#thank you to the person who introduced me to this song among others in the Jimmy brainrot

[tubbytarchia]

Oh, I'll bow my head, I'll clip my wings I was never gonna make it anyway (x)

[itaipava]

— lewis hamilton as your boyfriend.

he is the type of boyfriend who loves taking you everywhere he goes; if you can (and want to) he will be taking you to all the races. also to his favorite restaurant, his favorite park, favorite cafe, favorite record store, the house of his family and friends. he loves your company and always wants you around.

he remembers almost everything you like and dislike: which additionally makes him amazing at buying gifts, among other things like; surprising you with your favorite coffee or food, making playlists with songs he knows you’ll enjoy, giving your flowers in your favorite color with a little note with a sweet and thoughtful poem or a sweet lyric from your favorite song.

he always remembers your schedule or when you’re free: and calls you at those times because he wants to hear your voice. if not calls, then he likes to leave little voice messages; he loves to talk to you everyday, specially to hear about your day or what you did or gonna do. he also likes to talk about his day or what day he’s going gome (and almost ruining the surprise when talking about the gift he bought you)

he’s a smooth talker: he always knows the right things to say and mean them; he’s very open minded and hope you are too. he likes to grow and learn with (and from) you. he’s very sincere, but he knows how to say things; so if you say or do something he doesn’t like or appreciate, he will talk about it with you in a kind way with the intention of helping you and recognizing your mistake. and he honestly appreciate so much when you do the same to him. like i said, he loves learning from you, so when you talk to him about your boundaries or something he did wrong, he always say “thank you for telling me how you feel”. he really wants to improve as a person, both for himself and for you.

he always seems to know what you’re feeling - he’s good at noticing small changes in your voice, expressions, habits, or mannerisms, so “i’m fine” lies don’t really work on him. but, if you don’t want to talk about it, he will respect you 100% and will make it clear that if you need him for anything or if you want to vent or ask for advice, you can call him at any time because he will always be there for you.

he respects you a lot; your ideas, opinions, tastes and styles. he never judges you or laughs at you for something you like and appreciate, quite the opposite, he encourages you to do the things you like and even tries to take part in your interests.

he thinks a lot about your future together; about what your house would be like when you live together and the things you will do together. about trips he wants to take with you, about holidays and festivals he wants to go to with you, about your family and friends, about children... literally everything; he can’t imagine his future without you, in everything he thinks, you are there by his side and that couldn’t make him more excited.

he is very cuddly and just soothing and comfortable to be around; he’s so sweet and lovely with you that always makes your heart race. he loves to wake you up with hugs and little kisses spreads all over your face; you always open your eyes with a soft smile, he smiles back and says “good morning, love.” he likes to sends you sweet, little texts throughout the day to check on you: always making sure you’re healthy and eating well. 

he loves showing you off to people; he introduces you to friends and family with a big smile on his face, his eyes shining as he says “this is y/n, my partner”. he is so proud to be your boyfriend and you can feel how much he loves you.

he’s just so in love with you: he loves looking at you and doesn’t stop when you look back or get shy. he loves taking candid photos of you and loves being your personal photographer when you need. his wallpaper is one of your pics that he loves so much or one of the two of you that represents how much you two love each other. he loves talking about you or mentioning you in conversations with friends and family, like “oh, y/n likes that!” or “do you know y/n? my part er?”

[miharuki]

hello!!! may i request second part of "once upon a time there a blue love"? thank you

(i think it would be cute if you included small moments between reader and Felix because they're cousins and I'm curious about how their relationships are and if reader told him about her and luka and their separation yk in episode where he was introduced as Argos. I'm also happy that you wrote moment from season 5 about Luka moving away because i can barely find any Luka x reader that catched up to season 5)

feel free to ignore this request and this suggestion. i just wanted to say that i appreciate your work and that you're doing great writings. take care!!!

I'm replying to these two messages, this one took a lot of work Thank you for liking my content, I worked hard on part 2 (3864 Words ) Again remembering that my English is not the best, it is not my original language ;P

Your requests are an order!

(angst, fluff at the end, Gabriel is still the worst person, Félix already knowing things without you needing to say it, Marinete and Adrien dating, season 5 spoiler)

(Part 1:)

𝕺𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖀𝖕𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝕿𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝕿𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖆 𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝕻𝖙 2

Once upon a time...

There was an elegant house with noble people They lived rich, rich in black hearts At the top of that mansion, there was a room, a room with a window, a window with a marvelous view, but it belonged to a lifeless room, a room where a person who loved too much was imprisoned, you, Oh, poor girl, she saw from her window everyone else being free, while she stayed and lamented not being good enough for her beloved, who is far away and with whom you can no longer converse, And all because her father is concerned about her status, so concerned that he didn't think twice before imprisoning his daughter, like Rapunzel in her tower.

"—And how is she doing?" Nino asked as he placed his hand on Adrien's shoulder, who was approaching the circle of friends.

—My father still says she's sick, and she doesn't seem to leave her room when I'm around," Adrien said, sighing sadly as he remembered how, after the events and Luka's trip, she was practically "isolated" in her room, which according to her father, claims she's too ill to leave. This raised suspicions among some friends, especially Marinette and Ayla.

"But we haven't seen her in a week!" Rose said, hugging Juleka, causing Adrien to sigh.

"I know, but from what my father told me, she got sick during one of the rehearsals and now needs to rest, especially because he doesn't want me to get sick too."

Now, this seemed even more suspicious to her friends. Marinette looked at her phone, seeing her friend's list of unanswered calls. She then glanced at Adrien, noticing how he seemed a bit down, and approached him. Despite her feelings for him, she placed her hand on his shoulder, making him look at her.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine," Adrien smiled at her, while everyone else agreed, not wanting to make the situation sadder."Have you tried calling her?" Ayla suggested, looking at her friend Marinette, who was frantically using her phone as if trying desperately to get in touch with you."No, my father told me she dropped her phone in one of the fountains while landing, and that's why she got sick"Something is definitely wrong.

Meanwhile, you were locked in your room, unable to leave your eternal "punishment," still not understanding why things were this way. You realized that your father was making you feel lonely again as you looked around the messy room. You got up from the bed and looked under it, spotting a decorated and locked box. Pulling it out, you removed a key that was attached to your necklace, along with another one that Luka had given you in the past. You used the key to unlock the box, and you smiled upon seeing the various items it held—a small Viperion plushie that Luka had won and gifted you during one of your encounters, numerous song lyrics, and a few other objects given by your friends, the ones your father hadn't confiscated.

You realized how much you resembled your past self, feeling empty, lonely, and above all, with no one to talk to or confide in. You closed the box and locked it again, tucking the key inside your shirt as you climbed back onto the bed. You clutched your blouse and felt the other necklace Luka had given you, hearing the door open behind you without even looking back.

"Your father told you that you will return to modeling again, and this time he expects you to comply," Nathalie said as she fiddled with her tablet."By the way, your dinner will be delivered to your room again. I hope you eat this time," Nathalie turned to leave without waiting for your response, closing the door behind her, and you could hear the door being locked. You sighed sadly, then walked over to the window, looking out at the landscape that thankfully hadn't been taken from you. You gazed at the distant Eiffel Tower and the starry night that adorned its background, thinking about how beautiful the night was despite being alone in your locked room. You prayed that Luka was okay.

"I've already talked to Luka about the situation," Juleka said as she joined her group of friends. Marinette, being the great planner she was, was trying everything to make things calmer. "He told me to send his regards to her and that as soon as she can, she should call him."

"I still find this very strange!" Marinette said as she got up from the sofa in her room and started pacing in circles. "I mean, after Luka's sudden departure, a few days later, Adrien says that (name) is sick? There's something wrong here."

"Look, this time I even agree, but it could also be true. Don't you guys remember it rained last week? And do you remember the photo in the magazine that day, right? It's clearly (name) in the rain posing, so obviously, she would get sick!" Ayla said as she tried to ease the situation.

"Yes, true, I saw it!" Rose said while standing beside Juleka, making her nod in agreement too.

"But still!" Marinette said before a hand was placed on her shoulder, making her look back to see her friend Ayla.

"Look, that's enough, Marinette. I think you should put this aside, especially since you have a date with Adrien tomorrow."

"Yes, that's true!" the girls said, making their friend Marinette blush, while she tried to speak but gave up.

Meanwhile, (name) put on her fakest smile as she continued to pose at certain locations. "Yes, perfect! Very good!" the photographer exclaimed as he continued taking photos, with you striking every pose and wearing a cute outfit. Finally, the photo shoot was over. "Break time," he said, and you sat down, your smile fading, returning to your sad expression. You spotted Nathalie approaching with her tablet.

"You're doing well, because of that, you can choose what you'd like to eat," she said, looking at her tablet without leaving your side.

"I-I think... I'd like some (your preferred food) from Dupain-Cheng Bakery, please," you said, looking at the ground before turning to Nathalie.

Nathalie gave you a quizzical look before sighing and going to her driver, who then got into the car. Nathalie returned to your side, looking at her tablet and tapping away. You let out a tired sigh, sitting down, swinging your legs and looking around to try to pass the eternal boring time. In the meantime, you glanced up at the blue sky, watching the birds fly by and catching a glimpse of a red and black blur streaking across the sky, heading somewhere. "Here you go, eat while you still have time," Nathalie said as her bodyguard and driver handed her the Dupain-Cheng Bakery bag containing the food you had requested.

"Thank you..." you said in a low tone, almost like a whisper, looking at the school and smelling the sweet scent of the bakery where your friend lived.

"Tomorrow is the Diamond Ball, so after your session today, we'll take you to the studio to order your dress. Your father wants you to look good," you only nodded, listening to Nathalie go over your schedule.

Since you returned to modeling, your father refused to let you be alone, so you were always accompanied by Nathalie, who, although she seemed fine, you couldn't help but glance at the equipment on her legs, wondering if something had happened to her.

"Come on, show me a look of comfort! A look of longing, as if you were reminiscing about seeing these flowers!" the photographer said as he asked you to hold a bouquet of red roses, sitting on a picnic blanket with flowers all around. "Not like that!" he said, looking at your expression. "Show more emotion! A little happiness! See how beautiful these flowers are!" he pointed at the bouquet. Looking at the bouquet, you saw a blue dragonfly land on a rose, and a faint memory of a garden you went to with Luka came back to your mind, making you miss him. You gave a small smile as you buried your face in the roses, inhaling their sweet and fragrant scent, smiling at the memory of the day he asked you out.

"Yes! Perfect! Very good! Keep going!"

"Would you like any roses? A ribbon or some colorful embellishment?" asked the seamstress as she took your measurements. "No need for color, just white will do. The outfit Mr. Agreste designed only requires adjustments elsewhere," Nathalie replied as she tapped on her tablet. You watched as the seamstress took your measurements to add to the dress. And of course, you were also looking at the shoes, which your father had also designed, but for some reason, he wanted everything to be perfect.

"Welcome, Mrs. Agreste," the guard said as he allowed you and your father to pass. Your gaze remained melancholic, though not enough for anyone to notice that you were sad; it simply showed that you didn't want to be there, which clearly you had no choice in. Sitting on a sofa, you waited and watched everyone there enjoy themselves, not letting on as some tried to talk to you or somehow get your attention. All you did was divert your gaze until you reached the soft white couch.

"You look sad, did something happen?" a voice asked, and you looked to see what appeared to be your brother."Hello to you too, Félix," you said as you closed your eyes and leaned back on the couch."You always know how to identify me no matter what," he said, almost laughing if he didn't see your tired expression. He approached and sat beside you."What happened? You're usually more lively," he said as he looked at you, prompting you to release a tired sigh.

"My father..." Félix sighed with his words, but before he could say anything more, looking at Gabriel in the distance, a voice came to your rescue.

"Hello, (name)!" You opened your eyes, seeing Kagami. You blinked as she sat down on your other side, and you straightened up. It had been a while since you talked to any of your friends."You haven't been to school anymore. I heard you were sick. Are you feeling better now?" You looked away, glancing at Gabriel in the distance, almost choking."Yeah, of course, I was kind of, you know, sick... you know, now I'm better!" You said, not wanting to know what kind of lie Gabriel had told Adrien for him to be able to tell the others like this.

Before Kagami could ask another question or say anything else, you suddenly got up.

"You know, I'm going to grab a drink or something to eat, be right back!" you said as you almost ran away. You didn't want to talk about anything, but what could you say? Tell them that your father didn't approve of relationships and that he had put you on indefinite punishment for lying, running away, and breaking the one rule he gave you? How could you talk about this situation?

Near the food area, you grabbed some sweets to try to occupy your thoughts and emotions. As you looked at the dance floor, you saw your cousin, who resembled your brother, dancing with someone. Not wanting to say anything, you simply ignored it.

You entered the bathroom after eating some sweets and looked in the mirror, observing your well-groomed and elegant figure, your perfectly done hair, and your fancy dress. This wasn't you. The only thing you saw that truly belonged to you was your necklace, which you had hidden under the dress. Pulling it out, you looked lovingly at your reflection in the mirror, seeing the necklace that Luka had given you.

"Luka..." You never stopped loving him, even though your father had locked you in your room. You never stopped missing him. Crouching in the bathroom while looking at your necklace, you caressed it, hoping that someday you would find him again.

"Adrien!" you heard someone shout, looking out of the plane window. You saw Marinette running towards the airplane stairs with Adrien following behind.

Ah yes, it seems you weren't the only one with a forbidden affair. You watched Marinette and Adrien kiss before the bodyguards separated them. A wave of déjà vu came over you when you saw this scene, which felt so familiar. You saw Adrien being dragged onto the plane and placed in his seat, looking out the window while crying.

You averted your gaze and saw the plane starting to move to take off. You lay down, holding your blouse and feeling the necklace underneath it. You prayed and wished that you could find Luka.

"This will be your room," Nathalie showed you the hotel room. You saw that the view was nice, but it wasn't anything special. It was just another room where you would be confined. You leaned on the balcony railing, looking at the horizon and feeling the wind tussle your hair.

"It's only for a few days..." you commented, resigning yourself to the situation, holding the necklace that Luka had given you once again. You sighed with sadness.

"Can I stay in the park for a while, please?" you asked your bodyguard, who was currently looking after you while you posed for photos since Nathalie had fallen ill and couldn't make it. You looked at him, waiting for a response, and he saw the sadness and emptiness in your eyes, so he nodded in sympathy. You smiled weakly as you hugged your bodyguard. "Thank you..." He just patted your head and pointed to a bakery nearby, and you nodded. He would be in the bakery while you stayed in the park.

You watched your bodyguard's back disappear as he entered the bakery, and you smiled as you sat on the park bench, feeling a sense of freedom being away from supervision. However, a sad sigh still hung on your face, as if you were feeling trapped.

"A smile suits you better," you choked when you heard someone speaking, a familiar voice. Looking at the owner of the voice, you couldn't believe what you were seeing.

"Luka..." you said softly in a whisper, getting up from the bench. Your hands trembled. The boy with blue-tipped hair smiled as he approached slowly. He was nervous, hoping it wasn't a dream. He hugged you when he was close enough, burying his head in your neck.

"I missed you so much!" he said as you returned the hug, feeling the tears you had held back for so long, also feeling the boy's tears staining your clothes.

"Luka!"

"You didn't call me anymore, I had no sign from you. I thought something had happened. But then Juleka told me you had gotten sick, but that's not true, is it?" Luka looked at you, asking for confirmation, but all you did was bite your lip and turn your face away. "Why are you hiding, love?" Luka asked as he placed his hand on your cheek, caressing it.

"I..." You didn't want to talk. You didn't want to burden Luka. He wasn't at fault. You didn't want to speak; all you wanted was to be with him now.

"Please, (name), you can tell me," he said as he hugged you, stroking your hair.

"It was him, wasn't it?" You lifted your gaze to Luka before turning away again.

"I won't force you if you don't want to..."

"Someone told my father about our relationship. He doesn't accept the fact that I'm dating someone who isn't 'famous' or a friend of my father's. He took away all my technology so I couldn't talk to you or our friends. He thinks me leaving was a terrible idea. I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault... it never was..." Luka placed his hands on both your shoulders.

"B-but! It was my fault. I didn't follow my responsibilities; I was careless, and I couldn't talk to you either... It's my fault... I just... my father, he just...!" Suddenly, an irritated expression crossed Luka's face.

"It doesn't matter!" You looked shocked at the boy as he wiped away your tears and put on a gentle smile.

"No matter what your father says or what the media wants, you've made me the happiest boy on the planet, and I've missed you so much since we were apart. You keep being the song that plays in my mind. I don't care if others see; I love you, (name)!" With that, Luka put his hand on your cheek, pulling your face closer to his, and finally kissed you. Not a peck or just any kiss—it was a kiss of love, one that showed how much you both loved each other. Amid that romantic moment, several people stopped to look at both of you.

"(Name) Agreste, Adrien Agreste's twin sister and Gabriel Agreste's daughter, kissing a boy in a public park." That's what people thought as they passed through the park, and some took photos.

"I love you, (name)," Luka said as he rested his forehead against yours.

"I love you too, Luka..."

"It seems that it wasn't enough," Mrs. Tsurugi commented as she listened to the latest news report that Gabriel was speaking in.

"Your children are being disobedient, unlike my daughter. Yours are out of control," Gabriel groaned in frustration as he looked at the screen, seeing the photo someone had posted. The photo itself wasn't particularly striking, just a girl taking a selfie with you and Luka kissing in the background. Similar photos like this ended up in some local newspapers, especially in the fashion industry, which only added to Gabriel's irritation. As if it wasn't enough to have to punish you, Adrien followed suit, and now just when it seemed like you were behaving, you go and kiss some random boy...

"It's not working... I think I'll have to proceed with the plan," Gabriel said as he looked at another screen, watching the cameras showing you, Adrien, and Kagami lying in white beds in a room that resembled a sanitarium.

"Let's begin..."

"(Name)!" Luka called out, running to you. You looked at him sadly, and he stopped, now concerned, as you turned.

"(Name), my love, what happened?" He placed a hand on your shoulder, seeing your back.

"Let's break up..." The boy's expression was shocked when he looked at you.

"What do you mean, (name)?" He seemed to want it to be a lie, hoping it was a lie. You had met again just a few days ago, and now you wanted to break up. Didn't you love him?

"(Name)?" You pulled away from the boy.

"Let's break up! I don't want to see you anymore!"

"(Name), if you can explain to me what's wrong, I'm sure we can find a way..." he said, trying to hold onto some hope.

"I don't like you, Luka. Why can't you understand that? I don't want this anymore!" You said angrily to the boy, who looked at you with sadness. He tried to reach out to you, but you simply pulled away until another random boy appeared, taking you away, leaving Luka shocked.

"(Name)....?"

Upon waking up, Luka realized it was just a dream. He brought his hand to his face, wiping away the tears, and sighed, feeling his heart calm down. He reached for his phone, checked the time, and saw his wallpaper—a happy photo of both him and you. He smiled, knowing it was just a nightmare, and that as much as it seemed real, it wasn't. You loved each other too much for something like that to happen.

He held onto the necklace you had given him on his birthday and looked at the ring on his finger—a ring that symbolized your relationship.

That is until...

"Bring back Adrien and Kagami!" Luka didn't know what had happened, but suddenly, everyone started getting akumatized. He knew it had something to do with the nightmare he had because his father and the secretary had reported having extremely heavy nightmares and couldn't stop thinking about them.

"Let's go! We need you!" Bunnix said, opening a portal for them to pass through.

"Thank you, Luka," you said as you leaned against him, watching your friends having fun in the pool at your house. You couldn't remember anything, and all Luka remembered was that suddenly, while fighting to break the akumatized rings, there was an explosion in the sky, and then he woke up, noticing you beside him. He wished it wasn't a dream now, and that you could be together.The look Marinette gave him was enough for him to know that you were now by his side, to stay.

"I should be the one thanking you," you looked at him confused, while he chuckled and gently kissed your lips, leaving both of your faces blushing and happy. "I'm lucky to be dating an amazing girl like you, (name)!"

"I love you, (name)!"

"I love you more, Luka!"

Applause came from some friends who were nearby, watching as you kissed again, but this time, it was to confirm something you both already knew— that you loved each other.

It took me 2 days to finish!!! And I finally finished!!!! Amen! I hope you liked it, if you want I can do another part :)

@midzuuumi

@famouschopshopgalaxy

[bluescluesposting]

Even though this blog is mainly Blue's Clues and Blue's Clues accessories, I want to give a special happy 30th anniversary shout out to two other Nick Jr. shows, I love- Gullah Gullah Island and Allegra's Window!

Both shows were part of a big revitalization for the Nick Jr. block in 1994, with mascot Face introduced about a month before. Blue's Clues also started development around this time, and can easily be considered the start of Nick Jr.'s "golden age".

Gullah Gullah Island was a really important show for so many kids. It was one of the first preschool shows to have a black family front-and-center, and put a strong emphasis on their culture. A big step in representation- and as a white kid growing up in a small town that's more diverse now, but SUPER white in the mid-90s, it was so important for me to see media featuring kids and families of different backgrounds. It was important then and still important today- I REALLY wish the Nick Jr. channel could still show reruns of it (and by that I mean, reruns at times when kids would actually be awake to watch it, not 3 AM), but at least it's on Paramount+ (knock on wood...if they took Allegra off who knows what classics are next). I bought all the DVDs of it a few years ago before they were discontinued and I'm proud to own the soundtrack album. The songs in this show are great, by the way- I think my favorites are "Friends and Family", "P-L-A-Y", and "Move Your Body". And the theme song might be the biggest ear worm theme in Nickelodeon history (rivaling only CatDog). You can find the entire series on the Internet Archive for free!

Allegra's Window might not have been as influential or important as Gullah Gullah Island- there were a LOT of puppet-based musical shows on in the 90s- but it was still a great show. It emphasized getting used to new situations (such as starting daycare), which can be hard for very young kids, and put a heavy emphasis on music in general- which actually was pretty important as this was right around the time a lot of elementary schools were starting to cut music programs as a cost-cutting maneuver. This show had SUCH a fun aesthetic and I loved the puppet and costume designs (I've cosplayed as Lindi before and I'm pretty sure Encora was an influence on my own personal fashion style). Every Jumbo Pictures show has always had such a fun but calming feel to it. Not just Allegra, but Doug, PB&J Otter, and 101 Dalmatians: The Series as well. The songs are also really good and feature a lot of Broadway-based talent writing them (as well as the human actors performing some of them!). Sadly this one slipped into obscurity; it wasn't reran as often as Gullah Gullah Island and ended abruptly during production on S3 thanks to Jumbo Pictures getting bought by Disney. Paramount+ also took it down last year for unknown reasons (among all the Nick content taken off, it was the only one over 15-20 years old- most of the removals were from the late 2000s to now), but the entire show is on the Internet Archive.

So happy 30 years to two great shows! And once again, I miss Nickelodeon Studios a lot. The shows from the Florida studio just had such a specific feel to them no matter the show or target audience (I get the same feel I get from AW and GGI that I do from Clarissa Explains It All or Legends of the Hidden Temple). I'm so glad to have grown up with this era of Nick.

[ceescedasticity]

Unforsaken, 11c

(All sections on tumblr)

(AO3, lagging behind but more polished)

The swans finally approach them by abruptly landing among them when they're halfway done setting up camp. A horse spooks. Zena trips backwards and nearly ends up under an ox, but Elrohir catches her.

After a startled pause, Glorfindel starts, "Greetings. I understand—"

The swans turn abruptly into young men. They have pale gray hair and light gray eyes. Their features are identical, but one has a faded scar across his face.

"Eluréd, Elurín," Celeborn says warmly. "I am your mother's uncle Celeborn. I am so glad to finally meet you."

(Celeborn left Beleriand before the Dagor Bragollach and returned only during the War of Wrath.)

(He has never even seen them before, and has no idea which of them is which.)

(In fact, the only person present who has seen Elúred and Elurín in person before is, alas, Maglor. It was only seeing, and only for a moment. He was grieving and dealing with the aftermath of an ugly battle and trying to make sure Caranthir's second-in-command didn't desert with the remainder of Caranthir's former followers, and he erroneously assumed that any question involving small children could wait. He has no idea which of them is which, either. Happily. Because imagine his knowing when Celeborn doesn't.)

The silence has become awkward and Celeborn is visibly trying to choose his next steps when the one with the scar speaks. "No one has called us that since we lost our mother."

"You can call me Alphsîr and him Alphlîn," the other one adds.

(Swan-stream and Swan-pool.)

(Just to increase the awkwardness, Maglor can't help but note it's the right pattern to be names of swan-ships of Alqualondë. In fact, now that he thinks of it there was a Swan-pool — possibly a Swan-stream, too, but he was a passenger on a ship named Swan-pool for a short trip to Tol Eressëa with some Teler musicians to play under the stars. There'd been a discussion about which swan-ships had the loveliest songs which still occasionally haunts him.)

Celeborn makes introductions — slowly, cautiously.

"Your great-nephews, Elladan and Elrohir."

"Legolas Thranduilion — I believe you met Thranduil a few times?"

"Glorfindel of Gondolin, who was returned to life in Eldamar. He met your father and your sister there, if you have any questions?"

(Apparently not just now.)

"Khitwê and his sister Risyind are from the Avari realm of Pelndoru. They are cousins to your sister's husband."

(Well, not wrong.)

"Zuste, Zena, and Dyn are kin to Khitwê and Risyind, and also peredhil."

(Not wrong, exactly…)

"Gimli son of Gloin is a great friend of Legolas, and a hero of the last war against Sauron. His people are staunch allies. You can trust him just as you would Legolas."

(If anyone notices how bewildered Gimli is by that glowing recommendation they don't comment on it.)

Celeborn pauses for a moment.

"…These orcs who are helping us are Turgon of Gondolin, Sharlinnu of Pelndoru, and Whiterot of Doriath."

(Okay, Maglor knew this was going to be awkward, but surely not more awkward than the orcs?)

"And over there are the Sons of Fëanor, Maglor and Celegorm."

(For some reason not mentioning that Celegorm is also an orc makes that infinitely worse.)

After a pause, Alphlîn says stiffly, "Thank you for introducing us."

After another pause, Alphsîr says, also stiffly, "Caraxitári says we must learn to fight alongside you. Who will teach us?"

"Caraxitári is the Queen of the Geese," Alphlîn clarifies.

Well that's not an ominous name at all.

"That depends on how you want to fight," Celeborn says.

"We were going to fight like the Geese do," Alphsîr says. "But geese have teeth. Swans don't have teeth."

He sounds somewhat disgruntled.

Some people might be put off by these attitudes but Celeborn is made of sterner stuff. "It is… a little late for you to take up the sword, or the bow if you have never used it, but we have some spears. I would be happy to help you with that."

"If you want to fight with your inheritance of Melian's power, I can try to guide you," Glorfindel says. "My power was only lent to me, and is diminished now, but it is not entirely dissimilar."

(If they want to learn actual Songs of Power, Glorfindel could try or Celeborn could try or even Elladan and Elrohir could try. None of them could give as good a lesson as Maglor. No one is going to suggest Eluréd and Elurín — whatever names they're using — learn from Maglor. No one wants to suggest they get substandard lessons, either.)

"Can the Geese not show you how to fight like swans do?" Elladan asks. "I mean — obviously we can't, but I've seen swans do some damage. Does… Caraxitári think blunt force would not serve?"

This actually draws out a small smile from Alphlîn. "She thinks, not as well as other things we could do. But thank you."

After another long and awkward pause, Glorfindel says, "Well, are you more comfortable with wings or without?"

"…With," Alphlîn says.

"Then we should probably try to work with that."

[sixty-silver-wishes]

2 am but . god I love shostakovich so much thank you shostakovich for existing and being brilliant and nervous and stubborn and determined and terrified and compassionate and impulsive and hilarious and angry and human and everything you were

thank you for trio 2. even though it wasn't written for me. thank you for the cello sonata and violin concerto 1 and lady macbeth and all the symphonies and quartets and the preludes and fugues and rayok and the song cycles

thank you for introducing me to sollertinsky and weinberg and gogol and ustvolskaya and schnittke and gubaidulina and chekhov and dostoevsky. and evtushenko, whose family gave me a book of poetry because of you

thank you for surviving. even when it hurt. even when you lost friends and the whole world had its eyes on a fragile man with two children and a piano and a trembling cigarette between your teeth, and a life to live and hands that shook and a packed suitcase and the fact that elmira nazirova said you hardly ever conducted your own music because you were terrified of all those eyes watching you from behind. thank you for knowing you had to create, to laugh and cry and live. and for letting me laugh and cry and live with you 48 years after you died

thank you for introducing me to your language, because I studied a whole language just to get to know you better, and there aren't many other people I would do that for

thank you for introducing me to people who are now among my closest friends. you never knew me, or them, but our lives are different now because of you

thank you for all the times I read the news and was fucking terrified and I put on your music and knew that as horrible as things were in the last century, there were good people, and there were good people throughout history, and there are good people now, and there will always be good people, and then I felt a little less afraid

thank you for all the books and music and photographs and footage and little pieces of you I've gathered over the years, in hopes that each bit of evidence could let me see you a little more

thank you for all the writing I've done about you, and how much you've inspired me, both as an artist and as a person, and how you'll never know it but dammit, us researchers aren't supposed to talk about historical figures like this. you're dead, and we must be credible and objective and distanced.

but today, I don't think it hurts to say that you changed my life.

Drink a toast of Kakhetian no. 8 with Ivan Ivanovich for me, if they have Georgian wine wherever you are.

I'm glad you existed.

[lgcmedia]

i’m hwang minah, aka “rockwithvna” in pixid’s ‘among us’ episode! my first bias was aj but now my current (and always has been a bias wrecker) is haru! i know some of the etervals were curious about the behind the scenes so i wanted to make this post to reveal (hehehe) what i can.

when we had to introduce ourselves in the chatroom i was determined to find the fake eterval because i know i’m not it!! i’ve been a fan since future dreams season 3 so i should have enough credibility, right??? but i realized that most of them were new etervals, which made it really hard to tell! they could get away with saying that they don’t know a particular fan joke due to them being new…

during introductions, i trusted jiholuvr103 ( HARU ) because they seemed to know quite a lot about lee jiho especially before he became a v&a member! but when the staff asked us to select two people who we thought would be possible fake fans, i was debating quite a lot especially when they were expressing their reasons why they loved v&a. i wasn’t 100% convinced that the other three were etervals but they made us pick so i chose candysugarpop03 ( YUSHIN ) and 4etervaty ( MAXIMILIAN ) because they were a bit too quiet in the chat (but i couldn’t believe two of them picked me as the fake eterval!!)

then came the fangirling… ㅜㅜ which i will forever be embarrassed about… ㅜㅜ like they showed in the episode, the staff member asked us to express our love for v&a and thinking that i was communicating with primarily etervals, i posted a long message about how much i loved v&a and haru… only to find out in the end that agito read it!!! that was so embarrassing to read, ahhhhhhhh… i regret my actions even more when the staff told us to vote one more time and because versusversusversus ( JIHO ) couldn’t choose a bias (how can you not have one all this time if you've been a fan for 100 days???) i chose them thinking they said that to hide their true identity… oh the regretful decision i made that day. ㅜㅜㅜㅜ

i can’t reveal the exact conversation we had during that time that wasn’t included in the episode, but after finding out that i was voted the fake fan and everyone’s identities, my reaction was just like what was in the video! the agito members were so nice and sweet too (just like how their songs have gotten me through some hard times). i was too flustered and embarrassed to properly take a photo with them but they didn't seem to mind and helped take one really good pic! now knowing what happened, i can see parts of their personalities in the way they talked in the group chat. i’ll continue supporting them forever and thank you agito for a once in a lifetime experience (that is now memorialize in the form of an 'among us' video)!!

[ + / - ] thank you op for telling us your reactions! when i watched it, i couldn’t stop laughing at how the agito members reacted when you suddenly posted that long message!! if i were you, i wouldn’t be able to properly type a coherent message about how much i love the group! [ + / - ] you sure that this wasn’t scripted?? i think they filmed this episode to make it seem like the agito members are nice, but they probably found it so strange filming something like this…  [ + / - ] as a fan of this show, this is my fave episode from them! i’m a casual eterval (although my biases are in versus and not in agito) and i’ve always wondered how much the v&a members know about us and whether they know any of our inside jokes!

▷ load next 15 comments? 

( a/n: since all of the agito members submitted their info for this episode, they will be rewarded with +5 VARIETY and +3 NOTORIETY for their participation! )

[th3-0bjectivist]

Dear listener, this will be my final musical post of this year and you know I’m gonna end it on an eternal banger. Godspeed to ALL my followers on Tumblr, happy holidays! Let’s have a great, and positive 24'. Fret thee not, I will be back with more tuneskis next year. That said, I’ve been commenting on classical music for the end of 23'. If you’re just joining me on my page I alluded to Bach and Vivaldi in previous weeks… along with a generous peppering of pejorative comments when I was describing myself listening to modern radio. Modern radio was the REASON I started listening to classical music again this year. Why? Because radio BLOWS. Actually, the programming blows and modern music SUCKS. Classical music on the other hand, for all its technological limitations and despite its clear crow’s feet, is at least quality music. Timeless even! So, for Christmas this year, let’s focus on the excellence of execution for music in the 1800’s, Johannes Brahms. Inventor of great individual and collectivized musical works, and the final exhibition in my three-part 23' classical showpiece. At the end of 24', join me for the likes of Mozart and Beethoven, but for now, smash play and enjoy the uniquely holiday and dream-time piece above. Recognize it? Thought you might, dear listener. For those of you who stay and read my little commentaries on these musical posts I really appreciate it. When you read them, you’re spending time with me in a way. Thanks for your time!

For his time, the mid to late 1800’s in Europe, Johannes Brahms became the tip of the spear in Germanic symphonies and sonatas. Writing something like two hundred songs in his lifetime, he started off in his young teens as a naturally talented pianist and played in inns and brothels around the docks of Hamburg to help his family generate money. For such humble beginnings, he also began composing his own music and performing concerts with other notable musicians such as Eduard Reményi. Through further networking, Brahms became closely associated with other virtuosos and composers like Joseph Joachim and Robert Schumann. Schumann helped boost Brahms’ career when his compositions were featured in a media periodical called Neue Zeitschrift für Musik. Now, I’m not gonna lie, this guy is not my favoite composer and if I’m being 100% honest, I think his symphonies are a little boring. A lot of it is just too lite and plodding for my taste. Don’t get me wrong, the man was a God among normal humans, but when it comes to personal taste, I prefer orchestral symphonies by the likes of Bach and Vivaldi. However, where I think Brahms’ truly excelled was in his original solo piano works, as he was truly a master of vastly intricate mechanisms and capable of very technical applications with music. He invented harmonies with an almost entirely different kind of emotional resonance than other contemporary classical artists; often using instruments to create a warm and introspective noise rather than a lot of the LOUD AND GALIVANTING classical music that you can find a lot of in the 1700’s. In the 1800’s, the tail end of the Romantic period, concerts and festival overtures were the Taylor Swift venues of the time, and the music of Brahms sold BIG in an international way. He also held the Masters of Composition that came before him in high regard, attempting to cling hard and fast to the idea of ‘absolute music’ (the idea being that music should carry no specific or primary meaning) like composers before him. This conservative view of music put him at odds with composers like Wagner, who wrote program music (introducing literary ideas, a subjective drama, an actual scene, etc). Brahms never married but had a few flings. He was known as being prickly and reserved with adults, but kind-hearted and warm around children. He also died of liver carcinoma in Vienna in the late 1800’s after nearly three decades serving as a musical director, principal conductor, educator and perhaps one of the most influential European composers of all-time.

I should also be diligent and let you know that his most concentrated and vital works came along after he began visiting Vienna around the 1860’s. His mother passed in 1865, and he afterward created German Requiem, which is widely considered to be a mass for the living. His works such as Hungarian Dances, Violin Concerto, Wiegenlied (also known as Lullaby or the Cradle Song), and his Piano Quintet were all generated in his later years from 1860 to 1885 or so, gimme a break folks I’m not a historian. It’s all about subtle movements with Brahms, or just his harmonic movement in general. On Christmas this year, or every year, consider coming back to this post and clicking on the Best of Brahms. Spend time and mend with family folks! One more musical post and then I need a long break. Enjoy! Image source: https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/latest/best-looking-composers-musicians/johannes-brahms/

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — March 26-April 1

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This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

03-26 → Gong Jun’s studio posted a douyin of his photoshoot for Weibo Night. Caption: “The shadow of the tree shakes, the boss @ Gong Jun Simon leans on the railing for a nap~” BGM is Write This Down by Soulchef.

→ Gong Jun filmed an episode for Go Fighting! season 9. It seems he’s going to be a regular again!

→ Gong Jun posted a douyin of his photoshoot for Weibo Night. Caption: “Shining, bright, ‘on’ the stage.” BGM is Edo was Iwamizu. 

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted another video of the photoshoot for Weibo Night. Caption: “Boss @ Gong Jun Simon walks among the chaos, shining brightly.” BGM is $hake by BMackk.

03-27 → Sina Entertainment posted Gong Jun’s Weibo Night interview. Caption: “This year’s Actor with the Most Attention @ Gong Jun Simon introduces his red carpet look, saying that he just wanted to be ‘the brightest’ He thanks you for your love and praise for his good singing, saying that the teacher (laoshi) commented on his singing ability as ‘all emotion and no skill’ 😂; [He] and @ [Liu Yuning] collaborated on ‘Neon Sweetheart’, revealing that the other party asked him to collaborate on the song. 🥰” 

→ Gong Jun’s Instagram reached one million followers.

→ Gong Jun did more filming for Go Fighting! season 9.

→ Gong Jun posted a commercial he did for Fresh. This was reposted by Fresh who also posted it themselves along with a photo ad.

→ Gong Jun reposted a post by Zhou Yutong, his costar from Begin Again, for her new drama Nothing But You. Added caption: “Watch Liang You’an (character’s name) tonight at 7:30 👀”

→ QuelleVous posted an exposé about Hewitt, the person who acted as the body double for the Instagram’s driving range footage last June (and likely in a number of other photos / videos). Hewitt deleted his exposed Xiao Hong Shu accounts in the days following. Followups: [1] [2] [3] [4] (warning for lots of feet)

03-28 → V magazine posted a short promotional video featuring Gong Jun.

→ The Instagram posted seven photos of “Zhang Zhehan”. 

→ Gong Jun reposted a video from Chen Ruoxuan for the latter’s new drama Pledge of Allegiance. Added caption: “See Lu Zheng (character’s name) today” Fan Observations: Unless I’m missing something (please do let me know), Gong Jun and Chen Ruoxuan have never worked on a show together. Pledge of Allegiance’s Chinese title is 山河之影 (Shadows of Mountains and Rivers), which shares its first two characters with Word of Honor’s (山河令).

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted a video of behind the scenes footage from the recent BEAST ad campaign. Caption: “Warmth of the sun, @Gong Jun Simon sees you in the spring ––poetry.” BGM is Ble (Without U) by Seto.

03-29 → Fresh posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Charlotte Tillbury posted their photo of Gong Jun getting ready for Weibo Night to their Instagram.

03-30 → Gong Jun’s studio posted a promotional still from Fox Spirit Matchmaker to celebrate the show reaching one million reservations. Caption: “With a sincere heart, small love can achieve great love, looking forward to seeing @ Gong Jun Simon soon!” 

→ The Fox Spirit Matchmaker Weibo account likewise posted another promotional still featuring both Gong Jun and his costar Yang Mi.

→ Huang Youming, the actor who played Ye Baiyi, posted a douyin of himself and an image of the character with Tian Wen as the BGM. Caption: “Ask the flowers, ask the leaves, the color is just right  Life is joyful and bitter, how many springs are left?” (lyrics from Tian Wen) Fan Observation: The two images of Ye Baiyi stacked on top of each other are slightly different—the bottom is the shot from the show, while the top has been edited for some reason.

→ 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

03-31 → A Twitter space was held to go over recent events, specifically the song releases, last week’s Golden Shield incident, and Hewitt. [recording] [written notes]

→ Addition 04-06: Fresh posted a promotional video featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted a video of clips from his trip to Thailand. Caption: “Some moments when Boss @ Gong Jun Simon was filming around the island 📸 Recording everything clean and warm in the camera. Safety tips: When going out, be vigilant, safety first~” BGM is It Hurts by STEPTRO and 开心往前飞 by VIVI, the latter of which Gong Jun previously used it in a douyin on 2021-05-19.

04-01 → As an April Fool’s Day tradition, various fansites posted photos of celebrities different from their usual one(s). One fansite, 金白开, posted an (old) photo of Zhang Zhehan, leading their username to trend on the entertainment hotsearch; there are suspicions that the hotsearch was bought, given that the fansite is for a pretty unknown celebrity. The fansite deleted the original post, posted an apology, then proceeded to post slander. 

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted his schedule for April: 04-12/13 variety show recording; 04-16 livestream; 04-17 magazine shoot; 04-24 to 04-26 variety show recording; 04-27 Hogan event; 04-29 Louis Vuitton event in South Korea.

→ Gong Jun posted fourteen photos from his trip to Thailand. This was deleted then reposted because he accidentally geotagged it. Original caption: “Riding my little motorbike” Repost caption: “Out of stock” His studio reposted this with the added caption: “New postcard delivery~ Playing in the mountains and bamboo rafts, the boss @ Gong Jun Simon has a wave of spiritual exchanges with new partners🐘”

(Happy April Fool’s Day)

→ Bluebird posted a thread explaining that she got in contact with the promotion director of Fairchild, a Canadian radio station that played one of the Zhang Sanjian songs, about a fake voice clip of Zhang Zhehan that had supposedly been played by them. (previously discussed under 12-28) The promotion director had no knowledge of this voice clip and confirmed that it had not been played by them.

Additional Reading: → Flora’s daily fan news → Harry is putting together a video of well wishes for Zhang Zhehan’s birthday, please consider participating! → (Forgot to mention this last week whoops) I’ve started a YouTube channel for uploading Zhang Zhehan’s old videos because I got annoyed at constantly having to go to whalers’ channels to watch things. Feel free to request videos, but do note that this channel is low on my priorities list.

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[jmkho]

The One Where They Did An Album Lore Podcast

Summary: The boys decide to talk about some of the lore behind TBAGG.

Words: 3k LMAO NOT 14K IM AN IDIOT

Warnings: swearing, drinking, talking over each other, gums smacking lol, questionable lore,

Extra note: Thanks to @starcatcherkiszka for sending me a msg asking if I could write this. And also to the OP of the picture that was attached about the guys doing a lore podcast. I tried my best to add some crack into it but also squint hard at what I've written about the songs these are just notes I myself have come up with after listening to each song and looking over the lyrics a lot to try and write something lol so don't take this seriously it's just ramblings of a mad woman.

“Well boys, I think we should at least introduce what we are doing.” Danny spoke into the mic as he looked around to the others. He smiled. To say he was excited was an understatement. 

“Well, I think as the best speaker among us…well, yeah, all of us, I think I, the ever so eloquent, Josh, should, well , you know, should tell the people, the fans, what we are doing today,” 

Sam, who was sat opposite him, opened his mouth to say something to that, but Jake beat him to it. “Go ahead and explain.”

Sam turned his head to look at Jake as if to say, "Do you want to be here forever?" Jake just sat smiling at his twin, totally aware of the burning look into his face, but couldn’t give a shit. “Josh has a magical way with words that will really get this podcast set off, so I think he should be the one to let everyone know.” Jake’s gruff voice broke out again.

Josh cleared his throat. “Well, today we are going to take a balls deep dive into the magical, the mysterious lore of The Battle of Gardens Gate.” 

Jake closed his eyes at the sound of ‘balls deep’ but went with it.

“Exactly! And today we are ——-“ Sam’s voice suddenly went quiet. Josh was moving to look around the mic in front of him to his little brother. Sam decided to move his head as if to speak AROUND the mic to Josh.

Jake pointed a finger to the mic to remind Sam, who just moved, and carried on talking about whatever he was going on about. “—so to say that it took an interesting turn is true.” 

“So guys, shall we go from song to song in order on the album?” Danny asked.

The rest all began to mumble out answers, talking over each other, but he got a collective ‘yes’.

“So, Heat Above. Where shall we start with that one?” Jake smiled into the mic, looking around.

“Well, the opening song comes across as a pleading, right? So, then it moves onto talking about how life ————-“ Sam’s voice went again as he moved his head, looking Josh dead in the eye but was nowhere near the mic. 

Josh laughed. “Sammy, you gotta talk INTO that round thing in front of you and stop leaning to talk AROUND IT TO SPEAK AT ME.”

Sam stopped and leaned back into his chair. “Right, to me, the song means living through the bad, like pushing through it despite bad things still happening around it, you can still live through it an experience good. And to ME, there’s also something with change in the song.”

“What makes you think of change?” Danny asked.

“Well Daniel, by ignoring the bad and ‘the fire burning around’ you can still live, and I guess that makes people make a change to their life. So, the character in the song wants to change above anything else."

The guys all smiled around at each other. 

“Yeah, I agree with Sammy on that view. It seems like a great perspective to have, almost as if the person within the song is putting a stop to the bad things happening to them, like war, to live how they want to.” Jake added.

“This is a great idea. I just wanted to throw that out there into the abyss of the listeners out there. Thank you for asking us to...well, I guess talk about the album’s meaning more and what’s happening.” Josh smiled into the mic with a big grin.

“Next song, My Way Soon.” Jake cleared his throat. “I think this song is quite obvious. We only have one life, and I think this song, in particular, was written to express that. We have so much freedom and so much we can do that we should just do what we want and explore what we want and I think that’s why people, sort of, well love that song, it’s a sense of I’m free and I’m going to do just that.”

Danny nodded to him and leaned into the mic. “I think Jake said everything. There isn't a lore behind the song, story wise, but you can use this song to express your freedom of wanting to, well make your own story."

Someone burped right into the mic after that, which broke the magical moment Danny's comment made.

“Broken Bells is another type of story, I guess you can say?” Sam took a sip of his drink as he looked at Jake, who nodded.

“Yeah the idea of this world was one where the world that’s within this album has people that are forced to fight when they don’t want to, there’s destruction, loss of people, loss of nature, and that-that really stuck with me when writing some of these songs. I wanted to tell a story, a film even.” Josh added

“The person in the story talks about not being able to see stars, doesn’t want to sleep, but still holds hope for the world and themselves.”

“Yeah, there seems to be a lot of hope within this song-“

“I love this song” All three brothers spoke over each other at the same time. And were weirdly having 3 different conversations with each other at the same time.

Danny just sat there looking at each brother until he leaned into the mic. “Built By Nations.”

That stopped them. They all looked at Danny, blinked, and all went “Ah yeah…” and then started talking over each other again.

“WARRRR!” Josh suddenly yelled, clawing at air as he held his hands up.

Sam pulled a face and then commented how the person in the story doesn’t want to follow his brothers but does so because he’s a coward and doesn’t have any pride to do what he wants.

Jake interjected that the person in the song was merely not really a brother but more of a soldier who was bounded to the others because of being forced to fight. Thus making them brothers.

"We're all brothers." Josh said quietly into the mic as Jake and Sam started going on about the soldiers. Sam lifted his cup and waved it about a few times as he spoke, not caring if he spilled any on Jake.

Danny listened to all three of them ramble on at the same time. “What about the line, Trouble gets so loud? What does that represent?”

Josh laughed. “I think us.” He lifted his shoulders in jest. “That’s the war that’s happening. And the wounded warrior can be taken in two ways, I guess, I mean if you want to take it two ways-“ Josh rambled on about how people can interpret songs while Sam’s attention went to the snacks he brought in.

He actually forgot he had them but thought bringing in something to munch would be his best idea of the day.

He tore into the plastic wrapper, making a loud rustling sound before he shoved some Oreos in his mouth.

Jake laughed, letting his head hang as Sam began to chew loudly, directly into his mic.

“I wish I could get deeper with your guys….um, whey-hey to that.” Josh mumbled into the mic, barely making what he said even recognizable before finishing it with a giggle. “But, Sammy has decided to get peckish and near enough, EAT the mic.” 

Sam chewed, looking at him. “Wmhwat?” 

“Your chewing into the mic so all the listeners can hear is your gums smacking.” Danny spoke up and stifled a laugh. 

Sam looked at the drummer, then down at the packet on the table. He wordlessly picked them up and offered them to everyone, still chewing. 

“Anyway! So the wounded warrior can be taken as in this, person, this character we are following, that he has been wounded in war but also maybe that he wounded because he no longer the person he once was because of the war.” Josh sat back with a smile, crossing his arms as the rest of them all broke out with comments.

“I never thought of it that way before.” Danny commented with a smile. “That’s actually an awesome way to look at this character. Is it an actual war that’s happening or one within.”

“This is getting really fucking deep, and I wasn’t ready for this type of discussion. We should have gotten drinks.” Sam took a large gulp of his drink as soon as he stopped talking.

“You have a drink in your hand right now.” Jake lifted his own to take a sip as his younger brother nodded, “True but it would have been better with something harder,”

They all started talking over each other again, Sam was talking about which drink would go with his Oreos as he sat there shaking the packet at the twins. Jake was laughing, telling Sam and the listeners that drinking harder stuff would just make them talk all over each other, despite that was what they were doing anyway. And Josh broke out with his own rendition of, Edwin Starr’s ‘War’.

“-HUH! GOOD GOD Y’ALL!”

Danny knew he has to try and get their attention BACK. He unemotionally leaned forward to the mic. “Age of Machine.” 

That didn’t work as good as he hoped. They merely stopped for 3 seconds and then broke out again.

“-humans grow and destroy things it’s about how humanity-“ Jake was getting into the zone, leaning more towards the mic than he was before. 

“Take a step back from what we think we’re wired into and realise-“ Josh was waving one hand around as he spoke.

“But then he told me he wanted to go bowling instead so I said-“ Danny had no idea what the fuck Sam was talking about.

“TEARS OF RAIN.” He yelled this time. 

Sam slapped a hand down on the table. “NWO DIS WILL BE GUD TWU TWALK ABWOUT!” Oreo crumbs flying out of his mouth as his spoke.

“What gets me about this song is that I never sing this live. I know for a fact I’ll over think that fucking high note and crack out.” Josh mused for a moment.

“Yeah, but you scream your balls off for that long ass note in The Weight of Dreams with no effort everytime, so maybe, get your head out of whatever you think about, and just scream your balls off when singing this.” And with that, Sammy lifted his cup and cheered his older brother, who sat there looking at him.

A soft smile faint was on Josh's lips. “Ah yes, I’ll just, as Sammy said so delicately, scream my balls off, next time.”

Sam nodded as if anyone could see him. 

“Bringing us back to the song and not focusing on Josh’s balls for a moment.” Jake cut in but got a bark of a laugh down the mic from his twin. “This song can almost have a connection to Heat Above.”

“I get what you mean, with the rain?.” Danny agreed. 

“So, the people within the world are begging for rain. The land is hot, it's just getting worse and all they want is rain. But could this also be about change?”

“You mean like the weather changing?” Sam asked.

“I think I know what Jake’s getting at.” Danny let out. “I guess the rain can be used as a metaphor almost? Like a metaphor for change. They want things to change as it will make their world different since, apparently, there is no rain. There are so many ways songs on this album can be taken and that is literally, like….you’re following a form of story through some songs, or you can take it as metaphors and apply them to even yourself. To your own life and story.” 

Josh grinned widley. “By joe isn’t he dandy?!” He let out in an English accent which Jake joined in with. “Yes, just splendid.”

Danny beamed a smile. 

“Speaking of rain, Stardust Chords.” Sam spoke way too close to the mic at that time, which made Danny wince. 

“I don’t know how that connects to rain, but okay.” 

“From what I get from that song is that the garden has been cut down, nothing is there, it’s all done and everything has fallen. Next song.” 

“Okay….One of our, well, every song is much loved, but you know what I mean. I mean, when we released-“ Josh went on a ramble again as Sam sipped more of his drink and shoved more Oreos in his mouth. Jolting forward a little when one hit the back of his throat, making him splutter out into a coughing fit.

Jake began to laugh manically because of how much he was going on. “Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? Letting me on one of these? I should run for, for office with how well I speak. Don’t you agree?” He looked around the booth to the other members as he broke out in a loud laugh while Sam's coughs were calming down.

“What Josh was trying to say was, The Broken Bells.” Danny saved the day again.

The boys all started talking over each other AGAIN.

“This is where that master is kind of mentioned-“ Sam spoke to Danny this time, gesturing with his hand at the mic as if it was the master.

“—-seeds mean growth, we need to replenish and keep growing to keep going-“

“What I liked that was the fact freedom was promised if they fought in this war, but was he telling them the truth-“

Danny couldn’t take it anymore, they were running out of time for their podcast slot.

“QUICK FIRE ROUNDS GO! LIGHT MY LOVE!” He yelled again

The brothers all looked at him and almost began to panic.

“Er, er, er….shit!” Josh groaned.

“Love. It’s about love. Finding love, having love, having someone make you feel love? Right?” Jake asked also getting in a panic.

“Also Danny wrote it!” Sammy threw in as he began to chug his drink as if he was being timed for drinking.

“CARAVEL!” 

“A BOAT!! EXPLORING NEW PLACES” Jake quickly yelled.

-“A SEXY SOUNDING BOAT!” Sammy yelled back.

“How can a boat sound sexy-“ Jake laughed, but then Danny cut him off

“THE BARBARIANS!”

“HAVING ENOUGH OF FIGHTING! AM I A WILLING PERSON IN THIS OR DOING IT CAUSE I’M TOLD? BESIDES I’VE DONE WHAT I’VE NEEDED. OUR HOME HAS FALLEN FROM THE WAR. BYE.” Josh yelled, screwing his eyes closed, hands clenched. 

“We should play that song more just FYI.” Jake commented and everyone made a collective noise of agreement. 

“WE SHOULD! TRIP TO THE LIGHT FANTASTIC!”

“Think it’s about traveling amongst the stars, going through time, to live, to experience-“ Sammy was actually getting into giving a deep answer until Josh cut him off.

“I vote doing the ramramram bit again in a new song.” 

No one said anything they just looked at Danny as if to say, “yell the next one.”

“Oh, right.” He coughed. “THE WEIGHT OF DREAMS!”

“Ah the ball screaming song” Josh laughed and lifted his shoulders again in jest.

“This song is actually quite deep.” Jake smiled into the mic. “The mention of gold can be seen as exactly what it is, something people want, something people need to survive but then having things such as gold, money, whatever, can actually destroy you just as much as you think it will, well I guess, fix or help you?”

Sammy nodded and pointed a finger to him. “Yes.” They all looked at him as if waiting for him to say more, but he didn’t.

“Um, I guess that’s it, right? Did we make it on time?” Josh asked, looking around for a clock.

“Yeah we have a few minutes to spare, but that was quite tight.”

Jake barked out a laugh, throwing his head back.

“Well, I guess, thank you to all of those who listened and who wanted us to explore this world and our thoughts or feelings would have you. It was truly fun and I hope we can um, well I guess do more of these right?” He paused to smile at the other who all mumbled in agreement.

"Bye everyone!" Danny let out smiling and everyone joined in.

"Sweet dreams!" Josh waved to no one.

"All our love!" Jake was smiling at Josh as he continued to theatrically wave.

"See ya next time!" Sam finished the tiny bit left of his drink, then turned to look at the drummer.

"Hey Daniel, have you ever-" and his mic cut out.

[fearsome-series]

BOOK ONE | BOOK TWO | [BOOK THREE]

Chapter [One] | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight

NORTHEASTERN PUERTO RICO

SEPTEMBER 1995

She did laundry, shoveling clothes from the washer to the dryer, listening to the wind outside. In the other room, a television was playing; a comedian talking once again about that -

- put her claws on either side of the goat’s head and shot down her tongue into the hole she made with her teeth, behind her a goat bleated, if she turned around she’d see dozens of them dead and dying but she finished up draining this one and skipped over to the chain link fence, climbed over it, climbed over barbed wire -

- stupid goatsucker story. Who knows what that woman was on? She laughed to herself, went to put away her clothes, and -

- a human! -

- the goatsucker! A scaly, clawed, winged creature standing hunched over in her laundry room, shuffling around. Reaching out with one of its claws…

It was only two feet tall.

“You’re a sorry excuse for a monster, aren’t you?” She laughed. “Pendejo!”

The creature covered itself with its wings, backed away, and fled, scared away by her display of might.

- she called me a pendejo, she thought, racing up and over the fence and past the field of dead goats. I’m so embarrassed.

She killed seven more goats that night to cope.

***

#3: THE GHOST'S SONG

CHAPTER ONE

INSIDE OUTSIDE

“...and I was excited. Was my first time out since my arrival. Me and Javier at bookstore across the mall.”

Besa addressed the Tunnel’s support group, and Laura found herself obsessed with her hair - her large, frizzy, beautiful hair - and the insects that called it home. She looked human, and as Besa told her story, a katydid crawled out from inside her hair.

“How’d that go for ya?” asked the facilitator, June. She was blonde, obnoxiously optimistic, and loud.

“Javier gave me gift of clothes from the college. With them on, I appeared as they do. First time since ever.”

“How’s your English?” June asked.

“Improving, thanks to you and Coleman. I was enjoying browsing books until…”

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it,” June said.

“Thank you, but I am ready. Other shopper noticed exploring friend. Tobi, the beetle. He takes book and...and…”

Gasps of shock among the group. Katie, a buff girl who looked like an axolotl, cried out, “not Tobi!” Laura didn’t really know how Besa’s insects worked, but she tried to join in anyway: “Oh no…?”

“There there, you’re safe now.” June said.

“Yeah,” Javy added. He wore pajamas and dark circles under his eyes, and the clouds of colorful dust orbiting his head like a personal nebula occasionally beeped out a tinny song. “I’m so sorry for bringing you there.”

“No, Javier. Am still glad I went out.” The katydid crawled back onto Besa’s hand; she petted it gently. “Yet...is first time my hive mind lost a member in years. It is so sudden. So painful...but I am working on it. Pain is in the gap where Tobi should be, but...the pain is fading.”

“We’re glad to hear it. If ya need us, know we’re always here for y’all.” Everyone clapped - with hands or claws or slimy tendrils. “And now our newbie! Laura, d’you wanna introduce yourself?”

“Oh! Yeah, sure.” Laura sat straight up. “Hey. So I’m Laura and I’m a werewolf. Hi?”

A moment of blank stares, and then they came all at once. First was Nina, a short girl with silver eyes and a sleeveless, glittery silver jumpsuit; until now, Laura hadn’t noticed that she hovered a half a foot off the floor. She greeted her in Russian - “Dobro pozhalovat!”

“Hey, Wolfgirl!” Eliza showed her to the others: to Tegan and Tori, identical twins who spoke a language she couldn’t understand - they spoke quickly in rapid words, with one instantly continuing the sentence of the other, and to Martin, a dour man made of purple slime. He stretched out a hand - the bones and veins visible through the nearly-translucent “skin” - but retracted it before Laura could shake it, offering only a miserable “I am sorry” before shuffling along. Laura shot a weak little hello back.

Besa - and her katydid - said hi, and Javier and Katie the axolotl girl and Wade, a scaly green man with a human-ish face and an alligator’s body, who lay beside his chair on the floor.

One person said nothing. One person didn’t move to greet her.

Melissa watched from her chair, her expression completely inscrutable to Laura. Thanks, dark glasses slash uncertain hell eyes.  As everyone found their way back to their seats, she didn’t turn away from Laura. She kept looking. But she still said nothing.

“So Laura,” said June. “If it’s okay by you, could ya tell us what it’s like to be a werewolf?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Brought back to Earth. Melissa - who’d said nothing, besides her name and pronouns - looked away. “So under the Full Moon - oh, and the night before and after - you transform into a...really big wolf person.”

“Do you go around hunting people?” Katie asked softly.

“What? No. Just deer. Uh, also, even when you aren’t a werewolf, you are a werewolf? ‘Cause it’s...part of you. You see the world differently, even without all the wolf bits.”

Wade spoke up. “But you still look human.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Except for three nights a month, you look like them? Look human, sound human, live with humans? Live on the surface?”

Laura knew Wade was going somewhere she didn’t like. “I do, but I’m not human. Kinda.”

“You know, I’m always this. I always look like some alien.” Wade put his arms and forelegs on his chair, rearing up higher. “I was human. I am human, maybe. But I’m not like you. It’s not on the ‘inside’.”

“Uh, sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say. What was she apologizing for? Being herself?

“We can’t turn it off like you.”

“Hey!” June tried to intervene, but the group drowned her out.

“Javy looks human when his orbs aren’t out. Besa, TeganTori. Kea and Esme too, when the entity’s not manifesting.” Katie said. “Think they don’t belong, either?”

“The entity…?” Laura mumbled.

“Oh my god,” Javier said, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling.

Wade flicked his membranes. “Now that you say it, yeah, it may chafe a bit that you all can go out on low alert.”

“Don’t listen to Wade,” Katie piped up. “He’s always...croc-hety.”

“Really?” Wade countered.

“Sorry. I can’t herp it.”

“Ignorant. I’m part alligator, not -”

“Hey, hey, hey!” June finally got a word in. “Let’s keep everything respectful, ‘kay?”

“Fine.” Wade slunk back to the floor.

June regained order. “Who’s next? Nina, you haven’t said much. Everything okay?”

“Am still trapped in ridiculous capitalist hellscape. What is there more to say?”

“...alright! It’s gettin’ late, isn’t it? Hope to see y’all next week, ‘specially our newest werewolf.”

Laura quickly ran for the door. “Uh, yeah, maybe, uh, it’s a moon, but...yeah. Later.”

“Another Full Moon so soon? That’s not what it looks like on my calendar…I added a moon phase one, once I heard we had a werewolf joining us.” June said, as Laura walked out. She waited by a motivational poster (an eagle and “DARE TO SOAR”), its corner peeling, waiting for…

There she was!

“Hey, Melissa,” Laura ran up to her. “Uh, you probably don’t recognize me, huh? ‘cause one time I was a dog and the other time you weren’t awake. But I was wondering if you were okay-”

Melissa didn’t say anything.

“Hey, uh, sorry-”

She ran into her room and slammed the metal sheet of a door.

“Wow, you’re welcome!” Laura said smugly.

“Wolfgirl?” Eliza said from down the hall; Laura hesitated a second, then joined her.

“Is Melissa okay?” Laura asked.

“Heh. She’s…adjusting,” Eliza answered.

***

Eliza led Laura down a corridor lined with art of Zener cards (at least Yang had called them that once) in a starscape. Lot more thorough than the art in that dump of a meeting room. Eliza hoped Laura wasn’t upset by Wade’s latest crusade.

“I’m sorry,” Laura said, upset. “I didn’t think about how...how easy I have it. Compared to him, and you, and…”

Eliza couldn’t say that Wade didn’t have a point. Laura could stop being a wolf. She couldn’t stop being the chupacabra. But why bring it up like that? 

“Don’t worry about it! Wade’s always like that.”

“I guess I’d be too if I turned into an alligator guy.” Laura’s voice was brightening up a bit, to Eliza’s relief.

“It’s not the worst thing you could become. He can swim really well...got some nice scales…”

“You know, your scales are cool. Really...tough but kinda shiny?”

“Thanks, Wolfgirl.”

“Your claws are super cool too. You could really mess someone up. My claws are cool too, but...temporary. My sharp teeth, too. The curse of the lichen..lickin...likeand...werewolf.”

“Thanks...maybe I can see what you’re like fluffy someday.”

“Yeah! Werewolf selfie. Just gotta get it to work with paws.” Laura looked at the art of the man unlocking his third eye. “Uh, what’s with the decoration?”

“The staff added it to make it a lot less depressing down here,” Eliza explained. “Yang and Wood did a bunch of paranormal murals, which they got from some old book.”

“Doesn’t look like June did much in the meeting room.”

“No. A couple fake flowers can’t cover that much gray.”

Eliza paused at her door. “Are your parents coming by soon?”

“Gotta leave in about ten minutes. Pick up Gef from Sjöberg’s office.” Laura said. “Could you come up and…?”

Eliza shook her head. “We may be on lowish alert, but…”

“What’s the alert thing?”

“How likely it is the Chicago people are around. I don’t know how Sjöberg knows, but we can only go out in disguise, and only when she’s got proof the Agency’s out of office somewhere.”

Laura ran her hand over the metal flap, over the sign on it saying STAY OUT TIL SUNSET UNLESS OPEN. “Is that your room?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I see it?”

“If you want…” Eliza nodded, but wondered as she pushed open the door: what will Laura think? Eliza liked her room, but through Laura’s eyes...would it be cozy, or small? A mess? A cell, not a home? She shouldn’t have asked, she…

“Huh.” Laura took the chair at Eliza’s desk. 

Eliza breathed a sigh of relief.  “Sorry, Wolfgirl. It’s pretty small.”

“How do they know it’s sunset?” Laura asked, spinning around and around and…

“Who?”

“On your door. Stay out ‘til sunset.”

“They know it’s sunset ‘cause I’m up. My body has a sense for it,” Eliza said, lying down on her bed. “I miss it, y’know? Going out at night.”

“Javier and Besa went out.”

“We’ve got a way to go out, the less human-y of us, but…only one of us at a time. I don’t want to risk it these days. It’s not like it used to be. When I was little and didn’t know any better. I’d creep out in the night. Feel the night breeze over my spines as I stalked a farm or -”

A thud. Something fell off the desk. It wasn’t her bracelet (with RATA <3 CABRA inscribed on it) or her coins, which meant…

“Oh, sorry. I pushed something off.” Laura searched around a basket of clothes at the foot of the desk. A mix of hoodies looking like the one she wore right now, and clothes gathered from thrift stores, all with spine holes poked out.

Eliza helped her look for...whatever it was. “My room’s kind of a mess, sorry.”

“Are you kidding? You have your clothes in, like, baskets. And drawers.” Laura said.

“You...you don’t?”

“Oh, hey, found it!” Laura pulled up Eliza’s phone. “Oh, you have a phone? Uh, here.”

Laura handed Eliza’s phone over: its well-worn body and screen were battered and cracked and all taped up. Claws and touch screens don’t mix. 

“Ugh!” Eliza furiously slid to unlock her phone, trying hard to use the blunt, fleshier parts of her finger and not her claw. It didn’t respond. “Can you unlock it?”

“Sure.” Laura took Eliza’s phone. “Hey, who’s this guy in the lock screen?”

“Oh!” Eliza quickly took her phone back. “That’s Clive. He is...he was my…”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah. He was. Didn’t realize he was still on there.”

“Cool. That you had one. I mean, not the had part, obviously. It’s not cool that you broke up...uh, I don’t know what I mean. Ignore meeeeeeeeee.” Laura buried her head in her hood.

“I know what you mean. Don’t worry.” Eliza tried one more time. Nothing.  “It’s not like anyone expects people like us to date.”

“Cool.” Laura pulled her hood back down. “I mean, I didn't think that. That you don't. I mean, I didn’t think about it? Not in a bad way, just didn’t...yeah. You know? Yeah. No? Uhh...” She buried her head in her hoodie again.

“Aw. Well, now we’ve both been awkward, so we’re even.” Eliza said.

“Yeah…” Laura took Eliza’s phone back. “He wasn’t at group. Is he around here, or…?”

“Not anymore. He’s…in the sanctuary in Portland.” 

“Maine or Oregon?”

“Yeah.” With the number in, she took back her phone and studied the photo. His rat-like snout and hairless face and long, thin whiskers. His arm around her shoulders. The setting sun.

***

TWO YEARS AGO

Another support group. Another hot summer night. June guiding a group that really didn’t want to talk: her, Katie, Javy, Wade, Martin...and the empty seat between her and Katie. No kids, no Besa, and during every sullen silence Eliza’s eyes drifted to the empty chair.

“...my son mailed me. I finally figured out how to use that app we have to use.” Martin said slowly. “He said my grandson wanted to meet me. But I won’t let him. Not like this.”

“You have a family that wants to see you, and you’re too vain to-!?” Wade was cut off by a knock on the “door”. June rushed to answer.

“Here already? Alright, the more the merrier!”

June walked back in with him. Eliza remembered his hoodie, his torn jeans, how his bony tail dragged along the tile floor.

“This is Clive, and he’s here all the way from jolly-ol’-London! Say hi, y’all!”

Scattered applause and uneasy “hi”s. Eliza was sick of the apathy. She bounced to her feet and loudly welcomed him. “Hi, Clive!”

Her excitement faded when he took the empty chair. Her chair. Eliza winced. So did Katie, their uneasy gaze meeting from either side of the new arrival.

“How’s London?” Javier asked. “Always wanted to go. Buckingham Palace, Big Ben…”

“They stuck me in a little room on the third floor of a secret facility. My London was a tiny window, a porthole to a magical world of cracked pavement and a council estate.”

“...Wembley…”

Dead. Silence. Shuffling and coughing. A stray comment every few minutes, going nowhere; it was a lifeless meeting, and no one was more sullen than Clive, who seemed to be sizing them all up.

When the meeting ended, Eliza ran over to Clive. Might as well make friends...if he wants to.

“Hey, Clive.”

“Hi,” he shot back curtly.

“We never really did introductions, did we? I’m Eliza.”

“Hi. I’m still Clive.”

“I’m the chupacabra. Hey, do they know about me in England?” She kept up with him as they left the room.

“Aye. I’ve heard of you. The dread goatsucker of Puerto Rico.”

“Yeah, that’s me. I get my goat frozen now, though. Would I know about you?”

“No. There aren’t any legends about me. I’m just a simple ratman from Southend.”

“Where’s Southend?”

“The end, honestly.” Clive gave a tiny smirk.

“Huh?” If there was a joke, Eliza didn’t get it.

“I mean it’s England’s arse.”

“Oh...oh, of course. So you didn’t like it?” Obviously, Eliza.

“Maybe it’s lovely when you don’t experience it the Clive Davies way. I lived under an underpass, ‘til some kids beat me. The London folks found me frozen half to death and took me prisoner. So yeah, not an abundance of fond memories there.”

“Aw, oh no. But...you’re here, at least. How’d you get out of London?”

“A few of us hatched an escape plan with the help of a bleeding heart in the staff. ‘Course, they ended up catching her and the rest of our little flock before we could even enact phase one of our grand little scheme. Get this, when they were herding us back towards an unmarked van, they looked away, I sprinted for the wall, and jumped it. All that planning and I make it by sheer blind chance. I snuck around some ‘til I found the contact we were all supposed to meet, and he spirited me away after some Swedish lady.”

“The others who escaped are still stuck there?”

“Dead, most like,” he said coldly.

“Are you the only Ratman?” Eliza asked.

“Far as I know.”

“Me too. I’m the only chupacabra.”

“So we’re both one of a kind. Good to know, Goatgirl.”

“...huh?”

“Don’t worry. It’s not something bad. I like nicknames. Spares me the trouble of keepin’ everyone straight.”

“Oh, yeah. Me too, Ratboy.”

“Don’t know if you’ve got Ratboy privileges yet…”

They talked for another hour.

***

“What do you mean you don’t know, Brandon?”

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Who does?”

Freddy walked beside his boyfriend. It was a late night, and they were going through the nearest reaches of campus, with the already-drunk and the soon-to-be-drunk filtering from one of the block’s bars to another. Normally Freddy would be rendered anxious in the face of their fumbling mass, out of bars with neon signs branding them the HOME OF THE FISHBOWL; but now, the source of his annoyance was even closer at hand.

“You do!” Brandon said.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Compared to me? I’ve changed majors twice. You? You have your shit together.”

Freddy gave a hollow laugh. “I don’t have my shit together.”

“I just wish I loved anything the way you love oceans, okay?”

“Inland waters, Brandon!” Freddy snapped. “Limnology is the study of inland waters. Jesus, why do I have to keep reminding you?”

“God, I’m sorry. I don’t-”

“Why would someone go to the Midwest to study oceans!?”

“I wasn’t thinking, okay? So sue me.”

“Are you ever thinking?” Freddy stormed off. Brandon tried to call after him, but Freddy had already melted into the faceless forces of the night.

Small, angry tears formed. His feet stomped the sidewalk forcefully. Freddy had stormed away impulsively, in a fit of frustration, and now the regret was setting in. Freddy left his boyfriend, which was bad. But now he was in a dark alley, an alley with high parking garages on either side, past midnight, with drunk assholes all over, all alone, which was worse.

“Great,” he mumbled.

His desperate stomp through the alley was interrupted by a song. A lilting song made up of tiny voices echoing through the concrete valley. Freddy couldn’t help but listen. He couldn’t tell where the song came from, and part of him knew he should be unnerved, should stomp on, flee, but it made him feel...at peace. In his mind’s eye, he saw himself somewhere beautiful. He saw gentle winds and tranquil waters. Slowly rocking boats moored to a pier, to that pier - his family’s, springing to mind unbidden. His mind invited him to close his eyes and dream.

But he couldn’t. When his eyes snapped open, a light stood in front of him. A hazy blue-white light in a featureless human shape; he found himself frozen before it; he couldn’t decide if the shining light was eerie or beautiful, or why it couldn’t be both.

The shape moved towards him, let out a single rising note, and that was enough to decide. He unmoored his entranced feet and ran. He heard shrieks and voices and a swooping gust of wind behind him, but wouldn't dare look back. Not until he escaped the alleyway; not until he ran all the way home; not until he had caught his breath and spent the night pressed to his window, shuddering at every noise.

[animanganerd]

Everything Annoys Me And I’m (Too) Hot - Chapter 3

The Untamed / Mo Dao Zu Shi Fanfic

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47881336/chapters/121120009

Special Thanks to @a-force-dyad-in-space for beta reading ✨

All chapters: here x

Chapter 3 ❖ Part of the family (Part 2)

A-Li seemed to have never seen a donkey before, as he marvelled at its existence, his curious hands touching the spotted donkey all over. Thankfully, Lil’ Apple knew better than to kick a child; instead it glowered at Wei Wuxian who pointed at himself in shock. “Why me?!”

Lan Wangji lifted A-Li onto the donkey, took the reins and led the way, followed by Wei Wuxian who shook his head in disbelief. When the donkey started moving, A-Li squealed with glee. Lan Wangji had placed a hand on A-Li’s back to make sure he wouldn’t fall.

After the shock of the donkey’s accusation had settled, Wei Wuxian excitedly skipped next to Lan Wangji to discuss the names he’d come up with for the boy.

“Of course, he will adopt your surname! As for his courtesy name… we only have ‘Li’ to work with. I definitely want to keep it because it’s the only thing he remembers. I thought about adding… ‘Xiao’. What do you think?” Wei Wuxian said with an expectant smile.

Lan Wangji nodded.

Wei Wuxian clapped his hands together in delight. “As for the characters, ‘Li’ will be written with the one for ‘reasoning’. And ‘Xiao’ will be…”

“Written with the character for ‘laughter’?”

Wei Wuxian stared at Lan Wangji in astonishment before he suddenly erupted in laughter, bending over as he held his stomach from laughing too hard.

“I… I’m almost ashamed to say I had the character for ‘small’ in mind,” he said as he wiped tears from his eyes. He thought he’d been very smart and clever, making it easy for himself. “But you’re right. You’re so much better with names!”

“What about his personal name?” Lan Wangji asked.

Wei Wuxian smirked at him. He pretended to think about it really hard for a moment before he suggested, “Wu. Ji.”

It was meant as a teasing nod to the name of the song Lan Wangji had composed, but the corners of Lan Wangji’s lips slightly lifted and he unexpectedly agreed, “Yes. I like it.”

Although stunned once more, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but smile. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, how do you keep surprising me like this?” he said with a shake of his head.

Two weeks later, the trio finally reached Gusu’s Cloud Recesses.

The other members of the Lan clan had received Lan Wangji’s message of their arrival, and the sect’s disciples had already lined up at the entrance like fledglings, thrilled to welcome the little boy – though they had to restrain their excitement as the sect’s strict precepts prohibited clamour. Among the swarm of white robes were Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi.

Wei Wuxian lifted Lan Xiaoli into his arms and gave Lan Sizhui a firm pat on his shoulder.

“This is your big brother!” Wei Wuxian announced proudly.

Lan Sizhui responded with a friendly smile towards A-Li.

A-Li, on the other hand, only glanced at the older boy before he buried his head in Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. Throughout their travels, Wei Wuxian had noticed that Lan Xiaoli was incredibly wary of other people. Even with someone who had a kind and gentle face such as Lan Sizhui, he couldn’t seem to overcome his shyness.

“Hey, I’m also his big brother!” Lan Jingyi protested, but Wei Wuxian ignored him and turned to Lan Wangji with a slightly concerned expression.

“I think this is all a bit too much for him. You introduce him to your brother and uncle. I will catch up with the kids.”

Lan Wangji nodded. He took A-Li from Wei Wuxian and placed the boy on the ground, so that he could walk on his own.

As A-Li was led through the Cloud Recesses, he kept on hiding behind Lan Wangji, whom he strongly admired. Though he’d been scared of him at first, something about this man’s graceful demeanour and sparse use of words made A-Li feel oddly calm around him.

Their first visit was to A-Li’s new uncle, Lan Xichen, who awaited them in the Elegance Room.

He had specifically come out of his secluded meditation to greet the little one. When they arrived, he put down the book he’d been reading and welcomed them with a serene smile. His demeanour exuded such a graceful elegance that even the simple act of setting aside a book gave the impression of an artistic performance.

At the sight of this handsome stranger who seemed to be beyond reproach, A-Li’s nerves began to flutter and his heart pounded wildly in his chest.

Since Lan Xichen’s countenance was more expressive than that of Lan Wangji, others found his company generally more pleasant and enjoyable. Yet, when he tried to talk to A-Li, the boy swiftly disappeared behind Lan Wangji’s leg, tightly clutching onto his robes and avoiding eye contact as if his life depended on it.

Luckily, Lan Xichen was very understanding, even more so after Lan Wangji gave a concise summary of A-Li’s circumstances.

Together, the brothers gave A-Li a brief tour of the Cloud Recesses.

First, they showed him the Orchid Room, where the students were taught. A-Li, however, would not be taught here, as the presence of Wei Wuxian (and consequently Lan Wangji) was still not welcomed. But this didn’t pose a problem. Even if A-Li wouldn’t grow up at the Cloud Recesses, as a member of the Lan clan it was essential that he’d receive the sect’s education, and Lan Wangji would make sure of that.

On their way to the Tranquility Room, where A-Li and his dads would sleep during their stay, they passed the Library Pavilion, with its magnificent magnolia tree adding to the tranquil atmosphere.

As they strolled on the white-stoned paths and along the windowed walls, neither of the brothers said much, save for a few anecdotes from Lan Xichen’s side. When Lan Xichen returned to his meditation, it was time for Lan Wangji to face his uncle, Lan Qiren.

Before that, however, he took a small detour to the back of the mountain to introduce A-Li to his armada of rabbits.

At first, Lan Qiren refused to look at either the child or Lan Wangji. How many more children did his formerly precious student want to produce with that devilish ingrate Wei Wuxian?

However, he’d also heard of the child’s terrible misfortune, and when he saw how quiet and coy he was – the exact opposite of Wei Wuxian – he realised that not all hope was lost.

To test the boy’s potential, he gave him several tasks to solve the very next morning. Since A-Li had no background in cultivation, Lan Qiren didn’t expect much from him in the first place. Yet, A-Li proved to be extremely obedient, properly carrying out all instructions he was given. This prompted Lan Qiren, who was initially disinclined, to approve the adoption.

Much to Wei Wuxian’s dismay and horror, the Lan family held one of their tedious banquets in the evening to celebrate the new clan member. Interestingly enough, A-Li didn’t seem to mind the bland food at all, as he ate it without complaint or so much as a grimace. Wei Wuxian wondered if he’d never eaten anything good in his life, or if he’d lost his taste buds along with his memory. Whatever the case, he couldn’t help but admire A-Li for his aptitude, watching him with a tender smile.

As soon as all formalities were completed and A-Li had received his own set of white robes – including a forehead ribbon sewn with clouds – his courtesy name, Lan Xiaoli, was publicly revealed.

With the conclusion of the welcoming ceremony, Lan Xiaoli and his dads embarked on their journey once again, this time as a family of three.

Now that Lan Xiaoli was officially part of their family and had met the members of the Lan clan, Wei Wuxian wanted to try his luck with his own brother, Jiang Cheng. He really wished to introduce A-Li to his side of the family and to show him the place where he’d grown up.

There had been no improvement in the relationship of the two brothers since the Guanyin Temple incident. They hadn’t exchanged so much as a word ever since, so Wei Wuxian held little hope when he contacted Jiang Cheng. Yet, he eagerly awaited a response nonetheless.

Against all expectations, Jiang Cheng granted them permission to visit, but neither Lan Wangji nor Wei Wuxian were allowed to enter Lotus Pier. Instead, Jin Ling was to guide Lan Xiaoli. Excited to visit his old home, Wei Wuxian thoroughly wrote down a detailed tour with very precise instructions on their way to Yunmeng. Even Lan Wangji couldn’t help but feel a bit surprised. He had never seen Wei Wuxian write this much of his own accord.

When they arrived at sunny Lotus Pier, they were welcomed by a stern gaze from Jiang Cheng, who had personally taken on the role of the gatekeeper. He didn’t say a single word. Instead, he just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and glowered at the couple.

To protect Wei Wuxian from the disdainful glare, Lan Wangji stared back at Jiang Cheng to take on all the contempt.

Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, tried his best to ignore Jiang Cheng’s icy demeanour, and focused on going through the instructions with Jin Ling.

Jin Ling hadn’t agreed to be the tour guide right away – or at all, for that matter, but just like with everything else it was hard for him to defy his uncle. In the end, he really had no choice.

While Wei Wuxian explained, A-Li grasped his hand, absentmindedly nibbling on one of his own sleeves. The whole situation made him uncomfortable and Jiang Cheng’s cold sneer didn’t help at all.

Wei Wuxian had told him on their way that he would meet another new uncle and cousin, but standing in front of them now, Lan Xiaoli wished back the kind people from Gusu – he even preferred the grumpy-looking Lan Qiren.

It felt like they’d gone from a cold place with warm people to a warm place with cold people.

Oblivious to Lan Xiaoli’s inner turmoil, Wei Wuxian kept on explaining, “The tree is important, it can’t just be any tree! It’s where I…” His voice trailed off as his eyes drifted over to Lan Wangji, and his lips curled into a cheeky grin.

Lan Wangji didn’t notice it, for he and Jiang Cheng were engaged in a staring contest.

Jin Ling followed Wei Wuxian’s gaze. He was unfortunate enough to guess what was going on in Wei Wuxian’s mind, which made him want to throw up. To bring Wei Wuxian back to reality, he asked, “Where you what?”

After a short pause Wei Wuxian continued, “None of your business. Just make sure to show him the right tree.” 

He then shoved the paper with the instructions into Jin Ling’s hands and bent down to face Lan Xiaoli. “Make sure to memorise all these places so I can tell you the stories of them later, okay?”

Lan Xiaoli nodded, but wasn’t too enthusiastic. He was very reluctant to leave with someone he didn’t know.

Jin Ling raised a sceptical eyebrow at the boy who wouldn’t make eye contact.

Wei Wuxian passed Lan Xiaoli’s hand onto Jin Ling’s. Lan Xiaoli held onto it, but when Jin Ling wanted to start the tour, he didn’t budge, no matter how hard he was pulled, almost as if his feet were glued to the ground. It needed a little push from Wei Wuxian to get him to take one heavy step after another, all the while still nibbling on his sleeve with a pout.

While showing the boy around, Jin Ling desperately tried to make conversation to relieve the awkward tension he felt, but Lan Xiaoli only replied to all topics with single-word answers, if at all. Lan Xiaoli kept his gaze fixed on the ground, rendering it difficult for Jin Ling to see any reaction from him in the first place. Irritated, Jin Ling decided to let it go after several attempts and thought it best to just get the tour over with.

Just as Wei Wuxian had instructed, he led – or rather, dragged – Lan Xiaoli to the street vendors on the docks and bought two pancakes, one of which he held out to Lan Xiaoli. Lan Xiaoli accepted it only reluctantly.

Jin Ling rolled his eyes. He was too impatient for this, but since it was Hanguang-jun’s son as well, he didn’t dare snap at him. Instead, he got down on one knee and bit into the other pancake.

“See, it’s all fine,” he spoke with a mouthful of pancake, causing his words to come out muffled. “Wei Wuxian wanted you to try this one, you can trust his taste.”

This was the first time Lan Xiaoli looked him into the eyes. Finally getting a reaction out of the small boy, it felt like Jin Ling had unlocked a great achievement and he was filled with an overwhelming delight. His eyes lit up and he hurriedly nodded to reassure Lan Xiaoli.

Lan Xiaoli took a small bite out of the pancake and after a few munches, his eyes curved up in a smile.

Jin Ling beamed at him in return. In a surge of exhilaration he asked, “Do you want more?” 

Lan Xiaoli nodded, so Jin Ling immediately bought him one, no two more pancakes!

However, Jin Ling’s euphoria didn’t last long. As they continued their tour, Lan Xiaoli remained quiet, he just changed from nibbling his sleeve to nibbling on the pancakes. After a short stroll in silence they reached the place with the “special” tree Wei Wuxian had spoken of. Jin Ling scanned the trees and quickly realised he couldn’t tell any of them apart.

He huffed. “We’ve seen the trees, I’m sure it’s fine. What does it matter which tree we look at…,” he mumbled under his breath, more to himself than to Lan Xiaoli, but the boy heard him just fine.

“...but daddy said it has to be the right one,” Lan Xiaoli quietly argued, pancake still stuck in his mouth.

Jin Ling looked at Lan Xiaoli with wide eyes, surprised to hear him say a full sentence. He paused for a moment, then heaved an unnerved sigh.

“Fine…,” he said and continued his search. While Jin Ling compared the trees to the description he’d received from Wei Wuxian, Lan Xiaoli stood to the side, contentedly munching on his pancakes.

Jin Ling grew more and more agitated with each tree that didn’t fit the description. After almost half an hour he finally found the correct one. All his frustration evaporated into victorious joy that filled him to the core and almost made him cry happy tears.

At this point Jin Ling didn’t even mind the dirt on his face nor the twigs and leaves stuck in his hair. He waved with big movements at Lan Xiaoli who promptly walked over. Hands on his hips, Jin Ling showed him the tree with a wide, proud grin.

Lan Xiaoli… briefly nodded in response.

Jin Ling’s smile and hands dropped. They may not be related by blood, but he sure takes after Hanguang-jun, he thought with a frown.

He was truly at a loss. For some reason, this boy just wouldn’t come out of his shell. Afraid he might get punished if Lan Xiaoli returned unenthused, Jin Ling started to rack his brain. What would help him relax if he was in the boy’s situation? While he was mulling over this, it suddenly hit him.

As they headed toward the Yunmeng Jiang sect’s ancestral hall, he carefully probed “…Do you like dogs?”

Jin Ling was pinning all his hopes on his last resort: Fairy. He would’ve called Fairy right away, but then he remembered that people like Wei Wuxian existed. The thought of having to deal with a crying child let him shiver, so he wanted to make sure Lan Xiaoli wasn’t scared of dogs lest he accidentally worsen the situation.

Lan Xiaoli slowly looked at him with his big, round eyes and nodded.

“Great!”

Jin Ling instantly summoned Fairy, and lo and behold, it worked! Once Lan Xiaoli saw the black-haired spiritual dog, his face brightened, and he slowly began to open up, giggling as he ruffled the spiritual dog’s fluffy fur without restraint.

It felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from Jin Ling’s heart. He let out a deep sigh of relief and continued the tour.

Meanwhile, the three adults were waiting at the entrance of Lotus Pier.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stood outside, while Jiang Cheng stayed close by to keep a watchful eye on them.

Growing impatient, Wei Wuxian started fidgeting around. He sometimes got on his tippy toes and craned his neck in hopes of seeing further into the distance. 

“It’s taking them quite long,” Wei Wuxian said with a nervous laugh.

Jiang Cheng side-eyed him. “Well, you’ve given quite a long instruction.”

This shut Wei Wuxian up. The atmosphere between the men was tense and awkward, but not hostile. They spent the rest of the time in silence.

When Wei Wuxian finally spotted the two boys on the training field of Lotus Pier after a while, his face lit up in delight. At the same time, he was a little surprised to see Lan Xiaoli laughing so unbridledly. It was nice to see that he’d left scared and returned visibly comfortable. Wei Wuxian was about to praise Jin Ling, but then he saw something that made his heart drop.

On the training field, Lan Xiaoli romped around with Fairy. They chased each other as if they were playing tag. The spiritual dog was ruthless, yet careful. It jumped around while playfully snapping at the boy.

“Wait – is that dog attacking him?!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed.

At this moment, he wished for nothing more than to save Lan Xiaoli from that ferocious beast, but he knew Jiang Cheng wouldn’t let him enter, no matter what. So he could only clasp Lan Wangji’s shoulders instead, digging his fingers into the white robes.

Lan Wangji patted the back of Wei Wuxian’s hand to comfort him. “Spiritual dogs only attack evil spirits. There is nothing to fear,” he gently reminded Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian knew that, of course, yet he couldn’t help but worry. Whenever he saw these flesh-tearing teeth close to his boy, his heart skipped a beat and he sucked in a sharp breath, his fingers digging deeper into Lan Wangji’s shoulders.

Lan Xiaoli, oblivious to his dad’s concerns, was having the time of his life, joyfully squealing as he stumbled to the ground, while Fairy took the opportunity to lick all over his face.

It almost seemed like Lan Xiaoli was more fond of the spiritual dog than the place.

And, unlike Wei Wuxian, he very much loved dogs.

Jiang Cheng, who had overheard the conversation between the other two men, showed some mercy and went to get Lan Xiaoli. For one, he wanted to end Wei Wuxian’s suffering, and for another, he wanted them to just leave already.

Lan Xiaoli’s good mood plummeted when he was interrupted by Jiang Cheng, but the man looked too intimidating to be defied. His scowl was much scarier than Lan Wangji’s expressionless face could ever be, so Lan Xiaoli had no choice but to obediently follow him back to his dads with a drooping head.

Wei Wuxian lavished his gratitude on Jiang Cheng for rescuing Lan Xiaoli, and for letting them come over in the first place, but Jiang Cheng didn’t want to hear any of it and shooed them away.

After a proper farewell, the small family departed.

[sezja]

If allowed questions for you, reply when you want. You can reply each in different posts too just tag me please. Only if you feel like it.

Favorite oc? Or are you the type who can’t decide? Any reason someone is a favorite if you have one?

Favorite ffxiv character? Any reason?

Favorite game (because nobody knows)?

Favorite character of all time (because nobody knows) and why?

How did you chose Nerise’s dragon name? What about her?

Will Marty ever officially marry? (I’m making this up just to make one more question)

Thank you.

OH BOY it's Learning About Fox Time!

1: I kind of cycle between Favorite OCs; my "favorite" is whoever I'm fixating on at the time. At the moment, it's kind of a three-way split between Nerise, Fenumin, and Darcy, but any given moment, if I'm reminded of another OC, they briefly claim my heart and run away with it. I think Origins!Kuja, better known these days as Urha'to Nelhah, is my favorite of all time... which should come as no surprise, considering Origins is my baby, and considering... Well.

2: I assume you mean favorite NPC, in which case: Stephanivien de Haillenarte, my beloved...... I picked up MCH at a time when I was having a huge falling-out with the friend who'd played a major role in getting me into the game, and I was kind of considering unsubbing, because ARR hadn't really grabbed me and I wasn't like, deeply invested beyond the AU I was crafting for my Origins characters (alongside my roommate's WoLs). Then I ran into Steph, and oh man, he saved the game for me; it's not an exaggeration to say I would've fallen out of the game completely if he hadn't gotten me super invested in it all over again. I actually roleplayed Steph for a couple of years, on @skysteelsun.

3: Favorite game: Final Fantasy IX, by a massive unstoppable landslide!

4: Favorite character: Garland my beloved Why is a complicated explanation, but it kind of boils down to my huge undying love for fallen civilizations - what could be better, then, than a completely dead planet? Garland is overseeing the revival and restoration of a world that has been dead for several thousand years, and that fascinates me. And I think his treatment of the beings he has created to populate that dead world (among others) is kind of an interesting look at how he himself, also a construct, might have been treated by his own creators. I can't say a lot without, you know, spoilers, but I find him so incredibly interesting on so many levels. He's only around for less than a disk and a half, but he makes excellent use of his screentime.

5: Nerise's wyvern's name, Sohl Amh, means "Slow Song," and while I initially chose it because I liked the sound of it... it has very much come to fit their personality. Sohl Amh is the steadier, more patient of the pair, content to wait and see what happens - compared to Nerise's quick temper and eagerness for results. Nerise's name was also just an "I like the sound of it," to be honest. We don't know a lot about how elezen naming conventions have changed, if at all, in the past thousand years, so it was kind of a shot in the dark!

6: Oh man okay so eventually what happens is Marty gets his ass arrested for poaching (he actually takes the fall for Dom, presuming - not without reason - he'll get off lighter than a Duskwight would). And who should happen to spot him while he's being brought in than one Serpent Captain Sanson Smyth? Who notices he looks vaguely familiar. One thing leads to another, and Marty gets introduced to Guydelot, and they realize they probably share a dad. Sanson's owed a favor or five by the Adders at this point, and has sufficient influence to get Marty's sentenced negotiated down to exile from the Greatwood. It is at this point that Marty realizes he's going to have to tell Tsimh everything - part of the reason he hasn't asked her to marry him yet is the whole "I'd have to tell her I'm a poacher".... thing. So he tells her. She is understandably upset, but honestly, more about not being told. They work it out. They move - in keeping with Marty's sentence - to La Noscea, and settle on a farmstead. All's well. And then, yes, Marty finally proposes to his girl.

[msbarrows]

My nephew and I have started sorted through decades worth of boxes and bags of documents and files going back to his paternal grandfather’s time - my sister and BIL were both masters of procrastination so a lot of things that should have been sorted through and discarded before they moved to this house have instead been sitting around unsorted since the move. Technically since well before the move for a lot of it.

This particular item discovered in an old file box of my sister’s brought back memories for me.

The summer of 1985. She’d moved to Toronto some months previously and was renting a room in a house on Bathurst Street, working for a home care service by day and doing laundry at a women’s spa downtown in the evenings. I came down that spring to (in theory) find a summer job, and the two of us would look for an apartment to share, while I attended the Ontario College of Art starting that fall.

(I never did find a job that year, nor did we end up sharing an apartment.)

The 40th anniversary of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was coming up. Reagan was talking Star Wars (not the movie) and nuclear umbrellas. Brezhnev and Chernenko had died in fairly rapid succession; Gorbachev was just in and already talking about reform iirc. The Berlin Wall had yet to come down. An American warship capable of carrying nuclear missiles was due to visit Toronto’s harbour front. Nuclear disarmament was a big topic.

My sister and I saw something in a free Toronto newspaper about an upcoming protest related to most of the above - the shadow project. The goal: to use chalk paint to mark hundreds of people-shaped “shadows” on streets, sidewalks, and buildings, reminiscent of the images etched into surfaces when the bombs fell. We decided to participate. Everyone was given one of the above cards, marked with our name and providing contact phone numbers and the legal hotline to use if we were arrested.

I remember it mostly as a minorly scary (chance of arrest, ack!) but mostly fun night, spent with a group of other people while we ran around with our little buckets of chalk paint and paint brushes, painting life sized “shadows” every few metres along the stretch we’d been assigned. I think we were on University heading south from Bloor, because I can remember coming up to where the road split to either side of buildings (but it might have been Spadina).

I also joined a protest group that occupied Nathan Phillips Square for a few days; I can remember sitting in circles singing protest songs, sleeping overnight on the grass in the little parkette there with other protesters wrapped in sleeping bags and blankets, going on coffee runs to refill thermos or use publicly available bathrooms in the underground PATH commercial zones nearby (including the very high class ones with perfume dispensers underneath the Hotel York, among very few open at oh-my-fucking-god early in the morning). The dog in the bandana who the police were unsure of what to do with when they arrested his owner (iirc they just picked out a few known faces to take in, most of us were ignored and just sat around and sang some more). I remained involved with the protest movement for several months afterwards, until my college work load got to be too much. Oh, and I was introduced to Bloom County at one of the evening coffee shop meetings, when a member brought in his anthologies (thank you random person for getting me hooked on the adventures of Opus et al).

It was an interesting time to be on that line between teenaged and adulthood.

[faneposting-my-beloved]

I don't speak about Elane a lot, mostly because I don't think people find my ocs all that interesting but on the off chance that someone is indeed interested, I really want to talk about the inspirations that really kickstarted her origin.

Warning: slight spoilers for my fanfic, houseki no kuni, ancient magus bride To begin with, I started my first-ever run with Elane with the 'Leech' talent. It heals you a small percent when you stand/go through puddles of blood. Obviously, I picked it solely because cool, but then I started asking myself - what caused this/made her be like that? as the purebred historian that I am. (The answer I came up with is naturally careful worldbuilding worth a 500-page novel)

There were few moments where she would hold on in battle solely because of this perk - and my boyfriend joked that she can't die as long as she bleeds. That joke stuck with me, hard.

As you could've picked up from reading Song of Infinity or looking at my bizarre artworks - Elane's wounds heal as they bleed. That makes her 'suffer' from a very odd kind of immortality. A continuous cycle that I often contrast with Fane's eternal stasis. If Fane's existence is impervious to time, hers is impervious to action.

Infinite kind of immortality, if you will.

With Elane, I'm asking and answering questions I that regarded most of the inspirations for her character.

How much of yourself can you lose and still be you?

Characters from Houseki no Kuni are Gems. Just like the real thing, they have a certain durability and can be melded into alloys and such. The protagonist of the series Phos -Phosphophyllite - is among the brittler ones, and over the course of the story (thanks to their clumsy and active character) loses parts of their original body. Those get replaced with many others - up to a point where Phos is not Phosphophyllite, not even in the slight majority.

As Elane can loses and regrows any part of her body - it does raise a similar concern. If the flesh she fled Fort Joy with is not the same flesh that made it to Arx - where is 'herself' truly contained? This is why Elane values things bound to herself like clothes or accessories more than she does her body - things that can define her or she can define, using them as an anchor for her personality and thoughts to cling to while everything within her is ever-shifting.

Being immortal while you still suffer from pain, disease and hunger - is it worth it? What toll does it take?

Cartaphilus - the wandering Jew - introduced to me through the lenses of the Ancient Magus Bride. The original legend speaks of a Jew who taunted Jesus on the way to the Crucifixion and for doing so was cursed to walk the Earth until the Second Coming.

In the anime, Carthaphilus indeed does wander, with its body failing him because of the passage of time, and damage over time. Illnesses, the fault of flesh. He is then fused with an innocent soul who wanted to help this suffering stranger - and the vicious cycle starts anew, driving the new host mad.

Similarly in Elane's cause, the body and psyche are interconnected - but ultimately function differently. Elane's tragedy revolves around all her suffering over the ages having no basis in reality - no scar or weariness remain from any harm that happened to her. But she clearly remembers what has happened - but then again, does she? This dichotomy is a breeding ground for mental issues, and this is barely the tip of the iceberg.

What do you become when there's no consequence of death for your decisions?

Still relating to Cartaphilus/Joseph and partially to - unexpectedly, I'm sure - Deadpool. Common sense keeps most people in check from doing daring or outright idiotic things, but it is not the case for those who can jump into a tree chipper and come out the other side to tell how the ride has been. Sacrificing oneself for others becomes trivial - an inconvenience at worst. There is surprisingly a very faint line dividing heroism from lawlessness, never mind all the flavours of god syndrome that kick in.

Elane still is in the hero phase - but it quickly becomes less and less attractive to put herself in harm's way over and over and pay for it in pain she didn't truly deserve.

Immortal characters are one hell of a drug to my brain, I love treading the line between humanity and total cosmic alienness, and happily dip my ankles into the other. In all honesty, I modelled Elane as a counterweight to Fane's eternity. He takes it as a given and the correct way of being, she considers it an illness - a curse to dream about getting rid of. And now to see them clash- I really hope I can do this concept justice.

[briamichellewrites]

19

- I know I’m skipping ahead but I was too excited to wait!

February 23, 2000. Bria was at the Grammys waiting to hear who won the award for Best New Artist. She was nominated among Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Macy Gray, Kid Rock, and Susan Tedeschi. Her album, Memories was doing well on the Adult Contemporary charts. It took months of writing, recording, and editing. It got Jeff’s approval before it was officially released. Critics gave it very good reviews. They liked everything about the album.

The day before, she was called upon to perform. The show had a last-minute cancellation and they needed an artist to cover for them. She met the producer in person to discuss what song she wanted to do. They decided on To Love You More by Celine Dion. He informed her that she would be in the audience. So, no pressure.

“Yep. No pressure”, she joked.

Brad and Mike had her practice the song after hearing of the situation. They had her practice with Celine’s vocals and then with the instrumental version. They even had her practice how she was going to stand and her movements. She nailed it every time! They were excited for her! She crossed her fingers. Was she nervous? Hell yeah! That was to be expected.

They would be at home watching her. Celine was informed that she would sing her song. She thought it would be a great opportunity for her to prove she could sing and promote her music. Both she and her husband, Rene heard her single, Better Days on the radio. Her voice sounded like she had years of training and experience. Brad and the band were at home watching the show, as Bon Jovi sat with her in the audience.

When her name was called, she took a second to process that she won! The band got up and took turns hugging her as she walked to the stage. The guys were excited about their best friend winning! No way! That’s Bria!

“I first want to thank Richie Sambora for telling me earlier that Britney Spears was going to win…”

The audience laughed.

“I also want to thank my parents for encouraging me and believing in me. If anyone here is drinking tonight, please get a sober ride home. Thank you.”

The audience clapped as she walked backstage. Melissa Etheridge, Sarah MacLachlan, and Sheryl Crow took turns giving her a hug and congratulations. She was photographed by the media holding her award. They also asked her questions before she sat back down in the audience.

Jon, Dorothea, and the other guys congratulated her. Thank you. When it was her time to sing, she gave her award to Jon to hang on to before going backstage again. She went on stage as she was introduced. The audience clapped for her. She took a deep breath as the music started. Everyone knew she could do it! Though, they could only imagine how nervous she was.

Celine listened to her singing her song. She held her breath, like a nervous parent watching her daughter. Her voice and performance was… there were no words to describe it. Tears of happiness were in her eyes. She had just started her career, but she sang like she was a true professional. She knew how to breathe, stand, project her voice, and keep time. The camera went over to see her reaction. It caught her with her hand over her heart. She had pride in her eyes.

She held her arms out at the last beat. The audience gave her a standing ovation, as she bowed. Celine blew her a kiss. She had proven herself as a singer and as a performer. Mike and the band were ecstatic! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

At the after-party, they introduced themselves with a hug. She and Rene both congratulated her on her performance. Thank you! That meant a lot to her. How much training did she have? She did theater and voice lessons while away at school. They were impressed. She joked about practicing for about four hours the day before. They learned that she could play music by ear.

What instruments did she use? She played the guitar and piano. Initially, she wanted to be an alternative country singer but she fought with her label over that. They wanted her to be more pop. She was going to do that just to get them off her back. Then, they decided that her voice was more suited for Adult Contemporary, so they went with that. What label was she on? Warner Music. A couple of her friends were starting an independent label, so she was going to join them.

They had the same issues she had with not having creative control. So by joining them, she would be able to experiment and put out music she wanted to make. They understood what it was like to have to fight for control. Almost every artist did. They were excited to hear more music from her in the future. She thanked them. Before saying goodbye, they took a picture together.

She also got to talk to the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Ricky Martin, who was very impressed she was fluent in Spanish; Whitney Houston, Chris Cornell and Bruce Springsteen. While talking to Chris, she mentioned her friend, Chester who was a fan of his. She took out her phone and called him.

“Hey, Chessy. It’s Bria. I have someone here who wants to talk to you.”

As he was asking her who it was, she handed the phone over to Chris. Did he freak out? Hell yeah! He was cool about it and he talked to him like an old friend. They talked for about twenty minutes. During their conversation, they agreed to meet up sometime. He handed her the phone back while asking if he was always that enthusiastic. Yes. Yes, he was. He laughed.

Phoenix called her and they both cried together tears of happiness after she went somewhere private. He was so proud of her! Was she proud of herself? Yes, she was. Good because she deserved it! The entire night was a dream come true! She didn’t care if it was cliché because it was true. For over a year, they had worked hard to put together an album and now, the hard work had paid off. She wiped her tears away and agreed that it had.

“I love you and I can’t wait to hear all about your night!”

“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Faith Hill and her husband, Tim McGraw saw her coming back to everyone. They also noticed that she had been crying. Was she okay? She laughed. Yes, she had just been talking to her boyfriend on the phone and her tears were ones of happiness. They laughed with her before telling her how well she had done performing. Thank you.

Linkin Park was calling each other about her performance. To say they were proud of her was an understatement! They were all going to see her the following afternoon after she slept in. Mike was still working through his break up with Anna.

He learned her baby wasn’t his. After being caught together too many times, Brad and Rob were forced to come out as a couple. Rob came out as gay while Brad came out as bisexual. They congratulated them and apologized for forcing them to come out.

Chester was up and down, as was his marriage. It wasn’t going to last. He was looking at other women but he had yet to cross the line. Mike invited him to hang out, so he wasn’t alone. It was because of that, they became close friends. Joe was still single. He joked about liking his video games too much to have a girlfriend.

It was very late when Bria got home. She put her award on the kitchen counter before going upstairs, getting her pajamas on and hanging up her dress. After taking off her makeup, she crawled into bed exhausted. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon