#thanks for the ask sorry that took forever
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pinklemonslices · 2 days ago
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little tiny fic, a missing scene of sorts? just after niko outsmarts the night nurse near the end of episode 7 🫶
“Oh, did you guys know, zombies are real,” Niko says, and Charles is sure he would be more intrigued by that if she had said it at any other time, after any other event. He’ll have to ask her about that later. For now, he settles for a little sound of astonishment.
His mind is more occupied with what she did just before that, having managed to buy him and Edwin more time on earth — together — via outsmarting a literal transdimensional being.
“Thanks,” he breathes out, shock still bouncing around inside him like a pinball. Niko might really be an angel, he thinks. There should really be a halo floating above her head, to match her inhuman kindness.
Edwin shifts beside him, “Yes, thank you, Niko.” His voice is shaky. Charles looks over, and Edwin meets his gaze. The sight alone could kill Charles a second time, if that were possible. Despite being back in his nice, unbloodied clothing, Edwin looks just as broken as he did on the stairs, with watery eyes and an expression of clear exhaustion.
He makes a face, which Charles realizes is a sorry attempt at a smile, and his heart aches. “And thank you, Charles. For coming to get me.”
Without saying anything, Charles makes a move toward Edwin, pulling him into the tightest hug he can manage. Edwin tenses for only a second, before he wraps his arms around Charles in return.
“Always, mate.”
Charles feels Edwin melt into him, like butter in a saucepan. His head finds a place to rest on Charles’s shoulder, as he releases an unsteady sigh.
And god, Charles means it when he says ‘always.’ He couldn’t live (figuratively speaking, anyway) without Edwin beside him, Edwin sighing in his arms, Edwin rolling his eyes fondly when he cracks a bad joke, Edwin solving cases with that clever brain of his. He wouldn’t be able to stand it. Maybe he would just dematerialize, or something.
He would go to Hell a million times, if he had to. He’d run up and down that staircase a million times and throw however many molotov cocktails it took to get Edwin out safe.
There’s not one thing he wouldn’t do to stay with Edwin.
Charles holds him a little tighter. He’s not sure he’ll ever be ready to let go. Hopefully Edwin won’t mind; it might be a little hard to solve cases this way, but they could make due.
They will have to, because Edwin is solid and real against him, and they are not in Hell anymore, and it’s all Charles ever needs. Since he died, he has not wanted Death or The Night Nurse’s Heaven. He found his thirty-four years ago, and it is greater than anything they could offer.
With mild difficulty, Charles manages to pull back just far enough to make good eye contact. Edwin’s eyes are gray and green and they hold the whole world in them; Earth, Heaven, and Hell displayed in hues fit for an angel, a holier trinity than anything the bible could ever fathom.
Edwin takes a shuddering breath, and Charles wants to cry — wants to go back in time and take Edwin’s place.
“I’m glad you guys are okay,” Crystal says, after what feels like years. Charles tears his attention away from Edwin in his arms, to look at her. He thinks he should probably feel bad for not allowing her to go to Hell with him, but it was no place for her.
No place for Edwin, either.
“Me too.”
Niko nods, “Me three.”
Charles cracks a smile. “Glad we’re in agreement.”
Edwin squeezes Charles’s arm tightly before letting go of him and taking a small, singular step backward, and Charles mourns the loss instantly.
They have time, thanks to Niko, he reminds himself. Literally forever.
He hugs Niko next.
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jesuistrestriste · 4 hours ago
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thinking about your art mommy and breeding kink fics and just imagining him feeling comfortable calling you mommy but not indulging in his other kink . Until one day you’re about to sink down on him in cowgirl and you say ‘there’s a new rule okay? You can’t pull out…under any circumstances.’ And he’s so confused and flustered because you always tell him to pull out or use protection but this time you want him to cum inside you over and over and he’s just moaning ‘mommy mommy gonna cum’ constantly - he’ll do anything for you and he’s so desperate and excited he’s finally getting to breed you
just thoughts yknow
all your fics are amazing by the way 🫶🏻
awwwww:(( yea he’s so precious
like if you sit down on his cock and let it rest inside you for a minute while you coo in his ear; little words of encouragement.. he’s gone. his hands desperately clinging to yours while tears spring to his eyes and he whimpers, feeling himself twitch inside your walls. “mommy…” he whines, wiggling his hips under yours and begging you—without the proper words—to start riding him properly
and when you do, he’s making the prettiest sounds. you get to watch his eyes roll back into his head and his bottom lip quiver as he relishes in the feeling of you squeezing around his throbbing dick. it’s leaking globs of precome inside you with every bounce of your ass over his pelvis, and he’s nearly crying..
“gonna come, mommy, gonna come ‘nside you, mommy, muh-mommy, mommynghh—“
the tension in his stomach coils tight and he starts to move his body to meet yours, forcing his eyes open to look to your face; searching for any sign of approval.
you smile down at him and moan, and he gasps in sharp bursts, “ohhh, mommy! i’m, please, i’m— i’m gonna—! gonna! come, come come come—“
he’s totally incoherent by the time he’s bucking and slamming himself tight up against you, whimpering as he squirts his load warmly into the depths of your core. he bumps your cervix and coats your insides, squeezing your palms against his as he shudders. “mmmnn.. gonna get you pregnant, mommy… please keep it all inside.. you’ll keep my come, won’t you?” he begs, pouting like a guilty puppy :(
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lazyjellyfish300 · 2 days ago
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Hey Jelly! May I request a Drabble for your Fall/Autumn Flufftober event?
It involves Miguel O’Hara and [Reader] [Gender Neutral] experiencing a “haunted house” as part of their date. Miguel would especially be protective of [Reader] throughout the attraction, despite being aware they’re just props and scare actors doing their jobs. While doing so, Miguel is “holding hands” with [Reader] to not lose one another at the house.
SWIFT!! OFC this is such a cute idea 😭😭💕💕 so sorry it took me forever but hey spooky season isn't over til I say so 😁🖤🎃 thank you for requesting 💕
a haunted house with miguel 🏚️🖤🎃
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Warnings: xGN!READER , fluff, crack, joking reference to monsterfucking.
Words 1.5k
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The shivering bite of October nighttime was starting to get to you, but with Miguel close by, it made the seconds more tolerable as you stood outside the haunted attraction.
Michael Myers' theme music blasted in speakers with green and purple flashing lights, the smoke from the bonfire in front and the chalky smell from the fog machines joined together to make a spooky concoction that filled your nostrils while the distant shrieks from other guests made your stomach twist with the anticipation of what ghoulish tricks awaited you inside.  
"Ready for this?" Your boyfriend, Miguel, asks with his charming lopsided smile, one of his arms around you pulling you into his gray hoodie that blessed you with sandalwood every time he brought you closer. 
You smile at him from where your chin is lightly resting against his chest. "I mean I'm ready, I don't know about you though."
"I'm ready." Miguel answers, raising his eyebrow at a thrift store looking Leatherface targeting a group of 14 year olds with his fake chainsaw. "Seems a little intense." 
"For $80, I sure hope so." You hummed, tsking your teeth, all the while you hoped your phony nonchalantness wasn't betraying you. "They better kill us for that price." 
"Don't say that." Miguel nudges you. "Then I won't know if Melissa was really set up by Teresa and Kim D. or if Teresa was innocent." 
"Oh my God, you're more invested in that freaking show than I am." You fake offense and poke playfully at Miguel's stomach of steel while his hands followed yours, defending against your attacks. "Not even concerned that I'd be dead, just mad your ass can't watch the ending of Real Housewives of New Jersey!"
"Haha, yeahhh cause we'd both be dead, genius." Miguel shakes his head, finally spinning you around and nudging you forward as the line drew closer to the entrance. "They don't have streaming services in heaven." 
"Oh I don't think we're going to heaven, sir." You examine your nails. "I mean, I am, I dunno about you though, it's a lil toasty where you're headed.." 
"Oye, watch your step." Miguel chides as you almost trip over your own feet. 
"Greeeeetings, mortals! Party of two?" The worker dressed as the bride of Frankenstein inquires, fake vampire teeth practically falling out of her mouth. 
"Yeah." Miguel clears his throat as he looks at you sideways. 
The worker goes off on her spiel, 'don't touch the actors and they won't touch you, stay on the designated path, take note of the emergency exits should you need to exit the haunt early but beware there is no reentry upon leaving, most of all be safe, have fun, hope you make it out alive or some sort of painful joke at the end', blah blah blah
Your attention is snapped back to Earth when she gives you and Miguel the green light to go ahead, and the invisible magnets in your hands find and seize one another as you clasped each other's hands in the dark as you sauntered cautiously forward. 
"Having fun already?" Miguel teases. "Your hand is sweaty like you've run a marathon and we're not even two minutes in." 
"Man, shut up, I am not-aaaAAHH!" You jump and cling to Miguel at a loud thump on the wall from one of the actors behind you. 
Miguel chuckles. "This is gonna be a long ride." 
-----
"Oh helllllll nah." 
You start to turn around at the sight of the giant clown sitting in a chair at the end of the dark stuffy hallway holding an axe. 
"Baby, this was your idea." Miguel halted you in your tracks, spinning you around to face the front. 
You gulped as you studied the menace, pinstripes with an eerie grin and all. "That thing is gonna jump, just watch." 
"I'm pretty sure it's stuffed." 
"No, babe, that is a living breathing killer clown from outer space." 
"For the love...just get behind me." Miguel inches down the hallway, his broad back obscuring your view.
"Mig, what's happening? I can't see shit." You turn to your right and at that very moment lock eyes with Chucky, letting out an unholy scream which makes you smack into Miguel which causes him to nearly fall on top of the clown.
The teen underneath the clown mask saw all 15 years of his life flash before his eyes at the 6'9 tank about to crush him, realizing his final thoughts would be that the $7.25 an hour for this gig truly wasn't worth it. 
"Jesus!" Miguel gains his bearings, flustered as he turns to you. "You alright?" 
"Yeah, course I am." You lie. 
Miguel takes your clammy hand again. "Alright this time, don't let go of my hand." 
"Right." 
You two make the rest of your way through the haunted circus, the black light illuminating your clothes with the neon paint splatter on the walls, navigating through the eclectic fun house atmosphere with the unsettling music box tunes blaring overhead. 
Miguel remains stoic for the most part. Although you try to thug it out, every now and then a sudden noise or bang or obnoxious cackle behind you will make you jump. Miguel responds by bringing you closer protectively, cracking a joke to make you feel more at ease. 
"This man thinks he's Pennywise but he's really Krusty the clown." He nods in the direction of another menacing clown with sharp teeth that tries to get all up in your face. You burst out laughing and the guy underneath the mask low-key feels his hopes and dreams get crushed in the same sentence. 
The rest of the haunted house isn't so daunting with your protective boyfriend guiding every step. You get scary dog privilege without even trying, as most of the actors are intimidated by Miguel's large size alone, if not his sarcastic quips everytime they get too close. 
"Welllllllcome to my shop of horrors!" A butcher covered in fake blood with a crazy look in his eyes and a leather apron tries to get you to eat his human brain casserole. 
Miguel looks unimpressed. "I burn water but I can make a lasagna more edible than that." 
You cackle as Miguel leads you away, leaving the butcher equal parts baffled and clutching his invisible pearls. 
---
You come to a part of the haunted house that leads back outdoors, with fog all around you and a werewolf that comes running up to you on all fours, snarling and foaming at the mouth. 
You startle for just a moment then smirk as you turn to Miguel, 
"Hear me out..." 
"Absolutely not." Miguel figures he's gonna have you lay off the dark romance novels for a bit as he drags you away. 
-----
Once you get to the final section with the vampires, your fears have all but disappeared, playing along and smiling when Dracula with his cult of vampire wives waltzes up to you and asks to suck your blood. 
"Just warning you, Vladdy, I'm anemic." You flirt as you take his arm. 
"Alright, that's it." Miguel grumbles as he drags you away yet again. At first you were scared of the monsters, now he has to stop you from banging them. 
"But he's hot, and he has fangs!" You protest, giggling as Dracula dramatically bids you farewell, inviting you back to Transylvania anytime while Miguel carries you to the exit. 
"We have fangs at home." Miguel reminds you with a smirk before flashing his prominent canines at you. You have to stifle a giggle as you lay your head on his chest. 
 ----
"Well that was fun." You cuddle next to Miguel a short time later on the couch in your shared apartment, sighing as you lean forward, using your sweater as heat pads to pick up your mug of hot cocoa while he peruses for a Halloween movie to watch. 
"It was fun." Miguel hums. "But we're not doing it again." 
"Why not?!" 
"I'm not paying nearly a hundred dollars for you to practically leave me for Edward and Jacob from Twilight." 
"Oh my God, you actually got their names right!" 
"In other news, the movie's starting, so..."
"Baby, you're not really jealous are you?" You get closer and plop in his lap, Miguel letting out an overdramatic pained grunt. "Oh, stop it, you." 
Miguel doesn't crack at first, remaining tight-lipped while you shower him with little pecks. "You know I could never leave you, Migs." 
Miguel finally reveals a smile, "Oh, I know, I just like hearing you say it." He pulls the blanket over your shoulders as Coraline begins playing.
"Man, all you had to do was ask!" 
"Ssshhhh....Coraline's on." Miguel winks as he silences you once more. 
"Mhmm, love you too." 
You grin and feel any cold from earlier disappear altogether as Miguel's prescence warms you from the inside out as you watch the movie together, hot chocolate in hand, cookies in the oven, candles lit, all the while the chill of outside remains where it belongs in the October night in Nueva York. 
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caterpillarinacave · 1 year ago
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love the moodboard, may you share a snippet of him in the fic pls? I also want to ask you if you think they celebrated his birthdays or given that Kit is dead they didnt, I know some fmailiesthat after losing a child they stopped celebrating many stuff for a while
Yes, of course! So glad you like it, I don’t think people care much for my post TLH stuff haha. I have a couple different fic WIPs at different ages, so let me know if you want more specifics, so I offer you a few; Here is a random character depiction paragraph, then one during an institute Christmas parties, and one from several years earlier when Alexander first met the Fairchild kids.
As for the birthday thing; see the end of the post.
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Across the room, on the bench of a grand piano, was Alexander Lightwood. He was a very lovely young boy, with bright blue eyes and a mop of straight raven black hair. He had his fathers nose, and his mothers laugh, the beginnings of a smile constantly playing around his lips, like he had just heard a joke no one else could.
====
 Peter and Alexander had taken up a space beside the fire, Peter on the rug, flipping through a book of music, and Alexander dozing happily on the couch. 
“Enjoy the party?”
Tessa stood behind the couch, looking at her nephews affectionately.
“I believe so?” Peter said, glancing back and forth between Tessa, and Alexander who was just stirring awake “I found it non-distressing.”
“I suppose that's all one can ask for” Tessa replied, looking amused, putting a gentle hand on Alexander’s shoulder, who was just coming to wakefulness. “What did you think, Lex-”
Her sentence was interrupted by a distant yelp, followed by the resounding crash of Will Herondale falling, likely from the ladder beside the christmas tree. 
 Tessa sighed heavily, looking deeply resigned. 
 “I wonder what he's done this time. ”
“Oh, we hid a glass duck on top of the tree.” Peter replied nonchalantly. “I wager Uncle Will has found it.”
 “Well, don’t tell her that!” Zachary, who had appeared with a handful of chocolate covered nuts, and a plate of sugared orange slices, plopped himself down beside Peter. “Or it'll be no fun when Will finds the one I asked Lucie to leave on his bed.”
    Tessa hid a bemused smile behind her hand, and turned away to go assist her husband.
 “Does Alexander ever plan to wake up?” Zachary asked Peter through a mouthful of chocolate almonds as he poked Alexander in the foot, “Come on Lightwood, you’ll miss all the fun!”
“Huh? Ah,” Alexander, still blinking himself awake, took in the scene amicably, unbothered by his sudden awakening. “I take it Will discovered one of the Christmas ducks?” 
“That he has.” Zachary said, offering Alexander a handful of chocolate covered peanuts, which he took “The one at the top of the christmas tree, to be exact. It was quite a success.” 
“I should hope it was,” Peter added earnestly, reaching over Zachary to pluck a few peanuts from Alexander, “Cruel as the activity is, that little duck was such a bugger to get up there, what a shame it would be if that were for nothing.”
“You have a good heart, Pete,” Alexander said fondly as he stretched out his long arms in a way rather reminiscent of Church the cat after a nap in a sunbeam, “But Uncle Will’s innate urge to climb onto unsuitable things simply begs to be exploited.”
========
 Alexander was smitten with the babies since they were born. Specifically, he was smitten with Peter.  Alexander had felt rather peevish the night the Fairchild kids were born, left waiting at his home (as a toddler was not fit to be in a delivery room) under the care of his soon to be sister-in-law Ari.   She had entertained him much of the evening before, though Alexander found very little joy in her activites, instead chosing to pout about the lack of his parents.
Eventually, however, he did doze off, and spent an "uneventful" next day being enterained by Ari; until his sister showed up to take him off to the Fairchild manor and meet his newest cousin.
He met Marigold and Thelma first, then was beckoned up onto the couch next to his father, who much to Alexander's surprise was holding another bundle. He pointed out that they said there would be two girl cousins, and Alexander had already met them. Where did this baby come from?  “There are two girls, Alexander,” Gabriel had said gently,  “But this is Peter. He’s your cousin too.”
In Gabriel’s arms Peter yawned, then sneezed, then opened his little eyes, hazel gaze meeting vivid blue for the first time ever.  “Where did you find him?” Alexander asked, leaning over the baby. “We didn't find him Alexander” Gabriel chuckled softly, “He’s Marigold and Thelma’s brother. We thought there would be two, but your aunt Charlotte had three. It seems you do get a boy cousin."
Without really thinking Alexander stuck out his hand to the baby offering him his pointer finger. After a pause Peter reached up a little hand, and wrapped a tiny fist around Alexander’s finger. “Papa,” Alexander whispered, delighted and enamored in the way only a toddler could be, “Papa, I love him.”  “I’m glad.” Gabriel put a hand on his son's back, his voice very hoarse, “I’m very glad, Alex.”  For a few minutes they sat there quietly, Alexander staring in wonder, and Gabriel blinking back heavy ,bittersweet tears. After some time Gabriel handed Peter back to Henry, excusing himself, and ducked into the hallway, followed quickly by his wife.
=========================
In terms of birthday's I think they do. The Lightwoods dont go as all out for birthdays as, say, the Herondales do, but there is the normal cake, presents, fun outting to the city or what have you.
Although, I do think Gabriel is the one who is involved in most of it. Cecily is a little more withdrawn around special occasions like that, and Gabriel tends to want to be closer to his kids on such days.
Also Alexander is not about to pass up on a day were he is practically owed cake. He's getting that red velvet whenever he can.
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maiiuelle · 3 months ago
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i'm so happy my worms could help !! because i have more!
so stalkers like, ramp up in severity when they feel like whatever they're obsessed with is threatened or is threatening to leave (personal experience) , so what if kook!reader gets a boyfriend? she gets one that's a kook for added drama, who tells her that jj has been snooping around her house, and she's so paranoid to be alone so she has him help her confront him, but that just makes him even worse?? BONUS POINTS if it's Rafe!!
cause he'd genuinely be so devastated that you don't feel safe because of him, but him finding out you have a bf would make him so much more reactive in general to the point that the pogues would start pointing out— hey, you keep pullin your gun on people, bud, what's up? AS HE'S GENUINELY TWEAKING ABOUT YOU WITH SOMEONE HELLO??
Rafe catchin JJ stalking you as he is also stalking you 🫢
-🪻
omg rafe passes by your house a lot during the day — he calls it being a good boyfriend, and everyone else calls it obsessive. he just likes to drive by a few times in between meetings to check up on you, taking his role as your protector very seriously — so you can imagine his surprise when he found jj maybank doing the exact same thing.
rafe did not appreciate that pogue lurking around your house, but as much as he wanted to slam on his brakes and cause a scene in front of your home right then and there, he decided to play the long game.
he tells you all about what he saw later that night, framing it like he had already been driving that way and just happened to notice the blonde peeking over your fence like a serial killer.
“fuckin’ creep’s so comfortable sneaking around your yard, who knows what else he’s doing.” rafe shakes his head, rubbing his jaw in thought. the picture he’s painted in your head makes a chill run down your spine. he notices your unease and continues. “listen, i can take care of it if that’s what you want. swear to god, you’ll never see him again.”
it’s all too much too fast. jj seemed completely harmless the few times you’d hung out, you’d never tell rafe but you thought he was sweet. you never would have thought he’d do something like that, you almost can’t believe it’s true.
at first, you tell rafe it must be a big misunderstanding, but you can’t help the building anxiety that he really is out there watching your every move. so, to ease your mind, you accept his offer to confront him.
you’re not too sure what happened after that — all you know is rafe came back to your place with bruised knuckles and a promise that pogue would stay away.
it works, but only for a little while. who knows what rafe told him — but whatever it was, jj could barely hold it together. he knows you’re not safe with rafe, even if rafe is thinking the same thing about him. he’d get you away from him somehow, no matter what he had to do.
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fictionalsupermarket · 1 month ago
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If you could draw Loop annoying Odile that would make me so giddy c:
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the sillies....
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vinegar-rights · 5 months ago
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Also I’d love to see the other doodles you have of that headcanon !! I love ur art <3
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Im so glad u do! Heres some :3! Tw for skinny seymour (older art). Ill add more to this headcanon that ive been cooking in my mind here:
Seymour would use sh to cope with his seated anger and self deprecation. I feel like im being so edgy when i say this… but pricking your finger on a thorn wouldnt produce that much blood to feed a budding plant. As twoey grows, eventually it wasnt a coping mechanism anymore, but to only feed audrey ii. Hed wear his gardening gloves more often to hide swollen fingers and bandaged wrists, and then taller gloves as it becomes more intense. Audrey would begin to notice and become worried, and seymour would just brush her off, explaining that whenever he holds gardening shears he “slips”, or just blaming his rampant clumsiness. With audrey ii, i see her as a representation of his desires and fantasies. She’d keep coaxing him to indulge in this behavior
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Eventually twoey doesnt need to rely on seymours blood anymore, but the power is still there. She still uses him and hes still dependent on her.
Seymour in both films are not squeamish when it comes to blood and gore, but the guilt and self awareness is what makes him sick. Hes letting himself be used by twoey, and dig into this hole he will never come out of. Hes easily manipulated and coerced, an example would be mr mushnik using seymours dream of having a parental figure in order to keep him in the flower shop and take away that chance of seymour leaving skid row, *his dream*. I see this as a read on how vulnerable seymour is, and how easily he can be taken advantage of.
Hes very quick to try to kill himself in the ‘84 film, which i take into consideration for. In the musical he does technically kill himself, entering twoeys maw as he vows to kill her from the inside. His recklessness and spiraling mental health at the end of the show is something I acknowledge for this headcanon.
So in conclusion: seymours vulnerability, self deprecation, unsteady mental health, unusually calm reaction to blood/gore, and some implications in the musical have lead me to believe that seymour has/had self harmed 😗👍
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mr-megaphone · 11 months ago
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Knubbler eating coleslaw. Yk that man would mess some up if he had the chance
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watched a guy eat coleslaw for 18 minutes for this
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husbandhoshi · 1 year ago
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Congrats on 3k!! You deserve it sooo much💌
If you have the time (and only if you have the time!) I would like to request a sort of a short bullet point fic. Or more so just your thoughts on the following: moving in with seventeen. Who is the one that labels every box? Who will live out of moving boxes for the next year. And yeah, just overall the vibes of new beginnings and promises😶‍🌫️
Pls only do write something if any of this inspires anything, if not pls don't feel burdened to write anyway!
I love your writing, so once again: congrats on the succes💗
seungcheol thinks it's one huge adventure. yes, he will be the person lifting the stupidly heavy boxes at the store. yes, he will make it a competition to build furniture as fast as possible (and race to take it all apart when you discover the desk legs are all different lengths because someone thought he could figure it out without the manual). even among the graveyard of boxes and bubble wrap and those huge styrofoam slabs he keeps chasing you with, seungcheol is happiest to lay with you on your bare, naked mattress (because he forgot to order sheets). he's planning what pictures of the two of you he wants to put on the walls. this is the first time he's owned a welcome mat and he's not even mad about it. it's all yours, together, and there's no bigger adventure than that.
his walk-in closet. bowls the perfect size for a portion of ramen, plus an egg. the lego taj mahal with two pieces missing that he insists will turn up sometime. these are some of the things jeonghan's not sure he can bring to your new apartment. it's not that he doesn't want to move in with you--he just doesn't know if he can. hell, you kissed him for the first time on the tiny futon in his living room, and he just learned it's too small for your new place. it's not until he watches you, later that day, play jenga with the toiletries on his bathroom counter because there's never been enough space for the two of you, that he realizes maybe it isn't such a bad thing to try something new. he imagines leaning you against a new sink, with that carrara marble you've been talking about, and he might even say he's looking forward to it.
you don't think there's a day you haven't seen joshua on zillow. look at my pinterest board, he'd say, and you wouldn't have it in you to ask how the hell you're affording that couch or if you really need a salt lamp that badly. you've lost count of the times your thursday nights consisted of a: your favorite chinese takeout and b: watching celebrity architectural digest videos. but joshua can't help it--to him, there's really nothing that would make him happier than waking up next to you in a bed you picked together. now if it was a midcentury modern canopy bed? even better. he can't wait to use his fancy little espresso machine to make your morning latte and grab your coat from the rack you got from that shop in LA before he kisses you before you head off to work. but they're all just things (pretty, shiny ones, albeit)--more ways he can show you the love you deserve.
junhui loves a good open house. early on in your relationship, you would dress to the nines before pretending to shop for a mansion you could never afford. junhui would comment on the door handles and the crown molding like he was a property brother, and then you'd finish the night off making out in the mcdonald's drive-thru. things are a little different now that you actually can afford a home. what if you end up not liking it? will you get tired of the wallpaper? will the closet be big enough? but surprisingly, none of this seems to matter when you walk into the house. (what's on your mind? you ask him. n-nothing, he says.) but he's really thinking about feeding you in that kitchen and spending the morning looking out those bay windows. how beautiful you'll look greeting him from that front door. needless to say, he's sold.
you find soonyoung hiding in the kitchen at your housewarming party. just an hour earlier, he was dumping cans of sparkling water in the jungle juice to make it more "adult" (as if it would erase the fact that an entire bottle of everclear had already disappeared into the mix). the hour before that, he was cleaning like a madman despite there not being much to clean yet. he held the duster the wrong way and you think he got more windex on the ceiling than on the windows. darling, what's wrong? you ask. his little, drunken hands wrap around yours so he can bring them to his cheeks. i just realized this is all ours. like, all of it, he wails, teary, and you realize he is far too many drinks down. it's only after you've sent him to bed with a water and a kiss that you really think about what he said. the hardwood floors, the duvet, the misshapen tiger plushie on the couch, him--all ours.
wonwoo is not an easy person to live with. the first three things he unpacked were, in order, his table, his first monitor, then his second monitor. then he ruined your perfectly curated aesthetic with his neon red keyboard and a gaming chair that would make any interior designer cry. the final straw is when wonwoo manages to kill the one and only houseplant you have, the single thing holding your home decor together. but he's trying, he really is. he's bought a silly little throw blanket for your couch (aren't the tassels fun? he says, wiggling the fabric between his hands). his ugly lamp has been replaced by a strange glowing cat light and there's a sticker on his computer tower. he buys a succulent and you have a little naming ceremony in your kitchen. and it lives, against all odds!
jihoon doesn't know the difference between a chaise and a sectional. cherry and mahogany look the same to him. and god forbid you ask him to choose between terrazzo and subway tile because he really thinks both of them look good and, no, he's not just saying that to make your life harder. jihoon isn't good at the hgtv stuff, but he's happy to move all the boxes. it's only when he's unpacking said boxes that he finally gets it. (the vase that came with the first bouquet of flowers he bought you. the record player you got him for your first anniversary, now fingerprinted, well-loved. matching valentine's day teddy bears, worn and baby pink.) you're standing on a stool stacked on top of another stool trying to hang a poster, and this is what home looks like.
seokmin wants to live in the ikea showrooms. you can't blame him--sometimes, when there's nothing better to do, you'll spend your afternoon in a bedroom that's not yours. seokmin will try on the lumpy blazer from the closet, and you'll beckon him to your sprawling king size bed, the one sat next to the painted on windows and floating shelves. honey, come to dinner, you'd say. he'll peek over your shoulder, arms wrapped around your middle, and you open the lid to a big, steaming pot of nothing. micke or lagkapten? you ask, completely unseriously. but he's thinking about it, really thinking about it. in his mind, he's building a home together, silly furniture piece by piece, counting down to the days when you really can agonize over plants and how many drawers you want in a desk.
when you got the keys to your new place, mingyu insisted you eat jajangmyeon to commemorate move-in day. unfortunately, he failed to account for the series of delays that led to you having absolutely no furniture to move in on said move-in day. but mingyu is nothing if not a man with a plan, so he runs to the store and buys the cheapest assortment of kitchen tools and ingredients for the world's most unlikely dinner. we really don't have to do this, you laugh, the backs of your legs cold on the kitchen counter. but i want to, he insists, holding out a spoon for you to taste. we have to christen the apartment. you eventually do christen it the right way (involving: lots of tongue, even more laughter), but you might prefer, just a tiny bit, the night you sat on the empty kitchen floor and fed mingyu out of a pan.
minghao has rearranged the living room four times now. every time you walk in, it feels like you've entered someone else's house. it doesn't look right, he says, hands on his hips like his life depended on it. you don't know how to tell him they all look right, every single version. in the first version, all cardboard furniture and plastic wrap, you gave up on deciphering the wifi setup and built a fort instead. the second involved an ottoman in the walkway, which you almost immediately stubbed your toe on (and laughed so hard you cried). in the third, the couch faced away from the adjoining room, and you accidentally spooked minghao so badly he almost broke his knitting needles. but it's all perfect, every iteration, because you're doing it together--a hypothesis he's more willing to believe when you shut him up with a kiss.
don't look now, but seungkwan is buying another doodad at your local sunday swap meet. it's a small painted figurine of a bear in a nightcap, which he simply points to and says that's me. you don't have it in you to mention the fact that you're currently unpacking his seemingly never-ending assortment of doodads and you couldn't possibly know where one more would go. it's only when you're getting ready for bed that you catch the little bear in the glow of the alarm clock light. there's already a turtle with a hat in the medicine cabinet (jeju, last summer). on top of the fridge, a woodcarving that says EAT. (tj maxx, 2 years ago. it still makes you laugh). even though you just moved, all these little seungkwan-isms make home a little more home.
you wouldn't call vernon a planner. his version of housewarming is watching you play the sims. but real life doesn't have nearly as much poolside drama or five story houses--just packing peanuts and 50 page appliance manuals. aren't boxes just drawers? vernon asked you one day. no, but that's how it always starts. two weeks after move-in, vernon cooks you breakfast with a pan procured from a cardboard box. by three weeks, you know the exact box everything is in. (you still haven't been able to find vernon's avril lavigne let go album, though.) it's only when you're eating dinner on top of the box that your dining table is in when you say, vernon, baby, i think we need to actually move in. he takes one look at you, who's wearing mismatched socks and his boxers because your shorts are underneath the tv box, and his smile nearly splits his cheeks. yeah, i think so too.
if you had asked chan what his dream house looked like, he would say it had a wraparound porch, a white picket fence, and a pool. your new apartment has none of those things. the length of your bedroom is a little more than one and a half times the length of his body and he's not even that tall. if he looks out the window he can see right into his neighbor's apartment (three cats and no bitches. almost like he's living next to wonwoo). and his feet stick out of the tub. but he's learning how to live in small spaces. he likes the squeeze of your bathroom, how you have to sit on the counter if you want to both brush your teeth together. he likes the bump of your elbows when you wash the dishes together. most of all, he likes falling asleep with you slotted to his side--even in your tiny bed, he wouldn't mind having you a little closer.
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good-beans · 6 months ago
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What do you think Kazui’s dad was like? During Kazui’s T2 QNA he said his dad was a cop and wanted him to be one and in his T1 QNA Kazui Said his family must find him embarrassing.
(Sorry this took forever to answer!!!! but) I always pictured Kazui’s relationship with his father to be that cold type of distant. 
Kazui never speaks ill about him – never painting him outright abusive or hurtful – plus it sounds like he kept his identity a secret to everyone, giving his father no reason to harass him about it. But then to mention he’s disappointed by Kazui even after getting a respectable job and wife… I think this comes together to show a relationship that was all dry professionalism. His answer about "children being distant" in his family seems to confirm there was always a divide.
Kazui’s generation was one of heightened pressure on masculinity, conformity, and repressed feelings. His father was probably not in a great state himself, but “that’s the way things are,” so he tried his best to teach that to his son. But we all know how people can pick up on what makes someone different, especially in their childhood as they’re learning to hide things better. So I think that even if Kazui never breathed a word about his secret to anyone, his parents would have guessed it. Their detachment and avoidance of anything too emotional/vulnerable would mean the family would never confront anything outright. 
Instead, his father would find roundabout ways to convey to his son that he needs to change (and be normal – acting in certain ways, making comments about others not fitting the status quo, and passing judgment on related behaviors. This, of course, destroys any chance at a close relationship, even if no insults are actually exchanged. Even when Kazui perfectly follows in his footsteps and attempts a “normal” life, there will always be those little comments and looks and expressions. His father never says he’s disappointed in the way his son was born, but both of them definitely know it. 
A little twist of the knife is that if they really are traditional, society-abiding people, I think they’d see each other fairly often. Kazui may have moved out, but it isn’t like he was disowned or cut them out of his life. On birthdays, holidays, achievements, police force events etc, he and Hinako would spend days and dinners visiting politely with them, talking about their jobs, lives, and all the little mundane things going on. They were content never discussing the glaring, life-altering issues going on under the surface, because “we’re men, you just don’t talk about things like that.”
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bthump · 1 year ago
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What are your thoughts or analyses on the phallic imagery in berserk? Less so the more obvious ones like seen in Casca’s nightmares which are obviously pointing to her sexual trauma, but like we see with the vagina-esque monsters and how Guts’ sword is alluded to being like a penis in some cases. Sorry if it’s a weird question lol
Sorry for the wait on this lol, I was on vacation for a while, and it's also a topic I wanted to spend some time on because I love it and I wanted to be relatively thorough. Thanks for the ask!
So yeah, disclaimers out of the way, Freudian analytical theory is very silly, very gender essentialist in ways that can often be transphobic and misogynist, and as far as I'm aware pretty much wholly unrelated to real psychology. Back in the 70s and 80s you had film theorists who took it seriously as a genuine glimpse into the subconsciousness of humanity or whatever, but now it's pretty much just a readily available source of sex and gender related symbolism that's easy to understand.
And in Berserk I do genuinely think it's a valid lens to view the story through because Miura is often quite heavy handed in utilizing it as symbolism. I mean, Guts literally gives someone an orgasm by stabbing her at one point. Some of this can definitely be a stretch, taking established symbols and running with them, but some of it is also almost certainly purposeful. I'll leave it to you to decide what you see as legit and what you see as stretching believability here.
This is very long lol
So yeah, it starts off strong in Berserk with Guts' oversized sword. Swords are dicks, ie sources of masculine power, especially in Berserk
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and in the context of the story the dragonslayer is Guts overcompensating imo. And it's not compensating for a small dick lol, which would be more the purview of comedy, but for a loss of masculinity, ie Guts' childhood abuse from Gambino, and rape trauma. It's about his need to prove himself because he was made to feel like he had to, imo.
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And it's not just the size of his sword, his obsession with it is also a major factor. He has a grandiose speech about how his sword is like a part of his body (hmm) and that it's been at his side through everything and he's always relied on it. The dream he lands on is to be the best and strongest sword fighter ever. He's currently having a breakdown over not being able to hit someone with his sword. He has a recurring tendency to break other guy's swords lol. At one point Casca screams at him that he essentially cares about his sword more than her. etc etc.
In the story dreams are at odds with emotionally healing human relationships, and dreams are represented by swords (Guts' sword obviously, Casca becoming Griffith's sword, Griffith calling the throne a sword while taunting the king in the dungeon as well as his vision of himself throwing him a sword and pointing to the castle in chapter 72).
So through a Freudian lens, Guts' sword can also be said to represent emotional isolation, positioning masculinity as emotionally isolating. Which, yk, fits with Griffith also equating dreams and masculinity in his Promrose Hall speech (a man must achieve a dream before he can have a family or lover) and, I suppose lol, Casca getting "softer" and more feminine as she falls for Guts, as femininity is therefore the opposite: emotional reliance on and support of others.
So if swords are dicks, then it follows that wounds are vaginas, ie yonic symbols. Also pretty obvious when you read some of the lines during the Guts and Casca sex scene lol. "I too want a wound I can say you gave me." These can represent weakness and victimization (I did warn for misogyny lol) and/or (often sexual) relationships and emotional openness.
So you have the relationships - "licking wounds" with Casca; Guts letting Casca stab him when he thinks about abandoning Griffith; the Beast of Darkness calling Casca the wound Griffith left so Guts can keep feeling the pain Griffith caused; Griffith scratching his own shoulder where Guts' sword pointedly didn't wound him; Griffith being out of reach of Guts' sword post-Eclipse; "let's give him a heap of raw iron;" and Farnese grinding on Guts' sword while possessed and Slan directly treating being stabbed as sexual penetration for the most obvious examples...
Also I'd argue that any time Guts gets his ass kicked in a fight it functions as an echo of his rape trauma symbolically and subconsciously to Guts. Both kinda obviously at times, like eg when Slan overpowers him and tears off his shirt while wounding his chest, and kisses him after the stabbing, causing Guts to feel a burst of fear
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or when Rosine stabs Guts through the mouth as another enemy who flirts with Guts mid-fight. And of course the first duel with Griffith in which Guts unilaterally sets the stakes to sex slavery because he's projecting.
But also a little more subtlely, such as when Zodd is given the same position as Nightmare Donovan in Guts' concussion nightmare after he kills Adonis, or all this consistent imagery that rapists and apostles tend to get.
Or, interestingly, the way the Berserk armour functions as self-harm as Guts fights by penetrating Guts to "heal" him.
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Something that solidifies its hold over Guts and makes him lose more and more of his positive humanity to his urge to kill.
So yeah, from a Freudian angle I'd suggest that Guts is driven to fight to reclaim the sense of masculine power he was stripped of when he was raped, and every fight can be said to be a repetition of his rape trauma in which he (usually) successfully fights back, but also continuously retraumatizes himself rather than healing.
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I'm going to delve a little deeper into how phallic and yonic symbols intersect with the characters' relationships now that we've outlined some of the preliminary symbolism, starting from the Golden Age.
The first duel between Guts and Griffith is rife with Freudian symbolism, very overtly. Griffith stabs Guts and then Guts proceeds to have a nightmare about his rape trauma. Then he projects that trauma onto Griffith when he assumes Griffith wants to fuck him and adds sexual stakes to their duel. Then, yk, he takes Griffith's sword into his mouth lol.
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Griffith winning by dislocating Guts' arm can be easily taken as a symbolic unmanning/castration, nicely introducing us into Guts' three years of growth towards prioritizing relationships instead of aimless sword-swinging to prove himself. It's also suggestive of penetration when you're primed to look for sexual symbolism (and if Guts offering Griffith his ass and then biting a sword doesn't prime you for it, what does?):
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And the two of them losing their swords in the course of the fight and resorting to unarmed combat can also be taken as a telling symbol of the conflict between dreams and their relationship with each other. They lose the symbols of their dreams and contend only with each other, in a more positive contrast to the second duel that ends their relationship, in which they fight only with swords and never touch each other.
Wounds come into it when Griffith nearly gets killed rushing in against Zodd to save Guts, leading to the most impactful moment of their relationship, where Griffith admits he did it solely for Guts' sake and had no other reason. Griffith also points out how wounded Guts is after that fight, in what I'd call a nearly flirtatious way:
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And if you follow these symbols completely strictly this scene suggests Guts retreating into his defensive masculinity in his sword exercises after being defeated/emasculated by Zodd and accused of not valuing his personal relationships by Casca, and finally finding a new, more constructive purpose for his sword after Griffith essentially confesses his devotion to him.
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Dedicating his sword to Griffith in return for the wounds Griffith suffered for his sake, with, it has to be noted when the topic is freudian symbolism, his sword held at exactly crotch level.
In the second duel Guts destroys Griffith's sword before leaving, a symbolic castration which is most likely intended to represent and foreshadow Griffith's subsequent loss of power when he throws his life away and ends up tortured in a dungeon for a year. More interestingly imo, is Griffith tracing scratch-markes on his shoulder after sleeping with Charlotte and while crying over Guts - the same shoulder Guts' sword didn't quite hit when he won the duel, drawing attention to the lack of a wound by Guts' hand, a wound he created himself and traces in his devastation.
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You have a nice... I don't know what the comic terminology is lol so I'm just going to call it a match-cut here, with Griffith and Casca both getting penetrated by the same number of arrows/skewers, to signify Griffith and the Hawks' fall from power, in contrast to Guts' growing phallic power as he pursues his sword swinging. Power which he demonstrates when he returns and saves the Hawks and Casca and Griffith by swinging his sword a lot and defeating a lot of powerful enemies and, if I'm gonna be crass, healing Casca's suicidal despair with his dick lol.
Interestingly though, before he does that he lets Casca stab him while experiencing the guilt of having driven Griffith into a torture chamber by leaving. It's a wound that highlights his emotional connection to Griffith and vulnerability to those emotions, even as he tries to deny them. He then manages to successfully deny them for a little while longer after having sex with Casca.
In this Freudian context, Guts and Casca's sex scene is an affirmation of a relationship, but one which is emotionally uneven, with Casca ready and willing to emotionally rely on and support Guts, but Guts still dedicated to his sword-swinging dream, inviting Casca with him but only as long as she doesn't get in the way of what he wants to do. This does fit with phallic symbols being associated with emotional distance and yonic symbols being associated with emotional closeness lol. (Also fittingly, the one way he does open up to her is about his rape trauma after a flashback.)
It's worth noting that in this disconnect Casca erroneously assumes Guts fought the hundred men and "bled" for her, making her want "a wound" from him in return. Guts fighting those hundred men is much more reminiscent of his fights against apostles, the fights that revolve around replaying his rape trauma to make himself feel better. Casca assumes they already have an emotional bond due to Guts' wounds, but she's wrong - Guts specifically thinks to himself during the hundred man fight that he's not doing it for Casca.
This is reflected in the Wyald fight when Guts insists on fighting Wyald, again as part of the whole reaffirmation of masculinity thing I outlined at the start of this, when Casca just wants him to run away. The Wyald fight is pretty overt about being about Guts' rape trauma imo, moreso than most fights in the story. Wyald's rapiness is made a point of from Guts' point of view when he sees him wielding the torso of a woman sexually impaled on a pike and gets extra angry, and when he literally cuts off Wyald's dick when he's about to rape Casca, and then has his pointed line about needing to "settle the score with him... with them... by his own sword."
SO ESSENTIALLY to sum up this subsection, I think you can argue that what prevents Guts and Casca from being an equal relationship is Guts stlil being hung up over needing to prove his masculine power through sword-swinging, rather than embracing his emasculation (which, remember, tends to signify positive relationships in this context) and coming to terms with it ("immersing himself in sorrow" as Godo says much later.)
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Like, to return to Griffith, it's fitting that after Guts destroys his sword and he goes through a year of torture and is thoroughly emasculated, he's able to recognize his feelings for Guts and understand that Guts is more important to him than the dream, the "sword called the throne."
But he doesn't quite come to terms with his emasculation either. This symbolism is one explanation for the wagon scene where he propositions Casca - a desperate bid for some form of power. Not the strongest explanation imo, but since we're currently in the business of actively looking for this symbolism, it definitely fits. Casca's rejection and pity reinforce Griffith's emasculation, and overhearing her tell Guts to leave again is the final straw. Relationships are a bust, swords are now his only recourse, as we see when he has a vision of himself throwing him a sword and pointing to the castle.
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You could take the nightmarish vision he has of a life with Casca as Griffith rejecting emasculation, but an alternate way of taking it is Griffith regaining a form of phallic power, and the emotional isolation that goes with it. After all, it's implied that he has a child with Casca, while totally withdrawn and emotionally isolated.
I once said in a different silly essay that Griffith choosing the dream is, in a way, Griffith choosing another version that nightmare, and that take also fits here.
And hey, it's another reason for Femto to rape Casca lol, if we want to ascribe meaning there, and of course we must in this kind of analysis. In the wagon Griffith essentially offers sex to Casca for the faint vestige of masculine power it could give him (emotional isolation and a child); in his nightmare he imagines that life and it drives him to suicide; and after becoming Femto he forces sex onto Casca and then continues on to embody emotional distance and masculine power.
This power is painfully demonstrated through the rape of Casca, but also subsequently through his pure untouchability (often in pointedly sexualized contexts); through his phony relationship with Charlotte and ascending to the ultimate patriarchal role of king/emperor and taking that sword called the throne; and I guess also through his actual sword lol which he still uses.
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An example of sexualized untouchability - check out the positioning of that third thought bubble, in this scene where Griffith lords his invulnerability over Ganishka.
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And look at all those pillars, I'm js.
And I'd be remiss not to point out the most recent confrontation with Guts where Guts tries many times to hit his naked body with his giant sword, completely fails, and then Griffith kidnaps Casca. More very on-point emasculation symbolism, it might as well be Guts trying to fuck him but unable to get hard lol. His breakdown afterwards doesn't do much to disabuse you of that notion either.
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Anyway, back to post-Eclipse Guts. There's not much else to add that I didn't cover at the start, but in brief:
Guts has lost his arm during the Eclipse, which is an emasculation - he loses it while watching Femto rape ~his woman~ so it's like the most traditional symbolic castration there is lol. And of course he replaces it with a bigger, better, and more overt phallic symbol: a canon. And like the first thing we see him do with it is shove it into the mouth of a monster he's banging and blow her head off. So yk, there's that.
And there's Puck, who exists to help bridge Guts' emotional distance and essentially serves as the feminine counterpart to Guts' masculinity for a while. From his magical empathy, to his tiny size, to his lack of genitalia (note that in Freudian theory the lack of a penis is an indicator of femininity rather than specifically the presence of a vagina), to his connections with female characters Theresia and Jill, even arguably to his introduction where Guts saves him from a bunch of men throwing phallic knives at him by skewering them with his own (bigger) projectiles, this is consistent during the Black Swordsman/Conviction arc era.
Chestnut Puck is a lot more boyish, with his particular humour, his cameraderie with an annoying teenage boy, and now having his own feminine counterpart in Ivalera, but that's fine because his thematic job as a feminine influence on Guts is over after Guts starts collecting more friends.
And as far as the RPG group goes, there are a few notable instances of phallic symbolism for them too. Farnese and Serpico are an obvious example, with Farnese sexualizing the wounds Serpico voluntarily suffers for her, when she demands he duel for her honour a bunch of times.
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Farnese brandishing the end of her whip at him doesn't hurt the freudian power dynamic symbolism either lol.
In the Conviction arc Farnese wielded a sword she was incapable of using, suggestive of her true femininity under a brash masculine surface, and when she softens in the Millenium Falcon arc she becomes a caretaker with only a small dagger for self-defense. That said, she does get that epic moment of stabbing a tiger in the eye with a long silver pole (candlestick) when she rejoins Guts' crew rather than becoming a housewife, so she still gets some badass phallic weapon imagery lol.
Serpico wields a thin rapier in the Conviction Arc, which Guts easily grabs in his hand, and in the Millenium Falcon arc he switches to a... limp feather duster lol. Serpico is very feminized compared to Guts and his weapons fit as part of that, but they're still effective weapons. You could maybe argue, within this Freudian lens, that this is indicative of Serpico's healthier relationship with masculinity. He's not compensating for anything, he's at peace with himself.
And god I gotta say something about Guts and Serpico's duels. In the first one you have Serpico delaying Guts while Farnese steals Casca from him, and part of that delay is to force Guts into a fight where he can't wield his sword, a parallel emasculation to Casca being kidnapped.
Then you have their confrontation after Farnese's no good very bad night, which is just incredibly suggestive lol.
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You cannot tell me this isn't Guts getting blueballed when Serpico leaves after one quick exchange. Particularly coming in the same chapter featuring possessed Farnese grinding on Guts' sword (which Guts was much less interested in, incidentally). Also: wounds as sexual imagery again. Guts licking the blood off his cheek? Come on.
And finally you have their fight in Farnese's basement, in which Serpico attempts to hinder Guts by surrounding him with giant pillars, which Guts smashes through as he dodges around them. Another neat illustration of Guts' pure phallic power and Serpico's much more effeminate style.
One final note to address part of your ask, which didn't naturally fit into the rest of this lol: I would interpret vaginal imagery in monsters as mainly castration anxiety, yk, vagina dentata vibes, the fear of sticking your dick in a hole you can't see into. There's actually a lot of interesting stuff to consider in terms of the feminine as the unknowable other when it comes to Freudian theory, but that's like, not something I would expect Miura to lean into first of all, and also it would take another essay of explanation. If you're interested in that kind of Freudian analysis though I'd recommend the books Men, Women, and Chainsaws by Carol J. Clover and The Dread of Difference, edited by Barry Keith Grant. I took a course on women and horror films ages ago and read chunks of those, and it was very fun, and iirc both address Freudian imagery in horror.
Okay! So that's the rundown of like, all the examples of Freudian imagery that interest me at least lol. This isn't exhaustive ofc, Berserk is long and not stingy with this stuff, but this response is already so long and meandering lol, so I'm going to wrap it up here.
To sum up, phallic imagery often represents masculine power as well as masculine flaws (like emotional isolation) in Berserk, while yonic/vaginal imagery tends to represent feminine weakness as well as feminine virtues (like emotional connection and vulnerability). As a general rule, the more phallic imagery someone violently swings around, the more fucked up they are. Phallic violence is used to compensate for past trauma, but it only continues the cycle of violence. The way to break that violence is to accept one's wounds and focus on them, to heal, rather than trying to distract from them.
I don't think this is always the best way to interpret Berserk lol, but it adds another dimension that very often complements the surface meaning and thematic resonance of the story, sometimes purposefully, sometimes likely incidental. And either way it's a lot of fun to read into!
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zeroducks-2 · 2 months ago
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🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?
💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?
💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?
🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?
Okay I spent the whole day yesterday trying to come up with an answer to this, and then realized that the "theories" out there are mostly actually headcanons? I mean I personally have a whole ass crackpot conspiracy theory about Silver Age Flash comics but I haven't seen many of those around.
So I'll go with a popular "headcanon" I disagree with (between quotation marks because lots of people act like this is canon): The whole Gotham/Bludhaven vigilante ensemble living in Wayne Manor. At no point in time this happened. These people barely speak to each other and for sure they never lived together.
💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?
It's DC. They don't stay dead. Even if I personally would like for Bruce to die and stay dead for a while since the character has no been squeezed like an orange until the last drop and has not much else to give to the narrative anymore - get him out of the picture for a while and let the other characters actually grow in his absence.
💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?
help my pansexual ass thinks everyone is hot
I already mentioned Harvey. I'm gonna have to say Bernard Dowd - he's the most generic looking kid I've ever seen in my life and he was way hotter when he was 6ft tall with noodle arms and a beak of a nose.
ask game here
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herefortheships · 28 days ago
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What is bj? In the film he is human but they say he is a demon
I think he is an entity that goes beyond just a ghost, perhaps something like a poltergeist. He could be a demon, as he's been referred to as such in the movies more than once, but he does refer to himself as a ghost, so it's possible he's simply a powerful ghost. In short, my headcanon is that some spirits can evolve into more powerful entities based on the manner of their death and their time in the Netherworld. I give a better answer in this post.
But I also have a more canon-aligned answer now, based on what it's written in the Handbook for the Recently Deceased while Astrid was holding it open in the movie. There's a page about Soul Sucker entities. I can't read it well, but you can see that it says something about how Soul Suckers form if they were satanic worshippers in their lives, and that it also depends on how they died in "conspicuous circumstances". You can see a screenshot someone took of the book in this reddit post.
So there is some validity in the headcanon about how a person lived and how they died has something to do with what they become in the afterlife.
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shadow-juice-squirt · 2 years ago
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I’m not sure if you’re accepting requests or not. Or if you’re just willing to chat about ideas?
I’m just super curious if Hawks would be a virgin before he got with you. Sure, he has tons of fans who would probably happily hop into bed with him in a heartbeat. The fandom loves to paint him as this playboy.
And I honestly cannot see that. I can’t see him willingly hurting others like that. And we know how difficult it is for him to get close to other people. So I guess all of that is kind of what had me wondering.
(And maybe I just think inexperienced Hawks trying so hard to please you is kinda cute.)
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I think there's a high likelihood of hawks being a virgin before getting into a relationship for multiple reasons.
he's a workaholic, and I doubt even has time to do things like secretly going to red light districts to avoid public press.
he's shown to be very determined to fulfill his dream of a better, easier world.
therefore having sex (while he's single) is the last thing on his mind.
so, when he does finally enter a relationship, things slightly change.
I wouldn't say his sex drive suddenly increases since he's never had the time to think about it before.
that is, until you bring it up.
now he's curious, and if he ever does have free time (which is rare) there may come a time where he finally wants to give it a shot.
especially since it's with someone he can trust.
*mini scenario*
"hey..remember when you talked about having sex ? I think I'm ready."
he ask a lot of questions once you actually start.
and I mean in a very nonsexual way while doing something very sexual.
say he's fingering you.
"do you like that?"
he says in a completely normal tone.
he thinks it's cute the way you blush and takes note of your reactions.
once you're ready to take him, he's - again - asking questions as he goes.
"does that feel good?" "am I going too fast?"
his nervousness shows in the beginning.
it doesn't matter whether you yourself are a virgin or not.
he's extremely cautious, either because
1) if you are a virgin, he doesn't want to hurt you.
2) if you are not, he most likely starts off too fast.
but as time goes by he starts to get the hang of it.
really turned on by the face you make when you cum.
by the end, he's really grateful.
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iravaid · 8 months ago
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sry if this is random but will u tell us what english au is? i remember seeing it passing re: codposting and im so curious
Hi i'm so happy you asked
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English AU came about when me and @farramint started bonding over how much we hated the comics and talked about how things might look if Roba was more competent.
English AU sprouts from the concept of what would happen if Simon let the brainwashing 'work' and started complying with Roba, to an extent, as his personal attack dog. Both as a way to get the torture to stop (so he would be healthy enough in the future to escape on his own, when the opportunity arose), and to stall Roba getting bored with Simon and killing him (as, in this AU, Roba had Sparks killed, leading Simon to realise his time is limited here, and dependent on that sadist's interest in him).
It's also a fun, morbid enough exploration on how low Simon will be forced to stoop while 'working' for Roba (murder, torture and such, yknow how it is), as well as the harassment, humiliation, and torture (of all kinds) he'd have to tolerate within the Zaragoza cartel. Things like forcefully being tattooed, mocked for the sexual assault and torture he'd been subjected to, and being referred to by 'English' as opposed to his actual name. I can see Roba subtly holding Simon's family hostage (to where they don't know they're in danger), and making sure Simon knows that any step too far out of line will lead to their harm. Gripped by the idea that the first time Simon hears his brother's, or mother's, voice in months is a conversation secretly recorded between one of them, and someone Roba had planted in Manchester in order to keep tabs on them.
It also lead to the idea of Roba, in all his arrogance, seeing a weakness in Las Almas following the upheaval within the cartel causing El Sin Nombre to rise to prominence. And this spurs him to try and expand operations. One thing leads to another, and Valeria convinces 'English' to help her against Roba, in exchange for his own freedom. Roba eventually dies, Valeria and Simon are violent girlbosses in arms, and Simon is coping sooo well after the torture nexus that he's just going to brutally hunt down the remaining Zaragoza cartel lieutenants while in this tenuous alliance with El Sin Nombre, who is also unsure how much to trust this man, as well as unsure if she wants to even let him go - Simon is very good at what he does, and in all honesty he knows too much about her identity. Also extremely to draw parallels between Valeria and Rudy, but if people want to read about that lmk because that's a separate post entirely.
And it makes sense for the 141 to eventually appear, maybe somewhat faithful to the plot of MW2, with the missiles and such <3. Except now there's some ulterior motives from Price, who might be aware of the MIA SAS serviceman who got tangled up in rumours of corruption and cartels. Leading to him trying to find Simon Riley and bring him back home with this sense of duty/honour to uphold, in the wake of higher-ups failing this man.
Simon then going from one master (Roba) to another (Valeria) to another (Price) is very fun to consider, as well. Valeria giving Simon more independence than Roba ever did, with shreds of respect to stop him from rankling under her thumb as badly (but still keeping Control, at the end of the day). Price is very much a man who knows how to utilise the men under him as Weapons, and while he respects his subordinates as people (versus Roba seeing Simon as a convenient attack dog he used to make kneel naked, arms behind his back, in a wire kennel for hours on end), Price ultimately values them by their individual abilities to keep the 'bad guys' afraid of their own shadows, and to 'save' the world.
This au has everything. Alejandro-Valeria bitter divorce, competent Roba horrors, Graves is there for some reason (he explodes in the tank again), Simon slaughter hashtag girl momen with a cunty silk buttonup a (with the buzzcut no less)(and houndcoding)(and corruption. but how much is merely just building off his sas conditioning), Price's vague sense of corruption but 'for the greater good', Soap and Gaz's horror at Simon's situation in a 'this very easily could've been us' way, and Gaz gets thrown out of another helicopter.
augh this became long, i hope it makes sense. The idea is ultimately that simon gets to go home, too, and tries to readjust to a 'normal' life, reuniting with Tommy and Sharon and Beth and Joseph. But I can see Price convincing him to return to the service (he knows a lifer when he sees one, and why waste a good soldier), potentially as a private contractor with the 141.
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paranormaljones · 2 months ago
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2, 7, 8, 12, and 21. :D💜
HI I'M HERE I TOTALLY DIND'T FORGOR
2. Name something you want to read?
The Earthsea Cycle by Ursula K. Le Guin! It's been recommended to me a billion times and I really need to go pick up my library card so I can borrow digital versions of it. It sounds like it'd be right up my alley. I also desperately want to read Sunrise on the Reaping but obviously that one's not out yet 😭
7. Draw something that makes you happy, don't worry about your art skills!
Imagine, if you will, me. But with one crucial difference: I am a pony :D I really need to draw ponies more. They make me happy.
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8. Name something you are looking forward to?
YOU BEING IN MY HOUSE LATER THIS WEEK :DDDDDDD
12. Favorite comfort drink?
I'll do a different answer from the last one and say hot chocolate, but it's a very specific brand of hot chocolate. Mayana, I think it's called. It's so yummy.
21. What is something you have been meaning to try?
Weightlifting, actually! I wanna exercise and the house I'm living at now has a TON of workout equipment that we're free to use whenever we want, including a weight bench. I want arm muscles.
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