#thank you tiktok for reminding me
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happy jegulus day to all who celebrate
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This pic is literally the foundation for all of my Wu and Lloyd headcannons and fics (ideas)
Them and their bond are so very special to me. Wu as the father figure. He literally loves Lloyd like a son. Just them
#they are my everything#wu they could never make me hate you#i wish there were more fics of just their relationship#like cmon#thank dragons rising for making them more important#Garmadon and Misako i love you but that kid is Wu's now#thinking abt that tiktok aound that's like:#a boy would be the son of france but you marie therese shall be mine#the green ninja may be Garmadon's son (and the fsm's grandson) but Lloyd is just Wu's#ninjago#lloyd garmadon#master wu#ninjago wu#ninjago lloyd#sensei wu#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#they also remind me of a relationship from an old german tv show#where a girl has shitty parents and grows attached to a an older woman that lost her daughter#like yea close enough#(that one ends in tragedy though so...)
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Every time someone says that Ghost isn’t actually satanic I remember about this interview and snort
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both. at the same time.
#maple and dipper are about to get some more relatives#😮💨#stanley pines#stanford pines#thank you tiktok for reminding me how FINE these two are#gravity falls#angelsaysshit
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Ike Amadi’s delivery of the lines “Whoever you are, face me” and “I am his father” during The Cauldron quest will never not hit I’m so sorry if you’re not a Davrin enjoyer what are you doing
#thank you tiktok for serving me clips i needed the reminder#davrin#dragon age: the veilguard#datv spoilers#dragon age spoilers
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thinkin bout that "too many hats in game design" post.
I love to collaborate. most of my game design career has been collaborative. the problem is everyone's a game designer, and far fewer people are layout artists and editors and marketers and the like (in my experience). and at a certain point of collaboration, if you're the only one with a certain skillset, you ONLY get to use that skillset and there's no time for anything else.
not sure where I'm going with this except that I've been thinking about how much I love layout design but how I also don't love it enough to give up the part of game design that is actually designing the games.
#the lady rambles#i spend way more time doing layout and copyediting than I do actually writing when I'm collaborating (usually)#and that's okay sometimes! but designing solo has at least let me go “oh yeah that's right I am a game designer”#and not just thinking of myself as a secondary appendage to the design process#i also think the whole hats metaphor falls apart if you don't think about game design from the perspective of “i want to sell/live off this#and instead just create for the joy of creating and making weird shit#thanks izze for reminding me that i can do that#and it doesn't have to be a game that's all over tiktok and kickstarter and whatever#it's enough for one person to like it (even if that person is just me)
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We totally get how ur feeling about your art. We also only ever do finished pieces too. But your art is amazing and you still have all the time in the world to improve. You don’t have to be perfect ever or right now. Its okay to not be in the creative spirit 24/7. We always enjoy whatever you post and we see so many other people who love your art as well. But under no circumstances does that mean you have to pump it out constantly. 💗💗💗 you deserve good things and rest. ☺️
Thank you <333333333
Your kind words are making my heart do backflips
#I need to learn that I can rest and I don’t constantly have to do stuff to be accepted by the people#and by the people I mean me#because I’m just projecting my own high standards onto everyone else#and I should just do backflips#that reminds me of a tiktok I saw#the text was#me showing geto I’m not like other monkeys#and the video was of a monkey doing a backflip#Idk why I’m telling you people this in these tags of this sweet message#What am I saying#anyway#thank you guys for being so kind to me#I definitely don’t deserve it
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nevermind about the male manipulator music FUCKK THIS!!
#venting-ish in tags dont read thes e..... i just need to rant so. trigger. warning for sh i think? mention#its not that serious i am just talking#WHY IS LISTENINH TO SOME SONGS SO HARDSUAHAJ dude i saw some tiktok to nights like these by pigeon pit DO NOT PLAY THAT SONG AROUND ME.#OHHH MY LORDDD i was so close to relapsin g.... over a song..... crazyzyy....#i guess its songs i listened to when i was actively shing because like i. will cry#or even when i was clean and like. just. sad like i feel so many emotions??#pigeon pit when i catch you..#actually if you ever catch me listening to nights like these i need a wellness check#i cried so hard last time i listened to it#because i always forget that. i used to be like Sad#moreee than sad but you know. in a bad mental state i guess and its liek YOU REMINDED ME!!#not just that song there are others#ok rant over thank you diary
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sometimes i have to remind myself i'm allowed to order out and get something i didn't make for dinner
i so rarely order food that i don't have to make for myself
so i'm having wings for dinner
#thanks random tiktoker for reminding me that sometimes you just gotta enjoy shit#i needed that today
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Okay!!!!!!!!! I watched GO2!!!!!!!!! I’m once again feeling insane
#good omens#I’ve been busy but I finally watched the whole season#screaming and cheering at the end lmao mean!!!!!! I was like ok based on how everyone’s being they’re gonna be separated at the end#and Christine and I were like ok is aziraphale gonna be offered a job. and is he gonna take it. 🤨#but I did NOT think there was also gonna be a whole ass Crowley confessing his feelings scene where he Kissed Him On The Mouth#they’re insane for this#Christine: well we are in a post-ofmd world. me: I forgot about that. I’m still trapped in spn mindset hell#what do u mean the two pale coconuts actually jumped together on screen#*bumped#anyways. I get it guys#also tho I’m so excited lol are they gonna be nemeses next season???????? that’s my dream!!! I always want to see friends etc that then#become foes bc of Circumstances#but also tell me aziraphale wasn’t already like Oh I Fucked Up by the end of the ep#how long until he tries to go back to Crowley and this time I think he’ll actually have to do any amt of work to earn Crowleys forgiveness#which he rly has never had to do before lol#but that man Fucked Up “I forgive you shut up!!!!! 😭#also the blatant amount of dr who references. yeah I remember he’s the doctor thank you for reminding me!!!!!!#I saw a tiktok that was like all my teenage girls in their 20s rn are like BARK BARK BARK WOOF MEOW about David Tennant rn and it’s soo true#The Eternal Tumblr Sexyman#ANYWAYS AGAIN#I’m just dispensing all my thoughts here bc I don’t have time to scroll through a tag and feel insane and I don’t need to barf all these#onto someone else’s post#so here we are#I need to find something else to think about today bc every time I remember crowleys face as he was trying to eek out an I Love You I feel#physically nauseous#what am I supposed to do after that!#sorry to anyone who read all these tags I didn’t mean to
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Okay, so, I was just casually scrolling through Tiktok when I remembered that there had been a french movie called "Der Fuchs und das Mädchen" (The fox and the girl) and of course my brain decided to make it xiyao.
But very tragic bad end xiyao. Maybe JGY reincarnating as a fox and finding LXC in his house in the CR where he is in seclusion.
Just the whole movie, but with LXC as the girl and JGY as the fox...
And maybe JGY can turn into a human at some point, but he gets discovered and LXC can't rescue him in time.
#it's not even midday and I already made me sad#but it would work so well for xiyao#maybe I make this my holiday writing project#thanks fox tiktok#it's your fault for reminding me of that movie#it's a french movie#Le renard et l'énfant#but the towards the end when the girl takes the fox to their room and the fox panics and jumps out the window#make this lxc trying to lock up jgy so that he won't be taken away again from him#but jgy panics and escapes only to run into someone who knows him and injures/kills him#also xiyao fox babies bc I need them for the end#you can fit so much hurt and angst in this#is it a bad or happy ending?#idk#xiyao#lxc#jgy#lan xichen#jin guangyao#fanfic idea#akikos shitpost#mdzs#cql
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Still not over that fucking Seattle Krakens BookTok drama. These little idiots were mass-scale sexually harassing that guy and getting rewarded for it and then mad about getting gently called out by his wife. Fuck off lmao. Die by my hand.
#(screams)#im gonna kill these mfs i hate these self aggrandizing unserious fucks#Seattle Krakens#BookTok#I hate living in a world where im gonna have to put up with those braindead little fucks during my career.#please TikTok die or I die before I have to put together a fucking promotional package for that goddamned site#i'd rather off myself. i swear to god.#withcindy thank you for reminding me how badly i need to stay off that app
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This was so hot, idk know what it is abt dom Felix but good god. And the sprinkle of degradation, usually it’s not my cup of tea but this was done in a way that doesn’t make you feel like crying lmao.
Yes, master
pairing: lee felix x afab!reader
word count: 3k
description: you and your boyfriend are youtubers who share cute prank videos on youtube. one day you decide to prank him with a maid outfit, and it ends just how you intended.
genre: smut, fluff
warning/s: use of master, spanking, lots of dirty talk, degradation & praising, reader is called slut, unprotected p in v (don't do it)
a/n: inspired by renjie&binbin on yt, go check them out, they're adorable. also yes another felix scenario, what can i say he inspires me hehe
Your outfit was finally here. You had ordered it on the internet 2 weeks ago when you planned out the next prank for your dear boyfriend. You couldn't be more excited.
Both of you loved playing harmless jokes on each other, and most of the pranks you did had the goal of riling each other up for later. Every time you turned off the camera, you would be all over each other, sometimes you'd even leave it on and later watch the footage together, careful to cut out the sexual part before posting the video online. You kept all the spicy parts to yourselves, it was somewhat of a private collection of yours.
You had quite a good following of loyal fans who watched you grow with each other through the last 6 years of your relationship. Everything was filmed, not only the pranks, but vlogs of your travel adventures, your move to a bigger apartment, you getting a promotion at your work etc. Both of you loved having sort of an online diary of your memories and loved sharing your good vibes with other people.
People always viewed you two as two cutie pies, yes, your pranks were suggestive but no one could guess how freaky both of you actually are. Felix especially was seen as this sweet innocent sunshine boy but you knew better. And that's why you couldn't wait to provoke him with that maid outfit you ordered.
The next morning, you quietly slipped out of bed, having to cautiously roll out of Felix's arms cause he always clung onto you like a koala while you slept. His brows furrowed and you gently pushed your pillow between his arms so it would replace you. You tiptoed to the bathroom, after grabbing the maid dress you hid in the closet last night. You got ready and hurried downstairs to make breakfast before your boyfriend wakes up.
When you were done, you ofcourse went to set up the cameras. One was above the bed, and you had to basically do gymnastics quietly just so you can set it up without waking Felix up. You also set up two other ones in different corners of the room.
"Hi guys! It's morning and Felix is still sleeping."- you say to the one of the cameras in the corner, moving your body as you scrunch your face up and point at your boyfriend's sleeping form behind you. "Sleepy head."- you giggle quietly.
"As you can see, I'm wearing a maid outfit. I'm going to prank him or rather surprise him today with serving him dressed like this all day."- you announce. "I'm also gonna call him master. Let's see how he reacts."
Satisfied with the intro, you go back downstairs to grab the tray with breakfast that you prepared. You set it aside on the night stand, and sit on the bed next to Felix.
"Lixie, wake up."- you whisper quietly, caressing his hair and winking at the camera above you.
"Mhm."- he grunts, eyes still closed.
"Lixieeeee. Baby. I have something for you."- you giggle as you continue carding your fingers through his soft hair.
"Mm. What?"- he turns to you and finally blinks his eyes open. He squints at first, the expression on his face that of confusion. He didn't register your outfit yet. You wait for him to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes.
"Oh."- his eyes widden when he takes in your appearance. You were sitting back on your feet, a skimpy maid dress revealing your plush thighs and giving you the perfect amount of cleavage.
"What're you wearing?"- he asks, blood rushing downwards, but then he notices the camera placed perfectly above his face, he groans and starts chuckling.
"I'm here to serve you, master. I made you breakfast."- you say and start giggling with him because that coming out of your mouth at this moment is funny to the both of you.
"Oh my god, you're crazy."- he laughs, his face red as he pulls the blanket up to his neck. "Wait."- he adds, his hand sneaking out from under the blanket and landing on your thigh.
"Are you wearing anything under this?"- he smirks, lifting up on his elbows and sliding his hand towards the hem of your dress.
"Felix!"- you squeal pointing at the camera and he laughs.
"What? We can cut it out later."- he chuckles, making a motion towards the camera.
"Stop it."- you laugh slapping his hands away. He groans again, smacking his head on the pillow.
"Come on, eat your breakfast."- you say. He sits up and looks right between your legs, wiggling his eyebrows at you suggestively.
"The food I made. With love. For my master."- you bat your eyelashes at him, you've never called him that before today but even though he was laughing at it because of the camera, you could see how it affected him.
"Ask nicely, hm?"- he says and there's a shiver running down your spine.
"Please, master?"- you bite your lip.
"Alright, when my baby put in such an effort."- he smirks and you chuckle at him. He grabs the tray but before he can put any food in his mouth, you grab the fork and bring it to his lips.
"Are you gonna feed me?"- he chuckles.
"Well yes. My master doesn't have to do anything. Today is the day I serve you master."- as you keep talking, his eyes are getting darker and your cunt is getting wetter. For some reason, you liked calling him that and liked seeing his reactions. You caught even the smallest ones, like his eyebrow twitching every time you said the word 'master'.
His hands kept wandering to your thighs as you fed him and you had to constantly remind him that the cameras were on even though you were pressing your thighs together. And he knew. You were getting needy too but he wanted to tease you too, it was one of his favorite things to do anyways.
So when you moved to the bathroom, carrying a camera with you, you grabbed his toothbrush and he chuckled again. He looked a bit flustered when he realized you actually wanted to brush his teeth.
"Y/n, that's sweet of you but I can do it on my own."- he chuckled, his hands coming up to hug himself as his face got redder. He glanced at the camera and you laughed, feeling shy suddenly.
"Please, let me do it. Master."
He couldn't say no. Both of you were trying not to burst out into laughter as you attempted to brush his teeth. It got too messy so he just grabbed the toothbrush and continued on his own as you playfully pouted at him.
"I'll help you wash your hair. Please, master?"- you ask when he's done.
"Sure, that'd be nice."- he chuckles.
You adjust the camera so the viewers can look at you both from the side. You put a towel on the sink so he can lean his head down, and he chuckles again, eyes trailing to the camera. You start getting his hair wet and Felix looks at the viewfinder, finding a blind spot where no one could see his wandering hand.
You almost jump out of your skin when you feel his hand on the back of your thigh but you opt to act like nothing is happening. Felix looks up at you innocently as you grab the shampoo. His hand slowly travels up, fingertips tickling your sensitive skin. His fingers come into contact with a wet patch that formed on the thin lacy panties you wore under your maid dress.
Your hands tremble and you almost drop the bottle of shampoo on his head, but for the sake of entertainment you ignore his hand and start joking around. He jokes back with you, but you can feel his fingertips pressing into your cunt, teasing you as he slowly runs them over it then to your clit, making little circular motions into it before sliding his fingers down your lips again. You let out a shaky breath and clear your throat to cover it up.
You start rinsing his hair out, and he decides to move your panties to the side just enough to uncover your hole before he pushes one finger between your folds. Your knees buckle but you chuckle nervously as he eyes you, his eyes darkened with lust but there's still an innocent smile on his face. If only the viewers knew.
You stay perfectly still, only spreading your legs a bit so he can fuck into you deeper. He's moving slow, torturing you but you know you brought that on yourself. As you grab another towel to dry his hair, he presses his thumb into your clit and pushes his middle finger deeper into you making you gasp.
"What's wrong, darling?"- Felix grins at you.
"N-nothing."- you shake your head glancing at the camera as you dry his hair. He pulls his finger out, moving his hand away from you much to your disappointment but you had to go get the hair dryer. You still need some content for your video. So you stand between his legs and dry his hair, his hands running up and down the back of your knees and thighs as you both continue chuckling and talking like he didn't just pull his finger out of your cunt. You're becoming desperate now and you can't wait to film the outro so you can turn off the camera and let your boyfriend fuck you.
But Felix had other plans for you. As soon as you walk back into the room, you put the camera down so you can film an outro together but before you can even start talking your boyfriend grabs your face and crashes his lips into yours.
"Lix-" - your voice is muffled as he kisses you harder and forces his tongue inside, making you moan into his lips. You grip onto his arms and try to pry him away from you.
"L-Lixie we didn't film an outro."- you heave, trying to catch a breath after he stole it from you.
"Oh we're filming it now, sweets."- he smirks at the camera and then looks back at you.
"You said you'd serve me all day. As far as I know it's not even noon so you're not done yet."- Felix says and he's rarely so dominant with you. It makes you tingle with anticipation.
"Get on your knees and serve me then."- he says, his voice low.
You look at him for a moment but there's nothing but dark lust in his eyes so you know better than to not obey. You slowly fall down to your knees as he pulls his pants and boxers down.
"And it's master for you, not Lixie, okay?"- he adds, his cock now inches away from your face, you lick your lips and nod fast.
"Words."- he warns, slapping your cheek with his hard cock and you whimper.
"Mm yes master."- you say and he smirks again.
"Open your pretty mouth for me."- he orders and you do as you're told, opening wide for him and he slowly pushes his cock in. You glance at the camera and see yourself in the viewfinder, your mouth stuffed full of your boyfriend's pretty cock.
You moan around him and Felix tangles his fingers in your hair.
"You look so pretty like this. Come on darling, show everyone how desperate you are for my cock."- he grips your hair pushing in deeper and you choke a little, tears forming in your eyes and arousal pooling on your panties. You start bobbing your head, taking as much as you can and jerking off the rest with your hand. Felix keeps grunting and holding your head in place so you don't dare lift off of him.
"Mm everyone will know how you're such a slut for me, darling."- your boyfriend coos at you and you feel like people are actually watching you do this live even though you know they aren't. It makes you feel so embarassed but so aroused at the same time, the thought of people knowing who you belonged to and whose cock you were drunk on. Your throat relaxed a little and you breathed deep through your nose as you slid down on Felix's cock, his tip hitting the back of your throat and your nose touching his navel.
"Fuck baby!"- he grips your hair hard, his legs shaking. "You're gonna make me come"- he hisses and pulls you off, a string of saliva between you and his hard cock.
He smirks at your expression, turning your face to the camera.
"She looks so fucked out and I haven't even touched her pussy"- Felix talks like he's talking to your viewers and a wave of hotness washes over you.
"Please."- you whimper.
"Please what?"- he looks down at you darkly.
"I need you inside me. Please master! I'll do anything!"- you beg on the verge of tears, your pussy aching for him.
"Anything?"- he lifts his eyebrow and you nod fervently.
"Oh, we'll explore that."- he smirks. "Face the camera."- he adds and you do as you're told, your heart beating fast in anticipation.
"Get on all fours, darling."- Felix orders and you do so, leaning down on your hands, your ass up in the air and legs spread for him. Usually, he takes his time with you especially with his tongue and fingers, he enjoys eating you out maybe even more than you do. But, today he's had enough of your teasing, the maid dress driving him more insane than anything you've ever worn for him.
You feel him massage your wet pussy with the tip of his rock hard cock and you melt instantly, leaning back to feel him more.
"Is this what you want, hm?"- he teases a little more.
"Please please please!"- you whine, pushing your ass into him.
"Fuck!"- he curses as he pushes his length in, his eyes rolling back as your cunt sucks him in fast, since you were so wet and needy.
You moan loudly at the familiar stretch, your boyfriend's cock fitting snuggly inside the space made only for him.
"So tight for me."- Felix whimpers.
He grips your hips and starts fucking you semi-fast and you start moaning immediately, scratching at the wooden floor beneath you.
"You want a good outro baby? How about this, hm? Letting everyone see how dumb you are on my cock."- Felix growls, pounding harder into you.
"M-master"- you moan, unable to form any coherent sentence with the force of his hips on your ass and his thick cock splitting you apart.
"Look at you."- he coos grabbing your hair and pulling your head back harshly so you can see yourself in the viewfinder.
"Taking it so well. Such a good girl. Made to be fucked like this."- he says lowly. Your mind buzzes along with your whole body and you think you've never came this fast or this hard.
Felix whines at the feeling of your pussy clenching around him.
"You came already? So desperate. So pathetic." - he chuckles at you, spanking your ass. You whimper and bite down on your arm to stop yourself from screaming at his words and his relentless hips.
"You like when I talk to you like this?"- he asks and you whimper and nod fast.
"Use your words!"- your boyfriend spanks you harder.
"Yes, yes master!"
"You like when I tell you that you were made just for this? To be fucked dumb on my cock. Just my little play toy."- he talks as he fucks you harder, the tip of his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you every time he pushes in.
"Mm yes master"- you whine, your mind cloudy.
"Made to please me. My little slut"- he chuckles darkly pulling on your hair and you explode all over his cock again.
"M-master!"- you cry out as he helps you ride your high. "I can't take anymore."
"Yes you can. One more. For me. Come on baby, you can come for me one more time."- Felix coos at you, hovering over you and caressing your hair, his hips less brutal but still moving deep inside you, abusing that sweet spot.
"I- I can't master please"- you whimper, but you know you're close and you want to obey him.
His hand is between your legs, fingers pressing into your clit as he flicks it and starts fucking you faster again.
"Oh my god"- you whimper, pushing back into him, the pleasure in the pain of overstimulation driving you wild.
"Yeah just like that baby. Fuck yourself on my cock."- Felix moans behind you, his hips stuttering and you know he's close too.
You keep pushing back into him in the same pace he's fucking you in, and it doesn't take long for you to be on the edge again. He knows when your pussy clenches around him deliciously.
"Come for me darling"- he says, gripping your hair and you do. But this time you squirt making him pull out and whimper as you coat him with your juices. Felix watches it slide down your thighs as he jerks off once, twice before he explodes, hot spurts of cum painting your ass and the back of your thighs, mixing with your arousal.
"Fuck"- he groans as you breathe hard. He hovers over you, moving your hair out of your face gently.
"Are you okay, baby?"- he asks, a sweet smile on his face, contrast to the dark look he was giving you just a few moments ago.
"More than okay. That was really hot."- you turn a little and he scoops you up in his arms, pulling you into his lap, not caring about the mess you both made.
"I agree. How about next time I wear the maid dress for you?"- he looks at you with big innocent eyes, the look everyone's familiar with but only you know the meaning of.
"I think that's a wonderful idea."- you chuckle and lean in to kiss his pretty lips.
"Mhm. But since I'm not done with you yet... how about you lay down on the bed and spread your legs for me?"
"Yes, master."
#giving dom Felix head should be on everyone’s bucket list#he’s so fine I hate it tbh#i’d let him ruin me#would literally suck his soul out 10/10#the maid cracking me up a lil cuz all I reminds me of is pandemic TikTok#I love this tho thank you for sharing ur talented lil brain with us
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i think when a deity is the god of something specific it's actually their hyperfixation
#ares? he'd know a lot about history i think#Poseidon's a marine biology nerd and i respect that#Dionysus IS a frat guy but he reminds me of the tiktok guy who makes random shit into mead (but make it wine)#the gods are neurodivergent thank you for listening#greek mythology
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went to see hozier last night and like, it was the third time i’ve seen him but first headline and just like. idk it will never fail to amaze me how take me to church will Always be that bitch
#we recently reminded that song came out just before i turned 16 like i can’t believe the first time i heard that song#was likely on fucking fm radio in my dinky little hometown#like that song coming out before the era of streaming (for the most part) is mind blowing to me for some reason#in a way i’m grateful for though?#he’s one of those artists that i’m so thankful was coming up before the modern era of social media#bc i just don’t know if the vibe would have stuck if a guy like him was forced to do endless tiktok promo ya know#anyway i’ve never understood organized religion in the way that i do when surrounded by like 10k people singing take me to church#also do you guys remember take me to snurch (snail church)
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you lock the 141 outside your house (I know my rights tiktok)
pairing: task force 141 (ghost, gaz, price, soap) x american!female reader
synopsis: you lock them out of your (their?) house, claiming you "know your rights." based on a tiktok trend with soldiers.
warnings: none just fluff and humor :)))
a/n: I wrote this in like an hour and I think it's the funniest thing EVER thanks
Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List
requests open for tf141!
SEE TIKTOK HERE
—
Ghost:
You watch as your boyfriend gets out of his truck in the driveway. He grabs his bag from the passenger seat and makes his way to the front door, a smile twitching under his mask at the sight of you waiting for him.
Just as he steps to the porch, you close the door and lock it. “I know my third amendment rights!”
Ghost stops at the door, dropping his bag. Rights? What were you talking about? “Your what?”
“No Soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner,” You reply, reading off your phone.
Ghost sighs. Third amendment? Of course, the one American he dates is the one that has them all memorized. You could probably recite them in your sleep. Patriotism, or whatever. Which makes zero sense. You were living with him in Manchester. If all went well and you got married, he was making sure he changed your status to British.
“You fucking Americans.” He grabs the key from his bag, going to unlock the door only to find you locking it. “Are you serious?”
You show your phone at him through the glass, the third amendment displayed on a Google search. He stares back at you from his mask, unamused. “Bloody hell, woman,” he mutters.
You giggle from behind the door and give him a few more minutes before going to unlock it. You knew Simon’s limits. You only needed a few seconds of fun anyway, but by the time you unlock it, he’s gone.
“Simon?” You call out, poking your head out the door and checking around the house. His truck was still there, so he didn’t turn back around. You don’t see any movements or even hear anything. Was he picked up by aliens?
A thud sounds from behind you, and you yelp, shutting the door and turning around.
Simon stands in front of you, arms crossed and his duffel bag on the floor.
“What the hell?” You said, looking him up and down.
“I should be asking you that,” He retorts. “You should really lock your windows, love.”
“Are you… did you climb through one?”
“You locked me out.”
“I went to unlock it!”
“Third amendment rights, my arse.” He grabs your waist, pulling you towards him. “We’re in England.”
You shrug, tracing up his arm. “Thought it was funny.”
Simon just sighs. “Americans.”
Gaz:
“Oh, hell no!” You exclaim as Gaz approaches the door. “I know my third amendment rights.” The lock clicks.
“No fucking way,” Gaz said, strolling up to the glass storm door.
“No soldiers in this home.”
He stares at you, his hands on his hips and that signature scowl on his face. There was no way he was coming home to this bullshit right now. “Open the door.”
“No quartering soldiers without my permission,” You replied.
Gaz rolls his eyes. Your home? He was pretty sure his name was on the mortgage, even if you were living in it 90% of the time. “I own the fucking property! I live here. You’re the guest.”
You shrug, grinning. “Not anymore.”
He runs a hand down his face. Sometimes just sometimes he regrets finding your stubbornness so damn attractive. “I’m going to crash out, actually.”
“Crash outside? Yeah.”
“Let me in!” He shouts, grabbing the door handle and jiggling it.
“No!” You shout back, holding onto it and preventing him from entering without your permission.
Gaz leans against the glass. “Remind me why I chose to date an American?”
You smile at him. “Because we’re funny, and we have better Chinese food.”
He glares at you, trying to unlock the door again. He groans when there’s no avail. “Babe!”
You say nothing, finding his annoyance quite amusing and a change of pace for once.
And then he actually crashes out, grabbing the handle and pulling, twisting, pounding at it. He yells a string of curse words and then starts banging on the doorframe. He gives up, frowning, and leans his forehead on the glass. “Please?”
You unlock it. “Thought you’d never ask.”
He storms inside, throwing you over his shoulder. “You are so in for it.”
“I like where this is going,” You giggle as he throws you on the couch.
He raises a brow, hands coming to your waist. “Yeah?” He starts tickling you. You yelp, laughing under him and trying to push away.
Gaz doesn’t relent and continues tickling you even after you’ve pleaded with him to stop. “You lock me out of my fucking claim it’s your right,” He mutters. “Consider this my very reasonable punishment.”
Soap:
“I know my rights!” You shout, watching Soap approach the door.
He stops in his tracks, tilting his head. He had no idea what you said. The poor guy could barely hear from all the bombs going on around him, and you shout through a door? Good plan. “What are you on about?” He asked.
“There will be no soldiers in my home!” You close the glass door and lock it.
He approaches the front door, staring at you through the glass. His expression is clueless, brows furrowed. “You mean our home?” He knocks on the glass. “Can I come in?”
“Nope!”
He frowns. “Why?”
“Third amendment.”
“Amendment?” He scoffs. What the hell are you talking about? Is this what he gets for dating an American? You start proclaiming your rights? What’s next, the pledge of allegiance? “Are you taking the piss? Does this look like the land of the free?”
You giggle at him, his accent thickening with his frustration. “I’m still an American!”
“Trust me, I know! Can I please come inside?”
“No soldiers allowed.” You tape up a piece of paper displaying those words.
Soap continues frowning at you and realizes he isn’t going to be let in anytime soon. It’s a good thing he knew how to easily change that. Americans and their rights. More like Americans and their feelings. He sits down on the porch steps, facing away from you, rests his chin in his hand, and sighs loudly.
You don’t budge.
He sighs again, kicking his boots on the porch, turning back at you with sad eyes. Still nothing. He concludes there was one last option to get you to let him in. He grabs his phone, and you watch with furrowed brows as he types something in. Suddenly, music is blasting from his phone as he looks at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes ever. Not just any music, but the sad hamster violin music.
“Oh my god.” You unlock the door, opening it up to him. “You’re such a baby.”
He practically skips inside, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Your baby.”
Price:
Your husband stands on the porch, rolling his eyes at you.
“I know my rights!” You shout at him through the window.
“Do you, now?” He asked, playing along with your prank or whatever this was. If it brought you this much amusement to lock him out, he might as well indulge in it. That was the kind of man he was. Until he started freezing of course, then he would demand you let him in.
You nod your head. “As an American, amendment 3 of the Bill of Rights says that I don’t have to house you if I don’t want to.”
Price hums. At least they taught you something in American schools. “Does that extend when you’re in another country?”
“It does to me.”
He huffs, grabbing something from his pocket and displaying it to you. “You know I have a house key, yes?”
“I’ll just lock it again.”
He tilts his head at you. You were really trying to sell whatever rights you thought you had. “Really?”
“I’m taking this very seriously.”
Price strokes his beard. “I can see that.” An idea pops into his head, and he steps away from the glass and in front of the door. You didn’t want to let him in? That’s fine. You wanted to lock the door? No problem. He’s got methods of entering from being in the military, after all. “Guess I’ll just have to kick down the door.” He raises his foot, fully intent on doing it. You were going to repaint the door anyway, might as well get a new one.
You swing open the door. “Are you crazy?”
He strolls past you. “Did I lock you outside our home? Besides, crazy would’ve been bombing the house.”
Your lips parted, unsure if he was joking. You assume he is, but his expression says otherwise. “Are you being serious?”
He laughs at your face, grabbing your hand. “Only if you start proclaiming your rights again.”
You put your hands up. “What rights? Suddenly, I’m feeling like this soldier can stay as long as he likes.”
Price presses a gentle kiss to your lips. “Thought so.”
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