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jq37 · 4 years ago

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 9 Safe Harbor

Out at Sea

We start this week on the recently commandeered La Fondue, milk raining down on our exhausted and injured PCs who are still reeling from Stilton’s betrayal. Most of Annabelle’s crew are even more badly injured so the PCs are forced to help sail the ship in a group skill check which 4/6 of them pass for a group pass. The gang watches the surviving enemy ships sail away and Jet considers blasting them with canons but the La Fondue doesn’t have artillery. Jet also asks Annabelle if maybe, now that they’ve saved all of their lives, they can break protocol and bring them to Candia instead of the Dairy Islands, a question she doesn’t answer at the moment.

(Edit: Wait! I should have called this section Sweet Life on Deck! Dangit! They better be on a boat again so I can use it!)

Most of the group start to fall asleep, understandable considering they’re living through the longest day of their lives, but Theo takes a second to talk to Cumulous first. He asks about Cumulous’s backstory and learns that the Spinning Star monks used to be able to teleport all over the place with teleportation circles made by Lazuli but, without her around to tend to them, they’ve been breaking down and are now unstable and dangerous to use. Him using one to get to them was a big risk and he really only made it because he’s one of the strongest monks. Additionally, as alluded to before, Candia being at war with the Concord released him from certain vows which allowed him to join the fight. They also bond over being the #1 and #2 Archmage Lazuli stans (or actually maybe #2 and #3 as we’ll find out soon) and Cumulous who is either really into magical weapons in general or magical weapons made by Lazli or a little of both gets emotional over Battlepop like he did over Sourscratch a scene before.

The next day, there’s a funeral for the one sailor Annabelle lost in the fight. Ruby ties the milk-silk handkerchief from Primsy to her collar in solidarity. Speaking of, Primsy shows up--still injured from the attempt on her life--and invites everyone not to tea, but to a parlay. Clearly affected by the recent events, she declares that she doesn’t recognize the excommunication of Amethar and questions the church’s position on witchcraft considering all the witchcraft her Candian allies used to save her. She’s also pretty chill about the whole Stilton thing considering.

Primsy says she’ll help them but first wants them to fill in the gaps in Brie’s brief letter. Amethar explains about how he was excommunicated for still officially being married to Katherine Ghee. During an aside to this conversation, he drops what I naively thought was going to be the headline news from this episode: Caramelinda was engaged to someone else before marrying Amethar--Lazuli! It was for political reasons in part but also a love match and when Lazuli died, she ended up getting married to Amethar to at least maintain the alliance. Anyway, Ruby asks if Cara knew about Ghee and Amethar says no one knew except Jack, Belford (the priest), and Ghee herself (plus his sisters but they’re all dead). Annabelle and Primsy question whether Amethar didn’t try to have the marriage annulled and he says that he did right after the war but she couldn’t be found. Annabelle says that there are a lot of little islands she could have run to in the aftermath of the war (a smart move considering the target that would be on her back) and says that Dairy ships have a better chance at finding Ghee if she’s still around so she’ll help arrange that.

They have a little convo-detour about various plot points:

Primsy asks how the Pontifex knew to ask Jack about Ghee in the first place. Ruby and Jet suggest she used magic or maybe found something in the files Ciabatta claimed had no Candian secrets.

Annabelle questions the fact that Plumbeline would name Ciabatta as the successor right before having to swear on the Book of Leaves. That seems to indicate that either she’s not working with the Pontifex or the Pontifex wanted to specifically and publicly rule out Ciabatta as a possible candidate.

Also, we learn that ex-communicating Amethar doesn’t take away his right to rule as Emperor. The Pontifex doesn’t have that authority, at least not on paper. But, as Ruby points out, she effectively has the authority by power. Still, if they can get the Book of Leaves and confirm Amethar was named emperor, that’s a huge point in their favor because he obviously wouldn’t declare war on Candia as emperor so the war would be without proper authorization and a violation of the Concord pact.

Theo and Amethar speculate that the Pontifex doesn’t actually want to name a new emperor and want to just “provisionally” (but really indefinitely) fill the power vacuum herself.

Anyway, Primsy reaffirms that the Dairy Islands are with Candia all the way and they continue to sail. They have 18 days before they land and Jet uses that time to finally read the rest of her banned book. You’ll remember that she already read about the first thing--the Profidian Heresy--which was an old, now heretical belief of certain members of the church that the Hungry One was as strong as the Bulb. We get a little bit of new info on that: One person who believed that doctrine and was later killed for it was a Veduit Priest (fight me Brennan) named Bartholomew Brocolpatch who was a mentor to a young Belizabeth Brassica.

Onto the second term--the Ramsian Doctrine (did not clock the Gordon Ramsay reference until it was mentioned on Adventuring Party). It is a full, end times, Revelations, Ragnarok type thing. Ruby helps with this because she speaks Bulbosi (which is like Candian Celestial or church speak). Basically what it says is that the Bulb can’t win until the Hungry One devours the world and the Hungry One won’t devour unhealthy souls (Ruby translates “healthy” from the Bulbosi phrases “farm to table” and “locally sourced”) so in order to bring about the end of days, there needs to be a destruction of all the trash people or, phrased differently because the word for people and food is the same in Bulbosi--the junk food.

Even knowing what happens later in this episode, this still might be the thing I'm most mad at Brennan about.

Cumulous later calls a meeting of all the Candians and drops a little more exposition on them. He says that the reason that Candia has magic and the other kingdoms largely don’t is because his order of monks curates and tends to the magic of the realm while other kingdoms neglect their sources of magic. He also says that the church’s power comes from others not having it. After Ruby mentions that she sees Lazuli on a semi-regular basis through her magic, Cumulous drops the bombshell that his power comes from the Hungry One--though he doesn’t worship them. It’s just like a power source. They also discuss Jet’s research on the end of days stuff and Jet thinks maybe the move is to spread as much junk food as possible to delay the apocalypse.

Homecoming

After a long time out at sea, the gang arrives at Port Syrup at the mouth of the Cola River. As they sail in, they see three sunk Imperial warships and that the port is heavily defended. Clearly they got the memo. And we quickly see who gave it to them when Brie and Manta Ray Jack run up to meet them! Amethar is super happy to see his friends alive and they also confirm that Cal made it out and so did basically everyone except the Swirlies (RIP). The Jawbreaker castle--Castle Many-Licks--is under siege but it’s very hard to break into and it seems like most of the rest of Candia is doing OK.

Brie thanks Ruby for her help in finding Manta Ray Jack and then confirms Amethar/Theo’s suspicions that the Pontifex is ruling in the absence of an emperor (she says that until Candia is back in the Concord, technically, there can be no emperor). He also swears to duel Liam who truly cannot stop putting his foot in his mouth (this time about the church and a *very* confusing..complement?), after the war.

Amethar and Cumulous have a quick aside where Cumulous once again says that his mission is more to protect the magic of Candia than them specifically. It just so happens that, right now, those two things are pretty aligned.

As they make their way back to Castle Candy (w/ their Dairy Island friends), the citizens are pretty stoked to see them so it seems that war with the Concord has not lessened the populace’s love for their king. They take a pit stop and get a war update. The mountains are full of Imperial soldiers and random marauders plus there are reports of “Long Live the Queen” written in Imperial soldier blood on the side of a mountain which isn’t ominous at all. Also, there’s a call for all the help they can get to defend Castle Candy because an army from Comida is coming. Ruby tries and succeeds in communing with Lazuli who sends her a vision: to help Castle Many Licks troop-wise, they’d have to leave Port Syrup defenseless basically which would be a huge strategic loss. Meanwhile, the army coming to Castle Candy is full of discord so there’s a better chance at being able to muster (not mustard) troops there and be successful. The Dairy peeps say they’ll help as well and leave for Lacramore--except for Brie who holds down the fort in Port Syrup and Jack who goes with them to Castle Candy.

They make it there, at like 4am and Carmelinda is there to meet them, full weeping in relief at her daughters’ safe return. Cal is also there (with fancy new pants) and very happy to see Amethar. Caramelinda is less happy to see Amethar and you can clearly feel the tense conversation they’re gearing up for. The girls want to stay but Cara lays down the mom hammer and starts lecturing them. They all try to stealth away (non-daughters included) but Cara goes Full Mom and hits a Nat 20 to eyes-on-the-back-of-her-head notice. She stomps her foot and traps them all in caramel, demanding they all stop messing around and go to bed. Theo Messages her to give a quick word in favor of the girls and their maturity and battle prowess which Cara acknowledges.

Cal gets acquainted with Cumulous while Amethar follows Cara into their chambers for a convo that had me feeling like *I* was in trouble. She’s emotionally overwhelmed in a kind of understated and detached way as she talks to Amethar--she’s again openly weeping but not really about him. She doesn’t expect much from him. Him never telling her and hoping the problem would go away like a child makes sense. But his sisters knew which means Lazuli knew and never told her which hurts a whole lot more because, “Lazuli I loved with all my heart and this is just politics.” Ow. Amethar promises he’s going to do better. She doesn’t seem convinced as she leaves the room.

Later (Note: I’m not 100% clear on the timeline since Siobhan says when they wake up but it seems like it’s still dark in the next scene), Ruby takes the “For Candia” note from Lapin and brings the rest of the PCs to the Sugar Plum Fairy’s standing stones to have a little funeral. Liam finds a peppermint seed and puts it down for Preston. Cumulous is also there and has the urge to meditate while everyone goes back to the castle.

Rocks Fall

Ruby and Jet see, as their mom walks out of her study, a piece of tearaway lingerie in her desk as she locks the door behind her. And it’s not Jet’s. You know the girls gotta investigate that and Ruby, of course, gets a Nat 20 to pick the lock. In fact she doesn’t have to pick it. She approaches it with an air of mischief and it yields to her, opening without her even having to break out her thieves' tools. They find a letter from Lazi Fierce (interesting name choice) of Lazi Fierce Lingerie who apparently has been spying on them for their mom since they were little (which is funny considering she seemed outraged about their buying lingerie in ep 1). The letter also cryptically refers to something she’s keeping hidden in the attic of her shop and that she needs to leave and she doesn’t know when she’ll be back so if Cara needs it, she should go get it. Much like Siobhan/Adaine stealing that book in S1 of Fantasy High, there is no way the girls were gonna get that info and *not* follow up on it. They grab Liam and go.

With a 25, Ruby easily picks the lock and...we cut to Cumulous.

As he’s meditating, the Sugar Plum Fairy appears to him in a traditional, cutesy form. Cumulous sees through the glamour and asks what she wants. She says she wants the magic of Candia safe, same as him and says she would owe him a boon if he brought the royal family (who she needs safe) to the Great Stone Candy Mountain. She says there’s safety there for them and Candia’s magic. Maybe not in the way Lazuli planned but this is a better plan. Cumulous says he’ll think about it.

Calroy finds Amethar and takes him to the ramparts of the castle to have a guy chat and also talk strategy. As they get up there, Amethar sees that there’s a ton of soldiers in tents out in the fields. And then he feels a knife in his back. Brennan asks for 3 Con saves.

Water dagger.

He takes 34 points of damage (about half his HP) and is paralyzed as Cal starts to monologue about how he’s always hated Amethar for being so lucky. Fifth in line and somehow makes it to the throne while he’s stuck having to wheel and deal for everything he has. He reveals that he had Rococoa killed when she found out he was selling weapons to Cersians AND that the tents in the field aren’t all Candian tents. Some of them are Ceresians. He got Stilton interested in Primsy. He set up the cheese ambush. He worked with Alfredi to get the water daggers to Kerradin. He told the Pontifex about Ghee (he was in that conversation you’ll remember). He *also* says that, in her younger days, the Pontifex had Citrina (who he claims to have actually liked) killed in the street by Vegetanian knights.

“I wonder if they’ll call you Amethar the Unfallen after this.”

Boom, Amethar is sent over the castle walls.

Jet, Ruby, and Liam are in the attic and they see a gleam of golden light from a chest where something is clearly being held. Brennan makes everyone roll Initiative as they walk in and Liam sees four shapes in the room move, all masked, dressed in black, and holding water-steel daggers.

Ally scrambles for combat dice--because this is a STORY episode what is HAPPENING--and attacks for, in total, 67 damage to one guy who smells of sourdough and does not drop. He hides and Ally, in a burst of realization, puts together that it must have been Ciabatta, something confirmed by Brennan’s coy smile as he rolls a million dice.

Emily and Siobhan hold hands and brace for whatever’s coming.

Ruby is hit by a dagger and Jet, it seems, is hit by two (since she takes 6 saving throws to Ruby’s 3). Ruby takes 49 damage (down to THREE) and Jet takes 53+51, dropping her and poisoning her. She has to make a death save with disadvantage (bc of the poison) which she passes.

Ruby wants to stay and fight but Liam and Jet insist she run so, visibly distraught, she casts Invisibility on herself and runs for Theo. Liam casts Rope Trick, grabs Jet, and brings her into a little pocket dimension with him. Ciabatta takes off his mask and tells his men to find them and they say, “Yes Imperator.” They leave. We’re out of combat.

But Jet still has death saves to make.

Nat 1.

That’s two fails.

Liam tries to make a DC 15 medicine check to stabilize her or at least give advantage but fails.

She rolls again.

Nat 1.

As she lays in the Rope Trick, bleeding out, Liam trying his best to stanch the wound, Jet feels a glow on her Locket of the Sweetest Heart. Ruby feels the glow as she sprints over the bridge back to the castle and as she reaches the other side, the glow extinguishes.

“Tell Ruby I love her,” Jet says to Liam, not from her body, but standing above her body. “And tell her she did the right thing.”

The spirit of her aunt Rococoa shows up to ferry her to the other side.

“Good job soldier. You got her home. Ruby’s gonna be alright. Work’s not over. There’s plenty we can do from this side. You ready?” Oh, hell yeah she is.

Which brings us to Theo who is in the castle, looking for other knights, when he finds Sir Toby in his room, butchered. The door is slammed and locked shut behind him by some of Cal’s men who taunt him about eating Toby’s corpse to survive. But Theo isn’t just a brawn guy. He’s the ward of Archmage Lazuli. He casts Knock and the door flies open.

Cumulous hears shouting from the castle and runs towards it immediately.

And Amethar is still falling.

Brennan says he has the time to make 3 checks to come out of paralysis. He comes out of paralysis on his first turn and, as is mechanically useful and narratively appropriate, goes into a rage. As he falls he thinks about Ruby doing that slick aerial arrow shooting last ep and Jet stabbing that dude with him during the ambush. He sees a point of light across town cross the bridge and go out and he *knows* Jet is dead. If he wasn’t raging before, he’s raging now. He falls and takes 72 points of damage, halved to 36. He’s still up. Amethar the Unfallen, yet again.

The sounds of war erupt and that’s where we end our ep.

Safe harbor my ass.

In Memoriam

Oh, Jet.

I’ve known this was something I was going to have to write for ages now. I’m honestly only surprised this wasn’t the first one. Jet has had a date with the Grim Reaper for ages now and it was just down to confirming the date and time.

The moment she said, “I go on top of the carriage and lay myself perfectly to protect Ruby,” she might as well have started picking flowers for her grave. Her willingness to throw herself in harm’s way to protect anyone she held in any regard without the slightest hesitation was always going to be her downfall. A noble end to be sure, but still an end. And it sucks that, if she had to die, she didn’t die in a blaze of glory in battle, but she made the most of her senseless death. She died, telling Ruby to run, wishing she could have done more to save her, telling Liam to make sure she knows that she’s loved and that she didn’t abandon her, she did the right thing. Not a single thought for herself, only for her sister.

Jet, who never wanted to be queen and now never will be.

Jet who longed for war and fell right on the cusp on the biggest one in years.

Jet who was forced by circumstances to step up and did so every time.

I didn’t include her last exchange with Rococoa in the recap because I wanted to use those lines here.

Her aunt says, “I have bad news. If you thought the adventure was gonna end, it’s not.”

“Well,” Jet replies with a slight smile, “if you thought the adventurer was gonna die, she definitely fucking wasn’t.”

The Bastard Jet Rocks. RIP.

1 Million Years Dungeon

That damn cake bastard and his stupid fancy pants. I KNEW it I KNEW it I hate that I’m right but I KNEW IT.

Not that it was a crazy puzzle as a viewer. In a story like this there *has* to be a traitor to the king and for someone to be a traitor, they first have to be a friend. And Cal has been *real* friendly. Brennan thought he could throw us off the scent by saying that Cal was is his DMNPC, as if we don’t already know he’s the enemy. That’s just more evidence for the pile baby! I SEE YOU VILLAIN.

But damn if it didn’t still hurt when it happened. After what he’d just been through? That’s just insult to injury, or vice versa I suppose. And in a story ep???? Brennan?????

Wild that he waited 20 years to off this dude and then monologued his entire plan and didn’t wait to make sure Amethar--the famously Unfallen--was dead though.

Anyway, absolute BASTARD MAN (and not in the cool Jet way). I need him DEAD and I need that to happen ASAP.

(Also, this is more on Brennan but full-circling Lou’s “shit/piss” running joke with a MURDER ATTEMPT? That’s an extra year dungeon my guy.)

Sunnyside Up

“You’ve struck me. Why have you done this? It was wee and gentle but you've struck me nonetheless.” I love Primsy with my whole heart.

The “slam down big style” line was, like, moderately funny when I first heard it but every repetition in and out of game made it exponentially funnier.

“If we have to follow the rules, you have to follow the rules!”

“Everyone needs to stop making sworn enemies. We already have enough.”

“I sentence you to death.”/“No let him do it.” and then his, “Later.” So good.

It didn’t *end* funny but I maintain that that the, “There’s a *war* going on,” back and forth between Jet and Ruby was gold.

This isn’t actually from the episode but everyone roasting Brennan with full lies when he gets up to use the bathroom in the Adventuring Party is one of the funniest things Dropout has ever put out. Also, Murph taking Brenna’s cookie story and Murphing it is very good. Just watch this week’s AP, even if you don’t usually.

Things I’m Concerned About

Going into this battle ep, Ruby has THREE HP and Amethar has FIFTEEN. Like I know Rococoa said Ruby would be OK but I hope that has some mechanical effect because IDK ABOUT THAT.

Is Lady Donetta w/ Cal or was she just a pawn, like Primsy?

Also, idk if this matters but I can’t shake the thought that Cal murdered the Swirlies. Like it’s very probable that they just suck but the thought struck me.

Don’t love that it seems like Cal is going right for Cara this ep. Hopefully Theo (who Big Brained on that clutch Knock) can help her out and, if not, it looks like she has some skills of her own. I’m pulling for her.

How out the window is the format? Like, I’ve been concerned about a random combat ambush for a while now--partially because of the genre and partially because of how story heavy the tourney ep was. Things have been bleeding through already and now, at the halfway point, it seems like a plausible time for Brennan to fully throw the rulebook out the window and be like, “Game’s changed y’all.” They didn’t roll for initiative at the end of last ep. I wonder if that’s logistical or somehow relevant (like, are they going *right* into combat or not).

AHHHHHHH, OK, Jet’s death. As much as I felt it coming, ouch. And not just ouch for me Ouch for everyone. I am so worried about how this is going to break Ruby specifically. Like, poor Cara--she *just* got her daughter back only for her to die in her old stomping grounds because of a letter *she* had--poor Amethar--he’s outlived his firstborn who he saw safely through battle and loved more than anyone besides his other daughter, just like he outlived all his sisters--but Ruby? This is going to CRUSH her. She egged on the sneaking out. She ran instead of staying to try and help (correct move but total guilt trip). She’s never been alone before. I know we’ve all been kinda tense for whatever that, “Family is vulnerable,” line from Siobhan in the trailer is but man I’m *so* much more tense now. I wonder if she’s gonna take a class tweak like Liam did (I know he had more of a reason for it but still curious).

(Also, Theo who’s whole purpose in life is protect the Rocks family having Jet die and Amethar almost die in one night? RIP to that dude’s mental health.)

Note: I recognize that there’s a theory floating around that Cara set up what happened as an ambush and is evil but I refuse to consider that and if that makes me boo boo the fool in two episodes, so be it.

Seriously though, Concerned about whatever that “Long Live the Queen” stuff is. Like it could be referring to Cara but it could be referring to someone else entirely. Either way, sketchy.

Lol also the health food-pocalypse. That’s a thing. Extremely wild that that’s not even close to the headline of this episode.

I may have trusted Lapin by the end but I do *not* trust the Sugar Plum Fairy. Whatever’s going on with her and Cumulous? Do not vibe.

Ciabatta better be toast by the end of this show. This isn’t a concern. This is my Denny’s order. Toasted Ciabatta with a side of dice I can pour down Brennan’s throat.

Five More Things

So, Emily’s new character. I have two thoughts. One (and this was suggested to me by @buck92) is that she’s playing the Queen’s Champion--Ser Amanda Maillard who’s been mentioned twice--once in the first episode by Theo and Sir Toby and once this episode as part of the war effort (leading troops south). A named character doing important things but with no art sounds like a possible backup PC. Also, Emily getting to play this cool knight who Murph’s character is slightly jealous of would be A Dynamic. The other strong possibility is the Sugar-free chocolate warlock Brennan mentioned in episode 1 when they were on the way to Comida. I thought they were gonna get jumped by that character and they weren’t which makes me think that’s a PC too. It would also make Emily 3 for 3 on warlocks!

RIP to all of us who made the Bread Wedding joke before the season started. We were right, but at what cost.

Ruby talking about how it doesn’t matter what she does because she’s not next in line and then having Jet suddenly die and instantly becoming crown princess has painfully Big Amethar Energy.

Also, a nat 20 to break in and find the letter and then two Nat 1 death saves? The dice REALLY wanted Jet dead. Addendum: Almost forgot! Liam *just* learned Twinspeak! Like, off. What a narrative hand-off having that happen right before Jet died. It was like written in the stars.

It’s just a little moment but I loved Cara including Liam in her lecture with a little, “You are included, Liam.”

One More Thing!

This has been circulated a bunch already but I still wanted to shout out this very good video edit by @breadddie! It hit me real hard man.

Also, I don’t think I can link this properly without tumblr getting mad at me but this animatic with Amethar’s Fall set to What’s Up Danger on Twitter is excellent!

Edit: Here’s a link to an ask where I link to the animatic! Novatank is the artist’s @ btw.

#a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #the royal report #man there was so much in this ep I'm sure I didn't capture all my stray thoughts but that's ok!#this is a recap if you want thoughts on s/t I didn't mention for some reason hit me up!

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dreamingthedoe · 5 years ago

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Beltane: The Special Quarantine Edition

Beltane is the Celtic sabbat of fertility, celebrated from sunset on April 30th to sunset on May 1st, meant to mark the full flush of spring and the rising heat of summer. Beltane has its roots in how ancient Celts worshipped a solar deity named Bel, and celebrated his victory over the darkness of winter. In many pagan, duotheistic religions such as Wicca, Beltane recognizes a God (the Green Man, the Oak King, Jack in the Green), and Goddess (May Queen, May Bride, Flora). Beltane is the final consummation of the God and Goddess, who have been courting since the first stirrings of spring. Their union invokes summer and all its bounty. This sabbat is traditionally centered around fertility, represented by flowers, phallic/yonic imagery, and fire. I personally believe in queering up these traditions and celebrating the powers of creation in less cishet ways - honoring the cycles of the land and seasons, but using less literal interpretations of God/Godess and binary/gendered genitalia, etc. Beltane is also the halfway point to Samhain, a twin sabbat that shares the same thinness of the veil between the world of the tangible and the intangible, physical and spiritual. Magic is powerful at this time, but it also means taking more steps for personal protection while practicing magic, and it’s a good time to ward against unfriendly spirits or energy.

Consider the following correspondences when setting up you altar, making an offering, or doing spellwork! Deities: Bel, Cernunnos, Flora, Brigid, Dagda, Xōchiquetzal, Dionysus, Demeter, Persephone, Amun, Bastet, Isis, Inanna, Astarte, Freyja, Freyr (avoided added ones from cultures that have been and are still actively worshipped to this day to the best of my knowledge, such as Kokopelli, as opposed to “dead” religions that have neo-pagan revivals) Colors: green, white, light pink, blue, and yellow Herbs: Honeysuckle, St John’s Wort, rose, lilac, oak, dandelion, hawthorn, foxglove, clover, violet, mint, thyme, mugwort, almond leaves, rowan, marigold, daisies, and lavender. But we’re quarantined, so you can use herbs/flowers from tea sachets, or even fake flowers! If you have some flowers blooming nearby and really need something, only take a tiny amount so that pollinators can have the rest (or better, take naturally fallen flowers. The good intent for the environment goes a long way with the gods and nature). Incense: Frankincense, jasmine, rose, lavender, patchouli, vanilla. No incense? A scented candle is fine, or essential oil on a warmer! Or make a stovetop potpourri with tea bags or vanilla extract! Food: Grain foods like oats and wheat (bannock/bread, oatcakes, oatmeal), honey, salad greens, strawberries, cherries, rhubarb (COOK THAT SHIT OR IT’LL KILL YOU THOUGH), eggs, cheese, and any aphrodisiacs such as chocolate, pistachios, oysters, asparagus, and hot chiles (and cook with aphrodisiac herbs such as fenugreek and saffron). Even a bowl of cereal works! The gods understand that you’re quarantined, and as always in magic: where there is a will, there is a way. Drink: Honeyed milk (dairy or non-dairy), mead, rosewater, herbal teas like jasmine tea, white wine, alcoholic beverages made with egg Altar symbols: cauldron (often filled with and surrounded by flowers), candles, mirrors, floral wreaths, ribbons

Potent Magic on this Sabbat:

Sex magic – Beltane is the premiere sabbat for celebrating sex – therefore, it’s the perfect time to practice sex magic. This can be done through solo sex or partnered sex (whether involving physical contact with a partner or joining intentions together across distance)! Sex magic can be results-oriented or practiced as a kind of “mysticism”. Sex magic practiced for manifesting a specific result keeps in tradition with Beltane, as the Celts were believed to have used sexual ritual on Beltane as a way to increase crop yields for the year. As it goes with all types of magic, everyone practices sex magic differently. In my practice, I use it as a way to simply increase my personal power, strengthen a magical bond with a partner, or exchange energy with a partner to gift each other our qualities and talents for a period of time (this is strengthened through repeated practice with the same partner). With partnered sex magic, be sure not only to have your usual consent talk, but also a consent talk about the ritual/magical aspect. This is not only because consent must always be informed and your partner may not be comfortable with having sex this way; it also ensures that your intentions are aligned and that energy exchange is balanced (otherwise, the manifestation might not succeed as you’d like, or one partner may be left feeling drained or otherwise unfulfilled). I can attach links to resources or write a little more in-depth about my personal experience if you are comfortable with that!

Fire magic - Using flame of some sort in your rituals is especially powerful right now! This can mean using fire in rituals to manifest a goal, such as burning a scrap of paper that you’ve written your intention on. I tend to stretch this definition to include heat, such as charming my tea as I add hot water to my tea sachet, or making magical stovetop potpourri. In my seiðr magic, I often stare into flames to achieve a trance state. I can write more about using fire for trance and divination as well!

Ecstatic dance - Pretty self-explanatory! Ecstatic dance can be used as a form of worship, manifestation, or simply for inducing a trance or “shamanic” state, depending on your personal beliefs and practices. If you are celebrating Beltane with others, one participant can use an instrument such as a drum for the others to dance to. Otherwise, playing music from speakers or headphones is fine as well! The important thing is to either focus on your intention, or clear your head and let the music bring you to a trance state. I can also send links to good resources for practicing ecstatic dance,

Spellwork: - Glamours - Divination (especially with mirrors!) - Protection - Spells to increase libido and creative powers - Manifestation/increase - Blessings for self-love - Blessings for partners and relationships

If you’d like ideas for spells, charms, and enchantments involving these subjects, let me know! I have some good ones in my grimoire.

Activites:

Decorating a Maypole – This tradition involves “maidens” (but literally whomever, fuck the binary fr) dancing and weaving around a pole while holding ribbons that had been fastened to the top, creating a beautifully woven pattern of ribbons down the structure. Don’t have a 20-ft pole to wrap copious amounts of ribbon around? Decorate a small stick with whatever ribbon-like materials you have about, and put it on your altar or centrally in your home!

Washing your face in morning dew – Not really something we can do in Phoenix, unless you are planning on camping somewhere north overnight! A good substitute is using water charged under the moon, or even just water purified with a spell or purifying crystals. I like draw a bath and purify the water, and focus on cleansing my energy while I take the bath.

Making a bonfire – This is especially difficult to achieve in quarantine. Just having a fire in the fireplace or a simple candle burning is enough! Traditionally on this day, all other fires would be put out save the community’s special Beltane bonfire, but turning off all of your other lights is just fine! Many Beltane traditions involve leaping over the bonfire/candle… I don’t really recommend this, because, you know, getting set on fire.

Handfasting and jumping over a broomstick – Probably highly irrelevant for most, but Beltane is traditionally a time of many marriages. Couples become handfasted when the officiant ties their hands together with a cord, usually woven from three ribbons, usually as the couple take their vows or exchange their declarations of love and devotion. Many couples would jump over a broom as well, to signify the leap from one stage of life to the next (this tradition was borne from couples being unable to afford formal ceremonies, and at one time leaping over a broom together could be seen as legally binding a couple in marriage).

Fertilize – If you have a garden or even a small plant, tend to it witch extra care! Fertilizing is recommended for a Beltane activity, but if your plant would suffer from being fertilized right now, don’t do it. Just speak encouraging words to your plant!

Explore your property – If you have the energy, explore around the outside of your home, or even just make some studied observations of your home interior. It’s your “land”, and it’s a good time to walk around and offer blessings and gratitude to your environment. If you’re able to drive somewhere deeper into nature, it’s a good time to go out and revel in the vibrant life being created all around us. As a Norse pagan, I personally make offerings to the landvættir (roughly, nature spirits) of the desert whenever I go out into nature to thank it.

Make special Beltane recipes! – Such as bread (I’m baking an iced lavender loaf myself), salads with berries, honeyed oatcakes, egg custard, an herb-y chicken stew, etc.

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moonlovers13 · 5 years ago

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Lost in LA: Collab

gift credit: @grethan-is-real , thank you :)

Word Count: 2.2k Summary: Famous LA YouTubers Dolan Twins and Valentine Black doing an epic collab. Warning: English is not my native language. Few or more mistakes. :)

Sneak-peak: here. Moodboard: here. C H A P T E R: 1

‘ Hello, world! Valentine is here! Welcome to my Youtube channel. As you can see, I'm not in my usual video room. Which you know where I am right now, you got it right. I am at Dolan Twins house! I know you want to see the twins before we go on video. But you'il see them soon. Don't forget to subscribe to my channel. At the end of this video, I have an explanation for you. Please don't forget to watch the video to the end. Now let's go to the twins. '

Valentine took the camera on the tripod and started walking inside the house. This video was very important to them. Dolan Twins and she will donate to a cancer hospital for losing their father a while back. She approached the white door and slowly clicked. Grayson opened the door. He was wearing a black T-shirt and black shorts. As usual. He smiled when he saw Valentine.

' Hello, beautiful neighbour! Welcome to Dolan House. ' Grayson hugged him.

' Ready for the video? ' she asked him. Valentine turned the camera towards him.

' I hope Ethan doesn't ruin the video. You know. I'm more artistic and cool. And Ethan is .. Nevermind. ‘

They both laughed and left the room. A few seconds later they reached the door of the other room. Grayson opened the door and walked in. Ethan was still asleep or pretending to be asleep.

' Ethan! Wake up dumbass! ' Grayson shouted Valentine was just watching them. ' E! Valentine is here. Bro wake up! Get your lazy ass out of that bed. Come on, I am bored and I have a beautiful guest. ' Grayson took the pillow on the side of the bed and began hitting his brother.

' I am going to leave these two alone. '

Valentine spoke to the camera and stepped out of the dining room into the large garden. There was a huge pool in the garden. And on the other side is a sitting area. The view of the house was beautiful. You could see all of Los Angeles, palm trees, endless sea views. Valentine put the camera on the table and crossed it. That's when Grayson and Ethan came up and sat down.

' Of course, you've seen the title of the video, but I have to tell you anyway. Grayson and Ethan are going to Sephora and they are going to buy full-face makeup for me. ' Valentine looked at both of them and laughed.

' I'm very nervous now! ‘ Ethan shouted, and Grayson looked at him. ‘ Oh my god! '

' He is a drama queen. Fuck man, relax. Don't look at him, Valentine. ' Grayson said and rolled his eyes.

' I have prepared a list for you in 13 products. ' Valentine took out the paper in his pocket and handed it to them, Ethan took the list and looked at it and couldn't hide the surprise on his face. ' I know you guys will do a good job. I'll be waiting for you here. Kyle, he knows where you're going. I've got permission from Sephora. Don't worry and be comfortable. '

' Bro! We have a lot to do! Please, E. Ethan. Look at me. Please don't mess up. Please. ‘ Grayson said and touched his brother's shoulder. ' Did you understand me? ' Ethan shook his head and laughed.

Kyle, their cameramen, took the camera on the table and followed it into their parking lot. Grayson opened the door of his baby blue Porsche and sat down in the driver's seat and fastened his seat belt.

' See you there. It will be so much fun. Oh my god Valentine, why are you doing this to us?! ' Ethan shouted. ' Anyway, guys. Enjoy the rest of the video. Let's the fucking go!

' Grayson, dude. Help me. Those lipsticks look the same! What the fuck. ' Ethan said and showed her the lipsticks.

' Buy both then! ' Grayson shouted. ' Be quick, Ethan. Everyone looking at us dude. This is so awkward. No offence guys. In the year 2019 anyone can wear makeup. No gender rules. But this is so weird for us. '

Ethan threw the lipsticks into his basket and kept walking. As they came towards the cash register, Kyle pointed at the charge, and Kyle turned the camera towards them again. They seemed shocked. Ethan took the package from the cashier and showed it to the camera.

' All done! I want to get the fuck out of here. Ethan! Will you stop sniffing the perfume bottles? Thank you. ' said Grayson.

' And guys we're going to buy another surprise for Valentine. We don't want you to see the surprise. See you on the purple couch. ' Ethan said, and raised his eyebrow and smiled.

Valentine was lying on the bed in Ethan's room and playing with the phone. When Kyle entered the room, she hung up her phone and set it aside. They walked over to the purple couch and Kyle set the camera and left the room and left them alone. Ethan handed the package to her and smiled, but he was very nervous. Grayson suddenly screamed and hugged her.

' Eww. Get off me. ' said Valentine and laughed. ' Let's see what you guys got. The package is heavy. I hope you got the foundation colour right. '

' Grayson picks to foundation shade. ' Ethan said and laughed.

Valentine was laughing at both of them as she pulled the products out of the package. They were both very successful in picking something. Except for one thing.

' Grayson. Can I ask some question? said Valentine.

' Yes. ' he looks at her and smiled.

' WHY DID YOU BUY BLUE EYESHADOW WITH RED LIPSTICK.' Valentine shouted and laughed.

' Okay okay, listen to me. E, said to me you like to wear red lipstick and use colourful eyeshadows. And you know blue is my favourite colour too. I have a blue car too. Which I like. And I am wearing a blue shirt now. We can match. ' Grayson winked and laughed, looking at the camera.

' Grayson! Ahhh. That was so cheesy. Shut the fuck up. ‘ Ethan looked at him and rolled his eyes. ' Jesus dude. I'm so sorry guys. My brother always like that. '

‘ I am telling my thoughts! Fuck you, Ethan. ‘ Grayson said, hits Ethan's head.

‘ Hey hey, don’t fight! Hey. That’s so mean Grayson. I never do that to my brother. ' Valentine said and looked at both.

‘ See! Grayson. Everyone can see now how to mean you are. Thank you, Valentine' Ethan said.

' I am not mean brother, you are the annoying one. And that makes me angry. Sorry, bro. ‘ Grayson touched his shoulder and smiled.’ Valentine, we have one more surprise for you. But I need to cover up your eyes. ' Grayson slowly closed her eyes with his hands.

‘ No.' Valentine said. ' No more surprises. '

Ethan laughed and walked up to the back room. Ethan came back to the room with a huge Gucci pack in his hand and showed it to the camera and sat down again.

‘Are you ready Val? ' Ethan asked and smiled.

‘ Why I am nervous right now ?! I need to calm down. I'm okay. Yes. I am ready. ' she said, and Grayson pulled his hands away. She looks at the Ethan, ‘ No way. Shut the front door. Oh my god. No, no, no, this is too much. '

‘ Come on! Open it! ' Ethan shouted. ‘ It’s your baby! '

Valentine took the package and started to open it. The twins knew how much she liked the Gucci. Marry, her best friend had the opportunity to work with Gucci for a week. They had come together for a campaign and had recently she invited to the Afterparties. The boys had bought a small handbag for her. It's a baby pink colour, had a small handle and a strap. It was a new-season piece.

' Oh my god .. This is beautiful. Thank you so much. I never expected that. Thank you guys .. ‘ she looked at them both and hugged them one by one.

' You know we can't be here on your birthday and we wanted to give you your present already.' Grayson said.

‘ You must be kidding me? Right? You're not coming to my birthday party? I am mad right now. ' she said. ' Fuck off Bailey. '

‘ Don’t say my middle name. I hate it.' Grayson said and narrowed his eyes.

‘ Of course, he is joking baby. We're coming to your birthday. ' Ethan said and she hugged him again. ‘ I can’t wait! ‘ Ethan laughed. ‘ Do you want to finish the video? '

‘ Oh right! Yes, guys, you watched the video, I hope you enjoyed it. Please don't forget to subscribe to Dolan Twins. And don't forget to watch the video on their channel. It was very hard for me! Their Instagram and snap chat accounts in the down below. Don't forget to check them out. Do you want to tell me what's going to happen on your channel? ' she said.

‘ Hell yeah, of course! Valentine had to say yes to us for a day. You know, Grayson and I sometimes like to push the limits! ' said Ethan and laughed. ' And of course, we have to say the most important thing. '

' Yes, as I said at the beginning of the video, I will have an important announcement. We would like to donate all of the income from these two videos to two important hospitals. I want to donate to the Los Angeles Cancer Treatment. ’ she said and smiled.

‘ And we Ethan and I donate Children's Hospital, Los Angeles. If you would like to donate, check the links below. This was important to us. Thanks for watching. Peace !' Grayson shouted. Valentine also waved and reached for the camera and turned off.

Grayson, Ethan and Valentine spent the entire evening editing. At 8 o'clock, Marry joined them and had dinner together. Dominos pizza has always been the curator of edit nights. Marry's channel all about vlog and everyday life. It was strange and funny that they met Dolan Twins. After Dolan Twins left the Sister Squad, Valentine sent a message telling them how sorry she was.

‘ Hey Dolan Twins, I am Valentine Black. Infamous YouTuber. I am so sorry for your lost. Fuck it, James. But I am here. Let’s hang out. I have pineapple pizza and sugar-free Redbull and of course dairy-free cookies. ‘

After this message, Ethan started to follow him on Instagram. And at one point, the drama channels suddenly started making videos about them. At some point, people started talking about Valentine and Grayson. People thought they were dating. But there was nothing between them, just close friends. Valentine wanted to stay friends. It wasn't any more. But Grayson felt a little different. He wanted to take their friendships to the next level, and he told her about it, but Valentine wasn't ready at all, maybe she was ready, but she didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to include a man in her life.

' We have to go, Valentine falls in the sleep. Poor girl.' Marry said quietly when she looked at her friend she took the pillow that was on the couch and hugged it and turned around. ‘ Valentine, baby. Wake up. ' Marry said, and touched her slowly.

‘ Almost 3 am. Marry. You can stay here. No problem.' Ethan said and looked at his twin brother with smiling. ‘ Come on Gray, take Valentine to your room to sleep there. Marry, you can have my room. No problem we can sleep on the sofa. '

‘ Of course not, she wakes up soon.' Marry touched her friend again. ‘ Val. Come one wake up. '

‘ We don’t bite Marry. ' Grayson said and laughed. Grayson comfortably lifted Valentine from the couch and took him in. He walked slowly, opened the door to his room, put her to bed, and took off her shoes and set them aside. Marry entered the room.

‘ I'll handle it, thank you.' Marry said and looked at him

' I know you don't like me, but I'm not a bad person. I'm trying to help.’ Grayson said. ‘ She is my friend too. And I care about her. Believe me. '

‘ Okay. '

‘ Okay? Good. If you want to change, you can take something from my closet and wear it. ‘ Grayson said he turned off the light when he left the room.

‘ Hey, Gray. ' Marry said quietly.

‘ Yeah? ' Grayson looked at her.

' Don't turn off the light, I'm afraid of the dark.' Marry said and opened the lights.

‘ I am sorry, I didn’t know that. Good night, Marry. Do you want some pancakes in the morning with vegan dairy-free chocolate? '

#dolan twins #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #dolan twins fanfic #grayson dolan fanfic #ethan dolan fanfic #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #michael clifford #luke hemmings fanfic #calum hood fanfic #michael clifford fanfic #ashton irwin fanfic #harry styles #harry styles fanfic

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ladywinchester1967 · 6 years ago

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Cheer up Sweetheart

Characters: Dean x Female Character

Warnings: OVERLOAD OF FLUFF

A/N: Having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and decided to have Dean cheer me up. This is a quick one and not usually how I post; so be extra gentle with me please. Unbeta’d, barely edited. All mistakes are mine but pics are not.

**************

“DEAN?!” I yelled as I walked into the house and kicked off my sandals.

“In the kitchen sweetheart!” I hear him yell back.

I dropped my purse and Work bag in the foyer and walked into the kitchen. He was standing there opening a bottle of wine for me. We’d been together nearly ten years and I could believe I had such a handsome man all to myself.

“Still upset about this morning?” He asked and I nodded as I walked closer.

My parents, sister, her husband and their kids, were at the beach for the week. I’d gotten a notification on Facebook that they were all at Disney World and it felt like I’d been stabbed in the heart. They knew how much I loved Disney and how badly I’d wanted to go, but they hadn’t even invited me or Dean to go to the beach with them. So here I was, busting my ass at work, while they were all having fun at the Magic Kingdom.

“Yeah,” I said with a nod as I sat down at the breakfast bar “yeah I really am.”

He poured me a glass of wine and slid it to me, which I greatfully accepted.

“Thank you.” I told him and took a sip.

“I know it’s no trip to Disney, but I got you something that might cheer you up.” He said with a sweet smile on his face.

“What’s that?” I asked as I set the glass down. He went into the freezer and handed me a blue Dairy Queen cup. “Did you get me a Blizzard?!” I asked

“Chocolate chip cookie dough with a little hot fudge, just the way you like it.” He said

With tears in my eyes, I stood up, walked around the counter and wrapped my arms around his waist as the tears hit his t-shirt. He wrapped me into his huge arms and kissed the crown of my head.

“Thank you.” I told him and looked up at him “You didn’t have to do that, but I really appreciate that you did.”

“They didn’t even tell you that’s where they were going and I know you’re upset,” he said as he pushed my hair out of my face “but I wanted to try and put a smile on your face.”

“You did.” I told him and kissed him.

He was right; it wasn’t a Disney World trip, but right now in my kitchen felt like the happiest place on earth.

***********

The Squad:

@waywardbaby @waywardnerd67 @familybusinesswritingbro @ain-t-bovvered @mrswhozeewhatsis @girlborninstorms @dacleverfox @emoryhemsworth @bobasheebaby @salvachester @myinconnelly1 @mogaruke @imma-winchester-addict @theworldiscolorful @dean-winchesters-bacon @animerose96 @l8nit-l0vr @drakelover78 @curly-haired-disaster @roonyxx @snffbeebee @ezilyamuzed @mirandaaustin93 @srsllydunnodoncare @latetothewinchesterparty @emilyshurley @atc74

#dean winchester #lady winchester writes #supernatural #unicorns glitter and rainbows for everyone #dean winchester imagine

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son-of-a-duck · 7 years ago

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July 21, 2017

This morning was so long ago. I made it to work on time, despite once again ignoring my alarm clock. I was awake enough to hear the radio DJ after reading the weather say “If anyone asks you to do something outside today, fight them.” It was pretty funny. And accurate, because it was around 108 degrees today and it probably felt much hotter.

My morning was spent working on a personalized reading list, which I managed to start and finish, and working on the idea for a physical Thank You card. My boss showed me where the library Thank You cards are but it turns out they were all for Thanksgiving. Not quite what I was going for, so I decided to make my own. I had the idea of using a picture of an old bookplate for the cover but that proved to be a bit tricky. I had a picture of one but it was kind of blurry so I went out to the stacks to try and find one. I looked through a bunch of old books and was eventually able to find one but it had tape over part of it so it didn't look very presentable. I finally emailed the head of technical services and asked if she knew of a better way to find one. Later in the morning she came down with a notebook that was basically a history of their department, and inside there was a copy of the bookplate. Jackpot.

I was able to scan the picture and this afternoon I edited it and got it printed on cardstock. I just had the thought that I needed to put something on the back, like the library logo and the date, so I'm going to do that on Monday and print it again. The whole point of the card is to send a physical Thank You note to the historical society. I already sent an email and got a response, but I want to get into the habit of physical Thank You notes.

I worked at the desk in the children's room for about a half an hour this morning but it was pretty uneventful. There was a program happening so most of the people were in the storytime room. I only got one question and it was about a free book program that I didn't know anything about so I passed it off to the children's staff person that actually knows what's going on down there. I spent my time working on the personalized reading list, so I was at least productive.

When I got back from lunch one of the other librarians and I went on a shopping trip to find stuff for our cubicle. The goal was to find Post-It notes and a big dry erase calendar. And a card for our coworker whose last day is Monday. We found the Post-It notes and dry erase markers, but they didn't have the calendar we were looking for so we're going to order it online. We also managed to find a card but we weren't totally sold on it so we also went to the grocery store to look there. Nothing there really jumped out at us so we went with the card we got at the office supply store.

A decent chunk of our shopping trip consisted of me on my phone trying to sort out my computer delivery. The original delivery window was between 10:45AM and 12:45PM but that came and went and the window was extended to 2:45PM. It also still showed my home address instead of my sister's. Just in case, I asked my Mom if she could go over to my house and wait. This was a good idea in theory but I forgot that my screen door was locked so she couldn't actually get into my house. She waited until five minutes outside the window before driving around to see if she could see the truck and then she ran over to my sister's house real quick. When she got back to my house she said it was less than three minutes until UPS finally showed up. It wasn't the most secure of deliveries. She asked him to put the box in her car, which he did, and he volunteered my sister's name when my Mom asked if she needed to sign something. I told my Mom that I had put my sister's name down so my Mom wouldn't be caught off guard. But she could just have easily been a complete stranger that just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Thankfully that wasn't the case.

After work I went to my Mom's house to pick up my computer. It was in the back of her car and when I went to pick it but I forgot that I wasn't tall enough to stand upright under her raised tailgate door. I slammed my head into the door, which knocked my head down and sent the edge of the box right into my Adam's apple. My throat has been sore the rest of the night and it hurts to swallow and yawn. It's pretty annoying.

I managed to get the box into the backseat of my car but only just barely. It ended up being a slightly narrower box than the last time I got a desktop, so that was nice. When I got home I unboxed it but decided to eat dinner before messing with it. So I ate dinner. And then got to messing.

I set it up in my office because I wanted to get everything up and running to make sure everything was good to go before taking it downstairs. Then ended up being a good thing because it was immediately broken. Sort of. When I hit the power button the computer would blink on, then immediately turn off, wait a few seconds, and then start the process over. I tried some troubleshooting and managed to narrow it down to the RAM. The two sticks had been installed in the wrong slots. Once I fixed that, it was smooth sailing. I have only started to download stuff onto it, but I'm hoping I'll be able to start playing some games tomorrow.

After getting everything up and running I celebrated with a frozen hot chocolate and fries from Dairy Queen. They were delicious. I think I'm good for awhile on the frozen chocolate but the next time I get a craving for fries I'll probably go with Dairy Queen.

It is now after one o'clock in the morning because I have been very distracted while writing this. I need to record my audio journal (fingers crossed my throat can handle that) and then go to bed.

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