#that being said i do understand the appeal
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anyway
1) while it definitely happens, you have to remember it's going to be really fucking rare for a woman to only back out of sex upon realizing her partner is trans/male & has a penis, because the majority of people are able to adequately identify sex based on visible physical characteristics. males are not so easily indistinguishable from females as you might like to think, and relying on the hypothetical of one fully successfully passing as female does a disservice to the honesty of the discussion. however, if a woman would have retracted consent to sex upon learning this information, and her male sexual partner did not provide it willingly from the start, this would have been attempted rape by deception. the same way any purposefully withheld information that affects consent is rape by deception.
2) people with penises (males) are responsible for the vast majority of all violent crimes, including murder, abduction, sexual abuse and rape. conclude whether that violence is "inherent" or not on your own time
3) accusing a woman of being "transmisogynistic" for having a fucking trauma response to rape is an absolutely ghoulish move. is having your identity invalidated and being refused sex really more important to you than the fact that womens' trauma is so severe that they frequently develop a severe traumatic aversion to men and penises? (this is a rhetorical question. I already know it is.)
4) trauma responses aside, "lesbian" is a term for a woman who is same-sex attracted. meaning she is only attracted to female people. who have vaginas. if a gay man didn't want to have sex with a woman because she was female + had a vagina that would be perfectly understandable. because he's gay. and is only attracted to males. sexual attraction is not based on the "grossness" or inverse "appeal" of individual people's sexual organs and pretending that it is makes you sound absolutely obtuse and like you have an understanding of homosexuality equivalent to someone who has lived under a rock their entire life and never interacted with a singular gay person ever
5) if a woman is attracted to women but consensually has sex with men who she is also attracted to, that woman is bisexual, not a lesbian. lesbian sex does not involve penises.
furthermore, people have been trying to correctively rape and pressure/force lesbians to have sex with people with penises for the entirety of their historical existence. you may realize, you sound exactly like those people.
6) no one cares that trans women sometimes have non-penetrative sex. so do gay men. so do lesbians. that doesn't mean they have to have sex with a male/someone with a penis. attraction is not defined by specific sexual acts.
7) if you know that your desired woman partner wouldn't have sex with you if they knew you were trans/male/had a penis, but you still pursue her without providing this information to her, then yes. you are trying to trick her into having sex with you, and attempting rape by deception. this is an extremely streamlined logical conclusion for anyone to come to. it's alarming and honestly unnerving that you seem to be struggling with it so much
(also just in case it needs to be said: neovaginas are not vaginas do not make you female and many women with trans partners admit to being repulsed by them. sorry if this hurts your feelings)
non-transfem lesbians are always trying to tell me why it's actually fine for them to have genital preference but for some reason I never hear any of them saying "I would be so grossed out if I had to fuck a vagina"
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1k followers celebration event — ⌞⌗ xdh drabble⌝
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𓂃⠀𓈒 hyeongjun x fem!reader
genre: smut ( 18+ ) wc: 0.8
request: “people who’re just friends don’t do shit like this, and you know it”
contains: sub!reader, oral sex (f!rec), overstimulation (f!rec), oral fixation, multiple orgasms (f!rec), dirty talk, pet names, temperature play (ice), hair pulling (m!rec), inspired by this post of mine
[ event masterlist | xdinary heroes masterlist ]
Neither of you thought that the night was going to continue like this.
At your place, just the two of you. Bodies pressing into one another with desire to feel the other’s warm skin, because as it turns out, that’s what both of you have been secretly craving ever since you got introduced to each other.
Not even a minute has passed since you said goodbye to your friends and Hyeongjun was already settled between your legs, groaning against your heat - there was a feeling of relief that overflowed his chest from finally being able to taste you. It felt good and he expressed his satisfaction by little moans which made you tingle and bite your lips.
They still do, because he keeps going…
“Fuck, I love it!” Hyeongjun gazes down at your cunt after spitting what he just slurped from your arousal. “Your pussy is so fuckin' sweet, baby, I just can't stop.” He runs his tongue along his shiny lips, pushing two of his slim fingers through your walls; they're warm and soaked from the orgasms that already passed through your body. “Close?”
“Shit—“ you squirm once he leans down to attach the tip of his tongue onto your sensitive clit; his eyes are hazy from the rush when they shoot you a look of anticipation. “Yeah, really close, please don’t tease!” Your hand hurries to grip on his hair. “So fuckin’ close—“
Your hips buck up and Hyeongjun instantly gets the message - his both hands grasp your thighs so he can focus on using his entire mouth again without interruptions.
“Fuckfuckfuck! I’m gonna—“
As the familiar wave of intense pleasure washes over you, Hyeongjun strengthens his grip, though he wouldn’t mind having your thighs close around him and keeping him there - face pressed against your slick folds as his mouth memorises your flavour till he has trouble breathing.
His warm panting fades away once he lifts up, smacking your hip with a perky grin on his face. Not in an obnoxious way, but more so in a delightful one, showing how much he’s genuinely enjoying understanding your body.
“I want to help you out now.” Observing the evident tent in his pants you deliberately run your hand along his leg.
You watch him suck on his fingers, cleaning them up from your essence, then pick up his drink from the floor to take a sip.
“Such an angel,” he chuckles silently before taking out the ice cube from his glass and placing it into his mouth.
Your own mouth waters at the idea of feeling some different parts of his body other than his lips. Especially when he removes his hoodie and throws it away, murmuring about being hot.
You get to brush your fingertips against his lower abdomen, then along the appealing shape of his boner that’s still trapped by his pants.
“You’ll have your turn, don’t worry about it,” he snickers softly after noticing your dreamy gaze fixated upon his lower half.
“I want my turn now,” you state almost in a whisper; a short moment before squealing at a sudden cold thrill.
You did see Hyeongjun directing the ice cube he was sucking on towards your pussy, but still... you did not expect it to be that cold.
“Aren’t you sweating?” He teases amused, immediately preventing you from crossing your legs.
“Yeah, but that’s too cold!” Your whining gradually turns into flustered laughter as he rubs the melting ice all over your puffy lips. He glides it into different directions before lightly pressing it onto your clit. “Holy fuck!”
“Relax, it’s gonna feel good,” he now invites his freezing fingers inside you; pleasant warmth immediately envelops them as he twirls them around, “stop whining and easen up your pussy for me, baby.”
Shuddering, you try to loosen up as much as you can, then shut your eyes, feeling his familiar tongue licking up your intimate lips as they drip with water.
Though you’re extra sensitive to his touch, you cannot ignore how his wet kisses grow a new type of sensation; one you can get used to.
“Hyeongjun, I—“
“You’re fine,” he whispers in a low, huskier voice as he notices how your highly stimulated body twitches. “I’m gonna shove it into your pretty cunt now.”
“What?” Your jaw drops.
“Oh, come on,” Hyeongjun’s slick lips curl mischievously, “be a good friend, let me slip it inside.”
“A good friend?” You look down at him with a raised brow.
“Yeah, isn't that what we are?” There’s a dark spark in his eye as his erotic tone drawns out the question. “Just two really good friends that know how to have fun.”
“People who are just friends don’t do shit like this and you know it.” You reply, drawning out the question the same way he did.
But instead of commenting, Hyeongjun looks away, pushing the cube through your entrance and causing you to yelp. He dives back into your pussy, controlling his tongue with an unfading appetite and commitment as the ice melts in the scorching heat of your walls.
! please do not repost, copy or translate my works
! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise for any mistakes i’ve might missed
#— writing: xdinary heroes#dinna’s 1k followers celebration#xdinary heroes smut#junhan smut#han hyeongjun smut#hyeongjun x reader#junhan x reader#xdinary heroes x reader#xdh x reader
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Mitsukou Analysis: Red House Arc
Okay. God, I was not excited for this arc…
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*motivational (platonic) KouNene*
Honestly, when I first read this scene I was quite surprised.
Isn’t it sort of odd Kou isn’t super affected by Mitsuba or even Hanako’s disappearance?
Yashiro became a veritable shell of herself, and Akane fell into depression, so to have Kou as his usual smiling self was quite shocking to see.
Woah, woah, can… can we back up a bit Kou? That’s twice now you’ve shown signs of contemplation of killing yourself for your ghost boy friend. (In my opinion, it should be ghost boyfriend, but ya know.)
Wow, so he’s actually considering this. I assumed Kou knew he probably couldn’t die back in the picture perfect world, since it’s supposed to be picture perfect, but he’s genuinely thinking about it.
So. At this point in time, Kou doesn’t know “whether the old Mitsuba is really gone.”
Well, Kou, for better or for worse that’s about to change. Which brings us to the next point of interest:
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Right here. Kou has realized, for the first time in (Hanako or Tsukasa’s, I can��t remember) words, “the Mitsuba Sousuke that lived and died in this world is not here anymore.”
I think some subconscious part of Kou’s brain really believed Sousuke was still out there somewhere, and because he only met him very briefly as a human, and still quite shortly as a ghost, he never really processed the fact Sousuke had family that cared about him.
This is divulging into more theory territory than analysis, but why did Sousuke have a picture of the Red House?
His connections with it are nonexistent, and even No. 3 doesn’t know it exists, and is only associated with it because of his relationship with Amane Yugi/Hanako.
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This is mostly just context for what’s about to happen next. Aidairo has made it crystal clear the house appeals to your desires.
Ah yes, so of course Mitsuba shows up immediately afterwards, almost as if Aidairo are implying when you say “think of your greatest desires,” Kou’s brain immediately thinks of Mitsuba.
Another interesting thing about these panels, and also the main reason I added it is that this is the first time we’ve seen Kou’s desire to be needed, and be needed specifically by Mitsuba.
“I can’t go on without you Minamoto-Kun. You’re all I have.”
This is saying Kou wants Mitsuba to rely on him and only him, a fact that was already well-established, but confirmation is always nice.
Perhaps this is pulling from Kou’s desires of Hanako being “a run of the mill evil spirit” so he would be easy to exorcise.
However, I believe this is more pulling from Kou’s… suicidal tendencies, and wanting to be with Mitsuba on the other shore.
It might actually be a combo of both.
Actually, this got me thinking for a while. Do Kou and Mitsuba trust each other? Kou certainly doesn’t think so, but do we have examples of them showing mutual trust?
Welp, guys, thats another ding on the “are they a healthy relationship” perspective.
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“You know you wanted me to say that.”
My sleep deprived brain cannot even begin to pick out why the hell Mitsuba would say that, but let’s try.
I have a vague feeling it’s because Kou wants Mitsuba to know that he wishes for Mitsuba to know he needs him to need Kou… but why?
Like I said, I am on not a lot of sleep and a lot of caffeine, so I can’t really say. I might come back later with new ideas, but for now this is what you get. (Sorry!)
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Kou wants closure from Mitsuba’s death, which is understandable. However, Kou, you might wanna organize your priorities, because a solution for Yashiro’s lifespan isn’t even present, while Mitsuba comes up twice?
*ahem ahem*
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
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Wow. Real smooth Aidairo. Stopping Kou right before we get an answer as to why Mitsuba (both!) is there, while not being an actual desire.
Yes, I updated my oneshot book- all entries below <3
#jshk#toilet bound hanako kun#mitsukou#tbhk#tbhk manga#kou minamoto#jibaku shounen hanako kun#but why though#mitsuba sousuke#jibaku shonen hanako kun#jshk manga#kou minamoto x mitsuba sousuke
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I have noticed that you draw Luke a little…different than most of the dinluke fandom 😅 Is there a particular reason?
Maybe I'm the greatest freak out there and that’s why I'm in disharmony ? Mostly I work with the impression that I get of his character in the Mandalorian, movies and books (except for my crack comics, that is OOC, its crack guys) I think the dinluke fandom clearly prefers his new hope personality than his mandalorian personality but pairing him off with Din in the former gives me serious DiCaprio vibes so I'm just like naaah. I'm also fascinated by his metamorphosis from new hope to the character that he is in the mandalorian because that's HUGE change, and to let him remain static doesn't seem appealing to me personally.
Now Luke was always supposed to be a different kind of hero. One that valued kindness and compassion before violence, a different way to represent masculinity that the typical macho of the 70's (And not in everything because he did A LOT of contradicting shit in the movies) but it seems like the dinluke fandom took those exact traits to say yes, indeed, having those traits instead of the ones like, say, Din Djarin (one that fits these within those traits better) makes you less of a man, less of a hero and thats why his representation in the fandom is mostly, well, of a person that cannot take care of himself much less of other people, among other things.
Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into this and it's just a byproduct of Pedro Pascal being a very attractive man and the author's or fanartist's desperate need to bend Luke's personality to make him more relatable to the author's own so that it can fit the fantasy better. Makes sense I mean wiseass cosmic wizard is not exactly relatable. But I want to believe this is not true because it saddens me deeply the implication that to make someone relatable to oneself is to take away their drive, their powers, their self esteem and capabilities and in turn, to elevate their love interest (Din djarin) so that he's powerful, a king, rich and sexual driven.
Or maybe like I said I'm just full of shit and I'm the freak that can't see the bigger picture. Maybe I'm the fackin Jacqes Audiard from Emilia Perez!! Please understand that I'm stating my opinion and reasoning because I'm being specifically ASKED about it. Mostly I just sit down silently and do mediocre drawings, that's my specialty. Also I'm no social knight I believe in freedom of speech and that everybody is free to write and draw whatever they want, even if controversial or whatever (including criticism and satire).
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Omg angel have you watched Arcane???
YES I HAVE I HAVE I RECENTLY FINISHED IT LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO???? TELL ME UR THOUGHTS FEELINGS EMOTIONS IVE NOTICED IT TAKING OVER MY TWT IN RECENT MONTHS AND HAD TO JUMP IN!!
#urusai! baka#i feel like i have so (maybe??) lukewarm takes and then some cold ones tjat evedyone agrees wigh#the lukewarm one being that i preferred s1 to s2 and i didnt like jinx that much at the end as much as id hoped#the cold take being that silco is meowmeow and i adoee vi w all my heart#also cultleader viktor >>>>>#yummy uummy#wait is that spoilerish SORRY GUYS#oh my lukewarm take also is i dont like jayce but no real strong emotions#like just a general meh and distaste#that being said i do understand the appeal#oh another lukewarm take being i actually rly loved heimerdinger#even tho i know a lot of actual league gamers hate his lil cabbage patch ass HAHAHA#but hes so squishy to me and i just ADOREE HIM SO CUTE#actually idk if these takes r lukewarm at all#my only discussions hve been with irls and i assume the fandom mignt have slight differences from irl average enjoyers#of the media#so pls yes yap to me id love to know what the fandom space feels#what U feel#<3333#arcane#beep bloop new tag haha
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i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?
#the last part is a joke but i do not see a whole lot of recognition of the s4 being. the s4#like yeah they were cool formidable foes in the s1 era and skull even beat goggles despite his plot armor#but now theyre just#there??#dont get me wrong i love their existence but#it feels like theyve been watered down at least a bit#skull is always just getting lost and army is almost always either the manual guy or the curry guy#thats. thats it thats their bits#skull also has the sweets thing#rider is sometimes a considerable foe too but at the same time the s4 doesnt usually consist of him so im not sure how much to count him#that being said it is a kids manga so i dont really expect it to lean too far into the formidable foes thing#even the xblood werent that scary in the long run and ended up goofy despite being who they were#i also get it in terms of fandom#i understand the appeal of something like aloha being cutesy dumb pink guy (who maaaaaaybe commited some crimes and it shows)#i also definitely understand the appeal of army having a thing for curry as well as the manuals#the manuals can be an endearing thing to write about trust me#but i also wouldnt mind seeing more things that center around the likes of the s4 and the xblood and even the best8 being the absolute best#of the best during their prime#reminder that s+ was the highest rank around when the s4 were introduced. same with the xblood#they were the strongest players and id like to see things that center around that#id like to imagine that moving on to the square and splatsville that the s4 would have had a chance to move uo and get into xbattles#i think of all of them skull and army would have the highest chances of actually making it to xrank and being successful#but honestly if mask and aloha could probably make it pretty well too if they got off their asses#and i think rider would excel as well being rider#he has his own kind of near plot armour i think#so do most of the big teams in my opinion#theyre the sort of doomed by the plot that forces them to battle goggles at some point lmao#maybe i could use this in a fic or au one day#maybe someone already has...#(please send to me if you know of any creators who have played around with these vague ideas of strength i wanna see em)
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the last few years have been a nice detour* but i think it's time to get back to being cringe
*: not that i wasn't cringe recently just that i need to crank it up and lose followers also
#as in become shameless and earnest as soon as possible#and i've been thinking about this recently with the release of clancy and with me going cuckoo and with me having watched an interview wher#tyler said something after being asked about negative responses (this was after the mtv movie awards i think).. what he said is he doesn't#understand how anyone could listen to a song that someone honestly wrote and say it's bad. and it hit me in that moment‚ the contrast‚#like when i come across a man who loves animals. because‚ i grew up with a man around‚ always around‚ who criticizes everything incessantly#everything. all the time. and doesn't know what it's like to love an animal and take care of it btw. he judges everything and never#makes anything. so maybe that's why i liked them so much‚ as individuals but as musicians too. and tyler as a songwriter. and let's say it.#let's say it. and the clique. and before that i liked vocaloid and etc etc i've been thinking that to me there is a real appeal to things#that many would describe as weird or unconventional or annoying.. i will find the beauty and the authenticity at the heart of it (if there#is some) and i may even cherish it.#and i like soft things too. i like disgust and fear and being shaken up by art and it's been a huge turning point to recognize all that#but god do i need a different dimensions sometimes. like let's be on a different axis let's move sideways#+ let me like something just because#that's what i mean by cringe ig! i am who i am and sometimes i find new ways to be uncool or get back to the old ways#and it's fine#kata.txt
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Wait waitwaitwait I just saw something on Pinterest hold on
Was Snufkin deadass not aware he had parents??? Until Moominpappa was telling him about them??? Did he think he just spawned one day what
#the fuck do you mean he didn’t remember his parents??????#how long has he been on his own??????????#i understand that kids simply won’t think to question things they know but like KID. YOU HAD TO COME FROM SOMEWHERE.#moomins#snufkin#the exploits of moominpappa#i am back to being interested in moomins again so im going to finish watching the 90s series#and then i think ill watch the 2019 one and try to find some of the books#maybe ill be able to find the comics too#the real kicker is trying to get my sibling into it#bc i got them into tma easy enough all i had to do was show them fanart of jon being a sad tortured wet cat being kidnapped all the time#but the last time they saw me watching moomins they said he looked scary (baseless accusation?????)#and its not like moomin or snufkin are particularly tortured sad individuals#so i gotta find a new way to appeal to them despite how ‘scary’ moomin looks
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I've started watching the orginal Star Wars Trilogy for the very first time with my mom
We watched A New Hope on Wednesday, and today we just finished The Empire Strikes Back
My thoughts so far can be summed up as the following in no particular order:
C-3P0 is hilarious
The special effects truly are impressive for a product of its time
The planet and creature design are cool
Luke why
#star wars#if any fans are interested in anything specific from me by all means your welcom to ask#but otherwise#I understand the appeal thus far#the effects really are something else#I think if not for the story#the movies so far are fun to watch just for the world-building alone#I've been enjoying seeing the different aliens and environments per planet#and of course the action scenes are good as well#that being said#Luke and Leia surprised me I think as characters#they're a lot more interesting then I was expecting#and R2D2 and C-3P0 as duo#I love the banter#I love C-3P0 my man is just trying to do his job#give him a break#R2 is funnier than I expected and his dynamic with luke is great#NOT TO MENTION HAN AND CHEWIE#they're buddies your honor#aster talks
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Need u to know the yumetron2000 tweet has become a new hit term among me and oomf who recently got into mhyk and is a rutile fan
am i wrong tho
#i might make fun of him a lot but i do like figs and i also like figaaki. Good on him for being yumetron 2000 tbh. He deserves to get loved-#for once. However i am tired of how much figaro overshadows the rest of south...#I actually think in some interview bunta said that they added oz to central and fi to south so that south and central don't...flop basicall#Because they (very correctly) predicted northerners would be the most popular group of people#Humanity yearns for suffering smh#No one understands the wholesome appeal of south and central 😤#I love the way someone else roped me into mhyk and i roped like 3 or 4 people into mhyk and now you are roping someone into it#This shit spreads like a zombie virus it's so funny#made a post about this recently but i love the way mhykers have 0 cringe instincts only dragging everyone else into wizard hell instincts#anyways i am glad you and your oomf are absorbing the ways in which i lovingly make fun of figs
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This election was decided by a Democratic candidate that refused to campaign on anything but "I'll do as little as possible to change anything" to an overwhelmingly dissatisfied population. You can blame every individual voter who didn't do what you wanted them to, or you can blame one actor we all knew was doing it wrong, who was yelled at for months that they were doing it wrong, and did it anyway. Are we really going to blame the political actors and system that created this situation or a public whose voice is repressed at every opportunity? Be serious
#not really interested in election posting but this needs to be said#i find it difficult to blame people for not showing up for a candidate that openly sucked#personally#The Kamala Harris campaign did practically everything they could to repel anyone with convictions#even without convictions lol who seem to have been a bigger factor lmao.cause why would anyone turn out for someone who is promising nothin#and I'm supposed to blame voters for not turning out for them anyway? come on#if you feel some frustration for people you know who didn't vote i can understand that. but as an actual analysis of the situation this is#ridiculous. and you guys are setting yourselves up to fall for it all over again#also on this people without convictions thing. i think people who just don't feel like they have personal stake and flip a coin and#vote Trump about it are morons. for the record#but it needs to be said that apathy and conservativism and all of these things aren't in-born traits#I've seen a lot of people saying this is an issue of Americans just being too right wing and like. kind of#kind of yes#but when this is an argument against pushing leftist positions because of the assumption those people won't like them#i think that's really foolish#and it's useless#you don't have to have any respect for 'moderates' or conservatives or any of them#but no one is going to change their minds if no one is giving them a reason to#I'm so rambling now i like barely remember my original point lol#but people like leftist policy a lot of the time when it's given to them. even if they don't group themselves as remotely leftist#i think it's useless and like dare i say doomerist to just concede that huge portions of the population are innately what? evil?#and that there's nothing to do for that but appeal to that evil or give up and die. useless!!!!!!!#i don't expect anything like this from Dems but when people are talking abstractly about what could hypothetically work and what couldn't#idk idk
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#military surplus store trip 2 days ago#I got a very pink cowboy hat despite questioning everything about how I present myself. it was Calling to me#multiple people loved it and when I got home and put it on my 3 yo sister stopped in her tracks and said 'wow... you're soo pretty'#that has never happened before#so I Guess the pink cowboy hat will be a Special Fashion Thing#despite the little existential crisis it gives me every time I think about being a pink cowboy hat girl#which is a bit ridiculous but there you go.#I was so secretly dedicated to looking either vaguely emo (<333) or cuttingly defensively professional for a long time#that the idea of being COWBOY-aligned (CONSERVATIVE IDOLS UGH) and not only that but PINK (feminine??? >:O) really did not appeal#but it looks GOOD on me and... sigh. I don't have to make people know my personality by my clothes. I can just wear what I WANT to#and I really do LIKE the pink cowboy hat!! it's silly and awesome and goes clink and it's a COWBOY HAT man!!!#I get to be BOTH pink cowboy AND every other thing I am. I can still be CoolTM. I can still be completely myself.#those who love me will understand me. those who don't... don't have to understand me.#goodness gracious that was a lot of soul-searching over a HAT#I also got very very tough Army jungle combat boots#I am expecting them last well >:D and they make me feel SO POWERFUL#Robin processes emotions on main#I Guess XD#I only meant to tell y'all about my cool new items I swear
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my favorite hobby is being attracted to people’s ocs that they have disdain for
#what can i say#when i said i like men with problems and yall are surprised when i do 🤪🤪🤪#jkjk but also it’s very funny to me#i don’t think i have an oc that i would be like dear god why if someone was attracted to them#tagetes perhaps—but i see the appeal if you love being degraded ig 💀#and i don’t think n e one is attracted to that bastard pff#ik when i do tcol more people will probably think madja is hot#but i would also Understand Why#i like to think i’m open minded#and or#i don’t make ocs that i think are genuinely unfuckable ig#💀💀💀#talking#don’t mind me just thOts#also @ astro not that you have disdain for shadow but it’s funny all the same
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am i allowed to be suicidal on main. or do i have to be silly cute girl. is that the only time im bearable to others
#i take back anything i said earlier#it all just hurts so much i feel like i can’t even breathe anymore#im so tired of it#it always comes back to this. i’m always reminded that#no matter what happens it always comes back to me being miserable#no one will ever care about me no one will ever love me im not appealing to a single person on this planet#platonically or romantically or anything else. i don’t matter i just fucking don’t#always in pain no one ever cares it’s always my own fault i don’t know how to move past it#like. it just has to end soon. i can’t do it#i can’t#i don’t understand why no matter what no matter how hard i try#im never important nothing i do ever matters no one cares#im never going to be happy im just not allowed and i don’t understand why#i don’t know what i did whatever i did im sorry i don’t know i just don’t want to be in pain forever#i don’t even ask for much. i just want to be happy. why why am i always being punished i don’t understand#i don’t know what to do anymore it’s all so heavy and it all hurts so much came i truly don’t think i can endure much longer#there is no end in sight. it doesn’t get better. i have to be like this i don’t understand why#sorry. just fucking ignore me everyone always does#hopefully i’ll be dead soon anyways and none of this will ever even matter anymore#i won’t have to hurt anymore. it’s the only way out i have no other options#i can’t do it i can’t i can’t#sorry i’m sorry i don’t know#maybe ill delete this idk i don’t know i just am in so much pain and j don’t know what to do anymore
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shining solo ep 8. my reaction rn 😐😐 took it a bit hard lmao
#tp#very mixed feelings. as someone who associates herself with jeongwoo and having very similar personalities... this ep hurt a lot#idk idk#i mean i get it but i also absolutely do not get it#so many thoughts im taking this very personally what the heck#i cant really warm up to half of this part's girlies im sorry#i loved everyone on part one#as someone who also struggles with managing my social energy lvls... this was a slap in the face#bc my boy jeongwoo truly gave it his ALL the whole day and even managed to perform a couple songs for the girls#despite already having spent the whole day together#and his energy must have been SPENT already and then they pick him as MVP of the day and he has that 1:5 date with all of the girls#by himself!! which is so terrifying imagine being the one person who everyone's attention is on and you have to interact with these ppl#that you arent very comfortable with but you still try your best to give them a good time#AND THEN!! they give you NOTHING in return?? not even a recorder?? no jewel no recording nothing. just ignored like that by everyone#and i get that the girls dont know who's voting for who so they might have believed someone else was gonna give him a jewel or sth#but no one gives him anything (positive OR negative)#and yeah. he was absolutely shocked at the empty safe. i would have been too.#and why did they not give him a jewel y'all might ask??? IT WAS BC HE FELL SILENT DURING THE LAST BIT: THE DINNER#my gosh that's the part that i take offense to personally bc it's really really really difficult to always engage in convos with ppl#after spending the whole day with them already?? and your social battery is down so you quietly enjoy a simple meal??#and then all the girlies threw him away like that??#i mean yeah you're surrounded by sweet men who spend the day appealing themselves to you but come on??#i would have been so impressed by jeongwoo and thankful that he put that much effort in and would understand how difficult it is to#maintain it till the very end because not everyone has hyunsuk's boundless social energy#no offense hyunsuk i love you dearly#and also??? what's up with admitting that you lack some confidence upfront??#the girl's reasoning for giving yoshi the voice recorder was that he said he holds himself to a high standard and lacks confidence sometimes#and i get it. being confident is more attractive than someone who's always insecure and puts themselves down#(and makes the other person uncomfortable) but they were having an honest and deep convo when the thing he said in that convo was used#against him in the end? i would feel kind of betrayed too bc being able to admit that you feel insecure sometimes is a v brave thing to do!!
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So im watching this playlist of a bunch of youtubers reviewing the last decade of goodreads awards winner by genre because i love people rightfully shitting on goodreads but like? One of the ones i watched was romance because yeah obviously and the woman who reviewed was like really into the romance genre and im geniunely not trying to be a cunt but i dont understand how someone can be geniunely into the romance genre like!!!! You like books where nothing fucking happens? And a lot of her criticisms were like there wasnt enough romance because it was just a subplot or there was too much stuff from other genres and like.....yeah? You have to like you cant carry an entire book on one relationship like sure thats an opinion because i literally dont understand romance books but like????? Like idk im not trying to be a cunt but like WHAT is appealing about a pure romance book???
#Like obviously im influenced by being a lesbian and LOL LMAO AS IF THATS GONNA FUCKING SELL IN MAINSTREAM ROMANCE a genre dominated by#Cishet women like of course of the 10 books 8 were straight relationships and 2 were mlm gay relationships because cishet women hate wlw#But like even if wlw romance books were everywhere im still like....how can you enjoy something thats just so ...nothing!!! How do you#Enjoy the literary equivalent of your friend talking about their new annoying boyfriend nonstop#Like even if i think about the lesbian relationships in media i enjoy its not in romance books like#I like sarah waters books because theyre historical thrillers not because its just a lesbian relationship existing and then i wait 8 books#For them to fuck like#Like maybe tipping the velvet is the closet waters got to a romance book but theres so much more explored in it like i dont understand the#Appeal of ....just romance like that shit is usually a subplot for a reason!!!!!!#Idk why i wrote all of this but well idk i just...dont understand romance like#ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS REVIEWER had to read 3 coho books and was like??? For it ends with us she said it wasnt a romance book because it#Romance books require a happy ending???????? Like huh????? What is coho if not the worlds worst romance author who is occasionally the#Worlds wost thriller/romance writer???#Like if one of your constraints for the genre is a happy ending like what the fuck thats so restrictive for no reason??? Why would you read#It if you know wow this couple? Who the whole book is about only? Gets together and HAS to be happily ever aftered or else its...suddenly#Not a romance book?????#Like huh?????????????????
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