#thanks for the trauma flashbacks

[anths-girl]

I hated it with an absolute passion, for...SOOO many reasons... Just...ACK.

For research (and due to my own grievances):

Reblog for bigger sample size (or don't, but I will be yelling at you from the sidelines)

[mlady-magnolia]

Welt really was about to black hole Aventurine’s ass and I think that’s so real of him

[graveyarrdshift]

this sunday is really sundaying

[galaxywhump]

wasn't sure since it didn't seem like you'd written anything in a bit and i didn't want to just put you on the spot! so we've seen wren experience panic/triggering from pre daniel trauma and daniel's reactions to that. i'd be interested to see daniel's reaction to wren getting triggered/having a panic attack/flashbacks from something daniel has done to him (whipping, breaking his fingers, stabbing through his hands)

Took me a while (what else is new), but here you go!

[SV-240 masterlist]

contents: forced relationship whump, slavery whump, creepy/intimate whumper, trauma, flashbacks, panic attack, creepy comfort, referenced: broken fingers, whipping, cutting.

~~~

Wren has gone through so much pain since he was captured; torture has become just a fact in his life, something Daniel loves too much to let it go. 

The regular torture methods he has gotten used to. They hurt regardless, but he's used to the sight of the whip or Daniel's favorite knife, and the way they bite into his flesh.

But then there are the others, the ones that have only happened once, in circumstances he'd rather not relive. The more time passes, the fuzzier the memories become - but the memory of the pain becomes exaggerated, and when he catches himself thinking back to it against his will, all he remembers is agony.

But all of that is behind him, hopefully. He's learned to block it from his memory - until now.

"Give me a break."

It's just a movie. They're sitting on the couch, Daniel's arm wrapped around Wren, holding him close, and they're watching a movie together. It means over an hour of relative silence between the two of them, since Wren's not in the mood for commenting on what's happening on the screen. He was relieved to hear that this was the plan for the day, that Daniel wanted to relax too.

Then he hears the words. They're just words, just that one common word that he's heard again and again here, but this is different, and it takes him back, like he's been punched in the face and sent flying backwards into the past, but then ended up here again, on the couch, in Daniel's casual embrace.

"You're breaking my heart."

His hands are trembling, fingers stiff; he's scared to move them, expecting agony accompanying a nauseating crack. He can hear it so clearly, one after another, and he can hear something else, laughter, so much laughter, Daniel's and Berkeley's, laughing at him as he sobbed into the couch, unable to resist while his fingers were getting broken one by one.

He jolts in place when someone grabs his hand, he can already feel the pain even though nothing has happened yet, tears gather in his eyes and trickle down his face, and he can barely breathe.

"No!" he cries out, wrenching his hand free and backing away, scrambling to the end of the couch, his breathing quick and shallow. Breaking echoes in his head, the word said in Berkeley's voice and the sickening sound reverberating from his fingers, which hurt so much.

"Hey."

Daniel's voice. It's different, there's genuine worry where there used to be sadistic satisfaction, and yet it's nowhere near soothing, it never is. He shakes his head, curling up, holding his hands close to his chest.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Daniel frowns, moving closer and reaching towards Wren, not stopping when he flinches away. 

"N-no," Wren chokes out when Daniel grabs his arm, but he can't free himself, it wouldn't change anything, he was only punished even more harshly for trying to run. "Stay away, d-don't-"

"I'm not doing anything. Did the movie remind you of something? Whatever it was, it's okay now. You're here, and you're safe with me."

"You did that to me!" Wren curls up more to protect his hands, terror only increased by hopelessness, because if Daniel really wants to repeat that torture, there's nothing that can change his mind.

"Did what?" Daniel tightens his grip on Wren's arm, looking him up and down, and realization finally seems to dawn on him when he notices the way Wren's hiding his hands from him. "Oh. You mean breaking your fingers?"

Wren shivers and doesn't respond, but Daniel doesn't seem to need his confirmation.

"Oh, sweetheart…" Wren can't back off any further and has no choice but to let Daniel pull him closer and wrap one arm around him again; Daniel doesn't let go when he feels Wren tense up, his breathing still strained. "That was ages ago, and I promise it was a one-time thing. I'll never do that to you again."

Wren exhales, doing his best to calm down, but Daniel being so close is anything but calming, and then he whimpers and tries to pull back when Daniel gently takes his hands.

"No…"

"Shh. It's okay. I won't hurt you like that again." Daniel squeezes his hands and smiles.

"You're still hurting me," Wren whispers, his voice shaky.

"I know, but there are things I won't do, again or at all. That is one of them."

And yet Wren's breath catches in his throat when Daniel takes hold of his fingers and curls them slightly.

"Relax, sweetheart. I won't do anything."

"Then let go."

"Just trust me." Daniel leans his head against Wren's. "We'll finish the movie some other time, okay? Or we can watch something else. For now just try to calm down."

It's hard when Daniel continues playing with Wren's fingers, squeezing his hands from time to time, knowing well that it’s counterproductive to his goal of making Wren calm down, but choosing to do it anyway. Not hurting him, just reminding him that he can, at any moment, whenever he pleases, while Wren can do nothing but follow his suggestion and do his best not to reminisce about that nightmare any longer.

~~~

taglist: @faewhump @inky-whump @whole-and-apart-and-between @whatwasmyprevioususername @procrastinatingsab @funky-little-glitter-bomb @goneuntil @redstainedsocks @luminouswhump @lonesome--hunter @as-a-matter-of-whump @renkocchi @whump-only @muddy-swamp-bitch @girlwithacoolcat @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @sophierose002 @whump-headspace @to-whump-or-not-to-whump @kixngiggles @ohwhumpydays @whumpvp @wibbly-wobbly-whump @stab-the-son-of-a @his-unspoken-words @pumpkin-spice-whump @onlyhappywhenitpains @suspicious-whumping-egg @morning-star-whump @burtlederp

[crowleys-hips]

i'm gonna be real for a sec. i love good omens but it's probably making my cptsd worse lmao

[depressedzelda]

its actually wild how ive never been arrested before. The shit i was doing like every night in public i just didnt gaf

[flowercrowngods]

I'm taking your post as permission to poke and prod and say, 'you can do it!'

Don't let this chapter kick your butt, you got this!!

it's kicking my butt :( it really, really is

[shire-ivy]

There is a special place in hell for people who says 'tw' but doesn't say what and 'credit to the artists but doesn't say who

[bosjess]

I saw my psych and had to tell her about my assault and I feel really really bad

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

guys i freaking did it fraeking did self therapy so i could edit this ritsu into the image, ensemble stars CAN be good for your mental health see! This was just so freaking ritsu-core I had to sit down and hardcore speedrun through trying to process some trauma so id stop getting flashbacks during this, its uh, not 100% BUT my flashbacks decreased in severity and frequency enough i could finish the piece without making myself miserable explanation for what i did below

Id do a below the cut thing but i cant figure out how that works so sorry for the long post but i figured i should share it since it provided me relief so freaking fast-? (again im not cured but ...it helped.)

(I sat down, processed my trauma by going over what i learned from my traumatic experience and not shying away from the things i wanted to avoid because well they were making me have flashbacks, carefully going over what i learned from it in detail that allowed me to regain some control over how the situation affected me and how i handle situations going forward and how it changed my view of the world, and then i went over in detail how i would handle it if a similar situation came up and what little i can actually do to prevent it, while also assuring myself that its okay that theres a certain degree of uncertainty but that its a very rare and unlikely thing for that to ever happen let alone multiple times in my life and ill probably never encounter it again, and since i took my brains concerns seriously, it seemed to be more willing to actually let me believe that this time. I feel ...so much better and like a weights been lifted. I cant believe i just freaking did all this becasue i needed to make a meme so bad but honestly im so proud of myself, worth it. definitely reccomend it, I really wish someone had told me sooner that telling yourself what you learned from a situation and making it part of an uplifting narrative and that kind of thing is in fact, what it means to process trauma and that theres actually a definition for that and its not just wait around and hope your brain unfricks itself. i have a lot of work left to do on myself but i feel so much better... thanks to original poster for making a meme so good i had to make my own ver-)

Saw this post and immediately knew I had to make it Ford

(Og post under cut)

[infizero]

guys im being so serious this actually made me so upset i had to get up and take a walk around my house for several minutes before making this post.

[pksp-yellow]

I'm so thankful that I don't live in any of my childhood homes anymore considering my trauma connected to them. There's a specific house and street that I actually live really close to but I refuse to go by it because of the horrific things that happened to me there. Most of it I've healed from and put behind me but a specific part of it that I don't think I'll ever fully heal from and put behind me.

[jorjin]

Mastodon has a serious p*do problem in their platform

[honeyyglaze]

Dude

[lizardson]

I understand people who hate lirin (he is a very frustrating character) but I also think they tend to ignore that he spent years believing he killed both his sons because he refused to give in to roshone. The way he treats kaladin is awful, but it comes from a place of intense shame and regret, not a place of judgement. When he tells kal that he should've obeyed and proven himself to his masters instead of fighting against them, he says it because that's what he wished he had done. Lirin in RoW is not the same person from the WoK flashbacks and his extreme and irrational moral rigidity is the result of trauma and grief, not just "he's a surgeon so he thinks killing is bad."

TLDR lirin is more complex than people give him credit for and also your son miraculously returning from the dead doesn't negate believing for years that you killed him by having the audacity to fight against your oppressors. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[bakugoushotwife]

in my opinion, gojo’s storyline has been handled so so poorly i can’t help but think it’s intentional. it is not bad writing to kill a character—even a beloved character. i know most people will dismiss my criticisms because gojo is so beloved to me and so many others. i’ve said before that i don’t mind if he died. does it hurt? of course, and i would still cry and be sad about it. but there is a beautiful way to do it. with respect and honor for his legacy—for what he has done for your manga, the characters in it, and audiences worldwide. but no…gege chose the path of horror and disrespect. at certain points i’d say to myself, well. this is a dark manga. but essentially gojo is the only character that receives this treatment. since the beginning—since suguru left him, he’s been wondering if he mattered because he was a person, or if he only mattered because he was powerful and useable. we certainly fucking answered that question. he is a weapon and nobody ever cared about him at all!!!

and we knew he was being used—he knew he was being used, but he is selfless. so he did it for his kids. for megumi and yuuji and yuuta—he wanted them to be safe. in these flashbacks it’s exceedingly clear that he knew he would die. again—that’s not my issue. gojo dying to sukuna makes plenty of sense and it would hurt to leave it there. but to give us an afterlife scene where he’s presented a choice—north and south—that concept lead nowhere, that’s truly fucked up. to leave all the subtle clues and hints for no reason but to keep people reading and theorizing his return is fucked up. to continue to use his imagery to promote your manga when you know he’s not even honored in your manga is fucked up. we don’t get a funeral or a grave for him. no one’s spoken about him in chapters despite him fighting for hours against sukuna and damaging him so much that yuuji could win, nothing. yuuta wearing him like a costume and no one is horrified about it. i thought his students WERE different. they weren’t jujutsu society yet. that’s why gojo was their teacher—shaping them into better human beings. how am i supposed to trust in their future when it seems they’re just as cold and heartless as everyone before them? no one has honored gojo in any way since the moment he died. and they’ve forgotten about him. he spent his entire life fighting and no one can even say thank you. gege intentionally used gojo to promote the end of his manga because he knows that gojo fans make up at least half of his fanbase so had we stopped reading when he died, he would have lost a lot of traction. he baited us intentionally, cruelly, and something that transcends storytelling. i’ve truly never seen a mangaka have this sort of vitriol for one of their characters and the people that love him.

we spent the entire last chapter talking about some random fucking mission when we have several unanswered questions and concerns. i thought gege said he wanted this ending to be shocking and something you didn’t see in shonen? tying everything up neatly where no one has any trauma or grief for what they’ve experienced, everyone comes back to life except the one character you hate specifically and choso, defying your own power structures and having everyone laughing into the sunset is exactly how shonen ends so what in the fuck is he talking about??

let me disclaim, this is not megumi hate at all. i love him very much and i am so happy he’s back with the group but like. he shouldn’t be able to even walk. he tanked unlimited void for over 6 minutes whenever that length caused irreversible damage to sukuna himself. not to mention the countless black flashes. so what the fuck? he doesn’t mention gojo at all?? the first time he laughs in this manga is after he reads a note written by his dead fucking caretaker about his dead fucking father? like i don’t believe. random open ended kenjaku/suguru mention just to piss me off, an absolutely no mention of gojos sacrifice or how they’ll miss him. i’m sick to my stomach. gege defiled his memory both in the story and outside of it. wow.

P.S. SUKUNA CARED MORE ABOUT GOJO THAN ANYONE ELSE (SUGURU IS NOT INCLUDED IN THIS I MEAN HIS STUDENTS AND SOCIETY)