#thank you for the ask!!!! id love to talk if you'd ever wanna im just very shy mksdfms | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

josecariohca · 7 months ago

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hello, I hope you're well. I live for hetalia and was rec'd to ask about your pirate au! I would love to hear about it if you'd like to tell :)

my first day on tumblr in what feels like a week and i come back to a question that makes me want to ramble like a madman for DAYS. you are so sweet for sending this to me (and im sorry if this ends up being an essay you were not asking for). fun fact: i have had to rewrite my answer to this ask no less than 3 times bc every time i started talking, id go on a tangent about pirates that was in no way relevant to your ask. apologies for taking so long, but yes! here we go! im putting it under a read more bc i cannot for the life of me shut the fuck up.

i do have a pirate au!! maybe one day it will eventually end up seeing the light of day, but as of right now it is sitting in my google docs next to a 95-page doc of all the sources and fun facts and tidbits that i find interesting about pirates. pirates are kinda my thing, idk if thats obvious or not. insert marge simpson i just think theyre neat meme here.

essentially, its pirate!antonio and venetian-not-quite-nobleman!lovino. im still playing around with that venetian part, but idk ill probably keep it, since it makes sense with lovino's family and all that. the entire premise of the story (and what sparked the idea in the first place, apart from me just thinking antonio would look sexy in a pirate captain fit) is that one scene in the strips where romano is reading a history book about how spain spent a ton of money on him when he himself was in rags. we all know spain canonically showered romano in wealth and money, even when he himself was wearing tatters. that idea sat with me for YEARS before i decided to do my own spin on it, culminating in the characters of pirate captain antonio with a grudge against the world and too much to prove seeing bastard lovino who lives in a family of nobles and cannot have any of it, even if he is loved and adored by his family, and who just doesn't????? understand him????? doesnt get why he chose to stay with that family for so long????? without leaving that world behind and being free and cutting himself loose????? he doesnt get the familial attachments and the sense of responsibility lovino has to his family, even if he cannot and will not inherit the title that comes with the vargas name.

antonio ends up raiding their merchant ship they were sailing on and kidnapping him for money or something idk im still playing around with that part, and lovino is just this absolute mystery to him, but ofc this is antonio who is bullheaded in his stubbornness, which i find to be enchanting and cute, and thus we slowly get into the love story of two people who were fucked over tremendously by their societies and their worlds and who just wanted and tbh deserved more, something different, a freedom they would never be able to have in their average life.

smash-cut to however long later and the entire basis of the story is lovino 'i am surrounded by status and wealth and prestige and will have none of it to my name' vargas being adored and cherished by antonio 'love me and i will give you the world, love me and i will give you everything' fernández carriedo. bc!! i!!! think!!! thats!!! neat!!!!

anyway yeah thats kinda where the idea for it came from. i have a few spamano stories written, but i am shamefully lacking any historical hetalia, which is terrible considering history is my entire degree, but im getting there. i hope this in some way answered your ask!!! youre welcome to also hit up my asks or dms if you ever wanna just chat hetalia or anything else, since i too live for this wretched fandom, and have since i was like. idk 12. thank you so much for sending this! i love having an excuse to word vomit about my hyperfixations, and this story has been bouncing in my brain for a frankly disgusting amount of time, and i have only recently decided to put it to paper and make something out of it!

#you are so sweet for this thank you so much #also id love to know who rec'd my au bc i need to kiss them like what a compliment #sorry again for how long this took to answer! ive been away so my tumblr time has been sorely limited #i do hope this answer was worth the wait ghjkjh #appleblondie0397 #asks

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plasticsandwich · 3 years ago

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we dont talk much but 🌠? =Oc

OH WE SHOULD DEFINITELY TALK MORE!! its lovely seeing you around aa

1. roses!! pink roses specifcally if id had to pick and pastel colors

2. hmm hmmm baked goods!!! this one specific type of jam biscuit that i cant remember in a heart shape and red velvet cupcakes (all in heart shapes!!!!!)

3. DRAGONS!!! LITERALLY WHENEVER I SEE A DRAGON IT REMINDS ME OF YOU MSKDFS

mutuals send me a 🌠 and i’ll tell you three things i associate you with!!!

#thank you for the ask!!!! id love to talk if you'd ever wanna im just very shy mksdfms #asks #eti-mun #i was trying to think of some cake names but idk any ones that i think would fit you mskdfs #something sweet and sugary though!!!!

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formulawonu · 2 years ago

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hiiiiii i loved the cuddles request omg

could you do seventeens first kiss w reader? :)

seventeen & first kisses

a/n: aah thank u so much 😭 this prompt is so cute AGAIN when will i ever get svt in my life.

seungcheol: this mannnn would be so smooth with it help like im picturing it as a he's dropping you off at home after a date and u both don't wanna end the night yet and he's kinda nervous kinda giggly but while u guys are in the car the moment feels right the vibes are there and hes slowly leaning in and asks u if this is okay AND IT IS and u guys kiss then u get out of the car and the man is smiling all the way home all lovesick :'D damn he'd also text u smth cheesy like i cant stop smiling when can i see you cheol is a confirmed #simp

jeonghan: first of all HE KNOWS BOTH OF U WANNA KISS STFUUUU so he plays with the scenario and he'd tease u and be like "i know u wanna kiss me so go get it over with already 🙄" but HA if u actually do kiss him he'd be soooo caught off-guard and hed be like wha whatwhat then snap back into it then be all OKKK ARASO GOT IT then kiss u again properly fml

joshua: he would actually think a lot about it :( like you both would be out on a date having a lovely time and he'd hold ur hand and you'd lean ur head on his shoulder and ur both looking out at the view or something and he'd say something like "i know this is cheesy but can i kiss you right now" :'D yes you can mr hong do what u wanna do !!! also the type to ask u after if the kiss was ok hsdgksjfdh

junhui: HE WOULD BE SO SHY SDUFHGSDJH like i know he is a very hyperactive guy but i think when it comes to nerve-wracking moments like first kisses he'd actually be so flustered :"( i think it would happen at an unexpected moment and out of excitement he kisses u and hes like wait o_o I JUST DID THAT and hed be like omfg sorry i didnt mean to kiss you NOT THAT I DIDNT WANT TO I JUST- pls just shut him up by kissing him again

hoshi: "i really want to kiss you right now" LIKE this line is all i got for this man. he is so unpredictable. i feel like it would happen at the most random time u might even be cleaning up after a meal at home and he'd be standing beside u watching u with a stupid smile on his face and he'd say the line and he'd wait for what you'd say then he'd really just go for it and kiss u. a simple and honest man id cry if he ever said this to me

wonwoo: first of all i think if this is the early stages of the relationship even a simple kiss on the cheek from u would have him smiling like a fool maybe even blushing like the man is FLUSTERED but when it comes to first kisses it'd be so cute like he'd probably kiss ur cheek first then kiss the tip of ur nose then pull back just to look at u and like silently ask u if he could kiss u then u just close ur eyes and u hear him chuckle under his breath before he kisses u I DONT HAVE MORE TO SAY HONESTLY HE'S SO.

woozi: it's private, it's personal - the moment literally just belongs to you and him. maybe you're at his studio or it's one of those nights in and you guys are just chilling you don't need to be doing anything special but he finds meaning in it because just being able to be around you!!! feels like!!! rest to him!!! and he just wants to share even more happy moments with you so you're probably talking about something personal and he leans in then u lean in and there we go. a treasured memory forever in both of ur heads

minghao: hao would actually wait for you to lean in before he does anything sjdhgasdh or lean in and right before he kisses you he'd be like "is this okay?" or just pull back to tilt his head and look at u to make sure it's fine :") after u pull away from the kiss he's giggling like an IDIOT but its cute and he's like huh so that's how it is and ur all huh and he's all "nothing just been thinking abt this for a while" and ur all THEN WHY DIDNT U DO ANYTHING and hes like just wanted to make sure you wanted it too sjhdfgmf

mingyu: kinda like jeonghan and knows u both wanna KISS!!!!! and he's teasing you about it so whenever he's kissing ur cheek it's actually way closer to ur lips and it honestly leaves BOTH of u frustrated (kim mingyu 🙄) so when u guys are bickering and he plays the "oooo u wanna kiss me so bad" line and u actually do give him the worlds quickest kiss EVER on the lips he's literally speechless like. hes actually flustered. man doesnt know what to do he wasnt expecting that and you're literally the one eyebrow raised emoji bec the ball is now in ur park kim mingyu.

seokmin: he'd want it to be so romantic 😭 like i think he's one of the members that actually put much value into things like this so he's preparing for it and he takes u out somewhere special and he'd try to be discreet about it but he's nervous and u can tell he's nervous so to put him out of his misery you initiate the kiss at the perfect moment and he's just melting bec IT HAPPENED HES SO HAPPY HES JOYFUL and he'd 1000000% smile into the kiss and hold ur hand as u guys continue to do whatever it is he planned :")

seungkwan: IT WOULD BE SO CUTE because neither of you are expecting it like he would be saying goodbye to you because he has to go somewhere and just like second nature he pecks you goodbye and heads out the door then five steps out he'd pause in his tracks like wait........... then he enters the room again and ur still standing there like ? yes ? and hes like omfg i just kissed you... and u both would just laugh and he'd say bye again then kiss u again and its cute. its domestic. IM ANNOYED

vernon: BECAUSE you guys are at the park sharing earphones listening to music he wants you to hear because it reminds him of you or he thinks you'd like it and he's watching you nod your head to the beat and you might be saying something but he can't focus because he wants to remember u in that specific moment and u notice he's staring so u start staring and he just starts leaning in and the moment is perfect NO WORDS NEEDED u forget the music is even playing

dino: this man wears his heart on his sleeve like he'd be so honest and upfront about everything with you. can i hold your hand? can i kiss you? will you be my girlfriend? like you never have to second guess with lee chan because he's really that guy who will tell u about his feelings so after u guys kiss for the first time he would nOT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT WITH U like you'd honestly start getting flustered because man cannot stop telling u how happy he is how exciting that was etc etc pls take care of his heart

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http-mingi · 4 years ago

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room 657. ⤑ jjk + kth ☏︎

⟶ 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 : you didn't even realise you were calling a hotline. you're best friend jimin gave you a random number. he said it was a surprise ? well you're in for one.

♡︎ 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 : sexhotline!au, worker!taehyung, worker!jungkook, student!reader

♡︎ 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 : ∝ filthy smut if you squint there’s fluff

♡︎ : 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 : sorry i fr forgot to do the word count !!

⟶ 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 : stressed reader, soft!dom jungkook, harddom!tae , big cock!tae, bigcock!jungkook, size kink??, sub!reader, pussy eating, dirty talk, face riding, hair pulling, fingering, cum eating, praise kinda?? unprotected sex, roughsex, multiple orgasms, heavy heavy dom sub themes, brat!reader , dom/sub themes, pet names, daddy!kink, threesome, dirty talk, cunnilingus, orgasm denial, begging, humiliation, creampie, intense orgasms(?), multiple orgasms, cum eating, insecurities, derogatory language, sexual face-slapping, punishments, dumbification, overstimulation, basically pwp.

let's go!

you sighed heavily as your boots clicked along the laminated floor of your university.

today so far had been a hassle. traffic kept you 2 hours late from school you were earlier fired from your job. your ex boyfriend had recently been stalking you and to top it off there was no hot water this morning.

you were beyond stressed.

most of the time you could deal with it you had thousands of stress relieving techniques. but this time you were all types of frustrated, with school, your job, sexually, friendships, family. you sighed heavily as you dragged yourself inside your classroom.

the bright walls of your university aided in your pounding headache. the distinct smell of coffee and muffins flooded your nose as you blinked slowly.

the tall dark bookcases shielding you from the sunlight as you sluggishly made your way to your seat.

you slumped down on your chair as you massaged your temples in effort to calm your self down. your headache clouded your vision immensely you hastily downed your water and some paracetamol nursing your forehead throughout.

you hadn’t been out on a real date in months. it seemed like the universe didn’t want you on dates, you rarely ever found yourself being okay with that fact.

whilst in a trance your best friend jimin walked excitedly into the classroom.

he constantly and i mean constantly reminded you off the things you were missing out on but it wasn’t like you didn’t want to go out but the issue was you were way too busy.

being an english, law and history major meant that you were constantly studying literally.

you did love him though he always tried for you.

"_____ !! " your friend jimin called out to you. you grumbled in annoyance as you turned your neck towards him.

"what." you sighed out tiredly.

" what the- what's wrong with you ______ ?!" he exclaimed loudly.

" jimin... why are you so loud. " you whine loudly.

“ shut up ___ im literally your only friend.” he said nonchalantly.

“ stopppp!” you whined with a breathy giggle.

“ anyways what are you doing here you have biology?” you asked innocently wiping your exhausted eyes.

“ uhhh... well..”

“ spit it outtt.” you say , head tilting slightly.

" sorry _____ i just- i have a number to give you and i don't call it until you get home! trust me you'll thank me later!!”

0800-765-877

it looked like a legit number so you decided to trust him this one time.

"come on ____ class ended 20 minutes ago wake up." he whined loudly.

" what.....? " you yawned as you groggily wiped your eyes.

jimin let out an exasperated sigh as he dragged you out of class and to your apartment.

" i love you but sometimes i feel like stabbing you. " he says plainly.

" sorry chim, ive just been really stressed lately. i'll make it up to you i promise."

"you can make it up to me by calling that number, it'll solve all your problems i promise."

" jimin... did you connect me to a sugar daddy or something? " you asked as you flopped down onto your sofa

" something like that." he said grinning

" okay well you can go home now . " you muttered yawning

" promise me you'll call them? "

" okay, okay now you can go. "

as jimin left you groaned into your pillow did you have to call them it wasn't really gonna change anything. but at the same time jimin would do the same for you.

your home was simple, minimalistic but you loved it your soft grey sofa in the corner. your small tv playing comfort noise in the background.

you fought your tiredness to finish your essay due for next week. you ached in places you didn't even know you had the most you were aching was down there.

you hadn't had any sexual action in weeks even months.

you decided to go up to your room to try and relive yourself.

you sighed as your hands hovered over the pulsating area.

as a finger trailed it's way up your slit you involuntarily whined as you got tired of the foreplay you plunged a finger inside your soppy cunt.

your plush walls also fighting to relish your much needed orgasm as you groaned into your pillow.

you moaned, whined, groaned and breathed heavily as you desperately tried to reach your high.

you angrily quickened your pace. you were trying so hard yet you still weren't feeling anything.

in a huff you decided to stop trying to reach your endless high.

in the corner of your eye you saw the number jimin had left you.

it wouldn't hurt to call right?

it wasn't gonna be anything weird..... right ?

you took a small breathe as your fingered trembled attempting to type in the numbers.

1 ring

2 rings

3 rings

......

" h-hello? " you whispered out meekly

" hey honey, why don't you speak up for us?" the man on the other end spoke in a deep voice

" im sorry i- i don't know what this- is r-really for?" you spoke slightly louder as you stumbled over your words

"it's a sexhotline darling? "

" i- i well oh...” you huffed out , eyes widening softly you were lost in a trance of thought.

you were suddenly put on hold.

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you gave yourself time to think.

it wouldn’t hurt right?

you were basically an adult, you felt like a teenage girl again.

so you decided.

Putting a client on hold was a part of their fun. It allows the person to wait and to draw out the anticipation. however in this case you were just confused.

you’ve been pacing back and forth inside your bedroom for minutes it was half eleven in the night , and you certainly didn’t think that your attention would be on this instead of your essay.

suddenly you heard another 'hello' erupt from the phone quickly you grabbed your device breathing heavily you gulped and mustered up your voice.

" h- hi i just want you to know that y-you can carry on I've been- struggling and i- need some just some help?" you say whispering the last part.

" you want us to help you cum bun? " another voice said this time it was lighter, kinder in a way.

“don’t make us talk to ourselves, darling.” the other man snarls.

a gasp emits from your dry lips when the tone of his voice turns firm. there was a strict, domineering tinge in his speech that made you sit still. you were too shocked to reply as your mind tried to comprehend the situation that you got yourself into.

“I-I…” you stuttered completely, wanting to smack yourself in the face. the pet names, their voices it was all over whelming you too much.

you let out a needy whine, both of the men groaned quietly into the phone.

" how old are you baby ? " baby. they called you baby.

" i-im 19? "

" fuck, will you be okay with this?" they ask to make sure

jungkook can’t help the soft growl escape his lips. It has been so rare for him to receive callers who aren’t twenty-five and above, and you might be his first time.

“Ohh, baby girl,” he bites his lip, “I think you’re the first client I’ve had who’s so young.” jungkook says to you

“ is that okay , i-im sorry- "

“Oh, its more than okay , baby. You still wanna continue? I can make you feel so…” he pauses, groaning quietly to himself, “so good.”

your pussy clenches around nothing as you felt yourself getting wetter by the second

" yes daddy. " you say nodding to yourself. you suddenly froze as you realised the contents of your words

taehyung's eyes widen in shock, his mouth agape, certainly not expecting that sudden word to come out of your lips. He throws his head back, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he feels his dick harden.

It was so difficult for him to hold himself back because all he wanted to do was to say the dirtiest, nastiest things that he wants to do to you in your ear. but he had to slow down.

“daddy? Oh, what makes you call me that, hm? baby?”

you feel your throat go dry, your eyes wide in shock. You didn’t know what to respond without being so shocked with yourself.

" i-i just really need you please please please i need it. " you let it all out, you couldn't be bothered to hide it anymore.

“don’t be a brat kitten.“ taehyung snarled into the phone.

“ b-but daddy! please i- i need it so so bad it’s not fair!“ you whined softly as your fingers ghosted your aching, soppy cunt.

they both groaned loudly, as jungkook conversed with taehyung

" kook, fuck i need to do her in real life she's making this so hard for me."

" same here let's just go for it here she's going to make me cum in my pants." he sighed as he palmed himself to your weak whimpers.

" darling, me and tae were wondering if you wanted to do this in real life- we'd fuck you so good honey, you'd become our little cum dump id love to see your body tremble to the force of my cock. " taehyung said interrupting jungkook.

" yes.. please you said as you moaned quietly to their words

" okay bun, we'll text you where to meet us." jungkook breathed out.

the atmosphere was dripping with heavy lust your eyes shut right as you relished their deep gutural voices.

“ i can’t cum daddy please help me cum pleas-“ you begged in frustration

“oh honey, it’s okay sh- sh it’s ok ill help you just be patient okay? you can do that for me right?” jungkook said in a calm tone

" what's your name by the way."

" it's ____." you say meekly

" ____ edge yourself, fuck yourself just do not cum. "

and with that in the call ended

you sighed loudly grinning slightly, you were gonna get your brains done out by two sexy sounding men.

you smiled to yourself giddily as you finally got some sleep.

________________

the next morning you got up and did your daily routine entirely different you waxed everywhere, shaved, exfoliated, moisturised, basically every strawberry flavoured you had in your bathroom.

it was a Saturday, you had time to spare you texted jimin to meet him before you went to meet 'kook' and the other guy.

not to mention you were frustrated beyond belief you had done what they asked you to do and you half hate half love them for it.

on one hand you could cum from any suggestive touch you were given.

on the other hand you couldn't help but want to thank them you felt so ready for them.

you walked to the cafe.

the soft brown walls encompanied the mahogany floors and the cascade of plants across the room as you happily walked into the bustling cafe.

" what's got you so excited." he said grinning like the Cheshire cat

" uh nothing i just had some good sleep last night. " a lie.

" oh really? "

" yeah i even finished my essay!" not true but not false at the same time.

" wow! " jimin looked at you shocked

" jimin do you really have that little faith in me. " you say annoyed

" to be honest no. " he said chuckling

" jiminnn, well i have to be going now i have an appointment soon. " you explain pouting

" an appointment where? "

" somewhere special ? " you say in attempt to hide

" if you say so. " he uttered playfully and he watches you walk away

you stared at the building in front of you as you checked the address again and again it was a massive condo.

you rang the bell of the apartment square and dialled in the number seconds later you were buzzed in.

you took the elevator and anxiously played with your fingers you finally reached the floor you were headed to and walked into room 657 .

" h-hello i-im here it's ______ " you say confused you really made a large mistake.

suddenly turning around, you were pulled into a sloppy kiss. You immediately relaxed into it, wrapping your arms around his neck the deeper it went. Before it could go on too long, he pulled away.

Pressed between both of their bodies, you could help the way your body reacted. Your lips met Taehyung's again and you whimpered.

Jungkook took the opportunity to press his lips against your neck, skimming them over the collar now around your neck.

He hands gripped your waist, pulling your shirt up ever so slightly to touch the skin that became exposed.

Goosebumps across your skin and you gasped into Taehyung's mouth. The elder chuckled, reaching down to where Jungkook's deft fingers explored to tug up the hem of your shirt.

you gasped loudly as you tensed under their touch.

Already, you could feel your mind turning fuzzy, falling into your submissive roll to let them mold you how they wanted.

Jungkook chuckled as you lifted your arms, allowing Taehyung to pull your shirt off. Left in your bra, you couldn't help but cover your chest as vulnerability set in.

"None of that, bun," Jungkook growled softly, ripping your arms away from your chest. "You wanna be a good girl for us right? Let us take care of you?"

"Y-Yes..." You whined, whining when Taehyung leaned down pressing kisses against your chest above the seam of your bra. Gasping, you pushed your chest out to get more of the feeling.

"What a good girl," Taehyung cooed, falling to his knees in front of you.

You leaned back, using Jungkook as support to help Taehyung pull your jeans off completely. He tossed them away in a heap nearby and without wasting a second, his mouth was on your core.

The fabric of your panties put on the side, feeling his mouth on you fully but as he slid his tongue over your slit and caught your clit, you let out a soft moan.

"What a good kitten for us," Jungkook groaned, hands still cupping your breasts. He pinched your nipples, making your back arch as you cried out.

“Is that pretty pussy wet, Princess? Does your cunt ache to be filled by my cock?” jungkook coaxes

The filth of his words doesn’t surprise you, Under his teasing words, you feel yourself grow wet, your lust-filled desire mingling with the humiliation that flutters through you.

"Aw, your pussy that sensitive, baby?" Taehyung cooed pressing his middle finger to glide directly over the patch where your clit was, making your hips curve inwards as the intensity was blare enough to startle you.

He chuckled deeply at that, kind of sounding like a purr and just when you didn't think he could fuck with your sanity anymore than he was already doing, he turned his head to the side and lapped his wet muscle along your jugular vein before enclosing his lips area the area for harsh suck.

you moaned loudly as you arched your back against jungkook. taehyung put one leg over his shoulder to go deeper.

"Daddy!" You cried as his tongue slid through your folds. He moaned at the unimpeded taste of your cunt. Circling your entrance, he eagerly tasted everything you had to offer.

" don't take it all tae, shit she looks hot." jungkook groaned into your neck, biting licking and sucking against your sweet spot.

you whined as you trembled against the two men. you felt hot.

"Fuck!" You shrieked, spasming when he gave you a slap against your sodden folds . " I—!"

" be careful girl." jungkook growled into your ear

you moaned apologies left right and centre as he continued to abuse your aching clit.

suddenly you were harshly pulled away from taehyung's hot wet muscle and pushed into the soft plush bed.

you whined in protest at your denied orgasm.

" now, you're going to choose. me or tae." jungkook questioned sadistically

" i...i can't choose that i okay um jungkook?" you said in a small voice.

" good decision honey, now lie back let me take care of you." he cooed kindly

taehyung scoffed as he sat back

you were more than happy like this, but when you shifted your hips to grind your centre against his, you both groaned open-mouthed into the kiss.

You could feel that he was already hard in his boxers. Knowing that his willing cock was so close to your needy core erased your mind of any thoughts that weren't of him.

When you dragged your clit against him again you keened, the pleasure incredible despite the barriers between you.

he felt so big as you continued your actions

suddenly you felt his large and literally massive cock push into your plush soppy cunt.

you moaned loudly as jungkook groaned.

taehyung smirked as he shook his head.

" get moving i wanna see her squirt."

jungkook rocked back and forth at a steady pace it was amazing don't get me wrong but you wanted more you needed more.

"more! more please harder jungkook please! " you begged.

" princess, don't beg for things you can't keep up with." he chuckled

there was an animalistic gaze in his eye as he started plunging into your pussy, taehyung mouth open jerking himself off at the sight, your open lie open as he ground his fat cock into you.

you felt hot and euphoric and couldn't help but let moans continuously fall out of your mouth.

suddenly you felt a harsh slap on your face. you felt tears well up in your eyes.

Without warning, his cock was rammed inside you. Raw and hard with the way your pussy was soaking wet from your denied orgasm , he began to relentlessly fuck into you.

tears began spilling out of your eyes continuously and your moans became pornographic.

as if he couldn't go any faster he began to drill inside you, your body shook in ecstasy as his fat cock was pistoned into you.

you felt your high approaching, you panicked and begged for them to let you come.

" please! please let me cum ! ill be good , ill be a good girl ! " you cried out towards them

jungkook craned himself to be face to face with you, as he stared at you with his dark and lustful. his wet lips capture yours into a sloppy kiss .

he forced your mouth open and let his tongue glide upon yours. he sucked on the wet muscle softly as you cried out.

everything felt so good, too good.

you came 3 times alone with jungkook and felt overstimulated beyond belief.

" now it's my turn . " taehyung dead panned

" w-what i can't take anymore ill just su- "

" i said. it's my turn. " he uttered in a harsh tone

you wailed in frustration as your body writhed in defeat .

" you're gonna take it . that's what you asked for . " he spat at you.

observing the way your eyes darken, turning neediness, and the way your chest heaves in short breaths, Taehyung’s jaw flexes.

He pressed the tip against your hole, seeing you tense up almost immediately. taehyung rubbed the end of his cock along your wet cunt before sinking himself into you.

" d-daddy ple- ! " you body spasmed against the head board as taehyung suddenly slammed his body into you continuously.

“ you’re such an eager little whore, aren’t you?” he purrs, condescension laced in his tone.

you tightly held onto the relentless man as you felt your high approaching once more.

taehyung’s thrusts became sloppy as he grunted against your neck.

you felt your body swirl and turn around you and you finally came.

hours later

you groggily woke up as you felt your body give out into the bed.

“ hel- hello? ” you said wearily

“ hi princess.” taehyung smirked

“ round 5?” jungkook asked

you sighed as you submitted to them in their bed

here we go again.

5 missed calls from jimin

#jungkook #taehyung smut #jungkook smut #bts smut #maknae line #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #networkbangtan #bts x reader #bts jungkook #bts taehyung #bangtanarmynet #bangtan #bts network #bts au #smut #jungkook au #taehyung au

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fictionkinfessions · 2 years ago

Note

for fathers day: in most of my timelines i cant recall anything about my immediate family, so often im left without anything to say on that matter. but id like to take the time for once to talk about the very few fathers that i can remember.

biiclop2: ii dont know iif youd want me two lump you iin on father2 day, 2iince father doe2nt quiite apply two you, but ii really appreciiate all that you diid for me. iim 2o 2orry that ii wa2 2o ungrateful back when we were twogether and ii really wii2h ii could communiicate that iin a more meaniingful way.

nix: god knows you dont wanna be lumped in today either, but fuck you im doing it anyways. i know you knew i didnt have my biological father in my life, but i cant stress enough how important it was that you kind of took over in that department. you werent a good role model or anything, but i wasnt a good "kid" so i dont care about that. all i care about is that despite how pissed and grumbly and brick-wall you were most of the time, you were still kind (in your own stupid way) when i needed you to be since i would never have in a million years asked anyone for that kindness myself. you did so much for me (and your sister, silas, taren, and miscel. hell, even corbyn too) that i could never repay and i just. want to say that i love you. i dont think either of us ever once said that, but i do. thank you.

geppetto: thanks, for making me. i admittedly dont know much about you; dont know if you let me go willingly or not when the guards came for the fairytale creatures. but regardless, thanks

mr. goranski: genuinely fucking choke and go to hell. i wish we didnt share a last name.

so. thats my piece. - sollux, kalem (tag as oc), pinocchio (shrek the musical), and rich goranski

"biclops: i dont know if you'd want me two lump you in on fathers day, since father doesn't quite apply two you, but i really appreciate all that you did for me. im so sorry that i was so ungrateful back when we were together and i really wish i could communicate that in a more meaningful way."

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #homestuckkin #solluxkin #kalemkin #ockin #pinocchiokin #shrekthemusicalkin #richgoranskikin #bemorechillkin #mod party cat!#fathers day cw #holidays cw #chara hate #asphyxiation cw #chara love #ableist language cw #hstxt

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years ago

Text

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good, the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #ocean eyes

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wolferals · 4 years ago

Text

⭐️he‘s the bad guy⭐️

arón piper preference

(This is inspired by the movie „tres metros sobre el cielo")

*WARNING: mentions of kinks, no smut included tho

-it was a pretty normal tuesday for you

-you went to college, spent your afternoon with some friends and then slowly made your way home at around 8:30

-your best friend had promised to take you home after work

-you were about to meet her at your guys' favorite ice cream place

-since it was mid july it was still pretty hot out

-you were wearing a knee long summery dress and some sandals when you walked around the corner in a usually pretty quiet neighborhood in Madrid

-but as you continued walking you saw a huge croud of people, cheering

-and you saw a lot of motorcycles

-it looked like they were about to have an illegal motorcycle race in the middle of the streets

-but you got curious and got a little closer

-once you were able to see the men on their motorcycles closeup you noticed this one guy

-he was wearing a leatherjacket

-had a buzzcut

-and a single silver hoop dangling from his left earlobe

-and his face told you he'd go all in in this race

-he looked furious

-but for some reason you found him attractive

-maybe even more attractive than your own boyfriend?

-shortly after they started the race and some people ran after the motorcycles

-and you were just standing there thinking about this handsome badass

-obviously you knew you'd never see him again so

-and of course you also had a boyfriend so you didn't actually want to see him again

-so you decided to just wait for your best friend to pick you up

-she had planned to pick you up right after you texted hr but she didnt even get your text

-so you just sat down on a bench and called him

-„hey girl! I know i promised id be there at 9 but im still at work, my boss is pretty mad right now because things disappeared and he's blaming everyone."

-you nodded even though she obviously couldnt see that

-„yeah okay, ill ask Julio to pick me up."

-theoretically you couldve taken the bus or the subway but you didnt have any money left because you spent all you had with you for lunch

-you then called your boyfriend of almost 4 months who picked you up immediately

-on the drive to your place you guys talked about your day and your plans for the rest of the week

-„why didnt your wonderful best friend pick you up?" he then asked you

-he emphasized the word „wonderful"

-he hated your best friend

-like really hated her

-he said she was bad for you

-she got mad easily and blamed it all on you

-but she's never actually quit the friendship with you before

-and sometimes she could be really sweet

-„she's working." you replied

-julio nodded and then drove the car into a tunnel

-he knew how you hated tunnels so he put his right hand on your thigh to reassure you

-you smiled at him and then placed a small kiss on his cheek

-„i love you hun." he then said for the first time

-but before you could reply something rammed the car

-you both got scared and he checked the mirrors

-you turned around and saw three guys on motorcycles behind you

-„eh cabrón! We need to talk to you Julio!"

-„do you know these guys??" you asked him full of fear

-„no what are you saying? Of course not." he replied and drove even faster

-„slow down! You're way too fast!" you yelled at him because he was far over the speed limit

-„we need to get rid of them!" he explained and drove about 160 on a street that said limit 100

-„STOP THE CAR!" you screamed at his face

-„yeah listen to your girlfriend Ju." a guy on the motorcycle spoke while driving right next to your window

-you just looked at him for a second and then just closed your eyes

-you were scared of tunnels and of driving too fast

-it was a lot for you

-„STOP THE FUCKING CAR!" you screamed again

-finally julio slowed down and stopped on the side of the road

-furiously you got out of the car to take a deep breath

-„you couldve killed us!" you screamed at your boyfriend

-the guys stopped on the side too and one took off his helmet

-„Julio get outta there puta!" He said rather harshly

-you looked at your boyfriend who was still sitting in the car

-„please do what he says, im scared."

-but before anything happened your boyfriend took off

-he left you in the middle of nowhere with three angry guys on motorcycles that had almost killed you

-you just stared at his car getting more and more distant

-two of the three immediately drove after him

-the third stared directly into your eyes for a little while before then taking off as well

-„you cant just leave me here you fucking dick!" you screamed at him

-you didnt even care who he was but he was the last person there and you were genuinely scared

-you expected him to keep driving

-why would he care

-but he turned around again and stopped his motorcycle in front of you

-„you expect me to be nice to you even though you just called me a fucking dick?"

-his voice was deep

-you lowkey had a thing for deep raspy voices

-you didnt know how to respond

-„alright then have fun finding a way how to get home."

-he started the engine again but you stopped him

-„please take me home. Im sorry."

-you sounded so damn desperate

-and you couldnt believe that your boyfriend had just left you there

-„get on." he demanded

-„but i need a helmet." your sassy soul complained

-„jeez woman."

-he then took off his helmet

-and you saw his face for the first time

-„you." you then said as a first reaction

-the handsome stranger looked at you in confusion

-„me?"

-„you're the guy from the race before. Ive seen you."

-he laughed at you and then asked:"you were at the race? A girl like you?"

-„yeah i was passing by and i saw you."

-he started grinning

-„and let me guess you were staring at my oh so hot face and couldn't resist but remember me cause youve been dreaming about me ever since?"

-his cocky personality turned you on

-you grinned a little

-„right." you grabbed the helmet from his hands and sat down behind him

-„you gotta hold onto me tight princesa."

-the word „princesa" got you a little wet

-you put your hands around his torso

-„you gotta really hold onto me bebe, we dont want you to fall off do we?" he spoke provocative

-„shut up and drive."

-he laughed and then started the engine

-it felt good driving through the night on a motorcycle

-you could feel the hot air hitting your bare thighs

-and you felt his breathing as you were holding onto this guy whose name you didnt even know

-but unfortunately all things have to end some time and he stopped at your house

-„there we are princesa." he spoke

-but you were still in your own state that you didn't really realize

-so your hands were still placed on his muscular chest

-„ey girly, id love to continue this another day but i gotta get home eventually too."

-you then got off the motorcycle, gave him his helmet and just made your way to the front door

-„ey!" he yelled

-„qué?" you asked him

-„come back!" he demanded

-so you walked back to him and just stood there about 2 meters away from him

-„closer bebe."

-you took a step closer to him

-„listen. When i take you home you say thank you alright?"

-you didn't expect him to be so blunt

-you just nodded and said:"thanks."

-he nodded back and then slightly grabbed you by your arm to pull you down to meet him face to face

-„your boyfriend's an asshole for leaving you there. Remember, daddy will always be there for you."

-you just stared at him in confusion

-you didnt even know you had a daddy kink

-but you did know that he turned you on as hell and that your panties were fucking wet by now

-„and i know in fact that we both feel the same here, even though your stubborn little body wont deny it. If you wanna have a good time, meet me friday 8pm at the race track."

-you didnt reply at all

-„goodnight princesa." he grinned and put on his helmet

-„ya." you just spoke and turned around but he pulled you back again

-„es goodnight papi, lo entiendes?"

#preference #aronpiper #omander #aronxreader #ander #preferences #cute #hot

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

Ali & Ronnie

Ali: [The day of but later] Ali: I convinced that man not to press charges or anything, the one that got involved Ali: so you don't need to worry about that Ronnie: wasnt Ronnie: tell someone who is Ali: 'course Ali: talking isn't the most useful thing for me to do right now so I'll pass Ronnie: go be useful then little girl Ali: I'm sorry he brought you Ali: that's fucked up Ronnie: course you are Ronnie: youre all well sorry now like Ali: For you, not myself, or ourselves Ronnie: no shit pity works with the rest of your brothers and sisters Ronnie: youre fucked up Ali: How so? Ronnie: show and tells over Ali: I hope it made you feel better Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: none of you give a fuck how I feel Ali: yeah I do Ronnie: wheres it been Ali: you're meant to wait for the kid to make the first move, that's rule #1 Ronnie: if you wanna play by the rules Ali: so I've lost points, that's fine Ali: you don't want us to care, right? Ronnie: the way your family is im almost old enough to be your ma Ronnie: bit fucking late yeah Ali: You do have a solid decade on her, yeah Ali: I'm a late bloomer, clearly Ronnie: ill leave it to her to be proud Ali: a big ask, but I'll survive without Ronnie: like I said Ronnie: fucked Ali: Yeah, a fair bit Ali: nothing to shout about, or that hasn't been now Ronnie: you wanted a first move Ali: It was a choice Ronnie: nah Ronnie: a reaction Ali: That too Ali: like I said, hope it was what you needed it to be? Ronnie: ask him Ali: you just did it for Joe? Ronnie: why else Ronnie: none of you mean shit to me Ali: but he does, yeah Ronnie: connect the dots Ronnie: I bothered to carve each one out Ali: I can tell he loves you Ali: do you love him Ronnie: hes that fucking soft Ali: you do Ali: alright, that's something Ronnie: fuck you youve known him all your life and you dont Ronnie: theres no telling me how I feel Ali: I don't know him or I don't love him? Ronnie: have it both ways Ronnie: he tells it either way Ali: I probably don't know him now Ali: I'll allow that Ali: that's how he wants it so you don't have to defend him like I'm saying I do Ali: or that I'll force it, when he's been so clear Ronnie: hes the last person I can be arsed to defend Ronnie: but no shit he gets everything he wants Ali: What were you after Ali: we disown him Ali: or strongarm him into rehab and therapy Ronnie: yeah Ive got everything crossed for sobriety Ronnie: fucks sake Ali: disowning then, he's done it to us Ali: it won't happen the other way 'round, sorry to say Ronnie: give him your fucking sorry Ronnie: he was the one begging me to ruin it all Ali: close enough that he should still be happy Ali: I'm not sorry for him Ali: I already said, he shouldn't have used you like that Ronnie: thats what happens theres no fucking 💘 and 🥀 Ali: no one deserves that Ronnie: I am no one Ali: You aren't Ali: don't have to be Ronnie: people like their junkies part time or useful or repentant Ronnie: fuck that Ali: that's not your whole gig Ronnie: you don't know shit Ronnie: youre not under my skin or in my head Ali: I know enough to know that's bullshit Ali: if anyone was just their addictions and vices, you wouldn't need them Ronnie: yeah youre the smart one Ronnie: he told me Ali: He's the one at the fancy arts school Ali: how does he reconcile that with being the junkie one Ronnie: youre 16 theres no uni thatd take you yet Ronnie: happy birthday for whenever the fuck it was Ali: Thanks Ali: about a month ago Ali: extend the invite next time Ronnie: dont Ronnie: I wont show Ali: you haven't heard how great my parties are yet Ronnie: I aint a childrens entertainer Ali: be cool if you were Ali: have a heart attack when you showed up Ronnie: next time I need a few quid ill try and remember Ronnie: make you proud of me Ali: probably leave that to Joe, and your friends and fam Ali: but I know how to make balloon animals so hmu Ronnie: course you do Ronnie: youre the target market for hippy crack Ali: awh Ali: how true Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: how long you been in the youngest ones adhd meds Ali: not really my thing Ali: need to calm my brain, not stimulate it harder Ronnie: 💔 Ali: how'd you know about that Ali: doesn't seem like the sort of pillowtalk he'd be about Ronnie: i was in care i know what an kid with adhd looks like Ronnie: and theyve tried to diagnose me as everything but a west little bastard Ali: he's shit scared right now Ronnie: be fucked if he werent Ali: yeah Ali: he doesn't really know Joe Ali: was like 4 when he went to Uni so Ali: proper boogeyman shit Ronnie: mckenna will love that Ronnie: real boner for the misery Ali: someone should get something out of it Ali: he can pay for his therapy later Ali: more meds, whatever Ronnie: ill tell him to put in his will Ali: try not to die Ronnie: itd be the ultimate misery boner Ronnie: why should he stop getting what he wants now Ali: yeah, you do love him Ali: but hate him too Ronnie: 💘🥀 Ali: Is he worth it? Ronnie: youre describing freckles and the princess you know that yeah Ronnie: me and her dont share every dysfunction Ali: Nah, they don't hate each other Ali: loads of other stuff, people Ali: very them vs everyone Ronnie: she hates that she needs him Ronnie: that he makes her soft Ronnie: close enough Ali: You reckon? Ali: Hmm Ronnie: first rule of tortured kids club Ali: it's why she loves him too Ali: you'd understand if her sister had been there Ali: she's got no one to make her soft, I tried but Ronnie: gutted she werent there then Ali: you wouldn't like her any more than she'd like you Ali: it'd be fitting, but no fun Ronnie: thats the fun Ronnie: I hate you all Ali: I see the appeal Ronnie: have a go Ronnie: hate me Ali: I see your appeal Ali: why would I hate you? Ali: Fraze does and he's having the least fun of all Ronnie: you see what you fucking wanna Ronnie: youd have to know me to know if I had any appeal Ali: Then I'm a spoilt hippy brat, as you like it Ali: you'd have to do worse for me to hate you Ali: not my MO Ronnie: not wasting another flight on it Ronnie: kill your own ma Ali: then I'm good for it Ali: sorry again Ali: you did what you set out to do, making me 💔 wasn't part of it Ronnie: stop fucking apologising Ali: it offends you? Ronnie: I did what mckenna cant do for his fucking self being a useless pussy from cradle to grave Ronnie: he is under my skin and in my veins like it or not Ali: yeah, and my apology is worth a damn when you've got problems that big Ali: alright, I won't say it no more Ronnie: if it was for me Id have done it at 10 14 fucking 18 even Ali: 'course, you got fucked over at birth Ali: no other straws needed Ali: his is more of a slowburn of bullshit Ronnie: yeah Ali: I don't know what he's told you, or how much you care about it Ali: but they've always been like it, Fraze too Ali: we have no idea and they went through so much more Ali: but Joe's only got 5 on me, so that says all you really need to know Ronnie: thats lads for you Ronnie: cant handle any pain unless they glorify it Ali: or co-opt it Ali: if you don't wanna be like them, tell him to get his own Ronnie: Im not like them thats why he likes me Ronnie: it aint my winning smile Ronnie: helps that I look like you and your ma course hes that sick Ali: He's hated them both ever since Bea came around, then when we moved her, like it was for her Ali: he's spoilt, like you said Ali: but I really think he is sick, too Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: were both sick Ali: yeah Ali: maybe you'll wanna get help someday Ronnie: for what Ronnie: theres no happy ever after here Ali: to not be sick Ronnie: nice try little girl Ronnie: not gonna get cured Ali: yeah, well has to seem better than sick Ali: that's a big ask Ali: I can't imagine not getting to do the drugs I do, and that's everyone Ronnie: it's like being in a relationship yeah sometimes it makes you feel good sometimes it dont Ronnie: cant fix shit though Ronnie: the rots too deep and its already set in Ronnie: long before I took a hit Ali: That's medication for you Ronnie: thats pain for you Ali: Yeah Ronnie: if I cant cut it out Ill cut her out of me Ronnie: her face outta mine Ali: It's DNA Ali: everything and nothing Ronnie: if she's in my blood ill spill it all Ronnie: theres fuck all point keeping it on the inside Ali: It's a waste of you Ali: the you that ain't her Ronnie: I am the waste Ronnie: ive had enough kids scraped out of me it aint hard Ali: She believed in the happily ever after you don't Ali: more fool her Ronnie: she got it Ali: she wanted it with you Ronnie: bullshit Ali: She did, she loved your biological dad, basically as many years as she'd been about Ali: she didn't just not get an abortion because she was scared Ronnie: she wanted it with him then Ronnie: I was along for the ride til I got dumped out Ronnie: if she wanted me id fucking be there Ali: she could've tried Ali: yeah Ali: you would've got taken away though Ronnie: so what Ali: just that, she wasn't allowed to keep you, she was a 14 year old with no parent, they'd have separated you and put you into different care homes Ali: happened to her friend Ronnie: I was a 14 year old with no parents either Ronnie: and a 4 year old Ronnie: 4 months Ronnie: however the fuck far back you wanna go Ronnie: I still found ways to get shit that I wanted Ali: Yeah, I know Ali: you had enough to eat and a bed with a roof over your head Ali: you wouldn't have if you'd had her, if that was even possible, somehow Ronnie: no I fucking didnt Ronnie: not always Ali: if you were in a home Ali: more than a squat where no fucker pays the bills or gets groceries over smack, you know the situation Ronnie: I know it helps her sleep at night Ronnie: this story Ali: you don't have to add it to your narrative if it fucks with your peace Ali: ask Joe Ali: if he reckons he remembers everything back in Liverpool, he'll remember Ronnie: I dont need to ask him cos his story is that she blinked and her life was so fucking sorted that she pushed a shit ton more kids out Ronnie: where the fuck was I Ronnie: nowhere Ronnie: youre my fucking replacement is why Ali: she could've got you when she got Bea and Ro Ali: I don't know how old you were then, 13? Ali: they might've said she was sorted enough, maybe Ali: it was more, this girl has been abused and you're a friend she trusts who is willing to foster her so let's shove her at you and get her out, it wasn't happy families Ronnie: no need when theres already loads of shiny white kids to mother and 2 less shiny to play saviour too Ali: I could ask Ali: I was a toddler, and it wasn't my bedtime story too, believe it or nah Ronnie: luck of the irish Ali: I'll take 50% Ronnie: her sob story is as fucking useless to me as mckennas misery boners are Ali: 💔 Ali: very convincing performance in that case Ronnie: fuck you Ali: why Ronnie: if you have to ask youre not listening Ali: I meant the part where you necked on with him Ronnie: why not Ali: 'cos his boners are a letdown, obvs Ronnie: I dont need him to make me feel good Ronnie: and he fucking wishes he could do as good of a job as the shit that does Ali: thank God Ronnie: he wanted the shock factor thats me baby Ali: assumed that was his intention Ali: he stopped showing up as himself ages ago though, that was, not more shocking but impactful, let's say Ali: if he wasn't so obviously out of it, he might've known that we knew Ronnie: he wanted to stop showing up full stop Ronnie: til he gets shipped back in a ⚰ Ronnie: and reckoned thatd be the final nail for you all us fucking Ali: and us younger ones are dramatic, hilarious Ali: who doesn't want to get away from home? Ali: Tommy has been since he was 11, Bea went to Cambridge, Ro will too, Fraze only didn't because Bea told him he wasn't allowed to follow her Ali: I'm planning on Singapore, myself Ronnie: hes too pussy to handle being away from me Ronnie: or what I get like when he isnt in my fucking face Ronnie: that bit wasnt about you lot as much like Ali: it's how it goes Ali: that's why people get knocked up, get married, get fabulous careers, so you can have an excuse for why you can't make this weekend, will try to pop in for this event but end up just sending a card Ali: it's weird it's you, of course, you're both sick, duh, but look at it objectively Ali: it's your version of 2.4 kids and a dog Ronnie: he dont want me to slit my own throat or anyone elses but his more fool him Ronnie: cant knock me up or marry me thank christ Ronnie: I like that the dog is smack thats well poetic Ali: I'll have a go at writing it Ali: if you want a null and void illegal wedding too, I'll write those vows and all Ronnie: ill stick it in a song if you want better than happy birthday Ronnie: fuck that i belong to no one Ronnie: theres loads more fun illegal shit to do Ali: you write songs too? Ali: just don't let Joe play cello on it Ali: if depression had a 🎵 Ronnie: id lose money if i begged with him Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: looks pathetic enough but thats all Ali: very child actor vibes, or rockstar's kid Ali: you had it all and you pissed it all the wall Ali: not here's a couple of quid for a warm cup of coffee and a sarnie, no Ronnie: i can see his face hearing that Ronnie: id have to take a brick to it Ali: yeah, he probably hates me Ali: not as much as Fraze, didn't have the toddler clout to make us move to Dublin, bit rude Ronnie: you're in his way Ali: of what Ronnie: 💉 Ali: that's his hangup Ali: like I said, no one is forcing him to do shit here Ali: guilt's part and parcel of 💚 and 💉 ain't it Ronnie: youre not telling me shit I dont know Ronnie: hes the one shitting himself hes gonna get chucked in rehab Ronnie: nobodys coming to take me nowhere Ali: I get it Ali: she's shit at turning up Ali: tell her to work on it Ronnie: do what you want Ronnie: far as sisterly advice what ive got is dont ask me for a shot unless youre after a habit Ali: lecturing ain't my gig rn, she loves a bit of it so honestly no need when her 🧠 will be full of the 💔 Ali: cheers, I'll stick to the just saying no of it all Ronnie: get the money up front when you are gigging Ronnie: and take care of the kid when you aint Ali: I will, I do Ali: he's got a few years to grow before I'm going anywhere Ronnie: yeah Ali: and my wife might stay and they're best friends Ronnie: she was the one trying to rival us for most high Ali: ✌💚💉 Ali: it was a party before you walked in Ali: which I'm aware was very much the idea Ali: can I give you a tattoo I'm good Ronnie: go ahead Ronnie: not gonna be here long like Ali: where do you wanna meet, my rig is way portable Ronnie: [a place nearby wherever they are cos god knows but I doubt Joe wants to see Ali and she aint gonna tell him that's where she's going LOL] Ali: 👍 Ali: about 25 on my 🚲 Ronnie: reckon i can stay alive til then

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tangerineflowers · 5 years ago

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Calculator Girl

authors note: im a dumb bitch excuse my shite skillz, theres a dom bri and a sub bri in this first is dom second is sub if you have a preference:)

summary: you meet in physics and brian always lets you borrow his calculator, eventually roger tires of brian always talking about 'this cute girl in his physics class' so he invited her to a gig. bri takes you home and things get alil hot and heavy.

content: fluff, flirting, making out, infatuation, jealousy,

you met at uni, you sat next to eachother in physics and you never brought a calculator so you always borrowed his. this led to light conversation and eventually when your birthday rolled around and you came to class he bought you a calculator then 10 minutes after giving it to you he hurriedly attempted to explain that he actually liked sharing his calculator with you and that you could still use it and he hoped the gift didnt come off as rude.

"y/n oh god i just realized-i wasnt trying to- you can still use my calculator- i like sharing with you i did-" you cut him off by putting your hand on his shoulder and reassuring him that it was a cute gift and you liked it. class ended and when you said your final thank you to him you gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek that the band would never hear the end of. when roger finally got tired of hearing brian gush about you he decided to hunt you down one day finding you through your roommate he invited you to a local cafe to study with brian, but when you arrived you saw the both not only had brian but a shorter blonde man adjusting his necklaces and giving him a pep talk.

"alright bri, be yourself except be confident you got this c'mon!" he glanced up and noticed you walk in quickly pulling away from brian and giving him a not so subtle wink.

you approached the table giggling at what you walked in on and taking a seat next to brian giving a shy introduction to roger and a hello to brian,

"hi brian-" roger quickly cut you off saying,

"i'm roger" he extended his hand towards you and you shook it gently before roger shoved himself right between you and brian, he made an effort to be quite flirtatious toward you to make brian jealous but you playfully shut down his efforts taking notice to brians tensed jaw and white knuckles around his pencil and calculator. you looked past roger at brian and tapped him on the shoulder asking to borrow his calculator for a moment making sure your fingers brushed as he handed it to you.

"brian could i borrow your calculator?" you said softly before delving into another math problem. as you did this brian whisper yelled at roger that he didnt like him flirting with you but roger cut him off tapping you on the shoulder and inviting you to a show that night.

"y/n how would you like to come see our band perform tonight?" you looked over at brian raising an eyebrow

"i did know you were in a band brian?" brian got flustered and answered meekly,

"yeah i am its just a weekend thing with a couple of friends, freddie, deaky, rog here, i play guitar." as he said this you took notice of his hands maybe staring a bit too long. you looked at his watch for a moment before noticing the time. you had to get to class and gave them both kisses on the cheek as a goodbye brians lingered there for a moment longer before you rushed out of the cafe getting to class.

---

you put on your favorite outfit as you got ready for the concert and made a bigger effort with your hair and make up, you never really tried that much to look attractive in class so you decided to play it up for tonight. you and your roommate pushed your way to the front waiting for his band to come on stage and you took notice of the raucous crowd excited for the performance but most excited to see brian. when the band entered you scanned the whole band before settling on brian. a magically flamboyant frontman with the voice of a god. a bouncy flouncy cheeky bass player with great hair, roger the blond hair blue eyed flirt from earlier and brian. his curly hair was like a halo around his angular face you noticed his eyeliner settling for staring at his pillowy lips for a moment. you loved his outfit a white shirt with bat wing arms cradling his red guitar. though you would never say it outloud you stared at his pants for way longer than you should have. by the time you finished scanning him the first song started. you made eye contact with brian flashing him a smile. he smiled back, the girls surrounding you all melted. you laughed slightly and watched his fingers on the fretboard glancing from his fingers to his face as he sang back up vocals as he played. you watched him throughout the whole show and roger noticed. the moment it ended he rushed over to brian telling him that you were totally checking him out.

"bri! I swear!" roger raved.

"I sincerely doubt it rog." brian was completely unaware of the feelings you both shared for eachother.

"if you don't go out there and buy her a drink then.." he paused and his face fell into a mischievous grin.

"i will. you've got 10 minutes!" he smirked and thumped brian in the chest before galavanting off leaving brian with his thoughts and a deadline. the adrenaline in his veins from a stellar performance pushed him to pack up his red special and rush out to the bar to find you.

you and your roommate make your way over to the bar but before you can order a drink brian approaches you and your roommate disappears talking to another friend. brian smiles at you tapping you on the shoulder and you quickly swivel around smiling and giving him a congratulatory hug and a kiss on the cheek. his face flushed pink as you did so and he hugged you back hands resting on your lower back. you pulled away and began rambling about how amazing he was.

"you are so talented i almost cant believe it!" you laughed excitedly on an adrenaline high from the loud music.

"i- thank you y/n. i really appreciate it." he smiles down at you his head pounding from the loudness of the bar he leaned down by your ear to ask,

"would you like to go somewhere quieter?" you nodded quickly and he helped you off the bar stool leading you through the bar with his hand ghosting over your lower back sending shivers up your spine. when you get outside you're immediately hit the by the cool autumn air sprinkling goosebumps all over your arms. brian noticed and looked around trying to find another place to talk that would be warmer.

"we should uh... its really cold do you wanna go.. to my place?" brian suggested meekly. you flashed him a bright smile.

"id love too." you said and took his hand walking home with him, during the walk you both discussed the show and your other interests. you quickly arrived back at his appartment and you both rushed inside. you walked over and nervously sat down on his couch.

"i'll make us tea to warm up." brian suggested making a beeline for the kitchen and quickly brewing up some tea. you nodded and waited for him to come back. he returned and sat down on the couch next to you putting his arm on the couch behind you. you continued talking about various things getting closer and closer to eachother you rested you hand on his knee and played with his hair for a moment until your face was inches away from his and you made eye contact both glancing at eachothers lips he leaned in and kissed you. you brought your hands to his shoulders and he brought his to your cheeks. thats what solidified it for you. this wasnt just a hook up to either of you. his thumbs grazed down your cheeks and he touched your neck putting his hands in your hair. you deepened the kiss opening your mouth and things began to get hot and heavy.

brian leans you back into the squishy couch hovering over you by leaning on his hand by your waist almost trapping you under him. you didnt mind though, this was exactly where you wanted to be ever since you'd seen him on that stage. your arms wrapped around his neck and his knees were between your legs as he began kissing down to your neck his hand snaking under your back holding you as he kissed all over your chest and neck. you tilt your head back letting out soft whimpers as he kissed your sweet spots. what made your breathing stop momentarily though was when you felt his teeth grazing over your collarbone and he began to leave a few dark hickeys up the side of your neck making you moan and squeeze your legs together. he brought his lips back to yours kissing you less sloppily and being more deliberate with every move he made on you. you ran your hands into his dark chocolate curlys kissing him slowly. what you both hadn't noticed during this steamy make out session was that the boys had come home. the door opened and brian looked up at the band like a deer in headlights quickly sitting up as freddie and deaky burst out laughing.

"the one time bri has a girl we call it an early night" he laughs walking across the room and sitting on a couch adjacent to you two.

"seems like we're interrupting something fred." he giggled mischievously before freddie got a better look at you and gasped dramatically.

"its the calculator girl from his class! aw!" freddie gushed and rubbed brians shoulder, brian was mortified during all of this staring at you apologetically as you felt the same until you heard freddie refer to you as calculator girly you sat up from under brian blushing.

"you talked about me?" you giggled looking at brian for an answer before deaky chimed in with,

"it was never ending." he laughed and freddie stood up laughing excitedly he walked towards the kitchen saying,

"well i'll leave you love birds or snog bogs to it!" he joked and deaky left the room as well. brian's face was bright red embaressed and he looked at you worriedly.

"you talked about me?" you asked leaning towards him excitedly and wrapped your arms around his neck as he snapped out of his trance of embaressment.

"yeah.." he said nervously as he tried to figure out where he should put his hands. you looked down moving his hands to your waist you move him so he's sitting on the couch correctly you straddle him and kiss him sweetly.

"i talked about you to roommates too!" you said before gently kissing him again bringing your kisses down this side of his neck and leaving him a couple hickeys his jaw dropping and head tipping back as roger slowly entered the apartment with a random girl on his arm. brian heard the door and shot back up letting out an annoyed groan as rog gave him a silent thumbs up as he rushed to his room. you noticed the interaction and laughed softly.

"we just cannot get alone can we?" you tucked his hair behind his ear and whispered sweetly.

"let's go to my room.." he said picking you up from your current position straddling his lap and walking past the kitchen bringing you to his room he layed you on the bed noticing both of your eye lids begin to get heavier. you looked at him alittle worried before asking.

"could we.. insead of..-" brian caught your drift and nodding letting out a yawn as he pulled his show shirt off.

"could i borrow a t shirt?" you asked taking your shoes off and setting your earings on the dresser. he nodded pointing to the open drawer as he slipped a shirt on. you took your shirt off and slipped on of his on and unbuttoning your jeans you slid those off as well. once you were down to just panties and one of his shirts you sat on the edge of his bed. brian climbed in his bed and glanced at you.

"care to join?" he joked opening his arms you quickly climbed under his sheets and into his arms laying your head on his chest and resting your hand on his side tracing patterns. he snaked an arm to your him and took a deep breath as you both fell asleep.

SEND IN REQUESTS! should turn this into a series?

i write for brian, roger, deaky, and freddie {only platonically}

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igotshinee21 · 6 years ago

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Dear Jonghyun,

A year. That's what it's been. I still can't believe it. You have everyone around the world missing you and crying and praying that you're ok. It seems like just yesterday I was 5 sitting in front of the TV in my grandmother's house watching SHINee's debut stage. All I could focus on was you. It took my grandmother having to pull the Korean news channel up on her computer for me to go eat breakfast and get ready for the day.

I couldn't stop watching you. I knew you were singing for your Noona but I. I felt like you were singing for me. You were smiling but looked so focused on the dance that you just radiated 'LOOK AT ME IM THE BLING!' and I just remember asking my grandma who you were and she reads the Hangul going across tbe screen and says 'Kim Jonghyun' and that's when I fell in love.

That whole day I went through Kindergarten class singing Replay and all the kids around me called me names cause they spoke English they didn't understand who you were or how powerful you were. You made a 5 year old have standards for guys that I shouldn't have had.

I went home that day still humming it and went inside. I went on the computer and just searched you and then I saw you. The next few years went by. I fell more in love with you by the day. But after you debuted and became my center the worse took place.

My step dad the person who I was to go to for comfort and feel protected by began to abuse me. Every night I would lay in bed crying and wondering why a now 6 year old had to go through this. I started sobbing and the only thing that calmed me down was you. The smile that your face brought and the twinkle your eyes shown. I laid in bed everynight thinking of you begging you to come get me from the life I was living.

The abuse got worse. I was 7 with depression and having to steal my mom's makeup to cover up bruises. That's when I started having panic attacks and hyperventilating. The one night I couldn't breathe and had to go to the hospital but the doctor asked me if I had a way to calm down and I said yes. Music. And more specifically SHINee, you. He played like 3 of your songs and watched as I went from on the brink of passing out to dancing to replay.

He told me that it was because of you I was breathing and hadn't died of oxygen lack. So I left happy. But the abuse didn't let up. If anything it got worse. He used you guys against me, told me I was getting punished cause you guys saw me as a disappointment. But I knew it was a lie. You guys brought a smile to my face every time I thought of you. But when I turned 10, that's when I turned to you for the late nights in the bathroom. When the only relief was self harm. After a while of sitting there you talked me into putting the blade down and cleaning up and that I could make it cause your voice gave me hope it gave me a safe place. Weeks later I was in the same spot though. Except this time I wanted to end my life. I sat there crying and didn't move. No one was home. But my iPod started playing randomly and the first thing I hear is you. Your voice came through the headphones clear as day. I fell asleep on the bathroom floor feeling like I was gonna be okay because I felt like you weren't gonna let anything happen to me. But of course he had other plans. He took most of my innocence and told me if I told a soul I'd get in so much trouble. So I kept my mouth shut. Now 2014 comes and I'm turning 11. I'm in the 6th grade and it's November. Thanksgiving time. next week and a half is hell for me. my grandma dies and you know who helps me cope??? You.. you let me cry myself to sleep thinking I was gonna be okay.

YOU WERE MY HOPE

YOU WERE MY SAVIOR

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAVED ME

But of course let's rewind some of 2014. You became 'Blue Night's radio host and every day it never failed I'd listen. Even though I didnt understand much your voice got me through the everyday life.

Now 2015. By this time I had tried ending my life a total of 4 times. I self harmed more than what I wish I did and I became so wrapped up with my pain and the fear of people seeing me weak I was diagnosed with Smiling depression. The same thing you had. But you held me through all the pain and suffering. My mom leaves my step dad. And actually right now in 2018 shes in the process of divorcing him.

We move down south from New York to Georgia (USA). I was afraid of people making fun of me that I barley listened to kpop. I was so absorbed with not getting put an outcast I almost lost you. But you still were there. The nights I cried. The nights I have like tonight where i just hurt and don't know how to fix it.

2016 rolls around and I lose it! You release you're she is album on my birthday and I felt like the luckiest girl ever. I called my grandma and told her how you wrote she is for me. And yes at the age 13 i swore we were soul mates. I had ever since I was 5 so why stop?

And then 2017... I lost sight of you. I barley kept in touch with what SHINee and you were doing. I knew you stopped hosting. And y'all dropped a Japanese song (GET THE TREASURE IS A BOP! But so is every SHINee song) i was so focused with school and sports I lost sight of you. Then I moved to where I am now. And face more shit. I was sexually harrased the first 3 months I moved here, I stared self harming again and pulled all nigher just so I wouldn't have nightmares. Then December 18th comes. I wake up to my friend blowing up my emails and feed with the news. I was lost deviated shocked numb. I couldnt feel anything. You were my everything. My rock. The reason I kept fighting. And I couldn't help you from the thing you helped me from.

I didn't do anything for the next two weeks. I was of course numb. I did the bareminimun. I barley ate. I didn't sleep. Then I cried non stop in my room. I couldn't let everyone know I was hurting. My family didn't even think there was something wrong with me cause I hid the pain so well. I mean I became so good at looking okay people just assumed I had the best of everything.

January 1st came and I didnt want to do this. I didn't want anymore tomorrows. But as I sat in my room crying over you I heard it. The same thing I heard every time I cried like that. You told me id be okay and that you'd always be there. Then for some reason I couldn't stop wanting to see you. Every SHINee video I watched. Every video of you I watched.

I haven't read your letter or watched the funeral. I refuse. I guess I'm afraid it'll make it like official official that you're gone and that I have no choice but to say goodbye. But I don't wanna say goodbye you became my reason for fighting. The reason I rolled out of bed. The hope that life was gonna get better

I wish I could have helped you. I'm so sorry. I just hope you're okay and happy and not hurting.

You did well bling bling. I'll post more later today. It's just gonna be my favorite moments of you. You and SHINee. Always and forever.

I hope the words I could never say reach you. 'THANK YOU'

(just some people on insta paying tribute)

#you did well #youngjae #miss you #jonghyun #we love you forever jonghyun #kim jonghyun #i love you #cant believe its been a year..#you are the moon to my forever crashing waves #thank you

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 5 years ago

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Unexpected Arrival - 6

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, possible Steve x Reader

Summary: As if working with the Avengers wasn’t exciting enough…. an unexpected visitor is about to change your life forever.

"There you guys are" Nat stated as me and Bucky walked into the common room together "where you been?"

"Buck was just helping me with something...."

"You’re not gonna end up pregnant again are you?" She smirked.

"Oh my god" i shook my head feeling my cheeks burn "really Nat?"

"What? Im just curious"

"Leave them alone" Steve scolded her as he rocked Evie gently in his arms.

"Fine! Y/N fancy coming shopping with me?" Nat asked looking hopeful.

"Id love to but im not really feeling up to it just yet"

"Okay, how about online shopping? I know you still need to get some things"

"I can do that" i nodded smiling at her.

"Lets go to my room, daddy and uncle Steve can watch miss Evie here"

"Um... ok" i turned to look at Bucky and Steve who both nodded and smiled.

"We'll be fine sweetheart" Bucky said "we know where to find you if we need you"

"Okay, if she gets hungry give her the bottle?"

"Sure, I've got this don't worry".

"Bottle? I thought you were breast feeding?" Nat looked at me "you decide to switch to formula?"

"Don't ask.... lets just go" i blushed and quickly walked out the room before i died of embarrassment.

"It was so humiliating Nat!! He was milking me like a damn cow! But i was in so much pain....." i was saying to her after she made me tell her everything, my face buried in my hands as i thought about what had happened, Nat was laughing so hard i reached over and shoved her.

"Hey!"

"Its not funny!! I really dont stand a chance with him now do i!?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean if he wasn't interested before this....then i stand no chance now he’s had to do that!" I threw myself back on her bed dramatically "i thought the birth was the hardest part of having Evie.... but my god was i wrong! Sure it was the most painful part" i laughed "but all this stuff that comes after..... the hormones... the leaky boobs.... and having to deal with all this with Bucky.... knowing he wont ever feel the way i feel...."

"Okay listen to me, you might not see it but that man out there is crazy about you!"

"Are you mad?" I laughed shaking my head at my best friend.

"Maybe, its not impossible" she shrugged making me chuckle "but I'm telling you, Bucky loves you. I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is looking, even before you guys had a kid together"

"If he loved me like you say he does, why did he act like nothing happened in Alaska??"

"Now that i don't know" she shrugged while opening up the online shopping pages on the big screen "you'd have to ask him".

(Buckys POV)

"You okay Buck?" Steve asked making me turn to look at him "you've been unusually quiet"

"Yeah... yeah im fine. Just thinking"

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Its just... never mind" i shook my head feeling like a dumb ass.

"Talk to me, whats on your mind?"

"I thought i could do this, you know? I thought i could be a dad to Evie and just carry on being friends with Y/N.... but its so hard not to feel more"

"Are you saying you have feelings for Y/N?"

"Ive always had feelings for her Steve, how do you think we got here! I have loved that girl from the second i met her" i finally admitted with a huge smile, it felt good to finally get it off my chest.

"This is big Buck! But i dont get it....why did you act like nothing happened after you guys slept together? You ignored her.... dated other women...."

"Wait how do you know.... has she spoken to you about what happened?" My smile dropped as i sat forward looking at Steve.

"No! No of course not!" Steve said quickly clearly lying! He was the worst liar ever!

"What did she say?"

"Nothing...."

"Steve i swear to god if you don't tell me...."

"I cant say okay, i promised her i wouldn't say anything"

"As my best and oldest friend, you better tell me what you know Steve"

Steve exhaled slowly shaking his head as he looked down at my sleeping daughter in his arms.

"Look all im going to say is if you love her, you need to tell her. Because she doesn't believe that you could possibly love her.... that she's not good enough"

"What??" I sat shaking my head "why would she ever think that??"

"You tell me Buck"

Then it suddenly made sense, i understood what Steve meant.

"Shit" i muttered pushing my hair back from my face "its because of how i acted after....."

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because i thought she deserved better, someone better than me. She's so good.... in every way and im..... well we all know how fucked up i am"

"Bucky you are not fucked up! We know that.... she knows that"

"How could she ever love me Steve?"

"I dont know pal but she does"

"What??"

"You never heard this from me you hear me??!" Steve said looking around to make sure no one else was around and i nodded quickly "Y/N loves you.... she's in love with you you idiot! She has been for a while"

"She never said anything....."

"Neither did you! She was hoping that after Alaska things would change"

"But then i ignored her and pushed her away...how could i have been so stupid!!!"

"She's convinced herself that you regretted it, that you could never love her and so she's trying to be your friend..."

"What do i do Steve?"

"Thats your call Buck"

I huffed falling back against the sofa, was Steve telling me the truth?? Was is possible that Y/N loved me??

"Can i ask you something?" I asked turning my head to face Steve, he nodded and waited for me to ask my question "do you have feelings for her?"

"W..what??" Steve stuttered as his cheeks flushed red.

"Its a simple question Steve"

"Its not a simple answer Buck...."

That night i was in bed laying on my side watching Evie sleeping in her basket next to me. The bedroom door opened and closed gently and i already knew it was Bucky, i felt the bed dip as he laid down and then his arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled himself closer.

"Hey doll" he mumbled quietly before pressing a kiss to my neck.

"Hey"

"How was your evening with Nat?"

"It was nice, i ordered some nipple pads so no more embarrassing leaks!" I said chuckling, Bucky was laughing quietly behind me "and i figured out that damn pump.... the weirdest feeling ever!"

"Oh yeah? Even weirder than what we had to do earlier?" He laughed and tightened his hold on me.

"Definitely! your way was more enjoyable" i teased but also felt my cheeks burn at the confession, thank god it was dark so he couldn't see!

"Well I'm always happy to help".

We laid in a comfortable silence both watching our daughter sleep, Bucky was stroking my stomach where his hand rested, i wasnt even sure he knew he was doing it.

"Hey Buck?"

"Yeah doll?"

"I need to ask you something...."

"Okay"

"I dont want you to get mad though, im just curious...."

"Spit it out sweetheart, you can ask me anything"

I took a deep breath gathering my nerves, i had to get this over with!!

"Why did you act like nothing happened that night in Alaska?"

His hand stilled on my stomach for a few seconds and i felt him hold his breath.

"You know what, forget i asked..." i said starting to get up but he pulled me back down to the bed holding me close again.

"Dont go" he said quietly "you just caught me off guard.... you really wanna know why?"

"Yes...."

"I acted like nothing happened because when i woke up i realised you deserved better than me doll. After everything I've done in the past.... i don't deserve someone like you. Id only be a burden on you"

"What....?" I asked not believing what i was hearing, i turned around so i was facing him "how can you say that?"

"Its true" he said giving me a sad smile.

"You’re an idiot James Barnes" i shook my head "you’re not a burden, you are the best man i know" i admitted cupping his face in my hands.

"Well thats not true.... you know Steve"

"You’re still the best man i know" i smiled at him meaning every word.

"But the things ive done...."

"That wasnt you, that was Hydra! If you had been in control of your mind you would never had done any of those things"

"But i still did it" he said sadly.

"It. Wasnt. You" i said again looking him in the eyes "you are a good man Bucky, i know you find that hard to hear but its true. And i will tell you everyday for the rest of my life if i have to" i smiled at him before leaning forward and gently kissing him.

"Doll...." he said pulling away from the kiss, shit! had i really just kissed him??

"Im sorry! I shouldn't have...."

"I love you!" he confessed instantly shutting me up.

"What did you just say....?"

"I said i love you.... im IN Love with you. Ive loved you since the second i met you" he admitted, i could tell by the look in his eyes that admitting this terrified him.

"I love you too" i told him truthfully, if he was being honest it was only fair that i did the same.

"You do?"

"Yes" i whispered before his mouth came crashing down on mine. His hands felt like they were everywhere and it was the best feeling in the world right now. It quickly became heated, i could feel his hardness rubbing against me.

"Buck....as much as i want you inside me right now i cant.... not yet" i pulled away gasping for air.

"I know baby, this is enough for now" he said as he trailed kisses down my neck and continued rubbing up against me.

"You’re gonna be the death of me Barnes!"

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#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #winter soldier #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky x you #sebastian stan #unexpectedarrival #steve x reader

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