#that actually marry up really well together

[sugdenlovesdingle]

a little Tommy & Chim bffs for @rileychester

----

"Her ladyship requests, no demands, uncle Buck reading her a story before bed instead of her own mother." Maddie said, walking back into the livingroom after having gone to put Jee to bed half an hour ago.

"What can I say, it's not easy being this popular." Buck joked and extracted himself from where he'd been happily tucked under Tommy's arm on Maddie and Chimney's way too comfortable sofa. He quickly kissed Tommy, murmured something about being right back, and followed Maddie up to Jee's room.

Tommy watched him until he was out of the room and then turned back to Chim who was laughing at him.

"Damn Kinard you've got it bad."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tommy said, trying to act somewhat cool and hide his reddening cheeks behind his wine glass.

"Yeah I'm sure you don't." Chim took a sip of his own drink. "I mean I love Maddie more than anything in the world, but I don't kiss her goodbye when she leaves the room."

"Well maybe you should start." Tommy told him. If he was getting called out, he might as well own it. "It's working pretty well for us."

"She'd probably think I was going crazy and call Hen to come check me over. Who would then also ask me if I'd lost my mind." He said and they both laughed. "But it's good to see you so happy, man. Both of you. Even if I never in a million years would have guessed that you two would end up together."

"Me neither really." Tommy admitted. "I actually almost let your call go to voicemail that night. My shift was almost over and there was bad weather coming in... I just wanted to go home and catch up on some sleep."

"And there was me asking you to steal a helicopter because of a hunch. I'm sure Bobby is still very grateful you didn't ignore me." Chim said and raised his glass at him. "To team who cares!"

Tommy clinked his glass against Chim's.

"Bobby isn't the only one who's grateful. If I hadn't answered that call, i would have missed out on the greatest thing that ever happened to me. i wouldn't have met the love of my life. I wouldn't be here now. I might have downloaded that dating app again that I'd deleted off my phone a few days before or taken Lucy up on her offer to set me up with her friend." Tommy shook his head. "I'm just glad I did answer. it definitely changed my life for the better."

"You're getting sappy in your old age, Kinard." Chimney teased. "When is the wedding? Do I have time to buy a hat?" he joked, expecting Tommy to laugh with him. Only when he didn't say anything Chim really looked at him. "What? Tell me you didn't..."

"I asked Evan to marry me last night." Tommy told him after a beat. "He said yes."

Chimney blinked a few times to process the information.

"Of course he said yes! He's just as crazy about you as you are about him." he got up to hug his friend. "Welcome to the family, man. We'll officially be brothers."

Tommy smiled and finished the last of his wine.

"There is one thing I wanted to talk to you about though..."

"Shoot."

"When Evan and I get married... will you be my best man?"

"It would be the greatest honour of my life."

---

Send me a prompt and I'll write you a ficlet!

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

adding the 3rd interview from that day here, the one where Harry says Louis is a good boyfriend and treats him really well.

the tag here from 2015 was "and they haven't done an interview together in the last 3 1/2 years" and now it's almost 10 years later

and they have never ever been allowed to do another interview together.

clown ass Syco & Modest! behaviour

like, i need to rant for a second. my memory is awful, so i basically watched these interviews with fresh eyes and yes, they're obviously extremely comfortable with each other (and of course i see the flirting and banter and mirroring and how it sounds like they already knew every single answer the other one is gonna give and it's fucking adorable how they sometimes get lost looking at each other and how freely and easily they touch each other), but if you think about interviews where Harry actually said to Zayn, about Louis: "Don't say that.. that he's gay!" "Lou, can I give you a blowjob?" "Louis'.. Louis' boyfriend!" "And I'd marry you, Harry." "If you were a girl, who would you date?" - Louis: "Harry." "For my Valentine.. I'd choose you, Harry" "My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson." "Are you and Louis dating?" Harry: *nods & blushes* "Oh, that girl looks like Harry", then Louis: "Marriage. Sex, everything." "Female." - Harry: "Not that important." "With a man?" - Harry: "Hey, don't knock it 'till you try it!" "What does Harry taste like?" - Louis: "Salt and vinegar." and their million domestic tweets at and about each other

..and these are only the ones that quickly came to me off the top of me head! There's like dozens and dozens more, oftentimes where words weren't even said and they just touched each other.. and oh my god.. the FRISCO interview, of course, where they almost climbed into each other's laps while also declaring "some people genuinely think.. they GeNuiNeLy think that we're together!" and Harry just nods, all dazed and still wearing his cock-appointment-blush and they say it again and again, yet curiously forget to say "but it's not true" lmfaooo and the air kisses and sign language love declarations and their at least 7 matching tattoos (that we know of).. the absolutely besotted way they looked at each other from day one... the way they verbally supported each other.. defended each other and got obviously jealous over someone else touching either of them.. and the rings Harry was gifted by Louis that's still wearing almost 12 years later... like--

all of this happened without them being interviewed just the two of them or even getting a fucking segment just the two of them during things like 1D Day!

and all of this compared to how they behaved with each other during those Paris interviews.. the ones that were -to Modest! obviously too much... i mean, let's be SO fr.. in my personal opinion, those interviews are very tame compared to everything else. they're rather sweet and polite, honestly. they didn't even touch each other much; not nearly as much as they did in group interviews, because obviously that is safer, because you've got a lot more distraction for the eye with 5 guys instead of 2.

And they were the same age in Paris as they were for a lot of the things they let slip in other interviews then, where they didn't think they were being filmed or picked up by a microphone.

Obviously, the fact that they -so early on- were tried to be kept separated like that portrays just how desperate Clowndest! tried to do "damage control". And or course they failed, but not for lack of squeezing these two into such a sinister iron closet for so many years; piling up contracted lies upon contracted lies that add to all the pressure of two young people who are giving their love a try.. the more lies they piled up, the harder would it be for them later on.

and now look where we are now.

Louis & Harry Paris Interviews

How many interviews are there of just Louis and Harry? I’m talking video interviews of L + H, sans Niall, Liam or Zayn to babysit them. There seem to only be a grand total of 2. And both took place on the same day. (February 14, 2012…Was it really on Valentine’s Day??) The Teemix interview below is broken up into 4 parts, but it’s all one interview.

This post actually took me longer than you might think because I tried so hard to find other video interviews of H + L. There aren’t any. Shocking, right?

L’Interview Paris - Fan2Fr

Highlights include: 

At 4:30 Louis reading Harry’s Hot and Dangerous on the fan-art: “Of course he’s hot” 

4:51 Harry says of Louis, “I would describe it more as funny and handsome and rugged…A bit more manly” and Louis gives the brightest most amused smile to the camera.

The looks they give each other at the end of the video with the whole ‘dangerous dave(?)’ thing. Many people hear Harry say ‘I’ll get you for that tonight’ in response. I suck at deciphering these things, but it would make sense given  Louis’ laughing reaction to it.

Teemix Interview 1 of 4

Louis’ face at 3:24 when waiting for Harry to describe Niall’s characteristics.

Louis softly pushing Harry’s hair back at 3:40 when describing him as ‘curly.’ He just..keeps..going..oh my god it’s adorable.

Teemix Interview 2 of 4

The way they finish each others’ sentences, talking about being normal lads. They seem so in sync and sound so relaxed about it.

At 0:38 – L: We still pop down to the shop every now and again– H: Bread and milk. L: Yep, the standard.

Teemix Interview 3 of 4

At 0:20 when describing their ideal girl, Harry corrects Louis’ ‘good sense of humour’ comment with ‘GREAT sense of humour’ and Louis nods ‘yeah’ with the most earnest, serious agreement I’ve ever seen from a person in a boyband answering a generic question. They’re clearly describing each other.

This entire segment is a ridiculous display of how calm and in sync these two are. Telling the story of Liam’s chat up lines, agreeing on their favourite date spots (1:35), Louis proudly suggesting ‘cook them their favourite meal’ (2:12), they’re so at ease with each other and so willing to agree on every little thing.

At 2:42 Louis tries to figure out how long he’s been with Eleanor and Harry suggests ‘a year?’. Harry’s just straight-up laughing at this point and again, clearly talking about him and Louis.

‘I would definitely say Harry is the most confident with girls’ and then he GRINS.

The way they’re smiling at each other at the end is too much. Louis tells Harry, ‘you’re on a whole new level of charm, man’ and can’t stop grinning.

Here’s a slow-mo gif of Louis’ cute head roll, when faced with having to choose his favourite love song. 

Teemix Interview 4 of 4

They cut off Louis at 1:52 here and it makes me realise I can’t even imagine what the unedited version of these L + H interviews is like…

[ladykailitha]

Around the World Part 6

Hello! And welcome to another chapter of this very underrated fic. Thank you to everyone who has given it love in the way of comments, reblogs/tags, and likes.

It's London calling! And we meet a Murray Bauman in the wild. Eddie and Steve get a little introspective and Steve does something rash.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

~

Their trip through the haunting and beautiful Ireland was amazing. So many tales and history. This is why Steve wanted to do more than just America like Eddie had originally wanted, because America just didn’t have the history Europe and other places did. Not unless you wanted to disturb actual First Nation people and that was something he wanted to avoid at all cost, thank you.

They were on the ferry from Northern Ireland to Scotland and Steve was looking out over his shoulder at the water as he leaned against the guardrail. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the wind to blow through his hair.

Eddie slid his arm around him and Steve laid his head on his shoulder.

Today Eddie had his beard and faux-dreadlocks in a light blue button up shirt and cream colored wide-legged pants. His chunky sunglasses covered the his face.

“You know,” Eddie murmured, “until we reached this leg of our journey and you started to disguise me, I didn’t realize how much I missed just being Eddie Munson, regular guy. I can really see the appeal of you and friends’ way of doing it.”

“Yeah,” Steve said softly. “Of course it means that we can’t go all out and buy everything we want, stay in fancy hotels, show up at restaurants without a reservation and get in. But I can go into my local grocery store and buy two tubs of mint ice cream because I felt like it.” He lifted his head to look Eddie in the eye. “Like some Karen would judge me, but it’s not going to go up on TMZ that I’m letting myself go.”

God, Eddie had had that happen more times than he cared to count. Like once Chrissy was on her period and he went to go get her chocolate, Ben and Jerry’s, and pads. Before he even got to his car it was all over the internet that he was letting himself go, just because it was 2am and his best friend needed something to help her feel better.

“You think you’ll ever come out?” he asked, pulling Steve in closer.

It was a familiar and well-worn topic of theirs; whether or not Steve would ever come out as bisexual at least.

He ducked his head and looked away. He didn’t know. He didn’t like hiding parts of himself for those he loved. He would like to tell people this is the love of my life.

“Would you leave me if I said no?” he mumbled, not daring to look up.

Eddie placed his finger under Steve’s chin and lifted his head gently. “Of course not, Stevie. There are literal actors who have been married for years and no one knows. It’s just between them. We could do that too. Just a quiet ceremony, Robin and Chrissy as the witnesses, and a justice of the peace.”

Steve let out a weak sort of watery laugh and shook his head. “I want all our friends there, famous and otherwise. I want a full tilt party with music playing into the early hours of the morning. I want fancy tuxes and flowers galore. I know I might not get that, the absolute coward that I am. But if I marry you, it be to scream from the rooftops that I love you.”

Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “Softy.” Steve blushed. “Besides there is nothing in the world that says we can’t have it both ways. Have a quiet little ��just us’ and then go full tilt when you come out. You don’t even have to tell anyone. Just a little comfort that I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “I’ll think about it.”

Eddie kissed him deeply and then tucked his head under his chin and they stayed like that until the ferry docked in Scotland.

~

God, Scotland and England were beautiful countries Eddie decided as he watched the rolling green hills from his train window. That was another thing he really liked about Europe in general, just all the different ways to travel that weren’t a car.

He looked over at Steve who had his glasses on and reading a book. He smiled at the title. His boyfriend wasn’t a fantasy fan or science fiction either, really, but put a clever mystery in his hands and you would have to pry to the book from his cold, dead fingers.

He glanced over at Chrissy and Robin who were playing Go Fish! They had asked him if he wanted to join them, but he passed. He rarely got time to just relax and watch the scenery go by when he was on tour. He was always doing something related to the band. Writing music, practicing, talking about the next venue, interview, or TV spot.

Him and his friends had fun, because of course they did. But it was nice to just let his mind wander. Currently he was sad that they were going to have to miss Wales this time. He really wanted to buy some Welsh gold jewelry. It’s super rare and absolutely gorgeous.

Maybe he would have to come back later and get something special for Steve. Just something simple like matching bands even if it wasn’t on the left hand. Or necklaces. Just something simple to prove they were it for each other.

“I made an appointment with a well-known tattoo artist in London,” Steve said nonchalant, but like he was reading Eddie’s thoughts.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to Steve. Robin nearly giving herself whiplash in her speed.

“As your friend, manager, and platonic soulmate,” she said darkly, “I advise against that. You can cover it up but someone, somewhere will see it.”

Steve looked up from his book and leveled her with his best bitchy glare. “Not if it’s on my ass.”

Chrissy and Eddie’s eyebrows shot up and they shared a shocked glance. Eddie always loved tattoos, he had a couple of stick and poke style ones from when he was young and stupid and couldn’t afford to pay for an artist to do the job, but there was one place, well technically two if you included his dick, which he absolutely did, that he refused to get a tattoo on and that was his ass. Not being able to sit down properly for what would probably be weeks was not his idea of a good time.

“Not really, though, right?” Chrissy asked with a grimace.

Steve took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Of course not really. Sheesh, you guys. But I hid fucking hickies from the both of you for a year and you never noticed, so I’m pretty sure I can hide one fucking tattoo.”

Robin and Chrissy shared their little ‘manager’ glance and Chrissy folded first.

“You’re right, Steve,” she said calmly. “Not once did you forget or slip up and you should be applauded for that. But is there a reason you’re deciding to get a tattoo now instead of waiting until we’re back in the States and you can use Eddie’s personal artist?”

He looked over at Robin and their little telepathy thing went off again and this time Robin folded first.

“It’s for Eddie,” she murmured. “They can’t be out as a couple and with Steve being the romantic that he is, wouldn’t want to get married without all his friends there, so this is his way of telling Eddie he isn’t going anywhere either.”

Eddie blinked for a moment. “Do you think they take walk-ins?”

“I booked it for both of us.” Steve smiled at him and took his hand. Eddie beamed back at him.

“They are so disgustingly cute,” Robin huffed, crossing her arms. “I bet Steve has this really sweet idea for a tattoo that even if people do notice it they won’t be able to tell the meaning but he and Eddie will know and be so sickeningly precious about it.”

Eddie gave him a huge kiss on the cheek. “I love my super clever boyfriend and can’t wait to see what this brilliant plan is.”

~

Steve’s brilliant plan was half of a white mask on Eddie’s inner wrist and half of guitar on Steve’s and when they held hands it formed almost heart.

The tattoo artist was really impressed with the idea and was more than happy to implement it. Steve walked out of there, completely smug as Chrissy pointed out. Deservedly so.

They were to stay in London for three days because of all the haunted places in London alone, there were so many worth visiting. They were going to start at Jack the Ripper tour and move onto the tour of London.

The tour they learned with deep dismay had accidentally been scheduled at 2pm and not 2am like Eddie had thought it said. It was so boring and their tour guide so dull, Eddie accidentally tripped of one of those concrete pillars they had in the middle of the sidewalk to prevent cars from driving up on it.

“Oof!” Eddie wheezed as he straightened up. “Why do they even put those things here?”

“Chrissy Cunningham,” a nasally voice said from behind them. “What are you doing in my neck of the woods?”

They all turned slowly to see a weaselly little bald man with thick horn-rimmed glass.

“Holy shit,” Chrissy said slowly. “Murray Bauman, as I live and breath. What the hell are you doing in London?”

He shrugged. “Eking out a living doing tours for bored tourists. When the biggest metal band in the world drops you, so does everyone else.”

Chrissy and Eddie shared a grimace. Corroded Coffin had deliberately did that to Nancy after the shit she pulled with Steve and trying to be The Fallen’s agent. But this one was a complete accident.

“Oh fuck off,” Robin said with a grin. “You love it. I can tell. You have actual notes written down, you have a map marked with all the spots the murders take place. I bet you have all the great stories.”

Murray flushed and cocked his head to the side. “I mean I didn’t want to brag. But yeah, certainly better than Molly over there.” He jutted his thumb at their tour guide. “Most of the good ones are from tour companies and then you get people like Molly who make it look legit online and trick people into taking day tours.”

“God, I was so bored,” Eddie huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I felt jet lagged.”

Murray’s eyes instantly narrowed and cocked his head to the side and instantly everyone else tensed up. He took in their reactions and mimed zipping his mouth shut.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “if you’re still in town tomorrow, meet me here at 9pm and I’ll give you a proper tour.”

Chrissy licked her lips slowly. “Or what?”

“Huh?” He was confused for a moment before he smacked his forehead. “Oh! No, no. I’m not going to blackmail you. Holy shit. If people want to enjoy a vacation without all the publicity, good on them.” He looked Eddie up and down. “Looks good on you kid.”

Eddie was suddenly glad for the large sunglasses and beard because it hid the blush on his cheeks.

“No, I’m just saying,” Murray continued, “that if you wanted to experience a proper Jack the Ripper tour, I’m willing to do it. I don’t have a tour currently booked and beside I like her.” He pointed at Robin, who grinned back him.

The four them all shared glances at each other.

“I’m down,” Steve said with a shrug. “If you’re as good as you say you are and aren’t trying to actively ‘get back’ at Chrissy for taking your job, I know I’d be interested in seeing what Whitechapel has to offer after dark.”

“I like him too,” Murray said brightly, rubbing his hands together. “So what do the rest of you say?”

“Aye, aye, Captain!” Steve’s three menaces said together.

He just smiled fondly and shook his head.

~

Part 7

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina

[thelonelyshore-if]

sfw for perri?

Tysm Nonnie!! Perri sfw alphabet beneath the cut c:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Perri is pretty affectionate! They’re not the most touchy-feely person in the world outside of a relationship, but I think dating someone would make them a little more physical. They like hugs and really enjoy holding hands. They really enjoy quality time with a partner, and they definitely show affection by sharing music c:

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Oooh Perri’s a great friend. They have a lot of self-doubt but are very loyal–though they can be a bit clingy with those they’re closest to. They’re quite fun to hang out with; especially if you catch them during their show. Perri’s willing to start a friendship with basically anybody who seems interested in what they have to say (and doesn’t seem like they’re going to make fun of them for it).

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

In a relationship, Perri loves to cuddle; though, they can get a bit overwhelmed with too much touch. Their favorite way to cuddle would be spooning and listening to music together.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Perri would like to settle down, I think! They’re a romantic and love the idea of a long-term partner. They’re a decent cook, but they can be a little messy. Their place is never dirty or anything, but it gets cluttered. Lots of piles of books and CDs and records and half-finished glasses of water everywhere. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Oof god uhhhh. I don’t know? Perri hates conflict and is so insecure it would be a huge struggle. They’d be crying the entire time, I think, and really struggle to get the words out. It would be messy as hell.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage? Eventually, someday, maybe. Perri likes the idea of marriage well enough, though it feels very Big right now. They’ve never had a serious relationship, after all. Someday, though; and they’d like a committed relationship even sooner. As soon as possible, actually. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Perri is made out of tissue paper.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Perri loves hugs and they’re good at giving them. Very soft and warm and tight but not too tight, you know? They get very stressed about making things awkward so the hug would never go on too long or anything. Just right.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I think they’d want to wait, but it would slip out without them realizing fairly quickly. And then they’d blush and stutter and be like, “OhmygodIhopethat’sokaydon’thatemeit’swaytoosoon” and it would take MC calming them down for them to just be like…”It’s the truth, though. I do.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Hmmm…they don’t get jealous as much as they get insecure. Less ‘I’m upset you’re flirting with someone else’ and more ‘Am I not good enough??”. And they’d just avoid the subject, half-convinced that they’re about to lose it all.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Shy but eager! Very uncertain but they’d get very into it very quickly. They like stealing any kisses they can get–little pecks on the cheeks, dustings of kisses on your hands, lips pressed into your shoulder. No preference–same for being kissed.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Awkward but fun. They like kids a lot but also don’t really know how to interact with them. Would very eagerly have a conversation with a child about mothman though.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Groggy and silent. Perri’s a talkative person, for all of their nervous energy, but after a long night of not sleeping, they’re fairly zombie-esque in the morning. They take a tiny break from their show, long enough to (fail to) sleep, shower, and get breakfast. All of their anxious energy and cheer will be dulled in the mornings, but they’d still be happier to have you along for the ride.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Opposite–hyped up, excited. Chances are almost every night will be spent running their show, unless there’s something else going on, like a monster hunt or a holiday. They’re energized, excited, more confident. The moonlight gives them strength. As the night goes on and they don’t sleep they fade more and more, but nighttime is their element. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Perri’s a pretty open book; especially because they occasionally will say things without thinking. They blurt out whatever’s on their mind. Even their Trauma and their Lore comes pretty quickly, though they’ll be awkward and embarrassed about it.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Eh, it depends. If you do something to piss them off it takes surprisingly little–but there are very few things that will do that. Mocking them or insisting that they’re wrong in their beliefs is a big one, as is insulting the people they care about. Overall, though, they don’t get angry terribly often.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Perri will remember every single random weird fun fact about you and then forget your birthday. Their memory issues don’t do them any favors, but any information that their brain decides is interesting will be remembered forever.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Ah, this one will be hard to do. Hm. Instead I’ll tease a future moment, how about? Perri’s first date will be a conversation under the stars c:

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Hmmm…I wouldn’t call them protective, exactly. Perri isn’t really a fighter. Most likely they’d fall back on their knowledge and their research to try and solve problems. They wouldn’t mind being physically protected, though–they like feeling safe.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

They’d try quite hard, though their memory could cause some issues! They very much so obsess over finding the ‘perfect’ gift, and would try to plan fun dates. That being said, they sometimes can get carried away by what they want to do.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

They have a habit of letting their insecurities win. They’ll ask if you’re mad at them and then struggle to believe you–oftentimes asking again. And maybe again. It’s something they definitely need to work through. On a lighter note, they never finish their drinks. Not a problem, until the bathroom counter is covered in 5 half-empty glasses of water.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Eh, they’re not any more insecure about their looks than they are anything else. In fact, I think more than anything it’s their personality that they stress about. They think they look fine. They don’t consider themself attractive, but they like their clothes and their accessories and their hair, and that’s good enough for them.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Oh interesting. Hm. Not on the front end–they don’t feel incomplete now–but after being in a relationship for a long time, I could see it. They’d end up very close to a partner, and it wouldn’t feel right without that person after being together for years.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Their favorite candy flavor is green apple, their favorite movie is Tremors, and if they knew what pokemon was, their partner pokemon would be reuniclus.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Perri struggles with skeptics. They respect the desire to pursue logic, but they hate it when people act like they’re crazy for believing in the supernatural. They know their experiences are real, and even if they weren’t…where’s your whimsy? Don’t you want the world to be magical? It isn’t a dealbreaker (unless you’re an asshole about it), but it isn’t their favorite trait in a partner, either.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

On the few occasions they’re actually able to sleep, they find that they never remember their dreams. It bums them out. The least their brain can do is give them fun scenarios to dream about.

[demigodsanswer]

Percabeth Royal AU + First Time

I also got sent royalty AU + baby fic, so I'm going to combine them!

Vaguely high fantasy setting, but with more or an ancient Greek aesthetic than medieval England.

Annabeth is first in line for her mother's throne. Percy is like 5th or 6th inline his father's. And he'd probably never get it anyway. He's a legitimized former bastard after his father married his (low born) mistress after the death of his first wife.

But the two of them grew up together, and get along really well, and have stayed in contact through the years, even if they haven't seen each other in person in a while.

So when it comes time for Annabeth to make an adventurous match, she floats Percy's name. The marriage would strengthen the alliance to a formerly-rival nation, he's not so important as to cause trouble, but he is legitimate.

Athena isn't thrilled about this, but she allows Annabeth to make the proposal because she knows if she doesn't allow Annabeth to do the proper thing she wants to do, then Annabeth will do whatever she wants to do the improper way. Athena doesn't really expect Poseidon to accept.

But of course he does. This is a marriage well above what he expected for Percy. The marriage is arranged, and now it's time for Percy to finally see his best friend again.

He arrives, and he is the most handsome man Annabeth has ever seen. And that she wasn't expecting. She'd last seen him eight years ago, when he was a pimply 13 year old who was shorter than her. He wasn't that anymore.

And Percy is thinking similar things about her. He's pretty sure they're going to have a great marriage.

Athena's kingdom is a little more (a lot more) regressive on ideas of virginity, particularly for high-born girls, particularly for the heir apparent. So Annabeth has never so much as kissed someone in a meaningful way. She's read books, experimented with a few things on her own, and that's it. And Percy's culture expects proof of consummation the next day as part of the wedding contract. So Annabeth knows she will be losing her virginity on her wedding night. It's been discussed at length, much to her shame.

A week before the wedding, she confesses to Percy that she's nervous. Or, rather, she expresses her nerves by asking: "On the wedding night, what should I do?"

"What?"

"Is there something I should do to prepare? Is there something you like that I should learn about?"

"Uh ... no. I just want you to be comfortable and relaxed as much as you can. I will try to make it good for you."

"In your experience, do women do anything that makes it more relaxing?"

And Percy just has to sheepishly confess that he doesn't have experience of his own. "I'm a bastard. I never wanted to condemn my own child to that fate. Or disgrace a lady like that. Or pay for it and end up with some pox I'd give to my wife. So I've just ..."

"So we're both virgins, then?" Annabeth asks, not really realizing that that's a bit embarrassing for Percy in ways it's not for her.

"Yes," he said.

"That actually makes me feel a lot better."

The wedding night ends up being incredibly ... fine. It's romantic for sure. But the sex itself takes a few tries to get right, and then ends abruptly. But there's enough evidence the next morning to make the marriage count.

Conceiving an heir isn't a problem. Keeping it is. Annabeth has three miscarriages the first year. She and Percy decide to stop having sex for a little while, to let her body recover and let them both recover emotionally.

They end up taking a tour of the nation six months after they stop having sex (or P in V sex, they figure out the alternatives), and on the tour, they stop by a secluded waterfall. The guards are a little ways away, and they decide to fully enjoy the water.

They're hidden behind the waterfall, and Percy is so happy to be inside her again, he just starts talking about how his people worship the water, and believe they emerged from the sea itself, and that water is healing and life-giving.

When Annabeth suspects she's pregnant again about two months later, she insists they continue the tour because "it will be over soon."

But it isn't.

She returns to court wider than she left. This one she carries to term -- a healthy little baby girl.

They start conceiving all their babies in the water, just to be safe.

[softquietsteadylove]

Hello love, how are you doing? 🩷🤍

I saw this meme today and i can only think of thenamesh

I feel like Thena would try to set up a romantic dinner for her husband, with candels and flowers, and she would also try to cook, she wants to make a perfect dinner for her perfect husband.

But when Gil arrives to the aparment it smells like burned food, the smoke detector is going off, Thena is on a chair trying to turn it off and the kitchen is a mess.

Gil checked his phone yet again. Thena had told him that she wanted to try being the one to take care of their anniversary this year. Exactly by what means, he didn't know, but she wanted to surprise him, and he thought it was sweet.

According to her, she had even left work early to set things up so that he could come home to things already in motion. He had to admit he was excited, if maybe cautious.

Things like this hadn't always worked in his wife's favour. Not for lack of trying, she did want to be the romantic one from time to time--spoil him with gestures and sweet words. But cooking wasn't her strength, she wasn't much of a poet, and sometimes she got herself more worked up than anything.

He always tried to tell her that she spoiled him when she agreed to marry him. Every little affection she gave and allowed was a gesture. And he didn't need her to do anything big or romantic to know that she loved him.

Thena wasn't one for words, but she did value loyalty and actions reflecting who a person was. That was what made them such a good team.

Gil got off the elevator. The first thing he noticed was the smokey smell in the air. And they didn't live in a building that allowed smoking. He picked up his pace a little.

The next thing that hit him was the sound of the smoke alarm. He picked up his pace even more. He had a bad feeling about this, and the further down the hall he got, the worse it set in.

He was right in his feeling, arriving at the door to their apartment and knowing the alarm was coning from inside. He fumbled with his keys in his rush to get inside. Without a thought to denting the wall behind it, he threw the door open, "Thena!"

There his wife was, in all her glory. She had flour all over her, something on her cheek and her sleeves. She was standing on one of the dining chairs trying to fan the smoke alarm with a towel that looked suspiciously charred on the corners. All the windows were open, but the oven was simply giving off too much noxious gas.

Thena looked up as he burst in. She attempted to smile, "hey...honey."

He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. On the one hand, his wife was safe, and that was all that truly mattered. But he couldn't completely drown out the cacophonous background surrounding them. The kitchen was a disaster, he could see candles and another possible fire hazard on the table--a vase of flowers that seemed a little sparse on one side. He didn't even want to imagine what was actually cooking in the oven.

Thena took his silence for condemnation. She pinched her lips closed, climbing down from the chair now that the smoke alarm was silent again. She wrung the ruined dishtowel in her hands. "I'm so sorry, Gil."

He just stared as she slinked over to him, her delicate shoulders bunched up tight.

"I really wanted to do something special for you," she admitted in a miserably small voice. Her throat tightened. "I studied this recipe, and I was going to have it ready when you got home, and I picked up flowers, and-"

He shook his head, pulling her into his arms at the first sign of tears. Thena wasn't much of a crier, but he knew that when it did happen, there was truly a huge amount of feelings stuck inside of her. He rubbed her back, "hey, hey, sh, it's okay."

"But-" she mumbled, smothered by the softness of his sweater. "You're always-"

"Sweetheart, I love that you tried to put on a big, romantic anniversary dinner," he chuckled, kissing her forehead. She pulled her head up to pout at him, unsatisfied with his lacklustre comforting. He smiled at her, though. "You really went all out!"

She sighed heavily, letting him turn her in his arms so they could truly assess the damage. "There's something of a pot roast in the oven."

"Pot roast, huh?" he mused aloud for the sake of it. He was already running through the recipe, wondering what on earth could have possibly tripped her up so much as to cause this amount of damage.

"I also attempted yorkshire puddings," she lamented, tilting her head up at him behind her. "I know how you love them."

He did love them--he had grown a fondness for a lot of English recipes, against all odds. And he could see how the scorching hot oil - as required for good, proper puddings - could have gone up in smoke.

"I'm sorry," she sighed again, going back to burying herself in his chest. "This isn't the anniversary surprise I intended."

He kissed the top of her head again, swaying them with his arms around her. "Are you kidding? You made pot roast and homemade puds?--with your track record?"

She gave his side a pinch, which was a good sign.

"This is amazing," he rested his cheek on her hair. Thena hated cooking of any kind, and not just because she was bad at it, and she wasn't bad at it just because she hated it. But despite that, she had tackled what even seasoned home cooks dreaded, just for him.

She sniffled away the last of her self pity, pushing at him. "You should go and rest. You've had a long day. Let me clean up my mess."

"Nice try," he chuckled, as if his teeny-tiny wife was going to be able to push him anywhere. Thena was stronger than she looked, sure, but he was stronger. He captured her around the waist again. "We're gonna get this cleaned up together. Then we're gonna get some fresh clothes on, and you can find us a place that makes the second-best yorkshire puddings in town."

"Second best?" she challenged.

He scratched the base of her spine in the way that made her shiver. "After mine, obviously."

"Obviously," she murmured as he lifted her off her feet just enough to walk them over to the sink. "You don't have to help me."

"For better or worse, sweetie," he reminded her as he bent to take a look at just what had happened in his precious oven. He used the dishtowel - singed as it was - and an oven mitt to retrieve her labours of love.

All things considered, the pot roast looked pretty good, although maybe the vegetables surrounding it were a little black on the edges. And to his surprise, despite the black stains of inflamed oil all along the bottom of the oven, the puddings did actually puff. He plucked at one with his fingers, and it wasn't stuck in the least.

"Gil?"

He even managed to pop it into his mouth. "Y'know, I've had worse."

"You're not serious," she droned. Although, when he offered her one, even she couldn't deny that the colour and shape of it wasn't grotesque. She sniffed it.

"So, you made a smoked pot roast," he shrugged, chomping on another pudding. "It's pretty good, babe."

She took a more critical bite of it, staring him down the whole time, looking for any indication that he was lying to spare her feelings. But she conceded her pleasant surprise as she chewed. "it's not awful."

"I think it was just the oil," he shrugged. If she had used olive oil, which he was guessing she did, it would have started smoking immediately, and it did explain the slight bitterness to the outside of them. But that aside, they really weren't bad little pastries. He took another one, "I'd say you did a bang up job!"

She rolled her eyes at him, as she always did when he tried to put on some form of a bad cockney accent. But she smiled as she swiped away some crumbs from his lips. "Thank you, love."

He leaned in, capturing her lips, sharing in the taste of bitter olive oil and yorkshire pudding dough. "I should be thanking you. This is one hell of a surprise."

"Hm," she pulled away, looking from the kitchen to the dining room table, still set, although at least the candles were extinguished. "I wouldn't say it was positive."

"Hey," he nudged her, asking for another kiss (which she granted). He touched his forehead to hers. "You're supposed to say 'happy anniversary, Gil, I love you too'."

Thena laughed, which completely drowned out the rest of the stress of the mess they had to clean and anything that could come out of the rest of the night. Her hands found their home on his chest as he kissed down her temple to her cheek, "happy anniversary, darling."

"That's more like it," he grinned, finally arriving at the angle of her jaw and the curve of her neck. She pushed at him again before he could distract them both from the task at hand. He pouted at her.

"Mess," she ordered, with her hand trailing lovingly over his arm. "Then food, then fun."

His eyes sparked, "fun?"

His blonde fox of a wife gave him a look that was both sly and coquettish as she unwrapped his apron from around her. "This was not the only component I had in mind for you. And it would be truly impossible to light the other part aflame."

"I dunno, I feel pretty hot under the collar," he chuckled as he eagerly started running the tap. He would scrub the oven out properly this weekend. For now, he had a lovely evening to spend with his wife.

[cowboy-robooty]

do you like komahina

yes

[elvesofnoldor]

the vampire lestat in audiobook format is 24 hours long and i finished listening to it in a week, meanwhile merrick is only 8 hours long and it took me three weeks to chew through the whole fucking thing. it's not even very badly written, i just really hate it when anne rice turned the dial up to 11 on her Sympathy with the P*dophile bullshit

[arospecsyourblockdudes]

The two sims I had that I loved the most of them all were Oliver and Bruno Maynard-Moon. They started out as a challenge for myself to see how long I could keep a werewolf and vampire living together while pretending to be human (not doing anything obviously spooky in from of the other basically) and turned into an epic romance I’ll never be over them

[daydreamerdrew]

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #247

[oveliagirlhaditright]

LOL. In the Buffy tie-in book I read ("Unnatural Selection"), Buffy had to come up with the cover story that she and Angel were married and had two daughters: Ginger and Joy. And she came up with those names because ginger (the spice) was right in front of her, and the brand of the dishwasher she owned was "Joy"?

But an AU--or better yet, a continuation of this--where they have daughters and actually name them that. Pfft.

Also, interestingly enough, in these tie-in books, Buffy dreams of having kids with Angel quite a few times (like in moments where she gets to see her perfect life).

Not that that's what this was, but it's still definitely interesting.

[readwritealldayallnight]

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who from the moment he laid eyes on you, has only ever referred to you as his wife

You, this sweet little thing, running through the halls on base one day when you turn a corner and nearly run headfirst into the Lieutenant, who’s walking alongside Soap

“Oh! Sorry about that, sir.” You told him, never slowing down in your hurried pace as you snuck around his large frame and continued down towards whatever you were evidently late for

The only reason his gaze had followed your retreating form, was that unlike everyone else, you had met in his eyes when you spoke, even smiled warmly up at him

That one smile and he was done for

“Who was tha’?” The sergeant had questioned, seeing Ghost’s attention still fixated on you.

“Think that was my wife.”

“Yer what?!”

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who makes it a point to let everyone know that you are in fact his wife

Well, everyone apart from you apparently

He would certainly never abuse his position as a Lieutenant, but some new recruit had the audacity to whistle at you as you walked by? Well 100 laps around the base don’t exactly run themselves

Another soldier saved you a seat next to him in a briefing? He can enjoy scrubbing toilet seats for the next week in that case

Someone actually had the bollocks to ask you for your phone number? Perfect, he needed a volunteer for demonstrating hand to hand combat to the recruits, medics on standby of course

By the time he properly introduces himself to you for the first time, it’s understood by everyone else around that you are, for all intents and purposes, Mrs Riley

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who listens to you tell him your name in a voice that resembles music to his ears, hardly bothering to remember your last name, seeing as it’ll be changing soon enough anyway

“You can call me anythin’ you want, love.” His deep, gravelly voice had sent shivers down your spine, cheeky smirk widening beneath his mask. “So long as you call me, that is.”

By the end of your first date, (you were sitting alone in the dining hall and he wordlessly joined you what do you mean this isn’t a date) he’s wondering if you’ll insist on a ceremony or if he can sweep you away to the nearest courthouse and make this official, slipping a ring onto you finger and his cock into you

You had laughed when he put his number into your phone and named himself ‘Husband’, certain that the man was only messing with you, some kind of hazing that you apparently weren’t aware Lieutenants played on the new communications hire, but it was only fair seeing as he’d saved your contact under ‘Wife’

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who is over the moon every time you play along, even if he knows you believe you’re only playing

“Ach, thanks Lt. Just what I needed.” Soap said, seeing Ghost’s approaching form enter the common room, holding a steaming cup of tea in each hand

“S’for my wife. Get your own.” The older man gruffly replied, sliding the mug onto the side table next to where you’re curled up on the couch, reading a book

“Aw, thank you honey.” You giggled, smiling up as him with an expression he thinks would taste even sweeter than honey if he were to run his tongue across your upturned lips

“Happy wife, happy life, sergeant.” Ghost shrugged, ignoring the other man’s pout, landing next to you and reaching an arm behind you across the back of the couch

“God, maybe I really should keep you.” You’d laughed, reaching a leg out to dig your socked toes into his muscled thigh, teasing him

Grasping your foot into his large, strong hands, he began massaging it, uncaring that you were only two of the many people in the common room, not when you looked at him like that, smiling together as though you truly were nothing more than a married couple

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who surprised you one day, insisting he needed your help with something crucial off base, and drove you to a local shopping outlet to look at none other than dresses

“Is there some sort of party happening?” You’d questioned, confused out of your mind

“Suppose you could consider it a party.” He’d answered, leading you through the many racks of dresses, you noticed were all, very conveniently, white

“Now while you’re lookin’ through dress sizes,” he’d added, taking your left hand in both of his. “You know your ring size? Got my own shoppin’ to do ‘round here.”

[shatterthefragments]

HELP HES JUST 😍

(It would never happen even if we both wanted to bc he smokes but I went to school with him and have always been enamoured)

Visual Artist, fibre artist, Bassist, harpist(?), clarinetist, makes/produces own music (like do I want to smooch or just BE him?)

[x-i-l-verify]

Stolas is a moral scapegoat – "a character that is bad, but the book/movie/show portrays them as good". It's characterized by the story twisting itself to make one character look good.

Helluva Boss takes place in Hell. A horrible place filled with horrible people, the root of all evil. Stolas fits right in there. He was already problematic, awful, fed into Hell's broken system. Why try to cover up his faults? It's Hell, and it was great. But now, we're supposed to pretend he's just flawed.

Why Stolas is a Terrible Person/Character

Oh this will be long. In this post I will cover why Stolas is a character that fundamentally fails at everything it tries to accomplish. I probably have to say that you can love Stolas. That's just why I hate him.

Trigger warnings for: Racism, casteism, power dynamics, sexual assault, sa apologism, abuse, and neglectful parenting. A lot, I know, but that's Stolas.

His Actions in S1

Despite the title, there will be two examples from season 2.

Racism/Casteist

Stolas is from the upper caste, a royal. He seem to often fetishize imps, or the fact that he's sleeping with someone who's less than him. I even saw fans pointing this out. He have empathized Blitzø being an imp in a sexual context.

(Notice the use of words: "little", "plaything", to me this is blatant racism and fetishism).

He also showed a certain lack of empathy for his imp butler.

Stolas isn't particularly violent, he doesn't choke people left and right. He's just angry, at Stella, so he decides to.. choke the imp.

Stolas has been dehumanizimg imps. Fetishizing an imp for being an imp, calling him an "impish little plaything", and he has been willing to choke an imp just because he was angry at something unrelated. He's racist and casteist.

Treatment of Blitzø

"Treatment" is putting it lightly. In the first episode, Stolas does something inexcusable that will taint their dynamic for all of season 1. First, he sees Blitzø in a vulnerable position, where he cannot think or negotiate. Thus, stripping him of what little choice he has on what he's about to offer.

What Stolas is saying is, "Fuck me or I'll shut down your business". This deal he makes is just a threat with extra steps. Which, is a real life abuse tactic called Quid Pro Quo:

"Quid pro quo harassment occurs when someone in a position of authority over another directly or indirectly demands sexual favors in exchange for some benefit, or to avoid some detriment in the workplace".

One element I haven't brought up yet, is the political power imbalance. Stolas is royalty, one with a lot of power, influence, credibility, etc. Blitzø has non of that. Other characters have commented on that the fact that Blitzø even has a business is a miracle.

There are so many layers of imbalance and how Blitzø has no choice or agency. A royal is """offering""" the powerless a Quid Pro Quo while he's in a life threatening situation.

And their dynamic looks exactly like you'd imagen. Stolas is consistently sexualizing him against his consent. (As it's been established, Stolas's racism feeds into this). And refuses to do the surface level courtesy, not even calling him his real name (x).

Stolas treats Blitzø as a lesser being, violates his boundries, forces himself on him, and strips him of all autonomy.

Faliure as a Father

Stolas's role as a father is directly tackled in Loo Loo Land and Seeing Stars. At the beginning, both episodes show Stolas being a good father to Octavia, but does this still hold true in the currect day? Well, no.

In Loo Loo Land, Stolas wants to take Octavia to a theme park. Octavia is 17, and Stolas ignores her when she says she doesn't want to go. (In retrospect, Stolas coud be oblivious because he's projecting onto Via his experience meeting Blitzø).

But that's just the start. Stolas then invites Blitzø to the trip and harasses with him all throughout. Essentially, Stolas is forcing his daughter to watch as he harasses "the homewrecker", all the while he's supposed to be with her, on a trip she didn't even want to go to.

After a whole day of this, as expected, Octavia runs away. Stolas chases her. (And of course, he's still thinking of Blitzø on his way to find Via). There's an apology scene that looks deep, but when you dissect it, it's rather empty.

Stolas never actually provided an explanation as to why he just did what he did, nor of the "drama" with Stella. There is nothing here. Octavia only makes up with him because he said he isn't gonna leave her. Which is bare minimum.

After he realizes that his affair hurts his daughter to the point where she feared he's gonna leave her, what does he do? What practical actions does he take to improve? Divorce Stella? Cut off his deal with Blitzø? Explained the situation?

Nothing. And now we see he's willing to stand up on a stage and let people know.

In Seeing Stars, Stolas bashes Via's mother to her. Which, does she know about their situation? Does she not? She isn't shown to hate or.. anything Stella. Is he hiding the situation (which I'll cover), while also trashing her mother? That's impulsive and negligent.

But that's nothing. She later runs away, Stolas is stressed as he should be, but the second they arravie on earth he's all calm and everything's normal.

When his daughter is missing. When he is shown to be stressed, it's for the sake of plot. But he's willing to just chill, watching Blitzø's show.

Stolas is, dare I say it, neglectful. He might care about his daughter, but he's proven that she's not enough of a priority to focus on her when it matters.

Cheating

Yes, I know what ended up being revealed, I'll cover that. In season 1, the relationship is presented to not be perfect before Stolas cheated.

But there were instances that showed that what Stolas did changed their relationship for the worse. (Some additional rebuttals).

It could have been a loveless marrige, they could hae fallen out of love, they could have been arranged. But their relationship was manageable. Love or no love, it's a committed relationship. and Stella didn't deserve to get cheated on.

Who was Stolas?

Stolas's behavior is common among royals. Stella has no problem throwing said butler at Stolas (S1 E2), and the Goetias are shown to be casteist. They're untouchable privileged assholes. Stolas was born that wealth, never having to suffer the consequences of his actions. Always putting himself first, hurting others. He doesn't mean to, he wants for everyone to be happy, he does care. However, when it actually matters, he acts on his worst tendecises with no self control. He never had to learn self control. That is, until Ozzie's.

Before Ozzie, Blitzø and Stolas are at obligation. Stolas's actions had tainted them. There was one redeemable moment: He saved Blitzø's life. Stolas did something for him. But this one act of goodness doesn't magically fix anything.

Stolas's family life have been escalating. Stella hated Stolas for cheating and his daughter just had to take it. In Loo Loo Land, he learns the full weight of the damage he caused. And in the next episode we see him, he proceeds to take no steps to improve the situation. In the end of that same episode, we learn that Stella hired an assasin after him. Because he did nothing.

The season 1 finale, Ozzie's, is aware of all of this and absolutly delivers.

The episode starts with seeing Stolas alone, in his big house, miserable. It appears that Stella finally left the house. (Also he later says "Octavia is with her mother this weekend"). He's eating a bowl of cereal, pitying himself, wallowing in his despair. You feel bad for him, he looks so torn down.

And then Blitzø calls. The one he loves, asks him on a serious date. It's hope, it's honest, and it's exactly what he wanted. It's almost as if the universe handed him is fairytale scenario.

Almost. Reality smacks him right in the face on that date. Asmodeus calls him out on losing everything he had. He had a family, a happy daughter, but gave it all up for an affair.

Blitzø calls him out on treating him like a pet, not earning any of that emotional connection he wants or even communicating it, just violating him, they have nothing.

The show held him accountable and called him out. While it's not perfect, Stolas is a morally grey character. Now, a character arc was set up where he learns to treat people better. Stolas is exactly the character I want to see from a show like Helluva Boss. He's a horrible person, but nuanced, who does care.

Season 2

Yeah... all of that is thrown out the window. Because apparently, Stolas is just imperfect. He simply made a lot of mistakes. He misread a lot of situations, really it's all just an accident. He's an oblivious victim. So, let's get into the woobification of Stolas.

Surrounded by Evil

In The Circus we're given Stolas's ✨️backstory✨️. And we find out he had such a terrible life.

Stella is, and always was, an abusive evil bitch. From the day she was born. Pure evil.

So you see, Stolas did nothing wrong. Let me be clear, you are not obligated to stay loyal to your abuser. We can erase "cheater" off the list. But that's the only reason why it's done. So we can erase that off the list, and that we could feel oh-so-sad for him. Because Stella isn't written to be an abuser. She's a cartoonishly evil. We see a picture of her as a kid where she's the same person. Spongebob villians have more depth than her, you know, the abuser in the adult show. Helluva Boss reversed an established dynamic where Stella is the victim and Stolas is at fault, except without any of the depth or nuance.

But that's not all. Stolas's dad (Paimon) is also neglectful. By "neglectful" I mean, of course, a Saturday-morning cartoon villain.

He doesn't remember his name. This is such bullshit. I can buy Stolas having a horrible father. It's also not bad to show Stolas's trauma. What is bad is that the subject matter is handled with less seriousness as the fish fight in Spring Broken. And Helluva Boss did write Crimson as a serious abuser, the episode did have comedy, but not Paimon.

The reason why all of this is happening, is so we could feel bad for Stolas. They do zero of the work to earn a good story about abuse, but still go "Do you see how sad he is? Look at how they're treating this poor baby!!"

"Recontextualization"

In said ✨️backstory✨️, we also learn that Stolas and Blitzø are childhood friends. But also not really, they just hung out for one day. Where did this come from? How does that enrich the characters? I would tell you, but I don't know. However, what I'm sure of, is that it's done to make Stolas look less problematic.

DO YOU SEE HOW CUT THIS IS? He isn't just horny for that imp, he is special, it's absoultly pure! Don't worry, totally safe.

Later in the flashback, we see how Blitzø and Stolas reconnected after over 20 years. Apparently... Blitzø was the one who sexually manipulated Stolas, selling him that he wants him.

All Stolas did was just buying into Blitzø's narrative he was imposed on. It's a role he leaned into, because he thought Blitzø liked it. I.. WHAT??? If this horseshit is true, why did he make this weird r*pe deal with Blitzø? If Blitzø was the one who acted like he's interested at first, and he was sexually exploiting him, why did he lash out at Stolas in Ozzie's? Did it just hold no weight for Stolas? It went from "Don't pretend to have something when you've been harassing me this whole time" to "You misunderstood".

The Stolitz backstory makes no sense, it's cheap, and fixes nothing. No matter what the story is trying to sell, in season 1 Stolas knew what's happening enough to try to force it. And maybe Stolas wanted Blitzø because of a connection, he still harassed, dehumanized and violated him.

Note: Stolas realizing "he imagened the relationship" is completely ignored one episode later in Seeing Stars. This is a huge deal, didn't he learn? Just further evidence that he's willing to violate the guy. (x)

Before this backstory, we had a story of a selfish man hurting the person he loves while explointing the broken system and the power that he has over him for his own selfish desires that he's forcing on him. Now, we have the same thing, but with fanfic tropes – and the story refuses to confront that.

Casteism is Brushed Off

Helluva Boss pretends that Stolas isn't racist, because he didn't want Blitzø for being an imp, but for being his fanfic trope childhood friend. Which fails to adress the disgusting fetishism of Blitzø for being an imp, and he also continued to dehumanize his imp butler in Seeing Stars. He's still racist.

Imperfect Father

In The Circus, Stolas devivers this line: "The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty, was for that girl to have a normal life".

Sounds impressive, he stayed all these years just for his daughter. But that's the thing – it sounds impressive. Every time their relationship is the focus, Stolas is being the scum of the earth. What I see here, is a person. A person who despite being willing to stay passive, acts on his his selfish wants, forgetting to look around him. Mind you, this fact is also being revealed one episode after Ozzie's.

But no, one episode later, in Seeing Stars – that was covered as a prime example of everything I just descriped – Loona says this:

Yeah. He's just a good father "trying" his "best" and makes some.. "mistakes". The Circus did present Stolas as this, but Seeing Stars really solidified how his parenting will be handled moving forward. And I think it's comlete and utter dogshit.

Damsel in Distress

The title is a bit misleading. This section is mainly about Stolas's power being toned down. Both magical and in presentation.

In season 1, he was energetic and enthusiastic, while being able to set his foot down and intimidate when needed. He's still all of those things, but in some instances his characterization made my raise an eyebrow.

In Seeing Stars, he's being weirdly gentle with people kidnapping Blitzø and are later beatting him.

In Oops, he's excited to start negotiating with literal kidnappers. I have no idea why he's so nice.

(He did harass Blitzø again in Seeing Stars and bashed Striker, all of which isn't soft, but it's also the two moments where he should have shut up).

Further more, both of these conflict rely on Stolas not using his powers for some reason or another. Why didn't he just do whatever he did in Truth Seekers to track Fizz/Via?

About Via, I'm gonna have to call bullshit on the "My powers are limited on earth" nonsense because, for starters, kid Stolas is shown to remember the contents of his books and now he's been studying them for years. And two,

There is no excuse for Stolas to not use his powers and whenever the show says otherwise it's bullshitting its way out of it.

Even in Western Energy, before Stolas gets captured he was just aimlessly going in and out of his demon form. Why didn't he turn him into stone like he did in Loo Loo Land?

Stolas has been presented as weaker than he is. He's made to look more vulnerable, less "above it all". He was untouchable, and when he wasn't, it had a harder impact and made sense. Now, I almost forgot he's a powerful demon.

And his characterization is at the core of this issue. At times he's just so kind and gentle with people who should get smacked in their heads.

What about Ozzie's

The big clash, the one that called Stolas out on everything, the one that set him on a genuine path to grow, what about it? How is it adressed while the show tries to pretend he's a good person?

No, not the message Stolas is looking at, the ones in the background he just scrolled through.

I'm not breaking this down. I refuse. The only reason I put it here is to show how fast it goes. I'm not touching that.

Who is Stolas

Stolas is a moral scapegoat – "a character that is bad, but the book/movie/show portrays them as good". It's characterized by the story twisting itself to make one character look good.

Stolas didn't start out as one, but became one over one season premire and it just kept escalating from there.

Helluva Boss takes place in Hell. A horrible place filled with horrible people, the root of all evil. Stolas fits right in there. He was already problematic, awful, fed into Helll's broken system. Why trying to cover up his faults? It's Hell, and it was great. But now, we're supposed to pretend he's just flawed.

With the show actively ignoring everything he did, what's left for him? What does he have to learn? How will he grow as a person? How will he improve? What's his character arc? It's nothing. Because everything that happens to him isn't his fault, and at times could just be solved with one conversation.

[idledreams4]

Weird question

but how tf am I supposed to deal with Persephone pretending to be someone else so that she can keep talking to Zoe and running her cult on here: while completely cutting me out of her life

(feel fee to ignore the tags on this one. I just go on a big long ramble about a hypothetical situation that was never going to happen)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?