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willexxmercer · 3 years ago

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2021 Writing Reflection

Well I’m a week late but to be fair, writing’s been really hard lately and I haven’t even wanted to read my own writing. Thank you to @loveislarryislove for the tag!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 42 (holy CRAP)

2. Word count posted for the year: 340259 (oop)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Julie and the Phantoms, The 100, Game of Thrones, OUAT

4. Pairings: Mostly Willex, with some assorted other stuff thrown in

5. Story with the most...

Hits: Camera Flashes & Magazine Covers

Kudos: are you made of copper and tellurium

Bookmarks: Camera Flashes & Magazine Covers

Comments: Between Rage and Serenity

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I’m sure no one is surprised that my answer here is Between Rage and Serenity. It’s a fic that took me about half the year to plan, write, and publish, and it’s my only completed multichapter fic that’s not based on a movie. I’m so happy to have finished it and I’ll be forever proud of it.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Troped Madness is always hit or miss for me, and my Emori round fic i’m trying to trust you (and never give up) definitely felt like a miss. I had big plans going into this one but ultimately it didn’t pan out as well as I had hoped

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

The comments on the first chapter of mutants will never fail to make me giggle because of the moment at the end of it.

A highlight: “ILLEGAL! ILLEGAL! U ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT ENDING TO ME WHAT THE SHIT >:'( “

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

There were a few times but one that really comes to mind is December. I signed up for five secret santa fic exchanges and then I ended up moving a week in and completely lost my momentum to write.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

The climactic battle in mutants with Caleb definitely surprised me in how it panned out (fun fact, it wasn’t exactly how I envisioned it)!

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Oh man this is hard... I’m gonna go with a bit from it’s like you’re my mirror (mirror fic my beloved)

“Want me to yell with you?” Alex asked, watching as Willie’s eyes darted around the open space. He could tell that they were already getting antsy, needing that release of tension that would come from letting loose.

“Uh. You can. If you want,” Willie said, his fingers flexing. Alex dropped his hand, taking a half step away, and watched as Willie’s entire body coiled up tightly. In the next moment, he was screaming, standing bent over, his hands on his knees, his hair hanging over his shoulders. The scream leaving them was strangled, and Alex felt a stabbing pain through his ghost heart.

It felt wrong to watch, so he turned, admiring the still-covered piece of artwork that was displayed in the corner. Behind him, Willie was still yelling. When the yells dissolved into sobs, he turned, startled. Willie was on his hands and knees on the floor, his shoulders shaking.

“Oh, shit,” Alex muttered, moving swiftly to their side. “Hey,” he murmured, putting his hand on their shoulder. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

Willie turned to him, their eyes rimmed with red. “I don’t remember what I look like,” they said, letting out a shaky breath. ��Alex… what do I look like?”

Taken aback, Alex didn’t answer for a moment, swallowing a lump in his throat. Willie whimpered, though, and Alex was immediately attuned to them. He carefully lifted them to their feet, gently guiding them to the bench and sitting next to them.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think I got better at plotting this year! Having mutants be a completely original longfic certainly helped, and I think even my oneshots got better and more in depth.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I definitely want to do more reading and maybe finish a few more longer original plots!

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

100% the @jatpfs server

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

happy as can be, falling into you falling into me was me projecting my negative feelings about my birthday onto Willie oop

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

It’s definitely not new wisdom and I’m definitely still struggling with this myself but it’s so important not to focus on the stats and numbers and to write/publish for yourself

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I have quite a few projects but right now I’m putting myself on indefinite hiatus until some stuff in my personal life gets sorted out but here’s a little teaser:

finishing FNT smau

A new smau

finishing Angel

Willex Young Royals AU

Willex Single All the Way AU

Willex Anonymously Yours AU

A bunch of random oneshots

YR Princess Protection Program AU

Captain Swan - finally writing the fic I promised for the 2021 CS January Joy

Troped Throwback (maybe)

5 t100fic4blm prompts

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

Everyone who wanted to do this probably already has but if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged <3

#ab**kit #kit writes

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brelione · 4 years ago

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Defender (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Canon Rafe,Canon Barry,Violence,short.

Request:Hello, can you do one with JJ when his girlfriend is in some kind of danger and he is very worried about her? A bit angsty and fluffy❤️You’re the best!!!

JJ woke up at two in the afternoon to a call from you.He smiled, wondering what you were calling him for.Sometimes you’d call him to tell him a fun fact or about a really funny joke you had just heard.

The others werent awake yet and he wasnt planning on being awake for a couple more hours, wondering why you would be awake at this time.Half asleep he answered the phone,his smile quickly fading.

“What?”He asked, wanting to make sure that he had heard you properly. “I have no idea what to do, like they’re still there.”You whispered,glancing outside your bedroom window to see Rafe and Barry standing there, both of them holding pistols as they waited for you to answer the door.

You knew what this was about, that they were probably hoping JJ or the other pogues were there so Barry could have his money back.Your bedroom door was locked, hoping that they wouldnt kick the door down.

“Alright, just stay put im on my way.”He whispered through the phone, scared that if he talked louder Rafe and Barry would break in faster.You stayed still, hiding under your windowsill as far from your door as you could be.

You couldve called the cops but then you’d have to explain why the two men were here in the first place and what your boyfriend had done which would do more harm than good.You did your best to keep your breathing under control, knowing it wouldnt help to be gasping and sobbing the whole time.

He got on his bike, figuring that it would be faster than John.B’s shitty van, speeding to your house with his heart pounding in his chest, tears pricking at his eyes.If you got killed it would 100% be his fault.He couldnt let it happen,picking up the speed, thorns slashing at his ankles but he couldnt care less.

Barry kicked your door in, shouting for you.Rafe hoped he wouldnt be forced to kill you.You were one of the few pogues he wasnt absolutely disgusted by and he didnt want to make that list any shorter.

“Come out, come out wherever you are!Cant hide from us forever!”Her shouted,chuckling right after.Rafe was shaking, knowing that Barry probably wouldnt hesitate to shoot you.JJ skidded across the grass of your backyard,jumping off the bike with his hand on his gun,hurrying around the front of the house to see that the door had been forced open, cursing.

He wouldve texted or called you to ask if you were okay but luckily he thought about it, knowing that your phone would ring and give away your location to the two intruders.He tip toed through your house,finding Rafe in your kitchen.JJ was careful as he came up behind the older boy, getting close enough to press the cold barrel of the gun against the back of his head.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”JJ whispered,knowing that he had power over Rafe at this moment.Rafe went to turn, only for JJ to kick him to the floor, foot on the boy’s back and then gun to his head, Rafe’s gun falling from his hand.

“I-Barry is upstairs-he knows that you took his money.”Rafe managed to squeak out, the bottom of JJ’s shoe pressing further into his spine.JJ leaned down, grabbing Rafe’s gun. “Get the fuck out and dont come back, ever.I will blow your fucking brains out, understand?”JJ asked, stomping down on his spine to prove his point.

Rafe held back a shout, nodding, running out as soon as JJ removed his foot.He now had two guns which meant that now he was more powerful than Barry.Speaking of, he could now hear the sound of all the other doors being forced open.

He carefully made his way up the stairs,Rafe’s gun in his hand now because it seemed more powerful.He saw Barry approaching your door, praying that you had barricaded it.He was shaking slightly, knowing that he had the upper hand since Barry hadnt seen him yet.

He ran at full speed towards the man, slamming him to the ground.It was all kind of blurry,everything happening quick as JJ’s hand pressed into the brunette’s throat, lifting him up before slamming him back down, blood coming from his cheekbone,temple and lip.

He was nearly unconscious when your door flew open to reveal you holding a metal baseball bat as you prepared to bash someones head in. “If you ever come back here I will fucking kill you.”JJ shouted,shaking Barry by the shoulders.Barry was to dazed to even look at the blonde,his head rolling to look at you instead.

“You got yourself a defender, huh?”he chuckled, coughing blood.You glared down at him,stomping on his hair and making him hiss in pain.Barry got up, stumbling out of your house, the blood not stopping.

JJ let out a sigh of relief, looking up at you.He took the bat from your hands, hugging you tight. “Fucking hell, (Y/N).Im sorry.”He muttered,squeezing you so hard you thought your ribs might break.

“Its fine,JJ.Im fine, everything is fine.”You whispered,fingers combing through his hair.He was just lucky that he had arrived before Barry got to the right door, silently thanking the universe.

He insisted on taking you back to John.B’s, claiming that you would be safer there not that Rafe and Barry knew where you lived.You held onto him as he drove the bike,head on his back.He had gone slower on the way back, not wanting you to get your ankles slashed by the same thorns.

He had to explain the situation to the rest of the pogues, all of them outraged by the situation.They had lectured him about taking the money, “I knew we shouldnt have taken that money, I told you this would happen!”John.B exclaimed, becoming frustrated.

Pope and Sarah a lot more concerned about how you were doing mentally and physically after it, Pope asking if you were hurt at all and Sarah apologizing for her brohter doing something so terrible.

You told them that you were perfectly fine, not understanding why they were making such a huge deal of it. “God, I hate my brother.”Sarah groaned,resting her head against her palm.Kie rolled her eyes, looking over at you.

“Thats what you have to say?Rafe tries to kill (Y/N) and all youre worried about is what it has to do with you?”Kiara sighed, making JJ smile. “Uh oh.”He mumbled into your ear, kissing your cheekbone lightly.

“Shut up!”Sarah shouted back,John.B smacking his head against his seat. “Guys, seriously?”He asked, looking between the two girls. “Oh, as if you’ve been helpful!What are we gonna do now that they know where she lives?She cant go back there!”Kiara exclaimed, making JJ sit up.

“I agree there, that’s why I think she should stay with you for a while. I mean think about it, your parents like her best, right?And you guys have that fancy ass kook security so they cant get to her there and you two get to have fun sleepovers.I see this as an absolute win.”JJ agreed, his hand somehow ending up on your knee.

Nobody really protested it, agreeing that it was probably the best option they had. “I’ll just find a way to sneak in at night.”He whispered into your ear.Kiara bit the inside of her cheek, thinking about it.

She would be lying if she said it wasnt a pretty good plan, nodding. “Yeah, okay.”She agreed, pretty sure her parents would be fine with it.They liked you mainly because you were a girl and you were quieter than the others, they couldnt really complain about you much.

The rest of your day was spent pressed against JJ’s chest on the living room couch, kisses being placed on your forehead and neck. “I love you.”He repeated over and over again. “Love you too.”You muttered, his constant touching making you tired.

“Im sorry that Barry tried to kill you.”He muttered, sounding so serious that it made you laugh. “It’s fine...”You mumbled, still kind of shaken up over the whole situation. “Nope.”He replied, kissing you gently. “But i’ll make it up to you, promise.”He held up his pinkie, twisting it around yours.

@nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland @yuxsh06 @ifilwtmfc @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae @natalie-kate-98 @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart @broken-jj @joshy-obx @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles @angelreyesgirl100 @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

#jj maybank #jj maybankxreader #jj maybank imagine #jj x you #jj maybank oneshot #jj imagine #jj x y/n #jj obx #jj #rudy pankow

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hesther-mcg · 4 years ago

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chained

➥ pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

➥ summary: the one where two people are chained to one another, hopelessly in love but every bit of wrong for one another

➥ rating: angst, song fic, biker!bucky au

➥ warnings: explicit language, mentions of toxic relationship

➥ a/n: happy valentines day! in the name of irony i’m going to post this today, bc i can. this has been rattling around in my noggin for a bit now and i actually rlly like this. i hope u do too. i highly recommend listening to the song while reading, its also available on spotify.

chained :: elle king ft. cameron neal chained marvel m. list

We can run away, but we can’t hide for long

And all that lingers harms us

She’d tried it—moving houses, running away from the problems she was used to, changing things. She’d already tried it, and it had worked beautifully at first. The high of being in a new place, a place all to themselves, it was wonderful. And it had brought out the man she had started to believe was gone, the man she’d loved for so many suns and so many moons; years of her life having been spent growing alongside him, and she felt nothing short of complete satisfaction.

“Thanks for running away with me,” she’d whispered to him in the late hours of the night, head rested on his bare chest and his calloused hand running up and down over the delicate skin of her back.

“I’ll go wherever you want me to, babe,” was his promise, spoken softly into the dark with a tenderness reserved for her heart and ears only.

But all good things came to an end, and her life had brought truth to that statement. Things settled, routines came back and everything that lingered became visible. The issues that remained, the unspoken anger and unresolved conflicts rearing their ugly heads once again. She’d tried to pack up her life and her love and run away, but she was learning that she couldn’t hide for long.

I can lie to you, but the truth comes alive

Every time I die saying goodbye

Everything was a slow progression, the honeymoon phase wearing off slowly but surely; the conflicts creeping in where they weren’t welcomed. Again, everything was fine at first, they seemed to move as a team and it filled her heart with a warmth almost indescribable—they were so much of the same mind, in her eyes.

But then things drifted off course, the scales tipped in every which way except balanced—right where she wanted, and irritation grew to be the default when she saw his hands reach for the motorcycle keys. Betrayal became the default when she looked away from him and nodded her head, giving a flat and unconvincing ‘I’m okay,’ or ‘have fun.’ Hurt became the default when she bit her tongue until her mouth filled with the taste of crimson copper and her sobs shook her entire body, the sound of a roaring motorcycle engine filling the house.

She could lie, but he always knew. They had their problems, they battled through their conflicts, but they were still positive and negative forces magnetically pulling the other closer, two links in a chain stuck together for eternity.

Cause I don’t want to change

but I can’t stay this way

Love was a lot of things; sometimes she thought of it as something warm and familiar and safe, and other times she was convinced it was the chain that kept her around. She loved him, god damnit did she love James Barnes, but she knew that she was nearing her limit. Her heart could only take so much before she’d lose herself completely, and then she was done for beyond that point. Forever damaged; irreparable.

When Y/N thought about a life where she was on her own, miles upon miles away from the man she only wanted love and comfort from, her chest felt similar to how she imagined a sinkhole made the earth feel. The memories they shared, the laughs and the cries and the endless fun, it would forever haunt her if she were to leave—but one could argue that they already haunted her, already plagued her thoughts and dreams and every second she was breathing.

“What do you want?!” He’d screamed when she’d brought up her concerns, arms raised in the air and brows furrowed.

“Things can’t stay this way, James,” she’d stressed, fingers knotting her hair as they frantically ran through the strands.

And I don’t even mind staying chained, and thinking of you

Thinking of you

“What if I don’t wanna change?”

The breath had caught in her throat at his words, heart sinking to the pits of her stomach as her teary eyes bore into his, his figure blurry but radiating frustration.

“Then I’ll leave,” she threatened, the words burning her mouth as she spoke them. “I love you but I won’t let that stop me.”

But she always did—when he crawled into bed with slow movements and gentle hands, words soft, sweet, and oh so guilty. Apologies and false promises, admissions of love and sweet nothings, it mended her heart for the time being and she remained in the same place.

Is it up to me?

It’s always been up to you to find the peace we needed to

Strength had been dwindling, strength to fight for a relationship immersed in chaos. When things blew up, when the road grew rocky and dangerous and sometimes even lethal, it’d always been her to struggle putting the pieces back together. His words of affirmation and endless charm was the glue that only temporarily mended the cracks, but it was her will and her strive that got them there in the end.

Strength was dwindling, and she was starting to give up. “It’s always been up to me, James,” she’d told him, voice quiet, scratchy, and broken. “It’s always been me, but it’s on you now.”

He hadn’t responded, lips slightly parted as he took in the way that she didn’t even bother looking at him. He knew he’d been digging a grave, and he was starting to see that eventually he’d have to lie in it if he didn’t straighten up. The problems in their lives, in both him and her, they were deeply rooted and while she’d been trying to hack away at them, he’d only been watering them.

Is it said and done, is it carved in the stone?

How many days is it gonna take ‘til we get back home?

Most days, he did nothing but convince her that their fate was sealed—that their ultimate demise on the horizon and refused to move for anything. She’d tried and tried to tell herself that that wasn’t the truth, exalted all resources willing into existence the fact that they were meant to be—stuck together for the trials and tribulations that life undoubtedly bring them.

Things could change, and perhaps they would; nothing was said and done for them because only Y/N could write her story and only she could choose her ending.

But the harder she held on, the longer the path seemed to be. If what they had was a journey through struggle and strife, then the journey seemed years and years long—an endless battle to just make it through the days to even see the end of the road, and it more often than not left her wondering how long it would take before they would make it back home. How long would it be before they returned to where they started—sickeningly sweet, head over heels in love and willing to do anything under the sun for one another.

Cause I don’t want to change

But I can’t stay this way

If this was what growth was, then she wished someone had told her of how painful it was. It felt like scratchy throats from screaming matches, aching chests from nights spent clawing away at the burning skin, and so many more things that weren’t even worth listing. The point of it was that she was finally reaching the point where the door was opening, creaking slowly and revealing the outside world where she could escape.

Y/N didn’t want to escape, but she was starting to see that maybe it was what she needed to do. At one point she had loved her life because he had made the sun shine brighter every day and the stars twinkle a little more each night, and while she longed for that version of James he was not anywhere in sight—and hadn’t been for a long time.

She knew she couldn’t stay this way, she knew it and felt like a complete idiot every time she saw her own reflection, but, much like the aforementioned growth, this change was just as painful. And pain was something she’d felt enough of.

And I don’t even mind staying chained, and thinking of you

Thinking of you

The doors had all been slammed, every single one had the unfortunate fate of being in the path of an angry James, and a few of them hadn’t survived and refused to close completely.

“Why do you want to leave so bad, huh? If you don’t wanna be here then just fucking leave!” The emotional torment was clear as day in his voice as he screamed to the top of his lungs, and it tore her heart to shreds.

“You know damn well why!” She’d shouted back, face beet red as her chest violently heaved. “I don’t fucking deserve this, Buck, and I’m sick and tired of it!” Her nerves buzzed under the surface of her skin and she could feel her pulse in her face, and the man before her only stared back with dark eyes.

“You won’t change,” she’d sobbed. “You won’t and you know it, and if you loved me you would.”

“Y/N—” he’d started, taking a step forward but she’d held her hands out, pushing herself against the wall to get further away.

“No.” Her words were shaky yet void of fear; actually, James could hear the grit that she’d developed after dealing with his shit for so long and he felt his chest cave in slightly. “You stay there and you listen to me.”

Will you wake me up? Will you shake me up?

Cause I’m losing my way in the game

The cracks and creases on her heart deepened greatly, and when they did so she felt every bit of it. The way his eyes bore into hers, as if he was searching her soul like he’d done so many times before, made her look away—for this time she couldn’t trust him to search with good intentions.

“I’ve tried for a long time to make this work, and you can’t tell me you don’t see it. You’re not stupid, James; don’t pretend to be.” She’d shook her head with her last statement, hair going every which way and tears almost filled his eyes because she was right. “But it wont work if something doesn’t give and I’ve given enough!”

He nodded lamely, because that’s all he could think to do. He knew she didn’t want his words, they didn’t matter right now.

“Are you even serious about this? About us? You know this isn’t a joke, this is MY life! It goes way beyond just you and your issues and your anger,” her arms waved around in the air. “James, I’m losing myself in this and you’re supposed to save me!”

The tears did fill his eyes then, stinging the blue orbs and causing him to blink rapidly. He felt like shit, and every bone in his body ached with guilt.

Even at our best, my love

Neither one of us was ever really good enough

The realization that some things truly weren’t meant to be, that some people really weren’t meant to be together, was a tough pill to swallow. Y/N felt herself choke on it multiple times throughout the years, but it was finally down and done with. She couldn’t say if they were never meant to meet, or just never meant to stay together, but either way she knew that they were a recipe for disaster.

Her chemicals and his mixed together didn’t make the love that lasted a lifetime, the kind that made it through the dark and the light of the rocky road through life. They made poison, a stunning and paralyzing formula of toxic traits and deep rooted issues. They weren’t a match; even at their best they were never compatible—just too blind and in love to see it.

“I don’t know why I can’t change, and I will always stay this way,” she sang softly, her heartbreak shining through under the bright lights of the stage in a bar miles and miles away from the man she loved. The band behind her kept up well, putting the raw emotion behind every beat and note that this song required, and for that she was grateful. It was a slight break in the constant dull that she felt, a break that she was beginning to believe she wouldn’t see in her lifetime.

“And I don’t even mind staying chained,” the drawl in her voice was nothing short of old soul and broken dreams, and it wouldn’t have fit in anywhere other than the rundown bar filled with folks of a similar kind. She’d worn heartache daily long before she walked away from that house, but now it never seemed to wipe off. It was never ending, and so was the thought of him. She truly was chained to him, and sometimes in the middle of tear filled nights she told herself that he was still chained to her as well. “And thinking of you.”

Thinking of you, thinking of you, thinking of you.

➥ send as ask to be added to the bucky tag list!

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years ago

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the continuation of chemistry love with the lowest activation energy you've ever seen, complete with two incompatible products

hello this is the anon who had a crush on the chemistry guy ^_^

i mustered up some confidence and asked him out! i considered the fact that he likes chemistry and asked him out with an embarrassing chemistry pick-up line... won't write it here because it's so bad xD

anyway, he turned me down! actually it was pretty bad, i think the joke annoyed him. apparently he's into girls who "apply themselves in meaningful subjects" and don't waste time "ogling over boys in tight pants." i think he noticed the bt21 hat i was wearing and the song i was listening to (butter by bts). honestly at that point i wanted to dieeee hahaaa xD

honestly, now that i'm writing this i'm getting a lot more upset about it :((( do you think the chemistry joke was too much? it was just a cheesy pick up line, and i was pretty much joking! did i insult his intelligence with a stupid joke? O_O okay i said i wasn't going to say the joke but here it is:

are you copper tellurium? because you're cute!

explanation: copper (Cu) + tellurium (Te) = copper tellurium (CuTe)

IT'S NOT EVEN THAT BAD! maybe not enough to make someone laugh, but it's just an innocent little joke! ahhhh, i'm sorry this message so long and it's not even a big deal but i'm so annoyed!!!

actually you know what!? i'm going to watch run bts and forget about my problems! bts could pour some stuff in beakers, but chem guy can't complete silly challenges while being insanely cute and entertaining!

(well, maybe he could, but i'd rather watch bts do it!!!! >_<)

thanks for the chat, even though technically i'm just sending this in now... well (technically) you did create a safe environment with your blog, where readers feel free to come to you with their problems without feel of being made fun of. i'm sure it can be tiring to hear so many negative experiences while you may be dealing with some things personally. while i'm not sure how you really feel about receiving so many asks that can possibly be triggering, i do think your blog has helped many people (both the smut and the advice). of course, while you're not obligated to help people with things unrelated to your writing, it's nice that you try your best to respond.

wow this ask has taken a turn!

anyway, i want to end this on a positive note. this is completely unrelated, but i had this amazing frozen snack today. it's basically coffee made into jelly with french vanilla ice cream on top. i also put in some yummy oreo bits! i'm currently in a heat wave right now and it was the perfect treat for my hot body temperature. just thinking about it makes me smile :D so tasty~

my goodness this is really long now, very sorry for wasting your time with this weird ask D:

You dodged a bullet or, rather, the Bulletproof Boys have protected you from accidentally dating a complete dickhead.

Thanks Bangtan! :D

Come on, he could have just said, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested" and not straight up insulted you! What the heck??? Yeah, the pick-up line was awful (sorry, it was XD), but if you can't have a sense of humor, what good are you? HUH? I think you did fine and he was unnecessarily mean about it. Hmph.

And, hey, at least you asked sooner rather than later and didn't spend weeks or months pining over someone who totally doesn't deserve it. Take the W. Run BTS! is the best therapy <3

Whoa, I think this is the first time someone has acknowledged that answering certain asks might have an affect on me. ^_^;;; I'm trying to find a balance, but I am pretty tough, it's hard for even me to tell if I've overdone it...

I don't think this wasted my time! I think it's important even for others to know that things don't work out sometimes and sometimes you need to watch Run BTS! and eat delicious snacks and watch BTS fight each other for their own delicious snacks that they could literally buy hundreds of boxes of but instead chose to betray their best friends during a ridiculous game that has a freaking essay as the rules that no one remembers until the staff reminds them LMAO

some nice words from a nice anon!

THAT WAS MEAN? that pickup line was cute, maybe a lil cheesy, but ?/??? im sorry chemistry anon but im very very very sure you could get someone better. u seem really nice wtf that's not fair. anyway ur gonna get over the man i just know it .

also, wiyllt

im sorry people send u triggering stuff :( man i wish there was a filter or something. i hope you dont push urself trying if u dont wanna (i know you've said you wouldn't but, just saying!)

No need to be sorry <3 I don't think they mean any harm and I have come to a point in my life where I can rationally think about it and choose whether or not to answer. Plus, I have IRL support who notice when I'm down and take care of me and bring me snacks or give me head - ya know, all the normal things one does when taking care of someone XD!

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inkykeiji · 4 years ago

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Congrats on 1K!!!! <33

Can I please get a hq match up?✨

My names’ Tay! I’m 5’7, INTJ, I have green eyes and copper coloured hair! I love lounging while reading/watching anime in my natural habitat—my bedroom. I work full time as a nurse as well as study at university! I live in Australia, we don’t really celebrate Halloween—so I’ve never carved a pumpkin or gone trick or treating! I love horror movies/stories with my entire heart, I love the high you get from the suspense! aaaaand I’ve run out of things to add!✨ thank you!

tay!!!!! aw thank you so much, and thank u for participating!! <333

i match you with ⇢ miya atsumu! you understand each other’s passion and drive and respect the fact that you’re both extremely hard workers. additionally, you both hold yourselves to extremely high standards, but this actually works in your favour—since y’all understand the immense pressure you tend to put on yourselves, you’re also fantastic at comforting each other when one of you breaks down a little from the stress. it’s always nice to have someone who both understands the importance of hard work and why it’s important to you, and who can simultaneously sympathize with u, yk???

what you carve into your pumpkin ⇢ since you’ve never carved a pumpkin before, he tells you that you absolutely must carve a classic jack’o’lantern. but in addition to that, you’d really like to try carving something a lil more complex and fun, so you also give michael myer’s classic mask a shot!

which halloween candy you eat the most of ⇢ twizzlers + reese’s pieces (or baby ruth??? hmm)

couples costume ⇢ he absolutely suggests that you dress up as a doctor + a sexy nurse but u shut it down instead, you dress up as either sweeney todd + mrs. lovett OR beetlejuice + lydia deetz (in their marriage costumes!)

how you celebrate halloween ⇢ this crazy mf has an entire DAY of halloween activities lined up for you oh my god. he tried to cram as many halloweenie things as he could into a single day instead of, y’know, spreading them out throughout the month of october (he got too excited). be prepared for an entire day full of pumpkin carving, baking (you attempt to bake an apple pie...it doesn’t exactly turn out— he didn’t realize how difficult pies actually are to make, even if you’re using a pre-made crust— and it ends up being more like an apple crumble, but it tastes good nonetheless!), and he absolutely takes you out trick or treating because you gotta experience it at least once! you probably should’ve brought a child with you, since you’re both adults, but he happily explains the situation to anyone who’s giving u guys weird looks and you two are just too cute to get angry at! after that, if you’re not too exhausted from his Halloween Extravaganza, he’ll take you to one of japan’s infamous street parties! but if you’re not feeling up to it, he’s also entirely okay with cuddling up under a fluffy blanket w some popcorn and some of your favourite horror films <3

clari’s 1k halloween matchups! 👻

#i'm like 98 percent sure they also don't do trick or treating in japan #BUT #this is Clari's Alternate Universe and what i say goes #and i say there is trick or treating 😤😤#ah the joys of fiction #ANYWAY tay oh my god u would slay as both mrs lovett AND lydia aaaah i couldn’t choose!!#sorry urs is so long ahahah #i also think u and atsumu would be like idk not full blown adrenaline junkies but def thrill seekers #esp as a way to relieve stress n stuff #✨clari’s mutuals✨#inky.1k

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mashtonasfuck · 4 years ago

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i was tagged by @pxrxmoore thank u beth 💙

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction? hmmm, I think it was probably either supernatural or glee? specifically destiel and klaine respectively bc i’m trash for all of those men and I think maybe on livejournal??

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)? i think so far it’s probably come with the starry beams, my love which is my on-going mashton regency era piece

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)? okay, so I did have a house, but for ~reasons~ I’m back living with my mum, buuuuttt coppers and greens with plants and books everywhere

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen? I think it was actually the 5sos fandom but on twitter mainly before I knew about tumblr

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself? scorpio sun, sag moon, virgo rising. fun fact - Beth and I were at Laura’s a while ago and she has this book with birthdays in and what your birthday means in regards to your life and I was fully ROASTED by Laura’s book smh

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world? tbh I’m a pretty versatile reader in general bc I’m a lit student, but when it comes to fanfic - anything with pining or realisation of feelings 😌

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life? I think my last relationship. I realise now that the person in that relationship wasn’t me - learning to find out who I actually am has been hard, but also a fun experience

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)? blimey, ummmmm rn I love afterglow but all time low, drive by ashton irwin, waste the night by 5sos and also can’t help falling in love with you by elvis presley

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between? this is an excellent q and smth I was kind of discussing w Beth last night. I’m basically a slut for romance and people being interested/educated about what I’m talking about. And also people who care about me and someone who knows me well enough to tell me when to stop being an idiot akskkdkd

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines? yes, quite recently in fact but I am keeping it to myself 😌

tagging @cxddlyash, @loveroflrh, @malumsmermaid and @ashtonlftv if you’d like to do it/haven’t already! 💙💙

#tagged #thank u Beth this was fun!!

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blmyouactivistrats · 4 years ago

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Hi how are u ?Can i have a male match up for BNHA please ? I’m a 5.2 chubby french girl with long copper hair and bangs but kept in a bun i have brown eyes and glasses. I have ADHD and many nicknames.I’m in studies of french litterature .I have a ferret named roy.I like arts,listening music,drawing,reading,singing and cooking I am a weeb and a gamer.I don’t Sleep much so i drink too much coffee,tea,energy drink.I am an INFJ,libra and totally act like it.My aesthetic is Dark academia(Black&red)

Hey hey hey! Good, how are you?

I match you up with. . .

Kaminari Denki!

Okay! First off, he loves loves loves the fact that you're French. He thinks it's so fancy and really cute! He also adores the fact that you're chubby, so huggable!

And don't get me started on your hair, it's like he's obsessed with it!

"What? It's so pretty! Just let me-"

And while Denki knows you have ADHD, he doesn't really notice it! (I personally like to headcanon that he has ADHD too ^^)

And when you two are together in your dorm room (Whenever Aizawa will allow it or when you two sneak into your dorm room) and you two are supposed to be doing your homework and studying, you'll both end up forgetting about the homework and playing with Roy.

"Look at him! He's so slinky!"

Whenever you just want to relax and do one of your hobbies/interests, he's always up for it! Especially when it comes to cooking, he thinks your amazing at it and the food you make is so good!

Whenever you think you're by yourself and you're singing, Denki will just stop whatever he's doing and just admire you. He thinks he so lucky to have you in his life and he honestly hopes to keep it that way.

On those nights where you can't sleep, Denki will try his hardest to stay awake with you so you don't feel lonely.

"No, babe... I'm not that tired I promise..."

Kaminari is not 100% how well ENTPs and INFJs get along, but he knows from a quick Google search that Geminis and Libras are very compatible!

"Heyyyy Google said we're good together-"

He also loves your fashion sense, it's unique! And plus, an alt gf? Score!

I hope you enjoyed! I had fun writing this!

Thanks for reading!

#denki kaminari imagine #kaminari headcanons #mha fanfiction #mha #denki x you

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yandere--stuck · 5 years ago

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op, OP, 0p, liSTEN! Hear me out, hear me out Jealous John headcanons Part 2 When the person John likes so much reacts to what he did???? I need that in my life, gn.

ANON PLS COME BACK I LOVE YOU AND WOULD DIE FOR U THANK U FOR BOYFRIEND CONTENT

💙 John swoops in from behind, sweeping you off your feet - quite literally! He spins you around in mid-air, holding you close to him. You're far too shocked to even react. Your face is pressed against his chest. His god-tier shirt is a bit damp, stained a dark brown and smelled of… copper. In an instant you regain your bearings, squirming in the man's grasp as he beama down at you, talking a mile a minute. He nuzzles into your neck, pressing his body flush against yours. In your ears, he whispers frantically - that he finally understood, that it was all a test, that he proved himself, proved his love for you, that he loves you so so much and that he was so happy that you and he can finally be together! He punctuates his babbling with a forceful kiss, your noses bumping together as he cups your cheeks and crashes his lips against your own.

☁️ You go still from shock, your mouth dropping open slightly. John takes the opportunity to eagerly snake his tongue into your mouth. He laps at the inside of your mouth. You go pale, jolting somewhat as you taste... something metallic and sticky. You suddenly push away from him, still held against your friend(?) in a single arm. He's smiling adoringly, hearts practically in his eyes as he gazes at you… And his face, his glasses, speckled with red… A line of spit connects his and your mouth, tinged red… You begin to shake as the pieces click in your head, eyes going wide. But, before you get the chance to scream - John kisses you again! And again, and again, again, again, again, again-!

💙 He doesn't care if you squirm and or yell into his kisses, it's obviously because you're just… excited~. And John doesn't mind at all, if you bite his lips! In fact, he really, really likes it even, especially, if you draw blood! He never thought he'd be into anything like this before, but you… You've opened his eyes! God, you make John so, so happy… He'd do anything for you, kill anyone you want!... Though, the only thing he won't do is let you go! He loves you!! You love him! You love each other, why would either of you ever want to be apart? Any denial of love for him is simply seen as another test of devotion in John's eyes - and he'd do whatever it takes to show you just how much he loves you…

☁️ He doesn't even want to part from you physically. After he flies you back to his house, he's practically sewn to your hip! He insists you and he do everything together, and it's almost like he doesn't even hear your rejections or cries for help, as though he's unconsciously blocking it out. He loves to cuddle up with you for movie marathons, have a sweet, candlelit romantic dinner in the kitchen, sleep in the same bed together - with him cuddling against you in an iron grip! John also loves to kiss you everywhere. Your face, your lips, your forehead, nose, neck, collarbones, hands, anywhere! He just wants to worship every part of you, every inch of the perfection that is you…

💙 Sometimes, only sometimes… John cries. It's hard for him to get out why. Sometimes he doesn't even know. He's never learned how to process feeling negativity. It was always so easy to just… Push it down inside himself and forget it. Sometimes, he takes you in his arms and says sorry - he's so sorry, he's so, so sorry, please, don't leave him, he loves you so much and he's so sorry - and he doesn't know why. If you cuo his cheeks, play with hair, hold him, or let him lie his head in your lap. He'll manage a smile. You're so sweet… You're so kind, so gentle, so understanding. So patient with him. You never forgot about him. You still cared. He… He couldn't lose you. Not like dad. Not like everyone else. He loves you. John loves you so, so much.

☁️ John is more than ready to kill anyone at your beck and call. Or he'll just take down anyone he deems as a threat himself! Strangers are completely fair game - and he might end them for fun or because he thinks you'll like it or that it will make you happy - just another way to show how devoted he is to you! Friends, however, give John a little pause. If someone like Rose, Dave, or Jade comes to try to help you - he'll try to talk things out with them and explain his side of things. However, if they're insistent on taking you from him and push John far enough (either emotionally, verbally, or physically), all bets are off! It saddens him a bit, but he'd gladly and readily kill anyone if it's for you. plus, they weren't really HIS friends… He lost them a long time ago, and they abandoned him… But, you… You cared. You were real. And you loved John. And he loved you. So… So much...

#yandere x reader #homestuck #john egbert #john egbert x reader #homestuck x reader #hs x reader #hs #john hs #hs john #homestuck john #john homestuck #heir of breath #home stuck #yandere

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 5 years ago

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Hey there! :) This is for the OC Ask Game, for Harrison: could you answer questions 1-6, 14 &15? Hope you're doing well!

Oh let’s just expose Harrison *cracks knuckles*

1: List five basic facts about your OC.

He’s turning 22 (just shy of his birthday in Moth Work)

He’s gay as fuuuuuh

He’s from Brooklyn, NY

He’s an only child

If you come for his jacket, he’ll come for your life (a very basic fact)

2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC.

This is dialogue from book 3 that I still can’t get over (for context, Reeve is criticizing Harrison’s choice of Walmart as a gourmet pie shop back when Walmart used to be a big thing in my books lmaooo):

Reeve: “So your gourmet pie shop is Walmart?”

Harrison: “Why yes, actually… Do you have a problem with saving money and living better?”

lmfaoooo

Also an iconic interaction from Moth Work:

Lonan: “You’re patronizing me.”

Harrison: “You’re patronizing yourself.”

3: Post a snippet from your writing that describes your OC.

So this is the first ever description of Harrison from book 1 (I had just turned thirteen when I wrote this):

There’s a faint click somewhere to my right and a soft glow soon illuminatesthe room, shattering the darkness into pieces. I shake off the fact that Ican’t see where the light is coming from, instead pointing the still loaded gunat the first thing I see, a boy who looks a bit older than me with what I makeout to be honey blond hair and the most pissed off expression on his face.

(fun fact I really wrestled with describing the colour of Harrison’s hair at the time and probably changed “honey blonde” from “honey brown” like 5000 times, 13-year-old me had BEEF with his hair colour)

4: Post a snippet from your writing in which another OC describes your OC.

This is a very old description I scavenged to find from book 6 where Reeve vaguely describes Harrison in the first paragraph which is one way to go about it:

Beside me is wood smoke and copper, leather and strong coffee, all strung around human flesh. He moves with precision, like a player focused on a riveting chess match…

And here’s the most recent paragraph (and the last paragraph in Lonan’s POV) of Lonan describing Harrison when they meet up for the first time after brief hiatus (I haven’t shared this yet, so for context, Suzanna is Harrison’s mother):

In the kitchen, Suzanna laughs at Eliza’s joke, something vaguely about Geminis, or maybe she says alibis. He doesn’t quite hear it. He doesn’t mean to drop the rose, but it falls with a muffled thump between them, a floral border. Lonan blinks many times. He breathes many times. He counts many times. But after all the tests—the blinking, the breathing, the counting, the person at the door doesn’t change. Sunshine hair. Concerned mouth. Semi-crooked nose. Butterfly lashes. Eyes the colour of a kingfisher.

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.

Harrison’s the cutest guy in town, so cute he managed to convince @sarahkelsiwrites to get me to write book one! Without Harrison’s cuteness, this 8 book series/monstrosity would not exist! As I’ve said, Harrison’s a cutie and should definitely be treated as such (the downfall of Moth Work loool). He’s shorter than Lonan by just a bit tho I really can’t think of how tall my characters are because I am apparently short and can’t imagine anyone a foot taller than me, so all you need to know is he’s tall but still shorter than Lonan lol. He looks a lot like his Portuguese mother and takes on both her “semi-crooked nose, the same mouth, straight and concerned, the same markabove the eyebrow he always thought came from some sort of accident. Eventhough her eyes are brown and his are clearish and teal, it’s like he has hereyes too—soft and rimmed with lashes like butterfly wings” according to Lonan lool. He wears Lonan’s fake mom’s earring which is a pretty dangly blue gem. Though Harrison could look like anything and all he’d need to be Harrison is his leather jacket. In the book cover I designed, Lonan’s wearing it (ROOD) as he unknowingly takes it in chapter 6, but besides that one time, his jacket never comes off! He also wears his mother’s guardian angel necklace which is a newer edition, though a well-liked one as I always pictured him wearing a chain of some sorts! It’s important to note that when I was thirteen, the only way I’d describe Harrison’s eyes were as “burning turquoise” loool.

Here’s how I drew him for the book cover (though I couldn’t really get his eyes right are they burning turquoise-y enough??):

6: Describe your OC’s love life.

Messy! Harrison’s gone through a lot as a hopeless romantic, and has been lead to much heartbreak because of it. If he loves someone, he really loves someone, and this is very much seen in his feelings toward Lonan. Since we’re spilling the tea on Harrison, here’s his relationship with Lonan throughout the books + as Nothing But Thieves songs (because we’re going THERE):

Book 2

When the boys actually meet! Lonan didn’t exist in book 1 and I think Harrison’s sanity benefitted from this but anyway

They’re coworkers (back when this book was a dystopia lmao, Harrison took an open job as a tech analyst in Lonan’s government squad which was his pride and joy and I have since of course axed it)

They don’t like each other but can’t get enough of being enemies if u know what I mean

NBT song: Last Orders

Book 3

This “love being your enemy” thing continues even when Lonan makes his redemption arc and he’s no longer an enemy lmaoo

We get to see their actual friendship develop toward the ¾ mark of the book

“Clearly these people care about each other” kind of vibe!

NBT song: Wake Up Call

Book 4

We see a new level of closeness develop between the boys, and though we’re in Reeve’s head, she def senses some tension mwahaha

NBT song: Afterlife

Book 5

Harrison really steps in as not only a friend for Lonan in this book, but a body of support while his mental health goes through it

NBT song: Reset Me

Book 6

They’re both mad at each other for almost this entire book but this gives us more of that tension we WANT

Reeve really notices this tea develop and she be sippin it the whole book

Toward the midpoint there’s definitely explicit suggestion of their relationship (Reeve can’t fully see this as she’s mostly concerned about herself but there’s definitely an ongoing relationship in this book that’s pretty turbulent):

NBT song: You Know Me Too Well

Moth Work

This relationship sees a lot of bad times

It ain’t a healthy relationship by any means and things start falling apart! Both boys have things they have to work out, that are currently causing lots of conflict!

The TEA I have not shared yet is that I *plan* for them to split up by the end of this book (though they never were really together in this book so it’s not really a breakup lol). Harrison moves to Brooklyn with his mom and Lonan stays in Vegas with Eliza (do with that what you will!!)

NBT song: Hostage (for Harrison) and Take This Lonely Heart (for Lonan)

14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?

That he likes waffles better than he like Lonan? Scandle! Harrison had an affinity for waffles in book one. Here are receipts:

A scene from book 3 (2015) that features a lot of iconic content (Harrison’s waffle kink, Foster being prime-time soft boi, grumpy Lonan, narrated by Reeve who manages to not inject her opinion once, my classic 2015 “witty” YA dialogue):

“Ah, well… your sister [the youngest, not Reeve lol] was talking about people, and how being mean is the only way that they listen… She may or may not have had a run-in with Harrison earlier, which is why the topic was brought up��” From next to him, Ris grunts over his steaming waffles, a full mouth when he turns his face toward Lonan who’s got the same laptop in front of his face, furiously tapping at the keyboard as he concentrates.

Harrison actually reaches over and slams the lid shut.

“Hey asshole,” he says around his mouthful of waffle. “Put the fucking technology away, and be a little social.” Lonan’s dead silent on the receiving end, and when I look closer at him, I realize it’s because his fists are tightly clenched and a vein in his forehead’s bulging.

“That was three full days of work that you might’ve completely ruined!” Lonan hisses, eyes wide and angry as he stares at Harrison who’s scowling around his breakfast.

“Anyway…” Foster continues awkwardly. “Basically, helping people is sometimes–” He’s cut off as a giant waffle is smothered up to his face, Harrison holding it out tauntingly. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You know you want the waffle… Waffles…”

Also to the waitress while he and Reeve bond at a diner:

“Thank you.” Harrison says with a wide smile, staring at the waffles like they’re the love of his life. “Oh my fucking god.” He mumbles, and I assume that I’m not meant to here that.

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?

I think there are a lot of things he’d like to change in his past, namely his relationship with his mother who he’s estranged from until the end of Moth Work. I think he would’ve liked to see her more in his teens (despite being a hard ass when she does show up in Moth Work). He’d go back to Brooklyn and like chill in a pizzeria with his mom lol. On a lighter note, I think he’d also like, join ABBA or something.

Thanks for asking!

#writing #amwriting #fostered #asks

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college-au-masterblog · 5 years ago

Text

Title: Match my Breath

Chapter 4: A Spark

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Kokichi and Shuichi keep their mouths moving but fail to talk, again.

Content warning: Explicit sex, implied sex as self-harm. Under the cut, there is self-harm, panic attacks, self-hate, and internalized victim-blaming.

Additional tags: College/Grad school AU, Trans characters, miscommunication, nipple play, oral fixation, kink discovery, body worship, breath play

Notes:

Finally finished the latest chapter to this fic!!

The chapter is pasted under the cut, but if you read I would love if you commented on Ao3! I’m still p new to fic writing and would love feedback.

Thank you to @dietshuichi my love, pall, and collaborator. I put the breathplay in 4 u.

[[MORE]]

Kokichi pushed Shuichi lips first, hands quickly pressing onto his cheek, pushing up underneath his shirt. Shuichi had to hold his arms out to avoid tripping over his own feet. Kokichi's kisses were rapid yet purposeful, starting shots for a race with a visible finish line; Kokichi barreled forward.

Shuichi's lower lip had just been sucked into Kokichi's violent mouth when Shuichi pulled back, teeth scraping against him in the process. They didn't speak, but it was far from silent. Kokichi watched straight-faced and wide-eyed as Shuichi pulled down his shirt and attempted to catch his breath.

Well, this is going to be even quicker than I thought, Kokichi mused as he braced himself for the familiar rejection he sought.

But Shuichi didn't shout or scoff or laugh. Kokichi thought Shuichi might retaliate, and winced as he maintained eye contact and raised his open palm. But his hand moved past Kokichi's head and onto the door, pushing it closed.

The door. Which had been open.

Oh.

Shuichi smiled too gently and spoke, "Ah-a, hi."

CLICK

Kokichi heard the lock behind him close, then the deadbolt, and the other deadbolt.

Shuichi had a thing for security.

Once the door had been properly closed, Shuichi wrapped his arms around Kokichi's waist. He bent at the knee to get to an appropriate angle and spun so that his back was now to the door, practically lifting Kokichi in the process. Kokichi hated himself for letting his weight fall onto Shuichi's welcoming arms.

Shuichi's smile refused to falter as he continued,

"Now, what the fuck are you wearing?

Oh.

Right.

Kokichi had forgotten about his ingenious solution for February ho-ery and had just dommed up his crush in a hot pink, floor-length, fluffy, marshmallow coat.

The walking sleeping bag.

Kokichi continued unphased. "Only my sleekest seduction wear. What? You're too good for "Baby's First Snow" couture? Slaying in Sleigh-bells? Marsh-my-Mello and puff me up Zaddy.

Shuichi broke into laughter, and Kokichi took the pause in active conversation as an opportunity to reflect. Anything to drown out that laugh.

Admittedly, Kokichi had been focused on other things. In fact, despite the physical nature of his actions, he had intentionally separated himself from his body. The point of this wasn't to feel. It was to stop the feeling.

But why did Shuichi have to look at him like that?

His detective was clearly amused.

But more importantly, he wasn't his.

Kokichi looked up at Shuichi with mischievous eyes and then turned his gaze downwards towards his own body, inviting Shuichi to do the same. Kokichi pulled on the zipper and revealed what he was wearing underneath, certain that Shuichi would be more enthralled by what he wasn't wearing.

When Kokichi glanced up again, he was pleased to see that this time, Shuichi's eyes hadn't followed along. Instead, they were lingering somewhere closer to Kokichi's thighs. Kokichi lowered his voice, "I wanted to surprise you," he stepped out of the coat completely, kicking it behind him with his stride. "Well," He was only inches away from Shuichi now, "Are you surprised?"

The laughter was gone, replaced by heavy breaths and unfocused, hungry eyes.

Before Shuichi could respond, Kokichi gripped the front of his shirt with both hands and slammed into him once again. He pulled Shuichi around pushed them both backward, not stopping until the backs of Shuichi's knees hit the edge of his couch.

With a final shove, Shuichi fell backward onto the plush cushions, eyes wide and arms raised above his head. Kokichi kicked off his shoes, climbed on top of him, and mashed their lips together. Kokichi was relieved to feel that Shuichi was already at least partially erect. This shouldn't take too long, Kokichi assured himself as he aggressively massaged the growing bulge to further expedite the process.

Kokichi tried his best to ignore the hands wandering his own body, save for ducking out of the way when they neared any spot that might be too vulnerable, too sensitive, too difficult to ignore.

Kokichi simultaneously slipped his tongue into Shuichi's welcoming mouth and fumbled with the other man's pants, eventually releasing the button and undoing the zipper. Kokichi pulled Shuichi's pants down just enough to expose his cock. Shuichi gasped at the sudden shock of cool air, only to fall back into a moan as Kokichi stroked his erection.

As soon as his dick felt suitably hard, Kokichi lifted his torso up, pushed his sturdy black underwear to the side, and moved to ride Shuichi, when he was stopped by a trembling hand. Shuichi had lifted just enough to push Kokichi's hips aside. His expression was decidedly concerned as he furrowed his brows at Kokichi.

Kokichi paused at the sudden interference before continuing knowingly "Sweet~chi, I've been tested, and this slut is a hundo-P STI free! Now if it's other concerns that have got your briefs climbing up your ass," Kokichi rubbed the space between his stomach and crotch. "With the hormonal situation I've got going on, plus my Lil' Copper Buddy- Let's just say that if you manage to get anything cookin' in this oven, we've got a lot more biblical armageddon-y problems than any clinic could deal with. Anndd on the topic of second comings~.

Shuichi's groaned, his body spasming and mouth opening wide as he felt the tip of his dick enter Kokichi.

But when he opened his eyes, he saw an image that immediately stripped the situation of any pleasure.

Kokichi's face was contorted in pain. He was wincing, steadying himself on the couch with a trembling hand as he tried to force his wholly unprepared body down onto Shuichi.

Shuichi felt his eyes water as he adjusted his hips to separate from Kokichi. Shuichi attempted to reach towards his face, but the moment Kokichi felt him pull out, the grimace was replaced by a charming smirk. Kokichi's face looked at ease.

But his hand was still trembling.

"What's the matter Sweeeechiiii? Hoping to fuck my mouth instead? Nishishi~ One fuck, and you're already bored of that hole? Well, luckily~ I have others."

Before Kokichi could dip his head, Shuichi cupped Kokichi's chin and lifted him up.

Shuichi's experience with sex was undeniably limited, and it was difficult for him to ascertain what was "normal" second hook-up behavior. However, he knew Kokichi well enough to know that this wasn't his normal. Something was up, so Shuichi wasn't.

Adjusting himself back into his briefs and lifting his body back into a sitting position, Shuichi stammered. "U-Um, a-actually," Shuichi knew better than to trust in Kokichi's cool expression. He focused instead on Kokichi's hand as he dug his nails into the side of Shuichi's couch.

Shuichi gave Kokichi what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I just think this might be fun somewhere more comfortable, you know? I'm, ah, kind of falling off here."

He wasn't lying. His couch was not a stranger to sexual encounters, but like 99% of Shuichi's history, it was limited to solo trips and sized appropriately. Good for a quick release if he got home from work a bit too stressed, or annoyed, or distracted by a daydream he had on the ride home, and just couldn't make it to the bed. Not intended for real-life dalliances with real-life cuties, whose blessed weight pressed against him, and also pressed his back into the less-pleasant hardness of the couch's base. His lanky legs were awkwardly dangling, unable to fit onto the limited cushion space.

Kokichi took in the unbalanced positioning and stated factually, "Hm, I see your point. And I'd much rather see your other point. Welp, Let me just move my cutie Lil' booty over to the floor and you can just-" But he was cut off by Shuichi moving off the couch first.

"I have a different idea- if you don't mind."

Before Kokichi could question him again, Shuichi scooped the smaller boy into his arms and held him up.

"I want to take you to my bed."

Kokichi hadn't prepared for this. Bridal-style carrying was not on the agenda, did not align with their roles, but here Shuichi was, going off-script.

Shuichi's room wasn't very far away, a fact for which Shuichi's un-trained arms were grateful. He really didn't want to be thinking about Kaito right now, but he felt his disappointed presence, chastising him for every weight un-lifted. As he moved through the "hallway," which was really more an extension of the living room/kitchen, his mind flashed images of Kokichi's strained face. Notably, Kokichi, who was always so careful with his expressions, deliberate in his disarming, hadn't tried to conceal the hurt, not until Shuichi pulled away. Shuichi wanted to doubt his own deduction as he connected cruel dots.

He didn't think he had to.

Kokichi didn't think his visible discomfort would dissuade him. Shuichi felt ill. Did people usually fuck him without any consideration for his pain, let alone his pleasure? How many times had it been like this? How many people saw tears in his eyes and kept going?

He held Kokichi tighter as they neared the door. He turned around, used his hip to turn the knob, and walked backward into the space, careful not to bang Kokichi's head. He laid Kokichi onto his bed, allowing his head to rest onto a pillow. Shuichi paused before joining him and traced his fingers back and forth along Kokichi's thighs.

Shuichi took a breath and asked, "Can I undress you?"

He looked to Kokichi for a response and was happy to see a serene expression. Kokichi's mouth was agape, and his eyes were glazed over, pointed in the general direction of Shuichi's lingering hands. The light tickle-scratch touch had soothed him. Then, as if waking from a dream, Kokichi swallowed and blinked up, mouth tightening as he sneered,

"Ugh, FINE. I guess if Shuichi needs a bit more ~visual stimuli~, I can accommodate,"

Kokichi kept riffing as Shuichi pulled off his own shirt and positioned himself above Kokichi on the bed. "Now are we doing this or should I get my outerwear back on, cause I'll have you know that the full marshmallowzation process can take up to ten union minutes and-"

Shuichi kissed Kokichi before he could continue.

Shuichi kissed him laggardly, in defiance of Kokichi's tempo. He found that he had no choice but to submit to the decadent, horrible, sensation.

Kokichi felt the hands he had been dodging traverse his body. One hand cradled his neck, fingers reaching to rest in his hair, and the other started at his thighs and traveled upwards, lingering below his waist and massaging the muscles around his hip bone. Kokichi's moans couldn't drown out the alarms ringing in his head. DANGER.

Too much. Too good.

Not real.

Kokichi might have attempted another snide remark had Shuichi not dragged the hand that was on his neck down to the frayed edge of his cropped shirt. Shuichi pressed his palms flat onto Kokichi's stomach and pushed underneath his top, pushing the fabric up and revealing Kokichi's chest. Shuichi's hands ran over Kokichi's hardening nipples, and the contact incited an involuntary cry. Kokichi spasmed with pleasure, jumping into the touch then falling back, breath heavy, feeling conflicted about Shuichi discovering the extent of his sensitivity.

With the pads of his fingers, Shuichi lightly tapped Kokichi's nipples, testing a hypothesis. Once again, Kokichi whimpered, this time, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to fight against the needlessly overwhelming sensation. Shuichi felt he had likely confirmed his theory, but extra assurance couldn't hurt. He let his fingers rest on Kokichi, rubbing gently in small circles as he spoke. "You're really sensitive here, aren't you?"

Kokichi thought it was a shitty question.

But he didn't say that, couldn't say much of anything when his whole body seemed focused on the minute movements of Shuichi's hands.

Kokichi hated this, or at least, he hated not hating it. He hated himself. He knew this couldn't go anywhere good, and yet he didn't move, didn't want to. He desperately wanted to live in this world, this space where Shuichi cared for him and kissed him softly and didn't let him hurt. He wanted it even if it wouldn't last. He was disgusted with himself for indulging in his sick fantasy.

He hated liars.

But if he was going to hurt anyway,

Kokichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi and pulled him down, fully intending on bringing him into a deep kiss. Their lips met, but Kokichi only had a moment to savor the feeling of Shuichi's tongue entering his mouth before he was forced back with an embarrassing squeal. Shuichi had pinched his chest, hard.

Kokichi absolutely expected Shuichi to be laughing and was surprised to see that Shuichi was just as wrecked as he was. He was just barely avoiding drooling out of his panting mouth. They kept their faces close as Shuchi continued toying with Kokichi's reddened chest, loving the way his fingers could make the other boy cry out into his mouth. Enthused by the desperation in Kokichi's eyes, Shuichi lifted Kokichi's shirt off of him and tossed it to the side. Kokichi compulsively pouted when Shuichi first took those incredible fingers away, but he moaned in delighted relief as Shuichi raked his fingernails down his body, down his arms, over his chest, stopping at the tops of his thigh highs.

Shuichi looked up at Kokichi and stated, "I didn't finish undressing you." Shuichi locked eyes with Kokichi, waiting for the go-ahead. As soon as Kokichi gave him a gentle nod, Shuichi lowered to Kokichi's thighs. Kokichi gasped as he felt teeth scrape against his inner thighs, followed by wet kisses trailing down his newly exposed legs. Shuichi lowered the stockings inch by inch, taking care to cover each revealed bit of flesh with open-mouthed kisses. Kokichi trembled and tried desperately to tune out the lingering warning bells.

He fell into Shuichi, enveloped in his warmth. He knew the spark would come and if he was sinking into tar, he didn't care because, at that moment, it was more than worth the cost of getting burned.

Once Shuichi reached the ends of Kokichi's legs, he quickly pulled off the stockings and kissed the tips of his feet. He was almost entirely naked now. Almost.

Kokichi looked at Shuichi and saw intense determination. He moved purposefully yet tenderly up Kokichi's body, this time, giving him only teasing pecks along the way. Kokichi, selfishly, stupidly, craved more. His legs parted unconsciously, his body revealing the desire his mind wanted to hide.

Kokichi held his breath as Shuichi reached the edge of his underwear.

Kokichi's mind raced. Shuichi could run away, Shuichi could leave, he didn't want to be with him, why would he do something so intimate with a guy who was just an easy fuck.

Shuichi positioned his face in front of Kokichi's clothed cock. His mouth hung open, and Kokichi could swear he felt Shuichi's hot breath against him. They both laid still, waiting, when Shuichi finally spoke out,

"Kokichi. Do you want this?"

Against his better judgment, against himself, against any hope of self-preservation and leaving this situation unscarred, Kokichi whispered,

"Yes."

Shuichi's mouth on him felt more than incredible.

He kissed him firmly over his underwear, flattening his tongue and licking a luxurious stripe up from his entrance to the tip of his cock. Once there, he pressed his lips down to wrap over the sensitive head and suckled gingerly at the obscene wetness.

Shuichi couldn't help but notice how soaked Kokichi's underwear had become, even before Shuichi had his mouth on it. The teasing and kissing had Kokichi pliant and dripping pre, in stark contrast to his earlier state.

Shuichi liked the taste of Kokichi's come, and although having his mouth stuffed with Kokichi's used panties satisfied him in a way he wasn't quite ready to confront, he wanted nothing more than to feel Kokichi's bare cock against his lips.

He gripped onto the elastic and pulled down, careful not to tear the fabric. Kokichi graciously lifted his hips in support, and with that, he was entirely nude. This action reminded Shuichi of the fact that he had somehow momentarily forgotten; Shuichi had hands. Two of them even! And the fact that those hands were not being put to better use was absolutely criminal.

As Shuichi went to lower his head once again, he lifted his hands, relishing in Kokichi's delirious moan when his fingers reached their destination.

All at once, Shuichi pulled at Kokichi's hardened nipples and fervently sucked over his dripping cock.

Kokichi screamed.

Despite his lack of experience, Shuichi felt utterly comfortable and confident licking Kokichi's twitching cock. In fact, he found himself moaning into each kiss, letting his tongue explore, and suckling the soft folds to see what would make Kokichi scream the loudest. Shuichi was swept in complete supplication and all too eager to offer his tongue in worship.

Startled by his own arousal, Shuichi- a detective- was suddenly able to put years of nail-biting, gum-chewing, and lip-worrying together. It only took over two decades and the noble sacrifice of hundreds of ruined pencils.

On the topic of ruined pencils, Shuichi found himself desperately rutting into the mattress. Every lick brought him closer to his own edge. He didn't know how much longer he would last, only that he needed Kokichi, to have Kokichi fill his mouth.

Uncomfortably hard, Shuichi longed for more friction but didn't want to take any attention away from Kokichi. Shuichi compromised by lowering one hand, making sure to offer Kokichi hard, slow laps, to compensate. Shuichi quickly adjusted his cock, bunching nearby fabric into a makeshift sleeve, anything to give him that bit of contact he needed. As soon as he felt there was just enough pressure, he rushed his hand back to Kokichi's chest.

Kokichi was enrapt by the varied sensations, delighting in the way his loud pleasure quieted his ever-racing mind. He lifted his open legs, wanting to give himself entirely to Shuichi, to his perfect little mouth.

As Shuichi rubbed into Kokich's gorgeously firm nipples, he realized with a groan that in the process of positioning his cock, he had coated his fingers in precome. The same fingers that were now making Kokichi buckle and shout. He thought about how Kokichi must look from above, his eyes squeezing tight, biting his lip, overwhelmed with pleasure, and his abused redded chest, streaked with Shuichi's come. Shuichi's legs began to quake, hips moving rapidly. He couldn't come yet, he couldn't not without Kokichi, he needed to taste his come, needed Kokichi to finish inside of him.

He focused all of his attention onto Kokichi, wrapping his lips around him and sucking deeply, pulling Kokichi's cock in with strokes of his tongue. Shuichi flipped the tip of his tongue in the perfect spot, and suddenly, Kokichi thrust his hips up and crossed his ankles in the air. Before Shuichi could react, Kokichi pushed his heels down onto the back of Shuichi's head, forcing him onto his cock and completely cutting off his air.

With that, Shuichi couldn't wait anymore. He came, whimpering into Kokichi. He felt himself make a mess out of his comforter, come sputtering out. He tried to keep his mouth moving but struggled to push through the spasms. As if in response to his misbehavior, Kokichi grabbed Shuichi by his hair, gripping tightly with both hands, and Not wanting to leave Kokichi hanging, he stuck out his tongue and allowed Kokichi to rut against him.

Kokichi felt heat building: need on need. He tightened his grip as he pushed Shuichi's head faster. He wanted so much, felt so much. He looked down and as he saw Shuichi, beautiful Shuichi, pressed into him, so focused on his body. Kokichi couldn't help but come.

He released his grip, and his legs shook upwards. He didn't realize his screams could get so loud, that orgasm could be this intense. He rode out the spasms as long as he could until the sensitivity started to hurt, and he pulled up his legs and rolled onto his side, panting.

- - -

Kokichi kept his eyes closed as he attempted to catch his breath. He lay still and felt himself sink into the mattress. His limp body felt relaxed, but the wetness pooled between his legs was getting a bit icky. Moreover, naked atop the blankets, he was starting to feel cold. He stretched his legs back down and was surprised that he didn't bump into any limbs along the way. He smiled and rolled onto his back, ready to commend Shuichi on his excellent dodging skills, when he froze.

Shuichi wasn't there.

Of course he wasn't.

Why would he be, they were finished.

There wasn't anything else he would want to do with him. Kokichi felt himself shiver and wrapped his own arms around his chest. Kokichi then realized with a start that Shuichi likely wasn't finished with him. His mind flashed to few times he had failed to get a guy off to their liking, not fast enough, not hard enough. Kokichi heard his breath before he felt it; he was breathing rapidly, and the shivers had turned into shakes. He felt a familiar stab of pain in his chest.

This was the exact opposite of what he came here for; he was so pathetic. Kokichi bit into his lip and pressed his nails into his skin. Did he think something had changed? That suddenly Shuichi would see him as anything more than an easy fuck? So pathetic, what? He wanted to be held? Cuddled? Tears welled in his eyes. A freak like him should feel grateful someone like Shuich could stand to touch him, and he couldn't even do that right. He couldn't breathe.

This was worse than burning; he was drowning.

He messed it all up he messed it all up, and now Shuichi was gone.

- - -

Shuchi swore he heard sobs as he approached the bedroom door, fresh sheets in hand. But as he turned the knob, the only thing he could see was Kokichi, bright-eyed and looking no different from when he first entered Shuichi's apartment. In fact, Kokichi seemed to vibrate with energy, jumping forward onto his knees as he exclaimed. "Guess you really live up to your title there, huh Succi? Nishsihi ~ sowwy about all that!" Kokichi kept his hips in the air as he slunk his upper body onto the mattress, resting his weight on his elbows. Shuichi twitched as Kokichi's arms stretched dangerously close to the disgusting mess he really did Not want Kokichi noticing. Kokichi deepened his voice and looked up at Kokichi through his long lashes, spreading his legs further apart. "Now what do you want me to do for you? You can fuck me however you wanna, you know?"

Oh god, Kokichi's hand was about to touch Shuichi's-no please, god no. Shuichi quickly interjected, "Oh! Um, well, I actually think I'm good. And, uh," Shuichi motioned away from the sheets, "I think you should get off the bed."

Kokichi lay still for a moment before leaping off the bed and facing Shuichi with an unnervingly wide grin. "Mmmhmm! Okay! Well, like I said earlier, I'm tooottally fine getting fucked on the floor. I can get on my knees right now-"

Shuichi cut him off, not wanting to linger on the fact that his desperate barely-not-a-virgin ass had finished without even needing Kokichi to touch his cock. "That's really, uh, not necessary." God, Shuichi could barely stand to make eye contact with Kokichi. Shuichi was so fucking gross, how could Kokichi even stand it?

Shuichi began changing his sheets and so caught up mentally enumerating all the reasons why he was disgusting, it took him a minute to realize that Kokichi was unusually quiet. Before Shuichi could comment, Kokichi spun away from him and broke the silence.

"Well I've actually got another guy waiting up for me, so if you've had enough of my services, I'd like to get to my next appointment." Kokichi bent over to pick up his discarded clothing, dressing in fast, tight, motions.

Shuichi tried to keep his body from dropping with his heart. He struggled to hear over the intense ringing before remembering his conversation with Kaito. Kokichi couldn't go like this.

"Kokichi, wait, are you okay?" Shuichi barely managed to get the words out, in stark contrast to Kokichi, who quickly fired his response,

"Never better! But I'll be bad if I'm late and I think I've already been punished enough for one night, so if you'll excuse me Saihara."

This wasn't right, this was not how he wanted things to go. Kokichi couldn't be leaving; they hadn't even talked. Shuichi called out, "Kokichi, wait- wait!" Shuichi reached out to Kokichi and brushed against the crescent indents on the sides of his arms. The contact seemed to spur Kokichi forward, who moved even faster out the door and out of the apartment, picking up his coat along the way but not bothering to put it on. He slammed the door behind him and walked into the hallway, half-naked and alone.

#oumasai #saiouma #danganronpa #drv3 #fan fic rec #trans kokichi ouma #archive of our own #mmbau #match my breath #danganronpa v3 #kokichi #shuichi #n-s-f-w #1 8 + O n l y

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istheresomebodywhocanimagine · 6 years ago

Note

Thank you, love! Can I please have a double ship? I’m a fat bottomed girl who is a tomboy - I’m not into typical “girly” stuff and I love hanging around with boys discussing politics, sports (I’m a huge sports nerd), listening to metal. I love war movies and am interested in history (WWII especially) though I’m studying Journalism. I also don’t like wearing skirts or dresses or heels. I’m a loyal friend who will always be there to listen and help you. I’m very clumsy and often trip over my feet.

Sssssssshello fellow sports fan (i’m not even joking even though that sounds so nerdy) so what do u think about the kc royals i know they suck ass but like.... im so dedicated to my boys and i’ve seen them kick the yankees ass at yankee stadium (FUCK YOU JOE MAZZELLO)

ships r below the cut sjkdfjkds

For BoRhap, I ship you with Joe Mazzello!

For obvious reasons - I mean, a girl that’s into sports and is extremely loyal? Joey Mazz would bus a nutttt

Anyways, you’d probably meet Joe while doing some work as a sports journalist. Deciding against the box seat that you usually took during a Yankee’s game for focus reasons, you opted to sit down with the public in the stands, and you got seated next to Joe.

Joe was respectable enough for most of the game - once he got a bit loose on the juice, though, he had some mouthy tendencies, and every last word was directed angrily at the officials.

At one point, he was so angry that you couldn’t hold in your laughter as you kept book, missing a tally for a ball but not caring too much as you stared in amazement at the fiery copper-headed man beside you. His double-black Yankees hat fell off of his head as he stood abruptly, and you took your boot-clad feet off of the seat in front of you as you leaned down to grab it for him.

“Fucking terrible call! That was in the strike zone, that ump is full of shit,” he muttered as he sat back down in a huff, pausing before getting a curious look on his face and starting to search for his hat.

“Looking for this?” you asked, a teasing edge to your voice, and Joe’s attention snapped over to you, recognition immediately flooding his eyes as he smiled gratefully and took the hat.

“Thanks a ton, I just can’t stand those damn umps sometimes.” Looking down at the stat book on your tablet, he raised an eyebrow in inquiry before pulling his hat back on his head. “Keeping book for anything special?”

“I work for the New York Post. Sports columnist,” you explained, locking your screen to save battery after a strike was finally called and the fourth inning came to a close. Joe made a ‘not bad’ face, then gave you a grin.

“So, Yankees fan?”

“Uh, you know it,” you scoffed, nodding as you looked out to the field and smiled before making eye contact with him again. He had a kind gaze, you noted, and his smile was just as evident in his eyes as it was in his actual smile. “Wouldn’t miss a game for the world. Not even that exhibit on Governor’s right now.” You felt your stomach flipping a bit, Joe watching you very intently and almost intimidating you with how genuinely invested he was in what you had to say.

“The World War II one?” Joe inquired, and he chuckled when you made a positive noise in response. “I was in a show about WWII a couple years ago. Maybe you’ve heard of it? The Pacific?”

“That was you?” you gasped, involuntarily reaching out and grabbing his arm. Although the both of you registered it, you awkwardly decided not to say anything and just continued talking, Joe trying to mask his reaction at the tingly feeling your touch left on his arm. “Holy shit, I loved that show! I didn’t even recognize you.” Laughing, you let go of his arm and just paused for a moment, recalling how excited you’d been about that miniseries.

“Yeah, not my biggest claim to fame, but definitely up there. Still doesn’t get me recognized at baseball games, though. I got that more in the 90′s.”

“The 90′s - you must have been a baby!” you teased, in disbelief that he was any older than 25. There was no way he was anything but a toddler back in the 90′s.

“God, the closer I get to my 30s, the more that excites me,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Unfortunately, I was a little more than a baby back then. I was a whole, grown kid.”

“Grown kid - what a paradox,” you scoffed, giving him a gentle eye roll as a few people around you chuckled at something. “Alright, I’ll bite - in the 90′s, what were you in?”

“Would you believe me if I said some commercials and that was it?” Pursing your lips, you gave him an unmoved look and he chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. You were surprisingly adorable despite the currently deadpan expression. In fact, he was beginning to like all of your expressions, and all of your mannerisms. You were pretty laid-back for a woman of your age - like you were comfortable not putting up a front around him and men in general. “I was in Jurassic Park.”

“No way!” you gasped, thinking back to the movie and vaguely remembering a little boy around your age that had resembled him. “Oh my god, all I remember about it is that I wanted to be your friend... and I had an embarrassingly big crush on Jeff Goldblum.”

“Oh god, me too,” Joe agreed, waving a hand dismissively at the thought that anyone didn’t feel things for Jeff Goldblum.

Some faint laughter and shifting glances around you suddenly distracted you from your intense conversation with Joe, and you looked around for a moment before groaning and shielding your eyes at the jumbotron, trying not to laugh. “We’ve been called out.”

Joe looked at the large screen to see the both of you with a superimposed timer beneath you, dubbed the “Oblivious Cam.” You’d both been so invested in the conversation, they’d nearly been timing you for a minute by the time you realized. Waves of embarrassment washed over the two of you as you realized everyone in the stadium had watched what you had assumed was a mainly private interaction. Suddenly, the hand on the arm thing was mortifying.

“Well, at least we look good,” Joe offered, waving to the camera and shrugging before they kicked it off, going into the fifth inning. Joe was right, he did look damn good. And the fact that he thought you looked good too, despite your lack of commonplace women’s wear around a baseball game (see: tight-fitting unbuttoned jerseys, short shorts, heels, etc.). You’d shown out in some jeans and a ratty jersey you’d had since God knows when, with some combat boots to pull it all together. And he still thought you looked good.

He very much did. He thought you looked so good, in fact, that he took you out for drinks after the game. And then sitting down with the public became a regular occurrence for you - even though Joe wasn’t at every game, he showed up to far more games than he would have regularly, just so he could see you. But he’d never admit that, not even up to the day that he asked you out.

Which, of course, you’d been floored - men usually don’t ask out one of the boys. But you said yes, of course! And a couple months later, when he offered to fly you out to California to see the baseball movie he’d been working on about his brother, you jumped at the opportunity.

Mainly because it was an away time for Yankees.

Oops.

When you showed up on set with Joe, the cast immediately welcomed you as one of their own, and you took up residence in the bleachers/near the fence, psyched to see what they were working on for the day and also stoked because you’d probably become an extra because of this appearance. Acting credits on top of journalism? Score.

Today was the day they were filming Pat’s breakdown, and you were excited to see just how riled up Joe could get as you leaned against the admittedly searing-hot chain-link fence. Between takes, Toby, who’d taken quickly to befriending you, came over in all his English glory to visit with you about the upcoming shots.

“You ready to see Spaz Mazz?” he joked, making you laugh at the corny nickname as you nodded, letting go of the chain-link for a moment.

“Absolutely. I’ve seen Joe at baseball games, so can’t wait to see who he absolutely rails today.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day, because it’s me,” Toby chuckled, fixing his hat as Joe caught sight of the two of you, smiling and waving before going back to whatever directorial duties he was working on. Waving back, Toby sighed melodramatically before turning to you. “He yells at quite a few of us, but in the table-read, he really let me have it in this scene. The struggles of being the fun one,” he lamented, making you roll your eyes and wish him good luck as Joe called for the next shot to start.

And in a few moments, you saw exactly what Toby meant. Well, not saw. You just got to listen as Joe absolutely went off on Manny’s character in the dugout, a gleeful laugh leaving your lips as you heard him threaten to shove a bat up Zapata’s ass, then yelling at Palacco for shitting away his talent. After the more emotional part, you burst out laughing when a sudden, “Oh, shut the fuck up, Zapata!” rang in your ears.

Covering your mouth quickly, you resorted to just grinning while you listened to them methodically reconstruct the scene over and over, taking several shots in the mid-afternoon heat before deciding to call it since the lighting was waning, not providing for the right time of day for the shot that was slotted next.

Joe was one of the last to finally filter off the field, finding you immediately and giving you a mildly-tired grin as he wrapped his arm around you, walking off towards the parking lot with you.

“Toby said Seb’s in town and wants to meet up for dinner with Chace and us. You hungry?”

“Starving,” you affirmed, leaning against him a bit as you climbed up the hill. “That was an... interesting performance. You sound a little hoarse.”

“Yelling all day can wear a guy out,” he agreed with a small chuckle, pulling out his keys to his rental and stopping in front of the car to just stand with you for a moment. The eye-black on his cheeks was smeared from sweat, his hair a mess, and you could definitely tell he was slouching a bit, tired from the day’s proceedings.

But he still was smiling down at you, and you couldn’t help but smile back before leaning up and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into an affectionate kiss, which he eagerly reciprocated.

His arms wrapped around your waist, hands resting dangerously low on your back, but not enough to raise alarms, and you grinned against his lips before pressing a gentle peck to the lower one, murmuring just loud enough for him to hear.

“I like the baseball pants look on you.”

A throaty chuckle escaped his mouth and he gave you one last kiss before wrapping an arm around your waist and ushering you to the passenger seat, letting you open the door and start climbing in yourself before he swiftly reached out and pinched your ass, closing the door for you with an innocent grin on his face when you shot him a warning look.

“Couldn’t help myself,” he defended when he climbed into the driver’s seat after a few moments. “You brought up butts and you know yours is my favorite butt.”

“I’m glad,” you laughed, shaking your head as you watched him start the car, sucking your lower lip into your mouth for a moment before grinning mischievously. “But I wasn’t talking about your butt, though that was nice too.”

Joe’s eyes lit up at your statement, a light flush filling his cheeks as he wrestled with what you’d just suggestively implied. Looking over to you, his jack went slightly slack, and all he could manage was a soft “Oh.”

“Smooth, babe. Real smooth.”

“You caught me off guard, come on!”

And for Queen, I ship you with Brian May!

We all know that Brian struggled with being raised as a rather womanly boy, so your more masculine personality equals out beautifully with his feminine tendencies. In categories where he lacks a masculine touch, you make up for that absence, and when you have issues with a feminine touch, he’s right there to help you along.

Synergy!

Plus, heart eye emoji at the fact that you’re a fat-bottomed girl.

Anyways, I think you and Brian would be lifelong friends. The tall ol’ softie never would have survived high school without his loyal best friend, you, to guide him through that emotional rollercoaster.

But I really don’t think you’d have a crush on him at first. I think he’d be absolutely smitten with you from the get-go - you were his rock, the only person to ground him when he got too high-strung. But because of his tendencies to be high-strung and eternally confused, you never saw him as more than a close friend.

That is, until one night that you were hanging out with him and the boys, and Roger had you caught up in a particularly in-depth conversation about Black Sabbath’s eponymous album that had been released recently.

Roger was your go-to for anything metal related, which made Brian only slightly jealous as he watched the two of you intensely discuss whether you appreciated the blues notes that they brought to some of the songs on the album.

“I think The Wizard is the most genius one out of all of them!” Roger gushed, and you nodded in agreement as you listened to him start to ramble on about how much he loved the song. Always the listener, you only let your eyes roam for a brief moment, pausing when you saw Brian just past Roger’s scruffy golden-brown hair.

When he caught your eye, he sent you a small smile and a brief eye roll about Roger’s rants that made you grin, and you quickly looked back to Roger as he summarized his opinion, finally. “I agree, but what about N.I.B? You can’t tell me that it isn’t up there on the quality list.”

When Roger began to dissent against your opinion, you quickly excused yourself to go grab another drink and left him to simmer, instead making your way to the kitchen and pouring yourself the rest of the whiskey as Brian entered.

“Sounds like you guys had some really important stuff to discuss,” Brian observed as he pouted slightly at the empty whiskey bottle, instead fetching himself a beer.

“I love Roger, but he could talk my ear off if I didn’t learn when to say no.” Chuckling, your lanky friend joined you at your side and leaned back against the counter, opening his beer while you took a sip of the whiskey in your cup. He watched as your nose just barely wrinkled compared to the way that his scrunched up after every sip of straight bourbon, and admiration quickly overtook his features, not able to slip away fast enough when you looked up at him.

“What?” you laughed, cocking your head a bit when he smiled at you oddly, sitting his beer on the counter. “I know I left my flat in a hurry, but do I really look that rough today?”

“No, no,” he stammered, laughing nervously as he looked forward to observe your friends out in the living room. His heart was racing, and he feared that you could hear it from that close as he swallowed hard, speaking again. “Far from it.”

That brought a slight blush to your cheeks, and you looked forward as well, your brain racing a million miles a minute as you tried to calm down. Brian usually never made you this flustered, so it was confusing to you that such a simple comment could spike your heart rate so easily. What happened?

Looking over to him again, you desperately tried to work out what was different about Brian now versus every other time he’d made an offhanded flirtatious comment all throughout your childhood. He was still looking at the living room, his eyes brimming with something unreadable, and you realized how much he’d grown from the spindly little straight-haired preppy boy you’d grown up with.

Now he was even taller in multiple ways - of course, his height had shot up, but he also held himself in a more confident way too. He was unafraid for the most part, far from the nervous wreck you’d spent hours upon hours convincing to go do hoodrat shit with you.

He was so sure of things now. Even if he had momentary doubts, he’d never been focused on something more than he was with the band.

And, it did help that he was absolutely beautiful now. He’d began growing out his hair, and the curls that were on constant display were fascinating, jet-black and shiny and tempting to touch. His aquiline nose and toothy smile only added to the charm, all of it wrapped together by the warm hazel eyes that were always watching you, like right now, and suddenly you realized you were both staring at each other a moment too late as Roger came in, looking between the two of you.

Deciding against the obvious question, he instead raised an eyebrow and looked over to the empty whiskey bottle to your right, scowling. “Who did it?”

Thoroughly flustered and distracted, you took a moment to realize that Brian was pointing directly to you, and with an astonished cry, you smacked his hand away, cursing him as he laughed at you.

And from there, a slow burn of a friends-to-lover flame was alight. And I mean slow, as in not reaching culmination until 1973 or 1974, when they were really starting to make it big-time. After all, this was a ‘one of the boys’ relationship you’d had going on previously, so navigating from that to accepting your attraction to Brian and his requited attraction to you was difficult.

You’d never realized how much you really wanted to be more than just his friend until he was off on the Queen II tour and you’d gotten a call from Roger telling you that they were heading back suddenly, due to Brian’s rapidly declining health. And in those hours between that call and their arrival in London, you’d never felt more afraid.

Suddenly, you knew exactly what it was like to be on Brian’s side of things, so you rushed to the hospital to see him.

He was yellow, so off-color, and he looked so weak when you saw him that you almost started crying when he managed a smile at your appearance.

“Jesus, Brian, you’ve caught your death,” you muttered as you stood there next to his bed, knowing you couldn’t really touch him - that was the worst part. Now, more than ever, you wanted to hug him. But the risk of transfer was daunting, and you didn’t know if it was aggressive enough to be transmitted even by an embrace.

“Feels like it,” he laughed, his voice softer than ever before, and you frowned as you decided holding his hand was enough, taking the yellowing fingers between yours and lacing your hand with his, squeezing it gently when he gave you another soft smile. “Glad you’re here.”

“Wish we were anywhere but here, honestly,” you replied gently, on the verge of tears at the sight of your best friend so weak. “Do you need anything? Water? Food? A book?”

“Oh, shut up,” he mumbled at your fussing, a small laugh leaving his lips as he closed his eyes. “All I need right now is you. Thank you.”

“Never in my life would I expect to be thanked for hanging around and annoying the daylights out of you. Don’t you get tired of me, May?” you teased softly, trying to ease up the atmosphere as his thumb traveled over your knuckles slowly, the calloused, scratchy pad of this thumb leaving small white marks on your skin where it irritated you.

“Never,” he croaked out, so quiet you almost missed it, but a blush spread on your cheeks as you realized what needed to be said. It was now or never, and honestly, Brian was never going to have the balls to say it. That, unfortunately, was your department.

“Good. Because unfortunately, I really think you’re stuck with me for good now.”

“What?” he asked, not fully understanding what you were propositioning, although there was a hint of hope in his eyes as he opened them slowly, looking over at you.

“I think it’s about time we went on a proper date. You and me.” You gave him a sly smile, seeing a shallow fluttering of his chest as he reckoned with what you’d just said.

“Right now?” he whined softly, looking around at the room and sighing. “You really picked the worst time to decide that you fancied me back.”

“Oh, shut up.” It was your turn to send him an annoyed look as you stood up, giving his hand one last squeeze before heading towards the door, stopping right before you got there and looking back at him. “Anything you want me to smuggle up from the cafeteria for our date?”

He watched you for an exceedingly long time, staying completely silent and just admiring you before finally swallowing dryly and laughing a bit. “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

“I don’t think that’s on the menu down there, sorry, lovie.” He rolled his eyes at your attempt at teasing, and closed his eyes as you grinned to yourself, practically floating down the hallway on pure love.

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