#thanks jonny sims

[mothsgotghosts]

Every time I remember the mechanisms exist I must urge everyone to go listen to them PLEASEEEE their stuff is so good guys trust. They're a band of immortal space pirates telling tragic stories they witnessed and also they're pretty gay. One of them is in a lesbian relationship with their sentient star ship guys PLEASE they're so good and funny

[indecisitivity]

jon sims is ace bc jonny sims does not understand the 'fuckable monster' trope but didn't want that to happen to jon so he just decided to circumvent it entirely by making jon ace send tweet

[youvegot-timetogrow]

Starts listening to the Thirteen Storeys audiobook by Jonathan Sims

Gets to chapter 9

Hmmmm I know that voice. Wait a second. Is that.

That is THEO SOLOMON I HAVE THE BLADE OF FRONTIERS READING SWEET ATMOSPHERIC HORROR TO ME

[worriesndoodles]

i miss the magnus archives SO so much (i am like 5 or 6 ep away from finishing the og season 5) but i havent been able to go back to it for a while now because some of the episodes still genuinely haunt me at night and i dont think i can add more fear and anxiety on top of that. be cursed MAG 86 and MAG 164 and honestly? MAG 2 too

[noxcorvorum]

Ulysses Dies at dawn, or atleast that's the word on the street. Those who saw it go down in the cabin in the middle of woods, they made their statement and faced their fear.

First, to understand how this all goes down, you gotta know a little bit about the cabin we're talking of. See, in this cabin there was an avatar, of the Unknown Face, perhaps, or the Laughing Lie, given the twisting paths and clamoring voices and the many sprawling forms of the being inside, or even of Terminus, given the fate of our doomed Ulysses. (Maybe there were two avatars, after all that went down. Maybe Ulysses themselves was a magnet for the inevitable end.)

Our erstwhile party of adventurers, Smitten, Cheated, Stubborn, Cold, and dragging Doomed behind them, enters the forest, walks the path, opens the door to the house. Stubborn takes the knife, or maybe Cheated does, or perhaps it is left to rust on the table. They all have their agendas for what lies inside the little building, all with their own ideas of what they can rip from its walls.

Cold picks the lock to the basement, finding a great puzzle, a font of knowledge, a map to the way to a treasure. Black tape seethes in the corners of the room. His focus is too great, his eyesight too weak to see the figure, chained, moving up behind him, striking his skull with a massive iron manacle, and the shadows click decisively.

Stubborn opens the door, and the leonine figure curled around the wooden chest snarls.

Black tape writhes.

Stubborn leaps forward, waving the knife he took, that he didn't take, grasping the great beast round the neck, sliding the knife between its ribs. It slumps to the floor, but so does he, clawed to ribbons by the beast. Cheated steps forward, around the blood, and opens the chest to find it empty, and a single satisfied click follows her from the room.

Smitten hears an echo in the walls, sweet and pleading, almost like the woman he loved. He claws at the stones, at the mortar, trying to find her, to save her, to lead her from the dark and into the light. The stones he drops behind him click on the cobble, black veins eager in the cracks. He reaches dirt, mud, red and sticky with the blood from his raw fingers, and the voice only grows stronger. He digs, calling, weeping for his true love, and by the time he looks up and back towards the cabin, the earth is treacherous, a yawning maw. The voice is laughing now, a heaving, wheezing, coughing laugh full of dirt that he wonders how he could have ever mistaken for the woman he loved, and as he reaches for the light, the jaws close upon him, the maw snaps shut, and his voice dies in his throat with the last of the stones falling to the ground, with the clicking of pebbles and tape.

Cheated drags Doomed further on, shoving open a door at random. She finds a curious hallway, and peers further in, discovering it looks curiously like the tunnels of the mangled city they came from. Always one for gathering information, she steps inside, taking doomed with her. She sees a massive, vaulted room, something that she knows should be impossible underground, and perhaps if Cold was still alive he could have told her how it worked, and she stays astonished, beginning to search the room for anything valuable. Doomed starts to sneak back towards the door, and starts running when they hear Cheated's scream behind them.

Cheated is frozen in fear as a great shape unfolds from the shadows. Red eyes blink open, and horns sprout from the massive head rising five, ten, fifteen feet off the ground. This is its home, and she has just woken it from its nap. The creature bellows, and Doomed runs, and Cheated tries to. The massive hand comes down from above, and her ribs drive into her heart as it squeezes her chest.

The dark tape clicks appreciatively.

And what of our Doomed Ulysses? They are running from the beast, of course. This is not how they will die. They do not hear thundering footsteps coming down the labyrinth at them, but they slam and bar the door all the same.

They continue walking, letting their heart guide them home. It has been so long, you see. So long since they have seen their wife, in this home of rock, taken over by trickery and falsities and paths.

The stone is where it has always been, in the end. Though, when they push it, the door that opens worsens the tentative deal the rock has had with itself ever since Smitten started digging. It falls, and they are struck, staggering into the room, the stone sealing itself behind them. The bones of their wife, their dear Penelope, lay at the far end of the room, her wrist locked to the wall by the heavy chain, flesh rotting off her skeleton. Ulysses smiles, tired, and places their own wrist inside the manacle, lying beside their wife, closing their eyes, content in the knowledge that the dawn brings their peace, and that their corpses will never be disturbed again.

[days-since-needles-tmagp]

they're not coming back, do something useful instead of this

im not even mad this is so funny. WHAT would you have me do. im taking under a minute out of my day to come here and make a silly little post about missing a character i like. maybe you could have gone and done something useful instead but here you are!! getting mad at someone for making silly little posts about the character. we're both at the devil's sacrament right now what are you going to do about it.

[blacktabbygames]

Slay the Princess just crossed 70,000 wishlists on Steam, putting us in the top 300 upcoming titles (out of over 10,000.) Thanks to y'all, our lil' two person studio is throwing hands w/ AAA titles — can't express enough how grateful we are for your support! Let's get 100,000 wishlists next :D

If you haven't wishlisted yet you can help us his that next milestone by goin to our steam page!

[crowreys-wormstache]

Hey, don't cry... The Magnus Protocol fully funded in one (1) minute, okay?

[soupthatwasreheated]

I don’t really care about the magnus archives anymore but I miss melanie king so much

[deaderthandoubledead]

Is this a good time to tell you all that I knew about the Elias and Jonah thing (without reading any spoilers, genuinely) since the beginning of season 3 because I saw it in a dream?

[therealgchu]

da fuck is da fuck drugs was britain collectively taking in the 90s?

fuck you, alex and jonny, for introducing this yank to mr. blobby. i will never forgive you.

[go-to-the-mirror]

“You need to give your father the chance to apologise and work on your relationship ” my mother in christ what do you think i’ve been doing for sixteen years

[murderandcoffee]

Jonathan Sims the type of motherfucker to keen when someone plays with his hair

PART OF ME DIDN'T WANT TO ANSWER THIS ASK BECAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY, I WANT TO KEEP IT IN MY INBOX FOREVER

YOU'RE RIGHT THOUGH I FULLY ACCEPT THAT STATEMENT

[johnsspacesuittight]

god the Magnus protocol is already so fucked up I don’t even like horror why am I still here

[kristsune]

There was a delightful amount of shenanigans during the gaming portions of the last tma2 kickstarter stream, as per usual. Martyn added more than his fair share of the chaos that resulted in said shenanigans. Screenshots taken from each session.

[oddlittlestories]

I’ve been thinking about how i have a love-hate relationship with media that I KNOW is gonna be tragic, is gonna hurt, like the Sandman or Magnus Archives.

I’m generally a hopepunk person. I got your Leverage, your Warehouse 13, your Good Omens, LOTR. Hell even House could be seen as hopepunk. And it’s not just a horror/dark fantasy thing you know? Like I love Old Gods of Appalachia but that feels fundamentally hopepunk to me. Always another generation, always a mark left on the world. And always catharsis.

But then you have these funky lil tragedies. And you know, there’s the shock value for the sake of it. And there’s “it was the most realistic ending.” Honestly I don’t know if Jonny or Neil Gaiman feel that way about their works. But I feel like both of them have something deeper going on. Something about that layer of loss, that seam between what was and what could have been. About “at the end of violence is not a party,” “sometimes things just fall apart in the end, full stop.” Something about “they still existed. they still mattered.”

Like yeah I value stories that say—there is a future, even if it’s not yours to hold. And sometimes it feels so violently unfair to have that happy ending dangling right at my fingertips, just out of grasp. And there are definitely stories out there that use tragedies just for shock value or cheap emotional kicks.

But idk. I think there’s something to these tragedies, far beyond that.