#thanks for your help C:

[hanzajesthanza]

geralt "i will NEVER deadname my best friend" of rivia

"he will ALWAYS be dandelion to ME"

[boatboysrowout]

i am So Very Interested in the burger king vs mcdonalds au if you're willing to share more 👁️👁️

i'm so glad you asked

it's all grian's fault, of course. 'it'll be great if all my friends got a summer job around the same place!' he said. 'it'll be fun hanging out on our lunch breaks!' he said. 'this is a genius idea, nothing will go wrong!' he said.

it goes wrong in less than a day.

it all starts with scar's job application getting rejected from burger king. he takes this very personally, as the man who interviews him is grian's friend who had just been hired the day before, and scar had been assured he would get an easy in. ren, however, didn't like how many questions scar was asking about their ice cream machine and where their security cameras were placed.

so out scar goes, sulking his way through a successful interview to work at the white castle down the road, joining bdubs and cleo. the rest of grians friends end up scattered in shops around the two restaurants with varying degrees of satisfaction with their summer jobs.

grian, as he is wont to do, waffles around a bit before committing to a job. he's pretty sure he's going to join bigb at the library, but before he decides, he goes to pay scar a visit to make sure he's still not sulking about the burger king fiasco.

that, too, is a mistake.

grian doesn't know what happened. he swears he just meant to stop in and say hi. and maybe play a little prank! just a funny little joke! only he didn't realize how much hair spray bdubs uses and how flammable that made his hair, and really, how could grian have known that the second after he fled the scene of his crime, scar would walk in at the exact wrong moment holding a lighter, making him look like the guiltiest motherfucker on earth?

it's absolutely not his fault.

but.

now scar is out of a job again, and he's gotten it in his head that the only way to get his revenge on ren is to work at the mcdonalds across the street from the burger king and, to quote scar, "make him regret not taking my offer." and listen. this is the third job scar's had in two days. it kind of feels a little bit like grian's responsibility to make sure he doesn't get fired from this one too. but it'll be fine. what else could go wrong?

so much. so, so much.

scar almost immediately goes off the rails. he creates his own customer rewards program in which he refuses to serve a customer if they don't pledge their undying loyalty to the mcdonalds in exchange for scar certified McReputation points. this somehow is remarkably successful despite grain's repeated warnings that this is a scam- scar pulls some strings and grian is forced into kitchen duty after he tries to warn one too many customers. martyn and ren catch word of this and try institute a similar program, albeit to a much less successful degree. scar, however, cannot let that stand.

grian also cannot let that stand, but this is more due to martyn coming over every day during his lunch break and annoying grian by telling increasingly convoluted jokes all ending with a punchline relating to the mcdonald's broken ice cream machine.

so that afternoon grian and scar pay the burger king a visit. scar goes up to the front counter and gives ren and martyn the longest sales pitch of his life, something about cereal, and while they're distracted grain climbs through the drive through window and smashes their ice cream machine with a baseball bat.

that's the beginning of the end.

ren takes the attack way too personally. he gets naked, makes martyn crown him with a shitty cardboard crown, dubs himself the burger king, and declares war on the mcdonalds.

he and martyn set out to recruit for their army amongst the rest of their friends in the area to varying degrees of success. they first go to visit joel in his art shop, but quickly decide to leave after the first thing they hear upon walking in is a conversation in the back room in which someone appears to be blackmailing joel over something in the basement.

they decide to try impulse and tango down at the arcade, and both of them are so confused by ren's sales pitch they just agree to make him go away (they do the same thing when scar and grian visit them a few hours later).

ren and martyn's visit to the white castle is the worst yet. instead of walking in and recruiting bdubs and cleo with their impassioned speech and thirst for justice, the burger king and his hand walk into an active warzone.

there's smoke everywhere. bdubs is screaming. martyn swears he hears a gun go off. cleo is cackling. someone runs past them entirely engulfed in flames. as ren and martyn make a hasty retreat etho cheerfully greets them from his seat on a bench outside the building, tinkering with something that looks suspiciously like a pipe bomb.

they decide to take a break from recruiting after that.

meanwhile, scar and grian have been busy. they've recruited jimmy and scott from the florists down the road to launch a yelp smear campaign against the burger king, tanking them from a respectable 3.8 stars to 1 star in an afternoon. to a normal human being, this would mean nothing, but they text a screenshot of this to martyn and ren with the caption 'this u?'

martyn and ren have never once reacted to anything normally or proportionality in their life.

skizz, one of their regulars, also takes great offense to this. he insists that this is a devastating blow against the burger king's honor, and vows to get revenge.

no one's sure exactly how he does it, but within an hour he manages to trace one of the bad reviews back to jimmy and promptly doxes him, getting him fired due to the content of his surprisingly popular google+ account.

scar and grian, after laughing hysterically for an hour over the fact that jimmy was a google+ influencer, continue their reign of terror over the burger king by taking a selfie of them next to the burger king drive through menu, which they somehow have relocated to the roof of the mcdonalds.

it's the last straw for ren.

decked out in a red cape made of the burger king curtains and armed with a spatula and the fury of a thousands suns, ren marches across the street to the mcdonalds and challenges scar and grian to a winner-takes-all duel.

a crowd begins to gather, with nearly everybody grian knows save for the people involved in what has been dubbed the white castle war, forming a loose arch behind ren and martyn as they begin to chant for a fight.

grian and scar, who came outside to see what all the commotion was about, both predictably panic at the sight of two men in capes charging towards them backed by a crowd chanting for blood. grian tries to claw his way back up the roof while scar, possessed by the spirit of apollo, does the only thing he can and chucks a potato at ren's head.

that potato hits ren square in the forehead and knocks him out cold.

the crowd goes silent.

martyn, thinking ren is dead, drops to his knees and cradles his unconscious body close to his chest and dramatically confesses his everlasting love, vowing to never leave ren's side and to never stop spreading the tale of ren's 'grey long and strong' bits.

grian, upon witnessing this, realizes to his abject horror that he also has gay feelings for his manager.

he has no idea what to do with these feelings, and the crowd is still chanting fight, and he's experienced a lot of stress and unexpected emotions in the last five minutes, so he really can't be blamed when he turns on his heel and punches scar in the face.

scar, surprised but absolutely willing to go along with it, punches grian back, and they begin beating the shit out of each other in the most pathetic fist fight a mcdonalds parking lot has ever witnessed.

meanwhile, there's police cars and fire trucks with sirens on speeding down the road past them, and someone in the crowd realizes 'oh shit are those all going to the white castle?'

so the crowd immediately abandons the world's worst fight to go see what the hell has been going down in the white castle.

it takes a bit, but, with martyn still confessing his love and sobbing over ren's unconscious body, grian finally manages to land a lucky hit and knocks scar out, sending him crumpling to the ground. for the second time that day, grian realizes with horror what he's done, and frantically tries to run to get a medic only to trip over scar's unconscious body and knock himself out as well.

The headline of the local newspaper the next morning reads as follows:

...anyone wanna ask me about my last life mall au

[belatedbday69]

more otp dialogue prompts <3

as a follow up to this post

1. “Okay, maybe I have a crush on you! So what?” 

2. “It’s not like this with them.”

3. “Tell me to leave and I’ll never bother you again.”

4. “This doesn’t change anything between us.”

5.  “Just take me home.”

6. “I appreciate the effort but this is all wrong.” 

7. “I don’t want anyone else.”

8. “What could you possibly be this stressed about?” 

9. “You haven’t changed at all.” 

10. “I never want to be without you again.”  

11. “You tricked me.”

12. “You can’t tell anyone. Seriously. Even them.”

13. "You want me, don't you?"

14. “If you do that one more time I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.” 

15. “I can’t believe you remembered.” 

16. “You won’t believe me.” “Try me.” 

17. “I don’t want to have this conversation again.”

18. “You shouldn’t be here.” 

19. “I think about you all the time.”

20. “Why do you insist on misunderstanding me?”

21. “Then take me with you.”

22. “I think I missed you more than you missed me.” 

23. “I thought I’d lost you.”

24. “Don’t say that to me. That’s not fair.”

25. “Well, since you asked nicely...Sure."

26. “You used to have feelings for me. Admit it.”

27. “So you don’t regret it at all?” 

28. “I’m not ready to let you go.” 

29. “Don’t lie to me. I was there.” 

30. “Leave me alone.” “Is that really what you want?” 

31. “I’ll be there as soon as possible.” 

32. "I can't hide it anymore. I have to tell you how I feel."

33. “I don’t want them. I want you.”

[pastelaspirations]

So, u h.

H O W. HOW, I ASK. ALL I DO IS POST ART ONCE IN A BLUE MOON AND MAKE REALLY CURSED REBLOGS. LIKE, I'M SO VERY GLAD YOU'RE HERE, BUT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW OR WHY YOU'RE HERE-

I also like. Make really angsty, ungodly long fanfics that I do absolutely nothing to promote on this dumpster fire of a blog, but that's besides the point- ANYWAY. HAVE SOME REALLY SKETCHY DOODLES THAT I DID TO THANK YA MAD LADS ;_;

Thank ya, thank ya, you absolute mad lads. I will uh... continue to do what I do. Thank you for joining the ride, even though it's less of a ride and more that I found an abandoned theme park ride and decided to ride it as a prolonged death wish and you inexplicably strapped yourself in next to me with the moldy seatbelt-

[stormyoceans]

SOMEONE TAKE GLASSES AWAY FROM HIM HE'S BECOMING TOO POWERFUL

[bleue-flora]

Send help, I’m still thinking about this scene from yesterday… it’s just so…

Tommy: I want to snap his neck.

A few seconds later

Tommy: He’s Lucifer.

Uhhh what!?…. Are you sure Dream’s Lucifer, because like dude no offense but you’re the one talking about snapping people’s necks…

-Actual Transcript Below-

Tommy: “You’re not going to believe this—this is the part that breaks my heart and twists my spine and makes me want to snap his neck. Do you know where he fucking went, Tobby?”

Tubbo: “Where?”

Tommy: “Dream lives in the prison.”

Tubbo: “What?!”

Tommy: The prison—that is my nightmare, Tubbo, Dream lives in. And just to prove it, cuz I thought—

Tubbo: “WHAT!?

Tommy: “No—no way is this fucking psychopath living in his own captive. I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know why, but he lives in the fucking prison. And I thought ‘NO, GODDAMN WAY!—Does Any. Living. Functioning. Person—live in their own hell.’ But, Tubbo, that’s the difference—“

Tubbo: That’s—“

Tommy: “Dream lives in his own hell.”

Tubbo: “That’s insane—“

Tommy: “You wanna know why?”

Tubbo: “He’s gotta not be—he’s gotta not be all there, man.”

Tommy: “He lives in his own Hell because he’s FUCKING Lucifer!”

Tubbo: “Really? Mr. Morningstar himself?”

Key word being “functioning”…

[throughpatchesofviolet]

Just got a massive merch haul from my bestie (@regretmeursault) in the mail, and I'm so overwhelmed with happiness ...

First off, got a ton of stickers for my collection, which I refuse to use (/lh). I do have the Ishmael and Heathcliff designs of two of these stickers as charms, but I'm so happy to have most of the stickers (Hellbat took Meursault, of course /lh).

Also so many prints and can badges ... it's hard to see in this image, but the -45 button from @/chikos-workshop is perfection in a badge. Also that Heathcliff photocard in the top left--the one next to the Don Quixote--has had my heart since I first saw it as fanart ... he is so handsome ...

Also these pixel stands ... Ishy is so tiny. Microscopic.

And, last but certainly not least, after 8 months of searching, I finally have ...

... the Telepole Heathcliff bromide from the kuji event last year. I was convinced I'd never get my hands on him, but Hellbat found a listing with him!!

[meatexe]

anyone who names anything needs to be either full of themselves or delusional, don't worry about what you name yourself beyond loving it, if you wanna be hymn, let others sing your song if you feel that you can't bear to. but don't let something like "self-righteousness" get in your way!!!!! also, you can always change again whenever hope this comes off as encouraging, you deserve to be happy

whoa this is so sweet n insightful………. my heart…….

[deus-ex-mona]

s a v e m e m e o t o

[mel-loly]

-A person who likes pink <3

@tsutsujinothere

[femmetay]

.

[lesenbyan]

i wish tumblr users a very vet blogs before you donate to them

[simcardiac-arrested]

Needed a warm up, remembered how I saw this little guy for the first time and literally screamed

She is so ever to me, I think she should cause so many problems on purpose

i just opened tumblr and saw this and i am being so serious when i say this made my organs turn to mush and make me pace around the house for a good 3 minutes just to start having coherent thoughts

[cloudcountry]

rmphmrpmhpe i think it's sleepy time for me <33 night night guys i love you! sleep well (ESPECIALLY YOU RYO SLEEP DAMNIT)

[teleomancer]

.

[mutalune]

hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery