#that although it does not make me a good or bad person and it doesnt make my life somehow so much better to be thin

[mostlikelyshutup]

the worst part about being a fat woman with an eating disorder is that if you offered a chance for me to be thin, i know i would take it in a second, and i also know that it comes both from a place of insecurity and ed thinking but also very real oppression as a fat woman

[kethabali]

i dont even know how to feel my own emotions thanks to my parents

[eternalera]

I'm making an analysis of this scene because fuck it, it means sm to me

so basically the scene im talking about is the one above and why (because fuck you l like adam and lute) it means so much to me

first off when do we actually see adam smile and im not talking about when he's being an asshole to charlie or making some unfunny sex joke. I'm talking about when he looks genuine.

Like he looks actually happy, not entertained but happy because thats what it is with charlie. He's smiling because he's entertained with her reactions and how pissed he's making her.

Whenever we see him smile it has this almost evil feel to it (whether that be with the teeth in the mask that he wears or not although it probably is... i'll get to that later). It feels like he's meant to be the villain. He's meant to be someone you're meant to hate. So why in this scene does it make you feel bad for him and lute? (almost depending on the person cause yes i know some of you jumped up with joy at this, i aint judging)

it makes you feel bad because there's something human in this scene whether we like it or not. that also comes with the removal of their masks. we've never seen adam without his mask so him losing it in this scene provides us with the sense that 'hey hes still human' he's not some eldritch being sent from hell/heaven. he's a guy.

this also comes with the removal of lutes mask. we see her genuine emotion. we actually see her being to cry something that honestly seems almost out of character for her seeing as she's pretty much that one character whos like 'fuck it lets power through this'

this also is similar to adam smiling cause it shows you that in the end he wasn't a total asshole.

but back to the masks. the masks make them have pretty sharp looking teeth which is something that we associate with sharks or some sort of predator. yet removing the teeth (actually adam doesnt even smile with his teeth) you suddenly get a lot more of a human feeling

they dont feel like a villain anymore (even though thats what they are) they feel like a person. it doesnt make him feel like a threat anymore so you have an actual ability to feel bad for him.

but moving on (i ramble a lot so this may not stay on track but its fine :D ).

our last scene of adam in this entire show (im pretty sure like yknow... direct scene) is him smiling. him showing genuine human emotion. because whether or not you guys wanna admit it adam was the first human, and he does have feelings that pertain to humans. so why have this be our last view of him? of him being quite literally beaten down.

well personally i feel like this is because the show wants us to see him as lute sees him. she saw him (as from what ive gathered) as a genuine friend. she actually liked his company and liked hanging around him.

so this pushes her idea and avenging adam or getting revenge for his death. if we didnt have this scene her just getting upset at lilith and taking charge randomly and getting just randomly mad at the hotel would be kinda... eh.

like it wouldnt make for that good of a story.

but with our last moments of adam being him smiling at lute it shows us basically something else. that he cared, for what? we dont really know but he cared for something because its clear that the extermination failed and adams dying. hes fucking dying something he seemed so upset over two seconds ago screaming and shouting how he shouldnt die or whatever

so its most likely that he cared for lute making this scene all the much sadder. besides its the only thing we can assume seeing that lute was the last thing that he saw before passing on.

also ive seen theories that make a lot of sense with lute being the only one who stuck it out with adam till the end. lilith left him, eve was created from his fucking rib and yet she most likely left him. so he probably died pretty damn along the first time around

so lute being there for him and showing that she cared for him and that she still cares for him probably meant a lot. most likely because she stuck around until his death, she stuck around till the end which once again, he died alone the first time and dying with someone with you the second probably means a lot

anywaysssss yeah thats it byeeee

[wuucchoo]

Understanding Tsumiki and Megumi's relationship

Hey there! It's me, Megumi's defense attorney - here once more to defend my boy.

I've been seeing A LOT of people saying they cannot sympathize with Megumi's grief because they don't know Tsumiki that well. And although I would argue that you don't need to know the person who died for you to sympathize with the one who was left behind - I do understand what these people mean, i don't agree with them! But I understand why they think this. And yes, we dont know Tsumiki.

However, we first need to understand why gege chose to present Tsumiki this way. On a surface level, she can only be seen as 'the thing that would cause Megumi's downfall' - we dont know her thoughts, her ambitions, her real personality, anything really - except for what Megumi says about her. A 'textbook good person'.

And that's because she is a character that we were only able to see through someone else's eyes. We don't know Tsumiki, because Megumi doesn't know Tsumiki.

BUT WAIT!! What do I mean by that?

Before that though, I would like to say first! This doesn't mean that Megumi's love for her is diminished by this. Just because he doesn't know her doesn't mean he doesn't love her. Megumi cares about her more than anyone in his life, and that's a fact!

Now we can proceed! What does this mean? Let's look at this page from ch 56: origin of obedience:

This was a case that they have been investigating, and it is pretty damn close to Megumi's and Tsumiki's old school. And yet, the thought that Tsumiki might have went to the bridge with her classmates never crossed his mind. He doesnt know that Tsumiki is someone capable of breaking the rules, going against curfew, and joining her friends to go to a haunted bridge in the dead of night. This boy Megumi thinks his sister is a damn saint.

He put Tsumiki on a pedestal, and it resulted in her turning into nothing but the mold of a good person Megumi uses to judge other people. If a person is not Tsumiki-shaped, then they're not worth saving. ((Luckily for Yuuji, he IS Tsumiki-shaped lmao. But anyway!))

Truth be told, I used to think it sucks that we never knew Tsumiki outside of what Megumi says. I never felt bad when she died, I felt bad that Megumi's sister died. I felt bad FOR Megumi.

And now that I actually think on it, THAT was the exact point. We dont NEED to know Tsumiki, we only needed to see her through Megumi's eyes - and through that, understand that Megumi doesn't really know her that well.

It is something that Megumi have to mull over. Why did he keep Tsumiki at an arm's length despite how much he cares for her? Why is it so hard for him to let people in? Why is asking someone for help so difficult for him?

ITS BECAUSE OF THAT MFKER TOJI!!!! IM TELLING YA'LL!! /hj

Look at the face he was making in Toji's memory. That's a kid who shows his emotions outright. My boy is pouting (つ╥﹏╥)つ. But when Gojo met him, Megumi has become a total idgafker (at least on the outside). And thats not only because Gojo was a stranger - coz thats how he looks like when he talks to Tsumiki too. It's because he became that way when Toji left.

Anyway, my point is, due to Megumi's abandonment issues - he never let anyone in. EVER. Not even Tsumiki. Megumi put a wall between him and other people - for his own protection. The one who came a little bit close into breaking that wall is Yuuji (and we are yet to see how that goes).

And this is why, we as the readers are all detached from Tsumiki's character. Because we saw her through Megumi's eyes, who loves her and cares about her very, very much - yet despite that he never let her get too close. (っ- ‸ - ς)

If you read up to here, whats up! Thank you for reading! Feel free to counter it or anything, Im happy to discuss!

((also something to add: Megumi cares so much about Tsumiki because she's the first one who actively chose to stay - amidst all the people who left.

this was inspired by a great megumi character analysis i found on twitter:

read it if you have time! its really good!

[whole-circus]

Can you do when the Proxies, Eyeless Jack, and Slenderman, find out the reader has a extra appendage like a tail? Although the reader doesn't hide it they just use it like a belt but rarely use it?? (How has your day been? Also please make sure to not stress yourself)

Creepypastas with reader that has a tail!

➥ with "Ticci" Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman

Hi love!!! Thank you and remember to take care about yourself too!!<3 Im going a bit insane in my room lol But I hope you felt at least okay!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

"Ticci" Toby

Toby finds you so cool! He wouldnt really notice at first that its actual tail, but how long he can stay clueless? When he finally gets it, he is so excited i swear. You almost make him wish that he had tail instead, but he cant complain since his partner have it! Toby will beg you to touch it and play with it, he is way happier about the tail than you (and you literally live with this things.. with tail, not toby). Loves to lay down with you and cuddle, your tail wrapped around his hand/ leg/just anything. Loves playing with it when he needs to keep his hands busy. Toby would be also respectful if you dont like having your tail touched becasue i can only imagine how sensitive it is, just say the word and he will act like it doesnt even exist congrats, now he will play with your hand!

Masky

Honestly wouldnt make a big deal out of it? Masky is a simple man, and i feel like he wouldnt even noticed at first if you wear it as belt, would just think that you have weird fashion sense but who he is to judge?? But then it turns out that its actual tail? You are person of many suprises, arent you? Listen, he would definitely calls you some of this cheesy petnames like kitten or puppy just becasue of your tail 💀..like please, punch him or something. Overall good boyfriend, will fight for you and stroke your tail??

Hoodie

Good luck with him! Hoodie wants to touch it a lot! Its not like there are a lot of chances in life to pet someone tail, huh? Who can blame him in such cruel condictions..? Even if you use it as a belt, he loves when you just..let it swing by itself! That way he has easier acces to it, and i mean it - boy is in heaven. He would definitely tease you so so much! Hoodie will anno and you can expect at least couple of funny comments about your tail daily (or at least he thinks they are funny). I see him wearing a fake tail just to mess with you to be honest. Hoodie isnt the worst person, you will definitely get a lot of attention from him! Is it good or bad? I will let you decide!

Eyeless Jack

Okay, Jack really enjoyes having "not-so-normal" partner (well, in term of being a human). He tends to be a bit insecure sometimes about what he is, so you make it all a bit easier to him to be honest. Doesnt feel as weird - and of course he doesnt want you to feel this way! He is pretty observant (and well, have amazing senses), so propably noticed it when you used it as a belt, no need to tell him twice! Absolutely loves to make you flustreted!! Will tease the shit out of you, i mean it. Definitely will like to caress it and play with it (pls he is a bit like a cat), later will chuckle in his husky tone when you are embarassed and tell him to stop

Slenderman

Slenderman wont say too much..well not like he is the most talkactive person! He is fascinated by people, loves observing them and to learn about their nature..does it really matter for what reasons? We will just move on with that.. Anyways, if you ask me, Slender as not-human-creature likes seeing how everyone is diffrent event tho he had seen already a lot! There is really tiny wall between his hate and fascination for humans. But dont worry, its you who we talk about! He will ask some questions, but in his subtle and gentlemanly way! It doesnt matter to him if you are a bit diffrent, becasue he sees it more as your advantage than disadvantage! Slenderman would be more into intelect than look anyway i think. Wont touch your tail tho..well maybe not without your consent, but he just doesnt really care, he has seen almost everything in his 'life'.

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚　

[oukabarsburgblr]

Hello! I am new, and wanted to ask 3 things for you:

1.) Is Daichi a type of yandere, and why is he obsessed with the reader?

2.) Are you maybe interested in writing JJK?

3.) Can I be 🎃 anon?

-🎃 Have nice day studying/whatever your busy doing, keep up the good work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Hello there and 3) yes u can be 🎃 anon, reminds me of that one game kubz scouts played for days on end. Pumpkin race? The one with the time that he tried to one up haha

1) to be honest, its been a while since i wrote that fanfiction and ever since then ive been focusing on my ocs so much hshsh. I do think daichi can be classified as a psychopath. A yandere? I wouldnt say he loves the reader (during his third year) and i could say for a fact even he acknowledges he doesnt harbor romantic feelings for the reader until much later (after the training camp shenanigan) however, he did harvest some type of attraction to the reader. An unhealthy one. Where the dynamic is between an object and an owner? Not a pet or a partner, but an object instead. Something he can switch on and off, mold into his liking and reader just so happened to be a perfect victim for it. Although he does grow to be fond of you, ever since how obedient you became. So many screaming nights passed in your house.

Now came the question of why? Why did he do all of this? Why did he instigate it the second the reader came into his view? I tried explaining it in the second part of the fic. Sugawara and Asahi would have treated reader like any other first year if it werent for Daichi. Maybe suga a bit sociopathic but daichi was the match that started the flame.

I think it came from the canon fact that Daichi was the rock of the team, their anchor, their foundation. I thought of him as someone youd look up to, youd rely on but there had to be days where he wasnt feeling himself right? Where he finds all of them a tad bit annoying, but that wouldnt be nice, they were his friends after all. And you came into the picture. On a bad day, where he just felt shitty and you suddenly came stumbling into the club, making a ruckus, curse words from your mouth scratching his eardrums and a thought slipped his mind where he found you so fucking annoying. However, it wouldnt be fair to thrust all that negative energy onto you so he did what he could, ignoring you until he could cool himself down. Maybe the day after he could find himself talking to you again. Wrong. He still finds you annoying and rude. Then there was this urge that came from deep within his stomach, this feral desire to grasp at you, clench at your face, pulling your skin back so you would behave- Too much blood so no can do. He still found you annoying though, hence, the snowball rolls where he decided to just change you. Sugawara and Asahi was a massive help, pinning you into the corner until he had you cumming around his finger.

If given the chance, where there would be no repurcussions, no trace of any evidence whatsoever, Daichi Sawamura would have murdered you, killing you in cold blood and burying your body deep within the mountains. A heavy burden would lift from his shoulders and he felt like the world would work his way again. But there was no solid plan for it so he never took the chance nor thought to.

Can you tell that Daichi is my favourite? Hahaha ive said this like three times now. I loveeeee him.

2) would i ever write jjk! One of my favourite readers have requested a satosugu x bottom male reader in my inboxes and i will consider but heres the thing.

I dont watch jjk😭

Well, i did, until i dropped it. I think it was at episode 20+ on season 1. I used to be a huge shounen person but now im a slice of life fan (although they can be quite boring sometimes) i guess im more into thrillers but in a normal setting? But i know jjk characters.

I used to have an obsession w sukuna haha. Ik maki, ik zenin naoya, ik todo aoi, like ik them and ik what happened to them (rip nanami) but idk i think i have to get hooked on really well for me to watch jjk so that i can write it. We'll see deffo! But i plan to watch chainsaw man first hshshs

[crushedsweets]

what is the relationship between Nina and Toby? and what’s Clocky’s reaction to it

OK SO. in Creeped(my au) "canon" they arent romantic or anything, the Ninatoby ship art i posted is just cuz i like the ship LOL ...

BUUUT in my AU, they are really close and have a pretty confusing, but mostly positive, friendship! Honestly a lot of this is me sorta just rambling off concepts about them in my AU but. What am i if not off topic. i wrote liek 35898 pages

to begin, Toby met Nina through Jeff. Jeff would be hanging around the area, arm around Nina, showing her off like she's some trophy. so toby didnt really think much of her at first, just one of jeffs chicks - not really her own person. He’d not think twice when jeff would tell her to get the guys a beer or tell her to fix her clothes or generally being shitty to her - until jeff raises his voice at Nina, then toby is more likely to Sit up and watch a bit more carefully cuz he doesnt know what to expect and hes not gonna just watch jeff scream at her (although she’d be quick to scream back). 

I like to think that’d be one of the tuning moments for their relationship, jeff starts berating nina and standing up, toby perks up and is getting ready to intervene cuz it brings back bad memories, and nina starts screaming back cuz she DGAF. she dgaf. So toby would be like oh. Okay. so she does think for herself. an d the next time jeff tells nina to go get them beers, toby might be like “nah its fine i can get my own” rather than nodding along. FIX HIS BRAIN A LITTLE BIT. 

BUT because nina was coworkers with Natalie for a while(and friends), he eventually started hanging around nina more often casually. it sounds shitty but he used her for ego boosts cuz she was so quick to fawn over him ("you're so strong!! oh, that scar is so cool! i looove this haircut on you toby, let me touch!"). And i think its pretty nice for both of them, sort of passive bonding? Cuz toby grew up with a sister and a mom always smothering him and hugging him and lyra would ask him to braid her hair, and nina is just filled to the brim with affection spilling over in everything she does. MUTUALISTIC RELATIONSHIP. THEYRE THE ALIGATOR AND BIRD

AND they're both naturally pretty touchy people (toby wrapping his arms around shoulders, patting backs, picking people up, messing with hair. nina leaning on people, holding hands, tracing shapes, sitting on laps). i like to think that was one of the things that reaaaaallly got on jeffs nerves, which is part of the reason jeff and nina become so toxic with nonstop cheating on eachother, screaming matches, and his eventual stabbing. and part of why jeff and toby went from being pretty good buddies, to getting physically violent with eachother at the drop of the hat. And nina is really, really appreciative to have someone do that for her - cuz she’s the type to sit on the fence between friends, play both sides, not be assertive about who was right/wrong, etc and she’s used to everyone around her brushing off her feelings and how she’s treated. so toby firmly being like “he hurt you, i care about you, so i dont fuck with him anymore. Simple” would make her feel very like Wow. i feel important.

HOWEVER, they’re both really emotional, and really, really sensitive. It presents different, with ninas emotions being more like a breaking dam of tears and screaming and drowning in it, while toby is explosive shouting and burning and aggressive and just wants to suffocate the fire. Toby is a hypocrite though, and views Nina’s emotions as weak and pathetic just cuz she’ll cry and babble. He doesnt quite grasp that theyre both sensitive, he just validates his own anger as a ‘useful’ emotion that ‘gets shit done’ while nina is a whining babbling mess who wallows in it… AND HE’LL TELL HER THAT LMAAAOOO. And nina is mean and spiteful and will be crying while going off about how he’s a virgin loser little bitch with mommy and daddy issues and this and that and toby would just be like You fucking know what. Get the fuck out nina. (I DREW A COMIC OF THIS I WANNA REDRAW IT SOON). But nina will text toby and the convo sorta goes. “3: r u mad at meee” “ya” “v_v dont be mad…” “why” “cuz >_< i just bought pink lemonade Smirnoff and i got nobody 2 drink it with” “come over” then they dont actually dissect why they blew up on eachother. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO YOUR LAST QUESTION ON CLOCKY…

She dgaf. Ok im joking. Im assuming you specified clocky so i can talk about if it upsets clocky.

She gets worried, actually. I dont want it to be interpreted as romantic jealousy, but she sees the way they connect on touch, being emotional, opening up, etc - meanwhile she’s sort of stuck in the middle of them and she struggles to open up, she bottles things up, she can be cold and quiet and distant. She’ll ignore their texts for days because she’s just not doing well and is trying to focus really hard on work(and her whole “getting better” thing), only to find out that instead of them harassing her like usual, they just hang out together and wait until she’s ready to reach out. And something about that irritates her. Cuz they were HER friends first 😒…LOL. But another part of her worry is the fact that they are both so emotional and they feed into eachother’s bad habits and is pretty blunt with telling them that.

BUT ASIDE FROM THAT!! She does love that her friends get along. It feels really good for her to have a close-knit group of friends who really care about her. Nina and toby will both make a shitty cake decorated in an ungodly amount of sprinkles and bring it to her. They’ll put her in a groupchat and blow it up with useless conversations. Theyll buy her concert tickets and make her come along. They get her out and are good for her in their own ways, even if theyre all very flawed. and she's not the type to give a shit about romantic jealousy

[barkly-523]

About Dutch van der Linde

Hello tumblr rdr space! I do not go here, but I post on tiktok sometimes and have a dear buddy of mine who ive been talking to about some posts on here!

I will post a proper introduction at a later date, but for now I would like to put my own two cents in on some stuff ive been seeing recently, about Dutch.

Dutch is an incredibly COMPLEX character, and I feel that some people really horrifically miss that point sometimes. whether it be "Oh, he bonked his head!" or "Oh, this man is a monster!" both points are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I believe they greatly miss the overarching theme of his character and who he is, and was, as a person. To merely dismiss all of his actions by saying "oh, hes just a monster, abuser, groomer, thats why hes the way that he is" shows nothing above a surface level understanding of his character, nor the characters of the people around him and those who choose to work with him. These characters were designed to have depth, to be studied, and understood on a deeper level. Why take such a basic explanation? I am not here to say Dutch is not without flaws (because he has alot of those), but I AM here to say that calling dutch a "groomer" or some sort of "cult leader, master manipulator" is just, factually incorrect.

Firstly, with the grooming point. This is an incredibly stigmatized word nowadays, so its crazy to use in general here, but by no means were people "groomed" into being outlaws. These people had flaws of their own, took bad paths, and ended up crossing paths with Dutch. Why did they cross paths with him? Well, I went through every "how they joined the gang" story I could find, and its about a 50/50 split between they tried to rob or kill dutch, Or that they were on the run and dutch gave them a safe place to stay, with some exceptions. The odds of these people bumping into someone far worse, in all cases, are exceptional. Most of the gang were in bad places when dutch found them, and they were getting desperate. Its incredibly possible they wouldve bumped into someone who wouldve killed them instead. John was saved from being hanged. Had Dutch and Hosea not been there, he wouldve died. Arthur outright says "dutch saved me, saved most of us." and although things did not turn out right at the end of the day, to believe that dutch was nothing more than a power-hungry manipulator is shown to be incorrect in the media itself. Colm exists. Hes literally right there. An antagonist who; doesnt know the names of the men in his gang, is shown to hit Kieran, who cares more for numbers than connection. Their feud goes back YEARS, and it all seems to stem from a fatal disagreement about how things were being run. When they split paths, Dutch keeps a tight knit gang of people who he considers family, Colm continues to grow his gang in numbers. At the very start of the game, dutch makes it clear that hed prefer the gang doesnt split up, that they stick together so *he can be sure everyone is okay.* He shows sympathy for Sadies situation, and takes her in to help her. Not once is it stated shes obligated to be there, in fact, its stated that she can stay as long as she needs to, to get back on her feet. She has the final say on whether she stays in the gang or not. The reason so many people stayed in the gang until it was actively collapsing, is not because dutch was forcing them to stay. They saw him as family just as he saw them.

Its why his character arc is so interesting. Its why watching his downfall is impactful. he ISNT a bad man, he does bad things out of desperation towards the end of the game, just as other gang members did in the very beginning. Dutch had bad tendencies, but he had people there to help him stay on the right track. His beliefs were good, its why he had people who stuck with him. They believed in what he taught. He had incredibly intelligent people in his gang, I'll use Lenny and Hosea as my examples for now. Lenny was taught by his father to judge peoples character, and even if his time with the gang was short he absolutely wouldve picked up on dutchs behavior if he was hiding behind some sort of mask. and HOSEA, has been with the dude for 20 YEARS. You cannot fake something for that long, and hosea is far from stupid aswell. He is a conman by nature. If dutch was trying to con everyone, surely he wouldve noticed. Arthur still regards dutch incredibly highly for a good majority of the game. He sees the man as a mentor and is clearly deeply affected watching dutch spiral and do bad things as the game goes on. At the beginning, when told Dutch had shot a girl on the blackwater job, his first response is to say that it "doesnt sound like him". Dutch is shown to have remorse for his actions, although he chooses to rarely talk about blackwater, and avoids the subject when its brought up, he explains to hosea, with shame, that he "really messed up" in blackwater. Micah had egged dutch on (as stated by John in a camp interaction) and dutch is shown to be regretful, that job really put everything in motion, but I truly believe micahs manipulation is what changed dutch.

Micah fed into his impulsive side, and tried to reassure him when things went wrong. When Arthur was kidnapped by Colm, Micah explained that Arthur was the type to wander, and surely, theyd see him back at camp. Dutch, ONCE AGAIN, shows regret. He shouldnt have put Arthur in such a position, and knows it. Dutch has impulsive tendencies, he has paranoid thoughts. This is shown in multiple camp interactions and even stated in one of the games first journal entries about the land they were going to settle on before the ferry job. To simply blow off all the depth of his character by saying "oh, hes bad" is so,, lame? Why focus on dutch specifically to say he did all of these bad things on his own accord when micah is, right there. Dutch literally goes crawling back to him in the epilogue. Partly for revenge, since seeing arthur on the cliffside was able to briefly break him out of the funk hed been in for the last few months (albeit far too late), but also partly because I dont think he knows how to be alone. I dont think he can handle it. Hosea and Arthur had been by his side the longest, and he had to watch both of them die. Late game conversations between dutch and arthur have always been fascinating to me, and even in Guarma dutch is still set on going back to keep the gang together. Thats his family, and he cannot lose them too. He outright states he'll do whatever it takes to make sure they survive. Arthur is startled by this, as dutch has been shown to be deadly and irrational, he isnt processing things well, and cannot handle the pressure on his shoulders, and it certainly doesnt help that Micah is in his ear telling him that Arthur and John are betraying him. He clearly doesnt want to believe it, but he cannot wrap his head around hoseas death, and assumes that the only way it couldve happened was if someone ratted, completely overlooking micah.

Dutch is not a smart man, and truthfully, he should have never been in a position of power, but he is not evil. He was desperate, and he was trying to keep his family together. Although I do not agree with the "Trolley Theory" for reasons stated above, I highly doubt him bashing his head like that helped with his mental state either. Dutch is desperate. Dutch does bad things, but he is far from a bad man. He helped the people in his gang, and although the found family turned sour in the end, they mattered to him, and it mattered to the gang. Dutch, CANONICALLY, was not always "bad" either. Arthur, Dutch, and Hosea robbed a bank, took what they needed, and gave the rest to the local orphanage. Dutch scolded Arthur for robbing someone who was "too poor" and said that doing that made them just as bad as the system they were fighting against, Dutch helped Hosea get on the right track and stopped him from stealing just about anything he could get his hands on. Dutch is a man who had good ideologies, and wanted to help people in his own way, but the pressures kept adding up and it broke him. Dutch, in RDR1, is a more objectively "bad" character, But look at how they fleshed him out in rdr2. Was the cliff scene nearly as impactful before the release of rdr2? absolutely not! Playing as john, we were thrown in with a baseline knowledge of their history, and now knowing the full story makes the cliff scene quite the harrowing experience if youre able to grasp the intricacies of dutchs character, to look at him as more than "just a villain".

This turned out to be far more ranty then I wanted, but I am so tired of seeing so much mischaracterization and demonization of a character with literally days worth of content to look at and study that shows some of the points I see from people to just be blatantly wrong. Lol

[scoobydoodean]

i think even though cas was in there stealing the journal, i think he was trying to legitimately convince dean to come to his side, because he does it the Very next episode (although he doesnt seem to realize that hes being manipulative about it..im not trying to infantilize him i just remember him being confused/surprised when dean points out that crowley gave him the same line)

like i do think theres a bit of double think in how castiel acts and behaves and he doesnt seem to grasp the emotional consequences of his actions, especially in this season.

like he thinks hes saying "if you trust me (please trust me) i can get crowley to release lisa and ben, because you wont be a threat anymore to his plan"

but dean hears "if you want lisa and ben back, you'll have to fall in line"

thats not to say dean is wrong for hearing it like that, but castiel really seems to be struggling with communication because he did this all for dean (in his mind) and once it's all over everything will be fine, lucifer and michael will stay in their cage, and dean and lisa will be safe at home.

but at this point hes killed too many and hurt too many people to turn back so when dean pleads for him to back down hes hearing dean say "im fine with risking the apocalypse again, and i cant trust you to do a plan that you are certain will work" when dean is just worried about another eve slipping through

its just very delightfully complex (imho) i dont really have a conclusion

Cas definitely wanted Dean on his side. He didn't need to wake Dean up or have a conversation with him to get the journal. He chose to wake him up and have that conversation because he desperately wanted Dean not to think badly of him. It's just hilarious that at the same time, he was also like. There to steal shit. When he saw Dean sleeping on that couch, he just couldn't help himself. He wanted to talk to Dean.

Trying to get Dean on his side was important to Cas because he loves Dean and values their friendship, but it was also important to him because Cas had, to some extent, tied his self-image to everyone else's perception of him over the whole season. He lies to all of his friends—Sam, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Rachel. He lies to the Winchesters because he wants a place he can come to where someone still recognizes him as the person he used to be and not the person he is becoming. Crowley puts this best:

CROWLEY: The big lie -- the Winchesters still buy it. The good Cas, the righteous Cas. And long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. Well, I got news for you, kitten. A whore is a whore is a whore.

This is a period where Cas was doubting everything and wrestling with moral quandaries. He sees his own actions as monstrous, but also believes that monstrosity is necessary. He and Dean have a conversation about this very early on in 6.06, after their last interaction in 6.03 had Cas causing a child excruciating pain to gain information.

DEAN What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one. CASTIEL I'm at war. Certain... regrettable things are now required of me.

I've talked about how the title of this episode, "You Can't Handle The Truth", shows Cas's hand in that he doesn't believe anybody else can handle the dirty work. He knows it makes him look bad and that's why he lies about it—to protect his image.

The whole of 6.20, he's struggling, but he's doing it alone. To his friends, he presents his actions with surety—telling Dean insistently that Cas knows what he's doing and that there's nothing broken about his plan, while he says privately praying to his father:

Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me. You have to give me…A sign. Give me a sign. Because if you don’t…I’m gonna ju– I’m gonna do whatever I… Whatever I must.

And to himself about working with Crowley:

I asked myself, “what was I doing with this vermin?”

And while betraying Crowley briefly by killing demons Crowley sent after the Winchesters:

For a brief moment…I was me again.

Sam and Dean and Bobby's belief in Cas's goodness (that he was himself) was so important to Cas that he was spying on them all of 6.20 despite his alleged busy schedule just to check in and see what they were thinking about him. And when they did trust him again for that brief moment, he felt relief, but also knew it was all an illusion and felt shame and guilt about it:

Wonders never cease. They trusted me again. But it was just another lie. 

The same discomfort and shame seeps off Cas in 5.17 when Sam and Dean thank him for saving them, while Cas knows Astropos was only after them because of him, and that if they understood the full picture, their feelings about what he'd actually done to "save" them would be very very different. He knows he's receiving praise he doesn't deserve, so the esteem they place on him is hollow.

On the other hand, I do think Cas grasps the emotional consequences of his actions for the most part. That's why he lied the whole season—because he was afraid of the fallout among every single person he knew and even more as the lies stacked and stacked. He knew none of them would agree with what he was doing. But the consequences with Sam and Dean also extend a little deeper than Cas thought they would, and that's what wounds him the absolute most, I think. I don't think Cas expected Sam to question whether Cas intentionally left his soul in The Cage, or for Dean to question whether or not Cas was involved in the plot to kidnap Lisa and Ben in 6.21. He is genuinely and deeply wounded when his care for them is essentially questioned at the very foundation and it leaves him feeling betrayed in his own way.

The thing is, Cas's privately held doubts still do not match the picture he presents to the Winchesters even after he is exposed. Privately, Cas is starting to see the pride and hubris underlying some of his choices:

I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment…

I see now that I was prideful. And in all likelihood, I was a fool.

I see now that was arrogance…Hubris 

Privately, Cas reveals that his motives aren't as pure as he presents them to be:

I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I-I don’t know anymore.

Hiding…Lying…Sweeping away evidence. And my motives used to be so pure.

Crowley had a point, of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchesters’ guardian.

But to the Winchesters? He says "I did it all for you" and "I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you" and "It's not broken". He doesn't let them see his doubts, because he might crumble under them—and because sunk cost fallacy and his own pride won't allow him to accept being questioned even by his closest friends. In other words, he continues to lie, and after the big reveal, Dean can see right through him.

CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you. DEAN: Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

Cas's pride also comes out in this conversation at night in Bobby's house.

DEAN: I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man. CASTIEL: Or what?

Dean says he isn't going to logic Cas. Bobby and Sam and Dean already tried that earlier that day, Balthazar will also try later, and it doesn't register. Dean puts all of the technical arguments aside and is trying to say (coupled with his earlier assertions) "I know you think you have to do this, but all of us can see you're going off the deep end and even you know that deep down. Please trust us on this." But Cas's response is "Or what?" He turns it into a battle of wills, then adds, "You can't stop me. You're just a man", which is also a dogwhistle for Dean when dealing with angels, who repeatedly over the course of the show, have called him a monkey, a dog, a pet, and other things to express the idea that he is beneath them as a justification for using and hurting him. It immediately turns them against each other because Cas feels like Dean is basically calling him crazy and is offended by the idea that he doesn’t know what he’s doing (even though he has his own private doubts, because at this point his self-image hinges on turning out to be right). Dean is seeing the angelic sense of superiority come out—something he’s far more familiar with than he’d like to be—something common to the angels who have used and manipulated and threatened him and acted entitled to him… and coupled with all the questions about exactly how involved Cas was in using Dean to get alphas over the course of the season and how he knows Cas used him in “The French Mistake”? It doesn’t paint a pretty picture for Dean.

In addition to their profound bond, I think Dean saying, "Cas, we can fix this!" and Dean being Cas's defender the entirety of 6.20 is also why Cas comes to him at the end of the episode. Dean is the weak link in the chain at the time (that completely changes in the next episode when Lisa and Ben are kidnapped). But Dean is also so devastated about all the faith he had in Cas's honesty being crushed, and he's reliving the demon blood arc in some sense, and he's probably reevaluating what he felt when Cas used him in "The French Mistake" and what exactly was going on in "My Heart Will Go On" and how—when Crowley forced him and Sam into doing his bidding, Cas knew it and he let it happen—he let it happen because he wanted the alphas. Not only did Cas know Crowley was using them—he went to great lengths to cover up his involvement and keep them off Crowley's tail. Cas's speech in the following episode demanding Dean's trust again is not only ill-timed while Dean is worried sick about Lisa and Ben—it's full of lies and half truths and even a little shit slinging that Dean knows isn't fair and that is deeply reminiscent of Sam's speech full of falehoods about trust in 4.21.

On Cas's side, I think you're spot on about his lack of cognizance on how he comes across when he says:

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

I don't think Cas meant to suggest that the first statement depends on the second one (we can judge as much when he heals Lisa at the end of the episode) but that's absolutely how it comes across.

[bugsysaboy]

Kite Headcanons <3

ALRIGHT THIS ONE IS FOR MY FELLOW KITE STANS!!! all 5 of us!!!!

No content warnings, sfw

-has the worst appetite known to man /hj

-he usually just eats soup

-he can easily be thrown off by the texture of certain foods (certified jello hater!)

-although, honestly, if he's hungry enough he'll eat anything.

-autism be damned, my boy can work a grill campfire.

-anxious as FUCK in restaurants. He's too awkward to order and will just s t a r e for too long unintentionally at the waitstaff.

-also will be awkward about starting his meal and will just hork it down when no one is looking. (Look, he grew up on the streets, eating fast so no one takes his food is just a hold over.)

-REALLY GOOD CANDID PHOTOS BUT DO NOT ASK THIS MAN TO POSE! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING!

-you know that meme that's the person doing the half a heart with their hand and the other person has a thumbs up? ...yeah.

-ACTUALLY THAT BEING SAID he's really handsome when caught off guard, but when he's actually engaging in conversation with someone he's kinda funny looking? Like he'll suddenly be aware of how he's carrying himself and maintaining eye contact and he will over correct.

-This man has no game!!! This man can neither pull nor flirt! 29 years old and even the idea of holding hands gets him flustered.

-on top of this if he's romantically interested in someone he's really prone to just avoiding them.

-KITE AND CRAZY SLOTS IS JUST MANZAI! KITE IS THE STRAIGHT MAN AND CRAZY SLOTS IS THE FUNNY MAN! KITE SAYING "ah, bad roll" AND GRIPING ABOUT CRAZY SLOTS IS JUST A BIT TO HIM! HE THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS BUT NOBODY SEES THIS.

-dad jokes and puns all day everyday

-also he can actually be pretty chatty, like don't get me wrong when he's really focused he'll probably just shut up but during downtime? Around a campfire? He loves to spin a yarn or talk about his work.

-He also loves to hear about what others are passionate about!

-gets a general feel for people really quickly- he'll open up to people he gets good vibes off of pretty fast, but others he's more iffy on he may keep things cordial. This can, however, lead to snap judgements about people that might not be always correct.

-excellent pickpocket, now that he has a stable income through being a hunter he won't use this ability often...

-okay might do it to prank someone

-...or humble them.

-Met Ging when he was 15 and Ging was 18

-if he sets an alarm he somehow always manages to wake up just before it goes off

-hammock conoisseur 😌

-if he was in the real world he'd be Russian. (This is literally just based off of vibes and some edit an artist made of Kite running to Russian hardbass.)

-thinks it's really funny to say "have you considered..." to someone and when they ask him to elaborate he just says "...just... have you considered."

-loves sunflowers, loves sunflower seeds

-likes to keep a spare scarf handy in case someone needs it

-makes the crazy slots noise when he's really trying to concentrate

-favorite candy is saltwater taffy

-I like to imagine that he got the idea for crazy slots because of a boardwalk carnival in the town he grew up in. The carnies knew that Kite could win any of the games they had, no matter how rigged, it was uncanny.

-...probably used the plushies he won as pillows, maybe with the smaller ones he'd let his dogs play with.

-AND YES, HIS DOGS ALL HAD NAMES. ALEXEI, BORIS, SERGEI, PUSHKIN, FYODOR JUST TO NAME A FEW

-Favorite author is Dovstoevsky

-legitimately does not remember where he got his hat from, it's just kinda always been there, you know?

-he's not super focused on material goods and he doesnt really like receiving gifts (exceptions are made for anything handmade or a really cool rock.)

-...call him pretty and he'll fold

[themoodyestj]

I loved your example on objectification of women in academia, which I am a victim of myself. Thank you for that.

However, don't you think Jensen gets objectified so much because that is how he wants his fans to view him? He played a hot, charismatic bad boy for 15 years, and he made that his whole personality. People don't know much about him outside of that, they just know him as 'the hot dude from supernatural'. On the other hand, we hear people praising Jared for things other than his looks, his kindness towards fans, how he goes above and beyond to make them feel valued, how he contributed to the Austin economy by filming Walker there, and of course his work with mental health. I feel Jensen wants his fans to sexualize him, for example "the magic happens" interaction in that AD house tour video. You could argue that it was Elta who said that, but Jensen could've had that removed if he wanted to. He even had his home address leaked fully knowing how crazy his stans are. Jensen has been in this business long enough to understand branding, and I believe it his him that wants the sex symbol tag.

Well, first of all, Im sorry for your experience. You kick their butts and show who's boss! ;)

Second of all, regarding Jensen... Not invalidating your point, you may be right, after all, all we do here is speculate. However I'm inclined to... not really. Let me explain why.

I think probably Jensen milked that sexy man image at first. It was giving him attention, relevance, the girls swooned for him, all good. But then the rumors of being homosexual started. What does the guy do? Gets married. The wife throws a tantrum on media saying shes not a beard, yada yada. Boom! Family man image beats sex symbol. Now he's in love, he has kids and then...

Destiel. He gets super uncomfortable, cant shake the gay rumours, says Destiel doesnt exist. Gets slaughtered at the Hellers altar. The poor excuse of a wife, what does she do? She holds Misha's hand and says, lets join forces to piss off my husband. Destiel delulu increases, Danneel is no longer a beard, she is now a relevant participant in the threesome, and makes her hobbie to invalidate/hummiliate/ make fun of said husband any chance she gets. Danneel is finally (somewhat) relevant, Misha gets the attention he so desperately craves, Jensen's life sucks. So much for the sex symbol image, none of that is sexy.

The problem, in my opinion? PR. Very weak or very incompetent PR. He's scared to displease the masses. And because he was so willing to make the masses happy (or at the very least calm), the masses started spreading him in all directions like taffy, and now he's viewed like what?

I dont know, a Ken doll that can be inserted in whatever people want him to be, regardless of what he himself wants to be. They make him sleep with everything and everyone except Jared. And Jensen is a bit to blame, because although he was vocal sometimes about how he wanted to be viewed, he got scared easily and didnt assert himself. And they held on viciously to that.

And now he is pretty much the clay of everyone's fantasies.

To some, any way. There are some sane people that want to watch him grow as a person and as an actor and encourage him to find his true self. None of those people are Hellers or AAs. But nah. Definitely not a sex symbol.

My two cents.

[burnt-tortellini]

south english writing tips for non-uk CoD writers

im so tired of seeing gaz say “bruv” every 10 seconds OR hear about ghosts “mom”

i have no clue how much of this applies in other places/is obvious but!

ok so common slang

bloke/lad - a man

bev/bossman/brother/mush - a man but in a friendlier way (like gaz might call soap or price mush)

missus - someones wife (usually “the missus” is the wife of whoever is talking/being talked about, i dont usually hear people say “*insert names* missus” there also isnt a male equivalent sadly)

scran - good food or to eat (eg. “scranned that nandos” or “going to the chinese later to pick up some scran”)

kip - nap but you usually “take” a kip rather than “have” a kip if that makes sense?

cardy - cardigan/zip up hoodie (usually gen x or older women i hear saying this)(and me until i was 10 and got bullied of out it💔💔)

tory - technically supporters of the conservative party but the definition has been broadened to people who are posh/rich (derogatory)

bender - gay (derogatory, if you couldnt tell)

wank - jerk off

wanker/bellend/twat/knobhead/fuckface - common insults (also cunt is a lot more common over here, its still a bad word but it doesnt hold the same weight as in the states, ESPECIALLY among teenage boys)(although they just say slurs anyway so)

babe/hun - typically used by girls either as a term of endearment or to be patronising (you could call a random person in a shop hun or use it in an argument it really depends)

any word ending in “ic” can be turned into “____iccy” for instance “i look better in this piccy” or “digestives are proper good choccy biccys”

dead ____ - typically used by northerners as a substitute for “really” (eg. dead nice cake is a really nice cake), southerners usually use “proper” instead

chav - female equivalent of a roadman, hard to explain in terms that make sense. if i say “so…? spray, orange foundation, m to the b” does that make sense to you ???

roadman - male equivalent of a chav, balaclavas, nike tech jackets, bikes/scooters, vapes, central cee, usually congregate outside of maccies in packs

side note: idk how well known this is outside of the uk but along side the middle finger we have a reverse peace sign, usually combined with a wanking motion but can just be used like a middle finger. also a closed fist doing a wank motion holds the same effect

i will probably edit and add more as i think of them but feel free to reblog with anything i missed!!

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[trickstarbrave]

skyrim's MSQ has a lot of logical issues and annoying railroading but there are a couple of things that rly make no sense to me

delphine getting into the sacred tomb of jurgen windcaller and taking the horn that she knows the dragonborn will be after. i dont know how she knows the ldb will be asked to go get it by the greybeards, but i can excuse that with her being an active scholar and archaeologist which she is shown to be before that point (no i dont know why she is then dismissive of scholars later on). im really confused how she managed to get it and get out without setting off any of the puzzle traps

why she put the note there. what if i missed the note. what if the note fell off into the water and was unreadable. like it seems not very good as a plan

she gives us a passcode in the note and then tests us to see if we're "really" the ldb and not with the thalmor. i could be a dragonborn AND allied with the thalmor, it isn't impossible. the thalmor, while bad guys in the story to a cartoonish degree, are not the big bad. thats alduin. regardless of if alduin is rly gonna end the world or just try to rule it again, the thalmor would want to oppose him and control the dragons (something the ldb can do). the ldb could be a thalmor sympathizer easily.

the general assumption the ldb is going to be allied with the blades even if the game acts wishy washy about it. there is no way to refuse delphine's quest to kill paarthurnax and no way to kill her instead. in vanilla you can delay this quest and be locked out of the blades until you do, but there is no way to NOT be allied with the blades. why even give us the facade of choice here asking us existential questions about what it means to be good and acting like we have a choice to make when we absolutely do not (and bethesda will probably say paarthurnax is killed canonically for this reason)

the entire thalmor embassy section. we get some world building for the thalmor but logically it makes no sense to be in this questline in this spot. "the thalmor might be behind the dragons coming back" is such a wild leap of logic, as is "thats why we need you to infiltrate the party" like this isnt super risky, liable to get me killed, and is unlikely to have a reward. if she said we need to know more about dragons and the thalmor might have information on any surviving blades members because she doesnt think shes the only one left alive, that would make more sense

although i still hate this quest because it doesnt matter if you are a super stealthy rogue who can make your way through undetected or a warrior in heavy armor cutting your way through all of them, the results will be the same: you are caught and malborn is held hostage where he either is killed there or has his entire life ruined having to live in hiding for the rest of his days. why give us a stealth mission if there is gonna be no reward for being stealthy? "oh well not every person will play a stealth build--" im not asking for non-stealth build characters to be locked out of this quest im saying maybe stealth characters dont get fucking caught at the end if they go thru the place undetected

you have to join the college as part of the main storyline which i think is rly dumb. i know ppl hate magic in skyrim and the ppl of winterhold are paranoid but come on guys you dont offer enchanting services to normies? you wont just let me look around the fucking library after i proved im dragoborn? the magic sucks in this game anyways and the college questline is underbaked, why am i being railroaded into this one. you dont make me join the thieves guild. cmon

the thalmor just kind of become irrelevant around halfway through the story. what do you mean i was caught breaking into the embassy and now they just kinda don't care? you'd think they'd report me to the empire aligned cities' guards or order a hit put out on me.

does bethesda even know if alduin was actually gonna eat the world or just try ruling again. bc its really not clear at all and i think that is an important distinction to make

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

hey do u have any hcs for leo, reyna, or rachel?? :)

I DO INDEED!!!! although for my leo and reyna hcs keep in mind im only on son of neptune so im coming from a place of limited knowledge

leo:

that boy is NOT cishet. hes pan as fuck and his gender is whatevers funniest to him in the moment

listens to beyonce and lady gaga religiously

had crushes on both jason and piper

has really fucked up teeth, personal hygiene who?

basically lives off of coca cola

keeps trying to jokingly flirt with percy, annabeth is not happy about this

I JUST KNOW THIS BOY WOULD BE A THEATER KID, not a performer though hed be backstage

really likes painting and drawing but hes not exactly good at it so he doesnt do it often because looking at his art makes him hate himself

almost always listening to music

has really bad seperation anxiety

hyperaware of the fact that he is not and will never be charles beckendorf, gets really insecure when the other hephaestus kids talk about beckendorf around him

reeses pieces are his favorite candy

this last one is kinda weird and specific but i like to think he has a stash of ring pops that he keeps with him at all time to either eat when hes anxious or use to jokingly propose to people he finds cute

(wow im projecting hard for some of these)

reyna: (not alot for her agh im sorry)

aroace. i take no criticism im right about this

i wouldnt exactly say shes not cis but she does have a bit of a weird relationship to gender

had a bad case of comphet (compallo???) and it took her a while to realise she was queer

really protective of nico, has basically decided hes her younger brother and she would both die and kill for him

has ptsd that she refuses to adknowledge

listens to a weird mix of classical and emo music (the emo is nicos influence. shed never admit she likes it though)

RACHEL ELIZABETH DARE MY BELOVED:

AROACE AROACE AROACE-

good friends with thalia

never actually had feelings for percy it was just a good ol case of comphet/compallo

going back to the thalia point, her favorite band is green day, thalia introduced her to them

the pjo character whos most likely to smoke weed i think

vibes with being a cis girl but she does enjoy engaging in gender fuckery on occasion

after she realised she wasnt in love with percy she thought she was a lesbian, she was not, she just found girls aesthetically attractive

in a qpr with percy (let me have this okay)

experiments with her style alot but generally refuses to wear an outfit if it doesnt have atleast five bright colors

dyes her hair alot, never the full head just streaks

[shiopi]

Soft

pairing: dazai osamu x fem insecure reader

a/n: just had a small idea bcuz my mind has been full of my lil pookie and i love soft dazai<333 this is really self indulgent. not proofread im lazy.

SFW part

Dazai is literally the best person at comforting you. when he first notices youre insecure, he will literally be so shocked because youre so pretty and beautiful! how could you not notice that about yourself? he thinks youre joking at first honestly because in his eyes, you are literally the most gorgeous being ever, no one could compare to you.

he will kiss every part of you while holding you close in his arms. he will whisper sweet nothings into your ear telling you how wonderful you are with a breathy and low voice. "Bella...youre so pretty and cute...ah look at how much of a blushing mess you are for me. youre truly so adorable and pretty. i love every part of you. your body and existence in itself is pure art, darling..mm what a sweet and good girl you are.."

if youre feeling extra sad about it one day, he will literally go and buy all your favorite snacks and flowers. he may not have a lot of money but for you, he will do anything. and that includes postponing his plan to buy more bandages. he bursts the bedroom door open with his hair stuck to his forehead and him a panting mess from running from the shop to the house to give you these treats. he just wanted to surprise you and make you happy and all smiley again that he couldnt contain himself! his hands are full with a bouquet and multiple bags hanging from his hand all full of your favorite snacks.

oh? you dont want to eat them because they will add to your weight? he will assure you multiple times that you are beautiful just the way you are and eating just a few snacks wont do any harm. if you still deny them, then he will offer to go to gym or work out at home together to burn the calories if you want to. although, he thinks you dont need to do anything because youre perfect the way you are but anything to make his love feel better!

NSFW part MINORS DNI

warnings under cut

contains: soft dazai, soft sex to slightly rough, oral sex (reader receiving), mentions of scars and stretch marks, bunch of kisses, body worship, aftercare. lmk if i missed anything

Sex with Dazai is always warm and sweet. he makes sure youre comfortable with whatever you two are doing, he absolutely doesnt wanna force you into anything or having to go along with him because you would feel bad denying him. your pleasure is what matters the most to him.

when you attempt to cover any part of yourself in embarrassment with your hands because you dont wanna show him the sides you claim to be ugly, he will smile softly with a sigh and kiss you softly before pulling your hand away gently. "Bella, you dont need to hide anything about yourself. youre so beautiful, theres not a single ugly thing about your body. youre perfect, my love. please let me see all of you? dont be afraid, you should learn to accept yourself. i love you just the way you are"

to show he means his words, he will also take off his bandages and show his scars that he might have to you. he will even let you touch them if you want to.

his words are so gentle and sweet. he handles you with utmost care as if youre so fragile to him. hes afraid you will break if he even slightly treats you roughly. "ah, youre so pretty, sweetheart. mm...look at how wet you are for me...let me have a taste baby. youre so cute..ill be gentle, i promise."

his thrusts are gentle but also a bit rough, a lot of thought and care are put into behind them. he doesnt wanna hurt you. he wants you to have a good time. he will kiss any stretch marks, scars (if you have) you have. his lips are so gentle and sweet. he does this while still thrusting into you. he will hold onto your hands tightly as if to say hes here for you, that he will never leave you. "youre doing so well for me, love..ahh~ you feel so good..oh god, what did i ever do to deserve someone so wonderful as you? i love you so much.."

he isnt afraid to hide his moans, he wants to let you know just how good youre making him feel and bcuz hes just a slut. he will thrust into you gently at first but later on he finds himself so lost in the pleasure that he will start picking up the pace a lot more while murmuring soft apologies. "ah! ah...mm...im so sorry, bella...haah...i cant handle it, you feel so good. can i go a bit faster? am i hurting you? im so sorry, ahh~"

hes so skilled, he will bring you to an earthshattering orgasm. his movements are so precise but also gentle, lord knows how he does it. he continues to thrust in a bit more after you finish to help you ride it out. he cums balls deep inside you, filling you up with his warm seed.

after you two finish, he will get you a towel to wipe your sweat off and get you some water as well. expect a lot of cuddles and kisses all over your body because man loves you so much and is completely head over heels for you. he wants you to know how much of an effect you have on his life, in a good way of course. he cups your face in his hands, planting sweet kisses all over your face. from your forehead to your nose, your cheeks, the corner of your mouth and your lips.

his lips trail down to your breasts, kissing them softly. he doesnt forget to give your thighs some love as well, which may or may not potentially turn to him eating you out. he wants to make sure you know how loved and beautiful you are as he worships every part of you. "i love you so much, bella. you did so well for me. you deserve everything in this world...i will protect you. i love everything about you, sweetheart. your body is so lovely"

overall, he will treat you like an absolute queen and is a 10/10 boyfie. not a single red flag<3