#that being said we're very happy for you anon!
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artfightdramaconfessions · 13 days ago
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one of my favorite artists of all time joined AF so i immediately made art for him, and he dmed me thanking me, and now we're friends. turns out if you want art from your favorite artist the best trick is to just befriend them. he's chill and super nice :)
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scrompsautobotsrchives · 4 months ago
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Hello! You could write with Bumblebee ROTB where he and the reader are good friends and the autobot team receives a threat that includes hurting the reader, Bee becomes alert and watches over her, that with every little thing the reader does he looks at her, or every time For the reader to turn around, Bumblebee looks away because he doesn't want her to know that he is being overprotective of her because they are both good friends.
I saw your post about applications being open :D (Sorry if the wording is wrong, I'm using the translator) have a nice day <3
Protection squad
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No need to apologise anon, I think I understand what your asking for so here you go :D. Word count:716
You always looked forward to after school. It always meant that you could hang out with the Autobots. Bee, especially, is super excited for you to burst through the doors. He patiently waits for 3PM to ring. Just like that, he immediately saw you, trying so hard to stay still, he was just so happy to see his bestie after 6 cruel hours.
It had been fairly quiet back at the base of operations, with Optimus keeping an eye on any Decepticon activity, Mirage then heard Bee's engine as you entered the building.
"Sup y/n" He saluted you two from where he sat.
"Hey mirage, What's been happening ??" You said as you got out, Bee transforming back.
"Nothing much, Primes' got his optics locked in tight on some cons that have been getting cozy a little too close" He gestured so and so, You all haven't noticed any form of Decepticon activity ever since the trio crashed onto earth, But Optimus was always way too cautious.
"They do best to stay away, But we're keeping an eye on it" Optimus turned his head briefly to look down and greet you before going back to the screen... A message then popped up on the screen, a voice message, it started to play a little bit crackly before Optimus finally got it stable enough for it to be clear.
"This message is for Optimus Prime... We are aware of your team's location, and your human contact..."
You looked up at the screen when it was said about a human contact, surely it couldn't be you could it... "Who is it ??" Optimus held a hand out to you gently so he could continue listening.
"We are prepared to take action, If you do not surrender yourself. Your human is on the line..." The message ended there.
You and the Autobots looked at each other, Ok you were now fully scared. How did they know of them and you... Optimus frowned slightly, but bee was also very worried.
"How do they know ??" You looked up at them.
"Cons..." Mirage muttered.
"But they couldn't have found you guys already, whoever sent that has to be bluffing... right ??"
"So our enemies are closer than we have had anticipated... we will keep an eye on you and find our intruders, Bumblebee I want you to keep an eye out for y/n" He looked at his commrade.
"Yes sir..." The radio flicked as he made a salute gesture.
Bumblebee was not going to let any con hurt you, no matter what. But along the way you began to notice how protective he was... sometimes even to the extreme, He parked a little closer to the school doors, following you to your weekend job, Hell even when you had to go to the bathroom he got nervous !!
You knew Bee was just trying to look out for you, But you needed to have your space as well. It's also been a couple weeks since the message... But he still hasn't let up. Every time you turned around, he would always distance himself and feign what he was doing. What him ?? He wasn't looking, tapping his digits together and looking away ooh a butterfly.
"Bee I know your looking at me..." You sighed
He whirred a little and turned around a bit more, shuffling and flipping up his doors to shield the sides of his face. "No you don't..."
You frowned a little and gently walked to him, placing a hand gently on his digit. "I know you want to keep me safe buddy... But this... is a little extreme..."
He whirred sadly, He just wanted to keep you safe, he didn't want to let any Decepticon hurt you... He didn't want to lose the one thing that helped him with his time on earth, He was doing it cause you were his best friend.
"I know..." You reached up to wrap your arms around his neck to hug him, nice and tight. "But I'll be ok... I promise" You gently placed your hand on his cheek as he leaned into the touch. "Keep... you... safe" the radio flicked as he happily nuzzled his free cheek against yours.
Bee will keep you safe for as long as he lived, always.
Taglist: @callofdudes
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vettelsvee · 6 months ago
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CLIFFORD AND EMILY | Sebastian Vettel
history series main masterlist | requests here!
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ferrari sebastian vettel x race engineer girlfriend!reader
word count: 3195
summary: y/n tells seb that it would be a great present for his birthday to adopt a puppy, and they find the perfect one
warnings: fluff, fluff and more fluff. dad ferrari!seb as i can't get rid of him. based on 2018 season and narrated on seb's pov
a/n: once again, this is part of history series (coming soon as is being heavily edited) and translated by cele! changed my layout to my comfort people so are you like it? also, as always, i'll be waiting for your feedback, as well as comments and chats on that anon button please! and also, don't forget reblogs are truly appreciated guys! tysm <3
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© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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Normally, I didn't have trouble getting up in the mornings, especially during Grand Prix weekends, but today it had been incredibly hard to leave Y/N and Emily sleeping.
Maybe the problem was that today was my birthday, and, in part, we couldn't spend it like a normal family. I didn't mind working on such a special day, but it did bother me when I thought it was my first birthday with Emily.
Very reluctantly, I decided to start my day, trying not to let my bad mood consume me. As soon as I set foot on the floor, I adjusted the sheets to cover my girlfriend, taking the utmost care not to wake her. Nights with our daughter were exasperating, and I didn't know how Y/N managed to be at one hundred percent during team meetings, press conferences, free practice sessions, qualifying and the race, and especially the briefings and all the data analysis her job entailed.
I trained with Eddie for just an hour and a half. According to him, my birthday present was a less strict training session; even so, we ran a lap around the block where the hotel was located, and then we went straight to the gym.
At half-past seven in the morning, to my good fortune, he told me I could go back to my room to get ready for that Friday.
I entered as quickly as I could, being very careful because it was still quite early, and I assumed my girls would be resting. Deep down, I knew that wasn't going to be the case, so I wasn't surprised to see Y/N, still in her pyjamas, walking back and forth while breastfeeding Emily and trying to eat a piece of toast.
“God!” She quickly swallowed the bite and pretended she hadn't been eating. I couldn't help but laugh at how cute the scene seemed to me. “I'm so sorry, Seb. I had ordered breakfast to be brought up and ready for when you came, but I was so hungry and wasn't sure when Eddie would let you go today…”
I shook my head and approached her. I left a short kiss on her lips and then placed another on my daughter's forehead.
“Happy birthday, sunshine,” she said, wrapping her free arm around me. “How many birthdays have we spent together now? Eight?”
“Seven,” I corrected her, remembering we didn’t get to spend the 2008 one together. “And I hope there will be more because I'm not going to let you get rid of me anytime soon.”
“Do you really think I'm going to get rid of you so soon? In case you don't remember, we not only work together: we also share a house, a cat, a daughter, and we're going to have a dog…”
After that last part, Y/N let out a small scream and covered her mouth with her hand.
If I was the one who could keep secrets perfectly, Y/N Y/L/N was the complete opposite.
“What do you mean by a dog, Y/N?”
“Oh, well, I don't know… I must have mixed up some conversation I had with Aristella about Cherry,” her nerves were quite noticeable. “I got confused, and…”
“Y/N, I know you perfectly, and I know when you're lying to me. What did you mean by we’re going to have a dog?”
Given my insistence and, why not say it, the poker face I probably had, my girlfriend sighed. She placed Emily in the crib next to our bed and, while asking me to sit down and start having breakfast, took her mobile phone and immersed herself in it.
“Well, you see…” she began, sitting in front of me and taking a strawberry in her hands. “Since you adopted Vanilla as a surprise for me, I've been thinking that I would like to do the same for you, but between the chaotic 2013 we had and Emily's birth, I found it a bit impossible. It's also true that it's something I would like to discuss before doing it because it's a matter that depends not only on me but also on you,” she clarified.
“And that means…?”
“Forget it, Seb. It doesn't matter. I haven't told you anything, okay? Forget it.”
It bothered me to see her so indecisive, though it didn’t stop me from finding her idea quite endearing deep down. I knew she was nervous; the constant fiddling with the napkin and her flushed cheeks were proof of that.
“Do you want to adopt a dog?” I asked her, loud and clear.
“It’s not that I want to adopt a dog. Well, I do, but…” she sighed, stopped eating breakfast, and looked at me directly. “The thing is, I know you’d like to have a dog, and you’ve had that idea in your head for quite some time, so I thought that, only if you want, we could adopt one,” she finally explained.
“Do you want to wait until we get back home? If you want, we can talk to Michael and have him recommend…”
“No, no, not at all! I’ve already talked to Lewis about it, and he’s informed me,” she hastened to clarify. “Since I wanted to do all this, if possible, today, I asked him where he adopted Roscoe and Coco. I thought today was the perfect day for the adoption because it’s your birthday,” she repeated.
I nodded as I got up and headed towards Emily’s crib, who had started crying once more.
“I mean, all this is only if you want, of course,” Y/N spoke again. Before I could respond, she interrupted me once more. “But if you want, we can do it when we get back home. I don’t mind, except I wouldn’t have another birthday present to give you…”
Still holding the baby in my arms, I approached her and silenced her with a long, slow kiss, one I took my time with but received no complaints about, quite the opposite.
Y/N always went out of her way with gifts, even during times when her finances weren't the best. I much preferred her giving me something symbolic over an expensive whim.
So, the fact that she wanted to adopt a dog today, as my birthday present, made this thing I had wanted for so long even more special. Plus, thinking that Emily would grow up with the new member of the family made it a thousand times better.
“If my girl says it’s happening today, then we should follow her lead,” I finished saying. “What time do you think we’ll be done with everything we have to do today?”
[...]
“I hope there aren’t too many people, because if Britta finds out we’re doing all this without telling her…”
“Y/N, relax. If there’s any problem or anything, I’ll handle the press. Besides, it’s not like they don’t know me: remember I adopted Roscoe and Coco there, so they know me quite well.”
Lewis had decided to come with us to, according to him, ensure his friends received proper treatment. Deep down, I knew it was because he didn’t want to see Aristella, Britta’s niece and Y/N's best friend, hanging around Rosberg even while they were in the middle of their divorce process.
Hamilton’s concern for the girl wasn’t just something a friend would have, and I knew he was fully aware of that.
“Do you have something in mind, Seb?”
Lewis’s voice snapped me out of my trance.
“Sorry, what?”
“If you’ve thought of a name for the dog,” the dark-haired man spoke again. “I hope it’s something different from the usual. You know, the world has too many Tobys and all those common dog name variants.”
“If we’re talking about giving common names to pets, Seb is your guy,” Y/N spoke now, almost shouting. “When he adopted Vanilla just to get me to move in with him, he told me Garfield was a better name. Garfield, like the cartoon cat! If that’s not common…”
“What do you want to call an orange cat, Y/N? Vanilla? I remind you that you wanted to name her Cheeto…”
“Because she looked like a Cheeto and I thought it was a male!” she retorted. “Later, when I realised she was female and not so orange, I named her Vanilla.”
“Vanilla, I like it. It’s an… interesting name,” Lewis intervened. “Can I ask why you named her like that?”
“Y/N's favourite ice cream flavour is vanilla. That, and if you add the fact that cats are her favourite animal…” I answered in her place.
I saw Y/N's lips curve slightly in the rear-view mirror.
Then, she turned around and put a hand on my leg, stroking it.
“I hope you find the perfect name for the new family member, love. Even if it’s the same as every other dog in the world,” she said ironically.
After those words, I realised we had arrived at the shelter Lewis Hamilton seemed to admire so much.
The Brit, as he guided us towards what appeared to be the entrance, commented that we should be careful with Emily, not because the furry ones were aggressive, but because they got very excited when they had visitors, especially if they were children.
A dark-skinned woman with completely dark hair was at the door, as if she had been waiting for us for a while. Lewis gave her a hug and immediately introduced us.
“These are Sebastian Vettel, his girlfriend Y/N, and their daughter, Emily.”
She gave us a smile, and I saw she intended to shake our hands until she saw our little one. She approached to dote on her as soon as Y/N gave her permission with a glance. Emily’s laughter began to fill the room, and she started to move cheerfully in Y/N's arms.
“I’m so sorry for my lack of manners, but when I see such a beautiful baby like this little one…” the woman began to say, still playing with the child. Then, she cleared her throat and looked at both of us. “Nice to meet you, couple,” she finally shook our hands. “I’m Jade, and well, I’ve been a volunteer at this shelter since time immemorial, back in the prehistoric times.”
“Don’t say that, Jade! You look wonderful,” Lewis told her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“Don’t be so flattering, young man,” she chided him. “I appreciate all kinds of compliments for my age, but that’s not why we’re here. Well, tell me: if I’m not mistaken, and as your friend here has told me, you want to expand your family, right?”
Now she was looking intently at both of us. I nodded in response; at the same time, and by inertia, my right arm wrapped around my girlfriend’s waist, which made Emily start reaching out her little arms to come to me.
“Today is Seb’s birthday, and he’s been wanting to adopt a dog for quite some time,” my girlfriend explained.
“Oh, the adoption is a birthday gift!” Jade exclaimed, beginning to clap and approaching me quickly to give me a hug that I gladly accepted. “Happy birthday, dear! How old are you now?”
“Twenty-eight.”
“Oh, dear. If I could be that age again…”
I smiled at her response as Y/N handed me Emily, who had started babbling to come to me.
“A daddy’s girl, I see, huh?” Jade chimed in. Y/N was about to answer, but before she could even do so, the woman was already speaking again. “Well, since it’s your birthday, I think I have the perfect gift for you.”
Without saying anything more, the woman gestured for us to follow her, and we did. We passed through several areas with dogs of different ages roaming freely, who approached us to sniff and perhaps convince us to adopt them.
Lewis mentioned that some of them were related to Coco. I laughed at the supposed joke, which stopped being a joke when Jade confirmed it. Y/N lagged behind a few times because she stopped to play with the dogs that approached her, which were quite a few. Emily and I, however, kept a brisk pace, possibly eager to find out what the woman was talking about and why she was being so mysterious.
Finally, we arrived at a kind of room with less light than I expected and, to my surprise, full of what seemed to be soft little beds. On top of them, not only was there a dog lying down that seemed quite tired, but there were also several puppies nursing from her.
Jade indicated before we entered that we should remain silent.
“One of our dogs gave birth last night,” she told us. “I don’t want to give all her puppies up for adoption since I’d like at least one to stay with her, but considering that the puppies and you share a birthday, I’d be delighted if you adopted one of them.”
I opened my eyes wide and couldn’t say anything. Next to me, Y/N seemed to have reacted the same way I did.
Saying we were surprised would be an understatement.
“But… are you serious?” my girlfriend commented, still in surprise.
“Of course, dears!” the woman responded cheerfully. “The only issue, so to speak, though it’s not really a problem, is that it’ll take about a month and a half before you can take him home. You know, the separation process from the mother is crucial.”
“No problem, really. We’ll wait as long as it takes,” I finally spoke. “Besides, I think we have a break around that time, right?”
“Yes, about a month,” Lewis replied.
“We’ve already got our vacation destination, sunshine,” Y/N said to me, apparently much more excited than I was.
“Now, I need you to tell me something important: which one of them do you want to be your little girl’s new brother?”
Still holding Emily, Y/N and I carefully approached the puppies.
To our eyes, they all looked exactly the same. We couldn’t see their eyes, but I was almost convinced they would be similar to the colour of their fur, a light brown skin similar to beach sand. They were huddled together and didn’t seem to be doing anything other than trying to nurse for as long as possible.
“Do you know what breed or mix they are?” Y/N asked the lady with that characteristic curiosity of hers.
“If I remember correctly, their mother is a golden retriever and their father, a big labrador.”
My girlfriend thanked her, turning towards her and leaving Emily by herself for a moment. At that point, seemingly unaware that her mother wasn't watching her every move, the little one began to crawl towards the puppies. Instinctively, I quickly scooped her up in my arms to prevent her from doing so. However, she didn't seem to give up: she started kicking until, just like that, I brought her a little closer to the furry animals.
While Y/N and Lewis chatted with Jade, I remained seated on the floor next to my daughter, who seemed to have settled on a particular puppy. I tried shifting her gaze from side to side, attempting to get her to notice the rest of them, but it seemed the one farthest from its mother had caught her attention the most.
“I think Emily has chosen who’s going to be her adopted sibling, hasn’t she?” I remarked.
As soon as I said that, the three of them turned towards me, crouching down to my level. Emily was still engrossed with that little one and seemed to continue being so until we left.
“Have you chosen for Daddy, Emi?” Y/N asked, almost lying on the floor to join the game that Emily was playing with the one who seemed to be our new child. “Do you want this to be your new little brother? Or sister, of course.”
“He's a boy, actually,” Jade intervened. “And, if I’m honest and don't recall incorrectly, he’s the oldest of the whole litter.”
“Do you want to adopt this little one then, sunshine? Honestly, if you’re not convinced we can wait a bit…” Y/N whispered as if wanting it to be a secret between us.
“Clifford,” I suddenly blurted out.
They looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. Of course, I would act the same if someone dropped a name out of nowhere in a situation like this.
“I want to name him Clifford,” I clarified. “Remember the series about that big red dog you told me you watched with your sisters when they were little?” I asked my girlfriend, who nodded. “Well, if I remember correctly, you told me that the main character of the series, who was also the owner of the dog, was named Emily.”
“What’s that got to do with it, love?” she asked, curious. Did she really not know why I had suggested that name?
“Well, it just so happens that your daughter is named Emily and she seems to have chosen for us.”
Y/N’s eyes lit up and widened exaggeratedly. I swear I saw them get a little misty when she finally seemed to understand what I meant. Immediately, she stood up, took the baby in her arms, and began to talk to her while they played as if they were the only ones in the room.
“I guess I already have a birthday present, right?” I asked the redhead, standing beside her and giving her a kiss on the forehead and another to our daughter.
“Emily and Clifford…” she murmured. “I like it. I love it, actually.”
“Well, I hope that when we have the next baby, I can nail it in the same way.”
Jade, after the last sentence that I had just said, was left dumbfounded. Lewis, for his part, tried to turn a deaf ear and, instead, told me that they would be waiting for us at the entrance to do all the necessary paperwork, not without whispering to me in the least blatant way possible that he hoped that this would be my other birthday present.
Obviously, he deserved a well-deserved punch from Y/N.
“Are you already thinking about the next baby, love? Emily hasn’t even turned one yet!”
“I always think about the second baby, to be honest,” I replied. I was convinced, and I knew as well as she did that we had barely laid the foundations of our family. “A puppy brother for Emily is fine, but a human one would be a thousand times better. Don’t you think so?”
Y/N rolled her eyes and turned away, heading towards the shelter entrance. I quickly caught up with her, and her laughter filled my ears.
“If you're already thinking about our second baby, then we'll have to listen to Lewis and start practising tonight before dinner with my parents,” she suggested.
Her mischievous look infected me, and I couldn’t help but return it.
“As the birthday boy, I vote for squeezing in a free practice session before dinner with my parents tonight. How does that sound?”
“Whatever you wish, birthday boy,” she replied. “But I hope you come up with a good enough excuse for them not to suspect anything when we arrive late, and also when you ask if they can keep Emily overnight.”
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thehandmaidenofcreativity · 7 months ago
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Long idea so bare with me. You are a college student (fem pov) and you and you family are visiting your uncle for the summer. Your uncle just happenes to be JY Park (JYP) so you go to South Korea and that’s when you meet the group your uncle owns… stray kids. Now your dad really wants you to go on a date with one of them but you think that stray kids are actually stuck up and entitled so your like nope.your like ya there very fucking hot but…Then you get to know them and there not just hot as hell (and horny) but also good people. But your angry at your father so you don’t want to do what he asked but stray kids are so hot, so you sneak out to there dorm to do some not so kid friendly stuff if you get my drift. You can build on from that but that’s just an idea. Love your stuff <3 keep writing!
Wow hi! I was so shocked (and happy!) to get this ask. It was a little daunting, but I actually really enjoyed working on it. So thank you:) I hope you end up seeing this, Anon!
Comments: This is part one in what will likely be an ongoing series in which the reader will eventually be involved with all 8 members, but for now, we're starting with Seungmin and Hyunjin.
Rating: Explicit/18+
WC: 7.5k
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
“Can you at least pretend you’re happy to be here?” Your mom is giving you the look again. “Jin-Young said he wants to take you to his company. Maybe he can give you a summer internship, so you’ll still have something to put on your resume.” 
“Ah yes,” you sigh and roll your eyes. You know that JYPE is a huge company with great artists, but you also know from experience that idols aren’t your cup of tea. Working there doesn’t sound like a great time. “Nothing like some good ole nepotism to boost your resume. Plus, I’m not even majoring in anything related to the music business.”
“Well honey, if you’re determined to be upset about this, then it’s not going to be a good summer.” She pats you on the shoulder, signaling that the conversation is over. “I just hope you’ll try to keep an open mind.”
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
The next day, after breakfast with your parents and uncle, you all head to JYPE. JYP gives you all a small tour, introducing you to the different groups currently in the practice rooms. The last group you meet is Stray Kids. Like the others, they immediately stop what they’re doing to come greet your uncle. Standing in a line like that, glistening from the sweat of their hard work; you stare shamelessly. You’ve seen a few of their videos, so you already knew they looked good. They’re even hotter in person. Even more so, because they aren’t cookie cutter copies of each other; they each have unique features that catch your eye. Still, you know what tends to hide behind pretty faces and hot bodies, so you don’t plan on thinking about them much once you leave this room.
JYP introduces you, and you’re met with the same fake, polite greeting from each of them. Then he throws a curveball. “So my niece will be spending a lot of time with you in the next few weeks; take good care of her.”
You try not to look too shocked and shoot a glance at your mom. She gives you a smile and a shrug as if this isn’t totally her doing. As your uncle begins discussing something with a couple members and your dad, you take her to the side to talk privately. 
“Mom! I’m going to be ‘spending time’ with them? Doing what? I told you I didn’t need a pity internship!” You whisper-shout as soon as you’re sure no one will hear you.
“Oh, you’re being a bit dramatic.” She shakes her head at you. “This will be a good experience for you! It’ll even relate to your major; you’re going to be helping them with their English, kinda like a tutor. Your future students are going to think you’re so cool being related to JYP; you’ll be able to bond with them even better when you can tell them you’ve worked with their favorite idols.”
She’s not entirely wrong, but you still don’t love the idea. Idols are the worst.
Soon it’s time for the guys to get back to practice, and your family’s tour ends in JYP’s office. Along the way, your dad gushes over Stray Kids, and you try not to look annoyed. You learn that SKZ is getting ready for their next world tour and some of them are feeling like they need to get back into the habit of speaking English so they can feel more confident interacting with their fans. 
“I was happy when your mother asked if there was anything for you to do around here. I think it’ll be a good way for you to stay busy and make friends while you’re here in Korea. And of course, we’ll get to spend so much more time together if you’re here in the building every day.” Your uncle looks so pleased; you don’t want to bring him down.
“I look forward to it.” You hope your smile doesn’t look as fake as it feels. “I really appreciate you giving me this opportunity.”
In the car on your way home, your dad kind of shocks you. “Honey, I think you should go on a date with one of those boys. Jin-Young speaks so highly of them, and they’re very polite and intelligent. Just the kind of boy we’d be happy to see you with.”
Your mom agrees immediately. “And they’re so talented! After I talked to my brother about your internship, I watched a few of their music videos. Not to mention, they’re all quite easy on the eyes.” 
“I don’t care how cute they are, mom!” Though you certainly wouldn’t kick any of them out of bed. “I would never date any of them.”
“Just think about it, honey.” Your dad isn’t going to let this go. “See how you feel after spending a few days working with them.”
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
The next day, you show up to JYPE bright and early, wishing you were still in bed and dreading the day you’re about to spend with a bunch of hot assholes. When you arrive at the studio they’re starting out in, half the group is already there. Their leader, Bang Chan, greets you immediately and gestures for you to sit on the couch in the back of the room. The others are so engrossed in each other that they don’t even seem to notice you.
“So as you may know, Felix and I are also fluent in English since we’re both from Australia. The rest of the kids have various levels of fluency and confidence in their skills.” You have to actively remind yourself not to swoon over his accent. “It’ll be helpful to have another person to speak casually with and maybe correct pronunciation on some words. Sometimes they have questions about little grammar things, so they may ask you. I think that’s all? That sound okay to you?”
“Yeah, sounds fine.” Anything else you might say is lost when four rowdy guys walk in the studio. They’re laughing and a couple of them start yelling. This might be a long day. One of them - you probably should’ve made sure you knew who was who before coming today - starts handing out iced coffee to the ones who were here first. He surprises you by handing you one as well. “Oh, thank you! You didn’t have to get me anything.”
He gives you a big smile. Those dimples are dangerous. “You’re welcome! We didn’t want to leave you out.” 
His accent is cute, too. Which one is he? You’re about to try to run through their names in your head when Bang Chan claps his hands and yells, “Alright!”
The eight of them are suddenly lining up in front of you. After a ‘1, 2’ from Bang Chan, in unison, they say, “Step out. Hello, we are Stray Kids.” You weren’t expecting the full greeting like this again.  
“We know that this was kind of sprung on you, so we thought it would be a good idea to introduce ourselves again. So I am Bang Chan, though you can just call me Chan, or Chris, if you want.” Chan gestures to the guy next to him, and they sound off from there. You’ve got all their names down now. Though, of course it’s all stage names (for those who don't go by their first names), which feels a bit like keeping you at arm's length. Hopefully talking with them won’t be too annoying, but you’re worried about the idea of just hanging out with them all day; there’s only so much time you’re willing to spend with a bunch of douchebags.
Chan calls for Hyunjin to head into the recording booth, then sends Lee Know and I.N, the one with the coffee, over to talk with you. They somewhat awkwardly ask you to go over the pronunciation of the English lines they’ll be recording today; these two must be the ones least comfortable with English. Still, they do well. And as much as you hated that your mom landed you with this ‘job,’ you have to admit that this is actually a worthwhile way to spend your time. It is the kind of experience that would look good while applying for teaching jobs in the future. 
After a fair amount of practice, Lee Know heads to the recording booth, and I.N goes to join a couple of the other guys. You think Han is coming to talk to you, but he just flops over on the couch for a nap. So you’re back to just awkwardly sitting in a room full of dudes that are ignoring you. Great.
As the session goes on, you marvel at the way they work. They work so hard, recording and re-recording again and again until they’re satisfied. You do end up having conversations with most of them, mostly about their album and whichever of them was currently in the booth. Seeing their passion, you start to feel like they might not be as stuck up as you were thinking; they’re just focused and dedicated.
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
You dip out after recording; your uncle asked you to come have an early lunch with him. By the time you return to Stray Kids, they’re in a large practice room. Once again, you’re sitting on a couch in the back of the room, just watching them interact, feeling like a piece of the furniture. 
When the music starts, you look up from your phone and… damn. They all can dance really well. Like it’s hard for you to pick out the main dancers at first. 
They’re all lip syncing or singing along quietly as they move through the steps, then Han starts full out singing. You thought most idols struggled to sing when they dance like this; that’s why they play their tracks during their concerts. He sounds phenomenal, though, nearly as good as he did in the recording booth. And he sets off the others, every other line someone sings it out loud, and once again they all do it so well. Maybe you know less about idols than you thought. 
When they finish Chan comes over with a cocky grin on his face. “What did you think?”
With dimples like that and that accent, you know he must be insufferable. Still, he hasn’t given you a reason to be rude. “It was super cool. I didn’t expect to enjoy watching you practice so much. You’re all such great dancers.”
You were too complimentary; you can tell by the way he puffs up. You see the two behind him smile and fistbump, and decide you don’t need to stick around for the douchiness to come out. “Anyway, I’m gonna head out, unless you guys will need me again?”
Chan nods, and with that you’re out the door.
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
As the week goes on, you realize you shouldn’t have taken such a hard stance with your parents. They check in every evening, asking about how working with ‘those cute boys’ was and which one you think you might want to go out with so your mom can set it up with JYP. Every day you insist that you’re not at all interested in stuck up idols, and every day you feel like you’re lying more and more. 
You’ve had the opportunity to witness a lot while you’ve been with Stray Kids. They invite you to lunch and to watch practices in your off time, and you’re not going to pass up getting free meals and witnessing the beauty of their movement. With that, you’re around them when they’re not in work mode as well, seeing how kind and conscientious they are. They seem to truly care for the staff around them; they’re constantly doing things for each other and basically everyone else. They start opening up to you; you hear the way they talk about their fans, their families, their staff. And they’re very good to you, too - always treating you, making sure you’re comfortable and have anything you want/need. It turns out that they are truly the nicest guys; and if it’s not genuine, you don’t know what is. 
When you walk into the studio the next morning, you’re pulled into an unexpected hug. Felix gives you that big smile of his. “Good morning! I hope you don’t mind that we’re starting a little early today.” 
You return it readily. “Good morning! Honestly, it’s not too bad. I usually have early classes, so this feels normal.”
You go to sit on the couch and wait to find out exactly what you’ll need to do while you watch the present members. Felix is clearly the biggest morning person; he’s like a little flame, giving sparks to each member he speaks to, and you can see them brightening in his wake. After a few minutes, Chan comes in with Seungmin. He gives you a wave, but goes to sit by Changbin and immediately starts discussing their schedule for the session. Seungmin approaches you instead, handing you an iced latte - he got your order just right.
“Oh thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”
“Of course, we wanted to thank you for changing things up for us today.” His English accent is so cute, and he’s incredibly attentive. And you love talking with him most. “Channie Hyung asked me to give you the low-down.” 
Like the first day, Chan thought it would be nice to have you talk through pronunciations for Lee Know, I.N, Hyunjin, and Seungmin’s lines while the others are recording. You’re pretty sure that they could get this done without you easily, but you like having this time with them now. They’ve started relaxing a bit, working casual conversation into their time with you.
Even when you’re working with one of the other guys, Seungmin tends to sit with you, both double checking little things and helping you to direct them. His presence is comforting and welcome, often with his arm draped behind you over the back of the couch, occasionally brushing his hand against your shoulder or back.
By Friday, you feel like you have a much better understanding of the guys. You’ve seen their more serious sides and their sillier sides. And their flirty, kinda dirty sides. You’ve gotten glimpses of this over the course of last week, but it’s like the gloves came off today. It’s not even just flirting with each other. All day they all make sure to send quippy innuendos your way and make some kind of unnecessary physical contact with you, and you don’t hate it. You actually kind of love it. 
3Racha go to work in their smaller studio, while you head to a practice room with the rest, and things take a slightly spicier turn. After a few run-throughs of different aspects of the choreography, Lee Know turns to you. “Wanna try it out?”
You’re not much of a dancer, but you figure what the hell, no harm in trying. You try to follow his steps as he counts them out, and even though you’re doing pretty well, Lee Know directs Hyunjin to give you a little extra support. With Hyunjin close behind you, placing light touches on your hips, your arms, your shoulders, it gets harder to focus on what you’re doing. When you’ve gone through the steps, they compliment you on the way you move.
“You could be a little looser in the hips, though. It’ll help all the moves flow more smoothly.” Hyunjin gets behind you again, this time with his front pressed to your back, his hands landing firmly on your hips. He applies slight pressure to encourage you to follow along with the sway of his hips. You nearly shiver when he whispers into your ear, “I like the way your hips move with mine.”
You have a moment like that with each of them. You try not to let it get to your head, but with each touch and insinuation, you’re falling into fantasies with each of them. When they break the group up further for more individual practice, Lee Know takes your hand.
“Come to my practice room for a bit?” He lets go when you take a step after him, giving you a coy smile. When you get into the small room, he indicates that you should take a seat facing him. Then he’s kneeling in front of you so that you’re looking down into his beautiful, brown eyes for once. His hand rests on your knee for balance, rubbing his thumbs back and forth absently. You start to think about what it would be like if he leaned in and his hands moved up your legs… The thought cuts off when he speaks again, an interesting gleam in his eyes. “So I’ll sing once through, if you notice anything you can make a note. Then I’ll sing again and you can stop me when I make a mistake.”
You want nothing more than to sit and listen to him sing for hours on end. His voice is amazing. You grab the pad and pen from the table next to you. “Of course!”
For the next hour or so, Lee Know - Minho, he told you you could call him that - sings for you, and you sing his praises. It is incredible. His voice – he himself – is so beautiful. He very gracefully takes your critiques and works hard to get things perfect. 
The rest of the day is much the same, really just hanging out with the guys and watching them work, sometimes with all eight of them, other times in smaller groups. All of them continue to flirt, making you more and more interested in spending time with them outside of work hours. As you’re heading out for the day, Seungmin catches up with you.
“Would you wanna grab a coffee with me later?”
You try not to smile too big. “That’d be great. Just tell me when and where.”
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
When you get home, you’re already going over your plan to meet Seungmin at the cafe near his dorm. You’re so immersed in thoughts of him, you nearly run into your mom.
She asks the usual questions and you give the usual answers. 
“Honey, I really do think you should consider letting your uncle set you up with one of those boys. You say you’re not having fun at this internship, but your mood seems up. It might be good for you.”
You can’t believe she was right, but you’re not gonna let her know that. So you lie. “That doesn’t have anything to do with a bunch of idols. I met a girl who works in the cafeteria who’s cool, though. I’m actually meeting her at a cafe in a little bit.”
She’s happy that you’re making friends and leaves you to get ready. You throw on a top that tastefully shows off your cleavage paired with cute, comfy flowy shorts that could probably cover your ass a little better. You feel a little bad going behind her back, but your parents would be insufferable if they learned that you were interested in them. 
When you get to the cafe, Seungmin is waiting outside, two coffees in hand. Unfortunately, you can’t see his smile behind the mask, but he does look good despite it. 
“Hi, thanks! Were you wanting to sit outside?”
His ears look a little pink; you worry that he’s got bad news. “I actually was hoping you’d want to take a walk. Maybe to the dorm to hang out with the guys? It’s completely fine if you don’t.”
You think about it less than you should before agreeing. If you took a moment, you’d think it sounds like a set up for something more. Actually, you might still have agreed. 
He takes your hand and after a short walk you reach the Cuties Dorm, as they call it, but all of the other members are there. When you walk into the living room, you’re greeted by shouts from each of them and what’s become the usual hug from Felix, that literal ball of sunshine. This time his arms linger around you a bit longer as he tells you he’s happy you decided to come.
As you settle on the couch between Seungmin and Hyunjin; the former sits a little closer than necessary, leaning into you, while the latter throws his arm around your shoulders with his hand gently kneading into the nape of Seungmin’s neck. You revel in their closeness. You all hang out for a while together; they tell stories and ask you more about your life back in the states. Like earlier in the day, there’s more flirting and touching than usual, and they’re even less subtle about it. Also like before, you give as good as you get. 
At one point, Hyunjin makes what you think is a joke about how nice it is that you signed a broad NDA when you started at JYPE in case you decide to have “even more fun” with them. You laugh and agree, leaning into him a bit more. Seungmin’s hand lands on your thigh then, fingers lightly caressing your bare skin. You’re not entirely sure if this is going where you think it is, but between their hands and arms on your body and the looks the members shared at your agreement, you’re starting to wonder if it really was a joke. 
“I’m really glad we’re getting to know you more tonight.” Chan watches you, head tilted, contemplative, as he says it. “We’ve all been hoping to get closer to you. We just weren’t sure how open to it you would be.”
Seungmin slides his hand a tiny bit more toward the inside of your thigh and gives you a quick squeeze. You stare at Chan for a moment. He licks his lips, holding your eye contact. Well, fuck it; if I’m wrong, I’ll just refuse to go back to work, you think. “So to be clear… You all are hoping that I’m interested in hooking up?”
 Despite his boldness from just moments before, Chan starts turning into a tomato and looking down at his hands. Not one to mince words, Lee Know takes control of the situation. “Yes. Are you?”
“I mean…” You glance around the room, taking in the varying levels of hope, embarrassment, and desire on their faces. You rest one hand on Seungmin’s and the other on Hyunjin’s leg. “You don’t mean all at once, right? I think I’d need to work up to that.”
The room erupts in laughter and the tension dissipates. You all agree to just let things progress naturally, with the stipulations that they’re all going to actively pursue you now and that relationships won’t go beyond a friends with benefits situation. You assure them that you’re attracted to all of them, not that you felt pressured when Chan said ‘all.’ 
Luckily, once you’ve talked things out, things are as relaxed as before the conversation started. Soon, though, most of the guys announce that they’re leaving. 3Racha need to head back to the studio to work on a track they’d been talking about for the last half hour. Minho and I.N had plans to see a movie tonight, and Felix decides to tag along. On their way out, each of them gives you a hug. Chan’s is only a half hug, but his hand is definitely on your ass. You raise your eyebrows at him, and he just gives you a little squeeze and a pat before heading for the door. Changbin’s hug is so comforting that you wish you could just melt into him. Han is bold enough to kiss your cheek before saying goodbye with a wink. Seeing this, Felix immediately says that he wants a kiss, too. Rather than kissing your cheek like Han, however, his soft lips make contact with yours for just a second. You’re pretty sure your cheeks are on fire as I.N slips in right as Felix releases you. 
“Better make it a full set,” he says as he brushes a quick kiss on the side opposite of Han’s. Minho is last and to your surprise, he keeps his hands off your ass - you would’ve thought if anyone was going to grab it, it would’ve been the resident butt hunter. He does, however, whisper suggestively in your ear before he releases you. “I hope you have a good rest of your night.”
You turn to face the remaining two, the implication in Minho’s words making your head spin. You meet Hyunjin and Seungmin’s eyes in succession, unsure of what your next move should be.
“We’re going to watch a movie, if you wanna stay here with us for a while longer.” Seungmin’s voice is neutral, but you think you can see a touch of hunger in his eyes. “Otherwise, I’m happy to walk you home.”
Hyunjin bites his lip while he waits for your answer. It makes you wish you were the one biting it. “Yeah, a movie sounds nice.”
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
You make your way to the couch again with Hyunjin, and Seungmin heads to the kitchen to make popcorn and grab other snacks. The two of you sit facing each other, discussing preferred genres and favorite movies. You land on The Greatest Showman for tonight, and Hyunjin’s face lights up with passion as he talks about his favorite dance numbers in film. When Seungmin arrives with the snacks, Hyunjin surprises you by reaching over and pulling you halfway into his lap.
“Sorry,” he giggles, not looking even a little sorry. His hands are lingering on your hips, and you catch yourself looking at his lips again. “Just wanted to make sure Minnie had room to sit.”
“So considerate of you, Jinnie.” Seungmin deadpans as he sets the snacks and drinks on the coffee table. He sits beside you, partially on your cushion, and his hand lands on Hyunjin’s, still on your hip. Your breath hitches when you feel a slight squeeze. Hyunjin releases you then, and you turn to face the tv; they’re both so close to you, you feel your cheeks heating up. But then they’re acting normal again, like they have no clue that now all you can think about is being pressed between them with their hands and mouths exploring your body. You know you just confidently talked about hooking up with them, but you’re a little nervous now.
“I am considerate.” Hyunjin laughs and gestures at the screen. “You love this movie, right? We picked it just for you.”
For the next 20 minutes, it’s just like it was before ‘the talk.’ You're talking a little as you watch the movie. Seungmin has his arm around you this time, and after a few minutes Hyunjin rests his head on your shoulder and takes your hand; his thumb traces small circles on your skin. Seungmin moves so that his hand is on the nape of your neck now; when he presses in a bit with his fingers, you look over at him, and Hyunjin takes the opportunity to make a move. 
Seungmin is smiling as Hyunjin places a kiss just under your jaw and your mouth drops open with a sharp inhale. Hyunjin’s hand drops yours and moves to softly squeeze your thigh as he kisses you again. Seungmin tips your chin up so you look directly into his eyes. “Is everything okay?”
You don’t trust yourself to speak, so instead you nod and rest your hand on his thigh. He smiles widely and leans in to press his lips to yours. He tries to pull back, but you immediately pull him back, tilting your head for a deeper kiss. Hyunjin continues to leave a trail of kisses on your neck and his hand shifts up to your waist, creeping up slowly. At once, he gives you a gentle bite and his hand cups your breast. You break your kiss with Seungmin with a small gasp. As soon as you turn to face him, Hyunjin captures your lips, his tongue tangling with yours. Seungmin takes over for him on the other side of your neck, nipping and sucking at your sensitive skin. Both their hands roam across your body. They’ve barely begun - you hope - but you’re already feeling a little overwhelmed and unsure what to do with your hands.
It’s like Hyunjin reads your mind. He sits back grinning at you with pink, pouty lips shining. Seungmin turns toward you, and throws his arms around your waist to pull you into his lap, turning you to face away from him and keeping his arms wrapped around your middle and resting his chin on your shoulder. Hyunjin finds your hands and asks, “This isn’t too much, is it?”
You bite your lip as you consider how to answer. He’s so beautiful; it’s hard to think of anything besides kissing him again. “It’s kind of a lot… But I don’t want to stop.”
Seungmin begins kissing your neck again, both hands cupping and caressing your breasts.  Hyunjin’s smile widens as he scoots as close to Seungmin as possible, gently moving your legs so they drape over his lap. One hand starts kneading the inside of one of your thighs. He leans in, his other hand comes up - you thought it was going to your face, but he reaches past you to stop Seungmin’s progress on your neck. You feel yourself being pushed forward slightly, feel his obviously hardening cock on your back, as you watch Seungmin bring his face up to meet Hyunjin’s. The second their lips touch, your jaw drops a bit.
When this began, you somehow never even thought about this being a possibility. With how comfortable they are flirting with and touching each other, you feel a little silly for not considering it already. It’s quite possibly the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. They’re so beautiful together. You catch a glimpse of Hyunjin’s tongue slipping into Seungmin’s mouth at the same time that his hand makes contact with your center, fingers moving in slow, deliberate circles. You spread your legs a bit to give him easier access, wishing there weren’t two layers of fabric blocking his path. As you move, Seungmin’s hand comes down to hook your outside leg over his, spreading you further. Lips still locked on Hyunjin’s, his hands slide inside your shirt and around to your back; once your bra is unclasped, his hands come back around and under it, pinching and twisting your nipples. 
A small moan escapes your lips and brings Hyunjins attention back to you. Both of their mouths are on you again, and Hyunjin slips his fingers into your panties. You feel like you’re on fire. You simultaneously reach in front of and behind you, wrapping each hand around equally impressive lengths. As you stroke them through their shorts, you elicit two moans in harmony. 
Hyunjin pulls back. “As much as I like this couch, I wonder if we should move somewhere a bit more comfortable, Minnie?”
One of Seungmin’s hands drops down to your waist, the other continues to tease you. “That is an excellent idea, Jinnie. Are you alright with that?”
It takes you a moment to realize he’s talking to you now. They move in unison. When one speaks, the other kisses, their hands never stop touching, caressing, taking you closer to what is sure to just be your first climax of many tonight. You nod and capture Seungmin’s lips.
Hyunjin giggles and presses a kiss to your cheek. “I know you said this was a lot, so I think we’d prefer a verbal answer.” He pulls at your shirt. “Cause if we move locations, things are definitely going to heat up.”
“I want that.” You nearly gasp. “Please, let’s go. Wherever.”
Hyunjin stands, pulling you up with him. “Seungmin-ah, why don’t you take our gorgeous friend here to your room while I go get a few things.”
“Yes, sir.” Seungmin smiles and salutes before throwing you over his shoulder with a quick slap on your ass. “I’ll hold down the fort.”
Seungmin proceeds to his room, not flinching at the slaps you’ve landed on his cute, little ass in complaint. In no time at all, he’s dropping you onto your back, and before you can even catch your breath, he’s on you. His tongue clashes with yours, one hand grips your hip tightly while the other grips your face and neck with his thumb pressed under your chin. He’s a bit more… forceful than you expected. It’s exciting. You bite his lower lip. 
He smiles against your lips. He brings his hand to the hem of your shirt and starts pulling it up. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes.”
You let him pull your top off and discard your bra. You pull his shirt up as well, ready to see more of him. For a brief moment, you wonder if you should be waiting for Hyunjin, but as soon as his shirt clears his head, he’s on you again - this time bringing his mouth to one nipple to suck, lick, and bite gently. One of his hands slides down into your panties; his fingers thrust into you a few times before spreading your wetness up to your clit. You arch into him with a moan. 
Seungmin starts kissing his way down your body. You whimper when he retracts his hand to pull your shorts and underwear off in one smooth motion. He pauses then to look down at you with a hungry look in his eyes. You’re suddenly very aware that you’re naked in the bed of a man you met less than a week ago. With another on his way to join you. You wonder if you think you make terrible or excellent decisions. You sit up and tug on the waistband of his shorts, and when he slides them off, you lean more toward excellent. He doesn’t give you the chance to touch his nice, thick cock; when you reach for it, he puts a hand on your chest, pushing you onto your back. He settles down between your legs. He kisses a trail from your right knee down your thigh, nipping at you in a few places. When he starts back at the top of your other knee, you let out a whiny “Minnie…”
“So impatient.” He smiles up at you. He doesn’t stop his teasing, but at your small groan, he splays his hand over your stomach, thumb landing on your clit. His lazy circles barely take the edge off. 
“Seungmin, please.” 
He chuckles, but takes pity on you. He gives you a long lick, sucking when he reaches your clit. Your back arches off the bed, and you squeeze your eyes closed with a moan. You’re so preoccupied that you miss the door opening and shutting, only realizing Hyunjin’s in the room when he kisses your forehead. 
“Is my puppy making you feel good? He’s great with his tongue.” Hyunjin giggles when Seungmin sits back, mouth and chin glistening, to ‘mong mong’ at him. 
You reach up for Hyunjin, but he’s already moving closer to Seungmin. He runs his hand down your body, easily sliding three fingers into you while simultaneously leaning over to lick the Seungmin’s lips clean. It is… beyond hot. 
“You taste good,” Hyunjin turns back to you, his fingers pumping in and out, keeping you panting and needy. “And you’re so wet for us, baby. Minnie, I think you should finish what you started so I can have a turn.”
You almost tell him that he can just take his turn now, but Seungmin dives in immediately with renewed vigor. Every swipe of his tongue brings you closer and closer to the edge. You expect Hyunjin to kiss or touch you in some way, but when you can control your trembling body enough to look down at Seungmin, you see that Hyunjin is just behind him. You watch both of Seungmin’s hands reach up to tweak your nipples and realize that Hyunjin has reached under his arm, and his fingers are the ones expertly curling against your g-spot. They’re so in sync. You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch as Hyunjin switches hands, so he can stroke Seungmin’s cock using your wetness to smooth his glide. The sight tips you over the edge. Your eyes roll back in your head as you curl in on yourself with a moan. Seungmin keeps up a steady pace allowing you to ride out your orgasm. He disengages with a moan of his own as you come down. 
“That’s a good girl,” Hyunjin purrs. He grips Seungmin by the hair to tip his head back and kiss him passionately before turning back to you to say, “and a good boy. Don’t you think so?”
You let out a sigh and sit up. Your gaze immediately begins tracking the movement of Hyunjin’s hand again. You suck your lower lip between your teeth with a soft groan. At Seungmin’s soft “fuck,” you bring your hand over to rub lazy circles over your clit. Suddenly, Hyunjin draws his hand back. Seungmin whines and your eyes snap up to Hyunjin’s.
“Well, Minnie, if she doesn’t think you did a good job, I’m not sure you should get a reward.” He says it with a devious smile on his face. When Seungmin huffs and turns to try to bite his neck, Hyunjin catches his chin and crashes his lips back to Seungmin’s.
“No, no!” You say a little too loudly, scrambling toward them. “He did such a good job! He was amazing. You were amazing, Minnie.”
Hyunjin giggles and drags Seungmin’s face toward yours. His tongue slides against yours, and your hand picks up where Hyunjin’s left off. One of his hands is back on your chest, the other sliding through your folds again. Hyunjin laughs again, gently pushing both your shoulders to separate you. “Oh well if he was that good, he deserves more than this. Lay on the bed, pup.”
Seungmin pouts a little, squinting his eyes at him as he stands. “Hyunie, I know you like taking charge, but it feels like there’s a little too big of a power imbalance here.”
Hyunjin laughs, pulling his shirt over his head and pushing his shorts to the ground. Like Seungmin, his body is nicely toned, not overly muscular. Beautiful. “Better?”
“Almost.” Seungmin tucks a finger into the waistband of briefs, pulling Hyunjin closer to him. The smile on his face is devastating. “And I think I’ll choose my own reward. Lose these and you sit on the bed.”
Hyunjin presses a quick kiss to Seungmin’s jaw. Then he licks his lips and turns to you. “Help me out?”
You’re enjoying watching them so much, you nearly forgot you’re part of this as well. You free him of his briefs and watch his half-hard cock bounce as he moves to sit with his back against the headboard. Seungmin’s watching as well, his head cocked to the side. He moves behind you, hands resting on your waist. You get a chill when you feel his breath on your neck. He whispers, “I’m going to put on a condom now. While I do, you should get on your knees between Jinnie’s pretty dancer’s legs, ass up and ready for me.”
The second his hands leave you, you’re crawling up to take Hyunjin’s pretty cock into your mouth. Another time you might have teased him, but you’re so hot for him, for them, that you want to get him on your level as soon as possible. You bob your head, tongue swirling around his tip when you come up. With each pass, he stiffens and grows - you soon have to work to fit him in your mouth. You relax your throat and take him further, wrapping a hand around his base, the other resting on his hip. 
“Mmmm,” Hyunjin rumbles, tangling his fingers into your hair with a smile. “Minnie, is this a reward for me or for you?”
You feel Seungmin bring himself into position behind you. He grabs your hips, adjusting them so that you’re just where he wants you. You can hear the smile in his voice as he plunges a couple fingers into you. “I always want to reward you, baby, but I feel like the real winner is between us.”
He lands a playful slap on your ass and you hum in agreement, causing Hyunjin’s grip in your hair to tighten as he lets loose a low groan. You hum again, then pull off with a pop. You grin up at him as you feel Seungmin tap the fat head of his cock against your ass. You tape Hyunjin’s tip into your mouth and suck hard as you continue to pump your fist around his shaft. You feel the pressure of Seungmin pushing into you, his hands grip your hips tightly. He goes slowly, sinking inch by inch filling you up. The pressure feels fantastic. You moan, giving Hyunjin a slight squeeze. Both men jerk their hips in tandem. You pull off Hyunjin with a gag, panting, pushing back against Seungmin as he keeps up steady thrusts.
Hyunjin takes your face in his hands, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, baby. It felt so good; I couldn’t keep still. If you can’t keep going, I can wait my turn.”
You shake your head. “No, I’m - ahh - I’m okay. Just wasn’t ready.” You press your face into his thigh with another shaky moan. 
Hyunjin laughs. “Seungminnie, are you happy where you are or should we flip her?”
“No,” you pant. “I wanna… I wanna finish.”
Seungmin is hitting you in just the right spot. Each rock of his hips sends you closer to your peak. Hyunjin laughs again. It turns into another groan as you wrap your lips back around his head and suck hard. “Fuck me.”
“I can do that next, if you want, but I might need a breather.” Seungmin grunts out as he increases his pace. His grip on your hips tightens, you’re likely going to end up with bruises. You increase your pace in turn, and Hyunjin’s moans become more frequent. It’s hard to maintain, though. You pull off of Hyunjin with a gasping moan, burying your face in his thigh again. 
“I’ve got this, baby.” Hyunjin takes over for you, jerking himself in tempo with Seungmin’s thrusts, his gaze locked on the snap of Seungmin’s hips. He lets out a drawn out groan. “You’re taking Minnie so well. You have no idea how fucking hot you look right now. Fuck, Min, I think I could come just by watching you; I’m already so close.”
Hyunjin’s other hand is stroking your hair and you look up at him, mouth hanging open barely able to do much more than pant and moan. The tide is rising in you, threatening to wipe you out. 
As he lets go of one of your hips, you feel Seungmin lean against your back. and Hyunjin is leaning forward to meet him. You can barely see their kiss, but you feel how it’s interrupted Seungmin’s rhythm and let out a whimper. His hand drops from Hyunjin’s face into your hair. He pulls it a little less than gently. The new angle allows you a better view of Hyunjin working himself and biting his lip. The space created gives Hyunjin room to take hold of one of your breasts, pinching and pulling, bringing you right back to the edge.  
Seungmin slides his other hand between your legs, and your body starts to convulse. You can’t control any of the sounds coming out of your mouth - a mix of their names, moans, curses. Your climax overwhelms you. As you shake and move with each slam of Seungmin’s hips, but barely hear Hyunjin’s “fuck” as thick spirts of cum land on your chest and face. It spurs you on; you do your best to stick out your tongue, to catch as much as you can. 
Another “fuck” sounds as you feel Seungmin’s hips stutter to a stop. His grip on your hair loosens, and you barely manage to keep yourself from face planting into Hyunjin’s lap. Your body is nearly spent, finally coming down from what may have been the best orgasm you’ve ever had.
Seungmin pulls out and flops down on his side next to you, breathing heavily with a relaxed smile on his face. “You look so pretty with Jinnie all over you.”
He rolls over to grab wet wipes while Hyunjin encourages you to flip over and sit up. After Seungmin cleans you both up, Hyunjin pulls you back to lean against him. You stay like that for a few moments, before dressing and snuggling back up on the couch to watch the rest of the movie. When it’s over, you and Seungmin walk hand in hand out of the dorm, passing Minho and Jeongin on their way in. Minho shoots you a wink and a look that makes you feel like he’s telling you that he’s next… and you can’t wait.
⋆⭒˚。⋆。✧・゚
Part II Here
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megistusdiary · 9 months ago
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omg i just read and reblogged so many of your posts and read through so much… thank you for the amazing writing 😊
with that being said, i have a request 🫣
how do you think arlecchino (or anyone else you want to write for) would react to a reader that isn’t very vocal in bed? well ofc unless they can coax sound out of her…
also are you accepting anons and if so can i be 🐙?
again tysm for the amazing pieces!!
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hi omg that's such a good idea!! personally, i am very quiet, so this is something i can relate to 😁
also, of course!! always accepting new emoji anons ♡♡♡ happy to have you here. i am really happy you've been enjoying my content!
(nsfw utc)
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arlecchino always treats you so well. her touches are so sweet despite her more volatile nature. you are her lover, after all. she wants to make you feel good.
which is why you have to warn her.
"i am not exactly... vocal in bed." you tell her one night, laying beneath her in only your silky nightgown. "i do not want to disappoint you-"
she hushes you with a finger to your lips, pulling you up to sit on her lap. she leans in, breath brushing over the shell of your ear. "do you not think me capable of pulling out pretty noises from you?"
your brain short circuits for a moment, lips opening, yet no sound leaves them. "i... do not mean to offend you. i just want to warn you."
she scoffs. "we will see if your 'warning' holds true, won't we?" her hand slips down to your chin, tugging you into a more heated kiss. her tongue slides right over yours, enjoying how eager you are for her touch.
true to your word, you are quiet. even when her hands wander. yet it doesn't seem to deter her, much to your relief, as she lays you down, stripping you bare for her.
her hands slide up your sides, cupping your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples. you squirm a little beneath her, only softly gasping when her lips wrap around the right bud, fingers pinching the left. her eyes flit up to yours, watching closely as you bite at your inner cheek.
she treats you tenderly, moving on to eat you out, but never does her tongue slide into you, merely staying on your clit, teasing you with precise movements until you cum for her.
yet she keeps going, pushing you into overstimulation as her fingers slide into you, rubbing your g-spot.
"arlecchino-" your voice is quiet, breathy, legs shaking on her shoulders as she crooks her fingers. your breathing picks up, softly panting as she drags you over the edge once again.
and she doesn't stop there. she continues to lap at your clit, watching your eyes tear up, hearing you suddenly begin to moan softly, fingers twitching against her head while you grip her hair tightly.
you start to whimper and whine so cutely soon enough, feeling her hum, clearly satisfied into your pussy while she wraps her lips around your poor, abused clit.
when she finally pulls away, you sigh, relaxing into the bed only for her to scoff. "you didn't honestly believe we're done, did you?" she questions, yanking you towards her, enjoying your soft squeak of surprise before sliding her cunt over yours.
and, finally, you loudly cry out her name. her head falls back, sliding her clit over yours as your hands feebly grasp onto anything they can, tears threatening to fall while you let out constant whines.
"good. very good." her lips quirk up, eyes narrowing as she continues her movements, quite eager to draw more pretty sounds out of you just to prove you wrong ♡
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bambi-kinos · 3 months ago
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Thank you so much for replying to my ask! Sorry for the long reply back but I just love discussing these two.
Yes the rock and roll lifestyle and Paul’s infamous cheating before Linda has me very sceptical about him being 100% faithful to Linda too. That Jane Asher story is insane! The idea of Wings being a way to keep an eye on it is very interesting and not implausible at all. However in my opinion, Linda gives me the impression of someone with a strong sense of self, who would decide to walk instead of being disrespected in that way.
I also find it strange that decades and decades on, no one has said anything other than Paul being absolutely devoted to Linda. Not even anonymously, someone who doesn’t like Paul could seriously hurt his reputation spilling that information, not to mention the potential money, fame from it ect. This goes hand in hand with having a sexual relationship with John. I mean, surely they couldn’t have hidden it from everyone. Some people must of known, and not just an inner circle of loyal friends. Take tour managers or hotel staff for example.
So why do you think nothing has come out all these years later?
What comes to mind is the phone call Paul had with a biographer very soon after John’s death (I’m sorry I’ve forgotten his exact name) where he secretly recorded all he said and later published it. (Ouch!) Paul’s completely baffled at Yoko’s statement that no one had hurt John more than Paul had. (Said by John himself)
If they had a sexual, emotionally intense relationship, wouldn’t Paul have known that it was this John was referring too? He comes across as very smart, surely he could have put the dots together? His bewilderment seems completely sincere, not a pr trick. What’s your opinion?
I honestly go back and forth on this because I can see a relationship between those two being way more than just platonic. On and off hook ups in the 70s amongst the angst could also explain John’s sporadic comments about Paul throughout this decade. One day praising him, the other cursing him. Both parties not being brave enough (and a whole host of other factors) to not commit or acknowledge what was going on fully would have been very confusing to say the least.
But I still can’t get my head around the points I made earlier that counter this argument. Would love to hear your take on things!
EXTREMELY based ask anon, your mind is very sharp and I love it!
okayyyy there's a lot here so let's take it bit by bit
However in my opinion, Linda gives me the impression of someone with a strong sense of self, who would decide to walk instead of being disrespected in that way.
If we're anywhere close to the ballpark then Linda nearly called off the wedding when Paul told her about him and John. But then after that, she would chaperone Paul when he went to see John and hang out with him like when they went to LA. It's hard to say what Linda would or wouldn't stand for IMO because she saw the real Paul, all of him, and stuck that out for over twenty years.
I don't think that Linda would be okay with Paul cheating on her necessarily but I wouldn't write off her pretending not to see when he was sneaking out under her nose. It's not the same thing as having an open relationship but she and Paul had agreed to try for Mary sometime in 1968 before she knew about him and John and witnessed the messy break up. She doesn't strike me as the vindictive type so I wonder if knowing she was pregnant and wanting her kid to know who her father was played any role in her decision. And Linda purportedly didn't like the idea of getting married again according to a quote floating around here -- Paul had to convince her it was a good idea, not the other way around. There's reason to believe that Linda may have been happy just being a common law couple or whatever the UK's equivalent is and that Paul insisted on getting married.
I'm not saying definitively one way or another, Linda is much more opaque than Paul. But I'm hesitant to say that she wouldn't tolerate cheating or she wouldn't look the other way on it, because why else did she let Paul visit John so much otherwise? She knew what was going on.
Just something to think about I guess.
I also find it strange that decades and decades on, no one has said anything other than Paul being absolutely devoted to Linda. Not even anonymously, someone who doesn’t like Paul could seriously hurt his reputation spilling that information, not to mention the potential money, fame from it ect. This goes hand in hand with having a sexual relationship with John. I mean, surely they couldn’t have hidden it from everyone. Some people must of known, and not just an inner circle of loyal friends. Take tour managers or hotel staff for example.
So why do you think nothing has come out all these years later?
The biggest reason is that The Beatles worked very hard as a unit to cover up their infidelities. Paul was two paternity accusations lodged against him, one was the German girl and the other was Liverpool girl. Blood tests proved that both of these paternity claims were false (and Anita later admitted that she had a second boyfriend concurrent to Paul at the time, she just didn't think he was actually the dad until her son spilled the beans that Paul's paternity test proved false.) Despite these two paternity suits being lodged against Paul, he still paid the girls hush money through Brian. There's another story of a paternity claim being lodged against John that Brian paid to go away. The hookers they engaged with in the hotels were also paid for their time and to not launch any paternity suits against The Beatles. And so on.
The most encompassing answer is simply that Paul and the other Beatles paid off their babymamas AND that they have lots of legal representation on their side to make offers that can't be refused. I have long thought that the sudden muzzling of Heather Mills was the result of a super injunction, a feature of British law where a person with enough money and influence can forcibly shut someone up. A super injunction is, to put it mildly, a massive pain in the ass to obtain yet Paul is well positioned to have used one to make her shut her mouth and stop libeling him in the press. If Paul is ruthless enough to use something like that against his ex wife and mother to his child then he is absolutely willing to turn it on lays from the 1960s and 1970s. Most of the time I would bet he does not have to; we all have a price and for a sufficient amount of money, I wouldn't bother Paul with a paternity suit either.
Then there's just love and personal loyalty. The Beatles inspire incredible loyalty in their fans and their hook ups. Peggy Lipton went completely insane for Paul after meeting him only a handful of times including showing up at his hotel in a swimsuit hoping to be taken on Paul's Dirty Weekend with Linda. Now imagine that loyalty in a 19 year old girl who hooked up with Paul during 1966. Why would she say shit to anyone about having sex with Paul or getting pregnant by him? She would absolutely feel inspired to protect him. I think this would be just as true in 1976, the loyalty that the boys inspired in their fans is remarkable.
And think about it: if you had slept with one of the Beatles, would you out him to anyone? Or would you keep it a secret? Think carefully about it. By outing him, you are also outing yourself. Especially if Paul was married at the time. Do you want to admit you're complicit in Paul McCartney's adultery? That sounds like a very unpleasant prospect to me and besides, you want to keep a little piece of him to yourself.
Tour managers and hotel staff likely suspected something but it was truly a whirlwind for them too and I think a lot of them just second guess what they know. Homosexual activity was completely unthinkable and virtually unknown in the 60s and 70s. The only people who would truly know is the housekeeping staff. They would see the telltale signs of who slept where and what they were doing; those room manifests don't tell us shit because we can be sure that the boys swapped beds and rooms all the time depending on what they wanted. For John and Paul especially, I imagine there was a lot of wandering in the night and seeking each other out.
Take that story of Ringo disappearing during the 1964 tour to go on a joyride with a police man with Paul waking up and alerting Mal and Neil that he was gone. Why was Paul awake in the night? Why didn't he just go ask John and George where Ringo was first thing? Surely if your third band member goes missing your first instinct would be to ask the other two if they've seen him but instead Paul, for some reason, seems to have known immediately that Ringo was not with John and George in their hotel room and promptly tattled to the roadies. This is despite the room set up which was supposed to be Paul/Ringo and George/John. Hm!
Only housekeeping would know the truth of the situation and those men and women are dead or lost in the crowd. However even then we don't have reason to think they had proof: John and Paul being intimate would only leave behind the remains of...sex. And the truth is that The Beatles liked having sex with girls while they were in the same room together, including switching. What reason was there to think that it was just two guys boning instead of two guys and two girls?
What I'm driving at is that tour managers and hotel staff and housekeeping servicewomen had a lot of circumstantial evidence but unless they caught John and Paul in the act, then they had no reason to understand what they were seeing. Anyone who did catch them would have been paid off with the brown paper bag money Brian picked up from the bootleg merch vendors that sold fanmerch outside their concerts. And if that failed then yes legal action would have been launched through Capitol's legal arm because Capitol had plenty of superstars before The Beatles that had to be managed. They knew the drill, they weren't angels. Managing sex addicts and homosexual activity was business as usual for a suit even in 1964. They wouldn't want to scuttle that secret either because if Paul throws a fit and buys out his song catalogue then it's good night Felicia.
So in between those three things -- personal loyalty, bribes, and the threat of legal action especially since Paul has rich boy privileges -- no one is saying shit. Not any of the groupies, none of the women Paul was probably hanging out with while married, no one who ever caught him with John. It's just not worth it.
What comes to mind is the phone call Paul had with a biographer very soon after John’s death (I’m sorry I’ve forgotten his exact name) where he secretly recorded all he said and later published it. (Ouch!) Paul’s completely baffled at Yoko’s statement that no one had hurt John more than Paul had. (Said by John himself)
If they had a sexual, emotionally intense relationship, wouldn’t Paul have known that it was this John was referring too? He comes across as very smart, surely he could have put the dots together? His bewilderment seems completely sincere, not a pr trick. What’s your opinion?
Hunter Davies. The phone call with Hunter Davies is very interesting because he was someone Paul knew...but otoh he's still a reporter. Paul knows that. Hearing more about the Lennon McCartney feud soon after John's death was a hot story so could Paul reasonably assume that Hunter would write up the story.
I posit that Paul, in an act of true cynicism and spite towards Yoko, deliberately leaked some of his issues with John in order to spit in Yoko's eye. Especially with that pointed line about how he knows things about John that Yoko never knew...and that he won't publish them until after she is dead. You want to talk about ouch?!
I think that Paul is being genuine when he's confused about how he could have hurt John which makes me think @menlove is right and that India may have been a nothingburger or didn't feature Paul getting cold feet about John.
There are a couple of candidates for "John said no one hurt him like Paul did." We'll probably never know what they are but these are my personal options:
John asked for a relationship with Paul in India; Paul did something John interpreted as a rejection especially in light of Paul self destructing and John going on a multi-day bender when he got home.
Paul suddenly bringing Linda into the limo during the New York City trip to promote Apple. John seems genuinely baffled and confused about this with the "and next thing I know she's married to him" line. It was completely out of left field and John was caught by surprise.
Paul getting the drop on John with regards to announcing the Beatles break up. John expressed bitterness about this (because it was a ploy to force Paul to stay with him, Paul wasn't actually supposed to follow through with it) because it humiliated him publicly.
John was still hung up on the Family Way score and was destroyed by that and by Paul going "fuck it we'll do it live" and recording so much stuff solo for the White Album.
You may have spotted a problem with this already: there are multiple instances where Paul could have profoundly hurt John that would linger in John's memory. How can you possibly choose just one?
What if it was all of these and that eventually the hurt and abandonment mounted and John couldn't take it anymore?
Ultimately though I think Paul is/was confused and angry because the narrative was all about how Paul hurt John, and nothing about how John hurt Paul, another thing Paul brought up with Hunter during the interview. If John was pissy about Paul announcing the break up first, then why was no attention paid to John announcing "I want a divorce"? Why is it so important to sweep John being a dickhead under the rug? I think that's what had Paul so confused and pissed off, to the point that he couldn't really pinpoint one single thing that could have hurt John. 'Are you serious, I hurt him when he's the one who abandoned me multiple times through out our relationship and never apologized for any of it?' That would piss me off monumentally if I were Paul, I'd deny all knowledge of hurting John too since he refused to own up to hurting Paul in the first place.
I honestly go back and forth on this because I can see a relationship between those two being way more than just platonic. On and off hook ups in the 70s amongst the angst could also explain John’s sporadic comments about Paul throughout this decade. One day praising him, the other cursing him. Both parties not being brave enough (and a whole host of other factors) to not commit or acknowledge what was going on fully would have been very confusing to say the least.
That's pretty much it. Keeping in mind that Yoko kept John hooked on drugs to keep him from making up with Paul as well.
I think the confusion and frustration Paul expressed/expresses is a byproduct of the fog of war. He's too close to the subject matter, he can't figure it out because he can't see the big picture.
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lwyikas · 4 months ago
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The Story Of Us ft Kuroo Tetsurou
w:thank you to anon who requested this!
"Since a twist of fate, 'cause we're going down and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now"
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You watch ceiling while lying in your bed
When was line of friendship between you and him so blurred? Was it when he start to hug you longer than usual? when he walks your house every day without exception? When he dance all night with you at your birthday party? What happened yesterday was a breaking point.
You two on you way to home after school, after his training over. While you tell him something with exaggerated hand gestures, something falls on your hand from the air. Ew,you hate birds, it’s disgusting.
He helps you while trying to get a napkin from your bag, he holds your phone and jacket on his arm. You are not aware of his eyes glaming at you.While you are angrily cleaning the shit in your hand, sun’s lights reveal their brightness to your face in exactly most wonderful way. He is watching you with small smile. God, you are divine.
His heartbeat gets faster, it’s getting hard to think
When he tilts his head, you two come face to face.
Your heartbeat gets faster too
You both didn’t dare to move, but what happened Tetsurou looked at you as if he was reading your soul with his charming eyes and brought his face that close to you? Why was his warm breath so close to you?
When you remembered that, you felt a slight chill from your spinal cord to your neck.
You were dizzy or you were have fever? You weren’t sure. He wasn’t either. He could kiss you if he bowed his head a little. He seemed to expect a permisson from you. He was hesitant. Would he kiss you?He will,he will he’s closing his eyes ,he’s getting clo-
“Bzzzzzz”
Suddenly, magic broke with phone ring, stars in his eyes was lifted and its real world again. After saying wait quietly, he picked up his phone. Who was it? Did they have to call him now? And why does this concern you, you would never have wondered about these things 2 months ago.
He comes back after call ends He scratches his neck but doesn’t know what to say. This is weird, very confused, but it felt so right to him at the moment.
“It was my dad, said he will come home late today”
“do you want to come us for dinner? Mom would be very happy” yes, she appreciates him very much, she would always comfortable when he was with you. She is aware that he is protective of you.
“I need to rest directly, i’m hell tired, but thanks, another time�� yes, he is very tired, but he still wants to talk about “almost kissing” thing just happened, but he is afraid. Were you attitudeful? Should he apologize? He didn’t get anything from your expression.
When you two approached your house, he couldn’t resist. “I’m sorry”
“About?”
“You know what about , it was a mistake, i’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable”.Mistake?,your heart ached. You did feel like a fool.
Oh, a simple complication
Miscommunications lead to fall out
“you‘re being selfish” you shout with anger.Nerve in your voice causes him to raise his eyebrow.”You just can’t focus on what you want at that moment and do it.”
“Me selfish? I don’t have magic genie, i can’t understand what your thoughts in advance,”.
“You have to think before you do something, i have feelings too.”
“But my feelings never matter to you, do they?” His tone raises, he doesn’t like where this going.
“Seriously,a mistake?” Your eyes burn from tears. You turn around so he can’t see your face.
“Look, i didn’t mean that, you know that too!” He should improve his communication skills, he can’t pick up and organize sentences he has in his head. He still doesn’t risk confessing you his feelings completely, so you’re too special to even risk losing.
So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up, I can't break through
“I don’t know any shit” you leave him there and get in house. He just looks behind you. Then he aggressively kicks a stone on road and curses himself.
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Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room And we're not speaking
There some kind of semester activities in school garden. It’s quite crowded, but you’re sitting alone with a bitch face that has passed into a corner.Tetsurou sitting a few seats away,scrolling down his phone. You haven’t talked him since yesterday.
and I'm dying to know Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah I don't know what to say
he sees you nervously pulling at your clothes and trying to look busy and he is doing his best to avoid you.He may have chosen his words wrong, but he thinks you’re exaggerating and his pride won’t allow him to fix things, for now.
But you held your pride like you should've held me
You are determined not to talk him even when you feel weight of his piercing gaze on you. This silence is disturbing, but he started it, you don’t want to embarrass yourself.
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how,
I never heard silence quite this loud
When another guy from your class shouts to you for look at a science stand related to plants, you accept because you are very bored. He continues to look behind you with only frowned eyebrows.
Fuck pride
This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less but I liked it better when you were on my side
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After school, you see him in corner of street while walking home alone. He was looking at leaning place against the wall. He straightened up when you showed in his view and was about to say something when you pass in front of him without caring.He calls out “hey wait, we should talk”
"You shouldn’t talk to me, you can make other mistakes sir”
“You pull what i said in wrong place,there’s many things you don’t know”
“Tell me then” you fold your arms nervously. Your reactions are exaggerated but you are impatient.
“length of foot is equal to the forearm”
"Really?"
“I read it is valid for 90% of world’s population”
You are trying to hold your smile“this information will very useful, be serious now”
He sighs. Now or never
“I love you” he said bravely. He can’t believe himself, he succeeded, wow world didn’t explode.
“I love you too?” You answered with confusion
“No,dumbass, not like that, not as a friend”
Oh
Your hands starts tremble with excitement, you’ve always dreamed of this, but you still can’t silence your thoughts
What if it doesn’t work? Then you will lose both;your love and your best friend. You can’t handle it. Maybe it’s the right thing to live your feelings inside your head?
That special place Tetsuro have in your life is something can’t compare to anything and its enough to make you think about every small detail about him down to every subtle detail.
When he sees your red face and trembling hands, he panics too. Come on girl say something. He makes you sit on a bench and crouchs front of you.
“look we can pretend i never confessed if u want-“
“Absolutely no!You can’t take it just back”
“Listen, i really like you, no, even more than like, but i will never force you, you have all tim-“
“ I feel same”
He looks you in shock but in seconds he starts to smile, his massive hands caressing your cheeks. “But i have hesitations”
“What hesitations?We can overcome these together”
“So were friends and what if we become distant? i don’t want to ruin everything and-“ your tone getting lower. “I don’t want to lose you”
“Don’t think this as losing,it like more evolving.You’re not losing your best friend,you’re just getting something extra,there’s no way you can lose me, you have to put up with me forever”you giggle and he kisses edge of your lips.
“You can never imagine how long i’ve been dreaming of this”
Maybe the story of us isn’t that tragic at all
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kamiversee · 10 months ago
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The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.
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The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.). 
Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)
(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)
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holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.
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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)
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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.
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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl
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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.
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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^
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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.
"I made a mistake." [reader] 
"A good one." 
"Bad one." You correct.
this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.
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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)
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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?" 
The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16
THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')
"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21
AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.
You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense. 
Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much? 
If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23
i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!
the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE
"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine." 
...
You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?" 
...
 "Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused. 
There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.
of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK
——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.
BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin. 
You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question. 
"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.
this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.
chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;
the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)
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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)
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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.
no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID
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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.
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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him
then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…
the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.
WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.
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A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏
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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.
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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)
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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.
the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.
the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT
Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna- 
Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-
GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!
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A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹
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---
seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.
but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.
the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.
we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.
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A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅
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"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.
i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.
kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.
but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.
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A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶
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---
okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;
Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.
we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?
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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D
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Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.
what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing? 
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A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.
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we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.
the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?
what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?
regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.
to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)
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A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟
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but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)
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but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.
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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together. 
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it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.
---
my citations for these theories ☝️🤓
“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56
loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).
“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.” 
“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?” 
“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement. 
“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him. 
He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.” 
You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?” 
“Yup.” - Chapter 56
is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.
But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. -  Chapter 8
the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.
Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth. 
He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9
the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).
He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober. 
"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21
if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.
He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..." 
Your brows furrow at that. 
Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22
YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP
"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29
"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you." 
You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..." 
"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly. 
You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?" 
"You are." 
His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense." 
"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29
🧍‍♀️
anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.
"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person." 
"You could've prevented all this though..." 
Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30
this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.
"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you." 
Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him. 
If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.
COME ON NOW.
There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35
“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.” 
“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow. 
“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45
You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.” 
Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up. 
“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.” 
“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility- 
You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.” 
Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…” 
“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.” 
He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.” 
“But it’s true.” You say. 
And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46
if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).
He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53
then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).
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A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3
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but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;
It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing. 
So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence. 
The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8
Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.
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A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)
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another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).
the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.
also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3
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A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉 
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there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.
so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.
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A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!
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regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.
yap fin (for now)
-☃️
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A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.
This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)
To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)
Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))
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P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!
174 notes · View notes
eldritch-nightmare · 1 year ago
Note
Hi hi !! 🎀 anon here! May I get some HCs of Laughing Jack, Tim Wright/Masky and Jeff the Killer with an affectionate clingy s/o please and thank you! 🥹👉👈
(An unrelated note regarding last time: My job and boss is actually super cool and they said I can dye my hair!! I’m so stoked eek! <3 magenta highlights, once again, after so many years, here I come! They have been missed…)
a/n: omg yay!! happy you get to dye your hair!! <3
with an affectionate and clingy gn!s/o.
includes: laughing jack, jeff the killer, and tim wright.
warnings: uh... none... i don't think.
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LAUGHING JACK.
Out of all three, Laughing Jack is definitely the most stoked about having an affectionate and clingy significant other.
My guy has terrible abandonment issues, and he can be a bit clingy himself if the mood calls for it, so to have someone who doesn't want to leave his side? Might as well return him to heaven or something, because nothing will ever get better than that.
He is equally as affectionate if we're being honest.
Yeah, he's a big scary evil clown and all that terrorizes children but he knows how to be nice to the people he likes.
Knowing that you cling to him the way you do, it helps reassure him that you don't intend on leaving anytime soon. I mean, if you wanted to leave him, then you wouldn't be clinging to him like you always seem to do, right?
And so long as you keep clinging to him like you do, then his abandonment issues will rarely ever show up and everything will be all good and a-okay.
JEFF THE KILLER.
Hm... he can't decide if he likes you being clingy or if it annoys him. He won't lie, he loves the attention and it feeds his ego whenever you praise him or call him beautiful. You being affectionate is something he knows he likes. But he's not sure if he's fond of the clingy part or not.
When he first met Nina, she was pretty damn clingy as well, and that made him grow to hate her. To be fair, he didn't harbor any feelings for her. He does harbor feelings for you, however, and it feels different when you cling to him.
There are days when he can't stand you clinging to him, and he'll make it known in a rather rude way, to be honest. But there are also days when he wants you to cling to him because sometimes, your clinging to him feels a lot more genuine than your affectionate words.
He's very 50/50 on it, and it can change by the hour, to be honest. But he's fine with it more often than he's not. Only because he likes you.
But will he ever actually tell you that he likes it? Probably not.
It'll be fairly obvious though. Jeff may be rude, but he's not exactly the best at hiding his emotions around people he feel comfortable with.
TIM WRIGHT.
Please give him time to adjust because holy shit there's no way he'll be immediately comfortable with you clinging to him. He can barely take a compliment without feeling uncomfortable, so there's no way he'll be fine with physical affection right off the bat.
He'll tense up whenever you throw your arms around him, and it'll be very awkward because he's not entirely sure what he's supposed to do. Does he hug you back or does he just stand there? He's never been super close to people like this before, so it's all still very new to him.
If he becomes too uncomfortable, he'll let you know and will definitely put some distance between the two of you until he no longer feels that way.
He doesn't feel suffocated by your affection and clingy behavior, it's just something he's struggling to get used to because, I mean, Tim does have the mindset of 'I don't deserve this type of love' so it's very hard for him to accept it.
He'll definitely distance himself from you entirely during the events of Marble Hornets because there's no way he wants you getting involved, and he already blames himself for everything that's happening. He doesn't want anything to happen to you.
And if you're still around after the events of Marble Hornets, then honestly he would need your clinginess to ground him.
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runningfrom2am · 11 months ago
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cold nights // part twenty-seven
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summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.4k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.
a/n: omg we're coming up on the end i could cry :') i finished writing everything and i feel like a shell of a person rn without this fic to plan and write, but i hope you guys are excited! there will be five more parts after this and then the epilogue, which brings me to some really exciting news!!
big news #1: i'm opening oneshot requests for this series!! my normal requests will remain closed but i'd love to see what you guys want for the more of this series! (link is here!)
big news #2: the end of this story is opening the doors to my third coryo series which I've been working on for a hot minute, and it'll be called requiem! (see the original request for it here to get the vibes before i post anything!)
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist
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The protests caught you off guard, more than anything.
It had only been two weeks since you started your classes and you were loving them, but you hated getting dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon. You and Coryo could no longer eat lunch outside, and the previously full lecture halls you had occupied saw more and more students dropping out as people stood outside just to shout at you as you came and went from the school four days a week. To call you an animal, that you don't belong there, that you should be "put down" for crimes against the Capitol. What they were? You had no idea.
Suffice to say, parents were not happy that you were there.
Generally, Coryo said that people had loved you in the games. You were "harmless", and "sweet", you gave them someone to root for- but now that you were walking freely among them instead of being kept behind the bars at the zoo or trapped inside the arena awaiting your death, you were suddenly a threat.
"They... they think I'll hurt someone?" You sniff, watery eyes overflowing as you look at Coryo lying beside you in his bed.
He bites his tongue, nodding as he wipes away your tears with the hand he has resting just under your cheek on top of his pillow. "They're afraid. That's all, it's not because of anything you did."
"I won't." You cry. "I would never, you know that, right?"
"I know, love. I know that." He promises you quietly.
"I don't want people to be afraid of me. It's not fair to them... If they feel unsafe I should just drop out."
"You're not doing that." He insists with a slight shake of his head. "We'll figure it out. Okay? Don't worry about them."
You just nod softly, wiping your eyes as he pushes his arm under your neck. "C'mere." He mumbles rolling onto his back and you move closer, laying your head on his chest as he pulls you closer to his side.
Coryo did figure it out, for the most part, which is how you ended up standing in Capitol TV's studios, awaiting an interview with Lucky Flickerman, someone you definitely thought you would never see again after the games. You didn't know how Coryo did it, who he had to talk to in order to convince them to let you plead your case so publicly. Apparently, the Snow name came with more power than you knew.
"You're gonna do great, love." Coryo whispers to you. "Just be yourself, but remember what I said about your essay, right? Be honest, but think about how you word things. I know you can do it." He assures you quietly, hands resting on your shoulders.
You nod, giving him a hopeful smile. "Thank you."
"I'll be right here, I'm not going anywhere." These types of reassurances were becoming less and less necessary over the month you've been here, but still, you don't like it when he's far, and he doesn't like it when he doesn't know where you are. It worked nicely for you both.
"Miss Y/L/N, whenever you're ready." One of the crew directs you, pointing to the comfortable chair they had set up in front of a homey-looking backdrop. It was fake, but it was meant to look like you were in someone's house. The idea of it was confusing to you, but you supposed it was also unimportant. You had much bigger concerns.
"Thank you." You smile at them and give Coryo another quick nod before making your way over to the seat that they said was yours.
Coryo watches as you carefully brush your hands over the front of your dress, smoothing it as you sit down. You looked so elegant as you did it, if he didn't know better, it looked like the habits of the people you were now surrounded with were rubbing off on you quickly. He had watched you rehearse how you would carry yourself and how you would speak and act with Tigris just this morning, after she fit you into the dress she had made for the occasion. Clearly, you had been paying attention.
When you draw your hair from your back and over your shoulder so your meticulously styled curls wouldn't be crushed against the chair, Coryo thinks he might need to sit down. Especially so when you look back at him again, subtly waving at him with your hand from where they are placed in your lap. The dress Tigris had given to you was red- a deep red silky material that complimented the red of his coat and mimicked the shade of the Capitol's flag but still had you standing out on your own. Seeing the way that dress fit you and hugged your form in all the right ways even as you were sitting, he was sure he had never been more grateful to his cousin and her talents.
"Y/N, it's so good to see you again." Lucky smiles at you as he sits down across from you, adjusting the small device attached to his lapel as crew members come up to you and fasten the same thing to the front and back of your dress.
"You as well." You grin, trying the best you can to mask your nervousness.
"Are you ready? Do you need anything?" He asks and you shake your head.
"I am ready whenever you are." You confirm, looking around as some more lights flick on, bright in your eyes as the man behind the camera starts counting down.
You look over at Coryo one last time and he nods at you. It was just like your first interview all over again- you had to sell yourself to the people. To prove that you were worth trusting.
"My name is Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman," You smile as he flips a coin up into the air. You've seen him do it before, but you still weren't sure how the trick worked. "Amateur magician and your host for everything interesting on Capitol TV, and today is certainly no exception. Today, I have a familiar face with me who I know you will all recognize as well, the Victor of the Tenth Annual Hunger Games, Miss Y/N Y/L/N." He looks over at you and you keep your eyes on him, certain that all cameras are watching you now.
"Y/N, I am so happy to have you back. How have you been?" Lucky asks you and you're already fighting off the need to fidget with your hands.
"I am very well." You smile at him. "How about yourself? It has been a while."
"I'm great, thank you! You know, I was not allowed to bet on the games, but anyone who was there can tell you that I predicted your win from the beginning. You certainly are something else."
"Oh, well thank you." You giggle. "Though, I can't fully be credited for my win. I have to thank the sponsors who allowed Coriolanus to send me food and water. That made all the difference in my game."
"Oh, most definitely." He agrees. "But you shouldn't deny your own role in that. Hiding in the vents, that was genius!" Lucky claps. "Truly, that was a jaw-dropping moment for all of us watching. I remember thinking 'wow, how did she think of that?' It was incredible!"
"Yes, well, I saw the grate and knew it was worth a try." You shrug, slightly laughing. "I had nothing to lose."
"Yes, well, I'm dying to know- what have you been up to the last few months? You went back to Twelve, and then what?"
"Oh! Yes, I did. I've been spending time with friends and family, I got a job at the local library, catching up on some reading, that sort of thing." You grin, glancing at Coryo for only a moment and he gestures for you to continue. "I got home and I really realized for the first time how much we should be appreciating everything we have- even out in the Districts where sometimes life is tough, it's key to remember how privileged we are to be alive. The games were truly eye-opening for me."
Coryo gives you a quick nod of approval, and you smile, training your view back on the man across from you.
"Yes, I agree. Live life to the fullest, that's what they say." You just nod at his response. "Which also begs the question, if you were happy back in Twelve, what brought you back to the Capitol?"
Let the lies begin.
"Well," You laugh nervously. "When I was given the opportunity to come here for the games back in July, I was so interested in everything. The people who I got to talk to, the things I got to see, it was all amazing and I was just dying for more."
"So you decided to come study at the university here, is what I've heard."
"Yes, exactly." You grin. "I just think that the Capitol has so much to offer as far as education goes, I am already learning so much and I am having so much fun doing it."
"So really, your focus is just on your education." He prompts you and you nod.
"Definitely, considering the course load I don't have time for much else, but that doesn't really bother me. Like I said, I just want to learn from the greatest minds in the nation. Even the other students, it's amazing! Everyone has earned their spot there and I can see why and all the work they have put in to be there. It's a privilege to study among them, and I am so grateful that I was given this chance."
"You say 'all the work that they put in to be there', but you didn't attend the academy, so how is it that you were admitted?"
"I filled out the same application that all the other students did, I went through all the same testing." You confirm, nodding at him. "Although," You laugh slightly. "I was only given one day to complete it all. I was locked away in my room working on it all night. I hardly had time to blink, it was tough."
"Wow!" Lucky laughs. "One day? I remember when I applied to the university, my application took months to get just right. You must have aced it all."
"I am very proud of the work I did to be admitted, yes." You smile.
"From what I hear, you should be." He agrees. "So, you're really not in it for the sake of making friends."
"Well, I certainly would love to, but it is not my priority." You nod. "But, if any of my classmates are watching, I promise I am good at proofreading and if you need a second set of eyes on your papers, I'm happy to help. I'd also love to have more people to discuss our readings with." You joke, looking into the camera for the first time.
Lucky laughs. "You've heard it here, everyone. Y/N's pitch to make some friends!"
"Yes, I suppose it was." You chuckle, smiling at him.
"Now on the topic of friends while we're getting to know you better," You tilt your head at him while he begins the question, unsure where it is going. "Back home, do you have a boyfriend? Surely he must be missing you."
"No, not at home..." You laugh, catching in the corner of your eye as Coryo shakes his head at you, his face flat of emotion. "I don't have a boyfriend. Again, that's really just not where my priorities lie at the moment. I've... I've had a very busy year, you could say." You explain hesitantly.
"Wow! A beautiful girl like you?" You laugh nervously at his response. "Capitol boys! She's smart, pretty, and single. Just saying." He says, raising his hands.
You knew his job today was to help you, to make you more likable and more normal, to humanize you, but it was still uncomfortable to hear. "Oh, please." You laugh nervously, waving a hand at him. "Like I said, I'm just here to learn. I'm not after anyone's son."
"No? Not even all the handsome boys in your classes? I'm sure there are at least a few." He teases you and your cheeks flush red.
"I wouldn't know, I'm watching the lectures." You shrug jokingly.
Coryo is trying not to lose his mind while you talk about how single you are. Not that you were much of a willing participant, and to be fair he did tell you not to indicate to them that the two of you were together. You technically weren't, if he was being totally fair, but just because it hadn't been said doesn't mean it isn't real. He knew you knew that, though. So why was he getting so mad?
He doesn't even realize how little attention he was paying after that until you're standing up and shaking Lucky's hand. It was over, you'd done everything you could have to ease the minds of scared and angry Capitol parents.
Lucky gives you a quick hug, wishing you good luck in your classes before you're allowed to rejoin Coryo. "Ready to go?" He asks and you nod.
"How did I do?" You ask as you walk out of the studio and into the hall, aiming for the elevator to take you back to ground level.
"Amazing, love. You were perfect." Coryo confirms, still noticeably tense as he walks next to you.
"Are you sure?" You ask as he presses the button to call the car up to your level, unsure since he still hasn't really looked at you.
The door opens and you both step in. "Yes." He tells you again, quickly tapping the door close button.
"Oh, good. I was really nervous..." You laugh slightly as the doors slide shut, and as soon as any light from the hall ceases to enter the elevator his hands are on you and his lips are pressed against yours.
You let out the slightest squeak out of shock, but quickly relax as Coryo rubs familiar small circles on your hips with his thumbs. How he could be so gentle as he backs you into the wall of the elevator you don't know, but you're grateful for it as you hum into his mouth. But still, something was different.
Spending so much time with you only made him want you more. He loved you, he knew that, and someplace deep in the corners of his mind, he had always wanted you in a way he never thought possible when he first fell for you before the games. Now, with you curled up under his sheets almost every night, seeing you step out of the bathroom with damp hair after a shower in pyjamas that don't fit you quite right, he thought about it more than ever. Thoughts of you plagued him more than usual, and the best way to describe the accompanying feeling was guilt. Guilt that he couldn't show you off given the circumstances- at least not yet.
He trails his kisses away from your lips and across your jaw, pulling you tighter against him. "You're so beautiful, my love..." He mumbles into the skin just below your ear, leaving a kiss in his wake that has your head spinning.
You giggle, eyes fluttering open. "What has gotten into you?" You ask, hands sliding up over his chest to rest on his shoulders.
"I can't tell my girlfriend that I think she's gorgeous?" He asks, shaking his head slightly as he looks down into your eyes.
"Oh, so I am your girlfriend." You giggle and he nods, kissing you again.
"Of course you are, and don't forget it." He chuckles, pulling back from you as the elevator stops moving, waiting for the doors to open.
Your skin is flushed down to your chest as the doors slide apart and even though he's not touching you anymore, you can feel the ghost of his hands on you. You look up at him, a lingering smirk still on his face as he looks straight ahead and leads you out of the car.
The phone rang at the time you were eating dinner, and you quickly asked if you could be excused to go answer it. Coryo and Tigris both just nodded at you, but you could still feel their grandmother's eyes burning into your back as you quickly walked away. She still wasn't fond of you, but she tolerated you. For now, that was just enough.
You grab the phone off the receiver as the small round screen flickers to life. "Hello?" You answer, hopeful that it would finally be your family you see on the other side.
You had answered every call that came to the Snow's apartment for weeks, waiting anxiously to hear their voices again.
"Y/N, is that you, honey?"
You gasp with excitement when you get a clear enough view of your ma. "Ma! Hi!" You smile, leaning in a little closer to get a more clear view as the camera on their end begins to adjust. This was likely the first time it was being used.
"Oh, honey, how good it is to see you!" She smiles, and out of nowhere, you feel hot tears welling up in your eyes.
"You too, Ma." You nod, biting into your lower lip. You didn't want to cry so quickly into the call. "How are you? How's everything at home?"
"Same old." She shakes her head with a slight laugh. "I'm much more interested in you- how is everything? How is school? And how is Tybalt settling in? How are you settling in? My goodness, I just have so many questions!"
You laugh, quickly wiping a stray tear. You had told them about all of this in letters, of course, but she just wanted to hear you say it all. "Everything is good. School has been so lovely, Coryo walks me to all my classes and we eat lunch together between. And Tybalt just loves it here! They have a garden on the roof, and I take him up there as often as I can. Tigris won't stop giving him treats either so he couldn't be happier."
You look down at the animal as he brushes against your leg, looking up at you.
"That's amazing. I've been so worried, it's just so good to see your face again. God, we've been missin' you..."
"I miss you too." You agree, careful not to choke on your tears. "How is Len? And have you seen Lucy Gray and the Covey?"
"He's... He's doing alright." Your mother looks off-screen, and you assume he must be there. The look on her face, one of nervousness and hesitation tells you he doesn't want to speak to you. "But Lucy Gray has been around every day, she and Maude Ivory come over and they help me with hanging the laundry and such... It's been good to have them around."
You smile sadly, nodding slightly with the receiver pressed to your ear. You felt bad about that aspect of leaving- you spent as much time as you could before the games helping out around the house, but even in the summer when you came back you weren't much help. Your mother wouldn't let you do dishes all summer, for fear that the sight of a knife might set you off. She knew you came back a different person, and she wasn't taking any risks. All she really allowed you to do was hang laundry and "keep her company" while she did other home chores. But now, she didn't even have that.
"Can I speak to him?" You ask, referring to your brother who you knew was there.
She nods, waving off camera and holding her hand over the wrong part of the phone. "Lennox, come over here. Y/N wants to talk to you."
His response is muffled, but you make out the gist of it. 'I don't want to talk to her'.
"She's your sister, Lennox. You can't ignore her forever."
'If she wants to talk, she should come home.'
Your heart clenches in your chest and you chew your lip. You have to pretend you couldn't hear, but you just felt so horribly guilty. You shouldn't have left, but he doesn't understand you had no choice. He wouldn't be able to understand until you could come home and see him again, likely not until the summer. Coryo had told you to be mindful of what you write in letters and what you say on the phone, it's possible others were listening. The Capitol was always listening.
"He's just a little busy right now, honey." She smiles at you, but you can see right through it. "But tell me about your day! Did you have class?"
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taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses, @cascadingbliss
okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!
also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)
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abyssalzones · 6 months ago
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hey anon! I debated most of this morning what the best way to respond to your ask would be because I'm not going to lie to you it almost made me cry. hopefully a drawing is okay. I wasn't sure whether it was my place to share what you've sent but I did want to answer you properly, and it ended up getting kind of long... so I'll put that under the cut here (sa mention)
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First of all you definitely have nothing to apologize for, a major element of my analysis (and what had made me so nervous to post it to begin with) was that it came from a very personal place, and I knew if I posted it I was going to be opening up a lot of doors. good or bad I honestly had no idea but I really hadn't anticipated such an overwhelmingly positive response, and I especially hadn't imagined so many people to share their own experiences with abuse and how what I wrote meant something in relation to that. it makes me extremely glad I bit the bullet and allowed myself to be a little vulnerable about something I enjoy.
there's something almost uniquely weird about being a victim and seeing yourself in a story but not knowing how to express that. it feels like one of those things you can't really say without crossing an extreme line, and any parallels you might be able to draw are therefore Reaching, biased by your own experiences. I've struggled with this a lot as someone who uses art not only as an outlet but a voice for my experiences- and what experiences I think deserve to not only be treated with respect but honesty. there's a lot to be said about the alienation of the victim from the rest of society when sexual assault is so overwhelmingly common in our world, and how difficult it can be to find truthful and respectful depictions of these experiences in... anything, pretty much.
I have no idea if that's what they were trying to do specifically, from a textual angle. but I do think it's possible, and am confident that they at least drew on the subject (both in the instance of Bill coercing Ford to drink and the scene later where Ford is paralyzed), which was honestly what led me to write the analysis in the first place. That "he's kinda like me" moment you describe is something I'd had for a long time but had never been able to say confidently without feeling like I was reading between the lines. But I think you're right. and I think there is a real reason why such a story could speak to people in that way, could be so important for the process of recovery... we can't always conceptualize what happens to us from our own perspective, y'know? we're trapped in our own minds for the most part. so I think fiction works excellently as a way to work through these things and see our worst struggles in someone else- and to come to vitally important realizations of our own.
anyway, all that to say I'm so glad what I wrote helped you come to that realization. hearing that makes me feel like I've done something not only to help myself find some closure, but for others to as well :] healing is always, always possible and I sincerely hope you find your happiness as Ford has, and as I've found mine.
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luveline · 2 years ago
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hey babe, i was wondering if you’d write something with grumpy!sirius platonic or romantic (your choice) where the readers normally sunshine and all happy but everyone forgot her birthday so he does everything he can to cheer her up
not projecting at all 🤭
if you don’t want to that’s so okay i understand diolch cariad 🫶🏻🫶🏻
hi, thank you for your request! I hope you can make the very best of your day, anon, I’m sorry the people close to you forgot it :( please have a happy birthday! grumpy!sirius x sunshine fem!reader
Sirius is guilty of pretending you irk him. You're always smiling, always complimenting him, and always touching him. He knows you wouldn't touch him if he asked you not to —you checked with him a couple of times when you first met if it was okay, and he said, Yeah, it's okay, with no further explanation or objection. 
He pretends your sunny disposition doesn't make him happy, too, but it does. It's selfish, then, when he notices you aren't feeling good today and decides he has to correct it immediately, lest the ray of sunshine that is your presence diminish. 
He sits down beside you on the bench, propping his face in his hand, elbow on his knee, a picture of nonchalance. "Hey." 
"Hi, Siri." 
He takes his pack of Lamberts from his jacket pocket and offers you one. You never take one, but he offers anyway. He doesn't want you to start smoking, he just figures that it's a nice gesture. 
He puts them away without lighting any when you say no. 
"Don't not have one on my account," you say. 
It's exactly why you deserve to have someone checking on you, no matter how cold it is, and no matter how much fun everyone's having at the bar. You put everyone else first.
"I didn't want any." He was trying to cheer you up. He should've known a cigarette wouldn't do it. Best go in with guns blazing. 
Sirius rifles through the inside pocket of his leather jacket and pulls out the white box inside. He hadn't wrapped it. There's a confidence that comes with sincerity, and it's the kind of confidence he lacks. He's embarrassed enough to have bought you something in the first place. 
"Happy birthday," he says. "Don't tell me if you don't like it, please." 
You sit up a little straighter, inch by inch, accepting the small box into your hands. They wrap around the lid, your fingers moving with a deliberate gentleness, until your thumbs clamp over the top of it hard enough to make the lid bend. You smile at him, and it is perhaps the most heartbreaking smile he's ever seen. Disappointment and gratefulness all wrapped into one. 
"I didn't think anyone remembered," you say. Your voice is hoarse, and you cough rather than let it crack. 
He thought maybe you'd been upset because it was your birthday —Sirius himself has a weird relationship with his. He hadn't considered that no one else thought to celebrate with you. And despite his general unhappiness, his permanent headache and all the constraints of being as introverted as he is, Sirius sort of snaps.
He puts a hand on your shoulder, his elbow resting against your back, and pulls you toward him. "I'm so sorry." 
You're clearly surprised by his touch, but you don't shy away. "No, it's okay. I realise that it's my fault, you know, we're all adults and I should've mentioned it again, I can't expect people to know if I don't say." 
"I think…" He licks his lips. "Okay, I think that people genuinely do forget things, but it's a special day, and you expected special things. I really don't see how it's your fault." 
"Maybe not," you concede. You sniffle, and Sirius is horrified to realise you've a tear traversing down the soft slope of your cheek. "I don't know, I just wish people remembered." 
"I'm sorry," he says again. 
You wipe your cheek with a cruel hand. He can't stop himself from taking it, wanting to prevent any further self-meanness. Your eyes widen as you look him in the face, tears dewy at the waterline. 
"But you remembered," you say, tone happy even while thick with tears. 
"I wrote it down," he confesses. "I wanted to get it right." 
"That's so nice," you say, another tear cresting your cheek. You wrap your arms around his waist and tuck your cheek against his in a hug. "That's really thoughtful, Siri. Thank you." 
"You're welcome. You… make so much time for me. Whenever you see me. I don't know if you know how much you affect people, you can make anybody smile. I wanted to make sure I could do the same, even if it's only once." 
"You make me smile all the time." You squeeze him and then pull away, wiping your cheeks and straightening your jacket. 
He'd usually roll his eyes, but not right now. He just smiles at you, hoping you understand it for all the silent appreciation that it is. 
You huff a little breath in and drop your gaze to your hands in your lap, where you're untying the bow that's been wrapped around the jewellery box. You lift the lid, the sides emitting a shushing sound near enough lost to the sound of the street and the people laughing in the pub behind you. 
It's a bracelet. The beads are simple but not something you'd see everyday, silver backed hearts, flat on the silver side and a milky white that seems to glow on the bevelled fronts. There's four hearts, connected to smaller milky white beads. 
He was terrified buying it and he's scared now. 
"I really like you," he says. "I'm sorry about your birthday. You deserve a lot more." 
Your cheeks apple as you turn to him, your eyelashes kissing with the force of your smile. You pull your knees to touch his and offer him the bracelet on two fingers. "Can you hook it on, please?" 
"You don't have to wear it," he says, because he didn't think this far. 
"I want to wear it, please. It's beautiful. It's the nicest gift anyone's ever given me." 
He blinks hard and dips his head slightly to one side as he murmurs, "If you're sure," hands coming up to take the bracelet from you. 
You're both quiet as he unlatches it and lays it across your wrist. He's gentle to the point of aching, and he's putting every bit of effort that he can to stop his hands from trembling, he's so nervous.
"There," he says. "Anything else you need?" 
It's meant to be sarcastic, as if to say, you're working me like a dog, here. 
You shake your head hurriedly. "Nothing else. Thank you, Sirius." 
He takes his cigarettes out, knowing he won't be able to calm down, not when you're looking at him like he just hung the moon. "It's okay," he says, putting a cigarette between his lips. "Don't mention it. Please, don't." 
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diagonal-queen · 1 year ago
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Your blog is very safe, me thinks. Very comfort, if that makes sense lol. I have a request, feel free to ignore this but I can't help but to wonder what a few BSD men would be like with a very mature/maternal and responsible s/o who tends to put themsleves last and burn themselves out (preferably fem, as I am an older sister who has taken on the role of caregiver and project HEAVILY) I'd like to see Fyodor, Poe, Ranpo and Jouno. (You can throw in anyone else if you want)
BSD boys with a self-sacrificing girlfriend
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♡ pairing: Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Edgar Allan Poe, Ranpo Edogawa, Saigiku Jouno x fem!Reader
♡ synopsis: How are they with a caring and self-sacrificing girlfriend?
♡ cw: Swearing, use of fem titles, she/her pronouns, mentions of stress and burnout.
note: Thank you for the sweet message anon <3 it's truly a shame that you and i are the exact same person who have experienced the exact same burden of raising children we didn't choose to have. but i've moved out now so i'm free!! come live with me queen tf we're besties now. apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x
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Fyodor:
Fyodor is a trad man. I'm sure he has some weird beliefs about how women are supposed to have some normalised feminine traits, but this is too much even for him.
It really pains him to see you be so selfless, truly. Though he admires your kindness and patience, he just wants you to be content. He wants you to be comfortable.
Does he enjoy having what is basically a personal maid around? Yes, yes he does. Does he feel guilty for feeling that? No. But does he recognise that your current self-sacrificing routine is unhealthy? YES HE DOES.
So...he simply does not make you do anything at all. If you want to do something for him that's on you.
If you want to do something for someone *else*, he probably won't really let you. Unless it's like family or something, then he understands, but no, you're not helping that random child get their kite unstuck from that tree no matter how much you want to, myshka.
Fyodor absolutely doesn't involve you in his work. He knows that'll only stress you out more, and that's the last thing you need. As such he keeps you away from his coworkers (especially Mykola. Sorry Mykola lovers)
He comes to value his time spent relaxing with you, because he also acknowledges that he could use a break every now and then as well. There's nothing quite as comforting to him as lounging around alongside you- you don't have to be talking or even doing the same thing, as long as you're there together.
Listen, Fyodor does care about you, and he values your health and wants you to be relaxed and uncaring as much as is possible. But if you, his sweet woman, wants to make him a cup of tea, who is he to turn you down?
Poe:
I don't know exactly how to explain Poe here. Just hear me out
He is genuinely so like stressed and anguished about your lack of self-preservation in favour of caring about others. He constantly thinks about it and writes tragic poems about it and shit
Like he's like 'my love......she does not see herself as i do, as a beautiful star....with every act of kindness her light dims ever so slightly...until she's reduced to nothing.........the irony of the good deeds of man..............;-;'
HE'S SO SAD OKAY HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND WANTS TO SEE YOU RELAX FOR ONCE
He will go all out in his attempts to make you feel calm and comfortable and happy. Oh he will buy you SO many presents it's disgusting. He will rent out whole restaurants and like even theme parks and shit if that's your thing. He'll stop at no lengths to give you some respite, and it's honestly quite sweet
All that being said, he does love that you're so attentive and caring about Karl. He's definitely watched you play with him and then started blushing super hard because the word 'parents' suddenly crossed his mind and now he's thinking about children and aaaaaa
ABSOLUTELY writes a scenario in which you can relax. Whatever you want- an empty beach, a forest, a liminal space, he'll write it all for you, and gift you the book so you can go there whenever you want :>
He's basically a sugar daddy, except you're in an actual relationship and it's not all about the money. Your boyfriend just happens to be loaded as fuck
At the end of the day, Poe is such a hypocrite because he himself is such a workaholic that he practically lets it consume him, too!
You're both absolute messes. Drink some water and sleep for god's sake. And for the love of all things good take care of each other.
Ranpo:
Bro knows exactly what's up. Sorry, he's got you all figured out fr
That doesn't mean he won't let you baby him though. At first. He'll just let you, along with everyone else, clean up after him and buy him shit
BUT soon, soon he realises that this behaviour is rather detrimental to your health. He sees the circles under your eyes, he notices these things. And he's like '...oh shit'
Ranpo doesn't have any shame or reservations. He straight up confronts you about it. 'Why don't you ever take care of yourself?' And he's not playing around this time
And no matter what your excuse is, he's like 'not good enough. We're going to get ice cream RIGHT NOW and you're going to talk to me about this. Now lead me to the ice cream parlour immediately'
(I may or may not be paraphrasing this particular quote)
The point is that he presents you an avenue to open up about your struggles, stress and psyche. And he really does want to help- the fact that he gets ice cream out of this is just a bonus
From here on out he'll keep an eye out for you. Every time you find yourself getting overworked or burning out he'll make you take a break. This could be a nap or sending you home or a surprise outing- anything to get your mind off work and people.
Ranpo is a stickler for the rules, sure, but he's also lazy as shit. Any time he doesn't feel like working, you're now not allowed to work either. You have to hang out with him or else (he'll be a little sad)
He doesn't necessarily introduce any...permanent solutions to your predicament, but he does have you looking forward to your couples-down time each day, and that's something!
Over time, you do learn to balance yourself and external responsibilities. And he will absolutely be taking credit for it lmao
Jouno:
Jouno is very...self-important, we'll say. Not like, completely selfish or anything, but very much tends to prioritise his own opinions and time and such.
You make him do a complete reassessment and breakdown of all of his thoughts and beliefs he's built up over the course of his lifetime
/j but really, you're unbelievably different from him. You're both willing to put yourself in danger or wear yourselves down, but *you* don't have anatomical medical adjustments that practically make you invincible.
Jouno wants to protect you- and he's not willing to negotiate. He's not letting anyone hurt you, even if on accident. He's especially not willing to let anybody take advantage of your generous nature, which is probably more likely anyway.
He's such a scary dog actually (lol get it?? get it cause he's one of the Hunting Dogs? DO YOU GET IT-) he'll accompany you anywhere if you ask him to.
When he wants to do something for you, he will do it. You're not lifting a finger miss girl
Like he really will take care of you! When he's off work, of course. His job is kind of important, but you best believe you're getting pampered when Jouno is off the clock.
My mans is romantic as FUCK: cooking you nice dinners, reading to you before bed, massages, cuddles- as well as engaging in your interests alongside you of course
He just thinks it's so cute to see you engrossed in something that YOU enjoy, and will encourage your down time
Jouno is gonna make sure that you take care of yourself too, because when he's not around, who better to look after anybody than you? That's the most important thing to him.
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taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen
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room-surprise · 1 year ago
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Hey! Fun question, how do you think an in-canon kabumisu confession would go? People keep portraying mithrun as blunt and straightforward about their relationship, but would he be scared to tell kabru in the chance that he'd say no and leave? Is the desire to just be in a relationship with kabru, or is the desire of not wanting to scare him off greater than that? I'm so starved on the lack of post-canon kabumisu content, they make me go crazy
As usual, I'll try not to go into TOO much detail because then I won't be motivated to write fic about it... and I AM planning to write a post-canon Kabumisu fic anon, so don't worry. I'll get there eventually :3
They make me go crazy too 😔
I think Mithrun's a complicated guy with complicated emotions. Even when he was "empty" in the dungeon he actually showed a lot of feelings - smug satisfaction, annoyance, anger, even a little bit of subtle happiness.
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So while I DO think he will still be blunt in general, I also think it's a mistake to assume that means he doesn't feel things and won't have anxieties and insecurities just like any other person.
Mithrun used to be WILDLY insecure, and jealous, and paranoid. He just stopped caring about anything, but if, like the end of the manga suggests, he is going to try to START caring again, he will then start to have feelings, too.
I think Mithrun is intensely aware of his own "undesirability", that's one of the reasons he's BEEN so depressed. Most of his self-worth before the dungeon hinged on being "better" than his brother, and better than other people. Then he looses that (or maybe he was never actually better at all!), so what does he have left? And now his youth is gone too, he's middle-aged and lost his "best years" to depression. He's disabled, he's scarred, he's a bastard that nobody wants.
It's a pretty huge fall from "most eligible bachelor in the empire"!
So I think no, he won't just bluntly tell Kabru that he likes him. It will take Mithrun awhile to realize how he feels, and once he does, he'll be afraid to reach out, so he's going to do what I call "playing silly little elf games". He's going to try and flirt via writing letters and sending gifts, to hint that he likes Kabru.
Luckily for Mithrun, Kabru also knows how to play Silly Little Elf Games (he's an Olympic champion), so he picks up the signals and starts reciprocating, though he's also uncertain and worried that he's misunderstanding. Captain Mithrun couldn't be flirting with him, could he? But... what if he is?
(I will go into Kabru's feelings at a later date anon i promise.)
I think the thing that will ultimately push Mithrun to act is the fear that he'll miss his chance. Mithrun realizes Kabru is a limited time deal that he can only enjoy for the next 60-something years, and he wants every minute of that time for himself, no matter how much it will someday hurt to lose Kabru.
And he also knows that Kabru is very handsome and charming, and he can't expect Kabru to wait for Mithrun to get himself figured out. Someone else will swoop in and snatch that man up, so Mithrun has to hurry.
ALL OF THAT SAID... I think their confession is a lot less of a confession, and much more "we have both been picking up these signals of interest for months/years, and finally one of us pushes it a little bit further than we've ever pushed it before and we acknowledge the unspoken thing that has been growing between us."
Maybe it's a hand resting on someone's leg, or a gentle touch on the arm. Maybe it's leaning in so their shoulders touch. Maybe it's looking into each other's eyes a little bit longer than normal.
Probably it involves both of them admitting "Spending time with you makes me happier than anything else in the world. Whenever we're apart all I think about is when I'm going to see you again. I spend hours composing letters to you in my mind. I want us to spend our days together, no matter what shape that takes."
It's very vulnerable and scary for both of them, and I think they're both DEEPLY relieved after they finally get it out, and they don't get rejected. They know each other so well, and they're so good at reading people - they both thought that the other might feel the same way, but it's so scary to take that leap of faith and hope that they're right.
And just for the record, I think that Kabru worries about if Mithrun will be interested in sex or not, because sex is something that matters to Kabru, but what if Mithrun just doesn't have any desire for it?
And so before they get into a relationship Kabru has a long hard think about it, and decides that even if they never have sex, he wants to be in a romantic relationship with Mithrun anyway, because just being around him makes him feel happy, and understood, and like he isn't alone anymore. There's someone who sees him as he is, all the good and the bad, and says "I love you anyway."
And Kabru decides that he's willing to just jerk off for the rest of his life if that's the price of this relationship that he wants.
Luckily for Kabru, I think Mithrun does want to have sex with him, but I like to think that Kabru thinks through all the possibilities and decides that no matter what they end up doing together, being with Mithrun is worth it.
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dior-luxury · 2 years ago
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What if... a new person comes to NRC/College in general. This new person catches the eyes of y/n, and this makes the characters get really jealous? This with Floyd, Rook, Cater, Sebek (Separate) please! Love your fics and keep up with the good work Valerie 💝(hope you don't mind me calling you by your name)!!!! 😊 Lastly can I be 🍱 anon please? :)
A New Person Catches Their S/O's Attention
( ✧ ) ────── 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 . 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 - 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 .
Of course, I'll do this! Thank you for your praises 🍱 anon! Also it is totally fine by you calling me by my name (♡μ_μ)! Lastly I made some of them make the reader not being in a relationship them yet so... extra drama ;).
- [𝐜𝐡.] floyd leech . rook hunt . cater diamond . sebek zigvolt - [𝐩:𝐬] semi - suggestive.
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#Floyd Leech
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Possessive x10.
Floyd is going to be extremely jealous and insecure at most. Why can't you see that he likes you? Did he not make it obvious? You´re basically hurting his very soul.
No one would be surprised if he gets extremely bold with you right now. Examples of that include: Kissing you or any other romantic stuff and even activating deep voice mode... (Floyd: *battle stance*)
But seriously, I don't think anyone would be surprised if this guy pulls out his magic pen or just uses his bare hand to fight. Like this guy is about to beat this guy's ass.
He's really about to through hands for you just looking at someone... not the best solution. He also takes into account that you ALSO have INTREST in that guy.
"Y/N. What about me? Am I not interesting?" You know stuff is about to go down when he doesn't use his iconic sea nicknames anymore.
If this goes on long enough, he isn't afraid to bite someone... bonus points if this happens when he's at the basketball club. He would for sure hit the guy in the back of the head with a ball. Not a lot of force- but you know that he is not happy.
(EXTRA points if he squishes them.)
But once again, possessive Floyd is not a force to be reckoned with. You can bet that this guy would exploit this situation and try to get all of your attention on him again.
Focusing on another mood of Floyd's... he also could be totally trivial about this whole scene. Like he would not care about this, usually, that happens 65% percent of the time...
- - -
Enjoy this mini-diagram I made <3; Technically speaking, if a situation like this happened... obviously these are just percent's and not totally equal lol.
Possessive: 75%
Doesn't care: 65%
Violent: 50%
Doesn't notice: 25%
#Rook Hunt
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Rook is… almost normal.
He is the master of hiding any sort of negative emotion- and might be so good at it that he doesn't even realize it. Yes, he indeed will know how he feels about this all, but does he care about expressing negatives? No, he doesn't.
As a wise man once said, Rook only cares about beautiful things. With jealousy not being included. Plus, he's confident that you don't mean anything by this, your just like him- with how you are interested in someone.
Rook might be the only sane one, to be honest- when it comes to this… just kidding.
This man will not- stop- bothering you about this. He's really happy that his little trickster found someone to have a such fascination with! He's beyond proud.
Even though likes you, he won't get in the way of your feelings. He might be overthinking this whole thing, but he wouldn't be lying if he got exposed for covering his feelings- by bothering you about your own.
Though he would ask for clarification if you had any feelings for the guy you were interested in. Even if so, he is ready to help in anyway he can~
. . . Okay now, what if I told you that was partially true? If we're talking about how he's feeling on the inside anyways. The 100% is surrounded by burning jealousy- it almost even hurts his very soul.
He waltzes over to the poor guy in a suffocating manner and tries to understand what you see in him.
If the student is smart enough to feel scared by Rook, they will make it out alive. If not- then you would have to hear the comments from Rook that sound too good to be true. He's from now on keeping a very close eye on your or anyone else behavior…
But of course, he will not show it.
#Cater Diamond
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Cater for sure does not show it- but he’s quite upset with this.
Basically in his mind, he already feels you like him, so it’s no wonder why he is feeling dejected. But- he also isn’t used to having such feelings for someone, and it all makes him second-guess things.
Even if you had no- whatsoever, romantic intention with him, he’ll over-read your kindness and think that you like him. Not ever being rational- and I mean, never.
Though as much as he wants to- he doesn’t ever want to use any sort of realism or even anything to clarify that he is only dreaming. Only because it just takes his feelings and confidence away from him.
His mind takes him to a more negative place and makes him believe- or think negatively. Then shortly he would begin to feel bad about ‘dreaming’, of your ‘very obvious’ feelings for him.
Even though Cater is a typically cherry person on the exterior, I can very much envision him almost losing his cool. He is practically even death glaring at the guy you seem to be looking at.
But of course- those feelings will only be in the insides, not wanting to disclose any of his emotions… which his emotions end up being, pure-utter-jealousy.
Basically what I’m trying to say… Cater is not the type to be as protective on the outside, but he is extremely down to throw hands with this student.
Not really saying that he will act on his more violent feelings… but he is very close that he might even. It all only depends on if he is pushed more to act on it.
And just saying… you might have to get Trey to hold back Cater from harming- or even go as far to to just malign the poor guy on the internet.
#Sebek Zigvolt
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He’s jealous but ten times more.
If you think that his protectiveness around Malleus was bad, try to add his, lovesick, clingy, and overprotectiveness to the also. As if having all of these traits aren’t bad enough already.
It is no wonder why I feel so bad for the guy you just have an interest in, you have a growling- Monsieur Crocodile, glaring at his ‘opponent’. He has some courage- and possessiveness to be yelling at some random guy. Thanks to this he now views him as an extreme threat. It really doesn’t matter if his ‘rival’ is a human or beastmen, he would still yell at them either way.
In his mind he can’t really help himself, I mean he was raised as a knight, one that’s supposed to protect the ones he cares for. That’s why he can’t help himself when he gets visibly mad when you look at someone in ‘awe’. It might also be the case where he wants you to look at him. why- not some random student who you haven’t even met before.
It’s almost like a curse of how he can’t be mature about this. It’s the first year curse of not using your head… it affects more than others. Basically he just doesn’t use his head and instead uses his emotions.
After class has ended… he then gets up from his desk and marches straight out of the door. Walking towards the scared and confused student, who has done nothing but exist.
I think he is too possessed by his emotions to not even feel any sort of remorse about this. Let’s all thank Lilia for the cause of this. Speaking of this, let’s talk about how pretty- if not, extremely lucky to have captured his attention, since it is not an easy thing to do.
But seriously, he really can't help but want to protect you from any cruel being in this world. That being, if we’re going to get in more detail on how he feels about this, even when he is very confused about this, he could call this feeling ‘forced confusion and anger’.
Which it also could be making his new feeling, which everyone knows as only 'jealousy'. This feeling makes his heart clench. It's like a swarm of dark energy involved in his system. Like black ink cursing a magical pen… or however you must describe it.
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lolaandthens0me · 6 months ago
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Question for you: Do you ever worry about giving this kink too much importance in your life?
I ask as someone contemplating a big move that, ultimately, is about being closer to other ABDLs.
There’s other upsides besides that, but were I born a vanilla fella, I’d probably be sticking closer to home.
It feels both exciting and scary at the same time. Does it sound crazy?
Hello Anon and thank you for this really amazing question!
As someone whose life is very kink-heavy, I periodically check in with myself and ask this question: am I finding a balanced life? There are times when my days and even weeks and very kink-oriented and then it will ebb and I'll be focused on other things like training, family, or career path stuff. As with hobbies or friend groups or lots of other things that hold our attention in life, kink too can ebb and flow. That being said, I think it's important to check in with ourselves to make sure that we're finding a healthy balance in all things we're doing.
For me, that balance includes having a close group of friends outside of kink, as well as a couple of hobbies/activities that I do regularly outside of kink and my kink circles. These close friends are open, empathetic and curious people that are striving to live an authentic life, just as I am. They know that I'm kinky and that I make content, but that's all they know about that side of me. It's important for me to be surrounded by people that I can be myself with; I don't feel that I have to hide myself around. I've also found a hobby that I've really invested some time in where I can just be plain-old-*insert my name here* in. It's a good escape from my everyday life, just as any hobby is from work life or family life or adulting life. My work life and everyday life just happen to be kink-centered at the moment. And I love it. If I find that I'm losing myself or I'm not happy and fulfilled in this life anymore, then it will be time to make a change.
As for the second part of your question, I don't think it sounds crazy at all. My advice is to make sure that this move makes sense for you financially, that you're in a stable, good place where you're not leaving behind some responsibilities or important stuff like family/school, etc that really acquire your attention there at the moment, and that there are other cool opportunities and reasons to move where you're moving to outside of kink.
I am so freaking happy and thriving now that I've moved to a place where I can be surrounded by my kink circle and in the same city as my partner/Daddy. It was absolutely the right decision for me. Living near "home"/where I grew up, it was really difficult for me to feel like I had the space to truly grow and be my more authentic self. I felt held back by the person I was/used to be and making a physical move helped me transition into this more real, truth-living, glorious being I'm becoming. My roommate is in the ABDL community, and this allows me to wear diapers 24/7 without needing to hide or be uncomfortable about it. The people I see most often and hangout/party with are all either ABDL's or in the broader kink BDSM realm. They are so fun, great communicators, responsible adults, and open people who really see and care about one another. Being able to live out our authentic kink selves within this group has helped each of us find self-acceptance and self-love. And that is invaluable.
I wish you the best and all of the good vibes as you move forward into whichever path truly allows you to be and love yourself. And if that path includes moving to an ABDL mecca, then hell yes!!
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