many years during the beginning of her career. But something about this, playing with the four guys she loved most in the world (and becoming friends with some of the best people she had met including Jamie Squire, John, Carly and Polly) ... It was different.

But recently, she felt unbelievably guilty for being so happy here, the idea was ridiculous. She missed her band, but was also having the time of her life with the guys. She believed that if her own band knew how she was feeling now, the happiest she had ever been and unbelievably in love; they would maybe feel jealous and Lou felt guilty because of that.

"Are you okay, love?" He asks, voice still quiet, scanning her features, trying to work out how she was feeling.

"I... Um" she hesitates, she moves herself from his shoulder then, looking at him. Her thoughts are clouded with all the negative things she's been pushing down recently: the fact that she had been receiving an influx of hate recently, the fact she was missing her band and her family, the fact she was feeling a little lost, if not momentarily.

He sees the tears prick at her eyes and he's quick to pull her into his arms, lips pressing against the side of her head, into her hair, trying to soothe her. He realises this is the first time he's ever seen her cry and the sight cracks open his heart.

"Hey darling it's okay, I'm here" and truly that's all she needs to hear to stop her tears from falling.

"Talk to me" he says after a beat. He feels bad that he can't help but feels grateful that he's the one experiencing this for a change. Usually George or Ross would be in his place right now... Sometimes even Hann. But for once he got to have her like this and that thought (although selfish) was everything to him.

"I miss my bandmates..." She admits (only scratching the surface of what was really wrong) and the confession pangs at his heart for a bit.

"Are you not enjoying yourself anymore?" He asks and she moves to look at him.

"No... No it's not that. I- I miss them. But I feel guilty more than anything" she admits and he knows not to talk, to just listen, because that's what she needed at that moment.

"I feel guilty because I'm with you guys, having the best time. And they keep asking if I'm coming back and... I can't help but feel like I don't want to. I don't want this to end because it's been perfect. We haven't even been on tour that long but it's the best" she says, sniffling as more tears threaten to fall.

"But they know you're needed for the whole tour right?" He asks and she nods.

"Truth is I don't ever want to leave you guys... You've all made me feel... The most alive I've ever felt in my life... Especially you Matty" she admits and his breath falters at her words.

He made her feel alive. He doesn't quite know what to do with that yet but he'll unpack that idea when he's alone. For now this was about her and giving her a safe space to speak.

"I loved being on tour with them, don't get me wrong. I love our fans and our songs and... They're my best friends, you know... It was fun... But... You guys feel like family... When I'm with you... When I'm on that stage with you all, I feel like everything is going to be alright" she explains and he nods. He truly felt that too, even before she started helping them out on this tour. He admits that it's gotten better since she's joined and the thought that one day she has to leave, it truly pains him.

"You know you're a part of this family now. Always have been really. That's never going to go away love" he says and she knows his words are true.

"And if they truly love and care about you they'll understand how you're feeling," he says.

"I can't stay here forever though Matty. Eventually Carly will be back, where she's supposed to be, and I'll be on the opposite side of the world to you guys" she says and again the thought pains him.

"Unfortunately we can't change that love. I know that's a sucky thing to say but we can't. We just have to make this time we all have together, count" he says and she nods, knowing he's right.

"You're right," she says.

"We will continue to play the shows, we will spend every waking moment with each other. And I... I'll shower you with love every day... And when the time comes to say goodbye... Maybe it won't hurt as much, yeah?" He says, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Yeah" she nods, feeling slightly better now, although she knows the more time they spend together, the more it will hurt to say goodbye. But she can't think about that now. So she decides to live in the moment, with the man she was falling in love with and her three best friends.

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A day off on tour was infrequent to say the least, but today they had one. They often wouldn't have time to actually do anything, they would either be too tired to wander the streets of whatever city or town they were in, or Jamie would be worried about them getting swarmed by fans. But yesterday, they had arrived at the city fairly undetected due to their flight arriving late at night. So with much persuasion from all of the band, Jamie was letting them explore today.

Lou couldn't control her excitement, so woke at 7am, she knew Hann might be up but the rest of the band would likely be asleep still. She slipped out of bed, hearing a groan from Matty, who's hand slipped from around her waist. Despite his groan, he didn't wake and Lou sighed thankfully.

She took a long, peaceful shower before slipping on a pair of jeans and a white crop, she smiled to herself as she applied some makeup, the "M" necklace dangling in front of her chest.

She slipped out of their hotel room, trying her best not to wake Matty. Their rooms in this particular hotel were all connected, she swore Jamie did it just to force Lou and Matty to shut up for a day or two (not that it stopped them). Each bedroom was connected to a large room in the middle, where there were large leather sofas and a small kitchen hidden in the corner. She spotted Hann sitting at the island there, reading a newspaper as he drank coffee from his mug.

He looked up from what he was reading, offering her a smile as she walked closer to him.

"Good morning sunshine" she says, her voice still quiet, too early to be louder yet.

"Sleep well?" he asks, already grabbing a mug and pouring her a coffee as she comes to sit next to him on the island. She nods at him and he smiles. Her eyes find the paper he's reading, seeing their faces sprawled out across the front cover, smiling at the group picture that was taken of them.

"What are they saying about us this time? Any slander?" she asks and he chuckles, eyes wandering over the paper.

"It's quite nice actually, makes a change really" and she nods at his words, taking a sip from the coffee, nice but not as good as the ones Matty makes for her she thinks.

"There's a lot of questions about you and Matty though Lou" he says, a hint of worry detectable in his voice.

"Yeah..." her voice trails off "been seeing a lot of articles come up on my phone too... People tweeting me too" she says and he looks at her then, trying to sense what she's feeling.

"You know you don't have to tell anyone what you are right??" Hann says and she nods at his words.

"Can't help but wonder if we're doing the right thing" she says, knowing he is exactly the right person to talk to about this. Hann will always tell her how it is.

"What do you mean love?" he asks, needing some more information before he gives his insight.

"No matter what we do... people are going to hate us... some people anyway. If we tell people the truth, that we're just having fun, enjoying time together, figuring out whatever this is... then they might hate us... if we carry on doing what we're doing, not confirming it but not denying it either... people are going to continue to say we're being unfair... not telling our fans the truth" she says and he nods.

"He makes you happy right?" he asks and she nods again.

"And I know for a fact that you make him happy. When you're with each other, does any of it matter? What people might think or say?" he asks and she shakes her head"no ".

"So agree you'll deal with the consequences together, either way, whatever you choose" he says and she leans on his shoulder.

"Thank you" she says and he briefly grasps her hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

"You've been there for me with all the Carly stuff in the old days, only returning the favor" he says, but they both know it's more than that. The whole group would do anything for each other, they'd die for each other if they had to.

"What would I do without you Adam Hann?" she asks and he chuckles.

"Probably let George, Ross and Matty delude you into thinking the sun shines from your arse" he jokes and they both can't help but howl at how funny they find it. They hear two doors open after that, each revealing a grumpy band member: Ross and George.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Ross says and he says the two of them laughing.

"I know you can't be laughing at Hann, he really is not that funny" George says, the next to join them, placing a soft kiss atop her head. George's eyes drift to hers, searching around her as if she was missing a limb.

"Where's the grump?" George said, a nickname they had given Matty because he was definitely not a morning person.

"Sleeping" she says, a smile creeping its way up onto her face, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

"Oh look at you" he says, gripping the apples of her cheeks.

"Shut up" she says, shoving him.

"Well I'm not waking him up" Ross says as he plonks down on a sofa behind them. She sees John leave his room, coming to sit with Ross and before she knows it George is leaving her to join them too.

She stands, hugging Hann quickly to say thank you before she grabs another mug, pouring a coffee for Matty before standing up and walking to their room.

"Please for the love of god dont have sex whilst we're all awake" she hears George shout and she laughs.

"Wouldn't be the first time George" she shouts back, hearing him groan as the others laugh.

She slowly opens the door to their room, eyes flinching as she sees him stir in his sleep at the light that makes its way into the room.

She moves leisurely across the room, not wanting to suddenly wake him. She carefully places the coffee cup on his bedside table. Kneeling next to his side of the bed, her fingers drift across his hair, pushing the curls away from his face so she can see him better.

Sleep is etched across his features, his eyebrows furrowed almost in a frown so she places a soft kiss there, careful not to wake him yet.

His soft snores continue to fill the room and she smiles, she doesn't quite want to wake him, he just looked so darn peaceful.

"Matty" she says his name softly, accompanying her words with a kiss to his cheek making him stir. She repeats his name again, placing another kiss to his lips this time.

"Hmm" he mumbles, the kiss awakening him, out of instinct they press firmer against hers and his hand is quick to grab the back of her head, not letting her go just yet. She laughs against his mouth and he smiles, breaking their lips for a few seconds before they're back on hers.

"Morning" he grumbles, his morning voice awakening something inside her, like it always does.

"I made you coffee" she says, trying to distract herself from the feelings his voice draws out of her.

"Mhmm" he says, pulling her up from her knees and grabbing her so she falls on top of him.

"Now isn't that so much better?" he says, voice deep, the vibrations resonating in her chest.

"Matty we have to get going, everyone else is up" she says.

"Mhmm, everyone is up" he says, his words having a completely different meaning to them, and she knows exactly what he means as he raises his hips up to hers. She can feel him hard and heavy beneath her and her breath becomes bated at the feel of him, looking down at him she sees the all too famous smirk resting on his lips as his usual dark eyes are blown wide.

"Someone's definitely awake now" she says and he flips them, making her chuckle.

"Had a dream about you" he says as he smears his lips against hers, she tastes like coffee and he groans at the taste.

"Clearly" she mumbles against his mouth, making him chuckle.

They're abruptly disturbed by a loud knock on their door.

"What!" Matty shouts, making her chuckle.

"We have plans, remember!" they hear George say and Matty groans as Lou pulls away from him.

"He's right. Come on" she says, pressing against his chest to slip out from underneath him before tugging him upwards, out of the bed.

"You can sort that out in the shower" she says, gesturing to his erection.

"You will be the death of me" he confirms with a firm kiss to her mouth, one that completely knocks the air from her entire body, especially when his tongue aggressively presses against hers. He leaves her after that, stunned and a little bit (or a lot) turned on.

She returned to the others in the larger room, sitting by herself as they were wrapped up in some conversation she had no interest in partaking in, something about football.

She found herself scrolling on Instagram, interacting with fans who had commented on her recent uploads, a few of which were of Matty. She couldn't help but read some of the negative ones too, and suddenly she was in a deep trance, reading negative comment after negative comment. A few people were calling her a "slag" or "slut" and it did make her chuckle but also made her stomach churn. She has always had this desire to be liked, and when people didn't like her, she hated it.

She hadn't realised how long she had been scrolling but suddenly Matty was standing in front of her, his shadow casting over her features, but even that didn't make her eyes leave her phone.

He called her name: no reply. It wasn't until he was pressing his fingers against her chin lightly that she looked up at him.

"Ready to go love?" He asks, his features soft as he looks down at her, thumb gently running along the apple of her cheek, feeling like something wasn't quite right.

She tries her hardest to push the thoughts away, and does so quite successfully. She nods up at him, taking his hand as she stands.

"So I think John, Hann and I are going to go to this record store" Ross explains and Lou, Matty and George nod. Jamie, Jamie (manager) and Polly agree to stay at the hotel, needing some alone time.

"We can meet somewhere throughout the day? I'll call you" He asks as he pulls her to his chest, hugging her tightly, before hugging the others. She quickly hugs Hann and John, saying their goodbyes.

Lou, George and Matty decide to go to a local park, walking along in the sunshine, talking about all sorts. They pick up an ice cream each along the way, each trying each other's flavors. Matty walks with his arm hung over Lou's shoulders and she takes pictures of them throughout the day.

A couple of fans notice them and kindly (and quietly) ask them for photos which they accept. They appreciate that they don't draw attention to them, letting them enjoy their day off in peace.

They continue walking along the park, stopping to look at the trees, to guess what type it was (as if any of them had a clue), Lou would often stop at different flowers, naughtily plucking a few and begging Matty to let her weave it into his hair.

"Stop being a pest" he chuckles as he attempts to push her hands away from his hair.

"C'mon Matty! You'd look adorable... Please" she pleads with a pout on her lips. Matty has to seriously resist the urge to place his mouth against hers to remove the pout.

"C'mon G help me out here" she says and George holds his hands up.

"I'm not helping you with anything" he says and she frowns.

"You're both boring old men now" she says, Matty and George share a look as mischief clouds their features. They both set their eyes on her and she knows she's screwed. They both run towards her, George picking her up off the ground by her waist, Matty quickly finds her sides, tickling her. She squirms in her best friend's arms and all three of them laugh way too loudly.

A few onlookers scowl at them as they walk past making them chuckle as she's set back on the floor.

"Miserable fuckers" George's says as they laugh. They continue their walk along the park together, eventually wandering off into town to meet the boys in a coffee shop Ross had told them to meet them at.

He had popped a heads up in their group chat (a new feature for their group) that a group of fans was crowding outside, not too many, about 4 or 5. He said they seemed nice enough and said they're hellos and then let them enter the shop.

Lou found herself getting nervous the closer they got to the coffee shop, what if they hated her? What if they were amongst the few that had started to post mean things on social media?

George seems to sense something is wrong and hooks his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. They see the group that Ross had texted them about, she spotted almost instantly the daggers they were shooting her way.

George's hand nearly slips from hers and she's quick to whisper "please don't let me go" to him, he doesn't need to be told twice, placing his hand firmly in hers.

The group are quick to say hello to Matty, pulling him in for hugs and pictures. George gives Lou a look as they look at him and she nods, letting go of his hand reluctantly. She awkwardly stands there, getting the sense they didn't want to say hello to her. They quickly took photos with George before they were saying goodbye.

George comes to stand next to her again, placing his hand back in hers and walking behind Matty into the shop.

He takes a step into the shop, door open, leaving Lou to still be out the door. They both hear the fans' words at the same time and she flinches as she sees the look on George's face.

"See you've moved onto George now... What a slag" one of them says as the others laugh meanly, it felt like she was back in high school. Although online comments hurt, she was quite good at distracting herself from it all, but in person was a whole new kettle of fish: it was completely unavoidable.

"G just leave it" she says, looking up at him silently begging him not to step back outside.

"They can't say shit like that to you" he says, voice loud enough for them to hear.

"It's fine G really. Let's just go inside" she says.

Matty hadn't noticed the two had stopped in the doorway so he proceeded to sit down with the other boys.

"What's going on with them?" Hann asks and Matty shrugs his shoulders.

"The fans probably wanted to say something else" Matty says, not knowing what had happened. If he did he would've been straight out there, telling them exactly what he thought of their mean words.

"Please G, drop it" she says, hearing them say more stuff behind them, things about how Matty's ex's were prettier than her, how she 'wasn't even that good' and how they could've got someone better to replace Carly.

He sees tears spring to her eyes and instantly steps into the threshold. He begins to say something to her as the door shuts but she interrupts him.

"I don't want to talk about it" she says as she moves to the table the guys are sitting at.

"Well I fucking do" George says, his voice raised, drawing all their attention to the lanky lad as he plonks himself down, arm wrapping round the back of her chair in defense, as if it would protect her. The waitress comes over and asks them what they'd  like to drink.

"Latte please" she says weakly. The waitress looks at George who doesn't meet her eyes, making her awkwardly walk away.

"Care to explain what's going on?" Ross says, getting completely ignored by the both of them. Matty's eyes flick between the both of them, utterly lost.

"You say you don't want to talk about it as if that's not the first time that's happened" George says, she can't look at him because she knows exactly how he'd look.

Pupils blown wide in anger, facial features furrowed  and the vein on his neck would be popping out. She knew the look all too well, having seen it on many occasions in the past, most of them when she had broken up with someone or someone had treated her badly: just like this occasion.

Matty looks at his best friend, seeing a look on his face that worried him, one which he rarely saw.

"What the hell are you two on about?" Matty then asks, and she looks at him, seeing how worried he looks, he sees the remnants of tears in her eyes and his hand quickly finds hers under the table, squeezing it tightly in his own. God she was thankful for him right now.

"Those fucking 'fans'" George says, fingers raising in the air to punctuate the word fans "said shit about Lou okay? And I get the impression it's not the first time"

They're all looking at her now, anger sketched across every single one of their features, even John looked angry and she didn't think that was possible. He was practically a walking marshmallow.

"It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Doesn't change anything" she says simply, trying not to get upset.

"Yes it fucking does" George says, his eyes softening as she flinches slightly, he places his arm on her shoulder, softly squeezing as if to say sorry.

"Alright George calm down, she doesn't need that right now" Matty says, usually that would be something Ross would say but she's so thankful it's him this time.

"Sorry I'm annoyed" he says, arms crossing as he huffs.

"We all are mate, but it's not exactly helpful is it?" Ross says.

"What have they been saying Lou?" Adam says, his words carefully spoken as not to press too much.

"Just silly comments about me being a slag. It's fine honestly"

"That is not fine" it's Matty who is talking now and she looks at him and frowns.

"Love they have no right saying shit like that" he then says, squeezing her hand again. The waitress brings over her coffee awkwardly, not wanting to disturb the heated discussion.

"There's nothing I can do about it. They think what they think and it's fine" she lies, eyes drifting down to her and Mattys intertwined hands, before looking at Matty, who was silently begging her to just tell the truth, sympathising with the fact she felt she had to lie to them.

"What did the ones out there say?" Ross points to the window, the people who were there now gone, which he's thankful for because he was one word from going out there and shouting at them.

"They said something about me moving onto George and then called me a slag" she says, looking down at her coffee cup, fiddling with the china.

"Moving on to G- Oh" Matty says, eyes finding hers again, eyebrows furrowing to say sorry, he shakes his head, letting her know she has nothing to say sorry for.

"I was just holding her hand" George explains, making the rest nod "That's why you needed that didn't you? You were worried they were going to say something" he asks and she nods at him.

"How long has this been happening?" John asks.

"A while...." She admits and in unison they all sigh.

"Love, why didn't you tell us? We would've-" Matty starts.

"Would've done what Matty? There's nothing you can do" she says, voice breaking slightly.

"We would've at least known Lou. We go through these things together, that's what family is'' Ross explains and she lets a rogue tear fall. She suddenly feels embarrassed that they're having this coffee in the middle of a random coffee shop (albeit an empty one with one waitress but still)

"I'm sorry" she says, her voice frail.

"You have nothing to be sorry about" Matty says, and she's the one squeezing his hand now.

"We will get through this together, if this happens again, you come to us and you tell us okay? Any one of us" Adam says and she nods.

They were a family after all.

They finish their drinks after that, they all stand from their chairs, slipping their jackets on.

"Think we're going to head back" Ross says and a few of the others nod. Matty and Lou share a look, explaining that they wanted to keep exploring and so they do. Ross is the first to pull her into a tight hug, only letting her go when her grip on him loosened. Adam is the next to squeeze her into his arms, his hand drifting along her back in a soothing motion.

George hugs her tightly next, whispering an "id kill anyone who would hurt you, you know that" and she smiles and nods as she pulls away. John gives a quick hug before they're all being ushered out by Matty, who secretly wanted nothing more to comfort her on his own now.

They continued walking along random paths, down streets that had little shops and stalls, popping into a few to see what they were selling.

At some point, Matty's hand brushes against hers and she grabs it, he looks down at their intertwined hands, a smile on his face.

"You sure?" He says, looking around to see if anyone was watching.

"We'll deal with the consequences together, yeah?" She asks and he nods, bringing their hands up to his mouth and pecking the surface of hers.

"Then I'm sure," she confirms. They walk around the rest of the day like that, eventually finding their way back to the hotel.

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They briefly wait outside the hotel, sharing a cigarette between them and sharing a few tight hugs, ones that let Lou know Matty had her. Before they're hiding away in their room because Matty can sense that she needs to be alone (with him of course).

She finds a comfortable position on his chest as his arms wrap around her, keeping her warm and safe. Usually listening to someone's heartbeat would make her anxious, something about the rhythm impacting her own, but she felt grateful to hear his. She felt like it made her know him more, it was intimate, hearing when it picked up or slowed down, when it skipped a beat: it was like his own symphony and she was just fascinated by it.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice something was up” he says, frowning down at her, she simply shakes her head and presses a peck to his mouth, letting him know it was okay.

"Tell me what other people have said" he says softly, his fingertips flowing through her hair, the soft strands easily gliding in-between his fingers.

"I can't Matty it hurts too much" she admits now it's just them. She doesn't have to lie around him, or pretend she's fine when she's not. She can just be.

"I know love, I know. But talking about it might help" he says and she's turning in his arms then, looking over his features. He truly was a very handsome man, she never once questioned why fans fancied him so much. She lets out a deep sigh before she starts talking.

"Couple of people have said you guys could have hired someone better to replace Carly" he scoffs at that, placing a kiss against her cheek as he murmurs "there is no one better". One of the cracks in her heart heals at those words. She wants to tell him the one that hurts the most but she's scared: scared he'll confirm her worries, reject her thoughts and feelings (like so many had done previously).

She sighs deeply again, shutting her eyes as she says "someone... A few people actually… have said your ex's were prettier than me... Nicer... Better for you" she admits, her last admission is the one that destroys her. He's silent for way too long and her eyes snap open to see him.

She's rarely seen him look upset but God he looks upset now. His lips are set in a clear pout, the bottom one almost wavering as he sets his eyes over her features, his eyes almost glisten, he's not crying, but his eyes are like glass, tears almost threatening to spring.

"Lovie" he says, frowning down at her, she's trying to sense what he's thinking but falls short. What she would do to crawl inside his mind now.

"Want to know the truth?" He asks and she nods.

"Always" she says, partly worried she wouldn't like what he has to say.

"I compared every single one of them to you... It wasn't fair... Not on them because some, most of them were lovely. I never ever, not once, gave myself to someone fully... I looked for you in everyone. You made it pretty hard to be honest..." He admits laughing at his own confession and she doesn't know what to say. Another confession that shocks her to her core.

Her mouth opens before it's shutting again.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just know. Know that you, you are everything I have ever wanted and nothing came close to you. I'm never letting you go. You are living up to every single one of my expectations, superseding them even" he says. All she can do is press her mouth to his, letting him know everything she couldn't bring herself to say.

I love you, you're my person, no one has come close to you either, this is the best thing that has happened to me....

She knows one day she'll tell him but for now, she presses her lips to his, moving herself so her legs are resting either side of his body. His hands find her hips as his back leaves the bed, holding her against him as she straddles him.

She breaks away from him for a split second, removing her top, his eyes don't break from hers, not even to look at her chest which is now revealed. His stare is intense, one that would usually make her confidence falter, make her doubt herself, but now, basking in his light, she felt safe, seen. His stare tells her what he thinks of her, utterly obsessed and addicted.

He bridges the gap between their lips again, moving downwards after a few minutes of loving pecks. His lips find her neck, scattering loving kisses along the skin, just simple but firm pecks.

"You're beautiful" he says as he delivers a kiss to her collar bone. Hands drifting from her hips to her waist, taking his time with her, something that was yet to happen.

Everything so far between them had been rushed, each of them desperate to show each other their desire, their passion, their need for one another.

She wasn't scared this time, she was ready to have him in this way. To show each other they loved each other even if they couldn't bring themselves to say it.

His mouth finds the swell of her right breast, hovering over the warm flesh, lips coming down to press firm kisses to the skin. Her hands find the curls at the nape of his neck, playing with strands gently.

His breath is shallow, mind toying with the idea of undoing her jeans, but not wanting to rush the moment. She looks so perfect, sitting in his lap, her jean clad core flush against his. She felt him through her jeans, already solid and desperate for her.

"I'm so lucky" he murmurs against her chest as his hands find the clasp of her bra. His movements are far too slow for her liking, almost painfully so.

"Matty" she sighs as her bra finally comes undone, crumbling into his hands. He discards it somewhere unseen as his calloused fingertips toy with her flesh. His touch is gentle, barely there, but still manages to send shock waves of pleasure coursing through her entire body.

His fingertips delicately move across her nipples, making them pebble under his touch. She has never had anyone be this gentle with her before and it was the least she was expecting from a man like Matty. But he was always one to surprise her, everything she had learned about him so far had been a pleasant surprise, this perhaps her favourite of all. He would usually struggle to be this way with someone, but with her it almost came naturally to him, he needed, more than anything else, to show how how he truly felt.

"Want to take my time with you okay? Is that okay?" He asks, wanting them to be on the same page. She's nodding as he mouths at her skin, mouth wrapping around her nipple, sucking tenderly at the peaked bud. His lips move down in-between her breast, pressing against the necklace he gifted before reaching the other nipple, tongue teasing it gently. She can't help it as her hips rut against his at the amount of pleasure it causes her.

His hands move back down to her hips then and he's slowly lifting her, placing her onto the other side of the bed, back flush against the soft comforter.

Her hands find his shirt, lifting it over his head, revealing his tattooed chest. She stares at him from her place on their bed, how his thighs are parted, accommodating her small body, how the chest scattered with tattoos that she loves is clenching under touch, how he can't help but place his bottom lip in his teeth as he watches her.

Her eyes drift up to his face, his brown orbs almost perforating into her skin, clouded by something much greater than lust or desire: love. She can't count the amount of times he had changed his hair in the time she had known him, but this, this was her favourite, when the curls sat awry on his head, the grey strands drifting among the black, almost unnoticeable at a mere glance.

She was absolutely besotted with him and the fact didn't scare her anymore: she welcomed it.

Her lips are the ones to press against his skin now, dedicating a whole file in her mind to how he felt against her, how the centre of his chest dipped and how his waist curved inwards almost too much, reminiscent of the days in which he abused his body. He was healthier now and muscle had built up in the places where there once was only skin and bone. Even back then, through all the hate she found him beautiful, there was something about him that was unlike anyone she had ever met, but now she knows he is the most beautiful person both inside and out.

"You're beautiful Matty" she admits and the confession has him pulling her away from his chest, assaulting her lips in a passionate kiss. No one had ever used that word to describe him before and he found his heart jumped in his chest as he heard her say it.

His tongue moves against hers languidly, strong movements that have her eyes fluttering although already shut. Her small hands find his jaw, not wanting him to leave her mouth just yet, so he continues his ministrations, tongue curving around hers as sighs fall from one person to the other. She feels stubble under her fingertips and she smiles against his mouth, breaking them apart for a second.

He stares into her eyes, pupils blown wide matching her own. Their lips are both swollen, cheeks tinted red as they smile at each other.

His hands find the button of her jeans "may I?" He asks. "Please do" she says quietly.

He tugs them down her legs, careful not to be too aggressive with his actions. He wanted to show her how he truly felt about her, he needed to show her how grateful he was that she was here, with him. He knows she could have any guy in the world but she wanted him, he knew if he thought about that fact he's ego would inflate too much so he focuses on her.

He's quick to rid himself of his own jeans, making her chuckle before his body is resting above hers again.

He chuckles "sorry got a bit excited" he says making her giggle under him.

His mouth finds hers again in another round of passionate kissing. His hand drifts along her skin again, drifting along her now exposed thighs.

He hooks her right leg over his hip, flattening his core against hers, she sighs at this, mouth agape. It felt like every sense of hers was heightened, such a simple gesture making her see stars. He hadn't even properly touched her yet and she already felt on cloud nine.

"Matty, please touch me" she pleads, eyes finding the man above her. His features soften at her words, he doesn't say anything, simply lets his hand drift in between her thighs, meeting her underwear with the pads of his fingers.

One touch and she's moaning into his mouth, it was barely audible but he heard it. His fingers hook into her underwear pulling them down until she's revealed to him.

"So so beautiful" he murmurs, lips finding the shell of her ear.

His touch is feather light against her folds, carefully pressing up into her, making blissful sighs fall from her mouth, making sure he catches everyone with his own. She feels every ridge, every crease and indent in his fingers, the pads calloused from years of playing guitar. His fingers were rough in every sense of the word, a juxtaposition of how they were moving against her.

"So wet for me" he sighs.

He presses two fingers gently inside her, resisting the urge to press his own hips into hers at how she clenches around him. Airy gasps and moans are captured by his mouth.

"Matty" he would never tire of her saying his name. His cock pulses under the confines of his boxers, the way she's saying his name, like it's the only one she knows, it satisfies his deepest desires. He's curving his fingers up into her now, caressing the deepest parts of her, the spongy bundle of nerves being massaged with every deliberate trust.

"Matty" she sighs "I need you" she says and he groans into her.

"Don't worry I've got you, love" he says, knowing exactly what she needed because he needed the same thing. She helps him rid himself of his underwear, her hands wander in-between their bodies, grasping his hard member in her hands, he shakes his head, not needed the foreplay right now, he just needed her, desperately. He quickly finds his place back in-between her hips, leg hooking onto his hip as the tip of him threads through her cunt.

He slowly pushes all the way in, bottoming out as they sigh together. He holds himself there, deep inside her as she adjusts to the size of him, it wasn't their first time but it felt different like this, more intense. All she can do is grip him, making sure he doesn't move from her, she needs him here, close.

"My love.... Oh my love" he sighs against her ear, needing a minute to adjust as she clenches around him.

He places gentle kisses against her closed eyelids and they snap open as he draws his hips back slowly, pushing back in when the head of him reappears.

Their eyes never waver from each other, holding contact throughout. His movements are deep and meaningful, languid strokes of his hips sending his cock into places he had never reached before. His grunts are quiet, delivered into her ear so only she can hear.

His hand grips her bent knee at his hip, the angle forcing his cock into her sweet spot with every intentional thrust of his hips. Her mouth falls open against his chest, sighing into the skin, not wanting anyone to hear them. This moment was about them and them only.

Her mouth opens and then shuts, not able to speak with the amount of pleasure that was creeping its way up her spine.

He wants nothing more than to tell her he loves her but he's afraid she'll run away if he does. His pelvis is pressed against her clit with how deep he is and she's sighing into his mouth at the feeling.

She takes his hand in hers, pressing it against her abdomen " feel how deep you are Matty. No one has ever been this deep before" she groans. Her words have him almost cumming on the spot and his movements falter for a second, causing him to tip forward suddenly, sending him up and into her harshly, not the pace he wanted at the given moment. She gasps at the feeling regardless of whether he meant to or not.

"Keep saying stuff like that and I'll be done for" he says making her chuckle before the noise is replaced by a high pitched moan, his mouth pressing against hers to catch it.

This wasn't fucking, this was making love, their bodies telling each other everything they were too afraid to say.

A particular push forward of his hips accompanied by his fingers circling her clit has her sighing loudly, grasping his chin and forcing her lips against his. She didn't want anyone to hear this, this was a moment for just them, their own little secret.

"My beautiful darling girl" he grunts against her mouth.

"I lo-" he nearly says those words but her mouth presses firmly against his, not letting him say it just yet. He didn't need to because she already knew.

"I know" she says, nodding up at him, letting him know that she did too.

"Feel so good Matty" she sighs, his hips pulling out and pushing back in, her core convulsing around him, clenching against his girth as euphoria washed over her features. She was truly on cloud nine with him, everything else seeming to disappear.

"Fuck" he says, hips snapping forward a bit faster as he drew closer to his end.

Tears spring at her eyes as his hips pull back, snapping back in, the tip of him massaging her spot. Her eyes are closing as a tear falls, he’s kissing it away and her eyes open then. She had never felt Iike this before, not once had someone been able to make her feel this good. She was being loved the way she deserved.

"Matty" she sighs, back arching off the bed as her hands grip his back, pulling him closer if possible. His forehead rests against hers as he looks down at where they meet.

"Look how well you're taking me love. Fucking made for me" he says, her eyes snapping to where they're joined.

"Baby" she sighs. Her mouth hangs open, and he finds her eyes again, almost boring into her soul.

Euphoria takes over features and he knows she's close.

"Let go love" he says and that's all it takes. Her back arches even more off the bed and she all but sobs as a pleasure like she has never felt washes over her entire body. Her body spasms, her right hand resting against the pillows next to her head, he leans forward, grasping her hand in his.

"I've got you love, I've got you" he says, continuing his movements through her high. His mouth hangs open as his own high dawn's on him, he had never felt like this either. He had never really made love to someone before and he thought he'd feel vulnerable but with her, all he felt was loved.

"Oh god" he moans, hips spluttering forward as he reaches his own peak. He's cumming hard, harder than he thinks he ever has, long hot spurts of his cum coating her walls.

"So good" he says as their lips meet in one last passionate kiss. He pulls out of her, landing on his back next to her, completely high on everything that was her and this moment.

He pulls her to his chest, kissing her as she still comes down from her high.

"That was amazing" she sighs, completely fucked out. 

"You're amazing, thank you" he says and she smiles at him, pressing another kiss to his lips, simply not able to get enough.

"Thank you" she says. He gets up to clean them both off, checking if she needs anything before returning to her. They stare at each other for a while, stupidly happy smiles resting on their lips.

Lou eventually presses her cheek against Matty's bare chest, her fingertips trailing across the skin, down to his torso, light touches drifting along his collar bones, in between his pecs, along the centre of his abdomen, finally caressing the "we are kings" tattoo she has grown to love.

Matty was breathing lightly above her, post orgasm high still coursing through his body, his own fingertips playing with her hair, occasionally pressing kisses against the top of her head.

The scene was something they had both grown comfortable with now, they craved it all hours of the day: up on stage in front of thousands of people, just among their friends and especially when it was just the two of them.

He began humming something, something unrecognisable but unmistakably pretty.

"Sounds pretty" she says, her voice barely a whisper.

"Pretty?" He asks, moving the hair from her face so he could see her. She looks up at him from her place on his chest, nodding and smiling when his face crunches up, not liking her confession.

"Don't want our music to sound 'pretty' love" he admits.

"Well it does, so deal with it" she says, turning to get a better look at him. She places a kiss on his scrunched up nose.

She wriggles about for a bit, trying to get comfortable, he grunts above her as she stabs and pokes him as she moves.

He doesn't mind though, he'd go through hell just for her needs. She finally settles, palms flat against his chest, her legs resting in between his parted ones, her face resting against her hands and she can finally see all of his face: including his untamed curls that sit askew atop his head.

He likes this position, he can see her face too now, can see how her eyes sparkle as she looks at him and smiles. Despite the both of them being completely naked, neither felt vulnerable.

"'All I Need To Hear' is a pretty song.... So is inside your mind, this must be my dream, when we are together, about you ,Falling for you, tonight (I wish I was your boy) me and you together song " she says, listing songs of his she thought sounded pretty and he groans at that, making her laugh again.

"alright I get it love" he chuckles, cutting her off and making her laugh and she presses a kiss to his chest. 

"You're a pest you know that" he says and she nods up at him, smiling widely, making him smile too. His fingertips drift along her cheek, resting against her chin and pulling gently so she raises slightly. He presses his lips against hers then, making her sigh in bliss.

"You know you just listed several songs that were written about you" he says, making her shoot up to look at him.

"You can't tell me that," she says, making him laugh. She lies back down on his chest.

"Is my whole life a lie?" She says dramatically (on purpose) making him laugh and place more kisses against her lips.

"Tell me you love me" he murmurs against her lips, she wants nothing more than to break away and talk about his words but she can't bring herself  to do so quite yet. So she allows him to keep pressing gentle kisses to her lips, getting carried away when he starts to press firmer ones, ones where his tongue peeks through his lips and presses against hers. After what had just happened she supposed it needed to be said. She feels him pull her away and her eyes open to find him.

"Tell me you love me" he repeats, his voice barely audible in the large hotel room. She thinks she knows him quite well now, and she thinks she knows why he's asking her.

"Can't seem to bring yourself to say it first?" She asks, whispering back at him. He's scared, although he has no reason to be.

"If I tell you that..." He begins but his voice trails off. He was truly scared that if he opened his heart in that way, she would reject him, or things would go wrong, afraid he'd lose her.

"Matty" she says, and his eyes shut, not wanting to look at her. One look and he'd be spilling his heart out.

"Matty, baby look at me" she says firmly making his eyes drift open to look at her again.

"You know you're not going to lose me right? Especially after what just happened" She says and he nods hesitantly.

"Matty, I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me now I'm afraid" she says. He simply leans down to kiss her again. The kiss is more passionate than the last one they shared.

"I love you sweetheart" he says as he pulls away, his eyes are tearing up slightly and she smiles a soft smile at him.

"I know Matty, I know. I love you too, more than anything" she admits before pressing her lips to his again.  She goes to pull away but he lightly pulls her forward by the necklace that rests around her neck, the necklace he got her, the necklace that proves to the both of them that he's hers and she is his.

"Not ready for you to leave quite yet" he mumbles against her lips.

"Okay Matty" she smiles against his mouth.

They cuddle after that, Matty is the little spoon for a while before he's turning them, insisting on "wrapping the woman he loved" as he so blatantly put it, up in his arms.

He's repeating the three words throughout the night, some of them she heard, some of them she didn't (having fallen asleep in his arms) but that was okay. He had years of catching up to do, might as well get a head start he thought.

They were truly insatiable, waking every few hours and making love, various I love you's falling into the empty room. Each time seemed to be more intense than the last, until both of them are nearly crying into each other. They laughed with each other about how pathetic it was, but they were happy. The happiest either of them had ever been.

Part 8

Note: hope everyone liked this chapter, please let me know what you think and what you want to see... Even if it's not something directly linked to the story, could just be a Matty x Lou concept... Also help everyone is doing okay despite everything. Remember I love you

[lewisyellowhelmet]

soft sound

matty healy x named!ofc (18+)

summary: matty doesn't go to his own house after the show. he goes to hers.

By the time Matty arrives, she’s almost asleep. 

In some pre-dream she’d heard the front door open, rooms away. A moment of guilt for not having left the hallway light on. She can see her spare key next to the one for his own big house. Pearl doesn’t open her eyes, willing sleep to come anyway, despite the distraction. She can hear him opening the kitchen cabinets, the sound of liquid into a glass. She can imagine his fingers curved around the wine bottle, the rich redness of it. The ringing sound of him setting it on the counter. She’s watched him pour it so many times, the same easy movement, the way he wets his lips as if he can already taste the acidity. 

The patio door sliding open, his footsteps closer now, just in the next room. She can almost smell the cigarette smoke, a memory curling around her nose. She wrinkles it. She can taste it on her breath, the harsh scent of it. She wonders if he has pulled the second chair around, the one she sits beside him on. If he’s used it to put his feet on, if they’re sore from the show, jumping around. There’s a stranger in her house, using her things, drinking her wine, moving furniture like he belongs here. She feels no fear. Something like comfort is settling around her heart, making space in her chest. It’s enough just to know he’s close. 

Sleep is edging closer, the longer he stays away from the bedroom. She can feel his presence, the promise of his limbs tangled with hers. It soothes her, a heavy hand stroking over her body. A dreamscape beckons. She doesn’t hear Matty open the patio door again, the slide of it, close it behind himself. Numbed by sleep. Only when a shape leans over, her name is spoken, cold fingers brush hair out of her face, does she awaken again. 

  “Pearl,” he’s just said, “are you awake?”

  “No,” she mumbles, but doesn’t turn away from his hand as it skips over her cheek bone, a thumb over her mouth, feeling her speak. 

  “Can I sleep in your bed?” He asks. 

  She wonders what he would do if she said no, rolled over, tugged the covers up around her chin. Pearl keeps her eyes shut when she says, yeah. 

  He doesn’t bother walking around to the other side, just starts pulling things out of his pockets and finding space to leave them on the side table, keys, his phone, a lighter, three pound. The coins clank together. She opens her eyes when he starts unbuttoning his shirt, fingers skimming over the white material. His head his bowed, dark hair over his face. She reaches out to tug the shirt out of his waistband, feel the fabric between her fingertips. She can feel the tense in his stomach as he breathes in, the release as he breathes out. Matty shrugs out of the shirt, leaves it crumpled on the floor. His hands go to his belt, unzip, and she pulls her hand back to the safety of the bed, begins to shift back to the middle of the mattress, start to make space for him. 

His body is chilly as it slides in beside her. Aligns to the shape of her. She squeaks at his cold hands on her ribs, her spine. 

  “You’re so warm, share it with me,” Matty whines, cold nose nuzzling into her neck. The smell of smoke pervades her clean sheets. 

  “You’re freezing,” she groans, attempting to peel him off her, but he clings like a child. He’s stronger than her. 

  “Stop moving,” he tells her, half a laugh, holding her down so she can’t wriggle away. She’s giggling, enjoys the play fight. 

  They don’t talk about the gig. They don’t talk about the thousands in attendance. They don’t talk about what happened in New York. 

  Instead, he whispers about how warm she is, curling his hand in her hair. Pearl still feels the pull of sleep, it’s hard to keep her eyes open. She wants to ask him what the time is, but is afraid to know. His leg is in between hers. She wants to take her pyjamas off so she can feel his skin. He’s kissing her head now, his mouth on her hair, then her forehead, a gentle graze of his lips over her eyebrow, the very tip of her nose. 

  “Darling girl,” he says, the rasp of his voice. She can hear how worn out it is. A world tour will do that. 

  “Here I am,” she murmurs, tilts her head back so he can access her whole face, kiss her cheek, her jaw, her chin. 

  “Here you are,” Matty echoes, something reverent. He breathes against her mouth. Her hand flattens against his chest. She can imagine he curling lines of ink under her clean palm. 

  “Do you have work in the morning?” He asks. 

  “Is it a weekday?”

 “Don’t be mean,” he whines, nips at her nose, “I’m just a silly pop star, remember?”

 “Mmm,” she hums, her fingers skating up to his collarbone, the line of his throat. He keeps looking at her mouth. 

  “Yes, I have work,” Pearl says, as he runs the tip of his finger over her eyelashes. His thigh is pressing up into the crux of her body. Just a suggestion. 

  “I’ll make the coffee,” he promises. 

  “I only have oat milk.” 

  “I’ll survive.” 

He’s kissing the lobe of her ear, the pulse in her neck. Her lips feel cold from the lack of attention. When he speaks she can feel it vibrating on her skin, like he’s pressing the words into her. A scarring. 

  His big hand is on her stomach, fingertips slipping into the waist of her pyjamas. Her body sparks. 

  “Is it very late?” She asks, finally getting the nerve. She doesn’t know what the cut off time is. If it’s after two would she stop this? After three? Is there a line?

  “Do you really want to know?” Matty says, but withdraws his hand, leaves it on her hip. 

  “Maybe not.” 

  “I’ll make the coffee really strong,” he says. 

  “Is it that bad?” 

He laughs, a quiet, secret one that makes her smile, “It’s not good.” 

   Maybe it’s close to dawn. Make the light will peek through the curtains soon. Matty is smiling at her, eyes glinting, and she’s smiling at him. She does’t care what the time is. Pearl takes his hand from her hip, lays it over her breast. Matty breathes in, his fingers already scrabbling with the buttons of her pyjama shirt so he can get inside it, under it, his palm a warm pressure over her nipple. His thigh presses up between her legs. 

  “Can you help me get undressed,” she whispers, shifting onto her back. Matty is so quick to follow her he almost falls. 

  “Yes, of course,” he tells her, up onto his knees, throwing off the covers. The cold is sudden, her body revealed to the night air. Made worse by Matty helping her out of her top, her nipples hardening. He takes his time with her pants, following the retreating material with his mouth, kissing down her thighs, under her knees, the muscle of her calves. His eyes drag over her when she’s naked, and she wriggles under them. 

  “I’m cold,” she tells him. 

  “Let me look for a second,” Matty says. 

  “It’s too dark to even see anything.” 

  “I can see,” he says, his voice heavy. Pearl feels a bit like a painting, an art piece. Laid still underneath him for his viewing pleasure. 

  “You want me to warm you up?” He asks, shifting her so he can get between her legs, still in his underwear, black material clinging to the hard line of him. It makes her dizzy that she can get him like that just from being naked. Just from him looking at her. 

  “Yeah,” she says, her hands folded over her chest. He picks them up, brings them to his mouth, encased in his. He breathes hot air into the opening of her fingers, like he’s coaxing a fire. Pearl watches, enraptured. 

  When he lifts his head from their hands, he’s smiling, a curl fallen out from where it was safely tucked behind his ear to lie against the line of his cheek. 

  “Thank you,” she says. 

  “All warmed up?”

  She shakes her head, loose hair rustling on the pillow. Matty frowns, over dramatic. 

  “No? Where else are you cold?” 

  She blushes, but twitches her hips. Matty’s face lights up. 

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Mmmhmm.”

  “Let me see what I can do,” he assures her, rakes a hand through his hair. Pearl has a sudden memory of the first time they did this. A shitty apartment. The horrible way it snows in Manchester. The smell of weed. 

  His mouth is hot and wet on her, lavishes his attention. She squirms and pants, tugging on his hair. He’s easily guided. He knows what she’s going to ask for her before she gets the chance to say it. Harder. Lower. Slower. His big hands span her thighs, holding her open and steady for him. Her feet flex. She groans as he gets a finger inside her, two, crooks them towards himself. He shifts, pressure increasing, and she cries out. Matty is lying prone on the bed, and she can see how he’s grinding into the mattress when she lifts her head up

  “Do you wish that was me?” She asks, breathless. Matty looks up at her, fingers still pushing in and out. His mouth is shiny. He looks dazed.

  “So badly,” he says, nodding for too long. He seems overwhelmed by the experience, turns to sink his teeth into her thigh. 

  “It can be,” she tells me, and feels him groan into her. He turns his head, mouth dragging over where she’s wet and pink. Licks into her, over and over. Her orgasm is small but enough, her knees tight around Matty’s head, holding him there. He doesn’t stop until she yanks his head away, oversensitive, lifting his head up like a rag doll, black hair clumped around her fingers. He’s grinning. 

  “Again,” he says, voice raw. She laughs at him, her body warm and relaxed. 

  “Don’t be greedy.” 

He’s a pleasant weight as he crawls up her body, comes up to lie over her, supported on one elbow. She helps him out of his underwear, drags fingers over his hips, his ribs, the muscle of his shoulders. 

  “I love you so much,” he tells her, earnest and boyish. Pearl smiles, tucks his hair behind his years. Silver threads. 

  “I know you do.” 

He’s hot and thick against the opening of her. Matty seems to be satisfied with her answer, or chooses not to press it, reaches between them to help himself into her, a steady push that makes her eyes roll back. 

  “Fuck,” she says, wraps her arms around him to bring him low and close to her, his face in her neck as he finds a familiar rhythm. It makes her delirious. He’s saying nonsense against her jugular, shifting to bend one of her legs back against to her body, his hand under her knee, opening her up more for him. 

  “Is that good?” He pants, like he doesn’t know the answer every time is yes, yes, yes. Pearl reaches for his face, kissing him messily. He tastes like her, his tongue eager. 

  “Matty,” she gasps, when he gets a good angle, sat back on his heels, her legs in his hands as he fucks into her, his necklace sticking against the planes of his chest. 

  “I know,” he says, “I know, I know. You feel so good.” 

She wants to thrash and scream, settles for her a breathless sob and grabbing at his shoulders. He curls over her, forehead to forehead. She can taste his breath, hot air passed between them, lung to lung. 

  “I’m really close,” Pearl says, reaching between them to rub over where they meet. Matty knocks her hand away, does it himself, knows her body too easily. She can see how he’s working to keep the rhythm for her and not chase his own orgasm, his jaw loose and eyes glazed. 

  “Oh my god,” she cries, everything in her tightening. 

  “Do it, do it,” Matty is saying, “Let me see.”

She can hear him from very far away as she arches up into his embrace, held down by the weight of him, holding her safe and close as he fucks her through it. This orgasm is whole and overwhelming. Matty inside her and over her and around her. 

  She lies limp and lax when it’s over, one arm draped over him, gazing up at him in worship. Matty looks like he wants to eat her whole. 

  “Is it okay if I - ,” He starts, but she’s already urging him on.

  “Yes, yes, come in me. I want it.” 

  “Oh fuck,” he says, hastening, his movements urgent and rough, “Oh, fuck. You want it, you want it.” 

  “I want it so bad,” she tells him, wrapping her legs around him, holding his face in her hands. He looks young, his face blurring into every single time she’s had him like this, begging for her. Matty screws his eyes shut, mouth hanging open, his head heavy in her hands as he comes, fucking messily into her. 

Pearl feels sleep close at hand, even with Matty a boneless weight on her, still dripping out between her legs. 

  “Are you okay?” She whispers, her lips against his temple. The sweat is making them stick together. 

  “Yeah,” he says against her throat, “Just resting. Are you?” 

  “Sleepy,” she says, fingers careful at the base of his spine. He gets ticklish there. 

He seems to draw his energy together, willing his muscles to work, before he gets up, fumbles his way to the bathroom. He returns with a damp face cloth and her full water bottle. 

  “How romantic,” Pearl teases him, even as he drops the cloth unceremoniously on her belly and takes a long swallow from her bottle before he passes it to her. He waits for her to clean herself before he takes the cloth, throws it back towards the bathroom where Pearl hears it land on the tiled floor. 

This time, when Matty gets in bed beside her, he’s warm, fitting his body around hers. The duvet is almost too hot now. Her breathing is still unsteady. 

  “Don’t let me snooze the alarm,” Pearl tells him, her spine curved to his chest. Matty presses his mouth to her bare shoulder, a lazy kiss. 

  “I won’t.” 

  “Remember you’re making the coffee.”

  “I remember.” 

Sleep is an old friend, willing her towards it. Her body feels overworked and exhausted. Matty is draped over her like a favourite blanket. 

[graciegoeskrazy]

one more fight - she's begging you to stay stay part THREE

Matty Healy x lost!OFC!daughter!r

part 1 part 2

Warnings: crying, mourning/death of a parent, mention of running away, school lol, idk really, angst, ft George a bit

A/N: Idk how I feel about this but I think it's good. I had this way longer originally but the rest will just be separate parts. Some if the rest isn't s angsty (who IS she??) I like it. When Liam Payne died this reminded me that this is basically “I got adopted by one direction” fan fiction so now I hate it all actually but whatever

It had been a week since you attempted to run away from home, and a week since you decided to try calling this place home.

The days had been strange and tentative, each one blending into the next. You were slowly piecing together routines, latching onto anything that made you feel settled, though part of you wasn’t ready to trust the feeling. School, of all things, had become a useful distraction. It wasn’t that you suddenly loved studying or cared much about what grades you’d get—just that there was comfort in the rhythm of it. It gave you something to think about other than Matty or Mum. With midterms looming, you had a convenient excuse to keep your head down, keep to yourself, and attempt to be unnoticeable.

Your room, the biggest you’d ever had, still didn’t feel entirely like yours, Since the night Matty found your diary and read how you truly felt about staying, you’d been slowly adding little pieces of yourself to it—posters, knickknacks, little things that might make it feel like you belonged there. Nothing too bold or permanent, just small touches, as if you were testing how much of yourself you could leave behind in this space without making it obvious. It was easier to imagine Matty noticing and disapproving, though he’d only ever tried to show how much he wanted you to feel loved.

Every morning he’d check in, a soft knock on your door, asking if you needed anything. He never asked outright if you were okay or if you wanted to talk, and you only assumed it was because he knew that was too much to ask, too soon. Instead, he let you take each day as it came, hoping that small gestures—a cup of tea, your favorite snack he’d bring home for you, a movie night he’d suggest but would never force—would show you that this was, in his eyes at least, home for as long as you wanted it to be. Maybe even for good.

Yet the question lingered in the air between you both, like a thread that neither one of you wanted to pull. The question of staying. You hadn’t spoken about it since the night he found your diary, and though you’d been too mortified to say anything then, you wondered now if he’d been waiting all along for you to come to him and make it real with words. But for now, you settled into the quiet in-betweens, letting the weeks go by without saying anything final, and instead working to leave small pieces of yourself where you hoped they might take root.

…….

You never heard the quiet rumble of the car outside or the front door shutting. It was only when the light spilling through your bedroom door shifted into the shadow of a man that you finally turned around. Matty stood there, dressed in black with his wallet and keys in hand, dress shoes still on—he hadn’t even bothered to drop them off by the door. He’d come straight to you. “What the bloody hell are you doing up at this hour?” he asked. You rolled your eyes, too exhausted for his lecturing, and turned back to your work.

“Studying,” you said calmly.

He walked toward you, his tone firm but holding no anger or malice. “Not at one in the morning! You should be in bed. I told you I wanted you asleep by the time I got home.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, not looking up from your work.

He sighed, setting his keys and phone down on your desk. “Did you eat dinner?”

“Yes,” you replied, a little too quickly.

He scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, so we’re lying now, are we?” You shot him a confused look. “I checked my credit card charges,” he added, shrugging with a smile. You rolled your eyes and turned back to your study guides. But before you could get back to work, he closed your laptop and began shutting the books on your desk. “It’s time for bed.”

“No, I’m busy.” You said, starting to open everything back up. Matty started closing everything again as soon as you did, putting more books into your backpack beside your desk.

He laughed, which pissed you off even more, “Don’t tell me ‘no’, it’s time for bed.” You ignored him, opening your laptop and trying to resume working, but it was no use, he just kept shutting everything off around you,

"Stop," His voice was firm, cutting through the air. The word felt heavier than it should, a gentle command that broke through the walls you had been trying so hard to keep up. Your body reacted instantly, curling in on itself as if his voice had unlocked something inside you. You pulled your knees to your chest and clamped your hands over your eyes, as though covering them could make the world go away. The tears you'd fought all night surged forward, warm and relentless. The sobs you’d been choking back finally broke free, trembling out in small gasps, filling the silent room.

For a moment, you felt nothing but the weight of it all—your sadness, your anger, the uncertainty that seemed to wrap itself around you like a second skin. You couldn’t stop shaking, the tears pouring out faster than you could handle, but before you could drown in them, you felt Matty slowly shift beside you. His hand wraps around your wrist. It wasn’t forceful, just a quiet, persistent tug, and you let him pull your hand away from your eyes. Your vision blurred through the tears as you blinked up at him, trying to make sense of his face through the haze of emotions.

"Come here," he murmured, his voice softer now, the firmness replaced by something warmer, something that felt like home. His arms opened prompting you to come to him.

Without thinking, you moved. The space between you two disappeared in a second as you pushed yourself off your desk chair and stumbled into him. You buried your face in his chest, your body shaking as his arms came around you, pulling you in tightly like he was trying to piece you back together. His chin rested on top of your head, and you could hear the steady thump of his heartbeat, a rhythm that began to steady your own.

"It’s okay," he whispered into your hair, his voice a soothing tone against the storm raging inside of you. "I’ve got you. Let it out."

You sobbed harder, your fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt as if clinging to him could stop you from falling apart completely. He didn’t flinch, instead, his hands moved in slow, comforting circles across your back. His touch was light but steady, grounding you with each stroke. He rocked you gently, the motion slow and rhythmic like he was trying to lull you out of the darkness with nothing but his presence.

"Shh," he murmured again, his breath warm against your hair, "You’re safe. I’ve got you."

His words wove their way into the cracks of your heart, slowly calming the tidal wave of emotions crashing inside of you. The ache in your chest began to ease, though the tears kept coming. You hadn’t realized how badly you needed this, how much you’d been holding back until this moment. The dam had broken, and now there was no stopping the flood.

But he didn’t seem to mind. He just held you tighter, wrapping his arms around you like a shield, protecting you from the world. He leaned back slightly, shifting his position so that you could sink further into his embrace, his arms cradling you like he was afraid you might disappear if he let go.

“You’re okay,” he repeated, his voice steady. Each word felt like it was unraveling the tight knots that had wound themselves deep in your chest, loosening the tension that had been building since your mom died. You weren’t sure how long you’d been crying, but he never left your side, never pulled away,

The warmth of his body seeped into yours, and slowly, the sobs began to fade. Your breaths, though still shaky, came easier now, and the iron grip you had on his shirt began to soften. You felt heavy—exhausted, drained—but somehow lighter at the same time, as if some weight had been lifted. His hands never stopped moving, rubbing soothing patterns across your back, his thumb tracing slow, comforting circles over your shoulder blade.

He didn’t push you to speak. He didn’t pry or prompt you to explain. All he did was hold you, shushing your tears, whispering that everything was going to be okay. And it was you who chose to break the silence, your voice muffled against his shirt as you continued to cry into him.

“I just miss her,” you whispered, your words broken by the tears that hadn’t fully subsided.

He paused for a moment, letting the weight of your words hang in the air. The only sounds were your quiet hiccups and the soft rustle of his breath as he held you tighter.

“I know,” he finally said, his voice gentle, full of understanding.

“I just...want to see her again.”

“I know, baby-”

“And I’m so tired.” The exhaustion wasn’t just physical at this point.. Every part of you was worn thin, stretched beyond breaking.

“I know,” he whispered again. “But pushing yourself like this, studying until you can’t see straight, working every second of every day... it won’t bring her back, love. It won’t take away the hurt.”

His words settled in your chest, heavy but true. You felt the warmth of his breath on your forehead as he pressed a kiss there. He then spoke words that would take a while to itch out of your brain, “You don’t have to be so strong all of the time, kid.” You continued to let the small tears flow off of your cheeks and onto his shirt, “You can ask your help every once in a while, you know that right?” You didn’t nod or answer, just stayed still, letting his words sink in.

He looked at you as he spoke, “You’ve had a long day,  I’ll bet money your exams will go just fine, and deep down, I think you know that, too.” He pulled back slightly, his eyes soft but serious. “But if you don’t get some rest, you’ll be too tired to keep your eyes open for any exam you take.” His fingers brushed a stray tear from your cheek. “It’s time for sleep now, love.” You just nodded as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Go get changed. I'll be right here.” You slowly pried yourself off of him, the chill in the air coming back without his warmth.

You grabbed one of the pajama sets from your dresser and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door behind you with a soft click. The momentary silence felt heavy, almost suffocating after the outpour of emotions just moments before. The fluorescent light buzzed faintly as you turned it on, casting a harsh glow on your reflection in the mirror.

For a second, you just stared. Your face was blotchy and red, eyes swollen from crying, dark circles lingering beneath them from nights of restless sleep. It was hard to recognize yourself like this—so raw, so vulnerable. A completely different person than the one you were mere months ago. You reached up to rub at your cheeks, your fingers brushing over tear-streaked skin, but the feeling lingered deeper than the surface.

You dried your face, tugging on your pajama top and slowly made your way back out of the bathroom. Matty was still sitting where you left him, his expression soft but watchful as you re-entered the room. He didn’t say anything, just gave you a small, reassuring smile, patting the spot beside him.

And without thinking, you went to him, letting the quiet between you two speak for itself.

He moved out of the way and moved the covers down, prompting you to get in. He pulled them up once you settled in and started fluffing your pillows. His gaze finally met yours once he got you settled and he couldn’t help the small frown on his face when he saw your eyes, still full of tears.

“Shh. It’s alright my love.” he said, voice almost a whisper, secretly trying to lure you to sleep

You looked at him with those big doe eyes of yours. The ones he has become very accustomed to. “Will you stay with me?” you asked, voice barely a whisper.

It took everything in your father to not cry in that moment, seeing you so small, so fragile. So terrified of what was to come made his heart shatter into a million pieces. “Of course I will.” He said.

Once he took his place next to you, you wasted no time, immediately finding a spot against him and his chest. He held you tighter as you cried into him. He didn’t say a word, yet you felt the most supported you’ve ever been. It almost felt as if a weight started to lift off of you. Eventually, your sobs subsided. The amount of crying in that short time was enough to wear you out during your barely conscious state, He was still in his dress shirt and pants, not that he cared. All he could think about was you. He didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to let go of you.

…….

George bursted through the door, slamming it loudly. Not aware of your sleeping form on the couch, You were cuddled into your father, asleep, face hiding in his chest while your legs were sprawled out on the rest of the couch. To Matty’s surprise, his loud, booming voice didn’t wake you. Matty shut him up before he could continue. “Shhhh! Shut up will you!” he whispered. If he could’ve shouted he would.

George abruptly stopped when his eyes caught sight of you. “Christ, is that her?”

“No, it’s another 12-year-old who lives in my house.” George rolled his eyes. Matty continued, “She’s still asleep. Come sit.” He nodded towards the chair next to him.

He saw George’s hesitant look as he slowly crept to the couch, his eyes never leaving your sleeping form. Matty noticed the way his gaze hovered over you as he took slow, calculated steps towards the chair, afraid a creek in the floorboard would wake you up. He spoke as he sat down. “Why so tired? It’s barely 3?”

Matty shrugged, “She’s been up late. Barely sleeps through the night since Flo died. Being up through the night studying for her exams sure didn’t help.”

George quietly sighed. “Poor girl.” He looked at you once more, paying attention to your features, now having a proper chance. “Christ, she looks just like you.” He said, almost a whisper.

Matty looked up at him quickly. “You think?” He said, not bothering to hide the smile on his face.

“Without a doubt.”

Matty hummed, looking at you again, “Acts like me too, stubborn as hell.”

George let out a small laugh before quickly responding. “Nah, I don’t imagine she’s as big of a pain in the ass as you.”

Matty rolled his eyes. “Oh shut-”

“Dad?”

Both men panicked when they heard the timid and groggy sound of your voice. You were still half asleep, not even bothering to open your eyes all the way. The sun peeking in through the living room windows was too bright anyways,

“I’m sorry I woke you, my love.” He whispered sweetly. “Go back to sleep, darling.”

You rubbed your eyes as if doing so would get rid of the tiredness in them. “What are you doing?” You asked while stretching.

“Nothing, just talking with George. Come here, come back to sleep, my love.” You didn’t argue, just fell limp again into his arms. Matty smiled down at you as George breathed a sigh of relief.

“Shush,” Matty said to him.

“Me shush? You're the one who woke her up!” He whisper-shouted,

Matty shrugged and repeated. “Shush.”

“She’s been doing alright otherwise?” George asked, his pettiness now replaced by pure concern.

Matty smiled as he continued his mindless movements of rocking you back and forth, “As good as she can be. All things considered.”

George hummed. “...And you? You doing alright there ‘Dad’?’

Matty sighed as he looked between his best friend and his daughter, his shoulders falling slump. “...I don’t know. I just…Sometimes I can’t believe she’s mine. Not because of everything that’s happened, but because she just seems…too good for me.”

As much as George wanted to make a joke and say something stupid like well, most women are, he didn’t. He stayed silent, only nodding his head to prompt Matty to continue. “She’s so mature. Well beyond her years, sometimes I think she’s more mature than me. She’s smart. Really really fucking smart, way smarter than me…sometimes I wonder how i’m supposed to help her…grow.” 

“I think you’ve done much more and much better than your giving yourself credit for.”

He sighed, “She’s already amazing. I don’t want to fuck her up. She too perfect.”

George nodded “Maybe that part she gets from Flo.”

Matty smiled, knowing he was right.

[thefrontofmymind]

i’m not sure if you still take requests, but i would absolutely love a fluff/soft matty where he comforts an overwhelmed/overstimulated reader! i’m autistic and have sensory meltdowns from time to time, and all i can think about is how matty would understand (being a neurodivergent lad himself) and how he would put his hands over my ears to block out the noise or how he’d take me out for fresh air to get away from it 🥹

ofc only if you have the time!!

- ✨

Overwhelmed (matty healy x autistic!reader)

an: i hope this lives up to what you were hoping for love!! lmk <33

You either had the option of focussing on your guilt or the too-loud music and the too-bright lights. You promised Matty you would come with him to this party, you thought you’d be able to handle it–normally you could. But maybe it was the long week you had or the fact that you had to mask all freaking day that just made it impossible.

You were trying to focus on the conversation of the circle of people around you but you couldn’t stop fading in and out of the disassociation that was forcing itself to the front of your mind.

You just kept quiet, it was getting harder and harder to breathe and you couldn’t move. You got stuck staring into the dark pool of Coca-Cola in the glass in your hand–each bubble was reminiscent of your mind, slowly rising to the top until it burst.

You couldn’t even make out what anyone was saying by that point, it was all just a blur of gibberish and indistinguishable faces. 

Right when you needed him, Matty put his hand on your forearm, squeezing just enough to get your attention–it was the one thing that kept you from going numb altogether. When you looked at him he just raised his eyebrows at you–his look of concern, the way he would always silently check in on you, especially in settings like this. You didn’t need to tell him so explicitly that you were struggling to function, the slightest shake of your head was enough for him to know right where you were.

“Time to head off, I think?” He phrased it as a question, even though he knew your answer, to help you save face in front of the group of strangers around you. You were thankful for that.

You politely bid your goodbyes as best you could while still so fragile, before Matty directed you to the front door of the swanky Beverly Hills house that had been stressing you the whole evening.

The air outside was cool and fresh, just what you needed. Matty let go of your hand once you were outside, but still close enough to your side that if you wanted contact with him again, he was right there for you. This wasn’t his first rodeo, he was used to you needing space in times like these, but he always wanted you to know he was there for you, however you needed him.

“Ice cream on the way home?” He asked as you both made it back to his car.

“I just wanna go to bed,” you answered. “Too tired.”

Matty nodded. As he turned the ignition, he was quick to turn the radio off just as the car started, but he’d let you decide if you could deal with wind coming in through the windows.

You felt so much more comfortable once you had gotten into a pair of cosy pyjamas, and slipped into your’s and Matty’s bed with fresh cotton sheets that felt so cool against your skin. 

The only thing missing was Matty, your Matty. You had to fight to keep your eyes open until he was out of the shower and in bed next to you. You never felt more calm than cuddled into his side.

“I’m sorry,” you said, breaking a long string of silence between the two of you.

“What for?” He asked.

“You know…making you leave that party early…”

“Oh, don’t apologise for that,” he scoffed. “You were just doing what you needed to do, and I’ll always be there for you when you need me.”

You couldn’t fight the smile on your face. “You’re too good to me.”

He laughed and kissed the top of your head. “Cause I love you, Baby.”

[anatrik]

First thoughts TTPD:

What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!

1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10

2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?

3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10

4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺

5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂

6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.

7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.

8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever

9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.

12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.

13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.

14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?

15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10

16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.

17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10

18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10

19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10

20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10

21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10

22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10

23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10

24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10

25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.

26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷‍♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10

27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10

28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss

29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.

30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10

31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.

[shinycollarboneapologist]

MATTY HEALY

can i ask you a question? (the taylor!verse)

full masterlist

clandestine

its a simple formula, really: boy meets girl, girls meets boy. they fool around and find out that things aren’t actually so simple when the girl is your best friend’s little sister. (BBF!MATTY x OFC)

full masterlist

ROSS MACDONALD

good ones *

(* denotes ficlet/blurbs, ** denotes smut)

[crushculture03]

Happiness

Matty healy x O.C

Summary:

Julie Foreman has worked at dirty hit for 2 years now, finally she gets the chance to work and go on tour with her favorite band. When she finally meets the band her and matty instantly hit it off and sparks fly but will their love blossom or end up in flames...

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Prologue

Chp 1

Chp 2

Chp 3

Chp 4

Chp 5

Chp 6

Chp 7

Chp 8

Chp 9

Chp 10

Chp 11

Chp 12

Chp 13

Chp 14

Chp 15

Chp 16

Chp 17

Chp 18

Act 2

Chp 19

Chp 20

Chp 21

Chp 22

Chp 23

Chp 24

Chp 25

Chp 26

Chp 27

Chp 28

Chp 29

Epilogue

Hello everyone!

Ive had this idea for a matty fanfic for a while and finally decided to write it! I hope you all enjoy it!

this book is also available on wattpad and ao3! it’s the same username as my tumblr!

Some Info for the book

- based in 2021 the band is going on tour for noacf, Covid never happens in this book

- they'll be writing bfiafl in this book

- Charli and george are together as well and Adam and carly ofc

- there will be so smut scenes, im new to writing smut so they'll probably be tame at first

[bisluthq]

Anon really thought he was making a statement defending Joe. His ex is dating a football player and it’s being reported everywhere as the next “power couple”. I don’t think he wants her back, but of course he’d he bothered to listen and to talk about it. It’s really no big deal. It’s normal. Why can’t anons just let him live his life???

idk guys I want to ban Taylor x Joe talk because it’s objectively boring. No one did anything interesting. He tapped out, she hit up Matty Healy (mildly interesting in terms of how rock bottom one can go), Matty was all 😍😍😍 and she told Joe to go fuck himself and tripped and fell into Matty’s bed. Then that fucked out and now she’s with Travis and he’s super cool and like idk what anyone wants to say about the matter?

Shitty ofc because ending something that long is mad shitty but like also shit ends. RIP to my cute overnight bag and all of the shit Swiftwyn lost in the breakup.

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole - Part 6: Inside Your Mind

A/n: Hi everyone :) just want to say thank you to everyone has read this series so far, the support means so much to me and its mad to think some of my fave writers on here think this series is good! crazy to me but thank you thank you thank you!

Hope you like this chapter :)

warnings: smut, mentions of drug abuse, addiction and rehab

over 5k words

Series Masterlist

Part 5

Their lips were on each other's again the moment they were in the hotel room, the drive to this particular hotel had been torture. She had been teasing him from the moment they got in the car, allowing her thighs to spread, dangerously close to flashing all of the boys in the back of the car. The usual tour bus wasn't needed for this seemingly short journey (one which felt far too long with how badly he wanted her)

Her lip was being abused by her teeth and he could see her nipples pressed against the "I hate Matty Healy" shirt she was wearing.

The boys kept teasing him too, commenting on the fact he seemed distracted by something. He was very much distracted: by the tanned flesh of her thighs, by the visible bruises scattered across her neck (of which he just needed to attach his mouth and maybe teeth too, darkening them further), by the fact that her underwear was stuffed into his back pocket, by her lips which were just begging to be kissed and sucked; by everything that was her.

But now they didn't have to hold back, they could simply show one another how badly they wanted each other.

"We should probably have those drinks with the boys like we said" she said as his lips drifted along her neck, down to her chest, pressing against her collar bones. The t-shirt she had been wearing had been thrown across the room as soon as they entered the threshold, as were his trousers, shirt and her skirt. She knew she didn't really mean her words but wanted to see what he said.

"They can wait, let me have you to myself for a bit" he says, lips not moving from her chest. He pulls against her bra, revealing the swell of her right breast.

"Fuck how are you so perfect. God I don't deserve you" he says, lips wrapping around her nipple, her hands fly to his hair as her head snaps back and she moans loudly.

"Can't believe I haven't seen all of you yet. Doesn't seem fair does it love?" He asks and she doesn't even know what he's saying, not really, but she's nodding against him. Now she thinks about it, whenever they've done stuff before, either one of them had been partly clothed, the thought of being completely bare in front of him has her feeling a bit nervous.

As if he could read her mind, his lips stop their ministrations as he looks her deeply in the eyes.

"You're so beautiful love. Unbelievably so. I'm the luckiest, you know that right?" He asks as he takes her hands in his, pressing kisses along each of her knuckles, it was sweet, a clear change from how they were acting earlier.

"And we don't have to do anything okay? Not if you don't want to. I'm just happy to have you here with me. But if you want to go join the guys that's fine" he explains as she pulls him into her for a soft kiss. She was growing to like this side of him, a side she was just learning about, one in which they had barely scratched the surface of.

"I want to, I want you" she says against his mouth, he doesn't speed up his movements, he simply holds her against him, his grasp firm but not harsh. His lips move softly against hers, tongue making languid movements against her own.

He slowly moves them to the bed, hands supporting her back as she fell against it with a soft thump. She knows now this was going to be different from before. And she felt anxious at the thought but was also excited to see a different side to Matty .

"Matty" she says, her voice hesitant.

"Tell me what's on your mind" he says softly, lips wandering to her neck where more soft kisses were placed. Her own hands ran down his bare back, over the muscles, sketching him out like a map, trying to memorise every curve, every bump and vein.

"I'm scared" she admits, her voice quiet. She didn't struggle to be sincere quite as much as Matty, but she always worried that her words (no matter how sincere) would be rejected, or laughed at, or worse denied.

"What are you scared of my love?" He asked. Her heart fluttered at the words "my" and she pulled him away from her neck to look at him. She didn't know whether to tell him the truth: tell him she was scared of all the feelings she was feeling, how quickly she was falling for him, how he didn't even have to say he was sorry anymore because she forgave him the minute he told her his true feelings. She didn't speak and he simply pressed another gentle kiss to her lips, trying to draw the words out of her.

"Nevermind, I'm being silly" she says and his eyebrows furrow.

"Don't do that love, don't push me away. Wish I could be in your mind right now, hear what you hear, all your thoughts and feelings" he says, lips pressing against her cheek.

"That's what scares me" she whispers, fingertips drifting along his skin, not managing to find his eyes, afraid she'll spill every single thought that was bouncing around her mind.

"What love?" His fingers find her chin, slowly lifting it so they're looking at each other again.

"Think you already know all that.... You seem to know what I'm thinking without me telling you" she says and he nods, because he felt like it was true.

"Truth is love. I hardly know you, not in the way I want to. Want to know everything there is to know, all your secrets, all the things you've never told anyone before.... Not G, not Ross... No one" he admits and her heart swells at the idea.

"I'd like that" she smiles up at him and he places another kiss on her lips.

The moment where they so desperately wanted each other seems to have passed, now replaced by one which was more special. One where they wanted to talk, about everything, and so they did, some things he already knew, things he had memorised during the time in which they 'hated each other'.

Like her coffee order, her favourite colour, her favourite flowers, her birthday, all sorts. She was surprised he remembered half of it, but the fact he had made her realise how much he truly did like her.

Matty told her everything she wanted to know too, like his favourite books, his favourite songs, stories about his childhood that she didn't get to witness. Some things he struggled to say but wanted to, like his experience with drugs and addiction.

"What's your favorite song?" He asked, something he was uncertain whether he knew.

"Hmm... Good question, what genre?" She asks making him laugh.

"Probably... Something by Fleetwood Mac. Hard to pick which, maybe Storms, Silver Springs, or Landslide" she explains and he smiles down at her. He notes in his head that they're pretty sad songs, songs about unrequited love. He wonders if that's the only love she knows, a question for another day he thinks.

"Wanna know my favourite song of yours?" She asks, hands pressing against his chest to properly look at him.

His nodding down at her, fingertips drifting along her back, the skin was warm under his touch. She had never spoken about their music to him and he was excited to know what she thought, having spent years writing songs and wanting nothing more than to pick her mind about them.

"Inside Your Mind" she asks and he smiles, a hidden meaning behind his smile.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" He asks, he couldn't wait to tell her the true meaning of the song.

"Think it's a beautiful song... Remember the day G showed it to me... Couldn't believe how beautiful it was... Remember thinking I wish someone wrote such beautiful things about me" she admits and his smile stretches wider.

"What?" She asks, wondering why he's smiling at her the way he is.

"I wrote it about you" he admits. Her breath catches and she pauses, eyes drifting over his features to see if he was taking the piss.

"What do you mean you wrote it about me?" She asks, shoving him slightly, testing whether he was being earnest.

"I wrote it about you... Remember the summer before the album was released? We spent most of the summer together... Well you with the boys more than me" he says and her mind flicks back to the memory.

George had begged her to go on holiday with them, it was one of the only times their busy schedules lined up. She remembers agreeing despite knowing Matty was going to be there. She was having a difficult time with a relationship and she wanted nothing more than to be with her best friends.

"We seemed to avoid each other the whole holiday though" she says and he smiles at the memory.

"You avoided me... I was watching your every move love. I remember it was one of the first times I really got to see you... Without all the arguing because we hardly spoke..." He admits, she allows him to just speak, not interrupting him.

"There was this one night... Don't know if you'd remember, you were quite drunk... To be fair I was high as a kite too... I remember all of it though" he laughs at the memory. She listens intently wanting to know what he's about to say.

"We were all sitting out on the patio of that house, remember the huge pool? You had your feet in the water and I remember wanting nothing more than to just go up to you and just talk, without all the arguing" she nods at this, she thinks she would've liked that.

"Anyway... You came and sat with us and we were drinking and we were all talking, it was the first time we actually properly spoke without being mean to each other. Remember you like... Squeezed in-between George and me and I was shocked I had you that close" she remembers it now and she can't help but smile at the huge smile that rests on his lips as he tells the story.

"think I remember you were particularly bearable that day so I was nice to you... Also I was high too" she smirks and he chuckles at her, pressing a kiss to her head.

"We all drank way too much and Hann forced G and Ross to go to bed, you didn't want to so you stayed" he says, she doesn't remember any of this and she feels bad.

"I thought you were going to leave because it was just us... But we spoke for quite a while" he says.

"About what?" She asks, genuinely curious as to what they would've spoken about back then.

"About all sorts: your tour, our tour, you told me about this coffee place you had found in New York, told me to visit it, you told me about some douche you were seeing at the time" she groans at the last part making him chuckle

"... And then you fell asleep on me... And I didn't wake you up because I just wanted to have you there forever" he admits and her eyes soften as she looks into them.

"I eventually took you up to your room and then wrote that song... That whole holiday I was trying to memorise everything about you, just in case I never got to see it again" he admits.

"It was the November after that holiday you-?" She goes to ask, stopping her words completely worried she was pressing on something he didn't want to talk about.

He knows what she's saying even though she doesn't say it and he nods, grasping her hand, placing a gentle kiss to the back of it, letting her know it was okay to talk about.

"Can I admit something to you? Without you... Despising me for it.." he asks and she nods.

"That summer... It made me realise how much I had fucked up... I knew I could've had you the way that the guys had you, if I was honest with you from the start... The idea of never having you kind of broke me" he admits, she frowns and she feels her heart hurt at his words.

"I always hoped that one day it would all fall into place. But you went on tour after that and I dunno... I missed you even though... Even though I didn't have you. And I kind of just... Broke" he admits, she frowns up at him. She felt like it was her fault and he's quickly pressing a firm kiss to her lips as he sees her features fall.

"Baby you had nothing to do with it. It was me... Me being stupid and selfish and getting myself into this fucking pit of misery... There was other stuff too, don't want you thinking it was all about you because it wasn't. I got to this point in my life where... I didn't like the person I saw in the mirror, the douche that had fucked up his life... And using, it just made all that go away" he says and she nods, still feeling awful for his confession. She appreciates him being honest and that overshadows his confession.

"In rehab... I kind of realised that I can either pine over you for the rest of my life... Or I can do something about it. Kind of had that realisation about a lot of things in my life. I just knew I had to fix my life and myself otherwise I risked losing all of you"

"Matty" she says softly, leaning forward to press her lips to his. Her eyes were tearing up now, and he felt a tear drop to his cheek making him pull away.

"Why are you crying love?" He asks, pulling her tightly into her chest. She knew now she didn't need to be scared about anything, he was her person. He always had been.

"I just know now. I know how you feel about me. You don't need to prove anything Matty... That- that song, that story, it's everything I need to know" she says, pushing herself away from his embrace to look at him.

"Would you be mad if I said I wanted to prove it?" He says making her laugh.

"Of course not" she says, pulling him into a hug now. In fact she loves that he still does, he could easily settle now, accept the fact that she had forgiven him but he still wanted to prove how much he cared and that was the sweetest thing.

"Thank you" she murmurs against his neck.

"Thank you for what sweetheart?" He says.

"For telling me all that" she says, she knows it isn't easy for him to be like this with people and she's so thankful she is the one he's choosing to be like this with.

"One sec" he says, going to his bag to get something, whatever is, is being clutched in a tight grip in his hand and he hesitates as he puts it into hers, clasping his hands around hers, not letting her see it yet.

"I bought you something on that holiday... I knew... Well no: I hoped, that one day I'd be giving it to you, and have carried it everywhere with me since then... Just in case I needed it" he says, removing his hand, allowing her to open her hands, revealing a gold necklace, attached to the chain was a pendant, a small letter "M".

"Matty..." she says, voice trailing off as she looked at the piece of jewelery. "It's beautiful"

"You don't have to wear it... Not yet. Not if you don't want to" he says and her eyes find his.

"just promise me something yeah?" He says.

"Anything" she nods.

"Promise me you'll wear that when you're mine. When I've proven to you how sorry I am, how I truly feel" he says and she thinks he's already proven all of that, not that she lets him know that just yet.

"I promise" she says, pulling him into another tight hug.

"Let's go join the boys yeah?" He asks and she nods, not before pressing a firm kiss to his lips. He watches her as he leaves the bed, begging her to stay there for a second whilst he grabs his phone, snapping a quick photo of her, she looked so cool, clad only in her underwear, tattoos on display, tanned skin almost tempting him again.

"You're so beautiful love, could look at you all day" he says, palms flat against the bed as he lowers his mouth to hers quickly before they finally dress and join the boys.

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Two weeks later the band are all sitting around this huge room at one of the venues. The past two weeks have been absolute bliss, it somehow felt that they had all grown closer, they all spent every waking movement with each other, never tiring of each other. You'd think spending 5 weeks with each other, 35 whole days, would make them sick of each other, but she loved the time she spent with every single one of them.

Matty and Lou had almost been in their own little love bubble, every day Matty did something to prove how sorry he was for treating her so badly for so many years. He made her a coffee every morning, sung songs to her when they were alone, scattered loving kisses to every inch of her body he could find. Sometimes in the middle of the night when they should've been sleeping, he would tell her a story, a small fact about the old days, that just proved that he really didn't hate her after all.

The band were now scattered about the room on various sofas. Matty sits on a round leather chair, it almost swallows him, makes him look tiny in comparison.

Ross is sprawled out on the ground next to him, his legs extending in front of him as one arm rests under his head. Matty laughs at how ridiculous he looks, his head resting near Matty's calves as the two spoke, Ross's voice slightly distorted from lying upside down.

The sound catches the attention of Lou, they share a look briefly before she continues talking to George , the two laughing with each other, G's arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders, the two spending some much needed time with each other (especially considering Charli had left to do her own shows) but the sight made Matty's heart swell.

"I've never seen you so happy mate" Ross says from below him, making Matty turn his attention to the lanky lad laid beneath him. The tall man turns on his stomach, looking up at him the right way round now.

"It's good mate" he then says. Matty nods, his eye wandering over to her again. He almost draws her in his mind: laughing uncontrollably with his best mate, tears coating her cheeks, a huge smile resting against her lips, those lips that he can never get enough of. Her hair is up in a ponytail, carelessly showing the bruises scattered around her neck.

"She's just the best" Matty says and Ross nods.

"She is. Thanks for that, glad you plucked your ideas up, glad we didn't lose her in the end " Ross says and Matty smiles at him "one of us forever now".

Matty nods "yeah" he has half a mind to ask her to get the 1975 box tattooed, she was part of the band after all, but she was also so much more than that.

A little while later, Ross has moved from the floor, now mucking around with Hann and George.

Matty remains in the huge chair, too comfortable to move. His phone rests in his hand, scrolling carelessly through Instagram, coming across a photo Lou had posted, the one he took, he smiles before commenting, reading his mates comments too, smiling down at his phone.

His phone pings, notifying him of a text. He smiles when he clicks on it, a selfie of the two of them set as her picture, "Room for one more?".

His eyes leave the screen, when he sees her, her own phone resting in her hands as she leans against a wall on the other side of the room. He nods and she walks over. He holds his arms out as she climbs onto the chair, he adjusts her so her legs are hung over his, holding onto her side as she rests against him. She smells faintly of cigarettes and he thinks that must have been where she was previously, but its her scent that is so overwhelming her; sweet and addictive that evades his senses.

"Hi" he says quietly, a wide smile breaking out on his face.

"Hi" she smiles.

"Missed you" he says simply, she nuzzles into his side, not saying anything for a beat, her lips press against his cheek, feeling the rough stubble he had let grow against her mouth.

"Missed you too" she pulls back to look at him, his red lips call her name and she can't help but push hers against his. His hand flies to her jaw, controlling the kiss quickly. His mouth opens on instinct and her tongue quickly meets his, moving against each other passionately. She pulls away slowly, making him groan in protest against her, only making her giggle. Oh that laugh, he fucking loves it man. He loves her.

"What was that for?" He asks, not complaining in the slightest, just curious.

"You guys are adorable" George says sighing deeply. They break away to look at him. A frown on his face.

"Fuck I miss charli' he says and they both frown.

They share a look, nod and both open their arms up, inviting him to join on the huge chair. He practically throws himself onto the pair, the both of them wrapping him up in a warm hug.

----------------------------------------------------------

They were both acting absolutely feral before the show, they were annoying the shit out of everyone with the amount of sexual tension that was in the room.

The moment he walked out in his suit she felt her eyes darken, her breath pick up and her heart beat faster in her chest (and core). Her eyes raked down his form, how the shirt clung to his chest in just the right way, how his slacks fit his slender legs perfectly. He looked godly and she found herself swallowing at the sight.

He knew that look all too well and he smirked at the sight. She looked fit too: black leather skirt clinging to her delicious thighs as she sat on a high chair, her booted legs swinging, the top she was wearing wasn't particularly low cut but he could see the "M" necklace he bought her resting in between the swell of her breasts.

"Fuck" he muttered to himself, it didn't take her long to wear the necklace at all and the thought had him falling deeper by the minute.

He felt a hand clasp his back making him have to peel his eyes of her.

"Mate, we've got 5 minutes before we have to be on that stage, I know she looks fit but don't start something you know both of you can't finish" Ross says and George nods next to him. He sighs but nods agreeing with the sound advise.

His legs take him to her anyway. The boys flee just in case, getting ready to go on stage and leaving the pair be.

"Wow Healy" she says and a groan grumbles in his chest at the sultry tone she uses.

"Right?" He says, giving her a twirl, trying to ease the tension for his sake only. His eyes find hers again and he almost loses it.

He runs a hand through his curls which aren't tamed by the usual hair gel tonight and she almost pounces on him. His feet betray him and take him the rest of the way to her. His eyes land on her delicious thighs, hands finding them without a single thought. They're spread not a second later and oh how well they welcome him. His eyes catch a glimpse of her black lace underwear and his eyes snap shut.

"You're killing me here" he says as her neck strains to find his Adams apple.

"Baby" he groans eyes snapping open, their dark eyes finding each other.

"You look so good" he says, the vowels drawn out.

"You don't look so bad yourself Healy" she says, fingers playing with his curls, he didn't even see how they got there but they're curling around the strands gently, she knows she can't mess up his hair too much.

He breathes in deeply as he looks at her, breath bated and sharp.

"You look so good baby" she sighs out, repeating his words back to him, her breath hitting his lips.

"Oh fuck it" he says, smashing his lips against hers. Their tongues quickly find each other, meeting messily. He presses his core forward, his hands finding her hips and pulling her tight against him, she almost falls off the chair, but his tight grasp has her held against him, flushed.

Their make out session is quickly cut short, bells ringing to let the band know they're due to be on soon.

"Fuck" he murmurs against her lips, he sighs against her before they both pull away to go on stage.

He had clearly decided to make this show more painful for her. Particularly when he did the 'bit' on the sofa. It felt all to real when his fingers grasped the buttons of his shirt. Usually he would look up, away from the audience but this time he turned to where she was standing on the stage.

His eyes found hers, he took a puff of his cigarette, lips pursing as he blew out, he winked at her making her gasp. His hand smoothed down his chest, he only looked away when his palm lay flat against his trouser covered cock, that's when he decided to throw his head back, he purposely let out a deep sigh.

She swore she heard her name and the fans in front of her looked to her and screamed. Oh shit he said her name.

"You little shit Healy" she murmured to herself.

During the final bows, she made her way backstage and waited for him there. She sat anxiously for a while before she left, deciding to wait in his changing room. When she heard the crowd screaming loudly she knew they had left the stage.

She knew he'd rush to find her so she had to be quick. Her fingers found the zip of her skirt, discarding it. She took off her top, revealing a black lace bodysuit, something Matty hadn't seen her in before. She found one of Matty's white shirts and threw that over her frame. She heard the door slam against the wall behind her and she whipped around to seem him. His shirt was nowhere to be seen and he had already started on the buckle of his belt. He shut the door behind him and turned the lock until it clicked.

"There she is" he said, his voice deep as his eyes found hers.

"That wasn't fair now was it Matty?" She says, stepping slowly towards him. He froze in his tracks as she approached him, finally taking in her attire. A groan rumbled from his chest and his cock twitched in his pants.

"Fuck me you look hot' he says as her hands are placed on his bare shoulders. She lowers herself until she's on her knees, her lips finding his abdomen as he throws his head back.

"Don't get me wrong, you looked so fit. Running your hand down your chest like that" she said, mimicking his earlier actions.

"And the way your head was thrown back when you..." She says, her hand moving down more until flush against his core.

"But it wasn't fair Matty. Saying my name as if no one would hear" she says.

"Lou" he sighs again. She looks up at him through her eyelashes, her fingers find the zipper of his trousers and they make light work of undoing them. He helps her remove them, he knows she's the devil when her lips press against his clothed core.

"Fuck me" he says. Looking down at the beautiful woman on her knees for him, trying to commit the view to memory.

"oh I will, don't you worry baby" she says and he groans. Her hands find the hem of his boxers, pulling at them until his member is free and snaps against his abs.

This is completely uncharted territory but he's thriving off it.

"You're so hard for me" she says and he nods bashfully. She's too turned on and needs him too much to tease him, so her lips quickly find their place around his tip. The red and leaking tip disappearing against her red lips, her lipstick marking his member.

He groans and his hands wrap around her hair, making a makeshift ponytail .

"oh fuck you're good at this ' he groans. Her lips move down his shaft, all the way to the base and she moans against him, the vibrations nearly killing him. She begins bobbing up and down on him, the head of his cock hitting the back of her throat perfectly. She doesn't gag, she moans and it has Matty's stomach clenching.

"Oh fuck you're the best" he says and she looks up at him, continuing her work and making him writhe against her. All that can be heard is his deep grunts and the wet sounds coming from below him and it's like music to his ears.

"Baby I can't, I need to be inside you" he groans, she moans against him and his hands are quickly placed against her shoulders, pushing her off him until a pop sounds. His hand finds her and he pulls her to her feet, he grabs her hips and pulls her flush against him, he quickly picks her up, leading her to the countertop to the left of them. He pops open the lace bodysuit, she grasps him in her hand and leads him to her core. His tip brushes against her clit before dipping into her cunt, coating just the head of him with her juices. He gives her a look and she nods at him, letting him know she wanted this.

"Fuck you're so wet, who made you this wet huh?" He says, lips pushing against hers, tongues fighting.

"You, it's always you" she says against him.

"Please fuck me Matty" she sighs.

"oh I will' he says, a smirk resting against his lips before he thrusts harshly into her. She takes all of him and they both moan loudly.

"Oh god Matty' she moans, hands grasping at his back, trying to get him closer although not possible.

"You were made for me darling' he looks down at where they meet, nearly coming undone at the site.

He pulls back before his hips snap forward again, sending his cock deep into her. Her head snaps upwards as she screams. They moan, groan and scream in unison, his cock driving to and from her at an unforgiving pace, curving upwards slightly and hitting her gspot perfectly. His eyes are trained on where they met, the sight filthy, turning him on even more. He felt unbelievably lucky that he got to have her like this. He had never felt this good with anyone before, but he also couldn't believe how connected it made them feel.

Her mouth opens and forms a "o" as the tip of him rubs against her soft spot.

"That it baby?" He groans and she nods vigorously. He continues driving himself into that spot, the spot that has her convulsing around him. His own head shoots back now, her lips sucking against his Adams apple. His fingertips find her clit and he circles it.

"Cum with me" he says, his words sending her over the edge, he cums not a second later joining her in the white hot pleasure.

It was a hard and fast fuck, what both of them needed to shake off the tension that had started to become unbearable mixed with adrenaline of the show.

He holds her tightly against him, pressing soft kisses to her lips. He pulls back to look at her and finds her smiling up at him.

"Never going to get used to that" he says and she nods in agreement. His pulls out of her, making the both of them groan. His fingertips find the "M" of the necklace as he smiles down at her. He doesn't ask if this means she's his, because the both of them already knew that and neither of them needed or wanted to confirm it just yet. They were enjoying just figuring it out for now.

"Look pretty with my initial on you" he says and she smirks.

"Marked your territory real good" she says and he all but groans at that. His territory. Her words had basically confirmed she was his anyway.

"Spoke to the boys earlier.... We think... If you want. That you should get the box tattoo" he says and she smiles up at him. If anyone asked her about this moment, she knew she wouldn't be able to do it justice, or explain how it made her feel. It was the best thing that had ever happened to her, it let her know that she was where she was supposed to be with the people who loved her most: she was home.

"I think that's a wonderful idea" she says, fighting back the urge to cry at the sentiment.

"Now what are we going to do about the fact you moaned my name in front of thousands of people?" She asks and he laughs loudly, leaving her to get a cloth to clean her up. He's gentle with the process knowing she would be easily overstimulated. She appreciates the softness of it all, especially when he places a soft kiss on her forehead when she winces.

"That's up to you love. We can let them speculate, or we can tell them" he says and she nods, thinking through the possible options.

"Tell them what though?" She asks and he agrees, at this moment in time, nothing was confirmed, they both knew how they felt but nothing was set in stone yet, they were going with the flow.

"I don't know... But I do know I don't want to have to hide. Want to love on you whenever I want... Flirt with you on that stage and over Instagram" he says making her laugh.

"How post-modern of you" and they both laugh loudly at that.

"Well then... Guess we just let them speculate" she says and he nods at her. His lips press against hers before they both get changed, returning to the boys.

"You guys are gross" George says making everyone laugh.

"Oh shut up, we've heard much worse from you" Matty says.

"Oh Charli... Just like that" Ross says, in a high pitch voice, completely taking the piss out of G. She's thankful he's taking some of the heat off of Matty and her.

"I do not sound like that thank you very much!" He says, defensive as ever. They join the group, Lou talking with Hann about various things as Matty messes around with the other lads.

She couldn't see how this could get any better.

Part 7

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 5: Don't Fuck It, You Muppet - Matty Healy Series

A/n: Here's the next part, I'm really enjoying writing this series and I hope you are all enjoying it too. If you have any ideas about Lou x Matty don't hesitate to pop it into my asks or message me. Or if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask :) love you guys for all the support. Especially @poisonmedaddy13 💜

Warnings: smut at the end of the chapter and a fair bit of fluff too

Minors DNI

You can read all previous parts here: Series Masterlist

Part 4

The band had stopped at some petrol station in the middle of nowhere. She can't deny she's lost track of how many shows they've done or where they're performing next, they've been on tour for over 3 weeks now. The group were sat inside the tour bus, a few going off at scattered times to sleep. She didn't sleep very much at the best of times (it could've had something to do with the crazy amounts of coffee she drank), but something about touring, all the adrenaline, made it even harder for her to sleep.

So there she sat: leaning against the tour bus, a spliff that George had rolled for her, resting between her fingertips, something to help you sleep he had said. She knew it probably wouldn't help but at least it would calm her shot nerves for a bit. She had been overthinking and replaying everything that had happened between Matty and her.

She heard the door to the bus open before someone was shutting it gently. She looked up to see a sleepy looking Matty, clad in a pair of joggers and a beaten tee. He offered her a dazed smile, clearly he had only just woken up. The smell of him drifts through her nose, completely overtaking the smell of the weed she's smoking.

"Hey" he says, grunting as he attempted to sit down next to her. Their thighs were plush against each other, his heat radiating off him and drifting into her: she was suddenly feeling a little bit sleepy.

"Getting a bit too old to sit all the way down here love" he grunts again making her giggle, a noise that makes his lips stretch further.

"I love hearing you giggle" he admits. She just smiles at him, taking another puff before offering it to him, he declines and she frowns, that's not like him, she thinks.

"You good?" She asks and he nods, just smiling at her.

"Yeah I'm good. Just don't need it right now" he says and she nods, taking another puff, finishing the spliff before stubbing it out on the ground next to her.

"Why are you out here on your own?" He asks and she smirks.

"Well I'm not on my own now am I silly?" She smirks, her intrusive thoughts take over and she moves to hold the hand that had been resting against his thigh. He finds himself squeezing hers, wanting nothing more than to raise it to his lips, too much too soon he thinks.

Her eyes drift from their hands to the men across from them, their driver and Jamie, sitting at the small garage. They had clearly filled up the bus with petrol, maybe the driver needed a break, who knew? But she appreciated the much needed lull.

Her eyes are drifting shut as she leans her head back against the cold metal of the bus.

"Are you sure you're okay love?" He asks, his words muffled by her new sleep induced state. Maybe the weed worked after all, or maybe it was Matty's presence; this new, sweet and loving Matty: which suddenly made her feel unbelievably relaxed, his hand on hers, thumb running across the soft skin at the back of it.

"Hmm." she doesn't open her eyes but feels his eyes burning into her skin. Her eyes slowly drift open after a beat, seeing him all too clearly now. His eyebrows were furrowed in worry, she wanted to smooth her thumb over the lines that had formed there. His lip was in-between his teeth, gnawing it out of worry.

"I like seeing you like this" she admits, the high hitting her now. George always told her she was unwaveringly honest when she smoked weed, she was calm, but her words were always sincere when high. Maybe more sincere than usual.

"Like what?" His eyebrows still furrowed, lip still being chewed by his teeth. She leans forward, the hand that was unoccupied moving to pluck his lips from his teeth.

"All worried about me" she says and he chuckles, smiling down at her.

"And why's that?" He asks and her eyes are fluttering shut again, this time her head lands on his shoulder. He looks down at his shoulder, smiling at the sight.

"Means you do care about me" her words hit his heart and he leans forward, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. She wants nothing more than to be awake now, just so she can ask for another kiss. But her eyes struggle to stay open.

"Sleep love" he says, and she doesn't hear another word from him, or anything around her.

A while later she finds herself waking, suddenly in her bunk, she adorns George's jumper still, feeling incredibly cozy. She wonders how she got here, Matty must have carried her: the thought has her smiling to herself.

She hears movement coming from another bunk and slowly opens the curtain of hers to see who it was.

"We're here love. Matty made you a coffee" George says and she smiles up at him.

"Give me a few minutes yeah?" She asks and George nods. She removes herself from her bunk, collecting her things and going to get changed. She couldn't wait until they got into the hotel, a hot shower was definitely needed.

She quickly gets changed and makes herself more presentable, finally removing yesterday's make up, leaving her fresh-faced. She then finds the rest of the group, waiting outside the bus. Matty stands with two cups of coffee, offering her one very quickly upon seeing her.

"Thank you" she smiles, coming to stand inbetween him and George, their shoulders brushing. George wraps his warm around her and she leans in to him, making her move away from Matty slightly, she doesn't miss the quick frown that rests on his face before the previous smile is returning.

"Sleep well?" He asks and everyone's looking at the both of them then, not that she cares. She looks up at him, a smile on her face that makes everyone else smile.

"Amazingly" she says and he smiles down at her, no one else really knows what on earth there smiling at but the sight was nice. Everyone else begins talking about whatever else and she continues looking at Matty.

"Thank you" she mouths, referring to putting her to bed and the coffee.

"You're welcome"

She takes a sip from the coffee and practically moans at the taste.

"Alright Lou calm down" George says, looking down at her and they all laugh.

"What?!! It tastes nice!" She says, lightly hitting her best friend for teasing her. The group break out in laughter and she feels so happy, the worries of yesterday completely slipping her mind.

The noise does other things to Matty and she smirks upon seeing the look in his eyes.

"Okay guys let's get a move on" Jamie says. The group are quick to gather their things, making their way to their hotel rooms. Every single one of them knew that soon enough they'd all be in the same room anyway, it's what always happened. They never knew why Jamie booked multiple rooms.

Lou is quick to jump in the shower, soaking up the heat. She gets changed thereafter, the city they were in today was colder than the rest so she changed into a white jumper, a black skirt with a pair of tights and making sure to wear her usual leather jacket.

She got a text from George explaining that they were in Matty's room. They actually didn't have a show until the next day so decided to have a chill day with each other. The first of this tour.

She text back saying she was going to have a quick smoke before joining them.

She found her way out of the hotel, a security guard following her: a demand of Jamie's.

She goes to light her cigarette but hears her name being called. A group of three girls are walking towards her and the security guard gets defensive. She raises her hand at him, letting her know it's okay.

"Are we okay to say hello?" One of them asks sweetly.

"Of course!" She says cheerfully, wanting them to feel welcome. The girls come closer and Lou is quick to accept their hugs. She tucks the cigarette on top of her ear, before signing things they had brought along with them. She for one didn't mind a few fans coming to their hotel to say hello, but when they were swarmed it was a tad overwhelming. They appreciated their dedication and love regardless.

"How are you guys?" She asks them and each girl speaks, she smiles listening to them. They have a conversation about various things the girls asking Lou questions about the tour and the guys.

"We love your band don't get us wrong!! But you work really well with the 1975!" They explain and she smiles at their words.

"Thank you! I'm having the best time, I do miss my band though, they're a lot less chaotic than the boys" she jokes making them laugh.

The girls expressions change when the door next to them opens, revealing Matty. She can tell they're trying to keep cool and she smiles at them.

"Thought you'd be out here" Matty says, lighting his cigarette before his hand is grazing her back before seeing the girls in front of her.

"Hi!" He says, hand dropping from her back, not going unnoticed by the girls. Matty then hugs them before taking some pictures.

The group talks to the both of them, handing Lou a small bouquet of flowers she didn't even realise one of them were holding, a giving Matty a shirt that says "I hate Matty Healy" which makes all of them laugh before they say their goodbyes.

"They love you" Matty says and she lights her own cigarette.

They smoke together chatting about this and that before they're heading back to his hotel room to meet the rest of the group.

Matty ushers the security guard that had followed Lou away, Lou handing him the flowers and Matty handing over the tee before they enter the elevator. Matty clicks the number to his floor. His eyes find hers and he feels the air knock from his lungs.

"How come you get away without having security follow you everywhere?" She asks.

He's suddenly realising how especially pretty she is today.

"Love you look gorgeous" he breathes out, his words shocking her.

Her body finds his with one gentle pull his way. His hand is light against her waist, she can barely feel it but she can feel an almost electric sensation where it rests.

His other hand rests against her jaw, holding her gently, as if he's going to break her.

"Is this okay? I know I haven't even started showing you how sorry I am but I can't help myself-" he gets cut off by her lips against his. His hand grips her waist tighter now and she gasps against his lips.

"You think too much" she laughs against his mouth making him chuckle too. His craving for her feels slightly sedated now, with her soft lips pressed against his, his tongue softly making its way into her mouth to caress her awaiting one. The kiss is different than any they've shared before and she's the one that feels addicted now.

"I like when you kiss me like this" she murmurs against his mouth, he breaks away momentarily, her lips chasing his making him smirk.

He places a few pecks against her mouth as his fingertips drift over her freckled cheeks.

"Think I like you most like this" he says, making her eyebrows furrow.

"You're beautiful no matter what love. But seeing you like this reminds me of when we were younger. No make up, just you. Absolutely stunning" he says before he's pressing his lips against hers again, she has no time to respond and before they know it the ding of the elevator is letting them know they're at their floor.

The ding isn't what pulls them apart unfortunately, it's the groan of their best friend that makes them jump apart. George stands there, hand covering his eyes, groaning to himself. Matty and Lou can't help but laugh.

"Fucking hell... Was wondering what was taking yous so long" he says still covering his eyes.

"Stop being so dramatic" Lou says, shoving her best friend as she walks past him "we have to put up with you and Charli making out all the time" she says before she's walking off to Matty's room.

George removes his hand from his eyes, spotting his friend leaning against the elevator wall, a huge shit eating grin resting against his lips.

George smiles at this before he speaks "looks good on you mate" Matty frowns, not knowing what he's talking about.

"You, looking happy. Looks good" he says and Matty walks up to him then, clasping a hand on his back as they began to walk.

"Thanks mate"

"Just cut down on the making out please... Feels weird seeing my best mates suck face" he says making Matty laugh.

"You'll have to talk to her about that I'm afraid" he says, the two men laughing loudly.

Upon entering the room, Matty sees Lou resting in Charli's lap on a large love seat, the two girls giggling about something. George smiles at his two favorite girls before he's plonking himself down next to them, hooking an arm around the pair.

"You've got such ridiculously long arms G, it's weird" Lou says, the large man begins tickling her, making her get up from Charli's lap, making the other girl frown, kicking her boyfriend.

"Jealous much" Charli says before she takes her boyfriend in for a hug.

Matty begins talking to Hann and Carly, so her eyes land on Ross who pats the spot next to him on the sofa he's sat on. Matty's eyes catch hers as she sits next to Ross, whose arm hooks over her shoulders now. He feels no jealousy now as he looks over the pair, in fact he wants nothing more than to join them.

"How's your day going hmm?" Ross smirks at her, knowing something was up, especially given the blush that arises to her cheeks.

"It's good" she says and he laughs.

"I bet it is" he says, innuendo laced in his words.

"Shut up" she says, shoving his large shoulders as the pair laugh. They're both aware it's only been two days but the look Ross gives her let's her now he's happy for her.

Matty excuses himself from his conversation he was having and walks over to the pair "room for one more?" Matty asks and they both stare up at him.

"Of course" Lou says, looking over at Ross who smiles before nodding. Matty launches himself over the pair making them both laugh. Before he can get too comfortable, Lou's phone is ringing in her pocket.

"Shit, sorry" she says, awkwardly getting her phone out given that Matty was splayed across their laps.

"I've got to take this" she says, eyebrows furrowing. Matty's ears prick up at this, moving off them so she can stand. She quickly leaves the room and he sits back down next to Ross, wondering to himself what it was about.

She answers the phone and hears her manager on the other side of the line.

"Hello you wonderful human" he says. Now Lou's manager, Gregg, was one of the nicest people (alongside Jamie) that she had met in the industry. She was like her father at this point. But sometimes he cared, a little too much, and this was one of these times.

"Hi, everything okay?" She says, worry laced in her voice.

"Why do you sound worried? As if I can't just call you to check up on you" he says and she chuckles.

"Yeah sure. What's up?" She asks.

"Jamie said you haven't been sleeping much" he says and she feels her eyes rolling. "and you've been spending a lot of time with Matty, since when did you like him? Last time we spoke you said, and I quote: "he's an insufferable arsehole" he says and she chuckles. Barely any time has passed and Jamie's already grassed on the pair

"I actually had a great night sleep thank you very much. You know me, touring and sleep don't go hand in hand but I'll be fine" she says ignoring the Matty bit for now.

"I do know you. Very well in fact. And I know that you will burn yourself out if you don't sleep" he says and she groans. She knows he's right but like a stubborn daughter she finds her eyes rolling again.

"Yes I know" "good" he says.

"So Matty?" He asks and she seriously thought she had avoided it.

"It kind of just happened" she explains.

"What happened?"

"Nothing much really. Not yet. But I don't hate him now, he's actually... Quite bearable" she explains, keeping her cards close to her chest.

"Okay... Well I know you've got George to defend you, but I will kill him if he hurts you" he says and she sighs.

"I don't need defending Gregg. I can deal with whatever happens okay?"

"Okay. We miss you, call us more yeah?" He says and then they finish up their conversation. She goes to open up the door, hearing the boys talk in hush tones.

"I'm happy for you mate, I really am. We are all. Just don't fuck it up okay?" She hears George say.

"I dont intend on fucking it up. Have I given you any indication whatsoever since we last spoke that I was going to fuck it up?" She hears Matty say and then G groans.

"No" George says.

"He's just saying mate" Ross says, defending G.

"I know he's 'just saying'. But it's fucking annoying. I don't think either of you realise how fucking serious I am about her. When I said I'd prove how sorry I am... How I feel about her, how I've always felt about her. I fucking meant it. Look I know I'm not sincere very often but I'm trying okay?" She hears him say, he sounds a bit miffed at his friends and she wants to go in and hug him but she feels a bit awkward now, if she entered now it would be obvious she had been listening in.

"Im sorry mate, I'm just trying to look out for you... And her, she's like my sister" George says.

"I know! But right now, you don't need to look out for either of us. What happened to earlier? When you said happiness looks good on me?"

"It does"

"Then maybe butt out for a bit yeah?" She hears him say, she hears the boys call after him, he must've gone somewhere else. She walks in then, eyes finding both the boys who look like two dears in a headlight.

"Did you hear all of that?" Ross says and she knows there's no point lying, she nods and both of their expressions soften.

"Sorry" they say in unison.

"I don't know what everyone's problem is at the moment: you two, Gregg... But I'm a grown woman and I can deal with my shit myself okay?" She says firmly, making both the boys nod up at her, not wanting to say another word.

"the day so far has been pretty awesome. So don't ruin it." Another nod from the pair. "Now where did Matty go?" She asks and they both point to the balcony.

"Figures" she laughs before walking out on the balcony.

"Hey" she says softly upon seeing him. His head snaps towards hers, his features softening when he realises it's her.

"Oh hi... Sorry, thought you were g or Ross" he says, turning his attention back to his cigarette.

"It's okay..." She says, coming to lean against the balcony, next to him, their shoulders resting against one another.

"You okay?" She asks softly, lightly bumping her shoulder against his. He turns his attention back to her, offering her a small nod.

"I will be..."

"You know I heard what they said right?" She asks, hand finding his back.

"I didn't" he laughs, hand running through his hair in worry. He didn't know what her reaction would be, would she be annoyed at what he said? Would should like that he defended himself and his feelings towards her?

"I appreciate what you said though" she says, leaning forward to place several soft kisses against his cheeks, making him giggle.

"I like it when you're sincere" she says, pulling back to look at him.

"Yeah... Me too" he says and she smiles at him, he doesn't smile back at first, clearly still annoyed at the two men.

"Don't let them ruin it. We've had a good day so far right?" She asks and he nods.

"Especially the part in the elevator" she says, trying to get him to smile.

"Yeah I liked that part" he says, flicking his cigarette off the balcony before his hands pull her into his chest, lips pressing against her forehead.

"I'm not going to fuck this up okay? I know it must be confusing for you, I mean I acted like I hated you for years and then suddenly I'm confessing my feelings towards you... just didn't want to lose you. But I'm serious about this" He asks and for whatever reason, she truly believes him.

"I know" she says simply, leaning up to kiss him, a gentle kiss, just her lips massaging against his softly.

"I'm never going to get used to that" he says as she pulls away.

"Well you better because I don't plan on stopping anytime soon" she says making him laugh, pulling her closer to him and bridging the gap between their lips again.

She tasted sweet like strawberries, mixed with tobacco and he couldn't pull himself away. Especially when her hands found his hair, pulling gently at the strands.

They heard a car beep from below and he pulled away, suddenly aware they were on a balcony, where anyone could see.

"Someone could see us" he says when she leans back in, pressing her lips back to his.

"Let them see" she sighs against his mouth, tongue meeting his, the couple fighting for dominance, in which he won.

"Baby" he says and she moans at the nickname.

"Say that again" she says, gripping his shirt in her hands, needing him closer, the bottom of his hiking up to reveal part of his stomach.

"Baby we should stop" he says and she feels sense come back to her brain.

"You're right" she says, taking a step back, laughing at his disheveled appearance.

"Sorry about that" she says, soothing her hands down her jumper, chuckling to herself at the lack of control she just showed.

"Never be sorry" he says, pulling her into a corner of the balcony that was fairly covered from the public eye.

"Thought you said we should stop" she chuckles as his lips smear against her neck.

"I can't stop around you" his lips continue to smear against her neck, bruising the skin: the make up team were going to hate her later.

----------------------------------------------------------

Matty brings the shirt on stage that the fans they met yesterday gave to him, during the second half of their set.

"Yesterday, Lou and I met some lovely fans. They gave Lou some pretty flowers..." He begins "perfectly fitting" he says without the microphone just so she could hear in her in ears. "And they gave me this shirt" he says, revealing the fabric to their audience.

Matty holding the "I hate Matty Healy" shirt was displayed on the screens next to the stage, so everyone could see. The crowd screams and goes absolutely mental making them all laugh.

"Thought you might want to wear it love" he says, the nickname slipping out without a second thought, not that she bothered to care. He was teasing her but she wouldn't back down now.

"Seems appropriate" she says into her microphone before he's passing it to her.

She throws it over the top of the shirt she was wearing, although Matty secretly hoped she would take the shirt off, not that he wanted everyone to see that, just himself.

The crowd goes crazy again and they all laugh. They continue their set, Lou wearing the shirt throughout the whole show.

The time came for their final bows, the boys all exchanged the same look as Lou began to walk off stage, before George was running towards her, hooking his arm around her shoulder and pulling her back on stage, making the crowd go crazy.

"What are you doing?" She asks as she's met with Matty and the rest.

"You're as much a part of this band now as the rest of us" Matty says, the sweet sentiment making her tear up a little.

"Don't you go crying on us now" Ross says, pointing a finger towards her, she wipes the tears from her eyes as she laughs.

"Come on" Adam says, hooking his arm around Ross and George, Matty hooked his arm around Lou before they all shared a quick group hug, before turning back to the crowd and bowing.

Lou then left the guys to do their individual waves to the crowd before one by one they left, Matty leaving the stage last.

She waited on the side lines for him, every single one of the guys smirking at her as they went past (not without hugging her tightly first).

Matty then came running back to her, scooping her up into a tight hug, making her giggle as her feet left the ground.

"That was the fucking best" he says, putting her down and looking her deeply in the eyes.

"You're the fucking best" he says, pulling her into him again.

"So are you Matthew Healy. So are you" she's the one to pull him closer now, gripping his shirt tightly as she stands on her tiptoes, pressing her lips to his.

All the air left in his lungs seems to leave him and he quickly grasps her waist, attempting to steady himself.

"Wait... Lou" he says making her reluctantly pull away to look at him.

"What's up?" She asks, worry sketched across her features. His eyebrows furrow too, almost copying hers.

"I haven't even begun to show you how sorry I am...." He says, fingertips playing with the hem of her shirt as he hesitates over his next words. She's about to tell him he can say whatever is on his mind and she wants him too, but he speaks before she gets the chance.

"Don't want you thinking... Thinking I'm like.... Using you or something" his words are jumbled and very casual considering it's Matty, but she knows he's like this when he's nervous.

She laughs a soft laugh as she looks up at him, his eyes flutter as she slowly leans up to kiss him, just once, a sweet and firm one.

"How about...." She says, pulling away from him, one hand resting against his chest, one on his jaw. He sees her eyes darken and he knows he couldn't resist her even if he tried. Her lips find his neck, pressing and sucking against the flesh there before finding the shell of his ear.

He doesn't expect her mouth to take it in, neither does he expect the profane groan that falls from his lips as she sucks it before whispering her next words.

"You take me into your changing room and show me how sorry you are" she says and he can't stop himself from grasping her, swinging her over his shoulder and taking them to his changing room.

They pass the boys, Lou waves at them as she giggles, a smirk rests on Matty's face and Ross and Adam cheer and laugh as George groans.

"At least try to keep it down" they hear George shout as Matty skillfully opens the door, before slamming it shut.

He's setting her on her feet before lightly pressing her against the wall.

"I'm not going to break Matty" she says and his grip tightens then, forcing himself to stand in-between her hips. His hips press against hers and she moans, the sound slipping into his mouth, tongue playing with hers as her hands grasp his hair.

"Baby" he groans as she tugs at the curls.

"Hmm" she moans against his mouth, parting their lips briefly before he's taking a step back.

He stares at her for a few moments, smirking and shaking his head to himself.

"Forgot you were wearing that top" he says making her look down at the fabric. Her fingertips find the hem of it but before she can tug it over her head his fingers are stopping her movements.

"Keep it on" he says, voice deep: barely a grumble, but the noise awakens something inside her and she's pushing herself off the wall, capturing his lips with hers. They move quickly against each other and he can't believe how bad he wants her, but he is yet to prove his words.

"Slow down love, we've got all the time in the world" he says, pulling away from her slightly, pressing featherlight kisses around her face, making her giggle.

He pulls back to look at her again, not able to get enough. She pouts at him and makes grabby hands making him chuckle.

"Want you to fuck me" she admits and he throws his head back and groans. He wants that so badly but right now he needed to prove how sorry he was and he only knew one way he could truly do that.

"Trust me love, we will get to that" he says and she sighs as she pouts again. He steps forward again, grasping the edges of her skirt. He looks deeply into her eyes as he pushes the fabric upwards so it's resting against her hips, revealing her black lace underwear.

"You're so fucking gorgeous" he says and her breath falters as the curly haired man drops to his knees in front of her. His next words nearly have her cumming on the spot.

"Let me worship you" he says and she throws her head back in a moan as his swollen lips press against her inner thighs. Her hands quickly weave into his hair, interwoven in the strands as she tugs at them, needing more of him.

"Baby I'm so sorry" he says, and a kiss is delivered to her clothed centre: she gasps.

"Want to show you how sorry I am, will you let me show you how sorry I am?" He murmurs against her covered core, the vibrations making her arch against the wall.

She's nodding and although he sees her through his eyelashes he needs to hear her say it.

"Need to hear you love" he says and she's quickly moaning out a "please Matty" and that's all he truly needs before he's tugging her underwear down her legs. He helps her step out of it and she chuckles as he stuffs them into his back pocket, smirking up at her before delving in.

He starts with a soft kiss to her clit, loving the way such a simple act has her eyes fluttering shut. They snap open as he pulls back, stopping his movements all together.

"There's a good girl, keep those beautiful eyes open for me, think you can do that yeah? Need you to see how sorry I am" he says and she's nodding harshly, wanting nothing more than to have him on her again. He lowers his lips to her centre again, another kiss being placed against her swollen bud.

He presses kiss after kiss on her clit, around her thighs and over her mound, her hands are pressing against the back of his head, wanting more friction from the heavenly looking man in-between her thighs.

"Matty please" she begs again, his eyes find hers and he knows he's done for.

"Okay love, just wanted to love on you for a second" he says making her smile down at him. The smile drops from her face not a second later as another kiss is pressed against her clit. This time his tongue splays out flat across the surface and he sucks. He smirks as her hands fly back to his hair.

He sucks the bundle of nerves harshly, whispering "I'm sorry" in-between every suck that's delivered.

She goes to beg for more but her prayers are answered as his tongue makes a few calculated swipes across her folds, dipping into her core at the last moment.

"Fuck Matty" she moans, she had always thought that Matty looked like a good kisser and of course that had been confirmed. But never in the time she had known him had she thought he would be this good at giving head. She had heard rumours when they were younger, she had thought they were just the mutterings of desperate girls, but now, with the same boy she used to shamefully fantasise about, in-between her thighs, eating her up like she was honey: she knows for a fact they were right.

"Taste so good sweetheart, going to let me have more of you?" He asks moaning into her dripping cunt, making her spasm at the vibrations.

All she can do is nod down at him. He doesn't do anything and she knows he wants to hear her again.

"Take it, take it all" she says, not making my sense in her own mind but that's all he needs to hear before his tongue is plunging into her, curling up inside her and hitting her soft spot.

Her moans are loud now but neither of them care.

"So sorry love" he speaks in-between strokes of his tongue "don't know how you ever could've thought I hated you". A swipe of his tongue, a moan from her, a suck on her clit, a tug of his hair.

"You're too fucking amazing to hate" he admits and she trashes against the wall, the pleasure almost too much to bare. His words were only making her pleasure more intense and their unbroken eye contact had her moaning his name like a mantra.

"I'm sorry" he says again, before his tongue is curling into her again.

"Matty" she says and he knows she needs more.

"What do you need baby?" He asks and her eyes are fluttering shut before opening to look at him again. The sight is devilish, his curls are a mess on top of his head, his lips were swollen and glistening with her juices and his eyes were the darkest she had ever seen them. Her eyes wandered down for a moment, seeing a clear bulge resting against his trousers: he was enjoying this.

"Need your fingers" she admits and he gets back to work, sucking on her clit as his fingers spread over her folds, teasing her before one dips in. It's the first time he's had his fingers in her and he knows he'll be addicted to this too: what with the way she's saying his name and begging for more.

"Fucking hell" he murmurs against her "so fucking tight"

The feeling was euphoric, she had always been obsessed with his hands, how large, calloused and veiny they were, especially when he played guitar, but having his long fingers dip inside her pulsating walls had her moaning louder now. He curved his finger into her before adding another one, his tongue working on her clit.

"Matty" she sighs, her moans stopping as her mouth hung open. He could tell she was close by that simple fact. She was so blissed out she could no longer moan, all she could do was chant his name as he chanted an aray of "I'm sorry's" and "could never have hated yous". She grasps his curls tightly in her hands, pushing his head further into her, making him moan around her clit.

"Let go, for me love" he says "want to taste you" he admits and that's all it takes before she's spasming against the wall, her eyes snapping shut as she tips over the edge.

"Matty" his name is drawn out and he swears it's the best thing he's ever heard, it has him moaning against her as she coats his tongue in her juices.

His moaning at the taste of her, sweet like honey.

He's quick to support her now slaking body, standing from in-between her thighs to hold her waist tightly, kissing her neck and lips lightly as she came down from her high.

Her legs were like jelly and she was undeniably grateful he was holding her up.

"You with me love?" He asks and she nods into his neck, pressing her own kisses to his warm skin.

"You're really fucking good at that" she says, unintentionally stroking his ego.

"Yeah?" He says, smirking down at her as she moves from her place in his neck. His hard on is pressing against her thigh and she can't help but let her eyes drift down.

"Don't worry about me love" he says, fingers pressing against her chin so she's looking at him. He grasps her chin and pulls her gently towards him, several soft, loving kisses being pressed against her lips, making her sigh against him. The rough, fast or harsh kisses were euphoric but those soft ones he delivered to her mouth had her heart pounding at a hundred miles per hour.

"Trust me I haven't even started showing you how sorry I am, that was just a start" he admits and she smiles against his lips.

"Okay...." She drifts off, handing diving down his chest to rest against his lower abdomen, feeling his v-lines through his shirt.

"But.. how about for now" she says, sucking his neck, his ear, anything she could press her lips against "I show you how thankful I am" she says and he groans as her hands cup him through his trousers.

"You don't have to thank me love" he says, although he'd love nothing more than for her to get him off.

"Oh I want to" she says, her sultry tone has him twitching under her palm.

"Fuck" he says, smashing his lips back to hers. They're rudely interrupted by a knock on the door and they both groan as they're forced to pull apart.

"You too need to stop fucking because we need to leave" they hear George say.

They pull apart, Matty adjusting himself to hide his erection as she tugs her skirt back down. He goes to offer her underwear to her but she simply smirks before opening the door and walking out, tugging him with her, forcing him to quickly stuff them back into his trousers before anyone saw.

He shakes his head at her before they walk hand in hand, following the boys to the cars that wait for them outside. Their hands drop from each other's as they see a collection of fans standing opposite their cars, they all wave a smile at them before getting into the vehicle.

Part 6

[tillthelandslide]

I really need to see Matty looking after Lou after she got the tattoo, maybe he helps with the aftercare, wrapping it etc... And how he can't stop looking at it and smiling

A/n: omg thank you for this, I love this and I thank you for sending this in... I wanna do more little blurbs like this about the ia series... I added a little reaction into this too. Don't know if this is what you wanted but.... Hope you like it?

Matty insists going to the tattoo studio with her but she's just as stubborn as him, telling him she wants to go alone, so he allows her, although he's pouting about it as she leaves him. She gets the tattoo done, in the same place as Matty's but on the other arm, opposite his. She returns to their hotel after that and Matty is a bit annoyed that he doesn't know she's back, only finding out when he stubbles across her in their living area of their room, the whole band crowded around her, looking at the tattoo beneath the wrap.

"How comes I'm the last to see" Matty pouts, trying to push his way through the group to find her.

His eyes land on her arm, smiling widely at the tattoo but more so at the positioning of it. His hand gently takes her arm in his, taking a closer look at it.

"Love" he says, smiling at her.

"Like it?" The question seems ridiculous because it's basically the same as all of their tattoos, but it means so much more than that.

"Love it" he says, standing to the left of her and taking her hand in his, smiling at the way their tattoos touch, she winces slightly at the pain but then smiles, nodding at him, letting him know that's exactly the reason she got it there.

Everyone smiles at them and two hours later, when she takes the wrap off, they all take a picture of their tattoos together, some standing a bit awkwardly (Ross for example) to get theirs in frame. After an awkward amount of shuffling about, they finally find a way that shows all of them and Jamie takes a picture, sending it to their group chat.

Matty's is then tugging Lou off somewhere, insisting that he helps clean, moisturise and then re-wrap it. He gently pushes Lou until she's resting in a comfortable position next to the sink, resting her bottom on the edge of the bath tub, draping her arm over the basin and washing the tattoo with warm water and suds.

"Doesnt hurt does it? Not too hot? Not too cold?" He asks all at once making her chuckle.

"No Matty I'm fine" she says and he still looks worried.

"You're sure?" She nods, leaning up to kiss him gently.

He gently dries it before leaning down to place a soft kiss against the skin, before reaching for the moisturiser the tattoo artist gave her, applying a small amount and gently massaging it in. For some reason he softly blows against the skin, maybe thinking it would help it dry quicker.

He comes to sit next to her, the bath tub digging slightly into his bum, making him realise maybe this wasnt the most comfortable place to sit. He rests his arm against hers, their tattoos adjacent to one another. The smile on his face is addictive and makes one of similar calibre rest against her own mouth.

His eyes keep flicking between his and hers, smiling at how identical they were. He slowly lifts her arm closer to his eyes again, impressed with the fine line artwork.

"How did you get it to be identical to mine?" He asks, completely in awe, with the fact she wanted it to be the same as his and the fact she finally has it, officially a part of the band.

"Sent them a picture of yours... Quite a few actually" she chuckles, he looks at her in shock, before a cheeky smile rises to his face.

"And how did you get those aye?" He asks.

"I have my ways" she lifts his own arm to her mouth now, kissing his tattoo this time.

"Cheeky" he says but his ego has inflated way too much to say anything else, he just smirks to himself. He knows what he means to her now, it was obvious.

He gently taps the tattoo, feeling that the moisturiser had sunk it a good amount, apologising when she lightly winces.

"Okay love, hold your arm out" he says and she does as he says, allowing him to wrap the tattoo, gently securing it with tape, smiling all the while down at it

"Beautiful" he says and they walk hand in hand back to the room to join the boys. Tattoos resting against each other, box against box.

[tillthelandslide]

I really wanna see what the boys / Matty would be like when Lou gets sick on tour

Another scheduled post but enjoyyyyyy. Loved writing this one bc thought the idea was freaking adorable

Series Masterlist

Previous part

She had been off the whole show, her voice still sounded amazing but she kept having to take time out at the end of a song and blow her nose or drink some water.

The tour manager was standing at the side of the stage with Jamie, both of them kept looking at her, furrowing their eyebrows. At one point she heard Matty speak into her in ears "are you alright love?" He asks and she watches as all the boys look over at her, awaiting her reply.

She chuckles before saying "feel like death", it's dramatic and she's (half) joking but they all look worried as they look at her. The whole ordeal goes seemingly unnoticed by the crowd and they continue the set.

"don't think I can do about you..." she says at one point when she's off stage, taking a much needed out when she got given the opportunity, when it was only Matty performing.

Jamie stares at her, looking over her features, almost scanning her face. He could tell she looked disappointed and upset but more than anything she looked tired and a little clammy.

He places a hand against her forehead "love you're boiling, you need to rest" Jamie says and Lou's the one furrowing her eyebrows now.

"what are you saying? Not to go back out there?" She asks, before she sneezes again.

The rest of the boys come off stage, having finished the first half.

Jamie looks behind her and begins talking to someone (Matty) "she can't go back out there, she's burning up and she needs to rest", she feels a hand on her shoulder so she turns, seeing Matty.

He looks more worried than the rest of them and the most worried she had ever seen him. He takes in her disheveled appearance, features softening as a hand rests against her forehead.

"You alright love?" He asks, despite knowing she wasn't. She shakes her head and he sees tears appear in her eyes, not wanting to disappoint the band, she needed him to make the decision right now, if not to just take the pressure of her.

"don't worry bout it love. I've got you" he says, gently pulling her to him, placing a gentle kiss to the side of her head.

He turns almost immediately to the group "okay Jamie, you alright to take over all the keys?" He asks and squire nods.

"Polly, can you jump on backing vocals and do Lou's part for about you?"

"of course" she says and Matty then turns to her.

"sorted" he smiles down at her.

"but-"

"nope, you're going to go back to the hotel, Jamie will get you everything you need and you're going to rest until you're better okay?" He all but demands and she smiles a tired but soft smile at him, nodding.

"Good" he says, pulling her into a hug "I'll be right with you as soon as we're done" he says, with a kiss to her head.

"okay that's enough, we don't need you getting sick too" Jamie says, practically having to pull Matty off her.

"I love you" Matty says before he has to walk back on stage. They miss the smiles in everyone's faces at his words.

Jamie drives with her to the hotel and he helps her get undressed (respectfully of course) seeing as she had no energy to do it herself.

"Jamie I think I'm going to faint" she says as she tries to grab a shirt from her suitcase, he's quick to grab her as she wobbles.

Jamie looks around the room, finding a black shirt folded on the bed, he quickly grabs it and helps her put it on before he's ushering her into the bed.

Her eyes are heavy and she's slowly drifting off to sleep but can hear him shuffle around the room.

"Lou... Love, you've for water here and some cough syrup, some paracetamol..." He continues listing the things he's put on her bedside table but she's too sleepy to pay attention. She moves about in the bed, suddenly getting a wiff of Matty's scent making her eyes snap open. Upon reflection she sees that she's wearing his shirt.

"This is Matty's shirt..." She says weakly, smiling before groaning as she coughs more.

"It will have to do" Jamie says, she wasn't complaining anyway.

"okay... I'll be right across the hall okay? And Matty will be back soon to look after you" Jamie says and she smiles.

"Going to let him? Might get sick?" She says, her words coming out in a jumbled mess but Jamie understands.

"I couldn't stop that man if I tried... Not when it comes to you" she falls asleep after that, only waking when she hears the door open and Mattys voice.

"Hiya love... How ya feeling?" He asks and she realises he's sitting on the bed next to her.

"like death" she says, coughing some more. Matty leaves her a second before he's back at her side with some water and medicine.

"take these" he says, his voice stern.

"don't want them" she moans.

"Lou.... Take the god damn medicine" he says and she groans before doing as he says. He returns the items to where he found them before pulling her to his chest.

"Now sleep" he demands.

"don't want you getting sick"

"well I'm not going anywhere that's for sure. Now sleep" she couldn't disobey his order if she tried, she was to tired and ill for that anyway.

The next morning it's George who she wakes up too, he's brought her soup and more medicine.

"Matty had to attend to a dirty hit thing... Hates Jamie for it... But you've got me instead" George says and then he's making her drink the soup he's brought and take the medicine.

"Need anything else love?" George says, knowing one thing: she was clingy when she's ill.

"Could do with a cuddle from my best friend" he's lying back against the headboard of the bed then, pulling her into him and wrapping his arms around her.

The door opens at one point when she's drifted off the sleep in George's arms, revealing Ross who smiles sympathetically at her.

"How's she feeling" he asks, standing at the end of the bend.

"Bit better" George says, looking down at his best friend, moving some hair from her face. Her eyes drift open and she smiles up at Ross.

"Hi rockstar" he says making her smile wider.

"Jamie's going to kill me if I get all of you ill" she says and Ross chuckles.

"How about you let us worth about that? We want to be here" he says and George nods in agreement.

"Hanns gone to get you more medicine" Ross informs them before crawling into the bed, huffing her tightly, nodding to George to let him know he could go if he wanted. She then proceeds to fall asleep again. Waking up to Hann who gives her a tight squeeze and her medicine, wanting be careful as he didn't want to get sick and risk making Carly sick too.

One things for certain, every single one of them would be tending to her as much as they could when she was ill and they would be adamant that she wasn't to perform until she was 100% better.

[tillthelandslide]

Pressure Masterlist - Ross Macdonald Series

Warnings: mentions of death from the start, angst from the start, romance throughout, love, eventual smut, heart break, secret romance.

Description: Eliza is George's best friend, but when something awful happens to her and her world comes crashing down, Ross is the one she finds herself drawn too, Ross is the one that heals her broken heart, with him, things don't seem so bad and Eliza feels free. Can their secret romance heal her broken soul? And what will happen if George finds out about their secret affair?

Prologue

Gone

Missing

The Grim Reaper

[tillthelandslide]

Pressure Part 2: Missing - Ross Macdonald Series

A/n: really hope you enjoy this new chapter. Tumblr loves to silence me so it would mean a lot of you were to reblog this :) let me know what you think and if you have any ideas, feel free to message me. Let me know if you'd like to be a part of the taglist

Warnings: main character smoking weed, brief mention of drug abuse (kind of), bit of a rollercoaster

Taglist: @thefrontofmymind @throughthepostmodernlens @scooby-doodoo @confusedcrayon @fallingforel @zzzhealy @achangeofheartx @alien-girl-violet

1 missed call from George.

3 messages from Matty.

2 messages from Charli.

1 message from Jamie.

0 missed calls from Ross, 0 texts

1 year and 2 months since Alex.

They were hiding in some dark corner of today's venue, speaking in hushed tones, pressed closely together, different music equipment crowded around them, doing a good job of hiding them. Her hands were resting against his chest as his took in her waist, lips moving against each other as they quietly giggled like teenagers. They remember the days when they were teenagers, acting very similarly to how they were now, hiding this huge secret from their best friends. They felt like there was often this shift in their relationship, they were adults now and they both knew they weren't messing about anymore, this was serious, it was unspoken and sometimes that wasn't enough for Ross, he wanted to know for certain that she was his. But in moments like these, when her soft mouth was pressing relentlessly against his, his mouth swallowing her giggles, pressed tightly against each other, everything else just disappeared.

They kept hearing people walk past, hushing each other when it was someone particularly important. They could hear George asking someone where Ross was, just as Ross had pushed himself forward slightly and against her core, making him groan into her mouth.

"Shhhh" she hushes him, trying not to laugh at the whole ordeal, this would not be the ideal time for her best friend to find out.

Ross continues pressing his lips to hers, eagerly finding her tongue, making her sigh against him.

"Where is this freaking man?" They hear George shout. They both have to suppress their laughter.

"Babe calm down, he's probably on the phone to rob" they hear Charli say.

"Well he's supposed to be doing his fucking job" they laugh at that and pull away from each other.

"You should probably go before he kills you" she murmurs as he places gentle kisses to her mouth. He nods against her, despite not wanting to leave her, mouths separating before meeting again as he does.

They leave one after another after that and she pretends she's only just arrived when she finds the rest of the men in the main room backstage, accepting the firm hug from Charli and then George before she sees Ross behind her, having walked the long way round so they didn't arrive together.

"Where the hell have you been?" George asks and she tries to hide her smirk, doing so quite successfully, although Ross' eyes glint as they find hers.

"On the phone to my brother... Were you looking for me?" He says, reaming unbelievably calm and collected.

"For fucking ages mate" George says making her laugh. Ross smiles at her and she really has to try not to laugh as he speaks.

"You're here! Hi" he says, as if they hadn't just been making out for the past 10 minutes. They hug and she sighs against his chest, chuckling into him so only he can hear.

"Ah good you found Ross" Matty says, and the large man leaves her hold, making her pout "oh and Eliza's here, wonderful" Matty says and he hugs her briefly, before addressing the band.

"Why do you look disheveled?... Whatever they want us for soundcheck" Matty says, looking at Ross,Eliza has to stop herself from chuckling at the whole ordeal. The band leave after that, being ushered away by Matty, meaning Charli and Eliza are left on their own.

Charli's eyebrows raise at her and she feels confused.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks and Charli shakes her head at her.

"I know the look of someone whose getting good dick... That hickey on your neck and the way you're glowing are tell tell signs" Charli says, she feels conflicted at her own words but she knows, more than anything, Eliza needed her to be normal, just Charli. She knows Eliza wouldn't want her constantly checking on her, she needed Charli to be Charli: her fun, crazy best friend, she needed to joke about sex and laugh at weird jokes and gossip about people. Her hands snap up to her neck and Charli chuckles, there isn't a single mark on her neck.

"I fucking knew it! Who's the lucky fella?" She asks, the two girls coming to sit on the one of the sofas. She doesn't know what to say so laughs and tries to deter the conversation.

"You're ridiculous" it seems to work.

"Whatever, don't tell me... It's not like I'm your best friend or anything" Charli says, knowing George is actually her best friend but she also knows she's a close second.

"It's complicated char, just leave it yeah?" She asks nicely and Charli nods, holding her hands up, letting the other woman know she's dropping it.

Charli wants nothing more to ask her if she's okay, but she knows she will most likely deflect, or she'll lie. So they simply talk about random things and before they know it the boys have returned, George making a direct belign to the girls, squishing himself between them, pressing a hard kiss to both their cheeks making them squirm.

"Ew stop" she says, making Charli and the man child that's in-between them laugh. She manages to escape his grasp, jokingly shoving her best friend away from her. Ross walks in the room, their eyes instantly finding each other, knowing they needed to come up with an excuse to get away from the group, so they could be alone.

"Coming with me?" She hears behind her, making her turn her head, finding Matty with a cigarette resting casually between his lips. Her eyes flick back to Ross, he scans her features and then frowns, knowing she'd be joining Matty, she flicks her head in Matty's direction, silently asking Ross to join them.

She shrugs before turning back to Matty "yeah I'll come" she watches as the curly hair man points behind her "you coming mate?". She smiles to herself as she walks ahead of them, knowing Matty had just asked Ross who couldn't deny him. She gets outside before they do, pulling a blunt from her bag and lighting it, needing something more than a cigarette.

Ross and Matty come through the double doors only a few seconds later, Matty laughing upon seeing her, but Ross' eyebrows furrow.

"If I had known you were carrying greater goods I would've got sound check done earlier" Matty says making himself laugh. He goes to grab the blunt from her but she pulls it away so it's out of reach.

"You've got a stage to be on in less than an hour" she says, it's not the actual reason she doesn't want to share but it will do, it makes Matty give in.

Ross doesn't care about people smoking weed, or doing drugs for that matter (he gets worried when people do hard core drugs, especially around Matty) but with the rate he's seen her smoking it recently, he can't help but worry.

"Why are you smoking weed then miss Eliza?" Matty says, hooking an arm around her shoulder. He immediately regrets his words, the reason was obvious and he feels like an utter dick for saying it. She immediately shrugs him off which makes him laugh, Eliza doesn't miss the way Ross clenches his jaw.

"Aren't you being nosey today mate?" Ross says, his words playing off as a joke but she knows he's actually telling Matty to back off. Matty holds his hands up, he always was a quick smoker so reaches the end of his cigarette and stubs it out.

"Alright alright" he says before he heads back in, leaving the two of them outside.

"How do we always end up here?" She chuckles. The particular venue they were at today, had its smoking area situated in the back corner, hidden from anyone who they wouldn't want to be caught by.

"Hmm, think..." He says, taking a step closer to her, hands reaching out for her hips, he pulls her towards him before moving them both back so he's against the wall and she's against his body.

"Think we usually end up like this" he says making her chuckle, throwing her blunt to the floor and clasping his jaw. The both of them we're thankful George would be too wrapped up with the show and his girlfriend right now to search for them.

"Missed you" he mumbles against her lips as they come to meet his.

"You were without me for about 30 minutes" she chuckles, her words momentarily breaking their mouths before they're against each other again. The only time she forgot about every horrible thing going on in her life was when she was with him. Their lips and bodies didn't even have to be intertwined but it sure did help.

"Still missed you... Feel like I haven't had you alone to myself in awhile" he says, pulling back from her mouth to properly speak. He sighs, knowing he just had to ask her.

"Are you okay love?" He asks and she sighs. He's probably the only person at the moment who she wouldn't get annoyed at if they asked.

"No" she chuckles "you help though" she says, trying to kiss him again but he stops her.

"No wait Eliza... Come on, talk to me" he says, and she signs again, starting to get annoyed.

"Ross... Don't ruin it" she says and he sighs now, dropping his hands from her waist.

"That's not fair" his tone is snappy and his eyes find hers, letting her know he's sorry for speaking that way.

"It's not like we haven't spoke about it... So why won't you talk now?" He asks, hands returning to her waist.

"Because I don't want to Ross. I don't want to think about any of it... Thought that was pretty fucking obvious" she snaps, but it's true, Ross knows she only smokes weed when she doesn't want to think about her problems, when she just wants her brain to be silent. Her eyes find his now and she's the one apologising for speaking that way.

"Let's just leave it yeah?" She asks and despite every desire he has to keep pressing until she tells him the truth, he nods. He leans down to press a kiss to her mouth, one in which tells her he's got her, he's here and he's sure as hell not going anywhere. If they weren't going to speak about everything that was going on with her, Ross knew he needed to at least show her how he felt. Show her that he was there for her, always.

She stands at his side of the stage, during some songs she's there, fully present in mind and body, during others she's standing there, but Ross can tell she's not present. Others she's just not there, it makes Ross worry, where has she gone? Who's she with? Is she safe?

And then she appears again, a bottle of wine in her hand or a cigarette, or both.

She smiles at him and wiggles her eyebrows at times, sometimes she's just his girl, his little secret, the person she was before. She was Eliza, just Eliza. But then he could see the pain come tumbling down on her again, and once again she'd disappear.

Four songs to the end and she was gone for good, having not come back since the last time she left. He hopes she's just with Jamie or Charli or someone else backstage, someone trusted.

He's the first to leave the stage, receiving a look from Charli as he walks past. So she wasn't with Charli, shit.

He tries to find her in a rush, practically barging through every door of every room trying to find her. Eventually he looks in his own room, unsure why he didn't check there first. He finds her in a ball on the sofa, one of Ross' jumpers slumped over her body, practically finishing at her calves.

Her soft eyes find his as he enters and he's with her in the next second, pulling her into his lap, her bated breath steading as he holds her, kisses pressed to her head.

"You were really good out there...." She says weakly "always amazing" he hushes her, she didn't need to say that now.

"I'm here love, I've got you" he says and he feels her breathing slow to a normal rate.

"You've got me" she says, needing to confirm his words out loud to quiet her determined but harsh brain.

"Yeah I've got you love. Always" he says, she turns her head to look at him, taking in his post-performance appearance.

His hand gently smooths down her cheek, a gentle touch that has her eyes fluttering momentarily before her green eyes are finding his brown ones again.

Her mind is silenced as she looks at him, nothing clouding her mind or cracking her heart, the pit in her stomach has gone, replaced but a warm fuzzy feeling.

"Are you okay?" He asks, he has to.

"I am now" she says, it's the truth.

"Eliza" he says.

"Shhhh" she leans forward, pressing her mouth to his. He can't help but lean into it, hand grasping her jaw and pulling her closer. He tries his hardest to break the kiss but she was his opposite pole, together they were a magnet, slotting perfectly together and difficult to pull apart. Eventually they're forced to pull away when they hear the door knob rattle. Lucky he locked the door.

"Ross... Have you seen Eliza? George is looking for her" they hear Charli say.

"I think she knows anyway" she says and Ross nods, having thought the same thing recently. They both stand and Ross opens the door. Charli sees her standing behind her, his large frame nearly completely covering hers. She's silent for a second, eyes flicking between them.

"George is looking for you" she says, there's a hesitance to her voice. She didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, she didn't want them to worry about her telling George because she wouldn't. She couldn't. She didn't know anything, right now, it looked perfectly innocent and she wasnt going to rush to tell her boyfriend something that wasn't confirmed or denied. She also couldn't hurt Eliza like that if something was happening.

Whatever it was, it was clear to Charli that she was better when she was with Ross.

"Okay... I'll go find him" Eliza takes of Ross' hoodie and leaves after that. Charli and Ross stare at each other until Ross breaks.

"Please don't tell George" Ross says, serious worry sketched across his features.

"Tell George what?" Charli leaves. Ross' shoulders fall back to their normal position and the breath he didn't know he was holding escapes him.

She leaves her own hotel room as quietly as she can, slowly moving down the hall until she's reaching his door. She doesn't even knock and the door swings open, he pulls her in, taking her in his arms. She instantly feels warm in his arms, like she's stepped into the sun.

"missed you" he mumbles into her neck. George had taken her away from the group after the show, wanting some alone time with his best friend and although it was a welcomed distraction, she found herself wanting to be with Ross.

"Missed you more" she mumbles back into his chest, pulling back to look at him after she spoke. His hand finds her face, gently holding her, his thumb running across her cheek.

"You're so beautiful" he speaks the words before he even processes the fact he's saying them. She blushes deeply and smiles up at him, shaking her head but not speaking.

"come here" he pulls them to his bed, their backs finding the soft mattress. He pulls her until she's resting against his chest, his heartbeat steady against her ear. She slowly feels herself drifting off to sleep, the warmth of his body radiating hers until her soft snores fill the room.

The morning sun peaked through the curtains, illuminating her room, bands of orange and white light drifting over the contours of his face. He's stirred awake as the light flickers over his eyes, they slowly drift open, brown orbs finding her green ones.

"morning handsome" she says making him chuckle, his eyes scrunching shut for a second as he stretches, his arms reaching over his head before coming back down, resting over her frame and pulling her closer to him, making her giggle loudly.

"you're a creep" he mumbles into her neck, lips attacking the revealed skin of her neck and collar bones.

"I have no clue what you're talking about" she says, squirming away from his featherlight attack against her skin, but he keeps her in his hold.

"how long were you watching me sleep?" He says and she giggles again.

"shhh Alex might hear us" he says, pulling back to look at her, a worried expression etched across his features.

"he won't care" Eliza says as she smears her lips against Ross', the first kiss of the morning. Ross all but groans into her mouth, pulling her ever closer to his body. He's quick to push her onto her back, intertwining their bodies, making himself at home in-between her thighs.

"god I missed you" he mumbles against her mouth, his tongue then swiping along her bottom lip until it's finding hers.

"show me how much you missed me" she says and he's soon accepting the challenge.

Eventually they're in her kitchen, she's situated on the countertop, adorning a shirt of his as he cooks them breakfast.

"morning Macdonald, didn't know you were back from tour" they hear behind them, her brother making himself known, he smiles at the two of them, raising his eyebrows at his sister. Of course he did know he was back, his bags were left by their front door.

"got back last night" Ross says without much thought into his confession.

"mhmm" Alex says, raising his eyebrows again at Eliza who chuckles to herself. Ross is fully clothed now, dressed in grey joggers and an old band Tshirt.

"Feel good to be back?" Alex asks as he pours himself a cup of coffee.

"Feels amazing" Ross says, looking at Eliza and smiling. Alex moves to his sister before he speaks.

"yeah I bet it does" he says before pressing a peck to Eliza's redening cheek before leaving the room. The two laugh and she smiles at Ross, watching as his back muscles contort under his shirt as he flips the food in the sizzling pan.

"come here a second" Eliza says and Ross does as he's told, stepping in between her legs, cooking utensil in hand.

They're basically the same height at the level, which makes it far too easy for her to lean forward and press her mouth to his.

She stirs from her dream, feeling her body shaking and tears soaking her cheeks.

"love are you okay?" Ross asks, flinching at his own words, of course she wasn't okay.

"Just a dream" she says, wiping her own eyes as he pulls her closer to him.

"Alex?" The mention of his name has another tear falling and he quickly swipes if away as she nods.

"it was a good dream... not even a dream... a memory" she says, swiping her hair away from her face and sighing deeply "That morning after you got back from tour... When you cooked us breakfast" she explains and they both smile at the memory.

"That was a great day" he says and she nods, he pulls her tightly into her chest, lips pressing kisses against the top of her head, his hand soothing down her back.

"He knew back then... About us... He was so happy for me" she cries then, hiding her face into his shirt, too sad to worry about her tears soaking the fabric.

"Im so sorry love"

"it should've been me" her voice is barely a whisper but he hears it, instantly pulling her back from his chest to look at her.

"don't. Don't say that" he says, shaking his head, sadness written all over his face.

"why? Alex didn't deserve it... He was too good" she says and Ross frowns.

"He didn't deserve it, you're right... But neither do you love. It's not a trade off... Not you or him... It was an accident, a terrible one..." He says and she nods, but something doesn't sit right with her still.

"I'd trade our positions in a heartbeat" Ross feels his heart break at that.

"love...." His voice trials off, she pouts up at him, her lips quivering. He chooses to drop what he wanted to say, that she was too good, that Alex would've wanted her to be the one that lived and that she was needed. Ross needed her more than anything and although selfish and maybe insensitive, he wouldn't swap the siblings positions if he had the chance.

He pulls her back to his chest and holds her until her body stops shaking and her tears stop falling. He doesn't speak what's on his mind.

"Do you think we've put Charli in an awkward position?" She finally speaks out, her voice stronger than before, no longer laced with tears.

"No love... Don't think you need to worry about that" Ross speaks, his lips pressing until the side of her head. She moves against his chest, resting her cheek against his shoulder so she can look at him.

Her small hand glides against his jaw, thumb running along his cheekbone, eyes hovering over his features. Her eyes moved to his red lips that were plump and easily stretched into a smile as he looked down at her, watching as she admired him. Hovering over the contours of his face, watching as the apples of his cheeks filled out as he smiled, the dimples she adored popping, the whites of his teeth shining in the dim light of the room. Her hands smoothed over his beard, the crinkles that were always formed by his eyes as he smiled ceasing as they fluttered shut for a second. Her hands continue to move, pushing back some of the hair that had fallen in front of his face, free from its usual confines of a bun. Her eyes finally stop at his eyes, which bore into hers, the brown smooth like honey but more akin to chocolate.

She could get lost in his beautiful orbs and often allowed herself too. They looked lighter than usual, the soft light that was cast over the room (indicating that it was already the early hours of the morning) made them lighter, revealing shades of yellow and specs of green. He was truly beautiful, inside and out.

"I'm sorry" she says, her voice is the clearest it's been the whole night. She watches as his eyebrows furrow.

"What do you have go be sorry for Liza?" He asks, his own hand coming to rest against her face, drifting along the apple of her cheek, leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss against her mouth.

"You deserve better than hiding in corners at venues, sneaking around hotel rooms..." Her voice trails off, tired of listing examples because she knew they would make her feel guilty.

"but it means I get you... It's all worth it because I get you" he speaks half a truth. The full truth was that he was happy he got her but he can't deny he wanted her fully, he wanted to be able to hold her hand, hug and kiss her in front of their friends. He wanted to be able to leave and arrive at the same time, together.

She doesn't tell him her truth either, that the night Alex died, she was coming to the venue and was going to ask Ross if they could tell George: together. But that feels like a lifetime ago to her now and although the desire is still alight, she doesn't know how to navigate that conversation anymore. Not when she was still healing from losing her brother.

"I would do anything to have you L... Even for a day" he says, his words making her heart soar.

"Ross...." Is all she can manage to say and he smiles as he shakes his head.

"shhh" he presses his mouth to hers then, silencing her completely whilst simultaneously letting her know nothing else needed to be said, from her anyway.

"I will be here, as long as you'll have me love... And I know you don't think it... But I'll help you get through this" he says, mouth moving lightly against hers as he spoke before he seals his words with another kiss.

"I lo-" her words are cut off by a hush from the bearded man. He didn't need to hear those words right now, he needed to heal her in one way he knew how to.

"come here" he says, pulling her closer, a difficult feat considering their chests were already flushed together. Her limbs entangle with his as his mouth gently moves against hers, making it difficult to know where he began and she ended.

Part 3

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole - Matty Healy Series Masterlist (completed)

(cheeky little mood board for the series just cos)

Matty Healy x OFC (Lou)

Description: Lou has been George's best friend since they were babies, she grew up with the boys that grew to be the world renowned band: the 1975. Although she got along well with George, Ross and Hann, she simply despised Matty. Belonging to her own band who takes a much needed break from touring, the boys find themselves facing a difficult decision having to ask their close friend Lou to join them on tour to cover for Carly. Events unfold and tension rises between Matty and Lou, but what will happen between the pair? Read here to find out:

Playlist

Chapter 1

Part 1: Part of The Band ❤️📓 || Visual

Part 1: Part of the Band (Instagram AU) 📸

Part 2: An Encounter ❤️📓 || Visual

Part 3: Sex 💦📓

Part 4: Talk! ❤️📓

Part 4: Talk! (Instagram AU) 📸

Friendship head canons

Part 5: Don't Fuck It, You Muppet 💦

Part 5: Don't Fuck It, You Muppet

Part 6: Inside Your Mind 💦

Part 6: Inside Your Mind 📸

Matty doing Lou's aftercare for her tattoo

Part 7: All I Need To Hear 💦

Part 7: All I Need To Hear 📸

Part 8: When We Are Together

Part 8: When We Are Together 📸

Part 9: The Best Thing That Ever Happened 🍭

Part 9: The Best Thing That Ever Happened 📸

Interlude (When In Rome)

Part 10: Step Into Your Skin 💦

Part 10: Step Into Your Skin 📸

Part 11: Id Rather Jump In Your Bones 💦

Blurbs / requests (within he IA universe)

An Interrupted Interview

Part 12: I'm Just Fine 'Cause I Know That You Are Mine 💦

Part 12: I'm Just Fine 'Cause I Know That You Are Mine 📸

Part 12: I'm Just Fine 'Cause I Know That You Are Mine pt.2 📸

Chapter 2:

Part 13: I Couldn't Be More In Love

Part 14: Before You Go

Part 15: You

Part 16: Marry Me