#thankfully my creative block is easing off

[crabsnpersimmons]

Clip: well maybe it would be easier if you didn't have big meaty claws! crabs: well these claws are only good for attracting mates* *cute robots

so while i was struggling with my creative block, i was trying out new hobbies to fill the void and i decided to try out crochet

i

have not yet learned to enjoy crochet

but hey, Clip's here to be a... support? (show off?) at least he's surrounded me with amigurumi plushies of dear friends. see if you can recognize them all!

i'll put the tags under the cut

from the left to right, top to bottom:

@linafoxoficial - purple fox sona plushie

@inkydoughnut - crochet donut

@itsmuffiiee - sona plushie

@cacaocheri - cherry sona plushie

@eggcromancer - egg sandwich sona plushie

@normal-about-the-dca - beetle sona plushie

@scarredlove - blue mug plushie

@starriegalaxy - star sona plushie

@divinit3a - Pomeranian plushie

@enduu115 - sona plushie

@random-tail - kie kie plushie

[homeofarachne]

I'm way overdue for a return and shop update but I'm officially back!

First off: Where have I been?

In short, I greatly underestimated how long the settling process would take after we moved. It has taken me quite awhile to get back into routine and get comfortable in our home. On top of that, I went through a bout of creative block that definitely called for a brief pull back. Thankfully I'm back on my groove and ready to dive back in!

Shop Update: Commissions/Customs

Getting right to it, I've decided to stop offering commissions or customs indefinitely. Being completely transparent, this is not a service that I really enjoy. I personally find it hinders my skills and conflicts with my creative process. It's not something I'm particularly good at, or am efficient with, currently so it's ultimately the most sensible move to stop.

I've also had some bad and hurtful experiences with this service that have solidified my decision to pull away from this avenue at the current time.

What's coming 2024: Releases and Content

I'm about to start work on some new Fantasy Collection installments that I'm very excited for! I've had some ideas on the back-burner that are ready to come forward now that I'm feeling inspired again! I've also been working on some smaller things that I will be introducing to my shop soon!

I won't be jumping back in to daily posting but have decided to ease my way back into a consistent routine that will hopefully build back up into where I was before.

Thank you to everyone who's been along for the ride! I'm excited to finally get back normal!

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Waking Comfort (Bela Dimitrescu/Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language, brief violence (in a flashback), implied/referenced trauma (unspecified) Warnings: N/A Summary: Unable to sleep on a cold day, Bela Dimitrescu tries to find comfort in her favorite servant... only to end up being the one doing the comforting. Notes: This is super self indulgent, because my dreams have been murdering me recently. Reader is a selective mute/partially nonverbal, implied neurodivergent (unspecified), gender neutral but written with a non-binary person in mind, with non-specific past trauma. Basically this is somewhat of a self-insert fic but I've smudged some lines to make it more relatable for other people.

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In the early hours of the day, when the sun had yet to reach its peak, a cold quiet fell over Castle Dimitrescu. Most inhabitants were of a nocturnal persuasion, and lay sleeping soundly at this hour. Those few that thrived in the sun moved softly, with caution, daring not to awaken their masters. Oh, if only they knew that one Lady of the house was awake, prowling the corridors with marked intent. What a chill it would send down their spines- what lovely fear would permeate the household.

Ah, but that was not what Bela Dimitrescu desired, at least not for now. No, what she needed was something she would never admit out loud. It was a “base” need, one that all humans felt, and so she feared that it was beneath her. There was only one person that she could trust for this: A servant, experienced in all matters needed of them, level-headed, compassionate… and, most importantly, selectively mute.

Over the past year, Bela had found herself growing closer to you, much to her own surprise. The two of you had started to bond through reading, after you had helped her reorganize a mess in the library (left by none other than Lady Daniela). Since then, you had proven to be a valuable ally, always finding creative solutions to the family’s problems. From jury-rigging a set of climbing gear for repairs, to proof-reading all formal letters, there was hardly any part of Bela’s life that you hadn’t assisted with. All while only ever saying two or three sentences- short ones, at that.

Neither of you would ever forget the first (and only) time you spoke out loud. A would-be hunter had infiltrated the estate, through a damaged skylight (which you later repaired), intending to prove his worth by killing the nobility inside. By the time Bela arrived, after being notified by a terrified maiden, she found the situation had already been aptly handled. There you had stood, clutching an ornate, bloodied cane like a club. In front of you had been the unconscious hunter.

“You could have been hurt!” Bela had snapped, unable to stop herself, glad that her sisters hadn’t arrived yet. Then you had glanced at the man, then her, then back to the man. Something uncharacteristically dark had danced in your eyes.

“He said he was going to save me… from you. Called me defenseless,” you had snarled, poking the man with your cane as you did. “Rude.” Before Bela even had a chance to react, her sisters had appeared, disappointed to find the fight already over. They had fought over who would get to kill the hunter, and somewhere in that chaos you had slipped away without another word.

That day had replayed itself in Bela’s mind hundreds of times in her mind. Though she would not readily admit it, that had been the day that her casual affection for you had started to turn into something more serious. These days she didn’t even know how to describe your relationship- after all, you had never told her how you felt. But you had held her, closely, fingers running through her hair while she fought off memories from someone else’s life. Held her in your arms, as she held you, staving off the cold like it was all you had ever known.

This was what she wanted. Your touch, your comfort. All that stood in her way was a familiar question: Where were you? Master of your environment, schedule constantly in flux, you were rarely where anyone expected you to be, especially when you were prone to taking on whatever tasks others hadn’t had time to finish. So Bela searches, quickly, around places the day-shift tends to gather. She’s careful not to be seen, even though she knows the maidens aren’t likely to gossip where her family might hear. In the end she catches a hint of your scent near the servants’ quarters, and curses herself for not checking there sooner.

Your room is one of the only single-occupancy rooms in this wing. Only senior staff were allowed within these places, most of them rotating out as they “lost their usefulness���. The fact that you had slept in the same bed every night for six months was a testament to your skill. It’s the kind of thought that brings Bela some semblance of warmth in her chest. Still, the thought alone is not enough, so she slowly eases your door open.

Her ears strain against the silence, listening for the pattern of your breathing, or the telltale murmurs that would announce your awakening. Instead, the first things she hears are little gasps, then the shifting of fabric. Dreams of some sort have you turning and tossing, lungs getting hungry in their pursuit of air. It’s not immediately clear whether or not you are enjoying the dream. Were these good gasps, like those that Daniela often cooed about when she praised her maiden? Or were these the same kind that sometimes haunted Bela herself?...

A whimper cuts through the air, and suddenly Bela loses all patience. Practically running, she crosses the room in an instant, concern etched into her brow. One hand cautiously reaches for your blanket, pulling it back enough for her to slide in next to you. It’s a risk, one that could make you wake up with a panic, but it’s one she’s willing to take. After all, she had asked you about this sort of thing before. Though you couldn’t form full sentences, you had experience “miming” things, and Bela was quite clever with her “yes or no” questions.

When she carefully wraps an arm around your waist, she does so with confidence. Beneath her touch you stiffen, back going as tense as possible, but you stop shaking. A few more gasps leave you, and Bela wonders whether or not she should wake you up. Less than a minute later the decision is made for her. All the sudden your gasping turns to a sharp exclamation, body jerking hard, eyes snapping open. Tension coils through your muscles, driving your already overstimulated brain overboard.

Before Bela can even try to comfort you, you sit up, quickly turning so your legs dangle off the edge of the bed. Muffled sobs pass your lips as you hold your face in your hands. Memories struggle against each other behind your eyes, blocking out every other sensation. Your jaw is clenched, hard, and you struggle to breathe between shakes. A hand touches your back, but quickly moves when you flinch in response. It takes a minute for you to even process who else is with you. Once you do, some of the tension bleeds from your body.

“If you’d rather be alone right now, I understand,” Bela says, quietly, as soon as she thinks you’ll be able to understand her. For a moment you can’t bring yourself to respond, and you can feel her side of the mattress shifting, like she’s getting ready to leave. Panic springs up in your chest again, so you quickly reach a hand out in her direction. Thankfully she knows what to expect at this point, easily finding your hand in the dark, gently taking it within her own. “One squeeze for yes, two for no?”

You squeeze, once.

“Do you want me to hold you?” Bela asks, trying to hide the hopefulness in her voice. It makes you pause, considering, even though you’re still overwhelmed by your sensory inputs. In the end you squeeze her hand twice. “No worries, my dear. Don’t be tempted to push yourself just for my sake.” Somehow she always knew how to read you like an open book. Even with the… difficulty of communicating with you. Not that she had ever complained, or even thought about it. Knowing you, and caring for you, made any effort feel as easy as breathing.

A few minutes pass without another word being said. Sometimes Bela gives your hand a little squeeze, just to check in, and you always return it. Soon enough your brain starts to relax, loosening its vice-like grip on your motor controls. Once again you can ease the tension in your muscles. Then you find yourself rubbing your thumb against Bela’s hand, moving in soft circular motions, head turning so you can smile at her. Even if it’s too dark for you to see much, you know that her eyes see you just fine.

“Feeling any better?” She asks, donning a smile of her own. One squeeze. “Is there anything more I can do to help?” A pause, then one squeeze. Now that your limbs don’t feel as staticky, there’s only one thing on your mind: Cuddling. You’re moving before you know it, briefly letting go of Bela’s hand so you can get closer to her, pressing your face into her neck and giving her a soft kiss. Then you’re falling against the bed, on your side, looking up at your partner with a grin. It doesn’t take her long to get the message, shifting back onto her side so she can hold you for real this time. One of your hands goes to rest on her back, to serve as your translator for the rest of the night. “I love you,” Bela says, without even thinking.

She freezes up afterwards, realizing that this is the first time she’s ever said the words out loud to you. For a moment she’s scared, a feeling alien to her, but she refuses to back down. It pays off a few seconds later, incredibly so, when you return the words the best way you can: One squeeze.

[pokemoncreepypasta]

My Shining Star

[STORY SOURCE]

Up until some recent events, I used to be an aspiring shiny hunter. Technically I was pretty good at it, too, at least by encounter standards. But even though I was great at finding my fair share of shiny Pokémon , I’ve never been able to keep any of them.

The first one of these shiny Pokémon I found was by a random encounter. I’d gotten lost in Rock Tunnel after forgetting to bring Flash, and spent so long in there that I ran out of Repels. Just as I was giving up hope that I’d be able to escape on my first run, she appeared.

I knew about shiny Pokémon, but hadn't ever thought I'd encounter one of my own in the wild. I was unprepared, and after a moment of staring in surreal wonder, I concentrated on figuring out how to catch her with my limited supplies. Thankfully it wasn't very hard, and soon I had my first legit shiny.

I normally wasn't creative with naming my Pokémon, but I wanted her to have a special name. I asked my mom for help, and she suggested "Star." I liked it, but the name itself seemed short and boring, so I added a couple stars to the ends to give her name a little flair.

I was beyond excited to put my first shiny into my team, and plowed through the rest of the cave. She was the light at the end of the tunnel, and I had to get out to the nearest PC, because I knew a shiny baby Cubone was waiting for me to adopt her.

I quickly fell in love with the little green dinosaur, and soon she was the shining star of my team. I used her more than my starter, and neglected the rest of my party a bit in the process, but still made it through the game alright. Setbacks didn't matter when I had a shiny.

Lots of time and multiple trips through the Elite Four later, I proudly turned ★Star★ into a level 100 Marowak. She was the first Pokémon I ever raised to level 100, and I couldn't have been prouder of her.

It had been a couple years, and I was starting to feel unsatisfied with just ★Star★. I was itching for more, and felt like I probably should have found some other random encounters by now, with all the time I'd spent playing.

Feeling inspired by all the shiny hunter videos I'd been binging on YouTube, I decided to start taking up shiny hunting. I was feeling ambitious, and decided to go straight to hunting for a shiny legendary Pokémon. I was a weird player who didn't really bother going after the birds or Mewtwo in my HeartGold, since I planned on transferring up my legends from my LeafGreen. I decided to rework ★Star★'s moveset for capturing legendary Pokémon.

The moveset I settled on was Bonemerang, False Swipe, Stone Edge, and Swords Dance. I decided to keep her moveset mostly offensive because she was still a member of my team, and not just a shiny-catcher. I planned on replacing False Swipe with Aerial Ace at some point, but I never got the chance to.

I decided to pick Mewtwo as my target. Lots of people find green shiny Pokémon overbearing and unattractive, but ★Star★ made me fond of them. Plush, Mewtwo was awesome, and I thought the two of them would look great together.

I spoke to ★Star★ aloud, saying, "Are you ready to do some shiny hunting, ★Star★?"

"★Star★ let out a roar!"

I thought she was just as enthusiastic as me.

I made it to Mewtwo, saved my game, and started the tedious process of soft resetting.

I’ll spare the details of how long it took, but eventually I came across the sparkling green Mewtwo.

I led with my team's Ampharos to paralyze it, and switched to ★Star★.

I remember being very lucky with this fight at first, with Mewtwo being fully paralyzed every turn.

I used Swords Dance to fully buff ★Star★'s attack stat so False Swipe would do as much damage as possible.

But even though I swore that I had chosen to use False Swipe, ★Star★ proceeded to use Bonemerang.

Shocked, confused and distressed, I watched as ★Star★ mercilessly beat the shiny Mewtwo down, knocking it out in one hit with her increased stats.

I felt crushed and dejected as I went back to the overworld. I blamed myself, thinking I had misclicked the wrong move and killed the Mewtwo myself. In my wave of disbelief, I absentmindedly talked to ★Star★.

"★Star★ is green with envy!"

I decided to go back to square one and start over.

A dozen thousand resets later, I saw it sparkle again and I was shaking with anticipation. Part of me felt twitchy and paranoid, like I should have used my Master Ball right away.

I decided against it because I wanted to hunt the birds later, but decided that if the Mewtwo seemed like it would run low on moves, then I'd use it as a last resort.

I probably should have listened to my guts though, because the same thing happened all over again. I knew for certain this time that I had chosen False Swipe, but the game purposefully made ★Star★ use Bonemerang. I saw it completely clear.

After seeing the Mewtwo go down a second time, I just cursed and slammed my desk a bit. I glared accusingly at my Marowak.

I decided to put my shiny hunting on hold. I used an Escape Rope to leave, and decided to place ★Star★ in the PC, quarantining her in an empty box for a time-out.

As I dejectedly hunted for a third time, I thought to myself what was wrong with my game. I wondered if it was just glitchy, or if I was misinterpreting the situation. I decided to convince myself that it was a mistake on the game's part; otherwise I wouldn't have been able to handle killing the Mewtwo twice in a row.

Finally, it sparkled one last time. I decided not to screw around while reclaiming this shiny. I had hunted it twice before, and decided to just use the Master Ball on it.

I had earned this.

After the initial rush of finally obtaining the shiny, I decided not to nickname it until I thought of something good, and watched as it got sent to the PC. I excitedly saved my game, and made my way out of the cave and to the nearest Pokémon Center.

But when I got there, the Mewtwo wasn't anywhere to be seen.

I shouted curses in confusion as I scrolled through every box in a state of denial. Where did it go, what could I have possibly done? I thought of all the ways I couldn't possibly messed up, did I have an evil hacked Pokémon from the GTS that deleted it, was this actually a bootleg game and Nintendo's anti-piracy revenge was to delete my legendary?

After a few minutes of searching, I gave up. My Mewtwo was gone.

I scrolled back to ★Star★'s isolated box and looked at my only green shiny in mourning. Obviously it wasn't something wrong with just her, but the game itself. In a game as glitchy as this, I was seriously worried that I might lose her, too.

After looking at her for a bit, it seemed like she might've been looking at me? I wasn't sure if she was supposed to do that, but in a game that was acting up like this, I didn't doubt it.

I took her out of the PC and put her at the front of my party to talk to her, to see if anything else was up.

"★Star★ nodded slowly."

She only did more random friendly things after that. Quite chipper for someone whose life might be threatened, I thought.

I decided to trade her over to Platinum for safe keeping. I wasn't sure what to do about the rest of my Pokémon on HeartGold, but ★Star★ was the most important one to me right now.

As I traded her over, I noticed that her eyes were red now, instead of the green I was just looking at. I was off-put by this inconsistency, especially with the recent events surrounding her. I forced myself to brush it off, however, notice I could do about it.

Even though I had an unfortunate experience with my HeartGold, my thirst for more shinies still persisted. Maybe it was the fact I had lost my shiny three times that I really had to fill the void, now.  A couple weeks later, I found out about a method of shiny hunting called chaining, and wanted to try it out. I felt a little more at ease, since if you accidentally killed a shiny with this method, the chain wouldn't break, and you could keep going. Plus, Platinum should've been fine.

I chose Route 208, as it had a good selection of Pokémon for me to choose from. I wasn't picky, so I just started chaining whatever Pokémon I liked until I got a decent chain. I heard that the shiny odds max out at a chain of 40, so after that you can just keep resetting the radar until the grass sparkles.

I landed on Roselia, and sent out my shining star Marowak.

I started with False Swipe, since I wouldn't need to buff up ★Star★ for a LV. 19 Pokémon.

"★Star★ used Swords Dance!"

Oh no.

I panicked as memories of the last incident came flooding back, and how it had started out with her disobeying. Not giving her a chance to kill it, I frantically switched to the items menu to start throwing PokéBalls instead.

(Name omitted for personal reasons.)

I had plenty of them, so I stared throwing Ultra Balls, since they had the highest odds. At least one of these would probably work.

" blocked the Ball!"

"Don't     !"

I tried throwing one, but it failed, as if I tried using it on a trainer's Pokémon.

I had no idea what in the world was going on, what could be stopping me from catching a wild Pokémon? Was my Platinum glitched out too? Was I cursed??

I tried using different balls, but nothing would work.

Eventually, I ran out of PokéBalls to throw. I'd failed the shiny.

Frustrated, but not enough to kill the Roselia, I fled the battle.

I had no idea what to do after that, and was exasperated. I wanted to berate myself, and that I should've tried test catching a normal Pokémon in Platinum first to make sure it was going to work okay. But really, how was I supposed to know that was going to happen? And always, conveniently when I was in the middle of hunting a shiny. I thought of berated my parents instead, if they had bought all my Pokémon games for me on eBay.

Was it really my games, thought? I don't even know if you can trade Pokémon from fake games. Was it my DS could it have been hacked? Can you even bootleg a DS? I tried going to the Internet for answers, and read some Reddit and random Pokémon forum posts about glitches and bootlegs for an hour, but gave up without finding a real conclusion.

So, I'd given up hunting for some time. But, I hadn't gotten tired of Pokémon. I bought Black for myself, and played through the story just fine.

I found out you could get a Shiny Charm if you completed the Pokédex. That made me excited, until I remembered my past luck. Was it worth trying again?

Shortly after transferring up all my Pokémon, I decided, yes. It was. I went for the hatching method this time, since the Pokémon ends up right in your party afterwards- no catching, no PC transfer. It would be my final test, and if THIS didn't work, I would officially give up on ever getting nice things.

Foreign Ditto in hand, I went to work. I went for a shiny Flygon, since they were one of the best looking, and it'd be a nice addition to my competitive team.

One long hunt and a really late night later, eyelids barely able to stay open, I saw it.

I'd never seen anything more beautiful.

Skipping the nickname, I rushed to immediately save my game, wasting no time. I checked my party to see my Trapinch was still there, and chalked it up as a success. I was an official shiny hunter now.

Since ★Star★ was level 100, I figured she could battle for my baby Trapinch until she could hold her own in battle. I only wanted to take her up a few levels, so I could personally train her afterwards. Just raising her immediately into a Flygon would be too soon.

I attached an Exp. Share to her, and started running around in the tall grass. After a little bit of grinding, my Trapinch made it up to level 8 before I accidentally stepped into the thick grass and triggered a wild double battle.

Knowing the wild Pokémon were too strong for the underleveled baby Trapinch, I wanted to flee, but I first noticed ★Star★'s sprite as it asked me what to do.

The end of her bone facing the wild Pokémon was no longer symmetrical, being sharpened at the end of it. I'd seen her sprite enough times to know it wasn't supposed to look like this.

I tried to flee, but it failed.

"★Star★ used Swords Dance!"

"The wild Pidove is watching carefully!" 

"The wild Patrat is watching carefully!" 

"Trapinch is watching carefully!" 

★Star★ had started using moves on her own. Stunned, I tried to switch out.

"★Star★ can't be switched out!"

Giving up, I told ★Star★ to use Stone Edge on the Pidove, and told the Trapinch to use Bite on Patrat.

"★Star★ ignored orders!" 

"★Star★ used Bonemerang!"

I gasped as she struck my Trapinch instead.

"★Star★ is green with envy!"

As soon as I read that text, it hit me. This wasn't any ordinary friendly fire.

"Trapinch fainted!"

It finally allowed me to run, so I immediately tapped the button and rushed to my party to see the damage.

My Trapinch was gone.

I tried resetting to bring her back, but it was hopeless. My shiny new baby had been murdered.

Connecting all the dots in my head, I realized the reason I'd failed every encounter was because of ★Star★.

My grief and fear quickly turned into outrage. I couldn't believe she'd done this to me. She'd made me suffer hunt after hunt, just to take every shiny away from me.

This was the source of my games acting strange, and I knew there was only one way to correct it.

Feeling rash, I rushed over to the PC and hovered over the "Release" option for a few minutes.

"★Star★ was released."

It hurt to let her go, but I didn't want my game behaving strangely with her around.

"★Star★ came back!"

"★Star★ will never leave you."

But she refused.

Resorting to desperate measures, I did the only other thing I could think of.

I traded the stubborn Marowak over to my nearly empty White version that I never got around to playing, and deleted the save file.

"Deleting all saved data... Don’t turn off the power."

"★Star★ will n"

Sayonara, ★Star★.

After deleting the save file, I thought things would start working like they should. Sometimes, I'd replay other Pokémon games just for the fun of it, hoping I'd find other shiny Pokémon with ★Star★ gone.

Almost comically, I somehow thought it would be a good idea to go full circle and try hunting on HeartGold for a shiny starter. I had heard from other shiny hunters that it was an easy hunt, and it was, only taking a few days.

I affectionately named him "Chico."

My first step into the tall grass, and...

"★Star★ is green with envy!"

I had never been so unhappy to see a shiny.

I guess she's been out in the wild all these months. And looking at her sprite, I can only wonder what she's been up to. I wonder how she feels to see me again?

Oh, no.

“Can’t escape!”

"★Star★ used Bonemerang!"

"Chico fainted!"

Of course, Chico was no match.

The game froze after I blacked out.

I figure it was because ★Star★ killed my only Pokémon.

"The save file is corrupted. The previous save file will be loaded."

My save file, corrupted with the loss of my starter's data, brought me back right to this spot that I was all too familiar with. Through frustrated tears, I begrudgingly went to pick a normal starter so I could play the game normally.

“I dare you to love again.”

And I’ve never found a shiny since.

[fumingspice]

Seven Wonders

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x Reader

Words: 1.7k

Note: Part 1/5

Part | 1 2

And in her eyes you could see the beauty of all the Seven Wonders

It all started with a moving truck that disrupted your music session one night. Until then it had been perfect; soft rain pelted quietly against the windowpane, influencing the way that you tapped your pen against the paper-pad in front of you that was begging to be written on. You could hear the music in everything. Cars drove along the roads nearby your apartment block despite the late hour, the wind and the sound of the tyres on the wet tarmac put your soul at ease. It was amazing.

Your creative juices flowed perfectly at this time of the night as you wrote the first few words in the final verse of your new song; the best part in your opinion- when the song came together with its final message. Perfection. Until an unnecessary-to-your-existence truck honked its horn outside your apartment. The invasive noise startled you so that the pen drew a huge line across the page.

You exhaled hard to stop yourself banging your head on the table.

You ignored the horn, assuming the driver was waiting on someone coming out. Then it went again. Your eyes darted to the alarm clock that resided between your cacti (which you had given names). The little box that read 3am sat closest to Bentlee the Bunny Ears Cactus. 3am? Who in their right mind would be making so much noise outside an apartment block at this time of night? Another honk rang in your ears and you couldn't control the urge to open your window and peer outside any longer.

A woman stood in the car park close to a G-Wagon that you hadn't seen before, assuming that was her own car. She held her suitcase in one hand and held a newspaper over her head to shield her hair from the rain, reminding you of the scene in Rocky Horror Picture Show when Janet did the same thing.

The movie comparison eased your mood so that you wouldn't be yelling the foulest obscenities at her. Not tonight at least.

"Excuse me, miss! It's really late, is there a need for the noise?" you shouted down, attempting not to contribute to the noise. The lady looked up, relieved to know she had caught someone's attention.

"I'm so sorry!" she shouted, waving at you. "Would you be able to let me in, please?"

Ah, yes, you thought. The door had often proved a nuisance to newcomers as you had to either have someone buzz you in from the other side of the door, or have your own key. You signalled a yes to her and walked quickly down the corridors and staircases, skipping two at the time the way you did when you were younger when your mother threatened to break your neck if you didn't do it yourself when you walked like this.

"Thank you so much," she ushered when she got in, smacking the rainwater off her newspaper which was now completely sodden. "I asked the moving guy to come back tomorrow because I didn't realise how much noise we would have to make. I'm so sorry for waking you, Ms-," she stuck her hand out to shake yours, which you kindly obliged to. Her hands were freezing, wet from the rain but so soft under yours.

"Y/N," you tell her, she grins.

"Y/N," she repeats, biting her tongue between her teeth as if tasting each syllable of your name as she examined the details of your face.

"Don't worry, I was up working anyway. Uhm- sorry. Your name is?"

The lady nodded, her golden locks bobbing around her shoulders. "Howard," she said "Billie-Dean Howard." You smiled back at Billie. Her lips followed the movements of your own.

"Do I know your name from somewhere, Ms. Howard?" you ask.

"Call me Billie, sweetheart. And yes, I have a TV show back in the States- I'm a medium to the stars. It hasn't really caught on in the UK or Ireland yet but I'm doing a new series on Celtic spirits, myths and legends so I'm hoping that-" she looked you up and down, her dark brown eyes met yours, lowered and stopped, then darted to your still connected hands, "- I can provoke your interests." She uttered the last three words with a seemingly different meaning as you took your hand back. Being a medium- or a psychic or whatever she was she could probably sense your slight discomfort, so she changed the subject quickly.

"Would you be able to tell me where someone called Siobhan is?" she asked, completely butchering the correcting pronunciation of the name.

"I'm sorry, Siobhan's office hours closed about six hours ago and she doesn't open up again until ten o'clock, so," you pursed your lips, unsure of what to do. You couldn't leave her here for the next seven hours, that was something- but you also didn't know or trust her. You attempted to reason yourself for the next few seconds. It wasn't like a goddamn TV personality was gonna try and steal your Ikea silverware anyway, not unless she was also a secret spoon thief.

Billie looked like she was about to give up hope and lie down on the grate to sleep when you offered her night in your apartment. "Wait, really?" she asked, her big brown eyes lit up like two golden compasses. "You're not afraid I would steal your silverware?" Her chuckle came out like a fine four-note melody. You rolled your eyes playfully and shook your head.

As the pair of you walked to the elevator you chatted quietly, asking her questions about her show, what she would be doing and where she would be shooting. "I heard about a place on a peninsula not far out from here- supposed to be one of the most haunted places in Europe and it hasn't really been a spot of interest for other American mediums so I thought that maybe I should check it out." You got more of the specifics in the elevator, where she told you that she would be staying here for three months before moving on to mainland Britain. "After that," she said, "I'm gonna head on into Europe and I'll see where the wind takes me from there. I've never filmed in Asia so that's where I'll go next, maybe." Billie's words invented images of brilliance in your mind, exotic destinations, you could almost feel the warmth of the sun against your skin.

"That sounds amazing," you tell her as you glide the key into the keyhole and turn it with a flick of your wrist, Billie watching your every move. The smell of coffee and incense collided with your nose and replaced the stale smell of the apartment corridor as you stepped into your dark apartment and out of the bright corridor lights. "Wow," Billie uttered to herself, she wondered in behind you and observed the apartment carefully; taking note of the scents and the decorations. "You really like plants that you don't don't need to water." You chuckled at the comment.

"You wouldn't need to be a psychic to figure that out, Billie-Dean," you chuckled, shifting the angle of Fanta the mammillaria.

She observed you with a light smile, "they're personal to you. You've named them, haven't you?"

You turn around and nod, slightly embarrassed. Billie chuckled her adorable chuckle. "Why don't you introduce me?" she suggested.

"Well, this is Fanta, this is her brother Neptune and I bought them in Next. This is Bentlee, Tesla, Mitshubishi, Vauxwagon, Martha and Veronica. Those guys over there are all named Deborah but they have a number after their names to tell them apart- and the vines are called Mocha," you explained, blissfully unaware in the moment of how insane you probably sounded in front of the woman.

She nodded with wonder in her eyes. "Amazing."

After a few moments of silence whilst she continued to observe, you pulled out the couch and made a quick bed up for yourself; you were going to be up a while longer anyway so you would allow her to sleep in your own bed. After all, it was she who had just travelled god knows how many hours to get here.

"You're a musician?" you heard her ask from the living room while you tidied away some of your things to make it a little less messy for you.

"Jesus, you are a good medium," you admitted, walking in with your favourite pillow and dropping it on the couch. "I have to admit I was a little sceptical at first but you seem pretty-" you stopped talking when you saw her face in the softer light. The shadows illuminated her jawline and cheekbones, defining them as if someone had drawn over them to make them appear more prominent, and she stood in the reflection of the lamp so that a strip fell over her eyes, turning them a brilliant golden copper. The image of her took your breath away, it was an unusual feeling for someone to appear so utterly ethereal to you that it almost made you stop breathing for a moment. Her grin and raised eyebrow snapped you out of it. "-pretty. Uhm, pretty intuitive."

Billie didn't stop smiling, she clearly knew you were astounded by her without intending to be. "You have three bass guitars on the wall and Fleetwood Mac vinyls everywhere, I'd be concerned if a regular person could come in and not tell," she said, her cheeks blushed slightly at the attention, stretching when she yawned.

"My bedroom's in there, I'm not done working just yet and you should get some rest." you pointed to your door which you had left slightly ajar and she smiled at you thankfully. You moved out of her way so she could walk to your room, however, she stopped when she was just inches from you.

"Y/N," the touch of her fingertips grazing your forearm tingled. "Let me take you out to breakfast, or lunch or drinks tomorrow, hm? A room for a meal?" she suggested. Her eyes twinkled in a way that you had never seen before when you nodded carefully, finding it hard to refuse the offer. When she was satisfied, she shook your hand goodnight, whispered a thank you and slipped into her room for the night.

And boy did you know your search history would be full of her for the next hour.

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND Chapter 14

Ya'll, when I say, that the writer's block for this story practically parked it's 18 wheeler sized ass in front of me, like a boulder on a mountain road AND THERE WAS NO WAY AROUND IT, to the point that I didn't know if I ever would get to write it again and I had to take a break for...way too fucking long. Also- for the record, all of this still happens in my head in 2018, you know, when I started writing this story, because BY GOD, all these characters should have had their weddings and a small piece of happily ever after BEFORE COVID comes to fuck everyone over. But Hazel's dress, that's still 2022 Pnina Tornay, it's a fantasy story, I'm fudging the timeline, a little. Also Hazel's engagement ring? Chocolate diamond. She's a foodie. It made sense.

Also, Yes, I do realize that I am face casting Alex Pettyfer twice. The first was as modern Ravus Nox Flueret, and then...as Dash Parr in my modern Incredibles AU Why So Jaded. Look, I just adore the guy ok? He's...incredibly good looking and talented, and HOT. They don't happen in the same alternate universe, it's fine, it's fine.

Anyway, so back to the road block, sorry, detour, anyway, so then, tragedy struck in my personal life, ok several tragedies kind of piled up all at once it felt like and shook me to my core, and suddenly those earthquakes, knocked that boulder off the road and opened up the creative roadway to this story again, then I wrote something truly horrific for this particular story. AND IT'S AWESOME, like it's brutal, will reach inside and grab your heart, put it into a blender before handing it back to you as you cry and say thank you, kind of awesome, so angsty.

But, I couldn't just...post it and not keep wrapping up other character's story lines because this was still "everyone needs to find their happily ever after" foundations laid. So. What that did, was give me a "if you want this- angsty thing to happen, how do you get the story from here to there, now that you don't have this fucking boulder in the way." and my brain finally went "I got it! TREDD IS AN ASSHOLE" and boom, problem solved. See I had- most of the components to this particular chapter, already written and mentally mapped out and planned out but the "go juice" to write it was empty.

But Tredd, lovable, asshole Tredd, gave me what I needed. I don't even know if I should tag who I used to tag...however long ago I used to post chapters to this story or if they have all changed their usernames and stuff or if any of them are still interested. But you know what? I'm gonna post it anyway. So enjoy.

Also, @the-immortal-marshal, thanks for sticking with me and hanging in there, THE PAIN IS COMMING NEXT CHAP. ENJOY the last moment of "peace and happiness where everything is perfect and nothing hurts" while it lasts.

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND

Chapter 14

“Hello Behbehs!” Selena cooed when she came home from school to her dogs and Duchess who eagerly greeted her before she got all the packages from the little stylish boxes she built out of pallets to create a little place for packages to be stored on her front porch before she and Ravus could get home and get them in their apartment.

“Ah thank goodness.” Selena breathed in relief when a couple of them were those pre prepared meal kits. Because with both her and Ravus being in school and both of them working too, they rarely had a chance to go grocery shopping anymore and the meal kits were a healthy alternative to fast food and surprisingly less expensive than take out and right now they were still in their “try everything once to find our favorites” stage. But Selena barely had them all unpacked and put away by the time her phone chimed.

‘Hope you had a good day today Darling’ Ravus texted when his phone chimed that she had made it home.

‘It’s been fine, busy, how about yours?’ Selena texted back.

‘Not great, I’ll be happy to call it a day soon.’ Ravus texted back as Selena frowned at her phone before she got an idea and raced up the stairs to get dressed in more business formal attire that was clearly flirtatious that covered up some ridiculously sexy lingerie and some really good ‘fuck me’ heels and put on some makeup and put her hair up in a quick bun then quickly left their apartment to go to Miracles Hospital where she parked next to Ravus’ car and purposefully strutted into the offices, using the badge keycard Sylva had made for her to get in before she made a B-Line for Ravus’ temperoary office while his was under construction before she checked in with Kathryn to make sure he was alone in his office before she opened his office door and struck a pose in his door frame with a smoldering look and a mischevious smirk on her lips that had Ravus’ jaw dropping to the floor at the vision she was.

“Hey. What are you doing here? Is there a problem with…?” Ravus began to ask as she closed the door, locked it then sauntered up to him and straddled his lap before she kissed him passionately as he eagerly held her and pulled her to himself as he kissed her back with equal passion that had Ravus thanking God that he put such an amazing, wonderful and sexy as hell woman in his life that could give him the one thing he wanted that he knew money could never buy- her love, priceless and perfect as it was. And with her love came devotion, loyalty, honesty, faithfulness and right now- desire and it was his life’s goal to make himself as desirable to her as he could possibly be because being the object of her affection was all he could ever want and he wanted her to feel as lucky that she had him for a partner- that he felt about her.

“How’s your day now?” Selena purred when they broke for air.

“Ah-amazing, I can’t, can’t complain.” Ravus answered truthfully, his mind desperate in it’s grasping for coherent thought as he was completely blown away and delighted by her little surprise visit as his hands traveled down her body, appreciating every nuance and curve she had.

“Good, now do you want to fuck me here or in the sleep studies wing, in the car or at home?” Selena asked and watched as he swallowed thickly as his own eyes grew a dark stormy gray with lust.

“Is there an ‘all of them’ option?” Ravus returned which made Selena smile brighter as he quickly hiked up her skirt the rest of the way to reveal that she had not been wearing underwear but was wearing thigh highs attached to a matching green silk garter belt ,which were his favorite kind of stockings as his cock tried to break through his pants trying to get into her as he gasped and ‘oohed’ in surprise and delight as she made quick work of his pants and underwear before she managed to seat herself onto him as he let his chair lean back and rest on a filing cabinet so they wouldn’t crash backwards and also so that Selena could ride him as hard as she wanted to without hurting anything as she opened up his silk dress shirt so that his chest and neck were bared to her before he yanked down her shirt and undid her bra so that her breasts, which had been pushed up to show her amazing cleavage before- were now bared to him in turn as he suckled as his hands went to her hips to guide her over him and when his other hand reached down to stroke her clit with practiced ease as he whispered some absolutely filthy things to her in French which he had discovered could get Selena all riled up and to hear and see and feel that was like a drug to him.

Selena could feel her orgasm approaching as her body and mind were in absolute bliss and to hear Ravus whisper, moan and growl in her ear in between kissing and licking and playfully biting every inch of skin he could reach as he drove up into her as hard as he could and rub her clit just right. Not too hard, not too fast, but as if he was delicately conjuring her soul through her pussy was the greatest pleasure she had ever known and she didn’t care what he was saying to her in French, but the way he said it, the way it rolled off of his very gifted tongue and the way he could enrapture her mind, body and soul so easily, as easy as he breathed and leave her so desperate for him, desperate for more. Just one more touch, one more kiss, one more thrust, one more profession of love, of promise, of adoration, everything. How she was his everything and how he was going to love her and cherish her for as long as he lived and she had the utmost faith in every word. And she knew that she was going to love him for the rest of hers. She didn’t care if he lost his fortune or the hospital or anything. She would keep him and he would keep her. And that would be all that mattered.

In rapid succession Selena came, her shuddering cry of bliss was the most perfect sound in Ravus’ ears as he smiled victoriously that he was able to give her the greatest pleasure possible before Ravus’ own face scrunched up as he came himself, a grunting, hissing moan. His cock throbbing but since his injections, there were no loads, other than an extra load of precum before they both collapsed in the chair as they held each other as Selena let her head rest on his shoulder as they recovered.

Selena traced random designs on his skin around his chest hair that was starting to fill in nicely along with more muscle mass that had started to build just in the last few months since he graduated highschool and gotten back from the most epic summer vacation. It was as if he was a late bloomer. All the bulky muscle he had always wanted was finally filling in the way he wanted it to and he was having to buy new suits and shirts because his old ones no longer fit him the way he wanted them to, but thankfully that glorious cock of his stayed the same, much to Selena’s utter and complete delight.

The only thing that hadn’t grown was thankfully his feet so that meant the man didn’t need to buy new shoes. Which was his own guilty pleasure and obsession, especially dress shoes. While they had gone cross country all summer, he and Luche would hit up all the thrift stores and speciality shops looking for old shoes to restore and when they had been in L.A. They had hit the mother load. All these places that had all the shoes from the old stars of hollywood, whether they became famous or infamous or never even made it on the map. But their very expensive and very good quality shoes were left behind. One shop in particular was run by a couple of older gentlemen that were so happy to see some younger guys were into this kind of thing that they gave them the deals of a lifetime and even Tredd and of course Ignis came along and between Ravus and Ignis, Luche and Tredd got quite the crash course education on shoes, in particular old dress shoes as the four of them practically bought the store out and had to ship out most of them back home because they wouldn't fit with their former travel plans. Ravus and Ignis were the way about shoes the same way some women were about fashion and purses.

Of course that wasn't the only "obsession" Ravus and Ignis had shared with Luche and Tredd, Ravus' mother and of course his grandparents were avid fountain pen collectors and when Sylva's parents had passed, they went over her parent's very, very extensive fountain pen collection that was in the thousands of pens large, Ravus insisted that about two dozen of them go directly to Selena so she could "impress" her more "financially affluent" clients she was starting to get as Sylva happily let those precious few go to Selena, then the rest were picked through by Sylva, Lunafreya who was also an avid fountain pen enthusiast as well as Ravus and Ignis who then coached Luche and Tredd of all people who showed an interest in what he called "rich people shit", just like jewels, yahts, jets, shoes and the like, which amused Sylva who humored him enough to go through what made a good fountain pen and what made different pens valuable and what the more "famous" or well known "name brands" were and what inks were best for which pens and corralating inks to the pens themselves as Luna did the same thing with Selena so that Ravus could coach Luche through the same thing too as the rest were divided evenly and "put away" so that they could become an "inheritance" for the next generation.

Meanwhile Ravus wasn’t the only one who had gone through some changes over the course of the summer and now fall, Selena too seemed to fill in quite nicely, she had gained some weight over the summer, her hips had filled out and her derriere had plumped out and her breasts had grown, filled in and rounded out and while she had gone up a few dress sizes, Ravus couldn’t be happier about the developments. Like she had transformed from lithe teen to full blown woman and he was all too happy to replace every piece of clothing in her wardrobe so that she was comfortable and could embrace her current body.

And with Selena landing what in her opinion was the dream job at Fosters as a junior designer and was currently designing all her friend’s houses as Oak Creek Estates under the supervision of a woman named Samantha Leeds, who had taken Selena under her wing and was showing her the ropes and helping get all the classes at the local college. Selena had had the hardest time understanding CAD but when she finally figured it out. She quickly excelled.

“So what’s going on?” Selena asked after they seemed to recover but were in no need to change their positions or state of partial undress.

“Something stupid in office politics.” Ravus huffed.

“Ok…” Selena urged.

“Some of the board members are getting greedy, in particular Mr. Greed, they look at how much Project Recovery is making them and they’re seeing dollar signs at the other pharma we produce.” Ravus revealed.

“But I thought your mom had a pretty good stance that when it came to life saving drugs like insulin and other medications like it- that you put a cap on all those so they’re affordable to everyone.” Selena frowned.

“She did, but the other board members see Luche and I coming onto the board and think they can get to us and pit us against mother or pit us against each other- thinking their greed is going to be contagious or something or that we’re too young to know what we’re talking about and too inexperienced to have valid opinions.” Ravus grumped before he kissed her forehead sweetly, grateful he could bare his heart and soul like this to her so freely.

“Well that’s not going to work right?” Selena said as she raised her head to fix him with a look.

"No, it's just frustrating to deal with until they retire, although I can’t imagine dealing with Roman or Ainsley is going to get any better, all I hear is ‘chip off the old block’ when Rob talks about them." Ravus shook his head.

"Is there any way we can get Mr. Greed to retire early? Get some peace before Roman and Ainsley come on board or is it not just Mr. Greed that’s giving you all the headaches?" Selena hoped.

"I wish it was just him. But it’s not. It just...comes with the territory. Besides if there was a way to make Mr. Greed and the others to retire early, I'm pretty sure my mother would have done it already. They've been thorns in her sides most of her life and they’re proving to be thorns in ours as well." Ravus mused as Selena frowned deeper.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem to fix, but thank you for listening.” Ravus thanked her gratefully as he held her comfortably in his arms. “And thank you for this, this was the best surprise.” He smiled appreciatively as he nuzzled her face with his.

“You’re welcome.” Selena smiled happily.

“Hey you wanna go out to dinner?” Ravus asked hopefully. “We could see if Lu and Ada wanted to join us?” He asked.

“Sure,” Selena nodded as she and Ravus worked on getting straightened up as Selena pulled her dress down a bit more so it was a bit more modest and pinned the top up to a much more modest height and by the time they got squared away and unlocked the door they saw Ada coming out of Luche’s office dressed similarly to Selena and Luche himself had the same love drunk smile Ravus was wearing.

“Hey,” Selena greeted as both Selena and Ada blushed before they looked pointedly at each other’s shoes then back up to each other before they both tried to stifle their giggles because they both knew exactly why the other was wearing those heels as they beamed knowingly at each other.

“Dinner?” Ravus asked as he self consciously smoothed his hair as Luche did the same as Luche gave Ada a questioning look and smiled when she eagerly nodded her head.

“Oh yeah.” Luche agreed before they all hopped into Ravus’ new Land Rover and drove to the restaurant that piqued their interest and hunger.

“So how’s the wedding planning going?” Ravus asked Luche while they looked at the menus.

“Good, still deciding on invitations, although we've narrowed it down to three different choices.” Luche answered.

“We did agree to use the same venue Sylva used when she got married.” Ada revealed.

“Yeah, that’s the same venue we decided on too.” Selena smiled happily.

“Do you have any ideas what dress you’d want?” Selena asked.

“Actually yeah.” Ada nodded as she scooted closer to Selena in the booth to show her the dresses she had found on Pintrist.

“Oooh, I like that one.” Selena agreed.

“It’s just going to be a challenge to find one that doesn’t drown me out. Because I’m so short and petite, but I don’t want to walk down the aisle in like 7 inch heels just to not trip over the dress.” Ada confessed as Ravus nearly lost it Luche’s grin as he had that ‘I wouldn’t mind’ kind of expression.

“Are you excited to go back to Kleinfelds?” Selena asked.

“Very much so, I’m already packed.” Ada confessed.

That weekend, the whole crew went back to Klinefelds for Ada to do her dress shopping. As Sylva made sure that Ada’s parents and Luche’s parents were in the middle couch while the boys made sure to keep Luche preoccupied while all the girls happily rallied around Ada as they all had their own ideas of what Ada should wear while Morgan got Sylva’s picks and other dresses into the room.

“Ok, this is Crowe’s pick.” Morgan said as she brought Ada out in the first dress.

“Aww,” they all awwed.

“You’re drowning in it though Love.” Ada’s mother noted as others kind of grimaced and nodded in agreement.

“So what do you love about this dress?”

“I love the bling, I love the tiered layers, it’s just a little too poofy.” Ada offered Morgan.

“Ok, so let’s try again, we’ll be right back.” Morgan offered the crew.

“Ok, so this is a mermaid, fit and flare,” Morgan announced as she brought Ada back out.

“It looks amazing, I just can’t really move because it’s so restrictive.” Ada realized as the rest of her family put in their 2 cents about it before she was back and tried even more, trying on her mom’s picks, Linda’s picks then finally getting to Sylva’s picks but Sylva made sure that Morgan didn’t tell Ada that they were her pick’s and instead urged Morgan to introduce them as her picks before sneaking one into Morgan’s hands that was brand new that had not been there when they had been there last.

Ada softly gasped when she saw it, it was perfect, it had the tiered layers but it also had lace and glitter and just a little bit of everything. It was perfect and when she put it on, she couldn’t help but cry. It was a soft, blushed ivory. It complemented her red hair and her skin tone gorgeously. She felt like a proper bride in this and she could see in her mind- so clearly- how Luche would probably cry tears of happiness if he saw her in this. This was it, this was the one.

“There’s that smile.” Morgan grinned victoriously as she looked at Ada in the mirror after she cinched the corset back closed and got it looking like Ada was born into this dress.

“This is it, even if all of them hate it, this is it.” Ada insisted.

“Well then let’s show them.” Morgan insisted.

Everyone could tell that Ada’s smile practically came from her toes, she was practically glowing with happiness as Sylva got choked up which caused Linda and Ada’s mom Amelia to start crying as all the girls started gasping and cooing before Morgan happily snagged an appropriate veil and put it on her and that’s when they were all practically sobbing.

“It’s perfect Love, absolutely perfect. It has those tiers that you love and the lace is so romantic.” Amelia cried as she squeezed her husband- Richard’s hand who was also getting choked up as they passed a box of tissues down the line.

“You look stunning Ada, really, just perfectly beautiful.” Linda praised as she had already made her peace with Ada being a daughter in law.

“And it still has enough sparkle and glitter to it, that even in low light, you’ll glitter like the jewel you are.” Sylva added.

“So, are you saying yes to the dress?” Morgan asked.

“Yes, I’m saying yes to this dress.” Ada confirmed happily before Amelia got up off the couch and hugged her daughter tightly before her dad hugged her tightly too along with her brother who had also been flown in for the event with his fiance.

A week later, Hazel and Sylva returned to Klinefelds as Sylva had flown out Hazel’s sister Mei and her mother Huan and her dad Tommy along with Titus' mother Helen and Titus’ sister Jenny in for the appointment. Helen and the rest of her family had been all too happy to welcome Hazel into the fold. Once Titus was thirty and then almost 40, Helen gave up on the idea that Titus would ever get married and settle down, especially when the rest of her children were giving her grandchildren at this point but it seemed she was too hasty when Titus finally met Hazel and seemed to get with the program and settle down “properly”.

Meanwhile Huan and Tommy were also over the moon that Hazel was finally settling down and even though Billy wasn’t wild about the age difference at first, the more he and Titus got to know each other, the better they got along, Tommy was happy that Titus made Hazel happy in addition to Titus’ character and stability and profession and Huan was so happy to learn that Titus was a good man, who had a house and was planning on building another with Hazel and when Titus and Hazel adopted Brutus who was Kona, Kahlua and Sasha’s sibling, while Tredd and Stella adopted Brutus’ brother King. To Huan- a grand-dog was close enough to a grandchild, for now. While she was always proud of Hazel for earning her own way though the world and earning enough to take care of them in their retirement, she had been on Hazel since she was in her twenties to have someone take care of her. And it seems Titus had finally come along and to do just that.

“So what are you looking for?” Meredith asked Hazel after everyone had been introduced.

“I’m looking for a very simple, not too many embellishments, comfortable, light weight wedding dress. Titus and I are getting married at the beach next May, right after school lets out, because he is highschool football coach. It’s going to be a very small, intimate wedding with just family and really close friends.” Hazel answered.

“Aww, that’s awesome, is there a price point we’re comfortable with?”

“Ten thousand.” Hazel answered.

“Ooh, more than enough to work with, well let’s go.” Meredith urged as she brought Hazel back into a dressing room to get changed before she went hunting for the perfect dress.

“Simple, light, comfortable.” Meredith echoed over and over again as she combed through the back room, her almost encyclopedic knowledge of the backroom to her aid as she went through all the dresses before she found several that would fit those criteria.

Charlotte came into the bridal shop, a giddy grin on her face as she came and “snuck up” on her family as Sylva turned her head and smiled at the newcomer.

“Surprise!” Charlotte announced to her family.

“Charlie?!” Tommy smiled happily as he got up and gathered up his daughter into his large arms. She may have been a wanted criminal and fugitive, but he was always happy to see her and to him, she would always be his "little Charlie".

“I thought you were overseas?” Tommy asked.

“And miss this? Nah, it’s Hazel’s first big day before the big big day, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Charlotte happily murmured into her dad’s chest before Tommy put his arm around his daughter’s shoulders and introduced her to Titus’ family who were completely oblivious as to Charlotte’s true identity as Charlotte sat next to Sylva.

“It’s nice to see you again. Different kind of exciting this time,” Sylva offered with a mischievous grin that Charlotte mirrored.

“I take it you didn’t get any kind of trouble from the last time we were in each other’s company.” Charlotte offered.

“Nope, not a peep, thank you.” Sylva reassured her.

“You’re welcome, this was wonderful, thanks for letting me know, when you get to know their wedding arrangements, forward them to this number, I doubt the groom would be comfortable with Gil and I coming but I want to send them a proper wedding gift that won't be on any kind of gift registry, at least domestically.” Charlotte nodded as she handed Sylva a slip of paper written in Mandarin as Sylva read it quickly, nodded and put it into her billfold just as Hazel came out in her first dress and stopped when she saw Charlotte.

“Charlie?” Hazel gasped in excitement as she saw her sister.

“Hey you, don’t you look beautiful.” Charlie greeted as she set her large, heavy purse on the seat and came over and embraced her sister.

“I didn’t think I would see you again.” Hazel admitted as she hugged her sister tight.

“Sylva invited me, hope you don’t mind.” Charlotte explained.

“Nope, not at all.” Hazel readily assured her sister.

“Is Gil here too?” Hazel asked.

“He’s doing business, as usual, plus I don’t think Dad would be cool and I know your fiance wouldn't be cool if Gil and I showed up to the wedding itself, so this is the best I can do and this is exposed enough without making things difficult or uncomfortable or "unsafe".” Charlotte excused.

“I get it, I'm still really happy to see you and that you're here. It means a lot, especially to Mom and Dad, and of course me as well.” Hazel nodded as Charlotte nodded in unison.

“So is this your dress?” Charlotte asked, changing the subject.

“This is just the first one, you came just in time.” Hazel answered.

“Well then let’s get to it.” Charlotte insisted as she returned to her seat.

“So this is dress number one. What do we think?” Meredith asked.

“It’s nice, I’m not in love with it, but it’s nice.” Hazel answered honestly.

“It makes you look like you’re wearing a tent.” Huan criticized as Helen and Jenny nearly choked on their spit and looked at Huan in alarm as Charlotte akept her snickering quiet enough to pass it off as a cough as Mei just rolled her eyes and complained to her mom in Mandarin that she was being too harsh.

“You don’t look like you’re wearing a tent, but the cut isn’t quite right. You need a more flattering shape to the fabric.” Charlotte offered.

“Agreed.” Sylva nodded.

“Well, that’s what first dresses are all about, finding what elements can work and what elements won’t.” Meredith explained before they tried on a few different picks as Charlotte looked around as did Sylva at the other dresses on display at the other dresses in the store.

“That one,” Charlotte and Sylva said at the same time once they both locked eyes on it and pointed to it.

“Well go get it then, bring it to her, it will mean more to her if you do.” Sylva encouraged before Charlotte got up and strutted across the floor to get the dress in question before she asked to see which room her sister was in before she came to the appropriate dressing room, a security guard shadowing her.

“Try this one.” Charlotte suggested as she handed the dress over to her sister as Hazel gasped softly when she saw it before Charlotte saw her way out and went back to the group and waived the security guard back a little farther so his presence was not felt by everyone else.

“And?” Sylva prodded.

“She had the gasp and the smile.” Charlotte answered as she checked her phone.

“Please let this be the one, I’m running out of time.” Charlotte whispered as she looked at the time on her phone and read the messages her henchmen were sending her as they stood guard a short distance away as her driver himself was scanning the police channels as Gil’s other men were monitoring the area.

Hazel came out a short time later, wearing a smile that shamed the sun, moon and stars as everyone else gasped and oohed and awed.

“Now that’s the dress, you look exquisite Hazel.” Huan finally complimented as Charlotte and Sylva gave each other a meaningful smile as Hazel nearly burst into tears as Jenny and Helen were already crying too.

“It’s perfect, but still incomplete.” Hazel began as she stood up and pulled a special box from her bag and took out a set of jade jewelry and put it on Hazel as Huan and Mei cooed and practically giggled as they put it on her as Charlotte gave Hazel a special sachet as well before Charlotte’s phone chimed.

“Do you have to go?” Hazel asked as Charlotte’s eyes watered as she tried to put on a brave, happy smile but nodded yes.

“Thank you for coming and for all of this. Thank you for being my sister. I love you so much.” Hazel thanked her as the two hugged before Charlotte got to hug every member of her family as Sylva got to get a quick picture of them all together, both with Charlotte’s phone as well as other members of her family so that each one would have a picture of this moment to treasure forever before the Henchmen came over and cleared their throats to get Charlotte’s attention as Charlotte hugged her parents, specifically her dad one last time.

“I have to go, I love you.” Charlotte bid her family before she used her handkerchief to dry her eyes and left with the henchmen as her driver was already anxiously out front, waiting to take his Empress back to a safer, less ‘exposed’ space.

“How come she couldn’t stay?” Helen asked.

“She’s a very busy woman. She lives half a world away and she probably had to fly back pretty soon, and security at the airports is a nightmare.” Sylva delicately excused as she waived it off.

“But now that we found the dress and the veil and obviously the jewelry. Let’s get settled up and get dinner shall we?” Sylva encouraged with a bright happy smile.

When Sylva came back home from flying and taking care of all the other guests, she came home to see all of her kids and their fiances and their friends as they had made a really nice dinner for everyone as Pelna and Yasmine, Gladio and Pashmina, Prompto and Cindy, Luche and Ada, Libertus and Crowe and Craig and Iris were on their way as well as Luche’s family and Ada’s family.

“Hey! So how did it go?” Luna asked as she gave her mom a big hug.

“Good, Charlotte came and surprised Hazel and the family.” Sylva revealed which caused everyone to freeze and look at each other worriedly.

“Charlotte Stevens?” Luna asked, taken aback by the news.

“Oh don’t look so surprised, when Charlotte and Gil used the jet they left a single phone number for the pilot to give to me and said I get to use it once. And I knew Charlotte wouldn’t want to miss the milestone in Hazel’s life because Charlotte knows she probably won't be welcome at the wedding since Cor is one of Titus' groomsmen, so I used it and told Charlotte the plan and she was very grateful for the invitation since no one else in her family knew how to get a hold of her to tell her. Besides, Titus’ family was blissfully ignorant of who she really was and Hazel’s family got to have a nice little reunion within the realitive safety confine of a public space and Charlotte got to see Hazel in her wedding dress as a good sister should. It was fine, I mean she had to be carrying four guns on her and who knows how many knives on her person, she had to have two guns in her outfit and at least another two in her purse and her four henchmen were armed to the teeth as well and she could only stay for about an hour but Hazel found the dress and everyone gave it their stamp of approval and Charlotte gifted Hazel some really pretty jade jewelry which is customary for a Chinese bride to receive which honored that part of her heritage and traditions, which was really nice, it was a lovely time.” Sylva waived off as she got the picture and showed everyone the family picture she took.

“She has got to have the biggest balls in the world.” Tredd noted, impressed when he saw the picture.

“She’s got you beat, that’s for sure.” Stella teased.

“She’s got everyone beat.” Sylva laughed.

“So is this everyone or are more coming?” Sylva asked.

“More are coming.” Luna reported.

“How many more?” Sylva asked before her doorbell rang and slowly then all at once, everyone came as everyone started pulling all the components at the table, setting it up for a large extended friends and family meal before Luche and Ada came in last, both of them having anxious smiles on their faces.

“Is everything ok?” Sylva asked Luche as she tried to keep her knowing smile to a minimum.

“Yeah, yeah, everythings great.” Luche reassured her.

“You sure?” Sylva asked as she looked from Luche to Ada who had the same anxious smile on her face.

“Ok, so we have some news and we wanted everyone to be around to make the announcement and we don’t exactly know how it’s going to be received.” Luche hinted.

“If it’s what I think it is, I will do my best to lead the way in accepting the announcement with all the happiness and joy that such an announcement garners. But I also want to be the first to offer my congratulations.” Sylva reassured them both.

“Thank you.” Luche and Ada breathed in relief.

“Come on, dinner is getting cold.” Sylva encouraged them before they all came into the kitchen where everyone was getting something to drink with their dinner.

“So Luche and I chose wedding invitations!” Ada happily announced as she handed every couple an invitation as well as one to her parents and one to Luche’s parents as well.

“Wait, I thought we agreed on May 18th, this is in December..only three months, it’s the weekend before Nyx and Luna’s wedding?” Linda pointed out.

“Well that brings us to announcement number two. We’re pregnant, or rather Ada is.” Luche announced as there was just a hint of nervousness to his excitement as Sylva was the first to squeal, almost an excited scream in delight, only half a second before Crowe did which got everyone else to cheer joyfully as Sylva came over and hugged them both and offered her first “official” congratulations which got Linda and Ada’s mother Amelia and Linda to get over their initial shock and plaster on happy smiles and congratulate them before Ada was swarmed by the girls with hugs and congrats as the first ultrasound pictures were passed around that she had gotten the day before.

“So how far along are you?” Sylva asked.

“Ten weeks.” Ada announced as Tredd, Nyx and Ravus shared a rather knowing smile, but no money was passed between the three because Tredd and Ravus had “seen it” when Sylva had as well. Crowe especially was super happy because she wasn’t the only one pregnant anymore as her own little baby bump had seemed to pop out since her own wedding.

“Baby bump!” Crowe happily cheered as she gently bumped her little baby bump into Ada’s belly which got Ada to giggle as the two hugged tightly and couldn’t stop laughing.

“Congratulations man!” Libertus congratulated Luche as he hugged him super tightly.

“Thanks.” Luche laughed into the hug before he got more congratulations from everyone else as even Tredd was, for once, gracious.

“So what are you hoping for?” Tredd asked.

“A healthy baby and a non complicated delivery.” Luche answered honestly.

“Good. Ok, everyone listen up! Taking bets on due dates and gender, where’s a white board?” Tredd suddenly turned, raising his voice to shout over everyone as he received a mixture of laughter and groans from some of the adults as Sylva laughed the hardest as Tredd took the whiteboard off the fridge and the little marker and erased all the important reminders after taking a pic of what was on it so none of it would be lost.

“Ok so that technically puts Crowe five months ahead of Ada so if gestation is 40 weeks, that’s basically ten months and Ada is already ten of those 38-40 weeks in- that puts us at...holy shit you’re due on your original wedding date- May 18th. OK, So, taking bets on three day spreads May 18th, 19th and 20th? Any takers?” Tredd continued undeterred.

“You asshole, I announce my fiance is pregnant and you immediately turn it into a bet?” Luche laughed, not surprised by his friend’s behavior, but was hoping he would have at least five minutes before Tredd turned into “The Lovable Douche Asshole”, the lovable part was questionable though most of the time.

“May 12th through the 15th, and a boy and the winner gets bragging rights but all the money and proceeds go to Luche and Ada.” Sylva said as she fished several hundred dollar bills out of her wallet and handed them to Ada before discretely handing Tredd another one too.

“Sweet, first better, Sylva Caelum, May 12th through the 15th and a boy.” Tredd repeated as he wrote that down and put a note in his phone.

“Oh what the hell. Twenty quid on the 16th-19th and I want a granddaughter so I’m betting on a girl.” Amelia offered as she handed Luche and Ada the money with a laugh of her own.

“May 9th-12th, a boy.” Ignis said as he handed Luche a few hundred dollars as well.

“May 19 through the 21st and a boy as well.” Luna giggled as she handed the couple a few hundred dollars too.

“May 14th through the 17th, boy as well.” Ravus added as he gave Luche most of the money in his wallet.

“Amelia it looks like if it is a girl, you’re getting amazing odds, five to one, that’s pretty awesome.” Tredd grinned at Amelia.

“Oh hell, I say May 21st through the 24th, also a girl.” Linda added as she gave Luche and Ada some money too as soon Luche and Ada were holding wads of cash and laughing as their friends were giving them money as Tredd was taking “bets” from everyone as everyone joined in on this impromptu gamble.

“Ok, so this isn’t so bad.” Ada had to confess to Luche as they tried to organize their “winnings” into a “gift bag” that Sylva had on hand before they all sat down to eat dinner as Luche nodded his agreement to that. That had gone way better than he was fearing as Selena, Stella and Luna all looked at their fiances with thinly veiled suspicion as they were looking at each other knowingly as they also noticed that Sylva also seemed particularly smug as they all happily enjoyed a very nice friends and family dinner as they discussed baby shower ideas as well as when to plan all the bridal showers and such and made a new, accelerated timeline.

[thewayshedreamed]

This Time— Part 3

A Nessian Fan Fic

Fic Masterlist

This update got away from me quickly, so be warned that it’s a lengthy one! I actually had to break this one up into two parts to make it somewhat reasonable in length, so part 4 will be coming soon! It’s mostly written, I just have to finish it up and do some editing.

Warnings for strong language and some mild sexual content.

——————————————————————————

After her brunch with Azriel, Nesta committed to trying to get back into her usual routines. She allowed herself one less press of the snooze button each morning and made time for an outdoor run each evening. She cooked a small meal for herself each night, packing any leftovers for her lunch the next day. Slowly but surely, she was getting back to good, and she felt pleased overall with her swift improvement considering her mental state of the week prior. 

That’s not to say her mind didn’t wander occasionally to Cassian and the state of their friendship. She challenged herself to feel the emotions those thoughts invoked, process them, but avoid ruminating too much. Admittedly, they ebbed and flowed, alternating between anger and sadness. In that way, moving on from Cassian emulated grief on a certain level, the loss being entirely disruptive to her day-to-day life. She had picked up her phone several times over the course of the week, considering a text to ensure things would be civil for Elain’s birthday party. She thought better of it when she realized that if anyone was skilled in presenting a game face, ever the social diplomat, it was Cassian. She was better off having the “civil” conversation with herself. 

That Saturday morning, she was drinking coffee and scrolling through current events when an alert crossed her screen. It was a group text, including all of their immediate friends, finalizing plans for Elain’s party. They were going to meet at Rita’s around 9pm for drinks since Elain wanted things pretty low-key; however, Mor made promises of a respectable amount of debauchery. 

Around 7:00, Nesta got into the shower, giving herself extra time to sit under the steam and ease any lingering tension. She ran through her plan for keeping her distance from Cassian as best as possible without making things uncomfortable. Thankfully, the hustle and bustle of the bar itself would create a buffer between them, allowing her to maneuver out of his way as smoothly as possible. It still felt so foreign to have these thoughts associated with Cassian, but she would accept nothing less than a drama-free night out for her perfect sister’s birthday. Their dynamic would have to be addressed on another occasion. If ever. 

She shut off the water once it started to chill and wrapped herself in a towel. She used another towel to soak any excess water from her long hair before working a wide-toothed comb through her waves. She tapped the screen of her phone to check the time, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw a notification bearing Cassian’s name on her screen. 

Cassian: Sorry, fam. Just getting out of work and catching up on all these texts. Heading home to shower, then heading to Rita’s to meet you. Remember to save a dance for me, El-Bell!  😘

Unsure of why she half-expected the notification to be anything other than a response in their group chat, Nesta loosed a breath. Their distance over the last two weeks was telling enough, and she knew deep down that he wouldn’t have picked now to break any silence. Ultimately, she decided it was for the best this way. She had gotten through the first contact without having to unpack a ton of emotions she wasn’t comfortable with, so she celebrated the tiny win. 

She turned her attention back to her reflection to decide on her look for the night. She landed on a tousled ponytail, her waves cascading behind her, and a few short tendrils falling naturally around her face. Satisfied with her hair situation, she applied a little make-up, cursing creatively at her liquid eyeliner in the process. Once she applied a sheer gloss, she was ready to tackle wardrobe. She decided on a pair of black high-waisted jeggings, a black, cropped tank, and a casual, dark hunter green blazer.  She slid into black, wedged sandals, put on gold hoops, and grabbed her clutch before walking toward the door. 

She ordered a Lyft, opting for ride share so that she would be likely to get one sooner. She looked at the time: 8:40pm. Rita’s was a little over ten minutes from her apartment, so she had ample time to get a car and arrive without being late. After what seemed like seconds, her phone  beeped with the details of her driver’s car and alerting her that they would be pulling up in a few minutes. She opted to wait outside her apartment, just in case the driver had trouble finding her building. A white sedan pulled up, confirmed she was Nesta, and she slid into the front seat. As her luck would have it, the individuals she was sharing with were in, what looked like, the beginning stages of a very affectionate relationship. She tuned out their soft murmurs, propping her elbow up near the window, used her fingers to prop her head, and kept her attention forward for the rest of the ride. 

———

Nesta was several drinks in and was starting to feel that slow warmth creeping throughout her body. She definitely wasn’t drunk, but she was just buzzed enough to relax into their circle booth as she watched her friends on the dance floor. Elain was dancing animatedly with Feyre, the two spinning each other around and throwing their heads back with laughter. The sight warmed her heart, and she made a mental note to tell them how much she loved them later.

  Oh yea, she was buzzed indeed. 

She glanced over to the others in the booth with her. Amren was to her right, nursing her drink and occasionally laughing at their friends’ antics. Across the circle table was Az, with his forearms crossed and resting on the table. Noticing the small smile on his face, she followed his gaze and landed on Elain. Emboldened by the alcohol, she typed a text and sent it his way. 

N: Would you, for the love of the Cauldron, stop making eyes at my little sister?

She watched him grab his phone, huff a small laugh, and begin typing back to her. 

A: I would, if she wasn’t so perfect. 

He glanced her way, taking a long sip of his beer while he awaited her reaction. Either he was drunk, Nesta thought, or he was trying very hard to get under her skin. She glanced up at him and pantomimed a gag. She saw his shoulders shake a little as he chuckled. 

N: Ew. Have you given her a gift yet?

A: You asked for it. And, no. Why? If you’re about to make any suggestions, you’re too late. I’ve already bought it. 

Nesta scrolled through her GIFs, feeling playful and wanting to watch her friend squirm a little. It only took a few seconds for her to land on the GIF she was looking for: an animation of Justin Timberlake and Andy Samburg for The Lonely Island’s “Dick in a Box”. She added a short caption.

N: I just think this could be a contender. 

She slowly sipped her drink, watching him over the rim of her glass. She saw his phone light up, his eyes scan the texts, and suddenly, he was having to clamp his lips shut to avoid sputtering his beer across the table. Nesta threw her head back and let out a loud laugh. She was feeling quite pleased with herself as he glared at her. 

A: Unbelievable. I’m blocking you. 

Nesta was still chuckling to herself when she noticed Amren’s attention on them. She leaned over to Nesta and deadpanned, “Secrets don’t make friends, you know.” 

Nesta showed the text thread to Amren, much to Azriel’s chagrin. Not only did Amren find just as much amusement in Azriel’s discontent, she fully supported Nesta’s suggestion. They bickered playfully regarding the topic until Amren decided to take matters into her own hands, pushing Azriel out of the booth and stating, “We’re going to join them. Let’s go, Nesta!” Not a request, as per the usual with Amren.

  They made their way through the crowd, finding Elain and Feyre in the middle of the floor. Rhysand, Mor, and Cassian were nearby, having run into their old friend, Kallias. Nesta avoided looking in their general direction, deciding she was in too good a mood to go down that train of thought. Especially with lowered inhibitions and unaddressed emotions.  Bad combination. 

She heard Elain squeal in delight at her joining them on the dance floor, and there was no way she could turn her down seeing the joy on her face. She wasn’t usually one to dance much at all, usually leaning into her role as a wallflower, but she wanted to make her sister as happy as possible on her birthday. 

If I can’t make myself happy these days, at least I could make sure they’re happy. 

She quickly pushed the thought away, deciding there was no room for her cynicism tonight. After dancing for a couple of songs, she realized she needed to use the restroom and let her friends know that’s where she was headed. Before she walked away, she lifted Elain’s arm into the air, spinning her dramatically into Azriel’s unsuspecting form. As she walked away, she heard a loud and high-pitched, “Az! Hi!” She looked over her shoulder to see him bracing her at the waist and Elain throwing her arms around his neck as if he hadn’t been there the entire night.  

Nesta made her way toward the restrooms, finding the door locked. She leaned against the opposite wall, crossing her arms and resting her head back while she waited. Now that she was standing still, she found herself blinking against her clouded vision, brought about by her ever-strengthening buzz. She looked ahead as she heard someone exiting the bathroom, taking longer than she usually would to realize who was in front of her: Tomas Mandray. 

“Nesta? Hey!” Tomas stepped forward to give her a small hug. “Long time, no see!”

Nesta returned the hug, quickly sliding into a mask of politeness as she prepared herself for small talk with someone she hadn’t seen in years. She had dated Tomas for a very brief period of time; nothing too serious. They had been much younger, more immature, but he had been nice enough. They were still too selfish at the time to invest more in each other, and they had ended things mutually. 

“How are you? It’s good to see you!” She pulled back and gave him a small smile. They talked briefly about what they had been doing in recent years, if they had seen any of their old mutual friends, etc., when she felt the presence of another person approaching from her left. It was Tomas who addressed him first.

”Hey, Cassian. How’s it going?” He extended his hand for a brief handshake.

“It’s going, man. Just taking a quick bathroom break.” He turned his gaze to Nesta, greeting her so politely that she could have slapped him. “Hey, Nesta.”

”Hey, Cassian.” She tried to sound as friendly as possible to avoid signaling to Tomas that there was any discord. 

“So, Mandray. What about you? How have you been?” Cassian had shifted his attention back to Tomas quickly, likely with the same goal in mind. 

“Pretty good. I moved for a little while, but I just moved back to Velaris this week for work. I haven’t had much time to get out and about with trying to settle in, but I’m glad to be back.”

”I didn’t realize you’d moved back! I guess we’ll be seeing you around more often!” Cassian gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder. 

“Yea, you all are some of the first people I’ve run into that I still know from before. Nice to see some friendly faces, for sure. Anyway, I won’t keep you.” He looked from Cassian to Nesta, addressing her fully. “Want to get together for dinner soon? Old time’s sake?”

”Oh. Sure! Sounds good.” He seemed satisfied with that answer and walked away.

  Cassian waited until Tomas was walking back into the main area of the bar before he turned to Nesta. She was still leaning against the wall, her foot propped back against it, and arms crossed in front of her chest. Despite her better judgment, she looked up at him and couldn’t help but track her eyes over the angles of his handsome face. Her eyes lingered on the small scar through his eyebrow, traced his cheekbones, jaw, until finally, landing on his hazel eyes.

  “So. Mandray, huh?” She saw the tension in his jaw, likely knowing he had no right to ask the question but wanting to know anyway. 

Her first thought was to tell him to fuck off, but she thought better of it. She still needed to keep her lid on those unaddressed emotions, regardless of the fact that it was busting at the seams now. She schooled her face into indifference and lifted her chin, refusing to shy away from his question. 

“Is that jealousy, Cass? It’s not becoming.” She continued to hold his gaze. She hoped her neutral expression didn’t slip upon hearing his response, his honesty surprising her. 

“Yea. It is.” He huffed a laugh and had the good sense to look sheepish. “How do you expect me not to be jealous? I know too much.” He was scanning her face now, all too similar to how he gauged her reaction that last time they were together. 

“You know too much? What could you possibly know about Tomas? He’s been back in Velaris for all of 10 minutes, and you haven’t heard from him in years. He could be a totally different person.” She kept her tone even, matter of fact.

  He closed the distance between them, bracing his forearm on the wall next to her head. She had to look up slightly to maintain eye contact and felt suddenly assaulted by his familiar scent: something woodsy with hints of smoke and rain. They were so close that she could also smell the whiskey he had been drinking throughout the night. He slid his other hand into his front pocket and shifted his weight casually to one side. 

“I don’t know shit about Mandray, Nes. I’m talking about you and the things that wreck me to think he’d learn about you.”

Although she knew she shouldn’t ask it, the question left her lips. “And just what is it that you know about me?” 

A small smirk graced the side of his mouth, yet his eyes were so earnest that she couldn’t bear to hold the smirk against him. He wet his lips and cleared his throat before answering her. “For starters, the way your body flushes. It usually starts right about here,” he removed his hand from his pocket to touch the center of her chest with his index finger, “and it travels upward to here.” He softly dragged his knuckle from right below where her necklace fell to her collarbone. He shifted his hand to run the pad of his thumb over the prominent bone, toward her shoulder. He gently cupped it near her shoulder seam, softly grazing his palm toward her neck. “All across here.” He moved his large hand to cup the side of her neck, running his thumb over her delicate jaw. “Up here.” He finally slid his hand to cup her face, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb. “And ending up here.” 

She wasn’t sure she was breathing, but she didn’t have it in her to pull away. Not when her blood was singing at his proximity, at his scent, everything. She swallowed hard and tried to steady her breathing. She was only partially aware of someone sweeping past them to occupy the bathroom, effectively gluing her the spot. 

“Then, your breathing starts to pick up. You take deep breaths and release them in soft pants.” He moved his hand to trace the shell of her ear with his thumb, and Cauldron boil her if she didn’t lean in slightly to his caress. He cupped the side of her neck as he dipped his head, their cheeks barely grazing, and lowered his voice. 

“After a while, you start to kill me with your soft moans and your small whines, and you really kill me when my name starts to fall from your lips. That’s when I know you’re close, Nes.”

She wasn’t sure how long she could go with such shallow breaths before passing out on the tile below her, but between that, the tightening in her core, and his small ministrations, she couldn’t imagine that it would be long at all. She could feel his stubble against her cheek and his breath against her ear. His voice was low and raspy, adding to the onslaught of sensations. When she felt his nose graze her temple ever so slightly, her hands moved forward of their own volition, finding their home on his rib cage.

How did this escalate so quickly?

He continued to graze his nose gently over her temple, his lips brushing it as well. “You have the smallest of veins that presents itself right here. Only right before I feel you come for me.”

At his words, she felt herself gripping his shirt tightly around his ribs. He left out a small hiss, then a groan, before the bathroom door flew open again. He shielded her with his body, waiting until the person leaving the bathroom was well into the bar before looking at her. He squeezed his eyes shut, gently shook his head, and cleared his throat. 

“Umm. I think that’s you, Nes,” he said. He started to lean away from her, the moment gone, and she felt the absence of his warmth immediately. Unable to formulate an actual reply, she merely nodded before stepping around him to enter the bathroom. Once inside, she leaned back against the door, begging her brain to catch up with what just happened. She blinked toward the ceiling and breathed deeply to try and cool her blood, a solitary thought playing on a loop in her head.

Oh, fuck.

—————————————————————————

A/N: Hope y’all enjoyed it! I realize this isn’t an ideal place to leave off, but it was the most logical place to break it into parts! I had fun writing a buzzed (approaching drunk) and playful Nesta because I feel like she’s so dynamic. Sometimes I feel like she gets pigeonholed into this one-dimensional, miserable character, but even people who are in pain have their moments where the facets of their personality shine through. I hope that comes through in this chapter!

If you’d like to be tagged in future updates, feel free to reblog, comment, or send me a message! As always, your feedback is welcome as well!

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@polireader // @lord-douglas-the-third // @justgiu12 // @notyournymphetish // @sjm-things // @strangeenemy // @iammissstark // @keshavomit // @sjmships // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @dusty-lightbulb // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @julemmaes

[retrievablememories]

no manners | lucas

title: no manners pairing: lucas x black!reader genre: angst, implied smut request: “Aww thanks✨😊 Hope it’s not too much(I have a wild/creative imagination😌) Could you write a fic where Lucas is married to an African American who lives in America while he’s in China with WayV. One night after a call where Lucas suggests she go out with friends because she’s too lonely, she drinks too much and ends up going home with a stranger. When she wakes up she finds out what she did and a few days later she finds out she’s pregnant 💁🏿‍♀️that being said ain’t do it if it’s weird” word count: 5k warnings: workplace sexism/harassment, infidelity, alcohol use, mentions of intoxicated sex, mentions of pregnancy, emetophobia warning, mentions of blood, medical setting, angst!! just sad shit man a/n: hard to think of a good title, idk. the song’s about a sad relationship so close enough? ion fuck with drake anymore but passionfruit was the soundtrack for this one lol

You wake up in the middle of the night again—you’ve been doing it a lot lately. Your head aches a bit and your throat feels dry. You reach for the bottle of water on your nightstand and drink from it, though it doesn’t make you feel any better.

Pulling the covers back over yourself, you turn towards the empty side of the bed and feel that familiar pain settle in your body again. There are painkillers for physical discomforts, but what do you do for this kind of ache that comes from deep within the heart? You sigh and simply close your eyes, trying to block out the feeling. 

It’s been over 3 months since you’ve seen Lucas in person, which might as well be the equivalent of several lifetimes for you. You knew this was going to be inevitable once you got married, and even while you were still in the dating stage you experienced it. But you’re not sure if you could’ve accounted for just how intense it would feel now. It’s different now. You’ve made a home together—are going to have a family someday—and yet you barely get to spend any time together.

Burrowing deeper under the covers, you curl yourself up as small as possible, as if you can squeeze out the pain by leaving no more room for it.

Even work is bland now. You work at a firm for a fairly popular magazine in your city, and although your duties keep you busy most days, even those things are starting to lose their appeal. Your peers certainly don’t help.

“You look like you’ve been going through it,” Your coworker Daniel says over lunch. Your other coworker, Patrice, elbows them in the side for his indiscretion.

Your jaw clenches. You have to make an effort to relax your body and gather your thoughts before responding. The last thing you need right now is to lose your job, although you already know Lucas could support the both of you if necessary. “I’m fine. Just a little sleep deficit, but I’ll live.”

“Don’t mind him,” Sharia says, rolling her eyes. “We all get a little worn out sometimes. I hope things get better for you soon.”

“I’m just pointing out the obvious,” Daniel interjects, holding his hands up in surrender. “Don’t shoot the messenger. Sharia’s right, though; we all know how you’re feeling.” No, you don’t, you think, resisting the desire to scoff in his face. “Work’s been pretty hectic the past few weeks.”

“Yep, real busy,” you say curtly, not wanting to draw this conversation out further. It’s clear that he thinks he’s making some kind of connection with you, despite him knowing jackshit about anything that’s going on in your life. His presumptuousness has always rubbed you wrong.

“Absolutely. Hopefully the big boss will ease up on us soon here.” You think Daniel is done, but then he speaks again, and Patrice puts her head in her hands. “Anyway, how’s everyone’s home life faring from all this? You and the husband doing all alright?” You know that last statement is specifically for you, and it makes you even more weary.

Sharia shifts uncomfortably as if she can feel the tension you’re experiencing. She’s the only one on your job who knows who you’re married to, as you didn’t want to let your other nosy colleagues in on your life. She’s the only one you can trust to keep your business on your front porch where it belongs. 

“We’re doing fine,” you say, keeping your voice light. “How are you and your girlfriend?”

“Actually—are you sure you and dear husband aren’t having any problems? You know...of the bedroom variety? Maybe that’s part of why you’ve been so stressed lately.”

“Jesus, Daniel!” Patrice exclaims in disbelief.

“You’re way out of line.” Sharia gives Daniel a warning look. “We’re at work, this isn’t gossip hour. I don’t think you need another HR report under your belt.”

You continue to sit with your hands clasped together, digging your nails into the back of your hand and watching the wall clock count down the minutes until the lunch break ends. Still 10 minutes left. If this were any other setting, any other person, you would’ve cursed Daniel out and likely given him a good backhanding, but he knows you can’t do anything here. And that’s precisely why he does it.

“What goes on in our lives is none of your business,” you say slowly, trying to keep your voice even. “I don’t know where you pull this crap from. You should listen to Sharia.”

“I hope that’s not a threat, because we all know the boss doesn’t care,” Daniel scoffs. “I’m not going anywhere, so you girls might as well get used to it.” Thankfully, he decides to take his leave at this point, collecting the rest of his lunch and stalking back to his office.

Patrice and Sharia exchange looks, and you merely sit and continue staring at the clock, watching the hands count to the next hour. It’s all you can do.

You’re relieved when you step through the front door of your house that night. Or maybe relief isn’t the word for it—but there is definitely a sort of deflation that happens once you pass through the threshold. You feel sapped and tired, and you can only think of scraping together whatever leftovers you can find because you’re too tired to cook a new meal.

As you walk into the bedroom, you remember that you and Lucas are supposed to video chat tonight, and that makes you feel a little better, but not as good as it could. You glance at the empty side of the bed and sigh heavily.

The rest of the evening passes by simultaneously too slow and too fast. It’s almost like the weight of your depression is dragging down the rest of the world and making time flow in a strange, nonsensical fashion. You eat your leftovers, watch bad reality TV, and even try to check a few work emails before your mind drifts off again. You keep replaying the events at lunch and getting upset again, though you don’t want to.

By the time the hour for your video call comes along, you’re curled up on the bed holding your phone tightly, waiting for it to ring and your husband’s name to flash across the screen. You answer almost instantly when it finally does.

“Yukhei,” you breathe out once his face appears on screen. The sight of him is enough to make your eyes sting immediately, and your throat is choked off with tears.

“Y/N!” Even through the phone speakers, his voice is loud enough to fill your room, and your sudden laughter at his excitement is enough to make the tears building in your eyes finally fall down. Lucas leans closer to the screen, his features drawing into a concerned expression. “Oh, shit—Y/N, what’s wrong?!”

You’ve stopped laughing now but the tears keep flowing, and you wipe your eyes futilely. For a while, all you can do is shake your head and keep crying as Lucas coos to you on the other end of the phone, growing increasingly concerned about your emotional state.

You put the phone down to wipe your face, and only then are you able to calm down enough to speak. “I just hate everything.”

Lucas frowns. “What do you hate, baby?”

“This fucking job, I hate Daniel, I hate being talked to like I’m an idiot, I hate…I hate you not being here.” You pick up the phone again. Your head hurts from crying, and you put your forehead in your hand as you look at Lucas on the other line.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish I could be there with you. You know I’d kick his ass for you...and anyone else who makes my baby cry.” He sighs and chuckles, though there’s no real humor to it. “Maybe I should kick my own ass too, then. I’m always away from you, and I know that doesn’t help. There are moments everyday when I wish I was there beside you, but…”

“It’s not like you can help it,” you say, and you feel powerless to do anything about it. “You shouldn’t...feel bad about it.” If only you could take your own advice.

“It’s impossible not to.” Lucas’s fingers drift to his wedding ring, twisting it around his finger like he does whenever he’s distressed. It’s become a subconscious thing for him at this point, but you always notice, and it comforts you to know your relationship can be a solace for him. “I have the other guys here, and it helps, but...who do you talk to when you’re feeling alone, besides me?”

“Ugh…” You lean back against the headboard. “No one, really...I don’t want to bother Sharia with my issues. Or my other friends. I feel like everyone already has their own stuff to deal with…”

Lucas leans forward again, as if he’s talking to you face-to-face. “My dear wife, I won’t pretend to be your therapist, but I think I have a prescription for you.”

You laugh and shake your head. “And what would that be?”

“You should go out. Take a few days off from work, leave the house, do whatever. But I really think you need to be around other people.”

“Go out?”

“Yes, with your friends! You’re cool with some people from work—Sharia, at least. Or your college friends, if not your coworkers. Anyone. I don’t want you to be spending all your time alone.” A melancholy note enters his voice. “And since I can’t be with you now, I want you to at least get out without me.”

“I don’t know...”

“What’s wrong?”

“The problem is that I miss you. Going someplace where you aren’t isn’t gonna help.”

“You’re so stubborn,” Lucas says, but his voice is warm with affection. “Just do it for me, please? You don’t think it hurts me to see my lovely wife so upset? I only want you to be happy.”

Your heart warms at that, and you look up at the ceiling, not wanting to start another wave of tears. “Well, okay...you’re right. I’ll try it this weekend. But I’m still gonna be thinking of you the whole time.”

Lucas smiles. He brings his ring finger close to the camera and kisses the band of metal. “For life, right?”

You mirror his actions. “Always.”

The next day, you catch up with Sharia at the copy machine. 

“Hey girl, how are you doing?” she asks, feeding more paper into the machine. “Not too bad after what that fool said yesterday, I hope.”

The mention of that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, but you shake your head and pretend to brush it off. “I’m fine, no one’s thinking about that sleaze. I was wondering if you were up for hanging out this Friday? It’s kinda short notice, but me and some friends are planning to go to a club…”

Her eyes light up at that. “Oh? Which club are y’all going to?”

“The one on the same street as that new five-star restaurant that just opened up. Apparently it’s a bit exclusive, but one of my friends claims to have direct connections, so we’re gonna try it out.”

“Oh, to be rich and glamorous.” Sharia laughs. “Sure, I’ll go. I’m always up for some fun. Anything that’s not this damn job.”

“Great! You know where I live, just swing by around 8?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Sharia looks like she wants to say something else, but Daniel strolls into the room and she rolls her eyes, quickly turning back to the copy machine.

“Hey ladies, what’s going on?” Daniel leans against the wall as if he plans to pull a long conversation out of you, but you shake your head and walk out.

“Bye, Daniel.”

Sharia follows suit, grabbing her documents out of the machine and not even checking if they’re correct before following you out. “Yeah, not gonna happen.”

The Friday night that you head to the club is unexpectedly hot. It rained hard earlier that day and the air is still thick with humidity, which makes you grateful you’re gonna be spending most of your time indoors. Your friend’s connections come in to save the day, just as she promised, and your group of five is soon standing in the club without having to wait in a hot line all night.

Your friend leads everyone over to the VIP section and you all sit down, marveling at the club’s sleek interior. Everything is all glitter and glass and steel, giving the building an almost futuristic look.

“We need some drinks, there’s no way I’m spending all night in a club like this sober,” one of the girls suggests. The others agree and spend a few minutes playfully arguing over which drinks would be best to get before standing up.

Your friend notices you’re still sitting down. “Are you two coming with, or do you want us to order for you?”

“Just order something for me, doesn’t matter what it is,” you say, waving your hand. Sharia agrees. She waits until the others leave, then turns to you with a serious look.

“You should quit.” You stare at her, wondering if maybe you’ve misheard over the loud music.

“Quit? My job? Do you hate having me around that much?” you joke, though you feel confused and a little hurt.

“Now you know—what I’m saying is, we both know who your man is. I think you would be fine if you just quit and started looking for another job or even stopped working for a while. There’s no reason why you should have to stay there and keep putting up with Daniel’s shit.”

You don’t hate the idea. It’s one you’ve thought of numerous times before, but you’re not confident about taking the first step towards it. “I don’t think it’s that simple...having a job keeps me busy. I’d probably die of boredom if I didn’t have work. And anyway, I’m not really ready to be a housewife...especially considering that my husband isn’t even there half the time.” Your mood drops a little when you think of this. Sharia notices and tries to pull you back before you lose steam before the night even starts.

“Hey hey, it’s just a suggestion! You don’t have to do anything except whichever choice will be easiest for you. I’m just trying to look out for you girl, God knows no one wants to be harassed on the job everyday.”

“I hear you. But I don’t want to think about this anymore,” you groan. 

When the other girls come back, you take your drink and immediately down half of it in one go. You need something to distract you from the bad mood attempting to creep up on you.

“Well damn, okay! Someone’s eager!” you friend shouts, and everyone else laughs.

The rest of the night goes similarly, quickly spiraling out of your hands before you can really realize it. The alcohol makes you unable to think about any one thing for too long, which is what you want—maybe even need. You lose track of how many drinks you have and how many songs you dance to. All you can feel is the burning in your throat and the blissful emptiness of not having to think, worry, or stress. For once.

At some point, someone’s hands are on your body and you think maybe it’s one of your friends, but none of them would touch you like this—or kiss you like this. It’s not Lucas either, it can’t be because he’s still in China isn’t he? but you want it to be Lucas, it should be Lucas, so you return the kiss anyway, and there’s more touching and feeling—

until you end up in someone’s car, a taxi maybe, it’s not the car you came in but that doesn’t matter either, just the hands and the sensation of it all, of being touched by a person other than yourself when you haven’t felt it in a long time—

and maybe if you close your eyes for long enough it will be him.

The first thing you notice is the splitting sensation in your head. You don’t remember how you got into your bed or how much you had last night, but you haven’t experienced a hangover like this since your college years, so it must’ve been a lot. You groan and bring your hands to your head, also noticing that your bonnet is nowhere to be found. You must’ve been really wasted last night.

You reach for the water on your nightstand, but it’s not there. In fact, nothing’s there. Your hand meets air, and you suddenly feel slightly alarmed—where’s your nightstand? You finally crack one eye open only to see a room entirely different from the one in your home. 

You jolt up, which only makes your head throb harder, but you can’t be bothered with that right now when you’re in a strange place. Pure panic explodes in your chest as you look to the side and see a strange man sleeping next to you in bed—his bed. You can only see his top half, but you can assume he’s naked underneath, as you are equally nude.

“Fuck, no,” you blurt out. You throw the covers back and move as fast as you can to collect your strewn clothes, not really caring if you wake the man up at this point. You just know you’ve got to get the hell out.

You pull your clothes on and dial for an Uber on your phone, sprinting out of the bedroom just as the man starts rustling in the bedsheets. You realize his place is some sort of luxury apartment, which means he’s probably one of the many famous or semi-famous men who frequents that club. That idea makes you panic more as you unlock the door and run out of it; you don’t have the patience to wait on the elevator, so you take the stairs two at a time.

You’re full-on shaking by the time you get to the bottom and end up outside on the sidewalk. Some people passing by give you sideways glances at your presumed Walk of Shame, with you still wearing your club outfit, but there’s no room to think about their judgment. You’re too busy being eaten alive by your conscience.

The ride home is mostly silent. Your driver tries to strike up a conversation at first, but they realize you’re in no state to talk and leave you to your thoughts. With your hangover, the sun’s brightness feels like nails stabbing into your skull, but the pain gripping your heart still manages to be worse.

Your wedding ring feels especially heavy on your finger, like solid lead weighing you down. You badly want to take it off, but you also don’t want to remove one of the few things tying you to Lucas right now. The conflict tears you apart. You almost feel like your ring has become a sentient thing, burning your skin and pinching your finger with the threat of cutting it clean off.

You scrub yourself for what seems like an hour after you get home. When you finally get out of the shower, you end up in the armchair in your room, sitting in your towel and simply staring at the bed. Lucas’s side of the bed. The side of the bed where a picture of you two sits framed on the nightstand, one you took on the day of your wedding shoot. It seems to mock you now, saying, Look at what a good thing you had. Look at what you’ve destroyed.

The ring burns again.

Monday feels surreal in a sickly way.

You don’t call or text anyone over the weekend—not even your friends who are worried and demanding answers for what happened at the club. You feel like maybe you shouldn’t be, but you’re angry at their demands; why didn’t anyone stop you if they were so concerned? Weren’t they all there, too? Either way, it’s too late to think about “what ifs.” What’s done is done. You don’t want to talk or think about it anymore. But that’s impossible.

Stepping into work doesn’t feel real. No one knows anything except Sharia. All your colleagues still greet you like you’re the same person, the same hardworking employee and loving wife they all know. It’s better that they don’t know, but in some irrational way, this also makes you angry. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t treat me like I’m the same person. My life is ruined; nothing can ever be the same.

Nevertheless, you interact with them all like it’s any other Monday and play along with their tired banter even when you want to scream to the world that none of this matters. You do a decent job of avoiding Sharia during the first half of the day, occupying your time with assignments and then creating busywork when you finish those. 

Until lunch. Then there’s nowhere left to run.

You go to your car with the excuse of picking up your food today—even though you don’t intend to do anything but sit in the parking lot—and no one questions it but her. She follows you outside. You don’t even have the energy to tell her no. You’re at least glad that she doesn’t speak until both of you are safely in the car and away from other ears.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know if that matters,” you say blankly.

“Well, it does. You might have made a terrible mistake, but you’re still human.”

“There’s no way to be okay after this. Sharia, what the fuck am I gonna tell him?”

“There’s nothing you can tell him but the truth. He deserves to know that much, at least.”

“I can’t do it.”

“Y/N, it’s better to get this over with sooner than later. It’s only going to hurt worse if you wait. What would you do anyway, just ignore his calls?”

You grip the steering wheel. “...Maybe. If I have to. I don’t know.”

Sharia sighs. “I can’t tell you what to do with your life. But he will need to know at some point.”

“He’ll hate me,” you blurt out, a tear already rolling down your cheek. You try to stop them from coming, but this is the first time you’ve allowed yourself to cry since it happened. You’ve surprised even yourself with how long you avoided this part. The dam has no choice but to break, sending you into a cascade of tears as you rest your head on the steering wheel. 

Sharia’s arms are warm around you, but her embrace does nothing to make you feel better. You feel as if you don’t deserve this kind of reprieve from her. And certainly not from Lucas.

A couple weeks later, you sit in your OBGYN’s waiting room, your body stiff with fear and anxiety.

You haven’t talked to Lucas in the entire time since you went to the club that Friday night. You know there is no way he’d go that long without talking to you, though—which is why you blocked him on every avenue you could think of. To be safe, you also blocked all of this group members, making sure there would be no way for him to get into contact with you. 

You feel like you’ve lost your mind with the lengths you’ve gone to—what if he thinks you’re kidnapped or dead?—but you’re more afraid of facing him. The thought of looking in his eyes while your transgression swims in the back of your mind makes your stomach pitch to the floor.

And you would like to think that’s the only thing making you sick these days. But you can’t ignore the odd pains and nausea and sudden spotting even if you wanted to. It’s what has landed you in this doctor’s office today, with your hands tucked between your knees and your head spinning as you try to ignore the bitter taste of bile rising in your throat. 

Eventually, you can no longer push it back, and you go to the bathroom to empty your stomach—even though there’s not much there to begin with.

When you leave the restroom, a nurse is standing outside in the lobby, her expectant eyes landing on you.

“Mrs. Wong?”

“That’s me,” you say weakly.

“Hi! Come on back so we can get your vitals. I hope you’re doing okay today…” You follow her into the back rooms to get poked and prodded, your blood pressure and temperature taken and your height and weight jotted down on a chart. You don’t pay much attention to what she’s saying. Every word sounds like it’s being filtered through a foggy telephone. 

You return to reality when she hands you the transparent cup and the pregnancy test to take, and things become even more painfully clear when another nurse comes in to take your blood. You know the blood test results will take longer to come back, but you requested it anyway. You have to be sure.

Despite the nurses’ cheerful demeanor, you feel cold and isolated when you use the test in the small restroom. The feeling only worsens when the doctor confirms the reading and happily shakes your hand, unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge your dread.

It’s positive.

That weekend, you finally unblock Lucas. Your mind is in a tangle while you do it, but you can’t avoid him any longer.

You don’t know if he’ll even answer your call. You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. Maybe he’s busy with practice or even asleep. But what makes you feel worse is that you know he’d never ignore you if he wasn’t otherwise occupied.

His name only stays on your phone for a few seconds before he’s immediately picking up the video call, his face suddenly appearing in full color before you. He seems panicked, almost dropping the phone in his haste to answer it. When he rights the screen again and sets it on a steady surface, his expression is difficult to decipher. Then it turns into pure discontent.

“Do you have an explanation for this?” You’ve never seen Lucas this irritated before, and it makes you tremble. It can only get worse from here. “I called and texted and nothing got through. I look on your social media and I’m blocked on every platform. What is this, Y/N?”

You can only shake your head. The words are stuck in your throat. You chew the inside of your cheek, unsure how to respond.

“This isn’t a joke, Y/N. What’s going on?”

Your grip on the phone tightens as your stomach ties itself into a knot. You feel sick again, but you can’t throw up now. “Yukhei, I went t-to the doctor, I-I’m pregnant.”

Lucas pauses, and various emotions flit across his face in the span of a few seconds. His eyebrows draw together in something akin to confusion and hurt. “You’re...pregnant? Why the hell did you need to block me for that? Please don’t tell me this about my career again. Baby, listen to me—”

“Yukhei, I’m only 4 weeks.”

Lucas’s words drop off completely. His body stills, and for a moment you wonder if the video has paused. Your palms sweat and your skin prickles. He sits back in his chair and looks off to the side as if he’s trying to gather words. Finally, he says,

“What are you telling me? Because this isn’t what I’m hearing, is it? This is some kind of prank, right?” His voice gets louder and more frantic towards the end, though he struggles to keep from outright yelling at you. “If you want to play games, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can say—there’s no excuse for it, but I was drunk, I-I was lonely, I just don’t know—” You form a fist with your left hand, digging your nails into your palm, and the warm metal of your ring against your skin threatens to burn you again.

Lucas lowers his head and pushes his hands through his hair. He keeps his head down like this for a while as you stumble and try to explain yourself, your words devolving into barely decipherable sobs.

“Shut up. Just shut up!” His words are muffled from him covering his face. He’s never talked to you like that before, which makes you want to cry more, but you don’t say another word. “I just don’t want to hear it. I’ve sat here everyday and thought of you, counting down days until I could come back to the U.S. to see you, and this is what you give me.”

You merely sit and listen with your heart trying to burst in your chest. His words feel like knives being thrown at you; the pain is practically physical.

When he finally takes his hands away from his face and looks up, his eyes are wet and red with tears. “This is impossible. I need time to think about this.”

“I-impossible? Wait, Yukhei—”

He hangs up the call before you can finish speaking, though you aren’t sure what more you could’ve said to him anyway.

With nothing but your screen staring back at you, a sense of unease seeps into your body and makes your limbs stiff. You want to reach out for him, want to make him see that you never intended to hurt him this way. You don’t want to lose everything you’ve built this soon. And yet, you can already see it all slipping through your hands.

You are more alone than ever.

[quietrainfan]

Unsymptober Day 6: Mind Control

Trigger Warnings: Unsympathetic Patton, Mind Control, Forced self harm, Blood, Knives, Dehumanization, Verbal/Emotional/Physical abuse, Gaslighting.

Note: Beginning is after Accepting Anxiety and end is after DWIT.

Once Virgil had formed an understanding with the Light Sides, he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Of course this didn't mean all of their feuds were resolved. There was still the issue of Janus and Remus needing Thomas to be aware of them and accepting them as facets of his personality. Not to mention the tense relationship between them and the Light Sides. Hopefully, though, this could lead to the Lights to open up to the idea of understanding Janus and Remus as well. 

 

The anxious side opened the door that served as a barrier in the mind palace between the Darks and Lights. Virgil couldn't help the amused smirk that stretched across his lips as the spooky- most would call absolutely terrifying- sound echoed from inside the long pitch black hallway, confirming that the thing entering was another Dark Side. Janus had put a protective spell on their door that had been there- since forever, really- as a precaution in case the Lights tried to sneak in. It was strong enough that even Virgil had a difficult time getting in every once in a while. Thankfully, though, Janus could sense when it was him and can let him in at any time. 

 

Virgil shut the door behind him, the usual yellow glow around the rimms flashed for a brief second before disappearing, leaving the anxious side in complete blackness. The lengthy hallway was freezing and there were always sounds of...something growing along the walls. Virgil was able to proceed without a care, though. Maybe it was because his purple irises that were made to help him see in the dark automatically switched on by instinct or that he was just used to the atmosphere of the Dark Side home. Probably both. 

 

"Hey, hey! Look who's home! Say, Dee, ya think I should melt into the wall and try and spook 'im when he gets to the living room?!~"

 

"You do realize he can hear you, Remus. It wouldn't be much of a surprise. And no, I've already spoken to you about melting into the walls."

 

"Aw, you're no fun!"

 

Virgil rolled his eyes, the smirk never leaving his face at the familiar voices echoing in the distance. He finally made it to the aforementioned common room and waved at the two taller figures waiting for him. 

 

"I'm home.", Virgil greeted, letting out an 'oof' as Remus wrapped an aggressive- but affectionate- arm around his shoulders.

 

"Hey there, tiny! Took ya long enough!", The creative side pulled him closer for a rough noogie, laughing as Virgil tried to break free to no avail. 

 

"Augh, Remus! Let go!"

 

"How did it go today? I hope they didn't give you too much trouble.", Janus approached the two shorter sides with crossed arms.

 

 His voice was even and calm but Virgil could tell Janus was on the defensive, for his sake, against the Lights. He always was when he returned. The things Virgil told him of his experience with them had his protective elder brother mode cranked up to a million. 

 

Virgil snapped out of his annoyance towards Remus at the question, "Uh...yeah, about that. We need to talk."

 

"What did they do?", Remus had loosened his grip on Virgil a bit, his tone quickly went from playful to low and dangerous. Which prompted Virgil to explain before he did anything that would reverse all the progress they made. 

 

"N-Nothing! Well- not nothing but….", The anxious side saw their eyes narrow and he cleared his throat, freeing himself from Remus's embrace, standing up straight and rubbing his neck nervously, "Uh, so- They kind of...accepted me? They came looking for me and we talked. Thomas is no longer resisting my spot at the discussion table."

 

Remus scoffed, "Yeah, right. After all that?"

 

"I was skeptical at first, too.", Virgil admitted, "But they really made a genuine effort to understand me."

 

The creative side wasn't buying it, turning to Janus. The deceitful side nodded, "From what I can tell he's being truthful, Remus. And I doubt he'd speak of it if he didn't feel like all of this was for certain."

 

Virgil was calmed by Janus's ever present rationality. But he knew this conversation wasn't over. "Although", He began again, "I am curious about what they said about the rest of us."

 

The anxious side bit his lip. 

 

Janus's expression softened, "It's alright. Take your time."

 

Virgil sighed, "They-well, Roman, really- said that I was nothing...compared to you guys."

 

Remus chuckled bitterly, leaning against the wall, "Fucking typical. What'd I tell you?"

 

"I understand and trust me, share your anger, Remus. But they were not only willing to hear Virgil out but also came looking for him after he, to them at least, went missing.", Janus turned back to Virgil, "Remember that this is for Thomas's sake and working as a unit is far more efficient than doing it separately. Regardless of how...strained our family ties are."

 

Virgil responded with a smile which the taller side returned. He knew Janus would be understanding but it was still relieving to hear out loud. The deceitful side was known to be incredibly protective of all of them and unapologetic about his opinion towards the Lights. But thankfully that didn't mean he wasn't unwilling to make amends, provided they offered the same courtesy. 

 

"So we're letting them in just like that?", Remus protested.

 

Janus laughed, "Absolutely not. I'm not going to let go of all the bitterness I feel simply because they were nice once to one of us. They have quite a ways to go to earn my trust and even longer to earn my respect.", He layed a gentle hand on Virgil's shoulder, "But what happened is worth noting."

 

Remus hummed, still skeptical of the whole thing, "We're going to still have to worm our own way in. Plus Thomas isn't even conscious of us yet."

 

Janus nodded, "Naturally. We can't just have our stormcloud being the middle-man for us forever.", A fond smile stretched on his face at Virgil's small grunt in response to his pet name.

 

"Eh, whatever.", Remus sighed, "You're the boss. If it means I can get my ideas heard, I don't really care how."

 

"Very good.", Janus clasped his hands together, "Now, it's been a long day. We'll discuss this further in the morning."

 

The three sides separated for the evening. Virgil distinctly remembered the following morning. They had started discussing ways to ease Thomas into accepting the parts of himself that he blocks out and working from there to get the others to follow suit. Virgil still had the memory of the last thing he said to them. 

 

"I certainly hope any of these scenarios will work. Virgil, are you sure about this?"

 

"Yeah, no worries. Leave it to me. I just don't want you guys to have to hide anymore."

 

Leave it to me. 

 

He had said. And he meant it. He would've followed through with his promise but he didn't anticipate the situation he managed to get himself into. 

 

Virgil was speaking to Patton while they got together for a movie marathon. Everything happened so fast. He brought up the Dark Sides, their recent reconciliation, and the possibility of them being able to come to an understanding since he was accepted. Before he could read Patton's expression as his smile fell, Virgil...felt something change in him. The anxious side wasn't able to decipher what at the time but by the time he had, it was already too late. 

 

"I don't think you should trust them, kiddo. Stay with us."

 

That was all he said. Virgil opened his mouth to try and defend the others, try to convince Patton that it was possible for everyone to get along. But the words died in his throat. What came out instead shocked the anxious side.

 

"You're right, Patton. I'm so glad to finally be away from them. Thanks for...embracing me and giving me a proper family.", Virgil had a hard time processing what he said. He hadn't meant a single word of it yet his tone, body language, and expression reflected his words perfectly. 

 

"Your welcome, kiddo.", Patton smiled warmly at him. 

 

"I didn't mean any of that. Patton, the others can be trusted, you guys just need to give them a chance."

 

"Honestly, I don't know why I stayed with them for so long. All they did was cause trouble and made me miserable.", A spiteful growl left Virgil's lips. 

 

The anxious side thought he saw Patton's warm smile fade slightly. 

 

"Maybe because you didn't have any other option.", Patton smiled sadly, "We didn't give you any. We had no idea how horrible you had it. But now we do and there's no need to worry anymore. We won't let them hurt you."

 

The moral side placed a comforting hand on his knee, "I promise."

 

"They've never hurt me! I was perfectly fine! I just wanted respect. And they deserve the same!"

 

"I'm….still afraid, Pat.", Virgil mentally swore. What the hell was going on?!

 

"I know. But I'll always be here. And so will Roman and Logan."

 

"Thanks. That makes me feel a little better.", Virgil finally returned his smile. 

 

"No, you all are part of the problem. I'll never feel comfortable if I have to choose between two halves of my family!"

 

His true feelings were locked up nice and tight. Virgil learned very quickly that what he actually thought was met with consequences. Nasty ones. Patton pulled him aside after everyone had fallen asleep. 

 

"I'm sure you've caught on by now, Virgil.", The moral side said simply, "Unfortunately, as I predicted, you aren't weak enough to convince completely. You still have some free will in there. You Dark Sides really are a pain."

 

He adjusted his glasses with a sigh but smiled brightly nonetheless, "But that's a-okay! I've got a little back up! If you're going to be our family Virgil, I'll have to set some rules first!", Patton handed him a small pocket knife, "Hurt yourself."

 

Virgil blinked at the request. Patton's sweet smile remained, "For every forbidden thought you have, you are to hurt yourself with varying severity."

 

The anxious side's blood went cold. Judging by his expression, Patton wasn't kidding. "Hmm, since you had three forbidden thoughts today, let's start off with three wounds. Do it.", He commanded. 

 

Virgil's hand moved, despite him trying to fight back against the urge forced on him. He reached for his face, ready to cut just below his eye but the moral side caught his wrist, guiding it back down. 

 

"Ah, ah, kiddo. Not on areas where others can see.", Patton purred, "We wouldn't raise suspicion now, would we?"

 

He guided the anxious side's hand down further. , "Here. Your stomach. I think there's a good start."

 

Patton released him, watching as Virgil lifted his shirt. "Under your belly button, Virge. Since you had the guts to bring them up in a positive light."

 

Virgil's teeth sank into his bottom lip as he penetrated his skin, dragging it along to the other side, hot blood already beginning to soak his lower half.

 

"Your chest now, kiddo. One under and one in the center."

 

Virgil complied, holding back a scream as the excruciating pain shot through him. Patton let it drag on, taking his sweet time in telling him to stop. 

 

"Okey dokey!~ That's enough for now.", Patton clapped. 

 

Virgil stopped on command. He made a mess, though it was nothing compared to the agony he felt. His blood was still gushing out of him, the sight, the pain, made him burst into quiet tears. 

 

Patton's smile remained but he rolled his eyes, "Oh, hush. You're a Dark Side, you've had worse and those wounds will heal almost right away.", The moral side pat his cheek, "Now go clean up and head to bed. We have some filming to do tomorrow."

 

Patton began to walk away but stopped briefly, "Oh, and welcome to the family!"

 

With that, he left. 

 

From then on Virgil was forced to treat the Dark Sides exactly how Patton did. He didn't know how long Patton had him under control but it was apparently it was long enough that Janus had decided to take things into his own hands and make an appearance. Virgil was so overwhelmed with joy, he had completely forgotten the situation he was trapped in. 

 

"Dee! I'm so happy to see you!"

 

"Anyone who doesn't understand that should just shut up.", Virgil felt sick to his stomach. No, no!

 

The hurt on Janus's face filled him with so much guilt, "Virgil...it's me.", He said with an uncertain, broken voice, pointing to himself. , "Aren't we friends?"

 

"Of course we are! More than that, we're family!"

 

Virgil scoffed, "I'm not so sure we are."

 

Janus proceeded in his attempt to convince Thomas on his own and all Virgil could do was sit there, wishing he could scream that he didn't mean it.

 

Eventually, Janus being the clever snake he was, found his own way of having his voice heard. Virgil was happy, proud even but the guilt he felt was awful. If he had been there, this transition period would have been a lot smoother and they could've worked on it together. 

 

Patton was having none of it. The more obvious it became that the Dark Sides were getting closer to their goal, the more he doubled down on Virgil behaving more and more cruel forcing him to take his side at every turn. 

 

And every time Virgil wanted to shout that he was being controlled. That he didn't mean a word of it. He desperately wanted to embrace Janus and Remus and apologize for every nasty thing he was forced to say to them. 

 

And every time he thought that way, Patton punished him. There was nothing he could do. He may be stuck like this forever, regardless if the others were accepted or not. Patton would find a way to use him to undo all their progress. 

 

----

 

"Virgil really just abandoned us all and cozied up to ol' four eyes, huh?", Remus snarled with disgust. 

 

Janus hummed with agreement, resting his chin on his conjoined fingers, "Yes, it seems so.", He turned to the shorter side, "You know why, right?"

 

Remus kicked the chair next to him, " 'Course. I ain't fucking stupid! But what are we going to do? Personally, I just want to charge in there and beat the shit out of him until he lets Virgil go. But I'm guessing you're looking for something more tactful."

 

Janus, "Leave it to me, Remus. We'll go with the original plan of getting the other's defenses down."

 

"And Virgil?"

 

"We'll set him free, rest assured. But as you said we can't just rush into this. There's also the subject of demasking Patton's true nature. We'll have to settle that first if we want a solution long term."

 

"It sounds like Virgil's going to have to hang in there for awhile.", Remus gripped his sleeve in frustration. 

 

"Yes, with you watching over him."

 

Remus blinked, surprised. 

 

Janus merely smirked, "I trust you can protect him as much as possible in the meantime. Just...try not to be too obvious. I don't want to put our stormcloud in any further danger."

 

Remus beamed, pounding his chest proudly, "Roger that, cap!"

 

"Good.", Janus turned away from his younger sibling with a frown, "It'll be a long road but eventually, he will pay."

 

The deceitful side looked down, rubbing his thumb along the old hoodie Virgil had left behind. "Stay strong, Virgil."

@unsympathetic-october-2020

[tigerdrop]

weird question but i was thinking of making a ~secret~ sideblog 4 18+ stuff (bcs i would get kicked out of multiple groups if they found out i was making it :flushed:) bcs u gave me brainworms, but i was wondering how much people are weirdos to u about it/ how rabid anon hate is bc i wanna make sure it doesnt give me a mental illness moment lmao

uhhh well good question! it was really fucking bad shortly after i posted my first fic, not gonna lie. and honestly it was only after wayne himself made a post on here clarifying that NSFW stuff might be weird, but its not, like, immoral, and that people should stop harassing us, that people finally started easing the fuck off.

(this was shortly after getting callout posts about me making this stuff that blew up LMAO.......like i was keeping it a secret when my pinned post literally says exactly what i make)

and nowadays i get almost nothing in the way of shitty messages. they come and go in waves but for the most part most of the people who have a bone to pick with the shit i make have blocked me or given up the fight. i would say that at this point the worst shit i deal with is people being, like, creepy/invasive/overly sexual in my inbox. i ignore most of it but it is there.

if u dont have a relatively thick skin or a decent group of friends to have ur back, it can be hard! especially if youre writing or drawing more controversial content. you dont wanna be the guy having multi-day meltdowns b/c you got a mean comment on a niche fetish fic LMAO but on the flipside it was genuinely draining and depressing to be subjected to so much of it. thankfully now i be thriving

dont push yourself to make shit public if youre worried about the fallout - its honestly not worth the stress of forcing yourself. but all in all its really not that bad anymore. there are some people who still cling to it being Fucked Up And Freakish to make this stuff, but theyre easy to block and they never have anything more creative to say than calling u a freak. honestly it gets boring. you can just call me a fag instead of dancing around it, its ok, its kinda sexy bro

edit: also one thing to consider is that a lot of the people railing against it publicly were/are secretly super into this shit. a lot of it is just an act. i know a bunch of fucking people on this website who had a lot of shit to say about me 2 months ago who are now drawing hlvrai dick like their lives depend on it. good for them i guess but im still bitter and vindictive and think that they can continue to suck my nuts

[franstastic-ideas]

I’m Telling the Tooth!

Underfell AU - Sans’s gold tooth gets knocked out during a physical confrontation with a rude human. Unfortunately for him, this means a trip to the dentist’s, and Asgore isn’t the only monster that feels uneasy about dental work. Anesthesia is required for the procedure, and when he wakes up, he makes a lot of loving claims about her that Frisk can’t really believe are true. He says he likes her. He really likes her. He loves her. He wants to marry her. He’s skipping more than a few integral steps of the courting process.

Word Count: 15,829

Warnings: An attempted kidnapping and assault, one instance of a minor curse word, and at one point late into the story it seems as though the narrative will begin to veer into themes of suicide.

Other than that, this is pure fluff with a small spoonful of angst.

It had began as what was supposed to have been a relatively simple shopping trip at the local mall.

 But it had ended as anything but that.

 Frisk had taken the skeleton brothers along with her because they insisted on tagging along, telling her they had some errands to run as well. Except the two had never been out in public quite like this since coming to the surface and they stuck by her like baby chicks to their mother. After about an hour of this, she had finally managed to squeeze away from them long enough to use the restroom.

 It was after she exited the restroom and was finding her way back that the trouble began.

 “Hey. You. Pretty girl.”

 She continued walking; whoever it was that spoke had obviously not been speaking to her.

 “Hey, I’m talking to you. Where you going, baby?” A man with a somewhat muscular build abruptly stepped out from his hiding place and in front of her, blocking her way with a smile and a gleam in his eye that made her insides churn with unease.

 “Um, I…” Even after her adventures in the Underground, she still wasn’t good at dealing with confrontation.

 But then again, she knew that monsters really were different than humans. The monsters she had dealt with on her journey had been at times violent, hateful, and rude, but so were a sizable portion of humans. The grand difference between them was, the monsters had understandable reasons for their unscrupulous behavior. Humans, more often than not, didn’t need a reason.

 And Frisk never liked to judge anyone by their appearance or judge to quickly on the first impression, but she could tell from a single glance and the manner in which that one question was said that this man was nothing but a troublemaking creep.

 She needed to get away from this guy, maybe alert someone of her presence, but didn’t it just figure that he would approach her when next to no one was around?

 “How about you and I go somewhere quiet together, huh?”

 He reached out to touch her, perhaps take her by the arm, but she quickly sidestepped him.

 “Leave me alone.” She gave him the most disinterested glare that she could muster, but he had the gaul to laugh at her.

 “Oh, you’re a feisty girl! I like that. It’s no fun when they don’t fight back a little.”

 She’d had enough of this nonsense. Frisk slipped past him, but she didn’t get very far before her arm was grabbed harshly, fingernails digging painfully into the flesh and her entire body was yanked backwards and pressed roughly into his chest. She thrashed and squirmed furiously, attempting to kick, bite, punch and scratch to escape his grip with little results. He laughed cruelly at her, his other hand reaching over to clench her shoulder tightly with enough force that she was certain it would leave more bruises. She took a breath, ready to shout for help, but he clamped his other hand over her mouth and hissed,

 “You try to scream, and I’ll snap your neck right here.” This man definitely had the build to do so, and she didn’t want to find out if he was bluffing or not. “Now when I move my hand, are you going to try to scream?”

 She furiously shook her head, her heart and SOUL thumping wildly in her chest out of fear.

 “Good girl. Now, you’re gonna pretend that you’re my girl. So quit squirming around and looking so miserable before people start staring. You’ve got an awfully pretty face, and it’d be a shame if you forced me to break it.”

 Once he removed his hand from her mouth, it shifted to her now aching shoulder, to her back, all the way down her spine, and then the small of her back. Thankfully, he didn’t get to move his hand any lower before…

 Frisk heard her captor let out a pained yowl and she was immediately released. Disentangling herself from the loose hold around her that remained, she came face to face with one of the skeletons she had left behind just minutes earlier in another part of the store. Sans had caught the man’s wandering hand and was bending it backwards at an angle that was sure to be uncomfortable.

 “now, i understand more than anybody that babydoll here’s got a gorgeous rear view…” Frisk would have normally scolded him for such a crude statement, but the sheer venom in his voice had shocked her into silence for the moment. “but, that don’t mean you can jus’ go and grab her anywhere any ol’ way you like.”

 Sans began twisting his arm as if it had the same flexible properties as rubber, his expression appearing at first glance to be the very image of calmness, but the anger bubbling underneath and in his tone was eerily evident if one were to take another look. Normally, he allowed his expressions to twist and fluctuate with his emotions. Normally, he permitted his volume to gradually rise and fall along with his temper. Sans’s expression, an uncomfortably wide toothy smile accompanied by violently trembling red pinpricks which served as his pupils that were just barely visible in the blackness of his large eye sockets still seemed far too relaxed, and his words were spoken in an intonation that seemed far too soft for him to use in this particular situation. It was a tranquil fury, a type of anger that was entirely foreign to him, and Frisk couldn’t recall ever having seen him this enraged before in her somewhat short, but incredibly eventful time of knowing Sans. And this terrifying display of emotion was brought about entirely due to concern over her wellbeing.

 “sweethearts like her need to be treated sweetly, and gently…”

 They both could hear the slight creaking sound coming from the man’s wrist. Frisk was aware of how ironic it was that he was twisting and flailing around in the same fashion as she had previously in his attempts to free himself from Sans’s grip. She wondered when it was that the man would turn to violence, but she didn’t have to ponder this thought long before he stopped struggling and balled his free hand into a fist. He swung at Sans’s face, right between the eyes, but the skeleton dodged it with ease. Sans had let go of his wrist, but rather than run, the man was instead looking for a fight, and it seemed her monster friend was more than willing to comply with his foolish wishes.

 Frisk was torn between leaving the scene to find Papyrus and staying to see how things between the two turned out. She knew there was no use in trying to end the skirmish herself - she could ease Sans out of a dispute herself whenever one arose with some kindness, gentle persuasion, and determination, but he was out for blood and beyond reasoning with.

 Sans was taking this personally; that man had his filthy hands all over his sweetheart, and Sans had been anticipating the first sign of aggression he could find so he could have an excuse to retaliate.

 In the end, either option wasn’t possible for Frisk. A crowd of shoppers had paused in their browsing to gather and watch the impending strife, and she had become trapped among the mass of people. She couldn’t see what was happening anymore due to her height, and she couldn’t move past them to find Papyrus either. She hoped that Papyrus would eventually notice the sudden absence of shoppers in whatever store he was currently in if not the surrounding chaos and intervene himself.

 Once the fight had began, the man couldn’t seem to land any hits on Sans; the skeleton ducked, dodged, and swerved out of every punch thrown his way and then Sans would take advantage of any openings left to inflict damage himself. He didn’t need to use any magic – laws had been recently created limiting the use of monster’s magic in public, but it wasn’t like he cared anything about that. Sans could wipe the floor with him without relying on his supernatural powers, and that was exactly one of the pieces of information about himself he was making abundantly clear. The next being that Frisk was his human, and this particular human was gonna pay for treating her like some sort of cheap toy that was meant to break.

 Eventually, though, Sans grew weary. Not tired, just bored. His opponent’s attacks were far too predictable. He couldn’t just walk away from an important fight like this, though, so he resolved to be creative to keep things interesting. So at some point during the fight, Sans pulled out a pair of glasses from his hoodie pocket that he had taken from somewhere when he had briefly teleported mid-dodge, being most likely unpaid for (they still had the price tag displayed on the frames), and put them on. He even had enough time and plenty to spare to tape them to his skull so they wouldn’t fall off.

 “you wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would ya?”

 MISS

 “you couldn’t hit a guy with glasses!”

 MISS

 He was actively messing with the man now. He almost would have felt a twinge of sympathy for him if he hadn’t rough-handled Frisk and wasn’t a complete creep that was caught preying on women when they were alone. Sans could understand the manly desire to display some aggressive romantic advances, but he paid particular attention to and had learned how to pick up on the mood of his lady and knew when to really back off when his flirting wasn’t appreciated. This human needed to be taught his place, and that the beating he was being put through was just a gentle warning compared to what would have happened if Sans hadn’t shown up when he did.

 Frisk had finally managed to wiggle herself towards the front of the clamoring audience, cupping her hands around her mouth and shouting over their whoops and howls,

 “Sans!”

 “yeah, dolly?” His tone was casual but still attentive, not turning his head towards her when he spoke as he leapt away from another swing of the man’s fist.

 She wanted to tell him to stop, that the guy wasn’t worth it, and Sans could get into trouble with the law for what he was doing even though he had initially only been trying to defend her. Instead, she found herself asking,

 “How did you even get here so fast?!”

 “i was lookin’ for ya.”

 “I was gone for five minutes!”

 “which was four minutes and thirty seconds too long ta be without ya.”

 Ever since they had left the Underground, Sans had practically been attached to her at the hip. She barely had a moment to herself anymore. Papyrus and some of her other monster friends were similar in wanting to occupy all of her time, but none of them could even hold a candle to Sans.

 Frisk remembered when this possessive streak of his first began to show itself; he had stopped her in the Judgement Hall, begging, pleading with her not to leave them – not to leave him. Only two foreseeable fates lied in front of her then should she continue with the last leg of her journey; defeat Asgore and return to the surface, or be killed continuously by the king of monsters. Sans was one of the select few that knew of the true nature behind her temporal powers, but it didn’t matter to him if she could simply load after each of her demises. He didn’t want Asgore to kill her and he didn’t want her to go somewhere where he would never see her again.

 She had made him care again, and then she was going to leave him.

 He had finally relented and allowed her passage, but he wouldn’t let her go without a fight. He would never take her life like all the other monsters had, no, but Sans was determined to keep her with him, and he would do anything within his power to make that possible. With each instance he dropped her HP down to 1, he would then incapacitate her and carry Frisk all the way back to Snowdin, muttering how this was for the best and what he was doing was done out of love. This process repeated, over and over again, an uncountable number of times, until finally she had learned to predict his attack patterns and in turn caused him to use up his magic until he was near ready to collapse.

 She could have ran past him and left him there, a screaming sobbing wreck, but she didn’t. She had taken that opportunity to instead comfort him, reassure him that he and everyone else wouldn’t be trapped Underground forever and she would do everything to ensure that they would one day reach the surface. His expression then told her he didn’t believe her, but he had reluctantly let her go.

 Frisk was the catalyst for everything good that has happened recently in his life; he and Papyrus making up after several years’ worth of senseless arguments and hurling petty insults towards each other, Alphys and Undyne finally speaking to each other as equals when both were too caught up in their pride to do so, Mettaton and Napstablook apologizing to each other first in private then on live television, thus putting their past estrangement behind them… Frisk was responsible for it all.

 And now she had granted him and every other monster a life of freedom here on the surface, just as she had promised.

 She was important to him, and she knew that, but Frisk couldn’t even begin to fathom just how much value her life and happiness truly meant to Sans.

 So much so that sometimes it nearly drove him mad.

 The throng then began to shuffle around boisterously with the action, some laughing at Sans’s antics while pushing and shoving each other to get a better view of the spectacle. Someone standing next to Frisk elbowed her a bit too hard in the ribs and she accidentally let out a yelp.

 Sans immediately froze, his focus drawn away from the fight as he whipped his head towards the direction he heard Frisk cry out, but couldn’t see her.

 “sweetheart?”

 That was all the hesitation his opponent needed; the man he had been walloping for the past five minutes took this moment to strike Sans directly in the mouth, probably because he had been taunting and insulting him throughout the entirety of the match. Sans stumbled backwards, moving one hand to hold the affected area and felt something wet there – pulling his hand back revealed it was stained with red magic, his own magic.

 If he still had a mere HP value of 1, that would have killed him.

 The idiot, the absolute buffoon, then made the fatal mistake of gloating over his accomplishment, one successful strike against the monster compared to the dozens Sans had effectively delivered, but he was instantly silenced when Sans reeled back and punched him just as hard in the solar plexus, sending the man hurtling towards the ground. He fell, and it didn’t look like he would be getting back up anytime soon.

 Ignoring his pain and the garbage on the floor, Sans bolted towards the crowd and began tossing people aside haphazardly and without care until he found Frisk. He took her face in his large skeletal hands and pulled her close, wobbling eyelights worriedly searching her form for any signs of injury.

 “babydoll! you okay? i heard you shout.”

 “Yes, I’m fine. Someone just accidentally elbowed me a little too hard in all the excitement…” She then gasped, eyes wide and hands clasped over her own mouth. “Oh my stars! Sans! Y-Your tooth!”

 “my wha-” He then ran his glowing red tongue, made of magic, over his teeth and noticed one was missing – his gold one.

 “That piece of-” He growled, wrapping one protective arm around Frisk in case the man woke up again to harass them as he scanned the floor for his missing tooth.

 It didn’t take long for him to find it, the deep lustrous yellow contrasting against the marble white of the floor. He picked it up and pocketed it, still clinging to Frisk as he did so. Once that was done, his attention was instantly shifted back onto her.

 He took her by the hands, rubbing soothing little circles with his bony thumbs over her knuckles. “sweetheart, ‘m so sorry i was late... did that walking mixture of crap and raw sewage hurt you?!”

 When she had been grabbed, it certainly hadn’t felt good, but after taking in the complete thrashing Sans had given to her assailant, she wasn’t sure if mentioning the bruises that were forming on her skin was a wise idea for fear of what more he might do.

 That man wasn’t worth Sans losing his freedom over, she thought.

 However, before she could respond, Sans’s hands glided carefully up her arms to rest on her shoulders, phalanges delicately grazing over where she had been seized earlier, and Frisk automatically flinched. Her reaction was enough of an answer for Sans.

 “i’m gonna kill him.”

 “Sans, please don’t-”

 “i really mean it. i’m gonna. but first, i’ll castrate him. right here.”

 “Sans, he’s not worth it!”

 “he hurt you, and then he tried to touch you. and if i hadn’t shown up when i did, he would have. he’s scum.”

 Thankfully, before Sans could carry out his threat, Papyrus had finally made his appearance. His sudden arrival was enough to stop his brother in his tracks as he strode up to them with a look of vexation, arms crossed and appearing ready to put Sans on the receiving end of a brutal tongue lashing for being at the center of such pandemonium.

 “OUR FIRST TRIP INSIDE A HUMAN MARKET, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN STAY OUT OF TROUBLE FOR TEN MINUTES WITHOUT ME CONSTANTLY HOVERING OVER YOU. I WOULD ASK IF YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF SHAME IF I WERE LESS INTELLIGENT AND DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER.”

 “D-Do you know him?!” The man was apparently conscious again, but he couldn’t move around much; he couldn’t even sit up properly.

 “AND WHO IS THIS?” Papyrus questioned as he gestured to him boredly.

 The man then pointed to Sans, attempting to play the victim – the only ones that knew the truth of what had transpired were him, Frisk, and Sans. He was in front of an entire mob, and if this other skeleton didn’t believe him, then the human members of the crowd almost certainly would over the word of a monster.

 He didn’t even get the chance to plead his case before being interrupted by an enraged Sans that already knew what he was trying to do.

 “This lunatic tried to-”

 “i caught this pervert about to grope frisk!”

 Well that got Papyrus’s attention.

 “and before that, ‘m pretty sure he bruised her up! she flinched hard when i touched her shoulders checkin’ over for any damage!”

 Papyrus’s already narrowed sockets thinned to slits, his heels clacking thunderously against the floor as he closed the distance between them, snatching the man by the front of his shirt and lifting him up with a single arm. Sans’s height was somewhere in the area of six feet, but Papyrus was a seven foot tall, extremely intimidating skeleton monster; so Frisk’s would-be kidnapper was dangling almost two feet off the ground and was at the mercy of a being that had only just recently learned and had a clumsy grasp on the definition of the word.

 Papyrus didn’t say a word as he suddenly summoned a large and heavy bone nearly the size of himself, lifted it with his free hand as if it were weightless, then slammed it over the man’s head. He didn’t even get to let out an ‘ow’ before he was out cold once again.

 “He’s going to get brain damage at this rate…” Frisk said, her blatant display of concern for her aggressor shouldn’t have shocked the brothers in the slightest considering her compassionate and forgiving nature, but it did.

 “AND YOUR POINT IS…? IT’S NOT AS THOUGH HE WAS USING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.” Papyrus scoffed, dismissing his bone-based attack he had used as a makeshift club.

 “gotta agree with my bro here, babydoll. moron should’a used what few brain cells he had and backed off when he had the chance.”

 Sans and Papyrus were not finished with him in the slightest, she realized. But before the two could concoct more ways to injure the man further, for the third instance that day, a timely arrival, this time of the police, kept her from having to play the role of the ineffectual peacemaker.

 “All right! All right! Break it up! Nothing to see here! That’s right, get moving! You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here!”

 After convincing the gathered people in the area to disperse, the pair of officers suited in blue, a man and a woman, then approached the three. Much to Frisk’s relief, they didn’t appear to be upset with any of them, and she had been so sure that they were here to arrest her two delinquent monster companions. Rather, they swooped in to apprehend the man lying unconscious on the floor of the mall from where Papyrus had clubbed him.

 “We’ve been trying to catch this guy for weeks.” The lady officer, Nina Sanchez explained once the officers had successfully carted the man away and the air around them had began to calm. “He landed himself on our wanted list for multiple charges of sexual harassment, threatening behavior, stalking, and attempted abduction. And now we have to add minor assault to that list.”

 “he was gonna try to take my baby away…” Sans quietly muttered into Frisk’s neck; the shorter of the two skeletons was curled up to her side as they sat on a nearby bench, his arms locked firmly around her as if she would disappear into nothing if he loosened his hold by even the slightest amount.

 “We’re going to make sure he stays behind bars for a long time.” The other officer, Duke Durland, continued. “He didn’t succeed in kidnapping or causing any serious harm to any of the women he’s interacted with, but the intent was still there and crystal clear. He needs to be punished by being locked away where he can’t bother anyone anymore.”

 “I ASSURE YOU; I AM MORE THAN CAPABLE OF DOLING OUT A FAR MORE APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT.” Papyrus was all too eager to propose.

 “I understand that you’re angry over your lady friend being targeted,” He went on, attempting to pacify him. “but up here on the surface, it’s the job of officers and the court to deal with criminals.”

 “And that means no vigilantism.” Frisk was quick to add.

 “BUT YOU CLEARLY DON’T UNDERSTAND – I WAS VICE-CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD IN THE UNDERGROUND, SO I’M ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT I CURRENTLY HOLD THE CREDENTIALS NEEDED IN ORDER TO DELIVER PROPER RETRIBUTION UPON TRANSGRESSORS OF THE LAW!”

 “Papy, that’s not how it works…” Frisk patted his skeletal arm, urging him to sit down on the bench next to her and Sans; he complied with an almost childish pout, crossing his arms as he did so. “Forgive him. His comprehension of surface world laws is still a work in progress. Back where he came from, if somebody had a problem with someone else, then they settled it between themselves – usually with violence...”

 “Oh, you don’t have to tell me that.” Duke laughed heartily, “I have some monster friends of my own, and there isn’t a single dull moment with them around!”

 “I thought for sure the two of you had shown up to arrest them or kick us out.”

 “On normal circumstances, we would have had to,” Nina nodded in her direction, “But you saved the both of us a lot of trouble in hunting this guy down, and your boyfriend here was in the right to react as he did. …Well, maybe not by starting a full-blown fist fight in a public mall, but we checked the security cameras and the court of law would say he was acting in self-defense and defending another party, in this case, you.”

 “Thank you for being so lenient and considerate, but… he’s not my boyfriend.” Frisk awkwardly chuckled, having tried to wiggle out of Sans’s death grip on multiple occasions throughout the conversation, but failing each time. She eventually just sighed in defeat and reached up to pat the top of his skull.

 “Oh, I’m sorry… I’m usually good at picking up on things like that.” Nina apologized, but she took a quick glance at the skeleton currently latched onto Frisk and noticed that his grin had slipped just slightly.

 “It’s alright. A lot of people say the same thing about us.”

 “Uh-huh…” The lady officer allowed her gaze to fall on Sans again and he looked even more glum than a few seconds prior. “Anyway, onto a more pressing matter – your friend lost a tooth in the scuffle, correct?”

 Sans nodded, not willing to dig in his pockets to present his severed tooth if it meant letting go of Frisk.

 “HOW LOVELY. THIS MEANS A TRIP TO THE DENTIST; YOU KNOW THAT, DON’T YOU?” Papyrus’s tone was unenthusiastic and dry as he turned to his brother, and Frisk felt Sans flinch.

 “bro, w-we can’t go. we don’t got the cash for that.”

 “Actually, if the payment to fix your tooth problem is an issue, we can easily have it arranged that the perpetrator pay for the procedure out of his own pocket.” Nina offered, “He won’t be needing any of that money when he’s in prison, and it’s not like he can, oh say, go to the mall to buy anything, now can he?”

 “That sounds perfect!” Frisk eagerly replied, the amount of silver linings of this situation gradually revealing themselves had yet ceased continuing to surprise her. “What’s your verdict, Co-Captain of the Royal Guard, Papyrus?”

 “HMMM, I CAN FIND NO REASON TO OBJECT.”

 “does what i think or feel not mean anythin’ to any of ya?!”

 “NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST. NOW HURRY UP AND GET TO THE CAR! WE NEED TO GET THERE BEFORE THIS TRIP THROWS OFF OUR SCHEDULE FOR THIS EVENING EVEN MORE THAN IT ALREADY HAS!”

 Sans let out a noise that sounded like a mixture between an annoyed grumble and a soft whine but obeyed his brother’s command without protest, dragging his feet as he followed Papyrus’s longer strides out of the building.

 “You two would make a really cute couple, though.” Duke commented before Frisk left to catch up with them.

 “I’m surprised you would say something like that. Most people look at human and monster relationships as… you know…”

 “Heh, it might surprise you to hear someone say this directly, but I’m glad you brought the monsters to the surface. I never would have met my girlfriend otherwise, Miss Ambassador.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m dating a bunny lady right now. She used to run a store in a town in the Underground called Snowdin. …I hope to one day call her my wife.”

 “It makes me glad to hear you two are happy together.” Frisk found herself smiling; it was rare for her to encounter humans that were so open about their tolerance or admiration for the monsters.

 “You should probably get going now; your, uh, not boyfriend was shaking like a leaf when he heard the word ‘dentist’.”

 “Yeah, he was. I never would have thought of him as the type to freak out over something like that, but… I better go with them. Just in case.”

 She would have tagged along anyway even if Sans had been completely unfazed by Papyrus’s declaration, but if he really was frightened about the visit then her presence might help to ease his fears and provide moral support, even if only by a small amount.

 When she had caught up to them, they were already at Papyrus’s car, a sleek black sportscar with painted on hot rod flames, and its owner was already buckled up and behind the wheel. Sans, however, was having difficulty with his own buckle as his hands were shaking too hard.

 “OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE – STOP BEING SUCH A BABYBONES!”

 Papyrus was swiftly losing his patience and his temper.

 “Here, I’ll help.” Frisk crawled in the back seat and fastened the buckle for him, their hands brushing over each other’s for a few seconds as she fumbled with the safety apparatus.

 “…thanks.” His reply sounded choked to her.

 “HUMAN FRISK, STOP SPOILING SANS BY COMPLETING TASKS FOR HIM THAT HE’S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF ACCOMPLISHING FOR HIMSELF. HE MAY BE MY BABY BROTHER, BUT HE IS NOT THAT INCOMPETENT. NOW CEASE YOUR LOLLYGAGGING IMMEDIATELY AND GET UP HERE WITH ME!”

 “Alright, alright. Yes, your vice-captain of the royal guardship.”

 “DON’T TEST MY ALREADY DWINDLING FORBEARANCE, FRISK. THIS IS JUST AS STRESSFUL FOR ME AS IT IS FOR MY BROTHER, I CAN ASSURE YOU.”

 “Why so?” She inquired as she buckled herself in and the engine roared to life.

 “YOU’LL FIND OUT AFTER WE GET THERE.”

 “It would be really helpful of you to let me know now.”

 “UGH, FINE. WHEN SANS LOST HIS ORIGINAL TOOTH AND BEFORE HE OBTAINED HIS GOLD ONE, HE WAS EXTREMELY PANICKED AT THE THOUGHT OF HAVING SOMEONE MESS AROUND WITH HIS MOUTH. YOU ARE PERFECTLY AWARE OF HOW EVERYDAY LIFE WAS FOR MONSTERS IN THE UNDERGROUND – A DENTAL PROCEDURE WOULD PUT HIM IN A STATE OF VULNERABILITY, AND HE WOULD HAVE TO COMPLETELY TRUST THE ONE PERFORMING THE PROCEDURE NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT.”

 “I guess that feeling of uncertainty is still with him, even though he knows there isn’t in any danger of that happening here...”

 “THERE’S MORE TO IT THAN THAT – ANESTHESIA WAS REQUIRED THEN, AND I DOUBT THAT IT WILL BE ANY DIFFERENT HERE IN THE PRESENT AND ON THE SURFACE. AND OTHER THAN THE THOUGHT OF HIM FALLING ASLEEP AND NEVER WAKING UP PLAGUING HIS MIND, HIS BEHAVIOR UPON AWAKENING IN THE PAST WAS… INDESCRIBABLE.”

 “‘m right here. ya can stop talkin’ like ‘m not.”

 “I’m sorry, Sans!” She squeaked, now acknowledging that she had been effectively ignoring him and was additionally asking Papyrus intrusive and probably embarrassing questions about himself. “Listen, I know the needle will be scary, but it’ll all be over before you even know it and then you can go home. I had to get my wisdom teeth removed before and it was finished in an hour, but you won’t even need to get stitches-”

 “stop it.” He nearly growled before taking a deep, shuddery breath and his tone shifting to one that sounded less dangerous and more annoyed. “i know yer tryin’ ta help, but i’d rather jus’ not think about it ‘til we actually get there.”

 “Ok… I understand.” Frisk tried not to show the hurt in her own tone as she replied, “I just thought that you might need a little reassurance since you seemed nervous...”

 “…”

 “you ass. now look at what you did – she’s sad now.” He inwardly began to berate himself. “that little frown on those pretty pink lips is your fault, all you. this is why you don’t even deserve to share the same space as her, much less think you’ll ever be good enough to be the kind of man she needs.”

 He looked out the window and watched the scenery roll by in silence, feeling even worse than he had previously.

 And after about five minutes of pure silence, Papyrus suddenly spoke up.

 “I NEGLECTED TO MENTION THIS BEFORE, FRISK, BUT IS NOW AN UNOPPORTUNE MOMENT TO INFORM YOU THAT I WON’T BE THERE TO SUPERVISE SANS ONCE THE PROCEDURE IS FINISHED?”

 “what?!” “What?!”

 “I WON’T BE THERE TO SUPERVISE SANS ONCE THE PROCEDURE IS FINISHED.”

 “Yes, we heard that the first time, but why?!”

 “I AM TO ACCOMPANY CAPTAIN UNDYNE, HER MAJESTY, QUEEN TORIEL AND HIS MAJESTY, KING ASGORE, TO AN IMPORTANT MEETING DISCUSSING MONSTERS AND THEIR FUTURE ON THE SURFACE. WE ARE TO, UNACCOMPANIED AND UNAIDED BY YOU, OUR AMBASSADOR, PRESENT PROOF THAT WE ARE NOT MENACES TO SOCIETY. AND IF THE HUMAN OFFICIALS WERE TO CATCH WIND OF WHAT OCCURRED IN THE MALL BACK THERE, I LOATHE TO THINK IT MAY IN TURN CAUSE TROUBLE FOR THE REST OF MONSTERKIND; EVEN THOUGH SANS DID, FOR ONCE, ACT OUT IN A MANNER THAT WAS ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE FOR THE GIVEN SITUATION.”

 “i still wanna castrate him, though.”

 “AS DO I, BUT IF WE WISH TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE OUR LIVES ON THE SURFACE IN RELATIVE PEACE, WE HAVE TO COMPLY WITH THE LAWS OF THIS LAND AND LEAVE HIS FATE UP TO THE HUMANS AND CONSEQUENTLY THEIR UNSUPERIOR AND BORING METHODS OF DISTRIBUTING JUSTICE.”

 “The two of you scare me sometimes…”

 “AH, BUT DON’T YOU FEEL SO INCREDIBLY LOVED BEARING THE KNOWLEDGE THAT ONE INCREDIBLY HANDSOME SKELETON AND ANOTHER OF SUB-PAR ATTRACTIVENESS BY COMPARISON WOULD BE WILLING TO SHED BLOOD IN YOUR NAME?”

 “Not really…”

 “HMPH. VERY WELL, THEN. IF IT TRULY DISPLEASES YOU SO, THEN MY BROTHER AND I WILL DO OUR BEST TO KEEP DISCUSSION OF HYPOTHETICAL BLOODSHED TO THE MINIMUM FROM THIS POINT ONWARD.”

 “Please do. I’d appreciate it if the both of you wouldn’t try to find creative ways to get yourselves locked away in prison.”

 “wait just a sec: if pap an’ i did go to prison though, we could beat up that guy for ya! can’t get in ta trouble and thrown in the slammer for beatin’ the snot out of a guy if we’re already in there.”

 “YOU MAY HAVE A POINT, SANS! THERE’S A TOLL BOOTH UP AHEAD; I’LL GO THROUGH IT WITHOUT PAYING AND SEE IF THE AUTHORITIES NOTICE AND PULL US OVER.”

 “No! Neither of you are going to prison if I can help it!”

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 It wasn’t long after they arrived at the dentist’s office that Sans’s name was called, the skeleton shuffling out of the waiting room like a man sentenced to death row on his way to his own execution. He hadn’t uttered a word since they got here, his posture ramrod stiff, but the greatest sign of the discomfort he felt was noticeable in his eyes – his red eyelights had shrunken down to quivering microscopic pinpricks.

 Frisk was surprised that he hadn’t began to rattle; when skeletons felt a great amount of excitement, anger, or fear, sometimes their bones would clatter against each other in response. And the only reason she knew this was because of their confrontation in the Judgement Hall – the entire duration of their one-sided fight, the sound of his bones continuously and violently clinking together echoed throughout the space around them with trepidation at the thought of her leaving the Underground forever. It was the first and so far only time she had heard the noise, and she hoped that should she ever hear it again, it would be from happiness.

 Sans had snapped at her during the car ride when she tried to comfort him, so she was left feeling useless and her company unneeded. However, when Sans’s name was called, he instinctively grabbed her by the wrist.

 He had wanted to hold her hand.

 He held no issue with grabbing her by the hands or nearly anywhere else when he was flirting, but in his time of emotional insecurity, Sans couldn’t allow himself to be put into a position that would reveal what he discerned as his inner weakness. He wanted Frisk to see him as her big, scary skeleton monster bodyguard. How was she supposed to perceive him that way if he was getting his shorts twisted over something as simple as a visit to the dentist’s?

 He was both proud and ashamed of the look he gave her before he stood up; Sans managed to reign control over his eyelights for a few seconds, willing them to go back to normal long enough to stare her in the eyes with all the intensity he held within.

 Sans looked at Frisk like she was his entire world and this may be the last time he would ever see her.

 And it very well may be the last time they see each other; what if the office was filled with monster hating bigots, and when he went under he never woke up again, and then the entire incident would be ruled as a misfortunate accident and swept under the rug along with his dust? Sans loved sleep, but the thought of being forced into an eternal slumber was enough to paralyze him, and every single bone in his body went rigid once the needle came into view.

 Frisk and Papyrus were in the waiting room for nearly an hour afterward before a nurse came over to tell them he was almost ready to be taken home. The taller skeleton nudged Frisk along towards the direction the nurse pointed out, his face turned away from her with a light redness dusting his sharp cheekbones.

 “YOU NEED TO BE THE FIRST THING HE SEES WHEN HE REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS. I WOULD ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE IN THIS SITUATION.”

 She wanted to argue that his claim wasn’t true, that the familiarity of Papyrus’s presence would reassure Sans far more than her own, but his tone had sounded so convinced and final that she didn’t push the issue. Frisk followed the nurse to the back room where the dentist himself greeted them before allowing her to see Sans. He went over the things that she might need to be cautious over and what to expect in the next few hours, but she also wanted to know about his current emotional wellbeing.

 “How did it go? His reaction, I mean.” She asked with a twinge of unease.

 “Just fine. A little bit of cursing when the needle went in, but then he was out like a light. He should be waking up any moment now.”

 Another nurse popped in directly after his statement, “Actually, the patient woke up just now and he’s acting… emotional.”

 When Frisk heard the word ‘emotional’ pass her lips, she had expected a large-scale, curse-ridden tantrum from the skeleton. What she didn’t expect to find was Sans nearly curled up in his seat, quietly sniffling as tears ran down his cheekbones like miniature waterfalls. He looked so lost, so terrified, and so vulnerable… It was utterly heartbreaking and pulled at her SOUL in ways she couldn’t even begin to describe.

 She understood now why Papyrus had wanted her to see him first; Papyrus did love his brother, but he couldn’t handle his more softhearted outbursts. For years, the pair had grown up believing that to show tears was a sign of fragility, a stamp of death in a kill or be killed world, and it was only after the two met Frisk that they became more receptive towards the notion of openly expressing feelings that were unrelated to rage. Sans didn’t cry often, but whenever he did, his brother still didn’t know how to deal with it in the slightest. So it was because he loved his younger brother that Papyrus decided to pass him onto Frisk’s more tender care.

 “Sans…?” She maintained a soft volume as she approached, not wanting to startle him.

 His head immediately whipped up at the sound of her voice, far too quickly to not have been painful, she thought, and his eyesockets went near impossibly wide as if he couldn’t believe she was really here. Those red eyelights then began to swell, almost filling the entirety of the dark space they occupied.

 “y-you came for me…” He whispered, his words slurred but still intelligible.

 “Of course I did. I would never leave you, Sans.” She delicately reached over to stroke the crown of his skull and this seemed to placate him somewhat, his flow of tears beginning to slow.

 Sans had dreamed while he slept.

 It was a dark dream. He had been taken somewhere pitch black and couldn’t see or hear anything. It was The Void, he was certain; a place monsters occasionally spoke of, mostly respected, and always feared. No one knew just how one would cross over to this place, but it was said that once one entered there was no escape. And for Sans, being there even while inside the relative safety of a dream was a complete nightmare. There was nowhere and nothing, time and space no longer existed, and with nobody to speak to, he was left with only his thoughts to keep him company. He was far, far away from Frisk and his brother, and he just knew he would never see either of them again.

 So when he opened his eye sockets to find himself in a world of sound and color once more, he had first been overcome with relief. But then his blurred senses couldn’t detect a single sign of Frisk’s existence within immediate reach, nor his brother’s, and that was enough for him to feel as though he were dropped back into another nightmare realm. Her presence and words brought him a great deal of comfort and eased his frightened and weary SOUL; she had told him what he had wanted to hear always, that she would never leave him – if this too was another figment of his imagination, then he didn’t want to wake up if it meant being forced to live in a world without her.

 Sans gave her a lopsided grin with his newly reattached golden tooth, content now that she was here before him, safe and within his reach. He wrapped his arms around the limb of hers closest to him, wanting nothing more than to cuddle his precious human. But she needed to go tell Papyrus that he was awake so his brother could help her guide the stocky skeleton to the car, and he was extremely reluctant to allow her to leave his sight for even that.

 “Sans, I’m just going to get your brother. You know, Papyrus? I’ll be right back. I’m not going anywhere far, just into the next room.”

 He squeezed her hand, gazing up at her with wobbly eyelights. “p-promise…? promise me you’ll come back.”

 “I promise.” She used her free hand to stroke his left cheek, and he leaned into her palm, lifting up his own to rest over hers and press himself further into her touch.

 He reluctantly permitted her to leave only after placing a clumsy kiss against her fingers as they slipped out of his hold.

 The dentist stepped into the room directly after, preparing for his last patient for the day and making it easier for Sans to get up when his escorts came by adjusting the chair. As he scurried around the room doing this and that, Sans suddenly became talkative.

 “didja see that girl i was with?”

 “Yes, you mean Ms. Frisk, the ambassador? Is she a friend of yours?”

 “yeah, she is. she’s my best friend in the whooooole world besides my brother.” He swayed around happily in his seat with a carefree giggle. “and i’m gonna marry her one day, but she doesn’t know that yet.”

 It took every ounce of his willpower for the dentist to not laugh and retain his professionalism; he saw dozens of patients a week that had their fair share of interesting and amusing things to say while under the influence of the anesthesia, but Sans was behaving so innocently and had spoken so fondly of the human in his company that it was enough to melt the old man’s heart.

 “Getting married is an important step in a committed relationship, so wouldn’t it be a good idea to let her know how you feel?”

 His eye sockets widened. “you’re right…! i-i do need to tell her! i need to tell her right now!”

 He then attempted to wiggle out of his chair to find Frisk himself instead of patiently waiting for her to return. The only thing that prevented him from tumbling out and falling flat onto his face was the dentist’s swift movement of grabbing him by the shoulders to steady him, then carefully easing Sans back into his previous position while scolding him on his recklessness as if he were a misbehaving toddler. The six-foot-tall skeleton then slumped backwards with a pout, his preceding lovesick expression screwing into one of annoyance.

 When Frisk eventually did return with Papyrus, as they lead him out the back door and towards the car that was parked just outside, she couldn’t understand why the dentist was looking at her, smiling and chuckling to himself as if she were missing out on an inside joke or something of the sort. Sans must have said something really special for a professional that saw this sort of behavior daily to react in such a way. She nearly shuddered to think what nonsensical statements a mind such as his could have assembled while in this state.

 She assisted Sans in buckling him in the back seat as she did before. He practically begged Frisk to sit next to him, but she politely declined. He was acting so loopy that it was taking all of her self-control not to laugh at some of his drunken antics and articulations. He might take her laughter the wrong way and accidentally have his feelings hurt, since he seemed to be far more sensitive when he was like this.

 Sans was also incredibly chatty while high, she learned quickly.

 Every single thing that popped into his head was evidently broadcasted to his captive audience of two. And most of what was said were things that would certainly embarrass him if anyone else aside from the pair heard them. Sans could most likely brush aside anything that occurred here with them later, but right now he was rattling off puns that made no sense and jokes without punchlines, and Frisk also made the mental note that he was acting incredibly and uncharacteristically sappy. She wondered if this was what Papyrus had meant when he mentioned his behavior being indescribable.

 Indescribable was certainly one word for it.

 “frisk. ey, frisk? frisky~”

 “Yes, Sans?” She sighed for what felt like the fifth time in the past three minutes.

 “has anyone ever told you your hair is really pretty…?”

 “Sometimes…?”

 “well, it is, and no matter how many times ya may of heard so already, it still don’t get said enough. it’s… really really pretty. like, it’s all soft and it smells nice. skeletons don’t have all that soft stuff on our heads, you know. and i know i probably reek of mustard all the dang time, so… it’s really different. it’s nice.”

 “Thank you, that’s really sweet of you to say.”

 “no no no, you’re the one that’s sweet. you-your trait is determination, and i admired that about ya a lot from the moment we first met, but, b-but you have so much kindness in your SOUL that sometimes it’s a lil’ overwhelming... i didn’t understand that back then, but i do kinda have an idea now and i appreciate it so much… i appreciate you so much, frisk.”

 “I appreciate you too, Sans. You’re a good friend.”

 “no ‘m not. ‘m always causin’ trouble for ya. because of me, people look at ya funny on the street an’ they start ta talk. they’ll look at ya anyways without me there ‘cause yer too pretty not to talk about an’ look at, but i make ‘em look at ya an’ talk in the bad way. it’s all my fault.”

 “No, none of that is your fault, Sans. If those people are going to look down on me because you’re my friend, then I don’t want those same individuals to be looking at me in a positive light during the rare times you’re not standing next to me. And besides, staring is rude.”

 “but-but what about when i look at ya? does that mean i can’t ever look at ya again because it’s rude? i can’t do that – you’re too cute to ignore. even fer a little bit. i can’t help it. i just gotta look at ya, all the time-”

 “Alright, alright! I’ll make a special exception for you – you’re the only one that’s allowed to stare at me, Sans. On occasion.”

 “AHEM.”

 “Ok, you’re given an exception too, Papyrus…”

 “THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, AS I’M CERTAIN YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY FLATTERED TO BE THE OBJECT OF MY ATTENTIONS?”

 “Sure…”

 “‘asides, if i don’t always look at ya, then what’ll happen if someone decides to take ya away?”

 “That won’t happen-”

 “but it could! and it almost did just today! d-don’t you remember at all?! y-you were there! my baby almost got taken away from me forever…”

 She heard him let out a soft sob in the back seat and Papyrus shot her an unimpressed glance, mouthing out the words that she was still somehow able to decipher despite him not having lips, ‘SAY SOMETHING TO HIM…’

 “B-But it didn’t, Sans! You showed up at just the right moment when I really needed you! …I feel fortunate to have someone in my life that takes such an active interest in watching over my wellbeing.”

 And that was the truth. Before she befriended the occupants of the Underground, Frisk’s life had been barely acknowledged by those around her, and those that did pay her any mind gave her the sort of heed that she nor anyone would want; tormentors, perverts, thugs; those were the only sort of people that gave her quiet existence any notice… So when the monsters that entered her life began showing signs of appreciating, reciprocating, and even actively vying for her attention, Frisk had secretly felt incredibly flattered and somewhat ashamedly relished it. For once in her life, she finally felt important to not only someone, but several someones. But now that the inner bliss of those occasions had begun to fade and the consequences of their extreme behavior, particularly Sans’s, had come about, she was much less thrilled over the dramatic and even sometimes possessive in nature gestures and displays that were frequently presented to her.

 These monsters had gone so long without expressing love for another, they didn’t know how to anymore without going entirely overboard with it.

 And that’s exactly what Sans was doing currently – going completely, utterly, and not-so gracefully swan-diving-into-the-water overboard with showing his affections for her.

 Sans was flirtatious by nature, and she knew he didn’t mean to indicate interest in initiating a serious romantic relationship with the recipient of his sweet words, recurring caresses, and terms of endearment, especially whenever they were directed towards her - because that’s just who Sans was. And he had absolutely no filter even without the involvement of anesthesia and little understandings of personal space, most likely because he was raised in and exposed to a violent upbringing and environment. So with him there existed a thin line between when either a positive or negative touch, depending on the mood set of the situation, was appropriate at any given time. He would throw his arms around her and nuzzle the pulse point of her neck with the tip of his nasal ridge just as swiftly and eagerly as he would throw a punch to someone on the street that had personally wronged him in some shape or form.

 Sans was the living definition of the expression and phrase, ‘all or nothing’ and ‘go big or go home’.

 “aww… i feel lucky ta have ya too, sweetheart.” His cooing was slurred, and Frisk imagined the dopey grin he must be wearing as he swayed around as he spoke – the mental image was enough to bring a smile to her own lips. “yer always so nice and sweet ta everyone, even me. …that’s why i love ya.”

 Before Frisk could utter a single word or even the slightest sound, they had pulled up at a traffic light, the car pulling to a stop with a loud screech.

 How appropriate.

 After a long and uncomfortable silence, she slowly turned her head towards Papyrus, but he wasn’t looking at her. His gloved fingers were clutched tightly to the steering wheel and he was staring straight ahead of them at the vehicle-infested road.

 “…I LOATHE DRIVING AT THIS HOUR.” Was all he said, his voice noticeably more faint than usual and a near imperceptible tremble discernable in his tone.

 The quietness around them stretched on. The only things that could be heard were the sounds of the car’s engine, the air condition, and the occasional honk from an impatient driver somewhere.

 Frisk’s cheeks were burning. Her throat felt dry.

 Nobody had once ever said that to her. In any shape, way, or form.

 Her SOUL should be bursting with happiness, to hear someone say they loved her. But all she could feel was a sense of uncomfortableness – Sans was clearly not in his right mind at the moment. Frisk knew she was important to him, he told her that enough on a near daily basis and she knew that unlike his flirtations, his appreciation for her was entirely sincere.

 Perhaps he did love her, she thought, but not in the romantic sense, surely…

 She finally managed to regain her voice.

 “Thank you, Sans. For saying that. I love you too…”

 “noooooo…!” He whined loudly as he kicked his legs, surprising her. Before she could question his odd response to her reply, he continued. “not like that; i know you like me. i-i even know you love me… but, i didn’t mean like that.”

 Frisk couldn’t recall having ever felt so confused in all her life – by that way, did he think she had misunderstood his declaration of love as something romantic when it was only intended to be platonic? He had told Papyrus just fifteen minutes prior that he loved him as well…

 “you’re the best bro i’ve got, papyrus...” He had nearly cried when Papyrus turned on the air conditioner after Sans complained about the heat.

 “I’M YOUR ONLY BROTHER.” He sighed.

 “i know, b-but you’re still the best. i love ya, papyrus.” He sniffled, causing Papyrus, after a few seconds had passed, to quietly mutter that he felt the same.

 Papyrus probably would have appreciated the sentiment far more if Sans hadn’t been high as a kite when he said it and his eye sockets had been dry.

 “Then in what way did you mean when you said that, Sans?” Frisk honestly wasn’t sure if she should have asked – his brother looked so tense behind the wheel, but he wasn’t giving either of them any warning glances or cues to put the topic to a close.

 “you know… i love you - like that. like… like this.” He raised up both hands, weak and wobbly, then touched the pads of his two index fingers together. “oh wait, you can’t see back here from up there…”

 “I’m afraid I can’t, Sans.” She laughed uncertainly, but she had heard him make a noise with his mouth that sounded like a kiss, despite him not having lips.

 Or perhaps he did…? Or maybe she just misheard him because of the air conditioner. Yes, that had to be it.

 Papyrus, however, had apparently seen everything from the car’s internal mirror that gave him a view of the back seat, which escaped Frisk’s view because of her far smaller height.

 “GOOD HEAVENS, SANS!” He rolled his red eyelights with an indignant huff. “SHOW SOME SELF RESTRAINT FOR GOODNESS SAKE! SHE’S ALREADY MARRIED!”

 …What?

 That was all Frisk could think after that rebuttal. She wasn’t married; it was true that she wore a ring on her left hand on the finger that usually indicated if someone was or not, but she did so mainly because of the sizing of the ring and because it felt most comfortable on this hand. Papyrus knew that.

 And so did Sans.

 But in his disoriented state, all logic and reasoning he normally would have exercised and applied in this situation had been flung out the window.

 “frisk, how could you?!” He shouted with dismay, struggling against the binds of his seatbelt. “i’m not with you for… for… i get unconscious… and-and the moment i do, you go and get married to some other guy behind my back?!”

 “…What?” Frisk turned to Papyrus, hoping for some sort of explanation, but all she could see were the beginnings of dread and regret in his expression.

 “WHAT BRAND OF CHAOS HAVE I UNLEASHED…?”

 Sans was having a complete nuclear meltdown in the back now, and at this rate, poor Papyrus’s nice and very expensive car might be totaled from the inside out if either of them didn’t put an end to his brother’s tantrum soon.

 “Sans, calm down! You’re going to hurt yourself! …Or this car!” She managed to somehow raise her normally soft voice above and over his own, a feat she would later be impressed by. “Sans, I’m not married!”

 “……y-yer not? then… then why did papyrus-”

 “IT WAS A JOKE. A JEST. A JAPE!” Papyrus interjected with another huff. “…BUT NOW I REALIZE MY MISTAKE. TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR… EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY AT THIS TIME, IT WAS… A RATHER CRUAL JAPE.”

 “yeah, it was.” Sans readily agreed, letting out a growl of his own.

 Papyrus mumbled another apology before returning to his usual persona. “NOW CAN WE RETURN TO HOME WITHOUT ANY FURTHER INCIDENTS, PLEASE? THERE, I SAID ‘PLEASE’.”

 “frisk… frisk really isn’t married…” He sounded so relieved. “uuunnh…”

 And once again, Sans was so overcome with emotion that he could only express it by spontaneously bursting into tears.

 “Papyrus, would it be possible for you to pull over, please?” Frisk timidly requested. “Maybe if I sit in the back with him, he’ll calm down for the rest of the ride?”

 He wordlessly nodded his consent, then visibly cringed at the sound of his brother blowing his nose into the sleeve of his jacket.

 “y-yer gonna sit in the back, frisk? with me?” Sans momentarily paused in his sobbing, but only just for a moment. “i’m so…haaaaappyyyyyy…”

 At the next traffic light, Papyrus let his forehead hit the top of the steering wheel with a loud groan.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 A while later, the three had reached the skeleton brothers’ house without too many more tears being shed. The drive home had only lasted about thirty minutes, but it had felt like hours to Papyrus. He just wasn’t equipped to handle Sans while he was in this condition, so it gave him some amount of relief that Frisk was the one who would be dealing with him.

 But only by a small amount.

 He didn’t completely trust Sans at the moment, and he would continue not to for as long as he was like this.

 “IF HE ATTEMPTS TO DO ANYTHING UNTOWARD, I GRANT YOU FULL PERMISSION TO WARD HIM OFF WITH THIS.”

 He then tried to present Frisk a wooden baseball bat riddled with nails. Curiously, there was also a bright red ribbon tied to the handle. Was this supposed to be a gift of some sort?

 “I really don’t think that will be necessary, Papyrus.” She gave him a weary smile. “Sans wouldn’t do anything… as you said, untoward. Even when he’s like this.”

 “YES, I’M FULLY AWARE THAT HE WOULDN’T. THAT WAS YET ANOTHER ATTEMPT OF MINE TO MAKE A JEST. IT SEEMS ALL MY JAPES ARE FAILING THIS EVENING.”

 “…Oh.” That was all she could say; he looked genuinely upset that he had failed to make her laugh, but only for a moment before his usual scowl returned just as quickly as it left.

 That wasn’t truly why he didn’t trust Sans right now; he knew his younger brother respected Frisk’s boundaries and wouldn’t harass her, even while intoxicated – no, what Papyrus couldn’t trust him with currently was…

 “TRUTH BE TOLD, IT’S NOT SANS THAT I AM CONCERNED WITH.” He began to confess, his expression contorting to one of concern. “OUR LIVES ON THE SURFACE WORLD ARE FAR DIFFERENT THAN WHEN IN THE UNDERGROUND, BUT I HAVE NOTICED THAT THIS WORLD IS NOT DEVOID OF VIOLENCE AND CRUELTY. THE OUTCOME OF OUR BRIEF EXCURSION TODAY REMINDED ME OF THAT… SO, IT WOULD EASE MY MIND SIGNIFICANTLY IF YOU WOULD ACCEPT THIS WEAPON I AQUIRED, SOLELY FOR YOUR PERSONAL USE.”

 “Oh, Papyrus…” She had misunderstood his intentions; he was only trying to protect her, in his own odd way.

 She gingerly took the nail bat from him, giving it a test swing at a safe distance from any of their furniture, just to make him happy. It did. When she turned around, it was quick, but she caught a glimpse of his smile. Not one of his cocky smirks, but his real smile. There was no other way for her to describe it but dazzling.

 “Thank you, Papyrus. I probably won’t have to use it, but I appreciate it and I’ll keep it nearby… because it came from you.”

 A deep scarlet rose over his cheekbones. He diverted his gaze from her, shyly.

 “THE CRIMSON RIBBON… IT’S THERE IN ORDER TO IDENTIFY ITSELF AS YOURS.”

 The Underground had three primary colors, each representing something the entire monster population held sacred to them.

 Red – Determination. The monsters craved this trait of the humans that imprisoned them above all else, so they donned its color for strength.

 Gold – Their currency. For money sometimes held more value than anything else in their bleak and dreary lives.

 Black – The Void. Its purpose unknown, and its existence constantly acknowledged and feared.

 Of these colors, red was the only one that held any true significance to the monsters since the breaking of the barrier. Because that was the color of the SOUL of the human that had brought them their salvation.

 The ribbon looked fancy, expensive even. Frisk couldn’t say she had ever wanted a nail bat, especially since she considered herself a pacifist. But she could tell that this gift came from Papyrus’s heart, metaphorically speaking.

 She took another moment to appreciate the ribbon’s texture before he awkwardly cleared his throat.

 “I MUST BE GOING NOW… I SHOULDN’T BE ABSENT FOR LONG. I EXPECT TO BE BACK SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN TONIGHT. BY THEN, THE ANESTHESIA SHOULD CERTAINLY HAVE WORN OFF. AFTER MY RETURN, MY BROTHER AND I WILL ESCORT YOU TO YOUR OWN HOME.”

 “Papyrus, that’s kind of you, but it really isn’t necessary. I live just down the road, remember?”

 When the brothers had first began looking for a house on the surface, the sole requirements they had listed were that it be located within walking distance of Frisk’s own home, and that Grillby’s was easily accessible from wherever their future residence was located –this second condition came solely from Sans. She didn’t understand herself why that last bit was so important to him when it was common knowledge to the three of them that he could easily teleport anywhere he wanted to go as long as he knew where his destination was located.

 And for whatever reason, it seemed both skeletons had assigned themselves as her bodyguards ever since they moved to the surface.

 “I WILL NOT ACCEPT ‘NO’ FOR AN ANSWER. I CAN COMPREHEND WHY MY BROTHER’S COMPANY MAY BE GRATING AT TIMES, BUT IS MY PRESENCE SO UNDESIRABLE AS WELL?”

 Oh, Papyrus was not above playing the guilt trip card on Frisk if it meant keeping her safe.

 “That’s not it at all! Neither of you are unwelcome around me-”

 “THEN YOU ARE IN AGREEMENT WITH MY SUGGESTION THAT WE ARE TO ESCORT YOU LATER TONIGHT…?”

 “I suppose there’s no harm to be found in it…”

 “OF COURSE THERE ISN’T. YOU SHOULD LEARN TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO RELY ON OTHERS MORE OFTEN, ESPECIALLY WHEN THIS OTHER PERSON IS MYSELF.”

 “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Good luck at the meeting, Papyrus.”

 “I HAVE NO NEED FOR LUCK; I CAN CHARM THE OPPOSITION TO SHIFT THEIR CONTRASTING OPINIONS IN OUR FAVOR WITH EASE, BUT I ACKNOWLEDGE THE SENTIMENT.” He was as delightfully conceited as ever as he said this, like a strutting peacock with its feathers fanned out. “KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSE BY – SHOULD YOU NEED MY ASSISTANCE, FOR ANYTHING AT ALL, I WILL CUT MY PRESENCE AT THE MEETING SHORT AND RETURN HERE. JUST FOR YOU. AS I KNOW YOU WOULDN’T INTERRUPT SOMETHING SO SIGNIFICANT FOR ANY REASON THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED FOOLISH.”

 She agreed to keep her phone on her person at all times while he was gone, and he allowed his gaze to linger on her for a short while longer than necessary before he stepped out the door, leaving Frisk alone with Sans tucked into bed upstairs.

 Sans had fallen unconscious the instant his head had hit the pillow. Guiding him up the stairs had been a challenge for them both; Papyrus could have simply lifted him and carried Sans up the stairs without the need for any issue, but Sans had insisted that Frisk help him alongside Papyrus, and neither of them were in any mood to hear another one of his tantrums.

 He had almost fell down on a few occasions, and a task that should have only taken a few seconds to accomplish instead took several careful minutes. The stocky skeleton had even briefly fell asleep halfway up and the two were forced to carry him with one of them grasping him at each end.

 “MIDNIGHT WILL HAVE PASSED BY THE TIME WE REACH THE LAST STAIR IF WE KEEP IT UP AT THIS RATE. I THINK WE CAN AFFORD TO GO A LITTLE FASTER, WOULDN’T YOU AGREE?”

 “Huff… That’s easy for you to say!” She panted, struggling to keep a firm hold on him. “You have the light end!”

 “SANS DOESN’T HAVE A LIGHT END.”

 And to emphasize his statement, Papyrus made them switch sides, nearly sending the slumbering skeleton down the steps for the third time since they began their gradual ascent when he suddenly tried to turn over in his sleep.

 Frisk hoped that Sans never got into another accident that would make him lose one of his teeth, because she wasn’t sure she could survive having to carry him up that flight of stairs again.

 Magical skeleton monster or not, he shouldn’t be that heavy! That was what she had thought then.

 The muscles in her arms ached, but at least she could relax a little now.

 They had brought Sans home at about six ‘o clock, and he remained asleep for a little over an hour before Frisk was alerted he was awake by him suddenly letting out an agonized wail.

 She quickly pounded up the stairs, his wails sounding as though he were in sincere and significant pain. When Frisk entered his room, she found him lying on his back, eye sockets wide open with his glowing irises shrunken down to pinpricks once more. His hands were clutching the sheets in a shaky grip, and his entire body was trembling violently.

 “Sans?” She called out to him softly, knowing that he didn’t seem to be completely there as of yet from whatever undoubtedly horrific dream it was he had escaped from. “Sans, it’s me. Frisk.”

 “…frisk?” He murmured after a long stretch of silence, his body stilling.

 His voice still sounded slurred, but less than before.

 “Yeah, it’s me. I’m right here. I’m here.” She slowly stepped across the carpet towards him until she eventually reached his bedside. “Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurting anywhere?”

 “…had a nightmare.”

 “Do you want to talk about it or…?”

 He shook his head from side to side, small streams of tears escaping his closed sockets.

 “That’s alright. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” Frisk sat down on the edge of his bed and softly cupped his cheeks, gently wiping the tears that fell with her thumb.

 He raised his own hands weakly to cover her own, his touch featherlight and barely there as he let out another wet sob.

 Unlike the several instances where he had burst into tears during the drive home, this spell of tears felt less like a small child’s tantrum and more like a plea for help. It was more akin to when he first woke up and noticed that Frisk and his brother were nowhere to be found. He had been seized by a sudden, almost primal fear, a deep loneliness that threatened to smother him if not immediately remedied.

 “i… i love you, frisk.” He choked out as he squeezed the top of her hand. “i love you so much… you don’t have to feel the same way that i do, but please, just let me love you and don’t leave me, ever…”

 This declaration, again, unlike when they were in the car together, sounded far more desperate and anguished.

 And it was also now undeniable that he intended his words to be perceived by her as being nothing but romantic in nature.

 Frisk wanted to convince herself that it was probably the anesthesia talking, that she must appear different to him while in this state and it caused him to act more needy, and she just happened to be the person closest to him during this time, so she was the one being subjected to his forsaken whiplash responses. Anyone else could be standing in her place at this moment and his reactions wouldn’t change - this is what Frisk tried to tell herself.

 But she found herself quickly getting sucked into the whims of this new side of him revealed to her, this lovesick and vulnerable Sans that was looking at her and only her.

 “Shh, shh, shh… Sans, it’s going to be alright. I’m right here, in front of you, holding you, and I’m not going anywhere.” She shushed him, attempting to calm him even if only slightly. “It’s okay for you to love me. I love you too.”

 “nooooo…” He groaned again, followed by a hiccup. “stop it. just stop teasing me like this! you don’t think i am, but i’m being serious! i love you, frisk. i really really love you! and not just as a friend either. i… i don’t want some no name human guy jerk to be the one to marry you. i wanna be the one to do that… i wanna marry you, frisk!”

 Frisk had never felt such a red-hot burning sensation in all her life. Her face was such a vibrant shade of crimson, it was nearly scalding. She was certain that if she could look in a mirror, it would appear as if she had received a severe sunburn, her face was so red.

 “Sans…” She began to trail away, but he grabbed her wrist and yanked her back towards him onto the bed and himself, wrapping his arms around her and pulling Frisk into his chest.

 She could hear a wild series of thumps coming from his ribcage, which produced a sound not unlike her own heartbeat at this point in time. There was no other thing that could have produced this noise but his SOUL, forlornly crying out for her own.

 “if… if you want a pretty ring, i’ll get one for you. i’ll get you one that’s much bigger and even prettier than the one on your finger. if it’s a fancy and expensive wedding you want, i can give you that too. it may take me a while, but i’ll make it happen, for you. if it’s kids you want, i’ll give you as many as you want our family to have, or none at all if you’d rather it be just us two… but if you do want some, i’ll provide for you and them the best i can, i promise, frisk.”

 He had said the ‘p’ word – promise.

 Sans hated making promises. While the monsters weren’t ones to honor their word while they had been immersed in the old ways of the Underground life, he still felt the word put him into a position of responsibility. That’s why he avoided that word at all cost.

 And Sans had just promised to love, marry, and have children with her if she so desired, three of the most responsibility-laden commitments known to mankind.

 Forget being flushed with embarrassment; her head was spinning far too much to even think straight now. How could anyone possibly think straight after hearing all this while being in her position?

 Sans slowly carded his phalanges through her hair in a manner that was meant to be soothing as he spoke, his tone much lower and softer than she was used to hearing. Her head was tucked under his chin and his other arm was draped across her back, preventing any possibility of a successful attempt at escape.

 Frisk was immensely thankful that Papyrus wasn’t here to see this. Otherwise, the taller skeleton might have actually made due on his previous joke about bashing his brother over the head with a bat covered in nails for this display of behavior.

 She wiggled uncomfortably, but instead of loosening his grip, Sans only held her tighter. He then adjusted the two of them into a slightly more comfortable position, as if that would fix the matter in some way. Sans must have thought so, because the hand that had been absentmindedly tangled in her hair moved to the back of Frisk’s head when she had been caught trying to raise herself up and pressed downwards, her ear directly over his ribcage where his SOUL was still hammering away against his bones.

 After lying there for a few more seconds, mulling over her options, Frisk finally decided to just be direct with him.

 “Sans, you’re gonna have to let me go.”

 “no. i don’t want to.” He held her even closer, somehow. “if you’re not here with me, you might go somewhere where i’ll never see you again. so… i’m never letting you go again. ever. simple as that.”

 “You can’t do that, Sans. It’s not possible.”

 “well not with that attitude.”

 “Sans!” She struggled, kicking her legs to little effect.

 “do you hate being with me that much…?” There was an audible hint of nervousness and uncertainty in his tone as he said this.

 She managed to lift her head enough to get a glimpse of his face, and she wasn’t prepared for how lost and alone it looked. He wasn’t trying to manipulate her with his words – Sans, at this moment, truly was drifting in a sea of self-doubt and was seeking for the answers in her.

 “Don’t say something so silly.” She reached up to pat his boney cheek, the texture smooth and oddly soft against her skin. “I enjoy your company. I love being with you, Sans.”

 “…i love spending time with you too, sweetheart.” He lifted the hand that had been behind her head and rested it over hers to keep it there, closing his eye sockets as he enjoyed the blissful warmth that emanated from it. “if i could have it my way, i’d never go a second without you. because i love you…”

 Frisk involuntarily shuddered; he had moved so his mouth was directly next to her ear. Hearing something like that, so possessive yet loving, with his breath ghosting over her skin… it was just too much.

 These affectionate, and nearly obsessive words that were coming from Sans were things she had secretly always wanted to hear.

 And it was terribly, horribly cruel.

 Because he was only saying these things because he wasn’t in complete control of his thoughts or actions.

 Anyone else could replace her at this scene and in this moment, and nothing would change.

 So no matter how much Sans insisted that his affectionate claims were true, she couldn’t believe a word of it until he was fully sober.

 “…ya never gave me an answer.” He spoke again after a while, almost causing her to jump at the abruptness. His voice was beginning to sound more slurred too. “i finally confessed to ya… i’ve told ya just about everything i’ve always wanted ta say to ya since when i realized i felt this way… but you never said a word.”

 “…” She still wasn’t sure what to say.

 “i’ve poured out my whole SOUL to ya, and it still ain’t enough…” Before she could come up with a reply, he started speaking again, his tone urgent. “then tell me what i can do ta have ya, to make ya mine.”

 “Sans-”

 “i’m not flirting with nobody but you no more cuz you’re the only girl i think is attractive anymore. could come home ta find some blonde thing in a skimpy red bikini, posed all seductive on my bed and i wouldn’t feel a thing. nothin’. ask her what she thought she was doin’ here an’ tell her to shove off.”

 Frisk absorbed his statement and then took a moment to dwell on it. Her mind did a replay of the time they had spent together on the surface, and she found she couldn’t recall a single instance of him flirting with anyone aside from herself. In fact, he almost looked annoyed whenever a member of the opposite sex flirted with him these days. It had certainly happened on a few occasions, and Frisk was there to witness it.

 “and i try not to cuss as much anymore cuz i know you don’t like it. same thing with the alcohol – i used to look forward to one day tryin’ the booze you humans got for myself if i ever got up here, but now i know you hate the smell, and drunk people scare ya, and you’re right: the risks just ain’t worth it. can’t get any of those diseases you humans get, but my mouth runs somethin’ wild plenty enough when ‘m not drunk.”

 “Oh, I know. Believe me, I know this now…” She thought, but also had to silently admit that everything he was saying was indisputably true.

 Sans had changed a lot since they had become friends.

 And she had been mostly blind to it, paying more attention to him for his misdemeanors than his efforts to change. He had been silently working to improve himself, and Frisk hadn’t paid him any mind.

 It made her feel guilty, but she still couldn’t allow herself to believe that he really loved her – not yet.

 Her own crippling self-doubt and denial was stronger than her desire for affection.

 “so… what do i gotta do ta make ya fall in love with me?” He finally allowed her some breathing room, but only so he could gaze into her eyes – eyes were the window to the SOUL, and he needed a glimpse inside hers now more than ever. “i’ll do anything. really. anything ta make ya mine and mine alone.”

 “Sans… you don’t need to do anything. Not at all.” She smiled at him, but it wasn’t the one he liked, the one that would make his SOUL do somersaults and backflips every time he saw it. This one looked strained, forced. “I just… this is a lot to process… and I can’t really believe anything that you’re saying right now.”

 “why not?!” He replied, indignant.

 “Because… you’re not acting normal. You’re… you’re all hopped up on anesthesia right now. And, well… anesthesia makes people say a lot of crazy things that they normally wouldn’t. So until it’s worn off, I can’t believe you.”

 “so yer sayin’ ya can’t trust me cuz I’m drunk? ya think ‘m not tellin’ the tooth?!” He spat; his voice was really slurred now. “the-the nerve ‘a ya! i-i’ll have you know… that i am cone sold stober…!”

 Frisk just smiled at him, almost smugly as realization bloomed across his face, that what he just said didn’t sound right.

 “wait, wait, wait. crap. i… i’ve got this, just… gimme a minute…” His eye sockets began to narrow sleepily.

 “Sans, I’ll make an agreement with you, about your confession,” He perked up just slightly, now rapt with attention. “Tell me again in a little while. Then I’ll give you a proper answer. But first, you need to sleep.”

 “ok, i promise. but-but… how can i… possibly sleep…” His body was growing heavier and heavier. “when i know that… when I wake up… the most important moment a’ my life…”

 The back of his head hit the pillow with a soft ‘pomf’. She sighed, but felt a bit of anticipation as she disentangled herself from him and tucked the covers up to his chest again.

 She gave his cheek another gentle pat and made her way out of his room, hoping that this time no nightmares plagued his sleep and that he was in his right mind when he next awoke.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 At about nine-thirty, a half an hour before Papyrus’s scheduled return, Frisk once again heard sounds coming from Sans’s bedroom.

 She put down her book and padded up the stairs, opening his door and praying to herself that the mostly sane Sans she knew had returned.

 “uuuugh, i feel like i got hit by a freakin’ sixteen-wheeler truck! fully loaded!” He groaned, clutching his cranium crabbily.

 “Oh, Sans, you’re back!” She couldn’t help but shout, causing him to flinch and she gave a quick apology.

 “did i go somewhere…?”

 “Kind of? You went to the dentist.”

 “…oh yeah, that did happen. i’m remembering that now… can we not talk about it? i don’t wanna think about it.”

 “Certainly. And how are you feeling?”

 “aside from feeling like my bones were hollowed out and got loaded with rocks? pretty ok, i guess? everything’s kind of a hazy blur ta be honest.”

 “Is that so…?” She laughed, but it sounded so forced, to both of them.

 “…why are my zygomas wet?” He reached up to touch his cheekbones, his confused expression contorting into one of disgust. “feels like i’ve been cryin’. …i didn’t… do that, did i?”

 “…”

 “frisk.”

 “Yes, you did cry…”

 “how much?”

 “When you first woke up, when you woke up again, on and off nearly the entire ride home-”

 “holy sh-” He caught himself. “crap… oh crap… you… and you saw everything… you must’a been so embarrassed an’ grossed out.”

 “No, no, Sans… it’s… it wasn’t like that.” Frisk rubbed at her arm, averting her gaze.

 “then what was it like?”

 “…I’m not sure how to describe it.”

 “indescribable. just like paps said.”

 “…”

 He didn’t remember.

 He didn’t remember what he had said to her…

 It was taking every ounce of her willpower not to burst into tears herself.

  “You idiot. How could you let yourself believe, even for a second that-”

 “frisk… can you come ‘ere for a sec?” He asked, his tone quieter, softer.

 It wasn’t helping her wounded heart and SOUL at all that it was the same one he used when he had said all those beautiful things to her earlier. But she did as he requested and walked towards him, Sans not saying another word until she reached his bedside.

 “hey, sweetheart…” He lifted one hand to cup her cheek, rubbing his thumb across her skin. “why ya cryin’?”

 She didn’t answer him. Instead, she ripped herself away from him and his touch, as painful as it was to do so, and turned around, refusing to face him.

 “babydoll? frisk?” He tried to unwind himself from the sheets, but she froze him in place once again.

 “Stop it! Just stop it, Sans! Please!”

 “stop what?! i don’t understand what your problem-”

 “No, you don’t, and that’s exactly what the problem is!” She wailed, knowing that she shouldn’t and couldn’t take out her feelings of hurt on Sans – none of this was his fault.

 It wasn’t his fault that she was an unlovable mess that also couldn’t accept even the most simple gestures of affection.

 Frisk stood there, crying her heart out and neither knowing quite entirely why until she decided she’d made a fool of herself enough for the night and quite possibly for the rest of her life. Just as she reached for the doorknob, his voice stopped her, barely above a whisper but somehow still audible over her sniffles and sobs.

 “sweetheart… i’m sorry…” Sans spoke, his voice filled with genuine sympathy and warmth.

 “Why… why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything…”

 “and that’s the problem. i… didn’t do something i was supposed to, right?” He smiled wearily at her. “i broke a promise. i promised i’d tell ya how much i loved ya when i woke up sober and then i didn’t.”

 “So… you remember?”

 “i do now.” He sighed, sitting up. “some things are still a little hazy… but, i remember everything that had to do with you. i… i meant everything, frisk. every word. what i said, those were just a handful of the things i think about when you’re on my mind, every day, constantly.”

 “Sans…”

 “but… you don’t feel the same, do you? i was thinkin’ you might of told me to wait because you were tryin’ to think of a way ta let me down easy, so i hesitated on telling you how i felt again. but then you started cryin’ for seemingly no reason except for i didn’t speak up when i said i would, so… i’m… kinda gettin’ some mixed signals here.”

 “…” Frisk still couldn’t say anything, even now.

 “come ‘ere, babydoll. let’s talk this out.” He patted the empty space next to him on the bed, urging her to sit down. “i’ve said how i feel, now it’s your turn. give me the honest truth. i can take it…”

 He was still expecting a rejection, and he had lied.

 He was certain he would dust instantly if she turned away his love.

 She sat down next to him, crawling up on the bed to sit crisscrossed. Frisk opened and closed her mouth several times, but nothing would come out. Not until Sans reached out to take her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back.

 “Sans… I… this is so hard for me to do.” She choked out.

 Sans’s posture stiffened.

 He was readying himself for a rejection.

 “It’s just… nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

 His shoulders first slumped out of relief, then jumped up with surprise.

 “…nobody ever said they loved you?” He had to say it himself just for the concept to soak in.

 “Never. I… Sans, you have to understand; nobody has ever treated me like you or the other monsters do. I spent my entire life believing that I must have been some sort of mistake, that I wasn’t supposed to be here and had no place in the world… So the reason I even ended up in the Underground in the first place… was…”

 “oh, sweetheart…!” He said in a gasp, gathering her up in his arms and began rocking her in their embrace. “oh, stars sweetheart, you don’t gotta say anything… not if you don’t want to. nobody’s forcing it out of ya. but… you don’t feel the same way now that you did then, do you?”

 “No, not anymore. And… it wasn’t like that, Sans. Not how you think it was.” Frisk gazed up at him, attempting to console him now even though she was the one crying. “I didn’t jump if that was what you were thinking. I climbed Mount Ebott as a self-imposed exile. I just… it was dark. I didn’t see that hole in the ground…”

 “even if ya didn’t jump, it’s still just too sad for my SOUL to take, sweetheart.” He held her tighter, his bones clattering softly. “you came all the way out there, all by yourself, because you were that lost and lonely… and you could of died!”

 “But I didn’t-”

 “but you still could have! you could have died when you hit the ground! you could’a snapped your spine in two… or broke so many bones that you couldn’t even walk… then you would of starved to death if some other monster didn’t find you and finish ya off… you would have died… and you might of never got the amount of determination to SAVE, LOAD, and RESET… and i never would have met you… oh, stars, it could’a happened!”

 He held her so tightly that it almost became difficult to breathe.

 Now he was sobbing.

 “frisk, i can’t even imagine what kinda life you must of lived before, but…” He released her just enough to grasp her face in his hands again. “everybody i know loves ya frisk, and even if they didn’t, even if everybody else in the world hated you, and everybody else in the world hated me for it… i would still love you.”

 “Sans…!” She buried her face back into his chest. “Sans, that’s… that’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear! Oh, stars, Sans! I love you too!”

 “shh, shh, shh… it’s alright, sweetheart. it’s ok to let it all out, but remember to breathe.”

 He was such a hypocrite, was what she might have wanted to say if she were less of a mess, but right now she just wanted to bask in the warmth of his love.

 His love for her and only her.

 After several more minutes of sobbing, they both had finally managed to compose themselves.

 “…Look at us. Now our faces are both a mess.” Frisk laughed.

 “you’re still beautiful, though.”

 Her cheeks turned red at that, but now it wasn’t flushed from crying.

 “Well, I thought that you looked cute when you were crying at the dentist’s office.”

 “‘ey, i thought i asked ya ta not talk about that.”

 “Alright…” She pretended to pout.

 Her expression was so cute that Sans couldn’t resist bending down to give her a peck on her scrunched up nose.

 “so… you love me.”

 “Yes, I do, Sans.” She quirked an eyebrow at him – it sounded like what he had to say was leading up to something.

 “so does this mean you’ll marry me?” Bless him, he sounded so excited when he asked her that.

 “No.”

 “oh…” And then his shoulders immediately sagged, along with the corners of his mouth.

 “Not yet, at least.” She patted the top of his skull placatingly with a chuckle. “It’s still a little soon for that, but… I’m also not saying it’s entirely out of the realm of possibility. Especially if you continue to be as sweet and loving as you’ve been tonight.”

 If Sans had a tail, it would have been wagging so fast it wouldn’t be detectable by the human eye.

 “really? ya mean it? then can i tell everyone we’re engaged?”

 “No.”

 “aww… no fun allowed.” This time it was Sans’s turn to pout. “…can i say we are to some of the guys that try ta mess with ya so they’ll screw off?”

 “…Maybe.” She almost laughed at how quickly his expression changed from sulky to joyful. “Why do you want to get married so quickly, anyway?”

 “because… back in the underground, that’s what you did when ya loved someone and they loved you back. it was kill or be killed, so if you didn’t do what you wanted to today, you might not get to tomorrow… so that was why i decided ta be different than everybody else and do absolutely nothin’.”

 “Pfft! Sans…” She hugged him. “I don’t plan on going anywhere, and with you and Papyrus around all the time, not to mention the others, I doubt anything will ever hurt me. The surface is different than the Underground. We don’t have to rush this relationship along – we can enjoy it at our own pace.”

 “ok, but… i’d still totally be down for marrying you right now if you agreed to it.”

 “At least take me out on a date, first!” She snorted, elbowing his ribs.

 “ok! then let’s go on one - right now!” He stood up, his steps wobbly as he rushed towards the door. “then we can get married after!”

 “Sans, where are you going?!”

 “to get something to eat. what else?!”

 “Wait, Sans! I don’t think that’s such a good idea!”

 “why not? we’re just going to grill- aaaugh!”

 Sans let out a startled cry as he lost his footing on the stairs, screaming during the entire duration of his descent. He landed face down on the floor with a pained groan.

 “Sans! Are you hurt?! Say something!” She shouted, hurrying down the steps herself as quickly and carefully as possible.

 Sans’s hands fluttered towards his mouth, his eye sockets wide.

 “ow… my… my tooth! oh stars, not my tooth again! it’s gone!”

 Frisk let out a horrified gasp, hands coming up to clasp at her own mouth.

 He turned around to face her, and then removed his hands, revealing a cheeky and toothy grin, his golden one clearly visible and gleaming from the brightness of the living room lights.

 “juuuust messin’ with ya.”

 “You… You…” Frisk seethed, “Forget being a pacifist! I’m gonna clean your clock!”

 She ran towards him with fists flailing. He chuckled, sidestepping every blow she tried to land on him with ease. All until she slipped on the rug and it raveled up beneath her. She tripped forward, and Sans held out his arms to catch her. The both of them ended up knocked to the floor, Sans underneath her and Frisk on top of him just like before.

 He wrapped a bulky arm around her waist and grinned.

 “oh, i remember this part from earlier too…”

 She tried to stay mad at him, she really did. But the sight of the smugness on his face melting into an eager smile as he leaned his head towards her with slightly puckered bony lips quickly extinguished any fury she may have previously felt.

 Frisk tilted her head to the side so her nose and his nasal ridge wouldn’t collide with each other, but he took the time to brush the tip of his against hers – a nose nuzzle, as they had called it Underground. Then they leaned towards each other more, about to close the distance between their lips for real for the first time.

 And at that moment, they heard the door open.

 Papyrus stood there, standing at the doorway still as a statue, his left eye socket twitching.

 None of them said a word for what felt like the longest, until…

  “this… is exactly what it looks like.

[floof-reppu]

Aight, so… this is my piece for the BNHA Writer's Fest, written for @ellectric-blue. I wanted to give you the best quality writing I could manage with my knowledge and time crunch, so I chose to write for Yaoyorozu. I've been a little bit preoccupied lately with a lot of family issues since it's that time of year, but nonetheless I was able to pump this out for you just in time. Happy Holidays to you!

Word Count: 2.4k

—

It was getting to be that time of year yet again; Christmas was just around the corner.

Many hours were always dedicated to shopping for friends and loved ones, this year being no exception. You had gotten to know your current friends over the course of the past few months, especially living at the dorms together with them for at least half that time. Going through such hardships together with your classmates solidified your bonds with one another and made this Christmas feel special to you.

The lot of you decided to host your own Secret Santa of sorts, which was fun and all, but you ended up drawing a name you… didn't exactly expect or desire to draw. Momo Yaoyorozu was more than just a fellow classmate or a friend; to you, she was your crush. To say that you were absolutely terrified was an understatement. She was rich beyond measure, something that you couldn't compare to in the slightest.

Yaoyorozu wasn't much of a materialistic girl thankfully, but it was hard to point out her exact interests and put them to heart. As far as she was concerned, she bought things out of habit and would rather better the economy than use her quirk and imbalance it. Maybe she would like something that you made yourself?

Instead of dawdling on the thought, you instead decided it might be nice to learn how to crochet. Homemade gifts were the best, because it shows how much you care, the time dedicated and the overall process being most meticulous. A scarf would look lovely wrapped around Momo's neck (and possibly around your own as well), a winter coat look sounding appeasing to you, and crocheting one couldn't be all that hard… right?

Your time limit made everything all that more stressful, as well as trying to hide the supplies from your fellow classmates, especially Ashido. If she found out, she would have an absolute fit and press for more information, which you couldn't have at all. That's why you did shopping by yourself, picking out the softest yarn at your disposal. The colors you'd chosen were a compliment to her hero costume: crimson and silver. They both look good on her regardless, but you thought it would be nice for a potential outfit.

Smuggling the materials into the dorms without getting caught wasn't as hard as you thought it would be, given that everyone was preoccupied with one thing or another. However… you did catch a glimpse of Yaoyorozu, and— well, she's walking over here now. Shit.

"Oh, Y/N? Everyone was wondering where you had gone!" The smile she had on her face sent butterflies through your stomach. She glanced down at the bag in your hand which you tried your best to hide from plain sight, but was too wide. "You went to the store? What did you buy?"

"Oh, ah… just a few things, nothing special…" You had to get away from her, and quick. Her eyes continually glanced at the bag, which you kept moving around to block from her sight. "Anyways, what are you up to? Not doing any shopping?"

"There's no need! I purchased my present the day I drew a name!" Momo had her hands folded in front of her body oh so characteristically of her as she spoke proudly. Of course she would have purchased something already. "It was quite easy for me to choose for the recipient of my Secret Santa gift."

"Oh… well, I'm still thinking of what to get mine."

"I'm sure whatever it is will be amazing, Y/N. You're such a thoughtful person, and I know whoever receives your present will absolutely cherish and adore it."

There she goes again, saying something so beautiful that it makes your heart melt. She always seemed to know just what to say to put you to ease, but it made you feel even more pressured to make your gift as perfect as possible so she isn't disappointed. Momo seemed to notice the awkward silence you gave her, blushing a bit out of embarrassment.

"I hope I haven't said anything wrong, Y/N."

"Oh, no! Not at all! I'm just thinking about what you said… thank you, Yaoyorozu. I'm going to start working on my gift now."

And with that, you gave her a small wave before going to your dorm room and practically throwing the yarn to the side. She almost caught you red-handed, but thankfully you were able to change the subject quick enough before she had the nerve to peek in your bag.

Opening the lid to your laptop, you searched up a tutorial on how to crochet a scarf, and thank goodness there was one that popped up immediately that seemed to be reliable enough to follow. You almost forgot that you bought the needles as well (because how would you have been able to crochet without the needles). Grabbing all the materials from the bag, you started to work on your hopefully wonderful masterpiece for Momo.

—

Weeks had passed since that fateful day, and with every new talent came bumps in the road. You had failed at least five times trying to make the scarf the way you wanted it to turn out, even while following the tutorial. Yarn was wasted and you even had to make a second trip to the store to purchase even more of it.

But your hard work finally paid off, and in front of you sat your finished creation. Each thread was carefully crocheted together perfectly, and you couldn't wait to present it to your crush. Putting it in a box and wrapping it up, you didn't put your name on it, instead writing Your Secret Santa on the tag. You didn't forget to put Momo's name on it, though.

Going down to the first floor, the tree looked marvelous and grand in the middle of the lobby. Presents were already adorning the underside of the tree, while bulbs and lights alike decorated the branches. A star was placed on the top, shining brightly and looking over you and everyone else. You remember putting it up with your friends vividly, as if it just happened yesterday. Iida and Yaoyorozu did most of the clean up when it came to the decorations, all of them being strung in the same places on the tree. Moving them so it looked nice was a must.

And there she was, Momo Yaoyorozu, dressed in some of the most Christmas-like articles of clothing she owned and sitting alone. Placing your present under the tree, you swiftly took a seat beside her, a blush evident on your cheeks.

"Merry Christmas, Yaoyorozu." She turned to face you as you spoke, a bit surprised since she wasn't really paying attention to the seat beside her before now. She returned your greeting earnestly, eyes closed and a wide grin taking up her face.

"Thank you, Y/N, and a Merry Christmas to you too. Are you excited for the Secret Santa present exchange?"

"Yes, I am. I can't wait for a certain someone to open my gift and hopefully smile just like a kid when they see what it is."

"I see. I'm quite confident that my gift with have that same effect, but I'm not sure… maybe I overdone it?" Momo opened her eyes, and for a second you saw a hint of doubt in her expression. "Gifts aren't always things you should buy, that much is for certain. Sometimes I wish Mother and Father would stop purchasing them and be a tad more creative."

"Do you get the same things every year?"

"Unfortunately so. Clothes are always high on the list as well as the newest technologies, but once in a great while I might receive something completely different."

"Really? Like—"

"Everyone, we are now going to start passing out the Secret Santa presents! Please refrain from opening yours until they are all handed out!" Iida was ever the wise one and cut you off, but for a good reason at that. Both Yaoyorozu and yourself directed your attention to the blue-haired president and his wild hand gestures as he spoke. The raven-haired girl beside you took that as her cue to stand up, dusting off her skirt.

"I apologize, Y/N. It's my duty as the vice president to help Iida with handing out the presents. You wouldn't mind saving my seat though, would you?"

"Of course not, take your time."

In a little less than ten minutes, everyone had their present on their lap. Ashido looked to be the most excited to open hers, while Bakugo glared at his. Your present seemed to be big, but not heavy, so you took it as something that was either a gag or a very expensive item (because everyone knows the smaller the gift the more it costs these days). Yaoyorozu sat down beside you yet again when she was finished, the box you had so precariously wrapped earlier placed on her legs.

"I'm quite curious to see what I've received. It's not on the heavy side, but…" She looked over at your present, the curious side of her lighting up yet again. "Perhaps you have a clue as to what your gift is, Y/N?"

"Not a clue. It looks like it would be something big, but it's so light that it doesn't feel like much." You wanted to shake the box, but you didn't want to break whatever was inside if it was fragile. Trying to keep the attention off of you, your head glanced down at the box in Momo's grasp. "Why don't you open yours first? We can see what each other has gotten that way."

"That is a very smart idea, Y/N. Very well, I'll open mine first."

Her hands went and tugged at the bow you added at the very last minute, pulling it free and making it easier for her to tear off the wrapping paper. She read the tag, a bit confused as to why there wasn't another person's name written. Nevertheless, she tore off the rest of the paper and lifted the lid to the box. Tissue paper covered your creation as well as a card you decided to put in so she knew who it was actually from. Pulling it out, she unfolded the envelope and stared wide-eyed at the card.

Momo Yaoyorozu,

I thought of you when I made this scarf for you with my own hands. Your family spoils you with material possessions, and nothing that comes from the heart. They want to make you happy with whatever you desire, but that's not what Christmas should always be about. It's about giving others heartfelt, thoughtful gifts. I hope you cherish this scarf as much as I cherish the time I spent making this for you. I wouldn't have it any other way.

With much love,

Y/N

You saw tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she read the card. She threw the tissue paper aside and took out your real gift, the one you handmade yourself. The silver accented the crimson perfectly, and she clenched the material in her hands. The tears started to flow like a fountain; that's when you knew that you did the right thing.

"Y/N, I… just can't believe that you spent so much time making this for me. You didn't have to do this—"

"I didn't do this because I had to, I did this because I wanted to. I… meant every word that I wrote on that card, Momo. I love you so much, and I would do anything for you. I wanted to make you smile, because God how I love it when you smile. I messed up a lot of times while I was making that, and even while training and studying I managed to get it done for you in just the nick of time," You paused, catching your breath and chuckling slightly, "but anyways, I hope you like—"

"Like it? Y/N, I absolutely love it. This is the most thoughtful present I've ever received. Thank you from the bottom of my heart," Momo wiped the tears away from her eyes and wrapped the scarf around her neck, her gaze fixed on yours, "so… would you care to open yours now?"

You nodded, prodding carefully at the paper covering your present. Whoever wrapped it used a lot of tape, which wasn't the best idea in a situation like this, so it caused you to take a bit of extra time tearing it off. Finally, it was revealed to you.

The one who had your name was none other than Yaoyorozu herself.

Neither of you expected for it to end up this way, but it was quite the pleasant surprise. You looked at the culprit out of the corner of your eye and opened the box at the same time, revealing a card for you as well.

Y/N,

I know how much you adore the Christmas holiday, as well as books. I myself, as you may already know, enjoy both just as much as you. My gift to you comes from the heart, as I have purchased a book full of Christmas fables for us to enjoy. I would love for us to sit under a blanket together and read it.

This is the most discreet way I could confess my romantic feelings. I would very much love to spend more time with you, as well as… get to know you more than I already do.

Please accept my invitation as well as my feelings.

Momo Yaoyorozu

This was… no way was this happening.

"Y/N…?" Momo sounded worried, her pitch lowering drastically as she met your gaze once again.

"Yes. Yes, Momo, of course I accept your feelings." Now you were the one that was tearing up, grasping the book in your hands and letting the box drop on the ground. "I want this to be the first thing we do together. Tonight."

"I would love to, Y/N."

You spent the rest of the night in the comfort of your own room, Momo and yourself wrapped in a blanket with no worries whatsoever as you took turns reading aloud the many tales. When you were at the last few pages, a blank space was occupying them.

This was where you were going to write your own Christmas Story, with you and Momo as the main characters.

You would never, ever forget this day.

[keeroo92]

Be My Nightmare Ch9

Freedom

Warnings for murder, gore and mutilation.

Word count - 3,487

~~~~Previous Chapter~~~~

________

---V---

Pine needles and loamy earth muffled his hurried steps. Quiet huffs slipped through his parted lips and metal warmed under his fingers as he kept the cuffs still. Somewhere not far behind him, shouts of alarm rang through the trees as staff members hunted him down like cattle.

But he was no one’s prey.

He was the predator.

They used an insipid grid pattern to search; it was child’s play to navigate around their movements. Honestly, how did they expect to find anything when they traipsed about so noisily? Even an imbecile would hear them coming.

It took him less than five minutes to get into position, crouched on a low hanging branch directly in line with the grid. Kelly’s death was a mere appetizer; it was time for the main course. He licked his lips and shifted his weight, eyeing his target as it approached without a clue.

“Section seventeen, clear,” the orderly said, holding a small walkie-talkie to his lips. Not standard issue; it was wise to wait.

Three… two… one… now!

The artist dropped onto the unsuspecting fool, the chain of his handcuffs serving as an excellent tool to crush the man’s trachea. He braced his legs on the man’s spine, using all his body weight to force the chain ever deeper, just to be sure. He couldn’t afford any mistakes.

Wet gurgles accompanied his victim’s pathetic clawing, vessels in his eyes popping as his face twisted into a lovely new arrangement of despair. V hummed happily and brought his lips to the dying man’s ear, shivering in delight as he chose the last sentence the man would ever hear.

“You should’ve stayed home today.”

A final gasp and the man went limp, falling forward into the dirt and leaves. A sadly bloodless death, but to be so up close, to feel the final heartbeat… there was no feeling like it.

The artist had total control in those moments.

How much things had changed in the time since school. The man he’d been never would have made it this far. He knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Ignorant and unaware, easily caught off guard and unable to respond quickly in a crisis. That man would’ve gotten himself killed months ago.

This ain’t the time, Van Gogh. Keep moving.

Griffon was right, he couldn’t tarry. No more distractions, not until he was out of their reach. He made quick work of the man’s pockets, taking the walkie talkie and a protein bar. No key, unfortunately, though that would’ve been far too easy.

The artist narrowed his eyes and chose a direction, darting in a mostly straight line through the trunks and foliage. If he went in the same direction long enough, he was bound to find civilization. Instead, he found the stone wall he glimpsed mere minutes before. Heavy blocks of unknown origin stacked in uneven patterns, pleasing to the eye but not to the touch. His hands slid right off.

“Damnit…”

A subtle roar and soft clatter of crystal echoed from his left. The brush of warm fur under his hands, prowling pawsteps as Shadow came to his aid. Her glowing eyes met his and her tail flicked across his face, her massive claws gouging a path for his hands in the accursed wall.

“Perfect timing,” he murmured, fingers already caressing the fresh crevasse left behind. Much better, plenty of friction now.

A few moments of clumsy scrabbling later and he crouched atop the stones. This was it. Freedom. No more restraints, no more Kevin. No more medication or group therapy sessions where he had to pretend to care about his fellows.

No more Y/N.

The thought gave him unexpected pause. While he planned to return and have his vengeance, there was no guarantee you would still be there when he did so. He may never see you again if he left. It ached, to imagine a life spent alone.

It doesn’t matter – you need to move!

Yet his legs refused to move. What a tragedy, for you to remain blind to all he had to offer. Perhaps he should’ve waited before spurring Ken into action, taken more time to show you his world. You showed so much promise…

A pulse of mind-numbing pain rippled across his flesh. His body was fire, his nerves magma and his blood, acid. The artist doubled over and clutched at his belly but it was too much. Saliva flooded his mouth as his stomach spasmed and reacquainted him with his most recent meal. If it weren’t for the vomit, he surely would’ve screamed and gotten himself caught.

“Move. Now.”

The agony faded and he wiped his mouth, searching for the source of the insidious voice. Jade eyes widened as he spotted gnarled feet encased in what might be armor, but the texture wasn’t quite right. It couldn’t be flesh, not in that blueish-black tone.

Ropes of muscle and sinew extended upward, outlandish hooks and spikes here and there. And, was that an eye?

The legs moved, stepping closer. Indeed, it was an eye. One of many blinking from the creature’s form in a hideous shade of orange. He’d never seen such a grotesque being, not even in his nightmares.

“Ur… Urizen?” he stuttered.

A clawed hand reached out to him, lifting his chin to meet the creature’s gaze. It’s eyes glowed with malevolent light and the artist shivered, suddenly glad the being was connected to him. As long as Urizen needed him, he was safe from his true cruelty.

“Indeed. Do as I command and I can end your suffering.”

An echo of his earlier agony twinged his mind, just enough to drive the point home. A feather’s caress in comparison yet still enough to force his eyes closed and drag a hiss from his throat.

When he opened his lids, Urizen was gone. He took one last look at the facility and turned away. Yes, it was regrettable that he had to leave you behind, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on that. His conflicted emotions weren’t the focus right now, only his continued movement.

Descending the other side proved far easier than climbing. More trees greeted him, soft grass and pine needles muffling his steps as he jogged away. All he had to do now was put some distance between himself and the facility, and then he’d need to figure out a hiding place. Perhaps a change in attire, and he certainly wasn’t going to leave his hands cuffed forever.

Hours passed in silence as he trekked ever onward. Even his friends remained silent. The stillness soothed him, he rarely had the pleasure of plotting in solitude.

At long last, with the tree’s shadows reaching for him as the sun set, he found it. A road, thankfully empty. If he were spotted now, with hands still cuffed and wearing the standard issue white linens of the facility, he’d end up right back in that accursed room.

Following the asphalt brought him to the edges of a city before the stars were fully visible. Perfect timing, he wouldn’t need to worry as much about passerby if everyone was safely indoors.

Safely…

The artist smirked. Now that he roamed the streets, none were truly safe. They’d learn to fear the night and dread the shadows. But first things first.

He ducked into a trash-strewn alley and slammed the walkie-talkie against the bricks, cracking the casing open to expose the circuitry and wiring. Several options confronted his gaze, but he settled for a pair of copper wires and got to work.

Within moments, he regained the ability to stretch his arms in any direction he liked, and he didn’t waste a second in doing so. One should never neglect the simple pleasures.

“C’mere, baby. This’ll work just fine,” said a man’s voice.

V crouched behind a dumpster instantly. A feminine giggle followed the voice, loud and careless footsteps growing closer. Poor lost souls, how unfortunate for them that they chose this alley on this night, when a predator lurked.

More giggles, the soft thud of a body pressed on stone. Rustling cloth and a quiet whimper of need.

Not yet… a moment more.

The artist shifted his weight and rolled his eyes. If they could just get on with it… How inconsiderate of them to take so long to lose themselves in pleasure.

“Ah! James, please!”

The woman sounded as impatient as he felt. What did they look like? His size, or would he need to find others? Better to be sure. Keeping to the shadows, he peeked around the metal that concealed him.

Perfect!

The man faced away, pinning the girl against the bricks and out of view. He looked to be slightly shorter than he, but with a similar build. Cropped hair did nothing to hide his gauged ears and tattooed neck, currently being assaulted by the young woman’s mouth. Her small hands pawed at the man’s leather jacket, pausing only to stroke the bulge between his legs. Muttered curses accompanied her efforts and even in the darkness, his reactive thrusts were obvious.

The two lacked any class whatsoever.

V watched in silence as the two exposed one another’s skin to the pale moonlight. He caught glimpses of the girl’s body, her milky skin and the delightful roundness of her chest. The man at least had good taste, physically speaking. Heat coiled in his gut, his cock a growing stiffness he refused to indulge until the work was done.

The moment he heard them gasp in unison, he made his move. With silent steps he crept behind the man and looped the chain of his cuffs around his neck. He would have preferred a knife, but desperate times…

“What the f-“

A sharp tug and all that remained was a corpse. The girl screamed, yet she was too foolish or terrified to run as her companion fell to the filthy ground. Without his body in the way, her full figure gleamed as if on display just for him. Truly, the universe was kind to provide him all he desired.

“Oh fuck! Oh, shit fuck what the fuck?!” she cried, utterly incoherent. No matter.

He slapped her, his eyes threatening endless horrors if she didn’t silence herself. With his other hand, he brought her shaking fingers to press against his cock, forcing her to stroke him and ease the ache even a fraction. Slowly, her curses and shouts turned to sobs and he smirked. Good enough.

Now, how best to use her? It’d been so long since he had such creative freedom. Perhaps… oh, how perfect.

A small clip held something inside the man’s pocket. The artist hummed and tugged it loose, chuckling as he flicked open the small blade. Could this night get any better? He doubted it.

“On your knees, girl. Right over there,” he ordered, a wicked grin twisting his lips as she obeyed.

He had to admit, she was quite beautiful, yet he would make her even more so. Without his tools, this would be far from his best work, but he’d make do. Images and ideas flowed though his mind and his heart raced in anticipation.

The girl squeaked as he joined her, towering over her huddled body. Silver glinted in his teeth where he held the knife, freeing his hands to explore her quivering body. He traced every curve and valley, planning his desecration. Stomach, thighs, ass, hips, all his to decorate however he pleased.

His fingers crept higher, tracing the roundness of her chest. A soft whimper slipped through her lips and he pinched, hard enough to bruise. Distractions would not be tolerated. She was his canvas; she should be thanking him for all she would become.

“P- please! Let me go!”

Forgetting the blade between his teeth, the artist clicked his tongue and winced as copper flooded his mouth. He took the blade in hand and dipped his other hand into his mouth. Waste not, want not.

“No,” he murmured, and then he traced the first mark on her pristine flesh using his own blood.

Her sobs intensified, broken by begging every few moments. The artist tried to focus through her mewling but the girl simply refused to be silent. He’d have to do something. An unplanned adjustment, but he could make it work.

He pried her stubborn jaws open and carved. He didn’t need to be careful, it’s not like she was going to need any of her mouth to work anyway. Blood flooded the cavity, her throat spasming as he sawed away at her tongue and anything that got in his way. Small, feminine hands scrabbled against his arm but she was far too weak, and he too strong.

Something gave way under his blade, the resistance of seconds ag gone. The girl tried to scream, but only wet gurgling resulted form her efforts. Tears and blood alike smeared her cheeks. He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head before releasing her jaw, allowing her to cough up the gristle left behind.

He didn’t give her long.

---Reader---

The inexorable passage of time offered little comfort after your suspension. It still seemed like every minute lasted an hour, and every hour a week. Maddening. 

How has it only been two days?

You sighed and took another sip of coffee, settling into your now familiar spot on your couch. Nothing good was ever on cable, but you had nothing better to do. Maybe if you watched enough crappy soap operas they might start appealing to you?

Kotomi only made it worse, with her endless emails about which patient needed what, how to get them to talk to her, blah blah blah. You only gave her the answers because to refuse only tarnished your already bruised reputation. You couldn’t afford to add any more black marks to your record. Perfection was the only route forward.

At first, she tried to be friendly. She mentioned the latest gossip and asked about what you were up to with all the free time. How did she expect you to just ignore what happened? You weren’t going to pretend she hadn’t betrayed you or left you to take the fall for her failure. And she never apologized. Infuriating. 

So much for friendship. Oh well, what use was it anyway? It wasn’t like she’d ever added anything meaningful to your life. Idle chatter, a distraction and the appearance of normalcy. Things only necessary when in a group setting. The outcast always got singled out, you knew from experience. 

But here you were, cast out yet again. 

And why does it hurt so much?

You pushed the thought away and changed the channel, might as well see what was happening in the real world. Normally the news bored you to tears, but who knew? Maybe today it would provide some entertainment.

“Local police still have no suspects for the recent killings downtown. So far, four bodies have been found, two of which missing the heart. It is recommended that you stay in your home after dark until the police have made an arrest, though no official lockdown has been initiated at this time. We’ll continue to bring updates as the story develops.”

So, V was still in the area. The heart thing was new, his last killing involved a liver and intestines, a kidney if you remembered right. Why the change? What did it mean?

If only I had my notes from our sessions! I know I could figure this out!

A far-too-cheerful ding broke your morose thoughts as a new email came in. No doubt more questions from Kotomi. You sighed and stood from your perch, stretching your arms as you padded to your laptop.

Sure enough...

Hello, Dr. Waras.

I have a question regarding Jacob Miller’s treatment. Have you had any success with hypnotherapy or suggestion? I thought it may help but if it’s already been tried, there’s not much point. Thanks in advance!

Dr. Kotomi Ishida

Oh, for the love of god... didn’t she read the man’s chart? Your notes were meticulous, every treatment method you tried was thoroughly documented. What a waste of your time. 

Still.

You typed a succinct reply stating that yes, you tried that and no, it was not successful in the least. If anything, it made his symptoms worse. A quick proofread later and off it went, its destination the one place you wanted to be but weren’t allowed.

Well, surely there were other places you wouldn’t be allowed. Monuments. A private home. Crime scenes.

Another ding, what now? Couldn’t she manage for ten minutes on her own, honestly...

But the sender was unknown, the subject line blank. Spam, probably. The filter wasn’t perfect. Bracing for an ad for men’s growth pills, you clicked on the message. 

Unknown has invited you to chat! Accept/Decline

You pursed your lips and glared at the screen. This had to be a joke, and you had absolutely no patience for it. You had enough to deal with without this nonsense. 

Do I? What else have I got to pass the damned time?

With a resigned sigh, you clicked accept and waited.

You rolled your eyes. Whoever it was, they were a cocky one. A shiver of foreboding trailed down your spine as you stared at the screen. You needed to be careful; without knowing who was on the other side, how would you know what information you could trust them with?

Something about the conversation felt familiar, but you couldn’t place why. You couldn’t deny the thrill at a new puzzle, a new problem to solve, but to be careless spelled disaster. It might be someone from work, trying to see if you’d reveal private info to a friendly stranger. Hell, it could be Malphas.

It didn’t seem like the Malphas you knew, but it seemed you didn’t know him as well as you thought.

Your mind sizzled, whirring faster than it had in days as all the pieces slid into place. Of course. How hadn’t you seen it sooner? Only one person you knew of had the taste for this kind of mind game. With trembling hands you responded, lips pursed and shoulders tense.

Shit. Shit, shit, motherfucking shit. Of all the idiotic, foolish, irrational things he could’ve done, he chose this? To contact you?

Why?

He’s too smart not to know how risky it is to talk to me. What in the world would make that risk seem worth it to him?

Possibilities flooded your mind, all the standard things that motivate people. Stupid, he wasn’t like most people, you couldn’t pretend his motivations were the same as anyone else’s. 

Okay, calm down. Think. Work the problem.

In your sessions, he came to life whenever you discussed art and philosophy. He traded knowledge of his personal life to gain access to the simplest of art supplies. He was curious, intelligent and wily. Not prone to impulsive decisions or taking unnecessary risks. A planner. Not to mention he had a healthy libido, if inappropriate. 

And an impressive...

Stop that.

You rolled your shoulders and hummed, still unsure about his reasoning. Perhaps you could just ask? Perhaps his freedom would make him more open to an honest conversation.

You almost laughed. Of course being direct got you nowhere. Always with the mind games... fine, if he wanted to play, he would lose.

You paused, unsure about his meaning. It felt like you were having two different conversations, about completely unrelated topics. What cage? You weren’t living in a cage. He had to mean something else, something subtle and hidden.

The back of your chair creaked as you leaned back, letting out a deep breath as the thrill of using your mind wore off. How you missed it, solving problems and finding solutions others didn’t dare to imagine. How could Malphas do this to you? He knew your background.

And he did it anyway. Maybe he doesn’t care.

A growl of frustration rumbled through your chest and you slammed the laptop closed. Enough wallowing, this was getting you nowhere. If talking to V was the best thing to happen to you since getting suspended, something was clearly wrong. Time to take action.

---V---

Full lips twisted into a smirk as he signed off. What a delight, how fortunate he’d come across this place. Such an interesting home, full of surprises. The cat, for example. Currently it sat on his lap, purring madly as he stroked its fur. He didn’t know its name, but it probably didn’t either.

Now, on to the next task.

“I still say blonde, Van Gogh,” Griffon cawed. He was perched atop the television, his usual spot since taking up residence here.

“And I say brown, it’s the most common and least likely to be noticed,” Vergil chimed in from the massive leather couch.

A muscle in V’s jaw twitched in annoyance. He needed to go out, there was no food left and the locals needed a reminder of his truth. But first, he needed to do something to disguise himself. For a day and a half, he and his friends argued over the best choice, and he was growing impatient.

Shadow flicked her tail at the white walls, her way of casting her vote. She lounged on a plush rug, bathing in the what little sunlight leaked through the venetian blinds.

At least Urizen wasn’t adding to the chaos. He’d never get a word in edgewise.

“Blonde!”

“Brown!”

Flick, growl.

Over and over again. Perhaps he ought to just shave his head and be done with it?

“Blonde! Everybody loves a blonde!”

“Brown, it’s inconspicuous and that’s the main objective!”

Flick, growl, flick.

“Enough!” V shouted, silencing all three at once. “I’ve had it! All you do is argue, and you’ve all missed the obvious!”

Three sets of quizzical eyes stared at him, waiting for an explanation. Instead of speaking, V headed to the bathroom, his friends in tow. He wasn’t sure how they all managed to fit in the tiny room, but somehow it worked out.

Elegant fingers rifled through several drawers before finding what he searched for. He knew there had to be some, the woman had ridiculous hair. No way she didn’t have some way of managing it.

“Wait, are you really gonna cut it?” Griffon prodded.

He didn’t want to. Having his hair like this was Nero’s idea, and he had far too little left of his friend. It took a year to grow it out and another year for him to get used to having a curtain of black blocking half his vision, but he honestly liked it now.

But every picture on the news of him featured him with long hair, draped over his face. This was the simplest way to change his appearance, there could be no argument. And hair grows back, eventually.

He raised the scissors high and prepared to make the first snip.

~~~~Next Chapter~~~~

[talpup]

Chaos: 38

Please remember, this fic is rated explicit and has warnings of violence, sex, questionable con, and non-con (though we’re thankfully done with that), and other possible triggers.

I am SO excited.  I’ve left bread crumbs all over this fic and we’re nearing the point that they’ve all been leading to.  That’s not to say I’m done laying bread crumbs.  There’s a few key ones in here even.

Hope you all enjoy the angst.  THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who have left comments recently.  They really brighten my day and make me want to get more of the story out for you all.

As always, a special thanks to @inorganicone2230​. I can’t express how grateful I am for your friendship, and help with ideas and proofreading Chaos and Erase the Shadow.  There’s no one else I’d rather go down the rabbit hole of plot bunnies with.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20155333/chapters/54145633

38.1

Hawks brandished his blade at Enji. “Where’s Reyanna?”

“Where’s my son?”

“Son?” The feathers of Hawks’ wings quivered, itching to be released after being restrained for so long.

Todoroki stepped out into the office. “Hello, Father.”

Father? Hawks thought looking between the Second Chief of heaven and the Child of Hope.  His eyes widened as realization dawn.

“Father!”

Todoroki and Enji stared silently at one another.

Hawks’ mind went into a tail spin, but first things first.

He lifted his blade at Enji and demanded.  “Where’s Anna?  What did you do to her?”

“Why would I know or care where the Bitch is.”  Enji snapped.  Burning blue eyes on his son, he ordered.  “Todoroki.  Come here.”

Hawks’ wings spread to block the Llaes’ way.

“No.” Todoroki said.

Hawks swallowed, relieved that Todoroki refused to go.

As surprising as the information was, it explained a lot.  Like how Todoroki had been able to freeze things back at Purgatory Chasm for one.  All the other Llaes’ before him had been fully human, and as such didn’t have an affinity.  Not even Abril.

Hawks turned his head slightly and looked at Todoroki out of the corner of his eye.  “How long have you known you were a nephilim?”

Fuck. It just struck him that the kid was like Reyanna.  A nephilim born of a human and… well in this case, an archangel.

Todoroki blinked and shook his head.  “Only recently.  Though I guess, in a sense, I always knew.”  He lifted his eyes to Enji.  “You’re not going to kill us.  So let us go.”

“You’re wrong.  I’m not going to kill you.  But the Released traitor here.”  Enji flames flared.  “Him I just might end.”

“Gook luck with that. My restraint’s been lifted.”

Enji barely glanced at Hawks.  The Released Archangel’s posturing didn’t even warrant a reply.

“Let us go, Father.”

Eyes on Todoroki, Enji remarked almost proudly. “You completed the second step.  A fete that vision-less Toshinori never thought possible. But if it wasn’t safe for you before, it certainly won’t be now.”

“Reyanna will protect me.”  Todoroki replied easily.

Enji scoffed. “Like she did with the others before you?  No, my boy.  That Bitch has failed too many times for me to trust her with you.  She betrayed the last Child of Hope and willingly gave her up to Lucifer.  Did she tell you that?”

“That’s not true!”  Hawks exclaimed.  “Aizawa took her and forced her. That fucking shit broke her and raped her.  Todoroki!”  He called behind him, eyes and blade still directed at the Archangel before him, ready to fight. “She didn’t betray the last Llaes.  There’s no way Anna would willingly give one of you up.”

Todoroki pressed his lips together.  His eyes lowered as if considering.

Finally he lifted his head, eyes locking with his Father’s.  “I don’t care.  I’m going.”

Enji’s eyes narrowed.

He doubted he would have been a good father.  But he would have been present if his son hadn’t been taken.  Stolen and hidden by some unknown source.  For years he had thought his son was dead.  That was until Todoroki had used his power for the first time.

As much as he wanted to ask his son what had happened, ask who or what had taken him, there were more pressing matters.

“How many steps are left?”  Enji asked.

“One.” Todoroki told.

“And which of the two gates will you close?”  Enji questioned.

“The one that needs it most.”  Todoroki answered.

“Hell.” Enji supplied.

“I will close the gate that will see all of this come to an end.  Never again will there be another Sealer.  I will be the last Llaes and put to right a wrong that begun back during the dawn of man.”  Todoroki said.

Enji nodded, understanding that his son spoke of hell and Lucifer’s incitement of the Fall when the then prideful Archangel refused to serve humanity.

“I still can’t let you go.”  The Second Chief of heaven gruffed.

Not only was his son too important as the Child of Hope, but he had just gotten the boy back.  This was the closest and longest he had been with him since before he was stolen away.

“I’m not asking you, Father.  I’m telling you.”

Enji crossed his arms and huffed.  “You think Toshinori’s ex Assassin can get you passed me?  Even with his Restraint lifted I can end him easily.”

“He’s needed to help with the final task.  If you end him the gates can’t be closed.”  Todoroki said.  Before either archangel could remark on the revelation, he asked. “Did you know my friend is a made Third?”

Enji’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Where was this coming from?  Who cared about the boys friends?  Though he wasn’t all that pleased that his son was fraternizing with Thirds.

“What?”

“My friend.  Shinsou Hitoshi.  His parents were kill by a pack of Were’s. Luckily he survived.  Aizawa found him like he found me.  He took Shinsou in.  Helped--”

“Aizawa’s the one that took you for me!” Enji thundered.

“He didn’t know.”  Todoroki told.

He couldn’t say how he knew Aizawa hadn’t known that he was the Chiefs son, he just did.

The Llaes was able to see into the future and past to some degree, though none had been able to do so to the extent that Abril had.  Other than that limited knowledge, and the ability to seal and unseal things, the Llaes had never been anything other than a regular human being.

But Todoroki wasn’t human.  He was a nephilim.  A true nephilim like Reyanna.  Yet still so unlike his protector.

Somehow he was able to use the creative freedom of his nephilim power to stretch the innate knowledge that came with being the Llaes.  It was a confusing thing that Todoroki had yet to learn how to control. At present, the excess detailed knowledge simply came to him out of necessity or urgent desire.

“If Aizawa had known I was your son, who knows what he would have done.”  Todoroki continued. “All he did was keep his promise to Reyanna by seeking me out and making sure that I was safely hidden till I first used my power. Which is more than I can say for you and heaven.”

“Excuse you.”  Enji stormed.

Todoroki stared at the hulking Archangel unaffected by his anger and flames.  “You have sworn to protect humanity but have left helpless, innocent children to be mauled by Were’s.  If it weren’t for Aizawa, Shinsou would have died.”

“Your friend’s a Witch, just like his parents were.” Enji dismissed.

“So if Shinsou wasn’t a Witch someone from heaven would have stepped in and saved him? His family wouldn’t have died?  He would have been spared the pain of being mauled?  Of being made a Third?”

“Of course not.  Thirds are abominations. Heaven doesn’t mix and meddle with them.”

“But what of the humans that the Thirds attack, Father? What of them?”

Hawks and Enji shared a looked.

The Second Chief sighed, his massive shoulders rising and falling. “You’re too young to understand.”

“Try me.  Convince me that heaven hasn’t simply abandoned the humans to Thirds.  You fight daimon's and demons to protect the lives and souls of humans. Why not Thirds?  What’s so different about them?”  Todoroki pressed, his hard eyes and set jaw making it clear that he would not be dissuaded.

With a growl Enji expelled. “They’re children of Chaos.”

A silent moment passed.

Finally Todoroki prompted.  “And?”

“The Thirds are simply too numerous.”  Enji admitted. “If they put aside their differences and banded together.  Became a united force like they were in the beginning.  They would overwhelm us.  They would overwhelm both heaven and hell.” He stopped.

Todoroki waited for him to continue but when it looked like he wouldn’t he opened his mouth.

“They almost undid God’s work once already.”  Hawks said before Todoroki could speak.

Enji looked away in disgrace.  It was something that no angel or daimon liked to speak of. A failure that still hung heavy over the entire Host of heaven.

“Long before the Fall.  Before any of us realized why God had created the earth.  We were at war with the children of Chaos.”  Hawks told.  “Most of them were weak and defeated easily enough.  But their numbers made them formidable.”  He shook his head and huffed.  “Ever been bitten by an ant?  It might smart but you can kill it with ease and shrug off the sting.  Now imagine being covered by ants, and every time you brush a swath of them away there are countless more that instantly take their place.  That was what we faced.  A nuisance too numerous to handle.  And then there were the Leviathan’s.”

“The creatures that escaped.  That the first Llaes sealed away.”  Todoroki supplied.

Hawks nodded.  “Only a handful of them broke out.  And the smallest ones at that.  Still, we were all lucky Abril was able to lock them away again.  If it weren’t for her, who knows the damage and lives their rampage would have cost humanity.”

“Enough of the history lesson.”  Enji snapped.  “We have a deal with the Thirds.  They stay out of our way and we stay out of theirs. It might be a tentative peace but it’s peace just the same.”

38.2

Reyanna’s eyes snap open, fully cloaked in the chaotic nebulous black of her power.

For a moment Shouta saw burning quasars and spiraling galaxy’s in his Love’s eyes.  And then they were gone.

“Anna!” Shouta said her name in a reverent hush.

His arms tightened around her, crushing her to his chest.

Hizashi blinked in amazement.

So this was the true power of a Bond.  To bring ones love back to life if the person left living was torn up enough by the others death that they were willing to break said Bond.  He had never hear or read of such a thing, and the beauty of it swelled the Angel’s heart with pride and joy for his friend.

Shouta had brought her back.  Reyanna had been dead.  Dead before the Daimon have even arrived.  But despite all that, Shouta's love and their Bond had brought her back.

“I thought I lost you!”  Shouta breathed, unwillingly to admit even to himself that he had.  His eyes squeezed shut, face buried into her hair and neck.  “You’re not ever leaving my side again.  You hear me.”

He exhaled and breathed deeply, taking in her scent while trying to steady his heart. Her body was no longer chilled against his, but warm.  Yet the fear and adrenaline still rushed through him, making his hands tremble.

“You scared me.”  He admitted, softly. “I don’t know what--”

“You betrayed me.”

Shouta's muscles tensed, a chill running down his spine.  “What?”

“You... betrayed me.”  Reyanna repeated, as if still coming to grips with what he had done.

Her eyebrows furrowed, her arms tightening and shaking around him as the memories crashed over her in a drowning onslaught.

She remembered everything.  Absolutely everything.  She remembered what he had done.  And why she had wiped her memory and gone to slumber.  She remembered the deaths he… No.  The death they had caused.

It washed over and through her in a rapid tide of boiling acid that took her breath away and made her wish she were dead.

Though he didn’t let her go, Shouta pulled back far enough to see her face.

His wide, worried eyes stared into hers.  “Anna. I...”

He was at a loss of what to say.  A part of him still hoped beyond hope that she hadn’t remembered and was talking about something else.  Some misunderstanding he could easily explain.

Shouta stopped and slowly shook his head.

“You betrayed me!”  She screamed, pushing him away.

She was on her feet in an instant.  Her feet staggered, legs wobbly from the sudden change and having flinted to a stand.

“Anna!” Shouta knelt and got to his feet, his hand reaching out to steady her.

Reyanna slapped his hand away, the sound loud in the empty field.

“Don’t touch me.  Don’t you dare fucking touch me.”  She seethed.

Hizashi cringed, his head ducking with a jerk.

Shouta's hand extended to her then stopped at the curling of her lip.  It hovered between them, palm up and open, a silent beckoning plea for her to take it.

“Anna.”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?  That I wouldn’t remember?” She demanded.

Hizashi bit his lip.

“It’s like you betrayed me all over again!”  She exclaimed.

“No.” Shouta said firmly.  “I never betrayed you.  And I didn’t tell you because you never would have trusted me.”

“Which I can’t.”  She declared.

“Yes. You can.  You know you can.  Anna, everything I do is for you.  Because I want you to be safe and well.  Because I need you to be safe and well.  If you remember everything, than you know that.”

She hugged herself and stepped back from him, the urge to take his hand too great.  Why did she have to love him so much?  Why couldn’t he have just told her the truth?  It was too much.  It all just hurt too much.

Shouta stepped after her, he hand still extended.  “Anna.”

His voice was hoarse with emotion. He had lost her for a time to her slumber and memory wipe, and had worked at slowly getting her back.  Then he had lost her to death and miraculously gotten her back, only to now lose her again because she had remembered what he had done.  Fate was nothing if not cruel.

Well fuck fate, he thought.  He wasn’t losing her again.  He wouldn’t let her leave.  He would convince her to forgive him and stay.  He had to.  He didn’t think he’d be able to bare the pain of it if she left him again.

“I didn’t betray you.  I would never betray you.”  He swore.

You used her love and desire for you against her, his mind accused.  You betrayed her and you know it. Shut up!  He thought.  He didn’t need his inner guilt badgering him and siding with her.

“Anna. Let me explain.  Please, my Love.” His left hand lifted to lightly clasp her upper arm.

His eyes landed on his thumb, bare for the first time in centuries.  A tremble of fear ran down his spine.  Their Bond was broken.  If he didn’t convince her to forgive him and stay.  If she left…

No. He thought with a metal shake.  He would get through to her.  After all, he had kept his promise to help her help the Llaes.  She couldn’t deny that.

Even if she did leave, there was still the Tie.  He would find her.  Even without the Tie, he would always find her.  He would make her understand and forgive him.  He had to.  He loved her too much to be without her.  They belonged together.

Reyanna grabbed his wrist.  She stared at him, her heart breaking like it had all those years ago.

Shouta felt a moment of hope when her thumb rubbed against him, but then she shoved his hand away.

“You had all this time to explain yourself. To tell me what you did. But you chose to keep me oblivious, like some idiot. Well you don’t have to explain anymore, Shouta. I remember what you did.  I remember...”  Bile rose in her throat as the image of two dead bodies swam in her mind. “I remember everything.”

The gruesome image of the way she had found Tamaki and the Llaes’ when she returned to the safe house refused to leave her.

“I did what I had to to keep you safe and well.” Shouta told.

“We could’ve found another way, Shou.”

“There was no other way.”

The image of the Llaes and Tamaki’s lifeless forms flashed in her mind. “You killed them! You made me kill them.”

“No. We didn’t.  It wasn’t like that.”

“I know exactly what it was like, Shouta.  You made a deal with the Devil.”

“For you!”  Shouta stressed feeling desperate.  He was losing her again. He couldn't lose her again.  “Lucifer was hurting you, Anna, I had to--”

“You had Hizashi use the guise of needing to meet so you could get me out in the open and take me.”

Shouta shook his head in regret.  “You never should have run, my Love. You never should have even known about the deal.  Lucifer--”

“Lucifer’s the damned Devil.”  Reyanna spoke over him.  “I expect to be used and betrayed by him.  But you…  You hurt me more than Lucifer ever did or could.  You used my love for you against me.  You took something special between us and darkened it.  Twisting and ruining it for that sick deal you made.”

“Anna, no!  I ruined nothing.  Please, Kitten.”  Shouta felt frantic hearing her say he ruined their love.  “The deal was for you.  For your own good.  He had a part of your life force.  There would've—there is another Llaes.”

“She was a child.  An innocent.”

“And you are my Love.”  He argued.  “You mean everything to me.”

Her lip trembled, tears welling in her eyes.  “I trusted you.”

“You should.”

She felt physically wounded.  “I trusted you with Todoroki.”

“You can.  Anna--”

“No!” She sliced a hand through the air.  “I trusted you!  Twice!  Twice I trusted you.  Twice I fell in love with you.  And what did you do? You betrayed me, again!”

“No! Anna.  I didn’t.  I didn’t betray you.  I kept my word.  I hid Todoroki.  I did what I could to protect--”

“I don’t want to hear your lies.”

“I never lied to--”

“I don’t want to hear your voice!”  Her hand raised to her mouth, stifling a sob.  “I can’t even stand to look at you, you sick, twisted, selfish fuck!”

It was happening all over again, and Shouta couldn't bare it.  His eyes were slowly growing red.  Not with his power, but with unshed tears.

“Anna, please.  Please, Kitten.  Don’t do this.  Not again.”

“Don’t do what again?”  She asked, eyes wild with angry hurt.  “Make you fall in love and trust me?  Wait!  That’s what you did.  You made me fall in love with you again, Shouta.  Made me think that everything between us was perfect.  That we had been happy together...”

“We were.”

“...That we could be happy together...”

“We could.  Anna!”

“...That you had never tricked me and used me to see the Llaes dead.”

“I did it for you!”

“You told Lucifer where to find her!”  She screamed at him.  “You knew he would kill her and you used me and broke me.  You served her and Tamaki--”

Her pupils became pinpoints.  Memories of the human-nephilim hybrid that she had taken into her care flipped through her mind, ever other image that of him dead.  Her breathing quickened.

“Tamaki.” She keened.

Hizashi flinched as if the name were a physical blow.

“I didn’t know he would be there.”  Shouta said.

“I told you!”

“By then it was too late.”

“He was my witness at our bonding, Shouta!”

“For fuck sake, Anna!  I love you!”  Shouta snapped.  “Everyone else could fucking die a horrible death and my world would still be perfect so long as you’re in it.  So long as you’re with me.”

She backed away from him, shaking her head.

Shouta watched her tears break their banks and roll down her cheeks.  His heart wrenched.  He had once again wounded his Love.  He had hurt the most important person to him in all of existence and made her cry.

His next words were spoken with a low gentleness, as if he were afraid to shatter or scare her away.   “I did it for you.  I love you, Anna.”

“How is that suppose to make me feel better, Shouta?”

It already felt like her fault and his words only cemented that feeling. She was Lucifer's daughter.  No matter her motive or deeds, all she would ever bring was pain and death.

She pressed her lips together, trying to blink away the tears that obscured her vision.  As much as she hated herself for her show of weakness, maybe it was better this way.  It was easier to hate him when she couldn’t see the frowning pout on his handsome face, or the love and ache in his dark eyes.

Shouta’s heart raced, his lungs taking in unsteady breaths of air.  She was closing herself off from him again; trying to lock away and bury her love.  He could see it, feel it.

“Anna, don’t do this.  Not again.  Please, my Love.  I beg you.”

“And why would I acquiesce to your plea when you ignored mine?”  She asked, voice cold and brittle.

A lump rose is Shouta’s throat, his Adam's apple bobbing with the painfully swallow.

Her anger had been so terrible for him the first time that he had thought nothing could ever match the heart wrenching pain.  But he had been wrong.  This second time was so much worse.

“I made good on my promise.  I helped you help this Llaes.  I did more than I promised.  I hid and kept him safe.  I saw that he had some semblance of a normal life before he came into his power.”

Her silence was more deafening than any shout.

Shouta's ears rang, his heart pounded so hard he felt it pulse in his temples. He teeth clattered lightly before pressing together.  He couldn’t go through this.  Not again.  He had to convince her.  He had to make her stay.

He stepped toward her.  “Please, Kitten.  Please.”

She pulled away from his reaching hand.  “Don’t touch me.”

“Anna. I can’t live without you.”

“Then I guess you’ll die.”  She uttered too softly for him to hear.

“I love you.”

Her eyes lifted, glaring daggers at him.  “Fuck your love, Aizawa.”

“Ann--” Shouta reached for her but she was gone, already flinted away.

[miserylovescompanyfanfic]

MLC Ch: 3

The Cream of Friendship

Cream usually took it upon herself to drive Emilia and her to work in the evenings, but the first job that Emilia had wasn’t Cream’s. No, Emilia had gotten the job at the cute cafe a couple blocks from her current apartment when she first moved to town and lived on campus with Cream; while Cream found a job at another venue that paid a little better but had late nights, and had convinced Emilia to join her.

This little slice of calm before the storm always prepared Emilia for the nights to come, especially since the later afternoons were easy and closing was a cinch. Emilia worked herself up to be the closing manager while Wave, the morning manager, had been a part of the company for many years and hadn’t advanced any farther than that.

She was only slightly bitter, though Emilia had tried being nice to her every chance they got. Don’t get her wrong, Wave the purple swallow wasn’t mean, she was just… intimidating. She was a tall woman with ice blue eyes that was striking against her dark purple feathers. Though, what seemed to be the most intimidating for Emilia was the flame tattoos that traveled up her arms and disappeared into the sleeves of her shirt.

She rubbed her own arms gently every time she saw the tattoos. They were really cool, don’t get her wrong, but apparently Wave got them while she was in prison for moving some drugs during the Egg Wars , which is what the last long term conflict with Eggman had been dubbed for history. Wave served a couple years before the war ended, but Emilia didn’t want to disclose that she had been a part of the group who had founded the Babylon Rogues operation and arrested them.

Granted, she was a part of the Freedom fighter then, a lot smaller, with brighter pink fur, and quills that stuck up in all directions-- but, it would be awkward, ya know?

Anyways, they didn’t get along super well, and Wave was a decent person trying to find a new way in life and was fortunate enough to get the job she has. Point is: she’s intimidating and Emilia still doesn’t know how to talk to her, even after nearly 3 ½ years at the job.

Cream had joked before that maybe Emilia was bisexual because of how nervous and awkward she got around Wave, and to curb more suspicion Emilia agreed that maybe she was. And hell, maybe she was, she hadn’t experimented yet and have you seen girl’s they’re so pretty.

Emilia shook her head, frowning at her strange train of thought and picked up a box of packaged coffee beans ready to be ground. It had been resealed after she finished stocking the shelves in the back along with the rows in the front of the store, still though the box was rather full.

Emilia picked it up with ease, and Sonia the Hedgehog whistled from behind her.

 “It still amazes me how you’re so strong.” Sonia mentioned casually, Emilia hid her blush like she usually had to when Sonia was around. Yeah, Sonia the hedgehog-- Sonic’s older sister, and the only one in Empire City (aside from Manic but Emilia never saw him so he doesn’t count) who knew her identity. It was purely happenstance that they worked together, in fact it was Sonia who interviewed Emilia when she first arrived.

Sonia had been more than willing to keep the secret, even helped Emilia get the job.

“Well, ya know.” Emilia shrugged, Sonia knew but the others who worked regularly with Emilia knew of her second job.

“I bet, you’re the backbone of that place, Emi.” Jian, the white tiger said moving past the two pink hedgehogs. Jian was the tallest member of their establishment, but she was rather quiet and mostly lingered some days as she was the store manager.

Jian was very excited when she found out Emilia was a stripper, much to Emilia's own embarrassment.

“Jian, the other dancers are very good, too.” Emilia chastised, stamping down the blush rising in her cheeks.

Jian laughed easily then, taking the box out of Emilia’s hands. “C’mon, Emi, you’re the only one I’ve seen do flips in the air and land like a fairy in those platforms.”

“And stilettos.” She smiled shyly, but seeing the idea behind Jian’s praises.

“Exactly! Emilia, I can’t even begin to describe to you how difficult shit like that is.”

Sonia snickered at Emilia’s shocked face, before the younger pink hedgehog gave an irritated eye to Sonia.

“Oh, right.” Jian’s jade green eyes moved down to Wave, who was in the front wiping down the counter. “Wave, you were supposed to be out of here at 5.”

Wave stalled, giving a slight shrug. “Well, you guys were busy and there was plenty for me to do up here-”

“Get your ass out of here.”

Sonia snickered again and Jian’s eyes moved to hers. Arms still tense from holding the heavy box. “You too, Hedgehog.” Sonia opened her mouth but closed it immediately, smiling at Emilia.

“Good luck tonight, Rose.” she winked. Emilia’s face blushed scarlet at the use of her name, surname and stage name.

Yeah, she wasn’t very creative…

Cream was in front of the cafe at 7:30 sharp, her little red car playing music a little too loud as she sat texting on her phone.

Jian gave Amy a well meaning smile as the two locked up the cafe and parted ways.

“Heads up, Fiona has requested that we have a theme for tonight. Some of the other girls are thinking wild wild west. ” Cream warned Emilia as she slipped into the car, Emilia placed her bag in the back of Cream’s car, having had a chance to stop by her apartment earlier to grab her clothes and drop off homework.

“Gross.” Emilia commented. “Why not outer space?”

“Oooo, that’s good. Dress all sexy with glittery outfits--” Emilia cut Cream off.

“I was thinking more like aliens.” Cream gave the other girl a deadpanned look.

“Of course you were.” Cream pulled out of the parking spot and sped through downtown. “Why not dress like one of the galaxies while you’re at it.”

“You could dress up like the sun.” Emilia commented, Cream scoffed.

“The only light I am is in your life , Rose.”

Emilia’s shoulders tensed at the name. She should’ve came up with a better stage name, honestly.

“I’m thinking of changing my stage name.” Emilia watched the city lights go by as the sky was already dark.

“Whyyyyy would you do that? Rose is so cute!”

Emilia placed her chin in her hand; “yeah, I guess it is.”

---------------------------

“This is not a cohesive theme girls.” Fiona Fox, the wife of the owner and one of the dancers of the club pinched the bridge of her nose as the girls in the changing room had ideas all over the place (thanks to Emilia but that’s not important).

Fiona and Carrotia had committed to the wild wild west ; Carrotia the Rabbit (not related to Cream) was Fiona’s shadow, always following her around, always doing the dirty work or her bidding, basically she was Fiona #2. Fiona wasn’t dancing tonight, but she was dressed like one of the show girls with her corset tightened where it looked painful to breathe, adorned with a little feather in her hair.

Carrotia on the other hand went for the “sexy cowboy” look with assless chaps and a loose fitting cowboy hat.

Blair, a purple cat with a red jewel in the center of her forehead, had an Arabian dancer theme for the evening with a red bra that had gold accents and a similar thong.

Mira, the yellow mongoose that had a red haired wig as a part of her costume, had a similar outfit that Blair had but with blue and silver accents instead of the ruby reds of Blair’s.

Cream went with a red riding hood look; complete with the short dress that wasn’t even considered a dress, and a tear away front of white frills. The red cape was tied daintily around her throat.

Emilia was, as she had suggested before: an alien, though Cream was currently helping put the washable fur dye into her fur as Emilia focused on her makeup. Fiona and Carrotia shot a glare at the pair, seeing as Emilia was usually the one causing mischief among the dancers with Cream to help.

Blair and Mira were usually paired together, which made sense as they were hired at the same time. Emilia and Cream got along with them really well (probably because Cream had great hiding places but that’s besides the point).

“Are you two even done yet?” Carrotia snapped at the two of them. “If you’re not gonna coordinate with us the least you could do is be ready on time.”

Cream looked at the analog clock on the wall above the mirrors and makeup counters. She then gave Carrotia a frown and pointed at the clock.

“We’ve still got 15 minutes chill the heck out.” Cream rolled her eyes and went back to putting the red temporary fur dye in Emilia’s fur. Emilia on the other hand was busy putting silver eye shadow on her eyelids and green lipstick on, when Cream was done with the quills Emilia donned a cute little headband with red antenna on them.

Carrotia, during that time though, was staring at the analog clock. Hard. Trying to read it.

“Fine, fine!” Cream groaned out, throwing down the now empty bottle of dye. Thankfully, Emilia was mostly covered-- Cream didn’t have to worry about certain parts of Emilia. Emilia, instead of being a pink hedgehog, was now a red furred alien hedgehog with a cute silver rip away dress.

Cream shoved her heels on, glittery red things that were 7 inches tall-- taller than Carrotia’s at least, which Cream was more than happy to look down on the other rabbit with most days.

“You curse all the time why do you say ‘heck’ ?” Emilia asked Cream while also putting her own silver boots on, the heel wasn’t as intimidating as Cream's, but they were tall boots that ended above her knee.

Cream smiled at her friend. Giving a small laugh as she said: “Be-because,” she took a breath to steady herself. “Because I don’t fucking like the word Hell. ”

Cream started laughing, and even Mira giggled a bit. Carrotia rolled her eyes, checking her phone for the time as Fiona had gone out to the audience already to introduce the dancers for the evening.

Cream and Emilia stood up nearly at the same time, taking each others hands as Blair and Mira took theirs as well.

“Show time?” Cream asked them.

“Show time!” the purple cat and yellow mongoose cheered.

Emilia nodded, eyes focused on the door way out onto the stage, her heart thrummed like it did every time before she started dancing.

“Show time.”

[lovesickjily]

present: me

Summary: When Lily Evans is assigned to be a stranger's Secret Santa, she has no idea that by the end of the night, she was the gift that James Potter had wanted the entire time.

give me some love on ao3 or ffn

okay hi merry christmas!!! sorry this fic may sound a bit rushed, but i really wanted to finish this by christmas and i did it? i hope you all enjoy xxx

There were, as Lily speculated, many feelings that people felt when it came to the topic of Christmastime, a time in which everyone showed their love towards friends and family through the gifting and receiving of presents that consequently caused them to end up with so little money that would bring Santa to tears.

Feelings of mirth and joy were expected on the holiday that foresaw snow, but frustration? She didn’t expect any of that days before Christmas.

It wasn’t that Lily hated watching her bank account come to a horrible decline during this season, because the one thing that she absolutely loved more than receiving gifts was buying them. She revelled in watching the eyes of such gift recipients, especially when they lit up like a Christmas tree, and it made her money deficit well worth it.

With Mary, who was known for her embodiment of the concept ‘the more the merrier,’ it was easy to find a gift for her, whether it was one based on sentimentality or one where the price tag had been taken off of it, Mary accepted anything and everything, so long as it wasn’t unattractive in design and form. With Petunia, who was one for the traditional gifts, it wasn’t difficult to find an expensive vase from online that appealed to those who prided themselves in outdoing every single one of their neighbours. She bought an expensive watch for Petunia’s husband, because it seemed like a good gift simply because of the price. Whether he decided to sell it or keep it was honestly up to him, though she hoped very well that it wouldn’t end up rotting in one of his sock drawers.

Now, shopping for a stranger was something entirely on its own.

She’d no idea what Remus had been thinking to invite her to a party where she knew only one person and was even more confused when everyone was assigned a person at random to bring a gift to. From the conversations in the group chat that she had been added to, she could tell that everyone else knew one another well enough, if one could conclude from the jabs that ‘Prongs’ and ‘Padfoot’ continuously sent towards one another.

Eventually, that chat was put on mute, and she’d told Remus— as well as Sirius Black, who was apparently the host of the party— to inform her of any updates about the party. Asking the latter, it seemed, had turned out to be a poor decision on her part, because it seemed as if his sole intent on living was to pester her to the point that she often found her finger hovering over the ‘block contact’ button, only to stop since he unfortunately was the host. There was also the fact that clicking such a simple button was probably exactly what he wanted, and she was definitely not going to let this stranger win.

The last thing that she wanted was to show up in front of his house and be greeted with an infuriatingly cocky on his face.

On the other hand, the first thing that she wanted now at this very moment was to know what exactly to get whoever this ‘James Potter’ person wanted for a gift, but asking Constellation Boy only resulted in responses such as “He wants you for Christmas” with an absurd amount of winking faces.

If she was to browse the Internet in search of gifts to give to strangers, what if there was the chance that he was also her Secret Santa and was on that very same website?

No, she was going to put her utmost creativity into this gift, whatever it may be.

The only question was how she was going to do that.

She couldn’t exactly throw some sentimental value into it, not when there was no sentimental value to be thrown in the first place, but she didn’t want to at all give him something cheaply overdone, like an expensive bottle of perfume or wine. There were rules about gifts, and there was unanimous agreement that one should never get a person such items for Christmas— that is, unless their name was Vernon Dursley.

It was in these moments that she’d taken advantage of the annoying group chat— currently named “Jingle My Balls,” and she could bet all the toys in the world on who had decided to name it that— to scour for any valuable information that could give her an idea of what James Potter had an interest in.

Deer, it seemed.

Lots and lots and lots of deer.

She couldn’t understand his obvious fixation for deer and its venison counterparts, but she sincerely hoped that Remus wasn’t acquainted with someone who prided himself in the slaughtering of deer just for the fun of it. It could help to explain his ridiculous nickname, and she’d almost roped herself into believing that Remus Lupin was the only sane one in their friend group, only to learn that he had been named for a reason that could only be related to the act of mooning.

If she were to get James some sort of food for Christmas, it surely was not going to be of the venison sort.

Perhaps she’d bake cookies for him and call it a day, but they didn’t last forever, not unless he decided to preserve it for reasons unbeknownst to her, and she wanted to create a lasting first impression on him.

James Potter, what in the world could you want?

Could he be interested in pottery, if one could go by his last name?

Obviously, she wasn’t going to put minimal effort into his gift, and he obviously was far from a Petunia, so a ceramic vase— no matter how expensive it was— was just not going to make do. There was nothing wrong with homemade items, and she’d actually greatly prefer homemade objects over the store-bought pieces.

Perhaps…?

Hopefully, he’d love what she had planned for him.

The final obstacle remaining was that she’d never in her life taken a pottery class.

+++

There was a difference between going all out and doing exactly what it was that this household had seemed to do when it came for Christmas decorations.

Lily liked to think that she fell in the former category, having decorated nearly every inch of her flat with pretty fairy lights and a giant Christmas tree in the corner of every room, and even the bathroom contained a small Christmas tree resting atop the counter. Tinsel lined the tops of the mock fireplace in their living room, and in every part of the flat, there was some Christmas decoration of some sort.

But this house— mansion?

It was on a completely different spectrum of its own.

The front lawn seemed as if it had taken everything that could be seen in the Christmas outdoor section featured at every store, and in places where snow hadn’t fallen, fake snow was used to create the illusion that the place was a magical castle in a kingdom where winter was eternal. There were, of course, a line of deer made entirely out of lights lining up the pathway, and at the very end stood a dog made of lights and a pair of antlers atop the animal.

If she had any doubts about whether or not she’d come to the right place, then these doubts were put at ease.

“This is the place,” she said to Mary, though it came out more as a question rather than anything else.

“The one and only.”

“Are you sure we aren’t— I don’t know— planning a heist? Following the plot of the Bling Ring?”

“Maybe next time,” Mary said nonchalantly, “But I don’t see why you should when you’re being offered free food here. Remember, stay safe, and please bring me a plate of whatever food they have there.”

With one last look, Mary gave her a reassuring beam as she bent down to begin her search party, as her phone had fallen off of the dashboard and slid off to who knows where. It ultimately meant that she was going to dawdle in the car for an unreasonable amount of time because she didn’t want to step out into the cold so quickly, as it was just characteristic of Mary to do stay in her comfort zone for as long as she deemed possible. It was for that reason that Lily decided to knock at the door before the frosty air could hold her captive as well.

The door thankfully opened quickly, and amidst the sweet smell of cookies and all the positivity that embodied Christmas, she caught sight of, well, reindeer. It wasn’t off-putting that it was reindeer. It was off-putting that it was reindeer. Atop each other.

She wasn’t being subjected to real-live reindeer, of course, as they were graphics that appeared on the sweater of some bloke bold enough to wear it to the party. If the sweater hadn’t had the reindeer engaged in such an illicit act, it probably could have been a lovely sweater.

They could have matched, actually, because she was wearing a sweater similar to his, the only main difference being the fact that her deer were nowhere near one another, and hers was mainly black while his was mainly blue.

She felt her eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the sight, and she blinked twice. “You must be James.”

She’d finally managed to tear her eyes away from the deer to look up at him, and she’d nearly fallen onto her knees at the fact that he was so attractive to the point that he absolutely had to know how attractive he was. It didn’t help that there was a pair of antlers atop his head, and they only served to draw attention to his messy hair, hair wild enough to make her thoughts wander off into territory that they shouldn’t have stumbled upon in the first place.

And then her gaze flickered right back to his sweater, where the reindeer seemed to be mocking her.

It was only then that he’d been able to somewhat redeem himself when he opened his mouth, and how how how could a voice be equally as attractive as his physique?

“Yeah? What gave it away?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve got reindeer fucking on your sweater.”

He let out an embarrassed laugh, and she couldn’t help but notice the way his cheeks pinked at her observation. He let out a soft sigh. “I can’t believe the prettiest person I’ve ever seen in my life knows me as the bloke who wears sweaters with graphics of reindeer procreation. I swear I’m being forced to wear this right now.”

Her shoulders sagged in relief. “I was beginning to feel concern for you, a stranger. I still do feel concern, actually. I assume it was Sirius who put you up for that?”

He nodded grimly. “We made a bet. Signed a contract to wear it if I lose and everything.”

“I’m so sorry that he’s disgraced deer like that. No one should ever involuntarily wear clothing that display any form of animal procreation.”

Her words seemed to have some sort of a strong effect on him, and he began smiling so wide that she could make out a dimple growing on the left side of his face. He opened his mouth to respond, when a piercing voice rang through the air, as if the evil form of Father Christmas had awaken to fill all of their stockings with coal.

“Close the fucking door, you fucking—” There was, of course, only one person whose voice that could have belonged to, and her eyes met grey, comprehension growing in his eyes as he realised who she was. “Fuck. Close the door. I’ll be right back.”

“Sirius,” she said simply.

“Unfortunately,” he replied, and he looked out towards the car, “Is your friend coming in?”

Lily regarded his question with little interest and shook her head. “She’s just dropping me off.”

He nodded in acknowledgement. “You’re Lily, right?”

“Unless you were expecting the actual flower, that would be me.”

“I’d say you came to please, then. You’re just as pretty as one.”

She didn’t know what to say in response, because it wasn’t as if she was unconfident in her looks, but it was the mere fact that he’d managed to flirt with her twice in the span of a few minutes. “You can definitely do much bet—”

She was cut off by the sound of heavy footsteps once again, and Sirius returned with something green in his hand. She already knew what it was without even having to get a close look of it, if the deep sighs coming from James were of any indication.

“Padfoot, I swear if you bloody hang that over our heads—”

“That’s quite presumptuous of you to think that I’m trying to incite non-consensual kissing between strangers.”

“Then explain why you’ve got mistletoe in your hand.”

Sirius hung it over his own head. “I’m doing everyone a favour by giving all of you permission to kiss me, the one and only Sirius Black. This is a one-time offer, so I’d say you should take advantage of this opportunity.”

Lily concealed any feeling of disgust that he’d stirred up from his horrible offer, because she came to this party with absolutely no intention of kissing anybody, let alone Sirius, who she honestly thought couldn’t possibly be a horrible person and that his way of texting merely gave off strange vibes. Perhaps he wasn’t a terrible person in the sense that he was decent enough for Remus to befriend, but, as she’d already known long before, looks gave no clue of how a person was on the inside.

“Right, so where do I place this down?” she asked instead, holding up her present that she’d wrapped carefully.

“Don’t know about the box, but you could place yourself down on James’s—”

“Beneath the Christmas tree should be fine,” James had cut in, and he placed tentative fingers on her shoulders, to which she felt warmth spreading throughout her body, “Here, I’ll show you where it is.”

“It’s right there—” she began, but upon realising that he was helping to whisk her away from Sirius, who looked as if the being who he’d successfully been able to bag was Death itself— what with his pale skin and body covered head-to-toe in all black, save the small bit of his red shirt peeking out from beneath his leather jacket— she stopped herself. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.”

It was a problem, actually, because she thought she’d resolved every single one of her worries when she’d finally finished making his gift for him, but she’d been far too busy dwelling on making it so that he would enjoy his present that she hadn’t even stopped for a moment to consider that he might actually fall under the category of men that seemed to make her heart do backflips. And when Sirius was unsubtly running around with mistletoe in his hands, it was obvious that both her and James were to be subjected to uncomfortability, similar to the way people wanted celebrities to date one another on the basis that they were both attractive people.

She didn’t speak her thoughts, instead choosing to plaster a smile on her face, which in all honestly wasn’t at all difficult to do, not when the interior of the place was just as festive as it was outside. The tree stood taller than any tree that she could have ever put up at her flat, and it must have taken a painstaken amount of time to decorate all of it. At closer inspection, she noticed the tree had a good number of ornaments containing images of who she assumed were either James or Sirius at different stages of life making funny faces at the camera.

“Don’t judge,” he said from behind her.

“Oh, I can assure you that I’ve expected no form of normality in this household since you’ve opened the door.”

He grinned at her. “Yeah? Have my expectations been up to par, then?”

“Somewhere up there,” she allowed, “Though, I don’t think there’s too much pride you can have in how stranger perceives you, especially when it’s on the low end of the metre.”

“I take immense pride in that, for your information. I’m taking it as a good sign, since you’ve yet to pelt an ornament at me.”

“I’d say you’re going to only have good signs, then. I, contrary to popular belief, do not pelt ornaments at people.”

“I’d pelt an ornament at any idiot who would believe you more than willing to do such a thing.”

She couldn’t help the laughter bubbling from her lips at his words, and it seemed that he took great pride in getting a laugh from her, because her actions had spurred him on to smile just as widely. Somehow, he’d managed to find a way to be such a dork while still simultaneously coming off as charming.

The ring at the doorbell snapped them out of it, and he flashed her an apologetic smile. “Duty calls— rings? Dunno which word is more fitting, but I’ll have to go greet the other guests. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“I’ll remember to not pelt any ornaments during the wait,” she smiled, and it only served to make his dimple greet her once again as he grinned.

“I knew you’d understand.”

With that, he left her to her own devices. Someone— most likely Sirius— had begun blaring Mariah Carey, the spirit of all things concerning Christmas, and if that didn’t add to the strangeness of it all, she didn’t know what did.

She placed the gift down carefully beside a red gift bag decorated with white snowflakes, and it was quite possibly the most normal sight she’d seen in the house so far— perhaps the only normal sight she’d be seeing for the night.

It was, most definitely, going to be a long night.

+++

For a place that could have possibly housed an entire army, there weren’t as many people as Lily had thought would show up.

There were so much more than she could have expected.

She’d thought that they’d only invited their inner circle of friends if she were to judge from the small number of people in the group chat, and so it would be a complete understatement if Lily said that she thought that she’d feel completely out of place in a room where inside-jokes populated the conversations. It seemed that James, who was the owner of this house— or at least one of the owners, seeing as his parents had been away on a business trip and wouldn’t return until the week of Christmas— was just as surprised as she was by the amount of people showing up.

It seemed that somebody had decided to pass on the message that anybody who learned about the details of the party was invited, and at one point, James literally had to lock the door so as to keep people out, but when Sirius had brought up the point that people could easily climb in through the windows and over the fences, his efforts were rendered futile.

It would be an absolute miracle if the neighbours didn’t call the cops on them.

Sirius, once one got over his many bouts of inappropriate behaviour, was actually a somewhat hilarious person who, in a way, seemed to understand her. It wasn’t her fault that her eyes kept wandering over to James, who’d taken to putting a pillow right over his chest so that he could cover up the cursed image of the reindeer, because she still couldn’t fully fathom how a person could be so attractive without doing anything even remotely interesting, and it definitely wasn’t her fault that Sirius was ribbing her for it.

Sure, Sirius was the conventional type of attractive, but when someone like James was there, Sirius was merely a rock and James a diamond.

It didn’t help that everyone— save for James— was painfully aware of her staring. She felt shame welling up inside of her, because she knew all too well that there was so much more in a person than their appearance, and she herself hated when people merely saw her as nothing more than how she looked. Now, though, she was doing the exact same thing she was entirely against, only, it was with James.

She didn’t even know him that well, and as much as she’d like to say that she’d spent the majority of her time conversing with him, she knew that would be an absolute lie, as she had barely talked to him since she’d greeted him at the door. She’d caught glimpses of his personality through the texts that he sent to the group chat, and she’d be an absolute liar if she wasn’t at all intrigued by his mannerism and himself as a whole.

She wanted to learn more about him, learn about his strange fixation with deer, learn everything there was to know about him, like if he was really the type of man her parents would have liked to see her walking down the aisle with: the type of man who made her completely and utterly happy.

Sirius leaned over to her, because of course she would be the one to end up sitting beside him, even if for just a short period of time. Of course he would, yet again, pick up on her stares. “You can’t fuck if you don’t talk to each other first.”

“I’d say in some extreme cases, that would be a complete lie.”

“I’m prone to agree, but since that idiot has only had unsuccessful dates this entire year, I’m obligated to step up. You’d make his entire bloody new year.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t exist for the sole purpose of making one single person happy.”

“Of course not, but we all know how you’ve been fucking James with your eyes, so spare yourself of wasted time and sit on his lap. He wouldn’t protest.”

“I’d protest,” she replied scathingly, “And he’s talking to his line of admirers.”

‘Talking’ was a word being used loosely here, because he seemed to be the only person speaking, having gone on about a story about himself from when he was younger. It seemed that he’d been engaged in a conversation with Remus earlier, but after the first three women came from nowhere, Remus had left him alone with them, and so he’d been forced to conversate with them, unless he fancied being found in a ditch the following day. She could already sense his discomfort from just the way his smile seemed permanently glued on to his face.

“To cut the conversation short,” Sirius began, feeling no sense of empathy for his mate, “You’re holding back.”

“I didn’t come here for you to play matchmaker.”

“But little do you know,” Sirius sighed.

“Pardon?”

“What?” Sirius asked, “You’re forgiven.”

“I’ve absolutely no reason to apologise—”

“There’s always a reason to apologise. For one thing, you’re stealing me away from the other guests. Everyone needs an equal share of Sirius Black—”

She blanched. “Right, well, that’s already enough incentive to walk away from you right about now.”

“That’s the spirit,” he replied, “Repulsion is the first step to a blossoming friendship. Let me be best man, if that isn’t too much to ask.”

“You didn’t even ask.”

“You didn’t offer. I’ve got to take matters into my own hands.”

She scoffed lightly at him. “It was nice meeting you formally, Sirius.”

“Not sure if that’s sarcasm or if you’re being genuine, but either way, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

She had to hand it to him; she wasn’t sure just exactly what he was capable of, but if Sirius Black was ever handed the opportunity to take over the world, he’d turn down that chance just to find his own means of world domination.

She watched as he walked over to the group with James, said a few magical words, and the next thing that she knew, Sirius had taken the women off of James’s hands as if they were moths and he was a flame.

What she hadn’t expected, however, was to see Sirius pushing James directly towards her, and it seemed as if he was a reindeer soaring through the sky, but the metaphor suddenly seemed unsuiting when she found him crashing right into her.

Or, nearly crashing, and she could already feel how awkward it would have been if he’d fallen atop of her, what with their bodies right up against one another and his face merely centimetres away from hers.

In reality, though, Sirius’s pushing was merely a light shove, because his arms just weren’t strong enough to move somebody across the room and acted only as encouragement more than anything else.

“Hello, hi,” James said, and he sent a glare towards Sirius, “We meet again. Your reindeer are still living in solitude, I see.”

She couldn’t help the smile growing on her face. “I see yours are still going at it. Do they ever stop?”

“Right? It’s quite rude to all the guests around here. They need to find their own time and place to make love.”

She nodded. “They are domestic animals. I expected much more from them. Do you want to go somewhere more quiet? Mariah’s gotten a bit annoying after the first five rounds of All I Want For Christmas Is You.”

“Sure, as long as it’s not for the purposes of love-making. I’d like to at least take you out on a date first.”

“Then, to your room?”

“If you insist,” he joked, and she felt her lips curling upwards once again.

+++

“Why the fixation with deer?” was the very first thing that she’d asked once they’d entered his room. She’d noticed that his devotion to Christmas only seemed to continue on behind the privacy of his door, as even the bedsheets had been changed to mimic Christmas. There was, of course, a Christmas tree in the corner of his room, and rather than the small ones that some people put, the tree was of average size. Beneath the tree were the gifts that were brought for the Secret Santa ceremony, which James had relocated in case any of the uninvited guests had decided that it would be a good idea to snatch them.

She made herself comfortable on his bed, patting the space beside her to motion for him to sit down, that she wouldn’t falsely made accusations at him if he got too close to her. He chuckled at her question. “Its antlers look like a crown, and we both know that I am the most majesty being in the world.”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes at him, because though she hadn’t known him for that long, seemed like such a him thing to say. “A real answer, please.”

“You’d laugh.”

“Only if it’s funny.”

She watched his lips rise at the corners. “I took a quiz about what my spirit animal would be, and I got a stag. That’s what made my interest stagnant, I’d say.”

She unceremoniously let out a huff of air. “You made that pun on purpose.”

“Ah, don’t tell me you don’t have an appreciation for puns.”

“I have an appreciation for the funny ones.”

“I’m actually so offended right now. I’m not funny?”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that you’re funny. Your puns are the ones that need some work.”

“It was hilarious.”

“For you perhaps, but since you base your pride on the beliefs of strangers, your opinions don’t seem to matter in this scenario.”

“Oi, my puns are the greatest, thank you very much. I think your opinion is skewed because you’ve been too distracted by the reindeer fornicating on my sweater.”

She laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re laughing, which means that I am completely and utterly hilarious.”

“If you say so,” she sang, “Will you pelt an ornament at me so as to convince me otherwise?”

“Violence is never the answer. I’ve other alternatives, like begging and pleading you to please fuel my ego as it so desires.”

“I’m sure looking in the mirror gives you enough fuel to last the entire week. Month, maybe.”

“Are you calling me handsome?”

“I’m certainly not calling your puns funny.”

“I don’t know whether I should be turned on by the fact that you think I’m attractive or off because you think I’m unfunny.”

There was something in his tone that made her think that he was edging near the former option rather than the latter, and the manner in which his breaths were coming out more slowly was even more of a signal that he wanted something to happen between them just as much as she did.

“Maybe,” she started, and her fingers began moving up his thigh, inching upwards until she was cupping his chin, feeling the light stubble on his face, “We could reach a com—”

She was cut off by the sound of the door bursting open.

It was, of course, Sirius, who looked unsurprised at the sight of them on the bed together. “I’m going to assume that I interrupted you lot, but I’d say that you deserved it, because both of you were too slow to jump the other first thing when you laid eyes on each other.”

“What do you want, Padfoot?” James grumbled, and he removed a hand from her arm, which she hadn’t even noticed had been on her person.

“A lot of things, actually.” She cocked an eyebrow at him. Perhaps the eggnog that they’d served had gotten to his brain, if the alcohol that he’d dunked into the Christmas drink hadn’t done so already. “Anyway, we need to open presents. Oi, you lot. We’re opening presents, and no, that doesn’t include me.”

Sirius clapped ostentatiously to attract everyone’s attention, as if his random outburst hadn’t been heard by perhaps the entire neighbourhood. “We do not need a hearing aid for a present this Christmas,” Remus said as he walked in, and he regarded his mug of eggnog with disdain, as if it was Sirius in the form of a liquid.

It seemed that Sirius had already gathered all of the people who were involved in the ceremony, as a few other people walked in afterwards, and only Peter seemed sympathetic enough to flash them a look of apology for intruding on them.

“Never said anything about a hearing aid,” Sirius replied, “Maybe you need the hearing aid.”

“After your outbursts, I reckon we’ll all need hearing aids. Calm your arse, yeah?” James put in, and Lily felt that had the opportunity arisen, she most definitely would have paid to hear more of his lovely voice.

“He’s excited for presents,” Peter Pettigrew added, “I’m excited.”

“Don’t tell anyone, but I made sure that no one got Pete for Secret Santa,” Sirius drawled, and Lily whacked him lightly with a nearby pillow.

“That’s completely unsuitable for the occasion.”

“It’s fine, Lily,” Peter started, “He says things like that all the time. I’ve built an immunity to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to tolerate it.”

“If this helps,” James began, “I was your Secret Santa. Your present is the one with the gold wrapper, because I use only the finest materials.”

Peter scrambled up to grab the present as described, and this was more or less how it had went on, with everyone having an unspoken agreement on who could throw the most jabs at each other. Sirius was, unsurprisingly, Lily’s Secret Santa, and he’d thought it hilarious to include a gag gift in with the real gift— a pink scarf and an insanely giant framed picture of himself. It went on to show that the size of a present truly didn’t make it a good gift, and she’d have to find some open space in her closet to hang the portrait up on. It would have been quite rude of her to not put up the portrait.

Annoyingly enough, Sirius was completely and deliberately delaying her from giving her gift to James, and when the time finally came for her to give James the concrete embodiment of her hard work and effort, Sirius again was unsubtle in hiding his motives. She took her previous thoughts back. He could definitely not conquer the world, no matter how hard he tried.

“I’ve going to take a sh—”

“If you finish that last thought, I will throw you out the window,” Remus threatened.

“Remus and I will be going— actually, no, let’s all go together.”

“I am not going anywhere near the bathroom with you,” Remus interjected, looking aghast at the prospect.

“You’ve no choice—”

“I always have a choice,” Remus replied, and Lily had been looking on with such amusement that she’d been a bit surprised when he turned towards her, “I am so sorry for his behaviour.”

“I am so sorry that you’ve had to endure him for, what was it, the entirety of your life?”

“That’d be about right,” Peter cut in with a nod.

“I can’t believe you’re all ganging up on me.”

“You can’t honestly expect to intrude upon James and I for open gifts, only to unsubtly leave us alone when it’s time for James to open his present, can you?” she asked Sirius.

“That only makes it even more fun for him,” James said beside her, “And I’d rather they leave now than never.”

“You love us.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get out, and I’ll see about that.”

James, at that point, had taken to escorting them out of the room, and with one swift motion, he closed the door shut and clicked the lock in place. He walked towards the tree, picking up the very last gift that remained before seating himself right back beside her.

“You couldn’t have possibly found a way to clone yourself, have you?”

She found her cheeks growing red, and she shook her head. “Not unless I also found some way to shrink myself.”

He smiled softly at her response. “It’s only that I think that the best present I’ve gotten so far is meeting you.”

“Honestly, if you don’t think that this will be the best present you’ve ever seen in your life, I’m afraid I’ll have to cut off all contact with you. I worked too hard on this gift for it to only be second to myself.”

She watched his smile blossom into something nearly as radiant as a flower at her words, and he shook his head, looking a bit bashful. “Nothing could ever beat you.”

His hands drifted down to the bow that she’d tied on top of the box, slowly pulling it off, and she was glad to see that he was not one of those monsters that destroyed the wrapping paper in order to get to the gift faster. He did the action with some speed, though he was being awfully considerate in not tearing it either, and when he did accidentally make a small rip, he let out a small apology to the paper, as if he was hurting it.

Her heart only moved quicker at that action.

When he opened the box, pulling out the mug that she’d been putting all of her painstaking effort into creating, he let out a nearly inaudible gasp at the sight. He scrutinised every inch of it, and his face didn’t even once diverge from amazement, even when there was so clearly a mistake in the way she’d made it.

“You made this?” he said inconceivably, and she nodded, “How could anyone make something so bloody nice? Fucking— you’re so talented.”

She knew that his words were making her face turn so red that she had to be the living embodiment of the colours of Christmas now, because it was one thing for him to compliment her appearance, but it was something completely difficult when he was praising her work.

She’d made him a ceramic mug, having used so much of the patience that was a gift she could never have gotten from anyone other than her parents and the universe.

She’d done all of it herself, even going the length of digging out and cleaning her own clay in the back of her yard because it would take far too long to ship clay to her home, and on the side of the mug, she’d painted, of course, a reindeer.

He placed the mug down onto his bedside table and took her face tentatively in his. “Can I—”

“Please.”

He smiled widely at her, and with that, he pressed his lips to her, the taste of the eggnog he’d prepared filling her senses. There were so many things that she’d imagined to happen when he’d gotten his gift, which included— but was not limited to— him simply thanking her, or, had he turned out to be a malicious person, would have slammed all of her effort onto the ground, effectively splitting the mug into a million pieces.

She didn’t realise that she’d end up kissing him. She didn’t realise that she’d love kissing him.

There was something so tantalisingly sweet about the way he was holding on to her chin and something so utterly desirable about the manner in which he was kissing her. It wasn’t too slow or too fast, and it wasn’t even helping that her heart had taken to soaring throughout her body as if it was a shooting star, sending wonder towards every single one of its witnesses.

She’d found it too much of a coincidence that he’d end up being the person who she had to get a gift for, found it too much of a coincidence that she’d wind up being added to a group chat in which everyone but her was close with one another, and—

“Oh my goodness,” she said against his lips, and she pulled away, her eyes opening so that green could meet gold.

It was not a coincidence.

“Are you all right?” he asked her, and the way in which his glasses were skewed only added to his confusion.

She nodded. “It’s just— aren’t you peeved?”

“Peeved?” He looked more perplex. “About what?”

“We’ve so obviously been set up, and it took me this long to realise it.”

“We’ve been…” he repeated, and he blinked once, then once again. “What?”

“It’s so obvious now that Sirius set all of this up so that we could meet. Don’t you—” Her eyes widened slightly when his cheeks flared up, signifying that he knew something. He knew something. “James.”

“Right, yeah, I didn’t realise that this was a set up until after you were added to the chat, but I swear— I just thought that you were a cool person because you’re on the phone with Remus a lot. I didn’t think Sirius would take the initiative to do all of that. I— are you mad?”

Was she mad?

No, she didn’t think she was, or, at least she wasn’t mad at him.

“No,” she answered honestly, finding his rambling to be cute, “I’m not mad at all. I got to meet you, didn’t I? I think that’s enough compensation.”

“But we both agree that Sirius isn’t getting away with this.”

Her lips curled upwards. “After a few more rounds of kissing. And the sweater goes off.”

“I thought you were starting to warm up to it.”

“I could honestly never,” she laughed, but he complied anyway, pulling the cursed top off of himself. Her fingers lightly roamed over the exposed skin, and she found him kissing her once again.

There were many feelings that people felt when it came to the topic of Christmastime, but right now, all Lily could feel was joy.

There was also that small bit of wrath felt towards Sirius, but when joy was the dominant feeling, who cared what else she felt?

All she focused on was joy. Joy and joy and joy.