#thank you person in the comments for helping me remember the ship name i could not for the life of me remember……

[teaabun]

I dont need to say more

[taxreturnslut]

Just posting this so I have an idea of where all the pieces are at the end of Egghead:

(for real, don't read this if you haven't caught up with chapter 1123)

1 - the strawhat pirates, *Lilith, Bonney, Kuma and the giant pirates are now heading to elbaf.

2 - Trafalgar Law & Bepo are at some unknown location, heavily beaten, the rest of the crew remains at large. Their pirate ship has been sunk.

3 - Eustass Kidd & his crew's current status is unknown, but they were last spotted near Elbaf. (I am assuming they are still alive because this is one piece.) ((Potential reunion with the strawhats incoming?))

4 - the Marines, Kizaru and St. Saturn are at Egghead. (This arc definitely seemed to be sowing seeds of doubt into Kizaru's resolve in the Marines.) They could possibly head to Elbaf, like the fleet is still at Egghead and they know the giant pirates are with Luffy so it would make sense to continue pursuit. But they also may stick behind to clean up Egghead. It is also worth noting that they thought they destroyed the civilian ship that was leaving. I am not sure if this will be brought back up, but afaik they don't think there are any civilian survivors from egghead.

4.5 - SWORD, recovered Koby and left Garp behind. Currently discussing their next steps while Koby resolves to stop Luffy.

5 - Vegapunks. All dead except for Lilith and York. York does not know Lilith is still alive.

6 - The Revolutionary Army is still at Kambakka Island. Sabo has informed Dragon & Iva about the existence of Imu. And VP's broadcast confirmed Sabo's story about Lulusia so they have no reason to doubt him.

7 - the world knows about an ancient weapon, the rising sea levels, the disappearance of Lulusia, & that the void century exists.

8 - Perona was last seen on Hachinosu trying to free Moria but we don't know the results of that.

9 - the Cross Guild is hyping themselves up to find the one piece thanks to Buggy strengthening his resolve.

10 - Shanks, annihilated Kidd and then presumably bounced from Elbaf, whereabouts unknown.

11 - Blackbeard is about to learn a lot of thanks to Caribou. It's unclear if he has returned to Hachinosu and seen the aftermath of the raid. *Blackbeard is confirmed not at Beehive as of 1121, doubtful he's made it there within the last two chapters.

12 - Smoker was last seen leaving the SWORD HQ presumably after talking with X Drake, current destination is unknown. *I take this back up on further review it seems like Smokey is heading towards the hospital/SWORD

13 - it is worth noting that the gorosei (minus Saturn) have returned to Mary Geoise. We also keep getting small frames of the dude with moon shaped hair who's name I'm forgetting. So something will presumably happen with them + him and his other holy knights.

There are so many moving parts and I still feel like I'm forgetting something. If anyone knows something I messed up or knows a person or group I missed pls let me know.

14 - we got a new silhouette a chapter or two ago. Man marked by flames?

15 - CP0. We know Lucci, Kaku & Stussy are still on Egghead. It's unclear but it seems like their loyalty to the WG is starting to waver.

16 - Vivi & Wapol are aboard Big News Morgan's airship. Vivi is wanted by Imu & we learned she is a bearer of the will of D & Wapol witnessed King Cobras assassination as well as the forms of the gorosei. We do not know what part of the world they are flying over.

17 - The Straw hat grand fleet is currently out and about in the world. I mention them because at the end of Dressrosa we were told they are the cause of some historic event, so we shouldn't forget about them.

18 - the og Stussy is on Sphinx island with Marco. We saw Weevil captured by greenbull and it seems like Marco is being pressure to save him.

* Thank you @brookstolemybrand for the help! I really appreciate it!!

** Please read through the comments. I did not remember this all on my own and had a lot of help. I appreciate everyone who mentioned something.

[merlot-and-chardonnay]

A Lark Among the Wolves and Dragons:

Chapter 1

You made it. It took a few months, but the moment you saw land that was the Continent you've grown up in, you couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief along with a sense of homecoming.

Despite this temporary moment of bliss, you were not quite out of the woods just yet. You needed to find someone, and you needed this person's help.

Once the ship finally docked at the port in Oxenfurt, you eagerly walk off the ship and run to the nearest tavern where you knew a certain someone would be there entertaining the regular patrons.

Sure enough you saw your brother playing the lute, singing while wooing some of the ladies who were sipping from glasses of wine.

It was different from the crowds you were entertaining prior to sailing back to the Continent; back in a foreign land where your songs and ballads had caught the attention of a certain foreign prince with long silver locks and violet eyes.

------------flashback: Westeros, King's Landing----------------

In the land of Westeros, you found yourself in King's Landing, making a name for yourself in various taverns and occasional brothels. Your ballads of a Continent to the near east, a land of magic, monsters, monster hunting mutants, and elves and dwarves had garnered the interest of the locals in the city.

While you didn't quite achieved the level of fame your brother back home had, it was enough to keep a roof over your head and food on the table.

One evening you had a gig at a heavily frequented pleasure house on the street of Silk. You stood before the crowd, which strangely enough, consisted of soldiers of the City Watch this night, many were already drunk on barrels of cheap wine and seeking temporary pleasure from the working girls and men.

You ignore the debauchery surrounding you, tune your lute, and sing to the patrons a love song in the elven tongue. You knew the patrons and workers wouldn't understand the words, but they were captivated by the beauty of the language. Unbeknown to you at this time, your angelic voice had just attracted the attention of a certain patron whose exploits and brutality were well known throughout King's Landing, especially in this part of town.

As soon as you finished, the audience clapped and cheered, a few of them asking for more. Much as you wanted to keep the show going, you needed a break and some watered down wine to lube your vocal cords before continuing.

You disappeared in the back, checking yourself in the mirror, not paying attention to anyone else coming in.

"You have a beautiful voice," you hear a masculine voice behind you. Startled you turn back to possibly confront whoever it was.

Your eyes widen when you face the man before. Long silver blonde hair, violet eyes and a handsome face.

"Uh, thank...you," you say, not knowing what else you could say. The man smirk, almost like he was on some kind of hunt and he was close to catching his prey.

You had yet to determine if you were the prey in question.

"What was the language you were in singing in?" he questions, approaching you. "It' was in Elder speech," you explain, "the language of the elves, I'm not sure you've ever seen one before." "Can't say that I have." "They're not much different from humans," you continue, "but they have pointed ears and have longer life spans." "Interesting," the man says, "perhaps I should have a chance to come across one if you took me to your lands."

You tilted your head a bit at that comment, "I know you're not from Westeros," the man explains, stepping closer and placing a hand on your cheek, "your accent gives it away. Nor are you from the Free Cities. Tell me, Little Lark, where is your home?"

You stared into his eyes, surprised by how warm his hand was. Your mind was blank for a brief moment, before you remembered he had asked you a question, "Uh, I'm from this Continent that is a little closer to Westeros," you explain, "it's a land of magic and monsters, even dragons. I uh, I've traveled nearly all over the place before I came here. Redania, Temeria, Kaedwen; I even made some travels to Toussaint and Skellige and Cintra too, but you probably wouldn't have heard of these places."

"No, I suppose not," the man takes his hand away from you, "what is your name, Little Lark?" "(y/n)," you answer, "...what's yours?"

The man raised an eyebrow, realizing you didn't even know who he was. Everyone in the Seven Kingdoms knew of Daemon of House Targaryen, brother to King Viserys, heir to the Iron Throne, rider of the dragon Caraxes, Commander of the City Watch, and the Rogue Prince.

Daemon merely looked at you, small smile on his face.

"I look forward to your next performance, (y/n)," he chuckled as he turned his back and left.

-----------end of flashback------------------

When Jaskier had finished his performance in the tavern, he caught a glimpse of you. At first the bard had thought he was seeing things, as it had been nearly two years since last he saw you, his little sister.

But you were still standing amongst the crowd. He makes eye contact with you before disappearing the back.

You follow him.

"Oh my gods, (y/n), is it really you?" Jaskier says, barely to contain the excitement in seeing you after so long. He pulls you into a hug, making a joyful laugh as he did so.

"It's been so long, little sister. We have so much to catch up on." "It's good to see you too, Julian," you admit, feeling a sense a joy you hadn't felt in months now, "I've missed you. How's Geralt doing, by the way?"

Jaskier pulled away at the mention of the witcher's name, "Ah, who knows," he shrugs, "Last I heard, he finally took responsibility for his child surprise. I'm not sure if you heard what happened in Cintra." "I still managed to get some updates on the happenings on the Continent from Westeros," you tell him, "It'll be nice to see Geralt again. Maybe he can help me with..."

"...help you with what?" Jaskier frowns, noticing the change in your facial expression, "(y/n) what happened? Did something happened to you while you were there?" "Well...kinda, yeah," you nod, "I uh...*sigh*, Jaskier I fucked up. Big time. I need help." "What happened?" your brother asks with concern. "Do you remember when you told me to do as you say, not as you do, especially when it comes to fraternizing with royalty?" you ask back.

"Yes?" Jaskier frowns a little, not sure about where this was going. "I kinda did the opposite," you admit, pulling your cloak back to reveal a swollen belly, making Jaskier's eyes pop out in realization, "(y/n), you're...uh, wow, uh, okay, this is happening. I'm going to be an uncle, this is...this is exciting. But wait, (y/n), who's....who's the father?"

"That's why I need help," you sigh, feeling shame from your current situation, "I can't raise this baby alone, and...I can't let the father know about this little one's existence."

"Wait, why?" Jaskier frowns in confusion, "why can't the father know?" "Jaskier please-" "Did...did he hurt? Did he hurt my sister?" "Jaskier!" you speak up in a serious tone, "I can't. Please, this is important. If he knew, if anyone in his family knew, it wouldn't end well for this child. I just know it. Please, help me out." 

Jaskier took a deep breath, still clearly upset at the idea that someone could've possibly abused you or worse, but he speaks, "alright. Yes, we'll get through this. Don't you worry, (y/n), everything is going to be alright. What do you need me to do?"

"I need to find a place to raise this child," you tell him, "someplace safe that no man can easily get to. A place that can be well guarded if need be."

Jaskier thinks on it, "I think I might know a place like that."

-------flashback: King's Landing-----------

The following morning back in King's Landing, you were in your room, breaking your fast with some eggs, bacon, and a jug of goat's milk when you heard a knock at your door.

You go to answer to find a young lad on the other side with a scroll that contained the king's seal.

"Can I help you?" you ask. The lad hands you the scroll, "a summons from His Grace Viserys, King of the Andals, the Rhoenar, and the First Men," the lad says, "and Lord of the Seven Kingdoms."

"A message from the king?" you raise an eyebrow, "to little ole' me. What an honor."

You read the message, your eyes slowly widen as you did so.

Apparently today was the king's daughter, Princess Rhaenyra's nameday. There was to be a feast of celebration this evening to honor the princess, and you were personally summoned by the king to perform in front of the royal family.

"This, uh, wow, this is quite an honor. Inform His Grace I shall not disappoint."

When evening came around, you dressed in your best outfit, lute in one hand, and your other hand carrying several ballads you had just composed as tribute to the princess.

You came to the Red Keep, showing the guards your invitation and they permitted you inside.

Once inside, you familiarize yourself with your surroundings. Lords and Ladies from all over seem to have ventured all this way to celebrate the princess's nameday and to pay respects to the royal family.

You found yourself wondering if this was similar to what your brother encountered that one time he was invited to play in Cintra for Princess Pavetta's engagement banquet.

The time finally came for the royal family to make their appearance at the front of table. First to be announced was King Viserys and his wife Aemma, followed by their daughter the Princess Rhaenyra.

You could sweat start to buildup; you were summoned here to preform for the princess and her family, it was important you impress them.

You tune your lute as the family took their seats. Once everyone else had been seated you approach the royal families' table, curtsying as you did so, "Your Grace," you nod to the King, "Your Grace," you say to the Queen, "Princess," you say to Rhaenyra.

"Who is this?" you hear Viserys question, clearly confused by your presence. "My name is (y/n), your Grace," you explain, confused by his confusion, "I was summoned here to perform for the princess's name day." "I don't...quite recall summoning a troubadour to perform this evening," Viserys admits, making some of the nobles exchange looks. "I was summoned," you insist, pulling out the scroll, "a messenger brought this to me. It contains the king's seal."

  Viserys gestures for you to approach and hand you the scroll. He unrolls it to read it, "it does contain my seal," he admits, "but I do no recall commanding the scribes to write this."

"That's because I had the scribes write it," you hear a familiar voice behind you. You turn to see it was the same silver blonde man that had approached you the night before, as handsome and arrogant as he was, "forgive me, brother, I meant for this to be surprise. This young woman's voice and talent were a gift from the gods. I could not think of a gift better suited for the princess on her name day."

You briefly turn to the king, the back to Daemon, now realizing exactly who this man is.

Viserys concealed his ire at the fact his own brother went behind his back and carried out orders in his name, especially for something as petty as bringing one of his...companions to court. However the king was not about to cause a scene and start anything tonight, this was his daughter's day after all.

Sensing her father's annoyance, Rhaenyra stood up and spoke to you, "you must be quite talented to have garnered my uncle's interest," she says, "I should like to hear you for myself."

You look at Daemon, who had just taken a seat at the table, smirking from the whole thing, then back to the princess. You take a deep breath, tune your lute and play the song you had composed just this morning.

All while trying your best to conceal the annoyance and humiliation you felt was caused by the man seated on the very end of the table.

-----------End of Flashback: Kaer Morhen---------------------

The witchers that had taken residence in the witcher's keep for the winter were in the dinning hall for breakfast.

Ciri, who had just came to Kaer Morhen little less than a month ago, was scarfing down her food, eager to get started with her training.

"Slow down, girl," Lambert nudges the young girl, "you're going to get sick if you keep wolfing down your food like that." "I can't help it," Ciri says, swallowing whatever she had just eaten, "I want to learn how to fight."

"You have all the time in the world," Coen assured her, "you have all winter in fact."

"Well I want to get started as soon as I can," Ciri says, downing her cup of milk before standing up. She runs to the door, nearly bumping into Eskel on the way.

"Someone's eager to get started," Eskel jokes, joining his brothers and grabbing some bread. "Just wait till the end of the day when she comes back with bruises on her arms and cuts all over," Coen say.

Ciri ran to the keep's main door and opened it right when you were about to knock. "Oh uh, hello," you greet the young girl, "you must be Ciri. I've heard a lot about you." "Uh, who are you?" Ciri asks confused.

The other witchers in the main hall look to you, wondering how a stranger made it to their keep, and in your present condition.

"I'm looking for Geralt," you announce as you walk in, "he wouldn't to be here would he?"

"(y/n)?" you hear the aforementioned white haired witcher walk into the main hall, approaching you. "Hey, Geralt," you greet him, "it's been a long time. Years I'd say."

"It has," Geralt nods when he notices your swelled belly, "what have you been up to, (y/n)?"

"You know this woman?" Eskel asks. "She's Jaskier's sister," Geralt confirms, "looks like you've been up to a lot recently."

"That's a bit of an understatement," you admit.

----------------------

"So as you can all see," you say to Geralt and the other witchers at the table, "I uh, I'm expecting." "Was kinda hard not to notice," Lambert mutters, earning a nudge in the rib from Coen.

"So the last few years I've been spending some time overseas," you explain, A little place called Westeros. I spent most of the time there in this city playing songs and ballads at various taverns and brothels before I got in good with some uh, important people, and I ended up catching the attention of a certain person and long story short, we fucked over and over until..." you gesture to your baby bump.

"Does the father know?" Geralt asks. "No," you shake your head, "And I'd like it to stay that way. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew had to get away from that place as fast as I could. So here I am. This child needs to safe place to grow up in, and...this is the safest place I could think of."

"Ah uh, no, no way," Lambert shakes his head, "this is not a fucking nursery. We already have one brat running around this keep, we don't need another." "Lambert!" Geralt scolds, "Of course you can stay, (y/n), if you feel this is the best place to raise your child. Though I could think of more appropriate places."

"This is the best place, trust me on this," you assure, rubbing your bump. Eskel, Coen, and Lambert exchange looks, wondering why you chose Kaer Morhen of all places. Something wasn't quite adding up.

----------flashback-----------

Once you finished your composed song, you waited in anticipation hoping for approval with the royal family.

There was silence, then the princess Rhaenyra smiled and clapped; her family and the nobles joining in on the applause. You smile back before you begin your next song.

After your performance, you curtsy and move to take a break while the nobles mingle amongst themselves.

You pour yourself a glass of wine and step out on the balcony hoping to have some time to yourself.

That was short lived however when you felt the presence of another individual approach.

"An outstanding performance," you hear Daemon say, goblet of wine in hand as he stood next to you. You turn your gaze, still miffed at the deception.

"My niece speaks highly of you," the prince continues, sipping his wine, "She especially seems to like your ballad of the cursed knight and the Cintran princess."

"Why didn't you tell me who you are?" you ask, "why go through all this subterfuge just to bring me here?" "I don't quite understand what you are talking about, Little Lark," Daemon says, feigning innocence.

You turn to the Rogue Prince, heat in your cheeks from anger, "you humiliated me in there," you tell him, "I was under the impression I was here by order of the king, but it turned out I wasn't. It was you this whole time."

"I wouldn't say you were humiliated," Daemon shrugs, "quite the opposite with the way you wooed the lords and ladies with your siren voice." You scoff in disbelief, not knowing it was possible for someone to be this arrogant, "I don't know what game it is you're playing here, Prince," you say in a low tone, "but I want no part in it."

"I'm playing no games here, Little Lark" Daemon assures, "I merely provided you an opportunity." "Opportunity?" "To curry favor with the royal family and anyone else who may come your way." You look at Daemon, smirk on his handsome face, "should that be the case, I hope I may get to know you better."

You weren't sure if he was serious about what he just told you, but you still didn't want any part of his antics.

  "A very generous offer I am sure," you say, "but I do not anticipate staying here longer than than tonight." You sip your way and turn your back on Daemon, "good evening, your Grace."

When you walked back into the ball room, you were approached by Rhaenyra, "you played splendidly this night, (y/n)," the princess compliments, "I shall like you to play for me again." "I supposed I could do one more performance before this night ends," you tell her.

"That's not what I meant," Rhaenyra admits, "I wish for you to stay here and compose songs as my personal bard. I've already spoken with my father on this, and he believes this to be a good idea. You will be well paid for, I promise you that."

Your eyes widen a bit. It was an opportunity of a life time. You also remembered what Daemon had said, and wanted to refuse. But the look on Rhaenyra's face said this wasn't something you refuse the princess, especially since it was her name day.

You were silent for a moment before taking a small bow, "you honor me with this generous offer, princess. I shall play for you till my throat turns raw if you command me to do so."

Chapter 2

Masterlist

[bettsfic]

Hi Betts,

Thanks for continuously posting helpful advice.

I just wanted to know— how does someone go about getting to the point in their writing where they are not so precious with words in hopes of taking off the pressure when drafting?(in reference to a previous post)

i remember a few years ago, there was this very well known and popular fanartist whose name i won't give because they're no longer on tumblr or even going by their handle anymore. they received an ask much like this one in which they said something to the effect of, they could spend hundreds of hours on a piece of art and be willing to throw it away, because (and this is from memory because i can't find the original post) there will always be more art.

i remember being aghast about that. how could you spend so much time working on something and just...not do anything with it? scrap it and start over? maybe even delete the file?

and more importantly, i remember wondering how an artist could even reach that point.

maybe everyone gets there in a different way, but for me it was the emergence of a bigger picture, that i don't write to be read or seen or understood, but so i can explore things that can't otherwise be explored, and live experiences that can't be lived. for me, the value is in the process, not the product. and, to the artist's point, there will always be more words.

more concretely, it was also spending an entire year working on a novel, only to realize that what i wanted it to be was not what fit in the market, and that to make it marketable i would've had to have made revisions that would've changed the thing i wanted it to be. so i realized publication isn't endgame; it's happenstance. a few things i write may be marketable, but probably only a fraction of them, and only if what i write overlaps with what is being sold. a venn diagram of "stories that will be published" and "stories that i enjoy writing" are often two circles about a mile apart. whether or not a story is marketable doesn't affect my personal opinion of it.

the same is true for fanfic. if i finish a fic, i post it for the sake of archiving it. i don't pay much attention to traffic (but i do read comments), and it's been a long time since i've written consistently in a popular fandom. in fact the last fic i posted only had one other fic in the ship tag. the point of writing fic, for me, is to get it out of my brain and onto a page, and if someone eventually comes upon it and enjoys it, great.

i'm definitely not at the point where i can just straight-up delete work, but i can write something for a very long time and be satisfied even if no one ever looks at it. it does bum me out when i care about something so much and nobody else does or will, but that's the nature of writing, and art in general. nobody cares as much as you do, and even if you write something that's wildly successful, read and loved by millions, award-winning, adapted to screen--still, all those people will have their individual, private relationship with the thing you wrote, will perceive it in their own unique way, and even if it changes their life, the story can never give them what it gave you.

i don't mean for that to be depressing or deterring. what i hope you take from it is that your feelings toward your work are more important than anyone else's feelings toward it, and not everything has to be seen and admired in order to be worthy enough to exist. sometimes you have to take the risk of being unseen to create your best work.

[crystallinestars]

OMG thank you so much for your response 😭 You always answer very kindly and in a detailed manner ahahah it is always fun to read your posts ! For rant, where to begin… I’m straight up typing this on a document so that it’ll be easier to organize gyahahah. I hope the readers do not see this as an assault on certain people, just an exchange of ideas 😁This is like 1250 words, enough for a uni essay, I feel that at some points it may be rather incoherent…

So I guess I will start with the shipping thing ! So when it comes to Kaveh ships, I see that it is like 99% with Alhaitham. I guess it is because of the way the game sets them up. Not only do they live under the same roof but iirc they have extensive voicelines about each other. I won’t deny that they play an important role in each other’s lives! Like back from their Akademiya days when they were still friends and collaborated with each other, and then when they had their falling out, and then Kaveh falls into financial ruin and inevitably ends up turning to his former friend for help (much to his own shame and chagrin). If they’ve known each other for this many years, it is natural that they would have many things to say about each other. 

However, I guess this also opens up the way for BL fans to interpret this in a romantic manner. Ofc they could feel free to ship as they’d like, but just taking into account the ones who are so insistent that any other ship must be wrong, I will detail the following… 

For people who have been in each other’s lives for a long time (I’m thinking 10+ years for these two), it isn’t out of the ordinary to talk about each other. I talk about the people in my close circle a fair amount, same with the people I know. It doesn’t need to imply a secret crush. And regarding their interactions, they often throw shade at each other. This is also interpreted in a romantic manner by many fans. If we look at this in a more positive light, I remember a guy player noting that their kind of interaction is similar to IRL male friendships. Guys dissing or making fun of each other with no deeper meaning to it. Bros being bros kind of thing. But if we look at it critically, I would say that a relationship where they’re arguing all the time… is not ideal. Like a commenter on Reddit said something that stood out to me, that Kaveh just looks so stressed when he’s interacting with Haitham. 😅 Looking at it from this angle, it makes it difficult to romance the two ahahah (not because of a “problematic” aspect but rather because it isn’t fun watching them just constantly arguing and Kaveh being miserable from this). 

To digress a bit, my ideal Kaveh ships would be either Kaveh+Lumine or Kaveh+Nilou. The former because Lumine in his hangout quest helps him a lot, like helping him deal with his past and with many of his issues. Also I like the idea of Kaveh accompanying Lumine during her travels, nice way to keep her company. 😁 And for KavehLou their romantic+artsy personalities and their shared cultural connection!!! I feel like Kaveh would legit treat Nilou like a goddess ahahah and Nilou would definitely cheer him up when he’s struggling, and both of them have super good vibes so it’s 💯 green flags all around. I also want to see them celebrate Nowruz together… ahahah. 

And this kind of ties into my next point that because of the whole shippy thing, Kaveh is rarely seen as his own character. This is evident when you look up his name on Twitter. Most of it will be him with Haitham; the fandom treats him like he is Haitham’s add-on. For comparison, when I look up my other fave Scaramouche/Wanderer, I actually get art of JUST him. Not with Kazuha, Childe, or even Lumine. Just straight up Scara. Kaveh doesn’t get this solo treatment because much of the fandom just sees him as an extension of Haitham. The thing is that Kaveh is one of the most human and relatable characters in the game: he wants to be a good person, yet he does struggle with having his own personality flaws. He has financial struggles that he’s barely clawing his way out of. If we disregard his genius and extraordinary academic record, I think most people could see themselves in him. In other words, I’d say that he is a very solid character. I think it’s about high time we give him his own chance to shine, without feeble scholar getting in his way ahahah (no shade to you, Alhaitham !). Let Kaveh be his own person!

And another point I would like to make, it is something that is of interest to me because it does involve different cultural perspectives. Kaveh is commonly interpreted as “feminine.” There is no shame in being a feminine man. However, the basis of this interpretation is 1) his appearance and 2) his expressive behavior. Regarding his appearance, I think it is because he styles himself in a particular manner that people automatically assume he is “___-coded.” To address this, I’ve seen Iranian Genshin players explain that historically, it wasn’t uncommon for Iranian men to wear jewelry, dress flamboyantly, and enjoy the fine arts. But to outsiders’ eyes, doing these makes him “less of a man.” It is like how some male k-pop idols are seen as “girly” or even “gay” by many in the West, but for women in many east+southeast Asian societies they are perfectly acceptable men. Just that when they see him as “feminine” it often verges into fetishization territory… I’ll try not to play pixel activism here, but ngl it gets really gross and weird at times. A few weeks ago I had the misfortune of laying my eyes upon a Haitham+Kaveh fanart where Kaveh was basically (sorry for the description in advance) Haitham’s belly dancer/slave?? Of course fanartists have the freedom to draw whatever they want but this image was pretty much a symptom of how the fandom views Kaveh. 🙁 Even one of the well-known Iranian Genshin enjoyers called this out as fetishistic and orientalist (the latter term is often thrown around with regard to Sumeru, but I think that this instance actually warranted its use). 

In addition to his appearance, Kaveh is a very emotionally expressive man. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Because of this, this further contributes to fans thinking of him as “girly.” So I guess men aren’t “real men” if they are open with their emotions, if we go by the logic of the fandom? Haitham and other characters seen as “masculine” e.g. Diluc and Childe are given the “masculine” treatment because they demonstrate far more restraint with their emotions, while Kaveh gets the “uwu I’m a lil bbygirl in need of saving” treatment simply because he doesn’t hold back when it comes to his feelings. So from this there’s like so much stuff of him as “ohhh submissive prettyboy 🥺🥺🥺” instead of taking into account other aspects of his personality, like he could actually be assertive especially when dealing with annoying clients. It does him a true disservice…

I feel that I’m missing many more points that I’ve considered before, if I ever remember them I will probably send them in… I hope it does not come off as some sort of crusade call, but rather just an outpouring of thoughts. And hopefully this is a decently entertaining read ^^;;;;

WELCOME BACK!!! I have been waiting for your lovely essay on how Kaveh gets done dirty by the fandom, and it made me so happy to see you and I share a lot of opinions in common on this! (That's a lot of text though. I don't mind the length at all, but I'm surprised the word limit let you hahaha)

To your amazing analysis, I respond to you with an essay of my own.

I completely agree with your points that people who have known each other for a long time would naturally have a lot to say about each other. Even if they haven't known each other for long, when people live in close quarters together, they definitely have things to say about one another, especially negative ones. The bickering Kaveh and Alhaitham have is expected since they're roommates, and on top of that, roommates that had a falling out as friends. Their relationship is a bit strained since neither wants to admit they were wrong in the past due to their pride.

I work 5 days a week with a coworker of mine, and I have a lot to say about her because we work closely together. Does that mean I'm romantically attracted to her? No, not at all. Quite the opposite. Unfortunately, this logic doesn't apply to fiction quite so easily, and I'll cover why in a bit.

The point about them acting like real-life guy friends is also very true, although I think their relationship fits a sitcom more closely. I know someone who said Kaveh and Haitham's relationship reminds them of Leonard and Sheldon's from The Big Bang Theory. Two guys living together, constantly bickering and throwing shade, but caring about one another deep down.

Lord, I can write a whole separate essay on why I think Kaveh and Alhaitham don't work as a romantic couple, but I won't do that here. This post is already gonna be long. Maybe another time.

However, I do want to say that while you make excellent points on how Kaveh and Haitham's relationship isn't inherently romantic, there is a very big BUT to all this. And that's Mihoyo.

As an anime game developer, Mihoyo knows all about the anime community. After all, the founders were all otakus, they know what kind of audience they have. They know what is popular, and what's popular is BL. There is not a single excuse anyone can give me that can convince me otherwise that Mihoyo didn't know exactly what they were doing when they wrote Kaveh and Haitham to be roommates. They didn't have to write them to live together. They didn't have to write all the extra dialogue where they mention each other. They didn't have to do the matching key idles, the references to the other in their birthdays, or introduce Kaveh through Alhaitham TWICE. They knew how their audience will interpret their dynamic, they had the option to structure it differently, but they still went through with it. It was deliberate.

Kaveh was introduced with Haitham, and ever since, they have consistently been shown together. It's as if they are literally glued to each other. Can't go a single birthday, event, quest, or otherwise without the other being present in some way. It is all intentional. Their interactions and cameos carry intent behind them that shippers pick up on, and that intent is to appeal to their group. So while it's erroneous to claim that Kaveh and Haitham are canonically in a romantic relationship the way a lot of toxic shippers are doing, there is a good reason why they think so. Mihoyo is actively encouraging this mindset by not allowing either character to shine on their own, but rather as a pair because they know this appeals to a subsection of their fanbase, and a large one at that.

As for your Kaveh ships, I agree 100%! Lumine is a good choice for sure (I say this as a kavelumi shipper *gets shot*), and while I don't ship it, I understand the reasoning behind Kavelou, and think it's cute. Nilou would be a really good influence on Kaveh. He always laments about how nobody understands his passion for the arts, but Nilou would. They're both artists that are trying to eke their own path in a society that doesn't appreciate art. Nilou, as you mentioned, would cheer him up, and I think Kaveh would also find peace of mind through her dancing. Kaveh needs someone optimistic and kind like Nilou.

While we're on the topic of Kaveh ships, I would also like to suggest my own that I really like. Kaveh x Candace. Please don't shoot me. Candace is strict and no-nonsense, so she wouldn't let Kaveh get away with constantly self-sabotaging himself. And unlike Haitham, she is gentle and almost motherly, so she'd be more successful in getting through to Kaveh and soothing him. Or so I like to think. Kaveh would also help her see the outside world more, maybe have her accompany him through the desert and show her beautiful sights she'd never see by staying cooped up in her village. Plus, he's literally helping to construct a library for her village! There is so much potential for them to bond over Aaru village yet Hoyo keeps pushing the same relationships, I am so tired-

But of course, for me, the best ship of all will forever be Kaveh x You/Reader. On my blog, every guy I write for loves you, and only you. Please don't kill me.

Carrying on, you are right in that Kaveh isn't seen as his own person. You'd be hard-pressed to find (popular) art of him that doesn't imply Haitham in there somewhere. Is it so surprising, though, when even the game developer treats them as a package deal?

I feel you, it's a pity. Kaveh's character is very complex and one of the most realistic. When I read his backstory, I couldn't help but think as if someone in Mihoyo put a part of themselves in his character. The struggles he goes through are realistic, painfully so, even. I've also seen lots of artists say they relate to Kaveh. He has so much to explore about him, but I fear that outside of the Darshan event and his hangout, we'll never get to see more.

Okay, so. I have mentioned before on this blog how I am annoyed at how Kaveh is viewed as feminine and submissive due to his appearance and emotional nature. You've already touched on all the points, so excuse me for sounding like a broken record, but I have A LOT to say about this.

There is nothing wrong with being feminine. There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man. What is wrong, however, is associating femininity with submission.

Kaveh has traits that are often associated with femininity, which, as you pointed out, are his neat and pretty looks and emotional expressiveness (the bit about Iranian men traditionally wearing jewelry is super interesting, btw. I didn't know, so this was enlightening!). To this, I also want to add that lots of people think he acts like a nagging wife with Alhaitham. That's basically all it takes for people to slap him with the "feminine" label, and treat him as if he's a submissive, blushy, uwu bbgurl I want to delete this term from existence

I know that men the West views as "feminine/girly" are often popular among women in Asia, and it really just comes down to culture and a matter of taste. I share their taste in men because I also find K-Pop idols and smooth-faced, slim anime guys more attractive than muscular and rugged men, and by no means do I think they're girly. But alas, each culture has expectations for how men and women are supposed to look and act, and it's led to more harm than good.

It's also unfortunate that Kaveh gets compared to Alhaitham a lot. Alhaitham is what one would call traditionally masculine. Muscular, stoic, reserved, aloof, etc... But especially the muscular part. Kaveh isn't muscular, and as we saw in the Darshan event, isn't athletic. This difference in physique is also a reason people call him feminine. I saw someone say (in a shipping context) that they prefer Kaveh to be submissive because Alhaitham is taller and bigger than him. Nothing wrong with wanting a sub Kaveh, but I find this reasoning very flawed. Fetishistic, if you will.

And yes, the "one man is a dom/top while the other is a sub/bottom" mentality follows a lot of BL ships. People literally fight with each other over who they believe should be the top or bottom. There are even specific emojis for it. Don't know why people are so hung up about who tops or who bottoms, but what do I know. I don't understand the appeal of BL at all 🫤

Gosh, I'm sorry you had to see that belly dancer art... I once saw a ship art where Kaveh wore a wedding dress while Haitham wore a suit. It wasn't a silly context, either, but a serious and romantic one. I really dislike seeing art of Kaveh being feminine or acting submissive because that's not him at all.

Please look at this official art. Look at how Kaveh casually stuffs his hand in his pocket, at how he sits with his legs spread wide without a care in the world, at how he slings Mehrak over his shoulder. Look at how confidently and casually he carries himself. His body language screams "masculine".

Kaveh is confident, prideful, assertive, bold... I could go on. These are also traits usually associated with men. I mean, look at how he talks about one of his seniors in his hangout!

He's got quite the mouth and a temper.

He's not shy, far from it, actually. He's not submissive. He's not a dainty damsel in distress than needs someone stronger to help him, because in actuality, he's resourceful and intelligent.

Kaveh is self-assured in his masculinity. Sure, he's not a big, buff man, and he wears his heart on his sleeve, but that doesn't make him less of a man or weak. Maybe physically a bit, but I don't think he's below average in terms of strength. He makes up for it with his smarts and invents things to circumvent his shortcomings. This part of him gets overlooked, because he gets compared to Alhaitham. It doesn't help that the two are always seen together lately.

In my humble opinion, Kaveh is more of a dom than Alhaitham will ever be. Haitham gives me vibes of being someone who's too lazy to put in the work in bed, so he'd rather lie back and let his partner lead. Meanwhile, Kaveh isn't afraid to go after what he wants, and will pamper his partner.

In conclusion, you are very right about everything. If Mihoyo wasn't purposely throwing ship crumbs at every opportunity, then Kaveh potentially wouldn't have had his character assassinated by the fandom. Every character gets mischaracterized to some degree (I weep for Childe), but unlike most, Kaveh's mischaracterization is largely in part due to shipping.

Apologies for the massive tangent. I had a lot of fun reading your analysis and mentally screaming "YES! YES! SHE GETS IT! I'm not the only one!", so thank you for sending this in. Don't worry, it was very well put-together, probably better than my rambling. I found out some new points, and had a few of mine validated, so feel free to send another essay if you think of more things. I love deep and thoughtful discussions like these haha!

[jayzfort]

Remember that time? || Panville

A/N- I've decided to embark on a series of short drabbles centered on non-canon ships, such as Panville, Fremione, Harmione, and Druna. However, my main focus will be on Panville/Fremione. These drabbles will each have a specific theme. For example, in 'Remember when?', we'll take a trip down memory lane with Pansy and Neville, tracing their journey throughout the years. As for Fred and Hermione, I'm contemplating a similar approach. Perhaps we'll witness them navigating the complexities of married life, with Fred as the proprietor of a joke shop and Hermione serving as the Minister of Magic. Also, the pictures I have used, are not mine. Credits to the original artists. If at all anyone wishes for me to tag the artists, please let me know. Thank you.

Remember when we met accidentally?

Pansy observed her husband, Neville, tending to the plants in their backyard from the kitchen window. Setting aside her dishwashing duties, she abandoned the dishes and the drying cloth and made her way to the backyard greenhouse. Leaning against the door frame, she watched Neville potting a Belladonna plant with his back turned to her. It had become a habit for Pansy to twist her wedding band around her finger, a silent reassurance that despite the trials they faced after the war, everything had turned out alright. She had transformed into a better person.

Smiling at the sight of Neville engrossed in his botanical pursuits, she decided to playfully comment, "Nice arse you've got there, Mr. Longbottom." Startled, Neville turned to her, his face flushing red. Despite his heroics during the war, Pansy loved how her remarks could still make him blush. "Why thank you, but please, keep your comments to yourself. My wife won't be too happy; she's very possessive," he replied with a chuckle.

"That I am, and perhaps you should relay that message to the young women who flirt with you every time you visit Diagon Alley," Pansy retorted matter-of-factly, earning another laugh from Neville as he wiped his hands on a rag. "I'm going to miss you, Nev," she murmured, resting her head on his chest.

"Don't worry, love. I'll only be gone for a month, and then you'll join me," Neville reassured her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "A month is a long time. You're choosing your Hogwarts plants over your wife. I'll remember that the next time you come asking for plant-growing potions," Pansy joked softly.

"Parkinson, who taught you to be so dramatic? Aren't you supposed to be the independent pureblood woman you were raised to be?" Neville teased, gently tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Shut up, Longbottom," she replied, rising on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"Baby, Remember when we met after the war?" she asked softly, her gaze lingering on their wedding bands, which gleamed in the sunlight filtering into the greenhouse.

"Please have a seat, Pansy," Headmistress McGonagall instructed as Pansy entered her office, her mind swirling with apprehension. After clearing up the potions desk following her last class with the fourth-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, Pansy had received a summons from the Headmistress via her patronus, leaving her feeling uneasy throughout dinner. With the recent capture of ex-Death Eaters, even those who had previously been granted leniency, Pansy couldn't shake the feeling that she might be called in for questioning as well.

"May I come in?" Pansy politely knocked on the door before entering the office, where she greeted McGonagall before taking a seat opposite the headmistress.

"Pansy, I have some news that I would like to discuss with you first," McGonagall began, her tone serious. Pansy nodded, her nerves evident as she fidgeted with her nails, a habit she had developed during the war when feeling anxious.

"I hope you remember Mister Longbottom, Neville Longbottom," McGonagall began, and Pansy couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at the mention of that name. It was a name that haunted her, stirring up memories of regret and remorse every time it crossed her path – in newspapers, in crowds, anywhere. She had often fantasized about approaching him, falling to her knees, and pleading for his forgiveness for the countless reasons that weighed heavily on her conscience – from the taunts she had subjected him to during their school years to her inability to intervene when the Carrows tortured him during the war.

"Yes, Professor," Pansy replied, her voice catching in her throat. She felt an uncomfortable lump forming, rendering her speechless as she could do little more than nod in response to McGonagall's words.

"I have decided to appoint him as the Herbology professor after the Christmas break. Pomona took immediate retirement after she broke her leg going to the greenhouses last week." The revelation that Neville would be taking on the role caught Pansy off guard. It was an unexpected twist.

"I hope you have no problem, considering you'll be colleagues with an ex-classmate," McGonagall concluded. Pansy felt a mix of emotions flood over her. On one hand, she was relieved to be spared from questioning. On the other, she was apprehensive about facing Neville, the person she owed so many apologies to. Masking her true feelings with a practiced smile, she replied in a professional tone honed from years of navigating the intricacies of pureblood society.

"Of course, it will be delightful to have a colleague with whom I've shared seven years of classes," she said, rising from her seat and exiting the room.

Fast forward to the Christmas break, with most students having returned home for the holidays, Neville had arrived and was settling in. He easily mingled with the other teachers, who quickly warmed up to him. Even the few students staying behind during the break found themselves drawn to Neville's friendly and amiable demeanor.

However, it seemed that Professor Parkinson, Head of Slytherin and Potions Master of Hogwarts, was the only one giving the new professor the cold shoulder. It wasn't intentional; she simply couldn't bring herself to approach him and pretend that the past hadn't happened.

Rumors began circulating among the sixth and seventh year girls, the ones known for their mischief, suggesting that Pansy and Neville had attempted to date in their seventh year but had a falling out. Little did they know, their seventh year was overshadowed by the war.

One day, a deep voice interrupted her thoughts, a voice that belonged to a tall, broad-shouldered, handsome man. Neville Longbottom stood in her office, a sight that caught her off guard. He exuded confidence, with his sharp jawline, disheveled sandy hair, and muscular arms straining against his rolled-up sleeves. My god, he was going to be the death of her.

"Neville—sorry, Professor Longbottom? Uh, how may I help you? Please, come in," she stammered, trying to compose herself. But facing Neville, now transformed into a confident and striking man, was proving difficult. His presence seemed to fill the room, and she found herself unable to meet his gaze.

"Sorry, Professor, I was caught off guard. How may I help you?" she continued, turning away to busy herself with potion ingredients.

"Pansy? You know there aren't any students around. You don't need to be formal. We're classmates," he remarked casually, sensing her discomfort.

"I believe formality is necessary, especially during work hours. What is it that you need?" she replied, her tone more curt than intended. Instantly, she regretted her sharpness, reminded of how she had treated him during their school years.

"Plant growth hormone enhancement potion, please," Neville requested, keeping it simple. But then he realized that his recent interactions with the Potions professor had been a bit tense, so he decided to take a chance.

"Professor, I've noticed that I've been warmly welcomed by the students and all the other professors, except you. Is there another way you'd like to welcome me? Perhaps a late-night rendezvous at the greenhouses?" he added, flashing a playful wink.

Pansy found herself at a loss for words. Was Neville Longbottom flirting with her? As much as she wanted to feel flattered, guilt consumed her. She couldn't ignore the fact that she had made his life miserable during their seven years at Hogwarts. She had been a terrible person, allowing him to be bullied and tortured. If she were in his shoes, she would never forgive herself. In fact, she might even take legal action to keep her away.

"Flirting? You have the audacity to flirt with me after everything I put you through?" Pansy burst out, her voice rising with each word. She couldn't contain the surge of emotions flooding her, the guilt, the regret, and the self-loathing.

"How can you pretend that the seven years at Hogwarts didn't happen, that I didn't make your life a living hell? I was cruel, Neville. I let you be tormented, I stood by and did nothing. If I were you, I wouldn't even want to look at me, let alone flirt!" Her words came out in a rush, fueled by years of pent-up remorse and shame.

Neville's expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding. "Pansy, that was a long time ago. We were kids, and we've both grown since then. I don't hold any grudges, and I certainly don't blame you for what happened. We've all made mistakes."

But Pansy couldn't shake off the weight of her past actions. "No, you don't understand. You were always kind, always brave, even when I didn't deserve it. I'm sorry, Neville. I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

Neville approached Pansy slowly, his gaze gentle as he reached out to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Pansy, it's okay. We were both different people back then. We've all made mistakes, but that doesn't define who we are now."

His touch was comforting, a warmth spreading through her as she met his eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity and compassion reflected in them. "You were just as much a victim of the circumstances as I was. We were all caught up in something much bigger than ourselves," he said softly.

Pansy nodded, a sense of relief washing over her at his understanding. "Thank you, Neville. For being so understanding, for forgiving me," she murmured, her voice choked with emotion.

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their shared past hanging in the air between them. Then, with a tentative smile, Neville suggested, "How about we start over? Leave the past behind us and focus on the present. Friends?"

Pansy returned his smile, feeling a glimmer of hope blooming within her. "Friends," she agreed, knowing deep down that their bond would only grow stronger with time.

As they shared a brief moment of camaraderie, both Pansy and Neville couldn't help but sense the unspoken connection between them, a silent acknowledgment that perhaps, just perhaps, their journey together was far from over.

The warmth of their embrace lingered for a moment longer, enveloping them in a cocoon of shared memories and unspoken promises. But just as quickly as it had begun, their intimate moment was interrupted by the sound of three loud shrieks, echoing through the greenhouse.

Neville and Pansy turned towards the source of the noise, their children rushing towards them with boundless energy. August, their son, reached out eagerly for his mother, while Alice and Francesa clamored for their father's attention.

"Well, we had a good 15 minutes to ourselves, didn't we?" Pansy remarked with a playful grin, scooping up August into her arms as their daughters enveloped Neville in a tight embrace.

Despite the interruption, there was a sense of contentment in the air as they gathered together as a family, the love and warmth shared between them serving as a reminder of the precious moments they cherished together.

[katiefrog217]

10 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @eviebane for the tag!!

No pressure tagging: @bellisima-writes @knifeforkspooncup @thatskindarough @nik-knight @onceuponapuffin @quoththemaiden

1. How many works do you have on AO3? |

Currently two!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

8,934 if I added right. I've written well beyond that but it's not published or published to AO3.

3. What Fandoms do You Write For?

Currently Good Omens! Back about 10 ish years ago, I used to write a lot of Hetalia and Pokemon (if you were on DA/Quotev and read reader inserts in the 2010s, I'm sorry) and also had a short stint with Yuri on Ice. If we go for never published stuff, Inuyasha.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I try my best to at least - I really like interacting with comments and seeing what people have to say!

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Actually yes - quite a few times! Tbh I wouldn't be surprised if they are still being stolen to this day by random Wattpad users (it was always fucking Wattpad). My fic "Just the Way You Are (BTT X Reader) [yes I was that songfic author - again I'm sorry] was stolen quite often, along with a few others. As a result I'm quite protective over my fics - used to do line editing so I could put my name extremely small in the text so when it was copy pasted my name showed up multiple times haha.

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No! I haven't actually - did some creative writing prompts between people in discord before and am part of an ongoing project but as of this moment I haven't. Have helped my girlfriend with her own stuff but that's for the most part her own thing.

7. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Fuck I have to pick ONE? Sweating rn uhhhh... I have two of equal measure I can think of off the top of my head: AziraCrow (Aziraphale x Crowley - Good Omens) and Hualian (Hua Cheng x Xie Lian - Heaven Official's Blessing).

8. What are your Writing Strengths?

If I go off what people tell me: heavily immersive and visual writing. And characterization. And short form story writing.

9. What are your Writing Weaknesses?

My inability to focus on a single project, along with my terrible habit of starting fics on a whim before abandoning it because I have no idea where the story was going in the first place. My ADHD makes my motivation come and go like the wind so I can go months without updating anything, and led to a lot of my old ones getting abandoned. I also have a terrible habit of dragging scenes out because I tend to want to explain a lot of things, which leads me to procrastinate a lot when I can't think of how to describe what I want. I'm trying to get better at it. Oh, and a personal pet peeve of mine is not being able to write a fic under 5k words, because I don't like publishing shorter fics, especially self contained ones. I admire people who are able to publish shorter stories a lot, I just personally get really anxious over putting out something that wasn't at least 5 word document pages long as a chapter.

10. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

If we count unpublished and never seen the light of day, it was Inuyasha. It was a fic called "The Golden Arrow", which was based off a dream I had somewhere in the early 2010's. The only one who saw anything for it was a school friend of mine, and while I generally remember the gist of it, it's been lost to time for the most part, as it was written on an app on an old phone I have but lost the cord to.

If we wanna talk actually published to the internet, I'm pretty sure it was Pokemon.

[devilsainz]

First, Thank you @watercolor-hearts for tagging me! when i saw it i knew it wouldnt be an easy task (mostly because i love to talk a lot lmao) but i liked the concept and felt that it would be interesting way to dive more into the ships i am fond of.

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here are the rules:

1. List your top seven ships.

2. Put them all in order for your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favourite.

3. Name the fandom.

4. Put a picture of the guys in question.

-

7. Ziam (Zayn/Liam Payne) (One Direction)

weird way to start this list, since its not f1 related, and i very much believe it's a dead ship now. But honestly they deserve this honorable mention for being the first ship i adopted, and i didnt even care about One Direction or their music around that time (in fact i cant remember even how i stumbled upon this ship lmao). These two together just had so much chemistry for me, either on stage, interviews, or anything really. also they were my introduction to this whole idea of "ship" (Larry was the absolute more popular one obviously, but it was Ziam that really SUCKED me in like a vacuum cleaner). Unfortunately, Liam's distasteful comments last year bursted my bubble about them (even though he has explained this year he wasn't in a good place, and i personally think they are okay with each other, even though still distant), but i still like to watch their compilation videos on youtube sometimes, it's quite bittersweet :')

6. Martian (Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber) (Formula 1)

honestly i feel i just dont put these two higher because they feel somewhat new to me, like i need to dive into them more. I just think its such a fun ship in the sense that it has a looot of things going on at the same time, their very public rivalry and the famous multi 21, mark's angry face at that one press conference, it could be so so angsty but they just make me laugh (also, the making love on track quote is now burned into my brain so in no way they could be out of this list).

5. Christian horner/Toto wolff (Formula 1)

okay okay this is the part yall realize im actually crazy. but... they DO have chemistry when they are interacting, even in their non-amicable moments, and i do love myself some good enemies to lovers. Obviously it helps that i think they both are very actrattive, sexy middle aged men that have hunger for victory and i believe they hold so much respect and admiration for each other, considering they are the two most sucessfull TP's at this point. Also, HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

4. Versainz (Max Verstappen/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

(i wanted to find that ONE gif where he lifts carlos a little so bad but this one will do) Oh, this one really rocketed fast into my favorites. I just think they are just so wholesome. I always feel Max is warmer towards a certain number of drivers, and Carlos is one of them. And i dont even ship them in a ... kind of way, even tho it makes sense in my head the narrative that both were each others "first's" before going into bigger ships. Its just that it feels so special that both debuted together as teammates and, both took different trajectories in the way their career planned out, but theres still a genuine connection between them, at least in my view.

3. Maxiel (Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo) (Formula 1)

I know its weird because i dont really post about them. But this falls into the same category as versainz for me, except that here there's a kind of dynamic that it makes me go "hmm... interesting". I always like to see max smiling and being happy because this boy went thru so much in his childhood, and oh how Daniel knows how to bring this side of Max. If Max can be warmer to certain drivers, for Daniel he has a whole SOFT SPOT, and i think that's very endearing. IMO, Daniel feels like the person that changed him in deeper ways we know, that one person that was indirectly a "life teacher" to him maybe, and thats special to me.

2. Brocedes (Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg) (Formula 1)

Oh, the ANGSTY in this one. yes, this one deserves the ANGSTY in all caps because to me that's them. Oh to have lived through their divorce must have been heartbreaking but what a freaking cinematic ship this one is. I just can't ignore it. How it feels to me that Nico is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, while Lewis has that chilling Capricorn control over his emotions is so. just so. And the fact that Nico's legacy is forever entangled in Lewis' name. If a movie screenwriter would come up with this, i'd think it would be overdramatic, but no, theyre actually this unhinged.

Charlos (Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

how do i even start talking about these two idiots? Okay, so obviously i think they're both very attractive and that definetely helped me to ship them lmao. But thats kind of reductive, because these two have sooo much chemistry in my opinion, even before their ferrari days, there was so much potential waiting to bloom, and it did. I love their banter, their competitiveness, how they can get childlike around each other sometimes. How they are so physical, how they make each other laugh (let me not talk about their gazes to each other or i will not end this today). I love how Carlos doesn't hide he wants to compete with Charles (which brings him unnecessary hate sadly), and how both respect each other in this stance. There's a bit of angsty underneath this soft/fluffy surface too (more from Carlos' perspective imo - but lets not forget Charles and Silverstone 2022 too - this is my charlos angsty origin story), but they still find their way, and that kind of compels me even more into them. I just think theres so many layers, multitudes, in the way we can create, write and read about them. Absolute favorites.

-

Tagging @schumiatspa and @sainzjpeg 😊

obviously, feel free to ignore if you dont want to play, no hard feelings around here ❤, and also 7 ships are quite a work! if you're not tagged but want to make your list, feel free to do it and consider yourself tagged by me 😘

[golden--doodler]

Geneuary Day Eleven: Keyboard/Candy

Linda: Ohh, Bobby, it's perfect!! Our Geney Zucchini's going to love these gifts for Christmas. You did so well. 🥰

Bob: Thanks, Lin. But, uhh, was it a good idea to give him both a noisy keyboard and a bunch of chocolate for Christmas?? I don't think we'll remember quiet for at least two weeks.

This is it. We made it guys. It's officially the last day of Geneuary!! This might be the most emotional I've been posting a piece of artwork. For this last piece, it *gasp* doesn't have Gene!! 😱 Crazy, I know. I decided to draw Bob and Linda along with Gene's signature keyboard and favorite candy, just to show how he got a love of Chunky Blast-Offs and his keyboard in the first place.

What a wild ride this month has been. Geneuary could not have been possible without the incredible support of everyone involved. I'd like to shoutout @drawthethingdoppelganger for making that beautiful, gorgeous graphic of all of the prompts for this month. And also for making that amazing Gene as Dolly Parton art.

I'd also like to shoutout @babsvibes, because her huge document on how to run a Ship Week was crucial in helping me run this month. I don't think I would've been able to do it without her document guiding me along (the only thing I wasn't able to do was have a separate blog, but we all know how that went ☠️). Babs was also technically the one who came up with the concept for Geneuary in the first place (both the name and having eleven prompts because of Gene being eleven).

I also must shoutout @unclefathersantateddy for being an absolute boss and making an extended Geneuary by making an entire page of Genes!! The final product is gorgeous, and I'm just in awe of their talent.

@br1ghtestlight was able to make two of the cutest fics for this month that everyone should go read!! One of them was a (sort of) collab with me.

@ratguy-nico reblogged almost all of my art with the sweetest comments, and his art for this month has been insane and beautiful. My favorite might still be the one with the Hot Dog family.

@dianadeadwing has also produced some of my favorite art this month. One of my favorites was the ballerina Gene she just posted yesterday. And of course, the one where Gene is hugging Bob 🥺❣️

I might've forgotten a person or two, but these are all of the main people I wanted to mention!! Thank you all!!

[ID]: Digital fanart of Bob and Linda from Bob's Burgers. Only their heads can be seen, and Bob looks more nervous, whilst Linda looks happier, with a huge grin on her face, and a heart next to her. A rather large keyboard is above them, along with a brown box with a spaceship on it. It reads: "Chunky Blast-Offs! Out of this World!"

[art-of-firefly]

Hi there! I saw that you commented that the Japanese and Korean parts of the KnB fandom are still really active on Twitter - I was wondering if you had some hashtags / accounts on there to recommend to get started? I recently got back into KnB after years and have been so dejected at the lack of content (that I can find). Thank you so much for your time and help!

Of course, i'll be delighted to share them with you !

Little tip, if you follow several of them, you can be sure to discover new KnB artists every week thanks to the fanarts they retweet ! And I've probably forgotten a lot of those I follow.

Warning to anyone reading this : DON'T REPOST THEIR ART ANYWHERE ! Some people on Tumblr feel a little too comfortable reposting fanart on their blog, without the artists' permission and without giving credit. You must do both to be allowed to repost someone else's creation. And most of them don't speak English, so it won't be possible.

I'm on a crusade against art thefts i hate them so much you can't imagine.

Many artists delete their accounts and stop posting their works online when they notice it has been reposted. So if your morale isn't enough to stop you, remember that.

Now the fun stuff !

Links to their twitter accounts and some infos on what they draw the most. Personally, while I have a few favorite ships, none of them bother me and I love seeing new fanart, regardless of the ship featured. But if some of them aren't your cup of tea they'll be easier to avoid with the infos i added. Plus, I'm bad at organizing, so it's messy but it still took me waaay too long so I don't have the energy to change it.

NijiAka

m_wmin : Mostly Nijimura, Haizaki & Akashi. Also a lot of NijiAka and some NijiHai I'm in love with their artstyle i could cry looking at it

PG173AB : NijiAka, Akashi and Nijimura. Their art is beautiful and they post so often, So shiny and pretty <3 <3 <3

hhcf060419 : MayuAka, NijiAka, NijiAkaMayu, Their art is soooooo adorable

ninama_ak : NijiAka, MayuAka, NashAka

kasuge

MidoTaka

te_01r

mny__0

Tmr_yzr

0r0r_0r0r

an92679738

OhAasaNANO

yu_zu_cka : MidoTaka MuraHimu

moisama23

Mostly 1 character but they draw everyone

AKAXKB : Akashi

puyn888 : Shutoku

eijo_q : Aomine

1223_cbf : Akashi

omotikonetemasu : HAIZAKI ! No joke this is probably Haizaki N°1 fan and their art is so beautiful (also NijiHai)

kaiak425 : Akashi

qhshqhd : Akashi

TT_am618 : Kuroko

frappuccino_168 : Kuroko

P1EAS3 : Everyone, moslty GoM

hibi_krbs : Kise

kiriri_prsk : Akashi & Kuroko

otya_11071 : Kuroko, Kise and Akashi

14lumlum : Akashi

pipimo_m : Murasakibara & Kuroko

Akakuro

dazeee749

Vanilla_kurx17

home_otonari

inutaro63

SpearMint1412

MayuAka

Rouns_

kamiyama08k

mizunoseam

otasa_1203

cNsDSS5UY8vZlWd

Others

kur0413 : NijiHai

zncjo : KagaKuro

shi___o__ra3 : MuraHimu

chiyo_mr : AkaFuri

capGcap : KiKasa

ki_chiaa2 : Izuki & Hayama (HayaIzu ? IzuHaya ? IzuKota ? i don't know their ship name sorry, but the art is gorgeous)

gami_zm : Kagakuro

[dreaming-marchling]

fic writer meme

Thank you @smilebackwards for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 33

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 1,855,326 per my stats page - it's kind of wild!

3. What fandoms do you write for? My current two mains are Shadowhunters and Fast and Furious. I have in the past posted stories for Daredevil, Merlin, Harry Potter, Torchwood, The Defenders, Sherlock, Four Brothers and Suits. I have other fandoms I've started fics in but not finished/posted

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Day Forty Seven [7055] Set Free [4285] Marked in Trust [4132] Listen [3934] Four Centuries and Also Nineteen Years [3876]

5. Do you respond to comments? I respond to all comments while the story is in progress and then for probably a couple of months after it ends before I stop. Unless someone asks a specific question, then I always respond. I wish I could do all of them ever but life makes it hard.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I almost answered none of them before I remembered Addicted, which is about Brian and Dom hooking up during the first movie which I mostly wrote to prove to myself I could do smut. I'm pretty sure it ends with Brian realizing Mia (who he's supposed to be maybe getting together with as per the movie) heard them do that and Dom knew she would and from there Brian understanding that they're imploding even without him and the FBI.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Literally all the others, lol. I'm a happy ending girlie.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yes, in the Shadowhunters fandom if I write Jace as a good parabatai. Occasionally for if I write Isabelle as a good sister or Clary as not a total piece of shit. Also sometimes if I write Alec in a way that suggests maybe Magnus isn't the greatest in the world who has suffered more than Alec ever will.

9. Do you write smut? Yes but I generally prefer the fade to black approach

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? I've never written a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of I don't think. I don't even know if I would want to know, like that would consume me in the worst way

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, but not as Marchling. All of the comments were telling me that the translator was changing things and it was a bad translation and the person doing it was getting really weird. It was just like a nightmare kind of so now I request no one translate my fics. I'm sure someone would do it better and I'm just being all oversensitive because I got burned once but I'd rather just not go down that road again.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, but also not as Marchling.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? I honestly don't think I have one, it really depends on my mood.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh absolutely. I have a couple of Shadowhunters stories that I doubt will ever be finished because they just don't want to be written I think. I love the ideas but the ideas don't love me

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I write dialogue well. I try to make sure that I include some sort of realistic recovery even if the story is shorter. I like to experiment with formatting to help tell the story and I think it's generally effective

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I can't write drabbles. I am not good at action scenes. I don't do enough description.

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? I've been corrected in the comments more than once, lol. I like to do the dialogue in another language but write the English in italics so even if I'm wrong everyone still knows what it was meant to be.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I was like 11 or 12 and I posted my first two stories at the same time. One for a fandom I won't name because they're still out there and it's small enough you could find them and I'd rather die. The other for Angel the TV series. I got more comments on the other fandom one and so I was embarrassed that the Angel one got way less and I deleted it lmao. Did I mention I was in middle school?

20. Favorite fic you have written? I am so proud of so many of my stories but I think the Marked in Trust series is always going to be just the tiniest bit extra special in my heart.

tagging literally anyone who wants to play

[acearcane]

3, 10, 20, 23

Salty Ask Game Answers, Pt. 1

For the sake of these questions, I will be talking about The Umbrella Academy, The Owl House, and Percy Jackson, as those are the three fandoms I care the most about ^.^

I'm going to get pretty salty (at least by my standards) so remember, these are just my opinions. I do not define right or wrong, and I don't claim to. Please don't come for me :)

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Heh, I have. If you've hung around my blog for long enough (or gotten me yapping in your DMs), you might've cued in to the fact that I feel pretty strongly about the way some parts of the Umbrella Academy fandom treats Five. More specifically, the way he's sexualized and reduced to a dom daddy. It makes me very uncomfortable, as until recently (namely Season 4) he was in the physical body of a minor and being portrayed by a minor. Yes, he's technically in his late 50s, I fully understand that. But it personally really weirds me out, so yes, I've unfollowed others in the fandom over differences on that topic.

I can excuse murder, but I can't excuse pedophilia. /ref

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Let's do a Percy Jackson answer for this one! I'm sorry, but Caleo. I do not like Caleo. That whole romance arc felt very unnecessary to me, not to mention Calypso is an immortal goddess?? And Leo is just a teen?? The age gap was a bit funky for sure. I love Uncle Rick, I'm so thankful to him for his unabashed inclusivity in his books, but I have such beef when it comes to his need to put all of his characters into romantic relationships. Yes yes they're teens, that's what teens do, but also! They don't all need romance! *sobs in aromantic*

*checks notes* No comments on The Owl House, 'tis a work of art and I have no complaints there, yes yes.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

This answer comes from a place of pure bias, but Huntlow. I absolutely love Huntlow, and they're honestly so sweet and pure in my opinion. Plant girl and her tree boy; Willow, who struggles with self-image, and Hunter, who thinks she's the coolest thing since sewing machines; Hunter, who's used to taking orders and living to serve someone, and Willow, who helped teach him how to fight back and love himself. I could talk about these two for hours, I love them so so much.

Not to mention I love the bi/pan representation!! It's an excellent reminder that het-passing relationships aren't always heterosexual. Bi/pan erasure is uncool, me and the homies hate bi/pan erasure.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Coming full circle back to The Umbrella Academy, I'm going to say Viktor. He definitely isn't the most hated character in the fandom (that would probably be poor Allison) but I've seen a lot of negative opinions on him. And while I get where many of them are coming from, I could never hate Viktor. He's the character I relate to the most in The Umbrella Academy, and I see myself in a lot of his trauma. I may be a Five main, but Viktor has a very special place in my heart.

[stormblessed95]

Hi stormy!! You once told us that you watched bts contents with your partner and you just implied that two members of the group are may be romantically involved and he somehow guessed the members you're talking about? 😂 I'm not sure if i remember correctly but i remember reading that post intensely and with huge envy 😭 i so relate to that tweet: "my love language is watching bts contents together" i always tried to watch bts with my mom and sister (because I'm single af duh) but they sometimes indulged me but it's quite rare. They just don't like seeing me in hyperfixation mode. I'm also lucky enough to have got one of my friends to watch gcfintokyo with me but she was not that impressed 😌. She has the same reaction when i excitedly rambled to her JK LENT HIS STUDIO FOR JIMIN TO DO HIS BIRTHDAY LIVE, but then i guess maybe because she didn't know jk and jimin like us and why is it significant. So far, she only has watched bts bon voyage with me. Even with her calm reactions, I was so thankful to have at least someone to talk about my favourite boys. Sometimes I'm clearly aware none of them will have the same reactions as me and i know it's not their fault. They just were not interested. So I'm terribly jealous of you 😭 you both are so cute btw and I'm more than interested if you talk about your personal love story. I'm just rambling my immature feelings 😂 sorry if this is annoying and sorry for my english too. Also stormy, if you can, will you suggest some old contents that i should watch? Whenever i have free time to watch bts contents I'm always indecisive. Which concert or shows do you think is a must-watch for army?

I do watch some concerts with my partner! Not all, sometimes when I say I'm waking up at 3 am to watch the BTS concert he looks at me like I'm crazy and is like "okay babe, well I love you. Enjoy. Wear headphones please" 🤣 but if it's a rewatch (like PTD on Disney+ or just older concerts and he is free at the time) he will sit and watch with me and so will our kids. Same if the concert is happening at a more reasonable hour our time. Lol or will we all sometimes watch MVs, or Dance practices or run bts together. Not all the time, but it's nice when it happens!

And yes, lol I don't remember at all now what we were watching when it came up, since it was a long time ago. I hadn't mentioned before anything about shipping at that time, but i remember saying something about how even though shipping is so weird, sometimes it seems like there could be something there between 2 of the members. And he just went "oh yeah, you mean Jungkook and Jimin right?" And I said "why did you say them??" And he just made some off hand comment about how it seems like they act around each other from the little he has seen in ways that make it seem like they love each other the way he loves me. So for him if someone in the band was dating each other, it only made sense (in his head) for that to be jikook. For extra context, he is a Hobi bias, JK bias wrecker. And Jungkook was the first member he noticed and paid attention to in the group too. The hickey sealed the deal for him. He is pretty darn convinced at this point lol

Absolutely watch all of Bon Voyage or Run BTS if you haven't already! As for shows or concerts, you should go back to the beginning and see those if you can too! Their red bullet tour! The live Trilogy tour from 2015 too! Literally pull a concert tour name out of a hat for them and you can't go wrong honestly. LYSY concerts are INCREDIBLE. Any of those would be a really really good watch. 5th muster was EXCELLENT and should definitely be watched in full. I mean like honestly, pick ANYTHING and you'll have a good time! If you need help finding links to anything let me know and I'll try to help!!

[3llix]

Hi! I really love your crystal/homeworld gems redesigns, but I have a question. What color is pearl's skin? It looks really pretty tho.

(also can you tell me more about your pearl/Jasper ship? I really love the concept of them bonding due to their emotionally traumatic experiences).

Ah thank you! Pearl skins is supposed to be a desaturated teal, as I based her more on a peacock pearl, which I thought suited her personality haha, as she's pretty dramatic and theatrical xD

Oh yeah, this is a bit of an AU/Heavy Headcanon post, with the main idea of Jasper and Pearl knowing each other very early on xD

Ive definitely thought way too much about Jasper and Pearl getting to be parallels, devoted soldiers completely enamoured with their diamond. Definitely some heated rivalry, though maybe Jasper is the first to pick up on Pearls desires to pick up sword fighting to protect her diamond. Pearl maybe admitting she does want the skills to protect her diamond, and Jasper kinda bitterly saying that's her job.

Because my idea is that both want what the other has, Pearl wants to be strong enough to protect Pink, and be treated more that just a delicate accessory. And Jasper... maybe wouldn't mind being treated as something a little more delicate...

Jasper decides to humour her and and teach her a little combat. Under the guise of telling herself, seeing as Pearl is always by Pink's side, maybe it's a good thing if Pearl's capable of a little defensive combat.

Tho at this point I imagine Pearl and Jasper are definitely becoming closer in a "I hate you, but we're both so devoted to the same person that the feelings are crossing over!?! for each other?!" bonding over a common goal.

Especially since both have admitted their feelings are wanting more that just what they were created for, and obviously that's a big no-no in gem culture. So as much as they hate each other they both have someone who knows how they feel.

Maybe... after a particularly heated combat session... there’s a moment where they nearly fuse. Both are pretty shocked about it, and definitely worried in case anyone saw. But convince themselves that it was nothing more than a heat of the moment rush, that it was bound to happen at some point, since fusion is used for battle after all.

Pearl still has one up on Jasper tho, as she's left in the dark about Pink's moonlighting as Rose. And I can't help but feel Pearl would be super smug about it.

Although after "Rose" eventually shatters Pink. This would definitely come to bite her in the ass pretty hard when Japer returns to earth, to see the Pearl she taught to fight and essentially help in Pink Diamond’s “demise”, the gem they were both was so intent on protecting. I imagine jasper's feelings of betrayal would be pretty immense and that would be one of the key feelings of her developing an obsession of taking Rose down at any cost (and of course, sacrificing her own wellbeing in the name of revenge.) I feel like this could could lead to some pretty fun battles, confrontations between the two, that old rivalry heating up again, when Pearl is fighting with new, maybe even dirty techniques, and Jasper commenting how she doesn't remember teaching Pearl those moves.

I still imagine this all ends in Jasper's corruption, but maybe Pearl is there to witness it too, maybe it's a little more devastating since Pearl is still unable to tell the truth, torn between her last promise to Rose... and her "Rival" whose last thoughts about Pearl are only of anger and pain.

Anyway I am super sorry this turned into like, an ESSAY but I have many thoughts. I dunno I just, I felt like having Pearl and Jasper know each other would have been a fun exploration of relationships again, and could have even added something to the Lapis and Jasper dynamic too. We know it was Lapis taking out her hurt on Jasper, maybe Jasper let it happen, as a punishment for what happened to Pink. 

[wander-wren]

there’s always comment tips floating around tumblr but today it’s MY TURN BABEY i’m not covering Every Possible Comment, just my personal tips and tricks

pick a few default phrases. write them down even if you want!! my go-tos are “i love this so much” and “thank you for writing/sharing!!” and “omg this is perfect.” sometimes all of them together! i’m an overachiever so i usually go more in-depth, but just these sorts of things is great too

straight up just describe what you’re doing. “it’s 2am and im going to be so tired tomorrow but it was worth it i love this so much” (look theres a default phrase!!) “i’m sitting here crying into my chicken nuggets oh my god” “i laughed so hard reading this i woke up my dog”

if its a multi-chapter, try to predict whats coming! in a nice way, not demanding or “if xyz does/n’t happen i’ll riot” (unless its something guaranteed to happen, like “if [tagged pairing] dont get over themselves and kiss soon i’ll scream.”). esp if the fic is ongoing!! i’ve changed directions of longfics slightly bc of what readers predicted!! fanfic is a communal activity!!

speaking of ongoing fics: feel free to express excitement for future chapters but dont demand them, and DEFINITELY don’t let that be the only thing you say. “update soon!” is different from “oh wow i loved this bc xyz, cant wait to see what happens next!” the former makes it feel like a thankless chore, they latter feels like encouragement.

if a fic is not usually up your alley but you liked it, say so! just be polite. “i dont usually read [ship] but i was curious and i liked this bc xyz” is cool!! “i usually hate [ship] bc its gross/weird/toxic/etc and Other People always write [insert common trope] but this one was good” is less cool. you dont need to trash on the thing the author clearly likes, but it IS nice to know i could open you up to a new idea or something!

pick a line, any line, that made you laugh or “aww” or cry or get angry or ANYTHING. paste it in the comment box. write “this made me [insert emotion/reaction]” or “YESS/NOOO [character name]” or “oh my god i love this” or whatever floats your boat

if you want to go above and beyond, if i’m reading a longer work that i can already tell is gonna be a favorite, i just open the notes on my phone and copy paste all my favorite lines with my reactions as i go, then bam, ready-made comment

can guarantee (source: me) it will make a writer’s WEEK bc its like, barely any extra effort but it shows what made the most impact, and sometimes it makes someone see their stuff in a new light bc maybe they didn’t expect the line to hit that way! but woah! its so cool how different people experience art!!

also, comment when you reread. comment on older fics. if authors ask for suggestions or take requests, ASK. you get a thing you want, authors get interaction and cool fun ideas, it’s a win-win! everyone else is just as awkward and anxious and starved for human communication as you i SWEAR

also leave nice things in bookmarks bc that EXTRA makes my day when i remember to check once every six months. plus it helps future me remember why i bookmarked it

[eddisfargo]

Not a day will go by (9/?)

Hello my patient friends! Sorry for the wait! It won't be this long again (for real this time)! This is a Christmas fic for last year's Secret Santa, and I've given myself a deadline to finish it before this year's secret Santa. Specifically, I'm trying to finish before December 18, which is mine and @cosette141's birthday! Thanks so much to everyone who's still reading and leaving comments--they keep me going when my brain refuses to write! Thanks especially to @MotherKat for being the best beta EVER! I'm going all out in November, and I've actually already got Chapter 10 written!! So it won't be too long!

Tagging: @resident-of-storybrooke, @everything-person, @teamhook

AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9

Summary: He may not remember his present, but she doesn't know his past. If she did, she wouldn't have married him… right?

Let’s go home . 

She’d said it so simply, leading him back to the yellow machine, as if the concept of home was a given. A home they evidently shared. With a boy who he supposed was his… stepson. Because that had gone so well for him in the past. 

Home . 

The Jolly was his home. Perhaps he should start staying there, rather than in that house he didn’t remember. Should he suggest it? She’d probably be relieved. Or perhaps she’d worry that he’d simply sail away. Perhaps she’d be right. 

“Babe?” Her voice jolted Hook out of his thoughts, and he realized he’d hesitated outside the door of the building. 

He looked at her, working out how to phrase his intention to return to his ship without arousing her suspicions. “I don’t –” he began. 

She’d started talking at the same time, her face falling. “Sorry, I shouldn’t – Killian. Probably not Babe right now, right?” she laughed awkwardly. Truthfully, he hadn’t been called by his given name for so long that it felt more familiar than any pet name, but he elected not to correct her. Leaning against the wall, she let out a breath when he didn’t finish his thought. “Is something wrong?” 

Hook tried to find the words he’d come up with, but she looked so… tired. “Nothing,” he said finally. 

Emma looked at him for a long moment, searching. Hook had been prepared for the suspicion in her eyes. He hadn’t been prepared for what else he saw there. It was nothing he could easily name, but it made his lips go dry. Breaking eye contact, Hook started walking in what he hoped was the correct direction, if he’d oriented himself correctly – being instantly transported what seemed to be at least a mile was testing the limits of his sense of direction – but he had a feeling that this was the right way. To his relief, Emma began to walk beside him. 

They walked in an uncomfortable silence for a time, until Emma cleared her throat. “So… I guess we’re going to have to tell Henry.” 

Hook frowned. He’d thought he was doing alright at deceiving the boy. “Are we?” 

She looked at him like he was talking nonsense. Again. “It’s a little big to keep from him, right? And maybe… maybe he can help.” She smiled fondly. “This kind of thing is kind of right up his alley.” 

Hook opened his mouth to ask what exactly qualified under this kind of thing . But he couldn’t stop seeing the looks directed his way in that little room just now – the significant glances as certain things went unsaid. He… owns the local pawn shop . 

So he asked a different question. “What are you going to tell him?” 

She looked a bit pained. “ We are going to tell him the truth.” Shooting him a sidelong look, she added, “An… age appropriate version, if you don’t mind.” 

Ahh, after his slip-up, she’d lost any faith in his ability to regulate his mouth. That had been an error, but clearly she had no idea just how much he had managed to keep to himself. And that, of course, was how it would stay. To demonstrate, he only grunted his agreement. 

“And hey,” Emma added after a moment. “Maybe you’ll remember much you – how fond you are of the kid.” 

Hook grimaced. So it was true, his future self had been playing at fatherhood. And here he thought he’d learned from his mistakes. 

Suddenly, the woman beside him took his hand. 

“Hey,” she said, pausing in their walk. “What are you thinking?” 

He was thinking that trusting him with a child’s well being was ill-advised, but he wasn’t fool enough to say it, so he remained silent. It was only when she squeezed his hand that he realized that, almost of their own accord, his fingers had laced through hers. This betrayal by his own remaining limb shocked him into honesty. “That I’m not exactly stepfather material.” 

Her mouth opened in surprise. Fool , he chided himself. He removed his hand from hers and started walking again, faster. 

“Killian,” she said, arresting him. Facing away from her, he didn’t have to see her face. Instead, he saw another face. It had been so long since he’d indulged in this particular remembrance that the face in his mind seemed to have changed, attaining a marked resemblance to Emma’s boy. He felt a wave of grief he hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge for longer than he could recall. 

“Killian!” she said again. He turned to face her. “You’re a wonderful stepfather.” She radiated sincerity, but she didn’t know . She looked so bloody sympathetic . “I can see why you might… doubt this, but you’re actually a great role model.” She smiled mischievously at him. “Most of the time.” 

He felt the strange urge to reveal a part of his past that would doubtless make her question this strange opinion she seemed to have formed of his suitability. To unburden himself – no , to make her see why whatever perfect man she thought she’d married was a lie. Then perhaps she’d let him go. 

“There are things…” he said, keeping his voice steady with more effort than it usually took. “In my past… things you couldn’t possibly –” 

Incredibly, her face cleared. She reached out to touch his face, and he managed not to pull away. “Oh,” she said, as if she understood, although there was no way she could. “You’re thinking about Baelfire.” 

Hook froze.

Impossible.

“How…” he breathed. “How do you…” 

“Killian,” she said gently. “Do you really think I married you without knowing the significant events in your life?” 

He found himself unable to answer. How could he open his mouth and say yes, of course he thought that. Why would a woman like she seemed to be have married him otherwise? “I…” he managed to say, with effort. “I told you?” 

“You told me all of it, eventually,” she said. But she couldn’t possibly know what all of it entailed, not if she was looking at him with such… sympathy in her eyes. She bit her lip suddenly, taking his hand. “But some of it… I heard from Baelfire.” 

The words knocked him breathless for the second time in as many minutes. He was vaguely aware that he was being led into the relative privacy of a small alley behind a shop, but his thoughts were a jumble. 

“Baelfire?” he rasped. “You… you’ve met him? He survived?” Hook had always wondered what became of the boy after his escape. When he’d let himself think about it at all, he’d feared the worst, and laid the blame… where it belonged. The guilt hung heavy around his neck–guilt he allowed himself to feel for precious few of his crimes. 

She looked very sad, suddenly. “He survived Neverland, yes. He got out. But…” As Emma trailed off, closing her eyes, Hook could see the truth in her face. He started to ask something – anything – but found himself unable to speak. 

Emma took his hand and held it to her face, which he found strangely comforting. Softly, she continued. “He forgave you, you know. Before the end.” Hook shook his head, denying the possibility. “It’s true, you made up,” she continued, quietly but firmly. He tried his damndest to maintain his skepticism, but the sincerity in her eyes left no room for doubt. Still, he kept shaking his head, because it was all he could do. Baelfire . Milah’s boy. 

Somehow, without realizing she’d drawn towards him, he was in Emma’s arms, utterly disgracing himself. He had never shed a tear over Bae. He’d used the last of his tears up after Milah, he’d always believed. But perhaps the grief had always been there, just waiting for somewhere safe to be expressed. Safe . With this woman? This stranger ? She was probably repulsed by his show of weakness, in broad daylight behind a shop that sold shoes. 

He couldn’t bring himself to look at her, but as his senses filtered back, he could feel one of her hands rubbing his back, feel fingers running through his hair. Could hear soft words, gentle words, whispered in his ear. No one had ever… no one had ever tolerated such a display from him. Nor would he have given anyone the chance. Not since he was almost too small to remember… Not since he’d realized his father wasn’t coming back. 

Hook jerked up suddenly, mortified. What had possessed him to take leave of his senses that way? He had never, never let himself break down like that in front of another person–if he ever had at all. He couldn’t bear to look at her, to see the expression . A grimace, surely? No, somehow she didn’t seem the type. Pity, then. Any revulsion, she’d be kind enough to hide. Steeling himself, he straightened. With more reluctance than he’d like to think about, he pulled out of her arms, and finally looked her in the eye. 

And found he couldn’t look away. 

There were tears in her eyes too. Not pity, no. But sympathy. Even… understanding. Perhaps even… well. Something more. 

He cleared his throat. “I… apologize,” he said stiffly, “for–” 

“Hey,” Emma said softly. “You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. I should’ve realized you’d have to grieve him again.” She took his hand yet again. “But you know… in a way, he’s not really gone.” 

Hook frowned. “What way is that, precisely?”

“Well, Henry’s his son.” 

Hook staggered back. Just when he’d thought the earth-shattering revelations were done for the day. “He’s what?” At Emma’s small smile and nod, he shook his head, unable to process. “But how ?” 

“Hoo boy,” Emma said gravely. “I kind of thought at your age you’d have figured out the facts of life. Okay, so sometimes, when a man and a woman–” 

“I know bloody how! ” Hook said quickly. Did she really think–no, of course she didn’t. Her eyes were twinkling at him. Catching himself about to smile back, he frowned instead. “But he was… he was a child! ” 

“Umm, yeah. He was a child. Like twenty through two hundred years ago. The thing about not being in Neverland is… you grow up. By the time we met, even physically, he was older than me.” 

Hook tried to readjust some things in his head. Of course Baelfire was older than Emma–Bae had likely been older than anyone else alive, saving himself. And perhaps the Crocodile, if he somehow still walked the earth. But it still felt strange to think of him with a son . A son with… Hook’s wife? He put a hand to his head, trying to understand. Realizing he’d started to pace the alley, he used his nervous energy to resume their walk. 

Perhaps it was a lie? But no… he’d met the lad. The resemblance was there, now that he considered it. Gods, but he’d even mistaken the boy for Bae – for his father – at first glance. 

A sudden realization hit him. “Did I… steal you from him?” The thought of it bothered him more than he would’ve expected. It wasn’t as if he’d considered a married woman off limits, but breaking up the same boy’s family twice seemed rather bad form. Especially after everything else he was responsible for, where Baelfire was concerned. 

“No,” Emma said firmly, “you did not. We didn’t formally get together until after he was gone, but even before that… Neal and I weren’t together. There was a lot of baggage between us, and… it would never have worked out anyway.” 

Hook walked silently for a moment, trying to figure out what he’d missed. He’d heard that name recently… He finally placed the context in which he’d heard it, but that just created more questions... With a sigh, he finally asked. “Who’s Neal?” 

“Oh! Sorry! I meant Baelfire. Neal’s the name he went by when I knew him.” 

“Ahh,” he said. But no, that didn’t solve the puzzle. “And why was he… teething?” 

There was a moment in which Emma looked as confused as he felt, before she burst out laughing. 

“Okay, that’s a different Neal. The little munchkin my parents were holding? Baelfire’s namesake.” 

It took him a moment to connect those particular dots, the unfamiliar word “munchkin” not particularly helping, but it was clear enough what she was telling him. Evidently his wife’s first husband was beloved enough by her family that they named their son after him. That was a lot to live up to.

Not, of course – he reminded himself – that he was going to try. He was going to get on his ship and sail away. Leave this town that did nothing but confuse him. Leave this woman who kept looking at him in that infuriating way, as if she understood him. As if he mattered to her. She didn’t know him. Regardless of what shameful secrets she apparently knew, had apparently forgiven him for. 

She’d be fine if he left. He was beginning to think she might cry for a while, but… He walked faster, as if to escape the idea. Beside him, Emma sped up, staying by his side. She gave him a warm smile as they reached the door to their house. Hook started. He hadn’t even been thinking about where he’d been going, but he hadn’t been following Emma, either. Once again, his feet had led him straight here. 

The word home entered his mind, unbidden. Shivering, he walked inside.