#thank you smell. thank you incredibly jerky driving.

[windowsandfeelings]

The thing about a 7am flight is that I had to wake up at 4am. And the thing about waking up at 4am is that I was so scared I wouldn’t that I woke up at least once an hour instead.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S03E08 - Sleeping Beauty

Okay episode which gets good with character interactions. In fact, I don't really get bored with S3 up until the end where they put some lackluster episodes.

You see one kid being mean to the other, then a minute later you cut to an interaction between parents and you realize why.

These parents are awful.

Charlie: "You have never seen a fairytale before?" Sarah: "I have, except I find them all insufferably sexist". Charlie: "Well, they offer historical context". Do they? Because I don't remember dragons in my history books. Anyway, I'm with Sarah on this one and luckily I didn't grow up with them.

It is interesting, however, that Charlie seems to know quite a bit about these things. I distinctly remember no boy would ever be convinced to sit down and watch these movies.

Sweet potato jerky? Why does that sound so tasty? It's a dog treat.

This is just an excuse to get Sarah home.

"Your new place, which I see for the first time ever, is really incredible!"

Have I mentioned yet on this rewatch that Charlie must be taking kickbacks to be able to afford a house like that? No?

"Kids are loud". Water is wet.

Too cute.

"I guess they're alright". Make up your mind. More importantly, isn't there ample space on the couch next to Charlie for Sarah to sit? What's she doing over there?

Jesse calls from work, Joe is also over there, NO ONE is surprised that Sarah is at home with Charlie and Rex.

See? Instead of reacting to Jesse's antics, react to the fact that your detective and your head of forensics (your? I have no clue) are playing house instead of being anywhere near the precinct.

"Rex is a detection dog. His alerts establish reasonable suspicion to search". Well, thank you, Sarah. Charlie never actually explained it. I wonder if this actually holds up.

I can actually imagine the writers at the start of the season trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for those searches based on Rex's nose. At some point, they might have even opened a law book. I don't think that it would hold up in court to say that a police dog smelled illegal substances and rule based on that but it might give probably cause for a search. All this changes depending on where one lives, though. And if they find something, well, then you have your proof right there. The whole gist of it is to make sure the search is legal so you don't jeopardize the entire case.

"The dog ruined my favorite pants". Maybe you shouldn't have run?

"He's trying to hypnotize me. You're all witnesses."

"So Rick is not the owner of our... glass slipper". I think Sarah is about to whack you with the case file.

Sarah: "Where do you think of starting?" *Rex barks* Charlie: "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, too, partner". Guys...

Why do I think this was taken from when they're looking for the stepmom in the end of the episode? He looks too serious and very much in a hurry, which is not something that he is supposed to be in the current drive.

"I can assure you there are no drugs in this house". Charlie literally has a drug sniffing dog with him, how do you think he's not going to find anything?

I think the lady's excuse that she's going through a brutal divorce actually did get a bit of a reaction from Charlie. Not that he'd give her the drugs back, of course.

Dad-influencer. I hate this age.

"What was your babysitter doing in the back of your truck?" I can't believe there was a logical explanation for this other than "We were having sex".

"You don't think it's possible to have a platonic relationship with an attractive woman?" Wise move not to answer that.

I'd definitely like to ask the Hudson and Rex production where they get their car brand covers because in greek tv productions their look like shit.

"Everyone I know drives this car". This is a 50K Mercedes. Where are we?

I did not have sexual relations with Stacey Nielsen". Okay, who put that in there? I can't listen to it without laughing.

Sad that it wasn't some kind of threesome. She was just carrying their child.

The production getting their money's worth out of the new house.

"She made this for me. It's some sort of woman with... one, two, three, four... seven kids?" "These are dwarfs" lmao

Snow White was in witness protection? Maybe in the next Disney installment.

Sarah: "You don't need a prince for a happily ever after". Get that man, Sarah. Do you have any idea how many men would protest that statement?

Joe: "Nice of you to join us this morning". Don't do this, Joe, we keep trying to extricate him out of the office, let him be late for once!

Charlie: "Rex took forever to get out of the house this morning. Rex: "Don't you dare sully my good reputation!" Charlie: "Okay. I took forever to get out of the house this morning". I love their suspicious looks and also, I WANT TO KNOW! What happened? What are they hiding from us? WHAT??? What did you cut out?

"Need I remind you, Charlie, that warrant-less collection of DNA is not admissible in court?" Maybe. I mean, we sometimes base an entire case off of it.

Seriously, why is he so chipper?

Sarah: "Stacey's not the mother". Joe: "I'm sorry, what the what?" Charlie: "Yeah, what Joe said". You can tell Sarah loves delivering such news.

Again with the looks.

I believe that a person having a perfectly good womb should be able to use that womb however they see fit, including getting paid to carry the baby of a couple that for whatever reason can't or won't do that. The law's intent should not be to police people's wombs but to make sure that children shouldn't be born and grown to be taken advantage of. So it should be legal in cases of parents who want to have a child, and illegal if for example one was to gather fifty women and grow children through surrogacy to take advantage of them (not the only example, just one I thought of). Taking advantage of your body's ability to carry children for monetary gain so that they can be ultimately raised in a proper family that wants them is not the same as taking advantage of children.

"I had a glass of wine at lunch." "Was it served in a salad bowl?" Burn!

Why would you bring the kid to the place her stepmom might commit suicide?

Rex to the rescue once again. I think I've seen this on Kommissar Rex too.

Big damn hero.

"What a needless tragedy this all was". I've seen so many certifiably stupid deaths on crime shows, this doesn't even rank at the top 20.

Suspiciously big enough space for Rex to jump onto. But looks weird before that. Also, thanks for squashing by beer/wine theory like a couple episodes later. I am now thinking that the wine goes with the couch lol

"I think you'd make a great mom." "You're a great dad. To your fur baby over here." "What do you think, pal, you like being my fur baby?" Rex's growl sounds like he wants to bite anyone who says the word fur baby again. Maybe that's just me, though.

It's a good thing Sarah has an alternative plan to motherhood because I can see the future and I suspect it will take a long time.

Again, the case didn't grab me. But they spent sufficient time outside of the office and mostly in Charlie's new house that we just saw for the first time that I didn't mind.

[wizkiddx]

a friendly face

a lil one inspired from seeing the recent interviews abt cherry - yes im a couple days late but am very slow. This is basically stolen and adapted from another of my stories so I don't think there's any bits left over by my dyslexic proof reading isnt that great so apologies!!! very speech heavy so sorry am trying to balance my writing more

Summary: Tom is having a hard time filming Cherry and dealing with the emotional baggage of it, so Harry recruits someone to make everything that little bit better.

tomhollandxreader

fluff and a little angst I guess?

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Harry, Tom and their driver Sian where all sitting in the car having left the set 20 minutes ago, heading back to their accommodation. Or more precisely, Harry and Sian sat in the two front seats- Harry only in the front as to allow Tom to lie down across the three back seats. He was asleep, or at least looked asleep, but Harry knowing his brother so well knew he was just wishing he was. The day had been torturous for Tom, they’d been filming a hospital sequence in which his character was heart broken. The sequence had involved him being thrown onto the floor multiple times, by a heavy handed stunt double who was not nearly as precise as those he’d worked with at ‘marvel’. Furthermore, there was also multiple scenes of him having to properly cry on camera, which although it sounds tame, is one of the hardest things you can ever ask an actor to do. At least, someone who commits half as much as Tom. For him to show that emotion, he had to go back to a place in his life where he didn’t really ever want to venture again. But even then, this character was such a fuck up, he had to do deeper.  He felt completely drained, emotionless and cold. But he couldn’t sleep, not for the guilt he felt for being short with everyone on set- he had never been like that before, he just felt like no one was respecting or understanding what he was going through. So instead he just lay on his side, facing the backs of the leather seats, arms folded in stubbornness- even if he had no idea why.

“Tom?…Tom, I know you’re awake… Look, we need to make a quick stop. You gotta come out.” Harry was actually slightly nervous his brother would just point blank refuse, even if he needed this so bad.

“I just need to get back to the apartment. Please Harry. Can’t we do it tommorrow?” The desperation dripping off Tom’s voice actually pained Harry to listen to. He knew Tom was having a crisis about how he treated everyone today, so chose to ignore his please in favour of some assurance.

“You know everyone understands… They just kept asking me if you were alright?” Harry could see the guilt radiating off Tom. It hurt him to see his big brother like this. 

“Please… I just need to get back” His small voice barely made it to the front of the car, but Harry heard it all. 

“It will take 2 minutes tops, I had a delivery but I need a hand carrying it, come on” Harry spoke as Sian turned on the indicator to pulled up next to the sidewalkpavement; the car slowing to a gentle halt. Tom didn’t reply, instead huffing as he used the head rest of the middle seat to pull himself up. Already out the car, Harry opened the door for him waiting patiently, because Harry knew he would be a hundred times better off in just a few moments. 

“What the hell have you even ordered that’s so big?” Tom sighed while ducking through the door into the cold Cleveland air, keeping his eyes on the sidewalk as Harry motioned for him to follow his feet. 

“Oh um don’t know, a good friend sent it actually” Harry tried to hide the grin that was spread over his face from showing in his voice, as he saw a very familiar head of hair running toward them.

“What friend?” Tom looked up sassily toward Harry, shortly questioning who would send Harry a parcel from England that was too big to be delivered or carried by himself. Only then, nearly 5 metres away from Sian in the car, did Tom look up to see where they were. It wasn’t the nearest post office or delivery warehouse - they were at the airport. “Harry what’s going on?” Tom questioned with a low and warning voice, skipping a step or two in order to catch up with his younger brother. 

“We’re collecting her” Harry smiled as he nodded forward. Following his gaze with eyes wide open, Tom turned forward just in time to see Y/h/c  flying over his face as he was engulfed by someones arms. Immediately sensing exactly who this was, Tom did not hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist and push his head into your neck. Smelling the familiar perfume, Tom couldn’t help but scoff, allowing a the jerky breath to leave his lungs as you arched away from the hug, cupping Tom’s face with both her hands. 

“I’ve been reliably informed you could use a friendly face” you smiled, noticing his raw emotions threatening to overtake him, so swiftly pressing just pressing your lips onto his. Seemingly frightened to move, Tom barely reacted to the kiss, so you pushed and deepened into it a little more- till you felt him relaxing against you. With that, you arched away again and smiled massaging his stubbly hair behind his left ear.

“How are you here?” He croaked staring deeply at her, switching between her left and right eye as if that somehow would confirm that this was real, not some cruel dream he was having. 

“Someone somewhere knew you were in need and bought me a plane ticket over… I’m coming home with you on monday” You grinned while  watching Tom’s eyes light up, he leaned in again to your lips instead of replying. 

“Er-cuh-huh” Harry loudly cleared his throat, causing the two to pull away from each other. “Sorry to interrupt, but Sian isn’t really allowed to stop there long sooo” They both nodded, before Tom lunged at his brother, holding him close and whispering thanks too. It was clear this was at least partly Harry’s doing, and he could never thank his brother enough.

“Umm.. as much as I’m enjoying this brotherly love we really do have to get back in the car” Harry awkwardly spoke as he almost pushed Tom off him. 

“Awww my favourite little brother being all mature” You giggled, taking your turn to hug Harry, admittedly a little shorter than Tom’s, but still with lots of gratitude.

“Please get stop loving me and get back into the car!” Harry yelled as he stormed off to Sian, leaving both you and Tom in fits of laughter. Grasping each others hand simultaneously the laughter continued as you followed Harry down the street to the car. 

Seeing you standing there; feeling your arms wrapped round his neck ; hearing your oh so sweet voice had Tom feeling…. Feeling lighter. It was as though your mere presence gave him the strength to carry all the things that were previously weighing him down like a truck. What was extraordinary though, was how it wasn’t just psychological. He literally felt his joints feel looser, he felt his body flood with warmth and he felt his heart calming down. When you’d first been getting close to each you’d had rather the opposite effect. Which was surprising because that was at the point Tom had never felt more confident - he had just returned form a avengers press tour, where naturally everyone had just loved him and played up to his every whim. He had legions of girls, some of them drop dead gorgeous where falling at his feet. And yet, when he met you it was as though he was transported back into his incredibly awkward teenage years. It was infuriating, he knew he could act cool and unbothered and smooth however as soon as you stood informant of his it was like his mind melted, filling it with utter gibberish and garble. In fact, he was plainly floored by you - how kind and pure hearted you were, how respectful and how you found hhis jilted flirting adorable and not to forget how drop dead gorgeous you are. 

It had taken a while and a hell of a lot of opening up, but over time he found the opposite happening. Your presence became something else entirely, not one that would put him on his toes and have his heart racing - more of a comfort. He slept better when you were beside him, his nerves never got the better of him if you were there to cheer him on. He could relax completely without any fear of judgement, any worry at all with you. What you had done is change the definition of something so fudemental and a given in life. You’d changed home from a place to something much more intangible. A person; a feeling; a connection. You were his home.

“Sian are we close?” You asked, turning your attention away from the two brothers annecdotes from filming, realising Sian must’ve been driving for about 30 minutes. 

“Yep just the next right I think” Sian replied gently while turning the wheel as the indicator clicked.

“Where are we going?” Tom asked, looking first at you then pleadingly at Harry- knowing he had more of a chance with his brother. 

“Well” You started and he whipped his head back round “I know it’s late and you’ve been working all day, but you have alater  10 o’clock call time tomorrow instead of 6, so this is the best night to do something. We found a driving range-with heaters” which was a very important factor since Cleveland was bloody freezing “- that we thought you’d like to play a game or two?” The massive smile in response meant you’d hit the nail on the head.

“And soz but I’m crashing the game otherwise- and no offence, but you would win waayyyy toooo easy Tom” Harry butted in and sniggered as he interrupted the lovey-dovey stares. You gasped at that in mock offence, holding your hand over your chest. 

“Oi you, Paddy has been teaching on the Holland boys days out you both missed- I’ll have you know I now am aware that you have to get the ball into the hole, not a goal as previously thought.”

The boys both groaned in unison and Y/n wiggled her eyebrow grinning, elbowing Tom slightly in the side. “Things might have changed since you left you know?”

Yet another thing Tom loved so completely about you, was how effortlessly you had fitted into his family. Honestly, none of the Hollands could imagine life without you anymore - especially Nikki, who had quite literally attempted adopting you so she officially wasnt the only female in the immediate family. Sam used you as an expert taster for all his marvellous culinary creations (even if your judgement was always the same, it was very good); Dom often ended up picking your brains about your work, he found you ‘actual proper’ job as a doctor simply amazing , where all his family had never been especially acadmeically gifted; and Paddy just plain saw you as his older sister. So it was hardly surprising at all that when two of their actual kids flew across the world , you’d been the obvious placeholder. Yes, golf was most definitely your forte - but you were enthusiastic, with a positive (if flightily misguided) give it a go attitude. 

The try-try-and-try-again attitude that never really worked … until Paddy taught you how to hit a clean drive.

“I am not joking, I am asking the lady at the desk there’s no way!” 

“Tom you are the worst looser I have ever met! I didn’t cheat, I’ve just taken up a new hobby”

“There is no way Tom… no way she can get that good” Harry huffed as he ran straight past you to catch up with Tom, making sure that you did see the harsh glare he shot him. The outrage that Y/n had beaten them both at the driving range was way worse than anything you could’ve predicted- now you sort of were wishing you’d let them win. Oh wait…. Of course you weren’t  - this was priceless. Especially their faces when you’d launched your first ball super accurately inn the centre of the second furthest away target. They had reacted as if you had just stripped butt naked, you thought; standing their jaws hanging with a look of almost fear in their eyes.

“You could see the balls land with your own eyes! Practice makes perfect!”

“Thats not fair though! It took you like 8 weeks to be like that?”

“I mean you were obviously just taught by the wrong Holland, Paddy’s a  pretty good teacher!” You smiled as your trio turned the corner and walked through reception, seeing Harry desperate to ask the receptionist but Tom just looking over his shoulder to give a hurt look to at you.

“I’m going to ban you from being closer to my brothers than me”

“I can’t help if he’s cuter then you alright?” You smirked and raised an eyebrow, as Tom stopped in his tracks and turned to face you.

“That’s it… your gonna get it” he spoke in a low voice, with a mischievous look in his eye, abruptly he launched himself at you -  barely having  time to swerve away from him and start a sprint towards the exit, giggling as you took a glance back to see Tom chasing you out, Harry quickly in tow too. 

“Your not allowed to beat me at golf!” In a jokey voice, you heard Tom yell, just as you reached the sleek black 4x4 and hurdling yourself into it. 

“I’m in the car it’s a no fight zone!” You cowered in the corner,back pressed up against the opposite door and  arms crossed to make an ‘x’ sign in front of her body. 

“That is not how it works” Tom and Harry grinned from the open door. As fast as lightning they both vaulted in and started tickling you, making you screech curses at the two of them.

“Alright alright kids, no fighting while I’m driving thats an order.” Sian calmly spoke, trying to hide the laughter from her voice, as the two men retreated and helped to pull you up from the position half on the floor that your squirming had gotten you to. 

“Get off my leg Tom… arghhh… thanks Sian, I’m sorry they’re so moody, I just whipped their asses at golf”

“You’re here to make me feel better right? Not doing a good job so far” Tom’s snide remark meant you scrunched up your nose while plugging her seatbelt in, making sure to jab Tom’s side hard as you did so.

“How did I end up sandwiched in between you two twats then?” You grinned from the middle seat as Harry just rolled his eyes looking out the window, and Tom gave you a loving smile- not able to hide his relief of your presence.

“Think it’s about a 40 minute drive you gotta enjoy” Sian smiled looking at you via the rear view mirror, to which Tom couldn’t quite stifle the yawn that escaped. 

After all he had done much more than the typical 9-5 hours work, and the golfing was an unexpected addition to the already long day. His excitement and just pure joy at having you here had made him forget about It all for a couple of hours - but now his exhaustion was catching up with him with a vengeance. Instinctively you wrapped you arm round Tom and in doing so pulled him into your side. 

“Get some rest huh?” You whispered into his forehead, and all Tom could do was reply with a weary nod, letting his eyes slip close to the constant beat of Ally’s heart. You immediately sensed Tom was properly out of it, and contented yourself looking out his window for a few minutes,  before you felt something heavy briefly whack your other shoulder. Jumping a little at the contact, you looked round to see Harry’s head bobbing side to side in a light slumber. In the midst of worry for Tom, you hadn’t realised the kid had been doing the same long hours as him. Plus dealing with Tom and being Tom’s support, which surely took it out of him. Harry had always been ‘the most important brother’ in your eyes. Just because Tom trusts him so implicitly and completely, they had an understanding only real brothers could get to but also extended far beyond blood. When you’d first been introduced Harry had been colder to you. It wasn’t personal though, he just wanted to be sure on you and your intentions with Tom because as he well knew often when people saw Tom they didn’t just see an opportunity for love. It was an opportunity for a lifestyle, for fame, for relevance. Harry took a while before he trusted you but now you were miles and miles beyond that point. So now, being at a stage with Harry where he was phoning you to come and fly out to save Tom (and him too). It was not to be taken lightly.  Therefore, you gently pressed your hand to Harrys face and pushed him to lean against her other shoulder too- hoping to cure the dark circles under his eyes a little bit too. 

You were quite content for the rest of the journey, feeling warmth radiate through your body as the two men breathed deeply and calmly either side of you. You sort of didn’t want the car journeyer to end - but sure enough it wasn’t long till Sian was pulling into the hotel entrance.

“Get you a girl that can do both, beat yo ass at golf and look after your family” Sian whispered as she handed the phone back to you, after having taken some of your favourite ever photos, the 2 boys asleep on your shoulders while you pulled a variety of different faces. Smiling back at Sian, you then sighed-knowing she had to wake the two up, given their exhaustion you didn’t really want to either. 

“Boys…boys… hey let’s get you both into bed yeh?” You spoke softly, gently raising your shoulders in order to disturb them both. Harry’s head immediately shot up, his eyes puffy and half open, but a sheepish look on his face as he realised how he was sleeping. Just responding with a smile that said it was all okay, before  you turned her attention to Tom- forever stubborn to wake up, at least nothing had changed there. 

“Come on Tom, can’t have you sleeping in the car all night” You pushed again, this time lifting Tom’s head, earning a very deep groan as his eyes slid open and he pushed against the movement. It was at this point Harry slammed the car door shut, making Tom jump out of his skin, you loosing the hope of any serene wakeup call. Rubbing Toms arm, relaxing the tension now present in his body you encouraged him once again. “Come on lets get inside mister” 

His hotel room was exactly what you’d expect for an a-lister and lead actor in a million pound film. Large, modern, squeaky clean and posh. It was almost too big to be filled by one person though, Tom had always found it a bit cold and just not cosy - why he opted to spend the majority of his down time either fast alseep or in somebody else’s company. Both of those also stopped him getting too much in his head - or more accurately in his characters head. Cherry was a weird character and from interviewing all the veterans and lengthy discussion of his past, Tom almost felt as if he had in some small way experienced what Cherry had. Felt what Cherry did. Thought like Cherry did. 

And that was a sure fire way to fuck yourself up.

Now, with you here in his room haphazardly digging through your case, if felt warmer. The cold but brilliant white lights seemed to have softened to a gently warm glow that bounced off your skin and made your figure look almost angelic to Tom. You were his home. 

“What are you waiting for?” You mused while turning away from your (now) inside out suitcase, proudly carrying her pyjamas which you had found hidden at the bottom the whole time- not the most practical packing in the world. All the while Tom sat on his bed, back leaning against the headboard and arm bent behind his head too.

“Just thinking that I need to go through all the scenes for tomorrow” A monotonous tone laced his voice, for he knew he couldn’t spend the night the way he really wanted to, safely wrapped up with you.

“Oh… well let’s go through it together then hey? We will be done in no time; but if you want we can go over them again tomorrow morning.” It was a practical suggestion, a helpful action you could implement - even if you had a feeling Tom wouldn’t just agree. Since his lines clearly weren’t the only thing on his mind this evening. 

“Yeh but everyone on set is already sick of me after today… I can’t be being shit as well as horrid” his voice was small as the memory of how he snapped at some of the extras had him cringing inwardly at himself. He shouldn’t have been that rude, shouldn’t have blurted it out, should of offered a solution rather than just critiquing.

“Hey would you kindly shut it? No one is sick of you, everyone is just ready for christmas and missing their families. Now get changed” Your soft tone turning into an imperative order, as you threw his pyjama bottoms at the him, smashing into his face before falling into his lap.

“Oi” he shouted, but followed instructions and stood up reaching round to pull his hoodie off. Stood shirtless, his side was exposed to the now changed you, the sight making you gasp and clamber over the bed to gently touch Tom’s back. You followed the outline of an impressive patch of bruising, stretching from the bottom edge of his shoulder blade all the way to his hip. 

“Tom, what the hell happened?” Whispering in fear, Tom turned round to face you, seeing your eyes watering up as you kept glancing at his back. He was littered in a variety of purple, yellow and slightly green marks on the whole of his left flank. It looked like a minor crush injury, not something a pampered actor gets after a day of filming infront of tens of people including an onset medic and health and safety risk assessor. 

“What?” Tom asked before turning to the mirror and looking back over his shoulder to see the bruises for himself. He hadn’t expected the ache to look that bad. “oh - I - er… Today the scene, I get smashed to the floor by someone and I kept doing it wrong so we had to do it lots I guess.” He looked away and down at your feet, not being able to meet his girlfriends eyes suddenly. You just nodded, trying to blink back the tears-  he had truly been broken by this role both physically and now mentally- he hadn’t even put a stop to the constant and clearly severe pain. 

“Put your stuff on” your  voice was muted, as you waited for Tom to get prepared. He turned around again and then replaced his trousers and quickly pulled a top on to hide the marks, suddenly embarrassed. In the silence the sound of his clothes dropping to the floor, then of him sitting on the bed again- throwing his legs over so now he mirrored your position - the sounds were pretty defeaning.

“I love you so much….” Barely whispering, you suddenly ripped the duvet out from under you both holding it over you as you swung a leg over Tom so you straddled him, slightly leaning over him and letting the blanket rest on top of your back.In your position you looked down in an almost scary way to his warm brown eyes. Tom swore you were literally reading his thoughts, your intense gaze absolutely crumbling any walls he thought he’d be able to hold up. Pressing a gentle peck to his lips you then whispered onto his lips, letting him feel your words as well as hear them. “ …So that’s why we are going to sleep right now and you can worry about all of that tomorrow”

“Y/n I-“

“Your safe with me.” You were not standing for his nexuses and arguments, as you slid down his body - ending with your head resting on his chest, you legs tangled with his. Once you’re properly rested you’ll learn them ten times faster than what you can now… Before you get ill I am telling you to take a break. I’m not going to let you not. So relax and-….Tom?” Ending with a whisper, you delicately lifted your head off his slowly rising chest to see your broken boyfriend already asleep; lips parted as soft snores crept through the silence. In reality as soon as you’d said that he was safe the exhaustion had completely over taken him. Desperately needing to recharge his batteries, no matter how much he had wanted to stay up and work late it could never really happen - at this point physically impossible.

“Sleep well Tom” she smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek with a sad smile.

///////////////////////////////////////////

The next day rolled around all too quickly, but the morning was much better than any of the past couple of months because you were together. Tom, having had a solid 7 hours of sleep compared to his normal 5, was for once ready for the day. He’d gone through the script with a certain someones help in record time, and now the three were just pulling up at the set. 

“You’ve been awful quiet this car ride…” you grinned as she clasped Tom’s hand across the empty seat, making Harry turn around and give you a warning glance. Oops. In a moment where Tom went to the loo at breakfast, Harry had fully disclosed everything that had happened on set yesterday- especially the  burst of anger. So naturally, Tom was feeling nervous and scared to face everyone. 

“It will be fine I promise… and if not tell them I’m your personal body guard- no one will be rude to you if me and Harry are ready to attack” Tom let out a breathy nervous laugh, only then meeting your eyes.

“ A fly wouldn’t be threatened by you two. Harry would just take a photo while you’d check their pulse or something”

“Errrm” Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he contorted round from the front seat so Tom could see his disapproving look, meanwhile Tom was dodging your affectionate fake-slaps.

“Children we’re here” Sian sighed as she brought the car to a steady halt “and if you could get through the day without killing each other I’d appreciate it, otherwise I’m out of the job”

“Not promising anything when I’ve got these pair to deal with” Tom grinned as he opened the car door, before anyone else could retaliate.You laughed before quickly following suit, joining Tom at the front of the car and interlocking your fingers with Tom’s. Hesitating for a moment Harry took a second before unplugging and leaning for the door handle.

“You see what I mean?” Turning his head to look at Sian “It’s sickening how happy they are.”

“Yeh but your glad about it don’t lie” she grinned, before practically shooing the poor boy out her car.

“But dont tell them!” Shouting in reply, as the car was already pulling out. 

Tom’s body seemed to tense more the closer you walked to the crew tent, you could feel the way he squeezed his shoulders back and his jaw tensed and untensed. There was little you could do apart from squeezing his hand that little bit tighter - further reiterating the fact you would always always be in his corner. Perhaps the most telling about Tom’s own character was how truly guilty he felt for the way he was with the crew. Normally, he was one of the most down to earth actors around - no trace of an ego or superiority complex. It didn’t matter if you were a cleaner or head of a multimillion dollar studio, Tom would pay both the same amount of respect. He always out that completely down to his upbringing and mum and dad, but even that was being humble. He was just a good person to the core, no one saw that more than you either. It’s part of love, you see the good and the bad parts of a person and promise to unashamedly love them all. 

Just before you both had made it into the main tent, Tom was pulled away. “Oh Tom we wanted to talk to you about yesterday!” The familiar voice of Joe Russo called, as he and Anthony  ran up to Tom from his left, giving a little nod of greeting to the actor, before falling in step with him.

“Morning, I-uh I wanted to apologise actually-“Tom was cut off while you hung back off to his right, not wanting to intrude on this conversation.

“No we should. The team were all being slow yesterday, and they were making some hard scenes harder on you. We really appreciate what you are putting yourself through for the sake of the film.”

“But still I acted like a brat and I’m sorry”

“Tom” Anthony spoke up for the first time. He was a man of limited words- but whenever he spoke everyone listened. “ You are one of the best, most-dedicated actors we’ve ever worked with. We’re all overtired, run down and ready for the holidays. You’re missing your family too. It’s already forgotten… So let’s just get on with the movie?” Tom smiled, pressing his lips together to stop their kindness overtaking his emotions. Tom always felt safe with the Russo’s. They’d dealt with him when he really just was a kid actor - overwhelmed and without a clue what was happening. They’d dealt with hiM adjusting to fame and the much bigger part Marvel seemed to want him to play in the future. They trusted him with this, most incredibly complex and also personal film for them. So when they spoke and they said it didn’t matter, Tom was much more likely to agree.  Then proceeded the bro-hugs, as the men all showed they were good with each other. 

“Well lets make a motherfucking movie!” Tom exclaimed once they broke the hug and the brothers laughed at him. “Oh where-d….” He muttered as he looked round before meeting your eyes, still standing rather awkwardly a couple of meters behind them. “ Joe, Anthony you remember Y/n?” Nodding and smiling the brothers beckoned you over; both greeting you with a warm handshake. 

“Good to see you again!” You grinned and the directors responded nodding.

“We didn’t know you were coming! I would’ve made a list of all my doctor question for you.” Joe winked, knowing your pet-peeve was people asking you all their gory body questions as soon as they found out she was a doctor. You didn’t need to know about you dentists acid reflux issue, you didn’t need to know about your granny’s friend’s constipation, and you really really didn’t need to know about an old friends erectile dysfunction.

“Ha ha ha “ You rolled your eyes sarcastically “ and no it was a bit of a spontaneous trip, I just landed last night.” Throughout the whole of the exchange Anthony had taken an aloof stance, just  observing you and Tom. Observing the bright smile Tom gave you, even when you were simply making small talk. The way he looked so much healthier, well rested and just happy, in the space of a single evening.

“I’m glad you’re here” Anthony basically interrupted the conversation, addressing you then immediately turning on his heel towards the set. 

“Uhh right- get to make up we’ll call a cast meeting in a bit” Joe stammered, giving his brother a funny look before addressing Tom “ and we’ll have to have a proper catch up later.” You nodded in response, as Joe turned and did a half jog to catch up with his brother. 

“That was weird!?” You frowned as you looked up at Tom. He explained the encounter in rather simplistic terms.

“That was Anthony.”

The morning was spent with Tom doing what he does best in front of the camera. They were shooting a larger scene for the army section of the movie, with at least 100 actual soldiers as extras, all geared up in full camo outfits. It was impressive, but also gave you a chance to meet Ciara - you’d been dying to meet her since Tom told you what a laugh she was. Fair to say you weren’t disappointed at all, you guys hitting it off instantly and you going as far as giving Ciara some embarrassing Tom stories that she could wind him up with in the future. Of course though, the main attraction was seeing Tom act first hand. Every time it astounded you, even though you knew that face so completely, in all his movies he fully had you believing he was someone else. It was mesmerising and you couldn’t be any prouder. 

“You’re amazing! I seriously forgot how good you are!” You ran over as Joe Russo called cut to the end of the morning shoot. 

“Well er thanks I guess” Tom furrowed his eyebrows as you wrapped him in a hug. He’d just canned a pretty hard scene and everyone was more than ready for a lunch break. You’s been watching from behind the cameras with Harry the whole time, after Tom gave you permission to sit in his special set chair.

“Seriously I’m very…. “ Her speech broken with an impressive yawn “….very proud of you.” In thanks Tom gave you a kiss first to your nose and then lips. 

“I take it someones not adapting to jet lag?” He chuckled as he pulled away and cupped your face in his hands.

“Which I’m totally ashamed about considering I work night shifts… my body clocks supposed to be better than this” Angrily, you vented, frustrated at your own body when all you wanted to do was stays within reaching distance of Tom. Even if Tom had had the best sleep of this whole shoot last night, you’d been to over excited and enthralled just absorbing every little thing about him that you’d missed so much that you’d been wide awake the majority of the night. If you blamed you fatigue on jet lag alone, it would be an impressive lie. 

“Go take a nap in my trailer… Harry can you take her?”

“Yes master” Harry bowed down and wobbled his head sarcastically, making you giggle. 

“At least this way you get a break from him” You grinned to Tom’s brother, which Harry could only agree with. Giving Tom a parting kiss , you followed Harry away from set. It was at this point that Anthony excused himself from the monitors reviewing the footage, and approached Tom.

“Kid… that was great that scene.”

“Thanks mate, means a lot” Getting his directors approval forever reassured Tom, letting him relax his shoulders a bit as he nodded gratefully to Anthony. 

“Well it’s just truth… so your girlfriend, Y/n right?”

“Yeh that’s her” Tom nodded, suddenly a little concerned as to where Anthony was going with this. You had met the Russo’s a number of times, and it never before seemed as though Anthony had an issue with you- at least to Tom’s knowledge.

“Right well um… you know how I don’t really get involved in all this stuff…” Tom nodded, folding his arms apprehensively. “But I just thought I should say that she’s really good for you.” Tom silently breathed a sigh of relief and waited for Anthony to get to the point. “Joe told me you had a rough patch at the beginning of the year so… I don’t know our industry is hard. And harder for you and her in the spotlight… Just seeing you with her today…Don’t be afraid to take the next steps with her…Don’t let her get away.” Tom was stunned to say the least. Anthony is the last person he had ever expected to get relationship advice from. 

“I um yeh… I don’t know I hadn’t really thought about it. I mean we’ve been together for 2 and a bit years, well including the break… she means the world to me-“

“Well don’t waste it”

And that was the end of the conversation. Anthony turned to his trailer to get lunch and Tom just stood, replaying the conversation in his head. Weird to say the least. 

But it did get the cogs turning. It did get Tom really seriously considering his future. Or rather considering your future together.

And that was for certain. It was you and him, always. 

[theladyofdeath]

V O I D { F O U R }

Chapter 4. An ACOTAR fanfiction.

Nessian. Elriel. Feysand.

Previous chapters:  Fanfic Masterlist

Nesta walked into the spare bedroom. A desk sat against one wall, covered in her father’s old junk, a twin bed against the other.

Nesta felt like a zombie.

Like a ghost.

She was moving, she was speaking, but she had no idea what was going on around her.

She tossed a duffle bag on top of the twin bed, figuring she’d leave everything else in her car until it was needed.

She sat and stared at the wall.

Her sisters were out, her father had said. At a party.

They seemed to be enjoying their new school. Nesta was happy for them. They deserved it.

She glanced at her phone. It was only 9:30. No texts or calls from Tomas.

And yet, she felt more alone than ever. Tomas was a stupid prick, but he was all she allowed herself to have for years.

She left him.

She should be happy.

Should be celebrating.

But she felt more alone without him.

Nesta fell back against her grandmother’s old quilts and stared at the ceiling fan, spinning rapidly in circles.

What was the point of it all?

She had spent her life doing everything she could to reach perfection, had ended up with Tomas, and lost everything.

She didn’t know who she was anymore.

Could barely remember the stupid, naive girl she had been before him.

He constantly had made her feel like she was unworthy of him. But if she was unworthy of Lucifer himself, who the fuck would she be worthy of?

Nesta closed her eyes.

His face was the first thing to pop into her mind.

Stupid.

Idiot.

No personality.

Worthless.

Her eyes opened, once more.

She watched the ceiling fan, counting the seconds as they passed and the tears as they fell.

~~~

“I’m glad you came.”

Feyre spun around. “You. You’re following me.”

Rhys’ eyebrows lifted as he looked to the plastic cup in Feyre’s hand, then back up to her eyes. “How much have you drank?”

A laugh sputtered from her mouth. “Who said I’m drunk?”

Rhys couldn’t help but laugh, quietly. “I didn’t say you were drunk, although your slurred words say otherwise. Let me see your tongue.”

Feyre gave him a dramatic sigh before sticking out her tongue. It was as blue as the punch itself.

“I’m….just gonna take this,” Rhys said, taking her cup and giving it to Azriel behind him.

Az looked at the cup, blinked, and went to throw it away.

“You’re no fun,” Feyre said, pouting.

“How about I give you a ride home?”

Her smile faded, eyes growing wide. “Oh, no, I can’t go home. My dad would kick my ass.”

Rhys looked over his shoulder at Cassian, who was dancing around the fire chanting something under his breath.

Looks like Feyre wasn’t the only one who had drank a little too much.

“I’ll take you somewhere safe, okay? But you’re too drunk to be here. I know some of these guys. They’re assholes.” He held out his hand and almost felt surprised when she took it.

Five minutes later, they were rolling down the backroads outside of Velaris. Feyre had her window rolled down, her head sticking out, hair flying wildly, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Rhysand had one hand on the wheel, the other holding onto the back of her shirt, worried she was going to fall out.

She was a wild stallion, free from all boundaries.

She fell back into the truck, laughing uncontrollably as the back of her head hit Rhysand’s lap.

He kept his eyes on the road. “Who are you and what have you done to Feyre Archeron?”

She was looking up at him when she said, “you like me.”

He blinked, putting his other hand on the wheel, too. “Yeah, I haven’t been too good at hiding that, have I?”

Feyre laughed. “No. No you haven’t.”

He glanced down, just for a second. Her hair was splayed across his jeans, her eyes wide and slightly glazed.

“You are pretty,” she said, toying with the strings of his hoodie.

Rhysand snorted. “That’s quite the compliment, coming from you.”

“You smell like beef jerky,” she said, a giggle sputtering from her mouth.

Rhysand laughed, shaking his head. “Thank you? I think?”

“Not a compliment,” she slurred, patting his abs before slowly turning her face.

She began to fumble for the button on his jeans, and it wasn’t until she was working on his zipper that he swerved across the road, thankful no other cars were present.

“Uh, what are you- shit,” he breathed, stepping on his breaks.

As he pulled off onto the side of the road, Feyre’s hands were inside of his boxers.

“My mouth wants you,” she said, eyes glazed over.

Rhysand hesitated, the tips of her fingers brushing along his manhood.

It was safe to say that he’d never been in a situation such as this before.

Rhysand took her by the arms and sat her up, taking her hands in his. “You, Feyre darling, are incredibly drunk. Trust me when I say that you’ll regret that in the morning.”

“No, I won’t,” she promised, blue eyes big, pleading.

Rhysand rubbed at his temples.

He’d be a liar if he’d said he didn’t want her hands around him, her mouth on his skin. He’d be lying if he’d said he hadn’t dreamt about it since he’d met her.

“Sit back and relax,” he said, zipping back up his jeans. “We’ll be back at the apartment in a few minutes and you can lay down.”

“Will you lay down with me, Rhysaaaand?” she crooned.

Rhysand couldn’t stop his grin. “Let’s just get you home first.. Okay?”

She groaned. “You’re so boring.”

“I know,” he sighed, pulling back onto the road.

Feyre’s eyes began to drift closed as he sped down the road. Once he pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, she was out.

Rhysand picked her up out of her seat and carried her to Cassian and Azriel’s apartment, cradled against his chest.

Once inside, he laid her down on the couch and covered her with his blanket, slipping off her boots and setting them on the rug.

He sat in the armchair in the corner and fiddled with his phone, glancing at her every few seconds, until he too fell asleep.

~~~

Elain was panicking.

She had looked for Feyre everywhere and hadn’t seen her.

Mor was dancing with her date by the bonfire as Elain pushed her way through the crowd. “Hey!” she yelled, over the music. “Have you seen my sister?”

“Rhys took her home!” she called back.

“What?” Elain yelled, eyes wide.

“Don’t worry, he’s not going to try anything,” a voice said from behind her, deep and soothing.

Elain spun around to find another one of Mor’s friends watching her with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets. His dark brown hair was almost hanging in his eyes, which were bright and full of something Elain couldn’t quite put her finger on. He had a tattoo snaking up his arm, random designs that seemed to have no significance.

Elain realized she hadn’t said anything in return.

“He’s not like that,” he continued. “He just wanted to make sure she was safe. She had a lot to drink.”

His eyes were clear. He was one of the few that wasn’t drunk.

Elain nodded, nibbling on her lip. She still felt uneasy.

“Wanna go for a walk?” he asked, almost too quiet to be heard above the music.

Elain looked at Mor, who winked at her, before nodding. “Sure.”

She tried to smile, but it must have come off half-hearted.

“Sorry if I snuck up on you,” he said, keeping a healthy distance away, once they had gotten far enough from the music that he could be heard without screaming.

They began their walk down a line of cars as she said, “No, I’m sorry I’m acting weird. I just hadn’t even realized I’d lost Feyre. I should’ve been paying attention.”

He nodded, and when he said nothing, Elain sighed, “Alright, I know you want to say something, just say it.”

He raised an amused brow. “Feyre can take care of herself. And Rhys is a good guy. I promise you have nothing to worry about.”

Elain bit her lip. “Not to be rude, but I don’t even know you.”

“But you know Mor,” he said. “Do you trust Mor?”

Elain nodded.

He smiled, softly. “Then there you go. Azriel.”

Elain blinked. “What?”

“My name. Azriel.”

Elain couldn’t help but smile. “I’m Elain.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, hands still in his pockets as they walked. “You’re new to Velaris?”

“Yeah. It’s been really great. I love it here.”

His hazel eyes shone. “It is a beautiful city.”

“Have you always lived here?”

Azriel shook his head. “No. I grew up in a small town up north. Moved here when I was eleven. Foster care system.”

Elain raised hers brows, and he shrugged.

“It’s okay. It all turned out okay,” he said, offering her another small smile.

“How long have you known Mor?” she asked, then.

“Since middle school,” he said. “Feels a lot longer than that, though. I met them all in middle school. Sixth grade. Mor, Amren, Cassian, and Rhys. We’ve been together ever since.”

Elain then said, “I haven’t seen you around. Do you go to VHS?”

Azriel breathed a laugh. “You ask a lot of questions.”

Elain’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red. “I find myself to be very curious.”

He nodded, that smile still gracing his mouth. “I graduated last year.”

“Ah, so you’re a college man,” she said, lifting a brow.

He laughed, a quiet, genuine sound. “No, I’m actually a mechanic.”

She noticed how he rubbed the back of his neck. “Really? That’s awesome. Hard work.”

He shrugged. “I like to think so. So, you know, if you’re ever having car problems…”

“I’ll come to you,” she promised.

He nodded his head in thanks as Elain stopped by a bright yellow convertible. “Speaking of my car, here she is. I think I’m going to head home. Explain to my dad how I lost his youngest daughter.”

Azriel pursed his lips to keep from laughing. “Want to give me your number? I live with Rhys. As soon as I get home, I’ll send you an update.”

“Really?” She asked. “Oh, that’d be great!”

He handed her his phone and she put her number in, adding a smiley face emoji next to her name.

He gave her a smile as she got into her car.

He watched her drive away, wishing she hadn’t left at all.

~~~

Cassian stumbled through the front door, Azriel right behind him.

Mor had taken them home considering Rhys had abandoned them earlier in the night. Speaking of Rhys, he was sleeping in the armchair, sitting upright. Feyre was sound asleep on the couch, where Rhys usually slept, drool falling onto his pillowcase.

“You okay?” Azriel asked, in the threshold of his own room.

Cassian nodded, barely able to walk a straight line. “Yeah, I’m good. Goodnight.”

“Night,” Azriel said, before quietly shutting his door behind him.

Cassian went into his room and flopped himself down onto his bed.

His head was a blurry mess, his eyes barely able to stay open.

His phone began to ring and he searched all of his pockets before finding it in the inside pocket of his jacket.

“Hello?” He slurred into the receiver a minute later.

“...are you drunk?” It was his sister's voice.

Off.

Her voice sounded off.

“No,” he lied.

She snorted. “Please tell me you’re not driving.”

“Already home.”

“Good,” she said, then said no more.

Cassian was instantly on alert, even in his drunken state. “Hey, you okay?”

“Sorry to call so late,” she said, and he realized she was crying.

He sat up in his bed, the phone pressed against his ear. “Cece, what happened?”

“Cass, dad is dead.” The words came out quietly, quietly through her sob.

Cassian blinked, the words not fully registering.

His father.

He hated his father.

He was dead?

“What?”

“Overdose,” she said. “I found him when I got home.”

“Fuck, Cece,” he said, running his hand down his face. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me sooner? Where are you now?”

“Back home,” she said, ignoring his first question altogether.

“I’m coming to get you,” he said, rising to his feet.

“You’re drunk,” she said.

“Me and Az are on our way,” he promised. He heard her sniffle from the other side of the phone. “We’re on our way, okay? I’m coming. I love you.”

“I love you,” she replied, and he knew she was still crying.

His heart broke. Not for his father, but for his baby sister.

Cassian said goodbye before hanging up the phone and hurrying across the hall, knocking on Azriel’s door in pure panic.

His little sister had seen too much in her sixteen years. She didn’t deserve to find their bum of a father dead in their own home. She didn’t deserve him, at all. She deserved better. So much better.

Five minutes later, Azriel and Cassian we’re headed across town.

And Cassian found himself suddenly sober.

~~~

Chapter 5 coming soon.

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[lovealwaysla]

We’ve been home a little over a week now and I’ve been struggling to find the words to write about our journey. We want to thank each and every one of you who gave us recommendations, who shared your own special memories and who watched our journey throughout our time away. We loved visiting places that our loved ones had once been and sharing our time away with each of you. 

With that said, I’m wanting to dive in and give you more of an in depth account of what life on the road looked like for us over the last 10 days. But, how do you sum up in a paragraph or two the magnitude of our life-changing experiences? How do you pay proper homage to the trip that enriched and shaped who we are? 

I’ll sure as hell try. So, let’s open the door and get out on the road. 

Day 1: 

After landing in Los Angeles, we were off to the races, pausing only it seemed, to sleep at the end of the day as we found ourselves in city after new city. We were due in Joshua Tree in a couple of hours, but we decided to drive through Los Angeles to get a taste for what we would be experiencing in the days to come. Little time passed before westfalias, vw vans, and vintage cars of the like filled the streets, the entire town smelled of salt and fresh flowers, the temperature was cool but make no mistake, the sun was beating down. Brightly colored beach houses kissed the shoreline, each adorned with larger succulents than the last, the energy was contagious. We had left a fast paced, cold environment and transplanted ourselves into a la la land of sorts. We parked the car and beelined it to put our toes into the ocean, we had arrived. 

Sharing an In N’ Out double double and fries, the windows rolled down and we headed for the desert. Opting for highways and back streets allowed us to soak in our surroundings on a deeper level. Let’s go through the mountains,” Ian grinned. “I’m in.” I replied. I looked in front of us and I could see we were getting ready to enter the San Bernardino National Forest. Before I could register, we had reached 5,287ft; we were up a mile high. Then, a blink, and we had reached 7,000ft. Shorts, tshirts, flip flops, we were dressed for the weather at the base, but it was when we reached Lake Arrowhead & Big Bear and were greeted with sledders, several inches of snow, and dropping temperatures. “Let’s get out and head to the overlook”, and with that, my exposed toes were buried in the snow. As we wound around each corner, pinecones, each bigger than the last, one the size of my face, covered the ground. I am looking at the one we found now, nestled amongst our plants, a tiny nod to that time we reached 7,000ft, driving through the clouds.

Beef jerky, dry roasted nuts, and coffee fueled our drive down into the desert. The sun was setting over the horizon as the topography began to change. Entering the Yucca Valley is unlike anything I have ever experienced. The landscape changed from a sea of deep greens and blues to variations of brown, beige and tan. Hints of dark green brush almost strategically, lined the hillside, along with massive rock formations and cacti. We reached the base of the Yucca Valley and were greeted by the largest goat I had ever seen, standing up atop a rock on the right side of the car. It seemed so large in size that I wasn’t convenienced that it was in fact real. “Did you see that?” and “Was that real?” and “GO BACK! GO BACK!” filled the car.  The tires screeched, we braced ourselves for a very sharp turn and within seconds we were headed back to the scene of the sighting. As we slowed down to get a closer look, we were greeted with one, no, two, no four, no, a herd, of desert mountain goat. What a way to be welcomed into the desert! 

The sky had begun to change its state, providing us with an assorted arrangement of pastel delight; blues, yellows, pinks, purples. There’s nothing like a desert sunset. More importantly, nothing compares to watching a desert sunset with your soulmate. Ian pulled off onto an almost missable road titled, Ghost Road. The rock formations were huge, they were almost taunting us to climb them. They were the only mass structure we could see for miles, and to it’s right, open desert land and Joshua Trees, we were the only car on the road it seemed. As the sun kissed the horizon and the sky turned to dark, we headed for a tiny mexican restaurant, “To go,” we said simultaneously. The hunger from the day had set in, for sleep, for food, for a hot shower, we were ready. You have now entered Joshua Tree,” we had arrived. Our airbnb did not have a television, it was something that appealed to both of us when we booked our first location. A welcomed break from the daily stress, anxieties, unnecessary updates of/from society if you will. 

We set the table, began to eat, to reminisce and recap the incredible sights, smells, experiences that we had encountered in a mere 10 or so hours, and it was then that I paused. I looked around, I looked in front of me, I looked within, and I realized, all I needed was right here. At the end of the day, all you truly need is to be seen, heard, and loved. To have a roof over your head, clean water to drink, and food in your tummy. 

As a writer, I document everything. So, as we laid down for the night, I pulled out my journal and asked if we could write our memories of the day down, and Ian was all in. Mid-sentence, I paused, “Babe, if this was only day 1, can you even imagine what we’re in for?”

More tomorrow. 

[all-alone-he-turns-to-stone]

You’re My Alpha

Anon asked: can you make a theo raeken imagine/smut where the reader starts to hate the pack because since theo came back to town the pack told her to stay away from him/ are overprotecting asf but she finds theo attractive and theo convinces her to go against the pack & she become bad & they become the badass couple of beacon hills - I’m sorry for my english but hope you understood & I also love your page

Word count: 2459

Warning: Contains smut, blood, little bit of violence.

Pairing: Theo x Reader

A/N: Wow I had inspiration for this one! Hope you like it and thanks for the request!

The pack had warned me. I had been warned on numerous occasions, I couldn’t come near him. I didn’t have the right to be in his presence. He was dangerous, a threat, and I was in danger.

They were repeating it a lot and at the beginning I listened to them. I avoided being in the presence of the threat as best I could. I was doing my best. But I couldn’t chase away the emotions that roamed my body when I saw him, when I thought about him, his face, his eyes, his lips, picturing his hands on my body…

Theo Raeken.

I had done everything to avoid him, but he was the one who came to me when I was separated from the group. He had waited for the right moment, the perfect opportunity to isolate me in the locker room of the school, my back sticking against the lockers, him in front of me, hands on both sides of my head, his face so close that I could feel his hot breath against my lips. So close, I was dying to cross the meager distance that separated us to eat his appetizing mouth. I knew I couldn’t, I had been forbidden, and the pack was over-protective towards me. There was always someone with me. But not today. And he knew it. He also knew the obvious and burning desire I had for him, and according to Stiles who hated him bitterly, Theo would use my feelings against me. Against the pack. But there, his body pressed against mine in the empty dressing rooms, the sound of our breathing being the only perceptible sound in the silence, it didn’t jump to my eyes. He was devouring me with his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful, Y / N. Why are you hiding? Why do you stay the little wolf with the broken leg that drags out of Scott’s pack? Why do you need so much protection?” He whispered softly against my lips.

“Because I’m human,” I answered him just as gently, unable to detach my gaze from his lips.

“Stiles is too, and he’s not followed 24/7,” he added with a smile. That smile that was always makes me melt.

“Well,” I began, my mind empty of all answers. He had a point.

Theo put his hand on my cheek and looked me straight in the eyes.

“You’re strong, you don’t need them, you don’t need their protection. They slow you down, they want to hide your true potential,” he added in a sinister tone that gave me shivers of excitement in the back.

“They say you’re bad …”

“They say a lot of things … because they don’t like me … Scott wants to keep the control on his pack, that’s all he wants, he wants to keep you on a leash, he thinks you’re too stupid to act on your own will,” he continued, stepping closer to me. I drank his words like an alcoholic in need. He was right. Scott was stopping me from flourishing. He was keeping me in a cage.

My breath accelerated when I felt his lips resting against mine, magnetised. Theo put his hand on my waist and left the other against my cheek. I opened my mouth to ask for more, I wanted more, I needed more, to feel his skin against mine, his warmth, his smell, I wanted all this to belong to me.

“Let her go! ”

A wolf growl and then Theo was thrown away from me against the lockers. I opened my eyes abruptly to see the scene. Scott had rushed towards Theo, and held him brutally by the throat against the locker. He was strangled and struggled as best he could, his face becoming more and more red. For his part, Scott was angry, his muscles were protruding under his t-shirt and even though he was back at me I could very well imagine the red eyes of the Alpha who was burning with hate.

Without thinking, I rushed at them shouting.

“Leave him alone!” I shouted, scowling at Scott’s back, not letting go.

“Why do you defend him all the time!” He grunted. “He’s evil! A traitor! ”

I stopped beating him, hesitant and then crossed Theo’s gaze who was still struggling. He nodded scarcely toward Scott and I understood.

“What are you doing here Scott … you followed me?”

Scott turned his red eyes at me, angry.

“Well …” He started.

“Why are you following me all the time?” I repeated calmly.

“To protect you!” He added grumbling towards Theo.

"I know how to protect myself!” I added, feeling the anger boil inside of me.

“No you don’t know! You are naive and silly, looks where it led you!” He raised his voice.

For my part, I was shocked by his words. I looked at Theo again. He was right; Scott thought I was weak, stupid and naive. And I was going to prove him wrong.

I backed up without saying a word and grabbed a Lacrosse stick that was laying on the floor. I hesitated for a moment, my heart pounding, but the rage blinded me. He didn’t know me. I wasn’t weak!

It was on this thought that I pushed as hard as I could the stick behind Scott’s head. It made him fall on the floor, thus releasing Theo who looked at me with amazed eyes, coughing. But Scott was already starting to get up again, angry, so I that time I didn’t hesitate and ran to him to knock him over and over with the stick until his face was covered in blood. The rage was burning my muscles and controlling my body. Then I ran to Theo, helped him get up and ran away from the locker room without a glance at Scott.

We were in Theo’s car, who was driving us to his hideout to make us safe. For my part, I was looking at my hands full of blood since we were in the car, my breathing jerky and fast, a buzzing in my ears. What had I done? And above all, why didn’t I feel guilty? The guilt would have consumed me and made me cry, but I didn’t feel anything.

"What does it do? ”

I turned to Theo who glanced at me, satisfied, while keeping an eye on the road.

“What does it feel like to be finally free and powerful? How do you feel after destroying the face of your alpha? ”

I held his gaze and felt a naughty smile stretching my lip.

“Satisfied.”

It had been several weeks since I had joined Theo and left Scott’s pack. Chaos broke out everywhere in the city, fires, deaths, blood flowed afloat. And I still couldn’t feel guilty. I had Theo by my side, I felt strong, powerful, invincible and above all, I no longer felt constrained by Scott’s stupid regulations. Don’t kill? Death is natural and violence is in the nature of the human being. I had nothing to do with Scott and the others. My alpha was now Theo.

I was waiting for Theo’s return, sitting in the car when my door opened and I was forced out of the vehicle before landing painfully on the ground, grunting in pain.

“At last we find you, traitor!” Growled a voice that wasn’t unknown to me. Malia.

I wanted to get up, the rage bubbling in my body, but she put her foot on my face to stop me.

"Gently …” Another voice began. Scott, of course.

“ Why? She killed and massacred many people!” Malia added.

"She had to be controlled by Theo,” Stiles said.

An inhuman laugh shook my whole body followed by a dark silence.

“You’re all so stupid, no one controls me,” I mumbled. “ This is who I am. ”

“Then you’re better dead!” Malia grunted, catching me by the collar to get me up to her height. It was the perfect moment, so I took the knife out of my belt and sank it into her stomach. I saw the light of her blue eyes slowly extinguish and her eyes darkened as she let go of me to put her hand on her bloody wound. I took advantage of the general consternation to place two fingers in my mouth and whistle as loud as I could, alarm between me and Theo. Immediately, my alpha came out of the shadows and jumped into the melee close to me, a smile at the corner of his lips.

“Well,” he began before putting his arm around my waist.

“Theo …” Scott spited as he pulled out his claws while Stiles was with Malia.

“Tut tut tuut …” Theo whispered. “You’re not strong enough, Scott. You are no more than the shadow of yourself. Your little protégé will not come back and you will never control her again. She’s mine,” he finished, ferociously pressing his lips against mine. I groaned with pleasure opening my mouth and our tongues danced for a moment in a passionate ballet, temporarily forgetting our enemy who were facing us.

“Come on, darling, finish the work so that we can continue this,” he finished as he heads for the car, grabbing my butt as he passed with his powerful hands. I smiled and then turned back to Scott, who was staring at me with tears in his eyes.

“Y / N … please, listen to me …”

Bam.

Scott didn’t have time to react and felt on his knees, with his hand on his stomach, blood flowing from the bullet I just shoot. I had no regrets.

“I don’t have to listen to you. You’re no longer my alpha,” I finished before getting into the car. Theo made the tires crunch and we left the parking lot.

“Are you hurt?” Theo asked me, glancing at me as he drove.

I looked at my bleeding elbow, the only physical wound I had.

“No,” I replied.

“That was really sexy …” He added, licking his lips. “When you put them down like that, the guilt on their faces. It was … exciting. ”

I stared at him for a moment before approaching him like a cat, as sensually as possible while licking my lips, hungry.

“How exciting?” I asked before putting my hand on his crotch, which was already starting to get hard when I had barely touched it.

He took his eyes off the road again for a moment to plunge his gaze into mine, burning with desire.

"Incredibly exciting. I wanted to take you there, in front of them, and fuck you until you were no longer able to stand on your feet. Until you cry and beg me to let you come. ”

My hand squeezed his crotch making him grunt. He couldn’t touch me, he had to keep his hands on the wheel, and I knew that it was a frustration to him, to the highest point. I continued to stroke his erection over his pants, first gently to raise the pressure, then more and more brutally, making him growl every time. Feeling that he appreciated the treatment, I undo his belt and jeans button before descending his zipper and releasing his privacy from the tissue barrier that imprisoned him.

“Fuck, Y / N …” Theo muttered, closing his eyes for a moment. He wasn’t at the end of his surprises.

I leaned over him and lowered my head until my mouth was a few centimeters away from his reddened cock, not moving for a moment in order to raise the sexual frustration. Then I gave a chaste kiss before licking his cock which made him groan. Satisfied by his reactions, I didn’t wait any longer and began to suck him. First from the base to the bottom, then taking it all in my mouth while my hand kneaded his testicles still trapped in his underwear, creating extremely erotic sucking sounds. Mixed with the many moans that came out of his mouth, the excitement in me rose more and more and I already felt the humidity between my legs, sign of the obvious desire that I had at that time.

Then I felt his hand rest on my head and grab my hair to guide my movements and I let him do it. He kept groaning and grunting for a moment while continuing to move me against his erection, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t plan to let him come that fast.

I put my hand on his to remove it from my head and raised it to cross his eyes. I smiled and pulled my pants out; I straddled him and put my mouth against his neck, which allowed him to still have a good view on the road.

“Fuck, Y / N, you really want to do it now?”

For only answer I planted my teeth in his neck, strong enough to cause him pain but not enough to cause bleeding. I packed my panties on the side to clear my very wet entrance and took my other hand to place his erection in the right place. Then, before he could say a single word, I lowered on his hard erection while groaning in his ear.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” he grunted in a hoarse voice and I felt the car zigzagging for a moment.

“And you’re so big,” I answered, licking his earlobe, satisfied. I began to move, first slowly, from top to bottom, still irritating him a little. But I wasn’t entirely satisfied and I didn’t intend to stop there.

I retired almost entirely before I plunged again, very quickly and hard. I felt the tip of his erection bump the wall of my inside and I groaned hard enough against his ear, which caused the car to zigzag again.

“Fuck Y / N!” Theo repeated with a pleasure grunt.

I continued my movements, fast, jerky, powerful, while continuing to groan his name. I knew he was dying to touch me. To take me, to punish me, to slap my ass. And to have the control was exciting me even more.

“I’m close …” He mumbled in my ear. I was close too.

“Me too ah …”

A few moments later Theo came in me and I had a very satisfactory orgasm that left me panting, still sitting on him. Then, after giving him a quick kiss on the lips, I left him to return at my seat, a satisfied smile on my lips.

“Y / N …” Theo began without looking at me, smirking.

“Yes, sweety?” I asked him seductively.

"Wait a little until we get to the hide-out … you will get your punishment.”

I put my hand through my hair before answering.

“You’re the alpha…”

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 16. Lake Bled

Whew! Thank God for that Harry Potter play weekend because this busy season did not get any easier. My last post was just two weeks ago, but I’ve put in over a month’s work hours since. 

It was a manic, shit-your-pants, ‘85 Bears blitz, but Chelsay and I had strategically placed this trip to exhale. Our light at the end of a chaotic tunnel: three days in Lake Bled, Slovenia. 

The words “Bled” and “Slovenia” don’t sound like a place you’d go to relax, but I’d heard about this lake town when we first came to Europe. I actually tried to fit it into our Christmas 2015 trip but didn’t have time after Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic. Although we had to wait until February 2017, walks around the lake and snowshoeing in the surrounding mountains seemed like the perfect outlet after busy season. 

The weather when we arrived didn’t exactly cooperate: cloudy, cold, and dumping rain. My visibility was about what Chelsay’s is normally (so, blind), which means we couldn’t see much of what makes Bled so attractive. That said, the rough weather provided two positives. First, the cloud cover gave our walk a mysterious, Budapest-in-the-fog vibe. Second, no one else braved the rain, leaving just me, Chelsay, and her red umbrella to peacefully take in the sleepy Slovenian setting.

To stay warm and dry off, we stopped at a few cafes on our way around the lake. Our first break was for coffee and Slovenian cream cake (I think its three layers were cool whip, whipped cream, and vanilla Snack Pack pudding). 

At our second stop, we’d intended to just get tea but happened to find a restaurant the hotel had recommended: Sova. 

…Holy shit. This place was an all-timer: right up there with the ribs in Copenhagen, breakfast in Paris, amatriciana in Lake Como, hot dogs in Iceland, or doner kebabs in Berlin.

I said that we’d originally walked in for tea, but once we saw everyone else’s meals, we had to order. We weren’t even hungry, but we ended up with prosciutto-wrapped steak in a unique but phenomenal mustard, creamy mashed potatoes, perfectly cooked spaetzle in a creamy black truffle sauce, and a smooth Slovenian merlot. That same meal in London, first of all, would not exist, but second, would have been ~£150. We walked out with about a £7 bill and a reservation to come back the next day. 

After dinner, we didn’t last much longer… Given the past two months, all I wanted was sleep. We also knew the following morning would have clear skies, so I begrudgingly set the alarm for 6:00 despite only 15 hours rest in the three days before coming to Bled.

The alarm rang the next mornUGHHHH! I didn’t get up. I felt like I didn’t even fall asleep! I just laid there in bed… seriously debating whether I should just sleep in. We came all this way for the views though, so I defeatedly left the warm bed and started bundling in layers. I convinced Chelsay to wake up too… the only thing she said for 15 minutes was that she hated me. 

We raced the sun as it rose above the lake, searching for a perch to take in the views. We’d seen a path on the previous day’s walk, but weren’t 100% sure where it would lead. Chelsay and I started hiking, but the trail didn’t seem to be getting above the tree line. We had to get back for cave kayaking that day, so I got impatient and broke off the path. The hillside was covered in leaves and extremely steep, so Chelsay and I were scaling basically on our hands and knees (picture Spider-Man scaling the side of a building). It reminded me of the time we had to manically cross a Scottish river on all-fours trying to catch the last ferry back. I was so sweaty, and so tired, and so panicked that we wouldn’t find a lookout before having to head back for kayaking. 

Thankfully, after about 15 minutes of trudging through thick woods, Chelsay spotted a perch above the tree line. We ended up seeing that the path we bailed on led precisely to this point, but regardless, we still made the summit just in time for sunrise. 

Tucked at the base of the snow-capped Julian Alps, surrounded by small villages spotting the Slovenian countryside, hosting clear skies and bright sun rays… sat the stunning Lake Bled. It might have been heaven. 

We had the same feeling after the Neushwanstein hero shot: a mix of bliss and relief. In both cases, we feared we would miss the view we’d flown so far to see. In both cases, we had to overcome an obstacle. And in both cases, the reward was magnificent. 

Another similarity between Neushwanstein and Lake Bled: in both cases, the rest of trip was like playing with house money. We’d gotten the view we’d hoped for… now anything else would just be a bonus. With Bled, the “anything else” would be kayaking through old mining caves and another round at Sova. 

We actually lucked into the cave kayaking. I’d envisioned spending the Saturday snowshoeing in the mountains surrounding Bled. After two months trapped indoors during busy season, I thought the snow and fresh air would be a perfect break. 

The hotel had connected us with an outdoors shop that could bring us, but we were so busy the week before that we decided we’d just arrange in-person. That was the lucky part. Rather than pre-booking snowshoeing, we stopped by the shop and saw the kayaking option. Chelsay and I knew it would be the more unique experience, so it was an easy audible.

The 21-level (!) mine shaft is located in the Alps’ peaks that make up the Slovenian-Austrian border. It was primarily mined for lead, but since its closure in 1999, the shafts had been put to a different use. 

When the mine was still operating, crews had to pump out any water that had seeped through the limestone walls. Once abandoned though, the pumps no longer operated, the mining shafts began to fill with water, and the 17th level provided the perfect cave system for kayaking. 

After a two hour drive from Bled, we arrived at the mine entrance near the mountain’s peak. We geared up, boarded an old miner’s train, and took a jerky, 10 minute ride deep into the mountainside. Through the cracks of the cramped and rickety cabin, you can see the light disappear into complete black. Once inside the mountain, the air was mild (50 degrees), humid (90% humidity), and completely still (don’t fart).

I mentioned that we entered near the mountain’s peak, so it was over 400 creaky steps down to level 17 where our kayaks awaited. From there, the guide let us roam through the haphazard tunnels on our own. 

With only our headlamps as guides, we waded through the dark maze. The circles of our two spotlights were genuinely the only light exposing the lead-rich limestone and crystal clear water. At 17 floors beneath any access to the outside world, these  mine shafts were completely untouched by sun, wind, or pollution. 

In some spots, the cave rooms were massive and around the size of a house. In others, the tunnels were no more than four feet high and four feet wide – we’d have to lay back in our kayaks and “paddle” by just pushing off the walls. 

Making a bizarre experience even more bizarre, Chelsay and I would sometimes turn off our headlamps and float through the mine shafts in pitch black.  No light, no sound, no breeze.

Not necessarily no smell though… A pair of rougher British girls had come cave kayaking as well. I assume these girls were from Grimsby (Sacha Baron Cohen movie reference). Some of their highlights from throughout the day:

Genuinely believing dinosaurs were a myth

Taking a Skype call from her nephew on the ride to the mine shafts. When she hung up, she told her friend, “That wuz the one born ‘n the motorway.“

Being a vegetarian… after having worked at Nandos

Breaking the one rule of being trapped in a small, breezeless tunnel! Before releasing us into the mine, we were gathered in our kayaks and listening to the guide. From the girls’ kayak, we heard a hollow rumble followed by a rhetorical question, “D'you hear that?”

We separated quickly though and were on our own soon, navigating the dark tunnels for a few hours. 

I was completely exhausted afterwards… either from the paddling or excitement (or fear). Luckily, we were able to rest on the ride back to Bled: we’d need all senses ready for Round 2 at Sova.

We’d been thinking about the spaetzle, steak, and Slovenian red all day, so we ended up ordering the same dinner and drinks as the night before. It was just as phenomenal. This time though, we also added two extra dishes: spicy ribs and, my favorite dish from the weekend, chocolate soufflé with strawberry sauce and cookies & creme mousse. Nothing will ever pass La Carta de Oaxaca on April 10, 2015 (our engagement night), but this meal has to be in our Top 5. Again, the bill was something like £11.50. 

Our flight back to London was the next morning, but we hiked up to Bled Castle before leaving for the airport. As we took in the incredible views one last time, we talked about what a perfect weekend it had been. 

Lake Bled won’t be the first place we think of when reminiscing on our time in Europe. It more likely falls into the bucket of “Trips that Delivered More Than Expected”. Like Milan and Budapest before, we arrived with little expectation but left with a thorough appreciation. These types of trips tend to remind us of how lucky we are… Not only do we have an opportunity to see the world, but we get to take chances on places like Lake Bled, Slovenia. As I said in the Morocco post, the trips that seem the least routine or push us out of our comfort zone… are the ones that are the most fulfilling.