#thank you to everyone who has read it/commented on it thus far <3 you have all my love
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Jealousy isn’t quite what Guan Shan felt when Jian Yi returned.
When he’d gotten Zheng Xi’s text — a mere ‘Jian Yi’s back.’, as if Zheng Xi wasn’t rendered half-mute when Guan Shan called him immediately afterward — the feeling had started deep in Guan Shan’s chest, clawing outwards as if rediscovering the world after a period of dormancy. It didn’t hurt, but it took hold of something he forgot existed within him, rattling it back to life despite him believing it was dead.
To his defense, it had spent seven years in the grave. Guan Shan had thrown a fistful of soil atop its polished casket — then another, and another, until it was secured six feet under and he could stand on top of the mound and press his shoe prints into the wet earth and pretend like that meant he’d overcome it. Like he’d gotten the last word.
“I don’t know what I should do,” Zheng Xi had said on the phone, his voice strange. Guan Shan couldn’t tell if he was crying or angry or both. “I don’t know if I’ll let him inside next time. It was a mess. He was so—”
There was a long pause.
“Did you fight?” Guan Shan asked.
Another pause. “No. We didn’t… yell. But he was upset that I was upset that he’s just appeared and I— I didn’t know what to tell him.” He sighed, and Guan Shan could see him with his head in a hand, staring at the floor. “I told him to leave, and he did.”
Guan Shan knew Zheng Xi well enough to recognize that any advice at that moment would fall on deaf ears. The first year of Jian Yi’s disappearance had a violent impact on Zheng Xi, and Guan Shan quickly learned that quiet company was the best medicine. If and when Zheng Xi wanted to talk, Guan Shan would be there. So he said, “I can catch the train.”
Zheng Xi hesitated. “It’s late.”
“I can be there in an hour.”
After a long moment: “Okay.”
They hung up and, pulling on his shoes, Guan Shan ignored the tremble of his hands. He thought of He Tian for the first time in months.
He wondered if it was possible for jealousy to feel like a ghost standing in the corner of the room.
———
continue reading on AO3!
(reblogs greatly appreciated!! <3)
#19 days#tianshan#zhanyi#19 days fic#19 days fanfic#19 days fanfiction#thank you to everyone who has read it/commented on it thus far <3 you have all my love#the creative
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Devil's Snare part.3
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Description: Aemond tests his handmaiden's resolve not to fall in love with him and might just be rewarded for his efforts. But rumours surrounding the dismissal of Aemond's previous handmaiden threaten to derail their budding romance.
Previous part
Writer's note: Thank you so so much to everyone who follows this story. Your comments genuinely make my day 🥺. Aware Aemond has been fighting for his life to get Y/N to love him at an absolutely glacial pace...hopefully this will make up for the slow-burn thus far ;) Also I got carried away so there will definitely be a part 4 if everyone still cares for it.
Warnings: female reader, slight mention of blood/injury detail, slight angst, Aemond has some anger issues, mention of Granny Vhagar, potentially ooc Aemond (though I stand by him being a total sweetheart with the person he loves), so long it's not even funny anymore.
Y/N felt a headache coming on, though she could not tell whether it was from contending with her conflicting feelings for Prince Aemond or if she was coming down with an illness.
Of late, the Prince had become bolder and always seemed to be touching her or inhabiting her space in some small way, as if tethered to her by some string she could not see. Although he never crossed the boundaries of what was appropriate and seemed to always be watching for her response. His hand would graze the small of her back as he reached round her to take a book from his shelves or his fingers would brush against hers as she handed him a goblet of wine. Before, he had always sat across from her in his favoured chair when she came to him with questions of what she was reading with Helaena, or he simply asked her to sit and talk with him. Now he had begun to sit beside her on a chaise, close enough that their arms and thighs pressed together and his knee brushed against hers as he turned towards her to speak.
Only the other day, when the Princess had beckoned him over to look at Y/N's needlepoint on a dress she was mending for Helaena, he had positioned himself right behind her seat, one arm falling upon the arm rest, and leaned over her shoulder close enough for her to feel the reverberation of his chest as he spoke, sending her heart racing. "I am blessed to have a handmaiden that is both pretty and skilled in equal measure, sister." She rarely felt his eye stray from her when they were together in his chambers or Helaena's, and felt his gaze even as they crossed paths in the halls of the Keep during the day.
There were few periods of silence between them as from the moment she entered his chambers, Aemond would be asking her all sorts of questions about herself and about her day. Nothing was too insignificant for he seemed to want to know everything. And so she found herself complaining to him of his brother Aegon's new manservant who had begun to develop airs and graces, ordering the handmaidens about, much to her chagrin. Realising Aemond had been silent for a long time, Y/N began to feel slightly self-conscious she'd been boring him.
"I apologise, my prince. I'm wittering on about nothing."
She turned from him, feigning organising the items on his desk though she had already rearranged them earlier that day. She heard his soft tread approaching her before his hand covered one of hers to stop her movements. "Everything you have to say is important to me." His hand wrapped more fully around her own as he brought their joint hands towards him. Y/N knew she should pull away, that she shouldn't accept such intimate touches from the Prince, but she couldn't bring herself to do so, her own feelings for him having spread like wildfire despite her best intentions. Aemond graced her with a conspiratorial grin, leaning down to chase her eyes as they nervously flitted from him to the tapestries over his shoulder. "Would you like me to dispatch him for you?"
Y/N snorted at his jest and immediately covered her mouth with her free hand, embarassed that the sound had escaped her in front of the Prince. Aemond only chuckled and pulled her hand from her mouth so he had both gripped in between them. "Pease do not try to suppress your laughter around me, little one. I am gladdened to have been the cause of such a sweet sound." Y/N was certain she was blushing furiously at the Prince's attentions. Seeming to sense that his handmaiden was feeling overwhelmed, Aemond gently squeezed her hands before releasing her, only to raise his hand to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. "I hope to see you in the morning, Y/N, before I leave to train. That will be all for this evening." Y/N only nodded at the Prince, slightly dazed by his tender touch as she gazed at his handsome features. She found herself wanting to trace the contours of his face with her hand, to run her fingers along his cheekbone. Aemond's smile only grew in response, prompting Y/N to inwardly shake herself and turn to leave. When she reached the door she chanced a glance back to find him still watching her as if expecting her to turn back to him. His knowing smirk had her quickly flipping back round to exit his chambers.
As the morning sun cast a warm glow upon the Red Keep and its inhabitants began to waken, Aemond awaited the arrival of his lovely handmaiden to see him off before he left for the training yard. He was satisfied with the progress he had made to endear Y/N to him. Since he'd realised she at least harboured some attraction for him, he'd continuously tried to test the waters of her feelings, hoping with time their currents should strengthen into something more substantial, that she would come to reciprocate his love for her. He did not wish to make Y/N uncomfortable, ever aware of her shyness, or for her to feel duty bound to accept his touch. So he analysed her reactions carefully each time he initiated any physical contact with her or paid her compliments. Every time she simply blushed as he purposefully brushed his arm against hers, instead of shifting away from him, a gratified smile would ghost onto his face. Her reactions renewed him with confidence, assuring him that his attentions were not unwanted, his pursuit of her not without hope.
Looking up with a smile as the door to his chambers opened, his face fell as a different handmaiden entered than the one his heart yearned for. A heavy feeling of dread came over him almost immediately. Had something happened to Y/N. Was she unwell? Had she been mysteriously dismissed as his previous handmaiden had been? When the new handmaiden could not provide him with an explanation of Y/N's absence, he stormed from the room in the hopes that his sister Helaena might have knowledge of Y/N's whereabouts.
"Do you know where Y/N is? She did not attend to her duties this morning."
Helaena looked up from the tapestry she was sewing, alarmed by the abruptness of her brother's arrival and the slightly demanding tone of his questioning. "She complained of a headache yesterday and I sent her back to the servant's quarters to rest when she felt well enough to stand. Mayhaps it still ails her."
Aemond felt his chest constrict with worry and his voice came out quieter than he would have liked at his fears having been realised. "She is unwell? Should I go to her, ensure she is comfortable and being cared for?"
Helaena rose to take his hand "Most assuredly not, brother. It would only raise unwanted questions from the household staff and Y/N should be left to rest. Perhaps send her a token of your affectation instead, do you know which flowers she favours?"
Aemond nodded at her suggestion, his sister was wise and he trusted her judgement, though he knew others were quick to ignore her. "Of course, she has expressed a preference for bluebells."
Helaena's eyes glazed over as she considered this and Aemond patiently waited for her to share what she was thinking. "I believe you can find some on the eastern side of the Blackwater. I spotted them while flying overhead with Dreamfyre."
Aemond swiftly raised his sister's hand to his lips.
"Thank you, sister. I will ride out with Vhagar hence."
At the scratchy feel of her throat that had swiftly accompanied her headache, and the nausea that washed over Y/N in Helaena's room, she realised she was in fact ill. Awaking the next morning, she felt even worse than she had the day before, finding it difficult to move her head without pain and she groaned quietly as she rose from her bed to prepare for the day. It took her one attempt to stand to realise she would not be able to work that day, as a wave of dizziness sent the room spinning and she fell ungracefully back onto her bed.
"You look terrible. Are you sick?"
Y/N raised her head just enough to look at her friend Celeste.
"I feel terrible too. Can you ask the matron to find a replacement handmaiden for me today?"
Celeste nodded before grinning at Y/N. "Oh but how will Prince Aemond do without his favourite handmaiden?"
"I don't know what you mean" Y/N rolled her eyes at her friend, causing her to scoff.
"Don't give me that. I've seen the way he looks at you when we pass him in the halls." Y/N blinked in surprise that anyone else had noticed Aemond's regard for her, that it was not just a figment of her wishful thinking.
"How does he look at me?"
"Y/N, he only looks at you. I rarely see him cast his gaze elsewhere."
Y/N suddenly felt grateful for her fever, as she was able to use it as an excuse for her flushed cheeks.
A light tap against the door of her shared room woke Y/N in the late afternoon. Pulling herself up, though her limbs felt heavy as lead, she opened the door to be met by a young squire holding a large bouquet of bluebells.
"Prince Aemond wished these to be delivered to you."
Carefully taking the flowers from the squire and thanking him, she shut the door. Leaning down to smell the fragrant perfume of her flowers, Y/N smiled at the Prince's thoughtfulness and care for her.
Aemond felt sick with worry, he'd not heard any news of Y/N for days and he was beginning to think he'd have to fall back back on his original plan to go down to the servant's quarters and check on Y/N himself. The soft click of his chamber door opening had his head snapping up as it did everytime, just in case it was Y/N. His heart soared at the sight of the very object of his thoughts on the threshold. Aemond strode up to her, taking her smaller hand in both of his, his expression one of gentle concern.
"Have you been very unwell?"
His handmaiden looked somewhat bashful under his steady gaze, but he found he could not look away, even to save her from embarrassment. His eye flitted rapidly over her face to memorise her features oncemore, not having seen her in several days.
"I am well now, I apologise for my absence." Y/N titled her head up to smile softly at him, causing his heart to stutter. "I must thank you for the flowers you sent. They were beautiful and brightened my day."
Aemond squeezed her hand gently in response, his heart gladdened that his gift had been so well received. He leant down to whisper teasingly in her ear.
"I will gladly bring you as many flowers as should please you if you will only smile at me so prettily."
Aemond chuckled at the look of shock on his handmaiden's face, releasing her from his hold and grabbing his sword, giving her a chance to collect herself. "I am headed to meet with Ser Criston, but I hope to continue our conversation later."
Aemond paid no mind to the audience that had gathered as he continued to parry every blow that Ser Criston levelled at him. His concentration was broken, however, when he spotted his handmaiden in his peripheral vision walking through the training yard, basket in hand. He noted that she had stopped to watch and threw himself into the duel with greater fervour, wishing to impress her. In a brief moment of distraction, as he redirected his attention back to Y/N to gauge her reaction to his swordsmanship, Criston's sword nicked his torso. Aemond hissed in pain, looking down to see blood beginning to spread across his tunic, though he did not think it could be deep. Criston lowered his sword immediately, panicked at having actually injured Aemond, who he'd come to see almost like a son. He had expected him to block his blow easily, not having counted on the Prince's distraction.
Y/N ran to Prince Aemond's chambers, tripping over her skirts in her haste. She'd heard of his injury in the training yard and could barely contain her concern as news of it flew about the Keep. She felt a flash of embarrassment as she remembered how she'd stopped to watch Prince Aemond duel with Ser Criston, impressed by his skill as he seemed to dance around his opponent. Though she'd left before he had been injured and needed to confirm for herself that he was not badly harmed. Flinging open the door without knocking, she burst into the room panting for breath. "My Prince, are you..."
The rest of Y/N's words got away from her as her eyes fell upon the Prince in question sitting on the edge of his bed, shirtless. She cast her eyes over the Prince's bandaged chest and torso, looking for his injury, but realised she'd been staring for far longer than was appropriate and quickly looked back up at his face to find him smirking at her. He could not be so gravely injured if he was still able to manage that, Y/N thought, embarassed by her own wandering eyes.
"Come here, Y/N."
Aemond's voice pulled Y/N towards him without her ever realising she'd been moving, although she stopped at a respectable distance away from him.
"Closer Y/N, I will not bite."
Y/N grew immediately suspicious of the mirth in the Prince's good eye and his teasing tone, but she took the final few tentative steps until she was positioned directly in front of him.
Aemond positively grinned up at her. "You are welcome to look."
Y/n's mouth fell open in shock at his meaning and she was certain she must look like a fish with her gawking. The Prince gave her no time to refute his allegation of staring, though in truth she had been. She could not deny even to herself that she found him beautiful.
"It is your fault after all." This startled her. How could he blame her for his injury? She had not swung the sword at him.
"My fault? What can you mean, My Prince?"
"I was merely distracted by your beauty, a stroke of luck for Ser Criston who could not have bested me otherwise."
Y/N took the time to swallow thickly, feeling slightly dizzy.
"You should not say such things, it is inappropriate. You are a Prince and I am a servant girl."
Aemond surveyed her for a moment, his eye trained on her face as he looked up at her.
"Does it make you uncomfortable?"
Y/N knew she should tell Aemond that yes, it did make her uncomfortable, pretend she didn't feel anything for him. That would have been the sensible thing to do. But she could not bring herself to lie anymore. Not when he was looking at her as if she placed the moon and the stars in the sky each night. Rather, as if she were both the moon and the stars for him.
"No."
"Then I do not care."
Aemond snaked a hand around her waist and pulled her towards him so abruptly that their knees knocked together and her hands fell onto his bare shoulders to steady herself. When he received no objection from the lady, Aemond wrapped his other arm around Y/N and pulled her down onto his lap. Tilting his head down, his nose grazing against her collarbone, he spoke against her skin.
"I always want you this close."
The door opened abruptly as the maestor entered the threshold. Y/N rose quickly, practically ripping herself from Aemond's arms, cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the position he'd found her in with the Prince. Head down to avoid seeing the judgement in the maestor's eyes, she sped past him without looking back. Though she still heard Aemond angrily shouting at the maestor for "scaring her" as she strode down the hall and an involuntary smile rose on her face.
Y/N tried to clear her thoughts of Aemond, but the terrible rumour she'd just been made privy to by Helaena's maid sent all of the feelings she'd tried so hard to repress bubbling back up to the surface. She had just begun to give into his pursuit of her only to find out he had pursued his previous handmaiden in the same manner, leaving her with child and dismissed from the household staff, so the rumours went. In hindsight, she'd been foolish to believe the Prince could ever truly care for her, feel anything deeper for her than mere attraction. Perhaps it was the chase itself he valued and she felt an uncharacteristic rage rise within her at such callousness.
Brusquely entering the Prince's chambers, she ignored the way his eyes lit up at the sight of her and the way he rose to greet her from where he'd been reading. She pretended not to notice, side stepping him with a simple "Good evening, My Prince", to begin lighting candles, the light of the day having waned. Aemond caught her wrist, stopping her in her movements, and gently turned her towards him.
"Has something happened? Have I done something to displease you for you to act so distant?" He raised his hand to brush some hair out of her eyes but Y/N recoiled from his touch, side stepping him again.
"I do not wish you to touch me. I have been made aware of your last handmaiden's fate and do not seek to follow her."
Aemond's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his jaw clenching. "I do not know of what you speak, Y/N."
Y/N heard her own anger and sense of betrayal seeping into her biting retort. "Would you so soon forget her? Did she not bear your child. Was she not promptly dismissed by the Queen for it?"
As her words registered, Aemond's face blazed with indignation and he spoke through gritted teeth.
"You think me such a villain? That I would be capable of such depravity?"
"I do not pretend to know the ways of a Prince."
Aemond's voice was colder than she had ever heard it, though tinged by a note of insecurity. "I never did such a thing. Indeed, I have no idea as to why my mother dismissed the handmaiden, only that it was not of my own doing."
Y/N searched his face for the truth of his denial, but she could not find it within herself to believe the Prince could want her when he could have a noble lady or a princess if he wished. And she could not shake her suspicions as a result.
"It does not make sense for you to have behaved as you have towards me. What possible other reason could you have for pursuing a lowly servant girl?"
"So this is what you think of me? That I am a monster who preys on the hearts of young maidens only to ruin them?"
Y/N startled at the unbridled rage on the Prince's face. When Aemond's fist swung out and connected with the nearby cabinet Y/N shrieked and turned her head to the side, bracing for a blow that never came. A few moments of silence passed before she dared to look up. Aemond was looking at her with his mouth parted in shock as if she had struck him instead. "Did you think I would strike you?" His voice came out softer now, though this did no good to calm her nerves, which were still on high alert. She tried to brush away the tears that were rapidly forming and causing her vision to blur, not wanting to feel any more vulnerable than she already did. At the sight of her tears, Aemond took a step towards her, his arms held out as if to comfort her. "Please don't cry my love, I would never harm you." She took a frantic step away from him, cowering against the wall closest to the door. A look of acute pain fell across Aemond's face and he halted where he stood, arms falling back down to his side. She could see his fingers twitch slightly, as if it was only with a concerted effort that he was able to stay where he stood instead of going to her. Y/N hated the note of hysteria that laced her voice as she breathlessly gasped out her next words. "Can I leave?"
Aemond's head fell and she heard him take a sharp intake of breath before looking back into her eyes. His movements slow and considered, he opened the door for her and stepped aside to let her pass, though she heard a slight tremble in his voice. "I would never keep you here against your will." Y/N judged that he was telling the truth from the sincerity in his eye and all but ran from his chambers.
When Y/N entered his chambers the next morning, Aemond tried to apprehend her to apologise, to ask for her forgiveness. He had felt so hurt, so angry that there was a possibility Y/N should think of him as negatively as others seemed to, when he valued her opinion of him above all others. He'd purposefully made himself a formidable warrior, someone to be feared and respected, in response to the indignities and abuse he faced as a child. But he had never wanted Y/N to be afraid of him. He had only spoken her name before she rushed out "I only came to make my survey of the room and take the empty goblets, My Prince." Aemond was silenced by the trace of panic in her voice, how she should feel so afraid that she flew about the room to complete her duties and be free of him as soon as possible.
The following day Aemond had looked up hopefully at the sound of his door to see another maid entirely enter his chambers. On the third evening, Aemond did not expect to see Y/N, beginning to fear she might never feel comfortable to seek him out again. He resolved that if another day passed he would have to storm down to the servant's quarters to apologise to her if she would not come to him. It had been torture to be without her, so accustomed was he to seeing her everyday, and he felt he could go mad from missing her. Worse still was the knowledge that he had frightened her so severely that she should think he would harm her. The very thought struck horror into his heart and his head fell into his hands.
Y/N felt somewhat cowardly feigning illness so she did not have to see Aemond, another maid stepping in to fulfill her duties instead. But she had learnt the truth of his previous handmaiden's departure from the Princess Helaena, that she had indeed fallen pregnant, but with the child of her sweetheart who she promptly married. And now she felt ashamed at having levelled such awful accusations at the Prince. He had only ever been kind and a gentleman to her, only ever respected her boundaries and made sure she was comfortable with each one of his advances. Surely he would not wish to see her again. And yet she felt she must at least apologise for her part before requesting a new post.
Around the Hour of the Bat, a slight creak of wood alerted Aemond to his chamber door opening. He shot up from his seated position at seeing his beloved standing in the doorframe, her hand gripping the handle as if prepared to bolt at the slightest provocation. He cursed himself at his rapid movements, which had caused Y/N's eyes to widen and her to take a step back away from him. He wished he could pull her to him, hold her and tell her over and over that he would never harm her. But he knew that assuring her of this would require a much more delicate approach. Her name fell from his lips as a reverant whisper "Y/N."
Something in his expression or voice seemed to calm Y/N enough for her to softly close the door behind her and take a few tentative steps forward. Though, with grief in his heart, he noted how she would not meet his eye. Her voice came out so quiet and timid he could hardly bear the evidence of the fear he had wrought in the one person he wished to protect and care for above all else. "You are not still angry?"
Aemond took one step forward and then another as he watched carefully for any signs of distress, aware she was like to be flighty. He approached until he was close enough to touch her, though he refrained from doing so just yet. "I was wrong to raise my voice at you, and to lash out so that you should think I would strike you. Your misapprehensions were entirely understandable and I bitterly regret being so blinded by anger that should never have been directed at you, the one I love."
Y/N's eyes shot up at his words, her brows pulled together quizzically. "You love me?"
Aemond smiled sadly down at her. "I adore you. I am sorry indeed if I have not expressed this clearly enough."
Gently taking one of her hands in his own he started to pull her towards the chaise in the centre of the room. She followed without complaint but still looked wary of him. Once she was sat, he knelt before her and took both of her hands in his this time. Aemond tried to endow each of his words with weight to express the truth of his love for her as he gazed into her face. "If you can find it in yourself to forgive me Y/N, I will make you a promise now that I will never again raise my voice to you, nor will I ever comport myself in such a brutish manner before you. I would never harm you, my sweet girl" He slowly raised a hand to rest it on her cheek. "You are most precious to me. I wish only to see you happy and safe, for you to let me love you. If you permit it I would make you my Lady Wife. But, if you do not think you can ever feel safe in my presence again and you wish to part from me I will try to bear it."
Aemond feared he had mispoken when Y/N's eyes watered until her head fell forward to rest on his shoulder. His hands rose up slowly to hold her against him, one hand tenderly placed against the back of her head. He waited patiently for Y/N to speak but felt relief roll over him at the thought that she had looked to him for comfort. "I love you, Aemond."
He gripped her to him tighter, feeling that no words could be sweeter to him. He had hoped for so long to hear her say those words, for her to return his love and yet now he still feared he might lose her. Aemond tried not to panic and hold Y/N more steadfastly against him as she pulled back to look at him seriously, seemingly now in control of her emotions, her face level with his. "I want to trust you, to trust in your intentions. I will believe you if you say you love me as I know now that I was wrong about your previous handmaiden. But you must realise I am a servant. Can you really wish to marry me? "
Aemond beamed at Y/N as he realised she did not wish to cast him aside, that he could still acquit himself to her and prove his intentions. Smiling at her, his eye softening, he raised his arms to place them on either side of her. "It is my greatest and most earnest desire that you become my wife. You would no longer be a servant but my Lady" He hesitated for a moment, thinking of how he could put into words his devotion to her. "I wish only to continue in your light." Aemond lightly trailed a hand down her arm, his heart beating erratically as he awaited Y/N's answer. Aemond stilled as she raised her own hand to rest against his cheek, worried that the slightest movement from him would cause her to reconsider her actions. Leaning into her hand he placed his own atop to hold hers in place and briefly closed his eyes in bliss at her touch so willingly given. "Then I will marry you."
Aemond wasted no time in sweeping Y/N back into his arms, letting out a laugh as the pressing weight of her potential rejection lifted, leaving behind only joy in her acceptance of his love. When he felt her gently push against his shoulders he immediately pulled back, concerned he'd somehow misread the situation and only dreamed she had agreed to marry him. His mind quickly quietened at her loving gaze, only to begin racing again as she unexpectedly pressed a chaste peck to his lips. Y/N had hoped to convey her own feelings for Aemond by initiating a kiss, but she immediately felt embarassed at her own inexperience, sure she had not done it correctly. Aemond was only too happy to take control, feeling an overwhelming sense of affection rise in him at her innocent gesture and the bashful look on her face. Smiling at her, he pulled her to him to capture her lips with his. Aemond tightened his hold on her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him closer.
If you got this far you're a legend. Thank you so much for reading. I have ideas for at least another part so pls let me know if you want me to continue.
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Hello! Just want to start this off by saying that I love your blog and I find your posts very informative. I’m a sucker for character analysis and you manage to do it very well.
I had a question about the language aspect of Twisted Wonderland. I saw a screenshot of the novel and in it, it talked about how the Yuuya felt that their words were being translated automatically. Is this a novel only thing? Does the language aspect get explored further past that one page in the novels? Why are their words getting translated and yet other phrases in other languages are not(Rook’s French)? What are your thoughts about this and do you know of any popular discourse surrounding this topic?
My apologies if this is something you’ve talked about before.
Hello hello! Thank you for this question, you are too kind!! m(_ _)m
(For everyone's reference, here is the paragraph in question!)
1. Is this a novel only thing? Thus far this explanation of how Yuuya is able to communicate in Twisted Wonderland has appeared only in the novel, with no mention to similar systems at work in the game or manga!
Yuuya is even capable of reading his textbooks! While it is all vocabulary with which he is unfamiliar he is still able to comprehend the words on the pages, which he possibly wouldn't be able to do without the translation taking place.
(An example might be someone who only speaks French being able to read text written in Japanese but still struggling with unfamiliar magic terms that they wouldn't have understood in their native language anyway.)
2. Does the language aspect get explored further past that one page in the novels?
This aspect has yet to be explored, referenced or even mentioned beyond the one paragraph listed above!
And this lack of an explanation is fascinating 📝 There is no line by Crowley of "Yes there is a translation spell on the island," or "Everyone who arrives through their respective gate is blessed by the Dark Mirror with the ability to understand and be understood," or anything at all!
We are not even given a hint that Crowley--or anyone--knows it is happening. All we have is the one thought from the perspective of a confused Yuuya trying to make sense of his situation.
3. Why are their words getting translated and yet other phrases in other languages are not(Rook’s French)?
We do not know! 🥳 And Rook is not alone, with other characters occasionally using untranslated English-language words both in the game and novel (novel-Ace says "Thank you" in English, novel-Sam says "Hey," etc.)
Is it possible that the system does not replace words that the listener recognizes? Is Rook actually speaking French 100% of the time, but as the prefect recognizes words such as "oui" and beauté," they are not being filtered?
4. What are your thoughts about this and do you know of any popular discourse surrounding this topic?
I found this thread on twstsoku where someone suggests that the cast all understands one another and it is only Yuuya who is having what he says and hears translated for him in real time.
Ideas from other commenters are:
1. "Hypothetically, for example: If Esperanto, which is based on Latin, were used as the common language, and the translation magic worked depending on the native language's distance from it:
German speakers, Japanese speakers → translation needed (as determined by the magic)
Italian speakers → translation not very necessary (as determined by the magic)
French speakers → grammatically, translation is almost unnecessary (as determined by the magic), but their speech is the hardest to understand.
Something like that? Just an example, though."
2. "Wasn't there a part in Ruggie's birthday outfit story where he said he memorized greetings in 10 different languages?"
And I found a similar thread from 2021 (before the novel was released) on this topic, where commenters were discussing whether or not Twst's common language is meant to be English:
1. "OP here, I personally don’t think it’s a common language with the real world, so I hadn’t considered it much.
But if it’s English, that means Twisted Wonderland has a geography and history similar to the real world, with just different country names, etc. I won’t go into too much detail, but English is a branch of the Germanic languages within the Indo-European family, and it contains a lot of words derived from neighboring Western European countries. So, it wouldn’t be English as we know it today unless they followed the same geographical and historical path.
Alternatively, it could be a wholly fantastical world without a history of its own, which just popped into existence one day.
Personally, I’d feel a bit disappointed with both ideas—either that Twisted Wonderland is exactly the same as the real world or that it just popped up suddenly. I’d prefer to think of it as a world with a different language."
2. "If we’re talking about the development of language, it’s not a coincidence that there’s food in Twisted Wonderland identical to what exists in the real world. If Twisted Wonderland is a mirror of our world, it wouldn’t be surprising if they walked a similar historical path."
3. "That’s true! When you think about the design of their clothes, smartphones, and other scientific equipment, it makes sense. So either they followed a similar history, or we’re not meant to think too deeply about it as a fantasy world—those seem like the two options. Hmm, tough choice."
4. "If there were translation magic, there would be no need to study animal linguistics."
5. "Azul’s contract → written in English Words Rook sometimes uses → in French In Ghost Marriage, the opening of Rook’s poem is “I love you” → in Japanese The prefect understands the language → So, is there translation magic? Epel’s dialect isn’t understood → So, there isn’t translation magic?
It’s turning into a bit of a chaotic language situation."
6. "In the beans event, there’s a part where Jamil’s bento is brought up and some says 'that's what they're called in other places,' so it seems pretty decided that there are different languages across regions. But maybe we’re not supposed to think too deeply about it."
--
These are all fascinating points! ^^ Epel is a particular outlier ashis original dialect is, by design, almost incomprehensible (on JP), but maybe whatever translation is going on just does not have his particular village's speech patterns loaded into it? 🧐
Or maybe as a "mirror" to the real world, everyone actually is using Japanese with the occasional English and French outliers, but the language itself is mirrored--they're speaking backwards--and the filter is merely putting words front-to-back for the prefect to understand? ^^ So many possibilities!
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Thank you so much for tagging me @jules-writes-stories @highlordofkrypton @achaotichuman
1. How many works do you have on AO3? I'm a but a wee babe in the ao3 world so just 7 but I have several WIP's that are on pause currently. I had originally had a fic planned for each day of Eris week but haven't been able to write in awhile so might be some time before those are published but once I start posting again you can expect Eris chaos to reign.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 36,487 I struggle to write long chapters and most of my works end up being around 2,500.
3. What fandoms do you write for? A Court of Thorns and Roses
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Shadows of Regret and Redemption| Azris - My first published work. A oneshot that grew legs and started to run. I am not completely happy with it thus far but I have the end plotted and I'm excited to eventually bring that to life.
Daughter of Autumn | Azris - Now this one absolutely shocked me with its popularity. Started as a fun little drabble for Gwyn Week 2024 and of course turned into Azris central.
The Beginning and End of Friendship | Azris - So many people screaming in the comments at me on this one. More screaming to come when I post part two I’m sure.
Two Souls Entangled| Azris - A tiny part of my soul via a short poem for Azris Week 2024.
Heaven Help the Fool Who Falls In Love: The End | Azris - This is the first piece I wrote for fanfiction and it is my precious baby. Only one chapter posted but I have several in need of editing before I publish the remainder. It's very heavy and I haven't had the mental space to read through it again.
5. Do you respond to comments? Every single one! They bring me so much joy. I have currently stayed away from my comment section for my own mental health but when I start posting again I will get back to everyone's comments, promise.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? All of my works are fairly heavy on the angst. TBaEoF comes to mind but I think for published works I’ll go with The Ending of Darkness which is a short little piece about @jules-writes-stories OC Mithras x Sylvan which I have a part 2 almost completed which is equally as angsty (sorry). Unpublished works definitely The Burning of Leaves and The Death of Shadows which are two fics I had planned for Eris week but are currently on pause (poor Eris I was really putting him through the wringer for Eris Week).
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Daughter of Autumn. Mostly because Cassian has the closing line and he just always says the darndest things.
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have not, nor do I plan on it. Please don’t hate me 😅 Just not my writing jam. I love finding unique ways to explore a relationship and conveying those same emotions and feelings without the smut. That being said some of my favourite stories and authors use smut as such a wonderful exploratory storytelling device and it is delightful. I love reading others contributions to the smutsphere. So so many talented writers out there giving us all our smuttiest dreams. I truly do not think that my smut contribution is even necessary when you have things like To Become a Vanssera by @acourtofladydeath and Why Not Me by @thomasisaslut both absolutely rife with smut and use it beautifully to convey their story (albiet in very different ways).
9. Do you write crossovers? Not yet, and probably not ever because I can hardly keep up with writing ideas I have for one fandom.
10. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.
11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it sounds delightful.
12. What is your all-time favorite ship? Azris most definitely for writing. I definitely have a big soft spot for Samwise and Rosie from LOTR (my husband is Samwise reincarnated and I am irrevocably in love with him). I have a WIP for Thesan and his lover and that dynamic and storyline has been so incredibly fun to explore as well.
13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started writing a Tarquin UTM oneshot that is incomplete and while I am still in love with the story I really struggled with writing the voice of Tarquin. This one will only ever get finished if I can finally figure out the right tone for this man’s internal dialogues.
14. What are your writing strengths? I have been told my writing reads like poetry which is one of the biggest compliments you could ever give me. I also love writing parallels but there’s definitely a lot of room for improvement there.
15. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing haha. But actually, I find that my characters voices don’t feel very distinct and that there is a lot of overlap in the way they speak and think and it can be hard to distinguish who’s talking/thinking. I feel like my characters resemble a cookie cutter suburban neighborhood where the walls and trim might be a different colour but they’re all built exactly the same. If anyone has some tips please feel free to comment or message me!
16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I absolutely love reading it but unfortunately the only other language I know isn’t really a language at all. Pidgin, which is basically just native slang. I was playing around with it in my Tarquin fic a bit but seemed a tad too niche.
17. First fandom you wrote for? LOTR in middle school. I have a printed multi chapter booklet that is a rewrite of Sam and Frodo’s journey through Mordor that I made for my English class one year.
18. Favorite fic you’ve written? My favourite multi chapter by another author is undoubtedly A Court of Shadows and Ashes by @futurehunt Mother Save Us From Your Twisted fate by @chunkypossum which got a stunning part 2 for Eris Week this year! My favorite of my own published works is either HHtFWFiL:TE or The Ending of Darkness. Of my unpublished works honesty The Burning of Leave or The Death of Shadows are both strong contenders. For non Azris I have a Beron fic WIP for @sjmvillainweek day 1 that will probably get prioritized over the other two.
No pressure tags (and sorry if you've already been tagged): @the-darkestminds @born-to-riot @chairofchaos @thomasisaslut @chunkypossum @acourtofladydeath @shadowsandlint
#tags with stars#tag game#acotar#azris#gwynweek2024#erisweek2024#azrisweek2024#eris vanserra#tarquin acotar#thesan acotar
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Hello!
I very much enjoyed reading your theories about Devil’s Minion so if you don’t mind I’ll add some thoughts? Would love to hear what you think! I’ve found some hints online - so there might be spoilers so feel free to skip obviously if you’d prefer!
1. I agree that if Daniel is turned it’s going to be Armand who does it. Nothing else really makes sense to me, especially since the show has emphasized the maker-fledgling bound to such an extent. Armand’s possessive tendencies have also revealed themselves already. If Armand wants Daniel to be turned, I don’t think he would feel comfortable having anyone else do it.
2. I don’t believe Daniel will be turned this season. Listening to EB on a podcast recently he made a comment, following explaining how wanting to play a vampire basically lead him to the show, about how on these shows almost everyone who is around vampires gets turned in the end. Which is true, but more importantly this kind of speculation and the way EB spoke about it made it sound like this hasn’t happened to Daniel yet. That he doesn’t actually know if and when Daniel is getting turned.
3. I do think however that Daniel might be bitten. Can’t really justify it, but I feel like something will happen to Daniel in the finale. Might be bitten by a vampire, maybe by Armand - maybe this triggers some more memories. Thus far Daniel’s memories have been triggered by similar noises/actions. In episode two when Louis started recounting the facts of a “shameful” memory this triggers Armand doing the same in San Francisco. In episode four Armand leaning forward and the noises of Louis slamming the binders of photos on the floor seem to heighten his memory of Armand walking around in that room/leaning towards him etc. I’ve seen some speculation about a medical event happening, but I’m unsure. I just feel something will happen…
4. When asked in an interview with the Nerdist EB replied when asked if viewers will see anything of Daniel and Armand’s complex relationship this season: ”We’re going to have to leave that to your imagination because there is a lot coming. But I guarantee there will be some cool stuff happening by the end of the second season”. And: “But, it’s also going to be heavy. There’s going to be a lot of heaviness.” This could just be the trauma and torture of episode five but I would say it seems to hint that something will happen in the season finale between them - or something will be revealed. The romantic in me think it’s revealed that they were in love, that some of Daniel’s memories of Armand has been mixed up with Alice and that the feeling freer in Paris thing might be about Daniel’s internalized homophobia. He felt freer in Paris because either it was long away from home (so no one would know him) or because Paris was less homophobic (not sure if accurate though). And Armand might have had someone who saw him at his worst but still loved him, i.e someone who loved and accepted him fully. The heaviness could then be the separation, be it due to Daniel’s addiction, want to be immortal, Armand believing him to be better off living a full life - or something completely different. All of this does however sound a little to wholesome in a way for iwtv tbh. So to adjust expectations, the comments could very well just be about Daniel’s trauma in episode five.
What do you think? Also, if you would speculate where do you think the show is going next with the DM relationship? What would you like to see? Thank you!
Hi! Thanks so much for sending your thoughts. Let’s discuss!
1. Yes! I think the majority know this will stay the same. They haven’t changed anyone’s maker as of yet so why start now?
2. No, he won’t be turned. I’ll reference Rolin’s words from last week when answering a question at the Texas panel. It seems a lot of stuff is up in the air regarding DM and he exasperated the point that it’s three books ahead. So, in saying this, we know he wants to do TVL for season 3 meaning QotD would be season 4 (possibly). Of course they could change things but I think he wanted to really drive home the point that they have a lot to do to get to the point of Daniel being turned.
3. Going back to one of my theories, I do think Daniel’s SF memories will be a big trigger for Louis. Learning the extent of what happened might really upset him (whether it was his attack on Daniel or what Armand proceeded to do). As for the sounds triggering memories, this is a great point! And it seemed every glance at Armand triggered Daniel’s memories.
So about the medical event… I’ve seen people theorize Louis will attack Daniel. I genuinely don’t think this will happen but if Daniel were to be hurt (book falling scene in trailers), I could see either Vampire rushing to his aid. I’d say only Armand would but I think Louis cares for him enough to help him.
4. Okay, so when I hear heaviness I hear trauma, I hear broken hearts, I hear a LOT. I think a lot of Daniel’s trauma will be addressed next episode or even episode 6, so what is left for the final two episodes? Revelations. The interview is ending, Armand and Louis’ relationship is probably ending, but the rest is kind of… unknown. The trial is happening episode 7 and the secrecy of the title of episode 8 and what even happens has my brain scrambled. The “surprise character” Rolin (?) mentioned appears at the end of the season is likely Lestat or someone else entirely.
So what’s left regarding Armand and Daniel? I think a lot of people want to see Armand as controlling and straight up evil, but in the books HE left Louis. He left Louis because his (Louis) passion for anything was gone and Armand knew there was nothing he could do to fix that and it was dead in the water. Who is there to turn to? The flame whose memories you erased? I could see Daniel comforting him and so begins the chase (again).
Of course that last part is just a theory but I think this is the “end of the season” event that might happen. Daniel is a different person now. The internalized homophobia of his youth is gone. He’s an old man with all the triggers that come with it. He’s twice divorced and an empty nester. What’s there to lose? I always go back to the first scene of Daniel and how bored and over it he was with his life.
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Fic Roundup!
@summer-of-bad-batch is over, 26 prompts over 13 weeks, plus 2 bonus prompts to celebrate the 200 & 300 follower milestones. The time just flew by! Here's a quick roundup of how it went...
Your favourite fic:-
Far and away this was i'm not trying to replace you (only hold on to your memory), for the bonus prompt "Can you braid my hair?". This was my first (and thus far only) fic ever to break 100 notes on Tumblr, clearly you were all here for the Hunter & Omega missing Tech feels! I poured a lot of love into this fic so I'm really glad you all liked it :)
Honourable mentions go to Hunter and Crosshair winding each other up in "It's just a scratch", your second favourite, and to i reach for you in the night (you're still my brother after all) and "Just when were you planning on telling us that?", both tied for 3rd place!
My favourite fic:-
Hmm, I'm not sure I have one this time? There were lots of them I enjoyed writing! There was "I didn't think [we] would get this far", the fic that started life under the name TechPhee Diamonds, and "R.O.U.S.'s", another fic in the Stardust Universe! I also loved writing Mayday, Veetch and Hexx (and later Fives and Echo) enjoying the sea on Pabu... and let's not forget the prompt that started it all, Water Gun Fight!
And now for the stats:-
Total Word Count This Month - approximately 30,000 Longest Fic - Radio Silence, 4090 words Shortest Fic - "Get out of my room!", 310 words New Followers - 37 I think?! (I'm so excited to have you along and I hope you've enjoyed the stories!)
Future Plans?
Now the weekly prompts are over, it's back to my big fics! I've got Pieces Of The People We Love Part 4 to write, ideas in the back of my mind for Adrenaline Crash: Savage (part of the Savage Hunter series), and my ongoing Beach Days & Hair Braiding timeline. And I absolutely won't get distracted by other prompt events. Not this time. I think...
Have you enjoyed the stories? Wish you could read more? Drop by and say hi, it's remarkable how often you shake loose a new idea which turns into a follow-up fic... or you can always drop a request in my ask box! :)
Lastly a huge thank you to everyone who has followed, reblogged, commented, and liked my fanfiction this past month. I'm genuinely touched by reading the wonderful comments you have left, and it's so fun to know you've enjoyed reading my stories as much as I've enjoyed telling them! Thank you for all your support! <3
Don't forget to check out my Summer of Bad Batch Masterpost for a list of everything I wrote for this event! :D
#summerofbadbatch2024#fic roundup#the bad batch#tbb fanfic#prompt challenge#summer prompt challenge#just_thoughts
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The Only One - Part 7: Immoral Comfort
Welp...Part 7, here we are. This is the part I started way before I even wrote Part 1, because I was in a Mood™. I originally thought this was going to be a 3 part story, but it looks like it's gonna be something closer to 12. Tbh, I didn't expect anyone to be interested in this fic because it was such a niche, back-of-the-brain thought. So, thank you to everyone who's made it this far with me and taken the time to leave comments!
I know it's been forever since I updated this, but I hope there are at least a few people who are still interested. I had a very specific way that I wanted things to happen in this chapter and I was being a little too picky about the details, so my apologies for the delay! If you want to be added to or removed from my taglist, please let me know!
*Dominionese language pulled from @dominionese-resource and their Dominionese dictionary. If you want me to clarify where I got certain words or phrases, or how I tried (clumsily) to piece them together myself, please feel free to ask. I probably conjugated a few verbs incorrectly or structured things wrong in places, but I tried. Also, the signature mentioned was based off this post on their blog.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Cross-posted to AO3 here.
~*~
Weyoun (ST:DS9) x Reader
[A/N: This has smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]
Warnings: Interspecies sex, Vorta/Human sex, fingering, jealous Dukat, drunkenness, romantic Weyoun, telepathic/empathic connection, mild existential crisis, crying, sorta hurt/comfort? but mostly just stress/comfort, spoilers for S6E4 "Behind the Lines."
~*~
Nearly a month passed from that long, odd day when I met Keevan and his men. I hated having to conceal part of my motives from Weyoun, but I didn’t have much of a choice. There was no way in hell I’d sit idly by while the Changelings took over my home. Major Kira, Odo, and a few others had begun a small resistance cell aboard the station, and so that they wouldn’t jeopardize my mission or I theirs, Kira had ordered me not to attend meetings. I was to keep my ears open and report to her as usual. She was allowing me to help but only in minor ways. Yes, it was important to cause chaos for the Dominion while they were occupying the station, but a position of influence and confidence like I currently held was insanely important for the intelligence gathering task that Starfleet had given me. Hell, I didn’t even know who all the members were.
That was definitely for the best. With the intimacy of the connection that Weyoun and I shared, my lack of knowledge kept myself and the rest of the resistance members safe. I’d have to be content helping in my own little way. Thus far, Dukat trusted me almost as much as Weyoun did, and Damar was slowly coming around to the belief that I wasn’t his enemy. All I had to do now was keep it up and find a way to contact Starfleet Command. Discreetly.
Seated beside each other one evening, Weyoun and I worked on our respective reports. I wasn’t particularly curious about the file he was reading until he picked up a stylus and wrote something. It was an odd group of symbols and marks that I’d never seen before. Without much thought about how rude it probably was, I tilted my head and watched how fluidly his fingers drew the stylus across the data PADD.
“What is that?” I asked quietly, and Weyoun gave me a perplexed look.
“A report about troop movements...?”
“Oh, not the report, I mean this,” I said pointing to the symbols he’d drawn out beneath the final paragraph. A look of understanding washed over him, and he gave me a small smile.
“That is my signature,” he answered simply, and I felt my eyes widen. “Have you not seen Dominionese written out before?”
“I’ve barely heard Dominionese, much less seen it. Is that really your name?” I asked unable to keep the wonder from my voice. I examined the markings a bit more carefully, wondering what each meant in order to form a name as precious as his.
Weyoun set the data PADD aside, picked up an empty one, and wrote the symbols a little neater this time. I watched the way his stylus glided over the PADD’s surface in practiced, fluid movements. When he was finished, he tilted the screen toward me to show me his handiwork, and I couldn’t stop a smile from splitting my lips. The more I looked at the symbols, the harder it became to shake the feeling that I’d seen something like them before.
The pendant! I pulled it out from beneath the collar of my uniform and sure enough, the symbols were similar. The engravings were in Dominionese.
“Weyoun, the pendant you gave me...what does it say?”
“Would you like me to tell you, or would you like me to teach you to read it yourself?” He asked with a twinkle in his eyes, and I felt myself perk up at the implication.
“Would you? I-I mean, are you willing to teach me? I know you’re busy with the station and the war, so I understand if you don’t have the time–” He cut me off with a quick kiss and set the PADD aside as he took my hands in his.
“My dear, I would be honored to teach you the language of your people,” Weyoun murmured. “I’m sure you’ll take to it quite easily. You’ve always been a fast learner, at least from what I’ve seen.”
‘My people.’ Both of us knew they weren’t anything of the sort after what they’d done, but I still appreciated his sentiment. Besides, the hope that he held about a potential reconciliation between myself and the Changelings, while utterly futile, was also incredibly sweet. After all that he'd been through, the fact that he still had hope was just a testament to the strength that the Founders chose not to see in their Vorta followers.
Giving his hands a gentle squeeze, I looked up at the gorgeous purple-eyed being on my sofa. How in the stars did I get so lucky?
Purple blush spread quickly across his cheeks, and Weyoun let out a shy little laugh. Right, the feelings. It had become more natural over the duration of our relationship for us to share our emotions through the strange telepathic connection we'd been granted, but there were still moments where it caught one or both of us off guard.
"As much as I wish I could keep you all to myself tonight and demonstrate exactly how much I adore you, didn't you say you were meeting a friend tonight?" His question pulled me from my reverie, and I blinked in comprehension.
“Computer, what time is it?”
“The time is eighteen-thirty hours,” it responded, and I got to my feet. Shit, he was right, and I was going to be late at this rate.
“Meeting Damar again?” Weyoun asked as he stood, too, and grasped my waist lightly. When I nodded my head, he gave me a gentle smile. “I’m so glad you’re making more friends. I know you were already acquainted with some of the Bajoran officers, but knowing that Keevan and Damar along with some of their officers have become close to you...I’m overjoyed! To tell you the truth, I thought you might feel isolated here given the personnel changes. I-I thought...you might regret staying.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I wrapped my arms around the Vorta’s neck.
“Well, I still feel a little out of place at times, but there are a few people here who’ve been kind to me," I murmured placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. "For the record, you make staying here worth it. As long as I have you, I won't regret leaving Starfleet."
I knew this was only temporary - that as soon as the Federation regained control of the station I'd be back to being a Starfleet officer - but I was going to make the most of this while I could. Sure, I still had my mission and a very important job to do, but I wasn't about to waste my opportunity to soak in Weyoun's presence while I could.
A beautiful, joyful smile stretched his lips, and he pressed his forehead lightly against mine.
"Good, because running this station and protecting Bajor for the Dominion...it would be mind-numbingly dull without you, my dear." That brought a smile to my own lips, but probably for different reasons than he would've anticipated. The Founders would likely have blown a gasket hearing that one of their Vorta toys was bored with the job they'd been created to perform. If that wasn't proof that the Vorta were capable of being so much more than the Changelings thought, I didn't know what was. "Don't be late, now. I'll be here when you get back."
I nodded my head quietly and gave him a tender, parting kiss before making my way toward Quark's.
The Bajoran station was humming with the partially-exhausted crowds that naturally accompanied the end of a shift. Used to the tired throng of people either going for a meal or heading back to their quarters, I used a few of the back corridors - less-traveled areas, of course - to make up some time.
Rather quickly, I found myself slipping into the doorway to the Ferengi's bar and zeroing in on the seat that was held for me out of habit by Dukat's right hand man. Without preamble, I plopped myself on the padded stool and gave a polite nod to the Cardassian in question.
"I was wondering when you'd get here. Usually you're early," Damar said as he brought his glass of kanar to his lips. He seemed in unusually high spirits tonight. Either something minor and gossip-worthy had happened, or I should be very concerned about the state of the war.
"There was a lot of foot traffic tonight. Apparently everyone decided this was the night to be in my way," I said with a dismissive giggle. Quark caught my eye and nodded in acknowledgement. "You look like the cat that got the cream, Glinn. What's got you in such a good mood?"
The Ferengi bartender set my drink in front of me with a wink - I knew for a fact that he flirted with all the patrons who wouldn't kill him in the hopes that he'd get a bigger tip - but before he could leave, Damar's hand landed on his forearm.
"Anything the Lieutenant drinks tonight is on me. This is a celebration," the Glinn said with a smug smirk. Looking at him in surprise, I lifted my glass of kanar in salute.
"Why, thank you, Glinn. If I may ask, what's the occasion?" He tapped his glass against mine, and after we both took a generous swallow - clearly not his first of such this evening - he turned to face me on his stool.
"My impending promotion!" He said puffing up his armor-covered chest.
Uh oh.
"Wait a minute," Quark cut in as he polished a glass, "you started a fight in my bar and they're making you a Gul? What kind of way is that to run an army?"
Weyoun had mentioned the fight only a couple of days before. Apparently, it had been between Cardassian officers and Jem'Hadar soldiers. Quark's concern was completely valid. How the hell did that track?
"Dukat wasn't happy about what happened," Damar started refilling his glass and topping mine off, even though I'd only taken a single sip. "I had to find a way to make it up to him."
"I hope it was something big," Quark chimed in.
"Must've been a hell of a blowjob," I teased, and the tipsy Cardassian let out a raucous laugh.
"Nothing so personal. Let's just say it will change the course of history," he said before draining his glass once more. Quark's eyes met mine. This reeked of trouble.
"As a businessman," the Ferengi started, refilling the Glinn's glass himself, "I'm very interested in the course of history. This one's on me."
Damar accepted the drink with a nod and a raised glass.
"That's very kind of you, Quark, but I can't talk about it." Down the hatch went that drink, and I sipped slowly at mine as I formed a plan. Quark looked over at me, and sighed as he grabbed a third glass.
"Of course, I understand. Have another," he offered, refilling Damar's drink, topping up mine, and pouring one for himself. I'd never imbibed heavily before, but there was a first time for everything.
--
Making our way to Kira's quarters while intoxicated was more difficult that I'd anticipated. Not only did I have to keep myself upright, but I had to try and steady Quark as well. The dirty bastard's hand roamed several times, but a threat to remove them at the wrist seemed to sober him up just enough for him to process how bad of an idea it had been.
We were practically dragged into the Major's quarters when we got there, having seemingly stumbled our way into a meeting of her resistance group. So much for me not knowing who was involved. She'd clearly bet on the probability of me forgetting the night's events by the morning, otherwise she wouldn't have let me in at all.
After several rambling attempts at conversation, Quark got a little agitated, and Kira tried to drag him back on course.
"How can I relax when there are thousands of Jem'Hadar ships are sitting on the other side of the wormhole, waiting to come through?" He slurred, and Jake shook his head, trying to placate him.
"Don't worry about it. They're stuck there." He sounded so confident - so naïvely certain.
"Noooo, Jake. They're coming," I said, clutching at his arm as if I could make the young man understand. "If Damar was telling the truth, they'll be able to get through soon."
"What are you talking about?" Kira asked, and together we managed a somewhat intelligible, if slurred, explanation of what happened. Odo and Kira shared a look, and I was ordered to head back to my quarters.
How I got back, though, was a mystery to everyone, myself included. All I recalled the next morning was the vague impression of Weyoun helping me into clean clothes and letting me cuddle him until I fell asleep.
I really hoped that I'd dreamed saying how pretty he was so many times. He deserved to know he was handsome, but I didn't exactly want to sound like such a moron when conveying that to him.
Gentle lips against my cheek brought me back to consciousness in the morning, and I burrowed farther into my lover's embrace. My head ached and everything felt dry and scratchy and too loud.
No wonder I heard so many people warning about how strong kanar was. If this is how it felt the morning after, I was quite happy never to taste that syrupy shit again.
"Come, my love. It's time to get up," Weyoun crooned in a gentle, careful whisper. An involuntary groan escaped me, and he ran his fingers softly through my hair. "I'm sorry. I know it hurts. I have something that'll help, though."
"I don't think even your gorgeous cock can fix this," I rasped as I forced myself to sit up - an utterly monumental task in that state.
"As honored as I am that you view me as a potential cure to many ailments, I was talking about this," he said reaching for a hypospray sitting on the bedside table. "It'll take away the majority of your symptoms."
I tried to nod my head, but it just ended with me wincing and lying back down. A quiet hiss sounded against my upper arm, and a few moments later, the pain melted away as if Weyoun's fingers trailing over my scalp had behaved like a poultice, absorbing the Evil Hangover straight from the source.
Featherlight kisses landed on my closed eyelids, and I let out a quiet sigh of relief at the sensation.
"I take it you and Damar had fun last night?" He teased, and I groaned.
"For your own health, never ever try to match drinks with a Cardassian soldier." I cautioned, but before I could say more, the comm system chimed.
"Dukat to Weyoun. There is an urgent meeting in thirty minutes. Bring the Lieutenant with you. She'll want to be a part of this." He didn't wait for a response, simply stated the message and cut the line.
A long-suffering sigh escaped my lover's lips, and he fixed me with a stare. Those soft, warm purple eyes of his filled with a playful sort of calculating stare. He then picked up a glass of water and gave me a wink.
"Computer, deactivate Universal Translator in this room," he ordered, and my eyebrows shot upward. The acknowledging chirp from the computer stirred my curiosity. Holding the glass of water between us, he pointed at it and murmured a single word. "Na."
I blinked, and he, noticing my blankness, smiled and repeated the word before gesturing a hand at me. I repeated the word, still mildly confused, but it pleased him, and just like that something clicked.
Apparently, this was my first lesson in how to speak Dominionese. My pronunciation had been right on the money, but I didn't know if he meant the cup itself, or what was in the cup.
"Na?" Reaching forward, I tapped the glass as I asked, then I dipped a fingertip into the liquid, "or is this na?"
A look of comprehension flickered across his face, and he touched the liquid as I had, repeating the word confidently. He had me say it once or twice more, and offered me the glass with a cheerful little kiss on the forehead.
As we dressed for our meeting with Dukat, Weyoun tapped items of clothing and various objects around the room, giving me their names in his language and having me repeat them until my pronunciation was satisfactory. By the time that the translator came back online, I couldn't help but feel proud that I'd absorbed so much while recovering from a hangover.
--
The Changeling standing in the wardroom sent a bolt of anxiety rocketing through me. Why was a Founder here? Wasn't it enough for the Vorta to keep their people informed? Odo stood at her side, looking confused, a little suspicious, and...was he happy? I supposed that he must be. After all, he wasn't the one who'd been exiled from ever returning to their homeworld. The slightly guarded yet curious glances he threw her way said more than words ever could.
How long had she been on the station? How deeply into him had she sunk her claws?
I had my answer when I glanced at the table and noted that Major Kira was conspicuously absent. For the safety of the resistance and the Federation's future, I had to assume that Odo had been compromised.
"Founder, it is an honor," Weyoun said sinking into a low bow at my side. His hand still rested squarely in mine, but I didn't copy his actions. Lifting my chin in defiance, I merely looked at her as her hawk-like eyes watched us - or rather, me. She didn't seem to even notice Weyoun, choosing instead to stare at me.
"We meet again, child of Meris," she said, but I just lifted an eyebrow. What sort of response could I possibly give after she banished me? I'd chosen Weyoun over my people - a decision I could never regret - but I had no intention of discussing my logic with one so cruel that she could not comprehend that what she'd almost done was wrong in the extreme. "Have you nothing to say to your kin?"
Glancing around the room in faux contemplation, I shook my head blankly.
"I see no kin here. Besides, the last time we spoke, you made your opinion on my existence quite clear." I was proud of how calm and logical I sounded despite the anger boiling within me.
"Perhaps our opinions of you have changed," she said taking a few steps toward me. Looking away from her, I spotted Dukat and was, for once, grateful for his presence.
"What did you call us here for, Gul?" The smirk that met my inquiry sent a shiver down my spine. "I trust it wasn't just for this...reunion?"
"Come, Lieutenant. Have a seat by me. We have a breakthrough to discuss," he called, and I did as he suggested. Pulling Weyoun gently along, I ensured that the Founder wasn't given the chance to sit on either side of me. All the meeting gave me were specifics on the plan to remove the minefield. Nearly everything Dukat and Damar said were things I'd heard from the latter the night before, and I forced myself to act surprised.
I caught Damar looking at me a few times, doubtless trying determine how much he'd said the night before and how much I remembered. When I gave him an innocent smile and acted engrossed in Dukat's speech as if it was all new, he seemed to relax.
Very well. Let the drunkard believe that he'd averted a crisis. The more his people underestimated their opposition, the easier it would be to catch them off their guard.
"You will keep me informed," the Founder said rising to her feet as if she was a queen. Without waiting for an answer from Gul Dukat, she turned to Odo. "Come. I wish to speak with you alone."
I expected him to toss out an abrasive comment, but instead, he followed her like an obedient puppy.
What the hell was going on?
Before I could say a word to Weyoun, though, the Founder tossed a glance over her shoulder.
"Come, Weyoun. We require your service," she called not waiting for an answer as she swept out of the room. He gave me an apologetic kiss on the cheek before rushing after the pair of Changelings, and then I was left alone with the two Cardassians.
"Well, well, that wasn't exactly what I was expecting," Dukat murmured, and I let out a heavy sigh. I still had the edge of a headache from this morning's hangover. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the headrest of my seat. "Oh dear. You do seem stressed."
It was all I could do to keep my eyelids from snapping open when one of his large hands rested on my thigh, squeezing the muscles there in what I guessed was supposed to be a soothing gesture. I hummed low in my throat - the sound's meaning was one that I let him interpret on his own.
"Did I wear you out last night?" Damar asked with a huff of laughter, and Dukat let out a scandalized gasp. I could imagine just how wide his eyes had grown as he looked between his officer and me.
"Don't tell me you were with another Cardassian!" He sounded sufficiently playful, but still just jealous enough to bring a smile to my lips. Good. I had him hook, line, and sinker.
"Only for a drink," I replied, and Damar took that as his cue to leave. The door hissed closed, leaving me truly alone with Dukat. Why shouldn't I use this as an opportunity to deepen his trust in me?
"No wonder you look so tired," Dukat murmured sounding much closer than before. His other hand touched my forehead and his lips met my cheek. "Poor girl. I can massage that headache away if you like...?"
Letting out a harsh, skeptical laugh, I finally opened my eyes and tilted my head to face him.
"And trust your hands not to wander? Forgive me, Gul, but I've heard stories of your dalliances during the Occupation–"
"Are you truly telling me that after all we've been through over the years, you wouldn't enjoy a little...dalliance of our own? Especially considering that your pretty little Vorta toy will likely be busy serving the Founder's wishes while she's aboard. We wouldn't want you to grow lonely, would we? I could keep you entertained," he challenged as he skimmed his fingertips down the side of my face. After seeing the Founder in the flesh and how unquestioningly obedient Weyoun was to her, suddenly Dukat didn't seem so bad.
Relativity, indeed. Tilting my head, I skimmed my lips ever-so-lightly over the palm of his hand and looked up at him - a nice touch, if I do say so myself.
"You wish," I breathed, and a devilish smirk stretched his lips. Oh, I was playing with fire.
"Would such a wish really be so surprising?" The Gul's voice was low and intimate - soft, as though he thought that was what I needed.
I did. I needed gentleness quite badly. Just not from him.
"Coming from you? Not in the slightest." I put as much condescension in my tone as I dared, hoping he'd take it as a clumsy attempt at Cardassian-style flirting. A raspy chuckle vibrated deep in his throat, prompting me to get to my feet.
"You're not leaving so soon, are you?"
"I should. After all, Weyoun–"
"–will be busy with the female Founder and Odo for quite some time. You are free to do as you wish," he argued, but I shook my head quietly.
"I have duties."
"You don't. I took the liberty of having Major Kira clear your schedule for the day." I froze, and obviously didn't hide my surprise well, because he continued in a more amused tone. "Initially, I believed that you'd want the time for a family reunion, but given your reaction to your long-lost relation, you could use the time for something more...enjoyable. Improving interstellar relations between Bajor and Cardassia, perhaps...?"
He stood and moved in front of me, tilting my chin up so that eyes met his.
"There's no need to be coy," he whispered. "Obviously, we both want this..."
"You want me?" I asked, attempting to sound as innocent as I could while my hand slid up to his neck ridge. He practically moaned out a 'yes,' and I grabbed the section of his ridge that Kira had taught me was a weak point for Cardassians. Dukat let out a pained hiss, but the delighted smirk on his face spoke more of arousal than discomfort. "Then work for it. I'm not one of your comfort women from the previous occupation. If you want me, then you need to earn the privilege. Understood?"
"Oh yes, Lieutenant." Though strained, he still managed to sound flirtatious. I released him and spun on my heel. Sparing him a single glance over my shoulder as I walked out, I noted the tent in his uniform trousers.
--
This was a mess. Everything was a mess. If the Federation didn't retake the station soon, the resistance might be in shambles. Damar was clearing the wormhole, Odo was wrapped around the Female Founder's little finger, and Dukat's actions today might have finally convinced Major Kira that I wasn't worth trusting...that I'd truly betrayed the Federation and Bajor. Besides that, I might have to close my eyes and do something I'd very much regret with Dukat.
Guilt wound through me every time that I acknowledged how much I'd encouraged his attraction. I knew I needed information for the Federation and the Resistance, and I needed the Gul to trust me, but was flirting with him even the right move considering everything at stake?
I had no idea how long I was stuck in my thoughts, but at some point that evening, I became vaguely aware that Weyoun had returned to our quarters. His voice washed gently over my ears, but I didn’t hear a word. My eyes remained lost in the stars just outside the window, and my arms had been crossed protectively around my middle for goodness only knew how long.
What could I do to stop the minefield being removed when I hadn't even found a way to communicate with Starfleet Command? I mean, what had I been doing all this time besides playing house with a Vorta?
A wave of concern flowed from Weyoun to myself through our odd link as he sensed my emotions, but I didn’t move a muscle. Even when his hands took up careful residence on my shoulders, I couldn’t bring myself to do more than blink.
“Something is wrong, isn’t it?” Weyoun’s smooth, concerned voice asked from behind me as I stared out into the oblivion of space. He could read people better than they could read themselves, and I was certainly no exception, not that I was making it particularly difficult for him at the moment. Even if we hadn't been empathically linked, it wouldn't have been hard to see how wilted I felt. “You’ve been quieter than usual since you returned from that late night with Damar, and now with Founder here... You’ve been preoccupied. I realize that you don’t want me to think of you as the offspring of a deity, but...I live to serve you in whatever ways you may require, my love. What can I do to help you?”
I felt too vulnerable and too closed off all at once, like a frayed wire being strangled by what little remained of its casing. Who else could I say anything to? Who else cared about what I said, even if this all turned out to be a ruse - a long game that he'd been playing so patiently - in the end?
Weyoun was the only one. I couldn’t trust anyone on this station, not anymore, not where it was important. Hell, I shouldn’t even fully trust him, but what other choice did I have?
For this...could I risk it just this once? He thought of Changelings as gods. He regarded the being who was my biological father as a god, and I myself as a demigod of sorts. Would this be taking advantage of the programming the Founders had included in his genetic makeup? Would he feel obligated to listen to me drivel on without regard for his own feelings despite my protests that I wanted only his honesty?
When I turned and my eyes met his, I felt something in me break. Weyoun looked so worried. Precious man. His almost neon purple eyes were moist as though he were on the verge of tears like I was - he truly was distressed over my current state. I knew my own eyelids were most likely puffy from the tears I’d shed - the emotions threatening to spill over again at any moment - and I knew that he’d have noticed that by now. He was much too clever for his own good.
A low whisper of my name brought me out of my thoughts enough to notice that the Vorta’s brow had furrowed just a little bit more than before.
“Please...it pains me to see you like this. I beg you, please let me help,” he said barely above a whisper, and whatever cracks had formed in my defenses extended far enough that I could no longer keep up my flimsy facade. My eyes burned, my vision blurred, and tears began rolling down my cheeks. A flicker of fear passed over Weyoun’s features and through our bond, and although I wanted to comfort him, all that escaped me was a quiet sob. There wasn’t much space left between us to begin with, but he still stepped forward as much as he could and lifted his hands, allowing them to hover on either side my face as if he was afraid to touch me. “H-How do I help you?”
In answer, I reached out and wrapped my arms around him. Pressing my face quietly against his shoulder, I felt his own limbs envelope me without hesitation - one around my middle and one around my upper back - holding me close to him. Weyoun was nearly trembling from how fiercely and protectively he was embracing me.
“I’m here,” he murmured against my temple in that soft, comforting voice. This time instead of it being filled with steady lies as it so often was in meetings, I could hear it wavering with emotion just as it had so long ago on that Dominion ship and when he found that I'd remained on the station despite its occupation. “You are not alone. You have me; you always will. I promise. No matter what happens with the Dominion, the Alpha Quadrant, the Gamma Quadrant...you will always have me. I know what it is to be alone, and I swear you never will be again.”
Safe in his arms, I found myself no longer caring whether this was just a ploy or not, because I so desperately wanted to believe that I wouldn’t be alone anymore. He'd been here, but I hadn't allowed him to see just how stressed I was trying to toe the line between the Dominion and Bajor. I wanted to believe he was telling the whole truth. Just this once.
Just this once.
So I nodded my head against his shoulder and simply let myself be comforted by his embrace, by his promise, and by this one act of kindness, dangerous though it might eventually prove to be.
“I’m sorry,” I managed to get out around my stuttered breaths. I was. He didn’t deserve to have someone sobbing all over him for no reason. He was the one who needed kindness, especially after the way I’d seen that Founder treating him. He wasn't some pet for them to order around. He deserved so much more kindness than he was being shown.
Yet he was the one showing it to me. Whether incited by genuine concern or by his programmed devotion to the Founders - and myself by extension - Weyoun had never been anything less than sweet and gentle and courteous to me.
But how could I allow a shred of doubt into my head? Just thinking back to the first time I'd felt the extent of his love for me, I remembered how different his emotions had been compared with those he'd felt for the beings who had cloned him.
Shame wove hot and heavy through the ravages of my sorrow.
“You of all people have no reason to apologize to me,” he said before pressing his lips against my forehead in a tender kiss. “What could you possibly have to be sorry about? You have never been unkind to me, you’ve never hurt me. You’ve only ever shown me love and compassion. You are the most remarkable person I’ve ever encountered.”
“You have better things to do than put up with someone crying all over you,” I muttered daring to tilt my head back enough to look up into Weyoun’s eyes. He looked almost startled at my statement.
“My dear, you act as though you are a burden to be borne. I assure you, nothing is further from the truth,” he murmured in a pained voice. One of his hands lifted and cupped my cheek. His thumb skimmed gently across my skin wiping away the last of my tears. Leaning into his touch, I let my eyelids flutter shut. I knew I shouldn’t be this open with him - he was the Female Founder’s puppet while she was aboard the station, after all - but I couldn’t help it. Who else could I possibly be vulnerable with? Considering the cruelty and violence of this war surrounding me on a daily basis, was it really so wrong to enjoy a simple moment of self-indulgent intimacy? I raised my hand to cover Weyoun’s and turned my head just far enough to kiss his wrist.
It wasn’t even close to an adequate thank you for all he’d done for me, but it was all I could manage. I knew he’d understand - he always understood me with a startling degree of accuracy, even when I couldn’t express myself correctly or fully.
“Why do you think so little of yourself?” He asked in barely more than a whisper as his eyes slid from our hands to meet my gaze. “You are lovely and kind to everyone, even those like me who don’t deserve it–”
“But you do deserve it. You always have, Weyoun, no matter how the Founders may have treated you,” I said quietly looking up into his eyes. He blinked owlishly at me, and I leaned in, kissing his cheek. “Can you still not see that after all this time, darling?”
“I suppose I...still have a bit of trouble separating myself from the way the Founders created us,” he admitted as a lavender blush colored his cheeks. “Forgive me–”
“Hush. There’s nothing to forgive,” I promise coaxing him into resting his forehead against mine. Lowering my voice to a whisper, I knew his excellent Vorta hearing would still register what I had to say. “We are, always have been, and always will be equals.”
“I believe you,” he murmured as his hands took up a timid grip on my waist. He took a slow, deep breath and as he exhaled, I rested my hands gently on his shoulders. Nothing had technically changed - the war was still raging, my father was still a missing murderer, and Dukat was still playing a tyrannical, slutty version of king of the castle with the station.
And yet...there in Weyoun’s arms, such a fundamental shift had occurred that it felt as though I suddenly could take on the universe. Perhaps it was a part of the Vorta coding which bound them to the Founders that made me feel reassured as I stood there, his own confidence in me bleeding over and restoring my own.
Or perhaps there was another explanation. The relationship that had been developing between us had shown no cracks until Dukat tried to worm his way between us. Even now, I was acutely aware that the Gul had plenty of reasons to try and manipulate me on that front. Why had I ever allowed myself to listen to a single word he said? Was I so afraid of losing Weyoun that I assumed it was just my luck that I would?
I had doubted myself and my judgment regarding him for so long that I suppose I didn’t feel like I deserved to be loved with the kind over unwavering affection Weyoun had shown me. Even as that thought crossed my mind, doubts filtered through from my subconscious that I shouldn’t have allowed myself to take this much liberty with his affection as it was - that I was weak for doing so.
But I needed him, and I loved him. Weyoun had assuaged my fears on that front so many times before, but was that justification enough for continuing?
“Such chaos thrust upon one person... Let me be your shielding."
The soft earnestness surrounding Weyoun's words had me crumbling in his arms. Almost without conscious thought, I tilted my head and caught his lips in a kiss that I hoped said all the words I couldn't muster. My lover didn't hesitate to return the gesture, kissing me with such tenderness that it took my breath away.
Slowly, naturally, our movements gained momentum, becoming hungrier and more desperate by the second. Just as he'd done after my encounter with Keevan, Weyoun easily took control. Something urgent and lurid passed between us, and in a blur of discarded clothing, we fell into our bed.
We'd experimented with each other over the time we'd been together, but we hadn't quite taken that final step. With his fingers pumping between my legs and mine caressing the base of his length and the folds of his slit, he whispered in my ear.
"I want to make love to you. Please, I'm ready. I'm aching for you, my love. I've dreamt of you so many times..."
I couldn't possibly deny him. Why would I even want to after all this time? I loved him, and I would never pressure him into doing more than he was comfortable with. I would, however, be lying if I said that I'd never imagined what our first time together would be like.
My imagination paled in comparison to the sweet sounds he made as he entered me for the first time. His name was a prayer on my lips, just as mine was on his. Our pleasure was reflected, doubled, then increased exponentially by the bond that formed between our minds. We merged so completely that I couldn't tell where Weyoun began and I ended.
The wet slap of skin-on-skin sounded less obscene and more...restorative. We both needed this. Our reasons might have been different, but our desires, our love, stemmed from the same source.
When he finally spilled within my trembling body, tears dampened both our faces. Weyoun's teeth had left bite marks down my neck, and I'd left a few scratches down his back.
Aside from murmured declarations of love between kisses, we didn't speak. What could we say? What could possibly need to be said so desperately that either of us would risk disturbing the peaceful, content atmosphere that had settled over us like a blanket?
Gentle touches, cuddles, and affectionate looks carried us delicately into dreamland that night.
--
The next morning as I blinked hazily into awareness, I thought the Vorta was still asleep. Trailing my fingers ever-so-softly through his mussed, silky, black hair, I couldn't help but smile. He was supposed to be unsettling to the Dominion's enemies and charming in equal measure, but all I could see was how gentle he was. I knew he had it within him to be manipulative, charming, and underhanded all in a matter of moments - that was how the Changelings had cloned him to be - and I'd witnessed it. But there was something satisfying about seeing the head of station's occupying force curled up like a kitten in my arms.
"That feels good." The words breezed from his lips, carried on his breath as easily and lightly as a feather. I couldn't stop the smile that tugged at my lips.
"I won't stop, then," I whispered, and he let out an appreciative hum.
"I meant it, you know. Every Weyoun since our very first iteration over a hundred years ago has seen your face in our dreams. Seeing you on the Defiant...I recognized you immediately."
My hand slowed atop his scalp. My lover's voice was low and nervous, as if he was afraid I'd mock him or accuse him of lying. Instead, I watched as he lifted his head from my chest and looked up at me with wide, gentle eyes.
"But...that was so long ago..." I was confused, definitely, but I wanted to hear him out. Across our bond, I could feel tension, as if Weyoun was taking a chance saying any of this.
"My very first memories are images of you from prior iterations' dreams. They all saw your face so frequently that they knew you were someone vitally important...that the Founders were allowing us visions of a blessing they planned to give us. The fourth Weyoun...he'd almost lost hope the day you met him," he murmured. "Only the important memories - the ones that stand out - are encoded for future iterations to retain. You...your face has survived every activation."
A lump rose in my throat. How was that possible? I'd heard of people having visions they thought were from their deities - hell, even Captain Sisko had visions from the Bajoran Prophets - but I knew for a fact that the Founders weren't gods. Even they couldn't predict the future like that. Otherwise, I had no doubt that they would've stopped my father from mating with a Human.
"In the dreams, you called out to me...said my name...promised you'd find me no matter what. I've never told anyone this before, but in my darkest hours...the moments where my faith in the Founders was at risk of falling apart, I clung to the image of your face hovering over me...and it strengthened me," Weyoun admitted in a whisper as he cupped my cheek, gliding his thumb over my skin. "I-I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."
Unable to make my tongue work, I shook my head and kissed his lips. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? What could I say about that revelation?
I hadn't even begun to sort through the messy tangle of emotions in my chest when the comm chimed.
“Damar to Weyoun.” Of course, there was never a calm, quiet moment on this station, even with it under the Dominion's thumb. The Vorta sighed quietly, the warmth of his breath caressing my skin as softly as his lips had in the wake of our intimacy.
“What is it?” He asked quietly, sounding more reluctant than I’d ever heard him. He didn’t move away from me any more than I did from him. If anyone had been watching, they’d doubtlessly assume that our nude bodies were stuck together beneath the blanket by some immutable, unseen force.
“You’re needed in Security. Now.” The Cardassian sounded smug, a fact which never seemed to bode well in his company. "We've just arrested a saboteur. The Ferengi bartender's brother, Rom."
~*~*~
Dominionese:
Na = water
~*~
Taglist:
@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @groovyqueer @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee @weyounthevorta
#deepspacedukat fic#half-changeling!reader#Weyoun 5#Weyoun 5 x Reader#lieutenant!reader#established relationship
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🥳Photogirl894's "Sun and Rain" Fanfic Three Year Celebration!!🥳
As of today, it has now been THREE whole years since I started writing and posting "Sun and Rain", my Bad Batch fanfic and love story between Hunter and my OC, Kimber!
Crazy how time flies when you're having fun, right?? 😆
I've added a bit more to my story since last year and I'm insanely happy with how it's progressing! This year, the story continued on through events of season one of the Bad Batch (a little slower than I had hoped for, but progress is progress) and there was lots of angst, but also lots of good moments. We're officially halfway through season one! With the show ending this year, it got my thoughts turning more to how Kimber's story would go throughout season three and I think a lot of you will like what I have planned in the future. There's still a lot more to come and at least we know that there's gonna officially be a happy ending 🥰 (Though, I would've had that happen no matter what, but now, I don't have to break canon to get it!)
A huge thank you to everyone on my taglist as well as those who are currently reading my fic! I've gained a few more loyal readers and it makes me so happy! Your guys love, support, comments and messages are what keep me going! 😊
@the-sad-batch , @nimata-beroya , @intrepidmare , @legolkenxbi , @tech-aficionado ,
@ladykatakuri , @d1n0-dan , @sammi9498 , @darthzero22 , @scarlettrose9901 ,
@thebadbatchscyare , @chxpsi , @ilikemymendarkandfictional , @4pplecider , @locitapurplepink ,
@l-lend , @nekotaetae , @eternalwaffle , @merkitty49 , @avathebestx ,
@idoubleswearimawriter , @techs-stitches , @fantasyproductions , @totallyunidentified and @dreamsandrosies
To celebrate the three year anniversary of "Sun and Rain", I would absolutely love to talk about the story with my readers again like I did the last couple years, especially since I've gained a few new readers in that time and I honestly think it's a lot of fun! 😊 I want to know some things you guys like about it so far and I'm curious if anyone has questions for me about it, so once again, I have a list of things anyone can send to me in my ask box: things you can tell me from your own perspective or things you can ask me personally! (For those who may be reading and aren't caught up all the way yet, there most likely will be spoilers, so you've officially been warned 😅)
Tell me...
1. Your favorite moment
2. Your favorite line(s)
3. Your favorite relationship
4. Your favorite chapter
5. What scene/line made you laugh the most?
6. What scene/line made you smile the most?
7. What scene/line made you cry/angry the most?
8. A song recommendation for my "Sun and Rain" playlist that you think fits Kimber or her relationships with other characters and I'll give it a listen
9. What you'd like to see later on in the story (and maybe I'll tell you if it'll happen)
10. Your theories for "Sun and Rain" and where it's going to go
Ask me...
1. Anything you want to know about my OC, Kimber (within reason) or my Koriena Force girls (Lex, Kida and Irys. Any questions about Rina will be directed to @l-lend since she belongs to her)
2. What was my inspiration for (insert scene/chapter)?
3. What was my inspiration for (insert certain line/paragraph)?
4. What chapter am I most proud of?
5. What certain lines am I most proud of?
6. What was my favorite moment(s) to write?
7. What was my least favorite moment(s) to write?
8. For a hint of upcoming chapters/events and how Kimber's role might change certain things (if you want to know about particular upcoming events from the show, please specify)
9. For a sneak peek into future scenes I already have written (though it's mostly dialogue and I only have a couple, so I can only do this a certain number of times)
10. Anything else you want to know from me about "Sun and Rain" or my experience writing it thus far
I look forward to talking about this with all of you! And stay tuned for another fun surprise later today! 🥰 I love you all so much!!
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life + writing update!
hi, so i just wanted to give a lil life update since some stuff i have coming up is possibly going to effect how frequently i write/post. basically, i’m going back to school to further my degree as well as changing jobs. obviously, i won’t have as much free time as i’ve been used to and, in the first few weeks/months of this adjustment, i probably won’t have much time to write just because i already have a feeling i’m going to be a little overwhelmed.
all that being said, this is in no way to say i’m stopping or quitting writing fanfiction. writing fanfic has truly become one of my favorite hobbies and a therapeutic outlet for me that i wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. my activity on any of my current fics/series might just slow down a bit, so please be patient with me as i enter into this new chapter of my life.
as always, i want to give a huge thank you to everyone who’s read and enjoyed my work thus far and left nice comments which always encourage me to continue sharing my writing. i love all you guys! please wish me luck!
xoxo kodi <3
#im actually pretty nervous and stressed 🙃#this is definitely gonna be a big adjustment for sure#but like im trying my best to just take one thing at a time and not get overwhelmed#anyway I just wanted to share sort of what’s going on so no one thinks I disappeared lol
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interview with the writer ♡♡♡
thank you so much for tagging me, @forget-me-maybe !! i don't have any mutuals who haven't been tagged yet... OTL so i'm assigning this to anyone who wants to do it!!
when did you start writing?
i wrote a couple of one shot fics on fanfiction.net and an artemis fowl fic that i only ever got to the third chapter of at age 11! i dropped fic writing for drawing digital fanart for the next 7 years, but BG3 got me so emotionally engrossed (and so horny OTL) that i started writing again, and i made new mutuals and actually talked to them!! ૮₍ˆ꜆ . ̫ .₎ა♡
are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
i like reading fairy tales a lot! wouldn't want to write my own, though— i'd worry too much about the specifics ( ඉ_ඉ )
is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
i don't get compared to them, but i'm really engrossed with the way 'prime' by caoilinn hughes is written. it's unlike anything i've ever read, and took me 4 rereads to start understanding the actual details. i don't want to copy the writing style persay, but i would love to make something that gives someone the same unease that this short story gave me!!
can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
before i moved into my college dorm, i wrote at my desk in my bedroom! the dorm's chair is too short for me and my elbows rest on the desk uncomfortably... these days i write on my bed. .. (。× ̫×) only time can tell if its effective...
what's your most effective way to muster up a muse?
i typically start with with a canon character that i want to write about! say, rolan BG3. from there, i think: what kind of character would bring out the most interesting dynamic in their relationship? and then i make that character! from there on, i think about scenarios between the two characters, how they talk to each other, how they mesh (or don't) etc!
in the apprentice's affections, said character is 'the reader', sure, but she has a personality of her own, and i wrote her the way i did because i thought she would bring out a cute/interesting side of rolan, and vice versa! TLDR: i make ocs >:3
are there any recurring themes in your writing? do they surprise you?
haven't written enough to see recurring themes! i have the one fic that i'm determined to finish before i start publishing others, because i'm worried i'll never finish my current... here's said fic!
what is your reason for writing?
i wanted to be a fic writer! that's.. literally it!! it sounds kind of shallow, but i was curious, and genuinely just wanted to see what i would do with fandom popular tropes like '5+1', 'hanahaki disease', 'red string of fate' etc ( . ̫.)
i've only written and published one fic thus far, but i literally have a bingo list that upon completion, i could choose to . stop writing fic entirely if i wanted to LMAO ig i'll see if writing fic is something i actually like!
is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?
oh, i love all my comments so far; everyone's been so lovely!! i find that comments that delve into what the reader liked specifically / excitement & anticipation over what comes next especially motivates me, though!
how do you want to be thought about by your readers?
i'm not sure! friendly and genuine, i suppose! i use a lot of kaomojis that look cute in my authors notes because i want to give off a friendlier vibe, and i hope it doesn't come off as shallow / insincere / faking it... i just like cute things ♡♡♡
what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
don't want to seem like i'm fishing for reassurance, but i genuinely don't think i have any? at least, not yet! there's much for me to learn as a writer since i'm a beginner.. that said, i intend on doing my best to actually build writing strengths i can be proud of!! ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)
how do you feel about your own writing?
highly insecure, if i'm being honest! i spend a lot of time mulling over chapters and going 'is this good? this reads like garbage! i wish there was a more interesting way for me to describe this. i wish i knew how to ____' etc, etc...
again, i hope to hone my skills until i'm comfortable saying 'i'm an okay writer!!' and actually believe it when i say it, the same way i'm comfortable saying "i'm an okay illustrator!" i'll do my best *⋆˚꒰ˊૢᵕˋૢෆ꒱
#amo writes#tag game#tag games#baldurs gate 3#bg3#bg3 fic#bg3 fanfic#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#writing#writing asks#ask games#asks#ask game
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Fic Writer 20 Questions
Thank you for the tag @lttrsfrmlnrrgby! I am so very behind on all the tag games oops
1.) How many works do you have on ao3?
Technically 41 but 35 are fics and 6 are artworks.
2.) What's your ao3 word count?
150,270!
3.) What fandoms do you write for?
Currently I mainly write for Star Wars (codywan) but I also write for Good Omens! In the past I've also written fic for Doctor Who, Supernatural, Hannibal, and Criminal Minds. I think there's also a She-Ra fic that never made it past a couple paragraphs in my Google Docs 😂
4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?
1- kiss it better, baby: short and sweet destiel fic exploring sex repulsed asexuality in omegaverse
2 - Some Secrets aren't Meant to be Told: unfinished reader insert Criminal Minds x Supernatural crossover casefic I started when I was a teenager and abysmal at writing. Not to further disparage my age appropriate writing skills, but the formatting makes it nearly unreadable. We all learn and grow
3 - I'll Try and Somehow Make a Meaning of the Poison in this Place: 5 firsts between codywan as friends-with-benefits PLUS 1 time as boyfriends!
4 - catch me if you can (you already have): very sweet THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED codywan fic
5 - you're cute when you're nervous: good ol' codywan fic where they fulfill their promise of "after the war"
The blurbs are necessary because I do not recognize my fics by their titles 😂
5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I respond to every comment! Sometimes it just takes me a while because I've got anxiety and overthink everything. But I do always eventually reply! *glances at my inbox of 45+ comments and sweats*
6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
If you discard the blip of an epilogue at the end of what's left unspoken, your heart will ache. I wrote the epilogue because after I finished the fic, I read it through, sat back and thought "ow, what the fuck". Couldn't leave myself and everyone else with that bittersweet open ending.
7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oh God. Everything I've ever written has a happy ending. I don't even know, man. Maybe my fwb codywan fic since it has so many rocky bits that the ending feels all the more sweet?
8.) Do you get hate on fics?
Very fortunate to say that I haven't!
9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Yes, yes I do. My smut exists as an expression of love and a vessel of emotional and physical intimacy between the characters. Even when I think I've just written something properly fucknasty, all my comments are like "wow this is so soft and sweet 🥺". Genuinely, my smut is so asexual. It's rare I write characters experiencing sexual attraction; it's all about how the characters feel, both physically and emotionally. I've not done a very good job of making this sound sexy. I promise people say it's hot too.
I really respect authors who write unabashedly horny things without the characters being in love. Hats off to you guys. I've got no fucking clue how that works!
10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I have written one crossover (the one linked in the kudos question) but I don't think it was particularly crazy. Don't think I'll ever write another crossover but I do love fusions and I've done one of Sleeping Beauty and Star Wars! I'd definitely love to do something like that again.
11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?
I haven't but that would be so cool.
13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Nope!
14.) What's your all time favorite ship?
Oh goodness. Well. Hm. My ships have all gotten me through the lowest points of my life thus far and led me to meet my most treasured friends. I don't think I could concretely give an answer to this because every ship is special to me in a different way. I will say that I find myself so unbelievably grateful for codywan these days.
15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I have a Hannibal coffeeshop AU (Hannibal is still a cannibal, he just falls in love (unhealthily obsessed) with Will who's the only barista at the overpriced coffeeshop he frequents to get his order perfectly correct every single time) that I loooooove but I genuinely have not been able to get into the right headspace and flow to finish it.
16.) What are your writing strengths?
I'm really good at writing tender and heartfelt emotions. All the sap. It's my niche. If it's not implanted into every crevice of the fic just how sickeningly in love the characters are with one another, then it's not something I've written. I don't even do it on purpose most of the time. I sneeze and it appears on the page.
17.) What are your writing weaknesses?
I cannot possibly comprehend drafts (for fic writing). Everything has to be as close to how it is in my head on the first try. This is why it takes me so excruciatingly long to write anything. I hunker down and overthink and rewrite the same sentence five times over the course of an hour. Yes I know this isn't a sustainable writing method, HOWEVER, I've never claimed to have a good method of writing. Also, I'm not changing it. I'm stuck in my ways and I like it here. I'm cozy.
18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
If not done in a very specific way, it's definitely a pet peeve of mine.
19.) First fandom you wrote for?
Doctor Who!
20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?
At the moment, it's you're cute when you're nervous. Everytime I read it--which isn't often because I like to give myself time and space from my fics so I can enjoy them properly--it hits me with violent waves of emotion. Everything feels so palpable. I just really love it.
I've got no clue who's already been tagged so, truly, these are no pressure tags: @shortcuts-make-long-delays @aquaticflames @inkformyblood @agreekdemigod @cillyscribbles
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Fanfic Q&A!
Thank you for the tag @encyclopika, sorry I'm oh so very late getting back to it 😅
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Good question uhhhh 55???? That seems like way more than I thought it would be....
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
523,858 words! Granted over half of that is just my slow burn story so lol
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Primarily I've written for My Hero Academia (40 out of the total 55). But I've also written for Kingdom Hearts, The World Ends With You, and more recently Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Oh that's a good question let's see...
Drops of Jupiter (829)
A Princess's Dilemma (381)
Within Arms Reach (378)
One Plus One Does Not Equal a Date (Probably?) (303)
I Roll to Seduce (296)
I'm...genuinely shocked one of my LoZ fics is up there??? And so high??? 1, 3, 4, and 5 are all from my hero fanfics which is not surprising and most of them are super old. Number 2 I only posted in June and it was my first fic for LoZ so that's...interesting to say the least.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to! The last year or so I've had a hard time working up the energy or finding the words to respond to comments, sometimes. But whenever I do gather up the energy to do it, I tend to answer everything in my inbox in one fell swoop! And I always really appreciate getting them so tbh sometimes I feel bad that it can take so much energy to reply....
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oh gosh idk if I have anything that qualifies as an angsty ending lol. Maybe Tarantism (a KH fic) because it's supposed to be feelsy and then the ending is one of those "it's just a dream" things haha.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Happiest...probably A Family's Orbit? The story has married izuocha with their first kid who they're not sure when or if she'll have a Quirk of her own. But the one-shot ends pretty happy.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Hmmmm I've gotten a handful of complaints on Drops of Jupiter, on occasion. Usually just people telling me I'm going too slow (when I put in the author's notes of the very first chapter that it's "the slowest of slow burns" smh). Or this one time someone told me I didn't give Deku enough victories in the fic and it would be way better if I did.
Outside of that though, I can't think of any on my other stuff. I've been blessed with very kind commentors, I think.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I've written a couple for Izuocha. But yknow usually, in all honesty, I've only ever written smut out of spite? The two fics I have (Burning Heat and Homecoming) were written in opposition to fandom tendencies at the time. Mostly everyone was talking about Izuku like someone who was a sex addict/sex god and Ochako was just kind of there. And I said "actually I think Deku's on the ace spectrum and probably mostly just cares about pleasing his partner than anything" and thus they were born. I haven't reread them in ages though that said lol
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Generally, no. However, about a year or so ago I got really into twewy again because I had just finished playing NEO:The World Ends With You. So I came up with a concept that kind of meshes twewy's concept with the my hero world? I only have one chapter posted of Death By Proxy so far, but I have an outline and little details written down whenever I'm in the right headspace for it. For what it's worth, you don't really need to know about twewy to read it, because Izuku finds out how everything works at the same time you do lol
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge. Here's hoping it stays that way lol
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I know of? I've never been asked about it anyway.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not explicitly? I feel like I help out my friends with their stories and vice versa, but not really.
Oh!
Although once upon a time me and a friend (you know who you are) wrote a KH fanfic together but I guess that was moreso just for us than anything else lol
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Probably Izuocha, just going by the numbers.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Hmmm probably Eri-sitting? I really want to finish it at some point, and I posted the first part with every intention of doing it. But I never figured out the way I wanted to start chapter 2. Maybe someday though. Also!!! I did start writing a fanfic based off of heroes of the dark, but I didn't end up finishing it because it contrasted how the story ended and I thought completing that would be in poor taste with that said lol
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hmmm I've always found dialogue and characterization comes easier to me than I think it does to most others? There's always been discussions I've seen where people are like "oh sometimes the characters just do what they want" and I've never really...had that happen? Or at least not in a way that completely alters a story like I've seen people say. Little actions or pieces of dialogue that take me by surprise, sure, but like never anything that completely alters a plot beat I had planned. But usually at least for me, the plot beats are so centered around who they are or how they act that the odds of them veering off course are incredibly slim, if that makes sense
God I'm rambling uh dialogue and characterization I guess was my point haha.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Probably description is the thing I have the hardest time with. Some people are so good at writing a setting and making everything seem so like immersive in that way. For me, I don't see the point in describing something unless it's like relevant and so my description tends to be very to the point.
Also estimating a story's length. Usually I come up with a concept and then I'll say "oh yeah this'll only be this long" and then I start writing and writing and realize I had a lot more to say than I thought I did initially. This has happened a handful of times now haha
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.
I definitely don't see anything wrong with it. I usually only do it for small phrases, myself, but partially because I'm not fluent in anything except for English. And I generally try to do some research or I'll check with friends if I have any who speak the language I'm using.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Kingdom Hearts! Back in the days of yore, yours truly actually wrote KH retellings with OCs back on quizilla lmao. I wrote quite a lot back then although with how long it's been most of the things I posted on there don't exist anymore. But that was back during 8th grade when I started.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Oh hmm I don't know. I feel like favorites is tough because I like a lot of my stories but for different reasons. I'm exceedingly proud of Drops of Jupiter for example. And I think it's been a true adventure to write and does have some of my best work in it as a result.
But I also think some of the prose and concepts I've made for Call From the Wild has a special place in my heart. It's very different from...basically anything else I've ever written because most ever other fic is "modern" in a manner of speaking and this was my first time writing something that's...decidedly not lol. I also think I'm fond of it because it's adhering to canon while allowing me the creativity to come up with how certain things happened since the details before the Calamity in botw are pretty limited...
Basically I guess my favorite kind of fic I've written is anything that really allows me to go nuts creatively.
Thanks so much for sending this! I don't have anyone in particular I want to tag, but if any of my followers fill it out, please tag me so I can see it!
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10 Lines Tagging Game
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway!
Thanks to everyone who’s shaken me out of my stupor by tagging me: @yletylyf, @danpuff-ao3, @likelightinglass, and @ripeteeth! I'm going with first paragraphs, and a little more where pertinent. I had to scroll all the way back to 2014 to manage the full ten, partly because I skipped all the fic snippets.
I haven’t had time to comment on others’ posts, but I’ll get to that soon. Please, anyone who hasn’t shared, post your lines! I’ve read every excerpt I’ve seen so far, and they’re all wonderful, even the snippets from canons I don’t know. I won’t tag because I’m at work and rushing this out, but others should try! It’s fun to get reacquainted with your own first lines.
Candles Lit Against the Dark - (HP, Minerva/Wilhelmina and a big helping of Snape, 13.6K),
At around four in the afternoon, with three chapters to go in the espionage novel she was reading – since popular thrillers provided not only diversion but an eye-opening refresher course on Muggle slang and cultural attitudes – Minerva glanced up from the page to find Wil leaning in the doorway, watching her.
The Afterlight - (HP, Snape/Harry, WIP, 6 chapters, 45.6K so far)
It was possible none of this would have happened if not for Hermione. Or if not for Ron being an insecure prat who had to give himself a confidence boost in the worst possible way. Kingsley Shacklebolt also deserved some of the blame for putting Harry in an impossible position.
But mostly, Harry was aware, the fault lay with Snape. With Snape and his penchant for nearly dying in Harry's arms.
Year of the Thestral - (HP, Minerva/Severus, WIP, 3 chapters, 16.8K so far. Warning: the opening paragraph is ‘romantic,’ the rest of the fic is not)
The headmaster of Hogwarts, as yet unaware that he had entered upon his last day on earth, raised his thin hand to stroke the unsmiling face of the woman who had afforded him so much unlooked-for happiness. How ironic that, while children suffered and Voldemort prepared to strike, with his loyalties so deeply buried that only a discerning heart and penetrating mind could perceive their true shape, Severus Snape should lay to rest the ghost of his old love and touch the flesh-and-blood promise of the new.
The Threefold Death, or: the Lost World (long version) - (HP, Snape/Harry, Snape/Albus Severus, WIP, 3 chapters, 22.4K so far)
If Harry hadn't lost the ability to fly.
If his son had been sorted into any house but Slytherin.
If Harry hadn't waited until nearly forty to get lost in the Forest.
If Al hadn't been a ruthless romantic –
Or if Snape hadn't died. If Severus Snape hadn't died.
Jeeves and the Secret Society - (HP and the Jeeves stories (P. G. Wodehouse), Jeeves/Wooster, suggestion of Snape/Dumbledore, 12K, modeled on Wodehouse’s style and thus the fic most unlike my usual style)
Into the lives of all upstanding citizens an occasion must fall where we fumble the biscuit and end up owing an undeniable debt to mankind. Or in this instance, a kind man or two rather than the whole shebang.
No doubt it strikes you, on the head as it were, that I could say this of Jeeves on the regular. But the truth of the matter is, if I referred the matter to a court of law, that court would be forced to conclude that Jeeves is not like other men and therefore not a representative specimen.
The Sorrows of Your Changing Face - (Doctor Who, Twelve/Clara, 1.5K, not a fandom most of my friends read but this is probably my only chance to write a love letter to this ship, and it preserves the small hot coal of my feelings for them)
"We've really got to stop saying goodbye like this. How many times has it been now?"
She aims for a tone of flippant affection, the nostalgic companionship of Coal Hill and three-week-old coffee runs, heartsore mornings on an alien beach watching Gallifreyan symbols being scratched in the sand, a blanket over her bare shoulders and the transcendently erotic flapper affair that glittered as she curled around his confession, being counselled to choose and so choosing to change her mind. You can't be heartless and do what he does.
Soft Touch - (HP, Snape/Harry, 15.2K, character study with porn)
After the attendant led him down the hall and left him alone in the cosy wood-panelled room, warm enough that he could lie around in his smalls and not suffer goosepimples, Harry performed several quick spells to blind spying eyes, disable extendable ears, cover holes in the walls, and silence illegal recording charms. Not that he was paranoid, mind, but he wasn't an idiot, either.
Warm - (HP, Snape/Harry, 11.3K, porn with character study)
"Well, that was more fun than a barrel of Boggarts."
Harry bumped the front door shut with the snow-caked heel of his dress shoe and peeled off his gloves, watching Severus prop his cane in a corner and continue stiffly down the hall. He'd rather hoped that once they got home Severus would grab his arse and hump him up against a wall. But he could tell from how he walked that the winter freeze between the Ministry ball and their own doorstep had triggered muscle spasms, the ghost of Nagini's venom still flaring and fading in Severus' body even several years later.
The Blood of Stars - (HP, Snape/Harry, WIP on hiatus, 3 chapters, 44.2K, the WIP of my heart, and once I complete the current trio of fics, I want to drag this one back into the light)
At first, it's dark and he's flying.
More graceful in the air without a broom, he shivers at the unexpected freedom. The pulse of escape makes it worth the pain.
For there is pain. Too soon, the downward spiral begins. He drops lower, darker, through an agony of sky. Freefall. The very air hurts.
Impossible Without It - (HP, Snape/Harry, WIP on hiatus, 3 chapters, 16.5K, I’m also fond of this one, and I suspect readers will like it more than Blood of Stars. So I’ll probably work on both at once. Someday.)
Alone in the headmistress' office, Harry sat balancing a tea cup in his lap and toying with his wand, wondering how much longer he could stand to wait before Minerva returned.
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I have to confess. Whenever i am feeling very deeply self consious or afraid that a headcanon or a thought on media i have is getting Too out there or "Edgelordy" or even just reading too deep into something I go and look back at the tarble darvo post again and i feel a . Well serenity isnt quite how id put it but i genuinely mean when i say I aspire to your level of confidence in just putting completely off the walls stuff Out There and being aware its not gonna be everyones cup of tea and accepting that. You have majorly affected how i go about approaching media and stuff and while i dont know if its better for fandoms im in as a whole its better for me i think and thats what matters. I hope this is getting across right i mean this very positively. I think more people should have the audacity you have and i have GOT to internalize this
MY DEAR...
I was being all sleepy and small this morning and eventually I got on my phone and I saw this ask and it made me BOUND out of bed like the grandspa in the charlie chonka chocolate factory movie . Suddenly and conveniently rejuvenated.
I DIDN'T THINK THAT ANYBODY SAW THAT POST !??! But I don't know why I would think that becasue I just checked and it has 18 notes and even a reblog that isn't from me (from a user whom i appreciate tremendously and who interacts with my freakish posts when no one else does...)
SO GLAD THAT YOU SAW THAT POST & THAT IT IS HELPING YOU!!!
I agree with what you say. I LOVE HOW YOU'VE SAID IT. I also want to specifically add that it's important to have the freedom to express whatever is in your head. It's good to be self-aware that you're being "Edgelordy" if it means accepting how people will take it, but also, like, I would even advocate for acknowledging it as self-expression before you even give it judgement.
It's important to be OFF THE WALL CRAZZAY !!!
I don't mean to sound like I know what I'm talking about however ... I just make posts. I love to do it. And that's fine.
But yeah. I REALLY RESPECT & APPRECIATE what you're aspiring to be and I'm REALLY GLAD at how your thinking has changed thus far!!!
Go on ahead and internalize it. Audacity IS authenticity. Say what's in your beautiful mind <3
I don't want to come across all sanctimonious on dragonball blog but I can't help it it just comes so naturally to me so I'll keep going...
I understand feeling afraid & self-conscious and there are a lot of interesting things that can come from an exploration of those feelings. Sometimes it's best to stay quiet if you cannot with your better conscious justify a comment and feel safe with yourself after. But most of the time it's the fear of rejection that perpetuates conformity innit. And well that's no way to live. I promise that you're allowed to explore edgy ideas and that you're strong enough to withstand others' distaste. Because you are not required to heed a response that does not facilitate discussion or thought. Others' feelings are not your responsibility. And also plenty of people will like or respect what you say as well..!
Rules to live by: 1. Do whatever you want. 2. Be able to tolerate or protect yourself from others' doing whatever they want.
There is no meaningful discussion of art and life at large if one cannot discuss with an open mind and application of those principles starts HERE on dragon ball tumblr NOW!!!
It normally isn't my way to be so black/white assertive like that bc I think that all things have value but IDK I just wanted to make the strong point....
Thank you. I CANT SAY THAT ENOUGH!! This ask is so good. THANK YOU!! Good luck. And stay gorgeous <3
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gonna add a read more after the first few.
cw: abuse and dead dove themes lmao
1. oh god. my eternal horror.
my first fic published was a kenshin, pokemon, yugioh, dbz... et cetera crossover fic. the main character was a self-insert and they ("she") definitely went more christ than faust, haha.
lots of dead dove, lots of abusive incest. I think it was a way of subconsciously expressing my own abuse (physical and emotional) in a way "serious" enough to be believed.
I started it in year 2001, when I was 10, so it's rough, but I could stand to read it as a time capsule of who I was.
3. I think my best fic thus far is is it wrong to pickup girls on a pirate ship, continued. It picks up from what was a funny, romantic, action packed rewrite of OFMD s2 and really digs into the themes of community, love without trust, and how to do right by everyone when harm has been done.
Possession was a very close second, although it's a very different fic.
23, nicest review:
i cried
5, fic that I loved rereading and knowing I wrote: Possession. I kept jump scaring myself with my own fucking writing, while I was actively working on and engaged with the fic.
6 most embarrassed. Gosh, if any it's the fic I wrote when I was 10, but I smile and think about how it got me to where I am today.
13. I think the biggest change is how I perceive my work, and the value of it. As a 10 year old I had a pile of shame and a cultural upbringing that devalued sexuality—one of the core desires and experiences in this life. Now, I don't shy away from my desires, and I refuse to be warped into a shape I don't recognize. I'm queer as in "Fuck you," and haters can choke on it.
19, portfolio. One scene: Stede dreaming of the incubus. One chapter: Chapter 13 of socmed pt 2. One work: socmed pt 2.
22. I don't think any of my senpais have noticed me yet 🥲 if alphacygni ever commented one of my works I would simply cease to exist.
31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right:
Stede Bonnet, my archnemesis 🖕
32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?
45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?
Romance, without a doubt.
50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?
Fanfic (and fanworks in general) are the marginalized taking back their cultural storytelling heritage from the fucking corpos. Fanfic has helped me find myself; it has helped me heal. Not everything has been positive, but fanfic is just like life—you take the good with the bad.
Thank you so much for reading. 🙏
Fanfic author ask meme
My first ask meme, and one that’s been on my mind for a while! Feel free to reblog for your it for yourself, answer them, or ask me for my answers! Read more break after 10/50 to help keep this from clogging any dashboards
1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?
2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?
3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?
4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?
5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?
6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?
7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?
10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?
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ABOUT ME
➸ Name // Undine ➸ Age // 25 ➸ Pronouns // She/her (They/them is also acceptable!) ➸ Writeblr // @pens-swords-stuff ➸ Background // Japanese-American, queer, hobby writer ➸ Enjoys // Video games, playing music, binging anime and TV shows, compiling data for fanfiction/WIPs, bullet journaling, spending too much time on Tumblr Hey everyone! I'm not a new writeblr; I've been around for nearly 3 years now. I haven't been very active in the past year, so I'm reintroducing myself to the community as I dip my toes back in the water! I'm looking for new writeblrs to follow, so please reblog and I'll come check you out. I'd love it if you could introduce yourself to me in the reblogs because I'm always looking for new friends/mutuals to support. Friends and mutuals, I would love and appreciate a boost, as well as an update on how you're doing! I follow from my main blog @undinology. Contact me through my writeblr @pens-swords-stuff and not my main blog, please and thank you!
MY BLOG
I'm primarily known for my writeblr advice. I write guides designed to help people navigate the community as well as tips and tricks for those who want some extra guidance. Sometimes I post writeblr opinion pieces about current events/trends sometimes if I have something to say. If you've been around, chances are you've seen some of them floating around! I also give standard writing advice on occasion as well. Feel free to ask me anything, just check out my ask guidelines first! ➸ My advice masterlist ➸ Ask guidelines I also run a lot of community events! Keep your eyes peeled for any future events; I run them all on this blog! Here are the events that I've created/hosted so far: ➸ Writeblr Secret Admirer (Annual) ➸ Writeblr Positivity Week (Annual) ➸ WIP Blind Date (Intermittent) Besides all of that, I create writing memes, do a lot of writing positivity posts, and occasionally post my own writing! Supporting other writers is incredibly important to me, so I do my best to leave comments and reblogs as much as I can. I love talking with and supporting people, so please feel free to reach out!
Writing info and WIPs under the cut!
MY WRITING
➸ Writing masterlist* ➸ Primary genres // Romance, period, urban fantasy, mysteries, fanfiction *There are several WIPs on my writing masterlist that are on hiatus, and will likely not be discussed on my blog anymore! 98% of my writing is co-written with my best friend and writing partner @decantae. We've been writing together for nearly 6 years, and we primarily focus on writing bisexual romances in a variety of genres that spiral into massive plots. Our most recent focus has been writing period romances. Our current passion project and the WIP that I write for the most is a fanfiction period romance that features a huge polyamorous relationship, and it's nearly at 600k words written over a year and a half thus far. (No, it's not a novel, and it's written just for our own enjoyment, not necessarily meant to be read by others, so that massive word count is okay!) The other 2% of my writing are my solo projects. I'm a much better co-writer than I am a solo writer, and they are worked on much more sporadically, but I love them all the same. I have many ideas and I've dropped them just as quickly as I've discussed them! I'm a rather flighty solo-writer who is constantly juggling several ideas both novels and fanfictions. There are two WIPs in particular that have stuck around however, and that I talk about the most on my blog.
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID
➸ Genre // Murder mystery, romance ➸ Tropes // Fake relationship/wedding/marriage, bisexual rivalmance/minor enemies-to-lovers, detectives ➸ WIP Introduction ➸ Character Introductions ➸ WIP Tag // #atb ↳ All posts about ATB, including musings, memes, jokes ➸ WIP Tag // #always the bridesmaid ↳ Only official posts such as snippets, intros, lore, etc. ➸ Synopsis There’s been a string of murders. While tragic, murders are commonplace enough in [Fictional City] that no one blinks an eye when they are reported on the six o’clock news. The victims had nothing in common, so it was largely believed to be the work of separate killers, unrelated and commonplace. Except for one tiny detail: Every single victim had been a part of a wedding party the month prior to their death. Two private detectives were hired to investigate separate incidents, two different murders. When it becomes apparent that this trail of wedding murders has one culprit, it was only natural for them to team up and work together, because two heads are better than one. The only problem: They are rival detectives with differing styles that clash and find each other insufferable. When clue after clue lead them to dead-ends and false information, they are forced to confront the reality that they need to do something drastic to pin down the culprit. Pretending to be engaged and planning a fake wedding to lure out the killer seems extremely out there, but if they can survive a fake relationship, perhaps they can bring down the killer once and for all. It’s a crazy plan, but it just might work. Because if there is one thing for certain… The victim is always the bridesmaid, and never the bride.
PROJECT VESTIGE
➸ Genre // Coming-of-age, magical realism, mystery ➸ Themes // Connections between the past and the present, nature is alive, nothing is truly gone, remembrance and memory, found family, history repeats itself, it's never too late, magical phenomenon being 'normal' ➸ WIP Introduction ➸ Character Introductions ➸ WIP Tag // #project vestige ➸ Synopsis When Brooke started hearing voices, she thought that she was going insane. There was laughter when she was all alone, she overheard arguments in empty spaces… She’s not losing her grip on reality however. The earth remembers. It remembers the conversations, the laughter, sobs, and the shouts. It’s called place memory, and the places whisper and repeat them out loud so that nothing is ever truly forgotten. Anyone can hear it — all you have to do is listen and pay attention. Most people can’t hear place memory or ignore it because they’re too distracted with their own lives, but Brooke is listening now, and she’s paying attention to every murmur. People are disappearing in Antium. At first it seems like no big deal — just a college student skipping town — but one by one, more people go missing. It’s the Bay Witch, the locals say, the Bay Witch is snatching people away just like she did in the past; it’s happened before. Could it really be a local legend that’s responsible for these disappearances, or is there something far more sinister happening in Antium? Using her newfound discovery of place memory, Brooke and her friends start unraveling the truth behind the Bay Witch and missing people from over a hundred years ago. Little do they know, learning what truly happened back then may pave the way to them finding the missing people in the present.
If you made it to the very end of this long intro, thank you so much! Please feel free to ask about my WIPs or come hang out with me in my asks. I'm really looking forward to reconnecting with old friends, finding new writers to follow, and re-immersing myself into this lovely community!
#writing#writeblr#writeblr introduction#new writeblr#writeblr intro#undine speaks#undine intro#y'all can you believe#i've never actually made an intro post#when i first started writeblr#it wasn't really a thing??#or at least#a thing that i was aware about#i'm finally doing it#i'm finally catching up#i'm finally a real writeblr#im so excited
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