#thank you tumblr for always being here for me to be my most authentic self (annoying about media analysis)

[stil-lindigo]

the vulture.

a comic about cycles.

--

creative notes:

--

all my other comics

store

[alltimefail]

Happy Day 1 of Cast Appreciation Week to George Rexstrew!

I know George is not on Tumblr, but I'm singing his praises everywhere today!

Thank you for everything you've given our fandom, George. Our perfect Edwin Payne, we love you so much! 💜💀🔎

Transcript of my letter below the cut!

Happy Cast Appreciation Week October 20, 2024

Dearest George,

First of all, let me start by saying that I cannot believe Edwin was your first on-screen performance: you are one of the most polished, dedicated, naturally gifted actors I've ever had the privilege of seeing on my TV screen. I was captivated by your performance from the moment you stepped on screen, and I think you could put some "Big-name" actors in the industry to shame. The love you have for Edwin, and the work you put into portraying him, is evident. Also, you have one of the most soothing voices in the whole world, btw - I don’t know if anyone has ever told you that, but your voice is absolutely lovely.

I've rewatched Dead Boy Detectives more times than I can count now, and your portrayal of Edwin's journey of self-discovery, and his journey with accepting not only his sexuality but also being in love with his best friend, is reverent and breathtaking...it moves me every single time. Edwin's story is one I related to on a personal level and I imagine I'm far from the only queer person who can say that (falling in love with your best friend kind of feels like a right of passage). The way you handled such a sensitive, poignant part of Edwin's story cannot be overlooked or understated, and so many queer kids have seen your performance as Edwin and feel braver now as a result. I hope you are immensely proud of all you've given the LGBTQ+ community so far.

Lines like "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell," "Bad guys do not worry about being bad guys... I dare say we all worry about who we are, deep down," and "It's not what you did, it's what you do" live within me forever, and it's your voice I hear when the reminders are needed. I will never be able to put into words, as a Charles-adjacent-spirit, how much your portrayal of Edwin felt healing to me. The voice in my head is not always kind, but now there's another voice there from time to time which is far kinder so thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart.

I hope you know how loved and appreciated you are by this fandom not just today, but every day. I hope our words and our continued fight will remind you that you've had such a significant impact on so many people and that you are adored and appreciated. Your sheer presence has brought immense joy to us; "Gameo" week alone was one of the highlight experiences of being a Dead Boy Detectives fan, and that's due to your kind, generous heart and the amount of work you put into those Cameos. Your authenticity, passion, heart, wit, dedication, and incredible sense of humor are all things I admire about you, and I feel thankful to be one of your many fans.

I wish I had Edwin, and Dead Boy Detectives as a whole when I was a queer kid figuring my shit out, but I'm tremendously glad the world has both of them now. Thank you for everything you've given us, and thank you for being you.

You are our Edwin, always and forever, and we will all be here to support you (and fight for you) in all your current and future endeavors.

All my love, Veronica "V" @ atfsims1

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Are there any people you admire on tumblr? Or a particular aura that attracts you? I’ve seen INFJs being attracted to INTJs A LOT 😭

Heya anon! Thank you so much for your thoughtful questions! <3

It is no surprise I love INTJ people and characters in media (come on, my blog is dedicated to Fyodor haha); I’ve always been drawn to the intellectual + emotional depth and strategic nature that INTJs embody.

The reason INFJs are often attracted to INTJs is rooted in how our personalities complement each other. Both types value a deep intellectual connection and authenticity in relationships. INFJs tend to be introspective and value meaningful interactions, while INTJs prioritize logic and efficiency but are equally invested in genuine, purposeful connections. INFJs appreciate the INTJ’s clarity, confidence, and ability to see the bigger picture (which is especially true for me). Conversely, INTJs are often drawn to the INFJ’s emotional depth, warmth, and empathy. The dynamic allows for a relationship that’s both intellectually stimulating and emotionally fulfilling, where both partners push each other to grow, not just in terms of knowledge, but also in emotional maturity and self-awareness.

Most of my favorite characters in are either INFJs, INTJs or ENFPs. I’m fascinated by them because of the unique emotional complexity they each bring. Each type approaches emotions in different ways, which makes them so intriguing.

INFJs — They long for meaningful connections but also need solitude to recharge. INFJs wrestle with balancing their own need for solitude and introspection with the desire to help others. This creates an emotional tension, a longing to understand their place in the world while also seeking meaningful connections with people.

INTJs — Often seen as detached or logical, but if you look closer, you’ll see that their emotions run just as deep, even if they’re not always openly expressed. They often have high emotional intelligence, though it manifests differently than that of an INFJ. Their emotional complexity lies in their ability to analyze and understand emotions, both their own and others’, while also maintaining a cool, rational approach to life.

ENFPs — They are highly attuned to their own emotions and the emotions of those around them (also striving for deep meaningful relationships). However, this emotional openness can sometimes lead to internal conflict, as ENFPs can become overwhelmed by the intensity of their feelings or feel pulled in many different directions due to their curiosity and open-minded nature. Their emotional complexity lies in their ability to feel so much and so deeply, while also constantly questioning and reflecting on the authenticity of those feelings.

What draws me to these types is how they blend intellect, emotion, and self-awareness, creating layered characters in real life and fiction—this makes them fascinating to understand and explore for me :>

I’ve only been on Tumblr for a short time, so my list of people I admire is still growing, but here are a few that really stand out to me:

@/literatureloverx (INFJ) and @/lukeria314 (I’m not sure of her personality type)—Both are amazing creators in the BSD community with such introspective and thought-provoking ideas. I find their work and perspectives incredibly intelligent and inspiring.

@/makrustic—An incredibly talented pixel art artist! Their artwork is so immersive. I often find myself fantasizing about living in the worlds they create.

Thank you again for asking! I’m excited to continue exploring and connecting with more inspiring people here on Tumblr ^^

Kisses and good vibes <3

[cozycottagetarot]

Paid Readings | Classic | Status: OPEN

Updated: February 21st 2025

PAID READING FEEDBACK | $10 and Under Readings

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message here on Tumblr or you can email me at thecozycottagetarot@gmail.com

Delivery Time: I aim to complete all readings within 3-4 business days (Monday - Friday). Please note that during busy periods, such as around holidays or during college term time, delivery times may be extended. Before starting your reading, I will confirm all details with you via email and provide an estimated delivery date. This ensures that your reading will be as accurate and personalized as possible. Thank you for your understanding!

Refund Policy: Refunds are generally not offered, except in cases where I am unable to complete your reading. If the reading does not resonate with you, I am happy to offer a short clarifier reading at my discretion, particularly for non-future spouse-related readings. I will work with you to ensure that your experience is meaningful and aligns with your needs.

Quick Reminder: My readings are intended for inspiring self-reflection and entertainment purposes only. My readings are not meant to replace professional advice in any shape or form. I do not predict the future as I believe energies shift and in turn, so do outcomes. However, every reading will always try to incorporate something that you can take with you and apply to your life in the current moment based on what is picked up during the reading. My readings are intended for those 18 and up.

🕰️ Look Into Future

🌓 Monthly Magic Forecast 🌓 | $15

Curious about what’s in the cards for the next month? This detailed written summary will explore themes, challenges, successes, and advice to bring with you into the upcoming month.

🌟 Guidance & Clarity

💌 Your Personal Query 💌 | $25

Feel free to submit your own question and I'll work with you to create a (3-component) spread to get the information you need.

🛤 The Next Chapter Of Your Life 🛤 | $20

Get a personalised version of this pick a card reading covering the following topics: Who are you showing up as now? Who will become throughout this next chapter? How will you find success? What challenges may you meet? Lessons to be learned, and advice to take with you.

🩰 Balancing Act 🩰 | $25

If you've been stuck in a rut or struggling to manage all, this reading is the one for you. In this reading you'll receive a detailed written summary exploring the cause, what it's trying to teach you, what you can do to bring yourself back into balance again and how you can possibly prevent it.

💫 Personal Growth & Success

🔥 Spark of Joy | $15

Need to reignite your inner fire? Uncover what sparks your joy and enthusiasm with a reading that identifies your passions, highlights blocks to creativity, and provides practical steps to infuse more excitement into your daily life.

🤩 Your It Factor | $21+

Reading specific add-ons available.

Discover the essence of your unique charm with this tarot spread. Uncover your core strengths, reveal hidden talents, and explore the aspects of your personality that naturally draw others to you, empowering you to shine with confidence and authenticity. Plus, get additional insights on how to use these qualities in your favour for personal and professional success!

✨ Manifest Your Ideal Life ✨| $25

Discover the steps to attract and align with your dreams. This insightful reading offers guidance tailored to your journey in love, career, or overall well-being, empowering you to take meaningful action toward a life of fulfilment and purpose *This reading is most effective when there's an open conversation. Your feedback helps ensure the insights truly resonate and provide the guidance you need..

🌸 Manifest Your Dream Partner 🌸 | $25

Align your energy to attract the love you deserve. We'll explore what you're currently manifesting (based on current energies), the energy you need to be in to manifest your dream partner, what to keep up and what to leave behind in order to manifest your ideal partner and relationship. *This reading is most effective when there's an open conversation. Your feedback helps ensure the insights truly resonate and provide the guidance you need.

🧥 Reinvent Yourself | $28

Ready to embrace a fresh start? This transformative tarot reading reveals what’s holding you back, uncovers the hidden opportunities for growth, and provides guidance to help you welcome positive change with confidence and clarity. *This reading is most effective when there's an open conversation. Your feedback helps ensure the insights truly resonate and provide the guidance you need.

🫂 Current & General Relationships

🔭 Romantic Energy Check-In 🔭 | $12

Get a quick overview of your current love energy, potential blocks, and future possibilities.

💘 Your Next Relationship Snapshot 💘 | $15 (not listed yet, if interested message me)

Gain insight into your next relationship—how it begins, its dynamic, and the lessons you’ll learn.

🗝️ Removing Love Blockages 🗝️ | $25

Feeling stuck in love? Discover and clear the obstacles preventing you from attracting or sustaining love with a detailed 5-card reading that identifies blockages, explores their origins, and provides actionable steps to open your heart to new opportunities.

💍Your Person | Your Future Spouse

😍 What They’ll Love Most About You 😍 | $15

Discover the unique traits, quirks, and qualities that your future spouse will adore.

🎁 Your Future Spouses Love Language 🎁 | $18

Uncover how your future spouse expresses love and affection, their preferred ways of receiving love, and how you can create a strong emotional bond by understanding each other's love languages.

💞 Your First Year Together 💞 | $20

Take a glimpse into the early stages of your relationship with this reading. Explore the joys, navigate challenges, and uncover key milestones that shape your first year together with your person.

💕 Where Two Paths Meet 💕 | $22

When will you and your future spouse finally cross paths?!? This reading will cover at what point in your life you and your future spouse will meet as well as your first impressions of each other.

💘 Lovers Lookout 💘 | $25

Curious about what your future spouse is like as a person? This reading provides a deep dive into their personality, potential physical features, your first impression and what about them appeals to you. (See The Enchanted Looking Glass for a more in-depth reading)

🦋 Your Life Before and After Meeting Them 🦋 | $25

Discover how your future spouse’s presence will transform your life, from who you are now to the lasting impact they’ll have.

🥂 Dynamic Duo 🥂 | $25

Any great couple has got to be able to tag team! Find out the relationship dynamics between you and your future spouse along with you're strengths and weaknesses and how you complement each other.

💐 How Will They Pursue You 💐| $30

Curious about how your person will pursue you and win your heart? Look no further! This reading dives into the details including their intention, hidden desires, the how and timing/pace.

📈 Blueprint To Your Future Spouse 📈 | $30

Reading specific add-ons available.

This reading is designed to illuminate the path from where you are now to the moment you meet your future spouse. This reading is perfect for those seeking clarity on their love journey and actionable guidance to step into alignment with their ideal relationship.

🪞The Enchanted Looking Glass 🪞| $35

Step up to the looking glass and see your future spouse reflected in vivid detail. This reading reveals the essence of your future partner, painting a clear picture of who they are and the role they’ll play in your life. Unlike Lover’s Lookout, which gives a quick snapshot, this is the ultimate in-depth portrait of your future spouse—like peering into a mystical mirror that reveals everything about them. ✨

🏆 The First Milestones 🏆 | $40

Explore significant "firsts" with your future spouse such as your first kiss, first date, realising you love each other, spending the night together (generally, not 18+), challenge, and first time meeting friends and family.

I am open to substituting first but I recommend sending me a message here or on Tumblr or an email at thecozycottagetarot@gmail.com if you wish to do so.

[scary-monsters]

kat, i could truly wax poetic about how awesome i think you are and tbh i just may if i start writing this and don't discover hubris halfway through but in all the time i've been on tumblr and all the people i've met and allllllll the fandoms and all the shit one of the people who will always stick in my memories so fondly is you and it's because you are unapologetically you.

i remember back when i was first getting into tumblr fandom and meeting you was like a warm cardigan in the winter because you made me feel so comfortable. you have this effect on people even if you don't realize it all the time or at all - you're comforting. your acceptance of yourself makes everyone accept themselves in like. it's a superpower and then some to be able to do that for others and i hope you know it. i hope you know how talented and creative and truly special you are. thank you for being here and thank you for allowing me (and everyone here) to know you <3333

omg KENDALL, I —

i saw this right before i left for work today and i had to wait until my break to answer but i’ve been thinking abt it ever since 😭🧡🧡 idk if i’d ever be able to properly express how much this means to me, im so bad at putting words to the sheer amount of depth of my feelings… i remember when we became mutuals, feels like just yesterday but ig it’s been a couple years at this point, holy moly 😵

truthfully i had quietly considered leaving the internet entirely a few times earlier this year but i’m very glad i haven’t :’)) people like you are what make it all worth it, what you’ve said is absolutely mutual; i am comforted by your presence on here and you inspire me every day, in many ways. idk how to be anyone except myself, and though i do struggle with self-love sometimes i feel honored if my self-acceptance is at all inspiring to anybody else at all 🥺 recently i’ve tried to remind myself regularly that being yourself is the only way you’re going to attract people into your life who will love you for you! i think everyone should just be their most authentic selves bc that’s beautiful 🧡🥲 it’s hard sometimes, but so worth it in the end. anyways i will stop rambling, THANK YOU again, i hope today is being good to you and you’re being good to yourself!! 🫵🏻 sending hugs!

[ronearoundblindly]

Bestie, you’re really giving such wise sage vibes lately. Like, everything’s feeling so profound and it pairs well with the new blog theme

(I feel like I’m giving you a little token “here, a nicety. For your hoard” and it reminds me of that scene from princess diaries where they’re like “a chicken. For your table.”) ok anyways hiiii byeeee

I COULDN'T FIND A GIF OF TINY!!! (that's what they called him, right? Huge blond dude? He was great. Had the *heaviest* accent in a land speaking english lol. Excellent movie. Top marks!)

This was the closest I found, but I didn't try Tumblr's gif search because lol why try in that hellhole (moderately affectionate but truly disdainful)??

*unbelievably bizarre rant about how perfect this reference became below the cut, but tldr; thank you for your nicety!

Yes, 'tis always a time of great reflection for me--right around my birthday--and I'm happy it hasn't turned people off to the fun of fanfic. I just really enjoy complex thinking. I enjoy building multi-faceted characters and storylines. I enjoy when things don't go the way you expected (IN FIC). Stuff like that makes our brains work harder to see and understand the real world around us.

I don't like the idea that I'm 'making excuses' for bad behavior, but I'm also concerned by how many logical and self-preserving actions we take offense to when we aren't the person benefitting. There's absolutely douchey folks out in the world, selfish people who dngaf about you or your feelings, but remember even those you love can't have all of you and your energy all of the time. Maybe that feels like selfishness to them in those moments? Doesn't mean it wasn't right for you and possibly best for them as well.

How can you be your authentic self if you don't give yourself any time to be?

I have the luxury of being a very patient person. It's perhaps the single most-helpful trait I possess (which also makes me sit a very long time on nice comments such as, well, most of yours 😘), and I've grown fond of the idea that my patience has led to understanding that imperfect moments, inarticulate speeches, and misinterpretations can be unifying, clarifying, and informative.

Just don't chase the chicken! Watch it roam. Laugh at the absurdity. Remember to conserve your energy for pursuits worth your time. But of course, thank Tiny for his offering. A chicken for your table was a logical gift from him. He did not bring it to shit in your throne room.

Give yourself as much grace as you give others. Reflect on your actions as much as you do everyone else's. Then give yourself space, as much space as you can for as long as possible, until you see all the facets. You won't right away; you won't even see how your own brain works for a while.

Live imperfect moments. Give inarticulate speeches. Misinterpret and be misinterpreted.

You are offering a chicken for the table, and sometimes, they get loose and cause chaos. Sometimes, with your best intentions and all your logic, your offering to the world will shit in the throne room. It's okay. It happens to all of us.

Thank you for being you, Essie!

[phantom-ellie]

The Lost Children of Ikatera for the OFMD Reverse Big Bang!

I am so excited to share this fic with you all! I have so much to say about it which won't fit in my Ao3 post, so I will be writing it all here and reblogging for subsequent chapter posts. But first, the link:

This post covers general information on this fic as well as chapters 1 & 2. I will reblog it with further posts covering the different chapters.

What you need to know is that this is a Victorian AU based on the novels of Jules Verne, H. G. Wells, and other similar authors of that era. The author of this novel is Jonathan “Calcut Jack” Rackham, and is told entirely from his perspective. He is a highly unreliable narrator due to his tendency to focus on his own selfish needs and desires rather than to truly pay attention to what is going on around him. However, I hope that I succeeded in making him a bit nuanced and interesting throughout this work.

I would like to give the biggest thank you and credit to TheQueenHasNoLife (on Twitter), who is the artist for this RBB as well as the one who came up with the, frankly, brilliant prompt idea for this fic. Every single idea and suggestion they had made this work twice as interesting and complex as it had been before. I have always admired them since I first stumbled across their own fanfiction last October, and am beyond honored to have helped to bring their vision to light here. I hope there will be future collaborations in store for us!

I would also like to credit the following users: @Ghost_Deb_ on Twitter and DeathStranded who were my beta readers for this fic and gave incredible feedback and insight on how it read, @Tiny_Book_Worm on Twitter who was kind enough to answer my questions on the transmasc experience while writing for Izzy, as well as Mod Jay (mortenavida) who answered endless stupid questions from me throughout this process and helped to determined Jack’s fate in the final chapter with their deep knowledge of Floridian lore.

Despite strenuous efforts I was unable to obtain a beta or a sensitivity reader for the sections of the fic that deal with Maori language and culture, for which I apologize. If I have gotten anything wrong on this subject, feel free to DM me on Twitter or Tumblr, and I will make the changes necessary. I am open to criticism and safe to DM on this matter.

Last note on the art in this fic: In addition to the absolutely stunning and detailed art by TheQueenHasNoLife, I have peppered this work with several authentic drawings/documents from the 1800s. I have credited my source for each under the image.

On the Narrator/"Calicut Jack":

This fic is told in the form of an adventure novel written in the style of Jules Verne and H. G. Wells. Only this time, its author is Jonathan "Calicut Jack" Rackham. This is the bit that interested me the most about this prompt. If you've read these kinds of novels before from this time period, you've probably noticed that the narrators are all assholes. They are sexist, racist, and disgusted by everyone who isn't 100% exactly like they are (and also enamored/obsessed with/totally gay for men who are 100% exactly like they are). I wanted to write this novel from Jack's perspective in the most loquacious, verbose manner humanly possible to give him the illusion of respectability while showing through his actions that he's actually a total trash bag. He's an incredibly unreliable narrator. There are massive plotlines and character arcs going on throughout this story that he barely touches on or mentions because he doesn't notice them. He is completely self-absorbed and has absolutely no capacity for emotional depth. That being said, that doesn't mean I intend for him to be 100% villainous and evil. He's pathetic and sad, while not quite sympathetic. What you need to know about Jack is he fears change more than anything. He is still the same drunken fratboy he was 15-20 years ago, he hasn't changed at all, and he's terrified that his friends and the people he knows will grow up and move on without him. He doesn't understand that this is his fear because he has no self-awareness. The fear is just there. And he will jump through whatever mental hoops he has to to convince himself that everyone would be happier if they were like him: stagnant and unmoving.

Story Setting/Background:

This fic is set in 1872 in an alternate Victorian universe which is not exactly the same as the one we know of and are familiar with. Homophobia and transphobia are at this time seen as terribly gauche and passé, and people are more or less allowed to love who they want and be who they are without facing societal backlash or institutional discrimination. In addition, while unfortunately colonialism and imperialism still exist, in this universe they are much less of a thing, and public approval for either has been waning for some time at the start of the story. Because I am a loser, I attempted to create a loose historical justification for these changes. It all started during the reign of Louis XIV. This super gay dude (actual footage, 100% real) (don't watch the rest of that musical it is heinously bad) was the brother of the king. His name was Philippe. He would be very open about his relationships with men, and would also dress as a woman whenever the opportunity presented him (so it's possible he wasn't a dude at all). Surprisingly, most people at the time accepted it and were totally on board, because a gay man wasn't seen as a threat to his brother's throne. They encouraged the fuck out of that shit. In this particular alternate universe, Philippe's sexuality and gender expression became en vogue among the French noblesse during Louis XIV's reign. Cavorting with members of your own sex was suddenly seen as desirable and fashionable, regardless of whether there was actually any attraction there. Louis XIV encouraged this trend, for it allowed him to more easily control and steer French nobility (especially when they were bearing fewer children and were caught up in all sorts of dalliances with one another). This was, after all, the main objective of the grandiose lifestyle which he promoted: to keep the nobles poor and distracted so he could rule as he wished. Eventually, the acceptance of same-sex partnerships grew and spread through the courts of many European countries which sought to mimic France's, and this acceptance eventually permeated the general culture shared by everyone. Though acceptance of same-sex relationships (as well as transgender people) was not immediate and took several generations to really take hold in these societies, by the mid to late 1800s the general trend was to be accepting of same-sex relationships. Being homophobic and transphobic is seen as really fucking gauche. Therefore, in this universe there is little to no discrimination of anyone based on their sexuality or gender. It's just plain allowed. This open-mindedness lead to other kinds of acceptance as well. Judeo-Christian religion had a much weaker stranglehold on the populace and the ruling classes of these countries. The weakening of religious dogma made it more palatable for humans to seek out positive cultural exchange with others rather than antagonizing them with forced conversion attempts or flooding indigenous lands with missionaries. While nations did engage in attempts in empire-building (Britain most of all), there was less public will for it due to the populace not really minding if the indigenous people from these areas were "heathens," and it was easier for them to be viewed as people. As for the money to be made from colonization, well, acceptance of gay people may have "trickled down" from the nobility, but the money they were making overseas sure wasn't. This world is in no way intended to be read as utopian, because it just isn't. It still sucks. It just sucks a little less. I wanted to be able to write a world in the 1800s where Edward Teach could become a famous and respected man of science, and where men loving men wasn't a scandal or disgusting or unacceptable. The effects of colonialism have still made their mark in this world which will show throughout the story... it's just that in this universe, people like Ed have more power to actually do something about it.

Chapter 1 Notes:

I wrote this chapter with "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" open in another tab in order to mimic the beginning of both stories and let me tell you, this chapter has NOTHING on that wordy overdescriptive mess. I toned down the descriptions and asides a bit later on in the fic.

Nigel’s ship is called the Disraeli because Benjamin Disraeli was an imperialist asshole and you know they’d be all over that.

Source for Jack’s Cloak Tent and other Stupid Victorian Inventions

Tawhiri a Utu - This means (roughly) “Tawhiri’s Revenge,” although the word ‘Utu’ is more similar to balance/making whole than revenge. Tawhiri is a Maori wind deity.

Edward’s nickname “Man-eater” was given to him by Jack, who was impressed by his skills with his tongue when it comes to, well, eating out men. Like the show version’s nickname of “Blackie,” this nickname is intended to be a rather uncomfortable one due to the racist views Western colonizers have had towards the practices of Indigenous cultures (despite the fact that white Europeans themselves engaged in cannibalism through the early 20th century, believing that certain human body parts could cure diseases, though they would never admit to cannibalism because their ‘medicine’ came in neatly-labeled bottles). Jack, however, lacks the emotional intelligence to determine if Edward is happy with this nickname. Perhaps he will find out.

I spent way too much time researching stupid crap like available ports in 1872 and authentic sailing routes/passenger ships. Like, 2 or 3 whole days just for that, and honestly it was so useless and a waste of time.

I can't allow any more children to be in this fic because I used up every single Victorian-era word for them in this one.

The language Ed speaks with the kid at the end of the chapter is not intended to be Maori, but Rarotongan (because that is the island where they landed). I used the internet's lone Rarotongan dictionary and my decade-old linguistics degree for this and future sections. As far as I can tell there are no Rarotongan betas in existence, sorry about that!

Chapter 2 Notes:

Aquatic Tripod Image Source

I wanted to draw a diagram of the system that holds the Oceanid captive, but I'm not that talented. I tried to think of as many plot holes with it as possible, but my betas thought of a couple I didn't, such as how the weight of hauling an Oceanid in and out of the ocean would probably cause the ship to tilt or even capsize. Whoops! Honestly, it's a really stupid contraption, but Nigel Badminton designed it, what do you want? He's an idiot.

I didn't include a translation for the language spoken between Ed and the Oceanid (which was again Rarotongan) because Jack doesn't know what the words mean and isn't going to bother to find out. However, I've provided them here (again, I did my very best to construct these phrases in a language I don't speak, I hope I got it right). I did not use a translating service for any of these, just studied the crap out of grammar and different examples of sentences and tried to figure it out.

Edward: Ae! Ae… ‘oa… (Hey! Hey… friend…)

Edward: É ’akamoe’au, é taku ‘oa… ‘akamoe’au… (Be at peace, my friend, be at peace)

Edward: Mãrie… meitaki… (Slowly… safe…)

Mystery Oceanid: E tauturu… (Help…)

Edward: ��e, tauturu! (Yes, help!)

[lutawolf]

Hi Luta!

I wanted to say I really enjoyed your review and commentary on episode 2 of Love in the Air! I read a lot of reviews making fun of the spanking scene and other dom/sub dynamics in this episode and commenting on how it was weird. Honestly just nasty comments in general. And as someone who’s slowly starting to accept myself as a submissive who has certain kinks, just those comments really made me feel insecure and just upset. Whenever I feel that way your posts and reviews really help me feel better and just more at ease. It makes me feel that I’m not alone and that it’s not weird for me to be interested in certain things or just be a certain way. Genuinely you and the community you have built has been what’s made me more comfortable with accepting my submissive side. So seriously thank you ❤️ I genuinely appreciate it so so fricking much.

Hey Hey Bestie,

That's one of the reasons why I'm so open about being a Kinkster and waving my freak flag. There are a lot of misconceptions. Especially here on Tumblr and a lot of vanillas that aren't even realizing that they are hurting real life people with their comments.

I have yet to meet a brat that doesn't have a no kink. It varies in degrees but it's there so typically the Dom adores a no kink. In most D/s relationships, spanking is very normal. If you aren't going to judge a homosexual for what they like then why are you judging a kinkster? It's not your flavor? Then don't do it and mind your business.

If I can help someone have confidence in being their authentic self. Then I've done what I've set out to do. We might be different but we aren't hurting anyone (unwillingly) therefor we should be given respect. Just know that their preconceived notions are their prejudice to deal with. Not yours and I'm always happy to help if you need me.

I'm so glad you enjoy my blog and I really appreciate you taking the time to read my posts. 💜💜💜

[anothermansjeans]

Give It A Like

Part 1: Welcome To My Channel!

paring: spencer reid x youtuber!fem!reader

summary: youtuber!reader meets spencer in a book store and finds it hard to keep a filter

word count: 1.5k

a/n: AHHH IT’S HERE!!! MY BABY! SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY MEANS SOMETHING TO ME LMAO okay, so i’ve read the feedback yall gave me and i think i will be posting the oc version later today on here as well (i will probably also post the oc version on other platforms, but i know some people only read on tumblr)! i wanna thank you all for hyping this up bc um… i’m scared HSHDNDN anyway, here she is!!

series masterlist | main masterlist

“--and I told her, ‘no, Kim, I can’t go to your multi-million dollar party on Saturday, Taylor already invited me to her Fourth of July beach party!’, and that’s how most of my dreams go. I always end up rejecting Kim Kardashian’s invitations. Maybe I should look up what that says about my subconscious… maybe I’m-- damnit, my camera’s dead.” 

Y/N stopped in the middle of the sidewalk on the busy streets of D.C, head down, now looking at the black display screen in despair. She thought she’d been doing this long enough now that she’d realize when her camera was about to die mid-vlog. “This” being making YouTube videos. 

She started about a year ago, not really knowing what the hell it took to actually post videos and have an internet persona, but after a month of silly little videos she deemed worthy of seeing the light of day online, she found herself slowly but surely gaining a following. She went from Y/N Y/L/N, the girl from a small beach town that ended up at Georgetown to Y/N Y/L/N, the up-and-coming YouTuber who is currently doing absolutely nothing with her business degree, but still makes enough from her videos to live in the small apartment she’s lived in since undergrad. 

“And I don’t have my extra battery. Great!” She rolled her eyes and continued her walk down the bustling street. This was the vlog where she was going to share her favorite bookstore with her subscribers. ‘Was’ being the key word here. There weren’t many places she felt the need to show her followers-- mostly for safety reasons (she’s heard too many horror stories about the crazy fans that will wait at an influencer’s favorite place in order to meet them, and she was not ready for any crazy J-Lo level stalker situations), but she still wanted anyone who watched her videos to see her authentic self. 

Entering the bookstore, she took a moment to appreciate her surroundings before making a bee-line towards the small outlet in the corner, digging in her bag to grab the charger for her battery (yes, she brought the battery charger but not her extra fully charged battery… she was a hot mess, okay?). She hadn’t been paying attention to her surroundings, muscle memory coming in handy from the countless times she’s had to use this outlet, but in that moment, oh in that moment she couldn’t have wished for anything more than to be paying attention. 

This had to be the most mortifying thing to ever happen to her, really. She somehow managed to completely fail at multitasking and miss the six foot figure who had to have ten books piled up. She was at fault here, she was the absolute mess, and she was the one to quickly drop down all frantic, radiating the awkwardness she always held when it came to any situation remotely similar to this.

“Shit, I’m sorry, wow, I really need to watch where I’m going.” She quickly began to start the small pile of books from where they lay on the ground, not paying any mind to the stranger who dropped said books as she continued to ramble. “And it’s not your fault-- just incase you were thinking that, because trust me, I’m the walking hot mess here and you’re just”, she took a deep breath, finally looking up at the man who was now kneeled down in front of her, contributing to the growing pile in front of her, before blurting out “really cute.” 

The brown-eyed, unruly haired man’s eyes shot to hers, neck all the way up to cheeks reddening as her comment sunk in. Y/N was bold...ish? She definitely had her awkward moments, don’t get her wrong, but at times she could find herself not really needing to keep her thoughts to herself. Taking this handsome stranger as example A. She wasn’t the type to shy away from showing her true self, and it was something that helped as she grew into her role on YouTube-- not giving a shit about what others may say about her personality. 

She was brought back to the present though, when the sound of the very, very handsome mystery stranger clearing his throat aroused. He was scratching the back of his neck, now looking literally everywhere but at her. So he was the awkward type. Again, she thought, cute.

“I’m Y/N. So the next time I inevitably try to kill you by not paying attention, you can give my name to the police.” She laughed at her own joke (she tends to do that a lot), but quickly stopped when she saw the wide-eyed shocked expression spreading across his face. “I’m kidding, promise.”

“Did you know that in eighteen twenty-eight, Louis Daguerre took the first photo that captured a human? He intended on  taking a photo of the Boulevard du Temple in Paris and a man happened to be standing in the street, getting his shoes polished. Exposure lasted for seven minutes so the man ended up getting captured.” 

The stranger’s sudden fact left Y/N confused until she followed his eyes to where her camera lay on the floor next to her discarded bag. 

“Oh,” she started, picking up the camera, “This isn’t for pictures. I take videos... for YouTube. I’m an influencer.” 

“That’s a website.”

“And you’re a genius!” As soon as the words left her mouth in the sarcastic tone, Y/N regretted it, noticing the twitch in his face and the crinkle between the man’s eyebrows. “I’m kidding. Again, sorry.”

“Well, factually speaking, I am a genius.” He had finally looked back up at her when he continued, “I have an eidetic memory, an IQ of one-eighty-seven, and I can read twenty-thousand words per minute.” 

“Well that explains the dozen books.” Noticing the corner of his lip twitch up made Y/N’s confidence become just a bit more boosted. “So, hot and smart? Does this genius have a name?” 

“I-I’m Spencer. Dr. Spencer Reid.” 

Her eyebrows skyrocketed up and she let out a small chuckle. “Wow, doctor, huh?” When she slowly started to get up from her position from the floor, she dusted off her hands and watched as he clumsily struggled to stand, picking up his books. “Guess I definitely don’t have a shot at getting your number.” 

“My- my number?” 

He did that a lot-- he sounded unsure. Y/N had literally just met the guy and she could already tell that for someone who should definitely have their ego boosted, he was on the self degrading train one-hundred percent. 

“Yeah, you know, so I don’t have to come here every day just so I have the chance to see you again? Trust me, I love this shop, but it saves some time, don’t you think?” 

“It’s not really safe to give your number to strangers”, his rebuttal made her quirk an eyebrow. So that’s how it’s gonna be. 

“How else am I supposed to get another fun fact?” 

He looked skeptical for a moment. Very skeptical. “You liked the fact… about the photo?” She slowly nodded her head in response, giving him a moment before she watched him dig in his satchel and pulled out a card. “Um, well this- this is my number. I use it a lot for work, but I always answer it.”

She took the card from his hand and gave him a soft smile. “Thank you. I was most certainly be texting you, Spencer.” 

“And I will text back… Y/N.” 

She really wanted to crack up at the exchange, but her gut told her this type of thing didn’t happen much. That he didn’t give his number out randomly. 

There was a small moment between the two, and Y/N had felt the butterflies swirl in her stomach. This felt right-- getting his number felt like the most right thing she’s done in a while. Their moment though, was interrupted by the small ding of his phone, and she saw dread flash on his face before looking back at her. 

“That was actually work. I uh, I should go pay for these.” 

She waved him off and shrugged, “go ahead. I need to charge this camera battery anyway.” 

And just as she imagined, his departure had been just as awkward, with a thin smile and a small wave heading her way, she sent one back before turning around and heading back towards the outlet. There was some part of her (the tiny narcissistic side of her) hoping he was nosy. She hoped some part of him couldn’t help but actually go onto YouTube and see what she was about. Hoping that he saw that fun side she put out there for the world to see and become completely enthralled by her. She was hoping he would be just as captured by her as she was by him. 

But now, looking down at the card he’d given her when asking for her number, she didn’t really think she would have to hope for it. Criminal Profiler, SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. The damn FBI… he was in the FBI. Yeah, he was definitely going to see her fun side. 

permanent tag list: @ssa-m-187 @openheart12 @boxofsparklingmuses @averyhotchner @lovereid @hey-there-angels @muffin-cup @imhreid @spenxerslut @cal-ifornication @altsvu @willowrose99 @reidingmelodies @madswonders @luvofyourlifeliv @spencers-dria @reidyoulikeabook @coffeeandendlesswords @alltooreid @laurakirsten0502 @reblogsoffanfics @spencerreid9

spencer x reader tag list: @goose-eats-god

series tag list: @outer-spacious @boygenius-reid @anywherebuthere @meganskane @cyanide-mustard @slutinwhite @big-galaxy-chaos @matthewscumslut

let me know if you would like to be added or removed! :)

[helena-thessa]

Hi Helena! Big fan of your writing here🥺♥️ Your rivamika fics are my safe space 😭 (if you have time to answer) i’d love to know when you first started shipping them, why, and what made you continue to love this ship (or anything else to do with your journey as an RM shipper)? i love your characterisation of both levi and mikasa individually, but even more so, your portrayal of their dynamic as a couple, which is why i wanted to ask so badly ☺️ x

Hey anon! Oh woah, first of all, thank you so much. Second of all, oh god, you probably shouldn't have handed me the mic. heh 😅

I’m afraid to look at the word count of this response, I’m sure it’s much more than you bargained for, but I appreciate the question and enjoyed thinking through my response (: Most importantly, I’m so glad you find my stories as a safe space. It’s really an honor. Thank you for sharing with me 🖤🖤

TL; DR As a longtime reader, writer and lover of stories and story-telling, by being someone who pays attention to how stories are crafted and deliberately developed from beginning to end, I sincerely thought Isayama was setting up rivamika as an endgame relationship. So, I read into and interpreted meaning out of ALL their interactions and became deeply invested.

I don’t necessarily ship them cause of the parallels, age gap, enemies to lover trope, height difference, or some of those common reasons and/or kinks. I’m more basic and boring than that. I love the concept of them coming together as though it’s inevitable.

They both are unbelievably strong, selfless, and have suffered so much loss— so, no one else could truly understand them as well as they can understand each other. They both probably would have always settled for a stable, simple life, and been alone and lonely even without realizing it— instead, they find each other, and realize what it means to actually no longer be alone, to do more than just survive. It’s this understated bond, as opposed to a dramatic and passionate romance, that I envision in them and that I love so much.

Then, the passion, heat, the romantic "spark"— I think that’s an added bonus, the cherry on top, the perfect final puzzle piece. They’re both so physically capable, can speak through their actions, and don’t show much need or capacity for emotional/ verbal communication, so the ability to connect with each other through physical intimacy and mind-blowing sex seems like another given.

Still, at the end of the day, for me it comes back to their ability to fully depend on each other, to the inevitability. Not like some soulmate trope where they 'have no choice' in it, but like the stars aligned to prove it's right. How each of them have only one other person on the whole planet who could see and understand them, to be on par with them, to make them realize there’s more to life than settling and surviving, and they happen to find it in each other.

You asked, I rambled 😅 Here’s a breakdown of my thought process in my rivamika journey. For those who make it to the end or want to skip to the end, I'll finish with the excerpt of the very first rivamika scene I felt compelled to to write.

I've tried before to re-watch and remember the exact scenes, exact moments, that initially captured my full attention, but I guess it was all of them, the gradual and cumulative compilation of their earliest interactions.

Mikasa always appearing cool and indifferent, and paying no attention whatsoever to others fawning over, like Jean initially falling for her, but then her strongly reacting over Levi in the courtroom showed how uniquely capable he was at getting under her skin.

Of course, the scene in the forest chasing the Female Titan was a critical one. I think of that as the first time both Levi and Mikasa were truly able to see the other's strength, mental and physical. And for them, orphans and trauma survivors who have suffered extensive loss, I think that seeing strength in another person made them feel less alone. Less alone in a deep, quiet but cataclysm, life-altering sort of way, even if not a romantic one. Like they didn't know it was something they didn't have, something they didn't expect to get from life, but then found it with each other.

(Even when we found out Levi was an Ackerman, I was disappointed if it meant they were immediate relatives, but willing to accept it wouldn't be a romantic end to loneliness, it would be a familial end to loneliness. But... the author never explored that. Not once.)

In that forest scene, manga and anime, the way that Levi pauses to really look and see Mikasa and think about who she is, what she’s gone through, and how strong and dedicated she is now— that was a defining moment. It was also a visual demonstration of Levi breaking character, from aloof and ruthless, to considering and curious. I thought Yams was showing both of them do that on purpose.

Then, Levi getting hurt because of Mikasa in that scene felt like another clue. Sure, it was while saving Eren, and sure, it could have been meant to humanize super-soldier Levi, or sure, it could have been another aspect of how Mikasa rushing into things over Eren ends up hurting other people that later changes in her character development, but it felt like a very pointed statement about Mikasa being a vulnerability for Levi. And that's swoon-worthy, right? Most of us have been exposed to and conditioned by stories about how special and romantic it is to be the one and only girl who can make an otherwise disinterested or unattainable guy actually pay attention to her, and so admittedly I fall right for it.

I’m sure I’m forgetting plenty, but the opening of season 3 felt like confirmation. When Levi figures out Kenny's behind things and entrusts Mikasa with instructions to share with the others, instructions about fighting people instead of titans that ultimately everyone else besides her struggles with, and when Mikasa lets Levi hold her back from chasing after Eren, her most important way of trusting and having faith in Levi, I honestly took that as cues from the author that rivamika was endgame. I let myself get truly invested from then on. That’s that understated bond I was referring to. To me, that unspoken but undeniable trust is the most important dynamic.

Seeing them fight together or fight similarly has always been fun and powerful and fulfilling.

I'm newer to the snk club. I was originally an anime-only fan and started watching in fall 2019, I think. I wasn't on tumblr, twitter, or anything else to see fandom discourse. So, I didn't know that the rooftop scene of Mikasa fighting Levi over the serum was such a staple for our ship until much later. I love the scene just like many do for all the reasons we do, but I don't think the actual scene was pivotal for me, so much as it's aftermath. I thought it represented two things.

One, it was an important marker in Levi's characterization. Hands-down one of the most striking scenes to me is the one where Levi is in the alley, somber and alone, listening in on Eren, Armin, and Mikasa talking together. It artfully shows his longing for hope and connection. So, when Levi chose Armin for the serum, that represented Levi choosing hope. And when Mikasa ultimately gave up fighting Levi and didn't choose Armin, which Armin finds out about later on, I see that as an important marker in Mikasa's development. It puts a wedge between her and Armin/Eren [Armin, because he knows she would have let him die, and Eren, because Armin is too special to him and he couldn't look at her the same way after realizing she would have let him die]. That distance between her and her childhood friends is one I don't think could ever be healed completely, one of those painful lessons in growing up. By doing that, it then also puts a distance in Mikasa's own childhood self to her current self. I thought that matured her and separated her out in a way that was another clue toward eventual rivamika developments.

That's a whole other conversation on Mikasa, but I’ll stay on track. Her love for Armin was absolutely authentic and fierce, but at the end of the day, at the core of her being, she chose survival over hope. Meanwhile, Levi chose hope over survival. To me, that was soft, fertile ground for the reasons why eventually, if/when Mikasa found hope and chose hope, that could directly tie together with her inevitably in coming together with Levi. Again, less butterflies and fireworks, but more natural and in a way that was just a given.

I wrote Beyond the Walls before reading the manga from the Marley Arc and on, so that's why most of that story is her journey into embracing that hope. *manga spoilers* There's a lot of meta, criticism and talk about Mikasa's silent, off-screen and subtle style of character development in the Marley Arc and afterward. I won't go down that road, I'm still processing the end of the manga to be honest, but I think it's fair to say she does eventually end up choosing hope over survival when she lets go of Eren and saves humanity instead. I love the “Stay with Me” line and think it’s perfect; a simple but profound display of trust and their deep-rooted bond in a really understated way. *end manga spoilers*

Here's something I always wanted to talk about in full but haven't. It honestly reads to me like Yams was building toward rivamika, and didn’t do anything to stop that until too late. There are tools authors can use to ensure we stop shipping a pair or start shipping a new one; love triangles are commonly used in every artistic medium and we’ve all been persuaded by these tools. But Yams didn’t use these tools to make sure readers didn’t feel convinced by rivamika. For all the reasons I listed above, more I'm forgetting, and for the following:

If he wanted us to think they were family and it would be incest, he should have added in a conversation between them realizing they were (close) family and that they weren't the only ones left in their biological family like they thought. But he didn't.

If he wanted us to think it was completely inappropriate between a child-and-adult and student-and-teacher, then he could have done something to ensure Mikasa looked childish or Levi looked older, but no. They barely look ten years apart. I do think it's unacceptable and that there's a power imbalance between a child-and-adult relationship regardless of that, and that there can't be true consent when one is a superior and another a subordinate, so I personally age-up Mikasa in my head and try to handle his position of power responsibly in my writings... but the point being, by the end of canon, there's no inappropriate or non-consensual romance between them, yet there's a lot of history and chemistry that could naturally lead to an age-appropriate and consensual relationship. If Yams didn't want us to think so, he could have made it more clear that there were reasons it wouldn't happen.

The only thing that makes sense to me is the author planned on rivamika endgame but was shamed/pressured out of it (either internally or due to others) OR that the author somehow accidentally created such vibrant chemistry and an incredible dynamic between them. Like, he didn't put enough convincing substance of eremika in, didn't make Levi look old enough, didn’t have one of them do something unforgivable in the other’s eyes, etc. Those are some of those tools he could have used. Romance was never a key component in snk. And since we now know Yams planned or needed eremika endgame for sake of plot and the conclusion of the manga, I personally think he didn't know what to do with the riveting rivamika substance and chemistry being much more convincing to readers. Once he had them so well built-up, maybe the only option he felt he had was to just stop putting the characters together. We get little-to-no rivamika interaction, platonic or practical, after season 3 all the way up until the very end. But there was so much of it beforehand ?? So, it simply doesn't make sense. I think the author just straight-up cut any and all interactions out between them because it was too convincing and moving, more convincing and substantial than eremika. But, as the end of canon shows, we needed to have some eremika buy-in. It's messy writing and unskilled in the romance department, but considering for how long and how complicated snk has been in a creative process and how lackluster the eremika romance (the main and apparently pivotal romance) is developed, I think it’s plausible to say the author effed up.

As far as writing fanfiction goes, there's just so much room to explore them. In canon, we aren't given enough insight into their individual perspectives, let alone their dynamic together, so it feels like a blank canvas to work from. I think that's part of why I love to write them, and also why I don't necessarily read much of them. When I first started shipping them while watching the anime, I read a few of the classics that were canon-verse, but I haven’t really read much since. For me, exploring and discovering them as a writer is the most fun. (It's one of the reasons Naruto and Harry Potter have such large fanfiction collections. There's so much world-building and so many characters, but there's also so much left to the imagination.)

In general, I'm drawn to strong characters, especially women, who are multidimensional enough to be real, vulnerable and soft. Mikasa is the pinnacle of that. I don’t necessarily like to write about her love or infatuation with Eren, but I do respect and admire and consider it integral to her character and her amazing capacity to love. We can have strong, kickass women who falter when it comes to love but are still considered strong for it. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive and Mikasa is a beautiful example of that.

And Levi is strong, but real and vulnerable too; he’s honestly a fantastically developed character, from Petra explaining to Eren in the beginning how he’s not the amazing hero he’s painted to be to the public, to how Levi genuinely cares for Erwin and others and chooses hope despite all he’s suffered.

The end of the manga wrecked me a bit. Kind of like Games of Thrones. You have something that was so epic and well-done for so long, a rushed ending that isn't immediately sensical and isn't fulfilling is hard to stomach. Eventually, I'll move on from the denial of that and process what I think and feel about it. The whole reason we have fanfiction is to expand on canon, but it's made me put rivamika on the back burner until I figure it out. So I'm a little less hyper-fixated on the pairing right now even though interacting with you all and asks like this remind me what brought me here in the first place. 😊

To conclude, I’ll share that the very first rivamika content I wrote was a compilation of moments I thought could be inserted into season 3. These are still moments I plan to edit and publish one day. For anyone that actually read this far, I’ll put a rough and unedited excerpt of the first scene I ever wrote about them.

Thank you again anon 🖤😊

BEGIN EXCERPT [after the rooftop fight for the serum, immediately following the ceremony where Eren touched Historia by kissing her hand]:

Part of her was embarrassed at such a flagrant act of disobedience to a superior, especially to one who saved her and countless others' lives in the past. But mostly, she was anguished by the situation Captain Levi put her in once he revoked the serum meant to save Armin and planned to use it on Commander Erwin instead. Her current ostracization and self-loathing was not entirely her own fault. Anger she felt toward herself was just as easy to wield against him.

It must have shown in the grit of her teeth or defiant tone, because he turned to look at her, more aloof than curious.

Like a flint struck to steel, it ignited the fury she felt toward him.

“I shouldn’t have hesitated. I should have just killed you,” she answered him at last, piercing him with eyes darker than the night.

He wasn’t concerned. “You’re good, but not that good.”

Her hands fell to her side, fists clenched as she stood with a single, fluid movement. Before she could let loose a threat, he sighed.

“What’s the problem, Ackerman?” He was dismissive, his shoulders relaxed and posture loose.

The fire too furious to contain, she went sailing for him with the same speed from the battlefield. Her fingers already curled, she tightened her grasp as she swung her fist into his gods-damned apathetic face.

Levi wasn’t unprepared. He easily side-stepped her, then snatched her wrist to steal her momentum. Though he tried to toss her aside, she was no less fast; Mikasa dug her heel in and spun, her other arm shoving hard into his chest.

Too graceful to stumble, Levi used the chance to hook her second arm too. He caged both her wrists in a grip so strong, she was sure it bruised her bones. Still, he only looked at her warily, almost bored.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful? I chose Armin.” If his reminder was meant to ease her anger, it had the opposite effect.

Fury and desperation gifted her additional strength. She shoved into his chest hard. Levi shifted backward, nearly forced into loosening his grip; within that split second of an opening, Mikasa slammed her elbow into his chin, rocking his head backward.

“You did,” she seethed, but as fast as the fire inside her exploded, it was doused. Her next words came out broken and damp. “But I didn’t.”

Levi remained stern and otherwise unmoving as he attempted to flex his jaw through the spasm of pain. As the momentum of the fight died down, he loosened his hold on her wrists and evaluated her distraught frame.

Mikasa immediately released her own hands and turned away from him, eyes stinging from tears she refused to shed as she focused on the stars ahead. Admitting the harsh words aloud hurt her far more than any injury she could inflict onto him.

Not only was Armin one of the only friends she had, but he’d been a steadfast one throughout almost all she could remember of her life. After the trauma of her childhood, it was Eren and Armin who embraced her, whom she learned to love. Now, though, there was a wedge between her and Armin she was not sure could ever be removed. What was worse, as deplorable and selfish as she knew it proved her to be, was the painful wedge it now put between her and Eren too.

Once again, she found Levi standing at the peripheral of her sight, close enough to see but far enough to be a blur at the edge of her watery vision.

“You almost killed me.” Levi repeated his earlier words, but he said them with an odd bite, torn between frustration and patience. “You would have killed me to save him.”

Too late, Mikasa realized he hadn’t meant these words as an accusation, but an odd form of validation. She bit her bottom lip, teeth puncturing too hard; the tang of metal was sharp on her tongue when she swallowed blood.

“You thought about letting your closest friend die,” Levi said quietly, tiredly. “But I did let mine die. I left him for dead, when I could have saved him.”

Mikasa was startled from her selfish reverie, for the first time acknowledging the sacrifice he made on that fateful afternoon. She’d been too absorbed in her own relief, and then, her own regrets to consider what the decision had done to him.

For a brief moment, she considered turning to face him, but the stark reality of the matter made her refrain. How could she feel pity for his loss, when his loss enabled her gain? An uncomfortable knot tightened in her stomach.

“Tch,” Levi sighed. He was only one notch less taciturn, but for him, that was soft. “You’ll live with your guilt, and I’ll live with mine.”

His words granted Mikasa’s tears the permission to spill. She buried her face further into her scarf, both hands trembling at the worn threads. As quietly as he arrived onto the roof, Levi disappeared from it.

.

.

It was rare for him to indulge in alcohol or celebrations, but Erwin’s absence felt more tangible than his presence ever did. Levi distracted himself with the chaos of the few remaining Scouts that Erwin had died entrusting his legacy to, and attempted to drown the pain with whatever drink Connie Springer shoved into his hands.

He found Hanji with their ale long-forgotten about on the table as they half-stood from their seat, frantic while explaining some morbid experiment in great, vivid detail to an unsuspecting and slightly horrified MP officer.

Though Levi wordlessly took the seat beside them, Hanji paused their rant to slap him hard on the back, an enthusiastic greeting flying from their drunken lips. The MP took this chance to excuse himself, a pathetic attempt at politeness, but Hanji either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

“Ah, Levi,” they smiled at his drink, though it didn’t entirely reach their one eye. “Where you been?”

Levi didn’t answer. “You know, shitty-glasses, you’re even more unbearable about your experiments when you’re drunk.”

Hanji waved dismissively and reached for their ale. Years spent in battle and command together had gifted both of them with an eased familiarity, and sometimes, genuine friendship. In the same manner he ignored their question, Hanji ignored his lack of response and went on with their original inquiry.

“Careful, Captain,” Hanji warned lightly. “Now that there’s far fewer Scouts, you having a favorite might cause some division.”

Even though Hanji meant the words, there was a glint of mischief that twinkled in their remaining eye.

“It’s not favoritism,” Levi countered bluntly, turning his vision toward the young man on the far side of the room. “Eren is simply the best chance that we have in this war.”

Hanji laughed as if he’d made a joke and Levi looked back to stare at them, unable to be surprised at their quirks or oddities any longer, but still a touch curious about what spurned this current demonstration.

“I wasn’t talking about Eren,” Hanji said at last, a pointed nod toward his injured chin.

Levi blinked. He didn’t realize he was nursing his injury with the hand not on his drink. As though it were too hot to touch, Levi dropped his hand.

Hanji was not judgmental, nor inquisitive. In a war-torn life of losing too many cadets entrusted to him, the fact that Levi found a soldier with the strength and skill to remain safe was not only rare, but worth special attention. Still, it made him too lenient.

“Sometimes I think you’d let her get away with murder,” Hanji chided halfheartedly.

When he thought of Erwin dead in his grasp, sometimes he wasn’t sure if he already had.

[what-the-witch-stuff]

Allright. Elliott thread that nobody asked for. Part 4

The words you read seem to be some alien gibberish? Try these first:

Part 1   |    Part 2     |   Part 3      

Don’t worry guys. It will be over soon, I promise.

Bevore we start: This happened yesterday.

And I basically turned into that iCarly gif, where she’s on the Computer, sippin’ her drink and goes: interesting.

Because look who we have here. Our future husband acting all self-aware? Right after I assumed in my last post that he never talks about the possibility of his failure...

Elliott, do you know that I talk shit about you on Tumblr?

Please stop breaking the 4th wall...

To safe at least some of my ‘credibility’, he followed this up with something along the lines of:

“No, no...I am not fishing for compliments. Which does not mean I don't appreciate them ;) “.

Sure. Whatever.

In comparison to that:

A few in-game days previously, I had a cut-scene with Leah, where the player can suggest that she should organise an art show. And there, Leah openly communicated her fears of ppl not liking her art. I was surprised about how open she was, given that it was probably her 2nd heart event or something (?). It's interesting, how Leah (who I perceived to be more reserved than Elliott), was so willing to let us know about her insecurities. Meanwhile, Elliot seems to brush these thoughts aside rather quickly and returns to his nonchalant, graceful self.

I always thought that from the two of them, it might be Elliott who is more vocal about his emotions. But now, Elliott doesn't seem to wear his heart on his sleeves as much as I thought he would. Which changed the way I think about him quite a bit. Maybe he is more likely to hide behind platitudes and a self-assuring smile, after all.

And what can we take from this, when we would want to write, let’s say a scene with Leah/Elliott friendship dynamic?

What do you guys think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways, before I was so disgracefully exposed, I was roasting Elliott’s life choices. To which I now gladly return to.

You see, the "issue" I see with Elliott is, that he plays into a trope:

The brooding hermitic author, who turned his back onto society in favour of finding inspiration in nature.

While this might sound thrilling and "romantic", we know that Elliott is not the best candidate to conform to this lifestyle. Just compare, how we as the player, manage to form quite strong relationships with everyone in Pelikan Town just by talking to them regularly.

We see Elliott outside the beach-area quite often. But aside from Leah, he does not seem to interact with anyone much. I don't know if there are statements about Elliott made by other characters, to have some inkling on how they feel about him. But its quite remarkable, how all other friendships outside to his connection with Leah, are not explicitly known as canon (?).

After a whole year living in this town, previous to our arrival, I would suggest, that Elliott might still be very much an outsider. He even remarks how, with our arrival, it will be nice, to no longer be "the new guy" in town.

But the problem with that might have been Elliott's reservedness, to begin with. Polite, but yet, maybe, quite impersonal. All pleasantries and platitudes as mentioned above. It all plays into Elliott's refusal to experience the comforts of a normal lifestyle in favour of pursuing his art.

And I love how Elliott just brushes that aside as if its nothing. I'd really love to know: what would have been his plan b, if his debut failed?

Worst case cenario: What would he'd done, if he ended up stranded in Pelikan Town, penniless and unsuccessful?

Where would he go? Is there a place he can return to? A previous home, previous friends?

I don't think so.

But, dedicated, impuslive, sweet, dumb Elliott just thought to himself:

“I can do that. How bad can it be???, it will be fi~ne.It will be marvellous!

Authentic, truly!

It will be superb pictouresque and that is all I need to write my novel....”

Thanks Yoba. You’ll keep doing that please.

And then we also have interactions of the likes of:

“People have scaped a living off the sea for thousands of years....

I just go to the grocery store.”

A different thought I had on Elliott kind of plays into what I already said previously. But I will adress it as its own topic.

The downside of Elliott’s ego.

As much as we explored the rather whacky / chaotic elements of his character and how he does stupid shit for prestige itself, it is interesting to see what happens when the player challenges his self-dramatisation.

I keep re-thinking if and to what degree Elliott can laugh about himself.

He is not one for self-deprecating humour, I think.

I can imagine that to be more Shane’s thing.

We see different scenarios, in which Elliott reacts differently to things not going his way. One of the positives is the whole “A tiny crab made a home inside his coat pocket”- story. I have seen two interpretations of this scene. And both are dependent on the tone, in which you read his dialogue. One group thinks he is just complaining yet again.

On the other hand, you could read it more like:

“My, look what we have here. Can you believe that [y/name]?!“.

I think that Elliott does not appear to be angry or annoyed at all in that scenario, too. He could have vented to the player, how he needs a new coat, now.  But he simply leaves it at that. And you know what?

But, there are other times, where Elliott reacts negatively to the player not doing what he wants you to do. Meaning:  your reaction to him or your behaviour in a specific situation. Let's look at his 2nd (?) heart event at the Stardrop Saloon. He comes up to the bar, finds himself in the mood for company, and orders wine for you and ale for himself. 

New Headcanon:

That little crab still lives there! It will probably live there long after you two get married. And he will feed it scraps from the dinner table even though you ask him not to.

Whatever...Sounds Cute. 

My first reaction to that was: “aw, wHaT a GeNtLemAn!!!”. My second reaction was my inner feminist having a temper tantrum because: “how dare a man, to assume what I want to drink!” 

New Headcanon on Elliott and gender roles, anyone? Or is it given, that with him being a good old fashioned lover boy, his expectation on any relationship dynamic might be more traditional?

As much as I find Elliott charming and all, this could be a great red flag and, again, beautiful material for character-conflict. Maybe Elliott needs to learn to not take everything at face value. Maybe he needs to learn, how to take a joke. Especially those made at his expense.

However, when the question arises, what the two of you should drink on, he will not laugh if you say “your doom”.

This is not something he sees as sarcasm or as a joke. In fact, you lose 50 friendship points! Like holy shit. That in itself is not much, but its a game-penalty. He is actively reacting negatively toward you. This is one of the few times, where your decision actively has an impact on the friendship-metre. Of course, that statement could be delivered in a non-joking matter. Which then justifies his reaction.... sure.

But even the fact that Elliott chooses, to not downplay or gloss-over your comment, leaves me with the following interpretation:

He hoped for a charming, flirtatious interaction. All you had to do, was to play along. But you ruined it.

Just imagine a situation with a little bit of miss-communication and a version of Elliott that is a little too proud for his own good and *chef's kiss* we have drama.

Me to Elliott and Farmer-OC: fight! fight! fight! fight! :D

All of you reading right now:

omg can't you just chill??? We are here for the fluff :(((

Also: depending on how it's written, that could be one of Elliott's major character flaws. The one that is not cute at all!

__________________________

I wanted to take some jabs at Elliott's likes and dislikes. But as it turned out: Yes, you can turn Duck feathers into quills. I had this funny headcanon that Elliott wanted to be extra special by choosing duck feathers as his preferred writing instrument. And I was all like: “use a pen!!”.

But then I found out about the Unobtainable Weapons-List and Elliott’s pen is one of them. Okay, whatever. 

And then I asked google how to make quills. And while duck feathers are not the preferred or most popular option, there is also nothing that would speak against it, as long as the feather’s shaft is durable enough. So that theory has flown out of the window pretty quickly as well.

The only thing that comes to my mind instead is, how Elliott would still need a digital manuscript for publishing. But me screaming: “Where is your Laptop Elliott??? You need a computer! Its the 21 century!!!” is not half that funny anymore.

I guess I’ll end it here.

I hope you enjoyed this completely useless stream of consciousness.

I will now continue playing Stardew Valley and indulge in all my other quarantine-born obsessions.

I wish you a wonderful day and happy farming.

[sitabethel]

Fic tag game, and I was tagged by @rochelle-echidna, @isisishtar, and @ninjam117

1 - how many fics do you have on ao3?

Like any good Suikoden protagonist, I have 107 Stars of Destiny in my castle

2 - what’s your total word count?

2,445,507 (Daddy...Imma get that to 2.5 mill by the end of the year. Watch)

3 - what are your top fics by kudos?

The Lemonade Stand

Out From the Cold

King of Thieves

Safe

Talk Dirty to me

wtf, y’all. The puppyshippers are giving out more kudos than the thief stans. Shame. Shame. Talk Dirty To Me isn’t even a fic??? It’s an RP supersteff posted for funsies??? 

4 - do you respond to comments why or why not?

Most of the time (as long as I’m not overwhelmed with life). Responding to comments is how I’ve made most my friends in this fandom, so A++ would recommend. 

5 - what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Three Nights. My only fic w/a sad ending (which is why I wrote Three More Nights b/c I couldn’t handle having a sad ending. I had to fix it.)

6 - what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I honestly couldn’t say. I’m here to have a good time and to make sure all my favs also have a good time, so I’m always actively trying to give them the happiest possible endings. 

7 - do you write crossovers?

Nope.

8 - have you ever received hate for a fic?

I sure the hell have

9 - do you write smut? What kind.

ROTFLMFAO

10 - have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. It was kinda funny b/c out of all the fics, it was “Me” a 5k deathshipping one shot that is one of my least popular works. But like...I don’t really think they were *trying* to steal it so much as homage it? But they were too young and unskilled to know how to rework something properly, so it was almost an exact copy of my fic. I tried to go over it and show them how to rewrite parts in order for it to be more original (Like, you can give YM piercings, just don’t give him the exact same piercings. You can have YM play with his hair/clothes/presentation in order to explore his identity, but pick different things that are more unique and how *you* would imagine YM being as his own person, instead of just copying exactly what I did). 

11 - have you ever had a fic translated?

There’s an Italian version of Storm of White on ao3 (go kudo bomb it!)

12 - have you ever co written a fic before?

Lots! I love colabs <3 The last one I did was Conspire With You, but there was also A Way Home, and I’ve co-written a few things with SuperSteffy. Please support all the other writers who worked hard on these fics with me! (kudo-bomb the hell out of them)

13 - what’s your all time favorite ship?

*Cries in polyamory* 

I can’t...choose one. Thiefshipping and Deathshipping were my first favorites, but like...damn, Kingshipping and Trapshipping have honestly ruined me. And Arrestshipping...Euroshipping...Rustshipping...Boundshipping...LISTEN!!! If it’s any combination of Seto/Atem/Yugi/TKB-YB/Ryou B/YamiMa/Malik it’s my favorite, okay? I’m a dragon who hoards ships. Especially polyships. I will literally froth at the mouth at any combo of those 7. Now let’s move on to the next question before I add more characters to the list........

14 - what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

That demon/angel au I was working on years and years ago. A shame, since I think there was a lemon that spilled into 3 chapters in that and it’s what Bakura deserves, but the plot was just...meh. 

15/16 - writing strengths and weaknesses

Strengths: Dialogue, sometimes imagery, projecting the right trauma/personality traits on the right characters in a way that can make scenes relatable/authentic. 

Weaknesses: I can be lazy with some plot points b/c it’s fanfiction, and I’m only here to have a good time, so eff it. And I will absolutely “sum up” certain chapters in order to finish a story at 80% potential. Anons used to get on my ass about this, and some commenters too, but I refuse to repent of my hasty ways. I write a lot of stories, and sometimes it’s better to get 3 80% stories out instead of one 100% story (for me. absolutely nothing wrong with ppl who want to write their best all the time. Like, mad respect to those peeps). Anyway, the ppl who complain are 100% accurate, right, and valid, but again, If you call me out on this I’ll just shrug at you and remind you of my commission prices b/c I’ll be happy to personally tailor a story for any angry anon-- if they want to put their money where their critique is *blows kiss*

17 - what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Depends on the context and how it’s used. 

18 - what was your first fandom you wrote for?

FFVII, but I never posted any of it thank god

19- what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I honestly love so many of my stories. I honestly re-read my own stuff all the time for comfort/self-care. I especially love a lot of the more intense, emotional pwp one-shots. It’s extremely difficult to pick one, but let’s go with humor and link 

Measuring Up 

Gotta love Bakura’s monster **** And the interaction involved with writing that story made it so much more fun. I really miss the days where you could slap a vote on tumblr and get a lot of responses, and dammit I miss Abby throwing random things into my ask box (like Bakura’s monster ****) 

Not going to tag anyone, since so many ppl are in the same little thiefshipping circle and I’d probably just accidentally tag a lot of ppl who have been tagged by others already. 

[hoochy-coo]

I have a bunch of questions for WS anon since I am interested in other celebs possible pr too!

1. With your job, is it regular for anyone working in the industry to have tea? And do people working in or share what’s real or not?

I would say it gives you the opportunity to hear gossip or rumors that only people in the industry would know. I will say you'd probably need to go out of your way to learn about it. In my case I work with athletes and aside from the people they hookup with, their scandals, vices it's not really a place with tea. But I do make a lot of friends in the industry and we gossip all the time and they share from their respective fields and about the celebs they work with or have a connection to. I guess it's the same as any kind of workplace gossip.

Working in what? You mean working in pr? A celeb's pr team will never tell you what is real/authentic or straight up fake or a mix of both. The most they'll give is what strategies they impose or how they mold things. But not directly, oh this is fake btw. For obvious reasons, they keep a lot of things secret and things only they would know. A lot of friends in pr do like sharing input or teach our gc how things go or look for the signs or the strategies we wouldn't even have figured without their help. A lot of times we also just hear a lot of rumors from inside sources that just outward contradicts what is being presented by the media/pr play of a celeb.

2. Can you tell me your thoughts on often thought pr couples? I am not a harrie at all and I see this from pop culture blogs.

lily/timmy - I don't know if it's pure pr or not but I've at least heard Timmy was also hooking up with other women during all those times he was with Lily. A lot of people have told me it's pure pr/mostly pr though. They did seem like a nice match as future it girl/boy but their reunion it didn't seem as interesting.

seb/ale - I actually don't follow either of those two enough. I thought Seb has always been pretty open about his gfs? At least I thought him and Leighton were pretty public. For his current gf, if it's pr then he hasn't gain a lot of fame imo. The only place I see him relevant or getting talked about is the tumblr/twitter stans which while loud isn't that big. I mean his fans sure let his last film flop hard, I doubt the BO was even enough to pay him.

henry/nat - I feel like I blocked out Henry's love life when he was dating a 19 year old. But I would say this is real. Until I see Natalie suddenly becoming a star I'd say this is pretty standard for Henry. Him and Kaley, yeah none of you can convince me that was real.

chris/jenny - A lot of people will kill me, but since Jessie admitted she also thinks they're pr then I'll admit I do too.

tom/zendaya - I think they're real. Either way I love it. We can probably judge based on how long this will last.

shawn/camila - real, but my friend says they're way more subdued in private at least

bennifer - I already sent an answer to this before

ben/ana - the blueprint

hiddleswift - pr

abelena - pr

If you're asking if I think they're pure pr, I don't know what happens when they're alone together to say it's all fake. I imagine hiddleswift, abelena, ben/ana probably hookup in private but was never as serious or real as they made it appear. If you're asking if they're real and using it for pr, well yeah I would say all of these would qualify as they're using it for pr too which isn't a bad thing. Like Ryan/Blake are obviously real and using their relationship for publicity.

3. Do you think hiddleswift was bad pr for Tom?

Not really. I do think it was meant to be longer with a full better rollout and ended too early with Taylor backing out. As someone who considers herself a self-hating swiftie, Tom gained a lot of loyal fans in the fandom for example and hiddleswift was pretty memorable pop culture moment in general.

4. How do you really feel about the holivia questions and harries in general since you tend to get the most abuse from them?

I'm irritated because of the angry anons and people who can't respect opinion. Other than that, my opinion on holivia still remains the same and it will not physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or financially hurt either Harry or Olivia. In the first place, I don't remember ever spending money for them. I think as long as Jessie allows pop culture discussion and allows the question, we can all and should respect opinion. I'm not in any way anti or pro holivia. I don't mind a pr relationship cause to me it's a normal and harmless part of their job. I also don't think pr should be equated as bad at all. We're kidding ourselves if we don't think celebs are like this.

5. I’m just basing this from the harry stans in this blog, but how do you see Harry benefit from holivia?

I already said this to my one harrie friend here but I always saw his fans overestimate his fame. Harry is big but he isn't BIG. He hasn't come to the level of Taylor, Drake, Ed, JB, or their counterparts for actors. Every celeb who came at that level went to levels of attention seeking and pr. When you're trying to venture into film, there are separate pr that could also be demanded from you. Being big in one industry doesn't equate to being an instant hit or success in the other. Especially when the film industry does have a lot of hesitation with singers to actors. Especially when with Harry he seems to want to be taken as a serious actor rather than the easy going route many of his contemporaries have done to jump start their acting career. Harry is being talked about a lot by blogs and accounts that used to barely mention him before. He is being discussed as a regular gossip which didn't happen for years. Imo fans just think he's too big for anything or that he is immune to pr or attention seeking. Me and my friends never saw him that way and we also never saw Harry as incredibly relevant or big, rather than he has an incredibly dedicated fanbase

Question for WS anon but I would also like to hear your opinion Jessie? Do you think Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling call the paps . Because I've generanlly heard that he is an extremely private ccelebrity but all those spottinga with his kid don't necessarily seem very organic to me Also are there any celebs that dont really call the paps?

You can be a private celeb and still call the paps. Ryan is a private guy but he has always been pretty open who he's dating and end of day they don't give us a lot of update or info about their relationship. Abel has started calling the paps a lot, but in hindsight he's still very private about himself.

I think the only celebs who don't call the paps are ones who don't have publicist.

- Worcestershire Sauce Anon

!!!

You answered this so thoroughly, thank you! X

[kyutown]

Good evening my liege! 💖 I was intrigued to find out about you while diving deeper into tumblr hell so, I am here with a plead to ship me with nct and svt, of you'd be so kind ✨

Alright so for starters, I'm an infp! I'm a generally well-mannered person with people I meet for the first time, borderline sweet and awkward at the same time. I like not to overinvest in first meetings with people and sometimes I think I am somewhat defensive of myself. My emotions always show on my face, both the good and the bad ones. So if someone does say something that I find offensive or whatnot, it SHOWS. I generally hate rude and offensive people all together, as well as people who are vulgar if we're not well acquainted first.

I'm not good at starting conversations and I usually just tend to listen to my friends talk most of the time. It's not like I have nothing to say but I really like listening to my favorite people ramble on about things they love or generally talk about their lives. Im a pretty good listener and I am always objective, even with my family. I won't hold back and I will give you my honest opinion in every case. I always try to see from all perspectives, maybe that's why I'm often somewhat indecisive.

That being said, I really don't shut up about things I love or my hobbies. I'm usually the mood maker of the group as I hate conflict and tension. I am a very sarcastic and cynical person in general and that reflects on my humor, which can vary from vulgar to very dark and inappropriate. Yes, the type of person that will try to hold in their laughter cause I made a mental joke to a funeral. I love witty, stimulating and deep conversations. I'm not that big on casual chitchat but it's okay most of the time I guess.

I'm the personification of open-minded and im also quite opinionated and I can back up my arguments if needed but I tend to avoid getting into heated conversations cause again, my mind reads it as tension. I love being around friends doing nothing and everything but most of the time, I find alone time to be very healing for my mind and soul. I find authenticity and weird little quirks that people have extremely attractive. I'm somewhat stubborn as well.

I also used to have stress and anxiety issues, not anything serious but enough that I had trouble sleeping at night. It was just a few years ago that I decided to not care about every single thing and have a more of a "fuck that" approach in life and honestly, I've never imagined that it would be so liberating. I regained my confidence, physically and mentally, it was an empowering process! I really do believe that self-exploring and healing is the no1 most important thing that someone can do. Love yourself first and foremost and fck what anybody thinks.

So, moving on xD I am a romantic and soft deep down, even though I try not to show sad emotions when around people. But you can be sure I cry at random rescuing dog videos, or videos with people helping each other. I love humanity but hate it at the same time? 😂 Idk if that makes sense, it is what I feel lol I love to learn new random stuff! I'm currently studying linguistics and uni and I aim to be a translator or interpreter, cause i love languages and the cultural differences that come with it. Hence my undying love for music of different genres and languages! Music relaxes me and I couldn't imagine going on without it for more than 3 days. While I do tend to listen to kpop which is more upbeat and experimental, I also LOVE Latin music and rock. I love love traveling around the world! My hobbies include drawing which I'm self taught, fashion and creative writing! I tend to daydream A LOT during the day and so many ideas pop up in my head. I love exploring other cultures' religions and beliefs as well as mythology. I always found it fascinating. I love plants as well! My room is basically a garden xD I also love mystical but also borderline creepy and gory stuff xD I call skulls "pretty" the same way I would call a puppy "cute" 🤣 I'm aware οf that but I can't help but enjoy the look of horror in people's faces xD

oh, I really enjoy observing people as well! Not in a weird way! Their mannerisms, the way they speak, their features. I also love thriller and horror movies the most as well as dark social drama ones. You know, with murders, suicides etc I like how in even the tiniest ways they depict our society as people and frankly, it's sad but I try to be optimistic and keep a positive approach in life. I also really appreciate stand-up comedy xD

Closing up this huge essay, some last things xD I, and I cannot stress this enough, am unable to flirt. Like at all. I can't even maintain eye contact for more than two Seconds. I wish I was kidding. Sadly I'm not 😂Weird thing is, turns out I am actually able to flirt but I'm not aware I'm doing it?? I'm a master at text flirting apparently lololol. What I am, is also called DENSE AS SHIT when it comes to couple things. True story, if you want to do the freaky with your s/o and you need me to leave the room you better TELL ME RIGHT TO MY FACE or else, we gon be there aaaaall night xD And its actually a remarkable feature of mine, considering how dirty minded I usually am lol

I also think I'm touch starved sometimes, like I really like hugs and cuddling and teasing but I'm not gonna ask for it🥺I'm a night owl and I tend to procrastinate a lot. I can't work efficiently if there's not a deadline, like I need that pressure on me in order to function xD My weak spot is actually to act whiny and needy and cutely in front of me. I can do ANYTHING that u ask me of when this happens. And if I show any resistance, JUST KEEP IT UP. I'm jelly on the floor when this happens. Idfk why, it just works?? My sister is abusing the sht out of this method 😭I can't say I make friends easily, cause I believe I do come off as maybe off-putting or weird at times, plus as I said if you're really cant shove your conversation in my face the first time we meet, imma be just an awkward ball of giggles and smiles and "can I go home now pls" 🤣 My general aesthetic / vibes would be sunsets on beaches, soft grunge, cottage core, lofi and hedge witch aesthetics!

Okay so, I think that's everything and probably way more than u needed, so thank you for reading everything my stupid ass wrote❤️

hi! thank you for responding!

for nct, i think yuta would be a nice fit! yuta also likes rock as his favorite band is one ok rock which is a rock band. i feel like you guys would always listen to music (not always rock) and would enjoy making time go by like this!

for seventeen, i think you would match well with the8! the8 would be the type to enjoy exploring new cultures with you and new religions, he would also love to dress up with you and put together outfits with you!

[heyyhaleyheyy]

As it’s Bisexual Awareness Week, I wanted to take this day to announce I’m finally announcing to the world that I am queer, and specifically Bi! It’s been a long time getting to this point of acceptance with myself, I’ve squashed this part of myself since I was a young girl because I grew up in such a conservative area, and my parents, especially my dad made me feel as if being straight was the only correct option to be. I knew there was always something inside me that wanted to come out, but I was so shameful about it from such a young age. To be honest, in my 25th year this year, quarantine made me do a lot of reflection, and overall finally bring me to my most authentic self. I honestly want to thank the cast of Wynonna Earp, especially Dom’s coming out story because it resonated so strongly with me, I truly understood what she felt growing up, because I felt the same way. I also want to thank all of you here on Tumblr, quarantine brought me back to this site after years of being off of it, and I love how accepting this site is, and how I was finally able to come to this point right here. Thank you for making me feel safe, loved, and wanted! To end, if anyone else ever needs someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to contact me, because thanks to this platform, I’m finally feeling happier and more myself than I’ve ever felt. Love, Haley 🌈💕🦋

[fastforwardtohappiness]

KorrAsami Fanfiction

JK I’m not really Zuko

In honor of KorrAsami’s 6th Year Anniversary, I’m sharing a short unfinished fan-fiction I’ve been working on since finishing the series for the second time. 

I’m not sure how this moment fits within Turf Wars/Ruins, but I’m picturing this as not too long after Korra and Asami return from their Spirit World vacation (maybe right after the events of Turf Wars end?), where Asami and Korra decide to move in together.  Enjoy!

(I tried to fix the formatting but Tumblr is annoying)

----

"I thought you said you were going to get something quaint?" Korra said sarcastically as she excitedly bounded through the apartment.

Asami giggled sheepishly, "I guess quaint isn't quite the right word, huh? It is smaller than the Sato Mansion..."

“Are you kidding? This view is amazing!” Korra chuckled as she ran towards a large open glass door that lead to a balcony that wrapped around the front of the apartment. Her bright blue eyes glinted with the reflection in front in front of her.

Their new apartment had a sweeping view of Republic City’s Yue Bay. The late summer sunset’s pink rays glittering warmly on the gentle swells. In the far distance she could also see Kyoshi Bridge, and Air Temple Island. Just a bit closer, was her past self proudly staring back at the city, seemingly admiring his accomplishment. Korra couldn't help but wonder if that was still the case - she wished she could ask.

Korra’s eyes then fell upon the ruins left in the wake of Kuviras attack. Her hand absentmindedly found the back of her head, “Er - if you look past the destroyed parts…”

“Think of it as an opportunity to make things even better that before!” Asami said walking up behind Korra and placing her hands on her shoulders.

“I actually already have some ideas in mind that I have to share with Zhu Li,” Asami added. Her hand found her chin as she looked at the shambles in the distance, her brow furrowed. Korra could almost see the gears in Asami's head churning.

Before Asami found a reason to disappear in her office for a few hours Korra interrupted her machinations. “How long do you think we’ll stay here?"

Korra and Asami found that after their fateful vacation in the Spirit World, they now had a new need for privacy that they didn’t really have before. 

The White Lotus members on Air Temple Island were still dutifully protecting Korra on Tenzin and Tonraq’s orders despite Korra’s fervent objections. They argued that extra security couldn’t hurt.

Korra and Asami were able to sneak away from them for a few brief moments of alone time, but eventually they would see or hear a White Lotus member lurking nearby. Although Asami was able to laugh at these moments, Korra was growing increasingly frustrated and Asami felt sorry for the White Lotus members that were being constantly chewed out by her angry girlfriend. Not to mention that when Tenzin’s kids were around, they clung to Korra like elbow leeches.

Asami's childhood home was now home to Mako, Bolin and practically all their known relatives. A lot of them having a hard time finding jobs in the Republic City job market. Although Ba Sing Se was a large and unforgiving city, and Mako's family had it rough there too, Republic City was also a harsh place to thrive in; Asami didn't want to rush them while they figured things out.

But mostly she felt haunted by the ghosts of her father and mother in those hallways – particularly now after her father's recent and gruesome death. She wasn’t ready to go back there even if there was a spare room available somewhere on the estate.

Asami shook the painful loss of her parents out of her head before Korra noticed a change in her expression, "I think we may be here for a while," Asami smiled tentatively.  

Korra didn't say anything, instead gently smiling back and moving closer to Asami. She gave Asami a light but meaningful peck on the cheek and looked deeply into her eyes, "Anywhere can be home as long as I'm with you."

Asami was sure that Korra noticed Asami trying to hide those painful thoughts. Korra always seemed to notice these things, especially nowadays.

Asami grabbed Korra’s hands and smiled, "I love you." She kissed Korra. Every time they kissed it was electric. A lightning bolt coursed through her body.  

Korra too felt this rush of energy flowing through from the moment their lips made contact. She felt like her entire spirit was being undone. Like she could float away into the heavens if she wasn't tethered to the Earth by some force. By Asami.

Suddenly feeling vulnerable but at the same time electrified, Korra pulled away suddenly and bounded out the open glass door. For a second, Asami tensed up as Korra jumped and disappeared in a gust of wind. A few moments later she heard Korra from somewhere above the doorframe, "Wow this place is unbelievable!”

Asami sometimes forgot that despite Korra's appearance, as an airbender she was extremely light on her feet and capable of near flight, but Korra's recklessness and impulsivity still sometimes caught her by surprise.

Korra's head hilariously popped upside down from the top of the door frame. Her hair blowing upside down in the cool evening breeze. "Care to join me?" She asked extending an arm out for Asami to grab.

"You know we have stair-,” Asami was caught off-guard by the ease in which Korra, hanging upside down by a fixture using her legs, was able to pull her up and over the railings above their balcony. They both landed lightly on a small lush garden created by spirit vines.

"Yeah but this is more fun,” Korra said cheekily.

Thick green vines ran up and around the side of the building, creating a private yet open green space that was only accessible to their apartment. Asami picked this place knowing that Korra would love coming up here to meditate.

Asami and Korra spent a long moment sitting on the rooftop spirit garden watching the fading sunlight be replaced by the vibrant city lights. 

While some parts of the city were currently almost in complete darkness, illuminated only by the golden aura of the new Republic City spirit portal, other sections of the city seemed to be doing their best to carry on as normal. For this reason Korra felt hopeful for the future of Republic City.

Occasionally a friendly spirit would appear near them and say hello. One spirit sat with them for a while. It enthusiastically spoke of all the positive changes the opening of the spirit portals has brought to the world. This brought Korra some much needed comfort. It jovially waved goodbye as it faded away and promised to visit often.

Eventually Korra and Asami's conversations turned to silence. They wordlessly sat with their fingers loosely intertwined, listening only to the distant hustle and bustle noises of Republic City night life.

Their silence was not because of lack of topics, as the two lovers never ran out of things to talk about, but because both of them were wordlessly appreciating how wonderful this moment felt. How at peace they both felt. How perfectly balanced they now were.

A low grumble brought them back to reality. Asami's head turned towards Korra, who returned her amused look with the crooked smirk she loved.

"You heard that, huh?"

"You worked so hard moving all our stuff in today. You must be hungry," Asami said understandably.

"Starving, actually." Korra said rubbing her stomach looking forlorn. Korra was always ready to eat.

Asami and Korra decided to make their way back into the apartment. “So, what's for dinner?" Korra asked excitedly.

"I was thinking of this restaurant nearby that serves authentic Fire Nation food - how's that sound? I say we order in tonight."

"Perfect! I haven't had fire nation food since I met with Firelord Zuko before I—”, Korra trailed off, feeling embarrassed again.

"Before you took a much needed break to heal from all the trauma you've been through these past few years?" Asami cautiously joked. "I know it's hard, but I try to stop feeling guilty about that. You did what was best for you in that moment and that’s OK."

Korra smiled, "Thanks. I'm still struggling to come to peace with it all, but I’ll get there."

"Take all the time you need," Asami said gently. "But don't you dare leave me without any warning again! I WILL hunt you down, Avatar." She jokingly threatened, while pointing a finger at Korra.

Korra laughed, "Easy there, Sato! I swear I'm not going anywhere without you ever again."

---

Asami and Korra decided to change into more comfortable clothes while they waited for their food delivery. 

Once in sleepwear, they sat on the only available piece of furniture in the entire apartment: a bare mattress thrown onto the living room floor by Korra despite the movers offering to bring it up, as they were contracted to do.

Korra heavily dropped onto the mattress on her back and Asami joined her, lying across the mattress sideways and looking longingly at Korra.

Their eyes met. Korra heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t sure if Asami knew just how beautiful and alluring she was. Everything she did was unintentionally - or maybe in some cases somewhat intentionally - seductive.

 “So, ah- what should we do while we wait? We don’t even have a radio hooked up yet…” Korra noticed how the silky fabric of Asami's nightgown hugged her curves. She tried to control where and for how long her eyes wavered over Asami’s body.  

 “I don’t even know where my pai sho set is in all these boxes,” Asami said sitting up and looking around. 

They were surrounded by boxes and luggage, most of them belonging to Asami. Korra always knew that Asami had a lot of stuff, but this move made her realize that even more. It took Korra one trip to carry all her own possessions into the apartment from the moving truck. She lost count how long it took to get Asami's assortment of beauty supplies, clothes, gadgets, tools, paperwork, and other things upstairs.

 Asami then stretched over and across Korra’s body to look in an open box near her. Korra’s breath caught in her throat as she shamelessly studied Asami’s figure reaching over her.

Asami rummaged in the box for longer than necessary. At that point they both knew the pai sho set was not in that particular box. 

Korra noticed Asami’s cheeks were a bit red now. Her breath quickened. Make your move now, Avatar! Korra thought to herself.

Before Korra could act, Asami finally stopped looking through the box and turned to Korra, “It’s uh-it’s not there.” Her whole body flush and warm, and her eyes expectant.

Without any thought and without any hesitation, Korra sat up and hungrily kissed Asami.