#thank you for providing a distraction btw i am in a Mood <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[indecisive-dizzy]

Helloooooo Dizzy! How are you doing? I got Chinese food today so I’m cool 😎

I’m insane so I made designs for DearDollops for the high school angst/Daisey hating Eddie au

Daisey fluctuates between fem, masc, and androgynous looks, but they are fully goth. White foundation, lots of eyeliner, that kind of stuff. Their color palette consists of black, purple, and some red

I tried to give them a lace/transparent coat, but it doesn’t look good 😭

Eddie is just a stereotypical jock, varsity jacket and all. Home is the name of his school, he’s number 15, and they have a bunch of stars curtesy of Sally designing the varsity jackets for the school’s sport teams. He added a flower patch to his cause he was lovely and missed his bestie. Besides that he’s pretty basic lmao

Also I’m changing the lore so Daisey transferred out of Home High School (I’m gonna work on that name 🥲) and went to a new school where they ended up in the “bullies”/unpopular students that are alt and hate everyone

They only see each other during sports games between the two schools and Daisey always cheers for the other team (and Eddie totally doesn’t feel really hurt when he sees that)

Eddie with stubble real- it just works so well I love him

ART ART ART!! LOOK AT THEM <3333

ooo Chinese is good,, I had chicken nuggets and a frappe lol (not from the same place)

Goth <3 good for them. I don't think the transparent coat looks that bad! I can see the vision :]

Varsity jackets,,, oughh my beloveds,,, Eddie in a varsity jacket is everything. My blorbo in my favorite kind of jacket <3 Jock Eddie my beloved

Oh! I like the transfer lore!

Eddie stubble is real and in your home. he's so cute sob wail

[captain-aralias]

Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at one of your works. This could be things that got removed or changed, the origins of ideas/details, whatever you like!

oh hey - it’s trivia tuesday already (i guess it’s been a long two days back at work this week). i know everyone is still working their way through the remixes that are finished and posted - and i say, do this! some cracking stuff. i’m over half way through now, and i want to write up some thoughts about how these 26 stories approached remix - because it’s super inventive. i think people benefited from not being familiar with the format.

but i also wanted to share my thinking around why i picked the fic to remix that i did - and what else i was considering from @bazzybelle‘s ficlist, because i think the thought process around remix is interesting. AND i wanted to show you the 500 words i wrote almost immediately of a completely different remix that i definitely won’t finish. it would have been... a publishing AU, fake relationship with too-early-in-the-relationship sex. all good things in a fic, right?

so - read on for deleted scenes, and discussion of thought process. and don’t read on, if that’s not your jam. 

(in general remember - i’m keen to leave stuff in the original that’s good, rather than just thieve everything. so that’s my thought process here.) 

first idea: 

I Just Want Your Extra Time And Your .....

(texting, sex chat). i already really liked this fic, and i have IRL experience of working in publishing (which you’ll see to some extent in the fic - i worked very near people who worked on celebrity cookbooks, which is what baz works on in the fic) (the launch party is not revealed to be at the groucho club in the bit i wrote, but would have been - and i’ve been there/i know soho, so ... that was all appealing)

my idea was: the original is a text fic, mine isn’t, although they still only know each other through the sex chat set-up. so instead of simon and baz having text-sex (as in the fic), baz asks simon [who he's never met] to come and be his fake date at a publishing launch party where he sees lamb, his former boyfriend. 

the trigger for simon and baz progressing with their relationship/having sex (Because they were going to have sex but IRL) would be the same - baz seeing lamb and freaking out. and some of the texts would be literally copied and pasted in my fic as backstory. 

here were my original notes:

in the original fic there's a bit where baz sees lamb, his ex boyfriend, and then is like - hey, simon distract me and they have phone sex

my fic will essentially start there - baz is at a launch party for one of his books, lamb is there - dating the author. it is awful. baz wants to leave, but can't. also, it's time for the text slot with simon - he goes and hides in a cloakroom

and is texting simon, it's terrible - i am so drunk and it's still terrible. and i think simon offers (rather than baz asks) to come and pretend to be his boyfriend

for some sort of plausible denial reason like baz will text him a lot over hte next few days so he'll get a lot of extra money or some shit, but also because simon thinks lamb is a dick even through teh messages

simon shows up - they both drink a lot. they like each other, simon punches lamb (probably). baz asks if he can take simon to a restaurant, they talk more - they kiss. they go back to a hotel together. they discuss whether or not this means that simon is a prostitute (no). they have sex IRL

baz wakes up - and leaves immediately, obviously.

they text again the next day - it's awkward. simon thinks about how he could track baz down if he wanted to - but he feels like baz doesn't want him to, so he doesn't

simon gets out of his horrible job - baz probably tries to get in touch with him, but can't because he's gone. simon gets a message from baz ....... this is still to be determined

anyway - i will probably steal the meet cute in the elevator, it's nice.

why i stopped writing it: 

i knew it was going to take ages to write - i didn’t have the time or brainspace to write 20k of fic. i’d assumed going in that i could lean on the original fic to provide the meetcute, but realised that since it was an AU, i still needed to sell the relationship - particularly given that they were meeting in real life for the first time in my fic. 

also, it would have been my first mundane AU for the fandom, and my first thing where they weren’t enemies first. (so i was trying to think about how i could get them not to like each other a bit WHILE STILL doing fake dating - and it was throwing me off). it was all just too much.

everything i’ve written is pasted for you at the bottom.

other ideas: 

a month passed. i didn’t write any more on my original remix, but went back to greener grass instead. i sent out the month warning email to remixees and thought - i am not going to finish this fic. 

so, i went back to the list of bazzybelle’s fic and thought what can i write that i can definitely write in a month? 

1. You're F***in' Perfect to Me - daphne POV

i thought, i could write this from malcolm's POV.  in the fic daphne talks a lot about how she and malcolm are just friends, rather than true love, and it's baz she has real (motherly) feelings for, not malcolm. so i thought i could write 'the courtship of mrs grimm' where malcolm gets a wake-up call from this argument, and thinks, i actually do love daphne but she likes my son more than me. he's been hiding behind not wanting to sully natasha's memory, etc, etc. fiona would probably be in it. 

2. bat baz

i also had a bit of a naff idea where instead of baz turning into a bat, in bat baz, he would turn into bat man... 

(interestingly one of the remixes was about baz turning into a cat) 

3. If I Fell In Love With You - which i eventually chose

i took the dancing and the music, the set up, and the theme of communication - also some dialogue. pushed some of the focus onto baz’s relationship with niall, pushed the action back in time towards wayward son, added a truth spell (based on a spell in the original) to force communication.

i think this is one of the most interesting remixes i’ve ever done, btw. i’m really pleased with my take on it. 

i chose this to remix because i thought - it’s only a few scenes, rather than a whole get-together arc, and it felt achievable in the timespan. i also had a strong idea about what i could do that was different - the relationship with niall and the spell, and what i would leave for people to discover in the original (simon’s POV - including the warmth he feels when baz cooks for him, the two of the resolving the initial fight when simon comes home in a bad mood). 

the title is a combination of - another line from ‘if i fell’ but one that is about not talking to each other/not putting yourself out there... and ‘where words fail’ - which is the spell i used, and also picks up on what baz says to niall - that telling simon wasn’t enough. even if he’d had the right words, they wouldn’t have been believable. but - through the music/magic, they were able to communicate. 

i also considered using a line from ‘into my arms’ instead (I believe in some kind of path), since that was the song that the magic is cast on - but it didn’t work as well thematically. 

here’s the fic i wrote: Don’t Run and Hide (The ‘Where Words Fail’ Remix’)

and here’s the remix i didn’t write. i think i almost wanted to finish it just for the elvis gag. alas, alas.

I Just Want your Extra Time: remix, not written

BAZ

I don’t smoke as much as my father thinks I do. And I don’t drink – not usually. This evening, though, I’ve already had several glasses of champagne and I’m on my fourth cigarette, the second this smoke break. Because it’s that or go back inside. And I definitely don’t want to go back inside.

I should have known he’d be here.

Not that he was invited. Not that he’s on the guest list. Not that there’s any reason at all, in fact, for him to be here, except that my life is an absolute disaster. Today definitely not an exception.

If anything, it’s worse than usual. I thought I’d already hit bottom when Dev told me I had to ring our printers – in China – and get them to promise to ship one of our new titles three weeks early, as some idiot had sent the press release out with the wrong date. That was excruciating, but things seemed to be improving.

It’s a launch party night. I’m not sure why, but I always look forward to them, even though I hate crowds. (Niall would probably say, other people in general. And he wouldn’t be far wrong.)

But I get to wear a suit. (Tonight’s is Spencer Hart. Dark grey. Green tie.) And I know Snow is going to text after the first hour. And even though no one ever remembers to thank the editor – not unprompted, anyway – I do enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that I’m responsible for turning whatever dross we’ve been told to sell into something that could loosely be called a book.

This one is a cookbook by an actor (not a chef, in other words. I had to hire someone else to write the recipes and then we just photographed him next to the result.) It should be a triumph. It is – we’ve already sold several thousand copies. I should be enjoying myself. But then I heard a voice next to my ear.

“Baz.” And someone put a hand on my waist. “Don’t you look rosy?”

Not someone. Lambert. (I never called him Francois, even when we were intimate.) As irritatingly handsome as ever. And just as confident I’ll do whatever he wants.

I haven’t seen him for months. Not since he left me Las Vegas to go off with one of the better-looking Elvis impersonators. (And if that isn’t the most humiliating break-up story you’ve ever heard, then I really don’t want to know what is. Dumped. And for Elvis.) (Not even the real Elvis - not that it makes a difference.)

“I hoped I’d see you here,” he – Lambert – told me. “It’s been far too long.”

“Since you left me.”

He gave me a hurt look. “Baz. We said Auf Wiedersehen, not goodbye.”

“Who are you really here with?”

The author, of course. I watched their eyes meet across the room and Lambert smiling, before he told me it wasn’t serious. And that he’d be interested in taking me to dinner.

“Unless you’re seeing someone?”

I raised an eyebrow – even though I know Lambert knows I only do that when I can’t think of anything to say. Which means he probably knows the truth, which is that there isn’t anyone else. Not anyone else real, anyway.  

Which reminds me …

I check my watch – it’s later than I thought.

[anoutlandishidea]

I survived.

Warning: The following post is full of personal opinions and life experiences. If you’d like to scroll thru your dash without the disruptions of another person’s drama, please feel free to do so. The sentence structure, formatting, and grammar of said post below will probably be atrocious. There will be unnecessary gifs. There will be slight rampant exaggeration. There might not even be a point to this post other than my unhealthy need to scream into the void.

Lets start with a little context.

I have three jobs: I nanny for a family three days a week, I nanny-sub*, and I’m a self-employed portrait photographer. I also act whenever I can, but I don’t seem to ever get paid for that.

*I am employed by a nanny service who offers short term (ie, one day) nannies that cover for a nanny who is sick, care for a child who cannot go to their regular childcare provider for a number of reasons, or many other random scenarios. It’s very much like substitute teaching. It’s an on-call position and there’s usually only a day or two notice, sometimes only hours. I tell them when I’m available and they text me jobs. It works well.

Most of the time.

I very rarely know what I’m headed into before I get there, other than the address and ages of the kids, so its completely go-with-the-flow and run with whatever the parents throw at me, which is never dull. The clients are a wide range of income levels and housing situations, but the majority are upper class.

Things usually go bad or get awkward for three reasons: 1. The kids are little monsters. (Or are ill. I don’t do well with bodily fluids other than boogers and drool. Those kind of come with the territory) 2. The house is uncomfortable. (There was one carpet that was so stained you couldn’t even see what color it originally was and it smelled so bad and the kid wanted me to sit on it to play with him. I died. It was my first day. I halfway think they send all the newbies there to test them out.) 3. The parents are still at home. (Sometimes they’re just working from home, and that’s only kind of awkward because they stay out of your way for the most part. Sometimes they’re very much at home and its awkward as all get out.)

Yesterday was due to #3.

When it’s just you and the kids, you can kind of create your own atmosphere and set your own boundaries around the guidelines the parents gave you. When they’re there too, there are no boundaries and its a free for all.

Another point to mention, is that its always 5+ hours at a time. You’re stuck there for the day.

Day before yesterday, I get a text for a job. 5yr old and an 18mo old, 8am-4pm.

Not bad.

I get the contact info and give the mom a call. She explains that her wife is doing chemo and the baby is really attached to her, so they need someone to watch him while she rests. Oh, and by the way, they have family staying with them, so the 5yr old will mostly be hanging with them and their three kids and I’d only need to help help her out with her lunch. The mom I talked to would be at work.

Odd scenario, but ok.

I get there and everyone is in a panic, which is discomforting in and of itself, but they’re all speaking a foreign language. (I’ve worked with a few families who have a different culture/speak a different language than me, and I enjoy it, but) I’m really sensitive to lots of people talking loudly at once, so this was obstacle number one.

The mom I spoke to on the phone (lets call her Mom #1, who is very American, btw) wanders by after a bit and is like “oh, by the way, we got broken into and robbed last night, so that’s what everyone is crazy about right now.”

What?!This family cannot catch a break. Mom #2 is doing chemo and now you’ve had a robbery?! Man. Glad I’m hear to help out a bit.

But... there are five, very capable adults here besides the two moms? Who all have a relationship with this toddler? The toddler who has separation anxiety?

So, yes, lets call in a complete stranger. GREAT idea.

ANYWAY.

Mom #1 brings me upstairs to where Toddler has a death grip on Mom #2. They introduce me to him and the 5yro, who promptly throws her ipad to the floor because she “has no one to play with.” (The cousin sitting next to her is obviously not enough? Or the two others who are still sleeping?)

Mom #2 hands Toddler off to Mom #1 while she explains where everything is, but a code red meltdown has now been triggered in both children.

Lots of screaming. Lots of unhappy children. The horde of cousins are still talking at full volume too.

After much deliberation they decide to put the Toddler in the stroller and send me off on a walk. This seemed like a decent idea. I’d worked with enough toddlers to know that he’d calm down pretty soon once he couldn’t see Mom #2 anymore.

Small problem.

It’d been raining all morning.

But it “wasn’t raining” then.

So, I set off down the driveway with a screaming Toddler. He settled down pretty quickly, as expected, and I felt very much like I dodged a bullet as I strolled thru a nice park with a now sleeping Toddler.

Until it began to rain again.

And by rain, I mean POUR.

Oh, and it was all of 60*. They had sent me and the kid out with a gauzy blanket to cover him, but I snagged a thicker blanket out of my car on the way past as I grabbed my rain coat. You know, “just in case.”

So, I’m standing there, trying to figure out if he’s warm enough and when the torrential rain was going to end.

Cue the first vague text post.

They offered to come pick us up in the car... but I’m like I’d kind of rather be here? In the rain?

It let up pretty soon and I wandered around the park, pushing the stroller. I walked four miles... in a tiny park.

Then he started to wake up and I headed back, not entirely sure what kind of mood he’d be in.

Mom #1′s like “oh, hey, I’m not going to work because I have to deal with all of this robbery stuff” and I’m low key trying to figure out a way to get out of this.

But instead, I feed the Toddler a snack.

His sister and the cousins are completely engaged watching Sing and after he’s done eating he wanders over there too. I don’t blame the kid. It looked fun. (But before she went to watch the movie Sister wandered over and stole half his food?!)

Except, Mom #2 wanders over and is like “since they’re all watching the movie, can you help my mom with the peas?”, so I sit down next to the Grandma and start shelling peas... because I’m a white farm kid from the Midwest and that’s what you do with peas. I had quite the pile going.

Then one of the cousin adults wanders over and tells me in very broken English (but very nicely and politely!) that I’m doing it wrong. I was just supposed to snap the ends off, whatever they’re cooking uses the pods too.

Well, that would have been nice to know.

And that’s when the cops showed up.

NO JOKE.

Cue the next vague text post.

I had a moment of panic before I realized they were there because of the robbery and not because I was getting a parking ticket. (this actually happened to me at a sub job once, except they just left it on my car)

More chaos in a foreign language erupts and I’m hastily shoved out the door to bring the kid to the library. They hand me the diaper bag and put his car seat in the car and my only instructions were to “go to XYZ Library and come back when he gets fussy.”

Its noon. I’m done at four. I have diapers and the kid has snacks. Could I play my cards right and stay at the library all day?

We play until the kid is practically asleep on the floor playing with a truck.

BUT COMPLETELY HAPPY, GOSH DARN IT.

So I text them and they tell me to come back.

Cue the all caps text post.

So I get him in the car and give him a couple goldfish because he hadn’t really eaten lunch and would most likely fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

And he does.

So I pull up to the house and I’m like “he’s asleep, imma just sit here in the car with him.”

So I did.

But then both moms and the 5yro have to leave to go do something for an hour?

And the kid wakes up again before they get back?

So now I’m back in the house with the extended family (who? don’t? speak? English?) and a screaming Toddler who is hungry but won’t eat anything from either me or the mom of the cousin kids. They sang him all sorts of adorable children’s songs in their language. They played play dough. Cousin Mom finally got him to eat some fruit cuz his cousin’s were eating it too... you know, must not be shady if they’re eating it to?

IDK toddler logic sometimes. We should have tried that first.

Cue final text post.

Then the Moms come back and they’re like we still have 15 minutes of your time left, go play outside.

Which on paper makes sense? With any other kid it wouldn’t have been a problem?

Except now they’re moving him away from the cousins who FINALLY had him distracted and content and handing him over to me to go wander about the yard aimlessly for 15 minutes? And he can see his mom inside and he’s outside?

Yeah. That didn’t go well.

So in the end.... they didn’t really do anything bad or ask me to do something that was out line? My day just royally sucked?

Thank you to those who commented/messaged to check in with me. You are appreciated and loved.

Also, I never figured out what language they were speaking? Behind The Name says Mom #2′s name has Arabic and Turkish origins... so I’m going with one of those or something related. Its a beautiful language, whatever it was.