#thank you for letting me draw them it felt kinda therapeutic to do a happy doodle fjhbgvds

[xi-ren]

Surprise for @nephilejon! I was your secret Santa for The Ao No Exorcist Secret Santa this year ^^ Merry almost Christmas and Happy Holidays!

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @saraben00 @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane

~^~

Tuesday, 18:47

Song: EDEN - how to sleep

Lucas seizes up as the front door opens, gathering himself up and pushing to his feet. If he does it naturally, he can probably slip to his room without his father protesting too much. He can probably excuse himself with homework. He won’t have to interact, not properly.

His plan would work perfectly, in normal circumstances. Normal circumstances just usually don’t involve running into a moving skeleton three steps into the hallway.

He’s mildly embarrassed by the squeak he lets out, and by the pitch of his voice as he screeches, “What the fuck?”

His father curses under his own breath, moving the skeleton flapping in his arms out of his face, and mutters, “Language.”

“Dad,” Lucas sputters as the dummy is shoved into his hands. “What the hell is this?”

Hugo ushers him back into the sitting room, following behind with shopping bags hanging heavily from his hands. He dumps them on the coffee table and takes the skeleton out of Lucas’s arms to prop him up on the couch, watching them with a gaping, toothy grin. “Halloween decorations.”

Lucas bites back the urge to sarcastically thank him for stating the obvious and chooses to further his question. “Why?”

After the scoldings Lucas has gotten over the past few weeks, watching his father turn to him with his hands on his hips is a rather nerve-wracking thing. The smile on his face, however, turns out to be the most disconcerting. “So we can decorate.”

“We?”

“I thought it would be something nice to do together,” Hugo shrugs.

Lucas blinks at him. He feels the need to tread cautiously. He’s very worried that he’s somehow being played, in an oddly surprising way. “But...Halloween is in four days.”

“Exactly.”

“Everyone else has had their houses decorated for weeks.”

“Yeah, but we’ve only been getting moved in. We have the best excuse.”

Lucas continues to stare at him.

Hugo sighs, rubbing his hand over his brow, gesturing at the skeleton. “Do you have to be such a moody teen over everything? I bought a skeleton, buddy.”

The old nickname softens Lucas a little bit. Just a little. He looks at the skeleton once more. Flimsy, about three-quarters the height of Lucas, black smudges dotting his gray-toned bones. The right number of ribs, missing a tooth (with another cracked), eye sockets deeply sunken. Just on the realistic side of cartoonish.

Lucas asks, “What’s his name?”

His father grins proudly. “Tim.”

“Tim?”

“Same as one of my old-coworkers. Piece of work himself. One of the know-it-all types. Even worse than a moody teenager.”

Lucas can’t help it. He snorts. “Poor Tim.”

His father waves a hand at him. “Well, he’s a member of the household now. A blessedly silent member.”

Lucas raises his brows. He examines the skeleton once more, then leans forward and gently picks up its left arm. He presses the small button on the inside of its wrist.

Tim’s eyes flash red as his jaw drops open in evil, mechanical laughter.

Hugo jumps and curses under his breath again and Lucas lets out a laugh, delighted. He leans back in to grip Tim around the waist, picking him up and drawing that same arm around his shoulder, playing with the skeletal fingers. It’s unexpected. To be turning to his father with a grin, to feel the remnants of laughter settling cosily in his stomach. He likes it, and he likes the soft smile that lightens his father’s eyes, and he likes the comfort of the small space when it lacks the tension and the animosity of the previous few days, of the past week.

He asks, carefully, “What else did you get?”

His father beams. He moves to the bags on the table and begins pulling banners out of the way, followed by a packet of bats and pumpkin lights and various other witchy products. Lucas feels his pleasure grow at each new item and nods approvingly.

“Good idea?”

Lucas nods, humming. “You’ve definitely had worse.”

The man accepts the jibe with nothing more than a small shrug. “You happy enough to take an hour to do it now? I’ll start hanging these around the place and you can get Tim situated. Maybe somewhere around the door?”

“Sounds good,” Lucas agrees. He grips Tim’s arm tighter and carries him out into the hallway, making sure to press the little button once more as he passes his father. He chuckles at the swears he receives in response.

It’s almost therapeutic. Even as the desire to let Tim’s bones scatter on the street grows, there’s something simplistic and soothing about decorating the place. Something that makes it feel a little more like it’s his. A little more like a home. It helps that he loves Halloween. He loves the spookiness, the eeriness, the beauty in the horror. It’s satisfying, watching the angry little pumpkin faces emit a stunningly bright glow. There’s a sort of poetry to all of it, he supposes, to the veil around the world becoming foggy, to the masks people wear becoming visible.

There’s an artistry, too, that he appreciates more than anything. The sharpness, the otherworldliness, the darkness. The meaning under it all, of the in-between.

Beauty in the horror.

He supposes there’s a little beauty, too, in doing it together. They work together to hang the string-lights up in the hall, and the silence isn’t strained or uncomfortable. It’s companionable, filled with little huffs of laughter as one or the other gets caught, or trips, or drops the line. The usual simmering anger that sits in his chest is entirely absent, just for these few moments.

“You used to love Halloween when you were a kid,” his father says suddenly, and Lucas glances over at him. “Your mom always avoided buying stuff she thought would scare you, but you never flinched at any of it. You wanted all the weird loud things that used to make Kes bawl his eyes out. The only things you didn’t want were the spiders.”

Lucas laughs at the idea of little Kes, terrified, and Lucas enjoying scaring him as he had with his dad today. He remembers how his friend would retaliate, finding the biggest fake-spider in the place and sneaking up to set it on Lucas’s shoulder. He’d only stopped at the age of twelve, when Lucas had given him the silent treatment for a week in response. “I did notice you didn’t bring any of those back.”

“I do pay attention, sometimes. I also remember that you liked it most because of all the sweets.”

“You could have just brought back a cake,” Lucas agrees lightly, shooting him a grin.

“Yeah, but we couldn’t have shared that. You would’ve eaten it all yourself.”

Lucas laughs quietly, realising he can’t argue, that there’s plenty of proof in the past to refute anything he would say. There’s a calm that has settled over him, and he relishes in it.

For a moment.

“Hey, Luc,” his father starts slowly, and some of the tension in Lucas returns. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you. It’s a big change, and a bad age to be making it, and I don’t know how many times I can apologise for it before you’ll forgive me.”

Lucas tacks his end of the lights to the wall and listens carefully.

“I should be making it easier for you, but I think it’s pretty obvious that I just have no idea how. It used to be so easy for us, too, you know? I used to know you so well. Now I keep stuffing up.”

Lucas slowly lowers his hands to his sides and turns to face him. “Dad,” he starts, but the man shakes his head.

“I was harsh on you the other night. And the week before that. I know that. I just don’t know what else to do. You don’t let me in. I can only react to what I see. And maybe I overreacted, but I only do what I think is right. I think what worried me most, about the weed, is that it didn’t surprise me. And now, I know, it’s probably natural to all of you nowadays and it might not surprise many, but it’s more that—well it didn’t surprise me that you managed to hide it from me. It was just another nail in the coffin.”

“I don’t hide everything from you,” Lucas says quietly. “You surprise me a lot more often.”

“I know,” Hugo says, just as gentle, abandoning his task to turn to Lucas too. “I know, buddy, and I am sorry. I’m trying to do better. But I need you to try with me.”

Lucas swallows thickly, averting his gaze to his feet for a moment. There’s a war going on in his chest, the childish urge to hold onto this leverage over his father and the desperate desire to give in, to claw for some semblance of harmony. Beyond all of it, canceling out all the rest, is the whisper that whatever answer he gives won’t matter. The harmony could never last, and he’s stupid to hold onto that tiny bit of hope, a tattered little shred he hadn’t even realised he held.

But it’s this little whisper that strengthens his resolve, that makes him return his gaze to the man before him and give a tiny nod.

“Okay. I will. Promise.”

His dad squeezes his shoulder, and none of his anger returns at the contact. He leans into it, and he lets himself hope.

Hugo lets him go and moves to tack up the middle of the string-lights. “So as it’s my proposal, I feel like I should make the first move, and say if you wanted to have a few friends or something over for Halloween, that would be okay.” He pauses. “You have friends here, right?”

Lucas huffs. “Yes, I have managed to make friends here. But everyone will be going out for Halloween. They know I’m not allowed out, so they probably already have plans, or whatever.”

The realisation settles in that this may very well be true, and it’s another sting settling in his heart. He’s still too invested, much too invested, and he still hasn’t figured out what to do about it. Managing his emotions felt a lot easier when he was pretending—even with himself—that he didn’t have any.

Now every time he sees Jens without him, he aches, and when he sees Jens with Jana, he breaks, and when he sees Jens at all, he has various emotions that he really doesn’t want to think about in such close proximity to his father.

His father, who is currently frowning at him in genuine concern. “You really think so? Surely good friends would make the effort to include you.”

Lucas thinks of Jens messaging him about meeting up even while thinking he was in a different country. Of Jens dragging him to the party a few days before that. Always of Jens.

He directs his gaze back down to the ground and shrugs. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t ask that of them. I haven’t even known them that long.”

Hugo sighs and makes his way back to the kitchen, leaving Lucas to stand alone for a moment before following. They hang up half a packet of bats before the older man says, “A curfew is still kind of a punishment, right?”

Lucas whips his head up to look at him. He’s focused on the bat in his hands, unwilling to look at his son and the excitement suddenly building in him. “Yes, definitely. Better than grounding, really. More embarrassing. Will definitely get me laughed at.”

“So, say, if you wanted to go out with these friends of yours. That would be okay, as long as you’re back by midnight?”

Lucas nods quickly. Much too quickly.

Hugo’s eyes narrow. “Midnight’s too good, isn’t it?”

“No, of course not, midnight is super lame.”

“No, make it ten.”

“Ten?” Lucas tosses his hands up. His dad turns to look at him, now raising his brows in challenge. “Eleven,” Lucas counters.

The man considers him. “Ten-thirty. Final offer.”

“Midnight was your first offer!”

Brows are raised further.

Lucas blows out a breath and turns on his heel to collect more bats. “Ten-thirty.”

It takes ten more minutes of hanging decorations before Lucas chances asking.

“So, does this mean I can have my weed back?”

His father stares at him. “Buddy, I might not be able to stop you from smoking it, but I can’t just give it to you. I have some parenting skills, you know.”

“It could be bonding! We could share that too.”

“Nice try. Give me that orange tinsel. We’ll give Tim a little sparkle.”

[franeridart]

i loooove how you draw hands

Oh gosh thank you!!! I feel like I have a very long way to go before they’ll be as nice as my fav artists draw them, but I’ve been trying! I’m glad you’re liking where the effort is going!!

Anon said:Have you thought about any fusions for villains?

I haven’t really thought about any fusion at all since the last time I drew them some couple years ago, ngl haha

Anon said:I was looking through your older blog posts and I say Akane, so..... Are you planning on doing some more art with her???? (I love her interactions with Kiri, and it would be nice to see some of her backstory)

I don’t really plan my stuff before I draw it, ngl, but I do still like her so!! Probs! I can’t promise anything right now since inspo is super low in the drawing field currently, but I do hope to get back on her!

Anon said:You’re my favourite artist, I adore your art style and you’ve replied to my asks before :D But I have a request..? I know it’s not a commission but just hear me out. I’ve had this thing in my head for awhile. Kiri’s usually a ray of sunshine, but His day was just terrible, he’s in a bad mood and someone really makes him mad. So, he just loses it. Punches that person in the face several times and has to be pulled off of said person forcefully. (Kinda like your ‘Stopping an angry Kiri” comic // I’m the person, who wrote the angry Kiri ask- Stupid word count, I’d like to add something. Please. That is all, I think I came off a little rude xD Please, consider my idea. Love your work so much, thank you for the delicious kiribaku food.

It’s okay, you didn’t come off as rude at all! And thank you so much for considering me a fav o(T^T)o anyway, I don’t mind the suggestion at all but to actually feel like drawing it I’d need to come up with a reason why Kiri would go that far, since it’s really not something he does... and it should also be something that’s bad enough to get K to react like that but would still have everyone else consider it an extream, uncalled for reaction....... I dunno, I’ll have to think about it!

Anon said:My Sixth Wheel Zine just came in and holy crap I absolutely adore your comic!!! Its just so damn cute I'm dying!! The colors!!! The squad just being so happy for them!! Just AHHHH THANK YOU for this gem!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOD!!!! THANK YOU!!!! I’m so happy you liked it, I’m still really really happy with that comic so knowing it delivers is a wonderful feeling! And I hope you liked the rest of the zine too!!!

Anon said:I'm so glad I'm not the only one who ships Black Star and Death the kid 😅 (btw ♥️ all your stuff and hope you have a blessed day)

They’re...... such a good otp..........such a great one............ I love them so much......................ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should doodle them again ;;;; or reread se again too............ what a manga o(T^To)

Anon said:As part of the very scattered conversation I use these asks for, I have a question which might be too personal for you to answer, and that would be perfectly ok. I love your fluff (and more recently also steamy Kiri blossoming out of his sweater, HOT DAMN), but at the same time, sometimes it fills me with melancholy, probably because I compare my life to it (maybe body image is also part of it). Is it the same for you? Is drawing therapeutic for you, to the point it can hurt at times?[continued] // [continuation] And btw, I want to stress this: my insecurities are in no way your responsibility, your content is absolutely lovely, and at most it puts me in a dialogue with them, it does not cause them, and that is actually very, very valuable. I talked about myself to try and understand if it was something you felt as well, to some degree. But again, I absolutely understand if this is too personal for you to answer.

First things first, thank you so much for the nice words! (T^T)

So, yeah, that’s why I’m always drawing mushy stuff. And yeah sometimes I get too deep into my own head and start feeling sad over the fact that lately this is the only way I’ve managed to feel it, the whole being in love thing. But all in all the pros of drawing these things outweight the cons, for me, so! It’s not all bad! Just gotta remember that the fact that I don’t have it now doesn’t mean I won’t have it in the future, and keep on filling my time waiting with happy thoughts of other (fictional) people being in love haha

Anon said:You make my day, you make my life, like I don’t even know I JUST LOVE YOU AND YOUR ART IT MAKES ME SO HAPPYKWDLSJC Thank you T^T

NO ANON THANK YOU!!!!! (TT^TT)

[midnightsix3]

I dived into some of my older drawings today and one in particular caught my attention, I had almost forgotten about this. This is the first ever drawing I did of Nyreen. 

She was… quite different from how she is now, right? Yeah, when I saw it I kind of couldn’t believe it… that’s from 2015 actually. I’d like to elaborate on her creation process so if anybody wants to know more about that I’ll ramble about it here below with a couple more old drawings of her too. It’s kind of long so I don’t blame you if you don’t want to read it LOL.

So um, back when I first started drawing I was never much of an OC guy. I had a couple dragon and cat characters I either designed or adopted but I never invested myself that much on them before. I mostly drew fanart and other friends’ characters (especially Callykitty’s LOL) so having an OC of mine was something pretty alien.

Back when I first started drawing MLP fanart I mostly focused on that, characters from the show and sometimes other people’s OCs but making a pony OC of my own every time got me like “dude no wtf, what would that even look like”. For a long time I was too afraid I guess? to make one of my own.

So fast-forward to 2015 I had a Photoshop course in college, we had one assignment which was to design a character and color it in there. I was super pumped like, I had been drawing a lot of stuff in Photoshop ever since middle school so having an assignment for school to do just that was immensely exciting.

After a week of brainstorming, thinking to myself about how that character would look like, sketching and drawing ideas I came up with this:

I had always loved dragons even before I drew ponies, they’re pretty much what made me start drawing in the first place so making a dragon made sense. Looking back she’s obviously a dragon-pony mix but at the time I kinda overlooked that. I don’t think I ever put in so much passion into a school assignment before.

Her name came out from what I was playing at the time, there was this really badass character, a female turian, from a DLC in Mass Effect 3 that’s called Nyreen Kandros. Her name immediately stuck with me so when I sat down and thought about how I should name her the choice was pretty obvious.

We even had to print it, going to the print shop to have a drawing of mine printed was so unreal (which the teacher actually kept, wish I had gotten that back though). Oh and I even made a couple other sketches in Ps to get a better sense of her, I even doodled her as a bat pony, which looking back is kind of funny.

Come the due date at class, we were told we had to present our character. I immediately froze. I thought we only had to hand it in and it would be done deal right? I thought it wouldn’t go beyond that.

But no, we had to stand in front of the class with our prints in hand and explain our character... I’ve always hated talking in public you have no idea, I get so fucking nervous I can’t even talk properly. But yeah, there you have me talking about this stupid character I designed in front of my other classmates and a couple of friends. It mostly went well I guess, people seemed to like her design and the teacher was happy with what I had come up with so I felt good about it.

After that I kind of forgot about her? I drew her like once or twice after but not much more than that.

That last one was a vent from some assignment I had, don’t exactly remember which one but I was pretty mad LOL.

Come 2016, late 2016 I had this idea bouncing around my head of making a pony OC for myself, I said “fuck it let’s just do it dude”. So I went back to what I had done for that class since I liked it so much and redesigned most of her look. I think the first ever sketch of her as a pony was this, I didn’t date that but I’m pretty sure it was:

Always date your sketches kids. After that I made a couple more sketches and decided to create her first reference sheet:

I really liked that sheet, I was so excited to have a character for myself I ended up drawing her a lot and like everybody who has any OCs, ideas start flowing into your head about how their story should be, their personality, likes, dislikes, whatever- just like... all of those things.

Fast-forward to 2017 I redid her reference sheet again and tweaked some small stuff from her and ultimately came up with how she looks like up to this point. I am very happy with how that ref sheet came out, actually.

So yeah that’s kind of the story of how I came to create Nyreen, I did this mostly to show those old sketches but I kind of got excited I guess? If it wasn’t obvious she’s kind of a very personal thing for me, which I’d like to think is something most people who have OCs of their own feel. 

Sorry this was such a big wall of text, I actually didn’t expect to write this much. I guess it was kind of therapeutic? I don’t know.

And if you’ve actually read all of this up to this point then I’m completely baffled. Don’t think anybody would even care that much to read up to this point to be honest, but thank you for reading my ramble!

[ijustcantwaittobeme]

My ZR Secret Santa

I wanted to wait to be sure that @runningalchemist wouldn’t mind me sharing their beautiful work since they are on hiatus. So with their permission, I am honored to share what @runningalchemist‘s ZR Secret Santa gift was to me this year. It is so endearing and lovely - if anyone reads this - even though they are on hiatus, please share some love with them too! Not sure when they will see this but thank you again @runningalchemist for creating this and taking the time to give me such a wonderful gift. I hope your hiatus is treating you well and just know that you and this gift are very much appreciated! Thank you so much!

Title: Love and Memories Warning/Spoilers(?): Mentions of S2 and S3 characters but otherwise spoiler free.  Characters: Sam Yao, Jody Marsh, Janine De Luca, Amelia Spens, and Runner Five.  (Mentioning of other characters as well!) Description: “    “Sam, what are you doing? You never do reports in here.” Uh-oh, she was crossing her arms now! Yep, he wasn’t getting out of this one. Best just tell her, he was never the best at lying anyway.   “Alright, but you cannot tell anyone, Jody. This is something special.”

“Sam! Sam!”

    Sam jerked his head up hearing his name shouted, which resulted in him hitting his head on the underside of the comm-shack desk. For a split second he was worried that it was Janine calling for him. After the initial shock wore off, and the throbbing on the back of his head, Sam concluded that it most certainly was not Janine. In fact, it sounded a lot more like Jody.

    Still, even though it was Jody, she could not know what he was doing. With the grace of a highly trained spy, Sam resumed a sitting position in his chair and leaned back innocently, which is to say he did it with the grace of a duck on land with oversized flippers (he banged his knee at least three times getting into his chair).

    His saving grace was the little fact that the door to the comm-shack tended to stick the colder the weather got. It took Jody a few seconds longer than usual to open the door. That didn’t stop her from being suspicious though.

    “What’cha doing, Sam” Jody asked with her usual smile.

    “Who? Me? Nothing. Just finishing up some reports for Janine.” Yeah, that was the wrong thing to say. Since when does he willingly stay in the comm-shack to finish reports for Janine. Usually he was finishing them up in the mess hall or in the rec center, where in both places he gets overly distracted.

    “Sam, what are you doing? You never do reports in here.” Uh-oh, she was crossing her arms now! Yep, he wasn’t getting out of this one. Best just tell her, he was never the best at lying anyway.

    “Alright, but you cannot tell anyone, Jody. This is something special.” She took him at his word. She had her serious face on, her this is an archery challenge and I am going to win face.

    Sam went back under the desk. It was dangerous, but hiding the box behind all the wires was the best way he could think to keep the box secret.

    “I’ve been working on this for a little while. A few others have been helping me with this. Even Janine has been working on this with me.” As if he was holding a baby, Sam handed the box to Jody.

    Her breath was taken away when she removed the lid. One by one she removed the contents as Sam explained what each one was. The first couple of items were lists of five things each. Multiple lists were made, and based on the different handwriting styles they were all by different people.

    “I went around to some of the people that Runner Five interacts with and asked everyone to write down their five favorite things about them. Even Janine contributed a list!” Sam explained.

    As Jody stopped as she came across a certain name. “This…this one is from Sara! How long have you been doing this?”

    Sam rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced to the floor, his eyes held a great deal of sorrow for a moment before he answered Jody’s question.

    “I…I started it shortly after Abel was destroyed by the rocket-launcher wielding zombies, soon after we started working with New Canton. There’s a list from Archie in there. Even Major De Santa wrote a list for Five.” Sam chuckled, granted it was a nervous one, but a chuckle all the same. “I had thought about asking Nadia to contribute to the list, but I haven’t gotten around to it. Even though they have worked together pretty well since the…uh, the deadlock incident, I have been wondering if I even should ask her.”

    “Have you asked our new Major, that Amelia Spens?” Jody asked. Jody didn’t care for Amelia, if her constant attempts at avoiding her was proof of anything.

    “No, I don’t want to ask her. She wouldn’t have anything good to say about Five.”

    Sam watched as Jody pulled the next several items out of the box. They were some of his favorite photos. Candid shots of Five were always the best. Yes, taking pictures of Runner Five while they were sleeping could definitely be considered creepy. But, come on, Five was just sleeping with three cats curled around them. How could anyone not take a picture of that!

    “Sam, where did you get all these pictures?” Jody was astonished. There were pictures of Five playing Demons and Darkness. There were pictures of Five serving food in the mess hall. There were pictures of Five and Simon having bike races around the quad. There were pictures of Five helping out with the little kids. There were pictures of Five dancing. It seemed like Sam had gathered every single picture ever taken of Runner Five since the apocalypse started.

    “I asked around to see if anyone had any pictures of Five. I had taken most of those myself, but Maxine and Jack and Eugene contributed most of the rest.”

    “Wait a minute! I know this picture!” Sam moved so that he could see what picture Jody was holding in her hand, quite close to her face.

    Sam smiled once he saw what picture it was. That was not a day that anyone would soon forget. In the picture, Runner Five was almost jumping up and down in excitement with a large grin plastered on their face. Jody had just made the winning archery shot for Abel Township in a competition against New Canton. Five had been Jody’s assistant for that contest. Several people, Jack and Eugene included, had wanted Jody and Five to race to see who was the fastest. Both runners declined the race in favor of more celebrating.

    Seeing a picture of a moment when everything was just going right brought a smile to Sam’s face. He was so caught up in his memories that he missed Jody grabbing the last items in the box. It was only her gasp that brought him back to reality.

    “Sam, are these-“ Jody began.

    “Yeah, they are. The kids like bringing Five little items they find and collect and they like bringing Five a bunch of their drawings,” Sam said.

    “I knew the kids did something like this. I even have a few, but no where near as many as Five’s got.”

    “Most of those are from Molly,” Sam explained. “She likes bringing Five a new picture every week. She’s always been proud that she was the first person that Five directly saved since they arrived in Abel.”

    “But, how come I never see Five with these drawings?”

    “Oh, that’s because Five had asked me to keep them safe. I keep the pictures here until Five asks to see them. A lot of the time that the are in here they are looking at the drawings. I think it’s somewhat therapeutic for them.”

    Jody was quiet for quite a while. The entire time she just stood there, staring at a child’s drawing of their hero. In this case, that hero was Runner Five.

    “We have to do something for Runner Five, something nice.” Jody’s abrupt announcement startled Sam.

    “Yes! We should, but what should we do?”

    “Hmm, let me think.”

    Sam could have sworn he heard the lightbulb turn on above Jody. Her impish smile that accompanied said lightbulb confirmed Sam’s suspicions. This was gonna be fun!

    “I know exactly what we need to do!”

    Five was nervous. Janine had summoned them to her farmhouse. While that in itself is not strange or scary, this time was different. This time there was a look in Janine’s eye. It was common knowledge that Janine was always hiding something, more than one something actually. That was just her way, and it very rarely worried Five. Today, though, it felt like Janine was desperately trying to hide something from Five. If Runner Five didn’t know better, it almost seemed like Janine was planning a surprise party or something.

    As they made their way to the farmhouse, they kept rubbing their knuckles together. It was a simple nervous habit. Maxine had jokingly told Five before that they were going to rub off the skin on their knuckles if they kept doing that.

    Before Runner Five opened the kitchen door to Janine’s farmhouse, they could hear voices inside. One was Amelia’s and the other was Jody’s. The door was too thick to let actual words through, but the tones could be determined. Amelia was being her snarky self and Jody was having none of it.

    Sure enough, when Five opened the door there Amelia was looking down with a smirk on her face at Jody, who was nearly on her tippy-toes trying to get in Amelia’s face. That’s the downfall of being a head shorter than someone. It makes it very difficult to intimidate someone when you’re looking up at them.

    “Ms. Spens.” Ah, Janine was talking now. “I approved Ms. March’s idea.”

    “Oh, you approved it. Did you think of checking with me to see if I approved it?” It was hard to tell if Amelia was actually upset or not.

    “No, I didn’t.” Janine, blunt as always.

    “Come on, Amelia. We need this, we all need this. Going around and getting this put together has made a lot of people happy,” Sam said.

    “And it’s not like it’s hurting you. You didn’t have to do anything for it, so that should make you happy.” Jody hadn’t moved from her position in front of Amelia. Five had to admit it was kinda adorable.

    “Fine, fine, do whatever you want with this. But don’t expect me to approve of any parties or anything else. This is it.”

    Amelia turned from the rest to leave the farmhouse when she spotted Five standing just inside the doorway eavesdropping, or whatever it is you call it when someone walks into a conversation and just listens without anyone else knowing.

    “Runner Five, as soon as you are done here come find me. I have a run I need you to do for me. Don’t take longer than ten minutes, it is time sensitive.” And without another word, Amelia walked past Five and out the farmhouse.

    “Five!” Jody shouted as she raced to Five and began dragging them further into the house. Her grin must have been infectious, because Sam had an equally large one on his face and even Janine had a small smile on hers. Whatever was going on it had to be big and it had to be good!

    On Janine’s kitchen table was an object about ten inches wide, fifteen inches long, and at least three or four inches deep covered with a cloth. Sam, Jody, and Janine were staring at Five with expectation and giddiness, at least on Sam’s and Jody’s parts (they both looked like they were about to jump out of their skin with excitement). Gingerly, Five grasped the cloth and pulled it away. Underneath was a large leather-bound book. Sliding it towards themselves, Five opened the book to the first page.

    Runner Five,

    This is a scrapbook of sorts for you. Pretty much everyone in Abel, and a few New Canton residents, contributed to this scrapbook. We love you Five, we all do. We just wanted to make sure that you know that. So that’s what this scrapbook is for. To show you how much we care and love you.

                            Jody, Sam, and everyone else.

          Just that small letter at the beginning of the scrapbook nearly brought tears to Five’s eyes. Flipping page after page, Five saw pictures and drawings and letters and little notes that a couple of people wanted to put in the margins.

    Runner Five wasn’t even halfway through the book before the tears started falling. Some of them were happy tears, other were bittersweet tears (memories of those no longer here), and some of the tears were just from being so overwhelmed.

    Jody had wrapped her arms around Five in a hug when she noticed the tears. Sam joined in the hug a few seconds later. While Janine didn’t hug Five, she did place her hand on Five’s arm in a comforting gesture (from her it was as good as a hug).

    “Runner Five, as reluctant as I am to break this up, which I am, Ms. Spens has requested your assistance on a run. I do not approve of this run, she has not run it by me. Never the less, she is the one sent to us and we must follow the chain of command.” It really did sound like Janine was reluctant to send Five out on a run after showing them the scrapbook.

    “Go on, Five. Sam and I will make sure that this gets someplace safe,” Jody said.

    “Good luck out there, Five,” Sam said. “I’ll be monitoring the comm channels in case Amelia tries to pull anything. Don’t worry, Five, I’ve got your back. We all do.”

[kingoftheravensarchive]

This is gonna get sappy. Hello! Thank you for 2K (again)! 

Honestly, when I left 2-3 yrs ago I didn’t have any intentions on returning, or at least I hoped beyond hope I wouldn’t cave. I did, though. I’ve been sharing headspace with Uni for a long time, though by official count it’s at five years. A fella I’ve spent a lot of one-on-one time with, getting to know, helping him grow, and he, in turn, helping me in a lot of ways. Writing him has been therapeutic in a way I cannot even begin to describe and when we left those years ago it was for a number of reasons. The biggest being that we--or, really, I--felt as though we had overstayed our welcome. Uni wasn’t shiny and new anymore, hadn’t been for some time, so finding people to write with was like pulling teeth. I had just recently been plagiarized, too, and that honestly made me too paranoid with everything/one. 

But, lo and behold, I returned at the beginning of the year or so, though my activity was in and out for personal reasons. Since properly returning with a fixed schedule not two months ago, I must say I am so... relieved by the way he’s been [re]accepted back into the RP community. Even despite his divergence, despite my hesitance to divulge too much info, etc. It’s been so refreshing to see him get all this activity, to have people want to interact with him, to want to get to know him. AND BLESS THESE SHIPS, HONESTLY. Basically, we love you all and I would thank you all individually but that’d take a long time. Hence this blurb before the proper bias list to say we appreciate you all and wanna write with everyone!

That being said, this bias list will only cover people I’m very close to, people who’ve been following Uni for a long time, or have simply meant quite a bit to us in recent weeks. Please do not be upset if you’re not listed below, as it’s nothing personal and we do appreciate you! It’s just I follow a LOT of people, and, tbh we aren’t close yet-- that can certainly be changed! I’m very friendly despite the nickname! Never hesitate to IM me or ask for my Discord! 

TL;DR hello you are all amazing, thank you so much for all you’ve done for us!! pls buy Uni’s books when I write them lmao. below the cut is my bias list starting with the extra special people!

THE RAVENS

honestly crying for days over these people nbd

@frostkingoftheapocalypse --- HOW HAVE YOU STUCK AROUND FOR THIS LONG? i am amazed. i am also amazed we never talked sooner since we’ve known each other for like... 4 yrs lmfao. AHHH TASHA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! you give me so much life and I appreciate our friendship, even if it’s late in the making, bc you’re so sweet and generous and a MOM omg. MOM FRIEND. and your writing has always intimidated me in a good way so to be able to finally, properly write with you is an HONOR tbh. you’re such a bright, unwavering light with such a fleshed out boy who’s BEAUTIFUL, and phenomenal drawings (I have that photo you made of Uni as my phone bg), and I honestly can’t wait to see what else we manage to create together. hit me with that good shit, tbh. I love you, Tash. <3

@sonofagunslinger --- CRIES FOR DAYS. Em ilu with my whole heart and soul tbh like you mean so much to me. thank u for riding on this painful/achingly cute ship with me bc Trickshot gives me so much life. you’re so amazing and such a fantastic friend like wtf. look at all this talent bunched up in one person, I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am you came back to tumblr RP and WANTED TO WRITE WITH ME AGAIN like wtf. Jesse is such a little goddamn shit and I love it (Uni, too, ofc) and the headcanons you have for him and his 10/10 FC choice, and ALSO UR ART WTF. I’m still convinced satan lives in you tho bc you sometimes hit me with serious angst that makes me wanna lie down and d i e. but I love it. I love everything we’ve created for Trickshot SO MUCH. THESE BOYS KILL ME. I LOVE YOU, EM. <3

@velvettclaws --- oh NUT. omg I... adore you so much. how dare you be as amazingly wonderful as you are, I am attacked. when we first started writing together I honestly was like “they are SO out of your league, Vicious, look at this style, look at this talent, look at this characterization, are you kidding? it’s gonna be one interaction and that’s it” but I have never been so wrong. and HAPPILY wrong, too. Gabriel is such a beautiful, flawed, eldritch soul with so much thought put into the intricacies of his life, his being, etc and I’m so honored that he chose Uni to be part of it in some way and that we’re still writing together. I l o v e your writing so much, it’s so pretty and GOALS AF in a lot of ways and combined with lil’ Gabu as a whole and YOU ooc, oh my gosh. I die. like this if you cry every time bc I sure af do. you’re so supportive and encouraging and darling, too precious and pure for us, honestly. but I am so, so grateful for you and Gabriel. thank you. ilu so much <3 ;w;

@oneiromanc --- how do I even begin to explain how much I appreciate and adore you??? let me count the ways... we’d be here for an eternity tbh and by then you’d be so sick of me. c; AHHH BAB omg I love you so fkn much. like our boys themselves are just... so achingly wonderful and I love how spontaneous their relationship was and how far they’ve come in just a short while (writing wise), but also... like you’re so fantastic?? such a supportive, amazing, beautiful person who I only wanna smother with love and all the happiness in the world bc you deserve it and so much more! you’re a light in a dark place and I’m so glad we’ve gotten close bc GAAAAAH. I cry. I adore writing with you and reading the things you create and I’m so... thankful to be part of the process, if only in a small way bc your writing is phenomenal and deserving of all the appreciation, just like you!! I love you so much hnnn! ;w;

@angelofoverwatch --- (i know ur on a hiatus again but that’s okay bc ur still my bff). LENORE... omg... ur such a good. such a pure, kindhearted, sweet soul. you were one of the first people I actually properly WROTE with when I came back and it was... so nice??? I LOVE writing with you more than you know and to see all the thought you’ve put into Angela is inspiring and AMAZING. You’re both two beautiful people and I am so grateful we met bc we got somethin’ goin’ here with our babies that is so wonderful, I love it so much and wanna DO SO MANY THINGS WITH THEM. And I want to buy all your art tbh like holy shit look at this talented af human! ilu bb <3 and we’ll be here for when you return!! and even if not, we’re still here for you!

@fenwxlf --- cries for days I loooove you, Cait, so goddamn much and I know some days I seem kinda “meh” with everything but pls know I appreciate you so much and everything we’ve created together in the last 5 years or so. Fenrir is such a prick, just like his dad, and I LOVE it and how much he’s grown. to be part of that is amazing and honestly I am so honored you picked Uni to be MAIN DAD. and I’m so grateful and flattered tbh that you are so tied in with the raven folklore, too, and have immersed yourself in it. NEED ALL THE BIRBS TBH. I just... you mean so much to me that I can’t properly put it into words but I’m so grateful for our friendship, for being able to write with you, to be part of Fen and Svad’s characterization process/es and... all of it. you’re amazing ooc and I’ve loved to keep up with all you’ve done in the last few years and I’m so happy we never really broke contact even during our hiatus bc you’re a phenomenal friend, irreplaceable. you perfect cinnamon roll /sobs forever. Uni and I love you all soooooo much <3

THE CROWS

the folks who have been around for a long, long, long time tbh. how have you not gotten sick of us?? if i’m missing people, i’m so sorry! if you’ve been around for 3+ years, we are amazed you’re still here, for one, and also SO GRATEFUL. you are the reason I keep writing.

@sultrysupernaturals / @agentharrisonofshield & @stiitchwiitchsera / @jennathearcher / @lilylacey / @mordorshi / @madxwonderland

THE MAGPIES

some special mentions! people who mean a lot to me and/or Uni, people we appreciate so much, whom we’ve adored writing with, etc! i’m definitely missing people on this list! my brain only does so well, y’know.

@ircnwccd / @brazenlass / @talonsaconite / @stxrmurdottir / @asgardianhammer / @valadhxfndr / @maegtig / @zehsvara / @crowsandmalachite / @iisfet / @aldrnaari / @tricksandtreason & @jxrmungand / @viiribus / @strongindependentmen / @iridcscentiisms / @jenniferwallters & @claudiadelicncourt / @vasvvani & @aropoakande / @alalkomeneis / @huntingglory & @sifshieldmaiden / @roipirate

[darby-drabbles]

Okay, so!! I made a couple posts last night, just casually talking about how I don’t really talk about some serious oc topics and how I usually feel weird posting them or going too in depth, like it’s not the right time to bring up the serious and sad topics or something like that. But after making those posts I actually started to ramble about something?? I went longer than I thought, though, it was hard to finish up this post and it was pretty late when I did. And, since I’m gonna be busy later today I decided I’d just, queue this for the morning an hope for the best.

I’ll put it under a read more, but this post will be talking about Izzy’s pregnancy/miscarriage so tw for that!

I’ve briefly mentioned before that Izzy got pregnant by Nate twice,, once during their first relationship and again years later after they hookup after the breakup with Chrissy. I might change this, but originally it was before they got back into an actual relationship again, it was just from a hookup? But also originally, they weren’t really going to be “an endgame couple”.. Now that I decided that they definitely stick together I may have this happen when they’re (just barely) in a relationship again. Still working things out, I guess!

She miscarried once and had an abortion once, but I switched which happened first. Originally she lost the first pregnancy before she even knew she was pregnant and aborted the second time, since their relationship was more like a rebound hookup at the time and she wouldn’t have wanted to have a baby that way. But at some point, since I started building up their Second Relationship more, I actually switched that. She aborts the first time, because they were younger and she just wasn’t ready for it. (I mean she’s Still Not Ready but like. they were much younger and immature for sure) and the after Chrissy one was a miscarriage. She still didn’t really know she was pregnant for A While, but she did find out before she lost the pregnancy. I do not knoow if Nate knew..

The reason I mentioned Mark’s girlfriend, Anna, in this post was because of the pregnancy, and that’s kinda why I started making this post I guess? I don’t think she knew toooo much about her suicide attempt, she knew it happened just because she’s so close to Mark and Mark is obviously very invested in the lives of Izzy and his lil brother, but it was still pretty private between Izzy and Nate for the most part, you know? But with the pregnancy,, Izzy didn’t really feel comfortable going to NAte? She was kinda worried about how he’d react (but she shouldn’t have been,,, that makes me sad ahhh) just because she wasn’t doing too good she got worried about it.. And she doesn’t have a ton of people to turn to for advice about this kind of stuff, but I think she’s decently close enough to Mark’s girlfriend to ask for help. Again Anna wouldn’t have said specifics about it at all to anyone,, it’s Izzy’s personal business, but she’s close to Minnie and she’d just spent a lot of time in the hospital with a vry freaked out Izzy and I’m sure she’d mention that they were there, at least.

But anyway.. That seemed like a tangent... Izzy was depressed and felt pretty numb, she wasn’t eating much and stayed in bed a lot. Band practice was on hold for a bit and she took some time off her job w/ all the sick days she could manage. (When she did go in,, she wasn’t always There and zoned out a lot, but she had to do something) It wasn’t all BAD and she was definitely, slowly getting better. But a lot of days seemed to blur together, even when she spent them with Nate, even when things seemed alright. She liked the idea of sleeping with Nate more than actually doing it at the time, but she liked it as a distraction, and if that made her seem happy he’d, try to make her happy. She was on the pill but lost track of that very easily and whoops a daisy baby... But she didn’t realize she was pregnant, either? A lot of symptoms she passed off for other reasons,, she got sick bc she was drinking on an empty stomach, she felt tired and sore bc she just Always Was now. No period???? Her cycle was always messed up it didn’t matterrr.

When she finally suspected it, I think Drew and Mark were spending time with her and Nathan,, at his suggestion to maybe help get her mind off things. Izzy mentioned how she’d felt sick lately or something so of course, like he practically always does when Izzy says she was sick no matter the reason bc he’s a jackass,,,, Drew jokingly asks if she was pregnant, which she immediately laughed off and rejected like always because no way shut up.. But then she thought about it for a while. And.. maybe?!??? But that wasn’t something she wanted to talk about with her bandboys so she just kinda tries to stop thinkin about it. Of course she doesn’t stop though, the thought was planted in her head and I think the next day she sees if Mark can come over agaaain and bring his gf. And at some point when the bros are talking Izzy gets Anna alone and asks if she can get her a pregnancy test and keep it hush hush on the dl. She does and Izzy finds out she’s pregnant For Sure and gets very numb again. So Anna’s basically the first to know?? They weren’t incredibly close but they get along and it was good to have her there for support, even if she didn’t really know what to do to comfort her. Izzy just went to bed and cried so Anna and Mark had a kinda weird quiet dinner w Nathan and left... And when Nate came in to check on Iz she was already sleeping so he just snuggled up to her for the night.

It wasn’t long between when she found out she was pregnant to when she miscarried, just a couple days. She was pretty much a nervous wreck the whole time, tryin to figure out what she would do about it. She probably didn’t even tell Nathan, so she was thinking about how to do That, too, which made her even more nervous. Nate wasn’t there at the time and she was feeling awful with rly bad cramps and she was basically just curled up on the bathroom floor for a long time. It affected her very badly. She called Anna again since She Knew already and Nate was busy with whatever. It was,, unexpected to get a call to come over alone since, again, they weren’t That Close, but of course she did. And when Anna sees how bad Izzy was she called for paramedics,, which Iz hated she hates/is scared of hospitals and really did not want to go but clearly something was vry wrong so she didn’t really have a choice. So, again,,, Anna is the first to know she lost the pregnancy. [[It’s kinda weird to talk about Anna so much, I know she’s a minor character I’ve rarely mentioned and you probably don’t know her besides being a gf to the drummer,,, but, when this happens it’s pretty much her biggest role and connection to Izzy?? And since I hadn’t Really talked about it before,, you wouldn’t really know that?? Sorry about that!]]

Anna calls both Mark and Nathan to let them know where they’re at, but doesn’t really say what happened, she leaves that up to Izzy. I think she’d tell them both,, though she definitely wouldn’t have told Mark immediately at the hospital, that would take a while. Now that it’s,, over, I guess, she actually probably has an easier time telling Nathan, it’s just, more upsetting. Nate would’ve been supportive no matter what she decided to do about the pregnancy, and he doesn’t blame her for not telling him right away while she tried to sort out her feelings about it, but, he was upset he couldn’t fully be there for her. Izzy wanted to tell him about it, she just had to work up the courage first and it was a little too late, unfortunately. Izzy would definitely feel bad about it at first, but they actually talk about it for a while afterwards, I don’t think they’d ever really, ignore their feelings about what happened from each other, so that can be therapeutic.

I don’t want this to end so horribly sad, but I don’t know how to cheer it up while staying on topic and not completely ruining the mood and all. But I will say, this is essentially, the lowest point before Izzy’s on the road to recovery and things look up from here. She gets her depression more managed on medication again, her relationship with Nathan is definitely more official, ((and also,,, the version of the story with the mix n match ship?? They start dating Izzy after this, too! Two new bfs...... maybe even four. Lucky Girl.)) She starts writing songs and singing and playing bass again, so the band comes back from their little break. And they get good and play shows and do little tours again! They both want kids with each other eventually, it would just be much farther in the future, and they’d probably adopt, but,,, maybe someday. It’s not all perfect and it’s not like she doesn’t still get sad about this,, and this story is pretty much open ended, but, she’s much better I know!! A lot of the time I draw Izzy now is after this happens, since I love thinkin about Izzy and Nate being back together, and I love drawing her happy. so. That’s how you know that it’ll work out. :,))

Thank you for reading my big long sad post!

[headstrongblake]

Five times tattooed (fywo)

ASHLEY’S ON READING BREAK - @trikrulinkon

1. So you have an appointment—and you’re going to be here how long? Octavia shot a glare towards Louis, “I don’t know, a while, if you want to go back to the restaurant and find that babe I’m sure she’s right were you left her drooling.” There went his biggest smirk onto his face as he appeared to weigh his options. Octavia rolled her eyes and started towards the shop entrance. “You better pick me up.” She tossed over her shoulder before she went inside the tattoo shop without her red headed friend. He could do whatever, she was going to get another tattoo today regardless. Besides she’d heard this shop was one of the best in DC. “Hi, I’m lookin’ for Lincoln Woods, I called about an appointment?” She told the person behind the counter before a tall man with a Mohawk came out from the back room. This her? A brow raised in his direction as who she assumed was Lincoln came around the front of the counter and leaned against it. Welcome to Second Dawn, so what’re we looking at doing today? 

“You know Atlas— the Greek Titan who holds up the world on his shoulders? I want him but I want my Atlas to be wearing a cut, like…” Octavia pulled out a photo from the inside of her riding jacket, “This one.” She said, putting down on the counter a worn out photo of herself with her big brother, his arm slung around her with a smoke in his other hand. They’re both laughing but for the life of her now she couldn’t even remember why. But they looked happy and that’s all that mattered to her. “Actually, I want my Atlas to be him, but with the world on his shoulders.” Octavia said, finger tapping on her brother’s image as she glanced up at the artist. She unzipped her jacket, swiftly shrugging out of it to reveal her purple tank top underneath. “I’d like it to fit here,” Her hand rubbed over the patch of skin above her elbow on the back of her arm. “You think it’s do able?” 

The artist looked between the photo and her placement of the tattoo before it appeared like he was trying to work out the drawing in his head. He picked up the pencil left on the counter and began sketching on the back of a page that the receptionist handed him. Except he stopped a moment and looked back at her. That’s a pretty tender placement. Octavia lifted her shoulders, “Not my first tattoo, if you think it’ll work, I’m game.” That answered appeared to be to his liking because before she knew it he was telling her to take a seat while he sketched something out for her to approve. 

2. Today she’s itching to get out of this apartment. Get out of Alexandria and try to remind herself of all the reasons she has to stay sober. Bellamy. Her job. Her life depends on it. Louis. Her job. Murphy. Fox. Murphy. Bellamy. Fox. Louis. Bellamy. Bellamy!!! Inside these walls she might go insane and so Octavia finds herself on her bike. At first the plan is just to ride until the cravings pass. Just long enough to get her feet on stable ground so to speak except by the time she even feels remotely close to calm she’s already in DC— already parking outside of Second Dawn. 

Though she might not ever understand it, there’s something about a tattoo shop that brings all her… well everything to a halt. For however long she sits in a chair it’s like all her stress and responsibilities melt away. Today is no different as she pulls the shop door open and heads inside. There’s two artists already with clients which is fine for her because truthfully, Octavia had no idea what she would even get a tattoo of today. It was definitely not one of her planned moments but she looked at different sketches on the walls and in their artist books nonetheless before she heard a familiar voice behind her. Back again? Octavia sucked in a breath pushing her thoughts of sobriety and ways to break it away to put her best forward as she turned around to see Lincoln. “Duh, it’s been almost a year since I got new ink, that might as well be a crime.” 

Except in her spur of the moment decision, Octavia forgot to consider cost in her decision to show up in the tattoo shop. She thought a moment. Something small would suffice, maybe even a quick tattoo could provide enough distraction. If nothing else, she deserved a reward of sorts. It had been three months. Erin and Ryder still called daily but she was staying away from all of it despite the past two years…at least she was trying her hardest to. “Things have been kinda tight though, so I was thinking something small behind my ear, here.” She touched behind her left ear. As she began to gather all of her hair in her hands to secure it in a bun out of the way, her eyes shifted around at different pieces of work. What could she reward herself with? What mattered? Octavia pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she moved closer to a collage of stars, moons, and a sun with a face. Her lip ticked upwards as she saw the sun. “Can we do this one?” She asked, directing Lincoln’s attention to the drawing. There was a nod of his head before he pulled the pin out of the piece on the wall. Shouldn’t be a problem, let me get this cleaned up a bit first, you can take a seat in the chair. “Thanks,” She offered, surprised that he was able to take her right away before she made her way past the front desk to head into his work space. Still her mind raced but here at least she didn’t feel suffocated. 

It wasn’t long before Lincoln was preparing the different inks and his needle as Octavia sat in one of the chairs. The last time he’d tattooed her, she couldn’t shut up despite the fact that he was practically a stranger. Though Octavia always felt jazzed while she was getting tattooed except today when he asked if she was ready, Octavia simply nodded and allowed her eye lids to fall shut trying to lose herself in the therapeutic buzzing.  

3. Octavia’s filled with hope and buzzing with a smile on her face. It’s a world of difference in her attitude than what she displayed when she sat in his chair three months ago to get the first tattoo behind her ear. Today, she’s here for a matching set. A moon behind her ear to compliment the sun that’s already healed. Again, she’s rewarding herself. Six months clean. No coke. No oxy. Nothing more than a shared joint with her brother or drinks at a member’s house with her girls. Today everything seems manageable and it’s days like these that make it hard for her to even fathom why Bellamy doesn’t quite trust her. Obviously she knows what she’s done to him or rather herself that’s made him quick to think the worst but it’s her days like these when she feels like she’s coasting in a synthetic high despite nothing in her system that make her believe she’s got this beat. Drug addiction? Handled. Drug addict? Fuck no, that’s not her.

You going to let me in on the secret with these? A smirk pulled at her lips, brow raising at his question as she tried her hardest to sit still as Lincoln worked behind her ear. Guess she never did tell him much of anything the last time she sat in his chair. Octavia was too focused on ensuring her attention was on the sound of the buzzing that came from the needle and the sharp pain in her skin to keep herself sane that day. “Can’t a girl just like what she likes?” It’s half true. She really did simply like the design that she had seen the first time but now when she ran her finger along the healed sun she thought of it as her hope. The sun would continue to come up everyday and shine brightly so long as she remembered to keep herself straight. The moon matched and would remind her that she’d made it half way through an entire year. All she had to do was continue to put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it came. She’d made it this far—she could make it the rest of her life.

Alright then, keep your secrets, go ahead and check it out. Octavia tossed a smirk his way before she got up and headed towards the mirror near his work desk. Her finger reached up to touch her ear that had a new tattoo behind it and all she could do was smile at the ink in the mirror. It was exactly what she wanted. Exactly what she needed. She turned on her heels and slipped her cash out of her back pocket to hand to Lincoln. “Once again, you’ve nailed it—next ones going to be a giant masterpiece though.” Octavia was determined. The next tattoo would be a large grand piece. 

4. All of Octavia’s tattoo’s have a reason. Some hidden meaning behind the art that she displays so proudly but the one on her wrist that matches Bellamy’s and the one Lincoln was beginning to outline on her back now meant the most to her. In the beginning the younger Blake wasn’t sure how she wanted this tattoo to look or even what she wanted to express with it but after hours of pouring over different designs that Lincoln concocted with her guidelines, it looked perfect. It was a giant piece that would take up a majority of her upper back and dip down into the middle over her spine which meant she was going to have to do more than one sitting but it was everything. The flower placements were perfect with a mandala design behind them. The color choice was exactly what she wanted. 

Didn’t take you for a flower girl. While Octavia sat with her arms resting on the back of the chair, she chuckled at his suggestion. “Come on, every girl likes flowers.” She teased knowing that most girls that walked into a tattoo shop were getting a variety of the same handful of tattoos—infinity signs, anchors, a quote, or flowers. “Back when my dad was in the Grounders MC he traveled a lot but uh, he always came back with two white lilies and one black one.” Had Lincoln not been carefully outlining her tattoo, she’d have probably shrugged but instead she focused on keeping still. “Guess it felt like a good way to keep him with me.”

5.  There were some days that Octavia wasn’t convinced she’d make it to twenty, let alone twenty five but somehow she’s done it and that was a reason to celebrate. After all, twenty four had been a year of incredible ups ( a new promotion, a new club, a new guy ) and devastating lows ( Erin’s death, Bellamy’s imprisonment, her relapse and overdose ) but she was doing a lot better. If she kept going the way she was, she’d even have the one thing that she’s always wanted in eight months— a patch and a place to belong. Things were finally heading in the right direction and her birthday was proving to be the only challenge recently. 

Her birthday would be lonely this year. Sure, she’d be surrounded by friends and the people who care about her but it’s one of the first in a long while that her big brother would missed. Octavia tried to make it up to him near her birthday but when she’d arrived for his visitation, the guards told her Bellamy’s visitations were revoked for the time being. They wouldn’t tell her more or explain any details but she’s not an idiot. She knew how the system worked and something had to have happened. Knowing her brother— it was probably a fight between him and another inmate. So instead she decided on spending her birthday in Lincoln’s chair adding more ink to her skin. 

Octavia came up behind Lincoln while he worked at his desk with a smile on her face as she gently touched her fingers to his shoulders so that she didn’t startle him entirely and mess up whatever he was working on. She slid her hands down the front of him, leaning on him to press a kiss to his cheek as she peered at his worked over his shoulder. “Hey, you still up for that session tonight?” Yeah, just finishing it up now. Emerald hues widened when she realized the work she was glancing at was the tattoo she’d given him free range to design so long as it fit nicely on her shoulder, upper arm, and slightly up her neck. “Shit…wow Lincoln, this looks so good, you sure we can get it all in one sit?” Depends on you, whatever you can handle. Octavia stood up straight before moving herself over towards the tattoo chair as she shrugged out of her prospect cut, “That sounds a lot like a challenge.” Though admittedly, she was perfectly okay with spending her birthday getting a new tattoo. This one could signify her growth. A step in a direction that hopefully would be her new rest of her life. “Let’s do this.”