#that although it does not make me a good or bad person and it doesnt make my life somehow so much better to be thin

[thisuserisgonesorry]

1,, im not a teenager . might be young but i have a pretty good grasp on adulthood atp , and i’m not the only person that thinks this specific take; ive asked a lot of mutuals/friends who are (young,,) adults and agree w/ me and many people in rbs agree so like .. bringing my age into this is so left field cos . idk . weird thing 2 say

2 in my experience from living in a very “redneck” (lack of a better term) area (though not america, so there could be a difference), ive met 20-25 year olds who look and act exactly like daryl in s1 because teenagers in redneck areas just look like that. thats where my estimate came from, due to my own experiences

3,, norman reedus literally just looks young in everything he plays . you cant deny that he has a bit of a baby face and doesnt ALWAYS look his age . (but also celebrity men do look like that cos they dont just start rotting away the second they hit 23 because blue collar / minimum wage jobs suck) and never did i say there was a problem w/ him being 40 , just that it didnt make sense in my mind,,, nd actors can play characters that are a different age than them. norman being 40 ≠ daryl having to be 40

4,, he wasnt embarrassed until around season 3-4 iirc , closer to when he was around more people and less isolated , closer to merles death , more so around when he found out carol would go to that community home to get away from ed and then more around beths whole arc (iirc? im a bit aways from s3 rn,,)

nd considering 25+ is around when the frontal lobe developed. yeah. he would act like an idiot in s1. like all young adults do. and he would helplessly follow his brother around for validation considering his childhood, and he’d do whatever he wanted. he would be a terrible drunk, with no job. young adults do that. especially ones w/ mental health / bad childhood

then he develops into a person who was willing to learn to deal with his trauma when around season 4 when (in hc) he’d be like 27 at the earliest (?) because we have to remember that we skip all of loris pregnancy and then the first year (?) of judiths life. making him on the closer side to 30 around the time the prison, when his character starts developing.

(and i never said 25 was the solid age, just that hes “like 25”, meaning im happy to account s1 daryl as 26,27,28, whatever, just that hes under 30 in s1 in my mind)

5 i agree that him being older plays a part in his story but i dont think being 25 suddenly makes him a little baby that makes his development void. his frontal lobe developed. that is a valid subtextual reason for him to mature. but that isnt the only thing that made him reflect and want to cope with his trauma. merles frontal lobe developed and he never tried to do what daryl did - therefor the age thing doesn’t exactly diminish his story or else merle wouldve changed before the outbreak, but he didnt, because some people dont. some people reach frontal lobe age and stay the same. its not “he just grew up” because then merle would have too, but he did grow up, and realised following merle was stupid. but he wouldnt have reached that outcome if there werent other factors so it can easily be both

6 i never said 40 looks old or that theres a problem w it, but how is he older than rick? than most of the other people there? being older than rick feels like it makes no sense (although rick didnt grow up like daryl did and they had carl young so blab yeah theres reasons) and merle being 35+ does make some sense though id somewhat agree 35 is young for merle. m not saying that ppl start decomposing when they hit 30 but god forbid i hc someone as not 40

+ trauma physically ages people so even if daryl did look the same age or older than rick, then it would still be plausible that hes younger. we see trauma age characters in this show. its not hard to assume it happened to him outside of the outbreak too

prob formatted this like a mess but ,, m tired

n e way other people in the rb say that they think daryl is different ages to all of them (varying from 20-40) and as i said in those rbs its interesting that no one can really “agree” on what age he should be cos hes an enigma like that and i think it suits him,, like we all can agree on certain things about certain character cos its a unanimous vibe but then his unanimous vibe is that no one truly knows him??? subtext of it all .

anyway /nm for all of this . im just a little guy . i respect ur opinion cos i love my pookie and i really do love that everyone interprets his story so differently ,,,, i just like talking about it

idgaf im sick of not saying it. s1 daryl dixon is not fucking 40 bro. hes like 25. there is no way in fucking hell.

[zahri-melitor]

Hi! I’m a steph fan and your steph post really is good. IDK what post/person you’re talking about (I assume it’s going around, because I’m seeing the tumblr posts about it) but I love steph, and I think her sense of retributive justice and almost like instinctual violence towards men makes complete sense with her character. Even if I don’t think every writer was doing it intentionally (BQM certainly wasn’t thinking about Steph’s history with men when he had Steph get startled and punch Tim accidentally or whatever), these traits I think speak to feelings a lot of abused and wronged teenage girls have. I think it’s genuinely bizarre to want to remove these traits that IMO make Steph interesting in order to make her more palatable.

While I can actually understand people wanting her to grapple with restorative vs. retributive justice (again, i think this is a really common thing for young abused people to question and struggle with so seeing it on-page could be interesting), I think there’s more and more this sense of because Dixon wrote her this way, you should throw it all out which is so catastrophically boring to me. As much as Dixon is a conservative, and wrote Steph as a bit of a mouthpiece (and leaning on stereotypes about young girls in her characterization), plenty of it i think makes complete sense and genuinely works for her character.

Which, again isn’t to say I think every single aspect should be immutable forever (I think that would also be boring, especially for Steph who very rarely has gotten to be seriously introspective or have a fully realized arc in which her beliefs change past like 2000), but plenty of them straight up work for her teenage years in particular. Like of course the girl with no friends we meet on-page and no real support system when shes introduced is going to be possessive and desperate and catty! She started coming on to Tim after he REMEMBERED HER VIGILANTE NAME. That’s what it takes for teenage steph to like a boy, which I think speaks a ton for her dynamics with her male peers in her life. Like the minute you think even a second about what Steph’s life was probably like pre-Spoiler, I think most of her character flaws as a teenager (even those born of a conservative era or sexist writing) make complete sense.

I understand people not liking Steph (although I think she gets a lot less leeway than her male counterparts), but I think buffing out her canonical traits and flaws so she’s just like this freakish exaggerated version of herself (a perky, hyper-feminine stereotypical blonde thats super chaotic and doesnt think and does everything unintentionally) that only exists as a character foil to Tim or Cass or as a like cookie cutter snarky young female sidekick is way worse.

The thing about Steph in particular compared to a lot of other characters is that she has two very distinct, separate versions of her story that exist in an overlapping form (rather than before and after a Crisis like a lot of other characters who have a similar discontinuity in their characterisation).

The main character Steph you get reading Batgirl 2009 and Batgirls 2022 is a quite different personality to supporting character Steph that forms her appearances from 1992-2004, Batman RIP, Tynion's 'Tec, and Mariko Tamaki's 'Tec and One Bad Day.

Now personally, what I enjoy in a character is complexity and personality traits that are simultaneously assets and flaws (This is part of the reason I adore Barbara Gordon: she's a stubborn, grudge-holding hypocrite, and it gives her character so much depth). Another thing that you particularly see with female characters is they often develop a lot of complexity via stories that don't quite line up but when analysed turn into patterns of behaviour that various writers didn't even realise they were contributing to.

Supporting character Steph tends to be allowed to be messy (to help move stories along!) and that's where a lot of her most interesting personality traits pop up. As you say, there's a lot of solid background to why she hates to see criminals 'get away with it' based in her background and childhood and storylines. There's reasons for why she seems such a loner who has trouble forming friendships and who clings to the people who do put up with her for validation, and is so territorial over her relationships with Tim and Cass. She's desperate for approval and will cling to any shred of it she gets. And that desperation and determination is where her stubborn commitment to get back up again and ignore everyone trying to convince her to stop comes from, and how she keeps fighting, to prove her naysayers wrong.

While I tend to feel the Batgirl 2009 and Batgirls 2022 version of Steph is really flattened out into Generic Perky Blonde Optimist, because she's not allowed to face consequences of her actions or be at fault for anything in those titles.

It also obviously makes discussions difficult, with the overlapping contradictory characterisation versions, because if you're talking to someone who's only read a small chunk of her canon, you have to work out which bits they know, and with the added problem that what looks like obvious entry points (her solo or Batgirls) tend towards more uncharacteristic and flattened personality versions of her. Someone who's only read, say, Batgirls, has a very different view of who Steph is than someone who's only read Steph's Robin appearances, and if they try to discuss it without realising the significant differences in characterisation they're going to end up talking at crosspurposes.

[cairos-wing]

Runt is the younger sister Troy needed and Troy is the hypeman Runt needed send tweet

(Also I have a new HC that the Overseer couldn’t see Blink’s face through the cog mask thing but could see wing tips and chin and kinda assumed Blink looked like Wolverine Hugh Jackman and they were totally gonna co-ordinate something less formal the moment “the right hand” was done hunting down the Inventor)

[mostlikelyshutup]

the worst part about being a fat woman with an eating disorder is that if you offered a chance for me to be thin, i know i would take it in a second, and i also know that it comes both from a place of insecurity and ed thinking but also very real oppression as a fat woman

[cutiebinni]

saebyeok nsfw/sfw headcanons?

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ // kang sae-byeok sfw + nsfw headcanons

warning !! : nsfw ones are all fem!reader but sfw are gender neutral! smut obv, praise, degradation, oral, strap, scissoring, i think thats all?

a/n : GUYS I LOVE HER SO MUCH GUYS STOP GUYS 😣 maybe i just love women ..

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ sfw

— just a chill guy.. 😎 /ref

— no but seriously!! shes more of the black cat in a relationship

— shes not a huge fan of pda but she likes to hold your hands in public so everyone knows to back off🤺

— does the thumb thing (iykyk) (i want her so bad)

— wraps her hand around your waist when walking through a crowded place together

— when cuddling shes the sweetest!! she’ll place warm kisses on your neck, mumbling cute little words quietly in your neck

— loves cute little dates like picnics, movies date, etc etc, as long as shes with you, shes happy!!

— for her, how much something you get her costs doesnt matter considering how she was broke growing up

— she prefers thoughtful, cheap, diy things over expensive things that have no thought behind them

— on a diff note she’d buy you whatever you want no matter how many people she has to pickpocket!!

— such a sweetheart she’d literally do anything for you even if she’s tryna be all nonchalant and mysterious

— when people wrong you she gets more mad than you do LOLOL

— she sees you crying? she’ll immediately want to hurt whatever hurt you.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ nsfw

— shes actually pretty gentle, contrary to her cold personality

— gentle in her actions, yes, but her words..

— a mix of degradation and praise at the same time, but more degradation 😵‍💫

“look at you, how filthy. cumming all over my strap, you’re making a mess of yourself.”

— not the biggest fan of quickies because she likes to take her sweet time and love on you!

— loves ✂️ing bc.. yes?

— i feel shes pretty quiet! doesnt really talk a lot but lets out a few words when necessary

- although sometimes shes sooo teasing :( if you moan super loud she’ll pick on you

“yeah? you like it that much, hm?”

“i’ll assume im doing good?”

— strap is pretty pink with black glitter idc argue w me all u want

— she likes taking risks a lot >< the thrill of being caught in a public place is super exciting to her

— tongue skills r IMMACULATE you already know.

— looks up at you from beneath your legs to watch your pretty expressions

— the sight of her between your legs like that is actually mouthwatering.

— expect to find your inner thighs LITTERED with hickies the next day

— shes not sorry either. just marking whats hers as hers!

⊹˚₊─────────────────‧₊˚⊹

tags : @twicesuuui @ventforu

[eternalera]

I'm making an analysis of this scene because fuck it, it means sm to me

so basically the scene im talking about is the one above and why (because fuck you l like adam and lute) it means so much to me

first off when do we actually see adam smile and im not talking about when he's being an asshole to charlie or making some unfunny sex joke. I'm talking about when he looks genuine.

Like he looks actually happy, not entertained but happy because thats what it is with charlie. He's smiling because he's entertained with her reactions and how pissed he's making her.

Whenever we see him smile it has this almost evil feel to it (whether that be with the teeth in the mask that he wears or not although it probably is... i'll get to that later). It feels like he's meant to be the villain. He's meant to be someone you're meant to hate. So why in this scene does it make you feel bad for him and lute? (almost depending on the person cause yes i know some of you jumped up with joy at this, i aint judging)

it makes you feel bad because there's something human in this scene whether we like it or not. that also comes with the removal of their masks. we've never seen adam without his mask so him losing it in this scene provides us with the sense that 'hey hes still human' he's not some eldritch being sent from hell/heaven. he's a guy.

this also comes with the removal of lutes mask. we see her genuine emotion. we actually see her being to cry something that honestly seems almost out of character for her seeing as she's pretty much that one character whos like 'fuck it lets power through this'

this also is similar to adam smiling cause it shows you that in the end he wasn't a total asshole.

but back to the masks. the masks make them have pretty sharp looking teeth which is something that we associate with sharks or some sort of predator. yet removing the teeth (actually adam doesnt even smile with his teeth) you suddenly get a lot more of a human feeling

they dont feel like a villain anymore (even though thats what they are) they feel like a person. it doesnt make him feel like a threat anymore so you have an actual ability to feel bad for him.

but moving on (i ramble a lot so this may not stay on track but its fine :D ).

our last scene of adam in this entire show (im pretty sure like yknow... direct scene) is him smiling. him showing genuine human emotion. because whether or not you guys wanna admit it adam was the first human, and he does have feelings that pertain to humans. so why have this be our last view of him? of him being quite literally beaten down.

well personally i feel like this is because the show wants us to see him as lute sees him. she saw him (as from what ive gathered) as a genuine friend. she actually liked his company and liked hanging around him.

so this pushes her idea and avenging adam or getting revenge for his death. if we didnt have this scene her just getting upset at lilith and taking charge randomly and getting just randomly mad at the hotel would be kinda... eh.

like it wouldnt make for that good of a story.

but with our last moments of adam being him smiling at lute it shows us basically something else. that he cared, for what? we dont really know but he cared for something because its clear that the extermination failed and adams dying. hes fucking dying something he seemed so upset over two seconds ago screaming and shouting how he shouldnt die or whatever

so its most likely that he cared for lute making this scene all the much sadder. besides its the only thing we can assume seeing that lute was the last thing that he saw before passing on.

also ive seen theories that make a lot of sense with lute being the only one who stuck it out with adam till the end. lilith left him, eve was created from his fucking rib and yet she most likely left him. so he probably died pretty damn along the first time around

so lute being there for him and showing that she cared for him and that she still cares for him probably meant a lot. most likely because she stuck around until his death, she stuck around till the end which once again, he died alone the first time and dying with someone with you the second probably means a lot

anywaysssss yeah thats it byeeee

[wuucchoo]

Understanding Tsumiki and Megumi's relationship

Hey there! It's me, Megumi's defense attorney - here once more to defend my boy.

I've been seeing A LOT of people saying they cannot sympathize with Megumi's grief because they don't know Tsumiki that well. And although I would argue that you don't need to know the person who died for you to sympathize with the one who was left behind - I do understand what these people mean, i don't agree with them! But I understand why they think this. And yes, we dont know Tsumiki.

However, we first need to understand why gege chose to present Tsumiki this way. On a surface level, she can only be seen as 'the thing that would cause Megumi's downfall' - we dont know her thoughts, her ambitions, her real personality, anything really - except for what Megumi says about her. A 'textbook good person'.

And that's because she is a character that we were only able to see through someone else's eyes. We don't know Tsumiki, because Megumi doesn't know Tsumiki.

BUT WAIT!! What do I mean by that?

Before that though, I would like to say first! This doesn't mean that Megumi's love for her is diminished by this. Just because he doesn't know her doesn't mean he doesn't love her. Megumi cares about her more than anyone in his life, and that's a fact!

Now we can proceed! What does this mean? Let's look at this page from ch 56: origin of obedience:

This was a case that they have been investigating, and it is pretty damn close to Megumi's and Tsumiki's old school. And yet, the thought that Tsumiki might have went to the bridge with her classmates never crossed his mind. He doesnt know that Tsumiki is someone capable of breaking the rules, going against curfew, and joining her friends to go to a haunted bridge in the dead of night. This boy Megumi thinks his sister is a damn saint.

He put Tsumiki on a pedestal, and it resulted in her turning into nothing but the mold of a good person Megumi uses to judge other people. If a person is not Tsumiki-shaped, then they're not worth saving. ((Luckily for Yuuji, he IS Tsumiki-shaped lmao. But anyway!))

Truth be told, I used to think it sucks that we never knew Tsumiki outside of what Megumi says. I never felt bad when she died, I felt bad that Megumi's sister died. I felt bad FOR Megumi.

And now that I actually think on it, THAT was the exact point. We dont NEED to know Tsumiki, we only needed to see her through Megumi's eyes - and through that, understand that Megumi doesn't really know her that well.

It is something that Megumi have to mull over. Why did he keep Tsumiki at an arm's length despite how much he cares for her? Why is it so hard for him to let people in? Why is asking someone for help so difficult for him?

ITS BECAUSE OF THAT MFKER TOJI!!!! IM TELLING YA'LL!! /hj

Look at the face he was making in Toji's memory. That's a kid who shows his emotions outright. My boy is pouting (つ╥﹏╥)つ. But when Gojo met him, Megumi has become a total idgafker (at least on the outside). And thats not only because Gojo was a stranger - coz thats how he looks like when he talks to Tsumiki too. It's because he became that way when Toji left.

Anyway, my point is, due to Megumi's abandonment issues - he never let anyone in. EVER. Not even Tsumiki. Megumi put a wall between him and other people - for his own protection. The one who came a little bit close into breaking that wall is Yuuji (and we are yet to see how that goes).

And this is why, we as the readers are all detached from Tsumiki's character. Because we saw her through Megumi's eyes, who loves her and cares about her very, very much - yet despite that he never let her get too close. (っ- ‸ - ς)

If you read up to here, whats up! Thank you for reading! Feel free to counter it or anything, Im happy to discuss!

((also something to add: Megumi cares so much about Tsumiki because she's the first one who actively chose to stay - amidst all the people who left.

this was inspired by a great megumi character analysis i found on twitter:

read it if you have time! its really good!

[whole-circus]

Can you do when the Proxies, Eyeless Jack, and Slenderman, find out the reader has a extra appendage like a tail? Although the reader doesn't hide it they just use it like a belt but rarely use it?? (How has your day been? Also please make sure to not stress yourself)

Creepypastas with reader that has a tail!

➥ with "Ticci" Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman

Hi love!!! Thank you and remember to take care about yourself too!!&lt;3 Im going a bit insane in my room lol But I hope you felt at least okay!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

"Ticci" Toby

Toby finds you so cool! He wouldnt really notice at first that its actual tail, but how long he can stay clueless? When he finally gets it, he is so excited i swear. You almost make him wish that he had tail instead, but he cant complain since his partner have it! Toby will beg you to touch it and play with it, he is way happier about the tail than you (and you literally live with this things.. with tail, not toby). Loves to lay down with you and cuddle, your tail wrapped around his hand/ leg/just anything. Loves playing with it when he needs to keep his hands busy. Toby would be also respectful if you dont like having your tail touched becasue i can only imagine how sensitive it is, just say the word and he will act like it doesnt even exist congrats, now he will play with your hand!

Masky

Honestly wouldnt make a big deal out of it? Masky is a simple man, and i feel like he wouldnt even noticed at first if you wear it as belt, would just think that you have weird fashion sense but who he is to judge?? But then it turns out that its actual tail? You are person of many suprises, arent you? Listen, he would definitely calls you some of this cheesy petnames like kitten or puppy just becasue of your tail 💀..like please, punch him or something. Overall good boyfriend, will fight for you and stroke your tail??

Hoodie

Good luck with him! Hoodie wants to touch it a lot! Its not like there are a lot of chances in life to pet someone tail, huh? Who can blame him in such cruel condictions..? Even if you use it as a belt, he loves when you just..let it swing by itself! That way he has easier acces to it, and i mean it - boy is in heaven. He would definitely tease you so so much! Hoodie will anno and you can expect at least couple of funny comments about your tail daily (or at least he thinks they are funny). I see him wearing a fake tail just to mess with you to be honest. Hoodie isnt the worst person, you will definitely get a lot of attention from him! Is it good or bad? I will let you decide!

Eyeless Jack

Okay, Jack really enjoyes having "not-so-normal" partner (well, in term of being a human). He tends to be a bit insecure sometimes about what he is, so you make it all a bit easier to him to be honest. Doesnt feel as weird - and of course he doesnt want you to feel this way! He is pretty observant (and well, have amazing senses), so propably noticed it when you used it as a belt, no need to tell him twice! Absolutely loves to make you flustreted!! Will tease the shit out of you, i mean it. Definitely will like to caress it and play with it (pls he is a bit like a cat), later will chuckle in his husky tone when you are embarassed and tell him to stop

Slenderman

Slenderman wont say too much..well not like he is the most talkactive person! He is fascinated by people, loves observing them and to learn about their nature..does it really matter for what reasons? We will just move on with that.. Anyways, if you ask me, Slender as not-human-creature likes seeing how everyone is diffrent event tho he had seen already a lot! There is really tiny wall between his hate and fascination for humans. But dont worry, its you who we talk about! He will ask some questions, but in his subtle and gentlemanly way! It doesnt matter to him if you are a bit diffrent, becasue he sees it more as your advantage than disadvantage! Slenderman would be more into intelect than look anyway i think. Wont touch your tail tho..well maybe not without your consent, but he just doesnt really care, he has seen almost everything in his 'life'.

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚　

[stelladess]

I feel like using very powerful operators but your own strategy that you thought of takes more skill then copying exactly one to one a low rarity guide with the same exact timings and operators and everything does.

Ive mentioned before I have played a LOT of yugioh in my life and in trading card game circles there is a term called "netdecking". Where basically you copy another person´s deck (usually from the internet, thereby the "net" part).

There are a lot of reasons why people consider it bad, it being uncreative, stealing another person´s work but the one relevant to my point here is that it requires no understanding of *why* the deck is constructed like it is.

In my opinion the best way to build your deck is to decide on what kind of deck you want, build a cheap but solid enough version of that as you can (konami is making the "cheap" part harder and harder of course but still, on master duel it is still doable for many). And then you play with it. You see what works and what doesnt, you iterate over time, removing cards you end up not having use for and adding stuff that will help your strategy or counter things that gives you trouble. A lot of these things you add may also be engines or staples you can then put into a new deck once your old one has fallen behind from power creep or gotten everything banned, although certain themes are convenient in that they almost always work at least (shaddolls, branded, bystials, tearlaments and zombies are all some of my favorite deck types in part because they are very resistant to getting outdated, dragon combo is another one like that I just do not like using it).

This way you understand why every single card is there. You learn how to use them and WHY you use them instead of some other card. The adjustments you make you know the reasoning that went into. So a netdeck might not be terrible as the first version, but you should iterate on it based on your experience if you do that, and try to think about why the person who made this deck made the decisions they did (I also think this might be a risky starting point because it will likely be much more expensive then the approach I outlined since most really good decks will have a lot of cards that either were already pricy or just shot up in price after that).

If you do not understand your deck you cannot play it well no matter how good the deck is.

I have a similar issue with following guides completely. Watching them and trying to understand why the person who made the strategy does what they do is good, but if you just copy them without trying to get the actual thinking behind the strategy you are just gonna be stuck playing increasingly difficult parts of the game without having had to overcome the challenge to get there.

Chapter 7 is one of my favorite chapters of Arknights from a pure gameplay perspective because it really kicked my ass when I first got to it as a new player. It forced me to see weaknesses in my own roster (no levelled shifters, lacking vanguards, etc). And my favorite map is H12-4 because it presented so many little problems to solve and to beat it was this long process of having to isolate each problem and figure out a solution to it, one that didn't step on the toes of a previous solution for another problem. And sure some of those solutions ended up being "pull for Eyjaberry so I dont have to worry so much about elemental damage" but it still meant I was thinking about what the actual challenges of the map were and how to counter those. But a key thing of H12-4 is that it is a map that no matter how OP your roster gets you still have to use your head to beat. It is the the best boss battle in the entire game by a huge margin currently and I really hope we can get more as good as it in the future.

Anyway I think it is just more interesting to actually solve things by thinking about it yourself. Even if it requires you to use more powerful options then someone who does it with like only 3 and 4 stars and a single 6 star. The people coming up with those strategies are like, experts at the game. And it is far more valuable for a new player to actually learn to play on their own and make their own strategies, the basics, before they can work on gaining a deeper understanding and doing more challenging stuff. It takes time to get to the skill level where you can get the prestige of clearing the hardest maps in the game with no 6 stars or only welfare operators or stuff like that.

[oukabarsburgblr]

Hello! I am new, and wanted to ask 3 things for you:

1.) Is Daichi a type of yandere, and why is he obsessed with the reader?

2.) Are you maybe interested in writing JJK?

3.) Can I be 🎃 anon?

-🎃 Have nice day studying/whatever your busy doing, keep up the good work ദ്��ി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Hello there and 3) yes u can be 🎃 anon, reminds me of that one game kubz scouts played for days on end. Pumpkin race? The one with the time that he tried to one up haha

1) to be honest, its been a while since i wrote that fanfiction and ever since then ive been focusing on my ocs so much hshsh. I do think daichi can be classified as a psychopath. A yandere? I wouldnt say he loves the reader (during his third year) and i could say for a fact even he acknowledges he doesnt harbor romantic feelings for the reader until much later (after the training camp shenanigan) however, he did harvest some type of attraction to the reader. An unhealthy one. Where the dynamic is between an object and an owner? Not a pet or a partner, but an object instead. Something he can switch on and off, mold into his liking and reader just so happened to be a perfect victim for it. Although he does grow to be fond of you, ever since how obedient you became. So many screaming nights passed in your house.

Now came the question of why? Why did he do all of this? Why did he instigate it the second the reader came into his view? I tried explaining it in the second part of the fic. Sugawara and Asahi would have treated reader like any other first year if it werent for Daichi. Maybe suga a bit sociopathic but daichi was the match that started the flame.

I think it came from the canon fact that Daichi was the rock of the team, their anchor, their foundation. I thought of him as someone youd look up to, youd rely on but there had to be days where he wasnt feeling himself right? Where he finds all of them a tad bit annoying, but that wouldnt be nice, they were his friends after all. And you came into the picture. On a bad day, where he just felt shitty and you suddenly came stumbling into the club, making a ruckus, curse words from your mouth scratching his eardrums and a thought slipped his mind where he found you so fucking annoying. However, it wouldnt be fair to thrust all that negative energy onto you so he did what he could, ignoring you until he could cool himself down. Maybe the day after he could find himself talking to you again. Wrong. He still finds you annoying and rude. Then there was this urge that came from deep within his stomach, this feral desire to grasp at you, clench at your face, pulling your skin back so you would behave- Too much blood so no can do. He still found you annoying though, hence, the snowball rolls where he decided to just change you. Sugawara and Asahi was a massive help, pinning you into the corner until he had you cumming around his finger.

If given the chance, where there would be no repurcussions, no trace of any evidence whatsoever, Daichi Sawamura would have murdered you, killing you in cold blood and burying your body deep within the mountains. A heavy burden would lift from his shoulders and he felt like the world would work his way again. But there was no solid plan for it so he never took the chance nor thought to.

Can you tell that Daichi is my favourite? Hahaha ive said this like three times now. I loveeeee him.

2) would i ever write jjk! One of my favourite readers have requested a satosugu x bottom male reader in my inboxes and i will consider but heres the thing.

I dont watch jjk😭

Well, i did, until i dropped it. I think it was at episode 20+ on season 1. I used to be a huge shounen person but now im a slice of life fan (although they can be quite boring sometimes) i guess im more into thrillers but in a normal setting? But i know jjk characters.

I used to have an obsession w sukuna haha. Ik maki, ik zenin naoya, ik todo aoi, like ik them and ik what happened to them (rip nanami) but idk i think i have to get hooked on really well for me to watch jjk so that i can write it. We'll see deffo! But i plan to watch chainsaw man first hshshs

[crushedsweets]

what is the relationship between Nina and Toby? and what’s Clocky’s reaction to it

OK SO. in Creeped(my au) "canon" they arent romantic or anything, the Ninatoby ship art i posted is just cuz i like the ship LOL ...

BUUUT in my AU, they are really close and have a pretty confusing, but mostly positive, friendship! Honestly a lot of this is me sorta just rambling off concepts about them in my AU but. What am i if not off topic. i wrote liek 35898 pages

to begin, Toby met Nina through Jeff. Jeff would be hanging around the area, arm around Nina, showing her off like she's some trophy. so toby didnt really think much of her at first, just one of jeffs chicks - not really her own person. He’d not think twice when jeff would tell her to get the guys a beer or tell her to fix her clothes or generally being shitty to her - until jeff raises his voice at Nina, then toby is more likely to Sit up and watch a bit more carefully cuz he doesnt know what to expect and hes not gonna just watch jeff scream at her (although she’d be quick to scream back). 

I like to think that’d be one of the tuning moments for their relationship, jeff starts berating nina and standing up, toby perks up and is getting ready to intervene cuz it brings back bad memories, and nina starts screaming back cuz she DGAF. she dgaf. So toby would be like oh. Okay. so she does think for herself. an d the next time jeff tells nina to go get them beers, toby might be like “nah its fine i can get my own” rather than nodding along. FIX HIS BRAIN A LITTLE BIT. 

BUT because nina was coworkers with Natalie for a while(and friends), he eventually started hanging around nina more often casually. it sounds shitty but he used her for ego boosts cuz she was so quick to fawn over him ("you're so strong!! oh, that scar is so cool! i looove this haircut on you toby, let me touch!"). And i think its pretty nice for both of them, sort of passive bonding? Cuz toby grew up with a sister and a mom always smothering him and hugging him and lyra would ask him to braid her hair, and nina is just filled to the brim with affection spilling over in everything she does. MUTUALISTIC RELATIONSHIP. THEYRE THE ALIGATOR AND BIRD

AND they're both naturally pretty touchy people (toby wrapping his arms around shoulders, patting backs, picking people up, messing with hair. nina leaning on people, holding hands, tracing shapes, sitting on laps). i like to think that was one of the things that reaaaaallly got on jeffs nerves, which is part of the reason jeff and nina become so toxic with nonstop cheating on eachother, screaming matches, and his eventual stabbing. and part of why jeff and toby went from being pretty good buddies, to getting physically violent with eachother at the drop of the hat. And nina is really, really appreciative to have someone do that for her - cuz she’s the type to sit on the fence between friends, play both sides, not be assertive about who was right/wrong, etc and she’s used to everyone around her brushing off her feelings and how she’s treated. so toby firmly being like “he hurt you, i care about you, so i dont fuck with him anymore. Simple” would make her feel very like Wow. i feel important.

HOWEVER, they’re both really emotional, and really, really sensitive. It presents different, with ninas emotions being more like a breaking dam of tears and screaming and drowning in it, while toby is explosive shouting and burning and aggressive and just wants to suffocate the fire. Toby is a hypocrite though, and views Nina’s emotions as weak and pathetic just cuz she’ll cry and babble. He doesnt quite grasp that theyre both sensitive, he just validates his own anger as a ‘useful’ emotion that ‘gets shit done’ while nina is a whining babbling mess who wallows in it… AND HE’LL TELL HER THAT LMAAAOOO. And nina is mean and spiteful and will be crying while going off about how he’s a virgin loser little bitch with mommy and daddy issues and this and that and toby would just be like You fucking know what. Get the fuck out nina. (I DREW A COMIC OF THIS I WANNA REDRAW IT SOON). But nina will text toby and the convo sorta goes. “3: r u mad at meee” “ya” “v_v dont be mad…” “why” “cuz >_< i just bought pink lemonade Smirnoff and i got nobody 2 drink it with” “come over” then they dont actually dissect why they blew up on eachother. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO YOUR LAST QUESTION ON CLOCKY…

She dgaf. Ok im joking. Im assuming you specified clocky so i can talk about if it upsets clocky.

She gets worried, actually. I dont want it to be interpreted as romantic jealousy, but she sees the way they connect on touch, being emotional, opening up, etc - meanwhile she’s sort of stuck in the middle of them and she struggles to open up, she bottles things up, she can be cold and quiet and distant. She’ll ignore their texts for days because she’s just not doing well and is trying to focus really hard on work(and her whole “getting better” thing), only to find out that instead of them harassing her like usual, they just hang out together and wait until she’s ready to reach out. And something about that irritates her. Cuz they were HER friends first 😒…LOL. But another part of her worry is the fact that they are both so emotional and they feed into eachother’s bad habits and is pretty blunt with telling them that.

BUT ASIDE FROM THAT!! She does love that her friends get along. It feels really good for her to have a close-knit group of friends who really care about her. Nina and toby will both make a shitty cake decorated in an ungodly amount of sprinkles and bring it to her. They’ll put her in a groupchat and blow it up with useless conversations. Theyll buy her concert tickets and make her come along. They get her out and are good for her in their own ways, even if theyre all very flawed. and she's not the type to give a shit about romantic jealousy

[ophelia16stufff]

shuake post-canon

!OBV SPOILERS!

disclaimer: i prefer shuake over akeshu. everything that i post here is sfw, but theres a difference in the dynamic itself so i like shuake more. i feel like the characterizations of both characters individually fit shuake more. i'd like to get more into this lol, but thats another topic.

anyway coming to headcanons on how they'd end up after p5r

post-canon situation:

obv akechi survives i think its canon in the true ending. i think he would've sustained some injuries and needed both physical and mental rehab, based on that scene that was cut out of the game.

i do think maybe he would never want to see akira again cuz man thats hella embarrassing, but no matter how he tries to rationalize that it would be a Bad Idea, he still reaches out. maybe just for one last time. not sure if its over text or in person.

now, i think akechi would be v aware that he's painfully in love with the guy but akira genuinely isnt aware of his own feelings. i think he gets confused between platonic and romantic feelings bec he just cares that much about his friends even though he gets attached slowly.

but the moment he realizes that akechi is alive, freed from puppet strings, he knows what he feels for him and the realization hits him full force.

getting together:

i think they'd take a while to actually get together. i think akechi would hate that he's not on equal standing with akira, and wait till he finally feels his life is somewhat under control.

akira is terrified for a while that akechi can leave again and doesnt wanna do anything to cause a divide. theres also the whole issue of his friends, but i dont think he'd let them have that much sway over this decision. he already regrets that he let go of akechi twice, hes not gonna let there be a third time.

i think theyd be roommates eventually and it would be a completely normal everyday habit/routine that makes akechi blurt it out that he just loves him. maybe smth like akira passing him his cup of coffee, or akechi drying akira's stupid untameable hair bec he never dries it off on his own.

he immediately freezes and considers doubling back but he's no coward, nor does he ever run away. so he just rambles and spills everything, and akira's eyes are just flooded by tears which really makes akechi regret everything and he awkwardly tries to offer comfort

but yeah akira tells that he loves him back and now akechi starts to cry. i think theyre both due a cry honestly. akechi is dramatic in his emotions, and the p5 anime taught me that akira cries when its is related to akechi. so.

i think they wouldnt announce their relationship but they dont try to hide it either? theyd probly take things slow cuz both of em dont wanna fuck it up, and akechi even moreso bec although he's formed a proper friendship with akira, his emotions still become too overwhelming at times

sidenote but i do think akechi is capable of making friends but its probly with his co-workers or smth like that. a relationship that starts off as mutual respect and companionship, basically smth that he and sae couldve had.

relationship issues:

they both have their own issues, i think both have a habit of antagonizing each other when they're pissed, and prefer to not hold back with each other. but i think they'd still take care of each other. they agree on most things, but when they disagree it becomes worse.

i think akechi would have a tendency to hide and withdraw if he feels insecure about anything. basically, if a conversation would require him to be vulnerable he'd bottle it up till he explodes.

probly made worse by akira who's passive in such situations even if he notices smth is wrong. he thinks its better to let akechi approach him on his own terms, which is normally a good decision but it doesnt work with akechi, who has it ingrained in his mind to hide his dissatisfaction so he's not abandoned

akira would also have the problem of not being vulnerable i think? except he's even better at repressing things, which pisses off akechi to no end, albeit feeling hypocritical.

akechi would try to drag it out tooth and nail, unlike akira though. he isnt able to ignore issues and cant tolerate such a glaring imperfection in their relationship. except this makes the Don't Tell Me What To Do rebel in akira to act like nothings wrong cuz its also kinda fun when akechi is pissed

ig the difference between them would be that akechi still has the urge to spill his true thoughts, but for akira, once he resolves to repress smth he doesnt really go back on it.

i think once they realize both of em aint going anywhere else, they get better at dealing with this kinda stuff. akira's issues would get better after he finally wholly understands that akechi prefers confrontation and to be pushed to do better, and the ugly truth

akechi would realize that he should stop catastrophizing and be more gentle with his approach? but i think in his case gentle wouldnt mean kind, just less accusatory and antagonistic, just more patient and pure facts that akira cant avoid

this is what i can think of for now lol. more about their behaviour and not about specfic things that they'd fight about

how they'd show/express affection:

ok i think akira would be more likely to be jokey and ironically cheesey just to make akechi irritated and not actually express love through words that often

i think it would be akechi to express love through words unironically, hes more articulate and unconsciously just rambles or blurts stuff about how he thinks of/feels about akira

akira would be more big on physical touch i think? unconsciously just become more touchy and act on the impulse to have some kind of physical contact with akechi. akechi would be more purposeful and internally debate on the matter a lot, and therefore more hesitant lol

akira would love getting him trinkets that he knows akechi will call stupid to his face but panic if any of them goes missing. akechi thinks gifts are more of a event exclusive thing, but akira just gets gifts if he thinks they suit someone

akechi likes travelling n stuff, so i think he'd invite akira to explore and try new places a lot. he's also a perfectionist so hed be good at planning things and making sure that its a place they both like.

this part legit makes me hurl i didnt know it was so painful to write fluffy things why is it so harddd ahhh oh well

misc stuff:

i think akechi would be perfectly aware that he's attractive, but akira genuinely thinks himself to be average in looks. smth that akechi is absolutely shocked at and resolves to change that perception

akechi stops apologizing for talking a lot and being verbose after it finally gets through to him that akira likes listening especially to him

i like to imagine this manifesting as akechi just walking into a room and immediately yapping without a greeting and akira gives him attention

akira is probly a furnace if he was able to survive that fucking attic. akechi also wears gloves and the stupid sweater vest in a heat wave so he stays cool mostly. ik the sweater vest is an image thing but he mustve been able to wear it.

therefore he'd let akira to stick to him in the winter without complaint, and akira would cling during the summer bec he feels cool somehow, smth that akechi would grumble about

akechi is a shameless biter. just sinks in teeth randomly. it confuses the fuck out of akira the first couple of times but then he gets used to it. even gets back at him sometimes but with kisses, smth that akechi gets embarrassed by

akechi is insanely confused when he sees his lover crossdress for the first time. hes gay but hes attracted to akira, and akira pulls off the look really well but looks convincingly female with the right clothes, but he thought he liked guys ????

i dont think akechi would fully crossdress, i do hc that he wears a little bit of makeup, puts in more effort to his appearance and normally looks more feminine compared to akira, but i think he'd dislike fully presenting as female. i do NOT think he's misogynistic or anything, just a matter of preference

i do not hc their genders to be trans. i dont hate or dislike the notion, i just dont agree with it personally. i think they're both cis, and akira just likes wearing feminine clothing and kinda considers it to be a hobby to indulge in occasionally. cuz he feels hot in it, AS HE SHOULD.

yeaahhh im done for now loll thanks for reading, esp if u made it to the end <3

[barkly-523]

About Dutch van der Linde

Hello tumblr rdr space! I do not go here, but I post on tiktok sometimes and have a dear buddy of mine who ive been talking to about some posts on here!

I will post a proper introduction at a later date, but for now I would like to put my own two cents in on some stuff ive been seeing recently, about Dutch.

Dutch is an incredibly COMPLEX character, and I feel that some people really horrifically miss that point sometimes. whether it be "Oh, he bonked his head!" or "Oh, this man is a monster!" both points are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I believe they greatly miss the overarching theme of his character and who he is, and was, as a person. To merely dismiss all of his actions by saying "oh, hes just a monster, abuser, groomer, thats why hes the way that he is" shows nothing above a surface level understanding of his character, nor the characters of the people around him and those who choose to work with him. These characters were designed to have depth, to be studied, and understood on a deeper level. Why take such a basic explanation? I am not here to say Dutch is not without flaws (because he has alot of those), but I AM here to say that calling dutch a "groomer" or some sort of "cult leader, master manipulator" is just, factually incorrect.

Firstly, with the grooming point. This is an incredibly stigmatized word nowadays, so its crazy to use in general here, but by no means were people "groomed" into being outlaws. These people had flaws of their own, took bad paths, and ended up crossing paths with Dutch. Why did they cross paths with him? Well, I went through every "how they joined the gang" story I could find, and its about a 50/50 split between they tried to rob or kill dutch, Or that they were on the run and dutch gave them a safe place to stay, with some exceptions. The odds of these people bumping into someone far worse, in all cases, are exceptional. Most of the gang were in bad places when dutch found them, and they were getting desperate. Its incredibly possible they wouldve bumped into someone who wouldve killed them instead. John was saved from being hanged. Had Dutch and Hosea not been there, he wouldve died. Arthur outright says "dutch saved me, saved most of us." and although things did not turn out right at the end of the day, to believe that dutch was nothing more than a power-hungry manipulator is shown to be incorrect in the media itself. Colm exists. Hes literally right there. An antagonist who; doesnt know the names of the men in his gang, is shown to hit Kieran, who cares more for numbers than connection. Their feud goes back YEARS, and it all seems to stem from a fatal disagreement about how things were being run. When they split paths, Dutch keeps a tight knit gang of people who he considers family, Colm continues to grow his gang in numbers. At the very start of the game, dutch makes it clear that hed prefer the gang doesnt split up, that they stick together so *he can be sure everyone is okay.* He shows sympathy for Sadies situation, and takes her in to help her. Not once is it stated shes obligated to be there, in fact, its stated that she can stay as long as she needs to, to get back on her feet. She has the final say on whether she stays in the gang or not. The reason so many people stayed in the gang until it was actively collapsing, is not because dutch was forcing them to stay. They saw him as family just as he saw them.

Its why his character arc is so interesting. Its why watching his downfall is impactful. he ISNT a bad man, he does bad things out of desperation towards the end of the game, just as other gang members did in the very beginning. Dutch had bad tendencies, but he had people there to help him stay on the right track. His beliefs were good, its why he had people who stuck with him. They believed in what he taught. He had incredibly intelligent people in his gang, I'll use Lenny and Hosea as my examples for now. Lenny was taught by his father to judge peoples character, and even if his time with the gang was short he absolutely wouldve picked up on dutchs behavior if he was hiding behind some sort of mask. and HOSEA, has been with the dude for 20 YEARS. You cannot fake something for that long, and hosea is far from stupid aswell. He is a conman by nature. If dutch was trying to con everyone, surely he wouldve noticed. Arthur still regards dutch incredibly highly for a good majority of the game. He sees the man as a mentor and is clearly deeply affected watching dutch spiral and do bad things as the game goes on. At the beginning, when told Dutch had shot a girl on the blackwater job, his first response is to say that it "doesnt sound like him". Dutch is shown to have remorse for his actions, although he chooses to rarely talk about blackwater, and avoids the subject when its brought up, he explains to hosea, with shame, that he "really messed up" in blackwater. Micah had egged dutch on (as stated by John in a camp interaction) and dutch is shown to be regretful, that job really put everything in motion, but I truly believe micahs manipulation is what changed dutch.

Micah fed into his impulsive side, and tried to reassure him when things went wrong. When Arthur was kidnapped by Colm, Micah explained that Arthur was the type to wander, and surely, theyd see him back at camp. Dutch, ONCE AGAIN, shows regret. He shouldnt have put Arthur in such a position, and knows it. Dutch has impulsive tendencies, he has paranoid thoughts. This is shown in multiple camp interactions and even stated in one of the games first journal entries about the land they were going to settle on before the ferry job. To simply blow off all the depth of his character by saying "oh, hes bad" is so,, lame? Why focus on dutch specifically to say he did all of these bad things on his own accord when micah is, right there. Dutch literally goes crawling back to him in the epilogue. Partly for revenge, since seeing arthur on the cliffside was able to briefly break him out of the funk hed been in for the last few months (albeit far too late), but also partly because I dont think he knows how to be alone. I dont think he can handle it. Hosea and Arthur had been by his side the longest, and he had to watch both of them die. Late game conversations between dutch and arthur have always been fascinating to me, and even in Guarma dutch is still set on going back to keep the gang together. Thats his family, and he cannot lose them too. He outright states he'll do whatever it takes to make sure they survive. Arthur is startled by this, as dutch has been shown to be deadly and irrational, he isnt processing things well, and cannot handle the pressure on his shoulders, and it certainly doesnt help that Micah is in his ear telling him that Arthur and John are betraying him. He clearly doesnt want to believe it, but he cannot wrap his head around hoseas death, and assumes that the only way it couldve happened was if someone ratted, completely overlooking micah.

Dutch is not a smart man, and truthfully, he should have never been in a position of power, but he is not evil. He was desperate, and he was trying to keep his family together. Although I do not agree with the "Trolley Theory" for reasons stated above, I highly doubt him bashing his head like that helped with his mental state either. Dutch is desperate. Dutch does bad things, but he is far from a bad man. He helped the people in his gang, and although the found family turned sour in the end, they mattered to him, and it mattered to the gang. Dutch, CANONICALLY, was not always "bad" either. Arthur, Dutch, and Hosea robbed a bank, took what they needed, and gave the rest to the local orphanage. Dutch scolded Arthur for robbing someone who was "too poor" and said that doing that made them just as bad as the system they were fighting against, Dutch helped Hosea get on the right track and stopped him from stealing just about anything he could get his hands on. Dutch is a man who had good ideologies, and wanted to help people in his own way, but the pressures kept adding up and it broke him. Dutch, in RDR1, is a more objectively "bad" character, But look at how they fleshed him out in rdr2. Was the cliff scene nearly as impactful before the release of rdr2? absolutely not! Playing as john, we were thrown in with a baseline knowledge of their history, and now knowing the full story makes the cliff scene quite the harrowing experience if youre able to grasp the intricacies of dutchs character, to look at him as more than "just a villain".

This turned out to be far more ranty then I wanted, but I am so tired of seeing so much mischaracterization and demonization of a character with literally days worth of content to look at and study that shows some of the points I see from people to just be blatantly wrong. Lol

[scoobydoodean]

i think even though cas was in there stealing the journal, i think he was trying to legitimately convince dean to come to his side, because he does it the Very next episode (although he doesnt seem to realize that hes being manipulative about it..im not trying to infantilize him i just remember him being confused/surprised when dean points out that crowley gave him the same line)

like i do think theres a bit of double think in how castiel acts and behaves and he doesnt seem to grasp the emotional consequences of his actions, especially in this season.

like he thinks hes saying "if you trust me (please trust me) i can get crowley to release lisa and ben, because you wont be a threat anymore to his plan"

but dean hears "if you want lisa and ben back, you'll have to fall in line"

thats not to say dean is wrong for hearing it like that, but castiel really seems to be struggling with communication because he did this all for dean (in his mind) and once it's all over everything will be fine, lucifer and michael will stay in their cage, and dean and lisa will be safe at home.

but at this point hes killed too many and hurt too many people to turn back so when dean pleads for him to back down hes hearing dean say "im fine with risking the apocalypse again, and i cant trust you to do a plan that you are certain will work" when dean is just worried about another eve slipping through

its just very delightfully complex (imho) i dont really have a conclusion

Cas definitely wanted Dean on his side. He didn't need to wake Dean up or have a conversation with him to get the journal. He chose to wake him up and have that conversation because he desperately wanted Dean not to think badly of him. It's just hilarious that at the same time, he was also like. There to steal shit. When he saw Dean sleeping on that couch, he just couldn't help himself. He wanted to talk to Dean.

Trying to get Dean on his side was important to Cas because he loves Dean and values their friendship, but it was also important to him because Cas had, to some extent, tied his self-image to everyone else's perception of him over the whole season. He lies to all of his friends—Sam, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Rachel. He lies to the Winchesters because he wants a place he can come to where someone still recognizes him as the person he used to be and not the person he is becoming. Crowley puts this best:

CROWLEY: The big lie -- the Winchesters still buy it. The good Cas, the righteous Cas. And long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. Well, I got news for you, kitten. A whore is a whore is a whore.

This is a period where Cas was doubting everything and wrestling with moral quandaries. He sees his own actions as monstrous, but also believes that monstrosity is necessary. He and Dean have a conversation about this very early on in 6.06, after their last interaction in 6.03 had Cas causing a child excruciating pain to gain information.

DEAN What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one. CASTIEL I'm at war. Certain... regrettable things are now required of me.

I've talked about how the title of this episode, "You Can't Handle The Truth", shows Cas's hand in that he doesn't believe anybody else can handle the dirty work. He knows it makes him look bad and that's why he lies about it—to protect his image.

The whole of 6.20, he's struggling, but he's doing it alone. To his friends, he presents his actions with surety—telling Dean insistently that Cas knows what he's doing and that there's nothing broken about his plan, while he says privately praying to his father:

Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me. You have to give me…A sign. Give me a sign. Because if you don’t…I’m gonna ju– I’m gonna do whatever I… Whatever I must.

And to himself about working with Crowley:

I asked myself, “what was I doing with this vermin?”

And while betraying Crowley briefly by killing demons Crowley sent after the Winchesters:

For a brief moment…I was me again.

Sam and Dean and Bobby's belief in Cas's goodness (that he was himself) was so important to Cas that he was spying on them all of 6.20 despite his alleged busy schedule just to check in and see what they were thinking about him. And when they did trust him again for that brief moment, he felt relief, but also knew it was all an illusion and felt shame and guilt about it:

Wonders never cease. They trusted me again. But it was just another lie. 

The same discomfort and shame seeps off Cas in 5.17 when Sam and Dean thank him for saving them, while Cas knows Astropos was only after them because of him, and that if they understood the full picture, their feelings about what he'd actually done to "save" them would be very very different. He knows he's receiving praise he doesn't deserve, so the esteem they place on him is hollow.

On the other hand, I do think Cas grasps the emotional consequences of his actions for the most part. That's why he lied the whole season—because he was afraid of the fallout among every single person he knew and even more as the lies stacked and stacked. He knew none of them would agree with what he was doing. But the consequences with Sam and Dean also extend a little deeper than Cas thought they would, and that's what wounds him the absolute most, I think. I don't think Cas expected Sam to question whether Cas intentionally left his soul in The Cage, or for Dean to question whether or not Cas was involved in the plot to kidnap Lisa and Ben in 6.21. He is genuinely and deeply wounded when his care for them is essentially questioned at the very foundation and it leaves him feeling betrayed in his own way.

The thing is, Cas's privately held doubts still do not match the picture he presents to the Winchesters even after he is exposed. Privately, Cas is starting to see the pride and hubris underlying some of his choices:

I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment…

I see now that I was prideful. And in all likelihood, I was a fool.

I see now that was arrogance…Hubris 

Privately, Cas reveals that his motives aren't as pure as he presents them to be:

I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I-I don’t know anymore.

Hiding…Lying…Sweeping away evidence. And my motives used to be so pure.

Crowley had a point, of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchesters’ guardian.

But to the Winchesters? He says "I did it all for you" and "I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you" and "It's not broken". He doesn't let them see his doubts, because he might crumble under them—and because sunk cost fallacy and his own pride won't allow him to accept being questioned even by his closest friends. In other words, he continues to lie, and after the big reveal, Dean can see right through him.

CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you. DEAN: Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

Cas's pride also comes out in this conversation at night in Bobby's house.

DEAN: I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man. CASTIEL: Or what?

Dean says he isn't going to logic Cas. Bobby and Sam and Dean already tried that earlier that day, Balthazar will also try later, and it doesn't register. Dean puts all of the technical arguments aside and is trying to say (coupled with his earlier assertions) "I know you think you have to do this, but all of us can see you're going off the deep end and even you know that deep down. Please trust us on this." But Cas's response is "Or what?" He turns it into a battle of wills, then adds, "You can't stop me. You're just a man", which is also a dogwhistle for Dean when dealing with angels, who repeatedly over the course of the show, have called him a monkey, a dog, a pet, and other things to express the idea that he is beneath them as a justification for using and hurting him. It immediately turns them against each other because Cas feels like Dean is basically calling him crazy and is offended by the idea that he doesn’t know what he’s doing (even though he has his own private doubts, because at this point his self-image hinges on turning out to be right). Dean is seeing the angelic sense of superiority come out—something he’s far more familiar with than he’d like to be—something common to the angels who have used and manipulated and threatened him and acted entitled to him… and coupled with all the questions about exactly how involved Cas was in using Dean to get alphas over the course of the season and how he knows Cas used him in “The French Mistake”? It doesn’t paint a pretty picture for Dean.

In addition to their profound bond, I think Dean saying, "Cas, we can fix this!" and Dean being Cas's defender the entirety of 6.20 is also why Cas comes to him at the end of the episode. Dean is the weak link in the chain at the time (that completely changes in the next episode when Lisa and Ben are kidnapped). But Dean is also so devastated about all the faith he had in Cas's honesty being crushed, and he's reliving the demon blood arc in some sense, and he's probably reevaluating what he felt when Cas used him in "The French Mistake" and what exactly was going on in "My Heart Will Go On" and how—when Crowley forced him and Sam into doing his bidding, Cas knew it and he let it happen—he let it happen because he wanted the alphas. Not only did Cas know Crowley was using them—he went to great lengths to cover up his involvement and keep them off Crowley's tail. Cas's speech in the following episode demanding Dean's trust again is not only ill-timed while Dean is worried sick about Lisa and Ben—it's full of lies and half truths and even a little shit slinging that Dean knows isn't fair and that is deeply reminiscent of Sam's speech full of falehoods about trust in 4.21.

On Cas's side, I think you're spot on about his lack of cognizance on how he comes across when he says:

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

I don't think Cas meant to suggest that the first statement depends on the second one (we can judge as much when he heals Lisa at the end of the episode) but that's absolutely how it comes across.

[bugsysaboy]

Kite Headcanons <3

ALRIGHT THIS ONE IS FOR MY FELLOW KITE STANS!!! all 5 of us!!!!

No content warnings, sfw

-has the worst appetite known to man /hj

-he usually just eats soup

-he can easily be thrown off by the texture of certain foods (certified jello hater!)

-although, honestly, if he's hungry enough he'll eat anything.

-autism be damned, my boy can work a grill campfire.

-anxious as FUCK in restaurants. He's too awkward to order and will just s t a r e for too long unintentionally at the waitstaff.

-also will be awkward about starting his meal and will just hork it down when no one is looking. (Look, he grew up on the streets, eating fast so no one takes his food is just a hold over.)

-REALLY GOOD CANDID PHOTOS BUT DO NOT ASK THIS MAN TO POSE! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING!

-you know that meme that's the person doing the half a heart with their hand and the other person has a thumbs up? ...yeah.

-ACTUALLY THAT BEING SAID he's really handsome when caught off guard, but when he's actually engaging in conversation with someone he's kinda funny looking? Like he'll suddenly be aware of how he's carrying himself and maintaining eye contact and he will over correct.

-This man has no game!!! This man can neither pull nor flirt! 29 years old and even the idea of holding hands gets him flustered.

-on top of this if he's romantically interested in someone he's really prone to just avoiding them.

-KITE AND CRAZY SLOTS IS JUST MANZAI! KITE IS THE STRAIGHT MAN AND CRAZY SLOTS IS THE FUNNY MAN! KITE SAYING "ah, bad roll" AND GRIPING ABOUT CRAZY SLOTS IS JUST A BIT TO HIM! HE THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS BUT NOBODY SEES THIS.

-dad jokes and puns all day everyday

-also he can actually be pretty chatty, like don't get me wrong when he's really focused he'll probably just shut up but during downtime? Around a campfire? He loves to spin a yarn or talk about his work.

-He also loves to hear about what others are passionate about!

-gets a general feel for people really quickly- he'll open up to people he gets good vibes off of pretty fast, but others he's more iffy on he may keep things cordial. This can, however, lead to snap judgements about people that might not be always correct.

-excellent pickpocket, now that he has a stable income through being a hunter he won't use this ability often...

-okay might do it to prank someone

-...or humble them.

-Met Ging when he was 15 and Ging was 18

-if he sets an alarm he somehow always manages to wake up just before it goes off

-hammock conoisseur 😌

-if he was in the real world he'd be Russian. (This is literally just based off of vibes and some edit an artist made of Kite running to Russian hardbass.)

-thinks it's really funny to say "have you considered..." to someone and when they ask him to elaborate he just says "...just... have you considered."

-loves sunflowers, loves sunflower seeds

-likes to keep a spare scarf handy in case someone needs it

-makes the crazy slots noise when he's really trying to concentrate

-favorite candy is saltwater taffy

-I like to imagine that he got the idea for crazy slots because of a boardwalk carnival in the town he grew up in. The carnies knew that Kite could win any of the games they had, no matter how rigged, it was uncanny.

-...probably used the plushies he won as pillows, maybe with the smaller ones he'd let his dogs play with.

-AND YES, HIS DOGS ALL HAD NAMES. ALEXEI, BORIS, SERGEI, PUSHKIN, FYODOR JUST TO NAME A FEW

-Favorite author is Dovstoevsky

-legitimately does not remember where he got his hat from, it's just kinda always been there, you know?

-he's not super focused on material goods and he doesnt really like receiving gifts (exceptions are made for anything handmade or a really cool rock.)

-...call him pretty and he'll fold

[burnt-tortellini]

south english writing tips for non-uk CoD writers

im so tired of seeing gaz say “bruv” every 10 seconds OR hear about ghosts “mom”

i have no clue how much of this applies in other places/is obvious but!

ok so common slang

bloke/lad - a man

bev/bossman/brother/mush - a man but in a friendlier way (like gaz might call soap or price mush)

missus - someones wife (usually “the missus” is the wife of whoever is talking/being talked about, i dont usually hear people say “*insert names* missus” there also isnt a male equivalent sadly)

scran - good food or to eat (eg. “scranned that nandos” or “going to the chinese later to pick up some scran”)

kip - nap but you usually “take” a kip rather than “have” a kip if that makes sense?

cardy - cardigan/zip up hoodie (usually gen x or older women i hear saying this)(and me until i was 10 and got bullied of out it💔💔)

tory - technically supporters of the conservative party but the definition has been broadened to people who are posh/rich (derogatory)

bender - gay (derogatory, if you couldnt tell)

wank - jerk off

wanker/bellend/twat/knobhead/fuckface - common insults (also cunt is a lot more common over here, its still a bad word but it doesnt hold the same weight as in the states, ESPECIALLY among teenage boys)(although they just say slurs anyway so)

babe/hun - typically used by girls either as a term of endearment or to be patronising (you could call a random person in a shop hun or use it in an argument it really depends)

any word ending in “ic” can be turned into “____iccy” for instance “i look better in this piccy” or “digestives are proper good choccy biccys”

dead ____ - typically used by northerners as a substitute for “really” (eg. dead nice cake is a really nice cake), southerners usually use “proper” instead

chav - female equivalent of a roadman, hard to explain in terms that make sense. if i say “so…? spray, orange foundation, m to the b” does that make sense to you ???

roadman - male equivalent of a chav, balaclavas, nike tech jackets, bikes/scooters, vapes, central cee, usually congregate outside of maccies in packs

side note: idk how well known this is outside of the uk but along side the middle finger we have a reverse peace sign, usually combined with a wanking motion but can just be used like a middle finger. also a closed fist doing a wank motion holds the same effect

i will probably edit and add more as i think of them but feel free to reblog with anything i missed!!