#thank you so much again for being so supportive of

[psycheetamore]

@houserautha : thank you for this vulnerable post. I feel you. I support you. I love you for writing this. I love you for writing TDE and the one shots.

When I first joined Tumblr I did not feel entitled to comment on anything. Now I have more of a FU, I will comment on whatever approach. So where I may not have been commenting on every single bit, I have been mentioning your work here and there.

Let me be a bit introspective. Show some of the negative impacts the point you raise, which I also undergo, have caused me to commit.

A first disclaimer to add: I know I am in no way entitled to any response from anyone. This is a me-problem. I know that. That does not mean it does not hurt. But that is not a you-problem, it is a me-problem.

I have been inclined so often to make a similar post. But what refrained me, is that I know some of the topics I explore in my fics are quite niche, and that I know my writing qualities are nowhere near for instance yours. Anyhow, it has made me feel not entitled to make this observation, but if you do it, with your wonderful writing style and mix of plot & smut, while capturing our na-Baron's heart perfectly, then I am entitled to support you by sharing my own feelings.

A bit of background on what I have tried to do to keep the fandom alive, and how it has (not) been responded to:

I try to comment increasingly on posts, trying to increase engagement and kickstart a convo. Sometimes I will go out of my way and do lenghty reposts. Yet this more often does not result in any responses than it does. Again: I am not entitled to any response, me responding does not mean anyone is obliged to respond. But even the lack of a smiley or whatever makes me feel like I am a social outcast (it throws me back to my youth, truly). Sometimes I will see in the blogger's page that they are on a spectrum, which removes that negative feeling btw - in such cases I will continue.

I became a member to a Feyd community (invitation only thing). I felt so honoured! I dragged in some of my favourite fanfic writers, who all happily obliged. Only to see that after a first few posts from my hand the responses started to decline. With the last posts resulting in zero engagement. Nobody owes me anything, but it makes it hard to stay in there. It feels like rejection (more on that below), and I have too much self respect to act like a puppy being kicked repeatedly yet coming back. Again: this is all about my feelings, and nobody owes me shit.

I write fanfic. My writing style is not there with the Feyd author gods I so adore. Working on that, pouring my heart and soul in it, and it is ok if people don't like it. Somehow, few likes and no comments allows me to see my fic as niche, while a lot of likes and no comments make me feel more empty? I don't know.

And it has started to bug me. It has caused me to have periods of negative vibes around tumblr. It has concretely caused a few types of responses:

I have stepped out of the Feyd Tumblr Community Group. I thought about it for a few months. Was very reluctant as I dragged in quite a few people. That tbh has reduced these feelings; stepping out of that has been positive for my mental welbeing.

With people who engage with me, I will return the favour. With people who don't, I will feel reluctance. With a few I even thought about unfollowing them. I prioritise commenting on authors who engage with me on a regular basis, over great authors who don't. Perhaps it is because it makes me feel they are entitled. This is bad, because this causes the downward spiral. And there could be good reasons why they do not ready any of the fics I write, even if I tag them very deliberately (I do not tag a lot). And again: I am not entitled to anything. But it hurts. And effectively it makes me respond & engage less than if I would be a 100% happy go lucky me. Want my engagement, want my engagement continuously? A little pat on the back will go a far way.

I write less than I would want to. I am an extravert. I thrive on engagement with people. Bouncing ideas of them. Lack of it has a negative impact.

Esp around christmas I felt quite horrible about all of this. It was esp the result of a few bloggers who suddenly did not respond anymore. It made me feel so rejected. Like I did something wrong. It made me contemplate quitting tumblr a couple of times. But I decided not to do that, because this is not the first time this happened, so it is something linked to me, not tumblr as such. It made me do some soulsearching. It stems from my youth. I listened to quite some podcasts, read articles etc. I learned that I am hardwired for rejection. Everything that happens, or does not happen, will be seen in my head as rejection. I feel so freaking ashamed to admit this, tbh. I have only 1 real life friend I dared to admit this to. I felt so ashamed around christmas, that I was being brought to these obsessive feelings over a fricking fandom. I am nearly at tears writing this. No, let's be honest. I am in tears.

And this is all not helping the fandom! I am showing behaviour that is not helping this fandom I so much love. With the bloggers I mentioned who stopped responding, I later on continued to have some nice convo's (but I feel held back to show myself as deeply as I did before - I am hardwired for rejection), showing it is a problem with me and how I interpret actions.

But that is all not helping the point you so rightfully raise. The topic on how we keep this fandom alive.

To keep it alive we do not need a lot of people, we need a few people who are willing to engage a lot.

In the real world my suggestion would be to gather a core group of Feyd girlies who see this as an issue and have proven to be active and supportive, and do something about it. Like voluntarily promise to try to support each other. I hoped this would be the case with the Feyd community I stepped out of last week, but unfortunately it wasn't.

This is a fandom: the fact that it is declining is by itself the rightful consequence of its members not feeling it is worth having. So, my crude conclusion is that the decline is the natural consequence of what all of us are willing to put into this.

But, now I have poured my heart and soul into this post, it has caused relief. And I have an idea. Because not only am I hardwired to find rejection and look at myself in a bad way, I am also hardwired to see solutions.

personally I think it’s a shame how fandoms “died” too soon these days. I’m not talking in literal sense and I know there are people who stay passionate about their fandoms long after the hype is gone. I’m talking about the “popularity” and how people in general engage with a piece of media they like and how fast they let the hype die down? I don’t know if I’m making any sense, but what I’m trying to say is a fanfic or a fan art of a show that is recently released will get tons of likes, comments, reblogs which is great. but the engagement for fan made content about that same show usually drops drastically — and I mean drastically — once the show is no longer “recent”. and I’m not even talking about when the show is several years old. because you can see the significant drop of engagement a fanfic or fan art about that show receives once the show is like a month old or two. it’s discouraging how most people tend to lose interest and stop engaging with fanfic / fan art once its source material is no longer “new and shiny”.

especially when writing fanfics and creating fan art take time. writers and artists often receive less engagement / appreciation for their works if they take “too long” to create and the source material is no longer “new and shiny” and so people move on to something else that’s new and shiny. it’s heartbreaking to see.

obviously this is in no way to manipulate or guilt trip people into engaging with anything. because yeah you can do whatever you want. this isn’t to force, manipulate or guilt trip anyone into liking or reblogging a fan work or anything. this is just me hoping people will one day take things slower and enjoy things they’re passionate about longer like how we used to in the past.

[tsukuhoe]

22. baby, i know cw: heavy mentions of alcohol, teeny bit angsty, wc: 1.8k

you stood in front of the door, your fingers fumbling with the handle. “shit,” you muttered under your breath. you lean on the garage door, arms full of beer bottles and knocked. “hey shitheads?” no answer. you flick a switch, and the garage door opens, and as you walk towards the garage door, the door closes. you look back to see a costumed ghostface closing the garage door. 

“...is that you randy?” the masked man shakes his head. no. 

“what movie is this from? i spit on your garage?” you scoff in return. “lose the costume; if sidney sees it, she’ll flip.” you walk towards the costume. he’s shaking his head again. 

“oh, you wanna play psycho killer?” you said, tilting your head slightly, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “can i be the helpless victim?” 

he masked figure nods. you cocked her head to the side, looking him up and down. “oh no, please don’t kill me mr. ghostface, i wanna be in the sequel!” you said, scoffing, then pushing him to the side. however, instead, the masked face grabbed your arm and pulled out a knife. a few bottles in your arm dropped and shattered as he dragged the prop against your arm, fake blood coming out of the tube. “ah!” 

immediately, you ran towards the fridge, slamming the top freezer in his face. he fell to the ground as you ran past him, grabbed the unshattered bottles and threw them at him once he started getting up. “fucker!” 

desperately wanting to escape, you spotted the doggy door. you quickly ran towards it, trying your best to shove your body through… unfortunately, your shoulders had made you stuck. seeing his golden opportunity, the killer flicks the switch, which opens the door… you are lifted into the air as you look up…

“CUT!” utahime’s voice booms, the entire set erupts into applause. “that was perfect, y/n and toji!” this was the last day of your filming on set. after the hard weeks of consistent filming and visiting the building, you had finished your part. you felt a lump form in your throat as you watched the cast and crew celebrate. this was the culmination of weeks of hard work, late nights, and dedication. ​​

toji walkers over to you. “we did it. we made the iconic scene.” 

you laughed softly, nodding. “we sure did.” 

after being on set with toji for a few weeks, he had gotten used to your presence, however, just because you’d been with him for a few weeks does not mean he’s fond of you now… “now you can finally scram. honestly, singing might be something you’d want to stick you.” he said with a smirk on his face. 

you could tell he was trying to get on your nerves. “awh, thank you so much mr. fushiguro! i appreciate your support in my music career!” you shot him an insincere smile, tone all cheery.  

“nah, i’d never listen to–” “SWEETS! you were amazing!” before toji could continue, gojo ran towards you and spun you around. “seriously, baby, i’ve been watching all the behind-the-scenes clips, and you nailed every scene. i’m so proud of you.” 

“thank you so much, gojo!” you giggled. you aren’t exaggerating when you say you saw literal stars in his eyes. 

“so, dinner? at kura revolving sushi bar?” he asked, setting you down on the ground. 

“yeah, of course— sorry, off topic, but do you know if kento is in the building today? i’ve been wanting to talk to him…” it had been approximately three days since you last had an actual conversation with him. could he be avoiding you? 

“ah, i don’t think so, sweets. from what i remember, he has a shooting to do for tomorrow in osaka! i think he should be on a plane by now.” right. of course. kento nanami is a busy man, this shouldn’t be surprising. however, you couldn’t help but to feel a little disappointed… by what? not getting to talk to him? you could always text him. him leaving without informing you? it’s not like you two were together; he isn’t obligated to tell you anything— so what exactly were you disappointed about? did you want to be with him? is that why you’re disappointed? before you could start spiralling even more than you already are, gojo picked up the change in your mood. 

“hey, if you want, i could pass along a message for you…? or you could even call him! i’m sure he’d be happy to receive a call from you!” he gently said, running his hands through your hair. 

“really? you’d think so?” you asked, eyes watery, tears threatening to spill out. 

“i know so. now c’mon! we don’t wanna be late to our reservation, now do we?” 

‘fuck. what in the world am i doing.’ was the only thought that ran through his head the whole car ride there. supporting you and nanami’s… relationship? whatever you two had going on. his hands gripped the steering wheel harder. he couldn’t help but to feel a jealous— bitter even. he was jealous of nanami’s relationship with you. he was bitter at himself. what did he lack? why was he even helping him? 

“we’re here!” his voice came out cheery, a total contrast to his previous thoughts while driving. you two walked in, while gojo talked to the waitress you couldn’t help but notice the sudden shift in his mood. in the car it was completely quiet, but now he’s all sunshine and smiles. he’s the world’s favourite actor (other than toji, of course) after all. 

“‘order anything ya want, sweets! it’s all on me.” he grinned, taking his seat as you settled in the booth across from him. 

“do you drink, gojo?” you asked, looking at the menu. 

“nahh, i don’t, sweets. i’m a light weight haha.” 

“oh, alright! then i won’t either!” 

“nono, drink if you want to! i don’t mind you drinking, besides i’ll be driving you home!” 

It wasn’t long before you two were laughing and nibbling on different types of sushi— salmon, tuna, avocado rolls, and takoyaki. but the drinks? that was beginning to hit you. you started with one shot, but it had been so smooth that you’d convinced yourself to have another. and then another. 

gojo watched you carefully, noting the rosy flush on your cheeks and the slightly glassy look in your eyes. you were starting to slur your words, though gojo didn’t want to say anything just yet. you two were having a great time, and the vibe was perfect.

"y/n," he said gently, "maybe we should slow down on the drinks?"

you waved him off. "i’m fine, i’m fine! just one more… okay, two more..."

he let out a small chuckle at your drunken state. “i can now see why you’re such good friends with shoko!” 

a few minutes later, you leaned back in your seat with a contented sigh, then suddenly lurched forward, your hand grabbing the edge of the conveyor belt as if to steady yourself. "i think i’m a little drunk," you admitted, your voice wobbling.

gojo couldn't help but laugh. "you think? you’ve had like, seven shots."

you giggled, your head tilting to one side as you tried to look serious. "i don’t know what’s in that drink, but it’s like magic. i feel amazing. i could totally sing karaoke right now."

the mention of singing made gojo laugh harder. "let’s just focus on not falling off the stool for now, alright, sweets?"

you blinked at him, then suddenly grinned. "you’re so funny, gojo. i think i love you."

his heart started to throb. he chuckled and reached for his glass of water. "yeah, well, i’m pretty lovable when i’m sober… let’s go home now, alright, sweets? don’t want you passing out on the conveyor belt." 

“you’re so nice, gojo.” 

“you know, you’ve been calling me gojo for a while. satoru is fine, sweets.” gojo chuckled, helping you out the booth and walking you to his car. 

“satoru… satoru… sa…toru… toru. how about toru. since y’know, you’ve been calling me these cute names, i should too!” you beamed, as he opened the passenger seat door for you. 

“sure thing, sweets.” 

the car ride to his place was quiet, you were slowly dozing off while he drove. you stared at gojo for a beat too long, his eyes soft and focused on road. "toru…" you began, your words dragging, "you know, i’ve always thought... you’re really pretty." 

his heart skipped a beat, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. he thought you were just being intoxicated. "you’re not so bad yourself," he teased, nudging you lightly. “we’ve just pulled into the parking lot. i’ll call shoko or utahime to come pick you up in a few?” 

you didn’t laugh. instead, you moved closer, your face hovering inches from his, your breath warm and scented with alcohol. gojo’s heart started to race; unsure if this was the alcohol talking or something more. fuck. he wished it was. 

“y/n, what are you—” 

before he could finish his sentence, you closed the gap between. the kiss was sudden and clumsy, but it was there— his lips pressing against yours with an intensity he wasn’t prepared for. the kiss deepened, you tasted like the alcohol you’ve been drinking earlier. gojo hates alcohol, but fuck, your taste was so addicting. he didn’t care. your hand moved to his chest, your fingers pressing into him as you leaned more into the kiss.

the kiss grew more urgent, gojo pulled away slightly, his breath shaky. “sweets, wait... you’re drunk. this isn’t—”

“i want this,” you whispered, your voice soft but insistent. your eyes searched his, a mixture of vulnerability and something deeper that made his chest tighten.

for a second, he hesitated, unsure. but there, in your gaze, was something real. something he couldn’t ignore… but he also knew this wasn’t something to rush. not like this. not when the line between friendship and something else felt too blurry. 

with a sigh, he pulled back, his thumb gently brushing your cheek. “we can’t, not like this,” he said softly. 

your eyes flickered with confusion, and for a moment, he could see the haze from the alcohol fading just a bit, replaced by something more knowing, more aware.

“i… i didn’t mean to mess things up,” you whispered, your voice small.

“you didn’t,” he said gently, placing a small peck on your forehead. “we’re just... better off waiting for a clearer moment.”

you nodded slowly, your eyes heavy with sleep now, the alcohol slowly overtaking you again. you leaned back into him, your eyelids fluttering as you tried to keep yourself awake.

he held you there, his heart racing, his mind spinning. gojo didn’t know what had just happened, but one thing was certain— he couldn’t possibly face your sober state after this— even if this kiss wasn’t genuine. even if this kiss only happened because you missed nanami. 

album bonus tracks: — hihi i'm SO sorry for the late update omg... — im going to be so fr i actually got really sad while writing this, then i started contemplating my life choices — i love gojo sm, i promise he's going to be happy TT — other than that, please lmk if there's any grammar or spelling errors! — i wanna get deeper into everyone's character so bad but i don't know when's the right time to do it 😞 — anyways, i'll try to update the next chapter sometime this week to make up for the last weeks ^.^ ⋮ MASTERLIST  ֹ⋮  PREVIOUS  ⋮  ֹNEXT

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[kyri45]

HEY. HEY YOU.

Thank you for making what you've made. I'm not talking just the AU comic (as world shatteringly phenomenal that shit is you've had the entire fandom in a chokehold from day one godDAYUM) I'm talking all the way back to the silly owl house drawings, the stickers, you've been an honest to my precious cat inspiration and lovely little lantern in my life and the lives of many others. I honestly would never have made my own spin on the mythological characters, or hell even stayed with one of my favorite fandoms if I didn't get lucky enough to experience your amazing comic. Thank you for all that you do, all you've done, and I hope you are goddamn proud of yourself for how much you've done! you are an absolute icon! as sad I am to see the silly comic end, I'm a million times happier its gone on at all, and how its had so much love and care put into it by such an amazing author and artist! You are incredible Kyri, and I can never thank you enough for being so :)

I hope you have the loveliest of lovely days, and find just as much love and excitement for whatever lies ahead, be it a new project or just some silly simple doodles while you take AN EXETREMELY EARNED BREAK BECAUSE HOLY SHIT-

but either way, again, thank you. You're one of my absolute favorite artists out there, and I wish you nothing but good vibes, and the gayest of times.

WOW a long lasting fan! thank you for the support! Hopefully I will be able to take a break ahah

[sunrisecaminus]

HIII, I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM, ITS SRSLY SO SCRUMPTIOUS? <333

I wanted to request bumblebee/ratchet/knockout/ megatron headcanons of them finding reader working on a lot of figurines and their vehicle models. I want to see how the bots would react? (Esp ratchet, I love that grumpy old man sm)

Message - DUDE JBVPAVHUBSVO! I wish I could write more, but this is all I could think of. Also awe thanks! Don't make me blush :3

Bumblebee/Knockout/Ratchet/Megatron x Reader Headcanons

Summary - Human makes their Cybertronians friend a figurine of their alt mode. All their reactions to you making them the cutest thing ever.

Warning - Cute

Bumblebee

When he finds your little workshop, watching you making a polished figurine of his car, he was fully supportive of it. He loved everything that you did and every time he saw you making your projects, Bee stays around and observes how you make the details. There is a cute joke you guys do by telling him to "freeze!!!" when he is in his alt mode. You take pictures of what he looks like to help yourself have references. Bumblebee would try so hard not to make any sound while you work, but if you ask him if he likes it…you would get loud excited beeping about how beautiful you made him. The fact he would keep every single one of them will show you how much he appreciates them. If someone told you that the figurines suck, Bumblebee would go wild and make sure that person never comes close to you again. It's funny how mad he gets to protect you, but honestly its very sweet.

Knockout

Now, Knockout would be the most obnoxious person about finding out about your skill. This man would kiss and snuggle you every day for the rest of your life after he knows. Need references? Just ask him and he would stay in his alt mode for long periods of time so you can have one you could actually look at in person. Do you understand how much this guy would adore you? Do you understand how much he adores HIMSELF?! Do you remember how in the show, Starscream would brag to everyone how he was the one to kill cliffjumper? YEAH THAT'S KNOCKOUT! "Did you know I am a hired model? My body is so beautiful, a master of sculpting is using it for their art projects~" He will say it every where. Starscream being annoying? Knockout brags about being a model. Arachnid being a threatening meanie? Knockout will say you were useful for showing off his sexy body in sculptures. Megatron mad at him for having an unsuccessful mission? "Well big M, at least today I am going to outshine everyone on this ship by getting a sculpture version of me." He is weirdly supportive of it…in his own way. Knockout would cherish everything you do and even help buy you better supplies to help you improve. Everyday he would see you working on one and you would just feel a little kiss on your head to feel his loving energy.

Ratchet

"What in the Allspark are you doing? I am not someone for you to just make a replica of!" Yeah Ratchet is very much flustered about the whole thing. You making a figurine of his alt mode was adorable though, seeing a miniature him was so embarrassing. What you secretly don't know is that he put the figures up on the desk he has so he can appreciate your crafts while working. Does he wish you would just stop? Yes. Is he going to tell you? No! He would never tell you to stop doing things you like, just please stop making sculptures of him. He would try to nit pick the figurine to make you think you didn't do good and that would make you not sculpt him anymore, but when he saw how upset you got, thinking you made him look ugly…yeah he broke. Now he just blushes and says it looks good whenever you show him your finished product. Not a warm and fuzzy kind of guy, but he would secretly buy you more materials online so you could continue your dreams and passions. He understands the feeling of being good at your job, and doesn't want to ruin that for you. If he heard someone talk crap about your projects, Ratchet might get suspended for medical malpractice later.

Megatron

OF COURSE THIS EGOTISTICAL WARLORD LIKES IT! He would put the damn thing next to his throne to look at it from time to time. "Make me another or I will use you for target practice!" Anyone who says you are bad at making figurines will DIE. Don't question the decapitated body in the corner, please don't even mention it. He would title you are an architect on his ship and give you a respectable salary if you keep making him stuff. It doesn't even have to be sculptures of him. Make him a model of the ship and he would use it as a 3d blueprint whenever he wants to upgrade something on the ship. "And you see here, this is where I want the new engines to be placed." Starscream thinks this shit is stupid. Will he ever tell Megatron? FRAG NO! You are now the lord's favorite and nothing will change that. He would sit you on the arm of his throne and pet you on the top of your head. You will never leave, you will never switch sides, and you will never be killed. Oh and his threats are fake, that man secretly loves you and would never lay a finger on you. He would send a figure to Optimus as a "look at what my soldiers do for me" type shit. Bro, you could tell him that someone ruined your project and he would literally walk around the ship with you on his shoulder, asking you to point out who. Even if it was Airachnid, nah, bye Airachnid! He would not care who it was, do not ruin his pet's MASTERPIECE!

[gublernatural]

for pop star!reader, bringing him to the grammys perchance? i think it would be silly <3

i love this so im skipping ahead to post-situationship into full blown relationship stage with them <3 my fave duo (also reader is def inspired by my girl t swizzle at award shows and im not sorry about it.)

"you're sure?" you asked one more time, just before the car doors were to open. spencer, whose face was almost as red as the dress you were wearing, sent you an eager nod.

he was torn; stuck between being excited to be by your side, but terrified to be in such a public space. there were days where he was still in awe that he has been able to meet, fall in love with, and now date such a strong, hard-working lady, but days like today he is reminded how much the whole world has come to love his lover.

"then, let's go," you smiled at him, ushering him to step out of the car. he obliged, then reached his hand towards you, helping you out. "thank you," you smiled at him, quickly, and then guided him to the building’s entrance. you waved at your supporters as you walked, still marveling at the impact you’ve been able to make.

you two ended up being split, spencer dragged away to your designated table and you to the red carpet. you took photos and completed interviews as quickly as you could without being impolite. you couldn’t help but feel like you were longing to be back with spencer. despite all of the fun you were able to have, everything just felt better when he was around.

“there you are,” you smiled as you finally made your way to your seat. “how was the carpet?” he asked, sliding your chair out for you. you shrugged in response, turning your attention to the first performer to take the stage.

spencer spent most of the show watching you with starstruck eyes. it was evident, even to those watching from home, how deeply in love spencer truly was with you. there was a literal sparkle in eye as you danced along to each performer, completely and totally enjoying yourself. this was the happiest you'd been in a while. you felt pretty, were at a celebration, and had your favorite person in the world by your side. spencer being in a fancy suit that matched your dress and having his hair professionally done had nothing to do with it, of course.

"this was is yours, right?" spencer whispered into your ear as his arm slipped around your waist. he held you close in anticipation as they introduced your category: best new artist.

this was the biggest moment of your career thus far. sure, awards weren't everything to you, but being recognized for the work you'd put out in somewhere as important as the grammy's would feel so good. you nodded, anxiously, trying to use spencer's proximity to ground you. you hoped the camera that cut to you while you were being named amongst your competitors could see the nerves that were coursing through your veins.

"and the winner is," victoria monet, last year's winner, announced. the world around you turn to static as your name was called into the mic. spencer was up before you were, cheering. tears welled in your eyes, overcome with pride and gratefulness. you hugged spencer and your producer, before heading up to the stage.

"um," you hesitated into the mic after hugging victoria, "i did not think i was going to win this," you laughed. the crowd laughed as well. beyonce was laughing at you. taylor swift was laughing at you. spencer reid was laughing at you. this was the best moment of your life.

"everyone in this category is so amazing and i wish we could split this award eight different ways. thank you to anyone and everyone who has listened to my music and supported me so far. i would not be here if it weren't for you." the first tear slipped from your face and you quickly brought your empty tear up to wipe it.

"thank you to everyone who inspired me and my music, and anyone who laid a hand in creating it with me. my mind is so blank and i can't remember all of your names," everyone laughed again. "and thank you to those i love," your eyes slipped to your table in the crowd. the camera cut to spencer, who had the biggest smile on his face anyone had ever seen. "i wouldn't be here without you guys. thank you and i cannot wait to make more music for you." you ended with a gracious wave to the crowd and cameras, before dashing back to your table.

you threw yourself in spencer's arms again. his cheek smushed against your shoulder as he mumbled, "i'm so proud of you!" you didn't answer, but he felt your smile get impossibly wider against him. after your brief moment of affection, you settled back into his side, excited to see sabrina carpenter's performance.

[xiepheer]

HIHIII i loved your truth and deceit fic :33

could i pretty please request a shadow milk x clumsy reader :3?

The Master of Deceit and his clumsy one!

Shadow Milk cookie x Clumsy reader

Hey guys! Hope yall like this! Also feel free to ask requests! Any cookies I will do! Thank you so much for the support everyone!

First off, he doesn't expect his dearest lover to be clumsy!

So whenever you're in his dimensions, he would watch over you just incase you tripped and fall into an endless void.

Now having you clumsy is what he likes. He likes to protect you.

He would act like the hero when you almost fall in a void or endless river.

When you were hurt while you tripped, he would be desperate to help you and get you up.

"Pookie are you okay? Are you hurt? I'll bring help!" He says,desperate to help you.

He breathed a sigh of relief when you confirmed that you were fine and not hurt.

Now he would use you sometimes for his shows where you have to do carnival tricks and when you fall (which is definitely on the script), he saves you so the crowd applauds.

And of course he doesn't only use you, he loves you. He would depend on your answer if he asks if you want to be in the show.

Now since he deeply cares about you, he brings you everywhere with him.

No matter the situation, he knew he would be desperate without you if you hurt yourself in the process of being clumsy.

He would ask Black Sapphire Cookie to watch over you whenever he couldn't because Black Sapphire Cookie is who he really trusts you to be with.

He does trust Candy Apple cookie but he knows that she's gonna do something to you.

When he got sealed in the tree, he could only hope that Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple cookie is taking care of you.

Now they do take care of you.

Candy Apple cookie just can't accept the fact that he cares about someone clumsy and fragile than her.

Now Black Sapphire Cookie would shake her jealous thoughts away, telling her to accept their fate or surely they will pay.

"Eugh!! What does Master Shadow Milk cookie see in that clumsy fragile cookie!" She huffed. "I did everything for Master Shadow Milk cookie but all he does is ignore me! I even put my best syrups on!"

She basically threw a tantrum on Black Sapphire Cookie while you were somewhere in the sphire. Hoping not to be clumsy and fall again.

"Cut it out! Master Shadow Milk cookie clearly cares for that cookie so accept it!" He said to her.

"And we can't do anything about it!" He said to her.

Now she DID eventually accept it but also feels jealousy time to time.

When Shadow Milk cookie gets realesed from the tree, the first thing he searches is You.

When he found you, he checks you up in case you have any physical bruises or scars.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he checked and you weren't hurt.

And now he brings you all the time, everywhere.

He brings you with him and make you watch him cause destruction.

Now you can't do anything about that. You know he's just ensuring your safety.

Now the reason why he brings you with him was because you are clumsy. Constantly after walking a bit, you would trip.

He would catch you of course and play as the prince in your "Save me!" Princess role.

He would ensure your clumsy butt doesn't get in trouble and would ensure that you're safe.

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry if this isn't for your liking, feel free to tell me which part you didn't like!

Also I encourage everyone to ask for requests! All cookies are involved!

🫶🫶

[the-lazyyy-artist]

Ok so this is my first time ever doing an ask so if I’m doing this wrong PLEASE tell me. Anyways I wanted to ask for some Oliver Aiku angst. Specifically where we’re married and he’s been cheating but he’s done a weirdly good job at hiding it. But then we find out and leave him. And if you could PLEASE make it in Oliver’s POV for extra male groveling. Now again this is my first time doing an ask so if I come off as demanding or just not detailed enough please forgive me. 🤕😭🫶🏼🤕

moral of the story oliver aiku x gn!reader

Synopsis: Oliver Aiku had everything: fame, the best career, and the love of his life... but sometimes, the snake slithers into the garden of Eden to poison everything.

Tags and Themes: angst, cheating, divorce, established relationship, marriage, people asking stupid questions, aiku's human condition biting him in the ass, ooc lmao, ubers team mentioned eheh

Author's notes: Hello, sweetpea! Oh, this took me a while to write, and you're my first ever request for a drabble! haha! Thank you so much for dropping this request! I wrote it as well as I could. I drew inspiration from stories I heard from that one Reddit story that Smosh read. I forgot which episode, but I will link it here if I find it again. I hope you love it! Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated!

photo grabbed from Pinterest (owner unknown; will search for it and add it here)

Want more stories? Check out the Blue Lock Masterlist!

On nights, he would stay up and wonder where he went wrong.

He knew he had gotten something wrong; he wasn't stupid, but the turn of events was something he couldn't control, or at least that's what he told himself to comfort him. The dissatisfaction, the cheating, the decision.

He lost everything that he once had.

If we go back to 2 years ago, Oliver Aiku was on the top of the world. Everyone loved him, everyone adored him. He was at the peak of his career at the ripe age of 27, one of Japan's most treasured players as he played for Italy. He was every kid's dream player and every teenager's role model in sports. And most of all, he had you, the best partner he could ever have; you were the one who knew him best since childhood until now and the best support he could ever have had. In every interview he had, he would honor you, telling the world that you're his lucky charm.

He had his dream life.

He had all the best in the world.

In your two years of marriage, he lived for the moment in the privacy of your shared home more than the spotlight on him all the time. Mornings were sweet as he would hold you in his arms, whispering "good morning" in your ear. As sweet love was shared between the safety of your sheets, he knew so well that this was his heaven, having you by his side. The routine of your quiet and comfortable days was something he held close to his heart because he knew how much you cared for him every day, and he gladly reciprocated that. It was all so surreal.

You were so surreal.

But sometimes, the devil slithers silently into the garden without anyone noticing, and for Aiku, it was the playful banters he had with his teammates.

"Don't you ever find it boring?" Lorenzo asked as they all gathered back into the locker room after a productive day of practice. That question alone got everyone's attention.

"Find what boring?" Barou chimed in, his gruff voice echoing in the room. Lorenzo cocked his head towards Aiku as he replied, "I was asking Mr. Lavender Haze here. I wanna know if marriage ever gets boring." Barou scoffs, shaking his head at his teammate. "You wouldn't understand that because all you ever care about is money."

"True, but that's because money can't hurt me," Lorenzo snickered. He slung an arm around Aiku, leaning all his weight on the defender. "Aiku has given up being a player for his partner. That's something I never expected him to do. He'd always disappear every time we're out drinking."

"There are things that needed to be sacrificed for love, Lorenzo," Aiku said, removing Lorenzo's arm around his shoulders. "You'd understand once you fall in love."

"But does it get boring?" Niko asked. The youngest of the team was never one to ask or peep when they talk about relationships, but this conversation must have piqued his interest. "Two years of marriage with the same person and all you do is now a routine. Surely, you'd return to your natural self, your human tendency of being a player."

"Niko, that's why sacrifices are made. I wouldn't have married them if I didn't truly love them. Besides, I know what I was doing before was destructive and inappropriate. I changed for them, and I couldn't be happier."

Niko hummed in response and continued whatever he was doing. But for Aiku, the questions stayed in his mind for quite a while. Does it ever get boring?

That's why he'd break up his past relationships before; 3 months of being together turn dull for him. He needed excitement, a challenge. He needed the thrill of chasing and pursuing. He lived for that high. But you..

You offered contentment, satisfaction, safety, and security. Something he never felt before because he tended to cheat and lily pad. He never wanted to settle down until you came back into his life and accepted him for who he was, loved him despite his past, and cared for him more than he ever cared for himself. You were the epitome of perfection in his eyes.

It was then he realized he still wanted it.

He wanted to get high on that feeling again.

It started small. Drinks with the team would turn into them entertaining fangirls at the bar. It wasn't new that Aiku would get the attention. Girls loved how he looked: his heterochromic eyes and how he carried himself. He'd tell them he was married at first, but with the need for thrill, he eventually gave in and chatted with one of the girls.

He didn't push her away when her hand started to wander on his thighs.

He didn't pull away when her lips got too close to his.

Eventually, his thoughts turned into fruition. The devil made him bite into the apple that wasn't supposed to be eaten, but whatever.

One make-out session turned into secret texts and calls. He was so good at being so discreet, making him feel nostalgic. His excuses weren't so obvious that you'd start suspecting him of anything. Rendezvous were hidden under the guise of extra training time due to an upcoming match, and calls were excused as ones from his manager about "interviews". He was careful, but could not hide the fact that it was...

It was everything he wanted, and he wanted more. More of the thrill, more of her, while still in the safety of your love and marriage.

How could you be so blind, he asked himself. How could his lovely partner be so trusting of him? How could you still smile and kiss him without knowing he was betraying you?

How could he imagine a life without you?

Months passed, and he knew he was in too deep. He started prioritizing the "practices" and "calls from the manager" over the time he should spend with you. It annoyed you, but you knew that's one of the things you were made aware of when you married the football star. His career comes first; the sports community will always have his attention first.

The calls kept coming, and one day, you answered one on his phone.

It wasn't the voice of his manager.

You were quick to pack up and leave despite his pleas, telling you he was sorry, that it was a mistake, that it wasn't supposed to happen.

"I told you, Aiku. When you proposed to marry me, I told you one mistake, I'll leave. I trusted you with all of my life, Aiku. I accepted you and saw how you changed for our marriage, and yet you betrayed me."

He couldn't bring himself to look you in the eye after that.

He couldn't bring himself to wake up every morning, your absence making it all heavier. You weren't coming back soon, and he messed up. He lost you. He lost the life he knew he wanted. He lost the love he never deserved in the first place, yet you gave it to him wholeheartedly. You gave him a chance, and he failed.

The divorce papers arriving at his doorstep made it all worse.

He didn't want to sign it. He stared at it for too long, for days... for weeks... until your lawyer had to ring him up for the deadline.

He hated himself. For the first time, he hated every fiber of his being.

Every court meeting is like seeing the light because he gets to see you, his perfect angel. The only love he's ever known. But you would never meet his eyes. Always looking away, always so distant. He did this, he caused this. He lost the only love he ever knew.

After two whole years and several court hearings, your divorce was finalized. And for the first time in a long time, Aiku finally caught a glimpse of your eyes, the closest thing he could get to feeling your love once again, yet the words that came out of your mouth crushed him.

"I hope you realize that I will be the only one who will truly love you for you and not for your money and fame."

Aiku wasn't a crier. He never was, but he found himself breaking down at your words and how real this finally felt. He truly lost you. You were no longer his, and he's just a shell of a broken man.

He'll be haunted by the ghost of you, forever...

[lostinlovingrevery]

UGHHHHH logan knowing how you get with his big sexy arms so he uses them against you in the best ways possible

Nonny, you're a genius

I've ALWAYS admired his arms, but Logan overwhelms me in the best ways so I forget to focus!

I'm planning to writing a fic on this but i'm gonna write a few things down here too bc mmrph. arms. theres some smut below the cut

The moment logan realizes youre practically drooling over them beefy muscles of his

boy oh boy hes taking advantage of that

He be flexing around you every chance he gets

Starts purposely wearing tanks, or shirts so tight they would rip if he flexes one more time

He'll position himself in ways that make his muscles bulge, or makes his arms just look really good and really distracting

work on in places you'll walk in on him, like your shared bedroom, hes sitting and doing reps randomly. you can't even chatise him over it cause you're watching the veins bulge with every lift of those 50 pound weights he's using.

if you're arguing, he's going to pull out the big guns. literally. bc it gets you distracted and dumb

and he'll take that chance to fuck it out of you and by then you can't even remember what you were arguing about

PUTTING YOU IN A HEADLOCK

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Someone wrote a fic about logan fucking you in a headlock and im just iefhwjbrbgerbg over it. it was so good. I need to find it and read it again.

He'll tease you about it

"Becoming putty over my arms bub? like em that much dont ya?"

he'll make you ride them

you read that right

laying in bed, arm stretched out with you grinding over it, he bends the elbow so his hand supports your lower back.

he likes it to bc it gives him the perfect view of your pussy soaking his arm and the sheets

look at the veins

gonna lick them

gonna bite em

get over here big boy MOMMAS HUNGRY

sexy stuff aside

those would be the safest arms ever

his arms around your shoulder, your waist. hooked around your thighs...

just being wrapped up in those bad boys...man. Id never want to leave

his big ole biceps and muscular man titties blocking your view of the world. just him.

yeah, im gonna need him now. thanks.

[chocochiffonnn]

Love Box

➸ Pairing: Nishimura Riki x Student! Reader (ft.Jungwon of Enhypen)

➸ Word Count: 21k. (removed some parts)

➸ Synopsis: The Love Box was a sacred treasure to the students of Decelis Academy where students pour their heart to people they admire anonymously. One of your responsibilities as the Radio Club president was to read the letters from the miraculous box. You previously hoped to have the ideal high school romance, as you were one of the victims of the aforementioned Love Box. Things don't work out as planned, though, and you find yourself in a romantic turmoil again when the recipient of your letter returns from their abrupt absence. 

➸ Themes: Higschool lovers to strangers, to lovers again. Fic is set in Japan (though Enhypen members are included and have Korean names lol), heavily inspired from the anime Ao Haru ride, and that one romance J-drama I saw a few years back, and another fanfic of Riki that I got inspired from.

➸ Warnings: Reader gives in quite often, Riki is very much a tease but a shy boy at the same time, a sliver of that love triangle, tooth-rotting fluff, a lot of cursing, it has that field trip and jealousy trope thats so typical lol.

➸ Author's Note: its finally here! thank you so much guys for waiting and supporting my first ever full on fic! i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!! its such a cute romance story!

➸ Taglist: @rikidaze @yangjungwonnie @iboughtnjz @murazbae @shi-toshi @tasnemluvs @btsreadss @katslv0nyu @wondash @honey-bunnysweet @opheliaas-stuff @sadgirlluvsmoney @saeeeee5 @sol3chu @firstclassjaylee @anushkaaaiaiiaiaia @jisel8 (i cant seem to find this user?? im sorry!!)

THE START OF APRIL SYMBOLIZED NEW BEGINNINGS—Something new, something marking the cherry blossoms that effortlessly tumble across your hometown's pavement. Spring, as though you'd call it. And in a country like Japan, evidently, such a season is highly acknowledged

Which, ultimately, led to the idea of dreading school.

During summer break, refusing to go home was in every teenager's nature.

During school, however, going home seemed like comfort more than it should be.

And so, the hustle and bustle of the city did not aid your restlessness, constantly fidgeting and tapping your foot against the concrete's sidewalk as you wait for the red light to turn green.

Once it does, you strap your bag just a tad bid closer and begin to walk.

Dreading school has rarely ran through your mind. Rather, you found it enjoyable, memorable, even. However, whenever it does, the cause of such is because of one thing only— your school's club.

Taking the role and responsibility of being an officer in your school's Radio Club does wonders. Your tasks were simple: aid the Journalism club and announce the daily announcements to the whole facility. The latter, included playing music recommendations from students via CDs that they'd send, and most of all, reading random love confessions from the club's confession box.

It was a sporadic idea that started a couple of years back, by the previous president of the club. The reason being was the Radio Club's diminishing presence. With but a few members, and on the verge of of, "extinction" by the school, the club had to do something.

Which led to the confession box— the Love Box. The tactic had been effective, as during your freshman year, you went as far as tiptoeing to the club's room, slotting your heart-filled letter to the confession box to— someone unbeknownst to you now— and scurrying like you'd committed the biggest crime.

Something differed now, though.

And then, something inspired you to join the club the following year. It had already garnered a couple of members prior to you joining, but eventually, with your perhaps unknowing charm and slight knowledge in radio broadcasting (given your interest in them), you were soon given the position of vice president during your junior year.

You step into the asphalt building of your high school, it's gate accumulating a ridiculous amount of baby pink blossoms— one cascaded down your fingertips. You touch it gently. Something's different, because now, by all technicality, you are the president of the Radio club.

Which meant twice the responsibility, and twice the stress from wholeheartedly reading the letters from the Love Box.

As the president of the club, and taking it upon yourself to announce for the first day of school you arrived a couple of minutes earlier to prepare and rehearse the script at hand.

You made your way into the facility, to the room you've come to frequent during your free time. With the key— having been given to you by the previous president— you haphazardly and excitedly open the door.

It had been a little over two months since you'd step foot here, yet it feels indifferent as ever. You settled your bag somewhere, nearing the radio system, preparing, checking the sound, and testing it to ensure a smooth flow.

Then you go over your script, a couple of minutes pass.

fom behind the door, you hear the aimless chatter of the students. How their summer had progressed, little escapades and adventures, various topics that you could fathom.

Then, you tap the mic and finally spoke,

"The song for today is titled Cherry Blossom by Dept and Ashley Alisha."

Oh, I feel spring is coming And if you could be mine for the season I could show you why you need me, baby

"Happy first day of school, students of Decelis Academy! We're kicking it off with an upbeat song."

So if you're feeling lonely, dear Then throw away all other reasons You can blossom like the trees do, baby

"How is everyone's summer break? The Radio club wishes it was prosperous and enjoyable to everyone."

No, don't you know, like the flowers grow You can grow to have commitment, baby

"Now, we turn to a new page and chapter in our academic life. Leave the troubles and problems behind, and face today with a smile."

So trust me only if you're really okay to give me your love This might never come back again

"The assembly will begin in ten minutes, all students please proceed to the gymnasium."

And when the flowers bloom I hope that we can, too

" Let's all make this year a good one, everyone!"

And we'll blossom in love Cherry blossoms and us

"I seriously cannot believe you right now!"

"Hey— Ow! Stop I said I was being serious!"

When school rolls around, it is practically inevitable for random bruises to appear in your arm.

"I missed you too, Rei." You wince in pain, rubbing your arm. Following your radio announcement, the assembly, and the students settling down their perspective seats, you find yourself, well... In the very same classroom and section as your best friend, Rei.

Short and stubborn, an individual who has terrible eyesight but great knack in discriminating others— Rei was the perfect salt to your sugar, Clyde to your Bonny, hate to your love— she was anything and everything alike; your complete opposite.

If you do so much as take a liking to someone, her immediate response would be— he's short, he's weird, he's rowdy, why are his grades low?

And it didn't matter, for whenever you do end up taking an infatuation to someone, say that senior the previous year, who was practically the epitome of perfect, Rei would have nothing to say. So, in short, her radar is never cut short. She's strict, but protective in a way. And when she finds out no flaws, she's all ears and no mouth. She was practically like the little eyes to your blind body.

"As if!" Rei scoffs, she's stubborn, too. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you got a cat. I could've come over and we could have cuddled!"

You rolled your eyes, "As if, you'd pretend I didn't even exist and all you'd care about is the cat!" Rei snickers, "Totally."

You laugh, looking at the window. Despite the totally overbearing pressure on your shoulders as a senior, on the bright side, your classroom was located at the third floor. And by some random luck, your seat was right beside the window, making it easy for you to feel the breeze and comfort of the air.

Perhaps with such a view, you'd think way less of your future, your college, the career you aren't even sure of pursuing, your life and—

"You have to stop with that look." Rei cuts off with a scoff, "What look?" you practically shot back.

"Like the world is practically against you, like you're in a war or something." You look over her direction, she rolls her eyes, "Come on, let's go get something to eat to distract you."

And as always, somehow, she was always just aware of whatever the hell runs through your mind.

Melon bread, a milk bread, and a carton of banana milk were all you took from the school cafeteria. You and Rei head over to pay for your food when your eyes suddenly scan over a piece of fish shaped bread; bunggeopang. What once used to be your favorite— now, it had only reminded you a bit of something— an empty, hollow, hole. Once, it was filled to the brim with stars and colors.

You shoved the incredulous thoughts away. You're crazy. You immediately thought. Pondering over something that once lingered in the past. It was stupid, it was ridiculous, it was—

"It was him, I really swear it was!"

"Are you sure? You're probably just hallucinating."

"No, he's like, back or something, I heard."

A student abruptly bumps into you, causing you to stumble and lose your footing. Luckily, Rei grabs hold of your arm and stabilizes you, "You good?" She asks, turning her heel to curse at the said students, but you stop and reassure her otherwise.

"I'm good, it was no big deal." You laugh, brushing it off. Rei rolls her eyes, "I swear, students don't know how to watch where they're going these days." She says. You only laugh, paying for your snacks over the counter, "They really don't."

You leave the cafeteria, walking with Rei side by side. Not far away from it, you hear an assembly of boisterous screams and squeals on the way to your classroom. It hadn't perked of much importance, until a student who'd absent-mindedly walked beside you with a friend spoke,

"Who's back?"

"I heard Nishimura Riki's back."

You try your hardest not to puke, you really do. But the name that lolls of the tongue of the person has your mind running and circles, your stomach doing flips, and your mind tumbling in a jumble.

Who, exactly, was back?

"Nishimura Riki's back?!"

It was as if they could hear you.

You felt your soul parting from your physical body, it's remnants floating in the air to be taken for the gods as they laughed below, at your horrendous, terrified, alarmed face.

It was laughable, really. How you remained frozen, still, unnerved. It was impossible to move your feet, they weren't budging. The food you carried had felt twice its size— you really could not move.

"Hey, hey, are you okay? Why're you just—"

"Rei, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Rei was confused. But before she could do so much as to get a word out, you drag her arm across the hallway and lead her towards the other end with hurried steps.

"Hey— what are you doing! Our classroom's—"

And you lead her to somewhere a little more desert where the squeals and screams were still in line with your ears, but not enough to garner attention. You spoke, "I heard from them that Nishimura Riki is back."

"He's— What?!"

You nod, repeatedly. Twisting, turning, shaking your whole entire existence. "I just felt my body freeze up there, oh my gosh."

"What do you mean, he's back?" Rei repeats and you confirm her question. Nishimura Riki is back.

The Nishimura Riki— the person you dedicated your letter inside that Love Box during your freshman year.

Nishimura Riki— the person who was a friend, but more than a friend.

Nishimura Riki— the person who was less than a boyfriend.

That was, until he left to god knows where without a trace.

And now, he's suddenly back?

"Oh, the nerve he has to—"

"Don't." You interject. Rei's reaction was exactly what you'd imagine, and as much as it poses as a problem in your already anxious brain, you didn't want to make the problem bigger than it ought to be.

"It's... Fine." You say to Rei with a weak smile. It wasn't.

"Is it really, though? That bastard left without a trace, not even a single clue! And he has the nerve to come back."

You feel Rei's anger bubble up, though you couldn't fight back. You felt the exact same, a burning sensation coiling in the pits of your stomach. In the back of your mind, ran a million questions.

What is he doing back here?

Why did he leave with no so much as a trace?

What could he be doing that led him to disappear like a ghost?

Most importantly— how was he doing?

You hated yourself for even thinking of the latter part, yet much was true. As much as you ached to slap him in his face due to anger, part of you couldn't help but think how he's doing now. Is he doing good? Eating good? Taking care of himself?

But you keep it as a thought, partly because you know Rei would kill you if you do so much as voice it out, and also because why would you dare say something like that to the man who broke your heart?

"I know, but I've let it go, I promise." You muster up another smile. You haven't.

Rei looks at you, and despite already knowing the answer, she lets it go. "Are you sure?"

You nod, and she intertwines her arms with yours, "Don't worry, I won't let him get to you, I really swear."

Good, because if she doesn't, you feared you might be the one to come to him instead.

"Yeah, thank you."

Arm in arm you began to resurface and walk with Rei towards your classroom. The squealing had died down a bit, indicating that perhaps his obnoxiously still present fan base had gone off.

You heaved a sigh of relief, and headed towards your classroom, you could only hope you wouldn't bump into him. For today, tomorrow, and the rest of the year as well.

The bell finally rings, the teacher having had enough of their lecture.

It was lunch time now.

Today was like any other, despite it being the first day of school. Rei would go and eat with her club members, as you would head to the Radio club room and read some anonymous confessions placed inside the Love Box. It was a specific highlight of your day.

Some of the letters would contain random confession you had an inkling idea on who the writer would be, some would contain little notes for advice and you'd wholeheartedly offer it.

You liked to consider yourself a pretty good consultant when it came to relationships.

Of course, when it came to yours— that was a different question, and a different point altogether.

You make your way towards the room after waving a short goodbye to your friend, immediately putting the box inside and unlocking it with your magical keys.

As it had been the first day of school, you half-expected a bundle of letters to come pouring out. It was usually like this, a sudden burst of love confessions once the first day of school began, receding to occasional ones as the weeks pass by.

You were right, though, as your fingertips come into contact with one of the letters in a soft baby pink envelope, its color closely resembling cherry blossoms. A stupid, lovesick grin makes its way into your features. There were a couple more, some just plain white envelopes, some embedded with kiss marks and cute designs that you couldn't help but coo.

Over the course of lunch, you'd read over these letters, sometimes going through half, sometimes accomplishing the tasks of finishing them.

However, with today's bunch, it seems it would take you until tomorrow. You really had to call a meeting with your members for a rotation for the readings of these letters.

You make your way towards the radio system, setting it up once more and preparing the baby pink letter, its contents, delicate and fragile against your fingertips.

"Good afternoon, this is the Radio Club, we've finally arrived for the most awaited part of the day."

You smile,

"But first, let's play a song that was requested to me by a student."

You grab the CD, tuning it in and playing the song.

"Everything Has Changed but Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran."

As you read, you lower down the volume.

All I knew This morning when I woke Is I know something now Know something now I didn't before

"To the person I really love the most,"

And all I've seen Since eighteen hours ago Is green eyes and freckles and your smile In the back of my mind making me feel like

"It's a little bit stupid not admitting my feelings out loud and putting up a facade in order to confess, but this was the best I could muster, really."

I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you

"But we've been avoiding like crazy each other these past few days, what could I possibly do? I'm scared of your response, scared of what you'll say to me. I've never felt anything like this before."

Cause all I know is we said, "Hello" And your eyes look like comin' home All I know is a simple name And everything has changed

"We aren't like this before, it's driving me insane, you know? I hinted all of a sudden that I liked you, and then you're in complete avoidance right after! It's scary..."

All I know is you held the door You'll be mine and I'll be yours All I know since yesterday

"Falling in love is scary... I do know of one thing though— I really like you, so, so, so much. I hope... This letter reaches you well, somehow."

Is everything has changed

You read a few more letters, playing along some of the recommended and handed CDs to you by your peers and schoolmates, ultimately reading enough as the bell rang once more and you had to wrap up and broadcast your final announcements.

You fixed your stuff, engulfing your thoughts in the letter you'd just read, feeling a familiar pit bubble up. The person the writer reached out to was in complete avoidance, in denial of their feelings. What a shame. You thought. You hoped, though, they are able to solve that problem sooner or later.

Lack of communication is hell, even worse than breaking up itself. You have no closure, have nothing at all. A sudden knock came upon your door, assuming it had been Rei, you mumble a short ‘come in.’ You hear the door creak, your back faced the person as you continued arranging your things,

"I'm almost done with this!"

"Hey, the teacher's looking for you."

A deep voice chimed in, one that’ defintely did not belong to Rei.

Rei's voice isn't that deep, that low, and raspy either. What? Has she caught a cold or something?

You turn around, only to be proven wrong. And then, the sudden urge to barf and flee returned within an instant.

Indeed, what was in front of you right now was not Rei.

It was Nishimura Riki, in the flesh.

"Ah... I see..." You mumble more so to yourself, panic rushing all over your body as you hurriedly put your notebooks in your bag. One came falling down, the rest following suit. You curse beneath your breath, kneeling down and picking it up.

You hadn't felt him come near, only taking sensation of it once of his hands aided you in grabbing the notebook, fingertips brushing against yours. A short electric jolt was sent through your spine, from your vision, all you could see were his veiny and long hands, stacking your notebooks and handing them to you.

Nothing else, not even his arms, his head, his eyes, nothing.

"Do you always bring this much stuff?" He chuckles. It was the first time you hear him chuckle in a year. The mysterious feeling appeared, the urge to puke having been long gone. Yet you don't answer, your own mouth betraying you and lacking to give some sort of answer.

Instead, you fixate yourself on your bag.

"Thank you." Was all you mumble, standing up once you were done and Riki follows suit. Finally, you gained the courage to take a peek at his features.

Not much has changed, really.

Except... His voice was way deeper, he was way taller, features more sharper than before.

Gosh. Is it really possible to change this much in just a year?

Perhaps it was just you thinking of such. After all, you have Riki memorized like the back of your hand. It didn't matter where he was, in a large and rollicking crowd, you'd be able to tell him apart.

Now, you weren't so sure.

A smug grin makes its way to his features. "You done staring?"

Well, he's still as cocky as ever, that feature of his remained.

You scoff, rolling your eyes, "As if." and brushing past him like air. You had to make him believe you were unfazed with his presence suddenly appearing with the snap of a finger. You had to make him think, "Oh, I wasn't such a big deal to her? That hurts."

As much as he was a bigger problem than anything else, you refused to back down.

After what he's done? Over your dead body.

"Why was she looking for me, by the way?"

You say, as your back faces Riki. You don't turn around, so you don't acknowledge the fact that he's already besides you, hands in his pocket, shrugging his shoulders. Stupid ass long legs.

"Something about me, I guess. Maybe she wants to reunite us?" The latter part of his sentence had a hint of mischief in it, but you were not having it. "That would be the president's job, not mine."

"And could you move out? I need to lock and close the doors."

"Woah, you've got a bit of a bite now, I like it." He laughs, following your instructions anyways and exiting the room.

“Anyways, thanks for that. You can go now, if you need to catch up on some things, please do so by approaching the class president.”

You walk away after locking the door, hurried and brief, fully intent on brushing him off. But Nishimura Riki stays grounded, walking alongside you, even having the nerve to place his unimaginably long hands atop your head and ruffling your hair.

It’s what he’s always done before, a habit of his which was dangerous. It didn’t help that there were students around, gaining you some questionable looks. “Stop that.”

“The teacher told me to bring you along. Not call you.”

Great. As if this was making the circumstance any better.

“I see, fantastic.” Sarcastic.

Riki pretended to feign hurt, teasingly poking his heart with a finger, “Ouch. I missed you too.”

“And I—“ you look at him straight in the eye, and he does the same. You frown, “Don’t. So stop acting so chummy with me.”

Behind Riki’s playful words, his eyes painted itself with something like… Hurt. But you must’ve been mistaken, because a second after, he was teasing you again. “You’re reaalllyyyy stubborn now. It’s cute.”

“Stop.” You say, distancing yourself from him just a bit as you make your way towards the teacher’s office. Riki doesn’t pry any further, opting to give you a playful laugh as he inserts his hands in his school pants.

God, if you hear him laugh again, you would go insane. As in— I miss your laugh, I wanna kiss you type of insane.

Which is not even good.

The two of you finally reached the office, knocking gentle and entering after hearing a come in from your teacher. Contrary to what you had been hoping, Niki was right. The teacher truly believing that you had now reconnected like old pals (deeming it as a situation which you are aware Riki left) and ultimately, putting you up against a situation you know you would regret in the long run— to help him catch up with tasks and work.

Which, how did that even make sense?

It’s the first day of school! He quite literally has nothing to catch up on. According to your teacher, however, most of the subjects would base and stem from your previous subjects during your junior year, which of course would naturally make it hard for Riki to catch up. That’s where you come in, apparently. The task was simple: tutor Nishimura Riki until he gets his ass settled down.

What, did he not do school in whenever the hell he disappeared to?

He doesn’t even need to settle down, its his old school! He knows every nook and cranny.

“It’s just going to be beneficial for the three of us, you two are already close so it won’t be much of a hassle to navigate through and help Riki.”

“Not clo—“

“Thank you, Mrs Koichi-san.” Riki smugly grins at the teacher, “I’ll make sure to listen well to Y/N.” Then he looks at you, smiling faintly. Though from the back of your head, it felt sarcastic and forced.

“She’s a great mentor, after all.”

Mrs-Koichi smiled. “Thank you, Y/N. I expect nothing less of you.”

There it was again. The overbearing expectance of something. Of course, there had to be something. You offered her a tight-lipped smile back. You couldn’t refuse, you couldn’t dare to do so now.

“Sure, Mrs-Koichi. I’ll make sure to fill Riki in on the missing tasks.”

As forced as it may sound, it didn’t feel too bad in the back of your head.

Perhaps it was just the little voices screaming inside your head, the little demon and angel bearing upon your shoulders. This wasn’t good. But at the same time, this was what you’ve been waiting for the whole time. It didn’t feel too good, though.

Riki and you turn to leave the office after a short bow, the awkward silence hanging in the air. Maybe it was only you that felt that way. Riki breaks the silence, “So… When are you available?”

“What?”

“I said when are you available, I actually do need catching up.”

You see his sheepish gaze, the way he reluctantly scratches the nape of his neck with his hand.

“You’re actually serious?”

He looks at you like some sort if joke. “Why would I not be?”

“Well…”

You ponder, but opted close your mouth. Riki is not the type to care about such stuff. Though you said you’d fill the words of expectations of your teacher, regardless of what you do, you’ve always pegged and known him the type to just not care at all. Countless have you tried to get him to care a little bit more about his studies, given the fact that he was part of the basketball team and being a fragment of that team meant having somewhat considerable grades.

He did, but he only ever does so much. Bare minimum, per se. Enough to have his spot kept at the basketball team, and enough to earn him a scolding from his mother the moment she sees his grade.

So, this was rather a surprise to you. “Um… When do you want to start?”

He grins, a glint of surprise feigning his eyes, “Are you free later after class?”

You think about it. Rei wouldn’t be too pleased about the situation at hand, but you are only helping Riki with his grades. After this, everything will completely dissipate.

Right?

“Yeah, sure. At the library it is, then.” You nod towards him, Riki smiles softly, suddenly ruffling your hair once more. “See ‘ya then.”

Then before you could even do or say something, he was walking off like the most nonchalant person ever. Like he didn’t just make your stomach tumble in agony, like he didn’t just capture a thousand, million butterflies and stuffed them inside your mouth and mouth saying— It doesn’t matter it feels like you’re pushing me aside, I still got to you anyways! Hah!’

“You’re stupid.”

“I know.”

“Knowing doesn’t count, I have to drill that into you— youre oblivious and stupid.”

“I’m not oblivious! Just stupid and— ugh. You know what? I don’t see the point in defending myself.”

“Good, because you don’t have much of a fight anyways.”

Rei scolds you.

As she always does when you end up making some sort of stupid decision. And by all decisions and every decision ever— This was your stupidest one by far. It had dawn upon you, how ridiculous the situation really is. You couldn’t justify yourself, what is there to justify? Your lingering feelings?

“I’m just helping him, okay? The teacher wanted me to do it.”

“And? Why couldn’t Mrs-Koichi ask like, I don’t know, someone from his class, like— the class president. I know she must have a major crush on him or something.”

You remove your hands from your tangled hair, the words picking at you. “What?”

“You know? Naomi. She’s always the class president in whatever class she’s in.”

“She’s the class president?"

“I mean, there’s no technical election yet from what I heard but it’s practically obvious. It’s like, a tradition at this point.”

Kazu Naomi.

You had no particular beef or dispute with her, except for maybe the fact that she was too perfect for your liking. Always at the top of her class, prim and proper— she was as pristine as a diamond could possibly be. Teachers rarely reprimanded her, students coo at the mention of her name. She was as ideal as ideal could possibly be.

During your freshman year, she’d taken a particular liking to Nishimura Riki, unbeknownst to you. She hadn’t done so much as to voice it out, but girl to girl, you fervently felt it. Felt the way she scooted a tad bit closer to Riki whenever she talked to him, felt the way she scooped a strand of her hair behind her ear in an attempt to make it look cute, the way she delicately spoke like a fragile little flower in front of him, attempting the most obvious things to try and get his attention.

And you couldn’t blame her, because she always had the means to do so. She was pretty, kind, outgoing, and confident too. Someone who’d perfectly balance Nishimura Riki’s stoic, stern, and ridiculously cocky demeanour. But, well, life takes surprising terms at times and by the end of it, the thoughts of them together were but a lingering fantasy for majority of the students' mind. Wondering, why you out of Naomi? Wondering, what exactly made you different?

She only do so much as let her admiration linger.

And you feel this very moment right now that it still lingers. But it shouldn’t matter, it was really none of your business. It really shouldn't matter, you think to yourself as you scribble down the possibilities of the two getting together given they are in the same class. It really, really shouldn't matter.

"I hope you know you're stupid and you know what you're getting yourself into."

Last period, you had yourself in a little frenzy. Minutes had felt like hours, and once the clock had finally ticked and it was time to go, you bolted as fast as you possibly could and fixed your things.

Rei sensed your hurriedness, and in no particular attempt to try and stop you, she just sighs and ought to give a warning. Which, ultimately surprised you as you halted to look at her, "You're not pulling me away or something like that?"

As what she'd always do when a guy doesn't pass her radar.

She just shrugs, "I don't really want you miserable and coming to me after. Or, have you miserable because you were too much of a wuss."

You just snort, "I suppose it wouldn't help if I tell you that— no, I don't really know what in the world I'm getting myself into."

"I know that."

"How?"

"I just do. Now go and help that guy get his shit together."

You smile, and with the heels of your feet, the tight clasp of your hands against each other, and a loudly beating heart— you just ran.

"What subjects in particular do you need help with?" You scan a particular textbook, a couple of books splayed across the table in front of you.

Beside, was Nishimura Riki who mindlessly rolled his pen around his fingertips. It was 3PM, a couple of hours before the library closes. Tutoring him for perhaps a single subject would suffice, two if you were lucky.

Riki hums to ponder, then he speaks, "Chemistry. I suck at it."

You nod, "I checked the curriculum, if it's right, I suppose we'll be tackling Intermolecular forces first." Riki nods along as you skim through the contexts of the chemistry book and handout for your grade level. It was not a particularly hard topic but succeeding these would mean to a new topic filled with computation.

You know it was Riki's waterloo, so you proceeded to explain such concepts in the most basic manner. You sat beside him, pencil in hand as you wave your hands around in an attempt to discuss the topic at hand. From your peripheral vision, Riki listens.

Albeit slouching, laying his head atop his hand and his arm resting lazily on the table, Riki listens. Silent, unnerved... Just attentive. Attentive of the way you mumble 'hmm' every time you messed a word up, the way you furrow your brows when thinking, the way you click your pen around.

He doesn't listen to whatever the hell that Intermolecular force is— he listens to you.

Unmindful of his actions, Riki's hands come to lose being astray as his left makes its way towards a strand of your hair— your bangs. His fingertips unconsciously move a strand of hair away from your features, an occurrence that makes you halt and freeze.

Riki soon realizes that he's done because he pulls back the second after, choking on his own words as he apologizes. "There was... There was something in your face." He defends.

You nod slowly, feeling the tinge of heat creep up your cheeks. "I see." Were all the words you can muster.

"I swear it—" Riki pulls back, "Don't bark up another snarky response, please god, no."

A sudden chuckle leaves your mouth, "What? Are you afraid of it or something." it was a rhetorical question, one that he answers, "Yes."

You eye him seriously for a second, then you scoff, mumbling beneath your breath, "Serves you right."

Riki gasps exasperatedly, "What?"

"I said, serves you right." You repeat this time, with a bit more force and weight as you dared to look at him, Riki looks at you with, surprised, but intrigued. "Are you... Mad at me right now?"

"I'm not. Why would I be? I have no reason to be."

Riki just snorts, poking your cheek ever so gently, "Why're you acting like that then?"

"Like what?"

"Like your boyfriend just left you or something."

Does Riki even know? It did indeed feel like that. It had felt like a thousand crumbling worlds was lunged at you, Riki doesn't know that. It did indeed felt like you lost a boyfriend— hell, you weren't even in a relationship.

You stay silent, choosing not to respond as you choke back your tumbling words that threatened to escape. Riki must've sensed this, because the very next minute, he was apologizing again. "Ah— No, I didn't mean it that way. Hey, are you crying? I'm sorry. Shit— fuck, I'm sorry."

It seems there must be some things that you cannot choke back. One of this, was your bulging urge to break down. Tears unknowingly flow from your eyes, Riki panics and takes out his handkerchief, closing the distance between you and him. He holds your chin gently, tilting it upwards and dabbing away your tears delicately. His face remained concern, apologetic, and stained with worry.

But he doesn't let you go, doesn't trouble with the way you gush your whole entire pent up, builded tears. Instead, he scoots just a tad bit closer, letting go of his hold on your chin and rubbing your neck with his left hand. He feels warm and indifferent.

And when you finally stopped crying, sniffling away the remaining snobs, did you finally look at him.

"Sorry, forget that happened."

Riki shakes his head, "It's okay... It's my fault, really."

You nod, agreeing with what he'd just said. "Can I— Can I maybe explain this whole entire thing to you?"

"After a year of leaving me out the dark? I don't really think so."

Riki looks at you, soft and tender, "I swear I have a reason and I don't want to get you involved. It's difficult, it's just—"

"And you know whatever it was I'd understand that."

Riki pauses, then he nods, "I'm sorry it's just... Everything at home makes it difficult for me to explain."

"Is it..." You tread carefully, "Is it something about your father again?"

Riki hesitantly nods. "It is, and we had to move to cities because of him being an ass."

You understood that part, "What about the sudden disappearance?"

At this point, Riki had not really let you go, still clasping your neck with his left hand and the other somehow intertwining with your hands. He rubs it with his thumb as he speaks, "I wanted to forget everything here, I thought I could. But I couldn't, I really couldn't. Especially not this and... Not you."

Something about his words felt oddly comforting, despite the fact that his initial intention was to eradicate perhaps even the smallest, fleeting moments with you. But you couldn’t blame him, not when his eyes this very moment lacked the particular mischief he always carried.

He looked at you with such softness, and it didn’t help that you were looking at him with those eyes.

Riki groans, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. “What’s wrong?” You ask him.

“Stop looking at me like that.” He lets go of his grip on your neck, rubbing his eyes, “Looking at you like what?”

“Like that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“I might just kiss you if you don’t stop.”

His words made you choke, turning your head around to avoid his gaze. “What the heck are you talking about…”

Riki chuckles, still caressing your hand with his thumb, “Sorry, might have gone too far there.”

Flustered, you turn your head around to smack him in the chest. Riki allows you once, the second time, he grabs hold of your wrist and drives it towards his face. Unconsciously, you open your palms and allow him to place it beneath his cheeks.

His cheekbones, sharp and defined. Riki was no longer a silly little boy who was the very epitome of the devil itself. Aside from his very notable physical changes in his features, Riki felt… More relaxed, composed, and less rowdy. Despite the fact that he’s always kept to himself even now, something about him, though not significant to some, something about him really shifted.

You couldn’t deny the fact that he is attractive. That was a given, a fact that was not only shared by you, but also perhaps anyone who saw him at a first glance.

It was stupid, stupid really. How you let him linger his fingertips within your proximity, how you let him let his gaze last a little bit longer because you liked it too. You liked it when he stared at you like that and nobody else.

Was that too selfish?

Riki hums, nuzzling his head further into your warm palm and closing his eyes. He looks at you, grinning, “You good?”

But he knew you weren’t. You know you aren’t. You were gonna explode.

Riki laughs, pulling your hand back and kissing the back of it, “Mmm…”

“Riki…”

He hums.

“What are you thinking of right now?”

“Me?”

You nod. “You’re doing all this to me and yet— I still can’t read your mind. I don’t know what you’re thinking of, it’s driving me insane.”

Sighing, you pull your hands back away from his grip and let it settle upon your lap, fumbling with the hem if your uniform. Riki raises his brow, shoulders relaxing as he leans back on his chair.

The words that came out of his mouth felt like the easiest thing ever,

“You. I’m thinking of you.”

“The limit of this functions is that as X approaches to—”

God, you couldn’t focus. This was your limit. Not the whole entire maths thing the teacher was gnawing away at right now.

“But well, this function here can never approach X. It’s a little funny, right? Imagine it as a situation of wanting to reach something, but you couldn’t because there’s an obstacle of some sort. That right there is the asymptote, and—”

You’re the function. Riki’s the X.

“And this function here goes on and on and on. It’s infinite, it always comes back, per se.”

You’re definetely the function.

“Pst, hey—“

Someone pokes you from beside, pulling you out of your ridiculous trance. It was Rei. “You good?” She whispers, concern tainting her features.

After telling her everything that happened yesterday during your little study session with Riki, needless to say, Rei was beyond baffled. Not so at the fact that you poured your whole heart and soul in front of the man she’d willingly curse at, but more so at the fact that Riki, according to your description… Differed.

Of course, she was rather upset at you for breaking your walls down that easily in front of him, but nothing really ever happened except for some explaining from his side.

At least, that’s what you told her anyways.

The fact that he held your hand, your cheeks, pulled you a little bit closer to him— All you deemed insignificant for Rei’s knowledge. And, well, she could partly see why you’re so absent-minded right now, though, not really understanding the complete reason as to why.

“I’m fine.” You muster a small smile towards her, giving her a thumbs up.

“That’s it for the lesson today, make sure your notes are all arranged, including today’s lesson. I’ll be collecting them later.”

Oh shit. You looked down your notebook. You weren’t able to write anything at all, just scribbles of random stuff, mind too preoccupied with everything all at once. You internally groaned, grabbing Rei’s notebook out of the blue and copying her notes as fast as lightning.

“It’s a little bit early to be announcing this right now, but I thought it’ll benefit you all.”

You pay no attention, continuing to hammer down your notes.

“In honor of the school’s parting gift for the seniors, the graduating batch, staff, and teachers of Decelis Academy will have a little field trip the following week.”

With that, students beamed at the teacher’s sudden announcement. Your ears perked up at what you’d heard, looking at Rei with a short grin along your face. She smiled back, “Are you coming?”

“Of course I am!”

Despite it being a little too early for a field trip for your academy, you weren’t really one to complain. That meant having two trips all in the same year, which is not bad at all. It had been weird for your school to consider a trip so early, but well, early vacation it is, you suppose.

After being given more details about the trip at hand, and finally stuffing in Rei’s notes in your notebook, lunch finally rolled around once more. All mentions of your absent-mindedness having gone down the drain as the two of you talk about the trip,

“You think we’re going swimming or something?”

“Knowing the school? We’ll probably do some history museum or—“

“Boring!”

You laugh, sharing the same sentiment with Rei. After a few more words, you say goodbye to each other and headed towards your usual— the Radio club room. Last night, you’d call a small meeting before school had started with the rest of your members. Starting tomorrow, there will be a random rotation when it came to the announcements.

Today, however, was your task. You did as you would during your usual days, organizing, reading some particular letters from the Love Box, and playing random music recommendations from the students.

After an hour of doing so, you checked the time: around ten more minutes before lunch was over. Taking this as an opportunity to buy something from the cafeteria, you scurried to fix your things and headed out from the room. Maybe you’ll get some milk bread again today, or whatever the cafeteria had available.

However, upon reaching the cafeteria, you saw there was no more milk available which meant having to go and buy from the vending machine just outside. It was a bit of a hassle, but with the urge and determination to buy milk, you headed out.

The vending machine was near the gymnasium, and it had been no surprise to hear sneakers and footsteps once you entered. Usually, during lunch, students would rather find time to play than to actually eat. Thus, you ignored the ruckus and proceeded to buy yourself some milk.

Then you heard it— the loud thudding and laughter.

“That was my point!”

Someone shouts, laughing along the people he was playing with. A ball bounces, you pretended not to care, slotting some coins to get your milk. Then the noise stops for a complete second. You supposed they were taking a break, you shrugged and placed the straw inside your drink.

As the straw neared your lips, something or rather— someone, took a sip of your drink first. It was swift, and two second later, your drink was no longer within your grasp!

Frustrated, and ready to curse at whoever the hell took your drink, you twitched your head to the side to capture the culprit.

Sweat beading from his forehead, his hair wet and disheveled. His cheeks are a bit red from all the running, clothes soaked in perspiration. He smiled towards you, sipping your banana milk dry.

You didn’t move, staring at him with a — are you serious?— type of face. He throws the banana milk to the trash, patting your head and ruffling your hair. The slight height difference was visible, you smacked his hand away in annoyance. Or maybe you were flustered.

“And that, was mine.” You argued, sighing and taking out a few more coins to get some more milk.

Riki's teammates all yelled something about playing one more round, to which he shouts, "Coming!"

He then turns towards you, "Are you coming to the field trip?" He says, you think about it for a moment. "Why are you asking?"

"I just want to know." Riki says.

You shrug, "Yeah, I guess." Then he grins, ruffling your hair once more and turning back to his teammates. "I'll just play again, see you later at the library?"

You nod, half-expecting him to not come at all. "See you."

Nonetheless, you head to class with a huge, stupid, lovesick grin plastered on your face that you tried your hardest to bury away, yet to no avail.

And from the corner of your eyes, you see her — Kazu Naomi.

"Riki! I was looking for you everywhere!"

Then everything washed down upon you, the grin dissipating, as fast as day.

Over the span of one week, you learned a few of the following:

1. Nishimura Riki hates anything literature more than he does math.

2. Nishimura Riki, once he’s up to it, is actually a rather fast and efficient learner. (though the situation is seldom)

3. Nishimura Riki told you your voice sounded nice every time you announced and that, according to him— he loves it when your voice is put up the speaker.

4. Nishimura Riki apparently is the eye-candy for many girls and guys alike. (not that it was anything new.)

5. The previous statement connects with the fourth— with one of those people being none other than Kazu Naomi.

6. Nishimura Riki and Kazu Naomi are close.

Regardless of the fact that all of these learnings centered around Riki, perhaps hinting you are a bit too observant when it came to him, out of all these, nothing pisses you off more than the last stament mentioned.

Well, it didn’t really matter whether or not hundreds of girls flocked over to his side, because he always did give off the plain, uninterested, boring response. It did however matter though when the person who flocked around is Kazu Naomi.

You see it.

You see the way she galloped around, attempting to join in conversations between Riki and his friend and the way she’d delicately. Delicately laugh and giggle like a sealion in front of him. And Riki would laugh, geniunely laugh, and put inputs of his own with keen interest.

Of course, you only ever saw during lunch. But if that’s what happens during lunch, then what more could happen inside the classroom? A classroom which, they sit next to each other.

Makes stuff ten times more troubling.

“Why are you so spaced out, chum? Help me with this question,” Riki abruptly says. You’ve earned the title of chum now, rooting from your words a few days prior— ‘quit acting chummy with me.’

You shake your head, “What was it again?”

Riki chuckles, pointing his pencil towards a problem. He was still sitting as lazily as ever, slouching and putting his arm on the table. “What’s the problem?”

“It’s this. I don’t get this.” You glance at the problem, before solving it on your own and—

Does Kazu Naomi still like her?

Or even worse, what if he likes her? He laughs without much of a care in the world whenever—

“Chum, what are you bringing for the trip tomorrow?”

“Hm? Oh um probably just some essentials. I won’t be bringing much, why?”

“I think you’re carrying the whole weight on your shoulder.”

“What?”

“I dunno,” Riki shrugs, swiftly taking your shoulders upon his palms and massaging it. “You look like you’re thinking of a lot right now.”

Tense at first, it doesn’t take you long to ease up into his palms. Riki had heavy hands, he massaged your shoulders with ease. “I’m not, it’s just, you know…”

You sigh, feeling to embarrassed to even think about such stuff.

“Mmm?” He tilts his head. “Know what?”

“It’s nothing.” You muster a small smile. “Really?” He was not having it.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of me chum, you don’t have to, y’know.”

Riki offers you a smug grin. You scoff, slapping his hand away. “I’m right here in front of you. All yours, too.”

“As if. You’re getting too ahead of yourself.” You slap him in the arm, Riki dodges with ease. “You’re cute.”

“What?”

“I said you’re cute.” Riki repeats. This is what you absolutely hated about him. His absolute lack of being dishonest, his effortless ability of being straightforward, and deeming it as a harmless joke afterwards. Although it was a light joke, it never really is for your beating heart.

It didn’t help that his remarks of honesty is no light feat, either. Who even says stuff like that randomly?

Over the past few days you’ve been tutoring him in the library, you find that his words are either the most dumbest thing, or the most unbelievable thing to leave his mouth. This, being being the latter.

“If you’re trying to smooth talk your way out of physics, nice try.” You counter quickly, rolling your eyes.

“It was worth a shot.”

He shrugs, laughing along your seemingly disgusted face.

Unbeknownst to you, though is that Riki had actually meant every word.

You are cute.

If there is one thing you swore on earth during your freshman year, and ultimately the year after— was to never ever go back or to recall fleeting moments of you and Riki ever again.

Sure, it had been hard to ignore. It was everywhere, traces of where Riki had left off. Your old notebook, the school itself, your phone— most especially your phone.

You hadn’t much of the guts to recall particular moments in life where all you did together with him was chat until the sun rose, at ridiculous topics memes you’d come across. It was a fleeting moment altogether, more than enough to make butterflies float and panic in your stomach.

But a few months after, it was more than enough to make your stomach churn in pain.

So, ultimately, when you lost all contact with Riki, flooding his email and your chat with him had been your only options. Your conversation with him had been filled with messages upon message, some making you look outright desperate in hopes of reaching him and contacting him.

Halfway through your junior year, you stopped sending anything at all entirely. After being given an ultimatum from your best friend, and an abundance of scolding from your parents— chasing after a person who vanished into thin air really was not worth the time.

So you stopped, and you swore to never go back to it again.

Packing your things inside your bag as you played music, you felt your phone ping from your bed. You grabbed your phone, half expecting the notification to be from Rei, only to see the familiar name that pinged upon.

Riki.

His name was still the same as you’d left it, being too shy and embarrassed to change it into something more intimate once your relationship had gotten a tad bit deeper before.

You stare at his name for a minute, contemplating.

You opened the message anyways, excusing the chat for some sort of emergency.

Riki: hey

You: ??

Riki: what else are you bringing lol I feel like I underpacked

You: Why do you keep asking me this, I told you like a million times already

Riki: really? sorry, just wanted a reason to chat you then i guess

Your hear your heart thump against your chest. But your eyes scroll a little upwards, towards the thousand of missed calls and messages you’d left to him a few months prior. They all looked pitiful to even look at.

At this point, you should be mad at Riki for leaving them unopened. Texting you like nothing happened, like you weren’t practically begging to hear from him back before. It should be infuriating, but instead, it only leaves a bitter taste down your throat.

You hated yourself for being this understanding, for caring too much— for being too much.

You: Go to sleep.

Riki: wowwww i’m rather hurt! :(( be a little nicer pls

You: Stop teasing me, it’s annoying

Riki: and you like it, chum

You: I do not.

Riki: you do

You: No.

Riki: yes, i can see u blush whenever i get close to you its adorable

You: Stop being annoying.

Riki: annoying is my middle name

You: what

Riki: lol jus kidding

Riki sends you a meme of a cat that oddly looks like him, jumping around with a silly goofy cafe. His favorite little meme. Odd, it sends a little smile down your face, momentarily forgetting anything else. For once, you let him chat and annoy you to his heart’s content, hoping, wishing, and seeing the old memories pile behind the new ones.

After a night filled with countless memes and gifs with Nishimura Riki, the day of the trip finally came to roll around. Arriving to school early before the sun showed up, and finding it you are just as excited as others are.

Well, that was a couple minutes before.

But now, you’re not so sure anymore as you boarded your bus with Rei.

It wasn’t really such a big deal, given the fact that him and Naomi were classmates, and the bus occupied two sections and you were paired with a section you could care less about.

And, Riki, well… Their section was in a separate bus. It shouldn’t matter, it really didn’t. Not until, from across, you saw their bus. Then, you see him. You see her, too.

Kazu Naomi, sitting down the window seat with Riki beside him.

All color, excitement, and joy faded within your features. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was go home and wrap yourself with your blanket and talk to absolutely no one.

You had the free will to choose your seatmate, Rei was beside you scrolling through her phone. She sensed your dejectedness, and immediately asked whats wrong.

“I don’t know…”

You grumble, fumbling with your colored wristband. But Rei knows full well. Rei knows everything despite you not uttering a word. “This is about Riki again?” You nod, not even feigning innocence anymore.

She sighs, “it’s just for a few gut-wrenching hours, if that makes it any better.”

“You saw?”

“How couldn’t I? She had that stupid little creepy grin on her face,” Rei looked at you, pretending she was shivering. You laughed, “It’s impossible not to notice.”

“Right? And now people will notice, too.”

You groan dramatically, Rei laughs as she pats your back. “I can give him a beating later if you want me to, oh, and her too.”

“Please do the honor.”

She rolls her eyes, not prying into your antics any further.

Your phone pings, you pick it up.

Riki: you alright?

You stare at the text message of the boy, opting to respond:

You: I’m fine.

Then you look outside, towards his bus. Riki coincidentally does the same.

But you left it at that, a simple stolen glance, choosing not to say anything more.

The whole ride on the way to some Mt.Takao (why the school chose some random ass mountain to have the trip on, you could not understand), albeit having your entire existence soaked in worried, you tried your best to push the thoughts aside.

Upon arriving at the top of the mountain, topics of discussion of the activities were all you heard from the people around. Their chatters, even as you unboarded from the bus remained.

Something like team building activities the student council had planned out.

Upon placing some of your stuff in your assigned cabins, it didn’t take long before all the students were gathered once more around the area for some activities. It had been cold and chilly, enough for you to wrap some layers around your body, not too thick, yet not too thin.

Students gathered at the center of the cabins, you walked alongside Rei who was perhaps saying something about her newfound hobby a few days prior.

The student council led by their president— Yang Jungwon, had been in charge of the preparations for the activities and game. Teachers are left for their own entertainment around the mountain, though occasionally, some would check around and make sure all the students are safe.

You knew some of the members of the student council. Aside from the aforementioned president, their vice president, Park Sunghoon. A rather distant man, and someone who often kept to himself. You got to talk to him before after being assigned by the same teacher with a specific task.

Their secretary— Kazu Naomi. Enough information has been said about her. Needless to say, she’s not one to be painting a pleasant taste upon your tastebuds.

Their treasurer— Park Jongseong. A very particular but friendly man. He talked and greeted, and did not really keep much to his shell. You got to talk to him before, during a previous meeting of all the vice presidents the clubs in your school who are next in line for the president position.

Speaking of presidents, Yang Jungwon is a man you could rather say you are close to. As not only is he the president of the student council, he is also a part of the journalism club, one which your club assisted in broadcasting. Meetings and gatherings often led the two of you to communicate and eventually, a budding friendship had grown between.

“Everyone, gather round!” Yang Jungwon spoke, his members beside him as he calls the attention of the students. The two of you make eye contact, you give him a small smile, and he offers one back. You saw him often around school, but you don’t really have much of a real reason to talk to him that much yet given there was no collaborative works between the two of you.

“I hope the presidents of each class has done a solid headcount,” Junwon confirms with the rest of the presidents, proceeding once he got the affirmation.

“We got a couple of activities planned for the day before we all take time to rest.” He announces, “Your wristbands given to you are the assigned groups you’ll be working with for today’s activity. You can proceed to team up with them, and each group will be given an assigned facilitator from the student council.”

Your wristband was blue, Rei’s was yellow.

You parted from your best friend, looking around for possible teammates as the students clamoured and shouted, in search of theirs too. Eventually, you spot a group of people in blue wristbands gathering up, you hurried to join up with them.

With a gentle smile, you come and greet them politely. “Hi.”

They say hello back, you settle in a small chatter with your teammates as you wait for the others. After a few minutes, soon enough, your group had finally been complete. You scanned around, looking for Rei… And maybe Riki as well.

“Y/N, I’m here! Goodluck!” Rei shouts from your peripheral vision, you wish her goodluck. Red team… Blue… Green… Black—

Oh.

Your throat felt dry immediately. As if the occurrence at the bus hadn’t been enough, Riki really just had to be at the team where the facilitator is Naomi.

It isn’t a big deal, it really isn’t.

But it had been a sentence that ultimately, had no effect upon your already jealousy filled heart. And much like the gloomy weather that sounded of rain, the same feeling remained.

You make eye contact with Riki, he smiles, holding his thumbs up— asking with his eyes if you are okay. You are about to respond when, “Y/N! You’re in this team?”

You turn around to look at the person, it was Yang Jungwon. With a friendly smile, you nod. “I am! Are you the facilitator?”

Jungwon nods, making small talk that rendered you unable to respond to Riki’s little sign if concern. And eventually, you’d forgotten all about it.

The first team building was simple. Upon receiving enough information from the student council, you found that they had went here a day prior in order to prepare for the activities. The task was straightforward: complete each checkpoint assigned as a team, with the said checkpoint containing a map leading you to your final goal.

Albeit not having the most extroverted personality, you find yourself getting along with your teammates just fine. And, after a few more chatters, a horn finally blew indicating the task had begun.

It was a bit of a chaos, students roaming and shouting around in excitement as you got lost in the depths of their conversation.

It didn’t bother you much, really. Your teammates are a nice bunch, making small talk and jokes. It seemed all of you shared one thing in particular— in no specific mood of being competitive and just enjoying the entire trip. But that hadn’t meant you wouldn’t complete the task, given that Jungwon was your facilitator and he was encouraging everyone like crazy.

“Jungwon are you sure you don’t want to tell us where the checkpoint is?” You ask him, breatheless sighs came upon your lips as you took another step. God, this mountain was hefty.

Jungwon laughs, shaking his head. “No, then that would be no fun, would it?”

A teammate of yours, Kim Sunoo, joins in the conversation. “You’re always no fun! Come on tell us so our team can win.”

It doesn’t take you long before your group began persuading Jungwon into divulging some hints on the whereabouts, but to no avail. He was as sturdy as a rock.

You sigh, taking another step towards the soil, completely unaware of your feet getting stuck on some thorned plant. One foot in, the other falls backward and trips on the soft, mushy soil immediately. Suddenly, you feel a jolting pain pulsing on your ankle and you could not move.

Jungwon was the first to rush to your side, “Hey! Are you alright—”

“Ow.” You groaned.

Your teammates gathered round upon hearing the sudden fall, concerns written among their faces as they fumble and ask if you’re okay. Jungwon holds them back a bit, “Guys, she might need a bit of space right now. Can you stand?” You attempt to, raising your right foot but ultimately failing to do so with the left as the same pain comes crashing through. “Fuck.”

Luckily, Jungwon immediately catches your slightly falling figure within his arms, settling you down a large boulder instead. “Easy there, did you feel something break?” He asks with concern, you shake your head.

“I don’t think so…” The blood that trickled down your calf was evident enough. “I got my pants wrapped around the thorn, it hurts.”

You try not to look like a wuss but the pain that wraps around your calf was immense. It was taking all your power not to cry in front of these people, let alone talk. Jungwon pauses for a minute, contemplating. Then he spoke,

“We’re not that far off from the first checkpoint, you see that light over there—” He points towards a visible light not too far off, “That’s the first checkpoint, you guys continue to go North and we’ll follow after.”

Looks of hesitancy and questioning bubbled around. Sunoo spoke, “We can’t just leave you here, it’s hard to split up in such a place.”

But them staying here would absolutely be useless. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize the team’s chance behind. “I’m okay, we can’t all stay here. You guys go and get our first checkpoint and we’ll meet up soon after.”

“But—”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry, it’s just a small wound, go.” You cover up the bloddong with your right hand, Jungwon comes to your aid, kneeling down and inspecting the wound.

“Sunoo, you go lead the team up, then come back here after.”

Sunoo, looks around, then eventually nods. “Let’s go.”

He leads the team around, the rest of them following him in search of the first checkpoint. Meanwhile, you finally wince and groan meekly in pain. “Can you lift your pants up?”

You nod, lifting part of your calf and showing him the bloodied part. The thorn that you came across upon, was pointed and tall, making it easy to skim through the insides easily. Jungwon nears the wound, touching it ever so slightly. You wince, “That hurts.”

“Sorry,” He says without looking up, grabbing something from his pocket. “I didn’t think an accident would happen here, I forgot my first aid down the cabins…” He mumbles, patting your wound with his handkerchief very delicately.

You protest, “Don’t use your handkerchief.”

He looks at you, “Why?”

“It’ll get dirty and bloodied, I don’t want that.” You mumble, Jungwon merely smiles, “It’s fine.”

“But—”

“I have plenty more, besides, we need to somehow clean up the bleeding.”

Nodding, you argue no further and let him clean up the wound. It wasn’t such a big mark, but it was enough to have Jungwon off the edge and tainted with worry. “You seriously have to be more careful…”

He says, taking something from his pocket once more. A small ointment for wounds. “I thought you didn’t carry your first aid kit?”

“I got a little restless and brought a little something from the first aid kit.”

You chuckle. Always so meticulous and prepared. “I see…” Jungwon folded a piece of his handkerchief, using the other side to dab some of the ointment on.

You suddelt felt something cold fall atop your head, continuous droplets of water cascading down. You reached your hand out— it was raining. What perfect timing. The light droplets soon began to turn into a heavy onset of rain. Jungwon looked up, “I also totally felt it would rain today but I completely disregarded bringing an umbrella.”

He sighs, you stand up slightly, thanking him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

With a nod, “It’ll heal itself.” You smile towards him. The rain wasn’t letting up anytime soon, soaking your bodies with water as it grew heavier each passing second. The fog and the bluriness suddenly came into light, and the spark that Jungwon once pointed out towards to be the checkpoint, was gone.

“Fuck.” He curses, “I didn’t think the rain would be this heavy.”

“We need to get under a roof or something first.” You hurriedly say, adrenaline rushing in as you took his hand and led him somewhere, “What about the others? They might be looking for us.”

“They have to manage, we might slip or something in this steep place if we don’t get ourselves under something.”

Jungwon eventually agrees, allowing you to take control of his hand and leading him somewhere. Albeit having the placed familiarized with at the back of his mind, he chose not to spoke, chose not to tell you that the others are probably not looking for the two of you and opting to find shelter instead.

He stays quiet and just lets you.

Soon enough, you see a small pile of boulders and rocks not too far off, forming a rather gigantic cave with nothing inside. Deeming it as safe, you entered and checked the surroundings. “Are there like, bears here or something?”

Jungwon laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, at least not that I know of.”

He shakes his hair around like a puppy drying itself, the water hitting your face as you chuckle and smack him, “Careful!”

He laughs along, raking a hand through his hair and sighing. The two of you were soaked beyond belief, your clothes sticking upon your bodies like candy. And well, from your peripheral vision, Jungwon’s shirt clung to his particularly molded abs.

You tried not to take a peek, you really did. You always knew Jungwon was a rather active person, but you never knew he was this active.

“What?”

“Oh? Um—” Your eyes stray upwards, only to find him tilting his head at you innocently. “It’s… Nothing.”

You had to stop thinking like a complete pervert.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? Your leg…”

“It hurts but hey, it happens.” You smile at him gently, squeezing the bottom of your shirt to drain some of the water out. Jungwon removes his flannel, putting it down and patting it, “You can sit down if you want.”

You thank him, sitting down and sharing a flannel with Jungwon as you patiently waited for the rain to let up. It had been a comfortable silence, one that was neither heavy nor awkward as the only ruckus the two of you heard was from the pattering rain outside.

Gently heaving a sigh, you hug your knees close to your chest, feeling apologetic. “I’m sorry, Jungwon.”

“Why’re you saying sorry again?”

“Our team got disrupted because of me and now got stuck in this place together because—”

“Hey, don’t say that.”

But you continue, “Because I was careless as hell and it’s—”

“Y/N.” Jungwon says sternly, gaze locking onto yours. His eyes held sincerety and firmness, “Stop saying that, accidents are bound to happen and it’s not a big deal.”

His words doesn’t let you up. A wave of comfort washed over you as pondered over what he said. It hasn’t sinked onto you yet, the subtle glances and hint he shared and offered.

“Thank you then.” You smile at him, Jungwon smiles back.

You hadn’t noticed an hour had passed, aimlessly chatting with him on topics that regarded school and anything casual, really. Jungwon is a nice guy, flowing along a conversation with him and sharing a good laugh wasn’t difficult. He understood too, listening earnestly at your little stories and concerns.

The rain had finally let up, you offer Jungwon to leave the cave and go find the others to which he agrees. He gets his flannel back, and the two of you leave the cave as the the sun rose back in its full glory.

You were laughing about something he said when— “Look, it’s a rainbow.”

You turn to look at the sky. Its colorful hues paunting a beautiful curve, the bright colors of a rainbow coming about. Smiling gently, you walked alongside Jungwon as you looked out the rainbow. “I swear, I thought your team wasn’t gonna make it to the next round.”

Pertaining to one of the sports club matches in taekwondo, you turn to look at Jungwon. It was a few months prior, with their competition being held at your academy and seeing the sparring in full play. Jungwon was one of the players, and that was the first time you ever saw him kick and discover a side out of student council.

Jungwon chuckles, a sheepish grin on his face. “I had like a huge bruise on my cheek after that spar, though. The opponent violated some rules.”

You nod, “I saw that too, good thing you didn’t let him get the best of you.”

Jungwon leads you through a forest of trees, after a few minutes of walking, you finally reached the cabin your school settled upon. The different colored teams were there, some had been soaked just as the two of you were, some held little flags, indicating they reached a particular checkpoint before turning back because of the rain.

Your appearance with Jungwon was no shocking thing, but you feel a presence inching closer towards you as you neared the rest of you group.

“Hey, Y/N.”

You turn to look at the voice, Riki was right in front of you, with eyes you’ve never seen him in before. Was he… concerned?

“What happened to you? Are you okay?”

His gaze fell upon your legs, the calf that had been riddled with ointment and once had blood dripping down. “Chum, let’s take you to the clinic, your wound—”

He kneels, reachinng towards your injury. But you stop him, “Riki, I’m fine, it’s no big wound, just a little scratch.”

“Just a little scratch? You weren’t answering your phone, did something happen?”

You remembered leaving your phone at the cabin, opting not to bring it with you as you might lose it. “I didn’t bring my phone with me…”

“Oh.”

Riki nods, standing up. Once more, you were reminded of just how much his figure towered upon you, and it made you feel a little small. Jungwon remained by your side, casually conversing with some of your group and ensuring the students. The student council worked on crowd control, deciding soon enough to halt the activity first and get the students to freshen up so no such accidents will occur.

Side by side, you walk with Riki on the way to the cabin in silence.

“Y/N!” Jungwon calls from behind you, “I can’t go back with you, is it okay if—”

“It’s okay Jungwon! Thank you for helping me this much, I’ll get myself cleaned up.”

He smiles, nodding along and proceeding to his own things to tend to. Meanwhile, Riki listened to your conversation, his interest piqued. ”Jungwon helped you?”

You nod, grinning. This doesn’t escape him, “We got stuck in some cave during the rain, if it wasn’t for him, I would’ve been badly hurt by now.”

Riki just hums, voice deep and low. The sun was finally beginning to set by now, and the students are heading towards their perspective cabins to freshen up. Thankfully and oddly enough, you shared a cabin with Riki.

“Are you alright now?”

He looks at you, you only nod.

“That’s good, there’s no need for concern then. Looks like already had you under his care.”

You sensed a bit of tension beneath his gaze, the way he let it fall to your sides, to your bruised ankle, and eventually to your face. Riki spoke bitterly, “I’m going.”

Leaving you lost and dumbfounded, Riki leaves and walks on over to his room with no so much as another word. It fazes you, disappointment panging your heart as his broad back faced your eyes.

What was wrong with him?

For the rest of the budding night, you tended to your wounds more carefully with the help of very worried Rei who scolded you on safety and watching your own step. The breeze was already chilly, you had freshened up for the remaining time, so had Rei after the two of you chatted aimlessly. Riki pierced the back of your mind, like a little monster encaged and desperate to be unleashed. He was acting like nothing, like thin air. Concern was evident in his tone, then suddenly it all dissipates and he suddenly doesn’t care?

Eventually, it was time to gather outside for a little bonfire and meal prepared by some of the staffs and teachers. With layers of clothing wrapped around your body, you headed out with Rei.

By the time the two of you are out, Jungwon was already making rounds of each class with the assistance of the teachers to make sure of the headcount of each class. For the night was still early, only announcements were made, the bonfire would begin around midnight when the sky’s hues are completely washed out.

You didn’t seem to take hold of Riki’s eyes though, eventually landing on Jungwon and him giving you a thumbs up. You put your thumbs up too, initiating a little smile.

For the rest of the evening, albeit trying, attempting, to capture Riki’s eyes with yours, nothing seemed to work. He was ignoring you, that much was obvious. The reason why, too. But you know you couldn’t jump to conclusions, knowing full well you had nothing well going on with Riki, much less— Jungwon.

It was a risk of an assumption you weren’t willing to take just yet. It is, of course, just an assumption after all.

10PM hits, and all students were once more called to start the bonfire. It had already been set, with logs circled around the piles of woods to be set on fire. You sat down on one of them, watching as a teacher lights the wood and other materials on fire. A small explosion, one that causes a few of your peers to jitter ever so slightly, but you just stare at the fire, absent-minded.

It didn’t blind your vision when its orange, yellow, and red colors are a lot more closer to your eyes. You just gaped at it like some sort of fish.

“What are you thinking of again?”

Rei asks, picking something from her bag; A little smores kit she’d packed for the two of you. You sighed, “Have you noticed? Riki’s been ignoring me.”

“He has,” Rei picks a stick up, stabbing a marshmallow. “I thought you were fine just a moment ago?”

Shrugging, you took a stick and made one yourself. “Yeah and all of a sudden he just started… Ignoring me.”

Rei picks up and pieces the situation together, from earlier this morning to the present. Then she said, “Oh my gosh.”

“What?”

Rei covers her mouth. shock beyond belief. “The two of you are so stupid.”

You feigned offence, “Okay, now you’re just being rude.”

“No, I mean did you ever notice?”

Rei waits for your statement. Even if you know, you share none and kept your mouth shut. “I know you know, so go talk to hin right now.” Rei knows, as usual.

The beating of your heart goes a little louder at her statement as you consider it, as you consider him.

And when Rei pokes her smores near the campfire as students do the same, she knows you’re no longer beside her in search for the man.

It doesn’t take a genius to wonder where Riki was. He wasn’t inside the cabin, neither was he out enjoying the camp fire. Which meant he probably roamed around a little somewhere, though not too far.

The light on some parts of the mountain was dim, but enough to provide you with sight as you willingly searched for him, a marshmallow and a stick still intact in your hand. What would you begin to even tell Riki? To stop being such an idiot and notice you again? To tell him that, no, whatever he was thinking of was wrong and you wouldn’t dare to think of him that way.

To tell him you absolutely adore the smitten looks on his face whenever—

Crack.

It happened all at once, something exploding and something like an explosion of one’s emotion—

“I like you, Riki.”

Then it showed up, the fireworks, obnioxiously coming into place like you were in some sort of cinematic film.

“I know we haven’t been on such good terms before, but we can continue where we left off and—”

And— nothing at all. Because the next moment, you were no longer eavesdropping. You were stumbling, choking back your tears as you stood on heavy ground with a heavy heart. Your footsteps felt like tumbling and stepping on tons of weight as it plodded through the thick grass and soil. You didn’t care that they’d possibly heard you.

There was nothing mistaking it. That was definitely Kazu Naomi. It was definitely her, Naomi’s soft, gentle, heart in her sleeve— confessing to Nishimura Riki. Nothing else mattered anymore, you weren’t going around to stick to whatever it is he had to say anymore. What else was there to see?

At the ripe age of fifteen, everyone deemed it to be the perfect little time to be loved and to love.

Blossoming through the ripe seasons of spring when everything began anew, for some odd reason, you never find yourself aching for that same desire at the age of fifteen.

Until you met him, of course.

It was just a short-lived moment, one that could pass as forever.

The gym was noisy with the dribbles of heavy ball and the scraping of the shoes. You were not inside, rather, outside of the gym chatting away with Rei and striding alone.

And just like any other typical highschool romance, his ball had to come in play.

Nearly hitting you, Rei once turned around to scream go to hell to whoever threw it. Out came Nishimura Riki, a fellow schoolmate. He was the same level, same grade, and year as you.

His apology barely scraped as a whisper, a short, “Sorry.” Before heading back in with the ball in his hand.

Such a petty though, he was cute.

Though during the course of a strange destined interactions, you find him to be quite the opposite. He wasn’t avoiding saying sorry, simply just thinking the barely audible sorry would be enough. That was his trait, his feature which made him had this mysterious aura around him.

Nishimura Riki was no stranger to attention. He always did well in his sports, had the face to pass as a model, and the unique, mischevious vibe around him which made people adore and become curious of his nature. He shared what was necessary, choosing to respond with, “Cool, mmhm, yeah, s’good.” every single time, in situations where he had to agree.

It bundled all together, the bitterness for refusing to be in love at such a young age, and budding into something of a hopeless romantic.

And really, that was where it all began.

You were thinking now, though, that this right here might be the moment where everything actually ends. It felt way worse than when Riki left without a word and explanation, it felt way worse because the situation in the end made you realise that every twist and turn would progress to absolutey nowhere because Nishimura Riki is already here.

Right now, though, the two of you are blatantly ignoring each other.

It all started all the way home upon witnessing their scene, from then on, everything dismaying thing soon followed. You ignored him, he ignored you. As petty as it sounds, that was how the situation came to be. Your tutor sessions? Bullshit. He doesn’t come anymore, you don’t ask about it, either.

Everything was back to where it used to be, where Riki used to be out of the picture.

One moment, as you were doing your daily tasks in your club room and reading some love letters from the box, a certain bright red envelope piqued your interest. It had that certain allure and brightness that made it stand out amongst other letters, it was scented too.

Curious, you open the envelope and read it.

“A situational problem goes like this—”

What an interesting way to begin a love letter.

“Being interested in someone, but you have not yet pursued the idea of a serious relationship. Then all of a sudden, everything bursts and you go jealous over another and ignore them becauss of your petty emotions. What do you do?”

That was the end of the letter. No confession, no emotions pouring out. Just… A problem waiting to be solved.

“Well, this was a pretty short letter,” You say into the speaker as you analyze the content, “Hmm. Let’s say you were ignoring that person because of jealousy, does a person know you are jealous in the first place?”

You continue, “The first thing I thought of is to immediately make sure there is no misunderstanding involved in any sort of situation possible. So, you can ask them if there’s a problem, and if there is, you explain as best as you can. Jealousy is inevitable and ensuring that maybe your future partner does not overthink, then you explain regardless of your status in the relationship. We don’t want to break the trust now, do we?”

You ended the problem with a bit more solutions, stating some unlabeled personal problems of your own. And after reading a few more letters, you finally got ready to pack up and leave for class.

“Would you get mad at me if I said I was jealous?”

Fucking— Wha—

“Oh my gosh! You scared me!”

It hadn’t occur to you that somehow, Riki sneaked his way inside the room. He was standing in plain sight, in front of you. Uniform unbuttoned, hair disheveled and wet as if he’d just gotten out of a game. His breath shook a bit, but his presence toward you remained unnerved.

He repeats his question, “Would you get mad at me if I said I was jealous?”

“Riki what’s this all about, I need to go to class—hey!” You attempt to bypass him, but he holds your wrist before you had the chance to do so, his figure leaning downward and you visibly panicked.

He was eye to eye now, holding both your wrists with one hand as he waited for your answer. God, the distance was insufferable, it wasn’t too close but it was close enough to have his breath fanning over your face. Not to mention, his glossed eyes which awaited for an answer.

“Let go of me, I need to get to class.” You protest.

“So? We’ll both be late together.”

You gasped and attempted to smack him with your constrained wrist, his laughter bubbling and reaching your ears like melody. “You’re not answering my question.”

“Ah…”

You think about it for a moment, piecing the puzzle piece by piece. Was he the one who wrote the letter?

“Are you… jealous though?”

“I am. I really am.”

What?

“Was that your letter?”

Riki deadpans, then laughs, shaking his head. “My letter? No, I wouldn’t do something like that it’s—”

He sighs, “It’s stupid. Yes it was mine.”

“Huh?!”

Slowly, Riki comes closer. Closer, closer, closer, until his head rests atop your shoulders and his nose nuzzled upon your neck. The action made shivers run down your spine, a gesture that was too close for comfort and had your fingers hesitating and your body on edge.

Riki gently places your hands down, taking one in each of his hand and caressing it gently as the sweet scent of your neck comes rushing down upon him.

“God, you drive me crazy, you know that?”

“How…”

“I haven’t stopped liking you since I disappeared, I just couldn’t forget you and—”

He sighs, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Riki what do you mean…?”

“I get jealous so easily it’s driving me insane.”

Something about his words knocked something within you, his fingers deattached from your wrist down to your waist where he hesitantly wrapped his arms around, only to pull back. “It’s okay.”

You reassure him, he places his grip back on your waist, yet leaving a safe distance. “Do you like Jungwon?”

What?!

“What do you mean? What does Jungwon have to do with this…”

“Do you like him?”

You answer immediately, “Romantically? No. He’s Just a friend, Riki.”

You feel Riki’s constrained breath sigh ever so carefully, as if that weight was upon his shoulders for a little while now, as if he’d been thinking of asking that for years, just waiting for the perfecr opportunity.

“Then it’s okay if I’m doing this, right?”

Riki tightens his group around your waist, pulling you dangerously closer. Riki’s scent engulfed your nose, he was all you felt, all you smelled.

“That I’m holding you like this…”

His fingers then came upon your cheeks, caressing it, “Touching you like this…”

He pulls his head back, looking into your eyes with a glossed gaze, “Looking at you like this…”

“Keeping you close like this?”

He rubs the small of your back with his thumb, the way he moves make everything so electric. You know it was second nature to him to speak this way, to act this way. It wasn’t anything new, but it still sent shivers down your spine.

“I don’t know Riki… What are you doing..?”

Riki finally lets go, you fought the urge to frown at the loss of his touch. He stuffs his hands into his pants pockets, “That time at the trip, I saw the way Jungwon looks at you, the way he cares for you, chum.”

His nickname for you was finally back. You internally squealed, you might have pounced upon him if not for your self control. “And it’s stupid but it made me terribly upset.”

You half expected this much, but to hear him actually say it outloud was different. Nishimura Riki was no vocal man, and if this was all it took to get him to act, honestly, it made you a little bit pleased.

Scratch that, it made you very pleased.

“It did?”

Riki nods, “It really did.”

And when his fingers held loose from his pockets, shifting from his head to your cheeks, Riki squeezed your cheeks the the point where it hurt and you had to slap his hand away to stop.

“I guess I’ll see you later at the library again?”

Three months since school started, and no one else has been the apple of your eye.

It was an endless little routine that garnered— You tutored Riki at the library every other day now, given that he had to prioritize his game at basketball and training too.

Something changed between the two of you, though.

It was subtle, unnoticeable by those who rarely observed. Yet people saw it, the way Riki pats your head whenever you pass by him in the hallway, the way he would so very obviously sneak out during lunch time to have shared moments with you at the radio club room whenever you were there, the way he would call you chum in front of a large crowd.

It was going slow, maybe too slow for the likes of others. But Riki never strayed too far in terms of actions, keeping his boundaries present and built up. Still thinking of you, always thinking of you. In words though, his flirting was way too evident.

And when it came to messaging? You couldn’t let go of your phone. Besides class, whenever you had the time, the two of you would message one another and send random memes and bring up random topics to talk about. He called once, when he needed help with a problem and that ended up in a call that lasted for hours. Though there was no more incident following that.

This, perhaps however may be one of the moments where the unlabeled something between the two of you where it will be obvious.

You think, as you sit atop your bed and message the person who’s been occupying your mind:

Riki: chum what time are you coming to my game?

You: I’m all ready, maybe once the game starts? So it’s not too noticeable.

Riki: silly its about to start in a few minutes

You jumped from your bed, quickly putting on your shoes.

Riki: and also, melon or pineapple?

You: What’s this about? Definitely melon.

Riki’s icon pops up at your screen, a picture of him when he was a cute little child. Surprised, you click to answer his call.

“Yes?”

You hear shuffling, Riki’s screen was black, then it shifted and his face was now showing. He was wearing his jersey, the muscles of his arms peeked just a little as he held the phone up to his face. “Hi Chum.”

“Hey, don’t you have a game in a few? I’m on the way out now.” You held your phone to your face as well as you exit your house. “I just missed you, is all.”

His words made you shift your phone from your face to some random pavement. Riki chuckles, “Where are you chum? I’m just kidding.”

“You have to stop saying jokes like that…” You mumble as you refocus the phone back to your face, “Why? Cause it gets you, no?”

“Riki! Stop it!” You want to slap him so bad right now.

“Okay, okay I’ll stop!” Riki snorts, someone shouting could be heard from behind him, Riki responds before turning back to you, “I’m just making sure you’re coming to my game pretty girl.”

Pretty girl, chum— god, you’ll explode if he calls you that one more time. When Riki starts using something, he never lets go of it. Which in this case, was his too strong of a nickname for you.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s your game, of course I would.”

You see him pause for a moment before he grins, “I’ll see you here then, yeah?”

You nod, “I’ll see you.”

“I have to go chum! I’ll wait for you here.”

You bid goodbye to him. Riki thought he pressed the end call, putting his phone down on his bag. Confused, you peek a little closer at the screen only to hear someone speak from the other end.

“Who was that?”

“Just my pretty girl, she’s coming to my game.”

Oh and fuck, you never ended the call so quickly in your life.

“Y/N! Wow I never imagined to see you at a basketball game.”

It was pretty noisy, the large bustling and hustling of the crowd. The game had already started, you were a little late. Rei isn’t one to be interested in such crowds, but for the sake of you, she went and tagged along.

Someone’s voice chimed from behind, it was Jungwon, along with Sunoo, Sunghoon, Naomi, and Jongseong. You smiled sheepishly, greeting them. “It’s my first time actually!”

“You’ve never watched a match of Decelis Academy basketball team before?” Sunoo asks, plopping a popcorn down his mouth as all of you settle on some bleachers not too far away. “No, it’s not really much of an interest of mine.”

Jongseong spoke, “What made you want to watch it then?”

“Oh, it’s—” You hesitated to say it outloud. Riki? Should you tell them it was Riki?

“Chum, I’m glad you made it.”

All of you turn to look around the owner of his voice, it was Nishimura Riki. Was it even possible to say that he looked more delicious up close? Someone of his nature, looking all sweaty from all the warm ups, his cheeks flushed a bit of red, his jersey labeled number ten. And gosh, his biceps— his biceps!

“Riki!” Naomi beams, something within you tingles in alert. They all greet him, Sunghoon, Jungwon, Sunoo, and Jay bumping their bodies with Riki as a friendly bro thing.

The whole entire thing with Naomi confessing months before, you only treated as some sort of fever dream for the sake of your sanity. It happened, but you pretended it hadn’t. You’ve not been feeling much of her for the past two months around Riki, it was better that way.

Every moment she does though, it’s like your system is on high alert.

Riki gives a little acknowledgment to Rei and Naomi, but his focus and eyes remained at you as he neared with an exciting grin. “Hi.” He says once he was face to face and once again, towering over you.

“Hi, I thought you were starting already?” Came your breathless response,

“I just wanted you to come a little faster.” Riki grins at his cheekiness. “Here,” He was already holding something as he got to the bleachers, he hands it to you. It was two pieces of melon bread, along with some milk you always got at the vending machine and a small, singular rose that was crocheted and wrapped ever so beautifully.

You beamed, feeling flustered all of a suden at the eyes of your friends which kept its attention on you and Riki. You were speechless, simply taking the items from his hands.

Riki had always been really sweet over his actions whenever the two of you alone, but to to be this bold was much of a surprise. “T-thanks…”

To your surprise, Sunghoon squeals a little, “Damn! You’re actually like, not afraid anymore.”

Riki gives him a glare, Jongseong chuckles, “Tough kid all grown up.” He ruffles Riki’s hair. Over the course of a few weeks, these boys have come to grown closer and more intact with their friendship. Prior to Riki leaving, he wasn’t really intent on making much friends.

“He’s actually trying to be a gentleman now.” Rei teases.

Riki grumbles, rolling his eyes at how they treat him like a kid. Jungwon simply just smiles and agrees to the context of whatever the text was. He never responds when something like this happens, he never teases nor does he join in either. Likewise with Naomi, content with short laughs and smiles.

“Ugh, whatever. I have to go, see you guys after my game?” Riki bids farewell, he then pats your head. “See ya, chum.”

And he smiles, leaving once more to go to the field where his teammates were all preparing for the game.

“You know…” Naomi suddenly starts, her tone unusually quite just for you to hear. She looks at you, a glossy tint on her eyes. She looked like she was about to cry. “That time at the field trip, I think you know what happened—”

You quickly cut her off, “Oh, no, no. I happened to stumble upon it but I didn’t eavesdrop into the conversation, don’t worry.”

“I know, I think it’s right if tell you anyways.”

You furrow your brows, why now of all times? Besides, you’d already let that part go and choose not to dwell on something so insignificant any longer.

“That time I confessed to him at the trip,” Naomi’s voice got impossibly smaller, she fumbles with her shirt. “I told him I really liked him. You know what he told me?”

From your peripheral vision, you see a sliver of Jungwon listening in cautiously.

“What?”

She looks at you and chuckles, “That he doesn’t see something happening between us and he was just focused on getting your heart back.”

You no longer had time to response as a loud whistle and horn erupted from the crowd signalling the game was about to begin.

“Decelis Academy vs The Tigers!”

The athletes of Decelis Academy enters, it wasn’t a home court for either athletes, but the cheers for Decelis Academy was loud and booming. Some even held their banners of the team proudly. From the corner of your eye and ear someone screams— Nishimura Riki go! So delicious and so good!

Weird ass much?

You opted to ignore some of the cheers, keeping your eye on one number and one number only— ten.

If Naomi’s words held some truth in them, Nishimura Riki definitely succeeded in getting your heart back and this time, you’ll definitely let him know.

The game eventually started with Decelis Academy claiming the ball and bouncing it to their side of the court. One of the students— 01. Lee Heeseung was it? He passes the ball to another you don’t know who student, but being barricaded by two students from the oposing team. The student eventually passes the ball to Riki knowing he was trapped, Riki catches the ball with ease and shoots a three point.

All of you screamed and shouted, jumping around so excitedly for the point. It’s not like it was his first point ever, but something about seeing it so close up for the first time— Riki playing and all, ignited something within you. You grinned, finding yourself too giddy whenever he scored a point, and pouting whenever he got knocked over and blocked by the opposing team.

It wasn’t even a matter of you supporting the team anymore.

“Unfair much?” Rei teases, observing your very tense posture as you wait for Riki to catch another three pointer. Riki shoots it with such a precision, his hand must have a ruler or something like that.

“Whoooo!!!” You screamed and jumped and jumped, your excitement being the center of attention to your group of friends. You see Riki looking around a bit, eventually catching your eye. He runs to the opposite side of the court in a silly way, giving you a little grin.

Sunoo smiles, “I think you’ll be coming to more basketball games more often.” He attempts to scream through the noise, Sunghoon chuckles. “She’s definitely got the spirit.”

The match eventually ends with Decelis Academy leading a few points more than those tigers, and when it was time to gather up, all of you collectively agreed to congratulate Riki and Heeseung (he was apparently a friend of Jungwon.)

“Congratulations!” All of you beam at the same time, Heeseung and Riki were drained in sweat, barely even having the time to muster before the boys came in and engulfed them in a warm hug. Through protests and groans, the two eventually gave in to the embrace. The three of you just stand back, chatting along some other topics as you waited for them to finish their conversation.

Falling into a conversation with Naomi wasn’t hard, you’ve always been friendly and close with her even before. But maybe, the views have changed a little bit.

After few topics and sharing laughs with the group, the two eventually had to part and go their separate ways. Jungwon, Jongseong, Sunoo, and Sunghoon bid their farewells, you had a very positive feeling this wouldn’t be the last time you’ll see nor technically hang out with them.

Naomi too, had to go and leave. Eventually, it was just you and Riki left as Rei had went to the bathroom for a little while. Riki insisted on walking you over to the bus stop while his team got ready on their own bus. So, it was just you beside him, shoulder to shoulder.

The silence was deafening, Riki wasn’t really speaking much at all. “I hope Rei comes soon, the bus might come over any moment.” You try and fill in the void.

Riki simply nods. The unnerving quiteness lasts for a few seconds before he says, “Hey um, chum— would you mind if we go out a bit later at night?”

You paused in your tracks, “Go out? Where?”

“I kind of want to—” Riki scratches the back of his head sheepishly, “treat you to a little something as a thank you for watching my match.”

“As a thank you? It’s okay, you don’t—”

“What I’m trying to say here is I’m asking you out tonight if that’s okay.” Riki finally goes straight to the point, twisting his body so now, he faced you. Suddenly, you feel your heart pumping louder and louder, stumbling out, “You’re— um— what? Asking me out?”

Riki nods. “If that’s okay chum? I mean it’s fine if—”

“No! No, I would love to. Where do you want to go?”

“There’s a cute coffee shop around your neighborhood nearby, let’s go there?”

“S-sure, what time do you want to go?”

“Is six pm okay?” You nod, looking into his eyes shyly. Riki smiles, you see the way his face lights up as his fingers squeezed your cheeks, “Great. I’ll come pick you up?”

“Okay.”

”Okay.” He pats your head, “See you later pretty girl?”

“Mmh. See you later.”

Riki eventually leaves once Rei comes back, she sees your flustered face, “I’m hoping he hasn’t kissed you out here in broad daylight.”

You smacked her arm, hiding away your tomato cheeks, “Stop! It wasn’t he just— asked me out.”

“Finally!” Rei beams surprisingly, the bus arrives shortly after and you continue your conversation as you go inside. There’s one thing you’ve been curious of with Rei ever since this whole thing happened.

“Rei can I ask you something?”

She hums, “You know Riki is a bit more of a trouble maker and all that. You find him rowdy right?” She nods at your statement, “I find it that you don’t harbor any certain ill feelings towards Riki, why’s that?”

Rei deadpans, looking at you with her face flat. “Are you kidding me?” She asks, as if the question was too ridiculous to even answer. “I have hundreds of ill feelings towards that boy! Look at how he ghosted you all of a sudden, and how he doesn’t care about his grades and how—”

You immediately cut her off, “I’m sorry! Nevermind! The question was too ridiculous to ask.”

If you’d pressed on further and maybe attempted to defend Riki, in the end, it would end up with Rei being on the winning end. Rei was naggy, but she was right most of the time. Rei sighs, leaning back into the bus chair.

“I talked to him one time after your entire argument and ignoring each other stage.” She says, pertaining to where you and Riki had blatantly ignored each other after the field trip.

You gasped, “You what?”

“I talked to him.” She repeats, matter-of-factly.

“Why?”

“You guys were dragging it more than it needed to be, I tried and talk to you but you wouldn’t budge. So naturally, Riki wouldn’t budge either.” You stay silent, Rei continues, “You looked so miserable you know? And every time I see Riki pass by, he always had this frown on his face and I could more or less guess why.”

“So I talked to him about it, and I told him what he really thinks of you.”

You hesitated before asking, “…. What does he really think of me?”

“He said he doesn’t want to lash out his jealousy on you so he chooses to stay silent for a little while during the trip. Then, you started completely ignoring him on the way home. Which is, the two of you are completely stupid, I can see that from this standpoint.” Rei rolls her eyes, “But— Riki had always really been the nonchalant person, so to see him say something like that was new for me too.”

“Riki said he didn’t know what to do because he doesn’t want to lose you but he doesn’t want to feel like controlling you either knowing how much he’d hurt you in the past. So, I gave him a little push to give you that letter in the Love Box. I never imagined he would actually do it, but the way he did it was really childish and not even secretive in any way.”

You chuckle, remembering the moments a few months back. It was, indeed childish, very Riki. “I guess that’s part of his charms, though. Very straightforward and monotonous. Regardless, that time when I talked to him, it didn’t seem like he was lying with his intentions with you so I’ll give him the free pass— for now.”

The last part felt more like a threat than comfort on your end, but your heart swooned anyways, placing the pieces of puzzle together inside your head. One piece, being from Rei’s personality of keeping you safe and well attended to in any matter, the other, finally clearing up the misunderstanding that had jumbled and racked your mind. And finally, the last piece being Nishimura Riki.

You had a clear vision of what you want to say to him now, what to tell him.

It was stupid, as Rei would always tell you. Regardless of it being stupid, dumb, chaotic or what not, one thing remained certain in a sea full of doubts— you like Riki and he likes you back.

Your parents would always tell you to absolutely, no matter what, one hundred percent— not have a boy over at home whenever no one was around.

But the sudden disappearance of your parents, only leaving you with a sudden chat of, ‘your grandma is sick, we’ll come back tomorrow!’ tells you it wasn’t really your fault.

Well, it partly is.

And it was partly Riki’s too.

You were just nervous, is all. Plus, Riki wasn’t even going to your house, he was just there to literally pick you up. What was there to worry about?

Everything.

It was currently 5:50 PM, ten minutes before Riki arrives. It felt like your skirt was a bit too tight around your waist (it was not), your necklace felt like it was choking you to death (it was just you), your top felt like it was too… little? You were just anxious at this point.

Your cat comes around, perhaps sensing your distressed state. She rubs her face around your leg, an action you find absolutely adorable as worried dissipated momentarily.

Then, you feel your phone ping, you quickly opened to see and check the message.

Riki: pretty girl are you all ready?

You: Yes!

Riki: oki im almost near ur house

You: Okay, I’m not sure if I dressed up enough…

Riki: you’re pretty either way, doesn’t matter

You: Girl.

Gosh, you’d punch Riki in the gut if you had the chance. The way he states something so easily like that is what surprises you every time, now you were even more conscious with your attire! What you wore wasn’t even bad, a cargo skirt paired with a similar jacket and a tube top. Your shoes were just loafers, comfortable enough for the walking.

Maybe you were just overstimulated considering this was technically the first date.

Ding.

Speaking of the first date, you hear the doorbell chime in and you hurriedly came down from your bedroom, nearly tumbling upon your own two feet as you did so. You opened the door, you honestly wish you hadn’t and just kept it closed.

“Hi chum.”

Riki’s dressed in all black. He wore tattered denim pants and white shoes, it was paired with a graphic tee and denim jacket. His hair was tousled slightly, indicating it had been a bit styled, lips parted to greet you in a gentle manner. It seemed he was into accessories too, with the way it adorned his neck and waist, dangling about.

You definitely should have kept the door closed.

“Hi.” Came your breathless response.

Though, the better response would be— how in the world did you go from dressing like an emoji to a literal fashion icon?

Weird, something’s beating and it’s definetely your heart.

“Ready to go?” Riki asks, you nod and exit your house. “Oh, I haven’t introduced myself to your parents yet.”

You shrug, “They’re not really around today, they’re at my grandmas… Maybe tomorrow?” You turn and lock the door. With the way you had suggested it, it seemed like you were suggesting him to come back tomorrow and visit you. Regardless, Riki does not bring it up and only smirks in response.

“I’ll greet them tomorrow, then. And see? I was right, you look pretty whatever you wear.”

“Can I punch you.”

Riki chuckles. “I’m not teasing you.”

The sun had already began to set as you walk side by side with Riki, there was a deafening silence in the air following his flirty responses, similar to when he walked with you at the bus stop a couple hours prior. It was killing you, what was he thinking of?

“So… Where’s the coffee shop you wanted us to try?” You couldn’t bear the stillness any longer. Riki only grins, patting your head. “Just a few minutes walk away, do you trust me?”

You nod slowly, but there was mischief in his eye. Riki smiles, unconsciously or perhaps willingly— he took your fingers within his grasp and started walking a little faster.

Warm. That was what his hand felt like. Slightly calloused from all the basketball he’s been playing, but it was gentle and calm with the way he held your hand. Perhaps willingly once more, he intertwined your fingers with his and walked along as if it was nothing. His back was facing you, and once again, you couldn’t see what he his expression was.

Yet, the subtle twitch of his touch proved a little something, and the redness of the tip of his ears was more than enough to let you know Riki was nervous.

You didn’t let go of his hand, albeit it feeling like your whole body was about to explode. Often times, it felt like you were outright tiptoeing with Riki, reaching the verge of acting like a couple yet you were not. It was risky and dangerous, something you hoped would end by the end of the night.

You hoped he felt the same too.

After a few minutes of walking, the two of you eventually reach a lit up cafe. Riki enters, you follow suite, given he did not let go of his grasp on you. The outside felt a little small, but the inside was definitely different.

It was a grassy little field, with an abundance of trees surrounding the counter where you are made to order. What makes it different is the fact that the trees were large and sturdy, each tree having two to three treehouses built upon them. The inside of the treehouse looked spacious too, lit up with some LED lights on the inside.

The entire placed looked like a fairy garden, in all honesty.

Something that came out of a fairytale, like a place for little elves for there were so many trees. Some trees had lights hanging upon their leaves, a few seats were seated at the shade of those trees too. Quiet a few people occupied the seats, and it made you wonder how he came to know of this place.

“I didn’t know something like this existed near our neighborhood?!” You gaped like a little kid buying a doll for the first time, Riki chukles at your reaction. “You never go out save for when there’s school.”

Pouting, you nod along. Riki wasn’t lying, outsides perhaps just wasn’t really your thing.

“It’s— it’s beautiful, wow!”

You were too busy admiring to notice that you were right in fromt of the counter, a nice lady who had piercings, colored hair, and similar clothes to Riki took your order. There were quite a few baristas, each one having a different style than the next as if their avatars were that customizable. Probably college students who took arts and design.

“What do you want to get pretty girl?” Riki urges you as she smiles as the staff who swoon over his face. You ignore it, shrugging, “Anything is fine for me.”

“Hmm, is a latte fine?” Riki suggest, you agree and he orders ahead. Completely ignoring what he was even ordering, you kind of just admired such ethereal place that existed right before your eyes. You definitely had to come to this place more often, and you had to come out for more in general, really.

Once Riki finished his order, he asked if there was a treehouse available. The staff nodded, pointing to quite a few. He thanks the staff and held your hand once more to guide you to one of them. “This is so magical, Riki, wow! It’s—”

“Pretty isn’t it?” Riki looks at you with a smug grin, as if he’d plan the mos top notch date of your life. And he has, he probably will continue to do so. “I can’t believe I don’t even know this was just around our neighborhood.

“I like to explore places, I happen to have found this place while—” Riki stops middway, “Nevermind.”

While he contemplated visiting you on the way home from one of his games.

“What is it?” You urge him, “It’s nothing.” He says back. You choose not to pry, eventually reaching one of the treehouses and entering it. The space was lole any childhood dream, tapestries of random posters, board games, a mini record player, a small table and color mats decorated the treehouse. It was bright too, with the way the LED lights hang dimly. You sat on the mat, crossing your legs. Riki, somehow manages to do the same given his height. He was cramped though.

“You’re too tall.” You giggle.

“Yeah?” He just chuckles, trying to fit is oddly long legs. Riki sits beside you, rather than across you, a gesture you appreciated a little more than you’d like. “Wanna play some card games?” He offers, you agree with excitement and watch as he pulls out an uno.

“Uno? I’ll have you know, I’m pretty good at that game.” You boast.

“Really? So am I.”

Riki’s competitiveness allowed him to win a single match, you challenged him for another because you know he’ll tease you relentlessly and put his victory over your head for a while. You were on the verge to winning, when the food came in and Riki used the excuse of— needing to eat— because he was hungry.

You grumble. “That’s so unfair.” Riki pokes your cheek, laughing at he put a piece of fry in his mouth. “I won! Ha!”

But all disappointment faded away when he feeds you a piece of fry. Riki ordered quite a bunch, a couple of meals and sides as well as your drinks. “Riki, I’ll pay half of the food. How much—”

“Wow this chicken is delicious, try it.” He feeds you a piece of the chicken, you hesitantly chew on it.

“How much do I—”

“Ooh! My latte is pretty good too, want a sip?” Riki quickly places the straw to your mouth, waiting for you to sip but you don’t. It was clear what he’s trying to do here. “I swear, Nishimura Riki—”

“Are these cheese on the fries? They’re so cheesy! Geez, have another one.”

You didn’t even have time to speak when he was already plopping the fry on your mouth and you had no other choice but to chew on it. “I seriously can’t believe you.”

At this point, he was just being a dork. Riki snorts, taking your hand in his once again and kissing the back of it with ease. A gentleman, tempting, dork, that is.

Riki smiles, caressing your hand with his thumb as he shrugs. “It’s always on me, pretty girl.”

“But I can’t—”

“Just this once? Please?” Riki turns on that puppy eyes, a capability of his you never knew he could do. Adorable. With a sigh, you agree, “I’ll pay for it next time, okay?”

He grins, “There’s no guarantee in that, chum.”

For a few more hours, you spent your time, heart and stomach full from the stories and the food you and Riki shared.

“I’m stuffed, my gosh.” A little rub of your belly was all it took for Riki to chuckle. Chatting away mindlessly paired with food was not really such a good combo. “Me too, how was the food?”

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?” Riki tilts his head, you roll your eyes. “After I just ate my ass off here! But thank you, Riki.” You grin at him, thankful for him being ever so generous. This was, beytechnicality, your first date after all.

“I’m glad, pretty girl.” Is all Riki says before the two of you turn to leave the treehouse and the cafe all at once after parting with sad goodbyes. You’d have to come here more often, and with Riki as your accompanin for the next few times.

The sun had already been long gone the moment you left the cafe, with nothing but the street lights decorating the pavements. It was unfortunately, very cold. Cold enough to have your legs shivering and your thin cargo jacket aim uneffective. Riki noticed this, taking off his own thick jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. It was twice your size.

“Oh, no, Riki it’s okay—”

“Keep it, chum.” Riki cuts you off, you simply nod to his statement, not refusing the warmth his jacket provided. Oh, and the scent of his perfume too. The two of you walk around aimlessly side by side, fingers and shoulders brushing past each other dangerously. No one spoke, until you broke the silence,

“Riki, I—”

“Y/N, I—”

“Ah, you go first.”

“Alright well um, thank you for today Riki. I really appreciated the treat, and—”

It seemed the universe worked in your favor, as the moment you spoke, the park you walked over to lit up with bright lights. It was cold, but the warmth of Riki’s shoulders provided shelter to your shivering body. You stood below a tree— a cherry blossom tree — where it’s pink hues fell with such certainty. A pile of the petals had collected below your feet, with the way the light shown, it honestly felt like you were the main character of a romance drama.

“For this, for everything, the past few months you’ve been treating me so well and kind.”

“It’s because I want to make up for the time I’ve lost.” This time, Riki faced you. He met your sincere face confessing to your heart’s content. “For the time I just disappeared without a trace, I want to make up for that, pretty girl.”

You chuckle, “You already have.”

It was but a subtle movement, Riki moves a tad bit closer. “But that’s besides the point. Thing is, I really— I like you Riki. It’s hard when my feelings are all jumbled and I’m still scared to fall in love, but I won’t deny the fact that I really like you.”

And he moves closer, “And?”

“And I know I may not be the most perfect person, I’m a bit of a mess at times and you—” Riki gently places his hand on your cheeks, shushing you. “Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true, people admire you a lot while I—”

“And I admire you a million times more than those people, Y/N.”

Riki sees you as a whole, the bigger picture to his puzzle pieces. Someone who, despite tumbling across the world’s inevitable problems, manages to stand her ground and keep her stance. Someone who never ran away from the things people throw at you, someone who despite being wronged for hundreds of times, you always find the forgiveness in the depths of your heart.

If not for that, Riki wouldn’t be standing here right now in front of you, with the same look of pure admiration in his eyes. If not for that, Riki wouldn’t even had the chance to get back on his own two feet to keep you close to him, to hold you.

“Really?”

“Really.”

You ease into his touch, Riki moves impossibly closer.

“Can I say something?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you too, pretty girl.”

Closer, closer, until— “Can I kiss you?”

But it was more of a statement than a question because the moment you finish mumbling a breathless yes, his lips were already on yours.

It came in so suddenly, one minute you can feel the fanning of his breath, the next, all you can feel was the plump lips of his pushing against yours. The kiss was shy, hesitant even. Riki held firm, pressing just a tad bit more as his fingers caressed your supple cheeks. It was like electricity with maximum voltage, his touch kept you intact and addicted. The way he held you like you were a fragile, porcelain doll made you feel like jelly in his touch. One of hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer if that was even possible.

Your mind was in a daze, too lost on reciprocating his feather lips and too hung up on the fact that Riki was actually kissing you. Like silly little highschoolers, like silly little kids— he kissed you just like that.

It wasn’t heated, nor was it filled with desire. It was just— breath taking in a way that your lips molded together and was filled with nothing but love and unspoken emotions for the past few years. Sweet his lips were, firm were his hands upon you. When the two of you eventually ran out of breath, he parts his lip from yours ever so slightly and connects his forehead with yours.

You did not believe that just happened.

“Was that— was that okay?”

Riki asks, but with the way he was clutching you close made you get the feeling that it was more than just okay on his end. You nod shyly, cowering away. But Riki laughs, gripping your fingertips which attempted to cover your flushed cheeks,

“Pretty girl…”

He kisses your forehead, “Is it safe to assume I’ve won your heart again?”

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ END *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

Extras!

The start of April symbolized new beginnings, the end of March wraps every chapter up.

“For the last song recommendation, I’ll be playing fifteen by Taylor Swift.”

Fingers grasp the rough CD, perhaps the last one you’ll ever touch in such a place— your school for four years. It leaves a bittersweet feeling down your stomach, but you clutch the pain and let the music roll in.

You take a deep breath And you walk through the doors It's the morning of your very first day

“Today is the last day of the Seniors in Decelis Academy, and this day marks their graduation.”

You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in awhile Try and stay out of everybody's way

“As we seniors part way to head towards a brighter future, may all learnings imparted upon us be used in the near future.”

It's your freshman year And you're gonna be here for the next four years In this town

“For all students of this Academy, thank you for sticking by and supporting the Love Box, future officers will hold the name of this box and continue our practice.”

Hoping one of those senior boys Will wink at you and say "You know I haven't seen you around, before"

“And this is the President of the Radio Club, signing off.”

'Cause when you're fifteen And somebody tells you they love you You're gonna believe them

“May all your dreams and aspirations come true, students of Decelis Academy!”

You lower the volume of your mic down and let the music play. Fifteen when you first entered highschool, fifteen when you fell in love for the first time. You look around the Radio Club room, feeling pride and sadness swell in your stomach.

Then the bell rang. It was time to part and finally graduate.

“Let’s go chum?”

Someone knocks from the door.

It was time to graduate with him alongside you.

You turn to him, a somber expression on your face. Riki nears you, he holds his diploma tube in one hand. This was the first time you’ve seen him in prim and proper uniform, it suited him way more than his disheveled, improper look. He looked handsome, and you could tell he thought you were pretty too, with the way his eyes sparkled.

And when you're fifteen Feeling like there's nothing to figure out

“You done with the announcements?” He asks, gently moving a stray of hair away from your face. “I’ll miss this place.”

“I know you will, chum.” He grins, fishing something out from his pocket. It was a brown paper, perhaps coffee-coated to achieve the vintage look. Its edges were also burnt, “What’s this?”

Riki urges you to read it, you open the paper.

It read:

“I’m not good with letters, I’m not good with words, so excuse this silly excuse of a letter. But this is for you, chum. The person I admire most since I was fifteen, the person I’m glad I got to meet. As we enter a new path together, we don’t really know what will come ahead of us and what challenges we have to face. But I know one thing— that we’re certain. I’m not scared, I’m excited even. I’m excited to be going through life with you, I’m excited to be with you. And I’m glad I got to spend my highschool life together with you despite it not going in such a smooth way.

I love you, pretty girl. Always.”

Tears stained the brown-colored paper, all you felt was the prickling of your eyes. You were crying.

You read the paper over and over and over. Riki was looking someplace else, embarassed to have you reading the letter outloud despite having suggested to do so. But upon hearing your sniffles, a worried response immediately came from him.

“Are you okay? Hey—” His fingers brushed away the tears from your eyes, “Is my handwriting or grammar that bad?”

You shook your head, “It’s beautiful Riki, it’s—”

Something washes over you and you immediately held him tight in your embrace. Riki was surprised, but he hugs you regardless, patting your head and tightening his hold around your shoulder. You sniffled in his arms.

“Don’t cry, I thought I did something wrong, hey—” He pulls your shoulder back, “You’re crying even more!”

“I can’t help it I—” You wipe your tears, “I love receiving things like this.”

Riki sighs in adoration, nearing your head and wiping away the tears that adorned your face. If he knew you loved receiving such things, he would’ve done so long ago. He didn’t want to see you crying, especially if he was the reason despite it being for such a good cause.

“Pinky promise me something, chum.” His hands continue to cascade away your tears, cooing at your adorableness.

“Yeah?”

He holds his pinky finger out, “That you’ll spend your forever with me no matter the season. I won’t leave you again, not this time.”

You laugh, “Is that even a question that needs asking?” Intertwining your pinky finger with his and enclosing the promise— together and forever. No matter the season, even if the cherry blossoms no longer fall, even when winter feels too cold and summer feels too hot.

Riki smiles ever so gently— kissing you cheekily.

The mic of control system buffers, and something rings.

It was an indicator that the mic had gone silent, just this very moment.

And then you hear it, the screams and cheers of the students around.

Well, count to ten Take it in This is life before you know who you're gonna be At fifteen.

[howisjoostfanfictionforfree]

Three Times as Many ///// Longer Nights

Real person fiction! Joost Klein x vampire!reader

CW: 18+, MDNI, RPF, brief reference to past murder, cannibalism if you squint, smoochin, dry humping, oral sex, light bondage

Reader: vampire!reader, cisfemale!reader, not too descriptive with readers appearance, implied to be smaller than Joost but by an unspecified amount

Notes: Read part 1 here. Sorry for how atrociously long this part took! Vampire Joost in the Why Not??? mv helped give me the inspo to finish. I hope you guys like it because I can’t tell if I do or not. Thanks for reading!

Gargantuan kudos to @joosthead for being my inspiration and my support as always! Also huge shoutout to @catholicfacade and @tkomptgoedluv for your kind words that have driven me onwards with this fic! My tumblr homies on god

Words: ~11,600

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're not sure why you left Joost standing there. 

Why you ran away. 

Again.

Things were going so well. You could have kissed him. Could have done all sorts of things. It's not like he wasn't into it.

Maybe it was just to get a reaction. Joost is so expressive. The way he looks at you is already something you crave and you've really only just met. Maybe it’s because as much as you want to believe you overreacted that first night, you're still not really sure you did. Nothing has made you lose control like that since the time you literally ate someone.

The doubt tickles at the back of your mind but it’s also hard to pay it too much attention when the insistent pressure of Joost’s cock against your ass is seared so clearly into your memory. It’s hard not to want to see him again. 

Still, if you’re doing this, you’re taking no chances.

Joost is expecting you at his studio tomorrow, so tonight, Melkweg is the place to be. Tickets to actually see a show are too expensive when you're not there to enjoy yourself so the cold evening is spent against the even-colder cement wall of a movie theater across the street. Wedged between gently lit ads for Bones and All and Puss in Boots you watch those who have partied too hard trickle out of Melkweg’s ever-revolving door.

Each is more than drunk enough to suit your needs, but tonight they are all in groups. So responsible. So unhelpful. When one guy finally stumbles out sans-friend you let yourself follow, slipping into those same shadows that are deeper than ever. 

Fall is well underway and nights are only getting longer.

A few streets away the lamps are sparse enough and he goes down easy. His blood is hot and sharp and everything it should be, but it’s hard to miss how unmoved you are by the man beneath you. He tastes good, it scratches an itch, but your attention is divided and the whole process somehow feels clinical.

Even now you're thinking of Joost. How you wish it were him. How he would moan when your teeth slide in deep. Deeper than he expects. Would he still be so happy-go-lucky then? Or would he claw and beg? You don’t even know which one you prefer. The man groans and you realize you're biting way too hard.

It was a good idea to do this tonight. 

You try to drink your fill, as much as you suspect the poor guy can tolerate, and release him. He nearly stumbles into the canal in his panic, but rights himself before you have to make a watery rescue. His hot blood simmers in your veins, warming you against the evening chill as you watch him stagger down the street and disappear. Hopefully he can find his way home on a cold night like this.

Anti-murder  insurance measures complete, you head for your own home with what you hope is a full belly.

The morning doesn't bring the rain so typical of your new favorite city, but instead a creeping mist. Almost as thick as the shadows that multiply with each passing night, the tiny droplets obscure the neighborhood as you stand on your balcony ruminating on how very in-control you will be today. 

The address Joost gave is surprisingly close to your own apartment. The brisk ride on your shabby bike that may or may not have originally belonged to someone else lasts only ten minutes.

16 Schimmelstraat is like much of Amsterdam. One of many brick row houses lined up one after another, complete with compulsory loading beam and hook jutting out above the top window, leftover from when the street was once a canal. There are a few small shops tucked in at ground level but most of the buildings appear residential.

Few people are on the street and with the way the sun can’t quite penetrate through the murky whiteness, the world almost seems to stand still.

Joost stands on the stoop at the end of the row in what looks like at least three hoodies. He’s still so beautiful it’s shocking. Leaning against cold whitewashed brick, much as you did last night, he smokes lazily. The tendrils curl up and away from perfect pouty lips to join with the mist and you can imagine the city is enshrouded all because of him. 

You see Joost long before he sees you. Hard not to spot a glowing head of hair like that even in this murkiness. Here in the Netherlands it shouldn’t stand out, but it did in the club and it does now too. You’re sure it’s just the almost-mullet. Nothing to do with the way his features are imprinted on your hindbrain.

When he notices you coming down the street, his face lights up just like before. He can barely stub out his cigarette as he keeps looking up like you’ll disappear. Bounding down the steps on those long long legs, Joost skids to a halt mere inches away, nearly bowling you over and flooding you with his scent.

“Heyyy!” Joost looks so excited it's almost embarrassing. Hands flit around at his sides like he wants to touch but in the sober light of day he can't seem to find an excuse. It doesn't keep him from standing way too close for sanity. Already, your preparations are threatening to become useless as you fight the tug behind your eyes and the pit in your stomach yawns. “I’m happy you came!” He blurts, giddy. “I didn't know if you would really come in the middle of the day.” 

You squint. He can’t be serious. “I’m not nocturnal, I just prefer the club at night!” 

He giggles nervously “I wasn’t sure. Everyone knows vampires burn in the sun. Or sparkle. Looks like you don’t sparkle either.” 

“Sorry to disappoint.” 

He smiles so sweetly at that. “You don’t. I’m glad you came. Still want me to show you my stuff?” There's the eyebrow waggle again. You didn't know someone could look so tender and so unrepentantly horny at the same time. “C’mon, it’s just upstairs.”

Opening the door, Joost lets you through before following you inside. Immediately faced with another door you try the handle, but before you can budge it there is a jingle and he leans past with a key. It’s obvious Joost is making a move when he lets his chest press against your back as he all but pens you in, breath fanning over your neck. It’s more than welcome, but in the tiny space trapping every molecule of his scent, it nearly makes you do something terrible.. 

“Wait, wait, hold on.” You whip around and press flat against the door to regain some space, trying desperately not to get riled. No matter your preparations, Joost is an assault on the senses. 

“Sorry!” he pulls away quickly, big blue eyes searching you from behind thick black frames, eyebrows inching upwards. “Sorry. Was I reading this wrong?”

Holding your breath would help, but he's asked you a question and you can’t imagine ignoring a face like that. “No, you just..you smell too nice…and…I really need to get a handle on the eyes. Just…hold on one sec.” Joost absorbs that for a split second before melting back into a smile. “Oh, but we're alone, it's okay right? I like your eyes.” 

Such a flatterer. And he’s kind of right, it is good that you're alone for this. It’s a goddamn miracle no one noticed your eyes at the club. Here, you almost want to take advantage of the opportunity to relax around such an unusually accepting person. Still, you know Joost is also an unusually slippery slope.  “No- I’m trying not to-” you can’t even finish.

He waits patiently while you fight it but the memory of him hard against your ass in the club makes a timely reappearance and the eyes snap into place. 

“Fuck.”  You cover them quickly. 

He brings a hand to your wrist. “Let me see.” So gentle and so shameless, he convinces you easily. Dropping your hand, you meet his eyes and he holds them, just as mesmerized as before.

 “That must be a huge pain in the ass.” 

Your confusion must show because he clarifies “Hiding that all the time I mean. I’m glad I didn’t just buzz you in, Tantu might have been the one to get the door.” 

You blink. “I don’t think Tantu would have been a problem.” 

It’s his turn to look puzzled.

“I mean, this isn’t usually a problem. You just smell so much better than anyone else.” Now that you’re past pretending to be human you can’t find it in you to be anything other than blunt. 

The gears turning in his head are all but visible as he swallows thickly, face pink. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Well, just give me a minute, I think I’m almost there.” something about what you say makes his stunned look slide into a smirk but you ignore it in favor of focusing on slowing your heart and pretending you don’t smell the spike of arousal coming off him. 

You’re definitely not wet. Nope. 

After another minute you take a deep breath, and even though the accompanying wave of pheromones makes you want to punch the wall, you manage to keep your eyes normal. “Okay, let’s go” He obliges, and you give him room to unlock the door.

Turns out, Tantu is the DJ from the club. One of the many of Joosts friends that had been there that night. You step into is in fact a very real studio full of very real equipment you couldn't even begin to guess the purpose of.

Tantu daps Joost up with noticeable warmth and welcomes you into the space without fuss. It’s clear any friend of Joost’s is a friend of Tantu and he soon leaves you to return to stabbing at his computer. Joost shows you to his own in the opposite corner. 

Right off the bat, you realize any assumptions you might have had about Joost had been wrong as he hands you the most expensive looking pair of headphones you've ever seen and proceeds to play you his entire studio album released just over a month ago.

At the club he had said ‘huge artiest’ so jokingly, so flirtatiously, somehow managing to be modest mid-brag. You hadn’t known whether to believe him. You had hoped it would be true, but you hadn't really expected it. 

Here, now, in the span of fourteen songs it becomes abundantly clear he’s not just some soundcloud rapper, not a wannabe star. He’s a real one. 

He tells you a little about each song before he plays it. Who helped him the most in the end (mostly Tantu), where he was when he started writing it (so many places, he travels a lot), how he sampled this for this song and this for that song. He is deeply proud but you can tell there is also a layer of nervousness, like he truly wants you to like it.

You sing along to Fryslan Bop, the one from the club, and he laughs hysterically as you try and fail to imitate the sound of Dutch lyrics you can’t understand to the best of your memory. 

Finally, you finish and he seems to be waiting for a review.

“I couldn’t understand almost any of that, sorry to say. Only fuck, the handful of other English words, and Joost Klein. That really is your favorite lyric isn't it?” He shrugs happily. “But I didn't need to. I liked it. It made me feel… things. You have a lot of range in your sound. All the festivals I went to this summer and nothing sounded like this.”  

He’s grinning ear to ear. “Did you go to Pinkpop? I got to play this year!”

“Yes! I definitely didn't see you though, I would have remembered.” 

He nods sagely. “Must have been a different day.” 

You want to ask about the sad song in the middle of the album. Florida-something. So different from the upbeat tracks before and after. Somehow though, it feels like you can’t, like you shouldn't, and you let it lie. 

“All right! What’s next?”

Joost remains flirtatious over the afternoon but it’s dramatically toned down compared to your last encounter. Maybe it’s just how he behaves normally, without the booze and the high of the club. Maybe it's shyness given Tantu within earshot. Either way, you have no such reservations.

“Y’know, I was half expecting it to be all talk. Like, I wondered if ‘come to my studio’ was code for my place or yours?” Tantu coughs in the corner and a blush creeps up Joost’s neck. His scent kicks up and you're reminded why flirting right now isn’t actually a good idea.

Still, getting reactions out of Joost is a wonderful pastime and you can't help yourself. “This is so much better, this stuff is amazing, I’m serious. I think I’m gonna join the groupies.” From the corner of your eye you can see Tantu put on headphones. Joost looks rightfully smug. 

Hmm, not shy then. Smug is good too. 

After another hour of poking around in the files, you propose early dinner. Joost seems kind of surprised but suggests a few spots nearby. Maybe he expected you to bail again. To be fair, you’ve never stuck around this long before.

Tantu declines to join, citing too much to do. A suspicious answer, but you won't complain if he wants to let you be alone with Joost.

Joost leads you to an Italian restaurant of all places. It’s a short walk but from the corner of your eye you catch him almost reach for your hand no less than four times. You don’t reach back, pretend not to notice. He hasn’t touched you since this morning when he crowded you against the door and you wish he would again but watching him squirm is so much fun.

The October sun has already gone down and the neon sign for Antonio’s glows like a beacon on a street with few other lights. Joost stops to stare up at it. “Can you uh…can you eat garlic?” 

What are you gonna do with this guy? 

“No, I'll die.” He whips his head around. “Really?! Fuck, sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I know another place-.” You can’t keep a straight face. “No, I’m kidding. C’mon I’m hungry.” He follows, sputtering.

They must peg you for a couple because they automatically seat you at a table in the corner away from other customers. As you peruse the menu, Joost is unusually quiet. His eyes keep flicking up to you as you read. The waitress comes to take your order and his eyebrows disappear into his bangs when you ask for pasta. He’s still staring once she leaves and you can’t stand it any more. 

“Dude, I can't drink blood all the time.” 

He chokes on his water. 

This is apparently the permission he needs to unleash the legion of questions that have been brewing since the fateful moment you rubbed up on his dick and disappeared into the night. Joost proceeds to take inventory of your personal brand of vampire with a thoroughness you did not expect. You really should have, considering the way his heart picks up every time anything vaguely vampiric takes place. 

He’s a bit of a nerd about it actually. 

“So you eat regular food?” 

Yes. 

“Do you have to drink blood?” 

Yes.

“Do you have fangs?”

Yes.

“It doesn’t look like you have fangs.”

They’re retracted.

“Re..tracted.”

Not full length right now.

“Oh. Can you turn invisible?”

No. 

“Can you brainwash humans?” 

No. What? 

“Can you turn into a bat?” 

No!

“Okay, okay! How often do you have to drink blood?” 

You tell him what you’ve found to be true over the years. 

Blood doesn’t seem to be necessary for actual nutrition, but the longer you go without it the more you crave it, and ultimately the more forceful you become when you finally take what you need. It makes you feel healthier, it gives you energy, but beyond any of that it’s just an urge you always have.

Abstaining for very long only leads to bad times for your unwilling donors when you finally give in. Indulging about twice a week seems to be the best for keeping people out of the hospital. 

By the time the food arrives, Joost is looking suspiciously horny. Smells like it too. Resisting the tug at the back of your eyes is already becoming a practiced routine. He doesn’t seem the least bit deterred by the casual mention of violence and you wonder if you could ever tell Joost about that night. 

The thought gets flicked aside as quickly as it came. 

No one can ever know what you’ve done and it’s honestly crazy to be letting him in at all. Everything you have come to accept can’t be part of your life, everything you left behind, it was to protect you- you did it to survive. 

With Joost, it’s almost like those rules have gone out the window. You don’t know what about him has you wanting to be so honest. He may be unfairly hot and the only person who has never freaked out on you but where is the self preservation? 

You’re probably going to have to move again. 

Joost has more questions but you’re curious about him. He’s Dutch, he’s beautiful, he’s not actually a poser, he clearly has a danger kink, but who is he?

Somehow, though he’s bright red again, the first thing out of his mouth is that he is not Dutch. He is from Fryslân! Joost tells you a little bit about where he grew up, when he first moved to Amsterdam, how he used to do Youtube and how he first met Tantu. You let him talk and set to work making a dent in your noodles. 

Everything Joost tells you helps paint a picture, but to your curiosity, he is quick to skate over most of his past. Anything more than a handful of years ago gets more and more vague and it becomes clear there's something he’s avoiding.

You don’t see why he would be holding out on you, it’s not like you haven’t been telling him all your secrets. Well, maybe not all of them. Whatever. 

The Florida song tickles at the back of your mind and you don’t press it. 

“I’m down to one noodle, wanna Lady and the Tramp this shit?” 

Sadly, though he accepts with enthusiasm, the noodle breaks and you don’t get your arrabiata kiss. He checks his phone while you wait for the bill and curses under his breath. “What is it?” you mumble through your napkin.

“Tantu was just being polite earlier. He wanted to work on more stuff after dinner but I didn’t see the message.” You begin to wonder what that means for your evening but Joost is already smiling again as he slips the phone back into his pocket. “Oh well, Tantu always forgives me. We’ll do it later. Wanna go through the park on the way back?”

Your stomach gives a little flip. “Yeah.”

The last vestiges of the sunset are long gone and the park is deathly quiet. The fog has been so thick for so long that the grass is soaked, glistening under the lamplight and stretching out on either side of the path to form dark fields of glitter. 

“So, is it a date this time?” He asks innocently. You try not to trip over nothing.

You want it to be a date. It really shouldn't be, you shouldn't let people know you, but for so long it hasn’t even been an option and Joost is so much more than an option. You’ve never met anyone like him.

“Yes.”

He grabs your hand and every hair on your body stands on end. It’s an innocent touch, all things considered, but you know where this is going and finally, finally, something is happening. It’s a wonder you didn’t end up in his bed that night at the club. He so clearly wanted you, and you were just as ready to let him hit it against the wall in the alley if he’d asked. This time, you're not running.

He swings your hands as you walk, trying and failing to keep the smile off his face. Every ounce of your attention is zeroed-in on the way his big hand curls around yours, but it’s also becoming impossible not to notice the emptiness around you.

The surface of the pond is mirror-smooth and the trees stand lifeless as you wander deeper into the park, like everything is holding its breath. You are utterly alone and the crunching of your shared footsteps seems to echo. 

Forgetting you're an apex predator, one would almost worry about what is lurking in the shadows. It’s fun to suspend your disbelief, let the atmosphere affect you and pretend that Joost is your only hope against the creatures of the night. You grip his hand tighter and he grips back, giving a little squeeze then lacing his fingers between your own. 

The path continues along the water and under a bridge. Low but wide, the street that goes over must be a main thoroughfare yet not a single car can be heard. Joost’s puffs of breath are all the more audible as you enter the void of the tunnel underneath.

The shadows are deep, unnaturally so, and you can only half make out the patchwork of graffiti. The lamp at the exit seems farther than it should be and it gives you a thrill, still indulging in your supernatural fantasy. You press your side up against Joost, letting the closeness be a comfort even though you are nothing but excited. 

He stops in place suddenly, catching you by the hand, and pulls you to his chest. He wraps an arm around your back and squeezes. “Why are we walking so fast?”

The light is so low but you can still make out his features, pink, golden, and perfect, looking at you bemused. “It’s spooky out here, don’t you think?” You half-whisper. “If I’m out here, who knows what else is too.” It’s said with a smile and Joost grins right back. 

“Don’t worry, we’re safe if we’re together.” His eyes dart to your lips and back up before he speaks again. “Slow down for me?” In the stillness of the night, his heartbeat is deafening. His normally crystal eyes are dark, pupils dilating more and more with his climbing pulse. It’s a shame he can’t hear yours. A feeling you refuse to name pricks at your chest and you crane your neck up. 

He beats you to it. 

Your mouths meet and color explodes behind your lids. If his scent was powerful, the taste of him is something else entirely. Joost groans against your lips and releases your hand to wrap both arms around you, crushing you close.

When he has you where he wants you, one hand comes up to cradle the back of your head and he licks at the seam of your mouth. You open for him and he licks further into you with a sigh.

It’s hard to keep up. Now that Joost finally has you in his arms he is greedy and the hot wet of his mouth threatens to eat you alive. 

You don’t think you would mind if it did. 

Joost is forced to pull away first, his laboured breath visible in the cold. You whine at the loss and his eyes widen. Need for air forgotten again, he peddles you backwards until your back hits the wall of the tunnel and he’s on you again. Joost kisses you deep, hard, pressing you into the concrete like you’re laid flat on a bed.

The kisses make their way down your neck and when your eyes open as he sucks at your collar bone, it is to see that the passage and all its vandalism register in perfect detail. You never even felt the tug but your eyes are fully shifted. 

He lifts his head to capture your mouth again and you can’t mistake the infatuation in his eyes when he notices your own.

It ruins you. You could never say no to a face like that. What’s more, you don’t want to. His devotion is so apparent and this is only your first time together. If he weren't pressing you into the wall, it would have you on your knees. 

You kiss back, hungry. Maybe if you swallow him whole, you can keep him forever. It’s hard to ignore how good he smells. His arousal has been simmering all day but now it’s kicked up to a thousand and every inhale sends a pang to your cunt. Your panties are toast. 

The hand cushioning your head from the wall comes around to cup your cheek as Joost tries his best to drink your little noises. He has plenty of his own. Words too. Little yes’s and encouragements when he slips his knee between your thighs and you grind down. 

His length is hard against your tummy, bigger than you realized when it was against your ass before. 

The rush of blood under his skin is almost tangible- so quick with the frantic pace of his heart. The hot length of his throat is flush with it, and the most mouth-watering aroma curls lazily from the neck of his hoodie. 

Your core throbs. Your teeth ache. 

Joost’s fingers start to curl under the edge of your jacket, fumbling to get under the shirt. The cool air and his cold hands make you moan and he whimpers in response, grabbing you hard by both hips and grinding into you firmly. It turns your legs to jelly, and you have to break the kiss to catch your breath against his chest. 

Too overcome to focus on a rhythm, he thrusts mindlessly every couple beats as his lips make their way slowly down your temple. Even through all the clothing, the hot length of him is like a brand over your navel. He licks over your ear and all the air you managed to recover whooshes right out again.

Joost’s shameless enthusiasm, his desperation, has your head spinning. His scent has enveloped you completely- arousal so thick you can almost taste it with his throat so close to your face. You want to taste it. He nibbles at your earlobe tenderly and your stomach swoops. 

Spit pools on your tongue and it’s dawning on you that there might be a problem.

His lips start to travel down your neck a second time. Open-mouthed kisses and tiny nips followed by the flat of his tongue laving over each mark, soothing each time it makes you grip him tighter. Then, without warning, his mouth drops to that same spot on your shoulder- the same as in the club, and he bites down.

The thrill it sends through you ricochets down to your pussy, clenching around nothing, and back up again in a split second. Your fangs drop. 

You lunge forward before you can think.

You can’t think, actually. Joost is on you, around you, and he might as well be in you with the way he fills up every corner of your awareness making higher functions impossible. He jerks back, surprised at the speed of the movement, and your teeth sink into three layers of hoodie. 

It tastes like the pasta sauce he dripped on himself at dinner.

Your gut swoops in an entirely different way as your head clears all too suddenly and you unlock your jaw and shove him off you, hand slapping over your mouth. Joost staggers back a few steps at the force, nearly falling on his ass. He looks petulant, big eyes pleading like you’ve just taken away his favorite toy. 

“What's wrong?” He huffs, already closing the distance again. You lurch away to maintain the space and confusion twists his brow. Joost tugs at the neck of his hoodie, tucking his chin to look at it and finding two jagged holes and a patch of dampness.

His brow goes slack in understanding. “Oh, it’s okay, come here.” He reaches for you again. “You know I want you to bite me right?” 

Your eyes widen and you dodge his grabby hands. You don’t dare remove your own hand from your mouth to speak. Really, you should have known. In retrospect, it was obvious. Should have known from the moment he bit you the first time in the club that he really did want you to bite him back. Fucking vampire kink fucking weirdo.

Not that you’re entirely complaining.

Finally Joost stops reaching for you, pouting, and waits. You don’t trust yourself to speak for several minutes. It would be better if you left, ran away again in case the sanity doesn’t hold. You don’t want to do that to him again though, not a third time. You have to get a grip.

Slowly, you remove your hand and he perks up. “Sorry, about your hoodie. I- , We- , We shouldn’t do that. You won’t like it.”

“What, why not? I think I would.”

“Believe me, it hurts.”

His trademark blush and grin combo is firmly back in place. “I don't care, it’s kind of hot.”

You pause, unsure how to counter without laying out the details of how you don’t want to commit murder a second time. “It’s like with the eyes. With you, I can’t really help what I’m doing, can’t control myself. It would probably be rough. I might hurt you. I mean, it always hurts but I think I might hurt you for real.”

He looks contemplative, though you notice the blush hasn’t diminished. “Is it really that different with me?”

“Yeah. I don’t know why. I think- , I think I just need to get used to you. I probably can’t ever bite you, but if we’re gonna get cozy without me flipping my shit, then I think we might need an adjustment period.” You immediately realize what you said. “That is, uh, if you want to keep doing this sometimes.”

He doesn’t leave you hanging. “I do! You said this is a date, I want more dates.” His earnest expression becomes immediately suggestive. “If I have to wait to show you my stuff, that's okay. Can’t help it if I drive you crazy.”

Oh, he’s a bastard. “Whatever you say, spaghetti shirt. You’re gonna need to stop biting me too, I can’t be held responsible for what that makes me want to do to you.”

“Noted.” He chokes through a laugh.

“Alright, let's go back. I’m fucking cold.”

The second Joost had kissed you, all fantasies of supernatural ambiance were forgotten. Now that you're separated again, they are at the front of your mind once more. The shadows look like more than shadows and the density of the fog feels designed to conceal something lurking beyond. You feel the need to protect Joost, probably from yourself, but it’s nicer to imagine something else so you let the fantasy reform.

The twinge of unease from the misty morning on your balcony is back and you do your best to stomp it out. You just need to take it slow. You can still do this if you take it slow and let yourself get used to him. 

The walk is mostly quiet. Joost seems thoughtful and you try not to hold his hand too hard. When you make it back to the studio, you unlock your bike and try not to imagine the night swallowing him when you go your separate ways. When you turn back to him, Joost swoops in again for another kiss.

It’s only a peck, he’s giving you the space you asked for, but then his hand grabs your own and brings it to his mouth. It seems like he's going to kiss that too, goofy as he is, but quick as blinking he gives your knuckle a nip and winks before doing a one-eighty and starting down the street. 

You clutch your hand to your chest like you’ve been burned.

He bit you!

Again!

He keeps biting you and now he's walking calmly with his back turned like it doesn’t make you want to chase him down and pin him. Like it doesn't make you want to take him there on the pavement and tear into him.

Is this his idea of compromise?

“See you later!” He waves before disappearing around the corner.

It’s hard to decide whether to blush or go pale. 

You wonder, not for the last time, what the fuck you are doing. 

There's no chance to stew too long because the very next day Joost is already taking up all your attention. He hits you up at ten. You're naked in front of the mirror brushing your teeth when he calls. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” So chipper. 

You spit into the sink. “Just work, was gonna go to a cafe.”

“Can I come with?” He is possibly the most distracting person in the world for you, if last night was any indication, but he sounds so eager you can’t find it in you to say no. 

Joost meets you at your usual cafe down the street. A place you often find yourself working these days when your cozy apartment, though a good refuge from the persistent rain, becomes just a little too monotonous.

There is another moment of acclimation when you meet him out front, but you manage to keep your eyes from changing. You lean into him, forehead against his chest to keep anyone from seeing in case you can’t keep a handle on it while he smooths a hand down your back, heart noticeably fast and scent stirring at the closeness.

Anyone bothering to pay attention would think you were any normal couple embracing. After a few minutes when nothing happens, you straighten. Joost almost looks disappointed. 

He swoops in rather dramatically to pay when you order at the counter and you let him, bemused. He wants to know whether you’ve ever tried poffertjes and when the food arrives he feeds you one off his plate, looking only vaguely horny when you wrap your lips around it.

Joost asks you how you like the Netherlands and you find yourself telling him how long you really haven't been here. Before you know it, you're telling him all the places you've lived over the past few years, distracted from your work already.

He has so many questions and he drinks up your stories eagerly, relays some of his own about some of the same places. He really does travel a lot.

You get so caught up that you retrace your journey all the way back to your home country. When you pause, he notices you’ve exhausted your list. “That’s where you're from, right? You have the accent.” 

You hesitate, but telling him where you're from won’t actually bring him any closer to knowing what you did. “Yeah, that’s home.” 

“Why did you leave? Why so many places?” 

Fuck. 

“Is it because-” he pokes at his canines with the tips of his index fingers “vampire?” Relief washes over you. It’s the truth technically, more than he will ever know, and you don't really have to explain it. He’s filling in the gaps himself.

“Yeah, got too hard to hide.” 

When you part after many hours and little work, he gives you the tiniest, softest kiss, takes your hand, and brushes his mouth over the same knuckle before gently biting it once more.

The cafe becomes a pattern for the two of you, him showing up more often than you would have thought he had time for. He’s better at letting you work after that first day. Often brings his own things to work on, mostly concert visuals, and becomes deeply immersed in editing and drawing when he isn’t serving as your unwitting tech-support. 

When you’re not working, he takes up your time all the same. He texts you constantly. A stupid picture of his dog, of Tantu, an edgy meme.

You're not used to it. It's been years since anyone has texted you at all. Even your boss just emails. Most often, the texting is to suss out where you are and if you're busy.

He seems determined to take you to what you're realizing is every place he usually spends his free time. His favorite restaurants, his favorite parks, his favorite bars. He's so bright, so gleeful in almost everything that he does. Joost shows you things just to see if you like them too.

One night he shows up at your door, six-pack in hand.

 “Hi! …How do you know where I live?” 

He stares back with eyes that look huge through the black frames slid low on his nose. “You sent me a pin? I thought you wanted me to meet you.”

 A glance at your phone reveals the sent pin and several highly enthusiastic reply texts that you very much had not noticed. You meant to send him the link to the place you were meeting tomorrow. Fuck your life. 

“Uh, I didn’t mean to. Hope I didn't make you drop anything to come here.” 

“No, you didn't! What are you up to? Wanna hang out?” Joost almost talks like a kid. The bottles clink at the way he wiggles while he speaks and it only adds to the effect despite the way he towers over you like you're the child.

That night you proceed to have the first of many regular movie marathons with Joost. Keeping your hands to yourself is hard with him on your couch all cozy and warm, oozing pheromones, but he mostly behaves and so do you.

Another night, he takes you to his favorite skate park where you don't do any skating. You just sit and watch everyone else and eat ice cream that melts way too fast while he tells you about someone named Nathan. 

Another night after that he brings you to his place where you play COD until he gives up trying to teach you and you talk until the sun comes up. It's more difficult being in Joost’s flat, everything smells like him and it was fucking mean of him to wear grey sweatpants the first time you come over. Still, he gives you space, not pushing like you can tell he wants to.

It’s kind of sweet actually. This stranger you met at the club, grinded on at the club, trying to work with you and be delicate like being delicate matters. It all felt like some kind of weird extended hook-up at first, but the longer this goes on the more it feels like Joost wants to know you.

No one has been allowed to know you in a long time. 

You want to know him too- know more of his favourite places, his favorite movies, his favourite foods. Know what it is he isn't saying every time you talk about the past.

It’s beginning to feel like you will. Like this thing you have going isn't so crazy.  

Seeing Joost starts to fill your days, replacing the sporadic trips to the club that filled the human-shaped hole in your chest with a companionship that made you forget there ever was a hole. You didn’t realize how much of your time was so empty before. 

Of course he isn’t always around. Often disappears for days on end to the studio and long weekends away for concerts. But, he always comes looking for you when he’s done and no matter what else you get up to together, you always find yourselves back at the cafe. You’ve carved out your own territory there, a table where no one else ever seems to sit as if they know it's meant for the two of you. 

One morning you sit at it, waiting for Joost.

He strolls in later than usual, humming what sounds a lot like Numa Numa as he approaches with an extra spring in his step. He plops down unceremoniously in his usual seat across from you, fishes around in one cavernous pocket, and deposits a steel ball-gag in front of your croissant and coffee with a clatter.

“Hey, good morning. What’s this?” 

He rubs his hands together like some kind of cartoon villain. “Good morning! I’m so glad you asked! I was just thinking since, y’know, sharp teeth problem, you could wear this and then we could do whatever we want!” His eyebrows wiggle furiously. “Well, I guess we wouldn’t be able to kiss, but you know what I mean.”

“Uhhhhh.”

“I know you said you just need to get used to me but this way you don’t have to!” His giggly, somewhat bashful self of the first few weeks knowing him has melted away to leave a Joost with honestly very little shame. It was gradual, and he was never too reserved to begin with, but these days he is incorrigible. You must be rubbing off on him.

Sadly, this one isn’t up your alley.

“I’m gonna be real, that’s not happening.  Have you ever tried one of these? It’s a good idea but I can’t handle that much drool.”

“Come on, please? I won’t laugh at you I swear. And honestly-” He leans in close. “I needed to eat you out like yesterday. Can we try it?”

As much as you don’t care that everyone in the cafe has been looking at you since the second Joost whipped out a ball gag, you also don’t want to get kicked out. This is your favorite spot.

“No, put that away!” 

Joost takes it in stride but as the days pass, you can tell he’s far from done with his scheming.

At the movies and the automat and everywhere else he takes you, at his apartment and at yours where you’ve both started expecting each other, he is always nudging. Tempting you more and more while still following the rules. Little flirtations and kisses and those goddamn tiny little bites you never quite get used to. The tender press of his canines around your knuckle make your stomach swoop without fail.

You're sure Joost knows what he’s doing, what with the way he smiles that same little smile every time. 

Bastard.

It’s not like you can blame him for any of it. You want him too.

One day though, less than a week before Christmas, Joost is forced to pause his efforts. It’s a cold and gray afternoon, and though there’s no snow on the ground, every shop and every home has wreaths and candles on doors and in windows. It’s impossible not to notice what time of year it is.

When Joost comes knocking, all bundled and breathless and confused why you aren’t at the cafe, he can tell immediately that something is wrong. 

It’s a bad day, really no other way to put it. Today is your little sister’s birthday and for the third time ever, you won’t be there. 

She was a brat really, but you loved her and she is one of the few things that always makes you think of home.

That wasn’t true at first, when you spent the first few months missing all your friends and family something awful. But after you literally killed and ate someone, the fear of discovery and the fear of hurting them drove your travels farther and farther until before long, you felt like you were doing the right thing. 

Besides, the world was too big and too detailed to miss out on. Too vibrant in all of your new senses to spend your time sulking over what could never be. Most days now, home was just a passing thought.

Still, your sister never fully left your mind, and on this one day every year you have been gone, you can never help but let your mind drift over what is and what could have been. 

Joost can tell the second you open the door. You let him in without fuss, but when you answer his probing questions with little more than noncommittal grunts and squeeze him far too tight when he goes in for a hug, he starts to adjust his demeanor.

He follows you into the kitchen and you shut your laptop, still open with the work you had been using for distraction.

“So, you don’t usually pass up the gift of my presence, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I’m good. I just have a lot going on with work. Sorry I forgot to tell you I wasn’t gonna be there.”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

A pause.

“I've seen you stressed about work. Usually you’re asking me to help you find a file or proofread an email…”

“Yeah, okay, yeah. I’m a little distracted.”

“With what?”

“With-” you allow yourself to lean against him. He’s saddled up behind you as you finally come to a stop in the middle of the kitchen. His arms come around your waist and you let out a bone-rattling sigh.

There’s few places you’d rather be than in his arms, but the knowledge that even that is something you're still trying to allow yourself to have makes it hard for it to feel like a comfort right now.

“-with things at home. There are things I left behind that I can’t go back to.”

“You wish you could?”

“Sometimes.”

“You miss someone?”

“Yeah.” 

Fuck it. There’s so much you’ve already told him. Why not this.

“My sister.”

His grip relaxes slightly. You didn’t realize it had become tense. “Oh. I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Yeah.”

“I have a sister too. I don’t see her very often but it’s not because I can’t or anything. I don’t know what it would be like to not have the option.”

“Yeah.” You sniff. It seems to be the only thing you can say.

He squeezes you tight again when he hears it. “Wanna…talk about it?”

“No, not right now. I’ve been thinking about it all day and there’s nothing I can do so I might as well stop.”

“Okay. Wanna do something with me? Wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, how about Spiderman?” 

He knows you so well by now.

Joost coaxes you back to his apartment. Away from your work and to what you have to admit after many movie marathons is a home cinema setup superior to your own. The perfection of the couch-pillow-foot rest-cup holder placement leaves you unable to turn down the journey when the ride is only ten minutes.

Tonight, you watch Far From Home. Though you always cycle through the the Spiderman movies, it’s the one you saw with your friends the night you turned, and somehow it's the one you always come back to.

You’ve never told Joost you prefer it but he’s noticed anyway. Tonight, he pulls it out before you can ask.

By the time Peter Parker gets knocked out by Mysterio and accidentally arrives in the Netherlands via train, you're in Joost’s lap, clinging on with arms slung around his neck and face pressed into his chest, barely watching. Being sad does wonders for not being riled by his closeness. 

He holds you right back, hands at your waist, occasionally pressing light kisses to your hair as he comments on the inaccuracies of the movie’s Dutch portrayal.

“Y’know we do love soccer but honestly, no one is so super happy like this, especially not if you’re stuck in jail.”

You just hold him tighter. It’s been hours now in Joost’s presence and finally, you feel yourself unwinding. Just like always, Joost is the best distraction you’ve ever encountered. Your teeth itch of course, what with your face so close to his throat, but you ignore it so you can savor the feeling of him wrapped around you.

Joost is sweeter than you could have ever asked for. So often wants to know about your problems and offers up his time to solve them. Provides his presence and his affection when he can’t. 

Not that you have many problems. Your tech issues present the majority. 

Still, here and now, he's trying to fix everything just like he always does and it is with a deep shudder from yourself that he starts to rub your shoulders. His hands smooth down your back to your hips and back up again, reminiscent of the moments in front of cafes and shops where you always have your moment of initial acclimation.

Now, there is no pressure to the moment, no rush to get yourself under control. All you have to do is relax further into his hold and let his big hot hands melt sensation into your flesh. 

A sort of tingle accompanies his hands wherever they go. Up and down and up again. They knead at the muscles of your lower back before working their way up either side of your spine with gentle compressions of his knuckles. One big palm cups the back of your neck when his ministrations make it to the top and he takes a moment to inhale deeply from your hair.

The motions repeat over and over, up and down and back again. You would be letting him know exactly how much his efforts are appreciated if those efforts weren’t completely melting your mind.

Lingering in that liminal goo-brain space for what feels like hours, it occurs to you that every pass over your hips is gradually getting lower. Every time he works his way down your spine, his thick fingers splay just a little further over the swell of your ass.

You let him do it, fully on board with the feelings it’s inspiring in your core and too strung-out to think of why there might be any reason not to indulge. 

Before long, his hands are fully cupping your ass with every pass. Each time he spends a moment squeezing lightly before continuing the cycle. After a couple more circuits, he finally breaks the pattern and stops to hold each cheek in one huge hand, pulling back from your hair to make eye contact, asking silent permission.

You hold his gaze, unable to think further than the lazy, slow, creeping want he inspires. He made you so comfortable, so pliant and soft, why would you ever do anything other than what he wants?

You slump forward to mouth at his jaw, forgetting yourself, and his heart stutters.

His hands slide lower to the back of each thigh and his fingertips brush over your slit. It’s the first time he’s ever done anything quite so direct since that moment under the bridge and it makes you moan so loud that he pulls back once more to get a read on your face.

“Is this okay?”

“Mmm, yeah.” It’s hard to remember why such a question makes sense. His fingertips, so close to where you need them, make higher processes a herculean effort. Still, your brain is the stuff of legends, and you pull it together to consider what he means. 

“Fuck, uhhnh, gimme a sec.”

His hands don’t leave their precarious position, but make no further move. In the meantime, his mouth fills in the gap.

‘You know I bought something else. After the ball gag I mean. I was thinking handcuffs kinda do the same thing but, y’know, less drool.”

He smiles sheepishly.

“We don’t have to use them, I just wanted to tell you. It could keep your mouth away from me if I stayed down here.” he squeezes with both hands for emphasis.

“Oh.” With the strong departure from the sadness that had been consuming you and the reminder of all Joost represents, you are quickly coming back to awareness. Your gums ache in a way they haven’t for quite a while now, the tug behind your eyes making a return. “I- how would that work?”

“If I cuff you to the headboard and stay down here-”

Another squeeze for demonstrative purposes,

“-then your teeth will never come near me. We can’t kiss, after a point, but we can do other stuff. There are a lot of things I want to do to you.”

“Okay, I’m with you, but you would need like a steel headboard or something. I’ve seen the IKEA particle board slats you have going on.”

“I may have- uh, I may have bought that too.”

Oh he is a freak.

Your smile is all Joost needs to scramble to shut off the movie and scoop you up like it’s nothing, mouth on yours like a man starved. You cling to his shoulders as he slowly walks you back through the apartment. It’s a miracle you make it when he can’t be bothered to look where he’s going. 

Somehow, he neither bangs your elbow nor your knee on a door frame and all of a sudden the world shifts as you are deposited onto his bed with a bounce.

True to his word, it’s a new bed. Same dark blue comforter and faded Minecraft bed sheets but a new frame with solid metal bars. He lets you look while he fiddles with something on the bookshelf before turning back to you with a ‘clink’. 

The handcuffs, equally metal and solid, glint in the low light of his bedroom. You’ve never been into bondage per se, but just about anything Joost wants, you find yourself wanting too.

His enthusiasm never gets old. Even if the bed and the cuffs are just a means to an end, Joost picked them out for you, he picked them out and bought them because after all this time dancing around each other, he still wants to fuck you so badly. 

The tug behind your eyes is irresistible like never before. This time, you don’t fight it.

Joost takes you in, eyes wide and wanton, fixed on your own dark pools. He gives a shuddering sigh and unclicks the cuffs. “Oh, liefje, let’s start with this.”

The simple endearment used for the first time short-circuits any intelligent response. There are no words. You scoot up the bed, overcome by the word still bouncing around your skull and the hunger evident in his scent.

Laying back slowly, you lift your arms above your head as he crawls over you. 

Something about the position feels a little strange, but the thought leaves as quickly as it came when you’re distracted by cold metal clicking into place. He adjusts the cuffs gently, one on each wrist with the chain hooked around a thick steel post of the headboard. A good tug proves them to be durable and Joost lets out a breath you didn’t know he had been holding. 

Though the bedside lamp is dim, the blue of his eyes practically glows as he removes his glasses and lays them on the nightstand to admire what’s laid out before him.

It’s obvious all too soon that there are drawbacks to the position. You can’t lean up to kiss him, at least not much, can’t reach out to touch him and tuck a bright blond strand behind his ear or cup a cheek and trace his pouty bottom lip.

You need to, if you're being honest. Need to touch him and hold him and kiss him and tell him there is no one else you would ever want to do this with.

You don’t even know what that means, since there haven’t exactly been other options, but you know it’s true. 

Joost watches your squirming with increasing amusement as you test the limits of your bonds. Finally, mercifully, he parts your thighs and presses flush against you to capture your mouth. Your legs wrap around him immediately, holding him the only way you can. His scent is just as potent as it was that night under the bridge and quickly becoming stronger. It’s a good thing you’re cuffed because your willpower is already softening.

As overwhelmed as you are already, your teeth haven't dropped yet and you're thankful as he all but steals the breath from you. The increasingly desperate press of your mouths is all that's keeping you from begging him to get on with it.

You never thought you would be one to beg, but here with Joost above you, presence all encompassing and hips slotted into the cradle of your own like he belongs there, you think you would.

In the end you don’t have to. Joost pulls away all too suddenly and the hands braced at either side of your head come down to toy at the hem of your shirt.

“Can I?”

“Please!”

The transparent need in your demand short-circuits him for a moment. He says nothing, huge pupils unblinking for several long seconds before they snap down to fix on the stripe of skin that gets wider and wider as tattooed fingers slowly peel the shirt up your stomach. It would have been smart to get undressed first, but you’re both a bit beyond reason and you do your best to help as he drags it up above your head to tangle around your wrists.

He pauses again to drink you in, more bare skin than he’s had the opportunity to see yet. So much of the past months has been little more than kisses. His hands trace their way back down, over your sternum and your belly, ignoring your bra for now, until they reach the hem of your lounge pants.

Joost doesn’t ask this time, just meets your eyes and takes the nod you give without words. He removes them much easier than the shirt and whips them away to land somewhere to be found later. Hot palms smooth up your thighs and a single finger hooks into the elastic waistband of your panties.

The whine you let out as soon as he does it sends him scrambling and they are quickly tossed away to join the pants. 

Huge hands brace themselves against your inner thighs and you're made to bend your knees up to accommodate. It spreads you wide, everything on display. It’s been so long since anyone has seen you like this it’s borderline embarrassing. The way his scent picks up and his pupils nearly eclipse their blue border makes it all worth it.

He crawls forward to give you a single deep kiss.

“All good?” He breathes against your lips.

“All good.”

He shuffles back down and starts laying more kisses against your inner thighs. 

You know exactly where this is going. 

Joost’s overture that day in the cafe never strays too far from your mind. If you were wet before, now you’re positively dripping. It starts to run down your ass and you wonder if he will notice, see your desperation made flesh.

It’s unlikely, what with the way his eyes are shut tight and his brow is slack with bliss. He’s getting exactly what he wants.

Joost laves a hot stripe over the skin closest to the junction of your thigh, pauses for one maddening moment, then turns to lick into where you need him most without warning. 

Your gasp is more of a shout.

He groans in response and hooks an arm around each thigh before you can squirm away, the wet, slippery friction on your clit so intense you almost try to. He starts out with deep, long licks directly over it before he goes anywhere else, straight to the punch without teasing.

After what feels like far too much and nowhere near enough, he gives one long lick through your folds and shifts his focus lower. He lingers over your entrance, the flat of his tongue seals tight to the rim, textured buds undulating against the delicate skin making you writhe. He does it again and again, taking breaks to pull back and run the tip around the edge, tracing and circling before latching to it yet again with a wet ‘smack’.

Normal breathing is becoming impossible and when your thighs have been tensed so long they start to shake, he dips it in. 

There’s no telling what undoubtedly guttural noise you make because you are too busy wrestling with the sensation of blood blooming across your tongue and iron filling your sinuses. Every teasing nudge inside your pussy sends your fangs digging deeper into your lip. 

The brief agitation from earlier has returned, but now you know what it is. There’s nothing actually wrong, it’s just so much harder to bite lying on your back. The urge you usually manage to suppress is now front and center of all thought. As always, pleasure seems inextricably tied to predation.

You need to pin Joost and bite him and feel him struggle but you also need his delicious weight on top of you and his hands around you and his tongue inside you and you can’t have both.

You feel insane.

Joost’s groans are heavy, the vibrations rolling through you as he lazily pumps his tongue deeper, nose grinding into your swollen clit. He settles into a pattern. Deep, languid tongue-fucking followed by licks to either sider of your bud, close but not close enough, before directly grinding the flat of his tongue into it a few times and then starting the process all over again. 

The cuffs are fighting a battle of their own above you. Every time Joost switches targets the headboard gives a heavy creak.

You hardly notice. It’s taking all your remaining brain power just to try not to squeeze him too hard with your thighs. Though, it might be okay since every time you do he lets out a groan, far too pleased for what is probably a legitimate threat to his skull.

Blood drips down your chin now, your canines deep in your bottom lip when you hear it:

A shuffle.

A rustle.

A slight sway to the mattress.

He takes your clit between his lips and sucks hard. The bedsprings give a pathetic wheeze as your head slams back and your spine arches as a squeal rips out of you. 

The rhythmic swaying picks up the pace.

When Joost finally gives you a second of reprieve to kiss at your thigh, hot heavy breaths fanning over you, the gentle swaying continues. Puzzled, you find the willpower to lift your head and shakily unlock your thighs from where they have become earmuffs.

It’s hard to place it at first, the incessant tongue back on your skin and sharp iron in your mouth more than distracting, but then you notice. 

Gently, 

slowly, 

almost tenderly, 

Joost’s hips roll down into the mattress.

It might be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

The way his brow has started to knit as he ruts instinctively, pleasure seeping up his spine as he gets off on your own. The way his hips jerk softly like he isn’t even aware, like his body is just making him do it. The way his sweats have slid down to reveal the dark material of his boxers, snug against the muscles of his ass that are working insistently. 

You can’t handle it. You have to do something, anything. Your hands whip down to bury your fingers in his hair as you grind up into his mouth and lose your mind.

Your fingers in…his hair?

He flinches. Makes a pathetic noise as he withdraws his tongue. The sudden hard stop to the blissful sensation all the more highlights the bright red sheeting from his brow.

In your pleasure, the cuffs ripped like paper. Both loops are still attached but the chain, now broken, swings freely from your right wrist, bloody from where it lanced him deep across the temple.

Oh.

Fuck.

Joost has never bled in front of you before. Not a single scratch or cut, not even a hangnail. 

It's like hearing colors or tasting music. Now that the source of his scent isn’t trapped under his skin, it is so much more potent than you could have ever prepared for. You could never have built a tolerance to this. 

The sudden certainty of a guaranteed meal, the knowledge that your strength is superior, that you've won, it overwhelms you in an instant and the sureness of it almost leaves you calm. You're going to get what you want. There's nothing that could possibly stop you. And why should it? 

The only thing that keeps you from destroying him on the spot is the look on his face.

It’s all happening within seconds. He’s still mid-recoil. His face screws up now that the pain is starting to register, blank confusion twisting to stricken agony. 

It’s nothing like you imagined. 

Those nights alone when you think about Joost and can’t quite control that deep, savage part of your mind, the part that's been there ever since you woke up bloody in the middle of the street all those years ago, you never imagined it like this.

That inhuman part of you was sure his pain would be something beautiful. Even if the logical majority of you protested, somewhere deep down, you always expected it to be true. 

Maybe it’s the added shock of the sudden blow, maybe it’s just the wrong kind of pain, but the hurt on his face is terrible.

Not pleasure-pain like when you press on a bruise you accidentally gave him the day before and he can’t help the way his eyelids flutter, not like when your sharp nails dig into his back when you go in for a kiss and he picks you up and you have to hold on tight as he groans into your mouth.

Just pain.

Your heart folds in.

You’re rolling off the bed and shooting to your feet before Joost can even look at you, too busy staring at the blood on his fingers as he draws them back from his forehead, shaking.

It’s physically painful to turn away. You grab your phone with enough force to rattle the night stand and make yourself walk towards the door. Every sense is cranked to eleven and every reflex and muscle fiber is dialed in, all strength and no precision as you work against your instincts. Every base impulse is screaming at you to turn back and take what is right in front of you.

There’s no running away this time, just brute force resistance.

There’s so much blood.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m gonna get someone, just stay there. Stay there.” The words are choked as you use every ounce of willpower to force yourself into the hall. You don’t know if he hears you and you can’t afford to look back to check.

His gasps of pain almost sound erotic now without the visual evidence of his suffering and it makes you want to turn around and devour him.

When you recognize the thought, you hate yourself just a little.

You wrestle into your long winter coat and manage not to break the front door as you unlock it. Joost calls out your name just before it slams shut behind you.

Outside in the cold, damp, wind whipped darkness, there is enough of a disconnect from what’s inside that you can feel control come back online. 

You want to run but you make yourself walk, thankful your coat covers your bare ass, as you prioritize sending a cryptic but detailed text to 112 and then dialing the one other person that can possibly help. Tantu answers on the third ring.

“Tantu. I need you to check on Joost. I need you to go over to his place right now and it can’t wait.”

“What? What do you mean? Did he call you?”

“No it’s- Tantu please just do it. Please. Will you check on him?”

“Yes, yeah, I will, what’s going on?”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes! I’m putting on my coat! Tell me what’s wrong!”

“Please hurry, Tantu.”

You hang up, cutting off what sounds like a curse. 

He’s a good friend, you can tell. It’s a good thing you have his number. You don’t know any of Joost’s other friends. Honestly, you barely know Tantu. Joost talks about them often and with love but you’ve just never met them. 

It’s mostly Joost’s efforts to try not to spook you, to ease you into knowing him without pressure. You let it slip once that you try not to make close connections for practical reasons and he let up on group invites quickly, if a little disappointed. Anything to keep you around and unwilling to gamble with being the exception.

The trill of your phone makes you slow once more. 

It’s Joost.

He’s okay. Okay enough to call at least. Hopefully emergency medical or Tantu gets there soon.

You don’t answer. You can’t.

Your phone continues to buzz as he calls again. 

And then again.

You wanted to see if this could work, whatever this is. It felt possible once. Felt like one day you would say yes to meeting his friends, like you would feel close enough to ask him about his past and maybe even tell him the full truth about yours, felt like one day you might finally adjust enough to be able to love him properly. 

Because you do love him. 

You’ve known it and denied it but you do.

You do and it didn't stop you. Such a small mistake, made so easily and unconsciously and almost the end of his life.

You love him and that’s why as you walk down the street, completely enveloped in abyssal shadow, no moon in sight, you know that when you get home you’re going to pack your things.

[e-dubbc11]

Such a Flirt

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F! Hunter Reader; supporting character Sam Winchester

Warnings: SMUT! (18+ please or I’m telling on you) fingering, oral, p in v protected sex (be safe out there everyone), couple of swear words, love confessions

Word Count: 3.3K-ish

Summary: Dean and Sam ask for your help getting information from a bartender at a local bar. You’re a smooth talker and can get info from anyone but Dean hates having to watch you flirt with handsome men.

A/N: Fair warning, there’s only a little plot with this one. I really just wanted to get to the smexy time. I had the strongest urge to write some smut for this smexy son of a bitch, I don’t know why but I’m just very much in love with all things Jensen Ackles right now(I’ve watched Tracker, My Bloody Valentine, and started watching season 3 of the Boys again plus random episodes of Supernatural) I can’t wait to meet him in October! I hope you like this one!

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

“Dude, why are you grinding your teeth like that?” Asked Sam.

Dean’s eyes were fixated on you as you flirted with the bartender. You were trying to see if he knew anything about a man who was in the bar a couple of days ago.

Later, the man couldn’t explain why he had beaten his girlfriend to death after being seen in the bar with a beautiful woman who was definitely NOT his girlfriend.

“Does she have to flirt so hard with that guy?!” Growled Dean. “He’s not even that good looking!”

Dean angrily took a sip of his beer and continued to watch you like a hawk.

Sam rolled his eyes, pressed his lips together in a straight line and tried to continue talking about the case with Dean but he was more interested in what you were saying to the bartender.

“She’s trying to get information for us, Dean. Relax.” Said Sam.

The boys didn’t always need a third “FBI agent.” Sometimes they just needed help getting information from the opposite sex. Men were a lot freer with their words with you rather than the “feds.”

You mostly hunted on your own but they would call you from time to time when they needed your…”wits,” so to speak. Plus, you liked to watch Dean struggle with his feelings for you and you very much liked him back but it was fun to make him jealous.

**********

Before leaving the bunker, you had asked, “What kinda bar is it?”

“What do you mean what kind? It’s a bar, y/n.” Answered Dean.

“Ok, I realize that, Dean but is it a biker bar, a country western bar, one that doesn’t have a theme? I need to know what kinda clothes to bring. I threw a whole bunch in my car, I’ll bring the one outfit I need, and pick up the rest back here before I head home.” You replied.

Sam was already on his laptop doing research so he did a quick search and found the bar’s website online.

“Looks like it’s quite the nice place, y/n. Reviews say it’s an after work hot spot for bankers, real estate brokers, professionals, etc.” Said Sam.

You replied, “Soooooo a little swanky, but don’t dress like a high end call girl, got it. You guys will fit in perfectly wearing your FED suits.”

You decided to go for the “classy attorney” look but without a blazer. A Kelly green fitted silk blouse, black wide-leg pants that had black studs on the seam, and black ankle boots. Your perfectly chosen outfit, paired with a black structured tote bag seemed like impeccable choices.

Eat your heart out, Dean Winchester.

While they were out eating lunch, you did your hair and makeup. You didn’t do this super girly stuff very often but you liked…feeling pretty. The times that the boys needed you to turn on the charm and bat your long lashes to get information, were really fun for you.

Drawing on your black winged eyeliner after having a little too much coffee proved to be difficult sometimes but you were a professional and could probably do it with your eyes closed if you needed to.

A medium tone matte eyeshadow and a bold lip completed the look while a strobe light like highlighter emphasized the high points of your face.

Satisfied with your look, you watched a little tv before changing clothes. They would be back soon to pick you up for drinks after they talked to the local cops.

While in the bathroom, you heard the door open and Dean called out to you.

“Y/n?! You better be ready; we gotta go!” Said Dean.

You emerged from the bathroom fully dressed with the exception of your shoes.

“Ok, ok keep your shirt on, Winchester. I just need my boots.” You replied.

After slipping into your boots, you picked up your bag and finally had a chance to look up. For once, Dean’s brow wasn’t furrowed and you could see his hypnotizing green eyes much better which caught you off guard.

“What is it? Do I have something on my pants?” You said, gazing down at your pants then turning in a circle with your head over your shoulder, trying to look at your own ass.

Dean was speechless and couldn’t get any words out so Sam answered as he tossed a burger at you, “Nope, all good. Let’s go. You can eat in the car.”

They walked up ahead as you locked the door behind you.

“Dude, what is wrong with you? You were staring at her.” Said Sam.

Dean replied, “She looks too good, Sam.”

“Can you wrestle with your feelings for her another time? She’s supposed to look nice.” Sam said.

Nervously, Dean whispered, “Well she’s distracting! And I don’t have THOSE kinds of feelings for her.”

“Whatever you say, dude.” Replied Sam with raised eyebrows.

You covered your mouth so they wouldn’t see you crack a smile.

While riding in the car, you leaned forward so the boys could hear you better. Making sure he could feel your breath on his ear, you said, “You two can go in first, have a seat, and I’ll make my way in after a few minutes. You can keep an eye on me as I walk up to the bar.”

A sly smirk stretched across your lips as you slinked back into your seat and looked at Dean in the rearview mirror, trying his hardest NOT to appear flustered but failing miserably.

You could have made it easy and told Dean how you felt about him but he deserved to be on the receiving end of the teasing. Women made it easy for him, just falling at his feet which meant he had his pick and he hated every time you teased him.

And now, drinking at the corner of the bar, you could feel him burning a hole in your head with his angry stare. It appeared that Dean couldn’t take just sitting there anymore. Sam tried to grab hold of his jacket but he missed and Dean started to walk over to the bar when the bartender walked away to wait on someone else.

“I’m getting some good stuff, Dean. Get outta here!” You whisper yelled at him without looking and without drawing attention to yourself.

He nonchalantly whisper yelled back at you, “You’re being a little TOO friendly with him, don’t ya think?”

“I’m perfectly capable of weaseling information out of a dumb bartender. Now get outta here before I kick your ass all over this bar!” You growled.

“Need something, friend?” The bartender asked Dean.

A tad flustered, Dean replied with a narrowed expression, “Two more beers, buddy. Thanks.”

You got what you needed from the bartender and after another hour or so, you paid for your drinks and left. Dean and Sam followed you out a handful of minutes later.

“Can we get pizza?” You asked.

Dean was always in a better mood if he was fed properly so as a peace offering, you bought pizza on the way back to the motel. And of course, Dean picked up more beer.

Settling in with your dinner, you told them everything Jeremy, the bartender, told you about what he witnessed.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn’t know the two of you were on a first name basis.” Said Dean.

You rolled your eyes.

“Will you let me finish, please!?” You asked.

“Dean…let her finish. Come on.” Said Sam.

Dean continued to pace back and forth while you talked.

“…So the woman that he left with, Jeremy had never seen before. And this guy hung on her every word, gazed at her like she hung the moon, she said all the right things. Almost like he was legit under a spell or something.” You finished.

Sam had his laptop open. His fingers swiftly typed words into the search engine and he then flipped the screen around to show you and Dean what he found.

“I think we might be dealing with another siren.” Said Sam, confidently. “Two other women were murdered by husbands or boyfriends after encounters with beautiful women at that bar. Sirens need love and they compel people to kill to show devotion to them.” He turned to Dean. “Remember that one we dealt with before? The time where we were trying to kill each other?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I remember. I try not to though.”

Preoccupied with Dean’s eyes, they had darkened a little to match better with the green shirt you had on, you covered your infatuation by pushing the chair across from you out from under the table.

“Take a load off, tiger. You’re makin’ me nervous with all this pacin’ around you’re doin’.” You said in between bites of pizza.

The Winchester brothers were your second family and you knew them well, especially Dean so you knew when something was really bothering him. And right now, something was definitely bothering him.

Sam’s face was buried in his laptop, it was quiet in the room except for the sounds of fingers moving across a keyboard, and the tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Something about you being there was keeping Dean on edge so you finally decided to break the silence.

“Dean? Come on. What is it? You’re being extra grouchy right now, so grouchy that pizza couldn’t fix it. Ever since I walked outta the bathroom earlier, you’ve been short with me.” You said, calmly.

He pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead and traced the outside of his lips with his thumb and forefinger before narrowing his eyes at you.

You knew that look. The look of an extremely handsome literal green-eyed monster glaring at you from across the table. Dean was close to blowing a gasket.

He pointed at you and in his low gravelly voice said, “I don’t like it when you flirt with other men. There! I said it, ok!? You happy!?”

In one fluid motion, Sam closed his laptop, grabbed the keys to the car and said, “I’m gonna go talk to the cops again. Lemme know when you two work THIS out.”

You started to say, “O-ok, well just be—“

“Yep, I’ll be careful. I know what to look for. I’ll see ya guys later.” Said Sam.

The door closed behind him, the Impala roared to life, and Sam drove off, leaving you and Dean alone in the motel room.

“Well that was weird. Anyway…Dean, I’m just doing what you guys asked me to do! You needed me to get information, so I turned on my charm and I got what we needed just like any other time you’ve needed me for something like this!” You said with a raised voice.

Dean stood up from the table and loosened his tie a little. Unbuttoning the top button on his dress shirt, he didn’t take his gaze away from you.

“You don’t have to be THAT good, ya know! They eat it up every single time! Lemme ask you this…did that Jeremy guy ask for your number?”

Seeing Dean this upset made you think that he didn’t just have a little crush on you.

Feeling a little warm, you unbuttoned a couple of buttons on your blouse and stood up also. You were reluctant to answer him but finally said softly, “Yes, he did.”

“HA! I fuckin’ knew it! They always do and did you give it to him?” Asked Dean.

You started to answer before he interrupted you, “Dean…”

“Did you!?” He asked again.

Not wanting to confess your feelings first, you tried to stall.

“No, I didn’t!” You shouted.

The table was in between the two of you. Both of you were breathing heavily, your jawlines tight with anger and frustration, and the sound of your heart beating inside your chest was deafening.

“Oh yeah?! And why should I believe you, y/n?!” Dean growled.

“I’ve never given any of them my number, Dean! Not a single one!” You bellowed.

His expression softened as he asked, “Well…why not?”

After a long day, you couldn’t help but collapse onto the bed. You allowed your legs to give out and sat down on the edge of the mattress before answering him.

“Why do you think, ya big dumb animal?! Because the only guy's number I want in my phone is yours, Dean! And Sam’s but for different reasons. You know what I’m trying to say, stop looking at me like that.” You said, nervously.

He walked around the table, gazed down at you with his beautiful green eyes, they were the color of fresh blades of grass, and leaned over to inch his face closer to yours. The sprinkling of freckles across his nose was so youthful and adorable. You swallowed hard as you felt his breath against your eyelashes.

“And why do you think I get the way that I do when I see you flirt with other guys? You know why, don’t you sweetheart.” He said, melodiously.

Dean’s lips were ghosting over yours. You were silently begging him to just kiss you and kiss you hard. All the tension that had been building over the years was coming to a head right now. His tie dangled down from around his neck, you were dying to just pull him on top of you and find out what he tastes like…all of him.

“Because you want me as much as I want you?” You replied, gently touching his tie.

Still holding his tie, you inched yourself up toward the headboard. Dean followed your lead as you removed his tie and began to unbutton his dress shirt.

“I want you more.” He purred into your ear before his perfect lips crashed onto yours.

Dean covered your mouth with his own, devouring you with every kiss he placed on your lips, neck and jaw. You won the fight to be on top, although you were sure he let you win, and you continued to unbutton his shirt while he grasped clumsily at the buttons on yours.

They were small so he was having a hard time with them until you stepped in.

“I’ll do them, baby.” You whispered as he haphazardly tossed his clothes to the side.

You stood up and let your pants fall to your ankles while you finished unbuttoning your silk shirt. His desire for you was very apparent by the large tent in his boxers that you felt against your core as soon as you straddled him. The bottom of the shirt brushed against his thighs and goosebumps peppered across his skin.

You decided to let him finish undressing you.

Dean’s hands gently pushed your shirt off of your shoulders and all that was left was the black lace bra that was barely containing your breasts that he could not wait to get you out of. The man was a pro at unhooking your bra with one hand. If you didn’t want him so badly, you would have stopped to give him shit for it.

He lightly nipped the skin down the side of your neck, making you gasp when he got to the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. You felt like you could have come just by him biting down on that sweet spot. The growing ache between your thighs was torture and you desperately wanted him to touch you.

Like he read your mind, his strong hands migrated from your breasts down to your waist. Reaching in between your thighs, Dean teased your entrance with one finger, then slid another inside with ease.

“You’re soaked, sweetheart.” He whispered as a strangled moan escaped your lips.

To suffocate your screams, you bit down on your lower lip as he continued to move his talented fingers, hooking them in just the right spot to make you see stars, and drew circles on your clit to really tease you.

“Dean!” You pleaded, just before you hit your peak and tightly clenched around his fingers.

“You can be loud, baby. These kinds of places are used to noises like that, if ya know what I mean.” He said with a wink and a smirk.

You smiled back, pressed your lips to his, and lightly bit down on his bottom lip before starting to pepper kisses down his chest.

After pulling down his boxers, you took him into your mouth. A deep guttural moan and words of praise fled from Dean’s lips when your tongue circled the underside. That made him draw in a sharp breath as his fingers tangled in your hair.

“Fuck, that feels good, sweetheart.” He hissed and mumbled something else incoherently.

Crawling up his body, he slipped on a condom and then as you straddled him, you replied, “My mouth isn’t just for flirting, Dean.”

He slid into you with ease, burying himself to the hilt, causing you both to gasp before he cut your moan short with a hard kiss. You circled your hips slowly, allowing him to go deeper inside you, and it sent sharp tingles down your spine.

You pulled him in close as your walls began to tighten around him, clinging to him like your life depended on it with your climax starting to build.

Dean’s body was a warm cradle for yours as his fast abrupt strokes were about to send you over the edge and fast. But he loved to look at you so he pulled away slightly and watched your pleasure surge through you.

As you were riding out one orgasm, Dean managed to pull another one from you as you loudly called out his name like no one else was around which made him feral.

His movements became faster, more brutal, pulling out of you just so he could slam into you again and again as his body went rigid underneath you. Crushing your waist, his arms were wrapped around you so tightly that all of the air escaped your lungs.

His release came hard and fast, followed by a strangled moan while your bodies trembled from overstimulation. Dean’s eyes were wide and unfocused as he tried to catch his breath while you leaned in for a gentle kiss and let your fingers glide through his soft brown hair.

Collapsing on top of him, you smiled against his chest as his fingers tickled the outside of your arm and the only thing you could hear was Dean’s heart beating rapidly against your ear.

Trying to get your breathing under control, you covered yourself with the sheet and finally managed to ask, “So…does this mean you don’t want me to flirt for information anymore?”

Dean kissed the top of your head and replied, “As long as you come home with me, I’ll allow it.”

“ALLOW IT?! You’re not the boss of me, Winchester.” You said, sarcastically.

He licked his lips as you looked up at him through your long dark lashes.

In barely more than a whisper, he said, “Well what if I told you you’re really pretty and that I might be…in love with you?”

“Awww…you’re really pretty too!” You said, jokingly.

Dean rolled his eyes, “Alright, I’m tryin’ to—“

Wrapped up in the sheet, you sat upright, cupped his cheeks and pressed your lips to his, your tongue slipped into his mouth to tangle with his as a low growl escaped his lips.

“I might be in love with you too.” You whispered against his mouth.

Chasing each other’s smiles, he continued to kiss you until you heard a key in the door. Sam walked in, took one look at the two of you and without missing a beat said, “Oh good, you two worked it out. So I was thinking, I might know who—“

He stopped, looked at the two of you and shouted, “Guys…that’s MY bed!!”

You and Dean started to laugh.

Oops.

Tag List: @munsonownsmyass @gijos @stoneyggirl2 @vaguekayla

Others that might enjoy: @k-marzolf @jvanilly @fluffyprettykitty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @deans-spinster-witch @savorxe

If you would like to be added to(or removed from) my tag list(s) for this smexy Winchester, just let me know!

[octaneink]

Could you do some dating willne headcannons or some willne smut but like in an established relationship? I’m obsessed with your fics, I swear I’ve read them so much I could recite them from memory 😭😭

Ahhh thank you so much for the kind words! I'm really happy that you like what I've written. I've never done headcannons or write smut lol so bear with me. I don't really know how to write smut ngl so I hope you like the spice (I think thats spicy? I don't know) at the end, I've never really written anything lke that before so I hope its...realistic?

Warning for some steamy stuff at the end!

Dating Will Lenney Headcanons

Playful Banter

In your relationship with Will, playful banter is the base of your dynamic, and he uses it to keep things light, fun, and endlessly entertaining. Whether you’re curled up on the couch, out for a walk, or in the middle of a mundane task, Will’s teasing is a constant—a reminder of how much he adores you.

He’s the kind of person who can’t resist poking fun at your quirks, but it’s always done with so much affection that it never feels mean-spirited. For example, if you’re watching one of your favourite romantic series for the hundredth time, he’ll lean over with a smirk and say, “Oh, this again? Let me guess—they’ll hate each other, then fall in love, and you’ll cry even though you know exactly how it ends.” But then he’ll stay right there beside you, secretly enjoying how much you love it—and secretly enjoying the series himself. He’d never admit it out loud, but he’s grown fond of the predictable charm of your go-to media.

Will’s teasing isn’t just one-sided, though. I think he’d love it if you gave as good as you get. If you catch him singing off-key in the shower, you’ll absolutely call him out on it. “Wow, I didn’t know cats could sing opera,” or something, and he’ll laugh so hard he almost slips. Or if he’s trying to fix something around the house, and it goes wrong, you’ll be there with a camera and a sarcastic comment like, “Handyman of the year, everyone.” He’ll pretend to be offended, but the twinkle in his eyes gives him away.

The best part is how his teasing always comes with an undercurrent of love. He’ll joke about your “weirdly specific and unnecessarily complex” coffee order, but he’ll still remember it perfectly and surprise you with it on a rough day. And if anyone else dares to tease you, he’s quick to jump to your defence, proving that his playful jabs are reserved for him alone.

Your banter becomes a language of its own—a way to say “I love you” without actually saying it. It’s in the way he grins when you roll your eyes at his jokes, the way he nudges you gently when you’re being stubborn. The way he always knows exactly how to make you laugh, even on your worst days. With Will, every day feels like a game, and you’re both winning.

Supportive Partner

In your relationship with Will, his unwavering support is one of the things you cherish most. He’s not just your partner—he’s your biggest cheerleader, your hype man, and your safe haven all rolled into one. No matter what you’re going through, whether it’s chasing a dream, tackling a new challenge, or just having a rough day, Will is always there to lift you up and remind you of your worth.

When you decide to try something new—whether it’s skating, learning an instrument, or even something as simple as baking a complicated recipe—Will will be the first to encourage you. He’ll sit with you while you practice, offering gentle advice when you ask for it and cheering you on even when you feel like giving up. “You’re a natural,” he’ll say, even if your first attempt at playing the guitar sounds more like a cat in distress. “Seriously, I’ve never heard anyone make that chord sound so… unique.” His teasing is always light-hearted, but it’s paired with genuine admiration for your willingness to try. And when you finally nail it? He’s beaming with pride, as if you’ve just won a Grammy. “Told you! I knew you could do it. Now play it again—I need this on video for when you’re famous.”

On tough days, Will’s support is a quiet, steady force. He has an uncanny ability to sense when you’re feeling down, even if you try to hide it. Without a word, he’ll wrap you in a hug, press a kiss to your forehead, and say, “Talk to me.” And when you do, he listens—actually listens. He doesn’t try to fix everything (unless you ask him to), but he’ll remind you of your strength and resilience. “You’ve got this,” he’ll say, his voice firm but gentle. “And even if you don’t feel like you do, I’ve got you. Always.”

Will’s encouragement isn’t just reserved for big moments, either. He celebrates the small victories with just as much enthusiasm. Did you survive a particularly gruelling day at work? He’ll show up with your favourite takeout and a movie, ready to pamper you. “You’re a rock star, and rock stars deserve the VIP treatment.”

But what makes Will’s support so special is how deeply personal it is. He pays attention to the little things—your favourite comfort foods, the way you light up when you talk about your passions. He knows when you need a pep talk, when you need a distraction, and when you just need someone to sit with you in silence. And he’s always there, without fail.

His belief in you is unshakeable. Even when you doubt yourself, he’s there to remind you of all the reasons you shouldn’t. “You’re brilliant, you’re kind, and you’re capable of anything you set your mind to,” he’ll say, his tone leaving no room for argument. “And if anyone says otherwise, they’ll have to deal with me.”

With Will by your side, you feel invincible. His support isn’t just words—it’s in the way he shows up for you, day after day, in big ways and small. He’s your partner, your teammate, and your biggest fan. And no matter what life throws your way, you know you’ll always have him in your corner, cheering you on every step of the way.

Car Rides

Car rides with Will are an experience in themselves. He’s always the one behind the wheel, and you’re perfectly content being his passenger princess. With you who's in control of the music, and you take full advantage of it. Whether you’re in the mood for girly pop, rock and roll, Afrobeats, jungle, reggae, or even a random playlist of your favourite guilty pleasures, Will never complains. He embraces it, turning every drive into a mini concert filled with laughter and the occasional side-eye from strangers at traffic lights.

You love how he lets you take charge of the aux, trusting your musical instincts even when your choices are… questionable. One day, you might blast upbeat pop anthems, singing at the top of your lungs as he chuckles beside you. “Okay, but why do I lowkey know all the words to this?” he’ll say, pretending to be embarrassed before joining in on the chorus. Another day, you might switch it up with some smooth reggae or high-energy Afrobeats, and he’ll bob his head along, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the rhythm. “You’ve got good taste, I’ll give you that,” he’ll tease, even if he’s secretly adding some of your songs to his own playlist.

The best moments are when you both get so into the music that you forget the world around you. You’ll be belting out a duet to some cheesy love song, completely off-key but having the time of your lives, when you catch people in the next car staring at you. Will, never one to back down from a bit of fun, will roll down the window and shout, “What? Never seen a Grammy-winning performance before?” before bursting into laughter and speeding off when the light turns green.

Long drives are your favourite. Whether it’s a road trip to somewhere new or just a leisurely cruise around town, the car becomes your little bubble of happiness. You’ll pack snacks, throw a blanket in the backseat just in case, and let the music set the mood. Will’s driving is smooth and confident, and you love how he occasionally reaches over to hold your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as he focuses on the road. “You good over there, princess?” he’ll ask, glancing at you with a smile. And you’ll nod, feeling completely at ease because, with him, even the simplest moments feel special.

Sometimes, the drives are quiet, the music playing softly in the background as you both enjoy the comfortable silence. Other times, they’re filled with lively conversations, random debates, or Will’s hilarious commentary on whatever’s happening outside. “Did that guy just try to parallel park in one go? Bold move,” he’ll say, shaking his head in mock disbelief. Or, “That billboard says ‘World’s Best Coffee.’ Challenge accepted.” And just like that, you’re pulling into a random café to test their claim, laughing the entire time.

But no matter where you’re going or what you’re listening to, the car rides always feel like yours. It’s your space to be silly, to be serious, to be yourselves. And Will wouldn’t have it any other way.

Protective Side

Beneath Will’s laid-back, easygoing exterior I see lies a fiercely protective streak, especially when it comes to you. While he’s usually the type to brush things off with a joke or a sarcastic remark, the moment someone disrespects you or crosses a line, his playful demeanour is gone.

Will’s protectiveness isn’t the loud, over-the-top kind. It’s subtle but firm. He’s the type to notice things others might miss—a snide comment, a dismissive tone, or even a lingering look that makes you uncomfortable. And while he might not always call it out immediately (he prefers to gauge how you feel about it first), he’s always ready to step in at the moment you need him.

Like if someone makes a backhanded comment about you in a social setting, Will’s response is sharp but calculated. He’ll tilt his head, feigning confusion, and say something like, “Oh, I’m sorry—did you mean to say that out loud? Because it sounded like utter bullshit.” His tone is light, almost playful, but there’s an edge to it that makes it clear he’s not joking. And if the person tries to laugh it off or double down, he’ll hit them with a perfectly timed quip that leaves them speechless.

But it’s not just about witty comebacks. If someone genuinely hurts you—whether it’s a friend, a coworker, or even a stranger—he’s quick to reassure you that their behaviour says more about them than it does about you. “Anyone who can’t see how amazing you are doesn’t deserve a second of your time,” he’ll say, his voice soft but firm.

What makes Will’s protectiveness so endearing is how he balances it with respect for your independence. He never tries to fight your battles for you unless you ask him to. Instead, he understands that you can stand up for yourself and is often there offering quiet support and encouragement. “You don’t need me to defend you,” he’ll say with a grin. “You’re perfectly capable of putting people in their place. But just in case, I’ll be right here, ready to back you up.” (definitely would hold your earrings and purse if you were to scrap with someone)

And when it comes to physical safety, Will’s protective instincts kick into overdrive. If you’re walking home late at night, he’ll insist on accompanying you, even if it’s out of his way. If you’re feeling uneasy in a crowded place, he’ll subtly position himself between you and whatever—or whoever—is making you uncomfortable. And if anyone dares to threaten you, his calm, sarcastic facade drops entirely. He becomes a force to be reckoned with, his voice low and steady as he says, “You have one more chance to apologise and walk away before this gets ugly.”

With him by your side, you feel safe, cherished, and fiercely defended. And while you might not always need his protection, it’s comforting to know that, no matter what, Will will always have your back.

Surprise Dates

Between his busy schedule and the demands of everyday life, you make it a point to plan dates that are thoughtful, fun, and meaningful. You’ve made it a tradition to try something new at least once a month, while the other dates revolve around activities you both love. Whether it’s a spontaneous road trip, a nostalgic arcade night, or a fancy dinner at a place he’s been wanting to try, you always find ways to make him feel special—and he absolutely adores it.

You know how much Will appreciates surprises, so you’ve become a master at planning ahead. You keep a mental (or physical) list of things he mentions in passing—like a new restaurant he wants to check out, a movie he’s excited to see, or a place he’s always wanted to visit. Then, when the time is right, you spring the surprise on him. His face lights up every time, and the way he grins when he realises what you’ve planned is worth every bit of effort.

Another month, you might plan a random road trip to a nearby town neither of you has explored. You’ll pack a picnic, create a playlist of his favourite songs, and let him take the wheel. The excitement in his eyes when he realises where you’re headed is priceless. “You’re seriously the best,” he’ll say, squeezing your hand as he starts the car. Along the way, he’ll take detours to roadside attractions, insisting on stopping for silly photo ops and spontaneous adventures. “Look at this place!” he’ll exclaim, pulling over at a giant dinosaur statue or a retro diner. “We have to take a picture. This is peak road trip material.” And of course, you’ll oblige, laughing as he strikes ridiculous poses and insists on making the memories as over-the-top as possible (though he takes cute couple pictures as well).

And then there are the fancy dates—the ones where you pull out all the stops. You’ll book a table at that upscale restaurant he’s been talking about for weeks, or you’ll surprise him with tickets to a show or event he’s been dying to see. On those nights, you love seeing him dressed up, his usual casual vibe swapped for something more polished. “Look at you, all fancy,” you’ll tease, and he’ll shoot back with a smirk, “What can I say? I clean up nice. But not as nice as you.”

What makes these dates so special is how much thought you put into them. You know how busy Will’s schedule can be, so you always plan ahead to make sure the timing works. You’ll coordinate with his friends or coworkers if needed, and you’re not above bribing them with coffee or baked goods to keep the surprise under wraps. And when the day finally arrives, you love seeing the look on his face. “You planned all this for me?” he’ll ask, his voice soft with disbelief. “Of course I did,” you’ll reply, smiling. “You deserve it.”

But it’s not just about the big surprises. You also make time for the little things—like cosy movie nights at home, complete with his favourite snacks and a blanket fort, or lazy Sunday mornings where you cook breakfast together and spend hours talking and laughing. Those moments are just as important, and they remind you both why you fell in love in the first place.

With every date, whether big or small, you show Will how much he means to you. And in return, he makes sure you know how much he appreciates it. “You’re incredible, you know that?” he’ll say, pulling you close after a particularly memorable outing. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m not letting you go.” And as you smile up at him, you know that these moments—these carefully planned, perfectly executed surprises—are what make your relationship so special.

Social Media PDA

I think Will is the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve, and that extends to his social media presence. While he respects your desire to keep a low profile due to your job, he’s not shy about showing the world how much he adores you. His Instagram is a mix of his work, his hobbies, and, of course, glimpses of your relationship. He’s the type to post pictures of the two of you without a second thought, whether it’s a candid shot of you laughing at something he said or a cosy selfie from a date night. Or a goofy photo of you both making faces at the camera.

His captions are always playful and affectionate. “Caught this one mid-laugh. Guess I’m funnier than I thought” or “Date night with my favourite person. Don’t worry, I’ll bring her back in one piece.”. The comments are always flooded with fans gushing over how cute you two are together, and Will loves reading them, often showing you the funniest or sweetest ones with a proud grin. “Look, they’re saying we’re goals. Can’t argue with that.”

But it’s not just the photos. You occasionally pop up in the background of his videos, whether it’s a behind-the-scenes clip from one of his projects or a casual vlog. Sometimes it’s just your hand in the frame as you pass him a coffee, or your voice chiming in with a sarcastic comment that makes him burst out laughing. Fans have come to love these little moments, dubbing them “crumbs” and saying that they’re being “fed” whenever you make an appearance. “We see you back there!” they’ll comment, or “The way he looks at her when she talks… I can’t. 😭”

Will finds the whole thing hilarious and endearing. He loves how much his fans adore you, even though you’re not in the spotlight yourself. “They’re obsessed with you,” he’ll say, scrolling through the comments. “Can’t blame them, though. I’m obsessed with you too.” And while you prefer to stay out of the public eye, you can’t help but smile at the way he proudly includes you in his world, even if it’s just in small, subtle ways.

There are times when he’ll sneak in a little more PDA than usual, just to mess with you. Like the time he posted a video of the two of you cooking together, and he casually dropped a kiss on your forehead mid-sentence. The internet went wild, and you playfully scolded him for it later. “You’re such a show-off,” you said, and he just shrugged, grinning. “What can I say? I like showing the world how lucky I am.”

Despite his public displays of affection, Will is careful to respect your boundaries. He never shares anything too personal or invasive, and he always checks with you before posting something that features you prominently. “You good with this?” he’ll ask, showing you a photo or video before hitting post. And if you ever say no, he doesn’t hesitate to scrap it, no questions asked. “Your comfort comes first,” he’ll say, and it’s one of the many reasons you love him.

For Will, it’s simple: he’s proud of you, proud of your relationship, and he wants the world to know it. And even though you prefer to stay behind the scenes, you can’t help but feel a little flutter of happiness every time you see one of his posts and realise, all over again, just how much he loves you.

Spicy Headcanons

Rough or soft?

Will is the kind of partner who knows exactly what you need, even before you do. Whether it’s a night of tender affection or one where he pushes you to the edge, he always makes sure you feel safe, cherished, and utterly consumed by him.

Soft Moments

When the mood calls for softness, Will is all about making you feel adored. He’ll take his time, his touches gentle and deliberate, as if he’s memorising every inch of you. His kisses are slow and sweet, starting at your lips and trailing down your neck, your collarbone, and everywhere else he knows you love to be touched.

“You’re so beautiful,” he’ll murmur against your skin, his voice a low, soothing rumble that makes your heart swell. “I could spend forever like this, just you and me.” His hands will roam your body with reverence, tracing patterns that leave you shivering. He’ll whisper praise in your ear, telling you how perfect you are, how much he loves the way you respond to him, and how lucky he feels to have you in his arms.

These are the moments where he’s all about you—your pleasure, your comfort, your happiness. He’ll hold you close afterward, his fingers brushing through your hair as he presses soft kisses to your forehead. “You’re my everything,” he’ll say, and you’ll believe him, because in those moments, nothing else exists but the two of you.

Rough Moments

But then there are the nights when Will’s more dominant side takes over. It’s not about anger or frustration—it’s about trust, about pushing boundaries, and exploring the raw connection between you. On these nights, he’s in complete control, and he knows exactly how to make you unravel.

He’ll start slow, his touch firm but teasing, building you up until you’re trembling with need. But just when you’re about to tip over the edge, he’ll pull back, his grip tightening in your hair as he forces you to meet his gaze. “Not yet,” he’ll say, his commanding voice sending a thrill down your spine. “You don’t get to cum until I say so.”

He’ll edge you relentlessly, his hands and mouth working you to the brink over and over again until you’re a writhing, desperate mess. Tears might prick at the corners of your eyes, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you beg him for release. But he won’t give in—not until he’s sure you’ve reached your limit. “You can take it,” he’ll say, his tone equal parts challenge and reassurance. “I know you can.” Of course, you can; you haven’t said the safe word yet.

Foreplay

Will is the kind of man who takes his time, savouring every moment of intimacy with you. He’s not just interested in the end goal—he’s obsessed with the journey, with the way he can make you unravel under his touch. For Will, foreplay is an art form, and you are his masterpiece. He loves watching you moan, squirm, and barely hold onto yourself, knowing he’s the one driving you to the edge.

It starts with his hands, always so deliberate and sure. He’ll trace patterns along your skin, his fingertips leaving trails of fire in their wake. He loves the way you shiver under his touch, the way your breath hitches when he finds that one spot that makes you gasp. “You’re so sensitive,” he’ll murmur, the tone of his voice sends shivers down your spine. “I love how you react to me.”

His mouth. Damn his mouth. He’ll press kisses along your neck, your collarbone, your stomach—everywhere but where you want him most, just to tease you. “Will,” you’ll whine, your hands tangling in his hair, and he’ll chuckle against your skin, the vibration making you squirm. “Patience, love,” he’ll say, his lips curving into a smirk. “I’m not done with you yet.”

When he finally does give you what you want, it’s with a slow, deliberate intensity that leaves you breathless. He’ll watch you as he works, his eyes dark with desire, drinking in every moan, every whimper, every desperate plea for more. “You’re so beautiful like this,” he’ll say, his voice rough with need. “I could watch you fall apart all day.”

But Will isn’t just about physical touch—he’s a master of words, too. He’ll whisper filthily sweet nothings in your ear, his voice a mix of praise and promise. “You take me so well,” he’ll say, his breath hot against your skin. “I love how you sound, how you feel, how you’re all mine.” His words are like a drug, intoxicating and addictive, and they only make you want him more.

By the time he’s done with you, you’re a trembling, incoherent mess, barely able to form a sentence. But Will isn’t satisfied until he’s sure you’re completely undone. “Not yet,” he’ll say, his hands and mouth working in tandem to push you even further. “I want to hear you beg.”

I hope people don't mind that I only wrote two spicy scenes. Sorry, I kinda ran out of ideas lol. Anyways… how did people like the headcannons? These are headcannons right?

[oya-oya-okay]

WhatwhaWHAAATTTT WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE!?!?!?!🤯😭😭😭💖💗💖💗💖💗💖❤️

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KINDNESS OMG!! 😭💗❤️❤️💕❤️💘❤️❤️💕💕❤️ I don't even seem to understand!?!? Do I look like this from the outside?!😭😭😭

THANK YOU VERY MUCHHH💓💖💥❤️💘

EVERYONE IS SO KIND AND ATTENTIVE TO ME AND THEY CONSTANTLY ENCOURAGE AND SUPPORT ME..😭💗💘💦💘💦💘💦💘💦💘 I'M EVEN A LITTLE EMBARRASSED EHWHWHWHHW❤️❤️❤️ YOURE SOO SWEEETTTT💖💥💖💥💓💥

I'm sorry if I'm being kind of strict or depressive, I've been having a lot of problems in my life lately🙄 BUT IT'S BETTER TO START AT LEAST EASIER TO DRAW!! YOU'RE RIGHT❤️💗❤️💗❤️💗

THANK YOU VERY MUCH AGAIN!✊💖💓💗💖💕💖💘

AzuRid — AU!!! ❤️🖤✨ Probably 1 part?

[solarmorrigan]

11 & 17 Robin and Steve? Maybe something where one of them thinks they're back under Starcourt for a second 😈

Ask and ye shall receive (like, eventually. this is so late, I'm sorry)

11. Disoriented + 17. Delirious - Robin & Steve

-

Robin pulls her hand back from Steve’s forehead with a hiss. He’s burning up.

She knew this would happen. She knew it.

She should have argued harder to get Steve to go to the hospital. She should have taken one look at him rebandaging his bat bites, which were still bleeding (“Relax,” Steve had said. “They only bleed when I move around too much.”), and called in reinforcements. She shouldn’t have taken no for an answer.

Instead, she’d caved under Steve’s stubborn refusals, under his pleading stare, under his insistence that he’d always taken care of himself and that he would be fine. And now–

“Steve?” Robin tries, patting his cheek.

Steve mumbles something, brows furrowing, but he doesn’t open his eyes. His cheeks are pink, the rest of his face pale, his bangs sticking up at odd angles after being plastered to his forehead with sweat before Robin had pushed them back – he looks fucking awful.

He mumbles again when Robin swears and pulls the sheets down around his hips so she can get at his bandages. They look clean, but when she presses a hand to his side, she can feel the heat radiating from the wounds beneath.

“Shit,” Robin swears again. “Steve. I need you to wake up.”

If he doesn’t wake, if he can’t open his eyes, Robin is going to call Nancy to help haul his ass to the hospital, no matter what Steve wants. He'd been a little feverish last night when Robin had left (her parents are being a little lenient, having heard about Steve’s injuries from the “earthquake,” but she does have to go home sometime), but she’d hoped that if he kept taking Tylenol and drinking water, his temperature would start to go down. Clearly, that hadn’t happened.

Finally, though, he does open his eyes. They’re glassy, fever-bright, and a little unfocused, but they’re open.

“Robin?” Steve rasps, blinking at her in confusion.

“Oh, thank god,” Robin breathes, reaching for Steve’s hand. “Steve, I think your bites are infected. We need to get you to the hospital.”

Steve blinks at her again, before he glances around the room. He doesn’t look like he’s really listening to her – he doesn’t even look aware of what’s going on.

“Steve?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. “No,” he whispers.

Robin bites back a frustrated noise. “You can’t argue with me on this. You need a doctor, Steve,” she says firmly.

Her stern and urgent tone doesn’t seem to be doing anything to calm Steve down, however. In fact, he only seems more agitated, managing to prop himself up on one arm as he looks wildly around the room.

“No, no, no–”

He jerks himself fully upright, trying to scramble off the mattress, entirely heedless of his injuries, and Robin lunges to support him.

“Shit, Steve, be careful–”

But Steve isn’t listening. The moment he’s off the bed, he’s turning to Robin and shoving her towards a corner of the room with a strength Robin wouldn’t have imagined he could muster in his state. She’s so surprised that he manages to get her all the way into the corner, practically mashing her up against the wall, before he turns and places himself in front of her, body held tense and ready.

“Steve, what the hell–” Robin tries, before Steve cuts her off.

“Shh,” he hisses, arms held out like he’s trying to block something. “’m not gonna let them get you.”

Robin’s heart stutters in her chest, a reflexive anxiety rippling out across her body until she can feel it tingling in her fingers and toes.

“Let who get me?” she asks, glancing around the room now, too. “What’s going on?”

“Fucking– fucking Russians,” Steve says, voice low. “Not gonna let them take you.”

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Okay, Robin thinks. Okay. She can handle this.

“Steve,” she says, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on his arm, careful to avoid the scrapes along the back of it, “we’re not in the bunker. We made it out, we’re home.”

Steve shakes his head, muscles still tense, almost shaking beneath Robin’s palm. “They’re coming,” he says hoarsely. “They’re– they’re gonna– I won’t let them.”

“No. Look around, see where we are. Look at your weird, plaid wallpaper. Look at all the pictures you have pinned up now. Look at that fucking bowling pin you keep on your desk and you won’t ever tell me why.” Robin squeezes his arm. “You’re home. We’re safe.”

Steve shakes his head again, but he seems to be flagging. “’m not gonna… gonna let them hurt you.”

The raw determination, the desperation in his voice makes Robin’s chest ache. “You didn’t. They didn’t lay a hand on me, I’m fine,” she promises (not strictly true, but now isn’t the time to get into that).

Slowly, ever so fucking slowly, Steve’s shoulders start to droop. He relaxes from his stance, swaying a little bit on his feet, and looks around the room again before looking over his shoulder.

“Robin?” he manages, his voice small, a little faint.

“Yeah, Steve, I’m right here,” Robin says, squeezing his arm again.

Steve nods. “Okay,” he murmurs.

He takes two faltering steps forward, lists to one side, and then falls to his knees so quickly that Robin barely has time to catch him.

“God damn it,” Robin hisses, doing her best to keep his uncooperative ass upright. “Steve!”

“’m fine,” Steve mumbles, but says nothing more. His eyes have fallen shut again.

“God damn it,” Robin mutters again.

She does her best to lower him gently to the floor; she isn’t strong enough to haul him back onto the bed on her own, but she at least grabs one of the pillows and puts it under his head before she reaches for the phone—she’s always teased Steve about being spoiled for having his own phone in his room, but she’s grateful for it now—and dials the number she’d forced herself to memorize days ago.

It rings, and rings, but finally someone picks up.

“Nancy,” Robin rushes out, before the other girl has even finished with her ‘Hello?’ “I need a ride, and I need it now.”

[i-like-loserz]

thoughts about himbo!mingi???

note: everything said here is said with love (and a bit of lust)

---

if there's one thing that you love about your boyfriend, it's his ability to go from a baby chick to a fucking idiot to a rockstar. it's crazy that your sweet shy baby can suddenly command whole arenas full of fans with a few words.

mingi is first, and foremost, a sweetheart. he lives to please you, even when he isn't fully sure what you want.

he has a habit of picking up random flowers that he sees whenever he's out. this could mean plucking some daisies from a field while coming home after lunch with the members, going to a flower shop while drunk off his ass at the end of the night, or even telling the manager to stop in the middle of the road so he can go to a nearby sidewalk and steal some of the weed-like blossoms.

he tries to arrange them into a neat little bundle, even when the stems are uneven and bending, smiling like an idiot as he presents it to you. you take them graciously, trying to blink away tears as you press kisses all over his face. he's so thoughtful and cute that it genuinely hurts sometimes.

then mingi is an idiot (affectionately). there's that one time he stayed up all night on facetime because you told him you wanted to fall asleep and wake up to him since he's been on tour for a while and you missed you.

when you woke up, you saw his sleepy eyes and soft smile. you knew for sure that he stayed up for the handful of hours you were sleeping. when you asked him why he would do that he said: "i didn't want to sleep and miss you waking up."

as if he didn't have a concert that night.

"baby, do you know how pissed atiny is gonna be because i kept you up all night?" you whine, already dreading any hate comments about your drowsy boyfriend.

"don't worry, woo told me that i can mix together two 5 hour energies to get 10 hours of sleep!"

"ming..."

finally, your boyfriend is a certified rockstar. every time you see him on stage you swear the stylists are dressing him up sluttier and sluttier, just for your reaction. (maybe he's the one telling them to do it!)

his shoulders have been looking extra broad, his waist extra grabbable, his face extra fuckable. and the way he looks at the crowd as he performs... you can't wait to have him all to yourself.

you wait backstage as he finishes up, giddy just from hearing his deep voice as he thanks the fans for all their love and support. as soon as he's off the stage, you're in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist, kissing his perfect lips off.

his skin is hot and sticky against yours and it only makes you pull him closer, wanting every part of him, here and now. his chest heaves as he attempts to keep up with your movements, still reeling with the pure adrenaline of being on stage.

you pull back to praise him, "you did so good, baby." you breathe the words over his lips, tempted to press against him once again. "you looked so hot up there."

"yeah?"

"why don't you take me home and i'll show you how much i loved it?"

mingi turns his head toward the other members, making sure they can hear him loud and clear: "I'M OFF! I'M GOING HOME!"

[mia4gotcookiez]

They can’t help it, they feel the urge to thank their father every single time.

Obey me men who pray every time they enter your delicious hole(s)

Pairings: they might be OOC….a bit.

Lucifer x reader, Mammon x reader, Simeon x reader, Michael x reader (you can ignore Micheal if you’d like ☹️🫵🏻)

I tried to make it as gender neutral as posssible, don’t come at me bro. These are the only characters I feel would actually pray. Then again

NSFW warning: minors don’t interact.

—————————————————————————

Starting from Lucifer, the ever so prideful older brother. He couldn’t just be nonchalant to you either now could he? He had his roots to thank for such an opportunity- and it’s not even the first time you guys have sex… it’s every single time.

“L-lucifer, you’re being so mean!!-“

“Am I now darling, You can’t blame a man like me can you now?”

With a few thrust of his finger as he stretches you, drawing circles on you sex to stimulate you. He finally pulls out with a pop as your hole clenches around nothing, disappointed by the loss of feeling you whine, which turn into yelps and scream as he pushes his fat, pulsating cock inside you. Your eyes unable to hold the tears of pain and pleasure mixed give way as your tears form trails down your cheeks. The trails and tears are kisses away by your man as he moves inside you, one hand pressing his bulge through your plush tummy; a testimony to his imposing length and the other hand on the other side of your head, supporting him. The kiss soon turns into prayers and small moans of pleasure in between, breaking you out of the moment.

“🤨”

But you let the expression go as you pay heed to his words, taking in the sight.

His hair falling in front and some pushed back with wetness that could only be named as sweat, eyes shut close as his firm eyebrows are squeezed together in desperation. His pretty mouth, wording the prayer sometimes slipping up and speaking it into the flesh of your cheek, breast and neck.

Once you’re done, you ask him about it. And he does answer, looking up at you with sincerity pooling in his eyes as he answers everything you need to know through his eyes.

—————————————————————————

Mammon is a simp. A full time simp with his feeling as big as his cock.

The thick, veiny phallus rests across your thigh as you sit on top of his abdomen, leaning forward to kiss him. His hands holding the flesh of your thigh and slowly entering you, as he thanks his father against your lips in whines and gasps.

You just chuckle and trail kisses across his body, already knowing it’s a tradition between you two with how often this happens. You wait till he finishes with tears streaming in his eyes. His emotions are just too much m’kay? Don’t blame my poor baby!

He just sighs and cries as you move on him, providing him and yourself with pleasure as he regains his control over his emotions. You just need to take control till the first time you guys cum, after that mammon would loveee to assist you.

“Ma-mammon slow down-down!”

“C’mon you can take it babe,”

If you ask him about it, he’ll shrug it off and act like nothing happend you. But you know and he knows that you know but won’t say anything.

—————————————————————————

Simeon tries, he really tries not to be too audible, but it’s just the way you grip his shaft. What an angelic man, he prays throughout the intercourse.

His mind is completely overtaken by you, your scent, your taste, your body, your hole. That he just has to thank his father, his lips swelling in greatfulness and forgiveness as he murmurs his prayer continuously.

Even when you kiss his lips, to shut him up and catch his breath, he hums the prayer in your mouth. But it feels good so you let him be.

He prays till the last moment of his seed spilling inside you as he finally topples over and rests against your body in a heap of sweaty limbs, the warm air containing the mixture of your sexes as it wafts throughout the room.

“Simmy, were you praying about my….hole?”

His eyes widen as his blood rushes to his cheeks and ears. He nuzzled into your neck to calm down as he whispers into your neck.

“I was praying about everything you are and do to me…”

“That’s not a very clear answer…”

But you don’t push it, you know exactly what he was dreaming of and it’s all in good conscience.

—————————————————————————

Michael is a mashed up mix of shame, guilt, great fullness, pleasure and love as he prays in the starting, as he enters you, when he cums and at then end.

He’s an archangel for his fathers sake but you’ve got him all sweating and puffing with your legs resting on his shoulders as he enters your hole, face contorting into that of pleasure as he whines and prays to his father.

You’re amused quite frankly as he utter you as a temptress and your hole as an inviting doom. But you’d be lying if you didn’t grow wetter at that. You being you threaten him with pulling away as you watch him scrambling and almost crying as he holds you form tightly, looking down at you with his big pleading, doe eyes as his kisses your shin. Pleading you to quit being being such a mean human and just give an angel like him what he wants.

“Do you want me to leave then?”

You speak with a teasing undertone as you raise a bold arched eyebrow, with a smirk pairing with it as you watch your angelic man fumble as he presses you legs against his body and holds them tightly, peering down at you with a flushed and disheveled look that you were sure, Luke would faint after seeing. His big puppy eyes, tearing at your offer as he sniffles and you swear your heart breaks at the sight.

“P-please d-don’t, you won’t l-leave me right? Please don’t! I s- swear, I- I’ll be a good boy..”

And you chuckle as you pull him down to kiss you, shushing him up.

—————————————————————————

Guess it’s prettty obvious whose my favourite here and tbh please don’t kill me, I can’t write mammon nicely 😭😭

TELL ME IF YOU WANT OTHER HEADCANNONS TOO OR SPECIFIC FICS, REQUEST ME

And please tell me if a messed up something. English truly ain’t my first language.

Adieu <3