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fullmetalscullyy · 3 years ago

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omg Emma my love I am literally writing this with my eyes half-closed but I was thinking of sending you a prompt AND!!!!!!! This is ur free pass to write a fluffy (angsty is fine w me too tbh, you know the drill LMAO) one-shot post My Inferno 🤩🤩🤩 like maybe after they get married or smt… idk… kehdjsjdjsjdjs would simply combust tbh ILY 🥺🥺❤️❤️ ty for being a blessing to the royai community, u a real one my dude 🥰🥰💕💕

eri omg ur too kind and tytyty for giving me a push to return to this fic 💖💕💓 i've been rereading it all week and it's been the best time!! this ask has brought me so much joy, inspiration, and motivation to write for royai again which i cannot thank u enough for

i hope u enjoy this wee oneshot for this au :) i went for some soft royai (bc obvs ofc i did 😌) bc its what these two deserve. supportive, happy, and unburdened royai is a fantastic royai

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stay and burn forever - a oneshot sequel to My Inferno

summary: roy and riza finally get their honeymoon after a year of touring

rated: t | words: 2673

read on ao3 | read on ffnet

read My Inferno on ao3 | ffnet

The mountain air was crisp and fresh as it caressed the skin of Riza's face. It was invigorating and so different from the air in Central City, where she lived. The coolness of it in the morning light caused a shiver to ripple down her spine, so she tugged her cardigan tighter around herself to be further protected as she enjoyed the view.

The sun had risen a few hours ago and it was currently lazily making its way across the clear, bright, blue sky. There was not a cloud to be seen, contributing to the chill of the morning, however Riza didn’t mind. It was so different from the vistas she’d been used to for the past year. The trees, plants, and fresh air were a welcome change from sprawling cities and artificial lights seen through glass from high-rise hotels.

Hayate hurried out onto the deck after her before she could close the sliding door on him. After sniffing around the tables and chairs laid out to the right he darted to the left and down the steep set of stairs to the small grass covered area to frolic and explore. Riza chuckled as she watched him go. He was getting older, but you wouldn’t think it by looking at him. Right now he had the energy of a puppy as he hopped down the stairs and ran around the grass, jumping into the small patches of snow which had yet to melt in the shaded parts of the garden.

The deck she was stood on was raised about ten feet of the ground, as was the cabin, which was her temporary home. It wrapped around the back of the cabin, a wooden railing following its path, giving them views in almost every direction. They were atop the treeline in the valley beyond, as the ground continued to dip past the boundaries of the garden. Looking outward, the valley stretched out long before Riza. She could see right down it to the mountains which marked its end. They jutted out of the lush greenery thriving on the valley floor, making a magnificent panorama for Riza to appreciate as she sipped her morning coffee. It was a morning routine she could definitely get used to.

Birdsong filled the air as the breeze lazily made its way through the trees, rustling their branches and leaves, sounding almost like a distant waterfall. The river she’d walked to yesterday after arriving appeared to be close, however far enough from the cabin that it was simply a quiet rumble, drowned out now by the wind. A buzzing bee flew past her head and down to the plants below. Colour burst from the planters thanks to the new, fresh buds, ready to flourish now it was spring. For a few minutes she watched the bee go about its task of collecting nectar.

Her small haven for the next two weeks was picturesque. It was secluded and left Riza with such an immense feeling of peace. There was no work to do, no deadlines to meet. No one was badgering her with offers and there were no obligations to do interviews or any other kind of media events. She was happy to do these things and it came with her job, but it had been a long year touring and promoting her album, and the idea that she could simply lie in bed all day if she really, truly wanted to sounded like heaven. It was refreshing. A break from the stress and demands of performing. There was no one to demand her attention –

Hayate barked as he tried to play with the birds swarming the bird feeders hanging on the tree at the bottom of the garden. Well, perhaps there was one person to demand her attention. The poor guy, he’d caused them to scatter in fright in his attempt to make friends. His tail slowly stopped wagging and he whined as he looked up into the tree, now bare and vacated by the small birds.

“You scared them away, Hayate,” Riza called to him. He looked distressed as he looked over at her and let out another whine, making her smile at his antics. He must not have been too put out though because his nose returned to the ground and he scampered off to follow another scent.

She sighed happily to herself as the sliding door opened behind her. The noise was quiet and her guest didn’t speak a word but even still, Riza found it difficult not to smile at the announcement of company. Arms wrapped around Riza’s midsection from behind. They held her tight and gave her body a quick squeeze in greeting.

“Good morning, Mrs. Mustang,” came a sleepy voice.

Riza relaxed back into Roy’s hold and smiled to herself. “Who’s she? That’s not my name, Roy.”

He hummed as he pressed his nose into her hair. It brushed against the skin behind her ear before he moved to press his cheek against hers. “She’s my wife. The light of my life. She’s the wonderful woman who owns my heart and soul and has a phenomenal singing voice. She just finished her first tour a few days ago and smashed it out of the park. Does that sound like anyone familiar to you?”

“Maybe.” Riza grinned as she spun in Roy’s hold. He easily relented and let her move but kept her caged within his arms.

He still looked tired, like she probably did too, however the smile on his face was filled with tenderness and love. His eyes were alert as he took her in, roving over her face as he cupped her cheeks gently within his palms.

“Good,” Roy replied, “because it’s you.” His head dipped and he kissed her, stealing away her breath like he did every time. “Good morning, Riza. My wife.”

“Morning, Roy,” she nearly sighed, breathless from such a welcome greeting. Then, she giggled. “My husband.”

It still felt like a dream, being able to call him that. The past year had been a whirlwind of activity that it was difficult to process sometimes, but he was always there. He was her rock, just like always. Steadfast, never failing, and not going anywhere soon, just like she was for him.

The dark circles which had been prominent beneath Roy’s eyes for the past few months were slowly starting to recede, but they were still there. The long hours working, helping her with whatever she needed and guiding her through her first tour, plus travelling had taken its toll on them both, so this was their chance to recover. A quiet, cosy mountain retreat together was exactly what they both needed, so they were going to make the most of it.

Riza ran her hands down Roy’s chest, lowering her gaze so her eyes could follow the same path, coming to a stop so she could fiddle with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

She didn’t miss how he shuddered beneath her ministrations either.

“What if I want you to be Mr. Hawkeye?”

“Riza, I will be anyone you want me to be.” He pecked her cheek, shooting her his trademark boyish grin.

Of course, he would. He’d give her the moon and the stars if she asked him to and the knowledge of that made her stomach flutter.

“I thought you would have slept longer,” Riza commented as he came to stand and rest against the railing by her side. He’d slipped a hoodie on over the t-shirt he’d slept in to protect against the chill, and it was too cold to go barefoot. Riza had quickly pulled trainers on in case she needed to clean up after Hayate or she wanted to play with him, but Roy had borrowed her slippers. The pale-yellow footwear must be enough to keep his toes warm because he wasn’t wearing any socks.

“I couldn’t sleep without you by my side.”

“I was gone for about five minutes.”

Roy shrugged unapologetically. “I noticed. And I stand by my original statement.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

A reassuring kiss was pressed against her temple as Roy wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry about that. Ever. As I said before, I’m more than happy to rise early at the same time as you. It gives me more time in the day to spend with you after all,” he quipped. He’d said the same thing to her before, what felt like a lifetime ago.

Riza shook her head fondly and leaned her head against his shoulder as they both watched Hayate run around below them. “I like that too. But you do need to rest.”

“We both do,” he countered.

“Yes, but –”

“Riza,” he interrupted gently, shooting her a soft smile. “Every minute spent with you is worth it. Every minute of sleep we both lost over the past year was worth it, and it continues to be the same now.” He squeezed her shoulders in a side hug. “You don’t need to worry about me. This is our two weeks to rest, and I’ll do everything in my power to ensure it’s what we both deserve. Now that we even have a minute to do such a thing as relax,” he joked, causing Riza to laugh tiredly beside him.

Roy turned her so they were both facing one another.

“I’m extremely proud of you but right now, it’s just me and you. Just Roy and Riza.” He lifted a hand to brush her fringe away from her eyes with a tender touch, stroking her cheek with his thumb before his hand dropped to his side once more. “Right here, we’re a simple husband and wife who love each other very much. No albums, no tours, and no record labels. Just me and you.”

Riza felt her breath hitched as wetness clouded her eyes. Roy’s were the same as he gazed adoringly at her.

“I’m happy to rise with you at whatever time so we can face and enjoy the day together.”

She was so lucky. So grateful for him and his relentless drive to support and assist her in pursuing and achieving her dreams. To give it his all and cheer her on. To love her and try to give her everything he thought she deserved and more, just like she always wished to do for him.

Riza couldn’t wait to return the favour when it was his turn to tour.

They both met in the middle for a passionate, loving kiss.

“I love you, Roy. Thank you.”

“Love you too, Riza,” he grinned.

The sounds of the morning settled around them as they enjoyed the simple peace and quiet.

Now her tour was finished it was a relief. It had been a massive success. It had surpassed all of her expectations and blown them all out of the water. Riza had been baffled by the reception she’d received from fans, but Roy had simply smirked knowingly. It was maddening, but in a good way. He was her biggest fan and supporter. His never-ending faith and belief in her gave Riza strength and motivated her. He’d attended every show with her and had helped settle her nerves before she stepped out onto the stage in front of thousands of people. As soon as her set finished he was right there waiting in the wings, ready to welcome her into his arms with a kiss which weakened Riza at the knees.

She was so lucky to have him. She loved him with everything she had, and even saying that never felt enough. There were not enough words in the world to properly profess how deep her love and appreciation for Roy Mustang went. She’d told him as much, revealing he felt the same.

So, she often did it in song.

Riza had lost count of the number of lyrics she’d written or ideas she’d had which were drawn from her experiences with Roy and which were dedicated to how much she loved and adored her husband. The world may never know, but Riza made sure Roy did.

“This place is wonderful, Roy.” Riza sighed in contentment as she shifted against her husband to move closer to him.

He hummed in agreement. “I’m glad you think so. I’m glad I picked well.”

“You picked very well. It was a lovely surprise.”

He beamed at her. “I did say that one day I would whisk you off to a log cabin somewhere in the mountains where no one would bother us, didn’t I?”

Riza chuckled. “You did, yes.”

She couldn’t believe how long ago that was. She would call it a distant memory, but it was also the day Roy proposed, so she’d never forget it. That day stood out in her mind with startling clarity.

“So, this is a great start to our honeymoon?”

Riza craned her neck to look up at him suspiciously. “To start our honeymoon? Just what else have you got planned, Mr. Hawkeye?”

A mischievous grin lit up his face as his eyes sparkled with glee. “Well, it was a long time coming. I’ve had a long time to think. The tour put it on hold for us, which wasn’t a problem,” he quickly reassured her. “I’ve had the best time touring with you and I forgot how fun it could be when you do it with the ones you love,” he grinned. “You’ve worked so hard for so long and I’m so, soproud of all you’ve achieved. You deserve all the rest and relaxation in the world after that alone, not to mention a way to celebrate the end to your first tour.”

Riza blinked up at him. “This sounds like we’ll be busy for a while.”

Roy winked at her. “Of course. Only the best for us. So,” he started, straightening his spine and holding out a closed fist so he could count off on his fingers. “This is our honeymoon.” He lifted one finger. “Then we’ve got to celebrate the end of your tour separately from this.” He lifted a second finger. “And I still need to hold up on my promise of us going to a cabin in the mountains for a week so I can sequester you away from the world and we can be alone and undisturbed.”

Her head tipped back as she laughed. “Are you going to kidnap me away from the world?”

“I might have to in order to spend time with my wife.” His smile turned wolfish. “You’re so brilliant and successful, so in demand, that I may need to make such a bold statement in order to gain your attention and affection.”

“You could of course just ask me.”

“Ah, I could,” he agreed emphatically, eyes twinkling with amusement. “But where is the fun in that?”

A thrill ignited itself within Riza’s stomach, causing a wide smile to spread across her face. Her excitement and joy must have been infectious because Roy returned it eagerly.

“Let’s make all the future plans together, Riza,” he breathed, dropping all his jokes. Amusement was replaced with excitement and enthusiasm at the prospect of their future together.

“I would be more than happy to do that with you, Roy.” She stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his neck so she could toy with strands of his hair. “And I would drop everything for you in a second if you asked, you know that, right? You don’t need grand gestures to gain my attention.”

She laughed at his playful pout. Riza kissed it away, causing Roy to react instantly and hold her even tighter.

“I adore how you keep me on my toes, but I will always have time for you, no matter how busy we get.”

“I love you so much, Riza,” he murmured before captivating her in a bruising kiss.

“I love you too, Roy. Let’s do it. Let’s make all the memories and go on all the adventures. I can’t wait to do it all with you.”

feel free to leave a comment and kudos on ao3 or a review on ffnet :)

likes and reblogs are always much appreciated <3

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai oneshot #royai au #emma writes #fic request #my inferno #ask #firewood-figs

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bonvoyagenoona · 3 years ago

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yuugehn said 10

if you’re comfortable with sharing, i’d like to know more about your journey~ were you a writer throughout high school? & then come college, decided it was time to put your head down & focus on the super-serious adult-y stuff like school & work?

actually…how did writing become your first love? you mentioned being closed off from your own emotions…did your love for writing start with a journal? what inspired you to start writing fanfiction? & what gave you the courage to start sharing it? i have so many questions lol. but again, only if you’re comfortable sharing.

Hi, friend! I’ve been thinking a lot about writing lately and am always excited to share!

You absolutely hit the nail on the head. I read and wrote a LOT growing up. Yes, journaled a ton. Watched a ton of TV and movies as well. I started writing fanfiction pretty early because I always wanted to extend stories past the page. Writing also became a communal thing; I swapped Backstreet Boys and Harry Potter fanfiction with friends! From there, I organically looked up how to write newsletters and scripts and zines and all sorts of different kinds of works.

I don’t think posting is scary, maybe because I’ve always wanted to share stuff on a large scale. I wanted to go to film school for college, but my parents wouldn’t allow it. I ended up in psychology, which I’m super thankful and wouldn’t trade for anything. I found other ways to scratch the writing itch, like always choosing to do videos for presentations, and writing scripts for my friends to act out. But to build my career, I had to focus on grad school and work. I ended up compartmentalizing in order to have that focus. Now, I’m luckily in a spot where I can devote a little more time to hobbies, and getting into BTS was such an immersive process that I felt inspired all over again!

i think your bts story is just so wonderful – i’m truly grateful to them not only for saving me from my grief last year (in fact, i sent them a thank you card…where it actually ended up, i’ll never know), but also for waking you up(!) & motivating you to get back in touch with you. otherwise, we wouldn’t get to experience your talent as a writer, & that would’ve been lamentable.

You are way, way, wayyyy too kind! I’m so glad that BTS was able to bring us both energy and comfort in ways that we needed it. And that they continue to do so, through entertaining and inspiring us. I’d like to believe that they received your thank you card and treasure it deeply, maybe even reflecting on your message and similar ones from ARMY when times get tough for them, too. In fact, I’ve decided that’s what happened, and no one can say otherwise. 💜

“so much to ponder.” well if this isn’t me in a nutshell haha. i came across a video today of emma watson sharing her thoughts in an interview about why we make turning 30 such a big deal – she said that there is a lot of pressure to achieve major “milestones” by 30 (have a stable career, get married, buy a home, have a kid, you get it).

I SAW THAT EMMA WATSON VIDEO RECENTLY AS WELL! It was on ig, yes? And I so relate! It’s been so hard to talk to friends about this, mostly because they’ve stayed on that track to certain milestones. I was telling Roomie / @mochilatae today that I just don’t see those milestones in front of me, and even though I don’t want those milestones, it has still been a bit of an un-learning / mourning process to let those expectations go.

& i think we do go through that phase where it’s like oh shit, oh shit, i gotta get my shit together. maybe we focus so hard on future security that we forget about what makes us happy in the present? until something wakes us, whether it’s loss or bts or alone time in a pandemic, a combination of these things or something else entirely…like hello, you don’t live in the future, you live in the now & now is really all you have…

You’re so right about this! Living in the present and coming out of the other side of the un-learning has brought so much joy. Those tricky expectations. Helpful when setting goals, but life isn’t always about setting goals. It’s about living.

so much to ponder over this one life we’re given. when i die, my ultimate, fervent wish is to know the truth of everything. like the ravenclaw i am.

OK, yep, we’re buds. Also a Ravenclaw. And now, I picture us having these conversations in the common room! I feel you on this. If your fervent wish is to know the truth, my fervent wish is to get to experience a little bit of everything, and to share my thoughts about them. Cool to connect with someone over that kind of hunger!

i’m not sure what time zone you’re in but i’m on pt & it’s 10:49pm here & i hope you had a lovely day full of lovely ponderings~ p.s. i have a 2.5” thicc book called “the secret language of birthdays” & it has a profile for every. single. birth. day…it’s just great. xd

I have had a busy week, but today has been a wonderful day of pondering, with a perfect nightcap of reading your lovely messages. I’m in US central time, and it’s 12:41 AM, and I’m very glad to imagine you on the west coast nearly hitting the same time as when you sent this message, hopefully unwinding for a perfect Saturday night. Sending you smiles and wishes for wonderful dreams!

#yuugehn said #asks #your asks #yuugehn #ah friend this was such a good one #i feel like we relate on a lot of things and it just felt good to get to chat with someone about it!

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kelieah · 4 years ago

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mutuals and followers appreciation post

lord, this is probably going to be a long post. if i can hopefully remember everyone! if i forget to mention you, please please please don't take it personally! i'm forever thankful for the number of friends and mutuals i've made on here, but there are a lot of you.

and for my followers!? i larb you all so so much. thank you to those who support me, you all keep me going and i'm forever thankful to you all x

@waitimcomingtoo oh sweets, where do i begin! i've been reading your fics before i decided to start posting on here and when i reached out to you, and you replied? it felt surreal haha. and then we began to talk here and there, and we became friends! i appreciate your advice so much and am so grateful we chat and catch up every now and then. and your work always inspires me, so thank you for that as well :)

@evermoreholland abbbbyyy!! you're the absolute sweetest. i remember our awkward facetimes here and there, and i find it the cutest and sweetest thing ever. i appreciate all the times you've been there for me. and your work is just so soft, i love reading them when i'm in need of some good fluff. i'm really happy to be able to call you my friend.

@spideyspeaches babe you've always had the best energy. always supporting me and brainstorming with me here and there agh! i larb you so much, and your work ??? i love your unique style. i love your personality so so much and i hope you never stop being you.

@ptersmj vaallll!!! you're another precious mutual of mine, your work is also just absolutely out of this world. you're another writer that inspires the hell out of me, constantly pouring out content, i don't know how you do it. and i love talking to you every chance i get, you're like sunshine :))

@hollandcrush mabel oh mabel i'm so glad we became friends. talking to you is such a joy and reassurance. and your work is always phenomenal, i'm really happy that i have you to confide in, and i hope you know i'm here for you as well! many kisses and hugs x

@devotion laurrenn oh my gosh where do i begin. we went through a tough similar situation ?? if that makes sense, but i was so relived and grateful to have you to talk after all of that. and i appreciate you so much, to this day, where we can comfortably talk to each other when we can w no pressure! i miss your work though, i've always loved your writing. to me you wrote so beautifully and aesthetically.

@greenorangevioletgrass ava pls, you talented ass son of a bitch. i swear i'm going to see you in the media one day. your fics, your voice, the advice you give me? you're the absolute best and i'm blessed to be your mutual and hopefully friend <3

@emmastarz awe emma you're just the sweetest. i love your aesthetic so much and your fics are so amazing ?? i know i have some in my bookmarks so i'll be binging those when i get the chance. you're so supportive and i love it so much, thank you. seriously. MWAH! x

@veryholland millaa!!! i appreciate the hell out of you. i'll never forget the times you check up on me, because trust me, it means the world to me. i hope to see more of your work bc what i've read so far is so sweet and amazing, but if not i also understand so dw dw. ily lots

@peterbenjiparker aw mel. i feel like a mom when it comes to you lmafonsdijkndf. you've grown so much and i remember when you first came to me for advice and such! your writing is absolutely phenomenal and i swear i will never stop saying how proud i am of you. i hope you continue to put yourself first though (in certain situations ofc) and take care of yourself, bc you deserve that and more

@marvelouspeterparker alyssaa!!! your work is always just fantastic, and your support is so motivating. i appreciate your reblogs and little tags so so much. i can't wait to check out your anime blog too btw hahah, i'm glad we've talked a little! :)

@felicityparkers addie addie addie, you absolute sweetheart! i hope we get to talk more bc i feel like we don't talk much but it's okay, i'm cool w whatever! regardless i get to read your wonderful work. you're also another writer that inspires the hell out of me. when you used to post every day, just wow. and they were all always amazing little stories.

@vatefaire oh jeez adeline, i remember you from the verrryyy beginning. i will never understand the hate you get. you're the absolute sweetest and easiest to get along with. i remember our shared laughs of jokes or memes, or drama in the fandom. agh! and your writing was always fun to read. i hope with everything going on you do what YOU want to do. i hope you stay only if you want to, but if you do, please make this your safe place, block the haters and fuck tomsbaddies, god that blog is just bad news

@msmarvelsmain mimimimi!!! i larb larb larb you. your support is the best and i can't thank you enough for it. i still owe you this one writing challenge prompt, but i swear i'll get to it once i have the inspiration to. also i really need to binge your work, it's my bookmarks so stay tuned for a spam ;)

@asonofpeter alex babe oh my gosh, before we became mutuals i've always absolutely loved your work. i still do ofc. but still haha. i'm glad we got to talk and get to know each other a little, but we should definitely catch up. it's been a while!

@willovity GIRL! we need to fucking catch up. i miss and love you so much. i remember when you first reached out to me, how many moons ago? crazy. i miss your work, but hey you do you honey. i can't wait to catch up tho we better

@opheliacult i've always found you so cool, and when we became friends / mutuals. you just became even cooler. we really need to catch up, but that's on me so i'm sorrydibhfl hang in there ily lots 🥺

@peterssweetpea i'm glad we became moots babe! you're so sweet and i absolutely love your aesthetic. i also need to binge your work cus hun the range, i love ittt

@supremethunda i'm so so so happy i've became mutuals with you, your work is absolutely amazing and so inspiring. i love talking to you as well, you're so kind and helpful. thank you sm 🤍

@spideyyeet mina! it has been a minute since we've talked but i had to include you on here. i've also read your work before i first started out on here. but after we've become mutuals and talked here and there, you're one of the most chill and kindest mutuals i've had. i'm glad i got that opportunity to, i hope we catch up one day!

@parkerpeter24 coookkkiee you sweetheart, i love talking to you so much. the memes, just everything! x

@spideysquackson13 fatema!! i appreciate your messages so much, you're so kind and motivating, it really means a lot so thank you!!

@calltothewild shreya!! we go way back, but it's been a minute and we definitely need to catch up. i miss you babe! i love and miss your work, i just haven't seen you on my dash in a while for some reason ;(

@yourstrulyamour aw you! i remember you from the beginning and you've never stopped being so supportive. i hope we catch up sometime, you're the absolute best!

@s-and-n you two! you're both so sweet and kind, i'm glad we get to talk. i do talk to n a bit more, and i love talking to her just as much, but s if you ever wanna talk let me know! i also can't wait to read more of your wonderful work :)

#kelly's one year anniversary

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kmomof4 · 4 years ago

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CS AU- Coming to Storybrooke (1/5)

It’s FINALLY here!!!!!! I’ve only been talking about this fic for over a YEAR!!! I’m so excited to finally share it with all of you!!!

I have to acknowledge and send all the love and internet hugs to all those who helped me with this fic. I can truly say that I would have given up on it LONG AGO without them.

First to @hollyethecurious. She was my brainstorming partner and never-ending fount of encouragement. She pulled me back from the brink of deleting this fic entirely so many times. So when I say that this fic wouldn’t be here without her, I’m not exaggerating.

Second to @profdanglaisstuff. The best beta in the world!!!! Her suggestions and insights make this writing business so much better! Thank you, babe!

And finally to all the ladies on the @captainswanmoviemarathon discord. Y’all’s encouragement and sprinting dates helped keep me motivated and got me over the finish line.

This fic is a S1 Canon Divergence, sort of, inspired by the 1988 Eddie Murphy movie Coming to America. It is complete with five chapters and I’ll be updating every Saturday.

Fic Summary: Prince Killian of the Enchanted Forest refuses to marry the woman that his brother has chosen for him, so he travels to Storybrooke in the Land Without Magic to find his own bride.

Rating: T for some strong language

Words: Ch1 2224 of 18K Total

Tags: S1 Canon Divergence, Inspired by Coming to America, Neal is an idiot, romantic fluff

AO3 Link

Tag LIst: @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @snowbellewells @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @jennjenn615 @kingofmyheart14 @profdanglaisstuff @branlovestowrite @thisonesatellite @ultraluckycatnd @flslp87 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @let-it-raines @shireness-says @kymbersmith-90 @darkcolinodonorgasm @bethacaciakay @searchingwardrobes @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @aprilqueen84 @qualitycoffeethings @superchocovian @artistic-writer @donteattheappleshook @doodlelolly0910 @seriouslyhooked @tiganasummertree @lfh1226-linda @nikkiemms @xsajx @klynn-stormz @jrob64 @wefoundloveunderthelight @zaharadessert @elizabeethan @xhookswenchx @gingerpolyglot @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @sailtoafarawayland @justanother-unluckysoul @veryverynotgoodwrites @jonesfandomfanatic @deckerstarblanche

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

Under the cut unless Tumblr ate it

Ch1

“Oh, she’s beautiful,” David whispered, awestruck.

Tears filled his eyes as he looked through the door at his other True Love. The little girl sat cross legged on the bed and slowly turned a page of the book in front of her.

David stared, dumbfounded, as a firm resolve filled him.

“We can’t waste another second,” he stated, vehemently. “We can’t wait another second.” He took a step toward the door when Snow’s softly spoken wait stopped him. “What? What’s wrong?” he asked, looking at his wife.

Her eyes were glued to their daughter until they skittered away to their surroundings and the door in front of them. Anywhere but at him.

“We can’t go through there.”

David was stunned, incredulity coloring his features. “Snow, we have to.”

She continued as if she hadn’t heard him. “If we go through that door, Emma will never become the savior.”

He turned back to the open door. To his daughter. He was heartbroken. He knew exactly what Snow was thinking. If they went through that door, they condemned their subjects, their friends, their family, to live under Regina’s curse, separated from their own loved ones, forever. But that couldn’t be true. Rumplestiltskin said to keep the child safe and she would return on her 28th birthday. No mention was made about the circumstances of her return, only that she would.

“She’ll have a new destiny.” He looked at Snow again. “With us. We will teach her. We will tell her everything. And when her 28th birthday arrives, we’ll all come back and she will break the curse.”

Snow’s tear filled eyes finally turned to him. “How do you know?”

“This family finds each other. We’ve found each other,” he said, taking her hands. He tilted his head slightly toward the open door, “We’ve found Emma. We will find the rest of our family when it’s time for her to break the curse.”

He saw the moment doubt was swallowed up by hope in her eyes. With a small nod and a smile, they turned and walked through the door.

Together.

~*~*~*~

18 years later

Emma Swan sat in the back seat of the family SUV with her brother Leo as they sped through the backwoods of rural Maine toward an uncertain and possibly perilous future. It was her 28th birthday and it was the day that her parents had been preparing her for ever since they came through the closet door to claim her so long ago.

The scenery outside her window went hazy around the edges as she got lost in the memory of the first time she met her parents. She hadn’t been frightened when these two strangers entered her bedroom through her closet door. Something about them seemed familiar. She knew in her marrow that she could trust them and when the woman fell to her knees with tears in her eyes, her arms open wide, and calling her name, Emma hadn’t hesitated to run into them. She rose to her feet with Emma held tightly in her arms, sobbing into her hair and placing kisses all over her face. Emma only caught snippets of what the woman was saying, but the words I’m your mom, I love you, we’ll never leave you, we’ll always be together sent Emma’s heart soaring. It was exactly what this little lost girl had always longed to hear. The man wrapped one arm around them both and cupped the back of her head with the other. She had never felt so safe and loved in all her life.

Now all these years later, it was time to fulfill her destiny. It wasn’t long after their reunion that they settled in Portland, Maine and her parents told her a story. A story through the pages of the book that her mother had brought through the door with her. A story that was more than just a fantasy. It was true. All of it. It was their story. It was her story. The story of where she came from… and what she was meant to do. Beginning with the day she was born, her parents told her why they had to get her to safety. How Doc of the Seven Dwarves delivered her only minutes before her father placed her in the magical wardrobe and the queen’s curse swept over the land. From there, they told her the true story of how Snow White and Prince Charming met and fell in love - very different from the Disney version - her mother’s history with the Evil Queen and how her father came to be in the position to even meet his True Love. She’d become intimately familiar with all the true stories in the book as she grew up, first her, then her brother Leo, and now it was time for her to save them all. She had to admit to being rather nervous about it. It was one thing to hear the story from her parents and believe it because of how young she was and because she trusted them. But it was entirely different to be a grown woman and solely responsible for bringing back all the happy endings for real people that her parents knew and loved. She was about to see everything from the storybook come to life.

Suddenly, her mother’s excited voice from the front seat roused her from her musings.

“There it is, David!” she exclaimed. “The town line!”

“I see it, I see it,” he replied.

Moments later, they crossed the town line and a chill passed over Emma’s entire body before something exploded out of her that nearly made her dad lose control of the car.

“What the hell was that?” Emma cried as her mom and brother shouted in alarm. She reached toward Leo’s shoulder while her other hand tried to find purchase on the door handle as her dad brought the car back under control. She looked out the window and saw a white shimmering something traveling across the sky toward the town. She saw her mom, dad, and brother craning their necks to see it too.

“I think…” her mom began, “that you just broke the curse, honey.”

“That’s it?” she asked, incredulous. “Just crossing the town line? That was all it took?”

“Apparently so,” her dad answered. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t still have to be on our guard.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened and his brow furrowed. “We don’t know what we’re going to find when we get to town. Regina and the Dark One are presumably still here somewhere.”

Silence reigned as they continued to drive toward the center of town in the direction of the white blast. A few minutes later, they turned onto the main street of the small town. Filling the street in front of them, people were laughing and hugging each other in reunions that were 28 years overdue. Her dad slammed on the brakes as her mom cried out, her hands flying to her mouth.

“Ruby! Granny!” She bolted from the car and ran toward a leggy brunette and older matronly woman. Emma could see the surprised joy on their faces as they turned and ran toward her mother. Emma and Leo got out slowly as their dad ran toward his wife as she embraced the two women. They approached the reunited and happy foursome just as seven men got their mom’s attention. Wide grins broke out on Emma and Leo’s faces as realization came over them. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Emma could hear her mom’s sobs as she tried to embrace them all at once. Once she’d finished greeting her dearest and oldest friends, her mom turned toward them.

“Everyone,” she began, “these are our children.” Her mom motioned them closer. “Emma and Leo.” Her brother suddenly looked quite different from the brash and bold teenager she knew. He looked equal parts dumbfounded and like he’d like to melt into the ground. Her father didn’t miss a beat. He grabbed his son’s shoulder and started introducing him individually to the dwarves, placing his arm around him.

“Emma?” asked Granny, drawing her attention again. “The Savior?” The old woman took steps toward Emma and tenderly cupped her face with her hands before kissing her on the cheek and drawing her into a hug. Emma knew the elderly woman from the storybook, but to be held in her arms in love and acceptance was nearly as good as the hug she received from her parents when they came for her.

“Papa,” another man further up the street shouted. He ran toward an older man that was walking toward the group with the aid of a cane.

The man turned, his face infused with disbelieving joy as the cane dropped and he took a hesitant step toward the other man. “Bae?”

Emma could feel the tears forming in her eyes as the men embraced each other. She had done this. She was the savior and she had given all these people the happy endings that the Evil Queen had taken away all because she refused to place the blame for the death of her love where it truly belonged. She turned back toward the crowd again as more reunions were taking place. She saw her parents embracing a red haired man with a dalmatian. Jiminy Cricket, she remembered.

Just at that moment, a joyous cry reached their ears and they all turned toward the sound. A young woman with wild brown hair and wearing nothing more than a dirty white shift ran toward the still embracing men as she launched herself into the older man’s arms and kissed him. A rainbow blast burst from them startling everyone gathered. They separated as the blast flew through the air and yet also concentrated around the man. The young woman’s eyes grew wide as the rainbow light grew brighter and brighter around him before finally fading away to nothing. The man had tears running down his cheeks as he reached for the young woman again. Emma watched her melt into his arms and could just hear him murmur, “Belle. It’s gone. You saved me.” The kiss they shared made Emma’s cheeks flame as she turned toward her dad.

“Huh,” he said. “Rumplestiltskin has a True Love. Who would have thought that?”

The couple separated again and the man she now knew was Rumplestiltskin, the practitioner of the darkest magic in the realm, the man that she had always thought of as the puppet master, since he seemed to have a part in every single story in the book, gathered both the young woman and the younger man to him as the three made their way toward their own group.

“Dark One,” her dad greeted the man with a curt nod.

“No more,” he answered, raising his chin just a bit. “Belle’s True Love’s Kiss just destroyed the Darkness. With my son here, I was ready to let go of the Darkness and find my happiness with my family beside me.”

Then a stately woman in a nun’s habit approached them.

“Your highnesses,” she began with a bow, “the curse is indeed broken. As is the Darkness that made the Dark One.”

Her dad reached out and placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Blue,” he said. “Thank you.” He turned back toward the crowd and raised his voice in an exuberant shout. “The curse is broken and the Darkness is no more!” The gathered crowd cheered along with him. Emma wiped away her tears and met the eyes of the man that had embraced the former Dark One. His eyes twinkled as he grinned broadly at her. She felt her heart rate increase and cheeks flush again as she turned her eyes back toward her parents.

It was moments later when she felt a presence at her back. She turned around and found herself captured by a pair of laughing brown eyes.

“Neal,” he said, holding his hand out for her to shake. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as if a sudden headache had come over him. “Baelfire. Neal Cassidy was my cursed name. But you can call me whatever you want.” He smiled again.

She took his hand and smiled back. “Emma,” she replied. “It’s nice to meet you, Neal.”

She could see her mom and brother over Neal’s shoulder exchange a stern and sheepish look. She knew that Leo, at 17, would love nothing more than to tease her about the man in front of her, but thankfully, their mother caught his eye before he could. She rolled her eyes at them before directing her attention back to him.

“Uh, thanks,” he said, “for uh, breaking the curse.” She couldn’t help but smile wider at his clumsy attempts to make small talk.

“You’re welcome?” she answered, with a shrug. “I mean, I didn’t really do anything, just crossed the town line…” she trailed away.

“But, I m-mean,” he stammered, “it was more than that. You…” he shrugged helplessly, apparently at a loss for what to say next. “Listen,” he said, brightening, “Could I show you around town? Maybe buy you a cup of coffee?”

Emma grinned widely. “I’d like that.” She looped her arm through his and he led her away from the rest of the crowd.

#coming to storybrooke #krystal writes #ch1 #inspired by coming to america #cs ff

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homeformyheart · 4 years ago

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hey~

hope you are having an amazing week!

how would you feel about doing a noah harris x mc request from the best vs worst prompts?

maybe 21. best day at school vs worst day at school OR 27. best game vs worst game?

hi anon! thank you for the request, #27 was fitting and allowed me to close-out the chapter of my noah x mc arc (a little bit got cut out from my outline, but at least now it's finished).

author’s note: when I got this prompt, I decided to take the outline I had written for a continuation of my other MTFL fics and retro-fit it here, which is why it’s a bit longer than typical prompt fills. this finally gave me the motivation to continue the relationship I started in “first choice” and “the perfect gift.” I also drew some real-life inspiration from patrick mahomes of the kansas city chiefs (national football league in the u.s.). enjoy!

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. series/pairing: my two first loves - noah harris x mc (emma price) rating/warnings: 13+; none based on/prompt: best vs. worst / 27. best game vs. worst game; also inspired by the song “never really over” by katy perry word count: 1.7k summary: two years after graduating college and agreeing to go their separate ways, the universe seems to want emma and noah back together.

best game vs. worst game

worst game

emma tapped her finger on her thigh nervously as she waited in her boss’s office for her first assignment. she had spent the last two years since graduating college curating a travel blog for a small magazine, which had allowed her to travel all over europe, north america, and south america – an experience she knew was probably once-in-a-lifetime.

but she was homesick and decided to return stateside once her contract was up. it didn’t take long to find a position with a professional agency that contracts photographers out for high-profile athletic and celebrity events. even as a junior photographer, she was going to have the chance to take her own photos.

her boss finally handed her a sheet of paper without so much as a glance, motioning toward the door. emma supposed she was excused then, quickly scanning the sheet as she walked out to her car. a pre-nfl charity meet-and-greet was the assignment, and if she wanted, she could stick around to take some back-up photos of the game.

seemed easy enough. except the team was the nightingales. where her ex-boyfriend was currently the quarterback.

a little over two years ago

noah gripped emma’s hand, leg thumping nervously in anticipation. his other hand held hazel’s, who wasn’t faring much better at keeping still. on the other hand, mrs. harris had sat frozen still in front of the t.v. for the last thirty minutes, and emma had to keep glancing over to make sure she was still breathing.

to say they were all on edge was an understatement. in a matter of minutes, they’d find out of noah was going to become a professional football player.

“and the twenty-third pick goes to… noah harris!”

the room filled with squeals as they all jumped up from the couch and gathered noah into a giant group hug. his arm never left emma’s waist, even as he lifted hazel off the ground in excitement.

“you’re coming with me, right?”

she avoided his gaze, choosing to hug him and duck her head underneath his chin instead.

“tonight is about you! we can talk about us tomorrow. we should be celebrating!”

emma took a deep breath and pulled her car out onto the main road, making sure her phone was navigating to the stadium. she hadn’t seen or spoken to noah since they broke up – even though he tried to understand her reasoning, which was that he needed to focus on football and she was going to be traveling constantly – and she wondered if he was still upset.

if they ran into each other, would he even acknowledge her?

her mind raced with different scenarios of how their “reunion” could go and before she knew it, she was pulling into the stadium parking lot reserved for press. you’re here to do a job, she reminded herself as she took a deep breath and made her way into the meet-and-greet area where players were speaking to and hanging out with several families and children.

she took a quick look around and sighed in relief when she didn’t see noah anywhere. she could do this.

about an hour later, she was packing up her equipment. the game would start soon and she needed to get into position. she hefted her bag onto her shoulder carefully before standing up, immediately wobbling under the weight and losing her balance.

a strong arm wrapped around her waist and steadied her.

“thank you—” her voice died in her throat as she looked up at the man that still haunted her dreams.

his eyes and face were mostly the same, but there was a hardened edge to them that wasn’t there a few years ago. his body and shoulders were much larger as well, and he pretty much overwhelmed her frame.

“hey cheerleader.”

she swallowed. “hi, noah.”

his hand lingered even as she righted herself and cleared her throat nervously.

“good luck—”

“it’s good to—”

they chuckled, tension broken for the moment as they looked into each other’s eyes.

“harris, let’s go!”

noah shoved his hands in his pockets and took a step back. “maybe we could catch up after the game, if you want to.”

her eyes brightened. “i’d love to.”

they didn’t get the chance. the world seemed to move in slow motion when emma saw noah go down in the pocket from a particularly bad tackle. he had to be carried off the field in a stretcher and it was all she could do to keep from running onto the field.

they had broken up so he could focus on his career. she hoped it wasn’t in vain.

best game

two years later

emma crouched low to the ground with her long-range camera, snapping pictures of the huddle. there was less than twenty seconds left in the game – just enough, if barely, time for one last play. they needed a touchdown. and she could feel the nervous energy in her body thrumming in time with that of the crowd.

when noah went down with that horrific injury a couple years ago, most people wrote him off and didn’t think he’d play again. and if he somehow managed to recover? they all just said he probably wouldn’t be the same. a collarbone injury was usually a career death sentence for quarterbacks.

but the media, press, and so-called sportscasters didn’t know noah like she did. how strong a fighter he was. how he picked himself back up after every setback and pushed onward.

this time, she was with him every step of the way.

that didn’t mean he had an easy go of it.

he had to get surgery and go through months of intense physical therapy to get his shoulder feeling back to normal. then he had rehab for football to try to get back into form. and there was always doubt as to whether he’d be as good as before.

the season hadn’t gone smoothly. they scraped and clawed their way to the playoffs, with opposing teams taking advantage of noah’s occasional hesitance in the pocket and conservative throwing by pressuring his position. but somehow, they pulled through.

sportscasters all over would remark about how something seemed to just “click” back into place for noah harris.

only noah and emma knew what that something was.

a few weeks earlier

“are you nervous?”

noah hummed thoughtfully as his hand trailed up and down emma’s shoulder.

“surprisingly, no,” he said after a moment. “win or lose, i have everything i’ve ever wanted right here in my arms.”

emma chuckled. “when did you become such a romantic?”

“you know you bring it out of me.”

he turned on his side so he could nuzzle his nose in her hair. “you’re it for me, babe.”

“me too, noah. i mean it. if you’ll have me forever, i want that with you.”

noah pulled back to look at her. “for real?”

she nodded.

of course, emma couldn’t say with confidence that their conversation made that big of a difference, but noah’s performance every game afterward seemed to be nothing short of miraculous. by all means, his shoulder should still be giving him trouble, but the way he was throwing today in the championship game would make anyone wonder if he had been injured at all.

but this was it. everything was riding on this last play.

they were down by three points and too far for a field goal. a touchdown would end the game and clinch the championship. the team wasn’t known for playing it safe, not with noah and his arm at the helm.

emma was glued to her camera lens and clicking away, but she was barely focused on the shots. she just hoped the footage was positioned correctly and usable. she heard noah call out the play and quickly scanned the field as players moved into position.

a hail mary.

it really was going to come down to these last few seconds.

she saw the wide receiver break through the line and speed down the field, turning back to where noah had stepped back, arm poised to throw. on instinct, emma moved her camera up and snapped the shutter, capturing the exact moment noah released the ball, right before he was tackled to the ground.

and then everything seemed to move in slow motion.

she swung the camera to the left, finding the receiver in the end zone with his arms outstretched. he jumped up and the ball came arcing directly into his arms and the stadium roared with such an intensity she thought she was going deaf.

emma quickly put away her camera and left her bag with her assistant before running on to the confetti-strewn field, weaving around reports, players, and staff.

she knew noah got tackled. she needed to see that he was okay.

despite the reporters surrounding him, she squeezed her way through and wrapped her arms around him.

“i’m so glad you’re okay,” she yelled over the stadium noise. “i knew you could do it.”

noah smiled and removed her hands from his neck. she frowned in confusion as he took a step back and dropped to one knee.

“what are you doing?”

he was holding out a ring box in his hand and she had no clue how that got there. did a trainer or someone sneak that over to him?

it didn’t matter. it didn’t matter that they were surrounded by tens of thousands of screaming fans or that this moment was likely being broadcasted live by the sheer number of cameras around them. it didn’t matter that his friends and teammates were all hollering and creating a protective circle around them.

all she could see was the love of her life looking up at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

“the championship ring we just won today is nothing compared to what this ring means right here,” he said, opening the box to reveal a very sizable diamond.

“marry me, em?”

emma squealed, not caring that it made her look like an excited teenager.

“of course, i’ll marry you!”

noah carefully placed the ring on her finger before wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up. he swung her around before placing her carefully back on the ground, bringing her in for a deep kiss.

“i love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“i love you too, noah,” she whispered back as they held hands and headed off the field.

* * * * * taglist: @choicesficwriterscreations; @khoicesbyk; @nyastarlight; @chetachisblog; @robintora; @shows-simp-card; @brycesgirl;

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sunshine304 · 3 years ago

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Recent PastPost pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game.

So, I was tagged by @bang-won uhm... quite a while ago.

Thank you for the tag! ♥ It took me forever to get around to it, but yesterday I was motivated enough to run Photoshop and do the little graphics, because if I talk about celebrity crushes, this post should at least look nice. XD

Everything else under the cut, because it's a lot!

Also, it's been so long I'm not going to tag anyone, I don't even know who of my mutuals already did this... Anyone who sees this and feels inspired can feel themselves tagged! ;D

Crushes in my early Teens

John Partridge: If you have seen the 1998 “Cats” video, you'll know where this comes from. XD I was so into him, especially because he got the role of Roger in the German “Rent” production. I do have the recording of a concert with the whole cast when they promoted the show on “Rock am Ring”. I thought he was really good-looking, but mostly I was extremely in love with his voice. Ugh so good. Was my crush for years and I still know his birthday. XD

Peti van der Velde: She was Mimi in the German “Rent” cast. She was super hot and I love her voice!

Cary Elwes: You might think it's because of “The Princess Bride” - but it's not! I first saw him in “Robin Hood – Men in Tights”, which is just a hilarious movie in general! But I also found him very attractive in that – I guess it was the humour and his objectively good looks. Then I saw him in TPB and my fate was sealed. Swoonworthy and again, so funny!

Matthew Porretta: He was Will Scarlett O'Hara in “Robin Hood – Men in Tights”, and yeah, I also thought he was hot. :D Never saw him again in anything else, I think? Oh no, that's not right – he did a Robin Hood tv show, where he played Robin! Yeah, I saw that, too. But that was it – it was the days of yore, no internet to speak of, so no chance for a young teenaged girl to get info on him.

Will Smith: He was super famous back then already, and yeah, for me it was “Men in Black” and “Wild West West” - the songs were sooo cool, and he looked really good and cool in both movies. (Yes, I know that WWW is objectively a bad movie, but it had Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Salma Hayek, and a very good theme song.)

Shakira: I loved her music and her dancing.... XD Years later it occurred to me that this might've been a crush.

Catherine Zeta-Jones: “The Mask of Zorro”, anyone? Oh my God, she was so hot in that. T_T

The Period Drama Phase

So, these are all around 2005, I guess? I watched a lot of Jane Austen / period dramas back then.

Colin Firth: He was such a perfect Mr Darcy. *swoons* I also watched a lot of his other movies and still like him a lot. Funniest thing was that my boss also adored his performance in “Pride & Prejudice” and went on a “buy every movie he's in” spree. Which included “Where the Truth Lies”, so she one day came to work and complained about this Colin Firth movie that really was very bad and why would he act in such a movie etc. I'd already seen it and just had to laugh internally, like, “I'm sorry he destroyed this idealised version in your head with the bisexual orgy...” XD

Jeremy Northam: Yeah, Mr. Knightley from “Emma”.

Richard Armitage: And he was John Thornton in “North & South” (which I should rewatch because it was really good). God ugh, he was so attractive in that! But I find him to be very attractive in general, still do. Always happy to see him in anything and I'm still pissed that “The Hobbit” movies did turn out to be a mess.

Ewan McGregor: He was in “Sense & Sensibility” (honorary mention for Alan Rickman and Kate Winslet, who I also crushed on a bit...), but! That wasn't what I saw first. Instead, it was “Big Fish”, which I rewatched a thousand times or so, because I loved it as a movie, and he looked good in it. Then I saw him in “Moulin Rouge”, and that fucker could sing! (´▽`ʃ♥ƪ)

Thomas Godoj: Oh hey, hello DSDS winner 2008! I immediately found him kinda hot in that “he's had several rough rock star nights and someone should feed him” way, you know? XD He seemed very humble and kind in his interviews, and in the top 15 show he left everyone in the dust with his version of “Chasing Cars”. They later published the voting numbers and he won every show with at least 40%... He's also a good songwriter. I'm not crushing on him anymore, but I still buy his albums and like a lot of his songs. I think he's the best winner that show every had (except for Alexander Klaws, who won the first season, and went on to become a great entertainer).

Character Crushes

Kinda parallel to the Period Drama Phase but also “feeding” into my Fandom Crushes, of course. It's all coming together.(¬‿¬)

Sawyer: “Lost” was a huge phenomenon for a while – the first few seasons were actually really compelling – and I definitely crushed on Josh Holloway as Sawyer. He was so hot in that show, and also a bit of an cocky asshole character (with Hidden Depths™), so there you go.

Legolas: The “Lord of the Rings” movies were so formative for my generation, I think, and pretty much all of my friends were crushing on someone from that cast. XD I was watching this and thinking, “Ohh that Legolas actor is really handsome” and he also got dubbed by one of my favourite voice actors! I had a poster in my room. I did not take up archery, though.

Aragorn: Aaaaand the other character from LotR I crushed on hard. XD But only in his down and dirty Strider form, with sweaty hair and that half-ass beard and the worn-in clothes. Not the cleaned up King Elessar version, that just wasn't the same anymore after watching about 11 hours of rugged manliness! But yeah, I think he and Legolas were the two characters most of my friends were crushing on in some way. (It's also a really good movie for horse girls!)

Here begins the “Pirates of the Caribbean” phase, my One True Love, you Perfect Trilogy That Will Forever Hold an Important Spot in My Heart.

Will Turner: It was the guy who played Legolas in an action costume movie doing swashbuckling things! He got to wear a fashionable hat and cape! Together with Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann he was the Heart & Soul of these movies! There was funny banter! He often was wet and dirty, with his clothes clinging to him! ♥

Captain Jack Sparrow: I found him super compelling as a character at first, and then I got into the fandom (my first real online fandom) and we wrote a lot of meta, and then I read fanfiction, and he quickly turned into my favourite character. XD And with that came a huge crush on him. Yeah, I know that in RL he'd reek of alcohol and... other things, but luckily Smell-O-Vision never head a break through and so we can all just imagine that he looks like a street bum dragged through the muck but that he smells of a mountain meadow in summer or something! But jokes aside, I just loved him so much as a character, because there were so many layers to him. Movies 4 and 5 are kinda there, you know, but I don't really take them into account much. For me it's the trilogy and all the fantastic fanfic I read for it.

James Norrington: I really liked him as clean and proper Commodore Norrington, but “Dead Man's Chest” brought him down to eye level and made him hot. The Sparrington pairing also got me into Slashfic like whoa, because a lot of it was hot as burning. XD (And it also taught me to set boundaries for myself, because some stuff was too explicit for my tastes at the time, so I skimmed it or clicked out of it etc. You know, what the teens of today could actually learn to do once in a while, ahem.) Anyway, this character was great and I'll be eternally pissed that they killed him off.

Fandom Crushes

These were huuuuge, my friends. HUGE! It was the time of me really getting into fandom, the peak of Livejournal, lots of great fanfic and online content, and I met some dear friends through it that I'm still in contact with to this day. ♥

Johnny Depp: Got hooked by PotC and then watched loads of his movies afterwards. I head seen him in some stuff before, of course, but PotC made me appreciate his acting ability. This was also the time when he had cleaned up his act, was happily married, and did a lot of hot-as-burning photoshoots. I had mostly moved on by the time he spiralled out of control (midlife crisis and addiction are a bad mix), but it was still very sad to watch. Now, I just hope that he gets the help he needs and finds his acting mojo again.

Zoe Saldaña: Of course from PotC as well, because I adored Anamaria! But I already knew her from “Center Stage”, where 'd liked her. Through PotC I checked out some of her movies. I think she looks gorgeous and beautiful, and she's got this dancer's grace, you know? Also, trivia time if you ever are on “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” – she's the actress with the biggest box office to her name, a fact that many random people on the street wouldn't know. (Male counterpart is of course Samuel L. Jackson.)

David Tennant: I really crushed on him during his “Doctor Who” era. It was never this kind of big crush I had on some of the others on this far too extensive list, but still. Crush kinda came back a bit because of “Good Omens”.

Benedict Cumberbatch: So yeah, you might've heard about that BBC tv series called “Sherlock”... This was an even bigger fandom for me than PotC, I think, simply because at this time the internet had really gone off and you could find everything. (✪ ω ✪) I also crushed on the character Sherlock, but I think it was very much connected to Cumberbatch in this role, IDK. The look was great and is kinda my type, the show was fun. So much great fanfiction. So much! I checked out all of his other work as well, as you do. It's calmed down considerably now, mainly because season 4 was such a mess that it killed my enthusiasm for the show and therefore for him, too.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Martin Freeman: To a lesser degree than Cumberbatch, but yeah, I also crushed on him because of “Sherlock”. I thought his acting was even better, subtler, and I was very disappointed of the direction they took with the character in season 4. Freeman was too, it came through in his interviews at the time. And god, I loved him in “The Hobbit”, such perfect casting and it got kinda wasted. Never over it.

Sebastian Stan: Ugh yeah, he's hot, what can I say. XD Love him in the MCU, and for a while I read a lot of Stucky fic. It was never a huge crush, but it flared up there for a while.

Recent Past

Chris Evans: He was so great as Steve Rogers! He also provided very nice eye candy to some rather middling movies in the past, and I love his humour and that he speaks up so much about social and political topics. Also he loves dogs!♥

Dylan O'Brien: So yeah, “Teen Wolf” anyone? XD I actually never watched a lot of that show, because they aired it in such a disconnected way on German tv that I gave up. So I saw... season 2 and then the first few episodes of season 3? But by then I'd already gotten into the fandom, because … of fanfiction? I don't even know anymore how I got into it, likely some of my fav writers started writing for it, or I saw all these Sterek gifsets and thought, “Oh they're both hot!” XD anyway, that's how I became aware of him. He was even hotter in “Maze Runner” and I'm still kinda bummed out that so far he hasn't had a big break, because I think he is a really good actor and deserves to be more successful. Love his sarcastic humour and that he throws shade at TW every chance he gets, because that show deserves it (or rather, the people behind it do).

Tyler Hoechlin: Oh look, the other half of the Sterek 'ship! XD So yeah, he is very conventionally fucking hot, guys. He was also shirtless a lot in TW. Sometimes you just want to have some serious eye candy you know. But! He also seems to be a really likeable person, and he brought much more depth to his character Derek than was on the page. And he was very open about how disappointed he was about the direction the show took with his character, and that they queerbaited the hell out of it. My crush on him is very much tied with TW, I haven't seen him in other stuff, I think. But he seems to be doing well enough, so good for him! (Also, yeah, he is the perfect Superman.)

Natalie Dormer: Well, she kinda became famous for being sexy and hot in “The Tudors”, what can I say. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I loved her in that. Might've been the permanent smirk she's got going. I also really enjoyed her in “The Hunger Games” and liked to stare at screenshots of GoT (which I haven't watched), because she had stunning costumes there and always looked gorgeous. I really need to get around to watching “Elementary” one of these days...

Joseph Gordon-Levitt: So, there was this movie called “Inception”... XD I still low-key ship Arthur/Eames (honorary mention for Tom Hardy, I'm sorry, I cannot name every crush I've ever had or we'd be here all day). JGL was looking very attractive in well-cut suits and he was also very competent and got one of the best fight scenes. That was the time when he suddenly was in many movies that I enjoyed, like “50/50”, “The Dark Knight Rises” (okay, that one was soso, but he was great in it), “Premium Rush”, “Don Jon” (ugh, yeah that♥). I also kinda remembered that he was in “10 Things I Hate About You”, which was forever ago, and I thought he was cute in that. Also, he can sing and dance, which is always a plus and makes a man exponentially more hot in my opinion. He also seems to be a chill dude who's very much into music and got married without anyone noticing. XD He just does his thing and I respect that.

Current Crushes

Xiao Zhan: This man. So beautiful. So handsome. (❤ ω ❤) Most of the people reading this are in CQL fandom as well, so you all know how hot he is. XD Yet again the lethal combination of singing, acting, and dancing, as well as killer looks. Honorary mention for Wang Yibo, who I crush on in specific circumstances but often find weird to crush on because he's so much younger than me. Xiao Zhan, I crush on without remorse. ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ That smile. *swoons*

Robert Downey Jr.: Yay, I liked him before it was cool again! XD I'd watched “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”, which I adored, and he was fantastic in it. Then he did “Iron Man” and “Sherlock Holmes”, and I'm sorry, I'm just a sucker for his look with the beard/goatee thing and the dark slightly tousled hair and the dark eyes. Helps that he's a really great actor and also very funny. It's crazy to look at his filmography and it's mostly MCU movies for the last 10 years... So I guess it's good that they killed him off and he can do other things now (like OMG “Sherlock Holmes 3”!!).

Janelle Monae: She's gorgeous and she's got talent for ten people! I love her! Makes great music, very outspoken and in your face, great style. I also loved her in the few movies I saw her in, she was fantastic.

Hugh Jackman: Oh no, the whole package. XD Can sing, can dance, can act, handsome, unbelievably likeable, great entertainer. It's bad. I saw him on his concert tour in Cologne, it was an awesome show, he was amazing, so funny, nice interactions with the audience, too. I prefer his current look to that overly buff Wolverine one, and I'm pretty sure he's happy that he doesn't have to bulk up like that anymore. He's just, so damn nice!(*/ω＼*)

Ben Whishaw: Oh yeah, and I might have a thing for the nerdy looking guys. XD He is an amazing actor, and yet again I'm a sucker for the dark tousled her and dark, deep eyes, sorry not sorry. Loved him as Q in the Bond movies and enjoyed him a lot as that tortured artist character in “Cloud Atlas”, just for the drama of it all. I still got a lot of his stuff on my watch list (some of his tv shows have taken a loooong time to make it to Germany, I think one or two are still not dubbed).

So that was that. A huge list of crushes and I've surely forgotten a lot of celebrities, especially in the music department. XD No boy band members, though, because I kinda liked their music but never became a fan of any of them.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you made it through all of this, congratulations, I admire your resilience and determination! ♥

#tumblr games #tag games #thank you for tagging me!#long post but totally worth it #my posts

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demisexualemmaswan · 4 years ago

Text

to make the season bright

Summary: Killian's been in love with his roommate, Emma, for as long as he's known her. But when she admits to him that she's lost a sentimental Christmas present, how can he prove to her that she means more to him than what would've been underneath the tree that year?

[Read on Ao3] A/N: Wow, I can't believe that this is my 6th year running for doing Captain Swan Secret Santa! And I still get someone new every year! This is a gift for @resident-of-storybrooke who has been absolutely so lovely to chat with over the last month! I hope you like your gift! Thanks to @cssecretsanta2020 for organizing this year’s event!

Shoutout to @kmomof4, @teamhook, @lonelyspectator12, @hollyethecurious and the entire CSMM discord who kept me motivated while I was writing!

Killian Jones was a neat man.

His days from the Navy—and Liam’s strict rules from his childhood—instilled that habit in him. And while he was well aware that not everyone would feel the same as he did, he was not so tested until he started living with Emma Swan.

He’d met Emma at a party. Her boyfriend at the time had gotten very aggressive after copious amounts of eggnog and tried to swing and Killian, who’d promptly flipped Walsh and broke Ruby’s coffee table. Ruby was easily persuaded to forgive once Killian had bought her a new coffee table.

At first, he was sure that Emma hated him for what had happened until a few weeks later, when she’d demanded, eyes aglow with fire and determination, that she teach him how to flip people over. She’d cited it was necessary for her job, and he hadn’t quite known what that meant until he saw her flip a skip onto his back when he tried to punch her.

Their self-defense lessons after his shift then turned into quick lunches, which turned into movies nights with just them in addition to their friend group’s movie nights. It was during a group movie night that it was revealed that despite breaking up with Walsh at the Christmas party, he was still living in the apartment because Emma couldn’t afford the rent by herself. While Emma was surprisingly prudent in her savings given her general cavalier to almost everything else in her life including what she ate and the state of her room, she was only paid as long as she could work. Any long-term injury would send her careening backwards in her savings, and letting Walsh live in the apartment was a way to offset the financial risk.

Killian, a life-long believer in good form, simply wouldn’t stand for it. Since the apartment was in Emma’s name only, Walsh had no claim to it. And surprisingly to all (or unsurprisingly) that as soon as Regina mentioned her sister was single, Walsh had no problem moving out of Emma’s apartment, allowing Killian to move in.

So here he was, 9 months later, trudging up to the apartment that he and Emma shared.

His cheeks flushed even though no one was around.

The first time he’d mentioned that he was moving in with Emma, his brother had squawked and protested that he should’ve known Killian was seeing someone. And every time Killian spoke to Liam, Liam always asked if he and Emma started dating yet. Which…they were not a couple, they were just friends. Though Killian would’ve absolutely dated Emma in a heartbeat, if given the opportunity. She was beautiful, strong, and incredibly intelligent in a way that surprised people who were just meeting her. He absolutely adored her and cherished every moment he spent with her. But with the strength of their bond also came with the vulnerabilities Emma allowed him to see. She had been betrayed, hurt, and let very few people know what was truly going on in her mind. He was honored that after such a short time, she had let him into the circle that only included a handful of people. So he didn’t push her for anything romantic, for fear that if his intentions were misperceived that she would draw her walls up again. Not that he blamed her. She’d been disappointed by so many people in her life, and it would kill him if he ever joined those numbers.

Besides, what sort of a man would force his intentions by someone with whom he cohabitated a space with? Well, Walsh would, he could hear Emma’s derisive remark in her head. Still, he began marching up the steps in their apartment complex, hoping that Emma could hear. Tonight was the night that they were exchanging gifts before he went off to his brother’s house and she went off to her brother’s house. It was a tradition that Emma valued most highly, having missed her fair share of Christmases in her youth. Emma had been passed around the foster system almost her whole life until she’d met Ruth Nolan at age 16. Well, correction: she’d met Ruth’s son David (her now brother), who had brought her home to his mother on her first day of school, and Ruth had done everything humanly possible to keep Emma with them.

Killian, having been taken in by his older brother when his brother had emancipated from their father, could sympathize with wanting spend time with family. Though he was sure that, knowing Emma, she’d been caught up in something and waited until the last possible moment to wrap his gift despite her imminent departure. He knew this because he’d walked in on her wrapping his gift on his birthday. She’d scowled when he laughed, and her cheeks had turned red with embarrassment. But it had been the perfect gift and she still had surprised him with a wonderful chocolate cake.

His heart warmed affectionately upon how she’d gone out of her way to get it from his favorite bakery, one that marked the halfway point between where he lived and his brother’s. He recalled the shy smile that tugged at the edge of her lips when she told him that she hoped he liked his cake. It was the memory of his birthday that had inspired him to go out of his way to get a particularly excellent birthday for her in October, and now an excellent Christmas present. For her birthday, he’d gotten her a pair of high heeled boots that the saleswoman assured him were comfortable, and now were Emma’s go-to piece of footwear for chasing skips.

For Christmas, he’d gotten her baby blanket repaired. She’d been left at a hospital with nothing but a knitted blanket with her name on it. It was all she had given toward any clue toward her parents. But a drunk Will had accidentally unraveled it at Halloween, and although she’d tried to hide it from their friends, Emma was absolutely distraught about the destruction of her blanket.

He was picturing the look on her face, hoping her eyes would light up with joy and he could watch her fingers reverently trace the knitwork when he arrived at the front door and was overcome with the notion that something was very wrong. The door was slightly ajar, which was unusual for their apartment. Immediately shifting into high alert, he opened the door gently. The apartment was beyond a disaster.

Things were thrown about everywhere, the window was thrust right open and one of the flowerpots was shattered on the ground. Killian began to catalog all of the damage, wondering whether or not there had been a robbery, when he heard the tiniest of sniffles. His blood ran cold, his shoulders became stiff and tight and his heart began to pick up in his chest. “Emma?” he called, trying to keep his worry at bay. As he moved through the apartment, there was a path of destruction no matter where he went. His mind kept picturing horrible scenario after horrible scenario, particularly as Emma’s sobs became louder and louder as he approached her bedroom.

“Emma?” he tried again, not hearing a response. Unable to stand it any longer, he thrust the door open. Her room had seemingly taken the worst hit; even though it was normally in a state of disarray, the destruction in her room could only be described as catastrophic. And there was Emma, in the middle of it, sobbing like the world was ending. He immediately scooped her up and placed her on the bed, frantically assessing her for injury. His Emma was a tough lass, and so for her to be crying like this meant the absolute worst of the worst.

When she seemed to realize it was him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against him. He wrapped himself around her protectively, stroking the back of her hair. “You’re all right, love,” he whispered softly. “You’re safe. I’m here…it’s all right, Emma.”

“’s not!” Emma choked out, curling up against him, her entire body heaving and shaking with the force of her cries. “It’s not all right!”

“What happened?” he asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. Though he was not entirely unsure that she was unharmed, there still was the state of the apartment to contend with. He was desperate to clean it, but if there needed to be a police investigation, he couldn’t touch the damn thing.

Her shaking damn near broke his heart and he held her closer, shushing her gently. “It’s okay, love, it’s okay,” he promised her again.

“It’s not!” she hiccupped. “I lost it! I can’t find it!”

His heart picked up again, wondering if she’d gone looking for her baby blanket for comfort and was unable to find it. Suddenly, he felt like the world’s biggest asshole, taking her blanket without permission. It was something she treasured and was comforted by and he had no right to take it without her permission.

He looked down at her, preparing to make a million and one apologies to her and to assure her that her baby blanket was safe and she could have it right then and there, when she added miserably, “I lost your Christmas present!”

“What?” he asked, dumbfounded. He nearly laughed at the absurdity of it all but seeing how devastated Emma was kept his tongue in check. He knew that she wouldn’t have appreciated his chuckling.

She pulled away her head hung low as she continued to cry. “You must hate me!” she declared, still not looking at him. “I know it’s Christmas and I’m so sorry…I should’ve taken better care of it…”

It was only then that he realized that she’d mistaken his shock for anger, and he gently reached for her hand. “Emma, love,” he tried to soothe softly, running his thumb across her knuckles. “It’s okay. I’m not angry…”

“You will be when you find out what it is,” she muttered, her head still hung low.

“Emma, trust me, whatever my gift was supposed to be, it cannot be worse than the scenario I’d concocted in my head when I discovered the door ajar and the apartment destroyed,” he replied, reaching for her again. Maybe there was a part of him that still needed to reassure himself that she was safe. She finally looked up at him, her head cocked to the side curiously. “I…when I saw everything in disarray and heard your cries, I…I thought we’d been robbed and you’d been hurt,” he admitted shyly, taking his gaze away from hers now.

Her emerald eyes were wide with shock and her mouth hung open a little bit, still needing to reconcile every so soften that people cared about her. Emma’s jaw slid open as she stared at him, her tears stopping almost immediately at the revelation. “You were worried about me?” she squeaked.

“Aye, of course I was,” Killian breathed, holding her close to him. “Everything had gone to pieces and the apartment was not how I left it this morning.”

Emma sighed, scrubbing at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I wanted to clean it up before you got home but then I couldn’t find your present and—" Her breathing picked up again and tears began pooling in her eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Killian murmured, cupping her cheek in his hand. His thumb gently dragged across her cheek.

“And now I’m gonna leave you with all of this cuz I’m supposed to go to David’s!” she babbled. Her body seemed to tremble viciously in his hold. It was clear she’d been on edge and frantic for a while now, only just coming down. Her hand trembled visibly in his hand, and he’d never seen Emma so emotional or terrified. She’d come home battered and bruised, he’d stayed with her overnight in the hospital, but he’d never seen her like this.

His heart seemed to stop. He knew that she held great stock in her trusty bug, but he was unable and unwilling to place her life at risk on it. She was in no position to drive.

“Love, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to be driving in the condition you’re in,” Killian said softly. “You know David won’t hold it against you if you delay your trip another day. You’re in no state to be driving right now. It’s dark, and you need to be at your best when you get on the road.”

Emma’s lips came together in a thin tight line. “Trust me,” she said sadly. “You’re not gonna want to spend the rest of the night with me and I should go.”

Closing her eyes, she hung her head. “Liam called a few weeks ago, and said he found some of your mother’s hand sewn ornaments in the attic...he wanted to know if...if you wanted them for your birthday. I told him no, that they’d make a lovely Christmas present.” Her voice got smaller and smaller as she spoke, and a pit of dread formed in Killian’s stomach.

“I got the box and I don’t know where I put it and I’ve looked everywhere...so I’ll just...I’ll clean up and then I’ll go. You can return my Christmas present if you want to,” she finished quietly, not even daring to look at him. “And...and if you want to move out or if you want me to move out, I understand. I’ll need a few days to find a place, but...but I promise I can clear out.”

Killian took in a shaky breath. The loss hit him harder than he was willing to admit. His mother died when he was quite young, but he remembered her sitting in her rocking chair and sewing any ornament Killian or Liam asked of her. “Did...did Liam send me all of them?” he asked, unable to help the question. There was so much about Emma’s speech that he needed to address and respond to, but he couldn’t cling to the desperate hope that some of the ornaments survived.

“No,” Emma rasped, and she watched him with some trepidation. “I had to beg him to take some of them.”

Killian sighed with some relief, knowing that all wasn’t lost forever. Closing his eyes, he took a few deep breaths. She’d made the decision to save some for Liam. She’d tried to do this nice thing for him. She was always trying to do nice things for him and she deserved the benefit of the doubt.

And if he was honest, she wasn’t particularly the best searcher. Most things she looked at with a half-hearted glance before declaring she couldn’t find them.

So he wasn’t going to let himself believe that his present was gone, until he’d helped her search every last inch of the apartment.

“Let’s clean everything up,” Killian said kindly. “And we won’t discuss anyone moving out until we know for sure it’s lost to the ages and not in a hidden, obscure spot because you were sure you’d remember it later.” He was going to tease her about how many times she’d misplaced her keys, but she’d all but tackled him to the ground before he could take another breath.

He squeezed her tightly as she tucked herself into him. “Are you sure?” she asked, her voice shaking.

“Aye, love,” he promised. “I won’t send you away.” Her whole body seemed to melt at the reassurance. He knew the need for her to hear those words stemmed from her days as a foster child, and he was more than happy to give them.

Seeing how she had clearly and thoroughly mentally lashed herself made it very hard to be angry with her. And if it had turned out that they were gone, he would mourn them like he mourned his mother. He hadn’t known her ornaments had survived after his father seemingly removed every sign of his mother from the house.

And to only know that they existed only when they seemed gone was upsetting, he wouldn’t lie.

But it certainly wasn’t a friendship ending event in his eyes. He would need some space to mourn, but he wouldn’t banish her from her home.

And she needed some tender care at the moment too. It was more than clear that she had done everything in her power to try and relocate them.

He scooped her up in his arms and gently carried her to the couch, which had mercifully been spared. “What—?” she started, pushing herself back up.

His heart seemingly broke again, looking back at her. The circles under her eyes seemed so dark. Her eyes were red and red-rimmed. What kind of awful, imaginary scenarios had she conjured for herself while he’d been thinking the worst?

They were so similar, both scarred by their pasts in different ways.

“I wasn’t joking about you recuperating, Emma,” he said softly. “So I’m gonna make you some cocoa. And when your nerves have settled, you can join me in the cleaning of the apartment.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Emma complained, throwing herself dramatically against the couch. “I lost priceless family heirlooms and destroyed the entire apartment…”

“I think you’ve already beat yourself up enough for it, love,” Killian murmured, trying to imbue every ounce of sincerity into his words. He knelt beside her, hoping he was being reassuring. “And while I won’t lie to you: I’ll be devastated if it well and truly is lost, you shouldn’t feel like you have to continue to beat yourself up.”

Emma frowned as she looked at him. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but then closed it. She seemed to slump into the couch, all the fight drained out of her body.

He went into the kitchen to give her some space. In addition to her cocoa, he decided to get some Christmas cookies from his hidden cookie stash. Killian tried not to listen as she declared to her brother and she was the worst person alive and she had no idea how Killian was going to forgive her or how she could even think about enjoying Christmas if she lost his gift.

Emma treasured sentimental things. He knew this about her. But he hoped that he would not forsake her favorite holiday for his sake.

He’d survive without the ornaments. Truly.

But he hoped to god that they found them. As each moment passed, he was becoming more painfully aware that his friendship with Emma may not survive this event. But not from his side.

She would probably keep herself at a distance and put her walls up out of sheer guilt.

He couldn’t stand to be behind those walls again.

He couldn’t stand her not knowing just how important she was to him.

Knowing how sentimental she was, he figured he had one last move in trying to prove her importance in his life. Breathing deeply, he rushed to his room. His bedroom was still immaculate, and so he was able to quickly duck under his bed.

The gift was still neatly wrapped, the bow skillfully placed on top. He smiled softly at the box before heading back out into the living room.

She’d wrapped a blanket around herself and she was curled up on her side.

She’d never looked more beautiful to him.

Killian gently walked toward her, and she tilted her head up at him questioningly. She blinked owlishly at him for a moment, blurting out, “That’s not my hot cocoa.”

He couldn’t help but burst out laughing in spite of himself. “No, it’s not,” he chuckled, putting the box on the table in front of her.

“But why?” Emma protested, her shoulders coming up around her ears. A guarded and caged look entered her eyes.

“Because I need you to know just how important you are to me, Emma. More important than any ornament ever could be.”

“But they were your mother’s,” Emma protested softly. Her voice caught as she added, “I’d kill to have something of my mom’s. All I have is a torn baby blanket.”

“Open your present, love,” Killian insisted softly.

Delicately, she undid his careful wrapping and made sure to save the bow. “It’s a box,” she said, looking up at him, not making a move to open it any further.

“Your gift is inside the box,” he teased.

Her hands stayed firmly folded in her lap. “Killian, I can’t accept this. Especially after what I did. I ruined your Christmas.”

“Love, don’t you know that you’re all I need for Christmas?” The words well and truly flew out of Killian’s mouth before he could stop them. Her head jerked up abruptly and her eyes were wide with shock. He was almost positive that his jaw was hanging open too. But he continued, “Don’t you know, Emma? It’s you. You here and happy is all I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted.” Killian scratched nervously behind his ear. “Perhaps some day as more than friends. But even if you never felt that way about me, it would still be all I’ve ever wanted.”

He could see the desperate flicker of hope enter her eyes, and he could practically see the thoughts chasing themselves across her face. He could say all those kind things to her, even when she had done what she considered to be an irredeemable act.

Because he truly cared for her.

And so he said the one thing he knew he could to confirm Emma’s hope.

“I love you, Emma.”

Before he could blink, his arms were full of her yet again and her mouth cautiously slid against his. He tightened his arm around her before returning her kiss, all but melting with relief that she not only believed in the strength of his feelings but seemed to return them as well.

When they broke apart, she rested his forehead against his. Very quietly, she asked against his lips, “You love me even though I didn’t get you a Christmas present?”

“I’d say you just did, love,” he hummed, chasing her lips again. She pulled away, levelling him with a look that told him that she genuinely did need the reassurance even though the corners of her mouth were twitching as if to fight back a smile. “Aye, love,” he promised. “They’re just ornaments.”

“I’ll make you new ones,” she promised, resting her hand on his chest. “They’ll be ugly and misshapen, but I’ll—” He silenced her again with a soft and gentle kiss, and Killian let out a sigh of relief when Emma seemed to melt against him. When they broke apart again, Emma’s head rest against his shoulder and he swayed with her gently in the kitchen.

“How long have you been hiding my present from me?” she asked, still staring at the box on the coffee table. “And where? I go into your room like all the time, I can’t believe I didn’t find it!”

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Why, I put it in the one place I know you don’t look: under the bed.”

Emma gasped and jerked her head up so quickly that he would’ve had a broken nose if not for his quick reflexes. “I know where the box with the ornaments is!” she cried joyously, tearing herself from his arms. He followed her back to her room, where she was more than halfway under her bed, pushing things out. “I hid it behind a ton of other stuff in case you ever went looking under my bed!” she exclaimed, her voice muffled.

“Why would I go looking underneath your bed, love?” Killian asked, unable to hold back his laughter this time.

“Because hiding anything from you is a full-time job,” Emma retorted happily, wiggling out from under the bed. Her hair was disheveled, her clothes covered in dust, but her eyes gleamed with unadulterated exuberance as she held a small white box on her hand. Liam’s handwriting on the shipping label only confirmed that these were indeed the box of ornaments.

She all but sprung up and thrust the box into his hand. “Open it!” she demanded excitedly. The grin on her face was infectious, and she was every bit of the “kid on Christmas morning” picture, even though she was a fully grown adult.

Looking at Liam’s handwriting and knowing that he was only some clear tape away from being connected with a piece of his mother made his eyes water. Emma’s hand was quick to brush away any tears before they fell, and he dipped his cheek to kiss her palm. “Thank you,” he rasped, his voice too choked with emotion to be any louder. “Really, Emma. This is…”

“Don’t you know that I love you too?” she asked as if it was all the explanation he could’ve ever needed.

“Aye, I do,” he replied, and gingerly opened the box. There were some familiar ornaments that he’d seen in pictures: a kite from her grandmother that dated back to 1895, a pig, a basket, and angel, each one with a hand-embroidered date on it. But the one that caught was one he was not familiar with. The date on the back said 1990, which would’ve been his first Christmas. Gingerly flipping it over, a beautiful swan stared up back at him and he found his eyes watering again.

“Did you know?” was all he could spit out.

“No,” she replied, her voice equally choked up. She gingerly rested her head against his shoulder as she looked into the box of ornaments with him. “But it seems your mom did.”

“Aye…” he chuckled wetly. “So she did.”

“Can we put them on the tree?” Emma asked hopefully, looking up at him. Unable to help himself, he leaned down to kiss her again, pouring his love and thanks into the gentle kiss.

“We should,” he agreed against her lips. “And we will. But only after you open your present.”

Emma rolled her eyes playfully and all but dragged him back to the living room with her. He watched as she opened the box and then immediately shut it again. “Is that…?” she asked.

“Aye, love,” he promised. “It is.” With the most care and reverence he’d ever seen her take with anything, she gently took her repaired baby blanket out of the box. Her fingers gently trailed over the stitching, the letters of her name, all of it, as if to try to prove to herself it was real.

He would never forget the loving and content look on her face for as long as he lived.

It was probably what motivated to get her another box one year later.

Only that one had a ring in it.

And two years later?

She gave him a box with a onesie inside that said “I was Daddy’s Christmas present”.

#csss20 #captain swan secret santa 2020 #resident-of-storybrooke #blaire's writing #captain swain fic

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ezginthegetawaycar · 5 years ago

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Delayni: I love taylor because she is single handedly the most gorgeous person inside and out. I feel like she has been there for me in a way that nobody else was and that's never going to change. I love her music and her lyric writing abilities. She is flat out amazing💗

@daisyadorestaylor : she’s my world and i love(r) her 😌💓

@bbswiftieforlife: Dear Taylor, I have been by your side and a fan for a long time I look up to you so much keep doing what your going love you!

@yourmybestfriendd: hey taylor!! 💌how are u doing?? i hope you’re doing well!! i just wanted to say that i love you SO much and thank you for being my idol for almost nine years!! you’re so kind and generous and i love you!! take care of yourself!! -Livvie ✨🦋💌

Aleisha: I love you Taylor because you are a source of inspiration for me and also for other people. Thank you for teaching me so much Taylor. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART 💖

@faithlovestaylor : “thank you for everything you do ❤️🥺”

@drunkonswiftxo: i love you taylor, thank you for being a constant in my life for the last 12 years! here’s to 12 more!

@cruelsummerx89 : You're my inspiration to be a better person. I would love to meet u💘

@alltootaylorswt : Heyy Taylor I just wanted to let you know that I love you so much and I'm so thankful for everything you've done!! I will never stop supporting you and I'll always fight for you as much as I can. Love u - Kaya

@tayloroftodayy : ‘thank you so much taylor helping me through all my highs and lows, i love you unconditionally - hunter 💗’

@naomilovestay : hi taylor it’s naomi!! i love and miss you endlessly. thank you for writing daylight because that’s my baby. i hope you’re doing well and i’m sending you the biggest hug❤️❤️❤️so proud of you and stay safe lovie!

@allisonworshipstswizzle : dear Taylor, I can’t put into words how much I love and respect you but you have impacted my life so much! love you!!

@whoscountingswift : she’s the most beautiful girl! :)

@lyssaswiftie : “You inspired me to write my own songs

@gemmaheartstaylor :Hey buddy, it’s Gem. I just want to let you know how much of a huge part of my life you are! I can’t imagine a world without you or your music and I am so proud to call you my role model💘💓💗💕

@ashleylovestaylor13 : I love Taylor with my whole heart. She has inspired me in many ways. She is an absolute ray of sunshine. I will forever be thankful for her.

@meganstanstaylor : To Taylor💘You mean so so so much to me and i’m so proud of you. I will always support you every step of the way and i stand with you! Thank you for making my life so much more enjoyable with your tours, personality,easter eggs,music videos,award speeches and of course music and love!! I LOVE YOU -Megan💗

@georgiaadorestaylor : i’m so so proud of you @taylorswift!! i love u so much and i’ll always stay by your side💘

@indifferenceswift : hey taylor i love u!! thanks for always being there for me

@newromanticsss89 : taylor thank you for being an amazing role model to me! i am extremely proud of everything thing you do! thank you for your amazing music that i can dance to and cheers me up when i’m upset! i’m really hoping i can give you the biggest hug in the world soon! i will always stay by your side! i absolutely love you with my entire heart! -priscila💗

@taylorismygod-13 : Taylor Alison Swift I just wanna thank you for being in my life for all these years and inspiring me to be the best version of myself💓

@onlyseedayylight :Taylor, I’m Sophie and I love you SO much. Daylight is literally the best song you’ve ever written. Thank you for being such an amazing role model!

@kayleeheartstay : hi taylor!! i wanted to thank you for being my best friends for the past six years. i am so beyond grateful to have you in my life, i don’t know where i would be without you. i love you endlessly and im so proud of you and I will always have your back!! love kaylee 💞🧚🏻‍♀️🧸💌

@kristinarain13 : taylor, thank you so much for being not only my biggest inspiration and my idol, but my best friend. you’ve taught me and showed me so much and that you for all you have done. you mean so much to me and i love you endlessly.love, kristina 💌

@i_was_born_in1989 : Thank you for writing Back To December!💕

@eliselovestay : She means the world to me

@lookatyounowswift13 : “hey taylor, it’s lexi, thank you so much for being there for me over the past eight years. you have shaped me to be the person i am today. i admire your selflessness and your work ethic. i am so proud of how far you’ve come, and i love you so much. thank you for making me so happy, i promise to always stay and support you💗”

@megan-swiftie :“hey taylor! i just wanted to say thank you for being such a light in my life and inspiring me so much. i love you endlessly and hope we can hug someday soon💓🧚🏻‍♀️✨”

@claudialovestay : hi taylor! i’m so proud of you and love you endlessly! 💞

@tswiftenergy : I love you so much thank you for changing my life and making the BEST music to blast!💗💗💗

@leaadorestaylor : There are 171,476 words in the English dictionary and they're still not enough to describe how much you've affected me, inspired me, and healed me, in so many ways... I love you, thank you for everything 💓💖

@dont_blame_emma :My note to Taylor: thanks for everything you have done and continue to do thanks for changing my life ILY Taylor xo Emma

@iolalovestaylor : hi taylor is me (( your supportive icon )) iola !! I love you with my entire heart <3 I hope you are doing well angel 💋

@natalialovestay : hi taylor buddy! I love you so so so much and I hope you are doing well. You’re my biggest inspiration and I honestly don’t have a clue where I’d be if I didn’t find you or your music. thank you for everything, I love you more than words could ever say 🥺💓

Hira: I love you very much taylor. You are a very successful singer. We love the songs. so glad that I have you💓

@anastasialovestay : Taylor I love you so much and I’m so proud of you!! I’ll stand by you forever💖

@asdfghjklswiftt : Hey, Taylor! Just wanted to say how much I love you and how you’ve been my motivation to do music as a career :) can’t wait to see you at Hyde Park Lover Fest 💕

@lucythirteenswift : Dear Taylor: Thank you for playing such a big part in my life! Will always love you 💕

@ezginthegetawaycar *ME!* Hi Taylor!! i love you so much you have always been an inspiration for me you're music is my everything i hope you are stayed safe buddy we always supporting you!!! 💓💗🥰💌

@sophiaswiftiee13 : “ t i love u so so so much. thank you for inspiring me everyday ♡ “

@taysdead :“hey taylor i just want to say thank you SO much for everything you’ve done! you’ve made me so much happier since 2008, and i can’t wait to keep to see you again live, i love you💕”

@jaylinlovestay : Hey Taylor!! Thank you so so much for being such an amazing role model! I love you!! xo Jaylin

@livel0vetaylor : Taylor, I am so proud of everything you accomplished and I can’t wait to see what’s ahead. Thank you so much for everything you have done for me I could never thank you enough!

@frustratedswift : "i love you all the way from the Philippines🇵🇭, 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮, 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐬𝐚"

@ellaswift13 : “she is my best friend and biggest role model”

@iwillholdontoyoutay : Hi taylor, I’m Rana!! i just wanted to say that your heart is the kindest and like.. we don’t deserve you. Thank you so so much for being so kind and thoughtful. I’m sending you the biggggest hugs & i love you so so much🥺💗💗

@hearthandsswift : Hii! I’m Marisa and Taylor has helped me so much. I’ve been a Swiftie for 10 years and throughout the years Tay has inspired me to be brave and to be kind. She has been so inspirational and strong and always talks about stuff that’s important to her. She has helped me through some very dark times and means the absolute world to me. Love you so much Tay 💞💞💞💞💞

@deathbyathousandcutsx :"Taylor please come to Mexico, many people love you in this country" 🇲🇽

@zoelovestay13 : Taylor, I just want to say that you changed my life and inspired me in so many ways! Your music is inspiring and I don’t know what I would do if I never discovered you and your music. Thank you💗💗 Zoë🌹

@sparklesswift13 : My message: Taylor has changed my life forever and who I am today ❤️

@tswiftnme : I am very proud of her and I love her so much

@tswiftenchnated13 : Thank you Taylor for being such an amazing songwriter and having the sweetest heart ❤️

@jaslovestaylor13 : Taylor swift helped me be ME! Taylor is the best, i love her Soo much!

@foreverandalwayswithtaylor : you're my happiness ❤️

@enchanteddreamsswiftie : Thank u so much Taylor for always helping me when I most needed someone to understand and help me, I love you so much💕💕💕

@brisalovestaylor : I love you so much Taylor you are my world ❤️

@swiftcutiepiee : I love you Taylor stay safe!

@alicelovestaylorsblog : Taylor you are amazing people in the world. I love your music and your voice. You are the most beautiful girl in the world and you very kind to everyone. You are the one of my favourite women in the world and no one can be like you because you are so special to us. I love you so much Taylor 🥺❤️. - Alice

Ceren: Taylor i love you so much, you are one of the most perfect people in the world 💛

@cuttyswift : Hii taylor, How are you? you have been my inspiration.. lots of love and support to you 😘

WE LOVE YOU AND WE WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU! 💗💗💗

LOVE, SWIFTIES 💌

@taylorswift

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shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years ago

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After releasing their album Play With Fire last year via Suicide Squeeze Records, Californian punk trio L.A. Witch are sharing a new video for their standout track 'Motorcycle Boy'. Speaking about the video, L.A. Witch singer and guitarist Sade Sanchez said "The song is inspired by Moto Boys like Mickey Rourke, Marlon Brando, and Steve McQueen, so of course we took a lot of inspiration from our favorite biker movies like The Wild One, Rumble Fish, On any Sunday, Easy Rider, Hells Angeles '69 and The Girl on a Motorcycle. I had worked with (director) Ambar Navarro and Max on another project and loved their other work, so we wanted to work with them on this. They definitely did their homework and came up with a cool story line. I got to feature my bike that I'd been rebuilding during the pandemic. It was nice to shoot a video where you get to do two of your favorite things, riding motorcycles and play guitar."

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Margo Price has shared a new music video for 'Hey Child', said to be the heart and “centerpiece” of her acclaimed 2020 album That’s How Rumors Get Started. It’s directed by Kimberly Stuckwisch. In the moving visual, the country star confronts the demons of her past. There are scenes referencing the time she spent in jail for substance abuse, as well as others depicting her struggles with addiction and depression. Price’s vulnerability is on full display here, and she ultimately uses it to heal and find strength again. Watch it down below. According to Price, 'Hey Child' was originally written back in 2012 “not long after my husband Jeremy and I lost our son Ezra.” She continued, noting how fellow country star and album producer Sturgill Simpson helped encourage her to release it: “'Hey Child' was a song that was written back in 2012 not long after my husband Jeremy and I lost our son Ezra. We were playing shows with our rock and roll band Buffalo Clover and occupying most of the bars in East Nashville. We had begun hanging with a rowdy group of degenerate musician friends and partying harder than The Rolling Stones…The song was about how many of our talented friends were drinking and partying their talents away but after a few years had passed, we realized it was just as much about us as our friends. I had retired it when the band broke up but Sturgill Simpson resurrected it when he asked me if I would re-record it for That’s How Rumors Get Started.” [via Consequence of Sound]

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NYC collective MICHELLE has today unveiled their first new single of 2021. Titled 'FYO,' the track powerfully recounts the four lead singers’ experiences growing up with mixed race identities. The track arrives alongside a music video directed by the band’s own Layla Ku and Emma Lee. Speaking on the message behind the song, Jamee Lockard from the band shares: “'FYO' is about belonging to different worlds but feeling rejected by both. Growing up as a mixed-race minority in the US, my self concept was warped by other people telling me what I am and am not, pushing and pulling me between identities. Although my feelings of cultural dissonance still ebb and flow, now I have the vocabulary, support system, and perspective to unpack that inner conflict on my own terms. We should never give others the authority to define who we are."

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With her new album Homecoming set for release on April 2 via Daemon T.V., Du Blonde is sharing the video for ‘Medicated’. Featuring Garbage’s Shirley Manson, Du Blonde says of the song, “‘Medicated’ is a letter to my 27 year old self who didn’t want to live anymore, from my now medicated, functioning and content self. It might sound depressing or concerning, but really it’s quite joyful. Like ‘look at how things can be if you hang around’. Shirley and I had talked about her adding vocals to a track and when I wrote Medicated it seemed like the perfect fit. She’s been a voice of reason for me many times when i’ve been struggling and it felt really appropriate to have her. I shot the video in my childhood bedroom using a green screen Girl Ray gave me at the start of lockdown,” she continues. “The spiders are a reference to a hallucination I had in my early teens where I pulled back my bed covers to see thousands of spiders writhing around in my bed, which now I see as a result of extreme anxiety. A lot of the scenarios in the video are a celebration of the things about me that I feel people might feel shame about. There’s so much stigma around taking medication in order to ease mental health conditions, so I wanted to express my feelings on the subject which is basically ‘I take medication and i’m stoked about it because thanks to that i’m still alive’.” [via DIY]

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Back with her powerful Y2K sound, Spain's Rakky Ripper channels PC Music and Rina Sawayama on brightly catchy new single 'Whatever'. The new EP Xtra Cost is released February 19. If you are over the age of 25, odds are that you can recall a very specific kind of pop that graced our launch into the new millennium. Since coined as "Y2K", chart music of that short era was flush with R&B beats, synthetic arrangements and sickly sweet hooks. Britney was the industry’s honey-highlighted princess whilst Christina made it dirrty. It’s something that Rina Sawayama has made 2020-relevant again with the release of her debut album Sawayama, whilst PC Music and Charli XCX took it to another extreme with the redefinition of what it means to be pop. Meanwhile, over in Spain, the alt-pop scene is flourishing courtesy of artists such as Rakky Ripper and her own unique blend of Y2K-meets-hyper-pop. Already gaining Charli XCX approval when the Mercury Award nominee asked Rakky to join her onstage at her Madrid show, the Granada talent shows crossover potential with her new single 'Whatever'. Punchy beats and playful synths capture the sticky heat of pop done well whilst its fuzzy guitar gives it an alternative edge, however it’s its hook-riddled chorus and Rakky’s Spanglish lyrical mix that make 'Whatever' a standout moment. “‘Whatever’ is the pop girl in my new EP Xtra Cost,” shares Rakky of her new release. “It’s my 2021 version of Britney, *NSYNC and the Spice Girls. The new video tells the story about two people who are in love but one of them pretends not to care, so the other person is always chasing.” [via Line Of Best Fit]

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Things are afoot in the FKA twigs camp. In October, the R&B star revealed that her third album had been completed during quarantine. Now, she’s back with a new song called 'Don’t Judge Me'. It's her first since dropping the masterful album MAGDALENE in 2019. In addition to a stunning performance from FKA twigs, the track features UK rapper Headie One and producer Fred again…, who’s worked with the likes of Ed Sheeran and Brian Eno. 'Don’t Judge Me' appears to be something of a companion release or sequel to 'Don’t Judge Me (Interlude)', an early 2020 collaboration that also featured all three artists. Unlike the intentional vagueness of that song, the themes on this version are a lot more direct. During her verse and the hook, twigs begs her lover to hold her and appreciate the “precious love” she sends their way with a devastating urgency. Headie One takes a different approach in his verse and goes off about racial injustice and police brutality. “Know more about my people from the streets than from my teachers/ I done a million speeches/ No justice, no peace, ’cause we in pieces/ Officer, am I allowed to breathe here?,” he raps with a conversational directness. It’s a really powerful pairing from two different yet complementary artists with voices that demand the listener’s full attention. Check it out above via a dazzling video co-directed by FKA twigs and Emmanuel Adjei, who was heavily involved in Beyonce’s Black Is King visual album. Like all of FKA twigs’ clips, this one is truly something to behold. [via Consequence of Sound]

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Girl Friday have delivered a surrealistic visual for 'Earthquake,' the powerhouse lead single from Androgynous Mary, their acclaimed album of 2020 out now on Hardly Art. 'Earthquake' is one of the band's most gloriously raging moments and sees the group power through three and a half minutes of unadulterated catharsis. Girl Friday’s Vera Ellen, who directed the new video, offers this, “The greatest love story is between a song and a video. I wanted to deconstruct the creative process. How do ideas find each other? What happens when the artist lets outside forces get in the way of an idea? How is an idea affected by us, the audience and our expectations? What does an idea have to do to become it’s complete, purest, self. Beyond anything, it’s a story of fighting for true liberation. This will look different for everyone but I hope people can project their own struggle onto the story, and relish in the freedom experienced by the characters (if only for a moment)."

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J-Pop girl-group, FAKY has released their first single of 2021, 'The Light' with an accompanying music video. This song was selected as a campaign song for the horror film Jukaimura (Suicide Forest Village), the most recent work by the master horror director, Takashi Shimizu, who also directed The Ju-on (The Grudge) and Inunakimura (Howling Village). This up-tempo and cheerful track was created to add another layer of eerieness and uncertainty to the hair-raising storyline and themes of the movie. 2020 was a successful year for the girl group. FAKY hopes to further their success in 2021 starting with the release of 'The Light'. “Our new single ‘The Light’ is an uplifting song with its pop melody, powerful live band sound, and motivating message to move forward towards the light” - FAKY. The music was composed by up-and-coming music producer, Maeshima Soshi (Hypnosis Mic, Hey! Say! JUMP, Rinne and Sorane). 'The Light' expresses that moment when your heart quivers, just when you are about to change, with the theme being about overcoming conflict and having “power to strike out into the world.”

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Kinlaw's dark-pop quest has seen her shatter boundaries. Snapped up by Bayonet Records, her piercing, roving eye deconstructs her personal feelings, illuminating electronic structures in their stead. New album The Tipping Scale is out this month, and it expertly reflects the vagaries of winter, the spartan landscapes and the self-examination. Taken from the record, new single 'Haircut' deals with shifts in her life, with the urge to propel herself into something fresh. "I cut my hair to confuse myself," she comments. "It started as a mission to change who I was, to make a new and better version, but ended with my feeling like I no longer knew what I was mourning." A song about leaving trauma behind and embracing the possibilities of the present, 'Haircut' carries some inspired connotations for these troubled times. Kinlaw says the single offers "a question of personal power, and even speaking on this song today has been challenging because it was written when I was unsure if I had any power left. I think 'Haircut' can be a lot of things to many different people, particularly those who identify with the juxtaposition of in-depth, internal dialogue paired with everyday coping strategies. There is a sweetness to it, but also such substantial, unwavering difficulty. Today, I prefer to think of 'Haircut' as an anthem of resilience and an ode to the ways we keep going, we shapeshift, and we reinstall that there is a way to find what it is we are hoping to find." The visual leans on the intimate, opening up a window into Kinlaw's life, and her true feelings. [via Clash]

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The Rhode Island born, Los Angeles based singer, songwriter, musician and actress Emeline is known for her work with Thievery Corporation's Rob Garza as well as her solo music full of biting lyrics and catchy hooks. Her new music video for '6 Foot Deep' was filmed at the infamous Westerfeld Mansion a.k.a “House of Legends.” Icons like Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin have lived there, as well as the founder of the Church of Satan. Covered in satanic etchings and scratches from his pet lions, the energy within the house added to the feel of the music video. Also previously used for the Russian Embassy, the house has featured on "Ghost Hunters" for it's haunted happenings.

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The Charli XCX-crafted Nasty Cherry have returned with their first single of the year, 'Lucky'. The new track follows last year's Season 2 EP, and arrives as first taster of a new EP landing this spring. The band say of their new single, "'Lucky' is a song we wrote for each other during the pandemic where the six weeks we got to spend together felt incredibly precious and introspective. It's a reflective, sweet and spiky little song." [via Line Of Best Fit]

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Griff has premiered the video for her incredible new single ‘Black Hole’. Launched as Annie Mac’s Hottest Record in the World last week, the striking new visual sees Griff examine a past relationship through a surreal, Alice in Wonderland’-esque journey from the sewing room into self-discovery (directed by duo SOB). [via With Guitars]

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Poppy Ajudha has shared her new single 'Weakness' in full. The London based artist blends together jazz, soul, R&B, and a whole lot more besides, resulting in a sound that is truly her own. 'Weakness' is a song about love, and it finds Poppy capturing that nuanced dichotomy between the rush of pleasure and an innate fear of being out of control. In a note, Poppy explains that her new single is "about feeling out of control and at the mercy of someone else because of how crazy they make you feel, but also feeling bittersweet about it, because you’re a bad b*tch and you don’t have time for that ish." The songwriter steered the video, too, a self-admitted "control freak" who oversaw the neat mixture of animation and a superbly styled set. "Self-directing was really fun," she comments. "I’m a control freak so it was great to get stuck into all the facets of making a music video. Choosing the team, the makeup looks, directing the styling ideas, writing the narrative, working out how to build the set. It definitely felt like a challenge to direct, star-in and perform choreographed moves for the first time but I love to push myself and am really glad I did." [via Clash]

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GG McG’s latest single, ‘Good Morning’, is her first release this year and second overall, following ‘Boom’ in 2019. The song was written on GarageBand during lockdown and was produced by Japanese Wallpaper’s Gab Strum, mixed by Konstantin Kersting and mastered by Andrei Eremin. “‘Good Morning’ is about the total, complete chaos of the past year and the feeling of waking up every morning, reading the news and being blown away by just how much worse things were than the day before,” McGauran said in a statement. [via the Music Network]

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Singer HyunA dropped her seventh mini album I’m Not Cool on Thursday, singing of the ups and downs of being the “cool girl” on stage. The album’s title song 'I’m Not Cool' sings about the nice things she tells herself. “It’s really about my originality. I try to compliment myself before going onto the stage. I tell myself it’s not bad to be myself. I’ve long dreamed of this moment right now, and I feel like I’m a bird flying freely in the sky or a flower blooming in the field. I know I cannot be loved by everyone, but I become perfect with just one person’s love. The song is about these kind of every day thoughts.” Donned in exotic outfits and flashy makeup, HyunA said she “became a snake” in the song that sings “No one’s as intense as I am, like salmosa. I tried to show as much of myself as I could in the music video. I wanted to show how intense the ‘not cool’ HyunA could become when fully set,” she added. The creativity behind the title track comes from the unique minds of herself, singer and the founder of her agency P Nation Psy, and her best colleague and boyfriend Dawn. “We worked on the song while just chatting about it endlessly with each other,” HyunA said. “When Psy threw in a big catchy chunk, Dawn would creatively unfold this, adding fun elements to make it fit my style and state of mind. I personally like writing those rebellious lines. Mingling these three minds together, every day, was just so much fun.” [via The Korea Herald]

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THYLA are sharing their first new music of 2021, with new single 'Breathe', a track that the band confirm will appear on their long-awaited debut album, set for release later this year. Putting 2020 firmly in the rear-view mirror, the Thyla ethos of putting one foot in front of the other serves them well as they look toward what a long-awaited debut album might sound like. As self-confessed underdogs they've developed an attitude that aims at turning the possible into the inevitable, and with the hypnotic 'Breathe' they reach for reflective, melancholy sounds to accompany what is a time of intense loneliness for many. It is a theme that has been creeping into Thyla's music for some time, and 'Breathe' sees them further explore the idea that, in a world more connected than ever, we are paradoxically more shut off as individuals. 'Breathe' shows yet again that even at their subtlest, Thyla are capable of carving out an impassioned pop world full of the intricacies of our much-missed IRL interactions. Lead singer Millie Duthie offers these thoughts on the track: "'Breathe' was written in the early hours of the morning. Eventually we chanced upon this really vibey atmospheric lick that you hear in the intro, and the whole song grew from there. The song blossomed into a slightly melancholic dream-pop bop, it’s bittersweet and has a slightly inconclusive feeling to it; imagine a film where the main character never actually gets the happy ending you’ve been so long yearning for. The result of how the instrumental sounded no doubt manifested lyrics that held the same sentiment. The song is about loneliness, estrangement from family and close friends, yet despite this, feeling a sense of inner strength about the situation. It’s like recovering from a breakup and realising you’ve come out stronger, but a reflection of the scar tissue that resulted from the trauma."

#videos of the week #l.a. witch #margo price #michelle #du blonde #rakky ripper #fka twigs #girl friday #faky #kinlaw #emeline #nasty cherry #griff #poppy ajudha #gg mcg #hyuna #thyla

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hollenka99 · 4 years ago

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Now That I’ve Played SoulScape...

This will be a spoiler review so please don't read this if you plan on playing the game yourself. Will naturally also contain spoilers for SeptiScape too so the same goes for that game as well.

General Comments

(This was originally all bulletpointed but I decided it was easier to read as paragraphs instead)

It's so good to see the -Scape (Scapeverse?) boys again. It's been over 2 years so their face design looks slightly different but that's expected when it comes to continual development as an artist. My favourite new looks are Chase, Marvin and Nega.

Also voice acting???? Hell yeah! Marvin’s expressions give me the kind of vibe that they were inspired by cat memes and his voice acting seems perfect for him.

I was just wandering around the woods, exploring the area, when Angus makes a pun involving loss. It took me by surprise and I spent a full 10 seconds being super confused by this seemingly random comment before noticing the trees. Then I just wanted to flip my laptop. I can't remember if it was Dev Ritchy or Dev Blake who claimed responsibility but I want you to know I was glaring at my screen for a minute because of what you did. Have been lowkey wondering whether Lucky Luciano was there since this happened last night.

Straight up melted when Bing saw Angus in his true appearance and they started calling each other sunflower and angel etc. Their reunion during the good end and any/all interactions they have in this game send me every time.

I spent so long just wandering around Attitude City. Mostly because I was too dumb to realise the cliffs were to the side and you could get the bus to the skating rink. At least I got to explore the place thoroughly.

Loved seeing some characters from SPG making cameos. I saw Mack’s sprite and went “Surely not... oh my god it is!”. The dialogue with Billy where he makes references to chapter 1 of GITS were brilliant.

The only issue I had was in the church because for some reason it was super laggy and quite difficult to do anything in that room. But that it is just one small area that slightly dampened the experience. Everything else in the game ran smoothly.

Chad just showing up and being like "Well... how about I let someone of your exact description have all this weed of the dankest degree for free." was iconic.

Fuck Stacy. That's all I'm going to say. But it does go to show that men aren't the only ones who are capable of being abusers and thank you for showing that.

I had to take a moment when Jackie told his younger self that they were braver and stronger than they gave themselves credit for.

I am so glad Marvin has a friend like Beau who had his back while he was being taken advantage of. The world needs more Beaus.

I loved the art on Beau's cards. If it’s mentioned in the credits, sorry because I think I may have missed it but kudos to whoever designed those cards.

I could watch that empty room all day. I'm sure there might have been an easter egg if you chose to stay in the room multiple times but I didn't pursue it. Didn't even see Angus show up because I was anticipating a mild jumpscare from [OMITTED] so my hands were covering my face.

Not entirely sure what the cause of Emma's death is. When Henrik said he blamed himself, I originally thought he might have made the fatal mistake of letting a baby sleep in his bed. But I doubt Henrik would do something that dangerous, especially since he has a background in medicine. It's more likely to be an unfortunate case of cot death/SIDS, which just makes it sadder because sometimes that stuff can simply Happen and nobody is to blame, least of all the new father who simply left his daughter alone for a short while to get some sleep.

Bing's boss battle was so tough, I swear. He kept doing that attack where multiple people suffered a fair bit of damage. I lost to him once because I did not stock up properly. Classic case of not having enough BB when shops were available then not having access to shops when I did have enough BB to buy a bunch of white choc cookies and Jameson. 2nd time lucky though.

I found burn damage is your best friend with bosses. Now I will forever swear by this method whenever I replay this game.

I managed it on my first try but man, the fight between Anti and Angus was rough too. I couldn't get Angus' code manipulation trick to work with Anti so no burns to help me this time. Plus, the guy kept freezing time and healing himself like wow, who'd be mean enough to replenish their HP mid-fight. Anyway, it ended up being a case of them continually hitting each other with occasional misses and me feeding Angus cookies whenever his HP grew yellow.

When it came to the scene where Anti gets his souls back, I honestly thought Angus would give up his chance of feeling whole with nothing to fall back on because of the card Beau showed us where someone falls off a tower. I'm really glad Angus got to have a good ending too. Both he and Anti deserve to be whole and happy.

BAD END SEAN BAD END SEAN BAD END SEAN

No but seriously, I think it's really cool that both of the SeptiScape endings are canon. I have no clue who the shadow person could be but I am hyped to eventually find out.

I can't wait for EndScape to be released and we have literally only gotten SoulScape in the past 24 hours.

Angus and Anti

Thought these two deserved their own section since the game largely revolves around them and their conflict of wanting to exist but needing Posi and Nega to do so.

That first bit with Anti's horror world creeped me the hell out. It was after 10pm, maybe around 11 even. My room was completely dark except for my screen. I was so tense the whole time I walked around, incredibly wary throughout that section. I was living when Anti confronted Angus once you caught up to him. And when Angus went to find him in the woods near the campsite? My mind kept yelling 'ThisisbadThisisbadThisisbad' as we approached.

After that first bit, I looked forward to any Anti section because I love his character. He was completely justified in his motivations. I mean, Angus admits to stealing Nega as soon as he returns to his house with Sean after their fight in the first game. If anything, I'm surprised it takes him as long as it does for him to realise [OMITTED] is the true Anti.

I really liked the truth that it hadn't just been Anti that Angus affected when he grabbed Nega. There was also Henry and that universe's Bing, among others presumably. They all deserved a happy ending and it looks like they're getting it after all these years. I think it was very sweet that they threw Anti a birthday party as an epilogue.

Oh also, seeing the dynamic between Angus, Posi and Nega was really cool. They've obviously grown close to each other in the year that's passed since the events of SeptiScape. The souls admitting they felt returning to Anti was the right thing to do was the perfect kind of gut punch. You know deep down that they're right and Anti does indeed need them but at the same time you're going "Wait no, you can't leave Angus!"

All in all, I think the whole story arc concerning Anti and Angus was really well written. You want to dislike Anti because he's the antagonist to Angus' protagonist, an aggressive one at that. But you can't help siding with both of them.

Either way, I already said it this morning when I'd just finished the game about 15 minutes before but well done. You did yet another great job with this one. SeptiScape is one of my favourite games in general, I can tell I'll be replaying SoulScape several times like I have with the first game and I have no doubt I'll be here in 2-3 years gushing about EndScape just like I am right now.

Once again, thank you for creating these games. Now go grab a slice of cake, watch your favourite movie, put an album you love on blast... whatever it is that you do to treat yourself. You've all earned it.

#soulscape #power of friends games #soulscape spoilers #septiscape spoilers #probably missed a bunch of stuff but this is mostly what came to my head this morning once I finished #I am moving up north on Tuesday but I swear I will try write a couple fics this week #I was at church today and in Many Thoughts Head Full mode because of the game

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spartanguard · 5 years ago

Text

to trust someone else

Summary: Emma's wondering if maybe she judged Hook too quickly when the man himself stumbles out of the forest—bleeding profusely. “I...I didn't know where else to go,” he murmurs. She has to decide if she'll trust in him, or continue to write him off as nothing but a villain. (Canon-divergent from 2x08)

rated T | 3.6k | AO3

A/N: Here’s my contribution to @csseptembersunshine!! Thanks to the organizers of this event for putting it on!! This story was inspired by this tumblr post, but watered down a bit to hopefully avoid triggers. It’s still fairly whumpy though. Title comes from “Trust” by Christina Perri.

Despite the heat of the fire, Emma shivered; she still wasn’t used to the noise—or better yet, lack thereof—of the forest. The Enchanted Forest. She shook her head; seriously, who had named this place? Even once she’d finally believed in it, she had to admit that it was contrite.

Anyways. It was too quiet—no cars, no people. While that might be a blessing—that she’d be able to hear any intruders immediately—it also meant that there was little else to fill the time but her own thoughts, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to be left with them at the moment.

What Aurora said was haunting her: “I think he may have feelings for you.” There was still something odd about the princess’s sudden reappearance, and odder still that it was Hook, of all people, who let her go.

Maybe she was right; maybe Emma should have trusted him. But aside from Henry and maybe her da—David, there weren’t a whole lot of guys she was ready to do that with.

Over the crackle of the fire and the gentle snoring of her companions, her last interaction with Hook played in her head.

“Have I told you a lie?” His voice had been shaking—with rage or shock, she couldn't tell.

“I can’t take a chance that I’m wrong about you,” she told him, trying to rationalize what was easily a dick move on her part. But he was a pirate, wasn’t he? Surely, he’d committed his fair share of those.

Or maybe there really had been something there? He wasn’t entirely wrong when he’d suggested they made a good team, and it was unnerving how easily he seemed to read and understand her—more than anyone had since Neal. She still didn’t know why she was so scared when that pile of rocks fell on him, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to analyze why.

But maybe that had something to do with the pang of remorse she felt when she turned her back on him and the utter betrayal in the way he was shouting her name.

Was it too late to go back? Find him wherever he was hiding and team up?

Or was it just another ruse by him and Cora?

Odds were good on both.

Thankfully, she couldn’t dwell on it any longer because there was finally some noise—even if the sound of someone stumbling through the forest wasn’t the most welcome of interruptions. If it was another one of those zombie things, she was never going to watch The Walking Dead again.

As silently as she could manage—grace was never her strong suit, but she managed it well enough—she stood, grabbed Mulan's sword, and held it aloft, ready to decapitate whatever was coming towards them.

The body lumbered into their tiny clearing, unsteady on its feet. Emma tightened her grip.

But then it collapsed at her feet, a lanky pile of dark leather and mussed hair who coughed a bit and then rolled onto its back.

“Hook?” she whisper-yelled.

“Hey, beautiful,” he wheezed with an attempt at a flirty smile, then grimaced and curled into the hand that was pressed to his chest.

She really hoped her eyes were playing tricks on her. Because in the glow of the firelight, it looked like his hand was covered in blood.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He took a deep breath, but then winced again. “I...I didn't know where else to go,” he murmured, then let his hand fall away from his chest.

Emma gasped at the sight: his shirt was pulled away, revealing even more of his chest than normal, but his skin was indeed covered with his own blood, seeping from a handful of puncture wounds around his heart. He’d clearly lost a lot of blood and was struggling to breathe and keep eye contact.

She dropped to the ground next to him. “What—what happened?”

“Cora,” he spat. “Who else?”

“Was she trying to take your heart?” Admittedly, Emma didn't quite know how that whole thing worked.

He snorted—at least, she thought he did; it could have been another cough. “No; she's not that merciful. Thought it'd be more fun to watch me bleed out, apparently.”

“Jesus,” Emma cursed, trying to inspect the damage in the dim light, but also not wanting to touch him and make anything worse. “Why?”

“Help me tend this and I’ll tell you.”

Oh, right—he was bleeding. Fuck, this was not covered in her high school first aid class. “I don't know—what—”

“Get pressure on it, please; I can’t—I’m too—”

“Got it.” She still had his scarf wrapped around her hand, but that cut was mostly healed. So she quickly unwrapped it, folded it, and placed it over the wounds. Gently, but firmly, she pressed down.

He bit back a cry, and she thought she saw a tear at the corner of his eye, but then he exhaled. “Thank you, love. That helps.”

“Okay. Now tell me what happened.”

------------------------------------

Cora strode into the cave with confidence, not casting a glance in his direction—but her expression quickly faded to confusion when she realized her prisoner was gone.

“Looking for someone?” Hook asked, turning up the charm as he stepped from the shadows.

Cora was momentarily taken aback, but then scoffed. “Don't tell me you were dumb enough to let her go.”

He sauntered forward. “She was never going to give you what you wanted, anyway.” But now, he could—and work his way back into Cora’s good graces at the same time.

“So you freed her. And stuck around for the petty satisfaction of seeing me suffer.”

In any other situation, that would have been the case; there were plenty of people he’d likely do that with—particularly the Crocodile. But he’d have to play nice with Cora if he ever wanted to reach that goal. “Watching you is a tempting motivation, but it wasn't that.”

“Well then, you must have a death wish.” Suddenly, he was flying backwards, slamming into the stone wall of the cave; that was definitely going to leave him a headache. When he’d shaken the stars from his vision, he realized she’d manipulated the rock into cuffs around his wrists, both restraining him and holding him upright. He struggled against them, but there were no fissures or weak spots; it wouldn't give. Then she was in front of him, unlocking his hook from his brace, and pressing the tip of it against his chest. “You know I have to kill you,” she purred.

Oh, if only she knew. “You should try thanking me.”

That took her by surprise. “Oh, really? Why is that?” But she still had steel pressed against his skin and was dragging it over where his heart was rapidly beating.

He didn’t make it this far by cowering to intimidation, though. “Because I brought you a gift. It's in the satchel,” he explained as casually as he could, nodding down at the bag slung across his body.

“What is it?” she demanded. He had her interest.

“Customarily, surprise is part of the fun of gift giving. Open it.”

She tugged it off, ripping the weak leather strap, and opened the pouch. Her expression morphed from confusion to disbelief. “Is that...?”

He nodded. “Indeed, it is. And with it you'll get everything you want.”

------------------------------------

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Emma nearly yelled. “You took her fucking heart?”

“Aye,” he replied, but in a tone that implied he was at least slightly remorseful for it. “So if you could keep it down and not wake the sleeping beauty, lest Cora know I’m here, I’d appreciate it.”

“Why should I help you after you did that?”

“Because I want to help you get it back and get home. You’re the only person I trust in this bloody realm.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe you have a tendency to burn bridges and that’s why you have so many enemies?”

“Oh, and you haven't done anything similar lately, have you?”

Emma was silent at that; she couldn't exactly refute it, especially to him. “Yeah, but the more you talk, the more I’m confident in my decision.”

“Then let me finish.”

“Fine.”

------------------------------------

“It was Hook. He let me go.” There was an odd novelty to watching Cora pretend to mimic the princess’s voice as she dictated through her heart. It wasn’t the most convincing thing, if he was being honest, but he’d certainly seen worse.

He wasn’t close enough to the heart to hear what was happening on the other end of the conversation, chained as he still was to the wall, but given that Cora was calm, he had to assume they were buying it.

“Because of you,” Cora said. “He said he wanted to prove to you that you should have trusted him. That if you had trusted him…” Cora smirked and threw a glance his way. “...you could have defeated Cora together. That the two of you could have gotten the remains of the wardrobe. Without him, you'll have to go up against her all by yourself. He only wants to help. I...I think he might care for you.”

That wasn’t entirely untrue, honestly. Emma had impressed him right away with her tenacity and intolerance to his bullshit; very few had seen through him so easily and it was oddly refreshing to not have to put up a front with someone. Her subsequent betrayal stung more that he was willing to let on—just another reminder of why he closed himself off.

But he couldn’t let Cora know she was right. So he settled with a casual, “Nice touch, that.”

She dropped her arm that held the heart and turned back to him. “You know, she won't trust you.”

He was already well aware of that. “She doesn't have to. All I need is her to believe that I was genuine letting the girl go. Which, in a way, she does now. You're welcome.”

She pocketed the heart and came closer, then pulled his hook back from the other side of her skirts, where she’d stashed it earlier. He couldn't tell, though, if she meant to give it back or not.

Fine, then, He could start things. “Now, can we go on with the business going to Storybrooke? Together?” He attempted to lean forward, but the restraints held fast.

“Alas, I’m afraid I still can’t do that, Hook.”

His heart fell into his stomach. “Why the bloody hell not?”

“You think this proved anything?” she countered. “All it did was show me you’re a good lap dog to whoever will give you the most. Tell me truthfully: were you actually going to team up with her and leave me behind?”

“No,” he answered, but even he didn't believe his lie. He had been honest when he told them they were better—and safer—company; the present situation was proof enough.

She got closer and started swinging his hook on her finger, and he was noting the gleam of malice in her dark eyes.

“There's no room for error, here, Hook, and I'm afraid you’ve committed one too many now. And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a bootlicker.”

Rage ran through his veins. “That's what you think I am? A kiss-arse?”

“Something along those lines. It’s pathetic, really.”

“I’ll show you pathetic,” he snarled, trying again to spring free but the binds held firm. Those words may have described him once, but that was a lifetime ago.

Cora just laughed at him. “Tell you what: how about I just put you out of your misery now and save you the embarrassment?”

“What?”

Before he could think further, sharp pain erupted in his chest. She’d stabbed him—with his own hook. Briefly, she twisted it in his flesh, drawing an involuntary yell, before yanking it out; immediately, he felt blood seeping from the fresh wound.

Then she did it again. And again. And again, twice more, in a circle above his heart, cutting deeper each time into the muscle of his chest and extracting deeper screams and more blood with every one. He tried to slump to the floor, to relieve any of the pain, but the stone cuffs wouldn’t let him.

“Please,” he panted. “If you want to kill me, just crush my heart.” He’d asked for that once and been denied; maybe this time would be different.

“But where's the fun in that? You’ll bleed out so much slower this way.”

“Witch,” he cursed.

“Yes, that’s accurate,” she agreed. “But they don't call me the Queen of Hearts for nothing. Each of these stab points is just outside the heart—not enough to kill you outright, but able to draw the most pain.”

She stabbed him once more, right above the heart—not as deep, but she dragged this one a bit. “And they do bleed an awful lot.”

With a wave of her hand, the restraints finally disappeared, and he fell to the floor in a graceless heap. She tossed his hook on the ground, where it landed a few feet away.

“Well, it's been nice knowing you. Sorry about the revenge thing, but surely you understand where I'm coming from.”

The sad thing was: he did. He wouldn't let her have the last word. “I hope you fail,” he panted out, even though every word sent a searing pain through his chest. “I hope they manage to get the better of you and you never see your daughter again.”

“Unlikely,” she answered. “See you in the Underworld someday.” Then she disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

He gave himself one long moment to dwell on the pain, which got worse with each heartbeat. He placed his hand on his chest and his fingers came back dripping red.

He had two options here: let death come, which would be easiest, but certainly the least fulfilling. Or.

Or.

He could seek out the band of princesses and pray they'd take pity on him. Emma would believe him—she’d know right away if he was lying, and despite what she might believe, he’d been truthful with her thus far. But that was the only way he could think of to survive this, and his only chance now of getting his revenge.

It took far more effort than he cared to expend, but after a few staggering tries, he was upright, leaning on a wall and panting with his hand clinging to his chest, pressing on it as much as he could to staunch the flow. “Here goes nothing,” he said to himself as he took a step forward, then another, and kept going until he was out in the dusky forest.

------------------------------------

“And here I am now,” he breathed, but his breaths were getting more and more labored.

“Why should I believe any of that?” Emma asked, pressing just a bit harder on his wounds. What kind of fool did he take her for? How did she know he didn't stab himself?

“Am I lying?” he asked, his voice getting weaker.

She wanted to confirm that he was, but nowhere in that tall tale had her bullshit detector gone off. Dammit. “No,” she conceded.

“I promise, I want to help.”

She swallowed. “So you were telling the truth when you said that to Aurora?”

His brow furrowed. “I wasn't then, but I am now.”

Still true.

“Please, Swan; help me here, and I promise I'll do everything I can to get you back to your boy.”

Even in the shadows, she could see the sincerity in his blue eyes. And really, it was her fault Cora did this in the first place; the least she could do was make sure he didn’t die.

“Okay,” she said with a nod.

He gave her half a smile, but that was the most he seemed to be able to muster. And then he winced again, but he also gave a low groan.

“Alright, what do we need to do?”

“He needs stitches.” Emma nearly jumped; Mary Margaret was standing over her shoulder, looking down on both of them.

“Oh my god, how long have you been there?”

“Long enough,” she answered, then knelt next to them. “We need to clean and disinfect the wounds, then stitch them up. I should have a needle somewhere, but I'm low on thread, unless you're okay with powder blue, Hook.”

“Sounds lovely, milady,” he answered, oddly politely.

“Okay. I’ll get that; not sure how we can disinfect it, though.”

Emma winced at her own memory, but she knew what they had to do. “He’s got rum.”

“That'll have to work.”

Hook groaned, but she wasn't sure it was in general, or at what was about to come.

Mary Margaret ran to her bag quietly to get supplies, and Emma turned her attention back to Hook. “Where's your flask?”

His hand began searching, eventually pulling it out of a hidden pocket in his vest. “I suppose this will be payback, eh?”

“I guess.” She uncorked the flask—with her hand, even though the memory of him using his mouth was something she wouldn’t admit to finding attractive—and pulled back her other hand from his chest. His blood had soaked through the scarf and was definitely all over her palm, but she had to set it aside and pushed back his shirt the rest of the way, fully exposing that half of his (very nice) chest. “Okay; think you can keep the volume down?”

He gave a curt nod. “I’ll try.”

She took a deep breath and then, before she could think about it any longer, poured. His entire face clenched in pain, but he didn't let out any more than a high-pitched whimper as she sanitized the area. She didn’t miss the tears now running down his cheeks, but she wouldn’t say a thing about it. She definitely knew a thing or two about dealing with pain on your own.

She found a clean corner of the blood-soaked rag and managed to get the punctures as clear as possible just as her mother was threading the needle. “Yeah, those are deep,” Mary Margaret said. “This may take a bit. Don’t pass out on me, Hook.”

“I’ll try.”

He was pretty brave as the needle first went in. But it became obvious that he was putting on a brave face as they continued on. His hand was in a fist so tight that she could see the white of his knuckles even in the dark.

She’d been there—she totally had, especially when she’d given birth to Henry. She’d had a death grip on the edge of the hospital bed and would have given anything for a hand to hold.

Even if that was a significantly more painful experience, and surely Hook had dealt with worse when he lost his hand, it still wasn't a pain she’d wish on anything. So she placed her hand on top of his fist, working her fingers into his grip until he loosened it enough for them to slip in.

Once he realized what she was doing, his gaze darted up to hers—definitely in surprise. She gave him a small smile back and squeezed his hand.

His face relaxed and he gave a light squeeze back.

It didn't take very long for Mary Margaret to get him stitched up; Emma expected it to take all night, but clearly, her mother had first aid experience beyond whatever was required of an elementary school teacher. But that—and all of her mother's survival skills—were a conversation for another day.

“That should do it,” she said softly, gently patting the last suture. “Thanks for being a good patient.”

“Are you a healer or something in this other realm?” he asked, clearly feeling a bit better now that he wasn’t losing blood.

“Nope. I learned all that here. Now get some rest. You too, Emma.”

Emma was going to protest, but a yawn betrayed her. “You've got next watch?”

“I'm on it. And I'll try to head the other two off in the morning.”

Oh, thank God; Emma did not want to be the one to explain this recent change in allegiances—or the present location of Aurora’s heart; hopefully her mother also knew diplomatic ways to hold off an assasination attempt by Mulan.

“Sleep tight,” Mary Margaret said as she stood, then bent down to place a kiss on Emma’s head. The warmth she felt from it was foreign, but also something shed craved her entire life.

But, as Mary Margaret walked away, Emma suddenly felt awkward now that it was just her and Hook. And she needed sleep.

“Okay, I’ll just hop over there—”

“Stay?” Hook interrupted, quietly and so innocently, a softness in his blue eyes she hadn't seen before.

Well, fuck. How could she say no to that?

“O-okay,” she said, nodding like a bobblehead, and shifted down to lay next to him. He still hadn’t let go of her hand. “Don't die tonight, alright?”

“I shouldn’t,” he said, sincerely.

“Good.”

She settled on her back, staring up at the unfamiliar stars through the trees.

“What, no good night kiss?” he teased; she could feel his eyes on her.

“Go to sleep,” she tossed back, but turned her head away from him so he couldn't see her smirk. It was probably a good sign that he was already back to his annoying flirtatious ways.

It didn't take long for his gentle snores to sound out. And as she too drifted off, all she could think was that, maybe someday, he’d get that kiss.

But first, they had to get home.

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thanks for reading! tagging some friends: @kat2609 @thesschesthair @optomisticgirl @xpumpkindumplingx @shipsxahoy @amortentia-on-the-rocks @mryddinwilt @cocohook38 @annytecture @wingedlioness @word-bug @distant-rose @wellhellotragic @welllpthisishappening @let-it-raines @pirateherokillian @bleebug @its-imperator-furiosa @fergus80 @killianmesmalls @sherlockianwhovian @effulgentcolors @laschatzi @ive-always-been-a-pirate @nfbagelperson @stubble-sandwich @killian-whump @lenfaz @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells @idristardis

#cs ff #cs september sunshine #cs canon divergence #ouat 2x08 #whump #my ff

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vexedtonightmares · 5 years ago

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with great power (elu spiderman au)

eliott has been saved by spiderman quite a few times for absolutely no reason. hopeless romantic that he is, eliott accidentally starts falling for spiderman somewhere along the way and doesn’t know what to do about it. obviously, there’s only one solution. he and his good friend lucas should pretend to date to make spiderman jealous. there’s no ulterior motives here, of course, just lucas helping a bro out.

aka eliott’s falling in love with spiderman, lucas is in love with eliott, and lucas is spiderman.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

ao3

no. 9 “You seem a little on edge.”

Lucas was giving Eliott the silent treatment, and even though grumpy Lucas was usually cute, this was just too much. If he had to see Lucas pouting or turned pointedly away from him for one more minute, he was going to explode.

They were at Daphné’s secret foyer party (Spiderman was notably absent, thankfully) and Eliott was determined to have fun, grumpy boyfriend aside. Yann kept pulling Lucas aside and talking to him fervently, but Eliott didn’t know what they were talking about. Lucas looked stubborn as ever, so Eliott knew Yann was never going to win whatever argument they were having. They’d both been stupid, the day before, and Eliott suspected Lucas’ silence had more to do with him knowing that fact than actually being mad, so Eliott just decided to give him some time.

He’d come back to school early in the morning to actually paint a mural, because he didn’t want to let Daphné down, and he’d decided on a simple Jackson Pollock inspired splatter paint mural with glow in the dark paint mixed in reading ‘infiltration’. It was a little bit of a risky move, but it would only be seen under blacklight, so the headmaster would probably never see the hidden message. If worse came to worst, he could paint over it as well.

Lucas looked beautiful (what else was new) in a fairly simple ensemble. The most he’d done, really, was paint two stripes on his cheeks, but they somehow accentuated his cheekbones in just the right way. It really was too bad they were both exceptionally stubborn. And petty, because Eliott had covered half his face with a mask that he knew Lucas would probably find alluring and sexy.

He felt a presence at his side and turned to see Arthur, watching him watch Lucas. “Can I help you with anything?” he asked.

“Me? No, no,” Arthur said, then nodded to Lucas and Yann. “What’s going on there, though?”

“Fuck if I know,” Eliott admitted with a sigh, pouring himself another cup of whatever mess of beverages had been provided by Emma.

“Trouble in paradise?” Arthur joked, but Eliott’s frown must have been too prominent for Arthur to not catch on to, because he sighed, placing a hand on Eliott’s shoulder. “If Lucas did something stupid, cut him a little slack. I know you probably know him better than I do, but he keeps a lot inside, you know? He thinks he has to be this person, put on a show, because he’s scared of people leaving him. I guarantee that whatever he did, it was borne of those insecurities, because we all have them, and we all have the worst way of showing them to people at times.”

Eliott raised his eyebrows. “How do you know all this?”

“I’m much more perceptive than people give me credit for,” Arthur said with a nonchalant shrug.

Eliott wasn’t entirely certain if he wanted to know the things Arthur knew about him, but he asked regardless, “And what if I’m the one that did something stupid?”

Arthur studied him. “You didn’t, at least initially, but the reason you guys are fighting is the reason you work so well together. You’re two halves of a whole idiot, and whatever dumb thing Lucas said or did, you rose to it, and you satisfied those insecurities of his without realizing it, because you have insecurities of your own, and your biggest one is your fear of being alone. Funny how similar you two are, actually, Lucas fears being left, and you fear never having anyone to begin with.”

“What the fuck, dude?” Eliott was a little creeped out by how accurate everything Arthur was saying was. Was it all that obvious to everyone, or did Arthur just pay a little bit more attention than most?

“I don’t know, man, I’m super high right now,” Arthur confided with a small giggle, “Baz and I were arguing about whether or not birds were real and I got a little too heated, so I figured you might need a nice Dr. Phil session. I can, like, feel your puppy dog eyes from across the room.”

“Birds aren’t real,” was all Eliott could think to respond to.

Arthur clapped his hands on both of Eliott’s shoulders, widening his eyes. “Thank you. That’s what I’m saying! Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? No, because they don’t exist. They’re government robots, originating in…”

Arthur rambled on about pigeons and conspiracies alike but Eliott started to tune him out when he accidentally met Lucas’ eye across the room. Lucas was still standing with Yann, but they weren’t arguing anymore, and he had a softer expression than he’d been carrying all night. The moment their eyes met it felt like electricity had zapped its way back into Eliott’s nervous system, waking him back up. He could tell Lucas felt it too, by the way his eyes changed in subtle, almost imperceptible, ways. Lucas looked like he was opening his mouth to say something, but then Baz crossed in front of Eliott’s field of vision, and by the time Lucas was in his view again, his eyes were trained on the floor.

“…and then they’ll target the hedgehogs, probably,” Arthur was saying, and Eliot tuned back in, honestly forgetting he’d been talking that whole time. “Oh my gosh, what if they go for Lucas? You always draw Lucas as a hedgehog and whatever, so if they go after hedgehogs, they’ll go after him, oh, Eliott, what are we going to do?”

Arthur looked on the verge of tears and Eliott did not want to be the one to handle stoned Arthur crying about robot hedgehogs controlled by the government, so he passed him off to Alexia, the nearest person he knew within range of his current position. He felt like she’d probably actually appreciate his ramblings, indulging him enough to find a solution to not turn Lucas into a government controlled robot.

When he’d finally extracted himself fully from Arthur’s hold, he turned around and ran right into Lucas.

“Hi,” he said dumbly, taking off his mask.

Lucas just looked up at him. Eliott really wanted to kiss him. Eliott really wanted them to stop fighting, if that was what they were doing. He couldn’t tell anymore, if he was being honest.

Lucas’ eyes glowed under the blacklight, more so than usual, especially with their close proximity. Eliott knew that he’d probably already committed those eyes to memory, staring into them more times than he could count, but they were so effervescent, so real, so Lucas, that he got lost in them every single time. And that included the times before he’d known he was in love with Lucas.

“You finished the mural,” Lucas said, glancing over Eliott’s shoulder. It had barely been a full day, but Eliott nearly exhaled in relief when he heard Lucas’ voice again. It was softer than he’d expected, which pretty much confirmed his suspicions.

Eliott turned to look at the mural, then at Lucas. “I did. It’s not exactly what I would have wanted, but…” he trailed off with a shrug.

The intensity in Lucas’ eyes burned into his. “And what would you have wanted?”

“You,” Eliott said, and Lucas blinked, eyelashes fluttering in apparent surprise. Eliott continued, “I just wish we could have done it together. Without a paint fight.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Lucas said quietly, looking down at his feet.

“It’s no big deal,” Eliott promised, because it really wasn't. He’d take a petty paint fight that they’d probably laugh about in the future over something more serious and final.

Lucas looked back up at him, a somewhat desperate look on his face. “It is. I’m sorry for overreacting and saying all those things about you and Spiderman and me and our relationship. I get a bit insecure about it all, the fact that you like me like I like you and that this isn’t just some big joke the universe is playing on me. I get scared of you leaving, like everyone else in my life does.”

Eliott put both his hands on Lucas’ face, brushing his cheekbones with his thumbs. The face paint Lucas had on smudged slightly under his fingers, but he didn’t think Lucas was too worried about it. “This is real, L, realer than anything I’ve ever felt. That’s why I get scared sometimes too, you know. Because as afraid as you are of me leaving, I’m terrified of never having someone in the first place to love me.” He stole Arthur’s words, because they fit like a glove he didn’t want to wear, but maybe he had to anyway.

“We’re really dumb, aren’t we?” Lucas asked, leaning into Eliott’s touch.

“The dumbest,” Eliott agreed.

Lucas bit his lip, eyes dropping to the ground then back up again. “If we’re idiots, I’m glad you’re my idiot, and that I’m yours.”

Eliott dropped his eyes to Lucas’ lips just as Lucas placed his hands on Eliott’s wrists, fingers brushing against his skin and raising his heart rate with each movement they made. Their noses brushed first, and Eliott held back just enough to take the moment for what it was, two kindred souls reconnecting, finding their place in the world.

When Lucas got fed up with waiting and closed those final few millimeters between them, it was a softer kiss than Eliott had been intending, but it made him feel like he was in a movie. With the lights swirling around them, the music fading to the back of his mind, it was hard not to pretend that they were a part of something bigger, a story that crowds of hundreds or thousands might look at and think, yes, that’s love.

It was, it really was.

Two beautiful boys slow dancing to the rhythm of their own music, lost in every sense of the word, lost in each other. Kisses feather light but felt to the bone, a steady thrumming in their chests beating out ‘I love you’ in morse code, if only they understood morse code. The dizzying realization that someone right in front of you knew every part of you and decided to love you on purpose, flaws and faults and misunderstandings and petty arguments and mistakes aside. It took a lot of effort to attain that kind of love, but it was so effortless at the same time. Loving Lucas was the easiest thing Eliott had ever done.

Then, inevitably, the crowd reappeared, the music returned, and the world was normal again, not knowing that somehow two boys in a secret high school party in France had stolen time for the two of them to exist in a reality entirely their own, even if just for a single second.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Eliott asked, because they were bound to be caught by the night guard at some point, and Eliott wanted to be far away when that happened. Also because Lucas was wearing far too many clothes and now that they were back to kissing Eliott didn’t ever want to stop, but their friends would be hearing the first excuse.

Lucas’ soft, lovelorn eyes softened even more, and his fingers were feather light as ever as he brushed them across Eliott’s eyebrow, then his cheek. He snapped out of the daze he was in for a split second, as if he was remembering something, then smiled serenely once more. “I would love to. I just need to use the bathroom quick, ok?”

“Ok,” Eliott said, “Do you want me to wait here?”

“I can meet you outside,” Lucas said hurriedly, lowering his voice. “Less questions from ‘concerned’ friends.”

Eliott laughed, pressing a small kiss to Lucas’ temple. “See you outside.”

“See you outside,” Lucas agreed, saluting him.

Eliott continued to chuckle fondly, meeting Imane’s eyes across the crowd of people as Lucas walked away. He blushed, even though he hadn’t been doing anything wrong. She should be glad he and Lucas got over themselves enough to have a conversation and get back to where things were meant to be. She simply raised an eyebrow and mimicked Lucas’ salute, and he flipped her off discreetly.

Once again he was struck with the loss of his jacket as he stepped outside into the night. It wasn’t terribly cold, but he hadn’t been terribly warm to start with and his face mask had been long since abandoned. He leaned up against the building, wondering how long Lucas was going to take, because he really, really just wanted to kiss him again and again.

The music and voices in the party got louder, or maybe the world around Eliott got quieter, and Lucas still wasn’t outside. He pulled out his phone, because maybe Lucas had gone to a different side of the building or something.

Eliott: hey i’m out front, where are you?

Lucas: Sorry, sorry! I’ll be right there, I promise

Lucas: Yann stopped me on the way back from the bathroom because Baz is drunk and he didn’t want to deal with him

Eliott: no problem just hurry plssss ;)

Eliott: i miss u

Lucas: Running

And he was, because a few moments later Eliott heard his footsteps, knew they were Lucas’ footsteps without even having to look, and Lucas burst through the doors, red faced and bright eyed. His hair was mussed up like he’d just been electrocuted, which was exactly how Eliott liked it.

When their eyes met, Lucas bolted to him, wrapping his arms around him tight enough that Eliott gripped him back with equal strength, spinning him around once, twice, before settling him back on the ground and kissing his forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips.

“Happy to see me?” Lucas teased and Eliott shushed him.

“Just let me enjoy all that you are, please,” Eliott asked, brushing their noses together gently.

Lucas leaned back slightly, teasing him further. “Are you insinuating that you don’t enjoy every part of me all the time?”

“Ah.” Eliott tucked his hands into Lucas’ hair, twirling some of the ends with his fingertips. For some reason his hair felt slightly sweaty, and Eliott wondered how fast he’d run there. “On the contrary,” he continued, “I can’t get you out of my head.”

“Good,” Lucas said smugly, pulling Eliott into a kiss. “Because I can’t either.”

They made it back to Lucas’ flat, eventually, but not after a fair few stolen kisses and piggyback rides, and time spent looking up at the moon and wondering if she was looking proudly at them from her position in the sky, watching their lives tangle the way they’d been destined to tangle.

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott had been banished from the kitchen, so he was sitting out on the sofa trying to make small talk with Lisa while Lucas made breakfast. Most of their mutual friends had seen Eliott at various states of good and bad and everywhere in between, but Eliott had an extra soft spot for Manon, Mika, and Lisa who (with Lucas) had treated him like a member of their makeshift family long before he and Lucas had gotten together, fake or real.

Eliott could hearing Lucas singing to himself in the kitchen and resisted the urge to go take a video lest he be kicked out of the flat entirely, but damn he wanted to. Lucas did not realize it, but he had the most beautiful singing voice Eliott had ever heard (not that his normal voice wasn’t already beautiful on its own). It was just another part of Lucas that Eliott had slowly fallen in love with over time not realizing that was what it was until he recognized it as the voice he heard in his sweetest dreams.

“You two were loud last night,” Lisa said from the other side of the sofa, eyes trained on the tv in front of them playing some rerun of a shitty tv show Eliott knew she couldn’t actually be very invested in.

“Thanks,” Eliott said, letting a smirk play across his features. He was shameless when it came to loving Lucas.

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Kitten!” Mika chose that moment to burst into the room in full Mika fashion, doing a double take at Eliott on the couch. “You are not the kitten I was referring to.”

Eliott laughed. “Your kitten is in the kitchen,” he supplied.

Mika raised one eyebrow suggestively. “Isn’t he your kitten?” he asked innocently, and Eliott blushed needlessly. Kitten wasn’t the animal Eliott would have used, but the sentiment remained.

“I’m his hedgehog,” Lucas said, entering the room with two plates of breakfast food. Mika tried to swipe one from him and Lucas ducked away rather gracefully, somehow not dropping either plate. He placed one on the table in front of Eliott with a wink before sitting beside him, shoving Lisa’s legs out of the way. She scoffed at him indignantly but Lucas ignored her, looking at Eliott expectantly.

“Better than a PONI?” Lucas asked, and Eliott nudged him lightly with his knee.

“That was one time,” Eliott said defensively, taking a bite of the non cinnamon filled eggs. Yes, he’d experimented a bit the first time he’d ever made Lucas breakfast, and yes they’d both come to regret it, and yes Lucas refused to let him live it down.

The door to the flat opened and Manon walked in, grocery bags in hand. She looked surprised to see Eliott there, and Eliott remembered that last she’d seen the two of them they were fighting.

“Everything good here then?” she asked as she unwrapped her scarf from her neck and set her groceries on the counter.

“Better than ever,” Eliott said, mostly to Lucas, who stuck his tongue out at him.

“When did you guys get back last night?” Manon asked. She must have gotten back later than them, because Lisa had been the only one home when they arrived, and she was fast asleep, so they were able to take advantage of the relative emptiness of the flat.

Eliott shrugged, exchanging a glance with Lucas. “Fairly early? We weren’t at the party long.”

“Wait, you weren’t there when Spiderman came, were you?” she gasped, scooting Lisa over more to sit with them on the couch. This was news to Eliott. Daphné must have gone crazy.

“No, we weren’t,” Lucas said.

Manon widened her eyes. “Well, it’s not like he was there long or anything, but Daphné will be talking about it forever and ever.”

“What happened?” Eliott asked, trying not to sound too eager because Lucas had folded in on himself a bit at the mention of Spiderman.

“Nothing much, like I said,” Manon explained, “But he sort of swung in out of nowhere, took a photo with Daphné, and left in a blur.”

“That’s weird,” Lisa chimed in from her side of the sofa, and Eliott couldn’t help but agree.

“Does that mean he goes to your school then?” Mika asked excitedly, stirring his coffee with a spoon.

“I highly doubt it,” Lucas said hurriedly, just as Eliott had shrugged and said, “It’s possible.”

They both narrowed their eyes at one another, before falling into laughter. “You know him better than me I guess,” Lucas whispered under his breath, and Eliott faked another laugh, not sure if that was meant to be a joke or some sort of test.

“Regardless, Daphné’s life is made,” Manon said.

“Getting a superhero to come to your secret party is a pretty big feat,” Eliott agreed, noticing the way Manon’s face lit up when she talked about Daphné.

Lucas must have noticed it too, because he asked, seemingly out of nowhere, “We should go on a double date with you and Daphné.”

Manon looked taken aback momentarily, before regaining her composure. “We should!” she agreed, then whispering conspiratorially, “She will have many dumb questions, though, be warned.”

Lucas laughed. “Manon, it wouldn’t be Daphné if she didn’t.”

“We’re trying to work on it,” Manon said anyway, standing up. “Is there edible food in the kitchen or did Eliott cook?”

“It was one time!” Eliott repeated.

“I cooked,” Lucas reassured her, taking another bite of his own food as proof.

“Thank god.”

Eliott resisted the urge to argue back, turning instead to his shithead of a boyfriend. “It’s really good,” he said, nodding to his plate.

“I know,” Lucas said smugly, and Eliott shoved his shoulder.

“I was trying to pay you a compliment asshole.”

“I know.”

Eliott had no choice but to kiss him senseless, smartass Lucas was so undeniably sexy to him. Not that any version of Lucas wasn’t, but damn. Lisa coughed loudly beside them to remind them she was on the sofa, but neither one of them listened to her. They’d be done kissing soon, surely.

Or maybe not, Eliott was fine with that too.

“Lucas, we get it, you have a boyfriend,” Mika said boredly, and Lucas broke their kiss, leaving his hands on Eliott’s shoulders and frowning grumpily.

“Manon has a girlfriend too!” he said indignantly.

Mika spread his arms wide, looking around the room. “But she’s not here, is she?”

Eliott coughed uncomfortably, even though he knew Mika didn’t really mean it. “I can leave…”

“Oh, no,” Mika and Lucas said at the same time. Lucas’ eyebrows bunched together in the middle of his forehead as Mika continued, “You’re welcome whenever, Lucas is the annoying one.

Lucas let go of Eliott, rolling his eyes and flopping his head back on the couch. “Fuck off, Mika.”

“Gladly,” Mika said, stealing a bit of bacon off Lucas’ plate before he went.

Eliott and Lucas settled back into each other, hardly noticing as Lisa got up with an exasperated huff as well, storming back into her own room.

“I love you,” Lucas said quietly, in their newfound peaceful atmosphere.

“I love you too.” It was still surreal to Eliott to be able to say it so casually, both of them knowing they meant it from the bottom of their hearts. Even so, as Lucas’ body was tucked into his, he felt so far away at the same time. “You ok?” he asked gently.

“Yeah,” Lucas sighed, not very convincingly.

“We can go to the bench if you want,” Eliott offered, opening the door just in case Lucas had something weighing on his mind that he wanted to talk about. Eliott could tell that he did, actually, but he didn’t want to demand anything before Lucas was ready to open up. The bench was a nudge, though, just in case.

“Let’s just stay here,” Lucas said, tracing the veins in Eliott’s arms.

“Are you sure?” Eliott asked.

Lucas didn’t answer, which was answer enough. Eliott wrapped him up in his arms a bit more tightly, pressing his face into Lucas’ hair. “You know that you don’t have to go through anything alone, right?”

Lucas’ eyes shifted about the room, and Eliott could feel his heart beating irregularly in his chest. “I know,” Lucas said, but Eliott didn’t think he did.

“I’m serious, L,” he pushed, and he watched as Lucas closed off further.

“Can you just drop it? Please?” Lucas pleaded, voice soft and distant.

Eliott didn’t know what to say. He could tell there was something weighing on Lucas, but he didn’t want to become Lucille and act more like a parent than a significant other. This was why, in the end, he simply pulled Lucas closer to him, pressed a kiss to his forehead, and murmured, “Ok.”

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott turned around when he heard someone calling his name in the hallway, smiling when he saw that it was Imane. He slowed to let her catch up, greeting her with a nod.

“How’s it going?” he asked. “I’m on my way to meet Lucas for lunch, but I’m sure he won’t mind if you join.”

“That’s what I’m here about actually,” she said apologetically. “Lucas told me to tell you he can’t make it, he and Arthur are testing a project in biology and need to use our lunch period to work.”

Eliott frowned. “Aren’t you his bio partner?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me. It’s for Arthur’s project, Lucas offered his help a few weeks ago and Arthur just decided to take him up on it.”

Eliott considered this. “Sounds like Lucas,” he shrugged, and Imane nodded in agreement. “Want to go to lunch with just me then?” he asked.

She eyed him with the usual softness she reserved only for him, Lucas, and Sofiane. “Sure.”

They didn’t stray far from school, because Imane had to get back earlier than Eliott did, but they settled in at a small cafe and Imane filled Eliott in on the bio project she’d been working on. He’d always known she was brilliant, but the things she was talking about flew so far over his head that he was too intimidated to stop and ask her to re-explain it all, in much simpler terms.

Lucas would have understood every word she was saying, Eliott was almost entirely certain of it, though he probably would have kept Eliott in the dark as well because he thought it was funny.

“Is Lucas working on a project too, then? Or is he working with you?” he asked as soon as she finished her explanation. Maybe that was part of why he’d been so MIA lately, if this project was consuming a lot of his time.

“We all have our own projects,” she said, “Lucas’ is very ambitious, so he should probably spend more time working on that than on Arthur’s, but he only listens to you, so anything I say goes in one ear and out the other.”

Eliott knew she was joking, but he felt compelled to say, “Please, Imane, I think you might be the only person Lucas respects as his superior.”

“His superior, huh? I’ll have to tell him you said that,” she said with a smirk.

He laughed. “Feel free, I’m not sure it’s much of a secret.”

“You two are good, then, I assume?” she clarified, and he remembered that, like most of their friends, the last they’d seen each other Lucas and Eliott had been steadfastly avoiding one another.

“Yeah, we’re good,” he assured her. “A little communication goes a long way.”

It was true enough, they had communicated a fair bit, even if there was still some things not talked about. Eliott was pretty sure all of his feelings were out in the open, he didn’t think he had anything to hide, hadn’t had anything to hide before, really, but with no worry of feelings for Spiderman he felt a bit freer in his love for Lucas.

They never lied to each other, and they never hid anything from each other, except that they did. Sure, hiding the fact that they’d both been in love with each other wasn’t a harmful thing to hide, but Eliott did worry, in the back of his mind, if that meant they could hide a variety of other things. Like whatever it was that was weighing so heavily on Lucas’ mind.

“Are you sure?” Imane asked, drawing his mind back to the present. It was quite annoying how perceptive she was.

“I think he’s hiding something from me,” Eliott admitted, dropping his chin into his hands.

Imane was silent for a minute, not quite the reaction he’d been expecting. He’d hoped she’d jump right into easing his worries. “What makes you think that?” she asked instead.

Eliott shrugged to the best of his ability, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know. He’s been weirdly absent lately, even longer than we’ve been together, you know? And even when we’re together, it’s like he’s a million miles away at times. He keeps saying it has nothing to do with me, and he doesn’t want to talk about it, but if something’s bothering him I want to be there for him, the way he’s been there for me many times before.”

Imane was considering him carefully, and Eliott blushed, realizing he’d unloaded quite a bit of worry that he had barely allowed himself to consider fully. And he wasn’t worried, not really, but he was. He was worried. The last time Lucas had been distant like this, hiding things, was when he’d been struggling to come out, and Eliott knew what a painful time that had been for him. He hated to think Lucas was suffering again in silence.

“I…” Imane paused, biting her lip. Eliott wasn’t sure if she knew something or if she was just struggling to find the right thing to say to him. “Lucas internalizes everything, we both know that, and I don’t think opening up comes easily to him, even though he trusts you more than anyone.”

“I know that,” Eliott agreed, “I just— I don’t want him to trust me halfway.”

“Have you told him that?”

Eliott sighed. “Not in such defined words.”

He wasn’t sure if defining his words would have helped much anyway. Lucas would probably just assure him that he trusted him, and then Eliott would allow himself to be kissed senseless and forget all about any hesitations he had.

Imane bit her lip. “Look, I— and everyone— know that Lucas loves you more than he’s ever loved another person, ok? I really don’t think you have to worry about that at all, but he might be scared to tell you some things, worried about how you might react or if it’ll make you love him any less. He’s terrified you’ll walk out on him someday, just like his father, and though it may be an irrational fear, doesn’t make it any less scary to him.”

So he’d been told quite a few times recently. “But what could he possibly have to say that would ever make me think any different of him?” Eliott wondered aloud. He let out a rueful laugh. “Is he a government spy or something, leading a nefarious double life?”

Imane stayed silent, refusing to indulge his idiotic ramblings, which was probably a good move on her part. He felt bad venting his frustrations out on her, but it hadn't been his intention to do so when he asked her out to lunch, if that counted for anything.

“I wouldn’t care if he was a government spy! I wouldn’t care if he was anything, because he’s just Lucas to me, and just Lucas is more than enough,” he said softly, dropping his hands onto the table.

“Then tell him that,” Imane said.

“I’m sure he already knows.”

“Probably,” she agreed, “But it doesn’t hurt to repeat the sentiment.”

He leaned back in his chair. “I guess…”

It was then that he thought to himself, this was what it was to be in love. Sure he’d been in love before Lucas, and he knew what love was, at least he thought he did, but love wasn’t always soft kisses and looks shared across rooms and hands and bodies and nights pressed close to one another. Love was worried conversations about the other, frustrated sighs, and paint fights, and always coming back to one another because it hurt more than anything not to. It was a choice as much as it was destiny. Fate may have led him to Lucas, but it was his choice to love Lucas that kept them together day by day. Love without purpose was the kind of love that was fleeting, never lasting longer than it began. It was the kind of love he’d had with Lucille, but everything with Lucas had been different from the very beginning.

A stunning realization, one that caught him unawares, was that he loved Lucas differently than he’d ever loved another person. He loved Lucas with the same depth and intensity he did his favorite films, which maybe to someone who didn’t know him might not seem all that intense at all, but Eliott knew better. He knew that even when people disappointed him, his favorite movies would always be there, his favorite music, his favorite books. Lucas was like that, a solid force in his life that he always knew would catch him should he fall or should the world hit him a little too hard.

That was why this all scared him, he was coming to realize, because it raised the question of what if Lucas didn’t see him in the same respect? He loved him, he loved him purposefully, that much Eliott was able to ascertain, but did he love him with that infinite depth reserved for the things that made people feel most at home, most comfortable in this wild, spinning world? Questioning was part of understanding, and communication, more often than not was the only answer. Idriss had been right all that time ago, Imane was right now, even if she hadn’t been so blunt about it.

Eliott wanted Lucas to know the intricacies of his heart, and Eliott wanted to know the intricacies of Lucas’ heart. It was only a matter of whether or not he was willing to share.

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott: i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever

Lucas: Me too

Eliott: bio project?

Lucas: Something like that

Eliott: want help? or moral support?

Lucas: I wish… but I think I need solitude to get this to work

Eliott: yeah, yeah of course

Eliott: if you change your mind though, you know where to find me <3

Lucas: I love you

Eliott: i love you too

Lucas: I’m going to kill Arthur

Eliott: hello to you too

Eliott: should i be worried?

Lucas: Lemme get back to you on that

Eliott: your project or his?

Lucas: His

Lucas: I swear, for someone so smart he can be so dumb

Eliott: sounds like someone i know

Lucas: Yeah, Arthur

Eliott: pretty sure we both know i meant someone else ;)

Lucas: Yourself?

Eliott: fuck arthur

Eliott: come over

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: now

Lucas: What????

Eliott: jesus fuck my wifi is shit

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: what i meant to say was fuck arthur

Eliott: as in f off arthur not like go to town with arthur

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: and come over to my place

!! Message not delivered !!

Eliott: preferably now

Eliott: or sooner

Lucas: Eliott???????

Lucas: ??????????????

Lucas: Fuck Idriss

Lucas: Now

Eliott: you’re hilarious, do you know that?

Lucas: No, tell me

Eliott: well now i don’t want to

Lucas: Tease

Eliott: careful who you call a tease, lallemant

Lucas: Would a tease be at your door right now?

Eliott: wait for real?

Lucas: Let me in asshole I’m cold

Eliott: just for that…

Lucas: Eliott, love of my life, man of my dreams, please let me inside otherwise I will fuck Arthur

Eliott: love of your life, man of your dreams, huh ;)

Lucas: Dialing Arthur as we speak

Eliott: i buzzed you in a few minutes ago love, no need to get your panties in a bunch

Lucas: I’ll bunch your panties

Eliott: not quite the sexy talk i was expecting but we can work with it

Lucas: I hate you. So much.

Eliott: love you too

Eliott: now get your ass up here, i’m getting cold

Lucas: You’re getting cold???

Eliott: hey, can i come over?

Lucas: Now isn’t a great time

Eliott: is it ever?

Lucas: What?

Eliott: sorry. long day.

Lucas: I can call you in a bit, if that works?

Eliott: don’t worry about it, i’m tired anyway

Lucas: Ok… the offer stands, though, in case you want to talk

Eliott: thanks

Lucas: Of course

Lucas: Sorry about the other day

Lucas: I should have been there for you

Eliott: what are you talking about?

Eliott: l, it’s 3 am go to bed

Lucas: You’re up, aren’t you?

Lucas: That’s what I thought

Lucas: Anyway, I’m sorry I wasn’t available when you needed to come over

Lucas: I should have been

Eliott: don’t worry about it, lucas, really

Lucas: I just feel like I’ve been such a terrible boyfriend lately

Eliott: you haven’t

Lucas: I have, though

Lucas: We go to the same school and we barely see each other, and then I’m anywhere but with you after

Eliott: you’re busy, i understand

Eliott: i can’t expect you at my beck and call 24/7

Eliott: and vice versa, you know?

Lucas: I know. It would be nice if we could be, though, right?

Eliott: if i had my way you’d never leave my side

Eliott: not in a creepy way

Lucas: Haha, I know, El

Lucas: Me too

Eliott: get some sleep, ok?

Eliott: there are no thoughts worth worrying that pretty little head of yours

Lucas: Pretty, huh?

Eliott: did i stutter?

Lucas: No

Lucas: :)

Eliott: goodnight, loverboy

Lucas: Loverboy? Isn’t that you?

Eliott: you can be my loverboy too

Lucas: Ok <3

Lucas: Night, loverboy

Eliott: hey, lucas, can i come over?

Eliott: no crises, i just want to talk to you

Eliott: not a bad talk

Eliott: just like, talk talk

Eliott: i’ve just been putting this off too long

Eliott: ok that sounds like a bad talk but i promise it’s not lol

Eliott: i love you

Eliott: i’m coming over ok?

🕷🕷🕷🕷

It had been over a week since Eliott had spoken with Imane, and he knew that he shouldn’t have put off talking with Lucas for so long, especially since all he wanted to talk about was how much Lucas meant to him, but it was still a bit scary. And Lucas was still a bit unavailable. He hadn’t texted Eliott back that day either, but Eliott decided he’d take his chances, kick Arthur out if he had to.

He knocked on the door to the flat, checking his phone again to see if there was any response from Lucas. None. He bit his lip in disappointment, though he knew that Lucas had a habit of not looking at his phone for hours on end.

The door swung open and Eliott was met with the face of his boyfriend, slightly out of breath, shirt on inside out.

Eliott narrowed his eyes. “You weren’t fucking Arthur, were you?”

Lucas’ surprised expression softened as he melted into a laugh. “No, just got back from working out. Sorry, I just saw your texts, come in.”

The flat looked relatively empty which meant that Mika was probably at work, Manon was probably with the girls, and Lisa was probably sleeping in her room. Lucas led Eliott down the hallway, stopping right in front of the door to his bedroom.

“You wanted to talk?” he asked a bit nervously.

“Kind of, yeah,” Eliott said, opening the door, because it didn’t seem like Lucas was going to. Lucas’ hand brushed against his as he went to sit on the bed, eyes darting around the room. “It’s nothing to be afraid of,” he assured him with a small laugh.

“What?” Lucas said, finally looking at him. “Oh. Um, yeah.”

Eliott furrowed his brows as Lucas sat tentatively on the edge of the bed. “Are you ok?”

“Why do you ask?” Lucas laughed with a false cheeriness.

“You seem a little on edge,” Eliott said slowly, following Lucas’ eyeline around the room until he felt Lucas’ hand on his face and snapped their eyes back to meet again.

“Sorry,” Lucas apologized breathlessly, “I’ve been—”

“Busy, I know,” Eliott said. Lucas shrugged, twisting his lips into a sort of apologetic grimace. Eliott sighed, taking Lucas’ hand in his and folding their fingers together. Lucas’ presence— or lack thereof— wasn’t what he was there to talk about. He had to focus, take Imane’s advice, remember all that he’d been thinking about since they spoke.

“So, um, I realized something recently,” Eliott began, steady as he could, looking down at their joined hands. Lucas’ were rough and calloused, knicks and scrapes all over the back of them. They’d been like that for a while, but Eliott had never asked about it.

Lucas nodded at him to continue, and he did. “I was thinking about you, like I always do, and how much I love you and all that, and I know that you know I love you, but I know that we’re both still scared of being hurt. It’s in the nature of loving someone and allowing yourself to be loved to be scared of being hurt, but I just wanted to talk about why you don’t need to be scared of that, I guess. I don’t just love you because fate decreed that you’re my one true soulmate or because kissing you feels like coming home, I love you because it’s my favorite thing to do, and I want to do it. I want to feel it. Does that make sense?”

“I, uh, I think so,” Lucas said, looking slightly taken aback.

“I love movies,” he continued, even as Lucas looked a bit bewildered, “I love them even when I hate everyone in the world, because I know that even if they hurt me, it’s the kind of pain that I can handle, because the love is worth any trouble it takes to get there. That’s how I feel about you, I love you like a movie.”

Eliott wasn’t sure if he was explaining himself properly or not, but Lucas’ eyes were soft, and his thumb was tracing circles across Eliott’s palm, so all appeared to be going according to plan, even if the metaphor was a bit confusing.

“I know there are things you aren’t telling me, but I just want you to know that I don’t care, whatever it is. Nothing could make me love you— or want to love you— any less.” He grinned, glancing down at the sheets, then casting his gaze around the room. “Even if you’re some government spy sent here from Russia, or a secret Prince in hiding from his home country, or—”

He cut himself off, eyes catching on something across the room, in Lucas’ closet. He could feel the blood drain from his face as he looked away from the closet, to Lucas, who’d followed his gaze. Lucas instantly looked petrified, etches of an adoring smile still ghosting his face.

Eliott stood up from the bed slowly, like he might scare the object that had caught his attention away. Lucas sat frozen on the bed, watching him go until he found what he was looking for.

His brown jacket, the one he’d given Spiderman all that time ago. Why did Lucas have it? There had to be a simple explanation. Maybe he’d found it somewhere, maybe it wasn’t Eliott’s jacket at all. Or maybe… Lucas had been with Spiderman this whole time? Had everyone been wrong to say that Lucas loved him, and the real prize had been the same as the one Eliott had yearned for not too long ago? Or maybe… Eliott didn’t want to allow himself to think it, didn’t want to believe that he’d been lied to over and over again. But there it was, in his hands, the answer he’d been looking for all along.

“Even if I was Spiderman?” Lucas asked, voice a gentle whisper from where he still sat on the bed, fear alight in his eyes. Every part of Eliott wanted to run over there and nullify his fears, wrap Lucas in his arms until he smiled, but no, he couldn’t do that.

Eliott took one step back towards him, then two more. “Are you?”

Lucas looked up at him, and he broke. Tears filled his eyes as he opened his mouth. “I can explain everything,” Lucas said in a small voice, so small it didn’t suit him one bit.

But suddenly, Eliott found that he didn’t want an explanation.

“I have to go,” he said, jacket in hand. He didn’t know what to do with it, should he leave it there, or should he take it with him? He threw it on, noticing how it smelled like Lucas, wondering how he’d never noticed that Spiderman smelled like Lucas.

“Eliott wait!” Lucas called, following him out into the hallway. Eliott didn’t turn around, because he feared that if he did he would break as well. How long had it been? Had their whole relationship been built on lies and deceit?

Eliott kept walking until he knew Lucas wasn’t following, right out of the flat and onto the street and to a place that he knew would always be there for him when his mind was a mess and he didn’t know what to do. He heard Lucas’ broken voice in his mind, replayed all the fervent glances and unexplained absences and moments with Spiderman where it had felt like they knew one another.

He also remembered what he’d just been in the middle of saying to Lucas, about his love, about how he would love Lucas no matter who he was or what he could possibly have to hide. That was the thing, he did love him still, even knowing Lucas had been playing him from the start. He had to believe that Lucas loved him back, that there really was a simple explanation, and maybe he’d let Lucas explain it, but he still needed some time to gather himself into someone who was ready to receive that information.

His phone buzzed once, twice.

Lucas: Eliott please

Lucas: Please come back Eliott. I love you, I do, I’m so sorry for not telling you

Eliott: stop texting me

He sent the message, pausing his walking and staring down at the screen. Lucas’ worst fear was coming true, he realized. He was leaving, just like everyone always left Lucas. There was a possibility that none of this had been real, but on the off chance that it was, Eliott had to say something before there was no going back.

Eliott: i love you

Eliott: i just need some time

Eliott: i meant what i said

He shut his phone off, regretting and not regretting what he’d sent. His feet carried him all the way to the petite ceinture, and he knew Lucas would be able to find him there if he really wanted to, but he didn’t care. He slumped against the side of the bridge, pulling his knees to his chest, and burying his head between them, screwing his eyes shut.

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, thoughts swirling in his mind at a rapid pace, but he knew that it was dark now, he could tell by the amount of light behind his eyelids. Still, he didn’t open his eyes. He’d stay there all night if he had to, he just needed to make some sense of everything that had just been revealed to him.

Footsteps startled him out of his stupor and he blinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyes to the lack of light.

“Lucas?” he called out, but the footsteps went silent. He furrowed his brows a moment, listening as well as he possibly could, and hearing nothing but the sound of his own shallow breaths. A minute passed, then two, and he relaxed back against the wall. No one was there. He was alone, and he was still trying to decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He blinked slowly, letting his eyes rest before he opened them again, breathing in and out slowly. Then, the footsteps again.

“Lucas?” he asked, a bit more hesitantly, opening his eyes.

There was a blinding light, and then—

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott was used to darkness and the terrifyingly simple solitude it brought with it. He was no stranger to monsters, knew that he had the worst ones of all inside his own mind sometimes, but he’d always come out of those fights victorious. Still, the darkness lurked, always waiting to bring him back to where it thought he belonged. Sometimes Eliott himself thought he belonged there.

He was used to the darkness, but somewhere along the way he’d gotten used to the light that came after, the beacon of hope that usually wore a face with wide blue eyes he could get lost in for days. But now, there was no light.

Just the dark.

No blue eyes soft with reassurance, no wild laugh or tousled hair or calloused fingertips.

Just the dark.

Eliott was used to darkness, yes, but he was scared of it now. Scared that this wasn’t the darkness he knew so well, the kind he’d beat in battle a million times over. He felt like a child, clinging to memories of a nightlight long since thrown away, struck with the realization that he was alone, and if the monsters wanted to attack, there was nothing standing in their way.

It was dark, it was dark, it was dark.

Until it wasn’t.

The light shone in Eliott’s eyes so bright he near went blind from it at first, holding his hands up in front of his face and squinting his eyes. A low, sinister chuckle emanated from the light, and he immediately knew that this light was darkness in disguise, that wherever he was was somewhere worse than anything he could have ever imagined.

The initial shock of brightness cleared, and Eliott saw beyond, right into the impassive gaze of the man without a face.

“Well, well, well,” he said, “Long time no see.”

Eliott said nothing, not understanding, and not trusting his vocal chords enough to make any noise.

“You’re him, then,” the man continued. Eliott still didn’t know how he spoke, without a mouth, but that was the last thing on his mind at the moment.

“I’m not Spiderman,” he eked out, voice raw and shaky.

The man with no face laughed, like gravel crunching under a car tire. “No, you are not. You’re something better.” The man with no face smiled and— wait, that couldn’t be right. Eliott blinked, wondering if he was seeing things, wondering if this was all a dream. Suddenly the man with no face had a face, and it was scarier than anything Eliott could ever have imagined.

Eliott looked at a mirror image of himself, and heard his own voice utter words that shook him to his very core.

“You are Spiderman’s demise.”

#skam france #elu fic #elu spiderman au #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury

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psychodollyuniverse · 5 years ago

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The Long Blondes

The Long Blondes were a five-piece English indie rock band formed in Sheffield, United Kingdom in 2003 by Dorian Cox (lead guitar and keyboards), Reenie Hollis (real name Kathryn Hollis) (bass guitar and backing vocals), Emma Chaplin (rhythm guitar, keyboards and backing vocals), Kate Jackson (lead vocals) and Screech Louder (real name Mark Turvey, drums).

After several critically acclaimed singles, they released their debut album, Someone to Drive You Home, on Rough Trade Records in November 2006. Their second album, Couples, was produced by Erol Alkan and released in April 2008. On 20 October 2008, due to the unexpected illness of their primary songwriter and lead guitarist, Dorian Cox, the band announced their amicable split via a message on their website, the same day their singles compilation, "Singles" was released.

The band was formed in 2003 in Sheffield, United Kingdom. All the members were attending, or had attended university in the city.The following quote appeared on their website and served as an introduction to the Long Blondes; "Our shared influences include The Mael Brothers, Marx Brothers and The Bewlay Brothers. We do not listen to The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors or Bob Dylan. We chose an instrument each and learnt to play it.".The band have stated that the original inspiration for The Long Blondes was to form a fantasy pop group: "Nico, Nancy Sinatra, Diana Dors and Barbara Windsor. Sexy and literate, flippant and heartbreaking all at once." Singer Kate Jackson was inspired by bands with front women like Siouxsie and the Banshees and Blondie.

In July 2004, The Long Blondes released their debut single "New Idols" on the local Thee Sheffield Phonographic Corporation label. This was followed by singles "Autonomy Boy" and "Giddy Stratospheres", on Angular. In 2005, they released further singles, "Appropriation (By Any Other Name)" and "Separated By Motorways", the latter being produced by Paul Epworth and released on his own Good & Evil label. These releases were met with a positive critical reaction and growing media attention

Still unsigned, in February 2006 the band were recipients of the NME Philip Hall Radar Award, which in previous years was won by Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs. Further adding to their reputation, the band were named by The Guardian and Vogue as "the best unsigned band in the UK". As they were unsigned, during the early success of the band, members remained working in various day jobs; Jackson sold vintage clothing on eBay, Cox was working in the University of Sheffield Department of Law, Hollis in the Media Studies department of a nearby college, Chaplin in a Leeds art library and Louder in the Home Office.

On 13 April 2006 they signed to Rough Trade Recordsand began recording their debut album over the summer with Steve Mackey, the bassist with Pulp. The album was preceded by the singles "Weekend Without Makeup" in July and "Once and Never Again", which was released on 23 October and debuted at number 30 in the UK Singles Chart.The song was named the 15th best track of 2006 by NME. Someone to Drive You Home was released in November 2006. The music was written by the band collectively while the majority of the lyrics were written by Cox with Jackson completing the lyrics for "Separated by Motorways" and "Madame Ray". Critical reception was generally positive with the NME calling it "fantasy pop, performed to perfection" in a 9/10 review.Reviews picked up on the predominant themes of the album; outsider status, popular culture references from the 1950s and 60s and relationships from a female perspective. Other reviews indicated the numerous inspirations for the work. For example, a four-star review in The Guardian said that "if talent borrows but genius steals ... the Long Blondes should be taking their Mensa tests", comparing the album's style to Franz Ferdinand and 80s indie-pop band The Flatmates.Some noted the impact of Jackson's voice; Colin Roberts of Drowned In Sound said "her delivery is like a public address call across a Sunday marketplace” while The Guardian said it was "marvellously belting, if unsubtle".A 3-star review in Uncut magazine recognised the ambition of the band's sound, advising that they should acquire "a ruthless pop producer, one who can coax them out of their indie-pop dowdiness – like Blondie needed Mike Chapman, like ABC needed Horn.They appeared at a number of UK festivals over the summer of 2006, including the Carling Weekend. In 2007, they played on the Other Stage at the Glastonbury Festival.

After an extended European tour, in October 2007 The Long Blondes began work on their second album with producer Erol Alkan, who had previously produced their more dance orientated b-sides such as "Five Ways To End It" and "Fulwood Babylon". On 19 December 2007, it was announced that the new album's title would be "Couples". The title alludes to the David Bowie album "Heroes" and also to a loose theme of the album as a "big breakup album". Before the album was released, all five members created their own cryptic promo videos explaining the inspiration behind "Couples".The band stated that the album drew influences from Italo disco revival acts such as Glass Candy and the Italians Do It Better label.and ABBA. Cox stated that "...there's something really innocent about Abba videos... really kinda funny, futuristic but old fashioned at the same time and that's how we see our music on this album.".

"Couples" was released on 7 April 2008, preceded by a single, "Century", released on 24 March 2008. The album reached number 48 in the UK album chart. The album was generally well received by critics. Click Music gave the album a 4.5 out of 5 and said it was "a worthy contender for record of the year".[24] The Guardian gave the album another 4-star review, noting the album's shift in style – saying that some tracks shared "more with the cinematic perfection of Kylie Minogue's "Confide in Me" than the kitchen sink dramas of Pulp". A mixed 6/10 review in NME said the album was "not terrible, but disappointing" and "whereas once they sang of suburban boredom tempered with the thrill of escape, now they’ve started to sound like they’d be happy to stay put".After "Century", the next song to be taken off the album was "Guilt", which was released on 7" and digital download.

On 9 June 2008, the band posted on their official website that Cox had fallen ill and that he had to be rushed to hospital, which meant that they had to cancel all their live appearances until the end of July.The band were due to play a support slot on Duran Duran's Red Carpet Massacre tour at the Birmingham NIA and the O2 Arena in London and on the John Peel stage at Glastonbury.

After "Couples", the band decided to release a compilation of their rare early 7" singles, which was titled "Singles" on 20 October 2008 on Angular Records.The twelve track album collected all of the songs from the band's first singles. The version of "Separated By Motorways" differs from the single version produced by Paul Epworth, instead the group opted to include the demo version instead. The compilation also featured one previously unreleased song – "Peterborough". "Singles" was named the 25th best album of 2008 by Artrocker magazine

On 20 October 2008, Guitarist Dorian Cox posted a message on their official website that the band had split up. The main motivation for the break-up was Cox's stroke in June 2008, which resulted in a swath of cancelled gigs.Cox thanked fans for their support and goodwill. "We have decided to call it a day," he wrote. "The main reason for this is that I suffered from a stroke in June and unfortunately I do not know when/if I will be well enough to play the guitar again. On behalf of the band I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who ever came to one of our shows, bought one of our records or danced to one of our songs in a club." The announcement was made the same day their compilation "Singles" was released, with the inside of the rear album art also containing news of the break-up. Upon their split, The Guardian wrote an article entitled "Why music will miss the Long Blondes".

It was reported on 1 December 2008 that Cox was undergoing physiotherapy for his paralysis and is still hoping to get back to playing guitar.

Jackson has been working on her debut solo album with producer and ex-Suede guitarist Bernard Butler. She will be working under the name Madame Ray (after the song on Someone To Drive You Home). Jackson has said that the sound of the album first tended towards country rock but has now become a "big pop record". She released the album 'British Road Movies' in early 2016.

Dorian Cox's new band is called Unmade Bed and have made a number of songs available on-line.

Hollis continues to play in The Bon Bon Club, a band she formed with Louder.Their debut single features three cover versions—"Lullaby" by The Cure, "Love Is Blind" by Pulp and "Romantic Rights" by Death From Above 1979. It was released through Thee Sheffield Phonographic Corporation on 23 June 2008. The 7" single was limited to 500 copies.

Hollis also plays with Nature Set and their first single 7" has been published by Elefant Records in 2011.

The Long Blondes' songs reflect a number of influences, including 60s pop, Buzzcocks, The Fall, The Ramones, Suede,post-punk and new wave. Jackson's vocals have been compared to Ari Up of The Slits, Deborah Harry of Blondie and Lesley Woods of Au Pairs[citation needed]. Dorian Cox's backing vocals are also similar to those of former Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker. The music features angular guitars and prominent bass guitar lines. However, the band themselves claim somewhat more eclectic influences than their sound suggests, citing Burt Bacharach, Holland-Dozier-Holland, Chinn and Chapman, and Stock, Aitken and Waterman as influences. The band named some of their actual influences and favourite bands. Chaplin's were The Smiths, Sweet and The Jesus and Mary Chain. Hollis's were Belle and Sebastian, ELO and The Eagles. Cox's were ABBA and The Fall. Louder's were Scott Walker, The Slits and Captain Beaky. Jackson's were The Smiths, The Fall and Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood. Screech Louder cited Siouxsie and the Banshees, a group they were likened by the critics.Louder said about them: "[Siouxsie and the Banshees] made much more interesting records than any of the instant hits could manage, and they didn’t run out of ideas after the first few singles. Like Pulp, they’re testament to the power of waiting".

The Long Blondes are known for referencing films, singers, starlets and artists in their music. Screech Louder said that Alfred Hitchcock was a big inspiration when it came to referencing films in their music, he said "the whole film noir thing is very important because it's stylish but there's depth to it as well".

Lyrics

"Appropriation (By Any Other Name)" is a homage to Hitchcock's 1958 film Vertigo. It has been said[by whom?] that the song is told from Judy's perspective, due to lines such as "When I met you, I never wore dresses like that" & "You can't have me, make me act the same". Lead singer Kate Jackson painted two different portraits for the CD single and 7" Vinyl, they both depicted Kim Novak's characters Madeleine Elster and Judy Barton.[41]

"Darts" mentions British darts player Bobby George and darts commentator Sid Waddell.

"Erin O'Connor" is a homage to Erin O'Connor which also mentions fellow model, Lily Cole. It begins with a line by Ronnie Corbett and David Swift from the BBC play No Sex Please, We're British.

"Five Ways To End It" mentions Carry On star Hattie Jacques and also the producer of the Carry On films, Peter Rogers.

"I Liked The Boys" ends with "Not the most original sentiment I've ever heard, so what's new" which is a line from a radio show by Terry Wogan.[22] Whilst recording the second album, they found an old reel-to-reel radio recording and decided to use parts in some of their songs

"I'm Going To Hell" ends with a line by Peter Sellers.

"Long Blonde" mentions punk band Ramones, one of their influences.

"Lust in the Movies" mentions underground actresses such as 60's socialite and muse, Edie Sedgwick, American actress Arlene Dahl & French actress Anna Karina. Also the repeated line "Nag nag nag" is a reference to the same repeated lyric in the song "Nag Nag Nag" by Sheffield band Cabaret Voltaire.

"Madame Ray" is inspired by Lee Miller, the photographer and muse of avent-garde artist Man Ray.

"Melville Farr" is based on Dirk Bogarde's character in the 1961 British film Victim.

"Never To Be Repeated" references film-star Greta Garbo.

"Only Lovers Left Alive" takes its title from the 1964 science fiction novel by Dave Wallis, and includes the title of 1950s film From Here To Eternity as a lyric.

"Round The Hairpin" begins with a line by British comedian Kenny Everett.

"Swallow Tattoo" has a lyric ("you fill me with inertia") which is a reference to the parody pop band fronted by Peter Cook in Bedazzled.

"You Could Have Both" namechecks American singer Scott Walker. The song also alludes to the Morrissey song "My Love Life".The song also mentions the character of C.C. 'Bud' Baxter from The Apartment

Artwork

Before "Couples" was released, all five members created their own cryptic promo videos "explaining" what the inspiration behind "Couples" was. Jackson explained who inspired the album cover, she found artist Richard Hamilton, videos by ABBA, Lee Miller and Le Corbusier to be the main inspiration.

The two front covers of "Weekend Without Makeup" are paintings of Diana Dors.

The front cover of their debut album Someone To Drive You Home is a painting by Kate Jackson of Faye Dunaway in the film Bonnie and Clyde, with a Mark 3 Ford Cortina as her getaway car.The artwork inside the album sleeve is a painting of Nicolas Cage & Laura Dern in the film Wild At Heart.

The front cover of "New Idols" is a painting of Diana Dors in Yield to the Night.

from their Wikipedia page

Why music will miss the Long Blondes from The Guradian Uk October 21st 2008.

It's hard to sum up just how exciting the Long Blondes were when they started out. I first heard them after they'd released a few singles and they were still without a record deal. Amongst my friends, urging them on to bigger and better things was a cause we felt passionately about. And it wasn't long before the NME had called them the Best Unsigned Band in Britain.Matching the media hype was the fact that those early singles - Giddy Stratospheres, Autonomy Boy, Once and Never Again and Lust in the Movies - were stunning. Unlike anyone else, they seemed to be addressing exactly what suburban teenagers were going through: self harm, bitchy jealousy, social climbing, pretending you were a much cooler film star than the sad sack you actually were. For those of us who couldn't relate to guitar songs that sounded like football chants, these were a revelation. It helped that they looked like a proper pop group. A bunch of ex-librarian mis-shapes and misfits dressed in thrift shop chic straight out of a Pulp song, it was impossible to take your eyes off front-woman Kate Jackson. In the miasma of boys with guitars they were the only band who were mining a wealth of influences often overlooked by the keepers of rock music's "canon" - Blondie, the Ronettes, the Human League, Pulp, John Cooper Clarke and the B-52s - to name just a few. They were often criticised for not being able to play "properly". These people, I thought, were missing the point – in the grand tradition of their heroes the Long Blondes were anti-technique.In fact, their heroic statement of intent on their website read: "We do not listen to the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, the Doors or Bob Dylan. We chose an instrument each and learnt to play it."None of them were really proper musicians. And unlike all of those perfectly coiffured indie bands who became their peers, they were clearly just a group of friends who wanted to form a band for the fun of it.Also, in an age where most other indie bands' default option was "dumbing down", the Long Blondes weren't afraid to flaunt their high falutin' literary and pop culture influences. Like their beloved Roxy Music, high culture met low culture in their aesthetic. Billy Wilder, Arlene Dahl and Kenny Everett were all lyrical inspirations while their sleeves referenced Bonnie and Clyde, Poor Cow and 50s pulp fiction novels.They produced two great albums (Someone To Drive You Home and Couples), and a pretty weighty stack of classy singles and b-sides (Ten Reasons To End It , Christmas Is Cancelled and Long Blonde to name a few). These, along with their sense of fearlessness (in their music, attitude and look), will be their legacy.

#the long blondes #dorian cox #kate jackson #rennie hollis #emma chaplin #screech louder #someone to drive you home #couples #best band of the early XXi century

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linkspooky · 6 years ago

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A meta on Emma maybe?? I like seeing how she was so similar to Mama and how the series never really condemns or dissuades her from her optimism!!

So what makes Emma such a great character is that her ideals are what make the central ideology of the story, and also the world in The Promised Neverland basically exists to challenge Emma’s ideals at every single moment. Emma’s ideals are what bring her in conflict with the entire world, because the world she exists in denies her right to live as anything but cattle, but also her right to see the value in the lives of others, and both things are important to Emma’s character.

So, while Emma has ideals that sound like they are basically every other shonen protagonists ideals ever “I want to save everyone”, and “I fight for my family and friends” what makes them unique in this case is that Emma’s ideals are not built off of her being some weirdly pure empathy magnet, who loves their friends unconditionally, never struggles, seems too stupid to actually understand the complexity of the world. etc. etc. the kind of characterization shown in most shonen protagonists to make their personalities accomodate their ideals with little conflict.

The fact is Emma is as smart as the other two boys, even to the point of being book smart and a cunning strategist, even if not as much as Norman and Ray she can at least always keep up with them. What is unique about Emma is she sees how unrealistic her expectations of the world are, how her ideals aren’t practical with a world at all that is trying to kill them, and Emma wants to stick to her ideals anyway. What is also unique is that she’s the fastest learning of the two, which means that Emma is the one most open to change and most adaptable which is useful not only for going into an outside world they knew nothing about with their sheltered upbringing, but also when it comes to people Emma tends to be the most understanding of others. She’s the one who always tries to encourage others to open up to her, and tries diplomacy first and reasoning rather than just fighting for survival right away.

Emma is yet another shonen protagonist whose ideals boil down to “never give up” but her determination isn’t just to be really good at fighting, or to be the best like no one ever was. Emma’s determination specifically applies to refusing to stop caring about others in a world that pressures her to only care about her own survival.

So from the start of the manga we’re introduced to Emma’s primary character trait. That she cares deeply about her family, she always thinks of others. The first chapter of the series, Emma realizes she’s going to die in less than two months and she has no allies other than Norman, and even Norman who is a decent guy has already suggested that just the three of them try to escape and fend for themselves, but Emma never even considered that as an option. What hurt the most to her was not her own life being in danger, but the rest of her family disappearing like Connie did.

This is the inciting incident in which Emma’s focus and goal for the entire manga becomes the unrealistic goal of letting everyone survive, in a fight where children will be fighting against not only adults, but unknowable horrors of demons and escaping into a world they know little about.

Every single antagonist in the manga has given up to some extent. Especially the human adults who are for the most part cattle children who became a part of the system. In the themes of the manga the most morally wrong thing to do, is to give up thinking of others and only think of your own survival. Even if the circumstances are stacked against you, even if you have sympathetic reasons for doing so, it’s still a moral wrong to sacrifice others especially innocents like children in order for you to survive as a cog in the system. The first antagonist even declares this, this is the motivation of both Krone and Isabella, they just wanted to fight back with their own survival.

When the trio first confront each other about their escape plan, it’s Emma who sets the ideals for the other two boys to follow. Even if it seems impossible, they should plan with the intention of everybody escaping.

If the world is against their entire existence and denying their personhood, rather than conform to the world, they need to change the entire world. That’s been the overarching goal of the manga. Notice Emma’s wording, she refuses to bend on her primary ideal of saving everyone but she also thanks Ray for challenging her because it made her realize what she wanted to do.

Emma isn’t just an idealistic idiot who only understands her own way of thinking and doesn’t accept others, she actively understands the circumstances of others, considers it, challenges it against her own and even then refuses to let go of her ideals. This is what Emma shows time and time again in the manga, because the world exists to challenge Emma’s ideals. The first real test of this is the spy, who Emma wants to save even after learning they betrayed them to mama.

At that point Emma reconfirms her ideals again, even if they betrayed them at one point if they’re not completely evil at heart they deserve a chance to be won over to their side, and that’s the ending that Emma wants to shoot for. That’s where the key in Emma’s empathy lies, she gives others second chances believing they’re deserving of it. Her insistence is not that things like betrayal and deceipt do not exist in this world, but rather what she’s saying on a more baseline is even after that person betrays them she wants them to live so the best thing to do is try to escape with them still. Emma’s central message is live, and she continually offers others second chances to live.

Which is why because Emma’s so accepting of others, she’s the one that inspires others to be like her, and aspire to their morals even if they believe it’s impossible to abide by those morals with the harsh reality. The reason all the other characters move and throw themselves into conflict is because they become centered around Emma’s ideals.

When Ray confronts Emma, we get more of Emma’s idealism reinforced. Just as she said she’s willing to forgive the spy for what they did in the past as long as they never do it in the future.

Emma’s not stupid, she’s also not unaware of the circumstances, she knows that Ray had to make tough sacrifices when building for his escape plan in the future. So looking at the reality of that she decides to forgive him again, giving him a second chance. Emma is aware people lie and deceive but believes in people’s capacity to be better and therefore decides to give others a chanceand trust them again. Of course with the framing of this scene it also shows Emma as the reckless idealist again, its all on the unstable premise that Ray will never try to sacrifice someone again for the sake of the greater good, or one of their family members so escape will be easier. THe recklessness comes from the fact that sometimes when things go off track for Emma she’ll try to force it.

The next major challenge for her ideals (i’m going in broad strokes here forgive me for not recapping the entire manga) is when she has to willingly accept Norman’s sacrifice. Something that neither her nor Ray are in favor of, and try to plot around him because while Ray insists they have to sacrifice some of the siblings to escape he cannot bring himself to let Norman or Emma sacrifice themselves, whereas Emma did not want to accept any sacrifices.

The big challenge in this moment is Emma accepting that even if she pulls things off perfectly, uses everything in her ability and intelligence, and gets everyone to cooperate people will still die. Knowing that living without losing any of their family members is impossible, will Emma continue to hold her ideals. Is Emma capable of striving or a scenario where they save everyone, if she’s forced to accept sacrifices time and time again, can her heart withstand that and still hope for the best?

We see once again Emma shows her recklessness. The same as the time with Ray, when scenarios fall far off of her ideals, like when Ray turned out to be the spy, when Norman decided to sacrifice himself, Emma gets really mad at the world and the others around her and experiences pure emotion. In a childish way she has a hard time accepting the circumstances that in her front of her and the actions of others when it doesn’t go along perfectly with her ideals, and sometimes she tries to force it by acting emotinoally, yelling, with intidimation, throwing a tantrum, Emma is just eleven after all. She’s not a perfect angel, she’s a person who continually gets frustrated that the world won’t go her way, and is out to get her loved ones. What she has the most trouble with is accepting the actions of others especially when it conflicts with her ideals, and accepting that not everybody can think the way she can. While it’s her refusal to accept sitautions that makes her so determined to change the world in the first place because she is rejecting the whole world, and the social order that dictates she’s cattle with no value, at the same time she’s also sometimes so reckless and gets frustrated the world and people around her won’t adapt to her ideals quick enough when she seees how things can be better.

That’s her recklessness, when the chips are down she’ll always resort to what she thinks is right before anybody else, the world’s logic, or even her own safety. She nearly threw away the entire escape just to save Norman, even though Emma would never accept sacrificing the other children just so the three of them could escape alone.

That wasn’t even her intention though, her intention was of course to save Norman, and then save the others, and insist there must have been a way out that they just hadn’t grasped yet and needed to take a risk to try to achieve. Except this time there was not one, and was not one they could think of in time, so Emma just gambled and only got away with it because Norman calmed her back down. For the first arc of the manga Norman is the one who comes up with the means to bring Emma’s ideals back to life, but after that Emma and Ray the pragmatist have to work it out between the two of them.

Without Norman it seems even more impossible, and then once again Emma is reminded of the basic moral dilmena of the manga. The fact that she’s suffering so much and struggling so hard is because she’s trying to make an impossible wish come true for the sake of everybody else around her, but she could just give up and save herself.

The world is trying to rid her of those qualities, and will punish her for every second she has them, because those unrealistic expecations and her recklessness makes survival even harder for her in a world where it was hard to survive to begin with.

However, in the face of that Emma’s solution is to not give up. She doesn’t give up on other people, she continually gives them a chance even when they threaten her, disappoint her, or betray her, and she also doesn’t give up on the idea that she can save everyone with the mans she has as long as she uses them in the best way possible.

Emma is a high idealist, but not only does the story challenge those ideals again and again, she also puts them into practice. The story doesn’t say that Emma’s optimism is wrong, in fact the themes of the story are made by Emma’s belief, however the story does continually challenge Emma’s optimism. The central theme of the story is this, the world will do everything it can to destroy your childlike innonce, your love for your family, your value for life, your care for others, and that’s why you need to never give up on those things or throw them away willingly because the world will try to pry them away from you regardless.

Even more cynical characters like Ray are saved by Emma’s idealism, and then become necessary to Emma’s survival. However thy would not have been saved if Emma did not reach out to them in the first place so their cynicism would have been no use. Ray literally wanted to Roast himself alive because he did not see a future where he could escape and grow up and saw that his only escape was to burn himself before he could be eaten as cattle before Emma showed him he still had a future.

The next challenge to Emma’s ideals is Yugo who is an adult, and an escaped cattle child like them but rather than wanting to cooperate he only cares about his own survival. That time too, even though Emma is taken hostage the first time they meet, Emma insists on negotiating with him and trying to understand him, even though in her typical Emma way she doesn’t mean an entirely peaceful negotiation and is completely willing to use threats to get him to go her way.

Yugo as somebody who started out as an idealistic kid like Emma who escaped with his whole family believing in William Minerva’s words brings up what I mentioned earlier as the way of challenging Emma’s methodology. Does she really believe in those lofty ideals, or will she give them up when she’s lost too much to continue beliving in them. For example if half of her family died from the escape attempt would she continue with the other half still aiming for trying to protect what she had left or would her heart be too broken?

And Emma’s answer is pretty clear. Yes, her ideology is to save everyone and that naturally conflicts with the idea of losing others. Once she loses one person she’s failed to save everybody so what then, what becomes her reason for fighting? However, her answer is clear cut, that in every situation you have to keep trying to save everybody you can.

Even when you lose others, you keep going for the people that remain. So once again, Emma is not a precious baby girl with soft feelings, she’ll get angry and frustrated with people when they refuse to go her way the way she sees as best and doesn’t alway sunderstand why people don’t just shoot for the best to begin with. She doesn’t accept all the negativity in the world with a smile, she fights back, she gets angry. She refuses to bend to others and insists they bend to her instead just like her first fight with Ray.

Not only that but Emma is extremely confrontational and always tries to talk things out as fast as possible even when it’s easier to avoid things, or to just not deal with people. Yugo was unconscious and they could have just killed him in his sleep especially since he was an adult that took her hostage the first time, and she does the much riskier thing of trying to talk it out with him and understand what he’s feeling after he’s made multiple attempts on her life.

Empathy means acknowledging the feelings of others. Emma isn’t saying she would never give up like Yugo did in the past after suffering his loss, what Emma is saying is that she cares about her family so much that she understands how it must feel to lose that precious family. She’s acknowledging his emotions, and the possibility that she could have ended up like him if left all alone and tormented by her regrets. She’s using the feelings they have in common to reach him, but at the same time imagining a situation that is wildly different from her own current one to sympathize with a person who has been hostile to her in the past while acknowledging the danger and that she might just get hurt again. That is radical, true empathy.

Empathy means you have to try to understand the circumstances of others, even when those other people are coming into conflict with you.

Not only that but she points out that refusing to confront his pain is not only bad for them because they’ll get killed, but bad for him as well because he’ll suffer. There’s an ending where they can both come out of this for the better so that’s the ending Emma wants to shoot for. The way she finally gets through to him is relating her own circumstances. Even though she’s only talking about the loss of one person, not her entire family and having to deal with that loss for years she’s able to tell Yuugo the resolution she reached with her ideals. How she was able to believe she was saving everyone even after having to accept the sacrifice of Norman who was a part of her everyone.

And that too comes from the realization that even if other people died while she lived, they would not want her to die, and instead she has to carry on those hopes and dreams especially for those dead people who wished just as much as she did to reach the human world. She has to respect the wishes of those dead people even over her own emotions of grieving and move forward, because even if she wasn’t able to save them, she was still saved by them and they wouldn’t want somebody who they saved, who they loved and cared for to die.

The next challenge to Emma’s ideals is in the goldy pond arc, where she’s thrown into a situation where she basically has no familiarity around her at all, none of her family, no resources, where she’s basically powerless. These people aren’t her family, they’re complete strangers, and yet she feels their losses just as much.

Once agani, the scope of Emma’s ideals have to widen as she realizes there are more people to worry about than just her own family, and her own plantation escaping free to the human world. Not only does she have to accept that there are people she wants to save outside of her family and rapidly confront that relaity in front of her, but she also grapples directly with her own powerlessness again. As she went from a position of relative security haing escaped gracefield with relatively bloodless tactics to an all out war. This chapter basically spells it out, there are situations where there’s nothing you can do no matter how hard you try and your only real option is to get through them and try to do better next time.

This is the arc where Emma transforms from someone who just runs away, or escapes, or survives to realizing she also has to go on the offensive from time to time in order to help others survive. It also is an arc where she vastly expands her definition of family and realizes she wants to save more than just the ones from gracefield house.

Even when pushed to her edge though and motivated to fight back. Emma still considers that the best ending possible is the one where everyone gets to live. She even tries talking this out with the hunter, even if it’s only a strategy to buy time she offers that chance and tries the tactic of diplomacy. It’s something Emma never forgets no matter how many weird demons or maladjusted adults try to kill her.

Remember, the key in Emma’s philosophy lies in never giving up and always trying, and making sure not to waste anything you had to achieve the best ending possible. Of course it’s an inhuman standard but they’re twelve year olds with machine guns, they’re already enduring some pretty inhuman situations already.

IN this arc as well Emma’s recklessness also has a consequence. She’s injured when she takes a risk to attack the demon hunting her. They decide to go on an all or nothing shoot him until he stops moving strategy.

And just like this arc insists over and over again there are times when strategies don’t pay out, there are times when you can do nothing, and when the demon finally starts to recover, it stabs straight into Emma first. At that point they weren’t able to make it in time and the demon went for the obvious leader everybody was rallying behind and almost finished her in one blow.

So, as I’ve said so far, Emma’s naivete and ideals exist however she’s not unaware of the world around her. She’s not immune to danger or consequences from her actions either. Emma’s ideals aren’t there because she exists in a little bubble that never gets popped by the world around her. The world is as equally as harsh to Emma as it is everybody else, Emma also has to accept sacrifices, accept losses, accept times when she’s powerless.

What makes Emma’s ideals even stronger is that even after surviving those cirucmstances she doesn’t stop believing in her ideals.

Which is what makes her ideals so simple and powerful, because Emma herself struggles with them and realizes that they’re totally incompatible with the world around her. And her reconciliation with that is, this world is harsh and unfair and I refuse to accept that so I’m going to change it by giving it everything I have. That’s her recklessness, take the most risk and go for the best result.

The net big challenge to their ideals comes when their shelter is destroyed, and they’re hunted this time by humans rather than demons. We see once again, Emma tries to explain herself and attempts diplomacy even when two people are dead at her feet.

And once again she’s met with the fact that not only does the world not care about Emma’s ideas it’s denying even her basic personhood and her right to have those ideas.

So yes Emma’s dreams are unrealistic but once again she’s dreaming in a world that was never going to allow her to dream in the first place. That’s why it’s so mportant that it’s Emma who makes the world bend to her, rather than bending to the world. Emma doesn’t see her dreams as unrealistic, because for her all dreams or ideas to having a right to life of her own are unrealistic in the first place, and the world will tell her it over and over again.

And once again Emma’s reckless but she doesn’t ignore the consequences to her actions, or the dangers she faces in the world. She faces all of those things and chooses to continue hoping and working for better, and continue valuing life and living which in itself is a direct act of defiance and rebellion against the world that named them cattle.

The series is called The Promised Neverland and the main character Emma is Childish, Naive, but that is her strongpoint as well as her weakness. As a child she’s unaware of the world around her, separated from it, not a part of that system but because she is not a part of it she’s also able to think in ways no adult that’s associated with the broken system of that world ever could and imagine a new and better world and fight for that. The traits of a child she retains, forgiveness, empathy, believing in the best for yourself and others are traits that you should never give up on even as an adult.

#desmondneedshisscalpel #tpn #tpn meta #meta #emma #norman #ray #tpn emma #the promised neverland

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