#thanks for blessing me with another hyperfixation

[diathadevil]

Listen I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled programs with shoujo fan arts and (hopefully) some art fight art this month.

But for now, the green Finnish rapper man from Vantaa has taken over my hamster wheel of a brain.

[rigormortissettingin]

how to get perfect grades from a short attention span girlie that nobody asked for

when you get home from school, rewrite all your notes from all the important classes that day (if you’re a british slag like me then just do all your gcse subjects)

learn how to do deep work: work for a really long period of time with barely any breaks where you don’t get distracted and get shit done — having noice cancelling headphones whilst listening to white noise etc works best for me

don’t let anything distract you, put your phone away in another room, etc

if you can’t concentrate, before your revision sesh, stare at a still object for 1 min to help with your focus

have a schedule/a weekly routine!!! i know you’re lazy and have been avoiding making one so here’s my routine: on school days I rewrite all my notes from the classes (that you care about) that day and do some homework then leave the rest for the weekends

mindset is EVERYTHING. be positive about everything in your life and stop being a pessimistic bitch. everything will be okay. jeez.

for music, find a few white noise/focus music playlists and listen to them with noise cancelling headphones for most intense focus (linking my fav spotify playlists below)

write everything out by hand. don’t be lazy you dumb fucker and type everything up on quizlet. quizlet is bullshit and you know it. it’s been scientifically proven that writing things out help you remember them better

go over things early in the morning and late at night (quickly proven to stick in your brain more)

find what works best for you. find your perfect environment, music, time of day to revise, method etc. i work best in my room after 4 pm by using flash cards I have written out by hand

don’t let food distract you!!! if you have snacks nearby but you’re eating them instead of working then put them away

have an app for revision. study bunny if my favourite one it’s so cute but it doesn’t distract me

holidays are a blessing. dedicate some time every day in the holidays for revision, even if it’s not a lot

have a good balance between school and other hobbies. i would say have a good social life but i honestly don’t think having one is that important. or at least it’s not important to me, but if you want a good social life then go for it

have goals for the future, like if you want to go to uni and where you want to go if you do, what field you want to specialise in, etc and work towards them

if you want to exceed in school then you have to make revision and academic excellence your coping mechanism or a safe haven to calm you down

reading books, especially literature helps so much with everything. not just your vocabulary but it also helps your understanding of the world and helps you see everything in a different light. and don’t give me that “but i do read” bullshit because tiktok smut twisted love twisted hate icebreaker all that crap that you’re not even old enough to read don’t count. my fav books if you need any recs: the virgin suicides (not literature, just well-written), the secret history (not literature, just well-written), girl, interrupted (again, well written but not literature), crime and punishment, carmilla, dracula, alice in wonderland, emma, pride and prejudice, sense and sensibility, much ado about nothing, a midsummer nights dream, rebecca, the outsiders, little, women and loads more

delete social media if it worsens your mental health or your grades. deleting tiktok has been the best decision of my entire life, i was so unhappy for so long because endlessly scrolling was a coping mechanism but now im actually happy for once in my life and my grades are quite good

pray like you didn’t revise and revise like you didn’t pray

i have to have a number 20 because odd numbers besides 13 and 7 annoy me

thank you

[thecoffeelorian]

The Anomaly Series, Chapter 3: The Quest (Jod Na Nawood x Reader)

A/N: ...Yes, this story is now, OFFICIALLY, canon divergent. Ya know, because I don't condone/endorse violence against children, and any other disclaimers I need to put here.

Also, there are three literal episodes left, so pardon me if I'm still holding out for Jod and Neel eventually twinning in their clothing choices in canon. 'Nuff said.

Chapter Title: The Quest

Genre: Drama/Romance; Slow Burn; Obvious Canon Divergence.

Word Count: 1,698 words

AO3: Click Here!

Special Notes: As I'm not yet sure how I even begin to breach the topic of child abuse here...let's just do the safe thing and label this as 'Spoilers up to Episode 4'. Thank you.

No Pressure Tags:

@chenoa-devyn-blog @not-approvedtrash @lulalovez @deepestballoonllama-fandoms @papa-poutine

@xbeyondthegatex @bridge-always @loverdjudeforever @kucharka23 @khaleesihavilliard

@xitlalli2001 @braveincafleet @amawu23 @gun-roswell @bruceewayne

@shirley-girly @cloudofpinkicecream @lokigirlszendaya @valdasha @aemondvelaryon

@carry-on-wayward-daughter @pantasticalcat @robin-hyperfixates @down-down-by-the-river @sydneyann623

@brookeandherfandoms @kazunish @redermraven @ladyofthelakee @nightlordsvengence

@tarboo13 and anybody else who wonders what romance would look like for this hot mess of a man. :D

I’m a person who needs your help…

As of ten seconds ago, every other thought that had once been safe inside your mind feels as though they’ve all flown away, and so not left much else behind them save for one of the few thoughts that remains.

You’re officially involved.

There’s no other way around it now, because you’re feeling it too deep in your consciousness to turn back. You’re involved in this stranger’s case, and it’s going to take nothing less than a little Reclamation of your own to knock you off this path, and—despite all of your previous attempts to calm down, there’s some of the old adrenaline starting to course back into your body.

My help…? What kind of help do you need?

This rush makes you just a tiny bit lightheaded as you wait for Jack’s response, not knowing if he’s about to try and sweet-talk you into arranging a jailbreak or not. That was THE one thing that the Reclamation Committee had been worried about, and so, even if he let loose with a mountain of ‘Sweethearts’, odds already were that you would have to turn him down due to your ingrained obedience to the Law.

The same Law that, unfortunately, has spirited him out of your reach and out of your sight.

Something that I doubt my jailers want anything to do with.

And why is that?

They’re the ones who just robbed me.

Not that you’ll necessarily have to, maybe, because he hasn’t brought it up yet…but then again, he could always try to trick you up by slipping some kind of missing key or lockpick into the mix. Judging by how the security droids were more than happy to keep their weapons trained upon him, anything is possible here.

I’m sorry.

No need to apologize to me, sweetheart. You’re not the one who did this.

But I am the one you want to help fix it...right?

That depends. How good are you at finding lost things?

That’s one thought you have to keep fresh and safe inside your mind no matter what, along with eventually refusing him in that sense if it should happen.

In the meantime, though, you’re adding a second page to this new file of yours, as you have a slight feeling that you might certainly need it later.

Well…I once found my best friend’s missing keychain back in school.

That must have been a while ago, though. What about recently?

That depends on where you’re going with this. What’s so important that you need my assistance?

Fine. They took all my belongings away before they locked me up. Happy now?

Another thought that you’re unfortunately blessed with, though, is the image of Crimson Jack being attacked by two prison droids. The first never thinks twice about administering a few short electric shocks; the second strips him clean of any and all weapons or tools; and then finally, both of them turn and tilt their heads to each other in a gesture of smug triumph.

More like slightly flustered, but thank you—

—‘Flustered’?

It’s what happens when a person’s annoyed, confused, or both. Continue.

All right…

This is one thought you don’t want to fixate on too strongly, because you already have a feeling that you might end up worrying yourself sick if you don’t pull yourself together first. No, it’ll be better for the both of you if you have work like this to focus on instead, and for this reason, you add a third page.

…First item, a blaster pistol of my own making, about twenty-five years old with a slim wooden handle. Second item—

—Wait, what’s a blaster?

You’ve never seen a blaster before?

I’ve never seen a war before. Care to describe it?

There’s a small pause between writing, almost as though he’s stopping to think or else let out a sigh of frustration—then your next set of directions comes.

All right, look. I don’t want to take all day, and I’m guessing you have plans, so let’s keep it simple. Put your hand flat out in front of you.

As for you, you’re left raising both eyebrows before doing as you’re asked, though not without feeling just a little bit silly.

Now, take the last two fingers on whatever hand you’ve picked, and curl them in towards you.

Another curious direction, to be sure…yet you obey that one as well.

And finally, once you’re ready, raise your remaining three fingers up and act like you’re shooting the wall.

Once you’ve fully caught on to this particular mental image, however, that’s when you almost drop your writing equipment out of shock.

…Heck.

Nasty thing, isn’t it?

Wow, you think?!

Try spending twenty years with one of those aimed at you, and you’ll get what war is.

Whatever you say, CJ…

You let out an annoyed huff of your own before adding a fourth page to your document, somewhat feeling as though you might cut this conversation off if it gets too—well, wild. As someone who still knows precious little about the one you’re writing to, you certainly count this idea as a possibility.

…Any other weapons I need to know about?

‘CJ’?

Those are your initials, silly. Think of it like a nickname if that’s easier.

Hm…

Another small pause. He seems to be taking his time figuring out what to make of you as well, or so the slow pacing of this ‘meeting’ suggests to you.

…Anyways. As I was saying, second item, fairly unused Lightsaber as I prefer the blaster.

I suppose that's like a knife?

If you want to make comparisons, yes. It's got a thin, metallic hilt and so far, it's powered by a green colored stone somewhere in there.

Right...thin hilt, green stone. What else?

Brown jacket with gray stripes on the sleeves and collar. That’s the third item I’m missing.

And the fourth?

It’s sewn inside the third. In fact, if you have a chance, I’d prefer to recover both of them before we find the others.

So it’s all a big mystery for you to solve, then. Some off-the-wall version of the Great Party Icebreaker to endear you to The New Guy In The Office, provided as always that you don’t end up contracting Foot-In-Your-Mouth Disease.

Ah, well...your nights at home, totally alone, were getting a little boring anyway.

Very good...so you’re in a holding cell right now, I assume?

Obviously.

What are you being charged with?

A fifth page. Gods, this file’s getting a little big, or so you’re all too happy to tell yourself as nobody else can see the awkward look on your face right now.

Nobody’s bothered to tell me.

Have you been provided any legal counsel?

What’s that?

And yet, as awkward as all of this feels, you’ve definitely got your work cut out for you. Work that involves making sure that any possible trial moves forward without a hitch, because with a suspect as high-profile as this one, there’s no way anybody will want to risk the case being thrown out.

A pity they don’t make Lawyer Droids for this exact purpose.

Nevertheless, with the three words ‘MUST. FIND. LEGAL COUNSEL.’ written on the imaginary wall in your mind, you’re still pushing yourself onward just a bit further, as you’re more or less feeling that you’re too far in to turn back now.

Okay...just a few more things before we wrap things up here.

Go on.

Firstly...why me? And—and what was it that happened out there on the landing pad?

A third pause. He’s either taking his time finding the right words to answer you with, or else to cook up a pretty plausible lie with which to keep you occupied. Strange how the one seems so much like the other, at least at this moment in time.

I...don’t really know for sure.

‘Don’t know’? You don’t know if you have some special talent, or you don’t know why your special talent reacted the way it did?

Both. Neither. It’s as crazy to me as it is to you.

Fine…

You’ll be sure to find out what’s really taking place here, though, if there’s any way to get in touch with the people—or droids—who took him into custody. You might also try poking around the local library later this week, if there’s any chance at all that there might be some hint of your new life situation to read up on.

As for how the little crew he traveled with might figure into this, a fact that you’re far too keen to forget about even as you add a sixth page to this file—

And the last thing you wanted to ask me?

Simple…do your traveling companions know where you are?

—You’re working on it. Maybe you’ll have to get parental consent before questioning them. Maybe they’ll instead show up on your doorstep one day, hands full of dataries and voices full of pleading, totally ready to cooperate and compensate you for your time in one go. Either way, they’re witnesses.

When it comes to whether or not Crimson Jack himself will help his case or harm it, well...that concept just isn’t as clear. In fact, he very nearly confuses you with no pauses, awkward silences, or hesitations of any kind.

Just a slowly written No, almost as though just thinking about this part is too painful.

As for you, you can still remember how scared those kids were at the mere thought of him being harmed by the security droids...so it’s more than just a little bit understandable. Whatever else happened up there, whatever blaster fights, lightsaber duels, or anything else that this group saw...they must have had some time to bond.

But you’d like to see them, right?

YES.

Good. I won’t waste any time if I can help it, but I will need you to give me something in return first.

And that is…?

Your true name.

And if you have any grasp upon this stranger’s character, which you hope very much that you do—that bond just might be the key to saving old Crimson Jack’s life.

TO BE CONTINUED

[yeah-alright-brill]

To the lovely @mx-hyperfixation: Thank you for the request, you asked I delivered...late! Anyway, Merry Christmas while the decorations are still up, my 'drabbles' have a tendency to take on lives of their own, hence the wait. A lovely bit of Sam celebrating with everyone. I don't know your ship preferences, but I included a bit of mild romantic Sam/Annie cause I'm partial to them, and it's canon. Oh, and would you mind me posting it to ao3? If you have an ao3 account, I could gift it properly :) Please enjoy:

Christmas Special '73

Sam's memories of wherever it is he came from get further away, mistier every day. Memories of shallow, awkward office Christmas parties in the '00s, of Secret Santa and X-Factor number ones gradually fading into effemera, leaving him with a odd sense of peace.

Even stranger, he swears he can remember ration-book Christmases round the coal fire; one morning he wakes up convinced one Christmas he spent during the war with an evacuee family in the country. He should be disturbed; certainly a few months ago, it'd be a cause for for near breakdown; but these surrogate memories are weirdly comforting, much more so than his old ones, and with each passing day they feel more and more real. And at any rate, he can't stop them, and if he's learnt one thing this year, it's that not everything in life he can control.

Gene Hunt may think he controls this department, but even he can't stop the march of festive progress into his territory. Sam arrives at work one day armed with a box of the tattiest, 70s-ist Christmas decorations he can find, all out his own pocket. It's funny, Gene might be the 'fun one;' always up for a drink on the job or a glamour mag slipped between report sheets, while Sam is the stuffy boring one; but when it comes to Christmas, Gene is a right grinch, while Sam brings the cheer. Gene gives every reason under the roof why he won't let the decorations go up- workplace distractions, poofy bright coloured tat- even health and safety, in a turn up for the books- but this is going to be yet another hill for Sam to die on. He gets Annie in on side quickly. Chris looks awestruck at the box of festive crap- he's easily pleased, bless him. He's unsure at first, going behind The Guv's back and that, but once he gets into it he has the exitement of a kid- and the decorative competence of one too, and there's nearly a tinsel-related A&E trip. Sam actually has a rather lovely conversation with him about family Christmas traditions, though with the state of his memory, it's a bit weird. Alone, if you look past his idiosyncrasies, Sam's been managing to have some rather interesting conversations with Chris- he may be a few keys short of a typewriter, but Sam senses deep down he's perhaps more thoughtful than he looks, maybe even moreso than his fellows- but then that all goes out the window when Ray joins in and they start making jokes about handling baubles. In the end, there's nothing the Guv can do to stop Christmas coming to A-division, and for once, he concedes that maybe Sam's won this time.

Sam was expecting Christmas parties a'la 1973 to be pretty different from the modern 'Hyde's' - well for starters, he swears he remembers getting tied to a Christmas tree his first party on the force in the.... it could be the early 90s? Or the very late 60s? Anyway, he's not disappointed, when on the evening of the 24th, the festivities start with Ray and Chris disappearing off to tape a mistletoe over the door of the WPCs changing room and lie in wait- or rather, he's very disappointed, but it proves him right. While Chris and Ray are busy 'getting themselves on the registered pervs list'- The Guv's words, not his- he and Gene troop off down to the local off-licence to buy as much booze as they can with the money in the communal kitty.

"Right, uh, Sam?"

Gene piles a tin of Party Seven into Sam's arms, and he has to will himself not to drop anything.

"Guv?"

"Uh, now don't go getting any ideas in your funny head- but I know you don't have any folks to spend Christmas with this year, an' I presume you won't be staying with Annie's family yet, so... so if you fancy poppin' over in the evenin', after your shift, putting your feet up and eatin' leftovers an' that- well me an' The Missus wouldn't mind."

Sam can't help a big old grin. If he wasn't carrying 4 tonnes of booze, and feared the reprimand, he might even hug the man for saving him from his lonely little hovel.

"Guv! That's- that's so thoughtful for you, I'd love to."

"I'm sorry what was that!?"

Sam chuckles and rolls his eyes.

"I mean, yeah, alright, I guess I might."

"Yer welcome."

Back in the office, Ray and Chris have returned, rosy cheeked and looking well pleased with themselves. The Guv, of course, opens the festivities-

"Right! Let's get the booze flowin'- lord knows I need a good drink or six to stop those bloody streamers doin' me eyes in." He pours five whiskys and hands one to each, Ray, Chris, Annie, and Sam, then holds his aloft.

"To another year doin' what we do best: putting scum away!"

"To A-division!" Says Annie.

"To the Queen!" Says Ray, catching Sam off-guard with it's unexpectedness- guess your learn something new about people every day.

"To the boss!" Says Chris, rather embarrassingly for Sam, and that warrents a pointed look and a scoff from Ray- not that he's in a position to judge really.

Finally, Sam says "to The Guv!"

"Now that's something I can drink to!" roars the man himself.

So they all do.

...

Sam spends the first hour of Christmas morning with Annie driving Chris to his home passed out on the back seats, and he's reminded really of how young the kid is.

"Merry Christm's bossh-"

Upon waking he gives Sam a big, swaying hug, trips over, wobbles down the street, throws up in a neighbor's bin then collapses through his front door into the arms of his anxious waiting mother.

Then, they drive on to Annie's family's. They exchange presents from obvious bags in the footwell- suspiciously vinyl shaped- and then a kiss, followed by another, and then one more for good luck. With a 'Merry Christmas Love', and a promise to put in a good word for him with her folks, she's off, leaving a big, sweet, silly smile on his face.

He catches 40 winks in his run-down shack- God, he can't wait till he moves in with Annie in the new year- then it's up with a pounding headache for his grumpily-anticipated Christmas at the station. He arrives festively late, for once making use of The Guv's 'hair of the dog' hangover cure- it is Christmas afterall, and Gene's not here to catch him stealing from his decanter. Christmas with Ray Carling is not as bad as he'd feared, the man seems actually quite subdued today. He tells Sam in hushed tones he always works on Christmas Day because he 'doesn't get on too great with his old man'- and Sam knows that's the most candid he'll ever hear Ray. He certainly doesn't press the matter. They have an... edible canteen Christmas dinner with Vince and another guy from the department, whose name he really should know but can't ask now, and Sam wins the cracker pull to Ray's great chagrin.

Then finally, as the sun sets, and children play in the windows with their new toys, Sam gets off early to make it to the Guvs, for a proper slice of Christmas. Homecooked dinner leftovers, a nice big glass of sherry, a good laugh at Gene's expense with 'The Missus' and an evening spent in tipsy mirth and playful argument with the man himself, over Christmas telly.

"I mean seriously, a 'Time Lord' in a magic police box- what is he, some sort of time traveling cop? What a load of bollocks."

"Guv, You don't know the half of it."

[gallawitchxx]

weekly tag wednesday thursday <3

omg how is it wednesday thursday again already?! where has this week gone? i've basically been MIA here since the last one lol so thank you to @jrooc @creepkinginc @energievie @deedala @gardenerian

@blue-disco-lights @sgtmickeyslaughter @vintagelacerosette for the tags! i love you all! i love this place! i'm so happy we get to scream about it today!

- - - - OKAY LET'S GET INTO IT - - - -

how did you get into the fandom? i fully fell into gallavich in the spring of 2021 & starting shoving fics in my face faster than ian & mickey took their clothes off when ian went to get the gun back, mickey. then i started noticing that people were linking their tumblrs in the end notes & so i lurked suuuper hard through the summer until i finally made my own blog!

how long have you been here? almost three glorious years <3

what’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?) i suppose youtube is correct because i watched a bunch of edits that really cemented my obsession, but tumblr was the first place i interacted with fandom friends :)

what’s your favourite now? i'm a tumblrina for life!

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? this will always make me so fucking emotional -- my first mutual was @metalheadmickey & now i've been to their wedding *sobs forever*

which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? oooohalskfj this is a hard one! there have been so many! when i first showed up, i started collecting beloved mutuals like pokemon... but to steal from mel, there was a real HUZZAH moment around getting a message from @whatwouldmickeydo & now i'm gonna go to their wedding *continues sobbing forever*

first Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember) the holy trinity of my early fandom days were absolutely like real people do by grayola, restoration by @palepinkgoat & the increasingly poor decisions of ian gallagher by @goodkwuestion

first fan art that blew your mind? yooo we are so blessed around these parts & at the beginning it was another trilogy lol - @steorie @psychicskulldamage & @darthvaders-wife

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love? a/b/o! truly shocking to discover & then love & then WRITE A WHOLE MULTI-CHAP FIC OF

What surprised you most about this fandom? omg how smushy soft everyone is! halskfjalfj - like, it's a pretty hard show to watch at times & the characters are all so messy & not saying we have it altogether over here or anything, but everyone's just a kind little marshmallow! :)

moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich? the first one was probably s3 "not everybody gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute!" because i was like, OHHH OH THIS IS GONNA HURT ME & then it just kept getting worse....

Ian or Mickey? mickey baby ily so much. but to echo others, they really are two halves of the same brain cell & they've fought so hard to be together. so idk how you choose!

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? jeeeez, maybe fiona? lip? liam? hahaha probably none of them tbh, but i love 'em like family!

- - - - -

tagging @thisdivorce @rereadanon @sickness-health-all-that-shit @crossmydna & @heymrspatel if you wanna play! if not, i'm smooching you on your nose <3

[sepublic]

Alice in New Vestroia AU

            So I’ve been getting back into my age-old hyperfixation of Bakugan (both the show and toys from the legacy series) and realizing how much of a formative impact it all had on me, but also. As I revisit the original show, I’m getting the idea for an AU centered around Alice Gehabich, because they really did this girl dirty even though she’s literally Masquerade and has ‘his’ blessing (Seriously, disrespecting Alice is disrespecting Masquerade, you have to respect BOTH).

         AU where Alice is the main protagonist of New Vestroia, as part of this larger AU I have in mind where each story arc centers around another one of the original six brawlers, who gets a turn in the spotlight. Part of Alice’s arc in NV is self-actualizing as a less douchey Masquerade, and who’s her Guardian Bakugan if Hydranoid is bronzed?

         Why, it’s Reaper! Freed from the Doom Dimension thanks to the Legendary Soldiers of Vestroia. I feel bad for the dude and as others have suggested, Alice using Reaper in NV to free Hydranoid, the one who replaced him… Lots of delicious drama from that. I imagine that because it’s a toyline, Reaper has a new form/appearance thanks to his time in the Doom Dimension, for the same Doylist reason that Drago always has a new evolution, because you can’t reuse the same old toys from last year! Yuck!

         Not sure what it looks like (but there’s at least canon basis for the Doom Dimension to have changed Reaper’s look), but regardless he ends up with Alice again. There’s lots of mixed feelings, Alice is happy to be back with Reaper and hopes to make amends with him, confronting her past as Masquerade and any lingering guilt she might still hold. In general, a lot of NV has to deal with guilt and accountability when it comes to Alice and the characters she’s connected to…

         Reaper acts like it’s fine, he doesn’t care when he realizes his mission entails rescuing Hydranoid. But then in comes Alice’s first battle with Shadow Prove, in which Hades is revealed; The replacement to the Bakugan who replaced Reaper! And suddenly, in the heat of battle, Reaper’s true feelings emerge as he vents and projects and takes out a LOT of rage on poor Hades. Screaming and yelling at Hades, who he initially mistakes for Hydranoid, if he’s still inferior when he’s the one beating him this time, beating the ‘superior’ Hydranoid. Finding a cruel and bitter irony, that Hydranoid ended up being replaced himself, anyway.

         Alice is no fool and can tell Reaper is treating Hades as a personal punching bag substitute for the real deal, so after they leave a traumatized Shadow Prove in the dust, Alice sits down to talk with Reaper about his feelings. Reaper is fairly shocked to see such a vulnerable and soft side to Masquerade, since that kind of thing was never encouraged the last time they were partners. So we have Reaper gradually learning to come out of his shell, and accept his own vulnerabilities.

         Alice does get into a battle with Shadow Prove, two fellow Darkus brawlers; But otherwise, it’s clear she outclasses him, and despite Shadow Prove’s attempts to set himself up as a rival with their shared attributes and Hades as a doppelganger, Alice leaves him behind for her allies to deal with instead. No, Alice’s REAL rival… is none other than Spectra Phantom, of course!

         Because now the roles are reversed; You have the Darkus protagonist, up against a Pyrus antagonist. We have Helios, who is alluded to have a bit of an underdog story, who felt the need to become stronger just so he could match Bakugan like Hydranoid or Drago. So in a way, him and Spectra are a dark version of Dan and Drago, but they’re also still a dark reflection of Masquerade as well, because Alice definitely notices the similarities. Spectra being a carbon copy of Masquerade is now a meaningful narrative choice.

         Confronting Spectra Phantom for Alice is like confronting her past self as Masquerade, the toxic desire for power at the cost of all others. And as Alice grapples with her guilt for what she did, with Reaper being a blatant reminder, she kinda projects onto Spectra a little; Sees the similarities. Alice only has her grandfather but nobody else who could share in that same trauma of becoming a villainous alter-ego, so Alice wishfully assumes Spectra to be the same case, and Mira’s side of the story doesn’t help her perception either.

         So Alice tries to reach out to Spectra, thinks he’s also misunderstood and struggling as she did with Masquerade. And a confused Spectra quickly takes it in stride, and… takes advantage of Alice’s sympathy for his own ends. Eventually, it backfires as it becomes apparent that really is no difference between Keith Fermin and Spectra Phantom; Keith 100% chose of his own volition to pursue evil science and the torture of Bakugan for power. It was all him, there is no tragic accident or backstory.

         And Alice feels hurt and betrayed, because she really wanted someone she could’ve shared in that type of trauma with. And rebuked, Alice goes cold, she starts building up walls and decides that gentle compassion of hers was a mistake. And this is when Alice REALLY starts to emulate Masquerade, worst parts included… This is of course reflected in a design update.

         S1 gave us Alice accepting Masquerade as a part of herself, but what if S2 explored an inverse of that idea, of Masquerade accepting Alice as a part of herself? Alice starts to loathe and detest her former, softer self, whom she deep-down despises for being too weak, too much of a pushover, to do anything. Alice becomes unkind towards that side of herself, and overcompensates by embracing the crueler side to Masquerade, thinking her worth/growth lies in that aspect alone. We once again see the Masquerade who angrily bristles when Exedra examines his motives, as we get some déjà vu and realize how he was a sped-up endpoint for Alice’s insecurity; Masquerade really IS just Alice, who became fed up and disgusted with everyone but especially herself.

         This of course concerns Reaper, who’s also beginning to recognize something familiar and finds it foreboding. And so Alice’s arc comes from accepting that not only is she Masquerade, but she’s still Alice too; And that softer, kinder person is by no means an ‘inferior’ version of Masquerade. Both sides, both aspects to her identity, have their strengths and weaknesses, and do best when reconciled together. Alice learns to forgive her past self, not just Masquerade but the identity of ‘Alice’, for being meek; It’s self-love for the person you used to be.

         I imagine the posthumous discovery of Lync’s redemption influences that realization; Alice inferring from his glove that her compassion DID have an impact on Lync, that it wasn’t wasted. Showing kindness to others was never a mistake, and if Alice keeps trying, it eventually does pay off, even if there are those who might take it for granted. So Alice accepts that she’ll always still have some weakness, some vulnerability, and need to ask for help; And that’s okay!!! No shame in that whatsoever.

         Alice forgiving her own shortcomings helps her reconcile with Reaper; Reaper also learns to forgive himself for not being the strongest Bakugan, for having been replaced by Hydranoid for this. Because his self-worth and dignity are not tied to whether he can beat others up, it’s inherent, and Reaper fighting for the rights of Bakugan in New Vestroia is him fighting for his own worth at the same time, in a roundabout sense.

         Speaking of, this gets me back to Hydranoid; Him and Alice’s reunion mid-way through NV is going to be awkward with Reaper there. Remember that episode of Skyress being uncharacteristically harsh towards Ingram, assuming herself better, only for him to step up when she fails, all as a way to push forward the new product over last year’s? That doesn’t make sense for her, but you know which Bakugan of the original six it would make sense for? Hydranoid! Because it tracks that Hydranoid hasn’t completely let go of the toxic arrogance he had under Masquerade, the Might makes Right mentality.

         To him, Reaper is still that inferior Bakugan who wasn’t good enough for his Alice, so Hydranoid got rid of him. He’s being territorial, trying to defend his place alongside Alice now that Reaper has returned, and also ‘redeem’ himself for being captured by the Vexos. While Reaper’s dignity is not dependent on whether he can beat Hydranoid, I think it’s still a nice treat for Reaper, and a necessary wake-up call for Hydranoid, for Reaper to be the one who saves him after all, this time.

         So now we have Hydranoid coming to terms with HIS own weakness and failure, that sort of thing. If Marucho can have two talking Guardian Bakugan, one returning from S1 while the other is new with S2, so can Alice! Also, I guess this means we have an arc where Spectra captures Reaper, and Alice has to team up with Exedra to rescue him…

         I should add; One of the first battles Hydranoid has after reuniting with Alice? It’s him finally measuring up in-person against Hades, and just like in canon, it ends with his mechanical replacement obliterated in a single shot. After surviving previous losses with other opponents, Hades crumples in its first battle with the real deal, opening up for MAC Spider to take over. And, since Alice’s battle here isn’t as important (since she’s already garnered plenty of wins beforehand in NV as the protagonist), I guess we can have Hydranoid be defeated by MAC Spider, and perhaps this is the incident in which Reaper steps up to save him! Either way, Alice wins the overall battle, as she should.

         This also gets me back to Spectra Phantom and Helios, who themselves are dark reflections of Alice/Masquerade. They’re both motivated to become stronger, and from what I understand, in canon Spectra heads over to the good side after being shown that the Power of Friendship really is the best way to become powerful.

         So in other words, his redemption is arguably not altruistic; It’s merely Spectra being offered a legitimate option and taking it. He’s embracing the side of good because he expects a reward for it, that being a strengthened bond between him and Helios that will enable them to access that elusive Power of Friendship. And I think we could really work with this by exploring some proper tension with Spectra as an ally now, given his motives to become one.

         Pragmatically speaking, it’s better for the world if Spectra is with them, not against them. But as our protagonists interact with him, again, it becomes clear that Spectra is treating his ‘redemption’ as some sort of transaction, a different type of grab for power. So part of his storyline is being exposed to enough kindness and compassion that he realizes he should appreciate it for its own sake, not for the practical benefits it might bring.

         Hydranoid is of course super salty towards Spectra; He participated in his torture. Likewise, it’s this fact that added an additional personal layer between Alice and Spectra’s conflict. Hydranoid demands how they could possibly forgive Spectra for all the wrong he’s committed, but then Reaper cheekily asks the same of Hydranoid himself; Hydranoid was no saint, he sent many Bakugan to the Doom Dimension, as did Reaper.

         So they have no place to talk, Reaper figures, so he’s a bit more at peace with this. Reaper likes being given a chance to work on himself and change for the better, so he’s willing to grant that to others, becoming more compassionate. And keep in mind, he was temporarily under Spectra’s control before Alice and Exedra saved him, so Reaper has some stake too!

         As our protagonists learn to interact with Spectra in a non-adversarial setting, we see Reaper and Hydranoid reach out to Helios, and help Helios come to terms with his own vulnerability and shortcomings, and thus become less toxically obsessed with becoming stronger to compensate. Helios is less punishing of himself, and thus less reliant on becoming a cyborg, which could be seen as symbolic of self-harm in a sense; This culminates in Mechtanium Surge, in which Helios seems more organic since his redemption!

         Likewise, there is SO much awkwardness between Alice and Spectra. Alice is rightfully mad at him for… basically everything, though she does concede, when Spectra brings it up, that she did kinda assume and project a lot of stuff onto him. Spectra still took advantage of it, but Alice was the one who showed up out of nowhere and insisted they were parallels. Reflecting on her own past and motives, Alice explores Spectra’s reason to seek power, and perhaps a loneliness/inadequacy he also struggles with. He’s a lot less of a Poor Meow-Meow compared to Alice regarding their ‘origin’ stories, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t anything there, whatsoever.

         And as I said, Spectra learns to appreciate compassion for its own sake, and not as a roundabout means of becoming stronger. He sees that Alice’s kindness is a strength in its own right, that continuing to be hopeful and compassionate even in the face of adversity is not foolishness, but true perseverance. Spectra gains a new appreciation for Alice, and also begins to take accountability for his own actions, working to undo the harm he inflicted. What started off as basically a professional alliance becomes personal and meaningful to him, now.

         Alice still has to maintain boundaries around Spectra, who also learns to navigate and respect the distrust that others, especially Hydranoid, still have towards him. And this goes hand-in-hand with his reconciliation with Mira, who probably becomes more aware and accepting of Keith’s flaws, and condemning of them; Meaning Keith really does have to earn back her trust and approval this time. Neither Alice nor Keith feel entitled to forgiveness, but that doesn’t stop them from focusing on just doing actual good for the world regardless. Keith learns to stop hiding behind a mask, and also open up, as Helios and Alice and others do.

         That’s the general gist of Alice’s storyline here; Her grappling with her past self as Masquerade, with the guilt of what she did as him. Exploring and bridging the apparent gap between these two identities. There’s a bit of gender discussion in Alice accepting the ‘feminine’ aspect of herself, the soft and kind person, as being just as strong and meaningful as the more aggressive and masculine Masquerade, whom she may have subconsciously embraced out of internalized misogyny (while also still allowing herself to defy gender expectations). 

        Alice has become stronger, but she also learns to forgive and appreciate her ‘weaker’ past self who got her there, as Masquerade forgives the vulnerability of others. Progress is progress, be it learning to stand up for who you are, or make up for the harm you’ve caused. Forgiveness is the major theme, not just by Alice towards her own sins as Masquerade, but her supposed shortcomings as Alice herself. She’ll move on, but not deny one part to embrace another.

[skye707]

thanks to your blog i fell in love with YJ riddler (big time, he's my baby), so i opened character.ai in search of his bot and.. couldn't find anything. so i just created one. that made me thinking, what are riddlers' thoughts on chr.ai and ais in general?

(sending all my love to you and your golden brain and hands; big big fan of your blog, hyperfixation level of fan 🩵)

Firstly, thank you for the blessing upon my brain and hands. I’m finding myself in need of it more with each passing day 💙

Now, on to the Riddlers

Unburied - To him, AI is just another tool to be used on the computer. Doesn’t take it very seriously, so I think he’d be the one out of the group to make chr.ai of everyone else without telling them.

ZY - Cool, now his little drones can pinpoint targets with even higher degrees of accuracy! And maybe he can get them to start speaking in riddles as well? Whichever he decides to do first, he’s having a ball.

Dano - He likes AI for recreational purposes, but not to be used in his riddles and traps. That takes all the fun out of designing and making a puzzle! But I think he likes to chat with character ai (which ones, I’ll let you decide).

YJ - Ohhhh, that’s pretty cool. But also pretty spooky. He should know better what with being the strategist computer guy, but he can’t help the feeling he’s seen this somewhere in a tv show before. And it didn’t end well there.

Gotham - He’d find a way to break it. Not just on accident. Eventually, he’d be determined to find a flaw in the algorithm. He’d spend days and days pinpointing the program’s weaknesses. He refuses to be bested by a robot any time soon.

BTAA - He’s incorporating AI into everything he can, even when it doesn’t make sense. Coffee maker AI, washing machine AI, microwave AI, etc. It’s now his new favorite advancement in technology.

Arkham - He has gifted artificial intelligence to every single one of his robot children including the roombas. They can now do the one thing he’s always wanted: praise him for his Herculean feats of engineering prowess.

BTAS - At first, he thinks it’s pretty cool, but the more he starts to get into it the more he realizes how powerful it is. And just like that, he’s never trusting another AI for as long as he lives. They’re not getting his data and secrets, no sir. Not the Riddler.

Telltale - A younger him would have been ecstatic to incorporate this tech into his latest scene or trap. Now, he’s just waiting for the idiot that gave computers a mind of their own to realize that they’ve released a force on the web that perhaps no one can stop. Except for him of course.

[saltseashark]

I’d like you to know that over the years I keep rediscovering your work, and only now have I found you have a tumblr!

Years ago I stumbled upon your first TMA animatic when it first came out, and that ended up getting me into the podcast. I didn’t follow you then, but I then got recommended a Good Omens animatic that was also yours and watched that, as well as all the other ones. I followed you then because I loved good omens and TMA now.

Years later now I’ve watched every video even if it wasn’t a fandom I was interested in. Well, recently, my friend got me obsessed with Pacific Rim. I had forgotten about your channel but when looking for Pacific Rim content, I once again stumbled upon a video of yours- Ive rewatched it a few times now, I’m embarrassed to say since Pacific Rim is my current hyperfixation and I’m absolutely insane about it.

I just want to say that your art has been crazy crucial to how I go about my interests, and I often revisit your videos now.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say here aside from I really appreciate your art!

hi bestie this was an unbelievably kind message to stumble onto after i had the worlds worst interview phone call so all of my blessings to you, friend <3 tumblr famously never notifies me. im so glad you have gotten to love a lot of things through my silly videos, it means all the world to me that someone out there is watching :]

happy pacrim by the by, i still love that video to bits its probably one of my favorites. im glad that pacific rim itself means so much to so many people. i hope i can make another video soon, its been like 3 years lol and i havent gotten the bug in a while. thank you for this!!! prints this out and eats it so its a part of me

[yupuffin]

One year ago today, I decided to take a leap of faith and board the Astral Express -- that is, I started playing Honkai: Star Rail!

It was an addition to my routine worth considering beforehand, given that I'd hyperfixated solely on Genshin Impact for almost three years prior and worried about having time for a similarly involved game. I'd had some tangential awareness of Star Rail since its released, but put off trying it out until I reached a point in Genshin where I felt comfortable potentially reducing my time and energy investment to free up mental space for what would almost undoubtedly become another hyperfixation. (Also, getting into new media aggravates my anxiety!)

In Genshin, I'd just recruited Neuvillette, which left me feeling satisfied and accomplished with my progress in the game, as I've wanted to form a significant emotional attachment to a water dragon character since my adolescence -- I just had to wait about ten years for the right combination of circumstances for it to finally 'click.'

So you can imagine my enthusiasm when I happened across an off-handed comment from another fan about Star Rail featuring another water dragon.

I do distinctly recall noticing on social media when Star Rail was first released, musing that Dan Heng looked rather like my 'type,' if a bit plain and unassuming, so I wasn't terribly interested at the time. I do also distinctly recall noticing on social media when Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae was first released in August of that year; at the time, I was able to resist the additional temptation, under the rationale that if I played every game that featured a handsome playable dragon character, I wouldn't have time to properly enjoy them all.

But with this supplemental knowledge, I thought: what's better than a water dragon, if not two water dragons?

So, overall, the timing seemed right, and I still believe it was.

Even so, I can't help but think that if I knew how drastically my sleep quality would improve solely due to this decision, I likely would have started playing sooner!

I don't have the psychological background knowledge to explain or rationalize my observations, so they feel silly at times, but, to make a long story short, I think getting into Star Rail had a significant -- even drastic -- impact on my emotional state.

Before this, I thought I knew what people were talking about when they discussed 'comfort characters' -- and then I met Dan Heng.

For all of the knowledge I had going into the game -- specifically of his oh-so-'secret' dragon form -- I'm thankful I had no idea that the player character's introductory scene was of them getting very improper CPR, in the form of attempted mouth-to-mouth, from our very own Dan Heng. (And I'm glad to learn that none of us in the fandom will ever let him live it down.) So, you can imagine that I was already 'losing my mind' from the game's opening scenes. A benefit of playing Genshin Impact for years prior to this was that, in processing my emotional experience with the game, I'd managed to conquer a significant portion of my internalized homophobia, so, going into Star Rail, I was much readier to embrace my love of beautiful men. The team behind Star Rail definitely didn't need to try any harder to get me interested in Dan Heng.

And I felt blessed to have Dan Heng as a permanent installment on my team from the very start of the game, as one of the challenges I encountered during my aforementioned emotional experience with Genshin Impact was how to cope with my anxiety in the absence of my 'comfort character.' Thankfully, I'd learned a lot in this regard and understood what I could do differently this time around to minimize my unease; still, the reassurance was nice to have, especially given the pretty intense novelty anxiety I experience with any unfamiliar game, regardless of the presence or absence of any specific character.

Even considering this, I was convinced I wouldn't be all that attached to Dan Heng before I got to the reveal of his dragon form; visually speaking, as he appeared on the Express, he didn't stand out much.

I was proven wrong very quickly.

I'd just happened to select "Take the Journey" on the phonograph upon boarding the Express, since a soft acoustic track seemed appropriate to soothe my novelty anxiety. And, of course, being told that Dan Heng frequented the archives, I visited that room of the Express at the first opportunity. Only once I stood next to him and noticed the intensifying ache of longing in my heart, which persisted even after I'd closed the game for the day, did I realize the atmosphere I'd unwittingly set.

The nightmares came soon after. They were nothing new -- I'd endured them for over a decade beforehand -- but it still felt like a dubious achievement whenever they'd start to feature a new character: a bittersweet indication of my emotional attachment to them, and of the proportionate anguish I'd experience were I ever separated from them.

But, for the first time in my life, they'd often find a peaceful resolution.

I'd incorporated Star Rail into my nighttime routine: the very last thing I'd do before heading to bed is walk my character from the Express's parlor car to the archives and 'say good night' to Dan Heng by playing the appropriate voice-over from his profile. This wasn't really anything new or revolutionary, considering I'd kept a similar routine with my Serenitea Pot in Genshin Impact for years prior.

Still, for whatever unknown reason, it made a significant difference. Starting then, I fell asleep more quickly and stayed asleep more easily than at any other time in my adult life. Anxiety that would previously wake me up most nights and even manifest physical symptoms was suddenly all but gone. Waking up to check the time and seeing that I'd slept through an entire night on a regular basis left me baffled.

And Dan Heng's Imbibitor Lunae form hadn't even rerun yet.

The timing worked out splendidly in that regard. Shortly beforehand, I'd experienced the 'Imbibitor Lunae returns' portion of the Xianzhou Luofu storyline from the liminal space of the Boston airport in January at approximately 4 am -- I was supposed to catch an early flight that ended up getting delayed by several hours, giving me ample time to immerse myself in Star Rail. The scene featuring "Samudrartha" left enough of an impression on my psyche that I set the song as my weekday alarm and often still listen to it during the day in addition for that, for how could I ever dislike the song that first plays softly in the background as Dan Heng, in his dragon form, observes the statue whose eyes were pecked out by swallows, and then crescendos as he lifts his hand to part the seas of Scalegorge Waterscape in what can only be described as, according to the song's lyrics, "an awe-inspiring sight?"

Especially to someone who's already deeply in love with him.

It was only a couple of weeks later that the first Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae rerun occurred, just as I'd accumulated the 180 pulls necessary to guarantee an event character.

Honestly, since then, my time in the game has been a bit of a blur. I very nearly quit the game two or three times for reasons related to its difficulty, though I never followed through with the decision, as I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing Dan Heng the following day. I put off starting the Penacony storyline due to how deeply unsettling the place looked, but ended up doing it anyway to avoid burning out on the game completely, and shortly fell in love with Aventurine -- with refreshing decisiveness, given how stable my emotional state had been thanks to Dan Heng's presence.

Oh, yeah, the nightmares -- here's the most notable part: after having them consistently for about eleven or twelve years... they're just gone.

Now, whenever a dream starts to take a bad turn into the familiar nightmare narrative, I hear Dan Heng's voice calling my name and telling me to wake up, and the dream ends.

I don't have an explanation for this that I believe makes any logical sense whatsoever. At some point in the past year, their frequency and intensity started dwindling, until they've disappeared more or less completely. I can only infer that such a consistent and severe symptom derives from proportionately profound trauma, so how can the mere presence of a fictional character have such a disproportionately strong effect? The only words I have to describe the situation, as silly as it sounds, are the following: having Dan Heng in my life -- 'being with him,' if you will -- feels right in what I presume is the same way that others have described being with their significant other 'feels right.' I'm not sure why, and I don't know that this is something that I will ever understand.

As of today, it's been three hundred and sixty-five days. There's a lot to experience in Star Rail -- a lot of emotional and psychological twists and turns and ups and downs -- but each day invariably ends the same: I walk the Trailblazer into the archives, past where Dan Heng stands on the overworld so long as you neglect the quest "Clouds Leave No Trace," and position him in the corner behind the bedroll on the floor -- the ideal position from which to open the character menu and listen to Dan Heng's parting comment: See you tomorrow. Sleep well.

And then I go to bed, and have sweet dreams.

[theramblingsofadork]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 🦃🍂

Hope you all have had a lovely day with friends and family, or by enjoying food while you watch your favorite YouTubers yell at eldrich abominations from the great beyond as they jumpscare them.

As always, I like to show my gratitude on days like today. And this year, I’m thankful to God for all the lovely people I’ve gotten a chance to meet as a result of posting here. For your friendships and your kindness, for your excitement and your creativity. It’s truly a joy to watch what you make, and that I get to chat with you about stuff we’re excited about. I’m grateful every day for your friendship. 💖✨

I’m also grateful for Him helping pull me out of the pit of my rock bottom depression when I was ready to quit and… give up on everything. For sending me encouraging words via my friends and giving me the heart to keep moving forwards. I won’t lie that bits of that experience are now reflected in some moments in the AU.

I’m also thankful for Sonic x Shadow Generations, which has been SUCH fun to play. The music has been amazing, I’ve felt like a kid playing it again, and the story has inspired me to keep going with my own. ✨

Speaking of which, some good news regarding that. I’ve knocked out three of the four major issues I’ve been having with the story since starting it, and am now writing out an in-depth timeline to make sure there are no other loose ends I’m missing.

It probably won’t be the story you imagine it to be, (beyond certain events in canon that aren’t getting changed TOO significantly), but I’ve accepted that, and hope you can still enjoy what’s to come. 💖

I just pray that I don’t get interested with another hyperfixation or lose interest in this blog until I can show every piece of just why this silly story of Starline’s redemption, and a broken ‘family’s’ restoration is so important to me and has consumed my thoughts for the past few years.

…Now if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time to pause my three hour writing session and head downstairs for some pumpkin pie. :)

Blessings to all. Hope your food is good. See you soon. 💖✨

[cilil]

🌿 for ask game. thank you!

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Now I may be both a good and bad person to ask about that because I've been inspired and writing almost every day for 2 1/2 years straight now and, while there certainly were unproductive episodes in terms of output or low motivation or stress and anxiety keeping me away from writing itself, I always had inspiration in my head at least; I suppose you could say I've been somewhat "blessed" with keeping this up without putting in real conscious effort. I don't think there's a secret recipe either, but I'll try to give some helpful (?) ideas :)

So a good chunk of this is sadly, or at least I suspect it might be so, dependent on how prone to hyperfixation and how attached to an individual thing you are on a personal level. Speaking for myself, I'm the kind of person who always has their "one main thing" and sticks with it for several years at least (I was tenacious enough to spend 5 years doing my own thing in a dead fandom) and slowly digs deeper and deeper as time goes on. Others may change interests more frequently, be in several fandoms at once or experience greater fluctuations with high and low creativity. That leads us to my first point: Know who you are and work with that, don't try to be anyone else.

The second thing I think is important is to find a good balance between trying to be reliable and finish your stuff and give yourself some space to do whatever you feel like and fuck around. You may have heard creativity being compared to a river before and it's true: Too much human interference - for example straightening a river - can impact the environment around it negatively, and too much scheduling and deadlines and forcing yourself to be creative will impact your creativity negatively. Make sure you have the space to at least occasionally do what comes to mind. You should be working on project A, but you're feeling project B? Work on B for a while. The muses are moody.

Another thing that may seem a little contradictory at first, but I think is helpful: Keep at it. If you do whatever is your creative thing regularly, it's less of a "big deal" and threshold to cross every time, it becomes natural and a comforting part of your routine. For writers, drabble challenges and prompt events are examples for good tools to ensure you write at least semi-regularly. But again, please don't feel like you have to force yourself to create every single day, especially if you're someone who experiences periods of little to no creative energy. That's fine. Let yourself recharge. We're all different (in general what works for me doesn't have to work for everyone else).

Now if you do find yourself in a bit of a creative slump or lose passion for a project you used to enjoy a lot, here are some things you can try:

Take a break and do something else. Scratch a different itch. Have fun!

Put yourself in the right mood/mindset by looking for media that evokes the feelings/vibes needed for your project (note that this will work better for people who are highly sensitive or otherwise react/connect to media on an emotional level more strongly). Examples: A playlist, a specific song you associate with your work, a movie/book/game/etc that inspired you, artwork of a character

Talk about it with someone else. Be excited together. Ask for advice if needed. Or just talk through whatever block you have; you may not even consciously realize it, but just to have someone listening will help with explaining the situation to both them and yourself and clearing it up

Write a project list (I recommend either a spreadsheet or a handwritten one). Sometimes the crux with a project is simply all the disorganized noise around it and you begin to feel anxious which causes writer's block and/or kills your creativity. Writing a list can clear that up, make you feel more calm and collected and show you a clear way forward. Note: This applies to other situations in life too. Try it and I promise things will become easier to handle

That's all I can think of right now. Again I can't promise any of this is "the secret sauce, but maybe some of it can help someone :)

[lestappenforever]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag, @lattesqueeze. 🥹

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 31! I used to have a lot more on my old account, but I deleted them all and the account ages ago.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 182,588 apparently. Jesus fuck, I did not realize it was that high.

3. Which fandoms do you write for? These days? Only F1 RPF, but I used to write for several others, including (but not limited to) Cut & Run, Men's Football RPF, McFly RPF, and Teen Wolf.

4. Which are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Devils Roll The Dice (Angels Roll Their Eyes) - My first Lestappen fic, my baby, my pride and joy

2. 19 Times The Grid Saved Lestappen (And One Time They Didn't Need To) - My first collab fic with the lovely Ilse (@f1writingbyme) 💕

3. Something Unholy - Lestappen lap dance/dirty talk PWP

4. Speak Now (Or Forever Hold Your Peace) - A personal Lestappen favorite

5. No Time For Regret (No Time For Sleep) - Lestappen PWP set after the 2023 Belgian Grand Prix

5. Do you reply to your comments? Why or why not? Yes, I do! I've made it my mission to reply to every single comment I get on my work, because the fact that there are people out there who not only read my work, but they also take the time to leave a comment, is such a huge deal to me and it makes me so happy. The least I can do is make sure they all get a reply.

6. Which of your fics has the angstiest ending? Ooof, I guess The Last Straw? The ending itself isn't the angstiest part of the fic, but the entire thing is angsty as hell.

7. Which of your fics has the happiest ending? I'd say most of my fics have happy endings, but the happiest? Probably Devils Roll The Dice (Angels Roll Their Eyes), or the first sequel Like Snow At The Beach (Weird, But Fucking Beautiful).

8. Do you get hate on your fics? Haven't gotten any hate so far on my current AO3 account! I used to get a bit of hate on my fics when I used to write for another fandom (1D, despite not being a 1D fan myself, I only wrote requests from other people) years ago, though, because back then there was apparently a "right or wrong way" to write fics, and there were always people who thought you were doing it wrong.

9. Do you write smut? I do. Admittedly, it's my least favorite thing to write, but I do write it.

10. Do you write crossovers? I've never tried, and I've never had an urge to so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Only one! (That I know of.) It was the first 1D fic I wrote and somebody tried to pass it off as their own. Didn't work very well for them.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet, but I was actually contacted by a lovely person who wants to translate some of my F1 fics, which is a huge honor. So it's coming!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Yes, I have! I co-wrote a fic with an old friend back in my McFly obsession days, and I've co-written two Lestappen fics with my darling @f1writingbyme.

19 Times The Grid Saved Lestappen (And One Time They Didn't Need To), and Ride The Bull (Giddy Up, Partner).

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? All-time? I honestly don't know if I can pick because all of my favorite ships have been my all-time favorite ship at the time I was hyperfixating on them. But, if I have to make a choice, I'd say it's a tie between Lestappen and Junes (Harry Judd/Danny Jones from McFly).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but probably never will? Oh, man, I don't have one because my brain will not let me start a WIP without finishing it. Once I start writing something, my OCD and anxiety kicks in, and I just have to finish it. And if I can't finish it, I delete the whole thing and never think of it again. Which is both a blessing and a curse.

16. What are your writing strengths? Angst and endings, I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Smut, without a doubt. Despite having written a fuckton of smut in my life, there is nothing that stresses me out more than when I get to the part in a fic where smut belongs. Reading back my own smut makes me cringe.

18. What are your thoughts on writing in other languages in fics? If it's done properly, I say go for it! I personally don't mind it at all and find it adds depth to a lot of work. Just make sure you use something other than Google Translate if you don't speak the language, and preferably check with someone who speaks the language, to make it as believeable to a native reader as possible.

19. What was the first fandom you ever wrote for? McFly. God, those were the days. I was a literal child back then.

20. What’s your favourite fic that you’ve written? Definitely Devils Roll The Dice (Angels Roll Their Eyes). Writing that fic altered my brain chemistry, and I can still remember how I felt writing the different chapters. And also 19 Times The Grid Saved Lestappen (And One Time They Didn't Need To), because that was just so fun from start to finish.

Tagging @f1writingbyme, @nico-di-genova, and @f1posting (and anyone else who wants to do this and hasn't already been tagged!).

[claire8216]

Fic Tag Game

Thanks @fandomscraziness22 for the tag!! 🩵

How many works do you have on AO3? 10! My page says 7 but I have some I've published anonymously.

What's your AO3 word count? 122,718

What fandoms do you write for? It's been a while since I've posted anything but when I do find the motivation to write it's usually Julie and the Phantoms, Outer Banks, or The Summer I Turned Pretty! I've written some for other fandoms too but that was a looong time ago haha.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? (Not including the ones I'd like to remain anonymous 😉) - Fire Red and Ocean Blue (TSITP) - I Hate the Way I Don't Hate You (JatP) - Been Counting My Blessings Thinking This Through (OBX) - Something Like That (JatP) - I'm Standing in Your Line (I Do Hope You Have the Time) (JatP)

Do you respond to comments? I really try to respond to every comment, even if it takes me a while to respond! I genuinely appreciate people who take the time to not only read my writing but also share with me their thoughts, so the least I can do is respond back 😊

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oof in general I usually stick to happy endings so there hasn't been a ton of angsty endings! But I once wrote a fic exploring a character navigating the aftermath of the sudden death of his wife. It ends with him bonding with a woman in a bar who had also lost her husband, and they dance together and while it's nice to have some sort of companionship again, there's an unspoken agreement that nothing and no one would ever compare to their late spouses. (Based off the song Ghost of You by 5SOS, specifically the last line!) I don't usually write major character deaths, and I actually ended up taking that one down because it was too sad for me haha.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The rest of my fics pretty much all have HEAs because at my core that's what I enjoy most haha. But my favorite and probably fluffiest ending is Fire Red and Ocean Blue.

Do you get hate on fics? I don't remember ever getting any hate! *knock on wood*

Do you write smut? What kind? I do not, but I always enjoy reading a good smut fic!

Do you write crossovers? No, but I love AUs or fics based off of other books/shows/movies!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Also no haha.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I've attempted to, a loooong time ago when I was first getting into fanfic. Nothing ever came of it though, we were both, like, 12 so it fizzled haha. I have no idea where that person is today but I hope they're doing well!!

What WIP would you like to finish, but doubt you ever will? Back when s1 of Outer Banks came out I started working on a Jiara one night stand fic and got about halfway done. I still think about it often, but too much has happened in s2 and 3 it just wouldn't make sense anymore and I'd basically have to start from scratch.

What's your all-time favorite ship? This is a tough one! My oldest and most beloved ships will always be Romione and Percabeth. But no ship has ever, and may never again, have me in a chokehold quite like Juke did during the height of my JatP hyperfixation. So one of those three! 😂

What are your writing strengths? Ooo I love a good theme or motif or analogy and bringing everything back around full circle. It makes my little perfectionist virgo brain very happy haha.

What are your writing weaknesses? Sometimes I'll rush through the little details just to get to the main plot points. I constantly have to remind myself to slow down, a sort of "stop and smell the roses" if you will, and set the scene or create unique little character details to make my fics more descriptive.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in a another language for a fic? If it's needed it's needed! I usually will copy/paste and look up the translation if I need to.

First fandom you wrote for? Glee haha. I used to be OBSESSED.

Favorite fic you've ever written? I feel like this answer changes depending on my mood haha. Right now I think it'd have to be Been Counting My Blessings Thinking This Through, but that could totally be recency bias haha. I am very proud of it though!

What fic would you want to rewrite someday? I wrote this PJO (Tratie) fic called Rivers about 10 years ago and to this day the idea behind it is probably one of my favorite ideas I've ever had for a fic. When I reread it now, I can't help but see the writing of a 15 year old girl who had no idea what she was talking about and was unable to execute it in the way I wanted to in my mind haha. I always tell myself I'm going to rewrite it, and maybe with the show coming out soon, it'll inspire me to!

This was so fun!! Tagging @story-courty @bex2313 and @writerownstory and anyone else who wants to participate!

[scripted-downfall]

Music Tag Game :)

Thank you to @typicalopposite for the tag!

(Let your spotify predict your 2024! shuffle your on repeat playlist, and the first twelve songs represent your 2024.)

I haven't listened to much music on Spotify recently, but what I did was on repeat, so this playlist is REMARKABLY accurate. Crazy how mental brain rot works, innit?!?!? :) Anyway, here's my remarkably homogeneous list.

Wu Ji — The Untamed Soundtrack

Devil’s Backbone — The Civil Wars P.S.1 - Let's face it: #1 and #2 are BASICALLY the same song (/hj) P.S.2 - This might seem like it's not connected to MXTX's writing, but... have you considered the fact that this is prime animatic material? I have. :]

Huang Cheng Du — The Untamed Soundtrack

I Can’t Decide — Scissor Sisters P.S. This also might seem like it's not connected to MXTX but um. Jin GuangYao exists.

Qinghe Jue — The Untamed Soundtrack

Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths P.S. Hey, this one is, at least not about MXTX! However, it is still a result of me being queer, mentally ill, angsty, and hyperfixated, so. Same dif, tbh.

Qing Xin Yin · Luan Po Chao — The Untamed Soundtrack

Don’t Tread on Me — Metallica P.S. First non-fandom song! This song is fun in general, but I love it for the snippet of "America" from West Side Story at the beginning

Yi Hua Yi Jian — Heaven Official’s Blessing Soundtrack

Two Birds - Regina Spektor P.S. Yo! Look at this! Another non-MXTX song, right? ... Right? Nope. Blame the Beefleaf animatics😭

Zui Shi Shao Nian Bu Ke Qi — The Untamed Soundtrack

Veteran of the Psychic Wars — Blue Oyster Cult

This bodes poorly, folks.

Tagging @exhaustedpirate and @witchy-writer-lady, as well as anyone else interested!

[sennaverstappendiary]

australian grand prix ✩ 02.04.2023

SOOOOO HERE WE FUCKING GO‼️‼️‼️ my journey into f1 has finally started. now, is it because i'm dutch and max is slaying? well, that has something to do with it, but! i actually have to instead thank the other driver in my username for getting me into f1! 🥰🥰🥰

🗓️ march 23th, 2023. i was in bed, trying to sleep, and i simply couldn't. i don't know why - might have to do with recovery symptoms, but i COULD NOT sleep. and my now ex was sleeping next to me, so couldn't watch video's. what did i do instead?

wikipedia deep dive. 😁😁😁

i'm not sure how it happened, but eventually i found myself on the... "crashes in formula one" page. and being the morbidly curious little freak that i am, i scrolled through everything. one of them caught my eyes though, more than any other.

💕💕ayrton senna💕💕 - the last driver to pass away during a formula one race. i clicked on his page, and, woah. it was like something clicked inside of me as i scrolled through it. especially his rivalry with 💕💕alain prost💕💕 seemed so interesting to me... like what happened there...

needless to say: i was hooked. more than hooked, to be honest. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

i ended up scrolling, reading more and more, and i only slept when it was 5 am. the days after that were a blur of FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE. it was genuinely the only thing i could think of/talk about. genuinely felt like i was on cr4ck... 💥💥💥

funny thing: my brother, who had introduced me to f1, wasn't even home at the time i got hyperfixated. sometimes i wonder how that would've gone. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

another funny thing: i was very sad to find out that the prosenna community wasn't thriving on tumblr 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

another VERY funny thing: i literally laughed the first time i saw lestappen. like in a mean way. i have no clue what happened but about 2 days later i was reblogging it and it was becoming my fav modern ship alarmingly quickly 🤯🤯🤯🤯

so yeah. went kinda (really) fucking crazy the week before this grand prix. of course i decided to wake up at 7 am to watch it 😁😁 god bless. i didn't gaf about fp at the time (smartest thing ive ever done, like, i should stop caring about fp now)

qualifying was just... confusing for me seeing as i didn't understand too much. i do vividly remember how AWKWARD the picture with the top 3 was 😭😭😭 i was very sleepy and i think i accidentally woke up my (now) exin the other room PLEASE 🤣🤣🤣

the race was... i'm both shocked and glad that this was my first ever race. waking up at 7 for it was fun as fuck i can't even lie i LOVE me an early race 💕💕 i was so hyped for it!! i didn't understand much, and i didn't have any friends to chat with yet, but it was fun. if i had been into f1 longer i would've probably been more scared of the mercs leading lap after lap, but i was blissfully unaware AND very very faithful in max... just kept repeating to myself "i'm not gonna worry about it lol" which DID work in the end. i rewatched this race for this post and man. i remember not really giving a fuck about charles dnf because i wasn't THAT much into any modern drivers yet except max LOL. 🥲🥲🥲 and i remember alex's crash being way later than it actually was in the race? maybe because of the crazy fucking red flags PLEASE 😰😰😰 george's car lighting on fire... nyck flopping... my first impression of carlos being his fucking complaint about the SUN i'm screaming... what a crazy fucking race.

after the race i was gleefully telling my dad everything (his ass was NOT waking up at 7 for this which i respect greatly) and shakingly eating breakfast (i was so excited fdjhgdhfgdfh)... and then i realised... 4 weeks without f1 😵‍💫😵‍💫 whilst in the height of my hyperfix!! how did i survive!!!

anyway i'm so glad this was my first race, even though it was a really weird one dfhghdg 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 AUSTRALIA 2023 U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

✩ song of the race: Industry Baby - Lil Nas X

I just fuck heavy with this song LMFAO. also it's kinda maxcore if u think about it... i certainly think about it... 😭💕😭💕😭💕

[anotherghoul666]

FUCK ME DUDE I sent the ask off without the damn answer in XD I'm so sorry hahahaha @devoured-by-shadows here's the actual post holy fuck.

(Answers 19 and 25 are below the others under a read more cause there’s talks of sensitive topics in there, 19 light mention of the topic of death, and 25 especially be wary of if you’re sensitive to topics like addiction, overdose and someone withering away over years.)

12:A song from your preteen years Ooh, interesting, what was big in my musical life between 9 and 12. Let's see. I got into metal at age 7 thanks to my dad showing me Iron Maiden, so needles to say Maiden was My Band in those years. While yes, there were other bands that managed to pique my interest then - things like Linkin Park, System of a Down, Nickleback (people need to chill with the Nickleback hate, yes they're commercial as fuck but dear god Silver Side Up and The Long Road fucked back in the day ok, and I will respect and appreciate those albums for what they were) and my first forray into power metal through Gamma Ray and Helloween and Blind Guardian - let's be real, Maiden was basically my whole life. When I discovered Maiden through their older albums, they were currently fronted by Blaze Bailey. Bless the guy, he tried his best and there are legit good songs on his two albums with Maiden, but you just can't fill Bruce Dickinson's shoes man, nobody can. All we were waiting for was Dickinson's return. So when he did come back in 2000 for the Brave New World album, that felt like the biggest event of my short life, and that album became my hyperfixation and favorite thing on the planet.

Iron Maiden - The Wicker Man I could link the entire album here as my “song of my pre-teen years” but this is the first track off of the album, it’s the start of the obsession, it was one of my favs to drum to back in the day. Lots of good memories with this classic!

15:A song that is a cover by another artist You know what's excellent music? 80s synth-pop / new wave like Tears for Fears.

Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

You know what's even better? When a silly-yet-actually-super-talented youtuber band does it over 30 years later and nails the atmosphere.

Ninja Sex Party - Everybody Wants to Rule the World Listen, the world can say that it wants about the whole Game Grumps / Ninja Sex Party / Danny Sexbang persona, I kinda don't care. Objective truth is, Dan Avidan has fucking pipes, his voice is a fucking treasure, and serious albums like that one cover album from 2016 really show off these guys' potential. I get what their shtick is and I respect the hustle. But dude, when they cover 80s tracks like this one or A-ha's Take on Me? This is where they shine in my opinion. There's something so comforting, so soft and smooth in this version, this song feels like a hug for my brain. I remember multiple occasions in 2016 when this song alone carried me through panic attacks.

18:A song from the year that you were born So I was born in ‘91. Solid year in music, and in metal specifically. Metallica’s Black Album came out in ‘91. Ozzy Osbourne’s No More Tears, Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger, classics everyone knows. Over in Europe in the Nordic countries, the late 80s to early 90s with ‘91 smack dab in the middle was the creation and solidifying of black metal. And while of course I did not listen to black metal as a baby (tho I wish XD) the genre became my favorite genre of metal nowadays. ‘91 was the year when Darkthrone released their first record. When Samael released their first record. And when Bathory, already legends back then, released Twilight of the Gods.

Bathory - Prologue / Twilight of the Gods / Epilogue Piece of fucking history this track is.

20:A song that has many meanings to you Ha XD Come try to crack the code of Genesis’ The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway storyline hahaha. 23 songs of the most beautiful madness in the world. Listen, I have listened to this album countless times, pondered meanings, I read the story, my dad saw the original show, we saw the officially sanctioned replica of the show together multiple times, with the costumes, the original videos, everything. I understand The Lamb, and at the same time I understand absolutely nothing about The Lamb.

Genesis - In The Cage Make your own meaning. The more you look at The Lamb, the more confused the creature will make you, and that’s the way I like it! Peter Gabriel era Genesis is the best music that humanity’s ever created. You can spend your whole life trying to get it and you won’t and you’ll still be on awe.

19:A song that makes you think about life I tend to think about life through the lens of death most often. Idk how morbid of a person that means I am, or how much of a realist it makes me maybe? I don��t like to spend too much pondering life cause I know it can easily take me somewhere dark in the mind. But I do instinctually think about the value of life and artistic output, and the limited and fragile nature of life itself, when I listen to songs by people I’ve never known or met or seen while they were alive, and yet here they are, alive and well somehow in my hands and ears. How trippy.

Windir - Journey to the End Raising a (non-alcoholic) glass to Valfar for his soul to share in whichever hall of the afterlife he’s at. The soul of the Sogndal scene, unbeatable creative who I firmly believe could have influenced black metal and changed the course of the scene if he hadn’t died walking home in a snowstorm in 2004. Life’s funny like that. Sometimes all it takes is a walk home that you never arrive from. That type of shit makes me ponder life and its weirdly thin meaning. You take a look at the lyrics, it’s almost like Valfar knew what was coming. Nevertheless, Valfar and Windir left us some of the absolute best black metal offerings in the history of the genre. You cannot tell me this guy wasn’t ahead of his time with that synthy / electro / dreamy second half.

25:A song by an artist no longer living Aaah I unknowingly preemptively answered this one with the Windir answer before uh XD Alright, well, let’s talk about another artist that’s passed away then. An artist I actually got to see playing live multiple times before his passing. An artist that we, in the melodeath community, thought was so fucking cool. His self-destruction, which was very vividly broadcasted to the public mind you, was glorified, it was so epic and wild and awesome. The Wildchild, Alexi Laiho of Children of Bodom fame. We aspired to be half as cool as him. Because for some strange reason when you’re a teenager, a person showing off how much he can drink and do drugs is cool. A metal musician you admire showing himself blackout drunk and passed out and making himself sick day and day out, was cool.

That’s nuts to me now, as an adult, as someone who has mildly dealt with addiction and even that fucked me up, as someone who works with addicts and sees the damages of this disease day in and day out. We all watched Alexi killing himself slowly in front of us, at shows, on camera, on the tour buses, etc. and thought it was cool. We encouraged him, egged him on. Fucking madness. It claimed him, in the end. In 2020. I saw it coming for a few years so I was zero percent surprised. I know it caught some fans off guard, I don’t understand how.

I saw CoB in 2019, less than a year before the guy passed. I also saw CoB multiple times from 2011 to then, so I saw the decline of the frontman, and I feel you had to willingly be blind to it to not see it. In 2019 the guy was a living skeleton. No energy, barely able to play on stage, haggard unfocused eyes, caved in face, skin over bones. I read reviews of this 2019 show, people wrote about how he looked good and had energy and was “at his best”, like?! Was it denial about their favorite musician’s health status? Or pandering to the music industry, unable to review a show honestly? That performance was beyond difficult to watch. It hurt. Still hurts when I think back on it. I was physically uncomfortable. We left before the end. I couldn’t stand watching a literal wraith shredding guitar on stage knowing full well this night too would end with him passed out drunk at the bar after.

It was a whole story, Alexi’s antics. It caused tension and conflict within the band, and of course, how can it not be harmful to watch your frontman and friend do this to themselves. But metal was and unfortunately still is a culture of excess and substances, and nobody did it “better” than the Wildchild. We all thought it looked rad, but in the end we watched this guy die for two decades. When the news of his passing came out in 2020 (from an overdose of lots of different substances on top of liver disease and basically an organ breakdown) I cried a ton. For the reality behind this precious piece of my childhood and teenage years that was CoB; but mostly for how unhealthy the live music scene can be and how it can encourage artists down very dark paths. I don’t understand anymore how watching people get fucked up on substances is supposed to be cool. So I do my part when I can, to honor Alexi Laiho and other musicians like him whom addiction claimed, and to remind whoever reads me that alcoholism and drug abuse isn’t “cool”. Taking shit doesn’t make anyone more manly or more metal or impressive. Addiction shouldn’t be trendy. It cost us too many great musicians already.

Children of Bodom - Thrashed, Lost & Strungout Man I miss this motherfucker.